#that absolutely cannot be healthy

[cosmic-luka]

[vent in tags]

[ineffectualbookseller]

It just really GRINDS MY GEARS the way Crowley is keeping so much from Aziraphale this season but also I TOTALLY understand why he's doing it

The thing is we saw Aziraphale keep a huge secret from Crowley in season 1 after he got his hands on the Nice and Accurate Prophecies and went to heaven with the information about Adam rather than telling Crowley, but then we saw him grow from that mistake. He realized how wrong a decision that was and that's why he's SO committed to them working as a team in season 2. The way he immediately goes to Crowley when Gabriel shows up and keeps him updated whenever he talks to heaven and even calls from Edinburgh to tell him about the new Clue (and maybe to brag a little because he's feeling proud)

and YEAH Aziraphale lies. I'm not saying he doesn't. He's a liar. Lies to himself, to heaven, to hell, to god's face, and sometimes to Crowley. But in my opinion, the biggest lie he tells Crowley about the occult/ethereal goings-on this season is not telling him about Shax on the drive back to Edinburgh. And I think the reason he doesn't is the same reason he's SO nervous to tell him about Gabriel at first; he's afraid Crowley will overreact - will totally freak out when he realizes Aziraphale is being threatened. Which is, frankly, justified. He would.

But then Crowley is over here lying about SO MUCH all season. And some of the lies are about his own pride (i.e. not telling his self-described bestie that he has been UNHOUSED for YEARS during a GLOBAL PANDEMIC) but mostly he does it because he thinks it is protecting Aziraphale. Because he is so obsessed with saving Aziraphale.

Everyone knows it - Demons are using threats against Aziraphale as a way to intimidate Crowley all over the shop (a good tactic tbf, far more effective than threatening Crowley himself), and Aziraphale openly speaks it.

But the actual reason he does it is because he's so concerned about proving his worth to Aziraphale. We know Crowley has self-esteem issues. He's all smoke and mirrors - not a man (nb) just a flashy jacket wrapped around a bundle of insecurities and anxieties. He still thinks he needs to prove himself to Aziraphale, that he needs to make himself worthy of his partnership. He cognitively knows they should be equals, a team of the two of them on their own side, but he just can't shake the notion that Aziaphale needs a reason to fraternize with a demon.

And of course, Aziraphale doesn't. He loves Crowley as he is and sees just as much worth in the small acts of bringing him chocolates at the bookshop opening or clearing them a table at the Ritz. True, he does love that Crowley loves saving him, but not because he actually needs it, because it's part of the flirty game they play. But he's not honest enough to tell Crowley as much clearly (not that speaking it would solve Crowley's self-worth issues).

The thing is, "Saving me makes him so happy" is so much cuter when you're fully PRETENDING to be stuck in the Bastille and don't know any other way of asking your crush out on a lunch date. Because now the forces of heaven and hell are knocking on THEIR bookshop door and all they have is each other but Crowley hasn't been honest with Aziraphale about the seriousness of this threat and Aziraphale didn't warn him about Shax BECAUSE he knew he would be overprotective. Crowley needs so badly to be the hero he's undermined their power as a team.

And that's the dramatic irony of it all. As an audience, it is spelled out so clearly for us that they are at their best, their most powerful, as a team. They are a whole greater than the sum of its parts. The fact of Crowley's incessant need to prove himself, to be the hero, to "protect" Aziraphale from all this information that he has been choosing to lie about all season - it's just making them weaker.

TLDR; Crowley is lying to Aziraphale to keep him safe because he still feels like he needs to prove himself to be worthy of Aziraphale's partnership but this makes it impossible for them to truly work as a team and is hurting them both

[blossoms-phan]

I have been watching old videos in tour preparation and was staggered by how much happier and healthier Dan and Phil both look now. You can see how suffocated by the whole thing they were back for a period pre hiatus. Those years where the enjoyment and fun had gone is a tough watch.

I dipped out for a while and missed this period, and so looking back now you literally see the lights dim in Dan's eyes over a year or so, and how fed up of forcing an act he was.

The absolute chaos and fun and joy that has been post hiatus really emphasises just how tired and over hiding and lying and being yes men they must have been. It makes me appreciate this new era of content so much more. I would watch them watching grass grow, if it kept them smiling and happy and fulfilled, rather than making content for us, that made them that miserable.

oh :(( anon this really broke me and i have a lot of thoughts about this tbh.

as someone who's been lucky enough to watch them change and grow over 10 years, i think something we all know is how it's nothing compared to now, but like there was a clear shift around 2018 with tour and just the way that they presented themselves publicly. in part, they started to become a little bit more comfortable with each other and carefree about sharing certain things. again, looking back this sounds strange to say but im talking purely compared to the years before then- it was absolutely different. of course, we all know that this time was extremely difficult for dan, struggling with authenticity and "living his truth". i love ii, this is in no way dogging on it bc i think there's room to be proud of it and what they did but also the entire concept of "giving the people what they want" is almost poetic considering dan's internal turmoil during this time, like with what he said during one of those reaction videos- "c'mon dan, give the people what they want and then you can disappear forever." multiple people on here have put it like this before but there are certain points like in ii era liveshows where you can tell dan is just buzzing with this restless, frustrated energy, like he's stuck inside his own skin and can't crawl out of it.

i will say that i think just on some practical level, i like to tell myself that it wasn't all doom and gloom pre-hiatus and that there were obviously moments of happiness or comfort or things that they genuinely enjoyed doing, like travelling the world or something as small as playing a fun game. but i would be lying to myself if i denied the fact that they absolutely struggled at points, and that dan was fed up of struggling with the pain of wanting to be his true, authentic self, but being scared. again though, it's not all bad. this was the first time that dan started to accept and at least think about coming out, and all those moments where they signed pride flags and he would say things like "hopefully one day" to people who told them their stories really cements his point that the acceptance and support his audience gave helped him. the hiatus was so important for their personal growth, to heal their relationship with us, and like you pointed out they really were "yes men"- phil constantly pointing out how learning how to say no has helped a ton.

there are no words to describe this new era other than pure fun, joy, and whimsy. it's been an absolute privilege to see their personal growth, to watch them allow themselves to focus on themselves and be happy and open and watch them have the time of their lives and reassure us that they're enjoying it and not going anywhere anytime soon. i'm right there with you, i just feel so happy and appreciative of being here experiencing this new era with you all and them, and i just want them to do whatever makes them happy and fulfilled. which is what i think they're doing right now with the tour, and they knew it mere months after the comeback which they had no real long term plans for, but we showed up for them, and they know that which is why it makes the idea of our mutual "healing" and entering this new era together so exciting <3

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

got so into my laughingstock feels that i burnt my fuckign toast

[baliisarda]

"Preying upon a boy as a woman needs to be discussed more in medias" You guys couldn't even handle Marie-Thérèse and Octavian I fear

[greensaplinggrace]

unfortunately i'm like 160 episodes into tma and still don't get the obsession with martin. like i don't hate him but also- literally every other character and relationship is more interesting. also fanon version of him sucks lol. canon version of him is actually appealing to me in some ways, but considering fanon martin makes 90% of tma fic unreadable, i'm not too stoked about even having him tagged half the time.

[mithomite]

okay in my defense here guys i am going through a really weird time right now. so . bwahhhh r+m posting 4eva

[ronkeyroo]

Some old Prompdyn doodles I drew long time ago 📸🌹 Have I mentioned they’re my favorites?? My lovelies???

[curiouschaosstarlight]

Dottore already had a sort of low opinion of himself; not in the classic imposter syndrome type of way where he cannot recognize his own achievements -- if anything, his brilliance is one of the only things he likes about himself -- but when you're told over and over and over again how terrible and inhuman you are, by everyone you've ever known, it's hard not to start believing it.

But it kinda reached a whole new low after he made his segments.

It's not just the arguments, he has those with everyone, though it's certainly disheartening to realize even other versions of yourself won't agree with you on very many things-

It's that he, and all segments, double as "perfect subjects". Truly, if anyone was to understand his motivations, if anyone was to be able to handle the worst, most experimental of his ideas, it would be he, himself, right? Especially if "he", if "Dottore", becomes completely, easily replaceable...

While many fear him, the people that realize that Dottore has to fear himself is little to none. No one ever thinks twice about what happens when the Doctor winds up needing a doctor himself, and what it might mean for one version of him to be left completely and utterly vulnerable to another; those who do consider it would not and could not be faulted for simply assuming he'd have more respect and compassion for himself out of any possible other patient or subject he'd get his hands on, and want to ensure his own safety first and foremost. It would be strange to assume the exact opposite, wouldn't it?

And certainly, it would be even stranger to hold a grudge against oneself for such things, and then act on that grudge, forever perpetuating a cycle where all segments are far from inclined to treat each other with kindness or an ounce of mercy, wouldn't it?

People oft avoid being left in silence, by themselves, because the thoughts in their head, every negative memory and self-destructive impulse or intrusive pondering, come to haunt them when the happenings of the outside world can no longer distract them or drown such things out-

How unfortunate it is, then, to be left with oneself, where anything can happen, and no one will come check on you, because even if they, for a fleeting moment, didn't think you'd be safe, why would they bother? Why would they care?

And, truly, could he even ask them to?

Could he really?

It's not like he's ever going to be any more merciful when it gets to be his turn to have power over another segment.

It's never like that.

[running-in-the-dark]

and I'm having thoughts again

so I've been watching that John Larroquette interview that I reblogged on repeat for half an hour now and I'm just. man I am so very....... okay I'm trying not to say that I'm stupid anymore but god what else is there to say. it's making me feel like my brain just turns off and all there is is static and [insert very high frequency screaming sound].

like I would love to be able to have actual thoughts about this shit but I am not. I just love love love people who think about shit and face their issues and work on getting better. and talk about it. like it's just a thing that happened. because it is. it's not 'oh you did bad shit in your past so you're fucked forever now'. it's 'bad shit happened, I did bad things, I confronted it, I made different choices' and that's it. I just. man I'm feeling really emotional and am probably gonna have a good long cry about this now.

[deviousdevilx]

As someone who considers themselves aromantic, I find it incredibly heartbreaking, as well as frustrating watching people debase themselves for ~romantic love~.

[devilfic]

What is a "codependent psychosexual platonic relationship"? Genuine question

need I say more

[tetedurfarm]

you would think that the goat who actually managed to birth two kids would not have this problem but unfortunately i live in hell world

[lesbians4armand]

so funny as a multishipper when i encounter a ship i just. don’t like. like what is this.

[thesoftestpunk]

Trying to tell myself I don’t have a herniated disc but deeply worried that I have a herniated disc

[pink-elefantz]

speaking as someone who grew up in a very nutritionally focused family (at least half of us have ocd) the whole ''heres this weeks findings on what foods are going to slowly kill u'' industry is infinitely more deadly than any food could ever be