#thank you for being a friend of dorothy
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onbearfeet · 8 months ago
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Queerwolf By Night: Queercoding, Media Literacy, and Werewolf By Night (part 3)
Lovely to have you back for this, the final part of our examination of WBN being queer as fuck. If you missed the earlier presentations in Media Studies and Writing Hacks With Kat, Part 1 is here and Part 2 is here.
We've gone through the Hays Code AND the AIDS crisis so far, and that's a lot, so could I interest you in a cup of coffee brewed over a campfire?
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Thanks, Ted. You're a peach.
So let's look at the final scene of WBN through a queer lens. There's a needle drop, color is restored to the world, and we see Jack waking up in the woods to drink coffee, grunt at Ted, and eventually decide that sushi should happen.
(Side note: I have a whole rant about queercoding and sushi, but I cut it, so here's a gif of Aziraphale gayly eating sushi in Good Omens, which you should watch.)
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Okay, enough queer angels. Time for more queer monsters.
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First things first: this scene is SO DOMESTIC, y'all. They're literally playing house in the woods, in that Ted has built Jack an adorable little house and brewed his morning coffee. The camp is littered with little domestic touches like the French press and the guitar. It's a homey, if slightly eclectic, vibe. (Where did Ted find a payphone?)
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There is no explanation for these objects being there, afaik; Ted and Jack both have presumably come from some distance away, involuntarily in Ted's case, so there's no reason Ted would know the location of a well-stocked camp to put an unconscious Jack down in if Jack even set one up. Presumably the camp is Ted's work, but there's never an explanation for where he got any items other than the robe and the phonograph. (I'm particularly curious about the flower mug, personally.) Yet the objects are not remarked upon, and the entire scene is played as if this is a relatively normal morning for the two of them.
In fact, most of the mechanics of the scene are effectively those of a morning-after scene, perhaps a morning after characters fall into bed for the first time. Jack wakes up groaning, crawls out of bed to see where he is, and finds his partner has laid out something like breakfast for him and is prepared to discuss the events of the night before whenever Jack is ready.
And speaking of that discussion, we once again have displays of queercoded masculinity: Jack and Ted being physically affectionate, playful banter, and emotional vulnerability when Jack asks about Elsa. You know the drill by now. The camera pans up as "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" swells and fades out.
Wait.
Rainbow?
Let's talk about music in this film.
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Michael Giacchino is primarily known as a composer of film music. WBN is his directorial debut. I guarantee you've heard his music before, because it's basically in every summer blockbuster franchise. If you can't get John Williams, Danny Elfman, or Hans Zimmer (all of whom are getting long in the tooth), you get Giacchino and he turns in a fucking SCORE.
Now, I am not a music person. Not at all. But even my musically illiterate ass knows that traditional film scoring derives a lot from classical music, especially Romantic composers like Beethoven. And that means LEITMOTIFS, baby!
(I learned about leitmotifs from Bugs Bunny and Star Wars. Do not be impressed.)
A leitmotif is a short musical phrase that can be used to signify a character, object, or theme in a larger work of music. For a very basic example of this, look up the Force theme from Star Wars and watch a supercut of all the times it was used to indicate that someone was using the Force. Or just watch this Sideways video about why the music in Rise of Skywalker was ass:
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Anyhoo. The point of leitmotifs is to give an audience a feeling without necessarily tipping them off to exactly WHY they're having that feeling. And Giacchino LOVES his leitmotifs.
So when he uses someone else's music, he's extremely aware of the emotions that can come attached to that music. It's literally what he does.
There are two pieces of music used in WBN that Giacchino didn't write: a late 1930s recording of Vera Lynn singing "Wishing Will Make It So" and Judy Garland singing "Over The Rainbow" from The Wizard of Oz. Let's start with Vera Lynn.
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Vera Lynn was an English singer most associated with big band music before and during WWII. During the war, she was known as "the Forces' sweetheart", both for her efforts to entertain the troops and for the fact that she was kind of every British fighting man's waifu. What Betty Grable's legs were to American GIs, Vera Lynn's voice was to British servicemen. She's best known for the song "We'll Meet Again", which is about exactly what it sounds like. She was a nice lady, by all accounts, and there is a ferry boat named after her now.
A Vera Lynn song about childhood and wishing is what Verussa plays in the labyrinth, apparently to annoy Elsa, who switches it off (even though that's going to inform everyone of where she is). For the purposes of queercoding, Vera Lynn is mom and apple pie, or possibly mum and fish and chips, and above all she is safe, compulsory heterosexuality. The Forces' sweetheart.
Judy Garland, on the other hand, is a queer icon.
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I can't overstate what a Big Deal Judy Garland and Dorothy Gale from The Wizard of Oz are in queer culture. The themes of the story, including acceptance of the unusual and embrace of a found family (along with the sapphic elements of some of the books), resonated so deeply with queer people that for several decades, "are you a friend of Dorothy?" was code for "are you gay?" The US Navy actually launched an investigation to find the mysterious "Dorothy" who was supposedly the ringleader of all the gay sailors.
And then there's the song itself, with its theme of longing for a faraway, more colorful place where those who don't fit in at home are loved for who they are. It's, uh, pretty resonant with the queer experience.
So I now draw your attention to the phonograph. Gramophone. Record player. Whatever it's called.
In WBN, we first see the player set up in the labyrinth, presumably by Verussa or at her orders. It's playing a Vera Lynn song about childhood and wishing, which apparently annoys Elsa so much that she switches it off, thus alerting Jack to her location.
The next appearance of the player is in the camp, where it's now playing "Over the Rainbow" beside Jack as he wakes up. Ted has presumably stolen it; there's no other candidate for that, and we already saw him swipe a murder robe for Jack, so why not a record player too?
In other words, Verussa Enthusiastic Heterosexuality Bloodstone sets up the Compulsory Heterosexuality Machine, after which Elsa Ally-Coded Bloodstone turns it off in disgust, and Ted swipes it and turns it gay for Jack's benefit.
That's the coding. That's BARELY subtext. I really don't know what else to tell you. This essay started with my making an offhand joke to bluemoonperegrine about Ted and Jack being "literally friends of Dorothy" and then realizing nobody else in the conversation had noticed this stuff.
So what do we do about all this? Is WBN queer? Does all the Wolfstone stuff pale in comparison to the glory of Russallis? Am I trying to start a ship war in a fandom so small it probably wouldn't fill up Vera Lynn's namesake ferry boat?
Jack, you can answer this for me.
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Nope. Not trying to start anything. I happily read Wolfstone, and technically have written some. I love all three WBN leads and am happy to enjoy them in any configuration (although my personal preference is group napping in a puppy pile, because these characters deserve naps).
I just figured it was worth documenting all this so people who haven't had the benefit of my very strange education would be better equipped to recognize (and ideally enjoy) old-style queercoding when they see it.
Wait a minute. You promised writing hacks. It's in the series title and everything.
Shit, you caught me.
Obviously, queercoding isn't a universal tool. There are plenty of storytelling contexts in which it's much better to make characters explicitly queer. Representation matters, and all that.
But sometimes you won't have time for explicit confirmation (like when your story takes place overnight and nobody really has time to play tonsil hockey). Sometimes you won't be able to include it due to outside constraints (like Disney being Disney).
And sometimes, you'll remember that there are plenty of people who can't or won't pick up explicitly queer media. Homophobic parents who won't let their kids watch Love, Simon ... but who WILL let them read your YA novel about unicorns or whatever where there are two female unicorns who are, uh, life partners. Grumpy uncles who refuse to acknowledge their nephew's boyfriend until they notice that, hey, they kinda act like Finn and Poe from that Star War. And so on. Sometimes, coded rep is the best rep you can get ... and so it's useful to have. A good toolbox has ALL the tools.
So if you're building characters for your story and don't or can't have specific queer goals, throw in a little coding. Put a rainbow T-shirt on a kid. Let two boys hold hands or have literally any feelings. Let a girl say a girl is pretty. Look up some of the older symbols for queer love and have someone growing lavender in their garden, or use newer queer symbols and have a character crack an egg in a key scene. Have a character who's content without a romantic or sexual relationship, and has an arc about something else, because aces and aros exist too.
There's a whole universe of coding out there. Go add some layers to your work.
Or better yet--see if they're there already. You might surprise yourself.
Sometimes the monster has a familiar face.
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puricodraws · 1 year ago
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The template for the ideal D&D party! Who's up to play a game of "Caverns & Cheesecakes"?
Available as a print on my Etsy Shop!
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livethrushit · 10 days ago
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golden girls, the gift that keeps on giving
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babyb3lls · 3 months ago
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𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍 ♥︎
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theleadpipe · 1 year ago
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When you come over to my place you get good food in good dishes
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lemedstudent2021 · 8 months ago
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in the words of the great dorothy zbornak;
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April 28, 2024 - An unintentionally funny video by a zionist propagandist shows off some good organisation and discipline at the UCLA encampment for Palestine.
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katiascraft · 10 days ago
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✐ᝰ "You knew all too well i was right where you left me" | CL16 ࣪𓏲ּ ᥫ᭡ ₊
parings: retired!charles leclerc x writer!ex!reader
series summary: It’s the story of a woman frozen in the moment her world fell apart. A perfect dinner ended with, “I met someone else,” and while everyone moved on, she remained stuck in that instant, unable to let go of the past. A poignant tale of heartbreak, grief, and the weight of being trapped in a “forever” that never was.
🔎 chapter one: “love is short but forgetting is so long”
🔎 chapter two: “did the love affair mail you too?”
🔎 chapter three: “you kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath”
chapter four: “help, I’m still at the restaurant” -> chapter five
‼️ best friends in this chapter: nikola (nik) , dorothy (dottie) and beatrice (betty). They all know each other from Oxford University where the four of them studied creative writing.
word count: +5,1k.
BLOG MASTERLIST - series masterlist
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⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
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agostinabff: hope you have a lovely week off mon amour!! You deserve it. We love you 💘
↳ yourusername: thank u for being the best part of my life 💌
y/nstan: omg GIRL we are the same person wtf 😭
user4: who is he and where can i find him to KILL HIM?????
nikolabff: is my air bnb recommendation good enough ????? (That looks disgusting, uber eats exists darling)
nikolabff: can't wait for tomorrow!! London should be scared of us 😈
nikolabff: did dorothy call you? She isn't answering my calls
↳ yourusername: babes!!!! Aaaaaa i'm so excited. I just ended call with dottie. She arrived safe and well, i missed you guys so much 😭 did betty text you?
↳ nikolabff: tbh she didn't but you know how she is. can't wait to see you all tomorrow!!
arthurleclerc: hey y/n i know this may be weird but just wanted to say, i read your book and it is amazing! my brother was an idiot you know? you are an amazimg person im sure you'll find someone who loves you deeply (if you didn't already. maybe you did) okay, i don't bother you any longer. hope we can meet again someday!
⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
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⋆˚࿔ a week ago 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
“There'll be happiness after you, but there was happiness because of you. Both of these things can be true. There is happiness, past the blood and bruise, past the curses and cries. Beyond the terror in the nightfall haunted by the look in my eyes that would've loved you for a lifetime and leave it all behind. Tell me, when did your winning smile begin to look like a smirk? When did all our lessons start to look like weapons pointed at my deepest hurt? I hope she'll be a beautiful fool who takes my spot next to you. No, I didn't mean that. Sorry, I can't see facts through all of my fury. You haven't met the new me yet” you read that piece out loud from your personal journal to your therapist. She stayed silent for a while. You looked over at her knowing you skipped some parts but what you read in the end sank in.
“I think there’s a lot to discuss from just that single piece you wrote. But I wanna ask you something before anything else: do you really believe there will be happiness after him?” your therapist made you a question that felt like daggers pinching you that resulted in leaving you breathless for a few seconds. you loved and hated therapy for this reason. There were things you couldn’t question by yourself  because you never thought about it and things you didn’t know how to answer like this one.  
“I wish I could say yes. But i don't think i’ve been happy since he left” saying that out loud hurt yourself even more. It was not something easy to admit and accept.  But it was the truth. You have never felt really happy since then. 
She nodded, writing down in her notebook “but do you believe you can be happy without him? Why is he still so important or has so much space in your life that you can't be happy if he isn’t there? Why were you happy when he was with you?” as always, too many questions with so few answers. You felt exhausted, frustrated by the fact you didn't know what to think about it all. 
“I'm sure I want to be happy, I can't live like this anymore. I'm tired” you assured her and  yourself. You took a few seconds to think and she respected that. “I guess if I want to then I can, right? I mean, I talk to my friends and all of them tell me time and time again ‘don't let what happened define you’ and I try but I don't know why it is really hard for me” you explained looking at the floor. 
“And what’s that definition of yourself?”
“That i'm not worthy of love i guess. that there will always be someone better than me, more attractive, more lovable, more interesting. I can't be the one, for anyone” admitting it felt like an elephant stepped on you and you just died in the act. Your therapist, Maria, nodded looking at you. 
“Well, but in what you wrote you tell this woman he left you for, that you hope she is a fool like you, right?” she intervened. You nodded. “What can you tell me about it?”
You looked at your hands a bit sweaty. “I really don’t know. I mean her existence made me compare myself to her. She is so different. It made me feel all of those things I said before. And maybe i blamed her existence because if she didn't existed then, charles would still be here” 
“You think so?” 
“I guess, yeah” you looked at her. She wrote down more stuff on that notebook you were so intrigued by. 
“So, for you, there doesn't exist the possibility that maybe he just stopped loving you? Like even if she existed or not - could be any other woman or could be no one at all. Would it hurt more if he just stopped loving you?” you felt your brain make a 180 turn on itself. 
“I don’t know. Maybe, yeah, I mean. I Think it’s easier to blame someone then not have an explanation for it” your therapist nodded. 
“So,  why would she occupy your same place then? If you are different from each other, why would she be just like you? As a replacement it seems and at the same time who’s at fault for all of this situation and insecurities. And before you answer, I think we can connect that to what happened between your dad and mom, right?” she saw your face so confused she knew this was gonna be the end of the session so you could think about it during the next two weeks. “You told me you discovered your dad cheated on your mom. So all you ever dreamed was to find someone who would be better than him, to prove yourself that that isn’t your destiny, just like your mom. And then Charles left you for this other girl. And everything you built up in your mind to try to believe in love and to escape from the reality you had to live through, then it crumbled down in that instant. Leaving you feeling like there was no way you could be worthy of love, because you tried but Charles did exactly what your dad did to your mother. And since then you couldn’t date anyone else. This is a theory, I'm not saying it is what it is of course. But it seems that if they didn't exist then you wouldn’t be this hurt and maybe forgive charles,as you said when you wrote ‘and leave it all behind’ just like your mom did with your dad”
Her words echoed in your head for a while. The knot in your throat intensified. “Charles was my everything just like my parents were. And after what happened, with Charles and my dad, I guess I let that define me. I wanted to show myself that the love i’ve seen in books and movies existed, not like in my house. I wanted to make things right. In a way, to mend what hurt me the most. The betrayal of my dad. So I put Charles under that pressure and maybe that made things the way they went down. I don’t know to be honest. I don’t know why I want alexandra to be like me. Maybe that’s another way of convincing myself I'm not the only fool in this mess.”
“I don’t think you are a fool. Relationships are complicated and the reason he decided to leave could be based on a million reasons, and even in that situation. Maybe any of them are because of you or who you are as a person. People are complex and most times messy. Feelings aren’t easy to control or understand” she explained to you. “So, coming back to this new encounter you had with him, how did you feel about it?” 
“It felt weird, very uncomfortable to be around him. But at the same time a force drove me closer to him. I wanted to be closer. Ask him everything and at the same time punch him. He felt the same to be honest. Just like the previous day he left, when everything was alright.” you pulled a face you didn't know how to describe at that moment.  
“And you felt the same?”
“No i think, i didn’t” she nodded and half smiled at my answer. 
“Then, what’s the new you he didn’t meet?” 
“Who i am now i guess”
“And who are you?” her question made you realize you didn’t know how to answer that question yet. You knew you were different, because you felt different although stuck dealing with the aftermath of that relationship. She noticed your silence (because she knew all too well you didn’t know how to answer it) and smiled gently.
“Alright, y/N. Let’s leave it here and continue next session, okay? See you in two weeks”
Who the fuck were you now? 
⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
Mornings at your balcony were your favorite moment during the day. Your coffee was warm and comforting on a grey and windy day. You were covered in clothes and blankets. You needed that moment anyway. You wouldn’t let the winter win. You watched your neighbor cleaning his living room. He had his window opened so you could see a bit of what he was doing. However, you didn't see him very well because you didn't have your glasses on so it’s a bit blurry. You thought there was someone else with him. Probably a girl.but you weren’t that interested.the only thing you hated about your balcony was the fact that the view was partially blocked by that damn house up the hill. 
After a while, you took your stuff and went into your house again. You felt warmer instantly. You left the blankets on the coach and washed up what you used to have for breakfast a few minutes ago. You had to pack as soon as possible. On saturday, you travel to london to see your college friends and also because your friend franco, another formula one driver you met by chance at a college party, it was his birthday party. You wanted that week to be a good one. Be a week you genuinely enjoy and just be happy.
But after everything that happened the last month around Charles, it was really difficult. Your therapist was a really good help of course. But you hated not knowing how to handle all of these feelings you didn’t understand and that paralyze you. 
You only had one phrase in your head: ‘no one teaches you what to do when a good man hurts you’.
You couldn’t think of Charles as a bad man, or person or anything. Yes, he was stupid. And he destroyed your self esteem. And your trust. And yes, you still were kind of stuck in that restaurant. But you also had some kind of responsibility. And that also troubled you a lot. 
Your self esteem shouldn’t be defined by anyone else but you. What do you think about yourself? Who are you? That was your fault. You didn’t know how that would affect destiny for him to leave you but well, it is what it is yet. You kind of thought that maybe it’s the price you had to pay for putting him in a role he didn't want to be in. maybe you were too much. Too intense. Too dependent. He only wanted someone to talk and have fun with. But you wanted a good husband at 18, and a good father, and the one who would take away your pain and fix your traumas. 
Maybe he wasn’t the only one who hurt someone, but you also hurt him in some way.
Ten years in, and you still couldn’t explain what happened. What did you do or not do for him to stop loving you? Or perhaps you can actually stop loving someone but you didn't experience it yet. 
You sighed, reaching your travelling suitcase from on top of your closet. You almost fell so you had to grab a chair from your kitchen. You loved travelling but packing was a nightmare (also, because you couldn’t decide which outfits were good so you had to take two suitcases and pay extra everytime. Not that you didn't have the money and it was a problem. But you knew it was an unnecessary spend). 
That’s when you remembered how it was like to travel with charles. And you hated yourself for remembering his stupid laugh so cute it made your heart melt every time. Would he still laugh like that? Maybe it was best not to know it. 
If you were younger and he came back, you’d probably forgive him and leave it all behind just to be happy with him. But now, you wanted to leave everything behind: him, his family, the memories, the feelings, the hurt. And maybe that is what changed.
That was the new you.
⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
Your laugh was so liberating. Your hair was free in the wind. He was driving through the Monaco coast. It was finally summer break and you decided to have a picnic at the beach. His hand on your tight. David Guetta on the radio. You were singing along without a care in the world. 
Your fingers brushed his hand making him look at you through his sun glasses in a beautiful cute smile. 
“You look gorgeous, cherie” you saw his lips pronounce those words in slow motion, feeling your every fiber get wild inside you. Your smile was so big and your cheeks pink. He could melt forever just to see you this happy. You wanted to freeze those moments with him and live in them forever.
“I love you, Charles,” you said so warmly and softly. It was your romance movie playing over and over again. That’s how you felt. But when he heard you say those words, his face turned serious. Almost pulled a face of disgust. For some reason you got so scared you wanted to jump out of the car to save your life. 
You wanted to save your life. 
He noticed you wanted to escape so he tightened his grip on you tightly, hurting you but he wasn’t letting you go away. 
“Charles, let go of me” you said almost in a whisper. Your breath was fast. You needed to jump. You started fighting so he would let you go.
“Stop, cherie. We’re gonna have our happily ever after, isn’t that what you wanted?” he said, trying to drive and grab you at the same time. You started crying not knowing what to answer. The anxiety took over you.
“You said you loved me cherie, you can’t go now” he was crying and let go of the steering wheel. You got desperate seeing the car had no control and you were at the Monaco cliffs.
“Charles! CHARLES!” you screamed from the top of your lungs as you watched both of you exiting the driveway into nowhere. All the sea around you. Slow motion Charles looked at you with a huge smile. 
“Happily ever after baby” he said and you looked horrorized. But when you were about to scream again as if that would change anything.
Everything went black. 
You woke up drowning in cold sweat and tears. Your heart was beating too fast for your liking. The feeling you had in that moment of pure confusion was scared to death. For a moment you didn’t know if you were alive or dead. Your room was pitch black so it kinda felt like you died. But you were thinking and you thought there was no way you could think when dead, so you were alive. 
After a few seconds of paralysis, you react and turn on your light from your bed table. You took a deep breath and scrubbed your face to wake yourself up. Your face was wet still from your tears. The moment you were conscious again you felt defeated. It was the third time in the night you were having this kind of nightmares, now three days in a row. You laid back again in bed for a moment.frustration was all over your face. You were so tired of living like this. Yet, you didn’t know how to stop. You grabbed your phone to see what time it was. It showed 5:46 am. You snarled, hating your brain more than anything in the world. 
You got up from bed and went straight to the bathroom to wash your face. You knew all too well you couldn’t be able to fall asleep again nor you wanted to. It has been a terrible night already. So you let your brain win once again. 
You went downstairs to your studio where it was warm. Sun isn't out yet, so here you’ll be warmer. If not, you probably would have chosen the balcony as always. Or the restaurant, although you haven't come back to it since the last encounter with charles. You just didn’t want to go back there ever again. Just like the time he left. 
You sat on your chair at your desk. Eyes tired. You opened your journal. You didn’t remember writing so much like in the past week or so. But you had so many thoughts to write sometimes it got difficult for you to function properly. You just had to stay at home writing non-stop. Not only your upcoming book but your feelings. After the dream you had, a lot must be processed. 
I know I'm probably better off on my own than loving a man who didn't know what he had. And I see the permanent damage he did to me. 
Never again. 
I just wish I could forget when it was magic. 
But I also just wish you could’ve been a better man.  
You sighed reading your words again on paper. You felt worried about yourself. Like, maybe you were broken and couldn’t ever be fixed. You were scared that you wouldn’t be able to fix yourself back up again. Or even thinking that maybe you were born broken so how could you fix yourself then? You were scared there was no way out of this pain, agony, self hatred, nightmare you have lived these past years… or your whole life. You dreamed about being in love again with someone so different from charles yet maybe who makes you feel the same high. Or maybe higher erasing every trace of him or memory of your dad. Now lines were blurry. You didn’t want to think about your dad, not only because he was gone and you couldn’t do anything about it, but because it felt weird linking him in some way to charles, but if your therapist said so, maybe you were more troubled than you thought. 
Would there be a good guy? Do they even exist? You guessed you’ve never met one of them yet. 
I hold onto this pride because, these days, it's all I have. And I gave you my best, and we both know you can't say the same. 
Were you writing about him? Or about your dad?
You stared at the wall thinking about the answer that never came around. 
Just like the both of them did when it came to you. 
⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
It was 10 am in the morning already. You didn’t sleep a bit. You’ve been in a zoom meeting since 8. Talks about the movie in the making were held. Casting started so they sent you a few ones they think are perfect for the roles so you have to watch them after the meeting. Also, they go through the aesthetic and changes they will make from the book, and that’s why this meeting has been so long. They needed to discuss everything with you to make sure you agreed. They wanted to be respectful with your work and you appreciate it very much. It made you feel important. In other news, they thought that taylor swift could make the soundtrack for the movie and you got very excited about it. You loved Taylor's songwriting and believed (and were almost sure) she would make the perfect song for the movie. 
It was gonna be a long day ahead, full of work and watching hours of footage from castings. But it was for your dream. You still couldn’t believe you had your book be a movie in the making. It still feels surreal. 
Then you remembered charles’ ex followed you and liked your posts. And you were mad at him again. You were sure (no doubts at all for real), she didn't know who you were. Because he kept you buried like you were sin. 
A part of you wanted to believe he did it because he knew he fucked up and didn’t want people to judge him for his lack of sympathy towards his last lover. But at the same time you just found it cruel behavior with no reason at all to do that. You kinda felt dirty as if you were bad. Very bad. Banned from his life. 
You shook your head, getting yourself back to the present time and starting working again. Your lack of rest doesn't help in getting distracted with thought every minute but you were doing the best you could. Plus, work helps you not to think about anything else. And that’s good. 
You really needed a break from thinking. 
⋆˚࿔ finally the london trip arrived 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
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yourusername: first few days back in london = first few days of happiness ❤️‍🩹
tagged: @nikolabff , @beatricebff , @dorothybff and @francolapinto
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user345: girl is happy we are happy
user3: omg such QUEENS
↳ francolapinto: i guess ur not talking about me
↳ user3: oh im so talking about you too
↳ francolapinto: 🤨
nikolebff: the girls girled
dorothybff: happy looks very hot on you darling 🫦
beatricebff: can you kiss already??????
↳ yourusername: no ❤️
nikolabff: gossip so good bro was giggling and kicking his feet
↳ francolapinto: it was indeed
↳ alexalbon: better bring that gossip to the paddok asap
↳ yourusername: it's CONFIDENTIAL
↳ alexalbon: booooooo ur so boring
↳ oscarpiastri: i wanna be part of this group please
↳ nikolabff: yes you can sir
↳ francolapinto: i thought no one else was allowed
↳ nikolabff: stfu 🩷
User231: i love this crossover of y/n and formula 1 drivers. I would've never expected it tbh
↳ franstan: same!!! I love it!! Didn't know she was friends with franco
↳ user354: i think they met a few years ago, y/n was asked about it on insta questions and she said they met randomly at a college party
↳ franstan: interesting
User1: girl!!! You look so good omg
francolapinto: te amo amiga so happy to see you happy ❤️‍🩹
↳ yourusername: te amo tambien ❤️‍🩹
↳ user778: EXCUSE YOU ???????
↳ franstan7: OMG OMG OMG
user4: WHAT IS HAPPENING ?
user324: so no one is gonna talk about lando world champion fucking norris being on the likes ????? 🤨🤨🤨🤨
↳ landostan: that was what i was thinking
⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
⋆˚࿔ finally the london trip arrived 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
Laughter was all over the place as well as a lot of bottles of alcohol with names you haven’t seen in your life. It was finally Saturday night, which meant it was Franco's birthday celebration. And because it was his birthday of course all the decorations were argentina flags everywhere and boca junior club t-shirts for everyone, including you. As you got to his house you were given one at the door to wear it. Fortunately, for you it didn’t ruin your outfit and I could say it looked great on you. Or well, that’s what franco said to you while preparing you a drink you haven’t ever tried before. He said it was called fernet with coke. You were already a bit drunk because you were drinking vodka with the girls while getting ready. You didn’t like vodka that much but after everything that happened in your life, you kinda felt the urge to drown in vodka or tequila. Mi gente latino music was playing non-stop. You knew Franco loved duki and bizarrap, and they were actually at the party. You couldn’t talk to them yet. So everything was a bit crazy even if you weren’t that many people. He was just a close friend to franco. So i guess it was like 60 people. Way too many people to be honest but for a famous 2 times world champion it was really a small amount of people so it was super intimate. 
“There you go, hermosa” he said, handing you the glass full of black liquid. You looked at it a bit worried in a funny way and grabbed it. He let out a cute laugh. “Try it, you’re gonna like it, i promise” he encouraged you. He couldn’t resist the view of you with that boca juniors on. Probably, the combination of you and that was his heaven made on earth. He was really down for you, since it felt like forever. Probably since that night at that party back 6 years ago or so. You always have a different light that anyone can match. and that’s what he liked most about you along with your authenticity. You were so unique to him. He looked at you biting his lip a little trying not to be so obvious. 
You tried the drink looking into his eyes. You were really close  but you felt really comfortable. Your friends have left you alone with him the minute he came forward to  you, of course. They really believed you could work out with him. And after vodka and long talks about it with them, maybe you would give it a try. But it scared you, you didn’t want to use him as a friend. So it was a risky situation in your opinion. Although, you could see he liked you for a long time now. And you found him funny and really attractive in your opinion. You give it a few more sips to taste it fully. “Oh I think I like it,” you said, giving him a funny smile. 
“I told you. I’m the best fernet preparer in this whole country… and also, I did it with love just for you” he said, making you laugh and blush after the last sentence he said. 
“I’m sure it’s the love you put in it” you gave it another sip looking at him. His face turned red and let out such a cute giggle. Alcohol was making you melt for your best friend? We guess so.
He got closer grabbing your waist and planted a sweet kiss on your cheek making you nervous as you never felt for a long time. However, it felt weird. Maybe as if this shouldn’t be happening. 
⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
Franco’s house was enormous. The party was being held at the gallery near his garden. It was cold but the lights and the people stuck to each other made it warmer. You were with your girls again dancing to bad bunny and los del espacio songs. You didn’t understand a word because Spanish was definitely not your talent. You tried to learn because of Franco, and he tried to teach you, but failed every time. You did learn a few words anyway but speaking fluidly was something you won’t ever do. Or that’s what you thought about it. It was your third fernet. You didn’t know it was so good. Also it could make you so drunk. And you were way too drunk by now but you never felt so happy. You were laughing about anything and everything. Dancing without a care in the world. Enjoying being surrounded by your friends. Charles wasn’t on your mind nor any trace of him or his family or the history behind you two. Memories have faded away, washed by the alcohol in your veins. You didn’t remember having so much fun since forever. Your girls were right. Life was so much more than Charles, you were so much more than what you were with him. And all of this you have it because of you and you alone. In that moment you felt liberated. Free from the curse it was put on you. Free of judgment. Free of insecurities. Until you saw that damn mullet and when it turned around you felt kind of speechless. Your eyes locked in that man you didn’t know but he was so hypnotic. You couldn’t stop looking at him. 
“Girl! Close your mouth, you're drooling! Is it for franco, huh?” Nikola joked when she saw you like that, making you laugh while shaking your head. 
“No it isn’t girls, is that guy over there i don’t  know who he is but he is so beautiful” you said pointing your finger in his direction unconsciously. Because when you looked at him again he was looking at you straight in the eyes. You almost freaked out and ran away from there. His fucking smile. What the hell is happening to you? Your friends looked over at him as well with no simulation at all. The four of you were pretty obvious. And that’s when another guy turned around to see where his mate was looking over with that face. Nikola almost fell to the floor.
She turned around freaked out, making all of you stop looking at them so weird. Alcohol makes you behave so embarrassing for your liking. 
“Holy shit girls, it’s oscar fucking piastri and lando norris” her eyes were leaving her face for a bit. You grabbed her arms still confused. You didn’t know them but you heard nik talking about that oscar a few times. Betty and Dottie looked over at them again but they were gone. 
“Okay they are gone nik” dottie said. Betty took a sip from her drink. You wanted to say something but you felt someone grab your waist from behind and kiss your head.
“Hello ladies” of course it had to be franco. You smiled nervously looking at your friends. One of your hands placed over Franco's arms not wanting him to let go. You liked it. Or that’s what you drowned in alcohol though about it. 
“Hello mister, i guess we will grab more drinks at the bar, goodbye bye byeee” Betty said, taking her two girls with her leaving you alone with franco. You laughed and resigned. Nik gave franco a warning sign ‘im watching you’ making franco laugh too. And they disappeared through the people dancing and talking. 
He kissed your cheek letting you go a bit so you could turn around to face him. “Hey handsome, where have you been? Are you having fun?” you said surrounding his neck with your arms and he did the same around your waist. He nodded in a smile. 
“Now that I'm back with you, I'm really having fun,” he said cheeky.
“Oh shut up” you said rolling your eyes funny because of his flirty side. 
“Hey, I'm telling the truth. I was with my school friends though ,they came from home” he told you and made you smile while stroking the curls on his head gently. Your fingers in his hair sent shivers down his spine. He couldn’t stop looking at your lips and you noticed. But you liked it so you let him. 
“I’m happy you’re enjoying your night fran. You deserve all of this love, world champion” you said sweetly looking at his eyes so shiny and deep green right now. Your words made him melt. 
And there were you, the girl who can win over the man known for being the most professional at flirting. You always win with him. He is so down bad for you he felt stupid. You were so beautiful in his eyes. So amazing. He hated Charles so much. He even celebrated when he retired. They couldn't even pretend to like each other and actually it was one of the most famous feuds between drivers in the history of the sport. Franco just couldn’t comment anything positive about charles. Even if he tried he just couldn’t. The most infamous moment was when Charles won his first championship and he was asked about it. He said he didn’t want to comment about it because he had nothing to comment about. So franco started to be known as the guy who was nice to everyone except for charles leclerc. And it was hilarious to see because no one knew why. And the why was always you. 
Franco wanted to have you and couldn’t. Charles had left you alone and destroyed another woman. How could he? Franco took that as an insult. You were an amazing woman. The most amazing woman he has ever met and that asshole did that to you. He just couldn’t stand him. Breathing the same air as Charles was unbearable for him. 
All of these thoughts rambling around and neither of you didn’t realize you were kissing already. Your lips melting into each other in the sweetest and softest kiss you have ever had. Even better than any kiss Charles could have given you before. You hated yourself for comparing every guy in your life with Charles, but you couldn’t help it. But this felt different. It was sweet but at the same time it felt so wrong. 
But you couldn’t stop. 
And you didn’t want to.
⋆˚࿔ TO BE CONTINUED 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
chapter fiver: here.
author's note: things are getting complicated around here!!!
tag list: : @a-beaverhausen , @priniya , @annaluna12 , @thehoplessromanticclub , @emryb , @hadids-world , @kaztheemyth , @freyathehuntress , @diorbrxtz , @theseerbetweenus , @sie17136 , @leila-030304 , @charlesgirl16 , @ricciardosheart , @weekendlusting
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luminoustarlight · 1 year ago
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As Fate Would Have It | Chapter Two
It's your first day of work at Skywalker Enterprises.
◂ chapter one ▸ chapter three
rating: mature | pairing: dilf!anakin skywalker x afab!reader | wc: 3.7k | read on ao3
warnings: swearing, age-gaps, sexual fantasies
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The moms at St. Lucas Preparatory School are shameless. Single, divorced, and married women (and some men) alike can’t help but hold their breath when Anakin Skywalker steps onto campus. The dads are intimidated by him and the moms… well, let’s just say the moms have less than school appropriate thoughts about the billionaire. 
Anakin detests the end of the year. He hates being involved at the school. He doesn’t want to spend 2 hours of his day off packing meals in a crowded gymnasium with other parents who also don’t want to be there. 
He doesn’t want to make small talk or ask about Luke and Leia’s classmates because frankly, he doesn’t give a crap. The only children he likes are his own and he won’t pretend otherwise. 
“Mr. Skywalker,” Leia’s teacher, Ms. Clark sighs, “you are the only parent in my class who has yet to sign up for a slot at this year's Cranberry Sauce.” Cranberry Sauce is just the name the school gives the Thanksgiving Drive to make it sound more “fun”. 
Anakin gives his children a kiss on their foreheads and sends them through the school gates. Once they’re out of earshot, he addresses Leia’s teacher. “I already wrote a check to buy the damn food. Isn’t that sufficient?” 
“Mr. Skywalker,” Ms. Clark repeats with annoyance. If it were up to her, she’d let Anakin donate all of the money he wants in order to keep him from volunteering at school events. She thinks he’s arrogant, stuck-up, and far too handsome for any man to be. So she decides to loathe him since she can’t fuck him. But Headmaster Franklin is adamant Anakin attends the event. 
“I really insist that you participate for at least an hour at Cranberry Sauce next weekend. It is important for your children to see you involved at the school. At their school.” 
Anakin’s tall and broad stature seems to grow even larger at this statement. How dare this woman insinuate anything about him as a father? 
“You think I’m not involved in my childrens’ lives?” Anakin has just enough self-control not to completely raise his voice at his daughter’s fourth grade teacher. Especially since parents are continuing to drop off their kids. “You think I’m an absent father who gives the school money to compensate for my lack of paternal instincts?” 
“I didn’t say that,” Ms. Clark answers cautiously. “There is no need to make a scene. I have no doubts you are an excellent father, Mr. Skywalker. I don’t think Leia would be the young lady she is if you weren’t. One hour. That's all we ask.” 
Anakin raises an eyebrow. “We?” 
“Oh, um, well-” Ms. Clark stammers. Busted. She sighs with defeat. “Headmaster Franklin would very much like to see you there.”
“I’m sure he would,” Anakin replies smugly. Headmaster Franklin wants him there for publicity. Anakin should be more pissed about that than being accused of not being a present parent, but he’s not. He likes his ego stroked every now and then. “One hour.” 
“Thank you,” Ms. Clark smiles tightly. “Does 10-11 work for you?” 
“Fine,” Anakin waves his hand dismissively as he gets a message on his phone. 
Ben Kenobi 
Your new secretary is here. 
Shit. It’s Anakin’s first day without Dorothy. No wonder the morning has gone the way it has. Between Luke spilling orange juice on his shirt, Leia’s uncooperating French braids, and his conversation with Ms. Clark, Anakin can’t help but fear the change in routine with a new assistant. He types his response. 
Anakin Skywalker
Assistant. Not secretary. I’ll be there in 20 minutes. 
Ben Kenobi 
If you say so. 
Ben Kenobi is Anakin’s closest friend. Some might even call them brothers. Ben is fifteen years older than Anakin, married to the mayor, and enjoys fly fishing on the weekends. He’s also Luke and Leia’s godfather. Should anything happen to Anakin, there is no one else he’d trust to raise and watch over his children than Ben Kenobi. 
And Ben knows better than anyone that Anakin doesn’t like change. He’s been dreading Dorothy’s last day since she told him she was retiring a year ago. How was he going to find someone as good as her? Someone who anticipates his needs before he does? 
That’s why he tasked her with finding her own replacement. He’s just too busy to interview a replacement for Dorothy himself. He wouldn’t know what to look for, anyway. If he doesn’t know what he wants in a woman to date, how is he supposed to know what he wants in a new assistant? 
.
.
“Mr. Skywalker is not in at the moment. Can I take a message?” You’ve uttered that exact sentence at least seven times since you arrived at the office at 8:00 a.m. Now, as it nears 9:00, you expect to see your new boss very soon. 
Each time you hear the elevator ding, you look up with hopefulness at the arrival of the esteemed Anakin Skywalker. What will you say to him? How will you introduce yourself? Will he be nice and welcoming? God, you hope so. You’ve read just about every article, watched every interview, and listened to every podcast he’s done to prepare yourself for the job. The consensus is the same in all of them. 
Anakin Skywalker is generous, he’s polite, and generally gets along with everyone— if you don’t get on his nerves. And, according to Dorothy, he’s a charmer. 
“Yes, absolutely,” you say while taking notes of the message on a legal pad. Your head is down so you don’t notice Anakin walking out of the elevator. He stops 5 steps away from your desk. His ribs feel like they’re collapsing around his lungs because of that voice. Why does he know that voice? 
“I will let Mr. Skywalker know you called as soon as he gets into the office.” You hang up the phone and as you look up, there he is in all of his gorgeous glory. 
You actually have to tell yourself to take a breath because he’s even more handsome in person. Faint lines around his eyes represent years of life he lived before you were born. His dark blonde hair is combed back effortlessly and is it wrong that you want to run your hands through it? Yeah, probably. He’s your boss and over twenty years older than you. 
“It’s-” Anakin can’t even say more than that because holy fuck. Is he dreaming? He squeezes his eyes and then opens them, only to see you now standing with your hand extended to him. “It’s… you.” 
“Um, yes,” you say while awkwardly returning your arm to your side. “I’m Y/N. Your new assistant. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Skywalker.” 
“I- um, yes,” Anakin clears his throat. Christ, that wasn’t even a sentence. “I need to take care of something,” he says on his way towards his office. “I am not to be disturbed until I come out. Do you understand?” 
“Y-yes. Yes, sir,” you barely answer before Anakin’s office door is shut violently. Well, that certainly wasn’t the introduction you were expecting or hoping for. You’re starting to think not meeting him beforehand was a bad idea. It honestly should’ve been a red flag but Dorothy insisted it was fine. 
It doesn’t seem fine. 
And things definitely aren’t fine. For Anakin, that is. To say he’s freaking out is putting it lightly. He paces the length of his office, shoving his fingers through his hair and muttering to himself. “It can’t be. There’s no way it can be her.” 
Maybe he’s hallucinating. Maybe he’s having an incredibly vivid dream where his favorite OnlyFans performer, who he has known as HoneySuckle for the last three years is his new assistant. What did you say your name is? Anakin couldn’t hear you over the erection that was forming in his pants because he knows your voice. He’s cum from your voice alone. He’s cum because of you so, so many times. 
This can’t be happening. 
He’s never seen your entire face but he knows it’s you. He’d recognize your lips in a police lineup. He hears your voice in his wet dreams. He just knows it’s you. 
And the fact that he has a hard-on is a problem. A problem he wishes you could take care of but you can’t because now you work for him and he’s your boss. This is all so, so wrong. 
Anakin doesn’t so much sit on his leather chair as he does collapse into it. This was never supposed to happen. Yes, he has dreamed about meeting you on more than one occasion. He’s thought about telling you who he is during your countless direct messages so many times. He’s thought about using his infinite resources to find out who you really are on more than one occasion.
But he always concluded that it would be so insanely wrong and borderline creepy if he did that. You were always supposed to remain a fantasy. Just a nameless woman on a screen who doesn’t live in the same country, state, or city as him. 
Yet here you are— sitting outside of his office, taking his calls, calling him Mr. Skywalker and being even more beautiful than he could have imagined. 
You are no longer the woman on his tablet spewing filthy words as you make yourself orgasm. You’re tangible. You have a name- although he can’t remember what it is. He replays the interaction over in his head. The feeling he felt when he saw you was reminiscent of seeing his wife walk down the aisle at their wedding. He was a blundering mess then, just as he is a blundering mess now. 
He doesn’t even want to think about your first impression of him. He’s supposed to be Anakin Skywalker for crying out loud! The suave, handsome millionaire who has the ability to make men cower and women fall to their knees. The embarrassment he feels from that interaction is enough to subdue his hard-on. He pours himself a bit of Bourbon, shoots it back like it’s a normal thing to do at 9 in the morning, and prepares to reintroduce himself to you. 
Anakin smooths his hands down his slacks before opening his door. As his eyes are magnetized to you, his heart starts beating irregularly. Get a fucking grip. 
You stand attentively when you notice Anakin walking towards you. Worried you made a terrible impression on him, you wait to speak. But Anakin doesn’t say anything either and now he’s standing in front of your desk, all tall and lean and smelling like Cedar and Whiskey. He’s looking at you with an expression you can’t read. Did Dorothy tell him anything about you? Or did he go into this just as blind as you did? 
His eyes seem to dance all over your body which makes you feel like he’s studying you. Or criticizing every single thing about your appearance. From your simple burgundy dress to the pearl studs you bought with some of Skyguy81’s most recent (and overly generous) tip. 
Finally, because his gaze on you was becoming too much to bear, you are the one to talk first. “Is there something I can do for you, Mr. Skywalker?” 
Yeah, you can remind him of your name for starters. “Do you have messages for me?” is what he asks instead. 
“Yes,” you answer, picking up the pad you’ve been scribbling notes on for the last hour. “Rex sent over the final schematics for the 0525 project that needs your approval by 3 p.m. today in order to begin production. Mayor Kryze’s office called about the upcoming Gala in December and wanted to know if you would be in attendance. And if so, how many tickets should they reserve? Oh, and someone from St. Lucas Preparatory School called to let you know that your son ripped his pants and needs a new pair brought to school because they don’t have any new pants in his size.” 
Anakin taps his index finger on your desk while he listens to you. He barely registers anything you say because it’s really hard to hear your voice without getting aroused. It’s hard even looking at you without automatically picturing you naked. There’s not an inch of your skin he’s never seen. Well, except for the top half of your face which now, of course, he has seen. And God, does he love what you have to offer. 
You’re still relaying messages but suddenly you’re bent over your desk, gripping the edge of it with pale knuckles as Anakin slams into you over, and over, and over. He’s making you yelp his name so loudly the whole building can hear you. 
“Mr. Skywalker?” 
Anakin snaps back into reality where you’re still fully clothed and definitely not moaning his name. “What?” comes out a little harsher than he intended. And he immediately regrets it when he sees you visibly shrink right before him. 
“What- what would you like me to tell the Mayor’s office?” 
Anakin has gone as a bachelor to the last two Christmas Galas. Ben stays close to Satine the whole night and he really doesn’t see the point in asking a woman he has no interest in to be his date. Plus, going alone lets him leave the party with whomever he wants or to call it a night and go home early to watch ELF and drink peppermint cocoa with his kids. 
“Have them put me down for 2.” 
You nod whilst making another note on the pad. “And what about your son’s pants?” 
“Did they say where he ripped them?” 
“Right down the middle,” you answer. 
Anakin shakes his head. “Oh, Luke,” he mutters to himself. “Alright, I’ll go home and get him a new pair.” 
“Icandoit,” rushes out of your mouth. 
“What?” 
“Sorry, my mouth moved faster than my brain,” you reply, hoping Anakin will find it endearing instead of annoying. “I said I can do it. I don’t mind. It’s my job, isn’t it?” 
Anakin opens his mouth but doesn’t say anything. Yes, technically it’s your job to do this sort of errand. But Anakin doesn’t want you going to his house alone, sifting through his son’s drawers, and bringing him new pants to his school. 
Primarily because he’d much rather you be in his home under different circumstances. 
“We’ll go together,” Anakin decides against his better judgment. “I’ll drive.”
.
.
.
So, Anakin definitely didn’t think things through when he said he’d drive. 
In what world did he think sharing a close, confined space with you was a good idea? This whole morning has been a cluster-fuck. Honestly. He’s still struggling to wrap his head around who you are. When you announced Squirting for Sky was going to be your last video, he thought what a devastation it would be to not look forward to your videos every week. Who would’ve thought you’d be the one replacing his dear old assistant the very next week? The odds of it all are overwhelming. 
But isn’t this what he’s always wanted? The opportunity to meet you? To know your name and know you personally? Every wish of his has been granted— except for the fact that he is your boss and you are technically his subordinate. He says technically because Dorothy always felt more like family than an employee. 
You could be family. 
You could be so much more than his assistant.
Oh, Jesus Christ, Anakin. Be reasonable. She’s your employee. She’s practically a kid. 
Anakin looks over to you for the first time since getting in the car. You’re pressed against the side of the passenger door, knees angled away from him and arms crossed over your chest. “Are you cold?” 
“Oh,” you say, looking at him with a tentative smile. “A little.” 
“You should’ve said so,” Anakin turns on the heater and your seat warmer. “My kids call seat warmers butt toasters. Let me know if your butt gets too toasty.” 
You have to bite your lip to keep from laughing. 
There’s an awkward pause as Anakin realizes what he just said. He absolutely cannot think about your butt any longer than he has to because we all know how that will end.
 (A hard cock, in case that wasn’t clear). 
 “I mean, uh- shit,” Anakin briefly closes his eyes to compose himself. Let me know if your butt gets too toasty? 
“Just turn it off yourself if you get too warm.” 
Do you make him nervous? No way. You decide to let it go. “Kids? Plural?” 
“Yeah.” Anakin drapes his right arm over the center console and taps his fingers against the gear shift. Long, dexterous fingers at that. You have to look away before you start thinking about something completely inappropriate of your boss. “I have twins. A boy and a girl. Luke, he’s the silly one. Right now he’s big into archeology. He’s also pretty clumsy, hence the rip in his pants. And Leia, my daughter, she’s far too serious for any 9 year old to be. She says she wants to be a senator when she grows up.” 
This is the longest you’ve been able to look at Anakin without feeling your cheeks burning. Now, they’re just hot because of the heater blasting in your face. “You light up when you talk about them,” you say. “You must love them a lot.” 
“More than anything,” Anakin doesn’t hesitate. “Here we are.” 
You should’ve been paying attention on how to get to his house from the office. Surely, you’ll be running these errands on your own if things go well with your employment. Oh, well. That’s what the Maps is for. 
Anakin’s house is a stunning Eichler. It looks straight out of an Architectural Digest cover. The lawn outside is perfectly cropped and perfectly green but littered with a soccer ball, football, a baseball bat and whiffle balls. You wouldn’t have pegged Anakin for a mid-century modern kind of guy. You would’ve thought he’d opt for an insanely modern, sterile house. 
As you walk through the atrium and into the main body of the house, it’s clear it is a family home. Anakin uses his foot to sweep his kids’ shoes out of the way so you don’t trip over them. “Sorry about the mess.” 
“It’s okay,” you shrug. Anakin’s house isn’t even all that messy. It just looks like a home. There are so many pictures on the walls, it would be impossible to look at all of them in one go. One in particular, though, catches your eye. It’s the largest out of all of them and the only one in black and white. A significantly younger Anakin is at the bedside of who you presume to be his wife with two bundles of babies in their arms. They are both looking down and smiling. His wife was stunning. They definitely made an attractive couple. 
It’s not lost on you that there are no other pictures of Anakin’s kids with their mom. He’s only spoken about his wife’s death in one interview, about a year after her passing. If you remember correctly, she died shortly after the twins were born. 
You can’t imagine the kind of pain and heartache Anakin must have felt losing his wife. You don’t know what it feels like to experience that kind of grief. You want to tell Anakin you’re sorry for his loss, but what good will that do? Is there any consolation in that at all? 
You’re still looking at the photo when Anakin returns from Luke’s room with a new pair of tan pants. You can feel his presence right beside you and the silence is louder than words. 
He shouldn’t have brought you back here. It’s only your first day and you’ve already seen too much of his life. 
“Let’s go,” Anakin orders. You nod without a word and follow him out to the car. 
The tension in the air is palpable on your way to St. Lucas Prep. You feel like you’ve done something wrong by simply stepping foot in Anakin’s house. His whole demeanor shifted when he came back to the front room with Luke’s pants. Does he regret bringing you to the house? If so, why? Dorothy clearly laid out your responsibilities to you. Tending to personal matters at Anakin’s house is part of the job. You are not just a professional assistant, but a personal assistant, too.
You can’t stand not knowing why someone is upset with you. “Did I do something wrong?” 
Anakin’s grip on the steering wheel tightens. “No.” 
Wow, how reassuring. “Okay, then why do I feel like I did something to upset you?” 
You’re really pressing your limit with him right now. You’ve only just met 2 hours ago. See, this is why meeting him should’ve been part of the hiring process. You’d be a lot more acquainted with each other than you are right now. 
If only you knew how acquainted Anakin is with you… 
“You didn’t,” is all he says. But with a twitch of his jaw, you still feel like he’s not telling you the truth. 
“Look, Mr. Skywalker,” you begin. “I understand Dorothy meant a great deal to you, and her leaving is going to be an adjustment. But I promise you I am capable of this job. I’m never late, I’m up late all the time so if there was anything you needed, I’d be able to fulfill it. I love kids, I’m a hard worker and I would really appreciate it if you gave me a chance before making any decisions about me.” 
“You’re right,” Anakin says. “I’ll give you a chance.”  But he’s already made up his mind. He doesn’t have to ‘give you a chance’ to know that he wants you. He is crawling out of his skin with how badly he wants you. And he knows it’s wrong, probably immoral, but he really doesn’t care. Because now that you’ve been inside of his home, the boundary that should exist between him as your boss and you as his employee feels impossibly blurry.
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mercurygray · 11 months ago
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Friends, I have failed you all. I've seen a lot of posts over the last week with a lot of great biographical detail about many of the flyers and aircrew who've been name-dropped so far in Masters of the Air - and I haven't seen a single thing about the one name that is directly in the center of this blog's lane.
In Part 2, returning from their mission to Trondheim, Cleven and Egan walk into the Interrogation hut and Egan accepts a cup of coffee from a woman he thanks as Tatty. Later on, at the dance, James Douglass remarks that he will be 'coming in hot' on one of the American Red Cross women on the other side of the room, and one of his friends asks "General Spaatz's daughter? Or the other one?"
Katherine "Tatty" Spaatz was a member of the American Red Cross Clubmobile service and the daughter of General Carl "Tooey" Spaatz, who commanded the Eighth Air Force on its move to England. (General Spaatz later moved to overall command of the entire Army Air Forces in the Europe Theatre of Operations, or ETO. He is, as the kids say, rather important.)
But we're not talking about him here. We're talking about her.
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Katherine was 22 years old when she arrived in Europe with the Red Cross. (One of her traveling companions that trip was Kathleen Kennedy, daughter of former U.S. Ambassador Joseph P Kennedy Sr., also coming to serve overseas with the ARC.)
The American Red Cross's mission in Europe had many facets during the Second World War - in addition to activities we might think of today, like collecting blood, providing disaster relief at home and running first aid seminars, they were responsible for collecting and distributing packages for Prisoners of War.
They also operated large canteens like the Rainbow Corner club, a recreational facility in London where soldiers on leave could get a room for the weekend, a bite to eat, and a number of other amenities. Smaller clubs called Donut Dugouts provided a space where a serviceman could always be assured of a cup of hot coffee, a donut, and a pretty girl to talk to, specially recruited for being friendly, fair, approachable, and specially trained to be the girl next door overseas. In addition to these more permanent installations, they also operated the Clubmobile service, a mobile version of their popular Dugouts that moved operations into retooled Green Line Bus Company buses to take donuts and a taste of home to the front line.
Tatty, as she was called, worked on the Clubmobile "North Dakota" along with Julia "Dooley" Townsend, Virginia "Ginny" Sherwood, and Dorothy "Mike" Myrick. Life Magazine did a full article on their clubmobile in February of 1943, which you can read online at the link. There is another lovely blog post with pictures here. She also worked for a time in a more permanent post at the USAAF base at Snetterton Heath, and was later sent to France. You can read a little bit more about her and see more pictures at her bio page at the American Air Museum in Britain website.
If you'd like more information about Tatty, Helen, and women like them, as well as the Clubmobile service, consider reading the following:
Slinging Doughnuts for the Boys by James H. Madison Battlestars & Doughnuts: World War II Clubmobile Experiences of Mary Metcalfe Rexford War through the Hole of a Donut, by Angela Petesch Goodnight, Irene (fiction) - Although this is a novel, it is based on Luis Alberto Urrea's mother's time as a Clubmobile worker and her personal papers.
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winter-snow-winter · 7 days ago
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!!!!
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Written three days after Pearl Harbor.
(source: The Webster Review and Signal Tribune, December 16, 1941.)
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lovemybluebully · 2 months ago
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All Hail Queen Bea!
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Based off of this Anon note. 😄
https://www.tumblr.com/lovemybluebully/765290767074951168/i-feel-that-even-if-logan-doesnt-admit-through?source=share
Super short little fluff-filled tickle fic that I just threw together really quick. lol Enjoy!
"Deadpool and Wolverine"-verse
Word Count: 609
"Staahahahaap! Wade pleheeheeheeease!" Logan begged through his wheezing laughter as Wade delivered the umpteenth raspberry to his quaking belly.
"So we're in agreeance then? Dorothy is definitively the best Golden Girl?" Wade paused with his face still hovering close above his roommate's most ticklish spot as Logan looked over at him with sparkling but pleading eyes and panted out his reply.
"B-But I haven't....even watched.....a whole episode yEHEHeHeheHEHET!!" Wolverine screeched, going totally wild once Wade began nibbling on his lower belly while making extra effort to target his unbearably sensitive V-line, "OKAAHAHAAAAY!! OKAAHAHAHAHAHAAYAAHAHAHAAHAA!!"
Wade kept it up for another minute while simultaneously reaching in with both hands to bury fingers into his squirming sides and make sure his point got across. Once Logan was reduced to nothing but a satisfying squealing wreck, he finally ceased the playful torture and sat up.
"Don't you ever disrespect Bea Arthur in my prescence again, you insolent cretin. We don't take kindly to that around here," he smirked and wiggled a few fingers under Logan's chin, getting some more giggles out of him before his hand was weakly smacked away.
"Heeheheehe.....Fuckin' geez.....All I said....was that Betty White.....seems like a pretty cool lady," Logan gulped for air while not making any attempt to get up from where Wade had pinned him on the couch.
They didn't have "The Golden Girls" tv show in Logan's universe and Wade was more than happy to have an excuse to run a marathon of all seven seasons.
"And of course she is! But as you have just learned, you just don't speak out against the Queen Bea like that," Wade smiled, secretly knowing that wasn't exactly a punishment for Logan, as he settled back into the couch and un-paused the television to resume the first episode.
In a tired, giggle-induced daze Logan somewhat sat up to lean against Wade and allowed his now relaxed eyes to shut. The merc just chuckled as he began softly running fingers through Logan's wild hair, noticing how much fuller it had grown-in ever since the feral mutant came to live in his universe.
"All tuckered out, huh? Don't worry, after you wake up I'll fill you in on everything that happens."
There were some quiet giggles bubbling out as Logan could still feel the phantom tickles all over his upper body with them even causing him to squirm slightly to Wade's delight.
"Still feeling tickly? That's how you know I'm a pro. Don't mess with me, these hands are deadly weapons. Well....technically you don't have to mess with me to get it. You spent a lot of years without smiling, Peanut, and I promise those days are long over. And if I have to tickle you to death every day just to see it then so be it."
Wade then shivered with excitement as he began to feel vibrations emanating from the Wolverine, though he held back from commenting on it. Only when Logan was truly at-ease and happy did this purring from deep within him manage to surface itself.
"Thank you...," Logan muttered softly and Wade almost melted on the spot from the indescribable joy he felt at hearing him say that. He looked down, wanting to question him about it, but Logan had already fallen asleep as he lightly snored against him.
Wade's smile widened, knowing that his friend had truly meant it. That admission along with how little Logan had fought it during and how relaxed he had become afterwards confirmed what Wade already knew; Logan liked being tickled.
"Any time, big guy," he replied and continued to gently massage his scalp, pushing Logan further into his blissful slumber.
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12woso12 · 6 months ago
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Dorothy lands in North London - Part 5
Part 4
When you finally made it back to Emily's apartment block, it was a quarter to seven in the morning. It was obvious that neither you or Kyra were time conscious which you could see being quite a problem for the two of you in the future. Quietly, you slipped inside the block and began to ascend the stairs to the fourth floor, eyes aching from the lack of sleep. Your joggers clung to the bottom of your legs, soaked from hours spent rolling around on wet grass. You must have looked as though you'd been dragged backwards through a hedge.
As you unlocked Emily's apartment door you found the older woman waiting for you at the kitchen counter, stoney expression on her face.
'Decided to return have you?' she mused, aggressively taking a bite of toast. 'How's Kyra?'
You flinch nervously at her tone. 'Sorry Em, I should've messaged you'
'Yeah you should've! If i hadn't of seen that dumb instagram story, which the club aren't going to be happy about by the way, then i wouldn't have known where you were!'
'I'm not a kid, Em' You retaliated 'I was with Kyra, we had a kick about at the park'
'At 3 in the morning? God help us all deal with you and Kyra being friends' She rolled her shoulders and began to ease up slightly. 'Want any breakfast? I've got cereal under the counter'
You gratefully find a box of something called Cookie Crunch and begin to nibble at a few pieces from the box. 'Wow, the Brits sure made this tasty didn't they?'
Emily snatched the box from your hands and took a bowl from the sink. 'Don't stick your hands in there! Look how muddy you are, you're going to need to take a shower before you get picked up for the Emirates'
You ate in silence, casting an occasional glance in Emily's direction in an attempt to see if her mood had changed. When after ten minutes the line in her brow still hadn't shifted, guilt coursed through your veins and tied your stomach in knots. Your fellow American had taken you in and this was what you repaid her in - sneaking out and mud caked shoes.
'I am sorry.' You said 'I couldn't sleep and Kyra was messaging me...I was exited to meet someone new and so i didn't really give much thought to the consequences'
'Thank you for apologising' Emily smiled for the first time that morning and then: 'Why couldn't you sleep?'
'Jetlag' you lied, Emily didn't need to know about your nightmares. You hadn't told anyone before. Of course, people knew the basics about your life, or at least what they'd read in the press. But you didn't think they needed to know how your father's abuse still haunted you or how you could still see the blood splatters from your mum's head.
'I'm getting picked up at 8:30 right?' You glance at your phone.
'Yeah. Know what you're wearing?'
You shrugged. 'Haven't even touched my suitcases yet.'
Emily stared at you in disbelief. 'Then how did you brush your teeth last night?'
'Gum?' you said matter of factly. It wasn't that you didn't enjoy feeling fresh before bed but it had been a long day and figured it could all wait until the following morning. What you hadn't counted on however was having little to no time in the morning due to your impromptu meeting with Kyra.
'Bloody hell' Emily murmured
'God you're so British now aren't you' You teased Emily
'Just you wait' Emily grumbled 'The Brits will get to you too'
'Never!'
The journey to the Emirates took a long hour of fighting traffic through the streets of London. You'd been picked up in a black and shiny SUV driven by an elderly man named Michael who you weren't exactly sure should have a license after you witnessed him reversing backwards over pavement.
But who were you to judge? You couldn't exactly drive either.
When you finally built up the courage to tackle your suitcases you had picked out a pair of loose blue jeans, a white t-shirt and a tweed blazer to fit over the top. You decided that smart casual was the way to go, not wanting to seem too eager but also excited to sign such a professional contract.
You were nervous as you approached the stadium. Your stomach was fluttering and your jaw clenched tightly as every second passed by. You weren't too sure what to expect, you knew Jonas Eidevall would be there to greet you at some point and you knew you'd be meeting the player liaison who would be helping to settle you in, but that was it. Everything else was the complete unknown.
As the SUV churned to a halt and you bid goodbye to Michael, the door swung open and you were met by a short woman who introduced herself as Jennifer.
'Sorry about all this secrecy' she said gesturing around her at the emirate's parking garage that you had been brought to. 'We try and keep all our signings under wraps until announcement day'
You sniggered slightly knowing that Arsenal could never keep a secret 'When will i be announced?'
'Day after tomorrow, if all goes to plan'
You eyebrows shot up 'That's quicker than i thought it would be'
'We were aiming for next week but it seems as though you and your new Australian friend decided to throw a wrench into our schedule' Jennifer made reference to your instagram post 'You've created a lot of buzz and we want to make sure to utilise it, so within 48 hours you'll be officially announced'
You decided not to defend yourself, the last thing you needed was your own player liaison to take a disliking to you. Instead, you followed her silently through a set of double doors and into the halls of the mighty Emirates stadium.
'This is David, he's our media specialist' Jennifer pointed to a man who was dressed head to toe in Arsenal gear. He held a phone in hand, video clearly on and pointing directly at you. 'He'll be following you around today, getting some content for the fans and that type of thing'
'Well as long as he doesn't follow me into the restroom' You deadpanned attempting to hold in laughter as Jennifer's eyes widened and David turned a deep shade of red.
'Have Kim and Leah been warned about you?' Jennifer half-joked. You shrugged and shot an apologetic glance towards David who instantly averted his eyes. 'This way, we need to get you into some red'
Jennifer led you and David down a maze of hallways and through a dozen doors until you finally came to a rest outside the player changing rooms. 'There's a kit waiting for you inside, once you're changed we can head up to the offices. I think Jonas has arrived so you can get to signing the contract. After that, we've got a welcome video to make'
You nod and hesitantly turn into the changing rooms. You were overcome with an overwhelming nausea suddenly and as you entered the Arsenal changing rooms for the very first time, the transfer became scarily real. The first thing you noticed about the room were the lights, they were harsh, almost too harsh for your tired eyes to take in. The Arsenal cress was printed onto the floor in the middle of the cubbyholes, it glistened with history and somehow sent a wave of pride into your bones despite having yet to wear its colours.
In the centre cubby hung your new kit. Usually you played with the number 13 on your back but since that had already been taken, you'd opted to swap the numbers around for 31. You made quick work of changing into the kit and ran a quick hand through your hair to add some volume. You paused in one of the mirrors to study your appearance and were happy to discover that the red kit suited you.
It wasn't too often that you worried about how you looked. You had the fortunate gene of appearing skinny and gorgeous, at least that's what your mum used to tell you.
You kept your own trainers on and folded the rest of your clothes to sit neatly in the cubby as you readied yourself to step back into the hallway where David would most definitely be waiting, camera in hand.
'Not bad this kit, is it?' you re-enter the hallway and smile at Jennifer who nodded at you impressed.
'Suits you' She said 'Come on then, up to the offices we go'
As you trudged up several flights of stairs, your hands grew sweater and you began to worry whether you'd be able to grip the pen tight enough. You tried to shake off the stupid thought and happily found yourself distracted when you finally came face to face with your new manager.
'Y/n!' Jonas exclaimed as Jennifer led you into a media room. 'It is great to meet you, we are all so excited to have you here' The Swedish man thrust a hand towards you which you took enthusiastically, meeting his wide smile and firm shake.
'Good to meet you' You replied as he gestured for you to take a seat at a table in the centre of the room. You sat down in front of a maroon wall, the Arsenal cress above your head. On the table lay a pen and paper, ready and waiting for your signature.
'I really hope we're able to build something here together' Jonas told you as he picked up the pen and handed it to you. The snap of David's phone capturing the moment was difficult to ignore.
'Me too, i'm excited to get started' You lower the pen to paper. Your life was about to change, for the worse or better, you didn't know. The pen moved fluidly as you drew out your signature and Jonas clasped you on the back in celebration.
You'd done it. You were officially an Arsenal player.
'Well, now that's out the way we're about to do something a lot more exciting' Jennifer smiled.
'The video?' You questioned
'Yep. And we've got a special guest'
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witchybitchybisexual · 4 months ago
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We all deserve some cheesecake!
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Happy #NationalCheesecakeDay
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lanymme · 1 year ago
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it 1000% feels like, for the lack of time/aid/skill, the translators end up using machine TL for events, and that image you posted as an example feels like a prime candidate for that
fiammetta's file lines to this day are awkward and stunted because they're almost word for word machine TLs
Okay I was gonna wait a little while for this post but you hit the nail on the head.
My (apparently not-so) tinfoil hat theory about this game: nearly all of it is machine translated.
While reading Dorothy's Vision in preparation for Lone Trail, I came across a (probably infamous) stretch of critically story-relevant text that was not translated at all. A friend of mine directed me to the arknights story reader, where I looked into the EN translation and, yep, that's still Chinese. So I ran it through a Machine TL to get the jist of it. It was serviceable, a lot of the terms translated surprisingly well, but the moment to moment writing was obscured to me by the TL quality.
And in a moment of dread I realized it read EXACTLY like any old bit of Arknights story, and everything clicked. The problems I have always had with the sentence structure and word choice feeling strangely disjointed, lacking in logical flow--all of it showed up the same from this raw machine translation.
Y'all. We've been getting a poorly touched-up machine translation of the Chinese text this whole time. All the effort you have to put in to just figure out what's being said--it's not your fault, the story is not too smart for you, it's because you're being asked to read a machine translation, without the context that it will be rough and full of holes.. Everything that writing is--beyond merely conveying information or a sequence of events--we get none of that.
Think about all the nuance we missed of your favorite characters. Your favorite moments. How much of their nuance and depth did we miss?
How many other characters and moments did you dismiss or skim because the writing couldn't convey their emotional core? How many of those could have been as important to you as your current fave?
The fact that Kal'tsit comes across as unintelligible--does she instead sound wise and poetic, in the original?
How much of the full text of Arknights do you think is available to us? 80%? 40%? Who can say.
But I can say one thing. What we have now is not acceptable.
Edit: hey, it’s been put forward by people with actual expertise in this field that MTL is highly unlikely here, and I realize I was a bit bold for this. If this is coming up in your feed pls seek out their explanations of things instead of reblogging the root! Thanks!
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lily-onher-grave · 25 days ago
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More wicked movie thoughts because I’m obsessed and insatiable
Kiamo Ko looks sick af and I can’t wait to see more of it in part two
Is that Elphaba and fiyero’s horse riding out? It’s not Fiyero because he’s walking with Dorothy so whoooo is it and will we find out more in part 2
Ariana Grande-Butera’s sad. little. face.
I’m so serious it’s so fucking heartbreaking and she does such a good job. Like what do you MEAN she looks seconds away from crying after the flashback until the end of the song. What do you MEAN she sings “she died alone” directly to elphaba’s effigy all while looking like she’s about to break down (Glinda being able to hit operatic notes while holding back tears. Glinda being able to smile even when she’s losing everything and her entire life is falling apart)
((I’m not gonna make it through Ariana singing thank goodness. I have one year to live because I will be DECEASED by the end of her solo))
Elphaba loves their prank war so much
I said it before but Elphaba really is just so fond of Glinda so immediately and I’m soft about it. This girl has never been given this much attention! It doesn’t matter that it’s negative attention she is eating it up!!
We don’t talk enough about how Glinda loses everything she knows and loves in one day. Like she loses Elphaba yes, but also she’s losing Fiyero, she leaves shiz and everyone she knows behind, she’s left alone in a strange city with people who just condemned her best friend, does she ever even see her parents again?? I’m emotional about her brb I’m gonna go write fic
Shout out to the girl in front of me who dropped her phone and said “you’re a queen” when I picked it up for her, way to stick to a theme way to be on brand in the theater, we love women supporting women lmao
I went with fanily and one of them asked me “so where are the parts where you cried?” And my dad was like “let me guess. The dance scene and Defying gravity.” I mean yeah true but you don’t gotta read me to filth like that
Also we were talking about the dance scene and Glinda wiping away elphie’s tears and my dad was like “how long do you think it’s been since someone touched Elphaba with kindness” and if you ever wondered where my angst comes from it’s apparently genetic jfc
Sunset defying gravity still has me in a chokehold.
(So does Ariana’s last “I hope you’re happy” and Glinda being so vulnerable in front of morrible and the lights breaking and the emerald city going dark and AHHHHH)
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stagefoureddiediaz · 3 months ago
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What IS this "friend of Dorothy" theory? I know it's connected to the wizard of Oz and over the rainbow as gay symbols or something, but I'm otherwise clueless...
Hey!!
Thanks for stopping by and asking - you’ve given me the perfect place to talk queer history 😎🤓
So a friend of Dorothy is LGBTQ+ slang for a gay man.
It’s precise origins and use as an lgbtq term isn’t fully know but it is believed to predate the 1939 Wizard of Oz movie. The theory is that its use came about based on several references in the original Frank Baum books the film is based on (which if you haven’t read I highly recommend), espeically the second one - the road to Oz. In that book, Dorothy’s friends are described as queer and her reply to that comment is that queerness doesn’t matter as long as they’re friends. There is possible innuendo related to the scarecrow when he comments that you can go both ways along the yellow brick road (his line is ‘of course some people go both ways’). And the princess Ozma in the books is viewed as one of the first transgender character in literature (it’s too long to go into in detail but basically ozma is given to a witch - mombi- who transforms her into a boy called Tip so that the rightful heir to the oz throne is usurped.
The 1939 film can be argued to take things further - all of Dorothy’s three friends have queer attributes - for example the cowardly lion is a dandy lion (which is a play on Dandelions the flower, but also on the dandy - a specific type of man that became a thing in the regency (1800’s) era and transformed men’s fashion. Beau Brummell was a major force in the development of the dandy look. He was very close friends with the prince regent of England and it is rumoured the two were lovers (there is plenty of circumstantial evidence but no official proof has come to light and the royal family keep a lot of that information under wraps if it wasn’t previously destroyed) until their very public falling out!). Other things that contribute are the change from black and white to colour in the film - which was done in large part as a way of showcasing the new Technicolor technology, but can also be viewed as a metaphor for Dorothy escaping the black and white morally rigid small town she came from and ending up in city in a world full of colour with friends equally as colourful. The song over the rainbow became a queer anthem after the films release and in part (the fact she was also one of the first stars to have her life splashed over the tabloid press in gory detail and was othered because of it was also a part of it - along with her intense stage fright and deep self doubt about her talent whilst simultaneously being an electric and absorbing performer when onstage) led to Judy garland becoming a queer icon (something she embraced) and the rainbow from the wizard of oz and from that song was a contributing factor in the adoption of the rainbow flag as a symbol of the gay community and then the wider lgbtq community (and that hs obviously developed further into the progress pride flag we have today).
Because in a pre stonewall world (stonewall happened in the days immediately after Judy’s death - it’s never been fully stated as the reason for the riots, but it may well have been a contributing spark that help ignite them), Judy had become a gay icon through ‘over the rainbow’ and the wizard of oz, her concerts were a way for gay men to meet and thus referring to themselves as a friend of Dorothy’s as a way of subtly letting other know their sexuality with a greatly reduced risk of persecution. I could go much more into Judy garlands backstory because it’s fascinating and very much related to queerness in Hollywood but I don’t have the time to right now - I recommend looking into it though there are a couple of great biographies on her or there are many documentaries that look at her life!
I hope that’s helped 😎💜
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