#thanks for a wondeful year

[flamie-42]

Soukoku’s New Year

A little present from me since I havent updated my fics in a little bit, sorry :(

It’s New Year’s Eve, Chuuya gets a mysterious text from his old partner.

Mackerel: come to our place at the port

It’s late and Chuuya is already 2 glasses deep into his celebratory end of year wine he had been saving.

But it’s Dazai and so he begrudgingly puts on his jacket and a scarf. The sound of his motorcycle carries him down the streets until he reaches a warehouse at the end of the docs.

He climbes onto the roof and there he finds his (ex) partner sitting at the peak of the roof. Without saying a word he sits down next to the taller man.

You actually came

He has a tired smile on his face as he looks off into the black abyss of the ocean.

Of course I did

It was the same response he always gave when he got texts like this one.

Why did you text

His tone was standoffish as usual but he proceeded to flop down beside Dazai on the metal roof.

I wanted to see my Chibi! It’s been a while

He was cheerful but Chuuya could see the sadness in his eyes as he spouted his usual nonsense

Yeah I’m sure, what’s the real reason

He had placed his hand on Dazai’s to force the man to look at him instead of avoiding his line of sight. Dazai’s well manicured facade fell as he did so and a more melancholy look appeared on his features

The rest of the agency is throwing a party but….

It seemed as though that thought would go farther but instead he changed his tune and switched topics

Remember our first New Years? I dragged you down here to watch the fireworks and you wouldn’t shut up about how much you hated me?

Chuuya laughed to himself, It had been a long seven years since that date and so much had changed. As he though about all of the previous years a warm body slumped against his shoulder and he could feel Dazai's hair against his neck.

Yeah you made me stay until the fireworks went off and then tried to convince me to kiss you for "good luck in the new year"

He felt a warm laugh from the man lounging on his shoulder at that comment. He pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and searched for a lighter he knew was stored in his jacket. Not finding it he huffed and motioned to Dazai. Seconds later a small flame bloomed between their huddled form and Chuuya used it to ignite the stick set between his fingers.

What if that's what I'm trying to do this year?

Dazai's muffled voice filtered up to him as he blew a puff of smoke into the darkness. Chuuya looked down to try and see if the bastard was joking or not only to be met with his unruly mop of hair blocking his face as he leaned on Chuuya's shoulder. Without seeing his old partner's face he was unable to know the real intention so he merely scoffed and took another drag of the cigarette in his hand.

mhm sure Dazai

It was the only practical response to make and it seemed to satiate Dazai as Chuuya's attention was drawn away to the sparks of color that began to paint the night sky. A loud boom echoed through the quiet port and Chuuya remembered why they always used to watch the fireworks from this spot. It almost felt as though you were right in front of the bursts as they erupted over the quiet port. He hardly noticed the absence of the weight that had just previously been attached to his shoulder until he felt a hand turn his face to the side.

Dazai was now staring right into his eyes and if Chuuya didn't know better he would have thought there was a slight blush across his cheeks. He leaned in closer until their lips fell together in a much too short kiss. As Dazai pulled back Chuuya was sure that there was a blush adorning his cheeks. As quickly as it had happened Dazai had turned away to look out at the fireworks again.

Chuuya shook his head and decided to ignore what he was sure was a goofy grin on his face. He flicked the stub of the cigarette away and pulled Dazai's face back towards him.

Come back here, Mackerel. I need some more luck

[volturissideslut]

Hiii! I loved your latest angst! Could you do something for the kings(poly) where the reader is being ignored and compared to (just like the last one), but she's a mother figure to the guards? So one day maybe the kings found one of the guards conforting reader while she asks them why she's not enough. With a fluff ending if possible :)

Thank you in advance!

𝖁𝖔𝖑𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖎 𝖐𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘 (𝕻𝖔𝖑𝖞) + 𝕲𝖚𝖆𝖗𝖉 (𝕻𝖑𝖆𝖙𝖔𝖓𝖎𝖈)

I don't feel like Aro gets enough spotlight in some of my fics so lets say he's the one to find you

It's a strange feeling, isn't it? Not feeling able to open up to the one's you love most, the ones who are supposed to love you - the ones fated to be with you. And yet that was the exact predicament you seemed to be in at this second.

Sat in the garden they were supposed to grow with you (though it did end up just being you caring for the plants yourself) with your head buried in a shoulder to cry on. But not your lovers, no. Your child's. While biologically you were not the mother to a miss Jane Volturi or a mister Alec Volturi, you could not be happier with the situation you found yourself in with them. It had been so long since they lost their mother to those wretched townsfolk, and yet you seemed to integrate with them so seamlessly. They were fast to trust you, truly a great surprise to others.

But as one fell head over heels for you (platonically, of course) the rest surely did follow not far behind.

"I don't understand" your voice was thick with would-be-tears as you sat side by side with Jane under the willow tree you had grown all those years ago. "Why am I not enough anymore? Why do they not love me anymore? All they do is distance themselves"

A pale hand rakes itself comfortingly through your hair, but no voice follows. Jane, ever the loyal one to her masters, could offer you no answer. She herself couldn't understand their changes.

"Perhaps it is just that they are busy with the preparations for battle, but yet they remain so cold constantly" you sigh, determining it was time to get up and crawl out of this whole of self pity you had dug for yourself. Honestly, you were fully grown and could suck it up for now... right?

However, unbeknown to you, Aro had chosen today of all days to watch over some of the newer guards and make sure the job was getting done well for himself. This had led to him being within earshot of your small doubt-session with Jane (not that he had to be far to hear with vampiric abilities and all)

Had he truly been neglectful of his mate without knowing? Maybe the guard could wait for today, and maybe his and his brothers' personal oversight over the preparations wasn't truly this necessary. And with that, some time was pushed aside with you in mind.

-----

To say you where surprised when Aro was in his chambers was an understatement. And, wow, how silly does that sound? Why should you be surprised that a man was in his own chambers? But with the way time had been divided lately it still did come as quite a shock to the system.

"Ah, Cara Mia, I was waiting for you. I was wonde- ... Are you quite alright, dear?" He interrupts himself seeing the expression on your face, head tilted to the side. Only when you give him a tight lipped smile and a curt nod does he continue, choosing to ignore your current look of discomfort though it does send a pang to his heart. "Yes, well, as a was sating. I was hoping you would accompany me to a theatre tonight. It has been a while, hasn't it?"

Though before you could answer, Caius, dramatic as ever, storms into the room and almost sweeps Aro's neatly organised chamber into a hurricane. "I came as soon as I heard. Where is she?" Poor Aro almost gets an elbow to the face as Caius spins to look.

"Brother, hush, she is here." long arms drape themselves over you and the smell of books, musk, and trees surrounds you. Marcus' brown hair is pulled into a low ponytail, that being the only reason it isn't sprawled all over you as you're pulled deeply into his chest from behind. When did he even get here?

With a pink to the bridge of his nose, Aro steps to you and holds your face in the palm of his hand. "You should have told us, dearest. You should have let us know instead of putting up this facade. We will always have time for you. I promised you eternity, did I not?"

With a nod from you you're released from Marcus' hold and brought into Aro's.

"That goes for the rest of us as well" a blond bob appears before you and spins you into his own grasp like he has done many times before when you danced. (Marcus and Aro used to get irritated by it, but all is forgiven when they hear you giggle and spin with him, both in the ballroom and now)

"Now, correct me if i'm wrong, but i think we are long overdue some quality time"

[these-written-reveries]

I have a special request

may we have a fluffy platonic oneshot for hawks w/ a reader with four angel wings where they’re a third year at UA but never got a date to prom, so he decides they deserve at least one dance and shows up as their date?

please and thank you 🪽

You absolutely may! I hope I did your request justice! You didn't specify, so I made Reader a hero course student. I know this is a platonic fic, but I can totally see the potential for a friends to lovers story here (don't mind me, I'm just a huge sucker for that trope lol). Thanks for the request! ❤️

Birds of a Feather

‣ Pairing: Keigo Takami/Hawks x GN!Reader (Platonic)

‣ Summary: Your good friend Hawks finds out you don't have a date to prom and decides to fix that problem himself!

‣ Genre: Fluff (angst, if you squint)

‣ Warnings: none

‣ Word Count: 2,042

‣ A/N: UA is considered a university in my fics. I know that universities generally don’t have proms, but this is fiction, so we can pretend whatever we want! Cue: UA third-year prom, feat. Hawks as a surprise guest! Let's go! (P.S. - I was listening to Words by Gregory Alan Isakov as I wrote this. I think it's a very nice song for slow dancing ♡)

➼ Main Masterlist ➼Keigo/Hawks Masterlist

If anyone were to tell you before that you’d end up becoming such close friends with the number two hero, Hawks, you’d never believe them.

To your past self’s shock, it had really happened. How exactly? You weren’t quite sure. Maybe it started on the first day of your internship? He immediately complimented your beautiful set of white tandem wings, asking you questions about them with pure awe and fascination in his eyes. You found it quite endearing of him.

Or maybe it was when you took down your first villain together and realized you made a kick-ass team? After that day, he immediately offered you a permanent position at his agency, once you graduated UA. You couldn’t have been more thrilled to receive this news from someone you had always admired and looked up to.

Perhaps it was after that, when you both bonded over your shared experiences related to having big wings in a mostly-wingless world? That day was one you would always think back on with fondness.

You told him a story about how, one time, you crashed mid-flight into a huge mud pit. You and your friend spent hours removing all the dried clumps between your feathers. He one-upped your story with one of his own, telling you about the time that he came home after fighting a villain with a petroleum oil quirk that had managed to coat his wings with the gooey substance, which made it nearly impossible to fly. After struggling for hours to remove it himself, with little success, he had to embarrassingly enlist the help of his assistant.

“I hope you have her a raise, after that,” you chuckled.

He joined you in your laughter. “Oh, I did. A very generous one, at that. She was a real trooper that day."

The two of you laughed a lot over your shared stories. Both of you were grateful to have a friend that understood the parts of yourselves that most others didn’t, especially Keigo, who barely had anyone he could call a true friend for almost his entire life. It was refreshing, being friends with you.

Because of this, he quickly grew to be extra protective of you, from the moment he took you under his wing. He kept close tabs on you and checked in on you whenever he had the time. It was always so nice getting to hear how things were going for you, how your grades were, and what the newest gossip was at UA. He’d always say, half-jokingly, that if anyone gave you trouble, he'd fly over and put an end to it immediately, which always got a laugh out of you. He just really enjoyed having "normal" conversations with someone about "normal" things, for once—especially since he never got to experience a lot of these things, such as public school or prom. It was fun getting to vicariously live through you, in this way.

Towards the end of his parole shift, he thought about you, wondering if you were having a good time at your prom that night. You had been looking forward to it for a while, telling him about what you planned to wear and who you secretly hoped would be your date. Last he spoke to you, you had yet to confirm an official date to the dance, but he was almost certain that problem was resolved by now. You were a wonderful person with gorgeous looks and an amazing personality, he had no doubt in your ability to acquire many “promposals”, or whatever the kids called it these days.

It wasn’t until he checked the recent post on your social media account that he realized you, in fact, did not have a date.

At first, he was utterly confused.

Why hadn’t you told him? He would’ve gone with you in a heartbeat.

Then, he remembered just how considerate of a person you were. He told you he’d be working late shifts all week and you likely didn’t bother to ask because of that reason.

He looked at the picture of you in your stunning prom outfit before checking the time. A sigh pushed past his lips as he took off into the sky, flying home as fast as he could.

Worst prom ever.

You felt like a total outsider at this place, despite being surrounded by familiar faces and music. Your friends all had dates and were busy having fun with them. Meanwhile, you busied yourself at the punch table, sighing as you poured yourself another cup. Some of the others without dates lingered in this corner of the large room, but none of them seemed all that keen on striking up a conversation with you. They all seemed to be too busy drowning in their own pools of boredom, longing, and self-pity.

You began to wonder why you even came to this event when you knew you didn’t have a date and your friends would all be too preoccupied with their own to entertain you. Well, you knew why, and it started and ended with a giant birdman by the name of Hawks. He had gifted you with a generous sum of money to buy yourself a nice outfit for prom after you had casually brought up in conversation that you were trying to save money for it. He refused to take it back, so you really didn’t have a choice but to use it. You ended up buying a gorgeous outfit that really complimented your wings. In the words of Hawks, you looked like an “ethereal angel”.

After buying the outfit and looking forward to the event for weeks, you couldn’t not go. Not without disappointing yourself, and probably Hawks too. He was always the one telling you that you needed to live life to the fullest and enjoy your experience at UA, while it lasted.

What you weren’t expecting was to feel so down and dejected, lingering by the punch table as you wistfully observed everyone else having fun like a lonely wallflower. You wanted to take Hawk’s advice and try to enjoy the moment anyway, but you found it too awkward to go out onto the dance floor without someone to dance with, and you weren’t too keen on asking someone you weren’t well-acquainted with to dance.

Still, you stole a glance at the other wallflowers in the corner, almost considering the idea.

You didn’t have a chance to, though, because you were distracted by the gasps and squeals of people all across the room. Following their eyes, you found the target of their attention to be a familiar red-winged man, in an unfamiliar looking outfit. An expensive-looking suit with a boutonniere pinned to the left lapel of his suit jacket. He flashed a charming smile and gave everyone a quick wave as his eyes scanned the room, finally landing on you.

You stared in shock as he walked over to you.

“Why, hello there, angel. Fancy meeting you here,” he said, smirking at your shocked expression.

“Hawks! What are you doing here?” you asked him with wide eyes.

He shrugged. “You know the saying, ‘birds of a feather flock together’? I heard my little chickadee was in need of a prom date, so naturally, I flew right over.”

You were aware of everyone’s eyes on you—something you had grown pretty used to after being with Hawks in public a good handful of times—but you were far too surprised to care as you looked him up and down.

“Your outfit. The colors match mine…”

“Of course they do. What kind of prom date do you think I am? I think what you mean to say is, I look handsome, right?” he teased.

You giggled at this. He always found a way to get you laughing with his witty remarks.

Nodding, you smiled up at him. “You do. Thank you for coming. You really didn’t have to do this.”

He gave you a small eye roll. “I wouldn’t be here unless I wanted to. And you deserve a proper prom experience. That said…”

Your eyes grew wide as he pulled out a beautiful corsage from behind his back. The flowers matched your outfit and his boutonniere perfectly.

"Hawks..." You couldn’t help the tears that began to build in your eyes.

"Oh, don't cry, angel! Your eyes will get all red and puffy! That's no good for prom pictures!" he said, brow scrunched in concern as he looked at you, partially wondering if he’d done something wrong, until you spoke.

"Sorry, it's just...nobody has ever done anything like this for me before. I was really thinking I'd be ending tonight on a bad note, until you showed,” you confessed, carefully wiping the underside of your eyes.

Keigo offered you a sympathetic smile as he stepped forward, holding out his hand, palm up. You held your left hand out to him and watched as he slipped the corsage onto your wrist.

"Well, let's make the most out of the time we have left. I know I kinda arrived last minute, but I also managed to make some arrangements for us that I think you’ll enjoy,” he said.

You looked at him, curious and confused. “What do you mean? Are we leaving?”

“Nope! We’re staying right here! Just us, the photographer, and the DJ,” he smiled, turning to look at the room, which was now completely empty, save for the two people he had mentioned.

How had you missed that?

“H-How?” was all that you could get out, as you looked around the room.

“The dance is technically over now, so I just extended our time a bit. Made a couple calls on my way here, bribed a few people, and here we are!” he explained, cheerfully.

You tried not to let your emotions get the better of you as you looked at him in astonishment.

“Hawks…I don’t even know what to say.”

He chuckled. “Well, I hope you’ll know what to say in response to my next question. There is only one right answer, so that narrows things down for ya’.”

You looked at him curiously, feeling a small pang of nervousness in your stomach as you awaited his question.

He bent forward into a bow, his eyes remaining locked with yours as he extended his right hand to you, his lips curved into a playful smile.

“May I have this dance?”

All nervousness instantly vanished and was replaced by pure giddiness as a bright smile overtook your face.

“Yes, you may,” you said, giggling as you placed your left hand in his.

He led you out to the middle of the dance floor and gave a nod to the DJ, who began playing a slow song through the surrounding speakers.

Turning to face you, Keigo gently grasped your right hand with his left, holding it near his chest. You smiled a bit sheepishly as you placed your free hand on his left bicep, just as he placed his right hand onto your middle back.

The two of you began to sway to the music. After a moment, you felt more at ease, finding that you seemed to move more naturally with each slow beat of the music.

You smiled at him. “I can’t thank you enough for doing all of this for me.”

Keigo earnestly returned your expression. “This is the least I can do for my special, feathered friend. I’m only sorry I couldn’t make it sooner.”

You scoffed. “Please. This is more than enough.”

“I’m glad you’re happy, angel.”

“I really am. Best prom ever,” you beamed at him.

Your contagious smile elicited a happy chuckle from him as he spun you around, being careful of your wings as he did so.

He pulled you back towards him and the two of you continued to dance together, laughing when you bumped him with your wings or when he accidentally stepped on your foot a little. You couldn’t have been happier, nor more grateful. Not only did you get the most perfect prom experience, but you got to spend it with your favorite red-feathered friend.

Like true birds of a feather, you knew you’d be flying together for a long time to come.

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‣ Have an idea for a fic you’d like me to write? Send me a request here. But first, make sure to read my Request Info!

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‣ Taglist: @jslittlebirdie @xkatsukizukux @itsjudymoody @fandomenbylover

[badfanfictionaire]

The road before him was, thankfully, bathed in moonlight.  There were no street lights on this long and winding strip.  He was headed to meet his new assistant on the case he’d been working, since his last assistant turned out to have a weak stomach.  Which, wasn’t helpful when it came to investigating things of the supernatural variety.  Alien gunk can be pretty damn disgusting. 

His new assistant was a transfer from the Los Angeles office, he hoped she was ready to battle the rainy Washington weather…

He pulls up outside the airport departures section and puts the van in park.  Within moments there’s a light rap on his window, and he looks over to see a petite strawberry blond smiling at him.  Christ, he thinks, she’s barely over five feet.  It figures, the FBI wasn’t going to fork over one of their top field agents to help work on his cases.  No one ever really believed in his work, despite the evidence he’d been collecting for nearly a decade. 

He rolls the window down. 

“You must be Special Agent Cunningham.”

“Chrissy is fine,” she says, “And you must be Special Agent Munson?”

“Eddie is fine,” he says with a grin, “Well, climb aboard.”

“Thank you for picking me up, a cab ride would have cost me an arm and a leg.”

“Of course, gives me a chance to get to know you better anyhow.”

He looks her over and tries not to let his eyes linger too long for fear of being creepy. She’s got a long dark coat, black slacks, black low heeled boots, and a soft gray sweater.  Her hair is tied back with a thick black bow.  

“Well, what would you like to know?” 

“Why do you want to work in this department?”

She chuckles, “Right to the point, huh? Well, because… Do you ever feel like you’re losing your mind?” 

“Um, you know, just on a daily basis.”

“I actually joined the FBI specifically to work supernatural cases,” she says shyly, “Because I’ve seen… things.  Things I can’t explain.”

“UFOs, UAPs, ETs, that sort of thing?” 

When she giggles he can see the slight crookedness of her two front teeth. 

“When I was a little girl, one of my classmates, Barbara Holland, she just… disappeared.”

“And you suspect it was an abduction.”

“I do,” she nods, “All the witnesses were just kids, the police didn’t believe any of what they said.  But I’ve never forgotten it, any of it.  And years later I had my own out-of-body experience.  Things like that really make you question if we’re alone in this solar system.”

“You know, I like you already Chrissy. Most people give me some textbook answer, but not you.”

“Well, I’m not very textbook,” she says with a smirk, “What about you, why’d you want to work this department?”

“Not too dissimilar a story to yours actually.  A kid in town, Will, he was missing for a week and when he was found he claimed he’d been trapped in some sort of parallel dimension.  What he described was… unexplainable, at least with traditional science.”

“But you believed him.”

“Yeah, I did. I knew Will, he wasn’t one to lie.”

“Where is he now?”

“I wish I knew,” he says wistfully, “He and his boyfriend moved away after graduation, none of us ever heard from them again.  Will was never right after what happened, can’t say I blame him.  The stuff I’ve seen on the job, if it’s anything like what he saw when he was taken? Life changing, and not in a good way.”

They pull up at the address she’d given him, a sad-looking motel.  

“Well, this is me. Thanks again for the ride.”

“They didn’t hook you up with an apartment?”

“They did, but a pipe broke, so now it’s being repaired before I can move in. Who knows how long that’ll take.”

“Stay with me in the meantime,” he blurts. 

“You barely know me,” she says, blushing.

“I have a guest room,” he assures, “And two cats, do you like cats?”

She grins. “I love cats.”

“Great, Mulder and Scully are going to love you then.”

He pulls away from the motel and gets back on the main road, once again thankful for the moonlight keeping the road ahead illuminated.  The stars twinkle above them, and Eddie can’t help but wonder how many of them are actually alien space crafts scanning the Earth.  Someday he would know, when they gave him an actual stipend.  For now, he was going to have to make do with investigating the paranormal here on the ground, with his new right-hand gal.  He was starting to like this new assignment a lot more than he’d anticipated.

👻👻👻👻

(Read on AO3)

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s4 episode 24 thoughts

season FINALE!!! whew, it has been an emotional time these last few months, let me tell you that. i’m wondering how or if this will be wrapped up. 

the episode description makes no mention of scully’s illness, just more aliens. we always end the seasons with aliens. i imagine that this will also be a cliffhanger, so i’m trying to brace myself for that now.

(author's note: there was nothing short of reaching enlightenment that could have prepared me for this, and even if i had ascended to nirvana, i might have been ripped back out by the sheer tragedy of this storyline)

but damn, with a title like gethsemane, i’m expecting even more tears than usual. 

(author's note: yeah)

let us no longer delay. 

we begin with some videos from 1972, including carl sagan! what’s he doing here? well, he’s doing alien things. are you surprised?

the man on the screen is speaking about the probability of contacting aliens. he says it is very high.

and then cut to scully in some very yellow lighting, politely trying to get to a crime scene to do some FBI business!

wait. is that mulder’s couch???

she just needed to make an ID on a body and BRO WHAT. DID SHE FIND MULDER DEAD??? IN HIS OWN APARTMENT?????

HELLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOO???!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

now she’s in a meeting room with a lot of important people…. 

she’s explaining how she was assigned to the x files four years ago…. and she’s explaining the mulder lore.

“i come here today, four years later, to report on the illegitimacy of agent mulder’s work” <- WOAH WHAT??? betrayal?????

“it is my scientific opinion that he became over the course of these years a victim- a victim of his own false hopes, and in his belief in the biggest of lies” <- that is so sad????!?!??

HELLO??? WHAT??? hey. what’s going on. is that really scully? or is it an alien?

well. they’ve gotten me both hooked and worried. 

is she lying to save him?? is he dead?? is she preserving his reputation in death?? because she said that stuff in the past tense… or maybe he was killed and she will be next if she doesn’t renounce everything???

WHAT IS AFOOT HERE.

scully i just publicly declared you my favorite, you can’t make me take that back…

(author's note: i should have never doubted her <3)

ohhhh fancy, the intro says “believe the lie”

helicopter over the yukon in canada. some guys say the stuff at camp is unbelievable. that's quite a jump in tone from before.

and now they’re marching up the hill, saying they’re very excited etc etc. it looks to be exhausting work. the score is very suspenseful.

they arrive in a cave and shake hands as the newcomers are introduced. and what is in there but…. a frozen alien???

i was hoping it would be a perfectly preserved mammoth :( but okay… whatever… (sadly kicks dirt around)

back to the meeting room with scully!!! she says there have been recent developments on the assumption that aliens exist… mulder was contacted by a man whose “pursuit of this evidence seemed to coincide with his own”, and she says he was duped!!!! fooled by scientific slight of hand!!! 

and she’s here to expose this lie… and to expose his work for what it is….

GIRL, WHAT WENT DOWN???

now a cut to some sort of scully family event!! she’s telling a story about her brother bill. will we finally get to see him!? yes!! here he is!!! like their father, he is also in the navy, and seems to be pretty decorated. 

and he says he sent her a birthday card, to which she says “thanks for remembering this year” LMAOOO get him again for me!!

(why does no one remember her birthday!!! i will cry!!!)

the priest arrives… and scully’s face falls…. why is she sad to see him? and why did he get invited??? i’m stressed. 

father mccue is talking to her about drifting from the church and feeling awkward, but her mom asked him to come tonight. he says turning back to faith is essential in times like this. she says she hasn’t felt a need to draw on faith for strength, that she has some. and she won’t coming running back now.

huh, i wonder if she thinks that “running back” to the church will be admitting defeat. she says she’d be lying to herself and to him if she did that.

maybe she has only lightly been dabbling in god-related affairs since revelations, but not enough to want to return to mass.

but a phone rings… it’s mulder!!!

he says he’s sorry to interrupt her dinner, (so at least there’s some self awareness there) but someone named arlinsky at the smithsonian contacted him about a mountain in canada.

he says she needs to meet him RIGHT AWAY. BRO???????? she looks SO sad when he said that. 

she would do ANYTHING for him. and tbh i see why she wants to expose him now. fuck that. 

she’s assuring him that it’s okay, and he’s trying to apologize, but i’m still mad at him, and scully should be too. and who the hell is this arlinsky guy? apparently he was involved in a ufo photo faking?? but he claims he’s innocent?? THAT is what disrupted her dinner??

he says he won’t tell her what she’s about to see….

he has pictures of an alien frozen in the mountain and she looks deeply unimpressed. girl me too! 

apparently the alien has been in the ice for 200 years. and babcock (arlinsky's colleague) was part of the team that found it.

arlinsky says it’s a very remote location for it to be a hoax, to which mulder once again displays some self awareness with his “well if you’re gonna go, why not go all the way?” but again, not enough to prevent himself from getting in this situation in the first place

arlinsky pulls out the ice core samples from each side of the body, and says he sincerely believes they have a full corpse of an alien. 

but family dinner. i care about that more.

mulder says no one will believe him, and the same people that hid the truth will be asked to authenticate it, so there will be no confirmation either. which is why arlinsky wants him to go and get the body, because he knows it means everything to mulder

ohhhh scully says she has no opinion… “this is your holy grail, mulder, not mine” <- i am glad she is admitting she has no horse in this race

OHHH “proving the existence of alien life is not my last dying wish” <-yeah remind him that you’re literally dying and you can’t waste time because he SEEMS TO HAVE FORGOTTEN!!!!

“this is not some selfish pet project of mine, scully” <- well if it’s for the sake of your sister, but you’re hurting the people around you for it, that is still selfish actually 

woah woah woah i had to write this next part out...

“you already believe, mulder, what difference will it make? i mean, what will proof change for you?”

“if someone could prove to you the existence of god, would it change you?”

“only if it has been disproven”

“then you accept the possibility that belief in god is a lie?” (where are you going with this…? this is a sensitive subject for her!)

“i don’t think about it, actually. and i don’t think it can be proven”

“but what if it could be? wouldn’t that knowledge be worth seeking? or is it easier to go on believing the lie?”

this exchange made me feel frustrated. i wish he would be less ahab-like all of the time. yes, it is a huge deal that someone found an alien. but i see no reason why he couldn't have gone to that meeting by himself. and bringing god into this when he knows that's something very personal to her is a low blow. i get the point he was trying to make about believing the lie and all that, but c'mon man.

mulder honey, i get that this is a big deal to you, but time and place.

she tells him that she cannot go with him, but then he says, well can you just look at the ice core samples please. and she nods her head reluctantly. 

cut back to the big meeting room with scully and other very important people

“what i couldn’t tell agent mulder, what i had only just learned myself, was that the cancer which had been diagnosed in me several months earlier had metastasized. and the doctors told me, short of a miracle, it would continue to aggressively invade my body, advancing faster each day towards the inevitable” <- OH MY GOD??? oh my god. 

but why wouldn't she tell him... did she think that telling him then would interrupt his alien quest?? and she didn't want to do that because she knows how important it is to him? or did she not want him to worry?

because i would have told him!!! i would have said it right then and there!! but she is very different from me...

the fact that she is aware that she has so little time left and STILL left her dinner to go deal with his nonsense… scully, i fear you give too much and need to do things for yourself, please please

back on the mountain, they’re cutting the ice with a chainsaw. feels a bit unscientific, but i mean i guess that’s how you get that stuff done.

one guy is loading a pistol??? saying he doesn’t know the men well. that’s suspicious. i don’t care for it. 

there’s something in the ice. maybe a bubble. or a casting hole!! of liquid poured!! could this be a fake?? but the angle wouldn’t make sense, says one guy. hmm... i'm not sure what to think.

did they put a fake alien all the way up here…? and why is gun guy looking around all shady like…?

back to the core samples in DC. the scientist says he found some hybrid cells in there, not plants nor animals, but chimera, and he wants to get them under a microscope. hmm… can we clone da alien :3

someone walks into the cave in the yukon with a shotgun!!! and kills all of the men!!!!! what the hell!!! is this a real alien then?????

this happens just as others begin the hike up the mountain, including the smithsonian guy arlinsky. and mulder!! i didn’t even recognize him under all those baggy coats and sunglasses. wow. i feel like a fake fan.

someone was supposed to meet them and guide them up the mountain, but there’s no one there, and all the supplies are frozen over. so they begin the hike on their own, following the tracks from the others.

oh! the find someone keeled over in the snow, to which mulder remarks “funny place to take a nap”. again with the inappropriate jokes as a coping mechanism. it’s the guide that was supposed to meet them!! and he was shot and killed!!!

well, the alien is starting to look more authentic as the bodies pile up. 

back at the lab, scully is looking for the scientist, but she doesn’t find him. what she does find is a guy stealing the core sample???

he shoves her down the stairs?????? what the HELL!!!!

see, i thought the alien was a lie at first, but now it’s starting to appear compelling.

mulder and smithsonian guy arlinsky have arrived at the cave, and he pulls out his gun. they find all of the bodies from the crew, and no alien!!! it has been carved out!!!

mulder hypothesizes that perhaps someone was listening to their radio comms and came to hide their alien knowledge, but they hear some groans. and babcock is still alive!!

he says that the alien body wasn’t taken, but that he buried it!! and sure enough, they find it beneath their feet. mulder looks at it with amazement. big moment for a guy like him.

but scully!!! her face is bruised and her pristine lab coat is covered in blood! bill comes in with a change of clothes. and he didn’t tell their mom what happened. 

“i was knocked down a flight of stairs… but i’m okay, luckily”

“you’re not okay, dana” <- OHHHH BILL. please tread carefully.

he says he knows about her cancer and she says mom wasn’t supposed to tell him!!!

she says she doesn’t want sympathy, and he accuses her of thinking she can cure herself. which feels like a terribly low blow.

OHHHH MY GOD. wait hold on. hold on.

“what are you doing at work getting knocked down and beaten up? what are you trying to prove? that you’re gonna go out fighting?”

“oh now, come on, bill”

“do you know what mom is going through? why do you think i didn’t tell her when they called?”

“what should i be doing?” (said with great frustration)

“we have a responsibility, not just to ourselves, but to the people in our lives”

“hey, look, just-just because i haven’t bared my soul to you or to father mccue or to god, it doesn’t mean that i’m not responsible to what’s important to me” (this was very defensive and exasperated in tone)

“to what? to who? this guy mulder? well, where is he, dana? where is he through all this?”

well…. i want to defend mulder, to say he doesn’t know, but just because he doesn’t know that her cancer is getting worse doesn’t mean he shouldn’t have been more sensitive. he actually has been very conscientious, which makes this whole alien thing all the more sudden and infuriating!!!

she is stunned into silence as bill looks at her with fury. and she doesn’t say anything more to him beyond “thank you for coming” <-god, what was she supposed to even say?? i get trying to shake her back to reality, but who did that cruelty help??

bill, i get what you were trying to do, but you pissed me off in the way that you did it. do you always show the people you care for that you love them by screaming at them? because if so. not a very effective tactic.

mulder is unboxing the alien, which is now in DC, and he’s trying to thaw it with the smithsonian guy arlinsky and babcock! who is doing better! despite taking a shotgun bullet.

babcock asks if it were a hoax, why would there be 6 men dead over it, which is a good question. 

ewwww, the alien looks so gross….

with the help of another FBI agent, she finds the guy who hurt her!!!! and he’s working for the government!!!! in the pentagon‘s research facility!!! his name is kritschgau. they should not hire people in the government who assault women in stairwells.

mulder and crew are getting x rays and scans of the alien. mulder is wearing a sweater, but i’m still mad at him so i will NOT make note of how cute it is. 

the alien body is gross as hell. they’re filming an autopsy. ohhh he’s cutting the eye membrane off. EWWWW. EWWW.

now the ribs…… ewww ewww ewwww EWW IT CRUNCHES. NASTY. he takes the ribs out and starts looking at the heart and lungs and some other white stuff in the chest. gag.

meanwhile, scully’s casing the joint looking for the dude kritschgau who assaulted her, and she finds him, tracks him down, and nearly hits him with her car!!! she has her gun and is going after him!!!! he is under arrest!!! 

she is NOT messing around. we see a level of scully fury here that is incredibly potent and shown to us infrequently. i enjoy it, but it also makes me sad, because it shows how much stress she is under.

it appears he has slipped away, but she catches him!!!!! yes ma'am!!!!

kritschgau says that if he gets arrested, they’ll kill him. “they” being the same people that gave her cancer!!! how tf does he know about that???”

meanwhile, the alien organs are being weighed.

then cutscene back to the big meeting with scully!!! she’s telling them about how they smuggled the corpse back, saying mulder was ready to believe it was an alien.

but kritschgau convinced her it was otherwise, and not a true alien… he explained how mulder and her had been deceived and used, and that it was part of their plan that led to missy’s death and her illness.

god, how she must have felt hearing that… that everything that had happened to her was a waste, that the only point in her suffering was to advance corruption... it must have been devastating

as mulder leaves the warehouse where the autopsy was occurring, it seems he’s being watched by a guy with a shotgun??? is the shotgun guy going from before after the alien people????

it IS shotgun guy from before!!!! he knows babcock?? and he kills smithsonian guy arlinsky!!!

now who tf is this babcock fellow?!?!?!?!?!?

kritschgau is now sitting in mulder's apartment, explaining the "everything is a lie" story to him. mulder asks why he'd do this now- a fair question- and kritschgau says he came to him because his son is very sick after serving in the gulf war. i suppose if in this universe that is also something that has been covered up by the government, it could spark some disillusionment in the whole process once it impacts him personally.

he says "they" invented mulder, the regression hypnosis, the story of his sister and what they told his dad, and that the alien body was made carefully in a lab. and it would never be carbon dated, it was only for him to see so he would go public with the news and discredit himself.

mulder declares kritschgau to be a liar, but he says the body is already long gone, so he leaves to check. and sure enough, when he goes back to the warehouse, it isn’t there, but arlinsky is dead, as is shotgun guy!!!

again, WHO TF IS BABCOCK??!?!?

the cellular materials were an exact match to what kritschgau described. 

and this brings us to scully and mulder really fighting, really really fighting

“after all i’ve seen and experienced, i refuse to believe it’s not true” “because it’s easier to believe the lie, isn’t it?” <- ohh callback to earlier....

and she reveals that he said she was given this sickness to make him believe… oh my god, if that’s true, and her life is just a prop in their sick game… 

he storms out. 

back to the video from the 70’s we began with. 

mulder is watching it and crying. oh no… the beginning is clicking into place for me…… oh no, i see what is coming…. 

back to the meeting room. she says she went to his apartment that morning to identify a body, and that mulder died of a self-inflicted gunshot 

WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK?????????????????

thus concludes the episode

she’s crying, she’s crying, all i can think about is her crying, what the hell, what the hell….

so he killed himself because he realized he was being used as a pawn and it was his fault scully was dying…

normally i would have more to say. but i’m not gonna lie to you, i don’t. this is just so fucking sad. i don’t even have the words. never in a million years did i see this happening. what the hell???? what the hell?

do i believe this kritschgau guy??? i think he’s probably telling 30% of the truth. but not the whole thing. why would all those men die for a fake alien? i think he’s being deployed as a cover story as mulder gets too close. and i think some of this is engineered, but not as much as he claims.

and i'm willing to bet that "believing the lie" actually refers to scully believing his cover story!!!

man. i’m sorry but i’m just so sad. i have been so sad this whole season!!!! 

mulder…… it was rude of you to interrupt her dinner…… but this was not the answer… 

how is sneaky mulder going to get out of the situation THIS time??? and how is scully going to get out of the hole she's dug by reporting all of their work as fraud?? is bill going to be happy now?? lowkey fuck bill, btw.

wow... this is just painful. and i don't even have to wait months to find out what happens next. had i seen this when it aired live i probably would have entered a state of mourning.

so that's the end, huh? of the season, i mean. just sucker punch after sucker punch. i hope this isn't the tone of everything else moving forward. can i get uhhhh one order of whimsy please. with a side of mutual pining. and a small hurt/comfort, emphasis on the comfort. thank you.

after waiting 24 hours from watching the episode initially, i am still torn between how to proceed next. part of me wants to compile all of my favorite moments from the season like always, but the other part of me wants to begin the next episode right away, just so i can move on from such horrible mental imagery as mulder dead from a self-inflicted gunshot. what a terrible thing i wouldn't even have expected from fanfiction!

but, i can also see that the next episode is a two parter, and to be left on ANOTHER cliffhanger would be horrible- but probably LESS horrible than being left with the sadness of dead mulder, right? i don't know what to do! i am filled with indecision!!!!

:(

at least i can take away some fascinating analysis regarding scully's relationship to catholicism, and her idea that depending on any force outside of herself- be it family, friends, or god- is a sign of weakness. i mean, that is pretty telling about her character. and the fact that she believes this so strongly she tried to hide her cancer getting worse from her brother and succeeded in hiding it from mulder!!! to even voice the truth would make it real. maybe that's why she can't tell them, can't go to mass- because it would mean that the end is really near if she did so. i think it's about both the perceived ideas of weakness ingrained in her by her hardass parents and a refusal to let the situation she has found herself in be registered as real in her own mind. she knows it is. but maybe if she pushes it to the side, she can forget for a while.

wow. that sure is something to think over, and think it over i shall.

[dairy-farmer]

Am on a reversal of my other prompts kick~ :3c

Imagine~~

The Time Loop Prompt! A perfectly average, nothing happening, boring 24 hours. BUT THIS TIME?? It's NOT Tim who gets trapped! It's our dear Bat Boys!

Tim is still patrolling, been distant. Considering going back to The Nest. This upsets Bruce but he doesn't want to push and drive Tim away. Aggravates Damian, who is supposed to be putting away the Suspect Unknown Magical Object.

The more he listens to Drake make excuses, the more annoyed he gets. He gets careless. Too rough. Jason arrives, planning to look something up, but notices and corrects him. It's the final straw. He slams the idol down.

It shatters.

Magic sweeps the cave. Oh Shit.

Tim HEARD that. Respond. Respond! He's coming over! Tim IMMEDIATELY changes his plans. Awkwardness be damned, they just got exposed to Unknown Magics. He arrives. The Bats manage to peel themselves off the floor. Run through their standard "are we compromised" tests. So far? Nothing.

But Tim is gonna stay the night, just to safe. A 24 hour watch.

The next day is quiet. Maybe it really was nothing? Or it hasn't hit yet, knowing their luck. Could have just been the showy bang itself. Still... it's nice to actually have Tim AROUND for once. They wish they knew how to say that without starting a fight. They watch him head out around midnight. They hate it.

The NEXT day though? Oh. So THAT'S what it did. Timeloop. Well that's annoying. Except... except Tim's expression says he has no idea what they are talking about. But he was THERE, was he? They compare notes. And...

No. No, he wasn't. He HEARD the idol breaking, but wasn't actually THERE for it. He's outside of the Loop. So he'll have to take their word on it. Now, what are their options? Magic users, right?

They spend the day trying to figure out who they need to talk too. Then the next. Then the NEXT. Gods damn it they hate magic so, SO much. But! Constantine SHOULD be able to brute force them out? They are told this sort of situation is "his thing". Fine. So where is he?

Yeeeeah, about that.....

Bruce closes the link before he says something he will probably not regret, but would be DEEPLY unprofessional. Apparently they are on their own finding Constantine. Last known location: "probably Earth".

Fantastic.

It takes the rest of that loop to put together a functional program. One that will search for the House of Mysteries in a grid pattern, spanning the entirety of the planet. They cut it close, but manage to memorize it.

Next loop, start the program. Which... takes ALL of the Bat computer's processing power to run.. meaning they can't work on any cases. Now what?

They disperse. Try to find something to do. Read that book, finally play that game, maybe work on that art project. But... what's the POINT if all their progress gets undone? They try new foods, take naps, check out places they've put off going too.

The program has barely made a dent. The entire planet is not a SMALL place to search after all.

It's Dick who gets lonely first. Gets ideas. He'll swear of course, he didn't. It just... his friends are busy. Thanks to the loop? They'll STAY busy. Forever. He wants to hang out. Misses his Timmy Time. Things aren't great between them. But he is trying to be better.

And for Tim? It's a Rule. If someone stuck in a Timeloop wants to hang out, you hang out. Because YOU may have spoken to them yesterday, but for them? They could have been trapped alone for years. So he sighs and let's Dick drag him along.

Dick is THRILLED. Tim is having fun. HE'S having fun.

He genuinely can't remember when last it was just the two of them. Hanging out. Does Tim even skateboard anymore? Still WANT to see that photo exhibit? Yeah, Tim is having fun. But Dick gets the vibe he's humoring him. That... that he doesn't even KNOW him anymore.

So next loop he tries again.

It's not like Tim remembers their last hang out. He can keep trying! Movies and events and outings. Has he ever taken Timmy dancing, he wonders? Let's hit the clubs! Everything and anything! See what gets a spark of interest.

And... listen, maybe the clubbing was a mistake. Yes, Timmy is old enough. Yes, he had fun. But so did Dick. They got dressed up Super Hot. They got tipsy. Dick made sure to watch over Tim while he was their, made sure no one harassed him or put anything in his drink. Let him have fun in the loud music and strobing lights.

And... and... Realized Timmy... Timmers Tim Tim... grew up Hot. Watched him move. Laugh. Be gorgeous and relaxed in a way he rarely gets to be, surrounded by people who WANT him but who could NEVER know him like Dick does.

He... he should not be having these thoughts. Not about his baby brother. It's a distant thought. Weak in the face of things sliding into place at long last. Finally a name to apply to the complicated MESS that sat between them. One that seemed to come from HIM and not Tim. Oh.

His hands linger more then they should, helping his tipsy brother home. He dumps them both in his bed. Legs tangled, clothes on. Just to soak up the warmth of Timmy's body and press close, close, CLOSE. To let mad thought and insane plans rumble to life in his head. He shouldn't. He has to shut these thoughts down NOW while he still has a chance.

Tim is so warm. A bit giggly and boneless from the elaborate cocktails he wanted to try. Cologne all but washed off by sweat and stinking of the club. But... but cuddling him BACK for the first time in as long as he can remember, outside of an Ivy breakout. He wants and wants and wants. What if he could KEEP this?

It's so warm.

And waking up is so cold. No Tim. Just a reset timeloop and empty bed. Tim remembers nothing. But Dick does. Things have shifted. Lets go clubbing, Timmy! Why PAY for their cocktails when I can make better ones! It's called pre-gaming!

Soon they are tipsy, it's barely mid-day. But Tim is gorgeous and laughing. But, WHOOPS! Dick spilled his drink on your pants! Thank god we're still at home, huh? You can still change. BTW, unrelated, past boyfriends? Wanna rant?

He distracts Tim, pants off, with a rant. Nudges the conversation where he wants it. Dick's not nearly as drunk as he's pretending. But Tipsy Tim? Has GRIEVANCES! Don't get him wrong! He LOVES trying new positions! Practicing his BJs! So sue him, he's a perfectionist! But does that mean he never wants a little reciprocal action? No!

He, in fact, very much DOES want to get eaten out! Constantly! And other things! CONSTANTLY! He's horny and stressed okay? They lead stressful lives! But GOD FORBID men who will dive head first into radioactive goo monsters, put their Precious Wittle Mouths anywhere near his-!

Dick takes his chance. HE would never do that. You deserve BETTER. Have all those cases on the Bat computer, all that work at WE. He crowds forward, not looming, on his knees. Hands resting on Tim's hips. Not doing anything. Just so very, very Close.

Tim deserves to relax... doesn't he?

And Tim is torn. This does not seem like normal Dick behavior, but? Timeloop? Booze? And does he WANT this? Dick IS his childhood hero. He's had dreams about stuff like this. Should say no though. But then Dick leans forward, rests his flushed cheek against the soft skin of Tim's stomach. Rubs, just to feel them glide against each other.

Tim shudders. Y.. yeah. He deserves to relax. He mutters.

Like blood in the water before a shark. Tim squeaks he's lifted and moved so fast. He's being pressed down to the end of Dick's bed. He barely has time to register his boyshorts disappearing before his legs are lifted and spread. Then skilled, wet, heat is PLUNDERING him and he's jerking so hard you'd think he was tazered. Hands scrambling along Dick's sheets for any sort of purchase.

Gasping for air, whimpering, he can't for enough coherent thought to tell Dick to just-! Oh god! S-slow down! He spasms apart and then? Oh god. Clever, clever fingers. Sliding deep and rubbing just-! Dick is VERY good with his mouth. Tim come apart again and again, until he's desperately grabbing for Dicks head, slurring weakly for it to stop. For Dick to let him REST.

It's so god damn PERFECT. Dick has never seen anything better. Flushed and boneless and taken car off so good. He gently hauls him up the bed. Gets his Timmy all warm and snuggly. Then slides slick and perfect into his pampered little hole. Wraps him up close for a cuddle. Just the two of them, as he fucks. So, so good~

It's more of a rut then anything, honestly. But holding him? Feeling the gushing wet hole flutter around him as he rocks and rocks, just chasing his pleasure? Tim is so GOOD for him. A twitching, drooling, exhausted mess wrapped up in a safe little bundle, here in his arms. He slides as deep as he can, when he cums. Keeps Tim close and full.

Fails to notice, near midnight, when someone comes looking for him.

Tim may not remember, but Damian sure does. And he is NOT best pleased. Have you LOST YOUR MIND?! He may not li.. may have.. there may be strained relations between him and Drake, but that does not mean he will allow these PERVERSIONS!

Tim is baffled and wary. The Demon Child is sticking to him like glue. Dick keeps trying to subtlety separate them but what say WHY. As the day progresses, it escalates.

The NEXT Same Day? Tim is out right ALARMED. Dick tries to kidnap him for "bro time"? Did the magic idol turn him evil?! Shit! KON! He spends the day at the Kent farm.

Next loop? Wakes up in a safe house. One of Bruce's? WHY? Oh fuck. Damian's kidnapped him. Wait.... are... are these Bruce's KINK restraints?! Damian What The FUCK?!

And... look. Damian's at the end of his rope here. Richard is NOT giving up. Has years more experience and a plethora of allies. Drake doesn't even realize he's IN peril! No! Shut up!

He gags Tim. Begins explaining. Looks unhinged. Pacing back and forth. First the time loop, which is his fault. He KNEW better then to let his temper get the better of him! Has been working tirelessly to-! It doesn't matter. First the timeloop. His fault. Then Richard acting suspicious. Nothing out of place though? Until it WAS!

Liquor supplies raided! Held up in his room all day! Damian was suspicious!

The BASTARD! Forever going on about Family this and Family that! Blood relations don't mean anything! Still FAMILY!! He just wanted-!

Damian freezes, mid rant. Things connecting in his mind. Tim doesn't know WHAT and is too busy trying to get free of his cuffs to care. But then Damian spins to look at him. Eyes intense in a way that is VERY AL Ghul and thus VERY concerning.

Damian figured it out. Richard wanted Tim for himself. Of course he did. Tim is the favorite apprentice. Richard lied to Damian so Damian wouldn't be compition. He KNEW Damian desired Timothy and was doing everything he could to discourage it! Because Damian is the rightful heir. He has more to offer. Is a dangerous rival to have. He figure it out!

Tim has no idea what's happening and Damian may have finally gone insane.

Why is he coming closer? No! No coming closer! Go be insane somewhere ELSE! But Damian does not. He's not just Wayne stubborn. He's AL Ghul stubborn. He can TOTALLY seduce his freaked out, tied up, brother-rival!

Tim tries to kick him in the face.

Works for him. He's done research, he knows Dick's modis operandi. It apparently WORKS so... Holding the legs that tried to kick him, he inches forward. To tug sleep shorts out of the way until they are trapped near bound knees.

If Tim could remember it, could compare them, he'd tell you Damian is rougher then Dick. Demanding and exploring, tounge hot as it goes where it pleases. That he was far more merciless, in his inexperience, as that demanding mouth sucks and licks and toys with his clit. He chokes on air. Jerks and thrashes against the restraints binding him.

He's barely aware of Damian reaching for something, of some sort of noises, as he tries to escape the onslaught. But then there are demanding fingers. Slick and clumsy. Exploring, pushing deep as they can, more STUFFING him then fucking him. Full. Too much!

Something else replaces them. Over lubed. It SQUELCHS going in. Whats?

If nothing else, Damian has an EXCELLENT eye for sex toys. Tim all but HOWLS when he flips the vibrator on. Unthinkingly cranking it high, with little thought for Tim's sensitive hole. The orgasm is DRAGGED out of him. He.. he doesn't think Damian can even TELL he came. He's to distracted by eating him out.

Oh god. Tim's gonna die.

The vibrator keeps going.

By the time the loop resets, Damian has used several "interesting" toys he's tried. And fucked Tim's poor, throbbing hole full. Tim is losing time. His shoulders are screaming from the restraints and he's passed at least twice. Damian has... has never been softer with him.

Whispering praise and kissing every bit of skin he can reach. Cuddling close. Touching him reverently. Tim doesn't know how to feel. Doesn't... Doesn't understand.

He wakes up and doesn't remember.

Jason, however, catches both Dickface and the Hellion trying to kidnap his Replacement. Has some Opinions about that. He'd THOUGHT things were too quite.

There goes his reading day. And he'd been making such good progress on his books. This is some BULLSHIT. Meh, Timbers can sleep on the couch. Back to his regancy novel. Except of course his life could never be that easy. The fuckers team up. Lie their asses off to some Kryptonians. And he KNOWS that Kon-El has been just WAITING for an excuse, so DICK MOVE you FUCKERS! Oh shit!

Now they are in a lead lined bunker. No quality literature in sight. Timbits is convinced the idol turned everyone but him evil and you know what? Yeah. Yeah that's EXACTLY what happened. We should kick them in the dicks about it. It's the only heroic thing to do, really.

But then the fuckers FIND his lead bunker. HOW.

And the squirrly little shit he's trying to protect goes "don't worry, I got a place". Next thing he knows? Bam. Just... just a fuckin WALL of pictures of baby him. Timbers had a secret, Kryptonian-proof, stalker bunker? Oh. My. God. This is the creepiest, hottest, most pathetic thing he's ever seen.

Is that one of those WAIFU PILLOWS? Oh my God it IS! It's HIM! Booty shorts and all! Bruce shut that shit DOWN. They only ever managed to sell 15!

Tim regrets everything. Please. Just... for the love of all that is holy. Evil family members? Remember? Ignore my Secret Shame Bunker.

Jason will not. Don't think he didn't see the Red Hood merch. Supporting crime alley merchants are we? Cause they are the ONLY ones who sell those. The rest you had to have MADE. You're a creepy little fanboy. Holy shit. How did he FORGET that?

......Jason kinda needs to bend you over that creepy waifu pillow on those Red Hood sheets and fuck your brains out. Get over here. Now.

Tim would... LIKE to say as both a collector and self respecting vigilante, he doesn't desecrate his collection and get wildly distracted. But. Well. He would be a lying liar who lies. He's face down, ass in the air in SECONDS. Jason pounds him like he's trying to permanently bruise his hips. Makes him admit to all sorts of things he SWORE he'd take to the grave. Then flips him on his back, bends him in half, and goes AGAIN.

Somehow he finds Tim's old self-interest fanfiction. Drags Tim's head down to blow him as he reads it out loud. There are literary critiques. Tim's too distracted by the cock in his mouth to care.

Dawn comes. Tim does not remember. Jason wages war against the two fuckos who would prevent take two of "The Secret Fuck Bunker: An Epic Romance." He is INVESTED.

Bruce... finally acknowledges he can't keep ignoring whatever nonsense his sons are getting up too. It's loud and getting in the way of, you know, BREAKING THE TIME LOOP. You remember that, RIGHT children of his? He banishes them from the house. Well, Alfred does. He nods and agrees to it.

Tim is concerned but understanding. Bruce explains what progress they've made. They... they talk. Tim is supportive. He always has been, even when Bruce did not deserve it. Bruce.. admits the loop could not have come at a worse time.

The anniversary of- When he was lost in time? Tim finishes.

Yes. Being unmoored. Lost, trapped, and helpless before a force you can't so much as touch. Bruce has never liked timeloops. They are made to drive men mad.

Hesitantly, Tim climbs into his lap. Heavy and warm. Alive. Here. Arms wrap around Bruce in a hug and he just? Let's himself... breathe. Holds his boy back. Anchored and okay, if only for now. The hum of the computer, the chattering of bats, the smell of Tim's cologne. It's meditative.

Hands, running soothing fingers through his hair, gripping his sweater. A head resting against his own, Tim's lips ghosting against his forehead. Nearly a kiss, mostly just closeness. It's... it's the stillness that does it. Let's the thought he refused to think, finally slink forward. It's just them here.

And only he will remember.

But... He is an old and broken man. Has insisted on playing Father figure for so long, for all he did it so poorly. What right does he have to think this, much less ACT on it? To complicate Tim's life. Try to be something he's not even sure he can manage? What right does he have?

And why? He wonders, rubbing his exhausted cheek against the softness of Tim's shirt. Is he so very weak, so selfish, when it comes to love?

Tim's fingers pause... and then continue.

They have always been a lot alike. This may have been inevitable. But a day spent camping in his chair is not. It's terrible for his back. And for all that the loop may reset physical exhaustion, they clearly do nothing for mental exhaustion. The program will run just fine on its own, Bruce. Too bed with you.

For the first time in years, that old Batman Mischief. Oh? And who will keep him there? Hmm? You? Better supervise him. Make sure he stays. Tim's laugh fills the cave. Guess he has no choice then, does he?

Shukking clothes, Bruce feels decades younger. Back when the world wasn't so heavy on his shoulders. Just two young men, a soft bed, in the dark. He kisses Tim breathless as he works him open. Finds sensitive spots on his neck as he wrings and orgasm out of his boy, just to get him relaxed. Plenty of lube and stretching, and he's sinking in. Slow and relentless.

Tim gasping, shaking, gripping his arms like a lifeline. Tim feel like he's being impaled on a log. If he didn't love Bruce he'd have called it off the second his pants were off. He's never sitting again. Never WALKING again. It's not even rubbing against anything, just pressure. But... but Bruce is looking at him with such AWE and in such PLEASURE and he.. he cant.....

Bruce starts slow and relentless. Just getting Tim's body to let him GO. To stop clenching and relax. Little by little. Then faster. Harder. It feels ruinous. No ones ever going to be able to stuff Tim like this. He can't even tell if he LIKES it. So much. Full. Stretched and sloppy and all his inside pumped to pieces.

Should be crude. Violent. He's being RUINED. But Bruce is so loving. Holding him and praising him and kissing him. Gasping like it's the best he's ever had. That's cheating. How us Tim supposed to be mad if he does that? And then Bruce cums in him and he can't even... even...

Bruce loses count, how many rounds they go. Tim is absolutely fuck drunk and gapping, his poor little hole drooling and twitching around nothing. He should have held back. Next time he'll hold back.

Probably.

He pulls his sweet boy close and just... let's himself exsist. Holds him. Everything is warm and good. He drifts off.

And wakes up alone. Start of the loop.

Bruce breaks some things.

He also puts two and two together, as he stalks his was to go fetch Tim. The odd behavior of his sons makes a.. sudden sort of sense. Family Room. Now. Let Tim sleep.

No one wants to admit to anything. Them? Take advantage on the timeloop? They would never! Take advantage of Tim's lack of MEMORY of the loops? They would NEVER! In fact! What were YOU doing at the devils sacrament, goodie Procter?!

Accusations are thrown.

Bruce asks if they're done.

Because this can go one of two ways. They leave Tim alone until after the loops after finished. OR? They share.

What.

Tim can't make an informed decision with less then 24hours of information to go off of. We may remember our time bonding with him. But HE does not. We share, he decides. What, if anything, he'll do AFTER the loop ends. No fighting or No Tim.

Argue and I'll have Clark remove Tim from the house each day, every day, at midnight. Full 24 hours. Try me.

Tim wakes up to a VERY weird energy in the studio today. The vibes are Off. You guys... good? They explain the Timeloop. He chooses to believe it's that.

Right up until Jason pulls him into a guest bedroom and fucks him on the floor.

It takes a lot of days Tim doesn't remember, for the program to Find Constantine. He gets fucked in his bed, his brothers bed, the batcave. There are threesomes he doesn't remember. Face fucking. Machines. Each morning, the SAME morning, his family greet him with a stranger and stranger energy he can't quite place. He's missing something.

They find Constantine right before a loop resets. Tim is asleep when they head out to Argentina. He goes from dead asleep to WIDE FUCKING AWAKE.

TIM. REMEMBERS.

Oh, you BASTARDS. Not even a DRINK first? What is he, a cheap date?? Just a "hey gorgeous" and a hand down his pants!?!? He's killing them! Alfred! ALFRED! Where's the shotgun!?

Those fuckers better GROVEL. No dates, no ROMANCE, just fucking him against the nearest flat surface. In FACT! KON! Kon get your Midwest ass over here! You're my dad now!

The Bats hear Boss Music and are rightfully afraid to answer their phones. It won't save them. Tim is MIFFED and owed ROMANCE and ROMANTIC fuckings. Where the hell are his flowers? His fancy restaurants reservations? His ALIEN TECHNOLOGY!?

He's moving in with the KENT'S! No pussy for you! No pussy 1000 years!

😭😭😭😭 tim getting so MAD at the bats for not romancing him and just fucking him instead- repeatedly to. they used him like an open cunt at a glory hole!!! he would absolutely be livid and as for the bats, tim is angry but at least he's still talking with them even if it is to yell and insult them 😭😭😭

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

Hello good to hear from you again. I was wondeing if your were planning to continue 16 year from the last ronin anytime soon? If yes can you tag me please? Thanks.

I wasn't really planning on continuing 16 Years😅

I'm happy to know that people still read it, because I'm actually quite proud of it. I had an idea for a chapter following the reader, Yoshi, Yoshi's younger sibling, and how they lived together with April, Casey Marie and the new generation of mutant turtles. However, it would be implied that Mikey died just like in cannon.

I decided to shelf that idea, when I started getting some very intense messages from people, wishing I continued the story. That in it self is okay. I don'y mind people feeling strongly about what I write - it's kind of the point of writing - making people feel thing. That turned into people asking me to give Mikey a happy ending, and to be honest, that didn't feel right for my story. But I did sit for quite some, trying to see if I could make it work with Mikey surviving, but I just couldn't. It didn't feel right, and it felt forced, so I kept pushing it away.

I finally decided to stop any continuation of 16 Years, when I started getting messages from people, stating that they would hurt themselves if I didn't give Mikey a happy ending. Given the nature of the messages, I hope they were joking, but decided not to take any chances.

Strangely enough, this is the only story I've experienced this kind of reception with. I take it as a sign that people really like it, which I understand. I was full on crying while writing the first chapter. But the messages of self harm I've received has really put me off the idea of continuing 16 Years, happy ending or not.

I'm sorry for unloading all of this unto you, but I felt like it was time to give an actual explanation, as I to this day, still receive questions about 16 Years. Maybe one day in the future I might write a story for TLR!Michelangelo, that gives him a happy ending, but for the moment being, I don't really have any😅

[risingshards]

Sting's final match was so so SO perfect. For the guy who'd always lose when asked and got booked to be such a goober over his career and got such a shitshow wwe run...to see that guy get such a triumphant good defeats evil close to his career, to see him get an undefeated streak in aew....ugh. It's wondeful.

Sting is a wrestler that's really important to me. I didn't watch in like peak 90s wrestling times, but I remember when my brother made a CAW of Sting in HCTP that my 10 year old self was like "that is the coolest wrestler ever." and it took until TNA in january 2006 when he debuted on final resolution, the first wrestling ppv I ever convinced my family to order teaming with my all time #1 wrestler Christian Cage (ty to christian for being genuinely such a nice person to me) for me to be like "oh my god stings fucking awesome?!?!"

In 2014 I had a really shitty life situation. and it fucked me up and I was rocked completely and lost. And I retreated to my partner's house at the time and wrapped myself up in blankets and put on survivor series and sting showed up in wwe. and in all the maelstrom of my life i got to escape for a second and be like. "ok. sting is here. things will be okay. justice will be served." and that was incredibly comforting to me. sting's wwe run endied up being fucking terrible and like my thirtieth "oh god wwe sucks and is horrific for my mental wellbeing" thing. but that debut pulled me away from the bad times.

flash forward to 2020. and the shitty life situation repeated itself like shot for shot. i was lost again. and wouldn't you know it, sting debuts in aew like a day after it happened. and i got to escape again. justice would be served. the good guys win in the end. thankfully, sting's aew run would be so much better than the wwe one and was so so perfect.

so today's very emotional for me. a maybe childish (?) part of me is like "if that thing happens again what do we do if sting doesnt show up and make it feel alright?" but the way sting got to defeat the bad guys one more time, to fight against evil (against the young bucks who were deliciously perfect villains for sting and darby) and to WIN, to not go out like old yeller like every other wrestler retirement angle, is so important to me. sting go to be a fucking real life superhero fighting against evil in the wacky unreal world of wrestling, and helped me through the bullshit, and makes me want to keep fighting in spite of everything. wrestling is silly and weird and seen as fucking stupid bullshit to many who don't watch, but fucking hell I dunno if i'd be here without it, and without people like sting being those kinds of heroes who make the fight worth it. so thank you sting, for everything.

[blacktofade]

🐝

🐝 tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them

I'm so lucky to have so many wonderful people in my life but I'll narrow it down to the following: @ebonybow Actual love of my life and every day I am so thankful that we met and share a brain. @pinetreelady A constant source of happiness in my life for SO MANY years now (and also the person who introduced Fie and I so I owe her everything). @fille-lioncelle Lets me ramble and rant about ANYTHING and is honestly the sweetest person to chat with about fandom and life and will absolutely get an invite to my wedding!! @stephstiel and @graculuss MY GROTZONE PALS!! It started with wrestling, but our friendship is forever now! You're both so kind and easy to talk to and I would be lost without you both! @iggyuessimhere An absolutely WONDEFUL person who understands how to be fully deranged in the best way. Also bird friend!!!

[sitp-recs]

hi liv!! i've been following your blog for years and it's always been such a comfort to me, thank you for all you do!!

i got broken up with this week, and i'm taking it very hard. it's my first real breakup and no one's fault, so it's just horribly sad. do you have any recs that are just soothing and soft at this time? just anything that will make me feel like things will be okay

no worries at all if not, i know this isn't exactly specific and you must be busy <3

Oh darling, I’m so sorry to hear that 💔 I’ve been there and I know it’s not easy but you’ll get through it! Give yourself time to grieve and rest over the weekend. I’m sending warm hugs, hopefully these will help soothe your heart. I’d also recommend dustmouth’s incredible comic stories, they’re my go-to comfort food!

Market Saturdays by iota (M, 3k)

In which Harry is an accidental part-time cheesemonger, Draco is an organic farmer and they fall in love. Not an AU.

The Long Fall by tackytiger (M, 3.6k)

It's supposed to be a simple house renovation, and maybe it's just the paint fumes, but Harry is feeling dizzy around Draco Malfoy. And what's the real meaning of family, anyway?

Life goes not backward by shealwaysreads (T, 9k)

Harry still isn’t used to gifts, but this one is different. A story of coming home, finding safe ground, and the wild courage of putting down roots.

fine i'll hold my breath / til i forget it's complicated by teatrolley (NR, 11k)

Harry and Draco become friends with benefits, and Harry thinks it's more complicated than it actually is.

the way you make me glow by softlystarstruck (M, 11k)

In a cottage next to the sea, love blossoms. Or perhaps it’s been there all along.

warmest part of the winter by warmfoothills (T, 11k)

It’s not even a balcony, it’s just a window with a bit of a ledge, and Draco’s read Shakespeare anyway, he knows how this one ends.

How We Throw Our Shadows Down by thistle_verse (T, 14k)

Draco has finally found the perfect, rare piece to complete his collection. The only problem is that the item belongs to Harry Potter, the last wizard on earth Draco wants to ask another favour from.

Yours Truly by skeptique (M, 15k)

Every single one of Harry’s exes has gone on to marry the next person they date, and with the upcoming nuptials of numbers six and seven to each other, Harry’s feeling exhausted by it all. It doesn’t really matter if he lets people assume Draco Malfoy is his boyfriend for a moment of peace. In any case, Draco’s been away for five years and there’s no way he would find out, right?

Sourdough by academicdisaster (M, 17k)

Draco writes romance novels and doesn't leave his apartment much. Harry bakes bread and sells it to Draco. Draco is quite weird. Harry might like that.

The Snitch-Maker by Omi_Ohmy (T, 21k)

Draco is content with his Snitches, with the tap tap tap of his hammer, and the tiny gears and sharp scent of metal in his workshop - until one day Harry Potter appears, asking for help to solve a rash of Snitch-tampering in the Quidditch world.

Nice Things by aideomai (M, 22k)

The first thing that happened was Theodore Nott came back from France.

On the Turning Away by blamebrampton (G, 25k)

It's one thing to be good at not making a besotted fool of yourself over a man when he's busy being the most famous wizard in the world and you're tucked away quietly in Wiltshire. It's quite another when you have to see him every morning.

Open For Repairs by FeelsForBreakfast (M, 35k)

After the war, Draco works at a tv repair shop and Harry breaks things.

Eager for the Sky by oknowkiss (M, 35k)

It was announced, just as the Triwizard Tournament had been, at the start of term feast. A year-long, international Quidditch varsity match — the inaugural Wizarding Academy Cup.

Follow the Water by xanthippe74 (T, 38k)

Harry Potter’s life is fine. Maybe a little dull and predictable, but he shouldn’t complain about that, right? When he unexpectedly finds himself at Luna’s house one afternoon, Harry gets invited to join the secret wonderland that she’s creating with a surprising group of friends. Maybe a summer outdoors is just what a former hero needs to bring some zest back into his life.

And if you’re in the mood for long fics:

Like Lightning at Your Fingertips by potterwatch (T, 43k)

The problem with living with another insomniac is, eventually, they find out you’re one, too. When Harry and Draco return for their eighth year, they think they’ll see very little of each other. Then McGonagall assigns them to room together. And the castle starts breaking. And there’s that thing with Potter’s magic.

A Room Up There (And You In It) by thestarryknight (T, 59k)

When Preservationist Draco Malfoy was assigned to work on Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, he was excited to delve into the gorgeous Black family antiques. His excitement quickly ended when something in the House decided it did not like his presence one bit. Featuring a grumpy antiques lover who most certainly did not sign up for this, encounters with a vengeful apparition, and a healthy application of Christmas spirit.

Little Deaths and How to Avoid Them (or Draco Malfoy's Guide to Stop Dying and Start Living Instead) by nerakrose and dustmouth (T, 96k)

Malfoy is way too interested in coroner reports for somebody who's definitely not looking for ways to die, Harry wants to be friends with him, and Ginny wants to break up with Harry.

[quill-q]

I adore Never Tickle A Sleeping Dragon. It’s truly one of the great masterpieces of fanfiction. And one that I’ve been reading for years…I think I started reading back in 2022(?). Not quite sure of the timeline, but it was the chapter where Laena died.

Anyway, I was wondering if you had plans to post a side fic to compile the art you’ve done for it? I was rereading recently and I’d almost forgotten about the drawings of Norbert and Hariel, and that map of Crackclaw point. I don’t want to call them ‘buried’ as they are now, but…idk, it woud be wondeful to have an ‘art book.’ Maybe make a series and have the art book fic be the second entry?

Of course, it’s all up to you!

(And man, your art is gorgeous and your writing is next level. I’m almost jealous, but I’m more filled with admiration. The years of hard work you’ve spent developing your skills shows in your work. You’ve earned every bit of excellence.)

Oh wow, what an incredibly nice message to find in my inbox! The sort of message where I don’t know how to express just how much I appreciate that you took the time to write it. Because I do put in a lot of effort into my writing and drawings, and I love it because they’re my hobbies, but still; it’s so, so nice to hear that someone else has enjoyed either one too. This is so very kind of you to say.  

I’m really pleased you’ve enjoyed reading Never Tickle a Sleeping Dragon, and that you’ve kept with the story so long too! The chapter where Laena died was written in 2022, you’re right. Thank you for the patience with the updates!  

And maybe I will post a side-story to Never Tickle' and add in my drawings and maybe some drafts there. I have done that (posted a side-story) for every other long story I’ve written, except for this one. I don’t have quite as many drawings for Never Tickle' compared to some other stories, but I have actually considered doing it for a while. I just wasn’t sure it would serve a purpose, but the fact you are suggesting it here shows at least some would find it useful! That’s good to know. Thank you so much!

And once again; thanks for the message and for reading the story!

[shinondraws]

I have officially survived all 14 events of 2023.

It's been a fucking wild year but it is giving me hope and strength. The response I get from people who are in any contact with my art business is only super positive. I feel like I have entered a space that cultivates creativity and appreciation for art and I have met so many wondeful people this way.

I am very grateful for all the opportunities I have had and I'm also proud that I had the guts to say yes to and follow through so many plans this year. I feel like by seeing how dar I can go has given me valuable information on what's worth it and what's possible.

I always feel a bit ashamed to talk about money but I feel like it's imrpotant to sometimes to lessen the Stigma of making money with art. I don't have the exact figures but I have a gut feeling that my art business revenue is on par with my annual salary as a full time working architect. Ofc what's actually left after taxes and expenses is much much less but it's nothing to scoff at.

I'm hardworking and persistent but a lot of what I have achieved has been made possible by you people and by your appreciation of art. Thank you for supporting what I do, be it by buying something or just saying you like my stuff. It means the world to me.

I'm only gonna keep moving and keep setting new goals. I have dreams and entire universes in my head, waiting to be get out there.

We'll find out what 2024 brings!

[endof-vanity]

Five Questions for Five Mutuals - TDJ Edition!

Thank you @gaylilsherlock for the tag <3

Who is your favourite character (s) from TDJ?

It has to be kang yohan. my pathetic little meow meow, who is also a byronic antihero, who is also just someone's gay uncle. he contains multitudes <3

What is your favourite episode?

I'd need to do a throrough rewatch before I could comment but i did see ep 4 again recently and that was a banger

Where do you see your favourite character in 10 years?

I hope he is peacefully retired from law, and deeply immersed in some other job with far lower stakes that he can get strangely passionate about. i think he tried to retire fully for maybe a year and got bored so he picked up a small job rehoming cats for something to do :3

he is of course still living with gaon and elijah comes to visit often

Why do you think The Devil Judge fandom continues to this day? (We still see art and fics published and people continue to engage. Considering the show ended 3 years ago with only 16 episodes, this is a feat - at least to me)

Both the incredible construction of the show, and the love that it inspired in people. It's a show rich with ideas and themes that provoke strong feelings (justice, abuse of power, religion, family, yohan's weird brother thing), it's deeply powerful, and its just plain good.

How did you find The Devil Judge? (What made you watch?)

I watched Beyond Evil first and stumbled across tdj through tumblr and the wondeful community that around these shows !!

[silverlining-ships]

HEY HEY IM NEW HERE!! Love to see a Jasper ship as she is amazing and wondeful. How did ur f/o and Jasper meet!

Hiii!!! Welcome in!! <3 She is amazing and wonderful you are so right <3 thank you so much for the ask!!

So how Jasper and I met is actually kind of a funny situation. We met about three years after the events of future. I've already been living in Beach City for a year, but after witnessing my first Scary Gem battle where Steven and Connie had to come in to save me, I became determined to learn how to fight. So I started going to the Little Homeworld training grounds.

After a few months, I was up against Jasper at the monthly competitive dueling event. Apparently it was extremely rare for her to show up to duel, but even so I was no match for her, of course. Even Steven or Connie can barely keep up with her. But I was stubborn, so after she had thrown me to the ground, I taunted her and forced myself back to my feet.

She won that fight, obviously, but ever since I had become determined to learn how to beat her, and she was determined to scare off this batshit crazy human who keeps throwing herself at her.

Not the most romantic start, but hey, we fell in love anyway <3

[katherineholmes]

You could write a scenario where Elena discovers (through a painting or a diary entry) how Klaus killed Katherine's family (including her little sister, who was in fact just a child). Which leaves her truly horrified, and leaves her wondering if her love for Klaus is right. In short she feels guilty for loving such a cruel monster.

I hope this prompt is okay, otherwise feel free to ignore it. 😣 I love your writing by the way! ❤️

Hello, thank you so much for sending this prompt!! I loved writing it! I hope it's what you envisioned, because I have no idea how it turned out, but here you go!

Read on AO3 - Blood And Death

She’s sprawled on the couch by the fireplace, piled under blankets. The fire in crackles in the hearth, and she can see the snow outside the windows. Her warm cup of cocoa is half finished on the table, while she peruses through the tome in her hand. It is a tome, old yellowed pages, a musty odour to it.

She’s reading Klaus’ journal.

Calling it a journal is a generosity. While there are places where he talks about feelings, this is more of a ledger. Half formed plans, names of witches, vampires, werewolves who’ve owed him favours over the millennia, have wronged him over that time, displayed. Tracking of enemies and allies, information about stolen artefacts.

Over and over, one word is repeated frequently. Doppelgänger.

Every time she reads the word, something twists in her stomach. Sweat beads down her back even in the freezing cold of December. The things that Klaus has done to find the doppelgänger, find her, make her shift in place. Hesitant and uncomfortable. Locator spells and bounties. Killing people who brought girls that looked almost like the doppelgänger, but not quite. Relishing about how he killed those girls too, the taste of their blood and the wonder over whether doppelgänger blood would taste sweeter, different somehow.

It does.

She learnt that on a particularly hot night, when they’d been in Australia. A dip in the ocean followed by a night of being entangled in each other. They were lying on the floor of the hallway somewhere by their bedroom, legs pressed together, his blood in her veins and hers in his. There were trails of blood all over them, bloodied handprints on her thighs and the rivulets of her blood trailing down her breasts and stomach and her thighs.

(She clenches even now, when she remembers how he had used the blood on her thigh to push two fingers inside her and make her crest again.)

She had joked then, about how blood all tasted the same to him now. He’d levelled a serious look at her and said that her blood was unique.

More bitter than anyone else’s. Sweeter than anyone else’s.

She had refrained from asking if Katherine’s tasted the same.

She reads the ledgers out of order. The early years, when bloodlust and the guilt of killing his mother had consumed him. The names Tatia and Aurora, repeated throughout, the Hunters Curse and all his hallucinations detailed.

(What does it say about her that she feels such sympathy for him? Such pain over something that happened nine centuries before she was born?)

She tries not to think about it as she reads about how he started daggering his siblings, about the deaths and the violence and the blood. She tries not to think about the blood. How much of it still clings to him.

Then she starts reading about Katherine. Katherine who’s a lamb for slaughter. All the entries are about how Katherine looks like Tatia, how he’s seducing her, wining and dining her, playing the part of the nobleman he is as he courts her. Showers her with affection. How it dwindles once he learns she has nowhere to go. A week long affair followed by coldness which makes her grow closer to Elijah.

The fantasies he had about Katherine. All blood and death. About his curse. Lines sneaked in between about Katherine’s beauty but those are secondary.

It is her death that is his most ardent passion. The sight of her dead that he wishes to see.

Elena wonders about that night then, when she had walked to him. When he had killed her. She knows he must’ve felt the same pleasure, the same triumph killing her then. How he must’ve seen her too, like a pretty, shiny object, a means to an end. An entity made for him, his curse and no other reason.

(Now, he makes her coffee in the mornings and heels to her wants. Only when she stands her ground, but getting through to him is easier now.)

When Katherine runs, the writing becomes haphazard. The anger takes centre stage. Ideas of how to torture Katherine, fantasies of flaying her skin from her bones and injecting her with wolf venom before healing her and doing it again. Some of it is so horrifying that she has to make an effort to not get sick. She’s glad Klaus never caught Katherine.

(What about the other people though? The ones he has does these things to?)

It’s when she reads about Bulgaria that she’s no longer lying down. She reads about how he killed Katherine’s neighbours first, all in a rage, raining blood on the small village. All the people who ran from him, screaming of a monster. The hearts he ripped out and the blood he gorged himself on. How he made sure to not get to Katherine’s family till the end. How they were terrified by then. How he started with the servants, moving on to her parents. Her sister.

Her sister who was a child.

But then, it seems as if no child was spared that night. All of them dead.

The thought of it makes her sick, and she finally pushes all the books away. Her mind whirls, conjuring up images for her, all things she wants to forget. Some of them are old nightmares, the ones that had pushed her to seek Klaus. To make a deal with him and leave Mystic Falls behind. Occasional phone calls with her family are all she had for years.

It’s only now, after almost a decade, that the terms of that deal are void. Forgotten in the whirlwind of emotions, and the tangles of her fingers in his. The bloodied curve of his mouth against her own.

She jumps when she hears the front door open. The rustling of clothes and the sound of heavy footsteps. She holds on to the back of her couch, chin propped on the lip of it as she watches him walk into their living room.

He’s covered in blood.

The sight should be jarring but it isn’t.

This is who he is, this blood and this monstrosity.

It’s not all he is.

His eyes sweep over her, walking closer to her before that blood stained hand is on her cheek. Before he’s pulling her up, pressing his lips, slick with blood, against hers.

She can only see him murdering Katherine’s family. How easily it could’ve been hers.

How easily it was, she thinks guiltily, the image of Klaus killing Jenna still clear in her mind.

She pulls back, settling back in place, trying not to worry about the way blood stains her face. The blood of his victims. Maybe they’re her victims too, they will be at least, when she falls into bed with him again.

He leans back, before his eyes fall on the tomes, his expressing turning displeased.

A small tinge of fear darkens at her heart, but it’s gone in the next moment.

“And here I thought one’s privacy is to be respected,” his voice is deeper than usual, but she shrugs.

“You read my diaries all the time,” resentment seeps into her voice, how she doesn’t want to write down her real thoughts, but end up doing it anyway. How he ends up reading them anyway. “I thought I’d read yours.”

“Yes, but you can’t read mine-”

“Stop reading my diaries then,” she demands suddenly, and his gaze falls on her, blue invaded by flecks of gold, “give me your word, and I’ll put these back.”

This she trusts, his word. He keeps it. Mostly.

His tricks aren’t as elaborate as Elijah’s.

“I suppose I can see why my reading them might make you….uncomfortable,” he says the word as if it offends him, but she doesn’t interrupt him. Not when he seems to be in the mood to give her what she wants. She can’t stop thinking of how he must’ve killed Katherine’s little sister. All the children in that village. “Very well,” he’s being generous in his mind, bestowing her a favour. She hates it. “I won’t read your diary. You have my word.”

She presses her lips together, her hands moving to hold him, neck craned up to face him. He can’t compel her now, not when she got her hands on her dads journal and trained herself to be resistant to it, with Elijah’s help. He can’t get inside her head either.

She doesn’t steal her gaze, looks up at him steadfastly.

“I read how you killed Katherine’s family,”

He looks down at her impassively, but she can see that small flicker of vulnerability, he wants to hide. The doubt.

“Did you?”

This time, she pictures of how Katherine must’ve felt on return. How she must’ve pulled their bodies to her chest and sobbed on the floor of her home. Blood and death her only companions.

She inhales softly, something inside her chest hurting. It’s so easy to think of her own family in place of Katherine’s. Despite the years gone by and the way Jeremy thrives in his graphic designing, she’s seized by fright for a moment.

“Yeah,” something catches at her and she looks down, away from all that he is, “you killed her sister too. She was just a child.”

She doesn’t dare look at him, her heart thumping loudly, “I don’t know who I killed that night, you know how I get when I’m angry.” She does, she thinks as she remembers prank night, about how he’d gotten Tyler to bite Caroline, and almost gotten Jeremy killed.

“But doesn’t it bother you?” The question is raw, ripped from her throat, and finally looks up. Levels her gaze to the blood splattering across his face.

“Sometimes, it’s not as though I seek out children to kill them.”

She swallows heavily, her mind filling in blanks he doesn’t dare complete in front of her. He doesn’t seek out children, but if he’s in rage and they get in the way -

“If it makes you feel any better,” this time she hears it, the crack in his voice, a sudden vulnerability he likes hiding clear in it. Wondering if this will be it, the straw that breaks the camels back and makes her leave. “I’ve never been in a rage like that afterwards.”

“Not even when you found me alive?” Her pulse thrums as she wonders what he might’ve done to her loved ones then.

“No,” there’s a truth in answer, and shamefully, her shoulders droop, “I wasn’t. Elena-”

“Okay,” she nods, biting at her inner cheek, “I believe you.”

The words are hard, making her think of Jenna and tears obscure her vision, the kind she swallows down quickly. She drops back into the couch, her dead on the armrest, and she doesn’t look at him when she speaks.

“You’re getting blood all over the carpet,” her hand shoots out to find her book and there’s silence for a moment. Her hands flip through the pages, finding the passage she was reading before she was distracted, and it’s several minutes before he leaves. She ignores him till then, a cruelty she’ll pay for by holding him close to her tonight, but one she doesn’t hide away now.

When he’s gone, she lets out a sigh, tears trickling down from the corner of her eye.

Who is she, that she still loves him? That even when she sees Jenna dying, even when she remembers the cruel smile stretched on Klaus’ mouth, she loves him. She hates him too. Hates him for killing Jenna, hates him for killing Isobel, and Katherine’s family. Katherine’s sister.

How easily it could’ve been her family. Was her family.

She hates him.

But she loves him more.

Still, the darkness lingers inside her. His cruelty, his dramatics, his mercurial moods, they can never leave her. She loves him despite it, through it, for it.

He’s a monster. He disgusts her sometimes. And she wonders what kind of person can love someone like him anyway.

Maybe it’s because she’s selfish, maybe it’s because she’s a monster too.

But she can’t stop, this love is too sharp, too much like a dagger in her heart.

It hurts sometimes, but maybe that is what love is.

Pain.

[magic-is-something-we-create]

Hi magesmith

It's send an ask Sunday because I say it is. If your ocs were books on your shelves, what would they be? (You may categorize by actual plot or the covers or the colors of the spine, idc)

HI SLEEPY THIS IS A FANTASTIC ASK AND I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT SINCE I GOT IT AND I LOVE YOU THANK YOU

ok so i decided to keep this to the goddess-touched cast (specifically the narrators of gt itself because otherwise we'd be here for a week) and fair warning it has been years since ive read some of these books im vibe-checking so take some of these with a grain of salt. but trust me in that when i read these i loved all of them deeply

anyways first up we have EMBER whose vibes i tend to read as desperate to keep their family alive, signed up to do one thing to help them and a few others and ended up being dragged kicking and screaming into far greater importance than they ever wanted or thought possible, and extremely competent in battle while simultaneously not wanting to be, i have assigned them The Hunger Games and Red Rising, simply because i feel like they'd fit right in with both casts and maybe would Get the protags of both in ways not many others do

next we have NIMBUS whose vibes are that of extremely good at one thing and lacking in almost all other areas and constantly feels like the odd one out, no matter where he goes he's a puzzle piece that looks like it fits perfectly but once the puzzle's all done he's still there and because that has very isekai vibes in-context (he's extremely tech-literate in a context where there's no tech to literate, and as soon as he's in the context where that becomes useful he's actually like a grandma who doesn't know what phishing is and thinks facebook is google compared to the people around him) he is The Search for Wond-La and a bit of Skyward

with ANNIE a lot of her story right now is quite, uh, unexpected if you've read Firebreathers and extremely out of left field if you know her solely from what I've talked about on here, but i'll sum it up as constantly being underestimated and using that to her advantage, while only people equal to her skill are able to clock that she's hyper-qualified for the thing she's being put up to and thus i have assigned her The Will of the Many and Mistborn

and finally of all the main narrators (there's a couple others who have had very sparse chapters here and there, these four dominate this book) we have DUSK!!!! aka my beloved most favoritest oc who i like to treat like a terrier chew toy. his vibes are fairytale cunning re: exploiting loopholes and oversights in others' words, teenage immortality complex, and researcher at heart who simply wants the rest of the world to understand that science and progress are important. thus i assign him Babel and Iron Widow

thank u for coming to (and inspiring) my ted talk <3