#that blocked me from getting to class
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#off game#off the game#off zacharie#off mortis ghost#thedailyzachaire#week 5#day 31#no.5#off japhet#This was partly inspired by the major truck collision#that blocked me from getting to class#I was like omg remember that car from Inital D let’s make Zach drive it#I don’t know where this is either or why Japhet decided to join
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People who experience romantic and/or sexual attraction are so funny sometimes
They will ask "who's your crush?" And you will answer "i don't have one" and then it starts
"Why are you liying?", "you can trust me", "don't hide", "i don't belive you", "what?! Everyone has one come on", "hmhu it's [name] isn't it?".
in the extreme cases (mine once) they won't let you even leave the conversation and place it started
And so you lie
And when if "confession" comes from "name" and you reject it every single persson who made you lie will be angry.
Honey. Why the fuck are you angry? You decided a lie is more realistic than reality
#aroace#aromantic#asexual#have i ever told you guys the time i was in pre school and a gang of girls blocked me from getting out of the bathroom in school unless#i said a name of a random boy? no. yeah. and i didn't even knew what a fucking crush or even that i was aroace at the time. wild.#funniest thing was the mean girl try to flirt with said boy and confront me when i didn't even noticed. girl. i didn't even knew we had him#in class... literaly what are you trying to prove?
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a cat with homophobia in its eyes ❤
#jojos bizarre adventure#diamond is unbreakable#jjba#jjba fanart#josuke higashikata#okuyasu nijimura#josuyasu#stray cat#josuke and stray cat HATE each other!!!!#i think that would be funny#it starts hissing every time it sees josuke#okuyasu is like josuke look at my lovely adorable precious angel. my son#and josuke is like get that Thing away from me or So Help Me#i had my final class today WE'RE BACK BABEY!!!#i feel so free i got home + was immediately able to draw after being sooo art blocked
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attendance policies are ableist and classist. doesn't matter where it's at
#.bdo#i say classist too bc there were times i wasn't able to get somewhere because my car broke down#and I couldn't afford to fix it yet#and then my chronic pain would keep me from being able to walk to the bus stop that was a couple of blocks away#so since we have to pay for transportation it is just as much of a class issue as it is a disability issue
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people always say "this website's hate mail game is insane" but I can't even remember the last time I received a hate anon that didn't just make me roll my eyes. it's like... so mid. sometimes it's so boring I forget I'm supposed to block. and look, I'll admit this is almost frustrating because if you're going to develop some kind of hateful obsession with me that's cool and gets me going a bit, but I'd like it if you actually paid attention to who I am as a person (it's like you don't even care about my major and obvious insecurities), or at least otherwise showed some kind of conviction and passion.... none of you are suitable kismesis partners for me and it makes me sad. you are all anxiety-ridden & reactionary cowards who, rather than forming a useful political identity, search tumblr for your favorite discourse keyword of the month so you can (fail to) posture yourself as effortless bullies because it makes you feel better about your own shit lives and it's so transparent that it could never work on anyone with even 1% less insecurities as you have. it's sad! :-(!
#yes I received yet another anon today accusing me of hating men. hm. yes I do openly criticize men as a class + the patriarchy on this blog.#it's not an insult ... it's just correct. it's how I am on purpose. :/#+ they lied about blocking me (u can't read anons from people who blocked you after sending them) sooo like. come on man.#while I'm on this topic my favorite hate anons to get are the ones that want to misgender me#but don't pay enough attention to even guess what gender I was assigned#so they're like ''you'll always be female unless ur a male then you'll always be male'' or vice versa. it's lame please have some confidenc
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Forgive me, forgive me. I ask, I beg, I pray, but it never comes.
You know I find it incredibly bewildering to see just how much kalki reflects myself in him like YEAH Duh of course he does, he’s my little guy it’s like his full time job. But at the same time he is a fully functional facet of my being and he is at the mercy of my whimsies, and whatever he discovers in his arduous journey of self realisation is ultimately a reflection of what I discover in the real world. It’s also incredibly funny because ffxiv lore for dark knights is really baked into the idea of (re)discovering yourself amongst the bloodshed and continuing to live and love and thrive despite the world working against us. who would have thought such a raw message could come from an mmorpg side quest about edgy emo boys of all places
also adamantite armour of fending i would lay down my LIFE for u
variant + phone bg version + ID below the cut
tch as if you guys are actually going to use artwork of my little guy as your phone background. i know. how dumb. let a girl dream. i should make an alternate version but it's of Fray and Myste
[START ID: A picture with a red background focusing on the character's bust that is placed to the left of the image's centre. He is coloured with a dark blue overlay, contrasting with the red background. He has brown skin, long black hair that falls over his shoulders, and is wearing blue and gold armour and earrings. He is looking at the viewer, right eye dark brown and the left an glowing unnatural red, with an expression that looks determined and angry and yet bitter and forlorn. In the foreground and on the right side of the piece, a miniature version of the character stands coloured in a light blue overlay and wearing the same blue and gold armour, looking as if he is glowing. He is facing towards the left of the piece, or perhaps at the character bust, his expression unreadable. Above the miniature character's head is the symbol representing the FFXIV dark knight, coloured in gold. END ID.]
#the burst of creativity that shot through me is indescribable. i can only hope this is a sign that i am FINALLY out of art block#but OF COURSE my creativity comes back right when gamsat is around the corner. it's always a fucking exam. i fucking hate myself#maybe this piece is supposed to be vent art at how I CANNOT MANAGE MY SHIT AND I AM JUST. NOT DOING THINGS RIGHT. NOT DOING THINGS RIGHT !!#and i tell myself it's fine but maybe it's NOT fine? i told myself i'd work on it but nothing is getting worked on#nothing productive at all. not even for uni nor for myself. nothing is happening at all. it's just going through the days#waking up. wishing i'd slept more. stare at my laptop for hours. youtube. watch 10mins of lectures. then a nap. then the laptop. then sleep#but i dont and it pisses me off because nothing is working. i'm like if linguini lost his rat and i'm staring at the kitchen catching fire#maybe go to class if it's on for that day. scrambling notes together. pretending i DO have my shit together#i COULD put out the fire. but i'm not. i could and i can but im not. the extinguisher is in my hand. fire's not going out. i'm still here.#maybe. maybe that's why drk resonates with me so much. at the end of the day. maybe i am just a stupid bastard#-who can't get their act together. who actively shoots themselves in the foot and bleeds all over the place trying to make something happen#only this time- this time the perpetrator isn't someone i can point at and demand answers from. it's me hi i'm the problem it's me#and i can- i SHOULD find a way to make this all work. to make this whole Living My Life business work. but the extinguisher's in my hand#wow okay that was really heavy anyway uhhhhh TAGS TAGS TAGS TAGSSSSS#ffxiv#ff14#ffxivwol#ffxiv wol kalki#ffxiv dark knight#artoftheagni#and the fire keeps going#tw eyestrain#cw bright colors#idk the red is really bright and it;s nice for my eyes but idk for anyone else
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re-reading Mal’s Spellbook


Evie should be meaner, actually??? But also, a) Jay has totally fine handwriting in the spellbook, the font they chose for his writing is way more legible than the one they chose for Mal, and b) is this what the kids are mean about these days???
#me writing a silly little fic where Jay has genuinely awful handwriting due to like. undiagnosed dyslexia.#which is important for his school character arc because he genuinely believes that he’s bad at school#and also relies almost completely on his verbal memory of whatever they went over in class#he can debate just fine!! His logic is sound#he’s just#really slow at reading and his handwriting is genuinely atrocious#he dictates essays to the school laptop they ‘stole’ from the library#the others read assignments out loud for their shared classes#and like. He’s not stupid. He can cover for it. But the thing about being in school full time and covering for a learning disability#is that it’s exhausting and unsustainable#and going to lead to a breakdown eventually#even if that’s just failing a test#and being found out#anyway if anybody is still reading my older fic this is why Jay’s in the offset testing blocks in my ongoing cinderellaverse#he gets extra time on tests because of the dyslexia#he probably also uses a red filter over the page when he reads because that’s the breakthrough that helped my irl dyslexic sister#anyway someday I’ll actually write all of my school thoughts into a real fic
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losing my fucking mind
#they are repaving every street that i can take to and from my house#all at once#and they've been making it living hell for anyone on my street to go anywhere#and just now i was coming back home after class and they just didn't let me turn to go to my house#no signs anywhere saying i should have turned earlier#not indication#i just get to the intersection and there's cones blocking it off and people yelling at me for trying to turn#and now my makeup is ruined because i just sobbed to my mom on the phone in a mcdonald's parking lot because i didn't trust myself to drive#guess it's too much to ask that i be allowed to go to my own home at 2 o'clock on a tuesday#personal#vent#rant
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Iron Crow and Laser Weapons
I'm just straight up going to be out here making up the schematics and blueprints of the Iron Crow planes for this chapter, so I can extrapolate later, huh?
I know nothing about planes, but here I am reading manuals and blueprints since these planes will probably feature heavily throughout The Rod That Blocks the Lightning. After all, a good portion of the plot of S2 was Geumseagi trying to find out what they were, and how they could be used against Flower Hill.
Especially since laser based weapons are apparently in development already? Like the HELIOS 60-plus-K-Class laser used by the USS Preble, used to blind optics and supposedly can destroy small targets.

I think it is a similar version of the AN/SEQ-3 Laser Weapon System or XN-1 LaWS already in use by the US Navy to take down small targets.
(USS Ponce). Tumblr won't let me upload the video I have of it in action.
So, obviously, I now have to research these far more in depth, in order to figure out how the Iron Crows can take out entire tank units like they do.
Actually, the beam is comparable to what we have now, it just seems to have a wider effect. I could see the Wolf Unit coming up with something like this, since they are supposed to be based on the US from what I understand, and these types of lasers have been researched since the 1930s. So why does Dr. Huinjogjebi have this type of technology in S1, if not for espionage and such? There must be a reason why the Wolf Unit hates the Weasel Unit.
The shape of the lasers is comparable to real life. I can see how the weight is distributed for the most part, so the shape of the plane should be sound.
Although, they mostly seem to need something much more larger, like one of those large Navy Boats, to provide a stable base and energy support. The ships they are attached to don't seem to be using nuclear energy or anything like that. In fact, it appears to be good for ground attacks and boats anyway, since it can burn through aircraft wiring surprisingly easily.
Anyway, things to get you on an FBI watch-list part 8.
#gives me the Seto Kaiba Blue Eyes White Dragon Jet vibes#I suppose maybe the shape is so they actually look like birds from afar#since it seems the wolves are the ones with radar technology to tell the difference#squirrel and hedgehog#this is a real thing!#that sure is interesting#sah#SaH#but what is up with the tanks?#how did they get that footage who was attacked?#now to hunt for more schematics and blueprints#The Rod That Blocks the Lightning#lasers#us navy#USS Ponce#USS Preble#Dr. Huinjogjebi#AN/SEQ-3 Laser Weapon System#HELIOS 60-plus-K-Class#any navy or weapons people out there want to discuss this?#navy#iron crow#LaWs
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It’s always so funny to me when someone can’t tell the difference between an actor who’s over the top and an actor who is doing an intentionally over the top performance. The former can be super aggravating, I get it—but the latter can be so goddamn effective. Especially when you know the actor already, know they’re fully capable of giving normal human facial expressions and chill line deliveries. And they’re out here doing The Absolute Most all of a sudden? It’s for a reason, dude. It’s almost always for a reason. And once you can see past the camp on the surface, it’s so much fun digging in to what emotions the character is actually hiding.
#this is mainly about servant (and to a lesser degree YJ)#like Ambrose in servant is (pardon me) serving SUCH a chaotic performance#but having known her for decades I know full well that’s on purpose#Dorothy is over the top because she HAS to be. because she’s built walls so high around her own grief that the denial comes out in Crazy#and she fully thinks she’s the only one paying attention. the only sane one in the room.#you get glimpses of her being ‘normal’ in flashbacks#still a little Much. still a product of wealth and expectation. detached from reality to a degree.#but the character she becomes after the tragedy is. A Character.#it’s not the woman she was before. she bricked that woman up. she’s taken her performance from television and made a baby blanket out of it#it’s so. so intentional.#and you sort of get a similar thing going with Hewson in early eps of YJ#totally different starting block. Van doesn’t start out traumatized. but she does start out Big#she’s loud she’s silly she’s being intentionally wacky to get laughs out of people#and some of it comes off a little cringe. because it’s a kid playing a role#this is how you like me. I’m gay. I’m butch. I’m hiding.#if I’m a jester you’ll see what I want you to and nothing more. that’s the plan. it’s working. don’t look at the goalie.#not as a person.#but as the show goes on (or as she’s spending time with taissa) she slows down some. quiets. she’s snarkier. holding tension differently.#Hewson starts the performance at an 11 so they can really delve into who Van becomes when the mask is off#when there’s no point in playing the class clown#when it’s like. ah yeah. here’s the kid who grew up too fast.#here’s the kid who’s scared to death. and angry. and willing to fight to live.#it’s not an overacting thing. it’s VAN overacting to keep her secrets#watch the face so you miss what the hands are doing#actors man. actors are fucking cool. storytelling is fucking cool.#deconstructing the illusion is my favorite thing#(anyway still watching servant and it’s still really. Something Else.)
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tfw i realize that i’m like. actually going to university in five months???
#i’ve technically been a college student for the past year and a half but this is like. realer to me#probably bc i’m actually leaving and living on campus instead of having class a block down from the high school i also go to#like don’t get me wrong i’m super excited and everything but like. holy shit dude#idk. it’s a weird feeling#but also. i do have to graduate first lmao#reese’s pieces
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i dont wanna decide on a career unfortunately everyone wants me to soso bad
#i have to have it in. checks watch. 6 months maximum :)#just because i want biomedical something its what im good at and i cant not help people#like thats not some hero complex thing if o dont get motivated by helping people i will be a danger to myself within a couple months#but guys i am fucking ASS at coding. im goated at block coding i always make it past that#but my neocities wont work even tho im basically copy and pasting from html tutorials#i walk into the room and the machine makes it clear that it does NOT fuck with me#maybe i want biomedical research or something thats a little less hands on#or maybe an occupational therapy direction because i learn a lot about disabilities in my free time#or one of the cna or ekg practicum classes i can take through the local college#OR i can pay minimum a couple thousand for coding classes and brute force it#or stay biomedical engineering and focus on improving the mechanical aspects of existing biomed devices without personally coding as much#or veer way off course for something in sustainability#im literally just gonna end up teaching ap bio somewhere lmfao. why are we stressing#< NO hate to ap bio teachers i fuck with you#but i see that shit in my future Vividly#(or i could plan curriculums for teaching biology and standardize methods for courses such as pltw in the real setting ETC ETC ETC)
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got back from the most emotionally exhausting thanksgiving break of my life this morning n realized i have two papers due in the next two weeks - three if you count the late one i need to edit, format, and submit - as well as an oral exam, and then the week after that my poetry portfolio for the semester is due and the day after that i have my final written exam and then three to four days after that i drive back home (to my parents and their failing marriage) with a friend and then five days after that is christmas and four days after that i get top surgery and a week after that i have my post-op appointment and not two weeks after that i come back up to school to start my spring semester! and through all of this i have to like. eat meals and budget and exist in the presence of other people.
#also ! found out AT THANKSGIVING DINNER from my grandma that my grandpa has dementia !#so . it is going !#badly!#but!!!! i have poems to write for class !!!!!!!!#and then an essay to work on!#so i am tabling all of my stress and grief and exhaustion and overwhelm to do that studying! and i will continue to do so until i go home!#at which point i will be cohabitating with the primary source of my grief and exhaustion!#and also getting a MAJOR SURGERY#and the last time i got a major surgery my dad texted me in between bombarding my mother with texts and phone calls#to tell me that he was deleting and blocking her contact !#and then like The Week After That he was gonna walk out for a night .#so i am not counting on an easy recovery :)#BUT ANY . WAYS .#time to go write some poems .#speak
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I, like many people, have recurring dreams that for some reason I am back in high school (I am 24) except instead of worrying about homework or tests or something, my dream is always that I need to go home at a weird time and so I can't ride the school bus home so I'm stuck
#in reality in these situations i'd wait until my dad could get off work and pick me up#which is probably why most of my dreams are that im in college but need to take one high school class and hace to go home at like 10 am#so i wouldnt want to wait until 4pm#but if i knew i only had to be at school for a couple hours and that my parents couldnt pick me up id probably coordinate with them#so that i could take a car and drive to and from school#what i usually end up doing in my dream is being like 'okay ill walk for an hour on sidewalkless roads its fine 😭'#sometimes i remember my town does have a public bus but it only takes me like 2 blocks in the rifht direction#okay i looked this up theres a bus that comes every half hour#and wpuld reduce over 2 hours of walking to 45 minutes of walking which is actually much better than i expected#personal posts
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i havent been able to sit down and get a ton of work done on my comic for like a week now because my class projects require so much fucking time but its so sad to me cus i WANNA do a ton of work on my comic. like on thesdays and thursdays i have gbk and then art 375 and those are back to back with the same prof who loves me and she lets me sit there and draw my comic literally right next to her when i should be participating in discussion, but i cant even do that this week cus i have to do my disputation on don quixote in 10 mins (read an essay in front of the class that i had 1.5 days to write cus of the order of our schedule) so last class i spent the whole time taking notes and outlining the essay. and then in art 375 im not in the zone like i would be if i drew during gbk so i dont get as much done
GRAAAGGGH I JUST WANNA DRAW MY COMIC AND GET THE FIRST 10 PAGES COMPLETELY DONE SO I CAN BULK POST THE FIRST 5 THEN HAVE 5 PAGES READY TO QUEUE
#grem rambles#I JUST WANNA DRAAWWWW NOT WRITE ESSAYYYY#this isnt even mentioning my mw classes which is a 5 hour block from 12-5 where im actuvely doing my projects#and art 117 is abt to make me kill a bitch i hate the way the prof handles it#gra 410 is rly fun tho. the profs like a mom to me. she lets me leave whenever to get lunch since its such a hellish block#i have 3/10 pages done almost done with a fourth#surely. surely i can get work done today seeing how i just have to read my essay then i dont do shit for the rest of class
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😍😍😍
#accidentally slept through my only class today#which whoops sorry. (my 9am english)#which kind of killed step 1 of a plan of mine but thats okay#anyways THEN i had to go downtown to pick up this award bc i forgot to show up to the ceremony like a dumb dumb#but the building was like a 25 minute walk and it was COLD (punishment for my dumb dumbness tbh) but anyways i got there early so i walked#around the block and then went inside and picked up my medal#and i was already far downtown so then i popped my head in a couple of stores as i slowly walked back#got a few things from target. new hair clip nail polish m&ms pens and then a mango. very excited to eat that either later today or tomorrow#then i popped in the calligraphy store and then the comic shop and looked around. saw some white ribbon in the calligraphy store which ive#been looking for but didnt get it because it was a bit wide and kind of expensive and i want a lot for my project idea#(want to write out some of my favorite poems on them in sharpie and then use it to accessorize)#and then i went to the comic shop and peeked around. saw a nubia issue and a few gl 2021s in the discount bin but i didnt get them bc#they were all middle issues and i havent read those books yet although i do want to someday bc my guys were in them. one of the gl 21s even#had simon on the cover so i was very !!!!!!!! thats my guy!!!!!#didnt buy anything there but i did ask the guy to make sure to order a copy of the spirit world tpb so ill stop by to get that in a few wks#and then i went to the bookstore cafe and got a cold brew and did a but of English there. they have tables in the stacks its nice. the one i#grabbed was just surrounded by old paperbacks of sci fi and thrillers lol. didnt see anything id read but recognized a few author names like#card (no enders game though) and the pern lady (idk her name i havent read it). anyways did half a blog post thats technically late (ill#backdate though dw) and then packed up and i grabbed a gyro from the halal cart on that block which i just finished back at my dorm <3333#anyways good times. now im gonna try and spam some work and go to freaking trivia team for the first time in a month later. oops#blah#oh and i think the halal cart guy may have given me a free soda. unsure abt that though bc its possible it came with and i was just being#silly again. so anyways i had a ginger ale too
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