mars-paws

[mars-paws]

Terrible

[mars-paws]

Me when. Me when I find my moots on a discord server :0

[mars-paws]

Why am I procrastinating against taking the dayquill

it’s going to help me not feel like shit-

[mars-paws]

What fanfic writers say vs what they mean. Btw.

[mars-paws]

THIS IS SUFFERING

[mars-paws]

I…I have no words….

[mars-paws]

Grrr I hate being sick >:((( I can’t breather through my nose and I can’t feel my frickin mouth- and it makes me cough when I breathe through my mouth ever 2 seconds AUGAHSHAGAGSGA

[mars-paws]

im reading about cowboy phrases and sayings and like 95% of them are just solid life advice

[mars-paws]

“13 clear signs of trauma” and it’s all thirteen of all your defining traits

[mars-paws]

My autistic brother created a new family Christmas tradition

Okay, so last year, my mom bought this Christmas moose that she lovingly named Barry

This is him

Cute, right?

Well, for whatever reason only known to my brother, he decided that he wanted to put Barry in different rooms of our house and it usually scares the shit out of whomever happens upon Barry; usually the person who finds him is the person that my brother wanted to scare.

So far, Barry has been found

On our dining room table

On my dad's side of my parents' bed

In my parents' closet

Outside their bedroom door (at 5 in the morning and scared my mother shitless)

Near the kitchen door

Near my fucking bed

At the bottom of my sister's stairwell

In our bathroom

And down the hallway

This has gone on for 9 days and it doesn't seem to show signs of stopping. Most of the time we know who gets Barry because it's always followed with a very loud "FUCKING BARRY!!!!!"

My brother is the funniest fucking person I know.

[mars-paws]

tumblr when ur at home: heres some nature pics. heres this cat.

tumblr when you open it in public: H3RES MY LONG AWAITED CLIT REVEAL!! . HERES THIS GUYS ASS.

[mars-paws]

This is rlly uncomfy having all that in my throat :(

[mars-paws]

[mars-paws]

[mars-paws]

Bro I fucking love the DB Cooper case nothing about this whole situation sounds real. None of the passengers on the plane realized they were being hijacked until the plane landed two hours after it was supposed to and the fbi showed up with suitcases full of money. The note about the bomb almost went unnoticed because the flight attendant thought she was being sexually harassed so she didn't read it. One of the main suspects was the first trans woman in Washington to have a sex change operation. A reporter who was so dead set on his suspect that he brought him to court was so upset about being wrong that he went catatonic and was treated with electroshock therapy and it WORKED. There's been multiple "I'm DB Cooper" death confessions. He never even SAID his name was DB Cooper. Either he got away with a million bucks in today's money and the most iconic and harmless crime American history or he impaled himself on a pine tree while falling a zillion miles an hour in the dark while clutching duffel bags full of cash and either option is equally hilarious. He wore a clip on tie. He committed an act of sky piracy. What in the fucking looney toons

[mars-paws]

Hello bros and broettes. I’m going to bust. Respectfully

[mars-paws]