#thank you for being one of the 30 sickos......

[chronokos]

UR ARTSTYLE IS SO FREAKING YUMMY!!!! GRAAAH!!!! I'm watching intensely and I cannot wait for the day panthalassa becomes a real game... Unless it's not actually gonna be one, then I'll continue to stare at the pixels on my screen!! Yummy art!!! Yumyumyum!!!

aah, thank you very much! it's becoming more and more real as the days go on...i finished the script recently which is very exciting for me. i hope folks can enjoy it.

[sesamestreep]

there's something fiction about the way that reality's going

(read on AO3)

SUMMARY: It's bad enough that Foggy has to spend his Saturday morning giving bad news to some overly-ambitious campaign manager. It's unforgivable that he turns out to be hot, of all things. [AKA - The West Wing AU] A/N: here's part 1 of that west wing au i've been talking about writing for months. I put copious notes (including a mild content warning for the 90s as a time period in general) on AO3, so I'd recommend reading there if you want more info. big thanks to @firstelevens for talking me off several ledges during the writing, editing, and posting processes for this fic!

“You know what’s sick, Karen?” Foggy asks, as he rounds the corner of her desk.

“Sick like bad, like the flu?” she asks, not looking away from her computer. “Or sick like good, like a skateboard trick?”

“Sick like disgusting and perverted.”

“Ooh, I am not sure I want to know.”

“Too bad,” he says, as he tosses his duffel bag into his office. It collides with a filing cabinet, but doesn’t knock anything over, which is pretty good from this distance. “I have reached a new level of depravity.”

“Congratulations?”

“Thank you. Ask me how.”

“Must I?”

“Yes.”

Karen sighs. “How did you reach a new level of depravity?”

“I found myself thinking, while flying with the President on Air Force One, ‘god, this sucks!’”

“That’s your new level of depravity?” she asks, unimpressed.

“Karen, I’m telling you I’m bored of flying on Air Force One! The President’s private plane is boring to me. The novelty—of Air Force One—is gone!”

“And that’s all?”

“‘That’s all’?! Karen, I—”

“I heard you the first twelve times," she says. "You’re a real sicko, Foggy, I get it.”

“This revelation means less to you than I anticipated,” Foggy says, idly fiddling with the things on her desk. 

“Sorry to disappoint you,” she says, filing something. “I kind of thought you picked up a new, exciting fetish while in Pakistan.”

“Unfortunately, no. At least, not that I’m aware of.”

“There’s always next time,” she replies. “Did you bring me back anything?”

“Also no. In my defense, you didn’t tell me you wanted a new, exciting fetish while I was there.”

“A good boss would know without having to be told.”

“Oh, no. They’ll take away my ‘world’s greatest boss’ mug for this!”

“You don’t have one of those,” she says, frowning.

“And whose fault is that?”

“Looks like we’ve both got some work to do,” she says, turning her attention back to her computer.

“Speaking of that, what are you doing here on a Saturday?”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Almost always, but in this case…”

Karen looks at him like he’s sprouted a second head. “Foggy, you have a meeting.”

“I don’t schedule meetings for Saturday mornings,” he says. “And certainly not after I’ve been away in Islamabad with the President for three days and on a plane for 15 hours.”

“Yes, but this is Marci’s meeting,” Karen says. “The one you promised to cover for her, since her cousin had to move her bachelorette weekend up two weeks to—”

“This weekend. Fuck!” Foggy closes his eyes. “Oh, I should not have agreed to this! This was so stupid. I’m so jet lagged right now and I’ve been wearing the same suit for like two days.”

She wrinkles her nose. “Ew, why?”

“I packed in a hurry and I miscounted—you know what, forget it! I would still smell like airplane, regardless.”

She steps around her desk to put a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sure it’s not even that—Good god! That is not what airplanes are supposed to smell like!”

Foggy sniffs his shirt and winces. He was kind of hoping he was just being dramatic. “Pakistan is a very populous country,” he says, weakly. “And we were in the capitol, so lots of people, in close quarters…”

“So, unless this guy has a sinus infection, he’s going to be able to smell you from down the hall.”

“Karen, please! I am begging you…”

“Do you have another suit?”

“Not one that smells better !” Foggy exclaims. “Do I have time to go out and buy a new suit?”

“Your meeting is in 30 minutes, and I’m guessing you still need to read the briefing packet Marci left you, so you know what this guy wants to talk about.”

“This is the guy from the Bryant campaign? Mitchell…something?”

“ Matthew Murdock, yes.”

“I know what he wants to talk about,” Foggy says, waving a hand at her.

“Oh, just read the damn packet!”

“I need to find something to wear that doesn’t smell like I walked here from Islamabad, okay?”

“I’ll ask around,” Karen replies. “You prep for the meeting.”

“You’re going to ask around ?”

“Yes."

“To see if someone in the building has a suit I can borrow? 

“Foggy!”

“I feel like you’re vastly underestimating how weird of a request that is!” 

“Not all men are as suspicious as you.”

“Most men are more suspicious than me, firstly,” he says. “And secondly, even if you found someone in this office to accept this absurd request—on a Saturday, no less!—suits are supposed to be tailored. I’m going to look weird in someone else’s suit!”

“What’s worse: looking weird in an ill-fitting suit or smelling weird in this one?”

“Maybe he will have a sinus infection,” Foggy muses.

“Yes, because praying for that is less weird than my plan,” Karen says, with an eye roll. “Wait, you have a gym bag!”

“In my office? Yeah…”

“And last week, that budget meeting got rescheduled and you couldn’t go to the gym after work because it was already closed when the meeting wrapped up!”

“Yes! Why are we excited about this?”

Karen’s practically bouncing on her feet. “Because if the bag is still here but you didn’t go to the gym, that means the clothes are clean!”

“You want me to meet with the manager for a congressional campaign in my gym clothes?” Foggy asks.

“Your clean gym clothes!”

“I can’t meet him in my gym clothes!”

“Why not?”

“It’s unprofessional!”

“It’s Saturday! You’re…laid back! You’re chillin’!”

Foggy shakes his head at her, because it’s extremely clear to him that she’s never said that word in another context before in her life. “Just chillin’ at the White House! Now there’s a TV show I’d watch!”

“ Foggy !”

“It could be like this President’s version of FDR’s fireside chats! You’re a genius, Karen!”

“I’m being helpful and you’re being such a dick about it,” she says, crossing her arms over her chest.

“You’re right,” he says, putting his hands on her shoulders in a conciliatory gesture. “And I appreciate it. But I can’t wear gym clothes to this meeting.”

“It wouldn’t be that weird! You could come up with an excuse—”

“No, I understand. It’s just—I barely look good in a suit. I can trick people into taking me seriously in a suit. If this guy sees me in basketball shorts, he’ll never take me seriously.”

“You look good in a suit, no qualifiers,” Karen says, firmly. “And honestly, it would probably be charming to him if you were in gym clothes. And lastly, you are the deputy chief of staff at the White House, Foggy. People take you seriously. You are serious.”

“That was wall-to-wall bald faced lies, but I do love you for it,” he says, giving her shoulders a squeeze. “And if I’m being honest with you, I’m nervous about the optics of dressing casually for a meeting where I know I have to give someone bad news.”

Karen frowns. “What’s going on?”

“The campaign this guy is running, it’s Bryant’s campaign in the 21st district in New York State. It’s a district that, historically, a Republican always wins. From what I know, and what Marci’s told me, this guy wants more help from us, and more funding from the DNC, to get Bryant elected instead.”

“But we’re not going to do that?” Karen asks.

“No, we’re not.”

“Why not?”

“Because Bryant sucks,” Foggy admits, with a small, mirthless laugh. 

“Worse than the Republican who’s running?”

“He’s the incumbent and we know what to do with him, at least.”

“Still,” she interjects, frowning deeper, “it’s not…great…”

“It’s political maneuvering to be sure,” Foggy says, “but that’s the business we’re in, like it or not.”

“Yeah, so…”

“So, showing up to this meeting looking ready for an aerobics class and then telling this guy he’s up a creek and the DNC isn’t going to throw him a paddle might be a bad look. At least if my suit’s wrinkled and I smell bad, he can write it off as me being an overworked staffer.”

“Which, you are.”

“Exactly!”

“Yeah, okay. I get it,” Karen says, moving back to her desk. 

“I have a few minutes?”

“Yeah, read the thing on your desk.”

“I don’t need to—”

“Marci wrote it so you could—”

“Marci’s secretary wrote it, and you know that.”

“And Marci’s secretary’s work has less value than Marci’s because…?”

“Ah, okay,” Foggy says, holding his hands up in surrender. “I’ll read the thing.”

“Do you need coffee?” 

“Desperately.”

She nods. “Okay, I’ll get you some, so you can read.”

“Thank you. And while you’re at it, see if Jeri’s secretary is in and ask—”

“Excuse me,” a voice behind them says, and they both startle.

“Hi, can I help you?” Karen asks, automatically and politely, as she turns to face the man.

“I hope so,” he says. “I’m looking for Karen Page.”

“Then I can definitely help you,” she replies, cheerfully. “That’s me.”

“Oh, excellent,” the man says, offering her his hand. “I’m Matt Murdock, from the Bryant campaign. I have a meeting with Mr. Nelson at 10.”

“You’re…from the Bryant campaign?” Karen asks, hesitantly. 

Foggy knows how she feels. Absolutely nothing about this guy says ‘campaign manager’ except for the quality of his suit. He’s so glaringly handsome in a professional-athlete-who-also-gets-modeling-gigs kind of way that it takes Foggy a full minute to clock that he’s wearing sunglasses indoors (something a professional athlete/part-time model would do) and carrying a white cane. Bryant’s campaign manager is blind. That’s almost as unexpected as him being hot.

“Yes, I know. I’m a little bit early,” he says, either willfully or obliviously attributing Karen’s surprise to the wrong thing. 

Karen recovers quickly, though. “Not to worry,” she says, finally taking his hand and giving it a polite shake. “We appreciate your punctuality.”

“Well, I appreciate that handshake,” Matt offers, charmingly. “Very commanding, very firm!”

Much to Foggy’s amusement and vague annoyance, Karen lets out a hopelessly charmed laugh at that. “Thank you, I—uh, I do my best.”

Foggy gives her a wide-eyed look, and she gives him a helpless and slightly embarrassed one back. He shakes his head before inclining it towards Matt, who either hasn’t noticed him or is avoiding acknowledging him, for whatever reason.

“Would you be so kind as to let your boss know I’m here?”

“That, uh, won’t be necessary,” she says. Karen never stammers. This is so funny. “He’s, um—well, he’s right here! Foggy, are you ready for Mr. Murdock?”

Foggy does his best to hide his smile. “Am I ever!” he says, gamely, and steps forward to shake his hand. “Franklin Nelson, at your service. Everyone calls me Foggy, so you should too!”

This, somehow, catches Matt off-guard, which given his otherwise smooth and unflappable exterior, is kind of impressive. He very clearly expected to wait to be seen, and possibly hoped to have more time to flirt with Foggy’s assistant, judging by the looks of things. 

“Hello,” Matt says, stiff with awkwardness. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Same here,” Foggy replies. “Delighted to make your acquaintance! I am holding out my hand for you to shake, for the record.”

“Oh, right. I’m so sorry,” he says, as he hurries to take it. 

There’s an awkward moment as he sort of guesstimates where Foggy’s hand is before making contact and Foggy’s left to wonder if he could have made that less weird somehow and feel slightly embarrassed that he doesn’t know the protocol for this situation. And he’s already feeling pretty embarrassed that he smells like a 15 hour flight in front of this very handsome stranger, who can probably smell him even more than the average person. Unless that stuff about depriving one sense making the others stronger is bullshit, which it might be. Foggy’s tempted to ask but that seems likely to make the situation more awkward still.

Matt’s palm is a little rough in places, which is kind of nice. Foggy’s is, he knows, not even a little bit rough. He’s got the smooth baby soft hands of someone who has always been an indoor kid and then grew up to be a lawyer. No calluses to speak of whatsoever. It makes him wonder where Matt, likely a lawyer himself, got his from. And now he’s been holding this hot guy’s hand for too long. Perfect.

“Well, why don’t you step into my office?” he asks, dropping it quickly.

“You’re sure? I know I got here before our appointment.”

“No trouble at all,” Foggy says, with more enthusiasm than he feels. “Do you want anything to drink?”

“Oh, yes,” Karen pipes up. “We have coffee, tea, soda, water—”

“I’m good,” Matt says, with another charming smile in her direction. Foggy’s still waiting for his. “Thank you, Karen.”

“Yes, thank you, Karen,” Foggy says brightly, and she sticks her tongue out at him.

“Actually, Foggy, could I borrow you for a second?”

“Absolutely.” To Matt, he says, “You can go right in and I’ll be with you shortly. There’s a chair in front of the desk, where…chairs normally are in an office.”

This, for whatever reason, makes Matt snort in amusement, which is somehow better than getting a smile out of him. “Yes, I think I can manage,” he replies, and moves towards Foggy’s office.

“Great. Be right there!” Once he’s gone, Foggy leans in close to Karen. “What’s up?”

“Just wanted to point out that you should have listened to me and worn your gym clothes after all,” she says, flipping through a file on her desk disinterestedly.

“Yes, yes, I know. Karen Page the Wise, let her instincts never be doubted again,” Foggy says, miming genuflection.

“Do you still want a coffee?”

“I’ll grab it when I’m done. Hopefully, this won’t take long,” he says. He leans in even closer and drops his voice to a whisper. “By the way, is this guy a real campaign manager or is he just auditioning to play one on TV?”

“ Foggy ,” Karen exclaims, with an eye roll. 

“I’m sorry, but he’s, like, stupid handsome!”

“I hadn’t noticed,” she sniffs, feigning disinterest.

“Uh huh,” Foggy says, unimpressed. “Well, he noticed your firm handshake, that’s for sure.”

“You really are more perverted than when you left, aren’t you?” Karen says, amused. “Now, get in there and disappoint that beautiful man.”

“Lucky for him, that is something I’m very good at.”

Karen snorts at that, and returns to her work. Foggy goes back to his office and is pleased to see that Matt has managed to find a seat.

“Sorry about that,” he announces, as he settles into the chair behind his desk. “We’re a little bit scattered this morning. I just got back from Islamabad about twenty minutes ago.”

“Well, I appreciate your time.”

“Don’t mention it. Listen, Michael…”

“Matthew,” he says, surely seeing through the power play but not pointing it out. “Matt, if it’s all the same.”

“Right, sorry. Hey, at least, I knew it was one of the gospels from the Bible, right?”

The unbothered, generically pleasant expression on his face doesn't falter as he says, evenly, “There is no gospel according to Michael in the Bible.”

“Maybe not in yours,” Foggy replies, hoping he covers his nerves well enough that Matt can’t hear anything in his voice. “There’s a Saint Michael, though, right?”

“Yes,” Matt says, cracking a barely-there smile. “He’s an archangel, too.”

“An angel and a saint? Sounds like a lot of work. What’s his deal?”

“His ‘deal’?”

“Yeah, like what’s he the saint of?”

“Oh, like his patronage?”

“Yes,” Foggy says, snapping his fingers. “Like is he the guy to pray to when I’ve got a hangnail or a flat tire?”

“No,” Matt laughs, shaking his head. “He’s considered the patron saint of police officers, the military, paramedics, the protector of the Jewish people and the Vatican, as well as Germany, the Ukraine, and Brussels.”

“Wow, can you do that for all the saints?”

“A good amount of them,” Matt replies. He shrugs before adding, “I went to Catholic school.”

“That must come in handy.”

“You’d really be surprised how little it comes up,” he says, drolly. 

“Really?" Foggy asks. "Not even when you have a flat tire?”

“I would probably call AAA first, in that scenario. The saints tend to take their time.”

“Solid point.”

“Listen, Mr. Nelson—”

“God, please, like I said: call me ‘Foggy’. I’d do the classic ‘Mr. Nelson is my father’ bit but I’m pretty sure no one calls him that either.”

“‘Foggy?’ Really?” Matt repeats, incredulously. 

“Yes, it’s—not important why. It’s just—it’s what everyone calls me.”

“Fine,” he says, leaning forward in his seat. “Foggy, then. As much as I appreciate the opportunity to show off the benefits of my Catholic upbringing and education, I didn’t come here to talk to you about the patronages of various saints.”

“Yes, I knew that, actually. I’m sorry. I was stalling.”

Matt slumps back in his seat at that. “You’re going to tell me you can’t help me.”

“Listen, if this had been my meeting from the start, I would have told you not to bother coming down.”

“In your colleague’s defense, she did tell me that.”

“Well, then, I’m surprised you did it anyway.”

“You wouldn’t be, if you knew me better,” Matt replies, with so much confidence it borders on cocky. He gets five percent hotter in Foggy’s mental estimation from that alone. 

He clears his throat. “Your candidate is running for a seat in New York’s 21st district. Democrats never win in the 21st. It’s simple math.”

“Yes, historically, this district goes red in elections, but that doesn’t mean, with the right democrat and proper funding from the DNC—”

“That’s true,” Foggy allows.

“So, what’s the issue?”

“You don’t have the right democrat.”

“I…what?”

“I’m saying, Bryant isn’t the democrat to flip the 21st.”

“According to whom?”

“According to me.”

“Is there anyone else I can talk to, then?” Matt asks, clearly keeping his patience on a very tight leash if the state of his jaw is any indication. Not that Foggy is admiring his jawline at a time like this.

“Unfortunately, no.”

“Foggy, I came down here—”

“A waste of time, as promised, but hey, at least you made a new friend!”

“You and I are not friends.”

“I meant you and Karen," Foggy says, blithely, "but ouch.”

Matt's jaw somehow clenches even tighter. “I want to talk to someone who’s going to take me seriously!”

“You are talking to someone who’s taking you seriously,” he says, earnestly. “Trust me, Matt. It’s not you, it’s your candidate.”

“Well, that’s a new one,” he says, deflating.

“Bryant is a centrist—”

“It’s a Republican stronghold!” Matt exclaims. “Who else has a chance to flip the seat? Do you want to put a diehard socialist on the ballot instead and see how they do?”

“More than anything in the world, yes,” Foggy replies. “But this isn’t about what I want.”

“The incumbent is a right wing clown and he lends legitimacy to their rhetoric. I think the country would be better off with him out of a job. I’m sorry that the White House and the DNC disagree, but—” 

“You’re right.”

“I’m right?!”

“You’re right,” Foggy says. “With an asterisk.”

“Oh, boy.”

“Just a tiny footnote, really. He is a right wing clown, and he should be voted out of office, but he’s also a boon to the DNC.”

“How exactly does that make sense?”

“Every time he opens his mouth, the DNC pulls a quote, puts it on a direct mail campaign, and raises tens of thousands of dollars off of their members’ outrage. As long as we keep him in front of a microphone, we can basically print money for ourselves.”

Matt rolls his eyes. “What a reassuring thing to hear from a representative of my government.”

Foggy laughs, unexpectedly, which just makes Matt glare in his general direction. “Technically, we are the only ones who should be printing money, but that’s beside the point.”

“Are we at least approaching the point sometime soon?”

“You’re familiar with the phrase ‘better the devil you know…’”

Matt sighs. “‘Than the devil you don’t’. Yes.”

“Bryant’s the devil we don’t know. Dashwood’s the one we do.”

“Bryant is a democrat, Foggy.”

“Barely, and I don’t want it to be my job for the next six and a half years to make sure he’s not going to be the swing vote on every measure we want to get passed through the House. And it will be my job, Matt.”

“Well, if you keep selling out viable democrats like this, I don’t think you can count on re-election as a matter of course like you just did, so let’s call it two and a half years to be safe.”

Foggy leans forward onto his forearms. “Sweetheart, you don’t have a viable democrat on your hands, and that’s the nicest way anyone in this building is going to put it, so let’s quit while we’re ahead.”

“Easy for you to say,” Matt replies, standing. Foggy mirrors him. “I appreciate the condescension, by the way. No one’s called me ‘sweetheart’ in a long time.”

“No trouble at all,” Foggy says. “Feel free to stop by anytime you need your ego stroked.”

Matt laughs, or really huffs, putting his hands on his hips. He’s either getting a second wind on this argument or they’re about to get into a fistfight. He might have made that last retort too flirty. Some guys, by which he does mean most straight guys, will really take any opportunity. Luckily, a knock at the door cuts their standoff short.

“Foggy, the President wants anybody who’s available in the Oval Office in five,” Marci says as she barrels in without waiting, before her eyes land on Matt. “Oh, sorry to interrupt.”

“Marci, this is Matt Murdock, from the Bryant campaign,” Foggy says, begrudgingly. “Matt, this is Marci Stahl, deputy communications director. I believe your original meeting was supposed to be with her.”

“Yes. Hi,” Matt says, cheerfully enough, but the set of his shoulders remains tense.

“Matt, so nice to meet you,” she trills, giving Foggy a wide-eyed look over his shoulder as they shake hands. Of course she immediately clocked how attractive he is. Sometimes he thinks that an unfortunate side effect of them dating and then staying friends for so long is that they basically have the same brain. “I’m so sorry for sticking you with Foggy here. There were some scheduling issues with my calendar.”

“Not to worry,” Matt says, tightly. “Foggy’s taken excellent care of me.”

Marci purses her lips in amusement. “Isn’t he just the best?” she says, grinning at Foggy sadistically. “If I had my way, I’d foist all my downer meetings on him, because he always handles people so gently. Not my strong suit, I’m afraid.”

Foggy rolls his eyes, but Matt beats him to the punch. “‘Downer meetings’?” he asks, deceptively pleasant.

“Yes, well, it’s a pity about Bryant, but you’re young, as I can now see. You’ll have other campaigns, ones you can actually win.”

“We haven’t technically lost this one yet.”

Marci gives Foggy a look, before shaking her head. “So true,” she says, giving Matt’s arm a squeeze. “Anyway! Safe travels! Foggy, like I said, five minutes.”

“I’m in the middle of a meeting,” he replies, annoyed.

“It’s the Cruz case.”

“That’s going to—”

“It came back 5-3 against,” she says, cutting him off with a significant look at Matt. “That’s why I canceled my trip. We’re all hands on deck.”

Foggy sighs, but only because it would be inappropriate to swear. “Okay.”

“Five minutes.”

“I said, ‘okay’.”

Marci nods and departs in her usual cloud of Chanel perfume and hyper competence, her heels clicking down the hallway until the sound fades completely. Foggy rubs his face, thinking miserably about how this is just the beginning of what will most likely be a very long, bad day. He’s going to need to send Karen to his apartment to get him some clothes. He’s going to need twelve coffees, ideally right now, but he’s got to deal with Matt first. When he looks over at him, he’s standing there, shell shocked.

“I’m sorry about that,” he says, because he honestly is. “She’s—it’s not always like this.”

Matt seems to spring back into action like a spell has been lifted. “It’s fine,” he says, picking up his briefcase and his stick. “You have to get going.”

“It’s not—”

“Don’t say it’s not important, for my benefit. It sounds important.”

“I can walk you out,” Foggy says, coming around the desk towards him.

“I can manage on my own,” Matt says, not unkindly but not meekly either. The implication that he wants to end this interaction sooner rather than later is barely implied. 

“Of course. It was, uh, lovely to meet you.”

“Sure,” he replies, not reciprocating the sentiment but extending his hand as they pause in front of Karen’s desk. Foggy takes it and gives him a firm handshake. 

“Karen, could you—?"

“I’m fine,” Matt interrupts. “Thank you, though. Karen, a pleasure.”

“You too,” Karen offers. “The hallway behind you leads right to the exit. You’ll need to sign out with security.”

“Thank you,” he says, and departs without further fanfare.

“How’d he take it?” Karen asks Foggy, once he’s gone.

“Super well,” Foggy chirps. “In fact, we’re thinking this summer for the wedding.”

“That’s fast,” Karen says, barely hiding her smile.

“What can I say? When you know you know.” He sighs deeply. “Marci told you about the Supreme Court thing?”

“Yeah. You want me to go grab you a change of clothes from your place?”

“Yes, please. You need my keys?”

“I have your spare still,” Karen says, as she gets up and puts on her coat. “Need anything else while I’m out?”

“The world’s largest coffee, with as many espresso shots as the law allows.”

“Got it,” she replies with a nod. She’s already on her way out when he grabs her by the elbow to stop her.

“Am I, like, the world’s biggest asshole?” he asks, earnestly. “And be honest, because I feel like the world’s biggest asshole right now.”

“You’re not,” Karen says, immediately, squeezing his arm. “You’re the best person I know, but you’re jet lagged and overtired and stinky and now you have to spend the rest of your day talking about the death penalty. That would put anyone in a bad mood.”

“Yeah,” Foggy says. “Thanks.”

He lets her go, then, because they’ve all got work to do, but her words don’t reassure him like they usually would.

Foggy waits on the sidewalk out in front of St. Patrick’s the next morning with ten minutes to spare before the 10 AM mass gets out. He finds himself wishing he had cigarettes, which he only ever wants when he’s nervous and needs something to do with his hands. He’s complained about this before, unwisely, with his mother in earshot, which had led to her snapping at him to take up knitting if he needs something productive to do with his hands. The worst fight he can ever remember having with her was when she found cigarettes in his room when he was home from college once. What is it about being within spitting distance of a Catholic church that brings up all his repressed guilt like that?

He probably could have brought coffee, but he’s not sure if Matt declined yesterday to be polite or if he genuinely doesn’t drink it. Either way, Foggy couldn’t begin to guess how he’d take it, so it’s probably better to just skip it entirely. He doesn’t need to bribe him, and he doesn’t need anything to occupy his hands. He’s senior staff at the goddamn White House. He doesn’t need to be nervous.

Over his shoulder, he hears the sound of voices starting to drift over from the doors and of footsteps on the stairs. When he glances over, he sees crowds starting to form at the entrance. He remembers, suddenly, from a few christenings he was forced to attend for various cousins, how much people like to stand around and gab after mass and hopes that, by virtue of not being at his own church, Matt won’t be stuck talking to a bunch of old ladies for too long.

Thankfully, it’s only a few minutes later when he emerges from the crowd, easy to spot with his glasses and his stick, head down and separate. Foggy hesitates for a second, worried this will be an intolerable intrusion on something, well, sacred, but he did go out of his way to talk to him. It will be even less excusable if he doesn’t go through with it.

Matt’s head swivels in the correct direction when he hears his name called and Foggy would guess he’s good at identifying voices, both in general and in his line of work, where schmoozing and networking are so essential. Matt’s already at a disadvantage, not knowing people by sight, so he can only imagine he’s found a way to compensate for it. He’s guessing he knows who it is before Foggy even says, “on your right,” and approaches him.

“Foggy?” Matt asks, and he’s not sure if he’s guessing or just expressing surprise.

“Hi,” he says, and it comes out weirdly shy, because of course it does. Matt’s still dressed nicely, like he was yesterday, though he’s ditched the tie and thrown a sweater over his dress shirt instead. It’s like he knows about Foggy’s childhood crush on Mr. Rogers. 

“Hi,” Matt says, with a laugh. “Did we—don’t tell me this is your church.”

“Yes, I moonlight as an organist at St. Patrick’s. Just for the tips, though.”

“I—what?”

“Sorry, I’m kidding. I don’t go to church here. I went to see you at your hotel, I was hoping to catch you before you checked out, and the receptionist said I’d just missed you and that you’d gone to church.”

“She told you where to find me?”

“No, I guessed. I mean, St. Patrick’s is the closest Catholic church—you mentioned Catholic school yesterday, so I figured it was the best bet—and of course, it’s, you know, historic and beautiful, with all that stained glass and the, um…”

Matt tips his head to the side, considering him as he fumbles for words. He looks amused, at least, and not deeply offended, which is probably a good sign. He also looks like he’s waiting for Foggy to admit defeat, which is never going to happen.

“The acoustics are probably also good,” he finishes, pathetically, and Matt laughs, not like he did yesterday, all guarded and cynical with disappointment. He laughs big and unrestrained and maybe even delighted. Foggy gets the sense that he’s a little surprised by it himself.

“Yes, the acoustics were wonderful,” he says, and his eyes are crinkling attractively at the corners.

“I’m an idiot,” Foggy says, in the direction of his shoes. He doesn’t need to hide a blush from Matt, he figures, but he does it anyway.

“No, that was…” Matt takes his time searching for the word, and Foggy’s heart races. He shakes his head, helplessly. “‘Acoustics.’ You're cute.”

“I…” Foggy has fully lost his train of thought. He tries to remember a single time he has said something coherent in his entire life and fails. His brain has shut down, possibly permanently and forever.

“Sorry, that came out wrong," Matt clarifies, after a moment's pause. "What I meant was, that was a cute thing to say.”

The part of Foggy that was wondering if it would be weird to ask a guy who just got out of church if he was, perhaps, a friend of Dorothy immediately withers and dies on the spot. That was the straightest point of clarification he’s ever witnessed in his life.

“Well,” Foggy says, remarkably normally after the emotional journey he just went on, “you don’t know this, since you can’t see, but you were right the first time. I am adorable.”

Matt, thankfully, laughs at that too. “I’ll defer to your expertise on the matter.”

“I appreciate that.”

“So, you were looking for me at my hotel?”

“Yes!”

“Can I ask why?”

“I—right. That is the sort of thing that requires explanation.”

“Yes, it is,” Matt says, patiently.

“I wanted to…apologize for yesterday,” Foggy says, letting the words flow out on an exhale. “You didn’t catch any of us on our best day, and while nothing I said to you was factually incorrect or inaccurate to our position, I feel like you weren’t treated with the respect you deserve and I really regret that. None of that is how we do things, and it’s not who we are. I hope, at my best, it’s not who I am, either.”

Matt doesn’t bother to hide his surprise. After a moment, he says, “I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t worry about it. I fully acknowledge that I ambushed you—at a church, of all places—so I’ll just…”

“I appreciate it,” Matt says, suddenly. “The apology, not the ambush. Although, I guess they’re sort of intertwined at this point…”

“Sure,” Foggy laughs.

“You really didn’t have to—”

“I felt bad. It was badly done, and I wanted to try to make it right.”

“Still, I’ve been in professional politics for almost a decade now, and I can count the number of heartfelt apologies I’ve received on one hand. It’s not the sort of thing everyone does.”

“Well, it’s a thing I do, when I’m wrong. And I was. I’m genuinely sorry.”

Matt acknowledges this with another tilt of his head. “You weren’t wrong about everything, unfortunately.”

Foggy frowns, trying to parse what this means. “I’m not sure I—oh my god! Matt!”

He winces. “Do not gloat!”

“I’m not!” Foggy practically shouts. “I won’t. I promise! But, if I’m understanding you correctly, you know?”

“About Bryant? Of course I do! I work for him!”

“That begs the question of why?”

“Why do I work for him?”

“Yes!”

“I’m not in politics just for the love of it, Foggy. I’m a professional political operative, I need the work!”

“Yeah, but Bryant?”

Matt makes a face at him. “Do you imagine there’s a seller’s market out there for blind campaign managers?”

“No, but—” Foggy pauses and really considers this. Matt keeps things upbeat, from what he can tell, brushing off references to his disability easily enough by all appearances, but it must actually be brutal out there for him. “No, you’re right. It’s got to be tough. Even for someone as good as you.”

“You don’t have to say that.”

“I’m not saying it to flatter you. Considering you’re working in a district that virtually always votes red, and you’ve got a dud for a candidate, your numbers are very impressive. I mean, unless you’re handing out headshots at campaign stops, I don’t understand how you’re doing it at all.”

“Headshots?” Matt asks. “Of me?”

“Okay, don’t you dare try some sort of aw, shucks routine with me. I know you know you’re handsome.”

Matt laughs, tucking his chin in a remarkably shy gesture from such a confident asshole. “That’s a good one, though. Headshots. I’ll have to write that down.” 

“Maybe the 21st district will flip after all.”

“Okay, I know I’m not that handsome.”

Foggy wants to argue the point, but he’s also done enough embarrassing himself for one day and it’s not even noon yet. He’s got to stick to the matter at hand. “Listen, what I said yesterday—”

“Consider it forgotten. Really.”

“No, uh, what I said reflects the opinion and the decision of the White House, even if the delivery left something to be desired. But the administration, specifically the President, wanted me to be clear with you that, Bryant aside, if you ever found a viable candidate, we’d get interested in a hurry. We remain very impressed by your work, if not your candidate.”

Matt appears intrigued by this. “Did anyone happen to specify a better candidate by name?”

“Well, the suggestion was raised that you might fit the bill.”

“Raised by whom?”

“That I couldn’t say,” Foggy demurs, and Matt does that little head tilt again, so he mimes locking his mouth and throwing away the key before he realizes Matt can’t see or appreciate it. It’s also a very dorky thing to do, so that might be for the best. 

“You want me to run for office?” Matt asks, instead.

“It’s just a suggestion,” Foggy says, putting his hands up defensively. “Something to think about for the future.”

“The distant, distant future, maybe…”

Foggy shrugs. “Sure. Either way, you’ve made some friends in D.C. this time around. Your next campaign will be easier, I promise.”

“Well, I have to make it through this one first,” Matt says, grimly, running a hand over his jaw in distress. God, even distressed, he’s still ridiculously handsome.

“Hey, if all else fails, you can always pray to Saint Thomas More.”

Matt gives him a baffled look. “What?”

“You know,” Foggy says, putting his hands in his pockets, casually, “the patron saint of statesmen and politicians.”

Matt’s smile of delight and comprehension is like the sun coming out from behind a cloud, which is a sentiment Foggy would have dismissed as overly and unnecessarily poetic and saccharine probably twenty minutes ago. His words to Karen yesterday— when you know, you know— come back to haunt him and it is so unfair and yet completely expected that this would happen to him, of all people. He’s known this guy for probably thirty minutes total and still, he knows Matt is special. That this is the beginning of something, even though it probably isn’t going to be what he wishes it could be. This is, bizarrely, a talent of his. He knows when someone is going to be important to him, usually right from the start. He knew it with Marci. He knew it with Karen. He knows it now too. 

Son of a bitch, he thinks. This might hurt.

“Where did you learn that?” Matt asks, his voice gone kind of breathless around his smile.

“Not to brag, but I have access to many things in my line of work,” he replies, trying to stay casual, despite the revelations, “including several volumes of the Encyclopedia Britannica.”

“Fancy,” Matt says, with a laugh. “I appreciate the tip.”

“I couldn’t find the saint to pray to specifically for car trouble, but Saint Christopher or Saint Frances of Rome are the patron saints of drivers and Saint Catherine of Alexandria is the patron saint of mechanics, so any of them would do in a pinch. In case you were wondering.”

“Saint Christopher,” Matt replies, “is the patron saint of all travelers, actually.”

“Show-off!" Foggy exclaims. "You didn’t even have to look that up!”

“Every Catholic household has a medal or something for Saint Christopher kicking around,” he says, with a smile. “You didn’t stand a chance, I’m afraid to say.”

“What gave me away?”

“Oh, everything. I can spot a Protestant at fifty paces, especially the Christmas-and-Easter variety. It’s like the first thing they teach you in Catholic school.”

“Sure. I mean, what else are they going to do with all that time they’re not teaching you how to put condoms on bananas?”

Matt laughs another one of those big, unexpected laughs, almost staggering back with the force of it. “Yeah, abstinence only makes for very short lesson plans.”

“I’m guessing you all managed to figure out the basics anyway, just from the CDC data I’ve seen,” Foggy says, fully blushing all over with the pride of making Matt laugh and his own stupidity at bringing up Sex Ed in a moment like this. Sometimes he just truly cannot stop himself. 

Before Matt can confirm or deny that he knows how to use a condom (seriously, what’s the matter with his brain?) Foggy rushes to add, “Also, thank you for giving me the credit of going to church on Easter. My mother will be pleased to know I’m fooling people into thinking I’m a nice young man, rather than being obvious with my true heathen nature.”

“You are a nice young man,” Matt says, softly, with the appearance of having sobered slightly. Maybe Foggy shouldn’t have called himself a heathen. Maybe he was being too obvious, the coded aspect of the code word too unfortunately crackable. Oh, well. “At least, I assume you’re young? I’m guessing, from the sound of your voice.”

“I am. I mean, I guess I am. Is 34 young?”

“For the deputy chief of staff for the White House?” Matt asks, eyebrows raised. “Yes! Are you serious?”

“Well, then.”

“You’re my age.”

“And?”

“You’re very successful.”

“I got lucky," Foggy says, with a shrug. "I was in the right place at the right time. That’s all.”

“Yes, because being in the right place at the right time is something to scoff at in our line of work,” Matt says, looking unimpressed. “And definitely completely negates the fact of you being good at your job.”

“I don’t know if I’d call that a fact, per se…”

“I’ll settle for it being my professional opinion, then, and people generally pay me good money for that kind of thing.”

“Well, I left my checkbook at home, unfortunately,” Foggy quips, and is rewarded with a sharp, almost shark-like smile from Matt. “All I can offer you is my gratitude. I mean, unless—?”

“Yes?” Matt asks, when he doesn’t immediately finish his thought.

“Well, you probably have to catch a flight or a train or something soon, right?”

He nods, brow furrowed. “Yeah, my train is out of Union Station at 1:30. Why?”

“Nothing, I—I’m sure you’ve got to—and I should, probably—”

“You should probably just say whatever it was you were initially going to ask me,” Matt says, head tipped, once again, with interest.

“Right,” Foggy laughs. This is so, so stupid. “I was going to say, if you had time, I could buy you a cup of coffee, to complete my apology for yesterday and to chip away at your consulting fee.”

Matt visibly hesitates, which, of course he does. Foggy made the world’s worst first impression and insulted him yesterday. He apologized for that, sure, but Matt’s still probably not pleased about the DNC’s decision and this wasted trip to D.C. to talk about it. One pleasant conversation doesn’t make them friends or anything. 

“That's not necessary," he eventually replies, though not with a great deal of conviction, which is strange. With anyone else, Foggy would assume they wanted him to insist, but somehow he has trouble imagining that's the case here. "I'm sure you'd like to get back to your Sunday plans."

"My Sunday plans are this conversation and going into the office to debate the finer points of the death penalty. You have a pretty low opinion of yourself if you think your company ranks lower than that."

Matt seems to relax at that, oddly enough. “So," he says, with a self-deprecating smile, "this is probably the part where I should admit to an unhealthy amount of curiosity about where you’re at with the Cruz case.”

Of all the things he expected Matt to say, that certainly had not occurred to him, which means he blinks in surprise for what turns out to be a little too long.

“Sorry,” Matt says, mistaking Foggy’s pause for something it isn’t and wincing in apparent embarrassment, “I heard about it on the news. The Supreme Court’s decision, I mean, and I’ve been following the case for a while. When Marci mentioned it yesterday—I shouldn’t have said anything, but—”

“No, not at all,” Foggy says, hurriedly. “I’d honestly love to get your opinion.”

“Really?”

“Yes, I mean, you just admitted to following the case, and you’re a lawyer by training, I assume?”

“Yes.”

“Right, so that, and you know the political landscape we’re situated in at the moment as well as anyone, running this campaign, dealing with the DNC. Even if you want to give me your opinion as a Catholic, I’ll take it. It’s…we’re basically taking all bets, at the moment, if that’s not insulting to admit.”

Matt laughs lightly. “Not insulting. I think on average there was a majority of flattering sentiments in there.”

“Good,” Foggy says, sighing in relief. “That’s how it was intended.”

“I take it the President hasn’t made a decision on whether to stay the execution or not?”

“No, that’s why I’m heading into the office on a Sunday. We’re all trying to figure out our options.”

“Well, I have thoughts.”

Foggy laughs this time. “That’s what I like to hear.”

“I will, however, defer to you on the subject of where to get coffee in this neighborhood,” Matt says.

“Oh, right. Well, actually, if we cross up here—”

Foggy steps forward to gesture in the direction he means before he remembers that it won’t do much good. At the same moment, Matt steps forward too, towards Foggy, and holds out a hand in what looks like a conciliatory gesture. Foggy pauses, waiting to hear his objection or question, and not thinking too hard about how close they are now.

“Could I—that is, if it wouldn’t be too much trouble, as we walk, could I hold onto your arm?” Matt asks, and he doesn’t sound embarrassed so much as tired. Foggy gets the sense that he doesn’t like asking for help or relying on people very much. “It makes navigating the sidewalks and everything easier. If not—”

“That’s fine,” Foggy interrupts, feeling only slightly bad that he’s this eager to comply. He’s mostly doing it to be nice, but there is a small part of him that’s excited because a cute guy will be touching him, which feels sort of bad. “I mean, I’m happy to—”

“Thanks,” Matt replies with just a small quirk of his mouth. If he’s noticed Foggy’s eagerness, he’s not calling it out, which is kind of him.

“Do you…know where my arm is?” Foggy asks, like a moron, making Matt laugh.

“It’s, well, it’s in this general vicinity, right?” Matt’s middle finger ends up jabbing into Foggy’s stomach, which is ideal, of course. Now Matt knows he doesn’t have abs of steel, a thing he was definitely going to pretend to have until directly contradicted. “Sorry.”

“That’s okay,” Foggy says, and just grabs Matt’s hand to get it over with. It’s not important or monumental in any way—they shook hands yesterday, so it’s not even the first time they’ve touched—but his pulse starts to race nonetheless. He places Matt’s hand on the crook of his elbow as quickly as he can without making it weird. Except that now he’s trying to remember the last time he held hands with someone and upon consideration, he thinks it’s been a while, which makes him sad to think about. 

“That’s my elbow,” he says, stupidly, because anything else he could say at this moment would somehow be more embarrassing, which is impressive.

Matt laughs, just a little huff of amusement, but his eyes crinkle adorably again and that’s good enough. “I figured that out,” he says. “Thank you, though.”

“Right. Um, so as I was saying, if we cross the street here, I know a place only a few blocks away. Hopefully, it won’t be too busy on a Sunday morning for us to get a table.”

“Okay,” Matt says, nodding. “I’ll follow your lead.”

“Great,” Foggy says, but doesn’t move. He stands there awkwardly for a moment, not sure where this temporary immobility is coming from. “I, uh, I’ve never done this before.

“Gotten coffee?”

“No, uh, that I’ve done, actually, if you can believe it," Foggy says, with a laugh. "I’ve never led someone before? I just don’t want to make you trip or anything.”

“It’s just an extra precaution,” Matt explains, calmly. This is probably something he explains a lot, Foggy realizes with some amount of shame. “I can get around fine on my own, but especially someplace new, this helps.”

“Should I point out obstacles or something? Does that help at all?”

“You’re taking this very seriously,” Matt says with a smile that might be at his expense. In which case, Foggy thinks, it is fully worth it. It’s a good smile.

“Yeah, sorry, I just—”

“You can point things out, that’s fine, but I trust you won’t lead me into any open manholes or anything like that.”

“That’s a lot of trust, man,” Foggy says, and Matt laughs. “I mean, you’re talking to someone who loves some Looney Tunes shenanigans.”

“Well, then I guess if someone paints a wall to look like a train tunnel, we’re both in a lot of trouble.”

“I’ll try to be strong,” Foggy says, “and vigilant.”

“That’s all I ask.”

Foggy realizes this is probably the moment they need to actually start walking, otherwise they’re just two guys who have linked arms outside of a church. He moves hesitantly in the direction of the crosswalk, tugging Matt gently along with him, and it doesn’t feel anywhere near as awkward as he was expecting. It just feels nice.

“You see?” Matt asks, leaning against his arm. “It’s just like walking with a person!”

Foggy digs his elbow into Matt’s side in retaliation, which just makes him ping-pong away from him before bouncing back, already laughing. “Have all the fun you want,” Foggy says. “Just remember, your life is in my hands.”

“And how very capable they are,” Matt says, mildly, still grinning. 

Foggy feels himself blush and he’s very thankful at this moment that Matt probably can’t tell. It’s the only advantage he has in this situation. Naturally, of course, he decides to cancel out that advantage immediately by saying something stupid.

“By the way, this is what I normally smell like,” he says, as they wait for the walk signal.

Matt raises his eyebrows at him. “Oh?” he says, while giving nothing away, like a total bastard.

“There’s a lot of good reasons not to take a meeting straight off of a fifteen hour flight, it turns out,” Foggy says, trying not to die of embarrassment. Maybe Matt hadn’t noticed. He thought he’d just been too polite to say anything. “I want it on the record that I, you know, shower regularly and wear deodorant and everything.”

“Noted,” Matt says with another cryptic smile. He might even inhale a little bit deeper, though Foggy might be imagining that. 

“Fine, I might even smell a little better than normal. But that’s all you’ll get out of me!”

So what if he had put on cologne that he usually forgets to wear? It was a drop if it was anything. And he only did it because of what a clusterfuck yesterday had been. He’d felt he had something to prove to Matt after that conversation went so poorly. 

Matt, of course, seems to be enjoying himself immensely. “I’m impressed,” he says, as they cross the street. “If you’re willing to go to these lengths for the likes of me, I can only imagine what you’d do for someone important.”

He doesn’t mean it like that, Foggy reasons. It wasn’t intended to make him sound like, well, a bit of a whore, but it lands like that, for whatever reason. Like he’d been strategically deployed by his superiors to smooth things over, to butter Matt up to avoid burning a bridge they might want to cross someday. But, as much as he’d love to slather him in butter right now, that is not the case and, unfortunately, it’s also not a way that Foggy’s allowed to think about this person.

“You’re important,” he says, after a moment’s pause. “We’re fucking democrats, Matt. Our whole thing is that we think everyone is important, right? And, even if you somehow weren’t, I’d still be here. Even if no one asked me to be.”

“I didn’t mean to imply—”

“Of course not,” Foggy says, more breezily than he feels. “But my point still stands. I know all this stuff with the DNC is discouraging, but don’t let it sour you on all this. You could very well be the future of the party.”

Matt laughs, nervously. “I don’t know about that.”

Foggy shrugs, which he trusts Matt can feel. “I’ve been told I have good instincts for this kind of thing.”

“Now that I can believe,” Matt says.

When Foggy turns to look at him, he finds Matt already regarding him with interest. He thinks again of his conviction from earlier that this is no irrelevant run-of-the-mill meeting—one of dozens he'll take this week, and hundreds he'll take this year—but rather the beginning of something important. He feels certain that this won't be the last he sees of Matt Murdock and wonders if the same thing is going through Matt's mind too as they walk together. If he's willing to be honest with himself, he can admit that's not just something he suspects will be true; it's something he hopes will be true too.

🏳️‍🌈 💖

[nedlittle]

Top 5 MCR songs? Also, top 5 Gerard Way Looks?

beginning to think i didn't think this through because i have so much love in my heart that choosing favourite songs feels illegal. they're all my favourite (except for blood which I think is hilarious as a concept but would never voluntarily listen to it) however

vampires will never hurt you - they immediately peaked with this one i genuinely think it's in top 3 songs they've ever written on sheer technical creativity. the first 30 seconds send a spike of pure adrenaline through my body. i could lift a bus if vampires was playing in the bg. absolutely deranged choice for a first single yet absolutely in character for them. love that half the songs off bullets don't even feel like songs that are verse > chorus > verse > chorus > bridge > chorus. they're just stories set against the sicknastiest guitar you've ever heard. but vampires in particular feels like everyone is performing until they pass out the energy doesn't flag for half a second. perfect song. i could listen to it every day and not get tired of it

boy division - iconic from start to finish. the amount of time tourists walked in one me going absolutely sicko mode to this one on slow days is at LEAST 3. love how tongue-in-cheek the lyrics are wrt to legacy and image love that i have listened to this song approximately 4000 times since mid-july and yet i do not know half the lyrics bc someone will not enunciate. putting it after foundations on setlists is such a fun choice because it really doesn't give you a second to breathe. going straight from the healing and awe and resilience of being told to fix your heart IMMEDIATELY into IFALLMYENEMIESTHREWAPARTY--

the foundations of decay - i know i'm prone to exaggeration and hyperbole but this one is dead fucking serious. the first time i listened to foundations i was like oh wow new music! and i liked it well enough but didn't seek it out or really think about it that much the first few times i heard it and then during the summer i saw some fanart and thought oh hm maybe i should give foundations another listen and that time i heard "you must fix your heart" clear as a fucking bell like a bolt of lightning clean through down to the centre of me right when i was experiencing such intense existential dread about turning 25--an age i never thought i'd reach--and not having a stable job or future that i thought i would lay down and die from it. you must fix your heart!! and you must build an altar where it swells!! i just had such a profound experience hearing that lyric and i listened to just the bridge over and over again for a week until i could hear it like static in my ears even when it wasn't playing. you must fix your heart. if i remember and get over my fear of appointments i'm going to get this tattooed on my human body. i mean this forever.

mama - do not need to explain this one. ray toro i would fight god for you thank you for taking a dare to write a rock polka 100% seriously and as a result transgenderizing millions of people across the globe on a daily basis. also up there in top 3 songs they've ever written. screaming YOU SHOULD HAVE RAISED A BABY GIRL I SHOULD HAVE BEEN A BETTER SON with thousands of people would both fix me and make me worse. LIZA MINNELLI is there

our lady of sorrows - the childhood catholicism really jumped out with this one but in my defense stand up fucking tall don't let them see your back and take my fucking hand and never be afraid again. gay-ass epic of gilgamesh-ass punk song. i know the point is that it's short but also i wish it were 10 minutes long

okay jesus christ we're putting the looks under a read more because i'm going to end up writing a phd thesis on each of them and the good people who followed me for other things shouldn't have to scroll 10 km uphill in the snow to see other posts

i am limiting these looks to recent tour fits because otherwise we will be here for the next 7 years and i will end up burning all the hair off my scalp in another bad dye job SO let's watch me get embarrassing

gerard of arc

protestants invented the rapture so they could describe mcr. we knew this one was coming the only question was when a joan outfit was coming and boy howdy did they deliver. i don't know if this one would have been as impactful if there wasn't already a mini-joan canon within their discography but because there have been years and years of build up to gerard going full joan, waking up and seeing this was pure vindication. also helps that i'm a big fan of the og joan fit at voodoofest in 2008 (2007?). love the change from the red skirt that's often associated with joan (especially in millais' painting) to a red cape so that instead it's chainmail all the way down. also there's something so striking about a chainmail gown. apart from the arm braces and the piece at the breastbone there's no real armour, even regular textiles that look like armour--i mean, practicality. you don't wanna pass out midway through na na na. also the BLOOD post-stake joan and the big ass buckle boots! i'm so glad someone got a visual on the boots bc the shoes often make or break an outfit for me and i was trying to figure out wtf they had underrneath the gown without sounding like a perv. the little joan sticker on his wizard noise tower. saints for girls. give this bitch a sword. if i talk about this too long i will be fully insane. moving on

2. high school english teacher who you homoerotically imprinted on but specifically with the jacket + glasses

feel like i do not need to explain this one. best they've ever looked unironically. it was all over for me the second i saw the pearl bracelet. the day after this happened i went to the heterosexual wedding of a high school friend in what i can only describe as a slightly more masc version of this fit which was likened by my friends to both a dead victorian child and a medieval knight. this look was my lockscreen until joan happened and genuinely my life has not known a single moment of peace since. i am not exaggerating when i say that on nights i knew there was a show i had trouble sleeping because i was tormented by the idea of gerard way out in public wearing a cunty little outfit. one night i genuinely woke up in a cold sweat and the first coherent thought was "what if an outfit happened" because i am Extremely Normal. i invented a brand new emotion looking at this and that emotion is 'gender horny' and no i do not know what that means. someone needs to take me out back and old yeller me i can't keep living like this. next

3. cheergate original flavour

i wasn't following the tour rabidly or having Hot Kit Emo Summer yet so the morning after cheergate og i was innocently scrolling through tumblr, saw fanart, and went wait. WAIT. and then mine eyes were blessed by images and the little gay people in my phone going from awe to horniness back to awe at breakneck speed. if this hadn't been on my day off i'm not sure how i would have coped. you think i would have been able to balance a cashbox in the wake of cheergate? i can barely do that under normal circumstances. sometimes gender is a horseshoe that swings back around to you with someone else's euphoria, sometimes it's contagious like laughter. the delicately puffed sleeves are what does me in specifically. puffed sleeves pristine white sneakers tiny little socks smooth ass legs. if i think for more than three minutes about the possibility of the cheerleading dress being the defining outfit of the return era i immediately get a tension headache. there are kids who got into mcr during the break up and this is going to be THEIR gerard....i need to put my head into a blender.

4. cunt dragula/count fagula

99% perfect recreation of bela lugosi in dracula 1931 HELLO?? (1% imperfect because the tailcoat is cut weirdly high both for a beat-by-beat recreation and 1930s evening wear in general and i cannot stop looking at it) i love this one bc it's just so Fun and the details are so theatre kid-y that i am reduced to self-recognition through the other. tinted hair gel. white foundation. drawn-on eyebrows. the way the cape swishes. we love to have fun here this one looked so fun to wear. even though i am not a big fan of dracula 1931 i am Not Immune to dracula 1931. glad there was a gud evening 9 years in the making :)

5. pool boy at the vampire mansion

fully-fledged character in 6 words. pool boy at the vampire mansion is like a mother to me. this falls into the category of outfits that i have deemed in my Big Spreadsheet of Tour Outfits (i am extremely mentally healthy thank you for asking) 'camp counsellor fits'. looks EXTREMELY comfy and even though it's so simple, everything works together so well even the clear face mask which i always forget exists. i love you tiniest shorts on planet earth. i love you crooked hand-lettered t-shirt handmade with love. i love you black converse. i would say more about this but the thing about living with your parents at 25 is that if my mother comes upstairs to drag me to the dinner table she will see me being extremely abnormal about gerard way online.

bonus points to: nurse (made me reread hanif abdurraqib's extremely wonderful black parade essay also gave me insane emotions re: my own concepts of health and chronic pain lol), lil ghostie (my close personal friend :^)), fruit bat drag queen (newark 1, would have been #4 if not for dracula)

[fangirlincorporate]

So second time must be the charm because the first one I deleted on accident like a dummy. Anyway

Here are my thoughts on Ch 49

It’s moments like these that I love the most. They make me laugh despite how tense the plot is right now. I think it’s cute how Yato was a little jealous over Hiyori being glad that Yukine was there, but didn’t mention anything about him.

I still really wish someone would do a drawing (or point me in the direction) of Hiyori using one her moves on Fujisaki. And I keep forgetting to call him Koto. I’m curious to know if he’s about as old as Yato or older. If so I wonder by how much. I feel as if ability wise Yato should be superior but somehow isn’t and I’m wondering if I’ll find out why later on.

I can’t remember how I worded this the first time but I had a theory that Koto was going to go after Hiyori directly to get Yato to submit however that feels too easy. Sicko’s like him like to drag stuff like this out for enjoyment so I’m not looking forward to finding out what his plan is.

Also side note I definitely have a thing for Yato wearing his hair up. Idk what it is but it’s 👌👌

So now I know what he’s up to. He’s going after her parents. I should’ve known after Hiyori challenged him that he would come after the people she cares about.

I’m also worried that something is going to happen to Yukine during all this. The secret plots seem to come out in the midst of all the crazy. I’ve seen it before and I’m sure I’ll see it again. No one better come after my sweet boy 😭

I get really uncomfortable being reminded that Hiyori is still a child and this is a lot. Being involved in these things is a lot. I can’t even handle my daily life and the stress I have let alone the drama of someone who’s my senior by a few hundred years and a God on top of it. I’d still swap places in a heart beat though don’t get me wrong. I can’t decide if I would annoy the shit out of Yato with the amount of questions and demands I would have or if he would love the attention. Maybe for a good few hours but I think he would get tired of me 😂😂

Oh fuck okay. So yeah shit really hit the fan now. I’m hoping that the mom was hit before she could stab herself. That is really rough to watch fall apart as I’m reading it.

Poor Hiyori. I won’t blame her for pushing away at this point. Again this is a lot on a child. It only makes me hate Koto more for doing this. I know in the end it will all work itself out (I would hope) but man it’s looking really bleak right now.

I’m not gonna lie it’s a struggle to follow the fight scenes. My brain needs some time to process apparently so I reread this about four times. I think Yukine could take them, but Yato clearly knows something I don’t.

I really love how their relationship has grown. I got amusement from Yukine being a little asshat, but watching him grow and prosper into who he is now feels really rewarding

And of course it has to get worse before it gets better so I’m strapping myself in for the rollercoaster I’m about to take a trip on. I don’t really know what’s going to happen to Hiyori here pretty soon but I’m not looking forward to finding out.

Thanks for tuning in and I appreciate when you guys interact with my posts too 🥰 I’ll be posting Ch 50 later today. I woke up too early it’s 4:30 in the morning so I’m going back to bed 😂

[mggssocks]

Followed- part 2

Not My Gif!

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid

Content Warnings: regular criminal minds stuff. (please let me know if i missed anything!)

Summary: Spencer makes an Instagram and stumbles across reader’s page.

Word Count: 2.2k +

A/N: Thank you so much for the love i have received on my last chapter!!! It means so much to me. Also i’m going to try to update chapters as much as i can but i’m graduating in a few weeks and i will have a lot going on. But again, thank you guys!!! xoxo

masterlist // part 1

Although he was only going off of a few hours of sleep, Spencer came to work with a pep in his step today. His interaction with this girl was very brief but he still got butterflies with the thought. He was early as usual so he made himself a cup of coffee and sat at his desk, settling in. He pulled out his phone and reread the text messages that the two of you shared. When he finished reading the short message thread, his thumb hovered over the letter G. He wanted to type “good morning” but he didn’t want to come off as too clingy or overbearing. That in fact was the last thing he wanted. 

“Hey Spence” he hears from behind him, causing him to jump and quickly lock his phone before shoving it into his coat pocket. 

“Hi” he turns around to see JJ and forms his mouth into a straight line. 

She eyes him weirdly. Something was up.

“Everything okay?” She asked. Knowing how Spencer was, she wasn’t expecting him to answer truthfully. Especially with him jumping startledly like he just did at a simple ‘hi’.

“No- yeah. Yeah I’m fine. What about you? Are you okay?” He asked to switch the conversation around. 

Yeah. Something was definitely up.

“I’m… fine?” She answers confused

He nods awkwardly. She was just about to ask him if he was sure that he was fine but everyone else started to walk in and she knew if he was being this secretive with her, he definitely wouldn’t want everyone else to be in his business. So she drops it… at least for now. 

Garcia speed walked into the bullpen with a file or two in her hand, not bothering to say anything to the team. She goes straight to the conference room.

“Looks like we have a case” Morgan declared as he walked past the desks and up the stairs. Everyone else followed.

“And from the looks of it, it’s bad,” says Emily. 

They settle in their seats as Garcia passes Spencer his case file while everyone else gets on their tablets.

“We’re going to Wichita, Kansas.” Hotch says as he was the last one to come into the conference room.

“This sicko stabs straight through the heart. They chop off as much hair as they can before shoving it in the victim’s mouths.” Garcia speaks, a little disturbed a little while avoiding her gaze from the screen.

“Four victims within one week. There’s no cooling off period at all” Morgan said, swiping through his tablet.

“Which is why we’re debriefing on the jet. Wheels up.”

——————

After the team debriefed on the jet, Garcia chimed in through the video chat.“Guys, A store owner just found another victim.” 

The team looks at one another. Hotch sighs momentarily before speaking.

“Alright, JJ, you and Reid to the M.E. Morgan and Rossi go to the latest crime scene and Prentiss and I will go and set up at the station.” 

Everyone nods their head at their temporary partners for confirmation.

————

“So on the first victim, the person hesitated.” The examiner spoke factually.

“-And on the other four he didn’t hesitate at all” spoke JJ, trying to get the bigger picture. 

“Exactly. Now with the new victim… I noticed something strange. “ She walked over to the newest victim from earlier that day and the agent and dr followed her.

She turned the woman’s head and revealed a cat-like scratch with three of them synchronized.

JJ and Spencer looked at each other. After they called the other team members to fill them in, they walked to the car in pure silence.

“So… this morning” says JJ, walking to the driver’s side.

Spencer gives her a questioning look as he takes the passenger seat.

“What about this morning?” He asked in a suspicious tone and avoided her gaze by looking out of the window.

“You don’t have to tell me anything, Spence, but I know something’s going on. Just tell me that it’s nothing bad.” She put her seatbelt on.

Spencer didn’t dare to give in “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

——————- 

After three days, they finally caught the unsub. The man was purely a sick and twisted psychopath. Jeffery Magnum. A 30 year old man who was severely abused as a child. His mother would make him eat the cat’s fur balls for dinner and when he refused, she would shave him bald. His mother died and that was the stressor that made him begin to kill.

As they boarded the plane, Morgan, Prentiss, and JJ sat together in the four seats. Rossi and Hotch sat together in the seats across from each other behind them. Spencer sat on the couch, far away from everyone. He wasn’t trying to distance himself. He just wanted to sit alone.

He pulled his phone out. He hasn’t thought much about that girl since he’s obviously been busy but now he was thinking about her. When he opened the app, he saw that she had posted a story. Before he watched her story, he clicked on her account and scrolled a little. She posted a lot of books and her cat too. Spencer really liked this one in particular.

26 likes

Yourinstagram I looked up from my book and seen this. thought it was a great photo op. 

View all 11 comments

He comes across a picture that really catches his attention.

11 likes

Yourinstagram okay just finished these two Jung books. He’s officially my favorite psychology/ prolific author. Freud’s got nothing on this guy.

View 1 comment

Spencer nodded his head approvingly. He swiped back to look at her Instagram story. 

He swiped up, thinking of a way to start a conversation. He just wanted to talk. About what? He doesn’t know.

spencerreid what’s tomorrow?

As expected, she didn’t respond right away. Instead of waiting for a response, Spencer picks up a book to occupy his attention. About 15 minutes later, his phone vibrates and an Instagram notification pops up. It catches the attention of JJ and she looks from the corner of her eye.

Spencer let’s 3 minutes pass by before responding because he didn’t want to seem too eager to talk to her. Although he definitely was.

yourinstagram nothing special! I’m a pastry chef so I’m just preparing them for the week! 

spencerreid Do you have some sort of bakery?

yourinstagram yup :)

Spencer didn’t know what to text back. So he started a new conversation with her.

spencerreid By the way I was looking at your page and seen that you read Carl Jung books.

yourinstagram you were stalking my page??

He started to panic. He didn’t mean it like a weirdo.

spencerreid I didn’t mean it like that. I just wanted to see what you were about, I guess.

yourinstagram relax haha I was kidding. And yes I do like Carl Jung books. What about you? Jung or Freud?

spencerreid I’m a fan of both, though I feel as if Jung was more open minded.

yourinstagram you, my friend, have great taste.

Although he knew “my friend” was just a term, Spencer couldn’t help but let a smile spread across his face. 

JJ notices and nudges Morgan who was listening to music. Prentiss notices JJ’s act and she gives her a questioning look. JJ nods her head towards Reid who was smiling at his phone. Emily who was sitting next to the window across from Morgan leaned over the seat to get a peek at Spencer.

She looks back to JJ. “What?”

“He’s been acting weird since before we left for this case. Like… secretive.”

Derek quirks an eyebrow. “You think he’s got something going on?” 

JJ shrugs.

“Hey” Emily says to Spencer.

He doesn’t necessarily jump but he was obviously startled. 

“What are you smiling about?” She asked. JJ and Derek watched as he fumbled over his words.

“I- uh-just- just a joke” Spencer cringed internally, because not even he, himself was buying it.

“What’s the joke?” Derek asked.

“It’s… nothing you would find amusing.” 

The three pretended to believe him and gave each other subtle glances before continuing what they were doing. Spencer turned back to his phone.

yourinstagram I’m y/n by the way. Just thought I’d formally introduce myself.

spencerreid I’m Spencer.

yourinstagram It’s nice to meet you, Spencer.

spencerreid It’s nice to meet you as well, Y/N.

After the jet landed, it was only 3:00 in the afternoon. Hotch gave them the rest of the day off so Spencer decided to head home and catch up on some sleep that he’s missed these past few days. 

He knew that it’d be terrible traffic on his way home. But since he stupidly decided to drive to work a few days ago, he couldn’t take the subway. He had to drive home. After about 10 minutes of sitting in his car calculating the fastest route home during traffic hours, he decides to take a way that he’s never taken before.

It would take him about thirty minutes but on his normal route during traffic hours, it would take him an hour and twenty. 

While driving, he catches a glimpse of a bakery and his stomach automatically growls. He decided that he’d stop by. Spencer walked into the shop and it wasn’t very busy. He looked over all of the options while waiting for someone to come to the counter.

A girl soon trails around dusting her hands off on her yellow apron. Her hair tied back in a ponytail.

“Hi. How can I help you?” She gives a kind smile.

“Uh- can I have two of the Danish pastries And a water?” He asked.

“Of course! Will that be all?” She puts some clear gloves on and makes her way over to the pastries.

“Yes” Spencer answers, digging through his satchel for his wallet.

She puts the treats in an apricot colored box, closed with a sticker with the name of the bakery. 

She puts the order in and looks back up at him “That’ll be $5.37!” 

He’s finally able to get a feel for his wallet and pulls out his card, handing it to her. She swipes it and hands it back over to him after it was approved along with his box and a reusable water bottle. He murmurs a thank you before leaving and heading to his apartment, enjoying the delicious danishes and finishing up some case files.

*******

“Seriously, Y/n. There’s so many relationship opportunities in Virginia. And you’re thinking about someone from a social media platform. You’ve never even seen them.” Your older sister lectures you as you close up the shop.

“Woah woah woah. I never said anything about a relationship with him. He’s nice but I’m not going to date someone over the internet. For all I know, he could be from England. I just said we both have an understandable love for Carl Jung in common.” You explained.

“Mom is worried about you. You’re thirty and you haven’t even found someone you’re interested in.” She lifts her eyebrow.

“She doesn’t need to worry about me. And every single woman doesn’t need to get married and settle down in their thirties.” you argue back

“She wants grandchildren, y/n. And not just from one of her kids.” 

“Look. I’m fine. You guys need to stop with the pressuring. I’m happy and I have all that I can ask for right now. When that time comes then it comes but for right now, i’m content” You shrug as you lock up all of the treats in the display cases.

She gives up the argument. And there is a weight of silence that fell between the two of you.

“Alright. Dave and the kids are expecting me so I'm going to get some pizza and head home.” she says, breaking the silence.

“Okay. Love you. Be safe. Bye” you say to her. 

After locking up the shop, you head home and when you open your door, you are greeted by your cat, Luna. After locking the door, you kneel down to properly greet your baby.

“Hey, girl” you pick her up and make your way to the kitchen, opening the fridge to see what options you had to eat for dinner.

You decided on some grilled cheese and tomato soup so that’s what you made.

*****

You throw the crust down on your plate, flipping the page of the book you were almost done with. You were curled up on the side of the couch with Luna sleeping by your feet. After finishing the last page, you were bored enough to go onto twitter and then instagram. 

As you make your way to his dm, you bite your lip, hesitant to say something. You didn’t often speak to people through social media. But he’s already texted first so the least you can do is text something first this time. You were uncertain, but you did it anyway.

yourinstagram hey

You mentally smack yourself as you look at the time. He’s probably already slee-

spencerreid Hi.

yourinstagram i was thinking….

spencerreid About?

yourinstagram I told you what i do for a living. I figured it’s only right that you told me what you do..

spencerreid I’m in the FBI. I’m a profiler.

yourinstagram that’s pretty impressive.

You didn’t know it but Spencer was blushing.

spencerreid Thank you.

yourinstagram you’re based in D.C right?

spencerreid That would be correct.

yourinstagram That’s funny.

spencereid Why is it funny?

yourinstagram because I live in D.C too.

[novadreii]

my thoughts on castlevania s4 SPOILERS obviously

wow, i was actually impressed with hector for once. he collected the last wit about him to turn his situation around and take his balls out of lenore’s hands back into his pants. i thought he would go sicko mode on her and feared it getting a little revenge misogynistic, but i was pleasantly surprised at how civilized it was between them up until the end.

lenore was a little useless, wasn’t she? i half expected her to go, “you know what? fuck diplomacy” and just go mach 1 on everyone. eh.

isaac, oh. isaac. my favorite secondary character. wanders the desert conquesting, killing and raising the dead which made him realize things. he realized so much he marched right into carmilla’s castle while her beserker and army were away and owned her ass. good for him.

carmilla. oh, carmilla. tied with isaac for my favorite. so determined and single-minded that she sent away all her forces while she schemed in her fortress. she depended too hard on her partners doing all the work for her, and as a result she wasn’t much of a thinker, just a bloody, murdery doer. for example, she didn’t think that there were other formidable forces in the world that may want to impede her whole world domination plan? did she forget about isaac, out in the world rogue forgemastering? that was a threat she should have checked on before going global. she got too greedy, too quickly, and she paid the ultimate price for it. she went out like a fucking boss though, and i was pleased with her arc overall. as far as villains go, her raison d’etre was relatable and hard to argue with. 

the dialogue style is both one of my favorite parts of the show but also at times a pain point for me. when it’s good, it’s relaxed, comfortable and realistic and the characters play off each other really well with it (like quipping back and forth during battle which i normally hate but works well here). when it’s bad, it’s a little cringe. some dialogue scenes went on wayyyyy too long while the characters repeated things they’d literally just said verbatim, which is awkward af in screenwriting. i.e. Isaac telling Hector twice in the space of 30 seconds “Dracula earned his rest.” which is odd because impactful phrases like this usually are not repeated so as not to, yknow, dilute their impact. Also Carmilla waxing spiteful about “evil old men” and repeating some variation of the phrase 15 times in one scene. lastly, the liberal sprinkling of the word “fuck” in every other line is also like, mostly welcome but once or twice just sounded silly given the context of the scene. i’m nitpicking, here.

saint-germain. Idk much about his woman, but she definitely seemed worth slaughtering a village and raising dracula from the dead for. violent and hot as fuck, she never uttered a single word which i want to think is indicative of something but what? did we ever figure out why she kept eluding him via dimension-jumping? imagine she was trying to get away from him all this time lol. yikes.

the smartest people in this whole show are the vampire lesbians who peace tf out immediately when they see their castle is under siege and figure out carmilla is dead. LOL at them assuming useless lenore is dead too (bc, she’s useless) and just leaving her there. they packed their shit up, moved out west, presumably to build a lover’s stronghold where they could just be in vampire love forever. GOOD FOR THEM.

trevor: continued to drunkenly yell Fuck while being masterfully proficient immediately at any weapon he picks up, though eventually always ending up using his fists like the brawler he is.

sypha: if she met the avatar, she'd be like “lmao, you can ‘bend’ the elements, huh? i can use them in ways that would make your skin crawl and your head explode to even think about. sit the fuck down.”

alucard: adorable himbo with a heart of gold, needs a tough as nails gf to jerk him out of his moods and organize his kitchen for him. another round of good for him. i was a little scared they would kill off his gf but that would have been unimaginably cruel considering what he went through in s3. alucard had imo the best/most stylish fight sequences of the season. and they know what we’re about, since he was shirtless or at least in a very deep V cut most of the time. thank you.

i had 2 major predictions for this season going into it: trevor would die (permanently), and sypha would have a kid/get pregnant. i was 75% on the money.

i liked the ending message of why humans win these wars against vampires despite being slow meatbags compared to them. the vampires’ fatal flaw is resistance to change, provoked by their immortality, arrogance, and insatiable desire for power in order to provide themselves long term stability in the world. whereas humanity’s best trait is the polar opposite: adaptability. throughout history, the ability to adapt has been proven to be the determining factor in a species’ survival. vampires, for all their god-like strengths, prove to be no exception to this rule. alucard, with his human heart, is the only one with vampire blood who has proven he can make major changes and overcome personal prejudices to live a better life.

And my final thoughts on the ending are: everyone major got a satisfying end to their arc. BUT. it was just too happy. either trevor should have stayed dead, OR dracula and lisa should have gone back to hell. but not both. having everyone come back to life and go on to skip in fields just seems contrary to the tone and messaging of the whole show, which is pretty high up on the edginess scale.

i love a bittersweet ending in general, so i’m biased. imo, the joy of a mostly good ending is rendered all that much sweeter by reflecting on what was lost to obtain it. imagine:

alternate ending 1: trevor comes back, the gang lives happily ever after at Belmont Village or wtvr they name it, BUT. we see alucard lost in thought thinking about his parents, how he saw a flash of their souls during the penultimate battle. there’s regret there, the regret of shit left unsaid and shitty family dynamics unsolved. we cut immediately back to hell, with lisa and dracula embracing, maybe whispering a few lines of doomed lovers dialogue and something about their son. they’re in hell, but ultimately, they’re together. cut back to alucard, yanked out of his sad thoughts by his pretty gf who won’t let him get too deep in the weeds. shot pans out of them together with the gang. the end.

alternate ending 2: trevor is DEAD dead. sypha stays with alucard and the gang at belmont farms and raises her kid. maybe we get a 2 year timeskip and we see the little shit have some of his dad in him/her. sypha is sad about trevor but doesn’t mope about it. she runs that town like it’s a business. alucard is the best uncle to that kid & the orphans they could ask for. everyone gets trained in ass-kicking next door at the belmont hold. lisa and dracula are miraculously alive through whatever convoluted bs makes it work, and contemplate one day moving back to see their son. dracula has a moment to realize that his family is mostly human, and what he loves in them he can learn to tolerate from all of humanity.

don’t those feel happy but just. TINGED. with just enough sadness to be more memorable? idk i may just be a masochist.

i haven’t mentioned the technical aspects such as animation and direction because they were amazing. really, really incredible animation that is going to be hard to follow up (and netflix is going to make copycats of this formula, you bet your ass they will). where cgi was used, it was excellent and barely detectable, really well integrated with 2d. so engaging to watch.

overall: 9/10

[adultswim2021]

The Brak Show #26: “Sexy New Brak Show Go” | November 9, 2003 - 11:30 PM | S03E06

I didn’t remember this one being that good, but it’s one of the stronger ones, actually. I think season 3 of Brak has an inordinate amount of episodes that riff on a theme. It’s like if Moonlighting did five episodes in a row of Atomic Shakespeare. Or Sealab. I guess I coulda just gone with Sealab. Yeah. Season 3 of The Brak Show is like Sealab.

But this has fun stuff in it. A Japanese corporation awards the Brak family their very own Japanese variety show, but basically all it amounts to is this comapny taking over their house and lives for commercial exploitation. There are a decent number of fun gags. To call it focused is a stretch: It’s just a different flavor of Brak’s typical “totally rando” humor. I’m struggling to come up with examples, but I feel like the parody of “wacky Japanese” culture thing has been done at least a few times before this. The Simpsons did Mr. Sparkle. Hey, wait... that voice is familiar. (IMDBs it) It’s George “can i haz cheezburger” Takei! WOW! Okay now that’s epic

The best part of this episode is that Zorak sprays Clarence with machine gun fire. It’s what I’ve always wanted this whole time. Thank you Brak. You should have saved it for the finale. But thank you.

MAIL BAG

Zorak in a coma I know, i know: it's serious

“...And I don’t want a paki doctor helping heeerrrr” sorry, I just thought it’d be funny to sing the real next line next to your parody version (this is from a recent revision by Morrissey himself in case you don’t recognize it)

Hello David Duchovny here. I use to watch Adult Swim in my trailer while filming Californication. Looking forward to see what you think of those shows at the time. Goodbye for now.

Thank you David D! I hope you know the truth is out there and it’s in every single one of my write-ups! You were so good on Dr. Katz and Larry Sanders and The Simpsons and Zoolander and please know I am completely unfamiliar with anything else you’ve ever done. Okay bye

Lot of people are mean to you for no reason so here's something nice for a change: Santa has seen your hard work and you'll be rewarded in kind this winter with a very special treat.

THIS!!! I love MR. BIG CHRISTMAS (as *I* like to call him) and this was really cool to hear!

is that really sam hyde? i honestly that was eric andre this whole time. i still kind of do

That is really him, you must face the facts

Did you have Fuddruckers on a west coast. I think you would like a hamburger from there. They are all gone now but I mourn it's loss. Also it sounds like Fuddfuckers which sounds very funny. Sounds like something a sicko like John K would cook up. Heh heh heh.

There was one in my area that I always meant to go try but I blew it. It’s gone. We lost them. According to the internet there are still a few open in central California. They are my lifelilnes to a world where Fuddruckers is still plentiful. “one plain hamburger please” :D

[supraveng]

Agent of Shield - Chapter 1

This is my first fan-fiction, I appreciate any and all feedback

Summary: You are a relatively new agent at Shield, but not a field agent, apparently that is about to change when you meet the Avengers and they realize you are a valuable asset

Word count: 2168

My phone rang and caused a huge sigh of relief, at this point during the lunch date, I didn’t care if it was a telemarketer, I was going to say it was an emergency and get out of there as quickly as possible.  “I’m sorry, I need to take this” I said as politely as possible as I dig my phone out of my bag. “Hello?”  “Hi, Y/N Miller, it’s Maria Hill, I know it’s a Saturday, but we could really use your assistance on a time sensitive situation.  How quickly can you get to Stark tower?  We have some intel and no one here to translate it for us.” “Girl, you are getting me out of the worst date in history, I can be there in 30 mins.”  I move my mouth away from the phone and address my lunch companion “Oh don’t pout, you can’t think this was going well, you’ve been talking about your mother for the last 20 minutes” I am not in the mood to give Mr. Boring any pretense that I wanted to be there. You could hear Maria try to stifle a laugh before commenting “Thank you, are you in Manhattan? We can have someone come get you?” “Actually, I’m about 5 blocks away, but I’m gonna need some coffee to combat my two-martini lunch if you want the translations to be accurate” I responded as I gathered my things and headed out of the restaurant.  “We wouldn’t have called if we didn’t want accuracy”, you gasp when you heard the voice “Nicky, is that you? This IS a treat!”  I say with a giggle.   “Stop calling me that I will personally have your coffee waiting for you when you arrive, you have 10 minutes” “Thank you Director Fury” I say as seriously as possible. “So what are we looking at here, what language do you need translated?”  “We aren’t sure what language it is, but you would be the expert in that department.   We just received the comm but we don’t have anyone here that can assist, and since you know all languages, you are always our first choice.” “Oh, Maria, flattery will get you everywhere!!”

I arrived at Stark tower 8 minutes later with Fury handing me a rather large cup of coffee and what almost looked like a smile “Thank you for allowing us to interrupt your Saturday”. I smiled at him as I sipped my coffee and followed him into the elevator.  “You are very welcome, I’m glad I was close by, this coffee could have gotten cold if I was anywhere else in the city”.   I walked down the corridor and was led into a conference room, I almost stopped dead in my tracks when I notice Tony Stark and Steve Rogers discussing something at the monitor.  I take a deep breath and another sip of coffee “Well, I guess this is where the party is, I’m sorry I’m late”, both the Avengers turn to look at me and I could have melted right there.  “Sorry to tear you away from your martini lunch, but we could really use your help here” Tony says with a smile.  I glare at Maria “you should warn someone when they are on speaker phone.  Not a problem Mr. Stark, I’m pretty sure this emergency saved me from the reincarnation of Norman Bates.”  Everyone laughs except for Steve who looks a little confused, Tony claps him on the shoulder “I’ll explain it later Cap.  And Y/N, please call me Tony.   The communication came in this morning, but I’m limited to only knowing 6 languages and whatever this is, it’s not one of them.”  “Well, there are approximately 2500 languages in the world, and Maria exaggerated, I’m only fluent in 47, but I will do my best” I respond with a smile.  “You are fluent in 47 languages?” “Yes Captain, unless you count Pig Latin, then it’s 48” I say with a wink.  “Which we don’t, so can we please move this along?” “Of course, Director Fury” I respond as I continue to sip my coffee.   “Are you looking for anything in particular? Or just need a literal translation?” I question as I sit down with a pen and paper before they start to play the recording.  “Well, if you are able to translate, which it sounds like you are the most qualified one in the room, we would want a full transcript of the conversation.”  “Of course, Captain” I smile as Tony starts to play the recording.  “Please, call me Steve”

I begin listening with my eyes closed in order to concentrate on the conversation and pick out the different individuals speaking.   I open my eyes and signal for Tony to pause the recording.  “Um, so it is Xhosa and I’m able to translate but not to question your source, are you sure this is the correct recording?”  I question with a quizzical look.  “Why? What are they talking about?” Fury asks. “Well, please excuse my language Captain, eh Steve, but idiot number 1 is complaining to idiot number 2 about the, um brothel he recommended” I state as I look at the other 4 people in the room. Maria begins to chuckle under her breath but clears her throat as Tony begins speaking.  “What exactly did he say?” I look up, almost embarrassed to repeat any of the conversation in front of golden boy Captain America and smile “Well, he said, and I quote “the whore house you sent me to was awful, I asked for the blonde like you recommended, her bush was too much, she pegged me without my permission, and now I have a strange looking sore on the side of my” I was cut off by Steve “Ok, I don’t think that’s what we are looking for here. Would you mind continuing through the recording and leave out any of the colorful commentary?”  “Of course, please continue the recording” I state as Tony is about to add to the situation, but I just shake my head and grin.  I continue listening for a few more lines when I hear a name “Who is Demetri Makarov?” I ask as Tony pauses the recording again. “They mentioned Demetri.  What did they say?”  Tony asks as he looks over at you.   “Idiot number 2 is telling idiot number 1 that he went to the wrong, um, brothel, that none of Demetri’s girls have a bush and are always kept clean. He has a very strict criteria and only keeps the best, um, workers.  He gets a fresh shipment every month, so any that are dirty are disposed of” I say with a lump in my throat.   My job for SHIELD has never been easy to handle when it comes to the types of criminals I help to expose, but this was a bit more than I was expecting on a Saturday afternoon.  Steve seems to sense my trepidation and places a hand on my shoulder “this is exactly what we need, can you continue, or do you need a break?” he asks.   I take a deep breath and look into his crystal blue eye, which seem to calm me enough to continue “since this is time sensitive, I don’t want to take a break, I’ll be fine”  I nod and Tony continues to play the message.   I close my eyes again and pick up the pen, I listen a little while longer and then begin writing.  When the recording stops, I look up “Wait, is that all you got?   That’s not enough information” I say, almost agitated that they didn’t provide me more details.  “Unfortunately, the transmission cut out, but what else did you get? Anything useful?” Maria asks.  “Well, idiot number 2 went to praise Demetri and his screening process for finding the purest girls of anyone around.  Idiot number 2 told idiot number 1 that he is hoping that Demetri will let him test the merchandise when it comes in on the 20th.  But there wasn’t a location, he didn’t give anything else to work with” I reply frustrated and almost defeated that I couldn’t get more info to help stop this sicko.  

“You’ve helped more than you realize” Tony responds as he goes back to the monitor. “We received the recording this morning and sent out agents for ground surveillance immediately.” “We have 12 days to figure out where Demetri is and where his is taking the women, that’s more time than we usually have” Steve says as he smiles at me. “Thank you for your help, can we contact you if anything else comes in?” he asks hesitantly.  I smile and nod “Of course” I respond as I think, you are Captain Freaking America, you can call me anytime.  Tony clears his throat and catches both me and Steve off guard “Quit flirting Cap, we have work to do.  Thank you for your time Y/N, we will be in touch”

I stand up and turn to Maria who has a huge grin on her face “Here, I’ll walk you out” she states as she stands up and follows me out the door.   As I step on the elevator, I look over at Maria with my mouth hanging open, “Are you ok?” she asks, a little worried by my appearance.  “Yea, I guess, just not how I thought this day would go. First meeting two of the hottest men in NY and listening to a bunch of dirt bags being all giddy about their knowledge of a sex trafficking ring halfway around the world.  My life usually isn’t this interesting” I say with a shrug.  “Well, I think you impressed everyone in that room, you would be a huge asset to the team for this particular investigation.   I can talk to Fury about moving you from your desk job, you are totally wasted there, you know that, right?”  she states as the elevator opens on the bottom floor.  I look at her a bit skeptically, “Maria, I love you, but I am not a field agent, I’m barely an agent at all.  I’m a translator at best and the only reason I got through that whole thing without making an ass of myself was the martini’s I had before I came over.   I don’t think the Avengers would appreciate me needing to be buzzed in order to assist them with actual helpful way.  What is so funny?” I practically scream when Maria is doubled over laughing.  “You need to relax, they were both impressed with you, I mean, who wouldn’t be, 47 languages?  That’s 40 more than Stark and he’s a genius!  You don’t give yourself enough credit.”  “Thank you, but I don’t know how you can work with the Avengers at all. It’s like their hotness level surpasses normal people by 500%, and you don’t even notice” I respond starting to laugh at the entire situation.  “Oh honey, I notice, trust me I notice.  I just pretend they all look like trolls so that I can keep from drooling” she tells me with a small smile.  I snort and shake my head as I hail a cab “I’m not sure my imagination is strong enough for that, but I will try to my best to be professional” I say with a smile as I open the cab door.   Today is definitely not how I were expecting my day to go, I stare out the window of the cab and start thinking about what Maria said.  Helping the Avengers on this case would be scary as hell, but also, probably the most rewarding work I’ve done since coming to SHIELD.  I became an agent to help people, and this situation was probably the biggest impact I would see on these women’s lives, but am I ready?

I reached my apartment sooner than expected and needed some food and relaxation, this day took a strange direction and I knew I need to find a way to process it all without going crazy.  I grabbed some leftover pad thai from the fridge and headed to my bedroom, stripped out of the 4-inch heels and jeans I wore for my blind date then head into the bathroom start a bath.  Pulling out my lavender bath oils and got the water as hot as possible as I munched on the takeout.    I grabbed my phone, opened Spotify and started my relax playlist before slowly lowering myself into the steamy water, then realized I didn’t grab a bottle of wine to help be unwind.  Maybe that was a good oversite, dealing with a hangover is never fun, and if I’m called for another translation, I need to remain professional.  After my bath, I throw on my comfiest robe and plop on my bed with my laptop.  Nothing interesting on social media, I decide an evening of Netflix would hit the spot. A few episodes into The Office and I decide that getting to bed early wouldn’t be a bad idea.  

NEXT CHAPTER

[humanpursuits]

Gastroworld: A Canadian Attempt To Recreate the Travis Scott Meal

VANCOUVER – Travis Scott knows how to make an entrance.

In September, the rapper drove his candy red LaFerrari to the McDonald’s in Downey, CA, to help promote his much hyped partnership with the fast food juggernaut. Located about 15-minutes southeast of Downtown Los Angeles, the small stand is the oldest heirloom in the McDonald’s family. Preserved thanks to an early franchise agreement, the restaurant operated outside Ray Kroc’s control for nearly three decades, before being brought into the fold in 1990. These days it exists as something of a McCurio – a McDonald’s outpost devoid of modern McDonald’s designs. Familiar yet foreign, it serves as a sort of post-war cosplay, a place where product is prioritized and Instagram likes flow freely. A place perfect, in other words, for Travis Scott.

For those living outside the Hypebeast/Hypebae binary,  Travis Scott is a rapper, producer, and Kardashian procreator whose best ideas are usually other people’s ideas, but with better marketing. A byproduct of the Tumblr-era, his work carries a sense of reckless re-blogging; ideas are stripped from source material and repackaged for immediate consumption, often with little concern for optics or even legal repercussions. Beats, melodies, ad libs (Straight Up!), and even nicknames (La Flame), are all fair game. As Jason “Them Jeans” Stewart explains “He’s shamelessly taken bits and pieces, or entire identities, and resold them to fans who don’t know to care, or don’t care to know.” Nothing is wholly original, nor is it expected to be. In an era where curation is commonly confused for creation, Travis Scott operates like a wavy Criterion Collection, slapping his Cactus Jack seal of approval on a wide range of brands including Reese’s Puffs, Hot Wheels, Fortnite and Nike.

For years, the latter served as the crown jewel in his Infinity Gauntlet, but the pit stop in Downey suggests McDonald’s was in fact his key to controlling the universe. Fans got wind of the surprise visit and seized their moment to rage with La Flame. Videos show Travis signing cereal boxes from the hood of a car, as a mass of young men, aged 18 - 34, struggle to contain themselves. Police estimate as many as 500 people attended the non-sanctioned moshpit, for which Travis and the restaurant were each fined $100. Not since the Szechuan Sauce riots of 2017 has McDonald’s so clearly captured the zeitgeist. And while you might expect the merch to move (at a supersized mark-up no less), the real surprise seems to be that his less wearable food-merch also sold out in several markets.

The first, and possibly last, burger to ever go SICKO MODE, the Travis Scott Meal took McDonald’s Quarter Pounder and flipped it faster than the Texas Cyclone, adding bacon, lettuce, and another slice of cheese. He explained the changes in an interview with Jimmy Kimmel, saying “I might order my sandwich a little weird but that’s the whole thing – that’s the whip.” To complete the Butterfly Effect, he added a medium Sprite, a medium side of French Fries, and barbeque sauce to the combo. The limited edition meal, exclusive to the U.S. and only available until October 4, was so popular it strained McDonald’s supply chain as hungry customers looked to sink their teeth into the ‘The Fortnite guy burger.’

North of the 49th parallel, however, it was a different story. Canadian drive-thru operators were not only confused when I said “You know why I’m here,”, they seemed genuinely terrified to hear 3500 rattling over their headsets. If I was to taste the hottest combo of 2020, it seemed, I’d have to take the Rodeo to the kitchen. Specifically, the kitchen at my parents house.

Recreating the McDonald’s hamburger experience, however, is a Sisyphean task. On paper, the Quarter Pounder is little more than beef, salt and pepper. In practice, though,  those ingredients fail to capture the sandwich’s unique taste sensation. Determined to do Travis proud, I scoured the internet for recipes, only to realize they were all pretty much the same: divide ground beef into patties, flatten them, and then dust aggressively with salt and pepper, cooking on medium-heat. When the centre was warm-red I delicately topped the patties with two slices of American cheese.

I then prepared the store-bought toppings, frying the bacon in the left over hamburger grease, slicing onion and lettuce, and then toasting the sesame seed brioche buns in a small pan with butter. McDonald’s cooks their french fries in beef fat, which fortunately for my complexion wasn’t an option this time around, so I decided to bake my frozen friends per the instructions on the bag. To get weird, I needed to recreate McDonald’s signature barbecue sauce, which has tangy taste of well-worn leather chaps doused in moonshine and set ablaze. With my chaps at the cleaners and the moonshine still percolating, I settled for a combination of Kraft and Bullseye BBQ sauces, heated in the microwave for 30 seconds on high. Last, but not least, I filled a large glass tumbler with ice and then poured myself a crisp Sprite. The carousel began to spin.

What followed can only be described as a Travis Scott Feast. The tanginess of the barbecue sauce played perfectly off the burger and its savoury bacon. While the fries were no match for those in the little red box, they proved to be pretty damn delicious. The biggest surprise, though, was the Sprite, which I actually refilled more than once –perhaps the first time I’ve ever truly obeyed my thirst.

As I gorged myself like a Studio Ghibli creature, I realized the meal wasn’t what mattered. I had simply been looking to participate in something larger than myself. In his terrific book The Hamburger: A History, food writer Josh Ozersky argues America needed symbols like the hamburger more than other countries, due to sheer size vagueness of the nation, that “America is the great icon making nation because it requires icons more than any other nation.” In this sense, Travis Scott is an icon. Like Michael Jordan, the last celebrity to have an official McDonald’s burger, his essence is no longer tethered to his corporeal form. Instead, he’s a reverse swoosh on pair of Jordans. He’s a dissociated voice shouting “OH MY GOD” in the dark. He’s a theme park that closed for business in 2005 and was demolished in 2006. Like a shining ‘M’ off the side of the highway, Travis is just the latest tether to a distant past everyone remembers but no one experienced; a collective fever dream that insists the knowable memory is kinder and more preferable than an unknowable future. By collaborating with our nostalgia, he becomes our nostalgia.

It is, as they say, lit.

[sweets-fanfics]

Honeymoon [RE] 4

Title: Dreams do come true

wordcount:2230

warnings: Violence

AN: I love you all I hope you are staying healthy

________________________________

 Bruce had been watching the clock since 11:58. It’s now 12:00 PM. Steve waited to see when he would snap. As soon and the digital clock on the overturned to 12:01 Bruce stood up abruptly from his chair.

 “Something’s wrong.” He started grabbing his stuff and mentally preparing himself to fight.

 “Bruce, sit down sometimes Wade doesn’t let her go right away.” Steve got Bruce a cup of water and somehow got him to sit down.

 “You said it yourself earlier. She usually texts or something.”

 “I thought I said that in my mind. I apologize.” Steve pulled his phone out and put it on the table. “Call Wade.”

 “Why not you?” Bruce asked, eyeing his brother-in-law.

 “Y/N said that he’s a bit of a Captain America fanatic. He might recognize my voice.”

 Bruce sighed and picked up the phone. It rang twice.

 “Deadpool’s phone. I usually have a hot sounding lady answer the phone but she’s being an asshole and never showed up for work. Who am I speaking with?” Wade sounded annoyed and hungover.

 “Uh. I’m looking for Y/N.” Bruce said in a flat tone.

 “As I said she didn’t show up. Who’s asking? Are you that sicko that’s stalking her? Listen, buddy, I’m perfectly fine with sticking my swords up your-”

 “I’m actually her older brother. I can’t find her.”

 “Oh. Why didn’t you just say so? Yeah, I haven’t seen her but if you are willing to let me I’ll help look for her.”

 “Um… Thanks, I’ll keep you posted.”

 “Okay. Before you hang up you know you sound exactly like the guy from 13 going 30-” Bruce hung up quickly.

 “Y/N was right. He does just blabber.”

 “What did he say about Y/N?” Steve asked.

 “He said she didn’t show up but he thought I was someone that has been stalking Y/N.”

 “Stalking her?” Steve looked a bit hurt. “She never told me about her being stalked. I’m going to call Coulson. Maybe he can go over and get more information.”

 “Good idea. Wait. Why Coulson? Isn't He dead?”

 “Yeah…” Steve scratched the back of his head. “I don’t know how to start telling you about all the stuff you missed. Let’s just hurry.”

 Reader

 “Please tell me this isn’t for real?” You said tapping on the wall softly. It was just plastic. You got a fireball ready in your hand when Wanda stopped you.

 “Stop!” She yelled, making you jump.

 “What?” You said confused.

 “If you try to break out it will shock you. That’s why Natasha is out.” Bucky said, rolling his eyes. “I told her not to do it.”

 “Why are you here?” You asked him to which he just shrugged his shoulders. “Helpful. When did you wake up?”

 “Few days ago. I was on my way to surprise Steve and I woke up here. Are you two really married now?”

 “Why is that so unbelievable to people?” You asked.

 “Don’t mind him. He is probably jealous of you.” Wanda mumbled.

 You looked at both of them and sighed. “Alright, how do we get out of this?”

 “You don’t.” A new voice said making the three of us stand up and look at a metal door swing open. You could see Bucky tense up from the corner of your eye when the man stepped into the light. “My name is… Well, it doesn’t really matter. Soon none of you will remember. I just came to check on our newest arrival. Y/N Bann-”

 “Rogers.”

 He looked up at you confused.

 “It’s Y/N Rogers.”

 He gave you a kind smile that creeped the fuck out of you. “My apologies. Mrs. Rogers. You are enhanced, are you not?”

 He walked around your container like a lion stalking its prey. He was looking in an old notebook. “I am.”

 “Elements?” You nodded. “Your experiments might be more exciting. For me. Of course.” He slammed the book shut making you jump. “Sergeant Barnes knows very well about these experiments.” He gave Bucky the same kind smile and chuckled to himself. “I must go prep. Be good little rats.”

 He walked out of the room and there was a split moment of silence before Wanda spoke. “He’s that bad?”

 “Did you read my mind again?” Bucky asked. “No one should see those. Much less a little girl.”

 “I’m not a child.” Wanda pouted making her look younger.

 “Who is he?” You asked.

 “He was one of the ones that tortured me,” Bucky said. “He was one of the worst. We have to go.”

 “I can try something but if it works and I still get shocked, sorry to whoever carries me.”

 “Don’t get yourself killed. The stronger the power the stronger the shock.” Wanda said to you.

 “Close your eyes guys. I’m about to use some weird abilities.” They both shut their eyes and you pulled out the element you don’t like to use. It made you feel… evil.

 You took a deep breath and pulled on the shadows in the room. Shadow didn’t come to you willingly as all the other elements did. You always seemed to have to coax it out. You felt it and it’s velvety texture and slowly let your mind grab it.

 Once it willing let you take it all you aimed it towards all for containers. You prepared yourself for the shock and once you thought you were mentally ready you fired the shadows at all the containers making them shatter. You clearly weren’t as ready for the shock as you thought because when it hit you you slammed to the ground shaking.

 “Y/N?” A muffled voice called to you. You opened your eyes and almost started crying. Everyone had gotten out but you were still stuck. Bucky smashed his left fist into the container only to have it shock him and make the arm stop working.

 “Seriously?” he complained.

 “You...have to...get away.” You mumbled to Wanda knowing she’d be able to understand you.

 “Maybe I can use a shard from the other container and get you out.” Wanda pleaded.

 You shook your head. “Go…. get… Steve.” She looked at me sadly. “I’ll meet you… halfway.”

 She nodded as Bucky picked up Natasha. Wanda gave you one last look and then ran away before anyone noticed.

     Steve

     When Steve’s phone rang he practically broke it just trying to hit answer. “Hello?”

 “Somewhere in the middle of… I think New Mexico.” Was the first thing Wanda said.

 “Wanda?”

 “We were taken somewhere in the middle of New Mexico. Bucky, Natasha and I made it out but Y/N is still trapped in there!”

 “Bucky’s there. Put him on the phone.”

 Wanda groaned but Steve could hear her hand the phone over.

 “We are I believe New Mexico. I know you probably have this phone bugged. We need to get Y/N out.”

 “Bucky what’s going on why are you awake?”

 “They didn’t tell you? I woke up a few days ago. But worry about that later your wife is about to get tested on.”

 “Okay.” Steve looked up at Clint who was pinpointing their location. When Clint got it he showed Steve the location. “You guys are in Death Valley National park.”

 “Where the fuck is that?”

 “California.”

 “Oh.”

 “We are coming right now.”

    __________________________  

 Wade

 “Death Valley? How am I supposed to get there?” Wade asked.

 “You can borrow the jet.” The professor smiled at him.

 “So Y/N wasn’t sent by you?”

 ��I did not, I'm sorry to disappoint.”

 “It’s okay. I have to go save my secretary now.” Wade picked up your gun. “She probably misses it.”

        _____________________________  

 Reader

 (Two days later)

 Some guards tossed you back into your container. Blood splattered against the clear surface as you struggled to get on your knees.

 “Good work today Y/N. Maybe tomorrow we’ll start the mind wipe. The test won’t hurt as much after.” The scientist laughed and slammed the door leaving you alone.

 You couldn’t see out of your left eye. Your right leg had been cut open and the muscles poked and prodded. They didn’t even bother to sew you up the cut. You made a small flame at the tip of your finger and moved on your side so that you could see the gash. You screamed out as you pushed the flesh together and got ready. “I fucking hate everything.” You mumbled as you pressed the flame to the cut. You screamed so loud you felt your throat burn. You wouldn’t have a voice tomorrow but you had to get the cut closed. What probably only took a few seconds felt like hours. The pain was so horrible and yet still not as bad as what they had done.

    _______________________

 You were close to blacking out but you could hear knocking on the door. Then a voice you thought you would never hear in a place like this.

 “Secretary? Are you in this one?” Deadpool stuck his head in the room and looked directly at you. “There you are! You, young lady, have some explaining to do!” He walked up to the door of the container. “I talked to your ‘boss’,” He did quotation marks with his hands. “He said he didn’t hire you! So who do you work for!”

 You rolled your good eye. “Let’s get you out of here.” He went and pulled on the door only to have it swing open. He looked at you. “Seriously?” You pointed to your leg.

 Wade walked up to you and lifted you up. As he walked into the hallway with you in his arms a guard walked around the corner. Wade froze trying to think of how to get out of it. The poor guard didn’t have time to even attack because an arrow shot an inch past Wade’s face hitting the guard in the face.

 “Who’s this?” Clint said walking up behind the two of you. He sighed when he looked at how beat up you were. “You okay?”

 “Don’t bother Legolas, she isn’t talking,” Wade said holding you a bit tighter seeing as he didn’t really know who Clint was.

 You motioned weakly at Clint to look at you. When he did you signed to him about why you didn’t have a voice.

 “Oh. Okay.” Clint shrugged.

 “You understood that?” Wade asked.

 “I’m deaf. Y/N and I were partners for a bit so I taught her ASL in case we ever needed it.”

 “Sounds like a drug.”

 “It’s American Sign Language.”

 “Oh, I’m Canadian.”

 “Fascinating. You know they use LSQ  and ASL in Canada right?” Wade looked silently at Clint. Which annoyed him. “Okay, nevermind just hand Y/N over.”

 “No! My assistant. Get your own.” The sudden jolt of Wade moving you away made you groan softly. “Shit sorry.”

 You coughed which hurt but brought your voice back a bit. “Stop fighting.” You whispered. You turned to Clint, “Where’s Steve?”

 “He should be here soon. You okay?” You nodded. “You sound like shit.” You nodded again and pointed to your leg. “Please tell me you tried to seal up the cut by burning it?” You nodded. Clint sighed again and rubbed the top of your head softly. “You were strong. But your brother’s going to kill you.”

 That’s when you all heard the loud crash. “Speaking of.” Clint mused.

 “What the fuck was that? A bomb?” Wade jumped.

 “Worse,” Clint said lifting you from Wade’s arms and stepping out of the line of fire.

 “My brother.” You said weakly as The Hulk smashed through the hallway taking Wade with him.

 Both you and Clint looked in the hole Bruce had made. “He can regenerate, right?”

 You nodded.

 The hulk hurried back after realizing he passed you. He stopped and looked at you keeping his hands back so he wouldn’t hurt you more. You smiled softly and gave him a thumbs up. “Why did you go green?” You asked in a soft whisper.

 The Hulk looked down sad like he was getting scolded. “If you are looking for the guy who did this though,” He looked up at you. “His lab is that way. Don’t kill him though. I’m sure Steve has some words for him.”

 Hulk smirked and rampaged off in the direction you sent him. “Y/N,” Steve yelled running up to you. Clint let Steve take you out of his arms as he held you tightly hugging you and falling to his knees on the floor. “I’m so sorry it took so long. Please tell me you are okay.”

 “Aside from being blind in one eye and a huge cut on my leg. Oh and I think he broke some bones. But I’ll live.” Steve almost cried as he held your cheeks softly and kissed you.

 “I love you,” Steve said before kissing you again.

 “I love you too.”

 “What. The. Fuck!” Wade yelled. You looked over and he was pointing at you and Steve. “I fucking knew it!”

 “Wade.” You said softly. “I think it’s time you know. I’m not actually an X-men. I’m an Avenger….” Wade looked at you. “But you were wrong. I’m not dating Captain America.” Steve then looked at you funny. “I’m not dating him, because we are actually married.”

 Wade looked like he was going to pass out.

 “My name is Y/N Rogers.”

[lovemesomesurveys]

2 for 1 special.

1. Are you one of those survey takers who take off tags? Why or why not? No, that’s really shitty. There’s rarely a tag on the surveys I find, whether there wasn’t one to begin with or someone else removed it, but if there is one I keep it there.  2. What kind of signs do you use when you pose for pictures? (i.e peace signs, thumbs up, rock, etc) I don’t make any signs. My signature pose is I slightly angle my head a certain way and give a closed mouth smile. 3. How often do you clean your room? Ugh, my room is bad right now. It’s really cluttery. I have too much stuff and not enough space. I’ve been wanting to go through and get rid of some things, but I just can’t seem to muster up the energy. Or the motivation. :/ It’s driving me nuts cause my room used to always be clean, but now it’s messy like me. 4. Where do you find new bands? I generally find new music on Spotify, but sometimes from my brother. 5. Do you have a favorite survey taker around xanga? If so, who? Well, obviously not Xanga (RIP), but there’s a pretty great group of us survey takers on here. Ya’ll know who you are. (:

6. How about survey maker? Do you have a favorite? I did, but they don’t make surveys anymore I don’t think. :( 7. What color is your computer chair? I always have my laptop on my bed. 8. When you buy a magazine, do you cut out the pictures that you like so you can put them on the wall, or do you keep the magazine the way it is? I did in my preteen and early teenage years. 9. Do you like to read? If so, what kind of books do you read and who is your favorite author, if you have one? I love to read. I like YA, NA, mystery, and psychological thriller.  10. Do you make 'To Do' lists often? No, but if I actually have something I need to do I’ll sometimes set a reminder on my phone. 11. Who is your worst teacher? And why is he/she the worst? I’m done with school. 12. Do you organize your files on your computer? Yeah. 13. Isn't it funny how almost every survey asks what your favorite color is? That one doesn’t bother me. There’s other repetitive questions that irk me, though. 14. How long can you go without eating? My appetite fluctuates. There’s days where I hardly eat anything or don’t eat anything until much later in the day. There’s bad days where I don’t eat at all, but I don’t allow more than a day, though. If my appetite is that messed up I have to make myself try and eat something.  15. Do you carry a bag when you go out? I’ve been using a mini backpack. I’ve been into those instead of a purse now. 16. Have you seen that Converse high heels? Would you wear it if you had the chance to? I’ve seen them... they don’t appeal to me at all. I couldn’t wear them anyway. 17. Do you have a motto in life? Or any saying that you believe in? Meh. 18. How often do you pray? Not as often as I should /: <<< I tell myself I need to more, but for some reason I don’t.  19. Do you have any bad habits? Oh do I. 20. Do you want to change your name? If so what name do you want? No thanks. I've already been Stephanie for so long. To change my name now would just be weird. . . <<< Haha, same! 21. Do you like wearing flip flops? I never wear flip flops or any kind of sandal or open toed shoe. 22. What Math subject is your favorite? (I.e. Algebra, Statistics, Business Math, Trigonometry, Geometry, etc.) None of them, you sicko. 24. How about Science? I like psychology, which falls under the social sciences category. 25. Would you ever dye your hair? If so what color? I’ve dyed my hair numerous times. I had blonde highlights for several years, went black one year, and since 2015 I’ve been dyeing my hair red. 26. What is the funniest thing that happened to you today? Nothing so far, it’s only 5 in the morning. Only 5 in the morning, ha. I need to go to bed. 27. Do you wish during 11:11? Nope. 28. Do you know the site PostSecret.com? If you do not, check it, now! I’m familiar with it, yes. It’s been around for several years. 29. Do you have a favorite Youtuber? If so, who? And what is your favorite video by them? I have several. 30. If you have to pick JUST ONE between TV, iPod, and computer, what would you pick and why? Computer. I can do pretty much anything on my computer. <<< Yeah, that’s an easy one. I swapped iPod for iPhone and still picked computer. 31. Do you study for exams? What subject do you study the most for? I did when I was in school. I studied for all my exams. 32. What is something that you do not like? A lot of things. 33. Have you ever liked a band because of their looks? No, I like bands/artists for their music. If they’re attractive, that’s just an added bonus. 34. Do you have trust issues? It’s not really that. I just have a hard time opening up to people and expressing myself. I tend to keep a lot to myself. 35. What is the appropriate length for a survey? I like at least 25 questions, but more is better.  Do you keep notes, drawings or letters that people give you? Yes. Have you ever been locked in a car with a bf/gf? No. Have you had a bf/gf that you never kissed? No. How do you know you love someone, personally? I just know. I don’t feel like getting all deep right now. Would you ditch friends to be with a bf/gf? No. I mean, unless my boyfriend really needed me in that moment or something came up. “Ditch” sounds harsh, though. I’d let them know and try to reschedule.  How many true best friends are present in your life? I just have my family, which I’m perfectly fine with. Do you currently have a significant other? No. Do your parents approve of the people you hang out with? I’m 30 years old and don’t have any friends, but they never had an issue with any of my friends. Would you be able to stand being in the same room as someone you hate? I don’t hate anyone. If I really didn’t like someone; though, I could still be civil. I wouldn’t have to interact with them, and if I did I would be polite, but keep it short. I wouldn’t say more than I needed to. I’m sure it would be awkward, though. Even uncomfortable, depending on the situation.  Do you depend on people at all, in any way? Yes. I’ve become pretty dependent these past few years, especially. Have you ever lost a close friend? That’s life. Has anybody ever held a grudge against you for a dumb reason? Not to my knowledge. Think of your current or last bf/gf. Do you/did you love them? I did, but no, not anymore. I don’t have any bad feelings towards them, though. Has anybody criticized the way your significant other looked like? I’m single currently, but that didn’t happen in the past. Not to my face, anyway. Do you date different people til you find the right one, or do you wait? I’ve been single for almost 7 years.  Have you ever stayed up late talking to a bf/gf on the phone or online? Yes. Do your friends like the people you date? Do their friends like you? My friends had an issue with Joseph because they didn’t like how he treated me. Do your parents let you date, or do you sneak around? I’m 30 years old. I can’t use “my parents don’t let me date” as an excuse for why I’ve been single haha.  Have you ever felt backstabbed by a close friend? Yes. Do you have any handshakes with anybody? No. Do you feel you can rely on anybody to always be there for you? Yes, my family. Have you ever regretted ignoring anybody? I’ve regretted pushing certain people away. Have you ever kissed someone in their bedroom, or in yours? No. Has a friend of yours ever confessed their love to you? Not romantically, but I had a friend who got really lovey dovey when she was drunk and would start crying and telling me she loved me lol. Have you gone out with someone, then ruined the friendship you had before? Yes. Can you trust any of your friends at full capacity? I trust my family with my life. Is the word 'love' even in your vocabulary? Yes. Who do you think is more confusing, males or females? People in general are confusing. Have you written or drawn anything for somebody else? Written, yes. Can you be your complete and honest self in front of anyone? Yeah. Do you tend to hide your emotions from certain people? Yes. I also downplay a lot. Do you have any pictures of yourself with a bf/gf? Yeah, somewhere. Do your friends know how to make you smile in tough times? I don’t have friends, but yes my family does. Do you have inside jokes with anybody? Yeah. Has anybody said they loved you, but you didn't love them back? Yes. Is there anyone you don't like that always seems to be everywhere you are? Myself. Haaa. Is there anyone you care about more than you care for yourself? My loved ones. They’re the most important thing to me. Who in your life is your number one priority to make sure they're happy? I want my loved ones to be happy. 

[wicthdragon]

To Out a Perv And A Kidnapper

Section 1 I am going to go in to pray for anyone who is not into this please go get yourself a snack or food or drink. Thank you for your time and to give a warning this will be long as hell and when I Go in I will be going in. Nemesis Goddess of Revenge I call upon our aid I call your add to help me get what I Have been seeking yarning for all of my life. I call upon you for your help to take what is mine to stunt on these bitches theses hoes these criminals for all their wrongdoing their crimes against me for kidnapping me and their rape against me let their lives turn to dust let their dependents suffer for their crimes as well until they make it right to me. In your name ever bright Nemesis I ask for your help in this rite thank you my dear Goddess.Section 2 let’s begin  The main reason for this is simple to the rapist that fucked part of my life up never served a day in prison as far as I know everyone pretty much took his side against me my whole life except my father George Schaefer Sr who I wish was allowed to kill him.But sadly he was not and he is alive now making me sick.So now right now I take back myself I cannot get back the life that was taken that is gone not one but twice which I will go in to the next section, However this bitch this sick fuck destroyed an apart me of I cannot get back and he never paid a day in jail for it ever  not too long ago filled charges who knows what if anything will happen with that so this is the only way the one chance I got is to expose him. I found out I am not the only victim he has while I will not speak their names they can handle him the way they want to or they can do nothing that is there right, I will not say there name because I cannot tell their story but I can tell mine. Granted I do not like one of them and I care or remember my feelings for the other victim’s father so for respect for that I will not speak their names. Granted I do not like the one victim but even she does not deserve what happened other things in life yes this no, that said this is about me this is about my healing and dare I say revenge.The horrible things this sicko did to me how do you do that to a five year old I will never get, how does the law not help or step in and then send you to another house where you did it to someone else base on what I hear at least. This is beyond my understanding but without further ado it is time for me to tell who you are I waited over 30 plus years for this and no one is taking it from me.My rapist is George John Schaefer the 3thed.He  was a teen when he did this to me in 1985 he got away with it as I stated before people made excuses for him kept me from my justice for decades well not no more. His name for people in the back is George Schaefer the 3thd. he destroyed a part of my life I cannot get back. My poor twin brother could not help during this time which left a hole of guilt inside him to this day and that is because of you.  I do not know you are a sick fuck, but you are none the less. I cannot believe years ago I found out you are my older nephew.  The one that destroyed a part of me, the part I have been looking for ever since. That is something I can never forgive but soon you are going to pay just because you have a business in NYC and at times live in Texas does not mean you will escape justice or vengeance you are and will pay for what you did to us period.Now to Section 3 Now on to the cps that fucked up my life and kidnaped me I know I talked about this before and I will again so sit back and here the recap.First you people did nothing the first time just removed him from my older brothers home and sent him with his sister who had young kids at the time, wait did you not think he would do it again? Yeah ok.Like that never happens you people are scum real scum and useless and kidnappers right to the core.And then years later had the nerve to tell me we do not prosecute ok fine but ya don’t investigate either you people are not shit and deserve to have your origination destroyed and defunded and if I am still breathing I will find a way to do that I promise you that.Also lets fast forward back to 96 they rear there ugly little heads back in to my life yet again first they never investigated any of my so-called family they kidnaped me and put me with oh know where were was plenty on all of them that they are not suited to put a house cat with or a plant. Second base on my looking around and siring shit up I found they should have asked me at 16 where I would have preferred to go then they are supposed to investigate well guess the fuck what? They failed on both counts not I do not know if it’s because they are lazy as fuck or they are corrupted or because they wanted to get rid of me for some other reason. Now I do not know I cannot say that is purely a viewpoint however in a week or little under a mouth is not enough time to do what they did and why the rush? Why the rush? I smell corruption at its finest and the kidnapped ruin yet and still another part of my life. Also furthermore when this bitch ass man Named David Stratton came in to my life and ruined it I might add he was rude mean and cruel to myself along revictimizing me again when my rapist George the 3thed was there and did that hmm give pause not to kidnap and put me with people who had no business near ? Hell no. well he just did it anyway.I wish any way part of me 23 years later wishes I killed them both then maybe this messed would never have happened  but then I be locked up so either way id be fucked so yeah. But I tell you what these bitches got away with way too much all I got left is to expose them no matter if anyone believes me or wants to hear it I AM ABOUT TO DO IT just the same to Hackensack NJ office of cps on state street. I hope all of your descendants suffer because of what you did to me. If there is any real true justice in this all of you will pay for what you did to me partially David most of all will pay for all your sins against me.Section 4 I know I cannot change my past sadly all of you got away with your crimes to me both New Jersey and Texas but this will help me heal by making all of you suffer. That said I would like to take the time to thank people who have supported me and the few who knew what I am planning thank you for keeping my secret until it was time for this to come out. I also like to thank my Mom for helping me put this together and her working with my father even tho they cannot stand each other it means a lot , I know we had many talks on this and our come to terms moments thank you both for that. I like to thank both of my spouses/mates for your help in getting this together. I also want to say how grateful I am for all of you and for my children and grandchildren for being the bright part of my life that makes me want to live at all evens for 6 minutes means the world to me. Now after today maybe once I get what I want while the healing is ongoing I can begin a new chapter In my life...Truly yours  WicthDragon.

[hotdogjumpingfrog5]

It’s Strange - Chapter 18

Previous Chapters: Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight, Chapter Nine, Chapter Ten, Chapter Eleven, Chapter Twelve , Chapter Thirteen, Chapter Fourteen, Chapter Fifteen , Chapter Sixteen, Chapter Seventeen

~

March 21st, 1987

It was Thursday night, and both the Byers and Hopper side came together for the first time for dinner. Jim and Joyce were now serious, and they figured now was a good time for both families to interact. 

Both Will and El hadn’t interacted a whole lot, but tonight would be an opportunity for them to get to know each other a bit better.

Johnathan and Emma on the other hand, knew each other more, but were not 100% close either. 

Jim and Joyce had decided to go to a local Italian restaurant, a place where everyone will like what is served. Compromise. 

Hopper, Eleven, and Emma were the first ones to arrive, and about two minutes later, the Byers had entered.

After being seated, there was a few moments of silence while everyone looked at their menus, while at the same time figuring out what to say to each other. 

“So,” Hopper began, “How’s everyone’s life going?”

“Good.” Johnathan and Emma responded

Hopper and Joyce looked over at Eleven and Will, while Johnathan and Emma turned around to look after they didn’t respond

Will and Eleven were sitting across from each other, staring into each other’s eyes intensely, almost as if they were communicating through telepathy. 

“Will? Jane?” said Joyce

They had the same response as Johnathan and Emma, but almost immediately went back to staring at each other. 

“So Johnathan, how is university coming along?” Jim asked, “And how’s Nancy?”

“It’s going good, I have a few exams coming up in a couple of weeks.” Johnathan responded, “And me and Nancy are doing well, thanks for asking.”

“Very good.” Hopper smiled

“And what about you, Emma?” said Joyce

“It’s good. Zoology is interesting.” Em replied

“I bet it is!” said Joyce, “Oh, how’s your mother and stepsister doing?”

“They’re good, me and my sister Lucy’s relationship is better than it was two years ago of course.” Emma laughed

As Joyce, Johnathan, and Emma were in their own conversations, Jim had zoned out and looked over at Eleven and Will. 

They were still staring into each other’s eyes intensely, not looking away nor blinking. Almost as if they were having an internal conversation with each other; another language nobody else could understand.

“Jane. Will.” said Jim, “Join in on the conversation.”

The two of them had broken eye contact, and joined in with the rest of them.

“Do you guys stare at each other like that when you hang out?” Johnathan chuckled

“We’re only now getting to know each other.” said Will

Emma gave her younger sister a look, in which Eleven responded with an annoyed expression.

As far as the night was going, all of them felt some sort of connection with each other, aside from Joyce and Hopper, who had already felt a connection between each other a long while.

Johnathan and Emma knew each other since it was only four of them including Nancy and Steve in their group, but Johnathan and Emma were getting to know each other a bit better.

As for Eleven and Will, it was almost as if they felt an immediate connection right away.

Because who knows, they could be possible step siblings very soon.

~

April 3rd, 1987

It is just after 5:30, and Ella was going to head to Beverly’s house for the night. After she finished her mother’s chicken noodle soup. But she knew her and Beverly would be having takeout later on, but she’d never tell her mother of course.

“Okay Ellie bear,” said Sonia, “Make sure you take your vitamins with you, or you will get sick.”

She didn’t like being called Ellie, and her mom was the worst for saying it. But as normal, gave her a fake smile and replied with “Yes, mommy.”

“Good girl, and make sure it’s just you and Marsh tonight, aside from her guardian.” Sonia continued, “If you shower, make sure you use towels Beverly hasn’t used; I wouldn’t want her to give you any STDs or AIDs.”

At this point Ella wasn’t listening, and made her way to the porch to get ready to leave.

“And where do you think you’re off to?” Eddie came in, sounding just like their mom

“I told you earlier, Bev’s.” Ella responded, “And by the way, you’re my twin brother, not mom.”

“I’m older than you, I know what’s best.”

There hasn’t been a week where Eddie hasn’t said that to her.

“Yeah, right.” El responded, and shut the door behind her

She made her way down the path which lead to the end of their driveway, and Richie was just lurking around the corner, headed up the path.

“Hi Ella.” Richie said smugly

“Don’t talk to me, trashmouth.” El mumbled, still pissed about the ridiculous April Fool’s jokes he pulled the other day

“What did I do?” said Richie, “All I did was pour water in your backpack on Wednesday!”

“You also trashed my room and went through my stuff when you were up on Wednesday you sicko!” Ella said annoyed

“You like it.”

She gave him the bird in response, not wanting to be bothered with Richie

“Rude!” said Richie, “I’m going to tell Mrs. K you were not being nice!”

“Perv!” she said while punching in the arm, then ran off

As soon as Ella hit the next block, she caught her breath and chuckled at what she did, not wanting to show any sort of emotion around Tozier

Later on that night, Beverly and Ella walked the streets that evening after dinner, getting up to shit neither Bev’s aunt or Ella’s mom would not approve of.

That stuff being two sixteen/fifteen year old girls walking around at night. 

But as long as they didn’t find out.

Eventually, the two of them made their way back to Bev’s apartment, as they were both getting exhausted

It was 11 o’clock when they got back, but they decided to go to bed earlier than they normally would. But would stay up chatting for a while, of course.

This time Ella slept on the floor. Tonight Beverly was feeling okay, and wasn’t getting any sinister flashbacks about her now deceased father. 

“Did you get up to much after school today?” Bev asked

“Not really,” El responded, “Eddie has turned into our mom, and Richard is a douche.”

“Oh dear, what did those boys do this time?” Beverly chuckled

Though it was all minor, she still gave a short rant about the two.

“But why did Richie go through your stuff?” Bev questioned, “Based on what you told me and what trashmouth has done to you in the past, it does sound to me that he likes -”

“No Bev,” El rolled her eyes, “Not gonna happen. I can’t see myself going after my brother’s friend.”

“You suuure?” Beverly smirked

“Yes, please stop.” El chuckled, “How’s you and Ben doing anyway?”

“We’re good”

Ella just then remembered of what happened a month ago the night she looked after Georgie. Bill had originally asked Bev to do it, but Beverly had to cancel last minute.

El vaguely remembers Bill giving her the key, and played a game or two with Georgie before he did his own thing and she sat in the living room. 

Nothing seemed too out of place until Georgie stared at her with a creepy grin from across the room before muttering “Come join the clown, Eds.”

“Uh, what?” El asked, confused

“I saw a clown before.” Georgie giggled, “He was so funny!”

Then, would go back to himself. No more creepy grin, and Georgie continued as if that episode never even happened.

She had mentioned it to Bill when he got home later that evening, and Bill was slightly suspicious himself. Though he had said this rarely happened, and brushed it off as Georgie’s imagination going wild. Besides, Georgie hadn’t done anything else that entire night. 

Eddie had told her about a particular clown the other losers faced months before El had joined them. Could it have been the same one? 

Ella had mentioned that to Beverly on the spot, and Bev’s expression changed as she stared up to the ceiling, heart thumping

“Something wrong?” El asked

“Did you see anything?” Bev questioned

“No, why?”

“Okay. I just hope It’s not back.” said Beverly, “I could have sworn we killed that clown two years ago. Did you feel like you were being watched after Georgie said that?”

“Kind of, but I guess that’s just because it freaked me out.” Ella brushed it off

Beverly sat up in bed, wondering why this happened. Though Ella’s weird encounter with Georgie happened a month ago, no one has gone missing in Derry-Hawkins.

El mentioned that she forgot about it as soon as she left, and as did Bill, as he did not mention it to the group.

“You know, I see why Eddie is overprotective of you.” 

“Nah, he’s just being his bossy self, Eddie might as well be my second mom.” Ella shrugged

“No El, you don’t understand!” Beverly insisted, “He doesn’t want you to be in any form of danger, or fall into It or whatever is out there’s clutches.”

“But what else could be out there? I thought you guys said It was gone?”

Both the losers and the party have encountered seeing something weird one by one, but no one could lay a finger on it. No one has gone missing since two years ago, and Derry-Hawkins was considered safe again, even though the 7 pm curfew sign was still up in front of Derry High, two years later. 

The Derry police never did take it down.

Beverly sighed, not knowing how she was feeling at this point, but mostly fearful

She felt this chill go up her spine, and realized El was the newest member of the losers club, and hoping It wouldn’t come back for El, since she too was a girl.

But It can’t come for her though, Beverly thought, It only comes out every 27 years, right?

~

Next Chapter: Chapter 19

[makknays]

never again.

requested by anon

Hello! Is it okay if I request a Jungkook angst? A very angsty one that boh JK and Y/n are screaming at each other and Y/N almost commited a very painful suicide because JK keeps on putting Y/N aside because of his Ex that came back to korea something like that. And a good ending please. Thank you :)

 genre: angst

word count: 2312

warning(s): mentions of attempted suicide and mental health disorders (i dont take this topic lightly and neither should you, but should this trigger you, please do not read this)

You felt as though every time Jungkook and you argued you went on autopilot and automatically screamed to back him; you knew you were giving in, giving into everything you were against. Everything you feared. The very reason for these frequent fights was because his ex was coming back, back to Korea. The very place you had been calling home since she left, since she left him. He had been acting as though she were the priority, even though you were the one that had been there for him throughout all of this. What did she do? She left him heartbroken, unable to do anything, you were there for him throughout all of that and slowly your support became something more.

“For fuck’s sake, ___, not everything is about you!” Jungkook shouted. “I never said it had to be.” you calmly replied to him. “You’re implying it though; just because she was a bad person doesn’t mean she still is. I just wanna be friends with her anyway, what’s your problem?” “My problem is that she left broken and I had to come sweeping in and comfort you.” “I never asked you to do that!” “Well, sorry for being a good person!” “I can’t deal with you right now, I’m leaving!” “You’re seriously just gonna go in the middle of an argument?” “I’m leaving before I do something I regret!” he replied and slammed the front door.

Days had passed and Jungkook hadn’t bothered to reappear in your apartment, he was probably spending time with his ex. It wasn’t that you were jealous, that was just a minor fraction but you were scared that he would end up as hurt as he was before or that he would leave you in the state he used to be in. You were already struggling very much before the notice of his ex coming back arose; your struggle was the reason you were prescribed this and that. You never wanted to depend on these drugs so badly but it was inevitable for you, eventually you would have had to take them in order to ‘get better’. 

You had missed your prescription for many days and you thought you were doing fine, that was until he showed up with her, in your home. “Hey, babe, are you home? I wanna introduce you to someone!” Jungkook called as he opened your front door and made his way into your apartment. You emerged from the kitchen, you had grabbed your tub of ice cream and appeared in front of your boyfriend and, to your dismay, his ex. “___, this is Subin.” he smiled as he wrapped his left arm around her shoulders and squeezed gently. “Nice to meet you, I’m ___.” “Jungkook has told me so much about you! I hope we can be good friends!” she squealed. “That reminds me, ___? We’re going out tonight so feel free to join us!” Jungkook chuckled as he sat down on the sofa. “Don’t worry, I’m staying in for the night.” “Aw, babe, haven’t you been doing that every night?” he pouted. “Yeah, and I’m perfectly comfortable here.” you smiled as you made your way into your bedroom, which led to your balcony.

You sat down with your ice cream tub in one hand and your phone in the other; without even thinking you dialed the number of someone you could trust, Min Yoongi. “___? Is everything okay?” he worriedly asked you. “Right now? Yeah, but Jungkook decided to show up to my house with his ex girlfriend.” “He’s with that sicko? After all she did to him? He was on hiatus for a year! A whole fucking year because of her! But now they’re friends?” “Apparently so.” you answered while taking a spoonful of ice cream.

“How are you dealing with that?” Yoongi asked you after he had calmed down from his mini rant. “I’m not too bad right now.” “Right now, huh?” “You never really know how you’ll feel in the future.” you told him as you continued to feast on the ice cream. “We’re going now, babe! Have fun!” Jungkook called before the door shut with a bang. “Did he just leave?” Yoongi asked you. “Yup.” “Do you want me to come over?” “Yes, please, before I do something stupid.”

“___, wake up! Fuck, what did you do? ___, please, fucking wake up! Yes, hello? 119? My friend just overdosed on her medication, please send immediate help!” “___, please, don’t do this to yourself, why would you do this? Is it because of him and her? ___, please fucking wake up! You can’t leave me behind, I was supposed to protect you! Wake the fuck up!” Yoongi cried in distress, he had found you on the ground with the bottle of pills spilt on the ground and immediately attempted to wake you up but failed. He was supposed to be protecting you like an older brother but he was too late.

“We’re currently stabilising her conditions, do you know what she took?” “They were some kind of anti-depressants, here’s the bottle. Will she be alright?” “It’s hard to say right now, she’s not waking up as of right now and her oxygen to carbon dioxide ratio is deadly but we’ll try our best.” the doctor said as he entered your room once again. “You can’t be doing this to me. Did you seriously do this? You have so much to live for.” Yoongi muttered.

Jungkook had been notified of the situation but didn’t seem to making an appearance any time soon. “We came as soon as we heard.” the other five members said as they each appeared in the hospital. “Where’s Jungkook?” Seokjin asked. “In some club with that Subin.” Yoongi spitefully replied. “Are you kidding me? Subin? Is he crazy?” Namjoon groaned. “Apparently they’re on good terms.” Yoongi muttered. “Seriously? After she left him in such a state? ___ was the one who was there, not her ass.” Taehyung ranted. “Is he coming any time soon?” Yoongi asked. “Doesn’t seem like it, I’ve sent him 30 something messages and he hasn’t read a single one of them.” Jimin muttered. “I didn’t know this boy was stupid enough to do this, to be in a club with his ex and leave his girlfriend to overdose.” Hoseok muttered as he placed his head in his hands.“Does he even care about her?” Jimin muttered.

Hours had passed and you seemed to be taking your time with recovering, “How is she?” “There’s minimal signs of recovery but her breathing’s somewhat better, we’re still trying.” Jungkook also failed to show up to the hospital, it was nearing 4am and everyone was knocking out but not Yoongi, Yoongi couldn’t sleep until he knew you were conscious. “Where is that stupid maknae?” Yoongi muttered, the anger rising in him as he messed with his phone.

“He’s on his way.” “Are you serious? Is there even any point, it’s been over 16 hours since I got here and now he decides to appear?” Yoongi responded. “Hyung, we all know he’s an idiot, so let’s just deal with him when he appears.” Jimin told him as he stood up to find some food. When Jungkook appeared, he was with Subin, and strolled in like it was nothing. He looked immaculate while everyone else had been sitting in their sweats for hours on end. “What time do you call this?” Yoongi growled. “3pm?” “Not the time, idiot! Your girlfriend has been in there for 16 hours and still hasn’t gained conscious from her overdose and you stroll in with this monster you call a woman as if it’s a mundane thing to do!” Yoongi shouted, the anger and stress of the situation had gotten to him and he could no longer keep it inside.

“One. I didn’t know which hospital she was in. Two. I was hungover. Three. My phone was off until this morning.” Jungkook replied as he took a seat next to Hoseok, who then moved away from him. “Okay, listen kid, your girlfriend who didn’t leave your side once overdosed herself which means she attempted suicide, why? Because of your ass. And for the record, we told you the hospital, you shouldn’t have been out clubbing with this woman and your phone should have been on for emergencies like this.” Yoongi told him from the seat closest to your room.

“Why are you all here anyway, she’s my girlfriend?” he muttered. “Without me, you could kiss your girlfriend goodbye. If she hadn’t told me to come over to stop her from doing this, she would have been dead!” “Then why didn’t you stop here?” Jungkook said, raising his voice. “I was too late but not as late as you.” Yoongi muttered as he walked out of the department and eventually the building. 

“Is that really how you guys see me? Am I just a monster to you?” a small voice asked. “Subin, know your place. This isn’t about you.” Taehyung snapped while fiddling with his phone. “Don’t worry, I’m sure they don’t mean it.” “Snap out of it Jungkook! We do not like her, we never did! You should be concerned about your girlfriend who is in there, closer to death than ever, not this girl you used to fuck!” Seokjin shouted out of frustration. “I think I should leave.” “No, stay.” Jungkook told her. “Let her fucking go, Jungkook. She has no place here.” Namjoon warned him. “Okay, I’ll see you later.”

“You’re an idiot, you know? You’re tearing us all apart and your girlfriend is in a battle with Death himself right now but all you seem to care about is her, open your eyes, kid.” Namjoon told him as he left to go for a walk. Eventually everyone had left Jungkook alone, he would finally have time to think over his actions. The reality of the situation hadn’t hit him until he was alone, he could lose you, his life partner, his saviour, how had he been so blind? Why was he so distracted by an ex who had done him nothing but harm.

“Min Yoongi-ssi?” the doctor called out. “Yes? Is she okay?” “She’s finally regained consciousness.” “Thank God, can we see her?” “Be my guest.” After a long 37 hours you were finally awake, a huge weight lifted of Yoongi’s shoulders and he felt as though he could breathe again. “Hey, kiddo, you alright?” he asked as he entered your room. “Could be better.” you muttered as you attempted to eat something. “Why did you do it, if you can’t answer, don’t?” Yoongi questioned. “I had missed a couple days of medication and thought I could make up for it this way, I also wanted to leave this place, so badly. Everything I have been doing led up to the moment he walked out of the door with her.” “Don’t blame yourself, it’s far from your fault.” “You look tired.” you pouted. “I haven’t slept in a ridiculous amount of time.” “Is it because of me? If so, I’m sorry.” “Don’t be. I’m okay.” “Liar.” “Whatever, do you wanna see the others?” 

You nodded in response and the rest of BTS flooded into the room, “How you doing?” Jimin asked you. “Alright, I’m sorry I made you all worry, I was being stupid.” “No, you weren’t stupid, you just wanted out, you wanted an exit. You weren’t stupid though.” Namjoon told you, causing you to smile, he understood you. “You know who was stupid though? Jungkook.” Seokjin told you. “Why?” “He was nowhere to be seen for almost half the time you were in here and he appeared with Subin.” he nagged. The name felt as though you had been shot in the chest with a machine gun that had no end. “Idiot.” Taehyung remarked from the side. 

“Where is he anyway?” Yoongi asked. “I’m here. And I’ve had a lot of time to think about what I’ve done this past week or however long it’s been.” “Spill it, kid.” Namjoon told him. “With you all here?” “I want them here.” you told him as he walked towards you and took your left hand in his. “___, I’m sorry for being so blind to the situation you were in, I’m sorry I was oblivious to your struggle, when I was thinking about it, I didn’t understand why I was so absorbed in Subin, I guess it was because the memories I shared with her were overpowering but I should have known better that I should have made more memories with you. The thought of almost losing you broke me, I didn’t realise the reality of it all until I was left completely alone, it felt bad, I felt helpless but I only felt that for a couple hours, I don’t even understand how you must’ve felt. I was such a bad boyfriend for these past few weeks, picking a fight on you whenever and not truly caring for you, I hate that I did this and that I can’t reverse time but please forgive me so I can make this all up to you.”

“How do you plan on doing that?” you asked him after his meaningful monologue. “I will never let you out of my sight and I will do whatever you want, go on the dates you want and spend all the time that I have with you, in order to make new memories with you. I can’t risk losing you, not when I know what it’s like when you were so close to death.” “Okay.” “Okay?” Jungkook replied. “Yeah, okay.” “___, he just confessed so much to you and spilt his heart and emotions and you replied with okay?” Hoseok asked, clearly holding in his laughter. “What else is there to say to that?” you chuckled. “Glad to know, you’re still you, my love.”

[toxic-kis]

36 Odd things about you.

Learn 36 things about your friends and let them learn 36 things about you!

1. Do you like blue cheese?

Omfg no

2. Have you ever smoked cigarettes?

Yes, I can’t quit 🤷🏼‍♀️

3. Do you own a gun?

No

4. What flavor Kool-aid?

None

5. Do you get nervous before a Dr Appt?

Stupidly, yes

6. What do you think of hot dogs?

They smell nasty, taste ok 

7. Favorite movie?

Harry potters 👌🏼

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?

Cold af juice

10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?

If piercings don’t count, a necklace but jewellery irritates the fuck outa me

11. Do you have a favorite hobby?

Crocheting

12. Do you have A.D.D?

Nope.

13. Do you wear glasses?

Yes, meant to wear them constantly but it ruins my makeup so no thanks xo

14. Who was your childhood hero?

My dadda

15. Name 3 thoughts at this moment:

Man I’m thirsty, happy to have my boy home, I need a fag!

16. Name three drinks you drink:

Water, monster, oasis

17. Current worries:

Anxiety, about everything

18. (a few) Current hates:

A few? Ha. I could go on all day

19. Favorite place to be?

At home with my mumma and my boy

20. How did you bring in the new year?

With the bf & son

21. Where would you like to go?

Amsterdam

22. Name 3 people that will do this:

No idea

23. Do you own slippers?

Yes I’m not a sicko

24. What color shirt are you in?

Black, like always

25. Do you like sleeping in satin sheets?

Get way to hot and I’m not rich enough for that shit

26. Can you whistle?

I can, but currently not because of my new lip piercing

27. Where are you now?

At home on the sofa

28. Would you be a pirate?

Drink rum everyday, hunt for treasure, have a sword? Fuck yh

29. What song do you sing in the shower?

Scars - iPrevail / Blood - Breaking Benjamin

30. Favorite sports team?

Sports? Ha

31. Favorite food?

A fresh salad or a beastly burger, no in between

32. What's in your pocket?

No pockets in leggings, disappointingly

33. The last thing that made you laugh?

My bf being a gangster pigeon

34. What's your favorite animal?

I can’t pick one, I’m too much of an animal lover. Dogs & cats tho

35. Worst injury?

Broken wrist

36. How many TV's in your house?

2

Copy, paste, change answers to your own.

[bambamsgotjams]

S. Coups As A Father

Title: S. Coups As A Father

Requested: can you do a mini series maybe with seventeen as fathers? I love your work, keep it up!!

A/N: Okay, this is my first time doing something like this so stick with me and let me know if this sucks. (I even think I got a little carried away at some point)

Alrighty, let’s get started here

Everyone basically already knows that this boy is daddy asf

And no, not like that you sickos

Seungcheol is like a natural born father

Father like instincts just come pretty natural to him

I mean, it’s not like he’s raised 12 kids on his own already with occasional help from his wife Jeonghan but let’s not get into that

Basically this boy was an excited puppy when you finally told him that you were pregnant with his first child

At first you were nervous about telling him because he would come home from practices and would start to complain to you with how much of a pain in the ass his children were being that day and that he never signed up to be a father in the first place to these children

So you decided to tell him subtly by leaving little hints about it

You would coo at every baby the two of you passed and stated about how you guys would have cute babies like that someday

Occasionally you would ask if you could stop in the baby section of the store because you loved to look at cute baby stuff

Coups never questioned because he thought that it was you just being you and weird and stuff like that

His suspicions eventually came up when you began to serve him baby carrots every night for dinner

Like sure he told you he loved carrots but he wasn’t in love with them

Plus he’s sure he’s eaten so many of them by now that he was turning orange

Not to mention that you legit tried serving him baby food one time

So one night he decided to confront you about it

During that night’s daily cuddle session between the two of you he randomly popped up the question

“What’s with all of this baby stuff all of a sudden, you’re acting like you actually want a child.”

He didn’t really mean for it to sound the way that it did because he was secretly wanting one ever since the two of you got married but he was too afraid to ask

You were kind of shocked at his statement and you swore your heart kind of broke in the heat of his question because you were afraid that he actually didn’t want a baby so being pregnant and emotional you began to cry

Seungcheol’s instincts kicked in and he tried his best to comfort you, kind of curious about what he said that actually made his special lady cry

He would try everything he could to make what he said sound good but only failing miserably at that

“I’m actually pregnant you ass”

That would shut him up immediately and he would be complete silent for like 5 minutes before breaking out into a huge smile and nearly squeezing you to death with squealing

He would apologize to you and explain that he actually wanted a child like his entire life and that he was just way too nervous to ask you or talk to you about it

You would except his apology and tell him to just stop rambling and finish cuddling you before you left to go do your own thing

Seungcheol would be that really protective husband over everything that you do

He would always be cautious and ask you questions on whether it was really safe for you to be doing what you were doing

Things like that would include reaching for things on high shelves

He would gently push you aside and scold you saying that you should just ask him to get it next time so that way you don’t have to overwork your body just to get a box of cereal

But you weren’t even like showing yet so you were kind of confused about why he was acting all daddy mode before you were even a month in your pregnancy

You didn’t question it though because you enjoyed being pampered from head to toe by your husband

His new favorite activity was coming home from work and running a bubble bath for you and him while rubbing your tummy as the two of you relaxed

He would be an emotional wreck at your first ultrasound and ask the doctor if he could have like 30 copies to give to everyone he works with

Literally each member of seventeen would have wallet sized pictures of his future baby

You guys would have constant debates over the gender of your child

You would be set on having a little girl seeing that it was literally your dream to have one of your own

Seungcheol would be set on having a boy

He would insist you that he was 100% sure that you were having a boy

It was his father senses

Of course you would smack him every time he used that excuse and told him that you didn’t need any more boys to take care of because 13 was already enough

For this reason you two decided to wait until the actual childbirth to find out the gender

“oh my gosh seungcheol tell me you did not get your members to bet money on the gender of this child”

“okay, i didn’t get the members to bet money on our child, they did that themselves”

*tHUNKS HEAD*

The past couple of months seemed pretty smooth and eventually you finally started getting symptoms of being pregnant

All throughout the morning sicknesses and mood swings Seungcheol was always by your side and oh so sweet to you

Like you just wanted to cry and thank Jesus that you had such a loving and caring husband who was willing to put up with your pregnancy

His favorite part was when you would tell him your food cravings and he would actually get that exact creation for you and you denying eating any of that the day after

Like he would make you an ice cream sundae complete with pickles, carrots, ketchup, ramen, strawberries, and a hint of lemon juice and avocados

“no seungcheol that sounds completely gross I would never eat something like that without getting sick”

“mhm whatever you say babe”

“don’t make me thunk your head again”

This man would get so emotional throughout this pregnancy

Like when you first felt the baby kick you let out an ear piercing scream in the middle of the night out of excitement

Seungcheol would jolt up from bed and grab the nearest shoe, turning to you immediately asking what happened and who killed you

You would tell him to shut up and take his hand to place it on your stomach

Seuncheol would stop breathing the second he felt your baby kick

After that he would burst into tears of joy and begin to rub your swollen belly and talking cutely to the baby like every other fanfiction daddy does

Honestly you were like the cutest pregnant couple ever

Finally after months of being pampered from both the boys and Seungcheol it was finally time for the baby to arrive

Seungcheol was hesitant to leave you at home alone seeing that it was nearing the final days until the expected date

You assured him that you would be fine and would manage on your own as you literally had to push him out of the door

But Seungcheol’s suspensions were right seeing that later that day you actually did end up going into labor

You were casually watering your cute lil plants in your apartment when you felt something drip down your leg

You thought you spilled water from your pail, but the outside was dry

Then you thought you peed up there was no water on the floor

Then the pain struck you and you were like oKAY THis iS HAppENING

You would casually slip on a pair of shoes and waddle your way to the door all while suffering through extreme contractions

You would finally make it to your car and drive straight to Pledis where you knew your husband would be at practice

Once you got there you were greeted by Minghao who was practicing some of his b-boying in the lobby

You told him about your struggle and you were pretty sure he turn white

He quickly helped you up to their practice room and burst into the room, gaining attention from all the members

Seungcheol looked at you confused as to why you were there and you were just kind of like, “yeah my water broke and i’m gonna have a baby like now”

Seungcheol would spring into action and take you straight to the hospital and ignoring all the calls he got from his managers

Once you got to the hospital he practically screamed at the receptionist that his wife was going to have a baby and she was like

“bro you need to chill”

So they finally took you back to one of those labor rooms and got you situated for the birth

Seungcheol didn’t remember most of the process because he almost passed out the second he saw a baby’s head poking out of your lady bits

But soon enough it was over and you sat back breathless on the bed

The nurse took the baby away to get clean and that’s when you and Seungcheol began to argue once more on what gender the baby was going to be

Once the nurse arrived back with your baby she announced that the two of you had a healthy baby boy

Seungcheol jumped up from his seat and did a little in your face dance

You rolled your eyes at his antics and tried to act like you weren’t actually married to this loser

Seungcheol literally cherished his son so much

He was the most important thing in his life besides his beautiful wife of course

He would be sure to video every second of this baby’s life

His first steps

His first words

“glooblah isn’t a real word seuncheol”

“it is in baby”

“ffs why did i marry you”

He’d be that really embarrassing dad that every kid thought was cool but secretly his own son even tried to pretend that he didn’t know him

When his son asked to sign up to play soccer Seungcheol would go all smiley and be so proud that his son wanted to be social with people and his son just wanted his dad to chill because he just really liked soccer and his friends promised him that they got free pizza after every game

Turns out that your son actually ended up liking the sport more than he thought and continued to play it all throughout middle school and high school

He ended up being the captain of the soccer team in high school and Seuncheol was like :’)

Your son went to his father on advice to ask out a girl that he really liked in school and he was pretty sure that he saw a giant smiley face firework shoot off in his father’s head

“you see son i was actually a ladies man in high school”

“that’s bs because literally no one liked you”

“shut up y/n”

He actually ended up giving his son some pretty good advice because the girl his son liked ended up accepting his confession and agreed to go out with him

The two of them were literally linked together

Seungcheol found himself growing a little jealous at all the attention his son was giving his new girlfriend because he missed all the good daddy and son times they used to have playing soccer and stuff like that

Soon enough your son ended up graduating high school and Seuncheol denied crying the whole time while tears poured down his face as he said so

Your son was very nervous about choosing a college because he got so many scholarship offers for soccer

Seungcheol tried his best and gave him a inspirational talk about how no matter what he chooses that he will be doing what he loves and thats all that matters

It was literally so beautiful that even you began to have second thoughts about calling your husband a loser

Your son ended up going to this giant university in Seoul and entered into a physical education major in college so he could be a sports instructor someday

Seungcheol cried for days after your son left and begged you to make more babies for him and you were like

“ew gross grandpa”

It made you so happy with how much Seungcheol loved your son

You never expected him to be as good as a father as he was

You kind of wished that you didn’t spend so much time insulting him and spent more time cherishing the moments because time does fly by fast when your a parent

You don’t even blame Seungcheol for crying when your son left because you missed spending time with them and watching the bond with each other

But you could be prouder at the family you helped raised and of the kind of father Seuncheol actually turned out to be