#thank you gege for the meal truly
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staruie · 1 year ago
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three years of his youth
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sadistic-kiss · 4 months ago
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I want to tell you that I am so so appreciative of all the yummy meals you've been dishing out, for free! I wish to be able to join the Patreon VIP Diners' gang but alas it's not the right time.
Btw I love House of Alphas so much, literally the main reason why I started using AO3. It's so good.
I atill remember how I finished your Taken fic overnight due to how good it was! Ngl I was a bit iffy of the noncon part(as you've clearly warned) but I felt that I should try your other food as well while I wait for my next meal.
Sorry for going on a whole rant in your inbox but I just love love LOVE your works.
Now I'm going to start reading Desert Rose, thank you so much for all that you do!
Truly I never wanted to open up a Patreon. It was due to me losing my job and I was afraid to not be able to write and that’s why I did it. If I find myself a sugar daddy I’ll ditch Patreon I swear 😂
House of alpha is starting to become my biggest treasure and I don’t know what I’m going to do once it is finished lol.
Taken was so tough to write because I tried to align it with canon as much as possible and unfortunately sukuna is not a good guy… like… at all XD I know that’s my kissy boo boo kins but the cold hard truth is he’s a terrible person and villain. The only thing that saves him is his alpha and he listens to him just because he’s annoyed… nothing else q-q
My other stories are safe except bloody summer- that one I wrote with a friend but as for now it’s kind of discontinued.
Other than that you are safe with me as long as you remeber I’m angsty but I am not GeGe ^=^
No need to ever apologize! Please come by any time you want :3!
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daisynik7 · 1 year ago
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PLEASE BY ALL MEANS PROPOSE, I AM SO READY 👰🏻‍♀️ *ahem* i mean *cooly leans against the wall with a rose between my teef* hey cutie ;)
wait no, i can’t i’m a poser:( it’s pathetic. i’m kicking my feet, blushing so much rn, the dumbest giggles, this is crazy 🥲 thank you for YOUR kind words, having your support means the world to me and i hope you to be the same for you <3
but it truly is so beautiful, i’ve recently started to love seeing peoples different mediums of expression, whether it’s fanart, series/ film edits, and pics of course!!! i hope that this is something that continues to garner joy for you as a hobby, i surely love it, and i’m glad others love it. you articulate that creativity beautifully and i hope looking back at this page, you’re proud of what you made. 🥹 anime is relatively new for me too, and i feel like i’ve learnt more and appreciated the characters though fics than i do from watching the actual show @gege you are no longer the artist for jujutsu kaisen after what you’ve done, enjoy retirement bb 🥰 
and yes PLEASE let me talk about strawberry soju for a sec, first of all you said you based this off a song, i’m only finding results for one song by jesse barrera. A VIBE, we love that. second off, i just need to get it off my chest, i love foodie sasha! third, personally i know you for nanami wips n fics, but what you write for other characters, ART🤌🏼fourth, anything you write i will eat up. shamelessly. just know that :) also yes, kbbq was a special occasion meal for us so yes i get giddy over any reference of korean cuisine!
lastly, i’m so happy to hear that you were able to get out of the house and spend time with those core people, i’d like to take this moment to invite them to our wedding 🫶🏼
i’m not ready for the finale, i’m still not over the fact that they glazed over bertholdt’s death and reiner’s (lack of) reaction, like what? i’m also still considering do i need to continue jjk? probably not, i was just joking about actually being a masochist.🫣 
nonetheless; love you my sweet daisy, have a wonderful day/night! 🤍
don't worry, I'm already planning our wedding, honeymoon, and early retirement ;) we're going to be so happy together!! 😭♥️
I will be your biggest cheerleader, I promise you! I love seeing how people express themselves through art. I've always been an avid consumer of fan works (fanart, fan fiction, etc.). I agree that these fics have expanded on the characters much much more than what we're actually given LOL. As much as I appreciate the universe gege has created, these fics feed into my obsession even more and I'll always be grateful to every single writer/artist out there that is contributing to this fandom (and all fandoms in general).
hearing your thoughts on strawberry soju makes me so so happy!! thank you again for reading it ♥️ foodie Sasha is canon, I always imagine here with a hot potato in her pocket for snacking LOL. I have written a lot of Nanami content, but Eren also holds a special place in my heart.
also, we're going to have such bomb ass food at our wedding - filipino and korean cuisine, can it get any better than this?!
ahhhh okay I won't say anything to not spoil you, but I definitely have lots and lots of thoughts about it. can't wait to hear what you think. AND I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT THIS (regarding continuing jjk). Not sure why I'm putting myself through this pain and misery anymore! it's too much!! but the story and characters are so captivating, idk if I can really drop it completely. we shall see...
I LOVE YOU THEA!! hope you're having a great start to your week so far! 💗💗💗
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nyerus · 3 years ago
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Hi, nyerus....Can I ask something? Did Xie Lian's horrendous cooking have any connection with his mother's cooking? I remember when reading the novel (book 4) that the first time Xie Lian cooking for Feng Xin that it was at least edible...And at the end of book 4 it was first mentioned about his terrible cooking...Sorry if I was wrong in any way...Thanks so much...
Hi there!
And yes, I believe it certainly did. I think Xie Lian's cooking is terrible for two reasons, which are intertwined. The main one being: yes, he was trying to emulate his mother's cooking, either consciously or subconsciously -- and later on, it became sort of became a "hobby" of his.
Spoiler warning for book 3 & 4!
Xie Lian was actually a decent cook like you mentioned. So we know that he isn't cursed or something when it comes to cooking. In fact, he seems to actually have a knack for it, which I personally believe ends up being his downfall in a later on. In that, he gets too adventurous.
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(from chapter 187)
Right after his mother dies, after retrieving her (and his fathers') body, Xie Lian tries to scarf down the leftovers of the dinner she made. We can clearly see this as a gesture of regret and apology. That he felt like he didn't appreciate her or her cooking for him when she was alive. Now, he will never get to taste anything she makes for him again, nor will he ever be able to say sorry.
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(from chapter 191)
Xie Lian does not directly acknowledge it (much like he does not acknowledge most of his trauma), but he clearly internalized this. He copes with it by emulating her style of cooking: trying outlandish ingredients and such.
MXTX also mentioned -- either in an author's note or interview, I can't remember at the moment -- that Xie Lian was actually able to make things like pickled foods which tasted just fine. He used to give them to the Puqi villagers regularly as well, and they accepted such without fear and actually ate them lol! So it must've been alright enough.
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(from chapter 135)
With such foods, you can't really do much to mess it up. But the problem with Xie Lian is that he tries to experiment with foods so he adds wild thing into his dishes, thus ultimately turning them inedible. It doesn't help that he is poor, and has to make do with whatever he has on him. Over time, he got used to putting together whatever he had, which resulted in some truly terrifying creations!
Furthermore, Xie Lian really seems to enjoy cooking for others. It's probably the only thing he can do for someone else, to take care of them in some way. He doesn't have anything else. As an aside, I believe this is why Hua Cheng genuinely enjoys and looks forward to Xie Lian's cooking. It's the gesture. Xie Lian so desperately wants to share something like a meal with another person, to make something for them and care of them in that way. Like his mother did for him. Even if Hua Cheng doesn't know the details, he's smart enough to understand the significance. And of course, he'd just be happy that his gege would cook for him, plain and simple. That's a gift worth more than all the gold in the world.
In short, I believe that Xie Lian tried to honor his mother's memory by being adventurous in his cooking like she was. And because he wanted to do that, yet was poor and had to use whatever he could, he made a bad habit of creating inedible monstrosities.... He also has to fight with his own bad luck which certainly would not have helped matters at all. It would have only made matters worse (like causing his dishes to suddenly burn/catch on fire/etc).
(All screenshots from Suika's original fan translation.)
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sarahjtv · 3 years ago
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BNHA Chapter 318 Quick Spoiler Analysis: Lost and Found
Ok, I think I need a few days to process everything that’s happened during this chapter and I might make a longer analysis for this chapter later, but holy shit when I tell you I ascended, I ASCENDED!  That page of Deku thinking about his classmates with a genuinely big smile on Shoto’s face and the last pages of Bakugo straight-up watered my crops, cleared my skin, expended my lifespan, and sent my soul into the great unknown for a bit.  I screamed happy sounds last night.  With that in mind, some very quick thoughts today:
Hooray for overseas Pro Heroes coming over to help Japan!  This means that Deku and Co. will have more allies on their side and Deku doesn’t have to take care of everything.  I hope and pray he listens to Endeavor and get some freaking sleep.
I’ve heard people mention that Endeavor’s been treating Deku like an adopted son lately and I can see it.  It’s almost like he’s trying to become the good father he wasn’t with his own children.  Like he’s making it up with Deku this time as the son figure.  I kinda like it actually.  It’s good character growth for Endeavor.
The panel of the OFA Holders trying to get Deku to rest is a parallel to the chapter where we go into Shigaraki’s psyche and we see his family trying to grab him and stop him too.  Of course, both Deku and Shigaraki ignore the spirits and just move on with Shigaraki moving towards AFO and Deku moving onto the next villain to beat.  I really like it when Horikoshi parallels these two characters and their symbolism.  I actually just like it in general when it’s done right.
It’s clear that the OFA Holders feel like that maybe they pushed Deku too far with their words and motivations.  But, this is ultimately what Deku wants.  For better or worse, he chose the path of a hero and he’s bent on getting to the finish line.  Though it’s interesting that the 2nd Holder is the only one who thinks that Deku pushing himself so hard is the right thing to do.  I don’t think the 2nd Holder is being malicious in saying this.  I think there’s something to his character and backstory that molded his reasonings.  I mean, Deku really is the only one who can do this, but he does need help.  If Deku can get some help then he can finally rest and fight properly instead of exhausting himself to death.
God, it’s upsetting to see Deku actually being feared by people despite saving them.  Just the way Deku looks alone is scary enough.  The kid doesn’t remotely look like a hero anymore.  He’s not the hero who’s presence can put everyone at ease right now.  Deku’s strayed so far away from his original origins.  The main thing staying there is his want to save people.
And as all these burdens are on his shoulders, the most important thought in his head are his classmate’s smiles.  Everyone is smiling from Ochaco to Shoto who’s pure, rare smile will remain in my head rent free for the rest of eternity 💙.  Deku wants a world where there’s peace and smiles even if he has to suffer for that.  Throughout everything, he’s never forgotten about his friends and their happiness.  I really do love this kid, guys.
As Deku’s facing this other assassin, Dictator (who’s Quirk is similar to Shinso’s except the people he’s controlling are conscious), Deku looks so, so tired.  He’s thinking of ways to save all these controlled civilians while being attacked by them, but he’s just standing there exhaustingly.  There’s a small panel of his eye and it looks so tired.  I know I keep saying that, but he is.  There’s a small flicker of light in his eye too.  I looks to me like it’s going to go out at any moment really.  Deku needs to get a proper meal and sleep before he collapses in on himself.
AND NOW WE GET TO KATSUKI BAKUGO!!!  HOLY SHIT WE HAVEN’T SEEN THIS DUDE IN SINCE LATE LAST YEAR AND HE’S BACK AND HE’S SO BEAUTIFUL 😭💥🧡  The internet’s still going nuts about him I can tell.  He blasts Dictator with an AP Shot and Deku sees him with some life back in his eyes.  Bakugo then pulls out his phone and tells someone “Guys, I found him”!  Which means that Bakugo wasn’t the only one searching for Deku!!!  Please tell me who else joined him, Horikoshi!  I’m betting on Shoto, Ochaco, and maybe Iida, Momo, and Kirishima since they helped Deku rescue Bakugo back in Kamino (which is where Bakugo actually found Deku ironically enough; right in Ground Zero where the All Might statue is).  
Also, the 2nd Holder mentioned before “But if there is someone who could make Midoriya Izuku whole at the moment, that would be…” and then we go right into the big Bakugo panel!  BKDK’s rise 🧡💚!!!  But seriously, this is amazing.  These two really do complete each other not just as rivals, but as friends.  And it’s great how this goes to show how much Bakugo’s grown from the beginning.  This kid who wanted absolutely nothing to do with Deku at the beginning became one of the people actively looking for him and even found Deku first.  Bakugo’s character development truly is one of the best in the series.  
And this would be a great time for Bakugo and Deku to finally have that talk they’ve been needing to have for a long, long time now.  I almost hope that the other kids don’t reunite with Deku next chapter because I really want that talk if they didn’t have it back at Central Hospital.  A glimpse of the other kids would be good and I’d love to see Shoto again, but I NEED THAT ANGSTY TALK!  I wonder if we’re going to have a roll reversal here too: Bakugo lends out a helping hand towards Deku and asks him to rest, but Deku ignores Bakugo’s hand and turns away and leaves again instead.  That would absolutely kill me.  Just as much as the All Might angst we got last week.  If that happens then the turns really will have tabled.  I will cry again for a week straight.  I would still thank Horikoshi for his masterful storytelling though.  I would also cry if Deku does take Bakugo’s hand though.  God, there are so many feels to these two characters it’s wonderful.  I need Chapter 319 like yesterday.
But unfortunately, we won’t get that for a while.  Horikoshi is taking a break next week and so is the anime on July 3rd I think.  So, we’re going to have a dry spell for a week straight my MHA friends.  I’m honestly ok with this though.  For me, the new OP and ED and Horikoshi sketch will tide me over with their bangers (I hope) and Horikoshi needs as many breaks as he can get.  He’s been drawing and writing pure 🔥 this arc and I want him to get some much deserved rest.  Especially after Berserk’s Kentaro Miura’s passing and JJK’s Gege Akutami taking his month long break.  Hey, Jump?  Please give your mangaka better schedules.  I hate seeing them so exhausted.  Anyway, enjoy your break, King 👑!     
Me reading Horikoshi’s last few arcs:          
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lesyah · 4 years ago
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moshang childhood friends to lovers au - final
Hello! here is a fic that was posted to my twitter. it has songs to go along with it from my twitter. If you’d like to look at the songs for each part, or just check out my twitter (where I have threadfics and other twitter fics not posted here), feel free to do so!
final [age 22]
Out of all the things Shang Qinghua had gone through over the past three and a half years, this was somehow the worst. He wasn’t sure why this was the one thing that had him on the verge of a breakdown. It seemed somewhat inconsequential compared to the other moments throughout his college career. Other moments like when he was truly on the verge of dropping out, or when he felt so lonely he thought he’d snap in half. He was able to cope with those things. But for some reason, this was the straw that broke the camel’s back. 
He stared at the program in front of him, gaze faraway and his mind even farther away. All the sounds around him seemed to muffle. He had only picked up the itinerary to double check the time to tell his mom. He realized, in a split second, that Mobei Jun was also graduating. He knew this, in theory, but he never really thought about it.
A painful feeling bloomed in his chest. Mobei Jun was graduating. He was graduating university. He was graduating and Shang Qinghua wouldn’t be there. Shang Qinghua was graduating and Mobei Jun wasn’t going to be there. He blinked a few times, the realization settling in, grabbing his heart like a vice, and squeezing until his eyes pooled with tears.
This was the first milestone they wouldn’t be a part of for one another. They’d done all of the rest together. Mobei Jun had been there for all of it, and Shang Qinghua had been there for him in turn. He had expected this to go on for the rest of their lives. He didn’t necessarily think they’d share the same milestones (though he wished), but he at least thought he’d be there for them. 
He had always imagined Mobei Jun being on the other side of the room, a silent support, when he inevitably felt anxious about this huge change in his life. Now, he was going to have to walk across a stage, receive congratulations, hug his mom, hug Shen Yuan, smile in photos with his friends, and Mobei Jun wouldn’t be there. Even worse, Mobei Jun would walk across a stage, receive congratulations, stand with his father and uncle who wouldn’t hug him, and he’d hover with his friends, and Shang Qinghua wouldn’t be there for it. He wouldn’t get to hug him in lieu of his family. He wouldn’t be able to support him when he inevitably looked at the door, hoping his mother would walk in.
Shang Qinghua set his program down, pressed his face into his hands and wept. 
[“The person you are trying to reach is not available. Please leave a message.”
“Hi Mobei, it’s Qinghua. Um… You’re probably busy getting ready, so don’t mind this. It’s nothing important. It sucks we graduate on the same day, so I can’t go to yours. I wish that I could. Even though I can’t come, I just wanted to at least call you and let you know that I’m really proud of you. Don’t let your dad or your uncle bully you today, okay? I hope you have a good day. I, um…I miss you. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Hi! It’s Shang Qinghua. I can’t take your call right now, but please leave a message and I’d love to call you back!”]
“Have you thought any more about that job?” Shen Yuan asked, lightly pushing Luo Binghe’s hand away, where he was trying to dump more food into his bowl. “Binghe, stop. That’s yours.”
Shang Qinghua leaned back against the seat, letting his own food cool down as he thought of how to answer. It was just the three of them, thankfully, otherwise it would have been impossible to be honest. In fact, he was a little thankful that Luo Binghe was there. Luo Binghe would be kinder about it than Shen Yuan. “I don’t know,” he said honestly.
Shen Yuan looked up at him. “What do you mean you don’t know? It’s an amazing opportunity.”
“Yeah, and it’s also really far from home.”
Shen Yuan looked at him. Luo Binghe was also looking at him, but more in interest than criticism. 
“Isn’t it exactly what you want to do?” Luo Binghe asked, taking a small bite of his food. “It’d be worth it to move far away, right?”
Shen Yuan looked back at his food, eating a huge bite of noodles in frustration. “He doesn’t want to move because of Mobei Jun,” he said, annoyed.
Shang Qinghua didn’t meet either of their gazes.
Luo Binghe was the one to speak next. “But…Do you know if he’s coming back?”
Shang Qinghua’s chest twinged. “No, I don’t know. That’s why I don’t know if I’m taking the job yet.”
“You’re really gonna determine whether or not you take your dream job based on whether or not Mobei Jun moves back?” Shen Yuan snapped. “Can you honestly tell me that you’re not setting yourself up for failure? Why did you switch schools? Because you made the mistake of following him to his school in the first place.”
Shang Qinghua couldn’t help but wince. He looked down at his food and picked at it. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“I want you to prioritize yourself for once!”
Shang Qinghua didn’t respond. He took a bite.
Luo Binghe was quiet. “I don’t know, gege, I kind of understand what he means.”
Shen Yuan looked over at him. “What? You’re saying you would give up your future for me?”
“No,” he defended, also not meeting Shen Yuan’s gaze. “It’s not like that. It’s not that simple.”
“How do you think that makes me feel, Binghe? That I’d be stopping you from doing what you want?”
Luo Binghe sighed and put his chin in his hand. He swirled his chopsticks in the broth in front of him. “But you’re what I want. What’s the point in having a job that I like just to be miserable in every other way?”
Shen Yuan looked at him for a moment, a complicated expression on his face. He looked like he was not about to let that conversation go, but was going to save it for just their own ears. He looked back at Shang Qinghua. “Are you really miserable?”
Shang Qinghua took a bite of some rice. “What gave me away?”
Shen Yuan said nothing. He looked down at his own food and began to eat. The rest of their celebratory meal was eaten in silence.
His mother was being a little overbearing. She was trying to hold onto him now that he was finally slipping away. She hadn’t tried to hold onto him his entire life, but now that he was finally going, she was ready to try. A part of Shang Qinghua thought it was a pretense. That in order to make herself feel better, she should cry and hug and reminisce about how much she loved him and how much of a good child he’d been. It only felt suffocating. 
When she finally went to bed, Shang Qinghua went to his old room and looked at the boxes on his floor. He packed away a few more things he’d be taking with him when he fully moved out. He didn’t have a place yet, and he still didn’t even know where he was going, but it would be easier for both him and his mom to have his things packed up. That way it wouldn’t be a surprise when the time finally came.
Shang Qinghua sat on the floor in front of one of those boxes. It was full of haphazardly thrown in memorabilia, all without a category that could go into its rightful box. It was full of random things he’d kept through the years, random photos, random toys he didn’t want to part with. 
He pushed himself away from the box. It was a box full of Mobei Jun, and Shang Qinghua was more and more averse to thinking of him at all.
He left his home, only bringing a light jacket. The summer air was just warm enough to not need anything heavier. The street he walked down was quiet, but he could hear the sound of the electrical wires crackling overhead. It was soft enough to not be distracting, and loud enough to help drown out some of the loudness in his heart.
He arrived at the park in what felt like a few moments, for this was a worn path, and a known journey. At the end was a familiar sight, with an intimate familiarity with the way the shadows from the moon would bend around each park bench, around each dark lamppost. Even more familiar, even more known, was the figure lying in the small patch of grass at the end.
Shang Qinghua’s heart lurched as he neared. Mobei Jun did not move when he approached. His eyes were somewhat blank as they stared up at the sky. Shang Qinghua laid down beside him and pillowed his head on his arms. The moon was right overhead, and cascaded them in white light.
“You’re here,” Shang Qinghua murmured, voice warm and desolate all at the same time.
“I thought maybe you’d come,” Mobei Jun said back, a similar cadence. 
“How’d you know?”
“Because I wanted to come, too.”
Shang Qinghua smiled a little. He removed one arm from beneath his head and set his elbow on the grass between them. He kept his hand raised in the air and waited. Mobei Jun reached out and grabbed it. He lowered their hands to the cool grass, and the blades tickled along Shang Qinghua’s hand.
“What’s next for you?” Shang Qinghua asked. His eyes tracked the movements of the clouds—a practiced habit. Much of his life was habitual, and he was discovering that anything beyond those learned habits was immensely painful.
“Not sure,” he said honestly. “I’m open to anything, to going anywhere. I just…want to want it. Whatever it is.”
Shang Qinghua nodded. He understood that. “Yeah. Yeah, me too.”
“Do you have any idea what you’re doing next?” He asked. He turned his head to look at him.
With his gaze, Shang Qinghua felt like another moon entirely stared down at him, lighting him up from the inside out and revealing all of his secrets. An unnamed desperate feeling welled up with the question. He felt afraid. He was afraid of knowing what his options were and not knowing at all what to do with them. “No,” he whispered, voice weak. “I don’t know. I don’t know anything.”
Mobei Jun squeezed his hand. “It’s ok. You will.”
“I don’t feel like I will.” He could already feel the hysterics welling up. “I…don’t know what to do. About anything.”
Mobei Jun’s thumb brushed along his soothingly. “Qinghua,” he said. “Qinghua, it’s ok. You don’t have to know right now.”
Shang Qinghua squeezed his hand back, like he was trying to keep him from running away. It was all very loud, and he was very out of practice. He hadn’t had Mobei Jun to help him come down when he got like this for a very long time. It even felt like he had forgotten how to listen to Mobei Jun’s soothing voice and his calm demeanor. That scared him even more. He felt untethered, like a balloon full of helium, with nothing to keep him down. 
Mobei Jun released his hand and rolled onto his side to prop himself up on his elbow and look down at Shang Qinghua. The loss of his hand made him feel like he was about to float away forever. But Mobei Jun reached down with his other hand and grabbed onto Shang Qinghua’s again. He brought Shang Qinghua’s hand to his own chest. “Qinghua, breathe. It’s ok.”
Shang Qinghua looked over at him. “Is it? It doesn’t feel like it.”
Mobei Jun looked down at him, face even, heartbeat slow. His hand tightened on Shang Qinghua’s, and pushed it more firmly to his chest. He said nothing. 
Looking at his face, Shang Qinghua counted the heartbeats, and tried to think of nothing else. Instead of calming down, however, the desperation in his chest only morphed into another kind of panic. “Mobei,” he said, gripping onto the fabric of his shirt. “Mobei, I missed you.”
His hand flexed around Shang Qinghua’s. “I missed you, too.”
“I didn’t know what to do,” he whispered, almost frantic. “I never knew what to do.”
Mobei Jun began to look sad. “Me neither.”
Shang Qinghua began to cry. He rolled onto his side the same time Mobei Jun shifted, and they pulled each other into their arms. Shang Qinghua pushed his face into his chest and clutched into the fabric of his jacket. It was such a relieving feeling, almost painful in the way it pulsed through him. 
He only felt more afraid. Letting go would be so much harder, so much worse, now that there was no guarantee there would be another time for this. In that moment, he realized one thing: whatever happened, it would have to be final. Either he held onto Mobei Jun forever, or he let him go and never held him ever again.
Shang Qinghua felt a cold dread fill his gut. “Mobei, I need to tell you something.”
Mobei Jun’s arms tightened. When he spoke, he sounded afraid, like he was thinking of the last time Shang Qinghua had said those words. “What is it?”
Shang Qinghua shifted slightly, holding onto him tighter. He allowed himself one moment to savor it, just in case. He felt the way Mobei Jun’s breath expanded in his chest, the way his heartbeat could be felt from how close they were, the way his hair was long enough to fall down his back and tangle in Shang Qinghua’s fingers. He savored the way Mobei Jun held onto him like he would protect him from the world, and the way every embrace had only brought respite. 
“Qinghua,” he said, somewhat fraught. “What is it?”
Shang Qinghua shut his eyes, drifted a hand up to brush through the knots in his hair. “I love you.” He let the sound of it settle into the air around them for a moment, and though he hadn’t noticed before, he suddenly became aware of the sound of grasshoppers chirping, and the sound of the wind rustling the leaves in the trees. “I love you in every way I possibly could.”
Mobei Jun was silent and still for several moments. 
“I love you in the way that I want to be with you forever, never too far away and always close.” 
Mobei Jun pushed forward slightly and rolled Shang Qinghua onto his back. He lifted, propped up over him on one elbow, his other hand pillowing Shang Qinghua’s head. Shang Qinghua looked at his face once, but couldn’t take it. He looked away. “Qinghua,” he breathed. 
He blinked a few times, face flushed. “I mean it. Don’t ask me if I’m being serious.”
His hand shifted to caress the side of his face. He brushed his thumb along his cheek. “Qinghua,” he said again. “Look at me.”
Shang Qinghua really didn’t want to. He met his gaze and it was almost painful with how embarrassed he felt. He only felt more embarrassed when Mobei Jun did nothing but stare down at him. “What do you want me to look at you for? I’m so embarrassed.”
Mobei Jun dipped and pressed his lips to his cheek, soft and cool from the night air. “Why embarrassed?” He asked quietly, lips brushing against his skin. He pressed another kiss further down his cheek. Shang Qinghua’s face was on fire, and the grip he still had on Mobei Jun’s jacket only tightened. “What’s embarrassing?” He kissed further down, inward, towards Shang Qinghua’s mouth.
“Because you’re my best friend,” he whispered. “And you’ve been my best friend since I was a child. And—And I’m in love with you.”
Mobei Jun lifted slightly and hovered over him, only an inch away. “Still don’t understand what’s embarrassing.” He lowered, so their lips brushed when he spoke next. “You’re in good company, Qinghua. I love you, too.” 
He kissed him, gentle and calming, the same way he was about everything else. Shang Qinghua’s eyes stayed open for a moment as his brain tried to catch up. But then he found himself clutching onto him tighter, eyes slipping shut, as his hand caught in Mobei Jun’s hair with the grip. Mobei Jun winced slightly, then let out a soft laugh against his lips. 
Shang Qinghua loosened his grip to not pull on his hair, but only moved to cradle his face closer to his own. Mobei Jun tilted his head to the side, pushing further in to kiss him open. Shang Qinghua pulled back to breathe when he realized he had forgotten to do so ever since Mobei Jun kissed his cheek the first time. He kept his eyes shut, not wanting to wake up if this was a dream. He was breathing heavily, hands still on Mobei Jun’s face.
Mobei Jun was undeterred and pressed a light kiss to his open mouth, then to his bottom lip, then his chin, and down his jaw. “I’ve loved you for so long,” he whispered, breath washing down his neck. He kissed beneath his ear. “For so long that it seems odd that I’ve never told you. Why haven’t I?”
Shang Qinghua opened his eyes and the moon stared back at him, like it had seen everything. “I don’t know. I wish you would have. But it’s not like I told you either.” He swallowed, eyes scrunching shut when Mobei Jun kissed back up his jaw. “You meant too much to me to lose. That was why I didn’t tell you.”
Mobei Jun pulled back to look down at him. “You wouldn’t have. Even if I didn’t feel the same way. You mean too much to me to lose, too. There’s nothing you could do or say to change that.”
Shang Qinghua’s eyes filled with tears and he tugged him back down. Mobei Jun went pliantly, pressing their lips together again. He shifted over him, so his knees were on either side of his waist. He held Shang Qinghua’s face, kissing him so gently that it felt like kissing a cloud. Despite the gentleness, he still managed to coax Shang Qinghua open with it, and as soon as he opened up, Mobei Jun swept inside, head tilting to the side for a better angle.
Making an embarrassingly small sound in the back of his throat, Shang Qinghua wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him down. Mobei Jun went, shifting onto his elbows to hover over him. He pulled back for a moment, a quiet, wet sound hanging between them. Shang Qinghua looked up at him, felt his heart lurch, and pushed himself up to kiss him again. Mobei Jun’s lips turned up as he indulged for a few moments longer.
He pulled back and held his face again. His thumb came up to softly brush against Shang Qinghua’s bottom lip. He pulled down on it slightly, looking a little entranced at his red, kiss-bruised mouth. “I love you.”
Shang Qinghua let out a breath, like it was forced out of him. He reached up to grab onto his shoulders. “I love you,” he whispered, as if he was trying to convince him. 
Mobei Jun smiled.
“You asked me what my plans were,” Shang Qinghua said, swallowing as he stared at the hollow of Mobei Jun’s throat. “And I really don’t know. I don’t know what I want or what I’ll do, but I do know that I’ll only be happy if you’re there with me.”
Mobei Jun bent to press their foreheads together. His voice was quiet, so quiet it felt like a feat that Shang Qinghua could hear him at all. “I’ve never really known what I wanted to do. The only plan I’ve ever had has been you.”
Shang Qinghua felt his insides collapse a little. He tugged him down and pressed his face into his neck. Mobei Jun hugged him back just as tightly. They stayed that way for a long time.
53 notes · View notes
zinklair · 3 years ago
Text
Settings: when little Lan Zhan met the poor little Wei Ying in the streets starving and being sorrounded by wild wolves.
Tags: fluff, little lan zhan, little wei ying, lan xichen, the untamed, mxtx fanfic.
Characters: Lan Zhan, Wei Ying, and Lan Xichen
🏵 • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 🐇🐇
SUIBIAN ( WHATEVER) 
Little Lan Zhan was strolling with his older brother, Lan Xichen. The streets were busy by people coming from and to-- preparing for the coming cold winter snow.
"A-zhan, would you like to have some warm soup before we go and meet up with Grand Uncle?" Lan Xichen looked down on his right side. Below his waist, a small figure stared at him in return.
Lan Zhan pulled his brother's sleeves lightly and pointed a tiny stall by the side of the streets.
"Would you like to have that?"
"Mn."
Little Lan Zhan replied and his eyes glimmered with excitement. Lan Xichen softly chuckles at his little brother's response. He knew that Lan Zhan doesn't like to talk much. Unless the matter is important that requires to voice out his personal opinion and views.
In fact, he doesn't need to say a lot since his action would always speak louder than words. He prefers to do the action than do the empty talking.
Lan Xichen ordered two warm bowls. He was about to eat but something felt off when his brother didn't move and just continued to stare somewhere.
"A-zhan.. is the bowl too hot?"
Lan Zhan shook his head gently and continued to stare in a direction behind his big brother's back. Lan Xichen wondered what great it might be that it managed to grab his little brother's full attention.
"Aaaaahhh! Stay away from me!! You monsters!!"
Lan Xichen's attention turned to the loud cry of a child from a distance. At the end of the street, where the border of the small town lies, a small figure was crying for help. It seems that the wild wolves have reached wondering at the entrance of the town.
"Is this the reason why Grand Uncle came in this town?"
Lan Xichen thought. He looked around but their Grand Uncle is nowhere to be found. He took a glimpse at his brother and saw that the direction of his attention never changed. He followed Lan Zhan's eyes and immediately understood that Lan Zhan has been staring at the crying stray kid since moments ago.
"Take my food instead of me!! Here! Take it and leave!!"
The wolves growled eagerly and the cries became louder and desperate for help. People, mostly women and children, near that poor kid have taken a large steps away to avoid being attacked by the wild wolves. It seems they didnt want to get in danger just because of helping a person unrelated to them.
"Brother will go and help, stay and wai-- A-Zhan???"
Lan Xichen turned around to his brother but Lan Zhan's sitting figure suddenly disappeared in front of him. He looked under the tables but his brother is already gone from his sight. He turned around and saw a small figure in white robes with a cloud motif is walking towards the dangerous crowd with his both hands curled into fist.
Lan Xichen was stunned by horror and surprise. When did his brother left beside him? And how will he help the kid chase away the four wild wolves sorrounding it?
"Hey kid! Dont go near him! The wolves will hurt you!"
"A-zhan! Wait! Let me--"
Before Lan Xichen could finish saying his sentence, Lan Zhan have already stood beside the crying kid in dirty rug. The kid grabbed Lan Zhan's left arm and hid behind to shield himself. Lan Xichen's brother courageously shielded the poor kid with his little figure.
'How could you use your little body as a shield against these wolves who's just about the same height as you?'
Lan Xichen's blood seemed to have left his body by watching his brother's sudden action. If something happened to Lan Zhan, he would surely volunteer to punish himself back in the Cloud Recesses for negligence.
"Brother! Help me! These monsters are scary!"
The little kid cried while grabbing Lan Zhan's arm. His left sleeves is already covered by dirt because of the kid but he didn't mind at all considering their current situation. Lan Zhan removed the kid's hands in his arm and held hands with him instead.
The wolves growled, threatening both of the innocent kids yet it wasn't enough for Lan Zhan to be scared and run back crying to his big brother's arm.
Instead, he glared back at the wolves. If his stares could do the miracle, the wolves must have been skinned alive and dissipated their limbs. In a blink of an eye, Lan Zhan made a quick attack in an instant. The wolves yelped in pain and rushed back into the forest without looking back.
Lan Xichen didn't know whether to reprimand or to praise his little brother's independent action. One thing he knows, he is truly a descendant of the Lan Clan. He ran towards the two kids and examined his brother's body for any injuries. Even a scratch is considered as an injury.
"Are you hurt??"
Lan Xichen asked worriedly and examined Lan Zhan's body. His little brother shook his head and turned to the poor little kid instead.
"Big brother!! Thank you for your bravery!"
"Lan Zhan, what will you say if someone thanked you?"
"Mn."
Lan Xichen chuckled at tapped his brother's back.
"A-zhan said that you're welcome."
"My name is Wei Ying. How about yours kind big brother?"
"I'm Lan Xichen of the GusuLan Sect, and this is my little brother, Lan Wangji.."
"Sounds like Da-ge is from a prominent sect.."
"By the way, Lan Zhan-er gege, what did you use to make those beasts run away?"
Lan Xichen was taken aback and stared at the Wei Ying. 'How can he just address my brother in anyway he wants to? This kid...' he trailed off at his thoughts and turned to Lan Zhan who isn't bothered even a bit.
Lan Zhan opened his right hand and the small wooden stick hidden in his sleeve fell on the cold floor. Lan Xichen wondered where did his brother managed to grab this weapon.
"Whatever."
Lan Zhan replied. It means that he took whatever he can grab without knowing if it can be used as a weapon?
Wei Ying laugh from glee and almost gave Lan Zhan a hug, but the latter took a little step backwards. Avoiding his attempt to hug him. Lan Zhan scanned the little boy covered in dirt and dust from head to toe, and then to their linking hands.
Lan Zhan's wrinkled his forehead at the sight of his left sleeves but swiftly pulled out from his displeased look. His once white and straightened sleeve has been now stained and crumpled in several folds. Although Lan Zhan quickly restrained himself, it couldn't escape Lan Xichen's sight and chuckled softly.
Wei Ying seems to noticed it too and was about to pull from holding hands because of self shame yet Lan Zhan held his hands tighter. A little growl caught the Lan Brother's attention. Wei Ying grinned shyly while scratching the back of his head.
Lan Zhan stared at his brother and looked back to the tiny stall where they were supposed to eat.
"Me and my brother were having a meal, would you like to come with us?"
"But big brother, i dont have any money."
Without any further ado, Lan Zhan started to walk off ahead to the direction of the tiny stall. Since he was unwilling to let go of Wei Ying's hand, the little kid was automatically dragged by Lan Zhan.
Lan Xichen smiled at the sight of his brother being protective towards another kid. It is a first time seeing his brother save someone and took a surprising yet courageous action. They might become a really good friends in the future..
Written by: zinklair (former @forbiddenjingshi)
Uploaded in Tumblr only.
Ideas were all mine. Do not plagiarize. Stealing is a crime.
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7 notes · View notes
forbiddenjingshi · 3 years ago
Text
Settings: when little Lan Zhan met the poor little Wei Ying in the streets starving and being sorrounded by wild wolves.
Tags: fluff, little lan zhan, little wei ying, lan xichen, the untamed, mxtx fanfic.
Characters: Lan Zhan, Wei Ying, and Lan Xichen
🏵 • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 🐇🐇
SUIBIAN (WHATEVER)
Little Lan Zhan was strolling with his older brother, Lan Xichen. The streets were busy by people coming from and to-- preparing for the coming cold winter snow.
"A-zhan, would you like to have some warm soup before we go and meet up with Grand Uncle?" Lan Xichen looked down on his right side. Below his waist, a small figure stared at him in return.
Lan Zhan pulled his brother's sleeves lightly and pointed a tiny stall by the side of the streets.
"Would you like to have that?"
"Mn."
Little Lan Zhan replied and his eyes glimmered with excitement. Lan Xichen softly chuckles at his little brother's response. He knew that Lan Zhan doesn't like to talk much. Unless the matter is important that requires to voice out his personal opinion and views.
In fact, he doesn't need to say a lot since his action would always speak louder than words. He prefers to do the action than do the empty talking.
Lan Xichen ordered two warm bowls. He was about to eat but something felt off when his brother didn't move and just continued to stare somewhere.
"A-zhan.. is the bowl too hot?"
Lan Zhan shook his head gently and continued to stare in a direction behind his big brother's back. Lan Xichen wondered what great it might be that it managed to grab his little brother's full attention.
"Aaaaahhh! Stay away from me!! You monsters!!"
Lan Xichen's attention turned to the loud cry of a child from a distance. At the end of the street, where the border of the small town lies, a small figure was crying for help. It seems that the wild wolves have reached wondering at the entrance of the town.
"Is this the reason why Grand Uncle came in this town?"
Lan Xichen thought. He looked around but their Grand Uncle is nowhere to be found. He took a glimpse at his brother and saw that the direction of his attention never changed. He followed Lan Zhan's eyes and immediately understood that Lan Zhan has been staring at the crying stray kid since moments ago.
"Take my food instead of me!! Here! Take it and leave!!"
The wolves growled eagerly and the cries became louder and desperate for help. People, mostly women and children, near that poor kid have taken a large steps away to avoid being attacked by the wild wolves. It seems they didnt want to get in danger just because of helping a person unrelated to them.
"Brother will go and help, stay and wai-- A-Zhan???"
Lan Xichen turned around to his brother but Lan Zhan's sitting figure suddenly disappeared in front of him. He looked under the tables but his brother is already gone from his sight. He turned around and saw a small figure in white robes with a cloud motif is walking towards the dangerous crowd with his both hands curled into fist.
Lan Xichen was stunned by horror and surprise. When did his brother left beside him? And how will he help the kid chase away the four wild wolves sorrounding it?
"Hey kid! Dont go near him! The wolves will hurt you!"
"A-zhan! Wait! Let me--"
Before Lan Xichen could finish saying his sentence, Lan Zhan have already stood beside the crying kid in dirty rug. The kid grabbed Lan Zhan's left arm and hid behind to shield himself. Lan Xichen's brother courageously shielded the poor kid with his little figure.
'How could you use your little body as a shield against these wolves who's just about the same height as you?'
Lan Xichen's blood seemed to have left his body by watching his brother's sudden action. If something happened to Lan Zhan, he would surely volunteer to punish himself back in the Cloud Recesses for negligence.
"Brother! Help me! These monsters are scary!"
The little kid cried while grabbing Lan Zhan's arm. His left sleeves is already covered by dirt because of the kid but he didn't mind at all considering their current situation. Lan Zhan removed the kid's hands in his arm and held hands with him instead.
The wolves growled, threatening both of the innocent kids yet it wasn't enough for Lan Zhan to be scared and run back crying to his big brother's arm.
Instead, he glared back at the wolves. If his stares could do the miracle, the wolves must have been skinned alive and dissipated their limbs. In a blink of an eye, Lan Zhan made a quick attack in an instant. The wolves yelped in pain and rushed back into the forest without looking back.
Lan Xichen didn't know whether to reprimand or to praise his little brother's independent action. One thing he knows, he is truly a descendant of the Lan Clan. He ran towards the two kids and examined his brother's body for any injuries. Even a scratch is considered as an injury.
"Are you hurt??"
Lan Xichen asked worriedly and examined Lan Zhan's body. His little brother shook his head and turned to the poor little kid instead.
"Big brother!! Thank you for your bravery!"
"Lan Zhan, what will you say if someone thanked you?"
"Mn."
Lan Xichen chuckled at tapped his brother's back.
"A-zhan said that you're welcome."
"My name is Wei Ying. How about yours kind big brother?"
"I'm Lan Xichen of the GusuLan Sect, and this is my little brother, Lan Wangji.."
"Sounds like Da-ge is from a prominent sect.."
"By the way, Lan Zhan-er gege, what did you use to make those beasts run away?"
Lan Xichen was taken aback and stared at the Wei Ying. 'How can he just address my brother in anyway he wants to? This kid...' he trailed off at his thoughts and turned to Lan Zhan who isn't bothered even a bit.
Lan Zhan opened his right hand and the small wooden stick hidden in his sleeve fell on the cold floor. Lan Xichen wondered where did his brother managed to grab this weapon.
"Whatever."
Lan Zhan replied. It means that he took whatever he can grab without knowing if it can be used as a weapon?
Wei Ying laugh from glee and almost gave Lan Zhan a hug, but the latter took a little step backwards. Avoiding his attempt to hug him. Lan Zhan scanned the little boy covered in dirt and dust from head to toe, and then to their linking hands.
Lan Zhan's wrinkled his forehead at the sight of his left sleeves but swiftly pulled out from his displeased look. His once white and straightened sleeve has been now stained and crumpled in several folds. Although Lan Zhan quickly restrained himself, it couldn't escape Lan Xichen's sight and chuckled softly.
Wei Ying seems to noticed it too and was about to pull from holding hands because of self shame yet Lan Zhan held his hands tighter. A little growl caught the Lan Brother's attention. Wei Ying grinned shyly while scratching the back of his head.
Lan Zhan stared at his brother and looked back to the tiny stall where they were supposed to eat.
"Me and my brother were having a meal, would you like to come with us?"
"But big brother, i dont have any money."
Without any further ado, Lan Zhan started to walk off ahead to the direction of the tiny stall. Since he was unwilling to let go of Wei Ying's hand, the little kid was automatically dragged by Lan Zhan.
Lan Xichen smiled at the sight of his brother being protective towards another kid. It is a first time seeing his brother save someone and took a surprising yet courageous action. They might become a really good friends in the future..
Written by: forbiddenjingshi / zinklair (mainblog account)
Uploaded in Tumblr only.
Ideas were all mine. Do not plagiarize. Stealing is a crime.
7 notes · View notes
trensu · 5 years ago
Note
hi!! i really enjoy reading your wangxiantics episode recaps, so thanks for taking the time to do those for us! if you had to place only ONE wangxian kiss in the untamed canon, what moment would you put it?
WHAT AN INTERESTING QUESTION!!! I purposely held off on replying this ask until AFTER i had finished my wangxiantics guide so I could make absolutely certain of my answer!
So after some thought, if I could place only ONE wangxian kiss in the untamed canon, it would absolutely have to be in the last episode. 
At this point, lwj has already come to terms with his romantic feelings for wwx. He’s matured, and he has a better understanding of who he, himself, is as a person. He’s weathered the storm and come out still standing, y’know? As for wwx, he’s finally finally achieved some sort of inner peace. Not completely, mind you, bc that’s a heck of a lot of emotional and mental trauma to work through, but he knows his family is safe now. He knows that all the shit that went down before his death wasn’t solely due to his own mistakes and character flaws. Some of that weight he’s been getting crushed under has been lifted. Finally, in this episode, all the external conflict that was constantly pressuring our boys and shoving them around from one place to the next, is all resolved! They’ve got no one to answer to except themselves!
Having the kiss in any other episode i think would’ve just created more conflict and tension (of the un-fun variety) bc there was either already SO MUCH happening  (post resurrection) or the boys just wouldn’t have been in the right emotional/mental state for it to lead to anything good (pre- and post-sunshot campaign). So it has to happen in this last episode, where they both know themselves and where they stand in the world; where they both have experienced all those trials together and apart and are able to decide that yes, even after everything, the person they want and trust and love is this person right here. 
Now, as to WHERE in the last episode the kiss should be, it gets a little trickier. I don’t want it right after they escape the Temple of Doom bc that could just be played off as split second thing resulting from an adrenaline rush. Then I thought maybe when it’s revealed that lsz is wen yuan but i felt that that might take away focus from wwx’s realization that he didn’t completely fail the wen clan, and that all his efforts, all his sacrifices, culminated in the wonderful talented boy before him. So i scrapped that idea.
Finally, I decided that the best place to put that kiss in this episode would be during their heart to heart on that boulder near the waterfall. After wwx tells hanguang jun that he truly deserves that title and lwj replies that wwx deserves it too. I think the kiss would fit perfectly there bc then their separation wouldn’t have been so painful. It wouldn’t have been a kiss goodbye. It wouldn’t have been a “do you love me?” kiss. It would’ve been a “my love is with you always no matter the distance” kiss. It’s a promise that even tho they have to go separate ways in a bit, they will always end up here with each other; bc the world is vast and full of wonder but it holds only one home for them and that home is when they are with each other. 
ALTERNATIVELY:
@theuntamednarrator came up with a super adorable option. They could get kisses during their meal at yiling! You all know how a-yuan holds the title for Greatest Wingman, right? so in this scenario, he really goes all out. He insists on Xian-gege giving him a kiss on the cheek, and wwx is hardly gonna say no to that request. So he happily leans down to give his precious little a-yuan a kiss on the cheek. 
BUT THEN a-yuan is adamant that xian-gege ALSO has to give rich-gege a kiss. RICH-GEGE CAN’T BE LEFT OUT, THAT’LL HURT RICH-GEGE’S FEELINGS AND THAT’S NOT VERY NICE! So wwx would laugh nervously and be like “kids, amirite?” and brush his lips against lwj’s cheek. It happens in the span of, like, two seconds. He just dives in and barely, barely grazes his lips against the soft skin of lwj’s cheek before he’s back on the other side of the table talking loudly and fiddling with his chopsticks.
of course lwj completely blue-screens for a solid minute right after. in fact, his brain is only rebooted bc a-yuan wants a kiss from rich-gege. wwx tries to tell him off (bc omg lwj doesn’t like to be touched and he’s already pushed the limits by giving him a kiss to begin with!) but lwj has yet to say no to anything a-yuan requests and he’s not about to start now. So he gives a-yuan a kiss on the forehead but a-yuan explains that no, “rich-gege you did it wrong, you have to kiss the cheek!” and lwj would be all serious about it, “my apologies. i will attempt to do it correctly” and then gives him a kiss on the cheek.
and wwx feels a swoop in his belly bc a-yuan turned to look at him and he knew in that moment that a-yuan is going to tell lwj to kiss him. and wwx just...can’t have that happen right now and he’s wondering if flipping the table and running away can be explained as a freak side-effect of demonic cultivation (except wait no, that would just make lwj mad bc lwj hates demonic cultivation) and OH THANK GOD, THE PERIMETER ALARMS HAVE BEEN TRIPPED, BETTER RUN BACK TO THE BURIAL MOUNDS.
...
So there you go anon! You get my option and TB’s option, lol, a two for one deal! Althought, i must say, I am curious as to where others would place that kiss, given the option...
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ppatpranss · 4 years ago
Text
GAYA SA PELIKULA EP. 02 Review: Let’s talk about that dinner scene.
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“May nahanap ka na bang mauuwian?”
I always have this kind of fear over a series that I already liked in the first episode: a fear that the second one will not live up to it, and so will the rest. But Gaya Sa Pelikula on its second episode did not disappoint, and instead set a whole new pace that further strengthens the story it wants to tell. In this episode, you get easy banters, hilarious make-believe and intriguing fantasies, heartwarming softness, a piercing tension at every turn, that very subtle buildup of romance, and of course, that wonderful conversation on the dining table.
Early warning that I have been gushing about the dinner scene since last night, so it will take up a lot of space in this review/discussion.
[WATCH EPISODE 02 HERE]
youtube
What sets Gaya apart
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Every time I watch an episode of this show and would rewatch it, I am always overwhelmed with the amount of observations I am able to write down. There are a lot of elements that make this such a good watching experience, and all of those elements just naturally come together. By this, I mean that it does not rely solely on, say, just directing or writing or acting. All of these come together, and I appreciate that you can clearly see how well-thought out everything is.
Episode 02 is a lot more free-flowing and non-structured in my opinion. Transitions feel a lot smoother this time compared to the more scene-after-scene approach of the (no less incredible) pilot episode. Because of this, I actually feel like this point is the real beginning of the story – that this sets the tone for a lot of the future events that could possibly happen between Karl and Vlad, and the people in their lives.
Personally, this is what sets Gaya apart not just among the BL series, but also in Philippine TV in general. For the longest time, we got used to stagnant or repetitive conflicts. Sometimes all the drama are injected to overwhelm the audience. But this one takes its time well. This is a show that wants to bring its audience along its every journey.
Parallels, heartbreaks, buildups
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The opening scene picks up where we left off, with Ate Judit now writing a check for Karl’s rent because Vlad will stay over. She reminds Karl that while she’s a cool sister, she won’t stand for her brother getting hurt again. With this, she specifically mentioned “a boy too sweet to swat a fly” who broke his brother’s heart before.
First of all, I’m getting a sudden whiplash whenever this is brought up because I know exactly who it is. Given the first encounter of Karl with Vlad, where he saw him drunkenly dancing to a song about intense heartbreak (again, stream tyl by kakie!), it must have been something truly painful. It doesn’t help as well that there is an obvious parallel going on here with the fact that the description also fits Karl. At one point, Vlad also tells him that he does not need to worry because he looks like someone who does not have a power to hurt him anyway. They are really setting us up as early as now for the heartache, no?
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In the same way, I appreciate how this show inserts the sexual attraction also forming between the two of them. Sexual attraction is a part of romance. Gaya normalizes it and emphasizes that it is just natural. The couch scene was particularly genius because of the double meanings of Karl and Vlad’s exchange. But more than that, I like how it also unapologetically shows the physical component of that attraction by having Karl and Vlad sit close together. Vlad even has his arm around Karl. Even the fact that Karl stared at Vlad when he got out of the bathroom was a nice touch.
While the One More Chance dream fantasy was all sorts of hilarious and sexy, it is a testament to how Karl’s subconscious is already telling him something that he keeps on denying. I also like the nice touch there when Karl woke up, he was just disoriented that he had a dirty dream, but not disgusted by it (there are some series and dramas that do this). He is attracted to Vlad. However, for Karl to accept his feelings, it also means that he needs to accept his sexuality. A point which was discussed primarily in the scene before this – the conversation at the dining table.
The phenomenal dinner scene
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I wish I am able to give justice to this scene through words, and I’ll try because we need to talk about it (or I need to talk about it). As a fan of films and TV series, I feel like conversations are the most difficult to bring to the surface. You need to keep the audience’s attention while also making sure that the depth is there. For me, what I always look for in conversation scenes are three things: (1) how normal these conversations would sound like as if you are overhearing them from the table next to you; (2) how a director captures the rawness of the exchange between the two actors; and (3) how natural would the delivery be of each line. I think the third point is very important. Some actors have this tendency to talk in a certain kind of perky tone that makes it sound superficial. Thank goodness, both Ian and Pao were really great in this scene.
Of course, the most well-known example for a good conversation scene is the entire Before trilogy – it remains the gold standard for exhibiting the power and the magic of conversations, of an entire film with just these two people talking and forming connections. While this dinner scene isn’t exactly a Before levels type of perfection, to me it was a perfect scene in the face of BL series and the Philippines TV landscape in general.
𝗚𝗮𝘆. 𝗕𝗮𝗸𝗹𝗮. 𝗕𝗮𝘆𝗼𝘁. 𝗕𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴. 𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝗮𝘆 𝗶𝘁. 𝗜𝘁 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱𝘀 𝗻𝗼 𝗲𝘂𝗽𝗵𝗲𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗺. 𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗮𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘂𝗹𝘁.
One of the things best highlighted in this scene is when Karl did the gesture with his hand. That is unfortunately common in the Philippines, with people literally doing it to your face when they ask you. Or some of them done behind your back with matching giggling and knowing looks. I should know because I’ve seen it among my relatives when they try to refer to or describe a cousin or an uncle who is gay or might be gay. Karl was conditioned to think this way, and it’s no surprise that he would struggle to ask the question and get the word out. Meanwhile, Vlad is confident in his own skin. He doesn’t miss a beat and tries to get Karl to say the words in a way that both lectures him and encourages him.
This is what makes the scene purely amazing. It is confrontational, but it is not dramatic. It isn’t even preachy at all. It’s just a seemingly ordinary conversation between two people over a meal, trying to get to know and understand each other. You really got to hand it to Severo for constructing a dialogue this way because it also brings out both of Karl and Vlad’s current disposition. Moreover, this topic is a big deal and there are a lot of conversations that need to be had around it. But this scene easily summed it up around that one simple gesture. In less than a minute, it was able to tell you that being called gay, bakla, bayot, bading is not an insult. No grand monologue was needed.
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Aside from that iconic exchange, I also loved the second part of it. It’s not going around much on Twitter so I can see some people reacting to the earlier exchange as if Karl was really just insulting Vlad. But the deal here is, Karl is also in the process of unlearning his bias and conditioning. He grew up in a household where his Dad would take digs against his gay uncle, Tito Santi. There’s even a hint of Tito Santi being physically hurt by his father if he’s “babakla-bakla” (basically another insulting way of saying lalambot-lambot). You can just imagine how difficult it must have been for him to grow up and feel like he needs to follow a certain path that his parents see for him.
Hence, when confronted by Vlad with the question, “Ikaw ba, bakla ka?” he was defensive. His tone shot up much higher than normal and was almost panicked. You can literally feel all of his guard come up. Vlad asked him why he was acting like he just accused him of a crime, and to his credit, Karl immediately apologized. But again, I just really understand Karl and I can’t wait for him to really see himself and get to know himself. There is so much about him that I am interested to learn and for him to learn as well about himself. I always see him as like a kid learning to take his first steps – he stumbles but tries to stand again even for just the sake of himself. His many mess-ups in life make his character compelling… and I guess this is just me on my #ProtectKarlAgenda.
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Interestingly, as per Direk JP, above scene references an iconic scene from Jose Javier Reyes’ 1993 rom-com film MAY MINAMAHAL which, coincidentally, I just watched last month when I found its restored version on iWant. Amazing as well that the specific scene of them having a meal together was really my favourite from the film because it was a turning point for Carlitos (Aga Muhlach) and Monica (Aiko Melendez). It was when they finally start to get to know each other because for the longest time, they would just flirt in the cafeteria. It was a fitting reference because for Karl and Vlad, they are already starting to get to know each other by sharing even a small part of themselves. I also find it adorable watching Karl watch Vlad messily eat his food. I live for those small soft moments because it just seems so pure and innocent.
All in all, the dinner scene truly delivered. It was iconic and powerful. Major props to Gege and Direk JP, but also to both Ian and Pao. I loved how Pao was able to capture Karl’s reluctance and embarrassment, and Ian just exudes the confidence you need to see in Vlad. How can I describe this connection? Magnetic, I guess? They can easily throw these lines at each other, sustain the tension, and kind of just get lost in it. At every turn, Vlad has the power in this scene as he tries to pull Karl towards him, but also Karl stands on his own ground despite being unsure. I appreciate that about Karl – his life can be a mess, but he never really loses his sense of self and principles.
Finding a home
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Aside from everything that happened in this episode, one of the things that I definitely loved is its subtle hint of these two people finding a home in each other. The most striking line for me, really, was when Karl asked Vlad, may nahanap ka na bang mauuwian? I like that this can translate to have you found a place to stay in? and have you found a place to go home to? The episode had such a great run in double meanings, and this one takes the cake more than anything. Karl was starting to feel guilty about kicking out Vlad, and it also happens that over his phone call with Tito Santi, he told him to always find a way to repay kindness with paying it forward to another person or to the community. Luckily, Vlad went back to his apartment to use the restroom.
When Vlad was about to leave, Karl called him back and asked, “Nag-dinner ka na ba?”
Vlad stayed for dinner.
When Vlad was done with dinner and was about to leave again, Karl stopped him and said, “Dito ka na lang matulog.”
Vlad stayed the night.
When Vlad was about to leave to come live with his ex-boyfriend after cooking breakfast as a thank-you, Karl offered him a place to stay, “Will you be my housemate?”
Vlad said yes and stayed.
Epilogue
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In today’s epilogue, Karl is still seated on his side of the couch, but Vlad this time was standing at the back of the other side, leaning forward. A stuffed whale occupies the space beside Karl. Every now and then, the two of them would look at each other but it is Karl who would often glance back at Vlad – as to what his eyes are telling him, I don’t know. But if I am allowed to guess, perhaps he was trying to get him to sit beside him? Perhaps, as the closing note goes, there is always a space for Vlad there.
Comments; Ramblings
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It’s only the second episode but Gaya is already sparking conversations and it does it in such an engaging way for its many fans. For me, this one really sets the foundation for what is yet to come for the story of Karl and Vlad. If anything, this episode emphasizes that struggle will always be a part of queer love, at least in our current socio-political climate. It isn’t just in regard to identity, but also with everything that comes with the acceptance of who you are by yourself and the Other.
For the pilot episode discussion, I talked about how there seems to be a running theme in this show about seeing – of looking at yourself, the other, or a beloved. This episode shows us Karl seeing Vlad; closely and slowly starting to unravel what it was about him that compels him. For Vlad’s part, I’m pretty sure he’s starting to see who Karl is, too. I feel like him feeling comfortable enough with the idea of staying in Karl’s place and actually living with him over the sem break is an indication of strangely feeling at ease (home?) with someone he just met.
The concept of persons as homes takes me back to a post from a Facebook page called Bibliophile, which was lifted from a poem written by Warsan Shire called ‘For Women Who Are Difficult to Love’: “You can’t make homes out of human beings. Someone should have already told you that.” This episode made me think a lot about that. On one hand, it feels romantic and uplifting to know that you have someone you can call your home, someone you can always return to as Yiu-fai put it in HAPPY TOGETHER [1997]. On the other hand, it feels scary because people change and if today the door and the windows are open, it might not be the same the next day. But I suppose I can feel hopeful for both Karl and Vlad. Perhaps, the door to Karl’s apartment will always be open for Vlad and the space beside the couch will always be reserved for him.
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Gaya Sa Pelikula airs new episodes every Friday 8PM (Manila time) on Globe Studios’ Youtube channel.
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