#thank you jesse my love for being difficult when people try to talk to me i love you so much 💜💜💜💜
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shvdowsdrowned · 8 months ago
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Idc if this doesn't make sense I'm so fucking pissed rn: I was walking my dog and this lady in her car stopped next to us and she was like "aw he's so cute I gotta get a picture of this" and I'm like okay whatever so I tried to hide my face with my sweater and move away from my dog so I wouldn't get in the pic n she was like "it's your dog cmon stand by her" and I said "no I don't want my picture taken???". At this point my dog has been barking the whole time so the lady was like "can you tell him to stop?" and I said "no she just does that" and the lady goes "hey you work at McDonald's don't you?", I said "no i dont" n she's like "yes you do" as if I was lying (which I wasn't. I'm fucking unemployed) and idk if she got the picture or not but she was like "thank you god bless you" and drove off. Yeah if god fucking blessed me I wouldn't have ran into you thanks for ruining my day you fuck
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literateowl · 9 months ago
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for sleepover saturday,
Top 3 fav drinks? 
Tell me a story about you (or your day, you pick!) 
What are your top 3 a league of their own scenes?? 
Aww thanks for the ask 💜🩷
My 3 favorite drinks in no particular order
Thai Tea - I've been having a bit of an obsession lately. If a place has it I will get it and try it.
Chai latte -Caribou Coffee's is better than starbucks but the best is spicy chai from a local place near me
Mango boba tea with either regular boba or lychee flavored jellies
My top 3 A League of Their Own Scenes - so difficult! Also I watched shortly after the release so this kind of the ones I still think about the most
Also also, I was pretty obsessed with the movie as a kid. And would like to sing the praises of the representation and historical accuracy of the show 🩷
The scene where Carson is talking to Lupé and Jess in the club (what does butch mean? Lol)
The scene where Greta explains what she does to stay safe and what happened to her first love when she was 17. A little sad but it's like Yes! queer people have always existed and this is what they've had to do! It's just a good layer of making it real for Carson and the audience I guess.
The party at Bertie's house and Max experiencing queer joy and gender euphoria for the first time (and also she's so cute waking up with lipstick on her cheek)
4th honorable mention- the moment between Max and Clance when Max leaves. And pretty much every Max and Clance moment. Those two have my whole heart ❤️
And today (and hopefully tomorrow too) I'm just gonna have a lazy day at home. I went to see some of my family and to specifically visit my grandma yesterday so it was a lot of driving and being around people.
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fanficbitch · 4 years ago
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In Another Life // Girl
Aaron Hotchner x y/n
May 2013
I stopped by the OB on the way home to find out the sex of the baby. However, I went alone because Aaron does not want to know. But I’m so excited. I don’t know how I’m going to be able to keep this secret for the next four months.
When I get into the apartment, I throw my bags down on the couch then turn into the kitchen where Aaron is cooking dinner. He sees me for a split second then turns away. “Don’t even look at me, I don’t want any hint of the gender,” he says. 
“Are you just going to avoid looking at me until I have the baby?” I ask as I sit at the counter.
He suddenly realizes how ridiculous he is being and looks at me with a smile. “I guess you have a good point,” he says then pulls a tray out of the oven.
“So what are we eating?” I ask.
“Cheesy chicken,” he says and slides the chicken onto plates.
“Is Jack here?” I ask and suddenly I hear footsteps down the hall getting closer toward me. Jack appears with a large smile.
“Y/N!” he shouts.
“C’mere sweet boy,” I say and hold out my arms. Jack wraps me in a hug and I kiss his head. “How was school?”
He shrugs. “Okay I guess,” he murmurs.
“Just okay?” I ask.
“We had a spelling test. It was hard,” Jack tells me.
“I’ve never been so good at spelling myself buddy,” I say as we move to the table. Aaron slides plates in front of each of us. “Thank you honey,” I say as Aaron sits down at the head of the table.
“It’s nice to make dinner for my two favorite people,” Aaron says as we start eating.
“It’s nice not just eating takeout,” I say then shove chicken in my mouth. Oh my gosh it is so good.
“How is the baby?” Jack asks. Aaron and I exchange glances then I turn to Jack. He is so excited that he asks about the baby nearly everyday at dinner.
“Good, I just went to the doctor and the baby is healthy,” I tell him. I know Aaron is going to kill me for this next part, but I have to say it. “And I know if you’re getting a brother or sister.”
Jack’s face lights up. “Tell me, tell me!” he begs.
“Now hang on,” Aaron says. “You can’t tell Jack and not tell me.”
“Oh, I can tell you whenever you want,” I says.
“You know that’s not what I mean,” Aaron says.
I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out out due to Aaron’s phone going off. “Hotchner,” Aaron says into the phone. I quickly eat a bunch of chicken because I know what’s coming next. “We’ll be right there,” he says then hangs up the phone. “We’re needed in California,” he says then pushes back from the table.
I notice the disappointment in Jack’s face once Aaron leaves. “Don’t worry buddy, I’ll finish eating with you,” I tell him although that doesn’t lighten his mood much.
I notice that Aaron has disappeared down the hall, and then I turn back to Jack. “Do you wanna know a secret?” I ask and Jack nods urgently. “Okay, you have to keep it between me and you. You can’t tell Dad, promise?”
“I promise,” he says.
“Okay, you are going to have a little sister,” I say and Jack’s mouth opens wide.
“Wow,” he says.
“Is that a happy wow or a sad wow?” I ask.
“Happy wow,” he says then continues eating. My heart warms that Jack is so excited and now is excited about having a sister.
“Remember, this is just between you and me,” I remind him.
“Got it,” he tells me.
Aaron comes back down the hallway in his suit. “I called Jess. She’s on her way,” he says.
“Okay, I’ll meet you there as soon as I can,” I say then he leans down to kiss me. “I love you,” I say.
“I love you too,” he tells me then kisses Jack’s head. “I love you buddy. I’ll see you soon.”
“Bye Dad!” Jack shouts as Aaron walks out the door.
                                                        **********
The case we’re currently working gives me creepy vibes, especially now that I’m pregnant. Nannies and the children they have been watching have been kidnapped on the same day for the last six years. Lately, any case with children just freaks me out.
I am currently talking with the parents of Phoebe Payton, the girl who was kidnapped. “But it’s been 24 hours, doesn’t the kidnapper usually return the child by then?” Mrs. Payton asks urgently.
“Yes, but that doesn’t mean we should assume anything. We are still focused on finding Phoebe,” I tell her.
“But she could be dead by now,” Mrs. Payton screeches.
“We’re hoping that she is not,” I say. “Ma’am, just take a few deep breaths and try to calm down.”
Mrs. Payton lets out a scream then bangs her fists on the table. “You don’t even know how hard this is. Do you even have kids?” she asks and I pause.
“Yes, I have a son,” I say.
“Okay, well imagine your son being taken and that your son has asthma and doesn’t have his inhaler,” she says.
“I imagine that would be very difficult,” I say quietly.
“I-I just need a moment alone please,” Mrs. Payton says.
“Of course,” I say then step out of the room.
I join the rest of my team in the conference room of the station. “Did you get anywhere with her?” Rossi asks.
“No, she’s obviously very distressed,” I say.
“Y/N,” Aaron calls from the other end of the room. I yawn as I walk over to him. “I think you should go to the hotel and get some rest.”
“No, I’m okay,” I tell him.
“Fine, I’m making you go to the hotel and rest,” he says. “I’ll be around to check on you in a while.”
“Fine,” I groan then kiss his cheek. “I’ll see you soon.”
                                                         **********
I went to the hotel, but I can’t sleep. I just keep thinking about the case and Phoebe. It was hard enough to talk to Mrs. Payton about her daughter being taken, I can’t imagine actually having your child taken. Shivers run down my spine. Just the thought of losing Jack scares the hell out of me.
The door to my hotel room opens to reveal Aaron. “What are you doing up?” he asks then sits on the side of the bed.
“I can’t sleep,” I say sheepishly. “I just keep thinking of Phoebe. Ever since I got pregnant all these kid cases hit me hard.”
Aaron sighs. “I know, they get me too.”
“I just can’t imagine if this happened to Jack or our baby girl,” I say. Despite my tone, a smile grows on Aaron’s face. “What?” I ask.
“Baby girl?” he asks. I suddenly realize what I have done and my hands cover my mouth.
“Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry,” I say the take his hands.
“Baby girl,” Aaron repeats without making eye contact with me. My hands move to his cheeks.
“What are you thinking?” I ask.
“We’re having a baby girl,” he says quietly.
“Are you okay with that?” I ask carefully.
“O-Of course I am. I’m thrilled about it,” he says and I squeal with excitement.
“We’re having a girl!” I say then press my lips to his. Aaron’s expression suddenly changes.
“Now you really have to get some sleep. I don’t want my girls being up all night,” he warns me. My heart swells at his word choice of girls, plural.
“Fine,” I whisper. “I’ll try just for you.”
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darthkruge · 4 years ago
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hey could you do a jess mariano x reader where the reader has dyslexia but loves to read. someone at school makes a comment about her being dumb and she gets insecure but jess is super reassuring to the reader about how intelligent she is. also they can either be already dating or have mutual crushes. whatever you think fits better. <3
Jess Mariano x Dyslexic!Reader ~ All of You
Summary: Someone at school insults the dyslexic reader and their boyfriend, Jess, provides reassurance. 
Warnings: Bullying, language, insecurities, I think that’s it? 
Words: 2.1k
A/N: Hey!! I’m so, so sorry this took me so long to get to! I hope you don’t mind, I didn’t mean to keep you in the ask box void. I really enjoyed writing this, so thank you for requesting! I decided to make them already be dating because that’s where my brain went hehe. I hope you like it :)
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You walked to school hand-in-hand with your boyfriend, as always. Even though it took him about 15-20 minutes out of the way, Jess never missed walking with you. He hated the thought of you starting your day by yourself and never wanted you to feel forgotten about or lonely. Thus, the tradition began and it has stayed the way you start your day, everyday, for the last few months that you’ve been dating. 
Jess pulled you behind the science building, pressing his lips to yours. Your hands instinctively wove into his hair and his arms wound around your waist, pulling your bodies together. He smiled into the kiss before pulling away from your lips and gently moving his kisses down the side of your neck. You hummed in content before moving to meet his face again, once again pressing your lips to his. 
These stolen moments were what you lived for. You’d never felt too confident in yourself, at least as far as relationships went, and you weren’t used to this kind of affection. Even so, you loved every moment of it. Everything with Jess felt so natural. No matter what, you came first to him and he never failed to show it. 
You both pulled away and he softly kissed your forehead.
“See you after second period?”
“Of course” 
“Okay, love. Text me if you need me. Or if you’re bored. Or if you miss me”
“Oh, yes! That Jess Mariano charm. I’m not sure how I’ll endure two classes without it!”
“I’m sure it’ll prove quite e difficult,” Jess said, laughing. The bell rang and he gave you one last smile before you parted. 
You walked into your English class with a smile on your face, giddy after the experience with him. He made you feel alive. It was the kind of feeling you didn’t know you needed, but once you felt it you couldn’t imagine losing it. 
You sat down in your seat, waiting for the teacher to start class. 
“Okay, everyone. Today we’re just going to be doing some silent reading for the first half of class and then I’ll put you in small groups to work on a new project”
Fuck. Group projects were the fucking worst. Unless you got one of your friends, people were normally assholes and impossible to work with. 
Even though you were upset with the new development, you were excited to have time to read. You pulled out your copy of The Great Gatsby that Jess had lent you and picked up where you last left off. Because you read so much and generally did well or at least half-decent in school, people never assumed you had dyslexia. Lots of people had this false narrative that if you have dyslexia, you must hate reading. It was something you were used to, the stupid comments and assumptions. You tried to not let it get to you but you sometimes felt frustrated. You’d run into loads of ignorant people in your life and while you weren’t ashamed to have dyslexia, you hated having to explain it to every new teacher, every new friend in your life. You never knew how’d they’d react.
Even so, reading was one of your greatest joys in life. Losing yourself in the work, in the story, it was enthralling. You loved to find characters that you connected with. Their emotions were palpable and made you feel validated and less alone. Reading was one of the main things that brought you and Jess together. He knew you had dyslexia and, thankfully, never treated you like you were any less. You were afraid he would break up with you once you told him, but, of course, he didn’t. You were still you, and that’s all he cared about. 
He loved trading books with you and hearing your thoughts on them. In doing so, he felt the two of you were brought closer together. Discussing literature was an almost intimate experience in your relationship. Learning which characters and themes resonated with a person was truly illuminating about their personality and mind. Right now, as you read Gatsby, Jess was reading Pride and Prejudice. You loved Jane Austen, as did Jess, and you completely enjoyed discussing her work. 
After a few moments lost in thought, your teacher’s voice pulled you back to the present. “Alright! Okay so for the group project you will be analyzing the short story “The Lottery” by Shirley Jackson. Please read it together today and discuss what you think the most pertinent theme is. I’ve already assigned the groups and I’ll display them on the board right now.”
Your teacher stepped back and turned on the projector so you could see the groups. Scanning for your name, you internally groaned when you saw who you were with. Sarah, Justin, and Alex. They were all close and their friend group didn’t exactly have the best reputation. You grabbed your bag, walked over to them, and sat down.
“So, y’all just wanna read it? Then just talk about it, I guess. We’re looking for themes, right?” Sarah asked.
Everyone nodded, opening up the copies of the short story placed on your desks. You jumped in and immediately felt yourself pulled into the writing. After a few minutes, your eyes glued to the story, you heard the rest of your group closing their packets. 
“Alright, everyone done?” Justin asked.
“Yeah, you?” Alex said
Sarah nodded in agreement.
You, on the other hand, felt your cheeks flush. You were only about 70% through the story. “Sorry, I just need a bit more time, is that okay?”
“Ugh, fine, whatever. Just hurry up,” Sarah groaned. 
Your face burning, you went back to the reading. It wasn’t like you weren’t trying, you were! They just wouldn’t understand it. You couldn’t count the amount of times people had told you to just “focus more”. It made your blood boil, honestly. It was so dismissive and you couldn't believe people still thought that way. You always focused and it wasn’t your fault, and, yet, morons like these three persisted. After a few more minutes, you heard Alex again.
“Come on! You can’t possibly still be reading?”
“I’m sorry, just-” You sighed, running your hands through your hair. “Please, just a few more minutes?”
“God, you’re so fucking stupid. No wonder no one wants to work with you. All you do is hold people up, you’re a goddamn idiot” Alex said.
Your eyes burned and unshed tears started to push their way up but you fought them down. You wouldn’t let yourself cry in front of them. They didn’t deserve to see how they’d affected you. 
Finally, the bell went off and you were able to leave. Your group glared at you and you realized you  hadn’t discussed the themes. 
“It’s, um, the story’s about the juxtaposition of peace and violence. Even though the people are in a calm, controlled setting, they resort to violence every year. It’s an outdated tradition they keep up and, thus, it highlights the difference between their actions and how they want to be perceived.” You said quickly, voice wavering. 
Your group scoffed before walking off. That didn’t bother you too much. You knew your analysis was accurate and probably far better than anything they could have come up with, even if they’d spent the last 15 minutes of class discussing it. Despite this, you still felt deflated. The shit they’d said, the way they’d treated you? You couldn’t deny it, it got to you. 
You walked over to your locker and put your stuff away. After that, you decided you were just going to go home. You could call the school later and say you were feeling sick or something. Honestly, you couldn’t bring yourself to care. You were just so drained, you needed to get away from this place and the people in it.
However, you didn’t want Jess to worry. You sent him a quick text saying you weren’t feeling well and put on your headphones before walking out of the school.
What you didn’t expect was Jess to come flying out of nowhere, appearing by your side as if you’d summoned him.
“Jess! What are you doing? Don’t you have class!”
He shrugged. “You weren’t feeling well. Did you honestly expect I’d leave you by yourself? And, seriously, Y/N, you know I hate this place. You’re the only thing that makes it bearable so if you  wouldn’t be here, why should I?”
You nodded and kept walking forward. Jess looked at you quizzically, trying to decode your dejected state. He kept quiet, knowing not to push you to talk. He trusted you’d come to him when you were ready. Therefore, he simply followed you until you made it off campus, where you turned into a random alley and suddenly stopped walking.
Jess caught himself, almost running right into you. You suddenly turned around, dropped your bag, and bolted right into his chest. He was caught off guard but instinctively brought his arms around you, trying to comfort you. He noticed you were crying, your broken sobs getting muffled in his shirt. He soothingly rubbed his arms up and down your back, desperately trying to give you solace. After you finally quieted down, Jess gently and slowly pulled you back.
His hands gripped your shoulders as he studied your face, your sad gaze meeting his. “What happened?”
“Stupid English, that’s all”
“Come on, Y/N, don’t shut me out. What happened?” He said, his tone kind.
“I-” You trailed off, trying to keep your composure. “Some kids just said some shit. I was just reading slower than them and they said some shit. It’s not a big deal, I just- it got to me, okay?”
“Who?” Jess said, firmly this time.
“Jess-”
“Who, Y/N?”
“Alex, Justin, and Sarah.” 
Jess groaned, rubbing the heels of his hands over his eyes. “Fuck them, Y/N. They’re fucking ridiculous and they don’t know anything about you”
“I know, I know. That’s why I’m so goddamn frustrated! Because, like, it did get to me. Jess- Jess, they’re right. I felt like an idiot today, I felt stupid. And I hate feeling that way!” Hot tears smarmed in your eyes, the frustration and anger bringing them out. 
Jess’s gaze softened. As livid as he felt toward the three of them, he knew that’s not what you needed right now. 
“Hey, hey, hey. Love, take a breath. I’ve got you, okay?” 
You nodded, your breathing shaky from the stress of the day. 
“I’m sorry that happened today. Listen to me, Y/N. You’re so smart. You’re smarter than I am, hell, you’re smarter than anyone at that school! They’ve got nothing on you!”
You looked at him and smiled at his words but shook your head. “You don’t need to do that, Jess”
“Yes, I do. We promised we’d be honest in our relationship, right? Well, that’s all I’m doing. Seriously, Y/N, who else at that school could debate the themes in literature with me like you? Who could discuss the importance of accurate representation in books with me? Who could talk to me about just how influential YA books are and why they should be taken seriously-?”
“They are and they should!” You cut in.
Jess laughs, nodding in agreement. “Exactly!! You’re amazing, Y/N. And I swear those fuckheads are gonna get what’s coming to them”
“Jess-” You warn.
“Okay, okay!” He laughed, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “They just- they messed with you and made you upset and I fucking hate that”
“I hated it too. I hate doubting myself because of my dyslexia. I feel so shit about myself when I get in that headspace and I start spiraling and it gets out of control so fast.” 
“I know. It’s not your fault when those spirals happen. And I know you know this, but I’m just gonna remind you: you’re not any less because you’re dyslexic. It doesn’t make you stupid or anything. It’s a part of you and I love you, all of you”
Your heart swelled at his words. Everyone thought Jess wasn’t good expressing his emotions but you knew the truth. He was quite eloquent when he wanted to be, he just sometimes had trouble with vulnerability. You didn’t blame him for it, with his past it made perfect sense. But when you needed that reassurement, that compassion, you could always count on him for it. 
He moved to place a kiss on your forehead before slinging his arm around your shoulder. “Let’s go home, okay?”
“Okay” You smiled up at him and kissed him once more before tucking your head into his shoulder. He pulled you closer and you grabbed his free hand with yours as you continued to walk through the Stars Hollow streets together.
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mmikmmik2 · 4 years ago
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If you were to sort the Infinity Train cast(s) into the Major Arcana a la the Persona games, which Arcana would you give everyone?
anon I had SOOOOO much fun thinking about this, thank you so much for sending me this. I sorted all the major characters, plus a few other entries, based on a mix of Arcana symbolism, Persona series character archetypes, and general vibes. I came up with answers I feel pretty good about for all but four of the Arcana. (Was really tempted to say Strength is every human character who doesn't board the train because they can handle their problems on their own lol.) This is going to be a long-winded post, so I thought I’d post just the list as an image (which hopefully won’t be too blurry!) rather than wrestle with Tumblr formatting trying to make a short list, and put a big text wall under the readmore talking more about my picks.
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If this list does end up illegible, the same info is under the readmore as text! Plus some characters for Magician, Strength, Justice, and Death that I didn’t want to add to the “official” list because they’re more based on headcanon. (Although my reasoning for some of the “official” picks is pretty weak lol.)
One-One as 0. The Fool
Oh my gosh, what am I?
IT is great at fleshing out character backstories and families, so One-One at the beginning of S1 is one of the few characters who really feels like a blank slate. He's got a lot of his baggage back by the end of the season, and I think One and One-One are more similar than they seem at first glance, but S1 does seem to have been very formative for One-One and how he thinks about what he's supposed to be doing and how he relates to other people. So it does kind of feel like his fool's journey.
Alrick Timmens as I. The Magician
The magician begins the journey... by beefing it on a dirt bike, dying, and sending his wife flying off the deep end. Rip.
Alrick was an engineer like Amelia, so I could see him suiting some of the themes of the Magician, like conscious thought and manifesting ideas. His apparent playfulness and insecurity are similar to the Magician characters in Persona.
Kez as II. The High Priestess
“We can’t make this decision for you, Kez.” “You know what to do.”
I thought really hard about making Kez the Magician because just like every Magician since Persona 3, she's dumb, horny, and insecure dlkjasfdkl
(and also her showing up at the start of the story arc and being helpful but also super needy is very Magician)
But the idea of "intuition" really does suit Kez. Sometimes her intuition is as bad as her conscious reasoning, but I think that's a lot because she's so confused about what happened with Jeremy, and Morgan making Kez feel like she did a bad thing by helping him.
Tuba as III. The Empress
She made me feel like I was warm all the time.
Tuba's a mom. Sorry, this one's not that deep, haha.
Simon Laurent as IV. The Emperor
Highest number! I'm the leader now.
Simon has a lot of issues, but the one that felt the most prominent to me was his unhealthy relationship with power, authority, dominance, and rules. Another quote I considered using here was what he said in Grace's memory of meeting Amelia: "I never thought I'd get to see the Conductor with my own eyes. He's perfect! Everything finally makes sense again." In his emotional crisis, he thought everything could be fixed just by the existence of a huge, scary, powerful, male authority figure, even if they weren't doing anything helpful or informative.
Atticus as V. The Hierophant
I like to think that our stones are sturdy and handsome, like the Corgis that crafted them.
Atticus is a figure of traditional authority who deeply loves the history, society, and culture of his people. He often provides spiritual wisdom and encourages Tulip to get out of her own head and engage with the world around her. Also in Persona, Hiero is the Dad Arcana so it's very funny to me (a) to make the little dog be Hiero and (b) that the little dog really does have the strongest Wholesome Dad Energy of the whole cast.
Jesse Cosay as VI. The Lovers
Don't tell me what to do. I'm not going to be a part of anything like this, on or off the train.
This was my first and easiest pick lol, Jesse is sooooo Lovers. Like, the focus on choice and personal values and relationships? Yep, that's Jesse. It works on an "actual meaning of the Arcana" level and a "vibes with the Persona characters" level lol... popular, upbeat, and having such an identity crisis.
Lake as VII. The Chariot
I'm my own person, who is getting off this train!
I don't know if Chariot captures all the ways Lake grew over the course of S2, but I feel like they had the most externally focused conflict of all the IT characters, which suits Chariot. They've been fighting to stake out their personhood from start to finish, and they took action and used their willpower to achieve that goal. Also they have at least a little jock energy which is a prereq for Chariot tbh.
Frank as VIII. Strength
I dunno, I kinda imagine him as a simple man and easily underestimated, but with a lot of heart. The Cat may say they're keeping things casual but I don't think she'd take him with her on her private vacation unless he had some kind of inner toughness that would let him stand toe-to-toe with her.
Morgan as IX. The Hermit
I need to be alone right now. Kez... maybe... we can talk later.
I like that Morgan embodies toxic self-isolation and stonewalling and rejection, but that she seems to be moving towards the positive aspects of Hermit and taking some time to calm down and process and think. I like it when characters can embody the best and worst of their Arcana.
Tulip Olsen as X. The Wheel of Fortune
We have to adapt to the changes in our lives. It's the only way things can get better.
Tulip has a lot of themes and conflicts, but this one is a clear standout as the most important. I also like it for Tulip because, while she has to handle a lot of difficult and even traumatic situations, some of the change that challenges her isn't as unambiguously bad as e.g. the death of a loved one. It really is just change itself she's struggling with, and that's Fortune babey. Also, from the perspective of the train itself and lots of other characters, by reversing Amelia and One-One's positions again and changing how One-One administrates the train, Tulip is the one giving the wheel a spin. That's fun.
Lucy as XI. Justice
One of my friends once described the Justice characters in Persona as "the ones the player character is ultimately accountable towards", and I like to think of Lucy as kind of being that for Grace (...since Hazel has excused herself). Lucy is the Apex kid we see Grace interact with the most, the first Apex kid Grace admitted to herself that she had harmed (see Grace very briefly showing distress and then regret when Jesse points the harpoons at his face and she stops him), and the first person to confront Grace when she came home in The New Apex.
Min-Gi Park as XII. The Hanged Man
I don't know if we'll sell a single album, but we'll figure that out as we go.
Min-Gi sacrifices his "realistic", "sensible" goals for a more personally (spiritually, even?) enriching life that's beyond his control and outside of the expected norm. Like the Hanged Man, who dangles foolishly upside-down, but as a deliberate choice and in a state of serenity and enlightenment. I also think this arcana suits a reading of Min-Gi's character development as starting off going slower as a way to stall and live in denial, but then going slower with deliberation. Compare his arrogant insistence on refusing to act in The Astro Queue Car to his patience and care in The Castle Car and The Train to Nowhere.
Jeremy as XIII. Death
This isn't about the death of his family - I'm thinking of his reluctance to admit his number was going down. He cared about Morgan and Kez, and it's possible both that he may have really wanted to stay with them despite his exit and that that might even have been a healthy choice - they're real ass people with feelings and everything, not holodeck characters. But I also think Jeremy was using his life with them to avoid moving on out of that fog (because it was hard and it hurt and he didn't want to think about what that would mean for him and Morgan) and Morgan was enabling him.
Ryan Akagi as XIV. Temperance
Maybe the experience is the point. I wasn't just rushing you. I was rushing myself.
I think this one speaks for itself. Also, the other quote I considered putting here, from The Art Gallery Car: "You told me I can't appreciate the song without taking in the rest of the album. I need the whole package."
The Cat as XV. The Devil
I always do the right thing.
Honestly, this is one I really wasn't sure about. The Cat isn't a great pick for a lot of the meanings of Devil. She is definitely consumed by material comforts, and the short-term rewards of ignoring her issues at a long-term cost, though. This is more of a "vibes with Persona characters with this arcana" pick... Devil characters tend to start off being somewhat exploitative or even antagonistic towards the player character, and gradually showing a more conflicted and genuine side.
Amelia Hughes as XVI. The Tower
There's a hole in the universe where Alrick used to be.
Amelia's life is defined by catastrophe and upheaval - both those she's suffered and those she's inflicted on others.
Hazel as XVII. The Star
I'm going to keep loving you like you're still here.
When I think of "The Star" as a small but inextinguishable light in the darkness, Hazel seems like the obvious choice. Although we left her deeply wounded, I think she still has a flicker of her hope, faith, and purpose.
Grace Monroe as XVIII. The Moon
But it's unfair for me to tell you how to understand yourself. I mean, I don't even fully understand me.
Grace is probably the most complex and dynamic character on the show and hence one of the most difficult to place. I considered Empress, Strength, Devil, and Judgement for her... I think ultimately, lies and illusions are the most unifying theme of her character arc. Also, from a Persona angle, her pursuit of status out of a lack of true self-worth reminds me of Ai and Mishima.
Alan Dracula as XIX. The Sun
Brought together by the majesty of a superpowered deer!
I'm sorry dkjasfklads this is largely because I thought it was funny to have this completely inexpressive dead-eyed deer as Sun akfk but also... like... it kind of works okay!!! Think about the genuine joy and comfort and positivity he brings to Lake and Jesse (and me)!
The New Apex as XX. Judgement
"Then what are we gonna be?" "Guess we'll have to figure it out?"
This is kind of a Persona mythology gag again because of Judgement being a group social link near the end of the narratives of P3 and P4, when the protagonists have pierced through the lies and actually figured out who the villain of their game is and are ready to really start making progress.
0 as XI. The World
Ah, train does it again!
It's an ending and the completion of a journey, but also the beginning of a new one. And the world is literally what the passengers receive at the end of their train journey. Welcome home.
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the-green-maiden · 4 years ago
Text
Supernatural Fair Fight Livestream Recap with timestamps
(based off of the notes I took while watching live. any errors are mine and not the fault of the cast or abrams)
21:01 Panel Starts. Misha introduces panel- Stacey Abrams, Jensen Ackles, Jared Padelecki, Erik Kripke, Berto the ASL interpreter.
21:02 Stacey Abrams talks about how she got into SPN. Talks about running for governor(?) in California(?), having trouble gathering support/campaign funds. On a particularly bad day, ends up watching SPN in her hotel room. Loves it, ends up watching the whole show after this. Quotes “Even if it’s hard we can’t stop” and “who else is going to do this” and talks about keeping going.
21:05 Kripke: “Wow”
Ackles: “That’s one of the most beautiful interpretations of what we do, how we tell the story.”
21:06 Kripke: “Grateful we could provide inspiration” 
21:07 JarPad: *reiterates above* joke about how “Kripke’s writing is questionable at best.”
21:08 Misha: “The reason we tell stories is to inspire people” creates an allegory about the ‘invisible enemy’ of voter suppression with the invisible enemy trope common in storytelling. “As we made the show, we were taking inspiration from [Abrams]”
21:09 Kripke asks Abrams to tell more about Fair Fight
21:09 Abrams talks about a secretary of state(?) [whose name I didn’t catch but who JPad refers to as ‘Lucifer”] who was in charge of voter registries in Georgia who wrongfully removed thousands of voters from lists, closed essential polling locations, and prevented people from voting, which disproportionately impacted POC and youth voters, and led to 8+ hour wait times in remaining locations. Abrams tells of how her and FF acted to fix this and change the whole system for the better. “If this becomes about politicians, no one is going to care, but when it becomes about people’s [list of basic rights and essential services]...” “...Patriotic belief that democracy means that if you’re eligible to vote, you get to be heard. Fair Fight is committed to ensuring that every voter in the US has the right to vote, and we are pretty good at it.”
21:16 Misha voices concerns about Trump’s attempts to make the 2020 vote counts seem unreliable.
21:17 Abrams gives an in-depth history of voter suppression in the US, committed by both parties at various times, including restrictions on mail-in votes, ID laws, and something about the voting rights act.
21:18 A bunch more panelists join in, including Jake Abel, Felicia Day, and a number of other SPN cast members.
21:19 Abrams says that in Texas a gun license is a valid id to vote, but a college id is not. “Everyone should get to participate, not just the chosen.” Mentions that she has not seen the final 3 episodes yet, request no spoilers until she logs out.
21:22 Kripke thanks Abrams for her political work.
21:22 Felicia Day says she was very excited to meet Abrams at Dragon Con.
21:33 Misha and Kripke try to move panel along to comply with Abrams limited time availability.
21:24 Rachel Miner “We all admire you [Abrams], you’re our hero.”
21:25 JPad gives a long speech thanking Abrams that was too fast to write down verbatim. “It’s important that everyone have their own voice” says it’s an honor to meet Abrams.
21:26 Bob Singer asks a question about Purdue(?) not showing up to a debate.
21:27 Abrams gives a detailed answer about swing states, swing voters, the lack of swing voters in Georgia, and the relatively small impact that Purdue(?) missing a debate would have on his numbers. Long speech about mail-in voting.
21:29 Sebastian Roche asks a question about run-off votes. Abrams answers.
21:30 Rachel Miner asks a question about voter registration descrimination against people w foreign names.
21:31 Abrams talks about how this has happened and what Fair Fight is doing to combat it, and how Fair Fight’s legal actions have managed to significantly reduce the amount of mail-in ballots thrown out for having difficult to understand names on them.
21:33 Shoshanna Stern thanks Abrams for her efforts in making voting more disability accessible.
21:34 Abrams answers, gives more info on the subject and the importance of having accessible voting locations.
21:36 Jim Beaver says it’s wonderful to be able to talk to Abrams, etc.
21:37 Abrams realizes her time has just about run out, and says thank yous and good byes. Mentions that tomorrow is her birthday. Multiple members of the cast wish her a happy birthday. More goodbyes from everyone, and thank yous to and from Abrams. Abrams exits call.
21:39 Kripke and Misha encourage people to donate to FF
21:41 Misha and Jensen rib each other, joke about an open bar.
21:41 Misha “Now we’re just going to waste your time for half an hour now that she’s gone”
21:42 Curtis Armstrong tells a short story about his mother, who was a voter activist in Detroit and Switzerland, and how nice it was to see Abrams talk.
21:43 Trivia intro. Multiple jokes made at the same time about state capitals.
21:44 Jim Beaver “When my kid was 7, I asked her the capital of Vermont and she said V”
21:44 Kripke asks semi-serious question about what JPad wore as protection in the ball-crusher Japanese game show scene in Changing Channels.
21:45 JPad “A thimble. A mini-thimble. No, a cup.” says something else about the cup.
21:46 Ackles “Our special effects team likes to go above and beyond”
21:46 JPad comments about real fear in that scene
21:46 Misha tries to get trivia back on track. “Without powers, what does Dean say Cas is?”
------[Baby in a trenchcoat]
“Other name of the Impala?”
Julie McNiven guesses “A special place”. Someone calls out “baby”
-----[Metallicar]
“Name of Sam and Jess’s friend who goes with them to the bar in the pilot?”
Even JPad, who was in the scene, does not know. Kripke comments that it was named after an irl friend of his from Tiuanna, named LUIS.
“5 works Kripke ripped off for SPN?”
Everyone guessing at once, including: Animal House, On The Road, Good Omens, Constantine, Star Wars, and several others.
“What herpes medication does Sam have to do a commercial for?”
[Herpexia]
21:52 JPad and Julie rib each other about herpes meds, and argue whether the term is prescription or subscription for medication. One of them brings up the example of having a subscription to dog food.
21:52 Jake Abel “What if your dog has herpes?”
Misha “I only hope that Stacey Abrams has tuned in”
Seb makes another joke about state capitals, then asks JPad the capital of Albania.
Jared has no idea, guesses ‘new albania’
Seb “Tirana” talks about having lived on a boat, presumably near Albania.
Rob Benedict: “Thanks for tuning in”
Bob Singer asks who knows the story of Seb getting a massage at VAncouver airport.
Jared (paraphrased) “We all fly through Vancouver airport a lot. Just past security there’s a massage place [with the chairs where you face the floor].” One day JPad and Ackles went through security and saw Seb getting a massage. They go over, convince the masseuse [who knows them all at this point] to let JPad take over. Seb does not notice, despite the fact that the masseuse is a small woman and JPad is holding his hands weird to try to make them smaller. JPad says he put his hands down Seb’s back and up his shirt, and Seb still did not notice, just making a noise and saying ‘very nice’. JPad gets as far as groping Seb’s ass before Seb notices anything is up. This is still the middle of a busy airport.
21:58 Seb “It was strangely sensual. Thank you, Robert, for bringing that up.” “I was perturbed for the whole flight back.”
Ackles “Another highbrow story”
Seb “It’s really fun being on that set. It really is” Claims they are also serious sometimes, to which there is laughter in response.
Ackles “It going to be like that on The Boys, Krip?”
Kripke “No massages to completion”
Seb “Wait there was no completion”
Krip “Saw photos of [Ackles’s] supersuit today”
Multiple jokes from several people about Ackle costume for The Boys being assless, crotchless, entirely made of paint, and cowboy-themed.
22:01 Misha “time for about 5 minutes of outtakes”
Someone jokes about adding ‘give Seb a massage’ as a donation tier.
Misha thanks the fans, says he loves and misses all the cast. Asks Rob B to sing.
22:02 Rob B “tune into my radio show” [for singing]
22:03 Misha announced that $225,000 has been raised for charity so far in the stream.
More thank yous from everyone to everyone, including the zoom team.
22:04 Seb “Vote out Mitch McConnel:
Jensen “Such as British accent to tell us who to vote for”
Seb “I’m half French half Scottish”
Jensen and Seb joke about scottish and french alcohols, and how they can’t be mixed.
22:05 Kripke thanks the fans for 15 years. Everyone else joins in on thanking fans for 15 years.
Jake Abel “There was a big gap in there for me somewhere”
Seb asks if Jake was in the first season.
22:06 Jake “3rd, 5, and 15”
Seb gives long thank you speech.
Jensen talks about how the cast is sticking together “This group is not being dispersed”...”I take comfort in knowing this” jokes that they’re stuck together whether they like it or not.
Misha “Like herpes”
Felicia “Genital or otherwise”
22:07 gag reel begins, including Misha’s ‘on-camera finger, Jensen falling off a chair “furniture could use some work”, Jensen failing to pick a lock for a very long time and Jared asking ‘Cas” to open it, Jensen saying ‘hail misha’ instead of ‘hail mary’, Misha failing to keep a straight face while looking at Alex Calvert, Jensen eating something too hot(?), and more that someone has probably already uploaded in full anyway.
21:13 stream ends.
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raflesia65 · 3 years ago
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OC interview: Diana Trevelyan
I was tagged by @noire-pandora thank you lovely, for this opportunity to talk a little about Diana.
Being now the inquisitor Diana must also endure the interviews that Josephine organizes for her, it is a duty to which she cannot exempt herself.
Introduction
Can you introduce yourself?
"Okay, I'm Diana Trevelyan and I'm the leader of the inquisition."
What is your gender identity, orientation, and relationship status?
"But how curious we are! Sorry (laughs), but I won't tell you anything personal, I'm a private person."
Where and when were you born?
"I was born 30 years ago in Ostwick in the Free Marches and I belong to the Trevelyan family, my father is the Bann of the area."
What is your weapon of choice and fighting style?
"I am a sword and shield warrior and I took the path of the Champion when I specialized."
And finally, are you happy?
"You ask me if I'm happy? I treasure the little things, but with a war going on, talking about happiness is a bit risky. But there are moments and people that are important to me that often make me happy."
Family and friends
What is your family like? What is your relationship like with them?
"My family if you mean mom and dad are in Ostwick and I haven't seen them since all the chaos of the conclave broke out. I miss them. Mom is a sweet and patient woman, endowed with a grace that I lack. Dad a little sterner, you know he's the Bann and he has a reputation to keep, but he's very affectionate with me. When I look at him as a puppy he can't resist me (ed: he smiles, but his gaze is veiled with melancholy). Then there are my beloved brothers Jaden and Eleonora. Eleonora is the youngest, she is 20 and is a bookworm, she loves to study unlike me and Jaden, who have studied yes, but how could we we escaped and went to train in the barracks. Jaden is my twin, he is very protective of me so much so that he has joined me and being skilled with daggers and the bow now works for Leliana our spymaster".
Have you ever run away from home?
"No, but I've traveled a lot, so I've been away from home for months."
Would you want to get married or have children?
"Maybe someday who knows. Now I don't even dare to think about it."
Do you secretly hate any of your friends?
"Hate. But what a big word. No I don't hate any of my friends. They are my friends and hate is a feeling that does not belong to me. I like to be clear so I never leave anything unfinished with anyone"
What friend knows everything about you?
"My brother, we grew up together."
Asked by fans
Can you read and write? Did you go to school?
"Yes, yes and yes. I am the daughter of the Bann I had no escape"
The scariest prediction you made that later came true?
"Before the conclave I had a life, I traveled. Now I travel again, but to close the breaches and honestly I have so much to do that I have no idea what will happen tomorrow, much less make predictions."
What is something you embarrassingly realised too late?
"When I asked Commander Cullen about certain vows of chastity. OMG how embarrassed, but by now I had asked him. But his face was very funny hahaha !! Ehmm let's go back to the interview."
Do you have mental or physical problems?
"No, I'm in perfect health."
What’s your main goal right now?
"End this conflict and return Thedas to a normal life."
Choices
Drink or eat?
"What? Obviously both, without food and water you can't go anywhere."
Cats or dogs?
"Cats, dogs, horses, goats, chickens, donkeys, sheep, nugs, fennecs, etc. etc. I love them all."
Optimist or pessimist?
"Absolutely optimistic."
Sassy or sarcastic?
"Sometimes sarcastic, but only if you annoy me."
HAVE YOU EVER:
Been caught sneaking out?
"More than once. As a girl I ran away from my teachers with Jaden. Now I try to sneak out of the war room, but Leliana always stops me."
Broken a bone?
"Lately often, thank goodness there are healing mages."
Did you get flowers?
"I love flowers and someone often gives them to me, but I won't tell you who it is. I am a private person."
Ghosting someone?
"What?"
You pretended to laugh at a joke you did not get?
"It is difficult for me not to understand a joke, I like to joke and I am very self-deprecating."
I tag @princessvicky01 @gugle1980 @pookydraws @charlatron @aricazorel @kemvee @charmcity-jess @jentrevellan @jonogueira @jellysharkbat @elellan @tessa1972 @a-shakespearean-in-paris and anyone who wants to play. No pressure , just fun!!
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melanielocke · 3 years ago
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Lost in the Shadows - Chapter 17
AO3
Taglist: @nott-the-best @foxglove-airmid @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @justanormaldemon @styxdrawings @ipromiseiwillwrite @a-dream-dirty-and-bruised
Previous Chapter: Chapter 16
Next Chapter: Chapter 18
Lucie spent the rest of the afternoon in the garden trying to figure out how to do magic. It didn’t help that she had no idea what she was doing or how magic worked and instead she was just trying some methods she remembered from her favorite books. So far, nothing happened. After some time, Jessamine came outside to watch.
‘What are you doing?’ she asked.
‘Trying to do magic,’ Lucie answered, a little frustrated with her lack of progress. ‘You don’t happen to have any clue how that works?’
Jessamine looked shocked. ‘About magic? Of course not, why would you think such a thing. I’m a good Christian.’
Lucie guessed she should have suspected such a thing. ‘Jess, in all the time that you’ve been here, was I the only one who could see you?’
Jessamine thought for a while.
‘Actually, no,’ she said. ‘There was someone else, years ago. The sister of Mr. Gray. She travelled to the manor shortly after my death, to express her condolences to my family, and she could see me and spoke to me.’
Mr. Gray’s sister… Her mother couldn’t see ghosts, but perhaps she was somehow distantly related to his woman and to Jessamine’s old suitor through her mother. Perhaps that power did travel in families.
‘And was there anything else she could do?’ Lucie asked.
‘I don’t know,’ Jessamine said. ‘Mr. Gray always thought his sister was odd, occupied with things not suitable for a young lady. She rarely came to balls, even if she was old enough to be out and looking for suitors. But he thought discussing what his sister was up to would be inappropriate for the proper ladies present, such as myself.’
‘She must have been a witch too then,’ Lucie speculated.
Jessamine looked horrified. ‘Witches don’t really exist, do they? Mr. Gray’s sister was certainly odd, everyone knew that, but I never thought she could be a witch.’
‘Jess, you’re literally a ghost. And I can see you and speak with you, just like Mr. Gray’s sister did. When I’m near you can pick up hair brushes, which you normally can’t.’
‘All this time, you’ve been bewitching me?’ Jessamine asked, her voice small.
‘No, not like that,’ Lucie said. ‘That wasn’t something I did intentionally, and I never forced you into anything. Although I’m thinking maybe I could. Jess, my friend is in danger and I need to save him. Are you willing to help me?’
Jessamine looked reluctant. ‘What will you do to me?’
‘Just test a few things, figure out what I can do,’ Lucie said. ‘I’ve always made you stronger, I have no idea what you could do with my help.’
She looked down, resigned. ‘Alright, Lucie. I will see what I can do. What is it that you ask of me?’
Lucie looked around, and noticed a stick lying on the ground.
‘Can you pick that up?’ she asked, pointing.
Jessamine looked confused, but bent down and picked up the stick, holding it in her hands. Usually, ghosts could pick up things they cared for around her. In Jessamine’s case, hairbrushes and dolls. Lucie didn’t think Jessamine cared much for sticks.
‘That looks odd,’ Thomas, who was sitting in a garden chair next to Alastair, commented. ‘Like you just made the stick float.’
‘Yes,’ Lucie said. ‘But that’s not exactly helpful, is it? Jessamine, can you touch Thomas? Usually you’d pass through him.’
Jessamine dropped the stick and rubbed her hand even if there was no dirt remaining on her ghostly form. She walked over to Thomas, who'd stood up out of his chair, and shook his hand, curtsying politely. Thomas yelped, which indicated that he could feel her. Interesting.
‘Do gentlemen not kiss a lady’s hand anymore?’ Jessamine asked.
Thomas turned red, and lifted his hand up, taking Jessamine’s hand with him, and kissed her. To Lucie, this looked relatively normal, but Thomas couldn’t see Jessamine. This had to be awkward. Jessamine let go of Thomas’ hand.
‘It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, sir,’ Jessamine said.
Lucie repeated Jessamine’s words to Thomas.
‘Ah, it is a pleasure to meet you too, miss,’ Thomas said, looking over her head instead of at her.
Lucie sometimes wondered if Thomas got neck cramps from having to look down whenever he was talking to other people.
Jessamine let go of Thomas’ hand. ‘In my day, the gentlemen certainly had better manners,’ she snorted.
Lucie started laughing. ‘Jessamine is not impressed by your manners, Tom,’ she said.
Thomas turned an even deeper red. ‘I am terribly sorry, miss, that my manners are not up to your standard. Wait, is she still there?’
Jessamine scoffed. ‘I’ll never understand the gentlemen of this century. If you can call them that. People are so contradictory. I always felt like public displays of affection are frowned upon nowadays, especially between gentlemen, even if they are very close friends. But your two gentlemen seem to be very affectionate and improper with each other.’
Lucie started laughing. She suspected Jessamine had seen Alastair and Thomas kiss each other the other day, she’d seemed very shocked by it, but Lucie didn’t realize she’d interpreted them as having a very intimate friendship. Some decades before Jessamine lived, such a thing had been more normalized though, known as the romantic friendship. Although Lucie suspected at least some of those “romantic friendships” were really concealed gay relationships. ‘Oh no, that is not considered normal in this day, but Alastair and Thomas are not simply close friends.’
Jessamine looked absolutely horrified and Lucie decided to change the subject. She did not feel like discussing sexuality with a ghost from the Victorian era, she didn’t think that conversation would end without anyone getting hurt or offended.
‘What did she say?’ Thomas asked.
‘Jess is very confused about the gentlemen of this day. Usually they are not so affectionate towards each other as you are with Alastair,’ Lucie summarized.
‘I,’ Alastair announced, ‘am very glad to live in this day and age and not whatever century this lady must have been from.’
Lucie could imagine, the modern day might still be a mess but she would certainly prefer it over being a 19thcentury lady. She imagined she would have married young, a gentleman she’d thought she was fond of, but didn’t really feel romantic attraction to, and then she’d be trapped. That wouldn’t happen to her main character Eloise though. Eloise and Mabel would find a way, although of course writing a story about a sapphic couple in the 19th century had its limitations in their happy ending.
‘So Jess can touch objects and people who don’t see her,’ Lucie continued. ‘Anyone has any other ideas?’
‘Could you make her visible to us?’ Alastair asked.
‘Jess, show yourself,’ Lucie said.
Jessamine frowned. ‘I don’t know how to do that.’
Nothing happened, at least not that Lucie could tell.
‘She looks a lot like I pictured her,’ Thomas said.
‘I thought her hair would be darker,’ Alastair commented. ‘I don’t think bleach for hair existed back then, and I’m pretty sure no one has hair that’s naturally this light.’
‘I think it depends on where you’re from,’ Thomas said. ‘Light blonde hair is more common in Northern Europe.’
Cordelia snorted. ‘Just because you used to bleach your hair, does not mean everyone who is blonde does the same.’
Thomas frowned. ‘You bleached your hair?’
‘I dyed it back to black, and it’s mostly grown out now,’ Alastair said. ‘It was too much effort to maintain, I had to touch up the roots every four weeks. It looked good though.’
‘It did not look good,’ Cordelia commented. ‘He looked like a turnip.’
Lucie’s eyes went wide. It worked. They were seeing Jessamine. Lucie was feeling a little faint, but did not let it distract her.
‘Come on, pay attention. You’re looking at a ghost for the first time in your life, isn’t that more interesting than Alastair’s hair?’ Lucie shouted.
‘Almost,’ Thomas said. ‘Have you seen Alastair’s hair?’
Alastair rolled his eyes. ‘Let’s pay attention to the ghost. Alright, blonde people are real. And her dress is very nice, I always liked the bustle style.’
‘You can see me?’ Jessamine’s smile lit up. ‘Oh this wonderful. It is such a long time since a gentleman has been able to see me. And it is a lovely dress, I had it made when I visited Paris with my mama.’
She pronounced Paris the way the French did. Lucie knew Jessamine loved to talk about her gowns, although she wasn’t fond of modern clothes. She wore a green day dress with a bustle, something Lucie imagined was a bit unpractical. So many layers. Not to mention the corset.
Alastair looked up thoughtfully. ‘How long do you imagine she’ll stay visible, Lucie?’ he asked. ‘What about if you step away from here? Go inside?’
Lucie took several steps away from Jessamine, taking hold of the door to open it.
‘She’s gone,’ Thomas said.
Lucie turned around and walked to Jessamine. ‘What about now?’ she asked.
‘Nothing,’ Cordelia said. ‘I think once she disappears, you need to ask her to become visible again.’
‘Show yourself,’ Lucie repeated.
‘There she is,’ Alastair said. ‘She looks surprisingly human. I always thought ghosts would be more transparent like in movies.’
‘If they were, do you think I would have mistaken ghosts for living people?’ Lucie asked. ‘If you look carefully, ghosts have a bit of a shimmer but beyond that they look just like people.’
‘Living people, that is,’ Jessamine said. ‘I consider myself a person still, thank you very much.’
‘Of course you are a person,’ Thomas confirmed, indicating that he could hear as well as see her. ‘It is odd to think you’ve been here for such a long time, and always invisible.’
‘It has been very difficult,’ Jessamine said. ‘For a long time, no one could see me until Lucie came here. And modern times are so confusing. Why do ladies wear clothes that reveal their ankles at all times? Worse, the knees? In my day, the occasional ankle slip was to be expected, of course, but visibility of the calves and knees was unheard of. Have people lost all sense of propriety?’
‘Because it’s more practical to not wear floor length dresses all the time,’ Lucie said. ‘Also, no one cares about ankles nowadays. Or knees.’
Lucie did like wearing dresses and skirts, but didn’t like them too long. She was short and therefore the hem always dragged over the ground, which meant she either tripped over the skirt or got it dirty when she wore it outside.
‘But it’s so improper,’ Jessamine insisted, horrified. ‘How could people just stop caring about such things? If this continues, it will not be long until humans go out with no clothes at all and society will fall into chaos.’
‘Now that is generally frowned upon,’ Alastair said. ‘I do not expect that to happen anytime soon.’
‘It would be uncomfortable,’ Cordelia added. ‘And also very cold. The point of clothes is to stay warm.’
‘Does anyone have an idea on how to open a gateway to the land in between?’ Lucie asked. ‘Because that is different from what I can ask of ghosts.’
Cordelia frowned. ‘Maybe you could ask Jessamine.’
‘Jess, can you open a gateway to the land in between for me?’ Lucie asked.
Jessamine frowned. ‘I’m sorry, I do not understand what you ask of me.’
That wasn’t it, then. Lucie guessed opening the gateway was something she’d have to do herself. Making Jessamine visible, that was also something she did, she commanded it and Jessamine could not do it without her. Then perhaps it was about commanding.
‘Or you could ask for a gateway,’ Thomas suggested.
‘Like, open sesame?’ Lucie asked.
‘Be specific,’ Alastair added. ‘What is it that you want to happen? Perhaps Thomas is right, perhaps all you have to do is ask.’
Lucie tried to remember what Grace said, that her magic was dark magic. Perhaps she needed to ask the darkness, or shadows, or something like it? Grace had hinted at this too. Careful what you wish, you just might get it.
‘Darkness, open a gateway to the land in between that is only open to myself, Thomas Lightwood, and Alastair and Cordelia Carstairs,’ Lucie said, remembering to be detailed. Perhaps that was what Grace had warned her about, that what she asked for would happen but not the way she’d intended. ‘A gateway that will not close until all four of us made it back safely to our world.’
It didn’t look like a gateway exactly. There was just a hint of shadow, and when it touched Lucie her friends disappeared. There were no ruins here, the change was subtle beyond her friends being gone. The air was just a touch darker, the breeze a little colder. Some of the color had faded, the grass was a bit duller. There was a fog hovering above the ground. The house was still there, but from here she should be able to see her father’s car and that was gone.
Cordelia, Thomas and Alastair appeared beside her, Cordelia with cortana in hand.
‘I don’t see any ruins,’ Thomas commented.
‘I think the land in between is layered over our land,’ Lucie said. ‘So perhaps to find those ruins, I need to open a portal around where the ruins are. Or I guess we could walk there, but then we’d leave a portal open here and we’d have to walk all the way back once we find it in this world.’
‘I imagine you could open another portal,’ Alastair said. ‘But finding the place the ruins should be in our world and then opening a portal is likely safer. Come, we should get back. This place doesn’t feel right.’
Alastair had a point. Lucie looked around to the way back. In their own world, the gateway looked like a shadow. Here it was a ray of light in an otherwise dark and gloomy environment. She watched her friends step into the light and disappear and then Lucie followed.
The four of them were back in the normal world, her parents both in the garden, concerned. The gate of darkness disappeared behind her. Lucie had asked it not to close until all of them were back, she guessed on its own it didn’t stay open for long and would close if she didn’t stop it. She made a mental note of that, she didn’t want to have to open another portal while they were being attacked by something. The portal closing behind her while all four of them were back was a good way to make sure nothing else came through.
She was feeling a bit more faint than before, light headed. She should have expected using magic would come at a price, but perhaps it was like exercise and she could improve her magic stamina.
‘Where did you just come from?’ Tessa asked.
Lucie looked around for help, but figured since this was her power she was to explain it. She started with Grace visiting again, with her telling her that she had more power than she knew and that she could open a gate.
‘I figured out how to do it,’ Lucie concluded. ‘So we can go into the woods and find Grace’ skin.’
‘Are you sure you don’t want us to come along?’ Will asked.
Lucie considered it, but it was a long time since her father had fought anything and her mother had barely any experience. It wouldn’t be safer with them there. Cordelia had a sword, Lucie was the only one who could open the gateway, and Grace seemed under the impression that it was also necessary for Alastair to come, that his memory would be essential. At least one person with the sight would also be useful.
‘I think it’s better if you didn’t,’ Lucie said. ‘But there’s something else you could do in the meantime. According to Cordelia and Alastair, their father has lots of notebooks from their ancestors, and one must have described a witch similar to me. Perhaps you could call Elias, or uncle Jem, and ask for them.’
Will frowned. ‘Do you think Elias would help us now? He was so opposed to Cordelia coming here with us before.’
Cordelia hadn’t been allowed to come at first, but then her mother had moved out and taken her children with her and her father couldn’t stop her anymore. Sona had decided it would be good for both her children to have some time away and had encouraged them to go. Lucie agreed it was unlikely Elias would be any help on his own accord. She couldn’t say she understood him or his relationship with his children well, all she knew was the damage it had done to Alastair and Cordelia.
‘Father does listen to Jem at times,’ Alastair said stiffly. ‘I think perhaps he could reason with him.’
‘I’ve been meaning to call Jem anyway,’ Will said. ‘If you do not return before dinner, we will come looking for you.’
‘I could leave the gate open for you,’ Lucie said. ‘But we cannot be sure about the time. It doesn’t run the same way, we could spend only a couple of hours there and we’d be missing for a whole day. We cannot keep track of time in there.’
‘Dinnertime,’ Will repeated. ‘I won’t blame you if you’re not back, but we will come looking.’
‘Perhaps we should go tomorrow,’ Alastair suggested and Lucie wondered if maybe after this morning, he did not feel up for it and needed rest. ‘I think it is unlikely we will finish before that time, and if we go tomorrow early in the morning, it is far more likely we can finish before dinnertime.’
Lucie had to admit his line of reasoning had merit, even if she was impatient to get out there. Besides, that gave her time to practice. Cordelia returned to her practice with cortana, whereas Lucie tried asking the darkness for other favors. She practiced opening and closing gate. The gateways all worked and did what she asked of them, but it was tiring though. After four more gates Lucie collapsed onto a garden chair and took to watching Cordelia practice, too tired to get up. Perhaps Alastair had a point in postponing going for the skin, and she imagined even if he was feeling better now that he was exhausted after this morning. She’d had a break down on a rare occasion, autism and stubbornness didn’t always go well together, but never as bad as Alastair had. She knew how exhausting it could be.
Cordelia’s stamina had to be a lot better than Lucie’s, because she kept going for a long time and didn’t seem to get tired. She certainly had a weak spot for girls with swords, and Lucie made a note to use that in one of her novels. Cordelia had tied back her dark red hair in a high ponytail, and was wearing a wide shirt tucked into a pair of jean shorts, something a bit more practical than Lucie’s yellow jumpsuit. Well, it was comfortable to walk around in, but a struggle to go to the bathroom. Cordelia had begun to break a sweat, a few drips on her forehead, but that didn’t stop her. Perhaps later she’d want to go swimming to cool down. Thinking of water, Lucie realized she hadn’t drunk anything in a while. And considering Cordelia had been training for some time, she had to be dehydrated.
‘Do you want something to drink?’ Lucie asked.
‘I could use a glass of water,’ Cordelia said. ‘I always forget to drink when I’m training.’
Fortunately, Lucie was there to make sure Cordelia drank enough water. She tended to forget herself too, especially when she was busy writing. Sometimes she’d complain of a headache, only to realize she hadn’t drunk anything since breakfast.
She went inside to find Alastair and Thomas were about to leave, both carrying a bag.
‘Where are you going?’ Lucie asked.
‘Just to the lake,’ Thomas said. ‘We won’t go too far into the lake, but it’s getting too warm pretty much everywhere. Maybe you and Cordelia can join us later when you’re done training.’
‘I’ll ask Cordelia,’ Lucie promised. ‘Have fun, in the meantime.’
She returned outside with two glasses of water, putting one on the table.
‘The boys have gone swimming,’ Lucie said. ‘Thomas said we were welcome to join once we’re done.’
‘Sure,’ Cordelia said. ‘Just let me finish.’
Cordelia went through a few more repeats of her training, and then transformed cortana back into its necklace form.
‘I get tired a lot sooner than you,’ Lucie admitted.
‘I can’t do magic,’ Cordelia said. ‘I have no idea how exhausting opening or closing a gateway is. I imagine it is a lot more work than simply swinging a sword.’
Lucie guessed perhaps that was true, magic ought to have some limitations. If not, then how could Cordelia’s ancestor have defeated the witch from Grace’ story? ‘I’m curious what else I can do. Grace said something about controlling the dead and making them fight, but that seems a bit unethical. Jessamine isn’t a fighter, and I’d never make her fight something on my behalf.’
‘It depends on the situation, I guess,’ Cordelia said. ‘We don’t know what it takes to stop Tatiana and save Thomas.’
‘No, but I do need to draw moral lines for myself,’ Lucie said. ‘I feel bad for that witch from the story, and I don’t want to end up like her. I don’t want us to become enemies.’
Cordelia took her hand. ‘I’ll never become your enemy, Lu.’
‘Then I guess I’ll have to stay on the safe side of that ethical line. I know how easy it can be, to have the end justify the means, but that’s something I’d rather save for my stories.’
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darlingpeter · 4 years ago
Text
grayscale.
the reader faces the aftermath of losing a close friend, and sweet boyfriend matt knows just how to get through to you when you need another perspective.
this fic is a labor of love. although this story is fictional, please know that you are never alone in the hardships that you are facing, and there is a wonderful community of people out there whose inboxes and messages are always open if you need advice, to vent, or just to get bad stuff off of your chest. you are worthy of love and the space and support that you need to heal. 
pairing: matt murdock x reader, best friend jessica jones x reader
warnings: reader is going through some emotional bad times
length: 2,405 words
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Everyone knows that grief is an important part of life. As you grow, you lose people, and the lessons that you learn from it are necessary to truly appreciate what you have while you have it. 
But no one talks about how hard it is to grieve someone who hasn’t died. 
In the first stages, you found yourself getting absorbed in the what ifs, cycling over and over again in your head about things you could have done differently that would have changed their mind somehow and made them value you as much as you did them. Even worse was fighting the urge to reach back out to them in an attempt to rekindle something similar to what you had before. But the rational part of your brain constantly steered you away from that because how would that be possible? You couldn’t pretend to ignore everything bad that had come into light and keep a good conscience at the same time. A similar end would be inevitable, and it would hurt just the same if not more the second time around. 
Matt was aware of what you were going through. He listened as you poured your heart out to him, brought you water and tissues when you could do nothing but cry, and was there to make sure that you were taken care of. If he sensed a bit of hesitation in your voice if you asked him for anything, he would remind you in a gentle tone that made your heart flutter that he was there for you in any way that you needed. Over time, though, you closed off to him. You couldn’t help but feel like your emotional outbursts were an annoyance to him since he already had so much else to worry about outside the walls of your shared apartment. Unbeknownst to you, when you started changing the subject and brushing him off whenever he asked about how you were feeling, he knew that he was going to have to make a call to the one person he knew would be able to talk sense into you. 
The first time that he invited Jess and Luke over since things changed, you were initially wary of being forced to socially interact, but after you changed into clean, comfy clothes, had a shower, and actually got to be face-to-face with your best friends for the first time in far too long, you started to feel better than you had in a long time. 
Luke had taken control of a speaker that you had in the apartment, showing you and Matt a few new artists that he had been getting into, and with the way that Jess hummed and sang along to the lyrics, you knew that you weren’t the first to hear him gush about the new finds. You ordered Pizza and sat around shooting the shit with one another. 
When you popped into your room to grab an extra blanket, the sound of the door closing softly surprised you, and you turned to see Jess with a sympathetic smile on her face. Your mood soured. You had a feeling that she was going to want to talk to you with the comforting look in her eyes that she had been fixing you with since she had arrived with Luke. “Red told us that you had a bad falling out with a close friend. How’re you holding up, kid?” She asked and instinctively, you bristled. At this point you had been packing everything down and trying to avoid thinking about the situation altogether, which made it sour and turn to irritability where it sat within you. You scowled, annoyed at the fact that she wanted to stir up the difficult emotions that you had been working hard to hide. Seeing this, Jess raised both of her palms to face you in a surrendering gesture. “Easy, babe. I just want to make sure that everything’s alright.” She said softly.
Frustrated, you folded the blanket a couple of times in your hands. “It is.” You said shortly.
Jess frowned. “We both know that’s not true.” Sometimes you hated how easily she saw straight through you. She sat on the edge of the bed, and patted the spot next to her, inviting you to join. “He didn’t tell us the full story, but I know you, and I know from what he told me that I would be having a rough time, so I can’t imagine what you’re dealing with right now.” You take the spot next to her and lean into her side, letting out a deep exhale when she wrapped her arm around you and gave your shoulder a comforting squeeze. When you relaxed into her after a moment, she knew that she had worn away the stubborn act that you put on. “I know that Matt isn’t the best when it comes to talking about feelings, and I want to give you the space that you might need to talk about things a little more in depth with someone that might be able to communicate a little better about understanding what you’re going through. Or you could just lay on me, which is cool too.” She finished with a small laugh.
For a moment, you considered just sitting in silence for a few moments before rejoining the group, but the longer that you sat against Jess, the bigger the knot in your chest grew until you were squeezing your eyes shut and fighting tears that were starting to well up. “I’m tired of being sad.” You said, hating how small and watery your voice sounded. “I wish I could forget everything about what happened so I could stop carrying around this weight with me.” 
And then you were crying. The more you tried to suppress it the stronger it came on, and the more your breath came in hiccups from your chest, so you stopped trying to hide it and instead opened the floodgates on your best friend. You told her the full story, about what caused the falling out and how hard it had been to adjust, as well as how angry you had been feeling with yourself for not being able to move past it. You told her about how you didn’t want to continually bother Matt so you had started to bottle things up. Even though you knew that it wasn’t the best way to deal with things, but you had hoped that in doing so, it would just pass over and make the whole ordeal easier. 
Jess listened to what you had to say, but also offered some advice. Because of how close the two of you were as well as how blunt and honest she was, Jess was the queen of getting through to you and telling you things that you didn’t want to hear.“The quickest way to get through this is to feel what you need to feel completely and wholly. By not tackling it head-on, no matter how much better it seems in the moment, it’ll eat at you and cause a lot more hurt over time.” This stung, mostly because you knew that she was right. You had been able to witness a small taste of what she was talking about already, and the thought that the bitterness you had been feeling had the potential to grow and have the chance to cause outbursts that could push the people you loved away. You nodded as she gave your shoulder a squeeze. 
“But I don’t want to feel like I’m burdening Matt with my problems.” You whined, digging the heels of your hands into your damp eyes and rubbing at them in exasperation. “I’m scared he’ll start avoiding me because he doesn’t want to hear me complain about my garbage when there’s nothing that he can do.”
To your surprise, Jess barked out a laugh, and you looked up at her with a glare. “Were you not just telling me how he was going total mama-bird over you when things were bad?” You deflated and shrugged, caught by your own words. “Just because you’re the only one who can work through this in your own brain doesn’t mean that you’re struggling alone. We’re all gonna support you in the ways that we know how. And if you’re worrying about the way that Matt is doing it, maybe that’s something that you should talk to him about and make sure that you’re getting the support that you need and that he’s not feeling burned out.”
Nodding, you let her advice sit with you as you leaned against her, letting her hug you from the side while you listened to Matt and Luke’s music muffled through the bedroom door. When you finally straightened up and let her arm fall from your side, Jess gave you a supportive look. “Feeling ok?” She asked.
“A lot better.” You responded, which made Jess give a little cheer that made you smile. “Thank you for… everything.” You said, unsure how to put into words your gratitude for making the effort to get through to you when you were so resistant off of the bat.
She bumped you with her shoulder with a playful grin. “Of course, kid. I’ve always got you. Now let’s go make sure those two haven’t finished off the pizza or torn the place up to bad out there, yeah?” 
Grabbing the blanket from where you had put it down and following Jess back into the main living area feeling much lighter. 
~
After the night that Jess and Luke stopped by, things started to feel like they were getting better. Her advice made you feel like you could dig yourself out of the hole that you found yourself in. You were able to sit down with Matt and express the things that you were worried about, and with that line of communication opened up, you felt free to check in with him when you were concerned that he was being overloaded. Fortunately, after that chat, you were able to go about life more freely than you felt you had been able to in weeks, and after a few weeks you were able to look a short ways into the past and be proud of how far you had come.
However, your good mood unfortunately broke. 
Out of nowhere one morning, you woke up under a wave of depression. You tried to get up and go about things as usual, but disinterested and suddenly exhausted, you ended up back in bed curled in on yourself. After what felt like hours of drifting in and out of sleep and checking your phone, you heard the door open, and you looked to see Matt poke his head into the room. “Hey, sweetheart.” 
At the sound of his voice, tears started welling up in your eyes and you blinked hard to try and keep them from falling. You made a sound of acknowledgement that came out more like a whimper, and his eyes widened, his brow furrowing in concern as he stepped fully into the room. “Oh no,” he cooed softly, padding across the floor to the bed. “No, no, no.” He climbed under the covers on the empty side of the bed facing you.“Talk to me.” He hummed, delicately thumbing away a tear from your cheek.
You almost didn’t want to tell him why you were sad. You had been doing so well! You didn’t want him to pity you for not being able to get over the loss, but you know that if you made up a lie on the spot that he would be able to tell, so you took a steadying breath. Damn his senses. 
“I don’t know why it hit me like this again.” You told him, trying hard to keep your voice steady. “I thought I was done with this.” 
At the admission, your face grew hot with shame and you sniffled, wrapping your arms around yourself. “Hey, hey, none of that.” Matt murmured, pulling you into his arms. You buried your face in his chest and took hold of his t-shirt, taking in the scent of the cotton and his laundry detergent and grounding yourself in it to keep your mind from spiraling further down. 
“I’m embarrassed.” You whispered, and Matt shushed you, removing your hand from his shirt so that he could raise it to his mouth and press a kiss to your knuckles. 
“I know that it’s hard to feel like you’ve made progress only to be set back, but dealing with grief is never a linear process.” He told you, brushing some of your hair back from your face. “Things like this take time, and bad days will happen even after things have been good for a while. But I promise you that things will get better, and that these reminders will start to sting a lot less as it goes on.”
It was silent as you lied together, him listening to your heartbeat return to normal, and you thinking about what he had said while your tears dried. When you finally made a move to get up, Matt’s arm around your waist tensed as he held onto you and kept you from budging. You were only able to let out a confused sound before he took your jaw in his free hand and pressed a soft kiss to your lips. You raised your hands to his stubbly cheeks, and he leaned into your touch, a look in his eyes that was reassuring. “What was that for?” You asked.
He shrugged, a smug smirk on his face as he ran a calloused thumb across your bottom lip. “I just wanted to know you were smiling.” 
That you were. For the first time all day, you felt almost giddy as you giggled, pressing a quick peck to his smiling mouth. “You’re so soft.” You teased, climbing out from under the covers and stretching. 
“Just for you.” He replied, swinging his legs over the side and following your lead. When he got close, you stepped forward and wrapped him in a proper hug. You squeezed him, trying to find the right words to thank him, but with the way that he squeezed you back, you knew that you didn’t need to say anything at all. “You’ve got this, sweetheart.” He said quietly.
And for the first time in a while, you full-heartedly believed it.
~
masterlist
a/n: hello wonderful people! i’m back to classes and with structure comes more ways to work writing into my schedule! i’m working on a couple of wips right now, but my inbox and messages are open to new requests if you’re interested in dropping me something! 
any feedback is appreciated as always!! thank you so much for taking the time to read my work, and every note this gets makes my day! :-)
taglist (open): @krazy-katt-lady​ @occasionallygiveadamn​ @rotisserierogers @howlingbarnes​ @peculiar-persephone​
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writer1 · 4 years ago
Text
A regretful Wolf and his Beauty
Chapter Thirteen
Beast!Rex x Fem!reader
Summary: As punishment for his actions, young prince Rex was cursed to become a monster by a witch. The only thing that saved him from his fate was an enchantress, who gave him a condition. He has to find true love in order to redeem himself and he only has until the last petal of the enchanted rose falls. Rex's family helps you by guiding your way into his heart. Rex's fate now lies in your hands.
Warnings: panic attack, slavery, self hatred.
A/N: This is a collaborative fic with @ahsokatano-thetogruta. This chapter is a long one.
“Stutter?”
Stutter jumps at the sound of his name, looking up towards exactly where the sound came from. It was your voice. You sit up and swing your legs over the edge of the bed. Stutter tries to float again, but he's too tired, so instead he shuffles himself away from you and leans up and presses back against the wall away from your bed, whimpering. “Hey, it's alright.” You tell him with a soothing voice.
“P-Please, don't h-h-hurt m-me.” He starts sobbing hard again, wanting to curl up, but being a paintbrush makes it difficult. “I'm not going to hurt you Stutter.”
His breathing rapidly increases as another one of his panic attacks hit him. Some time ago, you read a book on basic medical studies. You thought that if you want to be a great knight, you need to know the basic medical skills. “Stutter? Stutter, I need you to concentrate on your breathing, okay?” He gives you a tiny nod in response. “Here, breathe with me.” you take slow, deep breaths, noticing that he's trying his best to copy what you're doing. 
You get out of bed, still feeling weak but not as bad as when Rex found you. You ate some soup a few minutes ago so you’re stronger. You walk over to the tiny paintbrush, sitting down against the wall beside Stutter. “There you go, keep breathing. It’s okay.” You reach your hands out, stopping right in front of Stutter. “Is it okay if I pick you up?” 
“O-Ok.” As soon as Stutter says that you gently wrap your hands around him, picking him up and placing Stutter in your lap. He’s shaking like a leaf, but breathing better. “Shh, it’s okay Stutter. You’re okay, shh.” Stutter sobs, flying up and cuddling into your chest.
You softly rub his back with two of your fingers, doing your best to soothe him. You can tell just by his voice that he's young, and you hate to hear a kid cry. You both sit like that for a good twenty minutes until Stutter's sobs turn into whimpers and sniffles.
"Are you okay?" You ask quietly, trying not to startle him. Stutter looks up at you, nodding. "Y-Yeah." 
You smile kindly at him. "Can you tell me what happened? Take as much time as you need." Stutter thinks about it, trying to figure out if he should trust you or not. You wait patiently for him to decide, you can sense the unease and fear around him. 
"Okay, R-Rex y-y-yelled at m-me." Your eyebrows furrow, from what you've seen of Rex, he cares for his brothers. You've never seen or heard him yell at them. Ever. "Why would he yell at you?"
Stutter sniffles, he almost starts crying again. "I a-accidentally broke a p-picture f-f-frame w-with a p-p-painting of h-his p-parents. I d-d-didn't mean t-to, b-b-but he y-yelled at m-me." 
“Oh Stutter, it's alright. If you didn't do it on purpose, he might not have meant to lash out at you like he did. You seem like a really nice person, I don't see why anyone would want to shout at you.” You give him a sympathetic smile, feeling a spark of happiness in the force coming from Stutter, but then he sighs a little. “A-After my m-m-mother d-died a few d-days after I-I was b-b-born, m-my father a-a-and b-b-brothers would a-a-abuse me, m-mentally a-and p-p-physically.” You feel fear at his words, thinking that they are the brothers that he lives within the castle now. “Your brothers here in the castle? But they all seem so kind.”
Stutter is confused for a moment, until he realises who you thought he was talking about. “O-Oh, no. Both R-Rex and h-h-his b-brothers are t-technically m-my c-c-cousins, but I t-think of R-Rex and h-his brothers a-as m-m-my brothers, because a-about thirteen years a-a-ago, they had r-rescued m-me from m-my p-p-previous family. I-It took m-me a-a-a while t-to trust e-everyone, though it's s-s-still difficult now, e-especially when I-I meet new p-p-people.”
“I hope I don't intimate you Stutter. If I ever make you feel uncomfortable, you can always let me know.” You smile kindly at the paintbrush who snuggles into you a bit more, happy that you have listened to him get his worries off of his chest. “I-I feel t-t-that I c-can trust you. Y-You are v-very nice.”
His kind compliment makes you smile wider, your heart filled with happiness. You wouldn't get many compliments back at the village apart from your father and the librarian “That's... That's very kind of you to say. Thank you, Stutter.” Stutter hums a little in response, feeling a lot better than he was earlier. He no longer felt like he was going to break down. A moment later, the bedroom door swings open and you both look up, seeing Obi Wan and Cody who both look like they have been rushing around.
“Stutter, there you are. We’ve been looking everywhere for you, Vod’ika.” Cody tells him, sounding relieved. You smile. “It’s okay, he’s been with me for a while.” Cody shuffles over to you both, followed by Obi Wan. “You okay, Stutter?”
“Y-Yeah, I’m f-f-fine C-Cody. S-Shiny h-h-helped me.” Obi Wan turns his helmet towards you, and Cody shuffles around to look at you. “Thank you for helping him, you didn’t have to do that, especially after how we treated you and your father.” You smile kindly.
“It’s fine, you all have already apologized for what happened. And my father had hurt your brother, I can see where Rex would get protective. Besides, who could say no to such a cute little paintbrush.” You smile at Stutter, as Cody and Obi Wan chuckle, they’re happy that you bonded with Stutter.
“I’m s-s-sorry, Cody. I d-didn’t mean to m-make R-R-Rex mad.” Cody wishes that he could pull Stutter into a hug. “You don’t have to be sorry, Stutter. It was an accident. I’m sure that Rex’ika didn’t mean to yell at you.” You stifle a laugh, you don’t know very much mando’a, but you know that ‘Ika’ means little. “I-I know, w-w-where is h-he? I w-want to t-talk to h-h-him.” 
Obi Wan sighs. “We don’t know, he ran after he yelled at you. He felt really bad for Stutter, I could feel it in the force.” You feel bad for them, and Rex. You are positive that it was an accident. You try to stand, wobbling a little, but Obi Wan grabs and steadies you. “Let’s go find him then.” 
“What! Miss Shiny, you are still hurt.” You glare at the desk. “I’m fine, and it’s just Shiny. Now let’s go.” You walk out, carrying the paintbrush with you. Cody sighs. “Her and Rex are made for eachother.” Cody whispers to Obi Wan, making sure that you won’t hear him. “Definitely.” Obi Wan agrees, then they both follow you and Stutter out, moving as fast as they can to catch up to you. 
xxx
“Rex, come on out please.” Kix has a worried face and so does Jesse. “NO!” Rex's response makes the two of them frown at each other.
“I have an idea.” Jesse whispers to Kix, who nods back at him. “Okay, what is it?” Without telling him, he unfolds himself out from a little man so he is now just a sheet of paper. Jesse slips through the slight gap underneath the door and into the room that Rex has locked himself into.
You, Stutter, Obi Wan and Cody all see Kix floating outside a door. “Kix, have you found Rex yet-”
“LEAVE ME ALONE!!” The loud, growly voice makes Stutter jump in your arms, but you can sense that he isn't as frightened when he is being held. Jesse slips back out from under the door, quickly folding himself back into a man and a slightly annoyed look. “No luck?” Kix asks?
Jesse shakes his head and sighs. “No…” You all feel slightly bad for him. His reaction was out of his control, and once he had yelled at Stutter, he knew that the damage had been done and could not be taken back. He hurt his Vod'ika, Stutter, so he'll never forgive himself.
Cody calls out to him comfortingly. ��Rex'ika, it's alright. We know you didn't mean to yell at Stutter. You were angry and you weren't thinkin-”
“That doesn't matter! I still hurt his feelings…” Rex ends up whining at the end of his sentence, his ears pressing back at the thought of what happened. You feel bad for him, hearing the sadness in his voice “Rex, we're not mad. Even Stutter is here to make sure you are okay.”
“Shiny?” Rex is surprised to hear your voice. He didn't realize that you would be here, but instead thought that you'd be back in your room getting some rest. “Yes, could you come out please?” There's only silence as a response.
After some thought, you turn to the others. “Maybe I should talk to him alone.” You suggest quietly. They all nod. “That might be best, it might be because we were there when...you know.” Cody whispers and you nod, knowing what he means. Rex doesn't want anyone to see him that watched him yell at Stutter.
“Thank you, here Obi Wan. Could you take Stutter for me please?” You hold out the paintbrush towards the suit of armor. “Of course, Shiny.” Obi Wan nods as he gently takes Stutter into his arms. “We'll leave you to talk to him.”
“Thank you, Obi Wan. All of you as well, thank you.” They all nod at you as they leave until it's only you in the hallway standing just outside Rex's door. “Rex? It’s just me out here, can we talk?” You listen, but don’t hear anything. You sigh, walking over to the door and sitting with your back against it.
“I know that you didn’t mean to yell at Stutter, you were just frustrated right?” You still have no answer from him, making you sigh, again. “You know, I understand what it’s like to get frustrated and yell. Believe me, I’ve yelled at my Papa a few times from frustration.”
“You have?” You can barely hear the whisper, but you feel happy that he’s finally talking. “Yeah, a few times. It happens to everyone, now can you let me in so that we can talk face to face?” You wait, then hear footsteps come to the door and the click of the lock, then the footsteps walk away again.
You open the door, as soon as you walk in you see Rex sitting against the far wall. You walk towards him, sitting cross legged right beside him to his right. He turns to you with wide eyes full of surprise. You turn and offer him a comforting smile. “It's nice to talk to you face to face, Rex.”
"Why would it be nice?" Confusion fills you, you don't understand what he means. "Why wouldn't it be nice?" Rex's ears press back against his head tight, you don't know why you find it cute?
“Because... because I look like a monster. Isn't it obvious? And I yelled at Stutter too, he's probably feeling so scared right now.” You place a hand gently on his forearm. Rex flinches at the sudden touch as he looks down at you, seeing your comforting smile. “Stutter's okay, Rex. He had run to my room, so we talked for a little while, until Obi Wan and Cody had found us. That's when they told us that Kix and Jesse had gone to find you.”
“I see… was he talking about me?” a little whine escapes him as he thinks about the question, thinking that Stutter told you about how Rex yelled at him. You feel Rex's thoughts. “Yes, he told me about what happened earlier, but he was also saying about how you saved him from his abusive father and brothers.”
Rex's ears perk up. " He told you about that?" You nod. "Yeah, he told me about how he was abused. I'm happy that he has people like you and your brother's now."
Rex feels a small smile come to his face. "I remember the first time I ever saw Stutter, he was only about a day old. Me and my Aunt were close, she was one of the nicest people I had ever met. She invited my family over to her house to meet Stutter, I was the first one to go in. He was so tiny, and I held him in my arms, even then I felt that he was more of a brother then a cousin." 
You listen to Rex's story, it's starting to change the way you thought about him. You originally thought that he was just a cruel monster, then a lonely cursed man. Now you aren't sure what to think, Rex continues on with the story. “Stutter would never have deserved to keep living with his horrible father and brothers, that's when me and my brothers took him in as our own brother, to give him a better and safer life. He…he would always get shouted at, and that's why I feel so horrible after what happened earlier, because I brought back to him all of those awful memories that cause him so much pain.” Rex takes a deep breath to hold back his tears. “I just want Stutter to be safe and feel loved, because that's what he deserves.”
“Oh Rex, Stutter knows that you want that for him, he truly does. He knows now that you didn't mean to yell at him like you did.” Rex smiles at your reassuring words, thankful for your help by talking to him. “Thank you, Shiny. I'm glad to hear that he's okay.” You nod and smile.
“You're welcome. What would you like to do now? Sitting here all by yourself may not help you, so I'm happy to stay with you if you'd like?” You let a minute of silence pass, allowing Rex to think clearly about what to do next. He breathes in quickly and deeply, letting it out slowly. “I think I'll go and see the others now.” 
You nod as the both of you stand up, though your legs still feel a little weak. Rex notices and steadies you as you begin to wobble, afraid that you might fall otherwise. “Thank you, Rex. I guess I should rest some more, huh.” you let out a little nervous chuckle as he gives you a small smile. “That might do you more good than walking around. I'll help you there if you'd like?” 
You appreciate the kind gesture “That would be great, thank you.” gently, he helps you off of the ground and you hold onto his right arm, securly. “Are you okay?” Rex's thoughtfulness warms your heart, making you grin a little. 
“Yeah, I'm okay. Let's go.” You both walk out of the room and into the hallway. Thankfully your room isn't too far away, so at least it means that you get to rest sooner. Meeting everyone here, including Rex, has made you happy. They are all so kind to you. Even though the first few days here at the castle were rough, you've left those behind you and just enjoy talking to the others you've met, and of course helping Stutter. 
“Um, Shiny? D-Do you like the feel of my fur?” You look up at Rex a little confused.
You realise that you've been playing with the fur on his arm. “Oh, sorry. I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable, I didn't mean to. I guess I got a bit lost in thought.” 
“No need to be sorry, I don't mind at all. To be quite honest, it feels nice.” Rex shows a promising but nervous smile. He finds that he likes you, not love or anything of the sort, but as hopefully a… friend.
Rex knows that he treated you pretty badly the first few days, but he hopes that you could forgive him. Even if you're not the one to break the curse. You smile at Rex and continue to play with his fur a little, you then look at his arm and notice a patch of fur, as white as snow. “What’s this?”
Rex chuckles when he realises what you are asking about. “That’s from my brother Fives, it was a few hours after I was turned into… this. Fives, Echo, Stutter and Fives' friend Kiara all decided to do a group hug with me, but he had forgotten to put his candles out. So my fur lit on fire and I got burned, it healed quickly but when the fur grew back it was white.”
You chuckle at the story. “Fives must have felt bad, from what I’ve met of him he seems like a sweetheart.” Rex nods. “He is, but he’s also a prankster sometimes. Him and Echo have gotten into all kinds of trouble over the years.” You nod, smiling again as the two of you arrive at your room. Rex walks you in and helps you to your bed, you both sit down. 
“I bet they thought it was worth it though?” you laugh, making Rex laugh too. “Yes, especially Fives. He loves to make trouble, but they are both my brothers, so I'll always love them for who they are.” Rex smiles, but he feels a stab at his heart, remembering the night of the curse, how he yelled at the two of them for pranking him. “You okay, Rex?” He feels your hand on his shoulder. You feel his pain in the force.
“Yeah, everything's fine.” You raise an eyebrow, you know that everything isn’t fine. “Do you want to talk about it?” Rex shakes his head no, and you don’t push. “Okay, you don’t have to. So are Fives and Echo twins? They act like it but it’s kind of hard to tell… “ Rex chuckles.
“Yeah, they don’t look very alike right now, but when we were human you could hardly tell the two apart. Although their personalities are vastly different.” You chuckle again. “They are both very sweet, and Fives is fun to talk to.”
“Yeah, I also have a younger sister, Ahsoka, she’s fourteen now. I’m sure you’d love her, she wants to be a knight someday, but it’s hard for her to train with what she was turned into.” You look at him, confused. “What was she turned into?”
“She was turned into a music box, or technically the figure on top. When we were all transformed for the first time, Ahsoka looked so much older than she actually was. She doesn't look like she's aged a day.” Rex frowns a little “It's been difficult for her with not being able to train to become a knight. On the night of the curse, Ahsoka had comforted me when I needed it most, despite how scary I looked to her. She's very brave and strong, willing to help others whenever she can.”
“She sounds like a wonderful girl, that's so kind of her to help you. I can't imagine how difficult it was for you and her, along with  everyone else, on that day. I can't wait to meet her.” you give Rex a toothy smile, and he gives you one in return. “Y'know, you and your family are the most new people, who don’t call me odd, I’ve ever met.” 
Rex frowns at that, you haven’t met that many of them. He doesn’t like how your village has treated you. “That’s not right, you’ll never be called odd here, Shiny.” a smile graces your face when Rex says that, you're happy that everyone here in the castle is so kind. Despite starting off on the wrong foot, you strongly believe that this is the start of a new friendship.
You suddenly start to feel sleepy again. “I'm going to rest some more now, if that's okay?” Rex gives you a smile “Of course, I'll leave you to rest up.” You nod and yawn in response, making him quietly hum happily. He stands and waits a moment more to make sure that you'll be okay on your own, then he turns and leaves your room. Something deep inside of him makes him want to stay with you, but he buries that feeling a little further down to conceal his feelings. 
You stay sitting for a little while until you want to lie down for a bit. As you shuffle around on the edge of the bed, you hear a barking sound coming from the hallway. A dog? You think to yourself, but all that appears at your doorway is a small footstool prancing around. “Artoo! Come back here, Buddy!” You instantly recognize that voice as metal footsteps jog down the corridor. The footstool pads its way across the floor to you, then sniffs by your feet near the ground, yapping happily and jumping up onto the bed. Artoo pants and climbs onto your lap, lying down instantly. You chuckle. “Why hello there, little one.” 
A suit of armor suddenly appears by the door, huffing out a sigh as he's finally able to catch up with Artoo. “Artoo, how are you so fast?” Anakin shakes his head, chuckling a little to see his dog lying in your lap while you pet him. “Anakin, it's good to see you. I'm guessing he's yours?”
“Yeah, I'm sorry if he's being a bother. Sometimes I wonder if he's still actually a puppy because of how fast and energetic he is. It's unbelievable.” Anakin sighs, Artoo just seems to have so much energy. You chuckle, petting the dog in your lap “He's no problem at all, he's so adorable. How old is he?” 
“He is twelve now, but he'll be thirteen in December.” You smile as you continue to pet Artoo. “Well, he’s absolutely adorable.” Artoo barks, making you chuckle. Anakin walks over to you. “Do you mind if I sit beside you?” 
You smile. “No, go ahead.” Anakin sits down beside you, you can hear the creak of his metal joints. “Do you mind if I ask a question about Rex?” Anakin turns to you. “Not at all, go ahead.”
“Has he always been the way he is, not him being a wolf, but I noticed that he has a little bit of a temper?” Anakin feels a little sad, remembering back to the times before the curse. “No, not always. It was ever since the curse happened. It changed him, not just physically, but he had gained a slight temper and been a little more... distant from us all.” Anakin doesn't really know how to describe the way that Rex has been feeling for the past twelve and a half years, but it has been rough. “Most days, he'll still blame himself for what happened, what we have all become. Everything that he did on Christmas day, Rex regrets it all. He says how it's his fault that everything happened, happened because of his behavior. Despite how Rex was kind enough to allow Ventress to take shelter from the cold, she still had the audacity to use her magic on him. On all of us.” 
“I'm so sorry that this happened to all of you, none of you deserved this. Not even Rex.” Artoo whines a little, nuzzling Anakin's leg a little. “From what Stutter told me about his past as well, I can tell that Rex was kind. It's awful that someone could even want to do this to you all.” 
“There are some very bad people out there, I know…” You can feel his sadness and some fear in the force coming from Anakin, noticing that he spaced out for a moment. “You alright, Anakin?”
“Yeah...yeah I'm okay. Just...remembering things is all.” without realizing it, Artoo had climbed over onto his lap, allowing Anakin to pet him. Anakin is glad that he's got his buddy with him to keep him calm and make him feel better through the difficult times. “Would you like to talk about it?” 
Anakin freezes for a second, but then pushes his fear aside. “I...I was a slave as a child.” You look at Anakin. You knew that slavery existed in some places. “I’m so sorry, that must have been terrible.”
Anakin nods. “It was, my mother and I were both slaves. I was saved when I was nine by a knight, his name was Qui Gon Jinn. My mom wasn’t so lucky, I don’t even know if she’s still alive.” You can’t believe that Anakin went through that. “I’m sorry, I lost my mom when I was younger too. The plague had come to my old village, and my mother caught it. Me and my Papa had to leave her because of how contagious she was, we couldn’t even be there for her final days. I was six.”
“I’m so sorry, that must have been tough. The plague is such a horrible disease, I’m so sorry that you had to lose a loved one from that.” You smile at Anakin, and even though he doesn’t have a face, you can tell that he’s smiling as well. “You and Rex must be close, with the way you talk about him.”
Anakin nods, chuckling. “Yeah, we’re best friends. But it wasn’t always that way, I actually hated him when I was first brought to the castle.”
Sixteen and a half years earlier...
The blood and sweat stains his body. Images still flashing behind his eyelids when he tries to sleep. The torture leaving him with scars all over his body, especially his back, from the dreadful punishments that he deserved if he wasn't doing his job efficiently enough. Everyday would be a challenge, every second being on edge, losing sleep at night from the fear and terror. Him and his mother huddle together as close they can in their small cell, trying their best to ignore the restraints, chaining them to the wall. 
Screams of dying men could be heard outside of the cell. Anakin squeezes his eyes shut at the sound of whipping and a sword clattering around. Anakin's mother holds him close as he sniffles and whimpers, scared of what has just happened. Suddenly, a suit of armor appears at the cell door. They hilt their sword and remove their helmet, crouching down to look closer at the fearful, unfortunate souls, who quake as they huddle impossibly closer together. They have shock collars around their necks, most likely used as punishment.
“It's alright now, I'm here to rescue you. My name is Qui Gon Jinn, I mean you no harm.” he sees the woman shoot a glare at him, unsure of whether to trust him or not. Qui Gon holds a hand out to the young boy. “I promise that I won’t hurt you, now how old are you, Little one?”
“I-I’m nine, my name is Anakin.” Qui Gon smiles, looking Anakin over. “Well, it’s very nice to meet you Anakin, and I’m guessing that this is your mother?” Anakin nods, and so does his mother. “I’m here to get the two of you out of here, now we have to move quickly, understand?”
Anakin and his mother nod. “We understand, you are really here to rescue us?” Anakin’s mother asks, she doesn’t dare to hope. Qui Gon nods. “Yes, I’m here to get you and your son away from here, miss…?”
“Shmi, Shmi Skywalker. And my son is Anakin Skywalker.” Qui Gon nods, smiling. Then he frowns. “Is there anyone else I need to get? Anakin’s father perhaps?” Shmi shakes her head with a frown, and Qui Gon can feel her unease in the force. “What is it?”
Shmi looks down at Anakin, then back up at the knight that was going to rescue them. “There was no father. I carried him, I gave birth, I raised him. I can't explain what happened.” Qui Gon looks inquisitively at Anakin. “Hm, interesting indeed. We’ll talk more about this once it’s safe, now we need to go.” Shmi nods, and both her and Anakin follow Qui Gon out of their cell. Neither of the two slaves can believe that they’re being rescued. It’s hard to traverse the small alley’s of their town once they get out of the small prison where slaves are kept, they all have to be quiet. Anyone who lives in the town of Tatooine is certainly a slaver.
“What are you doing!” Shmi, Anakin and Qui Gon turn to see a slaver coming towards them, both Anakin and Shmi cower, with Shmi wrapping her body protectively around Anakin. Qui Gon jumps into action, slicing the slaver down with his sword before he could warn anybody of their escape. He turns back to Shmi and Anakin. “I’m sorry that you had to see that,  but I couldn’t have the slaver alerting anyone of our presence.”
Shmi nods. “We understand, thank you.” Qui Gon nods to her with a smile, and the three continue on their way, Shmi covers Anakin's eyes as they walk by the body.
A little further on, the alleyways of the town are quiet and give good cover for the three of them to stay out of sight as much as they can. Qui Gon looks back to see Shmi getting tired and struggling to keep going while carrying Anakin. She is so exhausted from protecting her son on her own the best she could for all these years.
Qui Gon stops and looks at her. “Would you like me to carry Anakin for you?” Shmi's embrace around Anakin tightens around him protectively, but after a moment of thought, she nods and gently hands over the small boy. “Thank You, Qui Gon. Sorry for the trouble.”
Qui Gon shakes his head and smiles “Not at all, I'm here to help you, Miss Shmi.” They all continue to walk, entering the open areas of the street. They'll have to move quickly if they are to escape without any trouble. “Stay close to me.” Qui Gon says quietly to Shmi, who nods understandingly. 
Slavers are everywhere, making sure that their slaves are working efficiently. Cracks of whips and sound of cries fill the air. Shmi can't wait to get out of here with her son, to finally live a safer and happier life- 
Suddenly, a whip wraps around her leg and pulls her to the ground, making her shout in pain as she hits the floor. “Mama!!” Anakin screams as he sees his mother on the ground, making Qui Gon turn around to see her. The Zygerrian slaver only smirks as he grabs her by her hair, pulling her up and locking her arms behind her so she can't move. Her struggling only makes the slaver angry, so he puts a number into his wrist device and then presses a button, activating Shmi's collar and electrifying her. Screaming out in pain, Anakin starts to cry as he watches her struggle in the slaver's grasp.
Qui Gon takes a few paces towards the Zygerrian, but he's stopped when a few other slavers get in the way, pointing their weapons towards him. The electric collar is deactivated, leaving Shmi gasping for air. “Q-Qui Gon, get Anakin out of here, please!” 
“No, Mama!” Anakin screams while holding out a desperate hand towards her, wanting her to hold him. “I love you, Ani. You're going to be safe now, this man will take good care of you.” Shmi looks pleadingly towards Qui Gon, who nods in return.
As the other slavers start walking towards him, Qui Gon turns and runs away with the wailing young boy in his arms. Tears stream down Shmi's face, being dragged away to another dark cell, this time with a guard there to ensure she won't escape again.
Qui Gon runs as fast as he can, feeling in the force that the slavers are catching up. Almost effortlessly, he jumps up onto a building and over the wall of the town, finally escaping. Qui Gon sighs, able to catch his breath. Anakin sobs into his armour, tears making it shine brightly in the light.
“Qui Gon!” a deep voice calls out from a carriage. He looks to see Plo Koon waving him over, so Qui Gon swiftly moves to go and sit down. Once in, Plo grabs the reins and commands the horses to gallop as fast as they can down the pathway and back to the castle.
xxx
Qui Gon helps Anakin out of the carriage when they arrive at the castle. “This is your new home, Anakin. I hope that you will like living here.” Anakin nods, he doesn’t want to speak at the moment, his mother is gone and there's a good chance that he’ll never see her again. Qui Gon walks Anakin in as Plo follows, both men can feel the sadness in the force from the boy. They walk to the throne room and see the king and queen immediately along with a few of their sons. The six year old twins, Echo and Fives are on the floor playing with their older brother Rex. “My king and queen. We only managed to save one slave from the town of tatooine. This is Anakin Skywalker, he’s nine years old.”
Qui Gon gently pulls Anakin forward from where he was hiding, Anakin doesn’t look up at them. He hates royals, they have everything while people like him and his mother get absolutely nothing.
“Oh, the poor boy. We’ll have to get that collar off of him as soon as possible.” Queen Daria tells them, her heart goes out to the young child standing before her. He’s only a year younger than her son Rex, it’s not right that he had to go through this. “Daria is right Qui Gon, the young lad can stay in the guest room next to Rex for tonight, so that we can be close by to help him out. Then we can find a more permanent placement tomorrow.”
Qui Gon nods. “It shall be done, king Rélíar. Why doesn’t young Rex show Anakin around, they are close in age, it might do them some good.” Rex looks at Anakin, offering a kind smile, but Anakin gives Rex a glare that makes Rex flinch. None of the adults notice at the moment. “That is a great idea, and remember that you don’t have to call me and my husband king and queen all the time, you can call us by our names. Now, go ahead and show young Anakin around, Rex.” 
Rex nods at his mother. “Come along, Anakin.” Anakin huffs but follows Rex, he’s too scared of repercussions to say no. Rex shows Anakin all over the castle but Anakin remains silent, once they get to the room that is Anakins for the night, Rex turns to him. “Do you have a problem with me? Because I don’t think that I did anything to you, but if I did then please tell me. I promise that you won’t get in trouble.” Anakin growls. “Do you want to know what you did, you royals get everything while people like me get nothing. You’re probably a spoiled brat.”
Rex frowns. “I’m sorry that you feel that way, Anakin. But you shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover, me and my family haven’t gone through what you have, but we have had bad things happen to us.” Rex turns and leaves after that, leaving Anakin to his thoughts. He doesn’t believe Rex, Anakin has been lied to before.
A little while later Qui Gon walks in with some fresh clothes for Anakin. “Here you go, I thought that you might rather sleep in some fresh clothes. They are Rex’s so they might be a little big, but they should work for now. Tomorrow you can meet some of my fellow knights.” Anakin nods while Qui Gon sets the clothes on the bed. “You better get some sleep now Anakin, you have a big day tomorrow. Goodnight.” With that, Qui Gon closes the door, Anakin sighs and goes and changes his clothes. It’s been a while since he’s had clean ones to wear, once he finishes changing Anakin turns the light off and lays in bed. 
Comfort and complete bliss surrounds him as he sinks into the soft mattress, pulling the comfy duvet over himself. He takes in a deep breath through his nose, smelling the freshness of the linen cover. As a slave, Anakin has never had any luxuries whatsoever. He never even knew anything like this even existed. It's like a dream. He lets out a yawn and feels his eyes begin to drift close, letting the comfort from the bed soothe him to sleep. Once his eyes are shut, he falls asleep almost instantly...
The shouting of orders and screaming of unfortunate slaves, heard throughout the town, filled Anakin's ears, leaving them painfully ringing. His mother is being taken away, so Anakin screams. When he does, not a single sound comes out. He tries again and again to scream for them to stop, but nothing's working. Shmi just smiles at him, being dragged away, blood covering her face and body, the scars from whips show in a bright red. 
The final time he attempts to shout, his voice can be heard this time. Everything goes black and his eyes snap wide open, still screaming out. “Mama!!” Anakin sits up quickly, breathing rapid, fear consuming him.
His vision is slightly blurry, so he vigorously rubs at them, trying to rid his mind of the awful memories and pain he was put through. His face feels wet as he wipes his face, pulling his hand away to see some tears glistening in his palm. Light from the hallway seeps through the ajar door. 
Anakin turns his head around to see a figure standing in the doorway. As the door opens more, it's clear to see who it is. A boy with short, blonde hair looks at Anakin with concern and worry clearly showing across his face.
Anakin turns back round, staring down at the sheets, his expression full of sadness and fear filling his heart that's still racing at a hundred miles an hour “What do you want?” Anakin snaps, trying to hide his sniffles and face the best he can. He wants so badly to cry, but he doesn't want to. Not in front of the prince anyway.
Rex winces slightly at the tone of voice, but he tries to ignore it and walks a little closer to Anakin. “Are you okay? You were screaming in your sleep.”
“I wasn't-” Anakin remembers the nightmare he had, he now just furrows his eyebrows with confusion. “But, I-I couldn't scream. I couldn't do anything…” Anakin shakes a little.
Rex frowns, sitting next to the boy and gently, hesitantly, places a hand on Anakin's back “Could you not hear yourself? You were screaming for someone to stop. You shouted "Mama" out as well. Was it a nightmare?” 
Anakin faces the prince now sitting next to him, his eyes welling up with tears, eventually spilling out and rolling down his face. Anakin sobs again, shocks of pain and fear coursing all through Anakin's small body. Rex worries for him and pulls Anakin gently into him. The small boy falls defeatedly into Rex, feeling like his whole world is crumbling down around him.
He lost his Mother, got rescued from the slavers and now he's in a royal castle. It's been a lot to take in during such a short period of time, he's not sure he can handle it alone, but how do you ask someone for help? Especially when they are royalty. All Anakin can think about is how much Rex and his family wouldn't care for him, he's only a slave after all.
“Shh. It’s okay, Anakin. I’m here, you can tell me about your nightmare.” Rex does his best to comfort Anakin, he had heard his mom and dad talking about what had happened to Anakin. Rex hates slavers.
“I… I don’t want to talk about it.” Anakin whispers, and Rex nods in understanding. He lets go of Anakin now, the two boys sitting on the edge of the bed. “Okay, do you want to talk about something else? What were your friends like from where you’re from?” Anakin looks down at the ground. “I… I don’t have any friends.”
Rex frowns, then he smiles at Anakin. “Well, you do now.” Anakin looks up at Rex, eyes wide with surprise. “What? But I'm just a slave.” Rex looks at Anakin, confusion evident in his expression. “So, what does that matter?”
Anakin looks at Rex. “But I was mean to you, I called you a spoiled brat.” Rex gives Anakin another comforting smile. “Yeah, but I don’t blame you. Some royals are spoiled brats, but not all of us, and I think that we could be good friends. If you want to be my friend.” Anakin nods shyly, making Rex shine a bright smile. Anakin then frowns.
“I… I’ve never slept alone before, Rex. I’ve always had my mom, can I maybe sleep with you?” Rex smiles kindly at Anakin, then a thought hits him. “Yeah, of course. But I was thinking that we could go cuddle in with my older brother Cody, and his boyfriend Obi Wan. They are the best at offering comfort after a nightmare, if you’re okay with that?” Anakin nods shyly. “If Obi Wan and Cody don’t mind.”
“I’ll go ask them, you wait here Anakin.” Anakin nods, and Rex runs out of the room. He runs down the hall to Cody’s room, Rex already knows that Obi Wan will be in there, he sneaks in so much that he pretty much lives there. Rex knocks on his older brother's door. The door opens and a grumpy looking Cody looks down at Rex. “What do you need, Rex’ika? It’s the middle of the night.” Rex looks up at Cody. “Anakin, the kid that knight Qui Gon saved, he had a nightmare and needs comfort. And I told him that you and Obi Wan are the best at providing comfort.”
Rex hears a groan as Obi Wan pads over. “What’s going on?” He asks, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “Well, Rex’ika said that the new kid, Anakin, had a nightmare and needs comfort. Seems that we were recommended as being the best at that.” Obi Wan chuckles, looking down at Rex. “Why don’t you go get him, Rex. I’ve been wanting to meet young Anakin since Qui Gon told me about him. And we do give the best comfort in the castle.” Obi Wan coos, nuzzling Cody's cheek with his nose lovingly. Rex smiles, running back to Anakin’s room to grab him.
Anakin is still sitting on his bed where Rex left him, waiting patiently for the older boy to return. His sobs had subsided, now there are only quiet sniffles. “Hey Anakin.” The young boy looks a little anxious at Rex, afraid that he won't be allowed to cuddle and sleep with them. “Can we go and sleep with them?” Anakin clenches the bed sheets in his hand softly, trying to keep himself calm.
Rex nods, smiling. “Yes, of course we can. Obi Wan can't wait to meet you either.” Anakin looks surprised “R-Really? No one's ever really wanted to see me, unless it was a slaver who-- nevermind, I-I look forward to meeting him too. And your brother, Cody.” Anakin feels a spark of relief, happy that he won't have to sleep alone.
“Would you like a piggy back ride to their room?” Rex offers kindly, helping Anakin stand up, who looks at him confused. “What's a piggy back ride?”
Rex internally face palms, not thinking that Anakin may not have known what it is. “Well, it's like how it sounds. I'll carry you on my back and we'll ride around different places. Would you like to do that?” Anakin nods “Yes please.” 
Rex smiles crouching down “Okay, here. Wrap your arms gently over my shoulders and around my neck. Then you'll jump up and I'll hook my arms under your legs, okay?” Anakin nods again and does as he's told, feeling a little nervous about what it is he's about to do. “Alright, ready? One, two, three.” Rex catches Anakin's legs and shuffles the small boy into his back more. 
“Woah, ah.” Anakin panicked a little at first. “You okay, Ani?” The small giggle escaping Anakin gives Rex all the confirmation he needs to know he is okay.
Anakin no longer feels nervous, Rex starts speed walking down the hall, making Anakin squeal with delight. He loves it! Once they get to the end of the hall Rex slows down, stopping outside of Cody’s door. He opens it and walks in, still carrying Anakin. Obi Wan and Cody are sitting on the bed, and look up when Rex and Anakin come in. Obi Wan stands up with a smile. "You must be Anakin, it's very nice to meet you." Anakin hides behind Rex a little bit, making Obi Wan frown.
"It's okay, you can trust me. I promise." Obi Wan gives Anakin a comforting smile, walking towards him. I'm Obi Wan." Obi Wan holds out a hand to Anakin, waiting patiently for the nine year old to come out of hiding. It takes a few minutes and Rex has to tell him that Obi Wan is nice, but Anakin eventually comes out and shakes Obi Wan's hand.
"It's nice to meet you, Obi Wan." Anakin tells him quietly, making Obi Wan smile. Cody walks over beside them, smiling at Anakin. "It's very nice to meet you, I'm Cody, Rex's older brother." Anakin shakes Cody's hand as well, Rex then pulls him over to the bed while Obi Wan and Cody talk quietly to eachother.
“He seems like a very sweet young boy.” Cody smiles, stifling a yawn. Obi Wan nods in agreement. “He does, but there's...something about him. In the force I feel that...”
Cody slightly raises an eyebrow “What are you saying?” The two of them look over at the bed to see Anakin shuffling towards Rex, who wraps his arms around the nine year old comfortingly. “I feel that Anakin is strong with the force.”
“So he could train to be a knight?” Obi Wan nods “Yes, though it is his choice to become one or not.”
“Of course. I can remember when we were ten years old and you decided to become a knight, so we could be together.” Cody says lovingly, walking closer to Obi Wan and cups his face, looking into his eyes. “I'm happy that you stayed here. Happy that I can be with you, to spend everyday with you. I love you so much, Sweetheart.” 
Obi Wan smiles, his gaze lost in Cody's honey eyes. “I love you too, Cyare.” The two of them share a loving kiss before going over to the bed and joining Rex and Anakin, who look cozy and warm. Cody climbs in first, followed by Obi Wan who wraps his arms around Cody's waist, letting one of his arms drape over to Rex's side, who gently holds Anakin between himself and Cody.
The four of them all snuggle together, Anakin, feeling much better now, hums quietly in content, feeling safe. He soon drifts off into a much nicer sleep, thankful that the nightmare didn't come back. 
He does dream a very weird dream, he's playing in the snow with Obi Wan and Cody, but they are both older than they were before. Then a giant wolf appears. It stands like a human, arms and legs a bit longer, but Anakin still finds it scary. He whimpers in fear of the wolf, but Obi Wan and Cody crouch down next to him. “It's okay, Ani. It's just Rex.” Cody explains to Anakin, soon making him notice that the wolf has blonde fur. 
“Rex?” Anakin's voice quivers slightly, but Rex nods his head, ears pressed back, crouching down to make himself seem smaller so as to not scare the nine year old boy. “Y-Yeah, it's me.” He sounds older too.
Anakin walks up closer and pets Rex's fur, giggling. “So fluffy.” Rex chuckles at that and his tail starts wagging, making Anakin giggle even more. Anakin runs through the snow as Rex pounces in it on all fours, playing tag with Anakin. He's going easy on him due to his size, so he let's Anakin win. 
Cody whispers something into Obi Wan's ear, a smirk spread wide across his face. Using the force, Obi Wan forms some snow into a snowball, lifting it up in the air and then launching it at Rex. The snow sticks to Rex's fur, so he shakes himself off. Cody and Obi Wan both burst out laughing.
Rex shows a toothy playful grin as he gathers some snow, forming it into a snowball and throwing at the two of them, knocking the both of them over. The two of them laugh as they lie in the snow before cuddling and kissing one another.
Anakin giggles as he feels Rex pick him up and put him on his back, standing on all fours “Hold on okay?” Anakin nods and holds onto Rex, not too tightly though as to pull on his fur. Rex runs around in the snow, making Anakin shout out joyfully.
“Rex! Dinner's ready!” Anakin hears someone calling for Rex, making him slow down and eventually stop. It sounds like a female's voice. Anakin looks in the direction the voice came from, seeing someone he has never met before. 
Anakin feels Rex's happiness, when he responds with “Okay, Shiny. We'll come in now.” Obi Wan and Cody get up from where they were lying in the snow, holding hands as they walk into the castle. Rex walks with Anakin still on his back. Before Anakin gets to the castle, he hears a squawk, making him look up to see a green feathered Convor circling around in the sky, then everything goes dark.
“Anakin. Anakin, you okay?” You ask as he has been sitting on the edge of your bed for some time now. He looks at you. “Uh, yeah sorry. Just remembering things is all.” Anakin can’t believe it, he had forgotten all about that dream until now. He always wondered why Rex’s wolf form looked so familiar. He’s going to have to bring this up to him later.
“What was it?” Anakin turns to you, he wonders if he should tell you, but decides against it. He doesn’t know what the dream meant, or why he didn’t remember it until now. Anakin thinks that it may have something to do with Ventress, or the Enchantress. But Anakin won’t know for sure until he could talk to the Enchantress again.
Anakin can’t believe that you were in it, he wants to tell Rex about that but the force is telling him not to, it gives him a bad feeling just thinking about it. Anakin doesn’t like not being able to tell Rex, he always tells Rex everything. “It’s just the memory about how I came to the castle and met Rex. I’ll tell you about it another time.” You nod, smiling at Anakin, you can feel that there’s something he’s not telling you, but you leave it be. Besides, he'll tell you some other time.
Taglist: @ellie1366 @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life @lightning-wolffe  @pinkiemme @captainrexisboo  @trash-dino-5000
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missluthorwillseeyounow · 5 years ago
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Hitch Me To The One I Love (Supercorp Hitch AU), part 1
Supercorp Hitch AU where Kara is a dating "consultant" who helps her clients, mostly useless gays, get the girl. She's got a little bit of a chip on her shoulder, because her ex-girlfriend, Siobhan cheated on her when she was still a gullible and vulnerable kid in college (I'm imagining a scene where Siobhan derides her by saying that she's "out of Kara's league").
Since then, Kara's kind of made it her mission to help her fellow gays avoid the same heartbreak she experienced. She's a hopeless romantic, who believes that everyone should have a chance to get the person of their dreams, even if they're "out of their league". She's clever about it so no one ever traces anything back to her, and her dorky charm and sunny demeanor keeps people from connecting her with this "Supergirl" matchmaker that everyone keeps talking about. She's made a lot of successful matches, and all her clients are grateful to her, and they pass her business along by word of mouth.
Enter Veronica Sinclair. 
Kara goes to meet her, thinking she's another ordinary client, but when Kara sees her, she immediately knows something's off, because Veronica is stunning, sultry and confident in an eat-you-alive kind of way. There's no way she needs help getting a girl - any girl, or anyone for that matter. Then Veronica starts telling her about this woman she wants to pursue.
"She's.... something else. There's always been something elusive about her. We were at boarding school together, briefly. We never got along then. But now.... Now, things are different. The stakes are higher. She never returns my calls, won't even look my way. It's infuriating! I've been trying to fuck her for years--"
Kara chokes. "Excuse me??"
"Fuck her," Veronica says with a catty smile at Kara's spluttering. "Rail her until she can't walk the next day. Bend her over her desk and break her in half. Have her on her knees with my fingers in her mouth. I really don't know why I need to explain this to you. You're supposed to be the professional."
"I think you may have misunderstood what I do." Kara tries to storm off, but Veronica catches her by the arm.
"I think you may have misunderstood who you're talking to." Veronica murmurs, low and dangerous. "I'm not the sort of person people say no to. People can wince, cry or beg, but eventually, they do what I want. "
Before she can finish her threat, Kara has her in an armlock, and Veronica's face is pushed up against a wall. "And I'm not really the sort of person who likes to touch or be touched without permission. I'm all about consent, y'know."
Kara lets her go with a forced cheery smile before storming out.
_________
Lena, on the other hand, is the reclusive CEO of L-Corp. Her dating life is nonexistent, because she's married to her work, and trying to repair the shambles of the company her brother almost bankrupted with his schemes.
She had her gay awakening in boarding school, secretly staring at Veronica Sinclair's profile in biology class, and watching her smoke under the bleachers from afar. Lena as a schoolgirl was much too focused on escaping everyone else's radar that she and Veronica didn't interact much, but when they did, they didn't get along. Veronica was too much like a snake for Lena's liking - beautiful to look at, but venomous and deadly.
So when Veronica begins displaying an interest in her, Lena avoids her as much as she can. It's not that difficult, she's the CEO of a multinational conglomerate after all.
Things change when Veronica begins to.... court her. Or whatever version of it Veronica is capable of - which, coming from Veronica, feels more like coercion than courtship.
Veronica keeps sending gifts to L-Corp, and when Lena ignores or returns them, she begins making donations to Lena's various charities and sends her extensive (and admittedly sometimes dubious) contacts Lena's way whenever she gets wind that Lena has need of them for whatever innovation she plans to develop next. 
She conveniently runs into Lena, at galas and fundraisers, and other various events that Lena mostly goes to just to keep up appearances. Every time, Veronica is there, scorching Lena with dark, heavy-lidded eyes.
And Lena is only human.
It's nice to have all this positive attention when all her life she's lived under the shadow of her family's infamy, especially when she's been dragged by everyone recently after what Lex did. 
And she will admit, it.... it feels nice to be desired after being scorned for years, especially by someone she had stared at and wanted for years as a girl.
She gives in and agrees to a drink. One drink. That ends up with her bent over her kitchen counter, panting against the marble while Veronica fucks her from behind.
Veronica doesn't stay the night. Nor does she answer any phone calls the next day. When Lena finds out that one of the contacts Veronica had sent her way backed out from an important project at Veronica's insistence, she deletes Veronica's number from her phone. 
When scandalous pictures of Lena and Veronica in a very clearly compromised position are released by the tabloids, she grits her teeth and takes the hit from the board of investors. Then she downs two glasses of her heaviest scotch in quick succession before drinking it straight from the bottle.
Jess, ever the efficient assistant, gathers as much information as she can on Veronica for retaliation. That’s when she first hears about “Supergirl”, this elusive dating consultant who, from what Jess gleaned from Veronica’s circles, supposedly connects people with women they want to sleep with.
She almost doesn’t tell Lena. But Jess knows her well, and she knows Lena would rather know the truth. So Jess tells her, and hands her the nondescript little blue and red business card with an anonymous phone number on it.
Lena looks down at it, the muscles of her jaw twitching even if the rest of her face is still. When Jess leaves, she throws it in the trash, and throws herself back into work.
_________
Fast forward a year later, Kara meets Lena when she acquires tickets to an L-Corp event for one of her clients. She’s there mostly for surveillance and as back-up for her client, in case she’s needed, but she spots Lena drinking alone at the bar.
Kara sits down next to her with a smile. Lena politely nods back before she goes back to nursing her own drink.
Kara keeps studying her, even though Lena pointedly ignores her, and out of the blue, Kara tips her glass at her and grins. “I bet you a date I can make you laugh.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“You look like you could use a laugh right now. I bet you one date that I can make you laugh.”
“Excuse me--”
“Hear me out. My terms are simple. If I can make you laugh, I get to take you out on a date. Preferably somewhere as far away as we can get from this stuffy shindig. It’s a win-win for you. Your mood gets better, and you get to see me out of my suit.” Kara leans in with a conspiratorial grin. “‘Cause if you think I look good in a suit and tie, trust me, I look much better in jeans and a t-shirt. ”
“Oh, really?” Lena’s expression morphs from one of surprise to amusement. “And what do I get if I win?”
“Well...” Kara’s grin goes wider, and she intentionally drops her eyes to Lena’s lips. Lena’s mouth parts a little, but instead of moving forward, Kara plops the small tub of maraschino cherries from the bar in front of her. “I’ll share these with you. And if you knew me, you would know what a big deal it is that I’m even offering to share food with you.”
The corner of Lena’s lips lifts into a small smile. “Deal.”
She offers a hand out for Kara’s to shake, and Kara takes it in hers. Kara’s hand is warm, calloused and long-fingered. Lena quite likes the feel of it, but she’d rather die than admit it. Just like she’d rather die than give Kara a laugh.
The next half-hour is spent with Kara using the worst pick-up lines on her, each progressively worse than the next, in an effort to make Lena laugh.
“Do you believe in love at first sight—or should I walk by again?”
“I'm no photographer, but I can picture us together.“
Lena shakes her head. “God, you are bad at this.”
“Well, can you blame me? You’re so beautiful you made me forget my pickup line." Kara winks, and Lena bites her lip to keep from smiling too much.
“Here’s another one -- Is this the Hogwarts Express? Because it feels like you and I are headed somewhere magical.”
Lena rolls her eyes. “Oh God, and you’re a nerd.” She neglects to mention that she’s probably a bigger nerd than this girl.
“Do you like Star Wars? Because Yoda only one for me!” Lena almost grins too widely at that one, but she schools her expression.
“Are you the SAT? Because I’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes with a ten minute break in the middle for snacks.”
Lena takes a sip of her whiskey to hide her smile. “I finished mine in under two hours, so...”
“Well, I’m no mathematician, but I’m pretty good with numbers. Tell you what, give me yours and watch what I can do with it.”
“Can I follow you where you’re going right now? Because I was always told to follow my dreams.”
By now, Lena’s struggling not to smile too much. Her mood has definitely improved, thanks to this nosy yet attractive blonde with the sparkling blue eyes and the irrepressible grin. 
When Kara tries her next pick-up line “Didn’t I see you on the cover of CatCo magazine?” Lena finally laughs. Kara’s face lights up and she does a fist-pump.
“You probably did, I was on the cover last January.” Lena holds out her hand again. “Lena Luthor.”
The other woman grins widely, irresistibly. “Kara Danvers.”
“I guess I owe you a date, Kara Danvers.” Lena smiles as she rises from her seat. Just before she leaves, she slides the tub of cherries back toward Kara.
“Just so you know, I’m allergic to cherries.”
__________
Their first date is a disaster. 
Hordes of paparazzi attempt to follow them, all eager for the scoop on “Lena Luthor’s new lady love”, and Lena’s security team deems it unsafe for them to go to the gallery Kara knows Lena would have loved. 
Instead, they stay holed up in Lena’s office, and Kara orders in Big Belly Burger while she pulls up pictures of the art made by the trans street artist that the gallery was featuring. One of her old clients, though she doesn’t mention it to Lena.
But Lena sits beside her on the white couch, heels off, feet tucked under her, humming in appreciation as the two of them pore over the young artist’s work. They spend hours on the couch, talking and laughing, shoulders barely touching. The date ends with Lena enthusiastically purchasing many of the artist’s pieces, while Kara studies her with a small smile on her face.
The next date is no better. 
To avoid the paparazzi, Kara decides that they should stay in again. She painstakingly sets up a private dinner at the rooftop of L-Corp -- with the help of Jess, who has now been recruited into her operations -- complete with Lena’s favorite food, a trail of candles, and Lena’s favorite flowers. 
Unfortunately, the weather report that morning betrays Kara, and the skies suddenly open up in a heavy downpour, leaving her drenched like a drowned rat with nothing but doused candles and a water-logged meal.
Kara sulks, frustrated and disappointed, looking at the mess that was half a day’s efforts. The small bouquet of plumerias she had been planning to give Lena wilts, sodden in her hand. She’s a little startled when an umbrella suddenly appears over her head, and she turns to see Lena surveying the mess on her rooftop.
Instead of being annoyed, Lena smiles at the whole soaked wreckage, then at Kara, who sheepishly holds up the sodden white flowers and offers it to her with a defeated shrug. Lena takes it with a small laugh.
“Thank you.” Lena takes the flowers with one hand, the one holding the umbrella, and slips the other into Kara’s slippery hand. It makes Kara smile, and she lets Lena pull her back into the building.
In her office, Jess -- bless her, she would do wonders for Kara’s business if Kara could ever steal her away from Lena -- has laid out fluffy white towels and a blanket. Lena takes a towel and drapes it over Kara’s shoulders, rubbing lightly to dry her as much as she can.
Kara stays very still. She could insist that she can do it herself, but there’s something almost... entrancing about the way Lena bites her lip as she rubs Kara’s back and shoulders in wide, gentle circles.
When she reaches up to dry off Kara’s hair, Kara finds herself leaning forward. Lena studiously avoids her gaze for a moment, toweling off the ends of Kara’s hair. Kara’s hand gently encloses her wrist in a loose grip, giving Lena enough time to pull away if she wants to. Lena looks up, fragile, glass-green eyes finally meeting Kara’s mesmerized stare.
Lena’s hand stops moving, and Kara slips her hand from Lena’s wrist to her chin, fingers slowly tracing from her jaw to her neck until she can slip her fingers right under her head. Lena’s eyelashes flutter, and her pulse beats rapidly under Kara’s palm. She pulls Lena just a little bit closer, and she feels Lena’s breath stutter. 
“Kara, I...” Lena’s lips part to form words, and Kara’s gaze is immediately drawn to her mouth, full and red and tempting.
Before Kara can lean forward, Lena is pulling away. Kara feels disappointment crash over her like the downpour of rain on the rooftop, but she lets Lena go, lets her clear her throat and straighten herself. “I-I asked Jess to get you some dry clothes. You can change in the bathroom.”
Kara dutifully accepts the clothes, taking one last moment to study Lena, before closing the door behind her. When she’s done changing, she returns to find Lena on their couch, surrounded by food from Kara’s favorite Chinese restaurant. 
Lena looks up at her with wide eyes and an appreciative smile. “Well, you were right. You do look good in jeans and a t-shirt.”
Kara grins. Despite the earlier awkward moment, she thinks they’re okay. “You should see me in flannel.”
Their third date is at a dive bar. 
Not exactly common date fare for a multi-billionaire, but Kara thinks Lena will like the change. They’re soon joined by Kara’s friends, and Kara chuckles a little at Lena’s deer-in-the-headlights expression. She runs her hands up and down Lena’s arms to reassure her.
“Don’t worry, they’ll love you.”
She’s already drilled into her friends to be on their best behavior around Lena, but of course, her sister is the first to break that rule.
Alex smirks as she shakes Lena’s hand. “So... you’re the Lena I’ve been hearing so much about. Kara hasn’t shut up about you for weeks. Every sister night, it’s ‘Lena this’, ‘Lena that’, ‘Alex she’s just so pretty’, ‘Alex, she’s so smart, like you would not believe’, ‘God, Alex, I just wanna--- mmphff!”
Alex’s voice is muffled by Kara’s hand slapping over her mouth. “Sorry! This is my sister Alex, and she is going to be silent for the rest of the night, and -- Ew! Did you just lick my hand?? Gross!”
The rest of the night progresses smoothly. Lena manages to beat Kara soundly at pool (”It’s basic geometry”) -- and Kara’s definitely not gonna complain, because holy crap, the view she gets whenever Lena bends over to take a shot almost makes her pass out several times. Lena, however, loses spectacularly to Alex at darts (”Excuse you, I have great aim. I’ve just never played darts before.” ”Yeah, yeah, sure. Pay up, Miss CEO”). At one point, Kara hears her offering Kelly a position in her VR department, so it’s safe for Kara to assume that Lena’s having a good time.
The only tiny baby hiccup of the night is when Kara offers to get her another drink from the bar, and Lena’s eyes tighten a little before she refuses with a polite smile. Throughout the night, Lena carefully sticks to one glass of wine and no more.
When the group disperses for the night, Lena offers Kara a ride home. A few blocks in, Kara asks her the question niggling at the back of her mind.
“Why didn’t you drink anything tonight? I mean -- you don’t have to answer that, I-I was just curious. I know you have a bar in your office, and I’ve seen your collection of scotches that probably cost more than my yearly rent. But you barely touched your wine tonight.”
Lena is quiet at first, fiddling with her purse. Kara lays a soft, gentle hand on top of hers to still her nervous fingers. “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me anything--”
“The last time I got drunk at a bar with a beautiful woman, it almost ended up ruining my life.”
The story slowly unfolds, and Lena shows Kara the tabloid pictures of her and Veronica. Kara merely sits and listens, even after Lena’s driver has parked the car in front of her apartment.
She’d known Veronica was bad news from their first and only meeting, but she hadn’t known how truly atrocious she was. Kara is acutely aware that there’s a high probability Lena was the woman Veronica had been talking about when they met. She finds herself vacillating between the need to tell Lena the truth, and the need to keep her own anonymity.
No one outside of her friends and clients knows what she does. And she had refused Veronica outright as a client. Exposing Kara’s part in this, however small and non-existential it was, would mean exposing herself as “Supergirl” to someone who’s not a client. 
Besides, telling Lena would only add another complication to an already complicated mess. Lena has moved on, she’s recovering from the fallout Veronica left on her life, and telling her this will only set her back, open wounds that are probably better off left alone to heal.
Kara takes Lena’s fluttering hands in a gentle grip. She meets Lena’s eyes with a warm, steadfast gaze. “ I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve any of this, Lena. That woman, she doesn’t deserve someone as amazing as you.”
Lena doesn’t speak, just looks at her with soft, heart-hurt eyes. Kara feels her chest constrict, robbing her of breath, and she knows that she would do anything to make sure this woman is never hurt again.
She doesn’t realize she’s spoken it out loud, breathed it into the space between them, until Lena drifts forward and presses their lips together. 
Kara’s mouth is still half-parted, and she tastes the wine from Lena’s mouth. She feels a tingling that starts from where their mouths are pressed together, soft lips meeting soft lips, spreading through the rest of her body.
It’s like being wired alive, and Kara’s hands move of their own accord, settling firm and greedy on Lena’s hips, urging her closer. Her fingers slide under Lena’s expensive top, finding warm skin there and making Lena gasp into her mouth. Kara shifts, and Lena shifts with her, hauling herself onto Kara’s lap. Her tongue sweeps over Kara’s lower lip, filling her mouth with the taste of wine and Lena, and Kara moans into the kiss.
Eventually, Kara knows they have to stop. They’ve been parked in front of her apartment for more than half an hour with the engine running. She won’t be able to look Lena’s driver in the eye for a few weeks. Her nosy old neighbor is likely peering at them through the curtains, and who knows if there are any reporters following Lena. Despite every cell in her body protesting, she pulls away from Lena slowly, trying to catch her breath.
Lena doesn’t look like she’s faring much better. She rests her forehead against Kara’s and her possessive grip on the collar of Kara’s button-down pulls her forward. Her eyes are closed, her breathing heavy, and her lipstick is smeared in the most delicious way that almost makes Kara kiss her again.
When Lena’s eyes open, Kara can see the crystal green of them. Her heart squeezes at the brilliance and tenderness of Lena’s eyes and oh, Kara’s in trouble. Lena’s fingertips gently stroke Kara’s cheek. “You’re amazing, Kara Danvers.”
Lena lets her go, and Kara somehow manages to stumble out of the car. She stands on the sidewalk in front of her apartment building, waves like an idiot with a silly grin on her face, as Lena’s smiling face disappears from her view.
Well, shit. She’s fucked.
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janicho88 · 4 years ago
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Fire, Fur & Mistletoe Chapter 2
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Pairing- Dean x Lisa, Eventual Dean x Female Reader.
Word Count-6,102
Warning- Mentions of: loss of parents, death, car accidents, and fires, alcoholism.  Fired from a job. Putting animals up for adoption, eviction.  Possible swearing. Slight angst. Fluff,
Summary- A rewrite of the Nine Lives of Christmas, Hallmark movie. AU, Dean is a firefighter who doesn’t do commitment, the Holiday’s don’t mean much to him.  Coming home after a shift he finds a dog in trouble.  The reader is a veterinary student who works in a coffee shop trying to make it to graduation, until someone causes problems there for her.  She isn’t interested in finding anyone other than her own dog until after she finishes school.  Do their four legged friends have other plans?
A/N- This series is written for @spnchristmasbingo.  The square filled for this chapter is Decorating.  The first two chapters will stay closer to the movie than the rest will.  
This has its own tag list and it is open.  That way I am not tagging anyone who doesn’t want to be tagged in Christmas stories.   This story is unbeta’d.
Header by the amazing @winchest09
Divider from freepngimg.com
Series Masterlist
The day after you were fired you dragged yourself to class determined to keep pushing toward your goal.  No matter how upset you might have been.  Charlie tried to distract you but it didn’t work.  You spent the night trying to study for your upcoming finals. 
Thursday, you went through the want ads and looked for any openings you would be qualified for.  The hardest part was needing flexible hours for school.  Then you prepared your resume and looked up other places in town who might have online applications you could fill out.  
Friday, Charlie reminded you of the Sweet on You party you had agreed to go to.  With everything happening you had completely forgotten, but told her you would meet her there when she didn’t back down.  Walking up the driveway to the house where tonight’s party was, you could see all the happy people inside.  You could see Charlie was laughing with a brown haired girl in the living room window.  You didn’t fit in with this group tonight, you couldn’t pretend to be happy.
Taking out your cell phone you call Charlie’s phone to leave her a message.  “Hey, I’m so sorry.  I’m not going to be able to make it to the mixer.  I hope you have fun.  I’ll see you in class.”  
Turning around you head back to your car to go home and spend the night on your couch with Dakota. 
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Dean took Miracle back home, Lisa complaining about the dog the whole time.  He just tuned her out. 
Wednesday he was back at the station for a 48hr shift.  Things were a little slow, which was good in the sense that people weren’t in trouble and needing them, but it could also make for a long day.  He was in the workout room with the guys when Bobby walked in with wrapping paper.  It was for the toys that had been donated.
“No adoption huh?”  He asked, seeing Miracle sitting next to Benny.
“Not yet, Lisa is still trying.  He probably deserves a better owner than me.”
“Do you know having a dog can be good for your health?”  Cas asked.
“No, but I think I do sleep better since he’s been around.”
“You know you are going to have to choose between her and the dog, right?” Cas wanted to know.
“I’ve got an idea, brother.  How about you keep Miracle and give Lisa my number.” Benny suggested.
“I think Miracle would make a better girlfriend than Lisa. I’m not sure that will work when you and Andrea, finally get back together.” Sam threw out.
“Yeah, but who knows when that will be?  I could have some fun in the meantime.”
“You’re awful.”
“Thanks, Shaggy.”  Benny throwing out his nickname for Sam.
“Are we going to keep him around here when we’re working?  Make him our firehouse Mascot?”  Cas wanted to know.
“The other stations have Dalmatians, they might make fun of us for him.”  Benny stated.
“Who cares, makes us unique.  We don’t need to be like the others anyway.”  Bobby told them before walking over to Dean.  “So Winchester, what are you going to do?  Keep the good old boy, or let a girl push him away.  I told you, I don’t trust a girl who doesn’t like dogs.”
Dean spent the first night of the shift thinking about his options and what the guys had said. The next day at the firehouse he left Miracle at the station when he had a minute to run a quick errand, there was a stop he needed to make.
Walking into Braeden’s he looked around, but didn’t see Y/N anywhere.  So he headed up to talk to the blonde running the register.  
“Hi, I was in here a few days ago.  I’m looking for the girl who was working with you, Y/N.”
“Y/N, she was such a great person.  I miss seeing her.  She no longer works here.  She got fired.”
“What, why?  What happened?”
“Your girlfriend, Lisa.  Complained about Y/N to her dad.  I don’t think Mr Bradean really  wanted to fire her, she’s the best barista we had. She  remembers people's orders and their  favorites.  She handles the difficult ones without a problem.  The only one of  us who can get the cranberry bars just right, and this time of year they are the most popular.  His daughter is a beautiful, but horrible superficial nightmare of a person.”
“I get it.”
“She is trying to put herself through school.  She really needed this job.”
“Wow, I’m so sorry to hear that.  Do you have her number or home address, maybe?”
“Why, she doesn’t have enough problems, now you want to go burn down her house too?”
“What? No.  I want to apologize.”
“Oh really?”  Claire leans against the other counter folding her arms and glaring at Dean.
 “I didn't know Lisa did that,  I would have stopped her if I did. I’m so sorry.  Please.  I feel really awful this happened to her.  Is there any information you can give me that would help me find her?”
 “Her last name is Y/L/N, that’s all I am going to tell you about her.”
“Thank you.”
He leaves to head back to the station.  There still isn’t much going on so he grabs his computer and uses some of the down time to sit in the common room and look up Y/N Y/L/N on social media accounts.  Bobby is in the kitchen area behind working on some food.  Cas, Benny and Sam are playing cards at the long dinner table.  
“Any luck yet?  Bobby asked.
“Nope, I can’t find her anywhere.  None of these profiles on facebook,or  linked in are her.  I even searched twitter.”  
“I can’t believe Lisa got her fired.”  Cas just shook his head. 
“That’s pretty cold, man.  Maybe I don’t want her to have my number.” 
“Not a problem Benny.”
“You know, you haven’t told us anything about this girl you are trying so hard to find.”
“She is wicked smart.  I would bet she’s getting straight A’s.”
“Okay more important question here,”  Benny interrupts.  “What does she look like?”  
Cas and Sam both throw chips at him for that comment. 
“Hey, I’m curious, here?”
“She’s really pretty, but she’s the kinda girl that doesn’t know it.”
“That’s the best kind.”  Bobby tells him.
“Is she nice?”  
“Unbelievably so, she is super sweet.  She loves animals, especially dogs.”
“Okay so let’s see if I got this, she’s wicked smart.  Pretty but not full of herself, sweet with a heart of gold?”
“Yeah.”  Dean looks around and everyone is looking at him.  “What am I missing here?”
“Apparently a lot,”  his brother tells him.
“She sounds like a special person.”
Dean shrugs, “Yeah, she is I guess.”
“I have an idea.”  Sam turned to Dean.  “Why don’t you ask your girlfriend to get it from her dad.  Actually that is a conversation I would pay to watch you have with Lisa.  ‘Lisa can you get me the address of the girl you had fired so I can go apologize to her, for you being the bitch you are.  See I’m in love with her, but I haven’t figured that out for myself yet.’ “
“Are you done?”  Dean asks his brother anything but amused.
“For now,”  the younger Winchester joins in laughing with the others.
“Boy, you are a special kind of idjit.  You lot, go finish that equipment inventory.”
“Sure thing Chief, just let me beat these guys real quick.”  Looking up Benny sees Bobby’s face.  “Or now is good.” 
Bobby walks over to the table from the kitchen counter he was working at, “So, Y/N.”
“She doesn’t want to date until after she graduates and starts working.  She is nothing like the kind of girl I go out with normally, anyways.  She actually believes in true love and Marriage.”
“It’s really not that bad you know.  Don’t tell Ellen I said that.”
Dean chuckles at that, knowing how much the grumpy man really does love his wife.
“Just because things didn’t work out for your parents doesn’t mean it won’t for you.  Look at Sam and Jess.”
“It’s not what I’m looking for Bobby.”
“Then why are you here spending your time searching for this very pretty and smart girl?”
“I just want to apologize.”
“Yeah, sure.  Don’t you want a family one day?  Someone you can share the Holidays and special moments with?”
“You and the guys are my family.  You know this.”
“As close as you and your brother are, you still can’t snuggle up with me the other idjits on a cold night, after a rough shift.”
“Is that a firm no?”
Bobby just shakes his head at Dean's attempt at humor, and goes back to the kitchen.
When the shift ends Friday afternoon he takes Miracle home and tries to relax before getting some work around the house done.  He goes back Saturday for a 24 hour shift.
“It looks like the two of us are going to be stuck together for a little while.  You can stay until I finish here and sell the house.  Then you are on your own.  For now on we can come and go as we please.   You aren’t responsible for me, I’m not responsible for you,  That work for you?  Just a couple of bachelor's living together.  Good talk, let’s go watch the game.”  Miracle follows Dean into the living room, curling up in his lap.
After the game Dean heads out to get some supplies he needs to work on the house.  Lisa is in the kitchen with dinner when he arrives back home.  
“What are you doing here Lisa?  Weren’t you supposed to have a shoot today?”
“It was postponed so I came over to make you dinner, it took all day.”
“You made the food here?”  
“Yeah so it would be nice and hot when you got out.”
“Uhuh. hey have you seen Miracle? 
“No, figured it was with you.”
“He was here earlier”
“I’m sure it’s around somewhere.  Go shower I’m sure you smell like smoke.  I’ll put the food on the table.”
“My shift ended hours ago, Lisa.  I already showered.  I need to look for Miracle.”
“Miracle hey, come here dog.” she pretends to look for him.  “Guess he’s not here, let’s eat.”
“He usually greets me when I come home, he must have gotten out.  I need to go find him.”
“Why? It’s just a stupid dog, who cares?  Now come eat this delicious dinner I made.”  That puts Dean over the edge with her.
He turns back around in the doorway, “You just don’t get it do you?  Did you really have that barista from your father’s coffee shop fired?”
“Yeah, she was completely awful to me.  I can’t have that.”
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“She was giving you facts about Miracles, She wasn’t doing anything to you.  You can’t just have people fired when you don’t like what they say Lisa.”
“Sure I can.  She doesn’t matter, the dog is finally gone.  Everything is just how it’s supposed to be.”  She tells him with a shrug.
“You know, I don’t think this is going to work.” 
“What?”
“You and me.”
 “Wait, are you seriously breaking up with me?”
“Yeah, yeah I guess I am.”
“I’m a model and you think you are going to break up with me?”
“You might need to get your hearing checked, yes I am.”
“You can’t do that, I'm the best thing to ever happen to you.  You are going to regret this Dean Winchester.  I won’t take you back when you come begging me to.  I spent all day making this dinner for you.  I got my hair done for you, these highlights were expensive.”
“No, you actually didn’t.  That stove isn’t connected, I just bought it. I know it doesn’t work yet, and the take out bags are sticking out of the trash outside.  Nice try though.  I’m sure the hair was for you and no one else. I think you need to go, Lisa.”
She stomps out of the room in a huff, slamming the front door when she exits.
Dean went to look for Miracle but didn’t have any luck finding him.  The backdoor wasn’t shut tight, Lisa must have done that when she took the trash out. 
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Saturday was spent with your list going to all the places you found that might be looking for help, and making stops with those who had ‘Now Hiring’ signs up.  Passing some Christmas carolers in the town square you stop and listens for a moment.  You do love this time of year.   A couple of places took your resume, but others weren’t very keen to work around a school schedule.
The best you could do is just keep trying until something works in your favor. 
Sunday, morning Donna was over bright and early to start your day together.   She brought donuts and coffee with her.  Chatting with you and petting Dakota as you got yourself ready to go.  The first stop she had planned for the two of you were mani/pedi’s.  It had been a long time since you felt that relaxed.  For a little while in the chair you were able to forget about your troubles.  When you were done there the two of you visited a few shops you were passing by.  
From there you grabbed a light lunch and listened to the carolers and watched the other shoppers.  
“I should head back home to study.”
“No, we had a deal.  It’s time for your hair and makeup appointment.  Then i’m taking you to get a new dress.”
“I don’t know.”
“Hey, I know you.  I bet you already know everything you need for your exam.  You are just overthinking it. Relax.  Take some time to enjoy the Holiday season.”
“Fine.”
When your hair and nails were done she took you to a little boutique to look for a dress for the Mayor’s party.  You tried on multiple options before she handed you a black long sleeve one stopped mid thigh.
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“Come on out already, I want to see it.”
You pulled the curtain back and stepped out.
“Wow, look at you girl.  Green eyes is going to flip when he sees you in this.”
“Oh no, I can’t afford this one.”
“I’m going to get it for you, I got a bonus.  You deserve to be taken care of once in a while too.”
“It’s too much.”
“Y/N, when mom and dad died, you came home to take care of me.  You put your whole life on hold, just for me.  This dress is nothing compared to that.  Please let me do this.”
You walked over to look in the mirror, Donna coming up beside you.  “You look like mom.”
“I do?”
“Yeah, you do.”
Turning, you give your sister a big hug.
Leaving there you thought she was finally taking you home to study but you find her pulling into the fire station and you start to panic.  “What, what are we doing here?
“Do you really think I’m just going to take you home looking like that?  You are going to walk in there and make Green eyes faint.  Plus I want to meet him, you said he was working today.”
Dang it.  “No, no.”
“Come on, you can’t hide him forever.”
“I have to study for my final, I have to go home. Now.  Let’s go.”
“If you don’t get out and walk your but in I am going to drag you in there. Do you really want that?”  She was already unbuckling her seatbelt and going to open her door. 
“Wait! I’ll go in.  Okay I’ll go in.”
“He is going to be so surprised.”
“You have absolutely no idea how surprised.  You know what?I should really go in alone.”  Donna sits back in her seat raising her eyebrow at you.
“Why is that?”
“He’s going to see this outfit and want to grab me, and start kissing me.  One thing can lead to another.  It’ll be a little awkward with you there.  That’s not the best circumstances to meet him, when he’s making out with your older sister.  You can meet him at the Christmas party, promise.”
“Alright, fine.  I want details, I’ll wait here.”
“Oh no, that’s okay.”  Pretending to check the time.  “He’s about to get off shift, he can take me home.”
“Okay, fine.  Take care.  Have fun.”
“Thank you, and thank you for today.”
 You get out of her truck and slowly make your way up to the fire station, turning back to wave at your sister.  When she finally pulls away and you can’t see her anymore you turn and start walking back to your condo.  Great, you're in heels, this will be fun.  You don’t get too far down the road when you hear a dog bark at you.  Looking around you see a dog that looks like one you met earlier in the week.  He comes over rubbing against your bare legs and you check his collar.  Sure enough it says Miracle.  Just great.
“Hey there buddy, what are you doing out here?  Are you lost?”
Turning around and walking back to the station Miracle following along behind you.  When you step inside there are three guys working on cleaning the truck.
“Hi, sorry to bother you, I’m looking for the owner of this dog,”  You point to Miracle who is now sitting beside you.
“He’s mine!” two men call out at the same time, then turn and glare at each other.   The third with longer hair just shakes his head at them. 
“I think he belongs to someone named, Dean?”
“Yo, Jerk get out here.”  The shaggy haired man yells out.
Dean comes walking out from inside a minute later, “Bitch, what do you…”  He suddenly notices you, “Hey I’ve been looking for you two, how did you end up together?”  Bobby comes out to join Sam, Cas and Benny.  The four of them watching you and Dean.
“You’ve been looking for me?”  That really surprises you.
“Yeah, I heard about your job. I’m really sorry It’s my fault.”
“That wasn’t your fault it was all your girlfriend.”
“She’s not my girlfriend anymore.”
“That’s good.”  You seriously had no filter.  Dean looked up at you a little shocked by your comment.  “I’m mean, that’s too bad.”
“It’s alright, I knew she wasn’t the nicest, but I didn’t realize she could be that awful.  I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, at least you have Miracle back now.  Have a good night.”  With that you turned to walk out of the station.
Dean turns back around and the guys are all pointing and gesturing to you.  “Hey, Y/N, I’m getting off work soon.  Could I give you a ride home, or maybe buy you dinner?”
“Thank you for offering but you don’t have to. I'm fine walking.”
“Come on, let me buy you dinner.  With everything that’s happened it’s the least I can do.”
“You really don’t..”
Three shouts of “it’s the least he can do.”  Come from behind Dean.
“Okay, but only if I can take you to my favorite place.”
“Alright, do I need to run and change first?”  He looks down at his uniform blue pants and shirt.  If your favorite place is anything like Lisa's he is going to need dress pants a tie, the whole shebang.  
You pretend to look him over, “No I think I can get you in just fine dressed like that, I know the owner pretty well.  But what about Miracle?”
“He can hang out here, he’ll be fine with the guys around here.”
“Okay.” 
Bobby comes up to get Miracle, “We like having him here.”
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Dean takes you to the common area and you wait in there until he is finished with his shift.  When you leave you give him directions to your favorite taco truck.  Dean wasn’t expecting this at all.
“This is really your favorite place?”
“Yes, taking a bite out of one of his tacos is like a surprise party in your mouth.  He’s open all night.  So when I’m studying really late I come and grab something from here.”
Grabbing your food you go and sit at one of the nearby tables.  Dean groans when he takes his first bite. “Oh you weren’t lying that is so good.”
“I know right?”  You smile at him. A sudden chill hitting you.  You tried to hide that you were cold because a big part of you really didn’t want the night to end.  Dean saw it anyway.
“Are you cold?”
“I’m alright.”  He shook his head at you.  
“I’ll be right back.  He returns with his yellow coat from his uniform draping it over your shoulders to keep you warm.
“Thank you.”  The two of you get up from the table and walk around the nearby park looking at the light displays around you.
“When I was 19 my parents died in a car accident.  I was away at college then.  I came back home to raise my little sister.  When she entered college I went back and started my undergrad back up.  Now I’m trying to finish veterinary school.”
“What made you want to become a vet?”
“My parents were huge animal lovers. My sister and I grew up around animals and that love for them passed down to us.  My mom was always taking in strays.  When I was seven, walking home from school I found a baby bird in the middle of the road.  The little guy was hurt when he fell out of his nest.  I took him home and nursed him back to health with the help of my parents.  I was there when he was finally able to take his first flight.  That’s when I realized I wanted to be a vet and help animals when I grew up.  What about you?  Why did you want to become a firefighter?”
“When I was four our house caught on fire, I was carrying my little brother Sammy out of the house.  The front door was engulfed in flames, I wasn’t sure how to get out.  This firefighter crashed through the living room window and got us to safety.”
“Wow.”  
“My mom was trapped, but they managed to get both of my parents out.  They blamed each other for the fire and started fighting a lot. Until they eventually divorced.  We lost my dad to the bottle a couple years ago.  Mom to a car accident.  The firefighters made me feel safe, and took care of me and my brother that night.  I wanted to be able to do that for others one day.”
“That’s powerful.”
He just nodded.
“What were your parents like?”
“They were so in love, they met in high school and that was it."
"So you could say he jumped in front of her and stopped her in his tracks. She followed him to the highest peak?”  He asks as he smiles at you.
It took you about thirty seconds to realize what he was saying, “You remembered the mountain lions.”
“Yeah, I did.”
The both of you sat there a few more minutes lost in your own thoughts before you reluctantly spoke up.  “I’ve really enjoyed tonight.  It’s been really nice, but I have a big final tomorrow morning.  I should try and get a little more studying in.”
“Okay, no problem.  I’ll take you home.”
Reluctantly you got up and followed Dean to his truck.  You gave him the address to you
 place, and he found it no problem.  As a fireman he most likely knows his way around town very well.  He walked you to the door when you arrived home.
“Thank you for dinner, it was nice of you.”
“No problem, Sweetheart.  Thank you for accepting my apology.”
The two of you stood there looking at one another for a minute or so before you snapped out of it.  
“Goodnight, Dean.”
“Goodnight, Y/N.  Good luck on your final tomorrow.”
“Thank you.”
The two of you so lost in thought you didn’t realize you were still wearing his coat until after he had already driven away.  
Your dreams that night revolved around a pair of green eyes, with a boyish smile and a great laugh.
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You were studying as you were getting ready Monday morning, trying to get any last bit of new information in that you could.  All too quickly it was time to head out.  
Sitting down next to Charlie you apologized to her for missing Friday again.  She told you all about the girl she met there, Dorthey.  She seemed to really click with this one.  You were very happy for her.  At least one of you could get what you wanted.
The two of you walked out of the Veterinary school building an hour and a half later.  “Okay, that final was so much tougher that I thought it was going to be.”
“Charlie, I’m sure you did great.”
“At least that was our last one. Now Christmas break is finally here!”  She broke into a little dance as she was saying this.
“I’m glad you are so excited about this,”  you laughed watching her.  Turning back around someone caught your eye.
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“Hi.”
“Hey, how did the test go?”
You were a little flustered, did he come all this way just to ask about your test?  “I think I did all right on it.”
“That’s great, glad to hear it.  How about I take you out for coffee and we can celebrate?”
Charlie was looking back and forth between the two of you, when she finally got a good look at Dean’s face.  “That’s Green eyes?”  She exclaimed much loudly for your liking.  Judging by Dean’s laugh and slight blush, he heard it too.
Reaching out you quickly smack her arm before turning back to Dean.  “That’s so nice of you to offer, but dinner last night was enough.”
“Wait he took you to dinner last night?”  Charlie wanted to know looking at Dean then you.
“Yes, please shut up.”  You whispered to her
“Let him take you for coffee.  She would love to go with you.”  Charlie turned to Dean shaking her head yes.
Dean was amused by Charlie's antics. You on the other hand could hurt your friend.  “Besides the coffee, I kinda need my coat back for work tonight.
“Oh, yeah.  I’m so sorry about that, I didn’t realize I still had it on till after you left.”
“It’s alright, let me take you for coffee and we can grab it after.”
“Alright.”
Charlie pushed you toward Dean, “Have fun you two!”
Dean took you to a coffee shop you had never been to before.  The two of you enjoying a nice conversation before being on your way.  When you were walking back to your place you commented on the shop.
“I really liked that place.  I’ve never been there before.  Or even heard of them before.”
“You know what they say, firemen and police always know where to get the best coffee. There was one I really liked, only had it a few times.  I’m pretty sure it was the barista there who made it so good.”  Dean winking at you as he said it.
The front of your condo coming into view. The door was wide open.  “Oh this is bad, so very bad.”  You run up the steps toward the door.
“What’s going on?”
“She found Dakota.” Dean watches you run inside slowly following behind, but staying out of sight.
Your landlady is standing at the counter when you come rushing in.  Hearing you she turns around.
“I just knew you were hiding something.  I had a plumber come in and check out your sink.  Do you know what he found?”  She asked you while holding up an Effective Immediately Eviction notice.
“Where is she?”
“I shut her in the back bedroom.”  You went right over to check on your girl.
When you come back she starts right back in on you.  “This is a clear violation of the Angel Arms by laws.  You have to be out by the end of the day.”
Good things get any worse for you right now?  Where were you supposed to go?
Just then Dean comes walking in holding up his fireman identification and badge, “I assume you gave this tenant 48 hours notice before you had a service person enter the residence?”
“I, um I’m not sure.”
“How about the fire code?  Are you all up to date on all of the apartment codes pertaining to apartment and condo buildings?”
She couldn’t even get a word out.
“What about all the bylaws with the state's statutes?”
“Well, I would think I…”
“I’ll be back next week and make sure you are in compliance with each and every state and city fire code.  If you aren’t I’m afraid I’ll have to slap you with a 777, and close this place down.”
Her eyes widened at that and she quickly left the building.  No doubt to start looking into all the codes and begin the tedious work of making sure each one was met.
You were watching Dean in awe, you couldn’t believe he would go to all this trouble for you.
“I’m sorry I won’t be able to stop the eviction, but I can make her miserable for awhile.”
“Dean, I don't know what to say.  Thank you for doing that.”
“Talk later, let’s get packing.”
“What?”
“You have to be out today, let’s go.”
“You’re going to help me?  Dean I don’t even know where I can go.  My sister doesn’t have room for us.  I couldn’t find a place to rent before this happened.”
“I have an idea.  The house I’m renovating right now, it has an upstairs apartment.  There is even an outside entrance so you could come and go as you needed.”
“Dean, I couldn’t do that and impose on you.”
“You aren’t.  I’m inviting you to stay.  You won’t even have to pay rent. So you can save for a new apartment. Plus I’m the reason you got fired.”
He really was giving you a tempting offer.  “You said yourself you had nowhere else you knew of to go.”
“Are you okay with dogs?”
“Yes, actually they are a must.  Plus you could help me out with Miracle.”
“I will pay you.”
“That’s okay, maybe you could just help me with the house some?”  
“I can do that.  Thank you so much.  I really appreciate this.”
“No problem Sweetheart. I’m going to go get us some boxes, while you start getting your stuff around.”  When Dean got outside he called Sam.
“Hey, you doing anything right now?”
“No, just hanging out till the shift starts.”
“I have a friend who needs some help packing up her apartment real fast.  Can you help?”
“Yeah, wait, her?  Who’s the her?  I thought Benny and Cas were your only friends?”
“Will you just stop talking and get over here?  I texted you the address.”
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You were shocked when Dean returned with not only boxes but one of the other firemen.
“Y/N, this is my little brother Sammy.”
“It’s Sam.”
“This is Y/N, Sammy said he could help us out for a bit.”
“Thank you so much.  I really appreciate it.”
“No problem.  Dean told me what happened.”
In just a few hours the three of you had everything loaded up in the three vehicles.  The apartment came furnished so everything but the bed stayed.
Getting to Dean’s place you get out and look at the house, it’s amazing.
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Heading inside Dean shows you around.  You are distracted by the wonderful details that surround it, and the great work Dean has done.  You can���t believe he rebuilt the entire staircase.  He is extremely talented. 
The two dogs are introduced and seem to get along really well.  You are kind of surprised, Dakota is usually more reserved around dogs she has never met before. 
“I think they are going to get along just fine.”  Dean tells you.
“Yeah, I guess us living together could work, I mean sleeping together.  NO, I just, you know what I mean, staying under the same roof, not in the same room.”  You aren’t sure your face could be any redder.
“Well, not sure I have a problem with the first two options either.”  
You were wrong, your face could get redder.
“I promise you won’t know I’m even here.  I’m looking for a new job, and I’ll look for a new place.  Hopefully I can find something by next week.”
“No rush, it’s fine Sweetheart.”
 The two guys help you unload the things in their vehicles before heading off to work. 
Wandering around the house you notice the living room and all the white paint stripes.  This must be the room Dean was saying he was having trouble finding the right color.  You didn’t have anything else to do so you go to work.
When Dean came home from work the next night, some amazing smell greeted him.  Y/N, must have grabbed takeout.  He’s hoping she got enough to share.  Looking around he finally found her on a ladder in the living room.  He walked in looking around.  He couldn’t believe it, the whole room was painted, and the color was perfect.
On top of the fireplace mantle he saw a few Christmas decorations out.  Some reindeer, a big snowman in the middle.  They weren't his so they must have come from your house.   It helped to make the room feel a bit homier than it had before.
Turning around you finally notice Dean.  “Oh hi,”
“Hey, I can’t believe you finished this room.  The color is perfect.”
“I’m used to being busy, but I’m currently unemployed, and school is on break for a month.  This is Pearl, it’s a layer of Egg shell over Egg crue.  It’s the only way to get this color.  It’s the least I could do for you rescuing Dakota and I.”
“Don’t worry about that.  I do appreciate you doing all this.”
“No problem, I like to keep busy.”  You get Dakota up to head to your apartment, you did tell him you would stay out of his way.  “Oh, there is chicken and mashed potatoes in the fridge if you want any.”
“It smells amazing, where did you pick it up from?”
“I cooked.”
Here we go again, Dean thought.  
“I saw the stove wasn’t hooked up, I hope you don’t mind I connected it.”
“Oh, no.  Thanks.”  That surprised Dean.  Y/N really was different than all the other girls he dated.  
As she walked out of the room he realized he didn’t want her to go,  “My shift was kinda slow, do you want to stay and eat with us?”
“We already ate, but thanks.  I’ll let you enjoy your downtime.”
“Oh okay.”
Walking back to the room you are talking with Dakota about why you left.  “He really doesn't want us to join him.  He was only being polite.”  Dakota gives a little growl.  “Don’t give me your attitude, missy.”
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The next morning Dean is up looking around for Y/N, before he has to head out.  He knows she’s up; he saw the coffee put all made for him.  Not seeing her anywhere he assumes she is in her room and doesn't want to bother her.
He’s caught by surprises when he walks out the front door and sees her hanging up Christmas lights on the porch.
“Hey, what are you doing?”
“Morning, oh.  I heard Christmas lights and decorations can add curb side value to a house.  If you are going to sell when you’re finished.  Having some lights out now, might get people to notice the house.  Do you mind?”
“Not at all, great idea.  Thank you.”
“No problem.  You know, I have all that stuff from my apartment if you want to decorate the inside too.”  
“I’m not much for decorations, but you can have at it.”
He walks down to his truck and asks without thinking.  “I have to give a presentation to a group of fascinating people, would you like to come with me?”
“Sure, do I need to go change?”
“No, I think I can get you in with jeans and a sweater.”
“Alright, let me grab my phone.”
Hurrying back outside Dean locks the door behind you, “Let’s go Sweetheart.”
Thank you for reading!
Chapter 3 
Tags- @winchest09  @waywardbeanie @whatareyousearchingfordean  @flamencodiva @atc74 @deanwanddamons @jensengirl83 @abuavnee @lunarmoon8 @amyzombie1013 @akshi8278 @that-one-gay-girl @mandalou29​  @igotmadskills​
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cxplqnce · 4 years ago
Text
Barry Allen - Back to December
Based on Back to December by Taylor Swift
This was requested by @im-still-tryin-to-find-it , hope you like it!
Word Count: 2,439
I'm so glad you made time to see me
How's life, tell me how's your family?
I haven't seen them in a while
You and Barry broke up a while ago. Eight months, two weeks and four days ago. The 20th of December - the day your heart was shattered.
You’d been kidnapped, again, and you had both had enough. He’d had enough of seeing you hurt every time a villain kidnapped you or used you to get to him and you’d had enough of being weak and powerless against these people. So you exploded at each other.
“I can’t do this anymore, Barry!” You yelled, cutting off his previous statement and stopping him from hugging you.
He looked taken aback by your outburst as tears welled up in your eyes, “Do what?” He croaked out, thinking about how this conversation would play out.
“I can’t keep getting hurt and kidnapped and used!” You explained, your voice loud and tense. You grabbed his hands, softening your tone, “I know, it’s not your fault that they keep coming after you… and it’s not your fault that you’re the Flash a-and it’s not your fault that all these horrible things keep happening to you... B-But it’s my fault that they keep happening to me, because… because I keep sticking around. And I can’t keep doing it… sticking around.” You explained.
“And I can’t keep letting you get hurt.” Barry agreed, “It’s my fault that I didn’t let you go sooner.”
“So… This, we’re… over.” You whispered, tears cascading down your cheeks.
Barry lifted his hand and wiped away your tears with his thumb before pulling you into a hug, “I guess we are.”
You've been good, busier than ever
We small talk, work and the weather
Your guard is up and I know why
You saw him a few times during the next few months, since you still lived in Central City, not being able to move away. The last time you saw him was a few weeks ago, outside of the CCPD. You’d gone there to deliver coffee to a friend of yours who was an officer and you’d accidently bumped into him. You talked about trivial things like the weather and then you both made excuses to leave.
“I am so sorry!” You said, as you leant down to pick up the files the person you had bumped into dropped. You looked up and saw, “Barry, hi.”
“Hi.” He said back. “How’ve you been?”
You smiled hoping he wouldn’t see through it, “Good,” You lied, handing him the file. “Weather’s been great, right? Nice and sunny.”
“Yeah, exactly…” He started, before there was a moment of awkward silence between the two of you, “Anyway, I’ve got to get these to Captain Singh.”
As he walked away that day, you couldn’t help but think about everything that happened. You’d heard about the latest big bad, Zoom, and how much of an effect he’d had on Barry through Cisco. You had texted him about it but he hadn’t responded and you couldn’t blame him.
Because the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind
You gave me roses and I left them there to die
Barry hadn’t been doing well. He heard from Cisco – a few weeks after your break-up – that you had gotten sick. It was just a stomach bug but he couldn’t help himself. He sent you roses with a card that said, ‘Get Well Soon, I Miss You – B.’
You read the card but in sheer frustration you burned it in your fireplace and stamped on the roses. You regretted that decision after a few hours of thinking about it.
After you got better, Barry saw you on the street with a few of your friends after you’d gone out partying – a friend of yours had pulled you out to celebrate her promotion and he was on his way back to STAR Labs after defeating a meta. He felt like crap after that so he threw himself into something he could control – Zoom.
These days I haven't been sleeping
Staying up playing back myself leaving
When your birthday passed and I didn't call
After you destroyed the roses, you regretted it. You regretted all of it. All you could do for weeks was replay the moment you left and you hated yourself for it even though you knew it was for good reason. It was a selfless decision, to make life easier for both of you. He didn’t have to worry about you getting hurt and you didn’t have to feel weak and powerless anymore or worry about his safety. But you wanted to be selfish so you recorded a voicemail.
“Hey, Bare… I know I shouldn’t be calling and I shouldn’t be saying any of this… but, but I miss you. I do, I miss you! And I can’t stop myself from thinking… Maybe we made a mistake. Maybe we made the selfless decision for a reason but maybe we didn’t. Maybe we deserve to be selfish – after everything we’ve been through.
“Anyway, I’m sorry. I miss you and I love you.”
After you recorded it you were going to send it but you chickened out. However, you still saved it.
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side
And realized I'd loved you in the fall
You thought about when you first got together, before you figured out who the Reverse-Flash really was. He’d been freaking out about what to do and you tried to calm him down. And you thought about the summer after the Reverse-Flash, after Eddie and Ronnie died and he got justice for his parents. You had been there for him through all of it and he was so grateful. You made him happy even though he felt like his world was crashing down – you held it up.
“Barry! Hey, it’s okay.” You whispered, wrapping your arms around him as he tried to calm his breathing. “I’m here, I’ll always be here. I promise.”
“Thank you.” He whispered back, into your shoulder as he wrapped his arms around your waist. His breathing got slower and you just held each other for a few minutes or perfect silence before he pulled away from your grasp slightly. “Thank you, for everything. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
You smiled, “Well, you’ll never have to find out.” You said, brushing his hair out of his face with your fingers.
Suddenly, he brought his hands to your cheeks and pulled your lips to his. Sparks flew between you, it felt like a rom-com ending where the two leads finally realise they are in love and have the climactic ‘big kiss’.
It was October when you first said those three little words. You had just saved Stein and paired him with Jax to stabilize the FIRESTORM matrix. Hewitt had been dealt with and you had finally gotten a moment alone with your boyfriend.
“Hey, superhero.” You smiled, walking into the cortex where Barry stood looking at the monitors and his suit.
He smiled when he saw you and heard the little nickname you gave him, “Hey,” He replied, beckoning you over and pulling you into his side. You rested your head on his chest, feeling the safest you’d ever felt. It was this moment you knew.
“I love you.” You whispered, out of the blue. Barry pulled away from you and looked down at your smiling face, “I know that everything with Earth-2 and Wells and Jay is crazy. And I know you’re a superhero and the universe is nothing like what we thought it was. And I know that we are the furthest thing from a normal couple and I know that I don’t know what is going to happen next. And I know that I love you… So, so much.”
A smile had crept onto Barry’s face at your words, and he rested his hand on your shoulders, “I love you too. That’s all I know, and it’s everything that I need.”
And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye
Being kidnapped was scary but you’d kind of gotten used to it by this point. Mark Mardon, James Jesse and Snart had kidnapped you and brought you to their hideout. Thankfully, Barry had saved you and Central City but the fear of being kidnapped again started to get to you.
Yes, you had been kidnapped before but it was something about the three of them that freaked you out. That’s when you’d blown up even though you didn’t mean to and didn’t want to. Fear had gotten to you. So you said goodbye.
I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night
The first time you ever saw me cry
You missed him. Plain and simple. You regretted your decision and you missed him. You missed his smile, his personality, his optimism, his faith in people and his belief that they were good. He did right by you, he was good to you and he wasn’t perfect but he was definitely perfect for you.
Barry wasn’t the only one with problems. There were times when you’d break down and he’d be the one to hold you up. You didn’t always show your emotions – you were good at keeping them locked up but you felt comfortable around him to let him know.
You stood outside of his door at five in the morning, wrapped up in his coat that he’d left at your house. Thankfully, Barry was the one who opened the door only a few seconds after you rang the doorbell.
“Hey,” He said, concern on his tired face when he saw the tears on yours. You’d had a fight with your sister and even though it was early and he had work in the morning, he still invited you in. “Do you want a drink or something to eat?”
“No, I just want you.” You said. Barry smiled, sitting down on the couch and pulling you into his arms.
Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably mindless dreaming
But if we loved again I swear I'd love you right
I'd go back in time and change it but I can't
You missed him so you made the selfish decision to talk to him and try to get him back. It had been a difficult thing to do. You waited at Jitters for a few hours to try and catch him but as soon as he showed up you chickened out. You tried to catch him at work but chickened out a second time so you decided to go to his house.
Little did you know, but Barry was thinking the same thing. His dad had died three months prior and he realised how short life was and how much he need you in his. He missed everything about you; your positivity, your stubbornness and your smile. You weren’t perfect but you were perfect for him.
So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time
You walked up the steps to his house and knocked on the door. You waited for a few seconds before Barry opened it. “Y/N? What are you doing here?”
“Can we talk?” You asked. He nodded and let you in the house. You sat yourself on the couch and started. “I’m sorry. For everything, I just want to be selfish – I mean, I-I don’t know how to say it.” You said, trying to get the words out. You couldn’t figure out how to phrase what you wanted to say but you remembered the voicemail. “Wait a sec.” you got out your phone and found it, holding your it out to him. “Just listen to this.”
Barry took the phone from your hand and put it up against his ear.
“Hey, Bare… I know I shouldn’t be calling and I shouldn’t be saying any of this… but, but I miss you. I do, I miss you! And I can’t stop myself from thinking… Maybe we made a mistake. Maybe we made the selfless decision for a reason but maybe we didn’t. Maybe we deserve to be selfish – after everything we’ve been through.
“Anyway, I’m sorry. I miss you and I love you.”
Barry’s face contorted in confusion and realisation as he listened intently to your words, pulling the phone away from his ear when he heard the end beep. “You mean that, all of it.”
“Yeah,” You answered, a tear falling out of your eye. You stood up, feeling a surge of confidence, “And I want to be selfish with you. Life is short and precious and I want to make the most of it but I can’t do that without you… I have never regretted anything more than I regret what I did… So, I-I am swallowing my pride and standing here telling you that I am so sorry for that night. I didn’t know what I had until you weren’t mine anymore and if I could I would go back and change everything… and I’m sorry it’s taken me this long to realise that I love you.”
Barry leapt up from the couch and held your hands in his, “I am so glad you just said all that… I feel exactly the same way. I wish I could go back and change our minds, because I love you, Y/N. I love you so much and I can’t live without you either…  I was scared that I would lose you but I won’t be scared anymore because family makes us stronger and you are my family… I promise you, that I will do everything I can to protect you… And I will spend every day showing you how much you mean to me. I love you.”
“I love you too.” You smiled, “Now kiss me, you dork.” Barry smiled back at you, obliging to your demands. Your lips moved together in perfect sync as you held each other, promising never to let go again.
A/N: Also, follow my instagram @ cxplqnce and I take requests! :)
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reydjarinkenobi · 4 years ago
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Burn Scars - Codywan Fic
This is a prompt I got messaged by @drowning-inthe-feels for a codywan established relationship in the aftermath of Kadavo.
Here it is.
I am working my way through the prompts. Feel free to give me some.
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It had been hours and he still hadn't seen Obi-Wan.
The man had waved off all attempts to steer him towards the healers and when Cody had tried to push, Obi-Wan had raised his voice. He'd actually almost yelled. Obi-Wan never did that.
His lover had looked immediately regretful and had murmured a quick apology before scurrying away to complete some small job or another. He had been avoiding the Med Bay and the cargo hold, which was where the majority of the Trogrutans were staying, like the plague.
Cody himself had barely had a break since they'd gotten the colonists onto the Resolute. He'd taken half an hour to check on Rex, and make sure that Fives, Jesse and the rest of the ARC troopers wouldn't leave him alone with his thoughts. His vod needed company at the moment. And so did his Jedi.
He was completing yet another essential form that for some reason, protocol dictated needed to be filled out right then and there when he was approached by General Koon.
"I finally convinced Master Kenobi to go to his quarters," he told Cody in his rich, soothing voice. "You should take a break as well, Commander. You deserve it. And maybe check on your general. Make sure he's getting some sleep before you get your own."
Cody stared at the Jedi Master for a few seconds before he nodded eagerly.
"Thank you sir."
General Koon shook his head. "No, thank you Commander Cody, for being there for him and for earning his trust."
Cody inclined his head forward respectfully and hurried out of the room. He made sure that no one saw him sprinting towards Obi-Wan's door, dodging vod like they were clankers and this was a stealth mission. He didn't even pause to muse about the fact that they were on the Resolute so often that General Kenobi had a permanent room there. General Skywalker and Commander Tano had the same on the Negotiator.
He knocked on the door and it opened for him without a word.
He paused as soon as it closed behind him.
Obi-Wan was sitting slumped in the one of the two chairs at the small desk at the side of his room, staring blankly at the wall. He had obviously not cleaned himself up. He hadn't even gotten changed.
"Obi-Wan," he murmured and the Jedi jerked, immediately tensing before his gaze found Cody and relaxed minutely.
"Oh," the man breathed. "Hello Cody."
The skin beneath his eyes was so dark it was practically black, and Cody was sure that the bruises were only hidden because of the grime and soot that covered the rest of his body.
"You need to change, and shower."
Cody had never had to remind Obi-Wan of that before. The general usually took care to keep his outward image professional and confident, even during the few times when he was struggling internally.
Cody stepped forward, close enough to reach out and touch Obi-Wan's shoulder.
"Come on," he urged and Obi-Wan flinched away.
Cody took half a step back, batting away the flash of hurt that twisted his heart and focusing on the worry that pulled at his gut.
"Obi-Wan?"
The Jedi squeezed his eyes shut and visibly swallowed.
"It seems I am unable to remove my tunics," he admitted, his voice so quiet that Cody had to strain to hear it, even from this distance.
"Obi-"
"Don't ask me to go to Medical," Obi-Wan cut him off, his voice suddenly hoarse. "Just please, don't. I won't invade it with the Togruta in there. They deserve a safe space."
"I can help you then. I know you keep your first aid kit stocked."
Obi-Wan looked down, a sharp breath that sounded suspiciously like a sob huffing out of his nose.
"I don't want you to see my like this," he muttered, his voice thick.
"I can get General Skywalker if you want."
"That's worse. If Anakin sees what the slavers did to me… He's already struggling enough as it is."
From what Cody had gleaned of Skywalker's past, he had to agree. He didn't even bother suggesting Commander Tano. They couldn't shield her from much, but she didn't need to see this.
"What about General Koon?"
Obi-Wan shoulders began to shake lightly. Cody knelt down in front of him to put himself in Obi-Wan's peripherals.
"Hey," he murmured. "You can trust me, Obi. Whatever I see, I won't think of you any differently. What you went through was…" Hell. "… difficult. But you're still my general. The one who goes along with General Skywalker's crazy plans with a huff as if your plans aren't as brilliantly insane half the time. The one who can charm starving predators. The man I want to sleep beside for the rest of my life."
Obi-Wan slowly looked up at him as he spoke. His eyes were glassy from tears. He finally nodded and Cody stood, moving around his to his back so he could help ease the tunics off.
He froze when he saw the huge burns down Obi-Wan's back as well as the ones on his neck. Before his emotions could kick back in, Cody threw up the shields that Obi-Wan had got him to use. He knew that his Jedi hated the feeling of other people's anger or worry. That too much of those emotions could make his Jedi literally feel nauseous.
He drank in the horrifying sight before him as he slowly peeled the tunics off his lover, being careful not to stretch any skin.
The injuries were angry and red, and some were still bleeding. This whip marks blurred by the electric burns. Signature wounds of a shock whip. The neck was almost grotesque. The skin there was blistered and had been burnt right off at some points, exposing the tissue beneath as the it bled sluggishly, blood catching on the remnants of skin layer that were still clinging on.
"I'm going to get you clean. Then I'll get some bacta on those wounds, and then we're going to sleep. I checked with Wolffe, and both our schedules have been cleared for the next twenty hours."
It was practically a vacation.
Obi-Wan nodded and then glanced back at Cody, wincing as the movement aggravated the wound on his neck.
"You don't have to talk if you don't want to," Obi-Wan assured him, voice still eerily quiet. He wasn't a loud man by any means, but Cody had never heard the heavy resignation nor the fragility in that crisp Coruscanti accent he loved so much. He hated it.
And wasn't that just exactly like Obi-Wan. Being so hurt and still so considerate?
"It's alright, cyare," Cody murmured. "I don't mind talking to you when we're alone."
Obi-Wan's lips twitched up slightly at that before he looked back around, his shoulders once again slumping as Cody carefully helped him to his feet and led him to the fresher, allowing the man to lean on him as much as possible.
Cody had never been more thankful that the Resolute was one of the few ships in the Republic fleet with actual water showers. It was probably a boon from the Chancellor. From what he heard from Fox, the man was quite close with Rex's general. Though, Cody didn't know how General Skywalker could stand the man who seemed to be making all the dumbest decisions in this war.
He leaned Obi-Wan against the tiling, out of the spray of the water as he gently waited for it to get up to a moderate heat. He knew his general usually preferred his showers almost scorching hot, but didn't want to risk aggravating any wounds.
He washed down Obi-Wan's front, using a towel to wipe away at his face and other sensitive areas before he turned him around. He held in a wince. This was going to be the hard part.
He dampened another towel under the warm spray, using it to gently clean the space in between the wounds.
Obi-Wan trembled faintly as Cody worked, leaning heavily against the tiles and pressing the side of his head against them. If it wasn't for the small hisses that escaped past his teeth ever once in a while, Cody would think that he'd fallen asleep.
Once he was finished, he steered Obi-Wan back out of the room, sitting him down on one of his chairs so that his chest was pushed up against its back and his wounds were easily accessible.
Cody grimaced as he got out the disinfectant.
He would prefer to give Obi-Wan some heavy pain killers for this part but Cody knew that Obi-Wan hated how they interfered with his connection to the Force and he knew that neither of them had the energy for an argument like that at the moment.
"This is going to hurt," he murmured as a warning before he began cleaning the wounds.
Obi-Wan let out a stifled yell when the disinfectant soaked cloth touched his back, arching away from Cody.
Cody placed a hand on his shoulder, rubbing gentle circles into one of the few patches of unmarked skin.
He made quiet hushing noises as worked, trying to find a balance between moving quickly and also doing it right. He very intentionally focused on the task at hand, not allowing his thoughts to stray. If he didn't, he knew he wouldn't be able to stop his thoughts of what he would like to do to those slavers slipping through. Obi-Wan didn't need that at the moment. He'd already dealt with too much horror.
After what felt like an eternity, Cody finally had the wounds cleaned. He'd needed to physically hold Obi-Wan down when he got his neck. The Jedi had bucked and yelped but Cody hadn’t stopped, knowing it needed to be done.
Now, Cody could finally get the bacta on the wounds. He placed a kiss on the top of Obi-Wan's shoulders after he sealed each light blue soaked bandage onto his back.
The man was mostly silent as Cody put the bandages on, though a few whimpers slipped out and Cody had to swallow back a thickness in his throat every time the high, broken sound reached his ears.
"All done," he announced, resting his hand at the nape of Obi-Wan's and smoothing his thumb over the edge of the bacta patch resting there. "Time for bed."
Obi-Wan didn't even attempt to argue a Cody pulled him up. He leaned heavily on Cody, his blue grey eyes still unnervingly blank, something fragile beneath them like they might crack if you pressed too hard.
"What do you want?" Cody asked as they both sat on Obi-Wan's bunk.
The man visibly swallowed, blinking a few times before his gaze focused on Cody.
"Just stay… Hold me," Obi-Wan whispered, a tear slipping down his face. "Please."
So, Cody gently pushed him down onto the bed, gathering his lover in his arms so that Obi-Wan's face was pressed into his neck and Cody's chin was resting on the other's head.
"They died because of me," Obi-Wan's voice hadn't gained any volume but Cody could hear him perfectly. "Because I was stupid enough to think I could help them."
Cody knew that nothing he said could make the general feel better. That no amount of logic or explanations could rid him of the guilt. So, he just pulled him closer, offering silent support.
"They died and I couldn't do anything. All I did was make things worse."
He held him as silent sobs began to shake Obi-Wan's frame, causing him to shudder in his hold. He ran gentle fingers through his hair and down the few spaces of exposed skin on his back until the shaking eventually stopped and they both fell asleep.
The smutty sequel chapter is on ao3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25033900/chapters/60625729#workskin
It’s my first time writing smut, so it might be a little off.
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holylulusworld · 5 years ago
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The right guy
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Summary: Dean is more than a rebound guy to you and his brother doesn’t like it a bit.
Pairing: AU!Dean x Reader, former AU!Sam x Reader, Sam x Jess (mentioned)
Warnings: angst, language, arguments, jealous Sam, OOC Sam
A/N: Sequel to Rebound Guy
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 Six months later…
Jessica Moore, daughter of Mr. Marcus Moore and Karen Moore,
 and Sam Campbell, son of Mrs. Mary Cambell,
 request the honor of your presence
 at their wedding
 on the twenty-eighth of May, two thousand twenty
 at two o'clock in the afternoon
 Regency Hallway Ballroom
 Lebanon, Kansas
 Dinner & dancing to follow
 Black tie & robe required
Dean has to reread the invitation he got to his brothers wedding thrice to be sure Sam didn’t even name his father. While he sulks silently, ready to rip the invitation into tiny pieces you snuggle closer to him.
“What killed your mood, Baby?” Leaning your head against Dean’s shoulder you glance at the envelope in his hands. You recognize the handwriting – it’s Sam’s. “Sam…huh?”
“He didn’t call or talk to me for over two months again and now he sends me an invitation to his freaking wedding. See, he didn’t even name our father.” Dean sniffles, as you crawl onto his lap to cup his face. “I know dad and Sammy, they had bad blood but this…this is…”
“Sam should be ashamed, Dean. This has nothing to do with arguments or living the life you want. Naming only his mother is…”
Nodding Dean tosses the invitation onto the table to place his hands at small of your back. “Your father found his mother's murderer if anything this is worth to be named.”
“I know…” Dean sighs deeply, not understand how Sam could be that cold-hearted to not name John.
He knows that his father was far from being good at parenting but Sam became the man he is thanks to his father. “We should do something else than attending a wedding we are not wanted at…”
“Dean, he sent you an invitation…” You try to find a way to survive Sam’s wedding and to not let Dean down. “I…I hate to attend this wedding too, Dean. Sam, he made me feel like I am not good enough.”
“You’re not the one who fucked up, Y/N. It was Sam’s fault and I must admit.” Pecking your lips Dean grins up at you. “I love he lost you ‘cause it’s my win…”
“Can I be honest, Dean?” Humming Dean runs his hands up and down your back. “I loved Sam, but he gave me the feeling I have to fake things sometimes.”
“Orgasms?” Now you snicker. Dean has the talent to distract you from intrusive thoughts. “I dare you to fake anything with me, Sweetheart.”
“Nah. This wasn’t about sex. In the beginning, it was a wild ride, ya know. Unlike you, Sam lost interested one day. I thought that like other pairs…” 
You know you sound like a fool and stop to find excuses. “I think I knew the moment Sam stopped kissing my neck in the morning or to drag me into the shower to have a quickie that he had someone else on his mind. I was just too chicken to confront him…”
“I’d like to drag you into the shower right fucking now, Sweetheart.” Licking your lips, you wrap your arms around Dean’s neck. “You’re a red-blooded woman and I love it. When you bend over my car, I want nothing more than to marry you or fuck you right there and then…”
“Difficult decision, Mr. Winchester. How about we stay with fucking me over the hood and keep the marrying me part for later…” Dean nods eagerly, already sliding his hands down your ass to grope it roughly when the doorbell rings.
“Son of a bitch! Can a man not have dirty sex on his car with his girl on a Sunday morning?”
Reluctantly shoving you off his lap Dean gets up, but not without having a good look at your ass in one of his boxers. “Love you are wearing one of my shirts, Sweetheart.”
While you give Dean a wink, already walking toward the kitchen when he opens the door, your boyfriend freezes. Someone he didn’t want to see after getting the invitation leans against his doorframe.
“Did you get my invitation?” Sam looks over Dean’s shoulder to get a glimpse of you only in your panties and one of Dean’s shirts. An unreadable look on his face Sam watches you place a tray onto the table. 
If Sam would be honest, he would admit that deep down inside he had hoped that you and Dean broke up. That his elder brother was only a rebound guy to you but here you are, beautiful as ever, maybe even more beautiful while you are wearing the wrong man’s shirt.
“I got it like three days ago.” Not giving away he’s disappointed, hurt even, Dean crosses his arms over his chest. 
“Won’t you let me in?” Sam’s eyes are still glued to you when Dean clears his throat and you look at him, recognizing Sam lusting over you. “Dean?”
“I have to discuss this with my girlfriend before I let you in. We invite people…together.” The door closes and you can’t stop the snorts leaving your lips.
“So…we invite people together now, Babe?” Dean shrugs, glancing at your exposed legs, suddenly too aware of what his brother was staring at the whole time.
“How about I change into something less revealing and you can talk to your brother. I’ll stay in the bedroom…”
“My girlfriend will not hide in a room to avoid my brother. If you want me to attend his wedding and let him in, you’ll stay by my side. Sam can’t come here and ruin our Sunday morning rituals only as he wants me to attend his shitty wedding.” A smile on your lips your cup Dean’s face to kiss him softly. 
“I’ll change and we can have breakfast. Thanks to you, I don’t want to kill your brother any longer…” Pecking Dean’s lips again you smirk.
“Why?” While you walk toward your shared bedroom, sway in your hips you turn around to give Dean a wink. “Y/N?”
“I’ll tell you later, Dean. Now let your brother in as the ‘bend me over your car’ part ain’t off the table.” Dean nods eagerly, a dirty grin on his lips. “Love you, Babe.”
“Love you too, Sweetheart.” A love confession leaving his lips easily is something Dean never imagined before but here he is, head over heels for you, his brother’s ex-girlfriend…
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“Rules.” Dean glances at the bedroom door, waits for you to come out while he makes sure Sam will behave. “No staring at my girl, no mentioning of your past or pulling shit like last time.”
“Okay…fine…” Sam licks his lips, hearing the door open.
“I mean it, Samuel.” Lump in his throat Sam looks at his brother. Dean never called him Samuel before, not a single time. Not when he found him after he left. Not at John’s burial.
“Y/N and I met without knowing you were her ex. Cut the crap and live with the fact that your ex-girlfriend, the one you dropped for Jess, is my best girl now.”
Dean’s eyes follow Sam’s when you step out of the bedroom. Both men look you all over, drink your outfit in while you only have eyes for Dean. Wearing shorts, a crop top, and no shoes you walk toward Sam, offering your hand with a faked smile.
“Samuel. What brings you into our simple home?” Your smile turns cold. You saw the look on Sam’s face. Dean is a simple guy, doesn’t need fancy furniture, just like you.
All you needed to feel comfortable in his apartment was a few fluffy pillows, a new mattress, and decorative crap – as Dean calls the fairies on the bookshelf or the colorful vase you placed onto the kitchen counter.
“Y/N…” Sam chokes out watching you sit next to his brother, not him. Dean’s hand places yours onto his thigh and you smile at the gentle gesture. 
“I…I wanted to say I am sorry for the way I ended our relationship and my reaction the last time we met here.”
“What’s past is past, Samuel. If I am completely honest, our relationship never fulfilled me.” You can see Sam’s face fall when you lean your head against Dean’s shoulder. “I have to thank you for treating me like trash.”
Sam looks at you, surprised by your words. “Thank me? I don’t think I understand…”
“Well, without you acting like an idiot I would’ve never met my soulmate, the man loving me the way I am, Sam. Without you, I would’ve never gone to a bar to get drunk and forget I wasted years on a man not loving me enough to support my dreams.” 
Your words are like daggers to Sam’s heart, but he must admit – he brought it upon himself. 
“So…thank you, Sam.” Your smile is genuine now and it makes Sam realize, you mean what you said. Dean is the man holding your hand, and he’s the person getting to see you smile. “I hope you are as happy as I am about your decision to end us.”
“Yeah…uh—ahem. I am happy, very happy.” Sam is not very convincing but you let it slip as you don’t want to cause trouble between Dean and his brother.
“That’s the reason I am here, to be honest. We need confirmation that you will attend our wedding.”
Hopefully, almost desperate Sam looks at his elder brother, the last family he’s got left. “I don’t know if you want a Winchester at your wedding.” Dean tries to control his anger and disappointment, tries to ignore Sam did not name his father. 
“You’re mad about the names on the invitation…I get it.” While Dean squeezes your hand, you try to encourage him to let his frustration out.
“Wouldn’t you be mad if your brother, the only family you have left not only changed his surname but also pretended for years to have no family. Then he sends you an invitation to his wedding and doesn’t even name his father…” 
You tried to keep your mouth shut but you saw the hurting in Dean’s eyes and just can’t stop your tongue from slipping. “That was low, Samuel. Even if you and your father didn’t get along well, you could’ve named him. He wasn’t a monster, only a man on a mission…”
“A possessive bastard.” Sam retorts and Dean gives him a warning glare. “He wasn’t a father, rather a drill sergeant.”
“Yes, he was. John Winchester was a possessive bastard, determined to find his wife’s murderer. And yes, he wanted us to become cops, but this isn’t a reason to change your surname. You did it as mom’s family was wealthy and dad was just…”
“Simple…” You whisper. 
“He was a simple man, found happiness in simple things like watching his son become a lawyer.
You know, he was there and watched you from afar as he knew, just like me, that he wasn’t allowed to be a part of your life. When he called you, it was out of desperation to see his son one last time before cancer killed him.” 
Huffing Dean looks at the invitation, and his hands shake when he opens the card. “Not even now you can give him a tiny bit of respect, Sammy. All dad wanted was for you to forgive him. If you would’ve come here only once, you…”
“He was stubborn. Dad would’ve never forgiven me for not following his lead. He wanted me to become a cop.” Sam talks back and Dean, well Dean drops the invitation.
“John Winchester was a stubborn man, a proud one but, he would have apologized to you for the pressure he put on you. With his last breath, he said two things.” Dean is close to tears and you need to squeeze his thigh to help him bring the words out he told you months ago.
“Dad, he said that he loves me and that he’s proud calling me his son and then he said I shall tell you that he’s sorry. That he wishes he could’ve said goodbye. His last word was Sammy and then he was gone…”
“He did…” Choking on his words Sam tries to read his brother's expression but over the years, he lost his brother, just like his father. Now a foreign man sits in front of him with watery eyes and Sam can only blame himself.
“I shouldn’t come to your wedding, Sammy. I know you did it out of…I got no clue why you did it but…” Dean gives his brother a sad smile when he places the invitation into his hands. 
“You will be happier if you keep on pretending, I never existed, just like dad. There will be so many people you are genuinely interested in, you won’t need me – the brother you didn’t want any longer, at your wedding.”
“Dean, please don’t say things like that. I left because of dad…not you.” Sam tries one last time, but Dean laughs bitterly.
“Odd. Last time I checked you didn’t contact me since dad died and even before, you did not waste a single thought at me. Go ahead, live your life and keep me out of your family, as I am a Winchester and you aren’t…according to your invitation.” Storming out of the room Dean slam the door shut behind him.
“That wasn’t the best result…” Sam sighs deeply, still holding the invitation in his hands. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.” 
“Dean…is he more than a rebound guy to you? Do you love him?” Surprised you look at Sam, meet his hazel eyes for the first time since he entered your home. “Y/N?”
“Yes. Dean is so much more than a rebound guy, Sam.” Smiling you look at Dean who reenters the room. “Dean is the right guy. The one I was looking for…”
“The right guy…” Dean mumbles.
“I know that I can’t force you to come to my wedding, Dean but please rethink your decision. There’s still time and I don’t need an answer today.” 
Placing the invitation and a card with his phone number onto the table Sam looks hopefully at his brother. 
“I know that I messed up big time, Dean but the invitation wasn’t my idea. Jess ordered them, just like everything else and I just saw dad wasn’t on it... She believed it’s the right thing to do to avoid questions…”
“I can’t promise anything, but I’ll think about it, Sammy. Let me think about it and I’ll call you next weekend. If you can wait that long.” Sam nods, even get up to hug Dean tightly. 
“I hope you will come. I need you at my wedding, brother.” Sniffling you look at Dean who doesn’t know how to act around his brother. “Please…”
“I will call you, promised…”
Part 3
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chipper9906 · 4 years ago
Text
Hello, Stranger
WARNING: SPOILERS FOR SEASON 15 EPISODE 18 ‘DESPAIR’ AND SEASON 15 EPISODE 19 ‘INHERIT THE EARTH’
Pairings: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Rating: General Audiences
Word Count: 6,201
Status: One Shot - Complete
Summary/Preview
The man above him was panting heavily, wheezing for breath through pained grunts, and usually, Dean would find some comfort in knowing he at least got a few good licks in.
Instead, all he could do was drop his head back into the carpet with gritted teeth. Great. He was Dean Winchester; He had taken on monsters that most believed to be fairy tales, he had taken on Lucifer, he had taken on God. Hell, he had even killed Hitler.
And now he was about to be killed by some goddamn junkie that had broken into his apartment.
Fan-friggen-tastic.
* * *
A post episode/ post season fix it fic because my heart hurts and I needed some happiness.
Link To Fic
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Click Below To Keep Reading
                                                            * * *
Dean Winchester is a homeowner.
Well, he signed a contract that lets him rent a shitty, musty, one-bedroom apartment that has questionable stains on the carpet and the lingering smell of weed soaked into the walls, but it’s his. It’s also situated between a few bars and a pizza place that serves the best damn meat lover’s pizza he’s ever tasted in his life, so y’know. Silver linings.
The off-yellow, fluorescent light of the fridge hums obnoxiously at him, lighting the two last bottles of beer he has sat snugly in the corner. Dean pulls one out, grumbling to himself as he pats at the chipped kitchen counter for the bottle opener. He flips the cap off with a flick he has done many times, chucking the cap somewhere to the side (he swears he’ll throw them away later) and flopping down onto his couch with a groan.
His phone shrills at him from within his jean’s pocket and Dean throws his head back with an exasperated sigh. This was what he signed up for, after all. He just didn’t know how Bobby did it. The whole ‘normal job whilst also acting as an information source for the hunter network’ crap. If it were up to him, he’d just do the ‘hunter network’ stuff. You know, what actually matters. But he’s too old to be living out of motels which were paid for with fake credit cards and cash from hustling, so he has to do it the legal way. That’s not to say the apartment is a huge step up from the usual dumps he and Sammy used to stay in when on the road, but still. It’s his place.
Relief floods through him when he finally yanks the phone out of his pocket and sees Sam’s name plastered across the screen. Looks like he was free from hunter duties for a while yet.
“Heya Sammy,” Dean greets him the second he has the phone to his ear, his smile practically audible through the phone. “Is this an ‘another apocalypse’ phone call or…?”
“No, you jerk,” Sam chuckles down the phone. “It’s a regular phone call. You know, that thing normal people do when they check up on family?”
Dean nearly snorted into his beer. “Yeah, well, we’re far from normal, Sammy.”
“Funnily enough, I’m aware of that. But this is as close to ‘normal’ as we’re going to get. It’s the best we’re going to get.”
Dean hummed thoughtfully, swallowing down a mouthful of beer. “Yeah? Tell that to the dumbass newbie at work who decided he didn’t need to put the oil cap back on after changing the oil… oil everywhere Sammy. Everywhere. I can hack off vampire heads all day, but dealing with people? It’s a nightmare, Sam.”
“You’ll get used to it,” Sam assured him. “We’ll get used to it. It’s… Dean, you know how nice it is to hear you complain about work? Hearing ‘my co-workers a pain in the ass’ instead of ‘there’s a Were on my tail, bring the silver’ is something I never thought I’d get to experience.”
“Were on my tail? Wow, great pun there Sam…” Dean mumbled into the phone, getting a half-amused half annoyed snort from his brother. “Maybe one day I’ll go full ‘Bobby’. Get a cabin out in the middle of nowhere, open up my own mechanic shop… though, doubt I could go back to the old way of looking up the lore… Hey, they do satellite internet, right?”
Sam had suddenly gone very quiet. Dean raised his eyebrows as he waited for his brother's response, the white-noise from the other end of the line the only reassurance to Dean that the line hadn’t gone dead.
“Uh… yeah. Yeah, I think that’s something you could get set up.” Sam finally answered. “But… you know you can do all that without the whole ‘hunting network’ thing, right? That is still an option-,”
“I know, Sam,” Dean cut off his little brother abruptly. “I know that’s an option. And maybe one day I’ll realize just how old and broken down I am and accept that. But-,”
“But you won’t,” Sam sighed subtly.
“Maybe one day,” Dean repeated softly. “I just… I don’t think I’ll ever be able to quit cold turkey, Sam. I just… I need to do something.”
“Have you been on any hunts?”
Dean shrugged his shoulders, forgetting that Sam couldn’t see him. “Eh, a few. No solo hunts, before you panic. There was a hunter going through town, uh, Jason White? Hadn’t heard of him before, but-,” Dean huffed quietly in laughter. “-He sure as hell heard of me. Seems the Winchester name still has its rep around the hunter community.”
“I can never tell if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.”
“Dude was giddy to work with me, so I’d say it was a good thing.” Dean took another swig of beer. “And that’s when they don’t even know we kicked God’s ass!”
“Jack kicked God’s ass,” Sam corrected him. “We got our asses kicked by God.”
“Yeah, but… we needed to get Chuck to beat us up for the plan to work, so… I think it’s fair to say we brought down God.”
“Depending on who you tell that to, you might end up being flayed rather than hailed as a hero.”
Dean paused with the bottle of beer to his lips. “Point taken… maybe it would be better to keep it to ourselves.”
“Probably,” Sam agreed with a chuckle.
“How ‘bout you, Sammy? How’s college life treating you? Again?”
“It’s…” Sam was about to do the usual ‘everything’s great’ spiel, but something about Dean’s inquiring tone made him pause. “… it’s more difficult than I’d thought. I don’t know, maybe I should have had some kind of buffering time between, try and adjust a little before going back.”
“I can imagine.”
“Back then, I felt like I belonged in college, you know? I felt… on par with everyone around me, but now? I stick out like a sore thumb.”
“Yeah? Well, you are an old man amongst eighteen to twenty-year old’s.”
“Thirty-seven isn’t old, jerk. Plenty of people go back to college when they’re…”
“…older?” Dean finished his sentence with glee.
“Shut up.”
Dean laughed smugly at his brother’s annoyed grumbles, though he quickly pulled himself back together. “Seriously though Sammy, I… I hope you know I’m proud of you for this. I know it’s not exactly what we – what I imagined, but… I’m glad to see you living out the life you set out for yourself. I know I wasn’t supportive of you when you first left for college, and I know it’s gonna be tough for you. But if you can go up against God and win, I’m sure you can pass your bar exam.”
“Thanks, Dean.” Sam’s voice sounded a little choked. “How are you doing, anyway? I didn’t really ask.”
“Living the dream, Sammy. Living the dream.” Dean answered dryly, staring sombrely at the last dregs of beer in the bottle and wondering whether it’s worth grabbing the last bottle from the fridge. Future Dean will hate him if he does…
“Seriously, Dean.” If Sam’s voice was anything to go by, he had the puppy dog eyes on full effect right now. “How are you? You okay? I know it’s been hard since… since…”
Dean swallowed hard, letting his eyes flutter shut and his head lean back against the couch. “No, Sam. I’m pretty damn far from okay. And I’m not sure if I ever will be, but… I’ll learn to cope.”
“Dean, it’s… don’t be afraid to ask for help with this kind of stuff. I know it’s a bit unconventional when it comes to our lives, but-,”
“A bit unconventional?” Dean spluttered. “Sam, how the hell would I go about explaining any of this to a shrink, huh? ‘Hey, I had the literal Death trying to kill me, and one of the few people I love sacrificed himself to save me by telling me he loves me.’ Yeah, I’m sure that’ll go down a-,”
“What did you just say?” Sam interrupted in a quiet, shocked voice. “Dean, you… did Cas say-,”
“I’m not talking about that, Sammy.” Dean’s tone left no room for argument.
“Cas was my friend too you know, Dean,” Sam argued back, his voice understanding but digging too much for Dean’s liking. “I know you don’t like talking about this, but-,”
“No, Sam. I don’t like talking about it.” Dean snapped curtly.
“But-,”
“Cas was my Eileen, Sam.” Dean could hear Sam’s mouth snap close, the stunned silence on the other end of the phone too loud in Dean’s ear. “And I know you sure as hell don’t like talking about her. I had to… Fuck, do you have any idea, Sam? I never let myself think about it, about what Cas was to me. He could be a stubborn bastard and hard to read at times, and this whole damn time, he loved me and… he never told me. All this time he’d been holding that to himself and he just… I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t say anything. He was just gone, and I…”
“You loved him.”
It wasn’t a question. Dean squeezed his eyes shut at Sam’s words. “Yeah. Yeah, I did. And he never got to know. He never heard me say it.”
Dean ran a tense hand through his hair, pulling at the strands with a pained grimace. “I still see him sometimes, Sammy. I feel like I’m going crazy. I’ll see a flash of him in a crowd, see that stupid tax-accountant get up of his out of the corner of my eye, and… I keep telling myself he’s gone, that I need to move on.”
“You will, Dean. Sometimes, after… after Jess, I’d see her, too. Grief does strange things to the mind.”
“Yeah, I know, but… I can’t help but think about when I lost him in purgatory. When I kept seeing him, back then, and… all that time, he was trying to reach out to me.”
“This isn’t like then, Dean.” Sam’s response was like a punch to the chest. “Cas was in Purgatory. When he was trying to contact you, he was back on Earth, right? Cas is… he’s in the Empty. The only being with enough power to get him out was Jack, but-,”
“But Jack’s not gonna be hands-on,” Dean said miserably.
“Right…” Sam replied with a sigh. “I’m sorry, Dean. I wish it was Cas, you know I do, but… he’s gone.”
“I know. I know that, Sammy. I’m not denying he’s gone, I just… I miss him. Guess I always assumed we’d win this thing together, you know? ‘Paradise on Earth’ and all that.”
“I don’t even know what Cas would have done after all this,” Sam said with a mild tone of amusement. “After meeting Cas, it felt like we had to stop one apocalypse after the other.”
“Poor guy never really got to catch a break,” Dean agreed sadly. “Maybe I could have trained him up to be a proper hunter, just like he wanted. Or… maybe he would have flown home.”
“Home?”
“Yeah, y’know; Heaven. If the other winged dicks let him back in, that is.”
“Dean… I don’t think ‘Heaven’ is Cas’ home. At least, it hasn’t been for a while, anyway. If Cas was still here, well… whatever he decided to do next, I can’t imagine anything that didn’t involve being by your side, Dean.”
 * * *
The later into the night it got, the more tempted Dean was to break out the bottle of whisky he has hidden under his cupboard for ‘emergencies only’.
The only saving grace was that Dean had the day off tomorrow, so it’s not like he had to worry about work. Tonight was just going to be… one of those nights. Getting off the phone with Sammy always left him feeling bittersweet; happy to hear his brother’s voice, but the reminder that he was so far away only worsening the dull ache he felt in his chest that he could only fix by drinking until everything went black and numb.
‘THUMP’
Dean was upright from his bed in seconds, fingers curling around the comforting grip of his pistol under the pillow. The sound hadn’t come from his room, rather somewhere else in the apartment – the living room, perhaps? The kitchen? He slowly peeled off the covers, untangling them from his legs and stepping softly onto the dusty carpet, thankful it would mute his footsteps.
Dean cautiously approached his closed bedroom door, placing his ear up to the door and straining his hearing. Nothing. For a moment, he wondered if he had simply imagined the noise, his emotional and exhausted mind caught between sleep and lucidity, conjuring up a sound to distract him.
Maybe, if Dean were a normal person, he’d have waved it off and headed back to bed. Hunter's instincts are hard to shake off though, and not checking the apartment simply wasn’t an option. Sure, he had thrown up all the usual sigils in the apartment the second he had moved in (and likely ruined any chance of getting his deposit back), but you never know.
Dean clasps his free hand around the rounded doorknob, painstakingly turning it until he hears the ‘click’ of the lock, wincing at how loud the usually quiet sound felt in the silence of the room. Dean swings the door open slowly, peering out of the room and into the pitch-blackness of his apartment. He can barely make out the shadowed outline of his furniture, lit up only by the muted lights of passing traffic peeking in through the partly opened blinds.
Dean takes a single step out into the living room when a hand clasps around his shoulder.
He whirls around in an instant, knocking off the assailant’s arm and lifting his pistol to aim. The gun is wrenched out of his hands in an instant, the unexpectedly strong pull nearly sending him tumbling straight into his attacker. Dean hears his gun clatter to the floor, and he throws a punch out of instinct, feeling his knuckles connect with the strangers’ jaw. There’s a pained grunt from the man, definitely a man by his posture and deep, surprised groan of pain, and Dean jabs out his fist again before the man can counter. His fist lands squarely in the man's gut and Dean knows by the sound the man makes that he had just had the wind knocked out of him.
Dean’s next hit isn’t as successful, the man catching Dean’s fist mid-swing and twisting him away, pushing him forward until his chest hits the wall with a resounding ‘thud’. Dean grimaces at the pressure against his back and arm, kicking out a leg backward and feeling it connect with the guy’s knee. It buckles, the pressure on his back gone and Dean takes the advantage, spinning around and shoving the guy hard. He sees the blurry black figure go sprawling backward, slamming into the wall opposite with another pained grunt. Dean scrambles to the floor in search of his gun, blinking rapidly in an attempt to adjust to the darkness of the room. He just about catches a glint of metal, reaching for the gun before it’s gone again, kicked out of sight by his attacker. Dean growls in frustration, jumping to his feet as fast as his body will let him. It seems he isn’t as fast as he once was, the man grabbing him by the arm and slamming him back down to the ground before he can even blink.
His back hits the floor hard, the air leaving his lungs in one giant ‘whoosh’, dust erupting from the unkempt carpet under him. His attacker had clambered over him, the heavy pressure he felt on his wrists surely the man pinning him down, the weight on top of his legs surely that of the stranger. His head was spinning, vision blurry from the dark, and the hit to the back of his head when he landed. The man above him was panting heavily, wheezing for breath through pained grunts, and usually, Dean would find some comfort in knowing he at least got a few good licks in.
Instead, all he could do was drop his head back into the carpet with gritted teeth. Great. He was Dean Winchester; He had taken on monsters that most believed to be fairy tales, he had taken on Lucifer, he had taken on God. Hell, he had even killed Hitler.
And now he was about to be killed by some goddamn junkie that had broken into his apartment. Fan-friggen-tastic.
“Hello, Dean.”
His heart stops. Pauses, for just a moment. When it kicks back into gear, it's with a hard, resounding thump. The voice was gruff, grated, that of a man who had either smoked ten packs of cigarettes a day or had had his vocal cords shredded apart. It was familiar, like coming home, and he wants to scream to the Universe how fucking cruel it is for him to be losing his mind like this, that it was bad enough to be seeing him, but to be hearing him too?
Unless…
He squirms underneath the man’s grip, his shallow, quick intakes of air a sure sign of an approaching panic attack. To Dean’s surprise, the man's grip slackened, and he let Dean scramble up to his feet. Dean stumbled back into the wall as the man smoothly got to his feet, stood there silently watching Dean panic as he slapped his hand against the wall, searching for the light switch. Dean’s hand passes over the smooth cool plastic of the panel, and he smacks down hard on the switch.
The light bursts to life, bathing the room in that sickening bright white. It’s blinding - as if lightning had struck inside his apartment. Dean still has his hand glued to the light switch; his gaze glued to the stranger stood opposite him.
Except, that was no stranger.
There’s a thin trail of blood slipping down a split lip that’s curved up into a subtle smile, blue eyes glossy with unshed tears that are scanning up and down Dean like he can’t quite believe he’s there. His chest is still heaving with exasperated breaths from their scuffle and he’s holding himself awkwardly, one leg taking more of his weight than the other – likely a result of Dean’s attempt at defending himself.
“Cas? Cas, is this… is that really you?” Dean’s voice is breathy, uncertainty laced in every word.
“I spent the whole drive over here thinking about what to say when I saw you,” Castiel said. “And now all I can think is how I should be scolding you for not checking to see if I’m a shifter or a demon first.”
Dean blinked owlishly at Cas, the shock mixed with the adrenaline sending his brain into overdrive. Cas’s shy smile widened briefly for a moment, barely wincing at the sting of his split lip being pulled.
“Actually, I… I was worried for a moment that I had been told the wrong address and had broken into someone else’s residence. But then you were pulling a gun on me and it seemed a bit too late to ask, so I-,”
Dean rushes forward before Cas can finish his sentence, throwing his arms around Cas’s shoulders and burying his head into his neck. He’s fully aware his hands are shaking, scrunching up the back of Castiel’s trench coat so tightly that he can feel some threads popping loose under his fingers. Castiel’s hands were wrapped around his back in return, squeezing Dean close with all his worth, eyes squeezed shut in content with his head nestled next to Dean’s.
When Dean pulls away, it’s to hold Cas at arm’s length and just… look. Take him all in. To savor the warmth of Cas’s under his hands, to drink in the smile he never thought he’d get to see again. Because there’s a part of him that still doesn’t know if this is real, and he wants to take the time to memorize the feel of Castiel in his arms.
“You, uh…” Dean says somewhat awkwardly. “You need a drink?”
 * * *
Dean’s been staring at Cas for way too long then is socially acceptable now.
He’s perched on what Dean knows from experience is an incredibly uncomfortable bar stool at the end of the kitchen counter, the beer Dean had offered him pressed against his split lip from their, um… reunion. Dean tapped his fingers against the cool glass of whisky he held, watching Cas as his eyes scanned curiously around the apartment, and Dean starts to feel guilty for not keeping on top of the cleaning as much as he should. In his defense, he wasn’t exactly expecting company.
“How… how are you here, Cas?”
“I had to hot-wire a car that had been left parked in a desolate road near a field in Illinois. In my defense, it seemed rather neglected, so I doubt it’ll be missed. It was quite difficult finding you actually, your number no longer worked and I had to visit many, many bars to find some hunters who had some knowledge on your whereabouts-,”
“Cas, that’s… that’s not what I’m talking about. I mean how are you here?”
Castiel pulled the bottle away from his lip, placing it down delicately on the countertop. The signature frown was back on his face, along with the cocked head that Dean found much too endearing. “Dean, have you not noticed?”
Dean followed Castiel’s hands to where he had placed a finger on his split lip, wincing when he pressed down a bit too hard.
“What? That I greeted my best friends return from the dead by giving him a beating? Yeah, I kinda noticed.”
Castiel sighed quietly, and Dean grinned at the exasperation. “Have you not noticed that it hasn't healed?”
Dean frowned at him in confusion. “Oh. Why haven’t you…?”
It finally clicked.
Dean sat up straight as it hit him; looking to the split lip, to the bruise that had already begun forming on the edge of Cas’s jaw, to the way he held out his leg at an odd angle like it was bothering him.
Almost as if…
“You’re human?”
“I believe so, yes. My grace was… warped. It’s been through a lot, through the fall… but… I believe it had been different from the very start. Chuck was right, in a way. I was ‘the angel with a crack in his chassis’. Maybe that’s why I was the only one. Out of all the other me’s that exist… I was the angel that began to feel. The angel to fall in love with the righteous man. Angels aren’t supposed to love, you see. Emotions are seen as distractions. Emotions were thought only possible to humans because of one thing.”
“Souls,” Dean answered for him.
Castiel nodded. “Dean, do you understand what the Empty is? What happens to us? It’s… it seems almost peaceful when you think about it. To spent eternity just… sleeping. But we don’t sleep. We dream. We dream of all that we regret. For most angels and demon’s, they have only one regret; their death. What they did wrong to meet their end, tortured endlessly by that mistake. I didn’t dream of my death though, Dean. My death was no mistake. Instead, I dreamt of you. I dreamt of all the times I let you down, of all the things I should have done or said but never did. Angels aren’t supposed to do that, Dean. Those aren’t the regrets soldiers of God are meant to have.
“The Empty isn’t a complicated being. It’s… it’s nothingness, and it wants to exist as nothingness. Billy made it promises she wouldn’t keep, keeping it awake when all it wanted to do was to return to sleep. So when it had dragged us into that place, when I fell into that sleep… perhaps it assumed it would be able to return to sleep. But my dreams, my regrets… they weren’t of the type that any another being in the Empty had. My grace wasn’t settling, it was… it was like an animal in a cage, it was…”
“It was keeping the Empty awake.”
“The Empty wanted me to suffer. But in doing so, it was suffering itself. It didn’t understand why; I didn’t understand why. Why my grace. What made it different? It wasn’t until I had been spat back out here; when the Empty had figured it out before me that I realized. It wasn’t my grace, Dean. It wasn’t grace at all, not anymore. I’m… I’m still not sure how it happened, whether it had been happening for a while, if it was the reason my grace had been diminishing over the years, or… if maybe Jack had a part to play in it, or… or if it was just myself. If me falling for you, to be the first angel to do that… maybe it’s something that could happen to all angels.”
Dean had never been more confused in his life. “What are you talking about, Cas?”
“My grace was changed, Dean. An angel’s grace, it’s a source of power, a piece of God himself; just like a soul. I’m not just an angel who has lost his grace, Dean. My grace is still here, just changed. Adapted. I’m human in every sense of the word.”
Dean knew what Cas was getting at, but he couldn’t quite believe it himself. “…You have a soul?”
“I have a soul,” Castiel confirmed, giving Dean a watery smile. “Humans were not meant to exist in the Empty. It’s not something the Empty has ever had to deal with - emotions. The Empty is a powerful being. It can tear into your mind, to know all that makes you suffer. But a soul? It doesn’t know how to approach that. It doesn’t know how to make it quiet.”
“So… so what does that mean now for you?”
“It means I’m here,” Castiel answered simply, his wandering gaze returning to their surroundings.
Dean smiled, glancing down to the whisky in his hand to avoid seeing Castiel’s judgment of his shitty apartment. “Yeah? And what do you think of… here?”
Castiel hummed thoughtfully, taking his sweet time to look around the abysmal contents of the room which Dean knows full well only takes about ten seconds to take in.
“It’s rather small,” Castiel finally gives his verdict. Dean ducks his head with embarrassed laughter, scratching awkwardly at the back of his head.
“Yeah, well… a high-school dropout who has barely any prior job experience and next to no references doesn’t exactly get many calls for interviews.”
“I see,” Castiel replied with an understanding yet sad smile. “Why did you and Sam leave the bunker?”
“Well, after Sammy decided he wanted to give college another shot, and after you and Jack, it was… the bunker was too empty. Too quiet. Too many memories, I guess. And it’s not like I was gonna be hunting like I used to without Sammy…”
“You’re not hunting?” Castiel asked, surprise clearly written across his features.
“Sometimes,” Dean replied with a shrug. “It’s… Sammy wanted another shot at the normal life, and after everything… that doesn’t even begin to cover what the kid deserves.”
“And what about you?” Castiel said with a questioning frown. “What about what you deserve?”
Dean laughed one humorless chuckle. “Cas, I always expected to go out in a blaze of glory. Maybe with Sammy by my side, maybe not, but-,” Dean paused, turning his eyes down. “I didn’t… I didn’t picture a scenario where I lived and you didn’t. I didn’t know what life was going to be like after that, after you… I didn’t think it was a pain I’d have to live with, you know?”
Cas’s calloused hand rests over Dean’s, thumb gently sweeping over his wrist. There’s a sadness and regret to Cas’s gaze, but a comforting smile curled onto his lips. “When I took that deal… a part of me never expected for it to be claimed. I thought the Empty had made some colossal mistake on its part, because… I couldn’t envision a scenario where I’d be happy. A scenario where we beat God and we made it out alive. But then I wondered… I wondered how much the Empty knew of me. It had tortured me with it once, with what I feared and… of who I loved. And Dean, it was almost funny when I realized, when I assumed the Empty had surely made that mistake. It knew what I wanted most, and yet, it was something I could never have.”
“What you wanted?”
Cas’s smile turned sad. “You, Dean Winchester. I wanted to know the touch of your lips, of the feel of your skin under my hands… I wanted to know what it would be like to wake up next to you, to be something that brought you some sense of happiness… I wanted to know what it was like to be seen as something more than family, a friend, a brother… I wanted what angels aren’t supposed to want. I wanted your love, Dean Winchester.”
“…Cas-”
“But there was a simplicity to it.” Cas continued before Dean could form the words he wanted to say. “I couldn’t get that happiness because… because I wouldn’t let myself feel it. It was easier to just push it down, to pretend as if this hadn’t been something eating at me ever since I had rebelled. And to just… to just say it. In letting myself feel it, in telling you, in telling myself… that was my own form of happiness. It wasn’t in knowing you felt the same way, it wasn’t that I needed you to say it back… I said it because I needed you to know.”
How did Cas do this? Every time he thought he knew what to say, Cas found a way to rip the words right of his mouth. Dean was thrown through a loop again, his brain brought to a standstill. None of it made sense in his mind. The thought that he was Cas’s happiness, that he had somehow made an angel of the lord love, it was just… why him?
“In a way, the Empty lost,” Cas told him. “It wanted me to suffer. It was cruel, yes, but genius on its part, I must admit. To only take me once I had found happiness on Earth, but… I didn’t suffer as it took me, Dean. To die, knowing you were safe? That I had kept you safe? My mission is and always will be to save Dean Winchester. If my ending was the one where you get to live the life you deserve? Then… that was my happiness.”
Dean huffed, staring down at his whisky, absentmindedly spinning the glass across the counter. “You had found your peace. I get that, Cas, I really do,” Dean stopped spinning the glass, eyes flickering up to meet Cas’s. “But if you think the life I deserve is one that didn’t have you in it, then…”
Dean chuckled dryly, taking a small sip of his drink, welcoming the burning sensation that crawled down his throat.
“Dean, don’t think I wouldn’t have wanted… this,” Castiel insisted, brows furrowing. “I would have been content to carry on the way we are. I would of course wanted to stay with you, and Sam, and Jack, just as we were.”
Dean licks his lips nervously, tasting the lingering leftovers of his whisky. “And what if I’m not content with that?”
Cas frowned at him, a brief look of panic flashing across his face. “I don’t get what you mean?”
Dean laughs. He can’t help it. They’re small hushed snorts of laughter, dropping his chin down into his chest and shaking his head, his shoulders shaking with every chuckle. “Oh, Cas… We’re both idiots, aren’t we? Biggest damn idiots there are.”
Castiel was only getting more and more confused.
“Cas, what the hell did you think that mixtape meant?” Dean asked once he lifted his head back up. “What did you think that prayer back in Purgatory meant, huh? Both times? When I prayed to you every damn night in that hellhole?”
“I… I assumed-,”
“Assumed… yeah, we both kept making assumptions about the other, huh? You know I’m not great with words, Cas. I’m… I speak better with my actions, you know? But this… you… I didn’t know how to handle the way I felt for you. Calling you my brother was easy because that was a love I knew how to process. It was easy. You knew I cared for you, and I thought that was enough.”
“It was enough,” Castiel assured him.
“No, it wasn’t, Cas,” Dean insisted. “I was too much of a coward to tell you the truth.”
“Dean, you don’t have to-,”
Dean grabbed Castiel by the lapels of his trench coat to shut him up, tugging him forward and damn near dragging him over the counter. Castiel had gone wide-eyed, bracing himself by grabbing onto Dean's arms, keeping him suspended over the counter.
“Listen to me,” Dean stresses the words, keeping his eyes locked with Cas. “You’re not just my best friend. You’re not just my brother. You’re all that and more. You’re not just what I want, you’re all that I need. And I’m telling you this now because I should have told you all those years ago. I should have told you when you told me. I love you, too. You got that? I love you.”
And then Dean kisses the shocked look right off of Cas’s face, just to drive the point home.
It’s far from the best kiss Dean’s ever had. The taste of Castiel’s blood is metallic and tangy under his lips, and he went into the kiss a bit too rushed and hard. There’s definitely a clash of teeth at first, and a kiss was apparently the last thing Cas was expecting as his lips remained frozen in disbelief for some good few seconds. And yet, it was perfect.
Because it was Cas.
It’s not until Dean’s hands frame Cas’s face that he gets a response. His lips move under Dean’s, chapped yet addictingly soft. Dean’s thumb brushes down Cas’s cheek, the burn of stubble against his skin something new, but a reminder that this was Cas. It was Cas’s lips on his. It was Cas’s hands brushing through the short strands of hair at the back of his neck.  It was Cas pressing his body into him, fitting together like two pieces of a puzzle that never thought the other piece would fit.
When they break away, it’s with a surprised “Oh,” from Cas that has Dean shaking quietly with repressed laughter, his forehead pressed against Cas with matching smiles on both men's faces.
“Like I said-,” Dean said softly. “-Idiots. Both of us.”
“I prefer the term ‘fools in love’,” Cas said with a grin. “Still idiots, but we have an excuse.”
“Yeah... yeah, I like the sound of that.” Dean agreed, returning Cas's gentle smile. “So, back on Earth, grace gone – or, changed into a soul. What’s the plan now?”
“Just... live life, I suppose. Experience humanity, of all there is to offer. Grow old...”
“Hmmm,’ Dean hummed in content. “Can you perhaps picture a little cozy cabin out in the woods? Maybe a yappy dog that won’t shut up and is constantly shedding all over the damn place, but you love anyway?”
“I think I could get on board with that... so long as there’s a cat running around that’ll provide the dog with some company,” Cas paused, squinting suspiciously at Dean. “Is there already a dog?”
“Apartment has a ‘no pets' rule. Miracle’s shacked up with Sammy for the time being, keeping the kid sane through exams.”
“...Miracle?”
“Yeah. Y'know, coz she was a miracle.” Dean swallowed nervously, struggling to get the next words out. “And... in this vision of the future... maybe you see yourself growing older with a grizzled, greying green-eyed hunter?”
“...Dean?”
“Yeah?”
“If you really have to ask that question, then I’m afraid I’m going to use to demote you back to ‘idiot'.”
“Wow,” Dean blanched. “Having a soul has made you a sassy dick.”
“You say that like you don’t love it.”
“I deal with it, but only because I love you. There’s a difference.”
Dean’s word elicited a beaming smile from Cas, that toothy smile he so rarely sees from Cas that he knows he’s going to be spending the rest of his life trying to see as often as possible. And really, what else can he do but smile back, just two idiots smiling at each other in a cramped, barely lit kitchen?
“I never thought I’d hear you say it…” Castiel admitted quietly.
“Well, be prepared to hear it until you get sick of it, coz I’ve got a lot of times I should have said it to make up for.”
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