#thank you for all these points though it really made me think

[where-does-the-heart-lie]

More Doki Doki Battle Academy OP AU

even MOOROEEE of themmmmmahhhhhhh babyeyyy i even added some dialogues fir some extra flavourrrrr (kuma and bonney's gif there would be a sprite he would have in his dialogue scenes. i dont think it would be a gif like this, more like everytime you look back at him, bonney would be in a different spot)

original DDBA designs post (has more lore there, go look at it plese :3

imagining the vinsmoke/strawhat beef going like this video

design stuffs and more lore:

preface: sorry this is so much writing and im not going to grammar check it cuz aint no body got time for that.

The world of this au is like pokemon with different gyms you can fight through and beat, there's a big league of pro fighters, and there are schools for teaching you to be a better fighter.

One of the schools is called the Germa 66 Private Battle Academy, it goes from grades 1-12 and its where the Vinsmoke siblings all went too (at least until sanji broke off from the family at some point) and its run by Judge Vinsmoke, their father.

i am thinking that the Vinsmoke kids would still be genetically modified and Kuma would be a cyborg in this too.

design stuffs:

Ichiji: i tried to make him as punk as he would feasably get away with living under his father's rule. Big "combat" boots, fingerless gloves, black undershirt. He likes his style and would probably go all out if he didnt have to conform to his school uniform, thus i put a little heart on his boots.

Niji: i also made him like his style. The rings on his fingers, his nikes shoes, his big headphones. Like a gamer who thinks this is what fashion is. I think he would love listening to music too so i put his heart on his headphones.

Yonji: big stakly guy. Hes a lot more hands-on than his brothers so i put lots of emphasis on that area. i put his heart on his hand wraps because i think he would really love fighting. I think that Yonji is most like his father in that enjoyment, but i think Judge wouldnt like how casual Yonji's style is.

Reiju: y2k queen. I love this design on her so much im so bummed that she would have already graduated from the academy and i cant put her in a Hit Me Baby One More Time-esque uniform outfit, shed fucking KILL THAT SHITTT. Anyway though, reiju's heart is subtle yet in plain view, the locket around her neck. i dont think she would let anyone look at the contents but i do think that absolutly it would be her mother on one side and her brothers on the other. She wouldnt like people looking at it because that would mean someone could see that her dad isnt in there and she would get it a lot of trouble with her father about it.

Power ranger fits: i made them full on power rangers. its what they deserve. Since reiju has a butterfly motif in canon, i thought it would be fun to also give her brothers a bug motif of their own. ichiji is a wasp, niji is a dragonfly, yonji is a stag beetle. If sanji stuck around, hed probably be a lady bug lol. Also the masks they wear, the eye window part, it’s like tear tracks coming out but in a way that doesnt look like thats what they are. But it’s meant to show how judge forcing his children to be these people is causing them pain.

thank you @zethsdumpster for being my Vinsmoke specialist and helping me come up with a lot of their design stuff!

Doflamingo: i tried to make him a Nasty Nasty man. Like if a used car salesman made it big. Like if Macklemore was MackleMORE. i love the idea that he likes to tan himself, but he doesnt take any of his clothes off to do so, so he just has the absolute craziest tan lines ever. i put his hearts on the gold chain around his neck, he loves his wealth but not much else. i love the idea of him having two very expensive watches on each wrist. there may be more watches up his sleeve too. i also gave him fluffy dice around his neck, like he's one of the cars that he's selling.

Rosinante: i couldnt get away much longer without putting the heart man into the heart 'game'. i couldve went off more with the hearts of his design but i didnt want him to become nearly as flashy as his brother. i wanted him to be understated and fade into the background when doflamingo is around. he is dead in this au btw sorry :/ this is his design when he passed, but doffy's design is present day him. anyway, Rosi's hearts are everywhere, its in the outline of his big huggable fluffy coat, its on his hat thats pulling him down, it would be on his shirt too if it wasnt covered by his coat in this image.

Bonney: SHEEES SO CUUTEEEE AAAAAAAA i love her. I based her design off of Avril Lavigne with her iconic necktie/tanktop/baggy pants looks. i tried to make her outfit look like she could feasibly fit in it when she ages herself up, especially her big ol shoes. the heart in her design is in her neck tie. The stereotypical visage of a dad is a man in a tie who goes to work, and she loves her dad, so her heart is in her dad tie.

Kuma: I didn't change much of him from his design in canon, but since bonney would be more in his life in this version, i wanted to give him more visual indicators of her being there. like the height chart on his leg, or the fuzzy hat she crocheted for him (she also made her own hat for herself). Also, the pattern on his shirt is one that looks like a paw, but if you took off that outer layer, if the pattern continued, the design would be a sun, and i just think that was really clever ehe ehe.

Hancock: Basically i tried to make her the baddest bitch in the universe. My program crashed like 3 times making her which is so funny. Procreate couldnt handle her. I based her design off of Medusa. at first i had her snake be made out of marble, but it eventually wound up at Obsidian. She has no visible hearts on her design and thats because it would be the scar on her back, which she tries to hide. i like the idea that this very visibly revealing outfit would be perfectly tailored and reinforced to never move a single inch to let anyone see what theyre not supposed to. I dont know how i would justify her being able to turn people into stone in this AU, so im just not going to make a decision on whether or not she can do that.

ive been working on these designs off and on ever since i made the first post on this au and im real happy i can finally put more out.

if you got to the end of this, thank you so much for reading~ i hope you enjoyed :)

[puppy4vi]

Jealous Caitlyn and Reader :3

not writing for vi feels wrong lol but it was 3 am and I had a vision ^.^

cw: sexual themes but not super explicit (maybe part two will just be smut if u guys like it..) possessive / toxic Caitlyn, blegh proofreading

Caitlyn doesn’t like seeing you talk to other women, whether it’s to be friendly or not. She doesn’t see a point in you talking to others - she always gives you the attention you deserve, spoils you to your hearts content, and makes sure you are happy, so why do you need other women?

She wanted to be a good girlfriend, treating you to dine at a fancy restaurant as a reward for being so good for her lately. you’re usually on your best behavior for her, it’s the most you can do for your girlfriend who spoils you rotten - though, when one of the waitresses start showing slight interest in you - it causes Caitlyn to raise an eyebrow.

Caitlyn’s hand slides up your thigh at the booth the waitress seated you two in , she lightly taps your inner thigh to get your attention.

She whispers into your ear;

“Did you see how she was looking at you?”

You laugh and roll your eyes. You knew Caitlyn was the jealous type, but you felt like she was over-exaggerating this situation in particular. “Caitlyn, she works here. Do you want her to be rude to m-“ Caitlyn was quick to cut you off.

“I never said that, I just think it’s unnecessary to start a conversation with you when I’m right here. I’m more than capable to answer her myself.”

You just slightly shake your head at her words, which caused her to groan in annoyance. She didn’t like when you didn’t listen to her, especially when she knew she was right (and she always was).

“We’ll see who’s right later on.” Caitlyn whispered into your ear - lightly squeezing your thigh before pulling away. Even though you thought her jealousy was unjustified, you can’t help but feel a slight attraction towards it. The way she wasn’t afraid to tell you what’s on her mind and was so certain to stake her claim onto you made you flustered.

The waitress from earlier returns with refreshments. Before you could say thank you, Caitlyn made sure to cut you off before you could even muster a word. She thanked the waitress in a monotone voice, trying to get her to leave as quick as possible to have you to herself.

Caitlyn spots the waitress slightly ogling you before she left their table, and it just made her eye twitch. She wanted to leave the restaurant right now - to mark you up just to bring you back here - to flaunt her marks she freshly made on you to everyone who works here, but she already drove all the way here. Mind as well get food before you and her even plan on leaving officially.

Caitlyn eyes your short frame as you drink your beverage. She loved how much smaller you were than her, how easy it was to mark you up whenever she wanted. She wished she could get her mind out of the gutter, but when she thinks of any woman ogling you, she can’t help but admire what she makes sure they’ll forever miss out on.

The waitress came back shortly to take their main course order. You clear you throat before speaking;

“ Can I have the-“

“Honey, just whisper your order to me. I’ll say it for you.”

You were going to complain, you really were- but her forceful smile kind of intimidated you (and turnt you on), so you obeyed her command, and she spoke to the waitress afterwards.

“We’ll have the cooked black cod with lobster ravioli please. Apologies for the possible confusion earlier.”

the waitress nods as she writes the order down and smiles

“oh don’t worry if I had cute girl like her around, I’d be a bit protective too” the waitress giggles as she looked at you. It seemed more like playful banter to you if anything -

But oh, did Caitlyn like that. Caitlyn’s blood was practically boiling at the sight of this girl trying to steal you away from her. She wasn’t going to have it. She was about to bad mouth the waitress, though you (thankfully) cut her off.

“Thank you, that’ll be all” you gave the waitress a soft smile before she left the table, but that just made Caitlyn more infuriated. She couldn’t stand this anymore, or just witness this happen without doing anything to her, or you.

“I’m going to have a talk with her” Caitlyn didn’t even eye you as she gets ready to walk over, you grabbed her arm with both of your hands. You didn’t underestimate her strength - she could push you off of her with ease, but you had to try something.

“Caitlyn don’t do anything stupid”

“Everything I do is far from that.”

“Please.”

Caitlyn turnt her head to look at you - pleading for her to not do anything irrational. The mixture of jealousy and arousal running through her body was almost unbearable- she shrugged and leaned down to whisper in your ear.

“Either I go and take care of that waitress that clearly has a thing for you, or drag you out of this restaurant and have my way with you? Which one will it be?”

Your eyes widen at Caitlyn’s words. You knew how strong Caitlyn was - and how dedicated she is when she’s set on something which can end up ugly. You nod your head yes.

“Okay”

She tries to hold in the grin that’s threatening to slip out onto her face;

“Okay, what? You have to be more specific”

You look up at her. Your doe eyes captivating her as you finally say the words she’s been wanting to hear ;

“I’ll let you have your way with me”

She doesn’t waste any time after that, grabbing you by the arm - making sure to dig her nails into you to leave a mark for later. Caitlyn drags you out of the restaurant and takes you into her car. Once you two get in - she doesn’t bother to talk to you at all - just ready to take you home and play with your body for hours. The car ride is filled with silence and unspoken tension.

Once you two arrive to your shared home - Caitlyn turns to sustain eye contact with you, telling you it’s time to get out of this car before she doesn’t even bother walking into that house.

You both get out of the car and Caitlyn walks over to grab your wrist - leaving her signature painful grip as always. She drags you through the house and straight into her spacious bedroom. Caitlyn doesn’t even bother to close her door and starts to play with the edge of your skirt with one hand, and unbuckling her belt with the other.

“You liked the attention she was giving you, huh? You like seeing me get like this”

“Caitlyn no- I-“

“Save it.”

She successfully takes her belt off and bends you over her legs - sitting on the bed as she pulls your tiny skirt up.

“Gonna bruise your body up so no one will be able to look at you without seeing my mark.”

She teasingly rubs the belt against your butt. You can’t help but shiver at the cold metal against you. She tauntingly laughs at you.

“Should I spank you until you cry, princess?”

[bisexualbrainrots]

Return the Favor

did it just write angst in fluffebuary? yes yes I did, but it's all because of this gifset that compelled me to.

cw: major character injury, vomit, blood.

“Guess I finally got to return the favor, huh?”

Howie smiled at him, one of those smiles that turned him into the brightest light in the room, and grabbed harder at his shoulder as they managed to walk towards an exit point of the building. Howie laughed softly, a healing sound that would normally make him smile too.

But right now all Tommy could focus on was the amount of blood that adorned his friend’s (Could he still call him friend?) face. 

Lines that had rolled down the left side of his face, mixing with the dirt and grime. Thankfully, they had discarded anything more serious than a scalp laceration, but it was still worrying.

Tommy will always worry about Howie, no matter what.

“Took you long enough, I was beginning to think we’d always be in debt,” a small cough left his throat after he chuckled, which made Tommy stop dead in his tracks “I’m okay, we probably inhaled a ton of dust in there.”

Everything started at a factory. A fire that quickly turned into a second alarm that called for multiple stations, the 118 and 217 included. Tommy guessed it was luck that picked him for ground work that shift, but Howie would probably say it was fate.

He hopes it wasn’t, because otherwise Tommy couldn’t understand why fate would collapse a story that was clear and bring both of them down, making them fight for their lives.

Fate was confusing.

Tommy sighed and they continued their walk towards safety, the roaring sounds of firefighters signaling where to find them.

“Hey, Tommy… thank you.”

Howie looked at him with a fondness he thought would never reappear, which made Tommy get a funny feeling in his chest. He really didn’t want to start crying in front of Howie.

“I know it was… wrong of me to drop you after Buck—”

“You didn’t drop me Howie, you… you did what any friend would do.”

Howie shook his head, leaning in to get a closer look at Tommy’s face “You were my friend too, Tommy. Still are,” he held the hand that was resting on his waist, giving it a squeeze “I just hope you can forgive me for that.”

He took a deep breath, or as deep as he could when he was holding Howie “You don’t have to apologize for anything, after all—” Tommy’s smile widened as he took in the view of familiar faces, minus one he found out wasn’t in the state anymore, and bumped his hip with Howie to get his attention, pointing with his head “Would you look at that, seems like someone was looking for you.”

He should’ve guessed they’d be in the front lines. Tommy wonders how many protocols and orders the 118 disobeyed to get to them. It must’ve been a ton, but he guessed they didn’t give a damn.

“We’ll always look for each other.”

Tommy loved that about them.

He let go of Howie the closer they got to the rest, and patted him on the shoulder before giving him a gentle push towards the awaited reunion. Tommy stood as his friend was being pulled into a warm embrace by Bobby, Hen and… Evan. They were all so happy, he could even spot tears in Bobby’s eyes that threatened to come out.

They were all reunited again, as they were meant to be. Tommy watched from a distance, a tired but big smile on his face that rejoiced on the family he once had, the family he could've had.

He supposed it was good he was out of the picture, after all, he never truly felt like he belonged anywhere.

Okay, that was a lie, he did belong to a place and to a person, he was just too scared to let Evan belong to him.

He held his hands on his knees, chest heaving, feeling more tired thanks to the adrenaline finally running its course. His chest expanded as much as he could, lungs begging for air he tried to get in as best as they let him.

He could hear his heart in his ears, though he supposed it had to do with the fact that Evan was looking at him, a faint smile on his lips.

A smile that faded as soon as Tommy threw up and fell on his knees.

“T-tommy!”

This is normal, it's just the adrenaline fading, you're okay. You're okay.

He was in fact, not okay. 

Tommy wanted to rest so bad, to lay on the ground and take a nap, but his former family around him made it harder for him to let go. 

“Tommy, Tommy c'mon look at me, What hurts?”

He didn't even notice the grunts, his ears feeling like he had cotton stuffed in them, unable to listen to anything other than his rapid heartbeat and labored breathing. 

He tried, though, the best he could despite the fact that even speaking had become a hardship, “My stomach…” he didn't mention the fact that it had been hurting since he woke up after the collapse, he didn't even mention to Howie that rubble had fallen on him when they fell.

They laid him on the ground, Hen hurried to open his turnouts and Howie did a quick assessment of his injuries. He wanted to get them off him, tell them there was no reason to panic yet, that they had to focus on Howie. But if breathing was already complicated, talking wasn't much better. 

A warm pair of hands held one of his and he turned his head, finding Evan and his even warmer smile that any other day would've made him melt. But the fear in his eyes was making it harder.

He wanted to lean closer, to caress his cheek and tell him everything was going to be okay.

That was the idea, until Hen pulled his shirt upwards and everyone seemed to stop breathing at once, Evan's hold tightening.

Bobby barked instructions at someone, saying something about immediate assistance and getting them an ambulance ASAP.

“W-what…” he tried to look and exhaled when he saw his belly. From what he could see, a purple and red puddle had formed on his abdomen, which made sense why it hurt so much “Oh… right, the rubble.”

Howie turned his face to him, the same panic Evan had in his eyes “You had… Tommy, why didn't you tell me?”

He smiled faintly, tired, way too tired “You have… people, Howie… I, I couldn't let you die.”

Howie's eyes glistened, his brows pulled together as he blinked rapidly and got to work, putting on a pair of gloves (When did he get the gloves?) and palpated the area, getting an immediate wince and hiss in response.

“You have people too,” he heard Evan mutter, his head ducked.

Tommy gave him a weak smile. Evan was so sweet, even when he didn’t deserve that from him anymore.

He stroked his hand with his thumb, pretending for one second that Evan’s words were true. Their eyes met, and Tommy gulped when he noticed his ex had begun to tear up. He hated to be the reason behind his tears, regardless of the situation he had found himself in.

“I’ve got a collar,” he heard Hen shout (When had she left?) and in less than 5 seconds the thing was wrapped around his neck, and he huffed in frustration to the restraint he felt because of it.

“This is… stupid… I don’t need—”

“Will you just let us help? Tommy rubble fell on you, you are not okay,” Evan’s exasperated tone made him shrink. An overwhelming wave of emotions rushed through him, which probably showed on his face given the quick way in which Evan’s expression softened “Sorry, sorry it’s just… let us help, please.”

Despite priding himself on the way he would help others without giving it a second thought, he had never been good at accepting help. Even with something so obvious as getting a cold, where help has to practically be forced onto him. With Evan though, he could never say no, his stubborn ass never giving up a fight to help him.

He took a breath and supposed there was nothing he could do, not when Evan was involved “... Okay.” He nodded slowly, his eyes fluttering shut as he felt his body being transported into something, probably a gurney.

He was way too tired to care.

“... hey, hey, open your eyes Tommy,” Howie’s voice brought him back long enough to get a feel of the gurney he was resting in. It was softer than he thought, or maybe the sleepiness was making him sink into it better. Whatever was the case, he was comfortable.

“Bu’ ‘m sleepy” he frowned. God he felt like a child again, being woken up by his mother on a school day.

He just wanted 5 more minutes.

“You’ll get to sleep once the doctors have checked you out, baby.”

Tommy perked up at the pet name. He looked for him and found those perfect blue eyes staring at him, his lips turned upwards in an attempt of a smile to give to Evan.

He was enchanted by those eyes. The way all of his attention was on them the first time they got to have a minute to talk alone. He wanted to swim in them, swim in that ocean of sweetness and craziness that called him in. He forgot he didn’t know how to swim though, not until he was sinking down and fearing that he had fallen without a lifesaver.

He supposed that was it, fear. Fear that constantly pulled him into a self-preservation mode, fear that made him sabotage every good thing he ever had, fear that made him unable to tell Evan that he loves him.

Shit, he loves him.

“Baby…” he called out, looking for his hand as they pulled him into the ambulance.

“I’m still here Tommy, I’m always here,” the strong grip of Evan’s hand on his was comforting, just like the movement of the ambulance that rocked him like a baby.

He was feeling cold though.

Tommy took a deep breath and looked at Evan, “I need… to tell you… that I—” whatever words he was meant to say were not there anymore, a sudden stop in his consciousness that had him closing his eyes and closing himself to the world.

The last thing he heard was Howie saying something about their debt. 

Maybe fate wanted this, as payback for the strip mall. Maybe this is how it was meant to be. Maybe he was always supposed to die with Howie by his side.

Fate didn’t count on the fact that Evan Buckley, his Evan, would be put by his side too. Didn't count on the fact that he would never bend to its will. It didn’t count on the fact that he was probably on top of him performing CPR by now, not that Tommy was aware of it anymore.

Damn it, he cursed out at fate, Why didn’t you let me say it?

Though he supposed it was fine, at least he wasn’t going through this alone.

He did hope they’d manage to save him on time.

Evan still owed him that beer.

[rookinthecrownest]

🖊️ + the oc closest to your heart via dragon age (the one you always go back to)

Oh! This was a bit of a tough one anon, but I have to say, Madeleina takes it <3 Let me explain why under the cut, and under this little doodle of Mads and Lucanis I whipped up in like 15 min (excuse the ... everything)

Ok so why is Madeleina so special to me - well, I consider all my DA OC's special to me bc this game has been a huge part of my life - literally for over a decade now - but I digress, she's special to me for a few reasons.

Not gonna lie chat, this year has been one of the hardest year's of my life. The release of DATV, which I'd been waiting for since Inquisition finished up with tresspasser (like many of you), was something I was really looking forward to. And I NEEDED. In many ways, this game saved me.

She was the first Rook. The first one I took with me on this crazy journey. And as I played the game and romanced Lucanis for the first time - I dunno, I can't explain how much of a chokehold Madeleina and Rookanis had on me.

I initially made this blog just to keep up to date with DATV release news, but they made me want to post my art and my writing. And I'd never really tried to write fanfic before, but I started writing the Bedtime Stories for a Demon fic, where Madeleina and Lucanis fall in love over stories from all over Thedas (fairy tales that I adapted for the DA setting). And I had so much fun with it! As I wrote it I fell more and more in love with the character and the pairing.

I can only speak for myself but I think a lot of ppl would agree that Rookanis is a great ship because of like...how soft and tender and loving it is, and how it's the little things they do for each other that's the focus. The understanding, the comfort. Not that we haven't had that in other DA romances but Lucanis' romance hits different? It's just like, so sweet, I want to cry. They're SOOO important to me it's almost silly.

They fall in love over fairy tales but their love story is the greatest fairy tale that will ever be told.

The Charming Rogue and the Hapless Hero!

To focus more on Madeleina herself for a bit, she's also important to me because she's kind of an amalgamation of a few different disney/fairy tale princesses. She has Cinderella's optimism, Rapunzel's quick wits and humour (and long hair!!), Ariel's curiosity and thirst for knowledge. With my other DA OC's, I've made them more... gritty. More suited to a dark fantasy setting. So Madeleina is important to me because she's so relentlessly positive and loving and kind and genuine, like the princesses I grew up watching. They were a source of comfort for me when I was young and going through tough times, like Mads has been a source of comfort for me as a grown up.

I've always been a lover of stories, and I think hers and Lucanis' is my favourite story in all of fiction.

Anyway, I'll stop rambling (even though the point of these asks was to gush/ramble haha).

Thank you for the ask anon!

[theotherrookie]

"Oh, he was so mad. He sent an angry letter not long after, you know. Unfortunately, I burned it and nothing came of it anyway."

"And I cherish the knowledge of father rotting away in a trap forever as we speak." Lucien added, then smiled at Russell's words, "Thank you."

"Yeah! Screw bad parents." Erica made her way back and plopped down next to Travis to watch Smokey, "You should see him when I'm working out. I had to bring some of his toys to the gym because he kept jumping on the treadmill with me."

Smokey enjoyed being included in whatever she was doing no matter what it was. Vandalizing a seat would keep him entertained for a while. The Twins could keep on glaring at her all they wanted.

Though their attitude seemed to falter slightly when they heard Willow laughing like that. They really dodged a bullet there.

"Sure-"

"-Just keep Skynet away from us."

The two briefly eyed Rook, before they moved just that bit closer to Russell. They normally wouldn't give up that sort of information. But after catching up with Ratchet for a bit, they were suddenly feeling in a rather chatty mood.

"Well, Five made us go see this guy who sells silver bullets."

"If you think that trick at the cinema was bad, wait until Crosshair gets to use them."

It was clear that they had some consideration for their colleague, even if they were giving her away now.

"We thought that was a waste of money-"

"-but maybe you made a bigger impression on Five than he cares to admit, big guy." Tommy added, pointing at Bill.

"Oh, those really hurt." Erica said, "We'll have to watch out."

"That's exactly it." Rook confirmed, "The funny thing is that everybody told him not to buy the whole thing. But he wanted that to be my office, you know. He thought that saying 'pretty please' would finally get me to work for him."

"Fathers can be persistent like that." Lucien said, giving a solemn nod.

"But we got away, uh?" Rook replied. Lucien nodded in return and the two fist bumped.

Smokey meowed softly, happy with the scritches. In fact, he was so happy he started making biscuits, much to the dismay of the Twins.

"Yes, you can kill us. So could anybody with a gun-"

"-or a particularly dedicated duck."

"What did you do to the car?" they added.

The two crossed their arms, not caring about Bill's, nor Erica's threats. It was no secret that they were quite jealous of their chosen ride. But that aside, they needed it to work and they definitely didn't want to sit on scratched seats.

"I think we hit them where it hurts." Erica pointed at the very hostile looks on the mercs' faces, "Yeah. Be nice and maybe you'll get it back."

She didn't care to hear what the two had to say about it. The elf's ears perked up as Ratchet screamed once again. While that was a common occurrence by now, it was followed by Willow's distant laughing.

"They're having fun." Erica made her way to the board and drew a small square on the bottom right corner so they could start a third count, "Hey, why don't we ask these guys about their friends' powers and stuff? It could be useful."

It wasn't like the Twins had anything better to do.

[cloversnstrawberries]

I really loved the platonic RE yandere you posted, would you mind writing a continuation of the Wesker part? xoxo

platonic!yandere!albert wesker & S.T.A.R.S!gn!reader [oneshot] ! !

masterlist ! [this is a continuation of this post !]

description; Honestly, why were you here? Why you? Why was it, out of everyone on the now defunct S.T.A.R.S team, you who caught his attention like you had? And why is he acting like this is normal?

additional notes; hello!!! i'm so glad you like it so much!! it was my first time doing multi-HCs, and i think it came out really well all things considered :)) i haven't really gotten the hang of HC format fully though, so i ended up doing a oneshot for this </3

but thank you so much for requesting a continuation!! i was more than happy to do it :)) i also tried a new style(?) of description, but i don't know if i'll stick with it or not </3

warnings; Drugging, hospital/medical setting, Wesker's god complex, mention of the other S.T.A.R.S members and their fates, imprisonment, captivity, general terror and confusion, Reader is very suspicious of Wesker's reasonings (he's not helping it at all), possessiveness, soft(ish) Albert Wesker, and if there's anymore i missed, please let me know!! :D my writing seems to leave my mind the moment i put it down...

w/c; 4.1k

How could it end like this? How could you let this happen?

You're trained. Maybe not as much as your other team members-- but you went through school for this, and you could've sworn you were just getting the hang of it all.

But then again, maybe there was nothing you could've done. Even if you were as experienced as everyone else-- hell, if you had more experience than everyone combined, it'd probably turn out the same regardless.

You trusted him-- they trusted him, just for him to lead them all like lambs to the slaughter;

He spared you, though. Why? What the hell is he up to?

That phone call you'd been eavesdropping on-- at the time, you couldn't make heads or tails of it. But now, oh... now you understand it perfectly.

S.T.A.R.S was never what it claimed to be, but out of everyone, only Wesker was aware of that. Not even Marini, because lord knows if he knew what was actually going on, he wouldn't have had any part in it.

Did any of them survive? Wesker made it sound like there was no chance anyone could've made it out alive. Apparently, he hadn't made it out alive--

He claims to have died, but to have come back better; reborn as something truer than what he had been.

God... how did you not see this coming? Again, you were trained! You... you were supposed to be able to spot these kinds of things. Maybe you'd been too blindly trusting, after all, he was your captain.

If you couldn't trust anyone else, you should've been able to trust him. That's how it's supposed to be. Only for him to turn around and stab you all in the back.

Even if he didn't send you out there. Even if you were the one exception, his companion (whatever that entailed), that couldn't mean much. Not to a man like him, who uses people as stepping stones. Who used your co-workers, your friends, as just rungs in a ladder; as he sought to achieve godhood.

He's different, now. He says he'd died-- and you don't quite doubt that fact. Maybe you should, but his... his eyes. His eyes gave you pause, as you tried to discredit his claim of being revived.

They were like a snakes-- no, a dragons, actually. You don't think snakes can have that sort of coloring naturally, the central heterochromatic yellow around his pupils, and the bright, jarring red the rest of his pupils held.

Sometimes, they almost glowed. The way he moved now wasn't human. Nothing about him was-- but not all of that could be attributed to his strange, unexplainable (from your point of view, at least) metamorphosis.

In theory, he was still so human. He had the same face-- his bone structure hadn't changed, god no. The only physical attribute that tangibly changed had been his eyes, and maybe his teeth and nails being a little sharper.

But something about him was monstrous, beyond those traits. Maybe it was the knowledge of what he'd done, or the fear spawned out of uncertainty. Uncertainty of what he has planned for you, that makes him seem so otherworldly beyond the obvious.

Why you? Why, out of everyone, did he spare you? It couldn't have anything to do with your age-- he'd mentioned no sort of exception made for Rebecca, who was only 18. Safe to say, he didn't have any qualms about leading a literal teenager to her untimely death,

And maybe you could argue that it was his higherups-- or whoever that Birkin he was seemingly talking to on the phone-- that forced his hand and made him 'euthanize' S.T.A.R.S.

He talked about them like they were animals, and not people with hopes, dreams-- families. Reasons to live outside of their jobs, reasons they were important.

Like they were lab rats, he'd indirectly referred to them as much during the phone call. So what did that make you?

When you were young, you had a neighbor who owned a snake. You don't remember what kind exactly, but it was a very sweet little thing. You wouldn't think a snake could be cuddly until you met that little sucker-- but in the end, it was still a snake.

It still needed to eat; most of the time, your neighbor would feed it frozen mice. But the snake would get bored, and if it got too bored then it'd refuse to eat until something caught it's fancy;

And in those cases, your neighbor would get live feeder mice. One of them, the runt of the litter-- had tugged on his heartstrings, one that seemed more intent on snuggling into his head more than trying to flee.

He kept it, and named it Sunflower. Sunny for short; and kept that little feeder mouse around as long as it could last-- and it even went past the expected age for a domesticated mouse. Much less a runt feeder.

Is that what you are? A feeder mouse that somehow managed to squeeze your way into whatever was left of Wesker's heart, one that snuggled up so sweetly-- that he couldn't help but to keep you, while he threw the rest of your brethren into the hungry snake’s enclosure.

Dinner and a show, your neighbor had dubbed it to try and make it seem less gruesome. If anything, it made the action worse in your little mind-- to add such an unassuming title to the practice.

You just can't wrap your head around it, how Wesker could give up so many people-- people he knew personally, that he'd actively sought out for their positions,

But that he seemed to draw the line when it came to you. That for some reason, he decided he wanted to keep you.

He visits you often, but not too much. You have no way of telling the time or date, or even an approximate of how long you've been here. You're set up in this strange sort of... half hospital room, half normal bedroom. It sort of looked like your bedroom back home-- your childhood one, but not to the point were you'd assume Wesker broke in and took a look around.

No, it just... looks like a normal bedroom, not necessarily childish, but not necessarily full adult. There was a dresser, a desk, nightstand, and a clothes rack-- an empty one, sure, but it was still there regardless.

That didn't make much sense to you, considering there seems to be a closet right next to the empty rack; but if you've learned one thing, it's hat you have no hope of trying to figure out why Wesker does the things he does.

And then, there was the bed. It was your average, run-of-the-mill hospital bed, complete with the ability to adjust the incline, bars at the side, and places for medical equipment to be threaded through or attached in some manner.

There was a stool next to your bed, and a metal rolling cart that Wesker usually pushed just out of your reach when he wasn't actively in the room. Like he was taunting you-- he probably was, actually. Just another thing to rub your own helplessness in your face.

Honestly, you wish you could explore the room. It wasn't large, but it wasn't small; you'd probably find very little, sure, but it'd still be something.

Instead, you were handcuffed to the metal bar of the hospital bed. As if you were a particularly high-risk patient, and not a completely healthy person that Wesker fucking kidnapped and hooked up to an IV, pumping god-knows-what in your system.

It didn't make you out of it, but you weren't exactly fully aware right now. Not physically, anyways-- you could hardly muster enough energy to turn onto your side, so safe to say that's the intention of whatever fluid is the IV bag hanging by your bedside.

And while it didn't necessarily make you out of it-- you could still think perfectly fine--, it did dull your senses a little bit. Made you more susceptible to being snuck up on,

"Good morning, dear heart." Honestly, it surprised you that you had enough energy to jolt a Wesker's sudden appearance-- you swung your head around so fast that your vision went bleary for a few seconds, before inexplicably clearing up.

"Is it really morning, or is it just another one of your lies?" This had become a routine of yours-- questioning every little thing he said. Everything he does, everything he says, could be (and most likely was) in an attempt to trip you up further.

Wesker has yet to be annoyed by this, and that worries you. It worries how... kind he's appearing to be. Yes, he's still stern, and grabs you a little too roughly when you try to resist whatever medication or food he's trying to give you--

But that's nothing compared to hell he put the rest of S.T.A.R.S through, from what you could piece together from little context clues here and there-- and the tiny tidbits of information he seems to let slip on accident.

He sat on the stool next to your bed, letting out a breathy laugh "Do you really think I'd lie about something soinconsequential?" You deadpanned, and immediately shot back with a monotone "Yes."

Again, he laughed. He always did this-- always had some sort of fondness held in his eyes, a softness to his smile that you didn't think he was capable of, especially now. He's acting as if this just another day, as if this is normal.

Like this is life or death for you, like you aren't in the den of a viper-- acting like a caring, nurturing figure to its prey. You know better, though. You know better than to believe it, that he won't turn around and eat you whole once you've served whatever hidden purpose he has for you.

"Well," He began, as he leaned over and pulled that metal rolling cart by his side. As he busied himself with preparing the blood pressure cuff (god knows why he's so insistent on doing this every visit-- like you were actually sick and in need of his care, and not like he was actively pumping drugs in your system to make you sluggish and lethargic for his own gain), he continued his thought.

"Despite what you seem to think, I don't particularly enjoy lying. Especially not to you, dear heart." You had half a mind to jerk your arm away when he reached out, but you knew from previous experience he just wouldn't care. He'd just grab you regardless-- be a little rougher with it. It didn't accomplish anything, fighting him like this.

...But it was the only conceivable way you could fight back right now, and that infuriates you. You like to think that, if you weren't cuffed to the bed with an IV stuck in your arm, you'd be able to take him down.

As if he took those precautions to protect himself from you, and not to protect you from yourself-- or keep you from trying to make a break for it the first chance you get. He knew you were clever, he'd said as much himself.

Oddly enough, Wesker had this strange habit of always complimenting you; usually, it was in relation to himself-- saying you were smart, but too kind for your own good. That your relation to him blinded you, made you overlook any and all red flags until it was too late to do anything about it.

But sometimes, he'd just... compliment you. No apparent backhandedness about it. Sometimes, he reminded you of a proud dad, welcoming home his kid after they got all A's in school.

It was disturbing, to say the very least.

After a few moments, you finally respond with a curt "Whatever helps you sleep at night.", Because you don't believe him for even a second. You wish you could yell at him, that you could berate him over everything he's done-- but with the drugs making you less articulate than before, and the fact that he could just kill you right then and there-- or at least cause you grievous bodily harm--, you decide against that.

For a moment, you could've sworn you saw genuine emotion cross his face-- but it was gone so fast, that you seriously question if your brain just made it up. That even after all he's done, your brain still tries to grasp at straws that he cares for you. That he cares for you as a person, and not what you can do for him.

...Whatever that might be, which has yet to be seen by anything but Wesker himself.

Wesker took a deep breath, a habit you used to think fondly of; because it meant he was actively putting an effort into not snapping at something, and he was downright terrifying when he got angry-- or even just irritated.

Now, it just makes your body tense. Back straight, muscles wound up-- like a hare ready to bolt. He seems to realize this, but doesn't seem to process what caused it. Instead of moving back, because it was so obviously him that was bringing out this primal sort of fear in you--

He just leaned closer. Thankfully, he didn't reach out to touch you or anything-- but he was still closer.

...Then you realize he was just opening a new bottle of disinfectant-- obviously, you hadn't gone down without a fight, no matter how futile it was. Maybe this was your brain trying to humanize the monster before you-- but if you didn't know any better, you'd say he felt guilty for causing your injuries.

Even if they weren't that serious; he treated them like they were the end of the world, when you knew you've sustained much worse from much less then a god-like being trying to capture you.

Hell, one time you got a concussion from falling off a spinning chair in high-school! (admittedly, that was not your best idea-- but it got the job done! you'd fixed the loose ceiling tile that'd been bugging for three weeks straight!) You'll be fine--!

But for some Godforsaken reason, Wesker seems to think your more fragile than a porcelain doll; and a not trained S.T.A.R.S operative (though, you weren't very experienced, that didn't negate the fact that you had the formal training, and passed all the tests).

For now, you let him play doctor. You tried your best to suppress a hard flinch when he leaned forward, and started tending to the cuts and scrapes littering your face and arms-- for some reason, he thought it'd been a good idea to toss you through a fucking window--

...Albeit, the window had been in the first floor lobby of your mediocre apartment-- and it did very well to slow you down from escaping, but still. Why would he do that? You were lucky to get away with what little injuries you had from the action--

Sometimes, a scary, downright existentsial fear inducing thought crossed you mind. That maybe, just maybe he genuinely hadn't meant to do that. He just didn't know his own strength-- didn't know how easy it was to toss your around like a ragdoll, now that he was... whatever he was now.

You didn't realize how quiet it'd gotten, only the faint whir of the medical equipment and occasional sound of shifting clothes or something being picked up-- until Wesker spoke again, startling you out of your downward spiral of thought.

"Is there anything you'd like?" That was... unexpected. Very out of the blue-- and at first, you thought it had to be some kind of test. Like he was trying to trick you.

Cautiously, you needled him for further explanation with a simple, straight-to-the-point "...What?"

Very well-spoken, you were-- but who could blame you, with whatever cocktail of sedatives and (entirely unnecessary, in your opinion) painkillers working through your system right now?

A faint, almost soft, smile graced his face-- as he, unhelpfully, just repeated what he'd said before. "Is there anything you'd like, dearheart?"

Your brows furrowed, as you searched his face for any clue on what the actual hell he was getting at.

Surprisingly, he let you think it through. Didn't rush you, and didn't seem to be getting impatient. You, however, did not want to push that limit, and ultimately just gave and asked "What do you mean? Like... meds?"

Predictably, Wesker laughed-- unpredictably, at least from your point of view, he leaned forward and fucking-- ruffled your hair?

Seriously, did his supposed death and rebirth cross some wires or what? What was going on??

"No, but I don't fault you for thinking that." You grimaced, his hand staying firmly on your head for a few more seconds, before he pulled back-- and you thanked whatever was out there for finally helping you out here, but that thankfulness was quickly dashed when he grabbed a hold of your hand.

It reminded you of when you caught pneumonia as a child, probably around 5 or 6. Your mom sat by your side the whole time, holding your hand just as Wesker was right now.

You wanted so badly to smack it away and yell at him, demand that he leave you alone and just stop acting like he cared--!

"Anything at all, a favorite food, a book, something to keep you busy,"

You should know better then to interrupt him, but you can't help it. It was a stupid idea, the whole thing-- but you had to try. That's all you can do right now, is try whatever you can--

"I want to be let go." Immediately, there was a very... noticeable shift in the energy of the room. No longer was it a tentative calm,

Now it was so stifling that it felt hard to breathe, as Wesker stared-- you're pretty sure, again, his eyes are covered as always-- you down, making you squirm.

His hold on your hand tightened, and you swore you could feel the bones in it creak and shift under the pressure of it.

Right before you were sure your hand would simply cave-- just give in under the pressure, Wesker loosened his grip.

Just enough where you were not longer worried about the immediate shattering of your bones-- it still wasn't comfortable, physically and emotionally speaking.

"There's nothing out there for you, dearheart." The strange sort of monotone aspect of his voice should've tipped you off, should've had the alarm bells in your head ringing louder than an emergency siren-- screaming at you to don't you dare try to push it! don't be dumb!

Evidently, you weren't paying any attention to that. It was like sleeping soundly through a tornado warning--

But hey, might as well start calling your Dorothy, huh?

"I don't care." Foolishly, you tried to pull your hand from his. Obviously, he didn't budge-- but it was a good sign that he didn't tighten his grip any further.

...Mostly because it would absolutely cause some serious damage if he did, and you're sure he was well aware of that fact.

"I don't want to be here anymore. I had a life outside of S.T.A.R.S, outside of you, and you can't just keep me in this room forever--!"

You don't think you've ever seen him so angry before. It caught you completely off guard, how open the emotion on his face was. How tensely he held himself,

"I wasn't planning on doing so! I'd let you roam once you're better, and I know you won't try anything stupid." There was... so much unbridled rage in his tone, that you felt like your heart might give out right then and there.

He'd never raised his voice at you before.

But you were too far in-- this was your chance, with him so worked up; you might be able to get some real answers out of him now.

"Why are you doing this?!" You sat up, trying in vain to yank your hand from his grip again-- surprisingly, he let you do so. But as you came to realize, it wasn't because of your efforts;

He stood, turning his back to you and headed over to the closet-- that was... unprecedented. You didn't know what was in there, and it only made you panic further.

Grasping at straws now, you tried to poke at his supposed admiration of you-- rushing out a quick "What's so special about me, huh? That you go through-- through all of--"

You didn't fault yourself for stumbling over the words, you were still drugged, and it was impressive as hell that you were able to be this coherent as it was.

That, to give credit where credit is due, got his attention. He was halfway through opening the closet-- and for a second there, when he stopped moving for just a second, you really thought he was going to answer you.

Shame on you, for thinking any part of this hellish experience would work in your favor-- because after that momentary pause, he went along his merry way without another hiccup.

Your heart was going a mile a minute, and you leaned over the side of the bed and strained your neck, trying to get a view inside the closet and--

Huh.

Despite your previous assumption, it wasn't so much a closet for clothes, as it was a... supply closet. Like ones you'd usually find in hallways, filled with cleaning supplies and miscellaneous home goods that didn't have anywhere else to go.

But instead of some strongly lemon scented spray cleaner and a dustpan-- there was some more medical supplies. Name bloodwork things, syringes, vials of god knows what;

And Wesker sure as hell wasn't reaching for the bloodwork stuff.

"Please, just-- just answer me!" Desperate saturated your tone, and you begged for a straight answer-- this was all so confusing. Why? Seriously, why you, why now-- why like this?

You couldn't see what he doing for a while, but when he turned, you realized the syringe was filled with something. While it didn't look particularly suspicious-- just a clear liquid in a run-of-the-mill syringe, you knew that not everything was as it seems.

In a last ditch effort of escaping whatever it was Wesker had planned, you threw the white hospital blanket off your legs and stood; you were cuffed, you knew very well you couldn't do jackshit--

But you weren't thinking very clearly, obviously.

To his credit, Wesker didn't really reprimand you for standing. Usually, he'd get a little 'worried' (thinly veiled annoyance, in your opinion) and get you to lay back down,

This time, he just grabbed you. Didn't try and get you back on the bed-- you struggled, God knows you struggled best you could;

In the end, it all amounted to nothing. Like you knew it would.

And yet, you still tried to fight the inevitable.

You felt a sharp pinch in your upper arm-- you looked down to realize he'd managed to inject you with whatever it was.

It took a few moments to register what had happened, and by then it was already taking effect. You stumbled, and managed to slur out a barely discernable "Wha.. was tha-at..."

"Just a sedative, no need to be worried." You wished you were in any condition to give him a glare that'd send any normal person running for the hills-- not that it'd do much beside amuse him, but it's the thought that counts in this situations--, but alas, you really weren't.

You weren't in any condition to give a coherent response either, or fight as he helped you back on the bed and placed the blanket back over your legs and torso, tucking you in like you would with a small child.

"And to answer your first question," Your mind had slowed down exponentially-- rendering you almost entirely unaware to the world around you,

But something about his words, even if you couldn't make sense or make any connections at the time, cut through that fog just enough where you vaguely processed it.

Wesker leaned down, giving you a little kiss on the forehead-- like a parent wishing their beloved child a good nights sleep, before he finally answered.

"It's because you're mine, dearheart. There's no deeper meaning, I simply wanted you safe and by my side. Like you always should've been."

At that point, you were mere seconds from passing the hell out-- the last thing you really registered was this smug sort of smile, like he knew you wouldn't remember a majority of that exchange come morning (or whenever you woke up).

[sturniololuvz]

for your triplet sister one her making them play barbies with her when they were kids but chris and matt insisted to be action figures instead and nick was the only one who played with actual barbies

i hope this is what you mean !!! and thank you for the request!🩷

“Barbie’s V.S Superhero’s

Sturniolos x sister

warnings: none . really sweet fluff🩷

It was a normal Saturday afternoon in the Sturniolo house—well, as normal as it could be with three loud, chaotic brothers and their energetic four-year-old sister, Y/n.

The triplets were all lounging on the couch, half-watching TV when Y/n came stumbling into the living room, dragging a giant pink bin behind her. The sheer determination on her little face made Nick smirk.

“Guys,” Y/n said sweetly, batting her eyelashes. “Play Barbies with me?”

Nick instantly sat up, already reaching for the bin. “Oh, absolutely. Hand me a Barbie.”

Chris and Matt, however, exchanged a look.

“Uhhh,” Matt started, hesitating. “Can I be an action figure instead?”

Chris nodded quickly. “Yeah! I call Spider-Man!”

Y/n pouted, placing her tiny hands on her hips. “But it’s Barbie world! You can’t be Spider-Man.”

Chris gasped dramatically. “Okay, but hear me out. What if Spider-Man is visiting Barbie world? Huh? Ever think of that?”

Matt immediately grabbed another figure from the bin. “Then I’m Batman. Batman and Spider-Man go everywhere together.”

Nick rolled his eyes, already brushing out the hair of the Barbie he picked up. “You two are literally the worst. We’re playing Barbies, and you’re over here trying to turn it into a Marvel/DC crossover.”

Y/n giggled as she grabbed her own Barbie, placing her into a bright pink convertible. “Okay, but Batman and Spider-Man have to be nice in Barbie world.”

Chris scoffed, making his Spider-Man toy swing through the air. “Obviously. Spider-Man would never disrespect Barbie.”

Matt made Batman stand heroically. “Yeah, yeah. But Batman has one rule—he doesn’t ride in pink cars. He has the Batmobile.”

Y/n gasped. “No! Batman has to ride in the Barbie car!”

Chris burst out laughing. “Dude, she’s the boss. Batman’s getting in the pink convertible.”

Matt groaned, dramatically making his Batman action figure squeeze into the tiny pink car. “Fine. But I want it on the record that Batman is not happy about this.”

Nick snorted. “I think it’s a good look for him.”

The four of them sat cross-legged on the floor, fully immersed in Y/n’s Barbie world. Nick had his Barbie running a fashion show, while Y/n’s Barbie was a famous pop star on tour. Matt and Chris had their action figures act as Barbie’s bodyguards—though their version of “bodyguarding” involved a lot of unnecessary slow-motion fight scenes.

At one point, Matt made Batman do a backflip onto the Barbie Dreamhouse roof. “Batman has secured the area.”

Chris scoffed, holding up Spider-Man. “Uh, no he hasn’t. Spider-Man literally already checked the area. There were no threats.”

Matt turned to glare at him. “Uh, I don’t think so, dude. Batman is literally the best detective ever. He sees things Spider-Man doesn’t.”

Chris shook his head. “Are you kidding? Spider-Man has spidey-senses! He knew there were no threats before Batman even landed.”

Matt crossed his arms. “Yeah, well, Batman has gadgets, so he’s smarter.”

Chris let out a loud, offended gasp. “Did you just say Batman is smarter than Spider-Man?”

Y/n giggled, watching them with wide eyes. “Ohhh, so you think this is funny, Y/n?” Chris asked, turning to her.

Matt smirked. “Yeah? You like watching your big brothers argue?”

Y/n nodded enthusiastically, still giggling.

Nick rolled his eyes, grabbing his Barbie and making her wave at the action figures. “While you two are arguing about who’s the better superhero, Barbie is over here running a multi-million dollar company and going on world tours.”

Matt groaned. “Oh, great. Now Barbie thinks she’s better than Batman and Spider-Man.”

Chris smirked. “I mean, she kinda is. She has like 200 careers.”

Y/n clapped her hands. “Barbie is the best! And Batman and Spider-Man are best friends.”

Chris and Matt exchanged a long glance before sighing dramatically.

“Fine,” Matt grumbled, making his Batman action figure shake hands with Spider-Man. “Batman and Spider-Man are best friends.”

Chris sighed, making Spider-Man nod. “Yeah, yeah. And they both work for Barbie now, since apparently, she owns everything.”

Y/n squealed in delight, clapping her hands. “Yay! Now they can go on a Barbie adventure together!”

Nick smirked, flipping his Barbie’s hair over her shoulder. “That’s right. And they’re all going to the Barbie fashion show tonight, no arguments.”

Matt groaned but placed Batman in the tiny Barbie car. “This is the worst day of Batman’s life.”

Chris laughed, making Spider-Man dramatically sit in the passenger seat. “Spider-Man is just happy to be included.”

Y/n, still giggling, made her Barbie wave to them. “Okay! Now, everyone has to get dressed in their fancy outfits for the fashion show!”

Chris and Matt exchanged a look of pure horror.

Nick cackled, tossing them two tiny Barbie dresses. “Oh, you thought playing Barbies was bad? Now, your superheroes have to wear pink gowns.”

Chris groaned, while Matt dramatically flopped onto the floor. “This is a nightmare.”

But as Y/n giggled and continued playing, Chris and Matt couldn’t help but smile. Sure, playing Barbies wasn’t their usual way to spend a Saturday, but seeing their little sister so happy made it worth it.

Even if it meant Batman had to wear a pink sparkly dress.

[rollercoasterwords]

i rember seeing you update your tags with memory loss and my heart dropped lol it’s always been one of my biggest fears and you mercilessly explored it (and specifically how it affected relationships) and it was terrifying and beautiful and wonderful

the way you write memory loss haunts

me i love your writing so much im in awe and uh have a wondrous day 😭

hiiiii thank u yeah i have. many thoughts about memory loss clearly lol

i think in general part of what compels me is that i feel as though there is a very prevalent message that we should think of life as a linear journey through time, moving from past to future, and also that the meaning of life is evaluated in ways tied to that linear concept of time--i.e., the idea that death is a fundamentally more important experience than most (if not all) other moments of life, because it is temporally at the "end" of a linear life cycle. & this is something i explored in thtf bc i wanted to push back on & question the presumption that death is necessarily any more important of a moment simply because it's the last moment we might have, & i wanted to explore a concept of life in which moments happening at different points of time are not necessarily ever "over"--those moments have always happened & are always happening somewhere in the fabric of the universe...basically thtf was me exploring how things might change if we break away slightly from life measured by linear timelines.

ANYWAY lily's story arc in worm moon is kind of a similar exploration. i think one thing that people find really frightening about this kind of memory loss--which was based around early-onset dementia--is the idea that you are losing these moments when you can't remember them, and also becoming unmoored from your linear temporality. your life is no longer a straight & predictable line from past to present to future; now the past interjects on the present, times get tangled up, etc. & again i wanted to explore the ways in which that can be painful but also the idea that a life unmoored from memory and time does not necessarily preclude joy & love & everything that people generally find makes life worth living; yes, lily losing her memory of her son is painful, but that doesn't mean the moments and the times she lived with him go away. they aren't lost or eroded because they didn't exist only inside her memory or her mind, y'know? the past is always happening and the future is always happening and the present is always happening all at once, etc...or maybe it's not! who knows! but just because we tend to perceive reality one way doesn't mean other perceptions of reality are necessarily less real.

& with sirius's experience of memory loss--there are some overlapping themes, but also different stuff i wanted to unpack & explore. i wanted to write a character going through the trauma & frustration & loss of feeling as though an important piece of past & memory had been stolen from him, and how that blank space can leave a hole inside you, and you can spend so much time trying to fill it--but at the end of the day, sometimes memory is just gone. sometimes it was never made correctly in the first place, and you end up with a hole in your life. and so often in stories about that kind of traumatic memory loss what i've seen is a narrative where there's an eventual restoration of memory that fills in the hole and allows the character to finally move on. but i wanted a character who has to come to terms with the fact that this specific, acute kind of memory loss is permanent--there is no healing of the hole, there is no patching over it, you just have to learn how to be a new person around it because you can't go back to the person you were before it, because that person is no longer you. and you have to learn to live with a trauma that you can't even name. i think that's a stumbling point for me with a lot of narratives i've encountered about trauma: oftentimes, they rely very heavily on finding ways to name & explain that trauma as a means of healing from it and coming to terms with it and moving past it. and if you have a traumatic experience tied to memory loss, or if the memory loss is the traumatic experience, then it's not really something you can "come to terms with." you just have to accept that something happened to you or your body or however you think of that person you can't remember and you'll never fully know what it is; you'll never get to sit down and watch a movie of the memory that says "this is the Truth and this is What Happened and this is why there's a hole inside you and you have nightmares about things you can't remember." anyway i think i'm just rambling now & not explaining this very well lol it's easier to just write what i want to say through these characters yayyyy fanfiction let's all clap & cheer etc

[afyrian]

☆ coffee orders w/ msby | headcanons

m.list

atsumu miya

- tends to choose coffee on the sweeter side - enjoys creamers and vanilla syrup - gets sugar free to convince his team it’s a ‘healthy’ addition to his breakfast - tried to drink dark black coffee for most of secondary school - thought it made him look cool - ‘one large black coffee… very grown up of me, huh?’ [atsumu] - until one faithful day you suggested he go for something lighter - you served him up black coffee once and every drink he took brought a frown to his face - so, with your recommendation, he goes off the deep end - cold foam, extra vanilla, creamer, everything - in which you had to advise him to tone it down - ‘maybe let’s just start with a little creamer and a little sugar’ [you] - ‘alright, if you think that’s best for me’ [atsumu] - and it ultimately was - now every time he walks into your coffee shop, you make a point to have it ready for him - even if it six in the morning

sakusa kiyoomi

- surprisingly enjoys a little sweetness - even if he doesn’t give off those vibes - usually he prefers a blonde roast with some sweetener - he enters the coffee shop and leaves promptly - never giving time for conversation or exploration - so you quickly start making his order every time he comes in - and he would have his money ready every time - until one morning he comes in and an outlet went up in flames and all the coffee machines couldn’t be used - ‘i’m so sorry, but we’re going to have to close for the day and get stuff fixed… since you’re already here i could grab a pastry for you’ [you] - ‘uh- yeah sure’ [sakusa] - it brought about a new friendship for you - he still ordered the same old thing - but he kept a conversation with you - asked how your morning has gone or if you have any plans - finally you convinced yourself to write your name on his coffee cup - which he messaged just a few minutes after

bokuto kotaro

- doesn’t really drink coffee - he typically enjoys a smoothie - mixed with an assortment of fruits and protein powders - bokuto also likes to get a muffin occasionally, popping by your shop - however, if he’s running late he’ll grab a coffee and muffin from you - typically it’s something small - usually an espresso or americano - ‘no smoothie, so you want an espresso?’ [you] - ‘yes, that would be great! i have a long practice ahead’ [bokuto] - on the mornings he has off or late, he loves to chat with you - really with anyone working or standing in line - he creates a small community everywhere he goes - to the point he recognizes multiple regulars - ‘so, you go to all these practices, what do you do it for?’ [you] - ‘volleyball! i have an extra ticket to this upcoming tournament, why don’t you come’ [bokuto] - and you could never say no to him

hinata shoyo

- loooves coffee - after living in brazil he got hooked on all kinds of coffee - can drink anything from black coffee to nearly pure milk or creamer - as long as it’s not decaf he is happy - usually brews his own coffee - however, since they started doing early mornings for practice he’s started buying out - not caring to clean it after use - purposefully got a cup holder for his bike - enjoys it when you write sweet messages on the cups - usually something along the lines of ‘you got this!’ - he can’t write his own notes so he likes to give you quick comments - ‘this coffee is the best! thanks for recommending it!’ [hinata] - all while running out the door - hinata always has time to chat on the weekends though - sitting at the closest table - eating some pastry taking way too long - what he doesn’t want to tell you is that he’s contemplating asking you out - and chickening out every time

gen. taglist (open): @maybespiderman @causenessus @applepi25 @softpia @bakery-anon

@nekozaki @nnnyxie @kameyyy @cherrysurf

[thepineapplegal86]

Hi, im here to say a word about the post you recently reblogged from nr1martinblackwoodhater (?)

I was about to argue with you about it but honestly you defended your opinion pretty well. Youre right, the way the story plays out is quite dependent on martin being the way he is - constantly berating himself and being insecure, the contradictions in his character etc etc.

Would you care to say more on this matter? Because im already slightly biased towards martin i cant really think of arguments portraying him in a good light (mainly bc i don't really have a strong opinion myself, and the fanon ver of him is shallow so i can't form my opinion based on that)

Sorry for sending you an entire ask on this topic

Yeah of course!! I’m glad I made some sense bc I’m very passionate about separating disliking characters’ personalities from their function as a character if that makes sense?

I think the reason I’m so passionate about Martin Blackwood specifically is because people who want him to be more likable are bypassing the point completely.

People expect a cinnamon roll stereotype of a guy, and when he diverts from that as the show continues, we find out that his reactions to the world are a result of trauma, and that he has a truckload of stuff to work through. We find out that he’s always been hiding behind this nice fluffy facade to protect himself because he’s terrified of people hating him the way his mother did.

Wanting him to be less “annoying,” self-isolating, and insecure kinda definitionally contradicts that, since they’re a direct expression of his mental state.

Self-isolation and self-hatred don’t happen in a vacuum, so we can’t see the self-sacrificing and “heroic” moments of giving himself over to the lonely for his friends without those less exciting, smaller instances of self-hatred. They’re expressed in the form of self deprecating jokes or through trying to make Jon see him as valuable with his little gestures, even though it isn’t working. I think Martin knew it probably wouldn’t work, but he felt the need to be helpful anyway because a part of him thought that he deserved to be mistreated. He didn’t grow up with the tools to communicate in a productive way because his parent didn’t allow him the space to grow in that way.

For Martin to really be bogged down by the lonely, that self isolating and “pity party” type mindset has to be rooted to his very core. That has to manifest in unpleasant and frustrating ways for it to be realistic, since the most effective form of loneliness is self-inflicted; the only way to get out of it is by doing it out of your own volition, and that motivation is being siphoned away the longer you stay in the isolated state.

Also to be totally clear, I’m sure I’m guilty of this type of bias all the time, since I think it comes pretty naturally. I’ve just dedicated more thought to this particular character than I have to others I think

Thanks for letting me rant 😂

[unhinged-simp]

Hello~ I've been lurking for awhile but I haven't seen anyone ask...

What are your most and least favorite characters in TDB? Your favorite chapter? Idk, I want to hear your opinions! Hear you simp along with us! 💛

Spoilers for chapter 13, though I don’t go that in depth with it. Also this is so long. Also thank you for asking, I really could go more into why I love these characters, but I stopped myself.

Honestly, I like most of the characters. I do have specific favorites though. I usually just count the characters I think about the most out of others my favorites.

My all time favorite is Subaru. I just randomly started liking him before his chapter even came out. I love when he shows up because I eat up every scene he’s in, and I love when they put him in chapters that aren’t Hotarubi, especially chapter 11. He was so cute during that chapter, not like he isn’t just cute in general. He’s also very pretty too. (I still don’t have his standard SSR, sob) I feel like there’s a lot we don’t know about him, and I’m excited to see what it is. He just means a lot to me.

My second favorite varies, but I’m probably going to say it’s Rui. He was the character I picked when I first started the game. I do remember them calling him a playboy, and I was kinda worried they’d go down the pervy playboy route, but I was happy they didn’t. He is such an interesting character and I’m also excited to learn more about him. He’s another character that means a lot to me.

My third favorite also varies, but most often it’s Kaito. Originally I wasn’t really into him, I just enjoyed him because he was silly. Then chapter 9 happened, and my whole view on him changed. Of course he’s still silly, but I genuinely think he’s super cool. I hope we learn more about him and his family.

My fourth favorite is probably Romeo. Originally I didn’t like him that much due to his attitude, but he’s another one that chapter 9 made me like. I saw how pretty he was and changed my mind. At that point I just liked him because he’s pretty, but I’ve gotten to the point where I enjoy his attitude.

I have some others that I don’t really number, just characters that I like and sometimes forget.

Like Jin. I absolutely love the icy tsundere but actually kind of soft to the one they like trope that he has. Plus he’s just insanely hot, totally did enjoy it when he pinned the MC to the wall in chapter 1. This recent chapter was also amazing for all of the Jin scenes in it.

Sho is another one I really like. I mean he’s literally the whole boyfriend package. He’s kind and caring, he can cook you amazing meals, he can protect you. Like what’s there to not like about him?

Haku! I like Haku too. Like why does bro have to be so hot? While I do find him kind of suspicious, he’s also very kind to MC, and I really enjoy that. I really wished we knew more about him! Maybe Chapter 15(if it is about the Hotarubi trio). I also think it’s funny how during new years, he doesn’t ask the MC on a date, but Rui and Kaito do(my friend and I joked that they sacrificed Haku’s flirtiness to give Rui and Kaito a chance).

Oh, and I absolutely love Ren too! He’s probably number 5 in the list of characters I think about. Especially when he had the puppy ears and tail. I don’t even know why, but I’m absolutely obsessed with puppyboy Ren. Before we even saw him in the episode I wanted those ears and tail to be real so badly. He’s also incredibly relatable to me.

As for my least favorite characters, I only have one I really don't like, and that’s Ed. He just acts insanely creepy in a way I hate, especially around the MC. The way he texts I absolutely hate, and it gives me brain damage every time I see it. I just want to go, “okay grandpa, it’s time for bed.” Everytime he speaks. At least he confirmed the Kykkos thing.

I don’t really enjoy Leo’s attitude, but I don’t mind him that much, so he gets an honorable mention here.

I have a lot of favorite chapters, it’s really hard to pick just one.

I really liked chapter 12, Jabberwock was a breath of fresh air and I love all of them. Plus the anomaly for that chapter was super cool.

Chapter 9 is also another of my favorites. I liked the group of characters they picked. I love the crumbs of Jiro and Zenji lore, and I want more. The Halloween outfits were all some of my favorites. I thought the anomaly in this chapter was so cool.

Chapter 10 broke me, but I love it too. Like I felt so bad for Lyca and Rui. We got to learn more about Rui’s curse! The maid/butler aesthetic was also really fun.

I also liked chapter 13 as well. I’m glad they didn’t hide the gore at all. The twist caught me off guard. We got to learn more about Tohma which is pretty neat. Jinnnnnnnn!!!! and Kaitoooo!! Luca was also nice to have around again, I forgot how enjoyable he was. The anomalies were so cooollll, I’ve been loving the recent anomaly designs a lot.

Lastly, I like chapter 5. I know there isn’t a lot in it, but the Zenji plot twist was so amazing that I really enjoy it. Plus we get Subaruuu and Hakuu.

I hope you enjoyed reading this, it definitely made me think.

[inkagenda]

do you have any fun or random hensper headcannons???

i do!!! thanks for giving me an excuse to dump some of them :)

1) jasper is very affectionate but was really surprised to find out that henry is even cornier. once they've gotten together and figured their shit out, henry goes all out. he just constantly flirts with jasper, pulling out the "i'm in a band" line and sending cringey redflix and chill memes, even though they're literally already together.

2) jasper never grew out of his bucket phase; he just started keeping it to himself because he figured no one actually cared. henry noticed this, so when he sees a random bucket, he'll point it out, or he'll pretend to have a photo of a bucket pop up on his twitflash feed, just so he can get jasper to start talking about buckets again. one time, he even bought a miniature bucket and randomly gave it to jasper to use as a pencil case, and when jasper looked all confused, henry tried to play it cool and was all like "oh, i thought you still liked buckets." (jasper did, in fact, still like buckets (he kept the pencil bucket)).

3) henry is jasper's go-to when he's freaking out (which is kind of already canon tbh). in love muffin when omar spits on jasper, henry's there with a rag and a hand on jasper's shoulder. he's reassuring jasper, saying things like "it's alright, it's not that bad, come here," which makes me believe henry is just more gentle and affectionate than anyone else when it comes to jasper, which is why he's the best at comforting jasper. other people wouldn't speak to jasper softly the way henry does or give him hugs and comforting touches.

and then there's the quiet times when jasper has to calm henry down or try to make him feel better, and jasper is incredibly good at it. except there are times where he just can't always do his best because they're currently in a time where henry has only girlfriends, and jasper is his best friend, so even though he likes henry, he's there when henry ends up between girlfriends or in an argument. and when this happens, he always ends up doing something dumb to cheer henry up, like grabbing henry's hand and playing a game of thumb war or rock, paper, scissors. so he'll take henry's hand and place it on top of his own closed fist and then goes “you win… yay!” and lets go to pump his fists in the air. it's stupid, but it always works on henry.

4) when they lived in their apartment in dystopia, grocery shopping was quite literally a game for them. they sucked at it, so they had to make it fun otherwise they wouldn't get what they needed or do it right. but the games started to get physical to the point where they'd get kicked out, so they stuck to just making puns out of brands and stuff. but then they'd get competitive and physical again, so it's now a cycle.

5) and future married-with-kids hensper is just them timing each other and seeing who can speed-run getting the kids dressed or ready for school the fastest.

and idk if this counts as a headcanon but missy had a hensper phase!! when they arrive to a new reality, and henry is suddenly dressed in a tuxedo, he's just totally confused. and ray steps inside and he's like "kid, what the hell are you doing? get out here." and then he's just standing there thinking that he's the best man at jasper's wedding, until jasper walks down the aisle, and henry realizes what's happening.

(i also have one that's kinda the opposite way. it's the same concept, except henry is pushed through the doors and is made to walk down the aisle).

[zetchrr]

I played this through four times last night and I wanted to add my little thoughts in a more cohesive way than my sleepy keysmashing last night lmao (though I am still keysmashing mentally because holy shit Dessssss) I adored the background choices and I tried them all, it made me want to know more about all of them. I've had so many thoughts about who they might be, it makes me wanna flesh them out. The first thing that hit me was the wonderful description of the Astral. Just breathtaking and a perfect encapsulation of the wild serenity I think of when I picture it. Evocative, atmospheric, endless and safe and dangerous. I feel the same absolute joy I feel when I think about space. (Also the rebels' home location fuck yeah I am here for that so hard) I don't want to spoil things, but the yell I yelled when I saw Des' design for a certain mythical figure. Larger than life, a deity and a mortal all at once. I want to draw them and write about them so much. All of the art is absolutely stunning. Each interaction between the characters is so genuine and heartfelt. You can really feel their personalities, hear their voices. All of the dialogue is fantastic and I cried at several points. Just so poignant and all three of our interviewees feel so distinct and powerful. I could sit here all day and describe how like themselves everyone feels. The rollsssss it took me a few gos to get all of them, but I adored them all. I am absorbing all this gorgeous lore and hc with absolute glee. The memories, the art, they punctuate the questions so well. They flow so nicely. The tooltips are a lovely addition and I was clicking absolutely everything. Also the Ka'zalii reference had me squealing, I am forever honoured that you love my boy as much as I do. And obligatory githscord mentionnnn, I am so pleased to have been there for the journey. I want everyone to play this, it's a wonderful read and will hook you immediately. I've not stopped thinking about it and I'm going to play it again later. Des, you did so fucking good with this. I am in awe of your writing, your art, your characterization and your gorgeous descriptions. You have such a way with words that floors me every time. Thank you for making this wonderful novel. <3

Set after the events of Baldur's Gate 3, the interactive novel Prince, Blade, Breaker is a fanwork inspired by my love of Dungeons & Dragons, the githyanki, their history, culture and language.

Learn more about the githyanki, their culture and language, Prince Orpheus, Kith'rak Voss, and Vanquish. Learn what they all mean to each other, and themselves, by interviewing all three in their unique routes with accompanying images, which contain player choice, branching dialogue, dice rolls, and many secrets to find.

Play or download for free, on itch.io!

If you wish to donate to support me, my art and writing, my Ko-Fi is here. Thank you so much everyone for your continued love and support.

Enjoy your time in the Astral Sea with the rebels!

[howtodisappearcompletelyand]

20/10 stars little guy

[waterfallofspace]

Anyone else not able to say 'bless you', either because it feels too personal, embarrassing, slightly erotic or a mixture of all of the above-

Buuuuuut also whenever an event interrupts the conversation, you feel so much more awkward not saying anything/commenting on it at all, and so you wish you could just... say that phrase, or have some other thing that makes sense to say to just- shrug it off???

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

you absolutely already know this, but i adore your work. i think it's hard to avoid the pressure of being surrounded by people we might consider "true artists," but the fact is that, frankly, everyone who makes art is an artist.

before this year, i hadn't drawn a complete piece in nearly three years. the line work i did produce felt abysmal and i was tempted to give up. then, i saw your comic and i thought, "wow, that's really cute, and it looks like a fun style to emulate."

i drew you, pondering me, eating grass. and it WAS fun. i forgot how fun it could be. i can draw lesbian horses, or pony!WWX throwing a chicken, or me eating grass. i can even make shitty memes! and all of it, no matter how good or how bad, is fun again.

you bring a lot of fun to people here. that's something equally as important as people who cultivate fancy line work or expert level digital painting. i'm sure that's something you know, but i hope it never hurts to hear it.

happy first season, friend! i can't wait to see the rest.

As a chronic perfectionist, it's been a long journey for me to accept that 'done is better than nothing' and that the worst critical voice is my own. Sure there's people who've gone to professional art schools, and those with a more than a decade of experience on me, but honestly? Would I tell a child their sonic drawing isn't art? Just because they have no 'experience' or 'technique'? Absolutely not. So I'm no longer saying my efforts should not count as art.

At the end of the day, art is what we choose to make it. We have the power to create whatever we want. And we are going to use it to have fun! We never lost the love and fun for creation we all had as children, we just told ourselves it wasn't enough. But it really is B*)