#thank you so much this idea has saved me from having to worry about consistency lol | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

crazyunsexycool · 2 years ago

Text

Heart’s Munition

Chapter 1

Pairing Mob boss!Steve x single mom!Reader

Word count: 4.6k

Series masterlist

Warning: Steve is a slut (he will be through part of the series), talk of throwing up, mentions of domestic abuse, mentions of cutting off hands, Elijah is our sweet boy (he deserves a bit of a warning) mentions of medication.

A/N: here we go with a new series! I know this is just the first chapter but the story I have envisioned is just ✨🤌🏻💋👩🏻‍🍳✨ both series and permanent taglist are open for 18+ only dividers related by the lovely Em @writing-for-marvel (originally made for is it a crime? But I thought they fit this fic!)

The sun hadn’t risen yet but you were already awake. There was a list you went over every morning before you could even step out of your small one bedroom apartment. It didn’t simply consist of making sure you had your keys, purse and phone with you, it was more complicated.

“Elijah,” you called softly from the side of your son’s bed. “Wake up my love.” You caressed his cheek as his eyes fluttered open. “Good morning baby.” You leaned forward and kissed his forehead.

“Morning ma.” Elijah smiled sleepily at you.

“How did you sleep?”

“Good. I had a dream that I was riding on a giraffe but I was hanging on to it’s neck so I could see everything”

“That’s good baby, means the medicine is working. Did you have fun riding the giraffe?” He nods and you snicker while getting up to grab one of the many medications he’s on and prepare the first dose of the day. “Now, Mrs. Fields is going to be here in a few minutes, I already have your breakfast ready. All she has to do is warm it up for you. If you don’t feel sick afterward she’ll take you to school and pick you up after and then I’ll see you later tonight ok?”

“Ok.”

He accepts the medicine you give him and scrunches his face in disgust as the liquid goes down his throat. You sit with Eli for a few minutes and he sits in your lap, his face hidden in your neck. These little moments were everything to you because you weren’t sure why he was sick and if he’d survive it.

“Alright baby, I love you to the moon and back.”

“Love you to the moon and back ma. Have a good day at work.”

“Have a good day at school.” You smile and kiss his forehead.

In the living room you look over which medication needs to be refilled and you make an online request for them. Then you set a reminder on your phone to pick them up on your break. The door to the bathroom closes and you stop to listen to see if Elijah is throwing up but to your relief he isn’t. Soon enough the front door opens and Mrs. Fields walks in.

She had been your saving grace after moving to this new apartment. She lived in the building across the street and you ran into each other at the corner store. After knowing each other for a few weeks she offered to look after Elijah after school for you. At first you weren’t sure if it was a good idea but if you wanted to keep the job you had there was no other choice. Once Elijah started getting sick she stepped up even more. Without her you’d be out on the street by now.

She smiles at you causing the wrinkles around her eyes and the laugh lines to deepen. Her salt and pepper hair is up in a twist with a clip holding it in place. The older woman holds out a cup of coffee and a bag for you.

“Here, breakfast and before you complain remember you have to keep your strength up too.”

“Thank you so much. You’re a lifesaver.” You take the coffee and the bag and hold it in one hand while grabbing your bag. “Eli took his medicine already and he seems to be feeling good. I think today might be a school day.”

“I’ll get him ready then. Have a good day at work and don’t worry about a thing.”

“Bye, call me if you need anything.” You say before heading out of the door and in the direction of the nearest subway station.

The house, or better yet, the mansion was quiet which was a relief. It meant you had enough time to change into your uniform and get a second cup of coffee. As you put away your bag in the locker your employer had set up in a room by the kitchen. Just like always, you were one maid short and the other was late considering her locker was wide open.

“Morning Dom.” You greet the cook as you enter the kitchen.

“Ah, my favorite coworker.”

“And apparently your only coworker.” You tell the older man.

Dominick has worked at the mansion for a long time before you ever started working there. He was in his early fifties with a beer belly, chubby cheeks, tattoos covering all of his arms and a bald head. Your favorite thing about him was that he looked deadly but was the sweetest man on earth. In a weird way he had become a sort of father figure in your life. He was only one of the two people that knew about Elijah’s existence at the house. The other being Coulson, the estate manager.

“She’s probably running late, you know how that ditz is. I don’t even know why they hired her because she isn’t good at her job.”

“You know why she was hired.” You bat your lashes at Dom and smile sweetly. “Oh no, do you think you could get that for me, my skirt is way too short for me to bend over. If I do, you'd know I’m not wearing any panties.” You say in a high pitched voice. Dom laughs as he makes you a cup of coffee.

“You are trouble, Mia Cara.”

“Only the fun kind.”

“What’s the fun kind of what?” Dom turns to the stove while you turn around to see your Boss’s best friend and right hand walking into the kitchen.

Long brown hair, steel blue eyes and a smirk that could make anyone’s knees weak. Bucky Barnes takes the seat next to you at the breakfast bar and smiles in your direction while he awaits an answer.

“Nothing Mr. Barnes. It was just a conversation between Dom and I.”

“Don’t be like that doll. I just wanna be your friend is all.”

You roll your eyes and stand to wash the mug you’d used. “I don’t need friends, I need to get started with work seeing as I’m the only one here today. Have a good day Mr. Barnes.”

“Why don’t you ever call me Bucky?”

“I’ll call you Bucky the day you stop calling me Doll.” You give him a fake smile and walk out.

“Have I done something to make her so standoff-ish?”

“It’s got nothing to do with you. She just has her reasons, she’ll warm up to you eventually.”

“She didn’t have an issue being friends with you.” Bucky says annoyed at the fact.

“That’s because I’m charming and the ladies love me. Especially Y/N.”

“There’s no way, her heart is made of ice.”

“Fortunately for the rest of us, not everything revolves around you. Now let her be if she wants you to be her friend, she’ll let you in.”

Bucky just scoffs and takes the cup of coffee Dom puts in front of him.

Steve groans as he sits up in bed. Usually he’d already be up and down in his office by this time but he’d spent the better half of the early morning getting information out of some idiot that thought it’d be a good idea to steal from him. The rest of the morning was spent with the newest maid in bed.

She was pretty but she wasn’t anything special. He regretted taking her to bed the minute she started writhing beneath him like if she was possessed. He was good, he was great even, but she was just putting on a show as if that would prevent him firing her after this. Steve looked over his shoulder one more time before heading into his bathroom for a shower.

****

Once he got into his office Steve saw both Bucky and Sam waiting for him. By Bucky’s face alone Steve knew he had something to say.

“You really need to stop sleeping with the maids.” Bucky said as soon as he closed the door.

“Why does it matter who I sleep with?”

“Because you keep screwing Y/N over and I like her. She minds her business, turns a blind eye if we come in bloody and bruised and doesn’t ask any questions.”

“You’re trying to be friends with her aren’t you?”

“So what if I am? I think it would be good to befriend her, make sure she really won’t spill the beans if cops come asking questions.”

Steve rolls his eyes. He didn’t want any of his men to be friendly with you. Mostly because he wanted you for himself. So if his men did in fact become friends with you, getting you into his bed would be even more difficult. If he got what he wanted, which he always did, Steve would have to fire you. It was written into the employment contract as a way to protect himself. Steve knew his best friends and right hand men thought you were sweet, he did too. It was in your smile the first day Coulson introduced you.

The first time he made a pass at you though he also saw how angry you could get and you shut him down immediately. In all honesty your attitude turned him on so much he ended up having to take care of his hard on before he could continue his meetings. It had been a few months since then and you still wouldn’t sleep with him. So Steve getting you in his bed became a game for him. He liked the chase and you gave him the satisfaction of not being easy. But he knew it would be a matter of time before you caved and once you did he would make sure to give you a hefty sum of money and send you on your way. It didn’t matter that you were in fact a really good employee. Or that he was starting to care for you more than he’d like.

“Stop trying to be friends with the people I hire.”

“She’s different and she isn’t going to sleep with you. From what I can tell she needs the job more than she needs to get dicked down by you.” Sam finally chimed in. “Also I agree with Buck, stop fucking every woman you hire. Get someone at one of your clubs like a normal person.”

“I do who and whatever the fuck I want. That’s enough for this conversation. Do you have the buyers lined up?”

“Yes, our only issue is the Black Order. They’ve tried to corner at least three of our runners in the last few days. If we make the sale we’ll need extra bodies to make the delivery.” Bucky said, leaving behind the previous conversation and getting into work mode.

“Have Barton and Romanoff come in this afternoon so that we can plan a few routes. And have Belova and Bishop come in too, I want them on this issue with the runners.”

After that the three of them kept going on with different deals they were getting ready for. The last few months the Black Order had been trying to take over the city. Something Steve had worked hard to do and maintain. He wasn’t going to let a bunch of nobodies take over and push him out.

You’d just finished dusting the shelves in the living room and were heading to the kitchen to get some water when you see Jessica, the other maid, walk down from the second floor wearing one of Steve’s shirts. She smirks in your direction and walks straight into the kitchen with you following behind.

“Dom, make me an omelet for breakfast.” She demanded.

Dom looked at her and then at you. You only shrugged in response and grabbed a glass to get some water.

“Shouldn’t you be in your uniform? Why are you wearing that shirt?”

“Not that I have to answer to you but I won’t be needing my uniform anymore.”

“And why is that?” He asks amused.

“Well a lady shouldn’t kiss and tell but after weeks of flirting and dancing around our feelings, Steve and I have taken a step towards starting a beautiful relationship.” She says with a smile before it drops and she glared at Dom. “So unless you want me to have Steve fire you, you’ll do as I say.”

You laugh at the last part of her statement and Dom joins in.

“What is so funny? And don’t think that I haven’t seen the way you look at my Steve. You’re already on thin ice so you better show me some respect.”

“Why should I show you any respect?” You say once you’ve calmed down.

“Because I’m the lady of the house now, that’s why.”

That only makes you both laugh more and she lets out a frustrated whine.

“You obviously didn’t read the employment contract before you signed it.” You say as you wipe a tear away. Dom was still laughing, red in the face. “Coulson is going to flip out. You know how he gets all flustered when he has to fire someone.” You tell Dom and that only makes him laugh harder.

“We’ll see about that. And you can consider yourself fired after this.”

Jessica gets up and stomps her way toward Steve’s office. You and Dom follow her and watch as she opens the door without knocking and you cringe. That was a big no-no.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Steve’s tone made it clear that he was pissed.

“Stevie, will you please tell Dom that he has to do what I say?” Jessica said in a sickly sweet manner.

You rolled your eyes when you finally stepped in front of the doorway.

“Why would I tell them that? Last I checked, Coulson was responsible for the house staff.”

“I know,” she walked around his desk and sat on his lap. “But since things have changed between us and I’m now the lady of the house-“ Steve raises his hand to shut her up.

Sam and Bucky snicker. The latter looking in your direction and you mouth ‘delusional’ which only makes him laugh more.

“Where did you get the idea that you were the lady of the house?”

“Well after last night I thought that we would be together. Also I want Y/N fired.”

Steve runs a hand over his mouth and down to smooth out his beard.

“I’m not going to fire her. Now tell me, you do know what a one night stand is right?” He says as he gently pushes her off his lap.

Jessica looks at him dumbfounded while Steve picks up his office phone and asks Coulson to come into his office. The older man walks in a minute later and sighs as he realizes what’s going to happen next.

“Phil could you please explain to Jennifer the guidelines in the contract and handle whatever else is necessary.”

“My name is Jessica.” She stomps her foot like a child having a tantrum. She looked around to see if anyone was going to speak up but when no one did she focused on you. “I bet you’re really enjoying this aren’t you? He’s going to do the same with you.”

“Why do you think I haven’t slept with him?”

“Jessica, could you please follow me?” Coulson says already over the situation. “I need a meeting with you later, sir.”

Steve just waves him away and Jessica stomps all the way out of the office. Dom follows but heads to the kitchen and you remain where you are. Your attention is on the stairs as Jessica goes up to get her clothes so you don’t notice that Steve has moved to stand in front of you. When you look back he’s too close for comfort. You place your hand in the middle of his chest and push him back.

“I want a raise.” You say as you cross your arms.

Steve smirks as his eyes roam your figure and you roll your eyes.

“And why should I give you a raise?”

“For starters I’m doing the job of three people because you keep getting your dick wet with everyone Coulson hires. Also I’m a damn good employee. I deserve a raise.”

“You know I could just take care of you. All you have to do is say the word and I’d give you everything you’ve ever dreamed of.”

You lean to the side to look at Sam and Bucky who are further in the office. “Is he always like this?”

“Unfortunately for all of us, doll. I mean Y/N.”

“You should have given me a heads up on day one Buck.”

He smiles, happy that he’s getting somewhere with you.

“I’d rather keep my job. So the raise?”

“I’ll think about it.”

“It’s not like I’m asking for a million fucking dollars.” You scoff. “Oh and I get to help Coulson hire the next two employees.”

“You’d make a good lady of the house and you would never have to lift a finger again.”

“Just get tested often.” You scoff. “Get it through your head. I will not be sleeping with you ever.” You say and you turn on your heel and leave.

Steve groans as he closes the door. His forehead rests against it as he tries to ignore the fact that he’s hard, again, because of you.

“I really like her.”

Sam agrees with Bucky as Steve turns to look at both of them with a scowl on his face.

“Just give her the raise, she deserves it.”

“I’ll think about it.” He sits behind his desk again. “Where were we?”

You ended up working until at least 7:30 because you were the only one but at least it was some extra money for you. Fortunately the day was finally over and you were grateful for that and the fact that it was Friday. That means you had two days to be at home with your baby to take care of him the way you wish you could all the time.

“Hey Mrs. Fields, how did today go?” You asked as soon as you walked through the door.

“Apparently school was very good. They had some type of group project to work on. And he seems to be feeling very good today although he did lay down for a little nap around five.”

“Ok good. Here you go.” You place some cash on the table in front of her. “Thank you for everything.”

“Please take this back, I’ve told you that you don’t have to pay me. I have my husband’s pension.”

“It’s the only way I’m comfortable with you doing so much for us. Please just take it.”

“Fine, but I’m still not going to use it. If you have an emergency just know you can come to me.”

You appreciate the gesture but you worked hard so that you didn’t have to depend on anyone. It was a lesson you learned the hard way when you found out you were pregnant at sixteen. Elijah’s father disappeared and your family turned their back on you for being a so-called disgrace. Not so long after informing your mom and stepdad of the pregnancy they kicked you out. They said they couldn’t have you giving your younger stepsister a bad example. So your entire pregnancy was spent in a shelter for women. The first few months of Elijah’s life hadn’t been easy but you figured it out. You were able to finish high school while working at the same time. It was shitty pay but it was something and you haven’t stopped working since.

“I’ll never tire of saying it Mrs. Fields but I really appreciate you.”

“Oh honey, you’ve given this old woman something to look forward to. If it wasn’t for you and Eli I think I’d lose my mind all alone. Now why don’t you get some rest.” She pats your back gently. “Have a good night.”

“Good night.”

You lock the door once she’s left and head toward Eli’s room. Sure enough he’s sleeping and considering it’s evening he’d probably sleep through the night. Some of the medication tended to make him drowsy. You sit on the couch with the intention of taking off your shoes and checking your bank account so that you can pay some bills before showering and changing into pajamas. Instead you end up asleep, it was where you slept every night anyways.

“Ma.” Elijah calls out just above a whisper but it still startles you awake. The first thing you think is that he doesn’t feel well but when you sit up and look at him, he gives you a sheepish smile. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s ok baby. What’s up?”

“Nothing really. You just never came in to say good night. Then I woke up to use the bathroom and saw you asleep and you weren’t in your jammies.”

You look down and groan, causing Eli giggles.

“I’m going to take a quick shower and I’ll be right back.” You do as you said but took some extra time to let the warm water relax your muscles a bit.

It was almost midnight and yet your son sat up on the couch waiting for you. There were two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with chips and two cups of milk waiting on the coffee table. The couch also had the sheets, pillows and blanket you used all set up for you.

“What is this?” You ask as you sit down and turn on the tv just to have something on in the background while you talk.

“I set up your bed because I know you’re tired. I didn’t have dinner and I know you didn’t either. You take care of me so I can take care of you too, ma.” He said before you could protest. “Also Mrs. Fields made something but it didn’t look good so I just said I was tired and that I’d eat later.”

“So you lied?” You ask while before taking a bite of the sandwich Elijah had made.

“I didn’t want to be mean and hurt her feelings.” He frowned as he thought of his action.

“It's ok baby, I understand why you did it but we’ll talk about that later. Now this is the best Pb and J I’ve ever had. Maybe you should make dinner more often.”

“Wait until you try my cheese sandwich.” He smiles.

“If you keep it up I’ll send you to one of these cooking shows for kids. They would love you.”

“Gordon Ramsey would lose his shit if he had my cheese sandwich.” He laughs when your jaw drops.

“Elijah!”

“What? You say it all the time.”

You glare at him playfully and he just laughs more. “That’s a good point, maybe you’d be better as a lawyer.”

“I don’t like arguing. It would probably get boring because I’m pretty sure I would be right all the time.”

“At least you’ll be humble.” You chuckle.

After you’ve finished eating Eli crawls onto your lap. Fortunately he still likes to be cuddled. You put on some show he likes and when his breathing has evened out you carry him to bed and tuck him in.

You clean up quickly and lay down on the slightly lumpy couch. It doesn’t take much to fall back asleep although your back will ache lightly the next morning like it always does.

“You have got to stop.” Coulson said as he walked into Steve’s office late on Friday night. “How many more times am I going to have to deal with the same issue? It’s been at least fifteen women this year alone and it’s barely June.”

Steve rolled his eyes as he was scolded yet again for the same reason. Still he kept his mouth shut as Coulson paced the length of his office.

“And I swear you better stay away from Y/N. She’s the best damn employee I have and if she leaves because of you I’ll kick your ass myself.”

“Ok tough guy why don’t you sit down before you fuck up my floor.”

“I’m serious Steve, I know that you want her because she’s giving you a run for your money but please back off. I need her here because she keeps to herself and she won’t run her mouth with what she sees. And I know she won’t run to the cops because she needs this job more than she needs more problems.”

Steve perks up at the last part of the of his statement.

“What problems does she have?”

Coulson closes his eyes as he realizes what he’s said. You had trusted him with the information about your son in hopes that if you had to leave suddenly it wouldn’t affect your employment. Of course you had asked that he wouldn’t say anything, especially to Steve or his friends because you were afraid they might use your son against you.

“Normal people have problems Steve. Mundane problems that you’ve probably haven’t had since you became the king of New York.”

“Wait a minute, if something is wrong though I want to help her. Me wanting to sleep with her had nothing to do with that. You know I want the people that work for me well taken care of. So what is it Phil?”

“I can’t say,” Coulson shakes his head. “She asked me not to say anything and I’ve fucked it up already. Just stop trying to sleep with her, Y/N really doesn’t need to be harassed every single time she comes in to work. She’s a good kid.”

Steve studies Coulson’s face, seeing how genuine he’s being with the request. He nods, accepting what he’s been told. But the moment the door is closed he picks up his office phone and makes a call.

“Hey Parker, are you busy?” He asks one of his younger associates.

“No, do you need me for something boss? I can be there in a few minutes.”

“You don’t need to come in but I have a job for you.”

“Anything sir.”

“I need you to follow Y/N and tell me if anything is going on with her. I think she might be in some trouble and I want to help.”

“Miss Y/N, boss?” Peter sounded unsure of the request.

“Do you have a problem with that?”

“No sir, it’s just… she’s really nice and I wouldn’t want her to not trust me if she finds out that I was following her.”

Steve wonders what exactly it is that you’re doing to have his men question their loyalty to him.

“Then don’t get caught.” With that Steve hangs up the phone.

Steve’s willing to do whatever it takes to figure out what’s going on with you. He doesn’t know when it happened but he can’t stop thinking about you. The side of him that he locked away long ago that believed in love and yearned for it is trying to claw its way out. You had done that, with your smart mouth and no bullshit attitude. He moved past wanting you in bed for a night to needing to know more but he was very good at shutting down whatever those emotions were.

Steve sat back in his chair, his mind racing and thinking of the worst case scenarios and how he would help you out of them. Maybe it was an abusive boyfriend. If that were the case it would be an easy fix. Just cut off his hands for even touching you.

The last thing on his mind is that you have a child. A sick child you’d do anything for. Neither of you are prepared for everything that would be coming your way. It would be harder still to realize you’d need each other if you want to survive.

Ch. 2

Permanent taglist:

@rebekahdawkins

@cjand10

@nalny5

@Sturchling

@angywritesstuff

@seitmai

@/writing-for-marvel

@goldylions

@darkhairedmenrule

@almosttoopizza

@littleseasiren

@pono-pura-vida

@talesofadragon

@midnightramyeoncravings

Series taglist:

@lets--be-honest

@hapinessinthebeing

@sebsgirl71479

#heart’s munition series #mob!steve rogers #mob boss!steve rogers x single mom!reader #single mom!reader #steve rogers au #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers series #steve rogers x reader

311 notes · View notes

inhonoredglory · 1 year ago

Note

Hey, I reaaally love all your meta analysis, especially the one on Aziraphale's morality. You truely have a wonderful writing style! And you expressed the feelings I had about the S2 finale I couldn't put into words and had me in tears again. I never really believed in the coffee theory (although a part of me hoped for it since it would be way less painful). But there is one thing I can't wrap my head around. The coffee theory is partly supported by the final scene of Aziraphale in the elevator and his creepy smile. Even when he looks forward to his new position and is convinced he does the right thing, I can't believe he wouldn't smile like that (and Michael Sheen is to talented for it being am accident). He still lost his soulmate Crowley, he still had to give up the life he loved so dearly and we know how much he struggled with that in the first place talking to Metatron. So why this smile, which aside from that, really did not look like him? I fear, that his memories were wiped out in this elevator. But since you have so a great understanding of Aziraphale's character, I would like to know your theories about that? Thanks a lot!!

(In response to my meta on why Aziraphale had to go to Heaven)

Thank you so much for your kind words, @sabotage-on-mercury (truly means the world to me). Honestly, the creepy smile was one part of the ending I couldn't quite put my finger on either, until someone pointed out on a Twitter response to my meta:

The reason why its scary is bc azi is becoming properly angry at the system and is 101% determined to set things right (Source)

In season 1, Aziraphale was determined not to kill anyone to stop the Apocalypse. He wouldn't even tell Crowley where the Antichrist was, because Crowley's only solution was to kill him.

And because Crowley consistently didn't have any ideas ("not one single better idea??"), Aziraphale took it on himself to pursue the only option left––to ask God to intervene and stop both Heaven and Hell from destroying Earth. Therefore, Aziraphale had to keep the integrity of his angel status by distancing himself from Crowley, while the world was still in danger.

Despite this dedication avoid bloodshed, when God didn't have an answer, Aziraphale went against one of his core beliefs to help save the world. He was willing to murder a child.

For Aziraphale, that takes guts. And (seeing how he reacted at the end of the Job minisode), I wonder that if he had killed Adam Young, Aziraphale would have checked himself into Hell.

Going to Heaven for Aziraphale is ultimately a conscious choice, one that he is clearly afraid of. We see him constantly steeling himself again the Metatron in the end, covering his fear and hurt from losing Crowley with a placid smile and a flippant attitude. He's wearing so many masks, to Crowley, to himself, to the Metatron...

All season we've seen him playing roles (detective, magician, doctor, landlord). But the final role is warrior. Going up that elevator, we first see Aziraphale's eyes searching, worried, panicking, but unable to show it because he's not in a safe space. He swallows, blinks, he's breathing hard (you can see his entire shoulders rise and fall).

But as he goes up, his expression steels. He's quite literally putting on a mask (to himself): a vengeful, hardened expression of pure anger and rage (to drown out the fear and uncertainty he so clearly still has).

Michael Sheen conveying contained anger in both Good Omens and Masters of Sex (gif by @julielilac)

Cuz this isn't just him scrambling to kill a kid, this is him walking calmly and knowingly into sacrificing everything he loves most (Crowley, the bookshop, his entire life on earth) to create a world that will always be safe for him and Crowley and humanity for the rest of time. Where he would have to go up against the most powerful angels, the Metatron, and God Themself to change things. He can't be the kind, sweet angel he was on Earth. That won't cut it in Heaven if he wants to make a difference in any real way.

He wanted to do it with Crowley, with the love and support and strength of his demon. But without him, Aziraphale has to channel something else to keep his resolve afloat.

Something he had when he was a warrior, fighting on the front lines of a battle between Heaven and Hell, when he very likely led a platoon into divine fields of bloodshed before the earth was born. When he was an avenging angel.

I haven’t done this since the Great War.

It was a time and an identity he had chosen to leave behind, because it wasn't the kind of angel he was anymore ("I'm not fighting in any war!"). In this context, you can read Aziraphale's passionate unwillingness to take a life (his pacifism) directly into his past experience as a warrior. It is often the veterans of terrible wars who are the most earnest advocates for peace. (And especially in Britain and Europe, where the violence of the world wars is still such a powerful and painful national memory.)

As he goes up the elevator, he's breathing so hard we can hear it mirrored in the soundtrack, and he is so hyperfocused on steeling himself that he doesn't even care that the Metatron is watching him. He doesn't rest until he's psyched himself into that warrior mindset necessary to carry out this mission entirely by himself, to be both the moral advocate and the uncompromising leader of angels who had intimidated him his entire life. To demand respect and to talk to the very face of God and tell Them they are Wrong.

(Please read this Neil-approved meta for further thoughts on God and Aziraphale.)

That creepy smile is clearly not there because Aziraphale is happy to fall into a toxic parent's false love. There's no comfort or wistful nostalgia in that face. There's no "it'll be so much nicer" in that smile. It's not a happy smile. It's an I'm-gonna-fuck-shit-up smile.

Because it's a warrior's smile before they go into battle, before they put on that armor and, for a while, become something they're not in the name of some greater good. He's fucking furious and it's downright frightening.

Because I have no doubt that the angel Aziraphale we get in Season 3 is the angel Aziraphale who can say this:

He's not there yet in the TV show. But this bravery, this anger, this flaming rage is how it starts.

Or as he's described in the book when Aziraphale mysteriously does away with the local mafia:

Just because you’re an angel doesn’t mean you have to be a fool.

#good omens #good omens 2 #ineffable husbands #good omens meta #good omens 2 meta #go s2 #michael sheen #aziraphale #go meta #aziraphale defense squad #aziraphale meta #*mine #*mymeta #why are the gifs acting up nauur

118 notes · View notes

emerxshiu · 8 months ago

Text

i forgot it was april fools lol. i definitly did not end up sprinkling in a bunch of memes in there, nope, not at all.

I havent checked my dashboard until a few minutes earlier, but now im booping everyone i find in there, its just so damm fun! its kinda sad that its just for april fools, i wish the booping stayed forever like its way too silly i love it.

Oh yeah the drawing yep aight. So uh, i had the idea yesterday and this looks NOTHING like what i had planned, it was just going to be a plain white backgroung, and i was trying to make it look like a pencil sketch (kinda). and simple coloring. but i had a lot of problems and drawing this ended up being really frustrating but im kinda happy with the result even if it difers so much from the og idea.

also here is a clean version (aka no memes)

i tend to change my idea as im drawing so after i realized this was not going to look like i thought, i tried some effects and i came up with the idea of making it look...off.

Backgrounf with saturated colors consisting of red and blue and a fecto elfilis who looks rather dreamy, wich is totally not kinda inspired by isolated isles and high school musical 2 believe it or not (im confused as to how that was present in my mind as inspiration but i guess anything works as a reference) and contrasting with the darker background from how light and glowy i made him.

Fun fact: when i drew elfilis here, they were reminding me of a bunny, so you could kinda count this as a bit of an easter post since im probably going to forget to do something for that.

fun fact 2: this image is based on a fanfic im writing right now, i havent posted it yet, and when i do im pretty sure i'll put it into the Anonymous collection, since what im writing is very different from my usual, i tend to write about my splatoon ocs or sometimes about kirby characters, most of these fics tend to be general with not a lot of archieve warnings and stuff (save for one but that one was very very tame and just had an implication of a character dying at the end) and they're oneshots, most of them, this one is also a oneshot. i just enjoy writing that, but its a little bit....how to say it? bloody, i just have like the start made and its probably going to take me a while to finish, im also thinking of reading it multiple times since most of my works are usually just the first draft. but uh since its quite different and has that im quite scared of the reception it might have when i post it, in fact a lot of times i dont post stuff since even tho i know i shouldnt worry about others, i still do like an idiot, i just cant help caring about what other people think of me. and yeah basically its just not like the usual fluff i write.

next post might be splatoon related since im redesigning some ocs i had, or it might be princess peach showtime because my father got me the game and im loving it

Thank you for listening to my unnecesarily long rambles and Jambuhbye!

#art #fanart #kirby #kirby fanart #kirby gijinka #digital art #firealpaca #fecto elfilis #fecto elfilis gijinka #no one is in the bottom left corner i swear #if you squint this is pretty much the Grant Gustin Next To Oliver Queen's Grave meme #i said nothing no one is there #my lil sis says elfilis is a 10/10 girboss and im proud of her for us to finally agree on something #gikabi #april fool's day

28 notes · View notes

heartnosekid · 1 year ago

Text

hey friends, i need to gush a lil - feel free to skip this post if you don’t want my gushing lol

so, i’m just. without words to express how grateful i am to all of you. when i started this blog, i was at my lowest creatively. in all honesty, i was spiraling. i was so full of creative energy and ideas, but i had no outlet through which i could feel satisfied. that left me feeling very overwhelmed and empty at the same time. i am an author primarily, but i’ve always loved visual arts and creating visually pleasing things.

long story short, this blog and all of you have honestly saved me from the worst creative drought of my entire life. i have always created, been known for creating, and excelled at creating, and when i came to the tallest wall of inability to create i’d ever seen, i was met with a request to create. and i have scarcely stopped since.

i am so thankful and grateful and blessed to have my work viewed and appreciated by so many of you. i cannot stress it enough, you all have changed my life. it may sound silly, being that i run a tumblr stim blog and know literally 3 out of you 14.000 (what?!) personally, but i don’t say this lightly.

you all have changed the way i feel about my art, which was something i have always deeply struggled with. you have taught me that no matter how small my contributions may be, they still matter to at least one person. that person could be me, or the person i created something for; regardless, i have made a hopefully positive impact on someone.

i love you all so very much. as a disabled person who has a lot of free time, i have known how much of my time can be spent worrying, despairing, or self sabotaging. but since i started taking requests and teaching myself how to consistently create without burning out, i spend a good bit of my energy focusing on the good i can give to people, even if it is only in the form of a stimboard or a gifset.

if you’ve made it this far, thank you. thank you so much. you mean the absolute world to me, and i hope that this blog and i mean something to you, anything at all. because it literally was my lifesaver, and so were you.

thank you all, i love you endlessly, & blessed be,

gratefully yours, ish 💕

#ish talks #💕💕💕

58 notes · View notes

jessicaloons · 1 year ago

Text

Chapter 23.1:

Freedom felt like summer then, on the coast…

Masterlist - Previous - Part 2

I looked over my bed, thinking about the next almost 3 weeks and if I had thought of everything, when there was a little knock on the door.

"Here, put the dresses in this clothing bag, they won’t crinkle in there." Mum walked in, handing me a clothing bag.

"Thanks Mum. I really hope that it’s enough? I know that we’ll be the first week together in Corse? Then a little party in Ibiza? But then? No idea, he’s not telling me anything? Is that enough? Do I need more outfits?" I looked at her and she smiled.

"I think you have enough… I mean, 10 dresses alone? I think that should be fine?" she said and I nodded.

"Yeah probably… umm Mum, can I talk to you and Dad? It’s… umm it’s important?" I asked her.

"Sure? Now? Okay, I’ll tell Dad, see you downstairs?"

"Yeah, I’ll be down in a minute…" I gathered myself, taking a deep breath. This is what I want. It’s normal. It’s okay. Let’s do this!

I sat down at the table and Mum and Dad both looked at me.

"What’s up?" Dad asked casually as he sipped on his water and I swallowed hard.

"I umm… I was thinking that- umm…" I began nervously before I shut my mouth again and grabbed the water carafe and poured something in an empty glass, nervously gulping down half of it.

"Lizzie darling, what’s going on?" Mum asked and looked concerned.

I put the glass down, taking a deep breath and started over again.

"Mum, Dad, I thought about this for a long time… I want to… I want to move out. And I don’t want to move just somewhere… I want to move to, well I want to move to Monaco. Or close to Monaco, because I don’t think that I can afford a flat there, not even the size of a shoebox… but it’s just… Shima has to move to Nice due to her new job. JK could be with his girlfriend instead of travelling back and forth between here and Nice. I would be close to Charles, Arthur, Lorenzo, Pascale! And of course it’s beneficial for my lungs…" I said and looked at them.

"And you were nervous why? Lizzie, you’re 24? You don’t have to ask for our permission!" Mum grabbed my hand over the table and squeezed it gently. "And when you live close to Charles and Pascale I’m not even worried."

"We didn’t expect you to live with us forever, you know?" Dad laughed and I sighed.

"Yeah… it’s just. It’s financially a lot to burden. I don’t know what I could afford? I mean, I don’t even know how much money I have? I never cared for it, you and Rita were discussing all the details of my contracts in the past, taking care of my money… now the inheritance from Hans…" I looked at him and Dad got a hold of his phone, tapping away.

"Okay. So breakdown of your financial situation. I’m talking now only of the savings account, consisting out of your price money for winning the WSeries, your basic salary from Audi and your salary from companies your doing commercials for or you’re partnered with… plus the now available inheritance…" he shoved his phone over the table, showing my bank statement and I gulped "I think Monaco is definitely doable."

"Holy shit? I’m rich? How did I never know that?" I kept staring at the very high amount of money and Dad chuckled.

"Because you never cared for it? Since the moment you earned money with racing you only wanted us to transfer a little amount monthly into your account. You didn’t even spent a lot of money for your car? You bought a used one… yeah you lived really frugal!" Dad said and Mum smiled proudly at me.

"Let’s be honest, since the beginning of the year, where Dad increased the amount of money he transferred into your account, how much of it did you really use?" Mum asked and I shrugged my shoulders.

"I mean, I didn’t even know that you increased it? But… not much? During race weeks I don’t need much. When we’re going out, I’m not allowed to pay… Charles is really old school when it comes to that… I only spent money for basic stuff and every once in a while when I go shopping, rather online shopping and for books? Oh yeah and my flights… but that’s it? I didn’t even had to buy my own cars, with Audi gifting them to me." I said and Dad laughed.

"And you’re wondering why there’s so much money in your accounts?"

"I guess it makes sense… but when we talk about money… the karting track, the business accounts etc that’s yours Dad. You put in the whole work. You take care of everything. So it’s just fair when that is your money. No! Dad! Don’t say anything! I’m serious!"

"But as soon as it opens again, and the track makes profit again, 50 % will go straight into your account. That’s what Hans wanted."

"If you insist…" I sighed a little.

"So your first flat… any special wishes?" Mum asked and I nodded a little.

"I want 2 bedrooms, a full bathroom and a guest bathroom, a nice kitchen preferably open to the living room and a balcony. Nothing too big. And yeah… Monaco would be great." I said and they both nodded.

"Talk with a realtor and then let’s see." Dad said and I smiled.

"I think I know the right guy for that…" I said and got up. Finishing packing up. And then Dad drove me to the airport.

"Alright, I see you guys tomorrow!" I hugged him goodbye.

"Yep! And have fun later on… and always smile!" he kissed my cheek and I sighed a little.

"I hate sponsoring events… but I know it’s part of my job…" I waved him goodbye and left.

I smiled for the cameras, talked to some of the guests, took photos here and there and then the little lunch was over, finally. I got in the car that would take me to Monaco and I honestly couldn’t wait. The summer break officially started.

Charles awaited me downstairs, grabbing my suitcases, leading me inside and as soon as the elevator doors were closed he pulled me into him, kissing me passionately.

"I missed you…" he whispered against my lips and I giggled a little.

"Charlie you’ve seen me two days ago!"

"That’s way too long!" he sighed and we entered his flat "I ordered some food, should be here any minute, you can change and then we’ll have a quiet night? Perfect!"

I kissed his cheek and went to the bed room, changing into some sweatpants and a top and then sitting down on the sofa, when I heard Charles talking to someone on the phone. I grabbed my own phone and called the first person that I had in my mind when thinking about buying a flat in Monaco.

"Alright, thanks Riccardo!" I hung up.

"What was that about?" Charles asked and I flinched "Sorry." he kissed my forehead before he sat down, a bag full of take out in his hands.

"I was talking with him about… well he will look for a flat for me…" I said sheepishly and Charles looked at me.

"What? Where? You wanna move out?" he asked and I nodded.

"Here of course?" I laughed and he looked confused "What?"

"You want to move to Monaco?" he said and I nodded "Why would you buy a flat?"

"Umm? To live in it?" I was confused.

"Cara mia, why would you spend millions of euros for a flat here if you could move in with me for free?" he asked and I swallowed.

"Charles… it’s just that…" the look on his face made me stop.

"It’s just that you don’t want to live with me? That’s it…" he said and I shook my head.

"No! Charles it’s not like that! But… hey! Please look at me! I would love to live with you! But Charles, we’re only together for what? 3 months now?" I began and he rolled his eyes "I never lived alone! Not once! I just want to have my own place first… it’s an experience I don’t want to miss out on…"

"Hmm, okay." Charles mumbled and got up.

"Please, don’t be mad!" I pleaded and he looked at me.

"I’m not mad… it’s just… sometimes I feel like… I feel like you don’t trust this… us… or at least not entirely. But yeah, it’s your decision in the end…" he walked away and I sighed. Great. But before I could get up and follow him, he returned with cutlery that was missing, as I just realised now.

"But if you move here, then we need to look for a building with good security! And an underground parking garage! I don’t want fans and whatever other crazy people are out there swarm you when you park your car in the streets and want to get in your house!" he said and began to eat.

"Okay wait… a minute ago you said you have the feeling that I’m not sure about us and now you’re talking about my safety?" I asked confused.

"And? I can have my doubts from time to time and still love you and care about your safety?" he answered and I rolled my eyes. "What?"

"That sucks!" I breathed out and he put his knife and fork down.

"What? That it makes me insecure when you say things like we’re only dating for, we’re only been together for, it’s only a short time that we’re together, and so on? Yeah… that sucks for me too, because I never not once heard you refer to us as a couple in a serious relationship… and that’s okay… but I can be upset about it." he said and I looked at him. Then I began to eat and Charles picked up his cutlery.

"I’m sorry… that I make you feel this way about us…" I said after a while.

"Don’t be… I know you long enough to know that you need time to adjust to this… it’s okay. But like I said, I don’t have to be happy about it, but that doesn’t mean that I’m mad at you or love you less. Because I never could. Never less." he replied and I felt myself blushing for some reason.

"Why did you never say something? That it’s something that bothers you?"

"I don’t know… a part of me said that I shouldn’t care about it, because I know how you feel and I know that what we have is real and strong and serious and… I don’t know, I guess a little part of me was still scared that you might change your mind, with everything that is going on already, and when you said these things… I kinda felt insecure?" he sighed a little and I took his hands.

"I’m sorry… really! I didn’t knew, I always thought that you had so much confidence… in this. In us." I looked at him and he smiled.

"I have, Lizzie! 100%. But yeah a teeny tiny part of me is still scared to lose you… and I think I made a big deal out of nothing."

"No, don’t say that, please. If something like this bothers you? God! Even hurts you? Then please tell me. You and I. This. It’s real. A real and serious relationship." I kissed his cheek and I could swear his cheeks were turning slightly red.

"Thank you." Charles whispered and I just smiled at him.

"Will you tell me now what you have planned for us?" I asked and he chuckled.

"Nope. You gotta wait and see."

Charles POV:

"Why aren’t Benji and Marcus and Lisa here?" Liam asked and I sighed.

"They are invited to a friend’s wedding, so they stay there for a bit."

"But then I’m the only kid… that’s boring." he pouted and I had to laugh.

"Oh come on! Arthur is here as well!" I said.

"I heard that!" Arthur shouted from behind me "We will keep you entertained, don’t worry!"

"See! Arthur to the rescue!" I laughed and Liam nodded.

"Okay. But we do fun stuff for kids as well? Not just for grown ups?" he asked and I rolled my eyes.

"You know that I like fun stuff for kids way more than grown up stuff!"

"Just the grown up stuff with your auntie he loves to do…" Arthur chuckled under his breath and I hit him, while Liam looked at him confused.

"What does that mean?" he asked immediately and I groaned.

"You take care of that!" I whisper shouted to Arthur and got up.

I walked down the stairs to the pool where Lizzie laid on one of the sun beds, basking in the sun. I sat down next to her and heard a soft little snore coming from her and laid down next to her. As if she could feel my presence, she rolled over and snuggled up to my side. I smiled to myself, thinking that this would be my life for the rest of my days. I closed my eyes and relaxed when after a while someone tapped my shoulder and I looked up.

"Hey Bubba." I smiled at him and he rubbed his eyes a little, looking tired. I patted the sun bed next to me "Come here, it’s nap time." he smiled and laid down next to me, doing the same like his aunt, snuggling into my side. He yawned a little and wiggled around "What’s the matter? Not comfy?"

"The sun is too bright." he mumbled and I chuckled a little.

"I’m sorry, but that’s something I can’t change unfortunately."

He sighed and climbed on me, burying his face in the crook of my neck.

"That’s better." he whispered and I laughed.

"As long as you’re comfy!" I put my arm around him to make sure he won’t fall off and closed my eyes again.

I stretched a little when I opened my eyes and looked to my left, Lizzie was gone but Liam still snuggled onto my chest.

"You look so cute, I don’t want to wake him, but Sissy said that he gets grumpy if he sleeps for too long…" Lizzie whispered as she sat down next to me.

"Did you have a good nap?" I asked her and she nodded "Perfect. Now let’s wake up this little munchkin…" I gently rubbed his back, tickled his sides a little and Liam began to wiggle around "Come on Bubba! Wake up!" I cooed and he yawned a little before he slowly sat up, rubbing his eyes.

"Can we go swimming, Charlie?" he asked, voice still sleepy.

"Let’s fully wake up first, have something to drink and maybe a little snack? And then later on we go swimming?"

"Okay." he snuggled back into my chest and I laughed.

"That doesn’t mean we go back to sleep!" I said and Lizzie gently stroked his back.

"Carry me. Too tired." Liam mumbled and I sighed, getting up.

"Okay, my little Bubba. I’ll carry you." I said and walked up the stairs towards the house.

"He has you wrapped around his little finger." Lizzie laughed and we walked inside.

"Something you Doetterer’s are really good at." Arthur chimed in and Lizzie laughed even more.

"Could you stop with your comments?" I groaned and he just shook his head.

"I’m just saying the truth." he shrugged his shoulders and plopped down on the sofa.

"Carla? Could you please make your boyfriend behave?" I said to her and she laughed.

"He’s your brother, if anyone can do it then it’s… oh wait. Yeah, your mum." she said and Lizzie sat down next to her, laughing. I sat Liam down next to her and walked to the kitchen, opening the fridge to grab something to drink.

"There is a fruit plate in the fridge." Marina said as she and Maman walked in, both carrying bags full of groceries in.

"Do you need help?" I asked but Lorenzo and Juergen walked in next, hands full as well.

"No we have these two, carrying our stuff for us." Maman said and I chuckled a little.

"Here." I handed Liam a water bottle and put some on the coffee table before I grabbed the fruit plate and put it next to the drinks.

"Yummy!" Liam sat up and grabbed a melon slice and then two more, handing one to Carla and one to Lizzie.

"What about me?" Arthur asked and Liam chuckled.

"You have to impress the ladies, not the boys." he said and I laughed out loud, almost slipping off the arm rest of the sofa.

"You heard it, you have to impress me!" Carla said and Arthur rolled his eyes sitting up, grabbing a slice of melon for himself.

"Here." Liam handed her some strawberries and then turned to Arthur wiggling his eyebrows.

"I might want a boyfriend upgrade." Carla chuckled, pinching Liams cheek.

"Yeah, me too!" Lizzie looked at me and I immediately handed her some more fruits "Or maybe not… we’ll see." I kissed her head when I walked back to the kitchen, helping to store away the groceries, listening in on Lorenzo’s and Juergen’s conversation.

"I can take a look at the accounts if you want to. It shouldn’t be too hard to separate the business accounts from the private ones." Lorenzo said and Juergen nodded.

"Hans’ karting track?" I asked and they both nodded "Everything alright?"

"Yeah. It’s just a bit messy with the accounting. I want it to be clearly divided between Lizzie’s inheritance and the business accounts. He left her a huge amount of money." Juergen said.

"Yeah, Lizzie told me that he was really generous?"

"Generous? That’s not even enough to fathom what he left her."

"He loved her a lot." I shrugged my shoulders.

"That he did."

"And the business accounts are also very well stocked. So all the plans you have are fully covered. The remodel and renovation will be amazing." Lorenzo said and I smiled, knowing that Lizzie would be more than happy to see the karting track shine again, under the lead of her dad.

"But when we are talking about the inheritance… did Lizzie tell you that she wants to move to Monaco?" Juergen asked and I nodded.

"Yeah. We talked about it…" I said sitting down at the counter.

"You don’t seem happy about it?" Lorenzo asked and Juergen looked up from the sink.

"I am happy. Really. We just had a little… well it wasn’t a fight or anything, let’s say we had a little disagreement. That’s it."

"And what was it about? Is it settled?" Juergen looked at me.

"I told her that I don’t understand why she would spend millions for a flat if she could just move in with me… I mean, let’s be honest, as soon as she lives in Monaco, I will be at her place all the time or she’ll be at mine… it’s a waste of money…" waiting for their reaction, almost expecting them to have the same one as Lizzie.

"You’re right. It will be a waste of money… but it’s her money…" Juergen said and I looked up "What? You thought I had a different opinion? Maybe like Lizzie? I know my daughter… she wasn’t happy with your suggestion?"

"Not really. No." I sighed.

"I want what’s best for her, and if she decides to move away, I would feel a lot more relieved to know that she lives with you… but I won’t say anything. She has set a budget. She has a little list with things that she wants."

"Yeah. That list was a joke! 2 bedrooms, 1.5 bathrooms, nice kitchen, open floor plan and a balcony. That was it? No, I told her already that it has to be a building with high security. Underground parking. A good neighbour hood…" I began but Lorenzo and Juergen laughed.

"Oh come on, Charles. It’s Monaco! Every neighbour hood is a good neighbour hood." Juergen said but I rolled my eyes.

"I meant that I want her close… to, you know, check in every now and then…" I said.

"You mean you want her in close range for a booty call." Arthur appeared next to me and Lorenzo laughed, Juergen cocked an eyebrow and I just slapped the back of his head.

"What is wrong with you? Are you serious?" I said furiously.

"I’m just saying what everyone is thinking!" he held up his hands but I shook my head.

"Then be like everyone else and just think it!" I got up and left.

"Oh come on! I’m just messing with you! Charles?" Arthur said but I flipped him off and grabbed Liam.

"Come on, let’s go swimming." I said and he giggled excitedly.

"Yay!"

"I think he has a little crush on Carla." I said to Charles who looked up from his book just in time to see how Liam handed Carla a bottle of water and then blushed when she gave him a little peck on the cheek, giggling like crazy and running away.

"He’s a charming little fella, no one is immune against those puppy eyes… I know what I’m talking about." he kissed my shoulder and I laughed.

"Poor Arthi, at the end of this trip he’ll be single!" I leaned back and Charles chuckled.

"When do we have the dinner reservation?" Sissy asked as she walked out on the terrace, sitting down on a lounger next to us.

"Half past 6. We‘ll meet you guys there. I want to go back to that cute little bookstore. They had so many beautiful special editions, the illustrations are gorgeous." I said and Charles nodded.

"Okay." Sissy said and I checked the time.

"Alright I’ll go upstairs and get ready" I said and got up and went to our bedroom, taking a quick shower and getting ready.

"You look pretty…" Charles said as he walked in, big smile on his face.

"Thanks." I said and looked in the mirror, Charles stepping behind me.

"I always loved your hair like that, in summer. It’s brighter, and the salt water makes it wavy. And you get these cute tiny freckles on your nose, almost invisible, just if you come close enough you can see them." he kissed my nose and I giggled.

"Stop it! If we want to have enough time at the book store, we need to go now! So hurry up! Get ready!" I scolded him a little.

"Almost done!" he chuckled and took a shower, dressed up and was ready to go in under 15 minutes.

"When you can do it this fast? Why do you need almost an hour usually?" I asked as we walked downstairs, out to the car.

"Because I like to take my time." he opened my door and pushed me gently in.

"So when I get ready, you keep on nagging me to hurry up. But when you get ready you just take your damn time instead of hurrying, just like me?" I asked and he nodded.

"Yup, pretty much it."

"You’re an ass."

"Your ass."

"My ass." I sighed dramatically.

"Why did I knew that we would be the first ones here, although we took our damn time in that bookstore?" we walked inside the restaurant, no ones else there.

"Maybe they’re sitting outside?" Charles asked a waiter "Or not. He said we could sit outside as long as they’re preparing our tables. Come on pretty girl, I ordered us something to drink." I followed him outside, on the terrace overlooking the harbour. He pulled out my chair and I sat down.

"Thank you." I smiled at him and he sat down next to me, both facing the busy harbour "It’s so beautiful here… I’m gonna miss this. It was quiet. Peaceful."

"Yeah. It was great just being us. Hugging and kissing you, carefree. No cameras. No fans. No pressure." he sighed a little and put his hand on my thigh underneath the table, gently stroking my naked skin that was peaking out from my dress. The waiter put down our drinks and told us that our table was ready for us but we could enjoy the drinks first.

"Cheers, to the first part of our journey." Charles said and we toasted our glasses when someone behind us called out Charles name.

"Charles? Is that you?" a male voice asked in French and we turned around.

"Fred? Hi! What are you doing here?" Charles wanted to get up from his chair, but Fred patted his arm and leaned down and they hugged.

"Lizzie! It’s so good to see you again!" he leaned down to me and we kissed cheeks "I hope they all treat you right in the paddock?"

"Umm… sure…" I said and he chuckled.

"I hope they try to at least…" he said and I nodded "Good! That’s really good!" he smiled and then looked at our table and the two drinks "So, am I interrupting a date? Are you two finally a couple?"

I chocked on my drink and Charles handed me a napkin.

"We’re not- umm… no. We’re here with our family!" Charles stammered and Fred laughed, patting his back.

"I know how love looks, boy. And you loved this girl here even back in F2 when she was testing for us and you were testing for Haas." he said and I felt my cheeks turning red "But I understand… it’s a secret! I won’t tell anyone!" he zipped his mouth shut and Charles smiled appreciatively "Just make sure to name your first son after me!" he laughed and now Charles blushed as well a little.

Before one of us could say anything more, Liam run up to us.

"I’m heeeeereeee!" he screeched and then stopped abruptly when he saw Fred "Oh."

"Liam, this is Fred. He was my team principal when I started in F1." Charles introduced him and Liam smiled shyly up at Fred.

"Hi." Liam held his hand out and Fred took it in his, shaking it.

"Hello Liam, we already met once! You were a baby back then." he said and Liam made big eyes.

"I was at a race as a baby?" he asked excitedly.

"Yup you were, Bubba!" Charles said and Liam clapped excitedly, as the rest of our family finally caught up to Liam. They all said their hellos with Fred before he had to leave.

"It was nice to see you all! Enjoy the rest of your break, you two! See you around!" he waved goodbye and was gone, right as a waiter came to bring us to our table.

When the conversations died down a little and we were ready to leave, we drove back to our rental house, sitting around the fire pit.

"I don’t want you two to leave!" Liam pouted a little while climbing into Charles’ lap.

"I know Bubba. But we see you in Spa? That’s in 2 weeks already! And tomorrow Benji will come and you have another week here! That’s not too bad now?" he said gently and Liam nodded slowly.

"Hmm okay. You’re right." he whispered, playing with one of Charles’ bracelets "But I’ll miss you."

"You know that I miss you every day when I don’t see you?" Charles whispered back and Liam looked up at him.

"Really?" he asked and Charles hugged him close.

"Of course, Bubba!" Charles kissed his head and Liam cuddled up into his embrace "Here, take that and whenever you miss me, look at the bracelet!" Charles slipped the bracelet Liam played before off of his wrist and put it around Liams wrist, making it tighter.

"I can really keep it?" Liams eyes sparkled and Charles nodded.

"Thank you." he threw his arms around Charles’ neck and giggled a little. After a while he got up and started to read in one of his books.

We all sat together, talking, when Liam brought Carla a little blanket and put it around her shoulders, when he saw her shivering a bit.

"Oh Liam! You’re a real little gentleman! Thank you!" she kissed his cheek and he blushed a little, returning to his seat giggling.

"He’s a real charmer!" I whispered to Charles.

"He learned from the best!" he said proudly and I laughed "Why are you laughing? I’m serious?"

"Yeah! Of course you are!" I said and he pinched my side.

"What? I’m not charming?" he asked me and cocked an eyebrow.

"Very, very charming!" I smiled at and kissed him "The most charming person I know."

"Thank you." he kissed my cheek as Arthur plopped down next to Liam, holding his heart like he was in pain.

"You okay, Arthi?" Liam looked up at him.

"No! You little munchkin! You have to stop or my girlfriend will leave me!" Arthur sighed dramatically.

"For me?" he asked and I had to suppress my laughter.

"You’re a little too young, Bubba. But you are just too charming and cute! I can’t keep up with you! So, can you pleeeeaaase tone it down a bit?" Arthur pleaded a little and Liam chuckled.

"Okay. But when I’m older and she still wants a boyfriend upgrade, I‘ll be there!"

"Deal!" Arthur pulled Liam to his side and ruffled his hair and I laughed out loud.

"Liam’s crush on Carla and Arthur sweating because Bubba might or might not steal away his girlfriend really was my highlight of this trip!" I whispered and Charles nodded.

"Definitely!"

"5 days just straight party?" I sighed and leaned back on the sun bed and Charles next to me laughed.

"What? Too old to keep up?" he cocked an eyebrow and I slapped his thigh.

"No but a week full of running around with Liam was exhausting after a very tiring first half of the season!" I said, closing my eyes, ignoring the tension I felt for a couple of weeks now in my back.

"You’re the youngest of us and you’re the one complaining?" Shima laughed and I flinched.

"You’re here!" I screeched and jumped up, hugging first her and then Daniel.

"We’re here. We’re ready. Let’s party!" Daniel said and hugged first Charles then Joris "Where’s the other happy couple?"

"Still in their room. Marta doesn’t feel too well." Charles said.

"Oh okay." Daniel said and sat down on one of the loungers "Is it too early for a drink?"

"I already had a breakfast margarita." I chuckled and he cocked an eyebrow.

"What is a breakfast margarita?"

"A margarita she drank during breakfast…" Charles laughed and I shrugged my shoulders.

"We’re in Ibiza to have fun I thought?"

"You are absolutely right, cara mia. We are!" Charles pinched my side and we ordered another round of drinks, toasting to the next days.

"So, the first half of your first season in Formula 1 is done. Top 3 of your favourite races and Top 3 of your worst..." Joris said and Charles rolled his eyes.

"Guys! No talking about work!" he groaned and I chuckled.

"Don’t be so grumpy! Okay. Worst. Top 3. Let’s see. In third place Miami, I mean… I DNFd. In second place… umm Imola and Barcelona? They were both not my best performances. But the top spot is fucking Montreal. That whole weekend was cursed!" I took a big sip of my cocktail, while Joris contemplated my answers.

"I would’ve thought Miami would be your number 1… because you know…" he said and I laughed.

"Because so DNFd? I mean, wasn’t the best weekend, but it was a new track with almost zero data to compare. No, it wasn’t the worst."

"Okay. Now you Charles." Daniel said and Charles sat up, sighing.

"Okay, if I have too. Third Miami. Second Imola. First France."

"But you won Miami?" Shima asked and Joris looked at him confused.

"Yeah but I also almost lost Lizzie, again." his voice was void of any emotion. It’s sounded more like a straight fact.

"The crash wasn’t that bad! Come on!" I took his hand in mine.

"But I didn’t know that. You didn’t respond. And the marshals had to get you out of the car… I didn’t know how bad or not it was." Charles voice was quiet, and he looked down.

"But I was- I am okay." I squeezed his hand and made him look at me "It’s all good."

"I know…"

"Okay… it’s getting a little too sad here. Top 3 of your best now go!" Joris clapped his hands and pointed to me.

"Third was Australia. What a race! And a freaking P2! Second… oh yeah! Bahrain! First race first podium! And first obviously Silverstone!" I lifted my glass to the sky and drank on Hans.

"Good picks. Charles?"

"Third Austria. Second Australia and first Miami." he said and now we all looked at him confused "As bad as it was… I didn’t just win the race that day. I also-" Charles began but I had to interrupt him.

"If you say no something cheesy like but you also won the race to my heart… I’ll push you in the pool!" I cocked an eyebrows and Joris and Shima nodded agreeing.

"I help you, Lizzie."

"Me too!"

"Oh come on! It’s cute!" Daniel chimed in he and Charles high fived, before Charles stood up.

"In first place Miami because I won the race on track and the race to mon amours heart!" he cannon balled into the pool and I had to laugh "Come on in! Let’s start the party!" Charles waved for us to join him and I followed his lead, Joris, Daniel and Shima right on my heels.

"IBIZA HERE WE GO!"

Shima, Marta and I sat cramped together on the bathroom floor of Charles’ and mine bathroom, doing our make up and our hairs.

"I think I just do a little glitter here and there and a little eyeliner and that’s it!" I said and Shima laughed, straightening her hair.

"You mean I do your eyeliner."

"Exactly." I laughed and Marta handed me the hair straightener and I smiled at her "And I’m so glad that you’re feeling better again!"

"Me too! The first 3 days of Ibiza and I had a stomach bug." she said looking a little flustered.

"Are you sure you’re okay?" I asked her and she nodded.

"Of course! Sure my stomach is still a little sensitive but it’s fine. Water and coke for me tonight. I don’t need alcohol to party with my friends!"

"I don’t need it… but I want it!" Shima laughed and Marta and I joined in "Will you show us now your dress?"

"Ooouuuhhh yeah! I’m dying to see it!" Marta agreed and I rolled my eyes.

"It’s nothing that special! It’s just a little… well you’ll see!" I said and we got up, leaving the bathroom and the 2 girls sat down on our bed "Okay, I’ll put it on!" I grabbed the black dress and left hurriedly. I took off my shirt and shorts and looked at the dress. Now that I had it in my hand I was a little worried. But I put it on and turned around, looking into the mirror "Wow…" I mumbled, that was short and tight.

"Come on! Let us see!" Shima screeched and I stepped out of the bathroom, both of them staring at me "Oh my god…"

"Lizzie…" Marta began and I was nervously looking down.

"Bad?" I asked and Shima snapped her head up.

"What?"

"Does it look bad?" I asked.

"Lizzie, babe, you look smoking hot. Charles will jump you as soon as he sees you!" Shima said and got up.

"You look amazing! That dress looks like fire on you!" Marta followed Shima and I turned around to look into the floor to ceiling tall mirror.

"Isn’t it a little… too tight and too short?" I asked and Shima shook her head.

"Absolutely not!" she said and Marta next to her nodded.

I looked back into the mirror, smoothing the dress down. Turning to the side a little, trying to look at myself from all angles, the dress was short ending way above my knees, I would have to tuck it down the whole night, too feel fully covered. It was tight, hugging my body almost like a second skin.

"I really like the cut out at the cleavage and that it’s a one shoulder dress but still showing off your amazing boobs that you usually hide." Shima said and I laughed.

"Thanks, I guess?"

"No seriously, Lizzie. You look amazing! Charles will have a hard time tonight to keep his hands to himself." Marta smiled and Shima looked at my feet.

"What shoes are we wearing?" she asked and I turned around.

"Don’t freak out now!" I said sheepishly and Shimas eyes widened. I walked to my closet and grabbed the black satin bag.

"I’m not dreaming… Jimmy Choo’s?" she almost whispered and I nodded handing her the bag and she opened it, taking the shoes out carefully "Look at them… they’re gorgeous. If I could I would make love to them…" I chuckled and walked back to the closet, taking another pair of high heels out.

"But Lizzie? That’s the wrong size?" she looked up right as I slipped in my second shoe.

"Happy Birthday!" I said and Shima screeched loud, pulling me into a tight hug.

"My dress! My hair! Watch out!" I laughed.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she kissed my cheek and slipped the shoes immediately on "Oh god they feel so good!"

"They look fabulous!" Marta smiled and put her own high heels on "Are we ready to dance the night away?"

"Hell yeah!" Shima and I said simultaneously and we all laughed.

I took a long look in the mirror, smoothing the fabric of the dress down.

"You look amazing, girl! Stop fidgeting!" Shima rolled her eyes a little and I swallowed hard.

"She’s right, Lizzie. You look awesome!" Marta said softly and I sighed a little, nodding slowly. The dress was amazing. The shoes were amazing. And I didn’t look too bad wearing it. After seeing a Twitter thread 2 weeks ago, a very viral one, criticising again the way I dressed, saying it was too boring, not fashionable enough, not feminine enough, I thought a lot about it. I knew that I shouldn’t care about it, that I should ignore it. But for some reason I couldn’t get the comments out of my head. I never cared much for the newest fashion trends, I mostly wore outfits that I liked, if they weren’t modern or fancy or fashionable? I didn’t care. But the comments got worse and worse. And I decided to do something against it and bought some clothes that were way out of my comfort zone. Just like tonight’s dress.

"Hey? Lizzie? Everything alright?" Shima said, interrupting my train of thoughts, and I nodded.

"Yeah, sure. Let’s go!" I grabbed my bag and took one last look in the mirror before we left the room. I can do this. Shima and Marta said I looked great and if I decided to not believe them, then Charles reaction was everything reassurance that I needed.

"No. We’re staying in tonight." were his first words and I cocked an eyebrow "Cara mia, I might end up in jail tonight. For kicking every guys ass who dares to just take a little glimpse of you! I won’t spare you just because you’re my friend, Joris, I’ve seen your look!"

"Okay now stop!" I laughed and hit his shoulder playfully, but he pulled me into him, his mouth close to my ear. His lips ghosting over my earlobe.

"Cara mia, I’m dead serious. You look incredible tonight. The most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. And the hottest one for sure…" nothing more than a breath on my skin and I shuddered a little.

"Okay, save that for later. Now we go partying!" Shima pushed Charles and me to make us walk and we followed the rest of the group, Charles walking behind me "Stop staring at her ass, Leclerc!"

"I can’t. It’s captivating."

"Gross."

"Shut up, Birthday girl."

Marta and Riccardo were dancing in their own little bubble, Joris and Daniel were talking and Charles was standing next to them, watching me dance with Shima.

"He can’t take his eyes off of you!" Shima shouted in my ear and I smiled a little, the alcohol making me blush harder than usually.

"Oh come on!" I laughed but she just shook her head.

"You’re so annoying, babe! You look gorgeous! You’re smoking hot and your equally hot boyfriend is practically undressing you with his eyes right now! Can you please acknowledge that?" she rolled her eyes.

"I can acknowledge that he is smoking hot, because look around, basically every girl is staring at him!" I waved my hand around and Shima followed it.

"Yeah of course they all keep staring at him! But look at him? He only has eyes for you! You can see that, right?"

"I guess so…" I let out.

"Hey? It’s Charles? He loves you? Why are you doubting that all of a sudden?" she looked at me intently and I sighed.

"Because lately… I don’t know, Shima. He’s so… and I’m just…" I was at a loss of words and she cocked an eyebrow "I need to go to the toilet, I’ll be right back, okay?" I said and she nodded, hesitantly, but let me go.

I locked the door of the bathroom stall behind me and took a deep breath. The door opened and the music from the stage got louder before the door closed again and the music was only a faint background noise.

"That was 100% Charles Leclerc!" a girl said and I tensed up.

"He looked hot, as always! We should definitely try and talk with him, shoot our shot…" another girl laughed.

"He must feel miserable! There are his friends making out with each other, and then he’s there alone with no one!" a third voice.

"But isn’t the German driver here as well? His rumoured girlfriend?"

"Oh come on! All those little fan girlies who want them to be together? There’s a reason why they’re just friends for what? 10 years?"

"He looks like a Greek god and she just like any normal girl?"

"Totally! She’s nothing special. He needs someone with class, someone elegant, hot! And not that driver."

"Isn’t she also an alcoholic? Wasn’t there a video where she was totally hammered early in the day already?" I felt my mouth becoming dry.

"Yes! I remember! You also saw her disgusting scars. Ewww." A lump formed inside my throat.

"Yeah. I get it. He’s just a nice guy who hangs out with her out of pity… he deserves better! He deserves a girl by his side tonight!"

"He can be lucky and get one of us!"

They all started laughing, leaving the bathroom. I leaned against the door. Trying to breathe steadily. I felt tears stinging in my eyes and grabbed some toilet paper, dabbing my eyes. I saw the looks of every girl around us the whole night. Ogling Charles up and down. He looked ravishing. Like always. Of course I couldn’t compare to him. But hiding in a bathroom stall wouldn’t help me either, so I braced myself and took one last deep breath unlocking the door. I washed my hands and walked out. Right to the VIP area next to the stage, where we were partying the last hours. I grabbed a water from the bar and made my way up the few steps as I stopped abruptly. 3 girls dancing around Charles, Joris and Daniel. One whispering something in Charles ear. I turned around and walked back to the bar. Exchanging my water against a tequila shot and then another one, ordering a third one not daring to look into the VIP area. Someone bumped into me and I turned around, one of the girls who just danced with Joris and Daniel standing now behind me, looking from me to the bar, 3 empty shot glasses in front of me. She snickered and pinched her other friend, pointing at the glasses. They both looked at me and then walked off. I could hear the words alcoholic and slutty dress. I ordered a cocktail and sat down.

"Lizzie? Hey? You got lost on your way to the bathroom?" Shima squeezed my arm and I looked at her "Why are you sitting here? Drinking all alone?"

"Because there are much prettier girls here in the club, they want a chance with him… and they’re right… he deserves a pretty one… elegant, classy, gorgeous! Not me, bulky and muscular, not lady like…" I slurred, the alcohol clearly showing.

"What are you even talking about? Where is this all coming from all of a sudden?" Shima was confused but I just chuckled and turned her around to look at the VIP area.

"See? That girl talking with Charles? She’s gorgeous! Look at her, Shima! She is the kind of girl people expect by his side. Not someone like me!" I sighed, sipping at my cocktail.

"Okay, you had enough to drink, come on. I don’t know why you say things like that? Did someone say something to you?" she grabbed my hand, dragging me with her away from the crowd and the stage to the side, where it was way more quiet and we didn’t had to yell at each other. We sat down on a sofa.

"What’s happening, Lizzie? Something is bothering you. I’ve seen it for the past couple of days. But tonight especially? You’re not really doubting him?" Shima asked me quietly and I shook my head, getting dizzy and sitting down.

"I don’t doubt him! Not one second! You have no idea how amazing he is! I mean… you all can see how he treats me? But that’s not all… it’s those quiet moments, when it’s just him and I. Alone. Doesn’t matter if it’s just in bed or the sofa, doing some work-outs together. He’s perfect. Seriously. I don’t even know how he’s putting up with me? I’m not like him! He lays his heart and soul out before me. He’s so attentive and affectionate. Outspoken! God he knows how to use words that melt you like hot butter. He’s so sure of us. And then there’s me? I’m insecure and in my head. I never know how to be affectionate like him, without being to clingy? How to be attentive without being annoying? I’m just scared that I’ll do too much of everything… and I’m not good with words or with explaining my emotions. I’m just not like him. I wish I could! I swear! Since we’re together I wish I could be more like him. Show him how much I love him? That he means the world to me… but I just don’t know how… and then there’s… umm-" I let it all out, the alcohol making me lose any filter, although I stopped abruptly, not knowing how to explain what was bothering me really.

"That disgusting Twitter feed you keep reading over and over?" Shima asked and I looked at her with big eyes "I’ve seen it on your iPad… Lizzie you do know that these are just some insecure, jealous bitches? They know that they never will have a chance with Charles and so they lash out? And because you and Charles are this close you’re their target!" she took my hand in hers and squeezed it.

"But they’re not wrong about everything! You can say about Camille what you want, but they looked amazing together! She looked like a model! Straight out of a magazine and me? I don’t even want to start…"

"Honestly? Don’t you have mirrors? I don’t know how you can look like this and honestly think you’re what? Not pretty enough for Charles? You know that I’m always honest with you? So please believe me when I say that you’re beautiful! Everyone would be happy to be seen with you! Just like Charles! Lizzie he doesn’t want anyone else! He wants you! Just you! And you are beautiful and gorgeous! I mean we could do something with your hair… I always said that I think long and wavy hair with maybe some warm highlights would look awesome! And we could get rid of these team shirts for race weekends and put you into something cute and fancy! But that’s just little things…" Shima looked at me and I laughed a little.

"Yeah not gonna happen! It’s hard enough to get this amount of hair tucked into my suit and under my helmet without restraining me! And nope! Team merch it is! Maybe we could go more casual with how we combine it here and there but that’s it!"

"Okay! But can you do me a favour? Can you please accept that you’re smoking hot and beautiful and amazing and perfect and that Charles loves you! Just you!"

"We don’t want to exaggerate! The way I am is perfectly fine!" I laughed and she groaned.

"You’re frustrating! So frustrating! I need a drink now! Hop hop! Let’s go!" Shima jumped up and pulled me with her.

"Not so fast please. I think I need a water… I had too much to drink." I mumbled and she laughed.

"3 shots and a cocktail in what? 15 minutes? Yeah I would feel like shit as well…" Shima held my hand and we walked to the bar, where I got a water and almost emptied the bottle in one go. I looked back into the VIP area, where a new girl was at Charles’ site, another beautiful, sweet girl. Shima followed my look and sighed.

"Come on. Let’s go up there and dance." she said and I nodded, grabbing another water bottle.

As soon as we walked up the stairs Charles was next to me, gently pulling me to the side, leaning down to say something.

"Hey pretty girl, where were you? I thought one of your many admirers whisked you away from me!" he chuckled a little, his breath tickling my ear.

"My many admirers? Have you looked around? Every single girl in here keeps staring at you!" I answered and although I tried to sound amused, I failed and my voice cracked a little.

"Really? I didn’t notice that, because the only thing I saw was you… in that dress… and my imagination of that same dress on the floor of our room later tonight…" he whispered and my cheeks began to burn with heat.

"Oh come on…" I giggled and Charles eyes grew dark.

"Mhhh I can’t wait to get rid of that dress…" he gently stroked my sides with his hand, smoothing down the fabric of my dress "I will rip is straight off of your body…"

"The hell you do! Do you know how expensive that dress was! We’ll take it off nice and carefully!"

"I’ll buy you a new one. Or ten new ones, I don’t care! But you… you look just so incredibly gorgeous and so freaking sexy in it… my second favourite outfit on you!"

"And what’s your favourite?"

He leaned in even closer, his lips brushing now my ear.

"Wouldn’t you like to know…" he chuckled.

I was about to say something when the brunette, who talked with Charles when Shima and I came back, lightly tapped his arm. He turned around and he smiled at her, a big, genuine and hearty smile. And my stomach dropped.

"I just wanted to say goodbye! It was good to see you!" the girl said and Charles nodded.

"Yeah it was good to see you too, Charlotte." he said and Charlotte looked at me.

"I always said to Marta that you two would make a beautiful couple." she smiled at me and I looked at her with big eyes.

"Lizzie, this is Charlotte. We went to school together. She and Marta are close friends." Charles introduced us and I smiled shyly at her "Don’t worry, she won’t tell anyone…"

"I mean if they pay me a million… who knows…" she laughed and I had to laugh with her.

"I don’t think that we’re this important, but honestly, if anyone offers you that much? You have my blessings."

"I will keep that in mind! Have a good night you two! And a good rest of your summer break!" she pulled me in a hug and looked at me apologetic "I’m sorry! I’m a hugger!" she laughed and I smiled.

I just smiled as she hugged Charles and then left with a last wave. I watched her walk away and Charles squeezed my waist.

"I think we got interrupted…" he smiled at me, pulling me even closer to him.

"Yeah you wanted to tell me what your favourite outfit one me is!"

"Was I now?" Charles breathed it in my ear and I began to shiver. He planted a little kiss right underneath my jawline and pulled back, smiling at me. I let out a long, shaking breath and he leaned back in, his lips now touching my ear and I felt goosebumps erupt all over my body, my heart almost jumping out of my breast.

"That red lace lingerie set…"

Charles POV:

"Morning." Joris mumbled and plopped down in the chair next to me when I watched Lizzie and Daniel talking while loading up their plates "Earth to Charles? You there?"

"What?" I looked at him and he sighed.

"Can we today just hang out and do nothing? I’m done…" he mumbled and I just nodded.

"Yeah yeah, sure." I said as Lizzie’s phone vibrated next to mine. I glanced down and scoffed. A message from Paul. They were texting? I felt the urge to grab the phone and read the message. I hated this guy.

"Okay, you’re not listening to me…" Joris huffed and got up, right as Daniel and Lizzie sat down.

"Who’s not listening?" Daniel asked and Joris waved to me "Why aren’t you listening?"

"Doesn’t matter." I got up and followed Joris, grabbing myself some food, although I lost my appetite. I saw how Lizzie tapped away on her phone, laughing and shaking her head. Oh? What did Paul say that’s so funny?

"Mate! What is wrong with you?" Joris slapped my arm and I looked at him, then the mess I made with the orange juice in front of me "You and Lizzie? All good? Don’t look at me like that! Spill the beans!"

"This mechanic? The guy I told you about? He comments on every post, always flirting, Lizzie doesn’t see it… I mean she sees the comments but she doesn’t think that he’s flirting! Last night? He commented that she’s a hot mess! And one of her mechanics replied that he’s shooting his shot! And then…"

"You didn’t reply? Right? You didn’t say something stupid, staking your claim on her? Right?" Joris groaned.

"What? No? First off, staking my claim on her? In what century do you live? And second… I just said that I know her for a while and that he needs to find another target. And that little fucker replied with we‘ll see! He’s so fucking flirting with her!"

I felt my blood boiling when Lizzie threw her head back laughing after reading a new text. Fucking Paul. I walked back and sat down, Lizzie squeezing my thigh, smiling up at me.

"Can we just lay at the pool and do nothing? I’m done… last night was a lot." she said and I nodded.

"Sure." I said through gritted teeth when her phone was vibrating again "You’re in great demand today."

"What do you mean?" she asked, looking confused.

"Your phone…"

"Oh yeah. Sorry." she smiled, gently stroking my thigh and I melted away under her touch, right as another text came through, I saw the screen lit up, Paul.

"I’m going to lay down for a little. My head is pounding." I got up and Lizzie looked at me with wide eyes.

"Are you okay? Do you want me to come with you?" she asked, concern in her voice.

"Nope. You have fun texting with Paul." I said coldly and walked away. Ughhh. Jealousy has a really bitter taste. Back in our room I sat down on the bed, feeling bad. I didn’t even know why I was jealous. Lizzie was here with me. In 2 days we would go to Sardinia, just us. A romantic getaway. She was my girlfriend. I already won. And still. The way he looked at her. Always made sure to be close to her. Now even texted her. I groaned in frustrating, falling back down onto the bed. He did this. Not Lizzie. Yet it was her who I let out my frustration on. Again. I rubbed my temples when I heard the door opening. Let her be mad. You deserve it.

"Did you read my messages?" was the first thing she asked and I sat up.

"No."

"Are you sure? Why did you think I was texting with Paul, then?"

"I saw his name on the screen."

"Why did you look at my screen."

"Your phone was right next to mine, it vibrated, I looked down to see whose phone it was. It was yours. With a text from Paul."

"Well it wasn’t…"

"Lizzie. I saw it. He texted you."

"No, he didn’t."

"Why are you lying? I saw his name!" I groaned.

"Did you look closely?"

"What?"

"Did you look closely? Did you actually took my phone and checked the notification or did you just saw the name Paul and that was it."

"The second option but why does that matter?"

"It matters because I, in fact, don’t text with Paul. He sent some stuff into our Audi WhatsApp group."

"Audi WhatsApp group?"

"Audi WhatsApp group. Team group. We send memes and gifs and stuff. Not more. Just some fun stuff. For everyone to read."

"Oh."

"Oh indeed."

"I’m sorry. I just…"

"Save it. I’m here with you! I bought a ton of new outfits for you! I’m sharing a bed with you! I had to watch the last two nights in the club how practically every girl there was trying to flirt with you. YOU! And not once was I jealous! Or mad!"

"I know! Okay! Please Lizzie, I’m sorry! But this guy… I know you don’t want to see it. But he is flirting with you! Like crazy! Yes I know there were some girls, but I not once looked at them! I only had eyes for you! And it’s not like these girls work with me and constantly lure around me! Unlike Paul! That’s the only reason why I’m so fucking jealous. No it’s not even jealousy! It’s more… he’s infuriating me! And you won’t acknowledge what everyone else is seeing!"

"Because it doesn’t matter if he flirts with me or not! I don’t fucking care!"

"I know that! God! I’m not stupid! But it still agitates me! It makes my blood boil. He wants to shoot his shot with you! And you can’t even say that you have a boyfriend because no one can know about us!"

"Is that the real problem here? Are you mad that I want to… I want to keep us a secret? Is that what this is all about?"

"Fucking hell. No! I don’t care about that! I just don’t like that this guy is flirting with you. Period." I breathed out frustrated.

"Okay." Lizzie looked at me.

"Okay?" I asked cautiously.

"Okay." she walked away.

"And now?"

"Now I’m putting on a bathing suit and meet our friends downstairs. You can decide for yourself if you want to stay here and sulk or come with me and hang out with us."

"Are you still mad at me?"

"No. I wasn’t mad at all. I was annoyed because it felt like I was talking with a wall."

"I’m sorry, cara mia." I mumbled and got up, hugging her "I really have no problem with us keeping our relationship a secret! I really just don’t like this guy…"

"I know…" she sighed and kissed my cheek "But why would I care for him if I have you? My Monegasque Prince Charming, who’s an idiot and oh so stupid every now and then?"

"I let that last part slide, but just because you said that I’m your Prince Charming…"

"To our last night in Ibiza!" Joris said and we toasted our glasses.

"To our last night!"

"I have to say that I’m a little glad that we’re leaving tomorrow, even tho I don’t know where to. But partying this much? Exhausting!" I whispered into Charles ear and he nodded.

"I’m just happy to spent some alone time with you!" he whispered back and I smiled.

"Do you have any ideas where you’re going?" Shima asked me and I sighed.

"Nope. Nothing. I only know that we’re flying tomorrow morning at 10. And because we’re taking the jet, I couldn’t even check what flights are leaving…"

"You looked that up?" Charles asked and I nodded "Just relax and enjoy your surprise!"

"Okay, okay!" I said and looked around "You all know where we’re going, right?"

"No clue!"

"No!"

"Nope!"

"No idea."

"Hell yeah!"

We all looked at Joris who looked up from his plate.

"I mean no. Of course not." he said hastily and Shima patted his hand.

"Good cover up!" she laughed.

"It’s okay you guys. Keep your secrets to yourself." I rolled my eyes dramatically.

"Well there is one secret we want to share!" Riccardo said and I looked up. He gently took Martas hand in his and they both smiled at us "We’re having a baby!"

We all jumped up and congratulated and hugged them.

"OH MY GOD!" Joris shouted out pulling Riccardo to his side.

"How amazing!" Shima hugged Marta.

"I can’t believe it!" Charles pulled both of them in his arms with tears in his eyes.

"I’m so happy for you guys!" I said and hugged first Marta and then Riccardo "Now we know what that stomach bug was!"

"Yeah… it began right before we left Monaco. And according to some books I’ve read it might get worse… but it all will be worth it!" Marta smiled, absently rubbing her stomach.

"It will be more than worth it!" I smiled at her "We need to drink on it! Champagne! We need champagne! Oh god no! Wait! You can’t drink!"

"It’s fine. You drink champagne and I have a soda water." Marta said while Charles already ordered 2 bottles of champagne. As soon as the bottles arrived and we all had a full glass in our hand we toasted to Marta and Riccardo.

"To Marta and Riccardo and the little bean, we all can’t wait to meet!" Charles said and looked lovingly at his two friends. When he sat down he put his hand on my thigh gently caressing it "Can you believe it? A baby? A tiny Riccardo or Marta… wow. It’s just… wow!"

"Oh Charlie bear." I whispered and wiped a stray tear off of his "You’re adorable." I kissed his cheek.

"I’m just really happy for them. But also… I mean Andrea and Simon, Julia and Kev and now Marta and Riccardo? Am I getting crazy or are we all growing up slowly?"

"Pretty boy, you turn 25 in October? You do realise that we all are already grown ups?" I chuckled.

"I guess so." he sighed and downed his champagne.

"With Marta and Riccardo now expecting… I’d say you two are next?" Joris said and Charles and I both looked at him with wide eyes.

"What?" we said in unison and they all laughed.

"I was just kidding! But the look on your faces? Priceless!" Joris laughed and Charles shook his hand, putting his hand on my thigh, gently squeezing it.

"Let us both win a championship first, then we can talk again…" he said and I nodded.

"I hold you to that!" Joris said and we laughed.

"I’m sure you do."

Part 2 ➡️

Little Note:

Chapter 23.1 - SUMMER BREAK 🩵🌴☀️ very fluffy, my favourite duo Liam and Charles has some cute moments. Part 2 will be Lizzie and Charles on their romantic getaway ♥️

Please leave a comment/ like/ reblog/ message and tell me how you liked it! I'm dying to hear your thoughts!

If you want to be added to the taglist, drop a comment!

Last but not least, English is not my first language and although I tried my best: please excuse any mistakes I made!

Taglist:

@silkenthusiasts @eugene-emt-roe @sunny44 @itsjustkhaos @glitterquadricorn @aundercover @kakorrhaphiphobia @alittlebitofbooksandmagic @ru-kru @glitterf1 @janeholt3 @maeve-wileyy @18754389 @chiliwhore @hellowgoodbye @queensassybitchsworld @skynel09 @harrysdimple05

All the images I’m using are from Google, Pinterest and Instagram (or self made).

43 notes · View notes

whinlatter · 1 year ago

Note

Wild card trick or treat: go nuts, friend.

Send an ask with “Trick or treat!” to the writer who reblogged this & you could receive a 3-sentence fic, drabble, headcanon, sneak-peek at a WIP, the last sentence they wrote, a new fic idea, random line from a fic, picture of their notebook, a deleted line they love, an idea for a sequel, something they’re researching, behind-the-scenes info on a published fic, or something else!

an excuse to post hinny deleted scenes??? 👀👀👀

i bit off more than i can chew with this delightful trick or treat challenge but i do have literally mountains of dumb harry/ginny letters that didn't make the cut in beasts so here's some deleted scenes/the two of them doing what they do best (flirting by post, shooting the shit). do i love these lines? not particularly, but i love these two and i couldn't find anywhere for this extremely dumb exchange to go in the fic so sharing it here in honour of halloween will have to do! thank you sm @turanga4!

Gin,

How’s your week? It’s shit here. Work’s shit, weather’s shit, house is shit. Today I also stood in literal dog shit and I couldn’t even scourgify my shoe because I was in a street full of Muggles so I had to wait until I was in the employee entrance at work to try clean it out. And then when I walked in someone said ‘what’s that smell’, and then someone else started retching and someone else started pointing and going ‘shit is that Harry Potter’. So then I had to try to pretend like it wasn’t me that had shit on my shoe until the room had cleared and I could finally sort it out. And now I’m worried the Prophet is going to run a story about how Harry Potter smells like shit, or start calling me The Boy Who Lived in His Own Filth, or bring those Potter Stinks badges out of retirement and send them into mass production, or something.

Yours (drowning in shit) -

Harry

—

The Boy Who Lived in His Own Filth (catchy),

I’m sorry your week has been so full of shit (literal and figurative). It does seem cosmically cruel that you can save the Wizarding World and still find yourself standing in dog shit. You’d think the universe would give you a pass, or something. Really, no treading in dog shit for the rest of your life seems the least the universe could do for you, given how much trouble you’ve gone to. I’m outraged on your behalf and willing to write to whatever necessary higher power to make this right.

It’s pretty shit here too. I miss you (yawn, lame, boring). When you inevitably go into hiding from the brutal Prophet expose of your personal hygiene habits you are very welcome to hang out with me up here/hide out in Hagrid’s cabin and help me try to explain to him the proper consistency of custard.

Yours in shitty solidarity,

Hagrid’s long suffering sous chef

—

Dear Hagrid’s long suffering sous chef/custard de-lumper in chief,

Thanks for the sympathy. I miss you too, a lot (yawn, lame, boring). Ron’s just asked if I’m writing to you ‘again’ like he doesn’t write to Hermione each time there’s a Y in the day. He just asked what we even talk about. So if he asks I told him we’re working on a big list of his flaws and most embarrassing moments to read out at his thirtieth and/or him and Hermione’s wedding, whichever comes first. Now he’s saying we’re ‘very childish’ and keeps trying to get a look at the parchment to check if I was lying or not. Oh wait no now he’s going up to his room to write Hermione about his very busy exciting day spent reading evidence logs and complaining about the canteen’s stingy pie portions. What a lucky girl.

Keep fighting the good custard fight.

Yours,

Harry

PS. Thanks for the offer but have to say no to hiding out in Hagrid’s hut. Fang’s poos are huge. I can’t risk it. Can I not crash in your dormitory? The steps up to the girls’ rooms don’t still turn into slides, do they?

—

Outrageous and scandalous attempt to wangle your way into my bed, Potter. Of course the steps still turn into slides. What, you thought because there was a war on and the castle got pounded to smithereens the relics of archaic magical paternalism designed to defend young witches’ virtues would somehow cease to function? How naive. Anyway, I for one am grateful for the slides, if they stop you bringing your stinky shit covered shoes into our dormitory.

Tell Ron I'm writing you absolute filth. Like debauched sexual propositions, truly eye-watering stuff. That said, if you think for a second I’m not going to back my dear brother in his campaign for generous pie portions then you’re out of your mind. Despite the sneering of critics (you), we Weasleys believe in the importance of hearty pie helpings, almost as much as we believe in the importance of perfect custard viscosity.

Yours,

Ginny

PS. You're literally not going to believe this - wrote this letter at Hagrid’s, was heading out and sealing it up to send and I literally stepped in one of Fang's enormous shits. What are the chances???

#hinny #this is extremely dumb content #but they're dumb jocks at heart so it works #literally just harry and ginny flinging poo jokes at each other across the scottish border #hinny fanfiction #ginny weasley #harry x ginny #beasts #trick or treat challenge

52 notes · View notes

toreii · 1 year ago

Text

Rollo Flamme Personal Story 3

“…So easygoing.”

Part 2

City of Flowers

*enters shop*

Rollo: “Hello.”

Rollo: “…Yes, that’s right. The usual set of letter stationary and envelopes. Yeah, one pure white one.”

Rollo: “…Hehehe, I think so too. Letters are good even if they’re considered anachronistic.”

Rollo: “It's not as convenient as email or phone calls, but it saves you time and avoids using careless words.”

Rollo: “What? There are other sets similar to this one from other manufacturers? …No, the usual is fine.”

Rollo: “Changing the format of the letter mid-way through the process can be confusing. Because things have to be consistent.”

Rollo: “…Yes, certainly. As always, thank you very much. See you.”

*exists shop*

Rollo: “…A good shopkeeper. As expected of the residents of the town who love the righteous judge.”

Rollo: “As a student of Noble Bell College, I must follow by example.”

Rollo: “…This city is easy to spend time in. The people are nice, and the scenery is beautiful.”

Rollo: “However, even these beautiful flowers are preserved by magical power…”

Rollo: “Flowers…………magic power……”

Rollo: “Heh……hehe……..hehehehe…”

Goat: “Baa, baa”

Rollo: “Hm. The goat. Why are you snuggling so close?”

Rollo: “I wonder if it’s hungry. Unfortunately, I don’t have anything you can eat right now.”

Rollo: “If you want to eat, go to someone else…”

Goat: “Baa~”

Rollo: “What? …Could it be that you want my stationary!?”

Rollo: “What do I do…no. This is my favorite item.”

Rollo: “Besides, eating paper can cause an upset stomach. Listen to what I’m saying. Give up…hey, stop it!”

Goat: “Baa~~”

Rollo: “You wretched goat. If you won’t let go, I have some ideas as well…!”

Rollo: “Hah. There are people watching…”

Rollo: “…If it wasn’t a creature that is valued in the town, I’d kick it.”

Rollo: “Your life has been spared.”

Goat: “Baa!”

Rollo: “Don’t bite my robe! The City of Flowers is certainly beautiful, but this unsanitary behavior is unacceptable…”

Noble Bell College - Student Board Room

Rollo: “‘As mentioned above, things have been going well without any change. Please, take care of yourself, too’…”

Rollo: “…Is this too formal?”

Rollo: “Fair enough. It's enough for me to be able to tell my parents that I can live here without any problems.”

Rollo: “They’re worried…”

Rollo: “Ever since………then…”

Rollo: “……”

Rollo: “The fire…”

Rollo: “……”

Rollo: “…That’s right. I should add a little more to the letter about recent events.”

Rollo: “I won’t be able to sleep well tonight anyways. Let’s elaborate on it thoroughly.”

Rollo: “I have plenty of time…”

END

#twisted wonderland #disney twst #twst spoilers #glorious masquerade #personal story #rollo flamme #twst rollo #translations not 100% accurate #i wanted to finish this sooner but i got sick this weekend #im still dealing with symptoms but feel a lot better than before #i suppose this mini story was cute #a day in the life of rollo flamme

39 notes · View notes

prythianpages · 4 months ago

Note

Hey, love 🥰

Sooo… with an aching heart I am waiting for the next part on your eris series. So I read one of your Lucien-fics. The one about the nightingale. I loved it. And I already wanted to be outraged that it ended like this. But then I saw that there is a part two so it was okay. ;)

At the end of the part two you had an author note about how you wanted to write a part set in between the two parts.

I’d love to hear about how Lucien frees her!

And I like to reassure you to write that amazing piece, because as far all of the fics I read from you were so fucking amazing!

To maybe/hopefully inspire you: while reading the first part I already thought about how he would/could free her.

I thought about him officially requesting it to Rhys. Like officially asking him to “help” to free his mate. (You mentioned the autumn duel, I don’t know anymore what exactly it consists of but maybe it also fits? I really don’t know.)

And you could also combine it with seeing her again UTM.

Like Amarantha invited everyone for a ball or something, right?

So maybe there they could feel the others presence and dance together. And maybe Rhys notices about it?

But then they will be separated again due to the curse and all. Maybe you could also add tension between Lucien and Tamlin, because he has constant fear for her? (He could already know about the bond?)

So when they come back UTM he seeks for her again but without drawing much attention on it to keep her safe.

When the curse is broken and all either Lucien immediately seeks for Rhys to make the request or he “waits”. Maybe due to Tampons order. (I really hate this wanker, sorry. 😂) so the reader could get angry at Tamlin again. And it would fit to Luciens submission to Tamlin (I hope Submission is the right translation 😂 anyways, you know what I mean…)

So we have that.

Uiii I got another idea.

Maybe Rhys is looking for her/seeking her, to have another trump card against the spring court and especially Lucien?

But I don’t know about the ending so far…

But maybe it helps you.

I’d love if you let me know if it was helpful. 🥰

Sending love and hugs to you ☺️

Sincerely,

a writing friend

p.s. I hope you can follow my storm of thoughts. This is how my notes for my writings look like 😂 a friend once called it like “I spoke it onto the paper” and I think it fits quite well.

Though I hope you can follow this chaos 😂🫶

Hi, friend 🥰 sending love & hugs right back at ya!

First off, thank you so much for all the love ❤️ and for sending this!!

I am such an indecisive person, which is why I can’t get it together for this fic. I wanted Lucien to find a loophole in reader’s bargain with that evil club owner. Like maybe something as long as he’s alive, he has control over her but Lucien can’t kill him bc this guy is such a big deal/influence in Hewn City

The way I see it is that Lucien really wants to help reader and save her the way he couldn’t save Jessminda 🥹 So I really like the idea of Lucien seeking out help for Rhys and there being tension bc their courts don’t like one another. But then Amarantha pulls her stunt and it complicates everything and reader ends up trapped UTM.

Rhys kinda picks up on something between them, like something “more” and can use it to get a reaction out of Lucien when he does those visits. Maybe even Eris can too and lowkey try to help reader but it only makes lucien worry even more over you bc he doesn’t know Eris means well 🤔

I was debating on when the bond should actually snap and I do like the idea of it snapping for Lucien during UTM. Or right before everyone gets cursed, which would bring on that tension between him and Tamlin. I like the way you think!

I will definitely be adding these ideas to the draft! & hopefully I can do this fic well & write it out. Thank you so much again for helping me with it! This helped ❤️

P.s it’s okay! My notes for my drafts/WIP are all over the place and essentially bullet points with random dialogue 😂

#moots 💕#asks #super trouper Lucien

4 notes · View notes

bonesandthebees · 10 months ago

Note

*clears throat*

Anyway…

Things I liked about this chapter in no particular order:

The flashback with Niki and Quackity

Quakcity warning Wilbur about the bandits indirectly, doubles as foreshadowing and a hint that he’s behind it (though let’s be honest, it was probably Schlatt’s idea)

Oh and you should have seen my face when I realised [“Hand him over!”] I swear puzzle pieces have never snapped into place faster in my brain. I literally went “OH FUCK QAUACKITY WHAT DID YOU DO?”

Niki might think that Wilbur is lying again but I don’t have the mental energy to think about that right now for obvious reasons.

I cannot stress enough how much I’m here for this.

The l’manburg backstory. I was trying to put it together and analyse which character’s would be narrative parallels only the realise that it was literal based off of actually canon pogtopia and c!Wilbur and c!Tommy. I love it. Also made me think of Niki when she does not get the throne.

Wilbur saving Tommy’s life (twice? Attempted at least). Nothing says bonding like life or death situations.

Also at first I thought it might be something meant to be part of it or a plan by Phil and then the foreshadowing hit me like a truck.

Put Quackity and Schlatt on the most likely to be executed list right now. Not because I think Wilbur is smart enough to figure it out but because the person who was trailing him might.

Also, I love the consistent pov and the way you write it, but I would pay actual money to know how everyone reacts. I want my sand duo angst of Phil sending his son away against his will only to learn that might have killed him. I want to watch them turn the country upside down. I want to see Quackity in shambles because he might have killed his friends and the man he loves (? Is it mutual?) I want to see Niki’ reaction. But alas, we get Tommy and Wilbur in a SITUATION. Instead.

I do fully believe people will come looking for them, but now I’m worried we will get a chapter of snowstorm in the wilderness first.

Again I better get a sand duo hug after this is done. I need Wilbur to know that his dad loves him.

Also, at first I was like, “I wonder why Jack isn’t here?” Then the guards started getting sliced and I was like “oh that!s why.” Nobody gets plot armour in here. Jack’s cranckyness just saved his life.

Also, Tomys copying the way Wilbur eats his food tells us he looks up to him and trust his judgement. Maybe he did something right with his paranoia expenation.

Also, the consequences for this are going to be so good whether Wilbur figures out it was Quackity or not.

Anyway, I’m going to bed now. So good night! And a good day to you!!! What a great chapter I did not see that coming at all but I love it.

P.s. AO3 is being mean and Wouldn’t let me comment “BEE, WHAT THE FUCK!” but that genuinely was my first reaction.

-🌲

lol thank you, a lot of the flashback bit regarding wilbur and niki changed from what it was originally planned to be. I don't know how it happened but I got really into the flow of the scene and I'm very happy with how it turned out

HA the puzzle pieces falling into place about the bandits right at that moment. just "what's going on- OH"

I'm very glad you picked up on the l'manberg story not only being c!crime but also the parallels it could hold to rose!niki

life or death situations are the best for bonding!

don't be so sure we're only staying in wilbur's POV this time around spruce :)

LMAO yeah literally while I was writing about them leaving the palace in the morning I was like "shit wait I can't have jack here but I need to come up with an explanation for why he's not here" and jack's morning crankiness came about. he would've been killed so quickly by those bandits and I don't want this story to lose The Manifold so soon

wilbur and tommy eating their lunch is like that meme of miles morales and peter b parker in the first spiderverse movie you know the one

#ask #spruce anon #rose ch 6

12 notes · View notes

professor-rye · 8 months ago

Note

10, 20, 30, 40 for the weird writer asks!

Thank you for sending me some questions! Apologies in advance for how much I ended up rambling 😅

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

Oh gosh. Definitely Dapple. I was worried that I wouldn’t finish the very beginning idea I had (which ended up just being act 1), so I’m sure you can imagine my surprise when not only did I finish that, but then it kept going… and going… *and going.* I’ve always been good at coming up with ideas for long fics, but never before (or since) have I ever been able to actually *stick* with writing them, let alone so consistently. For some reason, for Dapple, my ADHD brain said “This is your life now and you are addicted”. It literally was what kept me on this earth for a while there. It unironically saved my life. And then it just… disappeared.

My brain no longer wanted to think about it, and it was only habit keeping me going for a while there. I pushed past that point way too far and got burnt out, and I’m still waiting, desperately hoping, that the floodgates will open again. And not just because I want to finish it, mind you. Like I said, writing and posting dapple did so much good for me. It was a safe harbor in a storm. It helped me process some of the worst traumas in my life. It got me *so many friends*. I can not express enough how much I miss it. …. Gods, okay, that got way deeper than I intended. Apologies! Gods… well uh, on to the next question!

20. If a witch offered you the choice between eternal happiness with your one true love and the ability to finally finish, perfect, and publish your dearest, darlingest, most precious WIP in exactly the way you've always imagined it — which would you choose? You can’t have both sorry, life’s a bitch

Well, after the last question, I think the answer is probably obvious lol. No question at all, I would pick to perfectly finish Dapple (Gods, and if that also let me get the sequel idea I had as well?? And also all the side fics??? Shit I would sell my soul for that). (It also doesn’t help that I am ace and have trouble contemplating the idea of magically gifted eternal happiness, so like… it was just very stacked in Dapple’s favor already)

30. Talk to me about the role dreams play in your writing life. Have you ever used material from your dreams in your writing? Have you ever written in a dream? Did you remember it when you woke up?

So, its kind of complicated? I am very much so that writer who just daydreams about fic ideas as I lay down to sleep every night, so there is a very hazy period during the in between where sometimes I’ll get ideas that I can actually remember the next morning.

But I don’t think they’re actual dreams, because my normal dreams tend to be a) incredibly stressful and b) about the most boring stuff imaginable, which is quite the combo.

But I will say that the pre-sleep daydreaming feels so different from any other actual plotting that I do. It’s very… gods, how do you describe this…

There’s a thing I learned in art school where you step away from your composition and squint till you can only see the hazy outlines of the different elements of the work. Or like when they tell you to turn the painting upside down for a bit to see what isn’t working. The pre-sleep daydreaming always involves reimagining the scenes I had already thought about during more lucid moments, but looking at the broader strokes and the pure emotion of it (because sleepy).

So most of the “ideas” I got from those moments were realizations that certain elements didn’t quite work the way I wanted them to, and then once I was actually lucid, I could think back on it and then (sometimes) realize a better way to handle that particular part.

So… yeah? It’s hard to say if that counts as dreams specifically, but it’s also a really big part of my writing… existence? Process feels weird to say there lol. But yeah, it felt relevant to share.

Gods, I’m rambling again. Last question!

40. Please share a poem with me, I need it.

(not me taking several days to find this poem because my memory is terrible and I kept mixing up the line I was searching)

If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy, don’t hesitate. Give in to it. There are plenty of lives and whole towns destroyed or about to be. We are not wise, and not very often kind. And much can never be redeemed. Still, life has some possibility left. Perhaps this is its way of fighting back, that sometimes something happens better than all the riches or power in the world. It could be anything, but very likely you notice it in the instant when love begins. Anyway, that’s often the case. Anyway, whatever it is, don’t be afraid of its plenty. Joy is not made to be a crumb. ~ Mary Oliver

So yeah, if anyone else wants to send questions, here is the original question list post thingy. I will try not to ramble quite so much next time 😅

#my writing #writer ask game #dappled shadow and penumbral light #fan fiction writing

3 notes · View notes

heliopauseentertainments · 8 months ago

Note

For the fic writes' ask meme, as/when you've time...

11. what’s something neat you’ve learned while doing research for something you were writing? also, how much do you worry about doing research in general?

31. tell us about one of your characters who’s an absolute joy to write

40. best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten.

Thank you for asking! 11. What’s something neat you’ve learned while doing research for something you were writing?

When writing Reforged, I ended learning a fair amount about which metal alloys can produce sparks when struck and which don't. It was a nitpicky thing to search for, but I needed to make a particular task impossible with the provided materials. I think that was the most incredibly narrow thing I had to look up.

Also, how much do you worry about doing research in general?

Depends on the topic and what effect I want to have.

For a few examples:

Since I am both a long-time car owner who tries to do some maintenance at home and have a working knowledge of computer components (I built my previous gaming rig in grad school and have being poking at computers ever since the mid-90s), I do have a fair baseline for jumping off into more narrowly-focused research for specific things that I want to explore, like the effects of heat on certain items, what types of metal alloys react in what ways to different stresses--and then sometimes I don't worry about it at all.

However, because I was previously a professional linguist, I also pay close attention to etymology and morphology (and phonology/phonetics by extension but shush) when constructing new words for use in fic. It's very rare where I go off of the word's "mouthfeel" alone. I save that for conlanging.

When incorporating Judaism into my fics, even though I'm Jewish, I do some cursory reading into minhagim (tradition groups?) that are not my own to see what other groups of Jews do differently than my own. Solar Flare is the most heavily influenced in this way, but Reforged (and it's holiday-based follow up) also have hints throughout if you know what you're looking for.

I don't worry about doing research so much as I do research when I go "I don't know enough for this."

31. Tell us about one of your characters who’s an absolute joy to write

Most characters I use frequently for POVs are ones that I find a joy to write, but that's not a useful answer. I would say IDW1!Megatron, but I've written him so much that I almost don't notice him these days.

Ratchet.

Ratchet, no matter the continuity (his grumpy/blunt medic characterization is generally very consistent across continuities, unlike some characters who vary widely), is a delight to write.

An absolute delight.

40. Best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten

This is advice from my spouse (@tangentially-displaced) from my RGG/Yakuza writing days. I carry it with me with everything I write.

"This is too many 'chair.'"

I had written a paragraph which contained several instances of the word "chair" leading to semantic satiation. This phrase has become a useful shorthand for editing when they're doing beta reading for me: there is too much of a thing, whether it's a word or an idea, in too small a space and it's detracting from clarity or the intended message/image.

#admin post #ask #ask meme #jariktig #long post

3 notes · View notes

soundcrusher · 1 year ago

Text

This Changes Everything

Part 6 of my little story featuring @cuppajj's IDW version of Lord Imperious and my boy Quick Search is out. And this time, it might just do like the titel says.

Either way, a big 'Thanks' for helping me out with some things goes out to cuppa again. (Should something be off, let me know. I'll change as soon as I can.)

With that being said, enjoy!

Trigger warning: non-consensual changes to ones person

._.:-:_._.:-:_._.:-:_._.:-:_._.:-:_._.:-:_._.:-:_._.:-:_._.:-:_._.:-:_.

It worked! After weeks of having Imperious poke around in his processor and programming, it finally worked! Quick Search could talk and think negatively about his captain, without having to worry about headaches or anything else! He was free, and it felt even better than he could have ever imagined!

“Heh, my captain is an idiot!” Yelled the small terminal loudly, while racing down the ship’s halls. Carrying a stack of datapads he had filled with research not even his captain has ever seen. It was his own big project consisting of many little projects, and one Quick Search has been working on ever since Imperious granted him the gift of freedom. Granted, it was still the same work, but different enough. Somehow, Imperious managed to take away the fail-safe keeping him from writing down some of the information saved in his database and the one that stopped him from sharing it too. And with those gone, Quick Search started to write. Unknowingly creating written evidence that those planets and cultures he wrote about truly existed and weren’t just myth.

That’s why he was running around with the datapads. One of his smaller projects was finally finished and, considering how interested Imperious always seemed to be in some of the research stored in his database, Quick Search thought that it would be a suited ‘Thank You’ gift. At least he thought it was suited. After all, Imperious could already know about the planet and its small culture, but hey! More information is always good, and Quick Search doesn’t really have another gift.

He was considering giving Imperious one of his few surviving Cybertronian Nightshade offshoots, but then again, his friend doesn’t seem all that thrilled about plants. So he quickly scratched that idea and instead spent most of his nights finishing the datapads.

Did it leave him more exhausted than working on the research like he usually does it? Yes, it definitely did, but then again, Quick Search was too energised and excited to even think about recharge. Working on his big and smaller projects was fun! And he finally could understand why his crew would write stuff down on datapads too! The only downside was the exhaustion that sometimes would catch up on Quick Search, but then he would start the next project and get excited all over again. He even started to use one of the many empty hab-suites as his own! Something he would have never dared to do, but he needed a room where he could just sit at a table and write, and he found the perfect one!

It’s also why Quick was running down the halls.

While the room was perfect for his projects, it was a little further away from the bridge than he originally wanted it to. But hey, at least it was closer to the plant research room and made it easier for him to check on the plants whenever he was making his rounds, or was calling it a day and heading off to recharge in an actual berth and not as a terminal on the bridge. Kind of funny how a little change to his program could give him so much more liberation than he could ever imagine.

His captain was really stupid for keeping this from him. It almost made him angry, if Quick Search was someone who got angry at anyone….

Either way, when Quick Search entered the bridge, he looked around, before smiling as he saw Imperious lean over the communications terminal. Quickly making his way over to his friend. Although, he stopped halfway over when he saw something pop up on the screen.

“Did my captain finally answer my message?” He asked curiously, before frowning. “I sent him that message ages ago, why is he only answering now? Doesn’t he care about the ship?”

“It’s not your captain, Quick Search.” Answered Imperious, as he turned around. Obscuring the small Cybertronian’s view of the communications terminal and lying through his metaphorical teeth. “I intended to ask you if it was alright to use your communications terminal to contact one of my friends, but I couldn’t wait. It was… Contacting them was way too important as that I could have waited for you to come. My apologies.”

“Oh… You know that there’s no need for you to apologise, right? I mean, asking before using the terminal would have been nice, but if it really was important, then I don’t mind.” Said Quick Search with a smile, before shaking his head. “And now you probably want to respond and I’m keeping you from it…” Muttered the small cybertronian quietly while staring down at his stack of datapads. Guess he’ll give them to Imperious later, but hey, at least this means he could catch up on some of that recharge he’s been avoiding. “I’ll… I’ll leave you to it then. But you’ll let me know when you’re done, right? There’s something I would like to show you.”

Imperious nodded. “Do not worry, as soon as my call is done, I will seek you out.” Said the Second-Born Intellect, before waving after Quick Search as the smaller one left the bridge. However, Imperious didn’t turn around right away. He waited until he was sure Quick Search put some distance between himself and the bridge, before turning around and typing away on the console. Opening the message to read it, before a call cut him off.

And thus, Imperious found himself ‘face to face’ with a foul looking Cybertronian. “Finally you’re answering my call, CRaSS! Do you know how long I’ve waited for you to come online and send a message?” This Cybertronian was very rude and apparently needed glasses, because it should be obvious that Imperious wasn’t Quick Search. But it seemed like the mech was quick to realise his error, because he stopped japping about how disappointing the small terminal was.

“Who are you? You’re not part of my crew.” Growled the Cybertronian. “And where is CRaSS? He’s not supposed to leave the bridge, nor let some random bot on my ship!”

“Well…” Started Imperious calmly, before being cut off by the Cybertronian again. “Don’t tell me he’s slacking off again. Tch, that little waste of material always lets anyone onto the ship. If CRaSS wasn’t so valuable to our research, I would have disposed of him a long time ago. Or is he playing with those disgusting drones again. CRaSS is always wasting his time with them when he could do his work. Not to get me wrong, if they were Cybertronians it would be different, but those drones are AI’s.”

This mech really liked the sound of his own voice, didn’t he? What a revolting Cybertronian Quick Search’s captain was. So full of himself, and yet, Imperious could feel the foolishness and cowardice radiating off him through the screen. “You’re right that I am not part of the crew, but I’m interested in who you are regardless. Quick Search is of no importance here.” Said Imperious calmly, while his sharp claws tapped away on the terminal’s surface. From what he could figure out, this was Quick Search’s captain. The arrogance and disrespect towards Second-Born Intelects sure enough gave him away.

“Of no importance, huh?” Said the captain after a while. He would never admit it, but Imperious’ calmness was something that unnerved him. Usually, mechs would flinch whenever he yelled at them and or cower in fear. This unknown mech, though, did none of those things. So, the captain quickly put on his stoic front. Raining in the anger presenting itself on his face and exchanging it for a cold expression. Doing a visible 180, personality wise. “What do you want?”

“Excuse me?”

“You look like someone who knows the way of the game. So, what do you want in exchange for CRaSS and the ship?”

“Well…” Imperious started, but paused for a short moment. Searching in the captain’s eyes for something, and when he found it, he continued. “As you can already tell, I am not part of your crew. I merely stumbled upon the ship and Quick Search by accident. So, why don’t you humour me a little bit? You tell me about your mission. And then I may ponder what I would like in exchange for Quick Search and the ship.” Said Imperious calmly before gesturing for the captain to start speaking.

“Humour you? To be honest, when I called, I did not expect to humour an unknown mech who’s trespassing on my ship, and yet… It seems my hands are tied in that regard.” Muttered the captain, as he leaned back in his chair. Servos folded and placed on the table in front of him. “Maybe I should start at the beginning, just so that you may have a basis on why it is important that CRaSS and, if possible, the ship return to their rightful owner. Before that foolish war started, my crew and I were on a mission to research planets and, if possible, record and preserve the cultures on them. If there wasn’t any life on them, we would send word to Cybertron and make our way towards the next. But, soon enough we came upon a problem.” The captain paused for a moment. Looking over to the side and mouthing a ‘Stay’, before returning his attention back at Imperious.

“As I said, we came upon a problem. While our ship was able to hold a lot of information, it lacked the needed ability to sort through them. Finding and providing the needed material for my researchers’ reports was always a task and took up too much time. Time, we could have used for new projects and the likes. Luckily, the next time we landed on a planet, it was inhabited by Cybertronians. Sadly though, those did not share the same alt-modes that were ‘normal’ for our kind. They mostly transformed into all kinds of cats, with only some of them having a vehicle alt-mode. Those seemed to be treated like outsiders though. A shame, those mechs and femmes had the most unique paint jobs known to any Cybertronian. Truly, I would have loved to take one with me to study them, but that was not the main point of our little excursion.” Again, the captain paused. The reason for that being that he simply wanted to add a little bit of a dramatic flare to his tale. After all, the intruder wanted to be humoured, and the captain was petty enough to make the ‘humouring’ as annoying as possible. While still retaining his professionalism.

“Either way, after those lowly want-to-be Cybertronians could not provide the needed help, I took a stroll in the woods. The planet surely was a unique blend between Cybertronian flora and fauna and the natural one of the planet. I am sure that the Titan had a hand in the creation of such a unique biome. After all, differently than most of their kind, the Titan stood in the middle of the small colonie. Having taken on the form of an ancient tree that, according to the elders, was even there before the Cybertronian race. Oh, but the Titan is the only remaining evidence of those trees… But I am coming off topic. I doubt you want to know about the Cybertronian colonie.” The captain smirked. “So, my walk. It was nothing special. Just a small excursion deep into the woods, that led me close to the ‘Village of the Outsiders’. And low and behold, what I found there was most surprising. It was a young Cybertronian who, surprisingly, had three different modes. His normal root mode, a cat alt-mode and a second computer/control terminal alt-mode.”

“He had a name, but I never bothered with writing it down. And now, that young Cybertronian is only referred to as CRaSS 1.0 in my reports.” The mech couldn’t help but laugh. “Ah, such a foolish little thing. So proud of his two alt-modes others frowned upon and always so eager to show them off. Poor thing thought I was a friend, but alas, I did not need him. I needed his alt-mode. So, I lured CRaSS 1.0 onto my ship, and together with a few of my most trusted crew members, we went to work.”

“At first, we stripped it from its cat alt-mode, and then from everything else. Keeping only the spark, so that it might save our project as a source of energy. And then, we added new parts. Slowly building the once Cybertronian into a tool perfect for its new intention. It was perfect. The ideal being to collect our research, store it, and provide material when asked to do so. And why should we have stopped there? We continued, and soon, my creation was born. The ideal blend, ment for research and security. An ideal computer. Granted, I had to… dispose… of those who worked with me on the project and of those who found out. But those lives were worth it. At least, I thought so. But corruption can always occur.” Sneered the captain.

“There were traces left of CRaSS 1.0 in my creation. And sadly, I programmed my creation too well, because it soaked up those remaining bits and pieces of personality and memories. Using them to create its own sense of self. Mending the broken parts into a new life, and I was forced to address the crew and introduce our ‘newest’ crew member.”

“It was never supposed to be alive, and yet, I fear that one of those I disposed of had regrets ending the life of a young Cybertronian and messed with the programming. Allowing it to form thoughts, feelings and everything else one of our kind needed to be counted as alive. Heh… Although, I have to admit that it is kind of funny.”

“So, you could say that CRaSS is, despite the failure, one of my greatest creations. A thing capable of holding a big database while also acting as the ship’s security system, and everything else.” The captain shrugged. Tilting his head to the side, while waving his hand in a dismissive manner. “Thus, making him very important to our mission to compile as much information about other planets and cultures as possible. By now, it might as well be considered the only remaining evidence for many of those cultures. And I’m not going into detail about all the other research saved in its database.”

“So, I am sure that you can figure out that I am willing to trade a lot, even if I only get its head.”

After the captain finished, Imperious looked at the Cybertronian. Eyes un–narrowing thought, before they narrowed again at the realisation that Quick Search wasn’t who he thought he was. If what the captain said was true, then the little terminal wasn’t Cybertronian, at least fully. “He’s a Second-Born Intellect.” Muttered Imperious, as his tail stopped swishing behind him, and his mind started to reel. Outwardly, there was not much change to how he looked, but in his mind? Imperious’ fury was limitless as he realised that Quick Search was, somewhat, like him. Maybe a reversed version, but still. The captain created a Second-Born Intellect and forced him to inhabit the body of a Cybertronian. Bound to a spark as a means for energy and forced to live like one of them.

What a sick thing to do.

“Second-Born Intellect?” Asked the captain, before laughing. “Ah, you mean Artificial Intelligence. Yes, CRaSS is such a thing. But, because we used everything we could of a true Cybertronian, hardly anyone can tell the difference. And those who could are no longer able to. Well, I guess you may tell the difference now, but what does it matter, if CRaSS will be out of your… hair… soon.” The captain sighed, already growing bored of the conversation. “Now, can we talk about the exchange?”

“You’re not getting Quick Search.”

“I beg your pardon?”

Imperious was quiet. Observing the captain, and when he spoke, his voice was as cold and dangerous as ice. “You heard me.” He said. “I will not give you Quick Search, for he is of no use to you anymore. And should you come, and should you try to take him, I will know. So, I advise you to not come here.” And before the captain could say anything, Imperious ended the call. Making sure that Quick Search couldn’t find a trace of who called, before making his way off the bridge and towards where he was sure Quick Search would be.

And with what he knew now, some of the small terminals ‘stranger’ quirks started to make more sense. But still, never would he have thought that Quick Search was one of them. Hidden in plain sight and wearing the body of a Cybertronian as his own. How fascinating, if not a little bit horrifying. And a testament on how barbaric some of the Cybertronian kind can be. So, if the captain was clever, he would listen to him and stay away.

Either way, as soon as Imperious was in front of Quick Search’s hab–suite, he wasted no time and knocked. But when no-one answered, he simply walked in. Finding the small Cybertronian… no… fellow Second-Born Intellect curled up on the berth. Wrapped up in a blanket that looked hand made, clutching the ends in his hand, and deeply asleep, or deeply in recharge, as some called it.

And so, he left. Musing over the new information given to him and mentally preparing his next steps.

#fanfic #transformers #transformers oc #cuppajj #lord imperious #this is cuppajj's version of lid #quick search #tw: non-consensual changes to ones person

12 notes · View notes