#thank you for asking!!! i love the silly fungus

[h0nkshroom]

What's your favorite mushroom:

to eat

aesthetically

that absolutely horrifies you

🎤

What a wonderful ask to wake up to!

To Eat; You can never go wrong with the classic Button Mushroom, you can find them in just about any grocery store, and are in fact technically baby mushrooms to the larger Portobello Mushroom Very yummy, I love them, especially on pizza <3

Aesthetically; I love what is called the Tippler's Bane / The Ink Cap Mushroom! It is technically edible as well, but never with alcohol. Otherwise, it is deadly poisonous!! It's a very pretty looking mushroom, and yes, you could make actual ink from them, though it would turn out a bit of a light shade of grey.

That Absolutely Horrifies Me; Thank you for making me remember the existence of Devil's Fingers / The Octopus Stinkhorn. Not a poisonous fungi to eat, however it smells god awful and looks like a miniature portal to hell opened up and has sent demon tentacles to come claim your soul.

Though to add onto this one, I will also mention the Destroying Angel mushroom cause god damn, it is one of the most toxic mushrooms you could ever eat, and it gets mistaken for a common edible mushroom, all the time. For this reason, they were also given the name "Fool's Mushroom".

[moonstruckme]

Hiiiii!!!! So, if you wanna write something, can you do poly marauders find out reader sleeps with like an almost concerning amount of plushies??? I literally sleep on a few plushies so I think it would be cute lol

Hi sweetheart, thanks for requesting!

poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 1k words

You’ve been pouting all evening, ever since the boys had decided to watch a new comedy film over one of your chickflicks. You’re ganging up on me, you’d complained, and James felt a twinge of guilt but Sirius had only laughed. You’re damn right we are, sweetheart, because we watched that one just last week! You’d gone silent after that, but you’ve seemed vaguely sulky ever since, even when James brought you popcorn and tried to snuggle up with you under the blanket. 

“I’m gonna go to bed,” you say abruptly, standing and gathering your blanket about you. 

“Already?” James asks. “The movie’s only got like, twenty more minutes in it.” 

“That’s okay,” you yawn, stooping to give him a hug and kiss. “Goodnight.” 

“Goodnight, dovey,” Remus says as you kiss him too, then Sirius. “Sleep well.” 

James watches you go, unease growing like a fungus in his chest as you go into your room instead of one of theirs, the door shutting definitively behind you. 

“Prongs, hey.” He turns to find Remus looking at him, his brows scrunching just softly upwards. “Don’t worry about it, love, she’s alright.” 

“I know it’s silly,” he says, casting another glance down the hall, “but she just seemed so put out. And then she went to her own room.” 

“She doesn’t always want to sleep in ours.” Sirius shrugs. “Disappointing, but it doesn’t necessarily mean anything.” 

It’s true; you only sleep in one of your boyfriends’ rooms maybe half of the time, but this has always been a point of confusion for James. He and the other boys shuffle between rooms every night, and when you join them you seem to enjoy it as much as the rest of them do. Plus, it’s no secret that you love cuddles above all else, so why deprive yourself of them on such a regular basis?

James stands. “I’m gonna go check on her.”

“Suit yourself,” Sirius says, and Remus only nods, attention going back to the film. 

James sees blue light coming from underneath your door as he approaches, confirming his suspicion that you weren’t really tired enough to sleep when you’d left. He knocks softly. “Sweetheart? Can I come in?”

You don’t reply, and he hesitates briefly before cracking the door. For a moment, he wonders if you’re in here at all. He certainly can’t find you. The entire room is awash in blue light, your laptop screen on full brightness as the intro to the movie you’d wanted to watch earlier plays silently. Where you should be on your bed is instead half a million stuffed animals. Piles of them, from your headboard to the end of the bed, with little faces lit by the screen like they’re watching the movie, too. 

James draws closer, noticing your headphones plugged into the laptop, and follows the chord until he finds you, nestled so deeply in plushies that only your face is visible. He takes a second to relish the sight before waving a hand in front of the screen to get your attention. You startle, the movement sending a plushie tumbling off the bed and onto the floor. You lunge for it, disrupting even more of the toys, and James has to dam the avalanche with both hands, passing you the fallen stuffed animal—A penguin, he thinks to himself. How cute—while you take off your headphones. 

“Fuck, you scared me,” you say breathlessly, and James guffaws, hysterical laugher bubbling out of his chest. “What?”

“Just,” he marvels, shaking his head, “it’s surprising to hear that kind of language coming from someone absolutely buried in cuteness right now.” 

You sink further into the pile, and if the lighting weren’t so blue at the moment, he suspects your face would appear redder. 

“Jamie,” you say, quietly, hurriedly. “Jamie, don’t tell. Please?”

He’s just starting to wonder whether he’s even capable of keeping a secret as good as this when two pairs of footsteps start down the hallway. 

“What’s going on?” Sirius’ voice calls, a second before Remus flicks on the light and both boys go silent. James giggles, bringing his hand to his mouth in an attempt to smother the sound. Your face is indeed as flushed as he’d imagined, and you burrow further into your squishy fortress as if you could disappear into it entirely. 

“Baby,” Sirius says, sounding positively delighted, “where have you been hiding all of this?”

“I haven’t been hiding them.” Your voice is muffled by stuffing. “They just stay in my closet during the day. So my room doesn’t look cluttered.” 

“But why?” Sirius makes his way over to you, picking up a fox by your head. “This little guy is so charming. You’d deprive us of him?”

Despite Sirius’ honey-coated tone, you know what he’s about, and your eyes narrow defensively. 

“Dove,” Remus says slowly, fighting to keep his expression under control as his eyes glitter with amusement. “This is the most adorable thing I think I’ve ever seen.” 

You don’t look inclined to make a response, so James speaks again. 

“Is this why you don’t always want to sleep with us?” he asks, doing his best to gentle the teasing in his voice. “Because these guys are welcome in my room anytime if it means I get to be with you too.” 

You make your eyes big and sad in that way James swears you have to practice in the mirror. “Really? You don’t think it’s embarrassing?” 

James is finally free to unleash the full capacity of his smile. “Of course not, angel.”

“Well, maybe, like, a dozen of them,” Sirius says. “With more than one person, I think they’d all end up falling off the bed.” 

You look horrified. “I feel so guilty when that happens.” 

Remus makes a sound that’s half laugh, half coo. “Darling, you’re going to kill me with all this.” He gives you a look so syrupy sweet James feels his heart go all soft and mushy. “Please come finish the movie with us so I can give you a proper cuddle?”

“And bring some of your friends,” Sirius adds as you start to extricate yourself from the jumble on your bed. “Fuck, I’m never gonna get over this.”

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Pyroclasmic Slooch (Sulucina vulcanis)

Debut: Pikmin 3

I think Pyroclasmic Slooch has one of the best names of any Pikmin creature! This is the one I break out if I ever need to explain what a Pikmin name feels like. A large scientific jargon-y sounding word, followed by a single silly little syllable it's perfect! And it IS meaningful, because Pyroclasmic is only one letter away from Pyroclastic, as in pyroclastic flow, a hot volcanic gas/rock current. And Slooch is just, look at this thing! It's what "slooch" looks like! Both as a noun AND a verb!

Fire in video game and monster design is usually pretty boring to me, just for how common it is. I get it, since it is pretty much the most "yeowch! don't touch" thing everyone is familiar with, but I have had enough of Charizardlikes bloating my media! Thank goodness, then, for Pikmin, which implements "conventional" elemental properties into fun, pseudoscientific speculative creatures! It may often be a big load of nonsense, but they explain the nonsense so confidently. Yeah alright. Whatever you say! Maybe a slug could be on fire.

Hello Slooch! What a nice smile you have, framed by your oral tentacles! I wonder if Pyroclasmic Slooch's eyes are useful at all. A regular slug's eyes are mostly just for sensing light and dark, but that doesn't seem practical for a creature that makes its own light that would constantly be in view! Just to be safe, you should give this Slooch a thumbs up, in case it can indeed see you! (computer screen is a real portal to another world where pretend creatures live)

So yeah, Pyroclasmic Slooch is a slug on fire, or maybe a snail whose shell IS fire. It doesn't really matter, either way, the DESIGN is fire! The vibrant orangish stripes on its black body evoke flowing and cooling lava! Lava joke: I bet it was a real "aa moment" when they came up with that design quirk!

As much as I love Pyroclasmic Slooch, it is a wild animal! And it will try to eat the min that you picked, with its funny blue tongue! Louie, everyone's favorite menace Louie, recommends cooking this tongue and no other part of the creature. Would You Eat? I wouldn't, but I wouldn't judge you for doing it. If you have plenty of Red Pikmin, though, their fire immunity makes Slooches very easy to deal with.

You know, real slugs like mold! Do you think Pyroclasmic Slooch likes mold? Maybe it could be friends, with mold. Let's introduce them!

Name: Moldy Slooch (Parasitus pseudofungi elasticis hostus)

Debut: Pikmin 4

Hooray! Now they're inseparable! You may notice that Moldy Slooch's scientific name differs greatly from that of Pyroclasmic Slooch, and that is because the Slooch is no longer in control. It is being puppeted by a fungus! Its nervous system and slime organs have been entirely taken over. Isn't that nice? Now the Slooch doesn't have to do any work, because the fungus does all of that for it! This slug can just relax for the rest of its life, because it is not dead! A dried-up corpse wouldn't be useful a very good friend, would it? In fact, if the Moldy Slooch does die, it can be instantly revived by a phallic, yet kindly Toxstool! The gift of eternal life!

Moldy Slooch's description by Dalmo (the animal enthusiast who could have been writing for this blog the whole time and you would be none the wiser includes the incredible line "Slugga slugga choo choo! Here comes the fungal spore train." So fun! Whee! I want to ride the train!

Moldy Slooch is really the best friend someone could ask for. After I met it in person, and it introduced me to Toxstool, I've never felt better! So what are you waiting for, fellow living animals? Come visit our damp cave sometime! You are always welcome :)

[wilders-girl]

I Collect Spores, Mold, and Fungus.

Egon Spengler x Fem!Reader

PG, fluff, but also angst. I am a sad person I cannot help myself

Mild cursing, Egon feels undeserving of reader's luv, bro cries, reader cries, everyone cries, mutual pining but they're painfully unaware

3,428 words

Not proofread bc I'm silly 🤯

This was 100% an impulse write and it was created from the hours of 12-2 AM for a fortnight. Not my best work but I am in love with this silly goofy fellow. Ray is there!!! And mentions of the other guys too! Hope u enjoy ♡

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

"So, what kind of hobbies do you have?" I meekly asked, watching Egon work from afar.

"I collect spores, mold, and fungus." He answered without skipping a beat.

I was startled at his quick answer, but responded soon enough that he wouldn't think I was judging him.

"That's quite interesting, actually." I spoke. "Do you have to take care of them like a houseplant, or something?"

Now it was his turn to look startled, glancing up at me for a moment before resuming his work.

"In a way, yes. I observe their progress as they grow and record differences between members of the same species and such."

He adjusted the dial on his microscope and changed the slide.

"Obviously, they're less demanding than a houseplant." He finished.

"I can understand that." I nodded.

"God, it seems like houseplants are allergic to tap water. Only the finest H2O for you, my liege!" I joked, shaking my head.

The corners of his mouth pulled up in a small smile, and I felt my heartbeat quicken at the sight.

A moment of silence passed before I spoke again.

"Fungi sound easier to take care of by a long shot. Do you have any favorite types?"

He paused his research and looked up at me, seemingly amazed again.

I had an apologetic expression and started to stand up from my awkward position on the couch.

"Sorry if I'm bothering you, I can go back upstairs if you'd like-."

"No!" He interjected, wide-eyed.

"Sorry. I just…" He trailed off for a second, analyzing the best way to say what he wanted to.

"I didn't expect you to actually be interested in my hobby." He spoke slowly, as if each word carried more meaning than at face value.

"I didn't think anyone cared."

"Oh, Spengs," I placed my hand on my chest. "I'm sorry. If it means anything, I'm not lying. I really do think it's interesting."

I felt a wave of sadness envelop me as I realized how he'd felt all this time. Reading between the lines, I knew what he really meant.

"I didn't think anyone cared about me."

He swallowed and locked eyes with me, his eyebrows furrowed in sincerity.

"Thank you."

His voice carried heavy emotion, very off-brand for the usually stoic scientist.

Snapping out of his trance, he got up from his desk himself and walked over to me.

"Would you like to see my favorite specimens?" His voice was quiet, very hesitant. Like if he spoke too loudly, I'd disappear.

I smiled up at him, and we made eye contact again.

"I'd love to."

I felt something change between us the moment we looked into each other’s eyes. He let his shoulders relax a little, he smiled a little wider than his typical smirk, and his gaze softened behind those thick glasses. The most insignificant changes meant so much for a man like him. I could tell, though, at that moment, that he trusted me. Somehow, this cold, unsociable man allowed me into his world, a heavily guarded fortress. All because I showed him a little bit of love. And he had no idea how much I had to give him.

After putting on sterile gloves, he carefully took a petri dish from the top rack, closest to the heat lamp, and showed me a funky looking pink fuzz.

"This," He began, a smug look appearing on his face, "Is one of my top three favorite specimens. This is fusarium oxysporum, a type of filamentous fungi that occurs most commonly as a soil-borne pathogen to many plants. This one's a tough specimen; it's survived nearly every experiment I've put it through."

I analyzed it in his hands, admiring the dark magenta color.

"Why is this one of your favorites?" I asked, looking back up at him.

He looked away in embarrassment.

"I like the color." He muttered.

I laughed softly at that.

"I expected a more scientific answer, Dr." I joked.

He sighed and looked for another specimen near the middle racks, and I laughed again at his shyness.

"Ah. There it is." He sported his signature half-smile.

He brought out a piece of a tree branch, and his eyes gleamed.

"This one is terana caerulea, also known as the velvet blue spread. It's a saprobic crust fungus commonly found on the underside of fallen trees in deciduous forests."

"I really like the texture of this one!" I looked at the specimen closely. "It really is like velvet."

"Mhm. This one was the most vivid sample I could find when Ray forced us to go camping upstate a few years back. As you can see, it's been doing pretty well, too."

I snickered at the thought of the boys, especially Egon, going camping. It just didn't sound real.

"And why is this one of your favorites, Dr?" I teased.

He looked down at me and smiled.

"I like the color."

I laughed again, missing the look of adoration he sent me as I did.

"Is it your favorite color?" I asked once I regained my composure.

Looking away quickly to hide the fact he was looking so intently at me, he nodded.

"I guess it is."

I kept that in the back of my mind. Just in case I needed that information someday.

He discarded his gloves, washed his hands and walked back over to his desk, and I followed, standing a polite distance from him. I needed to tell him something.

"Hey, Spengs?" I quietly asked.

He turned around and raised an eyebrow, leaning on the desk.

I fidgeted with the ring on my little finger.

"I really like talking to you, you know. I think you're great."

I paused, looking at the floor.

"I guess it's because you treat me like an equal. I guess more like an actual human being if we're comparing you to Venkman. But, like, I never feel stupid or out of place when I'm around you. It's the opposite, actually. I feel really comfortable around you. You make me really happy, Egon."

I smiled at the ground, feeling as though I'd just run a marathon. My face was terribly overheated, I could feel it. For a second, I regretted this random burst of confidence and wanted to crawl into a hole and rot so maybe he'd collect the fungus growing on my dead body.

I looked up at him for a quick second and saw him with furrowed brows and pursed lips. Tears were threatening to spill over his eyes as he looked away from me.

I automatically assumed the worst and let my arms hang limp at my sides in my shameful retreat upstairs. I did too much.

"Aw, Spengler, I'm sorry -"

I was cut off by the feeling of arms wrapping tightly around my torso in a hug before I could take a step away.

I was shocked. It took me a couple of seconds to realize what was going on and melt into the sensation.

He shook gently in my arms as silent sobs escaped him.

I closed my eyes and whispered sweet nothings to him while rubbing circles on his back. It probably looked a little awkward from an outsider's perspective since he was bent so far over my smaller frame, but I wouldn't have had it any other way.

For a moment, I tried to discard my feelings for him. I told myself he needed me as a friend at that moment, and blinked back a few tears of my own as I realized a friend was all he wanted me as, selfish as it was in that moment.

I tried to calm the fluttering in my heart as he held me even closer and let out a shaky sigh.

"I'm sorry, I should have asked -"

It was my turn to cut him off now.

"Hey, don't be sorry. You're alright. I'm here for you." I spoke softly in the crook of his neck.

He pulled away, to my dismay, and immediately looked at the ground, upset at himself.

"This is completely irrational of me, I'm truly very sorry." He mumbled.

I reached a hand out towards his, silently asking permission to hold it.

He hesitantly took my shaky hand in his cold one.

"I should be the one to apologize, Egon. I brought it up out of nowhere, and it was just weird of me to say. I'm sorry for making things weird. I just wanted you to know that you're appreciated, and I really do think you're worth my attention and time.

He whispered my name.

"You make me happy too." He was still looking down, but a bit of the sadness was erased from his eyes.

"Ever since I met you, you've brought me nothing but happiness in my life. Nobody really tries to understand me like you do. And…"

He slightly tightened his grip on my hand.

"I'm sorry if I ever make it seem like I don't value you. I'm aware that I don't express my emotions as clearly as other people, but I wish I was clearer with you. You are one of my favorite people. You mean a lot to me as a friend."

I felt my heart drop a little at those words, and I looked at the floor. I mentally cursed myself for focusing on the "friend" part, when it was obvious he needed me to be a friend and be there for him right now.

"You mean a lot to me in general." He paused.

"Maybe even beyond friendship." He spoke under his breath. If there had been any other noise, I wouldn't have heard him say it.

I snapped my head up to look at him in shock.

He took off his glasses and wiped away the remnants of his tears with the sleeve of his lab coat, breaking our hand-holding and eye contact.

I couldn't muster up the courage to say anything as he put his glasses back on and looked at me confused.

"Are you alright?" He said my name.

I still couldn't speak, and all I could do was look up at him. Maybe I was hearing things. Swallowing thickly, I broke our eye contact again.

"Shit." He muttered, quickly bringing a hand up over his mouth.

I looked back up at him to see his face creased in worry.

"Did I say that out loud?"

I felt my ears go hot and looked away while nodding.

He hissed a string of profanities and turned around to rummage through the drawers in his desk.

"I'm sorry," He shakily said my name, "I wasn't thinking straight. Please forgive me. It's unlike me to speak without thinking, God I'm an idiot!" He rambled, still looking through his drawers with a prominent redness in his cheeks.

"Did you mean it?" I whispered, effectively snapping him out of his quest.

He made eye contact with me, brows knotted, and opened his mouth like he was going to speak but decided against it. He began to scour the drawers again.

"There it is." He pulled out a small journal and clutched it tightly.

He stared intently down at it, eyes flitting to me occasionally as he spoke.

"I'm not very good at… conversing 'without a script', so to speak."

He cleared his throat.

"I, uh, figured it would be better for me to not… speak… when this situation came around."

He held his lips shut and handed the book towards me with a shaky hand. His eyes were still trained on the book, even though I was looking at him.

I hesitantly accepted the journal from him and looked at him to ask permission to read it. He nodded and leaned against the desk, picking at his fingers in anxiety as I opened it to the first page.

---

10/3

We hired a new worker today. She's going to assist Janine in taking calls. I overheard some of the interview walking upstairs to get food, and it seems she's more well-versed in paranormal studies than Janine. I might have to quiz her on that later.

10-27

After getting to know her a little better, I've decided she is worthy of entering my lab. I let her come down today to investigate, and she seemed quite intrigued by the happenings down here. I wonder what she found so fascinating. I couldn't ask her, I'm not sure why.

10-30

It's become increasingly more difficult for me to speak to her about personal affairs. I'm still unsure why. She's easy to get along with, and I seem to be able to converse with her just fine, but I freeze up when she does certain things.

11-2

I've noticed a pattern with the phenomena that triggers my inability to interact with her. I've found that it happens most when she smiles or laughs, gets close to me, makes physical contact with me, etc. The PKE didn't pick up any suspicious readings from her, so maybe there's something wrong with me. I'll run an experiment tomorrow.

11-3

The research shows I'm completely fine, but she still renders me speechless. After work today, she changed into a very flattering dress, saying that she was going out with her friend for drinks. It was, at face value, a regular dress. Though, somehow, it looked stunning on her. I didn't realize I was smiling until she pointed it out. I fear that I might have a different problem than I imagined.

11-15

My problem is most definitely not paranormal. It's biological. She was in the lab again today, helping me with my temperature-related differentiation study with the penicillium species. She comes down here on slow days when Janine tells her she can handle the work. When I moved to take the petri dish out of her hand, I accidentally brushed my fingers with hers and almost dropped the specimen. She was warm, but that wasn't what was alarming to me. I simply enjoyed the feeling. I enjoyed her presence, and I enjoyed her as a person in my life. I liked seeing her happy, and couldn't bear seeing her sad. I realized a simple truth at that moment: she made me happy and I wanted to make her happy too. Irrational it may seem, but she means the world to me.

11-22

I have come to a conclusion. How can I tell her without making a fool of myself? I fear it cannot be done. I can't say my feelings aloud to her. But I need to let her know how much she means to me.

11-23

I'm giving her this journal.

11-27

Since you've come this far in reading this, I want to tell you the facts, since it's easiest for me to think in a logical way. After running some studies on myself, i've come to some conclusions. When I make physical contact with you, my heartbeat quickens an average of 15%. After a prolonged interaction with you, I've recorded that the dopamine levels in my brain rise around 3 pg/ml. I find that when you're gone, I think about you around 2 times per minute; sometimes more, sometimes less. It's so comfortable for me to live in the analytical, logical world, but oftentimes you make me want to forget the science. You've made me feel things I just cannot explain. You have made me smile more than I have in years. I just feel happier with you, I don't know how to explain it. I have this irrational yearning for you. I want to see you happy, and I want to be the cause for your happiness. I want to be near you and see you at all times so I never forget how beautiful you are. I want to touch you, to be close to you so you can fill me with the warmth you bring in my heart. That, I can't explain. Therefore, logical or not, the signs point to one clear idea. I am in love with you. I felt you needed to know. I couldn't keep making excuses for my strange behavior. Thank you for reading this.

---

I closed the journal and felt a tear drip off my face. Wiping my eyes, I didn't realize I'd been crying until I felt the cold wetness against my fingertips. I sat there for a minute, collecting my thoughts and composure, and set the book down on Egon's desk.

Without a second thought, I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around him. This time, not bothering to be reserved with my emotions. I held him to me as tight as I could and felt euphoric by his reciprocal. I closed my eyes and let myself enjoy the feeling like I was on cloud nine.

Breathing in his scent one last time, I pulled away slightly and looked up at him. I probably looked like shit, but I didn’t care.

"I love you, too." I smiled.

He breathed out a sigh of relief and we went right back to our embrace.

I giggled, thinking about how nervous he was to not mess anything up. He was always so considerate of me. I didn't know why I never realized it. Then again, I guess he didn't realize it either.

He muttered my name, and I pulled away again to look at him, though I'd have stayed entwined with him forever if I could.

"Thank you." He smiled softly at me.

I reached for his hands and held them level with my shoulders as I leaned up to press a kiss to his cheek.

He blinked a couple times and looked away shyly, a rose tinge washing over his cheeks and ears. I could only giggle at how adorable he looked at that moment. I never wanted to stop kissing him.

He pulled away, still smiling, and shut off his machinery for the evening. I reached for the journal again and smiled, thinking of the unspoken words in there. I learned that he was not a man of few words, rather, he just didn't voice his thoughts aloud. What he did say aloud was always the most meaningful or efficient of his thoughts.

"It's late." He spoke softly, turning around to face me. "You should get some rest."

I rolled my eyes.

"And you shouldn't?"

"I can function on an hour of sleep, thank you very much." He teased.

"Tell you what, Dr. I'll sleep if you sleep." I raised my eyebrows in mock defiance.

"There's no way to hold each other accountable for that, you know. You could be lying and stay up another few hours."

I clicked my tongue and pointed at him.

"That's exactly what someone who isn't about to sleep would say."

He shook his head with a half-smile.

"What, do you plan to hold me accountable somehow? Make me pay if I don't follow your bidding?"

I cocked my head, pretending to think about it.

"Doesn't sound half bad, actually. Renowned scientist Egon Spengler groveling at the feet of a woman who wants him to sleep."

He laughed, the sound I love so much. Then, an idea popped into my head. I slowly let my grin grow like a Cheshire cat.

"What if I did hold you accountable?"

He narrowed his eyes on me in confusion.

"If you crash at my place, I'd know you aren't cheating."

His eyes widened, and he suddenly took off his glasses to inspect them so as to break our eye contact.

But he didn't refuse.

I slowly stepped closer to him and took the glasses out of his hands to make him look at me again.

"What do you say, Spengs?" I innocently batted my eyelashes at him.

He looked away and swallowed, clearly flustered.

"You can say no." I spoke in a more serious tone, handing him back his glasses.

He put them back on and looked down at me with a surprising amount of confidence in his eyes, demeanor, and voice.

"Deal." He muttered.

—

We left the station shortly after, quietly conversing on our way out. Ray was still working on the Ecto-1 and squinted up at us from the car. His eyes widened when they landed on our entwined hands, and the cigarette almost fell out of his mouth in a shocked expression.

Egon turned around briefly and gave him a look I couldn't figure out. Ray nodded in acceptance and went back to work, whispering a "good night, you two," probably not to wake Peter "Sleeping Beauty" Venkman upstairs. With a wave and a smile, we exited the premises.

He fell asleep first.

—

A/n: oh my days writing this HEALED me. I've been in a tough situation with someone irl for a couple months and it just killed any semblance of happiness I believed still lived in me. Like seriously I try to play it off bc I'm cool but it made me really sad. AND COMBINED W SCHOOL I JUST. seething. But I'm back!!! And fictional men are helping me regain my hope for humanity (and maybe men). Sorry for the long break, but I am back on my bullshit now 😈

[slaughtershack]

I am in love with your silly Scp ocs!!!! Is your memetic hazard oc the only one or are there others?

god it takes me 800 years to respond to asks my bad pal HELLO!!! THANK YOU!! I LOVE THEM TOO! i have a couple SCP ocs under my belt but some of them are in the middle of a rework right now + i need to draw them again LOL you know how it is i think ive already posted archie (i need to work on her a little more), the art is a bit old but shes there!! fungus gal i need to get back into the swing of making ocs and such but beautiful men (hank j) have been plaguing all 5 of my senses

[mushlooms]

i am loving tlou so much so far i had to make a long rant post about it but god!!!!

yeah it’s just two episodes for now, but i couldn’t have asked for anything better. they are doing it all so well. i love what they kept from the game, and what they changed, what they took out, and what they enhanced. i love the background we are getting, the terrifying idea of a hive mind and a fungus that has rooted itself to earth. i love how they let us see how it all started, and how clever they were to make it all start in a factory where it made sense for the fungus to spread. i love the tone of the show that is so similar to the game but yet has details that make it even more terrifying, like joel having to silently reload his gun, something that in the game we didn’t need to worry about. i love the silent, gentle and subtle acting of the cast, of Joel looking at his watch when Ellie reminds him of Sarah, of Ellie’s joyful expression when she sees Joel protecting her from the guard that is so different from Sarah’s when she sees him protecting her from that infected lady. I love Tess sudden change in behavior when she was infected and Joel instantly noticing something is wrong because she is always the patient one. I love the background they gave in their relationship, of Tess going “I never asked you for anything, Not to feel the way I felt” and yet Joel’s eyes were telling a different story. I love that they kept the silly sarcastic and snappy dialogues between Ellie and Joel and yet added a bit more to it, making you notice Joel is trying not to get attached because he already lost someone he loved once. I love the graphics and scenery, the sound design that made me feel like the Clicker was right next to me to the point it made me sweat. and the zombies! I absolutely love the zombies, how the makeup artist made they look terrifyingly beautiful. I love everything about it so far, and I can tell love was put into it as well and that makes me so happy. This is what an adaptation should be like, and I’m so glad they are doing it justice and pouring so much love and attention to every detail. Honestly, big thank you to everyone behind the show. Thank you for making this wonderful game into a wonderful series, this is how it should be done, and I am so happy to see this beautiful story being handled with so much care and love.

[manyunhappygreenies]

OH MY GOSH YOU SHOULD FR TELL US MORE ABOUT THE SILLY TLOU X MCSM ART YOU DID

Omg the sillies...I love them

Okay so 🙏

I've only written my draft up to the winter section (before David is turned into meat soup)

So replacing the fungus is, wither sickness.

I wanna add the same world building as the game (and some aspects of the HBO series) mixed in with Minecraft and story mode's world building.

I don't wanna go to deep into it right now but as I get more into the story and am able to publish the first chapter on my AO3 I'll talk more about it ^^

Thank you so much for the ask btw, hope you have a good day!

[lunarsilkscreen]

Toxoplasmosis

Somebody read my article on the zombie mind-control fungus and asked my thoughts on an alternative explanation to Toxoplasmosis. The virus that reduces anxiety in rodentia and makes then sacrifice themselves to the cat gods.

My first observation is the availability of Cat poop for observation of the parasite. We assume that it's major-host is Cats, because it's often found in Cat Poop. However, it can also be found in other fecal matter *and* in mammalian breast milk.

What this means is that because Humans are more likely to clean away their fecal matter, or pick up and toss dog poop thanks to the propensity of lawn care; the more ready available nature of cat poop in human society simply means it's more easily found where house cats exist.

Dogs also enjoy a good sidewalk Snickers bar, which means they're still less likely to exist around dogs where they will more than likely end up in the stomache.

Now, Toxoplasmosis doesn't reproduce well through the stomache like observations suggest. The leading theory is that toxoplasmosis finishes it reproductive cycle through stomache acid because it "makes rodents [ritual of life] themselves". Is a silly one, considering that stomache acid kills most, if not all loving things. And I think, observations will suggest that it is also the case with {Toxoplasma gondii}.

Now. It *is* true that a T. Finding infection leads to flu like symptoms. You know what *also* leads to flu like symptoms? Anything else that activates your immune system and causes the flu symptoms.

Thus; the flu like symptoms are your bodies response to getting rid of a threat, like any other.

No, how T.G. reproduces is through the respiratory system *and* on the surface of a larger organism. And if it manages to make it past the digestive system and all the other bodily defenses? It makes it to the exhaust pipe.

Which means it ends up in whatever mammalian host breathes in the para-spores. (Sporification is how the parasite goes from poop to host.)

So why mice and rats? And what makes them quite "fearless" around their natural predator?

Several reasons here; the first is that... They used to be friendly. And the death of the rodent combined with hungery carnivorous cat means that it's a posthumous consumption, and *not* a purposeful murder due to hunger.

There are; of course easy ways for a cat to get fed. But in Human society, they're closer to carrion animals, not because they are carrion animals, but because humans learned how to process carrion into an edible form for non-carrion animals.

Mmm. Rat Jerky.

Second, These mice and rats are more likely to be found indoors during inclement weather, for the exact same reason cats are. And since Cats make good predators, AND protection from other threats; a hovel near a cat is the perfect place to hide, even if the cats are aggressive.

Hell, my Aunt has two squirrelsl killing dogs, and the squirrels still hide under her shed where the dogs keep trying to dig them out.

That doesn't make them fearless, it makes them courageous.

As a final note; Tom and Jerry cartoons, despite being cartoons, were based on funny real life observations. Sometimes including observations of the local tom-cat being humiliated by the local mouse population, and sometimes based on political observations.

As such; you should realize that it's not the T.Gondii that makes mice fearless. It's existing.

And also; cats are kinda lazy.

[geminai-ramblez]

Hello! Welcome to my page, this page is dedicated to my creations! Aka, my AUs, drawings, headcanons, etc. I'm not online often on Tumblr, but I have not fully abandoned anything! I'm just very slow.

Some of my AUs contain heavy topics and will be labeled and warned beforehand and if it's not your cup of tea, then I'm a-okay if you click off. I want you to know that looking out at what you consume on the internet is your top priority.

If you have any questions feel free to ask me about my AUs! I like to question the bounds of my creativity.

Finally, to make it clear, this is my main account, my 2ND ACCOUNT will deal with my OCs - original characters - and will be similar to this account, just with my original characters.

Anyway, thank you for reading this introduction, I hope you'll enjoy your stay, and have a fun reading. Well, hopefully. And just have an overall good day or night. Whenever you're reading this. Thank you and bye-bye!

- Gemesis Out! | THEY/IT/SHE |

MASTER LISTS : ➮ 「 1 」 「 2 」 「 3 」

▂ ▃ ▄ ▅ ▆ ▇ █ █ ▇ ▆ ▅ ▄ ▃ ▂▂ ▃ ▄ ▅ ▆ ▇ █ █ ▇ ▆

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

➤ MY HERO ACADEMIA █ MIDORIYA AU'S

꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊

ʚ GOD AU ⟬CALL ME KING⟭ ɞ

There were precautions taken to ensure everything about him was left forgotten. It was for the better that the past stayed in the past, yet times are moving. It's the modern world. Why not implore more about the past of the Sun God? Of the tyrant?

☀�� FIRST THOUGHTS

☀︎ SECOND THOUGHTS PT.2

ʚ HEARTBREAK AU ⟬CRY ME A RIVER⟭ ɞ

He didn't have time to renew his vows; he didn't have time for anything for that matter. He was given a chance, but not a second because if that were the case, they would've known him. At least, the whole of him.

SCENARIOS ⟬ONE-SHOT⟭

⚘ CONTRONYM

ʚ PUPPET AU ⟬ALL THAT MATTERS⟭ ɞ

There was a saying that said it was better to love than to have never loved at all. Which is true, in his mind, that is, that love is a unique emotion. One where it empowers everyone!! Or it just suffocates its host. But, either way! Love is love, no? There isn't just one proper way to categorize such a catalytic fungus!!

꧁ FIRST THOUGHTS

ʚ STRONGEST AU ⟬THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE⟭ ɞ

Instead of watching this through his eyes, we learn of a story about a mother facing the world relatively alone and without anyone to call home. It was meant to be a tragedy in the making, but, one way or another, she was favored by all.

❦ FIRST THOUGHTS

ʚ NAGA AU ⟬THE SENTIMENT⟭ ɞ

Izuku is known as a cold, bitter, and harsh person, befitting with a quirk that many find pitying or downright shameful because, well, snakes have been known to have a bad reputation despite their relatively harmless nature.

♦︎ FIRST THOUGHTS

♦︎ SECOND THOUGHTS

♦︎ THIRD THOUGHTS

♦︎ CHARACTER DYNAMICS PT.1

♦︎ CHARACTER DYNAMICS PT.2

♦︎ THE CLUTCH - MEET THE NAGAS

FUNNY MOMENTS ⟬BLOOPERS⟭

♢ IZUKU AND SHINSO ARE FATHERLESS TOGETHER (UNFORTUNATELY)

♢ FIRST MEETINGS FT. YOSHINARI & IZUKU

♢ IZUKU'S PARENTAL FIGURE CURSE FT. AIZAWA SHŌTA

ART 🎨

🃁 FIRST NAGA - YOSHINARI'S EYES

ʚ KARMATIC AU ⟬UNDERNEATH THE VEIL⟭ ɞ

The story wasn't meant to keep going like this! No! It was meant to be happy and bright and go-lucky! Something to laugh about like a silly little memory... But I suppose things just change, no? Everything changes like a cycle of seasons... Flowing. Without a doubt in time and in mind.

♠︎ FIRST THOUGHTS

ʚ SOUL BREATHING AU ⟬TIMES ANEW⟭ ɞ

When they all woke up in a society where people can have slit eyes, sharp fangs, and nails sharper than normal... Those people—they were still considered people—weren't demons. And it was a shaky transition to comprehend that this world—this superhuman society—is their home. Neither soul could fully shake off the fear crawling underneath their skin, and that was... that was okay!! Hopefully.

♣︎ FIRST THOUGHTS

♣︎ SECOND THOUGHTS

♣︎ THIRD THOUGHTS

SCENARIOS ⟬ONE-SHOTS⟭

♧ WILL YOU UNDERSTAND?

♧ EYES LIKE YOURS ARE HARD TO COME BY FT. YUSHIRO

ʚ MOURNING DOVE AU ⟬A FAR DISTANT MELODY⟭ ɞ

Maybe we can get more than we bargain or maybe we just get shitty luck. Either way, life won't wait for us to move on nor will it wait for us to get it over with. It's our job—the victims—to catch up with the melody of this cruel, dark, and barren world. Or so it seems.

❈ FIRST THOUGHTS

ʚ WIND BROTHER AU ⟬THE TALE OF TWO BROTHERS⟭ ɞ

To a new world, green—purple—eyes watch as the world around them moves on from the tragedy of their stories, of his life. A simple life is what he wanted out of this second chance, but how could he move one? Could he no longer raise a sword and fight again? Well, he couldn't. His hands—these hands—knew how to kill.

SCENARIOS ⟬ONE-SHOTS⟭

𖣘 THE CURSED MARK

ʚ CREATURE OF THE NIGHT AU ⟬OH SYMPATHY...⟭ ɞ

Slit eyes, sharp fangs, and killer claws; he's nothing left but a shell of his former self. There isn't a story to be told here. Oh no, no, no! There's only a warning here, and that warning is for the past that was meant to be forgotten. For good.

＊ FIRST THOUGHTS

ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE ⟬AU OF THE AU⟭

＊ WHAT IF IT WAS REVERSED?

ʚ SUPERIORITY COMPLEX AU ⟬SUPERIOR LEVELS⟭ ɞ

There once was a story about a beauty and her beast. A story that was passed down orally from one family member to another. He knew about the story like the back of his hand, but who would've thought that he would have to repeat the same story again like his ancestors? No wonder his mother couldn't handle it anymore.

SCENARIOS ⟬ONE-SHOTS⟭

ᜊ SINGING UNHOLY W/MIDORIYA FT. SHINSOU & STRESSED OUT FATHER FIGURE PRESENTATIONAL MICHAEL

ʚ XOXO AU ⟬SICK JUSTICE⟭ ɞ

The world can be kind... Albeit rarely, however, it doesn't mean it's all over, right? There's still time for a redo; for hope! Wait... there isn't? But - there had to be! I-I mean... why don't we take it with our own hands instead? Yeah! Why don't we show the world how cruel and kind we can be!

❀ FIRST THOUGHTS

❀ 「REVAMP」 FIRST THOUGHTS

ʚ KILLER JUSTICE AU ⟬UNHINGEDNESS⟭ ɞ

When there isn't enough time to remember the rainbow, red takes over, overbearing it's krew with nothing but red dye. There's nothing left but a white rose in the middle of the puddle covered in crimson hues.

☘︎ FIRST THOUGHTS

FUNNY MOMENTS ⟬BLOOPERS⟭

☘︎ "HE'S NOT A SERIAL KILLER HE JUST NEEDS A THERAPIST"

ʚ ENVY AU ⟬ENVY BABY⟭ ɞ

It can be something so out of the blue like watching a family laughing or observing people actually paying attention to one another, or even seeing parents looking at their kids lovingly! Envy is just an emotion so... out of the blue.

SCENARIOS ⟬ONE-SHOTS⟭

✄ SAY GOODBYE LITTLE LIGHT

ʚ WE'RE DIAMONDS AU ⟬BRIGHTER THAN A DIAMOND⟭ ɞ

The sky can be glittering without your eyes watching, vast and full of many stars. All of which have many sizes and shapes. And yet, we'll never know when one will suddenly just... give out.

STORYTELLING ⟬CHAPTER CATALOG⟭

✦ 「OLD」 PROLOGUE - ❝THE LITTLE BOY COVERED IN GREEN JEWELS❞

✦ 「OLD」 CHAPTER ONE - ❝THE LADY THAT WAS COVERED IN GREEN❞

FUNNY MOMENTS ⟬BLOOPERS⟭

✦ ACCIDENTAL GAMBLING ADDICTION FT. BAKUGOU, MIDORIYA, & SMART MICE

▅ ▄ ▃ ▂▂ ▃ ▄ ▅ ▆ ▇ █ █ ▇ ▆ ▅ ▄ ▃ ▂▂ ▃ ▄ ▅ ▆ ▇ █

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

➤ MY HERO ACADEMIA █ YANDERE DEKUBOWL

꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶

〘☙〙 r o y a l t y v e i n s〘PLATONIC - SHIGARAKI〙

The past was meant to be forgotten for many long and unexplainable reasons, but those who do remember the unsaid stories know only pain and misery... Or perhaps they are left wondering... because certainly, I do not know.

➻ FIRST THOUGHTS

█ ▇ ▆ ▅ ▄ ▃ ▂▂ ▃ ▄ ▅ ▆ ▇ █ █ ▇ ▆ ▅ ▄ ▃ ▂▂ ▃ ▄ ▅

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

➤ RANDOM SCENARIOS W/O AUS █ WITHOUT ORDER

₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥‧₊˚꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶

𖠄 「OLD」 DADMIC WITH HIS NEWLY *TOTALLY NOT* ADOPTED SON

𖠄 「OLD」 KIRIKAMIDEKU SINGING COMPETITION PLATONIC/ROMANTIC

𖠄 「OLD」 SINGING TO GET THE WIN FT. ANGRY PARENTAL FIGURE

𖠄 GENERATION OF BUTTERFLIX -> KUROKO NO BASUKE

█ ▇ ▆ ▅ ▄ ▃ ▂▂ ▃ ▄ ▅ ▆ ▇ █ █ ▇ ▆ ▅ ▄ ▃ ▂▂ ▃ ▄ ▅

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

➤ CREATOR BLOOPERS █ NO ORDER

₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥‧₊˚꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶

⌗ DECISIONS, DECISIONS!

⌗ *INSERT CRYING NOISES*

⌗ 「REBLOG」 MY BOI!

⌗ DEAR SLEEP

✨ You've made it to the end of this master list! ✨

Thank you for your time and I hope you enjoyed my rambles and my general human disaster-y! Again, I'm not often online on Tumblr, but I can promise that I'll never abandon any of my works!

I'm also on different social media so, if I'm not online here it's somewhere else. I'll link them eventually. Thank you once again, and enjoy your time on my page.

P.S. This is the MHA MASTERLIST!

MASTER LISTS : ➮ 「 1 」 「 2 」 「 3 」

[cobwebears]

ask and you shall receive

this is one of my oldest dogs, Liminal. hes pretty average but hes my silly guy <3

fungus. must i say more

fanta who is like if a snake was a dog

scrub who is worse. and i love him for it

we got superb onion who hates you

why he so leg, who is like if a spider was real and also mean to me

this is ulterior motive whos really fucked up cause why he so leg kept bullying him

some what, who is the descendant of why he so leg

and my biblically accurate boy, religion

thank you all for indulging me >:)

thinking bout. wooble dogs

[woolmasterleel]

does demi use his mindcontrolling spore on sophia?

OH so the thing about this...

He tries to initially. When Demi was first made aware of his new form and circumstance (big humanoid structure being contained and prodded by scientist), he was very... suddenly aggressive?? He wasn't sure what was happening so he'd kind of just stare at whatever, if he ever attacked it would be a very sudden thing, he usually only did so when someone got too close. Overtime he realizes that he still has his spores, so he rapidly starts growing mushrooms to comfort himself. Once he gets a hold on his new state, he starts to act more cocky and holier-than-thou, becoming more like the current Demi. This is when he'd start infecting the lab workers, usually to get them to release him.

Of course, Sophia studied the ins and outs of "the Demi fungus" before giving it a means to communicate (and a large form), so she's already aware of any tricks he'll pull. So she's about to get those in her lab that become "brainwashed" to snap out of it before their conditions become too serious.

Sophia then begins to operate on him herself. Many times Demi sneakily direct his pretty little spores toward her, but she just swats them away and, usually, tells him that she will pull the plug on him if he keeps it up. Despite his godly form, he is still currently vulnerable and at the mercy of Sophia. So in some way, he becomes slightly fearful of her.

Now insert all that stuff about Sophia hating Demi, him figuring out how to exist in a much smaller "human" form, him learning about and her work, all that development between the two.

The TLDR answer to this is he did, but doesn't anymore.

I can imagine him making them flutter around to get her to laugh since he can do a silly dance to make it look pretty! Maybe making little mushrooms grow as some odd sign of affection?? Who knows, I want to give Demi's fungus-ness a more creepy twist, but in his home life, I do see him using those for fun things (❁´◡`❁)

ANYWAY I am going to stop myself before I write a whole bible about him or something..

[sargassostories]

Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

Thank you to certified heckstrel @inber for participating in my nonsense and being so giving and lovely and specifically for tagging me to reflect on all the silly, filthy things I’ve forced you all to look at with your eyeballs this year. Behold! My faves:

Heroic Effort, 3.8k, Explicit, Eskel x Succubus. I’m proud of this because I had the idea about two months before I finally did it, but I followed through! And I also think it came out pretty hot AND explored a little character stuff with Eskel.

Wine Aunt Smut Asks, this is fully 30k of ficlets I wrote from various asks I received from March through July! I can’t believe it added up to so many words, especially since many of them are under 1k. Most of them just execute a filthy little concept, but it was a fun playground to start exploring these characters.

ages and ages, 16k, Geraskier => Geraskefer. You can literally watch my understanding of the characters/what interests me about them change chapter-to-chapter! I have no idea if this works as a whole, but I just let myself do some really weird stylistic shit and break rules I set up and do kind of whatever I wanted, which was fun.

Yennskier Fake Marriage AU is just a little headcanon @limerental and I jammed on one morning that upon reflection I actually really love? Also to give a little space for how much I’ve loved making shit up with you guys, on here, on Discords (minus the fungus :/ ). It’s been one of the most amazing, fulfilling creative experiences of my year!

stay in my arms if you dare, my slow-going Geraskefer wip at 13.5k. Again, a concept I decided to do a while ago, and I’m proud that a) I’m still writing it, b) it’s stayed pretty consistent to the original concept and tone across this much time, c) it’s let me keep exploring these characters in ways I love!

Mostly, I’m so grateful to be in a fandom again, and returning to smut specifically helped me heal some trauma in a surprisingly deep way that’s transformed my relationship to myself and my partner. 

But I didn’t expect to find such a wonderful, creative, ridiculous, lovely community out here! And honestly? I didn’t expect to love the source material as much as I have; I didn’t expect to move beyond Netflix and get into the books and games; I didn’t expect the characters to keep intriguing and inspiring me for this long. It’s been the best thing about this year, and it’s because of you guys <3

I am very optionally tagging @reinvent-and-believe, @dinahdarling, @queerfantasycharacter, @some-stars, @goldandlights, @seventfics, and my emhyr anon.

[justletmeplayminecraft]

Okay so this may be a lil dumb but imagine the angst potential that Mumbo leaving the MR wasnt about ‘vaults’ he’s just fed up of Grian using him as a scapegoat that lands him in trouble or kinda humiliates him cause my brain goin brrr with that idea

oh this is absolutely not dumb i love it! especially given how they basically just recruited mumbo as a scapegoat, didn't even give him something to do compared to the latest HEP developments which were in xb's video... i love mumbo taking a more active role in his treatment, finally putting his foot down.

also, wrote a short 1kish ficlet under the cut based on mumbo & cub's meet up. it's basically a sad mumbo and cub comforting him but i thought it was sweet. read it if you wish!

It sounds like a weird thing to say. No, in fact, he knows it's a weird thing to say. Yet, looking around the HEP factory, Mumbo finds himself a little reluctant to leave. He must've spent around an hour with Cub already just talking about the vaults he's built. They're impressive things! From the front door, to a vault inside a vault! Mumbo had so many questions, and Cub answered them with matching enthusiasm. And now it's around the time he knows they should be parting ways but-

"Mumbo?" Cub calls him back to attention, voice soft. It echoes around the empty space of the factory, its brick shell waiting to be filled. Scar really is such a good builder. "Dude, you alright?" Mumbo sighs, turning to Cub when he steps beside him.

"I-" He closes his mouth to rethink what he wants to say. His hands tuck into the pockets of his trousers. He'll fiddle with the cuffs of his sleeves otherwise. Learnt habits. Finally, he gathers the courage to ask, "Do you mind if a vent a little?" Cub tilts his head, dark eyes squinting in concern. Mumbo... Wasn't expecting that. Even when Cub speaks, Mumbo's waiting for an excuse why he doesn't have time.

Instead Cub tells him, "Come and sit down, then." He leads Mumbo to the bed he placed earlier. Mumbo doesn't understand why he feels so surprised. When did he get so used to people pushing him away? He takes a seat on the blue quilt, sinking into the comfortable fabric. Cub places down his ender chest, sitting down there, leaning towards him. "What's up, Mumbo? I know it's been a while since we last talked."  

"I just-" His hands dig into his lap now they don't fit in his pockets. He refuses to fiddle. "I feel like nobody really appreciates me, you know?" Cub's brows lower enough that Mumbo can see them beneath his helmet.

"On the server? 'Cause, you gotta know we love you here. The stuff you build is incredible, man. I wish I could build farms like you." Mumbo smiles, but his heart isn't in it.

"Sometimes it feels like that's all people want me for." He sighs, sinking onto his legs. His suit crumples around him, pulling tight around his chest. As silly as it sounds, it feels like a layer of protection. Him and his suit in this massive factory. Accompanied by Cub's concerned gaze.

"Explain it to me," Cub encourages. There's no judgment in his voice. None of his body language suggests an ulterior motive. Cub wants to listen to his worries. Goodness, why is that so surprising? Why is he so used to people stepping over him?

"I feel like I'm always just- ugh, I don't know how to say this." He tries to connect his thoughts back together. There's no pressure on him, but he still feels an urge to rush as if Cub's patience might run out any second. He tries again, "I always seem to be the butt of jokes nowadays. I mean, the whole mayor thing, for one. And now! I may act oblivious, but I'm not. Not really. They were setting me up to take their fall and I just- is that fair? Is that fair to me?"

"Mumbo," Cub says his name in a tone similar to Xisuma's when he's telling Mumbo to get some rest. "You understand you can say no to these things, right?" Mumbo's breath comes out in a frustrated puff. Fabric bunches between his fingers, trousers misshapen around his legs.

"I do. At least, I think I do." He scrubs a hand over his face, pushing hair back under his helmet. "Maybe I was foolish. But I hoped, maybe this time, I'd actually be involved in things. I could do something. But I don't even think they consider me a member! Just a scapegoat for them!" His hand returns to his lap like it's made of concrete. "Don't get me wrong, I'd do it for the plot. But... I don't think I'd enjoy it."

"Hey, Mumbo." Cub's voice settles him, gentle and reassuring. Mumbo's shoulders sink at the sound. Was he really holding that much tension? "If I've ever done something to pressure you, then I'm really sorry, man. This is supposed to be for fun." Mumbo finds he can't look at Cub anymore, the genuine apology squeezing his heart tight.

"I- You're okay, Cub. You're fine." His lips twitch into a sad smile. "I know these storylines mean a lot for people, I don't blame anyone... I think I'm just tired." Cub's tanned skin comes into his vision, taking Mumbo's pale hand into his own. Mumbo looks up, finding eyes so earnest it takes his breath away.

"You're right that this isn't fair on you." Mumbo doesn't want to admit that he nearly cries at those words, but he very nearly does. How long has he wanted his worries to be validated, now? His feelings acknowledged? "If there's anything I can do to help, please let me know. I can tell the others to tone it down, if you need."

"No, no, they're okay. I don't want to cause problems." Cub looks like he wants to argue, but he doesn't. Mumbo is grateful. There are some problems he's not ready to unpack just yet.

"That's alright. If you ever want to talk to me, let me know, okay? I'll be a willing ear, all plotlines put aside." Mumbo's smile is genuine this time.

"I... I really appreciate that, Cub. Thank you."

Cub squeezes his hand, "It's no problem, man. It's what friends do." Yeah. Friends. Mumbo swallows.

"I should probably be going. I was hoping to plan out some farms tonight." Despite Cub's concern, he helps Mumbo onto his feet.

"You sure?" Mumbo sends that smile in Cub's direction as he flattens out his suit.

"Yeah. I really am grateful for all this, Cub. It means a lot." Cub's smile is just as nice to see.

"I'm glad. Anything I can do to help. I'm just a message away, got it?" Mumbo nods, tapping the communicator in his cufflink.

"Got it. I'll see you around, dude. Thank you, again."

"Not a problem. Was nice talking to you."

Cub doesn't even make a comment about joining HEP as they part ways. They're just two friends. No war, no plotlines. Mumbo breathes in the grass outside the factory, closing his eyes against the bright sun. It's a beautiful day. He likes the crunch of grass under his shoes, how he can't smell the ever-present fungus from the shopping district.

Yeah. He's got some things to think about.

[luvnhugsgt]

G/T: Almost a Garden Gnome: Chapter 3

***As told by Eddie “The Man” Edwards (stupid parents who thought they were funny)***

I don’t really know what to say or do. I hope asking if the little mystery human was alright didn’t cause any lasting trauma? I didn’t know I was such a scary guy! Take a look at me standing next to my buddies, and you’ll find that I actually have a noticeably slighter frame than they do. I’ve never been the biggest, toughest dude in the crowd, and I’m cool with that, I think. That’s how it’s always been, you know? I’m sinewy, light and lean. It runs in my family.

Considering my self-image, I’ve always had some sort of cognitive dissonance about hanging out around the little human folk. I’m not sure why, but I’m kind of… afraid of them? Uncomfortable?

When I look down at my feet, bending my neck at a near ninety-degree angle and squinting my eyes just to see somebody, it hurts—well, my neck—and my eyes—and my self-esteem. Am I truly a big-lug, taking up way too much space and sounding like a hurricane, just because of my race, something I’ll never be able to reconcile with the littles?

To be around Little Lady, then, as you may have deduced, while she’s ostensibly cute (I can hardly see her face, so maybe I’m just an optimist), freaks me out, big time.

Should I, then, take a good, hard look at myself in the mirror, and say ten times, “Humans are friends”? Should I shut the door and keep her out of my house for the sake of my mental health? Should I get someone to scare her awa-no, wait, that’s horrible!

I guess, just maybe, I could leave out something for her to eat, then promptly go back inside. I certainly don’t mind her munching on my strawberries, even though I holler at the damn squirrels for doing the very same thing. But I think something’s wrong with the squirrels here—they have an attitude problem! They chatter at me and they shoo me away after I shoo them! Ah, but if I dodge this tiny woman, I’ll also have to avoid my garden; my only hobby!

You’d be surprised—I show off my garden to everyone, even ~lady friends~, and everyone digs it, or at least they seem to humor me. Aw man, I love my garden! If I abandon the garden, (I named it Steve), where will all my bragging rights come from? Oh, I ooze masculinity, guys.

Unless it doesn’t matter if I attract the Bel Parine 'Babes anymore—unless—u-unless I swing a full 180 and fall in lo-

Um-fall for a cute h-

Ahhh. Let’s not push our luck here, yeah?

How do Bels usually deal with bum-humans squatting in their backyard, anyhow? Yes, this one’s endearing—‘guess I’m lucky—but what if—I mean, this is pretty shallow, but—what if she were a crusty old man with a grating voice from years of drinking and smoking? A bit of a yikes from me, dog. Maybe I should see the ‘silver lining’ in this situation…

Oop! The phone’s going—“Hiya Grandma, what’s doin’?”

“Eddie, I was passing the nursery on Main Street this morning on my way to pick up my prescriptions, and I saw the most beautiful sunflowers. Oh, to tell you the truth, I didn’t even know they were in season, yet! And of course, I bought you two pots, because I know how you adore your garden—” she pauses, “what’s that you’re calling it now—Steve? Oh, you silly goose! But you’re my silly goose, you handsome young ma-“

“Grandma, oh thank you, I love ya ‘a million,” I explain, “but, about the garden… I do have something to ask of you.”

“Oh? I’m sure I can help. I’ve got lots of books with all the different flowers, loads of detailed, colorful pictures, all kinds of guid-“

“N-no, Grandma, it’s a different kind of issue. Do you…uh…know anything about humans?”

Her tone changes, “Humans, huh?”

“In your garden?” I add.

“…Lucky you!” She chirps; I can easily visualize Grandma beaming on the other side of the line. “Oh, do you have a homeless human on your hands?” She sighs. “Well, that’s not very good. We’ve got to do something. First thing’s first—let’s attract him. I hear humans like honey water. I read it on the web. There are so many wonderful things on the ‘line’.”

I sigh, knowing now that I’ve boxed myself in. I’ll have to face my fear. Why’d I get on this crazy ride? My grandma, she’s got the opposite issue, though she’s got scant self-awareness. She doesn’t seem to realize that the way she fawns over those ‘cute, cuddly’ humans, makes them seem uncomfortably similar to animals. It comes off as, I don’t know, condescending? I know I’ve got no stake in this narrative, but it grates on me for some reason or another. I’ve not been very exposed to humans in my twenty-nine-and-some-months years of life, but even I can understand how to respect the othersiders.

“Eddie, this is the best news I’ve had from you in weeks!”

“What?! What about my Impatiens?” I frown. “You know how hard it is grow those badboys ever since they were wiped out by the—what is it, fungus?” I mused absentmindedly, distracting myself from the trainwreck that’ll most surely ensue after this phone call.

“Oh, wait—wait—after the Impatiens!”

I pout. “Okaay, Grandma, I get your vibe. I gots’ta’ go catch my show, I’ll chat with you later…?” I speak rapidly, looking to flee as soon as I can.

“Great! Love you, Eddieboy! Enjoy your show. I’ll see you tomorrow morning at ten!”

“Grandma, wait a second!” I panic, but it’s too late. She’s already hung up, and I’m reeling here, almost in tears as I draw closer and closer to facing this phobia—yeah, I’ll acknowledge it as a phobia—for real, after all those sheltered, trepidatious years…

Agh! I run my hand through my hair melodramatically. What the hell do I do here! What say you, reader, ol’ buddy ol’ pal?

Jeez, next you’ll tell me you’re a human, too! Haha!

[punishandenslavesuckers]

Caduceus Clay is a just a little strange and maybe he’s a little high? Jester and Caduceus have a conversation about the meaningfulness of first-times. And maybe have a first time at something. Tooth-rotting fluff and Jester figuring a few things out. Cad thinks it’s great. (AO3)

It takes her a little bit of effort to get into the crow’s nest, but she’s starting to worry that Caduceus hasn’t come back down in a while and maybe he fell asleep super high up. Which is bad. She hikes up her skirts a little, knotting them a little against her thigh and lashing her tail around the lot so it’s bunched up while she goes up the ladder to the uppermost part of the ship. She enters through the small hole in the floor of the wooden bucket-like space and peers around. She smells something herbal burning pleasantly. There’s a small stone censer and a small ember of pressed incense smoking gently on the floor. Caduceus is sitting with his back to the curve of the low barrier wall, his staff leaning against his shoulder, one knee drawn up, the other folded against the floor. His arm is draped over his knee and there’s a bit of something – a mushroom? Some fruit? – held lightly between his fingers.

He’s peering curiously at her, one long, fuzzy ear flipped up as though he was listening to her approach to the top.

For a moment, when he looks at her the dim light from the moon catches strange in his eyes – not like it does in Nott’s eyes, which refract the light like a cat in the dark, but a low-lit glow. Dimly pink, like a muted lantern light through drawn blinds at a distance. Then he blinks and its gone. He smiles a little at her, lopsidedly.

“Heey,” he rumbles. “How’re you, Jester?”

Jester takes that as invitation and scrambles up into the nest with him, whispering loudly, “You’ve been up here a long time. What are you doing? Are you praying? What is the Wildmother saying? The Traveler says that the Wild Mother is preeeeetty nice as far as other gods go. Not as cool as the Traveler you know, but – Oh.” She covers her mouth with two hands. “Did I interrupt?”

Caduceus is kind of shaking his head, a dim, befuddled non-comprehension on his pale face.

“I can go. Sorry if I interrupted your god-talk,” she whispers.

“Nah, I’m done doin’ what I was doin’.” He pats the wood beside him. “You can sit if you like. It’s a little chilly up here though.”

“Are you cold?”

He shakes his head, a warm little smile on his face he does. “I dunno. I can’t really feel it right now.” He pauses halfway through tucking a pale wave of pink hair behind his ear, frowning. “Oh. Wait.” He looks at her as she sits cross-legged beside him. “Is it actually cold?”

“No.”

“Oh.” He smiles again. “That’s nice.”

“Caduuuuceus. Are you hiiigh?”

He glances at the mushroom-fruit thing in his hand, then at her. “Maybe a little.”

“Are you okay? Do you want water? I have water.”

“Heh. Thank you, but I’m coming down. Don’t worry.”

“What were you doing?”

“Asking a question.”

“What question?”

“A good one, I think.” He puts the bit of mushroom away in a pouch at his hip. “This is good stuff. I thought it might be good. It smelled right.” He chuckles a little, a low tone that goes so deep Jester can feel the bass of it in her chest. “Sorry, this kind of things mutes a lot of other stuff for me. Feels weird.” He wrinkles his nose in a way that reminds her absurdly of a bunny rabbit. “Good though. Very easy going.”

Jester pokes Caduceus carefully. “Are you like drunk?”

“No. Of course not. Drunk was not a good feeling.”

Jester studies her firbolg teammate closely. He seems to feel her doing it because he flips the ear nearest her a little bit and glances sidelong in her direction. The moon’s high up enough and bright enough that it puts a faint silvery sheen across the fine gray down that lays across Cad’s face and neck, the places where it runs thinnest. She knows exclusively from hugging him a few times that it’s very, very velvety soft and almost not there. She also knows from hugging him and that one time he buried his face in her arm that the strange pad of pink rhinarium that tips his nose is a little rough and dry. Like a cat.

“Are you thinking of petting me?” Caduceus chuckles.

“What?! No! Can I?” Jester immediately realizes that last question she said out loud and also maybe Caduceus is reading her thoughts. “Ah! Shit! I mean, that would be rude.”

Caduceus just laughs again, low and slow and very eventual.

“It’s okay. I told Fjord it was okay and he got very embarrassed about it.” He kind of points at his own head and makes a loop-dee-loo with his finger. “People don’t see a lot of firbolgs. I never thought about that. Everyone I ever met was, like, expecting a firbolg. People say such weird things. Oh. A blacksmith told me I was fuzzy. Did I tell you that? Is that weird? I didn’t think it was weird at the time but Beau says I don’t pay attention sometimes and people are ‘creepy’.” He does finger quotes in a way that says he saw someone else do it and he’s guessing at how to use them correctly. “Anyway, I didn’t mind. Hugs are nice.”

Jester untangles her tail from her skirts and floofing them back out the way she likes.

Then she leans over and gives Caduceus a hug. He’s very tall and very solid despite being proportionally rather skinny, something about his build dense all the way through in a way that makes her remember that firbolg are giant-folk as well as fey. Caduceus hugs her back and squeezes a little before she settles in leaning against his shoulder a little, her tail looping naturally around their tucked feet. He’s very warm and smells rather not at all like seawater. She suspects he has a cantrip for cleaning up a bit, but no matter what he kind of smells like it smells if you stick your face in an old cushion – like something kind of dusty and a little old but with just a little bit of, like, that smell after rain falls.

“Caduceus, do you think I smell nice?”

Cad tilts his head at her.

“You said Caleb smelled better than fine. Is that because you like the smell of dirt?” She twiddles her fingers together a little, talking loudly to air overhead in generally. “That’s fine if you do, I don’t caaare or anything Caleb is kind of stinky. Do you like stinky things? You like fungus and stuff and you smell like dirt kinda. In a nice way! Do the rest of us smell weird to you? Because if I smelled bad, I would want someone to tell me I –”

“You smell fine.” Caduceus chuckles.

“Really? Are you just being nice?”

“I try to be nice. Sure. But I do mean it.”

“What do I smell like? Do I smell like ocean? I think that smells a little weird actually. Like I feel sticky after swimming in the ocean…”

Caduceus considers this. “Huh. Let me see.”

Then he leans over a little and puts his face against her hair. He does it with so little warning, she can’t stop him. She can feel his breath and the shape of his nose and mouth against her ear when he exhales then inhales, disturbing where her hair lies. She goes very, very still. Her heart is suddenly going a little fast and she holds her own breath. Cad inhales again, kind of nuzzling a little to shift her hair, which tickles so she giggles before he sits back against the wall again.

“It’s weird. You always smell like far away,” he says, kind of sleepy as he thinks on it “Like… like flowers that don’t grow here. Or anywhere. People should smell like where they are, you know? And you do, mostly, but also…” He yawns and it’s a big yawn, suddenly inhumanly big, like a big cat yawning before his face kind of comes back together normally again, sleepy and familiar. “You smell like stuff that’s not here. It’s very weird. I’d love to know how you do that.”

Jester pokes Caduceus’ shoulder a little. “Are you going to sleep up here?”

“Hmm, maybe a little?”

“I can stay if you want.”

“That would be nice, but only if you’d like.”

Jester scoots in a little closer and loops her arms around Caduceus again, leaning on him, careful not to poke him in the chest with her horns. For all his sleepy affectations, he doesn’t drift off though. He loops an arm around her shoulders and kind of leans his chin against the top of her head. It feels very nice and cozy. Caduceus left his armor somewhere, so its just that soft white tunic thing he wears, the one with the weird sleeves and she finds herself fiddling with the fabric a little. Then fiddling with a stray loop of long pink firbolg mane where it lays over his shoulder against his chest. It’s quite like that for a while. And oddly warm in the small cradle of the crows nest.

“Caduceus?”

“Mmm?”

“Are you still high?”

“Heh. No. Just a little… humming a bit. That’s all.”

“Okay. Good. Can I ask you a touchy question?”

“Ooh. What’s a ‘touchy’ question?”

“Have you ever kissed anyone before?”

He thinks about it. “Well, sure.”

“No, I mean like kiss-kiss. Like someone you like.” She rolls her eyes. “Like romaaaantically, Caduceus. Not like you kissed your little sister goodnight or something. Which is super cute! But not what I’m talking about.”

“Oh.” He shrugs. “No. I haven’t. Why?”

“Nott says first kisses can be, like, important.” She huffs. “But my mama said also that making a big deal out of it can be, like, silly. Because what if your first kiss happens by accident and was, like, maybe, not a real first kiss? Or it was weird?” She flaps her hand for emphasis. “And if you make a big deal out of it, then you get all worked up for nothing? You know?”

“I do not know.”

“Oh right. Well, I feel like I kissed someone and it was, like, a little disappointing and like maybe not a real first kiss. And I’m feeling a little weird about it maybe? But I don’t have anything to compare it to. You know?”

“No.” She can hear him smiling as he says it. “I don’t have any idea.”

“Oh right.”

Caduceus kind of laughs again, that low sound that vibrates in her chest.

“I think doing something just once makes it bigger in your mind than it maybe should be. More meaningful than it has right to be. Which can be nice, but also stressful.” He pats her shoulder a little. “Once you’ve done it a few more times, I’m sure you won’t feel so odd about it. I don’t… have any personal experience, but I feel like that’s a very small thing in the grand scheme of a relationship. And, really, the odds of having a weird first kiss are much higher than having a good one.” He chuckles. “You’re doing it for the first time, after all.”

Jester considers this for a long moment.

“Shit. That makes a lot of sense, Caduceus. Wow. Duuh.”

“Does it?” He sounds pleased. “Oh good. That’s great.”

“You’re really smart about this for someone who doesn’t know anything about, like, sex and kissing and stuff.”

“I don’t know about that, but I’m glad it helped.”

Jester leans back a little so she can turn and look at Caduceus in the face. The smoke from the incense is coiling in the air over his head, catching moonlight in slow ribbons of silver. The creak of ropes and the aching groan of the wood around them seems strangely loud. Like there’s a fog of noises to mask their conversation when, in fact, Jester is pretty sure voices carry a bit on the water. Jester squints at him. Cad doesn’t see very well in the dark, she knows, but the moon is very bright tonight and he tips his head again, like he’s waiting for whatever she’s going to do next and very curious about it.

Jester points between them. “Could I kiss you?”

Cad blinks. “To practice?”

“Yeah! And, like, because I think you are super pretty, but also, I’ve kissed someone at least once. So odds are higher now that your first kiss will be nicer because I have experience.” She preens a little, but mostly to hide the fact her heart’s going a little fast. “You want to?”

He thinks about it. “I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about that.”

“We don’t have to kiss, Caduceus. I’m just saying.” She brushes her hair off her shoulder, tossing her head very showily. “I am very cute and smell nice and have kissed one other whole person. That’s prrretty good.”

Caduceus chuckles and kind of… looks at her. It’s a different look than before, like he hadn’t been focusing at all and it’s only just now, in the wake of her question and her statement that he’s really studying the whole of her presentation and again her heart gets a little fast. She has to stop herself gulping a little. Caduceus’ eyes are weirdly visible in this low light – the pale rose color almost luminous as he looks at her. She can’t really read his face just this… neutral, friendly curiousness.

He sits back.

“Okay. Sure.”

Jester gasps and claps her hands a little. “Okay! You’re sure?”

He shrugs. “Well, you made such a good argument.”

“Okay, okay.” She sits up straighter, tucking her knees under her where she sits facing her teammate. She can tell he’s amused, but that makes it easier for some reason. She floofs her skirts a little, primly. “Ready?”

Cad chuckles again. “Yeah. Go for it.”

Jester ignores the weird fluttery buzz of nervousness, a sudden thrum of it living under her palms and in her ribs. She leans forward carefully, sitting up on her knees alittle because Caduceus is tall even sitting like he is against the wall and not really helping her close the distance. Again, for some reason that makes it easier – simpler that he’s just kind of waiting expectedly for her do what she’s doing. She places her left hand against the wood over his shoulder, right beside his head and feels it like a brush of butterfly wings when his ear twitches a little, touching her forearm for a second.

Her weight safely braced, Jester leans a little closer, maintaining a determined eye contact.

Caduceus doesn’t seem alarmed by this, just watching her with rapt attention, eyes scanning her face and glancing toward her right hand when she brings it up a little between them. She does not go fast, waiting to see if he spooks at all. This close, she can see every little thing – that he straightens up just a little, that his expression relaxes very slightly, and he almost says something, but lets the word rest on his tongue and stay there, parting his lips just a little. Her curled fingers make gentle contact along the line of his jaw, following the soft line of his cheekbone back to the place where his jaw meets the soft deer-like shape of his ear.

Her fingers curl a little into a thickness of pink hair, tucking a little at the nape of his neck and spreading slightly along the base of his skull. Yes. That seems right. She holds his gaze except to glance down when she feels the warm heat of his breath. She angles her head a little, so her nose doesn’t bump his, and uses her hand at the nape of his neck to tug him forward just a little. Guiding. She feels him inhale a little shakily and she stops.  

“Okay?” she whispers, so close to him she thinks her lips brush his.

“Okay,” he murmurs.

The bass in the syllables hum in her throat even before she closes that tiny distance and presses her mouth carefully to his. He’s warm. His mouth is soft against hers, tickling a little where his upper lip converges into the rougher texture of his nose. Her fingers sink a little deeper into the tangled silk at the back of Clay’s head, an instinct curling her nails just a little against the back of his skull. When she does it, Cad makes a kind of… humming sound. Almost curious and surprised. She does it again, just enough to pull his hair a little, and feels him smile against her mouth. She giggles, breaking immediately. Then the only thing to do seems to kiss him three times, rapidly, until he’s laughing against her lips and they pull apart.

“How was that?” Jester beams, fixing Caduceus’ hair a bit and sitting back on her heels.

“Nice,” says Caduceus. “Weird.” He’s smiling fondly at her. “I liked it.”

“Good first time?” Jester says, excited.

“Yeah. Definitely.”

She punches the air with two fists. “Oh my gosh! I am the best!”

Caduceus immediately busts up laughing, a little louder and longer than he might otherwise allow if he weren’t so relaxed and sleepy-like. He folds both arms across his middle and smiles at her. “You shouldn’t worry about kissing. It doesn’t seem like that big of a deal. It’s nice, but probably not worth stressing over.” His smile deepens. “Thank you though. I get to say my first kiss was a really good one. How about that?”

“How about that?” Jester enthuses.

“You feel better?”

“So much better. Do you feel okay?”

“Very okay." Caduceus gestures. "Want to sit together for a bit then head down? I probably shouldn’t sleep up here.”

“No, yeah, you probably shouldn’t. Actually, don’t do drugs in high places, Caduceus. That’s pretty dumb.”

“Oh. Yeah, good point.”

They settle in together and wait for the incense to burn down.

[dean-bluesteel-winchester-spnfam]

Shareable questions. All of them.

👽   Do you believe in aliens?Not in the aliens everybody else seems to believe in with UFO’s and all that crap.

👽👽   If so, what do you think they look like?They look like normal people, because... you know what. Ask Cas. He is practically an alien.

🤡   Do you have any phobias?Yeah. Snakes? Ugh. Spiders? Ugh!! Planes? UGH. (But it’s so funny the emoji for this one is clown. Perfect for Sammy.)

💀   What is your favourite thing to do?I... I have no idea. Maybe watching western movies with Cas? I never thought about this before, because normally there is just stuff that I have to do. Kissing Cas is for sure in my top 3 as well.

☕   Name the tastiest hot beverage.Ugh, you can’t tell anyone but I enjoy hot vanilla milk. I mean coffee. It’s totally just plain coffee.

🥛   Name the tastiest cold beverage.Beer.

😇   What do you believe is your most angelic quality?ANGELIC QUALITY. I don’t have one. Seriously, I don’t think I can ever be somthing as angelic.

👹   What do you believe is your most devilish quality?That I don’t wait to pull my trigger. I killed people before. Hell, I torture monsters all the time. I’m not any better than them.

🧜‍♀️   If you could be any mythical creature, what would you be and why?Mythical, well most of them are actually real, but whatever. ( Normally I’d say angel? But you know, not really worthy - so lets go with a monster.)I think being a mermaid would be cool? All day in the water, the other hot merpeople. Yeah I think that would be nice.

😻   Describe the sweetest moment you have had with a pet.The sweetest. When I was like 16 we stopped in a small town for a hunt. It took Dad almost 6 weeks to find the vampire, so Sammy and I had to go to school there. It was horrible. While Sammy of course had lots of friends, I didn’t. I skipped a lot of classes and waited outside for Sammy and there was the cute little dog living with an old man right next to the school. I petted him every time I waited and he ... was so happy to see me everyday.Sometimes I would even share my breakfast with him or walk with him, when his owner was too tired. God this was ages ago, but I was heartbroken, when we left that town.So never getting a pet again. Hurts just like hell, when they leave.

🌎   What is your most far-fetched ‘bucket list’ item?I don’t think there is one? Nothing is really far-fetched in my life. But I’d like to have a swimming pool.

🤔   Describe the most influential person in your life.Well he is not really from this world, but he always fights for the things he loved. He was born as a solider, but learned what it means to have a free will and there is no one else, who loves this unconditional.

🤯   Do you have a mental illness?Pretty sure, yeah. PTSD definitely. Maybe depression, too. I have panic attacks at night (when nobody sees them). Anxiety and stuff. I got it all.

🦄   If you could shape-shift into an animal at any time, what would it be and why?Huh, great question. Maybe a dog, I kinda was one before and it was kinda fun you know. Have an owner and all, must be nice.

🍣   Are you a sushi connoisseur?No ew. Why would I eat sushi when I can have burgers?

🤓   Do you consider yourself a nerd?Mhh. While I do call Sam and Cas a nerd all the time, I can admit that MAYBE I’m one too. Probably more of geek, but whatever. Maybe it already makes me a nerd saying that.

📆   Have you set goals for your life? Or are you just living life in the moment?I do have set goals, but I feel like I have to just live my life, since I could easily die any day. So maybe that are just wishes and not really goals. I take the days as it comes.

📆📆   If you have made goals, name a few.Wishes. They are wishes. I would love to be married (so close!!) and would like to have a big family one day. Get some kids, get some nieces and nephews. Maybe get all my friends back. Imagine Bobby babysitting my kids or Charlie teaching them how to cheat in games.

📆📆📆   If you’re living life in the moment, explain away.Ugh I explained it above. Hunter = big chance of dying. Again.

🤩   Name a famous celebrity you dream of meeting.I wish I could meet Led Zeppelin.

🌙   Are you a moon or sun person?Sun probably, but I do love them moon as well.

🚀   If you could travel back in time to any era, where would it be?I wish I would’ve gotten this question years back, because then I would’ve said, when the Cowboys were still a big thing. But honestly? That was just a big disappointment. I didn’t like the whiskey, I looked stupid and people hated me there. So no traveling back, thank you.

🚀🚀   What kind of life would you want in this era?Well I just wished it would’ve been as awesome as I always thought. Me being the cool sherriff and getting hot chicks. (Or Cas, but lets be honest. They’d kill us)

🦕   Do you wish dinosaurs existed in our modern world?Holy shit YES.

🦕🦕   If so, would you want a dino pet?  Name the kind.I would love a dino pet!! Uhm... give me a triceratops.

🎃   Name your favourite holiday.I hate them all, but christmas was nice, when Mom was still alive.

😊   What do you believe is your most redeeming quality?That I never give up?

😴   Do you get enough sleep?No. Normally I get my four - five hours and I always say that’s fine, but it’s not. Seriously I wish I could sleep more. But you know, nightmares, hunting and all that crap. Maybe I should start with naps again.

🏈   Are you a sport enthusiast?Yes! While I hate to move my own ass, I love sports. Wrestling is amazing. (and yes that counts).

🦂   Describe your best friend.Oh easy. Big blue eyes, dark wild hair. Tilts his head way too often and can’t wink properly. Smiles so rare but so beautiful. Wants to help everyone and loves the nature. Has the biggest heart and gets hurt too often.

🥑   Fruits or veggies?Fruits.

🤞   If you could snap your fingers like Thanos from The Avengers, what would you make happen?Tha. Bring Iron Man back? No uhm, I’d kill every monster on earth. Make it peaceful.

😎   Do you consider yourself a cool kid or a total square?I wish I was a cool kid.

🍭   Do you have a sweet tooth?Yeah! Nothing better than some chocolate or pie, but it’s not as bad as Gabriel’s.

🏥   Do hospitals freak you out?Not really. I mean I don’t like them, but I’m so often in one, it kinda gets boring.

🍕   What’s the best pizza topping?Meatlover.

🧘‍♀️   When was the last time you did something just for you?Can’t remember.

🎣   Have you ever been fishing?Yeah a lot. Dad took me already when I was a kid.

👶   Do you want to have children someday?Yes. As soon as we are ready.

🥔   Name your favourite form of the potato.There is no favorite. I love them all.

🌵   Do you have a green thumb?Not at all. Glad Cas has.

🐩   If you have one, name your dream dog(s).Small ones... that don’t remember me of hellhounds?

🍂   Winter, spring, summer or fall?Summer and spring. I hate hunting in the winter or fall, but then again it gives me an excuse to hide into even more flannels.

🐳   Does the ocean freak you out or entice you?Entice me.

🐚   Ever been scuba-diving or deep-sea fishing?Nope! but Scuba-diving sounds amazing.

📸   Do you take a lot of photos?Ehhh I never really did, because why would I? Now I take pictures of Cas or Sam all the time. They hate it.

🎵   Name your three favourite artists/bands.Led Zeppelin, Motorhead, Metallica.

🎵🎵   What about your three favourite genres?Rock, Rock and Rock.

🎸   Can you play an instrument(s)?Never had the time, but I would love to play the guitar.

🔬   What was the best class in high school?P.E. I wanted to be a cheerleader, but couldn’t for obvious reasons.

🔬🔬   What about the worst class?Every other class. I was bad at everything.

🕹   Name the video game you have wasted the most time playing.Never played one.

🕹🕹   Name your favourite video game.I don’t think I even know one.

🔪   Do you have an interest in serial killers or do they just freak you out?Ohh Sammy boy has some real interest about serial killers! Holy shit. I don’t care mostly.

🦗   Do bugs give you the heebie-jeebies?Yes. God there was one time Sammy and I were caged in with a milliion of bugs and NOPE. Never again.

🎱   Confess the last wish you made on a magic 8 ball.Please let Cas love me back.

😑   Describe the most annoying thing ever.I’m so easily annoyed. You ever hunted some asshole ghost completely wet because he threw you into a pool? Fucking annoying to walk back to Baby for three miles in wet clothes. But also small things, when nobody listens to you. When there is a mess in my kitchen. When people assume stuff without knowing me.

☺   Describe the greatest thing ever.Waking up late and cuddling more into the warm sheets, while Cas tightens his arms around me. I love to pretend to be still asleep, just to see what he does.

🏠   Growing up, how was your home life?It was hell. I was practically an adult at the age of six. I mean I love Sammy more than myself (which is not hard btw) and I would take care of him anytime, but I never had... friends or fun and all that jazz.

😜   Are you silly or serious?Silly. But I can be serious if needed.

🥩   Steaks: Well-done, medium-rare, or still mooing?Medium-rare. But lets be honest, I eat every kind.

🍄   In your opinion, are mushrooms tasty little morsels or just a dirty fungus?Ew. I wouldn’t know, I don’t eat that stuff.

🥑   Best way to eat an avocado?To not eat it. :)

⛪   Are you spiritual?Haha, I have no idea how to answer that one.

⛪🕌   If so, describe your beliefs.Well?!?! I obviously believe in everything.

🍔   Burgers or dogs?Does that question imply, people eating dogs is a normal thing? Burgers.

😤   Describe something that gets under your skin.Unfairness.

🧟‍♀️   Do you think the world will end in zombies?Apparently it does, because that is just what happened.

🐉   Is there a dragon you chase?Yes.

🥞   In your personal opinion, should food be free to everyone?YES. Seriously.

🐍   What animal are you scared of, if any?Spiders and snakes. @anangelamuse-castiel-spnfam