#that Gojo and geto friendship still breaking me

[basically-an-anime-stan-acct]

I’m not okay, are you? 🥺😭

[bunny584]

Hard Night, Good Morning

A/N: .....i…no one look at me. Just read. Hurt/Comfort/hurt? Idk. This shit had me scream crying either way. Post Sukuna Kaisen, but the good guys won.

Art credit: Narutoss_ramen on X

Satoru remembers. His Six Eyes may have dulled to just two. And the battle scars may have faded. But the memories — the film roll featuring a life lived and still living…are all there.

Satoru remembers, but Suguru has forgotten.

His name. His home. The life he’s lived. The life he lost. The friendships, the family, the triumphs, the sins. It’s all gone because Suguru Geto died on December 24th.

At least, his soul did.

And yet, Satoru is about to buy coffee from the shell of a man he once loved. Here. Today. With a smile more beautiful than the first day of summer solstice.

Tabula Rasa. Blank Slate. A stranger he knows better than the back of his hand.

How will The Strongest…no, how will Satoru Gojo choose to know Suguru Geto in this iteration of his life?

Friends? Lovers?

Or just a patron of the handsome barista at a countryside coffee shop with the best lavender latte around.

Ignorance has a way of making things beautiful. 

Exquisite, really. 

Satoru’s eyes flutter closed. His angular nose nestles into an arc of plumb blossoms. Dancing in the wind. Hanging freely — generously — for everyone on its walking path to enjoy. 

Has the world always been this gorgeous?

And so…quiet. 

It was the first thing Satoru noticed once his Six Eyes were laid to rest. The moment Limitless buzzed inward for the very last time, all he could see was silence. 

Saffron became orange. 

Emerald became green. 

Ursa Major became a handful of stars. 

The Sun stayed the Sun. The Moon seemed so cold. And the world became so dull. 

Wonderfully and peacefully dull. 

Satoru was no longer tortured by hyperawareness. A double edged sword, but a sword no less. The minuscule details of a person’s skin or each drop of rainfall during a thunderstorm no longer gnawed at his sanity. 

The smoke eventually settled. 

The Survivors, they aptly nicknamed themselves, peeled off the armor. When the chaos dissipated and the Demon was banished to the Hell he belonged, The Survivors dispersed. 

Unable to hold each other’s gaze. For fear of recognizing the monsters they had to become to earn the throne from the King of Curses. 

So, Satoru found himself buying a one-way ticket to the tail end of the country.

Where the greens and oranges and yellows exist that much more peacefully. And the Sun is the Sun. But the handful of stars are solar bright and the Moon is the warmest it’s ever been for him.

And he is so damn lucky.

To have the privilege of living without the weight of being The Strongest. 

To stop and smell spring on his way to partake in the latest breaking news. 

A new coffee shop. 

Bone dry cappuccinos. Colombian espresso. Raspberry macaroons without the threat of curses and fear and death and loss knocking around his skull. 

“Good morning! Welcome in.”

What?

The chimes above the door may as well be blow horns. Tearing at the eardrums Satoru is sure are already ruined. The meaningless, polite greeting suddenly holds the gravity of an entire galaxy behind it. 

But not because the words are unique. 

The voice. 

Satoru could be dumb, deaf and blind. He would recognize that voice under any circumstance. 

As a baby? He’d know that voice signifies safety. 

As a teen? That voice meant becoming a man worth respecting. With morals that would save millions. 

That night? That voice meant love. In the cruelest sense of the word. 

Then? That voice only spewed lies. 

And now? That voice means…it means..

“Don’t be shy, I don’t bite.” Brilliant amethyst eyes melt the ice shackles around Satoru’s feet. 

Royal purple. Somewhere between indigo and violet. A warm, heavy cloak when they are looking at you reverently. When they’re trusting. Bright. Honest. 

But when they see you as the enemy? The other? Trying to thwart a world they’ve envisioned and worked hard for, those amethyst eyes are more lethal than scorpion venom. 

“S-su…Suguru…?” His feet move forward all at once. Nearly impaling himself on the counter. Satoru’s peripheral vision isn’t as sharp, but there is a line. And yet, none of that matters.

None of it fucking matters.

The barista’s thick, inky locks are pulled up like it used to be when they were seventeen. His shoulders are as broad and muscular as they were the last night they spoke. His voice.

 His voice 

And his eyes. And lips. And smile. The stupid, boyish dimple cratered in his left cheek. With eyelashes long enough to support a fleet of planes taking off the runway. 

It’s Suguru. 

Suguru Geto. 

Not an imposter. Not something so dark and blasphemous, Satoru nearly flattened the Earth to exorcise.

Just Suguru.

And he knows it to be true. Not by his eyes, because they can lie to him now. But his soul and heart would tell him otherwise. 

“Suguru..” Satoru tastes a name so foreign to his lips, he nearly chokes on it.

The beautiful boy lets out a gentle chuckle. Flickering down to his name tag before returning eye contact. 

“So I’m told.” He shrugs. His long span reaches over to place a porcelain espresso cup beneath the machine nozzle.

“You look like you need something strong. Hard night?”

“Y—yeah.” Say something real, idiot.

 “Ahh,” Suguru rolls his plump bottom lip under his teeth. Eyebrows crawling together in genuine concern. And Satoru wishes he could swallow his heart currently beating in his throat.

“Let’s start with an espresso, then. What’s your name?” 

The question alone nearly brings Satoru to his knees.

How could he not know?

It’s me, Suguru. 

Satoru Gojo and Suguru Geto. 

Their names only being a few letters away is a testament to the relationship they shared. They’ve only ever existed as one. As sure as the Sun rising in the east and setting in the west. In lockstep like a custom made door key. 

Suguru’s name is…was an integral part of his identity. Not just his vocabulary. 

“Uh, Satoru.” Sweaty palms fiddle for his wallet. Anything to dull the searing pain in his chest. 

“Satoru…?” 

“Yes?” Arctic eyes snap up to meet violet ones. As if the barista spontaneously remembered, Satoru’s flushed lips hang open with naive hope. 

But Suguru just quietly rolls the syllables of his name around one more time. Rich on the tongue, he decides. “That’s a nice name.” 

“Thanks.” Disappointment weighs heavy on his shoulders.

“The espresso is on the house. What else can I make for you, Satoru?”

And his name sounds sweeter than the pastry he stumbled in here for. He would pay anything. To tuck that velvet voice in a jar and replay it on rainy days, Satoru would give anything. 

“A lavender latte.” He flickers to the glass display. “And two of the Kikufuku, please.”

“Done. Have a seat.” Suguru nods at the corner table.

“Take a load off. I’ll bring your stuff over.” His lips lax into an intoxicating smile and Satoru’s world spins. 

No more than two seconds after his butt hits the seat, Satoru wedges his cell between his ear and shoulder. Each unanswered ring chips away at his patience. 

“Hey normie.” 

“Shoko,” Satoru sighs into the speaker. Too relieved to insult her back.

“Long time no speak,” she chides. He can almost hear the pull of her cigarette sizzling against her lips. 

“I know.” She’s right, but none of them are speaking right now. They all need a little time. 

“Sorry about that. Listen, I’ve got a question.” Satoru chews his bottom lip raw. Suguru’s back is facing him, perfecting his order.

“Don’t sound so tortured about it, shoot.” Shoko swings the door wide open and Satoru barrels through. 

“When people come back from the dead, what’s the likelihood of losing all memories?” 

“What?” Her tone makes his question sound so egregious he almost rethinks asking it. 

Almost. 

He doesn’t though. Because the raven-haired barista has flashed his Colgate smile and will be heading over in t-2 minutes. And Satoru…he needs something to hold onto. A life vest to keep him from drowning.

“C’mon Sho, how do memories work when you bring people back from the dead?” Each word is more hushed than the last. A thinly veiled attempt at hiding his insanity. 

“…when did you find him?” 

The second time today oxygen is taken directly from Satoru’s lungs. How did she know?

“What the hell are you—“

“How is he..?”

“Shoko, I don’t know what you’re talking—“

“He was my friend TOO, Satoru.” His best friend cuts down his silver-tongued lies for the last time. 

She’s right.

It’s inhumane to brush it aside. Satoru cannot fathom the pain she had to work through when she lost Suguru. Then Satoru. And Suguru again. It’s unfair for him to be selfish with this. 

“This morning.” He concedes.  

The doctor mulls his answer over. Short, choppy breaths that sound more relieved than not feather through the speaker.

“Let’s talk tomorrow, my patient is here.” She ends the call before he can protest. The life vest won’t come today. Not from Shoko at least.

As always, Suguru enters with perfect timing. Balancing an espresso, latte and dessert on one forearm. He always did move with the grace of a danseur noble. 

“Your treats.” In one fluid motion, a pair of steaming drinks and sweets are lined in front of him in the order they should be consumed. 

He is still so thoughtful.

The leash around Satoru’s control snaps in half. His hand darts to Suguru’s forearm just as he turns to leave. His person tilts his head to the side. Quizzical. But kind. And patient. Satoru hasn’t said a word but he knows Suguru would listen to each syllable. 

“Do you not…have them?” Satoru can hardly believe the words coming out of his mouth. 

“Have what?” Suguru probes, stepping into his grasp. 

“The hard nights,” the Strongest retorts. Darting his eyes out of the window as if the two of them are in a realm they don’t belong in. 

And maybe they are. 

Satoru bites back a fond chuckle when Suguru makes his face. An exaggerated frown with narrowed eyes. He resembles a jaguar most in those moments, and Satoru never let him live it down. 

“No,” Suguru starts, shaking his head almost regretfully. “I don’t remember enough to have a sleepless night.”

He could remember for the both of them. 

Satoru would spend every minute of every hour of every day for the rest of his life infusing memories into his best friend. Whatever he wanted to know. He’ll speak from sunrise to sunset until he passed on and call it a life well lived. 

“What do you…what do you mean?” Satoru pipes up, pulling the barista back when he attempts to leave again. 

Suguru’s confusion melts into the warmth Satoru never found a replacement for. No one ever looked at him so tenderly. Grace and patience tailor made just for him. 

“It’s a long, bizarre story,” Suguru warns. 

“I have time!” Satoru sits up in his seat. Still gripping his forearm. 

“We—I, I have all the time in the world now, Suguru.” 

His casual laugh is anything but. Fractures in his base. A wobble at the tail end of Suguru’s name. 

Satoru is anything but casual. 

And Suguru knows it. 

The way his eyes soften when he scans the retired sorcerer’s face. He always did read Satoru like a children’s coloring book. 

“Sure, I’m on a break anyway.” 

Suguru settles into the seat across from him. Meanwhile Satoru digs the pads of his fingers into his thighs. Anything to keep from reaching out and caressing those stunning features that used to keep him (and everyone else) up at night. 

He was so stupid back then. 

Not letting himself acknowledge the way his body reacted to Suguru. The boy had his body so well trained within the first few days of meeting him. 

On any given day all Satoru wanted was to touch him. And feel him. And take him in any way Suguru was willing to give. 

Even when he gave, it was not enough.

How could it be?

Suguru’s heart ran deeper than Mariana’s Trench and soared higher than Mount Everest — and it still wasn’t enough to quench Satoru’s thirst. 

His visceral need. To live and breathe in the dark haired curse user with striking violet eyes. 

It’ll never be enough. 

“What’s on your mind, Satoru?” The barista probes. A question with the comfort of being familiar and pain of being foreign all at once. 

Satoru offers a lopsided smile. His hand swiping the moisture from the back of his neck.

“Sorry. You remind me of someone I used to know.”

“Mmm,” Suguru’s smile feels nostalgic. “Was he a good person?”

The question is earnest. Almost like he’s trying to learn about himself because his mind has betrayed him. 

Satoru gathers a shaky breath. Digging crescent moons into his sweaty palms. 

“The best.” He won’t cry today. He refuses to. 

“Principled. Moral. So right in his thinking it…” Satoru drops his gaze. 

Unable to sustain eye contact with his fondest memory and biggest regret. Just sitting across from him on a sunny Sunday morning. 

“Sounds like you liked him, then.” Suguru muses. 

“I loved him.” I love you.

“Mmm.” Suguru’s striking lines soften in a way that reminds Satoru why he could never muster the courage to hate him. No matter how many guns were pointed at his head.

An imaginary fork pushes around their words. Like the extra time in the air would let them dry out. Suddenly become devoid of all its meaning.

“Is something wrong?” Suguru breaks the silence and startles Satoru down to the present. 

“What?”

“The coffee,” Concern etched into the barista’s face. “Is there something wrong? You’re tearing up—“

Suguru’s hand lands on Satoru’s wet cheek before he has a chance to swipe the rogue tears away. 

And he can’t help himself. Both hands snake around Suguru’s wrist. The life vest he’s been desperate for.

 Satoru’s lids flutter shut. 

And for a moment, albeit fleeting, but present nonetheless — for a moment everything is right.

Satoru and Suguru are 17 again. Riding the high of being strong, the strongest. 

They were untouchable. 

And Satoru was so helplessly in love. 

Greens were emerald, back then. Oranges were saffron. But the Sun was Suguru. And if Satoru was the Moon then he clawed his way to dawn each night, just to get a glimpse of him. 

“Sato—“

“I’m sorry. Sorry about that.” Satoru bashfully relinquishes his grip. 

Despite its freedom, Suguru’s hand hovers over his cheek. Ready to act if any more tears come. 

Of course, he is. 

And thankfully, they don’t. 

But Suguru’s concern persists. “Just…wait here, okay? I’ll go get some tissues.” 

Satoru offers a feeble smile. A half nod in feigned agreement. But the millisecond he disappears around the corner, Satoru is out the door.

He promised he wouldn’t cry today. 

And it wouldn’t be the first time he lied to himself. 

“Gorgeous.” 

Suguru buries his face into a brush of plum blossoms. His morning walk is littered with them and for some reason he feels connected to the blooms.

Almost as if memories from a past life are clawing underwater — desperate to break the surface before the tide crashes in again.

A frustrated breath showers the soft petals grazing his nose. 

It’s cruel. 

Existing like this is cruel.

To live and breathe and walk next to lives rich with memories. Adorned with hope and love and loss and pain. 

Yet Suguru has nothing. 

He must’ve been a monster to deserve this punishment. To wake up a blank slate. The letters of his own name had to be learned.

He must’ve been awful. 

The chimes above the shop door knock his thoughts loose.

It’s not totally true. Suguru does remember one thing. The only thing from that night the gods saw fit to leave in his reservoir.

The cold. 

It seared through him like a sword fit for a king. 

Suguru was nearly blinded by the sterile fluorescent lights. The walls leaned away from him. Accusatory. His presence bastardized the delicate line between life and death.

It was unacceptable. 

And so, he paid the steep price of life after soul-death with his memories. 

It’s unfair how vividly Suguru remembers the campfire eyes that were foreign and yet so inviting. Hovering over him. Salty streams splashed on his face like a summer storm. 

“Suguru??” Honeyed tobacco on her voice. Sweet and stringent all at once. 

“You’re awake. You’re here. God I—“ Misty mahogany eyes raked his face for another second before she landed her body into his stunned arms. 

“W-who are you?” Suguru stammered into her dampened neck. Hugging her just as tight because it’s what his body told him to do. 

“Someone who hates you. And loves you more than I could ever hate you.” She was hushed and pressured. Pressing angry, short kisses along his forehead. Sore with a linear cut and stitches that stung. 

“You have to go.” The woman stuffed an envelope bursting with yen into his hand. Stuffing a wallet full of IDs and note cards into his other.

“What is all this?” Was the last question he squeezed out to the pretty stranger.

She hissed strict instructions on how to leave the city. Where he came to life was no longer safe. But she emptied her savings into his hands. Because if he just listened to her. If he followed her directions to a tee and make it out of city limits alive, he would be set for the next decade at the very least. 

This same memory plagues Suguru’s otherwise empty mind day in and day out. He’s learned to live with the sudden flashback that catches his heart mid-beat. And holds it hostage for a minute or two.

Suguru shrugs the chills sprinting down his spine away. Circling a damp napkin along the counter. Less than a minute before the doors unlock and he can just tell today is going to be one of those— 

7:00 AM on the dot.

A familiar wind chime interrupts his train of thought.

Already?

Suguru eyes land on the reason for the prompt melody. 

And his souls halts where he stands. 

He can’t be real. 

A dream maybe? A hallucination?

He must be. The light that halos around him from crown to feet originates in Heaven. Bright enough to pierce lightyears away through earth’s insignificant clouds and blind Suguru in his tracks.

Satoru. 

A celestial prince walking among the likes of him.

Wholly unworthy of witnessing something so beautiful. So above the plane of his existence. Suguru doesn’t deserve to breathe around the ethereal being, much less serve him coffee. 

But he’ll count his blessings, nonetheless. 

“Hard night?” Suguru forces a steady tone to his casual greeting. 

He’s anything but casual. 

“They always are.” Satoru’s boyish smile is the first sip of warm hot cocoa on a wintery Sunday morning. 

Suguru could nibble and suck and roll the demigod’s words over his tongue all day and never grow tired of the taste. 

He flips a freshly cleaned espresso mug under the machine. Mulling over the number of times he can claim “it’s on the house” before Satoru realizes he could ask Suguru for anything and it would always be on his dime. 

“You don’t sleep very much do you?” The barista probes. Swallowing the elaborate rock formation that somehow materialized in his throat the second Satoru landed the Aegean Sea on him. 

Those eyes stretch a million miles and Suguru would happily swim to the end of the earth to experience the entirety of them. 

“No.” A sheepish smile curls up Satoru’s full baby pink lips. Baring a 10,000 kilowatt smile that nearly electrifies him to death.  

Suguru settles an espresso and lavender latte in front of him. Waving away the outstretched credit card. 

“You can call me, you know.” The offer tumbles out of Suguru before he had the wherewithal to edit the frivolous statement.

“What?” Satoru’s gorgeous eyes widen and Suguru digs sharp nails into his sweaty palm.

“Call me.” He’s stupidly bold. 

“—When you can’t sleep. I’m not that interesting and don’t have much to by way of advice given that I only started creating memories a couple months ago. But I’m a good listener.” Suguru’s cheeks ascend in degree with each word of his sloppy rant. 

“You are…” Satoru corroborates his egregious claims as if it’s truth.

How would he know if he’s any good at listening? They just met yesterday morning. 

“So, call me.” Suguru shrugs his shoulders with the familiarity of someone who has known Satoru his whole life. 

Before the voltaic being can protest, Suguru scribbles digits that are plastered all over his apartment walls. Spaced repetition of his own phone number  for fear that his memory would decide to rip away the little he is currently storing. 

Time freezes while Satoru studies the scribbled numbers. His lips form that devastatingly beautiful blue smile more brilliant than his eyes. With the depth of twenty seas combined. 

“Yeah, okay.” The angel captures Suguru gaze. “I’ll call.”

And for the first time his new mind can recall, Suguru is dismantled piece by piece. His insides turned over by the searing pain that is disappointment. Because when he watched the mercurial boy leave the shop. And make the same right turn he did yesterday — Suguru’s heart knew. 

The phone wouldn’t ring.

And the call would never come. 

“Couldn’t exactly have him walking around Shibuya, with everything—“

“I know, but Shoko we can’t…”

Satoru’s voice stalls and he hovers on frustrated feet. Less than 10 paces from facing the love of his life on a Tuesday morning like his world hasn’t been turned upside down.

“We can’t just abandon him here. Alone. Confused. I won’t—“

“What do you want me to do Satoru?” Shoko interjects. Her frustration is palpable, yes, but the point is valid. 

Satoru drags in more liters of air than he knew possible. Letting it all out like storm winds in a category 5 hurricane.

“I don’t..I don’t know but I won’t leave him like this, Shoko. I can’t.” His voice couldn’t convince a fly with how shaky it is. 

But thankfully, Shoko can read him like a children’s book. She always could.

“Let’s talk about this in person. How soon can you get here?”

“I’ll be on the next flight out.” Satoru perks up. Urgency crashing into him like rip tides. 

He eyes the dark-haired barista through the window pane. Adjusting his eyes before fully taking in the boy of his dreams. 

And nightmares. 

Suguru is vibrant. 

In a way that hurts so good you can’t help but come back for seconds. And thirds. Fourths, fifths, whatever scraps he would be willing to give you’d get on your knees and beg for. 

Satoru would. Any day. 

“Hard night?” The former sorcerer calls out. 

“Yeah, but..” Suguru looks up and Satoru relaxes into a lovesick smile. “Good morning.”

A few seconds of wonderfully familiar silence falls between the boys. Suguru flips the espresso cup into place like he was born to do anything.

Anything he touches is artisan. That hasn’t changed in this new universe they exist in. 

“You never called, Satoru.” His voice is sweeter than whipped cream. Satoru gnaws on his cheeks to keep from choking on his desire. 

“I know.”

“I would’ve come.”

“I know.” And the traitorous tears well up without his consent again.

“Okay, okay.” Suguru is hushed. As if a decibel too loud would break Satoru’s dam.

Beautiful boy. 

His dam broke the night Suguru left him on the sidewalk for righteous ideals and the people who would follow them. 

It hasn’t been repaired since. 

“Lavender latte and something sweet. Back table?” Suguru whispers the order to himself and Satoru’s heart breaks. 

“To go, actually.” 

The sudden change in routine startles Suguru still.  “Oh.” 

Satoru rolls his abused lips under his teeth. Shuffling on his feet because it would take nothing for him to stay. And play this new game of life with his soulmate like the rest of it never happened. 

He would swallow the pain of his past everyday if Suguru so much as looks at him a certain way. 

“Why are you leaving?” Suguru’s brows crawl together in a way that’s so earnest. Satoru could fall to his knees. 

“I um…I know a doctor. She’s smart. And m-maybe she can help get your memories back..” 

“A doctor?” 

Suguru probes quicker than Satoru expected. Given that his response sounded insane to even his own ears.

“Honey brown eyes and hair…” The barista speaks to his hands as if he’s reading from cue cards. 

“Satoru this is going to sound crazy.” 

Suguru’s eyes light up and Satoru falls deeper in love. Like it’s the logical next step. An obvious response. 

“But I feel…did we—did we know each other?” 

Those gorgeous, amethyst eyes unravel the heavy chains around Satoru’s heart. 

You knew each other. 

Loved each other. 

Fought for, gave to, sacrificed it all for each other. 

Satoru unravels at his battered seams. Only able to hold the facade of a lopsided smile for a few more moments. 

“It’s a long, bizarre story.” It hurts to laugh. 

“Tell me,” the barista can’t hide his excitement. 

“We..we have time now. You mentioned it the other day, Satoru.” 

This boy will be the death of him. In every lifetime he’s reborn in. 

Satoru doesn’t even try to slap away the hot salty shower lining his sleep deprived eyes. 

“An infinity.” He nods. ���So don’t…don’t forget about me, Suguru.”

The sun shines through his romantic smile. The stupid, boyish dimple cratered in his left cheek. 

“How could I?” Suguru hands over the latte and espresso in to-go cups. 

Blissfully unaware that he has already forgotten Satoru once. 

And he forgives him. He’s forgiven the special grade for much worse without question. 

And Satoru will continue to forgive him. 

The memories may be gone. 

The curtain may be closed on their first novel together. But if there’s anything Satoru has come to love it’s time. 

The Gods saw it fit to give them a little more time and Satoru would rather die than squander it. 

“You’re unforgettable, Satoru!” Suguru calls out, just as he exits the small town coffee shop. 

Yeah, well. 

Maybe in this new lifetime, he will be. 

[theonlyhonoredone]

Break My Heart Again

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x Reader

Warnings: cannon typical violence, blood, death, fighting, love triangle

Summary: A romantic rivalry drives a wedge between you and Suguru

Masterlist

On the first day of your second year at Jujutsu High you noticed an instant change in Suguru. He had been happy until Satoru arrived, the white haired boy was late as always, but came running right away to greet everyone. He’d come up to you first, wrapping you in his long arms and telling you how he’d hoped you’d finally become half as strong as him this year. While you rolled your eyes and told him you hoped he’d become less annoying, Suguru had set his eyes to a narrow glare. He’d come to you that evening and told you he didn’t like how close you and Satoru were. 

“He’s too cruel to be friends with you,” he began, “He’ll hurt your feelings and you’ll only prevent him from progressing as quickly as he could.”

The remarks were odd and hurtful. All of you were close, in fact Suguru had been your first friend at the school. Over the summer he’d been busy with familial obligations and wasn’t able to keep in contact as you, Satoru, and Shoko were. Of course you’d all grown closer over summer and you wondered if he’d become jealous or felt left behind. You tried your best to offer him some comfort, telling him that you were all still good friends and you were looking forward to catching up with him.

“It’s not about that,” he scoffed at you, “I just think you need to get over your ridiculous crush on him, and you both need to focus on sorcery.”

It was hurtful again and you chose to leave it alone after that. He was strange and aloof to you for days and at the end of the first week he requested you stop calling him Suguru and use the more formal Geto instead. You considered it the end of your friendship. You had spoken to both Shoko and Satoru about it, asking them if he’d told them about his sudden disdain for you. Satoru had gotten upset and called him a jerk before going to talk to him, despite your objections. It was then when Shoko revealed her theory on the matter.

“Suguru has a crush on Satoru,” she had told you in a hushed tone, “It’s obvious. He already knows you liked him so you know, your romantic rivals.”

Your cheeks had flushed, “Why wouldn’t you just talk to me then? I-I don’t want to not be friends just because we like the same guy.”

She shrugged in response and you left the conversation at that. You never brought it up to Suguru, hoping that it would blow over in due time. School brought a more normal rhythm to your lives. Suguru and Satoru were always training together, it made them closer and stronger. Shoko would work on her medical training and you were doing your best to meet the boys level. The gap between you three grew exponentially that year. You weren’t weak by any means, but they were on another level. You’d spar with them as frequently as you could, always pushing yourself to get stronger and stronger. 

Satoru was helpful, he tried his best to help you perfect your use of basic sorcery techniques, which in turn helped you to refine your own technique. He often taunted you still and called you weak, but you always knew it was in jest. Suguru on the other hand was more cruel. If you were set to spar he’d show no mercy, hitting you with more powerful curses or techniques far out of your grasp. In hand to hand combat he was unrelenting too, and he seemed to relish in your constant losses. You confirmed his resentment must be jealousy as he always was harder on you after you’d spent time with Satoru alone. 

After a particularly rough mission for you he’d taunted you for getting so beat up and it’d cause a fight between him and Satoru. Satoru had claimed he didn’t need to be so mean since you’d already gotten hurt. Suguru accused him of being soft on you and with pink cheeks Satoru had yelled back that he wasn’t soft on you he just cared about his friends. That had really angered Suguru, who ended up scoffing and leaving you two alone in the infirmary. Later he’d come to speak to you alone and told you that Satoru only liked you because you were dependent on him and it made him feel special. In his words Satoru cared about attention, not you, since you could never make it to their level.

For you it was the final straw, already beaten up and exhausted you’d finally snapped and yelled at him. “Shut up!” you’d cut him off mid sentence, your whole face burning as you screamed, “Just shut up okay?! I don’t care what you think Geto! I don’t care if I’m weak or pathetic or anything else because at least I’m not half as insecure as you!”

His eyes had widened before quickly turning to a glare. He had clenched his fists before leaving the room in silence. It felt good to yell back at him, but you stopped speaking entirely after that. You avoided each other and your other friends danced between the two of you. It continued like that until the spring, when the boys got assigned to some special secret mission which they’d be gone for a while working on. Suguru said nothing about it but Satoru of course had to brag about how this important mission had been entrusted to them, but especially him since he was the strongest. You’d told him you were happy for him but really you were worried.

You were scared for them both, and you were scared that you’d be left in the dust as they got assigned to harder and harder missions. That same evening you’d decided to take a walk to ease your anxiety. You paced all around the school grounds as you tried to reason with yourself. Of course you’d never grow to their strength, they were special grades after all, blessed from birth. You’d hoped to reach first grade already though, to at least be close to keeping up with them. As much as you tried not to let it get to you, you did often think about Suguru’s words, claiming you were too weak for Satoru.

You hated that some silly romantic rivalry had come between you and your friend, but you did really care about Satoru. Loved him even. He admired strength and you so badly wanted to be admired by him. Admired and loved, to have him see you in the same heavenly light you saw him. The friendship you shared was wonderful and you treasured it, but you wanted more than that. You hoped it would fade with time but really your feelings only grew stronger. Longing glances and daydreams were the only hopes you had of furthering your relationship with the man you’d consider your closest friend. 

With an unhappy pit in your stomach you finally decided to return to your room. The walk hadn’t helped much so you now hoped that sleep would wash away your unease and you’d wake up with a brighter outlook. As you entered the dorms you were shocked to find Satoru was seated in the day room, staring out the window with his head propped up on his hand. He was half asleep, droopy eyes turning to you as you entered the room.

He frowned as he spoke, “What are you doing up? It’s nearly 2.”

“I could ask you the same thing,” you cast your gaze away from him, hoping not to give up that you’d been crying just minutes earlier, “I was just on a walk, my room was getting really stuffy.”

“I couldn’t sleep,” he confessed. “Thinking about your big mission?”

He nodded as he tried to catch your flighty gaze, “You wanna come sit for a minute? Maybe you can help me get my mind off it.”

Of course you had to comply so you nodded and came to sit beside him on the couch, “I’ve never seen you nervous Satoru.”

“I’m not, just sort of ansty,” he explained with a wave of his hand. He was finally able to lock his eyes with yours and it only took him a moment to realize something was wrong, “You’re upset,” he stated it as a fact, leaving no room for you to argue, “What happened?”

“It’s not fair to use your technique on me,” you attempted to change the subject.

“I didn’t,” he’d turned to fully face you, “I don’t need to, I know how to read you without it. So what’s going on?”

“It’s nothing Satoru, don’t worry about me,” you brushed him off hoping he would just forget it, but of course he always pushed until he got his way.

“Ah, I always worry about you,” he tossed an arm over your shoulders and leaned back on the couch, “It’s my job as the strongest you know? I got to worry about the weaklings under me.”

Normally his jokes didn’t bug you and you’d jab right back at him but you were already fragile. You felt your eyes burning again and your lip started to tremble. You attempted to quickly get yourself under control but a small sniffle was enough to alert him to your state. “H-Hey! I didn’t mean to make you cry! I’m just kidding, you know?” he tried to comfort as his cheeks started turning pink.

You shook your head at him, “I-It’s not you Satoru I just…” you trailed off, “I’m tired of being weak.”

His lips tugged down to a frown as he searched for some way to comfort you. The truth was he hated to see you cry, more than anything. It made his stomach churn and filled him with anger. He’d only see you cry a few times but it was the same every time.

“You aren’t weak,” he grabbed one of your hands, “I-I mean compared to me, sure, but you’re really strong compared to most people. Plus you’re working everyday to get stronger, you don’t need to be so hard on yourself.”

“I hate that I’m weak to you!” you exclaimed suddenly as the tear grew more violent, “I don’t want you to see me as weak Satoru! That’s all I care about.”

“I-I don’t I-”

“You do! I-I want to be just as strong as you, and Suguru. I don’t want to be dependent on you! I want you to like me for more than just that…”

He tensed, the gears in his head turning before he spoke softly, “You think I only like you because you’re dependent on me?”

You sniffled again and nodded, “Yes, I mean, sometimes, no, fuck, I don’t know. I just want you to see me as an equal. I don’t want to be nobody.”

“You aren’t,” he said firmly, “If I ever don’t think we’re equal it’s because I think you’re better than me.”

You laughed bitterly, “Be serious Satoru.”

“I am! Look physically I’m stronger for sure, but you’re way nicer than me, and funnier too!” he exclaimed suddenly, “And you’re way better at claw machines! Remember you won me that big dog I wanted! I sleep with it every night!”

You laughed again, a weird sad laugh that was full of tears, “That doesn’t mean anything.”

“It means a lot to me,” he promised, “If you were a stronger sorcerer than me I’d have nothing going for me, except maybe my good looks.”

“Shut up,” the tears were beginning to melt into regular laughter at each remark.

“And I guess I’m pretty good at stopping you from crying too,” he grinned wide, “Look I get it if you’re down about not getting stronger faster, but if it helps I really don’t think of you as weak. I know you’re weaker than me, but I kind of like that because it means I can protect you, and I want to protect you, and everyone else too. It makes me really happy knowing that I can keep you safe. I mean it’s a lot of pressure sometimes but when I just think about doing all this hard stuff so you don’t have too then I’m really happy, and I don’t mind so much.”

Finally your tears had stopped, so he wiped your tear stained cheeks as you looked up at him, “I just wish I could be there with you Satoru, then I could help protect you too.”

“It wouldn’t work then though, we’d be too worried about each other,” he leaned in and pressed his lips to your forehead. It was a simple gesture, meant to be comforting and sweet. He’d never done it before though. Usually when he imagined kissing you it was on the lips, but this was nice too.

You leaned into him, burying your face in his chest, “Thank you Satoru.”

“Yeah, no problem,” he wrapped his arms around you and rested his head on top of yours. 

You sat there on the small couch, holding each other until the sun came up. At that point you both scurried off to your bedrooms to try and catch a few hours of sleep while you still could. Later Satoru had to leave for his special mission and you had to return to normal classes and training. 

While Satoru was gone he sent some photos at different locations and small updates, always assuring you all was well. You did the same, giving him updates on the antics at the school and sending him a few pictures you found funny, always wishing him good luck. You hoped he’d be back soon.

Unfortunately his arrival home was anything but pleasant. The school was attacked, the young star vessel was killed, and Satoru was nearly killed as well. Having just escaped death he ran after the assailant in what you could only describe as a temporary bout of psychosis. Luckily he had calmed somewhat by the time he got back, he was taken into medical care alongside a totally distraught Suguru. Shoko and you worried for both of them but in the coming weeks they seemed to return to semi-normal. Suguru still seemed off, but he’d ceased his constant teasing and you thanked the universe that the whole thing had bruised his ego enough to grant you some peace. The only other good thing to come from the event was Satoru’s new ability to use the reverse curse technique. He told you all excitedly about how this had greatly enhanced his abilities, making him even stronger than before. He’d moved far beyond being the strongest, he was now some god untouchable to the rest of you mere mortals. Even Suguru seemed weak next to him now.

Satoru began taking on more and more missions alone, no longer needing any sort of assistance for even the toughest of cases. It made you a bit smug, seeing Suguru left reeling in his dust the same you you had always been. Sure Suguru had stopped his teasing but you still thought he deserved to feel some of the misery and insecurity he’d inflicted on you. It helped that Satoru never seemed to have the time to comfort him either when he was around, opting instead for more fun activities that Suguru often decided to stay home from. One of Satoru’s best suggestions had been that you all go to an amusement park together, Suguru claimed he needed to rest but you and Shoko had gone. Satoru promised there would be no use of curse energy as you all attempted to best each other at carnival games and dared each other onto increasingly scary rides. It was one of the best days you could remember having, topped off by a delicious dinner on Satoru.

When you returned home you’d all split off, with you opting to take a long shower before you headed for bed. You replayed the happy memories as you readied yourself, smiling wide as you left the bathroom, only to collide with a wall of a man. Suguru stepped back without an apology, eyeing you up and down before pursing his lips.

“Have fun?” he asked.

You’d been on more friendly terms lately but you couldn’t help being constantly suspicious. Waiting for him to make the same 180 he had at the beginning of the year as soon as he was out of his slump. 

“Yeah, it was great,” you smiled brightly at him.

He looked terrible. Bags under his eyes and his hair grown out. He seemed like he hadn’t slept in weeks. You’d noticed he seemed to slump over now, not glare down at you the way he had for months.

“I ran into Yuki today,” he began, “The special grade.”

Your eyes widened just a bit. No one ever heard from her as far as you were aware.

“Wow, that’s like spotting bigfoot or something,” you tried to joke, “Did you get to talk?”

He nodded, “Yeah, we talked for a while, it was nice. It made me think a lot.”

You studied him, tempted to make some snide remark, “Good, you’ve seemed down. Hopefully it brought you some peace.”

“It did, I feel a lot better. I’m glad I ran into you actually, I have to leave for a mission tonight. I wanted to tell you I don’t think we’re enemies anymore,” he leaned on the wall beside him, “So I forgive you.”

Something twisted in your stomach and you narrowed your eyes at him, “You forgive me? What the hell would I need to be forgiven for? You’re the one who’s been a dick to me all year.”

“I’m forgiving you for being my enemy.”

“I was only your enemy because you decided I was! I never wanted to have some stupid rivalry with you!” you snapped at him, “You should be asking me for forgiveness if anything!”

“I don’t need it,” he waved his hand dismissively, “I just realized there’s things I care more about than our romantic rivalry. Satoru would never make a choice anyway, so it’s always been up to us to make that choice.”

“He would choose me,” you weren’t sure about it at all, but you wanted so badly to hurt him, to have the power over him just this once, “I would win, Suguru.”

He grabbed your chin between his thumb and index finger. The gesture was intimate and startling. “You sound so confident but you’re trembling you know? It’s a shame things went so bad between us.”

Before you could snap back that it was his fault his lips were pressed against yours. The shocked sound you made was muffled by his lips pressing hard against yours. Something about it was all sour and wrong. You shoved him off of you as soon as your mind processed what was happening. He smirked at you and slapped him as hard as you could, leaving a big red splotch on his pale cheek. He started to laugh.

“Fuck you!” you yelled at him, “What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

“Can you two keep it down?” Satoru sighed as he peaked out of his bedroom door, his arms crossed like a disappointed parent, “I’m trying to catch up on my manga. I thought you two were done with all the fighting anyway.”

“He kissed me!” you yelled as the taller man smirked at both of you.

Satoru’s eyes widened, glowing a bright blue in the nearly pitch black hall, “He what?”

“It was a friendly peck,” Suguru just kept smirking, like he’d finally won the battle between you two.

“It was not! I would never, ever in a million years want to kiss you!”

“What the fuck Suguru!” Satoru had shoved him a few paces back from you, acting as a wall between you, “You can’t-” he paused as he examined his best friend's face, “You can’t kiss people without their permission!”

Suguru shrugged, “I thought she wanted to. My mistake, we can talk about it when I get back from my mission.”

He had spun on his heels and made a quick return to his room. Satoru muttered, “What the fuck?” before turning back to you, “Are you alright?”

You nodded, “Yeah, he’s just being a jackass, nothing new.”

“I’ll talk to him,” he promised, “I’m sorry.”

You shook your head, “You don’t need to apologize for him Satoru. I’m fine really, he’s just picking on me again. Don’t worry about it.”

“Well I don’t like it when he does that,” Satoru frowned at you and offered you his hand, “Here, I can walk you back to yours if you want, I’m sorry that happened.”

“I’m okay,” you took his hand, so big it nearly engulfed yours entirely, “Thank you Satoru.”

“Yeah, anything for you.”

Suguru had left sometime in the middle of the night. It was the middle of the day before you found out exactly where he had gone. Run off to slaughter his entire home town. Sure he was a jerk to you, but you’d never imagine he would be capable of something like that. It made you feel sick, knowing you’d been beside someone so evil for so long. Knowing he’d kissed you just before he.

You felt even worse for Satoru, who would most likely end up having to be the one to kill him. There weren't a lot of people strong enough to do the job. Satoru had cried on the school steps after he found out. You did your best to provide comfort and let him sob into your neck. You both talked for hours about how you couldn't imagine him doing something like this, about how upset you were for not following him after his odd behavior the night before. It felt suddenly like you were responsible for not stopping him, even though no one ever would have guessed he was capable of what he did. 

The next week passed in silence. No one wanted to discuss what happened. You all buried yourselves in training, attempting to push down your emotions around the event. Satoru and you had begun sharing a bed. You had nightmares about that night that made it hard to sleep. Satoru wasn’t sleeping at all, but he’d let you lay on his chest and hold you while he did. He stayed up most nights just thinking and replaying events over and over in his mind. He found holding you brought him a lot of peace. He could run through all the ‘what if's' of that night, questioning if Suguru would have hurt you if he hadn’t heard you two fighting, but that didn’t change the fact that you were right there in his arms. You were safe as long as he was holding you. He’d lost half his soul already and he couldn’t bear to lose the other. 

It was exactly one week after Suguru’s attack that Yaga had approached Satoru for a mission. Satoru may have been grieving but he was still the strongest, there were still things only he could take care of. So he was sent out to the outskirts of Tokyo to get back to work. He was a bit worried about leaving the school, worried Suguru might be planning to attack it next. Yaga had assured him the school was perfectly safe against him. You had encouraged him to take the mission as well, thinking that getting back to work might help him blow off some steam and ease his anger. 

Satoru had still seemed a bit antsy when he left so you wanted to do something nice for him. You’d gone to the city, not far from the school, to retrieve some baked goods from a favorite shop of his. It was a quick errand you thought nothing of until you spotted a familiar head of black hair outside the shop. Your eyes widened and you debated who to call but before you could even reach for your phone he was waving to you.

He cocked his head and smiled at you the same way he had when you first met, “Hey!” He seemed more friendly and happy than he had all year, “You don’t have to look so scared, I don’t bite sorcerers you know?”

“What are you doing here?” you questioned.

“Satoru’s favorite, right?” he nodded towards the shop, “Picking something up?”

“What are you doing here?” you repeated.

“I wanted to talk,” he shoved his hands into the pockets of his baggy sweats, “Can you take a few minutes for an old friend?”

Satoru had taken care of his mission rather quickly. You had been right, it helped alleviate some of his stress, but it quickly returned as soon as he checked his phone.

‘Let’s meet up. That bakery with the giant cakes? See you soon - S.G’

It wasn’t an alarming text per say, but the fact that Suguru was showing face again was. Satoru was sure he knew he had a death sentence, and sure he knew Satoru was supposed to take him out. He was also sure Suguru wouldn’t put himself in danger without a plan. Probably why he wanted to meet among civilians. Fearing another slaughter fest Satoru opted not to contact anyone else and rush right to the scene. He picked up on Suguru’s curse energy as soon as he got close, but more alarming than that he detected your energy as well. Satoru assumed he was going to attempt to take you hostage, probably having sent you a similar text to lure you out.

“Satoru! Yo!” Suguru waved to him as soon as he turned the corner to the bakery.

The whole street was empty. Suguru’s body was splattered with blood. He sat smiling and waving with a knife in one hand. A cursed tool Satoru recognized instantly. 

“Suguru what the he-” before he could finish he spotted you. 

You laid limp on the ground under Suguru, your eyes were still open but there was nothing behind them. Your lips were starting to tint purple, your whole body was totally limp. Suguru sat on top of you, it was obvious what had happened, what he had done. Satoru was in shock, only able to stare as his mind reeled.

“I don’t want to hurt sorcerers,” Suguru wiped his hands on his sweats as he stood, “But there’s always exceptions right? One day you’ll probably thank me for how much stronger this makes you.”

He knew he should attack Suguru, that he should stop him and kill him right there. He wanted to, it was the first moment he could actually picture himself murdering his best friend. Instead he paced towards you, quite slowly, as if he might startle you.. He bent down beside Suguru and placed his hand on your neck, looking for a pulse. There was nothing though, you were cold and covered in your own blood. Satoru felt nauseous, his ears were ringing, his eyes were burning. He felt as if there was nothing else in the world but you for a moment. He imagined some way to heal you even though you were gone. Killed by a cursed tool to make sure there was no way to come back. Suguru had taken every precaution.

“I’ll kill you,” he muttered softly, “I’ll kill you, Suguru.”

Suguru was gone already, fleeing before Satoru could get his bearings. Instead of chasing him, Satoru laid down beside you. He pulled you onto his chest and wrapped his arms around you. He squeezed you tight and wept silently until you were dragged away from him.

part 2

[libraryofolive]

𝓛𝓸𝓼𝓽 𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮

Featuring: Nanami Kento x fem!reader Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort, gets fluffy towards the end Word count: 6.6k Like this? You can find my smaus here and my drabbles and other fics here! Do you also have a request? You can find my rules for requesting here! Synopsis: Nanami Kento left sorcery - and you, his best friend - behind two years ago. So what happens when you, still pissed off at him, get assigned a mission together?

"No. I'm not working with him. I refuse." You seethed at Yaga, blatantly ignoring the man stood next to you in his beige suit and blue shirt, his reflective glasses blocking his eyes from your view - not that you would grace him with eye contact in the first place.

"You don't get a choice. The two of you were specifically chosen for this mission. I know you have some... history... but the fact is, you were a good team. The two of you worked well together. You need to do the same now."

"Absolutely not. I will do it alone if I have to."

"Not possible. It's too dangerous for one sorc-"

"Then make Gojo do it." You snapped. You looked Kento Nanami, who had been eerily silent through both Yaga's briefing and the argument that followed it, up and down, a frown etched into your face.

"Gojo is currently overseas. You two are to exorcise these curses together. End of discussion." At Yaga's words, you stormed out of his office. Deep down, you knew that you were being childish, throwing a tantrum that reeked of immaturity and unprofessionalism. You were considering leaning into your rage filled, angsty teenage state of mind and punching a wall when Nanami emerged from the office.

"I'm not talking to you." You spat at him, voice laced with venom.

"That's fine. But I expect you to be at least professional whilst we share this mission." He folded his arms across his chest, one eyebrow raised at you.

"Fuck off." The audacity of this man, acting superior to you when you were the more experienced sorcerer in this situation, considering he had been off playing corporate scumbag the past two years.

"I thought you weren't talking to me."

You raised your middle finger at him, turning around and walking away. Who the fuck did he think he is? Who gave him the right to act like that towards you?

This mission was going to be hell.

-

When you first started your education at Jujutsu Tech, Kento Nanami... intimidated you. Being a third of your first year class, he seemed the brooding type, the only emotion you ever really saw on his face being irritation. He was the opposite of your other classmate, Haibara, who was all sunshine and smiles. Where you and Haibara got on well enough, you opted more to avoid Nanami like the plague, at least, initially.

As the three of you started to fight curses together, you learnt to trust your classmates. You knew that they would always have your back in the dangerous scrapes you were often plunged into, even if you were unsure if you could really call them your friends. You felt like an outsider when the three of you were together - Haibara and Nanami's friendship blossomed quickly, but you felt like your connection to the boys was lagging behind.

"Boys are idiots, I would know." Shoko had once said between puffs of her cigarette when you asked for her advice about the situation. Due to the small number of girls attending Jujutsu High the two of you had bonded over the shared trauma of always being outnumbered, and you felt the closest to her out of all of your fellow students. "I wouldn't worry about it," she continued, "I was the same with Gojo and Geto. You'll click eventually."

"That doesn't fill me with much confidence." You frowned, "I'm not sure that it'll ever happen. I mean, I trust them with my life-"

"You have to do that-"

"and I respect them heaps. They're talented sorcerers, and they're both so brave. I don't think I've seen either of them break a sweat on our missions. But apart from sorcery, I don't know if we have anything in common."

"You worry too much." Shoko poked your nose condescendingly, smiling to show she was kidding around. Still, your brow furrowed, another protest on the tip of your tongue. "Seriously. You've only actually known them a short while. Give it some time. Not everyone becomes friends straight away."

"I guess you're right.." You sighed, conceding.

"I always am. It'd be a good idea to learn that." Your friend winked at you, making you roll your eyes at her antics.

But, she was right, eventually. Haibara had - unbeknownst to you - overheard your conversation, and resolved to try harder to befriend you properly.

"C'mon, Nanami, she seemed sad!" He exclaimed as he told your other classmate about what he had overheard.

"I'm not like you, Haibara. I'm not great at this making friends stuff."

"Well, you made me your friend. What's one more?"

"You are the reason we're friends. Your unrelenting pleasantness eventually wore me down."

"Oh please. You're funny, smart, and a great sorcerer. That's friendship material right there."

"If you say so."

"I'm not saying you have to be her best friend in the whole universe. Let's just try and include her a bit more, okay? Actually respond to her when she asks you a question rather than just grunting in her general direction." Nanami grunted in response to Haibara, making him laugh.

"See? Funny!"

-

The car ride to the abandoned hospital where the two first grade curses you were to exorcise were hidden was so tense, Ijichi thought he could cut that tension with a knife. He gulped, pulling at his collar, the sound filling the eerie silence of the car.

"So, er, it's been a while since you two saw each other, hasn't it? Isn't it nice to know the other is well." He said, attempting to fill a void made of awkward silence and angry looks.

"So nice." You replied sarcastically, rolling your eyes. You knew that you would have to apologise to Ijichi after this trip - it wasn't fair for him to get caught in the crossfire that was your tattered friendship with the man sitting next to you. Nanami knew this too, and felt it necessary to scold you.

"Your problem is with me, not him. Please don't project your hatred of me onto an innocent bystander." Still refusing to talk to him, you simply flicked his face.

"How mature."

You leant over to flick him again, but Ijichi spoke once again. "What lovely weather we're having!" In an attempt to stop a brawl breaking out in the back of his car, Ijichi had said the first thing that had come to his mind, paying no mind to the actual weather, which was pouring down with rain.

"Yes, quite pleasant." Nanami hummed in agreement, but sceptically eyeing the outside world from the pleasant heat of the car.

"Oh shut up." Your eyes narrowed at him, words icy cold.

"Are we talking again now?" He raised a brow at you, that smug expression from outside of Yaga's office back on his disgustingly handsome face.

Your ensuing flick to his cheek caused his expression of smugness to turn into one of irritation.

-

After your conversation with Shoko, you had noticed a shift in your dynamic with your classmates. Haibara had started asking you more questions directly, purposefully bringing you into the conversations between him and Nanami. He also sought to spend time with you out of class, one on one, and soon a real friendship clicked into place just like Shoko said it would. I guess she was right, you thought, not that I'd ever admit that.

Soon, group movie nights became a tradition. You would sneak into their section of the dorms every Friday, the three of you taking turns to choose what film would be that night's entertainment. You had begun to appreciate the stupid action/comedy films Haibara favoured, whilst you forced the two to watch childhood classics they had never seen.

"I am not watching another Barbie film." Nanami used to sulk.

"Well, it's my turn to choose, and this is what I have chosen."

"Yeah, Nanami, the rules of movie night dictate that we have to watch whatever the person in charge of picking chooses. That means if someone choses a Barbie film, we have to watch it."

"We have watched five already. Please, choose a different film." He aimed the last half of his words at you.

"Nah, I don't think I will. And I know you secretly enjoyed the last one."

"I did not!"

"You most certainly did! I saw you smile at the happy ending!" Haibara joined in your teasing of the blonde.

"I was only smiling because it was over."

"Excuses, excuses." You dismissed his rebuttal, grinning as you pressed play on the film.

Your relationships with the two developed quickly as these group hang outs became more and more frequent. However, there was always more distance between you and Nanami than you and Haibara. Until one week, when Haibara fell ill, messaging you to let you know:

Too ill for movie night :( What? Noooooo! Reschedule? Don't be silly. You and Nanami have one without me!

You paused at his suggestion. Sure, you and Nanami had hung out outside of class together. But never just the two of you, and always instigated by Haibara. Would it be awkward? You were just watching a movie, you reasoned, so it would be acceptable to just sit next to each other in silence. Outside of your better judgement, you found yourself once again sneaking into the boys' dorms.

"What are you doing here?" Nanami questioned when he saw you.

"Movie night, duh. What are we watching? It's your turn to choose."

"But Haibara isn't well."

"He told me to just do it without him... unless you don't want to? I can just head back to my-"

"NO! Er, no, it's fine. We'll watch something. I haven't thought about what to watch, so let me go raid my DVDs." He blushed at his slight outburst, and the thought of spending time, alone, with you. It was hard enough to not embarrass himself in front of you when Haibara was around to distract you, but alone? Sat right next to you?

"Okay, cool. I brought popcorn." You grinned at him, holding up the bright bag of the sweet food.

"Oh, thanks..." He trailed off, staring intently at the bag you held in your hands.

"The movie, Nanami?" You asked.

"Oh, yeah. One sec." He wandered into his room, silently cursing himself from being such an idiot. He emerged with two DVDs in hand.

"These are the only two decent ones I've got. What do you think?" He handed them to you, letting you look over the synopsis of each one. They were artsy ones, and you were pretty sure one of them was French.

"Are these yours?" You asked curiously, looking them up and down.

"Well, yeah. Why else would I have them?" He replied as he tried to plug his DVD player into the TV.

"They're just so... different from what you usually pick."

"Oh, I just pick those stupid action ones because I know Haibara likes them, and you like to make fun of him for liking them. It keeps you both happy, even if I don't find them particularly pleasing."

"Jeez, Nanami, you're making me feel bad for forcing you to sit through all of my Barbie films."

"Those aren't... atrocious. I have unfortunately found myself singing some of the songs as I go about my day."

"I knew you secretly enjoyed them! No one can resist the allure of Bibble."

"Never say that sentence ever again. And don't repeat what I said, either. Now have you chosen which film you would prefer?"

"It's your turn to choose, Nanami. Put whichever one you prefer on." You hand him the two DVD cases before making yourself comfortable on the couch of the communal dorm area, wrapping yourself in the blanket you had brought from your own dormitory.

"Or whichever one you can comment on the least."

"Oh please, you enjoy my running commentary on the movies we watch."

"In your dreams." He slotted one of the DVDs in the player, pressed play and joined you on the couch, sitting as far away from you as he possibly could.

"God, Nanami, I don't bite. You can sit a bit closer to me." He shuffled along a little bit, and you decided to make yourself even more comfortable by putting your feet onto his lap.

"What do you think you're doing?" He asked, cocking his eyebrow - an expression that never seemed to leave his face around you.

"Getting comfy." You grinned at him before turning your attention to the TV, missing the pink tinge to his cheeks.

-

"We should split up." Nanami's baritone voice rang out through the halls of the abandoned hospital. It wasn't silent - the rain falling through the large hole in the ceilings and roof prevented noiselessness.

"I'm happy to do that if it means I can get on with this away from you."

"That is what 'split up' means."

"Who do you think you are, Fred from Scooby-Doo?" You glared at him. The downpour you had gotten caught in had flattened his styled hair into a look that somewhat resembled his signature cut back in high school. He still looked stupidly good, you thought, but you had always found him attractive.

"Can you stop with the theatrics? I don't want to be here just as much as you."

"I'll take the higher floors. You stay here." You stormed off, something you always seem to be doing around him nowadays. Nanami sighed. He didn't know what he expected when he returned to sorcery and saw you again, but it certainly wasn't this much hostility. Had you harboured this towards him the entire time he wasn't around?

"Be careful." He called after you, still wishing you safety despite how little you currently cared for him. Your only acknowledgement of his words was another middle finger hurled at him from over your shoulder. He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose in annoyance. Between you and the two first grade spirits running around this place, it was going to be a long day.

-

After that movie night, you found yourself actually considering Nanami Kento your friend. Once Haibara recovered from his cold, he was slightly confused about the new closeness between his two friends, but he was as happy as you were that the three of you had bonded. He was also confused as to why you kept on bringing up a 'Bibble' around your shared friend, but he laughed along with you every time you did.

Eventually, there came a time where the two of you were practically joined at the hip. Nanami was thrilled with your newfound friendship, knowing that without Haibara’s pushing - and an illness that Nanami was convinced wasn’t as bad as Hairbara had told you both it was - he knew he would have never had the nerve to speak to you, nevermind be your friend. But part of him knew that he would never be satisfied being just your friend. You were the first thing he thought about when he woke up, and the last thing before he slept. He found himself being reminded of you in everything he did - the stars were the twinkle in your eye when you were talking about one of your passions. The sun’s rays were the warmth of your smile, something that could bring light into even the darkest of days.

Nanami found himself sat across from you at a restaurant. To onlookers, it would probably look like a date, two young people sharing each other’s company for a pleasant evening. Haibara, who usually accompanied the two of you on outings like this, had been sent to exorcise a curse in a different city and wouldn’t be back until the next day. As much as Nanami missed his friend, he was glad to have some alone time with you, even if it wasn’t the romantic date he wished it was.

“Okay, I need to know,” you said between mouthfuls of your food, “why the hell does Gojo call you Nanamin?”

“To wind me up, no doubt. He knows how much I hate it.”

“You hate it? But it’s so cute! I think it fits you nicely.” He raised an eyebrow at you, as if to ask if you were being serious. It made you giggle.

“I’m just playing. But I do like it. Maybe I’ll start using it.”

“Please don’t.” Nanami cringed at the thought of you and Gojo sharing the same nickname for him.

“You’re no fun.” You pouted slightly, and God did he want to kiss your pout away. His face warmed at the thought, before mentally scolding himself for thinking inappropriately. “So what can I call you?” You continued.

“Kento. Please, just call me Kento.”

“Your first name? Wow, we must really be friends,” you grinned at him, “Kento.” Yeah, Kento thought, he could get used to you calling him by his first name.

-

Haibara was an observant person, and he easily picked up on the slight shift your friendship with Nanami was making every day. The shyness that sometimes made itself apparent, the red tinges to your cheeks every time you stood a little too close together. Your teasing towards Nanami dialled up a notch, and he was often found stumbling over his words in an attempt to respond. Gone was the reserved, nonchalant persona that intimidated you when you first met him, and it was slowly being replaced by a crushing schoolboy.

Not that you noticed, or were faring any better. Shoko was frequently on the receiving end of your lovesick rambles.

"And when he raises the one eyebrow at me? All cocky and teasing after I say something stupid, God, Shoko, I just want to melt."

"Can we go back to you ranting about how you couldn't make friends with him? Somehow I think I prefer that." She nudged you with her elbow, grinning.

"Oh shut up! You have to hear about my love life because you don't have one to tell me about."

"Well fuck you too!" The both of you laughed, these joking barbs a key factor of your friendship. "I am happy for you. For finally managing to force them into being your friend and for liking one of them enough to actually have a crush on them."

"You're happy that I have an all-consuming crush on a guy that definitely doesn't like me back? Some friend you are."

"It keeps my life interesting, what can I say?" She pulled a packet of cigarettes out of her pocket, taking one out and putting it to her lips. "But he definitely likes you back." She said as she fished around in her pockets for a lighter.

"You're just saying that to make me feel better." You replied as you took a lighter out of your own pocket and lit her cigarette for her.

"Since when do you carry a lighter?"

"Since you can never find yours."

"I knew we were friends for a reason." She puffed on her cigarette, leaning onto to stair behind her on the outdoor staircase you were currently sat on. "Seriously though. I've seen you guys interact. He's into you. You should ask him out."

"Maybe."

"You're pathetic. It's never gonna happen if you don't do anything about it." She blew her cigarette smoke into your face, making you cough slightly.

"I thought the guy was supposed to do the asking."

"Have you met the guys? They're all too much of a wimp to do any asking. It's up to us girls, as always."

-

Nanami had found one of the cursed spirits on the first floor of the abandoned building, and exorcised it without much effort. This, however, didn't put him at ease. If that curse was easy to defeat, yet this mission was dangerous enough to warrant sending the both of you on it, what did the other curse have in store? Or had the higher ups just over-estimated how dangerous the curse was? Sure, the one he had exorcised looked even more menacing than your average curse, but there was not much substance to back up those looks.

He paused, trying to pull a logical plan together. Should he go and find you? Now that one curse had been exorcised, there should only be one left in the building, so it could be beneficial for the two of you to reconvene and tackle it together, although finding it could take much longer. There was also the fact that you were so adamant in being stubborn and not talking to him, unless it was to chew him out for whatever reason you thought appropriate. If you refused to work with him, then it would make more sense for you two to stay apart and cover more ground. He hated that he couldn't read you as well as he used to, and that he couldn't fully rely on your trust anymore. Although, did he really deserve your trust? Your unwavering belief in your abilities as a team, something you had even before your friendship at high school? He left Jujutsu to become yet another cog in the corporate machine, only to return with his tail between his legs two years later.

He resolved to hunt you down and explain the situation, and base the rest of his strategy on your reaction. Surely, if you understood what you could be dealing with, you would put your vitriol aside for the sake of survival. Wouldn't you?

-

You had taken Shoko's words to heart, and planned to tell Nanami about your feelings for him. Even if he didn't reciprocate them, you could have some closure and move on from this silly crush. Right?

You spent a few weeks mulling over how to do it and what to say. You wanted to do it right, to do it perfectly, as if your gesture could cosmically alter his feelings towards you and make him like you back. When he and Haibara were away on a mission together, you planned it all out with the help of Shoko, who was impressed that you were actually acting on your feelings. You would greet the two when they arrived back, before asking Nanami for a private word and quietly confessing when you were both alone.

You didn't expect Haibara to arrive back in a body bag.

When Nanami - Kento - told you what had happened, you fell to your knees, your body wracked with sobs. Any previous fixations on romance left your body and gave way to an aching grief, mourning over your friend. The dynamic of your class had once again shifted, but this time, a gaping hole was left. It felt as if Haibara had taken all of the warmth and sun to the afterlife with him, his happy disposition being sorely missed in a room full of loss and sadness.

All of a sudden, it was just you and Kento. The two of you became inseparable, your grief slowly bringing the two of you even further together. It felt as though he was the only one who could understand you, that understood what you were going through as you powered on with your Jujutsu education, saving as many as you could. You wanted to act on your feelings for him, like you had once resolved to, but neither of you could escape the reality of the danger of your profession - what was once a looming warning, one of the infinite possibilities of the future, now became one of the two paths you could walk: live or die.

-

Nanami climbed the sole staircase that remained intact slowly, staying aware of his surroundings in case the remaining curse decided to ambush him on his climb. His caution was thrown to the wind, however, when he heard a scream that he just knew was yours.

He barrelled at full speed towards where the scream came from, stopping only when he saw the large curse standing over your body, your leg bent at an unnatural angle, with its back to him.

"Oh fuck..." He mumbled, barely audible.

"NANAMI!" You shouted, panic evident on your face - you hadn't noticed him yet. "Nanami!" Your shout was quieter the second time, closer to a sob than a scream. As much as it killed him to see you in pain, to see you desperately calling for him, he stayed silent, the curse between the two of you distracted by you. I'm sorry, he thought, mentally apologising to you for using you as a pawn in his plan to exorcise this curse, but I'm here, and I won't let you die.

-

"He's gone." Satoru Gojo said simply as you walked back onto the grounds of Jujutsu Tech in a search for Shoko to patch up the wounds from the mission you're returning from.

"Wow, hello to you too, Gojo. Yeah, the mission went well, thanks for asking. A couple of scrapes, but I'm not too banged up." You rolled your eyes at Gojo's lack of greeting.

"Nanami. He's gone." It was as if your heart stopped.

"Gone? What do you mean he's gone? Dead?" You asked quietly, tears filling your eyes, fearing the worst.

"No, not dead." A sigh of relief, "but he's left Jujutsu. He's gone to be a salaryman at some fancy company."

"Yeah, funny joke, Gojo. Where is he actually?" You asked, rolling your eyes at his antics.

"No, he's actually left." His tone lacked the playfulness that normally always underlies it - he was being deadly serious.

"What?" You asked, confusion written all over your face/

"I'm sorry, he said he wanted nothing to do with sorcery anymore." You picked up what Gojo was implying - he wants nothing to do with me.

"That bastard." You mumbled.

"What was that?"

"That bastard." You spat, "how dare he. How dare he. He leaves, wanting nothing to do with us - with me - and doesn't have the balls to tell me himself? I have to hear it from you?"

"Woah, you're mad at Nanamin, not me!"

"Do not mention him in front of me again. If he wants nothing to do with me, that's fine. I want nothing to do with him, the coward."

-

All you could feel was fiery hot pain, sprawled on the floor, unable to even stand up, never mind run away from the curse in front of you. "Nanami! Help, please!" You screamed again and again, hoping your colleague might hear you.

"It's too dangerous for one sorcerer to go alone." Yaga's words rung through your ears. You mentally scolded yourself - why had you let your anger at Nanami cloud your judgement during an evidently dangerous mission? You had agreed to split up because you just wanted to get on with it, to get away from him, and get home as soon as you could. Why didn't you stop to just think? To strategize before running head first into a fight? This is how sorcerers die, you thought, this is how I die. Why did I never listen to Shoko as she explained reverse curse technique?

You tried to get away from the curse, using your arms to pull you across the floor, wincing every time your injured leg scraped across the floor, rubble digging into it. Eventually, your arms gave up, and you were ebbing in and out of consciousness. You stopped trying to move, curling your body into a small ball in an attempt to shrink away from the curse's line of sight. You let out a small, "Kento, please.." - a whimper more than any real form of speech - before passing out completely.

Nanami had heard every one of your cries as he fought the curse. You never once realised he was there - he put that up to a delirium that must have been brought on by the pain you had felt. This curse had at least ten times the power of the previous one he had thought, and fighting it without you was a challenge. After revealing his technique to increase its power, he eventually managed to get the upper hand - he managed to outwit it, trapping it under some rubble and exorcising it accordingly. He had no time to revel in his victory, though, as as soon as it started disappearing he was rushing to your side.

There's a pulse, thank God. Her leg is undoubtedly broken, probably in more places than one. She seems to have hurt her head too, but I can't tell if she has a concussion whilst she's unconscious. This is my fault - why did I suggest we split up? Yaga told us this was dangerous. I should've considered this outcome.

He called Ijichi, letting him know that both curses had been exorcised and that you had been badly injured, so he was to come and collect you both as soon as possible and take you straight to Ieri. Nanami gently put one arm underneath your neck, the other under your knees, being careful as to not grip the broken leg.

"I'm sorry." He whispered to your unconscious form, lifting you off the ground. You breathed in sharply, but didn't wake - at least you were somewhat responsive. He carried you down the stairs to the ground floor of the abandoned building as quickly as he could without jostling you too much, and placing you gently in the back of Ijichi's car. He got in after you, placing your head on his lap as you laid across the back seat. "Why did I let this happen to you?" He mumbled, moving a bloodied lock of your hair from your face.

"What was that? Did you say something, Nanami?" Ijichi asked, looking at him through the rear-view mirror.

"No. How long until we get back to the school?"

"About half an hour."

"Drive faster." His tone had no room for arguing, and Ijichi found himself starting to ignore the speed limits of the roads back to Jujutsu High.

-

You woke up in the white, sterile room that could only be the Infirmary at Jujutsu Tech.

"Good, you're awake. You scared us." Shoko said, standing over you.

"I make your life more interesting, what can I say?"

"Wow, you've been out for hours and you start cracking jokes. At least I know that head wound didn't do too much damage."

"Head wound?"

"You broke your left femur and fibula, and we think you hit your head on the way down."

"Is Nanami okay?"

"Why don't you ask him?"

"I'm not talking to him."

"He has been sat here since we arrived back." Another voice from across the room butt into your conversation with Shoko. You turned your head, and sure enough Nanami was sat there, the first few buttons of his shirt undone, having taken off his tie and suit jacket. His hair was now dry, but he hadn't restyled it, so it was still flat to his head. You couldn't see any injuries on him.

"I'm still not talking to you."

"Really? After I saved your life? After you were calling out to me to come and save you? You were certainly talking to me then."

"Fuck you."

"Nanami, leave." Shoko interrupted. "I'm not having her work herself up and undoing all my hard work." He sighed, but gave in and left the room. Your friend turned your attention back to you, "I've healed your injuries, but take it easy. Your leg is going to take some physio to get it back to where it was."

"So... I can go?"

"You want to get away from me so quickly? I'm hurt. But yeah, you can go. Although you need to take it easy for a week or so, alright? You were pretty banged up when Nanami brought you in."

"He brought me in?"

"Carried you in here himself. Refused to let anyone but me touch you."

"Oh."

"I didn't know he was back, did you?" She asked, eyeing you sceptically.

"Not until we got assigned this mission together."

"He's still into you, y'know."

"Fuck off, Sho."

"I'm being serious, I promise. You didn't see how worried he was when he arrived with you unconscious."

"I don't care. I hate him."

"You keep saying that, but I don't believe you. Never have. I know how much you cared about him. That doesn't go away overnight."

"It wasn't overnight, Sho. He was gone for two years." She hummed, but you know she wasn't agreeing with you. "I thought you were leaving?" she changed the subject.

"I am. I'll see you later." You hopped off your bed, stumbling a bit as you stood.

"I had better not see you in that state again any time soon!" Shoko called after you as you walked out of the infirmary.

"I'm a big girl, I can look after myself!" You called back, smiling slightly.

"How are you feeling?" At the sound of Nanami's voice, your small smile dropped.

"Have you been loitering outside of the Infirmary? Creep."

"I was waiting for you, because I was worried about you. That's not creepy, that's being a decent person."

"Fuck off. You know I'm not talking to you."

"So you keep saying. But why? Why won't you talk to me? Engage in a normal conversation like an adult?"

"Why? Are you actually asking me why I'm mad at you? You prick." You looked at him, gobsmacked. He didn't remember what happened? Or perhaps he remembered but didn't see the problem with it. The thought made your anger burn brighter.

“It has been two years since we last saw each other.”

“Oh I am well aware of how long it has been, Nanami.” You scoffed. He remained collected, and that just made you even more mad. Did he not care? The two of you had been so close before he left. Was he fine with throwing all of that away, with you spending the rest of your life despising him?

“Then why are you lording something I did - that I can’t even remember - over my head to the point that you will only speak to me if it is throwing obscenities my way?”

“It is not something you did.” You weren’t shouting anymore. Instead, your voice was quiet, but not calm. Pure fury coated every word, and you were practically spitting them out, “It was something you didn’t do.” You saw regret flash in Nanami’s face, and knew that he had finally figured out why you had been angry at him for so long.

“You left,” you carried on, “you left me here. Alone. And you know who I found out from? Satoru fucking Gojo. So not only did you leave, you left without telling me. WIthout talking to me about that decision. You were my best friend, I was in love with you, for fuck’s sake, and you left without having the balls to say goodbye. So yeah, I’m pissed. You knew what you were doing, and you still took the coward’s way out. Then you swan in here, in your fancy suit and your new hair acting like everything is hunky-fucking-dory. Well, it’s not.” Your voice cracked, anger dissipating into the sadness you never let yourself feel. “I have spent the past two years hating you, because it was easier than acknowledging how much I missed you. I was - am - so lonely and it was all your fault. Because you left. You left and you didn’t even tell me you were considering leaving. It was supposed to be us against the world. We were best friends, yet you didn’t care enough to say goodbye.” You turned on your heel, ready to walk away. You didn’t want him to see the tears threatening to fall down your cheeks, to see the broken heart he left you with written all over your face. You didn’t make it far though, because he grabbed your wrist.

He grabbed your wrist, spinning you around as he pulled you into his arms and kissed you. His lips were soft and warm, a stark contrast from his cold, reserved demeanour he had always worn. You melted into his embrace, and it felt so right, you were kissing Kento Nanami. You were kissing Kento Nanami - no. This was wrong. This was all wrong. You went rigid in his embrace, pulling away, shaking your head, tears running down your face.

“No. No. You don’t get to do this.” You took a few steps away from him, shaking your head vigorously. “You don’t get to kiss me and act like it solves everything. One kiss does not erase the hurt that I felt - that you caused. No. Get away from me.”

“Wait, please. Let me- let me explain myself. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. But please, listen to me. You can go on hating me afterwards, but I won’t ever be able to look at you again if I don’t explain.” You didn’t say anything, but didn’t walk away, either. He took it as a cue for him to continue.

“I hated Jujutsu society. I had to get away, to live outside of it for a while, but that was worse. Because you weren’t there. The only thing I had to think about was money, it was a miserable existence, so I came back. I didn’t know what I expected when I returned. But you were here, and even if you refused to speak to me, knowing that you were okay, that you were well and healthy, made my life infinitely better.”

“I don’t care that you left. I knew you hated it here. I care that you didn’t talk to me. You didn’t tell me that you wanted to leave, or even that you were leaving. It’s that you wanted nothing to do with me, so much so that you didn’t even have the common decency to say goodbye.”

“I couldn’t say goodbye to you,” you could hear the emotion in his voice, the vulnerability, “because I knew that if I did, I would have asked you to come with me. And I couldn’t do that to you.”

“If you had asked, I would have gone.”

“I know. But you thrive here, and I couldn’t drag you away from it and into a miserable life outside of sorcery.”

“I wouldn’t have been miserable. I would’ve had you.”

“You can have me now, if that’s what you want. I love you. I always have. I loved you before we were even friends, I was just too scared to even talk to you. Please, I love you. And I always will, even if you spend the rest of my life hating me.”

“No, you don’t. You can’t love me. Because you don’t know me. You love the person I was, the person you knew, and the person you think I am. We haven’t seen or even spoken to each other in two years, Nanami. We’ve grown up. We’ve changed. Neither of us are the person the other one thinks we are.”

“Then let me get to know you, please. We can start slow. Let me take you to dinner. We can start it like you would any other relationship. But I need to have you in my life.”

“Nanami, I-”

“Kento, please. You calling me by my last name isn’t right.”

“Kento, I don’t know. It’s so complicated, it will be so messy-”

“You are worth it, though. You loved me once - do you think you will be able to love me again?”

“I don’t know.” There was a beat of silence, “But I’m willing to try.” A smile lit up his face, one that reminded you of the days of your youth - the pure happiness he had always brought you. It gave you hope for your future, for your future together.

“Okay.” He said quietly, “are you free tonight?”

“Tonight? Eager, are we?”

“I have to make up for lost time, my dear.” You both looked at each other, tears staining your faces but wide smiles adorning them also.

“Tonight it is then. Pick me up at seven?”

“Five.”

“Five is too early, I need to get ready.”

“Six then.”

“Half past six.”

“Done.”

[kentosovertime]

𝕖𝕔𝕔𝕖𝕕𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕤𝕕𝕚𝕒𝕤𝕥; (n.) someone who only pretends to smile

𝕤𝕪𝕟𝕠𝕡𝕤𝕚𝕤… when geto and gojo grow apart, resulting in their break up, gojo finds friendship and belonging with you and when geto returns he decides he wants you for himself 𝕚𝕟𝕗𝕠… 2.7k wc, college!au series, satosugu, geto x gojo x afab!reader, explicit content and language, includes themes of manipulation, jealousy, angst, spiteful behavior, etc. toxic friendships, emotionally constipated men, mentions of alcohol, exhibitionism, voyeurism, heavy petting 𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣… reblogs and likes are appreciated 𝕥𝕒𝕘𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥… send me an ask (link) if you want to be tagged

𝕤𝕖𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕤 𝕞𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥 | 𝕞𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥 | 𝕥𝕒𝕘 𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥 | 𝕒𝕤𝕜 𝕓𝕠𝕩

Satoru waits until he hears the refrigerator close in the kitchen and footsteps approach the front door of the apartment before he leaves his room to get ready for class. He frowns to himself, sighing heavily as he goes to make a quick breakfast and pack his bag. 

He shakes his protein in his shaker bottle and scrolls mindlessly through his notifications to distract his self loathing thoughts. There are plenty of notifications for matches on his phone… Maybe he could find someone new to take some of his restlessness out on?

Satoru is in the middle of messaging a girl back with a small, satisfied smirk when keys jingle in the door and Geto comes back in, stopping short when he takes in the app on Satoru’s screen. 

“Forgot my laptop…” He mutters and disappears into the room they used to share, coming out a moment later with it propped in his arms. 

Satoru bites the inside of his cheek, looking down at his phone without a response. Sometimes he really despises how much he still cares about Geto. When their relationship had blown up in their faces, he hadn’t pressed him to move out. It was hard enough to find an apartment in a college town and it was quite another thing to afford one alone.  

After he had stormed out that night, he came back when he knew Geto would be at work, emptying his belongings from their room and moving into the sparse guest room that used to be his before they finally decided to give into the tension between them. He sighs at the memory, something deep and tucked away in his heart aching for something that could no longer be. He swallows around the lump in his throat, remembering how happy he was that Geto was away so he could cry in peace, not wanting anyone to see him like that, so weak. 

He still cared for Geto and the last thing he wanted was for him to end up on the streets or living in his car. Satoru would have been fine, he has more than enough money to spare, but he’s not a total asshole. 

In his own defense, when he had decided that he wouldn’t press the issue, Geto was barely around anyway. There had been weeks at a time that he’d go before seeing him between classes, his job and internship, and Satoru’s conflicting schedule. But now, with the internship done, his classes and work had returned to normal… but they hadn’t. 

He was still having trouble adjusting, even after a couple weeks passing to get used to a different routine.. 

“Hey…” Geto clears his throat, shifting on his feet. “I meant to ask before leaving, but you weren’t up yet. Is everyone still meeting up for coffee?” 

“Yeah, we’ll be there starting at 2.” Ah, the other compromise that Satoru had silently made. Having the same friend group since before they started dating complicated things on top of their living arrangement. It wasn’t fair to make them side one way or the other and deep down, Satoru was afraid that the rest of the group only tolerated him and would pick Geto when it came down to it… Well everyone except for (y/n). “Just stop by whenever you get out of class.” 

“I should be there around 2:30…” Despite his nervous shifting, a small smile graces his lips and Satoru’s heart skips a beat, missing seeing happiness on his face. “I’m excited to see everyone again after so long.” 

“Shoko hasn’t shut up about it.” Satoru snorts, and takes a swig of his shake. “And (y/n) is excited to finally meet you. Try not to be a total offstandish ass to her.” 

“No promises, Gojo.” Geto finds his smirk growing as he playfully rolls his eyes, knowing that Satoru is fucking with him. He was always a gentleman to women, even if he wasn’t as personable as the man in front of him. Geto was shocked that the group still acknowledged he existed, thinking that Satoru would have been the obvious choice after their split. “I’ll see you later.”

He huffs out in acknowledgement, sagging when the front door finally closes behind Geto. He didn’t mind making room for Geto in his life again for Shoko, Mei Mei, or Nanamin, but having to share you?

His gut tightens in protective possessiveness. You were everything to him; his best friend. The title used to belong to Geto, but that’s no longer the case for obvious reasons. And it can’t belong to Shoko with how she ends up moderating the two men.

You had pulled him through his hardest days, seen him through the dark months when he was piecing himself back together, making bad decisions to compensate for the hole that was punched through his heart. He doesn’t know what he’d do without you. 

You had barreled your way into his life only a few days after the breakup, approaching him in one of his classes to hand him a summary of the notes from the class he missed. When he had asked you why you’d gone out of your way so selflessly, you simply said that you noticed he didn’t seem himself and you thought he could use a friend. 

He found that he loved that you were his, that you weren’t tainted by Geto and that he didn’t have to share you with him. 

When he makes it to the cafe later that afternoon, he makes sure to take the space next to you on the leather couch. Leaning into whatever you were animatedly explaining to Shoko. 

“I’m just saying that if we tie him up and throw him in the trunk, what will he do?” You reason, like what you’re saying is completely normal. “If he screams we can gag him.”

“I’m here for the vibe, but how about we just lie to him?” She snorts loudly and takes a puff off of her vape, blowing the smoke away from the group. 

“Who exactly are we talking about?” Satoru buts his way into the conversation, curious and ready to aid and abet at a moment's notice. 

“We’re planning something for Kento’s birthday in a few months.” You grin wildly, leaning closer to him so you can conspire with him, whispering as if Nanami’s scowling face will appear out of thin air. “It’s his 20th birthday! We have to party and force him to attend. And if we book him accommodations in a love hotel for shits and giggles, so be it. You can smell the man’s sexual frustration from a mile away.”

“I always loved charity work.” He snickers, all but offering his help with whatever you need. He stands and stretches his limber limbs, cracking his neck before he announces he’s going to use the restroom. Before he goes his gaze softens and he smiles at you. “Do you want me to grab you something on my way back? One of those cinnamon rolls you like?” 

“Yes, please~” The soft smile you shoot his way has his heart racing for some unknown reason.

By the time he comes back carrying your plate, someone else is sitting next to you. He stops in his tracks, deflating slightly when he sees Geto, making himself at home, leaning into your personal space with that sly, flirty smirk Satoru knows so well. And it feels like a stab through his heart when he sees you laughing at whatever he told you. 

Three things crash through Satoru at once as he starts to pale. First, he realizes, watching your smile light up your face and have it not directed at him, that he likes you. Second, the hot churning sensation in his stomach was jealousy, something he hasn’t experienced in years. Lastly, to his shock, the jealousy isn’t just directed at Geto, but at you.

You have his attention, his smile, even his touch as Satoru watches him lay his hand on your thigh, thumbing the surface of your skin under the hem of your shorts. 

Why hadn’t he asked you out before this? He asks himself as something punches him in the gut and hollows open his insides.

“‘Toru!” He blinks rapidly, clearing his mind with a shake of his head, as he sees you making aggressively cute grabby hands towards the plate he was holding with the cinnamon roll on it. An excited noise leaves your throat as you take it and bite a huge chunk out of it. “Thank you, bestie.” 

“No problem, you fucking gremlin.” He rubs your head affectionately, smirking as Geto’s eye twitches at the familiar touch. “You getting along with Mr. Tightass over here?” 

He kicks your leg, making you shuffle over and push Geto down the couch so he could settle on your other side, wanting to sit next to you more than before. 

“Of course she is,” Geto scoffs at him before leaning back against the arm of the couch with the sly smile returning. “I’m a pleasure to be around.” 

“He’s going to bring me over to that book store with the bar in it after this.” Satoru can see you teeming with excitement despite the shy look plastered on your face, complete with a light flush on your cheeks as you look back and meet Geto’s eyes. 

“Oh?” Satoru’s voice is falsely curious with just a hint of the teasing he normally levels at you, like he isn’t having the rug pulled out from under him. “Hot date?”

“N-No-” You stammer in embarrassment at the exact same Geto chuckles, pulling your attention back to him.

“Damn. I thought I was pretty obvious about it.” He grins, reaching out to gently thumb your cheek, sending your heart rate through the roof. “Sweetheart you already said yes, don’t break my heart.”

“I.. Y-you’re sure?” Satoru hates how his insides churn as he watches you fully face Geto, saying yes to the man less than fifteen minutes after meeting him. “I could be crazy, you know.”

“Oh I know you are if you’re friends with that-” He nods behind you with a knowing smirk, seeing Satoru’s murderous glare on him. Really could he be more obvious? “Good thing I don’t mind crazy, baby.”

“Wow. Shafted and ditched bestie.” Satoru whines and acts annoyed so you don’t see that you’re ripping his soul in half. “What about me?”

You playfully smack his arm with a little grin, like he’s just fucking with you. You think that he can be such a needy baby sometimes, but he just had such a big heart you couldn’t help but want to be his friend. 

“Don’t you have a million matches to respond to?” Geto hums like he isn’t letting you know that you have hundreds of other girls to compete with, all with the sharp edge of disapproval out of his own selfishness over Satoru. 

“Shit, yeah I forgot I need to go tell them to fuck off.” Satoru tries for a tone that’s silky sweat but it comes out just a bit too snippy. “Guess I’ll see you tomorrow, gremlin. You still have those notes for me from the class I missed?”

“Of course I do, you degenerate. No way you’d graduate in the Spring without them.” You tease, hiding a sad look that he’s already packing his bag up to head out. 

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Satoru wandered aimlessly for the evening, eventually too bored of the campus’s study rooms to stand it anymore. The sun was setting, casting golden yellow rays of light through the budding leaves as he walked across the campus quad, heading to his favorite hole bar in the wall where he could drink in peace without being bothered. 

He hadn’t been here since right after the breakup, so the staff looked confused to see him back, but promptly kept his drink full in his hands without having to ask. The last thing he wanted was to go home and have Geto try to talk to him about what happened, but they had to close eventually and he could tell they were itching for him to pack up so they could lock up.

He didn’t even want to wake up in the morning and have to hear the same exact story that Geto told him, but this time from your pretty pink lips while you smiled with that shy excitement that only came out when you liked someone. In all the time he’d known you, while you were a chaotic little shit, you didn’t have a malicious bone in your body, you just weren’t capable. 

He kicks a pebble down the sidewalk with a sour taste in his mouth. He shouldn’t be upset with you, he just wants the attention you’re getting and also desperately wants to give you that attention too. 

He knew how charming Geto could be, how calculating he was when he decided he wanted to do something. He just hoped that he wouldn’t hurt you like he did to Satoru. He’d finally find it in him to truly hate him if Geto ever caused you to question your worth like Satoru had. 

This all made him so fucking sick. And he saw that look in Geto’s eyes, he knew how Satoru felt about you. It was hard not to scream in frustration. He wanted to push him and see what his intentions were with you. 

He sighs when he’s met with the sight of his front door, putting his keys in the lock and slipping inside. He stares blankly at the shoes in the entryway, his heart beating in a sick rhythm when he sees your boots laying neatly next to Geto’s hightops. 

But it's so late… His brain refuses to connect the dots until a masculine groan he’s all too familiar with sounds further inside. 

“Fuck-” A breathy moan slides down the hall and into his ears as he edges his way to the living room only to be greeted to the sight of the two of you together on their couch.

His eyes widen at the sight of you straddling Geto’s lap half naked, your shirt thrown carelessly across the area rug with Geto’s. His gaze catches every torturous detail in high definition. 

Geto’s hand fists into the hair at the nape of your neck, jerking your face into place as he lips devour yours, his tongue tangling with yours, easily dominating you and pulling a defeated whimper from your throat. Satoru’s eyes dip to Geto’s free hand that’s shoved its way under your bra, greedily groping the mass of flush, paying special attention to your nipples. 

The attention has you hazy, your eyes cloudy and unfocused when Satoru watches your face break away from Geto’s falling back with a loud moan. Geto surges forward and takes advantage of your new position to attack your neck, sucking stark marks onto the column of your throat so dark you wouldn’t be able to go out without hiding them. 

It’s easy to imagine that it's him doing this to you, that you had chosen him instead. But when you shove your hand needily into Geto’s pants, stroking his cock in such a delicious rhythm you have him bucking into your touch, his hands leaving you to start pushing down your leggings in a rushed manner, Satoru loses it. It should be him doing that.  

“Thought we said no fucking in the common rooms?” He snaps meanly, loving how you jolt and push Geto away in a panic, hastily wrapping your arms around your front to cover yourself up as a crimson blush radiates all the way down your chest. “Make sure to use protection, Geto will try to convince you he doesn’t need it.”

Satoru growls and turns on his heels, slamming his door harshly when Geto’s only response was a smirk and satisfied, taunting sparkle in his eyes. 

He seethes as he throws his bag to the ground, jealousy rampant that you were free to be loved by him and resentment burning that Geto may have ruined his new hope for happiness.

tag list: @sugarbooger513 @sugarmapoops @roughwithfluff @severelytalentless @silversslut @dreamyyholland @wobblewobble822 @rafzaha @chososhoney @littlemochi @bebechinas99 @saoney @pelicanpizza @damncakie @katgalle @honeyyjems @tsukikoxo @kibananya @reine-son[[ if your blog name is crossed out i couldn't tag you]]

[rr311]

·˚ ༘ 𝑰𝒏𝒇𝒐 ➪ fluff, jealous & sassy nanami, black!reader

₊˚ෆ 𝑺𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒊𝒔 while you were on your date with nanami, you had bumped Into a long time friend catching up with him. but nanami didn't like the fact he was being touchy with you and gets jealousy.

ミ★ 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒆 this was a request from someone anonymously who asked “young jealous nanami.” but I lost the thing 😕, so It won’t be able to notified the person I’m responding to so If you’re still keeping updated with me I’m so sorry for your late request and still hope you like It anyway!

also guys, we’re so close to 1k followers 🙏 If any of you forgot once we hit 1k followers I will be doing a face reveal and a little giveaway (If I think of something by then) but If It does happen I will provide details!

❝ 𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐘 ! ❞ - 𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭

❤︎︎# — 𝖭𝖠𝖭𝖠𝖬𝖨 kento was very vocal about his expressions when It came to a lot of stuff. so when you seen the face he was making when your friend was talking to you, you put two and two together.

he was getting jealous ~

kento was never the jealous type which also surprised you to see the dirty glare he was giving f/n. a tight hold on his tea cup looked as If It was gonna break by how tight he was holding the mug, It made his blood boil to see this guy be all touchy with you. you might've thought It was all friendly and nice but he was also a guy, he knows how guys can be when It came to girls. your friend liked you. It was obvious!

even when gojo or geto would hug you or playfully touch you It was genuine friendship not this! he hated to say but he wished you were talking to gojo out of all people. thought gojo can be an asshole sometimes he knows to respect your guys relationship despite the many times he's tried to get under his skin or annoy him. kento scoffed to himself turning back to outside watching as cars and birds went by taking another sip from his tea. you noticed this, tearing your eyes away from f/n to him with a deep sigh grinning. f/n followed where your gaze was to be met with the blonde boy across from them, his eyebrows furrowed. when he was about to say something to catch your attention you Interrupted, "f/n It was so nice seeing you again but I have to get back to someone. I'm so sorry n/n." you said looking at him with an apologetic look standing up from your seat as he nodded his head slowly going disappointed. "uh yeah..I'll see you next time then?." you gave him a small smile, "of course, my number Is still the same just text me!." you ruffled his hair hearing him whine, swatting his hand at you, “y/n my hair!.” he pouted slightly but shook his head with a gentle smiling.

once f/n had left you walked back to your table to where your pouty boyfriend was sat. when you sat down In front of kento he still kept his gaze outside with a bitter look, "kento." he gave you a small glance with a brow, "oh? you're finally back from your friend? I didn't notice you." you rolled your eyes kicking him playfully under the table poking your lip out, "kenny, don't be like that. he's just my friend." he scoffed setting down his mug looking at you fully, "a friend that likes you?."

"he doesn't like me-" "y/n I'm a guy. I know how we are when we like a girl. the hints where there." again you sighed shaking your head, grabbing ahold of his hand. "ken, trust me when I say this. f/n Is clingy. like really clingy, and I admit he does need to learn boundaries but he's still just a kid babe. he's only 16, It's been awhile since we last seen each other. trust me he has no feelings for me." nanamis eyebrows furrowed but then sighed looking down.

after hearing your explanation..everything made sense In a way. he gave your hand a small squeeze nodding his head, "I only love you kento, stop being a big baby." you chuckled seeing him shoot a glare your way but nodded his head again, "I'm sorry my love." he mumbled feeling his cheeks heat up from being flustered bringing your hand to his lips pecking the back of It as you stared at him with nothing but love In your eyes, "I'm not mad at you so don't worry, It wasn't big anyway" you shrugged, "but don't do It again." you pointed a finger at him who grinned In response staring back at you, "yes ma'am." you smiled back placing your hand to grab ahold of his chin bringing him forward as you leaned across the table, "good." you closed the space between you both feeling his lips ontop of yours.

he Instantly relaxed In your hold leaning more Into It but remembering you're In a public place you pulled back after a few seconds as he chased your lips with a groan. you patted his cheek standing up from your spot with a energetic bounce, "now let's go! I can't be late to my hair appointment."

had him right between your fingers.

[eydi-andrius]

Side Characters End Up Alone (Gojo Satoru x Reader)

cw/tw: angst, unrequited love, childhood friends, drunk gojo, hurt with no comfort

a/n: listen to footnote by conan gray for the added feels

-------------

"Let's just date each other. What do you think?" Satoru asked, laughing with a hiccup.

It hurts.

Seeing your feelings being laughed at after all those years. He knew……he knew you loved him. More than just a friend. He knew and he brushed it off. He knew and rejected you far too many times that you can count.

What the fuck is this about?

"C'mon! Don't just stare like that. What do you think about being my girlfriend?" He joked again. This time with a tap to your shoulder. He was breathless as he laughed at his unfunny joke, alone.

"You're drunk." With a swallow, you tried to remove the glass of alcohol he was holding. He called you earlier because it turns out his girlfriend broke up with him again.

It was his fault. He never really gave her the time she deserved. How many times did she give him a chance? You don't really know.

"Eh! Don't be like that! Let me drink my heart out. I thought friends join you when you're suffering from heartbreak?" He pouted with unfocused eyes. You came here a bit late. You were scared because he sounded so drunk on the phone. And drunk Satoru can be a handful to others.

"Stop being childish. Let's go." With a firm resolve, you grab the glass he was holding and hoist his shoulder to yours to assist him to walk outside.

When you came, bottles of different types of alcohol were placed on the booth. He never drinks this much. It was your first time seeing him this broken. They have broken up before but you have guessed, this time, she might have stepped down on him and called quits forever.

Swaying, you did your best to help him out. He was heavy and the both of you barely walked straight.

He was singing a tune you don't understand while moving his body along. It was hell as you tried your best to move him downstairs without breaking both of your necks.

Somehow, once you stepped at the last drop of the stairs, he turned quiet. Concerned as to why he shut up all of a sudden, you looked up to see that he was staring down at you. His cheeks were tinted pink, his eyes watery and he was breathing through his mouth, letting out the smell of alcohol.

"But really, would you go out with me?" He asked again but this time you snapped.

How many years have you loved this guy? You grew up together. Joined Jujutsu High as a late transferies. Witnessed his blooming friendship with Geto and Shoko. Being there with him when Geto and him had a fall out.

All your life, you have been by his side as a side character. All your life, he knew how you felt. Satoru is no stupid. He knew and still he did this. Something gut-wrenching and cruel to someone who had been with him from the start. Someone who loved him so much that she was willing to let him go and held to their friendship. Because she told herself that it was better to hide and bury her true feelings. Friendship is more important than hers.

"Stop making fun of my feelings!"

Your scream was loud to the point that some patron looked at the direction where you two were standing. Some were too drunk to notice the drama. But it was enough to catch attention.

Eyes blurry with tears and breathing heavily to stop the sharp feeling of hurt, you looked up and stared at his blank face.

Shit.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

He was drunk. You should have been more patient. More lenient.

Looking around, your anxiety spiked through the roof when you saw that the people near you two were staring and muttering to each other. The buzz was not that loud but it was loud for you. Panicking, you stepped back and ran outside.

The smell of the pavement and the freezing wind welcome you as you race outside. Usually, the after rain calms you. Yet, the feeling of hollowness filled your space. It was cold. And you feel so alone and hurt.

Part of your brain regretted it. Some believe you have done the best thing.

You're not drunk, you shouldn't have done that.

He deserved it for being an asshole.

Your mind quarrels with each other as you try your best to breathe properly after that sudden jog. Being an office worker, exercise was never your strong suit.

What will you do now?

You bit your lip when you finally composed yourself. You're so stupid. Satoru was drunk and he probably didn't mean to hurt you. Right?

You hugged yourself for comfort, finally feeling the chill outside. If you don't go and find your car soon, you're probably going to get sick. But there is no way that you will just leave Satoru alone while he is that drunk.

Deciding to go back and find your friend, you were surprised to hear your name being called out and seeing Satoru stumbling forward when he finally saw you.

"I-I'm really sorry. I was drunk and not thinking. I- I never meant to hurt you."

Trigger words.

Most of the time, you let it go. Well, it was your fault anyway. Deciding to still be friends even though your interest for him is deeper than love itself. You know it was suicide to still be friends with him but you rather have that than losing him altogether. He was that precious to you.

However, right now, you realized something important. A person who has no self-respect will receive the same thing from the people around them. Although it hurts, and it was a slap in the face. And you probably shouldn't have said it because you were too angry, there was something inside you that snapped and decided this was the best course of action. You deserve more than what Satoru offers you.

"I'm so sorry too. I knew it was my fault for still continuing our friendship even though I know I will lose and there will be more times that you will hurt me unintentionally by acting friends because I told you so. But god, Satoru, I fucking hate you!" There, you said.

His blue eyes, to whom you wanted to only and will always look at you, widen with surprise. Even in these dim lights, his existence shines so beautifully.

"I cannot do this anymore. I am done! I am so done being this stupid! I am done trying to follow the crumbs you give me each time. My feelings are always true, Satoru. And I don't deserve being trampled and played like this." Warm tears run down your cheeks as you heave and try to compose yourself, afraid to pass out from anger.

"You know how much I love you but you always, always, do this shit to me! Stop playing with my heart!" Running your hand through your hair, you looked around and blinked trying to stop the overflowing tears that seemed unending.

"This…..this will be the last time you will do this to me. There will be no us anymore. No friendship. No ever. I'm done. We're done. You will never get away from hurting me again." Pulling the bracelet he gave to you when you were young, you threw it on his face.

The beads scattered and exploded when your pull made the old and worn rope, keeping them together, snapped in two.

With a final look of pain and the sight of his defeated face, you walked towards your car and left.

He didn't even bother to stop you. You knew he wouldn't. He never did all those years. Even though he sees the pain in your eyes as he enjoys the company of his lover in front of you.

You watched him for the last time in your side mirror. You watched his silhouette getting smaller and smaller, and just standing there, with no plans to move at any moment.

With one last look, you turned your head at the road ahead and you promised to yourself that this would be the last time you will do this.

This time, all your love will be given to the deserving.

And that person was you.

[guiltyreverie]

Remedy

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3

Pairing: Gojo x reader

Content tags: enemies to lovers; slow burn; afab!reader; clan issues

Warnings: slow burn, gojo being a dick (even geto can’t save him here), enemies to lovers, arranged marriage, gojo dating around, pain :)

Word count: 6.5k

“Say something. Anything,”, he grasps your hands and you push his hands away, almost disgusted at him for behaving this way, “I’m begging you.”, he looks at you with a defeated expression.

“You’re un-fucking-believable, Gojo.”, you almost spit at him but you take a step back away from him to avoid such immaturity and shake your head.

It’s been almost two weeks since you went to Gojo’s house and he finally got the stick out of his butt to realize just how badly he screwed up - it took him two weeks to notice, mind you.

“Are you always going to be an immature asshole, insulting me whenever we disagree, Satoru?”, you aren’t yelling yet, but with all your pent up anger and worse, hurt, it’s going to be only a matter of time.

He interrupts your well prepared monologue, “No-“

“Shut it.”, he immediately shuts up and looks at you like a kicked puppy. “I’m talking now, no interruptions, you hear me?”, he nods along afraid of what you’d do if he actually interrupted you again.

“I did not deserve to be treated like- like a himbo in front of your entire family!”, you stutter, your anger consuming you to the point all your prepared insults and thoughts just crumble and you aren’t able to form coherent thoughts. You take a deep breath and run your hand through your hair: “All I wanted was for you to open up because I care about you and I worry for you,”, Satoru widens his eyes and opens his mouth only for him to close it again like a fish when you give him a ‘don’t you dare speak’ look, “but even that seems to bite me in the ass with you, Gojo. I’m done with whatever kind of friendship we had, do what you want, I’m out of here.”

“Y/n”, he grabs your arm to hold you back from turning around but you quickly shake it off.

Your steps halt for a second and it seems like all your inner turmoil just disappeared and you’re left with some sort of clearance: no anger, no hurt, no frustration, nothing.

You coldly glance at him and shake his arm off then keep walking - a silent goodbye.

He wanted to run after you, catch you, you were slipping off his grasp but he knew if he didn’t respect your wishes now, he’d completely lose you and there would be absolutely no way you’d ever forgive him.

With every step you took you felt the tension in your shoulders ease and when you finally stepped outside the nagging sense of freedom was gnawing at your skin as if it was finally breaking free you suddenly could breathe the breath you were holding in and relief washes over you - the chapter about Gojo Satoru was over what you fail to realize is that it’s an entire book about him

Saying goodbye to your feelings towards Satoru was easier than you had initially thought - maybe you were in denial or in a state of apathy but it helped immensely.

Even when you finally see him after a few days your body gave out no reaction - no thumping heartbeat, no goosebumps, nothing; you were so indifferent towards him, towards anything really, you had become a mere shelter of what you had once deemed as yourself but there was no changing it - at least some of his comments were true it seems.

He’d glance at you several times even when somebody else was talking to him and despite your best attempts to ignore him you still feel him staring; it irks you, makes you feel naked, you knox he’s trying to read you; figure out what’s going on im that pretty little head of yours and it’s only a matter of time before you break under his excruciating stare.

Your mouth opens before you can even stop yourself: “What?”, he is startled - he didn’t expect you to actually talk to him first.

“You’re pretty.”, your eyes widen in surprise and you flick his forehead.

“Compliments aren’t going to make me forgive you.”

“It was worth a shot.”, that boyish smile reappears, the same smile that makes you feel giddy and almost always makes you want to drop down your guard and let him in; for a split second you think that smile is worth your ruin and you have to shake yourself off of those thoughts, let the rationality take over again otherwise you might catch yourself falling into a hole you can’t come out of.

You shake your head no, your eyes distrusting, to someone like him you probably just look like a scared bunny but you didn’t care, you let him in once and see where it got you.

“Anything important you need to discuss?”, you stare blankly at him.

“Hmm, something important...”, he grabs his chin contemplatively, “well if I say ‘you’, how would you react?”

“Gojo, be serious for once in your life!”, you scoff at him.

“I am.”

“No, you aren’t.”, you roll your eyes.

“See, y/n, that’s your problem, you always assume what’s going on in my head and why we can never see eye to eye.”, he’s starting to whine.

“I wouldn’t have to, if you’d just say what you think for once in a while,”, you sigh, “but as we have seen at the dinner, sometimes I really don’t want to know what’s going on in your head.”

“C’mon, sweetheart, I wasn’t being serious, I just wanted to rile you up a little.”

“Well you seriously hurt me, so I guess you did rile me up in some way.”, you want to forgive him, but the part of you that was always at odds with Gojo, the part that was always insulted by Gojo couldn’t; The two of you don’t know how to be friends with each other and maybe it should just stay that way, and hopefully someday you’ll become acquainted enough to get married.

The odds weren’t looking good for the both of you and it would always just be a matter of days or weeks when you’d just start to fight again, that’s how you guys always were and how you’d always will be, you can’t deny this.

“I’m sorry, it was never my intention to actually hurt you.”, Gojo grabs your face and looks at you with so much intensity and honesty, add his height to the equation and you can’t help but feel intimidated by him, “look at me, y/n, look at me and tell me I’m lying. We both know I’m not.”.

The two of you stare at each other for what feels like minutes but you don’t know how much time has actually passed and you sigh.

“You’re on very thin ice, Gojo.”

Smooch - you felt a wet and warm sensation; Satoru had just kissed your cheek sloppily, you’re too shocked to even react - He had kissed you; suddenly you’re unable register anything other than your face heating up and the inner little devil voice in your head craving more of this.

When you finally manage to pull yourself together you push him away stunned and flustered: “Gojo! Have some shame, won’t you.”, he grins that boyish smile once again and you can feel the ice on your heart thawing little by little - a sense of doom overcomes you. You hate this, you hate him, you hate yourself for letting him crawl back to your heart.

You take a step away from him, a bubble of anxiety rises within you, you need to breathe, a task which you find really hard to do when you catch yourself once again staring at his blue eyes that look at you with the same anxiety you’re feeling - were those his or your feeling reflecting in his irises? You weren’t sure, maybe both.

“Look, you screw this up and it’s final, no more redemption, apologies or whatever else you come up with are gonna work anymore.”, you look at him trying to read his stoic expression but as always; it’s hard to find out what’s going on inside his head. “I’m tired of opening up just for it to bite me in the ass afterwards.”

“I know and I promise, I did not mean to hurt you.”

You nod, he deserves the benefit of the doubt, at least for your own sanity and your future together.

To your surprise he did seem to pull himself together and although you two still bicker at any chance you get or he ends up teasing and annoying the hell out of you, it was different than before - it was more lighthearted, less intense, you liked this dynamic between you. You guys hang out even more together - Haname even complains about how he is taking up all of your time and in response he ends up bragging about that towards her and you end up scolding him for his immaturity.

Sometimes the three of you would hang out together but other times Satoru would drag you out by yourself or Haname would explain she had enough of him for a while and needed some girl time and right now was one of those occasions.

Haname and you end up sitting in a nice restaurant and enjoying each other’s company, god you loved her so much.

“Yknow, I’m not trying to be all sentimental but remember when we ate here for the first time?”, she grins at you happily, you can’t help but roll your eyes at her playfully.

“God, you sound like a 80 year old lady reconciling with her long lost friend.”

“I mean, you do have been kinda M.I.A. these weeks.”, she wiggles her eyebrows like a mad woman and you scoff.

“I have not.”

“You have.”

“How have I been M.I.A.?”, you gasp in surprise - you had fairly often talked to her the past few days.

“Uh-huh”, she hums, “baby, even when you’re with me, you’re still hung up thinking about your boyfriend.”, she grins, a glint in her eyes, that tells you she knows exactly what’s going on inside your head - even without telling her.

You scowl at her: “He’s not my boyfriend.”, and try to save at least some of the dignity that your cheeks starting to flame up as if you had just entered hellfire are taking away from you.

She looks at you with a pointed look: “I didn’t even mention his name.”

If you thought your face couldn’t get any redder than now, you were proven horribly wrong now.

“It’s not like that.”, you roll your eyes, a little pang hits you in the chest, “he doesn’t even feel the same way”, you shrug and gulp down the tension that’s building up in your throat. “We’re just facing the fact that we’re going to end up together either way and decided it might be better to get along instead of hating each other’s gut.”

“What I’m hearing is, you like him.”, she smiles at you.

You nod hesitantly.

“Well, how are you so sure, he doesn’t feel the same?”, she looks at you, her gaze clearly saying ‘don’t assume what other people are thinking’

You shake your head at her and gesture to the couple a few seats behind you: “That’s why.”

She turns around to the spot you pointed at before she gasps loudly, catching the attention of several people in the room, including Satoru, who was sitting in front of a pretty girl and then smiled at you guys before focusing back on the girl in front of him; she seemed to pay no attention on everyone but him.

“Why. Are. You. Letting. This. Happen.”, she hits your arm in between each word.

You smile at her sadly, you had already accepted this situation but it still felt like salt being rubbed into a wound you didn’t even know was still open. “Just because I like him, doesn’t mean I’ll stop him from finding someone he likes.”, you shrug once again and stab the fork into your steak. “We’re arranged, Haname, I can’t force him to like me romantically.”

She looks at you as if you had gone insane: “And you think that makes it ok for him to see other girls without your permission?”

You chuckle coldy at her: “No, that's where you’re wrong.”, you take a bite of the steak and swallow it down, the same way you’re swallowing down all of your feelings regarding this situation, “He did ask for permission and I gave it to him.”

She shakes her head at you: “You’re a fucking idiot.”

“Thanks, I know.”

“Don’t you think it’s unfair to the girls to be dating someone who is already promised to someone else?”, she scowls at you and you can’t help but feel offended.

“Don’t you think I don’t know that?”, you scoff at her and can’t believe she’s trying to make you the bad guy in this situation. “I already told him, he’s just going to break their hearts and if he wants to relieve some steam he should be upfront about it.”

She looked relieved: “Good. What happened then?”

“Nothing - he just said to let that be his worry.”, you sigh, “anyways, can we drop this, I don’t like talking about it.”

She looks at you sheepishly and considers her next few words as if she was talking to a scared child: “Y’know, if you’d just tell him how you feel, you could save yourself the pain.”

“And give myself the pain of embarrassment?”, you chuckle, “or of rejection? Besides, I don't want him to treat me like a fragile little thing just because my heart beats a little faster whenever I see him.”, god you really didn’t want to talk about this topic anymore - it makes the formerly delicious steak taste horrible and makes you want to throw it up at the next chance you get.

“Baby, your heart beating a little faster whenever you see him is an understatement - your eyes practically search for him whenever he isn’t there and when he is? Full of hearts.”, she raises her eyebrows as if trying to make her point come across clearer, “not to mention, whether you like it or not, you basically crumble at his attention, girl- you’re completely whipped.”

“No way.”, you look at her as if she’s the insane one now. “I do not!”, the urge within you to throw a fry at her grows stronger.

She laughs and makes weird googly eyes at you while saying: “See, this is how you look like.”

You shake your head and laugh - you'll get over him, you’re sure of that and give the two of them one last quick glance before you shove down any type of remaining angst deep into your chamber of unresolved issues.

It seemed like you couldn’t be any more wrong, though because whenever he gives you his boyish smile your legs still feel like pudding or when he wraps his arms around you, you can’t help but lean in a little closer - as Haname said, you were whipped, it doesn’t matter how much you deny it.

Although the next time you’re faced with his charming smile you’re almost about to throw up.

“I really do like her, y/n”, he smiles.

Please shut up, you almost wince out, but you can’t, you can’t let him see what you’re feeling, not when he was finally genuinely happy after Geto left. It pained you to know there would always be someone else behind the reason for his smile and never you. You could laugh and joke around with him but you’d never be the one holding his heart and you wished you could more than anything else in the world but you’d rather kiss a curse than ever openly admit it to him.

When you finally break out of your thoughts you notice Satoru is staring at you nervously, as if he was waiting for a reply and you try to gulp down any sort of distress you were feeling; he didn’t sign up for a girl unable to handle her feelings for him.

You try to smile sheepishly at him but your voice still comes out shakier than you had planned: “I’m sorry, ‘Toru, I wasn’t listening.”

He ‘tsked’ and poked your cheek: “What’s gotten your pretty little head so deep in thought that you can’t focus on this dashing young man in front of you.”

“It’s nothing”, you breathe out and he looks at you in disbelief and you reassure him again “It’s really nothing,”, you give him a pointed look, “just got my head in the clouds, I’m fine”, it seems like you try to reassure yourself more than him.

He still gives you the same look but then shrugs it off: “No pressure, if you don’t want to tell me. I was asking if it was fine to ask her out to be my girlfriend.”

Absolutely nothing could have prepared you for this, if you felt like he had punched you in the guts before, this time it felt like he threw an entire planet at your gut - you really were going to puke now.

“I- Satoru..”, you didn’t know what to focus on, your vision started to get blurry, you really were about to fucking crack and you wish you could erase your feelings when you can make out his worried expression - you felt guilty, horrible and most of all you yearned, you yearned for him and it’s slowly killing you as if you were an animal at the butcher’s house slowly bleeding out, simply because you know, this will always be one-sided affection.

He grabs your shoulders and he almost violently shakes you and you finally get a hold of reality, Satoru is in front of you and you’re probably terrifying him with your weird behavior.

Your voice cracks: “I’m sorry, Satoru,” you felt incredibly selfish but on one hand you knew this would be the right decision, “I can’t agree with that.”

He looks at you, startled for a second and then he realizes what you’re saying; his expression quickly goes from confusion to anger. “Why?”

“Look-“

“What, y/n? Can’t handle me being happy?”, he let’s go of your arms, his jaw is tense and his once blue yet warm eyes felt like nothing but an eerie ice cold lake.

You wince, you can’t handle him being angry at you, especially when it’s rightfully placed anger - you felt terrible. “We are arranged to get married, Satoru.”, you look at him, you were truly sorry and incredibly selfish, so fucking selfish.

“So what? Does that mean I have to deprive myself of love completely, y/n? Am I unable to love anyone that isn’t you?”, his voice is getting louder and you have to hold back a whimper - your tears that already risked coming out were now falling continuously.

“Don’t you think it’s unfair?”, you finally manage to get out, your voice was as unsteady as you felt - god you wish you hadn’t agreed to this in the first place. “I’m sorry, Satoru, I really am.”, you try to grasp his hands but he shakes them off and you have to gulp down the aching pain of betrayal in your chest, “but don’t you think it’s unfair to the girl, to hope on a love, knowing you’re promised to another?”, you tried to maintain a pretext of reasoning, of sense, but deep down - in the deepest parts of your heart - you knew it was because you couldn’t handle seeing him with someone else, not with the knowledge that she’s his girlfriend.

He scoffs at you in disbelief: “Cut the bullshit, you wouldn’t care less about a stranger, it’s about the fucking family image, isn’t it?”

“No, it’s not-“

“Fucking save it.”, he interrupts you and you had never - not even in your arguments before - heard Satoru speak with such disgust directed towards you and he walks away.

You felt absolutely utterly terrible and finally let out the sobs you’ve been holding in - this is all your fault, you whimper to yourself. You were a hypocrite - telling him to go out with someone but the moment it gets actually real you deprive him of exactly that.

You stay at the place for probably several hours - you didn’t really count - but you stay there until your breathing finally evens and you’re able to go a few minutes without crying; you had cried your soul out that night until you were only left with the biggest headache and a void inside of you, you knew were unable to ever fill again.

Slowly you get up, your legs felt weak after sitting for so long but you had to get a grip, you had to at least go back to your room.

Just why did you have to open your mouth and ruin all the good stuff happening between the two of you, you felt terrible your own pain colliding with the guilt of your intertwined fate; two forces clashing into one another creating a cataclysm in your very own mind. You wanted to curse at everyone, hate everyone for putting you in this position: entrapped in freedom - you were kindly speaking a mess.

The room was silent - only your irregular breathing was audible, which was quite contrary to your very loud mind. You wanted to apologize, take everything back, undo what you did but sooner or later this would’ve happened anyways. Imagine explaining to your girlfriend you had your own engagement party to attend, at least that’s what the logical side of your brain told you - your heart was wondering how long you would’ve been able to bear seeing Satoru love someone else.

It was all pointless now; the pure anger - almost seething hatred - in his eyes was enough to tell you he would never feel the same, the two of you will probably never even be on good terms again after this.

To your own disappointment your premonition had been right: when you showed up to class the very next day he had sat himself as far away from you as possible and didn’t even bother to look at you. When you try to reach him when the class is over he was already away from the entire campus.

“You look like a truck ran you over. Twice.”, she states, visibly concerned.

“Thanks.”, you reply sarcastically.

She steps closer towards you and wraps her arm around yours: “Wanna talk?”

“No, thanks.”, you shake your head, “I’ll talk it out with him first, when we’re both more collected.”

“I don’t know, babe. It seems bad, maybe waiting is the wrong solution.”, she raises her eyebrows contemplating, “I mean, you guys, no matter how bad, have never sat apart.”

You tense up even more than before: “I know.”

Several days pass after that, you had finally started to collect yourself; instead a comforting void in the former emotional chaos had ignited in you and you figured you were finally calm enough to reach out to Satoru and talk to him.

Just when he’d sit down in his seat you take up the spot next to him and the teacher immediately enters the classroom, although he doesn’t acknowledge your presence and immediately turns towards the blackboard you were determined - you needed to sort this out now or never.

“Satoru”, you whisper.

No response.

“Pss, Satoru.”

He gives you a side glance but turns back around.

“Satoru”, you stand up and the attention of the entire class is on you.

Now he genuinely looks at you - albeit he’s probably wondering if you had finally gone insane but you didn’t care.

You take out your hand and wait for him to take it so you can lead him outside. The teacher demands an explanation but he only gets a simple ‘sorry’ from you before you focus back on him.

“Please.”, you whisper, you felt desperate to fix this, you wanted everything to go back to normal so bad, even if that meant having to let him go to another woman.

He sighs and reluctantly gets up: “Excuse us, teach, we’ll be back before you know it.”, he doesn’t take your hand and walks out of the room, you awkwardly let your hand fall down and follow him. Impatiently he’s tapping his foot and almost looks like he could rip open your skull, you gulp - maybe he hasn’t cooled down yet.

You hadn‘t noticed before, probably because Satoru was never the one to actually get mad at you but right now - he was more intimidating than any curse you‘ve ever met and you felt like a defenseless little child standing in front of him, he towered over you, like always but the cold anger in his eyes made you feel so small, in a way you never felt before.

A part of you wanted to run away - let everything stay the same, ignore the storm but a bigger part inside of you knew, if you didn‘t speak up now the storm would never vanish and you’d be trapped in its chaos for eternity.

You take a deep breath and sigh: “I’m sorry, Satoru.”

“For what?”

It takes a few seconds to sort your thoughts - what were you sorry for? Him? Or yourself?

“For everything.”, you breathe out, “reacting the way I did, but also for agreeing to let you see her in the first place.”

He raises an eyebrow - he looks angrier than before and he immediately opens his mouth, probably to curse you out, but you hush him and plead with him to let you finish first.

“Look, it’s not because you’re seeing her or because I have feelings for you, it’s just-“, you bite your lip in frustration, “that relationship is going to be doomed from the start. Yes you’d be just boyfriend and girlfriend now but in a few years? How would you tell her that you can’t go any deeper because you’re already promised to someone else? It’s unfair and absolutely selfish to do that to her.”

“You have feelings for me?”, he repeated in confirmation, it seems like he still hasn’t processed your revelation.

Your eyes widen in surprise and for a second you almost curse yourself for letting it slip: “I thought you knew.”

He shakes his head and you’re ready to throw yourself out of any skyscraper; you briefly close your eyes and calm yourself down - it’s okay, so what if he knows, you try to reassure yourself.

For a second he seemed to have calmed down before the anger seemed to consume his facial features once again: “Why don’t you just say you can’t handle seeing me with someone else because you have feelings for me? Why make up all these other excuses?”

“Because it’s not-“

“Don't fool yourself, y/n. That’s exactly why.”

You grow more and more frustrated, yes you had feelings for him, but it also seemed like you were the only one rational enough to realize just how doomed his little “relationship” is, despite your feelings for him.

“No, Satoru. I’d never prioritize my dumb little feelings over your happiness because I have feelings for you.”

He chuckles sarcastically: ”Yeah, right. Then why don’t you just let me be happy for now. Before I’m chained down to you.”, you felt like puking, does he even realize how much his words hurt? “See, in the end, you will end up with me by your side anyways, I can’t escape it, let me enjoy being with someone I like.”

Right now it feels like he’s stabbing you with a knife over and over and you can’t help but think - he’s doing this on purpose. Be it out of anger or frustration or whatever else it may be, he wanted you to feel pain, that was his goal and god you wish you didn’t care for this bastard but you did and that would be your most likely downfall.

“You’re being a complete asshole right now.”, you say, your voice filled with exhaustion - you didn’t want to argue anymore nor care for him nor actually have anything to do with him, “look, I am sorry for going on about it like this and for hurting your feelings in the process, believe me, but I don’t think I deserve to be treated like this either.”, you shake your head, you hoped he’d finally understand where you’re coming from.

“Awww,” he coos exaggeratedly, “did I hurt your feelings?”, you scoff, how did you even like this man in the first place.

“Thanks for letting me know where I stand.”, you smile coldly, visibly uncomfortable, “I’ll kindly step out of your way now.”, you were done with this situation, you had spoken your mind and apologized but if he didn’t wish to fix things, you wouldn’t either.

The storm between the both of you had stilled, you went radio silent with one another, aside from the occasional mission you had together, in which you’d also just exchange the most basic necessities or the occasional family meetings where you two would go back to pretending you’re deeply infatuated with one another. It was complete radio silence between you guys - you weren’t gonna lie; you missed the playful banter, you missed him, but it wasn’t worth being hurt over and over.

Soon your second year passed and you had even reached the end of your third year; the elders had announced your engagement party - the skyscraper sounding once again as tempting as the waffles in front of you. Your mother, Satoru’s mother and you had gone out to buy an engagement dress and accessories for you and they really didn’t hold back.

They chose a beautiful white long backless dress ornamented with various pearls on the neckline and back, the sleeves were covered in lace and it was absolutely stunning, you had bought matching white high heels and got yourself french nails.

You knew this engagement party would be extravagant and the wedding would top that by at least 20 times but looking at the location you were absolutely stunned, it was beautiful and straight out of a fairy tale; the tables were decorated with white and lilac flower everywhere fairy lights were strung up, even a photo venue and the symbol of both of your clans were stitched into handkerchiefs meant as gifts for the guests - your moms had gone out of the way for this.

There’s a bittersweet taste in your mouth upon looking at the venue - it was beautiful but you wish you also had a just as beautiful bond to your soon to be fiancé. You sigh to yourself and thank the both of them for all their work before you take off to get your hair and make up done for the evening and get dressed.

When it’s 8pm Satoru rings the doorbell to pick you up; you give yourself one last look in the mirror to check if everything is alright then grab your purse and open the door hastily.

His eyes trail up and down your body - you thought you looked good but now you weren’t so sure anymore, not when you’re met with him in a dashing black suit that made him look absolutely handsome, for a second you wondered if you looked good enough for him and you had to refrain yourself. After all this time there’s a small part within you that still cares- longs for him - that always wants to know what he thinks of you and you doubt you’ll ever stop caring for him like that.

You try to refrain from nervously biting your lips, you want to ask him ‘how do I look?’ but the fear of rejection, of being hurt, stops you from asking exactly that, instead you simply nod at him as a form of greeting and close the door behind you.

You shakily whisper: “Let’s go.”, you didn’t even bother looking at him and simply made your way towards the car and stepped inside, not waiting for him.

The car ride is silent, which is a huge contrast to the booming cluster of conversations inside the engagement location. When you two enter side by side, Satoru uncomfortably close to you, his hand at your lower back, the guests are silent for a second before everyone cheers loudly and you smile at everyone gracefully - maybe if you acted good enough you might actually start feeling that way.

“Y/n, Satoru, come, let‘s take pictures!“, your mother grabs the both of you and drags you to the photo venue; she was brimming with excitement and you smile to yourself - at least her happiness is worth the sorrow.

She forces the two of you into several poses, Satoru looks visibly annoyed and you have to pinch his side; you give him a pointed look and try to get rid of that scowl on his face. How would this seem authentic if he‘s frowning in all of the pictures that are probably going to be hung up everywhere in both of your houses. He briefly looks at you before he shakes his head and seems to put himself together and a smile reappears on his face and your breath stills - his smile is fake but nonetheless his beauty couldn‘t be any more real.

Suddenly Satoru‘s mother pops between you guys and scolds the both of you: “How can we have engagement pictures when there’s at least 5 inches of space between you?”, she pushes you closer to each other to the point your shoulder hits his chest and you do your best to not take a step back away from him.

“Come on, guys!”, your mother yells, visibly annoyed at the lack of romantic affection between you, “a kiss or two hasn’t hurt anyone.”, ‘yet’ you add mentally and groan.

“Come on, mom. It’s embarrassing.”, you grumbled and give desperate look at Satoru who had a tinge of amusement glinting in his eyes, “we don’t do PDA.”

“It’s your engagement!”, she sighs and gives you a pleading look and you breathe out in defeat.

You feel Satoru’s chest rumble in your back and he chuckles deeply: “Well, let’s give our dear mothers what they want, don’t we?”

You almost do a double take - Who are you and what have you done to Gojo Satoru? Before he wouldn’t even look at you and now he’s willing to kiss you? It felt so surreal to the point you don’t even realize that you guys had been facing one another and Satoru was waiting for your response.

The nod you give him is so subtle, you aren’t even sure he saw it until he starts to lean in and you are absolutely sure you are going to freak out. The huge space in this hall suddenly wasn’t enough, your breathing was starting to become uneven and you wanted to push him away, you needed the distance and yet your body was acting completely different. It was leaning closer towards him until your lips finally meet one another.

Kissing Gojo Satoru was one of the last things you expected to do tonight but here you were. His hands softly grab your face and you lean in even closer into him. Despite his soft hands there was a certain rough touch into the kiss - it’s like he put in all of his anger, hatred for and at you in it and it was addicting to say the least. A bridge inside you broke and you were falling deep into the river and drowning in your feelings and yearning.

When you two finally part it feels like mere seconds passed but your heavy breathing suggests otherwise. The two of you just keep staring at one another, you feared that if you broke the eye contact everything would go back to the way it was before, so you remain silent; the warm tone of the fairy lights being the only thing surrounding you.

Faint laughter seems to finally break the bubble you have created and you step back in shock; the realization of what just happened finally dawned on you.

“Excuse me.”, you push yourself away from him and step out of the venue; you needed to collect yourself and you can’t do that with Satoru around.

The cold air hits your burning cheeks and you finally seem to calm down now the only thing filling your head was confusion - Satoru confused you. He went from hating you to radio silence to kissing you; yes, it was because you guys were urged to do so but he could’ve also simply rejected them. You close your eyes for a brief second and sigh to yourself - men. There was no point in dwelling and overthinking this in a few minutes he’ll either go back to ignoring you or being an asshole.

A jacket suddenly appears on top of your shoulder and you flinch back in surprise.

“It’s cold.”

“Thanks.”, you smile at Satoru and wrap his jacket even tighter around you.

He smiles back and you have to wonder just why he is out here with you, when he could be enjoying a glass of wine inside.

As if Satoru could read your mind he chuckles and runs a hand through his hair: “I know we haven’t been on the greatest terms the past few years.”

“You don’t say.”, you reply sarcastically and he rolls his eyes in response.

“It’s just, I’m a fool, y/n. Unsure of what he wants and feels and I’m sorry for dragging you down into my pile of bullshit.”, you didn’t know what to say, how to go about this - this pulling and dragging between the both of you, you were tired of it.

“You might be unsure of what you feel, Satoru, but for someone who claims to hate me he sure was into the kiss.”, you point out as a matter of fact, you two kissed each other in there like you both had been each other's lifeline.

He chuckles: “Yeah, I might feel a little more than just hatred for you.”

“A little?”, you frown.

“More than a little.”, he grins, “but I can’t believe you haven't moved on already.”

You scoff and he looks at you so sure of himself and you can’t help but shake your head while laughing.

He stares at you and you awkwardly stop laughing: “What?”

He looked sorry: “How can I make it up to you?”

“How about you start with kissing me and we’ll figure out the rest.”, you grin at him and once again you’re ready to open your heart to the man in front of you.

“I can work with that.”, he grins before grabbing you by the arms and pulling you closer towards him, your lips colliding - you could get used to this type of remedy.

[matchibee]

Say My Name

short but I intend on adding more. this is more of an intro, if anything. an idea that's been stuck in my head and refusing to leave.

"Hey! Wait up!"

Gojo's voice pierced your eardrums, invading every sense of reason permeating through your mind. It was meant to be a simple day, spending time training with your students, teaching them feats you'd wished you'd learned in your youth -- Gojo unfortunately one of your previous classmates, the pair of you attached to the hip following such trying times.

Well, he was attached to your hip. You simply carried forward, doing your best to break free of his infatuation, to push unprofessional thoughts aside in the pursuit of your career.

"Gojo." You spoke his surname with a huff of breath, closing your book shut, looking up at him with an impassive expression. "I didn't realize you'd be back so soon."

In truth you felt relief was over you, the impossible thoughts that plagued your mind in the dead of the night leaving you awake with anxiety. He had a tendency to forego contact when on a mission, entirely MIA despite any effort of reaching out. Eventually, you'd had to come to terms with the fact he wouldn't return your texts and calls until he'd concluded his task.

It only made your anxiety worse.

He embraced you around your shoulders, squeezing tightly. "You know it's impossible for me to stay away from you for long. How can I leave my darling friend to lie awake in our bed? I can only imagine the torment you must feel when I'm away!"

You roll your eyes at his words, pressing the hardcover of your book against his chest, creating a distance between the two of you. "Our rooms are separate."

"I can change that."

You pushed him away with an immense amount of force, his body fumbling beneath your touch.

He always allowed his infinity to falter around you, craving your touch. To feel you in your entirety, nothing to disrupt your warmth. It didn't matter how fleeting the touch; how long it remained was not a matter for him.

What mattered was that it was you.

"Gojo, I really can't talk right now." You huffed, looking down at your watch, cringing at the time. As it was you were already on track to be late, and with your friend's most recent interruption, it wouldn't be long until that was set in stone. "I promised the First-Years I'd train them, you know how Itadori gets when--"

"Why do you call me that?"

Gojo's lips were a pouty mess, shimmering with that gloss you knew for a fact he'd slather on his lips when nobody was looking.

"Call you what?"

"Gojo. Why do you call me Gojo?"

"That's your name."

By now he'd given you infinite permissions to forego his surname, to call him by that which was given. Satoru. Forever and always your Satoru, a fact he knew in his heart, even if memories previous to you would flood his mind in the dead of the night.

"Not to you." Gojo tutted, snatching your book from between your fingers, holding it high above his head. "You know what you have to say if you want this back."

You crossed your arms over your chest. "I don't have time for this."

"That's not what you said last night." He lifted his bandana, iceberg eye closing into a wink.

"Last night you weren't even here!"

There were moments where you couldn't help if Gojo's words made your heart skip a beat, if you imagined him with his arms wrapped around you in the late hours of the night, praying the mornings wouldn't strip him away from you for yet another mission. In such little time you'd lost so much, forced to grieve friends you believed would persist alongside you to this day.

Geto was supposed to be a teacher alongside you, but he'd lost his way, and in the process you lost everything you'd ever loved -- a friendship forged in admiration, undying love flowing from each and every one of you. Shoko had become distant, and you couldn't blame her, though you did your best to remind her through thick and thin you'd still remain.

Gojo was more complicated, more vocal in his efforts. For all he was worth you could only see what he lacked. What he lacked was the spark he had in Geto's presence, that affinity for life lost alongside his best friend.

It wasn't fair.

You couldn't lose him too, couldn't stand to watch another person you love lost to their mind, lost to death. You'd buried too many friends for one lifetime, that which remained would stay as it was in an effort to conserve its integrity.

"Y'know," Gojo's voice dipped into a whisper, book slowly faltering from its position above his head. "Everything I've ever said, all the things I've done..."

You snapped your fingers, clicking your tongue. "Gojo, stop."

"Satoru."

"There can't be anything between us, not the way you want it to be."

"You always say this," You could tell Gojo was approaching a breaking point. Soon the force you pushed up against him, that impossible wall you built, would have to crumble or risk crumbling him. "But you've never given me a proper explanation as to why."

"You know why." In the midst of his vulnerability you'd taken the opportunity to snatch your book from between his fingers, holding it close to you as you tried to push the sensation of fingers brushing out of your mind.

You pushed away how badly you yearned for more.

"I know you're scared," Gojo's voice cracked as though his mind and body had fought for the right to speak, lost in his delusion. "You've made that much clear. But you don't have to be, not with me! I'm the strongest, you have nothing to fear."

You shook your head, brushing stray hairs from in front of your face, entirely exhausted from just a moment's interaction. "It's inappropriate for us to even dance the line of the idea that we could..." Your voice trailed off, Gojo quick to finish your sentence, to appear in front of you in his majesty, palms clasped around your wrists.

"That we could be together?"

You pulled away, shaking your head, the thoughts that ran rampant within them. Your heart was beating a million miles a second, threatening to burst within your chest, and your stomach burned with butterflies fluttering to their own beat.

"You're just a friend, Gojo. You've always been a friend, the best friend."

"That's not enough for me."

"There's nothing I can do to change that."

[ddarker-dreams]

Lock has finally fall down into the gojo rabbit hole!!! , i was also surprise that u also like geto too tho i dont blame you theirs a reason why hes much more popular with the ladies than gojo lol also im excited for the release of golden girl!!! another fanfic series to binge ever since nexus is already finished 😭😭 im so excited for mc's relationship with gojo and geto!!! and lets not forget her friendship with shoko and her mother and son relationship with megumi 🥹🥹🥹

i'm fighting for my life down here in the gojo rabbit hole ...... i cannot crawl out of this pit no matter how hard i try. he kicks me back down whenever i near the surface.

for the longest time, i didn't see the appeal in geto, but gojo's past arc changed my mind. it also made me think there was a lot more that could've been explored with his character? the :) protect the weak to 🐵🚫 pipeline felt sorta jarring. i could still follow it and his reasoning enough for it not to be immersion breaking, but the reality of non-sorcerers being the only catalysts for curses to exist feels like such an interesting concept...

MCs relationships with the different characters is probably my favorite part of the fic, especially in her late 20s era. the students see how close gojo and MC are just kinda. squint. they ask megumi how this came to be like he isn't as equally perplexed over it as they are. MC is the type you easily gravitate to, whereas most deliberately go out of their way to avoid gojo.

some tidbits on MC's relationship with other members of the cast:

nanami thought she was annoying when they first met, but soon learned that surprisingly, she's one of the more reliable upperclassmen. later on when they're adults, he admits he declined most of her offers to hang out because he knew gojo would be in the vicinity.

her and shoko had matching my melody and kuromi keychains for their phones during their high school years.

megumi barely talked to/acknowledged her existence when they first met. similar to nanami, he found her upbeat nature annoying GJSKLDF it wasn't until she was sent on a three week long job that he realized maybe she isn't so bad. at least she makes tasty food and gets along well with tsumiki. he considers MC a decent enough role model in everything except her romantic life.

she gets along with maki surprisingly well. out of all the big three sorcerer families, the zenins are the only ones MC actively dislikes. her cursed technique is useful when it comes to training others, so they often spar together.

[basically-an-anime-stan-acct]

JJK CHAPTER 221 SPOILER AHEAD ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

If you haven’t read the chapter yet BEWARE!

A couple thoughts here—

Firstly, I love how unserious Gojo is being right now. Like insulting the hell outta Sukuna and even Kenjaku at the same time lmao. ☠️

Secondly— I’m not saying when Gojo thought to himself “I came all this way to give Suguru’s body a proper burial.” That I cried… but I’m also not saying I didn’t.

[neonscandal]

Manga With Me: Obscure Head Canons (and Hypotheses) You’d Probably Develop When Reading the JJK Light Novels, Pt 2

Same as before, hypotheses at the end in case you want to keep it light and tight!

Part One

⚠️ Spoiler Warning for Jujutsu Kaisen Thorny Road at Dawn and season 2 of the anime (manga spoilers are vague at best).

Head Canon: The Moral High Ground is Going to Cost You

There's something to be said for sorcerers who operate in secret, careful to not evoke chaos with the existence of their strength and power and that of curses. Moreso when, in the heat of battle, they still factor in the greater good and weigh it against those in immediate danger. We saw it in Shibuya as Gojo used his technique in the presence of countless civilians which still came at a great cost to them. He was a bit more cavalier but the first story focused on Inumaki and his monk-like discipline to never use words carelessly lest he curse those around him.

Curses and curse users are shown to be morally impudent and his careful existence is juxtaposed by a curse user with a similar technique who employs it freely and without giving it a second thought as he tries to capture and subsequently traffick Nobara. Even when backed into a corner, Inumaki is taking hits to avoid accidentally causing harm to Nobara and it does him no favors. This is obviously indicative of a larger theme we see wherein the primary antagonists of JJK are regularly seen frolicking on the beach, playing soccer, playing board games, etc. Meanwhile, the limited stock of sorcerers are regularly having their asses handed to them for the sake of doing the right thing. Another stunning example of this is Nanami Kento when compared directly to Mei Mei.

Head Canon: Perhaps, More Specifically, Emotional Ties to Others Are Going to Cost You

What's funny about this is the fact that this is shown multiple times in a novel that only has five stories. We've already seen it countless times in the anime/manga:

JJK 0 - Yuta's inability to part with Rika curses her.

Season 1 - Megumi saves Yuji or vice versa and it brings about Sukuna and the killing curse upon Tsumiki.

Season 1 - Junpei's mother is used as his breaking point just as Junpei himself is used as leverage against Yuji.

Season 2 - There's something to be said about Riko Amanai and the hopelessness and turmoil her death inspires, whether you want to say Geto was emotionally tied to her or not.

Season 2 - In the story's biggest reveal, we come to realize that Gojo's inability to properly dispose of Geto's body creates a vulnerability Kenjaku is able to exploit.

While the story with Inumaki also ties into this, I think his relationship with Nobara is more proximal and subsequently, his story more or less shows that he is earnest regardless of whose safety is on the line. Emotion being a sliding scale and all, it makes sense that Mechamaru's story is the best example of how, even when there wasn't a physical risk to him, he was still grappling with how best to win a fight against another shikigami user. Mechamaru is uniquely qualified for the fight since his robot body is the only thing that can go into a gas infused curtain. While this is another example of technique matchups, ultimately, it's a far better insight into Mechamaru's presumed pragmatism when weighed against his affection for Miwa. He'd rather potentially gamble a strategic loss than jeopardize a friendship bracelet she'd given him. As for it's impact on the larger story, this heat of the moment desperation to maintain this connection to Miwa is perhaps what later inspires him to be greedier down the line in seeking a new body from Ken!Geto and Mahito and... we see how that turned out.

Head Canon: Gojo is Far More Sentimental Than His Flippancy Suggests

Gojo is constantly on his bull shit. The duality of the strongest sorcerer capable of processing everything who is constantly spouting Digimon references, binging sugary sweets and asking about his colleague's kink satisfaction is my favorite thing, honestly. Gojo cavalierly addresses his responsibilities as a sorcerer, one could argue he's kind of a bad teacher, but he goes out of his way to protect people even if his manner is rude. He point blank told Ijichi to not become a sorcerer lest he be killed which was disrespectful as hell but... the man had a point. Ijichi falls under the purview of Gojo's concern (whether that be as his once kohai or given how useful he is to him now, I won't say) and Gojo pulls strings to make sure that he too is taken care of. Ijichi, the backbone of operations at Jujutsu Tokyo carries that weight unyieldingly because he assumes "it's the least he can do" even though we know that managers actually pave the way for a lot of the goings on in jujutsu society. It's a symbiotic relationship but Ijichi carries every loss, like Yuji's death on a mission, excruciatingly personally. To the point where it wears him down. In the last book, we saw that, following Geto's defection, Gojo recognizes the delicate nature of a person's heart. It's why he entrusts Yuji's mentorship to Nanami. What's interesting about all of this is, if he can see Ijichi's stress and exhaustion, how did he miss Geto's? Maybe that's a burden he also carries. Ironically, I think this harsh way of caring for others is maybe the way of the sorcerers because we see it with Megumi and Nobara in how they treat Yuji.

Head Canon: There's an Obvious Sacrifice of Youth in Jujutsu Society But There's Also Nowhere for Girlhood to Exist

With what we don't see of Mai in the main story, the story that centers on her deciding to go against orders and take on a curse much stronger than her is actually so heartbreaking? Let's start off with the fact that she chose to unnecessarily exorcise a flyhead which is ultimately what forges a connection between her and Yuu, a girl who later became a window for sorcerers. Seems like a small task considering Mai's relative competency but as the story progresses, we get a deep insight into the fact that, the terror Mai had for curses as a kid is still alive and well within her. Whether she can defend herself or not, she is still fearful but she pushes forward "alone" because that's the only choice Maki left her with.

What's interesting about Mai and the Kyoto students is, 1) the sheer volume/concentration of female students compared to Tokyo and, 2) their propensity to attack as a group with the exception of Todo. In JJK 0, Maki remarked that those who are weak tend to have to stick together. I don't mention this as an assessment of the relative strength of Miwa, Nishimoto or Mai (especially since I still think Miwa will get a power up). But this story demonstrates their pack mentality when they were just idling in a cafe like students should but even in not allowing Mai to go after Yuu alone. Their success was because of their reliance on one another but, from what we've seen in Shibuya and what's to come in the culling games... that doesn't bode well for fighters who can't defend on their own.

Mai is a product of one of the big 3 jujutsu families, the Zenin clan being incredibly misogynistic to boot. As such, she is still downtrodden and runs the risk of being admonished even when fulfilling duties in line with what a sorcerer should do. She (and the other girls) are damned if they do and damned if they don't. Additionally, I assume the Kyoto school's tendency to fight as a group is from the influence of Gakuganji (which leads me to think Gojo might be pushing his students a bit more recklessly for the sake of making them stronger). But where there are many characters, specifically adults, who have an outright desire to protect their childhood, I think it's interesting that Mai, Miwa and Nishimoto are doing all they can to hang onto whatever sense of girlhood they can muster. It makes them catty and they seem to espouse some misogynistic ideals of what girls should look like and be but the basis of it is still desperately grasping at something that keeps them soft in the face of terror which, in their own mind, is probably a rebellion to what they know. That and, I think Mai is hyper aware of her weakness. That coupled with her dissatisfaction as a sorcerer ultimately later guides her steps in the resolution of her character arc.

Hypothesis: There's a Reason Gojo is Always Pondering the Figures and Politics of Periods Long Gone

I frequently question what goes on in the mind of Satoru Gojo. He has, for all intents and purposes, all the time in the world to process and compute all the mysteries of the universe. Instead, he asks his coworkers about whether they're caught up on Jump Comics at bars. He's so unserious. But at the same time, he'll immediately follow this silliness with a deep cut like -

"Our precious present rests atop the deeds of our forebears." - Gojo Satoru

He absolutely gets clowned for his random pop culture references and, any time he calls upon a historical reference (of which he seems to be really knowledgeable about), it seems shocking to most of those around him (Shoko notwithstanding). The girls who get it know that Gojo is just as traumatized as Geto. He's just traumatized ✨🤪 where Geto is traumatized 🔪. So this veneer of goofiness belies what is ultimately a really contemplative person and one who holds a clear grievance against jujutsu elders. We know that Gojo telling Megumi about their ancestors locked in battle is obviously something that becomes a critical plot point later (hello, Sukuna showdown which we're not getting into here). It told Megumi he could have power that rivals Gojo's but it was also critical exposition for us as readers. We've also seen that Yuta, a distant, distant Gojo relative is similarly OP and this was established by his ancient connection to Gojo as well. Again, critical exposition into how things fall together when Gojo is no longer on the board. But what I'm hypothesizing is... suppose Gojo had tangential knowledge of Kenjaku this whole time? Kenjaku was clearly wary of Gojo, for good reason, but was Gojo already aware of the existence of the body snatcher? What a reveal that would be.

Hypothesis: There Are Bad Match-Ups But The Best Way To Beat a Cursed User Is With A Stronger Version Of Their Own Technique

So this isn't a comprehensive hypothesis since I know it's only half true. Por ejemplo, in the first two stories Inumaki fought a cursed speech user and Mechamaru fought a shikigami user. The victorious combatants happened to have stronger versions of the shared technique (and maybe a strategic edge). This, of course, lends to the idea that the resolution to this story may lay in the hands of Yuta Okkotsu. Okkotsu can summon immeasurable cursed energy and copy techniques. Who's gonna check him? BUT, in reality, we also know that there are also, canonically bad matchups. For instance, Yuji and Nobara are bad matchups for Mahito - Yuji's soul is protected in a sense and Nobara's technique allows her to strike spilled blood or discarded limbs/extensions of one's body to injure the main body.

We know Sukuna, at this point, is the big bad that will require taking down but we don't know how at this point. Nobara would of course be helpful given the still outstanding fingers but is tentatively off the board for now (this is a hill I will die on). But, are there other allies who haven't been revealed that will help in taking Sukuna down or will it all come down to Yuta? At this point, Gege wrote themselves into a box they are trying to course correct with the in universe power scale but I'm curious how things will fall.

What do you think? There's a fifth story that is super heartwarming and too sad to write about given the conclusion of season 2 so go read the novel for yourself and let me know your thoughts!

[gojosbf]

One thing I find a little sad is that how Geto's death affected Shoko and Saturo's friendship a lot, you know, you feel empty when they're together, there's something missing there. you see how much geto is missed by shoko and especially gojo With geto's death do you feel a significant change in satura and shoko, what do you think? sorry for the text

You've said it yourself anon it did effect shoko and satoru. Shoko was closer to suguru (he came to meet only her after being listed as wanted sorcerer) and obviously satoru and suguru were always together before that and that's why there was something missing a vacant gap between them after suguru's death, because both of them first bonded over due to their common friendship with suguru. Both of them technically had each other and obviously no one can break their friendship but as they say there's always a duo in a trio that was their breaking deal. This panel here makes it clearer

clearly she loved them both equally and tried to be there for both of them but satoru was so swallowed up in grief he did not notice, he was yet again ignoring his another best friend. Even though unknowingly there were bitter feelings because shoko felt left out and gojo felt like he was alone now. It's difficult to explain but i understand both of their povs you know? shoko definitely deserved better, she was there she was trying, she was grieving too but what made it worse for her was gojo never stopped to consider he could lean on her (again one of his weaknesses that i mentioned before he doesn't know how to depend on people). They're still great friends (that shoko's big smile panel to gojo's unsealing and him talking to her first after coming back) they're still close but there will always be a link missing, the one who was the reason they first bonded over.

Also unrelated but talking about this reminded me why i hated gojo's death, because during suguru's death we atleast got the aftermath and present reaction but you're telling me after gojo was cut into half there was no reaction worthy of even one panel? Shoko was there worried and watching, her another best friend dying and not even a single panel, really gege???

[beanghostprincess]

Omg you like SatoSugu and Soukoku too? I’ve GOTTA hear your thoughts on them

If I start talking about my relationship with these two ships I might actually end up sobbing while I write this- But basically, both Soukoku and Satosugu are really important to me because the whole dynamic of "best friends to enemies who still have feelings for each other" reminds me of something that happened to me with my former best friend. Which is, uh, not pleasant to talk about but we had a very nasty break up and I think it's a very common experience. Somebody said something once (in my post about Shuggy making more sense if they were girls) about these ships always resembling friendships between sapphics that don't know they're sapphics yet, which changed my whole view on these three ships completely because oh lord, that person was so damn right. Because it's the possessiveness of it all, you know? Like- Being close to your best friend, so much it hurts to see them with other people and so much it's frightening to think about a world without them. You have so many feelings about this person that you can't quite place and you can't put a name to, but it's more than a friendship and it's not romantic love either. And it makes more sense being a closeted sapphic because you don't accept it might probably be love until the friendship ends in a very nasty and toxic way and then you keep resenting that person forever.

I am kind of traumadumping here, lmfao, but basically I really like these three ships because they treat this dynamic in very different ways and I am a sucker for them. The angst is immaculate and I'll never get tired of them.

I like Soukoku for a lot of reasons, BSD being my favorite manga of all time and everything. Dazai meets Chuuya when he doesn't have any reason to live but keeps working for the mafia nevertheless because Chuuya is interesting enough to keep being alive. Because perhaps that's what Dazai has been looking for. And Chuuya, well- He has mixed feelings for Dazai but his loyalty is unmatched and that's both his best and worst trait (we see that constantly, poor boy). Dazai is still, after everything, his partner. They need each other, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. They're basically canonically soulmates, at this point, and you don't even need to ship them to acknowledge it because it's just that obvious. Chuuya is the only one able to keep Dazai wanting to live and Dazai is quite literally the only one with the ability to stop Chuuya from losing control. They really are made for each other. It makes me go completely insane. The whole thing about Chuuya not being a human but being the most human and empathetic person of the mafia, and Dazai saying he isn't worthy of being called human but being physically one? That's just insane. And I could talk for hours about them and write a deeper analysis of their relationship, but I'd never finish this post, then.

Then, Satosugu. They make me equally insane. They were best friends. They were so damn close. And Gojo loved him so much that he couldn't stop Geto when he turned his back on him and walked away to become what he is now. It's just so heartbreaking, losing someone like that and all of a sudden. We see Geto losing himself over the years and falling into desperation and emptiness and Gojo not noticing until it's just too late to do anything. That's Gojo's weak spot. He's the most powerful sorcerer and dude can't fight his ex best friend because "there's no curse more twisted than love". That fucked me up completely, honestly. Gojo is such a complex character, growing up so quickly and with so many expectations, not being able to enjoy his teenage years either because they stole them from him like this. And Geto ending up all alone too, turning into just a vessel of vengeance. Like- Shit is too deep to explain it in just a tumblr post, but they make me go insane.

And Shuggy is basically the same thing but at least these two have the chance to make up and reunite at some point. Shuggy is the one that feels more realistic to me, honestly, because it genuinely feels only like a normal falling out between best friends (that definitely were something more) rather than this complicated poetic mix of metaphors and poems. These two were just kids when all of this happened, too, it makes me so ill. But I have a whole post talking about Shuggy too, so I don't think I need to explain why I like them.

TL;DR: These ships are definitely for the sapphics who had THAT best friend and had very strong feelings toward them but didn't know why, and years after a very nasty break up that still haunts them to this day they realized it was a bit more than just a friendship.

[kentosovertime]

𝕖𝕔𝕔𝕖𝕕𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕤𝕕𝕚𝕒𝕤𝕥; (n.) someone who only pretends to smile

𝕤𝕪𝕟𝕠𝕡𝕤𝕚𝕤… when geto and gojo grow apart, resulting in their break up, gojo finds friendship and belonging with you and when geto returns he decides he wants you for himself 𝕚𝕟𝕗𝕠… 3.5k wc, college!au series, satosugu, geto x gojo x afab!reader, explicit content and language, includes themes of manipulation, jealousy, angst, spiteful behavior, etc. toxic friendships, emotionally constipated men, mentions of alcohol, exhibitionism, voyeurism, heavy petting 𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣… reblogs and likes are appreciated 𝕥𝕒𝕘𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥… send me an ask (link) if you want to be tagged

𝕤𝕖𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕤 𝕞𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥 | 𝕞𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥 | 𝕥𝕒𝕘 𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥 | 𝕒𝕤𝕜 𝕓𝕠𝕩

Geto finds himself taking a deep breath as he walks up to the door to the cafe. He had dreaded the end of his internship. Not because he was going to miss working there, but because it was the one added thing in his schedule that kept him away from home, away from having to watch Satoru look like a wounded puppy when he couldn’t do anything to help him anymore. The separation was his idea. 

And he selfishly wanted to keep Satoru close, even if it caused them pain, even if it was awkward. He believes that eventually they’d be able to learn how to be around each other, but for now, he was just so fucking angry at Satoru for not waiting for him. That he had the audacity to mope around like he was still dealing with his feelings for him. 

He had to watch him religiously scroll through dating profile matches over his sugary breakfast cereal when he wasn’t busy hiding in his room, waiting for Geto to leave. If he was going to be subjected to walking into the apartment that he helps pay for in the rare instance he is home, only to be greeted by Satoru’s pert ass ramming into some random, overly enthusiastic moaner he’d snap. He was over being an unwilling voyeur in the mind games he plays with himself, wanting to be put out of his damn misery. 

No one had noticed him walk in yet where they had tucked themselves away in the furthest corner of the store. His gaze easily finds Satoru, gravitating to him automatically out of habit, but the sight that was presented to him was anything but the pouting martyr he got used to over the last couple of weeks. 

He leans towards you with such a soft look in his eyes, his face smooth, without the stress that causes the bags under his eyes. The softness has just the faintest hint of interest and fondness, reminding him of the nights they used to sit together through the early morning hours in high school, talking about anything and everything.

Geto used to be on the receiving end of that look. But you look clueless, smiling and joking with him like you do with Shoko who’s sitting across from the two of you, totally unaware of his affection. You must be that new friend he’s mentioned a few times as his best friend. He had to admit that you holding that title hurt, but he had a hard time holding onto that when you’re so damn cute. No wonder Satoru was so besotted with you. 

He sees you nod enthusiastically at Satoru before he disappears in the direction of the bathroom. Seeing you sitting there all by yourself has him itching to sit next to you. Maybe you’d like it if someone actually appreciated you enough to give you the attention you deserved.

He thinks he’ll just try to keep you for himself.  It’s only an added plus that he gets to take something from Satoru after he caused so much pain and suffering.  

“Hey.” He hums low, putting on his best smirk as he approaches the couch, sitting close as he swings an arm over the back of the couch to be closer to you. 

“Oh hey, shithead. Nice of you to finally show your face.” Soko rolls her eyes, already smelling trouble brewing, but she thinks it might be fun to watch the ensuing chaos. “This is (y/n). I don’t think you’ve met.” 

“I haven’t had the pleasure.” He turns and practically purrs the words at you, cocking his head to the side with a slow smile, watching as a light pink flush stains the high points of your cheeks. “Its nice to finally put a face to the name, angel.” 

“Oh- uh-” You take a deep breath and gently shut the book you had on your lap, rotating to face him and give him your full attention. His eyes quickly dip to your lips when your tongue pops out to lick them, recovering your composure quickly. “Same. ‘Toru’s told me so much about you.” 

‘Toru? How cute. Geto wonders if you’d give him a cute nickname too.

“Oh boy, I hope he wasn’t too brutal.” He chuckles and leans his head on his hand propped on the back of the couch. “I should at least be able to defend myself to his gorgeous best friend before you pass any judgment.” 

Your cheeks stain darker this time, but you keep the rest of your composure, remembering that you’re used to shameless flirting from Gojo fucking around with you so often. It’s just so different coming from Geto’s mouth instead. It feels hotter, deeper. Like he’s lighting a fire inside of you on purpose and fanning it into an inferno with his dark gaze.

“Only good things, I promise.” You assure a bit breathlessly, knowing that they had a nasty breakup last year at some point but Satoru had assured you that, while the relationship hadn’t worked, he was still a great friend to everyone. 

“Thank god.” He lets out a dramatic breath, pulling a chuckle from you. “I’d hate for any preconceived notions to get in the way of you saying yes to hanging out later.” 

“Oh, we’re already friends?” You tease, loving how forward and friendly he was, all while he teases you and can take it in return.

“Of course,” he hums low, thinking that you’re going to be much more than friends. You’re more adorable than he thought. “I’m out of class for the day and Satoru said you love books. Ever been to the book bar around the corner?”

“No.” Your eyes lighten in excitement, your head perking up at the mention of the place. “I’ve been dying to go but its not Shoko’s scene and ‘Toru said books are for nerds.” 

You snort in amusement, knowing Satoru was just being dramatic. 

“Kento hasn’t offered to go with you?” He jokes, gauging your interest in the other men you probably hang out with often. 

“Oh god no,” You roll your eyes in exasperation, clearly Kento was a soft topic right now, but he didn’t know why. “He’s “too busy” to come out and party with us, even for his 20th birthday party! Wait!” 

His eyebrow quirks up in confusion as you gasp and start inspecting his arms, poking one in curiosity. 

“You could totally manhandle him. Listen, I’m going to need you to help me do something morally ambiguous and possibly illegal.” You rush to explain, totally not thinking of how hard the muscles in his arms were. “But Kento will thank us for throwing him in a trunk when he has an amazing time at his party.”

“Manhandle?” His eyes darken just a tad as he reaches for your thigh, placing his hand on it as his body begs him to know what your skin feels like. “Interesting word choice… but I’m experienced in that. I’ll help if you go to that book bar with me this evening. My treat.” 

“I… Sure. If you promise to help.” You gulp audibly and your eyes dart nervously, not meeting his eyes as he thumb passes under the hem of your skirt with soothing swipes.  As you look away from his intense gaze, Geto sees you catch sight of Satoru, carrying a cinnamon roll. “‘Toru! Thank you, bestie.” 

Satoru smirks at you as you make excited grabby hands at the plate he was holding, and Geto has to bite the inside of his cheek as you moan at the taste. 

“No problem, you fucking gremlin.” Geto fights the urge to swat Satoru’s hand away from where he affectionately pats the top of your head, his eye twitching in annoyance. “You getting along with Mr. Tighass over here?”

Geto can see the tension in shoulders, feel the accusing glare on his face as he forces you to scoot over on the couch to accommodate his form, but jokes on him. It forces you to sit with your bare thigh pressed against Geto. 

“Of course she is. I’m a pleasure to be around.” Geto shoots him a playful smirk as he leans back against the couch, relaxing because he has both of them right where he needs them. 

“He’s going to bring me to that bookstore with the bar in it after this.” Geto watches you, his heart skipping a bit when you convey your excitement for the plans directly to Satoru. He watches as you twist to look for his reaction, your cheeks pink again. And fuck does he love that he put that there. 

‘Oh? Hot date?” Satoru’s tone is even but Geto knows enough to see the meaning behind the teasing tone he throws at you. Geto can see the panic in his eyes. 

That’s right, Satoru. Game on.

He listens to you stammer out a “no” and he can’t help but chuckle that you didn’t take the hint. He should have been more direct, especially where you seemed to not see Satoru’s interest in you. 

“Damn. I thought I was pretty obvious about it.” Geto reaches out and gently thumbs your cheek as he watches the pulse in your neck pickup. “You already said yes, don’t break my heart.”

“I.. Y-you’re sure?” You stammer and he’s fighting the urge to shove all of this in Satoru’s dismayed face. Honestly, what did he expect would happen? If it wasn’t Geto who swept you off your feet some random shit bag would instead. Then he would be in the same position as he is now. He should have realized you were desperate for someone to give you this sort of attention. “I could be crazy, you know.”

“Oh, I know you are if you’re friends with that.” He nods his head over at Satoru with a devious little smirk. “Good thing I don’t mind crazy, baby.”

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

“They have so much shit in here.” You say in hushed awe, taking his hand and pulling him to the shelf of your favorite genre. Geto watches as you study the selection with furrowed brows. 

“What are these even about?” He laughs and picks up the nearest one, his brows rise into his hairline as he reads a passage that he flipped to randomly, which happened to be a smutty passage to one of your favorite reads of last year. 

“Is that the one where he’s using the gun?” You ask in amusement. God, you loved seeing men’s reactions to a good smutty novel, it was rather telling. If he was going to turn up his nose you’d go home. 

“It is…? Is he fucking her with it?” He scans the pages and the characters certainly are. God you’re shameless and he thinks he’s in love already. “God damn. You’re using our first date to show me smutty books?” 

“You’re the one who insisted on buying them for me.” You playfully push his shoulder, pulling his attention from the novel he was actually making an effort to read for you. “You may as well know what your money is being used for.” 

“I’ll get you as many of these as you want, hun.” How was he already in over his head with this girl? Gorgeous, sassy, smart, and a freak under all of it? “But… I’m going to need to borrow your favorites. Just for science.” 

He wants to know everything about you. How you tick, what he can use to make you unravel for him. Maybe you’d allow him a demonstration to test out his new knowledge.

“You actually want to read them?” He doesn’t like the guarded tone in your voice. Had someone not appreciated your hobbies in the past?

“Of course.” Geto smiles, warm and genuine. “I… really like you and I want to know more about you.” 

He trailed after you as the two of you nursed a few alcoholic beverages while he held the books you wanted to buy, listening to all the answers you gave to his questions. What’s your major? Where did you grow up? What’s your favorite color?

You insisted that he only buy you two out of the stack of ten, saying that you’ll cover the rest. Geto didn’t waste the opportunity that presented itself and you needed to go to the restroom. When you returned, he already had another drink waiting for you next to the shopping bag full of your books with a receipt on the top. 

Geto pulled out a book you bought while he waited for you, using the internet to tell him which chapters were the spiciest so he could take mental notes. 

“I told you not to!” You pout cutely, your hands on your hips as he places a bookmark into the pages filled with lewd sentences to give you an innocent look that doesn’t pass your inspection.

“You could pay me back by agreeing to a second date.” Geto teases you and watches as a slow, shy smile passes over your face as you sit next to him, scooting closer to tentatively stoke his calf with your foot, gauging his reaction. 

He shifts to adjust himself in his seat, seeing the heat starting to burn inside your eyes as your pupils dilate and flick down to his mouth. 

“Does it count as the second date if you invite me home with you?” Your breath hitches so sweetly to his ears when he leans forward, letting you see lust he’s been holding back 

“So bold, hun.” His voice drips with promise, leaning in to rasp his words into your ear. “But, no. I’d still consider it the first. Wouldn’t want you to back out of the second date after what coming home with me entails.” 

“Hmm…” You hum like you haven’t already made up your mind, keeping him waiting. Geto sees how you’re fixated on his lips, especially then your pretty pink tongue laps at your lips like you can taste him already. “Give me a little taste of what that would look like? I don’t think I understand, Sugu’.” 

What may have started as a way to get back at Satoru was quickly unraveling as you wind him up, wrapping him around your finger so easily it gives him whiplash. If he thought you being adorable, talking about your interests with passion was sexy, seeing your energy directed at him like this had his composure melting away. 

It’s like a puzzle piece that he didn’t know he was missing slots into place. He wants to own you, even as his lingering feelings for Satoru sit below the surface. Surely he can love you both at the same time and still give you what you need?

“I think I’ll make you wait.” He muses, breathing your air before he pulls away, noting a small whimper of disappointment from your lips. “Trust me, I’ll give you a taste as soon as we get home. There are too many eyes here for what I’d like to do to you.”

Geto’s cock twitches to life at what kissing you right now would push him to. Maybe he’d push his hands into you pants. Or more likely he’d drag you down the hall to the restrooms to bend you over the sink. 

But none of that was the time or attention he wanted to give you, or the noises he wanted to make sure Satoru heard, so for now his traitorous cock would have to wait in his pants. 

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

“You’re sure he’s not home?” You frown, looking around the familiar apartment, going straight to the kitchen to place your bag of books on the counter and pour the two of you a glass from Satoru’s collection of alcohol. Having you bend over right in front of him draws his attention, the heart shape of your ass clearly outlined in your shorts, the lips of your cunt lewdly visible with how the fabric is tucked. 

He’d grab your hips and pull you into him right now if it meant he could rub himself against you, but something about your comfort in this space irks him.

Geto twitches with annoyance, not at you, but how comfortable you are in here and what that means. You’ve been here before. Many times. And that means that Satoru has had the privilege to see you alone like this, so relaxed and intimate and he still hadn’t done anything with you. 

He doesn’t blame Satoru for wanting you around, you’re breathtaking and your personality is even better. But he wants to be the only one you soften for like this, the only one you smile at with such warmth and promise. 

“His shoes aren’t here.” He only shrugs, taking the drink you hand him and downing it in one gulp before leading you into the living room. 

You aren’t even able to bend back over and select a movie to watch before he’s taking your wrist and tugging you harshly to the couch to straddle his hips. The second your legs are settled around him he’s gripping your chin, wrenching your face towards him where he claims your mouth with a deep, satisfied moan. 

You shudder in his hold as his hands push under your shirt to knead at hips, making you rub your clothed center against his. Geto groans when you sink your nails into his chest, the bite of pain making him shiver and his cock twitch in excitement. He reaches one hand to the collar of his t-shirt tugging it off with one hand in a practiced motion.

“Fuck, sweetheart. Keep putting those marks on me.” He growls, starting to lose himself in the haze of need, his reaching hands trembling with the need to see your soft skin exposed to the air. He grabs the hem of your shirt, ripping it from your body, attacking you with hot, heavy, open-mouthed kisses, stroking his tongue with yours, already addicted to your taste. 

He knows how high he’s building you without even touching your cunt. Your wetness soaks the fabric of your shorts, staining the crotch of his pants to the point he can feel it against his length. It has his mouth watering as he yanks your head back by the hair at the nape of your neck, kissing you deeper and greedily palming your tits under your bra, using the rough pads of fingers to twist your nipples gently. 

He’s about to flick your bra open when, in the lusty haze, he hears keys open the front door and footsteps approach. Your body gives no indication that you’ve heard Satoru come home, so Geto sloppily trails his mouth down your neck, sucking harsh marks onto your skin that will make Satoru remember what he’s about to get an eyeful of. 

He growls when you respond to his administrations so readily, your head tilts back limply, giving him the room to add more strokes to his canvas, but what he doesn’t expect is your hands deftly unbuttoning the buttons of his pants, shoving a hand inside to stroke him in time with his tongue’s movement on your skin. Only when your eyes fly open in the shock of a hash bite on your neck do you see Satoru standing there in stunned silence. 

“Thought we said no fucking in the common rooms?” You fly back from Geto, covering your chest with an embarrassed squeak, rushing out an apology as Satoru glowers at the two of you.  “Make sure to use protection, Geto will try to convince you he doesn’t need it.”

Geto feels how you flinch, your body tensing at the loud slam of Satoru’s bedroom door. But he’s too elated that he got such an intense reaction out of him, it’s only company in his mind was the anger that he had caused you to flinch and how he could make you forget what he said to you. 

“Now where were we, hun?” He purrs, undisturbed by the interruption, his bulge still pressing against you. He notes your hesitation and pulls back slightly, cupping your cheek to check in with you. “We could stay out here and give him a show. Or do you want to go to my room?”

“Your room….” You mumble, leaning needily into his touch, letting him scoop you into his arms and carry you. You didn’t know that you were craving attention like this, your want for Geto was barely dampened by the interruption, but you refused to be disrespectful of your best friend’s apartment.

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[l-lou-u]

HUGE JJK SPOILER

CHAPTER 221 (short) ANALYSIS and thoughts

I will use traductions by @ king_jin_woo on twitter

Ok i am not gonna talk about how refreshing seeing gojo was I missed him so much and Gege’s art style really made him look so good and he really was a breath of fresh air because I could talk about it for hours, no, i want talk more seriously about what happened

I think Gojo might have a plan to separate Sukuna and Megumi. He looked bothered that Sukuna was in Meg’s body and I know he isn’t really Mr.Emotional but he didn’t even freeze for a sec, he probably got himself ready for any kind of situation in that box and didn’t want either sukuna or kenjaku to see any kind of emotion (weakness) on his face, but this ? He didn’t seem to think much of it, since right after this ⬇️ he already thinks about something else.

Yuji and Yuta also said they had some plans, and Yuki’s diary about the souls ? Something’s going on and I don’t think Meg will be possessed by the end.

When we saw Megumi in the abyss :

I thought I was going crazy for seeing a infinite symbole reflecting on his face,meaning that Gojo will have a role in his saving, but maybe that wasn’t so stupid after all. And even if it’s a reach, that doesn’t really matter. Even if megumi is at the bottom of the abyss, there’s still light, there is still a way out of this, he just is in too much despair to see it.

(I’m still worried about the « let fate toy with you and die like a fool/clown » quote by Reggie tho)

Now about the fight gojo vs kenjaku & sukuna being postpone to the 24th december. When Kenjaku questions it, Gojo says that it would be confusing if Geto dies two different days, but that doesn’t make sense, when he comes out and sees Kenjaku, he tells him to be careful with his words as their will be his last, and he also said he came here to bury Geto properly. He didn’t give a shit about what day it was. So I think he has a plan and that was just an excuse.

The 24th December, the day they are supposed to fight, is obviously an important day for Geto and Gojo, as it is Geto’s death but also the day they (kinda) reconcilated, or at least, came to terms with each others. (Doesn’t that mean the same thing …?)

But it’s also and MAINLY an important day for …

Yuta (and Rika) !!!

Lets not forget that the 24th December was pretty much Yuta’s awakening day. Also, Yuta vs Kenjaku was teased long ago then never bought up again, when Yuta sait he would kill Kenjaku by himself and not let Gojo kill his best friend a 2nd time.

I really don’t think Gege would randomly drop that to never make anything with it again. Maybe we’ll see Yuta surpassing Gojo in term of strength, as he was always teased to be his successor as the strongest sorcerer. I do hope so. In anyway, I think Yuta will play a MAJOR role that day, and that Gojo has something in mind about him.

~~

Overall, I loved this chapter, (bonus points for Shoko wearing sunglasses (I hope they’re gojo’s) looking unimpressed and Kirara filming Gojo’s unboxing)

It makes me so hyped for what’s to come next, even if Gojo learning about Nanami’s, Yaga’s and his students fate will break my heart. I also wonder how he will react seeing Choso alongside everyone, since the last (and first) time he saw him, Choso was pretty much trying to kill him and kill innocent people soooo yeah, maybe he’ll be a little reluctant but if he sees that everyone is chill with him, Choso should be fine haha

During the one month wait for the final fight, I hope we’ll have more interactions between the characters. Especially GOJO AND SHOKO PLEASE their friendship is so cute and I need Gojo to realise that he’s not alone, which might be hard considering the context and their different strength levels (I will adress this more in gojo’s analysis I SWEAR ITS COMING)

But Yeah, after all those fights, I hope we’ll have more development about character’s relationships, and some more world building, especially about the souls stuff and how sukuna who was human became a curse

Thank you for reading !