#that app went to shit
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29 on tumblr is CRAZYYYY
bruh im back here bc i hate twitter now!
lmao shhhhh & chillllll
#29 years old#oof#okay anon#damn#anon#asked and answered#medievalpup#medievalpupttv#ageism on my beyonce internet#i hate twitter#that app went to shit#fuck elon musk#if you read this tag send me an ask im bored#minors go away
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have u ever been having a convo with someone and they drop something that drives u into a white-hot rage so deep u can literally fucking feel ur heart start to give out
#this shit is not good for my health#i am still in shock tbh#i was extolling the virtues of gaining weight and. this fucking girl kept referring to skinniness as “perfection”#and i can't believe this is a quote but “diversity can be hot but not for me”#i went the fuck off on her and just closed the app im not checking that again until I've cooled way off#how do you fix this#how do you explain that it is not fucking okay to be this way#preferably before any fat ppl are subjected to it#i misquoted earlier but i can't rewrite tags -_- it said “diversity can be hot it's just not for me”#which is worse i think#UGH i need to sleep i wasn't kidding abt the rage fucking with my heart
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really sucks when you realize you and a friend have just kind of grown up as two different people and don’t mesh together like you used to and like you have so much history you don’t wanna let go of but you’re absolutely miserable in the friendship
#to delete#the girl i’ve been friends with over half my life is just so insufferable now#she’s very pick me and likes to nitpick absolutely everything for no reason#absolutely DESPISES genz and tiktok for some reason#puts down everything about me and it feels targeted but she does it in ways that it comes across like it’s not#so when i call her out on picking on dumb things like kpop fans or genz i look like a psycho bitch#she very much just has to speak up on everything she dislikes instead of just letting people be happy#like it’s shit that’s not bothering anyone#she once went OFF because i’m afraid of bugs and ‘most girls’ are afraid of bugs but SHE isn’t afraid of them#and im like yes girl we pick you please stfu#it’s always just little stuff that doesn’t matter but 98% of the time has to do w something i like or don’t like#so it feels targeted and then i speak up and the rest of our friends are like ‘calm down it’s not that deep’#idk i just like…..she feels the opposite about a lot of things i feel#and then has to act superior for being opposite of me#also being so angry over a generation of young adults/kids and an app for no reason……#idk we just don’t go well together anymore and idk how to bring it up
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Falling w style, you could say
#toonami#mashle#mashle: magic and muscles#yes I went back to taking pictures instead of screenshots#the as app started using that black screen shit and I’m not gonna download something to get passed it
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“Why’s he call you Darlin’?”
on my knees begging my brain to stop trying to associate this song with Sam
#(it’s too late guys i’ve already added it to a couple playlists. i can’t help it)#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redacted sam#redacted darlin#rp audio stuff#Seven’s Blorbo Songs#music stuff#i fell down a rabbit hole of music videos on YT last night and decided to give this song a chance based on the title obviously#skipped through all the exposition just to quickly find out if i liked the song or not#and as soon as the first line came in i went head-in-hands at my desk bc i just Knew it was over for me#i hate that i like it#it’s very repetitive and giving strong Modern/Mainstream Pop-Rap-Country vibes#but i’m not too proud to admit that i eat that shit up on occasion#‘You’ve been beatin’ ‘round the bush so much you’re knockin’ off the leaves.’ goes kinda hard tho i’m ngl#‘ole boy in a Ridgeline and i drive a Chevy’ would Sam be a truck elitist? hmm#i doubt it. i see him as too practical-minded to care about brand names and shit like that#like irl i think it’s very silly. and perhaps a little questionable to hate on a ‘foreign’ vehicle. but i don’t even like trucks at all so#insecure country boys and their obsession with big trucks are ruining the road for us regular people that just want a normal ass car#but i’ll stop before i go off on a rant about america’s transportation problems#anyways. i can separate reality from fiction and i love the image of Sam in a beat up beloved old truck. cliché as it may be#getting back on track. my POINT was that the song doesn’t even necessarily fit Sam’s vibes i just. can’t undo the association#been trying to think of a way for it to fit him but that would require Darlin’ to be cheating on him and i don’t like that thought#like i love some types of angst but cheating isn’t one of them#i could view it through the context of being directed at Alexis bc i already hate her lmao but once again it doesn’t fit in canon#and i don’t know how i feel about the thought that he used to call her Darlin’ too. though it’s very possible. mmm angst#not that it has to fit with canon for me to attach a song to a character. certainly not! but i need to make it work in my mind Somehow#and i can’t even come up with a good HC to make this fit. the idea of Jealous!Sam is fun in theory but idk if i’d like it practice anyways#tldr: does this really fit canon Sam? meh. Is it forever tied to him in my mind anyways due to the use of the petname Darlin’? absolutely.#anywho. one of these days i’ll open this app to do something other than vent post or yap abt rp audio blorbos. but that day is not today!
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i miss you i mean it
hi guys !! sorry i visited hell ugh trip advisor rating 1 star ⭐️ lucky me got a coupon to involuntarily visit again soon I’ll try take pics this time ! 👹 love u all sm I hope ur all doing so lovely !! 💕
#u know it rough when I didn’t pack my fav app of all time in my suitcase#Shit I didn’t even realise 4 days went by that’s scary#it feels like 4 seconds and 4 months at the same time#Lowkey wanted to answer them all individually rn but y’all will hate me#This made me kinda emotional damn wasn’t expecting to see this even if it was like the same person I feel real again for a sec Omg ily#SORRY FOR SCARING#IM OKAY DW !!!!!#I hope y’all are doing okay !!!!!
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See, it says this is sorted by least used, but this list features, in order:
An app I have literally never opened on this phone (although I played it extensively on a previous phone)
Last used 1 week ago. Routinely used once a week
Last used 7 hours ago. I opened this app last night before I went to sleep and when I wake up in the morning my phone is telling me I haven't used it in a while and should uninstall it
Literally was using this app right at the moment that I took this screenshot
Another app I have literally never opened on this phone
Who wrote the code that the phone uses to make these suggestions????
#also re: libby i used it to check out an audiobook two days ago and when i went to listen to it last night#it told me i had no holds or loans#in this house we acknowledge the self evident fact that libby is a shit app that doesnt work
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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like just to make it known and to clarify things, this was the post that started off their rant about Uruguay and Argentina being baby nazis, why they pulled the racism card I will never know we just said your team doesn't play well lol
Immediate follow up post, and here I'll admit I was mad but rightfully so bc that was the stupidest take ever out of your nt being called lousy , futboless country behavior
#she claimed to be black Dominican but turned very quickly into USA nationalism as soon as someone from another coutnry speaks#being weird af = talking about futbol in a public social media app lmao tell me how we were weird for telling u your nt sucks#well and then she went off the rails calling every poc latine racist and shit bc obviously we are all blonde elite latines in here#and im not gonna talk anymore about them besides theyve already blocked me so peace and love on planet earth
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i CANNOT wait for this semester to be over. 23 hours remain. God.
#im gonna do nothing on saturday.#literally i am just gonna crochet madly and rewatch the terror for the first time since August#i need this. i need it.#gonna make amigurumi rats and an opossum for my friend. and nothing else.#i am so close. just gonna touch up my mock teaching portfolio in all aspects and turn it in.#idk how i went from: reworking 2 old term papers. writing from scratch 5 statements of purpose. 1 personal statement. a CV. a resume.#a video essay.#a 10k paper. a digital project with research. a self assessment. three interviews for class. a mock syllabus. a lesson plan.#a teaching philosophy. two lectures and a final to proctor.#that was my ENTIRE to-do list 3 weeks ago. not counting the research and soundwalking in a game i had to do for that 10k paper.#idk how i went from ALL THAT. to this. in that little time. with a holiday in the middle.#how the FUCK did i do that. what the shit.#i need a massive break but what the hell. what.#like. idk. i was really proud of myself on Monday for finishing that big paper bc 10k is the longest paper I've written for school.#and i wrote it in A WEEK.#most of the work was compacted into 4 days. 4 DAYS.#i did most of tha phd app work in 12!! 12 fucking days!!#i have had an extremely productive 21 days. and I'm so proud of myself for managing all that shit.#but oh my god i am so hype to become one with my couch and do a hobby bc i havent done hobbies in............. at least a month.
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where is my fat husband
#stream#i’m lonely !!!! i want a man !!!!!!#me: where’s my man#me at the same time: not leaving the house nor dating apps & also is having a mental breakdown everyday while self medicating#also i’m 90% sure my meds are starting to fail again ALSKALKSLAKSLAKLSAKLSMAKSKK#ANYWAY#i didn’t even go to gay bars when i was allowed to drink like 😭😭😭#it’s all a bunch of straight people#there’s no point#like i constantly here old queens going ‘young gays don’t do xyz’ or ‘don’t know how to xyz’ like ok girl its because that shit died like#idk probably before the pandemic truly it was dying but the pandemic was the nail in the coffin like girl …….. i turned 21 a month into#lockdowns like#ok so i did stuff illegally & went to other shit but it still was straight bars 90% of the time there’s like 6 gay bars in houston total 😭😭😭#like idk what they expect like if … those venues aren’t there & are increasingly AGAINST doing the goofy tings …. how would the YOUNG KNOW#like at this point idk i truly think that it’s kinda on the elders at this point ALSKALSKLAKSAKSLAN like yea they’re boomers at the end of#the day so like i’m not saying that they didn’t have it hard they did they did ok but. get over it ? ALSKALSKALKSLAKSLA like alright … but#i’m saying this as someone who knows the history & bullshit like ok yea everyone needs to understand what it’s like to have your community#die before ur eyes but at the same time. there’s no community now ? ALSKALSKALKSLAKSLAKSLLA like girl …#girl …….#yall HAD a community but now all that shit is gone & none of us young ppl have any funds to make that 😭😭😭#like girl i have 12$ in my bank account i dream of being able to rent a flat at some point like a ONE BEDROOM u know W A LIVING ROOM & yall#own rentals so like this is UP TO YALL …..#like ur the problem ? 😭😭😭😭😭#@gays for trump & loghouse republicans i’m looking at YALL#a lot of these mfs are liberal too - pro invasion of iraq democrat back the blue bootlickin NIMBA faggots 😭😭😭💔#anyway that’s just me bitching#i’ve been so fucking IRRITABLE today
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how the hell do u meet ppl irl. how do ppl do that shit
#having a moment#very lonely here idk#tinder was a complete bust. no matches despite goin thru p much everyone within range on the app#a friend suggested going to a game store but idk theyre kinda sparse here and last time i went to one it was almost all men#that i have 0 interest in. they didnt even have any yugioh cards or packs or anything despite advertising it#ive been to the library a few times but idk nobody rly talks to u there#i go out somewhat often to get coffee n stuff and nobody talks to u there either#granted i go to dunkin and its usually pretty empty. maybe a local spot would have more ppl#only “success” ive hadd is barq. ive added a few local furries but idk we dont rly talk#i regularly talk to 1 ive met on there tho. a trans woman. even visited her once#shes a 30 minute drive on the highway away from me despite being in the same city and she cant drive :(#i do think shes pretty id like to visit her again. im a bit nervous to ask her if she wanna do anything tho#ugh#i need to move in with one of my gfs im going crazy here#simultaneously it feels impossible for me to move out of my parents home. life shit is scary
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If I had to choose between cutting off my hand and redoing grad school apps, I'd seriously consider the hand. Be gentle with yourself, it's a fucking slog. What kind of program are you looking into?
Thank you for the reminder to be gentle. This shit has been stressful, and having for various reasons only about a month and a half to actually do focused work on applying has SUCKED. Not looking forward to potentially having to do this again in the future (it's complicated but I'll explain why in a sec), but I am SO looking forward to two weeks from now when these applications are in and it's out of my hands, as much as the waiting game itself sucks in its own way.
As for programs, I don't want to get too specific. I was a double major in undergrad, and I'm not exaggerating when I say I've literally never met anyone else with those two specific majors. (Ftr one is a STEM field and the other in the humanities.) I want to keep studying both in some capacity in the future, but to make a long story short I'm stuck in a position where I have to hold off on applying to the program in the humanities for now.
As annoyed as I am about the 'long story' part of that, I'm totally fine with prioritizing the program in STEM for now. Hell, in some ways that's a good thing given the limited amount of time I have to work on applications. But at the same time, I've greatly limited the number of schools I'm applying to so I can focus on creating well-tailored applications for their specific programs and faculty, and that means each potential rejection would leave me with a far smaller share of options. It's a bit of a risk, but damn it I'm trying my best to show how strong of a student I've been and that I would work well with their specific people. Hopefully things work out in the end.
I hope your own efforts have paid off too, wherever life has taken you.
#it's hitting me now too how badly my undergrad school prepared me for this process#besides a couple of conversations with professors about grad school and jokes about selling your soul to unethical corporations-#- we didn't get told SHIT#i've said it before and i'll say it again but do not go to a rich kid school if you are not a rich kid (this is coming from a non-rich kid)#or at the very least be prepared for people to assume you know the ins and outs of networking and stuff you've never been taught about#i'm not joking when i say the school i went to brags about how many students get job placements soon after graduation#but has next to no actual resources to help students continue their education (esp for minority students) (like myself)#it's so frustrating seeing peers of mine get cushy jobs based on who they know when i'm out here busting my ass bc idk the right people#and god forbid you want to learn more but don't have similar connections in academia! it sucks!#i know my applications' success heavily relies upon letters i'm not allowed to read written for me by professors who can vouch for me#because their names might mean something to someone who might otherwise disregard me despite how ridiculously experienced i am#knowing you're good enough but might get rejected for something that goes beyond you has to be one of the worst feelings#i already have the sneaking suspicion that i won't get accepted to one of my top three schools based on that#and i haven't even submitted my app for them yet#there's so much i hate about higher ed but dammit i still want to learn. that might be the worst part of it all.#i want to keep learning but at the end of the day it's not about what i want. it's what an institution wants FOR me.#but that will not stop me from trying or from fighting for what i want. at least i have that.#anyway sorry for the long-ass ramble and for the delay but hopefully that answers your question sufficiently enough#and hopefully what i've said is useful to someone somewhere who might be in a weird spot like this#ask#answered#anon
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everyday i thank god for making me a tumblr user and not a twitter user
#went through this shit with dsmp. mcc. it fucking sucks but unfortunately im unsurprised to hear qsmp twt is a shitfest#NOT that the community here is without any flaws#bc i think we can always do more to lift each other up as fans and create a positive internet space#but jfc hearing from friends/mutuals about how poorly people act on twitter my impression of the app is basically#just that its an echo chamber for absolutely cesspool behavior#anyone who sees this thats been affected by the racism on twitter my heart goes out to you#there is never any excuse for it and in no world do you deserve to be treated like that simply for voicing your opinions and criticisms
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to whatever demon thats entered me; thank you for making me work in drawing bc holy fucking shit i feel so good
#GDKWHRBS IM ACTUALLY NOT SEVERALLY DEPRESSED ABT IT#I CAN SORTA DRAW HOLY SHIT#I WASNT EVEN IFFY ABT THE LINE ART EITHER. I JUST STARTED GOING AND BOOM.#FJSJEHTBRKS ik they say dont shade with black however ☝️ what if i shade with a really dark red but lower the opacity? what then hmm?#(ik that rule only is supposed to be for some things not all. but tbh idk which its supposed to be for! 😭 i should really learn like.#anythint abt actually drawing bc i just had to look up what excatly is pin light on ibis 😭)#yeah uh. tbh chat. idk what the fuck im doing most of the time!#ive only recently figured out folders. which ig isnt too bad?? idk. uhhh if its been a year since they left around jan. then it should be#abt 2? years since i started using ibis. i think.#(i unironically didnt start out as digital purely bc sketchbook is a hard drawing app to use!)#(as in ‘i tried to colour smth brown on one layer using a normal brush and it made these reallt weird marks/lines where i went over it and#the opacity wasnt even down so i still dk what the fuck was up with it’ hard. also the undo button was really complicated. ily 2 finger und#3 redo 💞 i remember at first thinking that ibis was bullshit and stupid at first. look i wasnt smart alr? i couldnt even understand shit)#2023 shitty jiro looking at 2024: “who are you” 2024: “KILL YOURSELF” 🥰#i have alot of thoughts. its 6 am. im in a hotel room. i need to charge my phone real bad. jelp.
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today is the best day of my life btw. i just got an email from my public library, saying that my request for the book the idiot by fyodor dostoevsky has been approved. best day of my life. tomorrow, i am holding that book in my hands. it's going to be so spectacular.
#🍂 arian's shit#ever since i came to the us i WAS LOOKING FOR A PHYSICAL VERSION.#straight up visited three libraries all over my city and just. went straight to the classics shelves.#never found it BUTTT#i downloaded the public library app a few days ago and just put in a request for it#like they'll pack up the book for me and I need to do is show up and take it with me#AND ITS BEEN APPROVED TODAYYYY#I AM GETTING THE IDIOT BOOKKK
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