#thank you for sending this tho! it was very well put together and supported by canon!

[lloydfrontera]

I think what annoys me the most about fans assassinating Arcos' character in order to woobify og!Lloyd is that, if you squint, there is a reasonable in text reason why og!Lloyd grew up to be such a shithead.

In the earlier chapters, the novel states 2 things. 1) That in TKOBAI after the Fronteras lost their land, they had to move in with an unnamed aquaintance. An aquainance that would go on to exploit Marbella's labor to the point of almost killing her. Which raises the question, do none of the Frontera's have any friends at all? Why wouldn't they take them in when an aquaintance would? And 2) That Arcos says that Lloyd squandered the money Arcos gave him with the "scoundrels you used to get on with." Arcos only gave him that money 2 years before Suho took over his body. And yet we never see nor hear from og!Lloyds "friends" at any point in the entire novel.

So what I think happened is that og!Lloyd, while naturally being prone to selfishness, addiction, and rowdiness, was not doomed to become the abusive bastard we see in canon. Instead he grew up as the most priveliged child in the middle of nowhere. The only other kids his age were probably commoners, so they were inaccessable due to the class devide. (Whether this was enforced by society or og!Lloyd himself, it could go either way). Julian was too young to make a good friend. And as everyone has speculated, he probably saw Javier as a direct threat to his place in the family.

So take this lonely and socially isolated boy, and give him friends that are the absolute worst influence on him. We've seen from Diego that falling in with the wrong crowd can turn even a nice kid into an absolute prick, so if this happened to og!Lloyd then I wouldn't be suprised.

I also think that his "friends" ditched him as soon as the Frontera's fell into debt. Which led to og!Lloyd doubling down on all of his worst tendancies, drinking more, getting more violent. Which is why Arcos' is only now having Javier babysit him, until the Suho wakes up in Lloyd's body.

Now in universe, this is probably because the original author of TKOBAI didn't bother to detail any meaningful relationships for the extras who die in the first couple chapers of the book. But now that these extras have become real people (in TGED), that lack of connection the Frontera's have with anyone outside their immediate family looks really depressing.

og lloyd has been ruined enough for me that i'm happy to believe he's just a shithead because... that's just how he was. no deeper explanation. some people are just shitty and there's no real reason for it.

but yeah! this is a pretty plausible reason! very supported by canon! i like it!

[thesupreme316]

hello!! hyd?

so it's a little weird but I was wondering which wrestlers would prefer a soft s/o and which would be drawn to a baddie (like a mtl). I like the elite (mainly Kenny) and Eddie Kingston, but any wrestler will be just fine! (no pressure tho hehe)

love your writing, it's so well thought and put together! thank you for sharing with us! 💖 have a good one~

1st....IM DOING GREAT NOW THAT YOU ASKED and 2nd THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING ME AS I APPRECIATE THE KIND WORDS

AEW Stars: MTL to Date A Baddie or Softie (with explanations + diagram)

Pairings: Eddie Kingston x Reader, Ricky Starks x Reader, Hook x Reader, Darius Martin x Reader, Dante Martin x Reader, Daniel Garcia x Reader, Adam Page x Reader, Kenny Omega x Reader, Wardlow x Reader

Word Count: 684

Supreme Speaks: for some reason my shit hasnt been uploading this entire week so hopefully this uploads...thank to anon for this request and the kind words (i hope you are doing well and sorry for being late)...this was really fun to do so if you have any requests like this, send em in...i hope you are doing well and please remember you are loved and appreciated

Warnings: not accurate (i constantly had to change the order), grammarly not working so this is barely proofread, a lot of pictures, GIFS ARENT MINE

Taglist: @wwenhlimagines @hooks-martin @hookerforhook @eddie-kingstons-wifey @triscillal @cassiesworldsworld @sheinthatfandom

Baddies

Ricky Starks

Hook

Daniel Garcia

Eddie Kingston

Top Flight (Darius and Dante Martin)

Kenny Omega

Wardlow

Adam Page

Softies

Ricky Starks

This MAN would be enamored with a woman who is bold. I’m talking about bold personality, bold makeup, bold outfits, etc. This man steps out all the time with bold outfits and pics (have you seen his ass? Literally, have you seen his ass?) He would need a partner who can match his style, just simply for aesthetic reasons. For personality, again I would see him being attracted to someone who is fierce and who goes head to head in a battle of words (or flirty banter).

Hook

Do I need to explain? (We all saw the man at a strip club) I think because of the fact he is quiet (intimidating-ly quiet), he would love someone who speaks their mind more frequently than him. She would need to have the baddie mentality; for appearance, I’m sure he wouldn’t care, but I think he would lean towards baddie style/appearance. But I think that only because he would like for her to have the same style (like streetwear) as him.

Daniel Garcia

HAVE YALL SEEN THE MAN IN ISIAH’S VLOGS?? MANS BE GOING CRAZY. He would easily be attracted to someone with the Baddie aesthetic (crop tops, tight jeans, etc.). I think, like Ricky, something about a woman being very fierce and outgoing would just turn him on. I would also think they would need to go out as much as he does (to clubs and social gatherings) cause those are some of the things he considers to be fun. I would also think he would try to match outfits with you kind of like Ricky.

Eddie Kingston

This is one is a no-brainer (in my mind). I believe that Eddie is that person who wants his partner to have a “Baddie” mentality (independent, tough yet caring, comfortable with their skin, unapologetically themselves, and has a range of humor). Like he would have no problem with you being a “softie,” but I feel like he would bond better with someone who has a similar mindset as him. Bottom line, he just wants you to be comfortable.

Darius Martin/Dante Martin (Top Flight)

To me, they are the true neutrals for this request (please look at my diagram for a visual representation). I think they genuinely would not care about personality or appearances, their significant other’s comfort would be their primary concern/worry. But I see them being attracted to sweethearts because they are sweethearts (especially my man Darius). But again, I truly think they would be drawn to anybody (as long as the vibes are there mannnnn).

Kenny Omega

Two words; Kota Ibushi (That’s Kenny’s soulmate and I will not take any criticisms). That man looks so cute, yet has a killer mentality (and I think that is what Kota embodies) but also Kota is a big sweetheart. So to be honest, I see Kenny being a neutral person but with more favoritism on the softie side. Also, the man is a softie himself; Kenny is very kind and sweet.

Wardlow

THAT MAN IS TOO DAMN TALL- Hear me out, the man has a corruption kink (or omegaverse as he has compared himself to wolves….ARGUE WITH YOUR MOMMA). I genuinely see Wardlow being attracted to a person who is a sweetheart so that way he can experience a very nurturing and caring person. I think he is one of those people where it’s like opposites attract. Now, for appearance idk, it can go either way; he would just want the person to definitely be a soft person.

Adam Page

THIS MAN IS A SOUTHERN SWEETHEART, ALL THE WAY DOWN THE COWBOY BOOTS! I think he would definitely be attracted to a Southern belle. Adam would love to have a softie significant other because of the sheer aesthetic and he needs some genuine pure love and care (for all the shit he has been through). I would see him looking at his significant other as if they’re his escape from everything and just adore the shit outta them. (Pls protect this man)

[milfjuulpod]

A Trip To The Nurse

hello! this fic was not requested but i had the idea of the reader getting hurt and Melissa reacting so I ran with it, i’ll be getting back to requests tho so feel free to send! and thank you for all the support :))

warnings: very minor mention of a scrape/cut

Melissa was usually one of the first to arrive in the teacher’s lounge during lunch. Today was no different, she sat in her usual spot and watched the door. Watching the door during this time has become a new habit of hers, anxiously awaiting for you to walk in so she could shoot you a smile and immediately look down at her lunch. Not a lot of people made the south philly native nervous, but you did. She never knew what to say or how to act, almost like she was afraid you wouldn’t like her. Slowly but surely, everyone began walking into the shared space, everyone but you. By the time the room was (nearly) full, Janine asked about you. “So is she not coming today? I was hoping to chat with her about this show the two of us have been binging together.” Gregory, from the same table, answered. “Oh, yeah, no lunch today. I guess there was some sort of crafting accident right before the bell? I walked her students with mine to the lunch room and she ran off to see the nurse.

Melissa’s eyes shot up. She could feel the anxiety begin to settle as she started to think about what could’ve happened. Finally, she spoke up. “You think she’s still there now? The nurse’s?” Gregory nodded his head. Melissa stood up and started packing her lunch away. “Well I have to run back to my classroom for uh, some stuff, so I’ll go check on her. Thanks Gregory,” she stated as she was already walking out the door. Melissa practically ran through the halls to see what had happened to you. It couldn’t have been that bad, after all crafting in elementary school is a relatively safe activity, but she was worried about you. She couldn’t exactly place why she was so worried about you, but she couldn’t ignore it either.

You heard the clack of heels approach quickly towards the nurse’s door, catching your attention. Before you could react, a familiar red head was standing right beside you. “Oh Jesus, what did you do?” Melissa asked you. She sat on the edge of your bed and took your hand in hers, which was all bandaged up. “It’s so stupid,” you responded to her. She just stared at you, making a face as if to say ‘spit it out.’ Sighing, you spoke again. “A student of mine was running with a pair of scissors and I wasn’t exactly paying attention when I grabbed it from his hand,” You felt your cheeks heat up with embarrassment. It wasn’t exactly the “coolest” of injuries to have. Melissa just smiled and shook her head at you, relieved it wasn’t anything crazy after all. “Is it bad? You gotta go to the hospital or anything?” She asked you, turning your hand over in hers to look at the bandage. Her voice was so gentle, a slight change of pace for a Schemmenti. “No, no, it’s really more of a scratch than anything. I just didn’t want my kids to see so I had Gregory take them to lunch and I came straight here,” You left out how severely it hurt but, she didn’t need to know that.

Melissa let go of your hand and reached down to the floor to grab something. “Lucky for you I had extra carbonara from last night, here.” She said, handing you a tupperware and fork from her bag. You stretched out your legs and thanked her for the meal, eating in silence while she told you all about her students from that day.

-

That afternoon, the kids had finally left your classroom, and you were at your desk grading the worksheets from the day. A knock at your door took you out of your trance. To your surprise, it was Melissa again. “Hey you,” you said to her, putting down your pen and turning to face her. “Hey kiddo, you still gradin’?” She asked. Her hips swayed as she walked over to your desk and you tried desperately not to watch. After a deep breath, you responded. “Yeah, it’s not as easy when one of my hands is bandaged so tightly I can barely feel my fingers. I’m about to rip the damn thing off.” She rolled her eyes at you and crossed her arms in front of herself. “Oh don’t you dare. You’d be asking for an infection.” You smiled and shook turned back over to your desk. “I’m serious you know,” she grabbed the back of your chair to spin you back towards her. “And don’t turn away from me when I’m talking, okay sweetheart?” She asked with the most mischievous smirk on her face. Your mouth went dry and you had to blink a few times before realizing she was expecting an answer. You couldn’t remember any word in the English language it seemed, so you settled on nodding your head.

“Attagirl,” Melissa praised you, and began walking out the door. “Finish those papers if you must but then go home,” she stopped when she got to the door frame and turned back to look at you. “I mean it,” she said, and walked out without another word. You were stunned, too stunned for that matter. But of course, after a few deep breaths, you did exactly as she asked.

[vwritesaus]

For ask game, 5., 7., 9. & 10. & 12. 🤍

~

hey lovely!! i assume this is for the procrastination ask game hehe thanks for sending them in ♡

5. ⚠️Which wip your most likely to finish or update next?

ahhh probably the final chapter of dear christopher! it's sitting there staring at me and begging to be finished. after that, i'm not sure which one will be next 🤔 there's plenty to choose from, that's for sure ahaha

7. 🖍Post Any sentence from your wip

okay given i've posted plenty of ch5 snippets already, i'm gonna take a leap and give you another sneak peek into a future scene in timeless ✨

      ‘Hi, Alastair. Alright?’       ‘Yeah. You?’       Thomas smiles sheepishly at him. ‘Ahh, I’ve got a bit of a headache, but I’m alright otherwise.’       Alastair snorts and says dryly, ‘That’s what you get for drinking so quickly.’       ‘I was nervous!’ Thomas cries as he drops into the chair next to Alastair and dumps his bag by his feet. Alastair would panic about the fact that this is the first time they’ve ever sat together like this but Thomas continues with, ‘I’m not a party type, and I’m not fond of crowds, so when I’m in situations like that with a bunch of strangers, I… well, I either spend my time eating like a horse or drinking whatever gets put into my hands.’       ‘That’s very dangerous,’ Alastair scolds. Then he smiles. ‘You’re an introvert?’       Wincing, Thomas mutters, ‘Yeah… sort of.’

yes i'm aware it's more than a sentence, and so what?

9. 🤔What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?

oh geez, there's a ton of those! thomastair in their thirties and forties, more missing scene fics from canon, and i'd like to dip my toes into writing other ships/characters too like herondaisy, arianna and gracetopher - not to mention our TID gang (ESPECIALLY sophideon, my beloveds ♡). oh and more aus of course, because i wouldn't be living up to my username if i didn't want to write those ahaha

10. 🤡How many Wips are you actively working on?

the clown emoji is so fitting here 😭 guys, you don't understand. it's not only tsc/tlh i have wips for. it's hq!! ones too. i don't even want to count how many of those i've got well over 40, give or take, probably more. that's just me guessing tho.

as for tsc/tlh, i've got 12 going at the moment + 1 i haven't started writing yet send help

12. ❤️Not a question, just a second kudos to send.

you are so sweet !!! thank you thank you thank you for all your support ;;;; it means so much ♡

writers to procrastinate working on your WIP(s) asks

[chevvy-yates]

WIP WEDNESDAY WHENEVER

got tagged by @kdval thank you!

tagging: @gloryride, @elvenbeard, @pinkyjulien, @kittenchrissy, @dreamskug, @wraithsoutlaws, @imaginarycyberpunk2023, @alphanight-vp, @morganlefaye79, @peaches-n-screem, @wanderingaldecaldo, @genocidalfetus, @jaymber, @humberg, @therealnightcity, @streetkid-named-desire, @sammysilverdyne, @aggravateddurian, and @breezypunk as always, no pressure – also feel free to ignore.

—

GENERAL:

My gaming laptop is still on vacation sleeping since mid November '23 so I have still nothing new except the last remaining vp I want to post but hesitate for own reasons to click the 'post' button. It's a never ending fight I have to do with myself here …

Each weekend I tell myself I will update, but I do not 'feel' it – it's complicated. Guess something needs to happen that requires me to update first. Nontheless, I did not sit around doing nothing. Used the time for writing, thinking, graphic design and selecting songs.

I managed to post Ryder's two favorite radio stations last weekend:

I'll link the post here again in case you missed it and have interest to listen to it. A like/follow is appreciated, a.k.a. Ryder dankt! 🖤

I know not many like this genre he (and I) listens to but maybe at least the Technoise FM finds a way into someone's music heart. Music is very deeply connected to especially my boy Ryder but all of the boys as well (each their own style) and will show up even in the big story to support the written scenery/moments.

Speaking of the big story:

—

FANFICTION:

The story has a name now and will simply go by:

Cyberpunk 2078 – Pandemonium

I'm close to finish chapter 01: The Golden Demon of Kabuki of our (@nervouswizardcycle's and me) story. It needs a few vp pics to be redone and me to make a few adjustments and prepare the first post. Hopefully I get it done by the end of January.

QUESTION:

I don't know how many people might be interested in reading it but if you are, please leave me a comment in this post or send me a DM or contact me on Discord so I take note of it and will tag you once I start releasing chapters. It won't be weekly, neither monthly. I'm slow in writing and editing plus I do not do it alone as this story is still at first a role play between @nervouswizardcycle and me, I convert into better reading flow afterwards which takes a lot of time. So you won't receive notifications that often. But in this way you hopefully won't miss out on it when I post them.

HOW DOES IT LOOK?/WHERE CAN I READ IT?

I will not make a long text post here, neither put it on ao3 or any other fanfic site. Gonna make a picture post instead that adds maybe a little teaser text and then link it to an uploaded pdf that will be stored on my personal google drive. You can read it online or download and read whenever you like/find time! :3

WHAT IS IT ABOUT?

For those who do not know: It is set after the events of Cyberpunk 2077 and starts in January 2078. Arki, the main character, recovered from the game events (so he's V). All that happened in 2077 only set the ball for his story rolling so he's on his way to find out about his missing past. My boys who work together as a merc team (Vijay, Ryder, Hizumi in the beginning; Jay and Thyjs join later), happen to help Arki on his journey, he becomes a part of the team as well and together they find out things they never could have imagined and everything is connected. It might have the one or other flashback with Johnny in it as well as Arki used to be deeply connected with him and my boys two might get some. None of my boys is a V - even though Vijay goes with the name 'V' – and none of them knows the official npcs Arki has met except for: Jackie, Misty and Vic. They've heard (and maybe seen) of some famous names tho (e.g. Rogue, Kerry). It can happen we integrate a few other ocs that belong to friends/mutuals of us – either by just mentioning them, or they even might get their own appearance if managable to integrate – this is stil a tbd, tho and I will reach out and ask first ofc! I can definitely say @gloryride's Vanessa and Enzo will be mentioned/appear. Vanessa is part of V's and Ry's friend circle and their local fixer. She's also Ryder's neighbor in the Glen. Enzo is Jay's bf, so their names will definitely fall for sure. But as said I'll reach out and ask first if allowed and nothing is set in stone yet either as we are still at the start but have rough ideas that could be integrated.

BUT I ALREADY KNOW CHAPTER ONE AND TWO?!

There might be a few of you who remember the first versions of them, as about 1 1/2 years or so ago I posted them here as simple text posts but it was way shorter, less detailed. We've gone over some parts and it's definitely worth a new read now!

—

FURTHER PLANS/IDEAS?

too many to count, my list is neverending. I have not forgotten of my vp ideas but they are put on hold for a bit bc the story needs to be rolled out first or it will never happen.

I definitely want to redo the past looks of Ryder and Vijay (they will stay like they are, just a few details changed on them and their outfits) and add the ones of Jay and Thyjs as well.

And I want to focus on Jay's tattoos as they will change into the Japanese themed one done by Kala but I need to edit them a bit (thankfully it is allowed) with Glory's help so it fits to Jay. And hopefully we can solve the layer problem so his glowing tattoo still glows bc it is essential for the story xD

Alright, I'm done :)

[alienaiver]

Chapter 3: Collision [FINAL]

Chapter summary: You're traveling to the duchy where the root of the issues might be. The bond with your advisor deepens and truths are unconvered, in every sense of the word.

Warnings for this chapter: someone gets stabbed in this, and another get an arrow to the head so uh. warnings for that? theres also some in-fighting but its not like, dramatic overkill!

Wordcount: 12k [...hehe]

Chapter content: fluff, sfw, fantasy AU, royalty AU, MEDIUM!!! angst, genderneutral reader, poc and bodytype!friendly reader, no use of y/n, more ‘your majesty‘, im bullshitting my astrology knowledge i apologize to ppl who actually knows shit, happy ending, kissing is minor but THERE IS KISSING, THERES STABBING AND BLOOD HERE THO, descriptions of fights/battles but im not very sufficient in them so it  stays light LMFAO,

notes: i APOLOGIZE MY ASS OFF FOR THE DELAY. i got hit by an intense ass flu, so i could barely text normally the past week!! BUT HERE IT IS.... my god. this world. i have so much more information and world building that will never see the light of day. i wanted to still keep the focus on suga and reader, so i apologize if some of my world building has felt like it falls short now that its done. it was mostly just to show there was more, without diving deeper. i also have intricate backstories for everyone involved and love charts LMFAAAAAO. the economic history has been worked on as well even tho no economy is shown here LMFAO MY DUMBASS  DOING MATH. if youd like me to expand on other characters or other parts, i might be feeling up to it heheeh<33333 ENJOY!!! im gonna go treat myself to my friend’s ice cream in my freezer JFESKJFSK

ALSO in tryibg to fix the spaces between paragraphs, but tumblr's new psot editor is messing w me. so please bear w me! 🧡 (if youd like to avoid the spacing issue until im able to fix it, theres no issues in ao3! the link to the story is on the series masterlist!) ✨

previous ┋ series masterlist ┋ first chapter

Sugawara’s sitting in the servant’s kitchens, drinking ale with Sawamura and Azumane.

Or more truthfully put, Sawamura and Azumane are drinking ale. Sugawara’s fighting to stay awake and stay part of their current subject. They’re talking animatedly in front of him but he can’t for the life of him follow suit. You’re currently eating a leisurely lunch with Bokuto and his fiancé, Akaashi Keiji, in the gardens before they’re taking their leave tomorrow and travel back to the empire.

You’ve given Sugawara time off but he hardly knows how to pass such hours anymore. There’s always something to do – so when both Azumane and Sawamura was off as well, they all decided to eat lunch together.

“You need to work less, Suga.” Sawamura scolds, his hand pushing at Sugawara’s plate as to regain his attention. He brushes him off as he stifles a yawn, “thanks for the encouragement Daichi, but it’s just sleep that’s the issue, is all.”

Azumane frowns in concern but isn’t sure how to convince Sugawara either, “we never see you around anymore,” he tries and Sugawara smiles, “I appreciate your concern Asahi, however, to support my crown I will do what it takes.”

They both shake their heads and Sugawara sighs as he leans his head in his palm, “I like what I do, you know? It enriches me. When I look at them, all I see is the bright future that shines on Karasuno. They just need a push, is all.”

They nod in unison, “yeah, there’s something to agree on. They have the proper air around them, too.” Sawamura sighs as he crosses his arms, a satisfactory smile on his lips. Azumane smiles too as he takes a sip of his ale, “they’ve come so far. Nothing has brought me greater joy than supporting them through it all.”

Sugawara sends Azumane a beaming smile, “exactly! You spend just as much time with the crown as I do – so there’s no problem, right?”

They laugh and shake their heads at him, “there’s nothing we can say to make you change trajectory anyways, Suga. But please remember to rest.”

The talk branches off to different subjects – mainly Sawamura’s complaints about the new troublemakers in his personnel. They’re talented with weapons and hard-working, but the barracks has never been as chaotic as they are right now. It’s giving Sawamura new wrinkles to worry about.

Sugawara zones out of the conversation as he thinks back to late last night. He’d found you in the map room – the room that had unofficially become your meeting place – exhausted. The bags under your eyes were hardly possible to hide on top of the greying of your skin. After that afternoon where he’d helped you sleep some moons ago, there’d been no repeats and he wasn’t so arrogant to suggest his help himself to the crown. He might’ve even done it wrong for all he knows.

You’d sat with your head resting in your hands, looking pointedly at documents in front of you but Sugawara had a feeling you weren’t looking at anything of this world.

He’d been right.

You hadn’t registered his appearing and the moment he cleared his throat you’d jumped up from the chair with fear and panic in your widened eyes. His arms had shot up to show he meant no harm and as you’d registered his face, you’d become visibly calmer.

Sugawara had ended up going to the guard’s kitchens to grab a bowl of the hot porridge always freshly served for any guards on night duty and spoon-feeding it to you. He’s sure it had been awkward for you, even if you were the one who suggested that he did so, but for him it was an entirely different experience. He’d felt your breath on his hand when it came close to your face and he swore he had almost felt your heart beating, that’s how close he’d been.

He can’t possibly tell of this to Sawamura and Azumane – the teasing would be relentless.

Midday turns to late afternoon and as the sun is slowly setting behind the mountains, Sugawara is called upon by a maid. You’re in his study and require him to attend you.

When he reaches the door left ajar, he sneaks a peek before announcing himself. You’re standing by his window, your hand outreached towards the stained glass, admiring the light’s reflection onto your palm. the sun bounces off of you and leaves you in an ethereal glow. You remind him of the bright guiding star on the night sky.

This is when you’re the most beautiful, Sugawara thinks and holds his breath.

You retract your arm from the sun’s rays and drag your fingers over some of the books on his shelves. It’s the fictional section and he feels a touch of embarrassment at your possible scrutiny. He hears a low chuckle leave you as stop by a small row with a few children’s books. They’re worn out – mostly because he’s used them when telling stories and teaching children how to use letters, but also simply from age. They’re the first gift from his mentor and he holds them close in his heart.

To Sugawara’s surprise, you turn around and look directly at him. Then, you let out a surprised yelp when you see him. Your hand travels to your chest, “oh, I apologize Sugawara, I neither saw nor heard you.” you laugh and he shakes his head and bows lightly, “no the fault is mine, your majesty. I apologize for startling you.”

You laugh it off and sit yourself down by his desk, “the lunch with Bokuto went well, I take it?” he asks as he rounds the armchair to sit down, keeping his gaze on you. You hum out a reply as you settle better into his chair, dragging your open palms over his desk, “I’ll miss him and Akaashi when they leave. You’re joining us for supper, correct? It won’t be for the full court, for the sake of privacy.” Sugawara raises his eyebrows but keeps his stare level, “pardon?” he asks and you chuckle, “I’d like you to be there. The chefs are making your favorite.”

His favorite?

The chefs – who cook for the royal court – is making his favorite meal from his hometown? A nervous laugh escapes him, “your majesty, are you serving spiced tofu to your royal visitors?”

A smile as mischievous as your personality graces your features as you nod, “I’m sure Bokuto and Akaashi will enjoy it as well! And I’m curious about it too. It’s been on my mind since you told me about it.”

Maybe he shouldn’t have, he thinks for a short panicked moment.

He’s not sure how highly spiced the chefs will prepare it – hopes it won’t be – but he can’t be certain. His dream isn’t to offend the royal tastebuds of his crown and other royal entities. You bark out a laugh, one that comes deep within your stomach and sound off of the room, “you seem perplexed, Sugawara.”

Sugawara nods, “do you enjoy spiced food, your majesty?”

You smile, big and proud, “I can take anything.”

You couldn’t.

Since you’d been so wise to ask the chefs to create it as true to its original form, the spice level had been nothing to scoff at. In your defense, Sugawara thinks you’re holding out really well, considering.

Bokuto’s handling it worse than you, constantly scarfing down the offered milk while Akaashi enjoys it in silence. Sugawara’s not sure whether or not that’s positive, but decides to take it as a win either way. The dinner drags on with the minstrel playing for them struggling to keep a neutral face. Sugawara’s not sure telling Azumane and Sawamura about this spectacle in front of him would count as treason against the crown.

“You’re in love with them, aren’t you?”

Sugawara’s chokes on his own spit at Akaashi’s blunt question during the final evening walk of the gardens. It’s become a habit during their stay, and you and Bokuto are currently walking further ahead, opting for conversational privacy for a few short moments. Sugawara hadn’t expected Akaashi to speak much to him, let alone confront him like this. Akaashi smiles and looks up at the sky, “the night sky’s so beautiful out here. It reminds me of the place where Bokuto proposed to me.”

Sugawara nods, confusion evident on his face, “that does indeed sound romantic, your majesty.”

Akaashi nods his head towards you, “they like the stars too, don’t they? You should take advantage of that knowledge.”

Before Sugawara can ask him to elaborate, Bokuto calls on them both and he gives Sugawara a court smile, “I think the chances align in your favor, dear advisor.” And with that, he walks up to Bokuto and kisses him on the cheek.

It takes Sugawara a few short moments to restart his mind, being called out of his stupor by you, asking if he’d like to retreat for the night. There’s a question for concern hidden in the syllables and the gentleness of your gaze that makes his palms sweat.

                                                          ///    

Bokuto and Akaashi departs your kingdom without further incident, and Sugawara feels like he can finally relax in several days. The moment Bokuto and his entourage has left the courtyard, Sugawara notices how your shoulders slump slightly as well. It must’ve been more draining for you than he can even imagine. While you and Bokuto are on much more even ground, he’s sure the need to pose correctly still lingers at all times.

“Sugawara, what does the court say about my marriage opportunities?”

He tries to keep his face as neutral as possible, to hide the surprise from the sudden question in the middle of your lunch in the map room. You haven’t been in here for longer than small moments while Bokuto had been visiting, so it’s nice to finally sit in here again, just the two of you. To gain a moment where he can gather himself, Sugawara takes a bite of his bread and hums, signaling that he needs to finish chewing. You wait patiently with a neutral expression.

He then brushes his palms against each other to get rid of any loose breadcrumbs, “there currently aren’t any official suitors, if that’s what you’re asking.”

You smile and take a sip of your tea, placing it down gently, “my question pertained more in regard to our laws. With whom can I marry? What are my restrictions?”

Sugawara swallows thickly again, letting his mind stay close to simple facts and not emotions, “well there’s quite a bit of history there. In the olden days, the crown was allowed to appoint anyone – although most of the weddings still related mostly to those of royal blood, your great-great-grandmother married a commoner – to which her son was so enraged that the bloodline was sullied,” you both make a grimace at this part of the story, “that he forbade such matrimonies when he ascended the throne.”

You sigh and deflate down into the chair, “what an unsettling man.” Sugawara nods in agreement and gently folds his napkin over the plate to signal that he finished eating, “a lot of laws were created during his reign that most don’t agree with.”

”I can’t imagine he was very popular.”

Sugawara tuts at you, “now, now, your majesty. You mustn’t speak ill of the dead.”

You sigh and give him a look – one that signals that it may not matter as much to you. Sugawara then clears his throat and with a voice pitched higher than he’d have liked, asks, “a-anyways, what brought this on, your majesty? If I may be so presumptuous to ask.”

You tense up suddenly, clearing your own throat and hastily gathering your cutlery on your plate, clearing your throat a second time before you answer, “oh! Oh, well. Akaashi’s a commoner and it just… it got me thinking, you know?” your hand travels to the back of your neck to scratch while you let out a soft laugh. Sugawara smiles gently at you, happy to hear you might’ve found someone – even if he thinks you should focus on your duties for an extended period of time before marrying (that’s what he tells himself is the reason, at least, when he’s back in his own sleeping chambers that night). You don’t bring up the subject again, and Sugawara tells himself he shouldn’t pry.

                                                          ///    

Sawamura walks around the map room, his armor newly polished and shiny. You’re sitting upright in a chair with Sugawara standing next to you, arms on his back. Azumane’s there too, sitting on a stool to the right of the table. Sawamura’s waiting for his underlings to arrive, his eyebrows getting more and more furrowed with every moment they’re leaving him waiting. The mood is tense in the room and you’re afraid of making small-talk – you can’t stifle the yawn that threatens to spill and look at Azumane, who you inevitably infect with the need as well. He gives you a reassuring smile and just then you hear the sounds of someone yelling as the sound of their armor indicates that they’re running in your direction.

Sawamura hurries to the door and lets out a hushed but no less powerful, “hey!” which makes Hinata and Kageyama halt in their movements. He ushers them inside and sigh deeply, “your behavior could cost a life on a battlefield,” he scolds and you hurry to get up with a kind smile, “luckily it wasn’t on the battlefield, Sawamura, let us excuse this honest blunder and get started, shall we?” you send Hinata and Kageyama a look that you hope shows them you won’t bail them out of a scolding a second time.

It’s past 3AM and the moon’s high in the sky. You’ve all rendezvoused in the map room to plan what you hope will stay a secret plan until you’ve left the keep in a few days.

The information that Bokuto offered you has meant tremendously in the investigation and yesterday you finally convinced Sugawara to let you go with them as they’re traveling to the Hiashi duchy to figure it all out once for and for all. There are gaps in the knowledge that the kingdom pertains and what seems to be the actual reality.

You’d like the arrival to the duchy to be as quiet as possible, gaining momentum before a possible uprising will occur if the news reach them before their arrival. Sawamura originally wanted two other guards with him, more seasoned ones he knows and trusts well, but Hinata is from the area that you’re going to, and Sugawara convinced Sawamura of the importance of someone they already trust as a local.

Sawamura goes over your travel route, of the places and areas where you’ll be resting. There’ll be tent-sleeping and as little contact to the people of the kingdom as possible. Your face is already known and he won’t risk this information breaching containment. His guards are well underway packing all of your needs and supplies – you will all travel as light as possible, meaning everyone will have to carry their weight. As he says this, he gives you an apologetic look that makes you snort out loud, “I am fully capable, sir. There shan’t be any complaints from my shoulders.”

You miss the proud gleam from your advisor as Azumane reaches for your shoulder to give it a reassuring squeeze.

The plan is simple, really. For you, it feels like an adventurous and exciting quest but you know, based on Sawamura’s tight demeanor, that there’ll be dangers lurking. He wouldn’t bring in so many neutral guards to travel in the radius around you if it wasn’t – not to mention his loud protests when you demanded to join him.

Sugawara had to calm him down after that and it wasn’t until that moment you realized the weight you’ve put on his shoulders by joining this mission – he’d already lost your father to a faceless enemy. One he’s hopefully going to face again if the outcome of this hunt goes right. What if he isn’t strong enough to protect you as well?

                                                          ///    

It turns out there wasn’t much for him to worry about, as you’re at the end of the first week of traveling with no issues. The fears Sawamura conjured in all of your minds on the night you left seems so far away now, with the quiet travels you’ve experienced. You’re in one of the middle duchies, Kogeno, and the weather tonight is clear and fresh. Spring is nearing and the tips of the mountains aren’t all white anymore.

Yesterday, Sugawara showed you one of the spring flowers in bloom. Kageyama accidentally trampled it down with the mule shortly after.

You’ve taken a liking to the night shifts. You’re traveling with two tents, one for you and one for the rest of them – you’ve tried protesting this multiple times, seeing no need to carry both when there’d be room for you in theirs. None of them has accepted that, though, fiercely arguing about your title as crown and theirs as commoners. You aren’t sure how to tell them it’s lonely without sounding too much like a child. Azumane sometimes comes in and holds your hand, but you know he leaves your tent shortly after you’ve dozed off.

Night shifts are less lonely since no one takes them alone. You’ve gotten closer to Hinata, learning about his hometown and his dream of becoming a knight. How no one believed him and he was ridiculed for such a dream due to his short stature. He’d proudly puffed out his chest the night you’d told him that you’d appoint him a title after the travels were over, “I’ll even send home an official letter to your family.” You’d added with a wink, and his eyes had turned bigger than you thought possible.

The day after, Sugawara had scolded you that you mustn’t make such promises to such a young guard. You’d dismissed him.

Tonight, you and Sugawara has the shift together. You take a sip of your tea and sigh, “it sure is quaint out here,” you muse and Sugawara chuckles, “you seem to have fallen quite in love with the countryside.”

You look at him longingly and smile, “well, it’s quite the view.”

He doesn’t notice how your gaze lingers on him and just smiles into the distance, “it is. I haven’t ever been this far south.”

You wrap yourself up more in the blanket that Sugawara draped over you earlier, when your watch started. You then gather the courage to ask him, “are you happy with your work?”

You’re not sure if he turns his head to look at you or not, your eyes fixated on a rock further ahead in your line of vision, afraid that his answer might not be what you’re looking for. You spent so many years admiring the relationship between your father and his advisor, counting down the days until you’d be the one bound in an oath like that. You’re not sure it is what you expected.

You’re not sure you’re supposed to look at his lips so much.

Sugawara sighs and stretches his arms, “it sure is work, your majesty.”

It takes a moment for you to register his joke, to understand that he’s making fun of you, your expression not as schooled as you’d like it to be. You kick his shin and he chuckles before taking a sip of his own tea. It’s elfbark, harvested a few days prior when he took you foraging – he’d even held your hand as you went over a creek.

“There’s no greater thing for me to do, your majesty. I told you, remember? That I dreamt of grandness, to help the Karasuno Kingdom reclaim its former glory before the Third Age.”

You hum out a reply and look into the fire in front of you, “do you think I shall be able to achieve that? Continue my father’s work?”

Sugawara puts down his cup and leans closer to you, his brown boot lightly touching yours. A way to make a connection. You notice the dirt on the leather. You think this may be the first time you’ve ever had boots this dirty outside of the keep. Sugawara points up at the night sky,

“You remind me of the guiding star, your majesty. Your glow is magnificent and empowering, you’ll lead this country to greatness. Do you not trust the Farseers?”

You huff out a laugh, trying to hide the flustered expression on your face by looking back at the tents, avoiding his intense gaze, “it is not that I do not trust them, Sugawara, but being called the ‘Bringer of Serenity’ feels like a title meant for someone else.” you admit, for the first time out loud to anyone ever since the premonition was brought to you by the Farseer clan when you were just short of 14. You’re not sure when you started to feel like an impostor. It’s been a while since those thoughts journeyed your mind last.

You haven’t had such thoughts since Sugawara came into your life.

“You’re my earth, Sugawara.”

You blurt it out before you can stop yourself – before you can think through the heaviness of the words. Spiraling in your mind, you don’t notice the way Sugawara’s breath hitches or the way his eyes widen, his mouth hanging open. There’s a silence stretching between you until Sugawara manages to close his mouth and bite his lip.

“Pardon, your majesty?”

You can’t retract it now – you might as well be honest. Didn’t your father always tell you to never hide any parts of yourself for your advisor?

You heave in a big breath, “you ground me. I may be a star to you, up in the sky where nothing can reach me. But I get to admire you, look at you. To be reminded of who I’m shining for. A constant reassurance that you’ll always be there.”

Sugawara doesn’t reply to you immediately and you cough into your sleeve to hide your face, not able to look him in the eye just yet.

As the silence stretches out you whine and give in and look up at him. Sugawara’s simply looking at you with the warm smile that makes your insides melt. If it weren’t for the darkness of the night, you’d know that his lash line is wet, but he gets to keep that information to himself. You raise an eyebrow, “’cause you will always be here…. Right?”

His warm and affectionate smile turns into a face splitting grin, the gooey mess in your stomach suddenly sprouting wings and flying rapidly, desperately around inside you, “of course, your majesty.”

A few more days pass in peace, the setting up of tents your biggest worry. There are two mules with you, ones that Kageyama and Hinata takes care of. It’s not until you’re at the borders between Kogeno and Hiashi that trouble arise. There’re scouts positioned in a two-and-a-half-mile radius traveling alongside you, even if you’d insisted there was no need. Sawamura hadn’t budged on the subject and the hardened look he’d given you made you shrink in on yourself, remembering the burden you’ve put on him.

Some scouts didn’t report back to Sawamura and some went missing. Sawamura’s sitting by the fire with Sugawara, a tense silence draped over them. “I think it’d be safer to return with the crown.” Sawamura says, his eyebrows furrowed. Sugawara hums, “I’m not sure they’ll do that. They’re just as determined as you are, if not more.”

Sawamura heaves a big sigh as he straightens his back, lifts his arms above his head and gain a satisfying pop of joints. Sugawara scrunches his nose up at the noise – he’ll never be one to enjoy that sound.

“Won’t they listen to you?”

Sugawara scoffs out a laugh as he takes a sip of his mug of ale, “as capable as they recognize me to be, if their heart is set on something, none of my academic words will matter.”

You’re all out in the woods with no one around you, so everyone lets their guard down. There’s quiet, only the sounds of critters. Sawamura flinches a few times but Sugawara doesn’t notice.

The mules, which are tied up next to your tent, start whinnying and moving restlessly, and that’s when Sugawara notices.

There’s a fire at the side of your tent.

He flies up, his mug thrown to the ground as he runs towards the entrance, glad to see the fire’s still small. “Daichi!” he calls as he hurls open the latch of the cotton door. Sawamura yells in the distance and out of his peripheral vision he sees Kageyama and Hinata jump out of their tent.

You’re asleep. He flies to his knees in front of your bedding, “your majesty!” he calls and you open your eyes, confused and disoriented, “we have to get out!” is all Sugawara says before he pulls you against him and out of the tent. You both land on the ground outside, coughing.

There are other people now. Sugawara belatedly hears the clashing of swords, commands and running. It takes him a moment to orient himself, shielding you underneath him on the ground. You start to claw at his arms, “I can fight too!” you yell, and he hushes you, “we’re not sure what our enemy is here,” he half-whispers as he makes a headcount. He’s not sure if they’ve noticed you’re out of your tent, alive. You grab on to the ground underneath you and manage to crawl free of Sugawara’s grasp, running to your sword placed by the supplies, ready to grab and defend with if needed.

There’s more yelling, and you manage to land a hit on someone using an axe. Commands of killing the crown are shouted all around you and Sawamura’s back hits yours, “your majesty, please escape.” He says and you let out a hysterical scoff, “I’m not”- you land a hit on the hip of the enemy in front of you- “leaving you all behind!” you finish, shouting as you kick the person away. They fall to the ground, weapon lost on the way down. The fire from your tent lights up the place in an almost magnificent glow.

Someone shouts something about daggers, you think it might be Hinata. You turn your head, and then you see it.

The dagger hurled toward you makes your eyes widen in fear, freezing you into place. You want to dodge – knows how to, yet you’re unable. You hear the shouting of your men from all around you, amplified by the sound of weapons continually clashing. You’re able to filter out Sugawara’s voice in all the noise as he calls your name – your name. It’s the first time you hear him use it and you almost want to scoff at how the mind processes all of this in such short moments. This must be what it feels like to know you’ll die. An image of your father appears in your mind.

And then you’re roughly pushed to the ground, exclaiming a groan at the impact with another human, hearing his cry into your shoulder as you both crash onto the ground. All sounds are now muffled and you feel intensely the pressure on your ribs from the weight of the other, the pebbles digging into your hip from the ground and then, then you feel a warm liquid trickle down over your collarbone and jaw. You briefly wonder if it’s yours but can, in those short seconds, locate no penetrated part of you that’d make you bleed, heaving in a deep breath filled with the dust of the ground.

Your eyes travel to the tuft of grey hair tickling your cheek and it’s then the bubble that had closed your ears pop sharply, making every sound all too loud and all too much again. On top of you, Sugawara is groaning in pain before he rolls off to the ground next to you, apologizing in a strained voice for getting blood on you.

The dagger, meant for your heart, is lodged into his shoulder and he’s bent awkwardly in an attempt to hide it from you with his left arm. You desperately pull his other arm away to assess the damage and there’s more than just one scolding going through your mind as you see how much blood is running down over his arm and chest, though no constructive words are able to pass your lips, only panicked one-syllable words. Sugawara’s already heavily damaged, not one used to fighting like this. There’s already bruising forming on his face, his brow split and bleeding. He’s groaning in obvious agony.

Words are being shouted around you and one repeats itself continuously, “run, your majesty!”

It’s not a demand, it’s a plead. Sawamura’s voice sounds desperate and coarse as he fights off another attacker with his sword. The meaning behind the words has changed since he started shouting them at the beginning of the ambush and for the first time since drawing out your sword, you decide to heed his words. You send him a determined nod and his gratitude gives him new power to charge an enemy.

“I’m sorry, Koushi, please hold on,” you whisper and Sugawara starts whining and trashing as you try to carry him off of the ground. His voice is garbled as the four words departs him, “leave me. Hide.”

You laugh, almost hysterically as you get his arm over your shoulders, “you can make this easier for me or not, I won’t leave you.”

The fear of losing Sugawara gives you new strength and while limping on your right leg, you manage to carry the both of you into the nearby bushes off of the road. You have half a mind to look back and check if anyone’s following you, but it’ll slow you down to turn your head, so you decide to trust Sawamura and his men. You know more arrived shortly after the ambush, the back-up guards Sawamura has had stationed in a radius around you ever since you left Karasu Keep. You’re not sure how many successfully fell to the ground up until this point, but hope you’ve outnumbered them by now.

The shouting becomes quieter, the throbbing of your head becoming louder. Out here there’s no light, the bushes and trees blocking off the light from the fire in the camp. Blearily, you locate a bigger bush and decides to push yourself and Sugawara inside of it to hide. He groans loudly at the impact, and as you crawl in next to him, you realize it’s a hawthorn bush. You roll your eyes; it’ll have to do.

You feel the thorns digging into your exposed skin as you try to get on your knees and pull Sugawara’s upper body to your lap gently, trying not to make the damage worse. Judging by his groans and whines, you’re not doing a very good job at it. You feel after the wound and hiss when you realize it’s still bleeding. You’re afraid to pull out the dagger, fearing it’ll make it worse. You’re also afraid it might be poisoned – would these attackers rely on simple luck that it’d pierce either your head or your heart? A dagger to the arm or leg isn’t necessarily fatal.

You apologize to Sugawara in bated breaths as you try to get a grip of your shirt’s side, ripping off as much fabric as you’re able, all the way to your back, where it’s hard to reach. You then lift his arm to wrap it around.

“Remove”-Sugawara coughs and curls in on himself – “the dagger.” He finished and you whine at his command, “what if you’ll bleed more?” and he wheezes out a laugh, “I’m bleeding either way, aren’t I?”

You want to punch him, but decide to do as he says, “here, bite down on this. I don’t want them to hear us,” you rip off the fabric of your sleeve and he bites down onto it, “I’m not sure if I’m supposed to do it quickly or slowly,” you admit and he groans. You apologize again, “I’ll do it quickly, in one”- you put your hands around the handle – “two… and three!”

Sugawara passes out after that.

                                                          ///    

Sugawara’s eyes are heavy as he tries to open them, coated with blood and tears. He hears Sawamura calling out, “Suga! Are you here? Your majesty!” and as he manages to open his right eye, is immediately blinded by the bright light coming in through the branches he’s surrounded by. He feels a weight on top of him and feels arms wrapped tightly around him, almost caging him in. He hears your soft breathing and sees you asleep on top of him.

Your face, beautiful and kind is layered in caked blood and dirt, your lip swollen. His name is called again and as he opens his mouth to reply, he realizes how dry and big his tongue feels. He tries to lick his lips, gather saliva but coughs instead, “in… here,” he manages to croak out but it’s barely even a whisper, his voice strained and hoarser than he’s tried before. He takes in a deep breath, “Daichi!”

Footsteps near them in a fast pace, “bushes,” he manages to wheeze out and that’s when you steer over him, “Sugawara!” you plead as he coughs from the strain, and then Sawamura is standing next to the bushes, “we’ll help you out, don’t worry your majesty, Suga.”

Sugawara’s eyes fall shut again.

He wakes up more comfortable this time, wrapped in blankets and with a pillow underneath his head. He’s back by the camp, and everyone is gathered, in various stages of bruised and hurt – but alive.  

He sighs as he falls back onto the pillow, which makes Daichi look down at him, a gentle expression on his face, “you’re awake.”

Next to him, you’re stirring something together in a cup, blending them as you wait for the kettle to finish boiling – you’re preparing medicine, he realizes. You’re doing it meticulously and with your tongue sticking out in concentration.

Sawamura fills him in on what happened, “it’s the same men as the attack on the former crown,” he clears his throat and takes in a deep breath, “fewer this time. We managed to fight them off, but a few of them escaped – probably to report back to whoever’s behind this.”

You fill in the cup with the water, trying to pour it in the swirling motion that your father taught you, so that the medicine blends better. You haven’t spoken a word to Sugawara yet. He pouts, “that decides this. The crown’s going back.”

He’s never seen you turn your head so fast, “I am most definitely not!”

Sugawara tries to sit up but feel the strain it gives his body, wheezing out a cough. You instinctively reach out to help him, but recoil at the last minute as you see the hardened look he gives you, “there’s no discussion to be had about this. You’re going back to Karasu Keep where you’ll be safe – and alive!”

You scoff at him and get up, “who’s the hurt one here? I can walk and run just fine!” you yell, and everyone at the camp is holding their breath, shifting their gazes between the two of you. Sugawara groans out loud to make a point and sits up higher, “who says you’ll survive the nex-“

“I do! I’ll survive jus-!”

“There’s no heir!”

Everyone freezes. You look at Sugawara with a mixed gaze, surprise and … is it hurt he sees there? He looks pointedly at the ground as he sighs, “Karasuno is teetering on the edge as it is. Losing one crown to an assassination was a hard blow – but losing the next one too? You’re unmarried, you’re childless. Whose head will the crown fall upon? Someone with the kingdom’s interests at heart?”

You slump and almost stagger but stand your ground as much as you’re able. You look him directly into his eyes, and he swallows thickly at the emotions swirling so obviously there, “I’ll survive.” You grit it out, like it’s hard to speak, and he fears it might be for you. He knows his words have hurt you – but he’d rather have you hurt and alive. He’ll gladly become a villain in your mind to keep you in this world. He grits his teeth,

“Take Hinata and go back.”

You laugh and throw your arms in the air, “we’re almost there. Who says I won’t be attacked on the way home, then? Will I be safer with more guards or simply one? And we only have pack-mules and very little supplies. I’ll hardly survive the trip home without making it known that I left!”

Sawamura gets up then and gives Sugawara an apologetic look, “they’re right. It’s safer to keep them with us.”

“Daichi!”

Sawamura sends him a pleading look, begging for him to cooperate, “keeping the crown safe is my priority and responsibility. I cannot guarantee such protection if they’re to stray from my side.”

Sugawara puffs up his cheeks, “you wanted to send them home a few days ago!” he yells, his anger redirected to his best friend. Sawamura lets out an exasperated sigh, “the situation’s changed.”

Sugawara looks around. Azumane, Hinata and Kageyama are all avoiding his gaze. “You can’t be serious!” he yells before he falls back on the makeshift bed and turns to lie on his left side, his back turned to everyone. He has to squeeze his eyes shut to prevent tears from falling.

Kageyama’s standing by the mules, feeding them stray grass he’s found from the side of the road. You come up to him and stand in silence. You’re not sure how to talk to him, though you wish you could. His entire arm is brushed and bandaged and he’s limping just a little bit more than you are.

You sigh as you pet the side of the mule’s head. It leans happily towards you, enjoying the attention. “Should I go back?”

Kageyama whips his head so fast towards you that it surprises you. His face is as hard to read as ever before he pouts, “I’ve never wanted to follow a weak leader,” he gets out and you raise your eyebrows, awaiting his continuation. “I don’t think Suga meant it the way you took it.”

You nod as he bites the inside of his cheek, “I’ll always follow you, your majesty, and I believe you capable of making the right choices.”

There’s silence between you again, only the sounds of the mules’ hooves and breaths – it’s comfortable. Behind you, you can hear the movements and low talks of your other travel buddies. Azumane has clung to you since you came back and this is the first time you’re walking away from the make-shift seatings and he didn’t follow you.

“I think Suga simply wants you to survive, is all, your majesty.”

It’s your turn to bite the inside of the cheek at the statement.

Evening has arrived at your little camp and while everyone’s settled in a sort of comfortable gratitude about being alive and well, the tension between you and Sugawara is still pulled taut. Hinata is currently singing a few songs by the fire while Kageyama fills up the waterskins for tomorrow’s continued travels.

“Sugawara, a moment if you will.”

Sugawara puts the ladle back down into the pot of porridge with gracious speed compared to the damage of his injury before he straightens his back and replies to you, just as coldly as you had to him, “of course, your majesty. How may I assist you?”

Azumane and Sawamura can scarcely keep the smiles off of their faces at the display in front of them, entirely too childish and immature – not befitting of the crown and their advisor at all. Not to mention the way they’re all unceremoniously huddled under blankets around the fire, their ruler in the same, commoner survival gear as them. You look nothing like royalty after last night’s attack, so your speech mannerisms seem almost out of character. Sawamura’s just glad they brought a few extra uniforms with them since everything in your tent turned to ashes.

You pull out a map and beckon him closer. Sawamura doesn’t miss the way Sugawara rolls his eyes ever so slightly yet gets up from his crouched position to be by your side at your request. Your quarrel today is still heavy in the air and Azumane fears for the night shift the two of you are supposed to have at nightfall. He knows how you both can be stubborn and volatile and he’s not sure he’ll be able to sleep soundly.

Your talk remains civil as you go through the final stretch of your journey on the map, talking strategies. Sawamura altered the route earlier today to shake off possible attackers in case there’d been a mole in his scouting groups. He’d also sent one back to the keep requesting back up – he’s not sure they’ll get there in time, even if their travels won’t be on foot.

The night shift is entirely quiet. Sugawara’s stiff through the first few hours, waiting for you to yell at him, chide him, anything. But you stay silent, only occasionally getting up to fetch fresh water from the kettle by the fire. He thinks he’d rather want a scolding at this point.

You then gasp out loud and his fight or flight reacts immediately, his body tensing, ready to jump up at any given demand. He may be hurt, but he’s sure he’d still be able to defend you – at least until Sawamura woke up. He then looks to you, and your eyes are fixated on the sky above you. There’s a shimmer reflected in your eyes that makes his pose relax, the half-smile you’re adorning that makes him unclench his fists.

“There was a shooting star,” you explain and keep your gaze fixed up. Sugawara looks up at the immense horizon, the stars illuminating the pitch-black darkness. “Right there,” you point up even if the action is meaningless since your perspective is different from his, “right by Orion.”

That doesn’t help him, so he just stares up at the sky, “I think Cygnus is visible on the sky tonight as well.” You bite your underlip in concentration as your eyes flicker around and Sugawara finds himself looking more intently at you than at the heavens. A triumphant smile appears on your face, “yep, it’s right there north of the guiding star!” you say and Sugawara hangs his head low as he admits his biggest academic flaw to date, “I can’t navigate the stars.”

There’s silence from you and he finally gathers the courage to look up at you. The moment your eyes meet his apologetic ones, you can’t stop yourself from bursting out into a laugh. He seems genuinely sorry that he’s unable to locate a constellation and the blanket of tension between you dissipates immediately at his confession. You wipe a stray tear from your lash line as Sugawara pouts next to you, “it’s okay,” you manage to say between laughs as you start to quiet down again, “I can show you.”

You shuffle closer to Sugawara – closer than he thinks you’ve been before and he swallows thickly – and put your head by his shoulder. Sugawara holds his breath. You raise your arm to point, “do you see the bright star there? It’s Deneb, there’s three stars aligning with it horizontally,” you say and Sugawara thinks he knows where you’re talking about. You sigh before you continue, “the star directly next to Deneb, there’s stars that go vertically,” you point your finger a little higher slowly as you count, “one a little distance away and then,” you lick your lips subconsciously, “two, three and four.”

Sugawara’s getting cross-eyed by the closeness but wills his mind to focus entirely on your hand and the stars above. He sees the pattern you’re mentioning, “Cygnus means swan, right?” he asks and you nod. In nodding, your head touches his shoulder – you decide to lean into that with a sigh, “yeah, it’s the swan constellation. It means summer’s coming.”

Sugawara dares not move, lest you pull back from him. Only once has he felt your weight like this on him, and he never imagined himself lucky enough to experience it twice. He can feel your body temperature mingle with his own and when he exhales slowly, he can actually see his breath. He notices your slight shiver. It’s unseasonably cold for this time of year, “it’s the clear skies. There’s nothing to tie down the heat.” you say while stifling a yawn.

Did Sugawara speak out loud? He simply nods, unable to form the proper words he wants to articulate. All these years reading books and learning about the human mind and he can’t even hold a conversation with you. He wants to lean onto you as well, but he doesn’t.

You climb out of the tent bright and early, stretching your limbs. You enjoy sleeping in but admittedly sleeping next to three grown and snoring men made it easier to get up with the sun. Azumane greets you from the fireplace and hands you a cup of tea as you settle down.

Today, Hinata is leaving ahead of you to see if he can either gain information or trust. He’s from the duchy – even if he grew up on the borders of it, on the other side of the mountain, it might help that a local arrives. He’s preparing a packing mule for traveling together with Sawamura, trying to make it appear that he’s been traveling alone. You’re lucky he didn’t get visibly hurt during the assault.

When he’s packed and ready to leave, you approach him, “thank you, Hinata, for doing this,” you say with a gentle smile that makes Hinata tense up in excitement from your acknowledgement. He then salutes you, “of course, your majesty! I shall do my utmost to help.”

He sounds knightly and ready, if it weren’t for the rumbling of his stomach a few short moments after his declaration. He curls in on himself with an apology dripping from his mouth. You notice the signs in him as the signs you had back when you became Crown-in-Waiting. You bend down to lock eyes with him, “you’re going to do great, no matter the outcome.” You hope you give a sufficient enough smile as you rest a hand on his shoulder, “we’ll arrive after nightfall as well, so it won’t be long before we’re united again, okay?”

He inhales slowly, holds it, and while straightening his back, exhales slowly again. He seems more determined as he gives you a big smile, “thank you, your majesty.” he says as he gets ready to leave you.

After Hinata’s left, you’re all by the campfire, eating a small provisional breakfast. Kageyama’s trying to sleep a few hours before you leave after having the final part of the night shift. Sawamura scratches at his ever-growing beard and you smile, “it’s really grown out these days, huh.” You say and he laughs. One of those deep ones that rumbles from his stomach, “I admit I have forgotten to pack a proper looking glass and blade.”

You smile and take a bite out from the small bowl on your lap, “it suits you. Beards are very handsome.”

Next to you, Sugawara chokes on a piece of bread. With a worried look you turn to him, leaning in to see if he’s alright. You pat his back and he raises an arm, “I’m okay, your majesty,” he manages to wheeze out and you smile, “you have to be careful.”

Sugawara nods as he wipes off his mouth with his sleeve. He freezes when he feels the pad of your fingers against his cheek, “you haven’t grown out much hair,” you absentmindedly state, eyes locked on his lips, the valley of his cupids bow as you feel the softness of his skin. You’re pulled out of your daze by the roaring laughter around you. You look to Sawamura and Azumane who’s both wheezing out, Sawamura hitting his thigh too in order to control his laughter. Sugawara pouts and scolds them, “shut up you two!” he tries, but they hardly listen.

You laugh at the antics in front of you, “did I say something amiss?” you ask and Azumane heaves in a breath, “Suga’s never been able to grow a beard, it’s his insecurity, your majesty.”

“Hey!” Sugawara yells and your eyes trace back to him, he’s pointing at Azumane with his butter knife, “stop telling people about that!” he side-eyes you for a second and then, in a frustrated whisper adds, “especially them!” as if you wouldn’t be able to hear him.

Sawamura laughs, “when we were little, Suga drew a picture of us grown up, and he had this big beard on the drawing – so you can imagine his disappointment,” he jokes and you laugh. Sugawara mumbles out unintelligible yet clearly annoyed words.

“Yeah, in front of the castle, right?” Sawamura asks and Azumane confirms, “yeah, he drew it shortly before I left as my parting gift. I still have it in my chambers.”

You look around at the three men in front of you with slight confusion, “you grew up together?”

They all return your confused look, staring at you as if you’d just grown three heads and not simply asked an innocent question. Azumane smiles, “did I fail to mention so, your majesty? We’re all from the same hometown.”

You nod as you piece together the childhood stories you’ve gotten before from both Azumane and Sugawara. Like a painting receiving it’s finer lines, you start to visualize who was with them in the stories they’ve told. You raise a hand to your mouth as you bark out a laugh, “I didn’t realize! But I can see how it makes sense…”

You sigh, “…must be nice, to stay so close after so many years.”

They all nod, solemnly, and the rest of the breakfast is finished in silence. It’s comfortable, but there’s a fog around you that Sugawara can’t seem to see through. He’s not sure how to give you any reassuring words.

                                                          ///    

When you arrive at the outskirts of town, there’s quiet. You can see the light from the houses littering the scenery and nothing seems amiss. There’re still a few miles to the center of the town, so you stretch your arms over your head as you straighten your back. Sawamura is by your side instantly, “do you need a break, your majesty?” he asks and you smile at him as you shake your head, “I’m fine, Sawamura. Thank you, though.”

Sugawara and Kageyama are walking behind with the remaining mule and Azumane’s walking a few steps ahead. Sawamura paces his walking to yours, and a comfortable silence settles over you as you take in your surroundings.

You heave in a breath to gather courage and clench your fists at your sides, then you turn to Sawamura, “ho- “your voice is higher pitched than you’d like, so you steel yourself again, “how was Sugawara as a child?”

Sawamura looks at you, startled to begin with but loosens up with a sort of fatherly smile. He looks up at the sky as you continue walking side by side, “Suga? He’s not much different now, I’d say. He’s mischievous when he wants to be, but other than that he’s got a stout heart – he doesn’t sway easily.”

You nod, playing with your fingers to alleviate your own nervousness. Sawamura sighs, “he’s always there for the people he cares about. He picked a fight with some older guys when we were kids, because they picked on his brother.” Sawamura chuckles at the memory.

“He’s a romantic, too.” Sawamura adds and it sounds much like an afterthought to you, but if Sugawara had heard him say those words to you, he’d scolded him. You feel your pulse quicken from something other than the brisk pace you’re walking as you hurry to avert your eyes to the ground. You’re about to say something when you’re abruptly interrupted, “psst!”

You all turn your heads to the hedge you’re walking next to, Sawamura already holding onto the handle of his sword, ready to fight if necessary. It’s an elderly lady in a cloak looking directly at you. She’s so small that her head is barely above the hedge’s edge. “Who walks there?” Sawamura demands, all loud and imposing but she hurries to hush him, “quiet! Come in quickly, before everyone knows you’ve arrived.”

She motions for you all to come in through the gates to the modest house. Inside, there’s lights in one of the rooms and you can see someone else walking around.

“Daichi.” Sugawara says from behind you, his voice level and even. You can hear the coldness to it, his message clear that he does not trust this lady. You smile gently at her as she tries to make you hurry, “if they spot you there’ll be trouble, so please, your majesty.”

That makes all of you tense up and Sawamura hurries to drag out his sword, pointing it towards her. He asks you to stand back but you walk closer to the gate, and lower Sawamura’s sword with your hand as you pass him, “I believe we can trust her.”

You’re not sure why. You have no recollection of meeting this woman, but you feel safe when you lock eyes with her. She bows slightly and opens the gates for you, “the mule can grass behind the house, just hurry.”

When you’re inside, you’re seated by a table. Sawamura and Sugawara’s standing by the entrance with their arms crossed, not happy with your decision to come inside and they’re not afraid to make it known. Azumane’s sitting with you, profusely apologizing for your company’s manners. You’re all waiting in awkward silence for Kageyama to walk in through the door after securing the mule to a post.

There’s another woman humming as she’s preparing a kettle of water. You can’t determine her age, but she isn’t much younger than the other one. You faintly recognize the melody she’s humming, but you cannot place it. When you finally ask her where the melody is from, she chuckles as she answers you, “it’s my own. I sang it for my son when he was just a babe.” She hands you a steaming hot cup of tea and you bow to her as you hurry to thank her – both for the cup of tea but certainly also for the hospitality – even if the circumstances seem dubious to your traveling company.

The door from the gardens open and Kageyama treads in with the elderly lady in hand, helping her up the heightened steps. “Oh, your majesty, I’m so delighted you’ve been tended to,” the elderly lady exclaims happily, excusing herself as she walks past Sawamura and Sugawara, who both declined any refreshments.

“I believe an introduction’s in order.” She says nonchalantly, seating herself next to you, “I’m Takeda Airi,” she bows to you unceremoniously before she grabs one of the pastries from the center of the table. Both you and Sugawara perk up and take a look at each other, recognizing the name immediately.

She lets out a shrill laugh, “you two can’t be fooled, I take it.” She notices, and you smile sheepishly, “am I wrong to assume Takeda Ittetsu is a family member of yours?” you ask, putting down your cup on the table. Airi hands you a pastry without asking if you wanted any, and the other woman scolds her, “mother! Don’t force feed the crown!”

She waves her off, “Ittetsu told me that the crown loves sweet things. Which is why I had you baking!”

You can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation. You’d never known your tutoring scribe’s family history or ever imagined yourself in his family’s home. Airi seems special and almost familiar to you, now that you can take a better look at her. Her nose is rounded and flat, while her eyes are still big and all-seeing. When she catches you staring, you straighten your back. She smiles knowingly, “you’ve realized we’ve met before.” She states, and Sugawara walks over to stand by your side. You’re not sure of his intentions.

You’re about to ask her to make sense of this feeling in you when she claps her hands together, “we don’t have time for the past! Your majesty, you must leave.”

“Leave?” you exclaim, not able to hold back a grimace. She nods, “this duchy does not see you in a very good light. Your very life is in danger just by being here.”

Your throat feels dry but your mouth waters in anxiety. You try to gulp but feel unable to. Sugawara puts a hand on your shoulder, “with all due respect, we came to figure out why.”

Airi nods before giving Sugawara a grim look, “you have been doing a poor job, advisor. Letting your crown come so far into a lion’s den.” Everyone tenses, Sawamura and Kageyama take another battle stance at her comment. She then lets out another shrill laugh, “oh I don’t mean me, obviously! The town! The duchy!” she raises her arms to further her point, “the duke is not to be trusted.”

The other woman sighs, “mother, you’re confusing them,” she then turns to you all with a warm smile, “I’m Hina. Ittetsu’s mother.”

You take a bite of the pastry shoved in your hands earlier. She then sighs and look out the window, clenching her fists by her chest, “Duke Takashi killed your father.”

The air gets hard to breathe. It’s like there isn’t any air in the air you were breathing, your throat feeling tight; mouth numb. The ringing in your ears become distinctly louder and your blood feels heavy, rushing through you. In a far corner of your sense of self, you feel the hand on your shoulder tighten. You think the pastry in your hand might’ve fallen to the ground. The sweet aftertaste of cinnamon lingers on your tastebuds, suffocating you.

You register the raised voices around you, but none of the words gets processed. Your eyes are open but they’re looking inwards. There’s a burning wire of fire in your heart, ablaze and uncontrollable. You think you hear your father’s voice somewhere, repeating your name. As the voice gets clearer and clearer, the sound of your name gets more and more distorted.

You heave in a desperate breath as you’re pulled back to reality. Airi’s hand is touching yours, her ring cold on your skin. You recognize it immediately, the Black wings of the Crow crafted into a ring instead of a pin. You look at her with questioning eyes and she smiles gently, “one thing at a time, my dearest. Now, take a deep breath for me.”

She takes deep breaths to instruct you and you seem to follow them with ease. Sugawara tries to relax next to you, but he can’t deny the bizarreness of this entire situation. He holds his breath until yours is back under control.

Hina asks Sawamura and Kageyama to sit down as well as she starts explaining. Duke Takashi came into his dukedom shortly before the drought, known locally as the power-hungry, youngest son of the Takashi family. His older brother tragically died in a housefire shortly before ascending his duty and therefor Takashi stood to inherit it all.

There was a big change of staff when he entered his role, new rules bestowed upon the duchy.

“After the drought, he held an assembly to tell us of the kingdom’s decision of abandonment.”

Sugawara raises an eyebrow. No such decision was ever made – or even discussed. Hina smiles patiently, “you all looked confused. See, Duke Takashi is good at many things. Manipulating and isolating his duchy is undoubtedly his strongest suit.”

Airi scoffs and interrupts, “that snake.”

Hina nods, agreeing with her mother, “the treaty with Fukurodani Empire was still new at the time and he used it to his advantage. Made us believe that the crown was trying to give us up, abandon us.”

You suck in your teeth, fear gripping at your heart as you try to steady the beating. Hina continues, “your father did a lot of good things for the duchy during the crisis. He even came here, in this very kitchen, with food to help sustain us – and a lot of other homes.”

Airi sighs, “but time does as time does best. If it is not taken care of, it forgets. It leaves behind knowledge.”

“But what does that have to do with Duke Takashi?” Sugawara asks, though he thinks he might’ve pieced it together by now. He doesn’t like where it’s going.

Airi’s about to open her mouth and speak more when Hina hisses, “they’re here.”

You whip your head to the window and through the darkness of the outside, you make out a few torches and movement. More detailed it won’t become, so long as there’s light in the house.

“Hide, upstairs!” Airi says as she pulls you up from your chair with surprising strength. Sugawara grabs your hand and leads you first towards the stairs he noticed at the back of the hallway when they arrived. He hears the others are right behind the two of you.

You take a look back and see Airi smile gently at you, tapping her ring finger with her other hand. You know it means her allegiance lies with you, though fear still has a wholesome grip around your throat. You’re not sure what’s going to happen, but you know nothing must happen to her.

You’re huddled in the back with Azumane and Sugawara hovering over you, arms around you protectively, as Sawamura and Kageyama stand ready with weapons in case anyone will show up.

You hear the muffled noise of knocking on the door and Airi tiredly yelling she’s on her way when the knocking becomes more aggressive. You strain your eyes to listen to the words spoken but can only make out the hostility of the voice speaking, not the words. The voices raise and you hear something being thrown, which makes your body react before you can really think your actions through.

You jump up from your bent position, passing Sawamura and Kageyama before they can even react to your actions, jumping – and almost falling – down the stairs, a determined glare in your eyes. You see Airi on the floor next to the stool she’d been pushed towards and Hina crouched by her, holding up her head. Airi looks at you and yells out a “no!” but you only have eyes for the man who still has his arm raised from the push.

Duke Takashi.

When he sees you, a sinister grin appears on his face. He pulls back his arm and readjusts his sleeve, as if the wrinkles he’d gotten from his violence was more revolting than the action itself.

“Oh, your majesty, what brings you here? What a pleasant surprise.”

You scoff, “surprise?”

You hear the others hurry down the stairs to you but before they can round the corner, Takashi’s already jumped into action, pulling your back close to him with a knife to your throat. Involuntarily, you let out a whine from the impact as you try to scratch at his arms, kick his legs, anything.

But he doesn’t budge. He merely kicks at Airi as if your struggle was a daytime breeze.

“Get Airi and Hina away from here!” you choke out between labored breaths, and Sawamura orders Kageyama help them get up and behind them.

“Let them go, Duke Takashi and you shan’t be punished.”

Takashi laughs again as he starts walking backwards and out of the house with you in tow, “oh I don’t believe that at all, you simple knights have no honor left.”

Outside, a mob has gathered. It’s the people of the town, and they’re all making way for Takashi to hold you in the center, demanding their attention.

“Everyone! We have them in our grasp!” he starts, toying with the knife close to your throat, laughing triumphantly.

“Our plans had setbacks, sure, but now we can reclaim the full prize. There is simply no heir to take the throne and what will happen when they tragically pass due to a group of bandits? I, Duke Takashi, will of course lend my aid to the kingdom.”

Sugawara clenches his fists, “there’ll be no place for you on the throne!” he yells, and one of Takashi’s guardsmen takes a hold of him. “Let me go!” he yells, but it’s futile. His shoulder’s acting up and the fatigue from the other bruises that he’d hidden well from you, is catching up to him. He’s powerless. He sends Sawamura a pleading look, but his look is steeled entirely on you, sword raised as he tries to figure out what to do. How to get you back safe.

“Won’t there? You’re the advisor, Sugawara, so tell me. What happens if there’s no one to ascend the throne? Hm? That’s right, the dukes are put to a vote to become stewards of the kingdom.”

“As if they’d vote for you!” Sugawara spits back and the guard tightens his grip on Sugawara’s arms, making him kneel. You whine at seeing him being hurt.

“Oh, so you think I’ve been snoozing the past five or so years? You haven’t noticed the good relations I’ve been making with the other duchies? The aid I’ve provided them?”

Sugawara’s eyes widen. The lowered tax – Sugawara had assumed that Takashi had kept the money to himself instead of giving it to his duchy, that he’d hoarded wealth for his own gain – but the plot had been much bigger than Sugawara had caught on to. This was more than just stealing money from his own duchy.

It’s a coup d’état.

A carefully planned one at that.

You scratch at his arms and he groans, “stop moving, your majesty, I’ll finish this soon enough.” He says your title mockingly. You hear the sound of crows cawing somewhere in the distance.

“You stole your people’s money!” you manage to yell out as you kick his knee. Takashi yells out as he hits your head with the blunt end of the blade, making you disoriented.

The guard holding Sugawara tightly suddenly loosens his grip – not enough to be visible to anyone else, but certainly felt by Sugawara. Sugawara notices some of the guards looking around at each other, their angry and victorious faces going pale, confused, questioning.

Sugawara takes his chances, “you stole the much-needed money from a hurt duchy and redistributed it to other well-functioning duchies, didn’t you? The crown lowered the taxes to help the people here, but you didn’t lower their payments!”

More confusion, more questions.

Sawamura smiles confidently but with reprehension still as he quietly says, “these people are helping you on false pretenses, aren’t they? Do they know the truth?”

Takashi starts backing away more, tightening his grip on your throat. You try to resist, but he’s strong – and the knife is lodged so close, that you can feel the sting of the blade. Your head pounds, making your vision blurry. You feel blood tickle down your brow. You have to trust your men.

You detect panic in his voice as he frantically starts explaining to his men how they’d get in on his success, too. How he’d share the riches of the kingdom with them. One yells back, “there was riches! But you took them!”

“My daughter passed away because you said we couldn’t afford to pay the local doctor to stay in town!” another yells, anguished.

Words like worthy sacrifice, small evils needed and desperate attempts to convince them of his righteousness is thrown around, but he’s frantically grasping at straws now that he’s been exposed.

He pushes the blade enough to break skin. Sugawara calls your name again and you almost smile. You must be delirious from the pain because somehow you feel happy that he called your name again. You never thought you’d hear it again, much less this soon. He calls it with a hoarser voice and as the guard lets go of him, you can see he intends to run to you. Sawamura stops him with an arm and the yelling is now directed at him instead.

Sugawara can’t see what you can from your perspective on the other side of the hedge, and you know Sawamura’s taking a gamble based on his hearing only.

Takashi laughs manically, hysterically, shrill in your ear as he presses the knife, getting ready to slice. You try to mouth ‘it’s okay’ to Sugawara but it seems to make his anger rise even more.

Takashi raises the knife again and lifts it high to get ready to end your life. A mocking salute is heard from him.

And that’s when you hear the sound of an arrow pass cleanly by your head.

The sound and feel of blood gushing out will probably be forever ingrained in your memory. You look to the side to see one of Sawamura’s guards with a bow. Behind him is one with a shield and a sword, together with Hinata. You smile at them before your legs give in underneath you.

You expect to hit the ground, given that Takashi’s body is pulling you down with him.

Sugawara scrapes his knees as he tries to run to you so fast that he stumbles. The last few steps are crawled but he reaches you before your upper body falls further down, grabbing a hold of your shoulders.

Panicked, one-syllable words are thrown at you, his behavior mirroring yours when he was stabbed. You almost laugh. His hands search your face and wipes your tears and drags stray hairs away from your face. You’re about to open your mouth and make a mother hen joke when his lips are colliding onto yours.

You’re rigid at first before you relax your mouth and mold your lips to fit his. Right as you’re starting to enjoy the feeling, he pulls away, apologies thick on his tongue, panic laced in his voice. He hasn’t gotten very far away from you before you lean forward to kiss him back.

You’re rougher, and your teeth clash, the kiss much more undignified than when he initiated it, but it’s no less perfect to you. When he pulls away, slower this time, you let him, searching his eyes. He still looks terrified and his breathing is still panicked, “I thought I’d lost you.” he admits. You smile and kiss him again, this time short and sweet, “oh, you won’t get rid of me that easily.”

Behind you, you hear the bellowing laugh of the guard who shot the arrow. You think his name might be Nishinoya. Sawamura walks up to them – he puts a hand on your shoulder on the way and smiles at you.

“Nishinoya.” Sawamura then says gratefully, and you make a mental note of giving that man a title as well. Nishinoya yells, “I told you guys I’d always have your back as the Guardian Deity!” you hear Hinata’s excitement too as you laugh and rest your head on Sugawara’s shoulder. Then, a stray tear slips past your defenses, “is it over?” you croak out, almost too afraid to ask. Sugawara laughs airily, like he can’t believe it either, but he rests his head on yours, “yes, your majesty.”

You’re glad to have found the truth, relieved that you can now let your father go knowing what has happened. The steps in front of you are also now clear, like he’s paved them for you before he left.

You smile into Sugawara’s shoulder and close your eyes. It’ll be okay.

My cat’s final contribution. He thanks you for reading his words and for your kind feedback in earlier chapters. He knows his words are superior to mine and CLEARLY is what’s made you all come back to this work:

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[allylikethecat]

ally!! the way i ran to ao3 as soon as i saw the ducklings update…i am in love with this fic and simultaneously bewildered at how you have managed to pull me into a genre of fic that i have avoided for years.

it is a testament to your writing and the way you write our poor fictional!matty. he is really going through it and i’d be lying if i said i wasn’t enjoying it slightly 🫠 (as someone with my own knee problems i have to say i appreciate that fictional!matty also has to suffer the same ailments as i do lol)

speaking of fictional!matty not having a good time, i saw the wip you posted for the equestrian au and am very excited for that next update too!!!

back to ducklings tho..i cannot WAIT for fictional!matty and fictional!george to have a grownup discussion as i anticipate that the angst will be unmatched. i also love me some fictional!ross for calling them both on their shit as he should. i once again thank u for your service and the absolute delight that is these tuesday updates 🫡

yours,

— 💌

Ahhh hello my dearest 💌 anon!! I hope you are well!

Thank you so much for giving Ducklings a chance in the first place, especially with it not being a genre of fic that you don't enjoy (and usually actively avoid!) Thank you so much for your kind words about my writing 🩵 I have so much fun crafting these little stories, and I'm so happy that y'all are enjoying them as well (and I hope that I've been able to continue improving the craft!) I also love putting Fictional!Matty through it (every day is the new worst day of his life lol)

Also knee problem peeps unite! Why are knees both so important and also so fragile?! We should have evolved into a better design by now lol I do hope both your knee/knees, Fictional!Matty's knee/knees and my own personal funky knee start to trend at least a bit into the better direction (yes, I know they're knees so it's unlikely BUT being overly positively optimistic at times is half my charm lol maybe we can all get a deal on cortisone shots together- Matty call me I know a cortisone shot guy (my orthopedic lol))

AHHH thank you so much for also giving the equestrian AU a chance and for your support on that one! It is so incredibly self indulgent, and I have SO MUCH FUN working on it, because I am the definition of annoying horse girl lol Making fictional!Matty and fictional!George horse BOYS brings me the most amount of joy lol I'm hoping to have the next update ready on Friday! I've just decided to make a few tweaks to the chapter 😊

Hehe this is Fictional!Matty we're talking about, so it's gotta get worse before it can get better! Fictional!Ross is like omfg though, he's got it coming from both sides lol

I apologize in advance, I'm not going to have an update next Tuesday February 20 or next Friday, February 23. I'm going to be out of the country to work and I don't want to be stressing about finishing a chapter / posting it while also trying to bond with me new coworkers lol BUT after that we should fully be back to our regularly scheduled programming / schedule 😊

Thank you so, so very much for reading, your support and alway sending the most lovely of messages 🥰 I greatly appreciate it and hope that you are having the absolute VERY BEST week!

❤️Ally

[st4rbwrry]

ugh i just got finished reading your fic sketch and boy (or girl in this matter) was it good. there are no words to describe how good it was oh my lordt. your fic is the first one i’ve ever read on this app & you have exceeded my expectations (this is coming from someone who has read wattpad fics while growing up, embarrassing ik lol) i have never read anything like it. to start it off, ive never read a fic where one of the main characters has ocd or anything related in that nature so it instantly had me curious as to where this fic was going. i like that we go to know both eren’s & the fl thoughts a little bit throughout the fic, it added a little pizazz (at least to me). like everything in this story flowed perfectly. them meeting at the museum/gallery & becoming interested in each other, them exchanging information so they could kick it later on, the fl not being happy in her relationship, eren & the female lead thinking of each other, & the fl actually coming over. the way you described eren’s place i could imagine it & mind you it’s literally so hard for me to imagine settings in stories when author’s describe the scene but you did it so perfectly i could literally imagine myself floating in 3rd person & seeing every lol. whew & don’t get me started on the build up to the smut- lawd. the cake part where eren was getting some & literally puts it in her mouth! i didn’t know if i wanted to be the fl or eren like- gawd i never wanted to be a character so bad in my life. & then when it finally started to go down i was blushing so hard because it was so hot. ugh i wish i wasn’t such a pussy so i could show you the ss of the parts that i was literally getting 💢⭕️💢⭕️ but i’ll just say it lol. ik exactly what position you were talking about when you said he but his arm around her collarbone & his whole weight was on her 👀 (even tho i’m literally a virgin but we’re just gonna skip over that lmfao). & when he pressed on that spot & was talking to her while doing it, the butterflies i got mann. WHEN HE TOLD HER TO SINK ON IT LAWD. IT WAS SO FUCKING HOT like the switch from eren being the dom to sub my heart almost couldn’t take it. i’m literally a sucker for sub men & the dialogue during that part WHEW. & even the little time skips around afterwards when they were chilling trying to make pancakes/waffles then it lead to the female lead getting ate out, the bathtub scene, & finally them in the bed together as the fl fell asleep while eren was reading warmed my heart fr fr. BUT THE ENDING?!?! the way i didn’t see that coming from a mile away like whaaaaat?! the worst (not like worst worst but in like worst that got me sad fr but best) one night stand i’ve ever read. the very end i was confused on. what did you mean that he was finally free & that the fl wouldn’t find him if she looked? free as in left the earth? 😭 or free as in he dipped & is just never coming back?

moral of this all is, the way of words you have & your attention to describing detail is so fucking good omg! i hope you take writing seriously because the gift that you have ma’am?! 👩🏽‍⚖️💥💥you have a real gift/talent & i can’t wait to read the rest of your fics because this one was straight up heat istg. ugh i wish i didn’t say this anonymously but i’m literally nervous interacting with people so i do it anonymously but still! supporting you from behind the mask ✊🏽 have a lovely day <3

JAJSJSJDD AHHHHH OMGGGG THIS IS THE BEST FUCKING REVIEW FOR SKETCH EVERRRRRRR. thank you from the bottom of my heart, truly. that’s one of my favorite fics i’ve written and, known fact, took me like two months to finish lol. i wanted it to be PERFECT. i’m really really really glad you took your time to read it, analyze, and enjoy it as well as sending me this review. this means EVERYTHINGGGGGGGG to me. i put my foot in that fic so im very grateful. I LOVE YOU VERY MUCHHHHHHHHHHHH. and i completely understand about being on anon and not feeling to comfortable sharing screenshots. your comments were enough fr. thank you. <3

[softxsuki]

please could i have an urgent request? i'm chronically ill and suffer from intense chronic leg pain due to my illness, this makes it very hard for me stand/walk/go up stairs. i've found out recently that i'm going to need a crutch or cane within the next 3-6 months and i'm incredibly distraught about this.

could you write about marius von hagen with an s/o who uses a mobility aid like this? if this makes you uncomfortable in any way then it's no problem, thank you very much

Marius With Reader Who Uses Mobility Aid

Pairing: Marius x Gn!Reader (MC)

Warnings: mentions of using mobility aid (crutches/cane), feeling hopeless, crying, hints of depression

Genre: Comfort

Post-Type: Headcanons

Word Count: 460

Summary: In which you find out you have to use Mobility Aid due to the affect your illness has on your legs, and how Marius reacts to this/comforts you through this.

[A/N: Hey babes, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. You're very strong for dealing with chronic pain each day, and having to deal with such devastating news like that. But I know you can get through this, no matter how hard it may be. I hope these headcanons provide you with a bit of comfort. It's my first time writing for Marius! I haven't gotten any tot requests so this was nice. tbh tho I haven't played tot for a while (i've been busy with work and other things) so I don't know how in character he is NFJEKAF. Hopefully it's alright and i hope you enjoy! Praying for you and sending you lots of love <3]

Marius:

Let me just put it out there that you using crutches or a cane doesn’t negatively affect Marius at all 

He’s so incredibly in love with you that NOTHING would ever change that, EVER

He of course hates how much this change has impacted you–seeing you sad breaks his heart, but he’d never let that show on his face

He remains the same cheeky, flirty, Marius you know and love and tries to get your mind off your negative thoughts by treating you like he always has

Your chronic leg pain was something he grew used to over time, doing everything in his power to try and find a solution to your illness, using as much money as he needed to blow off on doctor appointments and literally any other resource that could possibly help you

But when the ultimate answer was using mobility aid, Marius continued to remain positive in hopes that his attitude would rub off on you and make you feel a little more hopeful about your situation

He goes out to do anything and everything with you, your disability won’t stop him from taking you to your usual spots

He makes easier walking routes for you to get into his company and home so you don’t have to worry about that

Other than that though, he treats you like he always does because he doesn’t want you to feel like he’s treating you a certain way or that he’s only with you out of pity, but this man really loves you and you better believe he’ll make sure you know that for a fact

On days where your situation hits hard on you and you just feel so depressed and hopeless, Marius is right by your side supporting you

“I know this isn’t the kind of life you would have chosen for yourself. Hell, even I wish I could do more to help you so that you wouldn’t have to go through this, but we do. You have this illness and it’s affecting your legs, so we just have to work through it, babe. You’re not alone in this, you have my 100000000% unconditional support and love. I love you so much and nothing will ever change that. I know some days will be harder than others, but we’ll get through each day together, alright?”

Usually he doesn’t get so serious, but when you look so dejected and sad,  he has no choice but to straighten up and be there for you emotionally as well–his playful attitude still shines through though so look forward to that

Rain or shine, Marius will find a way to lift your spirits and not have you focus on the negative side of your illness–he’d do anything to keep a smile on your face

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted: 11/4/2022

[maginxlia]

Nanami, Gojo, Toji and Sukuna Ryomen in The Christmas Special

Rated R

Contains Foul language and Suggestive Themes

Since Almost Every Good TV series has a Christmas Special or two or more (Looking at you Simpsons!) It's only fitting that I pull my creative block away and Give y'all a little something for the Holidays🎄I appreciate all the love and support y'all give to me and I want to truly thank you all💖 Pronouns Out of this because issa party for everybody 💖 I hope y'all have a Beautiful and Safe holiday💖 For those of y'all who's able to see y'all family for the holidays, I wish y'all well and safe travels with a beautiful loving holiday with the ones you love💖 For those who aren't able to see y'all families, I wish you well and I want you to know you are loved, I hope that your holiday can be wonderful even tho it might Not be the way you planned it💖 Sending y'all lots of love from the Southern Wonderland✨

Tldr: I love y'all and Merry Christmas! Happy Kwanzaa! Happy Yule! I hope y'all had a Happy Hanukkah! In short Happy Holidays 💖

Nanami Kento

Nanami is a man who loves Traditions

Setting up the tree together? Hanging his favorite ornaments that you bought for him? Singing Carols together? Sign him up

Loves the way a real tree smell like but he always set up the artificial tree instead

Nanami has antique decorations that were given to him and he's very proud of them

He has an old ass recipe book that his granny gave to him so he knows how to make Snickerdoodles And soft gingerbread men

Loves to try new recipes with you and Making beautiful Gingerbread houses with you

Drinks adult (Liquored up) Eggnog Every night before bed

Adores old Christmas movies and will cry during Rudolph

Thoughtful high quality gifts, Nanami is a man who listens and observes

Also has the skill of gift wrapping down, The gifts look like something out of a Better Homes and Gardens magazine

Would love to start the tradition of y'all buying special ornaments each year

Spends hours getting the lights right inside and out

Likes to keep everything neat and orderly aka the HOA doesn't have shit to say

Slow dancing Together to old Christmas music and with Him absent mindlessly humming along🥰

Making homemade hot chocolate and watching the fire while the Christmas lights are the only thing lit is 100/100

Making love to you by the fire is 1,000% vibes for him

Loves and respect all of your traditions

It warms his heart doing something charitable for The community

Gojo Satoru

Gojo is fucking ready Shit he's been Ready since January

Literally want y'all place to be the best decorated in the community

Has a prelit white artificial tree and love to decorate the tree with themes in mind

Decorating The tree with this man is an oddly romantic event, If you can't reach the top He will pick you up so you can put ornaments around the top of the tree and the smirk he has is so sly

Goes all out on the lights outside so much that he makes the community have power outage 🤦🏾‍♀️

Gojo got y'all power bill outrageous and the HOA IS BIG MAD

Actually has a list of people to get gifts for and he can decently wrap them too

He Will be hurt if they don't get him a card or small present

Mans will frequently sit under y'all tree naked with a bow on his meat talking about " Unwrap me Baby”

Drinks from a Christmas mug That says "Ho Ho Hoe" on it

Gojo can't control himself around mistletoe 🤦🏾‍♀️ He's nasty and we all know this, Guaranteed to have your clothes undone and his tongue in your mouth in 0.1 seconds

Purchase a lot of gag gifts but also a lot of heartfelt ones too

He wears Ugly Christmas sweaters until Christmas is over

Watch cheesy romance Christmas movies and say "Baby that could be us"

Do not let him drink eggnog with alcohol in it! He will get drunk, clingy and Sleazy

Dresses like Santa Claus and want you to act out one of his favourite XXX Films

Also He does an amazing Santa baby cover that can make Eartha Kitt blush and Make Megumi sick

Host a bomb ass Christmas party every year that not so surprisingly make the Neighborhood hate him even more

Will successfully guess every gift someone brought him just by picking it up

Fushiguro Toji

Christmas spirit??? Toji doesn't even know her

Mans is big mad

Buying gifts? Goodwill towards man? Hanging lights??? A tree?¿? Decorations?!?!? He could go gambling with all that money and energy

That doesn't mean he will deter you from it tho, If it put a smile on your face he'll of course suck it up

Also let's all be honest if you were nothing but a fling and a warm place to stay, Toji would be M.I.A for the holidays so he wouldn't have to buy you a gift (Just Scrub Tings) But He considers you his last chance at happiness

Don't let him pick the tree because lemme tell you he will pick the most pitiful twig they got and lie about it being all they had left🤦🏾‍♀️

He Might lift that fine ass off the couch and put one or two ornaments on the tree but that about it

Would prefer if y'all didn't illuminate the place where he “hides out”

Finds himself enjoying the snacks and cuisine that comes with Christmas

Will eat a tin of Christmas cookies while looking at TV

If you make a gingerbread house He's gonna to eat it

Grumbles about watching Christmas movies but will oblige if you sit on his lap while watching them

The Grinch and Scrooge are both misunderstood characters to him and he relates to them

even tho he's not about that spirit of gift buying but he makes sure to get you something nice and he wouldn't be piss if you don't get him anything

Hates the thought of mistletoe; he doesn't need some “weed” to kiss you until you're weak in the knees

Carolers beware! Toji will not tolerate strangers at y'all home and will Threaten their life expectancy

Doesn't trust Eggnog but loves sparkling grape juice

Ryomen Sukuna

Sukuna never really cared to celebrate the holidays but now he has you so he is willing to go all out

Personally Thinks Christmas is about receiving and he likens it to his days of when people would give him offerings

Sukuna really out in these streets keeping Yuuji up at night talking about Presents🤦🏾‍♀️ For himself 🤦🏾‍♀️

No joke He's really gift centered I mean yes he'll help you put up the tree but if there isn't at least one gift under the tree for him on the 25th..... He's yeeting the tree out the fucking window

That being Said he wants the biggest tree and he wants to load it down with tinsel and ornaments to the point it looks kinda tacky

Will spray tons of fake snow on it too

Tries to put up lights and gets agitated the moment they get knotted up or don't work so of course he yanks the bitches off the house in one go (Damage who?)

Tries to put up an inflatable but he was reckless with his claws and he punctured it

So outside decorations is all a Yuuji Job

All the Christmas theme sweets got him intoxicated

Little Debbie tree cakes are his drugs, Sukuna will eat three boxes a day and will get very pissed if you touch one of his cakes without asking first (will be pissed that you even want one)

Likes some of the old Christmas music but he will destroy your radio if all I want for Christmas is you plays more than 2 times

Yuuji Has to tell him that it's not normal to buy gifts for himself and that Christmas is about giving to others

Also Sukuna is forced to budget, He's only allowed to spend 300 hundred dollars on his gifts for you

He struggles with his budget to get you something he deems worthy of royalty but he somehow manages

Don't think for one minute he wrapped the gifts himself, He paid the professionals to do it

CAN and WILL Shake the fuck outta the gifts under the tree so watch him

Drinks so much Eggnog that he makes Yuuji belly ache for three suns

Make sure to always be in control whenever there is mistletoe nearby, if Yuuji dare to kiss you it will be hell to pay

Type to hold you firmly against him as he kisses you so deeply that he takes your breath away, Also you can feel all those muscles 🤤

Will bitch about watching old holiday films with you but slowly come to appreciate if not love them

Likes, Comments, Reblogs and Requests is Hella Appreciated Loved💖 Please don't Steal My Shit

[rhenuvee]

Hello there,

💫Team HC

My main team is Anemo Traveler (Lumine), my son Bennett (Main DPS), Kaeya (Second DPS) and Noelle (shield/support)

I love all of them platonically!

I almost replaced Bennett with Diluc (after I finally got him) but I felt too guilty and put Bennett back in his rightful place and proceeded to make him super strong as an apology ;^;

Hi, thanks for sending something in!

⊱ ━━━━ Team HCs ━━━━ ⊰

Well the good thing is: it really is convenient they're all in Mondstadt so they all know each other somewhat already

Lumine- we all know she's got a lot of things to do so there's never nothing to do with the team

Kaeya, Bennett and Noelle are super enthusiastic and excited about working with the legendary honorary knight (not Kaeya tho, he plays it cool but he feels the same)

(Not an original thought but I had to include it bc I think it’s cute) Kaeya teaches Bennett how to handle his sword better when fighting

Bennett is fanboying over everyone and how strong they all are, he can’t help but be inspired 

Your team likes going on expeditions together: it’s a good way to get important things they need, look for treasures, and possibly help Mondstadt citizens

Adventures are never uninteresting, since you may.. you know get caught in one of Bennett’s mishaps (might be a little chaotic, but you wouldn’t have it any other way)

Noelle was delighted to be a part of the team, and felt very proud of herself that she could go out and achieve in another way (almost like a real Knight of Favonious)

Though Kaeya won’t show it, experiencing all these new things definitely takes him for a whirl

Your team bonds over nights where they have to camp out- it’s definitely not everyone’s cup of tea but it’s a nice opportunity to share stories and taste each other’s cooking over the fire

Noelle likes to ask Kaeya about being a KoF, so hopefully she can mentally prepare for the next test 

Bennett likes listening to Lumine’s adventures and gets excited just thinking about travelling to other regions

All in all, these four travelling together definitely spices things up from their regular daily lives, and it's truly rewarding

⊱ ━━━━━━━━ ⊰

Rhen’s 400 Follower Event: This event is now closed!

[singtotheskiies]

“how are you so perfect?!” // karl jacobs fluff alphabet

a/n: the mcyt brainrot continues so i am coping with the fluffiest karl hcs my brain can summon,,,,,,, i am affection-starved send help please

summary: a look into the abcs of dating the one and only sweetheart karl jacobs!!! (fluff alphabet template by @snk-warriors)

activities - what do they like to do with their s/o? how do they spend their free time with them?

karl loves doing literally anything and everything with you; he just loves your presence and company so much!! whether it’s late-night target runs, playing minecraft together, or just collapsing into your arms after a long, late-night stream, being with you instantly lifts his mood.

beauty - what do they admire about their s/o? what do they think is beautiful about them?

while karl appreciates and adores everything about you, i can definitely see him being a sucker for your eyes. he loves how they sparkle in certain lights, how big and happy they are when you’re looking at him, how they crinkle when you laugh, and how your pretty eyelashes flutter against your cheeks when the two of you cuddle. he often finds himself getting all blushy when you guys maintain prolonged eye contact:)))) i think he’d also love your hands and shoulders too!!

comfort - how would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

karl is no stranger to anxiety and is incredibly empathetic. the combination of these two things makes him the BEST person to have around when you’re not feeling good. if you’re sad, he’ll instinctively know just what to do to put a smile on your face again. he’ll crack stupid jokes or put on music and dance with you—anything to make you happy. if you’re anxious, he’ll talk softly to you and, if you’re feeling up to it, will hold you so you can safely come down from your panicking. he’ll definitely cradle the back of your head with his hand as he holds you close, just breathing with you.

dreams - how do they picture their future with their s/o?

karl is definitely the type to fall hard relatively quickly in a relationship. thinking about the future is sometimes scary for him, but with you in the picture, he finds it less threatening—beautiful, even. he doesn’t know exactly how he wants everything to turn out, but he does know that he wants you by his side through all of it.

equal - are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

equality in a relationship is INCREDIBLY important to karl. he respects you so much and wants to make sure that your opinions and ideas are heard. the two of you 100% thrive on mutual communication and input.

fight - would they forgive their s/o easily? how do they fight?

i don’t see karl as the type to get upset easily; he’s pretty chill and is very forgiving since he hates conflict. i can see the odd argument popping up if he’s tired or stressed and accidentally snaps at you, but he’d be clinging to you five minutes later and begging for forgiveness (which, of course, you can’t resist giving him—he has an unfair amount of cute privilege).

gratitude - how grateful are they in general? are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

karl is sweetie #1 and never fails to appreciate the people in his life (or let them know). you could get him a monster from the fridge and he’ll literally pepper your face with kisses while chanting “thank you thank you thank you” like you just saved his life or something. he’s such a cutie and never fails to show you just how much he appreciates everything you do:)))

honesty - do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? or do they share everything?

as i said before, karl thrives on communication. however, he’s often hesitant to tell you when he’s feeling down or upset. even though he knows you probably wouldn’t mind, he doesn’t want to drag you down or burden you with his problems. his tell for feeling down is getting really quiet, so if you notice this, a few gentle questions will get him to open up to you. he’s working on being more open because you always help him feel so much better!!

inspiration - did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? ex: trying out new things or helping them overcome personal problems?

without a doubt, you have both changed each other for the better!! he’s helped you appreciate the little things and the quiet companionship that so many people take for granted. he’s also been a huge constant and has helped you through tough times. you’ve been a huge calming-yet-brilliant force for him and have taught him that good things always come in time. y’all are really an unstoppable pair and mean so much to the other!!

jealousy - do they get jealous easily? how do they deal with it?

karl doesn’t get jealous as much as he gets insecure. if he’s feeling uncomfortable, he’ll just get super quiet. after all, who is he to stop you from having fun?? maybe you’re better off with this person in the moment,,,, anyway, you’ll have to make it up to him with a cuddle session and reassuring him about how much you love him between soft head kisses:)))

kiss - are they a good kisser? what was the first kiss like?

karl’s kisses are LOVELY—soft and sweet with his hands gently cupping your cheek or jaw or even holding your own. he just loves being able to feel you and be close to you. the first kiss probably happened during a cuddle session—he would just be so caught up in your presence and softness and scent that his face would move closer to yours without him even trying. you’d make soft, shy eye contact for a brief moment before his mouth met yours. help he’s so cute ajcividiahhdjfd

love confession - how would they confess to their s/o?

god, he’s SUCH a cheeseball—he’d either do it on your birthday, delivered with a shy smile and giant bouquet, or just blurt it out of nowhere at 2am while the two of you are tired and slap-happy out of your minds. either way, he says it with such hushed reverence that your heart forgets how to work for a few minutes. so many kisses after;))))

marriage - do they want to get married? how would they propose? what would the marriage be like?

like i said earlier, karl can get a bit overwhelmed when thinking about the future. however, he does know that he wants the utter joy you bring him every day to keep going. he likes the idea of a small, pretty wedding with the people you’re closest with, but he’s also fine with just enjoying what you have. as long as he gets to be with you he’s happy:)))

nicknames - what do they call their s/o?

i get the vibe that he’d call you by your first initial or “baby” when he wants to be more casual (but he somehow imbues “baby” with so much meaning,,,,, hhhh). uses “sweetie” sometimes and also “honey” after you’ve been in a relationship for a while. basically just uses the absolute CUTEST names,,, they come naturally to him bc he loves you so much:’))

on cloud nine - what are they like when they are in love? is it obvious to others? how do they express their feelings?

it is PAINFULLY obvious that karl’s in love with you. he’s always gushing about you to his mr. beast and minecraft friends, so full of fond stories that everyone groans at so much of a mention of your name (everyone secretly thinks it’s adorable tho). the two of you have had so many people compliment you on how cute of a couple you are—your joking, fond chemistry is palpable.

pda - are they upfront about their relationship? do they brag about their s/o in front of others? or are they rather shy to kiss, etc. when others are watching?

while it’s common knowledge karl’s love language is physical touch, he’s always considerate of your boundaries while the two of you are around others. he’ll likely keep pda to hand holding and an arm slung comfortably over your shoulder. it’s just enough to let you feel each other without being too clingy.

quirk - a random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

karl is super unselfish—meaning his closet, nail polish—and yes, even his prized monster energy drinks—are also yours. he truly believes that sharing is caring, and it makes him incredibly happy when you’re wearing one of his iconic sweaters or giving him a grateful smile as he hands you half of his taco bell order.

romance - how romantic are they? what would they do to make their s/o happy? cliché or rather creative?

karl is a complete angel and always puts others first, meaning he’s an absolute GOD when it comes to romance. he’s always laughing and joking with you, and he never runs out of fun things for the two of you to do. at the beginning of your relationship, he’ll stick to the tried-and-true formulas of giant teddy bears, chocolate, and shared sweaters. as he gets to know you better, though, he’ll take pride in giving you super personal gifts and crafting special date nights he knows you’ll love. he’s the absolute sweetest:’’))

support - do they help their s/o achieve their goals? do they believe in them?

karl is your biggest fan first and your boyfriend second. he never fails to cheer you on every step of the way and remind you just how incredible you are when you’re struggling. he truly believes you can do anything—he is an angel. an ANGEL.

thrill - do they need to try out new things to spice out their relationship? or do they prefer a certain routine?

the two of you have a happy, comfortable rhythm in your relationship. however, you guys definitely try things together. watching a new cartoon, trying a quirky restaurant, or doing weird challenges with each other on stream never feels too much like stepping out of your comfort zone since the two of you are so in sync. even if something backfires, you’ve got the safety net of the other person to catch you.

understanding - how well do they know their partner? are they empathetic?

karl has incredible amounts of emotional and interpersonal intelligence. he believes in the innate dignity and beauty of all people, and LOVES getting to know every single bit of who you are. he’s completely committed to you, and is the perfect person to help you with whatever you’re going through.

value - how important is the relationship to them? what is its worth in comparison to other things in their life?

he considers your relationship to be the best part of his life. you’ve been with him through so much, and looking back, it’s incredibly clear just how much your presence in his life has changed him for the better. he loves you so much!!!!!

wild card - a random fluff headcanon.

karl often rants happily on and on about his newest cartoon or gaming obsession while the two of you are cuddling. he’s just so cute, and more often than not you’ll end up kissing all over his freckled cheeks and soft hair. he melts into you like a cat and the two of you just breathe the other in with pure contentment:))))) send help y’all are so cute:))))

xoxo - are they very affectionate? do they love to kiss and cuddle?

this goes without saying, but karl is a cuddlebug supreme. if you’re not super into cuddling, he’ll understand but try and ease you into it so that he can love you the way he really wants to!! copious amounts of cuddles, kisses, and affection are central to his ideal relationship.

yearning - how do they cope when they’re missing their partner?

poor karl gets so lonely without you!! you’ll facetime him when you’re gone for even a night, and he’ll pick up wearing one of your sweatshirts. “miss me that much??” you tease, and he can only nod and pout. expect millions of wish you were heres and miss you babys and can’t wait to hug u agains spam texted to you. lots of snapchats of him giving puppy dog eyes to the camera and cuddling stuffed animals will also be sent. he can’t help it—he just adores you and is constantly pouting until you’re back.

zeal - are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? if so, what will they do?

you’re karl’s everything, and he’ll do anything to make sure that your relationship is happy, healthy, and beneficial for both of you. thankfully, though, he’s such a sweetheart that making sure things are running smoothly isn’t much of a task at all!!

[abluescarfonwaston]

Trucy and Maya sign Phoenix up for Queer eye after his name is cleared. By the time filming starts he’s decided to study for the bar again and is honestly excited to have some help putting his life back together.

They tear apart his house and drag him for the fact he is wearing socks with sandles and his closet is nothing but sweatshirts and beach clothes. He Does have an old like shakespeare costume in the depths of his closet that Johnathan puts on as well as the Furio Tigre shirt. They check out the magic equipment and Phoenix goes on his proud dad rant about how she’s the light of his life and so talented and he loves her-

Jonathan takes him to the salon for a hair cutting. Under the Beanie his hair got kinda long and gnarly. He didn’t want people to recognize him and even know the idea of it’s still a little anxiety provoking. But he also Wants to look good again and feel confident. Jonathan gives him a scruff trim too and they stop at a goatee. They laugh and Phoenix sends a picture to someone. Oooh your boyfriend? Haha not exactly. They end up going clean shaven tho. As they’re walking out Phoenix stares at his phone and goes. Huh. Maybe we should have kept the goatee.

Antoni asks him what he can cook. He proudly announces he makes the best pancakes. And that he can make a few other things that aren’t blatant depression meals. That what he knows he learned cause he wanted to take care of Trucy but he’s a little ashamed at how often the priority was ‘just make sure she eats something’ because he was too exhausted for more. That he Wants to have this big family dinner with all the people who helped and supported him while he was disbarred. Antoni teaches him how to make a big roast for special occasions and some easier healthy meals for normal days.

Bobby helps him reestablish his house, reducing the clutter that Phoenix has been too tired to clean himself along with making the space more usable to the big groups of family Phoenix wants to be able to host here without embarrassment. 

Tan takes him out to get new clothes. Before he does Trucy actually pulls Tan aside and says her uncle already got Daddy a new suit and can we arrange it so Daddy finds it because it’s perfect but Uncle Miles is worried he’s putting the pressure on too hard since Daddy’s already taking the bar exam for him again (again?) and-

Tan gets him a wardrobe that is more presentable and upscale for court/everyday. They ‘find’ a blue suit with a red tie. Phoenix breaks down crying and Tan is Very concerned but - No... I just... I know who made this suit. That jerk. Of course he already had a suit made for me. I love it. It’s perfect.

And Karamo and him talk about how he has all these people he owes so much to now because he couldn’t have done this without them and he doesn’t know how to even start paying them all back and honestly he was such a bastard these last few years and he’s not even sure how to stop being that person sometimes even though he Wants to. He wants to be that trusting person that Believes in people again. And maybe they all expect him to go back to being that person and he doesn’t want to disappoint them because he loves them so fucking much especially after they went and did this for him too-

And Karamo stops him and asks him if he saw the video that his family submitted asking them to come help Phoenix. Which he hasn’t.

Daddy gave up everything for me. To make sure I grew up happy and loved and he did. He’s the best Daddy in the world. And I want him to be happy. Just as happy as he’s made me.

Nick’s been there for me, when no one else was. Just. Over and over again. Believed in me when no one else did. Pearl give Trucy the camera and come tell everyone how awesome Nick is. He just needs a little help remembering that. Cause he’s a idiot sometimes.

Wright is... he’s my oldest and dearest friend. He’s brilliant and kind and he saved me. And if there is anything I can do to help him reclaim his proper place in the courtroom I would do it, without hesitation. Once you see him in court you’ll understand exactly why I- Kay. Kay why do you have a camera?!

You said you’d do anything Mr. Edgeworth!

I- what is this about?!

“You know you’re friends better than we do but I don’t think they’re keeping score. And if you really want to show your gratitude, beating yourself up over it isn’t the way to do it. You could start by saying thank you instead.”

“Heh. I told Edgeworth that same thing.”

And they invite the whole Wright family over to the big thank you feast. He’s cleaned up and wearing a nice Dad sweater. He gets dog piled in hugs and then Maya yells at him for not making hamburgers instead. Edgeworth shows up a hour late with a bottle of wine and a faint smile.

“Wright I was lead to believe you purchased a suit recently? If you’re done covering yourself in flour,” I’m gonna cover you in flour. “Would you like to show us.”

“Don’t expose the kids to your suit fetish Edgeworth.”

“That’s not! Wright just-. Put the damn suit on Wright.”

“Hahah yeah okay.”

He does and everyone tells him how great he looks and damn is that a waistcoat? Someone’s grown up. And not just out. 

And Edgeworth just watches him with quiet tender eyes as everyone else talks.

“Wright?” Hm? “You’re missing a part.”

“Huh? I got everything! I double- no - Triple checked!”

“You forgot this.” He opens his palm. A shiny golden badge in it. “Congrats on passing the bar exam.”

The episode is a fan favorite.

[mickules]

Are you gonna do tumblr plus? Because you’re my favorite blog but I’m broke and have no money 😭

Oh. . .Oh nooooooooo

HA, yeah, no fear, I'm not signing up for tumbl's li'l scheme.

Art for me is a definitely a passion, but I've zero plans on monetising it at the moment since I'm lucky enough to make a decent wage driving trains. I don't even have ads enabled on my youtube cos making money from fanworks is a copyright nightmare that I don't want to navigate. That and navigating my tax return

(also tho, "favourite blog"!! AHH! you flatter me! :D)

[from this comic] @mortonmurphy Sorry for the so response there - I'm not so good at replying in a timely manner, but thank you so much for such a lovely, heartfelt ask! I totally sympathise with feeling intimidated; I've felt the same way sending asks before, it can be oddly daunting! I'm so happy to hear you liked that comic; It seems to have resonated with a lot of people and that's really so wonderful, just warms my heart! The Dangan cast have such good chemistry, there are infinite scenarios and dynamics to play with; Taka and Hina being supports for each other as survivors is a top tier hypothetical! DR + AA cross-overs are PEAK EXCELLENCE, they just fit so well together! Ace Attorney is an old, old friend to me, and I've had that [particular comic idea] sorta floating about the noggin, I'm really pleased with how it turned out :) Thanks so much! :D

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@a-lien-kai (!! Oh!! :-O high praise that it's my nonsense that got you liking Taka :D Glad you're liking this strange little AU I've been having fun with!) good news; I've drawn a little Gundham before in [this dump] ! but I'll post him here again; before and after putting on his face for the day:

[from these asks here] Oh my absolute sympathies; being born to a family of morning people is a terrible fate.

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from the [same ask dump] as the Gundham one ^ (:-) happy to hear you get smiles from my art!! thanks so much! :D) Resting Ishimaru Bitch face kills me XD, and Taka, Peko and Maki share such a similar intense energy, that I love the idea that it's a shared genetic family trait.

SORRY FOR THE DELAY THERE!! (might be a moot point, but I figure it's worth still answering!) Putting it on tumblr and tagging me should be a good way for me to find it, that's totally fine! I've also no problem with you mentioning my account name on AO3, that's A-OK by me ;) I appreciate you checking just in case. (also, gift fic!! I'm still like -> :-0!! so cool!)

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Yesssss! It's a good sign when multiple people wanna share the same fic! I love the enthusiasm! "Trinkets" by Sapphin3 has a very interesting idea; I do enjoy people exploring how those who died in the killing game might react to the consequences of their untimely deaths, (and "Touch starved" is a short but very sweet look at some Taka/Hiro step-bro interactions) A+!

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OH! I've read the first few chapters of "The Problem with Perfection" by DracotheDeathEatingCupcake, and I'm really digging the exploration of Taka as less self-assured, dealing with the anxiety caused by the constant pressure of the expectation he's under. It's got such a strong narrative voice, you really feel the stress and insecurities that Taka is fighting with, and the ending of ch.1 OOF what a GUT-PUNCH!

---

I've not read Killer Killer, but as a concept; a serial killer targeting serial killers is sincerely REALLY COOL, kinda like the whole 'Sparkling Justice' background character from SDR2, and more Mukuro is always appreciated. . . Though I do feel it'd work perfectly well as a stand-alone concept, outside of the Dangan universe, I might check it out.

---

I've also had some kind DMs along this vein and I'm very flattered by the interest, but I have to say that I'm not planning on doing requests or commissions, I do very much appreciate the enquiry however!

(I don't mean to single this particular asker out - especially since they don't have their own tumbl but thought it was a good opportunity to mention!)

@randomqueenkitcat1121 Absolutely Do! I hope you have a great time with it! You can get persona 4 golden on steam which is like a HD remake - the original came out on the PS2. I'll admit I've not managed to finish it yet cos I am capital B- BAD at video games, but it really explores some A+++ themes! (AHHH! what lovely compliments!! :D Glad you enjoy the dorks and their shenanigans! :D )

---

I think Avatar is a good show! I watched it a lot when I was younger, as it had a ton of re-runs on terrestrial tv. The world concept and building is excellent, and it works so well with how the plot requires a world spanning journey. The characters all have real rapport, and genuine growth across the series, all wrapped up in gorgeous animation, trés bien. In general I tend to gravitate towards more 'sci fi' concepts than 'fantasy/swords and sorcery' ones, so avatar is certainly an outlier there.

[from this fanart!] These suggestions all have REAL cryptid energy, and honestly; the idea of a free-range Hooty equivalent? Nightmares

[this post] and its [re-draw]

@cicicookie12 I too live the curse of pale ass Irish skin; you have my many sympathies, and my factor 50+ suncream.

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@yaysof11037 I dunno why we're surprised - Taka's speedo is so in character it's ridiculous, how did we not all see this coming?

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OK LOOK, I DID NOT MEAN TO FLATTEN HIS ASS! There are only so many ways to draw someone FACE DOWN ASS UP in a SPEEDO and not make it the WRONG SIDE OF SPICY

Speedos leave nothing to the imagination

consider it an optical illusion.

---

In general I'd have liked to have seen more one piece swimming costumes (like Komaru's from the promo image) for the sportier/shyer girls, and more abs on our strong women which is what they deserve damn it!

However, there does seem to be some thought put into matching the characters personalities which was a pleasant surprise to say the least. Sakura, Korekiyo, Chihiro and Kiibo's are PEAK; tho' I wish Sonia had kept her wetsuit, plus we were robbed of Kazuichi and Hajime's matching camo speedos, which would've upped our disappointing speedo count from 2 to a slightly better 4 It would've been hilarious if Celeste had remained fully clothed the whole time.

Fingers in his ass never left.

(next set of asks [about parent trap au]) (previous set of asks [mostly about takaaki/hiroko] )

[yourlocalshewerewolf]

PRIDE FANCAST, Part 1:

HAPPY PRIDE Y’ALL, first things first, I wanted to do something last year for pride, but college got the best of me, so I decided that I would do it this year instead and nothing better than hyping up some beloved LGBTQ+ characters AND artists. Since this is pride month, this entire little fancast series, with an exception of my beloved Benjamin Pratt, has members of the LGBTQ+ community cast as these amazing characters and I have a big thanks to @yourdailyqueer for that so GO SUPPORT THEM!

Benjamin Bratt as Gregorio de la Vega, formerly known as Extranõ (DC’s first openly gay character):

Now, this is a complicated character, its first apparitions were just bad and heavily stereotyped, but DC seemed to notice their mistakes and revamped the character now giving this Peruvian warlock a better treatment. However, the character is still often missing from comics, it would be nice to see him in main storylines and get to know more about him, a way to get him in the spotlight could be through the DCEU (once it figures itself out). We have seen characters start or appear on tv shows and movies and then get major roles on the comics (hell, this was the beginning of our beloved Harley Quinn) so this could be a way for Gregorio and an actor I think would nail this is my dear Benjamin Pratt. Pratt, one of my dear childhood crushes, is a great actor and would do an amazing job, plus he is well-known which could help with bringing attention to the character.

Cody Fern (some places says he never choose a specific label, others says he identifies as gay) as Jean-Paul Beaubier aka Northstar (Marvel’s first openly gay character):

I absolutely HAD to start this with Gregorio and Northstar, but outside of the obvious point in common, the way these characters were worked has some differences. Northstar was actually given quite a role (although now he also hasn’t showed up much in the comics) and is very important for the mutant universe. Since the mutants are FINALLY coming to the MCU and Marvel is remembering that they have LGBTQ+ characters, this could be a great opportunity to bring Northstar into the picture. Fern is a phenomenal actor that looks a lot like the character, I know he would be great, but the only problem is that Jean is Canadian and has a French accent (if I'm remembering correctly) so Fern would have to work on the accent, but it wouldn't be the first time that happened.

Ben J. Pierce/Miss Benny (gay) as Timothy “Tim” Jackson Drake aka Red Robin, formerly known as Robin (bisexual):

MY BELOVED TIM DRAKE, one of my favorite Robins and one of the ones that deserves a lot more recognition (and main storylines). Tim is very dear to me and when I found out that he is confirmed to be bisexual I was so happy that I had to include him here. Again, DC needs to get itself together, but who knows, maybe it will happen soon and then we can have all Robins being portrayed in a live-action (I know someone might think of Titans since they already have what, 3 robins? But not only they didn't cast a romani actor for Dick Grayson, but, from what I saw on the internet, they seem to have rushed Jason Todd's story). When that happens, I think Miss Benny would be a good choice for the role. They already have quite a few acting credits and some solid talent so I think they could do a good job here, plus you could bring some of their songs into the soundtrack, it’s a win-win.

Usually, I like to post separated image files and then put them side by side, but there is a bit of a bug going on so I had to go with the single file option (tho, tumblr support did send me an email letting me know that they are looking into it, so, hopefully, it will be figured out soon). Anyways, all photos and characters do not belong to me, I merely edited them, all credit goes to their respective owners! I have two more parts of this little series set to post, but until then: carry on my rainbow fellas.

[greensaplinggrace]

honestly THANK YOU for saying all that abt baghra bc i thought i was going crazy from not liking her??? bc i haven't read the books and only summaries of them on wiki and like. i dunno why ppl like her actually even in the show bc this guy, her son, is like "i wanna make the world better for us grisha" and she's just like "no." even tho he sees that she's MAKING HERSELF SICK from suppressing her powers! she's literally like in bed coughing in the flashback yet seem much healthier at the little palace. also like after everything, after her disapproval, after the fold, after centuries of waiting for the sun summoner.. he never abandons her. he makes sure she's cares for. he doesn't harm her. and i have to wonder if baghra has ever thanks him for that, for just not leaving her alone. like i dunno how im suppose ro believe aleks is a heartless villain when he still cares for his abusive mom like this. like has baghra even told her she loved him (honestly she reminds me of a classic emotionally unavailable asian parent but maybe that's just me). also im wondering if baghra ever told aleks that he had an aunt.. bc like.. now that u bring up her isolating him it's like hmmmm...

not at me being like alina... why do u trust the bitter old woman who literally beats u with a stick and verbally abuses u every chance she gets.. just bc she showed a bad painting... like.. pls use two braincells to see that who u figured out as his mother... is also using his protection..

like baghra could've upped and left with alina. but no. she stayed bc she knew she was safe under aleks's protection.

alsoim just impressed that after his first friend tried to drown him and harvest his bones... he didn't go into hiding???? he still wanted to make a safe heaven for grisha!!! HE STILL WANTED TO PROTECT GRISHA EVEN AFTER HIS GRISHA FRIEND TRIED TO KILL HIM FOR HIS FUCKEN BONES. like... this is the guy im suppose to believe is the villain???

honestly i feel like part of the reason why LB's plotlines seem so bad and disconnected (and sometimes outright racist but that's another rant) and why darkles is disproportionately more violent and villainous in the later books is bc she didn't expect the darkling to be so popular and wanted to stick with her guns of making him the villain. but also wanted the money from aleks's popularity. but like you can't have ur cake and eat it too.

Well thank you for sending this ask! It's very sweet and very passionate. I'm glad you liked my post! I didn't put as much thought into it as some of my others lol. I kind of just talked. But it was nice to be able to finally talk about some of the problems I have with both her character and the fandom/author's perception of her.

HERE is the post this is referring to, in case anyone's wondering.

👀👀 You've hit the nail on the head for so many things, here!

Baghra is extremely emotionally unavailable, basically to the point of neglect. She's also verbally and physically abusive, traits which I doubt were only reserved for her students and not her son. Baghra claims she would do anything to protect him, but I've known a lot of parents who have that mindset and yet still harm their children because they think it's "good for them".

Aleksander stays at Baghra's side for years, and even when they're opposing each other she's never too far away from him. Idk if you've read the books but he does eventually hurt her. And as much as I don't like Baghra, I think his actions were horrid. But I'm also honestly kind of surprised it took him so long lmao.

Yeah I mean, in terms of isolation, let's not forget that she never wanted to introduce him to his father, either. Baghra's sense of eternity clouds a lot of her judgments on relationships, which means she views most people as dust and therefore teaches her son to as well. The problem with that is that he's a growing child, and he needs those social and emotional attachments for healthy development.

I would bet quite a bit of money that Baghra has either never told him she loves him or she has told him so few times it's practically forgettable.

And everything becomes more complicated because so many of Baghra's actions are understandable because of her life and her history, but the impacts they have on the people around her, especially Aleksander, are permanently damaging. And the fact that that's never gone over in critical depth in the books or how it's glossed over in fandom is just very disconcerting. Like, acknowledging Baghra's failings doesn't mean we're excusing Aleksander's actions, it just means we're holding Baghra liable for her own. Which the fandom should be doing, considering she's the epitome of an abusive parental figure.

And Alina trusting Baghra over Aleksander is even more confusing! Especially in the show!! This is the woman who beat her and abused her and tortured her friends when they tiny little children (and who probably still does so now that they're adults). This is the woman who mocks you and harasses you and insults you on a regular basis. Why does Baghra revealing she's Aleksander's mother make Alina change her mind?! Like fuck, I'd just feel bad for Aleksander. No wonder he kept it a secret, I would too! And that painting is enough evidence?! Really?! A random painting shown to you by this abusive mentor that's been making your life hell. That's what you're going to betray your new lover over?

The friends trying to harvest his bones thing is a good point, too. I think Aleksander, especially show Aleksander, is incredibly idealistic. I think he cares too much for others - those he's deemed worth his care (a sentiment given to him by Baghra). Despite everything she's tried to teach him about hiding and abandoning others and never caring and never doing anything to help or reach out or connect with people, Aleksander still continues to do so. It's likely because he never got it from Baghra growing up, and so is desperate for those emotional needs to be fulfilled elsewhere.

His turning point, when Baghra tells him it was understandable that those kids tried to kill him because the world is such a hard place for them - that's crucial. And the reason it's possible as a motivating factor is because of that idealism and that desire to help and that desire to be everything his mother isn't. Baghra tells him this trauma he just experienced was because of the oppression of his people, and instead of following her lead and accepting that, going into hiding and abandoning everybody to their misery, he goes I can do something about that. I can make it so this never happens again. Which is usually how trauma like that combines with one's core personality traits at a young age, especially when there's none of the essential support systems in place to aid in recovery (ie, the role Baghra should have been filling but wasn't, because she decided to exacerbate the problem instead).

And yeah, one of my biggest problems with the ham-fisted "beating you over the head with a sledgehammer of evil deeds" look-how-bad-this-character-is! portrayal of the Darkling in the later books comes from the impression I get that Bardugo doesn't trust her readers. She's so desperate to have us hate this character and think him an irredeemable villain, not trusting any of her readers to engage critically with a morally gray character, that it feels quite a bit like condescending fucking bullshit. Which ew, I know how to engage with literature, thanks.

She really does seem to look down on a large part of her fandom, and imo, the infantilization of the female characters in her books seems to carry over to her impression of most of her female readers as well. Which is why the Darkling's character arc gets fucking destroyed. But he's still a good cash grab, of course, so she'll shake his dead corpse in front of the fandom for money every time she wants something from it.

Also! Another reason I think her plotlines feel disconnected (I'm sorry Bardugo I respect you as a person, but shit-) is because the writing in SaB is just bad. I mean, nevermind the absolutely nauseating implications of the way she portrays the Grisha as a persecuted group who's situation is never actually fully addressed as it should be, considering Grisha rights is what her main villain is fighting for (imo for a series called the Grishaverse, LB seems to be pretty anti Grisha), but her characters and story alone are just wrong for each other. They don't fit together.

And the ending is one of the main pieces of evidence in that regard! You can’t say the ending where Alina isn’t Grisha anymore is her “going back to where she started” when she’s always been Grisha. She just didn’t know she was Grisha because she denied that part of herself that she was born with.

Alina is reluctant to move forward or change, she struggles with adapting, and she’s very set on the things she’s grown attached to throughout her life. She also has some latent prejudices against the Grisha, and so denies the possibility of being Grisha for those reasons as well.

Alina’s lack of powers in the beginning of her life because she willfully doesn’t learn about them to avoid change versus her lack of powers at the end of the book when she’s accepted them and then they’re stripped away from her by outer forces are two entirely separate circumstances. You can’t make a parallel about lost powers and lack of Grisha status bringing her back to the start when she was always Grisha and she always had powers and she simply refused to come to terms with it because of personal reasons.

The first situation is an internal conflict that indicates a story about growth and a journey of self acceptance. Denying herself the opportunity to learn about her heritage and to find acceptance with a group of people like her because she’s tied to the past and because of the way she was raised is the setup for a narrative that tackles unlearning prejudice and learning how to connect with a part of her identity that was denied her and learning how to grow independent and self assured. It’s the setup for a different story entirely. The second situation is an external conflict that centers around the ‘corrupting influence of power’... for some reason.

In a world where Grisha do not have social, political, or economic power and they are hunted, centering your heroine’s journey of self acceptance and growth around an external conflict about... the corrupting influence of power (in a group of people that don’t actually have any power?!) just doesn’t work. It is literally impossible to connect the two stories Bardugo is trying to push in Shadow and Bone without seriously damaging the main character’s developmental arc.

The only way a narrative like this would work, claiming that she has gone back to where she started, is either a) if the Grisha weren’t actually a persecuted group and instead were apart of the upper class, or b) if the one bad connection between the two instances is acknowledged - that Alina denied a part of herself crucial to self acceptance and growing up, and that losing her powers at the end has also denied her. It is a tragedy, not a happy ending.

Alina suffered because she didn’t use her powers. She grew sick. It was bad for her. This was not a resistance to 'the corruption of power and the burden of greed', it was her suffering because she couldn’t fully accept herself.

Framing the ending as a return to the beginning can’t be done if you don’t address how bad the beginning was for your main character. You brought her back to a bad point in her life. You regressed her. This should be a low point in her arc. It should be a problem that’s solved so she can finish developing organically or it should be something that is acknowledged as a tragedy in it’s own right, for the future the world (the writing) denied her.

This is a ramble and it makes no sense and I’m really sorry, but my point is that Bardugo put the wrong characters in the wrong story. The character arc required for organic development doesn’t match the story and intended message at all. The narrative doesn���t fit the cast. She's got two clashing stories attempting to work in tandem and she ends up with both conflicting messages that fans still can’t comprehend in her writing and an ending that doesn’t suit her main character to such an impossible degree that it’s almost laughable.

So yeah, there's a few reasons why I think the story and the plot feels so bad and disconnected. I hope you don't mind me making this answer so long! 😅 I was not expecting to write this much.