#that are also kinda gay at the same time. im just in the right mindset tbh

[crushedsweets]

I loved the ask about ticciwork what it would be like if they were able to date! Now I was wondering what that would be like with Jack and Toby!

Though I’m not sure if they have the same chemistry as ticciwork. 😭

Btw you have forever engraved ninakate to my soul LMAO I love them so much!! ❤️

I ABSOLUTELY CAN i think theyre super cute + i have a really sweet ticcijack ask i wanna draw soon. im gonna go off on a tangent about their upbringing and how that'd impact their sexuality tho, cuz i think that'd be relevant .

this was written more like notes for a one-shot of them getting together, rather than the format i did for ticciwork

ok. so for starters, toby has a huge wall to get over. i dont really have sexuality hcs for many of the creeps (jane and kate r lesbians, lius a gay man, ninas bi are my only concrete hcs) BUT i know toby's upbringing involved his dad constantly demeaning him for being 'feminine' (anytime he did something with lyra), a pussy, calling him slurs, telling him to man up, insulting any gay man he might see on tv, etc. and toby hates his dad, so he'd have an easy time being like 'ok whatever old man like i give a shit if a guy fucks a guy' BUT he would still feel a ton of guilt and shame if he were attracted to a guy.

jack might be a little similar, not because his dad was constantly berating him, but he still grew up in a pretty traditional house and his uncles/cousins would often tease him cuz he liked to cook and bake and had a lot of empathy. but he also went to university, and while it was still in alabama, a lot of colleges and stuff are a lot more progressive so it wasn't something he dwelled on much. live and let live, basically

AND AS A RESULT, it would be MUCH harder for either of them to make a move. toby would push any feelings down so fucking fast, and jack would just shrug it off and say he doesn't have like.. the "right" to have such emotions. after all he's done.

but they've also had a ton of intimate moments. the amount of times toby's been sat in his boxers while jack has to stitch up his stomach is kinda obnoxious. the amount of times jack checks toby's temperature and scolds him for dumb shit. toby scoffing and grabbing jacks wrist to pull his hand off, but his touch lingers

jack wears his mask a lot, but toby would make a comment. "i wanna see what you look like. it cant be THAT bad." and then jacks like ? asshole. so toby backtracks and is like "ok but if it is bad, thats kinda cool" and jacks like 'dude shut up'. but then toby would try and go on about 'im serious man you're over here stitching me up every other week and im practically the only person you talk to. let me see' and jack thinks about it. maybe not that day, but eventually he would.

if toby has already kinda come to terms with liking guys, OR he's so oblivious to his own feelings, he might say something stupid like "oh shit you're hot dude why do u wear that stupid ass mask" and jack would get embarrassed. and try to put it back on, but toby would snatch it and toss it on some counter and say "ok well now i know so stop wearing it" and jacks like. ok. fuck you. fine.

and toby stares a lot. like. a lot a lot. and jack kind of knows. the echolocation and thermavision helps him know toby's head is turned his way, but he can't exactly pinpoint where toby's eyes are. but he keeps turning away

toby would eventually just ask 'you gotta know im looking at you , right?' and jack is like ...well i thought so. thanks for confirmation. and toby laughs it off but jack is getting embarrassed

jacks feelings would develop slowly and he'd recognize every single moment he feels something. tobys would develop more rapidly, but he has no fucking idea what he's feeling is romantic. he thinks jacks attractive as fuck, he likes intelligent people, he likes how jack challenges tobys toxic ass mindset (only after the fact, hates it in the moment), and jack does a lot for him. patches him up, cooks him good meals.

the ask i mentioned said something about jack touching toby's lip and toby keeps looking at jacks lips and theres crazy tension etc etc etc. i genuinely dont know who would kiss who first.

if it were jack, toby would sit there kinda stunned, and jack would pull away and fumble out an apology. then toby tells him to do it again. and again, and again.

if it were toby, jack would immediately kiss back. he's had it on his mind for a long time, but genuinely didnt think anything would come.

toby would ask what now. he wants jack to set some sort of guidelines. he hates rules but holy shit does he not know how to navigate this, not with jack. jack would shrug it off and theyd try not to talk about it. toby might not come back to see jack for a while, but end up really hurt and dragged there to get his arm popped back into place. and jack would have to ask why he stopped visiting.

toby would admit it, finally. something about 'because i fucking like you and its really fucking weird and i dont wanna ruin the whole medic patient pal thing we got going on but this entire fucking time ive been avoiding you, im thinking about you a hundred times more'. and jack would ask why he thinks its weird. and theyd talk for a while

jack would ask toby if he could kiss him again, and toby would say yes.

[maoam]

im kinda mad at kishi for like,,,, making such a big plot on narusasu but in the end,, having them end up with other ppl? its so unsettling like it how someone can write 700+ chap about gay angst & longing/pining only for them to not end up with eo

I mean I never expected them to end up with each other officially because it’s both Japan and on top of that SJ, a conservative country and a conservative industry. While American homophobia is often based on religious beliefs, or just “different = wrong”, Japanese homophobia frequently stems from sociocultural pressure to get married and have kids. It’s seen as a way to honor your parents and your ancestors. Choosing a “gay life style” can be seen as selfish and disrespectful to your parents and going against the whole society. While this is not the case for everyone many gay people in Japan get married to the opposite sex and have kids to conform to society’s expectations.

With this in mind, a lot of media is of course influenced by the general mindset and politics, SJ as well. SJ also targets boys. Japanese male fans of shonen don’t like gay any more than the ones in the USA. Hell, a lot of fujoshi don’t want the characters to be actually gay, they only like it in fantasy.

Editors are working together with the mangaka, and they also care a lot about mass appeal, what sells. Did you know Kishimoto talked about a “new perv jutsu” 5 years before reverse harem jutsu appeared in the manga?

So yeah this is the one that was so “controversial” that it took 5 years to get it in... Of course Jiraiya and other cliche perverts in shonen are totally okay even when peeping on women and being creeps, but creating an illusion of a harem of naked men is just too much. Also just like in the West, there are also parents who don’t want material that they see as inappropriative for their kids to read.

A few years ago there was talk about Isayama commenting on one of his friend’s manga that had one gay subplot (as in, it wasn’t a gay manga, but had a gay romance plot line) and Isayama mentioned on his personal blog that he thinks he might like BL. To this his friend responded; “Thank you so much! It seems like I was unintentionally able to invite Isayama-san to the world of BL so I got some strange courage!” Sooo mysteriously said manga got axed right after the BL subplot hmmm I wonder what was the reason 😶  People also said Isayama was being “gross”. Same way when Isayama made a comment about questioning whether Levi likes women at all, it pissed people off, or when Reiner and Ymir made their comments about not liking the opposite sex.

So it also reflects negatively on the authors. People question why do you want to show such degenerate things especially in a neutral or positive light. Like I mentioned earlier I saw even naruto threads discussing about it, saw people calling Naruto a psycho bisexual or that his obsession with Sasuke makes them uncomfortable, or asking why does he have to be so homosexual. At the same time, I saw one comment saying if this was another world maybe Naruto could be the hero, the president and also have his husband as the adjudant. So there are open-minded people too, even if the most loud ones are the homophobic ones, or people who try to avoid the discussion alltogether.

So as you can see there are many reasons. Kishimoto’s own fixation with N.S. is amusing though, aside from his favorite panel being the usuratonkachi one from 698, he wrote the disaster that is Gaiden where Sasuke looks absolutely miserable when asked to draw something for SS, but wrote Boruto movie where Sasuke looks actually happy with Naruto and Boruto and also helps fixing the relationship between the two. Naruto even wonders which one does Boruto resemble more lol. But SJ wants to milk the series with the next gen sooo this is what we got.

[faemytho]

lust sans belongs in the bad gays group and here's three reasons why (with evidence) ((NOT CLICKBAIT))

ok i lied about the evidence but listen. i have thoughts and feelings about this and you all get to be dragged along. this is a long post.

DISCLAIMER: THESE ARE HEADCANONS. i do base many of my headcanons off of their canons, but i am not proclaiming anything to be canon or not since none of these characters belong to me; i am just having fun with them.

1.) lust is an outcast among the multiverse sanses - this is due to a cultural underlust thing, NOT a "sexual purity" thing because we do Not stan that here

the story of underlust is one of underpopulation and a continuous aphrodisiac heat curse. due to this, i'd bet MONEY that the underlust culture is wildly different than any of the other AUs. we're talking more solitary lives (less people around; more people alone, leads to loneliness and the NEED to be around someone, not even counting the heat curse), we're talking frequent hookups on the spot being considered normal, we're talking people who probably have very different ways to interpret social cues - aka, interpreting implied consent (which is a real thing and a huge problem in some places).

and i bet u that because of this, lust ACCIDENTALLY comes onto a lot of his alternate selves without realizing because his culture is so so different than theirs.

he's avoided because of this. he's an outcast. he makes them uncomfortable, even though he doesn't try to. he knows they're uncomfortable around him, but he doesn't know how to fix it.

this is where nightmare comes in.

2.) nightmare takes in those who are shunned (like he was), and lust is no exception.

for fucks sake y'all, his freaking NAME is "lust". i bet you he didn't even pick it out - could you imagine being named after something so normal in your culture, something you had no control over, just because it's not like that in other cultures? that'd be like naming horror "cannibalism".

imo, him getting named "lust" was literally just another way to shun and isolate him from the other multiversal sanses.

and nightmare knows what it's like to be shunned by everyone around you for something you can't control. big headcanon is that that's the reason why he takes in so many of the "bad" sanses in the first place.

3.) he would 100% fit right in

"how the fuck would sexy man fit in with the murderers??" well i will tell you one thing they have nothing to do with each other so you can put your poor little sexual purity mindset to rest and also get it out of here bc again we do not vibe with that

let me lay it out for you

horror comes from an AU where resources are dwindling. food is scarce, people are succumbing to cannibalism madness, it's messy and horrible and the culture of horrortale is a lot different than any other AU. horror would definitely understand lust's situation the most - he's shunned for similar reasons.

cross comes from an AU where he's one of many royal guards. im sure u all keep up with xtale and underverse, but lets say that in this, the events of underverse never happened after X. he's not so much culturally different as he is traumatized - he just lost his whole family and his entire AU, he's forcibly joined to a vengeance seeking spirit who he thinks is power-hungry and insane (xchara), and after X and before meeting Ink, he's practically hopeless. a perfect magnet for nightmare to find him. nightmare offers him safety and peace, and cross, tired of it all, agrees. the x-event never comes to pass. ((i'm laying all this out because i often see cross included in the bad squad with no explanation @ underverse, so this is how i figure it goes - underverse just never happens in these timelines))

ANYWAYS cross is traumatized, and though i think he and lust would be rocky at first, they'd eventually get along and understand each other; they'd just need some time to do that.

dust is from a timeline where chara commits genocide run after genocide run, and dust is driven to kill everyone in an attempt to beat chara - this leaves him in an empty world with a guilt formed hallucination of his brother. he is Also traumatized. i feel like he and lust would get along; the lack of feeling like there was any other choice is probably a huge thing that helps them connect.

killer is from a timeline similar to dust's, except instead of fighting against chara, killer joins chara after what are probably years of them resetting and asking him to join them. killer is traumatized, he's a bit not right in the head, but with chara out of the way and him with nightmare, i feel like he's pretty chill, a lot like his old self. i feel like he'd see lust and they'd honestly be best friends - they both have the same sort of laid back attitude. they'd fit like puzzle pieces.

error is a quirky, stupid little man baby with way too much power. nightmare didn't take him in; error just showed up one day and the bad gays simply got used to him showing up - i bet there was at least one point where error showed up, killer proclaimed that cross had gotten error "some of that chocolate shit he likes" and error immediately bolted to cross and held out his hands (and yeah, cross did get extra just for the next time error showed up). i think error and lust would honestly clash the most, what with lust's culture being "overly touchy" and error's blatant fear of touch. once lust realizes he can't do that kinda stuff with error though, they'd definitely be able to get along. lust probably bribes error with gifts and shit.

and finally, nightmare. i feel like they'd get along from the start; lust has a penchant for dramatics and nightmare's open to new ideas. lust and nightmare bonding over being absolute queens is something i will never let go of.

im saying that because they're all outcasts, they all figure they better stick together, and lust would fit right in with them.

then they help lust pick out a different name for himself and they all decide on "hearts" for him and then they all Kiss

[theunconcernedembalmer]

what’s the issue with elisop? is it just bc you hc aesop as ace? im so concerned by seeing ppl adamantly opposed to mlm/wlw ships but im also genuinely curious about why you dislike it and other lgbt ships so much lol

hmm. that is a strong accusation, n i find it just a bit odd. are you new here? or perhaps you are taking personal offense at my dislike towards a favourite ship of yours and using the lgbt argument as moral high ground?

whatever the case may be, i thank you for asking. if u r truly looking for an answer, its below the cut n it is very very long. mind u these are all my personal opinions n i am in no way policing how others enjoy ships. just in case this wasnt clear; i dont wish to start discourse on this blog, especially since my takes are probably... unpopular.

firstly i would like to address the “disliking lgbt ships” bit, because this has very strong implications in itself. i have nothing against lgbt ships. i enjoy them, even. if the two characters have chemistry between each other, i ship it. however, the moment characterization is broken for the sake of romance, i lose interest. this is generally my stance on ships in general, n this applies for both straight n lgbt ships. 

the ships themselves are fine. however, i do have issues with the ship dynamics, so ill let u in on that.

i want to touch on mlm ships in particular; i believe u are familiar with the top/bottom dynamic that is rampant in these kinds of ships? (i wont deny that this dynamic can be found in other types of ships, but for arguments sake i will be focusing on gay ships because i feel that this occurs more commonly here) its such a popular dynamic that is prone to stripping the personality from one if not both characters, only for them to be reduced to being dominant/submissive. for a character to be pigeonholed into a stereotypical category based on... preferred sexual positions? its just downright insulting, never mind the larger more problematic implications of it. top/bottom is not indicative of someones personality, by the way. flattening multi dimensional characters into these stereotypes is so so so insulting.

unfortunately this is The Most Popular portrayal of just about any gay ship around. ive seen it being used everywhere in so many fandoms n it just about becomes apparent to me that ppl come to stories looking for a Ship. not the stories, nor the characters, just a ship. while id like to say theres nothing wrong with that, keep in mind not everyone is just looking for 2 characters that look pretty next to each other. if i ship something, i see interesting n meaningful interactions between 2 characters, which is so often not the case once u bring in the top/bottom dynamic. why is it so popular? because somehow this is what ppl like from a gay ship n hence it sells. ppl want the drama, characterizations be damned. ppl want to see the big kiss that happens in the end, n maybe the sexy parts that come after. characterizations be damned.

so u can say im a little wary of gay ships when they cross my feed. hell, as a joseph aesop shipper i see this trope everywhere n im pretty disappointed as well. small tangent but i feel like this is the reason why zh0ngli n ch1lde is so popular in g3nshin. i try to see the appeal, i really do, but after a long while of analyzing their respective characters i dont think they have as much chemistry as ppl think they do. dont even get me started on how incredibly ooc they make either of these very interesting n unique characters in ship portrayals. all because of the top/bottom dynamic that ppl want to see. i say this for that particular ship, but this is pretty much the case for a lot of ships out there, n the latter part is painfully true even when the 2 characters do have potential between each other. ill say it again im disgusted by the blatant disrespect to the characterizations if all ppl ever want is 2 pretty puppets to mush lips together. cos thats what theyre essentially reduced to this way.

n its so obvious to see when an artist subscribes to this rhetoric, because u can so clearly see it in the way they draw their characters. the “top” generally has sharper features to go with their “dominating personality”, while the “bottom” has disturbingly softer, feminine, dare i say sometimes child like features “to submit”. n thats where the uwu soft gay trope comes from, i believe. which, in case u still dont know, i hate with a burning passion.

so again for ppl with impaired reading comprehension, im fine with ships, including lgbt ones, but the moment u break characterization for the sake of the ship, im not that okay with it. u want to do it for a short crack comic? fine. but if thats the only way ur portraying the 2 characters then im immediately wary of ur content. ill still look at it cos usually the art is really good, but im very very wary. so im not “adamantly opposed”, just very critical of how the ships are being portrayed. if other ppl want to enjoy their ships like that, sure. just dont expect me to join in on something i dont agree on.

.

now id like to address not shipping “because i hc aesop as ace”. for ppl who are new to the blog (hello there), im an ace in a romantic relationship, so thats definitely not the reason i dont ship elisop. its more of being in a relationship has largely shaped my views towards romance as a whole. even before i met my boyfriend, i hated the romance genre in stories n media. most of it comes off as incredibly forced, especially those love triangles they seem to love putting into teen novels. thats one reason why i stopped reading when i was younger, but i digress.

did i partake in shipping when i was younger? i did. for a gay ship too (if anyone really wants to know, its kurotsukki from haikyuu. at least this was one that i can remember, i was mostly working on my 20 odd ocs for the longest time). i also used to write little short romance ficlets that i never posted anywhere cos i hated (n still do hate) my writing. but writing romance when u dont have experience was really just a way of projecting n probably a way of coping for myself, not that i knew at that time. but after i actually started a relationship with my boyfriend (whom i love n cherish a lot thank u very much), i began to see how much all these have skewed my views towards romance n have actually done some harm to our relationship. the bullshit that the general media feeds u constantly doesnt help in the slightest either.

quick topic shift to elisop in particular (about time, right?). i already stated that i only ship characters if i sense chemistry between the two personalities, n if u have seen the part where i dont ship elisop then u must have seen how agonized i am over not being able to have a concrete personality for eli. that is the main problem i have with elisop: eli does not feel like a solid character to me. n that is a huge problem, because if he doesnt have any defining characteristics besides being mild n nice, then he can be whoever i want him to be. (i have done this in my exorcist comics, i will admit this. n the fact that i can just do that... it really does not sit well with me personally.)

n that is dangerous.

back to young me doing lil ship things. i think its also pretty safe to say when u really do ship 2 characters, chances are u kinda really relate very very hard to at least one of them. that very quickly can turn into projecting, n shipping therefore is not “exploring the relationship between 2 characters” n it becomes “my preferred dating simulator 101″. of course this isnt always the case, but at least it was for me, n subconsciously it might be for lots of ppl too. n since this is ur mental playground, u call the shots, n there is no consequences if u slightly (or even entirely) alter one or both personalities to fit ur desired narrative. n u wouldnt even notice or know, cos ur blind to ur own biasness.

we bring our perceived notions into real life, im sure u know that. so when ur partner does not become that perfect knight in shining armour, or when they get upset at things that u do (which is a very normal thing by the way), n u think (very subconsciously), That isnt what my otp would do, something is wrong here (nothing is wrong, actually its just ur skewed perception of a stable romantic relationship). why wouldnt ur otp do this? because u are both halves of ur otps, there is no hidden secrets between them (apart from the pining part but thats irrelevant), n again they have been altered to fit ur preferred narrative. 

a real relationship requires a lot of communication between parties, because newsflash, liking someone doesnt mean that u have to like every single thing they do, they will make mistakes n it will hurt u, n guess what, the reverse is also true. if u do go with absoutely anything that they would do with 0 objections whatsoever, ur not crushing on someone, ur idolizing them, n that power imbalance is detrimental to a relationship. these things are not obvious to ppl, especially when the whole climate is hell bent on getting into romantic relationships by a certain age or some bullshit. communication is key n is pretty much the only way to solve relationship issues, because the other person has a lot that u r not seeing n vice versa. as similar as 2 ppl can be, i doubt u can have 100% the same thoughts on all things. i dont make the rules.

so in ur mental playground u focus on the fluffy parts, maybe there is communication, but rarely is there any meaningful conflict. thats unrealistic, n if u bring that mindset to an actual relationship, thats not going to end well. i say meaningful conflict, because yes, generally u shouldnt have conflicts with ur significant other. but inevitably when ur with each other for long enough, u will realize that there are habits that u must change in order to be with the other person. habits that are harmful to the other person directly, or harmful habits towards yourself that indirectly harm the other person. these are meaningful in a sense that if left alone, it will manifest into larger problems that will harm u, the other person n the relationship as a whole. its meaningful to the relationship.

all these is made even worse if ur neurodivergent. maladaptive coping practices, self sabotaging behaviours, inherent disabilities. all these must be adjusted n addressed. im so incredibly thankful for my boyfriend for being incredibly patient with me when working all these out, n it has not been easy for me to work on myself n all my problems, n im still not done working on them. this aspect is often not explored in romance in general (or properly), n there is a very good chance i would have still been stuck in the unhealthy mindset of “this isnt like my otp, maybe we’re not meant to be”. because loving someone is a choice. no one is made for each other, it is a conscious choice made between 2 ppl to make things work. this is how arranged marriages work, i am told, n i do see the appeal, not that it actually does appeal to me culturally.

special mention to the kurotsukki ship, cos from there i found a very, very good fic that explored their relationship before n after getting together, n it actually showed aspects of this problem in the incredibly slow burn of (at that time) 20+ chapters. it was just one fic (n a very good one at that, i believe it was called Leviticus), but it had a lesson i never thought i needed to learn, n learn it i did, with a lot of help from my dear. 

this is also probably the reason why i dont really want to delve too much into romance now. i know its a lot of work, n everything (mostly) that the media feeds u is really false advertising, but ppl eat that shit up n so it remains one of the most popular genres to date. im just very wary that if i do start on a romantic story, i want to be able to show it in a way like that fic did, the truths of relationships, because i dont want to make something that sells, i want to make something that meaningful to me, if a little indulgent. n that also includes being very careful in how the respective characterizations will change in a relationship. almost too careful now that i think about it, but its not something that i mind. i was never one for romance from the start, n now im very careful about shipping because of what happened to me persoanlly.

okay enough about me, lets talk about aesop. in any au u put the character in, the essence of the character must remain despite the change in environment. so lets say we have ur typical modern au. dead mom, check. shitty mentor doing illegal stuff? also check. autistic boy with social anxiety? we’re good to go. all these have implications on aesop as a character, n while ppl are aware of this, again the way they go about portraying it can go, in my personal opinion, very wrong. ppl who immediately woobify aesop completely because he has autism annoy me. ppl who reduce him to uwu soft boi cos he has social anxiety do not know how the disorder really works n as someone who has that i hate it to the core. ppl who do all these for the sake of ship have lost my respect. its insulting.

remember the top/bottom dynamic? not that elisop is completely free from that (even if i dont know much about eli, to put him in either one of those stereotypes feels very insulting to his character. i wont even say anything about doing it to aesop its so upsetting), but its not entirely made up of either. but now i want to introduce another trope i am very wary of, which is “i can fix him”. im sure u guys have seen the meme going around poking fun at this trope (for those who havent, its along the lines of “u can fix him? well i can be his worst nightmare”) n no doubt yall would have seen it n gotten sick of it in some forced hetero romantic bullshit. we have one damsel in distress with a saviour that solves all their problems just by existing n being romo with each other.

remember “my preferred dating simulator 101″? this is not mutually exclusive n from my point of view this is dangerously close to this trope. lets be real, if it was actually a thing that all ur deep rooted trauma magically disappears if someone were to waltz into ur life, we would want it. definitely. no painfully dissecting ur own problems n constantly facing them head on. real life states that this is not the case, but it will not stop us from dreaming. n so this trope is born n lives n will go on.

(finally) pulling aesop n eli into this, at least in my mind, u have one severely traumatized boy with lots of issues n u have this. nice mild guy who can be anything u want him to be. i hope u can see where im going with this, n thats the direction i see some elisop heading towards (i dont read a lot of elisop to be fair). if u came from my eli character talk, i mentioned that it is incredibly one sided. this is exactly what im talking about.

putting it all together in case u havent already, aesop is the damsel in distress, whose problems magically disappear because of elis godly kindness n little to no work on improving himself, n they lived happily n gayly ever after.

can u tell how much that does not appeal to me. 

never mind the butchering of character that inevitably happens somewhere somehow, the unrealistically perfect themes n implications of this trope makes me so viscerally uncomfortable. this is, of course, due to personal reasons, n i definitely see the appeal of this dynamic because i would probably have been interested in this once upon a time as well. but as i am now, with everything i have explained up there n everything i have been through, i would politely rather not.

n its difficult to think of another dynamic, because of how little i know about eli apart from him being this saint, which easily makes him a candidate for being aesops trauma panacea. never mind aesop rarely, if ever, does anything for eli as a character in return, n its so damaging to buy into this rhetoric, where a person like this who would solve all ur issues no strings attached exists somewhere in the world. they really dont. a relationship has to be mutually benefitting, or it will be draining n disastrous. maybe u say, Oh its nice to imagine it once in a while. n yeah, i agree, except once in a while is a little difficult to keep track of n that is sort of what happened to me. id rather stay as far away as possible from this kind of unrealistic fantasy, i just got this shit sorted out with myself n my boyfriend.

i have some other reasons, but theyre more personally problematic, so i wont go into them here. but this is mostly n generally why i do not ship elisop romantically. if u do, u do u, and have fun, but again dont expect me to join u. thank u for coming to my ted talk, this took a lot longer than expected.

[conservativetranny]

2020 blog update

Hello. No idea if any of you ‘remember’ me but I do seem to have a fair few followers on here. I managed to access the login information for this account and it is safe to say this blog is dead. I denounce everything I stood for on this stupid shit. 

I’m writing this because it’s what the blog deserves. Not looking to be dramatic, not looking for sympathy, in fact I think i’ll get a bit of backlash for this but bring it on. 

The past and the present- a summary

I had this blog when I was 14, unfortunately way too young to have a social media presence (one which carried any responsibility like this one anyway). No matter what age I said I was, no matter how I portrayed myself or how you, my followers interpreted me, I was a sad young trans guy desperately hoping to look big, cool, masculine and stoic, and that manifested in the most toxic way possible. 

I’m 17 now, still very very young, and after developments in my life, especially pursuing my medical transition and becoming happy within myself, I no longer hold such toxic beliefs as I once did. I am happier with myself and no longer feel the need to sacrifice others’ dignity, respect, and unfortunately sometimes on this blog, privacy, for my own. I was a very insecure, stubborn, and ignorant teenager, who dealt with a lot of denial. I’m not blaming the way I treated people online on other factors, but of course external factors came into play. I was dealing with bullying and insecurity, with parental problems, and with loneliness and depression. I seeked some sort of community, and I wanted to push myself away from the ‘weak’ trans community (the way I viewed it at the time). I wasn’t in denial personally, with the fact that I was trans (being gay is a different story- I was in complete denial with the fact that I’m gay), more just with the way other people viewed me (I will expand on this). I could elaborate on the way in which I viewed other people and the way that projected onto my conduction online, but it is a complex and confusing story. I have completely changed my viewpoint on trans ‘discourse’, I am open minded, I am close friends with people I would have turned my ignorant nose up at years ago. I am so proud to say that I am a completely different person now. I grow every day, it seems, and I can assure that I will never return to this ignorant mindset.

Growth

With experience, I have grown too. Obviously, from 14-17 i have become more mature. I have different experiences now as well, for example, I don’t bind often at all really anymore, because its more comfortable and can sometimes make me more dysphoric to know I am binding. I’m bringing this up because I bet you back when I was active on this blog, I would’ve laughed at the more mature, tolerant me, and probably went on a tyrade about how I was a fake trans guy or less of a man for not binding. I often wonder what ‘old me’ would think of ‘new me’. Now obviously, three years isn’t a hell of a big difference, but to a 17 come 18 year old it is. I understand I am not an adult yet, but I’ve always taken pride in conducting myself with a sense of maturity and articulacy, and for this post and platform especially I feel it is appropriate.

The Truscum Mindset

Back when I ran this blog, I was in an echo chamber of like minded people, which didn’t help my ideological development. I watched youtubers like Blaire White and Kalvin Garrah, who I thought gave me a balanced, moderate, and fair opinion which is clear is not the case. Back then I would’ve scoffed at the idea of Blaire and Kalvin and other similar people as being radical or a gateway, but I urge you, if you feel you are slipping to obsession with those ideologies, to seek to widen your opinions and associations. I understand it’s a fairly niche discourse topic, but for me it opened a wider rabbit hole into the alt right. From wanting to fit into the lgbt and wider communities as a masculine male, this opened up the black hole of the alt right, I browsed (now deleted) subreddits and 4chan boards, and forums that put me in a very negative and dangerous place. If you’d like me to make a post elaborating on this, I am more than happy to, but this post is to address conservativetranny.

Denial and owning up to responsibility

Back in 2017/18, I was very much in denial of certain aspects of myself, especially my sexuality. I am gay. I thought that this was, and especially as a trans guy, a demasculating quality. I still deal with those feelings sometimes, as a lot of young gay guys do, but thankfully it does not manifest itself as toxic as it once did. I just wanted to portray myself online as how I thought I wanted to be viewed-I didn’t want to be viewed like ‘any other trans guy’. I wanted to be different, but now I can appreciate individuality and I can also embrace being trans as well.

I used to think that having alt views was the coolest thing ever, which contributed to my slip into the alt right, something on which I’ll elaborate on in later posts. I am now an advocate for deradicalisation, and being rational, truly rational. I’m also an advocate for maturity and owning up to your mistakes.

I have hurt people, especially in my personal life, throughout my time as a stupid, thoughtless immature teenager and i am sorry, from the bottom of my heart, for that. I now respect the hell out of those people and unfortunately, but definitely rightfully so, they have lost their respect for me. I don’t blame them, because as I said, up until very recently I was a horrible, toxic person. With maturity, in the past half a year I have been able to own up to my mistakes and I am now taking responsibility for that. No excuses, because I was a shitty person. Of course there is a line between excuses and justification, and I hope those which are reading this can distinguish and appreciate this difference.

Self Hatred and Truscum

Back when I ran this blog, it was very easy to tell I was self hating. Everything I wrote on here, pretty much, was hateful except for the odd two posts that were about something unrelated to my ideology. I was extremely dysphoric and in a bad place when I wrote these things and certainly projected my insecurities onto others. I wanted to find a community of different thinking people that would accept me, and this community was certainly the wrong turn. I had a feeling that it was wrong at the time, but I was too naive and cowardly to own up to it and seek a way out. I kind of just naturally fell out of it, a a lot of things happened in my personal life in late 2018 that forced me out of trans discourse and into much more toxic places like the alt right and true crime fandoms, and I think I’ve only recently ‘found myself’ in the past year or so. I might make a post on self growth on the future as I intend to keep this blog to elaborate and voice my opinions on deradicalisation and highlight the importance of owning up and self awareness.

Don’t fall into the rabbithole

I’m not too acquainted with trans discourse anymore, so I’m out of the loop on this one, but I’d imagine that there’s still ‘transmed vs tucute’ ideas. Kalvin Garrah’s community comes to mind, I haven’t watched his videos ‘as a fan’, if that makes sense, for a while now but I am aware he has a large fanbase of young trans teens that were in a similar mindset to where I was back when I ran this blog. I would love for this post to reach his opposers and supporters for that matter, as a means to show them that they don’t have to fall into this cycle of hate which can be very damaging. I used to be an avid fan of Kalvin, and Blaire White, amongst others. I watched exclusively their content alone and formed my opinions around theirs. If you’re doing that now, I urge you to consider other people when you do. Think about the people like Brennan Beckwith, people who were severely impacted and hurt by hateful rhetoric. Those people are human too, and with maturity you will learn that people with different experiences and views are, at the end of the day, the same as you, and they have feelings as well .I’m going to make a post in the future about Kalvin Garrah, certainly, but maybe Blaire White as well.

Why now?

You may be wondering why this post is being made now of all times, and that is a question that has every right to be asked. I feel as if this timing is right because I finally possess the level of maturity needed to own up to my mistakes and tell you that I was wrong and it was certainly wrong to post those opinions and mistakes online for all to see, and put people in my real life on blast like I did.

I had completely forgotten about this blog, and forgot about the rude and ignorant words I had written towards the people in my real life, until chance had it that I was in contact with one of the people mentioned in this post. [https://conservativetranny.tumblr.com/post/169351517511/no-one-pretends-to-be-trans]

I’m not going to go into the nuances of the conversation we had, but it turns out they had, for a while and definitely rightfully so been hurt by the fact that I had mentioned them, by name, in this post. And while I’d of course still like to keep these people anonymous and will not sacrifice their anonymity in order to tell a story or ‘save myself’, this post is quite funny to read back on as I am good friends with the people referred to as ‘P’ and ‘Shadow’ now.

This is the end of this post, as I feel I have said everything I have wanted to say regarding my previous conduct on this blog. I’m going to change my name on this blog and my bio as I do intend on further posts in the future. I’m not sure how many people, if any, this post will reach, but I’m satisfied I have written this anyway. I certainly do plan on writing future posts but I’m not exactly sure how to formulate them. But thank you so much for reading this far, and if you have, I appreciate it.

[lili2809]

well i appreciate your response and your feelings, but all im gonna say is no, trauma doesn’t ”excuse” anything and what sander did was awful, nobody is disagreeing on that. what trauma can do, however, is make people act irrationally and do whatever they can to cope. i am 100% sure that sander did not purposefully want to hurt robbe and cause him pain (even though, again, that’s what he did) but was acting out of some unknown reason that i truly think & hope will make us understand his mindset

(still the same anon) i just want to make clear that i also think wtfock is making this season unnecessarily bleak for skam. the og was always an occasionally sad but ultimately warm, subtle show about personal tragedies that reflect bigger issues, rather than the broad strokes wtfock is using right now. i just find it kinda sad that sander is being so aggressively attacked now, after doing something gross after he was beaten for being gay, when robbe literally called him a slur last week.

I included everything in one to make it easier. Lmao don't you worry I was just as harsh with robbe and I got comments very similar to yours about that situation.

I just can't root for their relationship anymore personally. I think it's even a bit dangerous to portray that knowing they're gonna end up together, honestly. Because what kind of message does that send? "well, they were cruel to you, called you a slur and accused you of taking advantage of them and barely apologized but forgive them because they love you and were going through a hard time." "they went back to their ex, (if he ever broke up with her at all) à couple hours after telling you they loved you, and is posting about it all over sm with seemingly no care in the world if you're gonna find it or not, and if it's gonna break your heart but forgive them because they were going through a hard time and love you" also you saying sander doesn't want to hurt robbe, I'm not saying he does, but he clearly doesn't seem to care much anyway since he's literally posting about it everywhere.

I mean Idk, to be fair wtfock might pull an amazing reason out of their sleeve that'll make me change my mind. But I'm pretty sure I won't. Some things are just too much for me. Maybe that makes unforgiving, and maybe I'm wrong, but if I were either robbe or sander in both these situations I wouldn't forgive the person..

And I don't think it's a good idea to forgive someone who's supposed to love you but has so little problem doing that kind of stuff. But of course that's just my opinion. Anyway thank you for your message, and I swear I'm not trying to be an ass, but I'm just really tired of that shit.

[hiraethstill]

THIS WEEK ON DAIYA NO ACE (8/6)

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!

LIVEBLOG:

YEETS IVE BEEN W AITING FOR INTRASQUAD GAME

yess mimura and kawashima get a moment to shine

LMAO i love asou

also his hair is super cool

hell YEAH there are some great first years

omg the second and third years look like a mafia/gang

MY BABIES ASADA AND KUKI

lmao mogami really out here

natsukawa i love you

TAKU WHATS WITH YOUR CHEEKY GRIN LMAO

ah nvm thats why heh

its kinda strange to see taku wearing the white cap

CHILD I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

kuki starting!!!!!!!!!!!

and asada wishing his bf good luck

LMAO kuki why you gotta be all dramatic with your "okumura koushuu"

A WHOLEASS S O N

skldjg why'd yall have to prolong the shot of yui holding a hand in front of masashi like he's holding him back

ooh kagami another son

asahi... will have to remember that name

A

AS

ASADA CALLING KUKI KUKI-KUN IM NO T OK A Y

IM NOT o K         A            Y

aww asada bby youll gain confidence too!

what a lovely shot

eijun!

eijun's hair flying behind him is really pleasing

aww eijun wanting to be a good senpai to asada but also being considerate

harucchi working so hard im so proud of him

but also eat!!!

good job kanemaru taking care of people

(toujou in tow)

always trying to accomplish something... big mood

look at him... trying to smile...

i want to hug him

kanemaru go hug him for me!

HE'S SO?????????? PRETTY?????????

TOUJOU TOO I SWEAR

LISTEN

TOO MANY KUKI SHOTS TO SCREENSHOT BUT JUST KNOW HE'S BEING PRETTY AND WORKING HARD

why did ochiai look so different

takatsu!!!!

YES I KNOW ASADA YOU'RE CHEERING FOR YOUR BF YOU'RE DOING A GREAT JOB

kanemaru talking like he knows takatsu i demand interaction stat

HELL YEAH TALK ABOUT MY BOI TAKATSU LIKE THAT

takatsu's voice is partly right behind my nose its strange but i guess not bad?

I CHOKED ON MY FOOD WHEN TOUJOU CALLED HIM YOUHEI

HOW DID YOU FORGET SUN

damn right seidou is crazy but not in the way that you think kuki

asada get over here i will Hug You Fiercely

lmao koushuu lowkey throwing shade but not really

CLAP KOUSADA CLAP BATTERY CLAP

HAHAHAHA HOW MANY TIMES DID MOGAMI'S VA HAVE TO SAY THAT TO DO IT CORRECTLY

KUKI WITH THAT C ONFIDENCE

he would make a good captain hMMST

TAKU CONFIDENCE TOO

ASADA CHEERING KUKI ON HAS WATERED MY CROPS, CLEARED MY SKIN, FED MY CHILDREN--

ANOTHER GRATUITOUS KUKI SHOT

KARIBAAAAAAA

omg if kuki reminds kariba of sawamura then is this ace foreshadowing

i can still dream about kuki asada double ace right

SCREAMS ENDLESSLY INTO THE VOID

LOOK AT THEM

LOOK AT T H E M S T

aw kuki cares about toujou so much

WAAAAAAAAH ASADA'S LITTLE "YATTA"

omg kuki bleps too? 

like mochi like mukai lmaoo

LOVE THEM

okay yui your gay is showing hlskjdfs

masashi put yo aura away

good job kawashima!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pats kariba gently

my heart is breaking for all these third years

esp nabe...

CRIES HARDER

THEY STILL WANT TO HELP OUT

STOP THIS PAIN I TELL YOU STOP IT

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

TAKATSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

HOW DARE YOU PLAY WITH MY HEART LIKE THIS

representing them............. im not o kay.............

HLSKDGH THE LITTLE EMPHASIS MARK WHEN HE CALLS ASADA

KOUSHUU ITO TAKU GANBARREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

ASADA TOO OF COURSE

WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS HOW MUCH I LOVE ONE (1) SETO TAKUMA

AAAAAAA KUKI ENCOURAGING ASADA IN TURN I LOVE SUPPORTIVE BOYFRIENDS

oh god oh god have i also mentioned how GORGEOUS taku's voice is i cANNOT

asada bby i dont think youd have ever been ready for this game 

YAAAAAAAAAARGH KOUSHUU BEING ENCOURAGING

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH DEAD-LAST-AT-THE-DINNER-TABLE SQUAAAAAAAAD

WAAAAAAAAAAAAH ASADA REFLECTING ON KOUSHUU STANDING UP FOR HIM

I ALSO SUPPORT KOUSADA HAVE I MENTIONED THAT I SHOULD SAY IT AGAIN

"maybe he thought of me as a friend" ASADA FUCKING HIROFUMI WE LOVE THE HELL OUT OF YOU

SOMEONE HOLD ME

YOU SHOULD HEAR THE DYING WHALE NOISES IM MAKING

OH GOD

OH GOD

IM

IM DEAD GONE GOODBYE

okay sun we getting a lil cap happy here

eijun you doofus come out from behind there

LMAO "IS HE SCARED" KOUSHUU IS HIS FRIEND EIJUN

HYAHA ZONO AND MOCHI READ MY MIND

i fucking love love love how taku and koushuu shared that one brain cell right there

LSKDJFLGSHKG "he throws faster than me"

TAKU ENCOURAGING ASADA AAAAAAAA

at this point i should just make it an OT4 - koutakuasakuki

hell yeah pretty koushuu shot

hello have i introduced you to my SON

WAIT WAIT WAIT

REWIND

TAKU DAS GAY

ALSO HEIGHT DIFFERENCE

literally this looks like he's about to go in for the kiss

i meant the kill but same difference

WHY ARE YOU SO CUUUUUUUUUUUUTE

hsljkdfghjslkfdj IVE BEEN WAITING

FOR THE "taku, what was that."

AND TAKU'S VOICE ALL CHEEKY LIKE "NOTHING" MAKES IT EVEN BETTER theyre SO CUTE

im gonna watch this segment again

screams softly in koutaku rights

koushuu's so used to him like that lmaoo

he just gives him a reminder and moves on

ALSO EVERY TIME KOUSHUU AND TAKU CALL EACH OTHER TAKU AND KOUSHUU MY HEART JUST DOKI DOKIS SO DAMN HARD

what was that twitter post i saw today? the cliche meme with "oh my god the grumpy one is secretly in love with the sunshine one"

also obligatory pretty koushuu shot

asada is so confused poor bby

TAKU SHARING KOUSHUU'S BRAIN CELL I CANN O T

TALK ABOUT A DYNAMIC DUO

THEY ALREADY THINKING ABOUT WINNING

THE S OUN D ASADA MADE IM MCFUCKING DYING

LMFAOOOOO

couldnt get a screenshot but taku looking at koushuu like that makes me melt

even better koushuu pretending not to notice

audience members who asked you

this screams found family

eijun cheering asada on....... still behind that pole

what a goober

HYAHA MOCHI READING MY MIND AGAIN

LMAO "asada's an innocent guy" too true but also gdi eijun

ooh we stan asada being perceptive about koushuu

yessss asada you go kick ass

HYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA "IM ALREADY DEAD"

HOLD UP IM LAUGHING TOO HARD AHAHAHA

taku i see you you lil goober hiding all blurry in the corner while koushuu calms asada down

koushuu havent you heard? tapping your glove against people's chests is gay

asada being formal @ koushuu lmaoo

and koushuu telling him not to straight up lmaoooo

TAKU WE GET IT YOU LOVE KOUSHUU

good JOB asada pitching from the stretch

no remarkable features??? no asada you are unique and wonderful and i love you

ooh the nice sound - that's koushuu's soft touch catching right

his cheeky grin and WHAT FOR

mochi's voice sighs happily

might as well give yall a cute eijun while im at it

OH YEAH

HELL YEAH PLAYING INFIELD IN AND GETTING AGGRESSIVE

oh hello that is an intense face you're making good sir

WHAT THATS IT SERIOUSLY?

GIVE ME MORE FIRSTIES

preview

taku!!

hahaha when you put kuki's face then asada's expression like that one after another

also them talking here

who's on fire?

cries softly of course you'll meet expectations asada

SUMMARY:

minor 3rd yr appreciation!

kuki's mindset STRONK

hug toujou RIGHT NOW

kane, toujou, kuki squad!

DEAD LAST AT THE DINNER TABLE SQUAD

my heart breaks for 3rd yrs who cant play

eijun a goober

koutakuasakuki JUST SAYIN

koutaku one smart brain cell

See you next week!!!

[honeycomq]

        yo  ,  waddup  waddup  !!!  it’s  simba  again  &  this  time  ,  i’m  giving  you  a  glimpse  into  the  life  of  the  party  and  fellow  lambda  sigma  omega  man  himself  ,  ARTHUR  CHAE  !  before  reading  the  listed  triggers  will  be  present  :  self  -  inflicted  injuries  ,  mentions  of  violence.

        *   ☆  ◞  IM CHANGKYUN. CISMALE. HE/HIM.  ◟  wait, wasn’t that ARTHUR CHAE? they’re a TWENTY-ONE year old JUNIOR, hailing from ALBANY, NEW YORK. i heard they’ve chosen to study PERFORMING ARTS while living at LAMBDA SIGMA OMEGA. word around campus is that they’re EASYGOING & WARM-HEARTED but also quite AWKWARD & REMOTE. if you happen to see them walking to class with their earbuds in, they’re probably listening to BON BON CHOCOLAT by EVERGLOW. ( simba, 18, cst, she/her. )

first  off  .  his  music  choice  ???  i’m  STILL  laughing

anyWAy  ,  onto  this  ...  fucking  disaster  ,  jfc  .

arthur  was  the  result  of  a  hookup  gone  bad  .  his  dad  was  a  male  escort  and  his  mother  was  just  a  client  who  had  bargained  for  more  than  she  could  handle  .  was  literally  given  to  his  dad  after  turning  two  and  has  never  seen  his  “surrogate”  ever  since  .

his  dad  was  just  turning  his  life  around  for  the  better  .  got  out  of  the  game  and  got  a  real  job  working  for  his  uncle’s  mechanic  shop  .  this  was  where  his  father  would  meet  his  now  step - mother,  or  his  real  mom  as  far  as  he’s  concerned  .

had  two  twin  siblings  three  years  later  and  would  snap  necks  if  something  happened  to  them  .

was  a  child  who  possessed  an  idgaf  attitude  at  a  young  age  .  he  was  quite  the  little  shit  ,  tbh  .  always  taking  things  without  asking  ,  breaking  something  and  hiding  it  ,  throwing  rocks  at  the  neighbor’s  kids  .  quite  an  interesting  asshole  .

maybe  it  was  because  he  stayed  up  night  and  watched  programs  he  shouldn’t  have  .  and  porn  but  HEY  .

this  carried  on  into  his  childhood  days  ,  which  caused  a  lot  of  fucking  trouble  .  he  practically  lived  in  the  principal’s  office  at  school  by  this  time  .

arthur  didn’t  care  .  and  it’s  all  because  of  the  followers  he  gained  .

known  the  “arthur  the  asshole”  among  students  ,  and  some  teachers  ,  this  was  when  he  started  loving  attention  .  he  was  needy  for  it  ,  would  literally  die  without  it  .

even  much  so  ,  he  noticed  that  some  teachers  would  actually  feel  sorry  for  him  ,  thinking  something  is  going  on  at  home  .  which  brings  up  into  how  he  was  sent  to  live  with  his  uncle  on  his  step - mother’s  side  .

arthur  thought  it  would  be  funny  if  he  came  to  school  one  day  looking  like  he  was  almost  road  kill  and  blamed  it  on  his  family  .  it  gained  him  attention  ,  but  not  the  kind  he  was  used  to  . the  school  immediately  contacted  cps  .  this  stunt  nearly  cost  him  his  sisters  ,  and  that  was  when  he  quickly  admitted  to  hurting  himself  .  dad  wasn’t  happy  ,  step - mom  felt  bad  but  thought  that  he  just  needed  to  get  away  for  a  while .

a  while  turned  into  years  .

as  a  teenager  ,  he  grew  quite  the  reputation  .  fuckboy  and  liar  .  how  pretty  .

schmoozed  his  way  into  anyone’s  hearts  then  proceeded  to  break  them  bc  that’s  the  tREnD ,  riGHt ?????

honestly  this  all  started  when  he  was  used  as  a  bet  for  a  football  player  to  make  a  “gay”  come  out  .

he  knew  he  was  bi-sexual  so  this  was  just  the  icing  on  the  cake  .  they  dated  undercover  for  five  months  ,  which  led  to  him  losing  his  virginity  to  this  guy  .  the  outcome  ?  having  a  video  of  him  giving  the  guy  a  bj  displayed  during  a  prep - ralley  .  

his  response  ?  “this  just  proves  that  i  can  take  your  boyfriends  ,  ladies  !  might  wanna  watch  keep  an  eye  on  him  before  i  change  his  life”  and  a  fUCKING  WINK .

literally  fought  his  ex  that  same  night  on  the  football  field  and  won  .  he  punched  until  he  saw  red  .  then  proceeded  to  cry  in  the  school’s  pool  area  afterward  .

the  kid’s  just  dsyfunctional  .  doesn’t  know  what  to  do  especially  now  that  his  uncle  is  a  drug  addict  .

came  to  the  conclusion  one  night  after  smoking  for  the  first  time  with  the  old  man  across  the  street  that  he  was  gonna  do  something  that  would  make  him  proud  .

turns  out  being  a  male  stripper  was  harder  than  he  thought  so  ig  college  will  do  for  now  .

the  old  man  across  the  street  soon  became  his  second  father  and  helped  pay  for  his  tuition  .  actually  got  a  scholarship  for  being  left -  handed  but  was  right  so  WHOOPIE  .

went  to  nyu  so  he  would  still  be  somewhat  close  to  the  elder  .  contacts  him  anyway  possible  .

his  freshman  year  was  a  breeze  .  he  stayed  to  himself  ,  got  his  work  done  .  was  all  about  making  himself  &  the  ones  he  loved  proud  his  first  semester  .  it  was  second  semester  that  was  just  ...  wOw  .

the  partying  scene  consumed  him  .  it  was  his  literal  aesthetic  .  empty  beer  cans  in  the  morning  ,  the  pain  from  the  sun  blinding  your  eyes  ,  the  intense  head - pounding  from  drinking  .  he  BREATHED  that  shit  .

became  well - known  on  campus  after  diving  into  the  crowd  from  the  upstairs  balcony  of  a  party  .  the  guy’s  fun  to  be  around  .

was  offered  to  join  the  zetas  but  kindly  refused  since  he  hated  how  they  acted  .  SHOCKING

after  becoming  a  party  animal  ,  he  went  on  to  being  the  heart - breaker  as  well  .  this  was  actually  on  accident  ,  i  swear  .  the  boy  has  the  mindset  that  nothing  good  ever  stays  and  that  you  can’t  trust  no  one  .  he  broke  up  some  really  long - lasting  relationships  because  of  this  .  even  platonic  ships  didn’t  last  long  .

now  in  his  junior  year  ,  arthur’s  starting  to  see  that  life  doesn’t  fucking  matter  LMAO  .

like  in  a  “if  you’re  going  to  fuck  up,  fuck  up  all  the  way.”  type  shit

in  conclusion : arthur  is  the  human  definition  of  trying  but  also  the  definition  of  damaged  .

FUN  FACTS !!!!!!

my  favorite  fact  about  him  :  he  joined  lambda  sigma  omega  bc  he  fucking  hates  zetas  .  the  parties  are  nice  ,  yes  ,  but  fuck  those  guys  .

when  he  first  heard  about  the  frat  opening  he  laughed  bc  why  the  hell  would  these  idiots  want  to  piss  off  two  HIGHLY  liked  greek  houses  ?  then  realized  “...  that’s  literally  what  i  do”  so  into  lambda  it  is  !  was  gonna  be  vice  president  bc  why  the  fuck  not  but  didn’t  want  to  risk  fucking  up  a  freshman’s  life  so  he  stuck  with  just  being  a  pledge  .

honestly  ??  just  wants  to  shut  up  the  zetas  soon  .  give  them  a  taste  of  their  own  medicine  .

can  be  noticed  on  campus  rocking  a  black  hoodie  and  black  nail  polish  .

never  spoke  to  his  twin  sisters  since  leaving  but  does  write  them  letters  even  though  he  hates  it  .

lowkey  cries  in  his  sleep  but  shush  .

aquarius  in  sun  ,  moon  in  libra  .

joined  the  baseball  team  as  well  as  the  campus  radio  station  and  theatre  club  .

if  you  can  approach  him  when  he’s  sober  you’re  braver  than  the  marines  .

kinda  cocky  ,  a  little  bit  conceited  but  it’s  only  because  he’s  tired  of  feeling  hated  by  everything  so  he  just  ..  hates  himself  so  it’s  easier  ???  if  that’s  a  way  to  describe  it  .

[transinclusionary]

None of that means they can't be/aren't secretly terfs. It's easy af to pretend not to be

no im sorry not me. I am definitely a good judge of character. No one is perfect and I don't always make correct assumptions about my compatibility with friends, but I talk about my attitudes towards life way too much to not weed out terfs. My best friend is a trans woman, and my partner has trans family. My parents also are trans competent, otherwise I would no longer speak to them.

But seriously it kinda sounds like y'all silently go about life being afraid to voice your opinions when they're not online. It's probably because deep down you know that no one would accept your reasoning. Not trans people, not conservatives, not mainstream feminism, and most certainly not the lgbT community.

In my time lurking on those awful tags I've learned two things about terfs: 1) you all are some of the most miserable, hateful people on the planet. The average terf rhetoric is so beyond disrespectful. Before you say "but "TRAS" 🙄 also say hateful things to us!!" Probably, but one is a political group and the other is a demographic. Thus they are not equal in terms of the discrimination you get for both. Trans people can be bad just as much as cis people, same with straight, gay, black, white, etc. But terf is an mindset, which you can absolutely control, thus it is not discrimination. It's similar to the concept that black lives are real but blue lives are not. You cannot make the same generalizations about trans people that I can make about terfs, because it is not an identity that you were born with. You do not have to have these opinions. You do this to yourself with asinine assertions that if you identify as trans you're INHERENTLY a certain way. That's so fucking stupid bruh I can't even lie. It's literally the exact same shit European Americans pulled on African Americans. No one is inherently bad because of their gender. People are bad because bad people are inherent to humanity. Sometimes a group can be emboldened by societal messages of superiority. But that still does not mean that cishet white men are inherently bad people, they just have a lot of societal conditioning to unravel. And guess what, same with cis people. The messages we receive in a Christian influenced society (no sun ever rested in the British empire) influences the way we perceive the actions of minorities we don't have much contact with. But people in your demographic of course get to be individuals. Bad radfems don't speak for you but every trans criminal speaks for all trans people right? That sounds stupid doesn't it? That's because it is.

The second thing I have learned is 2) terfs will wait a really long time to reveal their beliefs because you know how isolating your believes are outside of Tumblr and Twitter (maybe even irl but I doubt y'all go outside besides going to work). It is not for your safety, it is because no one likes you. And you not being liked is no one's problem but your own. I am a very polarizing person (as evident from this blog) but there have been people in my life now and in my past who adored me/who I adored. I have never struggled in life to find at least one friend. Can you say the same? Your hatred makes you lonely, and I'm sorry to say but I can sense hatred in a person from a mile away. I am training to be a therapist and if you really pay attention to the people around you, a lot of them wear that shit on their sleeves.

So basically, y'all carry that antisocial energy everywhere you go. Most people will subconsciously avoid you and never put the time into you. People like me sniff out your bullshit from an anon. That leaves the other hateful members of your little clique. Do you think your Tumblr radfem compatriots will ever be a true friend to you? Will they be at your wedding, birthdays, or funeral? Or will they ditch you the second you say something too dodgey for the hate group.

If you read this whole thing and STILL don't understand I'll spell it out: if they make fun of others, they will absolutely do it to you eventually, without fail. Bad actions do not lead to good people in life. So next time you're miserable, think about this post and know you were told exactly what's wrong with you by a random internet stranger who you sent an anonymous message to. Couldn't be me ✌🏾

[ixnova]

honey.... like you have a point about sexism towards men but, though I wouldn't call it exactly equal to sexism against women because it is an egaterated kinda defense mechanism towards the thousands of years of human history in which women were seen as less in the majority of cultures (worldwide not just in Eurasia and north Africa.) But there's no 'white' or straight culture and no negativity outside of dumb counter culture you find on Tumblr which mostly originate as jokes

Okay first of all, you don’t seem to actually know what “Culture” means. Culture is about more than the past and history and whoever the fuck said culture is based on oppression is fucking stupid.

White culture does exist and you can be positive about it without being toxic, y’know if you actually understood what culture meant. for example traditional foods, clothing styles, music, stories, etc, those are all part of a culture. Actually today’s modern jokes about “lying in bed all day and not giving a fuck is x culture” actually ruins what culture really means.

White people, which mind you, is not just the typical american tm, but covers all Europeans and other cultures who are not poc. (i’d even consider Asians their own culture and not a poc culture, but thats a personal opinion there.) have the same things that make them a culture as poc people do. 

Also to say things like the incident with the irish you mentioned isn’t “white history” then i fucking well guess slaverly and shit wasn’t a part of black history and we should just forget it like it didnt fucking happen bc that’s not black history. Irish people experienced racism from other Europeans, simply for being irish. That happened, and is a part of their history, the same way all the horrible racism towards black is a part of black history. We learn about it today to educate people that that time period and standards then were wrong and we shouldn’t ever do that again. To say the irish are invalid because they are a white nationally, is, in and of itself, RACIST.

History is literally anything noteworthy in the past, the opression included but its also milestones and imporant events that have happened and they can apply to any culture, any nationality, any person. Everyone has their own history. You cannot simply write if off like that oh my god.

Furthermore, there’s nothing wrong with white positivty or being proud of being white and having a culture, there’s an issue with white supremacist mindests, but that is separate from just, sitting here, not feeling like shit and feeling guility for stuff you couldn’t control some 200 odd years ago, simply because of your skin color.

So what if im white? so what if i may have had an ancestor who kept slaves, so what if you’re poc? so what if you had an ancestor who was a slave? That was in the past not now. I’m not a slave owner, you’re not a slave, so why do you feel the need to dehumanize people who had a: no control of the past b: do not support the mindest of the past. Why should people be held responsible for this? White positivy for me is simply not listening to racists blacks telling you you don’t have a right to be proud of who you are because of shit in the past you couldnt control.and to make this clear, I know we can’t write off what happened to poc in the past, again that’s why we learn about it now in schools and history classes, so we know that its wrong so that people never think its right, but again i really don’t think its needed to fucking hold people to that and devlop this mindset that white ppl and their culture sucks, because of mistakes of the past.

It’s like saying a german person shouldn’t be proud of who they are because hitler started ww2. there’s a lot more to german culture than the fact they had a shitty leader that caused a war. Also notice how they corrected that as anything related to nazisum and such now is just completely illegal in germany. It’s why racisum is being dealt with in the modren world. people learn from their mistakes but dont keep forcing them to relive them or feel responsible for mistakes that were not their own direct mistakes.

Also don’t get me started on “straight vs gay culture” imo that shouldn’t exist and doesn’t exist, culture is a thing regarding nationality and tradtions and history, things that are unique to that nationality etc, the only reason “gay culture” is trending is due to the jokes. And yes, gay history and opression is different subject entirely.

Your whole message is a train wreck, and only proves to me you’re toxic, a bit racist, and think you’re superior for being a minority. no one’s superior, you’ve accomplished nothing with this. have a good day.

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

no dont apologise! i didnt check until just then so np :)

mmm yeah it is a bit trippy. hehe ITS TRUE THO. yeah sadly i think ur right, and tag blocking is probably a good idea. sometimes smut written well or not in excess is okay but goddamn when its abt 01 line and thats the whole fic... *silently blocks tags*

hehe i do that all the time lol this conversation is carrying on threads from a month ago :) mmm yeah ur probably right sadly, same. HA HE DIDNT HAVE A CHOICE and now i have someone to talk to abt them, so thats good! I KNOW felix was actually the one who got me into skz with his iconique gods menu line so i guess i have a soft spot for him. i always tell myself my bias is chan but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ guess im more whipped than id like to admit. mmm yeah that does make sense dw i hope they do that as well. YES king seungmin hIMSELF. GODDAMNIT DONT GET ME STARTED ON MINHO IN GODS MENU I DIDNT EVEN KNOW HE WAS PART OF THE GROUP UNTIL I STARTED GETTING MORE INTO THEM. BITCH (affectionate) THE LINE DISTRIBUTION HAS BEEN UTTER DOG SHIT but *deep breath* its better now so were moving on adn hoping it stays that way. sis same but i may or may not have gone thru a rlly depressed phase and actively sought out the elimination episodes so i could actually force some tears out of my emotionless shell of a heart but what cna you do? lmaoo i feel that irl, binnie deserves more vocal lines. yesss channies accent is rlly prominent then, i think also the way he structures his phrasing? is more english speaking than korean? but yeah i totally get what ur saying. AJKSAL lmao

okay then! im excited for whenever it gets done! (maybe tag me?) ahh the cold shrivelled heart of a dark au writer beats again at the thought of torturing another poor characters very soul (/j) :(( yeah that would suck not being able to see them. ohhh ur on the other hemisphere to me! were just going into spring rn. mmm smth to look forward to! YES you put it into words. they rlly are pretty independent from the company (remember how jyp rejected that other dudes songs after like 3 seconds and then how he was apparently nervous to show the song hed written to chan cos chan was so good at writing hits ahhh sweet revenge) mmmYES we rlly need a mute and remove notifications button for our brains dont we?

YES CORRECT i totally agree. some people jsut dont give it a try, adn assume its bad cos its korean smh racist assholes. yes! im coming up to my 6 month anniv actually! sis sAME, i feel like theyre being tugged into appealing to the western american market and theyre not staying as true to their artistic flair as a group, especially with only writing english songs atm. *sigh* ah well, at least theyre bringing recognition to the kpop world. AHUH dead on, theyre going to be discarded pretty soon and then where will bp be? theyll prob go solo paths which is rlly sad but what can you do when the company is run by a prideful asshole? yg is not going to last much longer in the big four if they keep this up.

hehe you get it. oooh very cool! whos ur ult? (sorry if youve said this before) mmmm yeah good decision, i feel liek thats probably a wise decision. this is my first album release as a kpop stan (not counting mixtape oh) so i think ill get it for sentiments sake. yeah! im excited for the new music! mingi was the one who got me into them, but atm my bias is seonghwa followed by san, wooyoung and ateez but jonghos high notes man *swoon* he, yeah atm ive got jake, jay, nikki, jungwon and sunoo down so just trying to get the rest :) heh, yeah kard i rlly only got into cos of bm, ive seen him like interacting with a lot of idols and he seemed nice so i decided to check out the group. ikr gunshot man *another swoon*

no noe! i didnt know what it was until i got it lol. thx toffee ill try and take that to mind :) yeah lol im on a waiting list thats not going to be free until late september so hopefully i can hold on until then. hope ur okay, that sounds like it sucks, hope you can find someone. maybe ill just take you along on my phone and the therapist can get a two for one patient deal lmaooo. mmm, sorry no i havent mentioned it before, i dont rlly talk abt it much. uhhh basically hypermobility? if you google it, it doesnt seem bad, jsut joint flexibility but ive got the severe end of the stick, leaning towards ehlers danlos syndrome so thats fun. basically it just makes it hard for me to exercise, run, jump, stand or just walk for long periods of time and gives me a lot of joint and muscle pain so... thats fun! but obviously so many other people have it worse than me, so i try not to complain. normally in young people it will improve as they get older, but my doctor said bc its severe in me, its unlikely to get much better. but again, i dont have the worst lot in the bunch, so its all g.

oh its good that its not the bad type of rain, a light sprinkling can be relaxing sometimes. aww thx darl, the concern is appreciated but it went pretty well and i managed not to cough too much on stage or kill myself trying to run around to the other side of the stage in the pouring rain so thats good! oooh tea buddies! my dogs a labradoodle, but shes a bit more of a feral poodle lol not much labrador in her at all, unless its her relentless urge to hunt down every bird that has ever walked this earth smh :((( hopefully they can come back on soon, does uni have dances?

ahhh a mood if i ever heard one. hopefully things will get better for you soon, ik anxiety sucks ass. ooh thats always good! when its sunny here, its always melt ur thongs to the pavement hot so the nicely cool sunny days are a lovely change. hehe impatience is not so good for you, but good for us that get to see ur beautiful theme early. ahh no worries, itll come eventually hopefully. and if not, then just things that make you not anxious are good. it doesnt have to be black or white, sometimes gray is good. mmmmm sames i have midterms this week to catch up on and then two weeks of end of terms so thats fun! i hope u can overcome that a little, heres some channie to be ur motivation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8LWyNjzOww. hah! i hear that all the time, he seems to be everywhere. did you see that tiktok of hans slowed back door rap, i stg it sounded EXACTLY like namjoon, it kinda scared me. also teh beginning of another day, sounds so much like joon i swear.

that reminds me! idk ur biases! i feel like this should be smth i should know so please! feel free to elaborate!

ahh im glad, i was worried it is. mmm same, so no hard feelings if either of us misses a day or smth. ill start worrying if weeks/months have gone by, but if its just a little while thats more than fine. ill just picture you studiously completing notes and i wont worry lol

<3 w.a. 🐺

at some point i really think i'm going to start blocking accounts because blocking tags won't be enough. i saw ask tags the other day and it just made me want to bleach my eyeballs.

i could talk about god's menu felix for hours man. the teaser for god's menu that featured his part on the bridge made me look forward to the mv release. you: biases chan, also you: lixiesbabyhands. yes you are more whipped than you think. i can't believe orange haired minho was given NOTHING during that era but they kind of made up for it in the b-sides. i also hope it stays that way. the distribution for this era was pretty fair.

"torturing another poor character's soul" in all honesty, i used to live for this. 2017 me leading up to early 2020 wrote nothing but angst. i have another aussie friend on twt and tbh i'm still really (O.o) about the seasons! jyp should be terrified skz could easily take over that company. heck if skz grow old and start their own company, they'd probably do a great job at running it. PLEASE. i have issues on muting/notifications both mentally and in real life. sometimes, i just wish to disappear.

some people in my country are just disgusting tbh. not only racist but homophobic too. they label kpop as 'gay' and it DISGUSTS me. it's a problematic behavior/mindset people in my country need to fucking get rid of. anyway, HELP ME 6 MONTHS??? and i've been in this shit for like a decade eye. tbh, i’m not fond of kpop groups trying to appeal to the western audience :// it feels like they’re losing their identity in a way. yes recognition but at what cost? yg has my favorite groups but that’s one shitty company when it comes to promoting.

okay my ult! it’s haechan from nct but i consider chan an ult too. like a close second above my whopping list of kpop boys. oh yes! you should get the album just for like a keepsake? remembrance? how did mingi appeal to you? omg did you start getting interested in ateez back when he was still on hiatus? NOT YOU BIASING THE SAME PEOPLE I DID WHEN I FIRST STARTED STANNING. the infamous ateez thot-line. jongho is easily one of the best fourth gen vocalists out here, no one can change my mind :( good luck with memorizing the rest of enhypen! just in time for the comeback too. i hope i’ll get into kard soon but i’m pretty content (and a tad bit overwhelmed) with the amount of groups i stan right now.

please hold on though, feel free to vent here if you like. thanks for the offer tho HAHA but like i’ll try to get checked here too when the cases die down a bit. i’m sorry to hear about your condition though :( please don’t ever overwork yourself to the point that your joints/muscles would ache. it’s completely valid to complain about it tho. i get that you have others in mind but keeping that mindset really doesn’t do you (like you internally) any better? so if you need to, vent your frustrations out and don’t keep it in.

oh my god, about your performance last sunday. was the stage out in the open? glad you didn’t cough too much and did well on your concert. i’m proud of you! i can never understand dogs and poor birds T_T uni doesn’t have dances unfortunately. i think there’s just one party at the end like a graduation ball. what year are you in anyway? if it’s something that you’re fine with sharing. if not, it’s cool.

good luck with your exams! and thanks for the link! AHA what a cutie. i think he does this motivation thing once in a while during his lives and it’s just comforting. yeah joon and han my irl just freaked when we made that discovery. ult crumbs for her. oh god not me forgetting about every biases when you asked. you can ask for my biases in a few groups just list down the one’s you’re interested in knowing. 

i missed yesterday because i was grinding and finishing what if we stay + school work. finally did it today. i’m sure i’ll reply in like a day or two, definitely not a month unless i state otherwise. if i ever decide to abandon this blog, i’ll let you know.

[tinkdw]

I asked a bibro/anti if they could ever see destiel as canon. They said some interesting and definitive statements for someone who isn't a spn writer or production member. "Dean is not going to turn gay/bi." "Jensen hates destiel" "Dean is not going to mature into a non-codependent relationship with Sam partly because he has no desire to, partly because they’re actual literal soulmates, and partly because it would be boring TV."

I can see you really want an answer to this question as you asked me this twice so... 

I just can’t even, I’m facepalming so hard.

Look antis are just hateful. They hate nice things. Ignore them.

As for bibros, I’m sure there are nice bibros, however this is not my experience. I know one who is kind of ok but still resorts to online bullying and calling us delusional for things that have already been textualised as canon on the show so meh.

Dean is not going to TURN Bisexual if he is canon bisexual. IT HAS BEEN THERE ALL ALONG. That is why we have written REALMS of meta on it, SINCE SEASON 1. Just because they don’t like it and refuse to see it doesn’t mean it’s not THERE.

This is the same for the end of the toxic codependency. And Destiel. And everything.

They say “it can’t happen because it would be OOC” and yet they are yelling that everyone is OOC since season 12 because they just don’t see that this is them BEYOND THE FACADE, being the REAL them. Jeez. They really don’t have a leg to stand on I’m sorry. They’re just flat out wrong and yelling about it.

The toxic codependency LITERALLY ENDED IN 12x22!!!! I mean even if it rears it’s head here and there or IF it gets re-verted (which I doubt given how much emphasis they gave the scene and build up to it in 12x22) it’s still framed as BAD and if you watch Andrew Dabb’s own episodes he frames the toxic codependency as BAD BAD BAD and that it has to end. Then he’s showrunner and WAM BAM. End.

He’s the one who wrote 5x16, the episode that the bibros love because apparently it says they’re canonically soulmates. PFFFT THIS WAS NOT WHAT DABB WAS SAYING AT ALL!!!!!! A. No, just no. There is no reading for this that is concrete, it’s a vague concept that I can understand but overall makes no sense. So all you have to do is look at author INTENT. Watch the rest of Dabb’s episodes and you see that the “canon soulmates” reading is completely contradictory to the rest of his writing. What he was saying was that Dean’s toxic codependency on Sam was BAD and terrible for his own personal wellbeing and that Sam just wanted to escape because of the burden of it all. Literally all of this episode was showing that Sam DID NOT WANT the codependency. Then the next episodes show Dean’s spiral into feeling he should say yes to Michael as he feels unloved by Sam and unwanted, because his hold on the codependency is so strong. It’s BAD BAD BAD. SHEESH. (Also ironically or perhaps not it’s CAS who helps him break out of this mindset through something that he doesn’t want on the top level in this terrible moment of regression to his old ways but helps him in the long run. Meta much).

Then later Dabb episodes bring this up more and more as bad and to END, I mean Carver did too obviously, season 8 was all a huge exposition of how terrible the codependency was, culminating in them failing to save the world because of it in a direct subversion of season 5, they kind of become anti-heroe because of the codependency.

They become BAD because of it! It’s TERRIBLE for their individual characters and together and it’s due to the codependency!!

Anyway.... so after all this we are now seemingly heading to a positive endgame and the toxic codependency is GONE. Dusted. @elizabethrobertajones has been yelling at me about how they sat at the table in 13x02 and how this is really important to show the dynamics of the codependency, namely that yes it is now ended, just as we hoped/expected it would be after 12x22.

"Dean is not going to mature into a non-codependent relationship with Sam partly because he has no desire to, partly because they’re actual literal soulmates, and partly because it would be boring TV."

I JUST WHAT?!!?!! Dean has no desire to?! This has been his journey all along!! Yes he APPEARED to not want to because he was hanging onto it but all he wants is to be EMANCIPATED and be his own person!!!! Facepalm. Again this is seeing top level Dean and thinking this is who he ACTUALLY is. Freaking surface level reading much.

That’s what the whole point of the “young Dean” and “uninhibited Dean” episodes are for - to set up who he wants to be. OUTSIDE of the codependency and the responsibility of patenting Sam being thrown on him he is totally different! He is soft, there are parts of him that are totally still HIM, helping people, wanting to do the right thing, but the facade is GONE. This is the point of the “inhibitions reduced” episodes like 12x11 or when he’s drugged up etc - and lo and behold he starts flirting with guys, saying he loves stuff he usually wouldn’t (Disney, Taylor Swift) ETC ETC.

These people are literally looking at PERFORMANCE LEVEL DEAN and thinking this is all there is to him.

It’s infuriatingly insulting to the writers, also to Jensen, but Jensen himself sometimes falls into it so I can’t even have such a go when he himself forgets to mention Taylor Swift and obviously does sometimes see Dean as the performance. But literally THIS WEEK he went into a whole spiel about how Dean has layers bla bla bla he’s seeing this more clearly as it becomes more obvious and yes thank you Jensen.

I have a whole tag for the Jensen x destiel thing because he varies on this but ultimately whatever happens he and no-one is going to just flat out come out and say “yeah guys we’ve been building this for X years and aw well it was supposed to be a huge big socio-political reveal but I’ll say yes here at this random con”.

So whatever, I stick to what the story is telling us and right now Dabb era is VALIDATING ALL OUR META.

- end of the toxic codependency. check.

- dean has to face the pedestal view of his mother to start learning to accept himself as flawed but still good. check.

- dean has to be more emotionally honest. check.

- sam has to face his past and his guilt through something to allow him to move past it and forgive himself (Jack is perfect). check.

- dean has to face his issues with his father (FUCKING CHECK BIG TIME THIS WHOLE SEASON IS ABOUT FATHERS AND JOHN ALREADY HAD AN OUT OF NOWHERE MENTION IN A BUCKLEMMING EPISODE NO LESS TO HAMMER HOME THAT THIS IS GOING TO BE A HUGE FACTOR. IM LIVING).

- Destiel. Destiel is a huge part of Dabb’s own episodes writing. No wonder it’s so blatant in his showrunning and looking more and more like canon endgame.

So yeah, the bibros who kinda have a grasp on subtext are screaming that the characters are OOC and the writing is bad right now because they don’t like what they’re seeing. The ones who don’t grasp subtext think the show is great cos it’s just about the bros again and Cas is old news. They literally cannot see that Cas is ALL OVER 13x01/02 and I cannot even comprehend the stupid. They have even said it in all the interviews let alone in the actual show that he’s the undercurrent of Dean’s grief and he only get better when he’s back.

JEEZ.

So yeah. Sorry, this is such a rant because I am so done with this. I am so done with people thinking these hateful nasty people’s negative awful concepts of the show have any VALID meta reading.

They just don’t right now. Dabb is validating the positive meta that some have been writing for over a decade and I myself have only become a part of over the last year. To say it’s not true is not just infuriating but it’s insulting to the writers who put so much effort into doing it in the first place!!!

It’s snobby I know, but I do sometimes just sit back and think hey, the people I speak to regularly are all well educated people, most of them with with degrees, MAs, PHDs in literature, some actually work in writing/literature/cinema. We are not the idiots here. On top of that the fact that Dabb literally seems to have a checklist of our meta and is ticking it of.

Because it’s also HIS meta, it’s the way he wrote the show, it’s just validation that our readings were correct because that was the way they wrote it!

Yes things could flip if the showrunner or endgame for some reason changed but honestly I do not understand how that could happen now. It’s set up so strongly for the positive endgame we’ve been talking about for ages and now everything is setting up for it even more, we are like 85% of the way there, why would the final 15% change?

The antis/bibros just refuse to see the 85% of the story and are stuck on some warped view of what was set up as the BAD START as being the thing to strive for in the end. That’s not how story telling works. 

They set up the BAD START so that in the end it could be subverted (you can see a lot of it is in Swan Song for example but not all of it, so that they could continue the story, in fact the things that aren’t or the way it’s then immediately subverted is then set up as the NEXT bad thing to continue the story ie. Sam always had to redeem himself and die but then he comes back WRONG).

It’s standard storytelling! Set up the bad start so that the heroes subvert it and end up in the good ending! 

If at the start the hero is alone and alcoholic and clearly strives for a family but much of his blood family is negatively framed, doesn’t accept himself and hides parts of himself and “just wants someone to love him” (these are all things that are TEXTUALLY set up in season1 for Dean for example) then this is his endgame: a healthy life, found family around him and someone who loves him for exactly who he is warts and all.

This is blatantly what is happening (among others obviously but this is the easiest example as Dean pretty much carries the main emotional arc these days) and I’m so excited for it :)

[elirossy]

ELIOT ROSIER is a WIZARD of TWENTY-TWO in RAVENCLAW who looks particularly like JACK FALAHEE. They are in their FOURTH YEAR and study ARITHMANCY. If you asked anyone who knew them, they would describe them as CAREFREE and WHOLE HEARTED but also FOOLISH and GULLIBLE. 

honestly im gonna be lazy about this but also i have a billion characters and forget sO fast

here’s eli, you’ve seen him before probably 

he’s pretty much the same but a lot nicer, in fact he may even be SORT of a people’s person? he’s not as anti social, but still hardcore believes in one true friend rather than 6 fake ones 

he’s got one big doggo, he’s a golden retriever and the purest one but he’s got a sad tail (haha get it?) HIS NAME IS ORION and he was being abused by his old owner for purebred breeding 

so eli steps in and rescues him and he’s been with eli since :’) 

eli’s a rosier and his parents still have that awful mindset where being gay is a sin and blood supremacy is a thing? but eli? never gave a fuck? doesn’t care about MONEY or nothing so he left

first year of uni he left his family (except his sister ofc) and has never looked back ! 

he’s interning at the ministry, lots of nights when he’s done uni to make money but also because he’s dying to be a cursebreaker and he wants the experience

he spreads himself pretty thin with school, having a major and a minor and it’s okay because that’s the way he likes it 

he doesn’t look and/or act the smartest, in fact half of the time he sounds pretty STUPID but he’s very very very book smart. QUIZ him on shakespeare i dare u. will be able to tell u anything about stars and greek mythology. 

he didn’t go to hogwarts bc he didn’t want to, and his father wouldn’t let him go to beauxbatons because it was for twinks (lol little DOES HE KNOW...) so eli attended durmstrang and was top student every year except for fifth year, but he doesn’t wanna talk about that

now at uni, he’s a lot chiller and doesn’t really care too much about academic competitions? but rather athletic ones. he doesn’t like quidditch because he likes to have his feet on the ground but wow @ him with rugby bc he’ll DESTROY EVERYONE

works out like a maniac, often overworking himself but it’s ok 

doesn’t rlly... do cheat days bc he doesn’t have a sweet tooth and he eats vegan bc fish are friends not food

love love loves animals of all sorts, but is WAY too emotional to work with them so just let him pet ur pets pls and thanks

is super opinionated? and also stubborn? it kinda comes out 

has an ultimatum for EVERYTHING like u disagree with him on ross being a bad person? HE WILL NEVER SPEAK TO U AGAIN 

he’s ruthless but also sweeter than agave bc honey isn���t vegan and gosh the bees make honey for themselves not u guys 

don’t come near him w/ soy milk either, almond is bae and cashew if he can afford it 

is poor, even tho his fam is rich but he lives pretty much day by day, doesn’t rlly go out to drink or nth so like YA KNOW

i love how i never write bios but with eli it flows right out

[attackofthezee]

Im not touching on the queer parts cause like hell yeah I agree. And I also have a lot of opinions on like screaming hatred of the word queer being our new fancy lgbt way of gatekeeping buuuut this is not where I'm getting into that. Buuuut I'm also like 99% sure lesbian wasn't a slur? Granted, I only did a quick Google search but like for a long ass time lesbian just referred to anything derived from Lesbos, the home of Sappho aka the og mother of lesbianism.

Now gay however, is a whole other story! A lot of people in the comments on this seem pretty adamant in their "gay wasn't ever a slur! It was only ever a good word!" mindset which like siiiiiigh. As a word its so much more interesting than just good or just bad???

(I would like to clarify that I am not a linguist or anything like that. I'm just a person who really likes linguistics and like how words relate to culture and all that good stuff.)

At the start it totally meant "joyful" and "carefree" and also "showy" so like I mean it didn't start out a slur so there IS that. But at the same time it wasnt in usage THAT long before it took on some negative connotations. Well before it was a word to describe homosexuality it had different connotations than just straight up happy. It had a sort of added layer of "immoral", or "innaprorptiate" or i guess "irreverent"???

It also came to, for a long ass time, just kinda mean "prostitute". A "gay woman" was a prostitute, a "gay house" a brothel, and a "gay boy" a male prostitute who serviced men.

And then like, somewhere in the late 19th/early 20th century it came to describe people of one gender who wanted to smush their bits against people of the same genders bits.

And even then! It still kind of described like a lot of things because language doesnt exist in a vacuum. Certain people use one word one way and others use it another way and neither is actually right or wrong per say, just different in their understanding of it.

And I think its worth noting that even the words that arent slurs? There are and have been large circles of so called polite society that wield them against us like they are. I've lived in the midwest and the south, on two different edges of the bible belt and let me tell you I've heard the word 'lgbt' said with enough disgust and hatred that they might as well have been saying something much much worse.

Stop screaming about how ‘queer is a slur’ every time someone says ‘I like being queer’ or ‘I id as queer’ or ‘let people id as queer’.

We fucking know. All our words are slurs. Lesbian started as a slur. Gay started as a slur. Bisexual started as a psychological disorder, same with transgender. All our words have bad starts, the point in us using them was to reforge their sword into our armour.

Let us id as queer in peace. Stop harassing people over their identities.

[survivorwakea]

Episode 5: “my scumbag ass did the unthinkable and dirtbagged myself to safety” - Adam

AHHHHH I DID IT my scumbag ass did the unthinkable and dirtbagged myself to safety, I’m not proud of what I had to do or how I behaved when Taylor got eliminated but in all honesty that was all I knew I could do to get me through.

So okay let me explain my mindset, I was a goner I felt fucked and my back was most certainly against the damn wall. Nobody was answering me and nobody was even trying to talk to me, I knew that Thomas and Chloe are tight as fuck so I needed Tom to think that Taylor was going for Chloe so he would feel that he needed to protect her.  All the red flags were there for Chloe and she knew it was m I could see it in her face that she didn’t believe me at all when I was framing Taylor. She knew that I had made it and I honestly did the dumbest thing ever by snapping and celebrating cause it was live to the cast and being all new to live tribals I wasn’t thinking at all

Okay so after a very explosive tribal council one that I will honestly learn a lot from for future games 😂😂 a swap happens and I was hoping that I could be swapped with like Elmo but I got out with Zack and Ian oh and Chloe... she loves me I swear.

I think I just need to work on just staying calm and cool to try and claw back from that very unneeded aggressiveness just gotta grind this challenge out and get a W

I’m on a tribe with Asya. This is gonna go SO well😒

Im still reeling from that fucking tribal. Im so mad at myself for voting out Taylor and letting Adam fucking manipulate me. Im sick of men, Im sick of their shit. Men have no place in my life right now, theyre all lying cheating fucking scumbags and I would rather cut my tongue out before I ever have to talk to another man again

So, this has been an interesting 24 hours. We swapped tribes again, and as it turns out, the two people who were probably beefing the most at tribal, Adam and Chloe -- they both end up on my tribe. It's a bit frustrating, because I like them both. And if we lose this challenge and have to go to tribal, and they end up opposite each other, I'm worried about picking sides. In fact, I'm worried, period, about this damn tribal. 5 people equals not many places to hide. Yikes.

I’ve been crying about it. I fucking suck, we just established that.

Well it's another loss! I feel like Denise Stapley xD. Anyways, I was put all alone on my new tribe but since I wanted to strangle Adam after what he did it's a good thing, but then I realize poor Chloe is with him I hope he gets it after that last vote. As for this vote, I think of Joey and his third grade picture of a flag that says Kane instead of Milu makes him the easy target. But it is still early, something may change. I'm glad to be back with Asya and both Bodhi and Jared are really cool. I feel I have options.

No. Fuck this. I'm absolutely sick of going to tribal. No. I'm not happy at all. I'm pretty sure I'm cursed right now and all I want to do is sleep. Also Adam is back in my DMs being like lol I still wanna work with u. No thank u to that either. Adam plus tribal makes Chloe not very happy

Well I’m going to another tribal council, I’m getting sick of these but I think if I survive this one their is a possibility merge is next so I think me and tribals will just stay being friends. Poor Chloe and Tommy though they legit have been to every single tribal where I’ve been to every one BUT one.

My plan here is to try and vote Justin with Ian and Zack and hopefully the three of us can Hold the majority this round and take him out so that way moving forward I still slightly gave chloe who I believe is starting to come around again. I think she is finally starting to understand that the only reason I did what I did was being I was getting voted out and desperate times call for desperate measures and I think she gets that.

I’m going to tell her about my plans to vote Justin in a little bit I just hope that she agrees to it calmly and we can just have a simple 4-1 and call it a day.

hey yawlls this round was wild... so basically we swapped AGAIN and I'm with ben, johnny, anabel and lily, so overall a very solid group of people.

I'm rlly happy that I'm on the tribe with Ben because we share a lot of same thoughts about the game and I think that we are somewhat of a duo? I mean there's no bond or agreement between us but still! Really happy to have him here bc I trust him a lot, maybe more than I should.

Then we also have Johnny. He's the obvious threat of the game. He loves challenges and he is pretty darn strong socially too. I was very happy when he approached me with a ride or die deal. It's rlly good for my game at least for now because in order for me to reach far in this game I need to work with a lot of threatening people, if I vote all the out, it won't be a good look for me. Johnny also revealed a lot about who he knows before the game (i kinda knew of a lot of the info though bc i follow a lot of different orgs oops sidfashfd). But yeah! I think this round could start a beautiful partnership between us, I doubt that it will last until the end but it's great that it's a thing at least for now

Next up is Anabel. She is a sweetheart and I see a genuine opportunity to work with her in this game. She's innocent queen so far and I think she'd be loyal to her alliances, however I am also aware that she has crackhead tendencies so I just can't take her loyalty for granted. I rlly like talking to her tho so I think the more I talk to her the less likely it is for her to try to make a move one me? We'll see I guess but I just don't wanna blindly trust her.

Lastly, Lily. Ugh, a busy queen. I am very happy that we won the challenge because if not, there's high chance of her getting voted out of the game. She isn't as connected as the rest of us. The reason why I went so hard for the challenge was because I don't think its smart for my game to vote her out. I REALLY don't see her flipping on me and if she were to do it, I think she'd tell me about it which is the exact reason I want her to be in the game cuz I know I'm gnna need ppl who are v loyal to me. I also have worked a lot on trying to build a bond with her on a gameplay level too and so far so good, I'd say!

I think my position in this tribe is vvvvv good because of the randomly formed group of me Johnny and Anabel (although nobody talks in there, I take it as their sign of I want to work with you). Johnny also has the Ku advantage and while he says that it's nothing, I am not sure if I believe that. I doubt its an idol but I have a feeling that it could be something to help him in the game, yanno? I think that eventually he's gonna tell me though, yanno? Idk this is my random thoughts of the game. It's a blessing to be at confirmed F13 but there's long way to gooooo and I'm kinda here for it.  My predictions for the boots on the other tribes are Joey and Adam but we'll see what happens !

Just won another challenge. Kinda wanted to go to tribal for this one so I could solidify some bonds with ppl but oh well. It could be worse. I could be going home this round lmao

THIS. ROUND. WILL. BE. THE. DEATH. OF. ME! i feel like this round is gonna throw a major wrench in my game for the upcoming days because it's gonna show some people that i'm not as loyal as i say i am. adam and ian think i'm in an alliance with them and that is NOT the case! i feel more loyal to chloe and justin and think i can advantage further in the game with those two. adam and ian think we're all gonna be voting to evict justin, but when adam gets 3 of the votes and winds up going home, i don't think it's gonna be pretty. ian is gonna see that i was never loyal to him but WHATEVER! i had to do what i had to do and i had to lie to them to protect my own self this round! i didn't want them to flip the name around on me, because you never know what could happen in a game like survivor! so yes. me chloe and justin are in a serious alliance and we all plan on evicting adam. adam and ian think i'm in a serious alliance with them and are gonna be evicting justin. so.. this is gonna be another tribal council for the books of celestial i feel like.. so lets get ready and prepare for war! bring it gays.

________________________________________________________________

i honestly can't help but think the worse. yes, i trust chloe and justin 100% but.. justin seems to be stressed since adam and ian wanna vote him out. so justin can easily turn this around on me and tell adam and ian everything if he is LITERALLY worried about leaving. and chloe can just turn around and tell ian and adam what i'm doing if chloe wants me out. so yes. i trust them, but my mind can't stop thinking the worse. if chloe and/ or justin think i'm a threat in this game, they can turn this all around on me and vote me out since i'm doing the most here and lying my ass off to adam and ian and in an alliance chat with them right now. i'm worried, but i'm just gonna pray this all works out.

https://youtu.be/P9aV81hAjZY

https://youtu.be/0hB313P66RE

________________________________________________________________

Adam is voted out 3-2. Thomas is voted out 4-1 at double tribal.

[buoyantsaturn]

Can you do a Bridge to Terrabithia au if you've read the book? Maybe Will as Jesse and Nico as Leslie? Im prepared for angst

ive seen the movie so i hope its pretty much the same as the book ((also thanks a lot for putting me in this mindset u better be prepared for the angst bc i can get pretty angsty ok))

im putting this under a cut bc nobody needs to see this if theyre not emotionally prepared

nico doesnt have a very good home life so he has to make his own fun, usually outside of the house and its pretty tough on him when they move to the middle of nowhere. he ends up wandering in the woods for a while before school starts and he has to go there instead

him and will hit it off pretty quick and since they live near each other nico brings will out to the woods with him to hang out. nico figures theyre probably to old to play pretend but tries anyway and will goes along with it and seems to be enjoying himself so nico takes that as a good sign

will gets picked on at school and nico jumps to defend him and finds out that will is gay and thats why people are always picking on him and nicos like ???? thats a stupid reason im gay too that doesnt give someone a reason to pick on me so theres no reason to pick on you?????

nico sneaks will into his house one day so that they can go to nicos room to pack a bag so he can spend the night at will’s house and when nico’s dad spots them nico’s like “holy crap run before he catches us” and gets the frick out of there and they run into wills house and straight up to wills room to hide

they head back to terabithia and find an old treehouse pretty deep in the woods that they spend a lot of their time in (they share their first and possibly only kiss in that treehouse rip)

they make plans to meet back at that treehouse every day and will kinda forgets one day when one of their teachers sets up a tour for him at a hospital nearby and theyre going to let him watch a surgery while hes there!!! hes so excited that he doesnt even think to tell nico where hes going and he almost invites nico when they go past his house but he figures nico wouldnt be interested in that anyway

its possibly,,,, the best day hes ever had?????? hes never been more motivated to become a doctor???? and hes so excited to tell nico about it when he gets home he almost has his teacher drop him off at nico’s house instead but then he gets home and his mom and step-dad and all of his siblings are sitting around the table like completely silent with their heads down and hes kinda freaked out????

as soon as they realize he’s there they jump up and theyre all hugging him and he doesnt understand whats happening like dont they know he was at a hospital all day??? and kayla tells him that they thought he was dead and hes just????????

he tries to get out of there and go talk to nico but they’re all like “will u dont understand you cant we all thought you were dead bc we thought u were with nico. nico’s dead will”

will fricken flips out and runs out of there and goes to the entrance to terabithia but the creeks overflowing and the rope swing they used was snapped but will still cant believe it so he goes to nicos house and pounds on the door and nicos dad opens it and this is the first time will’s ever seen him???? and hes like “u must be will, the one that left my son to die alone” will screams at him that nico cant be dead and wills mom runs over and apologizes to nicos dad and brings will back home

will,,,, cant go to school for the rest of the year. he finds out how nico died and learns every detail of it and decides that when he becomes a doctor hes gonna do everything possible to make sure that nobody else dies in the same way 

he wanders back into terabithia at the end of the summer bc he cant make himself go back any sooner and builds a little memorial for terabithia’s prince and never goes back again

holy frick im crying how could u do this to me

i hope u suffer through reading this as much as i suffered through writing it thanks a lot dang

also one last really not fun fact I once showed up half an hour late to school bc i watched the end of this movie right before i had to leave and was crying so hard that i couldnt get off the couch so not only did my mom have to drive me to school but she had to tell them why i was late and this fricken movie was the reason