#that excites me almost more than the actual finished product

[airenyah]

a peak into rehearsals of style's dance choreography from ep1 of the heart killers

[byoldervine]

Motivation For Writing

Getting Off Your Butt:

1. Aestheticise it. Let the light in through the curtains, turn on your fairy lights, lay a blanket over your lap, light some candles, whatever you need to do to feel like a writer. The right vibes can go a long way

2. Picture that one scene. There’s almost always a moment you’re super excited about that basically inspired the whole book. Picture it, play it out in your head in full cinematic fanfare, gush to yourself about how cool it is and how everyone will love it, picture a future fanbase going nuts for it. You might get excited enough to go back to writing

3. Set a word count goal. During NaNoWriMo this year I think I wrote more than I ever have in one go. The thing that kept me coming back was the desire to not fall behind. I ended up with ~45K words after some complications irl caused me to drop off in the final few days, and that’s all just because I was adding up the 1667 a day word count goal and realising where I needed to be at to keep up. I definitely can’t stay as rigid as I did with 1667 words every single day, but seeing that you’re only a few hundred words off of a goal is super motivating - just be sure to set realistic, easy to achieve parameters for just general use, like 1000-2000 words per week. I know 200 words per day is a popular one for people trying to establish a writing routine that can’t dedicate forever to the craft

Maintaining Motivation:

1. Writing sprints. Writing sprints are a godsend for me, I like to set myself up in the living room with Abbie Emmons’ writing sprint video on. The video lasts two hours and is broken up into two parts; 25 minutes to write and 5 minutes for breaks between writing, so four 30 minute sprints overall. Having the timer and countdown with peaceful music and an aesthetic background is both relaxing and encouraging, as well as giving me a specific time for how much longer I have to push through. It’s easier for me to say “Okay, only ten more minutes, then you can take a break” then it is to say “Just keep going, we’re not stopping until I say so” which is too arbitrary for my brain to accept

2. Give yourself a choice. If you’re struggling to keep your focus, come up with a finish line and tell yourself you don’t have to do any more work once you’ve reached that point. Finish the paragraph, go for another five or ten minutes, keep it up until your next scheduled break. Whatever sounds realistic and doable without being overwhelming. And once you’ve met this goal, ask yourself if you still want to stop. With any luck, you’ll have gotten back into the zone and will choose to keep going. Maybe you’ll want to take a quick break but you’ll come back later on. And maybe you’ll decide that now actually is a good stopping point. Just remember that, if you do still want to stop, don’t force yourself to keep going. You can’t strike deals with yourself if you know you won’t keep your word and all you’ll end up doing is burning yourself out, which will lead to even less writing getting done

3. Try a new angle. If you can’t be bothered to write anymore, is there anything else you can do for your book? Plotting, editing, worldbuilding, character sheets, one-shots all that sort of thing can still be productive for your book while still being different enough to give your brain a slight respite. It also means less work in that particular area later on

Afterwards:

1. Organise. Clean up your workspace and put everything away so it’s nice and neat for when you come back to it. Or if you don’t need to pack things out the way, set it up in an aesthetically pleasing way so it will tempt you back next time. Let it give you the writer vibe

2. Take care of yourself. Get a drink, have a snack, walk about, stretch your limbs, take a breath, cuddle your pet. Something that gets you away from straining your eyes looking at text for a bit. This is also a good time to reward yourself if positive reinforcement is something you use on yourself. If you always feel shitty after your writing sessions, you won’t want to go back to it

3. Positive reflection. Make sure to tell yourself you did good, even if you didn’t get as much done as you would’ve liked or it isn’t up to a standard of quality you’re aiming for. That can all be fixed later on, and you’re infinitely better off than you would’ve been if you didn’t do it. Be proud of yourself. Tell yourself you’re proud of your hard work and your dedication and your effort. Remind yourself that this is a fun thing you like to do. Marvel over how insane it is that you’ve gotten this far - not many people do - and that you’ve got all this tangible work to prove you’ve accomplished something so many people wish they could pull off. If this isn’t fun overall, there’s no point

[joeys-babe]

Joey B Imagines: I’m On Fire*

————————————————————————-

Summary: When Joe mistakenly leaves his JB9 iced-out chain while at an away game, you bless him with a little photoshoot while you're hours away in Cincinnati.

Warnings: Smut

Paring: Joe Burrow x reader

Imagine universe: Just the Two of Us

————————————————————————-

*No specific date for this fic!*

(y/n’s pov)

Joe had just left the house for an away game, and due to some work-related stuff, I wasn't able to go with him.

The pouty expression he gave me when we were standing at the front door just a little bit ago made me want to climb into his bag. His lower lip sticking out was oddly convincing, along with his blue eyes.

“Joe, you know I can't go, baby.” - you

“Please… I want you to go with me.” - Joe whined

“I wish I could go too, but I can't, J.” - you

Joe whined once again, but this time, it made me roll my eyes. My annoyance didn't last long, though, as he hunched over and laid his head on my shoulder.

“I love you.” - Joe mumbled

His face being pressed into my neck made his words muffled, but it was oddly adorable.

“I love you too, but if you don't leave now, you're going to be late.” - you

I laughed when he stood up straight and groaned.

“I'm gonna be so lonely by myself in my hotel room tonight.” - Joe

“We can Facetime, goofball.” - you

“Not the same.” - Joe whined

“Okay, enough whining. Goodbye, Joe.” - you

Joe stared at me for a few seconds, trying to come up with a response that didn't show how annoyed he really was.

“Bye…” - Joe mumbled

I stood up on my tiptoes and pressed a kiss to Joe’s lips. When I pulled away, I giggled at the look of his flushed cheeks.

“Love you, sheisty.” - you

“Love you too.” - Joe grinned

——

Hours later, I was bored out of my mind, all alone in this big house.

I had cleaned almost the entire house, scrolled through Pinterest, made a dinner recipe I had pinned, and finished a show I had been binging - Fool Me Once.

There was pretty much nothing to do.

All I was doing right now was lying in bed, watching the ceiling fan turn, and feeling kinda sad when I got a whiff of Joe’s scent off of his pillow.

I missed him, and I saw him just hours ago.

That's what happens when your boyfriend turns into your best friend, I guess.

Joe’s game wasn't till tomorrow, but they'd probably just landed at their destination.

Maybe I should text him?

After thinking about it for a few minutes, I made up my mind and texted Joe.

hiiii

Ew, no. Sounds desperate.

What am I even talking about? I've been with this man for six years.

I had almost deleted my message, but Joe answered before I could.

HIIII! 😁

He's such a dork, I thought to myself with a giggle.

Wyd?

Nothinggg, hbu??

Do I tell the truth or make a lie to seem productive? In the end, I told the truth.

Missing you.

My heart warmed at Joe’s message back.

I miss you too. ☹️

Are you at your hotel yet?

It took Joe a few minutes to answer, but his reasoning was ironic.

Just got back from checking in actually. Imma head up to my room, take a shower, and then ft you.

Okay, I'll talk to you then! 🫶

Talk to ya then, I LOVE YOU! 🥰

I hearted his message and than sent the sentiment back.

Love you more, baby. 😘

The conversation ended after Joe’s simple but butterfly-inducing text.

Not fuckin’ possible.

——

We were on Facetime for way longer than we should have, but neither of us cared.

The call ended with the usual “I love you more” back-and-forth playful argument.

Joe won in the end, and I can't say I’m surprised because he always did.

After the call ended, I was just lying in bed, my head on Joe’s pillow, just to smell his scent.

I got bored eventually and decided to play around in the closet. Joe always forbade me from trying on his chains, but he wasn't here.

My eyes immediately widened with excitement as I opened the top drawer on Joe’s side of our walk-in closet.

Everything was cleared out except one chain, he probably took them all with him to have options for his fit tomorrow.

“Damn, this is heavy.” - you mumbled

It was the JB9 Nike check chain Joe wore for the AFC Championship in 2022.

One of my personal favorites out of his collection but too iconic to be worn again.

God, he looked so hot that day.

I stared at myself in the mirror, the chain of my boyfriend’s initials and number adorning my neck.

That's when I got the idea.

——

Settling into my bed for the night, I grabbed my phone and giggled to myself as I looked through the pictures recently taken in my camera roll.

Nothing but black lace and that iced-out chain.

——

Next Day

Joe won his game, and sure, I was happy to see him win, but being miles away from him and unable to celebrate with him put a damper on my mood.

I watched the game by myself in the living room, and then proudly watched his post-game conference.

Just a minute after Joe left the media room, I received a text from him.

Did you watch the game?

Of course. Watched your conference too, baby.

Joe didn’t answer for a few minutes, and I thought he might've gone to take his postgame shower, but his text back made me laugh.

I just got made fun of because I was blushing from your text. “You texting yo girl?”

What did you say back? 😂

I proudly said yes. 😁

A few seconds passed before another text vibrated my phone.

Hey, I gotta go shower, though. We're set to get home late tonight, so don't wait up on me.

What if I want to?

You'll wake up with me next to you in the morning either way, so no need to wait for me to get back.

He was right, so I left him alone to go shower.

——

It was around ten o'clock, and Joe had texted me just a little bit ago, saying they were on the bus to the airport.

Out of nowhere, with no context or caption with it, I sent Joe my little experiment earlier.

Attachment: 10 images

When I was left alone with Joe’s chain earlier, I took a little photo shoot with some black lace lingerie and Joe’s chain.

He'd usually take a power nap on his way to the plane, so I was surprised when his response was quick.

Joe sent a picture of himself with his eyes wide and mouth dropped open in shock.

The silly reaction picture made me giggle, but I had no idea that Joe had just pulled his bag onto his lap while on the bus in an attempt to hide the stirring between his legs.

Fucking shit, y/n. I'm getting so hard right now that I might have to rub one out on the plane.

No. 😘

Wdym, no?

How do I word this?

You always get pissed when I get off without you, how about a taste of your own medicine?

I don't get pissed…

Joe, honey.

Please, baby.

No.

Joe sighed and put his phone on his chest, discreetly slipping his hand down his sweatpants to rearrange the erection in his boxers. He's so hard just from the sight of nothing but lingerie and his initials in the form of diamonds on your body.

He so wished he was with you, inside you.

——

When Joe got home, it was really late.

You were already sleeping, so when Joe slipped into the bedroom he made sure to be quiet.

Joe stood there for a few seconds, just admiring how peaceful you looked while sleeping.

A small smile found its way onto his face when he noticed you were wearing his t-shirt and snuggled onto his pillow instead of yours.

After staring for a lot longer than he anticipated, Joe put his bag down and took his sweatshirt off before crawling into bed beside you.

You stirred for a bit, feeling the presence of someone else near you. After moving around for a bit, you were met with a hard chest, but you knew it all too well.

Joe grinned to himself when you snuggled into him, your face against his pec. He ran his fingers through your hair, and soon, you were peacefully sleeping again.

Feeling tired but unable to sleep, Joe discreetly grabbed his phone to see the messages he wasn't able to answer on the plane and his drive home.

You sent him a video?

Joe made sure his volume was down before pressing play on the video. His eyes went wide when he was met with the sight of you fingering yourself.

All at once, Joe’s heart rate picked up, he started sweating, and his cock stirred in his sweatpants.

He didn't need volume to know you were moaning his name with each thrust of your fingers. Joe was able to read your lips.

The sight of your head thrown back, bare chest, and your sweet heat swallowing your fingers had Joe fully erect in a matter of a minute.

He needed you badly.

Joe can admit he was thinking with his dick and not his brain when he shook you awake. In his defense, most of his blood supply was in the wrong head.

“Joey?” - you mumbled

“Shit- sorry I woke you up…” - Joe

“I missed you…” - you

His heart fluttered, and he hoped you wouldn't shift around and feel him. Please just go back to sleep.

In all honesty, Joe felt guilty waking you up with his sexual needs in mind. He felt horrible and selfish.

“Missed you too, baby.” - Joe

You moved around and Joe’s eyes went wide. Please don't feel it. Please don't feel it.

Abruptly, you paused your shifting and looked up at Joe’s face. Maybe she just found a comfortable spot?

It was hard to make out Joe’s features in the dark, but you could see his piercing blue eyes easily.

Unbeknownst to Joe, you'd felt his hard-on as soon as he got it, but you wanted to mess with him, make him beg for it.

Slowly, you reached your hand out and palmed his bulge. Joe bit his lower lip to stop an audible reaction as you started rubbing him.

“He missed me too, huh?” - you giggle

“Fuck- so much.” - Joe

“Take your pants off, Joe.” - You

Joe shed his pants and boxers off faster than the speed of light, all because his girl asked.

Now that he was completely free from restraint, Joe got even harder, and he didn't think that was possible.

You spit into your hand and firmly grasped his cock, a plan forming in your mind as you started to jerk him off.

Joe was a groaning mess, relishing in the feel of your hand around his length because he'd needed this for days.

Precum was beading at Joe’s tip, so you maneuvered yourself around to take him into your mouth.

“Sh-it.” - Joe moaned

He was close, so close.

“Baby- I'm gonna… cum!” - Joe

You pulled off of him, trying to follow your plan of edging him until he couldn't help but beg for you to finish him off, but Joe was too close to stop his inevitable orgasm.

With a loud moan, Joe shot his load onto your face, some making it into your mouth.

Both of you were surprised when it happened, looking at each other with wide eyes.

“I- I'm sorry…” - Joe

“No, don't be.” - you

You reached out and put a hand on his chest, rubbing comforting circles on it.

He grabbed a tissue off of his nightstand and wiped his cum off of your face.

“That was kinda embarrassing…” - Joe

“Why?” - you

Your voice was soft, a little sad yourself that Joe felt embarrassed.

“I don't know, I couldn't stop it from happening, but it happened so fast. Like under three minutes? That's embarrassing.” - Joe

“Joe, don't be embarrassed. How long you last doesn't matter to me at all, I just wanna make you feel good.” - you

He nodded but bit the insides of his cheeks.

“I think it's kinda hot that I can get you off that fast. Makes me feel good about myself.” - you

“Really? You don't think it's funny or embarrassing?” - Joe

“No, baby.” - you

You leaned up and pressed a big kiss to Joe’s lips, one of his legs slotting between yours, causing you to grind down onto his thigh.

“Mmm, Joey baby.” - you moaned

“That's it.” - Joe

——

Next Morning

You woke up with a grin on your face as you replayed last night's events in your mind.

Joe had gotten you off twice with his fingers and tongue before he filled you up with his thick cock.

In the back of his mind, he was still feeling a little self-conscious about his first orgasm of the night, but he wouldn't let it show.

When you two were in the shower cleaning up, you could tell something was on Joe’s mind and that something was what had happened earlier.

Without saying anything, you dropped to your knees when his back was to you. He turned around and looked down at you, his dick stirring to life at the all-too-familiar position.

Despite the fact you two had just gone four rounds, Joe’s craving for you was never-ending.

You'd slowly reached out to stroke him, and you finished him off with your mouth.

He manhandled you back to your feet before pressing you against the shower wall.

“If you want me to stop, I will, but you started this.” - Joe

The feel of his thick length against your behind, and his hands holding you in place was getting you worked up all over again.

“Fuck me, Joey.” - you

You two ended the night giggling in bed as you counted up the number of orgasms shared between you two that night.

“Four for me, four for you, gah-lee!” - Joe

“I’m not gonna be able to walk tomorrow morning.” - you

“Fuck I might even have a limp.” - Joe

You were pulled out of your fantasies when Joe walked into the bedroom. Toes curled at the sweet sight of him.

Joe wore nothing but a bashful smile, a pair of sweatpants, and raging bedhead.

“Hi.” - you smiled

“Hi. How'd you sleep?” - Joe

“Good. Get in bed with me?” - you

He did as you asked and curled up in bed beside you, pulling you into his chest in the process.

“Where were you?” - you

“Uh… nowhere…” - Joe

You sat up and looked at him, giving him a skeptical look as you narrowed your eyes at him.

Joe sighed and broke your eye contact.

“I was doing something downstairs. It was supposed to be a surprise after you got ready, but you can come downstairs now.” - Joe

You excitedly jumped out of Joe’s arms and ran out of the bedroom, your hand grabbing his as he followed you.

When you two got downstairs, you saw the dining table set up like a date. Breakfast on both of the plates and a bouquet of roses between them.

Joe walked away from you for a second and grabbed a rose.

He walked back up to you and held the flower in front of his bare chest.

“Go on a date with me?” - Joe

You grinned at your boyfriend so big that your cheeks hurt.

“Of course.” - you

Joe handed the single rose to you, and you stood up on your tiptoes to place a kiss on his smooth cheek.

“Thank god, woulda been really awkward if you said no.” - Joe

“I'd never say no to you.” - you laughed

The blush on his cheeks went deep, almost to the shade of the rose he gave you.

You spent the rest of the morning laughing with the handsome man you loved so deeply, wondering about how you got so lucky, and thinking about your future with him.

You were so grateful to have a man you could laugh with, share secrets with, tell all the drama to, and have intense intimate moments with. Sometimes, all within the same day or hour.

It was scary to realize how much of yourself you put in Joe’s hands, but you trusted him more than anything.

The sweet thoughts and realizations were swirling in your mind and making you smile. You'd been staring out of the window, but your thoughts were abruptly interrupted…

*BURP*

Your wide eyes snapped over to Joe, who was holding a hand over his mouth and shared the same wide-eyed look.

“Sorry, didn't expect it to be that loud.” - Joe laughed

“Gosh, I love you.” - you laughed along with him

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Authors note: GOT IT OUT BEFORE MONDAY! 😆

Request for this fic;

Hope you enjoyed! ❤️❤️

[4only1]

Feliz Navidad - Secret Santa Part 3 (King's Edition)

Featuring: Jichang Kwak, Taesoo Ma, Seongji Yuk, Gitae Kim, Gongseob Ji, Seokdu Wang, Jaegyeon Na

Masterlist -----------------------

Jichang Kwak

Unfortunately, when someone has a job, it leaves them very little time to participate in something as silly as secret santa. Unfortunately, Jichang, the man you wanted to so desperately participate in secret santa, had a job.

You sat on a bench, pouting your lips. You really wanted Jichang to participate so you could rig it and give him a gift. Why can’t the gods do you a favour for once and let you cause some mischief.

You heard the crunch of boots against snow to your side, but decided to ignore it, too sad. Atleast, until a familiar voice spoke.

“Does me not participating in secret santa really make you that sad? Well then, I suppose I’ll have to participate next year, no matter how busy I am.”

Sitting up straight, Jichang was standing in front of you, a cigarette between his lips. You stared, at a loss for words. It only took him 5 seconds to see what was wrong with you. You felt stupid now knowing that even when he was busy, he made the time to come and find you. And you were just complaining about not being able to surprise him.

“It’s okay to be upset with me. I wanted to participate, but they needed me to work more hours. Come over for Christmas dinner though. We could use someone who actually knows how to cook” Jichang said, placing a hand on your head, ruffling your hair.

As he walked away, a deep red blush appeared on your face. You curled into a ball, letting out a scream.

“Ahhhhhh, how can such a man exist”

----------------------- Taesoo Ma

Taesoo’s large hands were covering your eyes as he led you to who knows where. Well…he did, he just wouldn't tell you. You had almost tripped a dozen times by now, getting more impatient with each step.

Finally you both came to a stop. 

“Okay, you ready?” He grumbles out. His hands move away from your eyes and you stare in confusion.

In front of you was the wilderness, trees rustling with the wind. You stare up at Taesoo, waiting for an explanation on what was happening.

“You told me about how cool it is to own a mountain, so I got you your own.” He said, his voice dead serious.

Now that is not something you see everyday. You never thought this man would go out of his way to buy you something you had mentioned in passing a while ago. Your jaw was on the ground. In shock, at how much money this man actually had to buy multiple mountains.

Taesoo picks your jaw up, closing your mouth, before lecturing you a bit.

“Close your mouth or else you'll catch flies. Maybe I should have gifted you a smaller mountain.”

The mountain wasn't the problem.

----------------------- Seongji Yuk

You sat cross-legged, waiting for the treat Seongji had promised you. You know that he had limited money, so when he told you he got you anything at all, you were ecstatic.

A sweet smell lingered through the air, and a small crackle of sugar was heard. As Seongji handed you the finished product, he spoke, voice low yet clear.

“Wait for it to cool before you eat it. I don't wanna, or have the equipment, to deal with burns.”

The tanghulu was beautiful looking. The sugary syrup coated the fruit perfectly, not leaving a spot untouched. You waited patiently, both for it to cool, and for Seongji to join you.

“Sorry I couldn't give you anything else, I hope you enjoy this.” He said, sitting cross-legged next to you.

A smile crossed your face and you took the first bite, it was as good as it looked. Looking at Seongji, you spoke, excited, not thinking.

“Are you kidding me! What's better than a sweet treat with a sweet man”

You cringed at your words but he just smiled.

----------------------- Kim Gitae/Kitae

“Here”

It was one word but Gitae spoke it with authority, no room for arguments. He threw a package into your lap, causing you to fumble a bit. Picking it up, you examined it for a good minute before you asked what it was.

“Um…what is this?”

Curiosity tainted your tone as you continued to stare at the mysterious package. A small chuckle came from Gitae as he lit a cigarette. He took a puff before responding, amused at your reaction.

“Only the best of what I got. Use it or sell it, I really don't care, just don't go making a name for yourself with it.”

Oh…OH SHIT!

Your eyes widened at the new information. In what world did Gitae think drugs would make an amazing secret santa gift. Who even let him participate? Couldn't he have just bought you something with the drug money instead of making you work for it yourself?

“What the actual fuck Gitae! I’m dragging your ass down if I get caught with this” That earned you a hearty laugh.

----------------------- Gongseob Ji

Gongseob stood close to you, too close. Even when you side stepped, he followed, leaving almost no room between the two of you. Finally, you had enough and decided to ask what his deal was. 

“What do you want?” It came off harsh but he didn't care.

“I'm your secret santa, exciting right?” His tongue was sticking out as he spoke.

“I got you an amazing gift, one of a kind.” He kept yapping on, but you drowned him out.

Your attention was brought back when you heard the sound of a zipper being undone. Looking down, you were greeted with Gongseob, who had started to pull out Gongseob junior. Oh fuck no!

“What the hell!” You exclaimed. How did he think his dick was a gift? Cocky man! This gift SUCKED!!!

You moved automatically, your form would make even the best boxers swoon at how good it looked. With speed never seen before, not even by him, your fist swung swiftly, yet hard, landing right on his family jewels.

He fell to the ground, clutching his damaged merchandise, moaning in pain. You let out a sigh before shaking your fist out. A smile grew on your face as you let out a laugh

“I take it back, that was an amazing gift.”

----------------------- Seokdu Wang

Seokdu pulled out your seat, allowing you to sit down before pushing the chair in. For such an unassuming and rough looking man, he sure knew his manners.

The food was served as soon as he sat down. An assortment of dishes scattered across the large table. This was quite the luxurious gift, one you weren't expecting from him.

“Thank you for the meal, everything looks amazing”

Your words held only the truth. Everything looked yummy. Looking at his plate, you noticed a salad, just a salad. Confused, you decided to ask about it.

“So…what's with the salad, you look like the type to eat raw meat.”

“I'm vegan.”

Ah, there always was a catch. Something you would never have assumed by looking at him. You decided to change the subject, to a more pressing matter.

“I wish you had told me what the gift was beforehand. I would have dressed up better to fit the vibes of this place. I look like a rat.”

You didn't actual look like a rat, you looked like wet rat who survived a hurricane. You were wearing sweatpants that hadn't been washed in weeks, a baggy sweater and your hair was all over the place.

“Don't worry about others seeing you. I booked the whole restaurant.”

How are all the king's so rich???

----------------------- Jaegyeon Na

“I've driven a million kilometers on it and it's still good as new, I swear.” Jaegyeon spoke, placing the car keys in your hand.

You look at the car he was gifting you and well normally you would have been crying tears of joy at the gift, you just stared, annoyed. Initial N, as he called it, was the ugliest car you've ever seen. And that was before whatever happened to it 

Looking at it now, the front hood was smashed, and the roof was gone. It also smelled like piss, more so than usual. Did he think you were stupid.

“No” Is all you say, too insulted to speak otherwise. How dare this man try and give you an ugly car.

“What do you mean no? You can't say no to a gift, especially one as good as this one. Who else am I supposed to give this to?”

“Not my problem.” You tell the man, before walking away, done with the man and his ugly cars. You look back at the sound of crying. This man was hugging the car, telling it how special it was.

Well Jaegyeon was special, no doubt about that.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 4

Welcome to part three of the secret santa series! We have one more part to go! I'll give you a spolier in that in contains 5/6 characters and it will be posted on the 24th. It will be the last part of the secret santa series.

If you don't see your favourite character in this part, go check out the others!

Easiest to write for: Gongseob Ji

Hardest to write for: Jichang Kwak

[yuzurins]

# to tell you the truth

12 — meeting, number three?

smau masterlist ∗ previous chapter ∗ next chapter

“chigiri, you’re late.” 

you tap your foot impatiently as the person in question (who also happens to be project leader) quickly runs up to you. 

he splutters out a quick apology as he catches his breath. “i’m really sorry! my class was held back longer than i expected.” 

sighing, you uncross your arms and go over to help hold the project stuff he was carrying. 

chigiri looks at you with pleading eyes. “please don’t be mad.”

“it’s fine, just tell me–” you quickly glance over to the person standing beside you. “i mean us, ahead of time if you’re going to run late.”

he grins and does a quick bow. “yeah, sorry!”

“let’s go.”  you nod back, before turning and walking in the direction of the campus library, leaving the other two behind. 

chigiri gives a look to rin, as if to question him “what happened?”, but much to his disappointment, rin returns the same look back.

“so?” the redhead starts.

“nothing happened.” rin rolls his eyes. “she came here, glared at me, and then we just waited for you.”

“you waited in silence for 15 minutes??”

“yes.” rin replies, but he doesn’t make eye contact. chigiri notices this but lets it off when he notices you leaving the building. 

“suspicious.” he raises a brow. “but let’s go before we get left behind!” 

rin picks up one of the bags that chigiri had brought and motions for him to go first. 

“how chivalrous of you.” 

“shut up.”

though the tension was high at first, it became less awkward faster than anyone had originally expected it to be. as top students, work ethic had a bigger influence than past grudges, and you weren’t going to let all your previous hard work go to waste. before you knew it, you actually forgot you were working with the itoshi rin, the one guy who can ruin your mood in a split second. 

but you can’t lie, seeing rin’s talent for art made you feel envious; he really was good at everything (though you would never admit that).

“you know, i think we actually make a pretty good team.”

you blink. “what?” 

“i mean, look at how productive we’ve been!” lightheartedly, chigiri laughs, without any fear of the potential hole he’s about to dig himself into by starting this conversation. “it looks like we might actually finish this today.”

seeing as how relaxed the he was, you reluctantly put a smile on and decide to humour him. “yeah, we should totally do this again.” 

“what-“ rin almost chokes on his water in response to your (meaningless) joke, which surprises you as you expected only a scoff from the boy. however, it seems like hes the dense one here, because he for one can not tell when the slightest tone of sarcasm is being used.

on the other hand, someone does take advantage of your sarcasm. “oh? i’ll take you up on that!”

you glare at the red haired boy, but to no avail are you able to get him to evoke his proposal. “i thought you said we might be able to finish this today…?”  

chigiri raises his brows and smiles. “we still have to decorate!”

he’s really pushing it.

a sigh barely escapes your lips before he follows up in attempt to ease your growing irritation. you couldn’t help it, after all, chigiri’s making an obvious attempt to get you to spend more time with rin. 

“well i mean, it’s early anyways. i think we can get this over with today.” though just barely noticeable, you notice him starting to sulk, and you just slightly begin to feel bad for him.

“whatever.” you close your eyes. “can’t say i’m opposed.” 

chigiri’s face starts to light up, and he jumps out of his seat, a bit too eagerly. “really!?”

he’s excited, you’re not too sure why, but that all ends as you tell him, sternly, “except since you said so, we aren’t leaving until we do finish.”

dejected, he slowly falls back into his seat. “everything?”

“everything.”

a light chuckle comes out of the boy sitting across chigiri. you nearly miss it, but it’s too memorable for you to not notice; as if your ears are accustomed to this sound from hearing it more often than you’d like to remember.

your eyes shoot towards the direction of the laugh, and rin freezes from all the sudden attention. he realizes quickly that your gaze is pressing for an answer, but in all honesty, he himself doesn’t even know how to respond. 

“what?” he splutters. “there was something in my throat.”

you squint your eyes at him, unconvinced. “just so you know, ‘desperate for grades’ me and ‘regular’ me are not the same.” 

“am i supposed to feel threatened by that?” he questions, amusement growing in his tone.

“yes.” you reply immediately. “in case, you know, you think i actually tolerate you now or something.” 

“i’m not delusional.”

you raise a brow. “you sure about that?”

there’s a pause before another word is spoken. you notice the slight shift in his demeanour as you watch rin process your words, hastily open his mouth after. but instead of uttering a rude remark, he closes his mouth and looks away, clenching his fist. 

confused, you look towards chigiri, but he’s as clueless as you are.

the productive atmosphere soils, and the awkward tension that inevitably trails you and rin around returns once more. 

it’s only the sounds of typing, writing, and your wondering thoughts that fill the study room.

why was he getting offended after a joke that he started himself? was it something you said? was it how you looked at him? did he get self conscious because it’s true? or offended because you were extremely off? you wouldn’t know. 

you don’t understand rin at all, and after hearing such from not just rin, but reo as well, you’re well aware that that’s a fact. 

“so,” chigiri speaks up after what feels like a millennia. “how much research do we have left? can we start decorating the display?” 

“i’m practically done, did you bring the stuff?” 

he nods, walking over to take all the arts supplies out of the giant bag he brought. 

“rin, how about you, are you ready?” chigiri asks, but all he gets back in response is an irritated glare. 

a frown adorns your face as you pity chigiri for having to deal with rin’s childish attitude due to your rivalry with the latter. it made you feel responsible for brightening up the atmosphere, even if it wasn’t your problem at all that rin couldn’t handle a joke. “it’s fine, we can start without him.”

but the response you had believed to be the most harmless one (which was avoiding the problem), turned out to be the worst one yet. 

rin slams the papers he was holding down onto the table beside his laptop. he lets out a deep sigh and turns to look at the two of you. “no. i’m not.”

“‘kay,” chigiri starts, before slowly sitting down and flashing you a quick glance of alarm. “i’ll look over everything again, just let us know when you’re done.”

this won’t do. 

you absolutely hated the fact that rin was being a selfish prick right now, but despite your opposition, it would be too much for chigiri to handle this guy alone. which is how you came to the conclusion that it was time to bring out the fabricated extroverted version of yourself deliberately prepared to deal with awkward situations with strangers. you just had to mentally prepare to delude yourself by erasing every single interaction you had shared with rin, and all the feelings of resentment you held towards him. easy… right?

it was going to be a long, long, day.

notes: I AM SO SORRY FOR THE SHITTY CHAPTER T_T i just wnated to lyk that y/n is an extremely unreliable narrator and that everything written in their perspective is only what they deduce from the environment around them!!!!!! please enjoy and i will be definitely doing better with the smau posts instead of written chapters lMFOA

pairing ∗ itoshi rin x f!reader

synopsis — all you wanted was a peaceful and productive uni life, but despite your pleas, your plans start crumbling when the star of the football team, itoshi rin, begins to beat you in every aspect possible. as you confront the inevitable, what happens when you uncover secrets behind an unforgettable event from the past?

taglist 1/2 ∗ send an ask / comment to be added or removed

@kitorin @rinsque @jleijl @rintosei @strawberrypockybox @beanxiv @ode2rin @h4nman @hanmastattoos @kaitfae @idk-bro-gay @piichuu @wishiknewwhatiwasdoingwithmylife @invictax @chaosinanutshell @exatse @kirameki-kumo @xoxojisu @mellozhi @certaindreampost @limerence-lu @nutsinspector @kawaii-angelanne @rroxii @saesins @anngelllla @anurst @y-sabell-a @hellothere9597 @evilenchantresss @msameikanevaeh @saesofficialwife @reiners-milkbiddies @f1yh1gh @celioderso @amenial @wooasecret @kascar-chronicle @izonoi @biaonww @blissblossom @sereniteav @1lovestrawberrymilk @hearts4itoshi @yeojeolmi @arxliana @janbannan @leeyzhuo @kiritokunuwu @geombyu @jiaspoon @yunxbin @p3achiee (if your name is in bold it means i can't tag you)

[l1llina]

"Huh, me? Like him ?"

Alhaitham x Fem!Reader

18+, Minors dni

Synopsis: The Akademiya is pushing a big project to fight the Abyss Order. You along with the other students are assigned to work on it. This project will bring you and Alhaitham closer.

It’s another day, another day of zoning out. What annoyed you even more was this really stuck up guy in your class. He always seemed to look down on everyone else, including you, and you’re a sensitive bitch so this bothered you a lot. 

One day, the school reveals that every student will play a part in building a machine to fight the Abyss Order specifically the Abyss Prince. The pressure and excitement in everyone was of course very high almost overbearing. You couldn’t believe it. This was... amazing. Big ambitious projects with the whole help of the school. The school officially recruited everyone and everyone became an employee for the Akademiya.

Unfortunately, the way they assigned divisions were by class, this was all planned by the day you enrolled. The leader of your division who could order you to do anything he wishes was.. Alhaitham urgh. This went from being your dream to a nightmare. 

He actually didn’t put many rules but the goal for that semester was to finish an elemental laser gun. Surprisingly every person in the class had a different role. You received the Casanova role but why did they need one ? At first, you pondered maybe they just didn’t want to hurt your feelings but then you guessed it was because they still lacked sufficient funding for such a project so you were the leader of your own little crew. The marketing crew!

Your job was to convince people to invest in such a project, and honestly who better for the job hah. Additionally the school encouraged the students to actually date and find love within other similar types. You were kind of manipulated into dating the heads of the project. Since production would go up if a Casanova and Leader got along well.

You were “advised accordingly” to go on a date with Alhaitham, your enemy. You didn’t have any romantic/sexual feelings for him before the date but during the date, he seemed a little obsessed, a little too happy to be here. 

The Akademiya issued Friday to be a day to deepen relationships between the students. Admittedly they cared more if you had sex. They didn’t give the opportunity to buy condoms, since they hoped the students could bear kids to continue the project if the parents died. 

Alhaitham urged you to take a sip of wine, you did out of politeness and out of curiosity to see what he’d do. You didn’t want your gut feeling to be right, to think he’d do something terrible, however when you came to, you were in white lingerie in Alhaitham’s dorm. 

“Hey.. Y/N, I’m sure you know why I abused my position of power to get you here. You teased me on purpose huh, wearing that short pencil skirt. I don’t like helping the school with their corrupt ways but I can’t help but want to keep you to myself so let’s bear a child and we’ll rule the school”

He began teasing you, bouncing you on his thigh, you muffled your moans, refusing to yield to this asshole’s demands, but slowly, after being edged for so long, you started losing your rationale and following his demands. He worshipped the body that would give him an heir and the woman who clouded his mind for years. 

“I saw how you looked at me in class, such hatred and disgust, there’s nothing more satisfying than triumphing over my enemies but in this case, you’re my doll now and don’t worry doll I’ll make sure to treat you right and please you accordingly”

You thought he’d stop at grinding you on his laps but he got down on his knees and started stuffing your tiny hole and circling your clit with his tongue. Urgh the only thing that’s stopping you from giving yourself to him fully is your pride. If you gave in, he’d win and there’d be no guarantee you’ll find real love with him.

“Why are you still holding back, do you think I’ll hit you ? Insult you ? Never, not to the girl I’ve respected for so long”

“W-What, re-respect hngh..?”

“Yeah, you’re a little stupid but you always kept your promises and showed your hatred for hypocrisy and oppression of the system. You’re exactly my type, I love your character and I hope even after this little stunt, you can find a place in your heart to love me too”

“Al.. I didn’t wanna give in because I don’t like losing.. These past few years, I always thought you were an asshole, even now you’re proving my point but right now I couldn’t care less, you being an asshole also ties with your ambition and I couldn’t find anything more attractive than that, well devotion too but you’re that too so. More so, you’re fucking hot.. Are you kidding me ?”

“So, we’re a thing then ?”

“Yeah.. now fuck me with your cock already, just so you know though I don’t really like kids but I still wanna have sex with you right now”

He plunges his cock and makes you cum many times that night. The next day your dorm changed to Al Haitham’s and you shared a dorm now. Outside of school hours and even during, you would be in his office, dating and fucking him” 

At night, you found a new nerd pal to geek out with but he sometimes takes it too far and it ends up in passionate makeout sessions. The next morning, the cycle continues

TBC <3 Pls don't hate me

[anonomouswriter-blr]

Oikawa x Reader: School Festival [a haikyuu one-shot]

Ok y'all, so my friends and I had an all-nighter where we write one-shots. The twist is, we each wrote down on different sticky notes a character, a plotline, and I think the third is a location. We did this a year ago and I forgot all about this, but I recently found it so I'm posting it here lol

I hope you enjoy.

1145 words

Story under the cut.

Being a foreign exchange student, experiencing life in Japan was a bit of a culture shock: different introductions, different eating customs, different school traditions. One school tradition you noted was that Japan had school festival days. For the past week, your class had been working on an idea and building the vision. Today was the final day where the booths would actually be open to people and you were kind of nervous. Why? Who knows. Maybe it was more excitement than nervousness.

Your class finished assembling the booth reasonably quickly, so you figured you’d find your friend Oikawa to see if his booth needed any help. It wasn’t long before you found his booth and he was waving you down. Oikawa was one of the first people to introduce himself to you. Of course, you now realize he was just trying to scope out the new girl considering his… following, but it ended up being a good friendship; mainly consisting of you helping Iwaizumi call him names and him being a weird flirt even though he’s pretty much a dork.

“Hi, Y/n! Couldn’t stay away for long, eh?” he asked, waving.

“No, actually I’m looking for your pretty friend. Hey, Iwa!” you responded jokingly, to which Oikawa feigned a sad pout. “How’s the booth coming along?”

“We're almost done. Just need to put up the last few banners,” Iwaizumi said.

“You may want to be careful, Y/n. As soon as we open, girls will swarm the area. You might get trampled and die,”

“Yeah, I’m sure,” you said, rolling your eyes. “What are you guys doing anyway?”

“Kissing booth,” Iwaizumi said boredly as the title banner was hung up. You turned your head to Oikawa,

“What?”

“It’s the perfect concept! There's no girl in the world that wouldn’t want to kiss me! Just think of the revenue,”

“I wouldn’t count on it if it’s gonna be you, Oikawa. How is this even allowed in a school setting?”

“It’s just on the cheek. He does have a big following of girls at this school. It’s not like we can use his brain to help our booth,”

“I guess that makes sense,”

“How mean! Everyone undermines my intelligence,”

“Oh yeah, how did your game go Saturday?”

“It was fine. We won, of course, but it just felt too easy. I need a challenge in my life. You should come to my next game! You can wear one of my jerseys,”

“Hmm, tempting, but I’ll pass. Volleyball isn’t really my thing. Well, if you’re pretty much done, I’m gonna head around to look at the other booths. See ya around!”

“Bye, Y/n~!”

*

Everything looked amazing and you were having a good amount of fun before someone grabbed your shoulders from behind, making you jump. “Ya ho~!”

“Gah! Oikawa you scared me! Why would you do that?” you exclaimed and punched him in the arm.

“Ow! I can take the abuse from Iwa, but from you, it’s just too much,”

“Sorry. I saw opportunity and couldn’t resist,”

“The abuse I endure for you. Do you wanna go do something together?”

“What about your booth?”

“I’m all kissed out and on break. Girls wear a lot of lip product,” he said while rubbing some gloss and balm off his cheek. “But anyways, let’s go get some food or something. I’m so hungry,”

“I saw a teriyaki booth somewhere. Wanna get some of that? You’re paying,”

“Don’t I always?” The two of you walked the booths, trying different foods and desserts. The games were pretty fun too! It was nice playing games that weren’t rigged. You were clowning on Oikawa a bit at how much he sucked at some of the games compared to you, though you're sure he’d thrown some of your matches together. As your escapade continued, you noticed some girls you passed had their hands pressed to their cheeks while pointing and gazing at Oikawa, undoubtedly gushing over how they kissed each other on the cheek.

“I don’t understand how you can manage all the female attention. I’d get too tired of having to interact that much,”

“It does get bothersome sometimes. I used to love it, but now I think I’d prefer to have only one girl's attention, you know?”

“Ah, the development of a teenage male. From boyhood to maturity. All ready to settle down,” suddenly you gasped dramatically, almost making Oikawa drop the snacks he had bought. “A Ferris wheel! How did they get a Ferris wheel here!?”

“Y/n, I don’t think I’d trust that. It looks a little old,”

“Old shmold! Let’s go on!” Without a moment to protest you were dragging Oikawa by the hand to the big ride. “Woah! I can see the field yard from here!”

“Y/n! Please don’t lean out the side like that. You’re gonna fall!”

“Oh, you mean like this?” you asked and leaned out,”

“Y/n!” he said, reaching for you.

“What? Are you scared” you asked, and started rocking the box. He grabbed you and forced you to sit still beside him, like a mother to her rambunctious child.

“You’ve lost your fun privileges. Sit still until the ride is over,” you couldn’t help but laugh at him. You wondered if rides were a fear of his or if it was just Ferris wheels. Either way, it was fun to be out like this. You guys only ever really interacted at school during classes or studying. “Hey, Y/n. I think you should rethink going to my next game. I think I’d play better if you were there,”

“Why would you need to play better? You already win don’t you?” by this time the wheel had stopped and it was time to get off. You left the ride with a ‘thank you’ to the person running it and continued on.

“It’s less about the winning and more about… Y/n, would you just listen for a sec?” he grabbed your hand and pulled you back nearer to him. You blinked twice, looking down at where his hand didn’t leave yours.

“Kawa?” he started running his thumb over your knuckles nervously, his eyebrows knitting together in conflict.

“I want to see you at my games. I don’t care if I win, I just want to see you wearing my jersey number at my games,”

“What do you…” this wasn’t… was it?

“Earlier, I was wondering if you were gonna show up to the kissing booth at some point today. But now I’m realizing I’m glad you didn’t.”

“Wh-why?”

“Because now it feels more genuine,” he looked up at you, into your eyes, it felt invasive, uncomfortable, but not altogether unwelcomed. “Y/n. Can I kiss you?”

“I…” but the decision was clear to you then. “Yes.”

Sure enough, you were at his next game, the number one displayed proudly on your back.

[justkissmewip]

I read the intro post about this project and I was so curious, but before jumping in and reading the demo I decided to see the character post for A. And my excitement immediately died.

AI? Really?

I'm not opposed to the concept of AI alone, but right now it's just so deeply unethical. The ecological impact, the thousands and thousands of artists whose work was stolen and used to train those algorithms, sometimes leading to almost 1:1 copies of their creative work being produced and used for profit by someone else - those are all issues that are often discussed in creative spaces.

And even if you don't care about all that - how are your readers supposed to trust you? How are they supposed to trust that you're actually making what you're saying you're making instead of just feeding prompts to AI?

There are just so many ethical alternatives and some of them are even free. You could commission an artist. You could look through some archives for free use vintage illustrations of schools like the one you have in your header. You could use picrew for the character portraits to have that visualisation without reaching for AI. Some IF authors just find face claims among actors and celebrities.

It's just disappointing to see someone who's a part of this beautiful, vibrant, and creative group that is the IF writing community, use inventions that currently hurt artists all over the world.

Hmm, okay, this is a heavy one! Ha-ha, a post like this is definitely a good way to wake me up in the morning.

I want to apologize to artists on this forum (well, and all artists everywhere) for using AI art. I did it with no ill-will; I simply wanted a placeholder in the meantime so that readers could get an idea of what these characters look like. AI is a great tool for people who do not have the funds or access to other materials. But, this person makes some great points - there is a lot of uncertainty around AI, such as legality, and particularly the point about AI chatbots being trained using artists work without their permission. I really don't want to cause anyone harm, nor do I want to get into trouble honestly, so I'm going to stop using AI images from now on.

However, I do not appreciate the implication that using AI art is an automatic indication that I am using AI to generate my story and am no longer trustworthy. Writing interactive fiction is a lot of work, as I'm sure many of you know, and I take it very seriously. I want to produce the best product possible of course! So, rest assured that ChatGPT isn't currently churning out the next chapter of JKM. It wouldn't write Sawyer right anyways ;)

Art is not cheap, which makes a lot of sense, because artists deserve to be paid adequately for their work. So, I'm not going to look into art assets too much now until JKM is close to being finished, which is probably not any time soon if I'm being honest. I would rather wait and get some quality work that I think suits the characters then use anything else, especially since I personally imagine the characters in a more comic-book/anime style anyways. I apologize for that! But, the imagination is much better than any AI images I would have uploaded anyways.

To all artists, again, I am sorry! I appreciate and respect your hard work and efforts. I look forward to working with some of you as JKM progresses and I need to commission some art. Because trust me when I say I am not artistically inclined at all :).

To the person who wrote this, thank you for your great points. I can appreciate your passion about protecting artists. Hopefully you can give JKM another chance despite this setback.

Cheers,

Lucky

[a-s-levynn]

gang we are making progress! really fucking slow progress but progress none the less!

but i need a break so this is it for today

this shit is hard. i'm doing legit comic style for the first time and man i cannot even begin how alien it feels right now. but it looks so satisfying so far. to me at least.

i'm gonna try to get to finish this as soon as i can because this is really exciting to me and i don't want to abandon it.

anyway the weekend is sadly almost done but it was a fairly productive one, even if you haven't seen much of my anatomy practice. but basically i only stood up for food, toilet and i went into my workplace yesterday afternoon for a bit. Other than those, i drew almost nonstop and that was quite meditative.

i'm trying so many new things lately and enjoying it more and more. i am finally starting to see the result of the past 10 months worth of drawing.

Some of you remember that i started to draw regularly past november with the small offering series (still to be finished) and ever since i barely stopped. And i think i am seeing results finally. Not just got back to the point i was before my years long break but actually grew past it.

i still have a very long wa to go but can do things now i never before could even think of and that's just infinitely electrifying. if i could i just skip tomorrow's work and continue on this vessel piece.

also kinda funny how saying i will step away from ST fanart and the main fan space and whatnot and it took off some unknown pressure and i'm again enjoy doing it. ST fanart i mean.

anyway i rambled on long enough.

be good, love each other and i hope your day is being kind to you ♥

[hard-core-super-star]

Hi! Could you write reader having a bad day and all they want is hailee but she’s filming for something. Then hailee surprises reader by taking off early and it’s just really fluffy. Hailee comforts the reader and uses a lot of pet names :)

coming up for air [H.Steinfeld]

pairing: hailee steinfeld x reader

summary: when you're drowning under the weight of your thoughts, hailee is the life jacket that keeps you afloat.

warnings: so much fluff; mentions of anxiety (but nothing overly specific or graphic); petnames for days; abrupt start + slightly cheesy ending; too many drowning/storm metaphors

wordcount: 1.6k

a/n: i'm sorry this took so long but i hope it's everything you wanted and more! this was actually really soothing to write for me so i hope it does the same for you. [don't hesitate to send in more requests, btw!]

* * * * * * *

You lay in bed staring at the ceiling above, your thoughts moving faster than you can begin to comprehend. You’re not sure what’s wrong but you are sure that the way your heart is racing isn’t normal. It’s like you’re powerless against a growing wave of anxiety that keeps building with every second that passes.

The fact that you’re alone isn’t helping in the least but your girlfriend is busy shooting another collaboration with Core and you don’t want to interrupt her work. She’s been so excited about the opportunity and the last thing you want to do is ruin it by being clingy. So, against your common sense, you decide to stick it out by yourself, convincing yourself that you are more than capable of beating the storm of thoughts by yourself.

That is definitely easier said than done, considering how overwhelmed you feel already. A few minutes go by before the thundering silence of the room is interrupted.

You almost jump out of your skin when you hear the familiar sound of your phone ringing. You immediately recognize the ringtone as Hailee’s and your heart drops down to your stomach.

If you were feeling like your normal self, you would be filled with excitement at the idea of getting to talk to your girlfriend. Instead, you’re filled with a sense of dread and anxiety as you begin to rack your brain for the excuses you’ll need for your girlfriend’s inevitable questions.

You sit up in bed and hesitate for a few seconds before grabbing your phone. A loud sigh escapes your lips before you gather your courage and answer the FaceTime call from your girlfriend. “Hi, Haiz. How’s the shoot going?”

You hope she’ll go into detail about her day so you don’t have to talk about yours or the storm of doubt raging through your head.

“It’s going great!” She replies, an excited grin on her face. “Everyone’s been so nice and the pictures all look amazing. I can’t wait for you to see the finished product.”

You give her the most authentic smile you can muster. “I’m glad to hear that, babe.”

A beat of silence goes by while her eyes look you over. You already know what she’s going to say before she opens her mouth. “What’s wrong?”

“Can’t a girl just miss her girlfriend?” You say while you turn your head to the side a little in an attempt to hide the deception behind your words.

“Baby, why are you lying to me?" Her eyebrows furrow, clearly not believing you.

"I'm not," you reply, willing your voice not to crack. "I'm just tired."

She doesn’t immediately reply and you feel far too exposed as her brown eyes stare right through you and your unconvincing lies. Even over the phone, Hailee is far too good at reading you. “Listen, you can tell me whatever it is that’s bothering you. I’m always here for you, y/n.”

Any other day, her words would be reassuring but today, they make all sorts of insecurities rise up within you. You’re not sure why pushing Hailee away seems to be the best idea to your overwhelmed brain but you don’t have the strength to fight back against it.

“I know, Haiz. But I’m fine. You don’t have to worry about me, I know you’re busy.” Your voice holds more exhaustion than bitterness but you can tell your words hurt her just the same. You feel the guilt rise up within you at the sight and the only thought in your mind is leaving before you make everything worse. “I’m going to go take a nap, okay? Call me if you need something.”

You don’t give her a chance to reply, your thumb pressing the red ‘end call’ button almost as soon as the words escape your mouth. Nothing about what you just did takes away the guilty feelings or the overwhelming sense of panic settled deep in your chest. If anything, they reinforce the doubts that won’t leave your brain alone.

You throw your phone somewhere on the bed before laying back down on your side. You’re not sure how much time you spend like that, curled up on your side and succumbing to the negative voices in your brain.

You’re so caught up in your own head, you don’t hear the sound of the door opening.

You do, however, notice the way the bed shifts and the arm that wraps itself around you. “Hi, baby.”

You almost break down crying just from the sound of her voice. A few seconds of silence go by as you try to regain control of yourself and your thoughts.

When you finally do speak, your voice comes out quiet and shaky. "You're back early."

"My girlfriend needed me," she replies as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

She doesn't say anything else but the arm around your waist tightens its hold on you and you can feel the soft kisses she presses to the back of your shoulder. She doesn't need words to comfort you and with every kiss she presses to your skin, the more weight that falls off your tense shoulders.

A long time goes by before she eventually speaks again. Her voice is barely above a whisper when she does. Almost as if she’s afraid of scaring you away. "What's wrong, love?'

You shrug, not fully able to put what you're feeling into words. It's like everything is wrong and yet nothing is wrong at the same time. Hailee waits patiently for you to gather your thoughts, her fingers gently running through your hair.

"It's just…everything is so…loud and heavy…" You trail off, frustrated at your inability to explain what’s going on with you.

Your girlfriend came back home early for you and you can’t even give her a good explanation why. You’re just wasting her time.

Like always.

The brunette speaks up, almost as if she knows exactly the kind of thoughts that are running through your head. “It’s okay, baby. I know what you mean. You don’t have to worry, alright? I’m here.”

“I’m sorry,” you whisper. You can already feel the tears filled with burning shame gathering in your y/e/c eyes.

“Don’t apologize.” Her tone has a firm edge to it even though it remains soft. “It's okay not to be okay sometimes, y/n.”

“But it's so stupid-” You take in a shaky breath as your voice cracks under the weight of it all. “I made you come back early and I don't even know what's wrong.”

“Baby, baby, listen to me: you didn't make me do anything. I did it because I wanted to. Because you're important to me.” The kisses to your shoulder make a comeback, the touch of her lips against your overheated skin helping to ground you a little. “You're the most important person in my life. Don't doubt that, okay?”

You let out a little hum to let her know you heard her but you don’t respond with anything else, your brain already getting to work on contradicting your girlfriend’s words. Your thoughts are moving at lightning speed, each one louder and more intense than the last.

You don’t realize you’re shaking until Hailee speaks again, her voice as soft as ever.

“y/n? Can you turn around for me, darling?”

You let out a little groan at the question. The thought of turning around and facing those soft brown eyes of hers seems almost impossible to fulfill right now.

Hailee’s fingers draw random shapes on your arm while you gather yourself. It takes a few more seconds before you give in to both her wishes and your need for reassurance.

Her hold on you loosens while you turn around to face her and you feel incredibly small as her eyes look down at your face. You don't know where the sudden burst of insecurity comes from but you do know its effects are clear on your features.

"It's okay, darling. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere." She grabs one of your hands and places it on her chest, right on top of her beating heart. “You feel that? As long as I’m alive, this heart will always beat for you.”

“What about after life?” You ask, the ghost of a smile on your lips as you reference her song.

Her eyes seem to glow at your words. “I’ll stay yours even when my heartbeat stops, baby. You don’t have to worry about that.”

“Promise?”

“Promise,” she replies with a small nod. “I love you, y/n. Nothing will ever change that.”

She leans down to press a soft kiss onto your forehead while you keep your hand on her chest, using that touch to bring yourself out of your thoughts and into the present moment.

Hailee keeps up the soft kisses, slowly moving down your face while you focus on your breathing. She doesn’t rush you in any way as she goes. The silence between the two of you continues for a while until you eventually manage to gather yourself again.

“Thank you.” Your voice is barely above a whisper, the exhaustion clear in your voice.

She leans back a little with a small smile on her face. Her eyes search your expression for any lingering signs of anxiety as she speaks. “You don’t have to thank me, love. Are you feeling better?”

You hum in reply. “Yeah…I don’t…know what that was about.”

“That’s okay, baby.” She gives the tip of your nose a quick kiss, unable to hide how happy she is that you’re okay again. “I’m just glad you made it back to me.”

“Always.” You offer her a shaky smile before you scoot forward a little, your head slotting itself underneath your girlfriend’s chin. She holds you close and your eyes flutter shut as you’re filled with a deep sense of peace. A feeling you haven’t had all day. “I love you, Lee.”

She lets out a soft sigh, her eyes falling shut as well. “I’ve got you, y/n. And I’m never letting go.”

[destinedfordiaperstories]

Sammy's Little Problem, Chapter 15

Chapter Fourteen here.

It took a second for Sammy to comprehend how huge Littles’R’Us actually was when they pulled into the parking lot. It made Costco seem small by comparison. This wasn’t going to be a quick trip.

Sammy took a deep breath, trying to not feel so overwhelmed. She couldn’t help but notice Allie was treating her much more like a Little than ever before. Movie night now felt like a lifetime ago. She still didn’t feel like a Little. She felt the same as she did the day she received the news.

Just…with much less bathroom control. And did get a bit sleepier around midday and around 8 PM, and, she had to admit, did have to work harder than usual to not be emotionally overwhelmed. But still, adjusting to being treated like a Little was harder than she expected.

“You ready, Sammy?”

“Do I have a choice?”

Alyssa laughed, “well I guess not, no. But I want you to stay close to me, this store is huge and I don’t want you getting lost, okay? I want you to hold my hand or the cart at all times.”

“I’m not a baby,” Sammy huffed.

“I never said you were, Sammy. I just don’t want you getting lost. What would you do if you got lost? You don’t have the keys to the car. You don’t have a cellphone to call me. What would you do?”

“Well, I would have my cell phone if you didn’t take it away!” Sammy retorted.

“We went over this, Sammy,” Alyssa said sternly, “you don’t need a cellphone like you had. We can get you one designed for Littles in the future, but I don’t want you surfing the web and getting into trouble.”

Sammy stuck her tongue out Allie before she realized she was doing it. Her face flushed with embarrassment.

“Well, that is a great point there, Sammy!” Allie laughed, “now can you hold my hand?”

Sammy did. They walked into the store. It was hard to fathom how large it was. There seemed to be endless rows of Little’s products of all levels. It was so big, Alyssa grabbed a map before heading to the counter.

“Hello,” the woman at the counter said nicely, “how can I help you today?”

“We’re here to get everything set up for my new Little, Sammy,” Alyssa responded.

“What a cutie!” the woman said looking down at Sammy, “the first trip is always so exciting! You get to pick out everything your heart desires, little one!”

Sammy couldn’t bring herself to respond. Instead, she hid behind Alyssa in embarrassment.

“She’s still a bit shy,” Alyssa acknowledged.

“Well, that’s perfectly fine!,” she said to Sammy before turning back to Alyssa, “I can get you set up, did you bring the paperwork from the Littles Registration Office?”

“Yep, right here.”

“Perfect. Okay. So I see Sammy here is a Level Two Little. Most of the L2 supplies are down towards the back. Just head straight down and you can’t miss it. You’ll find the diaper aisle on the way, as well as any of the products that are appropriate for both L1s and L2s, such as bottles, sippy cups, and diaper bags.”

“Great,” Alyssa replied, “but these shopping carts don’t seem big enough to carry everything, though.”

“Whoops, I almost forgot! You’ll use this scanner here to select any of the bigger items you’d want. We offer same day delivery and installation if you finish before noon, which gives you three and a half hours, plenty of time. For things like diapers, you can put some in your cart, but the rest you can scan in and we’ll delivery them along with any furniture. And everything you scan will be added up and once you get to the checkout, the government rebate will automatically deduct from the total and you can pay the difference, if any, there.”

“Thank you so much,” Alyssa says as the woman gives her the scanner, “I think we can figure it out from here!”

Alyssa grabs a cart. “Okay, Sammy, you ready to start?”

“I-I guess,” Sammy whimpers.

Unsurprisingly, the diaper section is huge. There are diapers of every size, thickness, color, interest.

“It look’s like the L2 diapers are a few rows down,” Allie says, consulting the map.

“What’s the difference between L1 and L2 diapers, Allie?”

“Well, L1s and L2s have different needs. Remember, L1s aren’t able to walk or talk, so their diapers need to be different than for L2s. L1 diapers are way thicker since they don’t need to worry about walking. They’re so cute though. I’m sure we could get you some!”

“Sammy laughs nervously, “I think that’s okay, Allie.”

“Well, if you change your mind, let me know!”

They get to the L2 diaper aisles. Sammy sees there are three sections: Daytime Diapers, Nighttime Diapers, and Swim Diapers. Each design had a diaper on display, to let the Littles get a better idea of each design.

“Okay, lets start with daytime diapers,” Allie says, “which ones do you like best, Sammy?”

Sammy’s stomach sank at the question. This made it feel so real. She was going to pick out the diapers she’d wear for the rest of her life.

“I-I don’t know,” Sammy whispers.

Allie pulls Sammy in for a hug. “It’s a lot, I understand, Sammy. But would you rather have me pick out boring, ugly diapers? If you’re going to wear them anyway, you might as choose the ones that match your style!”

Sammy doubted diapers would ever match anyone’s “style,” especially not hers. As she looked around, she definitely didn’t think anyone of these diapers would do that. All of them were in sickening pastel colors or complete with babyish cartoon patterns on them. She started walking down the aisle, seeing her options.

“Look at this one, Sammy!” Allie encouraged, “these one’s have astronauts and these one’s have rockets on them!”

Alyssa knew it was a mistake as soon as she said it. Sure, they did make the most sense for Sammy, but maybe it was still a bit too soon for Sammy to want them.

Sammy teared up almost immediately. It was one thing to go from an adult to a Little, but going from potentially being a rocket scientist, to wearing rockets on her diaper was just too much. Tears welled in Sammy’s eyes.

“I’m sorry, Sammy, I should have known that was a stupid suggestion! I didn’t mean to upset you!”

“It’s not fair!” Sammy whined, “I don’t want to wear diapers with rockets on them, I want to work on rockets! I want to go home!”

Alyssa kicked herself. She should know how to not set off her own Little’s tantrums, even if this was so new. “Sammy, please, everything is okay. Come here.”

“No!” Sammy shrilled defiantly, stomping her feet, “I won’t do it! I won’t choose a diaper! I won’t be a Little! I won’t I won’t I won’t!”

Sammy’s screams echoed across the store, drawing sympathetic looks from other Caregivers. Alyssa stood there, unsure how to help Sammy.

“It’s okay you’re upset, Sammy. It’s okay to be angry. I know you don’t want to be wearing diapers. These are big emotions, it’s perfectly fine to feel them. But right now you need to choose some, okay? It’s not up for debate.”

Sammy looked mutinous. “I’m not a baby! You can’t make me!”

Alyssa sighed. “Sammy, now is not the time for screaming. I understand you’re frustrated, honey. But you need to calm down and explain to me how you’re feeling, alright? You cannot scream like this in public. Can you take a deep breath for me, Sammy?”

It took a few more stomps, but eventually Sammy gave in and took a deep breath.

“Thank you, Sammy. You’re doing great. Now let all your anger and frustration out as you breathe out, okay? Nice job. One more time. Good girl, Sammy. Now, can you tell me how you’re feeling?”

Sammy took a few steadying breaths. As she did, she felt herself calm down, regaining the clarity she had before. “I-I’m sorry, Allie! Sometimes it feels like I lose control and just want to cry and scream, I don’t know w-what’s happening to me.”

“I understand, Sammy, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

“But we can’t yell and scream when that happens, can we? We need to talk about our feelings before they explode, okay?”

“Y-you’re right, Allie.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, Sammy. Just promise when you start to feel overwhelmed, you’ll tell me, okay?”

“Okay…”

“Thank you, Sammy. That’s very mature of you. Now, can you help me choose some diapers?”

“Yeah, I can, Allie,” Sammy says, looking back at the rocket ship diapers, “I actually do want them, Allie. I want to see them so I’ll always remember my goal, to be the first Little rocket scientist ever!"

Go to Chapter Sixteen.

[tf2-retail-au]

Mick keeps to himself. He likes it that way. When he's like the side character in a sitcom tv show who only shows up for comedic effect due to his lack of personality. He feels unseen, and he likes to keep it that way. Just mopping up spills like it's what he's been doing his whole life. Clocking out at a normal time, locking the store up for the night, before getting into his van parked behind the store, going to sleep there before he has to open back up again.

Carmichael loves attention. No matter how humiliating or rude, they love when people laugh around him, or feel good enough to smile around him. He sells a bottle of whiskey or wine to their final costumer, then, gets ready to leave himself. He gets to his locker, looking at a picture of their blind mother back in Scotland. At least she looks like she's having a good time in the picture, her bright smile against the gray sky like a testament. "Fuck with me clouds, I'll still shine brighter than that damn sun." He glances at the sheathed sword in the corner, a faint green glow emitting between the leather. They've had that sword for as long as he could remember. Which wasn't long because he could barely remember his childhood and teen years. The glow reflected off his one eye slightly. They sighed, closing his locker once he grabbed his bag, slinging it over his shoulder. They pulled out their wallet, glancing into it and smiling, then put it back into his pocket as he walked out.

However... today was different. For both of them. It was Wednesday.

Mick felt a little different on Wednesday's. He felt more productive, more willing to work. Maybe not more likely to socialize, but there's a higher chance of him being nice for once instead of snarky. He cleaned more messes, putting things back in their correct spot instead of wherever he found them, saying things like "excuse me" when moving around to clean, and he actually puts up the wet floor signs. This wasn't because he had a sudden boost of respect for his job, oh no, he still hated being there and being around people, but on Wednesdays... there was something special on Wednesdays...

Carmichael acted much more nice on Wednesdays, even if they were already bubbly on most days. He greeted costumers buying alcohol, asking them how their day was, the usual, but he just seemed much more... excited. Much more willing to hear peoples lives and how they're doing. He's made a couple close friends from doing that, but nothing could be as close to them as the special thing that happens on Wednesdays...

Mick is in the bathroom, combing his hair for once, while he brushes his teeth. Bad tasting water or not, he's cleaned this sink too many times to count before he used it, so he knows it's clean. He spits, continues to brush, gets some water on the toothbrush, and continues to clean. Once he's done with that, he flosses, sprays some mint spray into his mouth, and does a breath test. If his breath still smells bad, he sprays more into his mouth until he's choking and probably almost dead. He washes his face, then leaves, locking the bathroom doors, before shutting off the store lights and locking up for the night. He practically sprints to his van to hopefully get some cooking in before the special part of Wednesday... Carmichael freshens up near his locker, putting their best beanie on, adjusting his eyepatch carefully and precisely, fixing it just right on his face and securing a makeshift boetie. He sprayed cologne, the nicest smelling one he had, on, grabbed the best bottle of wine he could buy (steal) from the store, and left as soon as possible. As he got into his car, he took a deep breath. He's done this so many times before, and yet it always feels like the first every Wednesday. They started the car and drove out of the stores parking lot, he went left instead of right, going the long way. To where? Why, to the RED store, of course...

Mick finished cooking a quick meal of spaghetti, as well as a side of salad, dishing them out on a makeshift table as he heard a knock on the outside of his vans door. Three quick knocks, one two three, just like last Wednesday and the Wednesday before. He opened it after taking a deep breath, and grinned at the sight of that eyepatch.

"Evenin' Mick." -🧨 "Evenin', Car." -🎯

[byoldervine]

What I’ve learned from a year of writing goals

My New Years’ Resolutions for 2024 were all related to my writing, and I’m pleased to say that I completed most of them. They all taught me new things about myself as a writer so I thought I’d share them in an end-of-year round up. I’ll go over each one and what it taught me

Goal 1: Write at least 1000 words every week ✅

This was the main goal I had, and the intention behind it was to make sure I was writing consistently, and therefore making consistent progress. Even if I wrote the minimum for each week, that’d still be 52K words written during the year - and that’s guaranteed, not a few thousand cranked out all at once until I’m burnt out followed by months of inactivity

I found that watching my word count increase so often was actually really motivating for me personally, though I’d expected it to be more daunting at first. And some days I’d write a lot more than just the 1K, which was even more exciting. I remember one day I was so excited and inspired for one particular chapter that I cranked out the entire thing in one go, and that was so much fun. Other days I’d be struggling to even get through the 1000 words because I just wasn’t inspired or motivated enough, or I’d have writer’s block

What I found helped get over this was knowing I didn’t have to necessarily like what I wrote, just that I had to meet 1000 words by the end of the week, so I’d always sit down for a proper writing session every Monday morning - if I couldn’t get over a mental block, I had plenty of time to set it aside and come back another day before the deadline came up. Usually, however, I’d complete it all in one sitting, which was another really motivating thing. I could then spend the rest of the week doing other things so I wouldn’t get burnt out on writing or worrying about not being productive enough

One downside I did encounter was that, once I’d complete the goal for the week, I’d not want to go back to it until the next week rolled around - it almost felt like it wasn’t worth starting a new writing session if it wouldn’t contribute to the goal. That’s something I’d like to counter in future by coming up with further incentives for additional writing sessions or going over the goal

Goal 2: Have a draft of 90K+ words by the end of the year ✅

I chose 90K as my desired word count because fantasy novels usually have a 90K word count on the low end, so it seemed sensible to aim for that. I started the year with around 45K words - meaning my goal was for an additional 45K and therefore very much achievable in 52 weeks - and now I’m ending it on 110K, making for a difference of around 65,000 words

I think it was around September that I reached 90K, and I was so excited about it; I’d already completed one of my goals and it wasn’t even close to the deadline. But there was something strange going on at this point in time; I’d reached one of my word count goals, but I wasn’t even close to finishing the story yet. Even now I can’t say that I’m even quite in the end game yet. I ended up writing a lot more than I planned - and that’s okay, because it’s only a first draft right now, and because of that I want to focus more on quantity than quality

I think having this goal was really motivating while it was in effect, because seeing myself getting closer and closer to that seemingly unattainable number was exciting and made me feel really proud of myself. I think reaching that goal a lot sooner than I planned taught me a lot about how I’m more capable than I previously thought, and that I should give myself more credit and trust myself to overcome more daunting challenges. This goal gave me a lot more confidence in my process

Goal 3: Finish the first draft by the end of the year ❌

This was the only goal that I wasn’t able to complete; I’m still a good few chapters away from finishing the draft

I think what influenced this the most was my pacing; as time went on and I began to write more for quantity than quality, and new plots and subplots were hitting different beats, the pacing began to fluctuate and I became more heavy on the description. I also wanted to ensure I added plenty of downtime for the characters to break apart the constant calamity and busywork and, well, they have a lot of walking to do as they travel, so it was easy to throw in around the main plot

I’m not disappointed about failing this goal because it means that I’ve taken the time to put real effort into my work rather than rushing it to meet some deadline, as well as given myself a lot to work with when editing and improving. Unlike with the 90K goal, I’d much rather fail to meet the deadline than succeed with months to spare. I’ve still gotten significantly far in this time, and I’m proud of myself for putting in so much effort, and I think having additional goals beyond just ‘finish everything by X time’ helps with that; I can still see how far I’ve come and how much I’ve accomplished via the other goals that encourage me to take my time

I still absolutely want to complete the draft, and coming as far as I have is further motivation to get it done. There’s something really special about working so hard for so long on something but still finding that joy and excitement to continue rather than burnout, and it’s not something I’m all that used to experiencing. By now I’ve usually grown tired of a project and left it, but I’m still going strong with this one and I’m still incredibly passionate about it. And I think that having this goal only to not quite meet it is helping me to appreciate this; I’m not upset about it, but actually looking forward to having further opportunities to continue. I really should stop calling it ‘failing’, since I count this as an overall win even if I didn’t make the deadline

What I’ve learned

I think persevering with these goals in mind all year has been very eye-opening for me as to how I like to progress with my writing; I can be consistent, I can get more done than I think, I can be excited about a project even after a whole year of ‘making myself’ write. These goals have boosted my confidence not only in my abilities to write, but as a writer

I love my story and my characters, and coming back to them so often and so frequently has been a blessing in getting to know them and reaffirming just how wonderful the writing process is. When I love what I’m writing, I can churn out a lot at once, and that didn’t impact my ability to come back and keep writing more, though I thought it would. I was also consistently getting a sense of accomplishment from meeting my weekly word counts, updating my word count every chapter, etc, which made the process feel rewarding and something I could take pride in. It felt big and productive, but the process stayed just as simple as always, even if it wasn’t always as easy

Based on everything, one thing I want to improve upon in future is ensuring that I continue to write even when it won’t contribute to a weekly word count. Setting additional goals or otherwise incentivising additional writing sessions is something I want to experiment with with any future attempts at these goals

[mikefaistslut]

anything for you

chapter 1:

(A mike faist fanfic set in spring 2023, as mike is headed to london for the summer to star in Brokeback Mountain. He meets a girl on the plane there, Emma. He falls in love with Emma instantly. Read more to see how their story unfolds. <3)

Disclaimer: this is entirely a work a fiction and has nothing whatsoever to actually do with mike faist.

Rolling out of bed at what I thought was around six in the morning, I began to get dressed and prepare myself for how anxious the airport was going to make me. I’d never been a good flier, especially on flights that lasted longer than a couple of hours. Today, I was set to leave on a 9 hour and 50 minute flight from Columbus, Ohio to London at 10am. This trip was my gift to myself. I’d always wanted to go to London and do every lame tourist activity that I’d always seen in the movies. I wanted to stand outside the gates at Buckingham Palace, attend a service at Westminster Abbey, take a ride on the London Eye, maybe even fall in love with an adorable English man and never go back home to Ohio. I’d been saving for this trip since I got my first job at fifteen. I’d imagine what it felt like to walk through Hyde Park and see a play on the west end while I scooped an ungodly amount of ice cream for strangers.

The hardest part is surviving the flight there. I made sure to get up insanely early and have some me-time before the flight to try and relax myself as much as possible. After fixing myself a cup of coffee and scrolling through my phone for a solid 15 minutes or so, I decided to take a hot shower. This would be an everything shower, seeing that there's no way I could bring along my arsenal of bath products. But I let myself take it slow. After I finished washing and conditioning my hair, I shaved, scrubbed, and exfoliated every inch of my body. I loved the way it felt to be clean and smooth. Especially clean. I had to be clean to feel like my best self and I had to feel like my best self to be relaxed enough to not have an absolute meltdown on this almost ten hour flight I was scheduled to be on. 

By 7:30, I was all ready to go with an uber waiting outside to take me to the airport. I had two weeks worth of clothes, my favorite blanket and pillow in my carry-on, and most importantly, my anti-anxiety medication for when I inevitably begin to panic as soon as the plane door shuts. I was anxious, but also so overwhelmingly excited. I wasn’t going to let my anxiety stand in the way of the trip I’ve been fantasizing about for almost ten years. Not when I was so close. 

Flying wasn’t a new experience to me. There’d been plenty of times when I was a kid that I went on flights with my family, mostly to visit my grandparents in Florida. But this was different. This was around the world. Flying to London also meant going through customs, which was an entirely foreign concept to me. But I was there and I was ready. First things first, I thought to myself as I made my way to my gate after going through TSA, a snack. I bought a latte and a ridiculously overpriced bag of chips and made my way back to my gate to get comfortable. I still had about 30 minutes until my flight was supposed to begin boarding, so I put on my headphones and played some soft music on my phone. Everything was going to be okay, I kept telling myself. It is so incredibly unlikely that my plane is going to crash, I just need to keep myself distracted and everything will be just fine. 

Those 30 minutes went by faster than I expected, and it was time to board. I gathered my things and made my way to the gate. 

“Excuse me! I think you left this behind.” I turned around to the most beautiful face I think I’ve ever seen. Beautiful blue eyes, thin, almond-shaped eyes and a jawline that was so perfectly sculpted. In a hurry to board, I’d left behind my carry-on bag that contained all my essentials. Phone charger, comfort pillow and blanket and anti-anxiety meds. 

“Oh, thank you so much!” And then I thought about it. “How’d you know it was mine?” I asked the handsome stranger. 

“Oh, it just seems to match the rest of your luggage, I guess.” I had a sense that he’d maybe looked my way a couple of times while also waiting to board the plane. Even if I was being totally delusional, it was a nice confidence boost to assume that’s what happened. 

“Right! Well thank you. You boarding this flight too?” 

“Yeah, actually. After you.” He motioned in the direction of the gate attendant waiting patiently for us both to present our boarding pass and board the plane. Without looking behind me, I walked past the gate and down the long hallway to board the plane into business class to find my seat. I splurged a little and went one step past economy class. I had a lot of time to plan and save, you see. As I settled into my seat, I popped an anti-anxiety pill immediately. If I needed to later, I was also going to take a sleeping pill to hopefully make the flight go as fast as possible. As I was taking my pillow and blanket out of my bag to get comfy and settle in for the long plane ride ahead of me, I looked up to see that gorgeous stranger again. 

“Looks like we’ll be getting to know each other a little better.” He smiles as he sits down in the seat right next to mine. He’s so close I can smell his expensive cologne and I wonder how I got so lucky. 

“I’m Mike, by the way.”

[mmcgemino]

How I almost went on stage with Gene Simmons (and also a heavy vent)

Today was the first day of Summer Breeze here in Brasil and Gene’s on the headline. I traveled 8 hours just to see him and Sebastian Bach play. I was so excited to see them and my mind was set on giving Gene a poster and a letter. I really wanted to give him a piece of my work and say how much KISS changed my life.

There was going to be a signing session at 3pm and when arrived there at 11am there was already a line. No problem for me, honestly, I could wait. But then somebody from the staff told us that the time changed for 7pm. I didn’t want the whole day of festival + Sebastian’s show, so I gave up on that.

Sebastian Bach’s show was amazing (I even got an autograph!). It was kinda short but I still had a lot of fun. Next would be Mr. Big (that I didn’t bother to watch) and then, finally, Gene’s band.

God, I was right in front of him. LITERALLY. This was my view the whole show:

I was SO close from the stage, already at the barrier (is that the right name in english?) It was actually funny, because the first thing he did when he finished the first song was to point at me and say with eyes wide opened: sua bunda é linda! That’s a silly thing he says every time he’s in Brasil. (There’s a video of him saying it on a tv show just for reference). I also had some silly interactions with him, like me motion grabbing his tits and him looking shocked. Honestly, if the show ended like that it would be just fine. I’ve never been this close to someone who’s so important to me, much less recognizing my presence and being silly with me. Hell, I didn’t even care about my letter anymore. It was a kick ass show.

But in the last song (that was obviously Rock n Roll All Night), he started calling a lot of girls on stage. There were some in front of me, between the tiny gap separating the stage from the fans. I guess they were sponsors, photographers or idk, more than VIP. But then he pointed at me and called me!!! What ??!????? It sounds just like a fanfic, unbelievable. And I swear on all my family that I ain’t lying. I crossed that barrier with the help of other people and ran backstage.

To have Gene pointing at YOU and calling YOU to be on stage with him is once in a lifetime. To be ON STAGE, my literal dream and goal in life. What I’ve been working for the past couple of years. To have the chance to give my letter to him and even sing by his side. With Gene fucking Simmons from KISS, my favorite band.

But when I got backstage, they told me that I couldn’t go. “There’s too many girls there.” I was the last one he picked and the only one who didn’t make it. I begged that guy, not from Gene’s production but from the event. I even cried. The securities around me were sorry but if I didn’t leave, their jobs would be on the line. I couldn’t even see the man leave the stage. I couldn’t even see the show end.

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do from now on. There’s nothing to say, no consolation prize, nothing. “But there will be other shows, other opportunities”, that’s the kind of bullshit that I had to hear. No, there won’t be another Gene Simmons in Brasil calling me to be on stage. My life could have been changed forever.

I was never lucky, never won any raffles or had accomplished great achievements in life. In my letter, the first thing I wrote (as cheesy as it is) “If you’re reading this, everything is possible”. I also wrote how KISS literally changed my life when I went on their last tour here in Brasil, how they took me out of a really bad place and made me run after my dreams. It seems silly, part of me feels like an idiot to be that sad. But I just can’t get over this, can’t have any consolation on that. To be always “almost there” but never actually “there”.

Also, this is the poster I wanted to give him:

The quality is crap and I definitely could do better if I had more time. But I gave my all making it.

Sorry for the long post and the crappy sob story. This just happened like 2 hours ago and everything is still fresh. I decided to write this post because I wanted to share my frustration with people who understand that it was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

(Fun fact his pants were tearing up but nobody told him)

[goodluckclove]

ok ok ok Clove i need to know: who are some of the best writers here in your opinion ? who do i need to follow if i want to follow the next generation of great writers ? i need new blogs to follow

oh shit let's party.

first off i can't say that i know all the best writers here. i'm still learning! also, maybe i like things you don't. the usual disclaimer. but i'll still take the chance to rave about some of the immense brilliance of some of my colleagues on here!

first of is @ivaspinoza, who is the first person to send me her writing the very first time i asked. she writes the most beautiful, almost prophetic word pieces. not quiet prose, not entirely poetry. it's language you can really seep yourself in like a heated milk bath. she's working on a longform vampire novel in the same style which i have seen snippets of and it is truly incredible. love her dearly.

i'm actually in the middle of Song of the Heartless by @rkmoon, because he was hesitating to post it and i harassed him into sending it to me. and oh man, it's great. really solid premise and a world that feels vibrant and expansive and also shit because it's kind of dystopian and the vibes are not great. obviously as another aspec writer i love the representation. it's great to read yourself on the page and still see your struggles draped in thematic excitement. i can't say any more without spoiling it but i really want to. this could easily be a fucking great movie adaptation.

i feel insane pointing you towards @godsmostfuckedupgoblin because he doesn't really post his writing as far as i know but he's got some of the best mastery of dialogue i've seen in non-published writing and his excerpts are always so exciting and fun to read. maybe if enough people him to share more he will but until then his memes are lit as a child has once said before.

@stajorathefallen is working on a longform Lord of the Rings fic that is truly beautiful. I would rather read this finished product than the actual Lord of the Rings. I don't know if she'll find that a compliment or a war crime, but it's just nicer. It feels warm and cozy to read. I actually don't even know if it's referenced the original canon at all since I saw the movies but didn't pay attention. I was not qualified to look at this fic but I got to anyway and it's great.

@cssnder is someone else who doesn't post enough writing, but my hope is with enough confidence she'll branch more into sharing. Literally every time she drops a line everyone's like huh?? wow!! and then she whispers a thanks and disappears back into the catacombs. if you like dark academia based on tiktok you should follow her to see what those tiktoks wish they could capture.

this is obviously not everyone. these are not even all the people that sent me writing to look at. i have two separate emails that i still need to marry, some people are still in the egg-cracking stage of being a writer, and my adderal can only do so much. if you aren't one of these people just know that you are amazing and you need to post more of your work so i can point people to your page please thank you i love you.