#that didn't quite land for me which is such a bummer.

[mlobsters]

supernatural s8e23 sacrifice (w. jeremy carver)

are we gonna make nic cry (it's a low bar but s7 finale managed to not make it)

JODY It's not a date till I've cried.

we're definitely leaning into full on bad guy crowley this season. i liked when he was more ambiguous. maybe he'll help, maybe he'll fuck everyone over. dragging jody into it, now. all right

not me feeling more emotional about bobby's scrapyard than i did about seeing actual-bobby again

CROWLEY Nice try, squirrel. Moose is doing these trials. Moose signs. DEAN No, no. He's not signing anything until I read the fine print. [SAM yanks the pen from DEAN] SAM I can read it. DEAN Hey, you wanted me here. I'm here. But I'll be damned if I'm gonna let him screw us even more. CROWLEY What's this? Trouble in paradise, boys?

crowley's turning into a bit of a caricature. too much of a good thing maybe

DEAN I can do this all day, 'cause you know what? Damn, it feels good! But sooner or later, you're gonna have to face it -- you're ours. Which means that your demon ass is going to be a mortal ass pretty damn quick. CROWLEY [to SAM] What's he mouthing on about? SAM You're the third trial, Crowley.

a) ignoring any bitch implications b) you know i really dislike torture but even i got a little vicarious satisfaction from dean punching him c) i've got a hodgepodge of demon dean/mark of cain nebulous plot awareness that's on the horizon but no idea how they come to pass, so my mind keeps wandering wondering if this or that is related. focus!

CASTIEL Yes. Would you say that you're looking for, uh, a partner in crime... ...or, uh, someone who's into nurse role-play and light domination? DWIGHT Brother, it's 10:00 a.m. on a Tuesday.

sir, this is a wendy's

lovely shot but it feels like the shiny happy people version of s1 true detective which is on the brain because of this video of a deleted scene i posted a bit ago which is just (gorgeous) extended moody atmospheric location shots of coastal louisiana set to appropriate music

SAM Honestly, for the first time in a long time, it feels like we're gonna win. I'm good.

TAKE IT BACK, SAM.

dean's just trying to help!

the sick damp puppy look is just too precious for words. dean, give him a hug and some soup

lovely lovely. even more true detective s1 vibes (that season of that show was one of the most beautiful things... southern gothic atmospherics off the charts. ugh. i made an edit with it and hannibal because the rust cohle is will graham is rust cohle of it all)

true detective s1e2 seeing things

DEAN Anything? You've been gone long enough. CASTIEL No. There was one female, but... DEAN What? CASTIEL ...I don't think she was female

heavy sigh. transphobic jokes are evergreen

followed up by dean being flabbergasted for .. 10 seconds? that the cupid love match thing was two men. fuck you, show. i know, it's nothing new. but back to back, i'm exponentially annoyed

and i'm so disinterested in this heaven business i'd never looked up naomi's actress. she was sam carter on sg1! totally did not recognize her without the blonde hair. i didn't watch a ton of sg1 but enough to be quite familiar with the mains

stargate sg-1 amanda tapping as samantha carter

anyway. back to sam being half dead and abaddon smoking out (was it red? they did this with crowley too and i wasn't sure it wasn't just the lighting on the black smoke)

again the twilight/zombie looks good on him

this crowley thing.. this whole girls (tv series) speech his voice is higher pitched and the accent changed? what is going on

and are we supposed to be feeling something about crowley crying and wanting help from sam with asking for forgiveness? the time given his speech and music says yes, but my brain says excuse me what now. offering his neck up like bella, mushy music swells

DEAN Metatron lied. You finish this trial, you're dead, Sam. SAM So?

glad i knew that was coming

okay so i've watched this whole church scene several times now trying to figure out why it's not hitting any emotional buttons. padalecki is working his ass off and doing amazing and i'm getting nothing from jackles, subsequently i'm feeling not much of anything. did they break my emotions? which is extra weird because the text of this conversation is like.. romantic catnip? should be breaking and remaking my heart and yet...? just for a hint at the end the music reminded me of the expanse and THAT made me feeling a little something. so, like a broken record, i'm blaming this partially on the musical score.

SAM Look at him. Look at him! Look how close we are! Other people will die if I don't finish this! DEAN Think about it. Think about what we know, huh? Pulling souls from hell, curing demons, hell, ganking a Hellhound! We have enough knowledge on our side to turn the tide here. But I can't do it without you. SAM You can barely do it with me. I mean, you think I screw up everything I try. You think I need a chaperone, remember? DEAN Come on, man. That's not what I meant. SAM No, it's exactly what you meant. You want to know what I confessed in there? What my greatest sin was? It was how many times I let you down. I can't do that again. DEAN Sam -- SAM [beginning to cry] What happens when you've decided I can't be trusted again? I mean, who are you gonna turn to next time instead of me? Another angel, another -- another vampire? Do you have any idea what it feels like to watch your brother just –

like this really should be stabbing me in the gut and it's just not and it is such a shame because really, padalecki is doing so good with it. damnit, show, what did you do

DEAN Hold on, hold on! You seriously think that? Because none of it -- none of it -- is true. Listen, man, I know we've had our disagreements, okay? Hell, I know I've said some junk that set you back on your heels. But, Sammy...come on. I killed Benny to save you. I'm willing to let this bastard and all the sons of bitches that killed mom walk because of you. Don't you dare think that there is anything, past or present, that I would put in front of you! It has never been like that, ever! I need you to see that. I'm begging you.

"don't you dare think that there is anything, past or present, that I would put in front of you" like hello, feelings, this is insane, where are you

the only part that worked for me is the little handfasting moment

do not to get to see this soft smile very often

DEAN Just let it go. SAM I can't. It's in me, Dean. You don't know what this feels like. [DEAN wraps a bandanna around Sam’s cut.] DEAN Hey, listen,we will figure it out, okay, just like we always do. Come on. DEAN Come on. Let it go, okay? Let it go, brother. SAM Hey, Dean. DEAN See? [ SAM Breathing shakily then Sam doubles over in pain. DEAN brings SAM outside the church. ] DEAN Sam? I got you, little brother. You're gonna be just fine.

calling him brother and little brother in one go

apparently i've forgotten already how cas and megatron left things in the time i spent trying to wrap my head around my (lack of) emotional reaction to the church thing. ah right, it was a spell, needed castiel's grace. that's why it's raining angels

the music, the effects.. this all hit the right notes at least. reminded me a smidge of stranger things with the music and rain and the car and ominous things happening in the sky.

see, imagine this show, but with the music of stranger things. like, really well done music cues, not just bad generic weird fake rock blues whatever and classic rock because we have one character note about his musical preferences and we're gonna ride it into the ground. i'm so bitter about the music in this show letting it down! lol

so why did fandom glom on to the spelling of cas? since it's pronounced cass. and is cass in the captions and scripts. having never heard it but seen it a bunch, i assumed it was going to be pronounced caz. cass too feminine?

(for the record one tear came from the expanse-like musical cue and i don't think spn gets the credit for it. i'm stunned, honestly)

so sometimes, i will admit, i have a kneejerk dislike - or anger, of something that seems irrational considering my shipping preferences. like, in 2x11 playthings and sam honestly looks like he's about to kiss dean, i was mad. i felt like they were baiting this thing that would never go anywhere, i was pissy about the gay jokes in the scenes prior at the front desk. now with separation and seeing 6 more seasons, i see how they actually have often stuck to this plausible deniability romance dynamic between them and made it more textual without making the impossible full commit to gay incest on the CW.

i don't think that's what's going on with me and the church thing because i'm not like freaked out->upset->pissy, i'm just... not feeling it. super weird

trying to keep a list of the horrifying results of castiel's attempts to do the right thing.... there's just so many 🤪

[turnstileskyline]

RockSound June 3rd, 2024 – Dallon Weekes Interview (Transcript under the cut)

hello all!!!! i am still taking a little tumblr break (gonna upload and dip) but my copy of the rocksound idkhow issue came so i wanted to get these photographed and transcribed because i know i have shaky hands. (if you spot any mistakes let me know and i'll fix them asap!)

Taking Over The World (One Show At A Time)

As they close out their UK headline tour, IDHKOW's Dallon Weekes reflects on the lessons learned from taking 'Gloom Division' out on the road.

Words James Wilson-Taylor

Photos Corinne Cumming

Now that the UK tour has come to an end, how are you reflecting on this latest run of shows? Well the shows were fantastic. All of the crowds were great and it was really exciting to be back there after, you know, COVID and the album delays and everything. It's felt like it was forever since we've been back. But to be able to go back with this new lineup that I have, it was pretty special. Because I feel like the live show has grown a lot. Being able to add more live musicians to it, and rely less upon synth tracks and things like that. To have people up on stage actually doing it live, we're a little more untethered, which, must like that tour itself, was pretty chaotic. But we seem to thrive on chaos. So it worked out. It was really fun.

Did it click together quite quickly with the new band? What were the initial live rehearsals like? It was really fun for me. My heart goes out to the guys who are playing for me because they had this whole catalogue of music to learn before we hit the road, but they are such professionals and so talented too and most of them live here around Utah where I'm from. Anthony, my guitar player, still is in LA. But whenever shows come up, he flies out here so we get some proper full band rehearsals. But to be able to have really professional musicians dig into the songs and learn how to play them and have some input as well is really invaluable to me because I always really enjoy when a live show has tiny deviations from the recorded versions of the album that you might have in your collection. Sometimes bands can go a little too far from that and it can be fun sometimes. But it can also be a bummer, it kind of depends on the song, I guess. But I like having small moments or extended bits, or maybe an idea that you got post recording an album, when you're all jamming it together and someone does something cool. And you go, 'Dammit, I wish that was on the record'. So you just put it in the live show and it makes for a cool experience, I think.

With the added band members, it gives you a little extra freedom to step away from the bass at moments and explore your position as a frontman. It feels good, but it's interesting too, because that was never on my bucket list. I never had that in mind for my life to be a frontman, or a lead singer. I just always wanted to make music and write and record and have that be my job. I've been lucky enough to have achieved that goal. But, you know, circumstances being what they are, I eventually landed into that role without having it as a goal, but it's something that I do enjoy. It's something I did years ago with Brobecks. But between then and now it's been more than a decade. So I think it took me a minute to sort of relearn that role and find myself in that role again, and luckily once it started rolling, it didn't take long for me to find that footing again. But there was that learning curve where I tried to remember how to be in this spot, rather than just filling a spot on the side of that stage just playing bass. So yeah, it's been fun to be able to put it down every once in a while and have a little more freedom to wander around or spill water bottles all over the stage, which is a bad habit of mine.

It also allows for a nice relationship with the audience. I mean, that's something you've always had – it almost feels like a conversation in places. It's a little secret club in a way for all these fans. That was the impetus when it started. Because this was a secret project, no one was supposed to know about it. And I really had no goals in mind for it other than to get some music out of my head and play it for a bunch of strangers that didn't know what other bands I'd ever been in and see if that art that I was making could stand on it's own two feet without waving some giant flag saying, 'Hey, everybody, I was in this band before, come and see what I'm doing.' There was something about that which felt really disingenuous and kind of gross to me. So starting this project in secret with this ridiculous band name that no one could ever find appealing made a lot of sense at the time. But as things snowballed – and what a wonderful problem to have, I'm talking about this like it's some sort of bad thing but it's not, it's a great thing – eventually it became too late to choose a more sensible band name. But, you know, band names are ridiculous anyway, so who cares? I guess the secret is just to not care. But yeah, finding that role again. It took a minute, but it's been a lot of fun. I'm enjoying it a lot.

In terms of the newer songs in the set, did playing them live and seeing the audience reaction change your opinion about them at all? It's a similar feeling for both me and the audience. Because the way that writing and recording music works now is different from how it was 20 years ago. You used to write your song, go out and play it every night, workshop it, tighten the screws on it, and then you go record it and put on a record. Now, with Youtube and streaming services and bootlegs and things, you have to keep a tight lid on this new stuff that you're working on until it's been officially released. So now, you write your song and you record it and then you learn how to play it afterwards. So taking those out into the world for the first time on stage after you've recorded it, I think it's a new experience for the audience and for the performers as well, because you get a handle on this new thing that you've already recorded. Then night by night, kind of like I mentioned before, someone might do something different. The song sort of evolves and changes a little bit from the way that you recorded it. I think there's a lot of fun to be had in that. Sometimes those things can only happen once you are in front of people and playing those songs. It's all a really organic process and I really enjoy that.

I guess the other thing you had to consider was how best to balance this new material, which pushed you into some new places musically, with the older songs that everybody knows. It's become a challenge now because when this thing started, I hadn't recorded or released anything. It was about four or five months of playing dive bars in secret and just denying that this was even a thing while I was recording. Then by the time we did have something out there, I think we put a song on YouTube first with no record label, no radio, nothing. Then that song just kind of took off. Then we were expected to fill an hour whenever we would go on tour and we had only released five songs. So learning that frontman role and stretching bits out and filling in our set with some covers and maybe some old Brobecks songs, that was the challenge. Now, the challenge has become picking a setlist that has bits and pieces of stuff that you love and that the audience would appreciate from the past and from the current record. So it's a different challenge now, but it's one that I'm enjoying. Revisiting stuff that is important to me from the past and things that I really like playing and stuff that the audience either needs to hear, because we're promoting it, or is stuff that I know they have responded to well in the past and that they'd like to hear. So it's a combination of different factors to make a decent setlist, I think, but I try to keep all that stuff in mind.

One particularly special moment at the London show was when Will Joseph Cook joined you onstage to perform your collaboration "Sunnyside'. That was fun. He's a London boy. The algorithm sent me some of his music a couple of years back and it was a song called 'Take Me Dancing', one of his songs from maybe four or five years ago. It was one of those songs that when you hear it as a songwriter, it's so good that it kind of pisses you off, you know? Dammit, that's good. So I reached out to him to see if he wanted to collaborate on some stuff, and it's been a great working relationship ever since. Then we just pass each other ideas back and forth all the time. He hit me up and asked if he could come to the London show and I said, 'Why don't you come out on stage and we'll sing this 'Sunnyside' song that we to wrote together'. He's like, fuck yeah, so we hooked up a spare microphone and ran it on soundcheck and then brought them out on stage for the set. It was a lot of fun to be able to do that. To play it live with the person who helped cowrite that was pretty special.

So you see that collaborative relationship continuing on more songs in the future? We hung out pretty much all day that day backstage and showed each other ideas that we have floating around. After I got home, I send him some more songs. So yeah, we're definitely going to keep that collaborative working relationship going. He's a good young man with a bright future.

You have also been able to bring some more Brobecks songs into your setlist and put a new, IDKHOW twist on them. Are there any more of those older songs you'd like to re-record or perform again? I've got a shortlist of maybe four or five old Brobecks songs that I think never really got a proper chance to be a proper song, you know, whether that was because we didn't have enough money to record it properly or get it mixed or mastered or even release it. Then I eventually released the songs in a vacuum and no one ever really heard it. But there's four or five I think that I would still like to give a proper chance to. It's not super high on the priority list. But it is something that I'm interested in because I am a fan of songs. And you know, probably more so than albums as a whole, I'm a song man. There are a few from the past that I think had some potential. But I would probably have to consider, you know, the passage of time in between when I first wrote them as a young man and, if I did rerecord and release, now there might have to be some lyric adjustments or something because I don't know how well some lyric choices when you're 22 would go over when you're 42. So there might be some rewrites in order. But revisiting some of those I think would be fun because this project and that project, they aren't unrelated to each other. I very well could have easily called this The Brobecks. But whenever I started this, putting a period at the end of that old project seemed like the right move and moving on to something new that didn't have any baggage to carry along with it. It felt like the move. But yeah, that doesn't mean that that stuff isn't still important to me. It's still very meaningful and I really love playing old Brobecks songs and I think that I always will.

Now that you have had some time to reflect since the release of 'GLOOM DIVISION', how are you feeling about that collection of songs now? It's interesting how your perspective changes on things. When I first recorded it, and was getting ready to release it, I was so excited and I thought this was the best work that I've ever done. Then even with the good reviews that it has gotten and the fan response, there was still more mixed reviews, or mixed feelings, about it than I thought there would be. But seeing that happen has given me a sort of step back, trying to be more objective, which is hard to do when you're making art, you know, because it really is for you. That's still number one for me whenever I make art. It is for me, and I want to like the thing that I'm making. That's the most important bit and if anyone else happens to like it, that's just a really great bonus. But I made this record and I loved it and I thought that surely everyone else would too. All of my favourite records and the things that I draw inspiration from are not popular records. These are not things that were at the top of the charts. You know, even on some of my top 10 Records of all time – Elvis Costello's 'This Year's Model' or The Flaming Lips or Ben Folds Five, all of my favourite stuff, these were never people that lived at the top of the charts. So, to me, the response kind of makes sense. As long as you're making something that you like, and you're not trying to play to the gallery, then whatever their response is, so be it.

UK artists in particular seem to have always had a big influence on you. I've been a sucker for everything British since I got into the Beatles, and if it was from the 60s and it was British then I was all about it. Even in the 90s, | was a big Britpop fan. In the post grunge-90s, Britpop in America was not the cool thing to be into, but I was all about it. Blur was my favourite. I loved Pulp and I liked Oasis too. That was my shit back in the 90s while everyone else was listening to Rage Against The Machine, which I can appreciate more now. Back then, I viewed it as the stuff my older brother and his friends were into and they're all bros. So I was being kind of a little hipster about it. But I love Rage now. But yeah, back then in the 90s, again I was into stuff that wasn't living at the top of the charts.

It must have been particularly exciting to finally come over here and play shows for the first time. Yeah it was very cool to be there finally and see where rock and roll...wasn't born but where it had been fine tuned and perfected. We may have done it first but I'm always of the mindset that y'all did it best. There's no pride in regards to, you know, who did what and when. I'm a fan of what y'all do. I love it over there.

One UK show that must stick in the memory was when you played Brixton Academy in 2016 with Panic! At The Disco just after David Bowie had passed away. That must have been quite a surreal but special moment. I remember waking up in my hotel that day to the news and being hit with it harder than I probably thought I would have ever been. I'd always been a big Bowie fan, but sometimes you don't really realize how much you like something until it's gone, which is kind of fucked up. So I woke up to the news that he had died and I cried a little bit, you know, which kind of surprised me. Then I went out walking the streets, because we had a full day before we had to be at the venue for soundcheck, and his music was everywhere. Walking past that mural that's down the street from the venue where people had made this makeshift memorial, there was this awesome sense of community. That was a great reminder about the importance behind art and behind music. All of these people walking the streets, they might not share anything in common, but at least for today, or that day, everyone's sharing this art that this man made. There's something so special about that. Whenever an artist passes along from this world, you hope that your art that you make continues to be enjoyed by people and that way you get to sort of live on and still impact people. So that's the hope. I certainly hope that's the case with me and I'm sure I'm not alone in that. Playing that venue in particular, or really any historical venue where I know for sure that someone I love has played there and has walked down this staircase to the stage just like I'm doing, I always think about that right before we're about to take the stage. There's something intimidating about it and something comforting about it at the same time.

Similarly, when you played Camden Electric Ballroom with IDKHOW, that is another venue with so much history. There is a plaque outside in memory of when Prince performed there. That's another reason why I really love playing in London because there's so many choices. You throw a stone and there's a gig happening somewhere and you have your choice of just about anything under the sun that you can go see. So the fact that there are people on the other side of the world that would choose to come see this project and watch us play the songs that I write here in my basement is nothing short of a miracle to me. This last round of shows that we played over there, particularly that last show in London, to be able to have that venue full of people is so special to me and does not go unappreciated.

[clonerightsagenda]

HDM Season 3 continued!

Episode 3:

Pan sleeping against Will's leg. I saw that.

Asriel and Mrs. Coulter are a couple that truly matches each other's freak (child murder) (derogatory). He was really like hey babe now that we're back together let's torture a prisoner of war.

"You look different." "So do you." Yeah you both grew several inches and she has a chest now. Puberty comes at you fast when you have to wait a while between shooting seasons.

More show-original squabbles to drag decision making out longer for some reason

The show is emphasizing Asriel sucking a lot more. Which I appreciate because he does kind of suck. Mrs. Coulter on the other hand is practically a tritagonist (evil/complicated)

They've switched Serafina saving an arrow to kill Mrs. Coulter to Ruta being hostile toward her. I don't love how I feel like they're skating on the edge of the angry Black woman trope with her.

"It's not about your beliefs. They believe, and they will act on it." Folding this into my conviction that Lyra is only the prophecy child capable of moving a multiverse of Dust because everyone is obsessed with her.

The forging scene was kind of half assed compared to the book. Where is the masterful forge Iorek built out of scraps because he's such a great blacksmith? You could not get the metal hot enough on an open air campfire like that.

Lyra: An angel? I'm gonna poke it.

TV!Balthamos is a lot chiller.

"Perhaps I never needed a knife in the first place." You're on the right track. But you also don't need high tech angel torture devices. You just need a big hole.

Shame they didn't do the bit re: the land of the dead where they cut into a world, then cut again, and end up in a reflection of that world with a former corpse now a ghost. I thought that was cool.

Episode 4:

God, you die and go to the afterlife and the prison guard for the dead is still a British guy. This is like Tell No Tales' load bearing British guy of death.

Everyone's reaction when Mrs. Coulter re-enters the plot is some variation of "are you fucking kidding me"

Mrs. Coulter continues to somehow seduce her way through the Magisterium. Is Mrs. Coulter a masterfully or misogynistically written female character for femme fatale-ing her way through various male authority figures and then losing her shit over her child: famous forum thread closed after 8000 pages of debate.

It's only now occurring to me that Asriel built a craft that can only be piloted by people from his world. It wasn't as important in the books, but in here where the craft can cut through dimensions, it looks more like keeping certain abilities tightly under wraps.

We're finally getting to Mary's lifechanging safari. About time.

It's also now occurring to me that it might've been nice for them to cut the living people stuck in the afterlife waiting room out. Most of them got there accidentally.

No Tialys/Salmakia with the kids in Death. Guess they wanted to focus on Will and Lyra, but it's a shame that we don't get Lyra pissing off Tialys on purpose to summon her death vs just wanting it real hard.

I can't remember how the ghosts knew that Lyra was about to get exploded. Maybe the show will elaborate on that.

Where are their fucking rollerskates

Will spent months searching for Lyra?? I guess they added that in to explain how much the kids grew but a) lots of devotion for someone he knew for like a week and b) Lyra should be in way worse shape if she was in a medical coma for months.

It says a lot that Will pulls a knife on the ferryman for Pan's sake given how much he hates having to be the 'violent' one.

They trimmed the ferryman's speech. I get it because it's quite long but still, bummer.

They didn't have Will screaming in agony! That seems unfair given the emphasis on how he's losing the same thing as Lyra. Maybe they decided it was not manly. Also it would be almost impossible to adapt into television but shoutout to the passage where it describes his experience as if he told someone to kill his mother instead of him because he doesn't love her.

[neonthewrite]

GT July 2023

I really enjoyed this challenge, though I didn't quite finish it and what I did get done was largely very late. Life hit me pretty hard and got in the way more than I ever expected, which is a bummer but I must keep on trying. As it is, I don't want to keep feeling Guilty over this not being finished, so I'm calling it at 28 prompts filled. Thank you to everyone who read, and I hope you'll stick around to see what else I come up with!

1 - Enchanted - Interrupted at Work - The miniature wizard Colfax is grabbed (rather rudely) from his lab to employ his services as Court Wizard.

2 - Bird - Gilded Birdcage - Adrian, cursed to live his life as a small bird in a cage, contemplates his life as a witch's would-be familiar.

3 - Impulsive - Nailed It - Chase Lisong, tiny king of impulsive idiots, has a close call in the kitchen while on a borrowing mission.

4 - Stargazing - Grey Landing (part 6) - In which Isaac Grey gathers some supplies for himself and also learns he's definitely not in the same world he recognizes.

5 - Caught - Orange You Glad - Borrower Chase's close calls finally catch up to him and he gets caught out in the open.

6 - AU - Landing Grey - Introducing ... Isaac Grey, an unlucky sailor who has somehow shipwrecked and washed ashore on an island of tiny folk.

7 - Thief - Almost a Thief - Borrower Chase makes a good bid for freedom, but doesn't quite have the speed to get away from a human that's set on catching him.

8 - Dream - At Odds with Himself - In an AU inspired by a dream, two versions of Colfax butt heads. When one is a powerful wizard with a shrinking spell in his arsenal, the resulting chase is frightening and strange for the other.

9 - Rainy Day - Learning to be Friendly - In the cyberpunk Elias Dawn AU, Elias' miniature droid buddy is learning some skills for how to talk to a friend.

10 - Ancient - The Forest Walks - An ancient forest entity laments that she is no longer friends with the wee folk, though her luck may be turning around once more.

11 - Melancholy - Missing Freedom - Jacob, a giant, is captive to some mysterious organization that is trying to train him into a soldier.

12 - Video Games - Let's Go, (Tiny) Gamers - Adrian and Colfax wander Sawyer's apartment and stumble upon a video game controller. Colfax decides to show Adrian the ropes.

13 - Banter - Wrong Place Wrong Time - Hype, a deaf fairy, has wandered into a scout's camp by accident. The scout is not keen to banter with this apparent tiny spy.

14 - Instrument - The Keys to Happiness - (Pet GT Trope) Mindy was a raffle prize to a giant she's not sure is cut out to take good care of her. Despite her resentment, though, Alban has a surprise for her. Set in the FFH world created by @therealbrigeedarocks

16 - Celebrating - Lies Under Duress - Borrower Chase tries and fails to make up a good reason for why he was stealing oranges. The human that caught him isn't convinced.

17 - Home - Grey Landing (part 7) - The giant fishermen that have captured Isaac bring him home with them.

18 - Fire - Grey Landing (part 8) - Isaac is brought to a giant cabin where he has to deal with yet another giant, as well as wonder what they have planned for him.

19 - Trickster - Crisis Averted - Elias Dawn has finished up a fight and she's tapped into her more devious nature to do so. Eral has to talk her down before she heads off to cause trouble that no one deserves.

20 - Intimidate - Grey Landing (part 9) - The giant fisherman attempts to intimidate Isaac. The lady of the house, however, intimidates everyone into calming down, and Isaac is put in time out with some much-needed food.

21 - Secret - Shoot the Breeze - Borrower Chase has a chat with the human that caught him, and learns his name is Jacob. He does not quite manage to convince Jacob to send him on his way as a benevolent hallucination, alas.

22 - Garden - Bowman of the Garden - A brand new AU of Bowman of Wellwood, in which the wood sprites of that story reside in a lush garden near a human home rather than out in the woods, isolated from all human contact. Bowman is still and always the reckless patrol sprite.

23 - Weapon - Two Thieves - A pair of thieves think they have the perfect mark in Elias Dawn, until they notice the pixie with him and remember some of the rumors about how dangerous that pint-sized powerhouse is.

24 - Memory - Grey Landing (part 10) - Isaac makes a little progress talking to the giants. But things still aren't perfect. He's got to win them over a bit more.

25 - Pajamas - Ducky Pajamas - Little Oscar has been adopted... by a human! He reflects on his nice pajamas and how soft and comfortable his life is despite the unexpected circumstances.

26 - Tangled - Office Fae - Simon, a house fae making things work in an office instead, hears about a new hire in the office.

27 - Jewelry / 28 - Cursed - Shackled Forest - Morrel, a giant of the woods, is bound by cursed jewels that have woken again after many many years dormant.

[kentmac]

The Seven Years' War in the Style of Dave Attell Part 1 AI Generated

The Seven Years' War, also known as the "Big One" to those of us who appreciate a good conflict, was a massive battle royale that took place all over the world. Picture this: Great Britain and France, two heavyweight contenders, duking it out for global dominance. But wait, there's more! Prussia wanted to expand its territory, Austria wanted to reclaim lost land, and Spain and France joined forces in a family affair. Meanwhile, smaller German states jumped into the mix, some fighting, some providing mercenaries. In North America, the colonists got in on the action too, with skirmishes turning into all-out war. The result? France's reign as a global power came crashing down, and Europe's power dynamics were shaken up, setting the stage for future conflicts. It was like MMA meets chess, a high-stakes game with far-reaching consequences.

Alright, folks, gather 'round for a history lesson. So we've got this thing called the Seven Years' War, right? It all started when the British decided they wanted to expand their territory in North America, but the French had other ideas. This led to the French and Indian War, with both sides, along with their Native American buddies, fighting for control. Things got real intense when this young buck named George Washington, heard of him?, and his native pals ambushed the French. This whole conflict spread like wildfire, even to the high seas where the British were seizing French ships left and right.

Alright, so back in the day, Prussia and Austria were going head to head for control in central Europe. Prussia is a lot like Germany - the biggest of the German states but not quite as fun loving. Then in 1756, everything got turned on its head with the Diplomatic Revolution. Countries were trying to hook up like it was last call and the lights haven’t come on yet. Austria buddied up with Russia and France to try and get back Silesia from Prussia. I’m assuming Silesia is some sort of wonderful to make you want to be friends with those guys. And Prussia teamed up with Great Britain to show France who's boss. So we got France, Russia with Austria on one side – the original odd couple – more than an odd couple, I don’t know. I don’t do mathies. And, Great Britain and Prussia on the other side.

Prussia got all cocky by strutting around the bar with its new friend Great Britain which led Prussia to take a swing at Saxony under the control of the Holy Roman Empire. This caused a whole lot of chaos. The Holy Roman Empire wasn't thrilled and declared war on Prussia, dragging in a bunch of German states and even Sweden. What the Holy Roman Empire was doing located in Germany and worrying about Saxony– don’t ask me. I’m not McNallys.

Spain felt lonely and wanted in on the action and asked France to team up and they became the Road Warriors and double suplexing, sorry, invading Portugal. But that didn't work out too well. Apparently, Portugal is stronger than it looks.

And Russia started with Austria, but then, get this, switched sides when a new tsar came into power. I’m all confused now. It was a messy time all around, folks.

So, like, the Brits totally kicked some French butt in this war, man. They scored big time, scooping up loads of territory - New France, Spanish Florida, Caribbean islands, and even a spot in Africa. They were like, "Yo, Frenchies, step aside, Britain's taking over!" Unfortunately, the Native American tribes got left out of the settlement. Spoiler alert , it’ll happen again. Then Pontiac's War came along, where the Odawa tribe was like, "Hey, Britain, give us back our forts and share the land!" But it didn't work out too well for them. Tough break, guys. Land distribution can be a real bummer, especially when you're on the losing side and you’ve got a soft spot for beads."

 

Prussia managed to turn things around like a magician pulling a rabbit out of their hat. They were like, "Hey Austria, put that schnitzel down, because we're about to kick some Habsburg butt!" And that's exactly what they did. Prussia came out on top, gaining some extra territory and flexing their military muscles. It was a classic case of the underdog rising up and proving everyone wrong.

So, we got Frederick the Great doing his thing, you know, retrieving stuff and retaining the swanky Prussian position. And Austria, they tried but failed to get back their precious little Silesia from Prussia. Poor Portugal and Sweden, they thought jumping in would give 'em their great power status back, but nope, sorry guys, your still Sweden and Portugal. France, oh buddy, they lost a bunch of colonies and ended up with a mountain of debt they couldn't handle. Spain may have lost Florida, but hey, they snagged Louisiana and got their colonies back. Now, some smartypants historians say this was the first global war, The called it the Great War before World War 1 decided enough was enough and started digging trenches. Nevertheless, the Seven Years War had ripple effects, man. Changed up the European political order, set the stage for British world domination in the 19th century, kicked off some tension in good ol' North America, and let everyone know that France was a total mess. Sssshhh, is that a horde of stinky peasants storming the Bastille that I hear? It was a wild ride, with sieges, town fires, and battles that left a whole lotta folks dead.

The North American Background:

The boundary between British and French possessions in North America was about as clear as an empty bottle of whiskey at last call. France thought they owned the whole dang Mississippi River basin, but Britain wasn't having it. So, the French, being the stubborn folks they are, started building forts in the Ohio River Valley to flex their muscles and protect their Native American friends from the growing British influence. Well, them British settlers along the coast didn't take too kindly to having French troops in their backyard, and they had a sneaking suspicion the French were gonna stir up trouble with their Native American buddies. Plus, they wanted that sweet Ohio River Valley land for all those new settlers pouring into the colonies. Things started getting real messy when the Brits tried to stop the construction of a fancy fort the French were building at "the Forks" where a couple of rivers meet to form the Ohio River. George Washington, bless his heart, tried to wrangle up some militia to take care of the French, but it all blew up in their faces. Next thing you know, we got a full-blown war on our hands, and it ain't gonna end pretty.

The European Background

 

So, back in the day, there was this War of the Austrian Succession, which lasted from 1740 to 1748. And in this war, King Frederick the Great of Prussia was like, "Screw it, I'm taking Silesia from Austria." And Empress Maria Theresa of Austria, not one to stand still, was all like, "Hold up, let me rebuild my forces and make some new alliances." So, you got these traditional enemies, France, Great Britain, and Austria, all teaming up or switching sides like a game of musical chairs to garner the most power and influence. And Prussia was like, "I got Silesia, peace out." But then France and Prussia joined forces in 1747, just to make things even more confusing. And let's not forget about Russia, who was all like, "Yeah, we'll help you out, Austria, but only if we get Silesia and East Prussia." Crazy times, my friends, crazy times.

Alright folks, let me break it down for you in my own Attell-style way. So, we got King George II of Britain, right? He's all about his German holdings, but he's also got these British colonies that need his attention. Now, France is sniffing around, eyeing Hanover, and they're willing to use any chance they get to mess with Britain. But here's the thing - France has their own little secret club going on, called the Secret du Roi, where they're doing their own private diplomacy without their foreign minister even knowing. Sneaky, right? Louis XV, the French king, has agents all over the place, trying to score personal wins. He wants his cousin to grab the Polish crown, and he also wants to keep Poland, Sweden, and the Ottoman Empire as French allies against Russia and Austria.

 

Meanwhile, the Prussian king, Frederick, is eyeing Saxony and Polish west Prussia for himself. But hey, he knows he can't count on French support if he starts a war for them. And if he sides with the French against the British, he's opening himself up to an Austro-Russian attack. It's a tricky situation, people. Saxony is stuck between Prussia and Austria, and Poland is being pulled in different directions by pro-French and pro-Russian folks. Easy pickings for anyone, really. So, Frederick comes up with this grand plan to give Augustus III of Saxony Bohemia in exchange for Saxony. But hold on a second, that means Austria gets screwed over again. And Austria, guess what? They're not happy.

 

Then, there's Britain. Oh, Britain. They're trying to keep Hanover safe from the French, so they throw their electoral vote in Hanover for Maria Theresa's son, Joseph II, to become the Holy Roman Emperor. But wait, that doesn't make Frederick and Prussia too happy. And guess who Britain ends up teaming up with later? Russia, my friends. They promise money and troops to Russia to station on the border, all in the name of Hanover's defense. In the midst of all this chaos, King George II decides to make nice with Frederick, because they're both scared of the Austro-Russian axis. So, they sign the Convention of Westminster, promising to help each other out. They want peace, but honestly, it looks like war is knocking on the door.

 

Then comes the big smackdown. France is pissed at Britain for backstabbing Prussia, and Russia is mad at Britain too for their shady moves. Austria, seeing this mess, decides to make their move. France has no choice but to join the Austro-Russian team to avoid total destruction. They sign the First Treaty of Versailles, pledging troops to each other in case of attack. It's a full-on diplomatic revolution, my friends. And all these treaties, they might say they're defensive, but we all know they're leading us straight into war. The game is on, and it's gonna get messy. Stay tuned.

Methods and technologies

European warfare in the early modern period was all about guns, swords, and mayhem. Flintlock muskets and bayonets were the weapons of choice for infantry, while cavalrymen brandished sabres and pistols. Artillery played a big role in siege warfare, and strategic battles revolved around control of key fortifications. Wars were fought by disciplined regular armies, supplied and equipped by the state. France had a strategy of focusing on European battles and trading territorial acquisitions in Europe for lost overseas possessions, while Britain sought alliances and used its naval power to its advantage. Austria and Russia wanted to reduce the power of Prussia. It was a time of shifting alliances, epic battles, and high-stakes negotiations. Is that what you were looking for? I hope so, because that's what you're gonna get with me, Dave Attell.

 

Strategies From Different Countries

 

So there's this dude named William Pitt the Elder, right? This dude had a freakin' genius plan for kicking France's ass in a way that no one had ever seen before. As prime minister, Pitt was all like, "Yo, let's take the whole damn French Empire for ourselves!" And this guy knew he had the Royal Navy on his side - this bad boy could control the freakin' seas. So he's gonna sail over to North America and India and take those French possessions like it's nobody's business. But wait, there's more! Pitt's got this crazy idea to use the American colonists to help him out, with the British regulars leading the charge. Smart move, Pitt. And to make sure the French couldn't escape, he's throwing some cash at his European allies. This guy knows what he's doing! And guess what? It actually freakin' worked! Pitt was like the head honcho from 1756 to 1761, and his British peeps kept following his strategy even after he left. And man, did it pay off! Pitt knew the value of empire and he figured out France's weak spots. This dude was a freakin' genius, I tell ya!

A Year by Year Breakdown of the Way on the British Side

 

So, we got this British Prime Minister, the Duke of Newcastle, thinking he can prevent war in Europe with some alliances. But then the French come out swinging and attack Minorca in the Mediterranean. The British try to come to the rescue, but they fail, and the French take the island. It's a mess, really. And then, old Frederick II of Prussia gets wind of all this chaos and decides to join forces with the Brits. He boldly crosses the border into Saxony, trying to get the jump on Austria. This guy has big plans, you know? He wants to snatch up Saxony, set up camp in Bohemia, and invade Moravia. It's a wild ride, folks. And it turns out, Frederick was underestimated. He ends up in a sticky situation at the Battle of Lobositz. He flees the battlefield, leaving his buddy Keith in charge. Classic Frederick move. But you won't believe it, he still claims it as a Prussian victory! Talk about spin doctoring. Anyway, Prussia occupies Saxony, and the Austrians take partial control of Silesia. It's a messy situation out there, folks. Meanwhile, the Brits are trying to help their Prussian buddy, sending supplies and some serious cash. They even get some German states together to protect Hanover from the French. But the Dutch, they want no part in this mess - they just wanna stay neutral. And let's not forget, while all this continental chaos is happening, the Brits aren't doing too hot in North America. Tough year all around.

1757

So, back in the day, Frederick II of Prussia was like "I'm gonna march into Bohemia and give those Austrian forces a whooping!" And that's exactly what he did. After this bloody Battle of Prague, where both sides suffered major casualties, the Prussians forced the Austrians back into Prague. But hold up, Austrian commander Leopold von Daun wasn't having it, and he gathered 30,000 troops to come to the rescue of Prague. Meanwhile, the Russians were besieging Memel with 75,000 troops, and after five days of intense bombardment, they stormed it. They even invaded East Prussia but still couldn't take Königsberg. With all these battles happening, it wasn't looking good for Prussia, especially when Sweden decided to join the party and invade Pomerania. To make matters worse, the Hanoverian army got defeated and had to surrender. Prussia was feeling the pressure, and Frederick was desperately asking Britain for help. But wait, things took a turn when Frederick scored some major wins at the Battle of Rossbach and the Battle of Leuthen. Rossbach was the only time the French faced the Prussians during the whole war, and let's just say it didn't go well for the French. Leuthen was Frederick's greatest victory, even though he missed the chance to completely destroy the Austrian army. With these wins, Frederick once again solidified himself as a top-notch general. Out in the east, Frederick shifted his forces to counter the Swedish invasion, while Hanover regrouped and launched offensives against the French. Great Britain also got its act together and formed a coalition government to give direction to the war effort. And just to add a touch of drama, a Hungarian general named Hadik decided to have some fun and occupy part of Berlin. But don't worry, Frederick wasn't having any of that and sent in a bigger force to free the city. Hadik escaped and ended up getting promoted in the Austrian Army.

[thedaveandkimmershow]

From small family Thanksgivings to large family Thanksgivings to Second Thanksgivings, Thanksgiving Day landed in the midst of our lives in different ways. Those ways defined the experience, of course. They defined such meaning as the day tries to embody.

And let's be honest.

Such meaning as we derive from Thanksgiving does depend on our yearly experience of it regardless of its historic and traditional roots.

Bummer.

😕

The ways in which we experienced Thanksgiving weren't limited to what I described these last days, by the way. You see on a number of occasions we celebrated Thanksgiving as a community.

The first experience like that was with dear friends who invited a number of different families to share the Thanksgiving meal together. To share Thanksgiving together. It's an experience that seems like it would be a large family Thanksgiving but in actual practice is something quite different. These were different relationships from family relationships. With some of the families, these were closer relationships on a daily basis. With some of these families we had a more vivid history of experience together. The age spread of kids was different with many of them knowing each other from younger ages without necessarily growing up together... and some kids were still really quite young. There were musicians in the mix. The discussions ranged in different ways. If I had to put my finger on it, I'd say the topics of conversation were more varied than you'd usually find among family. Which makes sense.

So.

Our first community Thanksgiving was a large Thanksgiving experience based on friendships.

Our second community Thanksgiving experience happened while we were in southern California visiting family. Kimmer's cousin, his son, and the three of us were invited by her aunt and uncle to share the Thanksgiving meal with them.

Now, Kimmer's aunt and uncle didn't live in a house. They lived in a fifth-wheel camper set into its own space in a camper community.

Camper community?

Sure. Think of it like a neighborhood of large camper vehicles you could move if you had to... but you don't. They exist like houses. The owners exist as a community of neighbors, elderly of course, arranged around a bona fide community center. A place of gathering for different purposes. And, in this case, the place in which everyone would come together to celebrate Thanksgiving.

That was the Thanksgiving meal to which we were invited by Kimmer's aunt and uncle.

A community of neighbors Thanksgiving.

For that reason alone the experience was different and felt different. In some ways it reminded me of the lunches that would take place after service at the church in which we grew up. That elderly vibe, you know? Only, as we were adults ourselves, we could actually have conversations with them. Get to know them as they got to know us.

So yeah. An experience of strangers, as well. Fellow human beings with longer histories than ourselves. In some ways, more connected to the history and tradition of Thanksgiving.

Perhaps my favorite Thanksgiving (and it does pain me to say it) was our Death Valley Thanksgiving.

Does a Death Valley Thanksgiving sound absurd to you?

Because it sure sounded absurd to me when it first came up. I really did think this was a joke.

Turns out, though, it wasn't.

This community wasn't family. Although families most certainly were integral to the experience. This community wasn't friends. Although friendships abounded all over the place. This community wasn't neighbors. Because it couldn't be. Not really. At best these were temporary neighbors.

Temporary neighbors?

Yeah.

From tents to trailers to RVs to houses on wheels to custom builds of all kinds both massive and small with at least one outfitted for the Apocalypse. These people adventured here from near and far for this one week each year. In a way, it was like a massive class reunion. It was also a good bit of show 'n tell with genuine curiosity in each other's rigs. Even the teardrop trailers were a hit because those still require a fair amount of engineering.

People would begin populating the camping/parking spaces at the beginning of the week. Some would turn up even the preceding Saturday day or Friday evening. There'd be individual experiences, catching up with old friends, welcoming newbies. A lot of parallel experiences, too. On the Day, however, they would all synchronize their efforts toward the community Thanksgiving meal that we would all enjoy together. Outdoors, of course.

There was a massive amount of food.

And drink.

And dessert.

All of which we enjoyed as day turned to evening and evening turned to night and the multitude of stars blanketing the heavens revealed themselves in a way you can only experience in the middle of nowhere. Far, far from the glow of city lights that normally obscures most of what's up there.

Which turns out to be genuinely breathtaking.

Now, what I just described just is a good chunk of what it's like to experience Thanksgiving in Death Valley.

However.

That's not the whole story.

For example, we rented a Cruise America RV and, on our way to Death Valley, quickly ran into crazy strong cross-winds that relentlessly punched right into the side of our RV. Basically, we were a big sail on wheels and we were being continually shoved to one way or another, either toward the sand and rocks to our right... or the oncoming traffic to our left.

I white knuckled the drive all the way to the mountains right before Death Valley.

It was not fun.

Also, the RV wasn't a powerhouse on the road and, for a while there, driving up the west side of the mountains, it wasn't super clear we'd actually make it to the top of the mountain before descending gracefully into the valley.

Not joking.

It was a sloooow and slower and slowest slog to the top.

We made it, though. Thank God.

The only other downsides I'd attach to our experience were the freezing nights and the reality that we had no way to heat the RV. Not that we knew of. Plus, you couldn't run a generator after 10pm.

Because noise. Right?

So the last night we're there, the temp drops into the twenties. Not even our pile of blankets and sweaters and coats could overcome the profound shivering and fear of frozen body parts that ensued. So we fired up the RV and left. Heat definitely cranked up high as we left the desert behind us.

I think that was before seven in the morning.

Maybe even six.

So what puts this Thanksgiving experience at or near the top of my list of favorite Thanksgivings?

Well, it was the biggest.

Not in terms of number of people even though it was. But in the scope of the experience.

For example, during the day we traveled all around the valley exploring the incredible geology. Badwater Basin, the lowest point in the United States. Devil's Golf Course. Ubehebe Crater. Racetrack Playa. And every night, the darkest night skies in the U.S..

Plus the kids loved all the dunes. 🙂

Plus we loved taking photos everywhere. 😁

Next to experience the epic geology of Death Valley, hanging out with and talking to the different RV owners about their rigs was perfectly fascinating (especially the one built for the Apocalypse). And then just talking to people there, fellow travelers all, about their experiences on the road.

Because we were there for several days, we experienced an Everything Thanksgiving. Small Family. Large Family. We'd all hang out in Kimmer's aunt's and uncle's fifth-wheel camper. We experienced an even more community community experience.

Why community community?

Because we were actually part of this one.

There's just something about fellow travelers, you know? There's something about hanging out with people who're on the road like you. Which is true even when you're on vacation; especially true when you're adventuring the awe-inspiring middle of nowhere from lots of different starting points.

Everyone has stories.

And so we're all instantly part of the same community. We all share the experience to different degrees.

Interestingly (and of course I'm judging this from about a decade's distance), hardship also stamped the experience in a meaningful way.

Stamped?

Yup. With adventure, if you can believe that.

It was an ordeal getting there (by our standards, of course). The overnight cold made it a challenge to keep warm even inside.

We had to want this, I guess is what I'm saying. And we kept wanting it through Thanksgiving because the rest of the experience was so compelling, so worth it.

It's a slight piece of the original pilgrim experience we don't and maybe can't appreciate in the modern day. But, as my friend Ann likes to say, there you go and there you are.

Definitely when you're sitting around a fire at night with family and friends (and newly made friends) talking about the day, talking about the adventure, looking up and marveling marveling marveling at the breathtaking night sky...

You can sense the tiniest connection with other travelers. Not the ones today, though, not the ones yesterday or even the year before but those travelers...

Once upon a time.

☺️

[ocalaghan]

I finished watching Mako Mermaids (the spin-off of H2O: Just Add Water).

Some thoughts...

Obviously, it definitely was not a patch on the original. The trio of girls just weren't as captivating as the previous trio (plus Bella), and Zac was honestly kind of dull to start with. But I really wanted to get to the end and see what it was all about, plus I knew Cariba Heine guest-starred in it and I really wanted to see her in the later seasons.

The colossal plot-hole right from the beginning was hard for me to look past lol.

Sirena, Lyla, and Nixie were from a pod of mermaids that lived around Mako Island called the Mako Pod, right? Right. It's also evident from Rikki's return to the area that this show takes place around ten years after the original show ended. It's also evident that when the girls tell Rita, their teacher who is a mermaid but has chosen to live on land as a human, that they are from the Mako Pod, Rita recognises this name and knows of the pod.

So that would suggest the pod has lived there quite a long time. So where were they all when Emma, Cleo, and Rikki turned into mermaids? Those three and all their pals were constantly around Mako and the Moon Pool, but there were no mermaids guarding the area. They never once bumped into another mermaid swimming around that part of the water somehow. So where did the Mako Pod even come from? Why were they never around in the few years that Emma, Cleo, Rikki, and co were mermaids? In fact, when Rikki does appear, she's made a living out of being a deep sea explorer and is surprised when the gang come to her and reveal to her they were mermaids from birth - how has she been scouring the oceans as a JOB and has never bumped into another mermaid?

I found that all pretty frustrating because it just makes no sense - the Mako Pod just popped up one day and it confuses the lore of the original series. They could've easily said the pod had recently moved to the area a year or two ago because of the call of the Moon Pool or some shit. I don't know.

Also, their powers... what is going on there? Zac is obviously wildly powerful as a merman (why are mermen better?) but he can do random shit like unlock doors and go invisible (and the girls can go invisible too but like... why) and just generally do magic things that have nothing to do with water. Weilan even sets off a car alarm with her powers. Zac can twirl coins? That was never shown in the original (other than the girls being able to lift people but it took all of them to do it and it was a full moon... and I guess humans are mostly made of water so that's not actually that weird).

I also don't understand the mermaid fear of mermen. They are hated because mermaids are terrified of them and their power, but all the mermaid pods are friggin' huge. So there must be a whole bunch of them making mermaid babies somehow and surely they need mermen to do that?! That never got touched on but I'm dying to know.

I hated Zac for a lot of season one (and Cam) and I know that was kind of the point - he was being a dick, but God, it was annoying. Then it gets all resolved, which is great, and I liked Zac waaaay more after that (and he started growing his hair out and it was hella cute) and I was really warming to the girls by this point. I loved seeing their relationship develop with Rita, and I really liked Lyla especially. I kind of wanted her and Zac to get together. It sort of seemed like it might be heading that way? And then season two starts and they drop the bombshell that Lyla and Nixie have left!!! Why!!! They get replaced by Mimmi and Ondina who were even less interesting to me. That was such a bummer. I started to enjoy Mimmi more but I never really liked Ondina. And then Sirena vanishes on a months-long vacation with her sister for the entire final season and is never seen again, only to be replaced by Weilan, who I also didn't love.

I was excited about there being a character called Evie as well because I hardly ever find people in shows with my name, but she was honestly kind of boring and annoying and not a great actress. I do sympathise with her, like... her boyfriend acts like a total weirdo for months and it low-key looks like he's cheating on her and then it turns out he's a mythical creature. That's a lot to deal with at like 16. But she wasn't an amazing character, I didn't love her. She got better as the series went on though. I did know she turned into a mermaid because I saw a GIFset of it long before I started the show so that wasn't a surprise either.

There was just a lot that didn't make sense and I just didn't love it, or even like it at times.

I guess they tied things up well at the end though, even though none of the original three mermaids that started out in the first episode were even there any more. Mimmi and Zac got their birth mother back, Zac's going to reveal his secret to his parents, and he's happy with Evie... Mimmi told her boyfriend about her secret. Weilan's going to rebuild her pod with Ondina's help.

Rita, who I ADORED, quit being a teacher on land to help young mermaids instead and return to her roots at sea. I was a bit confused by that plot because it seems like she's going to lead a dual life on land and sea, now that the Mermaid Council are open to such an idea, but I don't get why that meant she had to quit her day job lmao. She was obviously keeping her house and everything as she still had it in the final episode, and she adores her cat Poseidon so she wouldn't leave him. Whatever, I love Rita, I love her friendship with the gang, and I love that she gets to be part of the pod again while also enjoying the life she's built for herself on land.

And they wrapped up things with Rikki so nicely!!! I thought it was a weird choice for the writers to have her not believe the gang when they told her they needed her help to fight a water dragon... like... Rikki and co literally fought a monster made of water in that same area probably not even 10 years ago, so why would she find that hard to believe? Bizarre. My heart broke when she revealed she's not friends with Cleo, Emma (and Bella?) any more. But then at the end she said she would come back to spend time with the gang and the Mako Pod and meet other real mermaids, and that she would bring her friends. <333 YES baby reignite your friendships. <333 There was no mention of Zane though I get the impression they are not together any more which also hurt my feelings but in my head, if she's spending more time in that town again, maybe she bumps into him there at some point and they get back together. It's canon now ok.

Anyway. That was rough to get through. H2O will forever be iconic, this was not a great sequel though.

[sunarintoes]

Synopsis: Yn Ln is an environmentalist - Miyagi University’s very own campus ‘Green Thumb.’ One day Hinata Shōyō who happens to be a close friend of Yn, invites them to come to one of his races. The only problem is that this race of his, is illegal. Read the journey of Yn who has been sucked into the world of illegal street racing with the one goal: to create an eco-friendly race car.

WC: 1.2K

Masterlist

Go-Karts

‘Using hydrogen seems to be the most interesting and probably the cheapest option, wouldn't you say?’

You hum in agreement, ‘i'm still not exactly sure how we’re going to do it, there's barely any articles out there. I say we start by researching hydrogen powered things such as hydro powered dams.’

‘What is a hydro powered dam?’ asks Yachi;

‘You know those big dams that produce power? Well water flows through the metallic spin turbine blades which are connected to generators. This generates power that is then sent to homes and businesses.’ 

‘Hey everyone… I really hope we don't get assassinated,’ says Nishinoya slowly, ‘after all, we are making something revolutionary that could destroy the fossil fuel business.’

You grimace while Yachi visibly cowers back into the booth; ‘H-hey Nishinoya! Don't say things like that!’ Ennoshita yells.

‘What? I'm just preparing you all for the worst case scenario! I already told you about old man Tesla right?’ he says defensively. 

Ennoshita relaxes back into the booth and sighs, ‘let’s drop the topic,’ he pauses and looks at his watch, you watch his eyes grow wide; ‘It’s already 4 o’clock!’  One by one, everyone adopts the same expression. Time really does fly when you’re having fun. 

‘Why don't we first build a car? Then we can get an idea on how they’re built firsthand. Later we can develop the car into hydropower,’ you suggest.

‘That's a good idea but why don't we start with go-karts first? They are similar to cars and a lot easier. We can experiment on them before we throw ourselves into the deep end. The racing track is a go-kart business during the day and it shouldn't be too busy around this time.’ Yachi proposes. 

You smile at her, ‘yeah that’s a good idea.’ 

✄.

Once the four of you arrive at the venue you notice the name, “Papa’s Go-Karts”  and for some, odd reason you find it fitting. Though, there was no chance that you would be able to explain or even justify why you think so, but if you tried, you could say that it was just a homey sort of name that reminded you of Karasuno and the accepting nature they have. 

When you walk into the building you notice a familiar face; ‘hmm, Kenji? Haven't seen you in a hot minute.’ You shoot him a smirk which he gladly reciprocates.

‘Yeah, you're right babes,’ you scoff and gag at the sickenly sweet pet name. Futakuchi feigns innocence as he whines out an overly dramatic, ‘aww, babes! You act like we didn't spend an hour or so picking up trash together this morning.’ 

You raise an eyebrow but before your lovely banter can continue on further, you remember the reason you're here in the first place, ‘yeah yeah, listen up futacoochie-dear, we’re here to make a difference in the world and we will start by building a go-kart. That's all good, yeah?’ You laugh in his face at his shocked expression.

‘Futa-coochie did you say? I cant believe i called you a cute name and you go ahead and call me fucking coochie!’ You continue to laugh along with Nishinoya who happened to witness the entire situation. 

‘Sorry to interrupt,’ says Ennoshita, ‘but I’ve got us two go-karts, and we can get working on them in the garage.’ 

✄.

‘So,’ you start off, ‘where do we start?’ 

‘We dismember the one on the left!’ Yells Nishinoya, you turn to look at him but before you get the chance to question, Yachi gives you the answer;

‘He’s right Yn! We often dismantle the go-karts and remake them for fun and for competitions! If we know how to build a go-kart then we’re one step closer to figuring out how to hydro power them,’ Yachi’s looking at you with a wide smile and you can’t help but send one back. 

✄.

Dismantling the go-kart proved no real issues, it was actually putting it back together that caused problems. Everyone had different ideas that clashed. It wasn't until Ennoshita decided that we should split into teams and have a competition to decide which way was a better way. So with Yachi on your team the two of you easily dismantle the other go-kart, and with your obviously good chemistry and not to mention, you both have a similar way you want the go-kart to go so you were confident in winning the competition. 

After an hour the go karts are ready to be tested… you had certain expectations for your kart, such as you expected it to be able to move. But it didn't. 

Nishinoya is toppled over laughing, ‘I- it didn't even move!’ he wheezes. 

You face away and you feel your face heat up; ‘y-yeah that’s a bummer.’ Next to you is Yachi who’s crouched on the ground with her head between her arms.

Ennoshita places his hand on your shoulder, ‘well that’s all good. You are up against our head engineer’ he motions to Nishinoya, ‘on the bright side your car had a good design and if it had worked it would have been faster because it had a more simple design.’ You unknowingly make a confused face, which he would have interpreted as you not quite getting it; ‘air resistance slows down moving objects - so in this case the go-kart, when an object is large, bulky and strangely shaped the air catches on to the surface and then the air resistance gets larger-’

‘Think of swimming in water! When you move you feel resistance pushing back on you, proving difficult to move as free as you would on land, air resistance is basically the same thing.’ 

Ennoshita glares at Nishonya, ‘well yes. He's right but I was getting there!’

You smile at them, ‘I see. I guess that means the less space an object takes up, the easier it can move.’

The boys smile in return, ‘yep!’

✄.

‘Iwa-pooooooh! Don't you get it! I just don't like her so what!’

‘Shut it! Trashykawa! I can't believe you just ignored her request for help! What is wrong with you! You fucking idiot!’

Oikawa stands up straight and looks at him, ‘listen… I just don’t like her. I'm not sure why but there's something about her that annoys the shit out of me.’

‘Is it perhaps because they don't like you?’ Oikawa flinches at the accusation and Iwaizumi sighs and lowers his tone, ‘she’s my childhood crush and i’ve been somewhat reunited with them. You're my best friend yeah? So can't you just take one for the team and deal with them?’

This time oikawa sighs, ‘I can try I guess… but only for you Iwa-pooh~’ and just like that he was back to his usual, irritatingly cheerful self. 

✄.

The blue sky is slowly dissipating into harmonious patches of orange and pink. ‘It looks beautiful, doesn't it?” 

You jump slightly at the unexpected but in no way unwelcomed voice, ‘yeah. It’s like something out of a fairytale.’

There is a small content huff and you finally turn around to see Iwaizumi looking out into the horizon with a tranquil smile on his face. 

You smile looking at the sight, ‘that’s a rare look. When we were children you only wore boyish grins and child-like frowns.’

He lets out a sound of confusion - as if he did not believe what you had said, ‘is that so?’ he chuckles a bit, ‘well, that look is usual for you. You’ve always had a kind smile on your face.’

Taglist: @dadchi-oya @cutepet09

[one-spidey-boii]

BUMMER SUMMER || peter parker; ch eight

read ch seven here

masterlist

an; my back has been killing me lately and all i wanna do is sleep you guys it’s no good. but i’ll tell you what is good...yellow starbursts. i’m losing my mind, enjoy the chapter :))

warnings; mentions of battle wounds (i.e. blood/scars/etc), future smut, mature language, fluff, angst, both peter and oc are 18+!!

word count; 2.3k+

edie's pov

peter and i sit together on the edge of the bed for what feels like forever. my head rests on his shoulder as he gently rocks me back and forth and his hands rub small circles along my back. neither of us say a word as seconds turn to minutes and the rise and fall of our chests settle in sync with one another.

i want to push away the small seed of doubt that brews in my stomach. it crawls up and wraps itself around my heart, squeezing just enough so i won't forget it’s there. i can't help but wonder why this is happening, and why now? my heart stings at the possibility that this was just under circumstance. the fact that we are the only two people here and he may see me as his only form of...release. but i knew peter wasn't like that. he isn't.

peter's lips move to my ear, "i'm so sorry, edie." he whispers. i raise my head slowly, all the nerves and doubt rise to the surface of my brain.

"wh-what?" i say doe-eyed. my arms unclasp from behind his neck and i begin to slide off of his warm, inviting lap. before i can, his grip on my waist tighten and he pulls me back to his chest, impossibly close. i ignore the throb in my side.

"look at me, please." he begs. i meet his gaze and swallow thickly, giving him a tiny nod to continue, "i can't tell you how...horrible i feel that this happened to you," he pauses to lift my shirt up ever so slowly and trace my side, "i know it was my turn to go out a-and this wouldn't have happened if i just talked to you." peter's voice cracks as he says the words and his eyes begin to water. the glassy look in them make my stomach twist.

my lips turn downward in a frown, this is not what i was expecting, "you couldn't have known," i reply, confused at his guilt, "i'm glad it was m-me and not you," i say matter-of-factly, my eyes begin to water along with his.

peter moves his hands onto either side of my face, holding me there gently, "what are you talking about? i would've been completely healed by now, without as much as a scratch. edie, i wish every second that passes it was me." i frown more at this.

"but i'm getting through it. just because my body isn't enhanced like yours doesn't mean i can't get back up just as strong. it happened to me, peter. i have to live with this and i don't want you wishing it upon yourself." this time i slide completely off his lap and onto my own feet. his hands reach out for me, but i step back and shake my head.

"no, peter, im serious. and-" i stop talking before i can finish my thought, not wanting the words to hit the space between us. peter pushes back.

"go on, what were you going to say?" he presses, rising to his own feet. i shake my head vigorously, "it doesn't matter."

"yes. it does." he says, his voice growing deeper. i continue to shake my head. i don't want to say it, because if it's true- it would hurt more than getting stabbed in the side.

"just say it!" he snaps at me as his hands come up to grip my upper arms. i yelp and stumble back at the force of it. my body shakes as i throw his hands away from me.

"i can't! i don't want to believe that you're doing this out of pity because of this stupid scar. or that you're only touching me because you're bored of touching yourself! i don't even know why you would want to. i mean, have you fucking seen it?" i yell, my voice cracking, finally spilling out the toxic thoughts that have been eating away at me. i'm so exhausted.

peter takes a step back, away from me, "is that what you think this is?" he whispers. his eyes hold nothing but sorrow.

"i don't know, pete." i reply, absolutely defeated. without thinking, i back up to the wall and slide down until my butt hits the floor. when wet paint meets with my skin, i groan and shove my head into my hands. nothing seems to make sense anymore. does peter really feel something for me? am i the blind one?

soon enough, peter crouches in front of me. he gently pushes my legs apart so that he can rest between them. and i let him. he brings his hands to rest on the wall by either side of my head. he leans in close, i can feel his breath on my cheeks. i lower my own hands and look at him, challenging him to say something, anything. his eyes flicker over my face, resting on each feature until they land on my lips. i absentmindedly part and wet them with my tongue. he meets my eyes again and leans in until our noses touch.

"believe me when i say this, edie wolfe, you will always be so much more to me than this," he moves one hand, now covered in wet paint, to trace my scar covered side, the cold liquid makes me shiver. i nod my head slowly, choosing not to say a word.

instead, i lean in towards him until our lips ghost over each other. i shiver again at the mere of idea of him closing the gap and making this real. all my efforts to push away my feelings are failing me. and that's okay. i want it to be real. i want to push away all the doubt and fear and just feel him.

in a beautiful moment, peter finally leans in the rest of the way and his slightly chapped lips meet mine in a soft kiss. it’s not a long embrace. he pulls back and tries to speak, but i'm too quick too connect our lips again. i need this. i need him.

i eagerly place one hand on his bicep and the other around his neck, pulling him into me. his other paint covered hand comes to rest on my cheek, making me gasp at the chill.

my slightly parted lips give no objection to peter as he takes advantage of the opportunity and slips his tongue in, deepening the kiss. his grip on my side tightens and i arch my back into his body, suddenly finding him too far away. he eagerly grabs both of my hips and hastily flips us around so that his back is to the wall and i'm sitting in his lap once again. my hands steady themselves on the wall and are quickly covered in paint just like his.

i want to say the moment stayed sweet and soft, but neither one of us could hold back as the kiss grew hot and needy. i slip my hands in peter's hair and tug on the roots, causing him to utter a moan that tightens the coil in my stomach. wanting to hear him more, i tug harder and suck his bottom lip between my teeth, biting down lightly. when he lets out a deep groan from the back of his throat, i smile with satisfaction against his lips.

"oh shut up." he whispers and moves to suck on my jaw. i let out a sigh as he trails kisses from my neck to my collarbone, stopping every so often to bite down and leave a mark on my now flushed skin.

"i like it when you do that." i whisper softly and breathily, hoping i'm loud enough for him to hear. he bites down harshly on my neck and it makes me suck in a harsh breath of air.

"oh really?" he asks, his lips trailing back up to mine, leaving a light kiss before he moves to my ear, "i quite like the feeling of you right here." he teases and gently bites at my earlobe. then he grinds his hips up into mine and we both let out moans into the hot air shared between us.

"do that again." i plead, with my eyes closed and lips trailing to bite at his shoulder.

"yes ma'am." he replies back, causing me to smile as he raises his hips up to grind against my own. it's then that i finally notice the prominent feeling of him pressed against my core, separated by only a few layers of fabric. i groan at the feeling and the thought of those layers no longer being a hinderance.

peter pulls me in for one more kiss before speaking again, "now do you see what you do to me, wolfie?" i nod my head sheepishly, finding it hard to come up with the right words. my cheeks flush and i lean in for more of his electrifying embrace, but he stops me short.

"we should quit right here before i get carried away." he says, out of breath, his eyes filled with lust- it makes them look almost black.

"what if i want you to get carried away?" i tease, my moral compass tipping over its limits, and this time i move my hips down into his, hoping to relieve the pressure building up inside of me.

he clicks his tongue at me, "tsk, tsk, don't want to get too crazy so soon." his eyes twinkle with mischief.

before i can even react, he swipes two paint covered fingers across my cheeks and lets out a hearty laugh. i look at him in disbelief before i grab for the paint tray, slapping my entire hand into it and running it down the length of his face. peter's shocked face only lasts a second before the mischief returns.

i squeal and jump up from his lap, just missing his stretched out arms as he tries to grab me. i race to the other side of the room and into the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

with a huge smile, i yell, "ha! try and catch me now." with which he just slowly waltzes up to the door and jiggles the locked doorknob.

"don't you remember when i ripped your door off it's hinges last night?" he says pointedly. my smile drops at the truth of his words.

"pfft, well, i need to take a shower. so you'll just have to go solve your little...problem on your own, peter parker!" i yell from the back of the bathroom and turn on the shower. i can't stop the smirk that spreads across my face at the thought of him still rock hard beneath his shorts.

i hear a huff behind the door, "i would never force you to do anything you didn't want to do," peter pouts. i laugh at the silly boy.

"i know you wouldn't, pete, but i am gonna take a shower. somehow the paint got alllll over me." i reply, playing the innocent card. he chuckles from his spot.

"okay, wolfie. i'll see you for dinner, yeah?" he asks softly.

i nod my head with a dumb smile on my face before remembering he can't see me, so i call out, "where else would i be?"

i listen to his footsteps until they're down the hall and out of earshot. i close my eyes and let out a deep breath of relief, leaning against the bathroom sink.

peter's pov

after sheepishly walking back to my own room and cleaning the paint away from my skin, i flop on the bed and take care of my own situation. a part of me is relieved i can let my thoughts drift to edie without feeling guilty for the way i think about her. at least i think i can? i don't know, is it okay now?

shaking the thought away, i, yanno, finish, and make my way to the kitchen to whip something up for the both of us. i dance my way through grabbing all the ingredients i need as i hum an old song.

my groove is interrupted by an angry red alarm blaring throughout the room. i snap out of it and run to the nearest control board on the wall, trying to search for what had tripped the alarm.

a red circle envelopes one of the back doors that leads to the outdoor training grounds. without hesitation, i run to the door and stop short when i see no one there. still, i cautiously survey the area and stand my ground.

as i thought before, there's no one in sight. not one person or animal or anything. i begin to walk away when a piece of paper stands out on the tile floor. it must have been pushed under the door. i pick it up and read through the handwritten words- ten, twenty times before my heart sinks into my feet.

'glad to see your girl has healed up quite nicely. don't you worry though- we're not done yet.'

footsteps come running from around the corner and i turn sharply on my heel to see edie, soaking wet and wrapped up in a towel.

"what was that? is everything okay?" she says, eyes wide and curious. i quickly hide the crude note behind my back and swallow, it feels like i'm trying to digest a rock.

"n-nothing. just the mailman, he came to the wrong door and it set off the alarm. nothing to worry about here." i say, hoping i played that off well, but i know she can see right through me.

i don't even think we have a mailman.

|| taglist; @my-patronus-is-mabel-pines @whycantileaveyou @lovewolfspirit @kitykatnumber @franksholland @goddamnit5sos

[swishandflickwit]

Marichat — the season of giving 1/1

Summary: He remained on the floor as he sorted his thoughts. Marinette told him to make himself at home, yet prior to this moment she had always made it clear that he wasn't to touch her stuff. Was he really going to betray her trust and disobey her direct and concise command, all to satisfy his indomitable curiosity?

This time, he did not hesitate.

Yup!

Words: 3.1k

Rating: General Audiences

Also on ff.net | AO3

Other writing

For Selina, who saw me—the good and the bad—and still, chose to stay. 

"Marinette?”

Chat Noir called hesitantly as he dropped in from her unlocked skylight and onto her bed. He’d been out on a solo patrol when he received a message through his baton from her, asking he come over as soon as he was able and that she'd leave the door open for him. Not 15 minutes into his patrol but deciding Paris was safe just then (or, as safe as it could be with Hawkmoth still at large after two years of measly Akumas), he set his course for her home.

Her missive had been far from urgent but Marinette was his friend. When it came to them, to her, there was no such thing as too secure. He found it was with good reason, as a quick examination revealed that she wasn't in her chambers. His heart kicked into overdrive. Though nothing appeared disturbed nor was it suggested that there had been a scuffle or a break-in, it was still with heightened suspicion that he took in her room and noted her trap door was ajar. But then—

“Just a second!”

Her sweet, nightingale voice wafted from beyond her entryway and the sound—so crisp and sonorous and alive—had him breathing a hefty sigh of relief.

“Everything okay?” he returned, if only to quiet the little doubts that festered his mind (and would undoubtedly remain till he could see her and touch her for himself).

“Yup,” she continued. “Just, make yourself at home!”

Oh, he mused. Now that he could do—and with almost embarrassing ease. The thought of being alone in this particular place might have filled him with tension if he hadn't all ready been tasting the remnants of his satisfaction of knowing she was all right. And maybe… maybe he was brimming with excitement—a little mischief too! Though visits to Marinette's were frequent occurrences whether he was Chat Noir or Adrien (admittedly, he came over as Chat Noir more often than the latter), an overture to her room was an uncommon privilege indeed, and even then, without exception, he was consigned to her chaise (because you unfurl a whole basket of yarn one time and suddenly you're forever branded a naughty kitty, sheesh). It was kind of a bummer, really. He may have been the one with an apartment for a room but Marinette's was spectacular in that, it was a perfect reflection of her beautiful mind—cluttered sure, but charming and lovely and creative, too. He could tell as much from his banishment place on her lounge and without closer perusal.

But now, she had left him here without supervision, which basically meant he had carte blanche, which basically meant he could look and touch which basically meant he planned to take full advantage of this rare stroke of luck—wasn’t there something about curiosity and cats, after all?

A perk of an ear towards her doorway had him surmising she was rummaging for something in the kitchen, and ascertained she wouldn't be coming up any time soon. On habitually silent feet, he descended her loft and prowled first to her dresser beneath, where most of her possessions lay.

(At the foot of her steps sat the elusive basket of yarn. The temptation to unwind the tightly woven, flaxen thread was compelling enough to stop him in his tracks. He dropped beside them and bit his lip. “Later,” he promised the glistening, colorful, spun wool as he ran a gloved finger lovingly carefully over the nearest roll)

Lingering on his crouch, he clambered closer to her desk till only his eyes were visible over the wooden ledge. He scrutinized the contents of her workspace with the same intensity as a detective in a crime scene, which may have been stupid but would he have discovered such a gem as this, if he hadn't? The gem, of course, being—

Her sketchbook.

It shouldn't have been so peculiar as to pique him. Marinette was a fashion designer and had no such qualms showing her designs (although, she was usually cautious about whom and where she showed it after the whole Hat Contest Debacle). But this was not just any one sketchbook, too. It was the sketchbook. The one bound in black leather—the smell of it so lemony and new and, well, leathery that he felt his knees weaken when he took a big whiff; he did so love leather—with the thickset drawing paper. It was the one she only ever brought out when she was around him, Chat Noir him, and yet never permitted him to see.

He reached out a hand to touch it.

Then just as quickly used the other to hold it back, the force of his clutch so dominant he knocked himself flat on his back.

He huffed a frustrated breath—though with whom it was directed to was anybody's guess.

He remained on the floor as he sorted his thoughts. Marinette told him to make himself at home, yet prior to this moment she had always made it clear that he wasn't to touch her stuff. Was he really going to betray her trust and disobey her direct and concise command, all to satisfy his indomitable curiosity?

This time, he did not hesitate.

Yup!

He rose and meandered to her table once more, affecting an unhurried amble if only to declare he wasn't too eager a kitty in case someone happened to catch him unawares. Which she wouldn’t, of course, because he was a professional. And he was dignified okay? He wasn't a wild animal! He had class and self-respect and self-contr—

He slammed the pad open.

And was robbed of all breath.

He turned the paper, and another and another, and like a sucker punch to the gut, he was struck by the images before him every time.

What…?

“You found it.”

Startled, he spun and tripped over his feet, his bottom landing sharply against the edge of her desk.

(So she had caught him)

“I-I'm sorry,” he stammered, panting as if he had run a marathon mere seconds ago. “I'm so, so, so sorry, Marinette—”

“Hey,” she murmured, placing the tray he failed to notice she had been carrying on her chaise before approaching him. A frown marred her delicate features and his panic escalated at having been the one to put it there. “I wasn't, I mean, I was but I-I didn't—I didn't know—”

“It's all right, minou,” she soothed. She rubbed circles in the space between his shoulder blades and he closed his eyes. With her simple touch, so lambent and familiar, she drained him of his tension. It shouldn't have surprised him. Her presence had the natural ability to bring him such warmth, it was powerful enough to melt even his most frigid anxieties.

With a final deep and cleansing breath, green eyes peered at her and found a sheepish smile stretched across her lips. He thumbed gently at an upstretched corner, before gliding smoothly to the dip of her chin where he stayed.

“I'm sorry,” he repeated more calmly though no less sincere. She shook her head.

“Don't be,” she insisted, withdrawing the hand at his back so she could wrap it around the wrist that cupped her face. She gave a genial squeeze. “If anything, I should be sorry. I should have made it more clear, I'm relieved you found it.” It was her turn to breathe in deeply. With her eyes closed and her nose scrunched, she was utterly adorable. He wanted to hug her and he would have, if his nerves hadn't returned tenfold at the intent way she beheld him when she pronounced her next words.

“I wanted you to find it.”

His arms fell limp at his sides, perplexity making a rag doll of him. He found it incomprehensible that she would want him to seek it at all, and a million and one questions spun in his brain—why had she done this? What for? Why did she want him to find it? Why here? Why now?

But a simple, “Why?” was all he managed to splutter.

A blush filled her cheeks though for once, she did not tear her gaze away.

“You know how, when most people give gifts, they like to wait for the receiver's reaction?”

She didn't wait for an answer as she barreled on, not that he could have given her one anyway, seeing as his brain was stuck on the word gift.

“Yeah, I'm not one of those people,” she tittered nervously. “I didn't have the courage to hand it to you directly so I left it and a couple of meaningfully crafted words in the hopes that your curiosity would do the rest. It's actually nice,” she teased, levity trickling into her articulation, “how that one's without fail.”

“Me-owch,” he quipped, though a crooked grin still stole across his lips.

She rolled her eyes even as she laughed. “Those terrible puns, too.”

“Like you can do any better!”

“I'm a-pawlled you think I'm not claw-ver or punny enough to deliver the purr-fect lines—”

He gaped. “Oh my god.”

“Purr-haps you should consider the paw-ssibility that my litter-acy in the art of puns is purr-etty paw-esome—”

Two in a row! He was laughing so hard, he had to grasp her shoulders to keep upright. “Marinette.”

“And if you were my real furr-end you would sup-pawrt me with a better cat-titude than that. Don't you find me hiss-terical?”

Without quite knowing how, his arms had twined themselves around her shoulders and waist till his body was a perfect extension of hers, his tremors echoing through her as his laughs dwindled into sobs. Marinette bore it the way only Marinette could, with an understanding that negated the need for words... with that soft and quiet comfort only she could provide, as she knotted her arms around him in kind and became home. Because as he had lately come to realize, home was so much more than an incomplex word, it was a feeling, and it wasn’t so much a place but a person and this—she—was it.

She was what truly made a home.

“Merry Christmas, Chat Noir,” she averred mellifluously into the damp skin of his neck. “Or Hanukkah or, you know, whatever it is you celebrate. Happy holidays, from me to you.”

He held her to him tighter. “I don't even know where to begin thanking you.”

“Well, maybe you can tell me if you liked it?”

He pulled back just enough so that he was but half an arm's length away, limbs resting firmly on her shoulders. He shook his head, and her face fell. Then, with a knuckle, he tipped her chin up so that their gazes collided, green eyes brimming with unmistakable clarity.

“‘Like’ is… it's too small,” he whispered vehemently. “I just—thank you. A hundred, no,” he pecked her cheeks, “a thousand times,” he kissed her neck and she squealed, peels of laughter rumbling from her chest to his, “a million times,” he whispered as he framed her hips and kissed her forehead, “a billion, billion times,” and tinkling giggles gave way to heated sighs of indulgence, “a trillion times,” he soughed, making pathways of her face where he found respite on her chin, and rest on the corner of her mouth.

“Thank you,” he asserted.

I love you.

The words writhed and slithered in his brain, between the spaces where his impulses thrummed from one neuron to another, because his body was fuelled and Marinette was the fire that ignited his senses, little sparks of longing spiraling the length of his spine and blooming along the muscles of his arms so that they pulled her flush to him before he could even catch up with the direction of his mind.

I love you, he thought, unbidden. And though he was very much in love with Ladybug, when it came to Marinette—he found he quite meant it, anyway.

I love you, the intimation burned his throat.

“I love it,” he affirmed instead, tongue laden with blacken soot and the taste of ash in his mouth.

He bit his lip. Some brave lion he was! But it wasn't fair anyway—he couldn't give away parts of himself when both Marinette and Ladybug deserved more. They deserved the very best parts of someone, no matter if it were with him or another, so long as they received everything.

So he cupped her face and spoke with his eyes instead, in the hopes she might hear that which he could not yet find it in himself to say—that she might feel what he so badly wanted to reveal.

“I'm glad,” she hummed, palms molding to the curve of his own cheeks as she wiped away the remnants of his liquid emotions. Then the smile slid from her lips as a concerned frown took its place. “But something tells me you're… bothered?”

“I just…” the tips of his ears sunk into his head as he tilted his head down, silken strands brushing the bangs that lined her forehead. He struggled to grasp at the words. “I don't—”

So of course Marinette would seamlessly evince the painful right ones.

“You think you don't deserve it.”

“It’s too much.”

And it was. Marinette had given him more than a gift, it felt like she had given him freedom—she had given him life. A sketchbook with page upon page of images of him in various, almost intimate, occasions. An amusement-invoking portrait of him doubled over in laughter—so life-like—he felt the giggles reverberating in his belly. There was a depiction of one of his battles so precise in its likeliness that impossible though it may have been, it was as if she was by his side when it had occurred—a testament to Marinette's genuine talent, of that he had no doubt. Then there were the pictures that made him blush, not because it contained any scandal or debauchery, rather for it's innocence—a delineation of his profile in saddened thought, his whole face downcast from his limp locks and trodden eyebrows to the decline of his mouth. There were illustrations of his form in quiet repose just as there were of him in agitated slumber, naps he had taken in the periods when he'd visit but collapse beneath the weight of his exhaustion because he trusted her enough to let his guard down. There were sketches of his hands, his eyes, his mouth… and through it all were traces of Marinette—from her subtle signatures, to the way every line or curve was purposely done and to the evident consideration for each drawing. Because she had taken him in, had looked her fill and inspected all of him, from the literal and figurative mask he wore to the deepest, darkest, ugliest fragments of him and still, she hadn't found him lacking. Still—

She had made him beautiful.

“Why?” he asked again, voice hoarse with the aching need to know.

“Oh, minou,” she cooed, yet the vehemence with which she spoke thrummed forcefully through his veins and straight into his heart. “Because you do deserve it. Because I don't think you realize how wonderful you are. Because I believe not enough people appreciate you but I hope you know that I do. Because I wanted to,” he was hyperventilating, he was dreaming, “but above everything else—it's because I see you, Chat Noir. Here,” with one hand, she brushed feather-light fingers along the length of his forehead, “and here."

With that same artist's hand, she outlined him, from the side of his face to his neck, digits charting filigree across his collarbones till she settled on the space above where his heart lay, and every point in which she touched him felt engraved into his very soul.

“I see you,” she blazed, “and you're magnificent,” passion in her words and fire in her caress. “You. are. good.”

His tears streamed afresh. It made waterfalls of his face and splashed onto Marinette's skin as he closed his eyes and rested his forehead atop hers.

“If I am good,” he confessed, “it’s only because I have you to remind me.”

“You give me too much credit,” she giggled even as her face transformed into a rose.

“Not nearly,” he shook his head, gazing at her solemnly. “Not enough.”

She conceded with a gratified purr and again, the words boiled at just short of his lips.

“I—” he tried, choking at the efforts. But he wasn't ready, and like smoke, it had gone.

“I know.”

(And though he shouldn't have been surprised, it was any wonder how she heard it at all)

She nuzzled his nose with her own and for more than a couple heartbeats, they remained. It was as if time suspended just for the two of them, that they might have this quiet moment and have it be prolonged in its perfection.

“Can I show you through it?”

“Again and again, till you tire of it, Princess,” he returned. “And even then, once more.”

They took the forgotten mugs of hot (now cold but no less scrumptious) chocolate and a couple of blankets up to her rooftop where they settled onto her chaise, his back against the lounge and hers to his front. She weaved stories of her experiences for each etching—what they had been doing and what they had been speaking of. Some he remembered (his favorite being that of her gorgeous rendering of the landscape from the balcony he had taken her to the first time he sought her out for no other reason than to bask in her presence), but most were lost in Marinette's private recollections and from her own unassuming observations, in the moments when he allowed his vulnerability to cloud their time together—because he had been tired and because he had been sincerely happy.

When she had finished, he made himself a haven as she fell back against his shoulder and slumped over in exhaustion. He wrapped the blanket tighter around her svelte frame, and from its place by their knees, he regarded the sheepskin book. Honestly, it was a work of art. But it left him exposed, and he felt naked at her scrutiny but—strangely strong, too. Because if Marinette had stripped him, it was only so she could build and shape and forge him anew.

“Merry Christmas, Marinette,” he whispered, as he pressed a kiss onto the crown of her head.

So though the gift had been a culmination of his portraits, he couldn't help but feel—watching the steady and reassuring rise and fall of her chest, sleep-warm skin seeping through his suit and into the marrow of his bones… the sunset casting a halo around her raven locks and breathing embers onto her flesh—

The true gift had been her.

AN: Happy holidays everyone!

[frogsandfries]

I know this is stupid but

I kept screenshots of my texted break up conversation.

And today, I changed the lock screen on my phone to see if it would help me trace those sprites. It didn't, and I wanted to change my wallpaper back. I ended up finding the Pokemon to scale silhouette poster that I saved to remind me to buy it one day, and changed it to that.

I also found my Crystal Gems wallpaper, so I'm really glad I kept that.

Unfortunately, as I mentioned, I also found the screenshots. And it makes me angry. I mean, my ex says I used them. But I was the one who worked. Driving me to work wasn't a problem until I started pushing them to also work.

I paid their phone bill. For like a year! WHO'S USING WHO!?! I got shafted filing my taxes this year because they made such a stink about working, I had to empty my meager rIRA to make rent.

Like, really pushing, not just being like "how's the job search? Oh that's a bummer, well keep trying, you'll land something." But like, try this, let's try this, okay you don't like this, let's try a different agency. My problem was sometimes, the job was simply too dirty for my asthma. Like this job that I have right now, but I'm driven. I have goals and once I meet those goals, I'm gonna bounce.

I gave them the benefit of the doubt. I doubted, but I didn't want to be cynical or critical. They always had the same fucking excuse "I try to call while you're asleep and you shush me." Which I doubted a lot because their "phone calls" never, ever woke me. What did wake me: The dogs, at two in the afternoon. People coming over. Sometimes the house phone. Then I quit Wal-Mart and I was like, we're never going to get out of your parents' house on one income. I also doubted they were actually looking even more once I too was looking. I should've made more calls, but I also got a lot. A lot of scammy calls, sure.

After our first year, I thought it was safe to express my enthusiasm in starting a family. Eventually--like when we weren't living with their parents because jeezis christ I would rather have lived in a cardboard box as a single parent than put up with that parents of that disaster trying to parent over my shoulder. And as I've mentioned previously, that's when the physical intimacy stopped for me. Which was shitty, in my opinion. They even accused me of sabotaging the condoms. Because they thought that way about me oh my gaaaaawwwwd why did I stay even after that?!!?

I bought food for both of us, and when I mentioned them slouching around the house, they always whined about not doing nothing--they did the housework, the dishes, cleaned the bathroom, negotiated my stay with their parents (they sabotaged my stay there anyway by always trashing me to their parents, which I didn't realize till I quit Wal-Mart). Let me reiterate. For a person who never left the house. (Unless they had to drive me to work, grocery shopping, or to get the fuck out of the house.) I paid their phone bill. I EVEN BOUGHT A PHONE TO BRING THEM TO THE NETWORK I WOULD PAY FOR. For like a year!! What the fuck is wrong with me???

Can I just. They got away with soooooo much shitty behavior in this relationship. I've been questioning the truth of their previous relationship. They always told me their last two partners cheated on them. One was dating a marine and cheating on him and the guy tried to kick my ex's ass. I had no reason to disbelieve, but now I wonder. I wonder if my ex was really as much the victim as they claimed. Not that it matters to me, but I wonder what their next partner will hear about me. But honestly, what are the chances that my path will ever cross theirs or that of any of their future partners.

They may have done the dishes, sometimes, but usually their mother did them because I always did them "wrong". One time (specifically; generally, I cleaned fairly regularly, when the dog hair got to be just a liiiiiiiiittle too much), I cleaned the room. It was filthy. There was sooooo much crap on the floor. I always had to snake the drain in the bathroom. I bought gas. I bought Starbucks. Like all the time. I don't understand how my ex felt used when really, all they did was bitch about me to their parents and play fucking video games. Like, all the fucking time. And. Yet. They. Have. The. Gall. To. Say. They. Felt. Used.

They. Are the one who wanted me back in the house the first time. I should've bought a fucking propane heater the first time and said hasta la fuckin vista, I'll be here and you can deal with it orrr not.

Sure, they bought me a desk. It was on clearance at Wal-Mart. That desk was pretty awesome, just out of scale to me. They bought it to get me out of their hair. And then they always bitched about how cluttered and messy it was.....

I knew I should've gotten out of that relationship ages before.

It's just, I kinda got caught up trying the middle class life.... it was kinda nice to be in a house....But it was not worth the.... passive aggression, the constant toxicity and being shit on for this and that stupid, petty thing. So maybe I did use them. But they used me in a far more malicious way.

Oh and for the record, your scab is not a scar. I get little cuts all the time and they don't turn into scars. I have scars. I have scars from picking scabs as a kid, getting stiches, and even from being careless in woodshop. It used to drive me fucking crazy when my ex would call their babyass, scabbed-over cuts 'scars'. It also used to fucking drive me off the wall when I was trying to brush my teeth and there would be shaved stubble all over the faucet and the counter. I asked nicely one time when I had just had enough, if they could clean up better after shaving and their mother told me, sometimes you just have to put up with quirks ._. um, thanks, because I'm not fucking talking to you and this is a one thing that I'm asking special. It's not like I'm asking and expecting them to actually snake the drain and do the mopping and sweeping and wipe the ceiling. Which are all things their mother asked them to do all the time and they said they would and never did.

So my ex might've sworn up and down their parents would miss them when they moved out, and my dumb ass took them at their word that they would actually move out. Unlike me, where even if the woman who gave birth to me didn't make me twice as fucking crazy as my ex, I'm super independent and I can't wait to get my license and be a million miles from that woman. Plus, have my own, rent-free living situation.

BUT

Let us never forget.

When the truck broke down because some overgrown adult baby quit their job. And they were stuck driving me to work and then driving back home, instead of, y'know, say, their own job somewhere else. And they "didn't have money" to fix their truck.

Then they were trapped in the house in the middle of fucking nowhere. Because their truck was broke down. Because they quit and had to drive me to work and that's why they couldn't get a job.

It was my responsibility to fix their truck.

Let me just say, I'm framing this as, The reason they were making this trip to drop me off, go home, come back, pick me up, go home, five times a week. Was because they quit what was really, an easy money job. Sure, you could skip that step, and frame this whole thing as my fault the truck broke because I don't have my license. They could have sabotaged me as well by refusing to take me to work.

Since this was only a few months into what I already felt was a doomed relationship, I should've just accepted responsibility and said, if I'm already fucking up your life this bad, get your daddy to fix it, byeee. Instead I thought staying was a better way to accept responsibility for something I never actually believed was my fault. And this is the story of how it was me who broke somebody's heart and whatever.

Actually, I mention I have goals right now, and I'm pursuing them. Doggedly. Like that myth about pitbulls having locking jaws--I've locked my jaws on making up for 2017 with 2018. And maybe 2019.

I would love to hear my ex's side of this, once and for all, and not in a knock down, drag out, two drunk white chicks way. I know we all see the best in ourselves and we never want to own that we might be the bad guy in something. I would like to hear their justification for claiming I used them, when I'm the one who felt used all the time. I even felt like I wasn't allowed to shine while I was with my ex, like I had to pull up the reigns and dim my passion, be less productive. That I had to let my ex think they were a better creator than me. They actually scorned the root of who I am, when I whipped up emergency solutions or homebaked solutions when I might not want to pay for a 'proper' solution. It's really dreadful, but I feel like half our relationship was because I wanted to make up for their stupid fucking truck, even though I felt, the title was in their hands, and even if I had my license, we talked about how they still wouldn't let me drive their truck, so even if I had my license, they would've had to drive me to work. So I would say that nullifies any responsibility I had in any of it.

Anyway. Truth is, unless, in the infinitesimal chance that I happen to date one of my ex's exes and find out what this person was told about me, I will never find out what was going on in my ex's head.

I wish after I'd come back from Milwaukee, I had just faced that I wouldn't be able to return while housing was an issue, and just gone for a conversion van. I could've been able to finish the van over the summer and be back to school the following school year...... Why did I sacrifice the things I believed in, the things I was passionate and excited about for someone who didn't believe and wasn't excited.....?

Furthermore, why do I keep those screencaps on my phone.....

I've already come to peace that I dodged a bullet not getting married to that pathetic mess. In fact, I think I only cried until I realized the only thing I was crying about was that I was technically homeless, and in the grasp of my very first abuser. I wasn't really upset over the loss of the relationship. I was upset over the betrayal. I was upset over the loss of the job that slipped through my fingers. I was upset that I wasted my precious time on someone who never wanted the same things I did. Someone who never wanted to support me; just to receive all the support.

I realized we were always out of sync. I thought that wasn't important, but it really really is. I'm really a super chill person. Too chill. I like the term partner because it really encompasses all that I want and need from another person with whom I would share my life: I need an equal, and it doesn't have to be someone who lights a Hollywood style love at first sight fireworks show in my head. That's where the too chill comes in.

I always thought I would be the one who would accept the love that came to me, and I would be the mature one to grow into that like, arranged marriage style love you hear about. Actually, I kind of still do, but more than that, I'm just gonna have a kid and try to raise it to be more social than me....

I don't necessarily need to work the same job, but I do need someone interested in making their own paycheck. I don't need wet kisses, just a good orgasm, for them to not act like it's a chore, because feeling like I'm a chore rather than a pleasure diminishes my pleasure. I don't need someone to do the cooking; we can share. Also, I can cook. Just not under pressure. I need someone who is cool with my choice/decision to be rent-free. I need someone to be cool with my pulling solutions out of what I have. Someone who loves my creative passions, and instead of trashing on me for "never finishing", guides me to have more focus.

But it just seems like such a tall order for someone who never goes Out. I just go to my money job and come home and do my passion job. Which right now, is hard. I don't have a desk or even a shelf and everything is in utter chaos, which is why I wonder if I should make my desk first for the van and I'll just sleep on the floor.

This ramble has gone on waaaay too long.... sorry.