#that anti-depressants wouldn't work for me

[dragoniangirl]

I would like to share my experience with a similar medication.

My doctor has been hyper-fixated on my weight for years. Every medical issue or concern I have he links it back to my weight. When I told him a while back about my concerns about my focus issues, he said it was because I had sleep apnea which meant I wasn't getting enough oxygen to my brain when I slept. And I had sleep apnea because I was fat. Not in those exact words but it was implied.

For the longest time he kept trying to push the bariatric surgery on me. Except I was apparently supposed to loose 60lbs before they'd even do a consultation for the surgery. If I was capable of loosing that much weight, I wouldn't need the surgery. But I digress. I was very adamant. I didn't want to get surgery to loose weight. (It also helped that I had a friend who is a nurse and when I mentioned the surgery she was appalled he would even suggest it to someone like me as I'm not even in the 300lb range but he still claims I'm "morbidly obese")

He suggested I do portion control and weight my food. I did and the next time I went in to see him and I told him that's what I was doing he goes "No no. You need to be counting your calories." By that point, I decided I wasn't going to listen to any of his advice about my weight as it just kept changing no matter what I did.

During one of my more recent visits (winter of 2023 I believe) he suggested Mounjaro (which is a drug similar to Ozempic as it's meant for people with type-II diabetes). He said it would work as an appetite suppressant. That I wouldn't feel as hungry and thus I wouldn't eat as much. He had a trial kit which had five injections in it so I wouldn't have to pay anything. I figured, fine. We'll give it a try. It was a once a week injection. I could handle that. We did the first injection there so they could show me how it was done and then I'd just have to do it again on the same day for the next couple weeks. Then I'd come back and we'd see the results. He did warn me one of the side effects would be nausea. "You'll feel nauseous but that's normal with this drug." he assured me. The way he explained it, he made it sound tame. I figured I could handle that.

I was very wrong.

Day one: Didn't feel any different but I figured it was just the first day and I wouldn't be feeling the effects right away.

Day two: Woke up for work feeling a little sick. Thought I'd be okay. Had a light breakfast then went into work. Spent the majority of the day running back and forth to the bathroom being violently sick. Couldn't keep anything down.

Day three: Same as before. Felt super nauseous. Had terrible cramps like my stomach was turning in on itself. Could barely keep anything down.

Day four: Felt slightly better. Not as sick but still felt on the verge of throwing up every time I ate more than a sandwich.

Day five: Better than day before. Could eat a little more without fear of throwing up. Cramps were still there.

Day six: Finally felt fine. No longer felt nauseous and could eat more.

Day seven: Still fine. Figured the nausea was because my body was just getting used to the drug. Now that I had experienced all that, I'd be okay.

Day eight: Injection day. Felt fine the whole day. Was feeling hopeful.

Day nine: I was wrong.

Day ten: Was sicker than I'd been the previous week. Could barely function at work.

Day eleven: When leaving for work, threw up on the way to the car and noticed I'd just thrown up the other medication I was on. Decided enough was enough.

I called the doctor's office to explain what was going on and if I could stop taking the medication. (I know better than to stop a medication cold turkey) They gave me the go ahead and scheduled an appointment that week. I go in and the first thing they do is weight me. When I see the doctor he's all excited because "You lost seven pounds!"

In two weeks.

I told him that was because I wasn't eating at all. And anything I was eating was being thrown up. I told him I didn't think it was healthy to loose that much weight in that short amount of time. He looked disappointed but agreed to take me off, marking in my medical chart that I was "allergic" to Mounjaro.

The next scheduled appointment I had with him, he once again started on my weight. Said it was a shame I had such a reaction to the Mounjaro because it worked so well. I got very upset with him about that. Yelled that "of course it worked well! It essentially gave me bulimia!"

So yeah. Unless you actually need this medication to treat the condition it's meant to treat (ie Type-II Diabetes) don't fucking take it. It sickens me that actual medical doctors are recommending this to their patients.

I have been debating sharing this for some time, but with the new year weight loss ads amping up, I feel it's something I have to say. I'm worried for people's health.

Unless you've been living under a rock, you probably already know about people taking the diabetic drug ozempic for weight loss. You've probably heard the debates about the ethics of taking needed drugs away from diabetes patients and maybe even the side effect of "ozempic face." However, there is one side effect of taking these drugs that, in my opinion, people are not being warned about.

If you carefully pay attention to the television ads, you will hear them mention "pancreatitis" as a possible side effect. If you're like me a decade ago, that word probably means nothing to you. Let me warn you, however, it is no minor thing. My husband suffered from chronic pancreatitis for five agonizing years. The pain is beyond comprehension. Doctors who specialize in the pancreas describe it as the worst pain a human can endure. There is no actual cure. Little is understood about the disease, so treatment is difficult. Doctors who understand it are few and far between. It took my husband forever to get diagnosed. He went through multiple surgeries and procedures, but nothing worked. He had to go on an extremely limiting diet. If he varied from it in any way, he would have an attack. The only way to recover from an attack was to not eat at all for days, then slowly add in broth and jello. Did he lose weight? Yes. As a matter of fact, one day he stepped out of the shower, and I burst into tears at the sight of him. He was skin and bones - I could count every rib. Was it worth it to be thin? If you even ask that question, I'm concerned for your mental health.

They couldn't figure out exactly why my husband got pancreatitis. At that time, they thought only alcoholics and drug addicts got pancreatitis. This made it difficult to get compassionate medical care, unfortunately. Now they know that prescription medication (particularly diabetic medication) and high cholesterol can also cause it. Then there is another group - where they just don't know. But you better believe I would hesitate to take any medication that could cause pancreatitis. I would weigh my options carefully to assess if it was worth the risk. In my opinion, weight loss is not worth that risk.

My concern has been heightened seeing the Hers commercials for these drugs (under different names, but rest assured, it is the same thing). These commercials brag that you can get these drugs from Hers with just a simple virtual call, no questions asked. I wonder if people are fully aware of the risks of these drugs. I also wonder if we even know all of the risks yet. I also fear that the culture around these drugs could develop into an us vs. them mentality. That if it's so easy to be thin, why wouldn't you be? And some are getting dangerously thin on these drugs.

I know some diabetics who are on these drugs, and necessarily so. They tell me that it causes nausea when they eat. That's why they don't eat much. Again, that doesn't sound like a pleasant way to live. If you need it to regulate your blood sugar, that's one thing. But if you don't? Why would you do this to yourself?

My husband is now healed of pancreatitis. It was a miracle. You may not believe in that sort of thing, but I'm telling you, there is no other explanation. We had exhausted every medical solution, then the pandemic hit. We were concerned because hospitals were only taking life or death cases. What if he had a bad attack and needed an iv of pain meds? What would we do? Weeks passed - no pain. A month passed - no pain. Six weeks passed - no pain. He decided to grill a steak - something he hadn't been able to even take a nibble of in 5 years. I watched him take a bite, holding my breath. Nothing. He ate the whole thing. No pain. Five years later, still no pain. The doctors can't explain it, either.

So our story has a happy ending. Not everyone else's does. I hope people take the time to read this. If you do, please, please share it. I don't want anyone suffering needlessly.

[hussyknee]

Idk if there's enough people talking about what a gigantic energy drain Complex PTSD is. It's not just one single traumatic event, it's having lived in a traumatic situation for a long time. And in the case of child abuse, your entire formative life period. Everything is a trigger, anxiety is your default, and your brain keeps trying to keep you safe by yelling at you about everything you're doing "wrong", which will lead to pain. Your brain is a constant war zone, braced for attack, rarely relaxed, at least some part of you always hypervigilant. The stress it takes on your body is insane. It's why trauma is linked to autoimmune issues, heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and, according to one study, cancer.

Physical disability leaves you even more vulnerable and less able to live up to the impossible standards of control and "correct" behaviour your brain insists on, not to mention the free gift given to all patients of chronic illness that is medical gaslighting and patient-blaming, all of which simply compounds the trauma. Reduced physical and mental health obviously leads to systemic risk factors such as inability to pursue academic and professional qualifications, poverty and financial struggle, malnutrition, becoming unhoused or bad living conditions, exacerbated medical issues and further lack of medical resources, reliance on welfare and care networks, and becoming trapped in codependent, abusive or toxic relationships. The knock-on effects are endless.

This is all to say— if you're wondering why you can't seem to do more than the bare minimum every day when you haven't been diagnosed with a physical illness, or you're "not that disabled", or you think your symptoms are "just psychosomatic" (which means your brain is under so much intolerable stress that it's started taking a chair to the windows and destroying the furniture just to get you to NOTICE AND MAKE IT STOP): the answer is that your body is actually struggling under the kind of stress that kills trained soldiers and disables them for life. So stop trying to convince yourself that you're just not trying hard enough when what you really, desperately need to get your life on track is community, care, rest and ease.

[zooophagous]

So why do you hate the advertising industry?

Hokay so.

Let me preface this with some personal history. It's not relevant to the sins of the advertising industry perse but it illustrates how I started to grow to hate it.

I wanted to be a veterinarian growing up, but to be a vet you basically have to be good enough to get into medical school. I do not have the math chops or discipline to make it in medical school. I went into art instead, and in a desperate attempt to find some commercial viability that didn't involve moving to California, I went into graphic design.

I've been a graphic designer for about seven or eight years now and I've worn a lot of hats. One of them was working in a print shop. Now, the print shop had a lot of corporate customers who had various ad campaigns. One of them was Gate City Bank, which had a bigass stack of postcards ordered every couple months to mail to their customers.

Now, paper comes from Dakota Paper, and they make their paper the usual way. Somewhere far, far from our treeless plain there is a forest of tall trees. These trees are cut down and put on big fossil fuel burning trucks and hauled to a paper mill that turns them into pulp while spewing the most fowl odors imaginable over the neighboring town and loads the pulp up with bleach to give it a nice white color.

Then the paper is put on yet another big truck and hauled off to the local paper depot, then put on another big truck and delivered to my print shop, where I turned the paper into postcards telling people to go even deeper into debt to buy a boat because it's almost summer. The inks used are a type of nasty heat sensitive plastic that is melted to the surface of the paper with heat. Then the postcards are put on yet ANOTHER truck and sent to the bank, which puts them on ANOTHER truck and finally into the hands of their customers, who open their mail and take one look at the post card and immediately discard it.

Heaps and heaps and literal hundreds of pounds of literal garbage created at the whim of the marketing team several times a year. And thats just one bank in one city.

I came to realize very quickly that graphic design was the delicate art of turning trees into junk mail.

And wouldn't you know it there are a TON of companies that basically only do junk mail. Many of them operate under the guise of a "charity," sending you pictures of suffering children or animals and begging for handouts and when they get those handouts the executives take a nice fat cut, give some small token amount to whatever cause they pay lip service to, and then put the rest of the cash right back into making more mailers. "Direct mail marketing" they call it.

Oh but maybe it's not so bad, you can advertise online after all. Now that there's decent ad blocker out there and better anti-virus ads usually don't destroy your computer anymore just by existing.

Except now when I search for the exact business I want on Google it's buried under three or four different "promoted search items" tricking me into clicking on them only to shoot themselves in the foot because I searched for the specific result I wanted for a reason and couldn't use those other websites even if I felt like it.

And now we have advertising on YouTube and on every streaming service, forcing more and more eyes onto the ad for the brand new Buick Envision that parks itself because you're too stupid to do it on your own.

Oh thats ok maybe I'll get Spotify premium and go ad free and listen to some podcasts- SIKE we have the hosts of your show doing the song and dance now. Are you depressed and paranoid from listening to my true crime podcast about murdered and mutilated teenagers? That's ok, my sponsor Better Help can keep you sane enough to stay alive and spend more money.

It's gotten so terrible that now you have content farms, huge hubs of shell companies that crank out video after video to get more and more precious clicks. Which if the videos were innocuous maybe that wouldn't be so awful except now you have cooking hacks that can actually burn your house down and craft hacks that can electrocute you being flung into your eyes at the speed of mach fuck so some slimy internet clickbait jockey doesn't need to get a real job.

It of course goes without saying that animals are also relentlessly exploited by clickbait companies that will put them in compromising situations on purpose to create a fake fishing hack video or even just straight up killing them for sport by feeding small animals to a pufferfish that rips them apart for the camera.

And all of this, ALL of this doesn't even touch how adveritising is the death of art in general. Queer topics, any kind of interesting art, any kind of sex or substance use topics are scrubbed clean and hidden at the behest of advertisers.

Sex education, a nude statue, topics such as racism or sexism or bigotry in general have tags purged or hidden from search, even life saving information about SDTs or drug use, because if someone saw that and complained then Verizon might sell fewer tablets and we can't fucking have that.

Conservative talking heads often bitch and moan that they're being censored on social media. The stupid part is, they're right! They are being censored! But it's not by a woke mob, it's by ATT and Coca Cola not wanting their adspace sharing screen time with their stupid fucking opinions.

However, they won't ever figure that out, because the talking heads they get their marching orders from like Tucker and Jones ALSO rely on the sweet milk flowing from the sponsorship teat and they aren't about to turn on their meal ticket so they have to come up with even stupider shit to say for the train to continue rolling.

I managed to rant this far without even getting into the ads I see for the beauty industry. The other day a botox ad described wrinkles as "moderate to severe crows feet" as if wrinkles are a symptom of a fucking serious disease! Like having a flaw in your skin is a medical problem that you need thousands of dollars of literal botulism toxin to fix! I was incandescent with anger.

Advertising is a polluting, censoring, anti educational and anti art industry at it's very core. It destroys human connections, suppresses human thought and makes us hate our own bodies. It ads no value, actively detracts from value, and serves no real purpose and I believe it should be almost if not entirely banned.

[16woodsequ]

Things People Seem to Forget About Steve Rogers (aka the past is complex)

Things in the future didn't happen in a vacuum, and while Steve missed a lot of stuff while he was in the ice, he would have seen the roots of things like the Civil Rights, Women's Rights and even LGBTQ+ Rights movements in his time.

While I'm sure Steve encountered a lot of people expecting certain right-wing behaviours from him, due to his birth year and the things he missed in the ice, this doesn't mean he would act that way—even right out of the ice.

But first lets take a look at the things Steve missed and see what he did in fact know:

The atom bomb. Steve never saw the atomic fallout, but what did he see? Hydra bombs literally being flown to his home city. There is also a possibility that as a specialty team, he learned about the German Nuclear Program during the war. His unit was tied to the Strategic Science Reserve, so I wouldn't be surprised if between that, and Hydra's bomb initiatives, Steve was well aware of the potential of a bomb threat. I doubt Steve has clearance to know about the Manhattan project, and I think he would be horrified to learn about the impact of the atom bomb on Japan (especially since he essentially thwarted the same thing from happening to New York) but majorly powerful bombs would not surprise him.

• The Cold War. Steve may not have experience the Cold War, but he grew up surrounded by the outcome of the First World War after the Communist take over of Russia. The debates surrounding Communism, Socialism, and Capitalism aren't new. Steve would have grown up with them and would probably be familiar with American pro-capitalist, anti-communist rhetoric. But would he agree?

Here's some things we know about Steve: He's an artist, he grew up during the Depression which was heavily mitigated by socialist measures, he grew up poor, he grew up disabled. As an artist Steve would be well aware of the debates between the political movements, and with his background, and the success of Roosevelt's New Deal reforms, it would not surprise me if Steve leaned more towards the Socialist side of the scale.

All this to say: Steve would not be unfamiliar with the tension between Russia and the USA. Especially since even though they were allies during the war, there were already concerns that the USSR wasn't so much 'liberating' the countries they drove Germany out of, as putting them under new management.

Steve would be familiar with the tensions underlying the Cold War, and his background might lead him to have a critical view of some of the pro-Capitalist propaganda that came out during the Cold War. While I don't think Steve would approve of Russia's methods and the ultimate outcome of Communism there, I don't think he would approve of the Red Scare Witch Hunt that happened in the States either.

• Civil Rights Movement. While Steve missed the major changes that occurred during the 50s and 60s, he would not be unfamiliar with movements for equality. Steve would also not be unaware of the inequality that minorities faced in his country.

For example:

National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) was established in 1909 and is still run today. The NAACP fought and fights against discrimination and advocates for equality.

In the 30s President Roosevelt responded to "to charges that many blacks were the "last hired and first fired," [his administration] instituted changes that enabled people of all races to obtain needed job training and employment. These programs brought public works employment opportunities to African Americans, especially in the North" (Link)

"The first precedent-setting local and state level court cases to desegregate Mexican and African American schooling were decided during [the late 1930s]" (Link)

In 1941 thousands of Black Americans threatened to march on Washington for equal employments rights which pushed Roosevelt to issue an executive order that "opened national defense jobs and other government jobs to all Americans regardless of race, creed, color or national origin." (Link)

The Double Victory or Double V Campaign during the war was an explicit campaign to win the war against fascism in Europe and the war against racism as home.

All this to say, Steve would not be unfamiliar with many of the issues tackled during the Civil Rights Movement of the 50s and 60s.

Not only that, but Steve led a multi-racial special unit during the war during a time of active army segregation. Not only does he have a Black man on his team, but also a Japanese man. This would have most definitely led to backlash from higher command as well as discrimination from other units against Jones and Morita. Steve and the entire Howling Commandos would be explicitly aware of prejudice against two of their members and likely had to fight for them many times.

• Anything space travel. It's true Steve wouldn't know anything about attempts to reach the moon. But there were still several space discoveries he could know about, especially since he and Bucky are clearly interested in scientific discoveries, considering how they went to the Stark Exbo before Bucky shipped out.

Some discoveries:

Hubble's Law: In 1929 Hubble published evidence for an ever expanding universe, and thus provided evidence of the Big Bang theory.

1930: Discovery of Pluto (makes me chuckle to think this is a relatively new discovery for Steve and he wakes up to find it is a dwarf-planet now. You think Millennials are protective of Pluto? I think Steve would be too 😆.)

1937: "the first intimation that most matter in the universe is `dark matter'"

Personally I think Steve would be absolutely amazed by the advances in space travel.

• Women's Rights. Like with Civil Rights, while Steve may have missed the large movements during the 50s and 60s, he was around for the early movements. The 60s movement is called Second Wave Feminism for a reason. This is because there was already many pushes for women equality in Steve's time.

For example:

1920: White women win the right to vote. This means Steve's mother first voted in his lifetime. I feel this alone would make Steve heavily aware of inequality faced by women. (As a side note I feel that Sarah always emphasized voting to Steve since it was such a major development in her lifetime.)

Also in the 20s the Flapper trend rose, along with hemlines. Women's skirts were shorter and they smoked and drank with men. Middle-class and working-class women also worked outside of the home. The 1920s-1930s 'modern' woman is very different from the Victorian vision of a woman in petticoats and skirts.

Early Birth Control movement: Was "initiated by a public health nurse, Margaret Sanger, just as the suffrage drive was nearing its victory. The idea of woman’s right to control her own body, and especially to control her own reproduction and sexuality, added a visionary new dimension to the ideas of women’s emancipation. This movement not only endorsed educating women about existing birth control methods. It also spread the conviction that meaningful freedom for modern women meant they must be able to decide for themselves whether they would become mothers, and when."

1936: A Supreme Court decision declassified birth control information as obscene. Legalised doctor-prescribed contraceptives.

WW2 Watershed: Women serve in the army and work factory jobs. The government establishes universal childcare while women work.

Women also wore pants and form fitting clothes to work in factories. We also see Peggy wearing pants during the last assault on Hydra. While Steve may need to get used to modern fashion, he would already be familiar with the 'morale outrage' over women's clothes in his time, and probably try to manage his surprise in private as well as possible.

• LGBTQ+ Rights. Like with the rest of the equality movements, LGBTQ+ rights movements also started before the late 1900s.

1924: "Society for Human Rights is founded by Henry Gerber in Chicago. The society is the first gay rights organization as well as the oldest documented in America." This organisation was broken up soon after founding due to arrests, but it published "the first American publication for homosexuals, Friendship and Freedom."

In the 1920s and 30s "the gay and lesbian movement started taking shape. Social analysts began rejecting prior medical definitions of "inversion" or "homosexuality" as deviant.

Communities of men and women with same-sex affiliations began to grow in urban areas. Their right to gather in public places such as bars was tenuous, and police raids and harassment were common." (Link)

WW2 Watershed: While many LGBTQ people lived in rural areas or outside 'queer neighbourhoods' the war brought people from all backgrounds together. "As with most young soldiers, many had never left their homes before, and the war provided them an opportunity to find community, camaraderie, and, in some cases, first loves. These new friendships gave gay and lesbian GIs refuge from the hostility that surrounded them and allowed for a distinct subculture to develop within the military."

They still had to hide their identities for fear of persecution and a 'blue discharge', however "Gay and lesbian veterans of World War II became some of the first to fight military discrimination and blue discharges in the years following the war."

It's unclear how much Steve would have known about the gay and lesbian rights movement. But in the comics he has a gay friend Arnie Roth, and there are many meta posts (X X X) about how Steve may have lived in a queer neighbourhood.

And, according to my history professor, gay and lesbian soldiers were often protected by their friends in the army instead of outed. This is not to downplay the discrimination and pain outed veterans faced, but there was a comaraderie and understanding that developed between soldiers that protected many gay soldiers.

• Computer and the internet. The seeds of modern computers began during World War Two. Arguably it began earlier with Ada Lovelace. While technology has changed a lot for Steve, there is a long history of it's development.

Colossus Computer: Kept secret until the 70s, it's unclear if Steve's association with the SSR, Peggy (who was a code breaker before SSR) and Howard, would have led him to know anything about the "the world's first programmable, electronic, digital computer", but we see electric screens and machines being used in Captain America: The First Avenger. So he would know something of those mechanisms.

Also the first American TV was broadcasted in the 1939 World Fair, And since Steve and Bucky are already shown going to a science fair, I believe it is reasonable for Steve to know about the concept of television, though it looks much different in modern day.

• Rise of Neo-Nazis. Steve already saw the rise of fascism in his own country before the war, so while I think he would be horrified and saddened to learn of the Neo-Nazi movement, I don't think he would be surprised.

Because:

Eugenics: A large part of the Nazi campaign, this part of the movement originated and was inspired by the United States Eugenics movement. "It is important to appreciate that within the U.S. and European scientific communities these ideas were not fringe but widely held and taught in universities."

Lobotomies and institutionalisations were part of the treatments for disabled and 'weak-minded' individuals during Steve's time. With Sarah being a nurse it is likely Steve knew of these treatments and more. And as a disabled child of immigrants, I have no doubts Steve brushed up with eugenics beliefs many times.

1939: More than 20,000 people attended a Nazi rally in Madison Square while "[a]bout 100,000 anti-Nazi protesters gathered around the arena in protest".

In the comics Steve canonically has a Jewish friend, Arnie Roth. If he wasn't part of the protests against the Nazi rally, he would have heard about it and known about the rise of antisemitic sentiment in the US before the outbreak of the war.

So Where Does That Leave Us?

Steve has a history of anti-racist behaviour. While he would still have a lot to learn from the Civil Rights Movement and no doubt has unconscious biases he grew up with, he also explicitly builds a multi-racial team that would have led to clashes with systemic racism in the army. This would have inevitably led to him and the Howling Commandos taking an anti-racist stance in protection of their members.

Would Steve say the N-word? Likely not. The N-Word already held negative connotations by the 19th and early-20th century. I doubt Jones would be willing to follow a man who would knowing use the insult. 'Coloured' or 'Negro' were seen as the more acceptable terms. So Steve may use those words at first, instead of 'Black' or 'African-American'. 'Negro' is a controversial term for some Black Americans, so this would be something for him to learn, but he would not purposely by insulting or hurtful. And I believe he would adapt as quickly as possible upon learning.

Steve saw the early steps of many social movements. Given what we know about Steve—artist, disabled, immigrant, poor, raised by a single mom, gay and Jewish friend, potentially lived around queer people, worked with Peggy and smiled when she punched a sexiest, and built a multi-racial team—Steve would not only be aware of the social movements of his time, but he would be happy to learn of the developments after he went into the ice.

While it would take some time for him to learn all the changes that happened, Steve's background would led him to be pleased with the changes in society. This is the opposite of being racist, sexist, and homophobic. Some things might take some adjusting for Steve to get used to, but he is already open-minded and has a frame of reference for many of the social changes that happened.

People sometimes bring up Steve's Catholic upbringing to argue about some beliefs he might have. But while I do think this upbringing would lead to some biases, I think Steve's life experience helped counter, or helped him unlearn some of those biases, even before he hit the ice.

Also, as an Irish-Catholic, Steve would have faced some discrimination of his own. It is most certainly not on the same level as other minorities, and things were better in the 20th century. Being very clear, any discrimination Steve faced for being Irish-Catholic would not be systemic or commonplace like racism. But adding his heritage to the rest of Steve's background helps give us a better idea of why he was already open to social movements like the Civil Rights movement before the ice. And it may have made him already more understanding of LGBTQ+ people, who he may have lived around, even if he grew up being taught certain biases.

Other Things We Forget About Steve

He is quite tech-savvy. While Steve would have a lot to learn, we know he is capable. There are a lot of jokes about his technical know-how in Avengers, but I think he's actually managing very well considering it's probably only been a few weeks or months since he came out of the ice.

Examples:

Deleted scene where we see Steve using a laptop in his apartment. He presses the spacebar to pause a video, which is a keyboard shortcut. So not only can he set up a laptop to watch a video, but he already knows key shortcuts.

Deleted scene where waitress mentions 'wireless'. Steve is confused and thinks she means radio. But I think he actually knows about wi-fi at this point, but probably had never heard it referred to as 'wireless' before. By this point he knows radio is not as common, so his real confusion is why the waitress is offering him 'free radio'. If she had said free wi-fi (the more typical phrase in my opinion) I think he would have understood.

Canon scene of Steve helping Tony fix the Helicarrier engines. This is my favourite evidence because Tony asks Steve to look at the relays and Steve makes a quip that they 'seem to run on some sort of electricity' indicating he is out of his depth. But we never see Tony tell Steve what to do. Steve figures out how to fix the relays himself. Tony is busy with the debris in the rotors and the next thing we see is Steve telling Tony the relays are all good.

Steve is much better at adapting and figuring out technology than we give him credit for. This doesn't mean he won't be anxious or uncomfortable with the sheer amount of stuff he has to learn (especially if everyone keeps making jokes about it to him). But by 2014, it's clear he's already mastered all of it, which is amazing when you think about it, because that's only two years of learning.

Steve is very book smart. In the comics Steve goes to art college, implying he finished high school. Even if he did drop out of high school to work, we know Steve is very smart.

We see him unloading a whole suitcase of books in the barracks before he got the serum.

The mental math is must take to throw the shield at the right angles for it to bounce back is insane.

Steve is also known as a master tactician. So it is clear he has the brains and smarts to run his team during the war. Not only that, but he is not just Captain in name. He actually has that rank, which means he passed the Captain's exam. I also have a feeling he would have needed to pass some kind of evaluation to get the serum in the first place.

We see in Steve's 2014 apartment that his bookshelves are full of history books. Steve is a veracious reader and spends a lot of his time catching up on what he missed. Things he didn't learn or were taught differently growing up would definitely exist, but Steve is actively working to counter that.

Steve would swear. Swearing has been a constant throughout all of history. So too, the backlash against profanity. Even if Steve grew up being told not to swear he would have heard it. And, Steve became a soldier. If he didn't swear before the war, he most definitely picked up some of it then.

I think Captain America isn't supposed to swear, and I think Steve would be aware of this perception of the symbol of him. But I think when Steve is comfortable with people, he would swear. We see in Avengers he doesn't swear, but in Avengers: Age of Ultron, he does.

We joke about Steve and the "Language" line, but I think that line has something to do with Steve's history of being perceived as a symbol and as Captain America since he said it 'just slipped out'. So, while Steve may have been encouraged not to swear growing up, and expected not to swear as Captain America, I fully believe that soldier, veteran, and Irish man Steve Rogers does swear.

Wrap up

I hope you liked this deep dive into Steve's history and character.

I think it can be easy to take the past as a lump sum and view everyone in the past through one lens. We know the past was racist, sexist, and homophobic, so we view everyone from the past that way.

And while it's true things were different back then, people were most definitely fighting for change and aware of the issues. There is also a lot of nuance to the past, and a lot that can be gleaned from what we know about Steve.

It's true that Steve would have a lot to learn when it comes to terminology and specific technology, but I believe Steve's background would prepare him for a lot of the social changes that happened after he went into the ice.

[lunaticalove2]

Okay! I actually wrote the first one! I am waiting for ao3 to send me an invitation, and I'm going to caopy the story there. For now, I'm publishing it here (Story under the cut). Enjoy!

Blitzø's POV

After reuniting with Octavia, Stolas stopped being Stolas. He wouldn't eat, wouldn't speak, wouldn't get up, and I often found him gasping for air in the middle of a panic attack. I feel really bad for him, and I'm doing the best I can to help him through this tough time. He didn't even have the strenght to come to work, so now I leave him to sleep on the couch while I'm in the office or on a mission, and when I come back I make something to eat for the three of us. My biggest fear is him doing stupid things to himself while at work. I try to call him when I'm not there with him just to know he's okay. He doesn't speak much, tho. I told him he just has to pick up the phone and if he doesn't feel like saying something he can just make noises like hoots or something like that. This morning was really tough for him. Stolas tried to call Via again, cause he never gave up with that, and he finally got a response. But it wasn't what he was hoping for. The scene was something like this:

*flashback*

Blitzø:"you sure you wanna call her again? You can try tomorrow"

Stolas just nods, and Blitzø sighs softly, he can't say no to him. The phone rings and someone picks up

Stolas:"Via?!"

Octavia:"Stop calling to this number! If I ever want to talk to you again, I'll be the one to call. So stop looking for me. Bye"

And she hangs up. Stolas looks at the phone, too stunned to speak or even move. Blitzø notices and immediately runs by him.

Blitzø:"Hey, breathe. She's just going through a tough time. Just like you"

Stolas stays silent. Everything starts spinning and his vision is blurring with tears. His breath caught in his throath. Blitzø embraces him and Stolas returns the hug, and soon enough he's hyperventilating and crying in the other's shoulder

*end of flashback*

So now I'm esitant to go to work, I'm scared he's going to do something stupid. And these days he's also refusing to take his anti-depressant. I'm so worried, but I also can't leave everything to Loona and M&M. Today we have many clients, and they can't handle it alone. I decide to approach him. "hey Stols" he looks at me "I have to go to work. Are you gonna be fine on your own for a few hours?" he waits a moment and then nods "alright, I trust you. But if something, ANYTHING, happens, don't hesitate to call me" I kiss him on the forehead "see you later, big bird". And I leave the house.

Stolas's POV

I feel so useless. Blitzø just left for work and I didn't even say anything. And this morning Octavia, my sweet Via, rejected me. When I called her she literally said she didn't want to see me nor talk to me. My mind is full of thoughts, I can't think straight. Withouth noticing, I get up and suddenly I'm in the bathroom. I open the drawer and I take a blade. I deserve it, I tell myself. I starts cutting... 1, 2, 3 cuts. It feels good, and I can't stop. At one point, I don't even know how much time passed, I cut too deep and start panicking, only now realizing what I had done. I immediately get up and put my arms under the water. A few cuts stop bleeding too much after a while, but a few of them are still losing too much blood. I feel myslef on the verge of passing out, I'm so lightheaded. I need to call Blitzø. Even if I'm ashamed to do so. I grab my phone and dial his number. I wait for him to pick up doing my best to stay concious. He picks up almost immediately: "Stols? Are you ok? Something happened" I only manage to croack out a few words with the tears that were now running down my cheeks "B-Blitzø. I'm sorry" he sounds worried as he responds "I'm coming now" and he hangs up. I just need to atay concious.

Blitzø's POV

I just received the call from Stolas. I'm driving as fast as I can, maybe I even killed some people that were crossing the road, but I just need to be there for him. I arrive and burst into the door. "STOLAS!!" I yell from the kitchen. But then I hear some crying from the bathroom and I immediately run in there. I can't believe what i'm looking at right now. Stolas, my Stolas, crying in the bathroom with a blade next to him, and his arms are full of blood. I rush to his side and kick the blade out of his reach. I hug him tight, not caring if my clothes are getting wet with his blood. "I-I-I'm so sorry. I-" I shush him and tell him that it's okay as I let go and look at his arms. This is worse that I thought. Some of the cuts are very deep. I notice that he is breathing heavily, and maybe struggling to stay concious. "Stols, looks at me. Try to focus on me and don't pass out". He nods. I help him off the floor and to the sink, where I remove most of the blood. While doing this, I say "Why would you do that? It's dangerous" he is still crying, probably can't bring himself to stop, and I don't blame him for that "I-I don't know. I-I don't know what's gotten into me. I'm so sorry" I look at him and say "It's okay. Don't apologize. You're going through a tough time". When I finish washing away most of the blood, I take him on the bed, disinfect and bandage his cuts. When I'm done, I give him a cup of water, since he's still shaken and he lost much blood. "Wanna talk about it?" I ask. He shakes his head no. "Can you just... Hold me? For a bit. I'm still kinda dizzy" he says. My expressions softens and i immediately embrace him and rub his back comfortingly. After a moment, I decide to speak again: "When you feel like hurting yourself again, call me right away. I'll help you" he just nods and falls asleep 2 minutes later. I sigh as I continue holding him. It makes me really sad thinking that Stolas, the once always smiling and silly prince, just thought that he deserved to self harm. I once though he was annoying, I though he was just a horny bird that was using me as his toy. But I got to know him, and the most important of all, I learned to love him. And I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure he's safe and happy

Fic Ideas I don't feel like writing, and if someone does, tag me.

Some are a bit angsty (especially this first one. Sorry, i have a dark mind. In fact, that's my favourite)

1- Stolas, after seeing Via like we've seen in sinsmas, is in a really bad mental place, worse than before. So he just stops eating, doesn't talk much, has panic attacks often, and self harms. Blitzø knows of his relationship with food and panic attacks, but doesn't know about his self harm. One day, Stolas locks himself in the bathroom and does THAT. He accidently does a cut too deep and he starts loosing too much blood and feels himslef passing out. The only thing he brings himself to do is call out Blitzø's name. And things escalate from there, with Blitzø cleaning his cuts and helping him calm down and cope with it

2- (this one is a bit comic) after the little dance they had on sinsmas, Loona, Millie and Moxxie, since they saw and registered everything, are rubbing it in their faces and jokingly making fun of them about it

3-Just Stolitz cuddling and joking on the sofa, playing with each other

If I have any other, I'll write them down

[coolprettyleo]

be in my heart? - will smith

wc: 1.2k

tw: depression, anxiety, family angst? therapy, episodes, mental health, etc?

will smith x oc celebrini sister!

this is me trying au

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

lola's summer had been going fine. she would never admit it out loud, but she was finally seeing a therapist who was actually helping her work through her dark thoughts.

she was prescribed anti-depressants, and they had definitely helped with her mood, but she had reason to think a certain curly-haired blonde was also contributing to her overall newfound happiness.

the two had been texting, calling, and facetiming any time either of them had the chance, and the girl wasn't in any way complaining. he had been making her feel things she hadn't felt in a long time, making her realize she had been longing for that feeling.

she was currently sitting at dinner with her parents and brothers as she texted will with pink cheeks and a cheesy smile, occasionally letting out little giggles at the stupid videos he would send the girl. her brothers looked at each other with knowing eyes before smirking.

"lola," aiden said in a sing-song tone as she let out a 'hmm', eyes still glued to her phone.

"who are you texting" their little sister, charlie, smirked, joining in on the teasing.

"no one. stop looking at my phone," she said moodily, pushing her sister's head away. and finally putting her phone down.

"a little birdy told me something a few days ago." macklin smiled. her father looked between the siblings hoping to gosh they wouldn't set his daughter off.

"shut up," she said with a glare, picking up on the fact he had somehow heard of her and will.

had he been telling people?

maybe it was all some kind of joke.

her insecurities began to creep up and claw at her skin, quickly.

"c'mon, it's not bad, but imagine my surprise when I had to hear it from a stranger at the combine" he kept teasing while her sibling snickered, while lola glared.

"boys, stop bothering your sister" her father let out. knowing it wasn't long till they set her off.

"lola, how's it going with you and will?" her mother asked cluelessly asked when she came back from the bathroom. the siblings letting out laughs and 'there it is' while the girl turned pink.

"good" she mumbled playing with the bread

"that's wonderful; I have a feeling about that boy; I like him," her mother said as she took a bite out of the bread.

"me too. lola's not as mean anymore," her little brother joked as her family nodded and laughed, not knowing the spiral that little comment was about to send his oldest sister to.

lola looked at her brother with furrowed eyebrows as she excused herself and basically sprinted to the nearest bathroom. she locked the door before taking a good, long, and hard look in the mirror. seeing nothing but a shell of the person she used to be. the person her siblings used to know. the girl who would hang out with them, drive them places, and play video games, was no longer there; instead, it was a heartless bitch, and they knew and saw that.

in no way did she ever think about how they must have felt. she thought back to every time she unknowingly probably hurt their feelings. when she told charlie 'hell no' to the idea of a sleepover at her new apartment. or that time she couldn't get herself out of bed and missed RJ's sixth-grade promotion that he begged her to go to, or when she refused to fly to boston to see her brothers when they moved away. all those things added up, and it was no wonder they had deemed her mean. she deserved it.

she sniffled as she saw a call from will incoming. she cleared up her voice before answering.

"hello?" she tried her best to sound fine.

"lo? are you okay?" will say right away, hearing the shakiness in her voice.

"not really," she answered with a sniffle as she saw that will was trying to facetime her.

"what happened?" he asked worriedly. the two had been texting for weeks now, and he had finally got the girl to open up to him, so he knew she went through episodes; he just didn't think he could ever get used to seeing them.

"it's literally stupid-"

"it's not stupid if it's making you cry," he told her as she sighed.

"i'm at dinner with my family, and you know how family is. they're nosy. they started asking about you and they said something that really hurt my feelings, and now I'm crying in the bathroom"

"about me? do they not like me?" he said feeling a bit insecure.

"no, it's not you. they love you-- it's just RJ made a joke and said that ever since we've been like a thing, I haven't been as mean. and I know he only meant it as a joke, but it really hurt my feelings but I mean, I deserve it-" she sniffled, looking away from the camera.

"don't say that. you're not mean-" he stopped the girl

"compared to the old me, i am," she said

"there's no 'old me,' lola; people grow up and evolve. and if anything they know you better than anyone, they understand you're not okay all the time-"

"I don't think RJ and charlie do. they're younger they wouldn't understand it-"

"you're not giving them enough credit. from the stories you've told me they sound pretty smart," he said as she sighed.

"i feel like you always know what to say," she said

"i try," he said with a cheeky smile that made the girl giggle.

"this is embarrassing. I look like shit," she said, realizing her eyes were puffy and red.

"you're beautiful, and if I have to spend every hour in the world telling you that till it's engraved in your mind, I will," he said as lola turned a light shade of pink.

"stop," she said, covering her face as she heard will chuckle.

"i'm really excited for next week," she said dreamily as she stared into the phone. will and his family were planning to visit san jose, to scout apartments and that meant a reunion for the two growing lovebirds.

"me too. you have to take me to all your favorite spots" he said as she nodded.

she was cut off when she heard her mother's voice come from the other side of the door.

"lola honey, are you in there?"

"i'll call you later. bye beautiful," will said as she waved goodbye to him before hanging up.

she stood up and opened the door to see her mother's worried face.

"i'm sorry if we bothered you, i can have the car take you home, or even back to your apartment if you want to be alone-" her mother was cut off as lola threw her arms around her.

"I love you, mom. I'm sorry," she said softly as her mother hugged her back.

"sorry for what?" she asked concernedly

"just, for everything. i know i'm not the easiest to deal with, and for that I'm just sorry" she said as her mother shook her head

"you were never something i had to 'deal' with. I love you, and I just want you to be okay," she told her daughter before squeezing her again.

"me too," she said into her mother's neck. promising herself to change her ways. hoping to god he'd help her accomplish that promise.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Since you were asked what were your favorite hp fics, how about your not favorite hp fics? 🙃

https://www.tumblr.com/hollowed-theory-hall/760514932420820992/what-are-your-favourite-harry-potter-ships

Or ships you are against hahaha and what short reason?

I'm assuming you meant ships and not fics, and that you really want me to get controversial, huh.

So, like, I wouldn't call it "against," as I have nothing against people shipping anything, and I don't even mind seeing some of the ships on this list on occasion. These are just ships I don't personally find compelling (some of them I can find objectively compelling and are just not to my taste), so it really isn't "against", more like not my cup of tea ships.

Also, ship whatever you ship, I really don't care what anyone else ships, and these are just some of my subjective opinions. So, in no particular order:

1. Hinny

I talked about my dislike of Hinny plenty, and I have a substantial "anti hinny" tag on this blog, which I will refer to here (and the tag here, if you're interested)

2. Drarry

I talked about Drarry here. Drarry is a pairing that has so much going for it, I wish I could like it, but I find Draco's canon character annoying, so I can't ship him with Harry who's my favorite and gets only the best from me when it comes to shipping. So, it's a not my cup of tea thing.

3. Linny

Talked about them here. I just never got the impression Ginny truly respects Luna, and that sucks for Luna and this relationship.

4. Wolfstar

So, this is, I guess, a big one to say I don't particularly like, and I'll give a bit of my reasoning.

My canon-loving self can't get behind fanon Wolfstar at all. They're not even actually the characters, and as Sirius is one of my favorites, I really dislike his fanon version. Additionally, as I mentioned about Drarry, I can't really be invested in a ship where I don't feel about the characters the same way (that's a me thing), and as I love canon Sirius but am very critical of canon Remus, that also stops me from ever really liking this pairing.

But even if we ignore my own opinions about the characters and talk about canon Wolfstar — I'm not a fan.

I just don't think they work. Like, I can see them having sex during OotP, but I wouldn't call it a healthy relationship. I can see it because they're the only Mauraders left, and neither of them is in a good mental space. Like, I can see them getting into a messy situationship because they're depressed and they miss the dead, and this could be super interesting, but it isn't the form Wolfstar usually takes.

I mean, both of them were James' freinds first and each other's second. James was the most important person to Sirius, but also to Remus, I think. Like, James was the one who held the Mauraders together. Sirius would not have befriended Remus and Peter without James, I guarantee it.

I mean, it's telling both thought of the other as a traitor and potential spy during/after the war. And I think, even during the books, they never really got over it, they just kinda cast it aside.

Like, it's mostly that I can't get behind how Wolfstar is portrayed in the fandom, even when the characters stick closer to canon. I just don't see this as a good relationship. I think, if they were to get together as adults, it would be so much messier. And I can't imagine them getting together as teens during school, since, I think at that point, the interest in each other wouldn't be there. I never saw them as each other's first choice. Like if they had to choose which Maurader other than themselves to save — they'd both choose James.

It might also be my Prongsfoot agenda speaking, but, like, you can't tell me Sirius "it's been 14 years and there wasn't a day I didn't think about your father" Black wasn't in love with James Potter since, like, day 1. I honestly believe in the canon books, Sirius was in love with James (not the other way though, I think in canon it was one-sided, but James did love Sirius, just not romantically).

5. Jegulus

I need to talk about this, I guess. Like, I probably wouldn't have minded canon James being shipped with Canon Regulus (although, I'm iffy about that too, becouse James likes having "the best" and according to Harry and Slughorn Regulus is just a downgraded Sirius, so why would James go for the seemingly "lesser" Black Brother when Sirius is right there and more than willing.) But the fanon version of both of them are just really not for me.

Neither of them actually feels like the characters they are supposed to be. Like, they kinda remind me of the fanon portrayal of Percico (Percy x Nico, from Percy Jackson) back in the day (haven't been in the PJO fandom in years, so I don't know what they're up to now). Like, I think fanon Jegulus is a Percico variant, and I wonder what the Fandom overlaps is.

6. Harry x Cedric

I can get behind the idea Harry fancied Cedric a bit in 4th year. It makes sense, I understand Harry, Cedric is hot, Harry's hormonal, of course, he'd have a bit of a crush. I just don't think they would make an interesting or particularly good couple.

Like, the fact Cedric dated Cho for as long as he did tells me he would not have gotten along in a relationship with Harry. Becouse Harry and Cho are very different people who look for different things in a relationship. I think Harry would find Cedric frustrating as he found Cho if they actually tried to date or got a chance to get closer.

7. Snape x any of the golden trio

Again, no hate, just, this one is really not for me, and I never really wanted to read it.

8. Bellatrix x any of the golden trio

Same as above.

9. Vernon or Petunia with anyone other than each other

I just don't think anyone else (except maybe Marge) deserves it. I can get behind Petunia cheating on Vernon with Marge.

10. Bellamort

I talked about it here. And I just can't get behind it. I don't find them particularly interesting, I don't think Voldemort was interested in Bellatrix romantically in canon (they might've had sex), and I don't think he particularly respects her while she's obsessed with him. So, I don't find them (be it canon or fanon) compelling to read about. The fact that Bellatrix would be easy for Voldemort to be in a relationship with doesn't mean it's a good thing, I think Voldemort should struggle in a relationship. The most interesting Voldemort ships push him into a character arc, and Bellamort doesn't do that.

11. Ron x Lavender and 12. Harry x Ginny

I feel like canon speaks for itself, but I wrote a bit about Harry and Cho here.

13. Most Dumbledore ships.

Mostly becouse Dumbledore is a character I'm not usually interested in shipping. I'm interested in Grindledore because of its impact on Dumbledore's character, but, he's just not a character I want to read a romance about. This is my personal opinion.

---

I have a lot of other ships I'm indifferent towards. Like, Snape with either Lucius or Narcissa, or Pansy x Hermione, I'm not a big fan, but I don't dislike them, just indifferent.

I'm also sure I missed a bunch, but I tried to hit the big ones I don't like. Though, even with some of these, if the summary is interesting I might read a fic with them.

[ask-codeearasure]

LifeAfterDeath Rant and Headcanons

I've needed LifeAfterdeath content for a week straight, because I enjoy bisexual polyamorous Reaper and his two lovers not only with unique history, but with a few screws loose.

This rant may be unorganized too, but I think you'll live. I got tired of seeing this hanging around in the drafts and I can't be fucked to look back and fix it.

Considering how popular Reapertale is, I'm impressed Reapertale Soriel and LifeAfterDeath aren't more popular, and I'm not saying this to shame anyone. I'm just appalled. I didn't expect this outcome even though I should have considering this fandom's history with shafting Life to the side and ignoring her importance to Reaper, characterizing Reaper as a perverted scumbag that doesn't respect Geno's fucking boundaries, and characterizing Geno as a sopping wet cat that wouldn't attempt to beat Reaper's ass or yell at him in self-defense at Reaper's attempt to collect his soul.

The mischaracterizations in favor of shipping never fail to piss me off, just as a general statement, especially in terms of who Geno is in canon because in truth, he has become a twisted and manipulative son of a bitch on part of his trauma, death, watching Chara complete genocide after genocide after genocide from the Save Screen, and especially on part of his own goal. Before Sans used Papyrus to get to him, Geno had a plan to destroy his entire timeline in order to stop that cycle of genocides, and there was still a part of him that didn't believe Sans's little plan would work in place of his own. Geno is also characterized to be extremely stubborn on top of that, DETERMINED if you will, unwilling to hear Sans out until he brings Papyrus with him the second to last time they met up in the Save Screen.

I imagine even after Geno is freed, he carries a lot of baggage, and with time, his prior decisions and reality of what he almost did and could have done if Sans hadn't stepped in begins to weigh on him. Even though he is free and he has a support system and two brothers to fall back on, I don't think Geno would be truly happy with the life he's living. This was implied when Error's origin was revealed, that Error was created because Geno fucked around and found out with another stock of DETERMINATION and ended up in the Anti-Void.

Geno is the kind of character that would benefit the most from adequate support, therapy, and perhaps some anxiety medication, NOT tsundere wubification and fetishization on the part of fuckass pervert Reaper so desperate for love he's willing to violate the first bitch he can touch with no consequence to them even though Life is right fucking there and has been there for AGES. He already has a source of affection. He already has an escape from the job he absolutely despises, and he's had that escape for centuries longer than he's known Geno exists.

And that's another thing, Reaper keeps getting turned into a sex pest that doesn't know how to keep his hands to himself when in reality he is the exact fucking opposite. Reaper isn't even that fond of physical touch to begin with, as touch-starved as he may be. He avoids making connections with people most of the time unless it's to reap souls. For a long ass time he has known that whatever he touches will wilt away and die. For a long ass time he has known that the vast majority of the other gods do not like him or his brother for the possibility they introduce: that gods probably can die, that life might not be eternal for them. Reaper and Grim weren't even born from stars like the rest of them; they came from black holes.

Reaper has a very depressing complexity and unlike Grim, who befriends the others to the best of his ability despite the social struggles they face, Reaper does the complete opposite and isolates in a sense. Whatever happiness he has in something else is few and far between, and once he meets Life by hanging out in her secret garden whatchamacallit, that is when their interactions start to establish a genuine connection, that even though they hated each other at first, interacting on their own terms and in an environment completely separated from the people they both don't like gives them a common basis to grow off of.

Reaper starts to learn more about life, and Life, more about death. They grow to respect one another, they grow to adore one another through this mutual understanding and growth, and when Chara kills Life, Reaper is absolutely devastated. Aside from his brother, he just lost the one person who bothered to give a shit about him and understand him, and regardless of conflict (surrounding Reaper's connection with Chara's death and "rebirth"), Reaper works tirelessly to find Life, and at some point he does succeed in reviving her or something using a glass flower.

But no, the only established part about Reaper's character that everyone knows about is he suffers from loneliness and social isolation, but now that it somehow impedes his ability to know what's appropriate or not in interacting with Geno even though he has free access to the rest of the multiverse and sees a bajillion social situations all at the same time simultaneously. He's so isolated from most accounts of living and culture that he can't be blamed for his stereotyped and fanonized behavior. Suuuuuuure. Fucking sure.

Good fucking job with that. What if I told you he's competent despite his isolation? I get that the majority of social interaction he gets has to do with his job, with collecting the souls of dying or already dead people and that most of them are difficult in accepting their deaths and letting Death the Elder take them to the Underworld, but the Reapertale gods are also capable of existing in many areas at once across the multiverse. There is no way Reaper wouldn't know better and there is no way his pain should be used as an excuse to treat Geno like a side-piece against his will. If you want a rapist villain in Reaper, then fine, whatever, but don't fuckin romanticize this shit like it has been for the last eight years. It's fucking deplorable and go have a seat in the corner over there, you asshole.

God you fuckers make me livid, and I don't even know you.

I despise how much Life is shafted off to the side as if she's one of Reaper's normal every day friends, like he has those in the first place. You are mistaking him for Grim in that regard, and I didn't think that was possible considering how different they are both in design and personality.

The history with Life mirrors a lot of themes from Classic Toriel. Asriel and Chara get fucking bodied and everything goes to shit, she leaves her husband, yadda yadda yadda. But with Life, on top of her children dying, she is furious at the creation of the very concept of death and is horrified at Asgore enforcing that. She loves all of her creations dearly and the idea that they all have to end at some point is a reality completely alien to her as a goddess, an immortal being.

This, on top of the deaths of Asriel and Chara, were Life's first introduction to death. There wasn't any peace to be seen in those things, no benefit, no bite. All she understood was the pain they felt. This is why she hates death in the beginning, both the people that are death and the very concept of it, and interacting with Reaper the way they were in her sanctuary and over a long passage of time was one of the best ways she'd understand what death really is and why it is necessary.

Life and Death coexist because an excess of either one is a disaster waiting to happen. An excess of Life would mean overpopulation, little appreciation for life, and the depletion of resources. An excess of death would mean little population and resources. In every literal way, they balance each other out.

Before meeting Life, Reaper felt as if barely anything life had to offer applied to him, that he had nothing to look forward to since he destroys all of it anyway. His meetings with Life over time showed him that there is value in what exists around him, even if it's still little. And when Life made him that glass flower from her flames, that is what that gift represented.

Over time, Life showed Reaper that his existence (and that of Grim's too) is not a curse. And in turn, Reaper has found someone else who values him.

But how would this apply to Reaper's relationship with Geno, since in this post I said Life and Death were an item before Reaper met him? I don't fucking like that this significance of Life to Reaper has been replaced by and glued onto Geno. And no, I'm not saying that as some kind of ship war whatever the fuck it's gonna be assumed to be; my claim is the characters have been skewered, when genuinely, Reaper can value Geno for different reasons than he does Life.

Geno could be many things to Reaper on top of being another lover. Reaper could really like him because Geno is a mortal or mortal-adjacent being that doesn't fear him and treats him like he does everyone else.

Reaper could experience things he hasn't before through Geno, like finally having a relationship lacking in fear or apprehension towards him as an individual, and also whatever fixations Geno would have about science or fiction. Just because Reaper knows about mortals and all the weird shit they believe and do doesn't mean he's done anything to experience it. Knowledge and experience of the same subject are two different things to have, and Geno being the closest equivalent to Reaper understanding mortals perhaps a little better would be very interesting to write.

Maybe Geno could also be Reaper's polyamorous awakening.

Of course, I could also say Geno is Reaper's bisexual awakening or both of those things at once, but I think Reaper would have already picked up on that given he sees people all the fucking time. I could also say that technically, in Reapertale, polyamorous gods are the fucking norm, but I don't think Reaper would have thought of how that applies to him given he's only had one lover up until this point and he's limited in every other relationship category anyways.

He knows the concept, he knows it exists, he knows/knows about people who are polyamorous, but he hasn't dedicated any thought to it beyond that, if that makes sense.

I also think it would be interesting, calling back on the idea that Geno is not happy with his life on the Surface, which is what leads to him experimenting with DETERMINATION again and landing his ass in the Anti-Void. I'm aware this might be bending canon information on who and what Reaper can kill via a simple touch, because Geno might not have that immunity anymore once he's free from the Save Screen, but I don't give a shit today. I'm tired of Geno always getting cornered in the Save Screen anyways, I need a change in setting and circumstances, and he can be just as much a glitch outside the Void as he was inside of it.

What if Reaper and Geno first meet in the middle of Geno's experiments, and his appearance and attempt at reaping Geno's soul is what distracts Geno from completing the events that would have led up to the discovery of the Anti-Void? While Geno is enraged, Reaper is beyond confused, perhaps a smidge horrified as well, considering the only other living thing that could resist his touch was Chara/Chaos. And since I'm working off what I know of the True Pacifist timeline of Reapertale as well, because I FUCKING CAN, Reaper does have the comfort of knowing Chara is no longer corrupted and no longer a threat, and since Geno has no sign of corruption, that must mean his resistance to the death touch comes from something else.

And there we have an issue between Geno and Reaper that makes more sense than Geno being an uwu baby tsundere and Reaper having his actual personality and history with other characters acknowledged and how that will apply to how he interacts with and becomes interested in Geno now.

Just because it ended well with Chara to some degree, as the new Demigod of Faith, does not mean there wasn't centuries upon centuries of devastation leading up to that point, and Reaper of all people could still be reeling from that as one of Chara's primary and personal victims back then. In this light, Geno and the Demigod of Faith have some similarity I doubt anyone in this equation is happy with, even though that similarity could be driven to the extreme in Reaper's mind and only Reaper's mind on behalf of the associated trauma.

Of course, with this taken into account, there is always the possibility that Reaper would resort to using his scythe on Geno anyway, but Geno is a case he doesn't know about yet and Geno is beyond PISSED that his life was threatened by this floating goth dude in a dress.

Geno would have just as much against Reaper as Reaper would have against him, since he has died before and the Save Screen was basically his purgatory for who knows how long. Geno has been tormented not at all by Death himself, but by dying and his own version of Chara as well, forced to watch the genocide of his loved ones over and over again. Dying was used as a tool against him, and there's more complexity in that area than I think we as a fandom gives that credit for, and I'm sure Life would be able to relate with that since she's had trauma related to death and has been killed before as well.

In a manner of speaking, Death and death is what brings these characters together. Life saved Death (indirectly and from his own perception of himself), Death saved Life, Death saved Geno from fucking up his own life (indirectly), and Life could advocate for Death.

Hell, if you look at the job Reaper actually does, even though his touch can kill, you will notice that he's moreso cleaning up after death than going out of his way to enact it, and Grim is much the same. The difference is what kind of souls they interact with and whether they'll cooperate in going to the Underworld or not.

If you look, all three of these characters have connections and experiences in common, whether from Chara-related trauma or dying. They could also have the same/similar interests as well, as Reaper, Life, and Geno are all fond of puns and some mode of sciences as well, such as Life with botany, Geno with the multiverse theory and DETERMINATION experiments, and Reaper most likely with how organic matter breaks down following death and other nuggets of information he picked up from time in thousands of AUs.

But regardless of how the gods in this equation can connect to other realities, whether though just existing as concepts or through social media (which is a headcanon for how Reaper keeps up), I doubt either of them know nearly as much as Geno would considering they live by a rule of not interfering with the lives of mortals beyond what their work requires.

So Geno is going to blow both their minds and maybe get them addicted to The Lord of the Rings and Star Wars, because he is that kind of nerd to me. He'd fixate on looking into Surface mythologies after his interaction with Reaper and then be absolutely fucking confused and a little frustrated when none of them end up being a perfect fit to what Reaper is. He'd brew coffee as a peace offering to Reaper whenever he shows up after he finds out the dude likes caffeine.

I'm thinking Geno is the one who accidentally establishes a connection of genuine interest between himself and Reaper instead of Reaper constantly coming back to harass him for attention he already fucking has.

And all the effort Geno would go into to try and understand Reaper as a person, something more than a concept on paper, would be perplexing for Reaper to find out about, because most people either give up or attempt to escape whenever running into him. But Geno isn't doing that. He hasn't done that since the start regardless of whatever fear he might have. In this case, Geno's stubbornness and Determination would be mistaken for bravery or the closest thing he can get to that, and that plus his curiosity is admirable.

And if anything, it's Reaper who left the first time around in reaction to Geno's rage and inability to die from his touch. I would assume it was more out of shock than anything else as well, and Reaper couldn't think of an alternative to deal with him in the heat of the moment.

No one surprises Death itself that easily, especially not mortals, but Geno is no ordinary mortal and he would continue to surprise and amuse both Reaper and Life for the remainder of his days.

-- Sarco

[chaifootsteps]

something else that just occurred to me

when Blitz gets drunk off his face and has to be brought home from the party by Loona, it's framed like a problem because she has to take care of him. as far as parenting goes it's his worst misstep outside of his over protectiveness and smothering of her, but it's at least a momentary blip on his part, and the rest of the time he's supportive, loving and puts her ahead of anything else (something Stolas could stand to learn a thing or two about). we also see in Ozzie's he calls to let her know when he'll be home late - she's old enough not to wait up but he still does it as a courtesy

Stolas meanwhile is about to down a bottle of absinthe at the party before he sees Blitz again, then after Ozzie's is shown waking up after being passed out drunk on his floor

then again in Apology Tour he gets drunker than we've ever seen him

but when Stolas does it, his drunkenness is never framed as being all that bad or as costing him anything. The question "don't you have a daughter to get home to?" just never comes up. And Via is 17 - an older teen but still a teen; she's not 20 like Loona is and she clearly desperately needs some attention from Stolas.

With the night of Ozzies/The Circus we at least know Via was with her mother, but what's the excuse for Apology Tour? what would have happened if Via called Stolas for help with something after Ozzie's the way Loona called up Blitz? And if she's with Stella again, is Stolas really letting his daughter still have visitation with her mother now he knows for sure she tried to kill him? Is he that dumb?

But as far as the writers are concerned Via stops existing as a concern whenever Stolas is supposed to do something most parents would think twice about, because they know they have someone who's dependent on them. They don't think the audience will think this reflects poorly on him because the writers themselves haven't thought about it at all

instead his drinking is yet another thing used by the writers to get across how sad he is - both times he drinks himself into oblivion it's after a fight with Blitz and the viewer is pretty clearly supposed to judge Blitz for "making" Stolas do this by not loving him enough (or at all, tbh). It's yet another yucky parallel between Blitz and Stella, since the other time he starts drinking is at one of her parties. To the writers any emotional pain Stolas has is of the same intensity: whether being demeaned by his wife or rejected by the imp he'd been using for sex

it's the same with his anti-depressants: there's little to no examination in the text about how depression, like alcoholism, is negatively affecting his life. fans keep theorizing his bad reaction to Blitz actually having feelings in full moon was because he was shown to have run out of his meds, but even assuming they wear off that fast we don't see any difference in how he behaves to how he is normally. And given how self-centred and unempathetic he is normally, I doubt there is a difference tbh. His meds are just a shorthand for how sad he is. because that's what depressed people do, right? just take a fistful of pills on an empty stomach with nothing but alcohol in it? and take them in sporadic bursts so they can run out right when the writers need them to have an excuse for behaving like a gaslighting jerk?

honestly when they finally give Stolas his happy ending on a plate it wouldn't surprise me at all if they just wrote him to be magically cured of his depression and his alchoholism because that's how they think it works

That's a very good point, and one I don't think I've heard brought up before. It's another good example of how everyone except Stolas needs to be on their best behavior at all times. Stolas, on the other hand, is allowed to drink as much as he wants, yell as much as he wants, disregard the feelings and consent of others as much as he wants, and ignore his daughter as much as he wants.

I'm not exaggerating when I say that they could show a scene of a younger Stolas getting drunk and forgetting to feed Octavia and I firmly believe this fandom would either rush to make excuses or try to pin it on Stella.

[mirroredmemoriez]

More Denlon Thoughts

From finally posting my comparison down below about the Denlon's and John, it made me spiral even more into them.

I have said it there above and I'll say it again- Jeff's test in my eyes accounted the fact his grief would slow him down. John wouldn't have of wanted him to be able to speed through it, especially due to the fact he's getting improv brain surgery. There was a bit of a reliance on the fact that Jeff wouldn't complete his test like, halfway through Lynn's. Which, I believe sometimes the fandom doesn't think about? Yes he's, ''Slow Ass Motherfuckin Jeff.'' However, if he wasn't Saw 3 would've been way shorter- Like imagine he showed up before Amanda was having her full blown breakdown? And or mid brain surgery. Another thing I mentioned is the fact that in comparison, Lynn is handling her test much better than her husband... And in turn this actually makes him seem even MORE slow than before. What we have to think about here is though, Lynn was not dubbed the ''best'' in regards to her medical pursuits for no reason. The playing field is working way more with her, the biggest stress and issue Lynn faces whilst going through her test is Amanda. Otherwise, if you took that factor out? Yes she may be using shit like a power drill but Lynn is a fucking amazing doctor. We get to see this even before she was kidnapped because it can be said she should've been there sooner, but when she helped that patient in the hospital she literally stabilised him in almost a minute flat whilst disregarding the other doctors inputs.

Lynn's test doesn't have her constantly facing her own grief and in comparison to Jeff? We don't know whether or not she even holds a shred of need for vengeance like he does. The most we know about the impact it has had on her, is she's now addicted to anti-depressants, neglects Corbett and her marriage is so fractured she's having an affair. One thing I'll hone on in here is the child neglect... We don't get to see the way Lynn does that as much as we do Jeff. The assumption is her long work hours and being out well... Having that affair! But also how active would Lynn have been in her children's lives even prior to Dylan's death? She to me is the main ''breadwinner'' let's say and Jeff is more so the one who is regularly looking after the children, because Lynn is a literal brain surgeon where generally surgery can last from 3-5 hours to even 5-7! How much did her role as a parent change when Dylan died in regards to how active she is in Corbett's life?

Shuffling back to the games- It's also such an interesting concept to think of Lynn going through Jeff's test, I stated this before in my previous post but it's still an ever running thought for me. Jigsaw tests tend to always be specifically designed for the person within them- In the Denlon's case they're being tested for almost the exact same reason... They are husband and wife after all. So although I don't think that means oh yeah they can be inter switched! Everything is still very close to home for the both of them. Like if Lynn was face to face with Timothy Young the way Jeff was, that is the man who killed her son. Mistake or not. It's whether or not she can or wants to forgive. Lynn in theory and I guess also in practice really, is good at detaching her emotions from what is at hand. Does she like John? No- But will she ignore that in favour of living? Yes! The same way possibly in her career she has had to save the lives of people morally she doesn't agree with. However, as previously mentioned- This is so much more closer to home. So does that all go out the window for her? We just don't know.

I'll stop here for now because I'm a mad man who rambles too much- Thanks for reading if you've got this far down! -MAL OUT

[badaziraphaletakes]

what was it that caused y'all to make this blog?

Ahaha, this is an interesting question!

Well, I (Mod X) initially got the idea after seeing so many offensive (victim-blaming and/or anti-Autistic and/or misogynistic and/or transphobic, etc, etc) takes in the GO fandom, mostly about Aziraphale, and feeling powerless after having tried to discuss them with the people who wrote them and being met with more victim-blaming, denial, and in some cases outright verbal ab*se. (Like, really really bad verbal ab*se. It was wild.)

At first it was just an idle daydream.

If it had been just me that was affected, or if it had only been a couple people making the bad takes, I wouldn't have gone anywhere with it. But once I realized I wasn’t the only fan who was being hurt, it started to sound like it'd be worthwhile to actually make it.

I had been throwing the idea around for I believe a couple months, but I felt like it wouldn't make sense to actually start the blog unless I could find a take that was so clearly, obviously, unapologetically wrong and harmful, without any disingenuity or subtlety, that literally no one could look at it and come up with an argument that it wasn't wrong, and start off with that. And I didn't think I would find one like that because the hateful people in this fandom are sneaky and disingenuous and good at cloaking their bigotry in the language of respectability, and DARVO-ing people who are offended by their bigotry, and the like.

I didn’t want to start off with a post that just said like, “These takes about Aziraphale give me the ick”.

But then one Azi hater lost it enough to come out and honest-to-god actually write the literal words “Aziraphale doesn't have depression because depression doesn't exist".

(And that one was also a good one for me to start with because my degree is in psychology and I worked in psychology research for over six years. So I had the bona fides to back up my rebuttal. And I knew the right scientific, authoritative sources to point to in order to explain why OP was wrong. Instead of just being like “Everyone knows depression exists”. If that makes sense.)

I didn’t think anyone would ever actually say anything that ludicrous. But they did. For some reason they actually went there.

And I was like, “Okay, here it is. If I start with this one, I can write an ironclad refutation. And this blog might actually do some good”.

And so I created a Crowley-coded email address and fired up a silly little blog.

And to my amazement, within two weeks we were getting so many comments that I couldn’t keep up with them all, and Mod M kindly agreed to join the team, and then Mod D, and they are GREAT.

And now five months later here we are, still going strong (and still possibly the most hated blog in the fandom 😁), and I couldn't be prouder.

[ladykakata]

It’s a nice thought but I don’t think the writers were considering Ian’s medication when they were writing that scene to be honest. They barely considered his medication at all in the last few seasons. He’s always been confused about Mickey and Terry and I think that shows in how cold he acts in that scene

Ian's medication became more background, but it wasn't forgotten; he was visibly taking medication when Mickey and Kev were silently communicating about the 'event' in The Alibi that later turned out to be the surprise wedding anniversary, and in order Carl, Lip then Mickey asked Ian on his wedding day if he had taken his medication, with the notes that the day was going to be stressful.

True, he was a little confused, but at the same time, he did feel pity for Terry; Mickey was initially the one spitting venom at Terry's state when he was first brought home and when asked wouldn't Ian feel the same about a disabled Frank, somewhat surprisingly Ian said he wouldn't wish that on Frank. Bearing in mind Ian has also viscerally hated Frank in the past, and the two have had arguments about whose family is worse.

(Ian, I love you, but I'm sorry, MICKEY wins that fight hands down. Frank has never to my knowledge tried to rape your sisters or murder you for being gay)

I do wonder if they talked later and Mickey reveals that moment between himself and Terry when he was spoonfeeding him and they begrudgingly admit the other might have been half-decent if they weren't who they were. Despite everything, Mickey helped Terry, and Ian helped them both once he got Mickey's permission to do so. The little exchange in which Ian doesn't see why they should use their money to get a nurse for Terry and Mickey sharply countering he'd do it for Ian makes me think Ian realised this was a far bigger emotional issue and he wasn't as flippant in dismissing it.

I dunno, the scene makes sense if we took the anti-depressants into consideration, but it works also if it wasn't taken into consideration as well.

[k-odyssey]

I've finally watched episode 8 of Lovely Runner.

First of all, Sun Jae's so cute! I love the duality of him, being both a cool superstar and the kind of man who barely manages to act normal around his crush. He works so hard to conceal just how much he likes her!

Second: that was a good first kiss. (Yes, I remember the drunken teenage kiss but that doesn't really count for me. They didn't have the same level of information back then. He was a teenager and she was drunk.) I liked that he sensed her pulling back, and let her meet him halfway instead. She had a choice in this, and she decided she wanted him.

It especially matters for him, I think, because he's very conscious of the fact that he liked her first and (kinda) liked her more. She's turned him away before/there's history. So it's basic decency but also, of course he wouldn't force anything on her. He wouldn't have said a word if she hadn't spoken about her feelings first. Thanks drunken friend spilling all of Sun Jae's secrets in front of the girl he likes, I guess. And he didn't do it on purpose either lol.

I don't usually get how a character would still be in love with their first crush at age 30 but Sun Jae does a convincing job. And the Sol he knew is pretty much exactly the same Sol as now. So it tracks. Plus it must be hard, as a celebrity, to figure out if people sincerely like you. So there is the appeal of someone from long ago, who knew you before they turned you into a marketing product. (Although technically Sol never knew him as anything other than Sun Jae who is/ who'll become an idol. But he doesn't know that. Will she ever tell him the whole truth?)

Third: this is exactly what I expected from the psycho taxi driver, and my point stands about the crime aspect of the story. Though you could argue that Sun Jae not being depressed, he didn't take anti-anxiety drugs, which might be why he's alive this time. But I have a feeling he opened his door even though he knew he was in danger!! Which they always do, and it kills me. Would it be so hard to write a scene where a character does NOT have a choice in being harmed? But I should reserve judgement, I haven't seen the flashback yet.

Also, as always, I'm sad that we rarely get dramas about people with visible disabilities and when we do, that part gets erased as the story goes on. It was cool to see a character in a wheelchair, but of course she'd walk again in her happy ending... And it feels like she gets a job because she can walk, pretty much. I hope we get to see her try to change the world for wheelchair users, even if it's in the background, just a little bit. That'd be cool, knowing what she went through.

[jumpywhumpywriter]

Spinoff Story Vampire & Vampire Hunter part 10

Warnings: captured vampire, whumper turned whumpee, anti-depressants and mentioned severe depression, awkward passive-agressive heart-to-heart, Alex being absolutely clueless on how human emotions work

Mallory got to feet, unsteady until he found his balance, and walked out without another word, still looking a bit out of touch with reality.

Alex frowned and trailed after the hunter through the facility, catching a lot of glares from other wary hunters who hurried to get out of the way. He followed as Mallory made his way out of the building entirely, emerging outside to get some fresh air.

Alex hesitated in the doorway, watching the hunter walk over and slump into a wooden bench nearby, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. Then he decided to approach.

"Mallory? Mind if I--"

"No," Mallory snipped without opening his eyes, "you may not."

Alex paused, then sat down next to him anyway.

"Of course you wouldn't listen," Mallory muttered under his breath. "Can't I have one moment of peace without you sticking your nose in my business? Why are you even here? You already got what you wanted, there's no need to keep harassing me..."

Alex chewed his lip, scratching his mind for the words to say. "I... couldn't help but notice your blood tasted different," he blurted. Then grimaced. Probably not the best way to start the conversation, considering everything revolving around the word 'blood' typically meant bad news to Mallory.

"So?" Mallory challenged flatly, still not opening his eyes. "Why does it matter?"

Alex's brow furrowed slightly. "During the feeding you just seemed kind of... I don't know, disconnected. And along with the funny taste in your blood, I was curious as to what the cause might be?"

Mallory finally opened his eyes, and Alex caught a glimpse of embarrassed guilt with a hint of shame in his expression before he pointedly looked away to hide it. "I don't know," he mumbled. "Probably just caught a mild cold or something."

Alex could hear his heartbeat quicken for a second. Liar. "Mmm, no, I think you do know," he pressed with a fang-filled grin.

Mallory winced. Right. Vampire hearing. He'd forgotten. "...I don't want to talk about it," he whispered, half to himself. Then raised his voice. "Go away, Alex -- just leave me alone. Can't you do me that one favor? Our agreement was my blood for your help -- I don't want to talk to you."

Alex slowly tilted his head to the side, regarding him coolly. "I think you do want to talk to me," he stated confidently. "You just don't want to let your guard down around me. But I think secretly, you wish to speak with me, as the only other person who understands. Who knows what you went through five years ago."

"Because of you," Mallory spat, eyes flaring. "You're the reason I'm like this!"

Alex nodded. "I am. But if you hadn't gone through what you went through, you wouldn't have known who I was, and known to come to me for help finding the vampire clan. Life has a funny way of making things work out in the end." He startled when Malloy abruptly stood up from the bench and whirled on him, face twisted with anger as he threw his hands up uselessly.

"There you go again, making it all about you!" He snarled loudly. "You always find some twisted way to glorify yourself! It's disgusting!"

Alex blinked in surprise at the uncharacteristic outburst, but Mallory was far from finished.

"You claim to 'understand', but you don't know anything about me! When you had me in your mansion, you almost killed me half a dozen times through sheer incompetence alone!" The hunter roared. "If Anisa hadn't given you instructions, you would have killed me already! And you have the sheer audacity to claim you understand what I went through?!" His chest was heaving, hands shaking with anger, but he was swaying on his feet, looking a little dazed and pale.

⏪️ Back Next ⏩️

Masterlist

@scoundrelwithboba @lumpofsand @isikedmyself878 @iamheretohurt @fleur-a-whump

@ay5ksal @otterfrost @sausages-things @togzy @floral-comet-whump

@whump-till-ya-jump @cravesunconditionallove @whumpwritinglover222 @nevermore-ramblings @mj-or-say10

@tippytappytyping

[catras-breakup-song]

TW: spop antis

sometimes i think about this post, by someone whose account appears to be gone now (or the username was changed), especially with this part in particular considering my WHOLE ENTIRE BLOG is themed around "potential breakup song" by aly & aj since the latter is catra's voice actress, as well as this edit:

use songs for catra that really work better with adora (for ex, "911" by Elise or "Potential Breakup Song" by Aly & AJ), because the songs would typically be from the victim's POV (which i find funny in the worst way tbh)

idk, it's just, like, i do think it works well from catra's POV because of the attitude she has about adora and how she sees it from her perspective (whether right or wrong), and her general badassery in showing others up. it actually wouldn't make much sense to me if adora was the focus instead, especially because she never feels that way about catra in return.

i also hate the way this post makes me feel because there are other comfort catradora edits or otherwise just fanmade videos that i enjoy, such as this one with "the great war" by taylor swift being my absolute favorite of all time, or this one to "toxic" by britney spears which does in fact make fun of antis (and was posted on my birthday!).

she-ra is my hyperfixation media, if not a special interest outright by now after four consecutive years, and part of the way i interact and relate with it is through edits & AMVs. so, if these criticisms are valid in any way, then that kinda hurts a lot and damages my ego.

i did comment this on my main blog a while back under someone's post (i can't remember whose/which, sorry):

i've had a flip-floppy history bc after a couple years, the anti side of the argument was actually convincing at first, but then i realized media literacy below surface-level is good actually, and being depressed over thinking i shouldn't like a ship i'm so hyperfixated on wasn't healthy, so i'm back to normal now amen! at the end of the day, if it's a well-written ship (catradora), then i support it wholeheartedly, and if it's a disgusting ship then i'm a huge fan of toxic yuri 🙏 either way, i win 🗣‼️🔊

anyhow, this is just me thinking/venting out loud, and i'm a bit afraid of any antis finding this post and reposting/talking about it, so reblogs are off and please do not harass me over how i feel here...

[soaps-mohawk]

also i can’t remember if you’ve touched on this before, but if omega was depressed for an extended period of time (like WAY longer than a few weeks, more like multiple months) how would they get her out of it? because the boys would def go about it a different way than a traditional pack like omega’s family or like an institute would.

i imagine the institutes would probably favor some sort of scruffing and sedation type thing instead of like ,, mental healing but who knows! curious on your thoughts ab that

So, speaking generally, a lot of it kind of depends on what's causing the depression situationally or if it's just caused by chemical imbalances in the brain. If the depression is being caused by a situation, then they'd probably do their best to accommodate or solve what's causing the depression. If it's a splitting of the pack, then they'd likely try sending the omega to the satellite pack to see if they can adjust better there. If there's unrest in the pack that's enough to be affecting omegas that way, then they'll look at things like conflict resolution.

Anti-depressants (and other mental health medications) do exist in the world of CRCB, so regardless of the cause of the depression, if it's lasting longer than a couple weeks and fixing the situational issues isn't working, then the pack will likely seek medical advice and consider things like anti-depressants.

Of course, all of it depends on the pack and how decent they are towards omegas. If the reader had gotten depressed in her family pack, I don't think she would have gotten help, honestly. Her father likely would have pulled the "you're fine, stop being dramatic" type of bs. Of course, it is possible (like in our world) for the depression to worsen if nothing is done and of course, can lead to a tragic ending.

Institutes...it depends on the institute. FIOT wouldn't want the reputation of not caring for their omegas health and having omegas die while enrolled, so they'd put effort into helping their omegas. You can almost guarantee omegas go into depressions at institutes, especially early on after being separated from their family pack. Less...decent institutes might not help depressed omegas either because they don't care or because they don't have the resources to help.

In the case of the reader and the 141, of course things are different. Depending on the situation, like what happened in chapter 23, there's not a lot that can be done sometimes. They obviously can't send the reader out into the field to be around her pack, and they can't just call back whoever is gone if they're in the middle of an important assignment or a deployment.

Obviously they're going to try and help the reader as much as they can, but also they'll go to Dr. Keller and get a professional opinion. Like the queen she is, Dr. Keller can help figure out the best course of action depending on the situation that's making the reader depressed for that long. I can almost guarantee she'd recommend anti-depressants, even just for the short term to help stabilize the reader until the situation improves, or for the long term if it's needed. The guys would be down for it. They trust Dr. Keller, and they want the best for their omega. While they can help to a degree, sometimes it's not enough. That can be hard on betas since the well-being and support of the pack members is part of their natural instincts, and if that's failing, the betas can kind of place blame on themselves, even if they know it's not really their fault. Of course, there's help for that too.

So yeah, that's how that works. I'm half out of it so if this makes zero sense, let me know and I'll come back to it tomorrow.