#that anti-depressants wouldn't work for me

[dragoniangirl]

I would like to share my experience with a similar medication.

My doctor has been hyper-fixated on my weight for years. Every medical issue or concern I have he links it back to my weight. When I told him a while back about my concerns about my focus issues, he said it was because I had sleep apnea which meant I wasn't getting enough oxygen to my brain when I slept. And I had sleep apnea because I was fat. Not in those exact words but it was implied.

For the longest time he kept trying to push the bariatric surgery on me. Except I was apparently supposed to loose 60lbs before they'd even do a consultation for the surgery. If I was capable of loosing that much weight, I wouldn't need the surgery. But I digress. I was very adamant. I didn't want to get surgery to loose weight. (It also helped that I had a friend who is a nurse and when I mentioned the surgery she was appalled he would even suggest it to someone like me as I'm not even in the 300lb range but he still claims I'm "morbidly obese")

He suggested I do portion control and weight my food. I did and the next time I went in to see him and I told him that's what I was doing he goes "No no. You need to be counting your calories." By that point, I decided I wasn't going to listen to any of his advice about my weight as it just kept changing no matter what I did.

During one of my more recent visits (winter of 2023 I believe) he suggested Mounjaro (which is a drug similar to Ozempic as it's meant for people with type-II diabetes). He said it would work as an appetite suppressant. That I wouldn't feel as hungry and thus I wouldn't eat as much. He had a trial kit which had five injections in it so I wouldn't have to pay anything. I figured, fine. We'll give it a try. It was a once a week injection. I could handle that. We did the first injection there so they could show me how it was done and then I'd just have to do it again on the same day for the next couple weeks. Then I'd come back and we'd see the results. He did warn me one of the side effects would be nausea. "You'll feel nauseous but that's normal with this drug." he assured me. The way he explained it, he made it sound tame. I figured I could handle that.

I was very wrong.

Day one: Didn't feel any different but I figured it was just the first day and I wouldn't be feeling the effects right away.

Day two: Woke up for work feeling a little sick. Thought I'd be okay. Had a light breakfast then went into work. Spent the majority of the day running back and forth to the bathroom being violently sick. Couldn't keep anything down.

Day three: Same as before. Felt super nauseous. Had terrible cramps like my stomach was turning in on itself. Could barely keep anything down.

Day four: Felt slightly better. Not as sick but still felt on the verge of throwing up every time I ate more than a sandwich.

Day five: Better than day before. Could eat a little more without fear of throwing up. Cramps were still there.

Day six: Finally felt fine. No longer felt nauseous and could eat more.

Day seven: Still fine. Figured the nausea was because my body was just getting used to the drug. Now that I had experienced all that, I'd be okay.

Day eight: Injection day. Felt fine the whole day. Was feeling hopeful.

Day nine: I was wrong.

Day ten: Was sicker than I'd been the previous week. Could barely function at work.

Day eleven: When leaving for work, threw up on the way to the car and noticed I'd just thrown up the other medication I was on. Decided enough was enough.

I called the doctor's office to explain what was going on and if I could stop taking the medication. (I know better than to stop a medication cold turkey) They gave me the go ahead and scheduled an appointment that week. I go in and the first thing they do is weight me. When I see the doctor he's all excited because "You lost seven pounds!"

In two weeks.

I told him that was because I wasn't eating at all. And anything I was eating was being thrown up. I told him I didn't think it was healthy to loose that much weight in that short amount of time. He looked disappointed but agreed to take me off, marking in my medical chart that I was "allergic" to Mounjaro.

The next scheduled appointment I had with him, he once again started on my weight. Said it was a shame I had such a reaction to the Mounjaro because it worked so well. I got very upset with him about that. Yelled that "of course it worked well! It essentially gave me bulimia!"

So yeah. Unless you actually need this medication to treat the condition it's meant to treat (ie Type-II Diabetes) don't fucking take it. It sickens me that actual medical doctors are recommending this to their patients.

I have been debating sharing this for some time, but with the new year weight loss ads amping up, I feel it's something I have to say. I'm worried for people's health.

Unless you've been living under a rock, you probably already know about people taking the diabetic drug ozempic for weight loss. You've probably heard the debates about the ethics of taking needed drugs away from diabetes patients and maybe even the side effect of "ozempic face." However, there is one side effect of taking these drugs that, in my opinion, people are not being warned about.

If you carefully pay attention to the television ads, you will hear them mention "pancreatitis" as a possible side effect. If you're like me a decade ago, that word probably means nothing to you. Let me warn you, however, it is no minor thing. My husband suffered from chronic pancreatitis for five agonizing years. The pain is beyond comprehension. Doctors who specialize in the pancreas describe it as the worst pain a human can endure. There is no actual cure. Little is understood about the disease, so treatment is difficult. Doctors who understand it are few and far between. It took my husband forever to get diagnosed. He went through multiple surgeries and procedures, but nothing worked. He had to go on an extremely limiting diet. If he varied from it in any way, he would have an attack. The only way to recover from an attack was to not eat at all for days, then slowly add in broth and jello. Did he lose weight? Yes. As a matter of fact, one day he stepped out of the shower, and I burst into tears at the sight of him. He was skin and bones - I could count every rib. Was it worth it to be thin? If you even ask that question, I'm concerned for your mental health.

They couldn't figure out exactly why my husband got pancreatitis. At that time, they thought only alcoholics and drug addicts got pancreatitis. This made it difficult to get compassionate medical care, unfortunately. Now they know that prescription medication (particularly diabetic medication) and high cholesterol can also cause it. Then there is another group - where they just don't know. But you better believe I would hesitate to take any medication that could cause pancreatitis. I would weigh my options carefully to assess if it was worth the risk. In my opinion, weight loss is not worth that risk.

My concern has been heightened seeing the Hers commercials for these drugs (under different names, but rest assured, it is the same thing). These commercials brag that you can get these drugs from Hers with just a simple virtual call, no questions asked. I wonder if people are fully aware of the risks of these drugs. I also wonder if we even know all of the risks yet. I also fear that the culture around these drugs could develop into an us vs. them mentality. That if it's so easy to be thin, why wouldn't you be? And some are getting dangerously thin on these drugs.

I know some diabetics who are on these drugs, and necessarily so. They tell me that it causes nausea when they eat. That's why they don't eat much. Again, that doesn't sound like a pleasant way to live. If you need it to regulate your blood sugar, that's one thing. But if you don't? Why would you do this to yourself?

My husband is now healed of pancreatitis. It was a miracle. You may not believe in that sort of thing, but I'm telling you, there is no other explanation. We had exhausted every medical solution, then the pandemic hit. We were concerned because hospitals were only taking life or death cases. What if he had a bad attack and needed an iv of pain meds? What would we do? Weeks passed - no pain. A month passed - no pain. Six weeks passed - no pain. He decided to grill a steak - something he hadn't been able to even take a nibble of in 5 years. I watched him take a bite, holding my breath. Nothing. He ate the whole thing. No pain. Five years later, still no pain. The doctors can't explain it, either.

So our story has a happy ending. Not everyone else's does. I hope people take the time to read this. If you do, please, please share it. I don't want anyone suffering needlessly.

[coolprettyleo]

be in my heart? - will smith

wc: 1.2k

tw: depression, anxiety, family angst? therapy, episodes, mental health, etc?

will smith x oc celebrini sister!

this is me trying au

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

lola's summer had been going fine. she would never admit it out loud, but she was finally seeing a therapist who was actually helping her work through her dark thoughts.

she was prescribed anti-depressants, and they had definitely helped with her mood, but she had reason to think a certain curly-haired blonde was also contributing to her overall newfound happiness.

the two had been texting, calling, and facetiming any time either of them had the chance, and the girl wasn't in any way complaining. he had been making her feel things she hadn't felt in a long time, making her realize she had been longing for that feeling.

she was currently sitting at dinner with her parents and brothers as she texted will with pink cheeks and a cheesy smile, occasionally letting out little giggles at the stupid videos he would send the girl. her brothers looked at each other with knowing eyes before smirking.

"lola," aiden said in a sing-song tone as she let out a 'hmm', eyes still glued to her phone.

"who are you texting" their little sister, charlie, smirked, joining in on the teasing.

"no one. stop looking at my phone," she said moodily, pushing her sister's head away. and finally putting her phone down.

"a little birdy told me something a few days ago." macklin smiled. her father looked between the siblings hoping to gosh they wouldn't set his daughter off.

"shut up," she said with a glare, picking up on the fact he had somehow heard of her and will.

had he been telling people?

maybe it was all some kind of joke.

her insecurities began to creep up and claw at her skin, quickly.

"c'mon, it's not bad, but imagine my surprise when I had to hear it from a stranger at the combine" he kept teasing while her sibling snickered, while lola glared.

"boys, stop bothering your sister" her father let out. knowing it wasn't long till they set her off.

"lola, how's it going with you and will?" her mother asked cluelessly asked when she came back from the bathroom. the siblings letting out laughs and 'there it is' while the girl turned pink.

"good" she mumbled playing with the bread

"that's wonderful; I have a feeling about that boy; I like him," her mother said as she took a bite out of the bread.

"me too. lola's not as mean anymore," her little brother joked as her family nodded and laughed, not knowing the spiral that little comment was about to send his oldest sister to.

lola looked at her brother with furrowed eyebrows as she excused herself and basically sprinted to the nearest bathroom. she locked the door before taking a good, long, and hard look in the mirror. seeing nothing but a shell of the person she used to be. the person her siblings used to know. the girl who would hang out with them, drive them places, and play video games, was no longer there; instead, it was a heartless bitch, and they knew and saw that.

in no way did she ever think about how they must have felt. she thought back to every time she unknowingly probably hurt their feelings. when she told charlie 'hell no' to the idea of a sleepover at her new apartment. or that time she couldn't get herself out of bed and missed RJ's sixth-grade promotion that he begged her to go to, or when she refused to fly to boston to see her brothers when they moved away. all those things added up, and it was no wonder they had deemed her mean. she deserved it.

she sniffled as she saw a call from will incoming. she cleared up her voice before answering.

"hello?" she tried her best to sound fine.

"lo? are you okay?" will say right away, hearing the shakiness in her voice.

"not really," she answered with a sniffle as she saw that will was trying to facetime her.

"what happened?" he asked worriedly. the two had been texting for weeks now, and he had finally got the girl to open up to him, so he knew she went through episodes; he just didn't think he could ever get used to seeing them.

"it's literally stupid-"

"it's not stupid if it's making you cry," he told her as she sighed.

"i'm at dinner with my family, and you know how family is. they're nosy. they started asking about you and they said something that really hurt my feelings, and now I'm crying in the bathroom"

"about me? do they not like me?" he said feeling a bit insecure.

"no, it's not you. they love you-- it's just RJ made a joke and said that ever since we've been like a thing, I haven't been as mean. and I know he only meant it as a joke, but it really hurt my feelings but I mean, I deserve it-" she sniffled, looking away from the camera.

"don't say that. you're not mean-" he stopped the girl

"compared to the old me, i am," she said

"there's no 'old me,' lola; people grow up and evolve. and if anything they know you better than anyone, they understand you're not okay all the time-"

"I don't think RJ and charlie do. they're younger they wouldn't understand it-"

"you're not giving them enough credit. from the stories you've told me they sound pretty smart," he said as she sighed.

"i feel like you always know what to say," she said

"i try," he said with a cheeky smile that made the girl giggle.

"this is embarrassing. I look like shit," she said, realizing her eyes were puffy and red.

"you're beautiful, and if I have to spend every hour in the world telling you that till it's engraved in your mind, I will," he said as lola turned a light shade of pink.

"stop," she said, covering her face as she heard will chuckle.

"i'm really excited for next week," she said dreamily as she stared into the phone. will and his family were planning to visit san jose, to scout apartments and that meant a reunion for the two growing lovebirds.

"me too. you have to take me to all your favorite spots" he said as she nodded.

she was cut off when she heard her mother's voice come from the other side of the door.

"lola honey, are you in there?"

"i'll call you later. bye beautiful," will said as she waved goodbye to him before hanging up.

she stood up and opened the door to see her mother's worried face.

"i'm sorry if we bothered you, i can have the car take you home, or even back to your apartment if you want to be alone-" her mother was cut off as lola threw her arms around her.

"I love you, mom. I'm sorry," she said softly as her mother hugged her back.

"sorry for what?" she asked concernedly

"just, for everything. i know i'm not the easiest to deal with, and for that I'm just sorry" she said as her mother shook her head

"you were never something i had to 'deal' with. I love you, and I just want you to be okay," she told her daughter before squeezing her again.

"me too," she said into her mother's neck. promising herself to change her ways. hoping to god he'd help her accomplish that promise.

[16woodsequ]

Things People Seem to Forget About Steve Rogers (aka the past is complex)

Things in the future didn't happen in a vacuum, and while Steve missed a lot of stuff while he was in the ice, he would have seen the roots of things like the Civil Rights, Women's Rights and even LGBTQ+ Rights movements in his time.

While I'm sure Steve encountered a lot of people expecting certain right-wing behaviours from him, due to his birth year and the things he missed in the ice, this doesn't mean he would act that way—even right out of the ice.

But first lets take a look at the things Steve missed and see what he did in fact know:

The atom bomb. Steve never saw the atomic fallout, but what did he see? Hydra bombs literally being flown to his home city. There is also a possibility that as a specialty team, he learned about the German Nuclear Program during the war. His unit was tied to the Strategic Science Reserve, so I wouldn't be surprised if between that, and Hydra's bomb initiatives, Steve was well aware of the potential of a bomb threat. I doubt Steve has clearance to know about the Manhattan project, and I think he would be horrified to learn about the impact of the atom bomb on Japan (especially since he essentially thwarted the same thing from happening to New York) but majorly powerful bombs would not surprise him.

• The Cold War. Steve may not have experience the Cold War, but he grew up surrounded by the outcome of the First World War after the Communist take over of Russia. The debates surrounding Communism, Socialism, and Capitalism aren't new. Steve would have grown up with them and would probably be familiar with American pro-capitalist, anti-communist rhetoric. But would he agree?

Here's some things we know about Steve: He's an artist, he grew up during the Depression which was heavily mitigated by socialist measures, he grew up poor, he grew up disabled. As an artist Steve would be well aware of the debates between the political movements, and with his background, and the success of Roosevelt's New Deal reforms, it would not surprise me if Steve leaned more towards the Socialist side of the scale.

All this to say: Steve would not be unfamiliar with the tension between Russia and the USA. Especially since even though they were allies during the war, there were already concerns that the USSR wasn't so much 'liberating' the countries they drove Germany out of, as putting them under new management.

Steve would be familiar with the tensions underlying the Cold War, and his background might lead him to have a critical view of some of the pro-Capitalist propaganda that came out during the Cold War. While I don't think Steve would approve of Russia's methods and the ultimate outcome of Communism there, I don't think he would approve of the Red Scare Witch Hunt that happened in the States either.

• Civil Rights Movement. While Steve missed the major changes that occurred during the 50s and 60s, he would not be unfamiliar with movements for equality. Steve would also not be unaware of the inequality that minorities faced in his country.

For example:

National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) was established in 1909 and is still run today. The NAACP fought and fights against discrimination and advocates for equality.

In the 30s President Roosevelt responded to "to charges that many blacks were the "last hired and first fired," [his administration] instituted changes that enabled people of all races to obtain needed job training and employment. These programs brought public works employment opportunities to African Americans, especially in the North" (Link)

"The first precedent-setting local and state level court cases to desegregate Mexican and African American schooling were decided during [the late 1930s]" (Link)

In 1941 thousands of Black Americans threatened to march on Washington for equal employments rights which pushed Roosevelt to issue an executive order that "opened national defense jobs and other government jobs to all Americans regardless of race, creed, color or national origin." (Link)

The Double Victory or Double V Campaign during the war was an explicit campaign to win the war against fascism in Europe and the war against racism as home.

All this to say, Steve would not be unfamiliar with many of the issues tackled during the Civil Rights Movement of the 50s and 60s.

Not only that, but Steve led a multi-racial special unit during the war during a time of active army segregation. Not only does he have a Black man on his team, but also a Japanese man. This would have most definitely led to backlash from higher command as well as discrimination from other units against Jones and Morita. Steve and the entire Howling Commandos would be explicitly aware of prejudice against two of their members and likely had to fight for them many times.

• Anything space travel. It's true Steve wouldn't know anything about attempts to reach the moon. But there were still several space discoveries he could know about, especially since he and Bucky are clearly interested in scientific discoveries, considering how they went to the Stark Exbo before Bucky shipped out.

Some discoveries:

Hubble's Law: In 1929 Hubble published evidence for an ever expanding universe, and thus provided evidence of the Big Bang theory.

1930: Discovery of Pluto (makes me chuckle to think this is a relatively new discovery for Steve and he wakes up to find it is a dwarf-planet now. You think Millennials are protective of Pluto? I think Steve would be too 😆.)

1937: "the first intimation that most matter in the universe is `dark matter'"

Personally I think Steve would be absolutely amazed by the advances in space travel.

• Women's Rights. Like with Civil Rights, while Steve may have missed the large movements during the 50s and 60s, he was around for the early movements. The 60s movement is called Second Wave Feminism for a reason. This is because there was already many pushes for women equality in Steve's time.

For example:

1920: White women win the right to vote. This means Steve's mother first voted in his lifetime. I feel this alone would make Steve heavily aware of inequality faced by women. (As a side note I feel that Sarah always emphasized voting to Steve since it was such a major development in her lifetime.)

Also in the 20s the Flapper trend rose, along with hemlines. Women's skirts were shorter and they smoked and drank with men. Middle-class and working-class women also worked outside of the home. The 1920s-1930s 'modern' woman is very different from the Victorian vision of a woman in petticoats and skirts.

Early Birth Control movement: Was "initiated by a public health nurse, Margaret Sanger, just as the suffrage drive was nearing its victory. The idea of woman’s right to control her own body, and especially to control her own reproduction and sexuality, added a visionary new dimension to the ideas of women’s emancipation. This movement not only endorsed educating women about existing birth control methods. It also spread the conviction that meaningful freedom for modern women meant they must be able to decide for themselves whether they would become mothers, and when."

1936: A Supreme Court decision declassified birth control information as obscene. Legalised doctor-prescribed contraceptives.

WW2 Watershed: Women serve in the army and work factory jobs. The government establishes universal childcare while women work.

Women also wore pants and form fitting clothes to work in factories. We also see Peggy wearing pants during the last assault on Hydra. While Steve may need to get used to modern fashion, he would already be familiar with the 'morale outrage' over women's clothes in his time, and probably try to manage his surprise in private as well as possible.

• LGBTQ+ Rights. Like with the rest of the equality movements, LGBTQ+ rights movements also started before the late 1900s.

1924: "Society for Human Rights is founded by Henry Gerber in Chicago. The society is the first gay rights organization as well as the oldest documented in America." This organisation was broken up soon after founding due to arrests, but it published "the first American publication for homosexuals, Friendship and Freedom."

In the 1920s and 30s "the gay and lesbian movement started taking shape. Social analysts began rejecting prior medical definitions of "inversion" or "homosexuality" as deviant.

Communities of men and women with same-sex affiliations began to grow in urban areas. Their right to gather in public places such as bars was tenuous, and police raids and harassment were common." (Link)

WW2 Watershed: While many LGBTQ people lived in rural areas or outside 'queer neighbourhoods' the war brought people from all backgrounds together. "As with most young soldiers, many had never left their homes before, and the war provided them an opportunity to find community, camaraderie, and, in some cases, first loves. These new friendships gave gay and lesbian GIs refuge from the hostility that surrounded them and allowed for a distinct subculture to develop within the military."

They still had to hide their identities for fear of persecution and a 'blue discharge', however "Gay and lesbian veterans of World War II became some of the first to fight military discrimination and blue discharges in the years following the war."

It's unclear how much Steve would have known about the gay and lesbian rights movement. But in the comics he has a gay friend Arnie Roth, and there are many meta posts (X X X) about how Steve may have lived in a queer neighbourhood.

And, according to my history professor, gay and lesbian soldiers were often protected by their friends in the army instead of outed. This is not to downplay the discrimination and pain outed veterans faced, but there was a comaraderie and understanding that developed between soldiers that protected many gay soldiers.

• Computer and the internet. The seeds of modern computers began during World War Two. Arguably it began earlier with Ada Lovelace. While technology has changed a lot for Steve, there is a long history of it's development.

Colossus Computer: Kept secret until the 70s, it's unclear if Steve's association with the SSR, Peggy (who was a code breaker before SSR) and Howard, would have led him to know anything about the "the world's first programmable, electronic, digital computer", but we see electric screens and machines being used in Captain America: The First Avenger. So he would know something of those mechanisms.

Also the first American TV was broadcasted in the 1939 World Fair, And since Steve and Bucky are already shown going to a science fair, I believe it is reasonable for Steve to know about the concept of television, though it looks much different in modern day.

• Rise of Neo-Nazis. Steve already saw the rise of fascism in his own country before the war, so while I think he would be horrified and saddened to learn of the Neo-Nazi movement, I don't think he would be surprised.

Because:

Eugenics: A large part of the Nazi campaign, this part of the movement originated and was inspired by the United States Eugenics movement. "It is important to appreciate that within the U.S. and European scientific communities these ideas were not fringe but widely held and taught in universities."

Lobotomies and institutionalisations were part of the treatments for disabled and 'weak-minded' individuals during Steve's time. With Sarah being a nurse it is likely Steve knew of these treatments and more. And as a disabled child of immigrants, I have no doubts Steve brushed up with eugenics beliefs many times.

1939: More than 20,000 people attended a Nazi rally in Madison Square while "[a]bout 100,000 anti-Nazi protesters gathered around the arena in protest".

In the comics Steve canonically has a Jewish friend, Arnie Roth. If he wasn't part of the protests against the Nazi rally, he would have heard about it and known about the rise of antisemitic sentiment in the US before the outbreak of the war.

So Where Does That Leave Us?

Steve has a history of anti-racist behaviour. While he would still have a lot to learn from the Civil Rights Movement and no doubt has unconscious biases he grew up with, he also explicitly builds a multi-racial team that would have led to clashes with systemic racism in the army. This would have inevitably led to him and the Howling Commandos taking an anti-racist stance in protection of their members.

Would Steve say the N-word? Likely not. The N-Word already held negative connotations by the 19th and early-20th century. I doubt Jones would be willing to follow a man who would knowing use the insult. 'Coloured' or 'Negro' were seen as the more acceptable terms. So Steve may use those words at first, instead of 'Black' or 'African-American'. 'Negro' is a controversial term for some Black Americans, so this would be something for him to learn, but he would not purposely by insulting or hurtful. And I believe he would adapt as quickly as possible upon learning.

Steve saw the early steps of many social movements. Given what we know about Steve—artist, disabled, immigrant, poor, raised by a single mom, gay and Jewish friend, potentially lived around queer people, worked with Peggy and smiled when she punched a sexiest, and built a multi-racial team—Steve would not only be aware of the social movements of his time, but he would be happy to learn of the developments after he went into the ice.

While it would take some time for him to learn all the changes that happened, Steve's background would led him to be pleased with the changes in society. This is the opposite of being racist, sexist, and homophobic. Some things might take some adjusting for Steve to get used to, but he is already open-minded and has a frame of reference for many of the social changes that happened.

People sometimes bring up Steve's Catholic upbringing to argue about some beliefs he might have. But while I do think this upbringing would lead to some biases, I think Steve's life experience helped counter, or helped him unlearn some of those biases, even before he hit the ice.

Also, as an Irish-Catholic, Steve would have faced some discrimination of his own. It is most certainly not on the same level as other minorities, and things were better in the 20th century. Being very clear, any discrimination Steve faced for being Irish-Catholic would not be systemic or commonplace like racism. But adding his heritage to the rest of Steve's background helps give us a better idea of why he was already open to social movements like the Civil Rights movement before the ice. And it may have made him already more understanding of LGBTQ+ people, who he may have lived around, even if he grew up being taught certain biases.

Other Things We Forget About Steve

He is quite tech-savvy. While Steve would have a lot to learn, we know he is capable. There are a lot of jokes about his technical know-how in Avengers, but I think he's actually managing very well considering it's probably only been a few weeks or months since he came out of the ice.

Examples:

Deleted scene where we see Steve using a laptop in his apartment. He presses the spacebar to pause a video, which is a keyboard shortcut. So not only can he set up a laptop to watch a video, but he already knows key shortcuts.

Deleted scene where waitress mentions 'wireless'. Steve is confused and thinks she means radio. But I think he actually knows about wi-fi at this point, but probably had never heard it referred to as 'wireless' before. By this point he knows radio is not as common, so his real confusion is why the waitress is offering him 'free radio'. If she had said free wi-fi (the more typical phrase in my opinion) I think he would have understood.

Canon scene of Steve helping Tony fix the Helicarrier engines. This is my favourite evidence because Tony asks Steve to look at the relays and Steve makes a quip that they 'seem to run on some sort of electricity' indicating he is out of his depth. But we never see Tony tell Steve what to do. Steve figures out how to fix the relays himself. Tony is busy with the debris in the rotors and the next thing we see is Steve telling Tony the relays are all good.

Steve is much better at adapting and figuring out technology than we give him credit for. This doesn't mean he won't be anxious or uncomfortable with the sheer amount of stuff he has to learn (especially if everyone keeps making jokes about it to him). But by 2014, it's clear he's already mastered all of it, which is amazing when you think about it, because that's only two years of learning.

Steve is very book smart. In the comics Steve goes to art college, implying he finished high school. Even if he did drop out of high school to work, we know Steve is very smart.

We see him unloading a whole suitcase of books in the barracks before he got the serum.

The mental math is must take to throw the shield at the right angles for it to bounce back is insane.

Steve is also known as a master tactician. So it is clear he has the brains and smarts to run his team during the war. Not only that, but he is not just Captain in name. He actually has that rank, which means he passed the Captain's exam. I also have a feeling he would have needed to pass some kind of evaluation to get the serum in the first place.

We see in Steve's 2014 apartment that his bookshelves are full of history books. Steve is a veracious reader and spends a lot of his time catching up on what he missed. Things he didn't learn or were taught differently growing up would definitely exist, but Steve is actively working to counter that.

Steve would swear. Swearing has been a constant throughout all of history. So too, the backlash against profanity. Even if Steve grew up being told not to swear he would have heard it. And, Steve became a soldier. If he didn't swear before the war, he most definitely picked up some of it then.

I think Captain America isn't supposed to swear, and I think Steve would be aware of this perception of the symbol of him. But I think when Steve is comfortable with people, he would swear. We see in Avengers he doesn't swear, but in Avengers: Age of Ultron, he does.

We joke about Steve and the "Language" line, but I think that line has something to do with Steve's history of being perceived as a symbol and as Captain America since he said it 'just slipped out'. So, while Steve may have been encouraged not to swear growing up, and expected not to swear as Captain America, I fully believe that soldier, veteran, and Irish man Steve Rogers does swear.

Wrap up

I hope you liked this deep dive into Steve's history and character.

I think it can be easy to take the past as a lump sum and view everyone in the past through one lens. We know the past was racist, sexist, and homophobic, so we view everyone from the past that way.

And while it's true things were different back then, people were most definitely fighting for change and aware of the issues. There is also a lot of nuance to the past, and a lot that can be gleaned from what we know about Steve.

It's true that Steve would have a lot to learn when it comes to terminology and specific technology, but I believe Steve's background would prepare him for a lot of the social changes that happened after he went into the ice.

[taeaura]

what do you think a modern-era thomas would be like? i wonder how different he would be from his canon version with the greater normalization of mental health disorders and everything (and possibly being able to stay in school for longer). i love reading your posts :)

I love reading your posts :)

Modern Thomas {Hewitt} AU Headcanons

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･.

I think the most impactful effect of the modern AU would be Thomas' mental and physical condition. He'd most likely get diagnosed quicker and more accurately -

'Mental Retardation' - ASD 1

Would not be diagnosed with 'Mental Deterioration'

Disfigurative/Disfiguring Facial Disease - CLE or Pustular Psoriasis {Possibly both}

Birth Defect {Assumed to be an Incomplete Unilateral Cleft} would stay the same, potentially fixed at birth IF the Hewitt's had the money

Other mental disorders:

Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Depression

Apraxia of Speech {?}

PTSD

--

With the earlier/more accurate diagnoses, Thomas {if the Hewitt's had the money} would have more treatment/management options. For example:

Therapy: ABA, Speech therapy, general psychology

Medication: Anti-depressants, Anger management, Anti-anxiety, Anti-Psychotics

Honestly..I doubt the Hewitts would approve of either..BUT they'd be more open to it than compared to the canon timeline {due to less societal pressure}

_____

School...oh boy. Depending on what year he'd be born {late 80's - early 90's} his accommodations would change {not too drastically, though}.

The Americans with Disabilities Act {ADA} was signed into law in 1990 by former President George H.W. Bush, meaning Thomas {if he had a 504 or educational plan of some sort} would require accommodations. That being said...he went to school in a small conservative town...in the Deep South...that is heavily religious..

Would he have stayed in school longer? Most likely. Would he have graduated..I don't think so. LISTEN - He'd probably drop out around 14/15 {not that it was legal} - To work at the slaughterhouse. School would've been overwhelming not only from work, but the social aspects as well. He wasn't the best in school..

If he did happen to make it through high school, I doubt he'd go to college - but that's just me.

He would NOT be employed at age 12, as the Texas Child Labor Laws {finalized in 1993} state:

"The Texas Child Labor Laws make sure a child is not working in a job or way that could harm the child's safety, health, or well-being. Texas Workforce Commission (TWC) also has rules to make sure a job does not interfere with a child’s education. It is illegal to employ a child under 14 except under specific circumstances."

_____

Okay!! Now time for more personalized modern AU headcanons 🤗

IF he had a phone {which I don't think he would, unfortunately} he'd like playing random mobile games. I'm talking Tetris-esque and solitaire games {and those of similar nature}.

--

He'd grow his hair out - OP and I have talked about this; He'd grow it out a bit. Maybe not terribly long, but longer than his 2006 length. {I have no idea why this would be modern-related but it popped in my mind}.

--

I don't know if Thomas would be the type to watch TV, honestly. Maybe whatever's on here and there - Eavesdropping on what the family's watching - But nothing too particular.

--

The family would not spend money on mobile phones. I'm sorry, but they wouldn't..they really don't talk to anyone outside of the family, and even then, they'd most likely have a rotary or push-button phone.

--

The Hewitts are poor, okay? Which leads me to believe Thomas would have a CD player as opposed to an online streaming service {for music}. I just envision this post.

--

Possible Music Taste {Open to suggestions}: Type O Negative, The Smashing Pumpkins, Korn {momentarily}, Led Zeppelin, Mortician, Cannibal Corpse, Pantera, Black Sabbath, Metallica, Alice In Chains, Johnny Cash, The Highwaymen, Elvis {momentarily}, Lynyrd Skynyrd {momentarily}, ACDC {momentarily}, Slipknot {momentarily}, hear me out..Radiohead?

--

Thomas would have more variety in his masks - Listen, rural Texas is still rural Texas, but it's not 1960's rural Texas. There'd be more variety in the people there {both from in and out of town}, which leads me to believe his masks would show that.

--

The family would have a bit more variety in their food - Not by much, but still an influential amount. Think about it, Luda's community center/gas station would get some different things {especially in the 2020's}. Vapes, new chip and sweet brands, gum, different soda pop brands, more fast-food-esque stock, but still new stock nonetheless. I'm sure she'd bring some home for the family..even if it's just a bit.

--

I think Thomas would dress relatively the same - Wearing his Sunday clothes to work at the bug-infested bloodfest that is the slaughterhouse {we love a gentleman}.

--

Okay listen, I know this post is about Thomas but I just thought of something: Hoyt would want a phone. NOT because he's social, but because he wants access to certain things..with ease. The Hewitts wouldn't have internet but that doesn't mean Hoyt won't drive out somewhere. He'd have a Facebook account - You can't tell me different.

_____

yay modern Thomas playing solitaire with his momma

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/779889755795095552/httpswwwtumblrcomolderthannetfic779634954778?source=share

It's so depressing seeing someone in the comments on this one go, "Wouldn't it be funny if, instead of reacting to something in-universe the way a real person would, the black girl was sooo over it bc she's read about black magical girls?"

No. The MCU and Big Bang Theory and Family Guy may find "I'm so ~*~unaffected~*~ and ~*~over it~*~" funny but it's lazy. It's lazy writing. Writing characters is hard. Writing Snarky Irony Poisoned Aloof Diet Edgy MC #4000 is easy. I get that the familiar is comforting to some audiences - it's why Family Guy never dies and people still rewatch MCU movies instead of watching something new - but it's boring to audience members who want actual stakes. If the characters are constantly going, "I'm over it. I don't care. I'm not impressed. Something has shown up that ten seconds ago I thought was physically impossible and I refuse to treat that as significant", then why the fuck should the audience care?

No, really, that's not sarcastic - why would anyone care about another media property where the characters keep reminding you that no one, not even they, take this seriously? What's engaging about that? Allegedly it's "funny", but I'm not even clear on how that works when this is so fucking common. I grew up on the MCU and at this point characters being totally unaffected by finding out that how they thought the world worked is wrong is just a day ending in y. But even if it wasn't common... it makes the character too stupid to root for, honestly, if they, like an anti, can't tell fiction apart from reality. If they react to a real event the same way they do as a fictional one, that's not funny. That's every person in my dorm, basically.

This is an unpopular opinion with my generation and with Millennials. But the reason you see people blowing up for this show is because it isn't on its' hands and knees pleading with you, "We're detached and cool and aloof! We're not taking this seriously! We promise not to be sincere!" Instead the people making it asked, "How do we tell a good story? What sounds in-character for these characters to say?"

And even on here, you get braindead losers going, "Okay, but imagine if instead of Zira acting like Zira, a character whose race, age, hobbies, personality, attitude and background inform her reaction, she just went 'haha me no care me read manga'? Wouldn't that be funny?" No.

Genuinely, it depresses me that Pretty Pretty Please I Don't Want To Be A Magical Girl has writing that is too sophisticated for the kiddults of the internet. Go rewatch some superhero movies with a Chris in them if you want that shit.

(The extra stupid part is that Zira DOES have several moments of being unaffected and trying to play it cool. She just also shows enthusiasm for one thing and that one, singular moment is too much variety for people who want everything to be as uniform and familiar as possible.)

--

[angelsdean]

Sam closing the bunker is not just bad writing it’s bad writing FOR SAM. Sam was always trying to make the world a better place and that’s a big part of his journey… believing that he CAN do that despite Azazel and Lucifer and the demon blood, etc. Now he has this incredible resource that could help so many people and… leaves it to gather dust. Even if he was leaving the life I cannot believe Sam would do that. I have no idea why so many Samgirls act like the finale was good for him. Even his “life” post Dean shows absolutely nothing that happened to him was important other than the fact that he named his son after his brother who died on a piece of rebar. No pictures of his family who he spent the great majority of his life with. We don’t even know who he married! This isn’t even showing without telling it’s more like hand waving away Sam’s life as a whole. I tend to think Dabb found a shit fanfic on Wattpad and chose it as his inspiration because nothing in the finale makes sense except as parody of the fanbase. It was designed to appeal to the lowest common denominator and as a Samgirl I was disgusted by it. Sorry for the rant…

100% agree! The finale was a disservice to every single character, including Sam! I don't know how any Sam fan could be happy with that ending or think that late seasons Sam even WANTED that kind of life anymore. Personally I don't think he even wanted it all that much in the earlier seasons either. By season 2 he was already saying he wanted to stick with hunting to honor John's "legacy." Sure that was partially fueled by grief but I really do think Sam enjoyed hunting, especially the lore and research (they don't call him loreboy for nothing!) he just wanted to do things on his own terms and his form of "rebellion" against John as a teen meant rejecting hunting, but I don't think it's the hunting he ever had an issue with, it was John's authority.

Anyways, point is Sam always wanted to be a leader and in the later seasons he really enjoyed mentoring other hunters. He and Eileen (and/or Rowena) made a great team and I can't see any reason why he wouldn't continue to be in the life and help others. Even if he wanted to retire from hunting (tfw all deserve to REST forever) I can still see him helping other hunters with research. And we know from the fact that Dean Jr has an anti-possession tattoo and from SPNWin telling us that Chuck had fail-safes in place to wreak havoc that there are still supernatural threats that need fighting. So there's still work to do.

There are many reasons why I think Dean's death is stupid and was completely unnecessary and one of the main reasons I think he "had" to die (aside from the fact that they could not keep him alive without addressing the Cas-shaped hole in his life) is that otherwise there would literally be NO reason for Sam to go off and have that fake apple pie life. They use Dean's death as a plot device to make him "promise" to move on (similar to how Sam did this to Dean in s5, telling him to go live with Lisa and Ben). It's a flimsy excuse to make Sam's ending "work" but it doesn't really work at all and is so incongruous with Sam's later seasons arc.

And yea, once he has this supposed "happy ending" it's still....so sad and devoid of anything real. He's living a lie. He doesn't seem to have moved on from Dean's death at all. He's still mourning Dean as an old man. He has the Impala gathering dust. He names his kid after Dean, which to me just signals less of an "honoring" and more of "stuck in the past." No photos of his new family like you said. It's just DEPRESSING. Sam deserved better. LIKE, even if you want to do a tragic ending, I think MY version where he goes to Hell after Dean dies to be with Rowena and lean into his darker side in his grief is so so much sexier, fun, and interesting than sad pathetic party city wig Sam.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Since you were asked what were your favorite hp fics, how about your not favorite hp fics? 🙃

https://www.tumblr.com/hollowed-theory-hall/760514932420820992/what-are-your-favourite-harry-potter-ships

Or ships you are against hahaha and what short reason?

I'm assuming you meant ships and not fics, and that you really want me to get controversial, huh.

So, like, I wouldn't call it "against," as I have nothing against people shipping anything, and I don't even mind seeing some of the ships on this list on occasion. These are just ships I don't personally find compelling (some of them I can find objectively compelling and are just not to my taste), so it really isn't "against", more like not my cup of tea ships.

Also, ship whatever you ship, I really don't care what anyone else ships, and these are just some of my subjective opinions. So, in no particular order:

1. Hinny

I talked about my dislike of Hinny plenty, and I have a substantial "anti hinny" tag on this blog, which I will refer to here (and the tag here, if you're interested)

2. Drarry

I talked about Drarry here. Drarry is a pairing that has so much going for it, I wish I could like it, but I find Draco's canon character annoying, so I can't ship him with Harry who's my favorite and gets only the best from me when it comes to shipping. So, it's a not my cup of tea thing.

3. Linny

Talked about them here. I just never got the impression Ginny truly respects Luna, and that sucks for Luna and this relationship.

4. Wolfstar

So, this is, I guess, a big one to say I don't particularly like, and I'll give a bit of my reasoning.

My canon-loving self can't get behind fanon Wolfstar at all. They're not even actually the characters, and as Sirius is one of my favorites, I really dislike his fanon version. Additionally, as I mentioned about Drarry, I can't really be invested in a ship where I don't feel about the characters the same way (that's a me thing), and as I love canon Sirius but am very critical of canon Remus, that also stops me from ever really liking this pairing.

But even if we ignore my own opinions about the characters and talk about canon Wolfstar — I'm not a fan.

I just don't think they work. Like, I can see them having sex during OotP, but I wouldn't call it a healthy relationship. I can see it because they're the only Mauraders left, and neither of them is in a good mental space. Like, I can see them getting into a messy situationship because they're depressed and they miss the dead, and this could be super interesting, but it isn't the form Wolfstar usually takes.

I mean, both of them were James' freinds first and each other's second. James was the most important person to Sirius, but also to Remus, I think. Like, James was the one who held the Mauraders together. Sirius would not have befriended Remus and Peter without James, I guarantee it.

I mean, it's telling both thought of the other as a traitor and potential spy during/after the war. And I think, even during the books, they never really got over it, they just kinda cast it aside.

Like, it's mostly that I can't get behind how Wolfstar is portrayed in the fandom, even when the characters stick closer to canon. I just don't see this as a good relationship. I think, if they were to get together as adults, it would be so much messier. And I can't imagine them getting together as teens during school, since, I think at that point, the interest in each other wouldn't be there. I never saw them as each other's first choice. Like if they had to choose which Maurader other than themselves to save — they'd both choose James.

It might also be my Prongsfoot agenda speaking, but, like, you can't tell me Sirius "it's been 14 years and there wasn't a day I didn't think about your father" Black wasn't in love with James Potter since, like, day 1. I honestly believe in the canon books, Sirius was in love with James (not the other way though, I think in canon it was one-sided, but James did love Sirius, just not romantically).

5. Jegulus

I need to talk about this, I guess. Like, I probably wouldn't have minded canon James being shipped with Canon Regulus (although, I'm iffy about that too, becouse James likes having "the best" and according to Harry and Slughorn Regulus is just a downgraded Sirius, so why would James go for the seemingly "lesser" Black Brother when Sirius is right there and more than willing.) But the fanon version of both of them are just really not for me.

Neither of them actually feels like the characters they are supposed to be. Like, they kinda remind me of the fanon portrayal of Percico (Percy x Nico, from Percy Jackson) back in the day (haven't been in the PJO fandom in years, so I don't know what they're up to now). Like, I think fanon Jegulus is a Percico variant, and I wonder what the Fandom overlaps is.

6. Harry x Cedric

I can get behind the idea Harry fancied Cedric a bit in 4th year. It makes sense, I understand Harry, Cedric is hot, Harry's hormonal, of course, he'd have a bit of a crush. I just don't think they would make an interesting or particularly good couple.

Like, the fact Cedric dated Cho for as long as he did tells me he would not have gotten along in a relationship with Harry. Becouse Harry and Cho are very different people who look for different things in a relationship. I think Harry would find Cedric frustrating as he found Cho if they actually tried to date or got a chance to get closer.

7. Snape x any of the golden trio

Again, no hate, just, this one is really not for me, and I never really wanted to read it.

8. Bellatrix x any of the golden trio

Same as above.

9. Vernon or Petunia with anyone other than each other

I just don't think anyone else (except maybe Marge) deserves it. I can get behind Petunia cheating on Vernon with Marge.

10. Bellamort

I talked about it here. And I just can't get behind it. I don't find them particularly interesting, I don't think Voldemort was interested in Bellatrix romantically in canon (they might've had sex), and I don't think he particularly respects her while she's obsessed with him. So, I don't find them (be it canon or fanon) compelling to read about. The fact that Bellatrix would be easy for Voldemort to be in a relationship with doesn't mean it's a good thing, I think Voldemort should struggle in a relationship. The most interesting Voldemort ships push him into a character arc, and Bellamort doesn't do that.

11. Ron x Lavender and 12. Harry x Ginny

I feel like canon speaks for itself, but I wrote a bit about Harry and Cho here.

13. Most Dumbledore ships.

Mostly becouse Dumbledore is a character I'm not usually interested in shipping. I'm interested in Grindledore because of its impact on Dumbledore's character, but, he's just not a character I want to read a romance about. This is my personal opinion.

---

I have a lot of other ships I'm indifferent towards. Like, Snape with either Lucius or Narcissa, or Pansy x Hermione, I'm not a big fan, but I don't dislike them, just indifferent.

I'm also sure I missed a bunch, but I tried to hit the big ones I don't like. Though, even with some of these, if the summary is interesting I might read a fic with them.

[borderline-culture-is]

Bpd culture is typing out something here and then deleting it bc it was too negative/venty and I think we need some more positive and healing focused posts in the bpd community.

So instead have some healing related things I learned & am working on improving!:

• if I feel myself spiraling or splitting, I try to remove myself from conversations. I had to learn the hard way that I just hurt my loved ones and act toxic during severe episodes, so I'm taking measures to ensure I can be a better friend, partner, sibling etc.

• looking more therapy and rehab options. Both clinics I was at were useless, so I had to look into other things. Being around people and needing to keep my reactions "under control" is helpful - especially because we do have a "quiet room" where we can go and rest if things get too much.

• I also have ADHD, and funnily enough my ADHD meds seem to help my bpd. Looked into it and apparently that's an actual thing for some of us who have both! -- my ADHD Meds & Anti Depressants together are a huge help :) but especially the ADHD meds!

• self reflection. Looking at my actions after and realizing it was bad, learning to apologize and acknowledge my flaws. -- I cant undo the hurt I caused during severe delusional, unmedicated episodes. And I do wish I had a way to erase some things I did. I realize the best i can do is take accountability, self reflect and remove myself from situations early if necessary.

• trying to focus on the here and now. Is hard. I'm still learning that, but I'm trying my best. I can't undo the things I have done in the past, and I can't change how others from then saw me if they cut contact already. The only thing I can do is work on improving myself and getting better *now* so that future me will be a better person

• telling myself off when I'm being mean to myself. If I catch me insulting myself or something, I try to tell myself off. It's hard, especially during self splits. My FP actually made me start doing this, because they expressed not liking me insulting myself. They didn't directly tell me to tell myself off, but it started with me going "No, FP wouldn't want me saying that about myself!" Subconsciously.

• trying to shift from "I'm doing this (taking care of my body) for FP!" & seeing my FPs as my reason to live to instead be like "I'm doing this for myself, and I can share it with my friends & FP so they can see that I'm getting better!" Its one thing to tell our loved ones we are trying to heal, and another one to show them. I'm trying to not see my FP as my reason to heal, but as someone important to me who is proud of me for healing. They are there to catch me if I fall, but they shouldn't need to carry me completely.

I think I wanted to add more but my brain zoned out uhhh.... I might do a pt2 at some point.

I do think that many BPDers may need some more positivity & healing info. Because often the tags online are clogged with vents, people enabling unhealthy coping techniques and delusions.

So I hope this helps someone out there. I don't blame anyone who isn't ready yet to get better, for whatever reason. I've been there for a long time and it took ages for that wall to break down. But I'm finally starting to work on it.

-🧪🦝

hey, even for the mods these things really mean a lot and I appreciate little pieces of advice so much!!!

(however just remember that you are allowed to have your emotions and experience them)

[kublakola]

Dude, Mark Scout doesn't have any friends. Like he doesn't have any friends. He has his sister and his shitty brother-in-law and his dead wife and the crazy brain surgeon in his basement, and that's it. He's completely alone, anti-social, and isolated - if it weren't for Devon, he wouldn't talk to anyone but the waiter at his local restaurant. And then Petey stumbles out of the woods with a fresh lobotomy and says "No, man, we're close. I'm your best friend. We have the same sense of humour. We talk 8 hours a day, every day, and we're not bored of each other yet. You trust me." Because Mark S. has friends. Dylan, Irving, Helly, people he cares so much about he literally won't work without them, people who love him like family because all they know is each other. What's going to happen when Scout reintegrates, and suddenly his life is full of loyalty and companionship and love?? Aghhhhhhh. Agh. And Irving's DEAD and Petey's DEAD so he's going to gain them and lose them in one fell swoop. AGGGGGHHHHH.

Also, if you consider the potential physiological side-effects of severance, loneliness has profound damaging effects on cognitive function, social processing, depression, and stress levels. Mark S's friendships have been literally healing Mark Scout this entire time and he doesn't even know it!! Oof ow ouch ouchie

[chaifootsteps]

something else that just occurred to me

when Blitz gets drunk off his face and has to be brought home from the party by Loona, it's framed like a problem because she has to take care of him. as far as parenting goes it's his worst misstep outside of his over protectiveness and smothering of her, but it's at least a momentary blip on his part, and the rest of the time he's supportive, loving and puts her ahead of anything else (something Stolas could stand to learn a thing or two about). we also see in Ozzie's he calls to let her know when he'll be home late - she's old enough not to wait up but he still does it as a courtesy

Stolas meanwhile is about to down a bottle of absinthe at the party before he sees Blitz again, then after Ozzie's is shown waking up after being passed out drunk on his floor

then again in Apology Tour he gets drunker than we've ever seen him

but when Stolas does it, his drunkenness is never framed as being all that bad or as costing him anything. The question "don't you have a daughter to get home to?" just never comes up. And Via is 17 - an older teen but still a teen; she's not 20 like Loona is and she clearly desperately needs some attention from Stolas.

With the night of Ozzies/The Circus we at least know Via was with her mother, but what's the excuse for Apology Tour? what would have happened if Via called Stolas for help with something after Ozzie's the way Loona called up Blitz? And if she's with Stella again, is Stolas really letting his daughter still have visitation with her mother now he knows for sure she tried to kill him? Is he that dumb?

But as far as the writers are concerned Via stops existing as a concern whenever Stolas is supposed to do something most parents would think twice about, because they know they have someone who's dependent on them. They don't think the audience will think this reflects poorly on him because the writers themselves haven't thought about it at all

instead his drinking is yet another thing used by the writers to get across how sad he is - both times he drinks himself into oblivion it's after a fight with Blitz and the viewer is pretty clearly supposed to judge Blitz for "making" Stolas do this by not loving him enough (or at all, tbh). It's yet another yucky parallel between Blitz and Stella, since the other time he starts drinking is at one of her parties. To the writers any emotional pain Stolas has is of the same intensity: whether being demeaned by his wife or rejected by the imp he'd been using for sex

it's the same with his anti-depressants: there's little to no examination in the text about how depression, like alcoholism, is negatively affecting his life. fans keep theorizing his bad reaction to Blitz actually having feelings in full moon was because he was shown to have run out of his meds, but even assuming they wear off that fast we don't see any difference in how he behaves to how he is normally. And given how self-centred and unempathetic he is normally, I doubt there is a difference tbh. His meds are just a shorthand for how sad he is. because that's what depressed people do, right? just take a fistful of pills on an empty stomach with nothing but alcohol in it? and take them in sporadic bursts so they can run out right when the writers need them to have an excuse for behaving like a gaslighting jerk?

honestly when they finally give Stolas his happy ending on a plate it wouldn't surprise me at all if they just wrote him to be magically cured of his depression and his alchoholism because that's how they think it works

That's a very good point, and one I don't think I've heard brought up before. It's another good example of how everyone except Stolas needs to be on their best behavior at all times. Stolas, on the other hand, is allowed to drink as much as he wants, yell as much as he wants, disregard the feelings and consent of others as much as he wants, and ignore his daughter as much as he wants.

I'm not exaggerating when I say that they could show a scene of a younger Stolas getting drunk and forgetting to feed Octavia and I firmly believe this fandom would either rush to make excuses or try to pin it on Stella.

[warrior-of-storms]

I changed my mind, it will be today :)

Here's the thing. In his own books, Steve Rogers is rarely if ever actually working for the government. Like. Did y'all miss Civil War? The man is anti-registration. He fights for the underdogs. He was born in the 1922 and grew up in the Great Depression. He grew up Irish Catholic in the 20s and 30s. His parents were immigrants. He became Captain America to fight injustice. He became Captain America to fight the Nazis. Everything he stands for is equality and justice.

Then you find him in an X-Men project (comic, show, movie, etc) and he gets subjected to the most atrocious character assassination. I don't know what it is about X-media that makes every single Avenger get whacked with the character assassination beam but it happens all the freaking time. The most recent example I can think of is the scene in X-Men '97 where Rogue runs into him and Steve's like "If this suit is seen bashing heads with you, that sends a message" and "gotta do this by the book" like excuse me?? Idk who that is but that's not Steve Rogers!! "By the book" is not in his vocabulary like come onnnn...

There are some Avengers that I can believe would be anti-mutant. There are some Avengers that I can believe wouldn't be anti-mutant but wouldn't be willing to put their reputation on the line for them. (I won't name names in the interest of not getting jumped in the notes.) But Steve though? If he were written well in X-media, he would be fighting alongside them. Unfortunately, for plot reasons mostly, Steve Rogers will never be treated well in X-media ever.

[sillymicox3]

HUGE Aidelyn ramble (scroll if you don't want, nerds)

(THIS IS AN OLD RMABLE BTW AND IT WAS PSOTED IN MY WATTPAD LIKE LAST YEAR anyways continue)

You don't get what I'm seeing (probably). I'm gatekeeping this for so long, I've been making fanfics of them being lovey dovey but I'm ready to say it:

My vision is screaming at me, that Aidelyn is heavily one-sided, until Ashlyn slowly gives in to Aiden's attempts.

Again, my vision says that Aidelyn is a long, one-sided, relationship. It's obvious, of course. Given by the fact that Ashlyn tried to get away from Aiden from the beginning.

Ashlyn, being anti-social and hates people, does not trust Aiden, so she tries to push him away all the time.

It's not confirmed why, but most likely (and obviously) the fact that she hates people and socializing (like what I said), but how I envision it, she's probably scared.

Scared?? Ashlyn fucking Banner, scared of what??

“But.. isn't she anti-socia–”

1) It's my vision

2) I want angst

3) Yes but hear me out please PLEASE JUST DO IT.

What if she's scared of making new friends? Because she'll have to protect them, be attached to them, and then they'll end up leaving. Ashlyn doesn't want to feel devastated and depressed, so it leads up to her building up walls, brick by brick.

Not only to be alone and isolated, but to feel safe.

At first glance, Aiden had noticed that she was alone, and she isolates herself from others.

Maybe, he was reminded of his past, and Aiden does not want her to feel like what he felt when he was young. So, he tries his best to lower her walls, but it wouldn't work. Ashlyn would just build up more. But Aiden will not give up.

He keeps on trying, and trying. He will never rest, until he actually befriends Ashlyn.

So when he saw that their task was going to a field trip for History, he took that opportunity to let Ashlyn know him better. And his plan got better when he met the others. But of course, it went downhill when the phantom dimension started.

And that made it worse for Ashlyn too. Now, she has 5 people to protect. And she doesn't even know them at all. She only sees them as classmates, but she has this urge to protect them at all costs. Especially Aiden. She doesn't know why. It makes things more complicated. Whenever she tries to push him away, she ends up going closer to him.

She fails to succeed in not caring for him, because in the end, she finds comfort in her friends. But she would still try to push herself away from them. She doesn't know why.

In the chapter where Aiden saves Ashlyn, it was clear that he blamed himself for risking Ashlyn's life, so he unintentionally hugs her, as a way of showing his guilt. Ashlyn, not being the touchy person she is, reluctantly hugs him back. That was the small, first step of her slowly giving in, but her trust was not given, yet.

The next day, Aiden apologized to her, again, and when Ashlyn said that her head was throbbing, he awkwardly held her head, and Ashlyn did not protest. Another small step.

In the arcade scene, it is clear that Ashlyn finally gave in to Aiden's tiny, little, small attempt to try and interact with her, but to Aiden, it's the biggest, important moment that he had ever seen with himself and Ashlyn.

Ashlyn was slowly starting to accept the fact that she's having friends, and was slowly warming up to them.

That was until Tyler's death.

Ashlyn possibly blames herself for his death, because she did not come back for him. Aiden tried his best to comfort her, but he didn't try to pressure her, so he simply held her hand. It's a simple thing, but it made Ashlyn feel at ease, is what I believe.

In the school (phantom realm), and the part where the roof is crumbling down, and then Aiden died, Ashlyn was finally embracing him.

“But didn't they hug in the roof scene?”

Yes, but it's not from Aiden this time. It's from HER. ASHLYN BANNER FINALLY ACTED FIRST.

Aiden is always the one to act first.

But Ashlyn, in this instance, took action first.

She wanted to protect him, but she had failed. The way that she was holding him, screams to me, that she was afraid of losing him. She was holding him, like he was her lifeline. Her lifeline of happiness. He was the first person that has proved himself to her. He proved himself FOR her.

So looking at the boisterous, outgoing, and always-smiling blonde, painted in his blood, and the smile that wasn't his etched on his face, was something that Ashlyn never wanted to see.

When they woke up, Ashlyn's first instinct was to find Aiden, and looking at him convulsing on the ground broke her.

For Aiden, the moment he snapped out of his seizure, he looks at Ashlyn. And then Ashlyn lunged to him, and pulled him into a hug.

Aiden got the two things he wanted.

Ashlyn giving in.

And feeling death.

He might have felt sorry, that Ashlyn had to hold his lifeless, bloody body.

He wanted to feel death, but he didn't like how she was shaking. That was when he realized that Ashlyn was more better than death. For long, he was longing to die because of the burden he had carried on his back. And now that Ashlyn comes into his life, he finds it hard to choose. It was a silent battle of life and death. Ashlyn is life, and his desire is death.

It was the first time Aiden Clark felt like dying us not worth it, and the time Ashlyn Banner, finally gave into Aiden's attempts.

Ashlyn has been pushing Aiden for so long, in fear of loosing him. But Aiden just.. keeps trying.

Ashlyn Banner, has been building her own wall, brick by brick.

A wall impossible to break.

And Aiden Clark, manages to do the impossible.

This is probably the messiest and non-canon ramble and analysis that I have ever wrote.

Take them away from me, they're making me sick. /pos

[mirroredmemoriez]

More Denlon Thoughts

From finally posting my comparison down below about the Denlon's and John, it made me spiral even more into them.

I have said it there above and I'll say it again- Jeff's test in my eyes accounted the fact his grief would slow him down. John wouldn't have of wanted him to be able to speed through it, especially due to the fact he's getting improv brain surgery. There was a bit of a reliance on the fact that Jeff wouldn't complete his test like, halfway through Lynn's. Which, I believe sometimes the fandom doesn't think about? Yes he's, ''Slow Ass Motherfuckin Jeff.'' However, if he wasn't Saw 3 would've been way shorter- Like imagine he showed up before Amanda was having her full blown breakdown? And or mid brain surgery. Another thing I mentioned is the fact that in comparison, Lynn is handling her test much better than her husband... And in turn this actually makes him seem even MORE slow than before. What we have to think about here is though, Lynn was not dubbed the ''best'' in regards to her medical pursuits for no reason. The playing field is working way more with her, the biggest stress and issue Lynn faces whilst going through her test is Amanda. Otherwise, if you took that factor out? Yes she may be using shit like a power drill but Lynn is a fucking amazing doctor. We get to see this even before she was kidnapped because it can be said she should've been there sooner, but when she helped that patient in the hospital she literally stabilised him in almost a minute flat whilst disregarding the other doctors inputs.

Lynn's test doesn't have her constantly facing her own grief and in comparison to Jeff? We don't know whether or not she even holds a shred of need for vengeance like he does. The most we know about the impact it has had on her, is she's now addicted to anti-depressants, neglects Corbett and her marriage is so fractured she's having an affair. One thing I'll hone on in here is the child neglect... We don't get to see the way Lynn does that as much as we do Jeff. The assumption is her long work hours and being out well... Having that affair! But also how active would Lynn have been in her children's lives even prior to Dylan's death? She to me is the main ''breadwinner'' let's say and Jeff is more so the one who is regularly looking after the children, because Lynn is a literal brain surgeon where generally surgery can last from 3-5 hours to even 5-7! How much did her role as a parent change when Dylan died in regards to how active she is in Corbett's life?

Shuffling back to the games- It's also such an interesting concept to think of Lynn going through Jeff's test, I stated this before in my previous post but it's still an ever running thought for me. Jigsaw tests tend to always be specifically designed for the person within them- In the Denlon's case they're being tested for almost the exact same reason... They are husband and wife after all. So although I don't think that means oh yeah they can be inter switched! Everything is still very close to home for the both of them. Like if Lynn was face to face with Timothy Young the way Jeff was, that is the man who killed her son. Mistake or not. It's whether or not she can or wants to forgive. Lynn in theory and I guess also in practice really, is good at detaching her emotions from what is at hand. Does she like John? No- But will she ignore that in favour of living? Yes! The same way possibly in her career she has had to save the lives of people morally she doesn't agree with. However, as previously mentioned- This is so much more closer to home. So does that all go out the window for her? We just don't know.

I'll stop here for now because I'm a mad man who rambles too much- Thanks for reading if you've got this far down! -MAL OUT

[badaziraphaletakes]

what was it that caused y'all to make this blog?

Ahaha, this is an interesting question!

Well, I (Mod X) initially got the idea after seeing so many offensive (victim-blaming and/or anti-Autistic and/or misogynistic and/or transphobic, etc, etc) takes in the GO fandom, mostly about Aziraphale, and feeling powerless after having tried to discuss them with the people who wrote them and being met with more victim-blaming, denial, and in some cases outright verbal ab*se. (Like, really really bad verbal ab*se. It was wild.)

At first it was just an idle daydream.

If it had been just me that was affected, or if it had only been a couple people making the bad takes, I wouldn't have gone anywhere with it. But once I realized I wasn’t the only fan who was being hurt, it started to sound like it'd be worthwhile to actually make it.

I had been throwing the idea around for I believe a couple months, but I felt like it wouldn't make sense to actually start the blog unless I could find a take that was so clearly, obviously, unapologetically wrong and harmful, without any disingenuity or subtlety, that literally no one could look at it and come up with an argument that it wasn't wrong, and start off with that. And I didn't think I would find one like that because the hateful people in this fandom are sneaky and disingenuous and good at cloaking their bigotry in the language of respectability, and DARVO-ing people who are offended by their bigotry, and the like.

I didn’t want to start off with a post that just said like, “These takes about Aziraphale give me the ick”.

But then one Azi hater lost it enough to come out and honest-to-god actually write the literal words “Aziraphale doesn't have depression because depression doesn't exist".

(And that one was also a good one for me to start with because my degree is in psychology and I worked in psychology research for over six years. So I had the bona fides to back up my rebuttal. And I knew the right scientific, authoritative sources to point to in order to explain why OP was wrong. Instead of just being like “Everyone knows depression exists”. If that makes sense.)

I didn’t think anyone would ever actually say anything that ludicrous. But they did. For some reason they actually went there.

And I was like, “Okay, here it is. If I start with this one, I can write an ironclad refutation. And this blog might actually do some good”.

And so I created a Crowley-coded email address and fired up a silly little blog.

And to my amazement, within two weeks we were getting so many comments that I couldn’t keep up with them all, and Mod M kindly agreed to join the team, and then Mod D, and they are GREAT.

And now five months later here we are, still going strong (and still possibly the most hated blog in the fandom 😁), and I couldn't be prouder.

[jumpywhumpywriter]

Spinoff Story Vampire & Vampire Hunter part 10

Warnings: captured vampire, whumper turned whumpee, anti-depressants and mentioned severe depression, awkward passive-agressive heart-to-heart, Alex being absolutely clueless on how human emotions work

Mallory got to feet, unsteady until he found his balance, and walked out without another word, still looking a bit out of touch with reality.

Alex frowned and trailed after the hunter through the facility, catching a lot of glares from other wary hunters who hurried to get out of the way. He followed as Mallory made his way out of the building entirely, emerging outside to get some fresh air.

Alex hesitated in the doorway, watching the hunter walk over and slump into a wooden bench nearby, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. Then he decided to approach.

"Mallory? Mind if I--"

"No," Mallory snipped without opening his eyes, "you may not."

Alex paused, then sat down next to him anyway.

"Of course you wouldn't listen," Mallory muttered under his breath. "Can't I have one moment of peace without you sticking your nose in my business? Why are you even here? You already got what you wanted, there's no need to keep harassing me..."

Alex chewed his lip, scratching his mind for the words to say. "I... couldn't help but notice your blood tasted different," he blurted. Then grimaced. Probably not the best way to start the conversation, considering everything revolving around the word 'blood' typically meant bad news to Mallory.

"So?" Mallory challenged flatly, still not opening his eyes. "Why does it matter?"

Alex's brow furrowed slightly. "During the feeding you just seemed kind of... I don't know, disconnected. And along with the funny taste in your blood, I was curious as to what the cause might be?"

Mallory finally opened his eyes, and Alex caught a glimpse of embarrassed guilt with a hint of shame in his expression before he pointedly looked away to hide it. "I don't know," he mumbled. "Probably just caught a mild cold or something."

Alex could hear his heartbeat quicken for a second. Liar. "Mmm, no, I think you do know," he pressed with a fang-filled grin.

Mallory winced. Right. Vampire hearing. He'd forgotten. "...I don't want to talk about it," he whispered, half to himself. Then raised his voice. "Go away, Alex -- just leave me alone. Can't you do me that one favor? Our agreement was my blood for your help -- I don't want to talk to you."

Alex slowly tilted his head to the side, regarding him coolly. "I think you do want to talk to me," he stated confidently. "You just don't want to let your guard down around me. But I think secretly, you wish to speak with me, as the only other person who understands. Who knows what you went through five years ago."

"Because of you," Mallory spat, eyes flaring. "You're the reason I'm like this!"

Alex nodded. "I am. But if you hadn't gone through what you went through, you wouldn't have known who I was, and known to come to me for help finding the vampire clan. Life has a funny way of making things work out in the end." He startled when Malloy abruptly stood up from the bench and whirled on him, face twisted with anger as he threw his hands up uselessly.

"There you go again, making it all about you!" He snarled loudly. "You always find some twisted way to glorify yourself! It's disgusting!"

Alex blinked in surprise at the uncharacteristic outburst, but Mallory was far from finished.

"You claim to 'understand', but you don't know anything about me! When you had me in your mansion, you almost killed me half a dozen times through sheer incompetence alone!" The hunter roared. "If Anisa hadn't given you instructions, you would have killed me already! And you have the sheer audacity to claim you understand what I went through?!" His chest was heaving, hands shaking with anger, but he was swaying on his feet, looking a little dazed and pale.

⏪️ Back Next ⏩️

Masterlist

@scoundrelwithboba @lumpofsand @isikedmyself878 @iamheretohurt @fleur-a-whump

@ay5ksal @otterfrost @sausages-things @togzy @floral-comet-whump

@whump-till-ya-jump @cravesunconditionallove @whumpwritinglover222 @nevermore-ramblings @mj-or-say10

@tippytappytyping

[francesderwent]

what is stranger things saying about the dichotomy of ordinary versus strange? it’s more complicated than you think

1x01 Hopper tries to tell Joyce that Will is probably with Lonnie, saying, "99 out of 100 times, kid goes missing, the kid is with a parent or relative." She answers, "What about the other time? You said 99 out of 100. What about the other time, the one?" Over the course of the season, her willingness to entertain unlikely options is proven correct (pro-strange)

1x02 In a flashback, Lonnie skips out on a baseball game with Will and Jonathan tells Will, “He's trying to force you to like normal things. And you shouldn't like things because people tell you you're supposed to. Okay? Especially not him.” (pro-strange)

1x04 Jonathan tells Nancy why he does photography: "I guess I'd rather observe people than, you know..." "Talk to them," she finishes. "I know, it's weird," he says. "No," she says. "No, it is. It's just, sometimes, people don't really say what they're really thinking. But you capture the right moment, it says more." (pro-strange; verging very slightly into anti-ordinary because Jonathan doesn't trust people to tell the truth from their own lips, he has to seek it out and capture it.)

1x05 The infamous Nancy and Jonathan scene, Nancy says why she thinks her parents got married, "I don't think my parents ever loved each other." "They must've married for some reasons," Jonathan answers. "My mom was young, my dad was older but he had a cushy job, money, came from a good family. So they bought a nice house at the end of the cul-de-sac and started their nuclear family." "Screw that," says Jonathan. "Yeah," Nancy agrees. "Screw that." (pro-strange, starting to creep into anti-ordinary)

1x05 Jonathan explaining what he saw in Nancy's photograph: "I saw this girl trying to be someone else, but for that moment, it was like you were alone, or you thought you were, and you know, you could just be yourself." "That is such bullshit," Nancy says, "I am not trying o be someone else just because I'm dating Steve and you don't like him." They fight, he says, "Does that mean I have to like [Steve]?" Nancy says, "No." "Jonathan says, "Listen, don't take it so personally, okay? I don't like most people. He's in the vast majority." Nancy says, "I was actually starting to think you were okay. I was thinking, Jonathan Byers, maybe he's not the pretentious creep everyone says he is." Jonathan answers, "I was just starting to think you were okay, I was thinking Nancy Wheeler, she's not just another suburban girl who thinks she's rebelling by doing exactly what every other suburban girl does, until that phase passes and they marry some boring one-time jock who now works sales, and live out a perfectly boring little life at the end of a cul-de-sac, exactly like their parents, who they thought were so depressing." (this is a clash of perspective; Nancy is vaguely, defensively pro-ordinary and Jonathan is pro-strange and pretty-anti-ordinary)

1x06 Eleven confesses that she opened the gate and she's the monster. Mike says, "No, El, you're not the monster. You saved me." (her powers and her difference make her a hero; pro-strange)

1x08 Steve, the boring, popular one-time jock, comes back to fight the demogorgon alongside Nancy and Jonathan. (pro-ordinary)

1x08 Mike tells Eleven that when it's all over she can have a real bed in his basement and his parents will be like her parents and Nancy will be like her sister. "I was thinking, I don't know, maybe we can go to the Snow Ball together. It's this cheesy school dance where you go in the gym and dance to music and stuff." (cheesy ordinary school stuff that Mike wouldn't have considered going to before is now a desirable ending. pro-ordinary)

so the main thrust of season 1 is strongly pro-strange. ordinary people are blind to the evil and suffering in the world, and blind to the strengths of people like El and Will. Joyce is contrasted to the perfect prim Mrs. Wheeler; where Mrs. Wheeler's comfort and advice is useless, Joyce sees the truth and saves her child. Nancy and Jonathan butt heads, but end up being an effective team. there's just a little bit of ambiguity introduced at the tail end of the season: Mike doesn't want to escape or rebel against his family, he wants to bring El into it, and wants them both to go to the Snow Ball - the epitome of ordinary - together. and ordinary, shallow Steve surprises everyone (including the writers, who'd planned to kill him off) by showing courage and selflessness when it counts.

2x01 Steve talks to Nancy about the future: "I'm just going to end up working for my dad anyway. Is that such a bad thing? There's insurance and benefits and all that adult stuff." (the scene is about Nancy's fear of following in her parents’ footsteps, and so it leans pro-strange)

2x01 Will tells Jonathan that treating him like he's fragile just makes him feel like more of a freak. "You're not a freak," Jonathan tells him. "Yeah, I am. I am," Will answers. "You know what, you're right," Jonathan says. "You are a freak, but what? Do you want to be normal? Do you wanna be just like everyone else? Being a freak is the best, I'm a freak." "Is that why you don't have any friends?" Will asks. "I have friends, Will." "Then why are you always hanging out with me?" "Because you're my best friend, right? And I would rather be best friends with Zombie Boy than with a boring nobody. You know what I mean? Okay, look, who would you rather be friends with? Bowie, or Kenny Rogers." Will grimaces. "Exactly, it's no contest," Jonathan says. "The thing is, nobody normal every accomplished anything meaningful in this world. Got it?" "Well," Will says thoughtfully, "some people like Kenny Rogers." Bob, passing by in the hallway, says "Kenny Rogers? I love Kenny Rogers!" (strongly pro-strange, strongly anti-ordinary)

2x02 Nancy and Steve fight about whether to tell Barb's parents the truth or keep on pretending everything's alright. Steve says, "It's hard, but let's just go to Tina's stupid party, wear our stupid costumes that we've been working on for a stupid amount of time, and just pretend like we're stupid teenagers, okay?" (this scene is ambiguous, leaning pro-strange, because they both use the language of "pretend"--ordinariness is all a performance, a lie)

2x02 Bob asks Joyce, "What if we were to move out of Hawkins together? I was thinking about what you said, we have all these memories here and you wish you had enough money to move. My parents are selling their house in Maine, there's a Radio Shack nearby I'm sure they'd take me on. We could just..." He sees Joyce's reaction, and says ruefully, "My turn to be silly now." "No, it's just so hard to explain," she says. "It's just this...this is not a normal family." "It could be," Bob says. (this scene is ambiguous, leaning pro-strange. Bob means well but Joyce doesn't see his hopes as possible or realistic given the complications of their life)

2x02 Nancy drunkenly accuses Steve in the bathroom, "You're bullshit. You're pretending like everything's okay, you know, like we didn't...like we didn't kill Barb. Like it's great. Like we're in love, and we're partying." Steve echoes, "Like we're in love?" Nancy says venomously, "It's bullshit." Steve asks, "You don't love me?" (the scene is mostly pro-strange, but with a little ambiguity injected because we can see how much this hurts Steve)

2x02 Will tells Mike about his episodes, Mike tells Will about feeling like he sees Eleven. "I don't know, sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy," Mike says. "Me, too," Will says. "Hey, well, if we're both going crazy, then we'll go crazy together, right?" Mike says. "Yeah, crazy together," Will agrees. (pro-strange)

2x03 Nancy and Jonathan discuss the burden of carrying on after loss. "Maybe things just can't go back to the way they were," Jonathan says. "Doesn't that make you mad?" Nancy asks. (ambiguous! "the way things were" being possibly gone forever is a loss, according to Nancy.)

2x05 Bob deciphers Will's drawings, saving Hopper's life. (pro-ordinary)

2x06 Murray tells Nancy, "Probably, like everyone, you're afraid of what would happen if you accepted yourself for who you really are, and retreated back to the safety of...name? Name!" "Steve," Jonathan supplies. "Steve!" exclaims Murray. "We like Steve, but we don't love Steve." "We - I do!" Nancy protests. (pro-strange and anti-ordinary; Steve's only desirable characteristic is that he's safe, he's being set up as another Mr. Wheeler, the husband in another loveless marriage)

Bob tells Joyce, "I thought stuff like this happened in comic books and movies, not in Hawkins and certainly not to people like you." "Or you," she says. He chuckles, jokes, "Bob Newby, superhero." She asks if he's cold, he tells her not to worry about him. "It's not as if you didn't warn me, this is not a normal family, isn't that what you said? Kind of makes my idea of moving to Maine seem a little less crazy, doesn't it." Joyce says, "Oh, it's not crazy." (still ambiguous; Bob's heart isn't in question but it's still unclear whether he can keep up with the world he's been thrown into. his plan is to flee it, but is that admirable?)

2x07 Kali tells El, "We will always be monsters to them. Let me guess, your policeman, he also stops you from using your gifts? What you can do it incredible, it makes you very special, Jane." (pro-strange, anti-ordinary)

2x07 El tells Kali that she has to go back because her friends are in danger. Kali says, "There's nothing for you back there. They cannot save you, Jane." El answers, "No, but I can save them." (pro-strange but with nuance! the strange and the special have something to offer the ordinary)

2x08 Bob gets Joyce, Hopper, Will, and Mike out of the lab, saves all their lives. Mike tells everyone that Bob was the original founder of Hawkins AV club, that their teacher Mr. Clark learned everything he knows from Bob. (strongly pro-ordinary! not only is Bob a hero, but he's shown to have been just like the boys, and even though he grew up and became the epitome of normal, his legacy helps other little nerds)

so season two is more complex than season one. on the one hand, Nancy finishes the arc she started in season one: rejects Steve and chooses Jonathan, rejects ordinary and chooses strange, precisely because she sees being with Steve as buying into the whole suburban destiny that she now knows is a lie. on the other hand, the two main heroes of the season are Bob - Mr. Ordinary - and El, who rejects her sister's anti-ordinary worldview and chooses to use her strange gifts in service of her ordinary friends.

3x03 Joyce tells Hopper that the magnets can't be a coincidence, and he says "I don't think it's a joke, I think that when I asked you out, I think you got scared. I think you got scared, and now, you're inventing things. You're inventing things to get worked up about so that you can push me away, because God forbid any of us move on! Because that, that would be too much, right Joyce?" (the strange happenings are seen as an excuse to stay away from ordinary vulnerabilities; the scene is vaguely pro-ordinary, filtered through angry hungover yelling)

3x03 Dustin tries to tell Steve that he should date Robin, Steve tells him she's not his type: "For your information, she's still in school. And she's weird. She's a weirdo. And she's hyper. I don't like that she's hyper. And she did drama. That's a bad look. And she's in band? No." Dustin says, "Now that you're out of high school, which means you're technically an adult, don't you think it's time you move on from primitive constructs such as popularity?" (pro-strange)

3x07 Steve confesses to Robin on the bathroom floor, "The point is, this girl, you know, the one that I like, it's somebody that I didn't even talk to in school. And I don't even know why. Maybe cause Tommy H would have made fun of me, or I wouldn't be...prom king? It's stupid. I mean, Dustin's right, it's all just a bunch of bullshit anyways. Because when I think about it, I should've been hanging out with this girl the whole time. First of all, she's hilarious. She's so funny. I feel like this summer I have laughed harder than I have laughed in a really long time. And she's smart. Way smarter than me. You now, she can crack, like, top secret Russian codes and, you know, she's honestly unlike anyone I've ever even met before." Robin tells him he's not thinking straight, he says he's thinking a lot more clearly than normal. She says, "Look, he doesn't even know this girl, and if he did know her, like, really know her, I don't think he'd even want to be her friend." "No, that's not true, no way is that true," Steve says. (pro-strange)

3x08 Joyce re-initiates her date with Hopper, calling it what it is this time. If the world doesn't end, they deserve to celebrate. They deserve to move on. (pro-ordinary)

season three takes a step back from the focus on these themes or any themes. as in s2, Joyce tries to have the courage to seek an ordinary happy ending again, and again, experiences loss. the only person still grappling is Steve, who's coming to see more deeply the parts of "normalcy" that deserve to be rejected.

4x01 Eddie's introduction speech: "We're the freaks because we like to play a fantasy game. But as long as you're into band or science or parties or a game where you toss balls into laundry baskets...it's forced conformity, that's what's killing the kids. That's the real monster." (pro strange, casually anti-ordinary)

4x01 Chrissy confesses to Eddie, "You know, you're not what I thought you'd be like." "Mean and scary?" he guesses. "Yeah." "Yeah, well, I actually kinda thought you'd be kinda mean and scary too." (this scene is pro-strange AND pro-ordinary! neither of them is what the other thought they'd be, underneath the "freak" and "queen of Hawkins High" facade)

4x07 One's manifesto: "Why would you cry for them, Eleven, after all they did to you? You think you need them but you don't, you don't. Oh, but I know you're just scared. I was scared once, too. I know what it's like to be different, to be alone in this world. Like you, I didn't fit in with the other children. Something was wrong with me. All the teachers and the doctors said I was...broken, they said. My parents thought a change of scenery, a fresh start in Hawkins might just cure me. It was absurd. As if the world would be any different here. But then, to my surprise our new home provided a discovery and a newfound sense of purpose. I found a nest of black widows living inside a vent. Most people fear spiders, they detest them, and yet I found them endlessly fascinating. More than that, I found a great comfort in them, a kinship. Like me, they are solitary creatures and deeply misunderstood. They are gods of our world, the most important of all predators. They immobilize and feed on the weak, bringing balance and order to an unstable ecosystem. But the human world was disrupting this harmony. You see, humans are a unique type of pest, multiplying and poisoning our world, all while enforcing a structure of their own - a deeply unnatural structure. Where others saw order, I saw a straitjacket, a cruel, oppressive world dictated by made-up rules. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades, each life a faded, lesser copy of the one before. Wake up, eat, work, sleep, reproduce and die. Everyone is just waiting, waiting for it all to be over, all while performing in a silly, terrible play, day after day. I could not do that. I could not close off my mind and join in the madness, I could not pretend. And I realized...I didn't have to. I could make my own rules. I could restore balance to a broken world. A predator, but for good....I could reach into others, into their minds, their memories. I became an explorer. I saw my parents for what they truly were. To the world, they presented themselves as good, normal people, but like everything else in this world it was all a lie, a terrible lie. They had done things, Eleven, such awful things. I showed them who they really were, I held up a mirror....To your papa, Eleven, you are just an animal, a monster, a lab rat to be tamed, but the truth is just the opposite. You are better than they are. Superior....If you come with me for the first time in your life you will be free. Imagine what we could do together. We could reshape the world, remake it however we see fit." (this is explicitly the villain’s perspective which it is clear we are not supposed to share, and so the scene circles back around to pro-ordinary. moreover El, our hero, rejects his proposal, and so we see that the heart of the strange doesn't have to be about superiority and resentment, and so it's also pro-strange)

4x08 Will's speech to Mike, about El and about himself: "These past few months she's been so lost without you. It's just, she's so different from other people, and when you're...when you're different, sometimes you feel like a mistake. But you make her feel like she's not a mistake at all, like she's better for being different. And that gives her the courage to fight on." (pro-strange & pro ordinary! ordinary Mike makes his strange loved ones feel like they belong; they fit together)

4x08 Steve's speech in the Winnebago while Fire and Rain plays: "It's silly, but I've actually...I always had this dream that I'd have this really, really big family. I'm talking like a full brood of Harringtons. Like, five, six kids?" "Six?" Nancy repeats. "Yeah, six little nuggets. Three girls, three boys. And every summer I figured all of us Harringtons we'd pack into something like this and just see the country. You know, the Rockies, Grand Canyon, maybe Yellowstone, end up in some beachside town in California, spend a week parked in the sand, learn how to surf or something." Nancy says, "That sounds nice." "Yeah?" Steve asks. "Yeah," she says, then shakes herself and adds, "Well, um, except for the six kid part, that sounds like a total nightmare." Steve gestures around the kid-filled RV and says wryly, "If only I had some practice!" Nancy smiles, and says, "All right, fair. That's fair." (strongly pro-ordinary! but at least a little ambiguous because Nancy tries to brush it off after.)

4x09 Max hides "in the light": the Snow Ball. its ordinary goodness is a haven against the darkness, which is invisible to Vecna who can only see the evil of the world. (pro-ordinary)

4x09 Jason tells Lucas, "I was wrong about you. I never should've let you in the door." Lucas answers, "And I never should have knocked. I thought I wanted to be like you. Popular. Normal. But it turns out, normal's just a raging psychopath." (pro-strange, anti-ordinary)

4x09 El tries to get through to Vecna: "I know what [Papa] did to you. You were different, like me. And he hurt you. He made you into this. He is the monster, Henry, not you. Not you!" "You're right," Vecna answers, "you and I, we are different. And Papa did hurt me, but he was no monster. He was just a man, an ordinary, mediocre man. That is why he sought greatness in others, in you, and me. But in the end, he could not control us, he could not shape us, he could not change us. Do you not see, Eleven? He did not make me into this. You did." (this scene is more ambiguous than his previous one--it's clear we ought to reject his extreme anti-ordinary views that make him want to destroy the world, but it's less clear what we are to make of the fact that El did reshape him)

4x09 Mike's speech to El: “I love you on your good days, I love you on your bad days. I love you with your powers, without your powers. I love you for exactly who you are. You're my superhero.” (like his conversation with Will, it's both pro-strange and pro-ordinary)

4x09 El uses her powers to restart Max's heart, focusing on their happy memories together rather than any anger - her power is more than violence, it can also be beauty. (pro-strange)

season four, things are coming to a head! the "normal" townspeople are shown to be afraid of what they don't understand, and prone to blaming the wrong person just because they're different - but if we look closely, Jason isn't evil, he's just misdirected. he does want to kill Eddie, but then again all our main characters want to kill Henry, and it just so happens that they're correct about who's to blame. Jason's biases are wrong, but his intent- Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good - is very much right and in line with the message of the show. Jonathan and Nancy's forays into anti-ordinary thinking are shown to be eerily similar to that of the monster haunting them - and moreover, Jonathan's solitary ways lead to him smoking so much pot that he can't even be there for the people he does care about. El remains committed to using her powers to help her friends; she doesn't want to be a monster just because she is different. and Steve finally reveals himself as the anti-Vecna, completing his transformation into the embodiment of ordinary. his prior classification as "babysitter", an unorthodox role for a teenage boy to choose, has been replaced by a sincere desire for the most orthodox of destinies for an adult man: fatherhood.