#that big one looks like Hee Hoo

[shiftythrifting]

I took these out of storage recently to display on my shelf! I found them in one bag in Goodwill once yeeeaaars ago. (Except the big green one, that's Frank. My mom found him on Facebook) I've always called them my Jester babies.

[hegoeshardasfuck]

you let me complicate you

wordcount: 1K

tags: oral sex, praise, he/him lesbian chilchuck beloved, binding, thighs, check Ao3 for full tags

synopsis: even the most professional succumb to the lure of sex, the isolation of the dungeon only makes it harder to deny for a woman like Chilchuck

authors note: hee hoo butch lesbians, if ya enjoy consider checkin' the Ao3 port

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56102938

"You're getting better at this," He abruptly praised one night with you between his legs, fingers knotted in your hair as you ate him out. Red rises to his face when he realizes what he's done, before you can look at him dumbfounded he's tightening his grip.

Your fingers claw into his outer thighs, his ankles crossed between your shoulder blades. Praise from Chilchuck, you savour the flavour because you know that it'll never come from him again. He's too cold for that, too professional, and yet his heels knock against your back as you glide your fang over his clit. One hand is in your hair the other is covering his mouth because you're still in the dungeon.

Can't be too loud, it'd be a massive fucking mess if he was loud enough to attract any monsters. It'd be a whole other kind of mess if they found out that Chilchuck's been playing the role of a guy for so long. You're the exception to the facade, the only exception because you're just like him. Bandages wrapped tight around your chest and ailed every two weeks with agony but playing a role with intensive skill.

He shudders as you claw up his thigh to his hip and his ass. A full body tremor coursing through him paired with a light and breathy moan that you live for in the dungeon. His nails dig into your scalp and the pressure between your shoulder blades increase as you lap eagerly at him.

He bites down on the leather of the glove as orgasm rocks him, thighs bearing down as he tries to hold a calm expression. He unravels under your simple actions and when he unhitches his ankles you rear back, gasping just a bit. You wipe away the excess with the back of your hand and go to smudge it off onto your blanket, but he stops you.

"Don't," He falters which is new, new and exciting and enticing, "Lick it off."

You quirk a brow.

"Or don't," He rolls his eyes only to go rigid when you drag your tongue across the back of your hand. That might be a bit hotter than he accounted for, just a bit.

He stares as you clean your hand of every single drop. Eyes locked to the smug look on your face and the tongue that unwound him like it was no big deal not even five minutes go. The casualness of it all makes him shudder, eat him out and use that same tongue to clean up the mess, and those same hands to slaughter monsters the next day.

Your hands lay down atop his thighs, drumming your fingers rhythmically. You slowly trace down the curve to the inner thigh and glide up, swiping excess with your thumbs swiftly. He yips as you brush nearly overstimulated skin with the back of your thumbnail. You spread him open with your two thumbs, fingers resting just below his abdomen.

"What are you planning?" It's a threat, but it's open ended enough that you don't see the harm. What's he gonna do about it anyways? Kill you? He's too small to do that effectively, even though you're not much larger despite being human.

"Clean up," You murmur, words quiet enough that you doubt even the rats could hear. But when you glance up at him he has this flabbergasted look on his face, ears bright red. You smirk a bit before raising your thumbs and ducking your head to lap at his innermost thigh.

Sharp inhales and staggering panting filter past parted lips with one hand propping up his thigh and tongue gliding between labia and leg. He doesn't dare tangle up your hair again because this isn't for pleasure, at least he tells himself that it isn't for pleasure, that this is to clean up. He's having a hard time with it.

Your nails dig into his hip as you transfer to the other side and his hand rests heavy on your shoulder, gripping tight. He's biting his tongue and he swears it's gonna start bleeding if you keep fucking teasing instead of just calling it a night. You don't stop, you lay on harder. Sliding a thumb to his cunt and pressing down just hard enough to phantom penetration but not quite, he can only whimper. He shakes as you nip at his thigh, he gives a choked out moan as he throws back his head.

You retract your thumb and press your tongue flat, the sound he gives borders on an exhale and a moan. His muscles relax under your grip as you slowly, oh so very slowly, drink up the excess like it's wine. You don't mean to grip his hip as tightly as you do, or his ass, it just happens. You don't let go until he actively swats away your hands and yanks up your head by the hair.

You're grinning. This dumb, exhausted look on your face as you lick your lips. You slowly retract yourself from between his lap and he reaches out to your chest. Flat, constricted, sensitive- you squirm as he presses at the gauze and slides a finger between the layering folds.

"Payback," Chilchuck laughs lightly as he speaks, reaching for the safety pin but instead opting to just slide his fingers past the top of it. They dip between tightly wound bandages and skin without abandon, you go rigid.

"Chilchuck, don't," You try to keep it a threat but he just smirks instead.

He slowly slides down a different layer, the pressure sparking euphoria across your entire body. He leans in closer, "Make me."

You lean back, knees bent over each other and spreading as Chilchuck slots himself between them. Your eyes are squeezed shut as he rolls one hand down your side to press down next to your ribs and under the gauze.

"You're gonna be a good girl and sit tight for me while I repay you," Chilchuck explained, voice firm and unwavering. It's a demand and an offer wrapped into one, an equal exchange because he's a business woman if nothing else.

You nod slowly, "Got it, ma'am."

His fingers twitch as you call him ma'am instead of sir.

[paradoxbeta]

was looks to the moon born with the tooth gap or did she get that from somewhere and just kept it

that is a really good question actually because

id never thought about that before, i just went "hee hoo toof gap pretty" one day while drawing her and never gave it a second thought. i think she was just created that way because she has it in all of the pre-collapse artwork i have of her. that or she got it via fidgeting by putting her tongue between her front teeth because i used to do that when i was bored and i know that doing that enough times can move things around. but that would imply the iterators (from moons time at least) have fleshy/manipulatable gums which wouldnt be a very sensical design choice because all that really does is invite the possibility of teeth becoming crooked or coming loose. ((to be fair, i do already have a handful of other crooked-teeth iterators: srs's snaggletooth comes to mind first but my early sliver of straw design also had brace-like metal over her teeth, and im toying with the look of misaligned or broken teeth for some iterator ocs.)) but then if lttm wasn't able to do it herself, then i would have find a reason why the ancients would have made her this way when iterator puppets are designed to be palatable and straight teeth tends to be the most safe/neutral choice. so my closest guess is that either the alignment of teeth isn't as big a deal in ancient culture (which would make sense, im sure body modification extends to doing funky dental stuff) and/or she was made with a tooth gap for the same reason i made her with a tooth gap: because it looks nice and makes her feel more like a person and less like a flawless corporate computer interface, which is easier to talk to. however even though it should not be possible i really like the idea of lttms tooth gap being something she somehow did herself because it kind of gives it personality. auuugh *enters the torture nexus*

[tyrantisterror]

Can you elaborate on clowns in your Midgaheim setting-what they are, their powers and how normal humans feel about them?

You've said that they are Cambions, so a type of hybrid between a human and a demon, so are there multiple cambion breeds including vampires?

To answer the last question first: there are countless variations on cambions, but most are one-offs - unique individuals resulting from intercourse between a demon in its true form and a human being. Each demon gives distinct traits to their offspring, and the result is a highly varied class of monster.

Most of the varieties of cambions that are numerous enough to be given a subcategory to themselves are created by a different method - vampires are a result of humans mating with a demon that has created a human body for itself, werewolves and other therianthropes from a human mating with a demon that's created an animal body for itself, doppelgangers from a human mating with a demon possessing a living human body, doppelsaugers from a human mating with a demon possessing a corpse, etc.

And then there's clowns.

Clowns all owe their existence to one specific demon - Alichino, Marquise of the Malebranche, subordinate of Abaddon the Prince of Wrath warrior from the Malebolge. The exact method she used to make clowns is a mystery to all but herself and the mortals she's "blessed." What is known is that there are four varieties of clown, each supposedly blessed by a different part of Alichino: Harlequins, the red clowns, blessed by Alichino's red horns; Pierrots, the white clowns, blessed by Alichino's white hands; Buffoons, the blue clowns, blessed by Alichino's blue wings; and Mimes, the black clowns, blessed by Alichino's black tongue.

All clowns share certain traits in common. First, their skin is chalk white with stripes, spots, and other patches of bright colors mixed in - often with big spots on their cheeks. Their noses tend to be bulbous and have a brightly colored tip (generally but not always red). Their hair is rarely a natural human color, and even when it is it's an unusually bright shade (vibrant cherry red, shimmering blue-black, cotton candy pink, etc.). Their teeth are sharp and triangular, like a shark's, and their fingers and/or feet will end in large, flattened tips with sticky pads like the feet of a gecko or a frog. Their eyes will be unusual too - some will have jet black eyes like those of a shark, others will have non-white sclera, and some (generally first generation clowns) will have multiple rings of color between the iris and the sclera, giving their eyes a very psychedelic look.

True to their titles, the four different varieties of clown will favor one color over others - harlequins tend to have more red hues, pierrots are paler, buffoons favor blue and other cool colors, and mimes have prominent black stripes and spots. Harlequins are most likely to have horns out of all the clowns, and even when they don't, their hair often sticks up in distinct spikes. Buffoons tend to be more heavily built, Pierrots tend to be lanky and thin, and mimes are generally the least-human looking. Speech impediments are common among clowns - some are born mute (particularly common in mimes), and others can only speak in laughter onomatopoeia - i.e. "Ha ha ha, hee hee hee, hoo hoo? Ha ha hee hee heh heh heh ha!"

Clowns are essentially gifted with cartoon slapstick physics - while they can be hurt as easily as anyone else, inflicting mortal wounds on them is exceptionally difficult. Light a clown on fire, and it will flail around comically before the flames extinguish and leave the clown covered in soot but otherwise no worse for wear. Smack a clown with a hammer and it will flatten like a soda can, only to resume its shape in some comical fashion afterwards. Generally clowns can only suffer truly horrendous harm if the method that inflicts it is also humorous.

In a similar vein, clowns have the uncanny ability to pull comedy props and tools out of thin air - generating balloons by blowing into their fingers, pulling an endless rope of inter-twined scarves out of their pocket, spraying geysers of water from a flower on their lapel, etc. The most impressive use of this ability is the Clown Car technique, where dozens, hundreds, or even THOUSANDS of clowns can emerge from a space that reasonably could only hold one or two tops.

And like all cambions, clowns do not die of old age, which means means they can live as long as they aren't killed by unnatural causes. Combine this with the fact that every child of a clown will be a clown itself, and one has to wonder why the earth hasn't been overrun by them - well, except for the fact that most clowns are so careless that they end up meeting those unnatural ends sooner than anyone would expect.

It's rumored that clowns can infect other people and turn them into clowns, much like vampires and werewolves do, but no one knows for sure if that's true (i.e. I'm still mulling over that particular idea).

[defira85]

WIP Whenever

The very lovely @elinorbard tagged me for WIP Wednesday, but it's a dreary rainy Thursday here so you get my Whenever! I've been doing most of my work this week on my BG3 Big Bang fic, but I don't think I want to spoil too much of that ahead of time, so I do thankfully have a snippet from Rhyme's next chapter ready to go (I know, I know, I only posted on the weekend and I already posted another snippet earlier in the week, I promise I do sleep sometimes!)

But a library seemed to imply that multiple people would have access to the knowledge stored therein, whereas a study was a far more personal, private affair. And if there was one thing she had learned about Gromph Baenre over the last decade, it was that there was absolutely no chance he would ever willingly share anything: knowledge, power, riches, it didn't matter. The man wouldn't even share common courtesies, such as- "I have been waiting for three fucking hours," she snarled, charging across the beautiful floors and leaving a trail of now dried mud in her wake. Ahead of her, the man in question was seated at his colossal desk—which definitely wasn't compensating for anything—sipping calmly from a delicate tea cup. He scarcely even raised an eyebrow at her approach, though his gaze did slide to his manservant who scampered in behind her. "I believe I said I was not to be disturbed," he said mildly. "I'm not one of your little fucking errand boys, Baenre," she hissed, hefting her satchel and slamming it down onto his desk. It landed on a pile of papers, and squelched wetly. He frowned. "Clearly not, because the servants in my employ have better manners, and keep a civil tongue in their head," he said, looking her up and down with a disdainful glare. "And know better than to sully my presence with such boorish, soiled attire." "My lord," the manservant said, wringing his hands together anxiously, "I did tell her-" "You may leave," Gromph said calmly, and when the man hesitated, his brow narrowed ever so slightly. "That was not a suggestion—leave." Rhyme thought herself very, very patient for not immediately mocking him for having to repeat himself to his servants. Or slave, the man was very likely a slave, knowing Gromph. His footsteps retreated over the large hall, and then there was a moment or two with awkward crunching sounds as he tried and failed to close the door. "My lord, the Zedriniset has broken the latch—" "Leave!" Gropmh thundered.

Hoo hoo hee hee, Rhyme needed to have someone to yell at, and she does certainly seem to find herself caught in the orbit of powerful, ambitious archmages doesn't she?

Tagging @sleepytimegrrl @robinyourcreator @angelicfangirl @thegingerjedi (you finished Veilguard! i know you've got fic brewing now hee hee) @darkfeanix and anyone else who wants to consider themselves tagged :3

[jazzzzzzhands]

Ok FOR REAL Theory Time!!! Gonna be massive spoilers plus mention of bugs/fungus! So I'm calling this the Mold Theory And what is the Mold? It's the black stuff under Home! (Mold under a house is very suiting, right?) The Mold has contaminated Every single thing that the Restoration team has found! The team talks about the envelopes, the antiques, and the artwork found for Welcome Home and how it is alwasys Wet and covered in Grime. The stuff that is "Growing" all over the found items... Staff must wear gloves or they will get covered in it

You can see it all over the gloves, the Walls, and even the Website Itself! It's also been shown on the restored art prior to the update. But one unfortunate person seems to have touched it. and that is.. The Question Answerer! (The head person of the Restoration team is also most likely infected) Now what this Mold does is, It seems to have an effect of the person's mental state. Causing them to see and hear things, as well as having lucid nightmares and an overwhelming urge to draw spirals. From the very moment of contact, it seems to have effect "When I Unwrapped the first letter, I felt it. I heard it. Open Open Open. I want it out, I'm Going to get it Out" Instant Hallucinations and Obsession! Now I'm going to be Comparing this Mold to a Real fungus called Cordyceps, or the Zombie-Ant Fungus. It is a fungus that can control BUGS (familar themes right?) and take over their minds, forcing them to act unnaturally and wander far in order to spread itself! ~Similarily~ this Mold can take control of the Host's mind as well. The "Spores" that it is trying to spread are the drawings of the spirals/eyes. And the more eyes are Drawn, the more Wally can SEE. Wally has made it truly apparent that he can see us through any rendition of his eyes. "I've seen you every time you've looked into my eyes" "I have more eyes than I did before, you know how to draw eyes You draw mine, many times. I know it is thanks to you, Neighbor.. That I can see.. but it is still.. I can't see" He is giving us instructions.. "You have work to do" -Giving us instrustions on how to draw an eye... "Please Open, Let me In" Now I find this last instruction very funny He doesn't say "Let me Out" No... He says "Let me IN" Into What? What are we Opening? Our doors?Our EYES? our Mind? our Heart?? I think that could be exactly it!!! Letting him.... into You!!! (The collective You) Isn't that Funny? A Funny little thought?! The Puppet becoming the Puppeteer! ooh hee hee hoo hoo I think I'm very clever about that! But there are so many themes of Strings/Control/Scripts That I simply couldn't help myself! Now does that mean I think Wally is Evil? Absolutely NOT I LOVE Wally, and hey, what's a bit of mind control between Neighbors? <333 I'll borrow a cup of sugar and you can borrow my sanity! That's what Neighbors are for! <3 Jokes aside, No I Do NOT think Wally is Evil!! No, he might become a Puppeteer over the Real world... (and It might be for good reason, to save his friends and himself) but he is still very much a Puppet himself. Literally and Figuratively, And the Real Mastermind behind the strings is... Home!

Afterall? Isn't that where the Mold is coming from? From Down Below? Below Home?

This image gives me BIG TIME Obediance vibes Reporting/Worship/Subjugation I very much see Wally as the Lure of a very big Angler Fish.. The bait, the perfect little puppet that has captured our hearts and led us by the hand into Welcome Home. Isn't that very much how it has gone in real life? (Oh I KNOW I got the Mold BAD!!! ahahaha) (I can't stop drawing himmm!!! :3c ) But this is where my rambling stops, Until Next Time! I will just say that: The Relationship between Home and Wally (And by extension, YOU) Is a Strange one for sure! And I cant wait to see it further! And Just one more extra note on this whole Fungus thing.. Did you know that the BIGGEST Organism on the entire Earth.. Is a Mushroom? It is because they are connected through their Roots... (Down Below) and Houses kinda are shaped like musrooms... I will Leave it at That! Ahahahaha!

[therrerium-valkryonia]

Working at a perverted office job was absolutely horrible, a full-term pregnancy wasn't helping at all since she broke her water in the middle of the shift, uncomfortably sitting in her chair she had soaked her stockings in her water, her tight and white polo was soaked in sweat, making her own shirt see-through leaving her frigid in air as she tries holding back the baby, Maxine had clocked in on the last day on this job before she changes to an office jobs that pay a lot more and better.

"Shit! C'mon- Aghh! Please bab- Agh! Ngghh! O." She felt the baby rub up against her lips causing a severe pain to burn across her body this also being 5 hours into her shift, the pain was seared across her lower half even if she shifted her hips the pain of the crowning head remained "Ungh! Please, c'mon now is not the time for this, Ughh" And her pain worsen but she endures a uses her work as a distraction fron the pain and tries to finish her work but the hot-searing pain kept on coming back, "Ugh, Agh, Ngungghh Oh, God, A- Ngghh! No- n- now!" Her boss passed by and saw the pained beauty and walked over to her, "Hi, Maxi sweetheart, how are you?~" Maxine replied with a hard insistent voice "I'm fine no need to worry, Mr. Nix" And being the perverted, creepy asshole he was, he grabbed her chair and pulled her away from the desk, looked right under her leather mini-skirt and saw the very wet bulge under her panties, placed a finger on it and pushed it in and Maxine grabbed the arm rests, clenched her teeth and pushed against it.

As the head pushed forward, Mr. Nix took his finger off and she panted, for him to press her belly and try to force out the baby but Maxine by chance stomped on his foot, sending him back with a chuckle as she spoke pissed "Can I get back to work now, PLEASE. Thank you" and before he left he said "If you birth that bastard in your shift here, I'll fucking fire you or..." Her face was sweaty but pissed and disgusted and so he left and she stood up slowly but the baby still plummets down shoving it's head against the fabric and she falls into a squat her hands hold onto the desk "Ungh, Nargggurgghh mmnn nnhhh, mrrhh, hrraahh, unnngghhh, hoo- hee." It bulges further and she screeches softly but got a hold on the baby and slowly pushed in though the head didn't move back and stayed in place "Irgghhh, Aggrrhhh, Oh why did you have to be born today, Oww" And she moved the chair closer to the desk and the moment she took the seat the pain burned throughout her body and she gripped the desk harder, slowly leaving little marks on the edge and she crosses her legs and keeping them tight but an hour later in her shift.

Her body was drenched in sweat, her tux shirt was see-through and revealed her body and she got looks from everyone that could she her large belly, the pain was worsening and she cradled her belly taking deep breaths, she brushed off the brown hairs off her face while a co-worker came by, Jill came closer and was helpful and massaged her belly to ease her pain but then groped her big boobs to let milk squirt out of her, "Ya like that Maxi? It's okay if you don't." Maxine tried speaking but the pain was all she could feel and think about her words we're quite slurred " I- Hng! I lik- Mmmmmm, I liked i- Ungh, Yes I did, Ugh." And Jill smiled and spread her legs open and she pushed the head at bay and asked "So need me to push it in? Bu-" Her very respone was insistent "Please, Do it, Ugh. Ack! Cunghh! Just do it, no-" Jill hesitantly pushed it in and held Maxine's hand reassuring, they both are going to be okay.

After Jill pushed it back a good amount she crossed Maxine's legs and gave a kiss and left, Maxine was soaked and her body was that like a mannequin, hourglass bod, big breast and a big ass with thighs and hips, she always got looks for it and one of her hated co-workers Mike had to come over while she clenched her fist and he gave demands "Stand up or I will punch your baby, Oh I see how it is." He tried punching but she caught his hand and threw a left hook and he left out of respect but another Co-worker the one named Sally was her least liked she walked to her and said "Stand, C'mon i'll kick you bitch." And instead she slapped her belly and pissed off Maxine who felt a harsh burn sear though her, "You little blonde sex doll full of shit from her very fragile ego" And Maxine made Sally mad as she insisted for her to stand "I'll tell the boss" She stood up slowly and as a response she had looked Sally in the eyes and smacked her cold out to the ground as sat back down "Ow, Ow, Ack, Hoo- Okay no please baby you need to wait no-." Maxine felt the baby plummet, she fell on her back as the baby bulged forward and she cupped the bulged and stood up slightly moving it back in and sat down again and after another hour into her last day at this establishment well..

Her back burned as her boss passed and he made a very inconveinient request "So Maxy can you get me a coffee sweetheart, If you would so kindly please?" She stood up slowly holding her belly and grasping at the bulge waddling over to the coffee machine anf grabbing a cup walking over to her boss and shakily passing over to him but he was mischevious put the cup down and slapped her belly and she fell to a squat and had moved the heax forward and he said "Oh, so it seems you wanna lose this job or should I get you another unwanted baby?" She panicked as she didn't want to lose it right now at this very moment as she had debt to deal with and so she stood up and spoke "I- Unngghh! I can last one more hour an a half" He left with a mischievous smile as she returns to her seat for the final time and hour and twenty-five minutes later her life was flashing before her very eyes in heavy pain.

Her hearing was blear and she felt weak and her baby was slowly dragging across and is slowly going through and she needed water and stood up, her panties snapped, the baby dropped and she grabbed it and held onto it, slowly pushing it back in and squealing softly and waddling over to the water pump and grabbing a cup, walking back to her desk finding her seat stolen, her co- worker laughs "Boss said you fat" She replied in a harsh tone "You bastardous incel lowlife" And he froze in shock as she searches for a chair and drags on back to her desk and letting the baby plummet down sitting down slowly cupped her purple bruised pussy as the clock ticks but her boss comes round and pulls her up and pins her to a wall forcing out the baby as she grabs his shoulders and rams him away, falling to the floor grabbing her belly on her knees with a large and heavy baby crowning as she stands up looking at the clock and seeing the time go down fast and she speaks up to him "S- Ghhhhh your little shitty ass is finally losing a fucking bet but he doesn't want to since he acts like a child" While the baby slides out and she tightens her thighs keeping it in place as her boss raises up "I will not lose a BET!!" and speeds at her, she slams his face in and knee slams her belly sending her down to her knees and him out cold, he pushed the baby out as it burns through and the crowd enlargens as the timer ticks "3..... 2.......... 1" And it rang, she bolted out of there holding onto her baby and falling into a closet and pushing with all she had left "Hgaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!! Oh shit! Oh Shit! Come here, Shh, Shh, Shh it's okay" As Maxine left the building with all she had left and drove to a hospital with her sweaty, bloodied, tired body and got alot of help from her friends.

She went to the interview and got the job luckily.

[fractualized]

Hoo boy. TMWSL #11 dropped a bomb today. Or a potential bomb? There's still one issue to go.

I'll just get into it.

(big ol' spoilers and SO MANY explosions)

We open with Sewer Rat Joker in the middle of kidnapping several Gothamites.

I'm not sure about that guy on the left, but the lil goon on the right is freaking Albert, the dying kid from the hospital, just… tagging along? I love it.

The janitor is loaded into a van with a few others, and "a few blocks away"…

LA Joker's got a bun now!

That is not Mr. Waffles holding an umbrella to protect the bun from the rain. Waffles is elsewhere on his own special task. At first it's like, aw, I'd like Waffles to be attending to the boss like this. But, uh, we'll learn soon it's actually better that Waffles is otherwise occupied.

Anyway, this Joker has been looking and looking and looking for his counterpart, who's managed to elude capture even while while most of his henchmen have been taken out. And this failure is not looking good on LA Joker, who is very frustrated!

It's so funny that the man they're looking for is nearby in an unmarked van. So maybe the goon who Joker threatened actually deserves it when Joker tells the others to throw him off a bridge. 😬

Joker goes back into the warehouse where Killer Moth is watching TV.

Come on, he's just putting on a show!

Before we find out what Sewer Rat Joker is up to, we cut to Manhunter investigating the van he was using. But he, his crew, and his captives are gone. Ravager is there with information from Jason.

Wait wait wait. Is… Is Jason gone because of the Gotham War thing? Are these supposed to be happening at the same time?? I know Knight Terrors indicated that the events in Batman happen around the same time, but this issue has to take place while Bruce is asleep for two months post Knight Terrors. Right? The goings-on in TMWSL couldn't have been paused for that long. It also doesn't make any goddamn sense, because in Gotham War Selina has supposedly enlisted like 95% of the henchmen, and Jason is acting like he has no clue what's going on with Joker, and nobody is talking about all this Joker-related stuff going on. Like obviously this was never going to end with Jason killing Joker, so I was just assuming Gotham War happens after TMWSL with Jason still on the hunt, but... Good lord, Jason better show up in #12, or I'm going to lose my freakin' mind.

We get a panel showing that Mr. Waffles is watching the two women before we cut to midtown.

Now you think, oh, Sewer Rat Joker is still clothed and not naked, so what's his plan? But then he unleashes a hoard of goons and mid-level rogues on the cops, and you realize this is actually LA Joker, suddenly dressed down in a very similar way to Sewer Rat Joker. I assumed this was for some sort of "Shoot him!" // "No, shoot him!" situation later, but… you'll see.

Hee hee, Moth is using his wings to protect himself from the rain and it looks so cute.

Aw, Joker. :( Don't be so mean to the henchmen. At least it wasn't Waffles.

We don't have to wonder what the purpose of the mess is, because back at the warehouse:

Distraction action! This is not a good issue for henchmen, I gotta tell ya.

Uh… sure, Albert. Good guys.

Also, regarding the newcast, is Joker somewhat diminished "in recent years"?? Joker War wasn't that long ago, even less long ago in-universe, I think. Maybe it just means more rogues are stepping up as larger figures, like Bane and Scarecrow, and I guess Failsafe the angsty robot since if that happened before Knight Terrors, then he's a known quantity here.

Meanwhile, the reportedly naked Joker is not so naked.

I'll never not enjoy confused conversations.

Killer Moth gets a report that the warehouse is radio silent, and that someone spotted the imposter in Chinatown at a hardware store. And then…

See, if Mr. Waffles had been hanging with Joker, he might be dead! For real this time!

This shit is why most henchmen must work with Joker because of obsessive reasons, not for money.

Joker and Moth's amazing escape is not very triumphant.

As they hurtle to the ground, we check back in with Manhunter at the warehouse.

Sewer Rat Joker has also done a costume change! Presumably it's part of him retaking his place as the Rightful Joker. So if there's not going to be outfit confusion, I suppose the other Joker just changed for… comfort?

But there is still confusion for Manhunter, who refers to events in Los Angeles, but if course this Joker says he hasn't been there in a long time.

Albert's parents really should have explained to him who the Joker is.

So LA Joker has forced Killer Moth to walk with him to Chinatown to pick up on the imposter's trail, and they meet up with their remaining henchmen. "Remaining" because of all the ones that died at the train wreck, and some other casualties. They also give Joker the bad news that, like Clayface, basically all the villains that were helping him (Zsasz, Firefly, KGBeast, etc) took off because of how badly this search is going. But Joker will press on! He orders the henchmen into the hardware store to get the imposter.

At least we're all having fun heading toward the finale!

Back at the warehouse standoff, Manhunter has a realization.

Joker has definitely murdered pizza boys. Also, aw, he misses Jason. :( Sadly, Jason isn't who shows up to Manhunter's rescue.

Seriously, if Gotham War is the reason Jason isn't here, and he's not present to close this title out, I'm going to be so annoyed. No shade on Ravager and Manhunter, but we started with Jason. This should finish with Jason. Jason helping Selina for nonsensical reasons is a terrible reason for him to not be here hunting the guy he's been obsessed with for 10 issues.

Sigh. Anyway, Joker sics some poor toxin'd doppelgangers on the women before he escapes with Albert.

Buzzing? THAT'S THE SECRET WORD!

Alright, because of the spy adventure, Mr. Waffles cut it a little close this time, but look at the bright side. Now he meets up with the real deal at last!

Ooh, more hints of the real story, as Waffles lore, heck yeah. The henchman was Mr. Waffles' buddy? Was it just like the "flashback" in the last issue, or different?

Wait, what? WHAT? WHAAAAAAAAAAAOkay okay okay okay. That's a big dang reveal, but there's still one issue left. Can't let the instinct to trust our beloved Mr. Waffles toss aside the options for the final issue:

1) This is all true. Sewer Rat Joker has actually been the imposter all the long, despite his elaborate dream with Batman making that seem silly. EXCEPT. John Keyser not knowing that Batman is Bruce Wayne would be an explanation for why he treated them as two separate people in the dream. Even though there was still an obvious link by putting Bruce in the TKJ outfit and having him behave erratically. Regardless, maybe Keyser really is that deep in. (Though if Joker used the brainwashing technology revealed in Task Force X, I think Keyser would know about Bruce Wayne, putting the explanation back at Weird Dream Thing.)

2) Waffles is straight-up lying to save his own life from a pissed off boss. The reason he's so buddy-buddy with LA Joker is because they were buddies before the transformation.

3) Waffles is being truthful, except something happened during the creation of the second Joker that caused John and Joker to switch places, and Waffles just doesn't realize it.

And I'm hoping #2 or #3 is correct. LA Joker had some fun moments (particularly his relationship with Waffles), but I'm definitely more attached to the underdog, the Joker who had that great nightmare and whose inner thoughts we've been privy to. I wasn't at all expecting Joker to have drastic character development or a heel-face turn or the like, but if it turns out that all those vulnerable moments treating Joker as a three-dimensional character instead of a flat, only-evil-and-nothing-but villain are not about him but some delusional henchman… Hrm. HRM. I know it's gonna bug me. It's gonna bug me a lot.

Whatever happens, I'm just hoping Rosenberg sticks the landing.

Oh, and as a side note, unless there was another henchman involved in this mysterious gas experiment, none of this appears to explain who the Joker appearing in Batman Inc was. Theoretically that could've been LA Joker having some fun on the side when he was away, but there's been nothing in the text saying so. I'm getting the strong feeling that, with how unconcerned DC has been with establishing a clear timeline for their intersecting titles, we're never going to get an answer. Or they'll somehow blame the damn omniverse.

[coy-lee]

Cheater, Cheater

@afloofwithmultipleinterests and I had a mIGHTY NEEEED.

And someone in my ask box stirred it up lol. You know who you are >:3

Anyway, there was a need to write some muy fluffy content involving a jester and a spambot. So if you're into that kind of content, stop on by and take a look.

Description: Spamton and Jevil do battle quite often. Spamton feels like Jevil is hiding the secret to freedom in that cell of his. Jevil knows better than that and would rather keep Spamton from finding out the no such secret exists. So, they duke it out, both wanting to win for their own reasons. This time, though, Jevil is a bit worried about how good Spamton has gotten at fighting him...so he takes the battle in a different direction. A very fun direction.

Cheater, Cheater

He was back at the gate. He'd have to beat him eventually, right? Right! He'd have to... He had to. Spamton didn't need the key. Due to his broken nature, he could glitch right through the invisible door and straight into the void Jevil called home. He never knew what to expect when entering the jester's domain. The decor changed quite often, although it was always themed around the circus.

The stairwell above echoed with the sound of Spamton's heels tapping against the hard floor as he walked near the bars. The inside was just as dark as always, making chills go down Spamton's spine. He couldn't chicken out now no matter what. Before Spamton could glitch through the door, the imp materialized himself from the shadows, bells jingling behind him. 

"BOO HOO, BOO HOO, UEE HEE HEE! SO LONELY, SO LONELY I BE.. BUT LO, THREE VISI-" Jevil paused as he recognized Spamton almost instantly. "OH- ITS NOT A RESET, RESET! WHAT A WONDERFUL SURPRIZE!" The jester exclaimed in an illusionary tone of jubilation. "OH COME OUT, COME OUT! LET YOURSELF OUTSIDE, SPAMMY! WHAT FUN WE'LL HAVE, HAVE!"

Spamton groaned, already tired of the clown's antics. A small door appeared within the wall of bars before him. Jevil seemingly created it as a gag. Spamton walked through the door, only to step into a clown-themed tea room, but instead of there being a teapot, a gallon of carbonated 'Clown-Juice' sat in the middle of the table. There were various other jester themed decorations around the room, some that made sense... and some that didn't. Jevil proceeded to turn the chairs around, their backs against the table. 

"HERE! I EVEN PUSHED UP YOUR SEAT FOR YA!"

 The imp sat down in one of the chairs, holding up a spades teacup and slurping his drink as loudly as he could. 

"I'M NOT A [[kids 6 and under]]! AND YOU'RE [[insane deal]] IF Y OU THINK I'LL [[one big gulp!]] ANY 0F TH4T [[WHOOPY JUICE!!!]]" Spamton shouted, trying to establish some ounce of dominance in the clown's realm. He had been here many times before. Even though it wasn't his pocket of unreality, Spamton was now quite familiar with the place... or at least used to expecting the unexpected.  "Y0U KNOW DAMN WELL WHY I [[cruising around town]] DOWN HERE AND 1T ISN'T FOR A [[dinner for two]]."

Jevil went oddly quiet, however his smile widened. The table disappeared, and Jevil began to chug from the teacup he had in his gloved hand. After he was done he tossed the glass behind him, and it exploded similarly to how a certain prissy and popular queen's glass would back in Spamton's dark world. 

"ENLIGHTEN ME, ENLIGHTEN ME!" Jevil started, a smirk replacing his usual cold smile. "IS IT TO PLAY A CARD GAME? OH! OR A GAME OF TAG? OR- OH! I KNOW! YOU WANNA TELL JOKES, JOKES!? OH I LOVE JOKES, AND LAUGHING! I BET IT'S BEEN AWHILE SINCE YOU'VE LAUGHED, RIGHT?" Jevil's word vomit was soon cut off by Spamton who was taken aback by that last query.

"I'LL HAVE YO U KNOW THAT I [[unintelligible laughter]] PLENTY, ESPECIALLY AFTER I [[GAME OVER]] YOU [[juggalo]]!" Spamton countered, gritting his teeth. Admittedly, he was starting to feel the adrenaline rush and the nervousness right behind it. He wouldn't lose again. He WOULDN'T, but doubt was fluttering in his stomach. He could never tell what was going on in Jevil's mind. As an Addison, Spamton was used to predicting people's habits, wants and needs, but Jevil was a severe outlier, and that drove the salesman nuts.

"UEE HEE HEE!" His laugh was hollow, but imitated glee. "SO ITS THE OLD NUMBER'S GAME YOU WANT!" The clown tapped a gloved finger to his chin a moment in genuine thought, before snapping his tail similarly to fingers. He smiled widely at Spamton, his eyes sparkling with an unknown intent. "IF YOU INSIST... I'LL PLAY THAT GAME! BUT I WONT GO EASY ON YOU PINNOCHIO, CHIO~" 

Jevil turned Into his devilsknive, cracking the ground open to where he and Spamton would fall through into the endless void of space. It was the perfect place to battle... an empty canvas of freedom.

"AAYEGUFFFAH! [[$!?!]] WOULD IT [[killed]] YOU TO M4KE IT A SOFTER LANDING? [[JIMINY CHRISTMAS]]" Spamton exclaimed as he slowly got up, rubbing his bottom to relieve the pain from the sudden fall. He quickly shook it off. He had a fight to win. He couldn't let a little surprise like that throw him off. That was Jevil's whole shtick. Surprises. He huffed, getting himself ready for anything.

"BETTER BE QUICK ON YOUR TOES, TOES!" Jevil teased before healing Spamton up with magic for a fairly unfair battle, touching his shoulder to transfer the magic to his HP. "WHO KNOWS, KNOWS... MAYBE YOU'LL OUTSMART ME FOR A CHANGE!" Jevil vaguely encouraged, making spamton feel a little more hopeful... for only a few seconds. "EMPHASIS ON MAYBE." The puppet would scowl at the Imp if he could. Jevil disappeared, reappearing way across from Spamton, dancing and putting on a stage show for the lone audience member. "YOU CAN HAVE THE FIRST MOVE, MOVE!"

"OOOOH NONONO. I'M NOT F4LLING FOR   THAT [[tips and tricks]]. IF I GO FIRST YOU'LL [[uno reverse]] ME. [[Ladies first]], I INSIST," Spamton replied with a devilish grin of his own.

"OKIE DOKIE~ IF YOU INSIST THAT YOU INSIST!" Jevil shrugged, summoning his cliche card-deck bullets, shooting them in various patterns at Spamton, the puppet dodging them effortlessly by jumping, and defying gravity. He had gotten better since the last thousand attempts at trying to beat Jevil... To say the least, the imp was impressed. However, Jevil couldn't let that puppet find out the truth.  That's honestly what made the clown refuse to let Spamton win... It was the puppet's motivation that scared the jester. That was why Jevil needed to win no matter what, or else... Spamton would lose that spark he himself lost so long ago.

The carousel appeared, however it was a bit different. The top and lower border were see-sawing while it spun around, and around. Jevil shot his arms out straight in a T-Pose, summoning various rocking animals with his chaotic magic as they followed along to the beat of the carousel. ... However, despite that fact, Spamton was keeping up, and only got hit once. This was making Jevil kind of nervous..

The nervousness Spamton was feeling before began to wane as he was off to the best start he'd ever had. The carousel was one of the more difficult moves for Spamton to dodge, so this success was a promising sign. So long as Jevil stayed on his script of magical acts, the puppet had a chance.

"IS THAT THE [[Best in the business!]] 

Y OU'VE GOT, [[FOOL]]!? AHEAHEAHEA!" Spamton summoned a phone and spun it in the air like a lasso before flinging it directly at Jevil. The jester shot up into the air to avoid the attack only for the ringing coming from the phone to echo and bounce around the invisible box they were battling in. Jevil danced around most of the sound waves, only being nicked by one.

The carousel started to slow back to its original pace, but kept seesawing. Perhaps Jevil would have to up his game!

 "FAR FROM IT PIKACHU, I'M JUST GETTIN' STARTED, STARTED! METAMORPHOSIS!" The clown transformed into his weapon form, boomeranging around spamton, and lunging at him every 8th of a second. After a few throuple hits, spamton caught onto the pattern, and used mini-spams as deflections to catapult the attention away from himself. Jevil growled a little in frustration as tiny baby Spamtons jumped in his way as he tried to hit Spamton. His smile, however, never left his face.

"YOU FORGET I HAVE [[the boys]] WITH ME AT ALL TIMES? SPEAKING OF WHICH, HOW ABOUT WE PLAY [[DODGE PIPIS!]]" Spamton exclaimed, hurling pipis after pipis at the jester like they were snowballs... Explosive snowballs!

Jevil had just changed back into his normal form when spamton attacked, catching the jester off guard. "OH SEAM IN THE ANGEL'S HEAVEN-" Jevil got hit by three, which knocked his head off his block, springing up and down on his coiled spring neck. If Spamton could use decoys, so could he! Jevil sped up, admittedly tiring him out more than he liked. He went so fast, duplicates of himself were summoned, and it was hard for Spamton to pinpoint a target. ... Jevil had to think of something QUICK, Or else.. that last speck of hope in spamton may die. Wait... he knew! Jevil just needed an opportunity to escape this blue egg barrage... 

"ALTHOUGH A BIT EGGS-TREME, YOUR MOVE IS QUITE A BLAST!"

"..."

Spamton stopped in the middle of a throw, his brain processing what he just heard. Dial-up sounds took over his speech while his glasses blue-screened temporarily. After a moment, he shook his head like a dog, coming back to reality... and he let out the biggest most tortured groan.

"UUUUUUUUHHHHG... THOSE PUNS WERE   SO [[rotten to the core]] I THINK I'M GONNA THROW UP! @c@" Spamton grimaced, glaring at the clown grinning back at him, proud as can be.

As expected, Spamton recoiled his attacks to revive from that hard, mental blow of awful punnery. Jevil teleported away from his spot, into the void, plotting a sneak attack Spamton would never expect out of the likes of him... at least not one in the midst of battle. After the doll was done cringing, he was about to dodge jevil's attack... when he noticed the imp was no longer there. Now THAT wasn't fair!

"HEY WISE GUY! WHAT'S THE BIG [[deal!]] HIDING IS [[cheater cheater pumpkin eater!]]" 

Silence. Complete and utter silence... until he felt two gloves vibrate into his sides, startling him. He spun around, only to see nobody there.

"AYEE! H-HEY! F4CE   ME LIKE A [[valued customer]]!" Spamton shouted, his voice cracking as he was surprised by the sudden assault to his sides. He did a decent job of keeping his composure. Now he needed to stay vigilant. That clown could be anywhere.

"FACE YA LIKE A VALUED CUSTOMER, CUSTOMER?" Jevil giggled, appearing behind him again, however this time the gloves were off. The devil poked slowly up, and down the glitch's ribs. "LAST TIME I CHECKED IT WAS OPPOSITE DAY IN THE DARK WORLDS, WORLDS! IM THE SALESMAN, AND YOU'RE THE CUSTOMER! CAN YOU GUESS WHAT I'M SELLIN~?" 

A mischievous smile stretched across the joker's features. Spamton wiggled, his hands shooting down to grab Jevil's fingers, but he had already disappeared again.

"GYA!TYEEHEEHE- [[$!?!]] THE PRESSES! W-WHAT ARE YOU    DOING!?" the puppet demanded, wide eyed and looking in every direction to locate the culprit. "Y OU'RE NOT PLAYING [[fair share]], CLOWN!"

"I'M NOT PLAYIN FAIR, FAIR?" The jester's voice echoed against the void. The joker in question  chuckled from the darkness at this new game that would surely tire this puppet out. "WELL THERE'S NOTHING IN THE RULES AGAINST A LITTLE..." Jevil now appeared in front of him, a devious grin spread across his cheeks,"GIGGLY, GIGGLY, TICKLE, TICKLE NOW AND THEN~ BELIEVE ME, I DOUBLE CHECKED AND IT'S COMPLETELY LEGAL!" Jevil wiggled his eight fingers at Spamton, dull claws catching the dealmaker's attention. He jumped back, tripping a little bit before putting his hand up in defense as Jevil floated closer with that playfully evil stare.

"W-W-WAIT! HOLD 0N! Y-Y-YOU THINK THAT [[silly billy]] MOVE WILL WORK ON [[number1ratedsalesman1997]]? HA! TOO BAD FOR Y OU! I'M NOT [[tickles your fancy]]," Spamton retorted, squaring up, crossing his arms defiantly, and standing his ground. He knew Jevil wouldn't buy what he was selling, but he had to try. Unfortunately, though he was a good actor, the sudden rosiness of his cheeks called his bluff.

"OH... YOU AREN'T?" Jevil pretended to look convinced, before shrugging. "WELL... GUESS I WAS WRONG! I KNOW YOU'RE AN HONEST, HONEST SALESMAN. HMPH...  FIGURES... GUESS ILL HAVE TO JUST USE MY SPECIAL ATTACK, ATTACK!" Jevil shrugged, sounding disappointed... Did Spamton's lie actually work!? YES!!! THAT HAD NEVER WORKED! It hadn't worked on any Addison that had asked him, or even Seam! But somehow it worked on JEVIL!? Spamton thought he would see through that scam! Jevil really was a fool... 

"WHAT A [[sham]]. GUESS IT'LL HAVE TO DO! IM SURE I CAN HANDLE [[Specil move]]."

"YOU SUUUUURE...? IT'S PRETTY HARD TO DODGE!" Jevil smirked, summoning Spamton's own smirk.

"AH! SHOWING YOUR HAND, HUH? WELL Y OUR [[light shower]] OF SCYTHES IS IMPRESSIVE, BUT NOT SPECIL ENOUGH T0 DEFEAT ME," the salesman replied cheekily. His blush receded as his confidence grew once more. He could handle this. Jevil's special attack was always that giant scythe move.

" LET'S GET THIS [[show on the road]]. THEN I'LL SHOW YOU A RE4L ATTACK!" Spamton taunted.

"WE'LL SEE SPAMTON, SPAMTON!" Jevil flew back over in position before metamorphosing into a scythe, and shooting up towards the ceiling. One scythe fell down, then another and another and another... Spamton knew the rhythm of this attack, becoming a pro at dodging the basic attacks Jevil would usually give the player. 

After all the scythes fell, it left the giant undodgeable one to slowly fall. Spamton braced for impact, raising his arms above his head to protect his plastic noggin upon impact... but it never came. He opened a single eye to see two clawed hands hovering above his underarms, but he was too late to correct his fatal mistake. Jevil touched down, scribbling, and drawing shapes with his nails across the cloth of the salesman's jacket, which was surprisingly thinner than spamton had remembered. 

He tried to fight it, but he couldn't hold in what he didn't expect to come out!

"AYEEEEAHEAHEAHEAHEA! TH-THAHAHAT'S NOT HOHOHOW THIS WOR-GYYYAaAaAaA!" Spamton squealed out, clamping his arms down, knees buckling immediately. He was falling backwards into Jevil's hold due to his weak knees. The puppet took a deep breath to spit out the last coherent sentence he would be saying for a while.

"PLEASE-JEVIL-YOU-DON'T-HAVE-T0-DO-THIS-WE'RE-FRIENDS-R1GHT-PAL-I'LL-GIVE-Y0U-BEST-DEALS-4-LIFE-I-SWEAR!!!"

"JEVIL, JEVIL!?" Jevil paused as soon as he heard his name. His ACTUAL name... Spamton had never said his actual name before! "YOU CALLED ME JEVIL!!" Overjoyed, he squeezed Spamton in a rib cracking hug.

"AG-G-G-GYUH-Y-YOUR EARS MUST BE [[out of batteries]]! I-UHG- NEVER SAID [[legal name]]!" Spamton wheezed out, wiggling to free himself from Jevil's crushing grip.

Jevil loosened his hug a bit, however not enough to let Spamton out of his grasp. "HMMM... YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU'RE RIGHT! I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING BECAUSE OF HOW HARD YOU'RE LAUGHING!"

"WH-" Jevil started tickling again, one arm around Spamton's chest, raising his undershirt up, and the other hand trailing around the doll's stomach. 

"COOOOCHIE COOCHIE COO LITTLE SALESMAN~ ARE YOU TICKLISH, TICKLISH HERE HM? I THINK I CAN HEAR YOU GIGGLING, GIGGLING! I'M TOO DEAF TO HEAR REALLY ANYTHING, SO I'M NOT TOO SURE~!" Jevil noticed a little X where Spamton's bellybutton was supposed to be. He stored that information for much later in his playfully evil onslaught.

"STYAHAHAHAHEAHEAHEAHEA![[HOLY TOLEDO]] NYEAHEAHEAHEAHEAHEA!" Spamton cackled, squirming and kicking aimlessly in the clutches of the clown. He tried to grab at the offending hand exploring his sensitive belly.

Jevil pretended to just now notice his tail was plugging his ears. "OHHHH... THERE WAS THE PROBLEM! NOW I CAN HEAR YOU JUUUUST FINE! UHEHEHEHEEE... SUCH A TICKLISH LITTLE TUM-TUM, HM? GEEZ, I DUNNO HOW YOU CAN STAND IT, NO WAY I'D LAST! TIIIICKLE TICKLE TICKLE, TIIIICKLE~ KITCHY KIIITCH~"

"OHOHO MYHYHYHY GOHOHOHOHOD! SHUHUHUHUT YOUR [[PIE HOLE]] YOU- AYEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEEEE!" the puppet cried out. The tickling was already making him lose all control, and that was embarrassing enough, but the teasing? Jevil was going to kill him with all that sickeningly sweet baby talk. You could hardly make out Spamton's red cheeks due to how red the rest of his face was. All he wanted to do was curl up in a ball and hide from his adversary, but he wasn't in a position to do that. All he could do was flail and squeal... But the part that truly made the salesman want to hide was the fact that... he didn't hate this... At all. 

BUT HIS WORST ENEMY COULD NEVER KNOW THAT SO-

"THIHIHIHIHIHIS IHIHIHIHIS [[AGAINST THE GENEVA CONVENTION]] YOHOHOHOHOU ANIMAHAHAL!"

"A WAR CRIME? KEHEHE~" Jevil stopped, letting Spamton catch his breath. The puppet relaxed, his giggling mixed in with static as he panted. "SMILING DURING A WARCRIME DOESN'T SEEM VERY ORDERLY... THEN AGAIN I WOULDN'T KNOW ABOUT ORDER, ORDER! UEE HEE EHEE~ I THINK YOU ENJOY, ENJOY THIS, DON'T YOU SPAM-MAN?" Jevil questioned, a rare, genuine smile coming out.

"W-W-WHAT!? N-N-NO!!! THAT'S [[Crazy bread]]! I'M A PROFESSIONAL! I'M A [[BIGSHOT]]! BIGSHOTS DON'T-

DON'T -

DON'T -

DON'T -" 

Spamton glitched, his glasses blue screening again. His entire face to the tip of his nose was bright red, steam puffed out from the sides of his head, and a car horn beeped, the sound coming from Spamton's agape mouth.

Jevil chortled a bit, letting his battle buddy let the embarrassment out of his system. "DON'T WHAT? DON'T HAVE FUN, FUN? WHAT'S WRONG WITH A LITTLE GIGGLE EVERY NOW AND THEN, HM?" Jevil questioned out of curiosity, and assurance. "ITS OKAY TO BE GOOFY AND FEEL GOOFY EVERY NOW AND AGAIN, AGAIN! DON'T YOU THINK SO?" Jevil poked just a single digit on Spamton's side just above his hip, feather light to just get giggles out of the salesman.

"GyeYEEhehehehe NOHOHOhoho!" Spamton laughed, shaking his head and trying to hide his face with his hands. He was no longer trying to stop Jevil's hands, now focusing on covering his red hot cheeks. "J-JEVIL IHEEHEEHeehee CAHAHAHAN'T!" He jerked away from the prodding finger and was able to rock forward, still breathless with giggles as he weakly attempted to crawl away.

Jevil giggled sinisterly, floating after spamton before grabbing both of his ankles. "GYEHEHE~? NYOHO YOU CAN'T? TELL ME STOP AND MAYBE I'LL BELIEVE YOU~!"  Spamton fell on his padded tum as the devil pulled his legs out straight and sat on the back of his knees, hovering those ungloved claws above spamton's shoed tootsies. "UNTIL THEN, I GUESS ILL HAVE FUN WITH AN ENSY WEENSIE SPOT YOU DECIDED TO LEAVE OPEN~" Jevil playfully reminded, before slipping off both of those flat heeled leather shoes the salesman always wore. With no money to afford socks for those old shoes he found in the trash, Spamton's plush little feet were now completely exposed. 

oh. NO.

"W-W-WAIT! TH-THAHAHAT'S EVIL!" Spamton's eyes widened to the size of saucers when he felt himself get pinned under the jester's weight. "THOSE ARE [[fine Italian leather]] YOU [[little sponge]]!" A wobbly smile stretched across the peddler's face just from the threat alone. He curled up his toes, trying to get ready for what was to come.

"REALLY!? I THOUGHT THESE WERE PLEATHER!" Jevil teased, tracing two nails down  tiny feet, the delicate jointed toes scrunching up in response. Spamton snorted, trying to cover his mouth to hide his giggles and high pitched squeals. He only uncovered it to speak. "IHIT'S UHUP TO PLAHAHAYER INTERPRETAHATION!!" His puppet hands slammed back over his teeth, one trying to keep his bottom jaw closed and the other attempting to block the puppet mouth gap.

And with that.. another finger joined on both feet, now swirling and wiggling. 

"OHO... IT ISNT HEALTHY TO HOLD BACK YOUR LAUGHTER SPAMTON! LET IT AAAALL OUT. KEHEHEE~"

"NNN-NNNGYKHKHKHK... MMM-PFFFFFTAHAHEAHEAHEAHEA!" Spamton finally burst out into hysterics. He was slapping the floor, trying to find relief from the sensations plaguing his tiny feetsies.

"OH MY FOX! SEE? ARENT YOU HAVING FUN? YOU SEEM TO BE ENJOYING YOURSELF! UEEHEHEHEE~" Jevil teased, ever so gently raking his nails over every inch of the doll's feet, including under and between those lil' toesies! "WE SHOULD BATTLE LIKE THIS MORE OFTEN! THIS KIND OF GAME IS SO MUCH MORE FUN THAN THAT OLD NUMBERS GAME!'' Jevil turned around slightly, seeing the jolly old puppet snorting, and thumping his fists on the ground. Snickering, the joker pulled away, turning around to face him, still on seated Spamton's knees. The imp temporarily stood to gently maneuver spamton facing up so the puppet could catch his breath easier. 

"YOUHOU OKAY PINOCCHIO?" Jevil asked, giggling a bit at Spamton's expression.

"@c@ I'M -pant- STILL [[breathing the fresh air!]]" the spambot replied, recovering from that last attack. He rubbed his feet together to shoo away those dastardly phantom tickles left behind. "BUT I WILL NOT CONCEDE TO YOUR [[TOMFOOLERY]]. NEVER..."

"NEVER YOU SAY, SAY?" Spamton should NOT have given the jester such a sweet treat of an opening... 

Jevil picked the puppet up under the arms, bringing the salesman onto his lap with a previous idea brewing to the forefront of his mind.

"PERHAPS THE RIGHT SPOT WOULD CHANGE YOUR MIND~" Jevil smirked, pulling Spamton's shirt back up from before revealing his plush tum, booping a side just barely with the pad of his finger, keeping his claws to himself for the time being.

"EEHEEHEEP! R-RIGHT SPOT? N-NO THERE ARE NOT MORE [[spot remover]] I SWEAR. Y-YOU'RE WASTING YOUR [[time sensitive offer]]..." Spamton rushed out. He giggled nervously and gave Jevil a pleading look... but he still never said the magic word. Instead, the salesman grabbed onto the jester's hands, holding them away from his body.

"NO MORE SPOTS? OH NO, NO, NO! I THINK YOU'VE FORGOTTEN, FORGOTTEN A FEW MISTER~!" Jevil giggled gently pushing Spamton's arms back, the salesman's arms still jelly after the prior attacks. "LIKE THESE TWO HIPS!" Jevil kneaded his thumbs into the joints, just barely skimming the doll's sides with his claws.  Spamton flailed, kicking those little legs of his faster than a roadrunner. 

"HAAEHAHEHEEHEA!! [[Fifty percent off!]] JEHEH-SNORT! [[Ha ha ha!]]AHAAH-" 

"OOOOOORRRR..." Jevil crawled his hands to Spamton's sides and started to tickle that stuffed tum of his! "THIS LITTLE SWEET SPOT RIGHT HERE, HERE!"

"GYAAAHAEHEAHEAHEAHEA! NAHAHAT THE [[tummy wummy]]! AYEEHEEHEEHEE!" The spambot was lightly slapping at Jevil's chest as he squirmed fruitlessly. "YOHOHOURE THE DEHEHEVIL!"

"NOT THE TUMMY WUMMY? AW! BUT YOU SOUND LIKE YOU LOVE, LOVE THIS ON YOUR TUMMY WUMMY!" Jevil cooed, slowing the tickles down to be gentle. "DEVIL IS IN MY NAME! DON'T WEAR IT OUT~ OH! SPEAKING OF BEING EVIL,"  Jevil trailed off, drawing a single swirling finger around the canvas of spamton's belly, slithering around his middle in circles like a snake. "I WANNA SEE WHAT KIND OF GIGGLY TREASURE I CAN GET FROM THAT X!"

"NONONOHOHOHO! THAT [[parking spot]] IS [[out of commission]]! D-DOHOHON'T Y OU DAHAHAHARE!" Spamton squealed in protest. He immediately slapped his hands over his belly button to guard it from the devious clown.

"WELL THATS NOT VERY NICE!" Jevil teased, a challenging grin stretching onto his face... did Spamton really think he would only use his hands to tickle him to snorts? "GUESS WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO DO THIS THE HARD WAY... SAY, SPAMTON," the imp stretched his tail around and bent the tips of the J to tuck under the dummy's arms.  "I DON'T RECALL, BUT IS THIS A TERRIBLY, TERRIBLY SENSITIVE AREA~? COOOCHIE COOCHIE COOO LITTLE ADDISON~"

"NYAHAEHAEHAEHAEHAE! YOHOHOU [[$!?!]]!" That clever move by Jevil did the trick. Spamton immediately clamped his arms down, bringing his fists up to his chest. "STYAHAHAP TEASING MEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!"

"DO YOU NOT LIKE BEING TEASED TO BITS, SPAMMY? ALSO, IF YOU WANT TO KEEP MY TAIL UNDER YOUR ARMS, BE MY GUEST! OTHERWISE, OTHERWISE YOU CAN RAISE THEM UP AND TRY YOUR LUCK! UEEHEEHEE!'' While explaining this in a playful tone, Jevil went back to swirling around the little belly pudge, getting closer and closer to the spot of buried belly laughs.

"AHEAHAEHAEHAEHAE! YOU'RE GOHOHONNAHAHA [[killed]] MEEEEHEEHEE! SNORT!" the salesman cackled, hardly able to focus enough to make any comebacks. He was losing his mind, but he wasn't ready to surrender to this fiend.

Jevil etched closer... and closer... until finally he swirled right onto the little X, before stopping entirely. Everything stopped in place, the movement under his arms, the swirling, all that was on focus was the finger sitting still on the little stitch. Jevil gave Spamton a cat-like look of mischief, not doing anything but waiting out the inevitable. "YOU KNOW WHAT? LET'S STAY LIKE THIS A MOMENT, MOMENT! YOU ENJOYIN' YOURSELF? I KNOW A GENUINE SMILE WHEN I SEE ONE~" In actuality.. Jevil was planning his ultra tickle attack in the back of his mind during this one-sided conversation before finally unleashing the mother of all tickles.

"I-pant- [[dont trust like that]]... YOU... -pant- YOUR TEASING ME AGAIN! I-pant- I ADMIT TO NOTHING!" Spamton said defiantly. Maybe he could tough it out…

"DON'T TRUST ME? WHY SPAMMY! WHAT HAVE I DONE FOR YOU NOT TO TRUST ME?!" the joker questioned, feigning innocence. Spamton knew better than to trust a literal Jester devil after tickling him half to death when they were having a fair and square battle just before! Whatever happened to that anyway!? This wasn't fair at all! Spamton was getting tired. The look the doll gave Jevil after saying that said it all.

"AW... SPAMTON, I'M HURT! HEARTBROKEN, SHOT IN THE CHEST!" Jevil overdramatized, cocking an arm over his forehead, Spamton not seeming to notice both hands were off his belly. The puppet slowly but surely caught his breath as Jevil did his theatrics, all the while giving the purple imp a look of suspicion. After a moment, Jevil smirked, bringing a single arm around Spamton's ribs in a gentle hug to keep him still. "WELL, I THINK YOU DESERVE A PRESENT FOR BEIN SUCH A GOOD SPORT, AND HAVING AN ADORABLE LIL LAUGH!"

"I-I-I-I [[shut your yaps]]! WHAT ARE Y 0U PLANNING JEVIL?" the doll inquired suspiciously, his cheeks flushed from the embarrassing compliment on top.

"I DUNNO, DUNNO! I THINK IM PLANNING ON GIVING YOU A PRESENT FOR BEING A SNORTY, FLUFFY LITTLE GIGGLEBUG!" Jevil replied, his smirk unhindered. He leaned down just a little bit, trying to be inconspicuous.

"I-I'M NOT [[soft and fluffy]]! AND DON'T CALL ME A... [[ERROR 404]]!" Spamton squeaked in response, not wanting to repeat the new nickname. He didn't know what was going through that clown's mind, but he knew it was a grand finale. That look in Jevil's eyes said it all.

The look on Spamton's face read that the jig was up. With that, Jevil suddenly shifted his face downward towards the tummy before him, giggling a little before starting to ticklishly nom on the sensitive belly with those teefers of his! "OMNYomNYOMNOM~! I KNOWM YOUWH LOWVE WHEM SHAWM DIB DISH! OMNYOMMONCHCROMCHMOOMCH!" the devil teased playfully before bringing one claw down to tease a side while nomming away like a cat on a ball of yarn.

"AAAAHAHAHAHAHAEHAEHAEHAE! OHOHO [H E A V E N] IHIHIHI CAHAHAHAN'T! ICANTTAKEIT!" Spammy shrieked, shaking his head and pushing weakly at the little devil's shoulders. Tears of mirth were streaming down his rosy cheeks, and his glasses slid off his face and toppled to the side. He tossed his head back and curled forward over and over again, not knowing what to do. After 30 seconds or so, he broke.

"OHOHOHOKAAAAYEEEEHEEHEEHEE! Y 0U [[W1NNER]]! PLEEEHEEHEEHEEHEEEEE-SNORT-EEHEEHEASE! MEHEHERCYEEEEEHEEHEEE!"

As soon as the word was given, Jevil retracted his tail, and rose up from Spamton's tummy, letting the puppet recover from that final attack that left him breathless.

"AH... HAEHAE... HEHE... HEH... Ahhhh..." The puppet let the residual giggles bubble out of his throat while he breathed. He closed his eyes, feeling exhaustion take over. Spamton was waiting for Jevil to declare victory and kick him to the curb, back to his dumpster like the clown always did... But... He opened one of his eyes to see Jevil hovering with his legs crisscross, sitting on his tail, a genuine smile taking over his features.

"....SO?" The salesman asked, sitting up slightly to look the joker in the eye. 

"SO WHAT, WHAT?" the jester replied while leaning on two fists curiously.

"AREN'T YOU GOING TO [[dispose of any used needles!]]?"

Jevil's eyes widened in realization, before his face softened into an unnaturally gentle expression. 

"YOU CAN STAY HERE AS LONG AS YOU NEED, NEED! YOU DID JUST LAUGH YOUR STUFFING OUT AND ALL, "  Jevil explained, magically pulling a blanket out from behind his back and tossing it to Spamton, who caught it out of surprise. The salesman really didn't know what to think of all of this... The clown had never been nice to him like this. The other boss-darkner tended to be cold behind that mischievous, playful look in his eyes... He was that one step away from freedom, blocking his only escape to the real world.. HEAVEN. ... but never had Jevil acted like this before... It almost reminded him of a family he lost long ago.

The doll looked down at the blanket in his lap. Then up at the clown.

"I... um... thank you..." Spamton was shocked enough to lose the glitches that stole his speech for just a moment.  A sudden "POOF" from under his butt and a cushiony feeling alerted him to the cat bed he was now sitting in. He tried to take offense to that, but he couldn't. Instead he took the opportunity to get some sleep in a real bed...first time in a long time. He curled up, snuggled in the blanket. The salesman drifted off to sleep quickly, having not been this comfortable in so long.

Jevil hummed in content. He needed this. They both did. They were both being tortured endlessly by the game they lived in ... and them fighting all the time was tiring. In this moment they both realized how stupid it was, the endless fighting. They both understood what it was like to be thrown away, not only by society, but by the game itself. If anything they should be allies... No... friends.

Of all the things to make them see that... It was this particular fight. Jevil giggled at the prospect that something so silly may have just permanently changed how the two misfits saw each other.

And that was a wonderful thing.

[howlingday]

Funny moments from sonic zombies but with rwby characters.

(by the way if not seen sonic zombies)

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3D2Py2TdM_DVw&ved=2ahUKEwjksa63srKHAxV7EEQIHaH-BXAQwqsBegQIDxAE&usg=AOvVaw23ZoHEXf2U1j38wUCdX8N3

Here you go

Oh, I have certainly seen Sonic Zombies, Hooba Dooba...

---------------------------------------------------

It was the night before Non-Descript Winter Holiday, and all through the town, not a creature was stirring... HA! Except for Ruby on her Segway! Ha ha! Ngh... D-Dammit...

Ruby: Douching through the snow~!

Ruby: Riding my Segway~!

Ruby: Which I shouldn't have~!

Ruby: Because the company went under~! Hee-hee~!

---------------------------------------------------

Weiss: (Talking to a pile of bratwurst) Und den, Helga grew up, und she didn't have to vurk at Disney anymore. Und vutt did ve learn? If you go to vurk at Disney, you might have a job! Ich liebe dich~! (Kisses pile) Ich liebe dich, gut nacht~! Gut nacht, liebchens~!

Weiss: Oh, und vutt are you all doing over here?

---------------------------------------------------

Blake: (Sighs)

Ruby: (Zipping around) Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho~! Radical, dude~! (Knocks down camera) Whoa- OOOOOOOOOOGH!

Ruby: Hey, Blake! What's with you? You look like you could use some Chips Ahoy!

Blake: (Sighs) Oh, Ruby, I miss Jaune. We were so close...

Ruby: Yeah, we all miss him. I mean, not really, but yeah. I agree.

Blake: ...You know what, Ruby? You remind me of Jaune.

Ruby: (Dressed like Jaune) Gee, I... wonder why.

Blake: Ruby, I think I'm falling in love with you~.

Ruby: You know what this means~! I'm getting laid, only at your Wal-Mart~!

---------------------------------------------------

Oscar: Now, see here's the master plan! I took all of Weiss' bratwurst to summon demons! I'm gonna bring those zombies back and with it- (Camera flies) OOOOOOOOOGH!

Oscar: Oh, dear zombie lords, come to me because I need help! If I can take over the world, people will actually respect me! (Shakes) WHOOOOOA~!

---------------------------------------------------

Jaune: Since you're a vampire, you're not going to try to suck our blood, are you?

Yang: Naw, man, I just drink cherry and grape soda. More importantly, the only way we can kill Ruby as a Rose-Hound is if we weaken her first.

Pyrrha: And how are you going to weaken her~?

Yang: Well, we need to find us a fine, sweet-ass bitch to take care of her, because if she does her, then she'll be vulnerable, and if she's vulnerable, I can take care of the rest, man~!

Jaune: Well, if we're going to do that, then I volunteer YOU to do it.

Blake: Hang on now! Why should I do it?! Because I'm a woman?!

Weiss: Oh, nein, nein, nein, Fraulein Blake~! You are ze most beautiful, kindest, sweetest, most gentle woman in the world. You are so sveet~!

Blake: Aw, do you mean that, Weiss~?

Yang: Naw, you just got a big ass!

Weiss: Ja, ja, pretty much.

Pyrrha: Uh, I think maybe I should go, too, because, I mean, she might find a two-for-one special more appealing! You know, like buy one, get one free~?

Jaune: Okay, Pyrrha, you can go, too. But this is going to be very dangerous. In fact, you could die from her doing you too hard!

Pyrrha: God, I hope she does~!

---------------------------------------------------

Blake: Okay, I'm going to get some champagne. Does anyone want some?

Nora: NO~! LET ME DO IT~! HUAH HUAH HUAH~!

Nora: (Pouring glasses) Huah huah~! I love the holidays because it means I can get drunk~! Jingle bells, la la la~!

Nora: Huh...? (Turns) AUGH?!

Ren: Ahoy there! We're from IKEA, come to deliver a bed for you~! Hoo hoo hoo~!

Blake: Oh, my bed is finally here~! The bed will be right upstairs, and, well, since it's the holidays, why don't you stay for the party?

Ren: That would be quite swell~! Hoo hoo hoo hoo~!

Winter: If it's not too much trouble, then we would be happy to partake.

Blake: (Sighs) Don't you just love Non-Descript Winter Holiday? It's a time for friends, and family, and getting together~.

Jaune: You know, I really thought something bad was going to happen tonight, but I'm really glad it didn't!

Yang: Man, nothing bad happens on motherfuckin' Non-Descript Winter Holiday!

Weiss: Unless you have the spoiled kids who don't get the right colored iPhone.

Nora: HA HA~! NO MORE CHAMPAGNE~! (Hiccups, Falls) I DRANK IT ALL~!

Ruby: Ha ha~! A drunk white girl at a party~!

And so, there was no more RWBY Zombies. Just RWBY and their friends, all having a wonderful time...

Yang: (Sighs) It's real pretty tonight. Kinda lonely, but... I dunno...

Winter: Ms. Belladonna? Ms. Belladonna, your bed is- Oh! Excuse me, you're not Ms. Belladonna.

Yang: (Blushes) Uh, n-no, no, I'm not! I'm Yang! Um, who are you, er, gorgeous?

Winter: I am Winter, and it is a pleasure to meet you.

Yang: Y-Yeah, nice to meet you, too! Hey, you wanna go get a drink with me, motherfucker?

Winter: (Giggles) That would be delightful. Please, lead the way~.

Jaune: Well, Blake, it's time for me to go. It's been fun, but I have a kitty-cat to scrub.

Blake: Oh, are you sure you can't stay a little longer~?

Jaune: (Sighs) Yes, I know you want to have sex with me, but... Well, audience, it's time for me to go. It was fun while it lasted. But all good things must come to an end. (Leaves) EXCEPT ME! I WILL LIVE FOREVER~! HUEHUEHUEHUE~!

Jaune: Oh, I had a kitty on Non-Decript Winter Holiday~!

Jaune: And I'm going to scrub it~!

Pyrrha: Well, Weiss, everyone's hooking up tonight except us. Wanna get a little... desperate~?

Weiss: EXCUSE ME, I HAVE A BULL FAUNUS HUSBAND WITH EIGHT CHILDREN! You disgust me! (Leaves) YUCK!

Pyrrha: (Sighs) I'll never get laid by someone with a big weiner...

Oscar: Hyuck~! Actually, I'm hung like a elephant~!

Pyrrha: OOH-HOO-HOO~! THAT MEANS YOUR DICK IS FIVE FEET LONG~! C'MERE~!

Ruby: Well, Blake, everybody else hooked up tonight. Except you and me. Maybe we can go in your bedroom so you can hooba my dooba finally~?

Blake: Actually, Ruby, that's why I invited you~.

Ruby: HOOBA DOOBA~?! OOHOOHOOHOO~! HOOBADOOBADOOBA~! I can't believe it! This is gonna be the best RWBY Zombies ever because I finally get laid~!

Blake: Yeah, why do you think I bought a new bed~?

Ruby: I-I dunno, maybe you shit in the last one- I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW HOOBA DOOBA~!

Blake: Well, Ruby, before we do it, there's one thing I need to tell you about~. Promise you won't leave~?

Ruby: Uh... You are a chick, right? I mean, dicks are fine, but...

Blake: No, I'm definitely a woman, through and through. But there's a little secret I have to tell you~.

Ruby: Um... Okay, I'm ready!

Blake: Ruby, I'm not a Cat Faunus. I'm actually

A DEMON THAT'S GOING TO DEVOUR YOUR SOUL!

---------------------------------------------------

"WAAAGH!" Ruby shot up from the couch with a start. Panting, she whirled around, hoping she truly was awake. Confirming her reality, she placed a hand to her chest and sighed.

"Are you okay, Ruby?" Weiss asked from her seat across from Ruby. She had put the book she was reading down as she stepped closer to her partner.

"Yeah," Ruby stood and stretched, "I was just having one of those REALLY weird dreams. You hungry?"

"I could eat. Your usual milk and cookies?" Weiss asked with a flat look.

"No!" Ruby shouted, startling Weiss. "No, uh... How about bratwurst?"

"Oh, I haven't had a decent bratwurst in so long..."

[systemadministratorclu]

Much like she did when she randomly showed up with the Monolith on the roof, Doomsday sends a text to the Atlantis boys, telling them to meet her for a surprise.

This time, though, she tells them to meet her in one of the old buildings outside of the Office, one of the dead ones so as not to disturb anybody or anything.

She's really excited for them to find this surprise. When they arrive, they'll find their ghost friend standing there inspecting her fingernails, while she has one of her big black boots pinning down a man who is currently struggling useless on the filthy floor of the building. She's quite strong despite being a weightless ghost, and so the man just looks like he's swimming in place, kicking up all kinds of debris, although his screams are muffled on account of the sock stuffed into his mouth.

This man is Rourke's father.

When she sees her two buddies arrive, she grins. "Hey hey! Took you two long enough. Look what I found just sitting around a few timelines back exactly where I was looking for him, ehehehehe. Hoo hee hoo ha ha! Ready to party?" she asks, laughing, gesturing over at all the tools she's laid out for them to use.

Leaning against the wall are just about any kind of weapon you can imagine. Anything from knives to baseball bats to a literal rocket launcher.

(Be as little or much graphic as you like. x) )

@the-haunted-office

Milo was confused, having never seen the man before. But Rourke was frozen in shock at the face he'd never expected he would see again.

Jackson Rourke was, of course, pissed. This weird woman had just grabbed him from the bar, where he'd just declared loudly for the millionth time to some nosy person that he didn't have a son. While he knew very well the boy had joined the Army, Jackson told everyone either that the kid was dead or he'd never existed. He was actually glad the day his wife died. It meant she wouldn't stand in his way anymore, as he did what he needed to make sure his son became a real man, not soft like his damn mother insisted on letting him be. As soon as she was gone, he smacked the tears off his ten year old son's face before he knocked him to the floor and gave him something to cry about. The boy had been unconscious and beaten bloody, laying on the floor beside his mother's bed (where her still-warm corpse lay), when Jackson left the room to fix himself a drink. Not his fault the kid was soft and weak.

He hadn't seen Lyle since the boy ran off at age fifteen, yet when he looked up at the newcomers, he knew the bigger man in the gray tank top, green military pants, brown boots, and black fingerless gloves was his son instantly. He had his mother's deep, dark brown eyes. Eyes that went cold when they met Jackson's......yet filled with a disgusting softness and warmth when he looked at the man with him. Though in Jackson's mind, 'man' only applied loosely to this skinny stick freak with those ridiculous huge glasses, which announced the man was deformed somehow.

Milo just had a feeling about today and as a result was dressed a little more dramatically than usual. He was in a black tank top, black pants, lightweight black boots, black wraps around his forearms, and a black leather collar with silver spikes (they were harmless, they only looked sharp.....yes, Lyle had used that pun). He looked like someone out of an action movie. Which was fitting for what was going to happen.

"Uh.....who is he?" Milo asked, snapping Rourke out of his thoughts.

"Sorry. Milo, my love-" Jackson's eyebrows shot up. No way was that right. HIS son? Liked men? And liked.....THAT!? No. No no no, "-meet Jackson Rourke. My.....father." Now the stick man's eyes went as cold as Lyle's, and his lips even curled back into a surprisingly menacing snarl as he looked to Jackson.

"So it's YOU who made my Lyle's life hell." Milo hissed through gritted teeth, his hands in fists at his sides as he stalked toward the man under Doom's boot. He was deliberately slow, like the Terminator, his eyes cold yet blazing at the same time.

"I'm normally not a violent man, Mr. Rourke. But for someone who would do the things you've done to their own child-a CHILD!!-I will make an exception." Jackson was distracted trying to be disgusted by the spit he felt hit his face, and as a result, never saw the foot coming as Milo spun around and drove the toe of his boot HARD into the man's face. Blood and a tooth or two (and the sock) flew from his mouth. He barely had time to recover before Milo's other foot slammed into him just as hard from the other direction, and by the time he recovered from that, Milo had a knife in his hand.

"Get up." He growled.

"Fuck you." Jackson spat, only to be yanked up by his son.

"I would very strongly advise you NOT to piss him off any more." Rourke said, "You WILL regret it." Rourke knew very well that Milo could fight, Rourke, along with Kida and others, had taught him. Now, Rourke found it amusing when someone picked a fight with Milo, thinking it would be an easy win. He knew they had a nasty surprise in store for them.

Milo knew he had this advantage too, and he planned to use it now, as he challenged Rourke's father.

[morroodle]

the Mechanic Morro brainrot is back, this time he's in the show (au of an au call that au²)

Just gonna dump this here

I like the idea of him being wu's bio son and inheriting the power of creation more in this version of the au but its not mandatory. Does allowed for him to wiggle his tail when excited tho (dragon morro brainrot leftover from previous post). Maybe he dosent properly inherit the power but it kinda shows up in the way he's always making stuff and is real good at it

He has modified the hell out of the monastery, alot like the base they have in season 11 and onwards. There are so many security measures and wu cannot stop him from making more

How does the monastery get attacked and burn down then? Idk man don't worry about it

Dosent meet the ninja formally, whoevers first kinda just stumbles upon him in his cave making a mech/car/bike and he's just like. Oh hi. This is for u. Welcome to the monastery now get the fuck out of my lab.

Kinda just gonna throw out Jay's mechanic/tinkerer thing. Morro is the one who makes the bounty fly. When they first arrive and he sees the massive panel of buttons and knobs and things he freaks out excited and starts work right away figuring out what they do. Happy boy.

Goes absolutely insane when he discovers Jay's from a junkyard. Absolutely vibrating with excitement (probably giggling maniacally)

Similar reaction to finding out zanes a robot. Constantly begging and trying to convince him to let him poke around. "I just wanna look!" < going to add guns

Wojira duo my beloved. Definitely helps with samurai x and knows Nya's secret, partially because it's fun and partially because he's a bitch and thinks messing with the ninja is hilarious

Big cousin morro my beloved. Fully encourages little Lloyd's shit and is a terrible influence

The absolute PAIN morro feels when he sees wu get eaten by the great devourer. Just fucking devastated, screaming in agony. The ninja have to drag him away from trying to singlehandedly murder the snake. He is now traumatized <3

That's about as far as I've gotten but man this is fun. hee hoo silly little guy

[ithinkthiswasabadidea]

10 Characters / 10 Fandoms / 10 Tags

Pick 10 Characters from 10 Different Fandoms and Tag 10 People

Tagged by the lovely @ainulindaelynn

I dont think I have to describe why I love these characters? But I'm gonna 😅

Not in order, but obviously a number of them are from my recent fixations:

John Soap MacTavish (Call of Duty) darling lion hearted man. When 'doomed by the narrative' is yet again doomed by the same narrative a second time... Contrary to popular opinion, I thought his final acts and his death were perfect, though heartbreaking, of course

Constantin D'Orsay (GreedFall) I was SHATTERED that we couldn't save him. I was so convinced there was a way...... he never deserved the fate that corrupted him. He was a good man, I just wish we could have helped him

Ashrah (Mortal Kombat 1) GODS she's beautiful 😍 I dont know too much about her, I'm new to MK, but there is something so inherently hopeful about a character CHOOSING to do good, and be good, after everything bad they were forced to do

Caduceus Clay (Critical Role, The Mighty Nein) my BOY, my DARLING 😭 I adore everything Cad stands for, and how much of his heart and soul guided the Nein when they thought all hope was out of reach. There is no Mighty Nein, Nine of them, without Caduceus

Chloe Frazer (Uncharted: The Lost Legacy) Chloe is one of only a few characters I've looked at and gone 'Oh. I get her. She's like me' and I so, so love her arc in Lost Legacy, maybe you don't have to be an asshole all the time 😌

Charles Smith (Red Dead Redemption 2) from the moment we met him, I knew I would do anything for Charles. He is such a well written and dimensional character, I hope he got his happy ending eventually

Roronoa Zoro (One Piece Live Action) I watched the live action show with my partner not expecting to like it really, but immediately I fell head over heels for the grumpy, forcefully serious Zoro and his stupid swords

Alkibiades (Assassin's Creed Odyssey) my BESTEST friend omg 🥰🥰 somewhere between him sending Kassandra to fetch his favourite dildo, and helping her make plans to take down the Cult, I realised that there was so much more to him than meets the eye

Halsin (Baldur's Gate 3) hee hee hoo hoo big bear man make brain go brbrrrrrrrrrvvrbrr 😍🥵 I know almost nothing else about him, I don't even have the game yet. But Halsin. When I do. I'm comin' for ya

Sokka (Avatar: The Last Airbender) that's the guy I grew up with, the guy I watched and loved as a kid and still love now. It is so beautiful watching Sokka come into his own during the show chapters

Tagging 10 people (hello mutuals I see in my notes a lot, this is no pressure 😊) : @sushisocks @starsharks @picachews @devotion-that-corrupts @spookykittenwrites @vilcade @pancakesforamber @sonicskullsalt @sir-bertrandbell @pawthorn

[kiwikipedia]

15 Lines Game

Rules: Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture their character/personality/vibe. Bonus points for just using the dialogue without other details about the scene, but you’re free to include those as well.

Tagged by @purgetrooperfox hoo hee

not tagging anyone but anyone is free to do this :)

“You’ve been starin’ down at your drink for like, ten minutes. The ice melted. Here, just take this one.” Sylv tapped the new glass and Fox glanced at the one between his hands— True to her words, the ice to his drink had melted to nothing.

“You two better not be breakin’ my shit in there, Enbo!"

“Dex is an old god," Sylv scoffed, holstering her blaster as she glanced at Nomi. "He can take care of himself. He knew the risks of staying.”

“You should get out soon, though, I have a feeling it's only going to get worse. We still don't know why the Clones flipped their lids and why the Senate declared the Jedi traitors.”

“How is it that we always end up in this predicament?” she complained, shaking her head a bit as they ran.

“If you forgot, you fucking dumbass, toxins have no effect on me,” she said simply with a roll of her eyes. “And that includes Dioxis."

“He’s dropped by the Clover before. Saccha doesn’t like him, neither does Ajina. I don’t think Charlotte does either, but that’s besides the point,” she hummed, pulling the silver lighter out from her coat pocket. “The point is he’s acting different than he usually would. Keep an eye out.”

“Betcha Eval gets off to watching shit like this then!” she hummed as she moved out of the way of another deadly spike.

“Let’s get out of here, Embabe,” she hummed, making him chuckle a bit. “What? I don’t want to end up like Onca and Kiara, the boss wives wouldn’t like that very much and I have things to do back at my place!”

“You’re just acting weird is all,” she hummed, brushing a bit of dust off of her coat. “Hey, Embo. Welcome to the party.”

“But it’s only a fifty-fifty shot,” Sylv chimed in, “Let’s hope your gamble is correct, if not we’re throwing you through and hoping your body hits the switch instead.”

“I’m a bartender, I help people. I have things to do and would like to be out of here quickly. This entire thing is a waste of time.”

“As soon as his precious emperor is gone, Vader’s like a rabid dog without a leash."

"White Clover is open to anyone, Republic or Separatist, Senator or Clone. As long as you don't cause problems, I don't care," Sylv said casually, as if she hadn't just stabbed the spot between Obi-Wan's fingers with the massive knife she had been using to cut fruit. "This is my Bar, my rules. Deal with it."

"Yeah well, Morrak listens, you don't. Therefore, he's my favorite between the four of you here."

Emilia's below the cut because I love her

“Depends on how mad you all make me,” she mused. “But I know as soon as we’re in the clear, I’m taking a small break. Heading out to Germany to check on Kimberly’s husband and family.”

“But I've lost people under my care. It’s not a good feeling when so many wounded are pouring in. But I didn’t have time to stop, it was only after the fighting had ended that I could process it. Dazed and not totally there for me, I think I cried sometime in that time span."

“It’s not like we can do anything about it, though,” she told them, waving her hand in a dismissive gesture. “Big wigs decided it all. If you’re that cautious then come meet him when he lands.”

“Standing around, König?” Emilia asked, tone flat and as dry as the desert they were in.

Emilia looked back at the door, before shrugging. "Door's broken. Truck's broken. We're working on it."

"I used a dose of horse tranq because thats what it takes to get Grinch down. Don't tell Sandman."

"Look, I'm not even 141, I got my boys to take care of and some British SAS to hunt down, here's more tranq syringes, and now I'm leaving forever," Sturgeon huffed, handing Roach a case that was likely full of the said tranquilizers.

"Alright, I'm done here. Someone tell Nocte not to look for me if he needs something," Emilia said, handing her pack over to Seowoo "I'm walking into the woods and if I'm not back before nightfall, I have fallen into a quagmire and died. Goodbye."

"The 141 went where? Jesus, why am I not surprised that Price ended up in a Gulag... not our problem, though, Overlord just sent over new orders for us."

"I never pinned you for a coward, and yet here you are, crawling back to the people who thought you were dead because you ran away."

"Oh feel free to tell Nightingale about the bullet in your arm, just get ready to head back home because he will be removing that arm from your body. It's your choice."

"Pack it up, boys. Lee's taking us all to wafflehouse as soon as we're boots back on US soil. And I know Sandman hates wafflehouse."

"Some days, I wonder, if I should've asked those bastards to just shoot me in the skull instead of assuming I'd bleed out and die," Emilia sighed, setting her drink down as she sat. "Because watching this soap-opera? Worse than death."

"Hey, props to the 141 for being forced to watch all this shit up close, but that's as far as I'm gonna give it. Because if I see those two acting like lovesick puppies, I'm gonna take Ghost's balaclava and puke in it."

"Did I just give you the little blue pills with the imprints K 85 on them? Because if so, see you later space cowboy. Enjoy that nap.”

[rig-a-rendal]

guys im lowkey fucking freaking out rn i justsaw this SUPER fucked up true crime video about this girl who was in this sorority right back in the 1950s when everything was in black and white? and there were these three sorority sisters who looked freaky asf they wore like white lipstick and they had these big beehive hairdos??? they were like chewing gum and smoking fucking. Cigarettes. and they wore real tight skirts with the slit up the side and party pumps and real tight blouses and pointy bras and like. stuff would stick to them anyway that’s not important their names were donna sandra and laurie REAL TOUGH.

and they’d STAND THERE and SOME GUY would walk by and they’d go. holy shit guys it’s dso fucked up they’d be all like HEY BOB WHY DON’T YOU COME ON OVER LATER AND SEE US HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAH and they were really tough and really awful and then this theme music would play that was like DUN! DA DUN! DUN! DA DUN! and also in the sorority there was this weird girl irma munsen? she had like. big glasses real stringy hair really awful she carried her books like this ->. but she was also really smart! she could see around corners and stuff!!! she just had short hair and like. glasses and like pimples and she smelled like food and stuff and she was like. really weird and she had cooties 😔. also fun fact she wore her nylons backwards? which props to her cause that’s Really hard to do lmao.

anyway every time she appeared in the video you’d hear HER theme music you’d hear this:

DUN DUN. haaah chk chk. HEE HOO HA UH. DUN DUN. DUN DUN DUN DUN CAW! caw CAW caw WHEE HOO HA OO! so you knew there was something Not Quite Right with irma.

so everytime the girls would see irma they’d like Tease Her and Taunt Her and Push Her and Tie her to Trees and Give Her Ex-Lax™ - REAL mean to her! and poor irma would walk by and the girls would go LOOK AT YOUR CLOTHES IRMA YOU CANT EVEN GET A GUY!!!!!!! DUN! DA DUN DUN! DA DUN! and irma would say “leave me alone ive done nothing to you DUN DUN. DUN DUN DUN DUN CAW!”

and Every Day All The Time No Matter What. irma’d walk by and the girls would go “irma irma irma stupid ugly irma DUN! DA DUN! DUN! DA DUN HAHAHAHAAHHA!”. 

(hee hoo ha uh irma’s gonna go nuts)

so one day. irma’s walking along and it’s raining guys like it’s POURING and all you can hear are her shoes in the mud going SQULORCH SPLURCH SQUOLCH SQUELCH SHLORK dun dun. dun dun dun dun WHEE HOO HA UH and it’s pouring rain but the rain is stopping right here because it doesn’t want to touch her either 😭. and she’s walking and the girls are in the sorority house and theyve got the music up real loud and they’ve got guys over they’re smoking and drinking and waiting for her to come home and hear DUN! DA DUN! DUN! DA DUN! “””wElCoMe HoMe IrMa”””

whee hoo ha uh whee hoo ha uh DUN DUN. DUN DUN DUN DUN CAW. CAW CAW CAW wHEE HOO HA UH HERE COMES IRMA and the girls are dancing dun! da dun! and her glasses are cracked on one side so you KNOW she’s gonna go nuts real soon. and the three girls tell her to DANCE IRMA DANCE FOR US HAHAHAHA and she runs in her room and she gets a letter opener off of her desk! and she goes to the boys in the girls’ room! and the girls are dancing DUN! DA DUN!!! and irma’s walking DUN DUN. DUN DUN DUN DUN CAW. CAW CAW CAW WHEE HOO HA UH (b/c that’s how you walk when you’re gonna kill somebody) WHEE HOO HA UH and the GIRLS SEE HER AND THEY’RE LIKE OH MY GOD AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and she kills em all

[wonderousbeast]

Riptide ep #94 spoilers!!!

If You Give a Fish a Family

There once was a fish born on a very special day.

The day was so special, his family gave him away.

He was taken to a palace, but it didn't feel like home.

Though everyone there said they loved him, he still felt alone

The big fish of the palace said,

"You must become strong! We fish don't like people, because they are always wrong."

The big fish brought a target and said,

"You'll be family if you hit this"

So the fish tried everyday, but he always seemed to miss.

Then one day the little fish made a big mistake, and the big fish of the palace kicked him out of the lake

The fish was alone on the shore, sad and beached.

When suddenly out of the sky, a fleshy hand reached!

The fish saw two people, with no fins or tails, on a big brown floating thing, hollow and with sails.

The fish was worried.

"Is this hell? Did i do a big sin?"

The two laughed,

"No, we're pirates! This is our crew. And you're in"

They saved a lot of people and committed violent crime.

But because they were together, they had a real good time.

They met a dude, Duke D Dukem of Duke, and a plant with kind eyes that gave them a spook!

They made a new friend, a horse from a puddle, that the little boy rode and then they became buddles!

They even met a goobleck, who mostly said,

"Hee Hoo!"

He absorbed 100 people, but then pressed undo.

(↑ unsure how this got in the book???? Its got purple gunk all over it)

But one day, the man said,

"I have a confession fish. I lied."

The fish felt so betrayed, he decided the man would die.

The next day, the woman's father came and had a real big frown.

He said,

"You are a dumb baby loser, and you've let this family down."

The woman said,

"You're right papa."

And so she shot the fish, but before the fish died it said,

"Is that really your wish?"

The woman said,

"Wait no! I wanna be friends with you!"

The man chimed in,

"Im sorry for lying, me too!"

Their crew was back together, and finally free!

Then the fish saw another target, if he hit it, he'd be family!

The fish thought of his journey, god, and his friends.

The fish took one big swing

And the fish,

Missed again.

The fish looked sad, packed his things, and said,

"Well, I guess this is it"

But the two stopped him and said,

"But you're already family! Family fucks up shit!"

The End. <3