#thanks pigeon for the caption idea

[alexisrosemullens]

#only one is fully committed to having his dick out

[herofics]

Hey when you have the time, Literally any mha character with a reader (platonic or romantic) who just quotes vines on the daily in any situation. if you don’t like the idea that’s fine, i hope you are taking care of yourself, remember to drink some water today :>

This seemed like an easy one to write so I just did it. Also I’m so thankful you said vines because I could not quote a single tiktok. Also vine just has that freaking energy I haven’t really seen on any of the tiktoks I’ve come across. I just did some of the class so it’s platonic, and it’s more like the whole class with vines, rather than just the reader

•Mina is the one that gets every reference, like literally none of them get past her

•Also the two of you just make the rest of the class groan constantly, because while most of them also get a lott of the references but it’s just so constant they’re like “please, enough already”

•You and Mina were presenting one your your pair projects and there was graph on it, so of course you decided to play the freaking “look at this graph” bit, because why the hell not

•Honestly most of the class finds it just a tad irritating, but it doesn’t stop you from doing it

•There are some who appreciate it though, like Kaminari, Jirou and Midoriya

•Those three, Mina and you are a bit of a pain sometimes, because you can just talk almost fully while quoting vines and it’s like a secret freaking language to some of the others 

•Then there’s Momo, Todoroki and Iida, who do not get it at all, like you will have to show them the vine and they’re still like “huh?” because they just don’t really get it

•You must educate them on the vine culture because they are clueless

•You took a picture of Tokoyami and some pigeons, and send it to the class group chat with the caption “look at all those chickens”

•You got permission from Tokoyami before doing that, because he found it funny as well

•Jirou’s room is just a freaking gold mine, because instrument, and there are so many music related vines

•When the class was prepping for the cultural festival, you were one of the dancers but using your amazing musical prowess (/s), you of course played/sang some of the classics like “I love you bitch, I ain’t gonna never stop loving bitch” and “Go suck a dick, suck a dick, suck mothafuckin dick…” etc

•Kaminari joined you in the singing these wholeheartedly

•Bakugou knows a ton of vines as well, but he refuses to partake in the whole thing, unless it’s to one up Midoriya or just use a vine as an insult in some way

•If there’s one thing the whole class can agree is that “they were roommates” when talking about the whole dorm situation

•Aizawa is going fucking crazy because he knows very little about the whole thing but some of it is also very funny to him, but he can’t really laugh about it, because you’re sometimes distrubing the class and he doesn’t want to encourage you or the others

•He often looks up the references he doesn’t get though because he wants to know

[aegor-bamfsteel]

i need to see what modern-style propaganda and memes would be made for the war of the five kings

Unfortunately, the circumstances that led to the creation of memes (a widely literate population, instantaneous global connection) are incompatible with a medieval fantasy setting as in War of the Five Kings. But I can try to give some hypothetical examples. Rumors of my memelord status are greatly exaggerated, but here are 5 low effort attempts:

Stannis with his Biggest non-Davos Fan

A thank-you to the GOT fan theorists for the idea that Ned warged into a flock of pigeons after his death, allowing me to use the original meme’s caption:

Battle of the Blackwater (GRRM loves his underdogs)

Cersei: the icon we don’t deserve, but have anyway (according to Jaime)

The big dramatic misunderstanding of the series, in ancient meme form

…And another one bites the dust

…I think those are enough Bamfsteel Wot5k memes for…awhile. (I hope this has dispelled once and for all the idea that I take myself too seriously)

[the32ndbeat]

𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 | 𝐣.𝐲𝐧 - [ 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏 ]

pairing: stalker!jaehyun x fem!reader ( ft haechan and loona’s haseul )

word count: 1.7k

warnings: mentions of BDSM and mature themes

a/n: this is kinda short but I hope you guys like the first part of the ‘only you’ series!

masterlist

You were like a breath of fresh air and something like an alluring enigma amongst the common folk the moment you stepped through those doors. Your hair is swept up into a loose bun with stray locks falling around your face, framing it in the most beautiful way possible. The white cotton shirt you’re wearing is sheer and I can almost see the outline of your bra if only you weren’t wearing a cardigan over it but it’s ok. It looks flattering on you and does nothing to detract you from your beauty.

There is a hint of a smile on your lips, the sunshine illuminating the side of your face and bringing out the liveliness in your eyes that I rarely see among people these days. As you mutter your apologies and slide past an old man who has been staring at the same hammer for the last ten minutes, you exude grace even just by the way you walk and hold yourself.

“Hi, do you work here?”

It takes me a moment to register the fact that you are actually in front of me, looking me in the eye and talking to me. Your voice is as angelic and beautiful as you are, almost like music to my ears. I can already imagine how it would sound when I take you to bed and thinking about it makes me all tingly in the inside. I tap on the brass name tag pinned to my shirt and gesture towards the tool belt I have hanging loosely on my waist. Realisation dawns upon you, followed closely by mortification.

You smack yourself on your forehead, an embarrassed giggle escaping from those cute lips that I want on mine.

“I’m so sorry, that was so stupid of me…” You say and you squint to look at the tiny black letters on the name tag. “Jaehyun.”

“It’s completely alright. We all have moments like that,” I laugh and a smile tugs on your lips.

“It happens so much more often for me though.” You sigh and I wonder if anyone has ever made you feel like you’re any less intelligent than the average person. The thought of that makes me annoyed but I don’t dwell on it.

“Anyways, I was wondering if you guys sell ropes and duct tape here?”

Ropes and duct tape? My, my. What could you possibly need them for?

The question is itching at the back of my mind but I push it away as I flash you a bright grin.

“We do. Right this way.” I turn and you follow behind me.

Manoeuvring between shelves and people, we finally reach the rope section and it takes you a moment to get past a burly man blocking the aisle. He checks you out with those leery eyes of his as you walked towards me and internally I feel irritation creeping in. Creeps like that don’t deserve to look at you that way. You should be respected and men like that don’t respect women like you. I try not to think of how many times this must have happened to you without your notice as I gesture towards the spools of rope of all thickness and colours.

“We’ve got a wide selection here and you’re free to choose whichever you want and however long you want it.”

“Wow, you guys have every kind of rope here.” You said, amazement written all over your face as you grazed your fingers over the spools.

“Yeah, kind of essential since we are a hardware store after all.” I reply. How would those fingers feel on me?

You laugh and there it is again, that smile of an angel. You are so unlike other girls as cliche as that sounds and I can’t help but want to know more about you. Just who are you?

“You’re right. I ask some of the weirdest and most obvious questions ever sometimes, don’t mind me.”

I’d never mind if it’s you.

“I won’t, don’t worry.” I smile as I stuff my hands into my pocket and watch you take your pick of which rope to purchase. As you walked up and down the aisle, I can’t help but notice how snug those jeans looked on you. They look gorgeous on you, bringing out the shapeliness of your legs. When you turn your back to me, I try not to let my eyes drift down to your bottom.

“I’ll have about ten metres of this one!” You declare with a satisfied smile after a moment of deliberation, patting a spool of thin, straw rope.

“Alright,” I pull out a pair of scissors and measuring tape from my tool belt and get to cutting the rope.

“If you’re wondering why I’m buying rope and duct tape, I can assure you I’m not a kidnapper. I just realised how my shopping list could give you the wrong idea.” You say suddenly with a nervous chuckle and I raise my eyebrow at you.

You see the curious look on my face and continue, “Neither am I engaging in…BDSM… This isn’t a fifty shades of grey thing.” The flustered expression on your face is so cute, my heart could burst. What a cute and pretty face with such mature thoughts. Nobody said anything about fifty shades but here you are, assuming that was what I thought of. I wonder, just how dirty your brain actually is and realise with a start that you probably want me to know that you harbour such naughty thoughts so that’s why you said what you said.

I couldn’t hold back the chuckle at the back of my throat as I ask, “Then what is it?”

“I’m actually an architecture student at the local college nearby.” You say and I detect a hint of pride in your voice. You want to impress me - I can tell with that overly bright smile of yours when you said that.

“That’s amazing. Architecture must be pretty hardcore to study,” I say as I loop the cut rope over my elbow.

“It is,” you roll your eyes and groan. “I’m only a freshman and I haven’t even been here half a semester and I’m already dying.”

I laugh softly at your words and you smile. You like the attention I’m giving you.

“Well, it’s only going to get worse so I suggest taking it easy…” I trail off.

“Y/n.” You beam at me and I find myself replaying the sound of your name over and over in my head.

Y/n. Y/n. Y/n. What a charming name.

I grab some duct tape for you off the shelves and we head to the cash register which was as usual unattended to. Normally, I would have given Haechan a piece of my mind for his negligence again but this time, I couldn’t be more grateful.

“Is that all you’re purchasing for today, y/n?” I ask as I scan your items. I love the way your name rolls off my tongue, I could say it a thousand times and never get sick of it.

“Yup! Can’t really afford anything else at the moment either but I’ll probably be back when I need more supplies.” You sigh before adding, “College kid things.”

I’ve never been to college but I nod in an understanding way anyways and you grin.

“It’s just so tough these days, you know? Student loans and all plus the costs of living in the city? Insane.”

“Insane, indeed.” I repeat after you and as you hand me your credit card, our fingers touch briefly. Did you do that on purpose?

I take a good look at your credit card as you were staring out at the streets, seemingly preoccupied with a child who was chasing a flock of pigeons.

Y/n l/n.  

Hm, you could have given me cash but you gave me your credit card instead. You want me to know your name, not just your first name but also your last. I see what you’re doing.

I smile to myself as I proceed with the transaction. Bagging up your purchase, I pass them over to you and you say thank you. As you head out onto the street, you turn back and give me another of your dazzling smiles and I feel my heart stutter. How do you already have this effect on me?

I watch you glide down the streets outside with your hair flowing in the wind and the sunlight bringing out the brightness and liveliness in your eyes. The group of girls walking by can’t even hold a candle to you and as you walk past them, they regard you with envious looks which I can’t blame them for. You look simply beautiful.

Once you are out of sight, I whip out my phone.

Y/n l/n. Architecture student.

First, I open up instagram. A quick search of your name doesn’t yield any results. Huh, figures. I try searching up your college instead and this time, I’m slightly more successful.

I find the architecture faculty’s instagram page instead.

A simple scroll down the page shows me a freshmen group photo and I easily locate you within a heartbeat. How could I not?

In the list of tagged usernames, I find yours and…

Bingo.

I’m at your instagram profile and I’m shocked to find it on public mode. You’re not very cautious online and I’m not sure if your parents ever taught you about staying safe on the internet but even if they did, you clearly didn’t take them very seriously. I understand why you left it on public though. You want to be seen and to be heard. Well, here I am.

Barely a minute into looking through your instagram, I already have to control myself. The pictures you take are extremely flattering and you look exceptional in every single of one of them even though some of your post captions say otherwise.

I see a picture of a room’s interior from the corner of my eye and I click on it.

It’s a picture of you and another girl which I presume must be your roommate in a small room that looked more like a broom closet than an actual room. The captions say ‘Move-in day! Super excited and unfortunate to be in the same dorm as Haseul ugh ( jk love you )’

I smile despite myself. How cute.

You have a goofy smile on your face, your friend has her arms around your waist and the two of you look so happy. Yet, I find myself looking at something else instead.

Your window.

(part 2)

thank you to @ihearttbz​ for helping me to proofread this! ily ><

tagging: @hae-sicheng​ @soothingjae​ 

do send me an ask or pm if you want to be included in the taglist for the next part! 

[mcheang]

Jalil’s crazy theories

It was commonplace for Jalil to give voice to his outlandish ideas during a family dinner. While Alix would scoff and roll her eyes, their Father would smile and patronise his Son, silently wishing he would think of new scientific discoveries rather than fictional stories.

Seriously, his first theory that got him akumatized could have been the start of a beautiful romance novel.

Though Mr Kubdel admitted his Son needed to work on his crossover of ancient history and aliens.

One day, as Alix was showing off the school yearbook, Jalil took a look at her classmates and did a double take.

Theory #1

“Hey, Alix. Do you think (squints to find their names in the caption below) Marinette and Adrien could be Ladybug and Chat Noir?”

Alix bursts out laughing. “Marinette? As Ladybug? I love her and all, but she would sooner trip over her own feet than leap off a building. And Adrien can’t even recognise when a girl is interested in him, let alone flirt with one.”

Jalil was persistent though. “But look. Their eyes and hair match.”

Alix sighed. “Jalil, I am 100% sure there is more than one Parisian with blue eyes and black hair, or green eyes and blond hair.”

Mr Kubdel interrupted. “She has a point, Jalil.”

But the boy wasn’t deterred. “They are very likely to be the heroes though. The general consensus is that the heroes are high school students. And...” Jalil’s eyes widened.

Alix knew that look. It meant

Theory #2

“Could Gabriel Agreste be Hawkmoth?”

Mr Kubdel: Maybe you should cut down on the Star Wars marathons, Son.

Alix shrugged. Her class was up for punching either douchebag. If they were one and the same, it saves them time.

“I’m serious,” Jalil protested. “He’s a cold, aloof man. Even his own Son doesn’t know him that well. And his company logo is a butterfly.”

Alix: “I’m pretty sure Hawkmoth wouldn’t so dumb as to leave such an obvious clue to his identity.”

Jalil: We’re talking about a man who keeps bringing back a giant baby and Mr Pigeon.

Alix: ....touché. Ok, I’ll give you props for Gabriel being Hawkmoth, but you need to look for more candidates for who could be Ladybug and Chat Noir. My Friend Alya posted some of her theories on her blog.

Theory #3

Jalil: Don’t be so skeptic. Your friends have just as much chance as you of being a hero.

Alix blinks. “You think I could be a hero?”

Now it was Jalil who shrugged his shoulders. “Why not? You’re brave. You help others. Your physically fit enough to run after an akuma.”

Yeah. Fast as a rabbit. Not that her big brother knew that. Still, Alix quickly blinked back her tears before they could form. “Thanks, Jalil. That means a lot.”

Mr Kubdel beamed. It wasn’t often that he got to witness the siblings bonding. Then...

Theory #4

“So, how likely do you think are the chances of Hawkmoth and Mayura in a relationship. If they aren’t married, they are definitely dating.”

And the moment’s over.

The next day at school, Alix shares her theories. This happens just after Marinette botches another attempt to ask Adrien out. She tripped on her feet and Adrien had to catch her. Marinette was stunned speechless so Alya had to intervene and suggest a double date. Adrien agrees before commenting how nice it was to see movies with friends, never noticing Marinette’s prior glee and now disheartened expression.

Alya is reasonably skeptical about Jalil’s theory after that.

Marinette herself points out Gabriel had been Akumatized into the Collector.

Alix: So? We don’t know that Hawkmoth can’t akumatize himself. I just don’t know why he would choose that moment.

Marinette pauses. She has a very good guess as to why. She needs to talk to Chat ASAP!

Riiiing!

As soon as school is over.

[happyhollow-mellowmarsh]

A Day in the Life of Gumi

“Zzzz……”

The camera continued to film the sleeping bunny for a while longer, before a small banana was brought into the frame, closer to the camera. The stem was cracked, and immediately the rabbit woke up with a start, looking around for the source of the banana… Before letting out a yawn.

“Awawawa…” 

Yawn finished, the rabbit hopped over, and began to munch on the banana. A smattering of Japanese kana floated across the screen, with the corresponding English translations captioned.

“Ohayou, everybunny! It’s me, Bubblegum, everyone’s favourite bun-bun!” The subtitles spelled out even if the rabbit herself didn’t actually vocalize anything. “Sorry for waking up late, peko! I was celebrating my third birthday yesterday… There was so much soda and I tired myself out partying!”

As she continued to munch, the camera was set down on a table. Their owner stepped into the frame of view still holding the banana, revealing a young Japanese woman in a white dress and a black hair bow: those of you who had knowledge of the idol scene (or had just read the channel’s about page) recognized her as the underground idol known as TASOGARE, or Dusky to others.

“Mama’s here! I mean, she’s always behind the camera, but she’s here now! And I love her so much!” Her free hand gently ruffled the back of the bunny’s ears. “Awawa! She always pets me just right!” 

A soft melody started playing over the two of them, before the overlaid intro card spelled out just what you were in for:

The next scene faded into a lounge room, where Bubblegum was being chased by what looked to be a tiny italian greyhound, barking as he went. Watching them frolic from atop a couch was an interesting animal, one that looked like a large cat the size of a boxer dog, but had fluffy wool much like a sheep possessed. She regarded the two on the ground impassively, as if waiting for the perfect time to strike, or simply because there was nothing better to do.

“Today, I want to introduce everyone to my familiar friends! The iggy chasing me is Bucephalus, though most of us usually call him Buce as a nickname. Say something cool, Buce-kun!”

“Yipyipyipyipyiphellohellohello!!” The tiny dog finally caught up, and booped his snout onto the fluff of Bubblegum’s tail. “Tag!”

This prompted the bunny to turn tail and chase after him back, and would not have been able to catch up to his superior speed if not for the sudden appearance of the sheep-cat, who bounded off her couch and down to block one of the greyhound’s escape routes.

“And this is my cousin, Baaby! She’s a really strong and magical sheep-cat hybrid! Please don’t call her a shat, she doesn’t like that.”

He dodged the large feline with a whine. “No fair! Why are you on her side?” 

"Because you slept on me... again. And you drool in your sleep." Baaby mewled lazily, licking one of her paws.

The chase continued for a few seconds more, before Buce bounded straight into the camera and knocked it into a black screen, setting up the next scene transition.

An underground lake framed the scene this time, as Bubblegum hopped along the water’s edge. Finding the first of her two friends, she thumped a foot in a high-five against the tailfin of the winged magical fish that leapt out of the water.

“This is Astrid! She’s a fairy koi, and she likes to swim down here. Mama likes to help her friend feed Astrid whenever she has the time to.”

The camerawoman, presumably Dusky, holds out a handful of apple blossoms towards the water. The fairy koi’s eyes light up from a distance, and she jumps out of the lake in a miniature water bubble controlled by her own magic, before swimming in the air over to munch.

“OMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM!!”

Finishing up all of the flowers, the fish let out a burp and smiled. “Thank you! Much appreciated! Astrid is very happy and full.” She blew some water bubbles into the air above Bubblegum before swimming back to the lake, popping her own water bubble as she did.

“See you around, Astri-tan!” Bubblegum waved, before continuing to hop along the perimeter.

Eventually, she came across a majestic horse-like creature resting on the side bank of the lake, with mottled green skin and a mane that looked more like seaweed than hair. A bright red eye cracked open at the sudden presence, as the sea-horse lifted her head to regard the rabbit.

“This is Undaria! She’s a kelpie, and she’s also my sister! Well, technically, half-sister, her dad and my mama are dating and all, but she’s my sister all the same! Say hi, Unda-chan!”

The kelpie neighed softly, prompting Bubblegum to hop closer. “What is it now, Bubbles?”

The bun hopped onto her half-sister’s back, before beginning to run her face through the kelp. “I’m helping to groom you! Because I can!” As she continued to trim through the kelpie’s mane, Bubblegum chirruped softly, “I love my sis so much! She’s the tsun-tsun to my dere-dere!”

“What does that even mean?” Undaria whinnied haughtily. It did not stop her from allowing the grooming to happen, or from gently setting the rabbit back down onto shore once she was done.

“See you later, nee-chan!” Bubblegum thumped happily, before skittering away to a new setting.

Now she was in the middle of a pumpkin patch, nibbling on some pumpkin leaves. “Hello again! My next friends are flying at the moment, so I’ll introduce you to them when they come down!”

A few seconds later, and they did. A white pigeon with streaks of purple and red in his wings glided down to land on a pumpkin, followed shortly after by a pale yellow budgie with a dash of small white spots on his head. They raised a wing in greeting. 

“I’m Berry!” The pigeon coos, before he scratched his head. “Still don’t know what kind of berry I’m supposed to be, but I guess it depends on the day.” He eyes the camera, and the person behind it extends a baked cracker, which he comes over to eat.

“And I’m Alkonost! I- ooh, cracker.” Distracted, the budgie hopped over to munch on the cracker. “Where was I? Oh yeah, I’m visiting today! Mom works somewhere else usually, but her girlfriend was in the area so I tagged along.”

While the birds were busy, Bubblegum moved further down the pumpkin patch; once they were done consuming the cracker, they led the camera over to their next pair of familiars.

Unsurprisingly, the massive clydesdale horse stood out first. Towering over Bubblegum and the two birds by a magnitude of at least ten, he had a dark brown mane with a matching brown tail, and a chocolate brown body with white patches around his face and legs. A loose red bandana was tied around his neck, and part of his mane had been braided to rest behind one of his ears.

At his feet was a strange snake-like creature, but this one was distinctly less long and slithery, and more compact and chubby. A glow stick necklace circled around this one’s neck, and his forked tongue stole chunks of pumpkin flesh as he vibed, brown and green stripes vibrating.

“This is Johnny Kane!” Bubblegum introduced, gently thumping her paw against the stallion’s leg. “I’ve been trying to get him interested in Unda-chan for a while now, but since he only comes to visit every now and then, there’s never really been much time to schedule a date.”

Judging by the long face on the horse, both metaphorically and literally, she was the only one in support of the idea. “Charmed.”

“And this is King!” Despite the natural tendency for rabbits to fear snakes, she approached him with no fear whatsoever. “He’s a tsuchinoko! Yes, tsuchinoko real. Do you wanna say anything?”

“Flpflpflpflpflp…” Retracting his tongue, King gave a toothy half-smile. “I mean… party rock is in the house tonight? I dunno, but I’m always down to have some fun.”

While rabbits weren’t usually capable of smiling, Bubblegum could trill happy vibes very well. “Aren’t we all? Thank you guys for showing up, I’m going to go find the others now. Stay sweet!”

Hopping away, she sped past the camera to the final pit stop in her adventure quest, a snazzy recreation room that contained a karaoke machine and a countertop bar. As she hopped inside, something ran outside, a black blur of an animal with the briefest flash of yellow eyes.

“That was Teto! It’s alright if we didn’t get to see her, she’s not very sociable.” Bubblegum sniffed. “Unlike the other black cat in the mansion… my mom’s boss, Trouble!”

She pauses in her tracks, scrunching up her face. “At least I know I’ve seen her as a black cat at some point a while ago… Maybe she likes transformation magic? Or maybe that’s just her fursona.”

Hopping onto a bar stool, the rabbit came face to face with a rooster on another stool. This was no ordinary rooster however, as instead of brown or white feathers, every inch of the sun bird’s body was covered in multicoloured flechettes. Both his comb and tail feathers had little balls of what looked to be concentrated fire, and he let out a cocky crow at the sight of the camera.

“This is Bata! He’s a sarima… sarima…” The subtitles were clearly poking fun at Bata’s species, even if both rabbit and mistress probably knew what he was. “Sun chicken! He’s a baby.”

“I am not!” He clucked back. “I am a very proud rooster who eats lots of big man food and can still find the time to give my Dad feather hugs whenever he wants them!”

Bubblegum blinked. “That’s… oddly specific.”

“Shush, don’t judge me, you get hugs from your momma all the time too.” He stuck out his tongue.

“Fair enough!” Bubblegum conceded with a trill. “And you will always be a baby because that’s what I remember you as when you were still a chick. A baby!”

Bata let out a squawk, preening his feathers. “Lies! Slander! I’m bigger than you, Bubble-brain!”

The two continued their friendly banter as Dusky stepped into view and pressed the service bell on the bar’s top. A little scratching noise was heard, before a mouse scampered up onto the bar: this mouse looked to be a little old, with a small witch’s hat that had probably seen better days, but he nonetheless squeaked cheerily to ask for orders.

“A tall glass of apple cider, please. And some water for them.” Dusky requested, giving the mouse a gentle pat on the head. The mouse moved to go make those drinks, and seconds later the order was set out in front of all three of the bar’s current occupants.

“And that’s Jeffrey! He was, um… he belonged to mom’s teacher before she passed away, but he’s still working here out of loyalty to my mom’s bosses. Really great mouse, who serves great drinks!” Bubblegum happily starts lapping at the water.

Once they were done, the idol scooped up her rabbit, waved goodbye to the other two familiars and walked out of the door. The scene cut back to the inside of their room, where Bubblegum is set down gently, and the bun hops around the room to exercise, just a little.

“As you can see, there’s a whole bunch of friends here with me in the mansion, and they come in all sorts of shapes and sizes and some of them are plenty magical, too!” Rubbing the back of her ears with a paw, Bubblegum yawned. “Familiar or not though… we’re still like everyday animals and we all have our own needs. Food, sleep, and of course, love!”

Dusky shows up one last time, simply to press a kiss onto Bubblegum’s eager forehead. “And I’ll always give you as much love as I can.”

“Yay! That’s all for tonight! I’ve been Bubblegum, and I wish you all a gumi-goodnight. Goodbye!” While the outro music played, Bubblegum hopped around in a circle before she binkied herself into her bed, waving at the camera one last time before the ending card signalled the vlog’s end.

[indistinct-echo]

⭐ + 💭 :)

⭐️- how do you get your inspiration?

at the start of my fic writing, i definitely looked most for interesting phrases or just vague random things said by dnp, ex:

hold your breath and swallow three times (title from phil liveshow)

nature’s call (based on stories from phil vid and a gaming vid)

doin’ the pigeon (phil instastory)

houndstooth (phil instagram photo+caption)

more recently I’ve been finding inspiration through people’s tumblr posts oddly enough - this was the inspiration for we kept them all and also an upcoming oneshot of mine 🤫 :)

💭- any ideas for a possible wip?

the inclusion of “possible” here is much appreciated because the idea is there but I have no idea if I’ll ever do anything with it but basically last night I dreamt a comic about ghost-phil (you can see my attempts at recreating it here) and I know there’s definitely a story here, I just need a plot and motivation

thank you for the ask, Amy! ☺️

[watery-lane]

The Night You Cared: Epilogue.

Pairing: Modern!Ivar Lothbrok x Reader

Summary: She is back. For how long?

Warnings: Angst

Words: 5340

A/N: End of my first Ivar fict! Hope you guys enjoyed it xx.

Part I / Part II 

Listen to: Stubborn Love - The Lumineers.

“He couldn’t even look at his parents faces after that. I swear to the gods, master students are just undergraduates on crack.” You rambled lightheartedly, phone on one of your hands and the heavy luggage rolling right next to you. “Oop, sorry.” You apologised to the old, white bearded man attempting to leave the building at the same time you tried to get in. “Thank you.” You mouthed with a smile and a scrunched nose, trying to look past the dark sunglasses of the man holding the door for you.

Ubbe released a short and breathy laugh. You could not see him, but you knew him well enough to notice he sounded way too distracted to formulate a proper answer to your anecdote. You knew he had things to tell you, bubbling under the surface like water about to boil, waiting patiently for you to finish with what you had to say as he always did.

Part of you already knew what he wanted to ask. As much as you loved Ubbe, his drive was wired the same way as all Lothbroks: business, business, business. Sure, he was located in the HR department and understood the way you saw things. But, as a Ragnarsson, he could not see your desire of avoiding a life between cubicles and constant phonecalls.

“Well,” you exhaled, “I’m officially back home.”

“In which hotel are you staying? I can pay you a visit as soon as I finish with these papers.” You could picture him letting go the papers on the table like white pigeons as he casually leaned back against his chair. You waited for the lift, eyes focused on the flicking numbers above your head.

Ubbe knew about your never recovered relationship with your parents. They never called you back, not even after the success of your new business was announced through local and regional media. Although for them, the news of you working for another sector other than theirs after the humiliation they had to endure at your graduation party may have felt like a slap in their faces. No one assisted to your masters graduation other than your remaining English friends. You did receive heartwarming messages from Aslaug and her sons, who apologised for not being there with you. It was a lonely ending for such an important stage of your life, but you swiftly got through it. Soon enough you got into a graduate scheme at the British council and a big part of you was relieved that you got to spend another year without facing the problems awaiting for you in Kattegat.

Now you had consumed all your borrowed time, leaving you drowning in the sterile sand clock you got yourself into, unable to put down roots in your hometown after your parents decided to pull them all out.

“Hotel Boneless and Co.” You mumbled through a dramatic sigh, stretching your arms up and puffing your chest as you heard the ding of the machine and the pop of your bones. You were carefully rolling your suitcase into the mirror covered lift when you heard the wheels of a chair rolling loudly on the other line. “I can send you my location if you don’t know where it is.” You joked as you pressed a button and stepped out of the lift. 

Ivar lived in one of the top floors of the building and you perfectly knew it was a suicide attempt to try and climb the stairs. But the thing was, you spent your whole day sitting on your ass and the last thing you wanted to do was to use your legs even less. ‘I’ll just call the lift once I feel tired’ you thought. ‘Nobody is going to steal my suitcase anyway.’ You brushed your concerns off, feeling the cosiness of class privilege surrounding you.

“Does Ivar know you’re staying at his place?” Although his voice sounded carefree, cautiousness and apprehension vibrated through his cherry picked words.

Your breath got caught up right in your throat, unsure if it was due to the fourth set of stairs you just rushed through or because you had no explanation for your mad reasoning. You shut your eyes briefly, licking your lips as you prepared to speak.

“It’s not like the first time I left, I promise.” You mumbled, your pulse thumping in your ears as you tried to not exhale heavily through the phone. “We actually talked during the past year.”

Technically, you were not lying. You two did spend time talking, sharing your everyday anecdotes through video calls or short text messages. He told you with pride about how the company stock was rising slowly but steadily, or how he was considering therapy. For his legs. On the other hand, you showed him your improving cooking skills and tenderly warned him about not stressing over things he could not control. 

Although, truth be told, that was nine months ago.

You were not to confess this, specially not to Ubbe, but although you tried, your conversations and overall relationship did not seem to endure the distance very well. Slowly withering like flowers deep into autumn, the last message you sent him was a picture of a smashed avocado toast you had for breakfast with the caption ‘The only thing I’m smashing these days smh’. A little grey bubble with the word ‘Yummy!’ seemed to be the full stop to your year long conversation.

It wasn’t until you stopped on the sixth floor, sore legs burning and short huffs escaping from your lips when you noticed the silence on the other line.

“That doesn’t answer my question, (Y/n).” Ubbe finally sighed, voice sounding tired all of the sudden.

“Well,” you strolled past the long corridor of the sixth floor, searching for the lift calmly. “we can consider myself as the best promotion gift he’s going to receive.” You smirked as you remembered the news.

A few months after your graduation you were informed by Bjorn about the death of Aslaug. You were told she died in a car crash, that the brothers were mourning, hence the lack of communication during those months. The oldest Ragnarsson did not seem phased about the news, which was understandable due to the lack of relationship he had with the woman. However, he was soon pulled into a legal battle between the Aslaugssons and Lagertha, with Ivar investing most of his time and resources in lawyers and private investigators, convinced that the death of his mother was planned. Because of that, he thought that the best idea was to leave Kattegat for awhile, investigating the markets of different nations to see if he could expand the legacy his father left.

You heard later on that Ivar won the legal battle after investing at least half of his wealth in lawyers and legal counsellors. In two days he was going to celebrate his rise, ‘just like a coronation’, Ubbe mocked, a bittersweet tone tinting his voice.

“(Y/n)...” Ubbe licked his lips as he leaned forward and rested his weight on his elbows.

“I know, I know, I should have called and said something,” you started to ramble, arms moving up and down as you got yourself in the lift, eyes locked on the lone suitcase left in the middle of the tiny space as you mindlessly pressed the last floor button. “but to be honest, would it really have been really necessary?”

“(Y/n). I can’t hear you.” Ubbe frowned as he started to hear your voice being cut repeatedly. 

 “I mean, it’s only been one year, what could have changed? What could he have done?”

“(Y/n).”

“Sell the loft his dear mother bought him? Developed a God complex? Join a cult? Get married?” You blew a raspberry, rolling your eyes as you heard the ding and saw the doors slide wide open.

At the other end of the line, Ubbe shifted his weight as he tapped his index and middle finger on the shiny table. Its a small gesture, but it helps relieving the pressure he started to feel on himself. At that time you reached the silver door, your virgin nails pressing down the doorbell as your ears processed the sweet ring that came with it.

“Ivar has... changed a little bit.” Ubbe mentions, not sure where to restart the conversation. He acknowledged he could have been a better brother to his little one, maybe they would have never reached this situation. “You will be surprised.” You kept yourself quiet for a moment, a discreet side smirk making your eyes squint.

“I’m sure I’ll figure him out.” You praised yourself, lowering your voice to a mere whisper as you talked to yourself. “I’m pretty sure we were built together by the gods anyway.”

“Huh?” Ubbe squinted, tilting his head as he could hear you talking under your breath.

“Uh nothing,” you fidgeted while you looked around, weirded out by the fact that Ivar did not seem to be at home on a weekend afternoon. Your free hand rested on your hip as you looked around, foot tapping rhythmically at the melody on your head as you pressed the button again. “Oh.”

“What?” Ubbe straightened his back.

For a mere second, your furtive eyes captured a swift move of lights and shadows slipping under the door frame, your eyes blinking rapidly at the sudden vision as you shook your head confused.

“I uh... I think I just saw someone... walking past the door?” You frowned, brushing it off as tiredness while you picked your stuff on the floor. “Never mind, I think he’s not at home. I’ll call Warwick and book a room.” You started to walk away from the door, suitcase rolling behind you as you strolled back into the lift.

“Oh wow, the little rich girl can only afford four star hotels right now?” Ubbe mocked, knowing perfectly you would be pissed at his comment, snickering as you told him to fuck off. “(Y/n)...” He called your name after your giggles died down, the sudden cold tone making you shiver with anticipation. “Have you thought about the offer?” He asked cautiously, not wishing to rush you into making any decisions. You already had a lot on your plate and something told him your stay here would end up breaking you.

“Ubbe... I—“ You hesitated. “I’m not going to lie, Haiti sounds nice and the job position sounds tempting.” Your inner cheek felt the bite of your teeth, your hips rocking forward and backwards as you stretched down. “but I’ve got things I wish to take care of in Kattegat now.” You smiled at your last sentence, the thought of your little local at the heart of your hometown and its co-owner crossing your mind. “I no longer need to run away anymore.”

 At the other side of the door, a distracted Ivar calmly read the financial reports of the last months as he sipped whiskey neat, never raising his head while he put the glass down on the counter.

“Who was it?”

“I don’t know... a seller, maybe?” A sugary and melodic voice spoke behind him, bare feet squeaking on the wooden floor as she moved back to the sofa, carefree. “It’s okay, I don’t think she knows we were at home.”

“That’s not possible, sellers are not allowed into the building.” Ivar considers, eyes looking up as he processed who could have been. Since your departure and the death of his mom, with Floki and Helga away, nobody ever visited him much. His brothers would see him every weekday at the offices and Erik was only there when he needed a ride. Only Freydis was around now and that was completely fine by him. She knew what he needed. She knew how special he really was.

“It was this woman talking on the phone with huge suitcases, she must be selling kitchenware or insurances or something.” She responded vaguely as she stood up at the sight of her fiancé perking his head up after hours focused on his job.

“Wait...” He stood still, his sudden hunch making his stomach churn. He felt the bare arms of his loved one caress and hug his chest and shoulders from behind, the hypnotising and honey like scent invading his senses like an anaesthetic. Notwithstanding, that little annoying feeling in his gut never left. “Darling, where is my phone?” He asked, his fiancée leaving his side as she looked for the device.

SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK - Joji

You pursed your lips as you idly passed your hands over your gown, the sound of your heels clicking on the ground drowned by the numerous voices echoing in the tall, french style ceilings. You were pretty surprised your name was actually on the guest list. You had previously joked with Bjorn about being his plus one and how he was 88% sure he’d end up gods know were like Sigurd if Ivar ever saw you entering the gala joined by the hip, pretty certain Ivar did not know about your arrival. Guess you couldn’t surprise him anymore, cursing his brothers for telling him you were back in Kattegat. 

The spot was not exactly like the one where your downfall took place, yet it filled your heart with the same sadness and anxiety, as if you were about to live another disappointment all over again. As you reached the main room, your walked more cautiously, as if the marble tiles were the ones marked and in charge of causing you pain if you took the wrong step.

“Nice dress.” You heard a feminine yet deep voice speaking to you, making you raise your head and brows.

The woman in front of you looked like a goddess. Like an actual goddess.

She could even be Freya, dark locks running free and caressing her shoulders, an aura of mystery covering her tall frame as she walked past an speechless you. Damn the wealthy and the powerful. Damn Ivar and his godlike contacts.

You couldn’t even say thank you, the woman long gone as she approached an oddly familiar old man at the other end of the room.

You shook your head in confusion, looking around trying to find any known faces to hold yourself onto.

“Well well well, look who we have here?” Your heart fluttered with joy as you saw the blond, long haired Ragnarsson approach you with the cheekiest grin in Kattegat.

“Hvitty!” You beamed, a shiny smile parting your lips as you reached for a hug. “Look at you, who’s the lucky one taking you home tonight?” You winked, hands grabbing the lapels of his suit tenderly.

“Well the night is still young, but I can put you first on the waiting list if you want to.” You released a careless laugh, throwing back your head as you cheerfully shook your head.

“I’m afraid my mind is already taken, baby.” You rolled your eyes, finally feeling the happiness that had been gradually dripping away from you coming back. “And this,” you pointed at your body as you twirled, “is a package deal.”

You noticed his blue eyes seemed way too out of focus for a brief moment, contrasting deeply with the airy laugh he released at your joke. You wondered what had he seen, body slowly turning back until you hear him talking to you again.

“C’mon, are you telling me you didn’t fool around in York?” Hvitserk raised his brow. Your lips parted, the ghost of a smile adorning your face as you shook your head. 

“I love your brother, Hvitserk.” You confessed with a weak voice, not willing to let the rest of the party hear such open secret coming from your mouth. “I always have. I mean,” you huffed, shaking your head, “he’s a hell of a person to love, let’s just say I had to learn to love him.” You swore to the gods you had never seen Hvitserk, the most careless family member of the Lothbroks, look so concerned as he listened to you, his spark dying down as words left your mouth. “I— I know we’ve clashed for so long, and I’ve figured out that the truth is, we got to make sacrifices for the people we love. I resented him for so long because I thought he was selfish and he hated me at the same time because he thought I was selfish.” You took a deep breath as you reached your conclusion, ignoring how the young Ragnarsson kept looking behind you nervously. “And all of this was because... We were way too obsessed with the desire of having everything going your way. The night I let the past go was the best night of my life.” Hvitserk swallowed before looking at you.

“Is this why you decided to keep your share of the bar and reject Ubbe’s offer?”

“(Y/n?)” You felt every part of your body tingle at the sound of your name, blood rushing in your ears as you turned around. Your eyes were wide open, making their way up the suited up person that was now standing right in front of you.

“Ivar.” You whispered, eyes heavy and blurry sight as you hugged him tightly.

He hugged you back, the tip of his nose pressed against your head as he inhaled your scent, heart at ease and mind in peace at last. 

“Ivar, look at you,” You cupped his face as you separated, lips travelling straight towards his. To your surprise he pushed away your hips slightly with his free hand, making you miss your target as you kept your hands where they were. “You can walk?” He nodded, eyes full of you and pupils so dilated to take you in better. Yet his face seemed expressionless, the force of his emotions hidden and tucked away.

Maybe that should have served you as a sign that things had truly changed.

“Yes, princess, I can walk.” He repeated, voice as soft as the touch that indicated you to stay a few steps away from him. You frowned slightly this time, your heart clenching painfully.

“Hey, you must be (y/n)!” A cheerful woman came by with Ubbe, who stayed behind her with a defeated look. Her little frame got close enough to pull you into her embrace, letting you know how glad she was of meeting you at last.

The two oldest brother exchanged a hardened glance, lips pursed as they observed how everything slowly started to crumble.

“So you’re the girl who made this guy human?” She stands by Ivar, puppy eyes looking up as if she devoted everything she had to him.

“I... guess?” You hesitated. “And you are?”

The petite blonde woman raises her left hand, showing a hard yet so fragile stone reflect every single beam of light in the room.

So bright were the reflections, they actually burned you down.

You could hear a lot of people talk and see her lips moving as if someone slowed down time, as if you died went to Hel with Hela and the doomed ones.

Then you looked at Ivar, his eyes never looking at you. That is when you noticed: you couldn’t read him anymore.

He didn’t seem to have only started a new chapter.

He started a whole new book.

You were pretty much out of the conversation at that point. You heard her name was Freydis, that she applied for a position as his assistant in the past. That she never thought she’d become the wife of the CEO.

“The nurse got really pissed when she heard he had been walking around without crutches before he started treatment.” Freydis said sweetly, hand on his chest as she caressed it with care. The statement snapped you out of your trance, eyes immediately finding Ivar, who shook his head slightly to the sides in an attempt to calm you down. He knew you were going to blame yourself for that. You were not at fault, in fact, you were the main reason why he tried to become better in every single way possible. Because that was what you deserved, because that was what you were. “He could have hurt himself with whatever he was attempting to do.”

Apparently, she also convinced him to get therapy for his strong mood swings and past traumas.

Little did she know, the decision came from Ivar after the last time he was with you. But you didn’t know that either and your heart broke a little bit more with every anecdote she told, every single story where she miraculously came and fixed the mistakes you made.

You could see how she was making him a better person.

“... But Ivar doesn’t really like to dance... yet.” It felt like a rambling at that point, a certain tint of fanaticism dyeing the conversation and turning it sour. You were tired at that point, eyes almost permanently stuck on the ground if it wasn’t from the tears you had to get rid of my looking up. You shot your eyes at him the moment you processed her last words, wondering expression etched on your face while he cleared his throat and looked away. It didn’t seem like him. You remember he used to insist on you to dance, like an ‘ordinary folk’.

The truth was, you never got to dance together. Too many things changed through the years, and there was this one thing he didn’t want to change too, which was how you were his first in everything worth remembering. Memories were simply sweeter with you in it. Because, as Freydis said, you made him human. 

The thing was, he needed to be a God now.

He knew that you would be happier doing what you do, being free and helping people in ways he couldn’t even phantom.

Letting you go like this was the biggest sacrifice he will ever make.

To have you as a business partner would suffice, he always loved to watch you be you, working your ass off, to care so deeply about everybody like nobody else in his circle ever does.

“Ivar, Harald and Astrid are here.” Hvitserk finally intervened, the sight of your weakened state too much for your partner in crime to bear. Ivar nodded, sorry eyes staying a little bit longer on your hardened features before following his fiancée and brother.

“How was I not invited to the engagement party?” You asked to Ubbe, eyes still locked on your now ex’s back. Just like you couldn’t put a finger on when it started, you couldn’t really think of when your relationship ended.

“Cause it was nine months ago.” Ubbe mumbled, helping you put the little pieces together. You nodded.

“How?” You swallowed, not sure if you wanted to know. “How did they meet?” Ubbe pursed his lips, tilting his head tiredly as he sighed.

“She was a call girl Ivar used to hire regularly.” He tried to brush it off by shrugging. “I am not sure what happened, but Ivar started to get back to his old habits after you left. The only thing that remained the same was the local you guys own, he regularly checked everything was alright. One day Hvitty and I saw her leaving our offices, all suited up and everything.” You nodded, encouraging to keep going. “And boom, all of the sudden, after Lagertha’s trial, they were engaged.” He exhaled. You remained silent, feeling how a sneaky tear streamed down your face. “(Y/n)?”

“I think I need some air.” You whispered, stepping away from the oldest Aslaugsson and the rest of the crowd.

At least here out in the starless night you could blame your runny nose and teary eyes on the cold.

“Remember when we used to laugh at those sappy ass couples?” You asked out loud after standing by yourself for a while, heart more serene now that you took your time to accept that maybe you were not as good for him as you thought. You wait for Ivar to get closer, the sound of his crutches marking his distance rhythmically. You turn around and you can see concern itched on his features, lips parted as he looked down, checking the damage he had done. You force a smile instead, your fist hitting his shoulder playfully as you spoke. “Seems like you are one now.”

Ivar looked at Freydis slowly, who remained inside with Ubbe and Torvi, letting a sigh relief his chest.

“Yes. Yes I am.”

It was such a change of dynamics what Ivar experienced. With you, love and intimacy was never rom-com worthy. Love was roasting each other every other day, picking up on each others scars while making sure they never open again. Love was natural, fluid.

Now with Freydis, he seemed to need to prove her where she remained in his circle in a daily basis, lovey dovey words making sure she knew where she stood in his life. Truth be told, it was easier this way to love someone. He just needed to make sure to shower her with nice things, just like she did when she saw him doubting himself.

“How does it feel to be permanently tall now?” You asked, trying to change the subject as you felt the tenderness of his voice as he spoke about his future wife.”Don’t you feel like you’re going to fall at anytime?” Ivar smirks, resting himself in the railing you were pointing at.

“Nah.”

“What if I pushed you though.” You joked lightly, hand on his back as if you were truly going to do so. Ivar shrugs calmly before looking at you.

“I mean, it wouldn’t be the first time you make me fall.” You roll your eyes, remembering the conversation you had the first night where everything seemed to be in the right place.

“Oh, c’mon, I already apologised and I don’t even remember it.” You refer to that time you supposedly made him stand up for the first time.

Ivar smiled nostalgically. He didn’t mean that.

“You know I’ll be around if you need me.” Ivar promised sincerely after staring at you for what it seemed like an eternity, getting closer to you as you nodded weakly. “I have to go and give a speech now, please wait for me until I finish it, alright? Be there for me.” He placed a finger under your chin as he inspected your face, puffy eyes, blood flushed cheeks and pouted lips revealing the damage he had done.

He just wanted to ask for a dance, discreetly, before his wedding day takes away the chance of feeling you twirling around him on his last first dance.

His hand held your fingers tightly. 

Rough skin never felt so soft, the warmth of his touch contrasting with the cold blue eyes staring at you. His brows were slightly furrowed, solely noticeable for the ones that dared to stand closer to him. Marks appeared on his forehead, horizontal lines crossing out the words his parted lips refused to let out of his mind. Ivar was holding himself back, letting the fire of his fears and yearnings consume him from within. Only his eyes exposed his introspection, your heart clenching as you saw him process his thoughts. It did feel like he was holding to you for dear life, not wanting to let go like a kid who caught his first butterfly.

Until he did.

He took a step back, glancing briefly towards your direction before parting, heavy steps ringing in your ears louder than the classical music playing in the room.

He was not going to leave.

But you knew, deep down, that he was gone already.

You followed suit and collected all your strength left to move yourself into the room. Your legs seemed to burn, unwilling to take you closer to the golden stage for someone to end your remaining emotional and mental health left with a few words.

You see from afar how he gets onstage with Freydis, who hugged his broad frame with care before he grabbed the mic. He started talking about his father, how everything started with him and how Aslaug maintained the business when he was gone. He talked about taking risks, success and investing in things that had value and fight for them.

"Enough about business, tell us about that piece of cake next to you!” A family friend shouted, his huge round tummy serving as a place to rest his hand, his braided beard caressing his exposed skin as he laughed. 

Ivar, standing right above the crowd, seemed to throw daggers with his stare, unhappy that a drunk man interrupted his ceremonial speech. But next to him the woman he was going to spend his life with giggled carelessly, getting closer to him with the wish of her fiancé to sing her praises to everybody in the room. 

“How did that woman you love ‘successfully invested’ in you!” He speaks again and at this point, Ivar is fuming. 

You looked around concerned, knowing that your childhood friend was short fused and may do something that could trouble him sooner or later. It didn’t help that the rest of the crowd was laughing too, insisting on him to talk about his fiancée, asking for him to be vulnerable in front of everybody. 

You saw Freydis calmly poking him with his elbow and how his eyes were about to pop out of his head. But then he leaned down and let her whisper in his ear and gradually, slowly, his mood seemed to change as the crowd quieted down at the sight of him clearing his throat and picking the mic to speak again.

You frowned, not sure of what poison did she give him for Ivar to suddenly change that way.

“See, you just need to show her something, something she’s never done before. Something that captures your attention, that is good enough to capture her soul. And — and she will take her time to learn” Ivar starts, eyes seemingly fixed somewhere far away from the stage. Somewhere like the very last lines of people standing in front of him, listening to him. “She simply makes something better out of it. Something brighter, even though you didn’t even think it could be possible. Even though you couldn’t even phantom you’d need so much light in your life, she proves you wrong, just like she does in every fight.” Ivar paused to chuckle, remembering the time he tried to convince you to hire strippers for the club. 

Everybody laughed after a deep collective ‘aww’ and he can feel the person standing next to him shift her weight and getting closer to him with affection. But he already was way too deep into his memories, pulling out good moments and unsaid words for the public to see how consolidated his relationship was. His tone shifted at the same time he noticed from afar how you start to break down, eyes not being able to look at him as your chest trembled. He was not aware of the harm those words would do to you without applying his own context, yet he begged for you to figure out that everything he said, he said it about you. 

“And...” Ivar swallowed, vulnerability starting to drip from every word he said. “And the thing is, she doesn’t even do it because of you. She doesn’t search for nobody’s approval. She just loves to make things better. That’s her gift, that’s her growth.”

Ivar finished and, for a brief moment, everybody remained silent. It took a minute, but then everyone seemed to burst into applause, everybody but three dumbfounded brothers looking at their youngest sibling as if he had lost his damn mind.

By the time he got closer to Freydis for a kiss you were choking in your own tears, your throat too tightly closed it seemed too difficult for you to breathe. Was this the reason why he wanted you to stay? To hear what he had to say about his fiancée? 

You shook your head, searching for the oldest Aslaugsson in the crowd.

You had enough.

"Ubbe, do you have a minute?” You asked weakly, doe eyes looking at the ground for a brief moment before gaining your composure again.

“Yeah,” he apologised to the guests he was with “what’s wrong?” He moved closer to you, the glass of champagne in his hand and the conversation he was participating in long forgotten.

“You were right.” You admitted your defeat, your head high and your chest puffed out. “I accept the offer.” You managed to let out as you took a few steps back, ignoring the way Ubbe said your name, with pity and sadness tearing through you as if you were a poor broken toy. “Tell Hvitty he can keep my share of the bar.”

Part I / Part II / Sequel (Words Into Smoke)

About tags:

I have recently lost all tags and at this point idk what to do to keep all tags in place. Please send me an ask if you know any ideas!

Old taglist:

@aesstheticallypleasing @captstefanbrandt @unicornbaby741 @fuckthatfeeling @huffelpuffers @yannii04 @collecting-stories

[blurglesmurfklaine]

Cornelia Street (8/9)

(+ an interlude i thought of after reading “Reeni”s comment. Idk who you are bc it was a guest comment, but thank you!)

A/N: oh my god they were quarantined

yes. It’s one of those fics.

AU, obvs

I’m posting as I go and idk how many parts this is going to be, likely won’t be very long but I literally don’t know what I’m doing and should i be starting yet another WIP? definitely not but fuck it lets fucking go

Title is from T-swizzles Lover album, I’m OBSESSED

Summary: Three years ago, Kurt and Blaine went on a disaster of a date and never quite got off on the right foot. Now, just before they graduate from NYADA, there’s a national outbreak and they’re both self-quarantined in a mutual friend’s apartment.

Read On AO3

On Tumblr: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Interlude

QueenJCedes replied to your story!

Kurt bites back a dopey grin when he opens Mercedes’s snapchat message. It’s a photo of her looking dubiously at the camera, a single eyebrow pointed up, with the caption: Quarantine buddies, huh?

He snaps back a quick photo of himself, eyes rolled upwards. What can I say, he won me over.

She sends back just a message this time—

Mercedes: Yeah, clearly. Mercedes: Head over feet, Alanis style!

—and then a bitmoji of Kurt falling through the air.

Kurt: I mean… You’re not wrong Kurt: He’s sort of everything Kurt: AND a fantastic kisser

Mercedes: OMG REALLY? I was just teasing, but if this is legit, I’m so happy for you!!!

He can’t help but giggle excitedly as he types a reply. 

Kurt: Yeah. me too.

*

New Snap from setroutymouth

Blaine rolls his eyes but still can't school the smile on his face into a neutral expression. This is going to be a lot, he already knows, but nevertheless, he swipes his thumb across the screen to unlock his phone.

Sam’s pacing through Mercedes’s childhood home in Ohio, phone in selfie mode, already rambling at a hundred miles a minute that Blaine’s sure he cut off a few words.

“—cedes just showed me Kurt’s snapchat story and I AM LOSING IT! Did something happen between you two? Oh my god, something totally happened, didn’t it!? BLAINE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED MERCEDES WON’T TELL ME AND I ALREADY FINISHED EVERY BINGABLE SHOW ON NETFLI—”

As expected, it was a lot. But still not enough to burst his happy little bubble. He doesn’t think anything could, at this point.

Through his smiles, he snaps back a picture of himself shrugging, trying to look as clueless as possible, and adds the caption: I have no idea what you’re talking about.

It’s not even a full moment before he gets another video back.

“BLAINE ANDERSON I AM BEGGING YOU—”

Blaine locks his phone shut, mostly because he knows it’ll drive Sam crazy. He can respond later. Right now, there are more important matters at hand.

*

Blaine’s in the kitchen, putting away what was left of the carton of Cookie Two-Step ice cream they’d demolished while watching another Netflix romcom, when Kurt’s phone lights up.

New Message: From: Adam I saw your sc story You know you could just be *my* quarantine buddy When are you coming?

Kurt actually growls as he types out a reply. How did he put up with this for nearly three years?

New Message: To: Adam I’m not.

Kurt. We both know how this ends.

Not this time. I meant it. We’re done.

Okay, whatever you say I’ll check in with you later When you change your mind

Kurt doesn’t even warrant that with a response, he’s too seething mad to even formulate one with enough bite to put Adam in his place.

But then the door opens, Blaine’s beaming at him, and Adam is completely irrelevant.

“I was just thinking,” Blaine muses aloud, slipping under the covers and snuggling up next to him in a way that Kurt knows will be way too easy for him to get used to. “Do you remember our Junior year when we had to partner up during Stagefighting for that Musical Choregraphy project?”

Kurt explodes into laughter. “Uh, yeah, that was pretty ridiculous. I remember hearing from Matthew that you said I dance like a pigeon that’d been chewed up and spit out by a cat.”

“What!?” Blaine exclaims, shocked. “I swear I never said that. Though, I do remember going on a tangent about how I didn’t know how I was supposed to concentrate when you insisted on wearing those pants with that tight fitted shirt and…”

He trails off, and Kurt can feel color rising to his cheeks. “Oh, that explains it, actually.”

“Explains what?”

“Matthew. He had a huge crush on you.”

Blaine’s eyes double in size. “He what!?”

Kurt lets out a chuckle. “You seriously didn’t know?”

“No! Nobody told me!”

“That’s not how crushes work, Blaine,” Kurt says through a stream of giggles. 

“Okay, why does it make more sense for me to just take a wild guess about how people feel about me instead of them telling me, or acting on it? Like, if you hadn’t have kissed me earlier, I would have never known how you felt and kissed you back.”

Kurt opens his mouth to argue that logic, but… he seriously cannot get over how oblivious Blaine is. “So you’re saying that if I hadn't accidentally kissed you then you really wouldn’t have known how I feel?”

“Yeah. And I would most definitely not have acted on my crush.”

“Aw,” Kurt teases. “You used to have a crush on me. That’s embarrassing.”

“And you watch too much Parks and Rec.” 

“I’m gonna kiss you again, now,” he announces.

Blaine just grins, eyes crinkling at the sides. “I think that’s a great idea.”

There wasn’t much of a choice because of the shelter in place, but based on the bright spark forming in his chest when their skin meets, Kurt could definitely get used to this living situation.

*

Blaine finally pulls away reluctantly. If he could stay attached to Kurt forever, stay connected to him, he would. He roams his eyes over Kurt’s face, like he could memorize it if he really, really tried, and notices a scar just above his eyebrow. It would be invisible to anyone else, anyone who wasn’t trying to intentionally map out the image of Kurt.

The scar doesn’t bother Blaine, but the idea that someone ever hurt Kurt bad enough to leave physical evidence that refuses to leave tugs achingly at his heart. Instinctively, he takes his hand from where it rests on the side of Kurt’s face, and gently traces over the scar with the pad of his index finger soothingly, as if it hasn’t been healed for years.

“Sophomore year… two years ago,” Kurt’s murmuring refocuses his attention.

That was a hazy time for Blaine, but he does have a vague memory of hearing from a friend of a friend that Kurt spent some time in the hospital, and he definitely remembers his rival-slash-partner being missing from their stage acting class for a while.

“What happened?” He asks.

Kurt is so calm, so steady when he answers. It leaves him in awe. “It was when all those gay bashings were happening…” he pauses, and Blaine immediately feels sick to his stomach because he knows where this is heading. “I was on my way home from school and saw these guys attacking some teenager, and… I had to help. I ran over and started shoving them, I guess. I didn’t really know what I was doing, but the kid got away. I didn’t. The last thing I remember after that was what I think might’ve been a brick hitting my head.”

“Jesus,” Blaine breathes. His initial reaction is to say I’m sorry, but something tells him that Kurt isn’t sorry about it at all. Instead, he says, “I had no idea. That–that was really brave of you.”

Kurt snorts out a laugh. “I’m glad you think so. I spent most of my hospital stay being berated by my dad about how irresponsible it was.”

“No,” Blaine shakes his head. “If anything it was over-responsible.”

“I’m not convinced that’s a word.”

“Me neither,” Blaine says breathlessly, amber gaze fixed on the boy lying across from him.

He really just can’t help but pull them together again. 

Blaine thinks Kurt is opening his mouth to deepen the kiss and, well, he’s certainly not going to complain. Until Kurt sucks in a deep breath and turns his head, chuckling through his yawn.

“Sorry, I really thought I could hold that yawn in.”

Blaine lets out a laugh of his own and glances over at the analog clock on the nightstand. “It’s only midnight, you grandpa,” he teases.

“Hey! Doing nothing all day is seriously draining.”

“I wouldn’t call what we did nothing,” Blaine says cheekily, causing Kurt to flush.

“I’m going to shower before I head to bed,” Kurt responds, sitting up and lifting his arms up over his head and exposing an inch or so of his midriff.

Blaine is trying so hard not to stare. Nevertheless, he can’t help it as he watches Kurt saunter off to the restroom. 

He tosses his head back onto the pillow with a satisfied grin on his face. Global crisis it may be, but if he got Kurt Hummel out of it… he could complain about worse things.

A bright ding from his right interrupts his thoughts. Blaine turns his head and sees the screen of Kurt’s phone light up, resting there on the nightstand.

He’s not snooping. He’s really not. It’s just sort of instinct to look in the direction of the sounds.

Then, he sees the succession of messages that make his stomach churn.

New Message: From: Adam Hurry and finish up with the rebound already I miss you Text me when you’re on your way

He stares at the screen for a few seconds before it fades back to black, feeling absolutely sick to his stomach. Of course Kurt was going to run back to his ex the first chance he got. It’s exactly what he did three years ago and Blaine was just kidding himself. This was all too good to be true.

Turns out it wasn’t.

Before he knows it, he’s grabbing his duffel bag and dialing Quinn’s number. 

He’s always welcomed there and New Haven isn’t all that far, after all.

Part 9

[reddeaddamnation]

Imagine: The Arcana characters being stuck in the real world with you

Author note: This came out as stupid as I thought lol

"Asra!" A loud male voice, coming out as a yell was suddenly heard from the room next to the one you were in and darted you up and alert. Was someone trying to break into your house? Did you just hear the name... Asra? You grabbed the nearest object to you that could be used as defence - the knife you were eating your dinner with and slowly walked to the next room, heart pounding painfully in your chest. You heard quiet voices.

"What?" A male voice, calmer than the other one asked "I didn't do anything." A small chuckle followed "You wound me, Ilya." Then a female voice, soft like velvet, remarked indifferently "Then pray tell, how did we end up in a situation like this?" The sound of metal caught your attention, as it scraped on the wall, followed by a petty sneer from another male "And who in the world was in charge of the interior decorating?"

You peeked from around the door and what you saw made you gasp, catching the attention of everyone in the room. They turned around to look at you and you couldn't believe your eyes! They looked just like the Arcana cast! "Who are you?" Asra asked calmly "Where are we?" You couldn't speak. You didn't even know how you feel about this! "Well, if the company is as lovely as this person I certainly wouldn't mind spending several days here. Wherever here is." Julian shot you a cheeky smile.

It was hard to explain to them where they are. It was an even bigger shock to Nadia and Lucio who realized they can't spend Vesuvian money in real life. Nadia needed a shopping therapy to cope with all this. Even if she claimed nothing in the store was her style, she still ended up buying several (quite expensive) dresses. The shock on her face was softly said when the cashier told her he won't take her money. At least she wasn't like Lucio who went into a fit, claiming he could buy the store and the entire mall even, made a scene, said the clothes were ugly and shamelessly asked you for money five minutes later.

Asra was taking all this in more calmly. He had plans to open another shop, but when you told him the people feel differently about magic now, he honestly looked a bit anxious about his future and went deep into thought about what else he could do. Julian didn't give a damn about anything and straight out asked you about the nearest bar, to which you refused to let him go, afraid he will get lost. Muriel tried to act chill as ever even though you could tell he was panicking on the inside and had a hard time finding his place. Portia, on the other hand, was thrilled and asked you about everything, took some of your clothes and had a great interest in technology.

A few days passed and things were seemingly calming down, everyone were seemingly getting along and getting used to the new atmosphere. Nadia was looking through a fashion catalog and cringing at every piece of cloth she saw "Ugh. Do these people not know how to dress?" Julian was playing a video game on the floor and laughing loudly every time he progressed. Muriel isolated himself in your room and of course, you knew better than to disturb him. Portia had snatched your phone to take selfies and caption with the slangs she had learned from you even if they didn't always make sense. And Lucio was in the bathroom, bathing for the fifth time today much to the dismay of the rest of you. "You know." Asra stated as you were sitting together on the couch "You really remind me of my apprentice." You rolled your eyes "You don't say."

Suddenly you were interrupted by hurried, loud and heavy knocks on the door. It didn't stop until you reached the door and open it. "You know, this is a nice change." Nadia stated with a slight smile "I could use a break from the courtiers." Not even a moment later, just as you opened the door, you were met with just the people she was talking about. "There you are!" Vulgora, who was knocking, yelled, looking past you to your guests. "Oh no." Julian groaned. "I see doctor Devorak made it as well." Valdemar stated with a mocking grin "I honestly thought you would get lost, knowing you."

Angrily, you gathered all your courage and stepped up to Valdemar, pushing him back "You have no idea how long I've been meaning to roast your ass off, you dickbag! You think I'm gonna let you talk shit to Jules without getting an asswhooping, huh? Well, I've got plenty of beef with you." You yelled in their face, cracking your knuckles. Valdemar was really more shocked at your words than anything, because he didn't understand them and just stared at you with wide eyes. "Excuse you?" They sassed "Roast me?" Volta interrupted with a murmur "I wonder how that would taste like..." That was really the only sound for awhile, because everyone was watching you mouths agape, trying to explain the words to themselves. "You go, Y/N!" Portia exclaimed, clapping her hands.

"What a circus." Valerius scoffed, his usual wine glass in hand "We are coming in." He pushed past everyone, making his way inside "You have no idea what it took us to get here. These peasants dared mock us! What did they say... Something about a... Halloween party?" You tried to contain your laughter at that statement. Valerius sat on the couch with a groan, lifting his legs up on the coffee table. "You!" He called out at you "Wine. Your most expensive kind. I don't drink anything cheap." You raised your eyebrow, walking back inside, basically slamming the door in the other courtiers faces. "Weird flex but okay." You stated indifferently, confusing everyone once again. "Flex?" Valerius repeated. "Vally?!" Lucio's loud voice was suddenly heard, startling everyone. Valerius looked at him. "Count Lucio..." Valerius grumbled "Do not call me that."

"Lucio!" You yelled "He is not staying here!" Lucio raised an eyebrow "Yes he is. The rest can sleep under a bridge, but he is staying here." Was he testing you? Bad idea. "Alright." You shrugged, walking over to the door and opening it, where the other courtiers were still standing, but you paid them absolutely no mind. "Here is a doormat. He can sleep here since you want him around so much." They both stared at you with shock, offended "I will not allow this!" Lucio sassed, but you weren't having any of that. "The house is mine, bitch." You stressed the last word "If you don't like it, you both can sleep on the doormat."

After throwing both Lucio and Valerius out, the mood was much more light. Even Muriel decided to open up a little. Julian was just as flirtatious towards you as before, but the pickup lines Portia read to him really made you cringe. "Y/N, I would take you to the movies but they don't allow snacks inside." He winked at you with a smirk, before turning around and murmuring to Portia "What does that mean?"

Asra was really nice to you, giving you Tarot readings whenever you want and offering to teach you if you wanted, but he never really figured out that you were the apprentice all this time. "You're a natural!" Asra exclaimed when you successfully read the cards for him "You remind me so much of my apprentice back in Vesuvia!" You gave an awkward smile nodding your head "Thanks, Asra."

Portia made an Instagram and gained thousands of followers in a short period of time and posts cat videos and aesthetic photos with a lot of hashtags. Nadia too became an Instagram model and even planned to become a writer. You were confident she would do great because she was a great writer. Portia not once asked you to get a cat, but you had to deny her every time. "Portia, there are so many people here, all we need is a cat!"

Muriel... You noticed he was more peaceful now. He fed the pigeons every morning, noon and evening and ever since he lived with you, suddenly all the stray dogs and cats started living around your home. He even built them a small wooden house, along with a birdhouse for the sparrows and other little birds.

[robertmcangusgroup]

The Daily Thistle

The Daily Thistle – News From Scotland

Sunday 28th January 2018

Hello, Good Morning and Welcome….  I’ll let you guess what Sunday was named after. No, go ahead; I’ll wait. Come on…it’s big, gassy, and orange; and it’s not your uncle on Halloween.

GLASGOW PRIMARK SELLING BASEBALL CAPS EMBLAZONED WITH THE WORD ‘HUN’…. A branch of Primark in Glasgow is attracting attention on social media - because of a three-letter word on hats for sale in the store. A tweet by Glasgow-based journalist Aoife-Grace Moore showed a picture of a grey baseball cap with the word ‘Hun’ on the front of it. Ms Moore accompanied her photo with the caption: “Dear Primark Glasgow: This is a very very bad idea.” Although the word is ordinarily recognised as a shortened version of the word ‘honey’, it has an alternative meaning in Glasgow, having been used as a derogatory slur against Protestants and Rangers supporters. In June 2016, fans of the Ibrox club lobbied to make the use of the word in a footballing context a hate crime, and viewed in the same light as ‘fenian’, a derogatory term for Catholics. Research carried out by communications regulator Ofcom later that year deemed ‘hun’ to be inoffensive, describing it as: “Mild language, generally of little concern. However, seen as less acceptable by those familiar with the history and use of the term as a sectarian insult.” However, in 2015, then Celtic striker John Guidetti was charged by the Scottish FA over a TV interview he conducted with a Dutch broadcaster, in which he repeated the words of a song that Celtic supporters had sung which included the term.

PRINCE WILLIAM’S NEW BUZZ CUT ‘COST £180’…. The Duke of Cambridge’s new haircut reportedly cost as much as £180. Members of the public got their first look at Prince William’s closely cropped hair as he launched a health programme at Evelina London Children’s Hospital on Thursday. READ MORE: Meghan Markle gets an apron as first official Royal gift It is understood the heir to the throne, 35, opted for a buzz cut after receiving advice from the Duchess of Cambridge’s hairdresser, Richard Ward. Mr Ward charges a base fee of £125 for a men’s cut and finish, his website states. According to The Sun, the cut was reportedly carried out by Joey Wheeler, one of Mr Ward’s deputies, during a private session at Kensington Palace. Younger brother Prince Harry, 33, has openly joked about William’s receding hairline and once said: “I think he definitely is brainier than I am - but we established that at school, along with his baldness.”

CALLS FOR RETHINK AS HOLYROOD PIGEONS NOW ‘WISE’ TO BIRDS OF PREY…. HOLYROOD bosses have been urged to think again about their decision to spend £80,000 on using birds of prey to scare pigeons away from the Scottish Parliament building over the next five years. Hawks and falcons are brought in regularly to fly over the parliament in a bid to deter pigeons from making it their home – but MSPs claim the pigeons have got wise to the practice and now just wait for the birds to be driven off by their handler before settling back on the roofs and ledges of the £414 million building. The parliament has renewed its maintenance contract – of which the birds of prey are now a part – for another five years with a possible two-year extension. Overall pigeon numbers are thought to have been reduced as far as they are likely to go, but the parliament believes the hawks and falcons are necessary to stop them increasing again. However, Lothian Tory MSP Miles Briggs, a member of the cross-party animal welfare group at Holyrood, said it was time to reconsider spending so much money on a bird handler coming to Holyrood and flying birds of prey. “I don’t think they have looked at how effective it is actually being,” he said. “For a lot of building users it has become a bit of a joke. The pigeons are sitting up on Arthur’s Seat waiting for him to go away. “The pigeons seem to be quite bright. The effectiveness of him turning up now and again is questionable at least.”

SCOTTISH RESEARCHERS ISSUE QUIDDITCH HEALTH WARNING…. It’s the biggest sport in the wizarding world, but now muggles have been issued with a safety warning. Quidditch, the fictional sport played on broomsticks in the Harry Potter series has found a following among non magic folk (muggles) across the world.  They may not be able to take to the skies like their literary counterparts but the past time is still fraught with hazards, a health study has found. The research - led by Edinburgh University’s medical school - issued a warning about the competitive nature of the game. A paper in the International Journal of Sports Physical Therapy found it can lead to high rates of concussion among players, prompting experts to draft guidelines to improve the game’s safety. In the fictional version players use flying broomsticks. Quidditch is a fast growing, physically intense, full-contact sport. Originally adapted from JK Rowling’s novels, quidditch was first played in 2005 in the USA but is now played worldwide. Two teams attempt to get a ball, the ‘quaffle’, through tall standing hoops. The game only ends when ends if another ball, the ‘snitch’ is caught. A total of 348 participants of 684 eligible quidditch players responded to the health study. There were 315 injuries reported by 180 athletes in total, an overall incidence of 4.06 injuries per 1,000 hours of play. A statistically significantly different rate of concussion was observed with female athletes in the mixed gender sport sustaining more concussion than males. Over 20 per cent of quidditch injuries reported were described as ‘concussion’.

PETER PAN HOUSE PROJECT FUNDING BID BACKED…. A council has endorsed a bid for a final slice of funding to help create a national centre for children's literature in Dumfries. It has applied for £600,000 to help complete the last phase of conversion work on the Moat Brae mansion. The gardens of the building were credited by JM Barrie for helping to inspire him to write Peter Pan. Dumfries and Galloway Council has already given £500,000 towards the scheme but is seeking further funds. A report to the local authority said £7.4m was now in place towards the major overhaul of the site. However, the additional £600,000 is needed to complete the project. The Scottish government's Regeneration Capital Grant Fund (RCGF) has been identified as a potential source of funding but it is only open to local authority applications. The council has submitted a bid with the outcome expected to be known by March. If it is successful, the local authority will be required to monitor the project and submit a post-completion evaluation of the scheme. It has therefore agreed to update its service level agreement with the Peter Pan Moat Brae Trust should the funding bid be approved.

On that note I will say that I hope you have enjoyed the news from Scotland today,

Our look at Scotland today..It was bitterly cold when Derek Coull photographed the sunrise at Aberdeen beach on Tuesday. Within hours it was snowing, he said.

A Sincere Thank You for your company and Thank You for your likes and comments I love them and always try to reply, so please keep them coming, it's always good fun, As is my custom, I will go and get myself another mug of "Colombian" Coffee and wish you a safe Sunday 28th January 2018 from my home on the southern coast of Spain, where the blue waters of the Alboran Sea washes the coast of Africa and Europe and the smell of the night blooming Jasmine and Honeysuckle fills the air…and a crazy old guy and his dog Bella go out for a walk at 4:00 am…on the streets of Estepona…

All good stuff....But remember it’s a dangerous world we live in

Be safe out there…

Robert McAngus

[mhsn033]

‘Loyalty is really important to us’ – Biffy Clyro on the fall-out behind their new album

List copyright Warner Recordsdata

List caption The band fashioned in Kilmarnock, Ayrshire, as teenagers

“Existence has a unfamiliar behavior of supplying you with stuff to reveal about,” says Biffy Clyro’s frontman, Simon Neil. “There’s repeatedly something to space the cat amongst the pigeons.”

The band’s closing album, 2016’s Ellipsis, used to be written after Neil suffered a chain of bereavements and went through a duration of crippling creator’s block. Before that, the recording classes for 2013’s Opposites were overshadowed by drummer Ben Johnston’s alcoholism, which nearly drove the Ayrshire band apart (he’s since recovered), and by Neil’s partner struggling a chain of miscarriages.

Things weren’t fairly as bleak as they wrote and recorded their ninth album, A Celebration Of Endings – but there used to be a seismic disruption within the band’s internal circle that “in actuality shook our bones to the core”.

‘Money practice’

“Loyalty is de facto foremost for us,” says Neil, “and there were two prolonged-term working relationships we had, that deteriorated in strategies that we could per chance well not absorb envisaged.

“One man used to be in the very, very internal circle. He’d labored for us from the very originate and I idea the connection would closing ’til the day I died,” he says. “Nevertheless we had the worst plunge-out ever and the connection splendid ended uninteresting in its tracks.

“It is an extraordinarily sensitive thing to chat about and I create no longer are attempting to disrespect him by naming him, which potential of I enact worship there’s two sides to every memoir.

“The diverse person had been a portion of our crew for years – and in state that they mainly [chose] cash over working with us, which I realize at a clear level, but that used to be in actuality an behold-opener for me. I felt love we could splendid been a cash practice or no matter for 12 years.”

The community were pressured to “re-review everything,” he says, however the technique ended up being releasing.

“We mentioned, ‘In actuality, all we need is the three of us’.

“And, attempting relief now, I’m fully pleased, which potential of every album needs a spark. While you do not desire something to gain off your chest, it might per chance per chance be exhausting.

“Nevertheless after we parted strategies with these other folks, I felt so focussed. It in actuality cleared my mind. And that has in actuality been a beautiful realignment in the closing yr.”

List copyright Getty Images

List caption The band absorb headlined the Reading & Leeds festival twice

The trio, accomplished by Johnston’s twin brother James, met as teenagers in Kilmarnock, playing first as Screwfish forward of morphing into Biffy Clyro by the time they attended college in Glasgow.

The origins of the establish live shrouded in mystery (even though the most life like explanation is that it derives from Sir Cliff Richard’s authorized pen, aka Cliffy’s Biro) but their musical upward thrust needs no explanation.

Mixing stadium-willing choruses with bone-crunching riffs, they’ve established themselves as must-learn about festival headliners; while quieter songs love Many Of Terror and Rearrange brought them unusual, mainstream audiences at the turn of the decade.

Their industrial breakthrough used to be accomplished when Matt Cardle covered Many Of Terror as his X Ingredient winner’s single in 2010; even though the band handiest and not utilizing a doubt believed they’d made it when Courtney Like grabbed them at the NME Awards to pronounce they were her daughter’s authorized band.

“Her dad used to be indubitably one of many explanations we began making song,” Ben Johnston recalled later, “so as that used to be mind-blowing.”

All this success used to be accomplished hand-in-hand with their Scottish street crew – which is why closing yr’s personnel adjustments hit them so exhausting.

The autumn-out is at some level of the unusual legend. The Napoleonic price of Live Of pummels house the scathing goodbye: “It is probably going you’ll per chance well per chance no longer know the excellent scheme to be a legit friend / You is more likely to be ill-willing.”

Neil is extra reflective on Opaque, on the opposite hand, suggesting the door is originate for reconciliation. “You took the cash and urge,” he sings, “Nevertheless you’ve got made it true / There’s peaceable time.“

Leap of faith

Extra mainly, the album bristles with the boldness of a band who’ve survived a crushing blow.

The major single, Immediate Historical past, doubles as their unusual mission assertion. “That is the sound that we plot,” bellows Neil, resolute, even because the song ditches the band’s signature guitar riffs for a pounding digital beat.

“The irony wasn’t misplaced on me,” laughs the singer, “but that is precisely the sentiment: We’re repeatedly going to be a 3-fragment, kick-ass rock band, but we’re repeatedly going to absorb diverse flavours to what we enact.”

Biffy’s experimental turn must not advance as a surprise to followers. On their very first single in 2001, they were wilfully eclectic – switching from the pop-rock title be aware (27), to a darkly-coded steel opus (Instructio4), forward of ending on a sweetly-strummed acoustic ballad (Breatheher).

They’ve obtained better at song titles in the intervening 19 years, but their urge for food for whisk has remained fixed.

Neil says he deliberately goes out of his formulation to hear to song he doesn’t love or realize, to cease him writing by rote.

“I’m able to also write a song impressed by Nirvana in my sleep,” he says, “but I are attempting to in actuality feel uncertain about what I’m doing. That is a key thing – taking a jump of faith.

“So I’m listening to fairly heaps of extinct college Tina Turner in the intervening time, and pretty heaps of hip-hop.

“Then there is a band from the States known as Imperial Triumphant, who are form of death steel but their album begins with a barbershop quartet. And then they’ve jazz trombones and trumpets playing in actuality brutal riffs.”

Immediate Historical past, he says, used to be abruptly impressed by the clattering industrial funk of Janet Jackson’s Rhythm Nation.

“The production of that album, or no longer it’s so messed up,” he enthuses. “It is indubitably one of many most avant-garde pop files, indubitably one of many most life like-recorded items of song I’ve ever heard.

“Clearly, our song doesn’t sound love Janet Jackson, but or no longer it’s about getting your self out of that zone of sticking heaps of guitars on things. Let’s transfer forward, let’s shatter unusual ground.”

List copyright Warner Recordsdata

List caption Biffy Clyro (L-R): Ben Johnston, Simon Neil, James Johnston

Neil has been impressed to use that message to all facets of his lifestyles. He sees the coronavirus lockdown as a large reset button, bringing communities together and per chance reversing the politics of individualism.

“I’ve felt a strength from the reality we’re all talking,” he says. “There’s moments for the length of this lockdown the build I’ve felt less on my own then I ever absorb. I insist we absorb all woken up, and we’re at a unusual stage of decency.”

He recognises “there are peaceable portions of these that need division” but believes fairly heaps of us absorb a newfound scepticism for the “counterfeit prophets” who “don’t have faith the consultants, or don’t think in science” and “promise to repair your total complications in a single fell swoop”.

“And so we’re embracing stuff that we’d by no device absorb embraced forward of. Treasure the Shadowy Lives Topic protests: I insist the cause they’ve taken such root this time, and can unprejudiced no longer be brushed aside, is thanks to lockdown.”

‘Younger other folks in nursery college’

Those beliefs absorb seeped into his song for the first time. Several songs on A Celebration Of Endings relief activism, most particularly The Champ, which rails against the “grey man” who by no device stands up for himself and in the atomize loses “every minute thing that you just would repeatedly cherished”.

Lyrics love these were written as a response to Brexit and the Scottish referendum, but “the that device of them absorb changed beyond recognition,” says Neil, and he is itching for the likelihood to reveal them with an viewers.

For now, though, he’ll absorb to verbalize material himself with a stay circulate, organized for 15 August in an “iconic Glasgow venue”.

In preparation, he’s been living in a bubble with his band-mates for the last few weeks.

“We were the first these that noticed every diverse when that first section of lockdown lifted, and we were hugging every diverse love we were teenagers in nursery college,” he laughs.

Without a viewers to keep in mind, the band were indulging some of their extra routine solutions for the live efficiency, with loads of stages and space-u.s.a.being constructed within the venue.

“Develop no longer gain me scandalous, I’d enact something else so as to stand on that stage and absorb my ego stroked and reveal with thousands of alternative folks,” the singer laughs. “I cross over all people so, so essential, but it’s about making the most life like of a essential space.”

And when the band enact gain relief in the road next yr, how will the unusual legend match into their stay uncover? With 9 albums below their belt, are there any songs that could per chance gain dropped from the setlist without disappointing followers?

“I create no longer assume we’ll fairly be Springsteen stage but our next tour it will be a two-hour uncover,” says Neil.

“I’m able to also unprejudiced no longer apologise for that, or no longer it’s far a true space to absorb – which potential of there’s heaps of bands that also cease with a song from their first legend 20 years in the past, so I in actuality feel in actuality fortunate that folks join with our unusual songs as effectively.”

Biffy Clyro’s unusual album, A Celebration Of Endings, is out on 14 August.

Observe us on Fb, or on Twitter @BBCNewsEnts. If you occur to’ve got a memoir suggestion e-mail leisure.news@bbc.co.uk.

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[sonzyb]

On the Origin of Species – Charles Darwin

I have set myself a reading challenge, to complete The Origin of Species by Charles Darwin. Originally published on 24 November 1859 it was the result of 20 years work, mulling over his initial concept, working through ideas, testing and challenging the theory of Natural Selection, before comprehensive peer review and publication. 

I was supposed to read it about 30 years ago, (yikes!) as it was on the reading list for my degree in Environmental Science. As things turned out I was a bit too distracted by concerts (c’ mon – it was the ’90’s!) to take much interest in the theory of evolutionary biology. Feeling a bit bad about this, about ten years ago (a mere 20 years after the degree), I decided it was about time to give it a go.

As with nature, language and presentation of ideas have evolved since The Origin of Species was published, and I struggled with some of Darwin’s language. Descriptions of people have moved on thankfully, I may have gulped on reading about ‘base savages’ and terms like sports and monstrosities have been replaced with mutations; his general sentence structure is flowery compared to the paired down style of modern academic texts and it takes a bit of getting used to. It wasn’t long before I gave up first time around, but since a fellow blogger – April Munday is persevering with it, I thought I would give it a second chance and compare notes. 

Reading The Origin of Species in 2019 is a very different experience to that of someone reading it in 1859. Darwin had to be very careful about how he presented his ideas as they were at best controversial and at worst heretical or possibly even ludicrous, difficult to decide which he would have considered worse. What we now refer to as Natural History, was then known as Natural Theology and was closely tied to the church. All Naturalists at both Oxford and Cambridge were clergymen within the Church of England, scientific theories relating to nature were often contentious and strictly controlled given their impact upon theology.  

The theory that species evolve through mutations that help them better adapt to their environment,  was in direct opposition to the established view that each species was created intact by God as the finished article. Presented in the wrong way, Darwin could have been ridiculed, socially ostracised, financially ruined or all of the above. 

Cut to today and Darwin’s theory of Natural Selection has become the established view of the scientific community. Thanks to David Attenborough and those who have followed in his footprints, Natural History, and evolution (particularly of dinosaurs) is part of modern culture and most of us accept it without giving it a second thought.  There are of course exceptions, as ridiculous as it might seem to me, it is illegal to teach the theory of evolution in some parts of the world, and even here in the UK, I know of at least two local (Oxbridge educated) Creationist politicians who dispute the age of the Earth and the existence of dinosaurs.  

Darwin’s Theory of Natural Selection in a nutshell

To spare you reading the entire text, this is Darwin’s theory as summarised by Ernst Mayer as a series of facts and two inferences – he does it more succinctly than I can.

Every species is fertile enough that if all offspring survived to reproduce, the population would grow (fact).

Despite periodic fluctuations, populations remain roughly the same size (fact).

Resources such as food are limited and are relatively stable over time (fact).

A struggle for survival ensues (inference).

Individuals in a population vary significantly from one another (fact).

Much of this variation can be inherited by offspring (fact).

Individuals less suited to the environment are less likely to survive and less likely to reproduce; individuals more suited to the environment are more likely to survive and more likely to reproduce and leave their heritable traits to future generations, which produces the process of natural selection (fact).

This slowly effected process results in populations changing to adapt to their environments, and ultimately, these variations accumulate over time to form new species (inference).

  Sculpture of Charles Darwin in The Natural History Museum, London

Darwin introduces the book by referring to ideas that struck him whilst on an expedition aboard HMS Beagle. In fairness the concept would have been familiar to him; his Grandfather Erasmus Darwin was an eminent physician who published Zoonomia (1794–1796) foreshadowing the theory of evolution and Charles used the work as a reference whilst developing his own theory. 

Darwin tested his theory using hereditary variations in pigeons and he presents this information first before going on to demonstrate variation within nature. 

To date, this is as far as I have got – but it’s considerably further than last time and I’m getting into the swing of it. I am reasonably confident that this time I will actually finish it, I’m sure my tutors would be delighted – if they haven’t as yet shuffled off this mortal coil.

Natural History Museum

Architecture close up from the Natural History Museum, London

Charles Darwin, the father of Natural History sitting pride of place in the Natural History Museum

The famous statue of Darwin sits pride of place on the staircase of the Natural History Museum in London, funded and bequeathed to the people of Britain by Sir Hans Sloan who I talk about here The Origin of Species, Charles Darwin On the Origin of Species - Charles Darwin I have set myself a reading challenge, to complete The Origin of Species by Charles Darwin.

[inoshatrynn]

Letters

This is a fanfic I cross posted on AO3 and Part 8 of Keri’s Letter Series:

Nexus Guard: T'Vessa, your hero is back. Keri: *Looks up from seat in jail cell and sees Alex standing before the glass. Smiles excitedly, rises to her feet and approaches* Alex: Hey you. Keri: Hey. I thought you would be half way to Elaaden by now. Alex: We actually came back for some supplies. Keri: I've been here that long? Alex: *Puts her hand to the glass* Keri: *Places her hand in front of Alex's* Nexus Guard: No touching. Alex: *Glares at him* Keri: Please don't do anything rash, Alex. I don't need you in here with me. Or worse. Alex: *Takes hand down. To Keri* Yes ma'am. Have you received any of my letters? Keri: Just the one. I think they are screening them. Tell me about Elaaden. Alex: Hot, dusty, not very friendly, but a lot of potential. We're making progress, but it's slow. I had a suspicion you weren't getting anything from me. Keri: I don't suppose you received any of my letters. Alex: *Shakes her head* Keri: *Sighs in frustration* I'd say something, but I don't want to add to my sentence. Alex: I had two reasons for coming to see you. Keri: Oh? Alex: *Turns to the guard* Do you have something I can sit on? Guard: If I did, I'd be sitting on it. Alex: Okay fine. *Rolls eyes and sits down on the deck. Opens her Omni-Tool and turns her arm to Keri* Relax, Paul Blart, it's just writing. Guard: *Stares* Alex: *To Keri* Sit. Keri: *Sits down with Alex and reads her letter: "Dear Keri, I suspect you aren't getting my letters, so I thought I would send you one the old fashioned way by carrier pigeon. Though, at least I shit in the toilet." *laughs* Alex: *Slides to the first picture showing the desert cliffs of Elaaden* Keri: Beautiful. My skin is dry just looking at it, though. Next? Alex: *The next picture is of Peebee with a horrified expression as she is being hit in the face with sand* Sandstorm. Keri: *Giggles* Well, sand in our...you know...is very uncomfortable. Alex: *The next picture is of Alex scanning a crate* Remnant tech. Peebee, Vetra, and SAM were having fun with me over scanning it after I got shot. Keri: *Frowns with concern* You weren't hurt were you? Alex: Nothing that Lexi couldn't fix. *The next picture is of Alex standing atop a Remnant monolith* The view was incredible. *Shows her pictures of desert scape from her vantage point* Keri: It looks amazing. You didn't dive off of that did you? Alex: *Leans her shoulder against the barrier and turns to Keri* I did. But in my defense, I had to scan something that I could only get to by diving off the top of this. Kandros: *Wanders over to prison area. To Watch Commander and Guard and nods at gathering onlookers* Do nothing to them. I am going to get Director Tann. Keri: And you loved every minute. Alex: You know it, babe. Keri: *stops and stares at Alex* Alex: *Blushes* Sorry. Keri...*coughs* Ms. T'Vessa. Keri: *Smiles* It's okay...babe. *Looks to guard and leans against glass* Alex: *Blushes* I um...there's more. Keri: Ooh, lots of pictures. Alex: Well, there was a lot that didn't get sent to you. Guard: *To Watch Commander* They're going to make me throw up. Alex: *Flips page to a photo of Alex* Since you seem to like pictures of me, I included some. And some of my crew. Keri: *Smiles as images pass by with captions about each crewmember* Liam doesn't like clothes does he? Alex: *Shrugs* I stopped asking questions. Just so long as there are no complaints and he at least wears a suit in the field. *Pauses on an image of Cora* Keri: *reading* "Dear Keri, thank you for your advice in your last email. I can see why Alex likes you so much. You will be happy to know that I have done my part, and I have noticed that Alex is taking less risks in the field. Last time, she carefully mapped out a place to go "Bajaing" in the Nomad, whatever that means and cliff diving. I went with her last time and it was more fun than I cared to admit to her. Thanks again, Cora." Did you really? Alex: *looks up and nods* You were right, and I made you a promise. Keri: *Pleased smile flickers across her face and she reaches up to touch Alex's face but is blocked by the barrier* Sorry...*glances at the Turian guards* Forgot I am in here. Alex: And here, I included my favorite pictures. *Flips to image of Keri* Keri: That's me. I'm your favorite picture of Elaaden? Alex: *Blushes more and flips to another image of Keri mid-sentence during an interview* You may have a camera, but SAM records everything that happens to me. *Flips to another picture of Keri making a funny face while talking* Keri: *Laughs* You're silly. Alex: *Flips to images of The Nexus and then a last image of Keri at the docking port, talking to her Omni-Tool with her back partially turned. The shadows created by the lighting in the docking port and the bright colors of The Nexus with the ship in the background create a startling contrast over her dark blue skin, highlighting the bone structure of her face, and softens the expression on her face* Keri: *Turns serious* I really like that one. It makes me look almost beautiful. Alex: You are beautiful. Keri: *Blushes dark blue and looks to Alex, speechless* Alex: *Expression turns bright red after she figures she has said too much* Sorry. My mouth is running away with me, today. Keri: *coy smile* Keep talking like that and when my documentary is finished, I might just run away with your mouth. Alex: *Grins* Is that a promise? Tann: Pathfinder. Ms. T'Vessa. Alex: *startled, looks up and rises to her feet. Tugs at the hem of her uniform shirt* Keri: *Slowly rises to her feet and backs away* Tann: I'm not going to hurt you. *sighs* You know, we don't allow contact with the barrier. Especially for biotically-inclined species, or those with implants. Alex: Make your point, Tann. Tann: I came here to compliment you on your hard work. Alex: You came down here to tell me that? Or did you come here to stop me from talking to Keri? Tann: The guards informed me of your little story time with Ms. T'Vessa. I also saw it on the news... *points to Hakim hiding behind a tree* You have quite a crowd forming. Alex: You imprisoned her for doing her job, and censored our correspondence. *folds arms* What did you think would happen? Tann: Getting messages through the Scourge is problematic, you know that. Alex: *Flatly* We've been in communications range. I received a number of messages from Addison, and civilians while I was on Elaaden. Tann: I had no idea you were so close to Ms. T'Vessa. Alex: It shouldn't matter who either one of us is close to. Tann: *Carefully, glancing at the two women* I have an opening in my schedule if you want to debrief me about your progress on Elaaden. Alex: *Turns to Keri and gives her an apologetic, yet hopeful look* Keri: Go...*Pauses, struggling to remember herself* ...Pathfinder. I will be all right. Thank you for stopping. *holds her hand up and looks to Alex as if to say "I love you"* Alex: *holds her hand up in return* Keep writing me....babe. *winks and follows Tann* Turian Prisoner in second cell: *looks to Keri* You're getting out.

[betteradventurer-blog]

Gaining Insight into Culture through Fiction - Shogun

In a previous post, I discussed the idea of framing a trip through current events. This is much easier if you are visiting a country where you speak the local language. For this trip, I took the approach of framing the trip with fiction. The book I am currently reading is called Shogun, by James Clavell. It is a piece of historical fiction set in 1600 in Japan. The story depicts an English Sea Captain who is shipwrecked in Japan and integrates into Japanese society. The captains name is Blackthorn, but he adopts the name Anjin-San because the Japanese language does not contain the letters pronounce his name. I find myself having the same problem and now introduce myself as Teeraa. I find it quite funny because this is the very similar to the way that my name gets pronounced in Spanish.

I kind of relate to the captain in many ways. While we are not openly referred to as barbarians, the same complaints that were made of him are also made of us. Gaijin, meaning foreigner, seems to be the preferred term to barbarian, but what’s the difference really? It is sometimes used in an endearing way, and sometimes it really isn’t. We, as a group, look unruly. Lou and Zach are easily a foot taller than everybody else in the country. Even Elliot and I, despite being under six feet, really stand out in the crowds of people. The main similarity is the fact that we smell bad. While we do our best to visit the bath houses as often as we can, they are not actually prevalent enough to prevent us from smelling horrible. When Anjin-San was first crashed ashore the first command he was given was to bathe. Our singular acceptance into a civilized setting, the guest house that was discussed in previous posts, saw us invited in with a very similar initial demand. I really needed a bath. As the trip has continued the varying amounts of facial hair that we have all grown has also contributed to our rather, “barbarian,” appearance.

A lot of the book discusses the ways in which Anjin San must change the way he thinks to understand the customs of locals. It is very difficult to understand the modern customs of Japan, because we do not speak the language. I do know that, in the eyes of some of the locals, we are given elevated statues due to our participation on the pilgrimage. It has been described as the custom, or even the duty, of the individuals of the communities to help the Henro when they can. This help often comes in the form of small gifts, but can sometimes be even larger. For the more traditional locals, this custom is very important to them.

                Just yesterday I was walking off the original path, towards our destination alone. I was not sure if the boys were behind or ahead of me, but I knew the spot where we would meet up. A man stopped me and through the poor use of a phone translator, I was invited to see his home and meet his wife. He offered to have me stay in their home for the evening. I was in a tight spot. It looked like it would rain and I had the tent in my bag. We were not sleeping at a rest hut that night so I knew that Elliot would need the tent. I tried to explain to the man that I was very sorry, but that my friends were in the next town and that I had to go meet them. This is considered very bad manners on my part, but given the circumstance, I did not have much of a choice. His wife understood a little bit more English than he did and again, using a translator, I was able to communicate the situation. The man immediately switched tones and began to apologize to me for using my time. Again, lost in translation, I tried to explain that I felt bad for having to say no, and he tried to explain how bad he felt for holding me up. It was a very confusing situation that ended with him giving me a big hug, saying you and I are now good friends, and then walking me about a km from his home towards the town. This awkward loss of face for both of us, is a situation that is repeatedly described in the book. I guess I am just a Barbarian.

                The best way that this book has influenced my trip, happened when we were visiting Uwajima Castle. It is a castle that was built 400 years ago and remains in its original form. It belonged to the Date Clan. We were able to go inside the castle and view the three floors. Each floor was smaller than the last, with the final floor providing breathtaking views of the surrounded area. This view was aided by the fact that the castle was built on a hill, with the city sprawling out around it in all directions. The port was also in full view. As I looked out the window all I could picture were passages from the book about Japanese Lords looking out the windows of their castles, while samurai in the surrounding village prepared for war. It was easy to picture the hawks that were sent out to intercept carrier pigeons, because these hawks still fly in the sky surrounding the castle. It was quite easy to imagine the surprised nature of the lord of the castle, looking out to his port to see a foreign ship, with foreign crew, being chased into land by an errant storm. One of the friends we made on my birthday posted a photo of us on facebook. The caption under the photo referred to us as part of the White Wave and warned the rest of Shikoku that it was coming.

 Just in case you hadn’t picked this up yet, I think you should probably read the book Shogun.

Thanks,

 - Taylor Stronach-Hesp and the boys from Better Adventurer

P.S. Thanks Jill and John for the recommendation