#thanks for asking. i need to be locked up

[muniimyg]

♡ 04: how you're lookin' at me, yeah, i know what that means and i'm obsessed

series m.list // taglist

note: a wild ride…. good luck y’all ,, THANKS FOR 1K 😻 my kitty is happy !!! hauwhahahahaa this part is lengthy so pls take a mfking SEAT. pls lmk what y’all think ,, send in asks 🫵 we’re headed towards the finale 💛 much wuv !!

warnings: tension/tampo vibes (whats that in english? lol) ,, male masturbation (jk gets himself off as he recalls oc slapping him) ,, jealousy (lots of it. like 90% of this part is filled with it) ,, oc has a hickey ,, angst ,, and a little mwaamwaaaa moment :')

//

life sucks. 

for jungkook, at least. 

it’s been almost a month since the incident, and you’ve done everything in your power to avoid him.

the memory of the fight—the words exchanged, the way he said your name—still lingers in the air between you like smoke, suffocating and inescapable.

at first, jungkook tried.

he texted you the next day and every day after that. his messages were hesitant and apologetic... and each one was left unanswered.

nerd [11:11PM]: ___, can we talk? sent nerd [11:28PM]: please? sent nerd [12:01AM]: i’m sorry. i mean it. sent nerd [12:03AM]: it wasn’t even like that. not with her.  sent nerd [1:09AM]: ik i’m gonna sound like a total douche no matter what so let me do it please sent nerd [1:15AM]: let me say sorry, let me fuck up, let me make it up to u sent nerd [2:01AM]: i really hate begging  sent nerd [2:01AM]: but i really hate u not wanting me even more seen

he did try to call though.

just once.

the ringtone barely lasted before he hung up, realizing how futile it was.

at one point, he showed up at your favorite coffee shop one afternoon. he sat alone by the window with an untouched drink, waiting. 

his eyes flicked to the door every time it opened, a glimmer of hope lighting his expression for a split second before fading when it wasn’t you.

after two hours, he left.

but now, almost four weeks later, jungkook has stopped trying (so hard).

it wasn’t a sudden decision, more of a gradual acceptance that whatever connection you’d shared—whatever you’d been to each other—was slipping through his fingers.

he told himself you needed time, that maybe this space was what you wanted, what you deserved. and so, he gave it to you.

he told himself it wasn’t the end. 

it couldn’t be.

he refuses for it to be. 

this is just… complicated. 

he gets that.

he's a smart guy after all!

but late at night, when the world was quiet and he was left alone with his thoughts, the weight of your absence pressed against his chest like an ache he couldn’t soothe. it... burns? it throbs in this aching rhythm that he can't quite figure the melody to.

jungkook thinks about the way you banter with him and how much it makes his day. how closely you sit next to him. how effortlessly you mesmerize him… 

how you flirted with him for a few days and now he's malfunctioning. how he spent the last month memorizing every detail of those days and can't get over it. he has convinced himself you're into him...  

like, remember how your fingers would brush his when you handed him something? that meant something, right? or how about the way you looked at him and tilted your head? shit, yeah.

that meant something.

fuck, the way you laugh and throw your head back and he gets a glance at your perfect neck—how he wants to leave kisses on it. how he… 

how he had you. 

for a moment, he really had you. 

under him, tangled, and messy. 

how he was so close to your lips. 

he should’ve kissed you. 

he should’ve locked the fucking door. 

he should’ve ran after you even more. 

but he didn’t…

and now? 

now you aren’t even around. 

he recalls what taehyung said to him night at the arcade. taehyung's words rub into his wound like salt. it stings. it makes him feel sick to his stomach and he just... get can't stomach it.

“she isn't gonna stick around forever... especially with all the shit you pull…”

there are no words to describe how incredibly helpless he feels.

if anything, he goes through circles in his mind; completely in disbelief he could fuck up this bad with you.

he hates that he can't think straight. he hates that he can't study properly. he hates that he stopped tutoring and even got in trouble with his profs for letting them down (they really counted on jungkook to help other students out).

he hates that he can't fucking breathe lately.

he can't sleep.

he can't eat.

jungkook hates the growing distance, but more than that, he hates how much it hurts.

he hates how much he wants to fix things even when he doesn’t know how. he just knows he wants to. god, fuck it—

fine. 

he hates how much he misses you.

but most of all, he hates that he was wrong. 

it was entirely his fault. 

jungkook hates it all.

by chance, you and jungkook run into each other. 

the scene is perfect.

it's the perfect set up to cry over when you get home—that is.

the rain starts just as you’re leaving the library, soft at first but quickly turning heavier. you don’t expect to see him—not here, not now—but there he is, standing under the awning of the café across the street, shaking out his umbrella. the door chimes as you step outside, and he looks up.

for a moment, neither of you move, caught in the heavy stillness of the moment.

jungkook freezes when he sees you. 

his eyes widen briefly, then soften into something cautious, hesitant. he tucks his hands into the pockets of his hoodie, fingers flexing nervously against the fabric as he steps forward.

“hey,” he says, his voice careful, like he’s offering a truce.

the sound of him makes your heart clench, the warmth in his tone threatening to undo you. but you don’t let it show. you nod once, lips pressed into a thin line, and move to step around him.

“wait—” his hand shoots out, not to grab you, just to stop you. his fingers hover midair, unsure if he even has the right to reach for you anymore. “___, please?”

the rain is falling harder now, pooling on the sidewalk and soaking into the edges of your shoes. you glance at him, taking in the way his hair clings to his forehead, the way his hoodie looks just a little too big on him, like he hasn’t been sleeping well or eating much.

“can you not pretend like this is a coincidence?” you ask quietly, refusing to meet his gaze. 

he stays silent. 

it wasn’t. 

truth be told, he’s been waiting outside for almost 45 minutes. he didn’t even know if you were at the library today… he just had to wait and find out for himself. 

"do you have an umbrella?" he asks, breaking the silence. 

"what—"

"here." 

he cuts you off, pushing the umbrella toward you.

you blink, startled, as he places the handle firmly in your hand. your fingers wrap around it instinctively, the metal cool against your palm.

"jungkook—" you start, your voice faltering.

he shakes his head, stepping back into the rain without a word. the downpour hits him almost instantly, soaking through his hoodie as he shoves his hands into his pockets and starts walking away.

you stand there, the umbrella trembling in your grip, watching him go. the rain comes down harder, cascading off the awning above you, but you barely notice. your gaze stays locked on him—on the way his shoulders hunch against the storm, on the slow but steady steps that carry him farther and farther away.

something tightens in your chest. 

maybe it’s regret or maybe longing… but as his figure grows smaller and the storm swallows him—you feel it.

the warmth of his lingering presence and the chill of it all—

—of your favourite almost.

a few days later, jungkook finds his umbrella in his bedroom. 

he takes out his phone to send you a text, prepared to humiliate himself and to beg for a second of your attention. he’d trade all tonight’s focus for a moment of you.

just as he picks the umbrella up, he finds a note. 

___ told me to give it back to you. she says thanks (whore). ps: she said don’t text her. — taehyung

jungkook sighs. 

does he listen? 

obviously not. 

nerd [6:19PM]: don’t tell me what to do  nerd [6:20PM]: i hate this nerd [6:21PM]: u should’ve jus kept the umbrella. giving it back to taehyung and telling him to tell me not to text u is sick.  seen. nerd [6:22PM]: reply pls seen.  nerd [6:26PM]: fine. i’ll jus talk to myself  nerd [6:31PM]: i miss u sm i jerked off the other night thinking abt the way u slapped me  seen nerd [6:33PM]: come on, kitty  nerd [6:34PM]: promise to think abt me tn :(  nerd [6:35PM]: cos i’m gonna think abt u tn nerd [6:36PM]: ignore me if u want proof  typing…  nerd [6:37PM]: kitty? seen nerd [6:40PM]: fuck. nerd [6:41PM]: how do u get me so fucking hard thru text? maybe i jus miss u too much  nerd [6:42PM]: excited for my proof?  seen nerd [6:45PM]: ft?  seen nerd [6:46PM]: keep seenzoning me and i’ll cum typing... seen ___ has notifications silenced

but it's too late.

jungkook meant it.

he's sat on his gaming chair, cock heavy.

his phone is out with that group picture from the arcade (zoomed into you) as lewd thoughts of you fill his mind. jungkook runs his thumb across his tip, hissing at the way it feels over his slit. 

he flicks his wrists, gripping his dick with just enough pressure to grow the hardness. it’s already stiff and he can feel the need to cum—but he just can’t.

he can’t without thinking of you. 

so, his eyes flutter shut as his memories of you replay in his mind. 

from the way your lips winced when he ate you out—to the way that mini skirt looked on you that day. he thinks about the way you say his name; in any and every way. angry, teasingly, and desperately… he thinks about how pretty it sounds rolling off your tongue. 

how pretty you looked under him.

how good you smelt when he kissed your neck. 

how close you sat next to him—fingertips lingering... god, what he would do to be close to you again. 

jungkook thinks about the slap. 

how hard your palms hit his cheek and how angry you looked at him. despite the negativity surrounding the situation—he can’t help it. 

you looked so hot. 

it just… gets to him. 

before he knows it, his hand is covered in his sticky cum. 

he’s a loser—a nerd in your words. 

he always has been… and here he is; jerking himself off to the pretty girl he lost his chance with.

the night is supposed to be nothing special. 

for jungkook, it’s just another event for his precious marine conservation club—a fundraiser, a schmooze-fest for potential investors, and a chance to hand out awards to appease the donors. sure, he’s getting an award, but it doesn’t feel like much.

the room buzzes with polite conversation and clinking glasses. jungkook adjusts his tie for the hundredth time, barely paying attention to the speeches and presentations. he stands off to the side with the other club members, blending into the background until his name is called.

“jeon jungkook, for outstanding contributions to marine conservation and innovation. mr. jeon has been working towards innovative chemical solutions for marine conservation, focusing on sustainable practices to protect endangered species like dolphins, and developing eco-friendly alternatives to reduce their environmental impact.”

the applause is polite but hearty.

jungkook steps onto the stage, the spotlight hitting him square in the face. as he accepts the plaque, his gaze instinctively sweeps over the audience—and then it stops.

you’re here.

sitting with the guys, casually chatting like you belong there, like you haven’t been avoiding him for a month and a half (at this point).

his heart trips over itself. 

he’s not even sure if it’s relief or panic or something else entirely, but it rattles him. he forces his attention back to the microphone, holding the plaque in his slightly sweaty hands.

“uh, thank you,” he begins, his voice steady enough, though his pulse is anything but. “our club’s mission has always been to protect and preserve marine life through education, community projects, and outreach. with this award…”

his eyes flick back to you. 

you’re laughing at something taehyung just said, your smile bright, your whole demeanor light and carefree.

“…we want to focus on…”

he falters, the words slipping from his mind as his gaze lingers on you.

“…we want to focus on… f-focus…”

a ripple of laughter spreads through the audience. someone whistles playfully. he blinks, startled back into the moment.

“…focus on sustainable practices and expanding our projects,” he finishes, clearing his throat as heat rises to his cheeks.

you’re laughing too, your head tilted slightly as you join the others. it should make him feel worse, but somehow, seeing you like that—smiling, present—grounds him.

he powers through the rest of the speech, keeping his gaze firmly away from where you’re sitting. when it’s over, he accepts the handshake from the host and makes his way offstage, barely registering the applause.

as soon as the ceremony ends, jungkook doesn’t even think. 

he weaves through the crowd, ignoring congratulatory pats on the back and comments from investors, his eyes scanning for you.

how did you know about tonight?

wait. 

shit.

he’s been texting you every day with random ass updates. of course you know. he’s yapped about it… but why? why did you come? don’t you hate his guts?

you're here so... maybe you don't hate him as much as he has convinced himself you do.

jungkook finds you near the back with the friend group, holding a glass of champagne and listening to hoseok animatedly retell a story.

“congratulations,” you say lightly, lifting your glass in a mock toast. your words are casual, but there's an edge to them, a distance you've kept between the two of you for far too long.

his chest tightens at the awkwardness of your tone, but he nods, his hands slipping into his pockets. the space between you feels impossibly wide now, though only a few feet separate you.

“thanks,” he says, his voice quieter than he intended. “... thanks for coming.”

his gaze flickers to yours for a second before dropping to the floor, and he shifts, a little uncertain, taking a half-step closer.

hesitantly, you inch back. 

his presence is suddenly overwhelming, more than you’re ready for.

“yeah… of course,” you murmur, unsure how to navigate the new dynamic between you two. the tension is thick, but there's something else there too. an unspoken history. “what are friends for, you know?”

he hates that. 

friends. 

yeah fucking right.

jungkook tries to break the tension.

he takes a risk.

he takes a small step forward, hoping you don’t move. this is the closest he’s gotten to you in over a month—he needs this. it’s like euphoria in his veins—being with you again.

he needs this.

“how have you been?” he asks, the question coming out softer than he anticipated. jungkook scratches the back of his neck and continues. “a-are you coming to the afterparty?”

your lips part, a pause hanging between you.

you don’t want to admit how much you’ve missed this. how much you’ve missed him.

but the words slip out, more natural than you expect.

“yeah,” you say, giving him a brief but warm look. “i’ll be there.”

for a moment, your eyes lock, and something shifts. 

it’s like you’ve both forgotten all the walls, the space between you collapsing. he can feel his heart rate quicken, like his knees might give out, but he forces himself to stay grounded, to act nonchalant.

“cool,” he says, trying to brush off the sudden rush of emotions. “i’ll.. i’ll be there too.” he smiles, but it’s the kind of smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes—not yet, anyway.

“i sure hope so,” you laugh. “it’s your party, nerd.”

nerd. 

holy shit. 

never has he ever felt so relieved to hear you call him that. 

as he’s about to say more, taehyung appears out of nowhere, slapping his arm and giving him a congratulatory squeeze. 

“hey, man, nice speech. well deserved,” taehyung says, grinning like an idiot. “what did you want to focus on, again?”

you laugh while jungkook rolls his eyes. he shoves taehyung playfully. 

suddenly, you can’t help but feel the awkwardness settle back in, like something’s shifted again. you feel a pang in your chest as you turn toward the other people nearby, the ones you've been socializing with before jungkook showed up. the buzz of the conversation pulls you away, and you focus on the group, hoping to escape the overwhelming emotions that jungkook’s presence stirs.

jungkook watches you go, his eyes lingering as you slip away from the conversation. 

he can’t help it. 

you’re in his head again.

he looks over at taehyung, catching his eye. 

“hyung, is she coming to the dinner before the afterparty?” he asks, trying to sound casual. his voice betrays him, cracking with just the faintest hint of hope.

taehyung raises an eyebrow, taking a sip of his drink. 

“yeah. excited?”

“no.”

taehyung scoffs. “say that again but take away the lying.”

“fuck off.”

“___’s a good friend, man,” taehyung chuckles, redirecting the conversation. “you’re lucky. you just might be back in her good graces.”

jungkook’s heart skips a beat. 

“really?” he asks, trying not to sound too eager.

taehyung grins, leaning in a little. 

“yeah, but... she’s bringing her little boyfriend with her.”

you’re doing what?

jungkook feels the need to rub his eyes or something.

was taehyung shitting on him? boyfriend? when did this happen? no fucking way. 

jungkook refuses to believe it. 

… yet, the words hit jungkook like a punch to the gut. his breath catches, and his stomach tightens. 

"what?" his voice is barely a whisper, the weight of it settling in. 

"she didn't tell you?"

"we haven't been talking."

"rightfully so."

fuck. 

no. 

he doesn’t want to believe it, but the hurt is already seeping through.

taehyung shrugs, oblivious to the internal storm brewing in jungkook. 

“shit, well... yeah, she’s been seeing him for a while. dunno if they’re officially together, but… guess she’s really moving on. good for her, right? i mean, now you can really focus on just being her friend.”

the air stills. 

the reality of it all comes crashing down. jungkook’s heart sinks, his chest tightening in that all-too-familiar ache. 

that's why you’ve been busy... 

you’ve been moving on.

his fingers curl into fists, the anger bubbling up before he can suppress it. but he doesn’t say anything, doesn’t let his emotions spill out in front of taehyung, even though every part of him is screaming. 

“yeah,” he forces a smile. “i guess.”

as the night goes on, jungkook can’t shake the feeling that he’s lost something he can’t get back. something that’s slipping further away with every step you take, every laugh you share with someone else. and no matter how much he wants to fight for it, he’s afraid it’s already too late.

jungkook doesn’t want to go to dinner anymore.

he has no appetite.

jungkook is already at the dinner when you arrive. 

his mood is off, grumpy but with an undercurrent of sadness that he can’t quite shake. he’s forcing a smile when people congratulate him for the award, but it’s clear it’s not reaching his eyes. the night’s just been a blur of congratulations and polite smiles, but all he can think about who will walk in with you. 

does he know him?

is he gonna be some super cool prince charming?

does he know that jungkook was eating you out just a month ago? 

all valid questions…

however, you arrive a little late, and immediately his gaze searches for you in the crowd. when he sees you, his heart lurches. he spots you talking to someone, and the knot in his stomach tightens.

you make your way to the table, your eyes scanning it before you stop. for a moment, you aren’t sure where to sit. usually, you sit next to jungkook… but the spot is occupied by jimin. 

not by choice.

jungkook had saved the spot for you… you just came too late and he didn’t have it in him to tell jimin to move. but, jimin catches the milli-second exchanged look you have with jungkook and immediately shifts. 

“oh,” jimin begins. “shit, i forgot… didn’t know you were gonna show up so late—”

you chuckle, shaking your head. “it’s fine we’re gonna sit on the other side! by the way,” you pause and push the guy you came with forward. “this is do-hwan. he’s a biochem major and we have a few electives together… um, what else?” 

biochem?

serisouly?

do you have a thing for nerds or something? bro doesn't even look the part. he should be majoring in physics or something even more lame.

jungkook's thoughts cut short when he hears you giggling.

“hi,” do-hwan says with a grins at everyone. then, he turns and extends his hand to jungkook. “jungkook? shit, man. congrats on the award.”

he chuckles, giving jungkook a playful look. “organic chem, huh? i guess someone has to study the pretty side of chemistry.” 

what the fuck does that mean?

jungkook’s ears turn red. 

“yeah,” he grumbles under his breath. “nice to meet you too.”

with that, you and do-hwan make your way to the other side of the table. jungkook watches, his gaze hardening as you take a seat beside him.

he’s trying his best to stay calm and to not show it—not show how absolutely fucking mad this entire thing is.

this is ridiculous! 

his chest tightens painfully at the sight of you sitting with him. his fingers curl into his glass as he watches you laugh and chat with others, inserting do-hwan like you’re some proud girlfriend. 

you've probably known do-hwan like 10 seconds.

and jungkook can’t help it! every word you exchange with do-hwan makes him feel like he’s being crushed from the inside out. 

he’s trying to focus on the conversation happening around him, but his mind keeps wandering, drifting to you.

he watches as you lean in to talk to do-hwan, the way your eyes light up when you laugh at something he says. it’s the same laugh, the same warmth in your smile, but somehow it feels so much farther away from him now—like a memory that he’s trying to hold onto but can’t quite grasp.

he forces himself to look at the group again, but his gaze keeps slipping back to you. every word you exchange with do-hwan makes his chest tighten.

it's like he’s suffocating, and he can’t tear his eyes away. the way he moves so casually, his hand brushing against yours as he reaches for his drink. 

it’s too much.

it’s too familiar.

and then, as you turn your head to respond to someone else, he sees it.

just a flash of it—right there on your neck. 

a small hickey, barely visible, but it might as well be a brand. his heart stops for a beat. the sight burns in his chest, and before he can stop himself, his breath catches in his throat.

his stomach churns violently, a rush of heat flooding his veins. everything feels like it’s collapsing inward. the noise around him fades, and all he can hear is the pounding of his own heartbeat. the world shrinks, and the weight of the jealousy hits him like a truck.

he can’t stay here. 

not like this. 

not with this tightness in his chest, not with the ache in his stomach. the room feels like it’s closing in on him, and he knows—he knows he has to get out.

without a word, he stands abruptly, pushing his chair back. his heart races as he excuses himself from the table, slipping away into the hallway outside the main dining area.

the rest of the table doesn’t seem to notice his sudden departure, but your friends quickly start murmuring, and one of them nudges you. 

"you should probably go check on him," taehyung says, giving you an almost knowing look. “i told you not to bring him.”

you hesitate for a second, then stand, glancing at do-hwan.

“it’s not do-hwan's fault.”

taehyung rolls his eyes at you. 

“you’re playing it kinda mean tonight though,” he tells you. “jungkook’s been miserable. sure he deserves to be dragged through mud for whatever happened and for whatever he said, but this? on his night? i don’t know ___…”

you gulp.

maybe taehyung is right.

but you didn’t intend for it to be like this. you genuinely brought a friend you’ve been spending time with! and, sure… yeah. you’ve been kissing him for a few weeks now, but so what? jungkook has probably been fucking every student he’s been tutoring so why the fuck does this matter?

“___…” taehyung urges you. 

“yeah, yeah… i’m going.” 

you wave taehyung off as you get up from your seat. you excuse yourself and let do-hwan know you’ll be right back.

you find jungkook outside. 

he stands with his back pressed against the cool metal of his car, arms crossed loosely over his chest. you notice that his posture is stiff... like he’s trying to keep himself grounded, but his shoulders still carry the weight of what he’s just seen.

his jaw clenches every so often, like he’s holding something back, but when his muscles tense, it’s almost as if the anger or hurt inside him is too much to contain.

as you walk towards him and he notices you. he runs a hand through his hair, tugging at the ends, clearly agitated. he lets out a slow, shaky breath, his eyes cast down toward the ground as if trying to collect his thoughts. he shakes his head slightly, as if to shake off the frustration that has settled in his chest, but it doesn’t seem to help. 

then, he looks up at the sky, his gaze distant, unfocused, lost in the swirl of thoughts that seem to chase him in circles. his arms drop to his sides for a moment, his fingers flexing and unflexing like he’s trying to release the tension that has built up in his body.

after a long pause, he lets out a frustrated sigh, raking his hand through his hair again, this time pushing it back as he exhales sharply.

his whole stance is restless.

it’s like he can’t quite settle his thoughts or his body, caught between what he feels and the reality of what’s happening. 

he’s trapped in his own head, unable to escape the weight of the situation.

by now, you’re next to him.

are you here to set him free?

“so… have the dolphins ever thanked you for your hard work?” you ask, trying to break both the silence and tension with your light tone. “you do so much for them… ungrateful little brats—you know they’re psychos right? they bully—”

he doesn’t turn around. 

“what’s on your neck?” he asks. “did your boyfriend do that?”

your chest hurts at his words. “he’s not... he’s not my boyfriend.” you swallow, trying to keep your voice steady. “he’s just a friend.”

there’s a long pause, and when he finally turns to face you, his eyes are a mixture of frustration and hurt. 

“the same kind of friend i am to you?”

he’s trying to sound nonchalant, but there’s a tremor in his voice.

you shake your head, not knowing how to explain, not knowing how to make him understand.

“you know what? i didn’t come here to make you feel like this…” your voice cracks slightly. “i didn’t... i don’t want to hurt you. i didn’t want to come.”

he scoffs bitterly.

“maybe you shouldn’t have.”

his words sting, but you can’t back down. 

“what do you want me to do?” you ask, frustrated. “if i didn’t show up, you’d be upset and blow up my phone. now that i’m here, you’re still upset—”

“and this is how you chose to show up?” jungkook raises his voice, turning to you. he steps forward, towering over you. he brings his hands to your hair, pushing it back and leaning in to look at your hickey properly. 

he squints. 

“are you proud of this?” he hisses. “fucking bug bite bullshit.”

“stop—” you snap, cutting him off now. “don’t—”

“okay. sorry, fuck..."

a beat.

"___, i miss you,” he breathes. “i just… shit. can you stay still for a second?”

there’s a long silence between you two, the air thick with things unsaid. jungkook looks like he’s about to say something, but his mouth closes, his frustration evident in the way he grits his teeth. 

instead, he just breathes you in. 

for the first time in a month and a half; jungkook can breathe.

then, he steps away and sighs. 

“think i’m gonna head home first. i… i need some space or something,” jungkook tells you. “let them know for me?”

“y-yeah. sure.”

“okay,” jungkook nods. “i’ll see you later.”

“see you.”

for the first time in a while, jungkook offers you a smile and you return it. 

short and sweet—he takes it. 

he leaves and thinks about it the entire drive home.

when you arrive at the party, you’re still reeling from the brief exchange with jungkook. 

your thoughts are completely a tangled mess. 

from the words he didn’t say to the way his eyes held that edge of something unspoken—it all lingers in your mind like an unsolved puzzle. you thought you had it all figured out…

that you could be fine.

that you could move on—but now, after that moment, you’re not so sure anymore. 

your heart races in a way that you can’t explain. why does it feel like you’re standing on the edge of something—something big, something scary—and yet, you're not sure if you want to fall or pull back?

your mind keeps returning to the way he looked at you, like he was caught between wanting to say everything and nothing at all. it’s not a feeling you can shake off easily.

it’s heavier than you thought it would be.

at the party, you try your best to focus on the people around you. do-hwan is by your side, chatting casually with a few people, most of them strangers to you. some faces are familiar—people from jungkook’s marine conservation club, and others... just people. 

you make your rounds, greeting them politely, exchanging pleasantries, but your thoughts are still drifting back to him. to jungkook. the air is thick with anticipation, and no matter how much you try to focus on the conversations happening around you, your mind keeps wandering.

and then, there he is.

jungkook is standing by the drink table, his posture relaxed but not at ease. 

his gaze flicks to you for a moment, a brief flicker of something—maybe surprise, maybe something more—before he meets your eyes. there’s a tense, palpable moment of silence.

he’s holding a red cup in one hand, his fingers wrapped loosely around it. his other hand rests in his pocket, but his stance is still too rigid... too guarded.

it’s like he’s waiting for something to happen, for you to do something.

he doesn’t smile. 

he just nods at you. 

a small, deliberate movement that somehow feels too formal, too distant.

no words.

just acknowledgment.

you feel the knot tighten in your stomach, the nervous energy in your chest quickening. it’s the simplest thing, but it feels loaded with so much more.

you can’t look away. 

something inside you is aching to go over, to close the space between you, to ask if everything’s okay, to say something—but you're frozen. the tension in the air between you is thick enough to suffocate.

you swallow hard, trying to calm the unease building in your chest, but it's no use.

the silence stretches out, heavy and thick, as you stand there, caught between the desire to run or to take a step closer, not sure if you're brave enough for either.

you take a step back, trying to break eye contact, when suddenly, someone bumps into you from behind. you stumble forward, your feet catching on the edge of a rug, and you let out a startled breath as you lose your balance.

before you can fully fall, a strong hand grips your wrist, pulling you back against something solid. your breath catches as you feel the warmth of someone’s body close to you.

it’s jungkook.

without a word, his other hand slides around your waist, steadying you, his fingers briefly pressing against the fabric of your shirt. the contact is brief but grounding, like the world, slows for a moment, just the two of you, suspended in time.

he doesn’t say anything, doesn’t offer the usual reassuring words. 

his grip is firm, and steady, but he doesn’t linger. as quickly as it happens, he pulls away, his hand leaving your waist just as the tension between you starts to build.

you open your mouth to say something, maybe a thank you, but before the words leave your lips, he’s already moving away, stepping back with that familiar, unreadable expression.

you stand there. 

you’re frozen for a beat longer than necessary. your chest tight as you try to catch your breath… his sudden departure stings more than you care to admit. there’s no time for you to process what just happened, what that touch meant—or didn't mean—before he vanishes back into the crowd.

fuck.

the night only gets louder as more people flood into the house. 

the music thrums through the walls, bass-heavy and relentless, blending with the clatter of cups and the hum of overlapping conversations.

you weave through the crowd, the heat of so many bodies pressed together almost suffocating. your heart races—not from the chaos around you but from the weight of the unspoken tension that’s followed you since you walked in.

you couldn’t bring yourself to drink, though do-hwan had handed you a cup earlier. 

it’s long forgotten somewhere, left behind on a table. you’re too afraid of what a single drink might loosen in you—afraid of saying or doing something you’re not ready for.

you don’t want to make worse what already feels so broken.

“hey.” do-hwan’s voice cuts through the noise, his hand resting lightly on your arm. he pulls you aside to a quieter corner of the room, away from the crush of people. “you okay?”

you nod, a small, uncertain smile tugging at your lips. “yeah. just... a little overwhelmed, i guess.”

he watches you closely, his expression softening as if he’s trying to read between the lines. “you sure? you’ve been kind of quiet tonight.”

“i’m fine, really.”

“you don’t have to be,” he says, and it’s the way he says it—gentle, almost understanding—that makes you crack a real smile. “pretty sure jungkook hates me. pretty sure he’s killed me 10 times in his head in the past hour or so… and he knows all the organic chem shit to make it a really clean murder, you know? “

you let out a weak laugh, but it doesn’t quite reach your eyes. 

he grins at the sight, his confidence blooming as he leans in closer, his shoulder brushing against yours. 

“there it is,” he says playfully. “i was starting to think you didn’t know how to smile anymore.”

you laugh softly despite yourself, and his grin widens. 

do-hwan then dips his head lower as he talks, his voice dropping slightly, as if the two of you are sharing a secret. it’s intimate in a way that makes your cheeks flush, his proximity unnerving. his eyes flick to yours, and he leans in just a little more.

across the room, jungkook sees everything. 

is it hot in here?

because fuck, he’s burning up.

actually, the entire house is on fire in his mind. 

he’s been watching you for most of the night, though he pretends not to be.

the way do-hwan hovers near you, the way you laugh at something he says—it feels like a punch to the chest. every small interaction between you two is a reminder of what he’s lost, of what he could’ve had if he’d been braver, better.

his grip on his cup tightens, his knuckles white against the red plastic. he can’t hear what you’re saying, but he doesn’t need to. the way do-hwan leans closer, the way his hand brushes your arm—it’s enough to make jealousy coil hot and bitter in jungkook’s stomach. it burns through him, unbearable, as he watches do-hwan dip his head lower, his lips so close to yours.

and then something inside him snaps.

fuck it. 

before he knows it, he’s moving through the crowd, his feet carrying him faster than his mind can keep up. his hand reaches out, fingers wrapping firmly around your wrist just as do-hwan’s face nears yours. you barely have time to process the sudden motion before you’re being yanked back, stumbling slightly into jungkook’s chest.

“what the hell?” do-hwan says, his tone sharp, but jungkook doesn’t even look at him. his focus is entirely on you, his jaw tight and eyes dark with something unreadable.

your breath catches, your heart hammering in your chest as you look up at him, startled. 

“jungkook—”

he doesn’t let you finish. 

his hand wraps firmly around your wrist, and before you can process what’s happening, he’s pulling you away. his grip is steady but not rough, a silent insistence that leaves no room for argument.

“jungkook, wait—” you try again, glancing back at do-hwan, whose confused expression barely registers in the rush of your heartbeat.

jungkook doesn’t look back, his jaw tight and his steps purposeful as he weaves through the crowd, his hand never leaving yours. the air around you feels heavy, the muffled music and chatter blurring into white noise as he leads you up the stairs.

your pulse thrums in your ears as he pushes open a door and pulls you inside, closing it behind you with a quiet but final click. the sudden silence of the room contrasts sharply with the chaos outside, and for a moment, you can only stare at him, your chest rising and falling as you catch your breath.

he finally lets go of your wrist, his hand lingering for a split second longer than necessary before he steps back. his gaze is dark, unreadable, but the tension radiating off him is palpable. the weight of the moment presses down on you, thick and suffocating, as you wait for him to speak.

a moment passes.

then, another.

and another.

and another.

and then—

“dump him.” 

you clearly your throat.

“can’t dump him. he’s not my boyfriend—“

“you and your fucking situationships.”

you gulp.

you hate the way he says it.

situationship… fuck him.

the room feels smaller than it is, the air thick with the weight of the moment. jungkook’s jaw ticks as he stares at you, the sharpness in his voice cutting through the silence.

“you’re… fucking with me, right?” he spits out, his tone teetering between disbelief and frustration. “you can’t be fucking real right now. you were just—”

“i was just what?” you snap, your glare matching his. “no fair, jungkook. i got to hear you fuck some girl, but you don’t want to watch me kiss—”

“did i ask you to?” he cuts in, his voice rising.

“no,” you huff, crossing your arms. “but what are you asking from me right now? huh? jungkook… i don’t understand you—”

“what do you think i’m asking?” his voice lowers, but the intensity behind it doesn’t waver. he steps closer, his presence almost suffocating. “you’re always trying to act like this doesn’t matter. like i don’t matter.”

“maybe it doesn’t,” you challenge, even though the words taste bitter on your tongue.

jungkook laughs, but it’s humorless, sharp. 

“yeah, sure. that’s why you still give a fuck about me fucking—”

you snap. “don’t tell me her name.”

“what?” jungkook grumbles. “is that it? you get to parade around, yelling his fucking name and announcing it to the entire fucking world but i don’t get to tell you about the girl that came onto me for months? do-hwan biochem this, do-hwan that—do-hwan kiss me! is that it?"

"jungkook—"

"fuck, ___... listen to me, okay? let me tell you what i've been rehearsing for the past month and a half.... the girl i declined over and over again and fucked a total of 3 times because i was thinking with my dick is done. okay? if you’re trying to tell me that i fucked up—fine. yeah. i fucked up. but i meant it when i said it’s not what it looked like. ___, it wasn't like that. she spread shit about me being a good tutor and twisted it. how the fuck do you think i feel about myself? how the fuck do you think i feel about you seeing it differently—seeing me differently?”

your throat tightens, and you look away, desperate for a moment to compose yourself. 

“jungkook—”

“tell me how to fix it,” he cries, his frustration spilling over. “tell me what you want, because i’ll do it. i’ll stop tutoring if that’s what you want. fuck, i already did to be honest with you.”

you glance up at him, startled.

“why? that’s not going to change anything.”

“but i have to try…” his voice cracks, and he runs a hand through his hair, his exasperation evident. “i’ll give up anything—whatever it takes. just tell me what you need, and i’ll do it. want me to stop wearing ugly ass shirts? fine. want me to stop saving the dolphins you hate so much—”

“i don’t hate dolphins—”

“you’re scared of them.”

your eyes soften. 

“how’d you know—”

“it’s obvious,” jungkook breathes. “the same way it’s obvious you’re scared of this.”

this...

what even is this?

the silence that follows is deafening. you don’t say anything, and the tension between you stretches taut, threatening to snap. his chest rises and falls heavily, his eyes searching yours, desperate for something you’re not sure you can give him.

he takes another step closer, his proximity making it impossible to think straight.

“say something,” he pleads, his voice barely above a whisper now.

but you can’t.

you don’t trust your voice, don’t trust yourself not to break under the weight of it all. so you stay quiet, the space between you charged with everything unsaid.

the weight of unsaid words and unresolved feelings pressing down on both of you. you take a step back, trying to create some space to breathe, but jungkook mirrors you, closing the distance effortlessly.

then, you look around his room for some kind of break… but it backfires as your eyes meet a plushie, laying on his bed.

hello kitty.

“what’s that?” you ask a little shyly.

jungkook turns his head, feeling a little embarrassed at what you’ve seen.

“what do you think it is?” jungkook asks gently. "___... i... i can't do it. i'm sorry, i can't..."

"can't what?"

"i can't want you," he confesses. "i can't want you when i need you that bad."

he points at the plushie and sighs. "fuck, do you know how stupid that fucking claw machine made me feel? i spent like 1 or 2—"

"hours?" your eyes widen.

he shakes his head. "hundred."

hundred.

you stay silent.

"i'm sorry, ___... for everything. i'm a shithead. i'm mean and inconsiderate. i'm a waste of time—i know... but i want you to know that... everything about my life feels so weird without you in it. the past month and half has been absolute hell. it's like... if you're not around, all i do is think about you and it fucks with me. i wonder what you're eating, who you're with, and what you're going to do next... i get excited when you seenzone me. i feel like i can finally breathe when you're near. i don't know what you did and what fucking pavlov doggy shit experiment you did on me—but fuck. woof woof. whatever you want, ___. seriously."

then, you do what you fear.

you give in.

“how am i supposed to trust you,” you start, your voice shaky but firm, “when you’re not even a good friend? you’re always so mean to me, jungkook. think about it… when have we ever been good friends?”

he scoffs, the corner of his mouth twisting into a bitter smile. 

“maybe it’s because i don’t want to be your friend.”

the words hit you like a slap, your breath catching in your throat. 

“what if i want you to be?” 

his eyes search yours, as if trying to figure out if you’re serious. 

“really?” he asks, his voice dropping lower, softer.

“really.”

his gaze flickers down to your lips, then back to your eyes, and his voice drops even lower, a dangerous edge creeping into it. 

you can feel it… you can feel it about to happen. 

“even when i’m about to do this?”

before you can process his words, his hand moves to your waist, fingers curling around you in a way that sends a shiver down your spine. he pulls you closer, the heat of his touch searing through the fabric of your clothes.

his lips find yours in a kiss that’s as sudden as it is inevitable. 

it’s not gentle—it’s firm, deliberate, and entirely consuming. his other hand comes up to cradle your jaw, tilting your head just enough to deepen the kiss. your hands instinctively reach for his shoulders, gripping him as if to steady yourself against the storm he’s unleashing.

when he finally pulls back, his forehead rests against yours, both of you breathing hard. the air between you feels different now—heavier, laden with something you can’t quite name but can’t deny.

when jungkook finally pulls away, the world feels quieter, as though it’s holding its breath. his hand slides up, brushing a loose strand of hair from your face, and he looks at you softly, his dark eyes searching yours. the tender gesture sends a fresh wave of confusion—and longing—coursing through you.

“bad friend,” you scold him in a whisper.

his lips twitch, a soft laugh escaping him as his thumb grazes your cheek.

“don’t do that,” he says, his voice low, almost pleading. 

you raise a brow at him. "do what?"

"don’t friendzone me.”

“why not?” 

“i just kissed you.”

“so?”

“so?” he mimics, his tone teasing, but there’s a sharpness in his voice that makes you squirm. his arms tighten around your waist, pulling you impossibly closer. 

“kitty,” he murmurs, his voice dropping to a rough whisper, “i’m gonna be impossible to get rid of now."

[flwrstqr]

[⠀谷. ) ✶ ㅤ ENHYPEN WHEN THEY PIN YOU AGAINST THE WALL

` . . ── 𝗜𝗡 𝗪𝗛𝓲𝗖𝗛, they cage you against the wall

( 𝓢. ) bf!enhypen hyung line ⠀⦂ ⠀ f!reader / 1OOOwc. && skinship, est relationship, petnames, fluff ── ARCHiVE ⠀ ｡｡ ૮ ♡◞ ◟ ა

𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆

heeseung steps into the room, his tie already hanging loose around his neck. "baby, i'm home," he calls softly, a tired smile tugging at his lips as his eyes find yours. you barely manage a response before he starts closing the distance, his long fingers tugging at the knot of his tie, letting it dangle completely undone as he walks closer. "missed you so much today," he murmurs, his voice warm and low. the soft sound of his jacket hitting the couch accompanies the way his gaze locks onto yours, and suddenly your back meets the wall. his arms frame you as he leans in, the familiar scent of his cologne filling the space between you. "baby, i missed you," he whispers, his nose brushing yours. unable to resist, you grab his collar and pull him into a sweet kiss.

𝐏����𝐑𝐊 𝐉𝐀𝐘

you were just reaching for something on the counter when jay swooped in, grabbing it before you could, his usual teasing smile in place. "always so impatient, huh, sweetheart?" he says, setting the item down and turning to you, his hand brushing against your waist as he steps closer, backing you gently against the wall. his eyes flicker to your lips, and the playful smirk softens, his voice dropping to a murmur. "you’re not gonna thank me?" you can barely breathe, your heart racing as he leans in, his forehead resting lightly against yours. just as you’re tilting your head up, ready to close the tiny gap, the door bursts open. "yn did you see my—" sunghoon’s voice breaks the moment, and you both freeze. you nearly fumble, pushing lightly at jay’s chest, but he just laughs, stepping back slowly. "relax, sunghoon," jay says casually, shooting him a grin. "she was just thanking me... right, baby?"

𝐒𝐈𝐌 𝐉𝐀𝐊𝐄

you’re reaching for the top shelf, fingertips barely grazing the edge when jake’s voice sounds from behind you, low and teasing. "need some help, baby?" before you can answer, he steps in, his arm easily grabbing the item and handing it over, but instead of moving back, he stays close—too close. when you turn to thank him, you find yourself lightly pinned, his hand resting on the cabinet behind you, his face mere inches from yours. "you know," he starts, a playful grin spreading across his face as his eyes flicker to yours, "you could’ve just asked me instead of struggling. but maybe you like me saving the day, huh?" you roll your eyes, your cheeks heating at how his teasing tone matches the way his other hand brushes your waist. "jake, move," you say, trying to sound annoyed, but he just chuckles. "not until you admit it," he whispers, leaning in ever so slightly.

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐍

you barely have time to process it when sunghoon’s warm hand slides gently to your waist, pinning you against the wall with a playful grin lighting up his face. "you know," he murmurs, his voice low but teasing. "we’re supposed to be studying,” you manage to whisper, but your voice falters as his lips ghost over yours. “maybe this is my way of learning,” he quips back his lips brush yours—light at first, like he’s testing the waters. when he finally pulls back, his forehead rests against yours, and he whispers with a smirk, "maybe we should make this a break... for educational purposes, of course." his laugh is soft, and you can’t help but smile, your cheeks burning.

[daisymbin]

could i please request suggestive prompt 21 with mingyu? thank youu 💗💗

ah!!!! I enjoyed writing this one omg I may have went a little overboard. hope you enjoy it!

request your own: full prompt list!

check out my masterlist!

suggestive prompt #21: "do you want me to kiss it better?"

you had always been a little careless, never one to shy away from trying new things or pushing boundaries. this time, though, it had been a mistake. you had tripped while running back to your apartment, scraping your knee pretty badly on the sidewalk.

you cursed under your breath, inspecting the small but painful cut. it stung, and you hissed as you tried to clean it with a tissue. that's when mingyu walked into the room, looking far too relaxed for someone who hadn't been aware of the situation.

"hey, what happened?" he asked, concerned but still casual. you glanced up, meeting his dark eyes, and tried to wave it off, a sheepish smile tugging at the corner of your lips.

"just a little fall," you said, holding up the tissue as proof.

mingyu raised an eyebrow, stepping closer. "you know, i think you might need a little more than a tissue for that."

before you could respond, he reached for the first aid kit you kept in the bathroom. when he returned, he knelt beside you, his fingers lightly brushing your knee as he gently cleaned the cut. his touch was soft but steady, and the warmth of his hand lingered even after he finished.

"better?" he asked, his voice low and warm.

you nodded, a small smile forming on your lips as you looked down at him. "yeah, thanks."

mingyu’s eyes were focused on your knee for a moment, but then they flicked up to meet yours, an unmistakable glint of mischief in them. there was a playful energy in the air, something you couldn't quite ignore. he was never one to let a situation like this slide without teasing you just a little.

"do you want me to kiss it better?" he asked, the words dripping with just the right amount of suggestiveness. you froze for a split second, caught off guard by the sudden shift in his tone. his lips quirked into a grin as he watched your reaction, clearly enjoying the way you seemed to hesitate.

your heart skipped a beat, and you opened your mouth to say something, but no words came out. mingyu’s grin only widened as he hovered a little closer, his face just inches from yours now. his eyes were locked on yours, but his expression was unreadable—teasing but not quite pushing.

"you don't have to," he added, voice softening, his teasing lightening into something a little warmer. "i just thought... well, it might make you feel better."

you swallowed, heart racing. there was something about mingyu that always had this effect on you. he was always so effortless, so comfortable in his own skin, and yet always knew how to make you feel a little off balance. in this moment, you weren’t sure if he was being genuine or playful—but you couldn’t deny the pull you felt.

without thinking, you reached out, gently tugging at his wrist, pulling him just a little closer. "maybe you could," you said softly, feeling a slight flush spread across your cheeks.

mingyu’s eyes flickered, and for a moment, there was a brief, tangible silence between you both. then, without missing a beat, he leaned forward and pressed his lips gently against your knee, his touch surprisingly tender despite the playful words.

"there," he said with a grin, pulling back. "all better."

you couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous the situation had become. but somehow, mingyu made it feel like the most natural thing in the world.

your heart skipped a beat, and you opened your mouth to say something, but no words came out. mingyu’s grin only widened as he watched you squirm, clearly enjoying the effect he had on you. but you weren’t going to let him win this time. after all, he always flirted and teased, and you were getting a little tired of being the one caught off guard.

taking a deep breath, you decided to play along, even if it made you nervous. "well, now that you've kissed my knee," you started, giving him a teasing look, "my heart feels unwell."

mingyu blinked, confusion flickering across his face before his lips curled into a knowing smile. "oh really?" he said, voice now more serious, but still with that hint of playful arrogance. "and why is that?"

"i think i have a case of the butterflies," you replied, your voice light, but you couldn’t stop the flutter in your chest. "so maybe you should kiss me better."

mingyu’s expression softened just a bit, his eyes darkening with a sincerity that made your heart race even more. he leaned in closer, not teasing now, but purposeful. "you want me to kiss you better?" he asked again, this time his voice low, his words almost a challenge.

you hesitated for only a second before nodding, your pulse quickening in anticipation. without wasting another moment, mingyu closed the distance between you two, pulling you in and pressing his lips against yours with a deep, urgent kiss. it was everything you’d been trying to avoid—intense, electrifying, like a storm that had finally come crashing down.

when he finally pulled away, you were left breathless, your heart pounding in your chest. mingyu’s expression had shifted slightly, his grin replaced with something that bordered on vulnerable. he ran a hand through his hair, looking at you with a playful yet serious look in his eyes.

"now my heart feels unwell," he muttered, voice low and teasing once more. "guess you’ll have to kiss me better now."

you raised an eyebrow, trying to keep your composure despite the butterflies still fluttering wildly in your stomach. "but if we keep going, we're only going to take turns being unwell, I can't keep kissing you forever,"

mingyu chuckled, his warm breath brushing against your lips. "you can't? i definitely can. it just makes the job a little easier if you take care of me sometimes too, just to, you know, make it fair?"

you weren't sure what came over you, or what gave you such big confidence to even have a conversation like this with him, but mingyu's smile was enough to make your resolve crack. "let's make it fair then," you answered, your hands reaching for the ends of his collar, pulling him in. this time, you leaned in with purpose, your lips capturing his in another kiss.

he didn’t pull away this time, his hands finding your waist, holding you close as the kiss deepened. there was no teasing now—just the undeniable chemistry between you two, raw and intense. when you finally pulled back, both of you were left breathless, hearts racing.

"not all aches go away so fast," mingyu murmured, his voice low, a slight smirk tugging at the corner of his lips as he gazed at you.

"what do you mean?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper, still lost in the aftertaste of the kiss.

"i mean," he said, his tone suddenly more serious, "i think... you're gonna have to kiss me more and take care of me for a while. i'm not sure how long this ache in my chest will last. maybe a few years, maybe a lifetime, who knows?" his boyish grin was still there, but his eyes—those dark, soulful eyes—were locked onto yours, filled with something deeper now.

you felt your heart do a little flip. "you're serious, aren’t you?" you whispered, your voice a little shaky. mingyu's big smile drops into a small, scared and hesitant smile. he nodded, never breaking eye contact, his expression soft but filled with that same playful intensity. "mm," he says, "so serious."

the weight of his words hung in the air, a promise and a challenge all at once. you couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face, a mixture of awe and affection. your fingers lightly brushing his cheek. "guess i’ll just have to find a way to live with that ache of yours."

mingyu’s grin grew, that mischievous sparkle in his eyes returning. "guess we’ll both be living with a few aches for a while, then."

you leaned in once more, pressing your lips to his. this time, there was no rush. just the warmth of his lips on yours.

[merajsblog]

rin never had time for anyone else besides soccer. he was always busy either with school, or more importantly, practicing for soccer.

he never expected to find you on one random friday night. it was well after his practice, and his mom dragging him and his family to the mall to do some last minute shopping for a family party. he was beyond unhappy to be dragged along doing such “NPC” activities on a friday night, as if he was going to go out or something…

“Rin come look at this and tell me if it looks okay!” his mom calls out. he turns the corner, sulking as he heads over to check it out. she’s holding a black velvet dress with a rather large bow on it. she’s holding it up against herself, beaming at him. he’s opening his mouth to say something bland, before you come around from behind her, hands full with clothing.

you’ve got the cutest smile he’s ever seen. your eye contact is sharp, and it feels as though you’ve pierced through him. you give him a soft smile and he is even more lost for words.

“i found these dresses too! i think they’d look wonderful on you!” you beam at his mom. you clearly worked here, the walkie on your belt and badge told him that. he pays close attention now, watching you sway around her, helping her button up her shirts, and conversing about what looked best.

rin honestly had no words. there was something entrancing about you, and he felt as though he needed to analyze everything about you and your actions. he took note of how you’d bite your lip when thinking, when you placed your hands on your hips, how your head turned to the side when considering.

“Please, I insist!” he hears his mom say. it snaps him out of it. he’s engaged in the conversation now, trying to figure out what’s happening.

“When is it?” you ask, cocking your head to the side. rins mom looks at him, and before he even thinks, he’s blurting out the exact date and time. “November 30th, 8pm!” he says, wide eyed. his mom chuckles a little before trying more to persuade you to come.

“Rin, help me persuade her! I want to thank her for her amazing help! I found the perfect dress!” She says, eyes brimming like stars.

he was lost on what to say. no words came to mind.

“yes.” was all he could mutter out while maintaining the most intense eye contact ever. it made you swallow whole.

“Rin, give her your number and send our adress, i will see you there!” she squabbles, while hustling to the check out. you walk over, smile on your face and hand reaching out. rin almost forgets what is happening, this looks like a scene out of an angel movie or something. he only watched horror.

“let me put my number in your phone!” you said, hand extended. he fumbles his hands, trying to pull it out.

“yea hold on..um it’s..wait.” and he pulls his phone out. you quickly type it in, and hand it back, tucking hair behind your ears. he’s never been this starstruck before. he’s stumbling over his words, eye contact faltering. if anyone in blue lock saw him now, they wouldn’t even recognize him.

it’s safe to say he cannot wait until the party.

“i hope to see you then..or i mean my mom is excited to see you..” he mutters, starting to back away. you let out a giggle and he’s lost again, mouth slightly open.

“i’ll see you guys soon then.” you say curtly, before another customer comes hustling in asking for help. he’s almost upset, and wants to tell them to fuck off. though, he thinks you would hate him if he did that. so he doesn’t.

[rafedaddy01]

Rafe has been obsessed with his assistant y/n ass

And she knows it

He always looks at it and even "accidentally "brushed his hand across her butt

Of course he is happily married so nothing has happened between them

Until now

Y/n walks into his office late in the evening

Slowly taking of all of her clothes telling him:

" Please f my ass sir"

-

You’ve seen the way your bosses eyes occasionally drop down to your ass and the way he ‘accidentally’ brushes his hands against your behind whenever he can. You also know that he’s happily married and would never lay a finger on you himself, which is why you’re standing in his office late at night when everybody has already gone home.

“Y/n, it’s late. Why haven’t you gone home” Rafes eyes are glued onto his computer screen but immediately look up when you shut his door and lock it. “”Y/n?” He clears his throat as he eyes your body up and down, watching as you reach over and pull the blinds closed.

“Just needed one more thing for the night, sir” you step closer to his desk and slowly start pulling your dress down until your standing in only the black lingerie you put on this morning. “Will you fuck my ass, sir?” You flutter your little lashes as you watch Rafes cheeks blush up red.

He pushes his chair back from his desk, standing and walking closer to you, “since you asked so nicely”

“Thank you, sir” you smile as you turn around and wiggle your ass at him, looking behind your shoulder and enticing him further.

“My god” he says under his breath as his eyes fall from your face to the material wrapped tightly around your flesh.

He wasted no time reaching out and palming your ass, his fingers leaving indents as he squishes the skin before pulling his hand back and swatting you, watching it jiggle and loving the little yelp that escapes you. He holds your ass with one hand as the other reaches for his belt, undoing it and pulling it from the loops of his dress pants. You watch his every move as he grabs your wrists, pins them behind your back and ties his belt around them. He brings you to his desk and pushes you down onto it, your face presses against the cool metal and your breathing picks up as you hear the zipper of his pants being pulled down.

He pulls the little panties off your body and groans as he takes in your naked skin. “Please, sir” you wiggle your ass, inpatient and ready to take what he’s about to give to you.

He doesn’t say a word but you feel his fingers touch you. You hear him spit against your tight ring and feel it dribble down as he pushes a finger into you and you wince then moan as he continues stimulating you.

He continues warming you up, shoving a second finger alongside the first as he feels you relax under him. You’re already a moaning mess, your pussy pulsating around nothing as you grow wetter by the second at the thought of what’s to come.

He pulls his fingers out, pushing your legs wider with his knees as his hands play with your ass. Palming the flesh and slapping it just to hear you gasp and watch the flesh jiggle before his eyes.

He grips the base of his freed cock with one hand and taps his tip against your hole. You moan at the small sensation.

“Rafe” you breath out a moan “please, sir. I need it” you groan as you feel him start to slowly push his tip in.

“Don’t worry, I’ll give you what you fucking want” he grits as he feels your tightness start to envelope him, sucking him in.

He pushes all the way in, groaning at how tight you are. You moan his name and curses as he bottoms out and stays still for a minute to take it all in. “Good, you feel so fucking good” he chuckles breathlessly.

“Such a little slut. Coming into my office, Late at night and asking me to fuck your ass” he pulls back slowly only to slam forward with aggression.

You gasp at the new sensation. Arms reaching out for anything to grasp onto, only to be pulled back by his belt tightly wrapped around your wrists.

“Don’t try to run now” he snaps his hips again, more roughly this time.

“You wanted this” he pulls on the belt, tightening it further so your hands have no where to move.

“You asked for this” another harsh thrust as he picks up the pace.

You’re a babbling mess of thank yous and sirs and pleases. Your eyes permanently stuck in the back of your head as your mouth hangs out and drool spills out all over your bosses paperwork. “You feel so good” you moan out his name, tears spilling out your eyes as you thrash. The pleasure all too much.

His palm comes down against you ass, the sound of flesh on flesh echoes in the office as he lands another smack on the other side.

“Yeah? You like it” his voice is shakey and breathless as he continues putting in work, hips moving back and forth.

“Yes, oh god yes. I love it” you squeal. The mixture of pain and pleasure bringing you closer and closer to the edge.

“You want me to cum inside this tight little ass?” He lands another harsher smack against your ass.

The skin turning a dark red color from all the abuse it’s taken. You know it’ll be hard to sit down tomorrow, but you don’t care.

You felt the way his cock swelled up, the way it throbbed and alerted you he was already close to cumming.

You felt your own insides flutter and tighten, especially when Rafes fingers moved to toy with your clit.

“Holy shit, you’re so wet” he groaned as he felt the sticky juices that gathered against your thighs and dripped down onto his desk.

“Maybe I should fuck this sweet pussy next” his fingers pushed down onto your clit, circling it and loving the way your body and mouth reacted.

“Fuck! I’m gonna cum-“ your voice moaned and squeaked as your legs started to shake.

“There we go, baby. Cum for me” he soothed you as he continued to fuck you through it and his fingers flicked your pearl faster with each thrust he delivered.

You clenched harder around him and he choked and groaned as he couldn’t contain himself much longer, releasing every last drop into that sweet, juicy ass he stared and dreamed about every damn day.

Taglist

@f4ll-for-you @rafeysworldim19 @baby19sthings @sevenwivesofrafecameron @rxfecameronsslut @findapenny @r1vrsefx @spencerreidsrealgf @rafescokenostril @thievin-stealing @rafemotherfuckingcameron @dilvcv @starkeysheart @wearemadeofstardust0 @theoraekenslover @mema10 @writingroom21

[naughtyneganjdm]

Love's Second Chance: A Holiday Reunion - Chapter 5

Summary: After their date, Y/N takes Negan back home with her where the two of them try to get lost in one another, but have to tackle some obstacles along the way.

Characters: Negan Smith, the reader (OC), Elizabeth, Joel Miller (Mentions), Tommy Miller (mentions), etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60501985/chapters/155078377

Warnings: 18+, Swearing, Smut, Oral, Angst, Uncomfortable Situations, Unprotected P in V, etc.

Notes: There is no Joel in this chapter, but he is talked about quite a bit. Thanks to those that are reading the story and also a big thank you to those that comment! It means a lot!

Walking up to the front door of her home had Y/N trembling. It was no doubt a combination of things. The revealing dress that she was wearing likely didn’t help since it had started snowing again and it was freezing. But what also added to her nervousness was the reminder that Joel was the only man she had ever slept with. Continuously that lingered in her mind.

“Careful,” she instructed Negan, her fingers hooking tighter with his knowing that the snow was incredibly slippery as they made their way up to the door. Once she moved up the steps and pulled her keys from the jacket she had on, she realized just how much she really was shaking. Getting the key in the door was hard so she had to focus herself. By the time she pushed the door open, she felt a little resistance from Negan when she headed into the house. Gazing back over her shoulder, she noticed something in Negan’s eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“I need you to let me know you really want me to come inside,” Negan responded, his chiseled jawline flexing when he looked to their hands.

“Is this the part where you tell me you are a vampire now and you can’t come in without me inviting you first?” she teased him, enjoying the way that his thumb swept over the back of her hand. A smirk tugged at his handsome features and she wondered if she had done something wrong.

“No, I just…” Negan paused, his thick eyebrows bouncing up when he shook his head. “I don’t want you to think that I only asked you out because I wanted to have sex with you. I don’t want you to think you have to have sex with me because you feel guilty for things either. I really did just want to spend time with you because I missed you.”

Turning to face Negan fully, she reached for his other hand and politely urged him into the house. Moving forward, she reached out to cup his face in her palms tenderly. Hushing him, she braced her weight against him when she got him to lower down to meet her in a kiss.

“I want you here. Not because I feel guilty, not because I just want a one-night stand or think you do,” she assured him with his eyelids getting heavy and his lips parting. Nuzzling his nose in against hers had her addicted to the feeling of someone so desperate to be near her. “I just want you here.”

“Yes ma’am,” Negan licked his lips, stepping back to close the door for her and lock it. Turning on his heel, Negan moved slowly until he was standing before her. His beautiful hazel eyes were locked on hers with his long eyelashes fluttering. Stroking his fingers down over the side of her face had her eyes coming to a tight close and he sighed. “I should have called you. I should have been part of your life and I’m so fucking sorry.”

“You’re here now,” she whispered, reaching up to place her hand in over his, caressing over it.

Fluttering her eyes to an open, she curled her fingers loosely around his wrist and led him toward the stairs. Taking their time, she moved up the stairs heading for her bedroom. Once inside, she allowed him to follow her and she closed the door behind them. Negan stood at the center of the room, his breathing loud as he closely watched her every move. Stroking her fingers over the center of his chest had Negan’s long eyelashes fluttering. It was hard to imagine, but Negan looked incredibly vulnerable right now standing in front of her.

Pushing her fingers underneath the material of his suit jacket had it falling down his arms. The jacket got to his wrists and he had to help her get it off him. Tossing it to the floor, Negan swallowed down hard and felt her plucking apart the remaining buttons of his black, button-down shirt. Untucking the shirt from his pants, she lowered her hands down over the lower part of his abdomen allowing them to flatten against the warmth of his flesh. Negan’s body was so vastly different than Joel’s and it would take some getting used to. Sliding her palms up had her fingers teasing through the dark curls of hair over Negan’s torso. The touch had his abdomen sinking in repeatedly with his deep breaths until she reached his chest. Starting to kiss faintly at the center of his chest had a low rumble of a moan falling from his throat.

At the same time, Negan was helping her work her jacket from her body getting it to fall at their feet with his. There was a desire burning deep within him with every delicate kiss she pressed over his chest. Working with her, they managed to get his shirt off and to the ground as well. What surprised him was how she looked at him. How she took all of him in. Touching his body, learning his tattoos and cherishing him like he was a work of art.

“I feel like a teenager again,” Negan whispered lifting his hands just enough to let them settle against her hips. It had her chuckling against his flesh as she started peppering her kisses over his collarbone toward his shoulders to where his freckles were. The wet kisses against his shoulder had Negan’s eyes coming to a close while he enjoyed her pampering his body. “I’m shaking.”

“We were just out in the snow,” she found it cute that he was insisting that she was making him nervous. Tipping her head back, she looked up at him and saw him smirk. Shaking his head, he lowered down to steal a kiss from her lips.

“No, I’m not shaking because I’m cold,” Negan assured her with a snicker, nipping faintly at her bottom lip. “You fucking do this to me. You always did this to me. I’ve missed you so fucking much and the idea of us finally doing this…I’m kinda fucking nervous.”

“You’re nervous?” she found amusement in that, drawing small shapes down over his body. “You’re the celebrity. If anyone should be nervous, it’s me.”

“Right now I just feel like a boy all over again. In love with a girl that is capable of holding my whole heart in her hand,” Negan reached for one of her hands to bring it up for him to deposit a kiss over the back of it.

Hearing the way he spoke took her breath away. Tipping in, she took her time to pepper small, wet kisses over his chest. Negan wasn’t kidding when he said he was trembling. It was obvious, but she found herself drawn to it. Pressing her fingers against his lower abdomen, she put enough pressure into it to have him back stepping. The back of his knees hit the bed causing him to lower down onto the edge of it. Having his big eyes watching her with him breathing loudly sent chills down her spine. A rush flooded her veins when she brazenly reached behind her to drag the zipper down in her dress. Stepping out of her shoes, she swallowed down hard with the way that Negan had his eyes locked on her. Awe filled them with him pressing his hands at his side to help brace himself.

Doubts did fill her mind at the idea of all of this as the material parted. Afterall, Joel was really the only man she had been with her whole life. She could be terrible with sex and not really know it. Plus, she hadn’t had much practice. In the last few years she had only been with Joel a few times. So she didn’t know if she’d continue to be this brave. Lowering the material down her body had her standing before Negan in only her black panties.

A tremoring breath escaped his lips and he wiggled his finger to urge her closer to him. Hooking his arm around her waist, Negan helped her crawl in over his lap. The warmth of his chest pressed against hers with him palming his large hands up over the lengths of her back, “You take my breath away.”

Hearing that took hers away when he claimed her lips with his again. Instead of just jumping right into things, they took their time caressing over each other’s bodies. Touching each other and getting used to the other all over again. A fire ran through her veins while she stroked at Negan’s scalp with his lips kissing up and over her jawline back toward her neck.

A wet sound fell from Negan’s lips when she shakily moved from his lap to slide down to her knees before him. Keeping her eyes hooked on his, she felt his thumb sweeping over her bottom lip and she kissed at the pad of his thumb. First she took her time getting his belt undone before working open his pants. Kissing at the area right above the hemline of his pants had him sucking in a sharp breath of air. Stroking his fingers through her hair, Negan was amazed with the way she was with him. Rushing things was not something they were doing here. She was pampering his body, cherishing him like he was a gift that had been given to her.

Hooking her fingers into his pants, she used a bit of strength to get them down his hips. Helping her, Negan lifted up so she could get the material of his dark slacks and his boxer briefs down his long slender body. A smacking sound followed with his erection hitting his lower abdomen. Carefully she set his clothes beside her on the floor and he swallowed down hard.

“You are so gorgeous,” she swept her fingers down over Negan’s leg evoking a tight groan from him. Crawling closer to him had his chest rising and falling.

Anticipation flooded his veins as he licked his lips to wet them. Urging his knees apart, she rest herself between them. Palming up over his thighs had him humming out. It was like she was taking her time to learn all of him again. Sweeping her fingers in over his injured knee took his breath away. Delicately she dragged her fingers across the scarring that was done from his surgeries that he had. Usually he was pretty sensitive about that area because it was the one part of his body that he wasn’t comfortable with. Swallowing down hard, he watched as she lowered her head to press faint kisses over his scars. The tenderness in the way she touched him and kissed at his body had Negan tremoring beneath her touch. Most people he wouldn’t be comfortable with doing this, but she genuinely seemed to care for him. And it drew him to her even more.

Having her looking up at him from where she was had chills flooding throughout his body. Other than Lucille, when people were with him they typically looked at him a certain way. It was either excitement with the fact they were hooking up with a celebrity where they only cared about the moment, not him or they just looked at him like he was something to be won. But in her eyes, he saw someone who actually seemed to care. There was an empathy for him that not a lot of people had. But it wasn’t in a way that was meant to make him feel bad. She just didn’t like seeing him hurt.

Palming over the side of her face had her turning into his touch to place a loving kiss over the center of his hand. Broken breaths fell from his lips. It had been so long since someone’s touch had been genuine where the person seemed to actually care for him.

As her kisses started to press over his thighs, he felt the warmth of them growing closer to his center and he let out a tremoring breath. Brushing his thumb against her cheek, he urged her to look up at him breaking the contact of her kisses from his flesh, “You don’t have to do this.”

“I want to,” she slurred palming in over the length of Negan’s shaft triggering him to close his eyes tightly. Groaning out, he felt her kisses following the movement and it had him caressing in over her shoulders. It was very sensual with what she was doing. She wasn’t out to prove something. It was just her cherishing his body and pampering him. Dragging her tongue along the length of his shaft had his thighs flexing and a sharp breath escaping him.

A low rumble of a moan fell from his throat when she curled her fingers around the base of his erection. Getting up further on her knees, she led his cock to her lips. Gentle kisses pressed over his manhood and his hips slid in closer to her. Watching her made him breathless. Reaching the tip, her lips parted taking him in. The warmth of her mouth surrounding his sensitive flesh drew out a deep raspy moan from his throat. Hearing that was a gift in itself. It made her want to do this all the more. Caressing over her shoulders and down over the center of her back, he wanted to relax her. Show her his appreciation. At first, her motions were slow. Dropping her head down slightly, taking her time then to pull back and drag her tongue against his erection. Each movement allowed her to take more of him into her mouth. And he was loving it.

Licking his lips, Negan stroked his fingers against the back of her neck. Now he understood the whole comment about everything feeling like the first time. Because this felt exactly like that. Whispering praises to her while she pleasured him only enticed her more. Sweeping her hair from her face, Negan was desperate to watch her. It looked like she enjoyed herself with every bob her head made over his length.

Taking a breath, she pulled her lips not too far away from his cock having his hips arch up toward her. With a smile, she teased kisses at the wet tip. Her tongue slightly dragging out against the soft, velvety skin. Varying between wet kisses and sweeps of her tongue over his body had him tensing up beneath her.

“Your cock is perfect,” she slurred against the tip of it, her eyes locking with his. Teasing her tongue across the patch of skin where the shaft and tip met had him locking up. His eyes closed and he shook. “I haven’t completely forgotten what you liked.”

Sliding his hand up over the side of her neck, Negan dragged his thumb along her jawline and smiled, “So much time has passed, but it feels like fucking yesterday. You are as fucking perfect as you’ve always been.”

Gentle strokes over his body continued, but he knew that in this moment, he didn’t need her to keep pampering him. So he reached for her, being careful in the way that he helped her up from her knees. Standing up, Negan made her gasp when he picked her up in his arms. Surprised filled her eyes at how easily he did it. Showing the strength that he had when he lowered her down at the center of the bed.

Suddenly this all started to feel real again. For a while it just felt like a blast from her past, a memory she had long forgotten but as Negan reached for the hemline of her panties she felt anxious before him. For the last however many years she had been only Joel’s. Yet here she was with someone completely new, someone who knew her just as much as Joel did in the past.

“Negan,” she stopped him before he could tug at the material, having him looking to her. “I know I’m not what I used to be. I’m sure I was cuter when we were younger.”

“No,” Negan hushed her, shaking his head when he started dragging the material down her legs. Getting them from her feet, Negan dropped them beside the bed and gave her a weak smile. Caressing at her lower legs, Negan realized that she was starting to get nervous. Doing his best to calm her, he allowed his touch to raise higher up toward her thighs. Shifting his weight over her, Negan did his best to urge her legs apart. Lowering himself down, he started peppering kisses at the inside of her thigh. Lifting his eyes, he flashed another smile seeing that her pupils were dilated with lust for him. “You are perfect. You’ve always been perfect. Then. Now…”

Hooking his arms under her knees, he pulled her in closer to him allowing his kisses to grow nearer to her core. At first, it was just delicate kisses over her flesh with him still caressing over her thighs. In this position she could comfortably watch him when his tongue pressed out to drag a line down over the length of her sex. Involuntarily her hips arched up toward him and he hummed out. Each kiss over her body grew stronger with the flicks of his tongue following suit. When he started suckling at her flesh, it made her moan out. Grasping tightly to the comforter beneath her, she balled the material up and cooed. Everything felt different with Negan’s short beard against her flesh, but it was a feeling that she very much enjoyed. This was a strong contrast from what she was used to with Joel. Negan seemed so focused and delicate. Working her up to feeling good and Joel was rough and eager to get her body worked up immediately.

Lifting her head, she watched Negan as he pleasured her. It seemed like he was enjoying it with the faint moans vibrating against her flesh. Crying out his name, she felt the strong strokes of his tongue over her sensitive bundle of nerves before it was followed by a slurping sound. As Negan’s right hand found its way between her thighs, she mewled out when his fingers thrust back into her body. With his long slender digits pumping away inside of her damp heat and his mouth focusing on matching that pleasure she felt the room spinning around her.

Licking her lips, she muttered his name feeling Negan hitting that same spot that he had been doing before. Starting to shake against him had him humming out. A euphoric sensation started building at the pit of her stomach with the way he was pleasuring her.

“Negan,” she stammered his name with his moan following and his fingers pulling from her body. It had her squeezing so tightly to the comforter that her knuckles were changing color. At the rate her heart was pounding in her chest she knew that this orgasm was harder than the one she had at the restaurant. Instead of stopping, Negan just buried his head back between her thighs to continue pleasuring her and it had her rocking her hips against his movements. “Fuck Negan…”

“Just enjoy it,” Negan instructed slurring against her flesh going back to work. Dropping one of her hands down, she sank it into his hair and panted. It had been so long since someone focused on her like this and it was driving her mad with desire for Negan.

That was until she heard the sound of something that had even Negan lifting his head up from where he was between her thighs. Dragging his thumb over his bottom lip, Negan cleared his throat and turned to look at her, “Is someone here?”

“The house is just noisy,” she tried to insist only to hear footsteps coming up the stairs. Panicked, she started tugging at the comforters and sheets. Pushing at Negan’s head she had him crawling beneath the material resting his head against her lower abdomen. Just in time she managed to get the blankets to her shoulders when her door pushed open revealing Elizabeth at the door. “Elizabeth. What are you doing here?”

“Sorry mom, I just…” Elizabeth paused holding tightly to the door seeing that her mother looked different. “I was at my friend’s house, but there was a game that I wanted to grab for us to play. It’s in my room. I didn’t want you to think that someone was breaking in or anything.”

“Oh, okay,” Y/N didn’t know how to react. Truthfully? She was freaking the fuck out on the inside. This was never a place she wanted to find herself in around her children.

“Mom,” Elizabeth tipped her head to the side, her dark eyes narrowing. “Are you okay? You don’t look so good.”  

“I’m fine,” Y/N alerted her daughter desperately wanting her to leave the room. Discomfort flooded her veins knowing that underneath the blanket and sheet was a completely naked Negan. Hiding him was hard because Negan was a big guy, but she just hoped that Elizabeth didn’t catch on. “Have a good night honey.”

“What’s wrong with you?” Elizabeth was unsure of how to respond to the way her mother was acting. Right now Y/N wished that her daughter wasn’t so perceptive.

“Nothing is wrong. I’m just…really tired,” Y/N lied knowing that by the expression over her daughter’s face that Elizabeth was suspicious. “Just call me in the morning and tell me how everything was. Okay?”

“You have someone in there with you, don’t you?” Elizabeth stepped forward immediately making things all the more awkward. Negan buried his nose in against her abdomen trying to remain still, but Elizabeth wasn’t dumb. “I don’t understand. Who are you with? I know it’s not dad because I just saw him right before I came here.”

“Honey, this isn’t really the best time to be questioning things,” Y/N attempted to stop her daughter from the upcoming lecture that she knew was coming. Elizabeth’s eyes fell to the clothes that were at the center of the room and Y/N started to panic. “I’m sorry. Okay? I didn’t think you’d be home. And I just…”

“After the other night with the four of us as a family, you’re doing this?” Elizabeth snapped at her mother causing Y/N to tense up. “I thought we were working on becoming a family again. The four of us. Yet, you’re here sleeping with someone other than dad?”

“Can you give me a few minutes and then we can talk? Because this is starting to feel really inappropriate,” Y/N asked of her daughter who simply folder her arms out in front of her chest with her chocolate brown eyes giving Y/N what looked like a death glare. “I don’t feel like that’s fair Elizabeth. Your dad dated someone else for years and you didn’t act like this. Just because your dad is single right now doesn’t mean…”

“You’re not dad,” Elizabeth interrupted her mother and it had a warmth flooding throughout Y/N’s veins. It was both demeaning that her daughter was lecturing her about having a life outside of Joel and embarrassing that Negan was in here to hear it all. “I know how you’ve felt about dad for a very long time. After everything with dad trying, inviting you over to the event…you’re doing this to him? To us?”

“I’m not cheating on your father Elizabeth,” Y/N pled with her daughter not understanding why it was leading to this. “We’ve been divorced for three years and separated for four. Your father had plenty of time to make a move and he didn’t. We’re not together Elizabeth and me finding comfort with someone else isn’t me trying to hurt you. Or anyone for that matter.”

“Who is it?” Elizabeth seemed furious eyeballing the bed to look over the shape that was beneath the blankets. “Is it Uncle Tommy? He’s been acting really weird and it would explain why he is running away at all hours of the night.”

“I adopted your Uncle Tommy when I was eighteen. Do you know how weird that would be?” Y/N scoffed, pulling the comforter in closer to her body feeling even more uneasy with Elizabeth stepping toward the bed. “Please honey, just give me a minute to get dressed and come out to talk to you.”

“I’m not a baby mom. I’m seventeen. Come on Uncle Tommy,” Elizabeth demanded who she assumed to be with her mom to come out. “Show yourself.”

“It’s not your Uncle Tommy! And I don’t even understand why you would begin to think that I have anything going on with him,” Y/N was disgusted at the idea of just seeing Tommy in that way because to her he was almost like her own child.

“Who else do you know that’s a man,” Elizabeth was furious in the way that she was talking. “Tommy, show your face before I start hitting.”

“Please don’t start hitting,” a rumble of a voice muttered from beneath the blankets and it shocked Elizabeth who stumbled back realizing that the voice was in fact not Uncle Tommy. “I’ll show my face if you promise not to start hitting.”

Carefully adjusting his body, Negan pulled the blankets and the sheets down far enough to reveal his head and his shoulders to Y/N’s daughter after he crawled up beside Y/N on the bed. Negan’s hair was a mess with a flush of color in his face. Curling his fingers tighter around the comforter, Negan cleared his throat and nodded his head. Looking to Y/N, Negan knew that there was fear in her eyes when Elizabeth saw what she did.

“Hello,” Negan broke the silence feigning a smile, his dimples big when the color drained completely from Elizabeth’s face seeing her celebrity crush there before her in her mother’s bed. “It’s nice to meet you Elizabeth, I heard a lot about you. All good things. Your mother loves you very much.”

“You’re fucking Negan Smith? How is Negan Smith even here right now?” Elizabeth snapped noticing the lost expression flooding into her mother’s features. It made things weird because Elizabeth wasn’t even acknowledging what Negan had said to her. “I have to be dreaming. This can’t be real because there is no logical explanation that explains why Negan Smith is in your bedroom right now.”

“I can answer a few of those,” Negan somewhat waved his hand about drawing Elizabeth’s attention back to him. “We’re not necessarily…fucking.”

Negan looked to see that Y/N buried herself under the covers to hide her embarrassment from her daughter and it had her groaning out, “I’m in this bedroom because I came home to visit my mother for the holidays. I ran into your mother the other day and we agreed to have dinner. You’re not dreaming and I’m very sorry this is the way that we met. I wanted to meet you at some point soon, but this really wasn’t the way that I was expecting.”

“I don’t even know what to say,” Elizabeth was embarrassed with having her meltdown in front of the town celebrity who was attempting to be exceedingly kind to her. “You slept with Negan Smith knowing how I felt about things? Do you know how weird that’s going to be telling people considering all my friends know that I have the biggest crush on him? You never even acted like you felt a certain way toward him mom.”

“Again, I hate to speak for your mother,” Negan began, his hazel eyes empathetic drawing Elizabeth to look to him “But your mother and I dated long before her and your father did. Kind of. So I don’t think she did this to make you feel bad. It’s just we had something between us when we were younger. And she probably didn’t want to tell you about it because she was married to your father and didn’t want to make things weird. I’m also very honored that I’m your celebrity crush, but you are…kind of too young for me honey. And considering how I feel about your mother…”

“How do you feel about my mother?” Elizabeth blurt out and Negan’s hazel eyes got wide. Looking to Y/N who lowered the blankets slightly to him, Negan simply shrugged and cleared his throat.

“I don’t really know yet. I just know that I spent most of my early life in love with your mother. I went a lot of years without her in my life and now that I’m here for the holiday I’d like to spend as much time as I can with her,” Negan was honest with Elizabeth who seemed to be between the stages of shocked, embarrassed and angry all at the same time. “I’d also like to continue to be in your mother’s life somehow because I missed her.”

“How? You’re a famous baseball player,” Elizabeth reminded Negan who gave a simple nod and then tipped his head from side to side.

“Yes and no. I have one more season left,” Negan declared, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat. “I’m really sorry if finding us here like this upset you, but I promise you this wasn’t anything negative or of ill intent. I care about your mother and I’d like to be able to talk to you in better situations so we can get to know one another better.”

“Elizabeth!” someone was calling out from downstairs and Y/N assumed that it was her friend that she had come with. Hopefully that friend didn’t follow her upstairs.

“I’ll be right down,” Elizabeth called out, a rush of heat flooding into her tanned flesh. It looked like there was so much she wanted to say but didn’t know what to say. Swallowing down hard, Elizabeth shrugged her shoulders and took a step back. “Whatever this is, I’ll come back tomorrow and we can talk about it. Preferably with you two dressed.”

“I don’t know if he will still be here tomorrow morning,” Y/N reasoned with her daughter, but Negan held his hand out and nodded.

“I’ll stay,” Negan agreed to the talk that Elizabeth asked for. “We can talk about whatever you want tomorrow. I promise.”

“Yeah,” Elizabeth looked between both her mother and Negan, her eyes forcing themselves to look down at the ground. “I’m sorry for barging in. If I would have known you were with someone, I would have never done that.”

And with that, Elizabeth backstepped out of the bedroom and quickly took off down the stairs. When they heard the door open and shut, Y/N dropped her head back. An overwhelmed sound followed and she looked to Negan with pure embarrassment flooding her features.

“I am so sorry,” she apologized to Negan who laid in beside her looking up at the ceiling. “That had to be so weird and I would completely understand if you wanted to leave right now. I will come up with a good excuse for things tomorrow and…”

“I don’t want to leave,” Negan interrupted her, the lines in his forehead growing as he spoke. “Unless you want me to leave?”

“God no,” she shook her head, sliding in beside Negan with their heads touching. Her breathing was loud and she thought about the things that her daughter said. “Am I a bad mom for not telling her about us when we were younger?”

“Why would that make you a bad mom?” Negan’s nose wrinkled. “Mothers and fathers don’t tell their children about the people that they screwed around with before…or after their parents. She’ll be jealous and maybe embarrassed for a while, but she will understand it eventually.”

“You didn’t sign up for this,” she pointed out to Negan who simply shrugged. This was the last way she would have liked Elizabeth and Negan to meet.

“Life is always throwing surprises at you,” Negan suggested reaching for her to allow her to rest her head over the center of his chest to get comfortable. “I can tell that she’s daddy’s little girl by the way that she talks.”

“Yeah. The children both love him,” she stated with a long sigh cuddling her face in against Negan’s chest. “And I don’t mind that they love him. It’s better that they do. Joel is a good father. He always was. He loved them a lot. I let them have that. They just got really mad at me when we got separated. When Joel started dating someone they didn’t put up much of a fight. Kind of just dealt with it. Yet the moment I might be with someone else…”

“Explosion of emotions,” Negan teased releasing a long exhale with his fingers caressing over her shoulders. “Who was Joel dating?”

“Tess Servopoulos,” she stated hearing Negan choke out at her answer. “You remember her?”

“Scary Tess?” Negan’s eyebrows were arched as he looked toward Y/N. “Ball busting Tess? The girl that was a year or two older than us that had no problem kicking a guy in the balls if he looked at her the wrong way?”

“Might have been before my time,” she was amused at Negan’s reaction to who Joel was dating. “You didn’t like her?”

“I never pissed her off, so she was fine with me,” Negan informed her with a dramatic expression and he shook his head. “Joel still has his balls after they broke up? That woman had some serious rage issues when we were younger. If I was putting together a hit team, I think I would have gotten her on my team.”

“She didn’t seem that bad,” Y/N laughed at how dramatic Negan was being with the way he was talking. “Joel really liked her. At least I thought they did when they were together.”

“That is so hard to picture because Joel hated her when we were in high school,” Negan thought back realizing that Y/N was younger than him and Joel. “Fuck. I can’t believe that Joel dated scary Tess. I almost want to ask him about it.”

“I’m going to be getting an earful eventually about what Elizabeth saw here tonight from him. So maybe if you are still around you can talk to him then,” she was being sarcastic as her fingers played with the dark curls of hair over Negan’s chest. “If I were you, I’d probably run right now. I have so much baggage and you’ve already seen parts of it.”

“I like your parts,” Negan spoke softly, letting out a boisterous laugh when she poked him in the side. “But it’s a good thing you aren’t me because I don’t wanna run away. I’m willing to deal with what I have to in order to be around you again.”

“You are something else,” she found herself in awe of him, bracing her hand over his chest so she could balance herself enough to lean in over Negan to meet him in a lingering kiss between the two of them. “Well now that the moment we were building up to is over, I have some pie that I made earlier. Would you like to have some?”

“I was just eating some pie,” Negan snickered only to have her playfully hit him in the stomach again. His raspy laugh grew louder this time and he shook his head. “Yes, I would love some of the pie that you made.”

Carefully getting up from the bed, Negan watched her head over toward her dresser to grab a t-shirt and some pajama pants. Pulling on his black boxer briefs, Negan then reached for his dress shirt to pull it over his arms. Leaving it unbuttoned, he stopped at the bottom of the bed hearing her huff when she turned to face him.

“It’s not fair, how are you still so fucking hot like that?” she questioned getting another laugh from Negan who reached for her to wrap her up in his arms. “It’s like, you’re even more fuckable like that.”

“That’s what I like to hear,” Negan hummed kissing her multiple times. Leaning back, his eyes locked with hers and he made an overwhelmed expression. “I think your daughter walking in on us might have been worse than my father walking in on us that one time. I was scared she was about to start beating the shit outta me.”

“I could honestly see it,” she agreed with Negan, patting him at the center of his chest. Leading him down to the kitchen, she watched as he walked over toward the corner of the cabinets where Joel had been earlier bracing his hands on the counter. “What kind of pie would you like? I have eggnog pumpkin, pecan, chocolate silk and cinnamon apple.”

“Why don’t you get a piece of each and we will share them all?” Negan suggested with her giving him an impressed expression. Doing what he asked, she warmed the ones that were necessary and laid them out across the island in her kitchen. Grabbing both of them some milk and forks, she moved in beside Negan and saw him eyeing over the pies. “I love that you still bake. We started that together.”

“I know,” she saw him take some of the cinnamon apple pie, humming out when he swallowed it down and gave a thumbs up. “Do you still bake?”

“Fuck yeah I do. I’m an amazing cook and baker,” Negan didn’t shy from showing off when he went for the eggnog pumpkin pie next. “We should bake something together. The two of us. Not that you need any more sweets with all that you have, but I think that would be fun.”

“If you want to,” she wasn’t going to deny him the opportunity to cook something with her. She liked spending time with him and she wasn’t ready to stop yet. Grabbing some of the pumpkin for herself, she saw Negan take a bite of the pecan. “What do you like best so far?”

Considering his answer, Negan went for a larger bite of the chocolate silk. Holding it up to her lips, he allowed her to take the bite. A surprised sound fell from her lips when Negan’s lips covered hers, his tongue forcefully brushing out against hers.

“Wow,” she snickered watching him wipe his thumb across his bottom lip to collect the remainder of the pie from his lips. “That was different.”

“Chocolate silk,” Negan pointed to the piece of pie that was before her and it had her face flushing over with warmth. Nudging her playfully with his hip, Negan gave her a wink and then went for another bite of the chocolate silk. “You’re cute. You know that?”

“It’s been a long time since someone called me cute,” she retorted with Negan taking a sip of his milk. “But thank you. You’re pretty cute too.”

“I know,” Negan snorted after it made her laugh. Things were much more relaxed with Negan than she was used to. Here he was standing almost completely shirtless at the center of her kitchen in his boxer briefs and they were just eating sweets together. “This has been an interesting night. It went a way I didn’t think it would, but I’ve enjoyed it.”

“I feel like you’re just trying to be nice,” she suggested assuming things had to be awkward from the start. “You started the night off with my angry ex-husband and then ended it with my daughter. If anything, this night has been awkward at best.”

“I can handle Joel. I always could. And I could also handle your daughter who has a crush on me,” Negan stressed, placing his hand in over the center of his chest after setting his milk back down on the counter. “I have had lots of fun tonight. And not just because we fucked around. The night is still young though and I did promise your daughter that I would be here tomorrow. So, we have a lot of the night left together.”

“I’m just waiting for my son to make an appearance now,” she joked, poking at the pie that was in front of her.

“And if that happens, I’ll happily meet your son,” Negan snickered, moving forward to nuzzle his nose in against the side of her neck before playfully pressing kisses against her flesh. “I like kids. I always wanted kids. Life just didn’t work out for me the way I planned.”

Turning toward Negan after setting her fork down, she felt his hands settling in over her hips. Stroking her fingers over his exposed chest had her questioning things. This was all really too good to be true. Everything just felt…relaxed and nice. It wasn’t something that she was used to. At least not for a very long time.

“Let’s clean this up and make some cupcakes?” Negan suggested with a huff, tipping down to deposit another kiss over her forehead. Sliding his hands up her body, he cupped her face in his rough palms and led her to stare into his hazel eyes. “I need you to loosen up and relax. We’re here. I’m happy to be here. So let’s keep taking a trip down memory fucking lane. Let’s bake some cupcakes. And talk.”

“If that’s what you want to do,” she wasn’t going to fight him on this whole thing. Spending time with him sounded nice. It was the most laid back things had been in her life for a long time. And one thing she wasn’t feeling was lonely. Which was a nice thing. After giving her a wink, Negan collected the dishes that they had and headed over toward the sink. Without having to be asked, Negan was doing the dishes. Cleaning them and then putting them into the dishwasher. That alone was a huge difference between Negan and Joel. In all her years being with Joel, Joel was never the type to immediately clean up and if he did the dishes, it was only because she nagged him long enough to do it. “What kind of cupcakes do you want?”

“You have me in a chocolate mood,” Negan responded with a pondering expression when he looked over his shoulder at her. Turning on his heel, he braced his hands against the counter stretching out his lengthy abdomen leaving her a nice view of the v-line that led to the top of his boxer briefs. “Do you have candy canes?”

“Of course,” she moved around the kitchen to pull out the box of candy canes that she had bought not long before. Extending his hand out, Negan grabbed the box and gave her a thumbs up. “Chocolate cupcakes with a peppermint frosting?”

“Right up my alley,” Negan gave her a wink, setting the box down. Amusement flooded her veins seeing Negan opening the cabinets to see what was where. Instead of just asking, he was getting comfortable with her kitchen and it charmed her. As he set out what they needed with utensils and bowls, she went for the ingredients that they would need from the pantry and refrigerator. “What’s this?”

“What’s what?” she looked over her shoulder to see that Negan was looking down at the gingerbread family that she had done with Joel and the children. “Oh, we did that the other day when I made fresh gingerbread cookies. Elizabeth wanted us to keep it. So it’s being displayed in the kitchen.”

“The sad thing is that I immediately knew this was Joel. His style hasn’t changed much since high school,” Negan snickered, waving his finger about at the gingerbread cookie that Joel had made. Stealing one final glance, Negan went back to preparing things. When they both returned to the island in her kitchen, she gave him a once over and smirked. “What?”

“I’m just not used to this whole thing. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to do this with someone,” she mused working with Negan to grab what they would need for the cupcakes first. Heading over to the stove, she turned it on and came back to see Negan was already preparing the ingredients. “My children like to help with the decorating, but never the baking process. Well, they did when they were children. But that’s it really.”

“Tell me about them,” Negan directed her to talk about her family and he saw her take a moment to think about things.

“Well, you met Elizabeth tonight. Daddy’s little girl to the core. Joel has called her Ellie her whole life, but she has gotten to the age where she wants to be called Liz. She plays softball at her school. She’s got a hell of a throw on her. She likes the girly things, but she’s also into sports and video games,” she rambled on about her daughter and Negan would glance over at her every so often to show that he was listening while they worked together. “She’s also incredibly smart. Way smarter than me and her father ever were. I see her going places. I worry sometimes about her since she’s so close to the age I was when I got pregnant, but she’s really not like that. She has crushes, but no boyfriend or anything. I think her future means more to her. And she’s a really good sister to her little brother. Peter is a typical teenage boy. Loves video games, sports, being silly. He plays baseball too. I think it’s more so to get his father’s attention, but he’s trying. And he’s attempting to learn the guitar too like Joel.”

“So Ellie is Joel’s favorite,” Negan commented which had her shaking her head. “It sounds like it.”

“I don’t know if she’s Joel’s favorite. I think she just has a strong bond with him since she was his first,” she thought aloud hating to think that Joel had a favorite. “Peter is just desperate for something to cling onto with his dad. We split when Peter was nine and he misses the family aspect of things. Joel is always so busy with things that Peter doesn’t really get the attention that he wants.”

“And why did the two of you get divorced?” Negan was curious throwing caution to the wind since she might get upset with that question. “You don’t have to answer that question.”

“Uh, you’re fine,” she felt heat flooding into her face. There was the thought that she shouldn’t focus so much on Joel, but Negan seemed to be genuinely curious. “I’d love to blame one thing, but I don’t know if I can. Joel’s parents died right after graduation for him. Immediately Tommy was the thing that he worried about. He made the decision to stay home and take care of Tommy instead of letting him go into foster care. Which meant he had to give up his full ride to school on that scholarship. It meant he gave up focusing on football and music. Which you know how much those two things meant to him.”

“I think everyone did,” Negan agreed with her from what he remembered when they were younger. Joel was so good at football that many of the people in town thought he would become a big football player. “I think he always planned to get famous with football so he could become a singer. Which I think was his real passion. Unless I was wrong.”

“I think he loved them both,” Y/N didn’t know if he loved one or the other more. The music just stuck with him more. “I think he was happy he had two things he was good at. That way he always had a fallback.”

Talking about Joel would have probably pissed Joel off. Especially since he seemed so irritated about her spending time with Negan.

“Joel adopted Tommy. Took on his father’s company and started working immediately. And then Elizabeth happened. It wasn’t on purpose. I was taking the pill, but it just happened. My parents wanted me to get an abortion because they expected more from me, but I couldn’t. They kicked me out and wanted nothing to do with me. So that was another person that Joel had to take into his home. I think he figured once Tommy was eighteen, he would be able to have the chance to finally make something of himself. I just don’t think he thought he would be a father by then. Everything was really good. I adopted Tommy too. We were a family. It was rough, but we were doing it. By the time Tommy turned eighteen, I was pregnant with Peter and I think life just got so busy. Tommy wanted to go off into the army because he wanted to change the world. It was a lot of stress. Joel tried to go to a community college, but it just didn’t work. So he kept being a contractor running his father’s business.”

Biting down on her bottom lip, she paused and noticed that Negan looked to her wondering if she was okay, “I think I was just the only one that realized life wasn’t going to be what I wanted it to be. I gave up the things I wanted, he did the same, but I adjusted to it and he didn’t. I got a degree, accepted the first job that would take me. Money was money. Joel was miserable. He knew what he was capable of having and life didn’t allow him that. So we fought. A lot. I was happy. He wasn’t in the last few years. And it wore pretty heavy on me. I think the more he let it linger, the more he realized what he lost. I think he was really happy for a while. It’s just toward the end of our marriage that he started showing signs of being miserable. At least, I think that’s what it was.”

“You had big dreams too though,” Negan reminded her of what she wanted when she was younger noticing that she didn’t seem to focus on herself as much as she did Joel. “You wanted to travel. I remember you always had your camera out and you wanted to be a journalist. More than anything you wanted out of here. So if anyone understood what he was going through, it was you.”

“I suppose so,” she didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t wrong. More than anything she dreamt of getting away from here when she was younger. She wanted to be more than what she was, but once she was a mother she had to change her way of thinking. “Joel was a really good father throughout though. He kept that he was miserable from the children really good.”

“Hmm…” Negan breathed out loudly, reaching for the mixer once they had put all the ingredients together to make the chocolate cupcakes. “I take it sex wasn’t very good with Joel?”

“Negan,” she laughed with him tipping his head to the side.

“I’m just saying. You seemed really shocked by the way I could make you orgasm tonight which tells me that you’ve never orgasmed like that before,” Negan recalled back to the two previous moments earlier tonight. “It’s okay if Joel wasn’t good at sex.”

“Joel was good at sex,” she corrected Negan who smirked and shrugged his shoulders. “The orgasms were good, but that…”

“You didn’t know you were a squirter,” Negan blurt out having her chuckle at his outwardness. “It takes time and dedication. Focus to make a girl squirt and not all of them do. Some of them are scared to do it because they think it’s something bad, but it’s not.”

“I can see the ego never left you,” she smacked Negan on the ass when he turned on the mixer. Moving around him, she got what they needed for the frosting and started to prepare what she could now. Once he was done, Negan helped her lay out the cupcake wrappers before she poured in the mixture. “What about your life? You’ve gotten to see the world. What was it like? As exciting as we pictured when we were kids?”

“It depends,” Negan answered with a sigh. “If Lucille was with me, it was nice. If I was alone, it was lonely. And it’s not really like I could enjoy it. I was working when I was travelling. So a lot of the world that I saw was hotels and flying.”

“Yeah, but I saw from the stuff Elizabeth would pull up that you got that car that you dreamt of having since we were kids. Lots of cars. A big house and everything you could ever dream of,” she elbowed him playfully thinking that those were things he would be proud of. Instead, Negan swallowed hard and looked down at her with sadness in his eyes. “All the money in the world can’t be too bad.”

“All the money in the world and I still couldn’t save my wife from dying of cancer,” Negan countered having the color drain from her face realizing what she said was incredibly awful when he put it that way. “I’m not trying to be a dick with that answer. I’m sorry if it came out that way, I just…what good is money if you lose the love of your life anyways? I have all the money I could ever want, but no one to spend it with. You can’t imagine the kind of loneliness…” Negan paused, his thick eyebrows furrowing with a shake of his head. “Never mind. You understand the loneliness just fine. Just a different kind. I’m sorry for that.”

“Broken recognizes broken I guess,” she breathed out, grabbing the cupcakes to put them in the oven. Setting the timer, she turned to him and could see that he was going through so many emotions just considering what to say next. “I’m sorry I said that Negan. It’s just when you’re one of the little people, the idea of having lots of money and getting to do anything sounds really good.”

“I understand that. I’m sorry,” Negan cleared his throat and nodded his head. His lips parted and he shrugged his shoulders. “Just from where I’m standing, I think Joel is a moron. Because more than anything, Lucille and I would have loved to have children. We tried, but she was sick for a long time. And we never had any. So it’s crazy to me. I would have loved having his life. He has everything I don’t.”

“Had. Not has,” she corrected his statement feeling a sense of sadness behind it. “I wasn’t what he wanted.”

“He’s an idiot,” Negan noted, stepping forward to palm in over the side of her face. “He had everything I wanted when I was younger and he let it slip through his fingers.”

A tremoring exhale fell from her lips when Negan lowered down again to bring their lips together in what was a fervent kiss. His thumb swept over her jawline when they parted and he looked to the timer that she had set.

“Do you still have a camera?” Negan’s question surprised her and made her smile. “You do, don’t you?”

“I have one. It’s not the best considering my situation, but I take it with me to special events with the children. I just haven’t really played with it too much,” she responded with a shrug of her shoulders knowing that she used to carry a camera with her everywhere. “Why?”

“Go get it,” Negan instructed, moving over toward the other bowl that he had grabbed. “I’ll start the frosting. You go get the camera and come back down.”

“Fine,” she did as he told her, heading up the stairs and leaving him alone in the kitchen. Going to her room in search of her camera, she hoped that it was charged. When she found her camera bag, she pulled out the camera and headed downstairs with it. Turning it on, she was thankful when she saw that there was power to it and that she had a memory card. “Here it is.”

“Not too shabby,” Negan reached out for the camera to look it over. Adjusting a few things, Negan lifted the camera and took a photo of her causing her to groan out. “What?”

“I look like shit,” she frowned and he immediately shook his head. It felt strange having Negan taking photos of her. “I do.”

“You could never look like shit,” Negan avowed with a huff, allowing her to take the camera away from him. Wrinkling his nose, Negan gave a wink before going back to work on the frosting. Hearing the sound of the camera made him smile. Stealing a quick look at her, he could tell that she seemed happy while she started snapping photos of him. Stopping what he was doing, he turned toward her and rubbed his hands together. “I want you to start using that again. Whenever you can, take that camera out and take photos. That was the thing that made you so happy when we were younger. Writing and taking photos. Start doing the things that make you happy.”

“Smile for me,” she ordered of him, lifting her camera up. Expectantly waiting for him Negan flashed her one of the biggest, cheesiest smiles that he could give. Taking the photo had her giggling, but she immediately shook her head afterwards. “A real smile.”

“What? That wasn’t real enough for you,” Negan snickered, stepping forward to loosely hook his arm around her waist to pull her in against him. “I thought you liked me as I was. Cute. Charming. Silly. That was a genuine smile.”

“You’re right, you are cute all the time,” she agreed with him, keeping a tight hold of her camera in one hand. With the other she dragged her thumb across Negan’s bottom lip. Kissing at the pad of her finger had her breathing loudly. “I think you know what your smile is capable of though.”

“I don’t think you know what you’re capable of,” Negan slurred with a long sigh, his eyes narrowing when he stepped back. Doing as she asked of him originally, he allowed her to take a photo, but then he got serious. And even though he wasn’t smiling, she seemed to enjoy getting a few close up photos of him. Resting at the corner of the kitchen cabinets, Negan stretched his hands out and placed them on the counter. Modeling for her was no big deal. He was used to people taking photos of him. “I know you had to change your life and alter what your childhood dreams were. But that didn’t mean you had to give up the things that made you happy. You should have kept writing and taking photos.”

“I wish it was that easy,” she stammered, lowering the camera down. Sure, it sounded good, but life never really gave her that chance.

“It is that easy,” Negan contended, biting down on his bottom lip. The lines in his forehead grew with him shaking his head. “Someone in your life should have been here telling you all along that you needed to have things that made you happy. They should have been cheering you on to do these things. Telling you to make time for yourself as well as others.”

“You know,” she began, stuttering back on her words when she lowered the camera down completely. Guilt started eating away at her with a lump growing in her throat. “You really shouldn’t be as nice to me as you are being Negan. I don’t deserve it. You know that, right?”

“Says who?” Negan tipped his head to the side, waiting on her answer.

“You don’t have to keep acting like this. I fucked up when I did what I did. I ruined our friendship all those years ago. I broke your heart,” she recollected provoking a long sigh from him. Setting her camera aside, she realized her thoughts were eating away at her. After everything he said to her at the sports bar, she couldn’t help but think she was a piece of shit for how things went down. “You shouldn’t be this good to me with what I did to you.”

“Apparently I missed the rulebook I guess,” Negan shrugged, pushing forward to move before her. Looking up at him with big eyes, she felt sad. Sad to know that he carried all those negative and hurt feelings with him for so long. Shuddering, she looked down to see that Negan’s fingers were hooking with hers when he reached out for them. “Here’s the thing. You feel fucking guilty. And I understand that. But I wouldn’t give up the life that I was given with Lucille. I loved her, very fucking much.”

“I know,” she breathed, squeezing her fingers firmly around his. Closing the distance between them, Negan wanted her to keep her eyes on his.

“You can’t blame yourself for something that was meant to happen. I loved my wife. I wish I could have had more time with her, but the world didn’t allow me that. And I know that you would never give up the life that you had with your children,” Negan emphasized his words showing her that he understood that their lives went in different ways. “What was meant to happen, did. I can’t be mad at that.”

“But I should have talked to you. You were the biggest part of my life and I just…” she started, but Negan hushed her, lowering his head down to press his forehead against hers.

“Listen. I don’t care about the past. We both made mistakes,” Negan admitted, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat. “I just know how miserable I was without you in my life. I know I should have been here for you every step of the way. You were part of what made me whole. Part of what made me, me. What happened between us was just as much my fault as it was yours. But what I know? I don’t want to lose you from my life again.”

Everything he said took her breath away. In only a few hours, it felt like they were back to what they were when they were younger. And she still didn’t think she deserved that, but Negan didn’t seem to care. Hovering his lips over hers, it felt like he was about to kiss her again but was interrupted by the sound of the timer going off for the cupcakes.

“Fuck,” Negan hummed, looking toward the stove. Motioning him to wait, she grabbed something to get the cupcakes out of the oven. Setting them out to cool, she turned the oven off and returned back to Negan.

Grabbing the sides of his opened button down, she tugged slightly at them getting a smile over his handsome lips. And there were those gorgeous dimples that got her every time. Using her strength, she lowered him down to her to bring his lips to hers. Shivers ran down her spine with Negan laughing against her lips. Maybe she should have stopped things. Hell, this was just their first day back to spending time together, but it didn’t matter. Right now, everything felt right in the world with him kissing her. It had been a long time since she felt this good.

“Follow me,” Negan instructed, moving around her keeping his fingers linked with hers. Heading for the stairs had a breath catching in her throat.

“What about the cupcakes?” she knew that they were right in the middle of making them. Her heart skipped a beat when Negan looked back at her with an amused smirk.

 “They need time to cool anyways,” Negan hushed her taking her into her bedroom. Closing the door, Negan locked it behind him this time while she stood waiting. Turning on his heel, Negan started to shimmy out of the shirt that he was wearing. “Just so no one can surprise us this time.”

Breathing loudly, she watched as the material dropped to Negan’s wrists. Unhurriedly, he got the shirt off and dropped it to the ground. Stepping forward, Negan reached for the bottom of the t-shirt she was wearing. Noticing the way she grew nervous made him smile.

“Everything will be okay,” Negan promised her, starting to lift the material. Once it got right under her breasts, she shakily lifted her arms to let him pull it from her. Dropping her t-shirt beside them on the floor, Negan dragged his tongue out across his bottom lip. Stealing another glance at her naked form took his breath away. “I think you’re perfect.”

Words were hard to form. The warmth of Negan’s fingertips started at her lower abdomen. His caress was slow, building up the sensation as they traced up over her ribs. Just the way Negan looked at her made her feel like the only person in the world. It was obvious what he was doing to her. There was no hiding it from him.

“Now you’re the one shaking,” Negan pointed out, closing the distance between them. Warmth radiated from his body before hers. Curling his arm around her, Negan’s fingers settled at the small of her back tracing over her skin. With how close they were she felt the curls of hair over his chest tickling at her flesh.

Caressing up over her back, between her shoulders and down again, Negan let his fingers hook into her panties. Pushing them down, he let them drop to her ankles. Covering her bottom with the warmth of his hands, he tested the flesh in his palms and hummed out. It had her eyelashes fluttering to a close, her lips parting and a soft sight escaped them.

Using his strength, Negan picked her up in his arms and carried her over toward the center of the bed. Laying her down, he was careful in the way he moved her. Watching his every movement, her pupils dilated with desire with him pushing his fingers into the hemline of his boxer briefs. Getting the material down his body had her lips parting. Even though she knew his body from when they were younger, it was so much different now. Crawling in over her, Negan heard the nervous sound that fell from her parted lips.

“You don’t have to be nervous with me,” Negan assured her, resting himself comfortably between her thighs. Tracing his rough fingertips over her shoulders had a smile tugging at his handsome features. Following his finger’s movements, Negan deposited soft, gentle kisses over her shoulder toward her collar bone. The sound of her breathing grew louder with his kisses sliding in over her neck and then over her jawline. Right now his aim was to make her feel comfortable. Meeting her bottom lip, Negan pressed delicate kisses over it. It had her eyes slamming shut with a whimper falling from her throat. Bracing himself on his arms as they rest at her sides, Negan’s kisses were passionate and focused. Meticulous in the way he was comforting her. “I would never hurt you.”

“Negan,” she pressed her hand in over the center of his chest suddenly feeling very self-conscious about herself. Maybe she shouldn’t have been so honest, but she felt like this needed to be put out there. “I’ve only been with Joel. I might not be any good at this because he’s the only man I’ve been with.”

“That’s perfectly fine,” he interrupted with another charming smile, trying to calm her instead of having her panic. “I don’t care how many people you’ve been with. I know how I feel about you. All I need to know is that you want this.”

“I do,” she whispered without second guessing things. More than anything she knew in that moment that she wanted to be with him. “I just don’t want to disappoint you.”

“Nothing with you could disappoint me,” Negan professed, once again taking her breath away. Just with his words alone he had her hooked. Starting to press kisses over her jawline, Negan knew that he wanted to focus on her. Relax her enough so she could stop worrying about things. Gradually his kisses led to her lips. Each caress of his lips over hers was filled with so much passion behind it that it had her pulse leaping in her throat. Soft bucking motions of his hips against hers had her tremoring beneath him. “I’ve wanted this for as long as I can remember.”

Stroking her hand down over the side of Negan’s face had his long eyelashes fluttering to a close. Just having her touch him with that tenderness could affect him that much. Nibbling at her bottom lip, Negan balanced his weight on his left arm. Dropping his right hand, he palmed in over her warmth triggering a moan to fall from her. Caressing at her body, Negan wanted to make sure that she was still okay with this before reaching between them.

Whimpering out, she felt the tip of his manhood at her entrance. Instead of rushing it, Negan got comfortable again over her. Hooking his fingers with hers, Negan pressed her left hand down against the bed. Locking their eyes, he wanted to watch everything when he pushed his hips forward. Tipping her head back, she purred out but didn’t close her eyes. She wanted to be connected with Negan in this moment. The expression he gave her as he slowly sank into her was unlike anything she had seen from him. They both moaned in unison with just that small amount of him entering her. Bracing himself, Negan knew that he was going to be a mess if he didn’t hold himself together.

Allowing her to get comfortable, Negan curled his hands under her shoulders bringing them closer. Starting to kiss her as he began to roll his hips, Negan took his time with her. Not wanting to rush this. This was a moment he waited most of his life for. He wanted it to last. He wanted to remember it. The way she looked. The way she felt. How she panted his name softly with every move he made.

This was all very romantic. Something she wouldn’t have imagined with Negan’s personality or the kind of man that he was, but she liked it. It was close contact. His chest pressed against hers. The base of his erection grinding against her clitoris adding to the friction of his thrusts. It was a full, stretching sensation that she enjoyed very much. Sinking her fingers into his damp hair, she loved the way he praised her and said exactly what she wanted to hear in a moment of being made love to.

Kissing him took away all the worries and the fears she had in that moment. What he was doing not only made her body feel good, but it made her mind feel that way too. Scratching lightly over his shoulders and down his back led to her fingers squeezing at his bottom. Having the muscles flexing and relaxing beneath her touch with every roll forward of his hips turned her on more than it should of.

“This is everything I’ve wanted for so fucking long,” Negan whispered, his lips hovering over hers. Muted moans were escaping him causing her to tremor beneath him. There was a fire building up inside of her with his steady movements. “You are so beautiful.”

Crying out, she kissed at Negan’s collarbone, nipping faintly at the skin with her hips arching up toward him. It surprised her how easily her body was reacting to this. Everything felt so good. Even before he started this she was sensitive from their earlier moments, so when her first orgasm hit her it didn’t surprise her how much it affected her body. Burying his head against the side of her neck, Negan moaned enjoying the way that she felt. Pressing her hand to his lower abdomen had him waiting for her, his breathing uneven.

“Are you okay?” Negan confirmed with her when she opened her eyes and caressed her palms up his long abdomen toward his chest.

“More than okay,” she alerted him, getting a weak smile from him. Every part of her was enjoying this. It was both physically and mentally rewarding.

Rolling onto his side, Negan brought her with him hooking her leg over his hip. Having him spooning her like this was so much more intimate than she thought tonight would be but she wasn’t complaining. This way she could kiss him and focus on him. Touch him and cherish the moment.

This time she reached between them to grab his rigid length in her grasp. Lifting her hips in closer to his, she led his body to hers. Sinking her hips down had her warmth taking him in. His lips parted, his hazel eyes dropping to look down to watch their bodies connecting.

Thrust after thrust felt incredible. Their breathing matched each other. Their hands caressing and touching each other’s bodies. This was about learning each other all over again. This time more than they had when they were younger.

“Negan,” she purred his name, pressing her forehead to his. Muted moans vibrated against her lips. It was a thrilling sensation with his fingers digging into her hips helping their movements. Kisses were pressed against her lips while Negan praised her again and again. It was everything someone would want for their first time with someone.

Pushing her hand slightly into Negan’s chest had him rolling onto his back with the pressure. With his body pulling from hers, it had her whimpering out with the aching emptiness that followed. Licking his lips, Negan watched her close as she crawled in over him. First her hands started at his hips, caressing up over them toward the center of his chest.

“You have no idea how many nights I dreamt about this when we were younger,” Negan slurred, wincing when her warmth hovered over his aching erection. “I feel like a teenage boy all over again.”

“Everything about you is perfect,” she assured him, lowering in closer to him with her mouth just hanging in over his. Leading his hand between them, she helped him lead his cock back to her body. Lowering her hips down had her sinking down over his length. Clutching tightly to Negan, her eyes slammed close and she tremored with the moan that followed from him. Pulling her hips forward and then dropping them back again had her cries growing louder and more frequent. More than anything she wanted this close contact with him. Negan’s mouth was peppering her neck with kisses, his hands caressing her body in awe. It was obvious that Negan cherished her body and it made her feel good in so many ways.

“Fuck,” Negan lifted his head watching her movements over him with the small amount of room that was left between their bodies.

“You feel so good inside of me,” she purred against his lips having him moan. Unlike Joel, Negan was a very verbal lover. His moans could be heard, he praised her with everything that she did. His hands caressed at her sides, over her bottom and up her back.

Hovering her lips over his, she enjoyed taking in the facial expressions he was making while she worked her hips over his length. Everything about this made her feel good and it wasn’t just about the sex. It was feeling seen. Something she hadn’t felt in a long time.

Grunting out, Negan pulled himself up into a seated position, wrapping his arms around her waist to help bring her hips over him. His mouth pressed kisses at her jawline, nipping slightly at her skin. Moaning out, Negan enjoyed how her nails bit at his back not trying to hurt him, but to show how much she enjoyed what was happening.

“I’m going to come,” his groan vibrated against her lips leading her to use the strength she had to start riding him harder.

There was something in the way that Negan tipped his head back to look at her that absolutely took her breath away. Palming in over the side of her face, Negan brought her to kiss him. Her body was tremoring over him with her leading herself to another orgasm. Crying out against his lips, she felt him tensing beneath her, his moans letting her know his orgasm was approaching. Hearing Negan slur out her name had her eyes slamming shut. Winces escaped his throat with the throbbing of his cock inside of her, the twitching alerting her that his release followed soon after. Their movements continued through his orgasm, their eyes locked. Her body was weak, aching in the best of ways. By the grumble of his raspy moan and his head falling in against the side of her neck she knew that she had milked him completely of his orgasm. In his arms she stayed, liking the way it felt with Negan pressing kisses at the side of her neck. Cuddling her head in against his shoulder, she wrapped her arms tighter around him with their breathing still loud and uneven.

“You were worth every minute of the wait it took for us to get here,” Negan hummed, his head tipping back while she stroked her fingers through his damp, dark hair. It made her smile and they kissed a few times.

“That was a lot of minutes,” she pointed out tipping her head back to stare down at Negan who shook his head and smiled. “I’m not sure I was worth that.”

“You were,” Negan assured her, nipping at her bottom lip and dragging his tongue faintly against her flesh. “You’re perfect.”

Perfect was not something she would have used to describe herself, but she liked hearing it. For a while they laid in bed with her tracing out shapes over his chest and lower abdomen. Talking about things they still hadn’t caught up on. Something inside of her reminded her that so many people would have killed to be in the position she was in. Laying in the arms of Negan Smith. The big-time baseball player that so many people knew. But to her? This was the man that was her childhood best friend. The man that saw all of her and still remembered the little details. Things that people in her life now didn’t even know.

Everything about this was flawless. And she knew that. Negan made love to her. He made her feel special. And this was the most comfortable she had been with anyone in a very long time. The only problem was knowing that she was having these feelings about Negan while still having the feelings that she did for Joel. Then again, she felt pretty crazy thinking about Joel in a moment like this. Joel and Negan were so vastly different. Both perfect in their own ways. But she shouldn’t have been thinking about Joel right now. Yet, she couldn’t stop herself from making comparisons between the two and that worried her.

----

Tags: @chainsawsangel @fancypeacepersona @violent-darkness @negansbestie @elegantfanficluv

@sanctuaryforthelost @dead-of-niight @dilfsandmartinis

[grandmother-goblin]

Taash: Hey, Neve. Let me know if you need help on ladders. Neve: Ladders? Taash: Your leg... thing? One of the Lords. Benst. He lost a hand. Climbing ladders hurt his shoulder after. Taash: He told us eventually. Then we helped him on the ladders. Taash: Your foot's got a hook shape. It might get caught. Neve: My work leads strange places. If ladders had my number, I'd be out by now. But thanks for asking. Neve: Although, your horns have a hook shape. You worry about them getting caught? Taash: Shit. I do now.

Follow-up

Taash: Hey. Benst can help if you ever need someone on locks. Taash: I'll ask him if you want. He likes me. Neve: Sure he does. You're not bad to work with. Taash: I'm not? Neve: When you lose a limb, you have a metal leg or a hook for a hand, some things get harder. Neve: But you ask for help with one thing, and people think you can't do anything. Taash: That's vashedan. No one can go toe-to-toe with you in magic. Neve: Thanks for noticing. Not everyone does. Taash: Anyway. Benst doesn't have a hook. He's got a set of lock picks. Neve: (Chuckles) No wonder ladders give him trouble.

[cyberbun]

edit: THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! WE GOT TO THE GOAL IN LESS THAN A DAY!!! I'M SO GRATEFUL TO EVERYONE WHO DONATED!!! Locking reblogs to prevent it from spreading further.

Urgent: Transgender Asylum Seeker Needs Housing Assistance

My name is Charlotte; a lot of you know me for my presence online and many will know I am a transgender international student and asylum seeker in the US, currently set to graduate from my Master's degree in a month (hooray!), which means I'll need to move out of my university dormitories.

Unfortunately, both thanks to costs of living and the low, low salary graduate employees get, my funds have been left completely drained by this point. I have been living paycheck-to-paycheck for the past four years, and I am at a point where I don't have the ability to house and feed myself any further. I've let my physical and mental health deteriorate due to the conditions I've been living under. Throughout all of this, I've lived in university housing due to not making enough as a graduate assistant to afford anything else, staying in whatever the cheapest option is each term. What's worse, this summer, I took a full time job at my university that was not only physically grueling but also pulled the rug from under me two months before the end of the summer and cut my hours drastically, forcing me to look for help with my bills and rely on my credit card for a while. Thanks to that, I was able to remain in my current dorm housing situation, barely making rent and food every month.

This, however, leaves me in a precarious position, as I am soon to graduate, meaning I will be forced to move away from campus housing. I am currently in the process of finding an apartment in my vicinity, while also trying to find work after graduation and also juggling the end of my studies. Thankfully, once I find work, thanks to my qualifications I expect to be in a much more stable position, but I need help with my immediate housing situation, as I will be forced to leave the dorms in the 14th of December, necessitating I find a place by then.

Because of all of this, I am looking to raise $2,500 USD in order to help shoulder these charges; 2000 of which will go towards finding and furnishing an apartment (rent, security deposit, and some basic furniture), and 500 towards helping pay off the last of my university account balance and my work authorization. I am at a point where I have no choice but to reach out and ask for the help and generosity of my followers and friends in order to raise this amount in time. If this is not successful, I will have no way of affording a place to live next month. While I have a few options at my disposal in that worst case scenario, I hope to be able to avoid making use of them.

Whatever money ends up unused from this fundraiser will go towards savings, though I estimate I'll need to spend at least $1500 in rent and security deposits at the least.

If you're not able to donate, I encourage you to spread this around and share with your friends and followers, and any donation, no matter how small, will help towards my goal of remaining safe, housed and healthy.

Thank you all for your time and consideration,

-Charlotte

[gay-dorito-dust]

lmao this is my first time giving a request. Could you maybe do dick Grayson head cannons?

Most of these hdc come from my little brain that I thought fit Dick in general, it’s not based on stuff (some of them are but not all) if ppl agree or don’t agree, I couldn’t care less honestly. Also thanks for the request anon, hope you like it! 🫶

I know I write him as a little goofy goober but he tends to play up this character so that he doesn’t have to open up about anything. Is it foolproof? Not entirely and it solely depends on the person and their relationship to him,those of whom that pick up what he’s putting down, and those (you) who can easily see through this facade and know something is up.

He’s more often than not the type who will become more affectionate in private where it’s just you, him and Hayley. Dick doesn’t need anybody else other then you two, his confidants as he so playfully called you both one day, and he’s more then content then he’s ever been.

Older sibling syndrome is strong in this boy.

Foot wars are a common occurrence in your shared apartment as you push against the others foot with your own to see who’s going to be victorious, only for you to accidentally smack him in the face with your foot and the foot war becomes ten times worse, seeing as how as Dick often wins them more then you did.

He will never stop feeling guilty about Jason’s death. Never. That boy who was filled with love and life and claimed that being robin was magic was still within Jason somewhere, dick just knows this to be true, even if Jason loves to claims that that little kid was gone.

And while he’s glad that Jason is back in his life, dick couldn’t help but feel as though he could’ve done better by him at times, holding onto that guilt and shame for not being their for his brother that still killed him inside to this day whenever he saw Jason laugh and or smile at something. It hurts but Dick will never stop being in Jason’s corner, not once. If Gotham was against Jason then Dick will gladly be by Jason’s side, to show that his allegiance to his brother would outweigh a lot of things.

(I’m so normal about dick and Jason being brothers can’t you tell 🥲 leave me here and be delusional)

The same applies to Damian also, which is why your mostly acquainted with both Jason and Damian in comparison to the rest of his family because they often come over by pure coincidence, or because dick dragged them by their ears with a smile on his face.

Insists that you cling onto his legs while he does pull ups and or sit on his back while he does push ups as he lets you count.

Complains to you when he looses the nightwing look alike contest, and to Jason no less, which no one that knows him personally allows him to live down.

They (Tim and Stephanie) even make memes out of it.

Has Hayley as his Lock Screen, you as his Home Screen. Both wearing cute matching pyjamas. So when he’s on his phone people think he’s smiling at his picture of Hayley -which is true- but he’s also smiling at the picture of you also.

His family pester him about you a lot, even Bruce asks when he’s going to meet you, claiming he’s not going to get any younger should Dick hold back on introducing you to him.

Even Alfred gets in on this as well but Dick always has an excuse locked and loaded when these questions are asked, but even he knows that Bruce knows that it’s all bullshit, however he doesn’t say anything outright incase Dick didn’t feel comfortable introducing you to them yet.

Wears only boxers to sleep or boxers and a light blue shirt, it depends on what he’s feeling really.

Loves living in the moment with you as you enjoy the others company without feeling the need to fill the air with chatter, you could just both exist and still love each other regardless because Dick didn’t feel the need to talk all the time, so moments like these were what he longed for most.

Ungracefully fell on his ass in fuzzy soaks once and hurt his tailbone in the process. It was funny until he asked to you put a bag of ice on the afflicted area.

Loved narrating what you and or Hayley do in a goofy voice that never fails to make you smile.

Doesn’t open up immediately but once he does it’s a sign of trust. He admits to his flaws in past relationships and how he wasn’t the most faithful and often saw commitment as a challenge. He understands if you see that as a sign to leave the relationship, he doesn’t expect anything from you, but if you did stay then he’s more then happy to not repeat those mistakes in your relationship.

Knows that people see Bruce when they look at him, he expects it because after being with him as long as he has it was only logical that he picked up some habits along the way whether he liked it or not.

Has a big heart but claims that Jason’s heart was twice as big because he’s so full of love and believed in love.

[bucketbueckers]

accounting - azzi fudd

pairing: azzi fudd x fem!reader (no use of y/n) wc: 2.8k synopsis: you're watching kk and the rest of the team fool around on live when azzi fudd walks in asking for an accounting tutor. deciding to humor it, you're surprised to find that azzi was completely serious, and even more surprised when your offer leads to something more between the two of you. notes: in honor of azzi fudd hoops last night - i was supposed to have this up before the game but i forgot i had a three hour lab and unfortunately i will not write fanfiction in the middle of the university food court. first tumblr post, lmk if we're rockin w it 🙂‍↕️

You’re settling into bed to unwind for the night when you get the TikTok notification.

KK Arnold has gone live!

For the better part of your day, you’ve had your nose in the books, trying to get ahead of your weekly homework. You have a terrible habit of letting most of it pile up during the week and finishing it all over the weekend. As an accounting major, you didn’t really have fun weekend plans, anyway, but it would be nice to lay in bed all day and not worry about something that was due at 11:59. You only had three classes today: managerial accounting, intro to auditing, and intermediate accounting. It wasn’t a rigorous schedule by any means; you were done and out of classes by lunchtime, but after two and a half hours of listening to your professors drone on, you were ready for the nap you couldn’t afford to take due to your piles of homework. 

Seeing the live notification is enough to remind you that you aren’t really that tired, so you click on it. KK’s face fills the screen and she’s unboxing Crumbl cookies. You say a silent prayer for the girls – Crumbl tasted terrible and that was a hill you were willing to die on. Paige sat behind KK, with Ayanna, Jana, Kayla, and a few other players milling about off-camera. For a painful few minutes, KK tries her best to get everyone’s attention so she can narrate about whatever monstrosity of a cookie they’re eating, but everyone’s laughing too hard to fully lock in.

Ayanna leaves to get a knife so KK can cut the cookies evenly. KK entertains the live while Ayanna is away, singing, chatting, and interacting with commenters. When Ayanna finally returns, she has the knife, but Azzi also trails behind her - a fact that the live is definitely appreciative of. “Oh, my God, look who it is!” KK intones in a shrill voice, much to Azzi’s clear bewilderment. You’ve never seen an expression of such confusion on someone’s face before. “It’s Azzi Fudd!”

Azzi buries her face in her hands and moves off-camera as everyone laughs. KK’s voice softens as she asks, “Azzi, wanna try a cookie?”

“No,” Azzi whines.

KK’s entire expression shifts, and admittedly, yours does, too. It’s no secret that Azzi was almost nationally known as the people’s princess. Perhaps you’d have to fight someone. You hope that no one’s actually done something wrong to her – first of all, you can’t even fathom the idea. It’d be like kicking a puppy. Second of all, you were just someone, along with 13,000 other viewers, watching the team interact behind a screen. You were sure that Azzi’s team would handle business, although you were willing to step in if needed, too, even if you stood a solid six inches shorter than Azzi herself. “What happened?” KK asks. Paige echoes her question.

“Ask the live if anyone can tutor me in accounting,” Azzi says forlornly.

You don’t think she’s serious until KK turns back just in time for the cowboy hat to return. “Hey, y’all! Is there anybody who’s really good at accounting for Azzi Fudd? Please send help. If you do have someone who’s really good at accounting, please DM me at k2times TikTok or at kamoreaarnold Instagram or at azzifudd Instagram! Thank yew.” The room dissolves into giggles as KK continues, “And if you DM me with edits or anything else but accounting help, I will block! Thank yew.”

You have the time today, so you switch over to Instagram as the live continues in the background, and you go to Azzi’s page and hit the Message option. You doubt she’ll see it, let alone respond, but as an accounting major, it’s basically your civic duty to help those in need, especially since you know these classes are hell.

hey do u actually need accounting help? i major in it!

Satisfied, you click back over to the live just in time for Azzi to comment, “KK, I might actually have a tutor,” she says in near disbelief. You think nothing of it as KK turns her head, humming at Azzi. “Wait, I think she’s in my class.”

That manages to catch your attention. Sure, you’re watching a live with a couple thousand people on it, but how many of those people are accounting students at UConn who happen to share a class with Azzi Fudd?

An Instagram notification pops up on your screen as Paige leaves the camera frame to most likely peer over Azzi’s shoulder. You’re shocked again to see Azzi has DM’ed you back.

Yes please this homework is killing me Are you in ACCT3201 with Cansler??? I recognize you

Discovering just how unobservant you are should not come as a great surprise. Apparently, you’ve been sharing a class with Azzi Fudd this entire semester and you didn’t even realize it. This is easily the most embarrassing moment of your entire life.

i am i can’t believe i didn’t know u were in it i’m a lot better at accounting than i am at paying attention, i promise

This draws a giggle from Azzi that you can hear over the live. It makes a flush rise on your cheeks. The fact that Azzi Fudd knows who you are combined with the fact she’s laughing at your jokes is enough for a feeling of anticipation to twist in your chest. This is your life now, apparently.

“Azzi is cheesing so bad,” KK teases. You can’t help but feel a little pride at that. “Who’s chatting her up right now? Lemme invite you. Accounting rizz is insane work.”

“Don’t scare away my tutor,” Azzi grumbles, coming back into view of the camera. True to KK’s words, a faint blush has settled on her cheeks. Feeling far too smug, you comment on the live, ‘calling it rizz is crazy, i’m just helping the people.’ Azzi’s eyes scan the screen before rolling slightly. “Look at what you did, KK.”

“Is that her?” KK shrieks. She leans in closer to the screen, blocking out much of the background. “Oh, she fine. Lock in, Azzi; she can help you with more than accounting.”

At that, you and Azzi both blush a deep scarlet red and Azzi turns on her heel. “Goodbye, KK!” The room dissolves into rambunctious laughter as Azzi walks out, calling, “I’m going to finish my homework!”

A moment passes before Azzi messages you again.

I’m so sorry about KK, she’s feral

You swipe away from the live again, grinning slightly. In your DMs, the typing bubbles appear for a few short moment. You heart her most recent message in the meantime.

Will you please help me? I genuinely don’t understand what I’m doing wrong

Yes, you’ve spent most of the day in classes and doing homework. Yes, you’re tired. Yes, you really only joined the live to unwind. But when Azzi asks for help, you can’t really say no to her.

of course, are u working on this week’s homework set?

Her affirmative response is swift, telling you what she’s having trouble with. Your fingers hesitate on your screen, trying to figure out how to put your thoughts into words before settling.

i know this is incredibly forward but would u want to ft? i can explain better verbally

Azzi sends you her number. After tonight’s events, you really shouldn’t be surprised anymore, but you can’t help it. Azzi is a nationally (and internationally) recognized college basketball player and, until now, you were just a girl who watched her team’s TikTok lives and cheered in the student section. Azzi had seemed so untouchable, by virtue of her celebrity and your lack thereof; it’s hard to believe you’re this close to her now, even if it’s just to help her with accounting homework.

The two of you talk well into the night, even hours after Azzi submits her problem sets successfully and she understands the material. You feel like you get to see a side of her so rarely seen by other people who aren’t her teammates. She’s softer, with a beaming smile on her face when she finally understands a difficult concept. There’s something so alluring about the way she speaks that you can’t help but listen to every single thing that comes out of her mouth, ranging from her frustrated rants to the smoothness of her giggle. The lamplight reflects off of the lenses of the glasses perched on her nose and you think she’s so incredibly beautiful – bare-faced and slightly delirious from staying up so late.

When the two of you finally hang up half past three, you can’t wipe the smile off your face, and somehow, you just know that this is the start of something new.

From then on, your friendship with Azzi all but flourishes. She’s incredibly sweet, soft-spoken, and so deliberate in the way she moves and speaks to you. When your next accounting class rolls around, she finds the seat next to yours, asking to sit there with an almost shy expression. When there’s lulls in the lecture, you entertain her with jokes, drawing red-cheeked giggles that she has to stifle. You’re almost like her personal TA, sitting next to her and clarifying concepts that she doesn’t understand. It helps you, too; the best study advice you’d ever received was to teach it to someone else. 

Your friendship progresses outside of the lecture room and outside of your texts. You both spend a lot of time in the library, studying in peace together or enjoying lunch in each other's company. You always thought Azzi was gorgeous, but now that you know her on a far more personal level, falling for her was a near guarantee. The far-away admiration transformed into something pure, genuine. You couldn’t imagine Azzi returning those feelings — she’s far too busy, too committed to ball — so you keep your rapidly growing crush close to your chest. 

You’ve always showed up to the UConn games, though there’s something distinctly different about them now. Azzi was never one for grand celebrations or trash talk in the way Paige was. She was intentional and lowkey, which is why you feel like you could float when she makes direct eye contact with you in the student section, throwing up three fingers to celebrate a particularly deep three. It’s why you cheese when she finds you after the game, after she’s showered and changed, and asks if you want to get ice cream with her. The better question was how could you refuse?

Azzi deliberates between vanilla and cookie dough for a long while before settling on the latter. Even as the clerk fills her bowl, she stares at the the vanilla and your choice of ice cream becomes obvious. Azzi stares at you as the clerk fills your bowl with vanilla. “What? It’s my favorite flavor,” you lie, and her lips quirk up as she studies you. 

“Said literally no one ever,” she says wryly. The clerk hands you the bowl and Azzi swipes her card before you have the chance to even contemplate otherwise. When you stare at her in disbelief, her smile widens and all fight leaves your body. What were you supposed to do about that? You were a puddle for pretty women — a puddle for Azzi, honestly — and your resolve should be commended for maintaining months of friendship with Azzi. 

The two of you find a secluded booth towards the back of the ice cream shop. Azzi shares her midterm grade — a solid 100, and you whistle lowly. “I got an 89,” you say, not hurt by it at all. As long as it was above an 80, you could care less. “You sure you still need me?”

Azzi swirls her ice cream around her bowl, suddenly quiet. The realization dawns on you immediately. Your words were meant to be a joke, but the truth to them stuns you. You really hoped Azzi would say, ‘of course not, it’s not like that!’ but her silence keeps you guessing. 

“I have a confession to make,” she says after a beat, finally glancing up at you. The vulnerability and nervousness makes your heart fall out of your ass. “Promise it won’t make anything weird?”

You open your mouth just to close it again. You clear your throat. “Promise, Az,” you say finally. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing!” she says quickly. “Um, so here’s the thing. I struggled a lot with the first problem set. You know, the one I needed the tutor for?” You nod, confused by her words. “You helped a lot. And, like, I haven’t really needed actual tutoring in weeks. I just really liked spending time with you.” You blink at her. She stares at you right back, brows furrowed with guilt and her doe eyes wide. “I’m sorry. You must feel like I wasted your time.”

At that, you can’t help but laugh, and Azzi pouts. “Az. I thought you were about to dump me,” you explain. “Plus, I kinda figured after a while we were just like, studying together, and not me actually tutoring.”

She sighs, burying her face in her hands. You laugh again, pushing your leftover ice cream towards her. Azzi glances up again, her eyes soft and fond. “I guess I just wanted an excuse for you to stick around.”

“You never needed one,” you tell her honestly, and a blush creeps up her neck. 

“You’re not really picking up what I’m putting down, are you?”

Her words almost make you recoil. It’s no secret at this point that you can be a little oblivious, but her words make your heart skip a beat. “Az, I have no idea what you’re putting down,” you admit.

“So, I just admitted to you that I liked spending time with you and lied about needing study help just so I’d have an excuse to hang out with you,” Azzi confirms. “We are sitting here, alone, after a game while my teammates celebrate at Ted’s. All of that, and you have no idea what I’m putting down?”

The realization hits you like a ton of bricks. “Oh,” you say smartly. 

“Yeah.”

“So, you like me?” you ask just to be one hundred percent sure. 

She smiles at you. You’re certain your heart almost stops beating. “How could I not?” she asks like it’s the easiest thing in the world. “You make me laugh. You’re always so patient with me, you make me feel seen — like I can just be myself. It’s… hard to find something genuine like this. You don’t expect anything from me.”

“I just want you to be happy,” you say simply. 

Her eyes confirm everything for you. You’re not observant, sure, but your main priority has always been what was directly in front of you. And right now, it’s hard to focus on anything that’s not Azzi. Azzi’s eyes are so soft, kinder than anything you’ve ever seen before. They hold so much understanding but there’s also a silent plea of let this be mutual that you’re too happy to give into. 

“I’ve been falling for you for a while,” you admit, and her face brightens. Your shoulders feel lighter; carrying around your feelings has burdened you, but if it’s the price you had to pay to make sure Azzi felt comfortable and that she could have friendships without people taking advantage of her celebrity, then so be it. You’d bear a lot more for her if it ever came down to it. “I kept it to myself for a while,” you continued. “You deserve normal. A friendship without expectations. But, God, Az, how could anyone not fall for you?”

Azzi’s cheeks flush a pretty red. You can’t help but smile at her, growing a little braver, and you slide your hand across the table. She wastes no time before intertwining your fingers together, giving your hand a gentle squeeze. 

She walks you home that night, refusing to let go of you until you’re halfway through your doorstep. She stops you; her height would be intimidating if you didn’t know she was the sweetest person to ever walk the earth. “Can I…” She trails off, her hands gentle on your waist. 

You don’t need much more convincing — you loop your arms around her neck and tug her down to your height, planting your lips on hers with a softness that she eagerly reciprocates. You can taste the vanilla on her lips, the sweetness of the cookie dough, and the promise of something distinctly reminiscent of Azzi Fudd. You’re suddenly thankful for KK’s stupid live, for Crumbl cookie, for the accounting class you shared together. It’s all led you to where you are now, in Azzi’s arms outside of your apartment, overcome with the knowledge that all of this is so new, but you have everything you could have possibly wanted.

(You ask her to officially be your girlfriend two weeks after that, having been on three dates since — it’s only after you pop the question and the two of you are settling in to watch a movie that she admits to you the real reason she was struggling so bad with the problem sets was because she’d spend entire lecture periods staring at you. You roll your eyes, feeling inexplicably cared for in a way you haven’t experienced before Azzi, and your only true response to her confession is the lingering kiss you place on her lips.)

[akanemnon]

Soooo I was kinda bored in math class and I remembered that I want to take some ppl to therapy (don't worry fun gang, I'll pay it :3)

Everything was made from memory since our phones are in a box under lock and key and I cannot have it during classes BUUUT I tried my best:3

Also yeah, I mean it, if you don't give the sillies therapy I'll give it to them.

Also some transcripts at the categories because my writing is shit.

Uzi and Frisk -> Short gremlins that are doomed by the narrative

N and Kris -> Tall & probably on the autism spectrum

V & Susie -> lesbians that could (and will) kill you

Also an actual question: WILL THE FUN GANG GET THERAPY!?!? THEY NEED IT I SWEAR

And another question: This is not the last we see of Lesslo, right? (Forgot to ask it last week)

And last question: Am I allowed to make a Swap AU for Twin Runes? :3

This is very cute, thank you!

As for your questions...

They do need it, but I don't think that's gonna go in the comic itself. Maybe as a mini-comic? We'll see...

Like I said in the tags, Kris made a pretty big mistake of letting him live. Okay, they DID threaten to kill him, but I don't think they have tthe means to melt gold...

I've already seen a robot AU of Twin Runes called Twin Drones (which I'm REALLY fond of btw. I sometimes see snippets from the people working on it and I've made some art for it too) but uhhh... YEAH! You are absolutely free to create an AU based on Twin Runes if you so like! It's always fun seeing what people come up with.

[silent-stories]

𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐔𝐈𝐋𝐃 𝐀 𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘 - 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓

Summary: When Noah was left alone to take care of his daughter about two years ago, he never thought he would find someone else he would trust enough to include in his little family. But things can change.

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x reader

Tw: parent abandoning their child, fluff, angst, crying, anxiety

Series masterlist

Noah’s living room felt warm, the golden light of late afternoon spilling in through the window, creating a calm atmosphere. You were sitting on the couch, a thick blanket draped over your legs. Luna, wearing her favorite bunny sweater, was sitting cross-legged beside you, her eyes gleaming with excitement. Noah was leaning back on the couch, clearly trying to act annoyed but already failing.

Luna had been waiting for this. His hair had finally gotten long enough for you two to try braiding it, and you was more than eager to help.

"Okay, Noah, hold still," you said, your voice light and teasing as you ran your fingers through his locks.

Noah groaned dramatically, half-sitting up with a roll of his eyes. "Why do I always let you do stuff like that to me?"

You smiled at his grumbling. “Because you love it,” you teased, your fingers working through his hair with practiced ease, slowly pulling it into sections. His hair were soft, and you loved the feel of them between your fingers.

Luna, who was sitting beside you, held up the first hair tie, her tiny face serious as she inspected it. “Here, this one first!” she declared, raising her little hands as she held the bright purple tie out to you.

"Thanks, Luna," you said with a smile, taking the tie and gently securing the first section of his hair. “We’re doing a great job.”

“Yes!” she chirped happily.

Noah, pretending to scowl, leaned back against the couch and closed his eyes. “I don’t know why I let you both do this to me. I'm the only one suffering hare."

You leaned over and kissed the side of his head. “Oh, come on, it’s not so bad. You’re gonna look great.”

“Mh. Sure” he muttered, but the soft smile on his lips betrayed him.

Luna passed you another hair tie, this time a bright blue one, eyes wide as she eagerly waited for the next step. She was in full-on “helper mode,” even though she didn't quite understand the mechanics of braiding yet. It was adorable. You were doing most of the work, but she was right there beside you, picking out the ties, handing them over with excitement.

"We don’t have the pink one!" She suddenly declared.

You turned to Noah, feigning concern. “Oh no, we definitely need the pink one, right?”

Noah gave you a sidelong glance. “Sure, we definitely need it,” he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm, but he couldn’t hide the little glint in his eyes.

You smiled and watched as Luna rushed off to her bedroom to find the missing pink hair tie. Turning back to Noah, you continued working on his hair, gently weaving the strands together. As you did, you couldn’t help but think how cute he looked like this—relaxed, with his hair half-braided, the strands falling in soft locks around his face.

"You look cute like this," you said quietly, your fingers brushing through his hair again.

He shifted slightly, his lips curving up just a little as he turned his head toward you. “Mh. You think so?” he asked, his voice quiet but with that familiar playfulness beneath it.

You nodded, your fingers still working through the strands. “Yeah, really cute.”

You leaned in and kissed him on the cheek, your lips lingering for a second. His eyes softened, and for a moment, he just looked at you, the teasing smile replaced by something warmer.

"Thanks," he said quietly, his fingers finding your hand and giving it a soft squeeze. Then, he leaned in and kissed you on the lips. Gentle and slow.

You pulled back slightly, smiling at him, as Luna appeared in the doorway, holding up the missing pink hair tie triumphantly. “Found it!” she said, grinning from ear to ear as she ran back over and handed it to you.

“Good job,” you said, taking the tie from her and getting back to work on the next braid.

Noah adjusted himself on the couch, his hand resting on your thigh as you continued braiding his hair. His touch was slow, almost absentminded, but you could feel the warmth of his hand through the fabric of your jeans. With his other hand, he reached down and pulled Luna up beside him, his fingers gently rubbing her little back as she settled against his side.

"You’re doing great," you said to Luna, giving her a reassuring smile as you worked.

Luna nestled into Noah, her head resting on his arm. "I’m the best at this,” she whispered almost to herself, her voice muffled against his shirt.

Noah laughed softly, his hand still gently rubbing her back. He glanced at you, his gaze soft and affectionate, before leaning in to press a kiss to your cheek.

You leaned back and admired your work, the little braids now neatly secured in place. "Yeah. Definitely cute," you said.

He couldn't help but chuckle.

The next day, Noah stepped into the the band's living room, Luna bouncing ahead of him as she ran toward the group. The guys were lounging around, but as soon as they saw Luna, they lit up.

“Whoa, look how tall you’re getting!” Jolly exclaimed, crouching down to Luna’s level. “You’re almost as tall as me now!”

Luna giggled, standing on tiptoe and puffing out her chest. “I’m this tall!” she said proudly, arms stretched high above her head.

Noah leaned casually against the doorframe, smiling at the interaction. “Yeah, except she’s the shortest in her class at daycare,” he teased. “She didn’t get that from me.”

Folio, lounging on the couch with a sly grin, chimed in, “She got it from me then. Being tall is not the most important thing, you know?”

Noah rolled his eyes with a chuckle. “Dude, we’re not even related,” he said, shaking his head. "You remember that, right?"

Nick couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, yeah, sure."

Matt, who had been quietly watching the exchange, leaned forward. “So, Luna,” he said, “what are we gonna do today?”

Luna’s eyes immediately lit up. “We are drawing!” she exclaimed, poiting to some sharpies and pens she left on a little table in the corner of the room the last time he was there. “I draw big flowers and rainbows, and sometimes cats. And daddy. And Y/N. And you uncles.”

Nicholas leaned in with a grin. “You draw cats? I really wanna see one."

Luna nodded seriously. “I can draw you one! But only if you color it with me.”

“Deal!” he said, raising his hands in surrender. “I’m an expert at coloring!”

Folio raised an eyebrow. “Hey, does that mean you’re gonna be a famous artist one day?”

Luna’s eyes sparkled as she thought about it. “Maybe! I’ll make big art and sell it for a lot of money. Then I’ll buy ice cream!”

The group laughed.

“And you, Uncle Folio?” Luna asked, her tone serious but playful. “What’s your favorite thing to do?”

“Well, I’m pretty good at playing the drums. And I like fishing."

Luna looked at him with a bit of disgust painted on her face. "I don't like fish."

"I'm better at making music, don't worry."

Noah, who had been watching the interaction with a grin, suddenly caught himself thinking about Jason. He almost wanted to talk about the situation with the guys again but he didn't want to ruin the moment.

Maybe next time.

Luna turned to Noah and gave him a big smile. "Daddy, are you going to draw with me too?”

Noah chuckled. "I think I’m better at making music than drawing too.”

Luna frowned playfully. “I think you can do both.”

Noah smiled softly, already talking a sharpie in his hand. “You’re right. I can do both.”

You talked with Jason for the second time three days later.

The Breakfast Nook was rather quiet, that morning. You were behind the counter, chatting with Noah, who was sitting on the bar stool at the counter, drinking his usual cup of tea.

The bell above the door chimed softly as it opened, and when you glanced up, your heart did a little stutter when your eyes landed on Jason.

He was standing in the doorway, framed by the light that poured in from the street. He was wearing a light brown jacket, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, revealing the tattoos on his forearms. His blue eyes scanned the room with an almost unsettling intensity, like he was looking for something specific.

Noah noticed him at the same time you did, and there was a sudden shift in his posture, a subtle but undeniable tension in his shoulders. You could see the way his eyes narrowed as he took in Jason’s appearance and the way he moved into the coffee shop.

You turned back to the espresso machine, trying to stay composed, but you could feel the weight of Noah’s stare, the quiet energy between you both, shifting.

"Uh-oh," Grace’s voice cut through the quiet of the shop. Her tone was sharp and knowing as she peered over from behind the register, her eyes already locked onto Jason. “This is gonna be fun."

You shot her a glare, but she was already smirking, knowing that something was about to happen.

Jason moved toward the counter, his gaze fixed on you. As he stepped closer, you couldn’t help but feel the heat rise in your chest. You hadn’t seen him for three days, and now, you couldn’t deny the unease that curled up inside you as he stood there, so close.

“Hi,” Jason said simply, his voice smooth, low. He wasn’t smiling, but his eyes held a sort of curiosity, as though he was waiting for something, perhaps for you to speak first.

“Hey,” you replied, your voice steady. You waited for him to order, but instead, he just stood there, silent, looking at you.

You shifted uncomfortably, glancing at Noah, who was staring at Jason now, his fingers curling around his teacup. The air felt thick between the three of you, and it was only a matter of time before Noah broke the silence.

“Hi,” Noah’s voice was surprisingly firm as he stood up, his posture protective, his gaze not leaving Jason’s. “I’m Noah. Her boyfriend.”

You blinked, caught off guard by his words. You didn't expect that.

Jason’s gaze flickered between you and Noah, a slight raise of his eyebrows betraying his surprise, but he didn’t react immediately. Grace, who had been watching the entire scene unfold with a bemused expression, snorted quietly to herself behind the counter, stifling a laugh.

Jason finally talked. “Oh, uh, hi, man. I’m Jason. Yeah, I’ve heard of you,” he said, his voice polite, but there was something beneath it—something you couldn’t quite place. His gaze lingered on Noah for a moment before Jason extended his hand, waiting for Noah to shake it.

Noah didn’t move, his hands still firmly wrapped around his teacup, his expression unchanging. Jason’s hand remained outstretched, but Noah simply stayed there, eyes locked on Jason.

“Good,” Noah said finally, his voice low, almost bored. He didn’t offer his hand in return.

You felt like the tension in the air was thick now, almost palpable, as if the room had stopped breathing. Jason just nodded once, like he’d accepted the silent challenge. Then, without a word, he turned his attention back to you, lowering his hand.

“I’ll just have a cappuccino. To take away,” Jason said, his tone casual as if nothing had just happened.

You nodded quickly, your fingers already moving to prepare his order. He was still watching you, and for some reason, it felt like he was studying you, trying to read something in your face.

He paid for his coffee, gave a nod of acknowledgment to Noah—who didn’t respond—and then turned to leave. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but the air felt charged as he walked out of the door, the bell chiming softly as he left.

The silence that followed was deafening.

Noah’s gaze stayed fixed on the door, a frown tugging at his lips. “I don’t like him,” he muttered under his breath, his voice tight. “I really don’t like him. He was looking at you the whole time.”

You rolled your eyes, trying to shake off the feeling of unease Jason had left behind. “Well, I work here, Noah. It’s kind of my job to be looked at.”

Noah’s jaw tightened, exhaling a sharp breath as if he were trying to hold back something.

Grace, who had been watching the whole thing with an almost painful amusement, decided it was time to throw in her two cents. “I work here too, sweetheart,” she said. “But he was looking at you.”

You shot her a look that could kill, but Grace didn’t seem to care. She just smirked, clearly enjoying the chaos she’d just witnessed.

“Are you seriously gonna act like that wasn’t weird?” Noah said, his eyes not leaving the door, his fingers drumming restlessly against his mug. “He was practically undressing you with his eyes.”

“Stop,” you said, your voice sharp, trying to deflect the growing tension. “You’re being ridiculous. He’s just a customer like anyone else now.”

Noah shook his head, his brows furrowing in frustration. “Yeah, of course."

Grace chuckled and you shot her a pointed look, which she ignored again, and tried to focus on the customers coming in.

“Well, I'm going to the studio,” Noah muttered, his hand going to his jacket as if he were about to get ready to leave, but you stopped him with a quick touch to his arm.

“Wait,” you said softly, though you could still feel that knot in your stomach. “Are you... are you mad at me?"

Noah hesitated, but then he sighed, rubbing his temple. “No. No, I'm not. I just don’t like him,” he muttered again.

“I know,” you replied quietly, glancing back to the door where Jason had just walked out. “But it's okay. We're okay. Don't worry."

"Mh."

"Come here."

You leaned over the counter to kiss him before he left and when you felt his little smile against your lips, you immediately felt better.

"See you tonight?"

"See you tonight."

The soft glow of the nightlight flickered in the corner of the room, casting a warm, comforting light across the space. Noah was standing by the side of Luna’s bed, his hand gently brushing through her hair as she settled under the covers.

“Cozy, huh?” Noah said softly, pulling the blanket up over her tiny form.

“Mmhmm,” Luna hummed, snuggling into the pillow, her eyelids drooping. She yawned, then blinked up at her dad, her voice small and sleepy. “Today, Emma was talking about her mom.”

Emma was Luna’s friend from daycare, a year older than her, but that was not the important part of the conversation.. He turned slightly, making sure to keep his voice calm, even though he could already feel the weight of what was about to come.

“Was she?” Noah asked, his voice soft, carefully measured. His stomach twisted.

Luna nodded slowly, her little face tired but curious. “Yeah. She asked me how my mom is like.”

Noah was sure his heart skipped a beat. He swallowed hard, trying to find a way to keep the conversation light. He leaned down, placing a soft kiss on her forehead, his voice barely above a whisper.

“And what did you tell her?” he asked, though he already knew what the answer was going to be.

Luna shifted in the bed, tucking her tiny hands under her chin, her brows furrowing slightly. “I said... I don’t have one.” She paused, then, as if the thought had only just occurred to her, asked, “But why don’t I have one, daddy?”

The words hit him like a punch to the gut, and for a moment, Noah’s breath caught in his throat. His eyes stung with something he didn’t want to face. The question was so innocent, but it was also a reminder of what he couldn't keep.

His fingers trembled slightly as he brushed a lock of hair from Luna’s face, trying to steady himself.

Luna’s big eyes were wide now, searching his face, waiting for an answer. Noah’s heart ached at the trust in her expression, the way she needed him to make sense of something that was far too complicated for a little girl to understand.

He took a deep breath, forcing his voice to stay steady even though it trembled slightly.

“Look, princess...” he started, his voice a little strained. He paused, taking another breath before continuing, trying to put the words together in a way that would make sense, in a way that wouldn’t hurt her.

“We are a very special family. Your mommy, when you were very, very little, decided not to be with us anymore.” His chest tightened with the words, but he kept going, pushing through the lump in his throat.

“But that doesn’t change the fact that I love you so much, Lu. You’re my world. And I’ll always be here for you, okay? No matter what.”

Luna blinked up at him, her sleepy little face taking in his words, though the understanding wasn’t fully there. She was too young to really grasp the weight of what he was saying, but Noah could see in her eyes that she trusted him. That was enough.

“Okay,” Luna said softly, her voice already drifting off, the sleep overtaking her once more. “Yes, daddy.”

Noah smiled faintly, relief flooding through him, even if the pain of the conversation still lingered in his chest. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

“I love you so much,” he whispered, his voice breaking slightly but not too much for Luna to notice.

"Love you too." Luna’s eyes fluttered shut, her breathing steady as she finally sank into sleep, her small form finally at rest. Noah stayed for a moment longer, just watching her peaceful expression.

Then, with one last glance, Noah stepped back from the bed, pulling the door open just enough to slip out.

He gently closed the door behind him, the soft click of the latch echoing in the stillness of the house.

For a moment, he just stood there, in the dark hallway.

It was when he heard your voice that he realized he was crying.

You were still on the couch when Noah when to put Luna to bed, telling you he would be right back.

You heard him closing the door of his daughter's beroom behind him after a couple of minutes, the soft click echoing in the quiet hallway.

Then only silence.

You waited for a moment, thinking that maybe he stopped in the bathroom but you didn't hear any footsteps, so you stood up and walked towards the hallways, flipping the light switch on to figure out what was happening.

You saw him as he took a couple of slow, heavy steps away from Luna's room, his head slightly down, his posture tense. He wasn’t conpletely facing you yet, but you could tell something was wrong.

You walked toward him instinctively, your heart aching just from the way he was standing even before you realized that a single tear was slowly crossing his cheek.

When you reached him, you spoke, your voice barely above a whisper. “Noah. Are you okay?”

He didn’t respond immediately. But then, as if the words you spoke somehow unlocked something inside him, his breath hitched. A shaky exhale left his lips, and suddenly his body wracked with sobs.

Your heart broke. You had never seen Noah cry before—let alone like this. Never had you seen him so vulnerable, so completely shattered. The sound of his sobbing felt like it was ripping through the stillness of the house, and it pierced you deep in your chest. Without thinking, you moved closer, standing on your tiptoes and wrapping your arms around his neck, trying to hold him together the best you could.

“Baby… what happened?” you asked, your voice trembling with concern.

Noah just shook his head, the sobs coming harder now. He couldn’t speak. The weight of whatever was tormenting him was too much to bear, and you could feel the rawness of it in every tremor that ran through his body.

You held him tighter, trying to soothe him, but his shoulder kept shaking under your hands, and you knew there was nothing you could say or do to stop the storm inside him. You pressed your cheek to the side of his head, whispering over and over again, “It’s okay, baby. I’m here. It’s okay.”

You felt the tears against your neck, and your own eyes began to sting as you realized just how much he was suffering. You gently cupped his face, wiping away some of the tears, but his pain wasn’t something you could erase.

All you could do was hold him, let him cry, and be there.

After a while, when his sobs had calmed just a bit, you reached down and took his hand in yours, guiding him to the bed. He followed you wordlessly, his movements slow and unsteady, as if he were in a daze. Once you sat him down, he immediately let himself fall onto the bed, his head resting against your stomach.

You settled under him, pulling the blanket over you both, and began to run your fingers gently along his back and shoulders, trying to calm the trembling in his body. He hid his face in your shirt, his breath still shaky as he tried to steady himself.

His arms wrapped loosely around you, but it was as if he were clinging to you for dear life.

“I’m here, baby,” you whispered softly, gently scratching the back of his head, “It’s okay. I’m right here.”

The minutes stretched on, and you felt his breathing begin to steady.

You didn’t rush him. You didn’t push him to talk. You just kept whispering comforting words, running your fingers over his skin and through his hair. You could feel the weight of his fears in every soft exhale, and it only made you want to hold him even tighter.

Eventually, he spoke. “Luna asked why she doesn’t have a mom.” His words trembled as he said them, and you could hear the guilt in his voice. “And… it just... it stirred something in me. I’m always so fucking scared. I’m scared I’m not enough for her. I’m scared of messing up, of not being a good enough dad. I let her mom leave... I should’ve done something. For her. I should’ve—”

You shook your head, your fingers brushing over his hair, softly. “No, baby. You are enough. You’re an amazing dad, Noah. Luna loves you so much. You did everything you could. Nothing that happened is your fault."

Noah’s breath hitched again, and he buried his face further into your stomach, his voice muffled but still desperate. “And I’m scared I’m not enough for you,” he said, his words barely audible.

“I know you love me, I know you wouldn’t leave me, but I can’t help it. I’m scared, baby. Every day. Every time I wake up and you’re not next to me, I'm always so fucking scared and I feel it in my chest and I don’t even know how to explain it… and now, with Jason back, I don’t know. I just feel like… like I’m not enough for anyone. Like I'm about to lose you.”

His words almost physically hurt you.

You could hear the rawness in his voice—the depth of his insecurity, the weight of everything he was carrying.  You pressed a kiss to the top of his head, your hand moving gently along his back.

“Listen to me,” you said, your voice firm but gentle, “You are enough, Noah. I've already said it and I'll keep repeating it. You’re more than enough. You’re an incredible dad, an incredible boyfriend. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. And I love you so much.”

Noah took a deep breath, the shaking in his body starting to subside. You continued to stroke his back, between his shoulder blades, your hand moving in slow, soothing circles, trying to ease the tension still gripping him.

His breathing began to steady, and though he didn’t say anything more, you could feel him start to relax under your touch. You could feel the fight slowly leaving him, the fear and the guilt starting to soften.

His hand moved up to rest against your chest, fingers gripping your shirt as if he were afraid to let go. You let him do it.

And as the night went on, you just held him, whispering reassurances, your fingers always gently caressing his back.

Your t-shirt was damp with his tears, but you didn’t care.

You weren’t going anywhere. You wouldn’t let him go through this alone.

Eventually, Noah’s breath grew even, his body still against yours, the last of his tears falling on your shirt. You kept running your fingers over his back for a little longer, ensuring that he was calm, letting the gentle rise and fall of your chest be the rhythm he could settle into. When you were sure that he had finally drifted into a peaceful sleep, you allowed yourself to relax as well.

You stayed there, the sound of his steady breathing the only thing filling the quiet room.

You watched him sleep for a few moments.

And only then, you let a few tears fall from your eyes, that, landing on your shirt, mixed with Noah's.

Tags: @anything-more-than-human @ladyveronikawrites @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @fadingangelwisp @xmads-omensx @iwasntstable @thisbicc @pathion @mathfairchild1 @flowery-mess @into-the-grey @lma1986 @tosoundlessdarkistare @stardustsirenmelody @thewrstinme

TBAF Tags: @aubrey-melinoe @klutzy-kay24 @mrscevans @concreteangel92 @iconic-taurus @niicolelynn @cheyyyyr @supersquirrel1996 @respectfulrebel @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @clickmedead @missduffsblog

[tinylilacbun]

Could you do a JJ’s little sister fanfic where she gets hit by Luke and JJ comforts her and takes her to the chateau to get her away from it? She could be like 13 maybe

Daddy Issues

Pairing: brother!jj maybank x sister!reader

Warnings: angst, child abuse, Luke, bruises, swearing

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷

You squint your eyes shut as you try to close the front door quietly, praying to god that your father is dead asleep or passed out from drinking.

Peeking inside the living room you sigh in relief when he is nowhere to be seen only to squeak when you bump into a chest, looking up to face your father.

"You're late." He states, the smell of beer reaches your nose and you refrain from the urge to scrunch your face up in disgust.

"M-My phone died and I lost track of time." You stammer, cursing at yourself mentally for giving him the satisfaction of knowing that he's scaring you.

"Uh-huh..." He trails off before his fist suddenly connects with your face, sending you on the ground from the inpact. "Care to explain why your goddamn school called me today 'cause you keep ditchin'?"

You cradle the side of your face, tears stinging in your eyes as you try to come up with an explanation only to flinch when he raises his hand again.

"If I get one more call I swear I'll give you a beating that you'll never forget." He seethes and when you don't give any acknowledgement he leans down to grab your face with one hand, his fingers digging uncomfortably into your skin. "Got it?"

"Y-Yes dad..." You answer, your voice shaking.

He let's go of you harshly, walking past you to get himself another beer and you quickly scramble off the floor to rush for your room, locking the door you press your forehead against it and let the tears finally flow.

Fun fact, the only times you don't go to school are the days you got another bruise from Luke, not wanting to keep explaining to your teachers where they're from and risking that CPS gives you a visit, knowing they would instantly take you and JJ into foster care and the chances that you both stay together is low.

You wouldn't know what to do without him. He's your big brother, the only person you can tell everything and see more as a father figure than Luke.

20 minutes later you're curled up on your bed, sobbing quietly into your pillow when a tapping on your window startles you, lifting your head to see JJ.

You force yourself to get up and walk over to the window, opening it for him to stumble through.

"Thanks...didn't wanna get caught by dad." He says, standing back straight he smoothes out his clothes, adjusting the cap on his head.

He doesn't notice what state you're in until you move back to your bed, getting a glimpse of your face from the lamp on your nightstand illuminating it.

His eyes widen as he approaches you. "Whoa, what happened." He asks, lifting his hand to grab your chin but when you flinch away he stops mid air, his jaw clenching the moment he realizes.

Luke. He's gonna kill him. He's gonna fucking-

JJ's thoughts are interrupted by you starting to sob, pulling you into a hug with a hand cradling the back of your head against his chest. "Shh, I'm here now...I got you."

He just stands there with you for a while, not making any move to pull away, waiting for you to make the first move and when you do he pushes you gently to sit down on your bed.

Without saying anything he grabs one of your bags and shoves some clothes into it and any necessities he thinks you might need, then crouches down to pick up the teddy bear you had since you were a baby and shoves it in there as well before he stands back up.

"Let's go." He grabs your hand and pulls you towards your window.

You don't protest and climb over the window seal, your feet touching the ground again you watch JJ come out after you and shut the window quietly.

He grabs your hand again and leads you to his dirt bike, helping you sling the bag onto your back, climbing onto his bike first he waits for you to get on as well.

After you do, you wrap your arms around him tightly, your face pressing against his back. JJ revs his bike before taking off towards the Chateau, knowing you'll feel safer there.

Arriving at your second home JJ stops the others from greeting you, telling them you need a moment and taking you inside, placing his hands on your shoulders he leans down to meet your gaze.

His heart aches at the sight of the blooming bruise on your right eye, your eyes puffy and red rimmed from the crying. "Go take a shower, I'm waiting with the others outside, yea?"

You nod, making your way to the bathroom JJ sighs, walking back outside he grabs a beer can and cracks it open, taking a big sip.

"What's up with tiny maybank?" John b asks, his concern growing when JJ starts pacing, pulling the cap off his head angrily.

"Fucking Luke..." The blonde mutters. "He hit her man! He hit my baby sister!"

Everyone's eyes widen, protectiveness and anger flaring up in all of them. You're the youngest of the group, so of course they see you as their own little sibling and would do anything for you, just like JJ does.

"Why? What happened? Is she okay?" Kie asks concerned and JJ scoffs.

"No, she's not fucking okay, kie. She has a damn black eye 'cause of this piece of shit!" He snaps at her, too worked up to see that his friends are just as worried and upset as he is.

"Man, calm down, okay? We're trying to help." Pope tries to ease the tension.

"Right, right. I'm sorry- I just...fuck. I should've been there I..." JJ trails off, feeling tears build up in his eyes but pushing them back.

He knows how you feel, the feeling of not understanding how someone who's supposed to love and take care of you can hurt you like that without batting an eye.

JJ feels even worse for not being there to protect you, to stop his father from laying a hand on you.

He sits down on the ground near the crinkling fire, his arms braced on his knees when he feels a hand on his shoulder, looking to his side to look at John b.

His best friend doesn't need to be a mind reader to know what he's thinking, squeezing his shoulder in reassurance. "It's not your fault, jay. We're here for you both."

JJ just nods, giving him a small smile. "I know. Thank you. All of you."

Everyone's attention goes to the Chateau when they hear the screen door being shut, seeing you coming towards them, freshly showered and dressed in an oversized shirt.

JJ instantly gets on his feet again, approaching you to pull you into another hug and you wrap your arms around him, holding onto his shirt tightly. "I'm sorry I wasn't there I-"

"S'okay..." You whisper, already feeling a lot better being in the presence of your real family. "I love you, jay..."

"I love you too, kid." He whispers back, pulling back to press a kiss to your forehead. "More than anything.

You smile at him, the throbbing pain from your bruised eye slowly fading as you turn to look at the others. "Hey guys..."

"C'mon, sit with us, sweetie." Sarah pats the places next to her and you go to sit beside her, letting her wrap an arm around you.

The moment everyone gets settled again the usual banter and laughter kills the built up tension in the air, JJ keeping an eye on you the whole time to make sure you're alright.

Taglist

For everything:

@my-river-lilly @pauntedblacknails @fanfictioniseverything @devilslilbabysblog @buckymydarlingangel @hallecarey1 @daybreakwinter @loveshineslikethesky @wandaslittlewhore @vase-of-lilies @white-wolf1940 @simpingbutch @mischiefsemimanaged @alina02 @teddybearsgrr @doozywoozy @angelbabydoll28 @glxwingrxse @lilymurphy03 @veryvaughnny @lokigirlszendaya @youngstarfishdinosaur @little--baby--bear @minideathgoddess @rach2602 @gh0stgurl @flourishandblotts-inc @lovelyy-moonlight @yoruse

@mythixmagic @iris-xoxo-juhu @mylettterstoyou

For JJ:

@chiaraanatra @chimindity @flora-eva

[daisymbin]

Hi belle!! ive loved all the mingyu drabbles ive read from u!! 💗 may i request a mingyu 2nd chance romance with prompt no. 5? 🥹

hello!! yes you definitely can!! & thank you for your compliments 🥹🤍

request your own: full prompt list!

check out my masterlist!

second chance prompt #5: "I still keep your picture in my wallet."

mingyu had always been good at pretending. pretending he didn’t still think about you when he woke up in the morning, pretending that he didn’t miss the way you laughed, how your presence could fill up a room. he was good at pretending, until he saw you again.

when he walked into the café, with the sun hitting your face just right, mingyu felt his chest tighten. he wasn’t supposed to be here. not like this. he had told himself time and time again that seeing you again would only make it worse. but when joshua casually mentioned you were in town, mingyu couldn’t stop himself from asking if he could come along.

he hadn’t realized how much he needed to see you until now, until he was standing next to you, feeling that familiar pull he’d tried so hard to bury.

as he paid for everyone's drinks, mingyu didn’t notice the photo slip from his wallet until it fluttered onto the counter.

it was the polaroid of you at the beach. he’d kept it there for so long, tucked into the folds of his wallet, a small token of a time that felt so far away but still so close.

he watched as you froze, your eyes locking onto the photo with a recognition that hit him like a punch in the gut.

"why..." you whispered, your voice cracking. "why do you have this still?"

mingyu’s heart dropped. he wasn’t sure why he’d kept it. maybe it was because he still couldn’t let go. maybe it was because he knew, deep down, that the version of you in that picture—the carefree, happy version—was something he would never find again. not with anyone else.

“i still keep your picture in my wallet,” he admitted, his voice coming out quieter than he intended.

your gaze never left the photo, your breath catching in your throat. mingyu’s chest ached, knowing how much the past still hurt you.

“mingyu…”

he ran a hand through his hair, wishing he could take back the way things ended between you. “i know. i know i messed up. i shouldn’t have pushed you away like that. but i couldn’t throw this away. it felt wrong to.”

you looked at him then, your eyes filled with so many emotions he couldn’t decipher. “you’re still holding on to this... after everything? after we—”

“i couldn’t forget you,” he cut you off, his words spilling out before he could stop them. “i’ve tried, but i can’t. you were never just a phase for me. you were... everything.”

he saw the way your lip trembled. “why did you leave then?”

mingyu swallowed hard, struggling to find the right words. “i thought i was doing the right thing. i thought it would be easier if i just let you go. i thought maybe you’d be happier without me.”

“you’re a fool,” you whispered, tears brimming in your eyes. “you broke me, mingyu.”

he felt the sharp sting of those words deep in his chest. “i know. i know i did, and i hate myself for it.”

“so why now?” you asked, voice breaking. “why did you reach out now, after all this time?”

mingyu’s eyes softened. “because i couldn’t stay away. seeing you again—it felt like a sign. a chance to fix the mess i made.”

“but i don’t know if i can trust you again.” you wiped away a tear, turning your face away.

his heart cracked at the sight. “i wouldn’t blame you if you couldn’t. i wouldn’t blame you if you hated me for what i did.”

“i don’t hate you,” you said quietly, voice almost a whisper.

mingyu took a step closer, hesitating before he reached out and gently cupped your cheek. “then why do you look like you’re about to cry every time you look at me?”

you met his gaze, eyes glossy with emotion. “because i still care about you, mingyu. i still miss you. i never stopped loving missing you.”

he let out a breath, the weight of your words settling on him like a heavy burden. he had been a fool. “i didn’t want to hurt you. i swear to god, i didn’t. but i couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“so, what now?” you asked, looking at him through a haze of tears. “what do we do now?”

mingyu could feel the answer in his bones. he’d never been more certain of anything in his life.

“we try again,” he said, his voice firm, resolute. “we start over. i’ll do whatever it takes to prove to you that i can be the person you deserve.”

your eyes searched his, doubt lingering behind your gaze. “you mean it?”

“i wouldn’t say it if i didn’t,” he said softly, his thumb brushing across your cheek. “i’ve never meant anything more.”

you stared at him for a long moment, as if trying to figure out if he was telling the truth. finally, you let out a shaky breath and nodded. “okay,” you whispered. “but don’t mess this up, mingyu. i can’t go through this again.”

“i won’t,” he promised, leaning in and gently pressing his forehead to yours. “i swear to you, i won’t mess it up this time.”

he didn’t need words to tell you how much he meant it. his lips found yours in a soft, hesitant kiss. the world outside faded, and for the first time in a long time, mingyu felt like he was home.

[burntheedges]

Pas de Deux Chapter 6

Din Djarin x f!reader | 2.5k | fic masterlist | main masterlist | ao3

chapter summary: You can't avoid it any longer -- it's time for you and Din to talk.

a/n: I feel like this is the moment many of you have been waiting for, lol. I'm very excited to see your reactions! See my notes at the end and on the masterlist about reader in this fic and ballet in general. Thank you @katareyoudrilling for being the best beta, as always!!

chapter tags/warnings: gen, ballet terms (see end notes and the masterlist for definitions and videos), a bit more angst (sorry), but they are going to talk!

Chapter 6

You thought about your conversation with Kuiil as you walked to your rehearsal with Adrian, as you stretched and practiced in your morning classes, and as you took the stage over the weekend in Vince’s piece in the mixed program. You thought about it as you watched Din and Yuna in the Balanchine ballet and as you did your PT for your ankles and as you talked with Talia about your role in Midsummer. You thought about it as you sat on the bus home at night, so tired and achy that you needed something to think about to keep you awake.

You thought about it so much you barely had time to think about anything else.

Was Kuiil right? Was Din more uncertain than frustrated? Was he finding it difficult to communicate and connect in a way he hadn’t before, at CBC? You thought about seeing him on stage with Yuna, and how effortless that had seemed. But Balanchine’s choreography, more than so many others, was so technical, so focused on precision. There was so much less room for the dancer in a ballet where all of the space was taken up by striving for technical perfection. 

In class, you let your eyes stray to Din for the first time in two weeks. You watched as he stretched and jumped and wondered if perhaps you had just been talking past each other.

What if he’s trying, and you simply haven’t realized it? What if he just doesn’t know how?

He’s never done this before, you reminded yourself. 

Your mind was swimming as you stepped into the studio for your fourth rehearsal with Kuiil. You found Din was already there, as usual, and tried not to stare as you worried over your questions. You resolved to be more observant, this time.

And this time, because you were looking for it, you finally saw what Kuiil was talking about.

More than once, as you danced, Din reached for you, literally and figuratively. You leapt past and he oriented his body towards yours, echoing your movement. He turned, but kept his eyes on you as he did. You could see him trying in the ways he knew, to shape his movements around yours, to showcase his partner on stage, but his discomfort with improvisation shone through. The problem was that all of his movements were so stylistically different from yours, that there was little for you to hold on to. And so the two of you struggled to react to each other, as Kuiil had asked.

You tried. You tried to respond to him, to react, but it threw both of you off. He clearly wasn’t expecting you to improvise so drastically. Suddenly the dance was disjointed, and you fell so badly out of step in trying to turn towards him when he moved away from you that you stumbled. 

The music stopped.

Din turned to look at Kuiil and you spun around to do the same. 

Kuiil simply looked at you both for a moment, and then sighed. “I have pushed you too much, I think, and forgotten the basics of partnership. And you will need to work together, to connect more deeply, as we begin the second movement.” You started to shake your head, but Kuiil held up his hand. “No. Here is what we will do, as you prepare for Midsummer and Swan Lake.”

And then he gave you homework.

…

“So, what, is Kuiil going to lock you in a room until you talk to each other?” Adrian’s voice was teasing, but you could tell he meant it.

“Not quite,” you said. “But instead of rehearsal next week we’re supposed to try to get to know each other. To talk.”

He smirked at you. “Ooooh, to talk.” 

You rolled your eyes. “Yes?” You poked him in the side and he yelped. “Stop teasing me and help me figure out what to talk to him about.”

He laughed. “I think you know what to talk about. You just have to figure out how to get him to talk at all.”

You shook your head. “He’s talked to me. Just not about… this.” You waved your arm at all of the problems you’d been having in rehearsal.

Adrian seemed to consider that for a moment. “You know, you’re right. He does talk to you, in a way he doesn’t talk to anyone else.” He furrowed his brow. “Maybe all you need to do is ask.”

…

You followed Adrian’s advice and started with simply asking Din to meet you at the rehearsal studio, without Kuiil, to talk. He agreed readily and you decided to take that as a good sign.

It was the week of Midsummer’s debut, and you were focused to the point of distraction on your role as Hermia. You appreciated it for taking your mind off of the disaster that was the pas de deux, though, and by the time you found yourself outside of the studio where you’d meet Din you realized you’d barely thought about the meeting at all.

(Well, not much. Not as much as the week before, at least.)

He was, as usual, already inside.

You closed the door behind you and dropped your bag and shoes before moving to join him where he sat with his back to the mirror. As you slid down beside him, he nodded in greeting. 

“So,” you said, when it became obvious Din wasn’t going to jump in first. “I think we both know what the problem is, but where do we start?”

You looked at Din and took a moment to observe him up close. He was staring straight ahead, but you didn’t think he was looking at anything in particular. He seemed too inside his own mind for that.

Just when you began to worry that you’d have to push him, that this wasn’t going to work because he wasn’t going to meet you halfway, he spoke.

“I’m sorry.” 

You blinked, startled — you weren’t sure what he was apologizing for. Did he think you meant he was the problem?

“What? Din, no—”

He shook his head and finally turned to look at you. His expression was as closed to you as always. “No, I want to say this. Let me… let me say this. I should have told you this weeks ago, but I can’t…” he trailed off, but this time you didn’t interrupt. You turned slightly towards him on the floor, extending your left leg and drawing your right knee to your chest. You gave him your full attention. He looked down at his hands and continued, softly. “I’ve never done anything like this before. I’ve been so worried that I won’t be able to… to let go of my training. To dance in any other way. To do anything else.” 

You wanted to reach out to him, but you were worried he would startle if you did. You laced your own fingers together and squeezed your hands around your knee.

“I can see the problems, but I don’t know how to fix them. I don’t know how to move like you do. I don’t know how to do anything but what I’ve always done. I don’t know…” Suddenly he looked up at you, and you sucked in a sharp breath at the sheer emotion in his eyes. “I want to dance this with you. I want to partner with you. But I can’t seem to figure out how — not because of you. Because of me.”

You were reaching before you could stop yourself and lightly rested your hand on his forearm. He didn’t startle, but he did look down at it, brow furrowed. You forced yourself to leave it there and squeezed his arm lightly. 

“Din, I…” you weren’t sure how to reassure him. You’d seen his discomfort in rehearsals and you knew this was new to him, even if he hadn’t told you so before. You decided to share your own worries instead, since he had just been so open with his own. “This is the biggest role I’ve ever gotten. I mean, you know I’ve got Hermia, and then the spring fairy in Cinderella… but I’ve never been chosen for something like this before. I’ve never had a chance like this.” He lifted his head and met your eyes again, and this time his eyes were soft. It encouraged you to continue. “And you’re so good, I’ve been so worried that I’m not…” you bit your lip and squeezed his arm again when he opened his mouth. You shook your head and he nodded, letting you continue. “That I’m not good enough. I’ve had bad reviews before and I’m not even a principal and I know there are people out there who think I’m not good enough to be one. I—”

This time, Din cut you off. “That’s absurd.” His tone was flat, like his point was so obvious he couldn’t believe he had to say it.

You blinked. “What?”

He tilted his head, his gaze dancing over your face. He covered your hand on his left arm with his right and squeezed. “Of course you deserve to be a principal. They should have already promoted you. Karga clearly wants to, anyway. You’re a beautiful dancer.”

Your mouth dropped open. “What?”

The corner of his mouth lifted in that barely-there smile and you felt your cheeks start to heat as his praise continued. “I’m surprised you didn’t notice me watching you. It wasn’t just for our homework. You’re… amazing. I don’t know how you put so much emotion into your dancing at the same time as so much such skill and technique. Like in Midsummer, everything you bring to Hermia, it’s…” His eyes scanned your face again, and you wondered if you were gaping at him. It felt like it. “It’s so real. And connected. I feel like a robot, compared to you. I’ve been trying to find that connection for myself, but…” he trailed off again and let his hand slip from where it covered your own. You took your hand back, too.

A connection, he said. “Um, thank you. Maybe…” you started, hesitant. He looked at you again. “Maybe we can help each other. Practice together, outside of our rehearsals.”

He nodded. You nodded back, and then you both laughed, a little. You’d never seen him laugh before and couldn’t help but stare.

You felt a bit shaky after all of that honesty and decided to lighten the air a little. “Ok, well, one thing we definitely need to do is get to know each other, right? So we’re comfortable together.” He nodded, and his expression was so open you had to force yourself to keep going, rather than to simply marvel at the fact that he’d dropped his mask. For you. “So. How about we each get 10 questions, but we can pass if we need to. Ok?”

One side of his mouth lifted in a smile. “You sound like you’ve done this before.”

You shrugged. “It’s a good way to get to know someone, especially when you have to dance with someone new.”

Din nodded. “Alright. You go first.”

Over the next half hour you learned that Din’s favorite color was black (“come on, really?” “Fine, my second favorite is green.”), he hated smart technology (“I don’t want my fridge to talk to me. I want it to be a fridge.”), and his favorite ballet he’d ever been in was, surprisingly, Giselle (“it’s not in the normal repertoire there, and they didn’t like how I danced it. But I did. It was the most free I’ve ever felt on stage.”).

You wanted to ask more about why he’d left CBC, but that felt like too much for your first real conversation. You did learn, though, that he had a son.

“Grogu,” he said, “that’s his name. He’s five. He loves watching ballet.” Din smiled a little, looking off into the distance. “I don’t know if he’ll want to dance, but at least he likes watching me do it.”

You smiled. He was more open when he talked about his son, who must have been the little boy you saw him with, back in December. “Sounds like he sits through it better than my family.”

Din laughed, and shook his head. “We’ll see if it changes as he gets older.”

“Is that why you’re always in such a hurry?”

He nodded. “My friend takes care of him during the day, but I hate leaving him for so long. She lives close by so I try to go home for lunch, on the weekends, or to pick him up from school.”

That made sense. A new understanding of Din was forming in your mind — not an avoidant, aloof principal dancer, but a father who wanted to spend time with his son as much as he wanted to dance. Someone with more on his mind than fitting into this new company — you imagined the move must have been difficult on Grogu, too. 

“How’s he settling in here?”

Din looked at you, that little half smile back on his lips. “Just fine. He likes his new kindergarten, he’s made some friends. Better than I even hoped, really.”

You nodded. “That’s good. I’m glad he’s liking it. I bet that was a difficult transition for him. And you.”

Din sighed. “A bit. But it was necessary.”

Before you could even consider asking what he meant by that, you both heard commotion in the hall. You checked the time and realized you needed to get to your next rehearsal. Din stood first and offered you his hand.

You slid your hand into his, and he squeezed it as he pulled you up. 

“This was a good idea,” he said, squeezing your hand again. “Do you think next week will go better?”

You nodded. “I think so. But do you want to meet beforehand, to talk about the choreography? Maybe figure out where we can find each other instead of missing each other.”

He nodded. “I’d like that.”

…

You felt lighter after your conversation with Din. You hadn’t solved the problem, of course, but you’d at least talked to each other. It felt like the air was clearer, now that you both knew the other was struggling in some way. Neither of you was alone in it.

Over the weekend you focused on Midsummer — it was a big deal for you, getting cast as Hermia. You were excited to dance through her turmoil. She was so torn, as a character, and you wanted to portray that on stage. 

As you prepared and stretched on Friday night, you thought about what Din had said — that he couldn’t figure out how to dance in a new way, and that he felt like a robot. You shook your head. A robot? You weren’t sure what he was feeling while he danced, but Din never looked like a robot when he was performing. He’d said, too, that he loved being in Giselle, an overall more emotional performance than much of CBC’s usual repertoire. That he’d felt free. 

You thought about his face, every time you’d seen behind the mask, and you knew he could do it. You just had to help him figure out how to find that connection again, and how to lower the mask more while he was performing.

As you stepped out on stage that night, you let that certainty ground you. As you performed your variation, you’d never felt more like you were floating.

...

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a/n: they talked!!! what do we think?

Pas de deux & partnering -- Partnering in ballet is hard! There has to be a lot of trust and communication between partners, even though you don't necessarily need to be like best friends. These two are so advanced and have been in companies for so long that they are able to jump into something like this, but they still have to establish a partnering relationship, which is tough! To give you an idea of just some of what goes into partnering, here's a video of "beginning tips" (skip to around ~12:00 for some interesting stuff on balance). Din is used to verrrrry formal partnering, and that is some of the reason for their communication issues.

Midsummer - reader is dancing the role of Hermia in A Midsummer's Night Dream, which can go to either a principal or a soloist, just depending on the company. Here's a nice overview of the two acts and the ballet from the San Francisco Ballet. Here's a video of a dancer breaking down the role. Here's a couple examples of Hermia's famous variation (solo): one, two. Hermia has other big moments in the ballet but I've mostly been mentioning reader prepping for the solo. Companies might also spread out the roles over different nights or weekends -- in this case reader has Hermia for one weekend, like Adrian has Puck for one weekend (which isn't really mentioned in the fic because I didn't think it was relevant). (Is it a little unbelievable that reader is so unsure about her possible promotion if she got this role? Maybe. Soloists could get this role, especially a first soloist!)

Spring fairy - reader is dancing the role of the spring fairy in Cinderella, too. This and Midsummer are big story ballets that would draw an audience. Here's another two performances of the spring fairy variation and all of the fairies in one video from a 2003 Royal Ballet production. Spring starts ~2:30. The wiki page has a nice overview of the numbers in each act, so you can see where the fairies come in. The wiki lists 4 acts, though, and most companies do it like ABT I think -- with 2 acts. And here's a full length recording.

Giselle - Din mentions this briefly and we'll learn more later, but here's an overview of the ballet. (it's one of my favs)

tag list coming in a reblog!

[whocaresstillthelouvre]

WIP Wednesday

Thank you for the tags @beefrobeefcal, @schnarfer, @almostfoxglove, and @magpiepills!

I need to do this today because tomorrow at this time I will be meeting Marcus and Lucius and you may never hear from me again.

So, that whole moodboard for my next fic that I posted last week... well, the first chapter is done and once my grammar angel @devineconjuring does another read through, it'll be ready for posting. I'm very nervous about it, this is the most work I've done for a fic. Outlining, researching, trying to organize the swirls of thoughts in my head, etc. I hope you like it just as much as I do.

So, without further ado... here's a moodboard (lol it's just horses and hot dudes... which yeah... that's the fic) and a preview...

He brings Daisy to a halt, his brows furrowed in concentration. “What do you think?” he asks, his voice laced with concern. You approach the two of them. “Here, feel this,” you say, rubbing your hand along her hip. “There’s tension in the muscle.” He reaches over, his large hand brushing against yours as he feels the spot. His brow furrows in concentration, trying to search for what you feel. “I’m not sure I…” he begins, his confused voice trailing off. You place your hand over his without thinking, guiding it along Daisy’s flank. Something sparks against your skin when it presses against his, sending a shiver down your spine. Your hand looks so small above his large one. “Do you feel that?” you ask softly, pressing his fingers gently into the muscle. “There’s a slight knot here. I think that’s causing her to favor.” He leans in closer, his chest nearly meeting your back as he concentrates. You can feel his warm, steady breath on your neck–it heats your body, a feeling you’ve felt for him that you’ve been trying to push away revealing itself. Daisy shifts, causing you to stumble slightly. Marcus's strong arm instinctively wraps around your waist to steady you. "Careful," he whispers, his deep voice rumbles through you. Your head turns to thank him, but the words catch in your throat. He’s so close, his face mere inches away from yours. From this close, you can see the flecks of gold shine through the dark of his eyes. He glances down at your lips for a moment before meeting your eyes again.

Anyways, tomorrow I see Gladiator II so I've already fucked myself with being normal about this movie when I posted three threesome fics before even stepping into a theatre. So, goodbye forever I guess. Come visit me when I get locked up for flooding the state of New Jersey tomorrow. Please bring me Twix.

NPT: @schnarfer, @sawymredfox, @burntheedges, @jolapeno, @goodwithcheese

@bitchesuntitled, @secretelephanttattoo, @maggiemayhemnj, @ace-turned-confused, @mothandpidgeon

@yopossum, @luxurychristmaspudding, @justagalwhowrites, @moonlitbirdie, @jennaispunk