#that GOT in the 2010s managed to do WORSE somehow

[melrosing]

When JKR wrote Harry Potter it was illegal to have a gay character in children book in the UK. How the hell do you blame her for that?

The last couple books (prominently detailing Dumbledore and his backstory) were written after Section 28 was repealed, and yet despite claiming he was gay in 2007, and despite many plays and films featuring Dumbledore in the years since, his sexuality was never cited within the story itself until /checks notesss… a couple lines in the 2022 Fantastic Beasts movie that international markets could easily edit out. Nice one

[katyaromanoffpetrova]

Our goddess and savior: Natasha Romanoff

Katya is good at ending up in bad situations. Natasha is good at getting her out of them.

• Natasha Romanoff x Fem!OC • Wordcount: 1.7k • Warnings: descriptions of gore and an execution This is part of my series where I post small scenes I've written over the years that have never seen the light of day because they didn't fit into the story the way I wanted them to Masterlist

Do not repost my work as your own or translate my work!!

A/N: this one is for you @milfs69420

2010

Katya's wrists ached where the rope cut into them, a wooden pole digging into the valley between her shoulder blades. She tried to feel for the small knife hidden in the sleeve of her mission suit, but they'd successfully managed to strip her of all her weapons. There was nowhere to go, and her muscles were aching as she used the pole to keep herself up.

Fuck this mission. And fuck herself for messing it up once more. 

Maybe Natasha was right and she really was the worst best spy ever. Somehow, she always walked out with the correct information or the right person's heart pierced by her knife. But it was always after almost dying or getting hurt.

Right now, Katya found herself on the other side of a firing squad. About ten men patiently awaited orders to empty the magazines of their automatic weapons into her body. Behind them, a hundred more from their shitty organization gathered to watch the whole thing happen, like pathetic little sheep.

They were using her for propaganda and a demonstration of power. How nice. 

''Look,'' Katya sighed exasperatedly, using her last bit of energy to cover up her dread. If she was going out, she was going out with sass. ''I know I'm pretty, my girlfriend says so, but is the display really necessary?'' 

God, she could really use Natasha right about now, mere moments away from a possibly very shitty death. Imagine getting delivered back to SHIELD with hundreds of bullet holes in her body. 

A wave of guilt nearly brought her to her knees. That would leave her gorgeous girlfriend traumatized for sure.

''Yes.'' A short man in front of her answered. He barked orders at the firing squad earlier. Now he was slowly pacing back and forth, waiting for something. Katya wasn't sure what. His French accent annoyed her. ''You're an example.''

''Of beauty?'' She feigned an exaggerated smile. ''Thanks.''

''No. Of idiocy.'' He scoffed, stepping up to her. His creepy little eyes traveled up and down her body in disdain, as if he was bitter he didn't get to shoot her himself. ''Thought you were one of the best. The Ghost.'' 

Katya wasn't backing off—not that she could. She squinted at him when she spat out her code name. ''Yeah, well, I have a reputation of messing up.''

''Clearly.'' He smirked when he heard someone coming up to him, stretching out his arm to receive something. ''So, this is you paying the price for it.''

Dread swirled in Katya's gut as she watched him fiddle with the mysterious thing in his hand. He'd turned around and walked back to his men, so it wasn't clear what it was, but she had a bad, bad feeling about it. Worse than her upcoming death. ''What's that?''

Smugly, the man turned around, lifting and pointing the object at her. It was a video camera. ''I am going to film this, if that's alright with you? Give your friends something to remember you by.''

All the blood drained from Katya's face at once. Gone was her attitude.

She could handle dying. And she was pretty sure Fury would shield Natasha from ever seeing her destroyed body. But if this shitty little man got her death on video, he would dangle the footage over Natasha's head and use it to absolutely destroy her soul. 

Katya could handle dying, but she would not drag her girlfriend along with her.

''No. Don't,'' she said firmly, her whole body on edge. She wanted to snatch that recorder from his hand and throw it so hard against a wall that it shattered in a million pieces. But she was helpless, tied to this godforsaken wooden pole like a witch in the seventeenth century.

The man's smirk widened. ''Oh, someone's getting queasy.''

Katya's fingers curled into fists to keep her fearless composure. ''You can kill me all you want, but don't put it on tape. That's really not necessary.''

''Too bad.'' Slowly, he backed up, until he stood between the row of shooters. He was enjoying it, this asshole. He knew he had her on the edge of desperation. ''Any last words?'' When the red light on his recorder started to flicker, Katya knew it was too late.

''None meant for you.'' 

Defeated, accepting of her upcoming fate, she closed her teary eyes, leaning her head back against the pole. 

Death was fine by her. That wasn't the part she feared. But all Katya could think about was the people she'd leave behind. People who would actually care if she was gone now. 

Well, just one person, actually. Natasha. How heartbroken she'd be. She would never let another person get close again, give up on love forever. Maybe she'd run from the pain, give up on everything good she was achieving with SHIELD. All that growth, everything that made her into a human being again, gone. 

In this moment, though, there was nothing else to do but accept the situation. Dozens of soldiers, tightly tied to a pole, defenseless; Katya was stuck and utterly hopeless. 

''Guns ready!''

Nat, I love you. It's the only thing she could think of. I love you, I love you, and I'm so sorry I'm leaving you again. Please, forgive me. 

''And—''

His voice got cut off by a choking sound.

Katya's eyes flew open, disoriented and confused. Her heart raced in her chest as she followed the noise of the video recorder shattering on the floor to the man from before. 

A knife sat deeply lodged in his throat. Blood sprayed out of his artery, his mouth wide open as he fruitlessly clawed at his neck. But there was absolutely no fixing this. His knees instantly gave out, and in a mere five seconds, he was as dead as they could be.

Frantically, Katya looked around for the thrower, her savior. Although from the precision with which that knife was thrown, it could only be one person. The only one almost as good as her. 

The realization made her laugh, and she dropped her head back against the pole once more. This time with a wide smile on her lips. 

''Always the dramatic entrance, darling!''

Like she was in the walls, Natasha's chuckle echoed all around. The dozens of aimless men in front of Katya were spinning hopelessly in their spot, raising their guns, trying to find her, but Natasha was nowhere to be found. The shadows loved her as much as the setting sun loved her orange hair. 

A horrifying humming filled the space, a slow tune which made neckhairs rise and skin crawl. Something straight out of a horror movie. ''You look so pretty tied up, baby.''

Despite the situation, Katya felt her smile morph into a sly smirk. She shifted restlessly, eager to get out of these ties now that rescue was near. ''Then why don't you come down here and help yourself?''

''I am here, baby.''

She jumped six figurative feet in the air, her wrists painfully sliding across the rough wood from the pole. Natasha's voice sounded from right behind her, where she had never expected it. ''Jesus!''

''Close your eyes,'' Natasha muttered, her mouth close to Katya's ear.

''Why—'' A loud shriek left her lips. The sound of a million gunshots bounced off the walls of the warehouse, amplified by the bare concrete and metal support beams holding the place up. It was deafening. If it weren't for the hands covering her ears, Katya feared she may have had a ringing in her ears for a week. 

Her eyes closed all on their own as—what must be—SHIELD STRIKE teams laid down fire upon everyone in the room. Natasha must have brought them with her when she realized what the situation was like. Katya recognized an execution when she heard one. She couldn't say she hated this one. Something about karma. 

The noise abruptly died out. Safe for some rattling of empty bullet shells, the warehouse was completely silent after Natasha took her hands away. The dozen, quick-moving, heavy footsteps that moved in on the very dead crowd were mere whispers compared to the thunderstorm from before.

Natasha sighed, stepping in front of Katya with a disappointed yet amused shake of her head. It was probably the near-death experience, but Katya had never seen anything more beautiful than this. Was this what religious people saw when Jesus came to them in a dream? ''You really did it this time. A firing squad.''

Katya grinned, trying not to focus on all the dead bodies behind her girlfriend. The relief she felt was indescribable. Natasha saved her life once again. ''Impeccable timing, honey.''

''I let you sweat a bit. Was here, like, fifteen minutes ago.'' Natasha shrugged, pulling another knife from her thigh to cut the rope with. 

She pretended not to see the murderous glare Katya sent her as she disappeared behind her again, because that was such a dick move, to try and teach her a lesson by almost letting her get murdered. It wouldn't even work, because Katya just kept ending up in these situations, even if she tried to be more careful. Especially then.

''Hey, what were you thinking about right before I treated that guy to my knife?'' Natasha knowingly asked as she cut away at the rope around Katya's wrists. ''You had that frown on your face.''

They both knew she did that dramatic mental goodbye, but Katya refused to give in to the teasing. Relieved, she brought her hands to her chest when they were freed, rubbing her raw wrists. ''Thinking about the chicken I had for dinner. It was very good.''

''Mhm,'' the redhead hummed skeptically. She returned to Katya's front to cut away the rope around her ankles, tossing her hair over her shoulder before she crouched down.

''And about how sexy you look in your mission suit.'' Katya's eyes lit up, risking everything by staring at Natasha's cleavage while the woman had a very sharp knife very close to her Achilles heel. This top view just did wonders for her chest. ''By the way, that knife and the psycho tint after? Incredibly hot.''

Natasha smirked, her gaze flickering up to Katya's. ''I thought you'd like it.''

Like? Katya had nearly crumbled on the spot. ''Baby, I think once you cut me loose, my knees might give in on me.'' She chuckled humorlessly.

Somehow, Natasha looked excited by that fact. ''I'll have to carry you then.''

[gxlds-doodles]

was thinking abt how much i miss the 2014-2015 era fnaf fandom and it's interpretations of the characters (oh vincent purple guy how i miss you.) so new au alert!! lil chibis of my vincent n phone guy <3 designs are very much inspired by the popular designs for them around that time (originally popularized/created by rebornica i believe - though these are completely separate from their au i am not associated with them in any way shape or form) 🎉✧ SUPER COOL EPIC LORE INFO UNDER THE CUT!!!!!!! ✧🎉

general lore ☆ basically a whole rewrite - not because i have issues with the story (i stopped paying full attention after sister location tbh) just for fun!! again very much based on me missing 2010s fnaf fandom that was PEAK to me ☆ i still tie in some pieces of the lore but for the most part. forget what u know abt fnaf this is a whole rewrite (ex. animatronics are sentient but not possessed by children - not possessed at all in fact!! except for perhaps a few exceptions but i'm working on it) ☆ these two have quite a lot of canon lore tie-ins but beyond these two it's different LOL ☆ set in or around 2014, timeline is a wip vincent dorian (formerly afton) ☆ italian on his dad's side, armenian on his mom's side ☆ william afton's only child, born while freddy's was open but doesn't remember it rlly - his father and henry emily were co-owners/business partners but split ways (aka william got fired bc henry found out what he did. why he didn't bring this to the cops i'm still working out) soon after he was born ☆ raised by william as a single father ☆ was forced to help his father kill since he was like 12 this guy's got TRAUMA. ☆ still deciding on why he's purple (boy why you ourple.) but ik that it's william's fault. idk if i wanna go the walking corpse route like with michael in canon yet ☆ cuts off his dad when he's 18 - moves out on his own, etc. ☆ still kills for reasons i am currently working on however he does NOTTTT kill children ☆ starts working at freddy's at 27 as a way to 'rebel' against his dad, even if he hasn't seen him in yeeears by this point ☆ night guard at first, eventual day shift guard and sometimes a technician when needed ☆ his hair is naturally still black - he dyes it purple bc he thinks it looks cool ☆ his red scrunchie matches the red of phone guy's head <3 scott emily ☆ THE DRAWING IS OF A VERY SPECIFIC POINT IN THE AU I HAVE YET TO FLESH OUT it's not the most reflective of his character overall ☆ puerto rican ☆ henry emily's only child - remembers a tiny bit about william, remembers being scared shitless of him ☆ gets caught in a fire set by william when he's 16. he barely makes it out alive ☆ henry makes him the phone head mask thing. it can *technically* be removed but it never is bc it keeps the scars that never quite fully healed from getting worse ☆ head somehow works like a real phone... don't ask i just thought the idea of him ringing when he feels strong emotions is rlly funny (henry makes sentient animatronics in this au he can do anything. everyone say ty plot device dad!!) ☆ has some sort of contacts made by his dad that allow him to see through the phone ☆ grew up with the restaurant, his dad managed the location he's currently at until passing the business and the manager position onto him when he was 25 and henry was ready to retire ☆ henry told scott the full truth about william shortly before retiring - including that he set the fire that he got caught in. it's made him pretty paranoid that he's coming for him or something's gonna happen to him, even if neither of them have heard from william since then and he's essentially off the grid ☆ always at the restaurant during opening hours but rarely ever seen bc he doesn't want to scare any of the kids with his phone head vincent & scott ☆ yes they're dating. everyone cheer!! early fandom purplephone was my SHITTTT i love them so much ugh they r everything 2 me ☆ ngl they remind me of poolverine (deadpool x wolverine). vincent is deadpool (VERY accurate.) and scott is wolverine (less accurate but their dynamic stands) ☆ scott finds vincent annoying at first but eventually warms up to him and now he loooooves him. he's still annoying but he loooooooooves him ☆ scott doesn't know vince is william's son at first since he changed his surname and looks completely different ☆ they're just rlly cute and deeply in love and got some angsty shit going on later but that'll be a surprise oooo

[kabie-whump]

Magic Whump Week Day 2 - Cursed

Do y'all remember when I was talking about empathy curses (this post)? Well, I'm back and I have more to say.

Honestly, when I first came up with the idea it was years ago and I was using it to whump Nico di Angelo. I imagined that he was cursed by Orcus after he ghostified Bryce Lawrence in Blood of Olympus. I was going to write about empathy curses in generic terms, but really this was meant to be HOO fanfiction, and so that's what I'm giving y'all.

*Cracks knuckles* I haven't written for this fandom since the ye olde 2010s.

~~~

It had crept up on him, really.

Nico woke up hurting. That wasn't surprising considering everything he had gone through over the past few days. He'd nearly turned himself into a ghost, according to Reyna and Hedge. He'd survived, but Bryce Lawrence hadn't been so lucky.

He expected fear, or maybe hatred. He'd just sent a living person on a one-way trip to the Underworld, just for scratching his friend. Normal, trustworthy people don't pull shit like that in front of those who are supposed to be helping them.

But Reyna and Hedge showed no sign of walking away from him. If anything they seemed to like him more, to trust him more. The feeling was completely alien.

But, putting all of that weirdness aside, it was to be expected that he'd be in a bit of pain after straining himself so badly. That's why it took him so long to notice.

The trio got back on the road, this time via pegasus since Nico was declared too weak to do any more shadow-traveling. The pain came and went in waves as they soared up the eastern coast of the US but Nico managed to put on a brave face. He'd felt much worse before.

It wasn't until Gaea woke that Nico really started to realize something was wrong. The battle broke out quickly, both camps teaming up to take on her legions of monsters.

It started with a sharp, stabbing pain in his side. Nico gasped, whipping around to search for the attacker, but there was no one there. Then, an intense burning raced across the palms of his hands and up his arms. He dropped his sword on instinct, but when he went to look at his arms they were completely untouched.

The next few came in quick succession - his head, his feet, his back. Nico cried out, stumbling against the side of a nearby tent. Something was attacking him. They felt like battle injuries. But there were no monsters nearby.

"Show yourself," Nico demanded, his voice shaky. He was met with silence aside from the nearby yells of demigods and growls of monsters. "Who are you?" he tried again, forcing himself to stand upright. "I know you're there!"

The next wave of pain had him doubling over, clutching his stomach. His body felt as if it was deteriorating, exhaustion building and building even as he stood still.

"Cut it out!" he gasped.

Seconds later, Will Solace turned a corner, his eyes going wide as he caught sight of Nico.

"Stay back!" Nico warned him. "There's something here. It's invisible."

Will hesitated, glancing around the clearing. "You need help," he decided. Baring his dagger in front of his body, he slowly made his way forward.

"Stop," Nico grunted, but Will didn't stop. Somehow, he made it all the way to Nico's side completely unharmed.

"Maybe I scared it off?" Will mused.

Nico shook his head, then forced out a groan through his clenched teeth as he was struck by a sensation not unlike being impaled through his gut. His knees buckled and he collapsed to the ground, mud soaking through the fabric of his jeans.

"Nico!"

Nico's vision was blurred with tears, but he could feel Will rushing over to kneel next to him.

"Where are you hurt? Let me see."

Nico allowed Will to draw his hands away from his stomach. He looked down, expecting to find himself on his knees in a steadily-growing pool of blood, but that wasn't the case. His hands were a bit dirty and he had blisters from his sword, but otherwise everything was fine. He was in pain, but he wasn't injured.

Will frowned, looking Nico up and down. "You're... You're fine."

Another wave of pain, this time in his shoulder. "It hurts," Nico grunted.

"Okay, okay. I'm gonna get you to the infirmary. We can fix this."

Nico was cooperative as Will slung his arm over his shoulders and supported him as they made their way away from the Roman camp and back over Half-Blood Hill. The pain persisted, popping up in random spots all over his body until he could barely support himself. But the time they made it to the infirmary, Will was mostly carrying Nico as he trembled and bit back cries of pain.

It didn't get really bad until the pair shouldered their way into the infirmary. Nico choked on a gasp, clinging to Will to stay upright as he was scooped onto a cot.

"It hurts," he muttered, gripping at Will's shirt. His whole body felt cold and sweaty, his hands trembling. "Gods..."

"It's okay, Nico. I've got you. Just try to stay calm. I'll get you some nectar."

On the next bed over, a girl was trying not to hyperventilate while a pair of healers prepared to reset her dislocated shoulder. She tilted her head back, her eyes squeezed closed as she braced herself.

Then the healers jerked the girl's arm into position, and Nico screamed.

He twisted and hunched into himself, grabbing at his shoulder in tandem with the girl next to him. He could sense Will rushing back to his side but he couldn't see, couldn't think.

"Where does it hurt now? Your shoulder?"

The pain in Nico's shoulder had already faded into the background compared to a new searing across his back.

"M-My back. It burns."

"Your back..." Will trailed off, his hands hovering over Nico's back. "Oh. Oh no. I have to get you out of here."

Nico couldn't protest as Will scooped him up, rushing him out of the infirmary. The pain faded somewhat as the door slammed behind them, finally letting Nico breathe. But it wasn't gone.

"Where are we going?" Nico slurred.

"Away from everything."

"Why? We have to help."

"I think... I think you're feeling other people's pain, Nico. I don't know why, but it's the only thing that makes sense. Maybe if I can get you away from the fighting the pain will stop."

Nico was too exhausted to weigh in on Will's plan. It made sense. The waves of pain felt like battle injuries, but his body remained unharmed. And that would explain why it had been so much worse inside the infirmary.

Will carried Nico to the Hades cabin and laid him down on a bed. The pain wasn't gone, but it had faded enough that Nico could manage rational thought again.

Will sat on the edge of the bed, looking him over. "Better?"

"Yeah, a little," Nico said. "I can still feel it, but it's not too bad."

"Okay, good. I think it's safe to say you're sitting the rest of this battle out."

"But-"

"You've done enough, death boy," Will insisted. "Rest. Wait this out."

"...Fine."

Will gave him a small smile, drawing the blankets up over his chest. "Really, try to sleep. I've gotta get back out there."

"Thanks, Solace."

[qqueenofhades]

i know you've talked about this before but i just saw someone say obama had 59 senate seats and a 78 house seat majority and he "could've done anything" and i can't. when did peoples' collective memory get so shit? i was in middle school for most of his presidency and even i knew back then how hostile the republicans were to him. what is this revisionist history people are insistent on engaging in like i just don't get it. it's so easy to look back from where we are now and act like people back then didn't try hard enough and it's infuriating

"Obama could have done anything." Sure, when he came into office in the middle of a global economic meltdown and somewhat understandably, put that first, even when the Republicans had already declared their firm intention, in the middle of said financial emergency, not to work with him ever on anything and to make him a one-term president. And yet, still got the $787 billion stimulus through (which at the time was just an Absurd level of Government Spending Oh Noes!!!) and in fact managed to stop things from getting even worse.

"Obama could have done anything." Sure, for the first half of his first term where he had full control of Congress (4 months with 60 seats) and aside from said minor economic problem, was also trying to get the Affordable Care Act done. After 2010 he lost the House; after 2014 he lost the Senate. There are plenty of critiques to be made with the benefit of hindsight about how the Democrats did or did not push to change the procedural rules (something they still can't do now with a much smaller majority and Joe Fucking Manchin reliably on hand to torpedo it), or how they did or did not campaign on the ACA, or how they got punished for it, or how Obama's political inexperience and knowledge that the Republicans were going to crucify him but he still tried to work with them did or did not play into it. The point is, to act like he had those whopping majorities for his entire two terms (and that they automatically just did whatever he said, thanks to his magic mind-control powers) is nonsense.

"Obama could have done anything." As the first African-American president who faced ungodly levels of hate, racism, paranoia, personal attacks, personal attacks on his family, attempts to prove he "wasn't American," Tea Party conspiracies, and Christ knows what else, all while he had to not put a single foot wrong in any scandal, no matter how minor, for eight years. (Which he did!) If only Obama had KNOWN that he could have just done anything and this would totally happen and be fine and never be subject to legal challenges or anything! The Republicans haven't spent a decade since trying to destroy the ACA or anything like that, not ever. Why didn't he use his psychic powers to peer into the future and realize that Roe, universally regarded as settled law, was going to be overturned thanks to an orange maniac and a dark-money federalist judiciary effort! Why didn't he predict that American white fragility was going to backlash in the form of Trump and just never run for president at all? HIS FAULT! THANKS, OBAMA!

"Obama could have done anything." Because he was a wizard, because the Democratic Party and the country was exactly the same 15 years ago, because 2008 was completely identical to 2023 in its social priorities, political issues, cultural beliefs, and other material, and because we can happily act as if Trump never existed, his effect on the American social, political, and racial zeitgeist never existed, because everything is Obama/the Democrats' fault somehow for Not Doing Enough, and nothing to do with anything else, ever. Clearly nothing to do with these fuckwits and their chucklefuck revisionist purity ideology and deliberate refusal to learn or accept anything that contradicts that, i.e. basic reality and history. Nosirreebob.

[thinking-outside-the-giftbox18]

please tell me more about your au with benrey x gordon x barney

like I want to know how benrey and barney are specifically, i'm very curious

I am SO SO GLAD that you're asking about my lore/ship because I want to share more about my goobers and their universe!

Note: I do NOT know the entirety of Half-Life. I was making lore for my TSP (The Stanley Parable) universe which is a part of a multiverse. I watched HLVRAI by mistake when I mistook Benry for Barney and I just love HLVRAI and Benry that it’s hard not to put it in the lore.

About the Ship - GeeBees:

A proper love triangle where all three love, respect, and care for each other.

Gordon (he/him; FTM) is curious and everything about Benry fascinates him. Barney and Gordon are childhood friends and had become lovers after HL2 with Barney helping Gordon recover. Gordon would much prefer both his lovers safe and unhurt but understood that that'll happen once the Resistance finds a bigger base for shelter. Now, he stays at home taking care of himself and helping when needed, otherwise, he'd cuddle Benry and Barney when one or both are back home. He enjoys giving and receiving physical affection to his lovers and despises silence, so it's a blessing to have two lovers who make all the sounds they want around him. He was the reason why Benry sleeps between him and Barney after Benry warded off G-Man one night.

Benry is healing with Gordon and Barney for the better, he helps around with them and the Resistance base, and his affection is reciprocated and returned tenfold, it’s worse in a good way when Gordon and Barney proudly one-up Benry’s weirdness. He adores Gordon and is happy that he doesn't find him weird in a bad way and it does surprise him at first back at the simulation, but he grew to love his curious yet freaky nature of Gordon as he'd too learn new things about himself (like his true form(s), shapeshifting and purring). Barney and Benry just GET each other as they've experienced being left in the background and Barney could easily pick up Benry who is fine with being carried by hot people.

Barney had always been taking care of the two and making sure to not lose Gordon again, because of Benrey, Barney feels validated on his feelings and anxieties while also letting Benry help him around, though he does like to lightheartedly tease Benry. Barney and Gordon being childhood friends helped a lot on their relationship and meeting Benry somehow strengthened their bond as the duo became a trio. Benry and Gordon would pay Barney back for taking care of them by taking care of him too. Benry even helps by shapeshifting into Barney to take his place at Combine when Barney's unable to work. And when Barney's anxieties get to him, Benry can purr and sing some blue balls into his mouth to calm him.

More on the Giftverse AU and how GeeBees got along under "Keep Reading" cuz' this is too long ^^;

If you or anyone reading this has questions, reblog, comment/reply, DM, and even ASK me because I'd love to tell more! ^^

I have AUs for this ship, just to let you know ^^

What happened in this AU?

The interesting things that happened BEFORE that: 

Benrey and the Science Team (Tommy, Bubby, Dr. Coomer, Darnold, and Forzen) were put into a simulation that would later be HLVRAI.

Gordon and Barney are childhood friends who managed to stay in contact and meet again in Black Mesa.

After Black Mesa put Benrey and his Science Team in the simulation, they all were put into this sort of hibernation until a player arrived and dons the in-game HEV suit as “Gordon Freeman”. This happened 3 times, according to Benry, and the gameplay is different each time. Before being put in the simulation though, Benrey took and hid a master code of the simulation which lets him do whatever he wants with the map and story of the game. The first “player” (2010) was a guide who helped take the Science Team around the Black Mesa map, and Benry named them “Puter”. Sadly, Puter’s data and memory were erased to make way for the second player (2020) “Feetman” and started what we all know as “HLVRAI” and Benry changed the story and gameplay of the simulation because he thought it was boring.

The third player (2030), after the simulation erased the data and memory of the game model, is both Gordon and Barney who exchange because Gordon takes mandatory naps to recover from his PTSD and morphine rehab, and Benrey feels hope on leaving the simulation just to see them face-to-face.

After the events of ResCas and Gordon waking up from Stasis to Half-Life 2, Gordon gets together with Barney and maintains a platonic/sibling bond with Alyx, who then gets taken to Stasis by G-Man. Gordon HAS witnessed Eli dying, only to see him fine yet grieving Alyx’s disappearance (2020). That made Gordon DESPISE G-Man.

How GeeBees met?

Gordon and Barney reside together in the White Forest Resistance base. The apocalypse is nearing its end (2030), but Gordon and Barney are more happy about being a couple after so long. One day though, Gordon opened the door to G-Man who gave him an errand of the day: Play a game and retrieve something important, and as he appeared, he left suddenly. He also left a Playstation 2 console in a box by Gordon’s doorstep, and Barney helped Gordon set it up while unsure of what G-Man was planning. Along with the console was a VR set and a game CD with a blank cover and “Half-Life VR” written on the disc with black marker.

Gordon put on the game and the headset, he expected anything but a shitty yet semi-accurate environment that was the entrance of Black Mesa. Barney, who was behind Gordon and watching the TV screen, couldn’t believe it either. Gordon was starting to panic as he remembered all that happened during the day ResCas happened and Barney and Gordon were trying to figure out who was sick enough to make a game on the thing that started the apocalypse and what would they say to Eli and Issac. All their worries were halted after they heard a deadpan voice “hey. can i see your passport?”. And that’s when their lives changed for the better.

Long story short: Gordon and Barney take turns playing the game with Benry and the Science Team guiding them, Gordon’s worries about the game lessened when important events that had happened were changed into something more lighthearted. After playing the game (which Gordon and Barney didn’t want to do), Benrey managed to get him and the Science Team into Gordon and Barney’s shared phone before Gordon and Barney could figure out how to get them out of the digital space. 

After that, Benrey stays with Gordon and Barney while everyone else wants to live elsewhere around the base. It was tough for the Science Team to come to terms with the fact that they were no longer in a simulation and that the ResCas was an actual event (and also the fact that Benrey is meeting the ACTUAL infamous Gordon Freeman who he first heard from the researchers before he was put into the simulation) but in the end, they want to help the Resistance.

More does happen after, Issac adopts Bubby as his brother (Bubby being cloned from Issac), Tommy helps with retrieving Alyx and another OC of mine out of G-Man’s Stasis, and Benrey helps Barney by shapeshifting as him at Combine as well as getting to sleep between Gordon and Barney to keep G-Man away.

And this is practically fanon in my lore, but Giftverse! Gordon, Barney, and Benry get to meet their alternate AU versions of themselves.

Sorry this is too long, so here's Benry's "Gordon Freakman"

[bluemoonperegrine]

Those Who Wander

Rated T | Chapter 1/? | 1865 words | ao3 link

Authors: @bluemoonperegrine and @vicarious-rebel

Fandoms: Moon Knight, Werewolf By Night

Tags: Marc Spector/Jack Russell, Marc Spector & Steven Grant & Jake Lockley, mentions of Khonshu, mentions of Layla El-Faouly, San Diego/Tijuana area, alternate universe, fluff, romance, silliness

Summary: The Moon Knight system, now living in San Diego, decides to get back to nature after a mission investigating a human trafficking ring. Hiking in a national park in the mountains east of San Diego doesn't go as planned.

Notes: This is such an alternate universe. Seriously. It doesn't get much AU-ier than this! It's somewhere around 2010, the system and Jack are in their late 20s, and we've done a number on their backstories. Fun! We'll update tags as the story progresses.

-----------------------

Chapter 1: Well-Met

Out of all of the criminals Marc Spector had hunted down in his twenty-six years, he despised human traffickers the most. Although they weren’t the most depraved of those who’d received Khonshu’s justice by his or Jake’s hand, their calculating opportunism made his blood boil. These lowlifes were modern-day slavers. Following Khonshu’s orders regarding them wasn’t a problem.

One such lowlife by the name of La Araña was the reason why Marc had moved from London to San Diego last month. One of the reasons, really. Somehow Khonshu had learned about an explosion in human trafficking in the San Diego/Tijuana area and ordered him and Jake to cease Araña’s operations by any means necessary. The bird had ordered Steven as well, but the Brit has managed to talk his way out of it for the most part. Steven was smarter than the skeletal blowhard, much to his annoyance and Marc’s, Jake’s, and Steven’s amusement.

Rather than embark on a long-term mission, the system had decided to move back to the States. Although a few months had passed after their mother’s death and the Harrow/Ammit mess, they still felt off-kilter. Moreso than usual, anyway. A change of scenery would do them good, Steven and Jake thought. 

Marc didn’t care either way. Life was pretty lousy no matter where you lived, so whatever. Their best friend Layla traveled constantly for archaeological or Taweret-related reasons, so they’d see her often. She and Frenchie were their—particularly Marc’s—rock. Thank god for cell phones.

Despite being at the top of a rocky ridge, Marc’s flip phone had no signal. He withheld a sigh as he swept his gaze around the arid, rugged landscape. He needed to get moving before the morning sun climbed higher in the sky. Somehow he’d forgotten to pack a hat in the small rucksack that Khonshu’s suit could absorb. Steven had wanted to experiment more to see exactly how much mass the moon god’s magic could manage. It sounded like a long and tedious process, so Marc vetoed it entirely. If it could fit in his Army rucksack, it would work. Simple.

After taking a long swig of water from his half-empty canteen, Marc stowed it, shouldered his pack, and started down the narrow animal trail that led down the steep, east-facing hillside and into the canyon below. They’d need water from the stream that had carved the deep, narrow valley by the time they got there. Water purification tablets would make it safe to drink.

A pulse of anxiety washed over him. This time Marc sighed. “What, Steven?”

Kinda steep, innit?

“Kinda. Jake and I hiked worse in the Army.”

Sure did, jefe.

Marc grinned; he hadn’t realized that Jake was awake. “You keeping an eye on things, Jake?”

He felt his headmate’s mental nod. Yup.

We’re not lost, Steven said as if reassuring himself. Marc said he knows where we are. I don’t see how, flying at night after our mission when there’s no moon and there’s hardly anything out here! How do pilots—

“Steven,” Jake and Marc said simultaneously. Marc continued, “Even if we were lost, which we’re not, it’s fine. We’re trained for this. Packed accordingly, and—”

You forgot a hat.

Jake chuckled as Marc grumbled under his breath. “I wanted a relaxing hike, Steven. This right now is the opposite of relaxing.”

Está bien, hermanito. We’ve got the suit, remember?

Steven chuckled. Right. One of you nudge me when we’re not on a cliff or if something interesting happens.

Marc grinned. “You got it, buddy.” He felt Steven retreat just in time for the first switchback. The footing was a bit dicey unless you were a mule deer. He’d manage, and if he didn’t the suit would save their ass again. The suit didn’t dull pain, so Marc focused on the rocky trail and enjoyed the wilderness stretching out in all directions.

Three hours later the sun was directly overhead and felt searing due to the thinner atmosphere at this elevation. Marc was halfway through his canteen of safe but gross-tasting purified stream water. He’d stripped off his T-shirt an hour earlier to act as an improvised headwrap/scarf to protect his scalp and the back of his neck. It was working, but allowing his rucksack straps to chafe on his shoulders. Most worryingly, the canyon floor was now sloping uphill. He’d been walking southwest as planned. Barrett Junction should be a half mile ahead and downhill.

Steven did the mental equivalent of a stretch and a yawn. We there yet, bruv?

“Getting close,” Marc hedged.

Jake chuckled softly.

Wot? Steven asked.

We’re—

“Do not, Jake.”

We’re what?

Marc sighed and rubbed his eyes. “Taking the scenic route.”

Jake laughed and soon was joined by Steven. It’s all scenic, mate!

Hold up, Jake said, and Marc halted. Despite sharing the same body, somehow Jake picked up on things before he and Steven did. 

Marc looked and listened intently. Nothing was moving other than a few birds high overhead, but he heard something, just barely.

Jake stated, Vehicle. East.

Brilliant! Steven enthused as Marc darted behind a stand of pine-tree-like shrubs. What’re you doing? We can get a ride to civilization!

Gotta make sure he’s not a hostile.

Marc felt Steven virtually roll his eyes. You lot are paranoid. ‘E’s—or she, could be a woman, you know—prob’ly just out enjoying nature, but not lost like—

“WE’RE NOT LOST!”

The sound of the approaching engine quieted. “Hey!” a male voice called from the southeast. Maybe the canyon branched that way. “You need a hand? ¿Necesitas ayuda?” 

Yes! Steven replied as if the guy could hear him. 

Marc shushed his headmate so he could continue observing. Footsteps crunched on sand and gravel. Soon a slender man in a park ranger’s uniform stepped through an opening in the canyon wall and into view. His wide-brimmed hat shaded his face.

Feeling foolish, Marc shifted his weight to his other foot and debated waiting the ranger out. Maybe he should just summon the suit and fly off after all. He’d be a lot less sunburned that way.

The park ranger seemed to look right at Marc despite the evergreen shrubs hiding him. He started jogging toward him, calling “¿Estás herido? Are you hurt? I have a first aid kit in the jeep.” His English had a light Mexican accent.

Busted, Jake chortled as Steven snickered.

Wishing he’d never attempted a relaxing post-mission hike, Marc strode around the edge of the shrubby trees. “I’m okay, just…”

The ranger had halted about ten feet from him, close enough to make out his features despite the shade from his hat. He was drop-dead handsome, clean-shaven with tan skin and short dark hair. Seemed to be about Marc’s age and height.

Blimey, Steven murmured. Those eyes!

I thought you liked Layla, Jake said.

I do, Steven returned, but she doesn’t like any of us like that—

¡Gracias a Dios!

—and that’s fine, and I dunno, I’m still figuring things out so—

Shut. Up. Marc managed to say silently, if through gritted teeth. Mercifully, they listened.

The ranger—Russell per his name tag—tilted his head and frowned. “You’re sweating. That’s good.” He resumed walking toward him.

“Good?” Marc echoed, acutely aware that he was shirtless. Why did he care? He’d been in the army for crying out loud!

Russell smiled broadly. “You don’t have heat stroke. Do you have water?” Marc nodded. “Good.” He stretched one arm in the direction he’d come from and reached the other toward Marc’s shoulder but didn’t touch him. “Let me give you a ride back to wherever you’d parked. Was it the main lot, or one of the others?”

Marc found himself walking with the young man. “I, uh, was dropped off.”

Jake snorted.

Russell looked at him askance, then shrugged. “We’ll go to the station. It’s air-conditioned. You can rest, then go from there.” Marc nodded agreement.

They walked uphill along a short, narrow gap in the canyon wall heading east. Marc spotted the ranger’s dusty jeep parked near its mouth.

“Got a name?” Russell asked.

“Marc,” he replied.

Russell grinned. “Nice to meet you, Marc.” He put one hand on his stomach. “Jack.”

Steven chuckled, which made Marc frown. What? he asked.

“Yes, like the dog,” Jack said with a brilliant smile. “It wasn’t intentional.” He stopped walking, so Marc followed suit, abruptly realizing they’d reached the jeep. His situational awareness had gone to shit for some reason. 

Jack’s brow furrowed again. He motioned at the passenger side of the jeep. “Go ahead, get in. It’s a half hour drive on rough roads to the station, so be sure to drink some water. I’ve got jerky and trail mix if you need something to eat.”

Marc nodded again and did so, putting on his shirt after setting his rucksack in the back seat. Jack steered the jeep further east, then turned north on a rutted jeep trail. They were headed in the opposite direction he’d intended to go, not that it mattered. He caught Jack’s eye and waved southwest. “How much further was Barrett Junction?”

Jack’s eyebrows shot up as smile crept across his face. “That’s where you were headed?”

“Yeah.” Marc felt his headmates’ amusement loud and clear.

“I’m glad I found you,” Jack said, now serious. “Eight miles as the crow flies, but with this terrain? No offense, but I don’t think you’re prepared for it. And there’s no backcountry permits issued for this area right now. You shouldn’t be here.”

“Oh.” Marc faced forward, stared out the windshield, and tried to ignore Steven’s and Jake’s laughter. “I’ll be sure to get a permit in the future.”

Jack nodded, glancing at him out of the corner of his eye. “They’re for safety more than anything. It’s not good to do this stuff alone. I love it out here, but have to admit it can be dangerous. There are predators.”

“Yeah,” Marc agreed, his thoughts returning to La Araña. With the border only a few miles to the south, the trafficker may have routes nearby. For a moment Marc considered asking Jack if he’d heard of Araña, but decided otherwise. If anything he might seem suspicious, being in a remote area of the park near the border without a permit. So he drank more of the bitter-tasting water from his canteen, and waited to return to civilization.

Look at ‘im, bruv.

Marc didn’t on general principle and to not be weird; Jack was navigating a tooth-rattlingly rough section of road. Why?

‘Cos I want to see him. He’s cute!

Dios, Jake moaned. It’s Layla all over again.

Would that be so bad? Steven countered. She’s brilliant! A good mate.

Marc sighed. Enough. It’s not like we’ll be out this way again. 

Unless we want to go on another relaxing hike, Steven said. I’d say this is the perfect place to go!

Jake drawled, Try not to get lost, jefe.

Marc tried to lean the back of his head against the headrest, but the lurching jeep made that impossible. I hate you guys.

You don’t, Steven returned, affection clear in his words.

Marc returned it, smiling. I don’t.

[aerospace-agenda]

So I just got served a somewhat interesting news article;

"Keir Starmer set to be 'worst Prime Minister in history' after 'disgusting' winter fuel cuts"

Now, to be clear, I'm not here to defend those cuts- I can totally see why people would feel angry, upset, and betrayed by that decision. I'm not exactly happy about it myself.

But the thing I find interesting here is "worst Prime Minister in history".

...."worst Prime Minister in history"...

Considering the past revolving door of the past decade when it comes to PMs, and the utter shitshow that most of them have been- especially Boris Johnson's neverending cavalcade of incompetence, corruption, scandal, and general illegalities- that's quite the claim!

And, by metrics at least, he's already failed to beat Truss's record- she managed to tank her approval/disapproval into 8%/75% with a resignation within 50 days, and he's currently over 70 days in at 55%/19%. Cameron and every single tory PM following him has seen worse figures than Starmer is currently at. Three of them managed to get disapproval over 70, and two of them got approval under 10.

But I'm sure the source is trustworthy. GBNews, after all, is clearly impartial in this claim, what with having presenters like Nigel Farage, Jacob Rees-Mogg, and, uh, Boris Johnson...

I'm not here to defend Starmer- frankly, I'm pretty goddamn sick of austerity shit, and I can't say I'm pleased that it's labour doing it now. But. It's pretty rich for a conservative thing to claim he's "the worst PM ever" because he decided to engage with austerity measures, after no less than 5 tory PMs, pretty much all of whom were also engaging in this exact kinda austerity shit, have resigned in under 10 years, each of whom was in various degrees of disgrace and/or hypocrisy.

Like, consider the legacy that the list of previous tory PMs have left;

David Cameron, PM from 2010 to 2016, not only oversaw consistent austerity measures resulting in cuts to public services (strategically targeted to minimise impact on groups more likely to vote conservative, no less), but also put forward the brexit referendum. It's worth noting that referendum was almost entirely motivated by an attempt to satisfy euroskeptic tory MPs and allow him to stay party leader. After promising to remain PM and see the outcome of the referendum delivered regardless of which way it goes, he resigns almost immediately when the result is delivered.

Theresa May, PM from 2016 through 2019, followed him up. A... relatively strong start is followed up by a playlist of failure. An attempt to solidify her position through a snap election resulting in the tories losing the slim majority they had, coupled with bungles like the fox hunting debacle see her net favourability go from around +10 to more like -30. This never really recovers. She attempts to negotiate a deal to leave the EU, but it's unpopular enough that a significant portion of her own party's MPs vote against it, and it ultimately goes nowhere. Eventually, she resigns.

And that leads us into the modern era of the tories- Boris Johnson's legacy is a long shadow, amidst not only his personal issues of scandal and misconduct, but also stuff like his unlawful prorogation of parliament, the corruption shitshow that was his governments handling of covid, the "specific and limited" breach of international law, the bullying allegations, domonic cumming breaking lockdown, the lobbying violations, partygate and its followups, the ethics adviser resigning, and the straw that broke the camels back- his response to the sexual assault allegations regarding Chris Pincher. And that's just listing some of the major scandals, without getting into shit like deciding to implement the "Rwanda scheme", which is its own political nightmare. A while after he stepped down as PM, he resigned as an MP entirely after an investigation found he had lied to and misled parliament.

Liz "didn't outlast a lettuce" Truss somehow managed to become even less popular than Boris within two months, becoming one of the least popular and the shortest lasting PMs in british history, pushing support for the tories so low that an "if there was an election tomorrow"-simulation poll predicted that the SNP would become the opposition party.

And, of course, we finally are left with Rishi Sunak. Whose political situation was more or less one of desperately trying to find some image for the tories that would get people behind it, and failing. Things like the continued support for the Rwanda scheme and all the nonsense around small boats really didn't help. An abysmally handled early election resulted in the tories having one of their worst ever defeats, not because of support for other parties, but because of a lack of support for them- they went from almost 14m votes in 2019 to less than 7m. Labour lost over 500 thousand votes, and gained over 200 MPs.

For reference as to how unpopular Starmer is on approval/disapproval, compared to these individuals? He's currently performing at where Theresa May spent most of her time.

Or, in other words, he's doing better than Rishi Sunak or Liz Truss ever managed, and what David Cameron fell to post-brexit. Boris Johnson probably more or less averages out to slightly higher than his current rankings.

And frankly, if we're going to consider arguments for "worst PM ever", I honestly think that there are much stronger candidates in the last decade alone. Cameron's selfish brexit disaster setting the stage for years of chaos and political controversy. Boris Johnson's multi-year nuking of the tory party's credibility, and Liz Truss salting that earth as efficiently as possible. The fact, that despite being awful in his own right, Rishi Sunak manages to be a footnote in comparison? That really says it all.

[iplaywithstring]

So, I might be "in remission" with my ME/CFS.

it's in quotes because I don't actually know the criteria and I haven't talked to my doctor about it.

I had remission before - right after I was diagnosed in 2010, I started feeling better. Better as in I had been sleeping/resting/not active for about 18 hrs a day and then over the period of about two weeks I felt better and told my doctor my symptoms were gone. I was warned it could come back at any time, but I didn't listen. I did more and more and within a year I had taken up power lifting (2011). Shortly after that (fall 2012) I got a part time job. Within a few months (summer 2013) symptoms came back, I had to quit my job, and things got progressively worse.

There have been times since 2013 that I have been housebound. There have been times when I had about 4-6 "active" hours a day (where "active" meant anything from being on my feet to just being upright). After starting treatment for endometriosis I went through the diagnostic process a second time with the same results in 2017. I was prescribed stimulants to take as-needed on days when I needed to function in 2018.

Since 2019, I have been getting better at pacing - understanding my limits, not pushing myself, and actually resting. Early 2020, my husband went to Europe for 5 weeks, and I managed to take care of myself and my kids and the house without crashing (and did volunteer work!). When things shut down, I was able to sleep, rest, and be active according to how I felt instead of basing my activity on outside pressures. I really learned what pacing was and where my limits were.

in the fall of 2021 I went back to school - two days a week on site and two days a week online classes from home. Aside from a few bad days and not really leaving the house on the weekends, I managed without crashing. I started my full time on the job training three weeks ago (although full disclosure - I haven't actually worked full time - I've been sent home early at least once a week (because not all clients are comfortable having a student sit in on meetings) so it's not quite full time, but a lot more activity than I have been doing).

I'm waiting for the crash, but it hasn't happened. My husband reminds me that I'm not doing anything in the evenings - couch lump most of the time - but I am still doing a lot. Twice this week I was close to 10k steps, and I wake up the next day expecting to feel awful and I.....don't. My mind is working, my muscles and joints are....well, ok, they're sore, but OTC meds are taking care of it. My digestive system is working (this is a big deal!). I haven't had insomnia or other sleep difficulties. I haven't had random nausea or dizzyness or inability to function.

A friend of mine has reminded me that I'm likely riding on a lot of adrenaline, and she's not wrong, but I would expect the weekends to be bad if that was what was keeping me going. Instead, I'm...fine? Like today is Saturday and I woke up on my own around 8 and instead of napping in the afternoon I went for a 3k walk (slowly, on flat ground) - this is after doing some cleaning. And then I spent the rest of the day mostly sitting/reclining and feeling pretty tired. But just tired, not ill, not sensitive to sound, not having temperature regulation problems, just sitting on the couch relaxing (ok, under a blanket, but still, no chills or blue lips).

So now I'm wondering if I've actually just been faking for the past 10 years or if I was actually just lazy and wasting my life, or if I'm going to wake up one day and just be a mess. This is really happy and exciting news, but I feel really......insecure? about the whole thing. Last time I had a remission I went to therapy because it brought up a ton of things I had to work through - identity issues, who I am, what I want, etc. - and in the end it was positive but it was definitely a crisis point.

I want to believe that I am just understanding my limits and somehow not going past my ability, but it's really hard not to bounce back and forth between "oh no when am I going to crash" and "obviously I'm a fraud". It's been a trip, folks.

[give-grian-rights]

. . . .w-whats the take???

...

Scooby Doo: Mystery Incorporated did what Steven Universe couldn't-

LISTEN. i WAS a fan of Steven Universe. up until the last season. i dropped off for similar reasons to other fans. Steven Universe helped a lot to be progressive for cartoon representation and it deserves some mild respect in that area. still, in my opinion, a poorly executed show.

The entire first season, except for like twelve episodes, are filler. plotlines that could've been answered, or at least MENTIONED, were left hanging for literal irl years. i am glad i wasn't an active watcher when the series finale dropped because what the fuck. they shoe-horned in so much stuff????

now . im a fucking minecraft blog i am not the person to decide if your show is worth liking or not . i do not care . what i will say is the show could've done so much better . and there are shows, ON CARTOON NETWORK, that in my opinion accomplished their goal.. much better

Thus comes Scooby Doo Mystery Incorporated. 52 episodes, it tells a cohesive, if not a smidge confusing and bizarre, story. Characters going through stakes, losses, broken relationships and betrayals. No one might want to hear this, but Mystery Incorporated is literally the Gravity Falls of Cartoon Network . the mysteries have stakes. The resolutions, often time, directly effects the cast. All of the cast develop as people, for better and worse.

I do NOT want to spoil Mystery Inc. to anyone who hasn't watched it before, because in my unprofessional opinion, it really was one of the best series to come out in the early 2010's. But it had fairly consistent animation, with charming and artistic designs that pay homage to the previous iterations of Scooby Doo's franchise. it does NOT depend on it being part of that franchise but still is able to work it into the series and pay respect to the previous series in a way that doesn't feel forced.

somehow a scooby doo series from 2010-2012, with a little more than 50 episodes, told a story unravel from beginning to end, one that's bizarre, mysterious, goofy and also touching on the aspects of these characters being teens.

Scooby Doo Mystery Incorporated managed to tell it's story. It had a RELATIVELY more inclusive cast (for the scooby franchise) while still being one of the first western cartoons to tell a plot. It had a beginning, middle, and end. it got us attached emotionally to these characters, new and old, with what little time it had and explored the relationships with all those characters. in a scooby doo cartoon from 2010 on fucking cartoon network

anyway APPARENTLY ITS GOING OFF NETFLIX in December so please. please give this a watch. its not a perfect show but its a genuinely interesting story and worth more acknowledgement .

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter Seven}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays and Thursdays. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara’s blogs! >> @tacmc.

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

Nesta was out with Elain, Mor, Emerie, Amren, and Gwen for the night.

She had no idea when she’d be home.

This meant one thing and one thing only.

It was Cassian’s first night alone with Nyx.

It was no different than being home alone with Nyx during the day, which Cassian had been a handful of times thus far. However, Nyx didn’t seem to need as much during the day.

Eat, sleep, play, repeat.

At night, he needed a dinner, a bath, his bottle, to be rocked, to be put down for the night…which was something he never liked doing. A daytime nap? He didn’t mind. Sleeping for nine hours? Apparently that thought just pissed him off.

Nesta was a pro at getting him to sleep for the night. Cassian had offered once to do it and failed miserably.

“Not tonight, little man,” Cassian said to Nyx as they sat at the dinner table together. “Tonight, you’re going to bed the first time for Uncle Cassian.”

Nyx looked at Cassian and giggled.

Cassian scoffed. “Don’t mock me.”

Dinner with Cassian meant Nyx got the good shit. No puréed green beans or mashed carrots tonight. After he’d polished off a small jar of the cinnamon apples, Nyx had eaten nearly half a tube of puréed sweet potato, and Cassian was eating his own food. He took a bite of supreme pizza and pointed at him, before holding up a single finger. “After this, we’re gonna take a bath, and you aren’t going to throw water everywhere or poop in the tub, got it?”

Nyx just banged his little hand on the tray of his high chair, causing more sweet potato to fly onto himself, grinning up at Cassian.

“Then one last bottle before bed, while I read you a story,” he said, holding up a second finger. “I’m sure there will be a diaper change in there somewhere, so please go easy on me, yeah?”

Nyx played in the mess of mixed food in front of him.

“And then you go to bed, so I can watch a movie and pass out myself, and boom. Nesta can’t say anything about my parenting anymore cause I managed to keep you alive for a whole night.”

Nyx blew a raspberry at him before he started babbling.

Cassian took that as agreement.

“Perfect,” Cassian said, ruffling Nyx’s dark hair as he shoved the rest of the pizza into his mouth with his other hand.

He got up to clear his plate, and by the time he went back to Nyx’s high chair, he had managed to make orange streaks in his black hair.

Courtesy of the sweet potatoes.

With a sigh, Cassian took the tray off the high chair and unbuckled Nyx, picking him up and carrying him toward the bath.

“You first, tray second,” Cassian said.

Nyx started patting his little potato covered hands on Cassian’s cheeks, giggling at the sound it made.

Cassian cringed at the way it felt. “Thanks for that.”

He filled the bathtub up, ensuring it wasn’t too hot, like Nesta had shown him, and got Nyx out of his messy clothes and into the tub. After he’d wiped his own face clean of sweet potato, he went to work on Nyx, who had somehow managed to get it on the back of his knees.

Twenty minutes and a full change of wet, soggy clothes later for Cassian, he was sitting in Nyx’s nursery, in the rocking chair in the corner, a book open in his lap.

“This would be a book your parents bought you,” he muttered, opening the front cover. After clearing his throat, he began, “The night sky of Velaris greeted all the townspeople, letting them know it was time to go to bed.” Nyx patted the page and babbled something incoherent. Cassian nodded. “Yeah, it’s a nice picture, isn’t it?” He went on reading the story, written by a local author, no doubt, and Cassian found himself snorting at some of the sentences, but Nyx was fully engaged.

By the time he had finished the book, Nyx was leaning back against him, fully relaxed in his pajamas.

Even Cassian let out a yawn.

“You know, the Velaris starlight was important to your parents,” Cassian said, rocking Nyx back and forth. “They fell in love on Starfall. At least, that’s what Rhys always said. He was in love with your mama long before that, but she started falling for him on Starfall.” Nyx’s dark lashes began to fall, his eyelids drooping. “That’s why they named you Nyx. In Greek, Nyx means night.”

Nyx’s hand gripped Cassian’s thumb. He looked down at the sight and chuckled, quietly.

The baby looked up at him then, with those big, blue eyes, eyes that were so blue, they looked violet in the dark. That dark hair that was starting to need a trim, falling into his eyes. Cassian blinked quickly, trying to keep the sudden tears from spilling over. “You look so much like your dad,” he whispered.

Nyx just continued to watch him, pacifier in his mouth, those eyes getting sleepier with every rock of the chair.

Swallowing harshly, Cass set the book down and resituated Nyx so he was laying against his chest. He gently rubbed his back, the way he saw Nesta do when he would get fussy.

“I miss your dad,” he said, softly. “I know you do, too, you’ve known him your whole life, but—. But so have I. And after twenty-eight years he’s just…gone.”

That dark head snuggled in closer against him, one of his little hands clutching Cassian’s t-shirt.

Cassian said nothing else. If he had, he wouldn’t have gotten them out clearly.

He rocked. He rocked and he rocked and he rocked until Nyx was snoring, softly. As carefully as he could, Cassian rose and laid Nyx down in his crib.

After waiting a moment to make sure he didn’t wake up, Cassian tiptoed out of the room and across the hall to his own bedroom.

He had just laid down and unlocked his phone when he heard crying.

Tossing his phone back on his pillow, Cassian was instantly up, hurrying back across the hall. Nyx’s feet were kicking, his arms waving wildly, perfectly unhappy.

“What’s going on?” Cassian asked, picking the baby up out of the crib and cradling him against his chest. “Huh? You were sleeping so nicely.”

He continued to cry, and no amount of bouncing or patting his back was seeming to work.

“Come on, dude,” he muttered, sitting back down in the rocker. He resumed the slow back and forth motion, praying it would soothe Nyx back into peaceful sleep. “We did the bath. We did the bottle. We did the book. This is when you go to sleep.”

He kept crying and Cassian just shushed him quietly, his hand resuming the gentle rubbing he had done before. It helped, but Nyx still sniffled. “I don’t know what to do,” he admitted. “I don’t know how to do any of this. I’m still scared I’m gonna do something to fuck up and I wouldn’t just be doing it to you, it’d be to Rhys, too.”

Nyx’s wailing returned, and Cassian tried to close his eyes and take deep breaths. It wasn’t working. With everything he tried, Nyx only cried more and more and more.

“Come on, buddy,” he begged. “It’s time for bed, alright? It’s time to calm down.” Nyx let out a cry so loud that Cassian nearly jumped, which only scared Nyx, making him cry louder.

Cassian tried changing his diaper, tried getting him to take his pacifier, but nothing helped. He continued to rock, continued to pat, continued to walk Nyx around his room, but nothing worked.

Nothing.

Defeated, Cassian laid Nyx back down in his crib. “Come on, bud. Come on.”

Nyx kept crying, and Cassian rubbed his temples, trying not to join his nephew in his agony.

“Shhhhhh,” Cassian began, leaning over the crib, patting Nyx’s stomach. “It’s time for bed, Nyx. It’s time for bed. If your parents were here right now, I’m sure you’d already be asleep. Shit, if Nesta were here, you’d already be asleep.” He shook his head. “It’s me, isn’t it?”

The baby replied by continuing to cry.

He swore quietly, and hurried across the hall grabbing his phone, dialing a number he’d unknowingly memorized. She answered on the second ring.

“Is everything okay?”

He couldn’t hear music and laughter in the background of the call, but heard how panicked her voice was. She must have stepped away from her friends. It only made him feel that much worse.

“I can’t get him to stop crying and go to sleep,” he admitted. “I don’t know what else to try.”

“You gave him his bottle?” She asked, and he nodded. Then audibly answered her. After that, she ticked off the checklist of things she usually went through. Every single one he’d already tried.

“It’s like it’s just me,” he said, trying to calm him down while he held the phone to his ear. He scooped him up into his arms and sat down in the rocking chair. “He hates me and won’t go to sleep.”

She was quiet for a minute. “You know that’s not true, Cassian. He loves you.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” he said, quietly, low enough that he wasn’t sure if the receiver could pick it up over Nyx’s wailing.

But it didn’t matter, because he heard footsteps hurrying up the stairs.

When Nesta rounded the corner, she wasn’t expecting to find Cassian looking defeated in the rocking chair. She pretended not to see the tears on his handsome face as she dropped her purse by the door of the nursery and took Nyx. She began to soothe him and tried to give him back his pacifier, but he wouldn’t take it.

“He’s cutting a new tooth,” Nesta said, carefully looking into his mouth, wide open thanks to a drawn out sob. “That’s all. He’s just uncomfortable, isn’t he?”

By the end of the sentence she was looking at Nyx, an over-exaggerated frown on her face.

She handed him back to Cassian and was downstairs and back with cooling, teething toy she’d pulled out of the freezer. He began to chew and gnaw on it the moment she handed it to him.

The crying quieted.

“There,” she said, smoothing his dark hair back from his forehead. “Better, yeah?”

Taking him from Cassian who hadn’t said a word since she walked in, she put him back into his crib and gently rubbed his belly. Within minutes, he was asleep again.

He murmured, “Thanks. You…didn’t have to end your night early for me.” He gestured toward the front door. “You can head back out. I can— I can handle it now.”

She shook her head. “I was on the way home. Turns out I wasn’t really in the going out mood.”

Cassian nodded, and said no more. He simply watched Nyx, his chest rising and falling. Nesta gave him a curt nod and walked out, back into the hall.

Cassian followed, shutting the nursery door quietly behind him.

“You did that so effortlessly.”

Nesta stopped and turned to face him near her bedroom, a brow raised. “Effortlessly?”

“I’ve been struggling for hours and you came in, and less than five minutes… He was out.” Cassian shook his head. “I’ve known him since the day he was born and I had no idea what he wanted.”

“He’s a baby, Cassian. He doesn’t even know what he wanted.”

“You knew,” he said, exasperated, exhausted.

She blinked, not expecting the tone of his voice to have sounded so…empty.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Nesta said, looking at him, willing him to meet her eyes. He didn’t look up.

“It’s not okay,” he said, and suddenly his words were sharp. “Rhys trusted me to take care of him but I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.”

She shook her head. “They trusted us, but they knew it wouldn’t be easy. We knew it wouldn’t be easy. We just have to take it day by day and-.”

“It’s not okay!” His words weren’t loud but they were panicked. “I have to provide for him and I can’t fucking do it if I don’t know what he needs.”

“Cassian-.”

“Why would they choose me?” He asked, his voice quiet. Tears filled his eyes. He hated himself for it. “I never even wanted kids! I have no idea what to do with a kid, Nesta. I don’t know what parents are supposed to do, what dads are supposed to do, I didn’t even fucking have one.”

Nesta remained quiet, afraid to speak, afraid to move. She had never seen Cassian like this.

She didn’t think anyone had ever seen Cassian like this.

“I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to do this,” he repeated. “I can’t— I can’t do this.”

She knew her words would mean nothing, reassuring him that he wasn’t alone in this, that they would figure it out together. It wouldn’t help him, wouldn’t ease his mind or his heart. That heart that was still broken from the loss of his best friend, his brother. So she did something she never thought she’d do.

She closed the space between them and wrapped her arms around him.

Cassian didn’t move for a moment, he just let her slim arms wrap around his waist, not realizing that he was on the brink of losing it. He was fairly sure that right now, she was the only thing holding him together, both mentally and physically. But after a long minute, his own arms wrapped around her shoulder and he buried his face into the top of her hair. He didn’t care that his tears were soaking her hair, didn’t care that this was the woman he’d spent the past five years hating and avoiding like she was the damn plague.

He didn’t care that he was falling to pieces.

Standing in that hallway, with Nyx sleeping behind the closed bedroom door, Cassian wept, and he didn’t care who saw it.

[hoseokslefteyebrow]

Bon 4oyage || K.SJ

Episode 1

Pairing: Kim Seokjin X Reader Summary: In which you're Jin's girlfriend of 9 years and tag along in Bon Voyage Season 4. Wordcount: 3.4k

" Y/N ah, tell me, do you have any plans for the (random date) till the (another random date)? " Your boyfriend of nine years asks you suddenly. 

The two of you are simply chilling in your shared apartment. 

" Not as far as I'm concerned, why? " You ask, sitting down beside him. 

You were cleaning up the apartment before he asked you. 

" Y'know the boys and I will be going on Bon Voyage again, right? " He asks you, lacing your fingers together. 

You hum with a pout. 

" Yeah, it's my annual miss Jin ti-"

" Not this year love. " He cuts you off, a smile on his lips. 

You raise a brow in confusion. 

" Not this year? " 

" Yeah, I've asked the company, once again. And this time, they actually agreed. " He tells you with shining eyes. 

A smile makes it's way onto your face. 

" Really?! "

It was, in a way, hard to believe. The company liked you, but never actually approved of Jin having a relationship. When you became a couple back in 2010, the two of you had to keep it a secret for 4 years for the company, and another 5 years to the public. Until now, you didn't think that they would be okay with you going public.

You couldn't believe it. Finally your waiting for each other got paid off. 

" Yes. However, there are a few downsides. " He tells you, making a bit of a turtle face. 

You subconsciously run your thumb over his hand. 

" Just so you know, I will not come if I have to wear a mask for the whole thing-"

" No, no. -" He laughs. 

" Even worse. We can't have sex. For like a little longer than a whole week. " He tells you. 

You snort at his expression. You can tell it's genuinely bothering him. 

" Is that an issue for me or you? " You ask him. 

He huffs, turning around so he can lay against you instead. You run your unoccupied hand through his hair. Sure it's basically dead, but you know he likes it. 

" Both. I know your sex drive, plus that also means like, no sleeping naked. And I have to share your attention with the other boys. " He pouts. 

You grin, bending over to kiss his head. 

" Don't worry, it'll be fine, fun even. We'll just have a pg family trip. " 

And so you find yourself seated at a restaurant between your boyfriend and Taehyung. They're about to kick off the season, and today you're just going to talk about activities and what not. 

" There's trekking and a lavender farm. " Hoseok comments as he looks at his phone. 

" That sounds fun. " You comment, as the other boys give their own opinions. 

After a bit more of catching up, the staff calls out to all of you. 

" You've all done your research, right? " The staff member asks. 

You all hum in response. 

" Worry about the activities later, pick the accommodations first. " The producer tells all of you. 

Soon enough everyone's talking again, figuring stuff out. 

" We have to sleep in a campervan for three days. " Yoongi suddenly casually pops when you're drinking your tea. 

You almost choke. 

" eight of us in a campervan? How is that going to fit? " 

" eight of us in one campervan won't be comfortable. " Taehyung agrees with you. 

" We'll probably have 2 vans. " Jin tells the two of you. 

" Y'know, there's this thing I've always wanted to try- When you wake up in a campervan and then wash up in the river. " Jungkook smiles. 

You blink at him. 

" You want to wash up in the cold? " You ask him. 

He grins. 

" If I can manage, yes. It'll be fun. " He nods. 

" We didn't do research that thoroughly. " Namjoon tells the crew honestly. 

" Forget on where to stay! We'll figure that out somehow. Let's focus on the activities first. " Jin calls out, basically canceling the producer's idea. 

Soon enough everyone starts coming with ideas. 

Jimin wants to go to Aurora¿ and on a boat. Yoongi just wants to go fishing and Namjoon wants to go on a kart trek. 

" I want to go on the swing too." Jin says. 

" The swing? " Namjoon asks surprised. 

Namjoon had this great idea to go do some kind of bungee jump activity, just with a swing, as if that would magically make it better. 

Jin hums. 

" Yeah, it'll be fun with Y/N. We can both scream our heads off. " He smiles at you. 

You laugh, swallowing your bite. 

" Okay. But that does me we really are going, okay? No backing out last minute. " You tell him, knowing he's a scaredy cat sometimes. 

He laughs. 

" Yah! It's not like you're any better. " He points out. 

You laugh. 

That's true. 

" Okay, okay, I promise. Do you? " You ask him, holding out your pink. 

He smiles, taking your hand instead and kissing the top of it, sending you a wink playfully. 

None of the boys mind either of you by now, knowing the way you two act longer than a while. 

" I promise, m'lady. " 

" We just sealed our death. " You laughed. 

" We did. " He laughs with you. 

" Well, at least we'll die together. " You tell him. 

He smiles at you and winks again. 

" That we do. "

By the  the two of you tune back in, they're talking about trekking. 

" It only takes 2 hours to finish. " Yoongi speaks. 

Apparently they're talking about Mount Cook. 

Soon enough they're all talking, and giving their opinions on it. 

" It's really only a few hours, we should do it. " You catch Yoongi saying. 

Jin hums in agreement, slurping in his noodles. 

You raise your brow at both of them. 

" Bet, you two will regret it. " You tell Yoongi, who smiles at you and shakes his head. 

He makes an over confident face. 

" We'll be fine, we'll have fun, don't worry. " He tells you. 

" Should we stay in the campervan the whole time? " Jungkook suddenly wonders. 

You make a face but don't say anything. 

The editors do catch it, as does Taehyung. He nudges you with a smile. 

" We'll all stink by the third day. " You tell him softly. 

He laughs. 

Sleeping in a campervan with eight people doesn't sound too appealing for the whole week. 

" We can play Halli Galli. " Your boyfriend adds helpfully. 

" And BTS Uno! " Namjoon adds too. 

" Camping for sure. " Someone pops, probably Jungkook. 

" Does anyone know anything about camping? What do we need? " Namjoon asks. 

" Well, we start with a tent. " Hoseok provides helpfully. 

" I've camped a few times with my brother and his friends. Most stuff is usually inside the campervan."  You tell them. 

Jimin adds onto that, explaining most stuff to Namjoon, like a table that's built in. 

" Let me see the campervan? " Jungkook asks. 

" It's huge. " Hoseok responses. 

" If it's that big, will it be easy to drive? " Jin asks. 

" The road will probably be mostly empty. " Namjoon points out. 

" We do need shower facilities. It's not like we can shower outside. " Yoongi points out. 

" We don't need to shower. " Jin says vaguely. 

You give him a disgusted face. 

" Oh yes we do. " You tell him. 

" I want to too. " Jimin says. 

" We have to think of the rest too. " Yoongi tells Jin. 

" I normally shower though. " Jin says. 

" Yeah I know. " Yoongi grins. 

" You better. " You say with a scrunched nose. 

Jimin laughs. 

" Happy wife happy life, hyung. " Jimin tells the eldest. 

Jin turns to you and looks blankly at you for a second. You raise your brows before flipping your hair over your shoulder sassily, returning your attention to your meal. 

" No, I do take showers everyday, and my lady knows, thank you very much. " He grins playfully, one of his hands going under the table to rest on your thigh. 

After a bit more of discussing about Jin's shower habits, the producer cuts in. 

" We do need to choose an accommodation besides the campervan. " He points out. 

You breathe happily as Tae grins at you. 

For a moment it's a bit of chaos, most of the boys pointing out a 9.7 rated accommodation. 

With a bathtub.

As soon as it comes into view, Jin turns to you, and you give him a cheeky smile back, yet shake your head. 

Rules are rules. 

However, a moment later they're looking at a different accommodation, with cramped rooms. 

" it'll be fun. Like old times. " Jungkook smiles. 

A moment later they're back at discussing the campervan. 

" Jungkook and I will drive mostly though. " Hoseok calls out. 

" I don't mind driving. " Hoseok tells the others. 

" I'll get a driver's license on our days off too. " Namjoon pouts. 

" I can drive. " You tell them. 

Almost everyone turns to beam at you. 

" No, no. Not you, you drive like we're in Fast & Furious. " He points out. 

You grin. 

" Then she can be back up driver. " Yoongi gives you fake hope. 

" Back up driver? We already have enough drivers though.-"

" Yeah, we can't have you drive on national tv. " Jin says quickly. 

You laugh but don't bother with it. 

This can only mean you'll be in charge of the audio right? 

Soon after they're making a song about Bon Voyage. 

You can't really follow, but you clap along anyway. 

The scene wraps up with everyone clapping. 

-

A Few Months Later

" Yah! I went shopping with Y/N especially for this! " Jin says as his bandmates bully him. 

You don't pay a lot of attention, instead busy with helping the boys pack the last stuff and checking up on everyone. 

Soon enough a staff asked you aside. 

" Yeah? " You asked her. 

" This is for you, as you're coming with and the boys' are sponsored by Fila. The company thought it'd be nice if you'd at least have a jacket of the same brand too. " She smiles. 

" Oh, that's really nice. Thank you. "  You smile at her. 

She hands you a soft pink wintercoat. It's admittedly not your colour, nor your style, but you take the jacket gratefully, happy that they at least thought of you. 

" I look good in whatever I wear. " You hear Jin say. 

You come up to the mirror beside him, checking out the jacket on yourself. 

" Noona, your jacket looks nice on you too. " Jungkook compliments you. 

You smile at him. 

" Thank you! A staff member gave it to me, it's from the company. " You beam. 

And then they're arguing over Namjoon's accent. 

" We may be in the same group, but during our days off, I only saw Jimin hyung and Hobi hyung. And Y/N Noona. " Jungkook tells the camera, smiling cheekily at him as you give him a look. 

You too went to visit him on his birthday. 

" Yah! I called you so often! " Jin argues. 

Jungkook doesn't bother with Jin's complaint. 

From there the talk is mostly chaotic. First Jin's asking about an extra suitcase (which is really yours), Taehyung is showing of his Ramen noodles, Jimin has finally arrived and you found out that Yoongi's washing up. 

" At least someone showers. " You tease your boyfriend as you nudge him playfully, thinking of the small meeting a few months back. 

" Yah! I shower too! You of all people know that. " He shakes his head, playing along. 

You grin.

Soon enough you engage in small talk with Namjoon, and you can hear Jin somewhere in the back. 

" Compared to when you went to Malta-" The staff member begun. 

" We took a lot more this time, didn't we? " Jin says. 

" My pillow, something to hug when I have to sleep separately from Y/N, a down coat, fleece, pajamas. I also packed some slippers. And some of Y/N's clothes didn't fit it her suitcase, so it's in mine. " Jin laughs. 

" Do we need to bring shampoo and conditioner? " Jin asks a few moments later as everyone's seated together on the couch. 

"  We should bring our own, we might not be able to bring them. " Yoongi points out. 

" I'm taking mine with me, you guys can use it too if you don't mind smelling like fruit. " You shrug. 

" We can also get them at the airport. " Jungkook suggests. 

" Right, Duty-Free. "

 And then they suddenly spring to the topic of food, and before hopping over to talking about who's going to be the accountant. 

You don't bother adding in on that, you've never traveled with a group of eight before, and you aren't really willing to try when it comes down to it. After that, you're all tacking up your suitcases. 

Soon after they're suddenly grabbing some random bags, and Hoseok finds money. 

How they forget money, you don't know. 

You all sing the new Bon Voyage theme song before you finally set off towards the airport. 

" Did you search for 'huge luggage' when you bought your bag? " Yoongi teases Jungkook, though his bag is just as big. 

You're walking in front of the two, your left arm linked with Jin's right, your suitcase in your right hand and your backpack on top of it. 

You turn to give him a look. 

" I'm pretty sure we all did. " You point out. 

After a moment of rare silence (The only thing you hear is the rolling of suitcases), Jin claps again. 

" Bon Voyage! " 

" Why is no one reacting? " He asks the camera with a grin. 

" Bon Voyage! " Jungkook pitches in late. 

A moment later, the scene cuts, and you all get on the bus. 

You sit in the back with Jungkook and Hoseok. 

" How did you spend your vacations? " The producer asks them. 

They all each start talking about their vacation. 

Yoongi mentions his finished mixtape, Namjoon visited lots of museums and went to Europe, Hoseok points out about how he hasn't seen most of them in a while, Jimin basically went everywhere, from Korea to Russia, and Jungkook worked on some songs. 

" Jin what did you do in the vacation? " A staff member asks. 

You snort. 

" I spent half the time sleeping and half the time playing games. " He admits. 

" I went on dates with Y/N too. " He says quickly after. 

" It's no surprise, at least he made time for you. " Namjoon grins, looking at you. 

" I forced him. " You joke. 

" I wasn't that bad. But I mostly did play games whenever Y/N wasn't around. Or slept. " He nods along to his own words sleepily. 

" Then I realized I couldn't keep living like that, and so I met up with some friends too. " He laughed. 

" You had an important realization. " Hoseok comments. 

" I did. " Jin grins

After that came the question of Taehyung's where abouts and he mostly traveled the outskirts with friends. Most were shook when he mentioned one of his friends already being married. Jin too gave you a quick glance at the mention of marriage. Taehyung also mentioned working on a few songs too. Hoseok came soon after, and he mostly worked on his solo song 'Chicken Noodle Soup', and chilled at his apartment. 

After that they spoke about their pets. When the question came if you had any, you shook your head, though you did mention that your parents owned two cats. 

After that you all got a 'travel guide' made by crew for New Zealand. You didn't open it yet, instead opting to read through on the plane. 

Before you know it, you've all arrived at the airport.

And before you know it, you and Jin are waving the other boys off. 

" Bye guys! " 

" Bye! "

" Have a safe flight! "

" So they can't come? " Jimin asked, as Yoongi did so at the same time. 

" They can. " The staff answered shortly. 

" Huh, so you can't? " Jungkook asks you, still confused. 

" No, we can, we'll just have to take a different flight, we'll probably arrive a few hours later. " Jin tells Jungkook. 

" We have a connecting flight, we'll probably arrive around the same time. " Yoongi points out. 

" As long as you two can come it's fine. " Jungkook comments. 

[ Due to issues with Y/N and Jin's travel documents, the two are unable to board the same flight as the members. Luckily, they're able to take a different flight, and arrive an hour later. ]

Time flies, and before you know it, the two of you are walking in the airport, just having checked in. 

" Y'know, I might as well have forgotten my password. " Jin jokes. 

You shake your head. 

The humor appeared to be low budget. 

Soon after he's catching up with Army through the camera, simply babbling about his plans as you too listen, until, 

" Oh, is that RJ? " He wonders, looking at a shop. 

You sigh. 

" Oh please not again, we have so many of them-"

" Let's be cute and get matching RJ's Y/N. I'll pay. " He says, pulling you along with him as your arms are once again looped. 

Before you know it, the two of you are at the check out, with two matching RJ plushies. He's got a pretty big one, while you've got a smaller, cuter one. 

Soon enough it is time to get on your flight, and time,, flies,, by. 

" Now, we are going to find the other members. " Jin informs the camera as the two of you finally walk out of the airport. 

A crew member tells him it's all good like this, and he turns the camera off, handing it to the staff member. 

" Don't you think it's a little awkward to talk to a camera? " You ask Jin as the two of you and two other staff members get on a cab thing to go to the other members. 

He shrugs, holding out a hand for you to help you get in the car as the car has a bit of a elevation. 

" Not really, we're pretty used to having camera's on us by now. " He tells you honestly. 

You hum, and soon enough everyone's in the car, and easy conversation flows through. 

It doesn't take all too long before you're at the destination. 

Once you are spotted by the other members in the parking lot, Hoseok is the first to hop over, basically jumping on your boyfriend. 

You chuckle, being used to their way of greeting each other. 

" Y/N! " Hobi smiles, looping an arm around your shoulder casually as he leads to the rest, just as Jimin literally hops onto Jin. 

Jimin fetches your suitcases as Jin is quickly waved inside to do training. 

As Jin goes inside, you turn to help Jimin, Hoseok's arm falling off as you do so. 

" Wait, let me help with that. " You call, jogging over to help him. 

The two of you get it done quickly, and soon enough you're being informed by staff of the facility about the campervan. 

The water seems to be a bit of a problem. 

" Look,  how about we all shower together?" Jungkook suggests.

" Except for Y/N of course. " jungkook adds quickly as both you and Jin send him a look. 

" Let's coordinate time. " Hoseok suggests. 

" Yah, how do we do that? We can't control everything! " Jin complains. 

Luckily, the staff comes with a solution. 

" There's holiday parks, campervans can go there too. They have shower and toilet accommodations. " He quips helpfully. 

" That sounds much better. " You laugh. 

" Okay, let's only use the campervan's toilet for emergency. " Yoongi adds. 

" If you're about to die. " Namjoon pops. 

" Let's shower all at once too. " Jungkook keeps trying. 

" We can't shower long. "

" Only 5 minutes, after that, cut the water. " Jin says, as does Hoseok.

A ton of questions later, everyone's once again getting their suitcases, and Yoongi loads it into the campervan. Soon after all of you are clapping along again. 

" Jungkook did you bring your dumbbells again? " Jin jokes. 

" That's not my suitcase. " Jungkook informs. 

" That's mine actually, sorry. " You grin, not actually feeling sorry. 

Once that's over with, there's a small discussion about who's driving what car. It settles with Jungkook driving the campervan and Jin driving the SUV. 

" Where are we going? " You hear most around you asking. 

" The guide book mentioned (a random restaurant). " You tell them. 

" Alright, if you say so. " Jin says, already getting the navigation started without further questions. 

The other car either can't hear you or doesn't listen, as they instead listen to the producer, who agrees with you. 

[ A/N: Oh my god this is a 3.4 k chapter folks,, never done dat before. Anyway, how did you guys like it?  Also, no, there will be no smut in this story, but keep in mind that Jin & reader are both of age and in a 9 year relationship. ]

[vro0m]

vro0m’s rewatch - 57/288

2010 Spanish GP

Recap + GIFs !

Soooo... They managed to come back even with Eyjafjallajökull.

Quali report : Lotus gained a lot of pace but it still wasn't enough. Williams are very slow. They have a new front wing that seems to make their pace even worse somehow. Alonso almost crashed into Nico in the pitlane in an unsafe release. Ferrari got a 13,500£ fine for it. The new fin on the Mercedes really worked for Schumacher who finally out-qualified Nico for 6th. Alonso is 4th, Jenson is 5th, Lewis is 3rd, Seb is 2nd in a RedBull front row. Horner says that compared to the one they had in China, the current car is about 30% new, which sounds insane. The amount of updates they kept doing during the season is seriously insane.

Formation lap.

And they're racing!

Lewis is still in 3rd. 10 laps in nothing is going on. Then the pit stops begin. Schumacher. Massa. Rosberg’s pitstop is weird, he was given a green light then he stopped just before the lane and then his front right brake caught on fire. Alonso pits from 4th, Seb from 3rd (wait I thought he was 2nd) also Button... Oop, they had a problem with his right rear, he lost a bunch of time and is now behind Schumacher. Lewis comes in too, as well as Webber... Oh god... As he came out a Virgin was slowing down right at the exit of the pitlane on the track trying to get out of the way as Seb was coming right behind and Lewis and Seb almost collided avoiding the Virgin and Seb was pushed off the track a little and Lewis came out in front of him! He's second!

Lol. Lewis comes on the radio and says "Charlie!" and goes on explaining that what that Virgin car did was very dangerous. Just. Casually addressing the race director directly in the middle of a race.

40 laps in, Lewis says he's losing grip. 20 laps later he's setting fastest laps though. Seb is struggling with his brakes to the point Redbull is clearing space in the garage in case they need to retire.

NOOO I saw it coming. With just one lap left Lewis has gone off and his car is damaged, it's over. He was P2 but he pushed too far, as he does. Remember when he spun in Italy 2009? Exact same thing. I'm so frustrated. Yeah it was a sudden puncture. Oh he's so sad.

And it's the end of the race...

Webber wins, Massa 2nd, Alonso 3rd. In the end Lewis classified 14th.

Lewis says it was a good race for him, he had fun but of course he's disappointed. He says the team did a good job and it was great to come here with such a faster car. It would have been good to be P2 for the team, but these things happen. He doesn't know what it was but they'll find out. He was just cruising to the finish line, even though it was impossible to catch Webber.

[theglowstickchronicles]

New Job Adventures... Kind Of

I know I said I wanted to get this all out on "paper" last week, but I got pulled into an internet spiral like it was 2010 and I was in my college dorm. It was impressive. And then work sucked me in like the Vacuum of Hell that it is.

Anyway.

For 2 1/2 years I’ve been the educator on the unit I worked on as a staff nurse, and if you’ve been following me for any length of time you’ve known that I struggle with a lot of aspects of the job. It's a stepdown/progressive care unit but we are a community hospital so we don't get too crazy. We don't do hemodynamic monitoring, certain drips, no vents, etc. Part of my struggle has been elevating the acuity of the patients on the unit but, since we are union, it's... mostly been a waste of time.

HOWEVER.

The educator in intensive care unit (ICU) is retiring next year. Her position has been posted since before I entered education and while we've had a few applicants, we have not hired anyone. We offered to 3 people, 2 declined due to money (government hospital = shit pay, comparatively) and 1 declined due to personal reasons/ we think she got knocked up and was only coming to us for the health benefits AKA free IVF. So in 3 years, only 3 qualified candidates. Fastforward to 2021 when the current educator reminds us that "less than one year until retirement!"

Oh. Oh God. If she retires I am going to be stuck "covering" them until we hire someone which means they will have no educator, just me harassing them about audits and CPR cards. And while I know a lot of my followers reading this aren't healthcare workers, but no educator in the ICU = bad news bears. Especially our ICU, which has been on the struggle bus for the past 5 years and has only gotten worse with covid. For example tonight we had not a single nurse on who had ever taken a balloon pump so that was a fun change of shift.

Cue this girl, who is now training in the ICU to take over when their educator retires in 10 months! I am super nervous because I'm not an ICU nurse, but I am spending a lot of time training, orienting, shadowing, taking extra online courses, etc. all so that I am ready. And let me tell you...

The ICU staff has been SO supportive. Today was literally my 3rd day orienting down there (my schedule is 47 shades of fucked up for the next 6+ months while I orient down there but still cover the stepdown unit until they hire someone on that unit) and they are already telling me I am a "real ICU nurse". They are all telling me how excited they are, how appreciative they are that I wanted to get trained, how well they think I'm going to do, even reaching out to me AT HOME to congratulate me and tell me to just holler if I need anything.

YOU GUYS. Coworkers that don't hate me and see me as one more "nurse leader" who doesn't know WTF is going on. I'm so excited.

Terrified, granted. So far I've cared for cardiac, neuro, and hepatorenal patients and seen swans, pacers, milrinone, a vent, precedex, a ventric, and hemodynamic monitoring. I have a ton to learn. And we haven't even broached the subject of being the one who responds to RRTs/ codes.

But still... it is so nice to feel appreciated and wanted.

It is going to be an extremely difficult year, 2021. I am going to have to do a ton of studying and somehow manage to do all the work I've been doing in my "40 hour" (sometimes 50 hour) workweeks, all in 16 hours of paid time (lmao). My schedule is... so strange due to classes and orientation and online courses. But still.... so exciting.

[gundamcalibarney]

Green Arrow having conversations (ft. a few other engines)

that’s it, that’s the whole thing.

reblogs are appreciated!

(story below the readmore)

1963

“So Spencer,” Green Arrow started, the record breaking A4 gave him a look. “how is he?”

the A4 scoffed, “still as pompous as ever, he doesn’t shut up about being the Duke and Duchess’s private engine, he told me about how Sodor’s stuck in it’s old ways, but i think he means that in ‘there aren’t any A4s!’ kind of way.”

Green Arrow , “is that so. well i do hope to visit the island one day, i heard that it’s really nice there!”

“oh yes, i’ve heard Scot talk about it, though it’s mostly relating to Cousin Gordon.” Mallard huffed. “i heard that a lot of weird shit goes on there.”

“like what?”

“ghost sightings, accidents caused by non-locomotive rolling stock, somehow they got liveries from every colour of rainbow…” Mallard listed off. “just a lot of stuff.”

“well that sounds lovely!” Green Arrow exclaimed cheerfully.

if he had a drink Mallard would spit it out in shock, “What? you call a crash caused by trucks Lovely?”

“it definitely sounds more exciting there than here if i’m going to be frank.” Green Arrow chuckled. “and how’s being the record breaker hm?”

“Cousin Gordon’s dome’s going to fly off trying to beat 126 miles.” Mallard joked.

“you mean that metaphorically yes?”

Mallard then remembered the City of Truro telling him something along those lines,

“when i went to Sodor i was told by the press that the NRW’s number 4’s top blew off while he was attempting to run 100 miles per hour, i can’t really hold anything against him though since i get where he’s coming from, i think i would’ve done the same!”

“…uh huh.”

1990

the No. 1 Sudrian tank engine approached the green V2, “you’re a cousin of Gordon right?”

“oh yes indeed i am!” Green Arrow smiled. “how is that big sausage anyway?”

Thomas’ face flushed angrily, “Jealous of me that’s what!”

Green Arrow raised a brow, “really?”

“probably because I’M here and not him, surrounded by Famous engines and all.” Thomas groaned.

“he’d probably boast about being with Famous and Well known engines like you and practically everyone else here!” Thomas ranted.

the V2 chuckled, “it would be more of a begrudging family reunion than anything, especially on Spencer and Gordon’s part.”

“so what were you like before all this preservation and dieselation stuff?” Thomas asked to get his mind off of Gordon.

Green Arrow let out a laugh, though it didn’t feel like a very humorous one, or a very happy one,

“my siblings and i were built to run fast good trains,” he said. “but we did it So well that they let us pull expresses in the end.”

“now i’m the only of my sort left.” he ended off with a sigh, his face now showing a combination of pain and nostalgia.

2010

“So how’s permanent retirement doing for you so far.” Mallard asked his cousin.

“not going too bad so far.” Green Arrow answered in a chipper tone.

“no hard feelings about being a static display?” Mallard questioned.

“not really, why do you ask?”

“Arrow you’re basically stuck, in One place, for the rest of your life.” Mallard emphasised slowly. “then again considering you it can certainly be no worse than what happened with Jackson.”

“how is he as of now?” Green Arrow asked, concern laced in his voice.

“in a dour mood, as in a Really dour mood, can’t really blame him though.” Mallard informed.

Green Arrow’s face fell, “ah, well tell him i send my regards.”

“yeah i will.” Mallard responded.

2012

“it’s nice to see some of the other Gresleys here.” smiled Green Arrow.

“and the baby.” Riley noted, her tone sharp and rather hard, The Great Marquess snickering and Mallard rolling his eyes.

Green Arrow noticed Tornado’s cheeks flushing red and their eyes darting away, “Well i agree that they’re a young one, but i think they’re a nice engine, sure they’re not a Gresley but who says you need to be one to be a good engine?”

Riley scoffed at Green Arrow’s words, Tornado was shocked indeed, the V2 gave the new build a wink and smile.

“besides there are a lot of not-Gresleys here Riley.” Green Arrow added.

“also Riley, just shut up.” Mallard deadpanned, Green Arrow frowned at the addition.

“Mallard!” Arrow called out in a scolding tone, the blue A4 rolling his eyes while the new build giggled.

2021

“how are you taking the move so far?” no. 251 asked.

“it’s a bit cramped but i can manage, i can’t believe they got ol’ Cock o’ the North’s nameplate, and it Is nice to be back in Doncaster.” Green Arrow replied with a smile.

“say i’ve heard the people who made Tornado are making a new P2 engine.” no. 251 mentioned.

“oh yes i’ve known, Tornado told me about the new build P2 a couple years back, Prince of Wales i’ve heard.” Green Arrow noted.

“Which means i’m getting a step-cousin, and then after that they’ll make a Thompson B1!”

“so basically the big three LNERs?” no. 251 asked. “like, Gresley,Thompson, and Peppercorn?”

“Most likely!” Green Arrow smiled.

a brief pause between the two green engines.

“say we’re going to be here for the next 3 years right?” no. 251 then asked.

“Indeed, which means we’ll be stuck with each other for a while.” remarked Green Arrow.

Well this’ll be a nice 3 years.

[qqueenofhades]

Fake dating AU for the idiot Heartrender Husbands! I beg of you!

As ever, I am preposterously easy to enable, and since they will eventually make an appearance in A Phantom in Enchanting Light, I decided to write their backstory for that verse. Also, “fake dating but it’s only fake because they’re both idiots” is an Aesthetic. I love them.

Moscow, 2010

The guy is most definitely late. Fedyor got here early – probably too early, since they’re supposed to meet at eleven and he arrived by quarter past ten – but it’s now 11:08 and still no sign of him. Fedyor has claimed a corner table in the coffee shop just off Red Square with its splendid old tsarist-era décor, surrounded by the murmur of conversation and clicking laptop keys as his fellow Muscovites get on with their daily lives. The rule is fifteen minutes, yes? If Ivan Sakharov doesn’t show up in another seven, Fedyor is free to bail. But it’s been so long, and Nadia, the mutual friend responsible for this set-up, has begged Fedyor to give him a chance. And since it is understandably difficult to date as a gay man in Russia, Fedyor’s patience must be tested longer than usual. He sips his flat white and glances at the door again. Still no Ivan.

Fedyor opens his phone and checks the photo that Nadia sent him, trying to decide if this man is attractive enough to compensate for his tardiness. It’s hard to tell. It is 11:14, and he is absolutely about to pack up and leave by no later than 11:25, when a tall, grim-faced man in a red windbreaker strides in. He stops short, glances around, spots Fedyor, and powers over with such single-minded determination that Fedyor fears he’s about to be arrested. “Hello,” he says curtly. “I am Ivan Ivanovich Sakharov. I believe you are waiting for me?”

“Ah – ? I am Fedyor Mikhailovich Kaminsky, yes,” he manages, offering a hand, which Ivan crushes in a Terminator grip. “It’s – nice to meet you?”

Ivan snorts, pulls out the other chair, and drapes his jacket over it, then orders a small plain coffee (black like his soul, evidently). Then he returns, sits down, and claps his hands as if he is calling a misbehaving class to attention. “Where are you from?” he barks. “How long have you lived in Moscow?!”

Fedyor continues to gape. He’s genuinely not sure if this is Ivan attempting to get to know him on speed-run, or if he’s being interrogated by a FSB agent who can’t even act for two seconds like he’s not. It’s ominously possible. Dmitry Medvedev is the president and there are hopes that there might be a social liberalization, but the Orthodox patriarchs and the far right have been increasingly agitating against Russia’s embattled LGBTQ community, and things could just as easily get worse. Is this a setup or a setup? Nadia would never knowingly put him in a dangerous situation, of course, but maybe she was likewise fooled. You’d think that if this was a sting, they could have found a guy who was actually capable of pretending to be on a date, but maybe that’s the point? What the hell is going on here?

Fedyor opens his mouth, then shuts it. As a matter of fact, he is originally from Nizhny Novgorod, but moved to Moscow for university and has lived here for seven years, but if Ivan is with the FSB, he probably already knows that. Is this a trick? Is Ivan trying to match him to some police intelligence file or see if he’s a liar? Fedyor is seriously about to get up and walk out (or maybe sprint out) when Ivan, perhaps realizing that he’s blowing this to a heretofore unprecedented degree, says, “Sorry. I am from Krasnoyarsk. I enjoy rugby.”

Of course he likes rugby if he’s from Krasnoyarsk. This is a disaster. “Uh, what side?”

“Krasny Yar,” says Ivan, in the tone of a man about to stand up and belt out the fight song. “I also enjoy football. Yenisey Krasnoyarsk. Though I have begun supporting Lokomotiv since I came to Moscow. That was five years ago.”

So, he’s definitely a hooligan. Fedyor does his best to keep smiling. In the flesh, Ivan is definitely not unattractive. His hair is crisp and brown, there are glints of hazel in his eyes, and he has that hard, chiseled handsomeness that Fedyor always ends up getting suckered into. Except for the fact that he is lively, extroverted, and outgoing, likes clubbing and mingling and making friends, and this man does not appear to have ever heard of a single one of those things. What was Nadia thinking? It’s not like her to whiff this badly. Or did she have to be so circumspect in asking Ivan if he would like to meet Fedyor that, even if he’s not an undercover cop, he is in fact clueless about the true nature of this social engagement? Thinks it’s guys being pals?

“Did you have somewhere you were coming from earlier?” Fedyor asks, after another excruciating silence. “Is that why you were – ?”

“My apologies. The bus was late. I am normally very punctual.” Ivan scowls ferociously, as if the bus ever dares to do such a thing again, he will personally murder it. “What hobbies do you enjoy, Fedyor Mikhailovich?”

“I think you can call me Fedyor, yes?” They are clearly nowhere near “Fedya” and “Vanya” just yet, but “Fedyor Mikhailovich” always makes Fedyor look around warily for his grumpiest professor at MSU. He tries to think of subtle conversational gambits to find out what Ivan knows, without being obvious. Oh God, he really should just cut his losses, but something – perhaps the pathetic conviction that even a terrible date is better than no date at all – keeps him in his seat. Presuming that he does get out of here alive, he will call up Nadia straightaway and ask her many, many questions, mostly consisting of Why??! “Well,” Fedyor says at last. “I like having fun?”

“I also enjoy fun,” Ivan says, stone-faced. “I am very funny.”

Russian humor is normally extremely deadpan, to the point that Fedyor does wonder if Ivan is in fact a diabolical troll genius, but somehow he doesn’t think so. The rest of the conversation proceeds in this fashion, but by the end of an hour, Fedyor still has no idea if he has just been on a date or a trip to the gulag. Ivan gets up, administers another bone-crushing handshake, thanks him for his time, and marches out. Fedyor can practically hear the Red Army Choir thundering some patriotic anthem in his wake.

When he gets home that afternoon, Fedyor is resolved to write off the whole thing, except it was weirdly kind of not as bad as he first thought, maybe, somehow. If nothing else, he’s fascinated by this, like watching a slow-motion train crash. He takes out his phone with the intention of calling Nadia, only to see a text message from an unfamiliar number. When he opens it, it reads, Hello. Your company was agreeable today. Thank you. Perhaps we could meet again next week. Please reply yes or no. The message uses the formal styles of address, and some of the spellings are slightly old-fashioned. He has also signed it – Иван Сахаров – in case there might be some confusion with another Ivan the Terrible at Dating of Fedyor’s recent acquaintance. It is a bit like getting a text from the undertaker.

Fedyor stares at it, insanely tempted to burst out laughing, and finally, just because now he’s too curious to refuse, texts back his gracious acceptance. Still chuckling, he makes dinner, and then, as his phone pings with Ivan’s response, wonders in horror what on earth he is getting himself into.

This is how things continue for the next six weeks. Ivan and Fedyor meet up for the second time, stroll sedately around one of Moscow’s many city parks together, then part ways, and this time it’s Fedyor’s turn to ask if he would like to do it again. He isn’t sure exactly why, except that Ivan is unexpectedly easy to spend time with, and he nods in stoic approval of whatever Fedyor says. Of course, they follow the usual rules of dating which are especially important in Russia: don’t talk about politics, don’t talk about religion, don’t talk about America, don’t talk about Ukraine, don’t talk about Chechnya. From what Fedyor can glean, Ivan’s views tend to the doctrinaire, but he is surprisingly undogmatic, and willing to at least act as if he has an open mind. If he was an FSB agent, it feels like he would have busted Fedyor by now, but maybe he is waiting for him to do something unmistakably gay. That’s not it. Right?

Nadia calls, wanting to know how it’s going, and Fedyor grills her for forty minutes over whether Ivan is a law enforcement plant, a lonely guy looking for a friend, the world’s most method practical joker, or just extremely stupid. Nadia insists that he is actually very nice once you get to know him (HA, thinks Fedyor) and has no particular affection for either the ruling classes or the oligarchs. He can certainly be an acquired taste, but he is not evil.

Forced to accept it, still chickening out of asking Ivan whether he knows they’re dating, wondering if they are dating, if Ivan knows that Fedyor knows they’re dating, if Fedyor only thinks he knows that they are dating while they are not actually dating, or if Ivan thinks he knows that they’re dating while they’re… whatever the fresh-fried fuck is truly happening here, Fedyor trudges off for what has become his almost-weekly rendezvous with Ivan the-Maybe-Not-Quite-So-Terrible. They manage to have a few conversations verging on meaningful, and Fedyor has found himself telling Ivan about his family and Nizhny Novgorod and other such things. Fedyor likes to talk and Ivan likes to listen, though he breaks in now and again with a bone-dry quip. He’s still never what you would call loquacious, or easily forthcoming, but Fedyor likes that. Ivan is tough, complex, enigmatic, guarded, occasionally willing to let down his walls but only if the other person is worth it, and Fedyor finds, to his surprise, that he wants to be worth it. If this is a long-con mind game, he almost doesn’t care. (Almost.)

The problem, however, is that they’ve been seeing each other regularly for a month and a half and they haven’t gotten any closer than walking through a park, outdoors, in full view of their fellow comrades. Even the first time Fedyor takes the plunge and invites Ivan to his apartment, they sit three feet apart on the couch, watching a badly-Russian-subtitled version of Die Hard and providing critical commentary. Fedyor’s English is a lot more fluent than Ivan’s, and his middle-class family, while not exactly wealthy, is definitely better off than Ivan’s hardscrabble clan of miners and loggers in Siberia. That upbringing certainly does explain, to some degree, why Ivan is the way he is, and Fedyor wonders anxiously if Ivan views him as an insufferably posh city boy. Ivan barely finished high school and went straight to working in a Krasnoyarsk aluminum factory. He definitely did not faff around Moscow State University and attend global development seminars in Paris.

Nonetheless, despite their obvious differences, they do get along, and Fedyor is unable to deny the fact that he would, if it’s all right with everyone, like it to be more than that. Of course, finding out if Ivan knows, etc. etc., has been the paramount challenge, and there is no way to find out other than to go for it. Fedyor is 75% sure that they’ve been going steady for two months, but if it’s actually the other 25%, this is going to get awkward in a hurry. Is this essentially a fake relationship, or is it only fake because they’re both idiots?

After having duly commended his soul to God, Fedyor invites Ivan over on Saturday night. He rents a tiny flat by himself since he’s been burned on rooming with strangers, but Ivan is used to it by now, and it doesn’t feel too small with the two of them. Fedyor strains his limited culinary skills to cook supper, probably making his babushka cluck her tongue and sigh in a judgmental fashion back in Nizhny Novgorod, and they sit down and eat in silence for five minutes. Then Fedyor says, “Vanya?”

The consistent use of the diminutive has started sometime in the last few weeks, neither of them remember quite when. Ivan doesn’t correct him. “Yes?”

Fedyor clears his throat. “Do you…” He winces. “Do you… like me?”

“Yes?” Ivan says again, looking confused. “I would not have spent so much time with you if I did not, don’t you think? We are friends.”

“Yes, I know that we’re friends, but…” Fedyor looks at the ceiling. It doesn’t help, so he looks back at Ivan. “Are we… special friends?”

Ivan continues to look blank. “Are we?”

Fedyor resists the urge to tug at his collar, thinking that it’s a damn good thing that he didn’t go with his other idea of just leaning across the table and passionately kissing him. With absolutely no change of tone or expression, Ivan says, “Please explain. Special friends how?”

“Friends who want to…” Fedyor takes a deep breath. “Be… more than friends?”

“How?” Ivan orders again, ruthlessly. “Be clear, Fedya.”

“Are we maybe… boyfriends?” Fedyor’s voice squeaks on the word. “As in… we have feelings for each other that aren’t just… friendly? Like… feelings which are… romantic?”

Ivan continues to stare at him like a statue for several more seconds, and Fedyor contemplates the feasibility of tunneling directly through the floor of his apartment and running all the way to Latvia. Then at last, Ivan throws his head back and – startling Fedyor deeply – breaks into real, genuine, belly laughter, the kind that he has never heard from Ivan before. “Oh my,” he chortles, slapping the table. “Your face. You were sweating bullets.”

“WAIT, WHAT!?!” Fedyor pushes his chair back and stands up with a clatter, incandescently outraged. “Are you – were you messing with me?!!”

“Maybe a little,” Ivan says, wiping his eyes. “You know, all this time, I have not been sure if you are shy or a terrible prude. Why haven’t you kissed me yet?”

“God’s Mother in Heaven – ” Fedyor feels another prick of disloyalty to his babushka for swearing on the Bogomater, but some people deserve it. All inhibitions forgotten, he charges at Ivan like a runaway train, as Ivan springs out of his own chair in readiness, and starts pounding on his chest in transports of fury. “You are the worst! You are the worst person ever! For two months, what have we been doing?! I have been afraid this whole time that maybe you don’t know what’s really going on, and now – ?! You are the worst!”

Ivan catches Fedyor’s flailing arms, holds them away from him, and picks him up bodily, swinging him around and pushing him against the wall. “Maybe I am just a dumb country boy from Siberia,” he remarks, “but even I am not that stupid, Fedyor Mikhailovich.”

“I hate you,” Fedyor pants, their faces and their mouths an inch away from each other. “Get out of my apartment.”

“Mmm?” Ivan cocks an eyebrow. Then he plants both hands on either side of Fedyor’s head, leans in, and deeply, savagely captures Fedyor’s mouth with his own.

Every remaining vestige of barely rational thought in Fedyor’s head evaporates in screaming shock. He still wants to shove Ivan away, knee him in the balls, or break a chair over his head, but if he did that, he would have to stop kissing him, and he can’t do that either. He moans, Ivan’s tongue takes the opportunity to slip into his mouth, their hands clutch and claw and their legs melt out from under them, they turn away or break contact only to gulp a breath before diving back in again, and the next time Fedyor is aware of anything, they have collapsed on his kitchen floor in a wrung-out, entangled, gasping heap. Ivan says in his ear, “Do you still want me to leave, Fedya?”

“No,” Fedyor manages. “Because now, I am really going to make you suffer.”

Ivan’s smile is dark and full of promise. He pulls back, gets to his feet, and holds out a hand. “Then I’ll meet you in the bedroom.”

(Ivan doesn’t leave Fedyor’s apartment that night. He doesn’t leave it the next night either. At the end of the week, Fedyor calls up Nadia and informs her that he hates her so much, and when they do next see each other, he’ll shake her by both shoulders and then thank her for introducing him to the no-good, truly awful, very bad love of his life.)