#that chapter completely destroyed me
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causticflower · 1 month ago
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“—and the love you are made of.” (and I love you because you are love)
@lovesick-x-prince what if i cried. HUH.
[the thing causing big emotion]
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gu6chan · 4 months ago
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im ngl i love faputa and will continue to love her but genuinely like. It's been on my mind but i kinda sorta hate what they're doing with her now
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lofan · 10 months ago
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Happy Berlermo day everyone!
I present you a little something for the best fic I have ever laid my eyes on:
The Time Traveler’s Soulmate by @oreo-cookies-fan is wholly responsible for this. This gem of a fic left me speechless and in tears and forced me to do something. That's my only excuse.
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kindkindling · 2 years ago
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The only thing on my mind for dayyyyssssss has been, in order:
Stampede Wolfwood saying "no matter how heavy the cross you carry, you still deserve to eat and laugh";
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Stampede Vash taking it to heart and eating for the first time since Juneora Rock;
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and TriMax Vash's first action, after burning off a huge chunk of his life out of grief and burying his best friend, being to make dinner for himself and Livio.
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lee-hakhyun · 1 year ago
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representative kim dokja shows lee hakhyun everything. on the theater screen, the stories of him and the readers play out. it's not all of the stories though, as he notices some scenes have been exaggerated or cut. he asks if this is what repkdj has been showing the kkomas, and he agrees. this is to write a new story.
and a new story requires a new protagonist.
he continues with a video of what lhh has done so far. not everything is recorded there, there are memories missing between scenes that only lhh know, but even with scenes missing, what the kkomas saw wasn't a lie. repkdj says that lhh is the best person to end their story. whose story..? the characters who have died here, or--?
rep kdj goes on. showing memories that lee hakhyun didn't know about. han sooyoung confronting 49, his doubts, the 1865th episode, his final thoughts, and his reincarnation. seeing himself in his parent's arms, he can't deny anything. rep kdj continues to push him. is this not kimcom's fault? does he not deseve his own story? prove that you are real. defeat kimcom, and free this worldline from it's predetermined story. create a space for these extras that he has been with all this time. repkdj tells him to stop yoo joonghyuk.
in this worldline, yjh uses the absolute throne, and sends sys back. everything here happened, but it was never recorded. it could just end by branching this worldline off into parallel universes.. but what if it doesn't? what if shin yoosung was never sent back. the worldlines of twsa and orv may be destroyed.
is this why hsy tried to stop him before?
rep kdj tells him to destroy kimcom's universe, break the ending that only the 'real' kim dokja knew. with yoo joonghyuk still incapacitated on the ground, rep kdj offers him a full-powered four yin demonic beheading sword.
tells lhh to end their story with his own hands.
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bassguitarinablackt-shirt · 11 months ago
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im normal i promise
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walkawaytall · 1 year ago
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I'm gonna need everyone to remember that I am not an electrical engineer or a mechanic whenever this next chapter of Purpose of Heritage gets posted, okay?
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dazaisflatass · 2 years ago
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Follow to see this picture of Dazai
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its-me-hyunjin · 2 years ago
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NO ONE TALK TO ME, CHAPTER 15 OF SLWY IS FINALLY HERE
star lost with you | hyunjin au | part 15
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pairing: idol! hyunjin x artist! reader
synopsis: working in a quaint little art store, you’ve had the honor of meeting all kinds of people, but you’ve never met somebody like him.
there were many reasons hyunjin returned to his hometown; a getaway from the ephemeral and fast-paced life of the city, so he could fall in love with life again. he thought he was prepared for everything, to study art in the way that he’s always wanted to, but what he didn’t anticipate was meeting you. hwang hyunjin realises that sometimes, the best things in life happen unplanned.
genre:friends to lovers, so much angst, smut, fluff, set in the idolverse, mutual pining, unrequited love, forbidden romance, slowburn (!!!) soulmate au (kind of), star-crossed lovers
warnings:cursing, mature content, fancy drinking, mutual pining, sexual tension, so much angst, kissing, making out, dirty talk, fingering, grinding, dry humping, dom!hyunjin, jealousy, more angst
word count:35K (ik the wc makes it feel v long but it’s really not that much haha)
a/n: im so excited to be coming back with this huge of a chapter for you guys. so much goes down and im insanely excited to share this next phase of my story with you. its v long so pls get comfortable with a blanket and snacks. I would recommend rereading the last chapter, if you can! thank you for still being here.
i recommend that you can listen to my star lost playlist here!
important: all works are fiction, and do not in any way represent the real personalities or real people, they exist only as faceclaims, and are fictional characters.
masterlist
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He had fucked up. Even in the dimly lit drive-in theatre, the guilt on his face was evident. Hyunjin had never looked this devastated.
“I need to talk to you” 
That’s what he had said. The gnawing feeling in your gut got worse. Those words together, in that order, was never a good sign. You knew as much, and you knew whatever he had to tell you was going to be something bad.
“Why did you leave in the middle of the film?” You asked, gaze darting between him and your friends.
Yuqi was staring wide-eyed, watching this unfold, soda cup clutched in her hands, and Felix
he looked beyond irritated.
The movie could still be heard all the way over here. You weren’t too far from the projection screen, and the speakers were right next to you. It was a horrible place to be having this conversation, but you couldn’t wait. 
What was he holding back?
You’d always felt the safest around Hyunjin, but every breath between you right now was uncertain. He was fidgeting, sliding the silver ring off and on his finger.
“I was on my way back to you when—” Hyunjin paused, and the veins in his neck were prominent as he strained to be heard over the movie, “—when Felix found me. He wanted to talk”
Keep reading
#i was working all of last night#but you best believe my greedy little ass was spending every spare second reading this#shocker to literally no one this chapter was an absolute masterpiece like all of the rest#i feel so healed but also completely destroyed by this#so much happened i think i will be processing this for at least 2-3 weeks#hyunjin reuniting and interacting with the boys was so cute and pure and fun#i had the stupidest grin on my face#and the cute phonecalls and text and pictures when he first moves back?#got me giggling and kicking my feet fr#but don't worry#i am still absolutely and completely emotionally devastated#“everyone deserves to have someone like you in their lives”#godamit you're gonna make me cry again#reading that made me realize all i want is for someone to love me like that#and don't even get me started on “you have to know this sadness isn't forever”#fuck you're writing just gets me every time#like i have read hundreds of books and tics throughout my life#but i have never read anything that makes me feel so truly seen before#it breaks my heart and shatters my soul in the most bittersweet way#okay sorry for all of my rambling#i am feeling wayyy to many emotions for 6am when i'm still at work#once again i will never be able to thank you enough for writing this absolutely beautiful piece of literature#it will probably be my favorite fix forever#i will always be thinking of this version of hyunjin#i can't wait to reread this whole fic for the millionth time while i anxiously wait for the next chapter#anywho long story short no one talk to me for the next month while i try and fail to recover from this#reblog#stray kids#hyunjin#q: painting with hyunjin
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ponderingmoonlight · 5 months ago
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Wicked Games
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Pairing: Sukuna x fem!reader
Word Count: 3k
Synopsis: From the second Ryomen Sukuna appears on the surface on earth again, you are bound to each other. Until the Shibuya accident. Until Sukuna gets confronted with the fear of losing you first-hand.
Warnings: angst to fluff y'all, enemies to lovers in a kind of rushed way, this made me think about doing a series with like 5 chapters and a slow burn enemies to lovers with Sukuna x curse!reader - how do you feel about that? <3
Inspired by this prompt:
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You remember it as if it was yesterday. The night was cold and eerily quiet when you sprinted through the dark streets, your body buzzing with the vibrations of cursed energy.
The reports had come in just an hour ago: a powerful curse had manifested, and it wasn’t just any ordinary curse. The whispers and especially Gojo spoke of something ancient, something nearly forgotten. Something that had slumbered within the shadows of legends until now.
“Guess what, (y/n)? Megumi found something that might interest you”, Gojo jeered at you through the phone when you already felt it.
Ryomen Sukuna.
You had heard his name your entire life - a dark deity, a figure so terrible that entire villages had been wiped out by his bare hands centuries ago.
Since you were a child, you've been obsessed with him, the so-called "King of Curses." Not because you were drawn to the death and chaos he brought, but because of the mystery he posed. The idea that something so cruel, so powerful, could exist outside the boundaries of human comprehension. As a sorcerer, you committed yourself to understanding curses, to studying their origins, motivations, powers. And there was no greater paradox than Sukuna himself.
But now, he wasn't only a paradox anymore. Now he had returned. They had found one of his fingers. Apparently, someone had consumed it.
“I’m in the middle of souvenir shopping and guessed you wouldn’t mind stepping in and helping little Megumi out.”
"Normally I'd scold you but today...thank you, idiot."
Yuji Itadori, the boy who had swallowed Sukuna’s cursed finger, who brought Sukuna back into the world after centuries of slumber, stood right in your sight along with Megumi Fushiguro. But you couldn’t let yourself worry about the boys; your focus was on the curse now staring straight back at you.
Your fingers tightened on the hilt of your sword, the cursed energy crackling around you like lightning in the dark night. You had prepared your entire life for this moment. The countless hours of sickening training, the sleepless nights spent poring over ancient texts and scrolls, and the battles fought against nameless curses. All of it had led you here, to your first confrontation with the King of Curses.
As you reached the completely destroyed school building where the cursed energy was originating from, you could already feel it. The overwhelming, tyrannical weight of Sukuna’s presence. It was unlike anything you’ve ever felt before, so thick it felt as though it was suffocating you.
You pressed on, despite the nausea building in your chest. There was no time to second-guess yourself. You moved swiftly through the corridors of the building, your footsteps echoing in the empty halls. The cursed energy grew heavier with every step, your breathing becoming uneven when the spiteful aura grew stronger. And then, at the far end of the hallway on top of a roof, you saw him.
At first glance, it was a boy, a teenager no older than Megumi. His body was rigid, standing in the middle of that roof, shoulders squared as though fighting an internal battle. But the look on his face, the wicked smile stretched across his lips, told you otherwise. The way his dark eyes gleamed with wicked amusement confirmed what you had feared.
This wasn’t Itadori anymore.
This was Sukuna.
“Interesting...” Sukuna’s voice rumbled from the boy’s throat as his gaze locked onto yours.
His smile widened, predatory and cruel.
“What do we have here? Another little sorcerer, so eager to die?”
You held your ground, your body tense but steady. This was no ordinary curse you were facing. Every instinct screamed at you to flee, but you couldn’t, you wouldn’t, allow fear to take control. Your entire life had been building up to this.
“You’re not getting out of here,” you said, your voice firm.
“Not while I’m here.”
Sukuna chuckled, the sound low and dangerous. His eyes narrowed, taking you in.
“Brave words, but foolish. Do you really think you can handle me, girl?”
You didn’t respond with words, Instead, you shoved Megumi behind you and let your cursed energy flare to life around you, the air crackling with power. You moved swiftly, launching yourself at him, your blade drawn and poised for the strike.
But Sukuna was fast — faster than you had anticipated. With barely a flicker of movement, he dodged your attack, his grin never faltering. He countered with a swift punch, sending you flying across the air and crashing into the opposite wall. Pain exploded in your chest, and you gasped for breath.
“Is that all?”, Sukuna taunted, his voice filled with mockery as he stalked toward you.
“I expected more from someone who’s been chasing me.”
You coughed, blood trickling from the corner of your mouth, but you forced yourself to your feet. Your body ached from the impact, but the adrenaline was stronger. You had trained for this. You wouldn’t go down so easily.
As Sukuna advanced, you focused your cursed energy into a powerful barrier, your eyes blazing with determination. You wouldn’t let him win. Not today.
“Let the boy go,” you demanded, your voice sharper now.
“I’m your opponent now.”
Sukuna’s eyes gleamed at the challenge.
“Bold. But you should know better than to give me orders.”
The battle was swift and brutal. Sukuna’s strikes were relentless, his movements impossibly fast and deadly. You could barely keep up, each of his blows a near-fatal attack. But through it all, you fought with everything you had, refusing to back down.
You’ve studied Sukuna your entire life. You knew his techniques, his fighting style, the cruel unpredictability of his power. But even with all that knowledge, facing him in person was something entirely different. His cursed energy was overwhelming, suffocating, a malevolent force that pressed against your very soul.
And yet, you stood your ground.
As the fight wore on, something shifted in the way Sukuna looked at you. What had started as amusement, as mockery, slowly turned into something else. Curiosity. Interest. Even a hint of admiration.
“You’re not like the others,” he jeered at one point, dodging one of your attacks effortlessly.
His eyes flickered with something dangerous, something
 intrigued.
“You’re still standing. Most would have died by now.”
You spat blood onto the ground, your body screaming in agony but your will unbroken.
“I’m not most people.”
Sukuna chuckled, the sound dark and throaty.
“No. You’re not.”
That was how it began. The first encounter — your first dance with death and the King of Curses. It didn’t end with your victory or his defeat. No, you knew better than to believe you could win against him in a single battle. But it wasn’t a defeat, either.
It was the beginning of something bigger.
After your first encounter with Sukuna, something within you shifted. Yuji Itadori regained control, but you knew it was only temporary. Sukuna wasn’t gone. He was still there, lurking beneath the surface, waiting for his next opportunity to take control. And when he did, you were there.
Every. Single. Time.
Every time Sukuna resurfaced, you fought him. It became a twisted routine, an endless game of cat and mouse where neither of you could claim absolute victory. You learned his techniques, his fighting style, and the nuances of his cursed energy. You pushed yourself harder, training longer, grew stronger. And with every battle, Sukuna’s interest in you grew as well.
He began to speak to you during the fights, taunting you, teasing you, but always with that glimmer of intrigue in his eyes. He never seemed eager to kill you, not really. In fact, there were moments, brief, fleeting moments, where he seemed to hold back, almost as if he was enjoying the challenge you presented.
“Why do you keep coming back?” you asked him one day, your voice strained after yet another brutal fight.
“Why haven’t you killed me yet?”
Sukuna’s grin was feral, his eyes glittering dangerously as he wiped the blood from his lips.
“Because you’re amusing,” he replied, his voice low and menacing.
“And because I’m not done with you yet.”
You hated the way his words sent a shiver down your spine, the way his gaze seemed to pierce straight through you. But more than anything, you hated how much you wanted to beat him, to prove yourself against the King of Curses.
As the months passed, you found yourself drawn deeper into Sukuna’s world. You fought him, studied him, and slowly but surely somehow began to understand him. He wasn’t just a mindless monster, not like the other curses you’ve faced. There was something more to Sukuna, something ancient and calculating, a mind sharper than any blade.
And Sukuna, in turn, began to learn more about you. He observed your fighting style, your strategies, your strengths and weaknesses. He pushed you, challenged you, forced you to grow stronger with every battle. There was a strange, unspoken connection between you: a mutual recognition of each other’s strength, a respect born from the countless times you’d clashed.
But there was something else, too. Something neither of you wanted to acknowledge. Something that simmered beneath the surface of every encounter.
You hated him. You despised everything he stood for, the chaos and destruction he brought into the world. But there was a part of you that couldn’t deny the pull you felt toward him — the way his presence ignited something fierce and primal within you.
And Sukuna? Sukuna had grown attached to the thrill of facing you. You were unlike anyone he’d ever fought. Strong. Determined. Unyielding. It was no longer about crushing you under his heel. It was about keeping you close, about testing your limits and pushing you to your breaking point.
But neither of you were willing to admit what was truly happening between you.
You smile weakly to yourself, blood spilling from the corners of your mouth. Not even now.
The Shibuya Incident is chaos. The city is overrun with curses and the streets are filled with blood and screams. You dispatched alongside other sorcerers to contain the situation, but things quickly spiraled out of control. The curses were too many, too strong, and the collateral damage was catastrophic.
Your focus was on protecting your students, the young sorcerers under your care who had been thrust into this nightmare far too early in their training. You were always their protector, their guide, and you would do anything to keep them safe. But the battle was relentless, and the curses were closing in fast.
In the midst of the chaos, Sukuna reappeared, his presence like a dark shadow over the battlefield. He took control of Yuji once again, his cursed energy crackling through the air with terrifying force. You felt it the moment he arrived, your senses attuned to the overwhelming hatred that accompanied his presence.
You barely had time to react before you were caught in the crossfire. A powerful curse lashed out at you and you moved to shield your students from the blow. But the attack was too fast, too strong. It tore through your defenses, the cursed energy slicing through your body like a hot knife through butter.
Pain exploded in your chest when you collapsed to the ground, blood pooling beneath you. Your vision blurred, your breath coming in ragged gasps. You had suffered injuries before, but this
 this was different.
This was fatal.
The world around you fades almost instantly, the edges of your vision go dark. You can feel your life slipping away, your body growing cold.
Out of all people, why does it have to be him you long for the most? Why do your eyes start watering by the thought that you'll might never see him again, that you were never able to feel his lips pressed against yours? Are you really so naive, so dumb? Fuck, you really fell for the King of Curses, the root of all evil.
But then
 you hear his voice.
“Get. Up.”
Sukuna’s voice cuts through the haze of pain and exhaustion like a lightning strike. You blink, trying to focus, trying to understand what is happening. Is he really there? Are you hallucinating?
“Get up,” he repeats, his voice sharp and commanding.
But then you feel it. His hand pressed against the gaping wound in your abdomen. No, he's really there. It's really him.
“You’ve suffered bigger wounds. And if you don’t get up, I’ll destroy everything that’s left of this world.”
You force yourself to breathe, your chest burning with the effort. But your body isn’t responding anymore. The pain is too much. You simply can’t move. The only reaction you're able to build up is a weak smile.
Is this really how it ends? With another empy threat?
Sukuna growls, crouching down beside you. He can't let you die here. Not like this, not after this short time. There's still so much more he needs to show you, so much more he needs to say.
Before he realizes what he's even doing, his hands are on you, cursed energy flowing into your body, patching up the worst of the damage. It isn’t healing, not really - more like forcing your body to hold together for just a little longer. Just enough to keep you.
“Please
”
Sukuna’s voice is strained, his eyes narrowed in concentration.
“Please get up. Don’t die on me.”
You blink, your heart stuttering in your chest as his words sink in. He’s asking you. Pleading with you...Not to die?
“Please don’t die on me.”
With his cursed energy coursing through you, you really feel your strength returning, your wounds slowly mending under his influence. The pain fades away, replaced by a strange warmth that spreads through your body. You gasp for breath, your chest rising and falling as life surges back into you.
Did
Ryomen Sukuna save your ass? Your heart pounds so roughly against your ribcage that you feel like fainting all over again. This can’t be possible, right? You have to be dreaming. After all, Ryomen Sukuna is your greatest enemy, responsible for at least half of the mess here.
“I’m not
 done yet,” you rasp, your voice weak but steady.
Sukuna’s lips curl into a smirk, his eyes gleaming with something dangerous paired with a hint of relief.
“That’s more like it.”
He helps you to your feet, his hand lingering on your arm for just a moment longer than necessary. You can feel the weight of his gaze on you, the unspoken bond between you stronger than ever.
"What, were you worried about me, dumbass?"
Faster than you're able to react, he grabs your arm again and pulls you in. When his lips press themselves against yours, you forget how to exist for a second. Out of instinct, you open your mouth, allow him to enter, close your eyes when your whole body starts to burn up all over again.
Oh, you imagined this more than once. How do his firm arms feel against your touch? Are his lips softer than his cruel words? Is Sukuna a good kisser?
A desperate moan escapes your lips before you can stop yourself, your arms now roaming all over his muscular frame.
This...this is so wrong. You shouldn't do this, shouldn't even dream about something like this. But as sudden as he appeared, he's gone again, leaving you with nothing but your swollen lips as a proof for what just happened.
Are you actually going insane?
Bonus:
After Shibuya, things changed between you and Sukuna.
The battles continued, of course. The fights, the challenges, the taunts, the unnecessary deaths and killing  - none of that stopped and you still hate him with every fiber of your being for all those horrible things he did. But there is something else now, something that neither of you can ignore. The second Sukuna saw you lying there in a pool of your own blood on the edge of death, he started to realize it.
You aren’t a simple enemy for him anymore. You are his obsession.
Sukuna’s possessiveness over you grew, but so did the strange, unspoken understanding between you. You weren’t just another sorcerer to him anymore. You were his: his opponent, his challenge, his equal. And though neither of you would ever admit it out loud, there was a twisted sort of affection in that.
And you?
You’ve found something unexpected in the King of Curses. Not love, not really, but something close. Something raw and powerful, a connection without any logic and reason.
You didn’t know where it would lead. But you knew one thing for sure:
As long as Sukuna was in this world, you would be right there with him.
And that was enough.
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gollancz · 2 months ago
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Guys. Christmas is coming. Consumerism is in the driver's seat and GAWD don't I know about the existential ennui of all these faceless corporations trying to schill you their wares. It's cold. Impersonal. Bleak.
So I, a fellow tumblr user, will instead try to schill you MY wares, so that when you purchase these items you can say "Hey, that person from tumblr worked on this", and feel the warmth of HUMAN CONNECTION in a way that is completely normal and not parasocial at all. We really are friends. I promise. Yes, you. Love you, bestie. Remember the boop war? Good times. Fond memories.
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THIRTEEN STOREYS and FAMILY BUSINESS by Jonathan Sims
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Tumblr's favourite Nightmare Factory @jonnywaistcoat has two novels out and they're phenomenal horror that also punch you in the throat with SOCIAL COMMENTARY and FEELINGS. He's so adept at tapping into the specific part of my brain that feels fear like a small child - not the adult creepy scared that I normally get around horror, but specifically the kind of fear that almost freezes your limbs and vocal chords with a terror you don't quite understand because there is so much in the world that you don't know, but you know that somehow this thing might be quick enough or smart enough or sneaky enough to get you before you can get to the safety of your parents sort of fear.
THIRTEEN STOREYS is a haunted house novel, but set in a refurbished block of flats. Each chapter follows a different resident being haunted in a different way, with a style to match the flavour of ghost. It's all tied together phenomenally and brutally.
FAMILY BUSINESS is a story about ghosts in a different way, following a woman who joins a post-mortem house cleaning service while grieving the death of her best friend. But as she removes the stains from the houses of the dead, she begins to suspect something else is removing even more.
Both of these titles are available from Gollancz worldwide!
THE LAST UNICORN, THE WAY HOME, THE INNKEEPER'S SONG and A FINE AND PRIVATE PLACE by Peter S. Beagle
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Obviously Peter's work needs no introduction, and our editions aren't available in the US and Canada, but I've had a wonderful time working with Peter and his team to bring these beautiful books back to the UK. Meeting him at Worldcon this year was such a magical moment, and he was jet-lagged and I had gone through sleep deprived into hyper and was bringing an Extremely Weird Energy to every interaction I had that day, resulting in this photo:
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THE LAST UNICORN and THE WAY HOME are a matched pair of wonderful fairy stories. THE WAY HOME has two novellettes in it, and the first - 'Two Hearts' - won the Hugo award. It will also destroy you.
A FINE AND PRIVATE PLACE was Peter's first ever novel, and it's wistful and romantic and so beautiful.
THE INNKEEPER'S SONG is his epic fantasy quest, it's an adventure story that reads almost lyrically. Also there's an orgy in the middle which caught me by surprise when I was reading it for the first time on the train into work.
HIGH VAULTAGE by Chris and Jen Sugden
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It's possible that someone on this website doesn't know I was involved with this book but don't worry, I will HUNT THEM DOWN AND TELL THEM. This is the first book I took all the way through the editorial process from end to end and I am SO PROUD of it and Chris and Jen and their wonderful world of @victoriocity. Officially one of the seven funniest books published in the UK this year, shortlisted for the Wodehouse Prize for Comic Fiction. It's a chaotic, bonkers murder mystery set in an alternate Victorian London which is the most gleeful dystopia I have ever encountered.
Featuring:
Grumpy Sunshine besties
The Victorian Equivalent of the Chuck Norris Meme
A robot who undertook a course in People Management
An indefatigable beagle
This is another book that you can get from Gollancz all over the world, and you SHOULD because it's amazing. Go into your local bookshop and ask them to order it into stock. It's a great Christmas present. It's my firstborn book baby (like that's a completely normal thing to say when I didn't even write it). Also if you're a fan of the podcast, why not tell the Guardian how great it is, and make a nuisance of yourself until they review. (I would, but the form asks for your name and then they'd know I didn't suddenly discover Victoriocity this year. Either that or think I was a very careless editor.) If you've not listened to the podcast yet, you absolutely should. It pings all my Douglas Adams receptors in the best way. If you like HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE, if you like CABIN PRESSURE, VICTORIOCITY is the perfect addition.
HAMMAJANG LUCK by Makana Yamamoto
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SLIGHTLY cheating because HAMMAJANG LUCK isn't out in North America until January (pre-orders make great Christmas presents guys), but it IS out in the UK and the rest of the world next week! This is my second big editorial project and it's a Big Gay Space Heist ft. disaster lesbians, trans characters, and a tech billionaire getting put in his place. It's joyous and energetic and crammed full of Hawaiian pidgin as a love letter to the diaspora. @makana-yama is a phenomenal writer and this is their love letter to their communities, families both born and found, while also a statement on the victims of gentrification (and how those are disproportionally BIPOC communities). PLUS:
friends to enemies to cautious allies to lovers
trans cyborgs
Suck It Space Elon
You know that One Scene in Charlie's Angels where Cameron Diaz is in the white body suit and breaking into the safe and has to stretch out to hit two buttons at once? Yeah. That's the vibe.
Being able to work with Makana is a delight, and HAMMAJANG tapped into all the feelings I got watching LEVERAGE for the first time, so I went to watch it again while I was editing. Also OCEAN'S 8.
DEEP BLACK by Miles Cameron
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So, barring Branderson, Miles Cameron may be one of our most prolific authors. He writes a minimum two books a year, one SFF and one historical fiction (as Christian Cameron) and he is... An absolute phenomenon. He IS the Chuck Norris meme. I'm obsessed with him. He's former US military intelligence turned naturalised Canadian Hippy, has written over fifty novels, can turn his hand to any genre and write it fantastically, is a practical archaeologist - running large scale re-enactments from a variety of periods ranging from Bronze Age right the way up to the Victorian era, using traditional techniques to allow academics to study how the practicalities of weapons, clothes, food etc. would have worked in practice. Two years ago he won a medieval combat tournament in Verona, a clear ten years older at least than the next oldest competitor, he teaches Historical European Martial Arts, but ties it into the history of martial arts globally. He can make his own clothes, ink, leatherwork. He's a ballet dancer. I once took him for a day out and he ended it in a different shirt and shoes from the ones he'd started in. I asked him for an author photo and he sent me this:
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DEEP BLACK is the sequel to his critically acclaimed SF debut ARTIFACT SPACE, where he has taken his research and experience of global historical cultures and extrapolated to create an interplanetary future where the best of all are celebrated. And then Aliens Happen. And then, in reaction, Capitalism Happens (which is covered in the short story collection BEYOND THE FRINGE).
He's such a thoughtful and erudite speaker, if you're curious about his work, I'd recommend listening to his episodes on the Friends Talking Fantasy podcast, and also his appearance on The Publishing Rodeo.
If SF isn't your bag, he's also got:
Arthurian fantasy
Bronze Age fantasy
Medieval Mages fantasy
A CURSE OF CROWS - Lauren Dedroog
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I actually inherited Lauren when a colleague of mine departed for fresh pastures, which gave me the great opportunity to work on this series which is so vastly different from my usual fare. It's epic, sweeping, romantic and lush, with such detailed description and complex political machinations, while also being brutal, dark and heavy (tw: for sexual assault, torture etc, etc.). If you like Sarah J Maas and Cassandra Clare, this should hit the sweet spot. Lauren is an ICU nurse when not writing, and this was somehow created when she was putting in a million hours in hospitals during COVID. The feat boggles my mind.
A CURSE OF CROWS is out now in the UK, Australia and Europe, and it won the People's Choice for Standaard Boek's Book of the Year award in 2023, in her home country of Belgium. It will be hitting shelves in North America next September! A DANCE OF SERPENTS is where I get to pick up the editorial mantle, and that has just landed in my inbox this week so I am excited to dig in.
Featuring:
Harold, they're lesbians
Murder baby is actually a cinnamon roll
Sensitive wings are sexy
For serious, though, I'm lucky enough to work with a lot of authors I'm genuinely obsessed and astounded by. And yes, I do get to work on Joe Abercrombie, Brandon Sanderson and Andrzej Sapkowski, but they're not MY authors - they're led by the incredible Gillian and Marcus who I'm not 100% certain sleep. There are so many people on the Gollancz list who I could recommend for DAYS (and will, if you so request), but this is my stable of superstars.
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formula-ghost · 1 month ago
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Read Your Diary (FC43 x fem!reader)
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Chapter 5: Valentine (FINALE)
CHAPTER SUMMARY: The end of the 2024 F1 season brings regret and a newfound desire for reconciliation—but is your relationship with Franco beyond saving?
WORD COUNT: 13k
WARNINGS: Sadness. Angry Hispanic mother. Creepy men in bars (not Franco ofc). Drinking, drunk Franco is a media menace. Use of the word whore jokingly. Smut 18+ MINORS DNI. Hickeys, hair pulling. Dom Franco and sub reader, use of good girl, light choking, Oral (m receiving), p in v, protected sex (wrap it before you tap it!)
SERIES TAGLIST:  @scopeiguess @storyteller-le @xivilivix @htpssgavi @wierdflowerpower @justsisse  @uncreativetm  @ncrsbrg  @tillyt04 @amz824 @ellelabelle
A/N: My baby is now complete!! I did not plan for this to be the ending originally, but as I was writing it just kind of came about, and who am I to anger the writing Gods? Honestly, though, the beginning of this chapter destroyed me trying to find a way to redeem Franco. Fun fact, I very loosely based my depiction of Franco off of my real life ex, which explains why he is so horrible lmao (but unlike my real life ex, Franco has been redeemed!). I cannot express how grateful I am for everyone’s support throughout the writing of this story. More to come, but for now, enjoy!
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4
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All this love, I'm so choked up, I can feel you in my blood
All this lust for just one touch, I'm so scared to give you up
Valentine, my decline is so much better with you
Valentine, my decline, I'm always running' to you
Valentine, Valentine
The block button did nothing to assuage Franco’s obsession with you. In fact, it only made it worse.
If he hadn’t blocked you, he would at least know that you weren’t contacting him. But since he pressed the button, there was now the ever present question of if you had reached out, and if the digital barrier he erected had led it to be lost forever. 
But why would you reach out after what he had done? 
Truthfully, it took everything in you to not call him. You had both said things you didn’t mean—at least, you prayed that Franco didn’t mean them—and you wanted nothing more than to just make up and act like it never happened. 
But the words kept echoing in your mind at night when you couldn’t sleep. You were a distraction.
All the years of supporting him, all the sacrifices you made—all for nothing. 
You couldn’t help that you loved him. And the Franco you knew and loved didn’t mean those things. He couldn’t. 
So you checked your phone’s international clock. It was still night where you were at home, but morning in Abu Dhabi, where he’d be completing his last F1 race tomorrow. 
There was still time. If you called and made up now, you could be there for the final race. You could be there at the end, just like you had been there at all of his beginnings.
So you swallowed your pride, tapped on his name in your contacts, and pressed call. But it didn’t even ring before it hung up. You knew what that meant. He had blocked you.
At first you wanted to puke. You wanted to burst down the stairs of your apartment and run into the street screaming. You wanted to throw a bottle of wine on the walls and cry in the wreckage.
But after a few hours of getting all the crying out, a strange peace fell over you.
It was just
 over. That was that.
In the morning, however, the grief came back from a familiar notification. His mother.
You had been putting off her messages ever since your argument with Franco. You couldn’t bear to tell her what had happened. But she was worried about you, evident by her increasingly concerned messages.
You finally gathered the courage to type up a response.
Hi Mami, you began—she had forbidden you to call her by her name, instead telling you to call her Mom—I tried to talk to Franco like you asked. It didn’t go well, and we both said a lot of hurtful things. It ended on bad terms and he ended up canceling all my passes and flights, and I think he blocked me. I’m sorry, I tried to get through to him. Thank you for all the kindness you’ve shown me over the years <3
You read over what you’d typed. It was honest. You could have spared her more of the details, but why? Franco would have to live with the consequences of his actions. That wasn’t your problem.
It was only a few moments later that she responded. Oh dear, I am so sorry. I am ashamed of Franco—that is not the son I raised. I hope you know we all love you, and I wish you all the best.
You liked her message and left it at that. But she called you later that night.
She began, “YN, words can’t describe how sorry I am. What happened?”
“I
 I don’t know,” you began, carefully choosing your words. You weren’t quite sure how much you wanted to tell her. “He was already upset when I got there. He kept accusing me of lecturing him, but I was just trying to tell him I was worried. He said
 that I was a distraction.”
“I can’t believe him! You have never been a distraction. You’ve been there for him when we couldn’t, we’ve always been so grateful for you.” Her admission nearly brought tears to your eyes. “I just
 Dios Mio.” 
The conversation was short, but vulnerable. 
“YN, can I ask you something?” 
“Of course.”
“You had feelings for him, didn’t you?” She asked it as if it were a statement, rather than a question.
You were silent for a beat before answering. “I did. I
 I do.”
“Oh, dear, I wish I was there to give you a hug.” You could feel the care in her voice, a soothing comfort. “I want you to know you’re always welcome here, no matter what my idiot son says.”
You chuckled, thanking her for her kindness before ending the call. You were truly grateful for her invitation, but you couldn’t imagine being in Argentina without Franco. The call had felt more like a farewell. 
In Abu Dhabi, Franco was having his own farewells. It was bittersweet; he had worked so hard for so long to get here, but he couldn’t wait for it to be over. He was exhausted, mentally and physically. He just wanted to go home.
Home—the only place he felt like he had left. His Madrid apartment would feel empty without your laughter echoing in the halls. But back in Argentina, the people still loved him, and he could come back to a warm, home-cooked meal.
It was the only thing on his mind as he was forced to retire the car early, ending his last F1 race of 2024 with a DNF. But he didn’t care about that at all when he stepped off his flight from Abu Dhabi to Buenos Aires. 
Unfortunately for him, what was waiting for him at home was not peace and a warm meal. It was a very angry Hispanic mother. 
He came through the door, jet lagged, struggling with his luggage. She didn’t help him. 
When his father and sister ran up to give him a hug and help him in, she didn’t move an inch. She just stayed in the kitchen, silently chopping vegetables with her recently sharpened knife.
After putting away his bags into his room, Franco made his way to the kitchen to greet his mother, who didn’t even look up from her cutting board.
“Hi Mami, I’m home,” he said tentatively.
“Welcome home,” she replied, no warmth in her voice.
“Aren’t you excited to see me?” he joked. He knew he was dodging landmines. He knew she had every right to be angry—he had gotten caught up in everything after Singapore, and after his controversy, he had been dodging her calls and texts, other than to arrange plans to come home for the holidays. Others may have gotten over their frustration, or chose to ignore it for the sake of the holidays. She was not that kind of woman. 
“Oh, I’m thrilled,” she said, her voice flat. “Dinner is almost ready. Can you set the table for five, please?”
“Five? There’s only 4 of us.”
“Well, isn’t YN going to join us?” She already knew the answer. She just wanted to see him squirm as he answered it. He had nowhere to run anymore. 
“Uh
 no. Not this year.”
“And why would that be?”
“She’s, uh, busy.” His mother didn’t respond. He had to fill the awkward silence. “And she’s probably mad at me
”
She paused, holding the knife in an iron grip. She lifted it from the cutting board to point towards him. “And why would that be, Franco?”
“Mami
”
“Do not lie to me.” Her voice was cold as ice.
“Mami, it’s complicated. I don’t want to talk about it. I just want to enjoy the holidays and forget about this whole season.”
“I’m sure you do,” she concluded, not an ounce of sympathy in her voice. Franco sighed, getting down the plates to set the table for his family. But he stopped in his tracks when he turned and felt a slipper to the back of his head. 
“Ah! What was that for?” The blow didn’t hurt anything but his ego.
“You know what you did,” his mother seethed. “You can’t run from this forever. Now get out of my kitchen.”
Franco obeyed, muttering under his breath. 
“What was that?” his mother asked.
“Nothing!” he chirped, setting the plates on the table.
During dinner, it wasn’t any better. His father and sister, oblivious to his mother’s rage, chatted as if nothing had happened. They had been angry at his
questionable dating decisions, yes, but they clearly had let it go in the meantime and decided to just enjoy the time together as a family. His mother, however, had not. 
And whenever anyone asked about it, she said she was fine. But she was clearly not fine. 
As Franco took the dishes into the kitchen to help clean up after dinner, he sighed, knowing that his mother was right. He couldn’t go the entire holiday ignoring it—she would make sure of that.
He couldn’t sleep that night. The bed of his childhood home was warm and comforting, but he couldn’t relax under the weight of it all.
Maybe some fresh air would do him good. That’s what he reasoned when he slid open the back door and inhaled the cool night air. He sat cross legged on the back terrace, just taking in the sounds of the serene night. 
That was, until he heard another person closing the door behind him. His mother. 
“Not now, Mami,” he said, not even turning to look at her.
“I’m not going to chastise you.” She handed him a mug of something warm. For a moment they just sat next to each other, sipping their drinks in silence. 
Franco began to speak unprompted. “YN has every right to be angry at me. I
ruined everything. I was so cruel to her.”
His mother just gave him a reassuring hum.
He continued, “She had feelings for me. I know I should have known it sooner, but I was in denial. But I had feelings for her too. And I got distracted. But it wasn’t her fault. I was so worried about my future that I ignored how she had always been there in my past.” 
The mug in his hands trembled and his voice wavered. “She was always there for me. Every race, every win, every failure. She was always there.”
His mother reached for him, lovingly stroking his back as he confessed.
“She probably hates me now. I don’t blame her.” A tear fell into his mug. He turned to look at his mother, her expression far more sympathetic than it was at dinner. “Can I fix it?”
“I don’t know. But first of all, you owe her an apology.”
“I know.”
“No, you don’t. Because if you did, you would have already done it.” He was silent. “It’s possible that she will forgive you. Or, she may not. You have to accept that.”
“I don’t know what I’d do without her.”
“Franco,” she began, “you did this. You have to suffer through the consequences of your actions. And if you are lucky enough that she forgives you and wants you back in your life, it’ll be a hell of a lot of work to regain her trust.” 
He nodded. “I’ll do it. I’d do anything.”
“Then why haven’t you?”
He paused. “I’m scared. Scared that it really is beyond saving.”
“The longer you wait, the more likely that is to be true.” 
This time, he actually knew what he needed to do.
Neither of you knew the parallels between you two; each of you pining for the other’s love, wanting nothing more than just to speak to the other. And when he unblocked you and called, it was like the stars aligned.
You didn’t answer. 
He didn’t panic at first. It was close to the holidays, in the middle of the day in your timezone. Maybe you were with your family. 
But as one missed call turned to two, and days of no contact turned to weeks, Franco began to know the bitter taste of his own medicine.
You had seen him call. And yes, you were with your family at the time. You told yourself that was the main reason why you hadn’t answered. As if seeing his contact on your phone didn’t shatter your heart into a million pieces. 
But later that night, when you were finally alone, you couldn’t bring yourself to call him back. He hadn’t left any voicemail or text, just his name and a missed call icon. 
What would you even say to him? He knew you were angry. And you knew you couldn’t just act as if nothing happened.
So despite your desperation to speak to him again, you just let his calls keep coming and coming over the weeks. 
A dark part of you enjoyed having his attention. You waited to see his icon pop up, just to let the call go to voicemail. It made you feel wanted again. 
And you were wanted. When he tried to sleep at night, he wanted you. When he talked with his manager about future plans for the next season—back down to F2—he wanted you. 
Both of you knew it was a delicate balance. He couldn’t keep calling forever. At some point you’d have to answer, or he’d have to stop. But you loved the dark thrill of pushing it. 
And this continued for weeks.
The calls lessened as the F2 season began. Franco was back at work. You had finally let go of the need to watch his races.
But there was another contact you hadn’t ignored: Lily. 
She called you out of the blue one day. “YN! I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”
The last time you saw her—it must have been Austin—felt like years ago.  
“Yeah, it’s been a while,” you replied. 
“Do you
 wanna talk about how you’ve been?” It was late January now. You had spent the weeks just passing time, lost, but somehow also at peace with all of it.
“Um
 not if you don’t want to ruin your day,” you joked. Humor was a good coping mechanism, you had learned. You’d grown tired of explaining to people why Franco was no longer in your life. You had once been so intertwined, and now, nothing. You were thankful that she didn’t press further. 
“Well, we should go out,” she suggested. “I know a great new club in Madrid, and Rebecca and I will be there the weekend before Valentine’s Day.”
Valentine’s Day. The bane of your fucking existence. Worst holiday ever.
But you had spent Christmas in a daze, and New Years alone. You didn’t know if you could do another holiday like that, so acutely aware of Franco’s absence. So you agreed. 
But Lily’s phone call wasn’t as out of the blue as you had thought.
One thing about Franco was that he was determined. If he wanted something, he was going to get it. So yes, he called and called and called and let all his calls be missed.
He couldn’t just text you or leave a voicemail. What he needed to say was too important. He needed to see you.  
So he called up the only other woman he knew besides you and his own mother: Lily. 
He pitched the idea simply. He just needed her to arrange something where you and him would meet. Lily was skeptical. 
“Franco, you know when a woman isn’t answering your calls, it’s usually because she doesn’t want to talk to you, right?” 
“I know,” he signed. “I know she’s pissed at me. She has every right to be. I just want to apologize to her.”
“Then why not, like, send her a letter or something? Trying to organize an event where she’s forced to see you is kind of
creepy.”
Deep down, he knew Lily was right. “It’s not like that, though. I just need to see her, say it to her face. If she gets angry and never wants to see me again, I’ll respect her wishes. But I love her too much to not try.”
Lily was a hopeless romantic if nothing else. And Franco was charismatic and too smooth to deny with his one-liners. 
So she agreed. Besides, she knew you needed a girls night.
And you realized it too when Rebecca and Lily came over to your apartment to get ready a few weeks later. 
You vented to them as they helped you apply your eyeliner and zip up your dress—yes, THAT dress—about how hard the past few weeks had been.
“And then,” you explained, as Rebecca dusted a brush along your cheekbones, “he told me that I didn’t need to be there! As if he wasn’t the one who begged me to go!”
Rebecca made a sour expression. “Girl,” she said, “Good riddance to him.”
When you looked at yourself in the mirror, you nearly gasped. You looked fucking amazing. 
Yes, you were wearing that dress that always reminded you of him—his favorite color, bought while on vacation to see his family. But if he couldn’t see your beauty, someone else would. And right now, that someone was Lily, as she snapped photos of you all before you left for the club and posted them on her story.
As you entered the club, you felt the bass in your bones. Yes, this was exactly what you needed. 
You drank. You danced. You felt the eyes of tipsy men on you.. And for a while, all your troubles faded away.
You approached the bar for your second drink of the night. A man walked next to you, presumably to order his own drink. You recognized him as someone you’d danced with earlier.
“You look great tonight,” he said, eyeing you up and down. His tone was too sleazy for your liking.
“Thanks,” you said, hoping a short response would end the exchange so you could get your drink and make your way back to Lily and Rebecca, who were waiting for you in a booth. 
“D’you always dance like that?”
“Like what?” 
He smirked. “You’re cute when you play dumb like that.”
You genuinely had no idea what the man was going on about. “Sorry, I need to get back to my friends.”
You turned to leave, but the man grabbed your arm. “Don’t you need to get your drink? Stay a minute.”
You grimaced, but a surge of anxiety kept you frozen to your spot. You turned your glaze to the floor, silently beginning for an out.
“So, what’s your name?”
“Uh
” You were unable to answer. You feigned ignorance. “Sorry, it’s loud in here, I can’t hear you.”
“Oh, it doesn’t matter. I don’t need to know your name to take you home tonight.”
“What?” You wanted to puke.
The man started to reach his arm out toward your waist. You stepped back and bumped into someone. You cursed your own awkwardness. When you turned to apologize, you saw a familiar face.
Franco. Fuck. You felt your stomach drop. 
“You know this guy?” The man behind you asked.
“She does,” Franco answered for you. You were grateful—you were unable to speak, choked with anxiety. 
“You let your girl act like that?” 
“Fuck off, mate.”
The man took the hint and shrugged, taking his drink and disappearing into the crowd. 
Your eyes were still glued to the floor. “Thank you,” you said. 
“Don’t thank me,” he said, “it’s the least I could do.”
The bartender handed you your drink. Part of you just wanted to go back to Lily and Rebecca and act like all of this never happened. But by the look of Franco’s face, one of grave seriousness, you knew it wouldn’t be that easy.
But the other part of you was thankful. Thankful that Franco had saved you from that creep, yes, but also thankful that the stars had aligned to bring you and your best friend back together. What were the odds?
Wait. Maybe the stars hadn’t aligned.
“Franco, what are you doing here?” 
Now it was him who looked to the floor in embarrassment. “Lily told me you were here. I asked her to help me talk to you.”
“So you
 arranged to find me in a club, because I wasn’t answering your calls?” 
Franco may be Latino, but he sure had the audacity of a white man. 
“When you put it like that, it sounds bad
”
You rolled your eyes and walked away. He followed you through the crowd. 
“YN, wait! Why won't you answer my calls?”
“Because I have nothing to say to you.” That wasn’t true. You actually had a lot to say, you were just too afraid to say it.
“Okay, I get it. I fucked up. But will you just listen to me? Please?” 
You just kept walking. 
“YN! Please!” You had nearly reached the booths, and he was still following you. You just kept ignoring him. 
“YN—” You slammed down your drink on the table, startling Lily and Rebecca. When Franco came into view behind you, they exchanged knowing glances. 
You turned around to face him. “Are you really begging?” you whispered in a hushed tone. 
“Yes,” he said, his voice equally low. 
Lily got out of the booth, standing next to you. “What’s the harm in just hearing him out?” she said, low enough that he wouldn’t be able to hear her over the thumping bass. 
You swallowed. The harm? You would fall for him again. And he would hurt you again and again. You’d lose him again. A never ending cycle of pain. 
But his pleading expression in front of you was too much to bear. You couldn’t say no to the man you still loved.
“Let’s get some air, hm?” he said, and you nodded, silently following him back to the crowd. He led you to a staircase where a bouncer nodded and silently let the both of you pass. 
The staircase led to the roof of the club, with a beautiful view of the city. The space was clearly set up for patrons to enjoy, but there wasn’t a soul there besides you and Franco. 
The view took your breath away. You had seen so much beauty when you had traveled the world with Franco for his races, but this was home, and he was warm next to you as he snaked his arm around your waist, silently taking in the sight next to you.
You relaxed into the touch. For a moment, you just let everything fade away into the peaceful scene. 
But as you smelled Franco’s familiar cologne and relished the feeling of his touch, you couldn’t help the anxiety that rose in your throat. It felt like it was choking you. You moved forward, forcing his arm away, and leaned against the railing on the edge of the rooftop.
“Say what you have to say,” you said plainly. 
“I want to apologize.” His opening sentence was simple, yet powerful. “YN, I was horrible to you. I lied and I betrayed your trust. I blamed all my problems on you, when you were the only one who was ever there for me.”
You watched the cars on the road below, like ants in a colony.
He continued, “And you were right, about everything.” 
The silence in the air was thick.
Your voice was shaking when you began. “Franco, you made me feel like I was insane. You
 you accused me of using you. You called me a distraction. You said I was disgusting. You uninvited me from the last races and you blocked me.”
“You tried to call?”
“Of course I did.” The tears in your eyes threatened to mess up your mascara that Rebecca had so carefully applied. “I tried to call you before Abu Dhabi. I wanted to forgive you and be there for your last race.”
“Shit, YN
 I’m so fucking sorry.”
“I don’t know if I can forgive you now.”
It was him, now, who had eyes full of tears. “YN, I
I love you. I can’t lose you. I know I hurt you, and it kills me. But I miss my best friend. My friend who skipped prom to come to a race. My friend who helped me dry my clothes after she found me trying to use an oven to do it. My friend who is the only one that really gets my sense of humor.”
You finally broke down at his confession. He reached out to hold you.
“Don’t cry,” he whispered. “I’m here. It’s gonna be okay.”
He let you cry it out, before pulling back and looking at you. He gently used the pad of his thumb to wipe away your tears and fix your smeared makeup.
“I can’t ask for everything to go back to normal,” he said, looking you in the eyes. His eyes were teary, too. “I know I can’t. I did things that are beyond awful. But I promise you that if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I’ll do whatever I can to regain your trust. You’re too important to me.”
All you could do was bury yourself in his chest. He wasn’t expecting the sudden gesture, but he slotted his arms around you like they always belonged there. He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. You don’t know how long you stood there, warm in his embrace. You could have stayed there for years. 
You were brought out of the perfect scene by the sound of a notification on your phone. You broke the hug after a moment to check it. A text from Lily: everything okay?
You chuckled. “I think Lily is worried about us.”
“Well,” he asked, “is everything okay?”
He wanted an answer. You didn’t know if you could say it. 
But is this not what your entire journey had been leading up to? You had begun writing in your journal to communicate what you feel. And now, you had no choice. 
You were strong. You had changed.
“I want to forgive you,” you said. “But it won’t be easy. It’ll take time.”
“I have all the time in the world.”
“And I can’t promise that I won’t be scared or insecure.”
“Whatever you need, I’ll do. I’ll listen, I’ll show you—”
“Franco.” You cut him off. “I know. I love you.”
You couldn’t name the expression on his face. Like relief. Or love.
“Can I kiss you?” he asked. 
You were scared of what door that would open, of how much you truly wanted him to. So you didn’t speak. You just reached up to caress his cheek and tell him with your actions.
Your lips met his, and all the sorrow melted away. You could feel the vibrations of the club under your feet, the gentle pumping of blood through his veins, faster now that he could touch you. He pulled you in by the waist, and you brought your other hand to the back of his neck, making the space between you infinitesimally small. 
But you pulled away before he could deepen the kiss. You couldn’t rush it, no matter how badly you wanted it. 
When you opened your eyes, he had that expression you had grown to yearn for; it gave away how badly he needed more of you. You could feel a blush rise to your cheeks at the thought of his wanting.
“We should go back down before Lily gets too worried,” you said. He smiled and nodded, but as his expression of desire faded away, you saw the familiar signs of anxiety. He didn’t know how far to push, how comfortable to act. 
You grabbed his hand. “And then, you should dance with me.”
His tentative smile grew more relaxed. “Of course.”
Turns out, there’s nothing an honest conversation and a little alcohol couldn’t fix. And in the aftermath of the former, you definitely indulged in the latter—maybe a little too much. 
You went downstairs to retrieve your drink that Lily and Rebecca had so kindly watched for you. It was a little watered down from the ice melting, but it would do the trick. 
Rebecca helped you fix your makeup as Lily glared at Franco for making you cry. He knew he’d have work to do to earn back their trust, too, but he was more than willing. 
So when you were ready, he wasted no time taking you out to the dancefloor to give you the night of your life. 
The only problem was that Franco was not a frequent club goer, and therefore unable to handle his liquor. And you all had a lot to drink that night. 
You finally cut him off when he threatened to get on the table and start stripping. 
“Oh, Lord, Franco, I’m cutting you off, you’ve had too much to drink,” you slurred. You were tipsy yourself, in no state to talk, but at least you were committed to staying clothed for the night. 
“What are you gonna do? Fuck me about it?” he joked, sticking his tongue out playfully. 
You don’t know if the blush on your face was from the drinks or his taunting. But God, even when he was wasted, he looked so good. As the night had progressed, he had become more disheveled, his shirt buttons coming undone to expose his toned chest and a sheen of sweat from all the dancing. He leaned over, running a hand along your cheek. “Bet you would want that, wouldn’t you?” 
“Okay, time to get you home!” you told him. Lily and Rebecca had left a bit earlier, satisfied that their mission was accomplished. 
You got up and tried to corral your drunk friend out of the club. He didn't want to cooperate, though. 
“No, YN, I don’t want to go home! I missed you, dance with me!” He reached out to grab your waist, his hands wandering up and down your body. 
“Franco, you’re drunk,” you said, moving out of his grip. “I’m calling an Uber and getting you home.”
It’s not like his touch was unwelcome. But you were in public and he was inebriated, unable to consent to what he was actually doing. You knew it was time to go. 
You finally dragged him outside as you waited for the Uber on the corner. You hoped the cool night air would sober him up a bit.
“Have I told you that you look fucking gorgeous tonight?” he slurred. You ignored him as you watched the little car icon drive closer and closer. 
“I always loved that dress on you,” he continued, “but it’d look better off of you.”
“Our Uber is here!” you said through your blush. 
But even in the Uber, he was relentless. 
“I missed youuuuu” he cooed in your ear.
“I missed you too, but could you not be a whore for 5 minutes?” you laughed. You hoped the humor would distract him. He lowered his voice to a husky whisper.
“But YNNNNN, I want you so fucking badly. Every part of you, even the parts that you’re ashamed of—fuck, especially those parts. I want to know the version of you that you’re scared to be. I want you to use me like a toy to get what you want. And when I read what you wrote I was
 fuck, I couldn’t stop myself. Every day I’d read it and touch myself and wish it was you. God, I just need to fuck you so badly—“ he practically moaned in your ear as his hand again reached to your waist.
You grabbed him by the wrist, stopping him in his tracks. His doe eyes looked up at you, deceptively innocent, hiding behind them the true depths of his lust.
You moved his hand away and let go. He was silent and still.
“Franco, you are drunk. I am going to get you home and you are going to get some rest.”
“I know you’re mad at me. You should be, I’m a fucking idiot,” he slurred. “But you can take it out on me, on my body—“
“Franco! We are in public,” you hissed through gritted teeth.
“Is being horny a crime? You can arrest me, put me in restraints—” 
The Uber pulled up in front of your apartment and you wasted no time getting Franco out of the car and up the stairs. You made sure to tip the driver well. 
Franco didn’t even let up as he collapsed on your bed, dizzy from stumbling up the stairs and into your apartment. He grabbed you, pulling you back to the bed, burying his face in your hair.
“You smell so good,” he muttered. You wrestled free from his grip, throwing a pillow back at him playfully. 
“I am not going to fuck you when you’re this drunk. Get changed and go to sleep.” 
He pouted, but complied, undressing agonizingly slowly behind you. You had turned away to give him privacy, but your mind wandered as you heard the shuffling of his clothes. 
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” he apologized, still behind you.
“You didn’t,” you said, and it was true; you loved that he wanted you, just
not in that setting. “Just sleep it off. I’ll take the couch.”
“No, come here,” he said, patting the side of the bed. You turned and jumped, seeing that instead of changing into the pair of old pajamas that he had left at your place many months ago that you had laid out for him, he had just stripped down to his underwear.
“Absolutely not,” you said, your face turning a bright red. “Put some clothes on.”
“But it’s hot in here!”
“Then I’ll take the couch.”
“YN just snuggle with me—”
You cut him off by closing the bedroom door. 
A few hours later, you were convinced that you had the world’s most uncomfortable couch. You couldn’t sleep a bit. 
You filled the hours by scrolling on your phone. The F1 gossip pages were calling your name. 
The reappearance of YN! The former friend (and suspected ex girlfriend) of Williams reserve driver Franco Colapinto was featured in a post from a nightclub in Madrid with current Williams wags Lily Muni He and Rebecca Donaldson. Several attendees also caught videos of her dancing with a mysterious man that is definitely not Franco. YN hasn’t been publicly seen since the 2024 Brazilian Grand Prix, which fans assume has something to do with Franco’s fling with a controversial Argentine actress.
Above the caption was a slideshow: the pictures of you, Lily, and Rebecca on the first slide, and the next being a video of you dancing with the creep. You cringed at the memory.
The top comment made you chuckle: I can’t believe Franco fumbled his 2025 seat AND a baddie. 
You scrolled to the next post. 
Former F1 driver for Williams, Franco Colapinto, spotted in a nightclub in Madrid getting very handsy with best friend YN! 
The two have not been seen together since the Brazilian Grand Prix in 2024. At the time, fans speculated that the two were dating, but sources close to the driver reported that a falling out regarding Franco’s dating controversies during the season led him to cancel her VIP pass for the last triple header.
But luckily for Franco x YN shippers, the pair seem to be quite comfortable with each other again. Do you think they’ll make it official soon? Comment your opinion below!
Fuck. Someone had gotten a video of you trying to get Franco out of the club, and without context, it looked bad.
You were pushing him off of you, yes, but not because you didn’t want his touch. You were just afraid of this exact scenario happening. You prayed a silent apology for his manager. 
Your scrolling was interrupted by the sound of Franco waking up and stumbling into your kitchen for a glass of water. Even with only a few hours of rest, he had slept off the drunkenness, but was left with a horrific hangover. 
You probably should have just pretended to be asleep until he went back to bed. But, against your better judgement, you got up to meet him at your kitchen counter.
He still hadn’t put any clothes on. Typical.
“You alive there?” you joked.
He downed his entire glass of water. “Barely,” he grimaced. “Worth it, though.”
You gave him a half smile. “You’re probably gonna have a million notifications from your manager. I tried my best.” You handed him your phone to watch the video.
“Jesus, that’s how I looked? I’m sorry.”
“I didn’t mind. But it’s a good thing that you probably don’t remember what you said.”
“Oh no, I remember.” You blushed. “And I don’t regret a word. I meant everything I said.”
“Franco, when we were in the Uber, you said I could use your body as a toy.” You cringed as you repeated his words back to him.
“I know. Offer still stands.”
“Franco
”
“YN, be honest with me. If I was sober, and we were alone, what would you have done?”
You swallowed. He was sober. You were alone.
He saw the thoughts cross your eyes. He broke the space between you walking to the other side of the counter. He pulled you in by the waist until all that separated you was the thin fabric of your pajamas and his underwear.
The breath had been taken from you. “Talk to me,” he said. You couldn’t. The anxiety choked you. “YN, I’m tired of pretending like I don’t want you.”
“Don’t do this to me, Franco,” you pleaded. “I want this but 
 we shouldn’t.” You looked away. You couldn’t handle the intensity of his gaze
“Why not?”
“Because
 we just made up. I don’t want to lose you again.”
“You won’t. I’m here to stay. Trust me. If I promise that everything will be okay, will you trust me?”
You paused. “
 I can’t. I don’t trust you. Not yet, at least.”
You had to be honest with him, but it broke your heart to say those words. You didn't know yet if he was genuine, or if his fling with the actress hadn't worked out and he was using you as a placeholder. The thought made you want to puke. 
He loosened his grip on you. Your words felt like a thousand knives going through his chest, but he knew he was going to have to face the very real consequences of his actions. 
“I understand,” he said. “Just let me hold you. I know my words don’t mean much anymore. But I promise I’ll do everything in my power to earn back your trust, and I mean it.”
He buried his face in your hair. “Come back to bed with me.” You knew the request was innocent, so you allowed it, snuggling up into his warm chest and falling asleep as the sun began to peak in the sky outside. “I’m letting go of you. Never again,” he murmured. Both of you knew that it wasn't about the sex, or about how right you felt curled up next to him. It was something deeper, more intimate, than the bare skin that he now innocently wrapped his arm around. 
When you woke up, for a moment, you thought you had dreamed the whole thing. But the soothing sound of Franco’s soft snoring proved you wrong. 
Over breakfast, you laid out boundaries. You both needed to take things slowly, build up the trust that had been lost.
But when you woke up a week later on Valentine’s Day to a bouquet of pink roses on your nightstand, you couldn’t help but blush darker than the petals, remembering the reference from your diary. 
Franco had planned to take you out, and of course, you wore his favorite dress. 
The night was perfect—a little too perfect. In the back of your mind, you couldn’t help remembering the salacious ending to that diary entry, replaying the fantasy over and over in your mind. But as he took you home for the night, Franco was ever the gentleman, perfectly keeping his hands to himself.
The longer you looked at him, the more you wanted him to touch you. 
You had only made it to your apartment for a few seconds when the sight of Franco taking off his suit jacket was too much to bear. You grabbed him by the collar, pulling him into a frantic kiss. 
He wasn’t complaining, of course.
He took your actions as a sign, gently pushing you into the wall behind you until you were pinned. His lips never left yours, instead deepening the connection, tongues exploring each other’s mouths.
When you did come up for air, there was a faint hint of your lipstick on him. He chuckled. “Mi amor, what was that?” he teased, stroking your cheek and he looked down on you. He rested his arm above your head, leaning his body into yours. You could feel both of your chests breathing heavily with a growing desire.
“I wanted you.”
“I thought you wanted to wait?” He was right. You didn’t want to rush into physical things so early. Franco had been nothing but respectful and apologetic all week, but still, only those few days had passed. 
“...Yeah,” you said. You were frustrated at him. For being so fucking attractive. For making you want him so badly.
“It’s alright, hermosa,” he teased, “I’m sorry that I’m so irresistible.” Only a week since you all had made up, and he was already back to reading your thoughts.
“Oh, hush.” 
In the following weeks, Franco’s return to racing made resisting him a lot easier. He had asked you to come to a few races, but you had declined. The memories of his time in F1 were too fresh, the wounds not quite sealed. Besides, you didn’t want to be seen in public with him just yet. You hadn’t exactly made your relationship official—though neither of you were talking to other people—and you were anxious for the public eye to be on you again. 
That was, until Franco got a very exciting phone call. 
Carlos Sainz had gotten in a minor biking accident—nothing major, just a sprained wrist, but enough that he needed to take a week off to heal—so Franco would be back in his car.
When he asked you to return to the F1 paddock with him, this time, you couldn’t refuse. 
So that’s how you found yourself in a hotel room with your best friend (and now sort-of boyfriend). 
Before bed on Wednesday night, after a long day of meetings, he wanted nothing more than to come back to the hotel and lay in your arms. And that’s exactly what he did.
You absentmindedly ran your fingers through his hair. “You nervous for tomorrow?” you asked.
“No,” he answered truthfully, “not one bit.”
“Really?”
“Yes, I mean, I have nothing to lose. Nothing could be worse than the end of last season.”
“Franco, don’t say that.”
“It’s true, though.” He chuckled. “I can’t fuck up any worse than I already did. For a while there, I lost everything.”
You stopped playing with his hair to crane your neck down and kiss the top of his head. “Well, I’m not going anywhere,” you said. 
He sat up, looking you dead in the eyes, his expression as serious as it could get.
“I love you.”
You were taken aback for a moment. You had both said it back in February when you confessed, but it was different now; more real, vulnerable. 
“I love you too.”
“I want you to be mine.” His gaze traced the line from your lips to your eyes, finally meeting you where you couldn’t look away.
“I already am.”
“Then I’m yours, too. And I want the world to know it.”
You finally broke the stare, looking down at the comforter. “I’m nervous about what people will say.”
“YN, who gives a fuck what they say? They’re not here. They don’t know us.” You knew, deep down, that he was right, but that did nothing to temper your anxiety.
Franco playfully grabbed you and pulled you to sit on his lap. You let out a yelp that dissolved into laughter as you saw the smile on his face. 
“I don’t care what anyone says. You’re my girl, yeah?” 
You smiled too. “Yeah.”
“And I'm yours. You wanna prove it?” he teased, pulling down the collar of his shirt, exposing his neck. “Show them all what’s yours, hm?”
“Franco,” you said, blushing, “everyone will see.”
“That’s the point, mi amor.”
“Your manager will kill me if you show up to media day covered in hickeys.”
“I’ll cover them up.” You knew better. He absolutely would not cover them up. He’d wear them like a badge of honor.
But Franco’s refusal to be media trained was one of the many qualities you loved about him.
“Come on, you know you want to,” he teased. He was right. Right now you wanted nothing more than to cover him in love bites, claiming him as yours. 
But you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he could read you so well.
“Oh, hush,” you said, grabbing his chin to bring him into another drawn out kiss. 
You trailed the kiss down to his neck, finally giving in to his request. Yes, he was yours. And now the world would see it.
You relentlessly nipped at the rough skin, enjoying the soft but labored breaths that came from Franco. You kissed his earlobes, his jaw, his collarbones, until you found that perfect spot on his neck. He gasped when your teeth met his skin, softly moaning when you gently sunk your teeth in and sucked to leave a bright red mark.
You pulled away, and his expression was one of deep wanting. Sitting on his lap, you could feel him hardening under you, desperate for whatever he could get of you. 
You rested your hands on the hem of his shirt. “This is getting in my way,” you complained.
He wasted no time in taking it off. 
He slid his hands under your shirt too, drawing you closer to him, burying his face in your neck and smothering it with kisses. You gently grinded down on him, giving both of you the friction you so desperately needed.
But you didn’t want to be the focus of the night. You took back control, running your hands through his hair and roughly pulling it, forcing his head back.
His doe eyes on you were full of lust. He paused for a moment.
“Sorry, was that too much?” you whispered, embarrassment beginning to flush your face bright pink.
“Oh no, I..” he panted, “I liked that a lot.”
You smiled, and went right back to your attack on his skin. He ran his hands up and down your back underneath your shirt, teasing with the clasp of your bra.
You felt his phone buzz in his pocket. You both ignored it. 
“YN
” he exhaled, a breathy moan. You pulled back, seeing the red flush on his face. You could feel his excitement beneath you.
“Can I take this off?” he asked, his hands tugging at your top.
You weren’t quite sure what to answer. You figured that you’d sit down and talk before your first time. You all hadn’t gone beyond heavy kissing—Franco had been respectful of your desire to wait. But it had been months now, and he’d gone above and beyond to prove that you could trust him.
His phone buzzed again. And again, you both ignored it.
“You don’t have to if you’re nervous,” he said. “We only go as far as you want.”
You nodded, silently giving him permission. He leaned in to softly press one last kiss to your lips before moving to pull off your top.
Only for his phone to ring, ruining the moment.
Your shirt remained on as he fumbled to get his phone out of his pocket and turn it off. But the caller was James Vowels.
You both saw the contact info and knew that the mood had been ruined.
“I’m sorry, amor, I have to take this—” he apologized as you climbed off of his lap and he answered the call.
As he spoke, you took a deep breath, trying to process what had just happened, and what was about to happen before you had been cockblocked by the William’s team principal. 
After only a minute he hung up the call, continuing to apologize. “I’m so sorry, they need me right now.” His voice was full of urgency. 
“It’s okay, go,” you assured him, your tone genuine. He placed a chaste kiss on your cheek before grabbing a Williams quarter zip from the floor to cover up the darkening marks on his neck. 
He raced down to the hotel conference room, hoping that his
little problem would not be visible in what had sounded like a very important meeting. The tone in James’ voice had been one of immediacy, and Franco had no idea what to expect. 
And when he finally made it to the room, he was met with faces both new and familiar: James, his manager, and
Aston Martin employees?
He made a confused face and he gave the group a cursory nod and sat down in the last remaining seat, next to his manager. 
“Oh, Franco, you’re here,” James said, exhaling. “We have some exciting news.”
His manager had a smile that beamed across the room. “We’ve been talking to these lovely folks from Aston Martin,” she said, gesturing to the other side of the table. “It hasn’t been officially announced yet, but soon they’ll be putting out a statement. Fernando Alonso is retiring.”
Franco gave them a polite smile, unsure of what that information had to do with him.
“So, Aston Martin would like to offer you the seat for 2026.”
Franco felt the air leave his lungs. “I
uh
yes,” he said, too stunned to really speak. “Yes, I want it. Where do I sign?”
“Well, not so fast,” his manager responded. “We have a lot to discuss regarding the new contract, brand deals, buying you out of your Williams contract
”
But Franco was on cloud nine. His manager’s words faded into the background. He felt like heaven had opened up, and the absolute novel of a contract that now sat on the table in front of him was dropped directly there by God Himself. He could even hear the chorus of angels singing. 
His presence there was merely a formality, it seemed, as the Aston Martin officials and his manager talked back and forth on minute details for what felt like hours. Nothing would be set in stone today, of course, but she wasn’t lying when she had said that a mountain of work laid ahead of them. 
As the time droned on, the officials filtered out one by one, leaving only Franco and his manager alone in the conference room.
“I’m so proud of you, kid,” she said, patting him on the shoulder. “You really earned this.”
“Thank you,” he replied, genuine. 
“Look, go back to your room and get some rest. You’ve got a big day tomorrow. But this is strictly confidential, you hear me? You can’t tell a single soul. Not even your own mother. Not even YN.”
“I hear you.”
“And, tomorrow, maybe cover that up better, yeah?” she said, gesturing to her neck. But Franco felt no shame.
“Well, can’t help that you all called at a very inconvenient time.”
His manager grimaced. “I didn’t need to know that. Get some rest,” she laughed, shaking her head. Even she was too happy to truly scold him. 
When he finally returned to the room hours later, you had already fallen asleep waiting for him. He quietly undressed and got in bed, gently brushing your hair out of your face to gaze on your sleeping form.
You were perfect. He had gotten the seat and the girl; what else could a man ask for?
The morning was chaotic. You had both overslept. 
“I’m sorry about last night, amor,” Franco said as you applied concealer to his neck. “It was urgent, and they kept me there for hours.”
“What was it about?” You gently dabbed a makeup sponge across the reddened skin.
“I can’t say. Strictly confidential. But it’s amazing, you’ll see.” He beamed, but you made a face at him. Smiling flexed his neck muscles and made it harder to cover up the evidence of your intimacy.
At the paddock, it was chaos as usual. It was the return of the Franco Colapinto—now triumphant, having had a solid season in F2 so far—and this time, he walked in with you on his arm. 
The only problem was that Franco kept tugging at the neckline of his quarter zip, and the friction was causing the hastily applied makeup from the morning to smudge, revealing the marks beneath.
Thankfully, no reporters said anything. But the fans online certainly were.
Steamy! Franco Colapinto arrives today at the paddock with suspected girlfriend YN in tow, and the driver appears to have several red marks on his neck. YN and Franco have not confirmed any relationship other than being friends, and this is the first race she has attended since Brazil 2024.
COMMENT: Franco showing up to the paddock absolutely covered in hickeys was not on my 2025 bingo card
COMMENT: Okay but that is so on brand for him. This man simply does not give a fuck and I love it.
You chuckled to yourself as you read the comment. But you tensed up as you felt Franco’s manager walk up next to you. You were already anticipating the earful she’d give you.
“He’s a natural at this, ain’t he?” she asked, more a statement than a question. In the distance, Franco was making a reporter laugh.
“Yeah,” you said. Franco’s manager always made you nervous, for some reason. 
“I’m so proud of him.”
“Me too.” You paused, unsure of whether to broach the subject. “You’re
unusually chipper today.”
His manager laughed. “Yeah, I guess so. But even I have to relax sometimes. I mean, he’s doing a great job.”
“I heard there was some exciting news. Franco wouldn’t tell me what, though.”
His manager’s casual smile now stretched from ear to ear. “Oh yeah, big stuff. But top secret.”
“I can’t wait to hear.”
Media day went smooth as butter. Practice 1 and 2 went perfect. With the arrival of Carlos Sainz, the Williams car had vastly improved, and Franco drove like an expert.
Such was evident by his P8 finish in qualifying the next day; his highest ever qualifying in F1. 
Since your night had been interrupted the day before, your wanting of him hadn’t lessened; in fact, it had grown stronger ever since you realized how you truly were ready. But quali day had taken it out of him, and you knew he needed to rest before the Grand Prix tomorrow.
And on that next day, as you watched him climb in the car from the Williams garage, you hoped that he’d put that rest to good use. You said a prayer for his safety even more than his success.
You held your breath through each lap, silently cheering him on through the knots of nervousness in your stomach. But it seems like your prayer was working; he was gaining places, P8 to P5 only a fourth of the way into the race. 
He boxed halfway, and your eyes traced the lines of his car and helmet as he pulled into eyeshot of you and sped away in only a few seconds. He wasn’t looking at you, of course, but it didn’t matter. Your heart felt like it would burst with love.
At first, you didn’t even notice the cameras capturing your sentimental expression. That was, until you glanced away from his car in the distance and looked toward the screen. You were shocked to see your own reflection, captioned with your job title and ‘Franco Colapinto’s partner.’
He really was yours, now. You smiled at the camera and waved before it cut away to the action. Franco just kept gaining. He had dropped a few places after boxing, but made up for it in no time. P4.
You could hear the commentators through your headphones.
“And really, Franco Colapinto is stunning us all here. As we all remember, he had a rather disappointing end to the 2024 F1 season, but he seems to have come back with a vengeance. A podium is a real possibility for him today.”
Your smile couldn’t be contained. He was going to do this. You knew it. 
With only five laps left, he overtook for P3. The garage cheered. You cheered with them. But it wasn’t over yet. It was a tense, wheel to wheel battle. Your heart was beating out of your chest.
He was able to inch just slightly enough ahead to cinch the spot as he crossed the checkered flag.
The William’s garage erupted in applause.
You ran to meet him as he pulled up the car, catching him when he jumped into the arms of the crowd of William’s employees. He nearly ripped off his helmet and balaclava, grabbed your jaw and brought you into a rough kiss.
You broke with a smile. “I love you, I’m so proud of you!” you said, unsure if he could even hear you in the chaos.
“Te amo, YN,” he said, tears of happiness clouding the edges of his vision. He continued speaking in Spanish, but you couldn’t make out what he was saying over the crowd. He had to break the embrace to go to the podium.
As he stood up there, you beamed with pride below. He really had made it.  
After the podium, you hid away in his driver’s room, waiting for all his media obligations to be over so you could go back to the hotel together. To pass the time, you scrolled. The internet was losing their mind over your hard launch.
And even better, people had already uploaded videos of you and Franco exchanging words of love at the barriers. His words were difficult to make out, but a few dedicated lip readers had attempted to decipher the message. But there was no internet consensus just yet.
You made a mental note to ask Franco what he had said later, but for now, you were sure he was exhausted.  
Your assumption was proven correct as he walked into his driver’s room, rolling his shoulders and sighing. But upon seeing you, his face lit up. You greeted him with more hugs and words of praise.
As you both stood there, holding each other, it was like the world around you melted away. 
“YN, can I tell you something?” he muttered into your hair, hand snaked around your upper back.
“Anything,” you answered, your face pressed into his chest.
“I’m not supposed to tell anyone. You can’t let my manager know that I told you.”
You hummed in response, but he broke the hug to look at you, indicating the seriousness of his statement to come.
“I got a contract for 2026.”
Your eyes went as wide as dinner plates. You were speechless.
“Franco
 that’s, oh my God, that’s amazing!” You thought you were going to burst with love for him.
“Nothing is set in stone yet,” he explained, “but she’s been negotiating the contract, and they’ll probably announce it in a few weeks.”
You reached your fingers up to run them through his curls. “You’re incredible.” He blushed.
“I think we should go back to the hotel and celebrate, hm?” he teased.
“You don’t want to go out?”
“We can if you want,” he mused, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek, “but I think the world has seen enough of us today, yeah?”
So you celebrated in your hotel room alone. The bottle of champagne that decorated the desk of the room was left untouched—but you sure as hell weren’t. 
The podium had emboldened him. He explored the curves of your body over your clothes with reckless abandon. You wordlessly helped him remove his shirt, trailing your eyes of the muscles that were sure to be sore in a few hours. You traced the marks you had left the other day, now beginning to fade.
“My turn,” he joked, bringing his lips to your neck to give you your fair share of love bites. He brought one hand to gently hold your neck, while the other inched further and further up your shirt, teasing the edge of your bra. You felt like you could drown in his touch. You closed your eyes and fell deep into bliss. 
“YN,” he whispered, “are you sure you want to do this? Are we ready?”
You swallowed, nervous. “Yes.”
But he could sense your anxiety, and was hesitant to continue. He pulled back, raking his eyes up and down your form. You couldn’t help your nervousness. But having read your darkest fantasies, he knew what you really wanted. 
“You know, the reason I read your diary is because I knew there was something about you that you try so desperately to hide,” he said, his voice soft and smooth as honey. “I wanted to know whatever part of you that you try to hide away from the rest of the world,” he let his hands trace down the length of your arm, and leaned in closer to whisper in your ear, “and that part of you is that you’re a needy girl who’s desperate to get fucked.” 
A shiver ran down your spine at the vulgarity of his words, a side to him you’d never seen.
He brought his hand from your arm to your neck, gently tracing the curve towards your chin. “And there’s nothing wrong with that, of course.” 
His voice was soft and tender, but when his hand grabbed your chin and forced you to face him, his expression was anything but. “You just needed a man who can fuck you like the desperate girl you are.” Your eyes widened at his words, and you could feel the warmth rush to your cheeks in a rosy blush. 
His eyes met yours. “Just say the word, mi amor. Do you trust me? Will you let me fuck you like you want
 no, like you need to be fucked so badly? I can do it. I’m not afraid. I want to give you everything you’ve ever dreamed of
” His voice trailed off as he turned his head and closed the gap between you, placing his lips right below your ear. The kiss was soft and made you release your breath. “Say it, YN. Tell me you want this as bad as I do.” 
“You really want this?” you said, your voice almost trembling with anticipation.
His lips near your ear were going to be the death of you. “Of course. Can’t you feel how badly I do?” he whispered. You could feel him beneath you, hardening with every second that went past. You imagined the feeling of grinding your hips down on his length, recalling the memories of only a few days before. 
Oh God, how badly you wanted to. You wanted to give him everything. You could feel his soft breath on your neck, his hands now resting on your waist, tentatively waiting for your permission to resume roaming the curves of your body. But your breath was caught in your throat.
“Franco
” The soft exhalation of his name was all you can muster. “What, amor?” he replied. You swallowed and closed your eyes, knowing your next word would let the floodgates of your desire open.
“Please.”
His lips met your neck in a kiss that was tentative at first, like you were something fragile that could be broken by his touch. But the feeling of his soft lips finally meeting your skin caused you to draw in a breath. 
“You want to take the lead, or should I?” he asked. 
“You,” you answered simply, too distracted by the absolutely heavenly feeling of his velvet lips on your neck.
He hummed in response. “If you ever want to stop, just tell me, okay?”
“I will.”
He placed one final kiss on your neck and helped you take off your top. You felt his eyes undressing you more than his hands.
He wordlessly turned you around to sit on his lap, your back against his chest. His hands traced lower and lower down your stomach until they met the lacy waistband of your shorts.
“Are you going to be a good girl and take these off for me?” he purred. 
“Why would I do that, when I have you to do it for me?” You could tease him right back. He let out a dark laugh, kissing your neck from behind. 
“Little brat
” he cooed, but you took no offense. He slid your shorts off, and you were left with only your bra and panties. He ran his hands up and down your now exposed stomach. His touch was warm and inviting as it traced down to the now wet fabric of your panties. 
He began slowly, just tracing the skin through the fabric, inching lower and lower. He could already feel how wet you were. “Doesn’t take that much to get you going, hm? So wet just from my words.”
You blushed in embarrassment at his teasing. “Shut up
”
“Oh, amor,” he kissed your cheek, your face now turning away from him. “It’s okay. I know how badly you needed this.”
You let out a breathy moan as he began to outline your pussy with the feather-light touch of his fingers. He tentatively dipped his fingers under the fabric, spreading them around your growing wetness as he circled your clit.
Slowly and carefully, he put a finger inside you curling it up to hit that sweet spot. With his other hand, he roughly groped at your chest. He unclasped your bra with one hand, tossing it across the room, and let his free hand paw at your chest and circle your nipple.
“See, bĂ©bĂ©, what a reward you get when you use your words and tell me what you want?”
“Yes,” you moaned, breathy and full of desire.
“And what do you want?” he asked.
“I want
 you.” The words stuck in your throat, your mind too preoccupied with the pleasure of his thumb swirling softly around your clit and the two fingers now pumping in and out of you. You were vulnerable, at his mercy, but you trusted him. 
“You want me to
?”
“I want you to
 to fuck me.”
“Good girls get what they want. You’ve been so good for me, haven’t you? Can you do one more thing for me?” He smirked, removing his hand from your sensitive bundle of nerves. You already missed the friction. 
“Yes, anything,” you promised. 
“Get on your knees for me.”
You obeyed. The sight of you on your knees below him, gazing at home longingly with your big doe eyes, made his cock twitch. But he saw something beyond obedience in your face.
He knelt down next to you. “Are you still nervous?” he asked.
You laughed. “I’m always nervous.” 
He brushed your hair out of your face, removing all the barriers between the two of you. “Do you want to stop?”
“No. I’m just
 not as experienced as you. What if I'm not good?”
“You’ve already been so good for me,” he said, cradling your face in his hands. “I’ll guide you.”
You watched him with your innocent eyes as he stood up, unbuckled his belt, and took off his pants. You dug your knees into the pillow beneath you as he shed his last remaining layer of clothing.
He had no right to tease you for being so wet, when his own arousal coated him. His cock was dripping precum, so hard that it nearly hurt.
“Open your mouth,” he instructed, and again, you obeyed. He gently led you to him as you pressed your tongue to the bottom of his length and licked up to the sensitive head.
He moaned. “I don’t think you need any help, do you?” You just hummed as your tongue traced the lines of his veins up and down his shaft, before you took as much of him as you could, closing your mouth to trap him in the warmth.
He grabbed your hair to gently guide you to a good rhythm. You looked at him in admiration, but his head was thrown back, eyes closed in bliss. 
He moved your head faster, and you gagged a bit at his cock filling your mouth. You dug your hands into his thighs. Franco cursed in Spanish under his breath.
Soon, he pulled you away. You were embarrassed. Did you do something wrong?
“God, you feel too good. I can’t finish yet. I want to take my time with you.” He led you back to the bed, finally taking time to gaze at your form laid bare before him.
For a moment, he was silent, just taking in the sight of you. “You’re beautiful, YN.”
You blushed. “You don’t need to flatter me, you already got in my pants,” you joked.
“It’s not flattery,” he replied as he crossed the room to grab a condom from his bag and put it on, “it’s true.”
He returned to the bed, climbing on top of you. “You’re perfect. Every part of you.”
The vulnerable praise made you uncomfortable. “Franco
” 
“Touch me, amor.” You obeyed, bringing your hands to his broad shoulder, bracing for what you knew would come next.
“You may not think you’re beautiful, but I do. And I’ll make love to you as many times as I need to until you believe it.”
You blushed and brought your hands to your face. You were not immune to his Argentine charm. He gently pulled your hands away, kissing your wrists, so he could see your face. 
As he guided himself to your entrance, he slowly and carefully slid inside you with a deep groan. His eyes rolled back into his head at the heavenly feeling of your pussy, and your breath hitched.
He stopped to give you a moment to adjust to his length. You felt filled and warm; all his. 
For a moment he just stayed there, still, looking down at the sight of you stuffed with his cock, ready to be ravished.
“You alright?” he asked, softly tracing circles along your hips with his hands. You nodded through the sweet burn of being stretched on him.
But he could feel the tension in you. “Just relax, YN,” he cooed at you. “I’m going to take good care of you, hm?” 
He leaned down to place a gentle kiss on your forehead and you whined. He whispered something in Spanish, too fast and incoherent for you to understand, but with a soft enough tone to recognize the love behind the gesture.
His thrusts at first were slow and shallow, giving you time to adjust. As he gently fucked you, he leaned down to softly whisper sweet nothings into your ears. You felt safe in his arms. 
But soon the softness faded away into lust. You both wanted it, and you showing him by how you sang a chorus of noises the faster he fucked you. His rough thrusts brought forth sinful noises from the both of you, lost in your pleasure. “It’s okay, YN. I know how badly you needed this,” he cooed, his own breath strained. “And I needed it too. I needed to feel you wrapped around me. You feel so fucking good, so tight and wet.”
His words weren’t lost on you. “Fuck, Franco
” you begged between his thrusts. You dug your nails into his back as he continued his unrelenting pace.
“Talk to me, pretty girl,” he said, slowing down for a moment. “You okay? Is it good?”
“So good,” you responded. “Don’t stop.”
He wordlessly continued, pumping his full length into you with reckless abandon. You were sure that your nails in his back would draw blood with how roughly you clung to him.
All you could do was take it, all of him, and let the moans and gasps fall from your lips with every touch.
As he sped up, his tone changed, becoming something rougher. He was clearly emboldened by the noises that left your mouth with every movement.
“I love hearing your pretty little noises. I want you to scream for me. Fucking scream my name,” he commanded. You didn’t have the strength in you, too distracted by how good he felt, burying his cock in you. 
“F- Franco,” you gasped. He pulled back so you could see him and grabbed your chin, forcing you to look him directly in the eyes.
“What’s that, love? Did you say something, or am I fucking you too good that you can’t even speak properly?”
“Franco, I—” you were cut off by your own whine, “I’m gonna cum.”
“Oh, pretty girl,” he cooed at you, “let go. Cum for me.”
You wanted nothing more than to obey him, and you came closer to the edge hearing his command. 
“I want you to look at me when I make you cum,” he instructed. You nodded at him.
But he slowed his pace down to a torturously slow speed, savoring how every inch of him went in and out of your drenched pussy. 
Even with his switch, you could feel that knot in your stomach tightening, threatening to explode as you held his intense gaze. Any self consciousness you would have had was cast aside by your desperate need to obey him.
And when he moved his hand from your hips down to your sensitive clit and began to rub, you couldn’t help but follow his command, climaxing in his arms.
He held you as you let the waves of pleasure come over you, not letting up his soft assault on your bundle of nerves. Even as you began to buck your hips involuntarily from the sensitive touch, he just whispered, “It’s okay, mi amor. I’m here. I’ve got you.”
He softly shushed your whimpers of pleasure, gently running his free hand up and down your curves. “Are you okay to keep going? Because you know I’m not done with you yet.”
You didn’t know if you could handle any more, but you sure as hell weren’t going to tell him to stop. You’d waited too long for this, wanted it too badly, to go back now.
You nodded, so he kept going, hitting every spot inside you just right, causing you to throw your head back in pleasure. He was careful not to overwhelm you, taking an even and steady pace, but neither of you could help so heavenly it felt to have him inside of you.
Franco chased his own release, sitting up so he could see your whole body as he fucked you. He held onto your hips hard enough to leave marks, but you’d gladly wear them with pride. 
It didn’t take long for him to pull out and rip off the condom, pumping his hand up and down his length. 
“YN, I’m so fucking close,” he moaned. “Where—”
You didn’t answer him, just leaning down to take him in your mouth. He grabbed the back of your head, roughly pushing you closer to him.
“Don’t stop, you’re gonna make me cum, don’t—” 
He couldn’t finish his sentence before he climaxed, filling your mouth and letting out a low and low groan.
You pulled away from him and swallowed the stickiness that coated your mouth. 
He collapsed on the bed next to you. “Fuck, YN.” You laid down next to him. “That was so good.” His chest was still heaving with the intensity of his orgasm. 
But as he turned to you, the lust left him, growing into something softer as he brushed your hair out of your face. You were both covered in a thin sheen of sweat.
“You okay?” he asked.
You hummed and nodded, closing your eyes and leaning into him, taking in the smell of sex and his cologne. You couldn’t get close enough to him.
He kissed the top of your head. “I’ve got you,” he assured. You were too overwhelmed to say anything. He just held you. 
Eventually, you both got up to take a shower before you both got ready for bed. Snuggled close to him, you felt the quiet warmth of his presence protecting you, and it lulled you to sleep quicker than anything else ever could.
When you woke up in the middle of the night, you checked your phone. The internet sleuths had finally deciphered what Franco had said to you—a heartachingly sweet confession of love. He had said you were his life, his everything. He couldn’t have done it without you. 
Within the thin crack of light from blinds and the streetlights outside, you could see Franco’s backpack, with your diary still in it. If you wanted to, you could have stolen it back. But instead, you left it be, snuggling deeper into the bed to get close to the man you loved who slept peacefully beside you. 
It was true that more work needed to be done until you all could fully communicate with no difficulties—no language barriers, no journals, just heartfelt words. But you knew you both could do it. You loved each other too much to not. 
So you smiled as you felt his arm sleepily wrap around you and pull you close. You were safe. You were home. 
370 notes · View notes
aureatchi · 8 months ago
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⋆ ✩ ËšïœĄâ‹† THIS SUMMER NIGHT WE FIND SCATTERED DREAMS, I ONCE AGAIN RUN IN THE STARLIGHT ft. dazai, chuuya, fyodor, sigma.
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— what it’s like to stargaze with them. (& more)
a/n. sadly, i have yet to see the aurora borealis and in general, seldom get to see the stars. (light pollution my no.1 enemy !!) but a girl can dream :) (& distract herself from the latest bsd chapters..)
info. fem!reader. fluff. soft everyone lol. some of them are nerds & ramble abt stars. :) + a little poetic. mentions of greek mythology. kissing. buildup to actual topic. profanities in chuuya’s & he may or may not use sskk to help. bsd manga/ability spoilers in fyodor’s.
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DAZAI : so in this instance, i’d be perseus, and you’d be andromeda. — he listens to everything you have to say.
Your palm in his, the brunette’s pretty fingers wrapped around yours. He softly massaged your hand as you began telling him, your starstruck lover a story under the show of constellations. It had formed into a little routine since the first time you stargazed with him as a date.
“There was this princess,” you started. “Princess Andromeda. She was a very beautiful woma-”
“You’re more beautiful, though,” Dazai interrupted. You didn’t even get in two complete sentences without his commentary. You sat a bit awestruck while he delivered a kiss to your hand.
“Continue, bella,” big brown eyes teased you.
You hastily recovered. “
She was beautiful. And her mother—Queen Cassiopeia—who was very prideful, decided to brag to Poseidon, the Greek god of the seas, that she was prettier than his daughters.”
“I mean, that’s understandable. I brag about you all the time! Why shouldn’t the pretty girl be shown off?”
“Shut up,” you chuckled, reminiscing over the times the detective had shown you off. Whenever you decided to visit the Armed Detective Agency’s office with Dazai, Kunikida would never hear the end of it. When you two went out to eat, he would flatter your name away. “This gorgeous girl would like to order
” “May I please get a table for the angelic lady and I?”
He never failed to fluster you.
“Anyway, Poseidon got angry and decided to send a sea monster to destroy their kingdom. The only way the monster could be pacified was if it could devour Andromeda.”
“A damsel in distress,” Dazai nodded and then dramatically pretended like he was the helpless princess on the ocean. He completely pulled over the blanket the two of you were sharing, using it as a cape—“Someone save me! I’m going to be eaten by a sea monster!”
“‘Samu! I’m cold!”
“Ah, sorry. Perhaps you are the princess, and you need saving from this icy night!” He rewrapped the blanket over your shoulder.
“Stop interrupting me; I’m trying to tell you something!” It was nowhere near icy, but your lover proved his dramaticism even further when a tuft of brown hair grazed your shoulder. He had rested his head on you.
“Oka-ay—sorry, continue!”
“Meanwhile, Perseus—I told you last time, the man who killed Medusa—found Andromeda while flying over with his horse, Pegasus. He immediately fell in love with her, so he slayed the sea monster and rescued her from the rock she was chained to.”
“What a hero,” Dazai said. “So they lived happily ever after?”
“Not yet. Perseus asked Andromeda’s father for permission to marry her but discovered she was already set to marry someone else. And the man she was engaged to got angry that Perseus wanted to marry her.”
“Of course,” he sighed, which puzzled you a bit, but you’d return to his comment later. “I’m rooting for Perseus, though.”
“Well, good for you because the two fought, and Perseus won by showing the other guy Medusa’s head.”
Dazai chuckled. “Nice move! He turned his enemy into his trophy. Imagine if we did that to all our enemies!”
“I think then we’d have a whole army of statues,” you laughed. “But now, he and Andromeda married, and they were able to live happily ever after.
“The gods placed them in the sky so their story would be remembered eternally.” Finished with your recount, you gazed up at the stars.
“The North Star,” you pointed, and when you saw the brunette’s bronze eyes squint, trying to see what you were talking about, you moved closer until you were halfway on his lap.
You took his palm in yours and guided it to a single star.
“That one. All the characters’ constellations I mentioned in the story revolve around that star. Perseus with his sword, Andromeda flying on Pegasus...”
“Huh? That’s the North Star? Isn’t it supposed to be the brightest in the sky or something?” It didn’t stand out from the rest as much as he thought.
You giggled. “That’s a myth, ‘samu. It’s funny you didn’t know that.”
He shrugged. “I never really had time to appreciate and learn about something so peaceful like nature until now.” He turned to you.
“Until you.”
You weren’t sure how, but it was almost as if the moonlight had carved out his pretty face. Ethereal, you had called the moon, and it reflected in your lover’s features. His eyes took in the charm of the millions of lights in the night and synthesized the feeling to bring it back to you.
“If I were one of the gods, I would’ve created a whole galaxy reflecting your soul.”
In the midst of terror and chaos, the detective’s eyes revolved around humans and their violence rather than around the sun and the planets. Eyes and soul—how else could he focus on anything else when that’s all life showed him?
“Because I see the constellations in you—Andromeda, Pegasus, Carina, Orion
” it had been a few months, and throughout you had shown and told him all the stories behind the stars in the sky.
“And now I can stop to smell the flowers, love. I can watch the Ursa Minor, even if I still find it hard to sleep.” You were the bridge to his bronze gaze and iron marrow—you showed him that you were human, but that a heart could really exist without violence or malice.
I see a reason why the nebulas are placed as they are, even if stories are just stories. I see a reason I’m here. With you.
He sealed the thought with a kiss to your lips, under the celestial moon and the heavens’ watch.
You always wondered why Dazai paid such close attention whenever you started rambling—initially, you didn’t think he’d care that much about tales of space. But you understood him a bit better now, his complex heart. You held onto him a bit tighter to him as you kissed him back.


“Oh yeah. What did you mean when you said ‘of course,’ when I started talking about Perseus having to fight over another guy for Andromeda?”
And Dazai was his lighthearted self once again.
“We’re definitely Andromeda and Perseus in another universe,” Dazai winked. “You’ve always deserved to be treated like a princess! I would totally save you from a sea monster. And I’d be an equestrian if I could too—even better, a flying one!”
“Sure
”
“C’mon, bella, you see me at those horse-racing events all the time! Anyway, most important of all, I had to fight for you. Such a tough world when every other man is also at your feet.” He crossed his arms. “Having Medusa’s head would’ve made things so much easier! I really would’ve had a whole army of stone statues if I did.”
“No, you really didn’t need it at all,” you replied, laughing at Dazai, who was now pouting.
“Osamu the demigod: slayer of monsters or not, I only have eyes for you.” You kissed him on the cheek.
“Unlike Andromeda, I wouldn’t let two men fight over me and marry the one who wins.
“I would just choose you right away.”
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CHUUYA : babydoll, you’re worth more than all those stars combined. — he only gives you the best.
“Ah, that’s unfortunate. Thank you for informing me, though,” you said before hanging up the phone.
You didn’t sue them on the line, albeit irritated. Tonight, you were supposed to have a date with Chuuya at one of the fancy restaurants he somehow discovered more of in the city when you thought you finally visited them all, but your reservations were cancelled last minute.
“Hey, princess,” the handsome ginger said when you phoned him next. You could sense a smile through his words on the other end.
“What’s up?”
“Weird-ass restaurant cancelled our plans,” you said. “Not even a refund.”
Chuuya quickly picked up on the disappointment in your voice, and he knew it wasn’t because he didn’t get his money back. Money was nothing—he was a Port Mafia executive. Stacks of bills piled into his hands every day, and he quietly flexed on it through his collection of wine in the cellar, his clothes, and gifts to you.
What he wasn’t wealthy in was time. It had been almost a month since Chuuya had any free time—the boss had been overworking him amidst never-ending Yokohama mayhem. His large penthouse actually proved to be a disadvantage when you were the only one staying in it. It was too empty; it was too quiet for a home, there was an awkward gap in the bed you slept in.
“It’s okay, baby,” came Chuuya’s voice reassuringly. “Don’t worry ‘bout some shitty-ass restaurant.
“Meet me home at the rooftop at the time we originally planned.”
“
Alright,” you replied, unsure of what he was going to do, but you were grateful anyway that you’d get to spend time with him.
“And get ready too, like we originally planned,” he added, and this time, you could imagine the smugness in his smile. “See ya soon.”


The bell chimed as the elevator approached the top of Chuuya’s apartment, signaling that you reached the rooftop.
“Chuu?” you called out as the doors opened. He was nowhere to be found—instead a pathway of candles and a trail of rose petals leading to the other side.
Your heels clicked on the ground as you slowly followed the course. It was dark towards the back of the rooftop, but the front overlooked the entire city of Yokohama.
Another quiet flex.
“Hey, beautiful.” You noticed him before the lively city behind him, before the romantic scene he had set up—the path of petals expanded into scattering around the table Chuuya was sitting at. He was dressed up too—looking as attractive as ever.
“The Nakahara Restaurant,” you hummed, taking a seat in front of him. “Not bad.”
Chuuya smirked. “Not bad? We get Michelin stars, baby. Trust me.”
You giggled. “I don’t know about that, Chuu. You’ll have to prove it to me.” It was like you had turned the tables on him. Usually, he only deemed a restaurant good if you were pleased with the food.
“Alright.” Now, you were going to rate his. You could tell he was going to enjoy this.
“You hungry?”
You nodded.
With a snap of Chuuya’s fingers, you immediately heard footsteps scurrying toward the two of you.
Two young men, one with raven hair until silver tips and the other with an entirely silver head—you realized they were waiters from who knows where—approached you with a dish.
“Appetizers by Executive Nakahara,” the first one said.
“Wait—did you cook everything too?”
“Duuh, you take this for a fraud or something?” Chuuya failed to hide the pride on his face.


The appetizer, entrée, and dessert proved delicious, and you were forced to eat your previous words.
He was talented in just about everything.
Chuuya kicked the two ‘waiters’ out of his house after dessert was served, leaving the two of you finally alone. The candlelight amid the dark sky enveloped your figures in an intimate glow.
“I would’ve been fine with even just takeout,” you laughed after taking a sip out of your wine glass.
He smiled. “As if. It’s a special night, doll, we finally have time to see each other again.”
“Exactly! Seeing you is what matters most,” you said.
“Anyway, thank you, Chuu. I appreciate this so much. And I guess you’re right—you earn a Michelin Star from me.”
Chuuya looked towards the city below you and back. “Didn’t doubt it one bit. But that’s not the only stars we’re getting tonight.”
You looked puzzled. “What do you mean?”
“Don’t get shocked.”
Your lover snapped again—you picked up a slight difference in it this time compared to the previous times he signaled—and suddenly, Yokohama went dark.
You didn’t know how, but the city’s electricity had completely cut off at the mafia executive’s command.
“Chuu—?”
“You’re not looking the right way.”
You had been staring at the pitch-black buildings below in fazed awe, but it seemed to have switched places with the skies as now, small scattered lights began to fade in when you looked up, your eyes adjusting to the dark.
“Chuu!” You stood up in excitement. “We can see stars! In Yokohama!”
The ginger chuckled before pulling out a folded comforter from under the table. “Here, it’s better this way. Now this is what the wine was really for.”


Chuuya had fixed the comforter on the rooftop and pulled out a few pillows so that you were able to lie down and watch above more comfortably.
“I did this a lot when I stayed in Paris for a bit,” he said, explaining how he got the idea. “But the lights stayed on 24/7 there, too, so I had to use a telescope.”
You looked at him thoughtfully. “We could’ve done that too. You really startled everyone just for this.”
As if on cue, you suddenly heard someone shout in the distance, going “Hey! Who the hell turned off all the lights?!” You and Chuuya both snorted.
“Just for you,” he corrected. “I think this is better anyway. They can handle one night without power. And I made sure the hospitals and other important establishments stayed untouched.”
It was crazy how much power the man had. “Not entirely evil then,” you said.
“Yeah, plus I was also really aiming at that restaurant that tried ruining our plans,” Chuuya smirked.
You looked back at the stars and then Chuuya again, who hadn’t taken his cerulean eyes off your face.
You lay together to gaze at the stars. But instead of those, he was looking at you.
You couldn’t stop the flurry of coyness you got. He looked absolutely stunning under the heavens—it was almost unfair. It would be if you weren’t the one who got to see him in such a state. He looked mesmerized—mesmerized with you?
“Hey, you’re going to miss it if you keep staring at me,” you said.
“I’m seeing you and those galaxies for the first time in a while,” Chuuya replied. “I think I’d rather watch you.”
He kissed you while you were still smiling, causing him to grin, too. You felt light and safe around him and the blankets, and he felt the same. All aggression and stress ceased from his head, healed by you and the moonlight.
“Y’can name stars after people too, right?” he asked when you pulled back. “I swear, I’m going to make the next scientist who discovers one name it after you. It’d be way better than those random shitty names they give nowadays.”
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FYODOR : i have the cosmos mapped out, likewise your soul. — you alone, he adores.
There was not a word said as you got into the passenger seat of the car that Fyodor was driving. He had left a note earlier that day—Zolotse, you’re coming with me on a mission tonight. Prepare what you need and bring the sleeping bags, and you had done so with little hesitation.
The sun had already gone down, but you were used to this. Initially, you had thought his job the opposite of himself—the demon was called to bizarre places sporadically and had to adapt to their settings in a short amount of time. You only realized after being with him for a while that he planned these things beforehand, and he planned them long ago.
The job was made for him—his little game of fate and chess.
He drove for around four hours straight. In that time, you had put on your favorite music, and talked with him about the usual—your latest philosophical obsession, anything interesting about his latest endeavors—you hadn’t realized you had gotten so far away from civilization.
Fyodor must’ve become nocturnal from all the time he’d spent in the dark, because it was pitch-black in all directions when he finally parked the car and you stepped out.
And only then you finally asked him. “Fedya, where are we?”
He didn’t respond, instead going to the back of the car and opening the trunk, handing you your sleeping bag and a flashlight.
You flipped the switch on, trying to scan the surroundings for any hint of where this journey took you.
“Darling, you’re quite naïve,” Fyodor said as you looked down at rocks and twigs below your shoes. “I’m concerned about how easily you agreed to let someone drive you hours out into the wilderness.”
“I’d do it only for you,” you replied, giggling. “I trust you.” Alas, he had answered your question, though you still didn’t know what he was here for.
“Follow me. We have a bit of hiking to do.”


A secret hideout? Meeting spot? Something valuable hidden here? Your mind came up with countless reasons why your lover’s current mission took place on a mountain and how he could even navigate without a map. The entire thing was strange—you hadn’t even seen him take any valuables of some kind besides a tent and his own sleeping bag.
The walk-up was a bit tedious. Thankfully, you wore the right shoes and had eaten well beforehand, but you still didn’t expect you would be partaking in exercise so late at night. It was also hard to see, the flashlights scarcely making a difference.
You came across a very steep hill; it was almost like you had to climb rather than hike up.
“Apologies for the inconvenience,” you heard Fyodor from above as he went first to ensure each step was safe. “It’ll be worth it later.”
“Ah-” You hardly had time to ponder his statement when you misstepped on a loose twig, causing you to slip. However, a hand reached to tightly grab you before you slid down.
“Careful, milaya.”
Fyodor kept your hand clasped in his throughout the rest of the trek. You finally reached a large clearing by the edge of a cliff—devoid of trees and hard bedrock.
“We’re here.”
He began setting up the tent while you looked around. There was nothing at all out of the ordinary—nothing suspicious for the demon to use. Were you really here just to camp?
“The goal: your eyes to adjust.”
Fyodor had finished and had been looking at you for some time—smiling, at the way your brows furrowed and how you were still lost with this entire night.
“What-?” you asked as he walked over to take your sleeping bag. You followed him as he set it right next to his.
“Sit next to me, lyubov,” he said, guiding you down. “I’ll tell you the secret to getting directions up here.”
He tilted his head up, and for the first time, you noticed an entire galaxy before you.


Drenched under the vastness of the dark skies and lights of the stars, Fyodor began to speak.
“We’ve used star navigation for thousands of years,” he said. “Fifty-eight stars and thirty-eight constellations that we’re able to use, but you only need to locate the Ursa Major to find north and Orion to find west.”
You nodded. Perhaps this is what he had come here to do—find directions to something that no GPS or technology recorded. He had probably taken you along just because he thought you’d admire the view and how you did. Fyodor was right—the walk-up was worth this view.
It was like you were in a trance. You had seen stars, but nothing like this before. The entire Milky Way galaxy was visible to your eyes, countless little suns that seemed barely out of your grasp, even though they were millions of miles away.
“Fedya, how many of them do you recognize by name?”
“By now, I have them all memorized because I’ve found it helpful. If an apocalypse surged the earth, they would still be there. If the world ended, they would still be there. The cosmos remain untouched by us—they watch humanity dance from afar. The nomads knew this the best—when we traveled, we relied on nothing but nature.”
You wondered how many body transfers it took for him to retain them all. There were so many little lights in the sky, it seemed near impossible to be able to gather even half in a mind’s jar. You guessed tens of years at the least, and even with that time, you knew only he could do it.
“You commend them too, don’t you?” you spoke, taking a risk in guessing his views.
“Elaborate for me.” You made eye contact with him, and amethyst eyes fawned over by the night almost enticed you even more than the entire view of the universe afore you.
“You appreciate them, and everything else that lays on the earth after the sun sets because they hold no flaw. They aren’t blemished by the foolishness of people.
“You can be at peace with them because they are perfect, unlike us.”
“You’re right. The perfect mankind would be as pure as the sun and the stars—untainted by something as unnatural as abilities. That’s how I see it, but why group yourself in such faults?”
“Hm?” was the only sound you were able to get out, when he grazed his fingers along your face, cupping your cheek.
“Printsessa, you are perfect.” He spoke smoothly, rich accent making his words sound like a lullaby.
“Your soul dances with the kosmos. Something so divine—you are the harmony of something as beautiful as what we see tonight.
“You are the only one who matches the heavens; my love, you surpass the heavens.”
He captured your lips in a kiss, and you only registered then that it was you two alone. It felt like you two were the only ones in the world with the witnesses to your love being the ends of the horizons, and that the universe who put on a show in the sky instead turned to watch you.


“Fedya
what was the mission?” you asked softly as you cuddled with him, your hands reaching for his silky hair as you lay on his chest.
You felt his smile. “You’re still so naïve, darling; you didn’t have to think so much. The mission was to bring you here. It’s been a while since we’ve gone out, has it not?”
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SIGMA : i’ve never seen it before! (the aurora borealis) — he learns what love is through you.
“Sigma, baby, let’s go!”
The man had a slightly puzzled face as he let you eagerly lead him outside, past your home’s backyard—into the hills beyond. Other than the Sky Casino, it was your favorite spot, especially when you wanted some peace away from the rest of humanity and its industry.
Your lover was utterly confused why you made sure he did not fall asleep this evening. He always went to bed far earlier than you and rose while you were still lost in dream—perhaps snoring—but tonight you insisted.
And Sigma followed, even though he was at the verge of passing out from exhaustion—managing a casino was hard. He let you take his hand and direct him, even without a clue of where you were going.
Maybe that was what love was—blindly following another.
“I have a surprise.” You slightly turned your head back to look at him, and he swore he would remember this scene forever. His hand still clasped around yours, the warm glow of the back porch’s bistro lights cast upon your face, and your sweet smile—though it was dark outside, he felt that your smile lit up his world more than all the stars combined in the night sky.
The cosmos were a new thing for him. You had introduced watching the stars to him, in this special place beyond your backyard.
Immediately after his first time learning what the Big Dipper was, and that the little lights in the sky were actually much farther than they seemed, he called for a viewing deck to be created for the Sky Casino.
That way, even on nights away from you and home, he could still gaze at the same stars, and for you as well if you wanted to visit.
“Are we stargazing?” Sigma asked as you ran up one of the hills with him. He held a chuckle to himself. You didn’t bother to change out of your pajamas. You were so cute.
“It’s a little different this time,” you giggled, setting down a blanket for the two of you to sit. Before, you would bring foldable chairs, but you realized that they made it a bit difficult for you to cling onto Sigma when you wanted to cuddle with him.
“We should start to see it in just a few minutes,” you said, looking up.
“Okay
”
The stars were there as usual. Sigma had never thought that something as pretty as your heart could exist in something physical, but that was how he saw those small lights in the sky.
If only you knew that whenever you decided to talk about how beautiful the skies were at night, he wanted to say they were literally just a reflection of you.
As soon as the clock on your watch hit the next hour, you immediately grabbed Sigma’s arm in enthusiasm.
Now he was really starting to wonder what got you so jumpy.
“Hey! Do you see it?!”
Sigma caught himself so distracted by you that he was watching your face instead of where your eyes were looking at.
He blushed when you looked at him, but thankfully you remained oblivious to his embarrassment.
“The green light! Do you see it?”
Sigma looked up, and he saw what looked like sliver of green contrast the dusky sky.
“That’s natural,” you began to explain. “It works through the earth’s magnetic field colliding with the atmosphere.
“Watch how it dances.”
A show started to unfold before the two of you. Sigma watched as the small touch of light became even brighter, transforming into a ribbon. He watched as the ribbon began to travel across the sky, overtaking the darkness. He watched in awe as it was joined by another green stream, traversing the horizons together.
“Wow,” you both said in awe.
“It’s called the aurora borealis,” you spoke.
“You can see it regularly if you travel way up north, but it’s a rare event here.
“I wanted to experience it with you.”
Sigma turned to look back at you, butterflies in his tummy and a surge of warmth overflowing his heart when he met your face—cheeks glowing from the reflection of the chasma and your eyes full of adoration.
“With me?” Sigma asked.
“Of course,” you replied, pulling him up. “Look Sigma—a new color joined.”
He glanced up, seeing that a new hue had appeared, aligning itself with the green. A pinkish light had mixed itself in, creating a swirl of paints on the sky’s pallete.
It really seemed like the lights were dancing. And Sigma thought to himself—like me and her.
You seemed to have the same idea because you had taken his hands in yours and started to whirl him around. It was messy—a bit chaotic, but he let himself be dragged along for a bit until he got dizzy, because maybe love was blindly following someone.
Eventually, Sigma started laughing, and couldn’t be thrown around any longer. “Calm down, love!” He took control of the dance, guiding your steps so that it turned into a more organized waltz.
He became captivated when he twirled you around—even though you were in your pajamas, you couldn’t look any less beautiful. He had danced with you in ballrooms, in gardens, but this unrehearsed night was the most enchanting of all.


You two danced until your feet started to hurt and Sigma’s exhaustion finally got the best of him. Now, you lay together, watching the rest of the night’s act play out.
“Whenever I look at the nebulas, I only think of you now, you know,” you confessed. “Because even if you’re up there, and I’m down on earth, we’re still looking at the same stars together.”
“I think the same,” Sigma replied. “It’s like we’re always connected in some way.”
You nodded with a smile, but you realized Sigma wasn’t finished yet.
“Actually, it’s more than that. I can only think of you when I see those things because all beauty leads back to you. I see your kindness in the sun and your energy in these colorful lights. I see your perseverance in the moon and most importantly, how many hearts you’ve made shine in the stars.
“And whatever ends up the brightest at night is mine, because you’ve warmed my heart the most.”
Your own heart was beating fast, by how your lover had spoken so tenderly to you and by the way he had rolled over towards you so that he was so close now—his lips just shy of yours.
“Sigma,” you whispered, and then you pulled him into a kiss.
It was then he finally understood: love wasn’t about blindly following another, he followed you because you were a blessing of trust, carrying the stars of devotion on your hands.
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i heard if you rb, u’ll be able to watch the stars w/ ur fav tn !! reblogs are cherished; they are what support me the most. <3
this fic wouldn’t have ever seen the light, weren’t for @cheriiyaya (hi); thank u bby for encouraging me start to finish. <3 a lil prompt inspo for dazai & fyodor from her. ^_^
p.s. did i imply a past!love triangle in dazai’s scenario? yes. was i referring to the fyozai ‘til death we do art love triangle? maybe..! actually, for some rzn, i included many things here that foreshadow other fics coming soon. stay tuned :)
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© AUREATCHI 2024. no reposts or translations. do not steal. support banner by cafekitsune.
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solitairedeere · 6 months ago
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i was never as optimistic about the ending of bnha as some villain stans were, but i never thought it'd end so badly it left me wondering why horikoshi ever bothered to humanize the villains or make them complex characters at all.
like-- i expected that at least 1-2 of the 3 villains who were heavily foreshadowed and outlined by the narrative as people to be saved would be, you know, actually saved. i didn't think that was a high bar. i've been let down before in fandoms where everyone was certain a character would live and then they didn't, so i tried to keep my hopes low. AND YET.
what happened to tomura was upsetting, but i wasn't that shocked after how disinterested the manga has seemed to be in him for like, the past 100 or so chapters. a bit surprised, because you'd think if anyone would succeed in the 'saving' mission it would be the MC, but whatever. dabi, well, they've spent a lot of time showing the way his quirk destroys his body even before this arc, so that also sucked but at least it didn't feel completely out of left field.
........but they're not even letting toga live???
i just-- what have we even been doing here? when zero out of the 3 characters that were marked out for saving were actually saved, you have to acknowledge that something has gone seriously fucking wrong with the storytelling. not even just from the perspective of a villain fan but from the perspective of someone who likes stories to be thematically consistent or satisfying in any way.
you can set up an expectation of these characters being saved and then subvert that and turn it into a tragedy- if done well that could even be worthwhile and interesting. but you can't turn it into a tragedy and then just... keep trucking along with the happy ending messaging and act like anything in the manga has been resolved and that the characters have somehow successfully completed their heroic origin stories.
like, maybe i shouldn't have expected this much from a shounen- at the end of the day it is still a shounen so i didn't expect to feel that it truly satisfactorily wrapped up all the themes it brought up around societal ills. but i expected it to at least resolve those things in a shounen-y way where they punch the problems and help these specific people and then you can feel good assuming that the state of things will continue to improve in the post-canon world of the manga.
instead we got... uh, none of that. the story refused to answer a single one of the larger questions it's been outlining for the past 400+ chapters. in the end, it was all flash and no substance, which again could've been fine, if it weren't for the way the story seemed to spend significant chunks of time trying to delude you into thinking it had substance.
truly makes me wonder what horikoshi thought he was doing the entire time. can it really all be blamed on burnout? the most that can be said for this ending is that it is, well, an ending. fuck dude, it is that.
and that's just... such a sad way to end a project that took up 10 years of your life.
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monocub · 1 year ago
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seven years with luffy will do that to you
this was completely based on this panel from ch 1102 (dw there's no egghead spoilers in it):
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LOOK AT HOW PROUD HE IS OF HIS LITTLE BRO :(( I LOVE HIM :(((
like my man spat at him on day 1 and then bOOM he’s showing off his brother’s bounty to anybody with ears with the biggest smile on his face :((
anywaaaay ty oda this panel healed me despite the rest of the chapter destroying me
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vorestarr · 1 year ago
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ascended astarion and vampire spouses
so I've been reading the dnd 2e manual "Van Richten's Guide to Vampires" for fic/game inspiration, and there's this really interesting chapter on vampire brides and grooms. after reading it, it's very clear to me that Astarion didn't turn Tav into a typical spawn, but into a vampire spouse, which are two very different rituals with very different outcomes.
the typical vampire spawn creation process is exactly what Astarion describes happening to him: a painful death, a painful rebirth into undeath, fighting his way out of his own coffin, and Cazador's complete control over him. this is described pretty clearly in the guide to vampires:
According to most related tales, a vampire can create another simply by killing a mortal either with its life-energy draining power (draining all the character's experience leveIs) or by exhausting the mortal of his or her blood supply. If the victim's body is not properly destroyed, it arises as a vampire, under the control of the creature who killed it, on the second night following the burial. [...] Most vampires remember the instant of their death and the nature of their killer, and understand immediately their new nature. Certainly their new hunger gives them a good idea of what they have become. They must immediately free themselves from their grave. either by breaking it open from within or by assuming gaseous form and diffusing out.
so that's definitely what happened to Astarion, but that's not what happens to Tav. after ascended Astarion turns Tav into a vampire, they can ask him what happened, and he describes the following:
Astarion: You are so beautiful... And you will be beautiful forever. Thank you for trusting me. Player: What exactly happened? Astarion: You were drained dry, and at the height of your delirium, I granted you one drop of my own blood. Things will be a touch different for you than they were for me when I was a spawn. I'm imbibed with unfathomable new talents. I am fairly certain I can extend Mephistopheles' blessings unto you. Player: Does that mean I need not fear the sun? Astarion: You need not fear anything. You will be stronger, swifter, sharper, but you won't be different. You were already perfect before. It's hard to improve.
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for reference, this is how the guide to vampires describes the ritual for vampire spouses:
To actually create the bride, the vampire bestows what is known as the "Dark Kiss". lt samples the blood of its mortal paramour—once, twice, thrice—draining her almost to the point of death. This process causes the subject no pain; in fact, it has been described as the most euphoric, ecstatic experience, in comparison to which all ether pleasures fade into insignificance. Just as the subject is about to slip into the terminal coma from which there is no awakening, the vampire opens a gash in its own flesh—often in its throat—and holds the subject's mouth to the wound, As the burning draught that is the vampire’s blood gushes into the subject's mouth, the primitive feeding instinct is triggered, and she sucks hungrily at the wound, enraptured. With the first taste of the blood, the subject is possessed of great and frenzied strength (Str 18, if the character’s Str isn't already higher), and will use it to prevent the vampire from separating her from the fountain of wonder that is its bleeding wound. lt is at this point that the creator-vampire's strength is most sorely tested. He is weakened by his own blood loss, and also by his own rapture as the "victim" of a dark kiss. Overcoming the sudden loss of strength and the inclinations of lust, the vampire must pull her away from its own throat, hopefully without harming her, before she has overfed. Should the subject be allowed to feed for too long (more than 2 rounds), she is driven totally and incurably insane, and will die in agony within 24 hours. Once the subject has stopped feeding, she falls into a coma that lasts minutes or hours (2dl2 turns), at the end of which time she dies. Several (1 d3) hours later, she arises as a Fledgling vampire—and her creator's bride.
this to me sounds like what Astarion describes. he drains Tav almost dry, and at the very last moment, gives them a single drop of his blood. (also interesting reading this guide, the single drop avoids the problem of the vampire spouse being driven ravenous with hunger for the vampire creator's blood and attacking them. did Astarion know this and give them one drop on purpose to avoid that and Tav potentially being driven mad by it? or was he being selfish and this is just a nice but unanticipated outcome?)
i kept reading and there's a lot more interesting information about vampire spouses, but the most interesting thing I found related to the game was this:
Although there are some folk tales that describe the bride of a vampire as its slave, in much the same way that offspring are slaves, a bride is free-willed from the moment of her creation. The creator vampire does have great influence over the bride. however although this control is totally nonmagical. When a vampire is created in the traditional manner—that is, when a victim's life energy is completely drained away—the new fledgling instinctively understands much about the vampiric way of unlife, and about its own strengths, weaknesses* and needs. Not so the bride.
so basically, the vampire spouse is not tied to the vampire creator in the same way as a spawn (i.e., not able to be fully controlled) but is still extremely reliant on the vampire creator to teach them how to live as a vampire. the guide goes on to describe that some vampire creators may lie to their vampire spouse about the control or powers they have, in order to exert more control over them.
interestingly, if you ask Astarion if he can compel you the way Cazador compelled him, he doesn't give a straight answer, he just says this:
Player: Cazador could compel you - can you compel me? Astarion: Why would I need to? You're going to be wonderfully obedient.
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to me, all of this says that Astarion was telling the truth when he told Tav that they would be different from him as a spawn, and also in emphasizing that they are not a spawn but a consort. he didn't create a spawn, he created a vampire spouse. he married Tav, and because of this Tav also retains their free will.
of course, Astarion doesn't say this. if he knows, he withholds this information in much the way that this guide describes, as a way for the creator to maintain more control over their spouse. but still, extremely interesting implications for the ascended Astarion romance, imo.
other interesting facts about vampire spouses from the guide to vampires:
the married couple has telepathic communication that can span miles -- so Tav and Astarion can potentially have a telepathic bond even after the tadpoles are gone. (another note, this communication has to be consensual both ways for it to work, so you can't just dig around someone's mind if they don't want it.)
the vampire creator is extremely jealous and possessive. (yeah lol)
their life forces are linked, so one suffering a great deal is felt by the other.
the bond can be broken, but the ritual to do so has to be initiated by the creator. to break it, they both spill their blood on the ground and allow it to mix. this dissolves all aspects of the bond (i.e., telepathy and linked life forces), but the spouse stays a vampire.
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