#thank you my best friend whizzer from my phone

[embright]

Saw a pin that was like "I'm an angel...ask me why". It made me think of you 💭

ohhh I'm honored! that's so neat

[lee-scribbles-and-doodles]

S2 ep5

I'm so pumped!

Asdfff Sam landing on Max and Bosco landing on him

Mr Featherly just knowing they're in the afterlife... because he studied the classics

Aw, Sam actually wants to help Bosco

Oh, a Moleman!

"Serving the finest vegans"

Oh hey, Harry is here

"Aw, cute Max. A little goth moleman."

Harry is death now.

Sam just got cat-called by a moleman

"Ooohee look who can fill out a suit." "Why I never!"

Max is too small to climb the ladder properly so ge has to jump up the rungs 🥺

"You can't see over the wheel, Max." "Facist."

The Desoto died!?

Featherly laid an egg??? Trans featherly???

Max and Sybil are gossip buddies🥰

Ew Sybil and Ave are getting married. 🤢 (Honey date the monster or Superball)

"Cake at a wedding? Ooookay."

Oh, Monster is having a rough time

Aw, Max offered to be the priest at the ceremony 💕 (Sybil declined but still)

Lol, Max has the wrong idea of what a shotgun wedding is.

I can kind of understand Sybil's apprehension at allowing the boys to be part of the ceremony tbh

Ghost Mama Bosco!?

She still looking fine as an old lady tho

She's still after Bosco for wrecking her store (although she still doesn't realize it was her own son)

Aw, she actually wants to see more of Bosco

Flint is still looking for Bosco

Aw, we can give the Ai to Jimmy

Oh no, it woke Maimtron up!

Did we just kill Timmy???

Oh hey, Past Sam. I knew that one cutscene was going to come back.

They sure are making a lot of hell freezing over jokes

Oof the tourette jokes are back. REALLY hope they get swapped out with new jokes in the remaster

Max's big kick before jumping down the manhole

Max landed on Sam's head

The Soul Train is actually cool looking

Jurgen!?

He's being so petty. Why would the boys save him when killed them???

Hugh Bliss!

He's just... staring... with his head on backwards...

"That a list of swear words!" (Proceeds to say every one and gets censored each time)

Brady Culture too. Is everyone here?

"I'm in hell, and I'm happy."

"--But none of that matters because I finally found someone who believes in me: Satan."

Oh hey, the big door had Sam and Msx art on it

Oh, Demon Sam and Max statues

Sam the devourer and Max the destroyer

Bosco's hell is being naked in front of others?

Santa is in hell!

The Desoto is in hell :(

Grandpa Stinky!

Aw, Sam wants to save them all

Sybil still does therapy?

Lol, we can make Bosco scare himself.

"See you around naked Bosco." "I don't think I'll ever stop seeing you." "Save me!"

Imma just take the laughing gas

Santa hates kids haha

Max is allergic to dogs?

The Desoto only goes like 6 mph and only honks :(

"I hope when we die, they put our hells close to each other." "It'll be like a sleepover that never ends!"

Boy it took me a bit to figure out the Santa and Elf puzzel

Let's move on to Stinky

So are Girl Stinky and Grandpa Stinky not related?

I got a book. I think that's all we can do for now until we get Timmy.

Satan won't even give the boys the time of day

Harry is looming over Timmy.

Have to distract him. I guess it's time to put the monster out if his misery.

I feel so bad 😥

Oh, poor Timmy

Welp, back to Stinky's hell

Sam using the karaoke machine 😳

Ok, saved Stinky's soul from internal damnation

Omg it took me way too long to figure out what to do with the laughing gas.

"Vamoose!" *fire's gun*

At least Basco and the Desoto are free

Satan just tricked Sam into trading his soul 😮

Max's ears drooping when he realizes Sam is gone 😭

Noooo! Not Peepers!

Sam's personal hell is a life without Max 👀

Sam's sad walk 😔

Leonard is in a hell closet

"Peepers said he was my partner." "What!? Nobody steals my sidekick!" "I always thought you were the sidekick." "Heh, sure Sam."

"Max, meet demon Peepers." "Oh, hi!" "Demon Peepers says he's my partner and best friend." *Max proceeds to kill demon Peepers*

Omg the Soda Poppers are Satan's bosses!?

Omg do I get to kill them now? Pls let me kill them!

They beat Brady to death!?

They've been planing their rise sins s1 ep1???

They're after the boys because of one bad birthday? What crybaby!

They're firing Satan!

Flint, Bosco, and Mama Bosco cutscene us everything.

Mama Bosco is gone :(

"I did wipe your windshield for you." "Oh, I er, must have left my change in my other suit! Max?" "I'm naked."

Satan's proud of the boys haha

The stripper is the monster

All the men are into it. They're all gay, bi, or pan now you can't change my mind.

Bosco likes to be nude apparently

Mr Featherly doesn't have his vest on!

Abe, you really aren't winning me over

Oh, Timmy is a Poppers fan. Poor child has no taste.

Let's steal Satan's stufg

Let's mess with Hugh

"I hope I won't have to bend over provokedly to--" "That's enough, Max."

Oh wait, I didn't check on Sybil

Ew, Peepers is seducing Sybil.

"I hate to say, but Peepers is kind of sexy." "Ha, if you're into short guys with annoying voices!" 👀👀👀 Max, you just described yourself

Dick Peacock!?

Yay, we saved Sybil!

Whizzer is trying to make Girl Stinky eat the forbidden fruit

Grandpa Stinky is alive!

Awe, the Stinky's are a surrogate family

Culinary dark arts

Oh, that's what the baby book is for.

She's a cake!!!

Aw, Grandpa is upset he turned her into a cake

Oh, I think we were suppose to do the Stinky puzzel before the Sybil one.

Specs is trying to win the C.O.P.S. souls?

Ok, figured out how to save Chippy

Hell yeah, Chippy rocks!

Specs didn't give him the golden fiddle! What a rip!

Ok, time to help the Stinky's! Let's get the boys drunk!!!

Poor Monster 😞

Drunk Abe is showing remorse

Yay! Girl Stinky is back!

Of course we can't just give hell back. Poppers gotta make it difficult

Welp, down into the pits or he'll we go.

Oh hey, the sleigh. Yay for tome travel

We made hell freeze over!

Sam letting Max pick up the phone because they froze he'll over 🥺

Sybil decided to let Max officiate ❤

Oh! I see what we have to do

The Miriachi!

By Popper fucks!

To the wedding!

Still wish she were with Superball

Aw, Sybil looks good in her dress

"Hundred bucks say they don't last three months." Thanks Flint

Max stole the flowers 👀👀👀 Him and Sam gonna get married. That's the only option

Leonard!

Aw, the boys let Abe and Sybil take the car ❤

[whizzer-fashion]

Iced Vanilla Latte With Two Pumps Of Caramel

AO3 LINK

Even though Marvin always acted as though he hated his job and would never turn down an opportunity to rant about it, he had to admit, at least to himself, that it was quite nice most of the time. There weren't that many people most of the time, and even when there was it wasn't as bad as he made it sound. He used most of the time to talk to his two best friends Trina and Charlotte and do homework.

So yeah if he was honest with himself he had a pretty great job, just not today…

He was looking at the boy putting down his tote bag while smiling big at the girl with the big curls he often came in with.

He had thought for a long time that they were together until he had heard the guy or “Whizzer” as he got scribbled on his large vanilla ice-coffee with two pumps of caramel, complain about some guy “cof boy” oblivious being straight.

Even though Marvin always acted as though he hated his job and would never turn down an opportunity to rant about it, he had to admit, at least to himself, that it was quite nice most of the time.

There weren't that many people most of the time, and even when there was it wasn't as bad as he made it sound.

He used most of the time to talk to his two best friends Trina and Charlotte and do homework. 

So yeah if he was honest with himself he had a pretty great job, just not today…

He was looking at the boy putting down his tote bag while smiling big at the girl with the big curls he often came in with.

He had thought for a long time that they were together until he had heard the guy or “ Whizzer ” as he got scribbled on his large vanilla ice-coffee with two pumps of caramel, complain about some guy “cof boy” oblivious being straight. 

Whizzer, it had to be a fake name right? 

A nickname or just a name that he gave to places like this to get a laugh?

No parent in their right mind would name their child after a cartoon sound, right?

Yeah, Marvin had a lot of questions this early February morning. 

But the most pressing one was WHAT THE FUCK WAS WHIZZER DOING AT THE COFFEE SHOP TODAY!? 

The pretty, tall boy with the gorgeous hair and the most adorable smile in probably the whole world, never came in here on weekdays he came in once a week, every Sunday morning at 7:45 am. 

Of course, Marvin didn't have a problem with this, that would be completely ridiculous. The guy was just a customer, nothing more, he was certainly not the only good thing with the early Sunday shift that he was permanently assigned, and he was certainly not Marvins type, ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Okay so maybe this was a problem, he normally spent the whole morning before he arrived preparing himself for Whizzer to walk through those doors.

Whizzer shook his head at the girl while laughing before walking up to the register, Marvin was still spellbound by the sound of his laugh when he reached him. 

“Hi, How may I help you today?” they didn't actually have to say stuff like that to the customer, but it helped him when talking to Whizzer, Charlotte gave him a weird look, she doesn’t have the Sunday opening shift and wasn’t used to seeing him like this.

“Hi” queue that adorably smile “can I get a large Iced vanilla latte with two pumps of caramel and a medium normal caramel latte for Whizzer? Thank you.” Marvin thought that he could have asked for the moon and Marvin would probably have gotten it for him if just he promised to smile at him like that again. Not that he had stoped that was the thing with Whizzer he never seemed to stop smiling at Marvin he probably never stopped smiling at anyone but that included Marvin and he was eternally grateful for that.

“Of course that will be 11 dollars” Marvin could reenact this interaction in his sleep, he had thought enough about this small interaction to have had it memorized for about 2 months now. 

Whizzer swiped his card, dug his hands down into his jacket pocket, fished some pocket change out and dumped them into the tip jar, gave an extra smile before he turned around and found his way back to his friend.

Marv again tried to convince himself that he was fine with Whizzer being here a day when he wasn’t supposed to and began scribbling down the orders on the cups, not that he needed to he could with ease remember them at this point, but it wouldn’t hurt to keep the elusion for Whizzer.

he was supposed to pass the cups on to Charlotte but she was doing homework and there weren’t any other customers than Whizzer and Cor-something, he hadn’t been as captivated by her. She was pretty even Marvin could see that, but he had probably been a little distracted by her friend.

He looked over at their table to see Whizzer laughing and the girl blushing she looked at Charlotte and then backed at Whizzer and started to lecture him on something, but she kept stealing glances at Charlotte,

oh of course!

He went over to the coffee machine, this place wasn’t really a real coffee shop per se, they didn’t make fresh coffee they just had a big complicated coffee machine, he put Whizzers cup in first and began pressing his order in, he leaned over to Charlotte and casual said “I think the girl at the table with boy likes you” Charlotte head whipped up, she looked over the bar and at table “no way” Marvin rolled his eyes “yes way, you should go say hi!” Charlotte laughed “NO WAY MARV!” she realized how loud she had been, and hurriedly looked back at her book.

Marvin chuckled and took the now two finished cups of coffee and was just about to carry them over to the table when he got an idea. Even though would never be able to get with Whizzer didn’t mean that Charlotte didn’t deserve a happy ending.

Marvin turned back to Charlotte “do you like her?” he asked her, she looked up at him like he had just asked her if he could live without oxygen “I don’t know her, but if you’re asking me if I find her attractive then yes.” Marv nodded waited to she was looking down again then he took one of the order notes and wrote Charlotte’s number down.

If it failed he could just say it was revenge for her refusing to take his shift the last time when he been hungover.

He then began his journey over to the table, as he was nearing, he couldn’t help but overhear a little bit of their conversation “I’m only asking her if you finally ask cof boy out” “that’s not fair she literally is in the LGBT club and he’s straight”.

Whizzer saw Marvin nearing their table and promptly shut up, and was that a blush? No, it must just have been from the cold it was February after all. “Here you go a vanilla ice coffee with two pumps of caramel and a caramel latte” he placed the coffee down in front of their respective owners and then turned towards the girl he didn’t want to even look at Whizzer while doing this, “and a phone number from my coworker, whos too embarrassed to look up from her book”

He gave her a smile and was about turn around and go back to the bar and try desperately to not lose the battle between his eyes and Whizzes body when he heard Whizzer clear his throat he turned around to look at the pretty boy, “I’m sorry this is probably the last thing you want to be asked right now, and you’re probably not interested and this is really stupid-” the girl decided to help her friend out “he wants to know if you would be interested to go out with him, he has the biggest crush on you ever” Marvin’s brain was in shock and Whizzers finally seemed to stop being in shock because he exclaimed “Cordelia!” and looked at her like she had just said that he had been planning to use a time machine and join Hitler under the 2 world war, he then looked panicked back at Marvin “you really don't have to! And I get that you’re probably straight and I completely get it don’t worry, you don’t even have to answer you can just walk away and I promise to never step into this coffee shop again.”

this somehow made Marvins brain restart again bc he began to blush deep, “I would love to.” was what he finally interrupted Whizzer with. “Wait really” Whizzer sounded so soft and shocked like he was afraid that he would ruin it if he was too loud. “Yeah” Marvin took an order note from his pocket and in a kinda trance wrote down “pls call me -Marvin” and scribbled his number under it, he gave it to Whizzer, smiled at him and walked back to the bar.

He was still trying to figure out what had happened, he looked over at Whizzer and it seemed he was trying to do the same, Whizzer was sitting there with that smile of his looking at the paper, while the girl Cordelia was giggling. 

Charlotte looked at him like he was crazy for the third time that day “are you okay there  Marv?” he turned and smiled at her “I just got us a date”.

[poorguysheadcanon]

Whizzer’s Got A Type

ohhhhhhhh my god you guys so basically when i started this side blog i did not think i was going to be writing any full-length fics. this all changed when i started rewatching the show Smash and came up with might be my favorite headcanons i’ve ever had??? but anyway, after like 10 days of writing, editing,  and countless conversations about these characters, i have about 3200 words of a fic i genuinely enjoy, and i hope yall do too!! also, huge huge thank you to @browniemixinawaffleiron, @sandfordsmostwanted, and @cookies-for-all for helping me with this!!!

--

After Marvin had gotten back from work today, he and Whizzer had fought for hours. Whizzer was late to making dinner and Marvin had been livid. The younger man had enough of his boyfriend’s screams and decided he was done playing housewife for the day. He grabbed his jacket and walked around for a while before eventually finding the closest bar, knowing he needed a drink or two. As Whizzer approached the bar, he saw the back of a man’s head that he knew he could recognize anywhere. His face flushed with anger and he began yelling insults at his boyfriend while hitting his shoulder. How dare he come here? Whizzer was the one who needed this bar, not Marvin who had booze at his place. As he began to say something particularly cruel, a man with a soft confused expression turned around. This man, who looked exactly like Marvin, glanced up at Whizzer and said “Well, I’m certainly happy I’m not actually the guy you’re so pissed at. Care to explain?” and Whizzer sat down next to his boyfriends' doppelganger, got them both a drink and explained his situation. He spared no detail and ended the story with him walking out mere hours ago. The man, who had introduced himself as Tom Levitt, was interested in every word Whizzer had to say. Whizzer was certainly not used to the look on Tom’s face, one of sincerity. He hadn’t seen that since he started sleeping with Marvin. When Whizzer finished up his tale, Tom shook his head before raising his hand to get the bartender’s attention. “You are definitely in need of another drink,” he said before ordering another round for the two of them. They talked for a few more hours at the barstools until their conversation moved to a taxi, and then Toms’ apartment, and the conversation seemed to cease once they reached Tom’s bed.

The next morning, Tom rolled over to find a handsome man in his bed and he smirked to himself. He carefully got up, not wanting to wake the man sleeping peacefully, and got up to make them both some tea. As he was taking the kettle off the stove, he felt strong arms wrap around his waist from behind him. He smiled a bit when a kiss was pressed to his cheek before he felt Whizzer’s head rest on his shoulder for a second before he walked over and sat on Tom’s couch. They drank their tea in comfortable silence before Whizzer finally spoke up. “Well, I should probably get back to the war zone… try and smooth things over.”

Tom felt his heart pang but he pushed it down, offering a smile and a kiss on the cheek instead. “I wish you all my luck, but do call me again if he ever acts as dumb as he did last night.”

And call him again he did. Sooner than Tom expected, if he was honest. They had little fights here and there for about a week but things got back to normal. Well, normal for them. But after a little while, they had another big fight and Toms’ phone buzzed during a late night writing session with Julia. Tom sheepishly explained his plight to his best friend who promptly rolled her eyes while telling him this affair was an awful idea. “Tom, sweetheart, sleeping with this guy just because you look like his boyfriend is a terrible idea. This is just gonna end up hurting you in the end.” Tom just shook his head and began grabbing his coat before saying, “Well Jules, not all of us have men falling at our feet. This is what I have. Plus, he’s great in bed and shares my taste in tea. So I like it, no matter how it ends.”

After about a month of this went on, Whizzer going behind Marvin’s back far more frequently than he originally intended to. Eventually, this all had to come to a stop. One morning, Whizzer had forgotten to cover up the hickeys on his neck and Marvin took notice. Marvin questioned him and Whizzer revealed what had been happening, making jokes about Marv’s cute little doppelganger and calling him Marvin’s “better half.” Marvin hid his heartbreak behind more arguments and after two full days of screaming matches, their 9 month (10 month) relationship ended after a game of chess. Whizzer called Tom, trying to hide the shakiness in his voice as he walked out of Marvin’s place with his bag. Tom was actually in the middle of a workshop for he and Julia’s musical but as soon as he heard the other man’s tone, he called out for the rest of the day and met him at his own apartment. He made Whizzer tea and sat on the couch with him, rubbing his arms every once in a while. Whizzer got tired and laid his head on Tom’s lap, prompting him to play with his hair. Whizzer fell asleep and Tom smiled contently. He took this as a good sign. The sleeping man was now single and still chose to spend his time with Tom, that had to mean something. Tom had thought before that he was getting too attached to Whizzer, but when he looked down and saw him all curled up, Tom decided he got attached just the right amount.

A few months went by and the two men grew closer, all while not getting too serious. Whizzer spent almost all of his at Tom’s apartment, content to spend his time listening to Tom and sometimes Julia work on the Marilyn Monroe musical that he was about 90% sure they were calling Bombshell. Tom even got Whizzer to sing a few times, which Whizzer was sure wasn’t beneficial to anyone unless Tom was curious if his songs could still sound decent if someone tone deaf sang them. When Tom wasn’t working, he and Whizzer would go out to various bars together. It was a happy blur for six months.  Life was much calmer for Whizzer like this; no bickering, no insults, just kisses and affection. And although it was nice, something still felt off. Whizzer liked Tom, he really did. Not only was he sweet and funny, he just so happened to look exactly like the man he had loved. It was the perfect scenario, Marvin’s looks but a kind personality. He should have been head over heels for Tom, but he wasn’t. Tom wasn't Marvin and Whizzer needed to find a way out before he hurt Tom, more than he probably already was going to.

Tom had been in rehearsals all day, Bombshell was two weeks away from going to Boston and everyone was on high alert. At least when night fell, Tom went home to find Whizzer at his apartment most days. Nothing made him happier, his work life was starting to come together (even though it was beyond stressful) and his home life felt happier than it ever had before. He came home to something that shook his world that day though, Whizzer packing a bag. He coughed a bit to let his presence be known and Whizzer looked at him with a pained expression. “I hoped I had finished packing before you got back, but we need to talk.”

Tom bit his lip but nodded, sitting down on the couch and patting the spot next to him. Whizzer sat down next to him and put a hand on Toms' leg. Whizzer attempted to explain how he was feeling carefully, the last thing he wanted to do was hurt Tom but he knew that was unavoidable. He did the best he could to soften the blow. Tom was holding up okay, all things considered. Hiding his emotions when he needed to was one of his best talents. That all went out the window when he tried to mumble out, “Are you… are you going back to him?” And all of a sudden, Tom was a puddle of tears and Whizzer didn’t know what to do. He wrapped his arms around him and rubbed his back.

“No.. Not yet at least. He’s just on my mind still, I don’t think he’s leaving it any time soon. And it’s not fair to you that I keep this going, as much as I want to. Because I really like you, Tom, you’re such a great guy. It’s just not fair to you. I’m so sorry, Tom,” he whispered and continued to rub his back. Tom quickly forced himself to calm down and he wiped his eyes, looking at Whizzer before kissing his cheek.

“You’re a great guy too Whizz, if you do go back to him, make sure he deserves you. You deserve to be treated so much better than what you got before, if you do ever go back to him make sure you’re treated with respect.” He said and got up slowly, wiping his eyes again. Whizzer got up as well and kissed his cheek. “Take care of yourself Tom,” he said before quickly grabbing the rest of his stuff and walking out, leaving Tom alone, completely heartbroken.

Tom sat for a while on the couch, drinking scotch and trying not to cry again. He eventually called Julia, not trusting his voice but knowing she would understand him. She picked up and immediately heard his shaky breath. “Tom, what happened?”

He sniffled a bit and mumbled out a quiet “He left… he... He said he still loved his ex and that it wasn’t fair to me or something…?” and Julia grabbed her coat and began to walk over to his apartment. Tom sighed and said “You were right, I guess. Don’t tell me you told me so though.” Julia chuckled sadly “Of course I’m not gonna tell you I told you so, at least not for a few days.” They stayed up a few hours drinking and talking about the men in their lives, eventually passing out on Toms’ couch.

Almost a year and a half after that night, things were looking up for both Tom and Whizzer. Whizzer and Marvin were back together, much happier than they ever had been before. Marvin had grown a lot over the course of their breakup and treated Whizzer with respect, something the younger man didn’t think Marvin was capable of the last time around. Bombshell had finally made it to Broadway and things were going really well for Tom, he was even nominated for a Tony for Best Director. With the two of them so busy, they rarely thought of each other. This changed the night of the Tony Awards while Whizzer was sick in bed.

After a day of being pampered by Marvin, Whizzer was curled up in his boyfriend’s arms in bed. Whizzer was very whiny when he was sick, even though all he had was a common cold. Marvin made sure each of Whizzers’ requests were met, even the ridiculous ones like having his bath at exactly 107 degrees. The day was finally winding down and the two had the Tonys on as background noise. Everything was quiet in a comfortable way until a certain someone's name was called out on the TV for Best Original Score. Although Whizzer had complained of a sore throat all day, he screamed. That was Tom, his Tom, on his TV screen accepting an award. After his general excitement died down, he explained to Marvin who that was. Marvins face paled a bit when he realized this was his so-called “better half” doppelganger that Whizzer had been with all those months ago. Whizzer was too caught up in his excitement to notice, already grabbing his laptop to look for tickets. “Marv, we have to see it. We have to go see Tom’s show, I can’t believe I didn’t think of it sooner.” The older man just sighed, knowing there was no way around this, and took out his credit card.

The soonest the two men could get tickets was two weeks away and Whizzer was both counting down the days and incredibly anxious all at once. On the one hand, he was so excited to see this show. He remembered the days he spent watching Tom and Julia write songs, the times he would stop into the workshop to see Tom at work, and of course all the times Tom would sing various Bombshell songs to him. On the other hand, seeing this show meant seeing Tom again. After leaving Tom’s apartment that night, Whizzer hadn’t seen the man. As much as he wanted to see Tom, he was scared that Tom didn’t want to see him.

The day finally came and Marvin and Whizzer arrived to the theatre, dressed to the nines. They had relatively close seats and Whizzer was so excited. The second the curtain opened, he was in a trance. The show was fantastic and he felt an overwhelming sense of pride for Tom. By the act one closer, Whizzer had already cried twice. The first time was during “Never Give All The Heart” because he could just hear Tom’s struggles with love in there. Even though Marilyn (or more accurately Ivy) was singing, he knew that this song was personal to his ex. He cried once more at the act one finale, holding Marvin’s hand so tight the older man thought he was losing circulation. During intermission, the two stood in the lobby discussing the plot and how much Whizzer adored it. Marvin did as well, but with his underlying anxieties about Tom, he didn’t want to admit how fantastic it really was.

In the middle of their conversation, a staff member came walking up to the pair. “Mr. Brown? Tom Levitt has asked that you and your guest come to the stage door after the show so he can give you a tour.” Whizzer smiled excitedly and nodded his head, thanking them as they walked off. It was really happening, after all this time he really was going to see Tom again. Just as he was about to talk with Marvin about it, the lights flashed as a signal that intermission was about to end. They quickly found their seats again and the curtain rose again for the second act. This act also made Whizzer emotional but nothing could have prepared him for the death grip on his hand during “Hang the Moon.” He glanced over at Marvin to see what was wrong and he saw him desperately trying to hold back tears. Whizzer rubbed his arm gently and leaned over to whisper to him, “Love it’s okay to cry, no one’s gonna see you.” And that was all Marvin needed to let his tears flow. When the lights came on after curtain call, Marvin was still desperately wiping at his cheeks to get rid of the evidence of his emotions. Whizzer gently wiped them away while softly telling him that it was normal for him to be crying. “Whizz it’s stupid, I shouldn’t be crying over a- I’m a grown man.”

“Marvin. It’s okay, you’re allowed to cry whenever you’d like. There’s nothing not normal about crying. You’ve seen me cry a bunch of times, is that not normal?”

“No, but that’s differ-“

“No it’s not babe, we’re both grown men. We both have emotions. It’s perfectly alright to let them show.”

Marvin stayed quiet for a second and wrapped his arms around Whizzer, thankful he had someone like him in his life. “Thank you, Whizz. I needed that.” The younger man gave his boyfriend a soft but sweet kiss before taking his hand and beginning to make their way to the stage door.

Once they reached the door, Whizzer pressed the buzzer and waited for the stage manager to open the door for them. He smiled and thanked the woman who led them back to Tom. It was now Whizzer’s turn to have a death grip on his boyfriend's hand. He released it the second Tom saw the two of them and was walking over with open arms. Whizzer quickly hugged him with a smile, Marvin standing back slightly to let the two have their moment. They exchanged pleasantries before Whizzer began to praise Bombshell. “Tom it's magical, really. I haven’t enjoyed a show this much in a long time. I just can’t believe those songs you’d sing to me have turned into this.”

Tom smiled sheepishly and shook his head. “Well it wasn’t just me, it was Julia, and Derek, and Eileen, and-”

“Tom stop, give yourself some credit. You’re so unbelievably talented, I’m so happy I get to see you shine like this.”

Tom blushed a bit and touched his shoulder. “Thank you, really Whizz. I’m so happy you got to see this show outside of me drunkenly singing to you.” When Marvin saw the blush creep onto Tom’s face, he walked up and put his arm around his boyfriend’s waist. Tom looked over at him and his eyes got wide for a second before going back to his signature smile. “Ah, you must be the famous Marvin. So happy to meet you.” They shook hands, Marvin making sure he had a firm handshake. Tom tensed a bit when he felt his hand crushed by Marvin’s but he just continued to smile.

Marvin would eventually walk off to let them talk once he was sure Tom wasn’t a threat. He walked over to Leigh Conroy, looking particularly starstruck. Whizzer looked over at him and saw his boyfriends eyes light up. He laughed slightly and looked back at Tom with a smile. “So… you and Marvin seem to have worked out, I’m really happy for you. He’s treating you better, right?”

“Yeah, so much better. It’s like night and day honestly, he’s wonderful,” he said as he glanced over at Marvin again, sighing happily. “So, enough about my relationship. Have you found anyone?” Whizzer asked him, hoping he found someone that gave him the love he gave others.

“I did, he sits on my desk all day and spins, his name is Tony.”

“...Tom”

“No, I did.. One of them left and one… well, one died.” He said and looked down and Whizzer put his hand on his arm.

“Tom I’m so sorry.”

Tom nodded and smiled sadly. “Me too.” The two talked for a while, happy to catch up with each other. Their conversation eventually died down when Ivy walked up to Tom and cuddled up to his arm, knowing exactly who Whizzer was and how badly he had hurt Tom.

“I’m sorry, I don’t believe we’ve met,” She said with a smile while giving him a slight side eye. Ignoring the side eye, Whizzer smiled.

“Oh my god, you’re Ivy Lynn. You were absolutely amazing in the show. I’m Whizzer, an old friend of Tom’s.” She smiled politely and thanked him before reminding Tom of plans they had for that night. Whizzer smiled softly. “We should probably get going anyway. It was great seeing you again Tom, really. Don’t be a stranger,” he said before giving him a quick hug and walking off to find Marvin.

“So that’s Whizzer, huh? Seems cute enough, but you really still think he was worth the heartache?” Ivy asked and looked up at Tom.

“Yeah... Yeah, I think he was.”

[falsettolandhigh]

soft Marvin and Whizzer moments??

-Whizzer sometimes falls asleep on Marvin’s chest after a long day. They’ll be watching television or just sitting and talking about life, and soon enough, Marvin hears his boyfriend’s soft snores and smiles to himself before finding him a pillow and blanket.

-They spend a lot of time talking about the future, mostly with smiles on their faces and light in their eyes. Turns out they share the same dreams-- get out of town, settle down, and maybe (eventually) have a kid or two. 

-Marvin woke up to a paragraph from Whizzer one morning after a long night of them talking on the phone, with a lot of Whizzer crying and Marvin assuring him that yes, everything will be okay. marv, i want to thank you with all my heart for being you and putting up with me. i don’t know if you know, but you have talked me out of some pretty bad spots in my life. i love you with all i know to love you with. you’re my best friend, and i don’t know what i would do without you.

-I love these fucking gays.

[moreracquetball]

For the "ask me anything" - Mendel and Trina in the baseball au? And/or how Charlotte/Cordelia find out Marvin and Whizzer are together and how they react? (Or anything in the baseball au really, I LOVE that fic)

Since other people have already asked/requested for Trindel headcanons in asks I will answer later, I’ll answer the prompt about the lesbians if that’s okay:

- As established in canon (the canon of my fic, that is), Charlotte does not believe Marvin when he told her that he hooked up with The Whizzer Brown (it should be mentioned that Charlotte is a HUGE baseball fan and actually loves the Red Sox - unlike Jason). She only comes to accept this as fact when she’s coming home from a long day at the hospital just as Whizzer is leaving Marvin’s apartment. 

- Awe-stricken and tired from a long day, it doesn’t even register at first that Whizzer is leaving Marvin’s apartment, and so she just goes into full Fan mode and tells him how much of a stan she is for him. Whizzer takes any sort of attention in stride and smiles widely and thanks her and asks if she wants an autograph, and they stand there for a minute talking a little.

- And so Marvin hears Whizzer talking to someone literally outside his own door, and he - unkempt and naked, save for a pair of boxers that he quickly shucks back on so he can open the door - opens up to see Charlotte standing there.

- They lock eyes and it just clicks in Charlotte’s head that hey wait, why is a famous baseball player standing outside my best friend’s door??? Also, why is said best friend only in his underwear and looks like he just had sex???

- Poor oblivious Whizzer is like “oh Marv, I just ran into one of your neighbors. You didn’t tell me you knew a Red Sox fan.” Marvin, finally overcoming his shock at seeing Charlotte, just sorta smirks at her and says, “You know, I told her that I knew a Red Sox player, but she didn’t believe me.”

- And Charlotte looks over at Whizzer, seeing his mussed hair and swollen lips and heady stare that he’s giving Marvin, and her grasp on reality short-circuits.

- After Whizzer says goodbye, Charlotte marches into Marvin’s apartment and demands to know everything right now. Marvin - ever the cocky asshole - says “oh?? so that really was the real Whizzer Brown? Who wouldve guessed that I could seduce him?”

- After that introduction, Charlotte and Whizzer get along really well, but Charlotte does give him that stern “you hurt Marvin, and I will kill you” which Whizzer gives to her when she starts dating his own bff, Cordelia.

- Speaking of Cordelia, let’s go to how she first knew about/met Marvin.

- Every time that Whizzer is in new york, he visits Cordelia (since she lives there). Of course, he did it semi-often bc they are best friends, but she starts noticing that he’s dropping by the city with an oddly increasing frequency. He always gets a little dodgy when she innocently mentions it, so she blessedly doesn’t bring it up until Whizzer quite abruptly bursts into her apartment unannounced (without even a phone call to let her know that he’s in the city) with an indignant, angry, hurt exclamation, “He has a fucking kid, ‘Delia!! Why the fuck would Marvin keep something like that from me?? As if i wouldn’t find out? I mean, I’ve been sucking his cock for the past six months now - i would think that - wait, what? Why are you looking at me like that?”

- “Whizzer,” Cordelia asks calmly, brow furrowed, “Who the fuck is Marvin??”

- And so Whizzer tells her about his newest booty call - about how he’s such a pain in the ass and how he apparently keeps things from him (like a son) and how he won’t stop texting Whizzer all the time with outdated memes and stupid jokes that always distract him and how he’s just so insufferable and stubborn and how he won’t concede an argument even if his life depended on it - and Cordelia stops him mid-rant after about an hour and asks: “Does he know that you feel this way?”

- Whizzer bites out, “What? That I’m furious at him? Yeah, I gave him a clue or two.”

- “No, Stupid,” Cordelia says exasperatedly, “That you’re in love with the guy?”

- Whizzer: what no that’s gross i would never ewww he’s not my boyfriend cordelia why would you even s a y that i dont like him at all it’s not like i think about him all the time and he’s terrible and it sounds to me that you’re in love with him, huh? HUH?

- (that’s a little paraphrased but you know what i mean).

- Cordelia doesnt meet Marvin until weeks and weeks later, and she is so geared up to meet Whizzer’s maybe-boyfriend-shut-up-’Delia-I’m-not-putting-a-label-on-it and give him that “don’t you ever dare hurt Whizzer or I will gut you like a Turkey on Thanksgiving.” But then she runs into Charlotte in the hallway and she gets lovestruck and then grills Marvin about that cute doctor-neighbor and could you maybe give me her phone number?? P l e a s e???

- but um Marvin and Cordelia get along very well because they’re the two people closest to Whizzer and they have equal lack of fundamental grasp of understanding of baseball and they like to gang up on Whizzer sometimes to tease him when he’s being a bit of an ass (more than usual, that is). Cordelia actually v approves of Marvin and pushes Whizzer to open up and not be so emotionally repressed.

(Ask me anything about my fics/writing).

[theotherballingirl]

Here is my stab at a Falsettos fic. It’s Whizzer-in-hospital, so not exactly happy, but it’s not too terrible either (I think). I hope you enjoy. 

Éclair

 During the third-to-last day of his life, Whizzer starts speaking solely in French. Well more mumbling than speaking, really, but clear enough and consistently enough that Marvin knows he’s trying to tell him something. But what?  Marvin, of course, does not speak any French. Whizzer tried to teach him once, but that had gone bust. He had stopped the lessons pretty quickly, citing “the gratuitous use of silent letters.”

 Whizzer’s eyes are shut, his voice raspy. “Étienne, apporte-moi quelque chose de sucré de cette boulangerie de la rue Cuvier.”

 Marvin bites down on his lip so hard he thinks he tastes blood. “In English, babe. Please. I don’t understand.”

 “Quelque chose de sucré de la boulangerie--Maintenant, Étienne!”

 Marvin starts to cry, which isn’t as shocking a thing as it used to be, except now it’s tears of frustration mixed in with the usual sadness and rage. What is he supposed to do in a situation like this? Call a nurse? Consult a dictionary? He doesn’t exactly have one handy, and it’s not like he can swing out to the library and get one. And he had promised him. I’m not leaving this room, not for one moment, not even to take a leak or get Nureyev’s autograph. And it could be any minute now.

 Then, he remembers: the pager in his pocket, a recent gift, of sorts, from Charlotte. “Page me when it’s time.” It wasn’t time. Not yet. But in the shadow of Whizzer’s tower of babble, Marvin feels that such measures were warranted. He presses the button.

 Seven minutes later, a panting Dr. Charlotte slams into the doorway at full speed. “Is it-Is he-“

 Marvin silences her with a wave. “No, no, no. I paged you because I wanted… to ask if you know French.”

 “Excuse me?” Charlotte asks. She wonders if Marvin’s has, at long last, lost his fdamn mind.

 “Yes, I know it sounds bizarre, but this is the first fucking thing he’s said in over 48 hours and I need to know what it means. Just tell me.”

 Whizzer rouses, pushes his cheek into the pillow. “Allez, avant de fermer. Aller!”

 Charlotte’s face falls. “Marvin, I, I don’t speak French.”

 This throws Marvin for a loop. “I…thought you knew everything,” he says, with barely a hint of sarcasm.

 Charlotte gives a small, terse laugh. “We both know that’s not quite true. Look, we have a few translators on staff, but I’m pretty sure they mostly do Spanish and Chinese and maybe, maybe Italian. Just, Wait one second.” She runs out of the room.

 An hour seems to pass before she finally returns. “Sorry. It turns out one of the them, Candace, knows French.”

 Marvin smiles in spite of himself, a weird sort of grimace. Finally, he thinks, some good news.

 “…but she’s on vacation now.”

 Oh. Stupid Marvin. He grasps the handles on the bed so hard he feels it cracking under the pressure of his palms. “Are you telling me no one in this goddamn hospital speaks any French? NO ONE!?”

 Charlotte stands there very still. At first Marvin thinks she’s upset, but then he remembers who he’s dealing with. Charlotte. The girl who liked to study standing up when they were in college: rod-straight, still as an old photograph, her pose one of total concentration.

 “I might know someone who can help. I’ll be right back, I swear.”

 She returns, quicker this time, with a slim black man in a lab coat. The man looks tired, somewhat perplexed, but not annoyed. He has droopy shoulders and big eyes like Marvin’s old Kewpie dolls.

 “Marvin,” Charlotte says, “This is Dr. Pierre, a clinical pathologist. He works downstairs. Dr. Pierre, this is my friend Marvin and his-this is my other friend, Whizzer.”

  Unlike most of the other doctors who give their surgically-masked spiels from the safety of the doorway, Dr. Pierre walks straight to the side of the bed before reaching over to shake Marvin’s hand. “It’s lovely to meet,” he says. Then he puts his hand on Whizzer’s shoulder. “And you, also.” Marvin likes him immediately.

 “You should know I speak Haitian Creole, not so much French-”

 “That’s fine.” Marvin cuts in. “Just try your best.”

 Dr. Pierre clears his throat, “So what is the problem?” he asks.

  “Buddy. Buddy. Tell the doctor what you want,” Marvin says, rubbing Whizzer’s face.

 Whizzer inhales, then exhales. “Étienne. Apporte-moi. Quelque chose de sucré. De la  boulangerie.”

 Pierre pauses before speaking. “He says, Étienne, bring me something sweet from the bakery.”

 “Etienne, What is that?” Marvin asks.

 “It’s a name,” Dr. Pierre replies. “A man’s name.”

 A man?

 “Whizzer, Whizzer, who is Etienne? Who is—shit.” A wave of recognition, then embarrassment, then anger, and then shame at said anger overwhelms Marvin. He looks up at Charlotte. “He’s asking for the guy he had when he lived in Paris. That magazine editor with the strong jaw and the fancy apartment” Then he turns to Dr. Pierre. ‘Tell him this is Marvin with him, NOT ”yeti-anne” or whatever.”

 “Whizzer,” Dr. Pierre says, “C'est Marvin. Pas Etienne.”

 For the first time in nearly 24 hours, Whizzer opens his eyes. Marvin forgets to breathe. Scanning the room, Whizzer’s eyes fall on his hoody-clad lover.

 “Je le sais, connard,” he whispers.

 “What did…” Marvin sputters.

 Dr. Pierre has a pained look on his face. “I cannot-“

  “Just say it!”

 Dr. Pierre looks down at the linoleum. “He said ‘I know that, shithead.’”

 Marvin freezes, hunched over on the mattress, mouth agape. Then he starts laughing—a deep, throaty lap from deep in his bowels, or maybe directly from the underworld, he doesn’t know. Charlotte covers her mouth, trying in vain to stay professional, while Dr. Pierre stares shyly out the window, trying his very best not to crack. Finally, Marvin speaks up.

 “So which sweet thing do you want, sweetie?”

 Whizzer blinks. “Um.”

 “Um what?”

 Charlotte pats Marvin on the back. “Give him some time.”

 “Éclair!” Whizzer bursts out. “Chocolat, s'il vous plait.”

 Marvin collapses into his chair. “Now that I understood.” He picks up the phone and dials Cordelia.  “It’s Marvin. No no, he’s uh—hey, I need you to pick up some éclairs—chocolate éclairs—and bring them to the hospital, stat. Got it? Thanks.”

 --------------------------------------------------------

 One hour later, Cordelia storms in in her windbreaker clutching a large shopping bag. “I ran as soon as you called, they get so busy on the weekends. But they just happened to--“she pulls out the pastry box— “have made this batch fresh. Just our luck!”

 “Yeah,” Marvin says quietly. “just our luck.” He starts pulling the pastry apart, cutting it into smaller and smaller pieces.

 Awkwardly, Cordelia stares into the hall at a passing nurse. “Uh, Marv, are we allowed to feed him this?”

 Marvin cocks his head like he’s about to lecture a child, or an insolent child. “Why wouldn’t we be?” he barks, before stopping himself His eyes start to brim over. “Do you really think anything could possibly make any difference now? Do you?”

 Cordelia nods quickly, trying not to cry. Being the go-to beacon of sunshine is not all its cracked up to be.

 “No. You’re right. I’m sorry.”

 She turns to Whizzer, who has now trained his empty gaze on the inert TV. “Bon Appetite, monsieur!” He doesn’t respond, or look at anyone., but after it’s over Marvin will tell her he swears he saw him smile.

 Marvin goes to work feeding him, poking bits of pastry into Whizzer’s mouth. Soon Marvin’s hands are covered in cream and chocolate frosting. He doesn’t even try to wipe it off. “I must say, you are a much more efficient eater than Jason was!” Cordelia laughs, a real laugh, a laugh Marvin knows he can rely on.

 Charlotte comes to check in, and Cordelia makes her take an éclair over protestations of blood sugar and saturated fats. She leans against the wall, goes to touch Whizzer’s neck, goes back to the wall. Marvin asks about Dr. Pierre. “He immigrated from Haiti,” she says. “His family has ties to some of the most decorated leaders of the Haitian Revolution. They used to be well off, but the Duvaliers took almost everything from them. He’s worked like hell just to get the right to work here, and now he’s trying to bring his sister over too.”

 “Good guy,” Marvin says.

 “Yes,” Charlotte says. “It’s nice to know those people still exist, isn’t it?”

 -------------------------------------------------------------

 Two weeks later, Dr. Jules Pierre is sitting at his desk, a microscope by one hand and a notebook in the other, when a deliveryman enters his space.

“Excuse me, but who let you come in here?”

 “Dr. Miller did.”

 “Oh.” Jules’s face softens. “Charlotte. Bring it over.”

 It’s a small box, light and delicate, whiter than his coat and wrapped up in a pink and gold ribbon. Attached is a note. He reads:

 Thank you for helping us in a time of great need. Or, as Whizzer would say: Merci beaucoup. Charlotte tells me you have been having some issues with immigration and raising money to bring over your family. While I’m no lawyer, I have recently come in to a bit of money and I would like to see it spent wisely. I know that’s what he would want. Please let Charlotte know if you’re interested.

-Marvin F.

 Jules opens the box to find six immaculate chocolate éclairs. He takes a bite, the éclair crumbling in his shaking hands. It’s the best thing he’s ever eaten.

     THE END 

[jukesboxblues]

tagged by @moreraquetball

i tag uhhhh @malo-melons @alonsimo @21centurykerplunk @shrek-is-drek and that's it 1. drink? some juice that lowkey looks like wine?? 2. phone call? my mom hah 3. text message? uhhh one of my s/os 4. song you listened to? //whizzer going down from in trousers hahah 5. time you cried? the last time i finished the falsettos soundtrack so,,yesterday??? have you ever 6. dated someone twice? no p e 7. kissed someone and regretted it? mmm yea 8. been cheated on? noooooo,,,t exactly???idk it's a Long Story whoop 9. lost someone special? no 10. gotten drunk and thrown up? gotten drunk,,,somewhat. thrown up because of that??nope favorite colors: 11. purple 12. black 13. green/pink idk I can't decide in the last year have you 14. made new friends? yup!! 15. fallen out of love? nah 16. laughed until you cried? i don't think so 17. found out someone was talking about you? hnnng no 18. met someone who changed you? i'd like to think i change myself so 19. found out who your friends are? i found two new am a zi in g friends 20. kissed someone on your facebook list? i don't have a facebook lol general: 21. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life? see above^^ 22. do you have any pets? one dog but i Highkey want a cat 23. do you want to change your name? my legal name???ye i wanna change it but my name is wonderful so 24. what did you do for your last birthday? hung out with some friends and slept in 25. what time did you wake up? 5:45 am 26. what were you doing at midnight last night? fuckin sleeping thank god 27. name something you can’t wait for? pbs to show the falsettos pro shoot on oct 27th at 8 pm 28. when was the last time you saw your mom? 13 hours ago 29. what are you listening to right now? in trousers!! 30. have you ever talked to a person named tom? uhhhh,,,i don't think so 31. something that is getting on your nerves? the fucking trump presidency tbh 32. most visited website? ao3 or google docs tbh,,, 33. hair color? died blonde, natural red(ish) 34. long or short hair? s h o r t 35. do you have a crush on someone? always,,,i'm polyamorous gu ys 36. what do you like about yourself? uhhhhh that i'm rlly good at English and can write O K I guess??also i'm a Pretty Boy and i like that abt myself so 37. piercing? my ears are pierced but i lowkey want more piercings Eventually 38. bloodtype? who actually knows this tbh 39. nickname? queer nerd????idk jules is technically a nickname cause my full name is julian but whatev 40. relationship status? i'm in a relationship 41. zodiac? gemini (ik ik the most hated of the zodiac) 42. pronouns? they/them or he/him 43. favorite tv show? criminal minds 44. tattoos? Eventually!! 45. right or left handed? right handed 46. surgery? maybe top surgery Some Day but idk 47. sport? i take karate!!!//whizzer voice: i was trained in karate 48. vacation? universal studios/orlando 49. pair of trainers? uhhhh I wear boots or converse more general 50. eating: nothing but I may make dinner soon??idk 51. drinking: again, nothing 52. i’m about to: hopefully make some dinner 53. waiting for: death tbh,,,but uhhh the weekend 54. want: a will to live and some love 55. get married? naaah,,,i'm Good unless my partner(s) wanna get married 56. career? uhhh politician, professional musician??? which is better 57. hugs or kisses? mmmm hand holding 58. lips or eyes? E Y E S 59. shorter or taller? i'm always the shortest so,,,taller i guess 60. older or younger? a Nice Mixture 61. nice arms or nice stomach? ????idk i haven't rlly given it much thought?? 62. hook up or relationship? a lil bit of both thank 63. troublemaker or hesitant? ,,,uhhh it depends on who you ask i think have you ever 64. kissed a stranger? nope 65. drank hard liquor? ,,,i've had some whiskey before 66. lost glasses/contacts? my life in a nutshell tbh 67. turned someone down? no,, 68. had sex on the first date? maybe??? 69. broken someones heart? no 70. had your heart broken? nahhh 71. been arrested? thankfully, no. but i have broken the law 72. cried when someone died? y ep 73. fallen for a friend? ye a,,i've fallen for quite a few friends do you believe in 74. yourself? for the most part???i mostly hate myself but i get moments where i get rlly self absorbed but uhhhhhhh 75. miracles? oh ye 76. love at first sight? love at first sight???no ,,lust at first sight??ye 77. santa? hhhahha,,,i wish 78. kiss on the first date? yea sure why not 79. angels? maybe??i'm not particularly religious but i think angels could exist other 80. current best friend’s name: mmmm mali or sarah 81. eye color: blue/green???i think idk 82. favorite movie: captain america: the winter soldier

[bi-nanacarrotsurprise]

How Great My Life Is

So this is the result of not being able to sleep at 4 am. Hopefully it's good.

This is how I imagine Charlotte and Cordelia met. Enjoy!

 Wednesdays are never anyone's favorite day- it's usually right behind Monday on most people's "worst day of the week" lists. But for Cordelia Murphy, one particular Wednesday was about to become the best day of her life. It started out like any other Wednesday- waking up at 7 to get to the coffee shop by 8:30, yuppie customers screaming for their lattes, and just begging for the day to be over. A brief reprieve occurred around noon when her best friend Whizzer arrived, as he usually did around this time of day since the breakup, poor thing. He was better off, though; Marvin was kind of an asshole anyway.

 "'Scuse me, ma'am," the man drawled, leaning against the counter, "you come here often?"

 "Hey, Whiz Kid. I'll be off in a bit; we can grab lunch then."

 "Deedee, you've become a slave."

 "Hey," the blonde replied, "every hour I spend here is one hour closer to my catering company. You should be grateful- one day people will be lining up to try my food." 

 "If you can learn to make latkes as good as you make mocha frapps, sure they will." 

 Cordelia wrinkled her nose playfully. "There's a penalty for loitering, ya know. One large mocha frapp, then?"

 "Can I get a discount, since I know the artiste in question?" 

 "Haha, very funny." 

 Cordelia started on Whizzer's coffee, but just as she was about to pour in his signature splash of Grand Marnier (which she never told her boss about), something caught her eye. Someone, rather. A woman, probably in her thirties, with beautiful dark skin and wavy black hair, wearing a navy blue pantsuit, was sitting alone at a center table, reading a magazine Cordelia couldn't quite make out, but which looked important. Her heart fluttered slightly. Whizzer noticed. 

"You like her?"

 "I mean...kind of." 

 "Go talk to her."

 "Oh my God, Whizzer, no! Who knows if she's even gay. Besides, how tacky would I look just walking up to a random woman and going 'hey, how are you, I'm a lesbian, wanna kiss me?"

 Whizzer chuckled lightly. "Is that really all the game you have? Here, let me show you how it's done."

 "WHIZZER! Oh my God, stop! Please!" 

She continued to protest, to no avail, as the slinky brunette made his way to the table where the pretty black lady sat.

 "Hey, sweetheart," he said, doing his best impression of a heterosexual, "come here often?"

 The woman grimaced, and went back to reading her magazine. Whizzer, slightly intimidated now, but only slightly, sat beside her, now taking notice of the magazine she was reading. 

"Medical journal, huh?" 

"Mhmm," said the woman, barely grunting.

 "See, I like smart women. Maybe you and I could play doctor sometime." 

"Look, pal," snapped the woman, clearly mustering all her strength to not pound the table with her fists, "I don't know if you can't take a hint or if you're just a pig, but I'm not interested."

 "Well, that's good, cause Cordelia here is!" 

Cordelia, who had watched the dreadful proceedings almost entirely through her hands, was then forcibly dragged to the table, protesting all the way. 

 "Oh my God, hi, um, please excuse my friend, he's nuts... and...um...oh wow, is that a medical journal? You must be so smart, oh my God, I'm so sorry, I must sound like a complete idiot next to you...oh my God." 

 "You definitely don't," the woman said, her sharp tone having melted away, and whose frown had turned to a warm smile. "You don't have to be sorry. Your friend, on the other hand... what did you say your name was?"

 "I didn't." He extended his hand, and proceeded with the greeting he only used for a select audience. "Hello, I'm Whizzer Brown, and I'm a homosexual." 

The woman seemed taken aback for a moment, and for a moment Cordelia's heart sank with the fear that it was because of the final word. 

"Whizzer?" she said finally. "Why do..." 

"Don't ask," he and Cordelia said simultaneously. 

The woman turned her attentions toward the blonde. "And you're Cordelia, you said? Pretty name. Unusual." 

 "Oh God, wow, thank you..." Whizzer put a hand on her shoulder before she could ramble any further.

 "Very nice to meet you, Cordelia. Whizzer." She said his name with slight snark, but it was clear she was warming up to him somewhat. "I'm Charlotte." 

She extended her hand to shake Cordelia's. The blonde's heart fluttered again, but this time more fervently. Charlotte's watch beeped. 

 "Well, I have to get back to work. It was nice meeting you two." She quickly put on her white coat, which had been sitting on her chair the whole time, and which the two were just now realizing had a name tag on it- Dr. Charlotte Dubois.

 "Oh wow...you're a doctor?" Cordelia gasped. 

"That's right. Internist at Mount Sinai." 

"Damn, I was kidding," Whizzer joked. 

Charlotte smirked again. "Oh! Wait...before I go."

 She quickly grabbed a napkin and scribbled something with a pen from her lapel, and handed it to Cordelia. She winked, and walked out the door. Cordelia, not wanting to take her eyes off of her, followed her almost instinctively, nearly walking out the door with her. Finally, she glanced at the napkin Charlotte gave her. 10 digits. It was her phone number. She looked back at Whizzer, who was looking at her smugly. 

"Well?" 

"THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!" she squealed, running towards him and jumping into his arms. 

 "Hey," chuckled Whizzer, spinning her, then setting her down. "No need to thank me." 

 "How did you know that would work?,” said Cordelia breathlessly

"Look at me, Deedee. Any woman who can resist me has got to be a lesbian."

[moreracquetball]

more Cordelia/Charlotte baseball au hcs?

kk (is this controversial if I don't make them pre-established in this au?? Idk. I feel like in all my fics, I make them already in a relationship, so I kinda want to show how that relationship starts and flourishes).—Cordelia is Whizzer's best friend/personal chef (ie Whizzer is her personal guinea pig)/unofficial therapist to his Boy Problems. They grew up in a small town in Nebraska (guess which one?? Lol, you're right—Kearney), and Cordelia was always Super Supportive of Whizzer's baseball and Whizzer was always Super Supportive of her cooking. Since their parents were never really supportive of either of them, they relied on each other and even though Cordelia now lives in New York and Whizzer doesn't, they talk on the phone all the time and visit each other at least three times a month and the media thought they were dating for awhile before Whizzer fixed that shit right then and there bc /gross/.—Marvin and Charlotte met when Marvin moved next-door after he divorced Trina, and they kept running into each other in the hallway and making awkward small talk until Charlotte lets it slip that she's going on a date with a girl tonight and Marvin is like "Oh My God, You're Gay Too? Thank God" bc both of them are a little egotistical and thought the other was flirting with them (hint: neither really was). Anyways, Charlotte and Marvin form like this gay solidarity and their interactions become less awkward and more frequent bc they have the same sense of humor and weird superiority insecurities. And one day, they're eating Chinese food on Marvin's shitty sofa and watching MASH and Charlotte looks at him and says, "You know, I think you might be my best friend." And Marvin thinks a minute before saying, "You know, I think you might be my only friend." And they are nerdy Friendship Goals.—Cordelia and Charlotte first meet when Whizzer takes Cordelia to Marvin's apartment to introduce his boyfriend and his best friend to each other, and Charlotte is already leaving her own apartment and sees them in the hallway and she loses ability to function for a second because that blonde girl is so /pretty/ (God, look at those cheekbones) and why the hell is she standing in front of /Marvin's/ door???—Charlotte just automatically smiles at her as soon as she and Cordelia make eye contact and that's all Cordelia can think about the entire day—even though she had promised herself she was going to grill Marvin as is her duty of being Whizzer's Best Friend. When she finds out that Marvin knows Charlotte and that she's gay, Cordelia makes him tell her Everything^tm.—Charlotte had to rush out bc she had a shift at the hospital but when she gets back, Marvin tells her bemusedly that Whizzer's friend wanted to make sure that she got her phone number and that he is Pissed^tm that Charlotte just has to /smile/ at someone to make them fall in love with her.—They start texting. Cordelia uses way too many emojis and drops the f bomb every other text. Charlotte is SMITTEN. They text until like 2am that first night.—Charlotte has a very hectic, random schedule at the hospital, so it seems like she keeps blowing Cordelia off when she tries to set up a date. Charlotte realizes this and demands to know her address at 1am and when Cordelia bemusedly sends her it, Charlotte is standing in front of her apartment building fifteen minutes later, her make-up smudged from a long day at work and she's still wearing her scrubs and lab coat. Cordelia invites her in and they eat old Hot Pockets that Cordelia found in her freezer and eventually pass out on her kitchen floor.—Charlotte kisses her that night, when Cordelia starts explaining how she's actually going to quit her job as a chef at Olive Garden and start her own catering business and she's really nervous but it's her passion and she wants to be happy with herself fully. And Cordelia is so passionate about this—Charlotte sees the flush on those cheekbones and the fire in her eyes and she just has to kiss her.—When they're in that phase of "We've been on a couple dates so when can we make a verbal agreement to only kiss each other and I can start calling you my girlfriend?" Cordelia calls Charlotte her doctor instead bc she's a sap and she wants Charlotte to know that she means a lot to her. Even when they make things official, "my doctor" becomes a pet name.—Charlotte and Cordelia are Big fans of baseball. They bicker all the time about whether a player was safe or out and like which player is objectively the best ever ("'Delia, DiMaggio had a 56-game hitting streak." "Whizzer probably has like a 56 MILLION-game hitting streak!" "Not to interrupt, but that isn't—" "Shut up, Brown. I'm stanning for you."), and it is /very/ fun to watch.—They support each other in their ambitions and are very affectionate and love-dovey and Charlotte never thought that someone could love her (given her dedication to her work and the weird hours at the hospital and the fact that she can be a bitch sometimes when she's stressed and frustrated) and Cordelia never thought that someone could love her (given her temper and over-protectiveness and the fact that she wants to be a caterer and not like some gourmet chef and she sometimes feels worthless and uninspired and like she's throwing her life away), but they found that someone and it was each other.