#thank you for these Xela!

[brighteststar707]

Faye headcanons:

You give out this mysterious vibe that makes people want to get to know you more

You have a lot of friends and they all love you for how fun and genuine you are

Overachiever in academia✨

Animal person. Not to the point of being obsessive, but you're fond of them

You yearn for deep love where you're accepted as who you are but you're just as scared to be seen

Quite adventurous and open to try a lot of things!

Ooh Xela you've definitely nailed some of these!

I'll take the first one. I'm sort of a closed book when I meet new people which I've been told comes off as mysterious. It's fine most times, less so when people take it as a challenge to try and 'crack me open' (real phrase i've been told). It's definitely not something I do on purpose, I'm just a very private person by nature.

I wouldn't say I have a *lot* of friends. That being said, the friends I do have are ones I really value and while I can't speak for why they like me, I'd like to believe they think those things of me.

Now, an academic overachiever.... not so much. I'm academically average, and I'm happy with that. My aspirations are not rooted in being very academically successful, so I'm content to be average.

You're right about me being an animal person, though. Being around animals makes me very very happy. Also, I love learning about animal species and behaviours. I just think they're neat!

Okay, for this one, who gave you the right to read me so accurately? I don't have much to add to add to that except that it probably goes hand in hand with the first point about me being so private. I don't feel comfortable being fully seen by people, but I wish for a love where someone sees me. It's a vicious cycle ( like that one comic of the dog playing fetch where the dog is like 'no take, only throw').

That last one is also true! I'm open to a lot of new experiences. Life is short and I want to do as much as I can while I still can!

I see you reblogged the original post too, so expect my Xela headcanons soon hehe

[xelasrecords]

Hi, I was reading your works and think you have a really good understanding of characters so I wanted to ask. Do you see any scenario in which Jumin would push MC away for her own sake? Extreme cases like if his father embezzled from the company but Jumin took the fall and had to go to prison for the maximum amount of years. Or if he lost all his wealth and couldn’t afford security anymore, but still had people after him. Would he want MC to stay with him even though he wouldn't be able to protect her/give her a "normal" life?

Your marvellous mind! This makes my brain tingle. If you see from the times he's faced with threats and his bad ends, there aren't any scenarios where he pushes his loved ones away for their protection. That's more Saeyoung. Jumin is like a dragon that hoards his precious things. The more he's threatened, the tighter his grip on his loved ones would be. His biggest fear is to lose everything he holds dear, so he builds up his security to be impenetrable.

If Jumin had to take the fall for his father's embezzlement, I think he'd set up emergency funds and security for MC and hide them away from the media before he goes to prison. He has a private island where MC can stay. These plans may even have been set up way before as a precaution. He'd try to make MC's life as comfortable as he can and hope she would wait for him to come back.

If Jumin became poor and had bad guys coming after him, it's possible that he'd go to Saeyoung for help. He's not above pleading for his lover's safety and be indebted to someone when he can't hold up a fair bargain. I'm also thinking about when he tries to give Elizabeth the Third to V because he doesn't think he's a good owner, so I'm tempted to say he could push MC away if he thought she deserved better. But even then, he can only part with his cat because he knows she'd be with someone he trusts. He is still in control.

More importantly, Elizabeth is a cat who can't choose him back on an equal stance. MC can. You know how pliant Jumin is over MC's words. If MC told him they wanted to stay with him despite everything, how long do you think it'd take before Jumin's resolve broke? Maybe they could run away and start afresh where nobody knew them. It wouldn't be surprising seeing that he takes this route in his BE2 DLC. Maybe MC could protect him instead. Maybe they could work together to protect their relationship and future.

When faced with imminent danger, Jumin snaps into ultra logical mode. So if he actually pushed MC away for their safety, it wouldn't be due to pure angst. It'd be a calculated act where he had some control over.

Also, during the RAE crisis, Jumin's confidence never falters. He still believes there's something he can do to protect the RFA and he toils away endlessly for solutions. All the while losing his job and friends and half his assets. It's this that makes me think when everything goes to hell, the only person he can trust is himself and therefore MC is the safest with him.

Jumin's selflessness isn't by giving up his lover. It's by giving everything he has to protect them even at the cost of himself.

[juminies]

If there's one thing you HAVE to change about Jumin, what would it be?

SO here's the thing. There are absolutely things about Jumin that would make me keep my distance if he were real. I hate people assuming they know what's best for me better than I do. I hate people making decisions for or about me without bringing them to me first. Jumin naturally takes to hoarding things precious to him with reckless abandon as if they are his and his alone, and it could quickly become suffocating if he were stubborn enough. I could say I just want to erase all of that. But, while I don't think he would ever not be at least a little bit possessive, he is explicitly working on it as the game progresses. He wants you to be involved, he wants you to be secure and happy, he tells you he will discuss everything with you from now on. And of course it'd take him some time, but I don't think it's something I would have to choose to click my fingers and get rid of rather than trusting him with it.

I could say that I wish he had normal, kind, considerate parents who didn't put him through several layers of hell. And I do, in a way, but also that's boring (sorry Jumin) because we're talking about fiction here, and his worse traits and his past are also what make him an interesting and complex character. I like them being there and I like seeing his development and I actually don't think I would like him as much without them. His flaws make him feel realer, and oddly more endearing.

So here's my actual answer, and I don't know if it's a change in the way you're looking for, because I do think it's something he would be open to after some time and conversation. However. I don't like that he is so aware of—purposeful about—his repression yet doesn't seek to do anything proper about it. He seems stuck in this mindset that just because MC understands him and cares to see him as more than what's on the surface his threads are untangled, and that's that. When I first saw this ask I wanted to playfully answer just put him in therapy, but after thinking about it more I sort of cycled back around to getting him therapy. I cannot heal him, love cannot heal him, and it would become so tiring for both him and his partner if he continued to think that way. When it comes down to it he is traumatised and he needs to understand that's not just something that goes away when you open your heart to someone.

[vibing-just-alex]

I’m sorry for your loss

..here thing permanent ..most the like seem doesn’t death ?right ,again him see probably i’ll ,like ,but.. .thanks

[gnibiv-tsuj-xela]

XELA. WHY WOULD YOU LET JUSTS DIE? WHY WOULD YOU ASK FOR VILING TO KILL HIM? HOW COULD YOU?

—mih llik ..dluow gniliv wonk t’ndid i-i

…

..enif eb d’eh tsuj dlot i ..tluaf ym si ti.. ..thgir er’uoy

.em detsurt eh

[askanonbinary]

Hello, I wanted to ask for help with a question.

I'm a lesbian and I identify as a demigirl, but I wonder if I'm nonbinary. Sometimes I feel like I'm not even 1% a girl, but sometimes I think at least some % I am? I don't feel comfortable with pronouns other than she/her, but I feel dysphoric sometimes, especially because I've seen some comments about lesbians not being non-binary and that made me upset.

I hope I haven't bothered you or made you uncomfortable.

Have a good day ^^

; hey, thanks for sending this in, no bother at all and I apologize for the wait !! Obviously your identity is what you feel most comfortable with, but might I suggest looking at a label like Girlflux ?? A bit from the wiki link I gave describes Girlflux as:

" feeling strongly feminine sometimes and weakly feminine at other times. Girlflux people can fluctuate from feeling completely without gender (agender) to completely feminine or female. In between those extremes, one may feel slightly feminine (librafeminine), to half feminine (demigirl), to mostly feminine (paragirl), or any other amount of femininity. "

; I recommend reading the whole thing as this could apply to you, based on your description. Of course, if nonbinary is the label you'd prefer then go ahead !! But there are many many labels to choose from, if you want one more specific or if you want something more broad, there will be something for you !!

; lastly feel free to ignore those who say lesbians have to be 100% women ( or even woman-aligned and whatnot ), it's an uneducated take && denies historical factors + denies the existence of a large portion of lesbians who are around today. So don't worry, you can be a lesbian and nonbinary ( or girlflux, etc, whatever label you end up using !! )

- Mod Xela

[thatonepoppyangstguy]

hiiiii!! i have some silly questions!!

do you like anyone?? and if you do then who🥰

2. have you ever listened to mindless self indulgence?? i love kill the rock and stupid mf [tw for this song bc it has the r slur in it so be warned] by them!!!! ooh also do you like weezer, girl in red, the smiths, chappell roan, sabrina carpenter, olivia rodrigo, mother mother, the yeah yeah yeahs, alex g., and mitski???? 🥰🥰

3. what in RA9 happened to you, you look like you’ve been through hell and still haven’t came back yet 😭😭

4. do you know a silly little goober named connor???????? he’s my son!!

uhm yeah, love you and you’re pretty!! /p bc i have a wife guys

"-HU -TOL A STAHT ZEEJJJJ" (JJJJEEZ THATS A LOT- UH-) ",sparcS sti ..tub ,enoyna llet t'nod ,ffo tsriF" (First off, don't tell anyone, but.. its Scraps) ",aedi on ,srehto eht ,sey ,ikstim dna ,g xela fo TIB a ,rehtom rehtom ,ogirdor aivilo ,naor lleppach ,der ni lrig ,ekil ,esoht fo ytirojam eht ,dnoceS" (Second, the majority of the others, like, girl in red, chappell roan, olivia rodrigo, mother mother, a BIT of alex g, and mitski, yes, the others, no idea" ",elbbeP detsiwT ,sdrow owT ,drihT" (Third, Two words, Twisted Pebble,) "?kniht I stargnoc tuB .on ,htruof dnA (And fourth, no. But congrats I think?) "!!sknaht.." (..thanks!!) Slight tail wag, you made the silly's eternal hell a bit better!

[voidedleylines]

FFXIV Write Day 13: Butte

In which a small moment is shared

Rating: G || No CWs apply || Stormblood setting || Warrior of Light/Hien Rijin (pre-slash)

Enjoy!

She stares out onto the Steppe and tries to steady her breathing. She hasn’t felt like she can take a proper deep breath in…well, a long time.

Now the war rages in full and she finds herself at the head of it. A leader again, despite her best efforts. Or maybe, because of.

There is no telling what the Nadam will bring tomorrow but Hien seems so sure the Mol will be victorious. She still can’t tell how much he actually believes that.

In spite of herself, the thought continues to stay on him as she sits where they first met. All the talk from Yugiri and Gosetsu, but nothing prepared her for his steadfast conviction and his…determined green eyes. Beautiful and piercing.

Beautiful.

Freyalin lets out a frustrated sigh and shakes her head in order to clear her brain. Now wasn’t any sort of time to-

“Ah. My apologies. Seems this spot is no longer as private as it was,” a voice rings out and she jumps.

Hien stands there, arm resting effortlessly on his katana as was so often the case. His face is unreadable, but the slightest cock in his eyebrow shows amusement.

She attempts to get up but her limbs have fallen asleep due to her stagnant position and she struggles. “No,” she sputters, “No you were here first I-I can go if you need-”

“I would much appreciate the company, if that’s alright with you,” he says, cutting off her ramble.

She still is only halfway up when she pauses at his request. She looks at him a moment and sees too much sincerity, so she nods and sits back down.

He smiles and nods, taking a few more small steps towards her before sitting as well.

There is a silence that comes as they both stare out at Reunion. It isn’t awkward; but a lot more comfortable than she’s used to. A terrifying thought she again can’t think about right now.

“You seemed troubled earlier, I…are you alright?” He asks, breaking to silence.

Her eyes go a bit wide as she looks at him. There is nothing but sincerity looking back at her and she finds her throat go dry.

After a few more seconds she smiles and nods, “I am alright,” she says, “Just trying to best prepare for tomorrow.”

That wasn’t a total lie, at least.

He smiles at her and nods before, blessedly, breaking the contact and looking back out. “I understand that,” he answers, “but once we win and the Xela join our side, things will finally turn for the better.”

The last part is almost a whisper, and she wonders how much of that he was saying for his own peace of mind. The way his jaw sets, she thinks probably most of it.

Still she finds herself smirking, “You really believe that don’t you,” she says.

He starts a little, confirming her suspicion as he looks at her again, “Don’t you?” he asks.

The question now catches her off guard and she feels herself frown. He watches her face and there’s a heat that rises to her cheeks and she’s thankfully the low light shields it.

“I do,” she finally says. She finds she means it.

It takes all she has to not move closer to him. To not reach out and grab his hand just for that few seconds of comfort it will bring. She forces herself to not look at his lips, or the big scar on his shoulder. Or anywhere except for those green eyes that are staring back at her, and are maybe trying to do the same.

“Frey-” he goes to speak but that puts her in motion and she’s on her feet before anything else can be done.

“I should get back to camp. It is getting late,” she rushes out.

He blinks quickly but frustratingly there’s nothing in his body language that tells her his true thoughts. Years of imperial conscription and “royal living” she has to thank for that she thinks.

All he does now is nod, “Very well. I should like to stay here a little longer.”

His voice is as even keeled as ever, but there’s the faintest sound of disappointment, yet understanding, that leaves a pit in her stomach.

“I think that’s a good idea,” she answers, “Goodnight, Lord Hien.”

He smiles at the title, “Goodnight, Freyalin.”

[analexthatexists]

my moot- hear me out

Xela

Alex spelt backwards is such a pretty name

Side note- 🐦‍🔥

ranul heheheh

Also, thank you! :)

[bleachbleachbleach]

Hi! I was the one who sent the asks abt: shinji and momo, the burdock imagery (of which I got to see in ur latest fic, comment pending), one stray ask abt the bathroom systems in soul society and that one ask wayyy back abt my thoughts on hinamori & Hitsugaya, esp how both are within the Institution that is the Gotei (can’t wait to see the manga panel side to side of ur answer to that hehe no pressure tho don’t worry). After much thought, I decided to go off anon cuz of your encouragement. I’ve been on the bleach fandom around 2012/2013 and got back on it during the TYBW anime bleach renaissance and it has been refreshing to see fresh takes on the Canon from you and tumblr user troius! As you can tell from the theme of my asks, u can already tell who my blorbo is lmao. I’ve always had a soft spot for characters who aren’t conventionally “strong” (aka yelling Bankai every other episode) like Hinamori and Orihime & it definitely hit harder for me back then the way these girls were put thru the absolute RINGER in the narrative & in fandom discussion PHEWWW. As an adult whose bound to navigate her own bureaucratic Institution in a specific field, Hinamori’s story now resonates in a different way. In particular, I love how ur academy era fics have her using the institution as a means to soar towards opportunities hard to come by & to fulfil a genuine desire to do some good while doing so. Like it makes so much sense!! Ppl tend forget that she had to have had a burning ambition of her own in joining the academy—to the point of making it to the honors class—an ambition outside of Aizen. (This kinda links to my hc abt hinamori being a ravenclaw but that’s for another time). Anyways, before I go off tangent, hi! I’m Xela and I’m happy to openly discuss bleach (aka my fave workplace comedy) with u haha.

PS. Per my previous ask, when I meant “weird boundaries” between Aizen & momo I meant like how companies who screw u over almost always blur boundaries by going “we’re a family here!” To let u get ur guard down before they screw u over which tends to be common in Asian workplaces. I didn’t mean it in That context but I understand that bringing up their dynamic tends to revive that discourse so it’s inevitable.

Oh yay, hello hello, Xela! <333 It’s so nice to meet you! We first got into Bleach 2007-2008, but got back into it, and really really into it in 2020, to the extent that we were then compelled to make this blog in 2021. At the time we had no idea there was going to be a TYBW anime so that was serendipitous! (And the Hell Chapter, too?!)

It pleases me greatly that Hinamori is one of your blorbos. <33333 I love her so much, and she deserves all the love. I’m always excited to meet a Hinamori enjoyer. (And Orihime, too!)

Thank you so much for introducing yourself!

[brighteststar707]

I'm back with a writing question! Is there any fic of yours that you feel most attached to and why?

Omg I'm so excited to see these back! I've missed these questions dearly.

The obvious answer is Don't Say My Name. I have really fond memories of writing it and putting the whole thing together. It was one of the first times I've been so wholly consumed by a fic - not just the actual story but the writing techniques I was using. I was reading more than ever to study how to best portray the feelings Saeyoung was feeling. I read it just a few days ago for the first time in months and I still feel proud of it, and some of my favourite comments I have ever received are from this fic.

Also, fun to point out, it turned a year old yesterday!

A few more I'm quite attached to:

Philia and Caramel Chocolate - For the dialogue I wrote in both of them, I'm always so satisfied when it works out how I picture it.

Also, the newer fics I've written this year set in the canon timeline (To Disappear Under the Sun, All I've Ever Known and Daydreams) because they're the exact kind of thing I used to fantasize about before I started writing. I used to spend so long daydreaming about the moments between chatrooms that we weren't seeing, or even the backstory tidbits Cheritz fed us.

Ngl, I got carried away going through my masterlist while replying to this and you've helped me remember so many fics I haven't thought about in so long, so I have to thank you for that, Xela. I feel all warm and fuzzy now.

Your turn! Tell me about some of the fics you're most attached to! Please go into detail, I love hearing about how other people perceive their work.

[xelasrecords]

I'm here for the fanfic writer asks! I'd like to ask 🥺, 😈, 💖, ✅ and 💔! Yes, it's a lot, but I'm curious!

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

Jumin and V, but not in the way that you think (aka not because I love them). Sometimes, I use my 10+ year friendship with my best friend Madeleine as an inspiration for theirs. We talk a lot about how we never have enough time since 90% of our friendship is long distance, how odd that sometimes we do and think things telepathically (she could know when to ring me at the exact time I need her and vice versa), how it's almost intuitive to know what to say to each other and anticipate what the other will do.

The security in knowing that you're deeply loved by someone you love just as much is such a rare and precious feeling I think. I'm lucky enough to have her and I always try to depict that friendship is just as meaningful as a romantic relationship.

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

Honestly... no. I don't really think about whether the readers would like my fic as I'm writing. I only try to do what's best for the story, but I often think "oh this is gonna HURT" *punches air in delight* after I wrote a painful piece hehe.

💖 What made you start writing?

I just couldn't stop myself from not writing about my daydreams and ideas anymore! I also wished I could relate more to the MCs in the existing fics. There was quite a lot of shy, insecure and Cinderella-esque reader inserts back then and I couldn't see myself in them. I'm comfortable with myself, I have no problem being in the centre of attention when necessary, and I'm pretty straightforward in dating so I thought I could write that kind of character for people like me!

I remember there was a Jumin's reader who felt insecure when she saw a woman who never smudged her lipstick after eating, sat with a straight posture, had a good table etiquette, and dressed up for the occasion. I was like, "Wait, that's me! Why am I the story's conflict tho" Which led me to wonder how the other woman would be perceived if she was with Jumin, if it could be done without putting another woman down.

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

However messy the relationship is, there's always love underneath it all. Even in the fics where one falls out of love, they still treat the other with care and respect. I want to portray different types of healthy relationships, how sometimes what is healthy could still fall apart. And while I do enjoy exploring the dynamic of toxic relationships, I'm careful to paint them in a realistic light.

Oh and! Teasing as a mode of flirting. I think it's because I enjoy verbal sparring when I flirt to see if they can keep up with me, so that happens naturally in my fics.

💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?

I can't read my works from a pure reader stance, but from a writer stance, it's All That Is Lost. I wrote it with my own grief as the basis—it was something I needed to write about to process my feelings. I included personal tidbits that only I can catch to immortalise the memory of the person I was losing.

Fanfic Writer Ask

[juminies]

Hellooo 🛼🥑🧃🦋🦴

Xela! Thank you for asking! Sorry it took me a couple of days to get to this. I was just on the bus and remembered I hadn't finished my response hahah

ask game

🛼 -> describe your latest wip with five emojis

🛬😵‍💫🪄🔄❤️‍🩹

🥑 -> you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

Oh god I have no idea. Honestly Xela if for some reason I HAD to contact a mutual in this scenario you would probably be my first point of contact. I feel like you'd be good at forcing me to think logically about it? I have to be so real though I think I would simply hand myself in immediately

🧃 -> share some personal lore you never posted about before

I'm shortsighted and have been since I was 15 but for some reason everyone was convinced I was lying for a year when my eyesight started deteriorating. My vision is still getting worse at a similar rate and I was told it probably won't plateau for another couple of years. Shoutout to all the teachers I had in high school who would have to rearrange their seating plans to put me at the front of the room 🙇‍♀️

🦴 -> is there a piece of media that inspires your writing?

Outside of the media I write fanfiction about I don't think so! Though I'm sure I subconsciously take inspiration from all over the place :'-)

[insaneillusionist]

!oh oh oH !samtsirhC yrreM

Anon! Thanks for the ask!

Xela, why are you here?

[alex-unjust-vibing]

Someone has a crush on Xela.

I-I- They do? JUSTS! Of course he does! Oh the evil schemes I can concoct with such knowledge! I thank you supremely and sincerely for your generous information sharing.

[cocoanmelaninsims]

What are some words that are a big part of your oc’s vocabulary? How did they pick up on them?

I love this!!!

Well for Xela, She's my simself so words she uses often responds to things Sheldon says with phrases like "Very ___-ally".

Like they were watching movies, and Xela accidentally elbowed him, he's like "How could you" and she said "Very clumsily". This she picked up from Sheldon bc he says stuff like that alot. I think he got it from a movie. She has definitely picked up a lot of his vocab.

She also uses "I just wanna talk" when she absolutely wants to anything but talk lol. She picked this up in college, and she will literally use it in any and every context.

Xela *drops something* ...*looks in the mirror* "Why are you like this? I just wanna talk."

This ask definitely makes me want to show more of her actual personality in the posts. Thank you for this interesting ask.