#thank you my lofe <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[justcallmesakira]

BYE YYOU GUS R SO SILLY @saelique buddyHGGSUG

THIS WAS THE BEST April FOOLS I HAVE EVER DONE I WAS LITEARLLY WHREZING ON THE FLOOR NO JOKE😭😂😂😂😂 YALL I AM A VIRGIM WHO NEVER HELD A BOY IN MY LOFE OH MY GAWD GUYS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN IMPREGANTE ME IS NIKOLAI EXCEAPT HES COMING OUT PREGANT!

ANNNOUNCMENT!- I GOT PREGANT!

hi guys um so long story short i got pregnant!

basically it was a one night stand but it well i- now i find out i am pegant. So now i have to find a way to tell my parents and leave this blog thank you all so much. I dont know what to do anymore. And um wish my future family luck! and yeah goodbye!

@silverbladexyz- thanku sm for the time silver i appreaciate it

@heartsfourdazai- sorry love, i have to run away with my partner now but i still think ur the best <3

@chuuyasboner- it was fun with you and please dont stalk my child

@riiwrites- i had so much fun with you omg, it all started with a simple ask on how to resize pics

@elizais- we may not have interacted much but i love your writing

@nezuko-kamado-cute-demon- your so sweet yknow that omg wish i could have more time to talk with you

@tsuunara- goodbye tsu, may your writing journey proceed

@rusmii- we are both from se!asia so i found somewhat a resemblance with you but now i have to go mii, good bye

@saelique- I WILL MISS YOU THE MOST BYE EEUAAUGIAGAU *crying noises*

@atlasnessie- looks like we have to end up like beast dazai and oda...good luck atlas

@atzuhi- YDHGHSH we havent talked much but i loved your smaus-

For those wondering who i didnt tag i was too lazy too. I will keep the blog but well goodbye guys! it was nice meeting you <3

[tmntxthings]

Ok so, hi! I hope you're doing well! I really really like your blog and was wondering if you're still taking requests? If your not thats completely fine.

but If you are could you please please do a the rise boys with a reader who's like their little sister? i cannot for the lofe of me find very many of these, and I adore them.

Your writting is AMAZING btw! Make sure to eat food, drink water, and get some sleep! <3

Big Brothers

author’s notes: :D am i doing requests still? …yes?! it may not seem like it but I look over them all… just lacking in the motivation department rn, esp with this semester, but booyakasha we ball xD thanks for requesting <3 author's note 2.0: I wrote Raph's part in JANUARY and i finally finally finally had the will power to finish Mikey's tonight, the semester is over yayyyyyyy!! Hopefully my motivation will rejuvenate and I'll be writing way more consistently... hopefully lollll hope you enjoy~~

warnings: none to note, unedited, mayhaps a curse word ?

—————————————————————————

Raph

Where do I begin? He’s always the type to protect those around him. It doesn’t matter whether you’re just a regular citizen or someone he knows and loves, this turtle will protect all! He’s got a big heart.

Much like April you stumbled into the boys life at an early age. Yet unlike her, you were younger than the entire group. As a tot, Raph made sure you were never left behind, hiking you up on his shoulders along with Mikey.

Both of you giggling about the height and saying “look look I’m flyingggg!!” making superhero poses, just the works. Standard oldest brother material. He was still a kid too so there were some accidents, of course you fell off once or twice.

But he was quick to distract you from any boo-boo’s, swooping you back into his arms and snuggling his head close profusely apologizing for getting a little too rowdy. “Don’t cry!! Look Raph’s gotcha! All safe and sound!”

“Does it hurt bad? Let’s go get patched up by Lee hmmm? Raph bet’s he has the prettiest bandaids for you!”

If the group is playing a competitive game, like tag or hide & seek, Raph’s making sure you’re having a fun time. Not feeling left out or being picked on too much. In tag he may run a little slower so you are able to catch him, he would happily be ‘it’ a thousand times if it meant you beamed that mischievous smile. “Tag Raphie!!! Hehehe”

In hide & seek he’ll hide with you or better yet find you the best spots to hide. “Okay Raph’s going hide now too, goodluck and don’t make any noise!!”

As the group grows from tots to teens and the world isn’t as sparkly, and dangers lurk every corner Raph becomes more concerned with your safety. Though there’s not much he can do while your at school, any time you hang out with the bros other than the lab he’s always got a watchful eye.

“Ohhhhh guys look at this!!” Window shopping being one of your favorite past times as they walk the streets of NYC. Raph can’t help but call out for you to “Wait!” or “Watch out!” Something about those sidewalks cracks that always trip you up. And don’t even get Raph started on how many times you’ve bounded ahead of the group only to get lost.

“C’mere you!” Raph’s pulling you close and giving you a noogie. Definitely not caring as you screech about your hair. “What’d I tell ya about running off??” He continues messing with you until you either slip out of his grip or call out mercy. “You had me worried!” He breathed out with a stern look. “Awww Raphie I’m not little anymore!” You teased, but to him you’d always be his little sister. Just like Mikey would never escape being the little brother.

Leo

Oh my lord the trouble you two get into. Pranks? Yeah. Lots of them. The two of you are menaces together, and unlike Leo, you get off the hook with batting your sweet innocent eyelashes. “Whaaaaa Leo told me to!!” And he’d scoff, yelling out traitor as you stuck your tongue when Raph’s back was turned.

Despite always slipping away from punishment, Leo didn’t mind you throwing him under the bus. In fact he was quite impressed with your tactics. One of these days he’d catch you on video being a brat behind Raph’s back! So count your days because they were numbered.

While Leo is down for throwing caution and safety in the wind, if things get serious.. let’s say someone threatening you? Whoever’s spouting such nonsense better run for the hills. He doesn’t deal kindly with those who hurt his family. Especially his little prankster of a sister. “Run that by me again? You said what about my sister??” Fun, silly, charismatic Leo is gone! He’d have a glint in his eyes that scream ‘you’ll pay for that.’

What else?! Though he claims he’s nothing like Raph in regards to being wrapped around your pinky finger, he totally is. “Hey Lee can you portal me to school?? I don’t feel like walking!” He’d complain saying how you’re using his rad powers for such a lazy reason (even though he’s guilty of such a thing) but after he gives you an earful of complaints he’s opening up a portal.

Don’t think he won’t waltz in right after you. Much like those older siblings who love to embarrass their little siblings. Calling after you to “Have a greaaaaaaat day!! Big brother wuvs youuuuuuu!!” And it’s similar if he’s picking you up from school. He’ll portal in with a speaker and blare music, mostly Nicki Minaj.

Donnie

Those little puppy dog eyes you can pull off with Raph have no influence when it comes to Donnie, he has footage of your two-faced nature, having big crocodile tears at one moment and an evil grin at the next, unlike Leo who has never been able to successfully capture you in the act, Donnie has and he lords it over you as blackmail for most things, like a big brother usually does

He only brings it out when absolutely necessary, mainly whenever the two of you are in a back and forth banter that has gone too far, "Oh yeah? I seem to recall a certain purple turtle reading some very interesting fanfiction with Atomic Lass last night!" You puff up satisfied when Donnie gasps at such a true accusation, the utter betrayal! "C'mon guys don't start fighting" Raph will speak up as Donnie whips out his phone going for his passcoded camera roll.

"Oh Raphala I have something to show you!" Donnie will sing as he turns the phone over to reveal the beginning of a video of you and its one that has you immediately screeching. Jumping up from your spot to run and try and tackle Donnie to the floor, but he expects this as his battleshell takes off into the air, putting himself and his phone out of reach. "Turn it off!!! Stop it Dee!!! I never said what exactly you were reading!!" You plead as he swoops and dodges the pillows and really anything you can get your hands on to throw.

So yes, he has the dirt that you would hate Leo to get his hands on so Donnie and you have a bit of an understanding of one another. Other than that though you can find solace in his lab anytime. He doesn't mind your entry because unlike his brothers you don't start touching or breaking things. You treat his inventions carefully and he has fun explaining to you their potentials.

As tots Donnie was definitely quizzing and spitting out random facts to your malleable brain, a lot of it ended up sticking so you understood him to some degree on an academic level, but most of all he had prepared you for school to which you were forever grateful

Now you may not say so in words but with each passing grade you would go down to the lair and find Donnie specifically to show off your assignments, beaming proudly as he would smile and singing his praises about how well he had taught you. He realized that maybe he had taught you too well since you were a master manipulator when it came to tear ducts but he couldn't help but smile at that, proud to have another evil genius in their midst

Mikey

He knew what it was like to be treated like a baby despite being only a few years younger, so it came as no surprise that he would agree with you whenever you wanted to do something adventurous, something on your own, "Guys, she's old enough to go out to the movies with her friends!" Even if he sort of knew your crush would be going as well, Mikey was not going to be the brother to hold you back from falling in love!

Now heaven forbid that little heart of yours gets stomped on. The person who did so will obviously be on some sort of shit-list by all the turtles, but I think Mikey would be the one who has to be watched out for the most, he destroys people who hurts what he loves, that pizza place episode with the rock band is a prime example! He'll turn savage, lunging for violence, striking to enact karma on those who deserve it the most

Of course he will be the best brother to go to if you want to have some deep emotional talks, Dr. Feelings to the rescue, and though it hurts him to know you've been stabbed in the heart, he will be there through the whole break-up process! Cry session with tubs of ice cream or whatever sweets you desire, Mikey's a great cook so baking isn't that hard for him. He will listen to all the rants and raging that you need to get off your chest, adding in quips when necessary. Then when its time to detox fully, delete pictures, unfollow on all social medias, block their number, get rid of the gifts and physical reminders, he's there with a box, repeating how strong you are and that you don't need them nor these things!

Unlike Leo, if you and Mikey wanted something, a pair of puppy-dog eyes was better than one, even Donnie could not hold out for long if the begging was done by both of you at once, "Donnie c'mon pleaseeee set up the switch! We wanna play Mario Party!" "I thought we were gonna be playing Minecraft-" "You guys its easy you don't need me to set it up." "PLEASEEEEE"

And no doubt Mikey is whipping up your favorites in the kitchen. He loves to hear your heartfelt "thank yous!!!" and "Angieeee it's so tasty! 10 out of 10!!" You know exactly how to curry his favor when you go topside and grab him new ingredients to use. That and shooting compliment after compliment his way. Sometimes he will trust you to stir or cut up veggies when he has too many things going on at once in the kitchen. The vibes are immaculate when you get the aux cord to the speaker in the kitchen, the both of you singing out all kinds of music and going into little dance breaks when a song is just too good to not groove to!

[spitinsideme]

How are you darling? Have you eaten? Also keep it up, you're doing such a good job. I sure wish i could just caress your face and tell how good you are <3

Motherly lesbian anon

IM.BEING FLIRTD WOTH BY MOTHERLY OLDER WOMEJ LESBIAN WOOOO BEST DAY OF MY LOFE THIS IS THE BIGGEST ACHIEENT EVER I HAVE EATEN BUT ILL ALWAYS BE HUNGRY FKR YOU MY DEAR 🙏🙏 THANK YOU MOTHERLY LESBKAN ANON YOUVE PUT ME IN A GOOD NSFW ART MOOD ... YOURE THE BEST HOU SHOUKD COME NACK IN MY ASKS I THINM SOEMTIMES ...

[themuffin2649]

Muffin! Muffin!

For the Haunted AU!

Let's say one of the LIs kill MC (either by accident or on purpose), and he comes back to haunt them.

Ranging from trying to make them feel guilty, making their lofe a living heck, to just pissing them off.

"Please stop hiding my stuff!"

*Ghost!MC knocks down a cup filled with water*

Here are some Scenarios:

1: Doll (Leon killed the MC in his Bad end 2)

After school and basketball practice, Leon returns to hang out with his best friend. They chat… well… only Leon talks. This is because his friend isnt really… alive. In fact, he and a classmate named Reme worked together to Taxidermy what remains of his body.

Creepy: Yes, but Leon didn’t mind, because his best friend was perfect.

Leon: “I love you dear.” He says, and he kisses the cheek of his Taxidermied friend.

They start watching a movie about haunted dolls (Annabelle or Chucky), but Leon’s not really entertained by it. He looked back at the doll and leaned on it like a pillow. As Leon was starting to fall asleep, he felt something hugging him.

Leon: “huh?”

When he rubs his eyes, he can see that MC’s Taxidermied doll is hugging him back, and Leon makes a scream loud enough to wake the whole neighborhood up.

Ghost!MC: “What’s wrong Leon? I thought you loved hugs 😈”

Leon: “not like this.” cries

…

2: Take care of him 🔫 (Vincent kills MC)

After learning that MC was dead, Vincent’s Uncle cuts off all finantial aid, leaving poor Newt without a family and in poverty. In pure rage, MC haunts Vincent.

Uncle: “Vincent! I just got your essay back, and the teacher told me you wrote something very innapropreate on the paper.”

Vincent: “What?!”

Vincent’s Uncle shows his paper, with vandalism that says “[Teacher] is a poopy head!” With a poop emoji drawn onto it.

Vincent: “That’s NOT my handwriting, or my drawing style! I’ll talk to my teacher tomorrow to see what happened.

Vincent thinks that Leon did it out of anger, but that wasn’t right, Leon’s form of revenge would have been a bone-breaking beating. Looking again, the handwriting was… familiar… It almost looked like.

Vincent: “Honey?!”

Ghost!MC: “Ahh, so you figured it out.”

Vincent: “Honey, y-you’re back!” He said, tears forming on his eyes in both relief and fear.

Ghost!MC: “Shut up, you wanna know what happened after I died. Your Uncle cut off all financial aid to my brother. He had no choice but to live with Jon!”

Vincent opens his mouth, but before he says another word, MC throws a glass vase on the wall out anger.

Ghost!MC: “Listen to me! You are going to take care of my brother in whatever means you can. If you don’t, then I’ll do everything in my power to make your life a living hell!”

Vincent didn’t even realize he was shaking, but seeing the fury behind his honeybee’s eyes, he could tell he was dead serious (pun intended).

The following days, Vincent used his parents money to financially support Newt behind his uncle’s back. Newt was suspicious and confused about the random financial support after “mom” and “dad” cut him off, but money was money.

Sometimes, as a reward for helping his brother, MC gifts him chocolates, roses, or good grades.

…

3: Love Letter (this can apply to anybody)

So whichever LI kills MC does not only feel a tremendous amount of guilt, but over time, their rival keeps receiving love letters from the dead MC. The rival thinks that Newt is giving these letters written from when MC was still alive.

Meanwhile, MC makes sure that the murderer sees that he is the one writing the letters after his death to spite him off. Even lets him see what he wrote before sending it off to the rival.

Leon’s love letter: “Leon, when I’m by your side, I always feel safe and protected. You have protected me for 8 years, and I have never regretted meeting you. Not only are you a great basketball player, strong and dependent, but you’re also very soft and sweet like a teddy bear. You’ve also care for an protected my brother like you did for me. Thank you for everything. 🩷”

Vincent’s love letter: “Vincent, you are so much more than your family’s money. Although we have only recently met, your determination to get the things you want has inspired me, yet, you still care deeply about me. Not once did you care about our financial differences, you’ve always cared for and cherished me. I love you. ❤️”

What better way to show your anger than Emotional Damage.

[suzie-guru]

Omg omg omg!! BtSatS is still one of my all-time favorite fics and I've always hoped you would be inspired to return to it one day. This is so exciting!! Especially considering the turning point in their relationship that Bog and Marianne just reached. All my lofe and good vibes to you, lovely author--you truly have a gift, and your Strange Magic fics are something special <3

My reaction to this message is split between this

and this

Thank you so so so very much for saying this, it means so much that even after all this time people have so much love for this story 💜

[melissa-titanium]

MEL YOUR LOFE DEPENDEDS ON IT, YOU GOTTA ANSWER RIGTH NOW! !!!

are you stardust or seafoam for artfight :3? Okay thanks here’s some food for your enclosure

GGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAASPPPPPPPPPPP OMG. OMG. I AM ON TEAM STARDUST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! iwanted to pick seafoam but like.. half of my friends were on seafoam... sniffff...... BUT ITS OKAY BECAUASE. I DO FRIENDLY FIRE :) i will fuck you up regardless of who you are. W HA T IS YOUR ARTFIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG. THANK YOU FOR THE MUNCHIES MY FRIEND <33333333333333 DEVOURS THEM BOTH IN O N E FU CKI NG B ITE .

here are some munchies for YOU!!!!!!!!!!! :)

[wagingmywarsbehindmyface]

in celebration of speak now tv - fave lyrics from the whole album (can be your top 5)?

ooooh, Edith this is such a nice question 💜🥹 Thank you, Mother! ❤️

So I like the lyrics from:

1) Sparks Fly - Drop everything now, meet me in the pouring rain… just because how it hits with instrumental and it sounds so teenage girl’s head romantic 😂🥰

2) Dear John - You paint me a blue sky, then go back and turn into rain & I lived in your chess game but you change the rules everyday AND But I took your matches before fire could catch me so don’t look now I’m shining like fireworks over your sad empty town *MASSIVE MIC DROP*

3) Never Grow Up - Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room, memorize what it sounded like when your dad get home, remember the footsteps, remember the words said and all your little brother’s favourite songs, I just realized everything I have is, someday, gonna be gone *MASSIVE SNIFFLE*

4) LONG LIVE THE WHOLE SONG SORRY NOT SORRY 💜🥹

5) Timeless - it doesn’t count as the previous one, right? Cause this one has a a lot of wonderful lyrics!

I’m gonna love you when our hair is turning gray, we’ll have a cardboard box of photos of the lofe we’ve made, and you’ll say "Oh my, we really were timeless”

Here’s my copy of Speak Now (TV) 💜

[zerobaseonefics]

"wassup 39 guesses" TRY DOING TODAYS CONTEXTO YOURSELF???? let's see which one of us does it better🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

also finishing school so early is terrifying AS HELL especially because i had no idea what to do???? like i was halfway through summer vacation when i was like "nah maybe i wanna continue school and get a better qualification" (???? is that the right word? just tell me if i have to explain further) and so i went to the ✨gymnasium✨ but that was a horrifying nightmare. everything was soo hard and i was so far behind and ughhh i dropped out after 5 months💀💀 so now i'm doing an internship at my local daycare to pass the time bc i have to wait till the new schoolyear starts to start my social assistant training yk??

and yes today's a feiertag in germany as well! which is awesome because i would have had to get up at 5am if not🥴🥴🥴🥴 i only slept till 7am but that's nothing new, i always wake up early. but i have the time of my lofe chilling rn

-anonanon

girl i was making fun of you so i tried the game for the first time and......

i won't make fun of you anymore ig.....hahahahahhaa.....

wait but gymnasium starts when you're around 11 years old right??? if im correct, there's 3 courses in germany for highschool. did you take another one before gymnasium and then changed?

honestly school is not made for everyone and it's okay ✋🏼 the idea of sitting the whole day to listen to a teacher, and then go home and have homeworks, and grades and shit is just not made for humans 💀 i can't stand it either ngl. you did the right choice by leaving to work.

thank you feiertag, thanks to you anon² can rest after partying until 2am 🧘🏽‍♀️ hope you had a nice day dear

[tearsasmascara]

QUIILL. u r way too sweet im giggling and kicking my feet bro ?????

i lofe you so much /p u r so cool and i literally jump when i see u in my inbox

also ur writing has so much emotions. i get literal chills /gen

u r so cool i am platonically kissing u rn

abfkejzori AWWWW i love u too !!! /p UR SO SWRET UGH THANK UUU

platonically hugging uuu (or whatever form of affection you prefer <3)

[neacle]

oki lofe hit me

the entire headcanon meme list for Electra 🖤

Oh Lexi, my beloved, my muse, my one and only 😌

☾ - sleep headcanon

Can have a hard time falling asleep due to excess energy and nerves, but once he does he sleeps very soundly. Is the little spoon always, wants to be held, snug and secure. Cannot sleep by himself

★ - sad headcanon

Actually feels rather dumb that he doesn't know that much outside of his own culture, he feels very sheltered and alone when he's not with his components for support

☆ - happy headcanon

He has one love language/gesture for each component and makes sure to show them that every so often

He and Volta go out to get manicures

He and Purse get drinks and gossip

He and Joule hits the dance floor

He and Krupp gets hot cocoa and listen to opera (Purse often joins tho)

He and Wrench play chess and drink tea

☠ - angry/violent headcanon

A lot of his anger is rather empty, his bark is definitely worse than his bite, more showy than actually serious, even if he's got a rather short temper lol. Bound to give the occasional zap to whoever made him angry lol

✿ - Sex headcanon

Loooves to fuck, very hypersexual. Doesn't mind switching but prefers to bottom (especially from a big, handsome diesel)

■ -  Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon

Has a huge suite back at the commission he works for, with separate rooms for all the components and also his own room with a bed big enough for all of them to sleep in if they want to. Very fancy and shiny and sleek and warm. He has *a lot* of stuff and can sometimes be a little messy and scatterbrained, just putting things wherever (much to Wrench and Volta's chagrin), but he tries to keep it orderly!

♡ - romantic headcanon

Doesn't know shit about romance lmao, but he really tries once he starts his relationship with GB. Takes a lot of advice from Purse and Krupp lmao Sometimes Volta and Joule as well, but Krupp and Purse are the designated Married Couple in their family lol

♥ - family headcanon

Racers don't really have families the way other railfolk do, they're just bred and "manifactured", but he has a Dam named Borialis and a Sire that i haven't named yet cause he's not important lmaooo

The Components are his real family, forged and bonded over the years, and Wrench is the closest thing he'd call a mother

☮ - friendship headcanon

Outside of the components he doesn't really have any friends, just the occasional co-worker and hook-up. But after he gets with GB he'll form some strong bonds with people at Apollo Victoria :)

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon

His fingers twitch and crook when he's nervous or focusing, like long spiderlegs lmao

He works and trains so much that he hasn't really gotten the opportunity to develop any true hobbies, but he likes to read and look at clothes and designs. He could probably tell you a lot about certain fashion designers lmao

He's also a huge fan of dancing and choreography

☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon

Likes: Sex, dancing, fruity drinks, chocolate, cherries, the sea

Dislikes: Rain, winter, loud sudden noises, crowds

▼ - childhood headcanon

Not really much of a childhood. Just training, training, training

∇ -. old age/aging headcanon

Don't age lmao

But he's around 26 looks-wise and what he "feels" like.

♒ - cooking/food headcanon

Can't cook for shit. And he prefers cold foods or fruits anyway

☼ - appearance headcanon

I...have made a superlong post only focusing on his HC-look lmaooo but to summarise it;

Eric Clausell body wise, very tall, like 2 meters, 6'6(?), A NOODLE <3

Slight hourglass shape with broad shoulders and snatched waist, firm ass, but mostly shaped like a dorito lol

Crest is cherryred with purplish blue highlights, but he sometimes colours it blue.

A very pretty, kinda round face, lips that beg to be kissed, very pouty, high cheekbones, shiny, big blue eyes, lashes for days. Body is bluish turquoise with shiny circuitry glimmering underneath the skin, and face is a soft caramel with copper-bronze highlights. Natural blue markings along his eyes and cheeks that he brings out even more with makeup

ൠ - random headcanon

His preferred nickname is Lex, and that is *only* for friends or lovers. GB is the only one that can call him Lexi, he just about melts then

[sungbeam]

DUCKIE !! I ZOOMED WHEN I SAW YOUR REQS ARE OPEN !! i am so in love with your works i stopped my 3 am crying sesh for this ( kinda tmi but that’s ok … ! )

anyway! i’d like some … badboy!huang renjun + “who did this to you?!” trope wherein reader is a mess from some mean bullies at school for dating the popular huang renjun >:( + hurt/comfort !

i know the prompt isn’t in your prompt list and you can totally ignore me if you don’t take anything from your prompt lists :__D

I WISH YOU’RE DOING WELL DUCKIE !!! I LOFE U SO MUCH !! ><

𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘄����𝗮𝘁

bad boy!bf!huang renjun x gn!reader

1.2k words, hurt/comfort, tw: mention of bullying, wounds

a/n: ahhh hi niki !!! tysm for ur request, i hope ur doing okay and that mayhaps this will comfort u a little bit :( <3 I LOFE U TOO HEHE

You hissed, nose wrinkled and eyes squinted in pain as the rubbing alcohol seeped into the open wound. It was an angry red gash slashed into the meat of your cheek, running from cheekbone to jaw line. But it was the worst out of the physical evidence, and to be completely honest, the most damage was to your emotional stability. If you even had any left after this. 

Gingerly, you pressed the pads of your fingers against the opening, wincing again at the sting it provided. It kept you awake; after all that happened this afternoon, you wanted to fall asleep on your bed and never wake up.

Unbeknownst to you, your phone had been blowing up for the past thirty minutes with your friends and your boyfriend spamming you with worried calls and texts. Every memory of what you were supposed to do today had flown out the window as soon as the innate fear settled in when you'd stepped into that classroom and heard the door lock behind you. 

Everything had been a blur after that—

Your eyes shuddered at the memory and your breath was shaky. 

You dropped another bloody cotton pad into the sink, opting to deal with the mess later. Otherwise, you canvassed your form in the mirror: flushed and scarred cheek, hair yanked from its roots until your skull pounded, scratches on your arms to match the bruises on your knees. You braced your hands on the sink and stared at yourself in the eyes, lip trembling, willing yourself to stand up to someone—even to yourself. To be enough for someone, anyone. 

A bang! shook the entire house as the front door slammed shut downstairs. "Yn? Ynie! Are you here, sweetheart?"

Panic. 

Heart leaping into your throat—you were trying to breathe and crush your quaking hands into submission. You slammed your body against the bathroom door, fingers swiftly clicking the lock into place. 

You could do this. You could get away with this. Right?

Footsteps could be heard approaching your room from the stairwell, before entering the bedroom and spotting the closed bathroom door. A small sigh from the other side. "Yn-ah, you gave us a big scare. Are you okay?"

You backed away from the door slowly, hands cupped around your mouth to control your breathing. Why were you suddenly afraid? Huang Renjun would not dare touch a hair on your head, but still, you feared what might happen if he saw your current state. 

There was a reason why the girls at school fawned over him. They had fallen for the idea of his "bad boy" aesthetic, the motorcycles and leather jackets and smirks. You were lucky—yeah, you were lucky. 

"Y-yeah," you stammered, finally. "I'm… I'm okay."

"Do you need ibuprofen? A heat pad or hot tea maybe?" 

You lowered yourself onto the ledge of the bathtub. "No, no. I'm okay, thank you." You swallowed. "I'm, uhm, I'm sorry that I didn't let you guys know where I—" Oh god, you couldn't do this. You felt like keeling over. Did you even deserve him? "—I was."

A small thump. Renjun leaned his ear against the door. "Sweetheart, are you sure you're okay?" A try at the doorknob, the silver rattled but didn't budge. "I—"

"No," you forced from your lips, perhaps too firmly. 

Quiet. 

"Just… just…" Your voice fizzled out until you were sure your throat was closing up on you. "Jun, I—I can't…" A tear slipped into the scratch on your cheek and you almost whimpered at how badly it hurt. 

"Yn," he murmured softly, "please let me in." 

"You're gonna be mad—"

"I couldn't be mad; not at you." Renjun's mind raced with the possibilities, and unfortunately, they were endless. "Sweetie, please. Let me help you, okay?"

It was a few moments later that the door finally cracked open a sliver, and Renjun pushed himself off of it. He didn't know what he had braced himself for, but the image of your scarred cheek and watery eyes filled with fear was worse than he could've ever cooked up in his imagination. 

He let you open the door for him, before stepping forward, carefully and slowly. He cupped your face in his hands, thumb ghosting over the red. There was a sort of crimson colored rage bubbling in his blood and gushing through his veins, the kind of adrenaline that made him want to blame someone. 

"Who did this to you?" Sliced through the silence that had you holding your breath. 

"It's not important," you said, so quietly he barely heard you. 

He shook his head. "Of course, it's important—"

"I don't wanna talk about it."

Renjun snapped out of that crimson-tinted lens and focused on the present—you, who was more important than whoever had done this to you. He would deal with that later once he'd made sure you were properly taken care of. 

"That's okay," he whispered. "What can I do to help you, hm? Want me to clean you up?"

You nodded, bottom lip trembling so bad. "Just—just want you." 

Renjun's heart palpitated in his chest and he cupped the back of your head to press you against his chest. "Oh, baby," he cooed softly, delicately. "I love you so much, my love. You've been so strong, hm." 

He slowly rocked you in his hold like a soothing slow dance. You clung so tightly to him, fists clenching the fabric of his jacket as your body shook with quiet sobs. 

He just wanted to make you feel safe again; your bullies be damned. 

Renjun helped you to sit on the ledge of your counter while he stood between your legs to patch you up. Once the scratches and bruises were dealt with, he gently pulled your hair out of its braid and combed a hand through the locks. His touch was always delicate, always thoughtful. 

"You know I love you, right?" He asked you later when he had tucked you under the covers of your bed with him. Your legs were tangled together beneath the blanket, one of his arms draped around your waist and the other holding your hand. 

You made a small noise of acknowledgement. Your good cheek was smooshed against his chest, nose inhaling the comforting smell of his cologne. "Mm… I love you, too, Jun. Thank you."

He smiled. "For what?"

"For coming to find me," you mumbled. 

Your eyes were closed now and he suspected you were on the cusp of sleep. He smoothed a hand over your hair. "I will always find you, Yn. You know that no matter what, they can't tear us apart, right?" 

You hummed. "Do you ever feel like what they say is true though?" Your mind was a little loopy from drowsiness, but you felt him tense. 

Renjun sighed above you. "Honestly? Sometimes. But only because I wonder how someone as incredible as you would ever lower your standards—"

"I would never lower my standards, Huang Renjun," you cut in, then smiled up at him, shifting. "You managed to pass the bar."

He grinned down at you, leaning down to kiss your lips. "Mm, is that so?"

"Only by a little though."

He laughed at this. "Maybe they're right. We're not perfect, but we can be perfect for each other." He tapped the tip of your nose, cringing. "That was the corniest thing I have ever said."

You giggled, and the sound made butterflies arouse in his stomach. He hoped he could always make you sound like that. "As long as you don't get cornier."

"Then what? I go back under the bar?"

"Yeah." You leaned up and kissed his cheek. "But don't worry; you have a bit of leeway."

nct m.list

permanent taglist: @tayunji @im-a-big-mess @staysstrays @y3jiishot @crazywittysassy @seomisaho @stopeatread @enhacolor @yedammi @rnjfy @jaehunny1428 @johlee @justanotherkpopstanlol @frickyratz @liamsholygrail @w3bqrl @got-sum-badhabits @ana-is-losing-her-mind @smolpeyy @hibernatinghamster @babyksworld @otchae @bigballsz @luv4vernon @shakalakaboomboo @thesunsfullmoon @neowritingsnet

[the-bafflement-of-scotland-yard]

Hello lofe, thank you for being an angel to us all <3

Talk to me about both CeeDee and Electraboose, just go wild and crazy 💪 Fave pictures, hc's, actors, you name it

hrnnnggg thanks lofe 🥺

I am now very soft for Dinah just picking up her Cee cause he weighs next to nothing and she can easily do it, just randomly rolling up to him and plucking him from the ground like

When they greet each other after work they would sprint towards each other and she'd jump into his arms like she used to do with Greaseball, but poor lil Cee is a weak macaroni and he would just go down with her. Elaborate constructions were thought out, most of them including him bracing himself with Dustin directly behind him so he wouldn't be able to fall backwards from the force, but he could still only hold her for like three seconds before his lil legs gave out

But eventually she found out that he was literally light as a feather and then they turned it around, him jumping in her arms as a greeting instead, and it works much better 😌

for Electraboose imma just add some of my favourite gifs because hrnnggg look how they catch him 🥺

And then that gay little head tilt and that SMILE and the ARM and there is no heterosexual explanation for this hrnnggg

the synchronisation ;-;

the trust fall 🥺 it isn't even that much of a trust fall cause C.B. totally wouldn't care about faceplanting into the ground, but still

[shanti-ashant-hai]

Aapse na woh favourite cousin wali feeling aati hai. Like who I can about my rotten love lofe level. Aur let's go to Goa together types.

aww thank you so much anon <3

[chateautae]

Hey Sammy 💜 I hope you’ve been doing well! I’ve been having a hard time lately and just haven’t been feeling like myself. Feeling really down and I can’t pinpoint why. Life, man. I read HTH 3 and it was such a good escape for me. So thank you so much for that, Sammy. You are always such a bright light. I’ve felt a bit better for today at least because of comeback and I got my album delivered this afternoon and I pulled Tae and sat down and sobbed. Anyway, thought I’d check in. ❤️,🦤

Awh my lofe :(( I wass acc thinking about you the other day and I'm so sad to hear thing's haven't been well, I'm sincerely hope things get brighter!! I totally get you babes, life is just so stressful at times I swear I'm on the verge of cracking and bangtan are the only people keeping me at it 😭 I'm so so honoured to hear that my writing could help you escape loves, that's all I've ever wanted to do. AND AHH OMFG TAE BABY CAME HOME TO YOU IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!! My albums are coming from weverse and I refuse to buy any albums in-person because I'm already broke and DO NOT NEED TO BE BROKE AGAIN FFS DNWOJDAI. Thank you for checking in on me bubs, you're always welcomed here ♥

[sukirichi]

[ BROKEN RECORDS ; asks ] 

💌 — love letter from @kyriaan​

from track 007. 

Okay okay im still kinda meh'ish' but i really wanted to answer you so 😭 ill try to compile both my answer to your answer on my love letter and my hyped review on track 7 <3 so yeah another long ass rant from me 😩💕Suki... Suki pls I totally forgot Tsumu had a crush on us Suki... And then poor Tsumu ir there sulking cause he still likes u- JFBFBDVDVSJCHDHSIA omfg i wanted so much to hug him my baby I like him so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and he was trying so hard to behave while just sitting there sad fhfhfvbbshsjfhbdjaofhffhsoshd TSUMU YOU'RE STILL IN MY TOP 3 BABY 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂 

And then you throw the whole dancing scene with suna and I dont know whos on my top 3 anymore 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 SUKIIIIIIII THAT SCENE ALONE GJGJBFBSJCNFNKSOSNF OMFG IM FALLING SO HARD FOR SUNA I THINK? I think my top 3 had 4 dudes in it cause 3rd place has Suna and Atsumu tied?? Hfhfbfbfhdhsja I CANT PICK?? BUT BUT I WAS FEELING STUPIDLY DOWN WHEN READING THAT AND THAT SCENE ALONE MADE ME FEEL SO SOFT IT WAS SO CUTE AND OMG IF SUNA DID THAT TO ME I WOULD DROP ON MY KNEES AND ASK HIM TO MARRY ME CAUSE OMFGGGFFFF DUDE EVEN WENT AHEAD AND SAID THAT WHOLE 'HES GOING TO BE ONE LUCKY GUY'

Oh shit im crying again that scene lets me emotional 😭😭😭😭 someone get me a sunrin irl pls

Anyways the way that suna knows y/n is just.... FUCKING END UP TOGETHER ALREADY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST JBVSHSJBEHSISJ

Also how powerful are we?? HOW FUCKING POWERFUL ARE WE TO SCORE SUNA KITA AND TSUMU?? ARE YOU GONNA TELL. ME IF OIKAWA MOFO TOORU APPEARED HE WOULD ALSO BE ON HIS KNEES FOR US?? (okay no wait... No nooo i would legit drop anyones ass for tooru hes that powerful for me like sorry suna was fun but TOORU)

Yo nah but the whole Kita sex scene- let me breath bestie LET ME BREATH CAUSE I WAS HOT BUT AT SAME TIME I WAS FEELING GUILTY 😂😂😂😂 ESPECIALLY WHEN HE WAS FEELING DISAPPOINTED NEXT DAY LIKE KITA PLS BABY WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING?? 😬😬😬😬 But at same time his 'ill fuck the thought of him out of you tonight' I ALMOST MOANED YASSSSS TELL ME DADDY HOLY SHITTTTT

👀👀👀👀 Still not a kita simp ✌️✌️🤏✌️

Okay Kita deserves the best tho I mean okay he went there as a y/n mom's plan but he did ended up helping alot... Especially cause he knows no matter what y/n heart will always be suna's and pls give Kita the best ending possible cause he deserves someone who will trully love him and show him the world cause mah boy deserves it

*breaths in breaths out* i hated this scene- not in a bad way but shit i hate rejections... To the point im kinda afraid of confessing now cause i despise the feeling of being rejected... The best i can descrive it it like this coldness in your chest that descends your whole body and then you feel frozen in place.. Thats how it feels for me I hate it I absolutely despise it- its also the feeling i have when in a really bad situation and ugh...

The suna part made. Me feel this no matter how many times i reread it the feeling doesnt lessen it keeps being there cause (okay you probably are tired already of me saying this but) Suki I feel like I cant put it in words how much of a fucking good of a writer you are. Ill go ahead and say you are by far my favorite writer the fact i always feel so engaged and the fact i always feel like im there its just- it blows my mind.

I felt like suna was personally rejecting me and i hated it- i swear the moment he said prove it I almost screamed HOW? My brain had to take a moment to just slap me and say: 'kya you reading this is not happening chill-' cause i was already sobbing uncontrollably... I even whimpered the dont leave me 😬 my sadass went to bed feeling so sad thanks to suna... Man i wanted so much to hug him and i swear i would give him as much love as he gave y/n cause well i kin suna alot in this series cause im like that im a giver i treat others the way i would like to be treated (reason why ive been down lately ✌️) and i cant blame suna for finally setting boundaries- his call tho 'do i not stand a chance with you anymore y/n? Are you really not capable of falling in love with me?".... Oh suna... We are in love with you.. We always were we're just fucking stupid 😩

Also mari pls go jump off a cliff <3 youre in need dear cause sleeping with other man just to separate suna and y/n <3 i want so much to punch her 🙂🙃

Now for the love letter part (im so sorry for this being so long ✌️)

You said that if we asked suna he woukd say that he genuinely loved mari okay... Ill go ahead and say yes he liked mari he even learned how to love her and he genuinely cared for her BUT and heres where my personal view comes in so maybe ill be biased here still for me that was just a he loves her as in he cares you also love your friends and care for them but he didnt love her- and by this I mean- he could never be fully committed for her. Yes he loved her and he felt happy with her but like track 7 proved everything he would do in the back of his mind was y/n he deeply wished Mari was her and for that he just loved Mari cause he learned how to care about her- but he never forgot who he trully was in love it. Also the happiness he experienced with Mari was pretty much the one I experienced the bliss of having someone there and that bliss also made suna turn a blind eye to all the red flags from Mari cause to him all the jealousy meant she cared and thats toxic but suna was so desperate for some sort of 'she cares' that even all the possessiveness was bliss for him... And that makes my heart clench for suna...

'suna had to put an effort for the relationship' and saddly i feel like mari didnt... Mari didnt care mari was there because she was a fangirl of suna and got lucky, the way she just discarded him so effortlessly that proved-screamed how much she loved him- she didnt. She was just possessive over him she liked the whole 'hes mine' dynamic and suna was the perfect boyfriend cause he was giving her the world... What he wanted someone to do for him.

Also yeah suna and y/n might have been spurred from them being fuck buddies but well love doesnt really have an agenda- they just clicked, understood each other and had chemistry yeah they had tons and tons of sex but feelings started not because of sex but thanks to their deep connection... Also that dsncing scene in track 7 that alone spoke for their whole relationship- that alone is enough to defend their feelings for each other- yes it might jave started just as fuck buddies but ended up in them loving each other deeply and that is enough love after all doesnt need a perfect start. It can start out of the most stupid ways.

You said life with excitement and fun wouldn't be permanent or real.. Honestly i think it could be.. Cause i mean when you love someone that deeply your life always feels exciting even with the littlest things and that the purest kind of love. Even just going for a walk at the beach would be fun for them or even staying up watching movies i believe suna and y/n would always find a way to make their lofe exciting without much effort.

Also it kinda makes me. Sad when i see some anon saying that y/n and suna relationship are toxic? It makes me. Confused maybe because I was in such extremely toxic one (girl i sweat if you search for toxic relationship my ex's face will be there as an example 🙄) that Mari to me screams toxic! Possessive, manipulative, jealous and a few more if I think closely about it while with y/n and suna they are just two idiots that are hurting each other cause they're just that: idiots one that is afraid to get hurt and the other that keeps hoping- dont get me wrong what they're doing is not healthy but i dont find it toxic honestly

Sorry for the extreme long rant 8D I tried to keep it short but you always make me so hyped to talk about your works 😩

Hfbfbfhfhfieia

[ from saeren ]

NAHHH CUZ I LOVE TSUMU SO MUCH HERE HE WAS SO PRECIOUS. I didn’t write too much about them in college but Atsumu was so cute when he crushed on YN. he was always sending her memes and cute texts like “have you eaten” “good morning” and she’d feel so awkward because she doesn’t know how to let him down easy without hurting him. either way tsumu would feel hurt. AND YES PLS HE WAS SO SAD I MEAN, HIS CRUSH AND HIS BEST FRIEND NEARLY HAD SEX RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM SO THAT’S GOING TO HURT

SUNA AND ATSUMU TIED?? tbh I loved that dancing scene bcos suna is one of my faves and I really wanna do that with him hehehhehe. NAHHH PLEASE SAME IF SUNA DANCED WITH ME AND MADE A WEDDING PLAYLIST I’D BE LIKE boy what’re u waiting for let’s get married now !! n yes he said whoever YN will choose in the future will be one lucky guy IM SOBBING RN

naur cuz. there���s something about dating your best friend. I’m not saying a boyfriend wouldn’t know you as well but there’s something different when you’re best friends first. they could literally share eye contact and have a long ass conversation just from that. their connection is different.

HAJKALA AS FOR THE POWER, BR! YN IS A VERY CHARISMATIC AND FRIENDLY PERSON !! she’s like one of those people you meet that not only are they attractive as hell, but they’re also super approachable and down to earth. that’s why she’s so popular + she’s flirty and can make a stranger feel welcome or comfortable in the first meeting. SGSHJAK I WAS ACTUALLY PLANNING TO ADD OIKAWA HERE BUT I WANNA MAKE IT MORE INARIZAKI CENTRED

the seggs scene with kita SOBSSSS he’s such a soft dom IDC he knows where the clit is, he knows how to hit it. he’s a “your pleasure first before mine” type of guy. kita is perfect, PERIODT. HE GIVES DADDY VIBES HUH AHSKAA HE’S SO SWEET YET SEXY IM IN LOVE WITH HIM ISTG IF SUNA WASN’T OUR BEST FRIEND THEN I’D RUN FOR KITA ALL THE TIME. and I agree, kita deserves the best !! and don’t worry, I actually plan on giving kita the best ending, I promise you he’ll be fine (slight spoiler there)

 YESSSSS OMG I’VE BEEN REJECTED BEFORE AND THAT’S EXACTLY HOW I FELT, MY BODY WAS SO COLD AND I WAS SO CONFUSED LIKE IT MAKES YOU THINK. am I not good enough, did I do something wrong, do you not wanna give me a chance or try it out but ofc I’d never say that out loud. AND KYAAA AAAH IM YOUR FAVORITE WRITER??? NO CUZ YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY. I remember ur asks way back reckless era and you used to tell me that my writing made you picture the scenes easily and you felt you were there in that moment and I’m just so grateful thank you so much <33

NO BCOS WHEN SUNA SAID “prove it” I was like. this is it. that’s his hot boy shit moment. man’s has had enough of being thrown from one toxic relationship to another and he also deserves his good moments yknow. and you kin suna here?? BESTIE IM SORRY TO HEAR THAT, SUNA’S BEEN THROUGH A LOT HERE AHSJAKA. that’s true about suna tho !! he’s definitely affectionate + a giver. he’s happy being the one who gives most of the time but he’s a human as well, ofc he’d want to receive the same amount of love back. ALSO HIS PHONE CALLLLLL ugh tbh that part was the one that made me the saddest bcos he’s just. he wants to know if there’s really no more chance. all this time he never gave up. but he’s also tired so if yn says ‘no more’ then he’ll give up. its his way of respecting himself too ahsjaka

YOOOOO I AGREE WITH THAT. he cares for mari as a person but not 100% as a lover. but ofc he’s still thankful for how happy she made him because she was there at his worst. and that’s true, deep down suna still wishes that it was YN who’s right beside him. he will always ALWAYS want her back. he learned how to love mari in a way that was more out of mutual care but not in the way he loves YN. no that’s reserved only for YN – she will remain no 1 in his heart. AND YESSSSS the reason why suna overlooked the red flags was bcos to him, its something that was supposed to be “normal” like no perfect partner existed. he thought mari’s attitude of pushing YN away was normal, and its normal to want your partner’s best friend keep some distance but not to the point of mari’s place where she literally wants the two of them to cut each other out of their lives.

and aww I’m so happy that you realized how I wanted to portray suna and yn’s relationship. they’re….like the definition of youth in its freest form. they were fucking around and doing stupid things, but they had a connection. they had something deeper than just sexual intimacy. even if they never dated or even if YN never proposed the idea of it, they would’ve actually been still great friends. and oooh I actually don’t remember saying life with excitement and fun wouldn’t be real HAHAHAHA so I can’t comment further on that. but I think when I ‘said’ those I probably meant that it’s not always going to be all rainbows and unicorns in a relationship. there’s no such thing as a relationship that’s always happy and sweet 24/7, but ofc it can be sweet and it can be pure even with the little things <33 they just need to work on it.

hmmm tbhhhh… suna and yn are toxic in a way that they refuse to let each other go when they clearly can’t meet halfway. toxic doesn’t have to be limited in just being mari-like in which they are possessive or manipulative, because then if we’d drive deeper into yn’s personality, then she’d be stringing suna all along and that’s unfair of her. she knows suna wants more and yet she remained being friends with him, which totally isn’t a bad thing, but it’s because she keeps flirting with him and is so romantically comfortable with him that she doesn’t realize it’s hurting suna because he’ll give double meanings to that. their relationship is ‘toxic’ because they’re not entirely good for each other, they’re not that ready to be with one another yet and neither is the world letting them be in peace, so forcing their relationship to a point they’re hurting another is the toxic part.

[ from @kyriaan ]

Ah also not me feeling all proud and mushy cause my analysis made you mind blown fjfbdnsjdkpa 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I guess its also because i see this story as a really big mirror of my own toxic relationship sonits extremely easy for me to get it... And oh boy the way i kin suna here

But dhdhfjdospdhfbsoa 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i feel happy now *huggles*

[ from saeren ] 

and aah yes ofc, I’m really happy whenever someone can see the underlying details I scatter throughout the story !! yeah omg same hahahaha broken records is also half inspired by the toxic people I’ve met. I kin kita here tho and I’m so glad you’re happier now !!

[kiwi-stan]

Crave

Description: AU Harry’s a struggling songwriter until a song about being in lofe with his best friend puts him on the map. My contribution to the pick your poison challenge that @oh-honey-styles​ @for-fucks-sake-h​ and @andwhenshesays​ organized. I haven’t written in so long but this has been a fun way to get back into it now that I have more downtime!

Warnings: None aside from me taking liberties with the process of how writing a song actually works 

Harry’s family had thought he was insane for dropping out of university and moving to LA to try songwriting professionally. And a few years in, he was starting to think that they were right. He hadn’t expected to start working with big names right away, but after two years, he had been hoping to move beyond indie artists who had about a thousand monthly listeners on Spotify. Songwriting was his dream. He loved music, loved creating it, but didn’t want the fame. The inability to step outside without being recognized, the scrutiny, the media attention. He wanted to stay behind the scenes. But he was beginning to think about packing it up, moving back home, and finishing his college degree and getting some boring office job. Until you called and announced that you had found a job in LA after graduating and would be moving. 

You’d been Harry’s best friend since you were both small, when some little boy knocked you off the monkey bars at the park and Harry’s protective instincts-already sharp even back then-had rushed over to check if you were okay. There had been a few awkward years in middle school, when he’d been teased by friends for having a girl friend who wasn’t a girlfriend, but that had resolved itself during a very awkward party where you’d played seven minutes together and had mutually agreed that kissing each other was too weird. Aside from that, your friendship had been solid all throughout school, and had even weathered Harry moving to LA. In fact, you were one of the few people from his hometown that he’d kept in contact with. His parents had cut off contact (and financial support) when he’d dropped out of school without warning, and his emails with his sister were infrequent as she was trying to keep up a positive relationship with their parents. He didn’t really have any LA friends either, a few casual acquaintances but no one who he felt like he could really talk to. 

On the day that you arrived, Harry drove to the airport to pick you up. By the time he navigated traffic and dealt with the nightmare of parking at LAX, it was nearly an hour after your flight had landed and half an hour after you’d sent a text saying that you’d claimed your bags. As he entered the terminal, he was worried that you would be angry about him being late. You never were the type to get annoyed about little things like that and from your video chats you didn’t seem to have changed all that much, but two years was a long time and it could bring about a lot of change in a person. He glanced around the room, full of happy reunions and stressed out men in suits setting out on business trips, when he finally spotted you, nestled in a corner and perched on your suitcase. It was like something out of a movie, how you looked up from your phone just as he spotted you, the two of you locked eyes, and you sprang to your feet and ran toward him, throwing your arms around him in an enthusiastic hug and squealing “Harry”. 

“Sorry I’m late.” There were so many things he wanted to say to you, how much he missed you, how happy he was that you were moving, stories he hadn’t wanted to tell over FaceTime. But for some reason, an apology was the first thing that popped out of his mouth. “Traffic was horrible then I had to park…” 

You pulled away from him to wave a hand, dismissing his apology and Harry got his first real look at you. He’d noticed from your Facetime chats that you’d changed your hair to a shorter style and that you’d started wearing more makeup, both choices that were probably seen as “more professional”. Otherwise, you looked about the same, but seeing you in person he noticed that there was a difference in the way you carried yourself. You seemed older, more mature, with the kind of confidence that he assumed came from graduating college and moving across the country on your own. He wondered if he had the same aura around him. “I missed you.” You said, picking up your suitcase and dragging Harry away from his thoughts. “And I cannot thank you enough for letting me stay with you.” You’d explained over FaceTime that the job you’d been offered had wanted you to start right away, not even considering that you would need time to deal with the logistics of moving or finding a place to live. Lucky for you, Harry had stepped in. 

“I missed you too,” Harry took your suitcase from you, dragging it behind him and tugging it toward the exit. “And don’t say that until you see my place.” 

******* 

You’d been worried that things with Harry would have changed in the two years that he’d been gone. But as he took the long drive back to his apartment, you slipped right back into your old friendship, joking and swapping stories. You updated him about what all of your old high school friends were up to and he told you stories about all the weird LA types that he’d met. You’d never admit this, but you’d been worried that he might have turned into one of them since he left, burning sage and displaying an unhealthy obsession posting to Instagram. He seemed like his old self in texts and on your video chats, but you had thought he might be hiding that part of him. You were relieved to see that Harry was still his old self. However, a new set of worries about Harry sprouted as he turned into his neighborhood. 

Harry had alluded to money troubles while you’d been apart, so you had known that he wasn’t living in Beverly Hills. However, you also weren’t really expecting dark streets, abandoned buildings, and liquor stores with bars over the windows. Harry parked outside a seedy looking building and led you up to his apartment, which was the size of a shoebox and overwhelmed with cardboard boxes full of your things. He’d been nice enough to tell you to ship some of your things to his address, though he hadn’t mentioned how tiny his apartment was. By the time Harry had cleared everything off the futon so you could sleep, you’d seen three roaches scurry across the floor and you’d made your mind up. 

“Once I find a place you’re moving in with me.” Harry opened his mouth to protest, but you held firm. “Don’t argue. Why didn’t you tell me you were living in a shithole?” You glanced around the small space and another problem occurred to you. “Where exactly are you planning to sleep?” 

“The floor I guess,” He said, gesturing to the sliver of space near the lone window that wasn’t occupied by furniture or boxes. 

You shook your head, thinking back to the roaches you’d seen and the shag carpet that probably hadn’t been cleaned since the 70s. “No way. You’re sleeping with me. It’s not like we haven’t done it before.” It might feel a little strange after your time apart, but back before he dropped out Harry had slept in your tiny twin bed in your dorm room tons of times, sometimes because he’d had a fight with his roommate, sometimes because he was drunk and your room was closer, and sometimes just because he was lonely. You couldn’t even count the number of times you and Harry had slept together platonically. However, a few hours later, when you finally nestled under the covers together-with Harry’s body pressed up against yours, he was big on cuddling (and the small bed didn’t leave you much room to spread out anyway)-you found yourself wondering why something felt different. 

***********

Harry started writing a song that night, about being in love with your best friend. He didn’t have the whole thing right away, which wasn’t usually how he wrote. Usually inspiration came fast, and he could write a whole song in the burst of manic energy he got when it struck. The chorus came that first night when you slept together, about you pressed up against him in a city full of dark alleys. 

The rest came to him slowly over the next few months, as you started your job and found a slightly better apartment to live in. With your entry level salary it wasn’t anything fancy, but it was in an area that made you feel safer and had two bedrooms, though Harry found that he slept worse without you near him and spent many nights tossing and turning before finally falling into a fitful sleep around 3 AM. 

Though you’d been basically joined at the hip since you were young, you and Harry hadn’t shared space like this before. The apartment was still small, which meant that you and Harry were still constantly tripping over each other. Harry had thought it might be annoying, and had even worried that it would fracture your friendship, but it hadn’t. Living together seemed almost natural for the two of you. It meant that he could hear you singing when you came home from work, which meant that you had a good day and would be in the mood to cook something elaborate for dinner, or when you slammed the front door and he knew that you’d had a bad day and that he should order your favorite take out. He found your bobby pins all over the bathroom floor, he sat and watched The Bachelor with you on Monday nights, and he stole your fuzzy socks as the nights started getting cooler. Harry worked on his song while you were at work when he wasn’t at writing sessions for other people, and by the time he finished he felt that it was the best thing he’d ever written. 

Harry knew exactly why the song (currently cryptically titled with an anagram of your name) was the best of anything he’d written so far. Typically he used a lot of creative license when he wrote, writing about things that happened to him long ago, about things that happened to friends of his, about completely made up scenarios, or anything that inspired him really. But he never really wrote about his own life. This was the first time, and it was his first song to really come from the heart. 

After finally perfecting the song, Harry recorded a quick demo on his phone, then sent it off to Jeff, a big-name record producer he’d met a few months back. They’d met during a recording session for some pink-haired indie singer. Though Jeff hadn’t really liked the indie girl and her bananies-and-avacadies voice as he’d joked to Harry, he’d liked Harry’s writing style a lot. He’d slipped Harry his phone number and had told him to send along some of his strongest work. Harry had come close to sending a few things before, but had chickened out at the last minute. Nothing he’d done before was his strongest work, and he knew that. The song about you, he felt good enough to send. 

Harry finally worked up the courage to press the send button during one of his sleepless nights. He hoped that Jeff hadn’t deleted his number, or if he had that he would be willing to listen to a voice message from a random stranger. Since it was nearly 1 am, he was surprised to get a message back almost immediately. Love it Harry. Let’s talk.  Followed by a meeting time and location. 

******* 

A few weeks later, you arrived home (you had been surprised at how quickly you came to think of your new apartment in a new city as “home”, but you came to the conclusion that it was all because Harry was there) to Harry humming a song you didn’t recognize as he cleaned the apartment. He looked up when he saw you, dropping the broom and drawing you into a hug. “Hey!” He swayed you back and forth a few times as he held you. You had forgotten that little tic of his, but the motion reminded you of how much you loved it. It always made you feel safe and comforted, probably because it replicated the motion of a mother rocking a baby. And it was something Harry only did when he was really happy. 

“What happened?” You asked once he let you go. Harry hadn’t seemed sad exactly, but you’d had the feeling that being isolated from his family and under almost constant money and career stress were starting to get to him. You hadn’t seen him happy like this since you were in college together and he aced a difficult Music Theory final. 

“I think we should go out tonight. Somewhere nice-ish.” 

This piqued your interest even more. Even combining your incomes, you still weren’t really on a going-out-regularly-in-LA budget. Something had happened. Something big. “Harry, tell me what’s going on.” 

“I wrote a song a few weeks ago and The Heartbreakers want it.” 

Your jaw dropped at the mention of the group who had shot to fame almost overnight a few years ago after one of their songs went viral on SoundCloud. Unlike some other indie groups that had scored mainstream hits and had faded to irrelevancy after a few weeks, The Heartbreakers had hired a good management team and were able to capitalize on the hit to become one of the biggest groups on the planet. “Harry, that’s amazing!” You threw your arms around him again. “But how? What? I didn’t even think you knew them? And I thought they wrote all their own stuff?” 

Harry pulled back enough to look at you and gave a little laugh at all of your questions. His hands stayed around your waist, your arms around his neck. “That’s what they say. They use ghostwriters basically. I had to sign an NDA and got an advance that’s basically hush money.” You frowned, not really liking the thought that Harry wasn’t going to get any credit for his work. “Hey no, that’s just how it works sometimes,” He added, noticing your facial expression. “The music industry isn’t pretty. I knew that going in and I kind of expected it. Producers and other writers have their own kind of underworld. The important people will know that I wrote it. This will lead to more big stuff for me. I know. I wouldn’t have given the song away if I didn’t.” 

Noticing that you still didn’t look happy, Harry was quick to change the subject. “As for how, I don’t know them. At all. It all went through this producer, Jeff, that I met a few months back. He wanted to hear some of my stuff, but nothing ever seemed good enough until I wrote this song. I sent it to him, he loved it and thought it would work with their sound. He took it to them and they wanted it. I’ve never even met them.” 

“Will you get to?” You said, thinking that you would at least want to shake someone’s hand before handing off a piece of art that you created to them and letting them act like it was theirs. 

Harry nodded. “I have to go in for a writing session and be there while they record in case they want to make any tweaks. Which they probably will. Change a word, get a third and all that.” Your frown returned at the mention of the unfair way that royalties were distributed. Harry noticed. “But this will still be really big for me. It’s the right move. I know.” 

You studied him for a moment, looking for any sign of hesitation. “I trust you.” Realizing that you’d been holding each other for an awkward amount of time, and that it felt surprisingly good to have your best friend holding you, his big hands solid at your waist and your fingers toying with the curls at the back of his neck, you stepped away. “I’d love to hear it. Do you have a recording yet?” Harry looked alarmed. “What? Has the NDA got you scared?” You teased. Harry could be shy about sharing his work, but he’d always been open about it with you. He called you his guinea pig, you were often the first one to hear new songs. 

“I just wrote it a few weeks ago. I got really inspired seeing you again, I guess.” Harry said, suddenly seeming shy. 

“Harry that’s so sweet.” You asked, unable to keep the emotion out of your voice. No one had ever written or created anything for you before, and as far as you knew you hadn’t inspired anything either (aside from some crude messages in the boy’s locker room back in high school that Harry had taken a Sharpie to almost immediately after they popped up). 

“But I can’t play it for you. I don’t own it anymore. I already signed it over.” 

“Harry, we’re alone in our apartment. No one’s gonna know.” 

“I know, I know.” Harry picked up his broom and went back to his sweeping, obviously nervous. “It’s a little unpolished though.” 

“That never stopped you before.” Harry had played you things that were completely unfinished before, sometimes even when he just had a few chords together or two lines of lyrics. 

“I really think the Heartbreakers will do it better than me. I think the first time you hear it, it should be their version.” 

“At least tell me what it’s called.” 

“It doesn’t have a name,” Harry said a little too fast. “Or at least right now. When it actually gets released they’ll find something marketable, I’m sure. Do you want to go to a club tonight, or just dinner?” 

You accepted Harry’s abrupt change of subject and decided not to push it, but you spent the entire evening (both dinner and a club, Harry wanted to splurge since he knew his so-called hush money would be kicking in soon) wondering why Harry didn’t want you to hear the song. 

*********

“So,” Jeff began as the final recording session for the song, which had been renamed “Crave” wrapped up. The Heartbreakers had left for the day, and Harry and Jeff had hung back to do some final mixing. Harry didn’t really need to be there either, but Jeff wanted his approval on the final version of the song and he seemed happy for the company. “You never told me who this song is about.” 

“Who says it's about anyone?” Harry asked, trying not to sound harsh. Despite the fact that they’d been working closely together on Crave, they weren’t good enough friends where they could be quite so honest with each other. 

“Every song is about someone. Especially ones this heartfelt.” Jeff let the song play once through. The Heartbreakers had changed very little lyrically, adding a lyric to the chorus about craving the person the song was addressed to (which was where they’d drawn the title from). They’d changed a bit more when it came to the music itself, switching from the indie playing-in-a-coffeshop vibe that Harry had intended, to a rockier sound. Harry thought it sounded much better that way, it was something that he wouldn’t have tried with such a sweet song, and he knew that he’d made the right decision in signing the song away. As the final songs of the song drifted away, Jeff turned to Harry again. “So I’m guessing it’s a lady friend of yours from back in school and who you once played seven minutes in heaven with,” Jeff began, referencing the first verse of the song where Harry had written about first meeting you when you were kids. “Who you now find yourself in love with because she sings like a lark when she’s happy, leaves bobby pins all over the place, and makes you chocolate milkshakes when you’re sad.” 

Harry felt his cheeks heat up as Jeff named more details from elsewhere in the song, all things that pointed directly to your friendship with him. “My best friend from back in school. She just moved out here and we’ve been living together and...I don’t even really know what it is, if it was the time apart or if it’s different now that we’re older or because we’re living together. But yeah, I love her.” It was the first time Harry had said it out loud and it felt like a weight off his shoulders. 

“Have you told her yet?”

Harry shook his head. “I’m worried about ruining the friendship.” 

“Do you think she feels the same way?” 

Harry considered it, how you had let him hold you for far too long the night he first told you about selling the song, how you always made spinach for him as a side when you cooked even though you hated it, how much your hands brushed when he took you on tours of his favorite places in LA, if those were all just friendly gestures or if it meant something more. “Maybe? But she’s probably thinking the same thing about ruining the friendship.” Harry knew you well enough to know that you were a little too pragmatic sometimes when it came to relationships. 

“You should tell her.” Jeff regarded Harry with a serious look. “The second she hears the song she’s going to figure it out. The Heartbreaker’s last single was number one on the Billboard chart for six weeks and played on KIIS once an hour every day for a month after its release. You don’t want her finding out that her best friend is in love with her when she hears the song in Trader Joe’s. It’ll mean way more coming directly from you.” 

******* 

“Does this look okay? What do you even wear to a listening party anyway?” You asked, stepping in front of Harry and twirling around, letting him examine your dress. 

Harry gave you a quick once over. “What you’ve got on is fine. You look great.” 

The simple compliment sent a little rush of excitement through you, the saw way you felt when previous boyfriends had complimented you before you set out on a date. With you in your dress and Harry also dressed up, the two of you looked a bit like you were setting out on a proper date, but you stopped yourself from going down that line of thinking. There was no way to know if he felt the same way. You studied Harry instead, drinking in his slicked back hair, black shirt with the little white hearts on it, and black pants. Realizing that you were staring, you changed the subject. 

“You’re sure it’s okay if I come?” A listening party seemed like something so secret, something that only music industry people got to attend, like the parties the cool kids threw in high school. But Harry had seemed excited when he invited you along, even though he’d had to present you with an NDA at the same time and had told you not to bring your phone or it would be confiscated at the door. The listening party was for people from the label and was being held a few weeks before the official release of the single, and preventing leaks was essential, Harry had explained. 

Harry nodded. “Yeah. It’s gonna be real small. Just the band, some people from the label, me, and Jeff. All people who are already aware that they don’t write their own music.” Harry looked like there was something more he wanted to say, but instead he just pulled on his sport coat. “Ready?” 

Harry was quiet for the drive to the private club where the party was being held, letting one of his Spotify playlists play as he navigated LA’s busy streets. He didn’t speak until he found parking at the club. You reached for the door to exit the car, but froze when Harry said, “Wait.” You waited. Harry took a deep breath before speaking. “I just want you to know that the song is about you. I just want you to hear it, knowing that, and tell me what you think after.” 

You wanted to press for more information. That was incredibly vague, and if anything it just left you with more questions. But Harry was nervous enough, you could tell from the way he’d adjusted his hair several times during the drive and the fact that he was avoiding eye contact with you now. Not wanting to stress him out anymore, you decided not to push it. You leaned over to kiss him on the cheek, ignoring how natural it felt. Maybe it was just the dim lighting from the streets lights, but you could have sworn that Harry was blushing. “I’m sure I’ll love it. I mean, writing a song about me is already nicer than anything any of my ex-boyfriend have done.” You realized a few seconds too late that maybe comparing your best friend to your exes wasn’t the best move. “And everything else you’ve written has taken my breath away. I’m sure this won’t be any different.” You added, trying to cover the awkward moment. 

Harry turned to you, looking happier and more confident now. “Let’s go.” He walked around to your side of the car and opened the door for you, even taking your hand to help you out of the car. Because no LA party could really start without time for networking first, you spent the first part of the party following Harry around like a baby duckling as he made his rounds to talk to the band and the industry executives. You’d been a little worried that you would feel like a fish out of water, or worse that Harry would leave you by the bar and make the rounds on his own. Harry had never been the type to social climb, but you were fully aware of the fact that this was his biggest career opportunity yet, so you weren’t sure how he would react. But you were worried for nothing, because Harry kept you by his side the entire night, introduced you to everyone by name, and tried hard to include you in the conversation, even though you were so starstruck most of the night that you ended up feeling tongue tied. 

As someone from the label raised his voice to announce that they would be playing the song soon, Harry pulled you to a table and introduced you to Jeff. 

“Ah, the famous muse,” Jeff shook your hand before giving Harry a knowing look. “Harry’s told you about the song?” 

“Just that it’s about me. I haven’t heard it yet.” 

“You’re in for a treat.” He told you with a smile, shooting Harry another look. Before you had time to further ponder what was going on, a label executive's voice at the front of the room drew your attention as he introduced “Crave”. 

As the song played, you were blown away. Harry had written a beautiful song, and though you’d initially been worried about him giving the song away you had to admit that The Heartbreakers had done it justice. But what surprised you the most was that it was a love song, and every single word of the song pointed to you, to things you had Harry had done together or to your little idiosyncrasies. Harry loved you, and had for a while. 

As the final notes of the song faded away, Harry grabbed your hand and pulled you outside the club, clearly wanting whatever happened next to be just between the two of you. You stood bathed beneath a streetlight, with drunks exiting nearby clubs stumbling past you. “So, what’d you think?” Harry asked, smiling shyly at you. 

“Harry, I loved it. I love you.” You said, throwing your arms around him. Saying it felt so right, so natural, even though it was the first time you’d said those words to Harry. 

Harry slid his arms around you and pulled you closer to him. “I love you.” He said quietly, before he pressed his lips to yours for a kiss that had been a long time coming.