#thanks for the asks noah 😘

[georgiaswarr]

9, 10 and 34 for the book asks :)

9. A book that was better than you expected it to be

maybe ‘plain bad heroines’ by emily m. danforth? i didn’t really have any expectations going into it and i listened to the audiobook but now i’m very down to reread it in physical form as well

10. A book that didn’t live up to your expectations

probably ‘the seven deaths of evelyn hardcastle’ by stuart turton. i thought it would be a gripping knives out-esque murder mystery and while it did have some intriguing bits and i liked the concept, overall it just fell flat. also there was a whole part where every second sentence was gratuitous fatphobia and i do not stand for it.

also, ‘dirk gently’s holistic detective agency’ by douglas adams was kinda mid imo, but maybe that’s just because i love the tv show so much so my expectations were high.

34. What’s a book you’ve recommended the most this year?

i’m trying to think of books that i outright recommended instead of books i highly do recommend, so. i know i told a couple of people about the short story ‘anxiety is the dizziness of freedom’ by ted chiang (SO GOOD) and i recently recommended ‘the poppy war’ by r.f. kuang to some (with trigger warnings attached to the latter), so i’m gonna go with those :)

ask me about the books i read this year!

[luveline]

JADE I LOVE SINGLE MOM READER AND STEVE! 😭 If requests are open, could we see steve taking the two of them on a date? And lil man wants to hold steves hand but he’s a little shy to ask?

If requests are closed this is just a compliment for you 😘

thank u for requesting <3 mom!reader, 1k

This is far more nerve wracking than previous dates, Steve will admit. He’s never had to buy a girl two bouquets, either. It’s expensive. Probably worth it. 

Steve leans against the doorframe, nervous and attempting to look the opposite. His knock was met with a called, “Coming, Steve!” and little else. 

He’s wondering if he’s the victim of a mean prank when you finally open the door. 

“Hi!” you greet, letting your mini me stumble out of the door before you. “Noah, say hi, baby.”

Noah looks up at Steve, smiles, and carries on down the steps. 

“Hey, bud,” he says with a knowing laugh. “Hi, you,” he adds, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek. 

“Are those for us? Noah, come back! Come back, Steve has a present for you.” 

The flowers he’d bought for Noah are small and maybe ridiculous, he doesn’t know. Noah’s a little boy, and he’s sure some parents might give Steve a funny look for it, but it hadn’t felt weird in the moment. You don't find it weird, clearly —you’re beckoning Noah back to your legs with a smile that practically sparkles, grabbing him up, and showing him the flowers. There’s something startled about you as you point to the smaller bouquet and say, “Oh, babe, look what Steve got for you. Aren’t they pretty? Where are we gonna put them?” 

“You guys look nice, huh? That’s a gift for me, so, I figure, flowers,” he says, not awkward but definitely not smooth. 

“Thank you, Steve.” 

You take Noah’s bouquet and press it into his hands. “Say thank you,” you whisper nicely. 

“Thank you,” Noah says. 

Steve meets his eyes with a smile gentle as yours. “You’re welcome.” 

“Would you wanna hold him?” you ask. “I’ll take the flowers inside. He’ll run down into the street otherwise, and if I take him back in he’ll want me to take off his shoes.” 

Steve doesn’t know what he wants. He really likes your son and he doesn’t have any qualms in helping, but he’s terrified of dropping him, or holding him wrong and hurting him, or making him cry being too close. He doesn’t want you to know that he’s scared of anything, so he shuffles your flowers into one arm and opens the other for Noah, who goes willingly. Steve’s surprised at how easily you move him, then again when Noah surrenders his flowers in the name of hugging Steve’s neck. 

You laugh. Your smile makes him smile, and with the colours of the flowers glowing under your neck, you’re something from a movie. “Aw, babe, are you giving Steve a hug? You’re so nice! You’re lovely.” 

“We’re best friends,” Steve says. 

“We’re best friends,” you say. Best friends seems to be mom code for dating. “You’re just buddies. Don’t get it messed up, Harrington, I’m his favourite.” 

You head back inside. Steve holds Noah close, realising with some awe that even though Noah’s a toddler, his back is barely bigger than Steve’s arm where it’s resting. He’s not heavy. He barely weighs anything at all when he sits like this with his legs either side of Steve’s ribs. 

“Are you ready for our day out?” Steve asks him. “We’re gonna go rollerblading. Did mommy tell you? It’s a toddler disco, and then we’re gonna have pizza. Mom says you love pizza.” 

“Yeah, an’ ‘ronis.” 

“Yeah?” Steve asks, thrilled to be understood and to understand what he’s saying. “I’m gonna get you a huge pepperoni pizza, extra pepperoni. And mommy said you’re pretty good on your little rollerblades. That’s so cool.” 

Noah maybe doesn’t get the last part, but it doesn’t matter. Steve’s tone is making him smile, and he hugs Steve’s neck with a surprising ferociousness. 

“What did you say to him?” you ask, stepping back out of the door, closing it behind you. “He’s gone shy.” 

“I just told him I was gonna buy him a pizza!” Splteve defends. 

“No, it’s a good thing. It just means he’s feeling loved up,” you say, scratching the nape of Noah’s neck. 

“Oh. Good. That’s great.” 

You nod knowingly. “Pretty great. My two best guys getting along.” 

“I’m a best guy?” Steve asks.

You slot yourself into his side with a low lying confidence that has his heart like a hammer in his chest. “Best guy,” you confirm.

You’re unafraid when it comes to him, you have been since you met. You flirt, hug, even kiss without hesitation. And now Noah’s clinging to Steve like he’s known him for months, it’s nice. It’s pretty much everything he’s ever wanted, or the precipice of it, and he’s not going to get ahead of himself but he’s just happy to be liked without any holding back. 

“Can I kiss you?” he asks, quietly but not shyly. 

You pout obligingly, chin up, eyes shutting in total trust. Steve holds Noah away from you rather than have everybody smash their faces together and ducks down for a quick kiss that turns into two, the second of which is soft, and an attempt to show you what he’s feeling without saying it. 

You pull away but bring your hand to his hair, threading your fingertips into the shorter strands by his ear. He’d like to think you’re saying the same thing he was. 

“Mommy,” Noah says. 

“Yeah, bub?” you ask, distracted where you brush Steve’s hair down. 

“Kiss too?” 

You lay your gaze on him with mirth. “Yes! Pucker up, Noah. Gonna give you the biggest one, and then we’re gonna have to get in the car before we miss toddler skate. Ready?” 

You kiss him and tickle his tummy. Steve bites back a cheesy, awful grin. Two new best friends is a sweet deal. 

[silentglassbreak]

Oh babe I hope I can make it!!😂💗

How about Noah dating firefighter? I love women in those fields, they are queens!

Maybe some angst like Noah being away on tour and reader having hard days at work, trying to hold it in cause she doesn't want to worry Noah when he's away, but she's avoiding daily facetime calls lately and Noah gets worried?

Doesn't have to be angst, I'll leave it up to you!

Thank you💗

Wow! We’ve finally made it to your ask, love! I’m sorry for how long it’s taken, but I promise to give this one some extra love - just for you! 😘

After Writing Notes: don't hate me

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Uhm...all of'em. No smut this time. Stressful situations. Angst. Mentions of death. Injury. Hospital setting. Burns.

All You Wanted

Noah was having a really bad day.

Not just shitty, or annoying, or rough.

Bad. Plain and simple.

First, his car wouldn’t start. He tried to turn it over so many times he killed what little juice was left in the battery. No one else was home to give him a ride to the auto parts store, so he had to call an Uber - heavy battery with him - to pick up a fresh one. After the new one was installed, and his car was back in commission, he realized that had taken up two hours.

Next, due to the car issues, he was late to the movie he planned to go see. By the time he was able to make his way to the theater, it was already half over. Rather than wait for another showtime, he elected to not even bother. He was too irritated to enjoy a movie.

Then, as he tried to relax at home and let the frustration of the day pass, he managed to spill his bowl of cereal all over his carpet.

“Did I break glass, or something?” He wondered too himself as his shop vac sucked up the milk and soggy Cinnamon Toast Crunch off of the floor.

However, his day was due to get worse, much to his dismay. He didn’t realize it, but when he set his bowl on his nightstand next to the bed, he slid the candle he kept there over as well. That would’ve been no issue, normally. However, in his haste to grab the vacuum before the milk set in to the carpet, he flung his duvet over the nightstand…

The smell of smoke wafted through his room, and he was almost too angry to notice it. Once he did, he turned to see the corner of his blanket on fire, spreading slowly to the rest of his bed.

Jumping back, he yelped in horror.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” He screamed, grabbing the water bottle he kept on his computer desk and spraying the half-empty contents onto the blaze.

It did virtually nothing, and he groaned, darting downstairs. Faster than he thought he could, he ran to the kitchen and grabbed the extinguisher from under the bathroom sink.

By the time he made it back to his bedroom, his entire bed was ablaze, pillows smoking heavily, and bed frame catching.

“Fuck!” He pulled the pin on the extinguisher, releasing the fog desperately, losing his breath as the mixture of fire retardant and smoke filled his lungs.

“Dude!” A voice came behind him, and he turned to see Jolly staring at him, grocery bag still in hand, a look of shock on his face.

Noah was coughing harshly now as Jolly’s hands came to wrap around the extinguisher.

“Go! Go outside and call 911! You need to breathe!”

Noah just nodded, backing out of the room and swiping his phone off of the desk. As he made his way down, his fingers dialed.

“911, what is your emergency?”

Noah and Jolly sat on the tailgate of Jolly’s pickup, staring at the house. Smoke still billowed out of the upstairs window of Noah’s room, and firefighters moved in and out of the house periodically.

The fire was out, but they still wouldn’t allow the men inside as they cleared it.

Noah’s room was about 50% burned, as he was told by the fire Captain. Luckily, the burn was contained to the bedroom, and nowhere else in the house sustained more than smoke damage. It was a relief, but also devastating. He didn’t know how much he lost of his belongings, but - at the very least - he’d be sleeping on the couch for a while.

“Guys?” Both of their heads looked up, seeing you stood in front of them. Your face still had soot coating your cheeks, and your hair was disheveled from the helmet you wore. “We’ve got the house secured and stabilized, so I’ll be able to take you in soon. The room will be off limits until the Fire Marshall can come through and confirm no structural damage to the walls or ceiling. We’ll seal it.”

Noah’s eyes fixed on you, wondering how, despite the gray cast on your skin and obvious sweat sheen on your forehead, you could manage to be so cute. You weren’t petite, per se, but you were small. Smaller than what he’d expected in a fire fighter. You stood with your shoulders square and tall, all business. The frayed, frizzy hair on your head was pulled back in a low ponytail.

“Have you both been checked out by EMS?” You pointed to both Noah and Jolly, and the two of them nodded in response. “Good. You want to take a look?”

Jolly clapped a hand to Noah’s shoulder, and hopped off of the truck. Following suit, Noah paced slowly behind both yourself and his brother, the guilt creeping in.

He had set his house on fire…

His home. His sanctuary. His haven. He lit it on fucking fire.

This was some kind of cosmic metaphor for his luck, right? That’s how his entire day had been…a dumpster fire.

Following you into the house, and trekking up the stairs, the guys stopped at the doorway to Noah’s room. Two additional firemen were poking around, checking for any embers.

First thing Noah noticed was that his bed was gone. Not burnt…gone. Reduced to ash on what used to be the carpet beneath it. The raw wood flooring was below, blackened. His nightstand was charred pretty badly, but one side of it was still the red oak color it was previously. His computer desk seemed virtually untouched, and he breathed relief from his lungs.

“Whose room is it?” You looked between the two boys, and Jolly looked at Noah from the side of his eyes. With a heavy sigh, Noah raised his hand begrudgingly. “Okay. If you need anything out of here, now is the time. We’ve taped off the areas you cannot walk in at all, so don’t step over the tape. Other than that, go ahead and grab your stuff.”

Noah nodded, taking a careful step into the room, the floor creaking with his weight. He clenched his jaw, and walked over to his laptop, pulling it from the desk and unplugging the charger. He gathered several other things he assumed he’d need for the next day or so, and stepped back out.

“The Marshall will be able to come by in the morning to inspect. After that, you can begin getting the repairs done.”

“Thank you.” He spoke to you directly, but didn’t look at you. Jolly had retreated to his own room, shutting the door behind him.

“Hey?” He looked up at you, eyes saddened. “You going to be okay?”

He nodded, moving past you down the hall. You followed him. “Yeah. Just kind of jarring. I’ve never had a fire before.”

You both padded down the stairs. “I get that.”

His shoulders bounced as he walked, and even three to four steps ahead, he was taller than you. You took note in your head of how large he was, and it made you smirk.

“You sure you're going to be alright?”

He didn’t answer verbally, rather just shrugged his shoulders and dropped his items on the couch. You began making your way toward the door, but turned around to look at him.

“Just out of curiosity,” His eyes flashed to look at yours, and you couldn’t help but notice that, like the rest of him, they were so big. “What started the fire? We couldn’t find the ignition source. We just knew it started on the bed.”

He scratched the back of his head, his lips turning up in a nervous smile.

“A candle.”

You raised your eyebrows. “A candle? On the bed?”

He shook his head. “No, it was on the nightstand. I dropped my blanket over it on accident, I think.”

Teeth biting into your lower lip, you suppressed the laugh that was bubbling in your chest. What an interesting way to start a fire? You had heard a lot of candle-related incidents, but this was a first.

"Well, probably best to not have candles in the room anymore?"

His eyes widened, and he stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Never burning another candle again, actually."

You couldn't help it, the giggle escaped without being able to catch it. "Alright, well be careful in that room, okay?"

He acknowledged you silently, and you wanted to turn to leave, but you were distracted by the walls, decorated with framed vinyl, guitars, and magazine covers blown up to poster-size. You noticed in some of the photographs, him and the other man were posed with two other guys.

You pointed a finger to the poster directly in front of you. "You in a band or something?"

He smirked, leaning back on his heels. "Something like that?"

Nodding, you heard Ramos, your Captain, calling for you from outside.

"Well, what's it called? I'll listen to it."

"Bad Omens."

Turning your body toward the door, you probed a little further. "Right on. Rock, I assume?"

He nodded. "Metal."

Your teeth flashed, and you saw his eyes light up just a little. "Nice." Your name was called from outside again. "I didn't catch your name?"

You held your hand out for him to shake, and he took it gracefully.

"Noah."

His hand gave yours a firm shake. "Y/N. Nice to meet you, Noah."

With that, you began heading for the door.

"Uh," His voice chimed behind you, and you turned your neck back to him. "Could I, maybe, get your number?"

Your chest warmed, and the grin that spread across your face threatened to break your jaw bone. You thought about it for a moment, pulling your brows together. That was a bit forward, so you responded as appropriately as you could.

"125." And you began walking away.

"Wait, what?"

Still walking through the door, you turned around, and waved. "You'll figure it out."

It took three days. Three long, annoying days for him to figure it out.

But he did.

You were sat in the dorm, shaking off the two hours of sleep you had achieved before the alarm woke you up. It wasn't your turn to head out, but there was no sleeping through that noise. The last twenty-six hours had been grueling, and you couldn't wait to get through the next ten, and go home for your two days off.

You stalked into the kitchen, waiving at Gillman and Reed in the training room. The coffee was heavenly, warming your insides enough to fully wake.

"Y/L/N?" Your head cocked to the bay door, Ramos standing on the other side. You had your hips leaned against the counter, and you were too tired to stand at full attention. "There's someone here asking for you."

Cocking an eyebrow, you huffed away from the countertop, setting your coffee down, and walked to the door. Who the hell was going to come see you at work?

You pushed the heavy door open, and behind it, stood right next to engine #14, was a tall, brown-eyed boy, smiling at you. It had been such a long few days, you had honestly forgotten about your encounter with him back at his house. After you finished up the paperwork, it had been jammed into the back of your head.

"Hey?" You asked, crossing your arms in front of you. "I see you figured it out?"

He nodded, pursing his lips. "Station 125. Yep, took me a while."

Shaking your head, you laughed. "Well, what can I do for you?"

In his hand, he held a small brown paper bag, and presented it in front of him. "For you."

"What's this?"

Smirking, he handed you the gift. "Just a token of my gratitude."

Unfolding the top, you scoffed when you saw what was inside.

"A candle?"

He snorted. "Not just any candle." He took it from your hands, showing the label. "This is a WoodWick Sagewood scented candle." He placed it back in your hands. "It's exactly the same as the one that burned my bedroom down."

You laughed at this, gawking at the glass in your hand. "And why did you want me to have one?"

Suddenly, he looked unsure. "I had a really cool, witty reason, when I picked it up at the store. I can't seem to remember now, though." He scrubbed a hand over the back of his neck. "To be honest, it's my favorite scented candle."

You nodded, recognizing the sweet gesture. "Thank you."

It fell quiet between you both, and you put the candle back in the bag.

"So." You set the bag down on the step of the engine, and recrossed your arms.

"So." He repeated. His eyes darted around the bay, taking all of it in. "You're a fire fighter, huh?"

This made you outright cackle. "Yeah? What gave me away?"

He sighed out a defeated chuckle. "Yeah, that was a dumb question."

"Why did you come here, Noah? Just to give me a candle?"

He shook his head, hands buried in his pockets once again. "No, I uh," He took a deep breath and looked at you. "I came to ask you on a date."

Your eyebrows shot up. "A date?"

"Mhm." Noah chewed on the inside of his cheek.

"Noah, you know nothing about me."

He leaned forward for emphasis. "Right, usually what people do on dates - " He put a hand up to gesture between you. "get to know each other."

Well, hard to argue that.

"I mean, you don't know if I'm married or have a boyfriend."

"Do you?" He didn't seem bothered by your statement, his question sounding more like a formality.

"Well, no."

"You're allowed to say no." He smiled, then. It was genuine, and it made one of your own creep onto your face.

"I wasn't going to."

6 Months Later

"Noah, it's not that big of a deal." You trudged through the airport toward the Delta desk, and stood behind at least twelve people, your phone pressed firmly to your cheek.

"It's a huge deal, babe!" He sounded so exasperated. "I haven't seen you in two weeks, and I miss you!"

You giggled, leaning your head back. "I miss you too, honey, but shit happens. I'll catch the next available flight, and I'll be there before you know it."

"Think they'll have another one today?" You glanced around the airport, seeing the groups of displaced, disgruntled passengers.

"With this storm? It's doubtful. I overheard one of the workers saying winds were as strong as one hundred miles per hour."

"Okay, but once you're up at altitude, none of that matters."

You rolled you eyes. "Can't get up to altitude if the plane blows out of the sky, babe."

"I know, I know. I'm just pissed off."

The line was crawling, but you were slowly getting closer to the desk.

"It's alright. I'll make something happen, okay? As soon as I have news, I'll call you?"

"Okay, babe. I love you."

Your face blushed. You still weren't used to that. "Love you too."

You disconnected the call and took a deep breath.

The woman working for Delta Airlines looked as stressed as a person could be without physically combusting.

"Hello, are you here about the cancelled flight?" You just nodded, showing your boarding pass on your phone. "Okay. Well, all of our flights have been cancelled until further notice. We have no way of knowing when the storm will die down, so right now, we're not rescheduling any flights. We're only offering a credit."

You squeezed your eyes shut, trying not to get too upset. "Do you know if any other airlines are still booking flights?"

She shook her head. "We've all been grounded until the wind dies down."

Shrugging hard, you gave her your information so she could put in for the credit, and walked away from the desk. You decided not to call Noah back right away, needing to deal with the irritation and disappointment yourself first.

You called an Uber outside the airport, and made your way the short distance back to the apartment. After you had huffed your bag down onto the couch, you sat on the edge of your bed, allowing yourself a moment to sulk.

The last six months had been a dream. After your first date with Noah, which included a dinner at a beachside restaurant in Santa Monica and arcade games at the pier, you and him were absolutely intertwined together. The clicking noise you made was loud and strong, keeping you both in a stranglehold over each other.

As different of people as you were, you learned that Noah was not nearly as different from you as you had assumed. He grew up in West Virginia, a rough life, dropped out of high school, joined a band young, and ended up a successful rockstar after twelve years of hard, rigorous work.

Your life had been quite the opposite. You had lived in Los Angeles your entire life, namely Orange County. You lived with both parents, who were mostly well-off with high powered careers. They wanted a lot for you, growing up. Education. Career. Family. Marriage.

You wanted none of it. You wanted to be free. You wanted to get tattoos and go to festivals in the desert. You wanted to know who you were spiritually. You wanted to paint and sketch. You wanted to find out who you were.

Somewhere along the way, in your twenties, you learned more about yourself than you ever wanted. You learned that you trusted too easy. You were easily persuaded and pressured. You weren't prepared for the life you thought you wanted.

So, like a lot of young, naive women do in the city of angels, you got run down, stepped on, and burned out. Sex, drugs, rock and roll, that's what it was all about right?

It wasn't until your last relationship ended - badly - that you decided you were done. You wanted chaos, but the kind you could stop. The kind you could help. You found firefighting. It was a big adjustment, but you took to it well. You did the courses, you took the classes. In less than a year, you were out in the field with all the men, running into the blaze and extinguishing the flames.

It was incredible.

So, where did that leave you and Noah? You worked thirty-six hour shifts with eight hours in between until your mandatory two days off every ten days. It was grueling, but he stuck it out. He'd visit you on your overnights when it had been quiet, bringing food and promising not to get in the way. When you had your days off, he typically kidnapped you, holding you hostage in his bed for the duration.

Noah's life was busy as well, constantly touring, it felt like. Currently, he was in Philadelphia, a show later that evening. You had taken your seven vacation days and had planned to fly out to Pennsylvania, travel with him to his next two shows, and fly home with him from New York City. He had four weeks off before he had to head over to Europe, and he claimed to spend as much of that time with you as humanly possible.

Imagine how much of a kink this storm put in his plans.

The phone rang on the other end while you waited for him to pick up. You laid flat on your back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"Hey! I go on stage in ten minutes. Did you rebook the flight?"

You sighed hard. "No."

"No? Why not?"

"Noah, all of the flights are grounded because of the storm. They don't know when they'll be back up, so they wouldn't rebook me."

You could hear the agitation leaking out of his voice. "God damn it!"

"Don't get too worked up before the show. I'll be out there as soon as I can, okay?"

"Has there been any news of how long this shit's supposed to go on for?"

You threw an arm over your eyes. "The weather report I read says it could last through Monday."

"Monday?! We're supposed to be on our way home by then!"

Pinching the bridge of your nose, you kept your voice even. "Noah, please don't yell at me."

"Doesn't this bother you?" He was frustrated, and you knew that it wasn't your fault. You knew that he knew that, but it didn't help the feeling that he was angry with you for something completely out of your control.

"Of course it does, babe, but there's nothing I can do." You sat up, crossing your legs in front of you.

He scoffed on the other end. "Yeah, alright, whatever."

You rolled your eyes. "Baby," He didn't say anything. "I get you're mad, but please don't take it out on me?"

"I got to go."

Your heart sunk a little, a stinging in your eyes emerging. "Okay. Have a great show okay?" Again, he didn't respond. "I love you, Noah."

"Yep. Bye." And the line went dead.

The night had drug on. You waited as patiently as you could for the concert to end, and to give Noah enough time to relax before you tried reaching out. After three hours, you decided enough time had passed, and you dialed him.

But he didn’t answer.

Instead of blowing up his phone like your internal anxiety was trying to convince you to, rather, you decided to send him a simple text.

You: Hey, I know you’re upset, baby. I’m sorry this didn’t work out the way we wanted, but just know that I love you, and I will see you as soon as I possibly can. Call me when you get a chance. ❤️

You dropped your phone on the bed and sighed loudly, walking over to the couch to begin unpacking your bag.

By the end of the night, you hadn’t had a single text or call from Noah, so you had tried to accept that he just wasn’t going to reach out anymore tonight. You’d try again tomorrow. You loved Noah, more than you could’ve ever expected, but the speed at which he threw a tantrum like a child was a turn off, and you were combatting the urge to cringe at the thought.

You had only been together six months. You had no baggage together. You lived apart. You had no pets or plants together. You didn’t have any financial ties. If things didn’t work out, it was as simple as goodbye.

And as much as you loved Noah, you couldn’t help but feel the tug inside, reminding you that this wasn’t the first fit Noah had thrown over not getting his way.

He wanted to take you out for your birthday six weeks ago. You didn’t know where, it was a surprise. But you ended up called in to work, and it was an all hands on deck. Forest fire. They were everywhere lately, and when you were called, it was non-negotiable.

Noah hadn’t taken that too well. He begged you not to go, asked you to fake sick or pretend to be out of town. That was not happening. You had a job - an important job. It wasn’t as if you didn’t go in, the work would be there tomorrow. This wasn’t cancelling a concert. There were lives on the line.

He didn’t comprehend that in the moment, and stormed out of your apartment. He didn’t call you until the following day, after you had been out for sixteen hours and had finally fallen into your pillows to sleep for five hours before going back out. He was apologizing frantically, and begging you to forgive him.

And truly? You were too tired not to. You let him come over and snuggle you a while before you had to leave again.

Then there was the time you were too sick to come over. That was earlier on in the relationship, so his reaction was slightly less dramatic, but it was still frustrating nonetheless.

You had been fevering and vomiting the entire day. It was one of your off-days, and he wanted to you to go to his place to watch movies and whatever else came with that. In the state you were in, it was entirely out of the question. Besides the fact that you were likely contagious, you were disgusting. Your hair was greasy from sweat, your skin was a sickening pale, and you spent 80% of the day hugging the toilet and emptying your stomach violently.

Rather than throwing an all out fit, he just resorted to texting you here and there to check in, but kept his messages cold. He showed up the following day with supplies, mask on, and claimed he really didn’t care if he got sick or not.

You overlooked it.

There were small things that happened here and there, but it never was enough to stick out in your mind.

But tonight, this just felt off-putting. More so than before.

You tossed and turned on the mattress, your heart begging for your phone to chime, proving your assumptions were wrong…but it never did.

As your mind drifted closer to sleep, the memories began rolling into your brain.

“Noah, I don’t understand why you can’t just tell me where we’re going!”

His lips were plucked up into a playful smirk. “Wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you!”

He guided your hand, trailing you behind him, and trekking through the trees around you.

“Are you bringing me out here to murder me?”

He turned, stopping, look of absolute horror on his face. “Who told you?!”

You lowered your lids and shifted your weight one one leg, rolling your eyes. He giggled in response.

“Babe, just trust me, okay?”

You continued to follow him deeper into the forest, losing your way from the path further and further.

“We’re lost, aren’t we?”

Before you could get a response, you hit a break in the treeline, and a large clearing laid out before you. It was beautiful and picturesque, looking to span about a square quarter mile. So out of place among the expanse of greenery, you gazed around, taking it in.

“Oh wow.” The air in the clearing was sweeter than the woods, and you could see white butterflies catching the light pooling on the grass.

“Come on.” He was still pulling you toward the far side of the clearing.

At the edge, he stopped abrupt, and gestured with a hand toward some large stones near the trees. Taking a step closer, you could see more clearly that the moss-covered fixtures weren’t any stones.

They were headstones.

Stepping forward carefully, you pulled a large arm of vines off of one that was cross-shaped, revealing the crumbling rock, engraving nearly illegible. You took a step back, and noticed rows and rows of them along the trees. They blended in naturally, overtaken by the Earth.

“Noah,” You turned to look at him. “whose graves are these?”

He shrugged his shoulders, walking up to one that was broken in half.

“I found this clearing about a year ago while hiking. There’s twenty-two graves here. Most of the etchings are illegible or worn off now, but the couple I found date back to the early 1900s.” He approached one in particular, smaller than the ones around it.

Squatting down, he brushed the moss off of the plaque and read it aloud.

“Emily Wheatley. Born 1913. Died 1918.”

The thought made your heart hurt. “She was five…”

Your voice was somber.

“Yeah, from what I gather, these are all people who died during the Spanish Flu pandemic.” He patted the tiny stone with care, and stood back up. “Back in that time, so many people were dying so fast, a lot of folks just ended up buried on their own properties or in their communities. Maybe that’s what happened here?”

You nodded, bending down to another grave, running your hand over the decaying concrete. “These tombstones look handmade.”

He nodded. “I bet they were.”

Your fingers touched the cracks of the stones, feeling the lives that were laid to rest here. Such a beautiful place to spend eternity.

“These are incredible, Noah.”

Looking up at him, he smiled down at you. “I’d hoped you’d like it.”

Your eyes danced from each grave. “Like it? It’s so serene. So stunning. I could stay here for hours. I love it.”

“I love you.”

If you had been any more entranced with your surroundings, you would’ve missed it. It was so quiet and uncertain.

Your eyes peered up to Noah, who looked wrecked with nerves.

“What?” You stood, looking directly at him.

“I love you, Y/N.”

Your bottom lip twitched, a heavy tingling sensation covering your face.

“I love you too.”

His eyes lit up, but he didn’t smile yet.

“Really?”

All you had to do was kiss him. That’s all you could manage, overwhelmed with emotion. His lips pressed against yours, hands wrapping around you and lifting your feet off the ground.

His admission was so raw, in this beautiful, wonderful place of death and rest. You had never felt more sure about anything other than the fact that you loved Noah, and you would never stop.

The ringtone sounded like a shrill scream, waking you from the memory that was laid softly in your brain, buzzing you in your sleep and helping you forget your worries or concerns.

For a split second, your heart leapt, thinking only one person could be calling you at whatever hour this is, right? The clock on your nightstand told you it was four-thirty in the morning.

Your hand scrambled to your bedside table to answer the call, failing to even check the screen for who was calling. You were so sure of who it was…

“Hello?”

“Y/L/N?” Ramos’ gruff voice rang through the receiver. You flopped your body back onto the bed, internally groaning.

“Yes sir?” 

“Did you make it out of town before the flights were grounded?”

You scrubbed a hand over your eyes. “No, sir. I was going to try and get another today.”

“No dice, unfortunately. The storm’s gotten worse.”

This time, your displeasure came out audibly. “Lovely.”

“Sorry about that, kid. But, listen, we have an all hands situation.”

You sat up now, already swinging your legs off of the mattress.

“Yeah? Where?”

“The Cajon Pass. LA Fire’s called in hands in six additional counties. They’ve so far had over a hundred acres burnt and the wind is causing a rapid spread.”

You stood in front of the bathroom mirror, and put your phone down on the counter, now on speaker.

“Any aerial attempts yet?”

“Mhm. They’ve dropped 4,000 gallons so far.”

Sucking your teeth, you let your head fall back. “Damn.” You began running a brush through your hair. “Alright, when do we head out?”

“Thirty minutes.”

You picked up your phone, staring at the screen. “I’ll be there.”

You ended the call, and quickly swiped to your home screen. 

No missed calls. No missed texts.

Despite the volume of people riding in the engine, the air was silent. It always was when you headed to the site of a wildfire. No matter how much you thought you knew about it, it was always worse than you were expecting, so you never found any lightheartedness in the atmosphere.

You sat next to Ramos as he tightened the boots on his feet. Your back was leaned heavy against the side of the rig, the bench bouncing beneath you as you headed toward the approaching disaster.

Your mind should’ve been running through the brief again, or reciting your safety protocols. But you were too focused elsewhere.

You couldn’t stop thinking about Noah. 

Fingers hooked onto the gold chain you wore around your neck, the small glass stone smooth as you twirled it back and forth. The necklace was newer to you, only haven been gifted it two months ago before Noah left on tour, but even then - you hadn’t removed it once.

It was a custom piece. The glass was hand-blown and a beautiful shade of amber. It was clouded with ash - specifically from burnt sage. Noah had told you it was a representative of the both of you, and it signified that although you had met under such unfortunate circumstances, you had managed to find something so stunning in the process - much like the stone.

While thinking of this, you felt conflicted. Emotions over your relationship with Noah were so back and forth, frustrating you. 

The look on your face must have been telling, because a hand dropped on your knee, and you looked up to Ramos.

“You alright there, kid?”

Nodding, you gave him a half-smile. “Yeah. Just a lot on my mind.”

“Bummed about having to change your plans?”

Shrugging your shoulders, you ran your palms over the tops of your thighs.

“Yeah.”

“That’s not too convincing. Weren’t you going to see Noah back East?”

“Right.”

He leaned back, turning his head to look directly at you. “Was he upset?”

Lifting your eyebrows, you breathed heavily. “Oh, yeah.”

“Well, hopefully once this fucking wind dies down, you can head out there.”

You let your eyes fall to the window on the opposing side of the engine, letting your vision unfocus.

“Or not.”

This caught him, his eyebrow raising suspiciously.

“Oh?”

Over the years, you’d come to learn that Ramos was more than just your Captain at times. He also had become one of the few people in your life that you could consider a friend. He was a staggering twelve years older than you, so he gave an older-sibling, protective type persona. It made life easier when you had a safe place to come to with your personal problems.

You sighed heavily, rubbing your temples. “I can’t say for sure if I I’ll be joining Noah.”

“Because of the transportation issues?”

Shaking your head, you fiddled with you fingers in your lap. “Not just that. He hasn’t even texted me back since last night.”

He grunted. “Why? Was he mad at you?”

“I don’t know if he was mad at me, but I know he felt like I didn’t care that our plans were cancelled. Which is ridiculous, you know that.” You looked up at him, and he nodded in return.

“Right.” He gave a short response so he could leave space for you to continue.

“So I don’t fucking get why he catches such a fucking attitude with me!” You slapped a hand down on your leg in irritation. “Like, who does he think he is? I didn’t cause the God damn storm! I didn’t force the planes down on the ground! I wanted to see him just as badly! I’m just an adult who understands that throwing a tantrum gets us nowhere, so fuck me, right?”

Letting out a hard breath you had been holding, you let the words vibrate off of you, lifting a weight off of your spine you didn’t notice before.

He chuckled low, staring down at you. “How’d that feel?”

You had your eyes closed, enjoying the lighter feeling. “Good. I had been holding it in.”

“As usual.” He bumped your shoulder, making you look up at him. “Give him a little time, Y/N. He’ll come around. He always does.”

You shrugged. “I know he does. But how many times is he going to do this? It’s stupid, and it makes me anxious for literally no reason every time. Sure, he says he’s sorry after, but that’s doesn’t erase the feeling.”

Considering this, Ramos nodded his head. “That’s valid. You know better than I do that maturity doesn’t exactly come naturally to us men. He’s, what, twenty-nine?”

“Twenty-eight.”

“Right, so he’s practically a teenager, still. I’m not saying that excuses his behavior. Not at all. But I’m just saying, I was very similar at that age. I get it.”

You shrugged. “How long did it take you to quit acting like a child?”

He laughed again. “Ask my wife, and she’ll tell you I never did.”

You smirked, your hand finding your necklace again, twirling it around in your fingers. His words permeated you.

Maybe he was right. Maybe you just needed to give Noah some time to navigate his own emotions. At some point, preferably soon, you’d need to talk to him so you both could work out the behavior. Maybe there was something you were doing that could be improved as well as him? 

Maybe the consideration of ending things was a bit premature.

Pulling out your phone, you checked and saw your messages had still been unread. Shaking off the sinking feeling, you typed out a quick message.

You: Hey babe. I got called out to a wildfire in the Cajon Pass. Flights are still grounded. I’m so sorry this didn’t go the way we wanted, but when I get home, I need to hear your voice. I know you’re upset, but I really think we should talk. I’ll call you as soon as I’m headed home. I love you, Noah. I hope you had a great show, and slept well. Talk to you soon.

Noah stared out of the window, rain pelting the glass, creating designs in the cityscape below. 

���You going sit there and brood, or are you going to come eat?" Folio's voice bounced off of the glass he stared into. He wanted nothing more than to tell him to fuck right off and not bother responding, but he knew that wasn't going to get him anywhere he wanted to be.

With a huff, he stood up out of the chair, and stalked over to the table the rest of the guys sat at. Nick was shoveling bacon into his mouth while Jolly sipped coffee from his mug. Folio was finishing off the last of his pancakes with urgent bites.

Noah stared down at his breakfast, grimacing at the plate. He wasn't hungry, but if he didn't eat now, he couldn't even guess when he would be willing to try again. Reluctantly, he picked up his fork and dug into the scrambled eggs.

"Dude, if you're so bent out of shape over it, why don't you just call her?" Jolly set his cup down and leaned back in his chair.

"If she wanted to talk, she would've called. She's probably pissed at me." Noah rolled the bland food around in his mouth, setting his fork down and groaning. "She should be. I was such a dick."

"Or," Nick spoke up from across the table, looking up at Noah with deep seated, irritated eyes. "she's waiting for your tantrum to be over, and for you to call her. You are the one who hung up on her, remember?" His best friend was the least patient with Noah's temper.

"Alright, I get it, okay? I already said I was a dick." Noah threw himself back in the chair, snarling back at Nick.

Nick, however, wasn't having it. Instead, he set his cup down and crossed his arms over his chest. "Do you get it? Or are you just saying that until the next time you act like a baby?"

The words came off Noah's lips like venom. "The fuck did you just say to me?"

"Let's keep it calm, guys." Jolly's Dad voice started emerging. Folio eye's flashed between his two brothers anxiously.

"You fucking heard me, dude. I'm so sick of your mood swings every time you decide to be an ass to her. That girl isn't going to put up with you forever, you know that?" Nick was nonchalant in his tone, but his words were just as sharp as his counterpart's.

Noah stood, catching the edge of his plate and making a sharp clattering on the table.

"Fuck you, dude!" He tossed a stray apple from the fruit bowl in the center of the table at Nick. "You don't know shit!"

Nick caught the apple, standing nearly in sync with Noah.

"No? I haven't known you longer than everyone else here? I haven't watched you drive away girl after girl after girl?" He gestured with his hands in a circular motion.

Noah scoffed. "What difference does it make to you? It's not your relationship." His hands were balled into fists at his sides.

Nick snorted, incredulous. "Well, for starters, every time this happens, we all have to deal with your bullshit attitude!" His eyebrows raised, and the other two men at the table looked away.

"On top of that," Nick kept speaking before Noah could rebut his argument. "this one actually fucking loves you, you jackass." These words came out just a touch softer, and Noah deflated like a punctured balloon. His shoulders fell in, signaling his instant defeat.

Nick continued. "Y/N is a rad fucking girl, man. We all like her." Jolly and Folio nodded in agreement. "We don't want you to fuck this one up. She deserves better than you throwing a fit like a toddler when you don't get your way."

That stung.

Noah didn't enjoy being this way. He never tried to hurt you. If there was one thing that came with a lack of upbringing and a tumultuous adolescence, it was a complete and total absence of understanding emotion.

He didn't know how to deal with it. Anger? Sadness? Happiness? Those were - for lack of a better term - big fucking emotions, and he never knew where to put them. Reigning them in was not something he was fluent in at all, and he hated that about himself.

Every time this happened, and he found himself lashing out or turning cold toward you, he told himself that was the last time. He wouldn't keep doing this. It wasn't fair to you that he didn't know a better way to express himself than to take it out on you. To Nick's credit, he was right. It was surprising you had stayed.

"I don't-" Noah cut himself off, biting his own tongue before another excuse rolled off of it. He instead opted for the far more bitter option. "I know."

He shrugged back down into his chair, face falling into his hands. "I can't keep doing this. I'm going to lose her if I do." His words came out muffled, but they had heard him.

"Just call her, man." Nick's voice was relaxed, now. Back to it's normal cadence.

"I'm going to." He stood again, heading for the other side of the room where his phone sat on the bedside table. He picked it up, noting still no notifications on the screen. His insides clenched.

"What do I even say?" He chewed his bottom lip.

"Tell her you forgot to take your phone off Do Not Disturb after the show." Folio said around the food in his mouth.

Noah rolled his eyes. "I don't think lying to her is the right choice, bro."

Folio just lifted his shoulders, smirking.

Swiping open the phone, it opened to his banking app, which was the last thing he had used before he fell asleep the night before. But before he could close it, against the dark background of the screen, he saw it. Upper left corner of the screen.

The tiny white moon.

"Oh fuck!"

Nick's face fell. "You fucking didn't."

"I always turn it off! I never forget!"

Jolly spoke up. "You were worked up last night..."

Noah swiped to the home screen, seeing the 2 icon on top of the message app. He also saw the signal of missed calls. His fingers ripped through his hair, and he stood up.

"At least you're not lying to her!" Folio added as Noah pressed the phone to his face, immediately calling you back.

Your phone rang, but he was eventually met with your voicemail.

"Fuck! What time is it in California?"

"Seven." Jolly responded.

"She's probably sleeping." Noah maneuvered to the messages, seeing the message from last night first, his heart sinking.

He felt like a combination of dirt and that residue that gum leaves on the bottom of your shoe.

He then saw the message from this morning, and sank down onto the end of the bed, staring blankly.

"What's wrong, dude?" Nick nodded to Noah, trying to get his attention.

"There's uh," He tried to calm his racing thoughts. "there's a fire in the Cajon Pass. She got called down to help."

"How long ago did she text you?"

Noah sighed heavily. "Two hours ago. She's probably just getting started out there."

His fingers began frantically typing a response to you.

Noah: Hey baby. I'm so fucking sorry. My phone was on DND overnight, and I'm such an idiot and didn't turn it off. I'm an idiot for more than just that. I'm sorry for how I acted. I know that wasn't okay, and I can't even begin to tell you how awful I feel. I promise I will make it up to you as soon as humanly possible. Please call me as soon as you can. Please be safe. I love you, more than you could ever know.

"How long does she usually stay out?"

Folio and Jolly stared at Noah, the sounds of all of the people moving around the room blurring together as he stared at the unread message he had sent over twelve hours prior.

"It really varies. Sometimes hours? Days? Depends on the fire."

Folio was staring down at his phone now, eyes fixed on something on the screen. His elbow tapped Jolly, handing him the device. Jolly's eyes scanned the text on the phone, and sighed hard. This all went unseen to Noah, who was just spacing out at his own text.

"Why don't you try calling again?" Folio chimed.

"I've tried to call six times." His voice was solemn.

"Have you called the station?" Noah's eyes flicked up to Nick, who was now staring down at him from where he stood directly in front of his legs.

Noah hadn't considered it, but what could it hurt?

The line rang twice before Reed answered. "Station 125. Is this an emergency?"

"It's not. I don't think. Reed, is that you?"

"Who's calling?"

Noah tried to keep his patience. "It's Noah."

"Oh." The man on the other line paused. "Hey Noah, hang on, okay?"

For a split second, he felt bad. He was calling her job. They had more important things to worry about than him and his paranoia.

This only lasted that split second, when the line picked back up.

"Noah?" The deep, raspy voice was unmistakable.

"Ramos?" Why was he talking to your boss, and not you? "Hey, is Y/N around?"

"She, uh" He cleared his throat. "she's not right now."

"Did she go home already?"

The line was silent. Eerily blank, white noise buzzing through the receiver.

"Are you in town, Noah? Can you come to the station?"

Something in Noah's stomach twisted hard, the little food he had eaten that day threatening to make a reappearance.

His words. His tone.

"I'm in New York." Was all Noah could get out without retching.

Ramos sighed. "If it's possible, I think it's best you get here soon."

"Ramos..." Noah was standing, back stiff as drywall. "Where is she?"

"Listen, I'm going to tell you this, but I need you to stay calm, alright?"

Noah didn't audibly respond, praying he would just continue.

"We don't know exactly where she is."

The ground fell out under his feet. Noah was free-falling through space and time, only the words swirling around him.

"What?" The word came out as a breath, or what was supposed to be one.

"The fire had spread to several neighborhoods. She went out with a unit lead by LA Fire. There were some collapses, and they're still trying to get everyone evacuated and located."

English was no longer Noah's first language. It was panic.

"What?!" His voice topped out, cracking hard at the end. "What do you mean?! Was she in a building when it collapsed?! Is she hurt?!"

"Noah, calm down."

"Calm down?!" Hands were on his shoulders, trying to physically restrain his arms flailing. "Why are you in Calabasas?! Why aren't you out there?!"

"Noah, I had to come back and get some food and rest. I'm headed back out in five minutes to rejoin search and rescue. We're going to find her."

The water flowing down Noah's cheeks went entirely unnoticed. He couldn't form any more words.

"Like I said before, it's best if you get here soon."

East to West Coast flights are already long. However, they tend to be much longer when you're working hard to not go into full panic attack mode.

Noah hated flying. Despite Nick being sat next to him, soothing small circles into the back of his hand every time he would begin to tremble, he was a semi-catatonic mess the entirety of the plane ride.

It wasn't until they were pulling up off of the highway, right to the barricades set up by the fire engines, did he feel himself come back to life. Ramos met them at the edge of the blockade, waving them through. He then took them on a short drive in his Jeep through the hills. What started as plush greenery, soon turned to charred, blackened, ashy mess. The sky grayed over them, the rising sun not having a prayer of breaking through the deep hue of sobering truth in front of them.

The small, hillside town hidden within the Pass was completely leveled. Buildings barely stood, crumbling horrifically around them.

"Now listen, you two will do as I say, when I say it, is that understood?" His voice was stern, all business.

Nick answered audibly, but Noah just shook his head as he watched the destroyed town around him. Civilians sat in ambulances, wrapped in blankets. Firemen in all different uniform colors roamed the streets around them. It resembled a warzone.

"How did this happen?" Noah spoke against the glass.

"We haven't determined the cause yet, but our best guess is a series of bonfires. Add the high winds?"

Noah's spine tingled at the thought.

"Now, listen, you two are here on a volunteer basis. There will be waivers to sign, and we'll get you some gear. I'm going to take you to the neighborhood where Y/N was last seen. We're looking for any and all civilians. Alive, or otherwise."

Noah's neck snapped to his left, staring at the large man next to him.

"Otherwise?" He swallowed hard. "People died?"

"Seventeen confirmed deaths so far. Eighty-six injured."

Noah's heart rate sped up to an alarming pace. "God."

A hand clapped over his shoulder. "We'll find her." Nick's voice rang in his ear.

Noah walked through the strip mall, poker in hand, and overturning debris. So far, he had found a lot of nothing. A few burnt rats, a lot of smoldering wood from building rafters. No sign of life in any of the shops he had wandered into, Nick on his heels.

"I don't think anyone's in here." His brother's voice rang behind him. He sucked his teeth.

"I don't think so either."

The radio on the heavy coat he wore began blaring, startling him.

"We've got six survivors, four are critical." The voice rattled off the location, which was less than a quarter mile from where they were currently searching. Their eyes stared at each other, before they made a dash for the exit, headed for the street toward the area where the people were found.

Noah ran toward the ambulances, a heavy hand catching him in the chest. Peering down at him was Ramos, a serious scowl crossing his face.

"Wait here." He let out a breath. "We've got her."

His breathing picked up, and he removed his respirator. "She's alive?"

"She's hanging on. EMTs said she's got full thickness burns to her legs, face, and back. She didn't have her helmet on."

His eyes caught the ambulance leaving, sirens screaming. "Where are they taking her?"

"UCI. She'll be taken to the remote area where she can be airlifted."

Noah began ripping the gear off. "I've got to go with her."

Noah didn't like airplanes. He really didn't like helicopters.

In all fairness, this had been his first time on one, but given the circumstances? He hated them. They were terrifying, but it didn't matter.

He stared at the stretcher, your body covered in heat-protecting blankets. What little of your face he could see under the bandages was charred, blistering and bleeding. It made his heart invert, his entire being hurting at the sight. How could he have been so stupid? How could he have had the audacity to hang up on you, give you attitude, and then not return your calls? It was unforgivable. He deserved for you to hate him. Leave him. Never want to see him again.

But all he could do was watch you. Listen to the heart monitor beep to remind him you were still here.

How could this have happened? You were so smart. You had taken so many courses. Why would you take off your helmet and respirator, exposing your face to the flames? Your jacket was found with you, and was one of the only ways they were able to identify you.

Aside from your hair, build, and general appearance, you were unrecognizable. Your body was mauled so badly by the flames.

The hospital staff frenzied around you, ripping your hand out of his without question, and whisked you to the ICU. He was told he had to wait, and if that wasn't the most devastating thing he had heard...

Nick, Ramos, and Reed all joined him at the hospital an hour later, as quickly as they could. They received updates every few hours. You had stabilized quickly, and they were keeping you under observation, treating the smoke inhalation and infection risk before moving you to the burn unit.

Jolly and Folio showed up six hours later, having caught a later flight than Noah and Nick. All of the men sat, deathly silent, until a nurse called Noah's name.

He walked over to her too quickly, but she was unbothered.

"Mr. Sebastian," She held a clipboard in her small hands. "Y/N will be moved to the burn unit as soon as a room becomes available."

"When can I see her?" His words were shaky, his hands knotting in the hair on top of his head.

"The doctor has advised she can have up to two visitors." Her eyes glanced back at the group sat behind Noah. "You have to change into sterile clothing that we can provide. The risk of infection is extreme."

Noah nodded. He looked back at Ramos, who was now standing behind him. "Okay, we'll go in."

She smiled sweetly. "Follow me."

The nurse led Noah and Ramos to a small locker room, sealed packages of lime green scrubs laid on the bench.

"Once you're done, come to the nurse's station."

Noah changed as quickly as possible, sitting on the bench while he waited for the other man to finish. He was annoyed at how long it was taking, but he used this moment to take a deep breath, leaning his head against the lockers behind him.

"It's good that you came, man." The voice that came out was so tired. It sounded the same way Noah felt.

"Of course I did. How could I not?"

Ramos chuckled at Noah's humorless tone. "I just mean, I know it'll mean a lot to her, that's all."

"I love her." His words weren't spoken to convince or persuade. They were just fact. They hung in the air on an invisible thread.

Ramos stood, staring at him, a blank expression on his face. "She loves you too. Don't forget that."

With that, they both made their way back to the nurse. Gloved and masks on, they were allowed behind the large glass door. A heavy white blanket pulled up over you to your shoulders. Bandages now covered the entirety of your face, small amount of hair sticking out in random places. Your body was propped up slightly on the side, likely due to the burns covering your back. Small spots of blood were etched into the pillow and sheets beneath you. Your eyes were closed, and a large tube was jutting from your lips.

Both men had been instructed not to touch you. Noah felt the physical ache in his fingers to not reach out and touch what little unmarred skin was left, signaling somehow that he was there. He was never leaving.

Ramos took a heavy seat in the chair next to your bed, staring down at you, disbelief painting his features.

"I've been at this job for twenty-one years, Noah."

The deep brown eyes flashed over to him, now wet with tears.

"I'll tell you, this never gets easier."

Noah tears fell freely, his hand bracing on the rail on the side of the bed.

Hours passed, Noah and Ramos unmoving except for when the nurse came in to check your vitals. He had been told you would not be allowed visitors in the burn unit, so he was getting as much time as he could with you.

He was, however, worn down.

After a while, Ramos stood, stretching his arms over his head. "Noah?"

He tore his eyes off of you, staring up at your friend. "Take a minute. You look like you're about ready to fall over."

Shaking his head, Noah breathed for the first time in what felt like days. "I'm fine."

"At least see if they've got a pillow. You can recline this chair and try to relax."

His stare challenged Ramos, but was met with an even more intimidating glare.

"I'm not asking."

After a moment, and an unwavering stare, Noah finally receded, backing slowly from the room. Once the door slid shut behind him, he let his shoulders sink, ripping the gloves from his sweaty palms, chucking them in the bin.

He stepped over to the nurse's desk, smiling as genuinely as he could.

"You wouldn't by chance have a pillow?"

Her grin was warm, her small frame standing. "Of course, honey. Give me a second."

She disappeared from her chair, pacing to a small room next to the desk.

Noah's eyes wandered as he waited, his teeth ripping at the dried skin on his bottom lip. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a shiny plastic on the desk under the counter. His tall stance leaned over, hand reaching down to run his fingers over the smooth bag. It was clear, and he could see the shredded remains of a navy blue t-shirt, yellow pants, and...

A stone?

His palm gripped the bag, lifting it over the counter and up closer to his face. Inside the sealed plastic, he could see it shining back at him, small amount of soot coating it.

Your necklace.

The nurse returned, two pillows and a folded blanket under her arm, pulling him from his focus.

"Hey, uh," He set the bag down on the counter. "these are her belongings. Can I open this?" He pressed a finger into the bag.

She adjusted the glasses on her face, and pulled the bag away from him, looking down at the label. Her lips puckered, eyes reading the words.

"I'm sorry, honey. This is someone else's."

Noah's brain blanked out.

"No. No, this is her stuff. That's her necklace."

She shook her head. "No, dear. This came in with someone else."

His hand slammed down on the counter with a sharp thud, making the nurse visibly jump.

"No, no! This is hers. I gave her that necklace!"

Her eyes deadpanned at him.

"Sweetheart, I think you're confused. This came in hours before she did, with another person."

Noah's eyes stared deep at her, working to make sense of her words.

"What do you mean? Who had her necklace?"

She sighed hard. "I can't tell you anything about other patients."

His voice snapped. "No one else could have that necklace! It was made for her!"

"Mr. Sebastian, I need you to calm down."

"Who had the necklace, damn it! Those are her clothes! That's her stuff!"

The nurse squeezed her eyes for a moment. "You're certain?"

"Where is the person who came in with these?!" His hand snatched the bag from her hand.

"No, you have to be mistaken, Mr. Sebastian. You identified her."

He stopped, heart seizing.

"Where are they?"

"You identified her, right?"

"Where are they?!"

His fingers squeezed the bag until his fingers nearly ripped into it. The nurse, fully stunned, spoke quietly.

"Mr. Sebastian, your girlfriend is in that room. These can't be hers, because these bags," She patted the stack of plastic on the desk. "are on their way to the morgue."

His chest imploded, his knees shaking.

"That's not..." His brain sparked and sizzled at her words.

"That's not hers." The nurse repeated back to him, but he couldn't hear.

He dropped the plastic, and his body turned. His fingers plucked the mask up over his mouth, his eyes wide as saucers as he slid the door open. He could hear the footsteps behind him.

"Ramos?"

A deadly calm fell over Noah, his head quirking to the side.

The man's head picked up from where he was staring down at the bed. "What's going on?"

The nurse behind Noah looked panicked.

"How did you identify her?" Her voice was shaky.

"Her, uh" Ramos stood, his words uncertain. "her coat. Her name is on it."

"And?" Noah was monotone.

"Well," Ramos looked down at the bed, gesturing to it. "look at her."

"Does she have any identifying marks? Scars? Birthmarks? Tattoos?"

"What is going on?" Ramos' voice raised an octave.

"She has a tattoo."

They both turned their heads to look at Noah.

"It's on the back of her right bicep. It's new. We got them together six weeks ago." He felt a tear sliding down his face, absorbing in his mask. "It's a headstone."

The nurse just nodded, padding to the bed, and reaching a gloved hand to pull the blanket down, exposing some of the only untouched skin. Back of the right bicep.

And there it was. Clear as day.

Nothing.

It was instantaneous. No one could have prevented it. Nothing could have stopped it.

Noah collapsed.

One Year Later

Fingertips ran over the stone, smooth and unharmed. Gold chain holding it together. Only one single micro fracture in the glass. It was perfect. It always would be.

His fingers twirled it, knees bouncing up and down, eyes closed and lips moving silently.

'I love you, more than you could ever know.'

"Noah?"

His eyes opened, catching Nick's easy smile looking back at him.

"Ready?" His bass hung comfortably over his chest, ski mask in hand.

Noah's lips lifted, returning his grin.

"Yeah, let's go."

[starsomens]

I'm sorry if you're not taking these type of requests or any at all, but I had a thought...

So imagine, after you and noah made one more sex tape and you're editing it he gets so turned on by watching you guys fuck, how hot you looked and how well he fucked you that he wants to fuck you right there and then.

And after ,you're just finishing editing, and you're cockwarming him for the rest of the time it takes to have a half decent tape :)

Obviously, he is a perfectionist. He'll finish the rest by himself until it looks like a movie ( playing with himself along the way because he just can't resist how beautiful you looked taking him)

Thank yooou

Kisses for you 😘 😘😘😘🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

Note: I....ANON! I don't know where yall be storing these stories, it amazes me to no end!

Warnings: SEX! Unprotect PIV (protection first!!), dirty talk, creampie, rough-ish sex, recording, watching your own sex tape, masturbating, slight somnophilia (masterbating while reader is asleep),

You open the door to your room and go right to your boyfriend who sat in front of his computer. You open your bottle of water and take a seat in his lap, after taking a few gulps you off him but he declines. You set the bottle down and lean on his chest watching his computer screen. What was he doing? Well you were currently watching him edit your sex tape. After the first time you made one it kind of became a habit. The tapes became longer, the editing started taking place, and of course more rounds came when editing or watching.

"I like that shot," you said pointing to the screen "You make a good camera man babe" you compliment. The shot was set up at the corner of you bed, filming you in a low doggy position. Noah's arms caging you in, his body low to your own as he thrusted into you. The thrusts werea bit shallow but they were strong and felt amazing. You were able to see Noah fucking you so nicely, and your face while he did so

"Yeah I like it too, look how well you're taking me," he rewinds to the start of that segment to when he first pushes in "I also noticed how your eyes roll back whenever I put it in" he chuckles. Another thing he loves about sex tapes he can visible see what your body reacts to the best.

He lets the segment play to review the edits he made, the sounds of your moans and his grunts leak from the speakers. The slushes of your juices being pumped in and out of you only added to the erotic scene. Noah feels you wiggle in his lap as you watch the screen intently. He leans into yoru ear and whispers

"Like what you see princess?"

"mmmmm" you couldn't help it! At first it was a bit strange to watch yourself get fucked but after some time, to becomes unbearably arousing. Noah's hand trails down to your pussy and rubs over the fabric of your panties, Luckly you only had on one of his shirts. He could feel how hard he was getting the longer he watched.

"Tell me princess, tell me what you want" he asks as he grinds upwards against your ass. His breath becoming heavy against your neck as his digits dip into your aching pussy. His fingers dragging in and out against your sweet spot, your legs spread to allow him more access.

"Mmm I want...your dick," you moan as you grind against his hand, your moans nearly syncing with the ones on the screen.

"Use your manners princess," he kisses your skin as his other hand begins to slip his hard cock out of his underwear.

"P-please!" you nearly beg as you can feel your juices start to drip out on to his fingers

"Good girl....so good for me," he slips his fingers out and licks up your slick juices. His hands find your thighs and adjusts you on his lap, you hover over his dick, as he aligns himself with your entrance.

"Now, sit on my dick like a good little slut," you whimper as you sit down on his hard cock. You were still a little sensitive from how you were just an hour ago. You let yourself slide all the way down, his cock stretching and filling you to the brim

"OH...fuck...." "shit," you both moan out, you back arching away from Noah. Noah hits play on his computer and spanks the side of your ass

"Come on princess, fuck yourself on daddy's dick," you start to rock your hips in circles, making sure to push back a little extra for him to see. He lifts up the shirt you wore up and over your head. His large hand comes down and strikes your skin and grabs at it "yeah baby...just like that..." he watches as your hips bounce up and down his cock. He spreads your ass to watch more clearly.

"Fuck Noah....fuck so good!" you moan

"Mhm, that's right princess...tell me how good you feel..." he leans back to watch your ride his cock biting his lip hearing your whimpers and moans "I know baby, I know."

" 'S...so good! You're so....big...so fucking....good!" you lean foreword allowing more pressure against your g-spot. His arm wraps around your hip, and his slender fingers rub at your sensitive bundle. His lips kissed up your back as he rubbed with more pressure

"Good girl....good fucking girl....make yourself cum baby" he licks and bites down on the junction of your neck and shoulder, holding the skin between his teeth enough to cause you please. Feeling you tighten around him as you hear yourselves finish on the screen.

"Have I ever...told you...you sound like a goddess when you cum?" he chuckles into your neck "Could cum just from it...." he thrusts half way to meet your hips as your moans become louder and your breather sharper

"That's it baby..." he whispers in your ear "let me hear it again" like a prayer being answered you cum again with goosebumps covering your skin as the tremor overtakes your body. You ride him slower and slower riding out both of your highs

He could feel the mix of your cum and his rolls down on to his lap as you pulse around him "making such a mess baby, such a pretty messy pussy" you carefully stand up and whine as you feel him slip out of you leaving your empty. His kisses just above your hip and gives a gentle slap to your pussy

"Why don't you get the shower started, I'll meet you in there" his round brown eyes looking up at you as he tucks himself back into his shorts and takes a deep breath. He saves his progress on his editing and gets up from his chair to go and wash up with you in the shower.

.....

"mmm babbeee..." you roll over in bed and cringe at the light in the room from Noah's computer "come to bed" you muffled against the blanket cracking one eye to look at Noah. He spins in his chair and tilts his head

"I'm almost done angel, 10 more minuets and I'm there" he whispers to you, you simply hum and just close your eyes again. He spins back to his screen and observes the last clip to be edited. This time you were holding the camera and Noah was laying his stomach between your legs. To some this may only be arousing to women, but he loved videos of him eating you out. He's able to recall your taste, your smell, the wetness, the texture and of course the way you'd pull on his hair when he hit just the right spot.

"..oh fuck....yes noah fuck...." he hears your quiet whispers as he watches himself lap at your pussy. His shorts had gotten tighter from just the few seconds he watched, looking over to you, he felt a bit guilty...but damn this was hot. He brings himself out for one last round before his night ends and starts to pump his shaft slowly but surely.

Precum leaking from his tip and giving himself some lubrication to work with. He takes deep breaths as he watches the screen, you legs snapped against his head only for him to pin them down to the bed. He tries to keep his panting to a minimum, not wanting you to wake up and see what state he was in. He looked over his shoulder and stared at you as he slept. Peacefully me now knowing the sinful acts, he was committing just a few feet away from you.

Each curve in detail of your face, how peaceful you looked, the way your lips were slightly parted as you snore in your slumber. Just seeing your gorgeous face made him twitch his fist. The low volume of your moans and breathing brings him back to the screen. He grabs his phone and opens his camera. He knew tours to be difficult, especially when they were more than just a couple of months. He always records a few videos for you or he had to leave on his next one. Just so you can have fresh content before he leaves.

His hips start to buck and thrust up into his hand as you writhe under his hold. He fucks his fist faster and faster as he finally cums. The thick liquid coming up in small spurts as he rises out his high. He knew you loved when he came on video with his moans of course.

Grabbing some tissue he cleans himself up, saves his final edits for the video. He shows the computer down and pushes away from his desk. He crawled into bed behind you and pulls you into his body. He kisses the back of your head and snuggles into you for the night.

Little did he know that you saw the entire thing and you were sure to tease him about it in the morning. ;)

「✨Taglist✨」 @lilhobgobbler @cncohshit @vir-tual @tdopomymind @concretenoah @misspygmypie @leneisdown @lust-for-sacher @thescarlettvvitch @cind6547 @itsmrsfuentes @just-pretend-again @lma1986 @daylightlvrs @darling-millicent-aubrey

[castlebyersafterdark]

thinking about how will sounds in bed thanks to noah should be obvious and yet im like 😳🥵 at the thought... I just know will would have nice choked sounds and picturing in his same tone (noah even makes his voice a little higher for will too, o hope he does in s5 too) is really doing it for me rn. the way he says "mike" in the show?? fuck!

and mike's will voice in bed???? /passes out/

Voice kink made some of yall pop offfff (There were several other similar anons, so sorry if I didn't pick yours but I just had to whittle down repetitive ones. Love everyone 😘❤️)

Linking my original thoughts from the ask "who is louder" because that's relevant and before I get repetitive, but I probably will. All good!

There's so many vivid scenarios for these two. Love the higher pitched voice for Will. I like that he's sensitive and gentle, and he doesn't have to change to fit anyone's vision of how and who he should be. The acting behind him has been incredible at bringing him to life. On that note - time and time again I will go to bat for my boy finally allowing himself to accept love and experience pure pleasure once Mike takes him to bed and takes him the fuck apart. Very hard for our composed, quiet boy Will to stay quiet once Mike and him get together. That soft voice gets so high and breathy, kind of shocking them both at the beginning when something really feels good and he moans loud. He literally cannot be quiet. I think a lifetime of staying quiet, making himself smaller both emotionally and physically just breaks at a point. He doesn't need to be like that with Mike, who just completely accepts him and they learn each other in new ways. And in regards to intimacy, Mike wants to hear him. When the setting is appropriate (times occur often where Will's stream of whimpers and gasps sound way too loud when they're trying to get away with stuff in a house with others home), Mike encourages Will not to hide and just let go.

His voice is nice and deep and sends shivers up Mike's spine when he's talking low to Mike, sweet talk and dirty talk as they're lying in bed together, teasing each other to start. His laughter and giggles are high and breathy, moans are a humming reverb that they both feel against their skin when pressed so close together, voice low as he's giving Mike sweet praise that in turn has Mike whining, groaning sometimes as he hides behind a hand or muffled with his face turned into the bed to hide his red-faced embarrassment despite the fact that Mike loves and craves it. Will's pitch reaches an impressive octave once Mike's inside him, sharp pleasure matching his tone, hitching breath as he chokes on the occassional sob. Noisy boy. He just feels everything so deeply, and as they learn and explore together, he allows himself to embrace it as confidence grows.

Mike. Oh, Mike. Babbler, hyper talkative in bed. He's super sweet, with that soft voice that just makes Will absolutely melt. Whispering encouragement. Turns into so much more when that sweet voice starts detailing complete filth, dirty talk that shocks them both. He's so honest when he's turned on. Even in bed together, its just them, of course it's just them, but Mike gets caught in his head sometimes, possessive. The world doesn't want them to have this. Mine. Some guy or girl made a pass at his boyfriend. Mine. Will wants him to push him around, get a little rougher with him, and Mike is more than willing. He's in control of what he wants, shaking off the shackles of whatever notion rears an ugly head, holding him back. Sometimes it just feels good to be wanted like that, the way Will wants him, so desperately sometimes. Makes him desperate, too, drives him crazy. Mine. Normally soft voice deeper, the chatter is replaced by primal pleasure, essentially a growl as he both takes pleasure and gives it, even gives a little pain because that's what Will asked for. Don't treat him like he's fragile. He wants it until he cries. Mike can do that. He's a man of wildly swinging emotions at times, and the trust of being allowed to become a little wild is heavenly. 😘

[rafecameronzwhore]

Hi

I really enjoyed your nick writing I was wondering if you comfortable could you write a fic where him and the reader are married and had they're first child ( I can imagine nick to be an amazing dad) and they were advised after giving birth to not have sex for six weeks and once the six weeks are up they have a date night and the reader let's noah and jenna babysit saying " now im gonna go and have sex with my husband " and the date night between them goes very well indeed.... 😉

AWWWWWWW THANK YOU SM

Ofc 😘

Warnings: smtty smut smut, fluffy, car sex, plan b

Tell me if I missed anything

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Readers outfit ^^^

6 weeks later

You had just given birth to your son Sébastien [A/n: I got it off Google lol]

It was amazing

Of course, you and Nick were new parents, but that didn't make you guys love him any less

He truly was yours and Nick's whole world

But...

With a child come some... issues let's say

After you gave birth

Your doctor had strictly advised you not to have sex for the first 6 weeks after giving birth

And of course, Nick was bummed out because you strictly forbid him from touching you, saying that he was the one who got you pregnant, so it's only far if he suffers with you for the next 9 months

So after the next 6 weeks pasts

Nick took you out on date night since Noah and Jenna had all of a sudden decided to babysit Sébastien [Nick payed both of them]

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Finally the night was here

You were getting ready as Nick was downstairs telling Noah and Jenna the things they needed to know

Once you were finally done getting ready

You heard the door open up, and there stood Nick in his suit

He looked at you up and down smirking

"Ready to go my love"

"Yup, let's go"

Before you could exit the door

Nick pulled you against his body

"You look gorgeous by the way, sweetheart."

"Thank you baby" you say as you pull him into a kiss

Not long after you pull away knowing that if you didn't yall wouldn't be going to dinner anymore

The two of you walked downstairs hand in hand

You heard gasps erupt from downstairs

"YALL LOOK SO CUTEEEEE" Jenna exclaimed

You giggled and thanked her

Taking your child from Noah's arms

And slowly rocking him as Nick went to start the car

"Yall have everything you need?" You asked the girls

"Yup" Noah replied

"Oh and lion said he might come over"

"Oh ok"

You handed Sébastien back to Noah and said

"Now I'm gonna go have sex with my husband" smiling

All three of you giggled and you put your heels on and walked out to the car

You saw Nick leaning against the passenger seat door

Waiting for you

"Ready to go my love" he asked opening the door

You hummed in response as you climbed into the car

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

After dinner, You and Nick decided to drive to the beach just for some quiet time

It's wasn't everyday that the two of you could be away from the baby and with each other

You and Nick had climbed into the backseat to cuddle

Soon Nicks lips started finding its was to your neck

Smut skip if don't like

Nick started sucking on your neck leaving marks

And you couldn't help the small moans that came out of your mouth

He slowly moved the 2 of you so that he was hovering on you in the backseat

He kissed your forehead making his way down from your nose to you lips, neck etc

She slowly started rolling her head back even further as the pleasure good better and better, she grabbed Nick's shirt and slowly unbuttoned it as he worked in her neck. "So eager huh~" he said in a husky deep voice as he marked her.

She wasn't able to talk as the pleasure took her voice away from her. She just put Nick's hand on the zip of her dress and indicated him to unzip it. He unzips it and started slowly removing it of her. He smirked at the sight of her. "What a naughty girl~ wearing no bra huh?" He said, he went back to marking her neck and slowly started trail of to her collarbone, her chest, her stomach. He stopped at looked at her. The only thing he saw was Lust being shot at him. He smirked as he got lower and started kissing her inner thigh, making her moan passionately. "You like that love~?" He slowly started trailing his finger into her entrance. "N-nick" she mumbled out, "Yes love?" He said in a teasing whisper as he entered his finger and going at a smooth, soft and thrustive rythem. She was a moaning mess as he found her spot instantly. He started to eat her out as he fingered her, slowly adding digits as he picks up the rythem with his fingers. After a few mins of going at it she released with letting him know. "Huh? Thought you can do that without telling me huh?" He got up and unziped his pants and entered with telling her. "F-Shit Nicklolas" *her head rolls back even further* "language~" he slowly started thrusting in deeply and slowly making her go crazy under his touch, he picked up his pace and started hammering her till she couldn't make a noice. "Am I fucking you right?" He said in a sarcastic way as he thrusts in deeper.

Her legs started shaking and she was tapping out. "Hm? Let me think about it... No". He rammed into her even faster making her nails dig into his arm "eh- sh-shit stop!" She didn't stop as the pleasure got even better. "I-i... Close-" she blurbed out. He just smirked at her, after a few more mins he spoke again "now!" And with that you both came, him shooting his warm seed in you and you squirting all over his cockadodaldo

Smut has passed

After all that, Nick cleaned the 2 of you up and dressed you both up

The 2 of you decided to stay a little longer and cuddle

While cuddling Nick noticed you were starting to fall asleep so he slowly woke you up, got you back in your seat and you both went home.

The end

SIKE

You made Nick pull over at the store to immediately buy you a plan b 😘

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Hey sweets

I am so incredibly sorry for how long this took

Recently I've been deal with some personal issues regarding school and friendships

I've been trying really hard to get my levels up to go to my dream school fingers crossed ill get in🤞

Credits: yall can we get an applause 👏 for this amazing human being. @zazabookie yall she did the smut part, full credits to her my lovely cousin 😘. She writes on wattpad and yall can ask her 4 that.

Also it's currently 10:58 pm, Goodnight/goodmorning/goodafternoon

Bye sweets 👋

[madomens]

asking because reasons. Can we get a mood board for Noah as Haku from spirited away?

Please and thank you😘

you already which is next 😈😈

[sparxaf]

WIP Tag Game

RULES: Make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WiPs.

I had so many tags 😂 Thank you @longbobmckenzie, @mrsbsmooth, @operationnope, and @lucas-koh. You have successfully bullied me into this 😘

Nearly all my fics are listed with the love interests and I debated taking them off or leaving them on but I'm lazy and I was copying and pasting, so they're on. Also, oh dear god, strap in.

Active WIPs

The Sun in My Eyes

If It Could Have Been Me (Noah-MC)

Heart of the Dragon (Romance Club Amen Fic)

Truly Madly (OF)

Kissin' In the Snow (OF)

Nico & Coralie (OF)

On Hold WIPs

The Legend of Zelda (Noah-MC-Lucas)

Just Gonna Call You Mine (Lucas-MC)

Rewrite the Stars (Levi-Lucas)

Accidental Broadcast (Elliot-MC)

Vampire Love Story (OF)

To Dare (OF)

Jo & MIles (OF)

Hannah & August (OF)

Abandoned WIPs

Finn Story (Finn-MC) sorry Jen, FB ruined it 😭

The Sister Zone (Nicky-MC)

Suresh Something Something (Suresh)

You Can't Do Better (Bobby-Marisol)

Rebound Triangle (Levi-MC-Jake)

Sir Bahbee and the Queen (Bobby-MC)

Mum & Dad Fell in Love on Telly (Bobby-MC)

Couple's Therapy (Seb-MC)

A Prince to Loathe (Lucas-Arjun)

The Rogue King (Bobby-MC)

Call My Dad songfic (Rahim)

Besties (Bobby-MC)

The Three Way (Lucas-Bobby-MC)

Arjun After Hours (Arjun-MC)

Where I Am (Theo-MC AU) turning this into OF

Light as a... (Alex-MC)

Her Laugh (Jake-MC AU)

Lobster Tale (OF)

Juniper & Calvin (OF)

WOKE (OF)

Sanctum (OF)

I Do Believe in Ghosts (OF)

Flux (OF)

Rockabilly (OF)

Welp. I love talking about stories more than I love writing them (clearly), so feel free to choose one of MANY. Also I'm not tagging as that would be more people than I even follow 🤣 Well okay, I'm gonna tag one. @throughthejunobush.

[jennay]

An: I was listening to Lover’s pov by Zach Bryan and felt the need to write this. Obviously, I don't know anything about Jollys personal life this is all fiction don't come for me. 😂

Masterlist

@a-villain-vying-for-attention thank you for your amazing banner once again 😘

You were in a deep sleep, dreaming of a peaceful night under the stars, when your phone rang loudly, jolting you out of your slumber. You fumbled for the device on your nightstand, squinting at the bright screen. The light hurt your eyes, and you blinked several times to adjust to the sudden glare.

Your dad's picture showed on the screen, and you automatically felt concern race through you. Your heart skipped a beat, and your stomach clenched. Why was he calling you at this hour? Was something wrong? Was he hurt? Was he in trouble? You swallowed hard and pressed answer.

You put the phone to your ear, your voice trembling. "Hello?" You quietly say, hoping for the best but fearing the worst.

"Sorry to wake you, but I have some bad news." His voice was grave and stern, and you felt a chill run down your spine. Of course, it was terrible news. It was 11:30pm, and no one was calling with good news at this hour.

You braced yourself for the worst, wondering what could have happened. Was it your mom? Your brother? Your grandma? You felt a lump in your throat. "What is it, dad?" You asked, trying to sound calm but failing miserably.

"I have Jolly and Noah handcuffed outside of the bar." He said, and you instantly felt anger and disappointment.

You loved Jolly, but you hated his reckless behavior. He had dragged you into his mess again. You felt a wave of nausea, and your head spun. "What did they do?" You asked, knowing it was something terrible or stupid; you just hoped it wasn't illegal.

"They got into a brawl with some bikers, smashed some bottles and resisted arrest." He said, and you felt your blood boil.

How could they be so irresponsible, so immature, so selfish? How could they put you in this position? "Why?" You asked, not expecting an answer but hoping for some explanation, some sort of justification.

"I don't know, honey. I don't know what goes on in their heads. They're young, they're dumb, they're intoxicated. They don't think about the consequences. They need to be taught a lesson, they need to face the music. Maybe it would be best if I took them to jail." He said, and you felt a tug at your heart, and your voice softened. "I'm sorry, Dad, and I'm sorry you have to see me like this." You said, and you meant it. You loved your dad, and you hated to disappoint him. You hated to make him worry, to make him angry, to make him sad. You hated to be the cause of his stress, frustration, and pain.

"It's not your fault. It's not your responsibility. It's not your choice. It's theirs." He said, and you felt a flicker of hope and relief. "Do you want me to take them in or do you want to come get them?" He asked, without any preamble or apology, giving you the option and the power.

He glanced at the two sitting on the curb, hands behind their back. He wanted to go over to Jolly, who was grinning at Noah, and tell them to grow the hell up, but he thought of you and instantly softened. He knew this was enough anxiety for you. He didn't want to add any more drama to the night. It's not that he didn't like Jolly, but he was starting to wonder how often this would happen before you'd leave. He didn't want someone like this for his only daughter.

Yawning, you kicked your feet over the side of the bed and grabbed your glasses from the side table. You put them on and looked at the clock. You groaned and asked, "Are they at least okay?"

You hear him sigh deeply. "Your boyfriend got a busted lip, and the other has bruising on his face. He's holding his side, but I think they'll live. I'm more worried about the other two pressing charges. They're pretty pissed off, and they have witnesses." He admitted, sounding worried. "They could face assault and battery charges."

You sighed, slightly annoyed that you had to get out of bed to pick them up thirty minutes away when you had to work in the morning. "I'll be there in a few minutes. I'm sorry again and thanks for calling me first."

You didn't bother getting out of your pajamas. You slid your shoes on, grabbed a coat, and headed out the door. You got into your car, started the engine, and drove to the bar.

You hoped this wouldn't be as chaotic as it sounded. This needed to be the last time this ever happened. You were tired of being dragged into their mess, tired of being the mediator, tired of being the responsible one.

You loved Jolly, but you hated his lifestyle. You hated his drinking and his fighting. You hated how he constantly put you in a difficult position.

When you arrived downtown, you parked your car at the curb. You saw your dad standing behind the two men who obeyed and stayed seated on the curb. He was in his uniform, his badge shining in the moonlight. He looked stern and serious but also weary and disappointed. He'd seen this scene too many times, made this call too many times, and given this chance too many times.

When he saw you, he walked toward you, smiling faintly as he hugged you tightly. He knew how hard this was for you and how much you cared for Jolly.

He wanted to tell you to dump Jolly, move on, and find someone else. He wanted to be honest but knew he needed to be gentle. "Sorry, kiddo. I know this is hard for you." He said, comforting you.

He led you to Jolly and Noah, who were both talking to each other but became silent when they saw you standing in front of them. They looked at you with sheepish and guilty expressions.

You stared at them with disappointment and anger. You shook your head and said nothing. You waited for your dad to unlock their handcuffs and watched as they shook their wrists and rubbed at their skin where the cuffs were once placed.

"Thanks again. I appreciate it." You said to your dad.

He nodded, "You're welcome. But this is the last time. If this happens again, I'm taking them to jail. No more favors. They're too old to be acting like this. And you deserve better, Y/n. I get it; they're rockstars, but right now, they're normal civilians and need to behave." He says this loud enough for the two men to hear, and you nod in agreement.

"I do deserve better." You said, looking at Jolly with a determined and defiant expression. You wanted him to hear, see, and feel you.

"Get home safe," He says, waving and heading toward his patrol car. "Make them sleep on the porch." He laughs.

"I'm thinking about it!" You say, following the other two back to the car. They both crawl into the backseat, knowing you're not in the mood to have one of them next to you in the passenger seat.

You looked at Jolly and Noah in the rearview mirror. They knew they had messed up, and you were mad at them. They didn't say anything, but the silence was deafening. You drove home, feeling drowsy and defeated. You didn't want to deal with them tonight. How were you going to get through to Jolly? What would it take for him to listen to you?

You arrived at home and parked the car. You got out and walked up the driveway. You heard the men's doors open and close behind you, signaling they weren't too far behind. You opened the front door, holding it open for them.

"Couch." You say to Noah, pointing to the living room. He nodded, not arguing with you. He knew he had no right to complain.

You faced Jolly, who looked at you with sadness and shame. He knew he had messed up, and he knew he had to talk to you. But Jolly didn't know what to say; he didn't know how to explain. Jolly hung his head and dropped his shoulders as he walked up the stairs and to your room.

You entered the kitchen and grabbed two glasses of water, bringing one to Noah. You set a couple of Tylenol next to the glass on the coffee table. He thanked you as you covered him with a blanket. He apologized for his behavior and promised to make it up to you. You told him to get some rest and that you would talk to him in the morning. As mad as you were, it was hard to be too upset with Noah; you weren't in love with Noah. You were in love with Jolly, and the annoyance and anger was more directed toward him.

You walked upstairs and saw Jolly washing his face now in fresh clothes in the connected bathroom. The light was dim, and you could see the bruises and cuts on his face.

You walked into the bathroom, sat on the toilet lid, and debated what to say to him. He dried his face, wincing at the pain as he cleaned the dried blood from his mouth.

"Do you know how fucking embarrassed I am?" You finally asked him, your voice trembling with anger and frustration. "My dad's arrested you and Noah so many times, for the same thing! What the hell were you thinking?" Your words echoed in the bathroom, making you feel even more exposed and vulnerable.

Jolly leaned his back against the wall, feeling defeated. He avoided your gaze, looking down at the ground. "I don't know..." He said, his voice barely audible. "I didn't mean for it to happen we were just going out for a few drinks." He tried to justify his actions, but he knew it was useless. He wanted to tell you what had happened -- how it was all a misunderstanding and a mistake -- but he knew you wouldn't believe him. He knew you were disappointed in him, and he hated himself for it.

You shook your head, dismissing his excuses. "It needs to stop." You snapped at him, "I won't put up with this anymore; you aren't 21, Jolly. You can't keep using the dumb and young card anymore." You pause, rubbing your temples. You feel your eyes widen and your muscles tighten when you ask, "What if this gets out? How do you think this will affect your fans, your career, and your future?"

You stood up and walked to him, gently touching his chin. You lifted his face and looked into his brown eyes, full of remorse and guilt. Seeing how he hurt, your shoulders loosened, and sympathy washed over you. You knew he was sorry, but sorry wasn't enough.

"Don't you think by now, those guys know you're not going to back down? They're always talking shit." You say softly. "But right now," You take a deep breath. "I need you to decide if you're going to be a good man to me or if your going to continue this path and die the way your father died."

You see his eyes dart around your face as he remembers his past. His father, the problems his parents had. He met your gaze, feeling a knot in his stomach for following the same path he swore he wouldn't.

He nods slowly, his eyes heavy with guilt, following you to the bedroom. He curls under the blankets with you, holding your body close to his. He nestled his chin on your head, overwhelmed with gratitude that you didn't tell him to leave or that you were giving up on him. "I'm going to do better." He vows, his voice hoarse.

You agree with a nod, feeling the warmth against your cheek. "From a lover's point of view, this has all been hard to watch." You confess, your voice is barely audible. "I love you, and I want to believe you." You pull back enough to look at him; you want to see in his eyes that this is the last time. "If you mess up like this again, I'm gone. Do you understand?" You ask him, your tone is serious and firm.

He nods, "I understand and I won't, I swear." He brings you close to his chest again, tightening his grip so you can't move away. "Thank you for not giving up on me."

You feel his heartbeat against your ear and close your eyes, hoping he means it this time.

[fanficfanattic]

Tagged by the fantastic @walnutmistjamie!

Last song: Rise Up - Andra Day (and since starting to type now half of Noah Kahan’s album Busyhead [please see below])

Favorite color: Purple

Last movie/TV show: Just finished season 12 of Taskmaster. And then this B movie Bram Stokers Van Helsing featuring two of the actors from Ted Lasso’s second team. Thank you for the link @orbitalpirate!

Sweet/spicy/savory?: Sweet!!! I like savory well enough but I am painfully white midwestern and cannot handle heat.

Relationship status: Single 😘

Last thing I googled: "soccer themed pacifier” for a post asking what people called them where they are from. (My family specifically called them nuks because of the brand even though I don’t think we ever bought brand name anything lmao)

Current obsession: RoyJamie and Noah Kahan + the intersection of the two. Like. It is bad y’all.

And I am tagging in turn @orbitalpirate @izzyspussy and @goodmorninglovelies42 if you want. Plus anyone else who wants to gush about their obsessions. I fully support you in it. Plaster my name on it and I’ll retroactively add it here.

[ramonaflow]

Favourite Noah show moment that you've come across?

God! So many. All of them! But if there's one thing I wish I could've experienced in person it would be this 😭😭

All the cute Noah/Jasper moments 🥰🥰

And look, you know I didn't come across this so much as experience it first hand, but it will forever be a surreal experience that I never want to stop talking about and also sort of regret it (I don't know if I actually do, it was just very weird and embarrassing)

Thanks for asking my love ❤️😘

[linkysmommy]

WIP Wednesday

heyyy @aces-and-angels thanks for the WIP Wednesday tag 😘 as you said time doesn't matter so posting wip wednesday at 2 AM on a saturday morning because why not. I have a few lil snippets so I'll be putting them under the read more

WIP 1 - RETIREMENT HOME

AU where instead of aging to death, Matthias just ages a lot and loses his ability to function and Lincoln has to take care of him.

Matthias sits in a rocking chair in front of the TV. He doesn’t look up as Lincoln enters. The little hair he has is thin and wispy, and his skin is wrinkled and fragile. He wears a thin bathrobe that Lincoln’s sure won’t do enough to ward off the cold. He’ll have to make sure he changes into something warmer.

“Hey, Dad,” Lincoln says, shutting the door quietly behind him. Matthias’s gaze wanders away from the small TV in his room and lands on Lincoln. His eyes are empty and uncomprehending. He looks at Lincoln for a long moment before returning to look at the TV.

Lincoln crosses the room and takes the chair beside Matthias.

“How are you feeling today?” he asks, his voice gentle and careful.

Matthias doesn’t respond. He usually doesn’t. Lincoln is used to it, though usually he has Angel here with him to support him when it gets too difficult.

Lincoln holds out a bag of fresh peaches. “I brought these for you. They’re from the fruit stand you love.”

Matthias’s eyes drift to the peaches. Lincoln expects he’ll just look away, but then—

“My wife used to bring these for me,” Matthias says. His voice is weak and soft from so little use, and his words slur together without his teeth, but Lincoln understands every word.

“You—you remember her?” Lincoln attempts to hide his surprise, but he can’t help but gape.

Matthias slowly turns to look at him, and his lips turn upward in a vague smile.

“Of course I remember her,” he says in that soft, airy voice. “Silvia. She gave me everything I could ever want. Love, home, family, my son.”

Lincoln blinks at him. “Your… your son?”

“Yes. Lincoln… oh, he was a good boy.” Matthias’s eyes seem to clear as he looks at Lincoln. “You remind me of him, you know.”

WIP 2 - NOAH X MC

sorry sorry I just unearthed this from the depths of my google docs and i love it... i wrote this in 2020, before ilw was ever even conceived!

Cold.

I’m so, so cold.

Like ice… like fear… like death.

“Jaz. Jaz! Can you hear me?” The voice is distant, but familiar. Like something out of a dream that I know I recognize but can’t quite place. “Please, say something. Please…”

My eyes open, filling with blinding light. I flinch them shut again, and then something jostles my body.

“Jaz!” It’s the same voice from before. So familiar. How do I know that voice? “You opened your eyes—are you all right?”

I force my eyes open once more, and though it’s bright, I keep them open. A hazy figure leans over me. I stare at it as my vision comes into focus—and then I recognize him. The messy brown hair peeking out from beneath a beanie, the angular chin, the straight nose.

Noah.

I want to move my hand to touch him, but my body won’t respond. So I try to say his name instead.

“Nnnh…”

Noah leans closer, his eyes wide with concern. “What was that?”

“N…” My mouth feels foreign, like it belongs to someone else. “No… ah…”

His face melts with relief and he grips my hand tighter. “Yes. I’m here, Jaz. I’m always right here.”

I blink up at him. I don’t remember what happened, don’t remember why I’m here. All I can recall is the darkness, the loneliness, the cold… and him. Noah Marshall. I can’t remember what he did or what he said, but I somehow know that he was always there beside me.

A shiver runs through me and my teeth start to chatter. Noah seems to notice, because he pulls off his jacket and places it over me. 

“I’ve got you,” he says. “You’ll be okay.”

“Wh… where…?” My teeth are still chattering uncontrollably.

“We’re in the woods, Jaz,” he says softly. “I found a way to bring you back.”

Back? Where was I before? But I’m just too confused and cold and exhausted to ask. 

Noah scoops me up in his arm, his touch gentle as a feather. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you.”

There are so many things I want to say, so many questions I want to ask. But protected in Noah’s arms, comforted by the soft swaying as he carries me, my eyes droop shut and I fall asleep.

WIP 3 - ALERAK PROPAGANDA

I co-write with my sister and she calls the shots in this particular book. I started shipping two characters and wrote this propaganda for her to see my vision... who knows if she listened 🙄 For context, Alerin is a prince and Jezrak is the ambassador from a hostile foreign nation teehee.

“So…” Jezrak said, casting a glance in Alerin’s direction. “Just you and me again, huh? Just like the good old days.”

Alerin’s eyes flicked to Jezrak, his expression clearly saying “drop it”—but the moment he saw Jezrak’s appreciative gaze raking over his body, Alerin’s resolve faltered. Jezrak bit his lower lip, eyes glinting with desire, and Alerin’s heart started to pound.

He glanced up at the camera in the corner of the elevator. He wondered if the camera was actually recording anything. He wondered how often people checked its footage. He considered the worst that could really happen if someone actually saw compromising footage.

Then a pair of hands grabbed Alerin by the collar and pushed him into the corner beneath the camera. Before he could even comprehend what was happening, Jezrak’s mouth was on his, insistent and hungry and full of desire. All thoughts of cameras and being discovered dissolved as Alerin held Jezrak, kissing him back. He tangled his hands in Jezrak’s hair—his long, silky hair that drove Alerin crazy—and pressed their bodies more tightly together. Jezrak’s hands were everywhere, running up and down Alerin’s entire body, tickling the inside of his thigh. Alerin groaned as Jezrak’s mouth slipped from his mouth to his jaw, then to his neck, then—

The elevator stopped and there was a pleasant ding. Jezrak jumped away from Alerin, smoothing out his pants and running a hand through his mussed hair. Alerin barely had time to try to regain himself before the elevator doors opened to reveal the last person he wanted to see: Darvus. 

The king was flanked on either side by bodyguards as he swept into the elevator. Alerin’s heart was pounding so loudly in his ears he almost worried his father would be able to hear it and piece together what had just happened.

“Ah, Alerin. Just who I wanted to see,” Darvus said with a curt nod. It was as if Jezrak wasn't even there. “I hear the date with Ms. Werthins went well. That’s good to hear.”

Alerin didn’t know if he could trust himself to speak. His mouth felt dry, and his mind was spinning with adrenaline. “Uh, yes,” he managed to say.

Darvus peered up at Alerin, and seemed to take in his appearance for the first time. He grunted in disgust. “Fix your hair. You look like a homeless boy who just woke up from sleeping in a ditch.”

Alerin ran a distracted hand through his hair as his eyes flicked over Darvus’s shoulder to Jezrak. The memory of Jezrak’s tongue against his skin was so fresh he could practically feel it still, and his body craved for more. But at the moment, Jezrak’s expression was stoic, impassive. As if his tongue hadn’t just been locked in Alerin’s mouth. When the elevator dinged again, Darvus placed a hand on Alerin’s shoulder. “Come with me, I want to discuss the announcement with you,” he said.

Alerin barely resisted as he followed his father out of the elevator. But as he left, he glanced over his shoulder, caught Jezrak’s eye, and gave his earlobe a discreet tug. Then, before Jezrak could do anything else, Alerin turned forward again and darted after his father, his face hot. Though he couldn’t see it, he could practically feel Jezrak’s smirk watching him as he disappeared down the hall.

 Alerin knew he shouldn’t be doing this. He had a plan, and maintaining a secret romantic entanglement with the ambassador from a hostile foreign nation was the kind of scandal that could destroy his plan before it even began. But the truth of the matter was, Alerin wasn’t strong enough to resist.

And after today, he was fairly certain Jezrak wasn’t, either.

--

tagging @aallotarenunelma, @laylaisthename, @immemorialmarketeer, to share WIPs if you want! also i apologize if you were already tagged 😭 (i tried to not tag ppl i knew were already tagged)

[wexhappyxfew]

when u get this, list 5 songs u like to listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (positivity is cool) 💖 😘

AW FRIEND HI AND HELLO!!!! thank you so much for this!!! consider this a mega uno reverse right back at youuuuu!!! <3

- delicate by taylor swift

- the kill by maggie rogers

- you make loving fun by fleetwood mac

- call your mom by noah kahan

- close to you by gracie abrams

[itlivesproject]

Okay not to bother the mods, but a silly little idea. I think as like? A crack ship(verging on real ship territory) I think Rowan/Devon would honestly be really cute either if both of them were single or (though varying stages of unlikely depending on LIs) a polycule ever happened, ghost to human ghost hunters to lovers, absolute scooby doo antics potential. Wait! Oh my god they’d be Moss’ dog parents together🥺

But rambling aside I also wanted to say I adore how well the team characterized and wrote the characters, in addition to having amazing romance writing with all the canon LIs, they gave characters so much depth that ship outside of the main pairings could have substance(eg. Connor/Noah being amazing both platonic or potentially more).

Anyway hope alls well with everyone and thank you all again for the amazing project!

First of all, you’re very welcome for the project 😘

Second, I think you’re onto something with Devon x Rowan! Someone sent an ask about it a while ago that I never forgot, analyzing how meaningful and interesting that relationship could have been. Definitely something fun to consider!

[steddieas-shegoes]

🎶✨️when u get this u have to put 5 songs u actually listen to, publish. Then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool)🎶✨️

Gerry I hate to disappoint you but my music taste is like if Steve Harrington got Spotify (these are the first 5 songs on my on repeat playlist)

1. All My Love - Noah Kahan

2. End of Beginning - Djo

3. Chronically Cautious - Braden Bales

4. You’re on Your Own Kid - Taylor Swift

5. Could Have Been Me - The Struts

Thank you for sending it to me ❤️😘

[wordthieve]

41 & 51

Thanks @stereopticons!

41. what is the weirdest story idea you’ve ever had?

Well, I did have one a little while ago ... a very meta concept of Patrick finding himself living his life over and over as a writer keeps scrapping fanfic ideas. He breaks up with Rachel, moves away, always in slightly different (or possibly very different) scenarios, and slowly he gets to know this guy ... only the story keeps getting scrapped and starting over before he can manage to kiss him. I kinda like the idea, but who knows if/when I'd be able to make it into something.

51. share the synopsis of a story you work on that you haven’t published yet

Well that would be telling. 😘I will say that it was inspired by a photo shoot Noah did not long ago ...

ask me things!