#thanks for understanding 🤍

[sleepyhollands]

important

hi my loves. as many of you know, i’ve been sleepyhollands on tumblr since 2020. since then, i’ve written fanfiction about tom holland and co., peter parker, and harry styles. most recently (and i say this loosely because this was a year ago) i posted a demon!harry blurb that received a lot of attention, and i announced it would become a mini-series. however, after much deliberation, i’ve decided against moving forward with writing on tumblr altogether.

i didn’t come to this decision lightly, because i feel like i have so much left to create, and the fanfiction community i run in has been so lovely and supportive of me over the years. i also feel guilt over letting go of a project i promised to complete. but at the end of the day, i know this is the right choice for me.

there’s a few reasons. for starters, i feel as though my life is really fast-paced at the moment (and for the foreseeable future), and i don’t quite have time to write in day to day life. for a couple years now, every time i’ve sat down to start writing, it’s felt like a chore. for the demon!harry mini-series, i wrote (i kid you not) at least 20 drafts of the first chapter, which is why i kept promising the release “soon,” but it never came. it felt so forced each time i read it back, and once i realized i had fallen out of love with writing, i knew i would never end up finishing the series. so i figured it would be best to not start it at all for the sake of saving everyone from a story they would never know the end of.

additionally, i’ve lost interest in the people i’ve written about. that’s not to say i don’t love them as people/characters and won’t continue to support them in their careers, i just don’t feel motivated to create or consume content about them anymore. again, it feels more like something i have to do rather than something i want to do, and that’s no fun for anyone.

finally, and i truly hate to say this… i’ve honestly come to dislike what reading and writing fanfiction has come to. now, i’d like to make it very clear that i am not attacking any creators either on tumblr, wattpad, or ao3. i love all my mutuals and the writers i consume content from. that being said, this new culture of “social media alternate universes,” “text message alternate universes,” and my least favorite: capitalizing on fanfiction through patreon or other related sites has just made me less and less inclined to engage in the fanfiction community.

our generation is so phone/social media-oriented that it’s made its way into the content i’d prefer to just read. and if that’s your cup of tea, that’s totally fine! consume whatever content you enjoy, seriously. but i don’t get fulfillment from reading make-believe text threads or instagram posts, and i’m noticing it more and more, to the point where blocking tags such as “#smau” just isn’t cutting it anymore.

and the patreon thing…. listen, i get that we live in a world where people are just trying to make money in any way they can. i’m not judging in the slightest. it’s hard out here, i understand. that being said, the beauty and allure of fanfiction to me is that it’s free— it’s pure and accessible to everyone. and i’ve found that i’m simply not willing to spend money on a non-essential product i used to be able to consume free of cost. i mean that in the least petty way possible, truly. i’m not calling it immoral, or a scam, or unfair for creators to earn money for their work. i just miss when everything around me wasn’t subscription based, and now that even fanfiction can cost money, i’ve developed a bit of an aversion to it.

(as a quick, unrelated side note, i’d like to mention that the fanfiction circles i’m in are all hyper-fixating on tropes i’m really not into, such as heavy bdsm-centered content, major age gaps, dad’s best friend, best friend’s dad, etc., and this is making it hard to continue engaging with them and their content. while i will always love and support the writers on this site, i want to avoid coming across this content entirely.)

all of this to say, i’m not sure if i’ll keep this account. i’m not planning on leaving tumblr, but i’m heavily debating deleting this account and creating a new one for a fresh start. that, or i’ll leave this up and move to a new account. i’m not sure yet. in any case, i’ll try to make sure there’s a place you can go to access my writing if you choose to come back for a re-read.

i want to thank everyone for being so kind to me over the years, and i’m sorry if i’ve disappointed anyone with this information. i’ll be tagging people from my taglist, and those who mentioned they wanted to be tagged in the demon!harry mini-series below. much love. 🤍

@callsign-scully @lnmp89 @keepdrivingkisses @tenaciousperfectionunknown @landosangel @tom-hlover @voguesir @iadoresleep @lmaotshollandd @starkscosmos @st-ev-ie @axelinchen @pleasinghellfire @kimmi-kat @mopeymousey @coolhotsexygemini10 @harrys-cherrry @vamprry @sunflowervol18 @lillefroe @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @bbontenswhhore

[accio-victuuri]

POV: you are on a video call with yibo 😍😍😍

[silverselfshippingchaos]

Pairing: Ash (self-insert)/Seifer Almasy (Happy Late Birthday, Seifer!)

Word Count: ~1.8k words

Warnings: A bit of swearing, brief descriptions of past self-harm, vague FF8 spoilers. More of a character study than anything. Ash and Seifer were both child soldiers and are learning how to live again. Just some good ol' hurt/comfort

Synopsis: It had been a few years since it had all ended and peace was returned to the world. Ash, an elite mercenary once known as the Garden's Perfect Ten was now living alongside her rival-turned-lover, Seifer. But despite their new, peaceful life, scars from the past remain. For the first time in his life, Seifer doesn't have to face his trauma alone. He is loved.

Seifer never fully recovered from Edea's mind control. He is in control of himself and his actions, but what of his mind? Sometimes his head aches, thoughts that aren't his feel so real again. He's 18 again, grabbing at his head and wanting nothing more for it to just stop. Chills run down his body, and he can't do anything but sit there and take it. The whispers aren't as bad as they were when he was a teenager, but they're not gone. Maybe they never will be.

Seifer is more than aware that he has done awful things in the past. He was once a teenager in charge of an army, he awakened an evil god from her slumber, and he tortured a man he now calls a friend. Seifer is different now, that much is a fact, but he considers it his responsibility now to live with the weight.

Would things have been different had he done something else? What if he made SeeD? He'd sooner die than admit it to Squall, but Seifer knows that going through would Squall did would break him.

Seifer has spent a lot of nights on his own after it all happened, staying awake and staring at the ceiling, sometimes even crying. Always thinking too fucking hard. Life had never been easy for him, and the one time he felt like he had a purpose... He fucked it up. He tells himself he was true to his ideals until the very end, but in reality? He was nothing but a scared little kid.

Seifer sits up in bed, his body covered in a cold sweat. He buries his face in trembling hands, trying to get himself to calm down, trying to get the throbbing in his skull to just stop already. He had gotten accustomed to waiting these moments out, drinking some water, and rolling over and going to bed once more.

But the days where he spent his nights alone were long since past. Warm arms wrap around him, and it feels like a safe haven. Ash holds him and pulls him into her chest.

"Seifer..? Heard your breath shake."

Her voice is soft. Gentle, but comforting.

"I'm sorry."

It's a quiet whisper, something so unlike him. Seifer always took it upon himself to be bold and brash, always leaving an impression (whether it was positive or negative was something he simply did not care for). Ever since he was a child brought to the Garden for the first time, he had one lesson drilled into his head. Personal feelings didn't fucking matter so long as you yielded results. He took that to heart.

But with Ash, for the first time in his life, he doesn't mind talking about how he feels. He knows that she'll listen and he doesn't feel afraid. Being vulnerable wasn't scary, the one thing in his life he could never do. Seifer never felt weak whenever he talked to her about his feelings.

Still, the last thing he wanted was to disturb her sleep. They bickered and they fought, even tried to kill each other as teenagers, but he loved this woman more than anything the world had to offer. If she wanted her to kill, he'd do it. If she wanted to see it all burn, he'd bring the matches.

This woman was his life. When they were children, she'd giggle and read him picture books, little fingers following the words as she tried her best to sound them out. Now that they're adults, she still smiles at him the same way.

"No, no, baby... Don't apologize. Tell me what's wrong."

Ash's soft voice is like a beacon of light in the night that was the aching headache. Nights like these were especially awful, and his head felt almost exactly like it did the day it all went fucking wrong.

Seifer wraps his arms around Ash's waist and holds onto her tight, maybe even too tight. Ash doesn't complain. Seifer lets out a soft whimper, and he knows that he must seem fucking pathetic, some sorry excuse for a guard dog. Seifer knew he could be himself around her and that she would never judge, but he was still her knight. Her protector...

Not that she needed protecting, of course. He learned that lesson all too well when they were still enemies and she didn't hesitate a moment before pulling the trigger, shooting him in the shoulder. Still, he'd rather be the one taking blows than her. It's a lot fucking harder to kill him, after all.

"Is it another headache?"

"Yeah."

And Seifer's voice breaks, like some pathetic, scared little kid. Maybe that's what he was, what he never really stopped being. A mask of fake pride and false bravado could only last for so long. He could only build the walls around his heart so high before they all came crashing down.

"Oh, Seifer..."

One of Ash's hands finds its way to Seifer's hair, freshly washed and soft as ever without its usual gel, and starts to play with it. Light scratches across his scalp, running her fingers through his blond hair in an attempt to soothe him.

Taking care of each others' hair had always been important to the two of them. Seifer had put so much time in effort in learning how to properly take care of Ash's curls, and the feeling of his hands as he braided her hair always brought her comfort. She thinks to herself that perhaps she can make him feel the same.

"It's okay, Seifer. I'm right here... It's all over now."

Ash kisses the top of his head, and stays there for a moment. His hair smelled like her favorite shampoo. Ash knows that she's changed him, impacted him, and she can tell by the way he smiles when they're on dates that maybe this is what he had always needed. Even when they were students and they "hated" each other, Ash never thought he was a bad man. Misunderstood and misguided, sure, but never bad. Never evil.

It was far from Ash's first time comforting him through one of these moments. Sometimes it was so easy to get caught up in the past... So Ash always reminds him that the past is gone. Now it's just them together their bedroom and Seifer is absolutely safe. Matron had long since apologized to Seifer for everything. After all, she was being controlled too, but the impacts of everything couldn't be reversed. Seifer would heal, yes, but never would he be the same. That didn't mean he had to face the past alone though.

The longer Ash plays with his hair, kisses the top of head, whispers sweet little nothings about how it'll be alright, how nothing can hurt him anymore... The headache begins to fade. His body still feels generally uneasy, trying to fight something that isn't even there anymore, but he's getting better. His breath evens, and he just holds Ash closer, snuggling his face into her neck. He smells the remnants of her cologne, barely clinging to her skin after a long day's work. What a lovely smell.

"Ash..?"

"Yeah? You feel better?"

"Mhm. Thanks."

"Good."

He can hear Ash's smile, and he likes it. He wants to protect that smile, make sure she never gets hurt again. Seifer had felt powerless against so much, and the only real constant in his life has been this urge to protect and serve. Being a knight was his duty and his calling. But protect what? Serve what? And now, he has found it. This is why he lives.

"I love you, Ash."

"I love you too, honey. More than anything."

Seifer's head is still buried in Ash's chest, so his words are a little muffled.

"Love you so much it hurts. Y-you're really too good for a guy like me sometimes, y'know that?"

"Hmm," Ash giggles, "I don't think so. You're the only person in the world I'd ever want, Seifer."

"With you I feel... safe."

It's hard for Seifer to be vulnerable, Ash knows that. But she's proud nonetheless. Ash kisses the top of his head once more,

"Heh, guess in a way... I'm your knight then."

"My knight... Think I can get used to that."

Ash chuckles, and before she knows it, her Seifer is fast asleep, bare arms still wrapped around her. Even in the dim light of their nightlight and the moonlight fluttering in through the window, Seifer was so beautiful to Ash, sharp and strong features so relaxed, blond hair like gold falling into his face.

The scar across his face had begun to fade, but it was still there. Ash was glad it was healing, but she couldn't deny a certain affection for that scar, finding it both equal parts attractive and adorable.

Seifer told her that if she feels that way, she can go fucking ask Squall to give him another since he had no intentions of getting his face cut open again. The memory almost makes Ash burst out laughing. Her life had become so happy these past few years. It wasn't without its hardships, sure, but nothing worthwhile ever was.

"I love you, Seifer. With all I am."

For too long, Ash had been a weapon, a tool, a SeeD. No one really wanted to say it, but the words were all synonymous. Whenever Ash is with Seifer, she can experience the same joy she had back at the orphanage... The honor to just be herself.

She wasn't the Garden's Ten, she wasn't the wielder of Eight and Two. Sometimes she remembers her earliest days of gun training. There she was, a scared child sobbing in a pool of her own blood because she shot herself and it hurt. She was scolded and reprimanded when she woke up in the infirmary, but she didn't understand why. If she was to inflict this pain onto others, she wanted to feel it for herself. From that day onward, she devoted herself to her guns.

For too long, Ash was the gunslinger that was forced to grow up too quick, barely an adult rushing onto a battlefield (quite literally) guns blazing. Pulling a trigger was as natural as breathing to her... No. Not anymore.

With a smile on her face, Ash drifts off into dreamland too. Ash is excited to see what tomorrow holds. Not just for her, but for the man she has grown to love with every fiber of her being, Ash rests easy, knowing that she will get to wake up to the sight of his smile. What a lovely life she led.

[nightchangesmp3]

@faunandfloraas jess making me cry by sending me so many perfect things 😭😭

some already have homes on my bookshelf or are mingling happily on my purse

2minchacco matches my lucky cat so perfectly 😼

[dreamingofep]

This kinda goes without saying but my fics are on hiatus for a bit. It just doesn’t feel like the right time to post anything. When I feel the time is right. I’ll post a few chapters. 🖤

[mamabuni]

(IMPORTANT‼️) i’m incredibly disappointed that i have to make this post, but i really need to make this as clear as possible because of some stuff that’s come up:

i am not able to always quickly reply/be active all the time and i need more understanding with that. I really love this community and people here, but i’ve recently received some dms and asks fully shaming me for not being very active recently (i’ve just been busy with irl things in case anyone is wondering) or not responding to things as fast as they’d like. i’ve also even gotten some uncalled for comments criticizing me for having a little, which i will not be tolerating.

while yes, i am a caregiver and i love talking to littles here, i am also a real person with responsibilities outside of tumblr, and i need that to be respected. i do not always have the capacity to chat or actively give someone the attention they’d like- it’s never personal if i don’t reply right away, and expecting me to entertain you whenever you want and getting mad when i can’t isn’t okay. i am not a robot you can demand things from, i am another human being like all of you that just gets busy sometimes.

because of some of these experiences i’ve had on here recently, i’m going to be turning off asks and dms for a bit. i’ll turn them back on when i feel comfortable doing so, but too many people have felt too comfortable with being rude towards me lately. i’m placing this boundary now in this post to make this all as clear as possible for you all. take this as a reminder that as fun as it can be as a little to engage with caregivers on here, that caregivers are people too, and that they deserve respect and care just as much as anyone else.

thank you 🤍

[illyrianbitch]

Yeah, I don't think I would deal well with my best friend gossiping about my love life either. It does feel like judgement and not support.

But the tag to worry about Selene? I do worry about her. The moment Az said that she believes the reader is in love with him? Manipulative bish.

And I forgot to point it in my previous ask, but I like that you crested a new character to be the one between Az and reader.... There's a lot of fics with Elain as the selfish villain, so I like when I see her happy.

yes!!

we have seen see readers pov so we understand it’s coming from a place of genuine care and concern. we can assume from some context that other people in their fam, cue mor or nesta, were probably very blunt and dry about the subject to az, but reader and him are closer!! and she’s trying to give it the benefit of the doubt but sees him changing and she’s stressed

but to az, who is probs tired trying to meet these new boyfriend expectations and so desperate to be in love, all he’s seeing is 1. the important females in his life not trusting him and immediately jumping to judgment and 2. his best friend seemingly talking about his unfortunate love life with those from his unfortunate love life. homeboy is embarrassed!!! embarrassment can make people so stupid and irrational

and his lil out outburst has now lead to, a perfectly validated tbh, reaction from reader that is bitter bc she was reduced to some jealous girl 🥲 they’re all so silly

and i’m so glad!! i do my best to avoid elain being vilified in my fics!! we rly don’t know much about her but she’s been described as sweet and sees good in the world, not someone who is just vindictive or mean (and i severely doubt elain would be invested enough to be a selfish villain…girl quietly returned az’s gift after a failed kiss, cmon)

[baekslight]

.

[footballandshit]

people who defend the reposter really don't know how much work goes into recolouring the gifs

precisely!! we spend so much of time and energy into making gifs, and we do it not for money or fame, but for the shared enjoyment of the tumblr community. even if the reposter doesn't get as much or any notes from it, it still constitutes as stealing!

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

My mental health is really going downhill at the moment and with so much to do the struggle is real. I'll probably be more absent till I get everything in check so bare with me. I promise to write as soon as my brain starts properly functioning again. 🫧

[growingwithem]

Eunhyuk donate 40,04 million won to support children and adolescents taking care of sick family member at an age when they need to be taken care of ❤️‍🩹

On April 4, the Green Umbrella Children's Foundation said "On Eunhyuk's birthday, the Super Junior member donated 40,040,000 won to support children and adolescents who care for relatives (children and adolescents who care for relatives or relatives who have difficulties such as disabilities, illnesses and mental illness).

The donation delivered by Eunhyuk is the amount raised by adding the proceeds from Eunhyuk's fan meeting held on March 30th & Eunhyuk's personal expenses. Eunhyuk said, "Since I was a child, seeing my father working at a child welfare center, I wanted to become a person who can help children when I grow up."

Choi Woon-jung, director of the Green Umbrella Children's Foundation's Seoul Regional Headquarters 2, said “I am grateful to Eunhyuk for taking an interest in children and adolescents taking care of their families, a blind spot in child welfare, and spreading a good influence."

Eunhyuk continues to do good deeds since 2021, such as donations to support children's housin.

[taexual]

I'm sure me and the other readers don't mind long chapters, i personally love, i mean REALLY LOVE monster fics, monster chapters like for real, it's lot of hard work and we're here for it honestly so don't worry !!!!

i hope you know how grateful i am for this 🤍🤍🤍 you're the absolute best, thank you so much for reading and for being patient with me 🥺🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

[buckleydiaz]

💍 this is for you

oh boy this is so 😳😳 awkward but…….. i usually wear gold jewelry…. 😳 and this is silver….. so um. is it okay if i return it to the store and get some dope ass earrings or something instead?

[dinosaurwithablog]

It's a safespace... always!!!! 😁😍🫂 I look forward to getting to know you 🤗

[enchantedvistas]

hey there 💛

abelia, mahonia, sage, chamomile, palm tree, nutmeg, papyrus 😊

abelia ⇢ do you have a particular piece of jewelry you always wear or can’t part with?

It’s still not a jewelry, but I will make it into necklace soon. I carry with me Raido rune that my friend made for me and I will never part with it.

mahonia ⇢ what place, thing, activity inspires you most and how do you express yourself when it does?

Im not easily inspired with places, things and activities, they just amaze me and leave me speechless in a good way. Kind souls and good people really inspire me and Im not expressing it in any way they just give me strength to keep going and keep trying.

sage ⇢ what ‘medium’ of art (poetry, music, fiction, paintings, statues etc.) is the most touching to you? why do you think that is?

Definitely music, more accurately lyrics, so we can say poetry also. Bcs I get to experience feelings of love and all that comes with it in a way that I never felt “in real life”… and I can rly feel every word and it makes me always very sad, but it also fulfills part of me that desires all of those things.

chamomile ⇢ what kind of things do you like receiving as gifts?

Anime stuff, runes, books, games hehehe. I hated receiving gifts for so long. But this year I got the best present for my birthday(i hated my birtday until this year). Friend told me “I’m grateful for this day, bcs you were born on it.” And im still speechless, no one ever told me something so nice.

palm tree ⇢ do you have a fictional villain you shouldn’t like but love regardless?

NO! I hate evil and I will never love anything thats evil idc if its fictional or real.

nutmeg ⇢ how’s your room/home decorated? do you have a specific theme or style going on?

Curently its kinda gaming room vibes. All walls are dark gray with random neon blue stripes on walls and I have shelfs with bunch of figures from games and anime series. Looking to change all of that soon in a way like you wanna do your house one day.

papyrus ⇢ if you put your ‘on repeat’ playlist on shuffle, what’s the first song that comes up? what do you like about it / associate it with?

Glimpse Of Us - Joji

It doesnt associate me with anything, bcs there is no -glimpse of us- in my life. But I love it, bcs of the lyrics. Give it a listen or at least read the lyrics, it’s beautiful.

[23victoria]

I LOOVEEEE YOUR WRITING

omgggg thank you so much anon!!!! this means so much to hear! thank you!! 🥹🤍