#that convo is literally me.

[yanoverload]

F3mb0ycoõmer sent $2000 dollars: Could you please count to five and tell me I did good?

Ramune: Who do you sick fucks think I am? Your girlfriend? Your sad poor hand that you use to jack off that small limp dick? That money isn't even enough for me to say I can stand near you.. Ugh you're all insufferable pathetic insects it almost makes me depressed.

Also Ramune: I told darling they could ask for anything and I would get it for them and they asked me for 10 chicken nuggets. TEN.

Darling: maybe 5 then?

Ramune: I JUST GOT 6K AFTER SHOWING MY ASS. YOU COULD ASK FOR A HUMAN SIZED NUGGET MADE BY GORDON RAMSEY HIMSELF.

Darling:.... 15?

[azuneekun]

i misunderstood a convo with my friend @harvestdew

[moongothic]

Crocodad AU where immidiately after having left Dragon and his baby boy Crocodile finds an 11 year old Robin. And while he's 100% only recruiting her so they can make a beeline for the Poneglyph and Pluton in Alabasta by the two of them... Crocodile accidentally sorta kinda adopts Robin.

At this point Robin's been running for her life from the Government for three years so her deep trust issues and fear of betrayal are starting to take root in her little heart. Like perhaps they haven't taken fully over yet, and being still a child I'm sure Robin might've still had that genuine hope that she could find a safe place to stay in. But I'm sure the though of "what'll he'll do with me once he gets what he wants?" would be nagging at her at the back of her mind. Meanwhile Crocodile's struggling between the pain and hurt he's already gone through and given him his trademark trust issues, as well as the aftermath of The Dragodile Divorce. But he also has his Fresh Paternal Instincts and probably misses his baby. So when given a small, scared child who is running for her life, being chased by the very same Government that'll want his son dead if they ever find out about him... Yeah that might fuck with your brain a little

You know this post was supposed to be just that first paragraph and just a few footnotes from the following two paragraphs. And then I kept on Having Thoughts. And I kept on writing them down. And oh no what happened when did this post get so long (Look I was going to either kept on writing my Additional Thoughts in the tags or I just put them in the actual fucking post)

Like considder this: based on this one SBS, we can kinda tell that if Crocodile was given a chance to raise a child, that child would be a spoiled little shit, right

So in this scenario, where Crocodile's looking after lil Robin, would he be kind of torn? Unsure how to feel about her?

Because on one hand, this strange child would have the potential to not only ruin his plans, strip him of his Shichibukai Privileges by outing him and his plans to the World Government, but also put his son in grave danger by extension (if she found out about him having been involved with the Revolutionaries and/or having a child). But on the other hand, his paternal instincts could make him want to spoil this poor little girl rotten. But only because he needs to (perhaps literally) buy her trust so she'll behave. No other reason, he doesn't feel sorry for her one bit, no sirree. (But maybe he did feel sorry for her, since his son could very well end up exactly like her. Poor little thing) (Which is why he needs to nuke Marijoa out of orbit as soon as possible, no matter the cost, and this child can't get in the way of Crocodile protecting his son) (But also this is a child. Like how bad could she be. Besides all he really needs to do to win her trust is be nice and make her feel safe, right?)

Of course, while I'm suggesting Crocodile could have some parental instincts, realistically, he hasn't actually spent any time being, you know, a father to a child (looking after his newborn for an unknown though short amount of time aside), so it's possible he wouldn't even know how to parent Robin even if he wanted to, would he? (Like taking care of a newborn and an 11 year old kid aren't the same either) So if he was kind of just emotionally flipflopping between No Trusting Ever and It's Just A Kid for God's Sake, Crocodile trying to be nice to Robin to make her feel safe and then telling himself to stop being so soft and vunerable... Yeah that would make for an absolute mess of a relationship. (Not to mention, let's be real, dude's a scary motherfucker too, and a bloody giant compared to itty bitty baby Robin. He could keep on accidentally scaring the shit out of Robin (who would be On Fucking Edge To Begin With) by just Being Himself. Like for example, can you fucking imagine if he caught Robin trying to cheer herself up with a little "dereshishishi" only to tell her to stop because "it was stupid"? 'Cause I can imagine him doing that, and boy howdy would that make Robin feel bad)

Or who knows, maybe Crocodile was just Born To Be A Dad, maybe he just Fucking Gets It. Like Crocodile is canonically pretty good at manipulating people to do what he wants them to do (see: how he played Vivi like a fiddle), so knowing Robin's position and understanding how she feels, maybe he COULD completely nail how she needed to be treated. Not being too familiar but still making her feel safe and happy, knowing exactly when to be stern and when to spoil her, etc. Dude just goes off and wins the Dad of the Year Award while being a deadbeat dad himself. The only thing Crocodile would have to worry about then would be making sure HE doesn't get too fond of her. And certainly that could never happen, he's so in-touch with his own feelings and so grounded, he's not a softie, get outta here. Or maybe he does but never realizes until it's too late and good luck backpedalling on those emotions now dumbass

Alright so, the reason I went on that whole rmble is just that like. I'm so interested in the relationship Robin and Crocodile already have in canon. I'm so facinated and curious about how the two feel about each other, considdering they did spend 4 whole years of their lives together as criminal business partners, though neither ever trusted the other. A partnership that was only ended because Robin betrayed Crocodile, out of her own trauma. (God, I want to see these two "reunite" so bad, I want to know how they feel about each other now after the timeskip and Robin joining the idiot in flipflops who foiled Croc's plans)

My question here is just that... if they had met 13 years earlier, would things have been different? Especially if Crocodad Real? Because as I mentioned in the begining, Robin would've been on the run for only 3 years by this point, as opposed to 16 years before running into Crocodile. Simultaneously, this would be before Crocodile went onto spend an entire decade all alone, slowly losing his marbles in his emotional solitude. They'd both be emotionally traumatized, yes, but would it have been as bad in this scenario? Like I did start this post kind of joking about Crocodile adopting Robin, and for clarity's sake I don't think they'd have like a father-daughter relationship nececarily. But it would be a strange relationship still, because we'd have two broken people, both struggling to trust anyone. One who had lost her mother and her only friends, leaving her all alone and afraid while running for her life. The other a father who had just given up his son whom he probably missed dearly. Both having these holes in their hearts from loss of family, holes that could not be filled with replacements. But could they find comfort in each other anyway, because they still as people occupy similar roles to their respective loved ones? If they both could just get over those trust issues?

Okay I've been going off on the Emotional Side Of Things for this AU Concept, THERE'S PLOT TOO

So if Crocodile did pick Robin up like 19 years ago, that should be before he set up base in Alabasta, long before he had built is homebase and financial empire etc.

Now the thing is, while we don't know when, where and how Crocodile learned about the Ancient Weapons, Pluton specifically and how the lead on it would be in Alabasta... Considdering Crocodile did once upon a time aim to become Pirate King, it would make perfect sense if he had learned about Poneglyphs during his past adventures, as he would have needed to get the Road Poneglyphs to find One Piece. And while the World Government did bury the truth about why Ohara had been burned down and why Robin had been given her bounty (remember, the WG claimed it was because she had sunken a fleet of battleships, which she had not, it was because she could read the Poneglyphs), considdering this is a Crocodad AU specifically, you could totally make an argument Crocodile could've learned about what actually happened to Ohara from Dragon and co. So, just to make this AU work, you could just assume Crocodile learned about the concept of the Ancient Weapons from Dragon. And who knows, maybe he overheard the truth about why Robin had been given her bounty from Dragon too (maybe Dragon was able to get intel from Garp in secret) or while going to Marijoa himself to attend a Shichibukai meeting or something IDK.

Maybe he learned about Pluton being in Alabasta before finding Robin by accident, and maybe they made a beeline for Alabasta the second Croc recruited Robin. Travelling takes time and the guy would've most likely had to find an Eternal Pose to Alabasta just to get there (also canonically Robin didn't enter the Grand Line until her 20s so they should've met in West Blue probably, since that's where Ohara was) Or maybe Crocodile had to haul Robin around for a few months while looking for That Missing Piece of Information that would lead him to Alabasta. (Imagine the two travelling from like island to island, library to library, Crocodile trying to find that leads while Robin's just so excited about ALL THESE BOOKS (she's helping too with the research) (but to her, research is playtime, so she's just having the time of her life) (Also, notice how Crocodile's Theoretical Child is a fucking loser ass nerd? Yeah Crocodile would encourage Robin reading and studying, surely. And that would be fucking cute))

But like, once they set sail to Alabasta...

Sure, Crocodile could try to do it The Slow Way that we know he tried in canon, building trust and creating his little empire etc. But also, in canon, Crocodile couldn't have jumped into action head first because without Robin, even if he had found the Poneglyph he couldn't have read it and found the location of Pluton. Crocodile choosing to do it the slow way may have been partially because he didn't have much of a choise and it could've felt like the smarter move long-term.

But in this scenario, he already has Robin. Yes, he could do it the slow, secure way.

But what'd be there stopping him from infiltrating Cobra's palace and kidnapping him (in the night, when nobody suspects a thing), demanding Cobra to spill the beans lest Crocodile kills him and/or his pregnant wife* (*Vivi was born 10 months after Luffy so depending on how long it's been between Crocodad leaving Luffy behind and this scenario... Yeah either the wife is there, still pregnant, or there's a newborn Baby Vivi)

Like it'd be a risky move but depending on how ballsy Croc's feeling and how confident he feels in being able to kidnap the king without being noticed... Yeah he could probably do it. And I'm sure he'd have no problem killing Cobra either, if anything it'd be required if he didn't want the Government to find out he was out to find Pluton, and god knows Cobra would tell on Crocodile if left alive. I could see Crocodad being maybe a little iffy about killing Baby Vivi though (it's not like the newborn baby could report him to the WG anyways), but if nothing else, he just needs to be able to pull off the bluff of his life to convince Cobra to do as he's told. And we all know Crocodile's good at convincing people.

The only question is, how would Robin take that?

Watching Crocodile go into Full Murder Mode, hearing him say he'd kill a pregnant woman/a newborn baby if he didn't get what he wanted? Like yeah, I'm sure 11 year old Robin would be fine with that, that wouldn't make any alarm bells go off in her head at all, it'd be fiiiine. IT WOULD NOT BE FINE, SHE'D BE SCARED SHITLESS. That fear of "what will he do with me when he gets what he wants"? Well, Robin may not have found the answer to that question in particular, but she certainly found the answer to the opposite question, and it's not good

So say Cobra, kidnapped (perhaps with Baby Vivi) by Crocodile in the night, guides the two to the Poneglyph under the tombs. Crocodile puts Cobra out of his misery because he's not needed anymore. And he asks Robin to read the Poneglyph for him.

Robin, who has spent the last little while, be it weeks or months with Crocodile, him having become her "guardian", the thing keeping her safe. Crocodile, who has now shown how cold blooded and cruel he can be. Robin, who might be scared out of her mind. Of him.

And the Poneglyph says Pluton, the thing Crocodile wants, isn't there. It's in Wano.

What's she going to do?

EDIT: I wrote a sequel post, enjoy

[5ftboy]

"I've been afraid all of my life. And you guys are really, really kind. There's no part of you that'll feel like you're just dragging me around?" "[We're] all going to do stuff the others don't like from time to time... But that's what best friends are for. We'll work through whatever we have to."

[booasaur]

Special Ops: Lioness - 1x07

[jonathanbonathanjovi]

i’m a photographer and i took these photos

[roguskii]

LET MILES INFODUMP!!! WHYD THEY CUT HIM OFF

source :3 https://youtu.be/qB0Ethu40G0?si=OQPoehHhXfRJAzjM

[turtleblogatlast]

Something I like about Leo is that he’s honestly really chill? It’s easy to remember the moments where he’s being obnoxious or excitable but I feel like most of the time he’s incredibly “go with the flow” and has an overall affable demeanor.

[sleepanonymous]

Hey, do you Eepy Babes remember when Sleep Token was touring and Vessel had a bit of the "shaky leg struggle" standing up from the floor and people commented on how he was getting older and they felt the same way trying to get off the ground, and then Vessel seemed to take it all personally, culminating in onstage workout sessions, onstage parkour, and literal kickboxing, not to mention showing off all of his muscles to the point of drawing a heart on his abs?

... Yeah, me too.

[tea-cat-arts]

Since we're getting closer to the release of the next Madoka Magica movie, I'd like to gently remind you guys that Rebellion doesn't have a single reliable narrator, and you really can't take anything the girls say as fact.

Madoka, Mami, and Kyoko have all had their memories tampered with by Homura and don't have the full story

Sayaka and Nagisa are both mentally fully there, but they're biased as they benefit from Madoka's system

Homura is being prodded by Kyubey, is in the middle of a mental breakdown, is missing key information, and is locked inside her own head where she is subconsciously filtering out and ejecting things that don't alight with the reality she wants there

This isn't to say that any of these girls are bad people or being intentionally manipulative. Just please keep in mind that all these characters' perspectives are skewed, and you really can't take everything they say at face value.

[fulgurbugs]

The only modern AU thought I’ve ever had and ever will have I think

[megamindsupremacy]

Okay this one might be niche but. Y’all know how sometimes your friend will have a family member they only refer to by their title? Like, “Pop” or “Auntie” No Name? And if you spend a lot of time with this friend then you end up also calling this family member Nona or whatever even though you’re not related?

I headcanon that Clark exclusively refers to his parents as Ma and Pa and literally never tells anyone their names. And Ma and Pa only ever introduce themselves as Ma and Pa. Then by the time someone thinks to ask what Clark’s Ma and Pa’s names are it’s been like half a year and it’s WAY too late to ask for something like that. Like they respond to “Mrs./Mr. Kent”, sure, but also they have the entire league calling them Ma and Pa and they LOVE it. They’ve adopted the entire league via Clark and are delighted by this. It never registers for Clark that all of his coworkers call his parents Ma and Pa too because to him that’s just their names like of course that’s what people call them. Meanwhile every single leaguer with dead parents (most if not all) has a mini breakdown when they realize they’re calling these random midwesterners Ma and Pa. They’re not mad about it! Just confused as to how this happened without anyone noticing

[svtskneecaps]

ok among my favorite parts of qsmp is the fact that charlie slimecicle can only hold the act of being mad at mariana when mariana isn't in the room. like he successfully rp'd being mad at his deadbeat puta esposa for months while mariana wasn't logging on, like he complained about mariana at the wedding, during the election, in subsequent appearances, and then he's messaging mariana in the chat during purgatory and he's still holding it

and then they're both at spawn like as close to face to face as they get. and bro CANNOT hold the act it drops so fast lmfao he was like "yea cellbit i'm gonna kill mariana" and instead they have a genuinely heartfelt conversation and then rp sexo in the fountain

and i know i'm brainrotting purgatory rn but i'm actually thinking about this bc i saw a clip of mariana and slime talking during the awards show and literally. slime's face goes from 😡🤬 MARIANA'S HERE, SAY SOMETHING PUTA ESPOSA to 😄😁 the second mariana shows up on the screen

like he's still pretending to be mad but dude is grinning like absolute crazy and i love that

[karkatbug]

Looks like mumbling his thoughts out loud finally benefited Dave

Day 7 of @davekatweek: Fluff

page 1/2-3/4/5/6/7-8/9-10

[Thanks for reading! Hopefully Dave wins Karkat a cute plushy or something on their first date.]

[turquoise-eyes]

The ghosts ever

[tennessoui]

emerging from a fugue state just in time for wip wednesday

Vokara Che sits down across the desk from him with a pinched expression on her face. “I was under the impression that Master Kenobi called for this appointment, Master Skywalker.”

He did. Or, more precisely, his healing portal account did. Which Anakin accessed and then used to type out a missive in his master’s voice requesting to meet as soon as possible.

“Right, well,” Anakin says, shifting in his seat. “Something came up.”

Che does not look impressed. “Be that as it may,” she says delicately, “I am unable to discuss a patient’s medical history with a third party if the third party is neither present at the time nor has given me direct permission to do so.”

Anakin stares, feeling the first flickerings of real, dangerous fury well up in his gut. “But,” he says carefully. “He’s still sick. He, uh. Told me about it. And then we found a solution. To the problem.”

“The problem,” Che repeats, tilting her head and looking at Anakin as if she’s intent on studying him. 

“The hanahaki,” he spits. It’s a disgusting word. It’s one of the worst words he’s ever learned, and he can’t believe she’s making him say it. He can’t believe she’s being so—so cold when he’s telling her that Obi-Wan is still ill, that Obi-Wan is still dying, that Obi-Wan needs to be here to see her and he’s not. “Look,” he adds, leaning forward in his chair, “a few months ago a series of files were uploaded accidentally to my healing portal, but they were notes from one of Obi-Wan’s appointments. They were your notes from Obi-Wan’s visit. I know you know I know.”

Vokara Che looks at him and then looks down at the datapaad in front of her, lips thinned and lekku twitching. “I must apologize then,” she says, swiping through the files in front of her until she finds something that she lingers on. Her fingers dance across the screen of the datapaad, then it goes dark. “For the breach in ethicacy that you and Master Kenobi both experienced because of the Halls of Healing. Thank you for bringing it to my attention, Master Skywalker. All files that were incorrectly uploaded have been deleted from your healing portal.”

Anakin looks at her and bites his cheek hard enough to bleed so that he doesn’t start screaming instead.