#thank you everyone for humoring me with these ask memes as i whine

[shoshiwrites]

No I will definitely not regret the Coca cola i just had, what are you talking about

[zerolostwalks]

For that ask game ⬇️

📈 How many fics do you have?

🤡 What’s a line, scene, or exchange you’ve written that made you laugh?

🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?

Hey Anon!! Thanks for the ask!!

(Fanfic Writer Emoji Asks)

📈 How many fics do you have?

Going off of straight AO3 numbers: 114 However, I also have a couple sneaky writing posts I've made on here, 1 youtube podfic monologue thing and 3 fics on FF.net from way back in my Invader Zim fic writer days over a decade ago

🤡 What’s a line, scene, or exchange you’ve written that made you laugh?

There's a few but there's this exchange I wrote back as part of Slices of Summer that always jumps to my mind first . “What happened? Why is there screaming?” Everyone spoke at once; Flynn continued her anger infused lecture. “Flynn tried to punch Reggie.” “I was just trying to say hello.” “I thought you told her we could go visible now?” “You do not just appear behind a person with no warning.” “Oh my god.” Julie groaned as she fell into the couch head in her hands. Her head shot right back up, “Wait, you tried to punch, Reggie?” Reggie’s nod shook his whole body as he gaped at Flynn. Flynn just glared back, her arms crossed. “What else am I supposed to do when a strange boy scares me?” Now, Reggie’s kicked puppy betrayal was tinged by a scowl. Luke pulled him back in order to hug him from behind, “I mean she is making some good points.” Reggie's face melted into a pout. “Agreed. I, too, find Reggie strange.” Alex chimed in through stifled laughter. Reggie threw his arms up in the air. “Juuules,” he whined as he threw his upper body face first onto the couch cushion beside her, kneeling on the floor. It reminded Julie a bit of that dramatic Disney princess meme she’d seen some time ago. Julie ran a hand through his hair, and gently dragged her nails across his scalp.

🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?

Oooh hmmm, that's a good one. Reggie is fun if I can get it right, as is Willie. But they have a humor and attitude that can be hard for me to properly capture at times. Alex is always cathartic since we both have anxiety but as tricky they are I probably got to say Flynn and Carrie have been some of my favs to write of late. The layers to the characters are fun to explore.

[dalamjisung]

shave it all ❋ bambam

word count: 1613

genre: slice of life, fluff, established relationship!bambam

member: bambam x reader

description: it’s crazy to think that he can do whatever he wants, now; you two have gotten so used to the limitations that came with his old job that once they are gone it’s a bit disorienting. Especially for Bam. But you make sure to let him know that no matter what, you’re right there, by his side. All of you. 

“No.”

“Oh, come on, babe,” He whines, stomping his feet like a little child. “Why not?”

“Because you could get in trouble, Bam!”

The words that leave your mouth are automatic– you’ve been saying them for so long, and so often, that now that you don’t have to worry about that anymore, if feels almost illegal to forget them.

“Oh really?!” The comedic sarcasm in his voice is clear and when Bambam throws his head back to laugh, you really want to slap that smug grin from his face. “We’ll get in trouble? How?”

“I hate you,” You mumble, eyeing the machine in his hands.

“Come on, Y/N,” He whines again, shoving it towards you. “It’s really starting to bother me.”

“Bam, you know I support you in everything you do,” You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. “And even when I know it is a bad idea I follow through, but this is… too much.”

“Why?”

“Because your whole career is based on your incredible talent and cursed good looks,” You shriek, trying to hide your smile as he laughs once again, arms encircling your ways and bringing you close. “How can you rely on the last one if you shave your head?!”

“Hm,” He hums, eyes squinting as he looks down at you. Bambam can feel your fingers playing with the hair on the back of his neck, a habit of yours– be it when you two are cuddling and about to fall asleep, or when you are watching a movie, or even talking, sometimes– and he wonders if there is another reason as to why you don’t want to help him shave his head. “Are you sure it is because of that?”

Your fingers still.

“What do you mean?”

“Are you sure you’re worried about my career?” His voice is low and teasing, and when he kisses you, you can feel the playfulness in his actions. “Because I think, you like me with longer hair.”

“I like you anyways–“

“Why the fuck you lyin’” Bambam sings, pulling away. “Think of this as… an adventure. It’ll be fun!”

“Then shave my hair too, why don’t you?” You mumble, frowning as you watch him pull a chair from the kitchen into the bathroom, wet hair framing his handsome face and you feel like crying at the thought of not seeing him with wet, long hair.

“Can I?!” He turns around excitedly. “Babe, you would rock a bald head like no one else, I swear to–“

“Oh my god, definitely not,” You chuckle, pushing him down on the char in front of you. “At least, not yet.”

“One day?” Bambam’s eyes are hopeful, and you absolutely love the look on him– one full of jovial glee and youth, and you are not even sure if you remember seeing him this light and carefree in all the years you’ve been together. He was always worried about something, be it image, or music, or schedule, and to see him finally act his age and look his age makes your heart beat faster.

“One day,” You sigh, knowing you have to do this. For him. “Now sit down– we’re shaving your head.”

“You’ll do it?” He questions, excited, and you nod, plugging the razor on the socket by the sink. Looking back at him, you know this is your last chance; you sit in his lap in a beat, legs on each side of him and you kiss him– hard and fast, hands grabbing his hair to pull him close. “Uh… maybe I shouldn’t–“

“No way,” You giggle, breathing a bit to hard. “We’re shaving your head.”

“Give me another one of those then,” Bam’s hands pull you closer, and this time he takes a bit more time to enjoy you two, mouth moving on your languidly, needy. When you move back to grab the machine, your boyfriend grabs your hand, and you can practically feel his nervousness.

“Are you okay?” You ask, softly brushing his hair back and away from his eyes. “Bam…”

“Yeah, I’m okay,” He smiles, looking down at his hands in his lap. “It’s just a bit weird being able to actually do these things, you know? No manager breathing down my neck, no company complaining about the things I say… no hyungs.”

“What do you mean, ‘no hyungs’?” You scoff, frowning a bit. You know he’s been having a hard time adjusting; although they were all pretty young when they first debuted, Bambam and Yugyeom were kids. They grew up under the care of the older boys and now, not having them so close like they used to be in the dorms, they have been feeling a bit alone.

At night Bambam cuddles closer to you and you notice how hard it is for him to sleep, or how he’s always in the GOT7 group chat, be it talking to the members or just sending random pictures and memes. It has been a big change for him; doing things, all the things he wanted to do before, and not having the other six guys to hype him up, or warn him, or care for him. So you try and compensate– you hug him closer when he feels restless at night, or you google funny memes of him on Twitter to send him, or even, sometimes, when he looks particularly lost, you sit with him on the couch, caressing his hair as you watch Youtube compilations of concerts and interviews. You know he’s having a particular difficult day when he plays videos from the tours on the TV, laughing at his own spastic behavior.

“I have an idea,” You say when he doesn’t answer you. You pull your cellphone out, and go into the group chat with the other six boys and the girls, hitting the video call button.

It’s funny how quick they are to pick up a call when it comes from you, worried faces popping up on your screen and a cacophony of voices asking about their friend.

“Y/N?” JB frowns. “Is everything okay? Is Bam okay?!”

“What happened?” Yugyeom shouts, eyes wide and crazy looking for his best friend on the tiny screen.

“Is the kid okay?” Jackson screeches and you laugh at his pained expression.

“Everything is okay,” You shout, trying to make your voice louder than all of theirs together. “We are all alive!”

“Oh thank god,” Youngjae mutters.

“What’s this about then?” Jinyoung is the first to ask, and you move away to show your boyfriend sitting on the chair with wet hair and a towel around his neck. “Oh god, what the hell are you kids doing now?”

“We’re going to shave his head,” You announce, and ignoring the mixture of laughter and shocked gasps, you continue. “And because this is a very important moment of rebellion and freedom for the youngster, we wanted you all to be present, even if only by video.”

“Ah, waking up for this was definitely worth it,” Mark groans, humor lacing his voice as he turns on the light in his room. “You’re going to look ridiculous, Bam. I love it.”

“Hey, everyone,” Just the tone of his voice is enough to tell you that he’s back to his usual self. “I miss you all…”

“We miss you too, Bam!” Yugyeom whines, and you chuckle at the duo dabbing together. “Wanna hang out next week?”

“Absolutely,” Bambam grabs your hand just as you move behind him with the machine, ready to say goodbye to his precious hair.

“Ready?” You mutter, just for him to hear.

“I love you,” Is his answer, and the whole bathroom quiets as soon as the buzzing starts, and it takes only a few seconds to shave a strip from the center of his forehead to the back of his head.

Silence reigns for a beat before everyone is laughing– you included. Having your share of fun, you start shaping his hair in odd cuts, always making sure to not pull or accidentally nip his scalp. Bambam had set the electric razor to leave him with a buzzcut, and you’d never admit it to his face because the teasing would be endless, but the more that you shave off, the more you start liking this style. It’s soft, and although it doesn’t leave you much to play with, it shows so much of Bambam’s face that you can’t complain.

“You look like an egg!” Jackson cries out, laughing. “This is so good.”

“Shut up, he looks great!” You chuckle, watching Jackson’s girlfriend slap him behind the head and offer you and Bam a thumbs up. You make a mental note to thank her and Jacks for the Team Wang gifts, after all of this is done.

It’s only when the buzzing stops that everyone inches closer to their cameras, taking a proper look at your boyfriend. Honestly, there is not much room for mistakes with an electric razor, but you still pat your self on the back once you notice just how hot Bambam looks running his hand over his buzzed hair, muscles bulging and a smirk once his eyes meet your. He can read you like a book and just the possibility of him knowing what’s running through your mind makes you blush.

“How do you feel?” You ask, hopefully easing the growing tension in the room.

“Sexy,” He says, and all the boys laugh, girls hyping him up. “I kind of like this.”

“I like it too,” You kiss his cheek. “I like you.”

“Like?”

“Love.”

“Love,” He nods. “Love you.”

He pecks your mouth, and just as he deepens the kiss, you can hear Jackson’s voice in the background.

“He does look like an egg, though– OW!”

—————————————

Not gonna lie, this one made me 😢  Baby Bam missing his hyungs is just too much for my poor heart to handle 😚 What do you think of this one? Let me know! If you liked this story, please please please share, comment, like, or anything you feel comfortable doing ❤️ thank you for your endless support, lovelies💕

[laraplisetski]

Dating Iwaizumi Hajime

A/n: This isnt related to the headcanons but I have this request for Seijoh’s libero and since I'm doing dating hcs for all of Seijoh by their jersey numbers. So anyways please wait a little bit longer as I might tag you in the dating hcs for Watari. Sorry for any mistakes tho.

Special announcement! 

I just reached a hundred follows today! Thankyou for for following me and I'm so thankful for all the support. If I could, I would try to show more gratitude in any way.

Words: 1790

Tags: @imthatchishiyasimp​, @kekozume​

(These arms tho)

Iwaizumi routinely calls you something like baka or dumbass but he says it in good faith.

For example whenever you do something stupid Iwaizumi call you a dumbass.

But he doesn't mean it, it's just how he shows his worry.

He's just a big ass tsundere, you cannot tell me otherwise. 

A lot of people think Iwaizumi would be a gentleman but like I feel like he would treat you like Oikawa but like way less harsher. 

Like he would let you call him nicknames like ‘iWa-ChAn’ and just blush and call you dumbass.

*cough cough* tsundere *cough cough* 

Also he's bad at giving compliments,

Like you'll be wearing nice clothes that really fit your form and he’ll really like you wearing them.

And you'll ask him if he likes your clothes, and hell just blush furiously grab your hand and just start walking.

‘Iwa, do you like what I wore today? It's my favorite outfit.’

‘Ye-yeah, we have to go, we'll miss our bus.’

One time you guys had a huge argument over this.

You feel insecure because he treated you more like Oikawa who was his best friend than his s/o.

He tried really hard after that to compliment you whenever you looked good.

(In his opinion you always did)

And you really appreciated him trying.

After that your bond grew stronger as both of you knew that you would be willing to for the other.

As your bond grew stronger the more you started to open up to him about your struggles. 

Now Hajime isn't a very open person. (Well he is but he doesn't like to admit it.)

And he's a little brash and very straightforward with his feelings or his thoughts. 

So when you're acting down he straight up asks you what's wrong and doesn't consider that you don't/wouldn't want to talk about it.

This might make you a little more agitated since you're already very sad but when he realizes that you don't want to talk about it, he immediately regrets it and apologies straight away.

One thing I love about Iwaizumi as a character is that he isn't afraid to tell the truth even if he knows he's in the wrong. 

But these things only happened in the start of your relationship because when you two spend much more time together he starts to notice patterns in your behavior and how you act based on how you feel. 

That really helps him to know if you're sad, angry or irritated at someone. 

Later in the relationship, he knows when to comfort you, when to give you space and when to scold you. 

You really appreciate this because he doesn't sugarcoat his words and he gives you advice that is honest and comes from his heart.

Moving on, let's talk about his friends.

By friends I mean Oikawa. 

When Iwaizumi first got a s/o Oikawa was fuming because 

‘wHo wOuLd DaRe taKe mY iWa-cHaN aWay frOm mE’

Iwa slapped him on the back of his head after he said that. 

After that every time you would come to school, Oikawa would stick to Iwaizumi like a leech

(for comedic purposes of course)

Iwaizumi found it amusing at first how jealous you would be that Oikawa was getting all your boyfriends attention. 

But then as time passed you started waving to Oikawa whenever he was sticking with Iwa and he started waving back. 

After that you two developed a friendship.

You know what this means.

Hell for Iwaizumi has started. 

So Iwaizumi would always walk you to class in the morning and you guys would sit with Oikawa for lunch.

Now that you're friends with Oikawa.

Ohoho, I'm sorry Iwa you have to suffer. 

So you guys get along very well and Iwaizumi is very thankful for that because the two most important people (other than his family) are getting along.

It's fine for the first two weeks but then you and Oikawa develop this sibling-like bond.

It's almost identical to Iwa and Oikawa’s bond but because you share the same sense of humor Oikawa doesn't get teased.

Also one time Oikawa convinced you to call Hajime, Iwa-Chan for a day.

To say Iwaizumi was not pleased was an understatement. 

The good thing is Oikawa got the bad end of it but it was worth it.

Also you guys eat lunch together and you and Oikawa keep making bad jokes and Iwaizumi has no choice but to sigh and deal with it, cause he loves both of you.

Poor iWa-ChAn.

You also tend to stick up for Oikawa during practices when the team is teasing him. 

Due to you thinking of him as your little brother (It doesn't matter if you're older or younger Oikawa gives off major annoying little brother vibes.)

And the team cant rebel against you cause if they did Iwaizumi would murder them.

Other than that they absolutely love you cause you take care of the first and second years and keep them in line.

And you get along with Matsun and Makki and share memes with them.

Surprisingly Kyotani also respects you.

And he actually listens to your advice.

(Because of this Oikawa will whine about how no one respects him and goes on a rant and then you have to cheer him up while simultaneously giving everyone attention in the team.)

Being a team mom for Seijoh is very hard.

Also I feel like the reason Kyotani respected you when you became Iwa’s s/o was because you were Iwa’s s/o.

But now his view on you has changed.

He's very inspired by you and looks up to you.

He's always amazed by how you can be such a naturally caring person and be such a good leader and team player. 

He also might come to you for advice if he had an argument with someone.

If you're a volleyball player as well and you're good, be ready for Kyotani following you around everywhere asking questions.

It's sort of endearing.

You and Iwa and Kyotani have this parent-son relationship and it's so wholesome I swear.

(Please adopt him.)

You do not only help keep the team in check you help them with matches too. 

Like maybe getting their opponents videos for Oikawa. 

You also sit down with the first and second years to watch their opponents videos and point out what seems peculiar and what not. 

One time the person who usually took videos of the matches was unavailable so you went out of your way to do it yourself. 

When Iwa found out he hugged you really tight and had this proud look in his eyes.

I bet when Oikawa found out he just clung to you and started full on crying.

(You're basically their manager at this point.)

Also when the team found out that you taped it yourself and all that, their respect from you went out the roof.

Now you are a goddess among them.

(Kyotani literally be looking at you with star eyes)

Enough about the team tho

Let's get back to Iwa and you.

You always try to be sneaky and steal his clothes but he catches you midway trying to sneak one of his jumpers out.

But he lets you have them anyways cause you look fucking cute in them.

Whenever he sees you wearing his clothes this man just blushes like 50 shades of red.

(I'm sorry pun wasn’t intended)

But anyways what I'm trying to say is that he blushes a deep red and basically just becomes a stuttering mess.

You like kiss him on the cheek like this once and he's putty in your hands. 

I'm not even kidding.

Also Iwa’s pretty muscular so no matter how long you are his hoodies will always be loose on you in some way.

(sorry muscular people)

And Iwa finds it so cute like

His s/o in his hoodie that's all loose on them.

Just like internally crying at that point.

Also mind you Iwaizumi loves back hugs like. 

Imagine you are wearing one of his articles of clothing and you just casually back hug him.

Man will short circuit but will never admit he likes them because hes a 

Tsundere~~

But this might just be my love of back hugs talking who knows.

When he doesn't have practice he usually stays at home and cuddles with you or you have movie nights with Tooru but that is rare cause he has to take care of his cousin.

But you guys just calmly cuddle and no one is really speaking.

Just basking in each other's presence and being comfortable in each other's company. 

Sometimes one of you falls asleep and the other just strokes their fingers through their hair.

It's basically the same when he comes back from practice but the only difference is that he takes off his shirt and you massage his strong muscles with some oil. 

After that y'all cuddle but you're blushing the entire time because like Iwaizumi’s shirtless excuse me!

‘And this bitch just goes,

‘Take a picture it'll last longer’ 

Like what, how do you expect yourself not to short circuit.

And curse you Oikawa, you don't have to teach him the ways of flirting.

Usually you wouldn't react to that type of comment but he's shirtless and now you're putty in his hands. 

So you both are like beans. 

Also I'm like a hundred percent sure Iwaizumi is a big spoon. 

He just loves caging you in his arms and making sure you feel protected. 

It also keeps him very grounded and just honestly happy to have you there with him.

There was this one incident in which you and Oikawa were bantering and Iwaizumi wasn't having any of it so he picked you up and threw you on his shoulder. And walked away like nothing happened. 

After that you guys sort of had an impromptu make out session in the club room, which was unfortunately interrupted by Kindaichi barging in.

Bless him.

And his eyes.

You and Iwaizumi had to sit him down and make him swear to not tell anyone. 

After that you two continued but Kindaichi might've accidentally spilled to Kunimi 

Opps.

Bonus points

Iwaizumi likes to buy purple hyacinths for you on valentines day because it's your favorite flower and to also say sorry for when he was not boyfriend like in the beginning of your relationship. 

(Yes I referenced Purple Hyacinth the webtoon, go watch it)

Also the team has a custom made Seijoh jacket, just for you!

And the first time you saw it you just hugged Iwaizumi and started sobbing because these boys were too precious and just too pure. (I love Seijoh)

The end.

[rpmemesbyarat]

DISNEY'S "GARGOYLES" SEASON 2 QUOTES RP MEME

Why do you read that stuff?

I like a man who brings me weapons.

Nice wake up call.

We won't have to find them. They'll find us.

Revenge, as they say, is a sucker's game.

I'll settle for tearing this jerk IN HALF!

Want to see me use both hands?

That's no way to treat a lady!

That was no lady.

Thanks for saving my bacon before it got fried.

Look, just promise you'll call if there's trouble.

Go ahead, try something!

I'd love to do that again!

That wasn't a tranquilizer dart.

It was loaded with a mutagenic formula!

You don't know anything about her!

Why are you stomping on my friend here?

I was particularly proud of my death scene.

You never let me drive.

The important thing is, you're alive.

Are you sure this is a good idea?

Something's not right here.

Then you leave us no choice!

How are we supposed to find them?

Please, I beg you, be quiet.

This isn't a good idea.

I'm best qualified to go.

My memories are clouded.

Why should I trust you?

If you can't trust me, then trust your heart.

Why do you fight me, my love?

We are destined to be together for all eternity.

I will choose who I love!

Now we'll see what this creature looks like up close.

Why stare at marks on a page when you can rent the video?

Well, I can't read and I don't think I'm missing anything.

Harrier jets! They can take off and land like helicopters. When your life's this exciting, who needs books?

Are you all right?

I had a little trouble.

This beach isn't safe after dark.

Do you need a doctor?

Come on in. I've got a fire going.

There's little I can offer in return, except my thanks.

You understand, I don't get any real pleasure from this. Well you've got courage, beastie. I'll give you that.

Funny, something about your voice made me think you were a soldier, once.

You were there.

I'm old, but I'm not that old.

I'm glad you came back.

I'm afraid I can't stay, but I think I left something on the terrace this morning.

Have you come across a large canister?

The name sounded phony.

I do know him, but he's not a friend!

A magic book?

They're worthless. No magic at all.

The written word is all that stands between memory and oblivion.

Without books as our anchors, we are cast adrift, neither teaching nor learning.

Books are lighthouses erected in the dark sea of time.

Is this how you welcome all your guests?

They have a sense of humor. You have none.

Yeah, I know, you're as relieved I am that everything's back to normal.

Wouldn't it be great to be a shapeshifter?

Well, let's just get this over with, shall we?

How can I be of service, hmm?

Out with it. I haven't got all night.

I'm sure you'll fit right in.

What is it you really want?

This just might be fun after all.

I thought everyone knew this.

Shapeshifters, elves, fairies, you mean they're real?

You mean, you thought I was ugly?

I want you to get rid of the humans. ALL of them.

Does this look like Aladdin's lamp? I have limits, after all.

Humans love a battle hearty.

I'll never get the hang of jumping off rooftops.

I'll always be there to catch you.

Do it, and you win your freedom.

It will be my pleasure. But afterwards, I'm going to need a very long nap.

There. You're free.

The sun, it's glorious! I never thought that it could feel so good.

I'm sorry about the bomb. But it proves how dangerous this case is.

When someone messes with your partner, you're supposed to do something about it.

You still haven't learned that crime doesn't pay.

A trade?

Let's just say, I don't trust you with it.

So, now you know my weakness.

Only you would regard love as a weakness.

A momentary lapse, I assure you.

Halloween! Tonight is the night!

Come on. I've wanted to stroll down a city street with you for a long time.

Marry me.

Are you serious?

We're genetically compatible, highly intelligent, and have the same goals.

You could've been hurt. I should've been with you.

Oh-well, spilt milk. Let's move on to plan B.

Don't listen to him. It's a trick! He couldn't tell the truth if his life depended on it!

Even if what you say is true, why should I help her?

Because you know what it means to lose some you love.

Not a good night for you.

You can't believe anything he says.

If someone like him can love, perhaps there is some hope for this world.

Take this as token of my love.

Upon this I pledge my heart to you forever.

Why do you need all this?

I wanted it, so I took it.

It's so unlike you to attack first.

I simply invited you here to talk.

Our past encounters have not inspired me to trust you.

It's crazy to even consider going!

I'm not interested in reminiscing!

Have you no respect for anything?

Believe me, I know exactly how you feel.

I will never be like you!

I do not wish to hurt you.

I do not wish to be you!

What am I to do?

Do nothing.

Do not worry.

Live in the moment.

Attend the petty angers and jealousies that fill your heart.

Fortify yourself with love and trust.

Fulfill the vows of love you make, for they can surely save you.

Time travel's funny that way.

Get away from me, you sentimental fool.

It's a pretty good likeness.

You know more than you're letting on.

T'was your handiwork.

very life is precious.

Take care not to become what you fight against.

Vengeance begets only a further cycle of more vengeance.

Do you want vengeance or a solution?

This is bigger than either of us has ever faced.

We'll have to work together to stop her.

Truce?

You are the cause of all this.

Humans will learn to respect you.

I would rather they fear me.

What are you doing to help?

That's one way to settle an argument.

I thought I'd rid myself of you long ago

You've forgotten about me.

You're too late. You can't save them. No one can!

I'm not here for them. I'm here for you.

I want it over between us!

I wear this as a reminder of your treachery.

Let's not start that again. You blame me, I blame you. Aren't you tired of talking about it?

I'm not here to talk.

Killing me will gain you nothing but your own death.

Death is never the answer. Life is.

I'm just so tired

Your thirst for vengeance has only created more sorrow.

I offer you one last opportunity for forgiveness and mercy.

I merely offer a sample of what you planned for me.

You have learned nothing.

I will still have my revenge!

What do we do with them?

You come in handy now and then.

I'm quite glad the plan worked.

I'm no hero, I just do my job, and my job for tonight is over.

All I want to do is hit the sack.

Why would you want to hit a sack?

How long was I out?

Even shadows must be true to their shade.

We don't need to wait for sunset.

Is it supposed to hurt that much?

Just get on with it.

Recognize the woman?

She seemed familiar, but I just couldn't place her.

You're getting real good at bypassing alarms

Don't give me credit.

It was too easy!

Maybe misery loves company.

If you're human, then you're subject to human laws.

Either way I win!

I fear no human!

There are forces at war within me.

I will return some day, if I can.

You sound like every human employee I ever fired!

Crush all of them together and you couldn't squeeze one iota of personal integrity from the lot!

No excuses, creature!

Learn to take responsibility for your own actions! And STOP whining!

Oh, I am trembling in my chair.

You believe I am not responsible. Yet I remain your prisoner?

Who said you're not responsible?

It doesn't matter that you were tricked, you know now that your actions inflicted grievous damage. Do you take responsibility for them or not?

Well, what are you going to do?

You seem distracted, having second thoughts?

We'll celebrate over breakfast.

No more excuses. I accept full responsibility for my actions. I was wrong.

Integrity is never easy. It's a daily struggle, a costly struggle.

I know I owe you a great debt for the mistake I made a year ago.

If the text wasn't new to me, it was at least worth revisiting.

All I know is I'm about to be wiped out!

It doesn't have to be that way.

I can break these chains. But only you can get me past the bars.

Automatons know nothing of betrayal or honor. They know only what they're programmed to know.

Only living beings possess the ability to change, and make new choices.

You've given me much to consider.

We are friends.

I'd rather not have your death on my conscience

You'll never reach the bridge!

You have two minutes until impact, one minute before I detonate.

I don't want any innocents hurt!

If it goes down, I'm going down with it.

I knew you wouldn't let me down.

Yes, well, you have that effect on people.

I built this company for you!

I'd probably give it to you, if you'd just stand up and ask me for it honestly!

Asking for it wouldn't be any fun at all.

'Fun' is still more important to you than honor. I can't understand that.

Well, maybe you'll have better luck relating to the next generation.

You should've heard him laugh.

Made my hair stand on end, if I had any.

Surely you know I am not in the habit of playing childish pranks or laughing maniacally in the dark.

Do you even know how to laugh maniacally?

Don't tempt me.

Typical. You do and do and do for them, and what happens? They twist the knife in you!

I think I've created a monster.

Have you ever considered the bounties of genetic engineering?

Or maybe cybernetics is more your style?

Save the horror show for Halloween.

I'm sure tired of taking punishment, and I'd love to be able to give some back

That's the source of the trouble.

I hope you not planning to eat your catch.

Now that I'm in charge, I'm not taking any more of your cracks!

You're barely our species!

I'm in charge, here!

I find him very attractive.

Well, that's sicker than usual.

I'm a partner in a freak show!

I should'a figured it was crazy to stick with this crew

And if you play it smart, there'll be plenty of lettuce for everyone!

I should get my own cable TV show.

Oh, me and my big mouth.

It is the cure! It has to be!

Of course it's the cure! You must trust me!

It was you all along! I trusted you!

You turned me into a monster and I defended you!

I'm sorry it had to turn out this way.

You always overplay your hand

Tell me something' Why me?

You're old, and getting older.

I thought you might even appreciate the opportunity.

Growing old terrifies you, doesn't it?

Nothing terrifies me, because nothing is beyond my ability to change.

True immortality isn't about living forever, man; it's about what you do with the time you have.

When all your scheming's done, what will be your legacy

You're still alive! It's a miracle!

Boy, the city sure is different when it snows.

Not a bad life, all things considered.

There is a cure. There must be!

You can't keep me in here forever!

I'll get out! Do you hear? I'll get out!

About time you came back.

Why did you kidnap me? What do you want of me?

See, it wasn't as hard as you made it sound.

Ah, you wish to be immortal.

If the procedure is successful, I'll release you.

This is just a sculpture's model. The real thing is life sized, and lifelike.

What's in this for you?

Service is its own reward.

I wouldn't even know where to start looking.

You may as well be of some use to me.

Open this cage, and I'll show you how 'useless' I am.

It's hard to top that.

What you seek demands a heavy price.

Death and old age have their price as well. And it's too expensive for me.

Without your sword, you're helpless.

Swordless? Maybe. Helpless? NEVER!

What you choose to do with your life is your own affair, as long as it's got nothing to do with me.

You're just full of surprises.

No, let him go. He's earned it.

I wish it hadn't turned out this way.

I was so close to finding out if the legend was true. Now there's no one to test it on.

Throw down your weapon!

Is this a whole city of fools and lawless ruffians?

I'm the law here, pal!

You are a guardian, like myself.

I will submit to your law.

You are learning.

It will take some time.

Prepare to do battle!

I have no fight with you.

What is this, merit badge test night?

Oh well, better make sure it's an uneven fight.

The weak are to be protected, not exploited.

Aaah, who died and made you king?

If you don't know anything, why were you shooting at us?

Do I really need an excuse to have a good time in my own home?

They say a man's home is his castle, and what fun would a castle be without a dungeon?

If it gets any more saccharine in there, I'm going to put a finger down my throat.

I'd sure like to know how you got here, but I'm programmed to shoot first and ask questions later.

I demand a favor.

Death is always pointless. That is the point.

I demand reparation! My son was cruelly and unfairly taken from me!

Death is the ultimate fairness. Rich and poor, young and old - all are equal in death.

Our planet cannot support so many lives at once.

I apologize for any trouble I caused in my efforts to reclaim it.

It seems I'm out of practice dealing directly with mortals.

It seems I am unaccustomed to dealing with a god

We have all gained rare enlightenment this night

Mmmm, what a peculiar sight.

Now, that's odd.

Do you often go wandering about at night, young lady?

My dear, are you saying you don't remember your own name?

I can't seem to remember anything. I feel lucky I know how to talk.

How did I end up in the middle of the Pacific?

I guess I could use a ride

I thought you looked familiar. We've met before.

Do you know what a scroll is?

Get your claws off me!

You might want to reconsider your request.

We're gonna die!

I will not let anything harm you.

You win. I'll behave.

I cannot believe you pulled the trigger on me.

Just shut up and land.

I just don't remember! I'm not even sure I want to remember!

I understand your words, I simply do not believe them.

You have been long expected.

This trough is filled with acid. In about ten minutes its going to do a very nasty job on that soil carving, not to mention your rugged good looks.

It's my first real stab at clichéd villainy. How am I doing?

How are you doing this? No machine can hold me!

I should sue you for trademark infringement.

I've always considered myself a trickster at heart.

History cannot be changed.

You will not win!

What are you going to do? Bite my kneecaps off?

I know from experience the transforming power of a child's love.

The future is not written yet.

I have a sunny disposition and I'm always kind to animals

I've always respected you as a fellow inmate

He's a fool, but he may be useful.

I can work with that!

Now, now! That's your friends' genetic make-up you're insulting.

You are master now?

I should've known. But why this subterfuge?

Hey, I live for subterfuge!

I do not want escape, I want vengeance!

There's no such thing as "a little" vengeance.

No catches. No tricks. No strings.

So, things have come full circle.

You know how I feel about you, right?

[yuckydraws]

I'm not sure if the matchmaking ask thingies are still open, but I saw the papyrus one and just had to try!

I'm female, straight (sorry if that's kinda boring. But I am kinda...questioning. Haven't been with a girl so idk if I would be if I actually had.)

I'm 5ft small (why is everyone I know taller than meee ;-;) a little chubs but not by much.

I love writing, singing and sweets.

I don't go out much and just kinda potato around when I don't have work. Serious procrastinator. Like I'm literally procrastinating Right Now while I write this out.

Insomnia game is too damn strong and I don't wanna play anymore.

My sense of humor is puns, memes and any other form of humor that most people believe belongs in the trash... but I am the trash so it's all good. Someone once told me my entire personality is memes. I thanked them.

Oh! Also stuffed animals. Lots. Of. Them. I have way too many because I don't have the heart to get rid of any of them, but I also keep getting more. H e l p .

So that's that and I hope that's enough for the thingy. If these asks aren't open still, just ignore me! Thank you for your time!!

(Just a note to anyone reading this, I’ve closed matchups, I’m just finishing the ones I have in my inbox so pls don’t send any in! Headcannon and writing requests are open tho! Feel free to send those in. Alright anyways, onto the matchup!!)

Also I feel like I should add, being straight isn’t boring or bad. If anyone makes you feel that way, they don’t deserve to be your friend. Okay now onto the matchup lmao:

I match you with…

❤️Pup❤️

(Fellswap Papyrus)

First of all… he totally understands the couch potato thing, he’s not the biggest fan of going anywhere he doesn’t have to. However he is surprisingly outdoorsy, and he might invite you to go on a scenic walk. He also likes simple dates like coffee or bakery shop dates where you guys can eat all the sweets you could ever want. He’s totally chill with a home date too though. Pop in a movie… maybe build a fort… and he can cuddle with you the whole time???? Um yes please.

He loves sweets too, and he’ll be happy that you both share that love. This man has a serious sweet tooth. He’s like a little (well actually kind of big, he’s 6’6) goblin that can sniff out sweets from a mile away.

Also you like singing???? Can… can he listen?? Please?

If you aren’t comfortable he wouldn’t push it, but if you do let him listen to you?? Oh stars he’s all ears. Fun fact: if you sing him a relaxing song while cuddling? You’ll be able to feel him relax and soon enough he’s asleep. He might purr a bit too (He’s the biggest and easiest purrer of all of them). He really loves your voice.

Also memes? He’s in the same boat. He’ll send you anything that makes him chuckle and he’ll reference memes whenever he gets the chance. He loves it when you guys get in that giggly mood where everything is funny and you just can’t stop laughing. It’s just pure happiness.

However… puns? He’s not the biggest fan. He likes them, sure, but he’s heard so many from his brother, Vant, and he’s kind of sick of skeleton related ones. It’ll take a really good one to get him laughing. If you wanna tease and torture him a bit, just make any skeleton related ones. He’s heard them all. And he’ll be cringing for sure whining at you to stop. But he’s smiling too.

He won’t mind your stuffed animal collection either, he has his own. Can yours and his be friends?? He has names for all of his. He won’t be any help in containing the collection because he will be buying you and himself more.

He’s and insomniac too, but honestly all he needs is someone with him to sleep soundly. When you cuddle with him at night he finds it’s much easier to fall asleep and stay asleep. However, he knows it’s not like that for everyone and he’ll be very sympathetic. He’ll do anything he can to help you sleep too.

Here’s a scenario:

You and Pup are sneaking in with more plushies after a date night. You both relax when you see the lights off. Oh good, Vant must be asleep.

Then the light flicks on. And there Vant is, sitting in the front room, legs crossed, waiting with an unimpressed look on his face like he’s a mom of a teenager that snuck out.

Vant: So, did you two have fun?

You and Pup desperately try to hide the stuffed animals behind your back.

You: Yeah! The movie was great, isn’t that right, love?

Pup: yup.

Vant: …

Pup: so, I think we’ll just head back to our room-

You: Yup!

You both awkwardly shuffle and walk backwards so that your back is never to Vant. Once you get into the hallway you both make a break for it.

Vant, yelling after you both: I better not see any more stuffed animals migrating to the guest room!!!!

Pup, ignoring his brother and holding up the penguin plushie he got all excited: i’m gonna name him waddles!

You, giggling and holding up the cat stuffed animal you got: I’m totally gonna sneak this kitty into Vant’s room!

[fisumisu]

ALRIGHT! I’ve now seen the new Cats movie!

My first thought?

”That could’ve been a lot worse, actually.”

Even if I didn’t absolutely love it, some of the songs really brought me glimpses of the happiness and excitement I got from the original musical, and dare I say it, I would actually like to see the new movie again.

I went to see it right after watching the old version with my friend (she loved it btw!) and so, the contrast was pretty big.

My general thoughts and some shameless ranting with absolutely no order *spoilers ahead*:

- I got used to the designs of the characters quite quickly, there were some I liked more than the others but my mind numbed to it eventually. "You get used to anything, except an icicle up in your asshole", as the age old Finnish saying goes (and that's a rock fact).

- However, I did not like Jennyanydots the Bodyhorror Cat and I am pretty sure the person behind every decision regarding her might be an alien.

-Bustopher Jones lost all his dignity. In the musical he is very respected and completely fine with being a ”bounder”, yet in the movie they make a joke about him being sensitive about it. I also could’ve done without seeing cat men and women wolf down garbage.

- Apparently falling and tripping on things is still concidered to be peak humor in Hollywood.

- (maybe thanks to that) Instead of the humor coming from just their body language, they relied more on the spoken gags. Most of them are pretty meh. However, I’ll never forget the ”Is he neutered? That note was kiiinda high...” line, ’cause, whoa... wow... damn... Didn’t expect that. Lmao.

- Speaking of the Rum Tum Tugger... well, let’s just say John Partridge will probably keep the mantle of being the best Tugger forever. Derulo has a good voice but the whole design given to his character and the way they had downgraded his importance in the movie made him a tad forgettable.

- Also, Jellicle cats do not have cheerful faces, actually Jellicle cats seem rather mean.

- The ”Touch me!” Part of Memory lost most of its meaning since the importance of touch was never implied in the movie. I’m also annoyed that the directors didn’t tell the actor of Grizabella (Jennifer Hudson) to go a bit easier on her first two appearances and do the full blast crying scene at the end when she’s pleading the other cats to accept her. Her emotion was seriously amazing, but because it was too strong right from the start, she lost the wow moment she could’ve had at the end. It wasn’t her fault, Memory is supposed to be an emotional roller coaster, but she should’ve been directed better.

- I prefer Grizabella being much older looking overall, even in the musical productions, since the comparison between how the Jellicles behave towards Gus and Grizabella is quite an important point to me. If they are both older cats, it’s easier to see and the decision to send her to the Heaviside layer more justified. Yeah, Grizabella’s coat was a bit dusty and the corner of her eye a bit scarred in the movie but she was waaaaaaay too fine to think she’d need a whole new life to fix herself. Nope.

- Very important note: There definitely should've been a rule that cats with clothes should KEEP THEM ON during the entire movie. The whole deal with clothing was utterly baffling altogether. Some cats had cat sized shoes, hats, jackets and they seemed unable to decide if they should keep them on or be in their birthday suits most of the time. Plus, if some cats have clothes and others don’t, it’s just going to look odd. And hey, why is that one cat otherwise naked but wearing shoes? I don’t know man, nobody knows.

- Thankfully, Skimbleshanks the Railway cat decided he rather liked his pants and never removed them. His tap dancing number was one of the best scenes in the movie. He also had a proper excuse to wear cat shoes. Good job Skimble.

- Ian McKellen (the cat) had the kind of fur around his head I wish every cat on the movie would’ve had. I’ll never forget him saying ”Meow, meow, meow!” Or dunking his head into a bowl to lap water with his tongue. I actually got a bit teary eyed watching his number.

- I don’t feel that Taylor Swift’s Bobalurina was... well, Bombalurina. She was just some hench cat whose only purpose was to get everyone high on catnip and preach about Macavity.

- Honestly, I actually thought the whole Macavity song part was pretty neat! Hear me out (don’t scoff, lol). Yes, it was odd, but the way the dancers started moving when the golden flakes touched them was fascinating to watch. It was almost like a reference to the beginning where the cats couldn’t help but dance under the Jellicle moon and their movement showed that clearly. Storytelling, but with dance! Can you believe it!? I’m just sad that the CGI cheapened the dancers’ amazing performances during the whole movie since their movement looked odd at places thanks to the added fur. When there’s so much digitally added effects on screen, you can’t help but wonder, is this real or just animated?

- I haven’t said anything about Munkustrap, I notice. Maybe because I like complaining too much and had to get all the whining out of the way. Good news, Munk remains a good, good cat and he was definitely my favourite character, alongside with Skimble (who kept his pants on, as you might recall). Thank the Everlasting cat or the Maker for small mercies.

- Also, to people talking about Munk and Misto in this new movie, I see ya. My poor heart is quite confused since the song Mr Mistoffelees is, and will always be, to me (and many others) Tugger and Mistoffelees' song, and therefore can have that kinda romantic vibe. Since they threw Tugger out of the window, going as far as to make the two interract as little as possible, I’d rather eat my right leg than accept the romance they cooked up with Victoria and Misto. Since Munkustrap sings the first parts of Mistoffelees’ song in the movie, I can see why Munk and Misto could be seen as a new pairing.

I don’t mind if you like Victoria and Misto together, it doesn’t itch my bum what other people enjoy, so have fun! Victoria x misto is just not for me. If I had to choose who I ship in this movie, I’d probably ship Skimbleshanks with his hat. It’s a very good hat. You can’t see the CGI ears under it. Oh, did I mention Skimble's pants? They were red and he kept them on throughout the whole movie.

- (just remembered) Victoria singing Beautiful Ghosts to Grizabella immediately after Grizabella ended her second part of Memory, reminded me of that Tall Girl meme from last year. Like, “You think your life is hard?" *bursts into song*

- Macavity being so desperate about getting to the Heaviside layer was actually pretty hilarious and the whole thing about him vanishing all the other “contestants” was something new and unexpected. Didn’t really mind it. I just wish the big finale would’ve been Mistoffelees making all the vanished cats appear again.

- Judyteronomy teleporting behind everyone after Mistoffelees song made me laugh.

- Mistoffelees believing in himself at the end of the movie was pretty wholesome.

- Hey! Macavity’s fur actually looked a bit red when the light hit it from just the right angle and the stars aligned! I wonder if that was one of the features they added when they did the updates. Maybe that's why they couldn't afford to give people cat noses. Oh well.

And that’s all for now!

This is already pretty long and got kinda outta hand. Thanks if you read this whole thing! I just wanted to vent and gather my thoughts about the movie. I love to nitpick and poke at stuff. I hope I didn't come across too negative or say only things everyone and their mothers have already talked about. The movie was far from perfect but in this nice safe bubble of ours no one should feel ashamed of liking something Cats the musical related. I'm actually itching to see this again, in all its horrifying glory, because despite all its flaws and things I wish they would've done differently, it's still Cats and some of the songs and scenes absolutely, quite positively slapped.

If you, for some unthinkable reason, would like to know my thoughts on a specific scene or thing in the new Cats movie, or just anything Cats related, feel free to ask me!

Toodle pip!

[post-itpenny]

The Challenge

So this is completely ridiculous but I’ve had the idea for a while and just really wanted to try writing some Dead By Daylight.

Yeah this is definitely ridiculous.

There were few things they could take comfort in while trapped in this never ending nightmare that the survivors called “The Game.”

The first being that despite how twisted and horrifying the game was, it did still have some semblance of a set of rules that both survivors and killers alike had to follow.

The second being that for some reason, despite coming from different countries and languages, they could all understand each other. They heard each other in their own languages except or obvious accents. It was strange and unnerving, something that became more disturbing as more and more survivors came claiming to be from different decades.

Jane speculated it was because they were dead, explaining to the others the last thing she remembered was flying off the road thanks to some black ice. Adam added that he had been in a train crash which he was certain he should not have survived. It was Kate that pointed out she had been literally yanked out of reality by The Entity and dropped by the campfire. Several others could attest getting lost or just walking into the fog by complete accident.

Perhaps it was another rule they didn’t fully understand. But then again, communication was vital during a trial. Regardless of the reasoning of The Entity the survivors all agreed it was a small comfort being able to speak with each other.

Which led to how everything started.

Dwight, Claudette, Nea, and Jeff had been pulled into a trial. The anxiety that came with waiting for those in a trial to return never lessoned. There had been a handful of survivors that only lasted a few rounds before completely breaking, dying in a trial and not returning to the campfire. No one wanted to think about what may have happened to those few but the fear someone else would break was always present.

Fifteen minutes in and Dwight had appeared, his clothes muddy and torn. The look on his face said it all- a mori.

“Ghost Face,” he groaned, “‘Dette was hooked and I ran to help her. Should have known it was too easy since he had already gotten me once.” Dwight sighed as he shrugged off his shirt and took the offered needle and thread from Quinten. The Entity could repair broken bones and gored flesh; heck, it even fixed Dwight’s glasses more than once. But it was apparently not a tailor.

From across the campfire Bill shook his head as he took a drag of his cigarette, “how the hell did he get you so fast boy?”

“It wasn’t my fault,” Dwight snapped back with a slight whine in his voice, “I spawned in right next to the guy. I didn’t have a chance.”

Half an hour later the other three came back, Claudette seemed��. dumbfounded.

Nea was laughing hysterically.

“I would have paid anything the see his fuckin’ face!” She cackled. “You guys, guys! You won’t believe it!”

Apparently Nea had also tried to come to Claudette’s aid, hanging back in the tall grass as she saw Ghost Face pounce on Dwight. But then-

“So he’s fishing his camera out of a pocket and to take a picture and- an-“ Nea couldn’t continue, breaking into another fit of laughter. Claudette, who had seen everything, continued.

“Ghost Face took a selfie with Dwight’s body and Nea photobombed it.”

“He sat there for two minutes just staring at the stupid screen!”  Nea screamed between fits of laughter, Dwight gave  a huff of annoyance and half-heartedly shoved Nea off the log she sat on and flat on her back in the dirt, tears in her eyes with laughter.

Bill took another drag of his nearly dissolved cigarette and scowled. “That was bold but stupid, what if he turned around and stabbed you?”

“Oh come off it old man,” Nea scoffed, “pass me a cig from wherever the hell you get them from.”

“Nope, you’ll ruin your lungs.”

“Bill you-“

“So what's a photobomb?”

It had been Nancy that had asked, which considering it had been the 80’s last time she and Steve had checked no one could blame her. Confusion about slang did not change even if they could understand each other, the time gaps not helping. So it was explained what it meant to photobomb someone and as the realization of what Nea had done really started to sink in, most of the group could agree, it was hilarious.

But then two days later Ace decided it would be funny to sing “I Only Have Eyes For You” to the Nurse, leaving the apparition coming to a halt in her chase with Meg. He made it through the first verse before she seemed to pull herself together and swing at him with her bone saw. Ace died pretty quickly that round but that night at the campfire they were all in better spirits than they had been in a long time as they listened to Ace and Meg recount the story.

And so, the challenge was born.

There were several like Bill, Tapp, and Jane who saw it as reckless but even Claudette who was arguably one of the most level headed of them all pointed out that it wasn’t like anyone would die permanently. Plus, if it raised everyone’s spirits then wasn’t the risk worth it?

Even the survivors got bored with the monotony of one trial after another, so anything that could spice things up was welcomed by most.

It took some time to explain what a “meme” was, several failing since the best they could do was give examples that not everyone understood. But the idea got across soon enough and quickly led to Steve screaming “is that a cat?!” As the Demigorgon charged his way which led to Feng Min screaming “yeet!” As the Huntress threw a hatchet in Bill’s direction.

The Huntress didn’t seem to appreciate the humor as much as Feng Min did.

Perhaps the boldest came from Laurie who had at first been very much against the idea of taunting the killers in such a way. But she had been inspired, and there were very few things that could bring her as much joy as giving her brother any form of grief.

Kate and Quinten has been trapped in a corner of the ironworks, Michael staring them down as he prepared to strike-

But they were far more interested in Laurie who was standing an arm’s length behind him.

Michael lunged and they split in separate directions; Kate apparently being the unfortunate chosen as Michael chased her out of the ironworks and Quinten watched as Laurie followed right behind, just as stealthy and quiet as her brother could ever be. She followed him like this for nearly the entire match and when Michael did finally turn around to spot Laurie he skipped the usual protocol and went straight to a mori.

It was amazing and Quinten was well convinced Laurie could be just as dangerous as her brother given the right circumstances.

Many of them took turns playing like this, even at the risk of an early death the survivors found it worth it for just two minutes of a good laugh. They now had stories to share around the campfire aside from the mournful accounts of what they missed from their old lives. Even Jane eventually joined in, propping her arms up on a window ledge and holding a thirty second mock interview with an extremely confused Wraith with an imaginary microphone held out for his response.

They started repeating the antics of each other which infuriated some of the killers to no end. The Huntress especially really did not seem to like it when someone screamed “yeet.” But a challenge was still a challenge and the ultimate goal was to outdo each other.

Dwight often did not feel like a proper leader even though he somehow had found his way into the role. He didn’t like the idea of the others willingly throwing themselves in harm's way for the sake of a laugh. It already worried him to no end when Meg or someone else would lead a killer on the chase so the others could work on a generator. The theory that they would always come back as long as they had hope felt shaky to him at best. If The Entity could bring them back on a whim then surely it could just get rid of them if they proved too troublesome. It did make the rules of the game after all.

And yet…

Dwight was running as fast as he could, the leader of The Legion right behind him. He turned a corner and dashed for a pallet, hoping the killer had not reached a frenzied state yet. Dwight lept to the other side of the pallet and slammed it down in the killer’s face. He stood there for a moment as some speck of sanity seemed to snap and his brain went to autopilot.

Dwight dabbed and took off running again.

From behind him came a roar of laughter, spotting Nea he gave a grin as he dashed off into the cornfields of Coldwind Farms.

Later on he somehow made it out of the trial alive, giggling like mad as he sat down next to Nea.

“Did you see? That was amazing!”

“Y-yeah I saw you,” she stammered.

Dwight frowned, “look I know it’s not the most impressive but you still laughed-“

“That wasn’t me.”

“... what?”

“Dwight, that wasn’t me laughing. I was hiding in a corner, I wasn’t laughing.”

It was then Dwight realized the laughter he had heard was distinctly male.

Dwight slipped off the log in a dead faint.

[himbowelsh]

Jet lag & Webgott. I know the theme is PAIN but can I request something mildly to very funny??

a little fall of meme can hardly hurt me now  ( accepting )

‘make it funny,’ you say, at which point i instantly forget the concept of humor

By this point, David has become fluent in Joe’s bitching, whichever language it’s voiced in.

It’s an acquired skill — frankly, one he could have lived his entire life without acquiring — but knowing where Joe stands makes navigating their relationship a lot easier. When it comes to the little things, Joe wears his heart on his sleeve. If he doesn’t like a particular TV show, he’ll say it… loudly. When it’s snowing, he’ll agonize about it until David’s tempted to shove him outside and lock the door; when it’s too hot, he’ll strip without shame, hissing like a disgruntled cat all the while. By now, they’ve been dating long enough that David knows Joe like a familiar book, leafed through a hundred times over. Sure, sometimes he could do without all that context, but a working knowledge of Joe’s quirks makes dealing with him that much easier.

Joe Fact #263: He can’t stand long flights.

It’s not like he’s a nervous flier. He’s just… a lot to handle. Part of it has to do with Joe’s inherent restlessness, a genetic predisposition to never hold still for more than a minute; part of it is just Joe’s talent for being annoying. And he can be… really, really annoying. Damned obnoxious. He doesn’t read, he’s hardly interested in the movies — he just spends the entire flight complaining. Why can’t he get WiFi? Why can’t he order another gin and tonic? Why are the seats so lumpy? Why do you want me to close the window, Web, look at this view, it’s priceless —

Having the window open makes him air sick. Joe knows this.

It’s not a massive problem, but during any long flight, it becomes an inevitable one. Queasiness is just another thing Joe gets to complain about on long flights. Part of David thinks it’s all a ploy; an excuse to get up and move around the cabin, even if it’s just to hide out in the bathroom and try to get WiFi signal. 

To be fair — on their trip to the Amalfi coast, when Joe had to sprint to the bathroom mid-flight and stayed there for over an hour, he probably wasn’t faking it.

Flying with Joe is unbearable for everyone involved… so when Joe announces his new solution, David’s optimistic. They’re two days out from a trip to Hawaii when Joe reveals a bottle of air sickness pills — apparently “the best they sell on the whole Internet, Web, I checked.”

David’s skeptical. “Are you… sure you can’t just make it?”

Joe huffs, genuinely offended by the question. “Fine! This time I’ll just blow chunks all over you. In-flight entertainment’s gonna be The Exorcist. How about that, Web? Fuck.”

David rolls his eyes — but he doesn’t argue anymore. At the time, it seems like a testament to his self-control.

Oh, how naive he was.

The pills make it through customs in their carry-on bag — something Joe gloats about for the next half hour, like he’s just pulled one over on the government, even though David looked it up and medication is allowed on planes. While waiting for their flight, Joe insists on Cinnabon. Insists, like it’s the only thing he’s ever wanted. He pouts, he pleads, and finally he just tows David over to the stall without any forewarning and sits him down at one of the tables. (Joe Fact #312: Arguing with Joe while he’s got a pastry craving is like reasoning with a brick wall.)

The cinnamon bun in front of Joe is larger than your average infant.  “You ever heard of ‘tempting fate’?” David can’t help but ask around his own mouthful of pastry. 

Joe reaches over and smears frosting on his chin.

Without any delay, they make it on their flight in record time. Joe waits until they’re sitting, buckled in and watching the flight attendant go through safety procedures, to dig the pill bottle from his bag. A strange sense of unease churns David’s stomach, though he can’t for the life of him say why. Joe glances over, smirking; as David watches, he pops the two pills and swallows them dry.

“There. This flight’ll be smooth sailing.”

With four and a half hours of airtime ahead of them, David can only pray.

Joe’s not the researching sort — that goes without saying — but David has always been. He never takes a medication without looking up the full list of side effects in advance. When, twenty minutes into the in-flight movie, Joe’s head starts to loll against his shoulder, he’s not surprised.

“You alright?” he murmurs, turning just enough to speak the words softly into his boyfriend’s temple. Joe shifts, sighing heavily, and tries to straighten up again. It’s more effort than it’s worth.

“Might just end up sleeping through this thing,” he mutters. “Movie’s a snorefest anyway.”

It’s some movie about a dog. Neither of them have been really paying attention. “Okay,” David replies, keeping his tone casual. “That’s fine, just… get some rest.”

Joe shifts in his seat, making himself more comfortable. For about ten minutes, David stays very still. He doesn’t move; he doesn’t fidget; he doesn’t even breathe loudly.

When he looks over again, Joe’s dead to the world.

Oh, thank god.

David tilts his head back to grin at the ceiling, fist pumping the air without a sound — definitely earning a few sideways glances from other passengers, but he doesn’t care. Finally. After all this time, all this anticipation —

There’s no time to waste. He rummages through the carry-on at his feet, emerging with three large books, and headphones dangling from between his fingers. David drops his tray table, sets up his classical music Spotify playlist, cracks open the first book, and orders a Bloody Mary.

Peace at last.

The amount of long flights he’s endured through Joe’s whining… the amount of poking he’s had to deal with, the amount of dirty jokes whispered in his ear, all the times Joe’s stolen his books or drained his phone battery… he’s earned this, okay? As David leans back in his seat, it’s impossible to keep from grinning. Slumped against the window, Joe’s soft snores are easily drowned out by his headphones. They’ve got another five hours of flight ahead, and David plans to enjoy them.

Which he absolutely does, for the first hour. By the second, Joe’s got a specialty airline pillow under his head and a blanket tucked around him; David’s wallet is thirty dollars lighter, but it’s worth it. He runs his fingers through Joe’s hair absently, still engrossed in his book; after a while, he finishes it, and starts another one.

Somewhere around the third hour, Joe stirs, face smushing up against David’s shoulder. Gently, David repositions his head, only to find his boyfriend blinking drowsily at him.

“Hey, Web…” Joe’s voice is raspier than usual, thick with sleep. “How long’ve I been out?”

“A little while. We’re about halfway there.”

Joe hums, head flopping back against David’s shoulder. After a minute, he becomes aware of the blanket around him; a small huff escapes him, turning into a chuckle halfway through. “Aww, Web. Knew you cared.”

“As though I’d ever hear the end of it if you woke up with a sore neck.”

As though just to spite him, Joe cranes his neck at an unnatural angle to look up at him. “Wouldn’t be the first time we woke up sore together.” He pauses, thoughtful, then grins. “Wanna renew our mile high club membership?”

David shakes him off.

“Okay, okay, shit —“ Joe straightens up, disgruntled. Even sitting up in his seat, he sways a bit, as though rocking to turbulence no one else can feel. Davis observes as he gradually slumps against the window again, all the energy drained out of him. Mile high club — uh huh, very likely.

“These pills have any weird side effects?” Joe asks after a moment, brows furrowed. David rolls his eyes.

“How many times have I told you —“

“Read the fine print, yeah, damn it, Web. I get it.” Joe’s eyes scrunch shut. “They’re just not gonna — gimme an extra toe, or turn me green or anything, right?”

“No.” David diverts his attention, recommitting to his book with new stubbornness. “Orange, maybe.”

“That’s a color I can live with.” Without looking, Joe reaches over. Whatever he’s trying to grab, he ends up smacking David in the jaw. Hard, damn it. As David draws back with a muttered curse, Joe’s hand finds his chest; he gives it a few solid pats, maybe as an apology. “Mind if I sleep the rest of the way?”

“Please,” David rolls his eyes. “Be my guest.”

After a while, Joe’s snoring picks up again — and David is left to read in peace. He makes it through about a quarter of the next book before his eyes start hurting, and he finally has to set it aside. He orders a snack. He watches some late-night show. He doodles a bull shark on his napkin and daydreams about the white sands of Honolulu.

By the time the plane’s begun its final stretch, David is more than ready to start vacation. His pulse thrums with muted excitement, mind racing with all the things he wants to do as soon as they step off the plane. Every slight jolt of the plane as it descends kicks his anticipation a little higher.

By all rights, it should also jar Joe awake… but when David looks over, he’s surprised to find his boyfriend still sleeping.

“Hey,” he says, nudging Rip Van Winkle’s blanket-clad shoulder. “Nap time’s over. We’re almost there.”

Joe groans, shifting in his seat. When David tries again, he blindly smacks him.

“Jesus — will you —“ With a huff, David yanks the blanket away, leaving Joe bare. Suddenly exposed to the plane’s crisp air conditioning, Joe’s face scrunches up. He writhes in discomfort for a moment, fumbling around for the blanket, before at last cracking an eye open to look at Webster.

“You’re a sadist, Web.”

“I’m tired of watching you drool,” Webster retorts, busy packing up his carry-on. “Come on, rise and shine. We’ll be on the ground in a few minutes.”

Joe gives a drawn out sigh, as if it’s the greatest inconvenience in the world to ask him to be awake. Still, he props himself up. Over the next few minutes, as the airport tarmac slowly comes into view, he pulls himself from the syrupy haze of half-sleep, back into the land of the living. By the time they’re on the ground, he’s still blinking hard and rubbing his head, but awake.

“At least we’re had an easy flight,” David chirps as they make their way up the aisle.

“I dreamed I was on some tropical island, with a buncha pool floats, and the local girls were letting me eat fruit slices off their chests.”

“I already told you, we can’t do that in public — plus I have to wear sunscreen! I burn! Why do you want to eat fruit that tastes like sunscreen?”

“Just leave a spot bare —“

“I can’t stand tangerines,” Webster declares, cutting the argument off before it can take root. “Find a better fruit. If it’s pineapples, I’ll consider it.”

“That’s because you, like pineapples, are disgusting.” 

Joe suddenly stumbles, bracing himself against the ramp. On reflex, David catches him by the arm  —  but Joe isn’t falling, apparently, just steadying himself. When David raises his eyebrows, his boyfriend rolls his eyes and brushes him off.

“I’m fine, quit lookin’ at me like that.” A second later, Joe is on the move again. “Just a little jet-lagged.”

To be fair… David did enough research on the motion sickness pills in advance to know they made you drowsy. He just… didn’t look up how long it would last. 

By the time they’re collecting their luggage, Joe is lounging on a nearby-bench, half-asleep; David has to haul every suitcase off the conveyor belt on his own. He also has to hail a taxi by himself… and, when they pull up in front of the hotel, with Joe dead to the world against his shoulder, pay for it.

“Come on,” David mutters, dragging his boyfriend out of the car. “Home, sweet home.”

Joe wakes up just enough to blink at him in amazement. “Wow, that was some vacation, Web!”

The bellboy who comes out to greet them blinks at the sight of David, two suitcases braced against one arm, a comatose body against the other. With barely a word of apology, he deposits Joe on the luggage trolley. Joe, who seems delighted with this turn of events, just pulls his legs up. 

Hopefully the hotel has a big bed, because it seems like they’ll be spending their first night in Hawaii getting to know it well.

[celinamarniss]

Oh my god, so many asks! I love you and I hate you. 

(Thank you, I love you) 

From this meme. Long, so behind a cut: 

For evilmouse: 

13) Who is your least favourite character to write for? Why?

I’m going to address characters that I have written, and not those that I’ve completely avoided writing. There are definitely characters that I refuse to write at all because I dislike them or simply find them uninteresting. If I despise a character, I’m never going to write for them (the exception to this might be Boba Fett, who showed up in a story. I was nicer to him than I expected, but he was still a long way from the Boba of the movies). 

I’m going to say that the character I’ve enjoyed writing the least is Vader.  I’m sorry, I just don’t care about Vader. He’s a classic character, and I know that a lot of people are invested his story, but it just doesn’t interest me. Unfortunately, he’s such a major part of the saga I’ve ended up putting him in a couple of stories. He’s in one of my WIPS, and I am not looking forward to writing for him. Writing his scenes in Legacy was like pulling teeth. 

33) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

Well, someone just started wrote a story based on a story I wrote, and is there a bigger compliment than getting fic of your fic???? I’ve heard that several other people want to write in that ‘verse and I couldn’t be more thrilled. 

40) Do people know you write fanfiction?

I keep it a closely guarded secret from most people in my life, but a few rl friends know. All of those friends are fandom people, who “get” fic. They’re not in the same fandom, and they haven’t necessarily read my fic, but they’re kind and supportive. 

For jadedjo: 

18) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

I refuse to say that I have any WIPs that I’ve totally abandoned, because I always hold out hope that I might return to the idea one day. However, if I can’t figure out the tone/plot of Experiments this year I might give up on it. Experiments was my “Mara coming to terms with her horrible childhood” fic, in which she investigates the Hand program post-TTT. It felt like a big idea and I was intimidated by it, so it’s remained on the back burner for years. It might be an idea whose time as passed. I need to look at what I’ve written and decide if I can pull a story out of those fragments, or if they should just be cannibalized by another fic. 

21) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

Everyone in the fic whining circle, of course! 

The fearlessness evilmouse shows in tackling new ships and ideas, ThreadSketchy’s clear and precise prose, the emotional and thematic depth of frangi’s stories, KLC’s dedication and drive, atamascolily’s engrossing worldbuilding, the angst of JediDryad’s Counterpressure series, and JediMordSith’s vivid and emotionally charged writing. 

Of all your stories, I particularly admire The Void. It’s tense, grim, and surprising, and you impressed me with your whole cast of OCs.  

29) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

POUR AWAY THE OCEAN. I know exactly why it isn’t popular and I can’t blame anyone for skipping it, but it’s my little unloved baby that I always want to champion because it will never be anyone’s favorite. 

For door: 

3) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

Huh. This is kind of a complicated question because I used to write this long private series of stories for a couple of friends that featured highly fictionalized versions of ourselves in any movie/tv show/book series of our choice. Our own personal reader inserts as over-the-top chaos agents in silly stories that poked fun at genre tropes. I LOVED writing those stories. They were private stories that have never seen the light of day. 

I don’t write those stories anymore. I have several OCs that are very dear to my heart, and I enjoyed making them up, but I have to say that writing those stories about a trio of terrible fictionalized personas will always come first. 

4) What is your favourite genre to write for?

Most of my fic are some version of a space adventure, given that I’m writing Star Wars, but breaking that down into further categories, I tend to write romance, smut, action, comedy and feelings. I think my favorite is comedy, actually. Working out a joke or a bit of comedic timing is just so satisfying. I’m sure my sense of humor doesn’t appeal to everyone, but at least I amuse myself. 

I like writing jokes into non-comedic stories and a lot of my stories are pretty light and amusing, but the pure comedy stories I’ve written are: SWAK, The Punch of Supreme Friendship, Common Hazards of the Penumbra Sector, and parts of The Death of Jabba. 

10) In your xxx fic, why did you decide to end it like that? Did you have an alternative ending in mind?

I guess I could have killed off Ralrk in Monster Stories, but I didn’t want to be that cruel. It would have been a real bummer ending. 

I can’t think of any radically different alternative endings that I considered. Mara/Karrde wasn’t going to be the endgame ship in the Legacy series, but writing The Family Business made me too invested in that relationship to let it go. But it could have remained a casual relationship if I had ended Family Business differently. 

19) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

I started outlining a companion to Wizard of the Dune Sea but got distracted by other things. I hate abandoning a fic idea and I do want to go back and write it. I just need to make time and space for the story. I always meant to do a fourth story in the Non-Zero-Sum Game series, but never figured out the hook. It might be too late now for that series, but you never know. 

43) Has anyone ever guessed the plot twist of one of your fics before you posted it?

WELL. Wizard of the Dune Sea was supposed to be an experiment in how much I could keep the audience guessing, but the audience already knew what sort of stories I write, and I had the character names right there in the Ao3 tags, so they were on to me from the start.

[jinterlude]

What A Cliché (Prologue)

↳ story aesthetic made by @today-we-will-survive for the BA’s Summer Content Creator Exchange!

» Pairing(s): Kim Seokjin x OC (female) [feat. the rest of the BTS & OC best friend)

» Genre(s): Parenthood!AU, Veterinary!AU, Business!AU, Enemies turned Lovers Trope, Romance, Friendship, Humor, Fluff, & Slight-Angst

» Keyword for Event: Carnival 

» Warning(s) & Rating: Swearing / PG-13

» Words: 5.2K (5260)

» Summary: When people hear the phrase, “Well that’s a first...” it’s usually because something shocking or amazing has occurred. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case for one Park Sumin. Going from working in an office to visiting the local carnival, she had some rather interesting first experiences. Ranging from trying out some carnival food to questioning her engagement to Lee Seonghwa (AOMG’s Gray), never in her life did she think that she would run into someone her brain had blocked out for years. Can you say a fun filled summer that not only would change her life but his as well. 

◃ Previously | Next Time ▹

Prologue: Meet the New Neighbor

“You know…I have a feeling that you two would make the perfect couple someday…”

“By perfect, you mean that I’d want to kill him every waking moment I can get, right?”

“Nah, my precious little ray of sunshine. I mean that one day, you two will make gorgeous looking children to the point that I’m going to “borrow” one of them to pick up guys.”

A look of utter and complete disbelieve washed over her face as she felt her eye twitch just a smidge from her best friend’s remark.

And just as she opened her mouth to retort, an annoying voice rang in her ears. The one voice she took years of practice to block out him from her memories. Until that evening, she had long forgotten the prick that made her life a living Hell, but fate had an interesting idea of entertainment and unfortunately, she had become the main character of this stupid little sitcom.

God help her…

“You should learn to smile more often, princess! You might land more dates that way!”

“That’s it! Listen here you annoying fucking gnat!”

Eight Hours Earlier…

Letting out yet another long, exasperated sigh, a visibly tired young woman rubbed the sides of her forehead, trying her hardest to not only ignore the unbearable heat that lingered in her office but her rather extra chatty friend. The poor girl had honestly forgotten why she invaded her workplace in the first place. That was how long the rather one-sided conversation had become.

“Okay, Sowon, I love you, but please for the love of God get to the point.” Said the exhausted girl.

A tiny groan escaped Sowon’s lips as she narrowed her eyes onto her friend.

“I did get to my point, Sumin.” She flashed a bright smile further irking Sumin, “Now, I’m just rambling since I noticed you zoned out around the five-minute mark.” She stated, smiling sweetly.

Her bottom lip practically disappeared as Sumin suppressed the growl that brewed in the back of her throat. Did Sowon seriously ramble her ear off just because she tuned her out twenty-minutes ago?

If she had more friends, Sumin would’ve had honestly dropped Sowon years ago but alas, she didn’t. The career driven young woman had no time for herself, let alone go out and meet new people. She had always been like this ever since high school. She dedicated her time to her studies and a few extracurricular activities.

And that was exactly how she liked it.

She had seen her fellow classmates become a social mess. She had witnessed physical fights, loud, obnoxious arguments between love sick individuals, and that only scratched the surface of her high school experience and she gladly kept it that way.

She never dated. She never went to any of the sports games that were played at her school. Shit. She never attended any of her school dances, especially prom. Instead, she researched universities that had the best business program and weighed the pros and cons of attending them.

After days and nights of agonizing over which university to attend to, she finally settled on applying to USC because their business program was on par with those out of the country, and the rest was history.

Now, here she sat in her office chair while Sowon, who she met during her sophomore year of college in biology, stared her down. Her gaze intensified with each passing moment. That was Sowon’s superpower. Sumin didn’t know how Sowon does it, but with just one simple stare, Sumin submitted easily.

And quite frankly, she both despised it yet was thankful for it. It was because of her best friend that she slowly came out of her shell. She actually became more aware of her surroundings.

Go figure?

A few more minutes passed by and tiny whines left her lips as Sumin clutched important documents that contained hypothetical numbers of the projected money flow for the next six months.

“I can keep this up, sunshine.” Sumin heard Sowon taunt. She could practically hear the smugness radiate from her words.

Finally, the poor girl had enough. She slammed the paper down on her desk, unleashing the pent-up frustration that settled in the pit of her stomach.

“Fine! I’ll go to the stupid summer carnival with you! Now, will you please stop staring at me!?” Sumin practically roared, secretly thankful that her office was soundproof.

Sowon smiled proudly as she leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Done.”

Meanwhile…in a different part of the city…

Brows knitted together. Tiny drops of sweat trickled down his forehead. The sound of heart rate monitors mixed with his heavy breathing filled the operating room. This bright, luminescence bulb emitted this heat that felt like the sun was directly above the man’s head. However, he didn’t let it deter him from the task at hand. He quickly asked the nurse for his water and took a few sips through the straw before resuming the surgery.

“Sir,” The man heard one of his assistants speak, “Have you thought about the possibility of reconstructive surgery instead of removing the shard fragment?”

The determined man sighed before a small smile appeared on his handsome face.

“I have thought about it, but that would be the effortless way out. This innocent creature doesn’t deserve something that would only complicate her life some more, “He paused, wiping away a bit of sweat from the side of his forehead, “Besides, I think of this a big “fuck you” to that evil, cruel person that could harm a defenseless puppy. I’m going to save her if this is the last thing I do.” He finished with this sense of purpose flowing throughout his veins as he resumed operating on the puppy, praying that he wasn’t too late.

But luckily…

He wasn’t…

It took him the rest of the day to the point that he had his receptionist unfortunately cancel the remaining appointments, but he saved the puppy’s life. The last shard fragment was wedged in an area where one false movement with his knife and tweezers, the puppy would've died right on the operating table. That specific situation had been every veterinarian’s nightmare, but just like with any nightmare, it sometimes fades away and soon replaced with a relaxing dream. A dream where resulted in this state of euphoria and great night’s sleep. That was why he took this job as a veterinarian. He wanted to ensure that the animals that came into his office left with a peaceful state of mind.

And so far, so good. His track record remained spotless. He could now go home with a bright smile knowing that he saved yet another brutally injured animal.

Currently sitting in his office, the tired yet happy veterinarian typed out something in the body of the email message. He muttered a few words as he read his paragraph repeatedly until it sounded right.

The sounds of clicking of the keyboard bounced of the four walls until this knock joined in.

“Come in.” He said quickly.

“Hey, Seokjin!” greeted the stranger cheerfully.

Seokjin’s eyebrows raised as he peeked around his computer monitor. He knew that voice, and that particular voice didn’t usually visit his office unless the person wanted something.

His eyes flickered back to the screen as his fingers resumed typing away, hoping that this email would be sent out before 7 o’clock in the evening.

“What do you want, Jungkook? Can’t you see that I’m busy?”

Jungkook chuckled, shaking his head as he flopped down on the chair in front of his friend’s desk.

“Yeah, I can see that. I’m not blind…well…not yet.”

Seokjin snorted, “I’m honestly surprised that you’re not actually. All those years of playing video games with the lights off,” He pushed up his glasses just a bit, “Guess I wasn’t blessed with a strong eyesight to begin with.” He said; the corners of his mouth turned slightly upwards.

Jungkook playfully clicked his tongue, “Yeah. I guess not,” A short chuckle left his lips, “But, I was wondering if you wanted to come with me and the rest of the fellas to the summer carnival that’s currently in town?” He asked, flashing Seokjin an overly sweetly smile combined with his signature innocent, charming gaze. One gaze like that and his older friends were practically putty in his hands. It came in handy during their high school years. Well…up until his sophomore year…his friends graduated one by one, so he had no one left to use it on.

Sad day in the life that was Jeon Jungkook.

“You do realize that this isn’t high school, and I’m not this 18-year-old teen that you can easily manipulate, Kook.” Seokjin stated bluntly, fully aware of his purely innocent “stare”. He didn’t even to peer over his computer screen to know. Jungkook’s tone of voice gave it away.

Though, that didn’t deter the young lad. It was rare for all seven of them to be in town for the summer, so he wanted to cherish it. As soon as Seokjin graduated high school, everyone just went their separate ways. Sure, they had their group chat that had constant activity whether it was from someone sending random memes or simply asking how their day was. But it just wasn’t the same.

Even though his friends didn’t know this, Jungkook needed them. He couldn’t quite establish a bond that matched the one he shared with Seokjin and the rest of his little motley crew.

They were definitely one of a kind…

“What’s with that smile, Kook? Last time you smiled like that it was because you found a lamb skewer stand with Yoongi.” Seokjin’s voice forcibly pulled Jungkook out of his peaceful thoughts.

“Oh, this smile?” He pointed at his lips, “It’s nothing…say…when is that little ray of sunshine coming by?” Jungkook asked vaguely, drawing out his sentence.

Seokjin hummed in response as his eyes scanned the last remaining sentences of his email. He could see the light at the end of the tunnel.

“Oh, according to her mother, she’s dropping off Areum this evening,” He quickly checks his phone, scrolling through his messages from his ex-wife, “Around 9 o’clock in the evening.” He announced, locking his phone once again.

Jungkook gasped; his eyes beamed from excitement. This was perfect. He and friends could spend a few hours at the carnival and then hang out with their “niece”.

“So, you’re telling me that you have time for the carnival?”

“I guess I am Kook…”

“Perfect! I’ll let the fellas know!”

“Don’t let me regret this…”

“When I have ever done something that you’d regret?”

“I can name a few things…”

At the Summer Carnival – 7 o’clock in the evening

Walking down the busy row of stands, Sumin’s eyes remained glued on her phone. Her brows furrowed as her thumb scrolled up while she read the contents of an email that she had received minutes before arriving to the carnival. Soft mutters left her lips as she homed in on an incredibly important section of the email. She reread the same two sentences twice before this unsettling, heavy sensation settled within the pit of her stomach.

The color practically drained from her face. Her breath hitched. She halted in her steps, ignoring the grumbles of the many bystanders that were forced to go around her.

A low groan escaped her as she immediately locked her phone and shoved it in her back pocket. Did she really want to be at this stupid carnival? She needed to be back in the office and working on soothing this rather extreme angry client, that was “miraculously” bestowed upon her thanks to her supervisor. Why was she even here again?

“Sumin! Check out this stand, they have those churros that you’re basically obsessed with!” She heard Sowon shout with glee, waving her arms sporadically.

Oh…

That was right…

She was here because of her dearest friend…

“I think I’m going to call it, Sowon. I have to get up pretty early tomorrow, and—”

“No ‘and’. I know that look on your face, my little sunshine, and I’m not completely oblivious. I saw you on your phone and your eyes widened with each passing second.” Sowon interrupted, leaving her spot in the line and walking up to her completely distressed friend, “Which means in the world of Sumin, you’re extremely stressed and about to leave this relaxing sister-date to head back to the office and work on something that can honestly wait until tomorrow morning.” Sowon finished, smiling brightly. “Did I hit it right on the nail, my soft princess?” She added; her smile grew wider.

Sumin made a face; her eyes narrowed on her smug friend.

“I hate it when you do that…”

“I know you do…”

Meanwhile, while one crisis was averted, on the other side of the carnival, two fellas bickered over the last game ticket while their mutual friends watched both sides make excellent arguments on why he deserved the last game ticket. The only thing they missed, to make this verbal battle amusing, was some carnival snacks.

Stuffing his hands in the pockets of his black jacket, a gentleman with black-rimmed glasses and faded silver hair – that was swooped to the right – leaned against the wall; an amused smile painted his lips.

“Are you going to stop them, Namjoon?” asked a young man with chestnut brown hair. His eyes sparkled with such innocence that many people forget that he was indeed in his mid-twenties.

“Nah. They’re fine Jimin. Besides, remember the last time we intervened on an infamous Seokjin-Jungkook argument?” Namjoon replied, shooting Jimin a knowing look. But just as Jimin opened his mouth to answer, someone else beat him to the punch.

“Oh, that was a fun evening!” shouted a cheery voice; a few chuckles escaped him. “They turned their wrath onto us, and even told Yoongi to shut up.” A sigh of content left his lips this time as he folded his hands and rested his head against the palms, “What a memorable evening.”

Namjoon nodded in agreement as he turned his attention towards a paler looking fella.

“I was honestly surprised that Jungkook told you to shut up, Yoongs.”

Yoongi pried one eye open, having checked out of Jungkook’s and Seokjin’s marital bickering thirty minutes prior.

With a lazy voice, he said, “That boy is lucky for not fearing me.”

“After being friends with you for so long, none of us fear you, my dude.” Chimed in the same cheery voice that spoke earlier.

“Hm. I guess I’m losing my charm, Hoseok.” Yoongi shrugged, shutting his eyes closed again. One of the many “joys” of being your own boss. He didn’t have a set work shift.

Hoseok beamed; his smile could light up any dark alleyway, before adverting his attention back to Seokjin and Jungkook, who still refused to back down.

Two hours had passed and not only did the bickering duo slowly ran out of the counterarguments, but their friends were extremely bored and wanted to enjoy what was left of the carnival.

Finally fed up, Namjoon pushed off from the wall and then walked up to Seokjin and Jungkook, pulling out his wallet as he closed the gap between their bodies.

“Tell you what,” He began fishing out a few bills, “Take my money and buy you guys some more damn tickets, so you guys can finally shut the fuck up.” Namjoon stated bluntly before slapping the bills in both Seokjin’s and Jungkook’s hands, knowingly hurting them in the process. He then walked away from them, gesturing for their buddies to follow him.

They were determined to enjoy the carnival before it closed for the night.

As their closest friends walked away, slowly disappearing from their line of sight, the squabbling duo turned to each other; this mischievous gleam sparkled in their eyes accompanied with this scheming smirk.

“That took longer than expected.” Jungkook laughed, flinging an arm around Seokjin’s broad shoulders.

Seokjin chuckled in response as he allowed Jungkook to direct him to the nearest game stand.

“I know, right? We must be losing our touch since before, Namjoon usually settled our “arguments” in less than an hour.” He stated as his eyes scanned the prizes at the booth. His lips pursed while his brows became knitted together as Seokjin contemplated which prize would Areum love the most.

This faint hum exited his lips as his eyes drifted between a huge stuffed alpaca and a huge stuffed panda bear. Then, after much deliberation, he finally settled on the alpaca since she loved to remind him that whenever he ate, he looked like a happy alpaca, especially whenever he munched on a salad. He could honestly hear her faint giggles in the back of his mind.

God, he would do anything for his daughter. She had him wrapped around her dainty pinky finger.

With a determined smile, he slammed down a few dollar bills and waited to be handed some darts.

“Alright, prepare to be amazed, Kook.”

Back with the ladies, who now held onto plates with delicious carnival food, they journeyed towards the exit, talking about everything and anything that came to mind. Ranging from the topic of their love lives – or lack thereof – to the ever so fun work politics that occurred during their daily lives. However, the most popular topic was their time in high school. While, yes, they went to two different schools, they loved hearing about the other’s experience. Hearing such stories made the other feel like she was there as well.

“So, whatever happened to the guy that stupidly stood you up at homecoming, Sowon?”

“Beats me. All I know is that he asked for me at my school’s little reunion event. From what an old friend told me, the way he asked was very creepy. Borderline stalkerish if you ask me.”

Sumin shuddered, “Things like that makes me glad that I didn’t have a social life in high school.”

Sowon chuckled softly as she quickly tossed her empty, Styrofoam plate and jogged back to Sumin.

“Yeah, but it is because of said social life that I know who my loyal friends are and know how to handle myself in certain situations.” She pointed out with a knowing gleam in her eyes.

Sumin rolled her eyes in response, signaling Sowon that she had won that argument.

“Let’s get you home, princess. I believe it is passed your bedtime.”

“What are you? My mom?”

“I might as well be, Min.”

Sowon then flung her arms around Sumin’s shoulders as the two ladies head for Sowon’s car and begin their journey to Sumin’s place.

Faint muffles filled the spacious car as flashes of light illuminated the darkness every other minute. Resting her chin on the palm of her hand, Sumin stared absentmindedly out the window; her eyes focused on the happy couples. Each face painted with the brightest and most loving smile ever to grace them.

Soon, a soft sigh escaped her as she pried her eyes away from the window. Though, while she no longer saw them, her mind was filled with thoughts of them. Thoughts of envy? Longing? That had been yet to be determined.

Which was strange to her as for the obvious fact that she too was in a relationship.

But…

“I just now realized that you are not wearing your luxurious engagement ring that Seonghwa gave you, Min.” Sowon’s voice broke into her cloudy thoughts.

Sumin’s eyes trailed down, landing on her empty left ring finger.

“I knew I forgot something.” She lied, faking a playful smile.

But Sowon knew better.

“Is everything alright?” She asked as she slowed the car to stop as the traffic light went from yellow to red.

Sounds of the turn signal cut through the awkward silence. Sumin hoped that the light would turn green so that she’d be closer to home but alas, it wasn’t the case. This was a timed light, and the timing of it was abnormally long for a traffic light.

She could stall, but that would only annoy Sowon, so why should Sumin even try? Her closest and dearest friend wasn’t stupid. If anything, she wouldn’t be surprised if Sowon knew that she was thinking of backing out of the wedding.

“Do I want to get married, Sowon?” asked Sumin, phrasing her question a bit oddly.

Sowon raised a brow as she shifted her foot from the brake pedal to the gas pedal, lightly pressing as she turned on to the street where Sumin’s house resided at. A house where she lived with her doting fiancé.

The poor girl looked unsure how to answer such a question. If it was a question that asked her if she wanted to get married, then the answer would be plain and simple. No. No she didn’t want to get married or at least, not right now. She so much desired to live her twenties to the fullest. Then, once it was time, she would gladly settle down with the right person.

And yet with Sumin? Sowon was quite surprised that she was having doubts. Out of the two them, Sumin would be happily married first with kiddos running amuck and then Aunty Sowon would help wrangle them and/or create more chaos for their parents.

But with this sudden 180, Sowon grew even more confused.

Did she have to kill Seonghwa? Because she totally would. No one was allowed to hurt Sumin under her watch.

No one.

Pursing her lips, Sowon hummed in response, as she pulled up to Sumin’s driveway, where both Sumin’s and her fiancé’s car were currently parked.

Before finally answering, Sowon killed the engine, and the two girls now sat in complete and utter silence.

“Alright, to answer your question, I know that you want to get married, however, is it to Seonghwa? Only you can answer that, love. But you did say yes to him for a reason, so that has to mean something, right?”

Sumin sighed heavily; her shoulders slumped just a bit.

“I did, I mean don’t get me wrong, I do love him with all my heart but—”

“But you don't know if it’s enough to meet him at the altar, correct?”

Instead of answering, Sumin gave Sowon a thumb’s up before exiting the vehicle and as she stepped out, a car pulled up to her neighbor’s driveway. A neighbor who she had never seen since their schedules always had them missing one another by a split second, so this was a first. Well, overall, this night was filled with firsts, so this wasn’t too much of a shock factor.

Seconds later, Sowon too exited the vehicle, shutting the door and alarming it. She then leaned against the door; curiosity slowly bested her as she noticed Sumin’s body language tense just a smidge.

“You alright there, sunshine?!” She hollered, cupping her mouth, though, she didn’t have to do that since they were not that far away from each other.

However, she received no response from Sumin for a good minute or two.

Until…

“YOU!!”

“YOU!!”

Two voices shouted simultaneously.

Alarmed, Sumin’s fiancé came running out of the house dawning his work clothes still.

“Are you okay, honey?” he asked, closing the gap between their bodies, as he gently rested his hand on her lower back.

“Yeah, I’m fine, Seonghwa. I just got startled by a familiar face is all.” She lied flawlessly, smiling sweetly.

Seonghwa hummed in response, not fully believing her, but he knew it was best to drop it.

“Okay. I’m gonna head back inside and finish up this project. Holler if you need me, okay, love?” He said, pressing a sweet kiss on her temple before disappearing inside the house.

The second she heard the door shut, Sumin’s sweet demeanor melted away and was soon replaced with the fiery rage that engulfed her body and soul moments prior.

“Wow. I’m amazed. You actually tricked someone into dating your strange self,” The intruder began applauding slowly with a sarcastic smile etched on his face, “I’m completely inspired by your story now.” He added, further taunting poor Sumin.

Sowon raised her brow, slowly going into defensive mode but held back as she wanted to see more of their reactions. In her life of knowing Sumin, Sowon only ever saw her little sunshine become this spitfire with her only. So, who the Hell was this handsome gentleman that easily riled her soft princess up?

She had to find out.

And maybe…just maybe…he might be the answer to Sumin’s tricky question.

A low – almost animalistic – growl escaped Sumin’s lips as she stomped over to her neighbor; their chests practically touched each other.

“Listen here, Seokjin—”

“I’m sorry. Can you repeat that? You might have to speak up, short stuff.” Seokjin cupped his ear as he leaned downwards; their noses merely inches away from bumping into each other.

Sumin’s jaw clenched and through gritted teeth, she said, well shouted,

“Can you hear me now, huh, you prick?!”

Seokjin groaned, jolting his body away, as he rubbed his poor ear while this ringing sensation echoed throughout his now muddled mind.

Damn that woman had a pair of lungs on her.

“I think you busted my eardrum…!”

“Well, that’s what you get for standing so incredibly close to me, dumbass!”

Tensions arose between the two as their blood slowly came to a boil. Seokjin and Sumin had history. A rather long history that remained in the archives until this evening.

Again, a night filled with firsts.

Just as Seokjin opened his mouth to retaliate, a laughter cut him off. He was secretly glad that someone else intervened. He honestly didn’t have to time to entertain the spitfire that stood courageously in front of him. His daughter was to arrive at any moment.

The last thing he wanted his six-year-old to see was him shouting at a woman.

“You know, we got to work on you playing nice with others, Sumin.” Chimed in Sowon as she walked up to the pair and rested an arm on Sumin’s shoulder.

“And may I ask who you are?” Seokjin questioned, looking a bit unimpressed.

Sowon held out her hand and quickly introduced herself, shaking Seokjin’s hand with her signature thousand-watt smile.

“Ah, and how do you know the pain in the ass?”

“I can ask you the same thing, Jinnie boy.”

“Jinnie boy?” He questioned, directing it more towards Sumin.

Sumin simply shrugged, “Just go with it.”

“Well, I’ve known her since middle school believe it or not.”

Sowon raised her brow; her eyes roamed all over his body as if she tried to decipher his hidden secrets.

“Interesting. Well, as much as I’d like to continue this conversation, I don’t,” She then turned Sumin around, “Time for bed, Min.” She stated firmly before guiding them both back to Sumin’s house, leaving behind a flabbergasted Seokjin.

“You know…I have a feeling that you two would make the perfect couple someday…” teased the taller woman as they crossed the threshold between Sumin’s house and Seokjin’s house.

Sumin grimaced, nearly wanting to gag, “By perfect, you mean that I’d want to kill him every waking moment I can get, right?”

“Nah, my precious little ray of sunshine. I mean that one day, you two will make gorgeous looking children to the point that I’m going to “borrow” one of them to pick up guys.” Sowon clarified, grinning from ear to ear.

A look of utter and complete disbelieve washed over her face as she felt her eye twitch just a smidge from her best friend’s remark.

And just as she opened her mouth to retort, an annoying voice rang in her ears. The one voice she took years of practice to block out him from her memories. Until that evening, she had long forgotten the prick that made her life a living Hell, but fate had an interesting idea of entertainment and unfortunately, she had become the main character of this stupid little sitcom.

God help her…

“You should learn to smile more often, princess! You might land more dates that way!”

“That’s it! Listen here you annoying fucking gnat!”

However, before Sumin could storm over to Seokjin again, Sowon blocked her path.

“Alright, young lady, someone’s getting cranky. You march to your room and tell Seonghwa that you want to cuddle.”

“But!”

“March!”

Sumin frowned before submitting to her friend, of course, muttering a few profanities as she stomped up the stairs that led to the front door.

Once Sumin was inside, Sowon waited a few seconds before walking up to Seokjin, who appeared to be texting someone.

“So, how do you truly feel about Sumin?”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

Seokjin’s face remained blank, “I tolerate her existence. Why?”

“I asked how you truly feel about her, not lie about it.” Sowon stated, shooting him a knowing look.

Seokjin, on the other hand, grew unsure. What did she mean, exactly?

“Sleep on it.” Sowon suggested before walking to her car and finally head home for herself.

Seokjin watched the strange woman drive out of his neighborhood. Her words repeated in his mind. He was almost certain that he just tolerated Sumin’s existence. Sure, there had been a time in his life that he harbored romantic feelings for her, but he had been long married since then. Well, now divorced, but that was beside the point.

It was through that marriage that he had Areum. The light of his life.

Yeah, he didn’t need any other leading lady in his life.

Right?

Before he could fully dive into those thoughts, a bright light nearly blinded him followed by this obnoxious honking.

“Dad!” shouted a voice. A voice Seokjin knew all too well. The same voice that easily brought a smile to his face.

“Areum!” He greeted back; his face practically beamed. He happily waved as the car came to a stop and this little girl came running out of the backseat and towards him.

Seokjin knelt down, ready for the biggest hug ever. And just as she slammed into him, he protectively wrapped his arms around her petite body as the two fell onto the grass.

“Remember to behave for your dad, Areum!” chuckled an older woman, shaking her head as she walked up to the loving duo with a tiny suitcase.

“I will mommy.” Areum smiled as she became smothered with Seokjin’s fatherly kisses.

“Yeah, don’t worry Eunji, our little girl is an angel.”

“Whatever you say, Seokjin. By the way, did you know that our old friend Sumin lived right next door to you?”

Seokjin instantly became alarmed. How did his ex-wife know that? So, naturally, he asked.

Eunji laughed softly, “Just because you had a falling out with her, doesn’t mean that I did, so I saw it on her social media account that she moved to that house.”

“And you didn’t tell me this while I was looking for a place to live because?”

“Because I love seeing you make a fool of yourself in front of her.”

But before Seokjin could say something, refuting his ex-wife’s claims, Eunji had entered her car and clicked on her seatbelt. Then, he saw the reverse lights turn on and watched her pull out of his driveway.

She was always an interesting woman…

“Why is your mom weird?”

“I don’t know, probably for the same reason as to why she called you coward on our way here, daddy?”

“She what, now?”

A/N: I am back! Cue the fanfare and confetti canon! I’m honestly both surprised and proud of myself for not only picking up writing again but starting another series (low key crying because Our Second Chance isn’t done yet, but I am working on it LOL)! At first, I wanted to take the word carnival and incorporate the movie Sandlot and A League of Their Own into it, but sadly, I hit a bad writers’ block, so I just scrapped that idea completely and with the help of @softjeon who helped me with some overall story ideas, this came to be! Plus, it helps that in BTS World, Seokjin’s another story line is so cute, especially with the little girl (who of course makes an appearance as his daughter in this short series <3) being kind of hard to please. Yes, make Jinnie work for it! 

But anyway, as of right now, I don’t have a set schedule for this as I like to write whenever I have both the time and inspiration but knowing me, I’ll start releasing updates over the course of Autumn/Winter along with the last chapters of Our Second Chance! 

Don’t forget to leave a like/reblog/comment/ask in my inbox! I love hearing your thoughts! :)

- Kim

[thefanficmonster]

Know No Better

Streamer Gang & Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Platonic Fluff, HUMOR, Crack, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: A game of Among Us with this gang can never go without a halt for some spit-fire accusations and bickering, but throw their mutual friend Y/N in the mix and the chaos flares up twice as intensely.

Requested by my dear friend @thelittleplantlover  Hi darling! Thank you so much for being such a loyal reader and never shying away from giving me your full honest feedback. You are an amazing person, a lovely friend and a mutual I’m glad I gained on my Tumblr journey. Love you with all my heart, Vy 💕

“Yo, sorry I’m....late“ Charlie’s eyebrow raises as soon as he enters the Discord call, almost half an hour after the scheduled time due to difficulties with his wi-fi connection. However, neither his presence nor his apology are acknowledged, seeing as how he wasn’t even heard over all the shouting going on in the call. “Um, what’s going on here?“ He asks no one in particular, aware that he probably won’t get an answer. 

Surprisingly, though, someone does answer him - Sykkuno. “Hey Charlie, welcome. You missed a whole round and a whole debacle between...” The yelling voices give a clear idea of who this debacle is happening between: Rae, Corpse and Y/N. “Yeah, you can probably tell between who.”

“Yo, is that Y/N? Dude, I haven’t heard from you in so long where’ve you been?“ Charlie exclaims, eyebrows raising in delighted surprise, “What are you arguing about? Imma argue with you.“

“You don’t even know what we’re arguing about!“ Rae snaps, scaring the ever-loving daylight out of the newcomer that all but shrinks a bit in his seat, “These are matters the three of us have to deal with!“

You see, Charlie’s not one to press his luck - definitely not when the sweetheart Rae lashes out like that, reminding him that the impossible can be possible if you’re a strong enough believer - but right now, seeing as how he isn’t playing yet, he’s thirsty for some amusement even if it comes with the price of being verbally beat and battered by the currently bickering trio.

“God bless the day you three actually manage to deal with something by yourselves.“ He snickers, half-hoping Rae wouldn’t hear him. Actually, it’s more one third hoping she wouldn’t the other two suggesting otherwise. Adding gasoline to the fire - it’s basically in his resume at this point.

The reply he receives is not even oriented around his statement and it doesn’t come from Rae - whether that be a blessing or a curse - but rather from Y/N. “Charlie, help! Corpse and I are being wrongfully accused over here!“

“There’s nothing wrong about my accusations! I heard you bribing Corpse into vouching for you, you impostor!“ Rae spits out the word as though this argument is a real deal and not just them throwing a collective tantrum as they usually tend to do.

“He asked me for immunity in exchange for keeping his mouth shut! I never offered it to him!“ Y/N argues back, “Not my fault he’s a corrupt crewmate!“

“You were about to accept the offer though! Who does that?!“ Rae’s not giving up her ground either.

“Anyone! All of you know you would’ve accepted the offer had you been the one to be proposed it!“ Y/N whines, reminding themself and everyone else that they are not a very argumentative or confrontational. The only time they can be caught butting heads with people is as a joke, among this very group of people and over something as small as a bribery in Among Us. “And why is no one going off at Corpse for this? Why am I the villain here? Um, hello?! I’m an impostor, I’m supposed to be evil. One of your own betrayed you, and I’M your biggest problem?!”

“I’d like it if you didn’t get me involved...“ Corpse inquires shyly, as though fearing he too is in for an outburst from Rae if he dares oppose hers and Y/N’s statements.

Unfortunately for him, he’s attacked by their joined forces with a: “YOU STARTED THIS!” Shouted at him in unison. Just like Charlie, he too shrinks in his seat.

“Hey Toast.“ Charlie nudges one of his friends, one he hasn’t heard from for the entirety of his short time in the Discord call, “You there?“

“Sup man?“ Toast answers, unmuting his mic for the first time after approximately ten minutes of silence on his end due to this heated debate going on.

“Ten bucks says this goes on for another ten minutes.“ Charlie says nonchalantly, already planning the cheap dinner he’s gonna order with those ten bucks.

“Nah man, fifteen for fifteen minutes. These two have no chill.“ Toast says, taking a sip of his soda.

“You’re both wrong.“ Sykkuno interferes, “I’m putting in twenty for twenty and I’m starting a timer.“

“WHAT?!“

The three men sit there paralyzed now that the two sides of the battlefield have temporarily united once again to end them. Lord knows when Y/N and Rae unite, nothing good is in store for those who they’re up against.

“N-nothing...I was just announcing that...“ Charlie starts off, strategically reaching for the plug for his router, “...my wi-fi’s gonna disconnect in three, two...“

“DON’T YOU DARE!“

And WHOOP he’s gone. And so are Toast, Sykkuno and Corpse.

“I really can’t believe them sometimes.“ Rae grumbles under her breath finding the miserable number of remaining players once again gathered in the cafeteria after no one got voted out despite everyone knowing it’s Y/N.

“And here I thought Charlie would back me up.“ Y/N sighs disappointedly, shooting a brief look at their chat, “Hell if I ever trust him again.“

“Look at the bright side though!“ their friend, moments ago opponent, hurries to comfort them as though their argument never happened. Technically, it really didn’t. “He’s at least not gonna get those ten bucks he sounded so confident in getting.“

Knowing Charlie, losing a bet will most likely leave him feeling torn, but hey, much to his comfort, he was the closest in guessing the duration of the arguing. You win some and you lose some, this time he’s done neither. But he will get an earful from Y/N at the first given chance they get, which he’s grown used to over the years, being the one knowing them the longest. What he’s still trying to get used to is how much they’ve clicked with his friend group. Never did he imagine his socially awkward and shy friend would steal all his friends and literally wrap them around their little finger. Truth be told, amazement aside, he’s quite proud of them for it.

Yes, of course he’s gonna try bringing this up when they open fire on him as an attempt to calm them down. Yes, he knows it probably won’t work. But also: yes, he knows what will. Cause that’s what best friends do - they know. However, they should also know better than to bet on their friends.

 But come on, it’s Charlie and Y/N we’re talking about over here - neither of them know any better. Hell, no one in this gang knows better. That’s what makes them so uniquely and wonderfully chaotic. 

@maat-the-prescriptive  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @itsminniekat  @hacker-ghost  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams @solowheein  @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01  @buddyemily   @the-albino-lioness  @stardream14  @gdhdkfnn  @nomadicgypsyy  @preciousskye  @fluffysuicideunicornsworld  @o-kaelin  @manacharlotte  @awkward-youtube-trash  @lolalee24  @bonky-beerns  @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian  @strawbrinkofdeath  @teenloves  @tams0527  @browneyespinkhair  @starstruckllamapuppy  @daisychains012  @y0ulooked  @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life  @jula-pauline  @melodykitty  @just-that-bi-girl  @crazybutconfidentaf  @lowellshade @alphakees  @bellero  @weallneednamjesus  @starryhanji  @boiled-onionrings  @husherstan  @fockingwhore  @melaningoddessthings  @prettypastelpetals  @haleypearce  @godwhyamiawkward  @y-napotat  @daisychainyoonmin  @little-miss-rebel3  @free-wheelin-bi-sexual  @redmoon261 @darkacademic2  @wiseflamingoqueen  @into-the-end  @namikhai-i  @nastiablr  @thelittleplantlover  @mirktuan  @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny  @vintagegothlover  @easygoingtheatre  @itsrandombooklover  @miiaivi  @emmybaybee  @befourgolden  @jjk-is-my-shit  @eternalteaaars  @spacebadgerx  @princesslunalight  @acequinn14  @samm48  @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa  @fo-love  @marishimomura-blog  @therealglenncoco  @cinnamonbun332  @killtherandomness  @sanshinexxxsan  @fee-btheweeb  @press-lay  @cathleenpotgieter16  @jazzydoesstuff  @moonlxghtbay  @forestrain2000  @hyunjinhugs  @blood-of-fandoms  @lovellylies  @ukiyolixx  @simpforhpcharacters  @chrisdylan17  @parkerjisung  @pedernille  @theodonyous  @wineandionysus  @malfoystilinskii05  @morbid-x  @coryisagee  @jessewa26  @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365  @raeanneinwonderland  @indecisive-empanada  @gluttonypalace  @loriane2503  @btsiguess-kpop  @khaoticbunny  @lucidlycactus  @smiithys  @rottenroyalebooks  @kpopgirlbtssvt  @fangirl-tc27  @fr0z3n-1  @notmesimpingfortechno  @shotarosleftpinky  @kunoi-chan  @idk-whats-wrong-with-me  @yikeroonie  @goldenstarofthunderclan  @poetry-and-tea  @ama-do-writing-stuff  @wishbonewolf  @emeraldxhope  @t0xick1tty  @kusuinko  @speakyourselfloveyourself  @sophia902103  @lo-manburg  @classsykittykat  @dmgama  @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee  @btsiguess-kpop  @akaashi-baby  @gun-jong-simp  @geschichtenfee  @yerapotato-wp  @browneyedgirl365  @thysagclub  @sparklycloudnight  @helloatomicshadow  @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal  @lucy-bunny17  @aaliyahh0  @katluckybear  @boyleanti  @straybids  @franchesca-791  @cosmicstorm19  @averyisbackinthetrashcan  @aomi-nabi  @xlanawriter  @allensimpsforcorpse

[onepumpofsyrup]

ON THREE, QUIETLY II Cha Hakyeon II Part 2

On Three, Quietly // Cha Hakyeon // Part 2

VIXX: N

Pairing : N x Reader

Genre : Fluff, Angst, Humor, Romance

Words :  1,600+

Summary : Trouble comes and goes for every idol. At times its best to combat it with a well minded publicist. VIXX though, hate their new publicists. She’s bossy, nosey, and seems to care more about her paycheck than them. Her only goal is to prove them wrong. Their goal is for Hakyeon to seduce her into leaving.

(A/N)This story is another huge ass thank you to all of my followers.

Part 2 

“Minhee...How much jail time will I get if I drop the VIXX boys off a cliff?” You asked while rubbing the aches behind your neck as you walked down the lengthy hall within Jellyfish Entertainment.

They’d made your first week together complete hell. Hyuk continuously acting a menace, stirring up drama between each boy. Hongbin refusing to work with you on anything, prefering to play what every video game sat in front of him. Taekwoon completely refusing to even engage you in any form of conversation. Jaehwan practiced his highest notes every chance he could get, probably in the hopes of giving you a headache. And their wonderful leader? Refused to do anything about it. Most of the time he would be bickering over one stupid thing after another with the others. 

She pursed her lips and ticked off her fingers for a few moments walking quietly beside you and Woon before finally saying, “Are you intentionally dropping them off a cliff? Or are you ‘accidentally’ dropping them?” 

“I’ll hide you from the cops.” Woon interjected.  

You scoffed, “What does it matter? Either way I’m done with the whole issue.”

“They can’t be that bad,” she stated. 

“Can’t be that bad?” you asked incredulously. “Can’t be that bad? I’ve been here a week. Yesterday during a meeting with them they all wore their stupid airpods. When I asked the maknae to take them out he said he didn’t speak broke bitch. He’s a person not a meme! Who do they think they are!? I had to send an email with everything I said during the meeting since they wouldn’t listen to me. Their previous manager has been no help. He just allows them to act like this and caters to their every need.”

“Sounds like you’re in crisis,” She snickered.  

 “Don’t worry! I’m on my way!” Woon cheered along with her

You glared towards them, “I am not in a crisis. But I am thankful that my lovely team begins today. You and Woon are going to help me get these kids into perfect idol behavior.” 

Reaching your destination you looked over at the two behind you. “This will be chaos. Woon, your job is to defuse the situation as quickly as possible. Minhee, you are to document so I know I’m not crazy and these kids really are out of their mind.”

They both looked at you with confusion as you slowly began opening the door.  

The chaos was gone. Silence was the only thing to greet you as each boy sat quietly looking down at their own phones.

Woon rolled his eyes, “Chaos huh?” 

Your teeth ground together. 

Just yesterday they were screaming and yelling at each other.

No one knew how to keep their hands to themselves.

And now they want to behave???

Is this their tactic?Make me think I’m losing my mind?

Make others think I’m losing my mind?

So I have to quit and move to Ireland and farm sheep for the rest of my life in silence!!!!

Your eyes closed as you took a slow deep breath. “Boys,” you greeted, plastering a smile on your face, “I want to introduce you to your new manager and the man who will be the head of your security.” 

Hakyeon’s gaze slowly moved up from his phone and over to you. “We’re not interested. We don’t need a change of manager and the security team we currently have is fine.” 

“Well,” Woon began, an evil glint in his eyes. “Your past security team has already been moved to another group. So either you take me. Or you just don’t have bodyguards. Which would you rather? Because either way I’m going to get paid. But I’d rather get paid for sitting at home and watching my Thai Lakorns” 

Zero reaction from the boys. 

“Okay, okay.” Woon shook his head up and down before pulling each boy into a standing position. “I’ll leave you all alone if you can prove you don’t need a bodyguard. Let’s play a little game I like called, ‘shove the pretty boys outside and see who gets eaten by fans first’.” He began poking and prodding the boys towards the door, making a train reaction of each getting pushed out of the room. “Lets go let’s go. My money is on you pretty boy, what’s your name? They call you Leo right? You’ll get eaten so fast. You look like you have zero survival skills.”

A slight tick formed in Taekwoon’s eye as he glared back at Woon. Displeased to be called out.  

The descent down the hall quickly turned to chaos as it dawned on each boy what was happening.

Limbs flailed everywhere as each boy fought to return back to the room. “I’m not going outside! Unless someone is planning to buy me dinner.” Jaehwan cried, actively fighting to get away from Woon dominating presence. 

“No one is buying you dinner until you can prove you don’t need me,” he answered. “If pretty little Leo doesn’t get eaten I’ll buy you whatever you want to eat. On your lovely publicists dime of course.” The last sentence was added quietly so only you could hear. He was rewarded with a snarl.  

Like hell I’m buying any of them dinner.

I’m not rewarding their behavior.

They want to act like children.

Fine.

I’ll treat them like children.

No fun outings until they can be nice.

“Hey, what they heck! You can’t just shove us around.” Wonshik whined pushing back towards the rooms.

Woon had the gall to look shocked, again blocking their escape back to the room. “Oh, I can’t? Because it seems like I am.”

“Enough!” Hakyeon boomed. “This is stupid. We know the building is surrounded by fans. We know what will happened. You don’t need to prove a point like this.” 

“If you know what’s going to happen, if you know you need a bodyguard, then maybe don’t be so freaking rude next time. Yeah?” Minhee stated, shaking her head at each boy. “You should be ashamed of yourselves. Being so rude to people that are happy to be helping you. What would your mothers say? Hmm? Miss (Y/L/N) left her position to help you improve your image and she says you’ve been nothing but difficult.” Each boy began to protest. “You can’t defend yourselves to me! I just watched all of you do it before you even knew my or your bodyguard’s name. You still don’t know and you haven’t even bothered to introduce yourselves. You should be ashamed!”

Wonshik, Taekwoon, and Hongbing all looked down, chastised. Hakyeon, Jaehwan, and Hyuk still held defiance in their forms.  

“I'm sorry.” Taekwoon said quietly. “This transition hasn’t been easy for any of us. I’m Taekwoon. I apologize for my earlier behavior.” 

Hakyeon’s eyes closed for a moment before he sighed. “It’s my responsibility to keep everyone in line. I’m sorry I haven’t made things easy. I’m Hakyeon, I’m the leader. And ashamed of our actions.” 

Yeah right.

You’ve done nothing but make things hard.

And now suddenly you want to behave because someone bigger than you challenged you? I

’m on to you cutie.

I’ll figure out your plan.

Clicking your tongue you moved to stand between the boys and Minhee and Woon. “VIXX, Minhee will be your new manager. Woon is now in charge of security. These two will take over as the people to oversee everything. I will typically be in my office doing your scheduling and planning. If I’m needed, you can find me there. Is this okay?”

A pout formed on Hongbin’s lips. “But we like seeing you every day.” 

Your face stayed stone. “You’ve seen me everyday for a week and this is the first time you’ve bothered to speak to me without creating an entire scene.”

Wonshik reached towards your hands, catching them in his own to swing childishly. “That’s because we love you,” he sing songed.   

You nearly missed Taekwoon’s wince as he ran a hand through his hair. 

“I’m going to leave you with Minhee and Woon, they are going to take you around to meet the rest of your team. This includes your new stylists and coordinators. I look forward to hearing what you think of them. If there is a problem,” You knew the next sentence would be a terrible thing to say, something that will easily be taken advantage of. “Do let me know.  For now, Hakyeon, please follow me. I have a few things I would like to go over with you in my office.”  

Each member looked towards Hakyeon for guidance before he gently nodded his head and moved towards you. Separating himself from the group as they walked in the opposite direction of your office.  

“Just flirt with her.” Jaehwan says.

“Woo her,” Taekwoon says.

“Wink at her.” Hongbin says. 

Yeah like it’s that easy to date someone!

Hakyeon’s teeth ground together as he followed you into your new office. 

It’s nice in here.

Spacious.

How the hell did she get such a nice office?

How much are they paying her to be a pain in my ass?

“Mr. Cha, can we call a truce?” You asked, a perfect smile making its way across your lips. “I’m not trying to tear apart your world. I apologize if that’s how it seems. So please, work with me to fix your image, and we can all go back to how things were. Once Mr. Hwang is happy with the progress of VIXX’s image I will be leaving your company and returning to work with Ji Chang Wook. Until then, can we make this a little less antagonistic?”

Hakyeon took a step towards you, and smirked when you took a step back. He continued this little game until your form was trapped back against your desk, him directly in front of you little air separating the two of you. 

“I’m sure we can come to some kind of agreement. Miss (Y/L/N). I would hate to make things so hard on you.” He whispered, reaching forward to brush a section of hair behind your ear.

What is this?

A bad 90’s teen romance?

Am I really doing this right now?Is she really dumb enough to fall for it?

Your back went rigid, body becoming hot and very interested in how close he was too you. You could feel the pink coming to your cheeks, unused to someone showing this close of attention to you. Your hands moved up  to push his chest away from your own. 

“I hope we can stay strictly professional.” You said, plastering another fake smile across your lips. “That’s all I wished to talk about with you. If you’ll excuse me. I have some scheduling to work out for you boys.” 

“I’ll talk with you soon. I know where your office is now, so maybe I’ll drop in every now and then.” He said with a wink before turning and leaving the room.

She’s easy.

This will be easy.

Just a little attention and she’ll be all mine.

[juminsmysticmc]

Could you do the main rfa and V with a usually shy and respectful Mc and have them find out that her humor is pretty raunchy/dirty/dark?

RFA + V with a usually respectful Mc who has a dirty humor instead (Smutty)

LOL of course! Here you are my love! I hope you enjoy it! 

Jumin 

Of course his love was a respectful woman

He amused by her shy appearance in front of other business men. 

But, he was honestly shocked when he once heard her talking to her best friend. 

What did she laugh about? 

,,Hahaha, you pervert thing….of course, I also like long banana’s the most.’’ you laughed. 

Jumin Han blushed, you just laughed with your friend about….a man’s penis…! 

But Jumin Han was also amused to have discovered your pervert side and wanted to have revenge. 

,,Jumin, you’re still not sleeping?’’ you asked him when you entered the room. 

,,No, I wanted to know if my banana’s long enough.’’ he told you and looked at you. 

You were surprised but then began to laugh.

,,Your’s is the best…’’ you laughed and kissed him

Zen 

,,Thank you.’’ you thanked everyone who helped you. 

Zen was really proud to have such a girlfriend. 

You were nice and smiled every time. 

Until he overheard a conversation with a co-worker of him. 

,,I wonder if the secretary at a sperm bank has ever used the phrase thanks for coming!’’ you laughed. 

Zen was ashamed that you said something like that to someone else and not to him… 

He would have loved it to hear it and tell you that your humor is really good! 

Well, to be honest, he was a bit sad that you didn’t show him your real side but he was happy to find out new sides about you….. 

,,Show me your pervert side, princess I wanna come…!’’ he laughed when the two of you were alone. 

Yoosung 

Yoosung never thought about something perverted. 

He was honestly a pure boy with pure intentions. 

And so he thought were you. 

You never pointed at something perverted or talked about sex outside of the bed. 

So he was totally shocked when he heard you laughing about Seven‘s perverted joke. 

But this wasn’t the end, you even answered.

Until you heard a loud thud, his butt on the cold floor. 

,,Yoosung jagi! Did you hear us?“ you asked him, a bit amused by his reaction. 

,,Uhu….“ he tried to answer. 

,,Seven…LEAVE HER ALONE!“ he whined while the two of you laughed. 

But later on Yoosung told you, that he had nothing against your humor. On the other side he asked you, if you could teach him your perverted side. 

Jaehee 

Jaehee learned so much thanks to you. 

But this little detail was kept secret by you. 

Well, even if you told her about your dirty humor, she would have still liked you. 

However she had to find out about your dirty mind by listening to you while you talked with a friend! 

You were in the kitchen and wanted to prepare a fruit salad when Jaehee heard you chuckle. 

She wanted to know why you were laughing and so she listened to you. 

,,Ahaha! I feel as if I‘m finger fucking this strawberry. Are you sure that this is a challenge and not your fantasy?“ you giggled but stopped when you noticed your girlfriend at the door. 

,,Bye, there‘s something I came up with…“ 

You were ashamed that she saw what you were doing but she on the other side wanted to know more about this challenge….

Saeyoung 

It was a normal day when you were in the kitchen cooking food for Saeran and Saeyoung. 

Well, Saeyoung was a bit against it, there were HBC after all…! 

But you decided to cook fish. 

Saeyoung: Whaaa, my future wife is cooking fish!

Zen: Wow, Mc is cooking, so jealous. 

Saeyoung: Not at all. It stinks! 

Mc entered the chatroom 

Mc: Well this fish is bigger than yours and the only one who will enter my mouth for the next two years. Go and eat your sticky chips.“ 

Mc left the chatroom 

Zen: Woah. That was….hilarious.

Zen left the chatroom 

Saeyoung: 😱 

I‘m sorry Mc! 

I didn’t know that you were like that!

Jihyun 

He never thought about this kind of topic. 

Nothing was taboo, he was open for everything. 

It was just you who were shy in his presence and so he kept his own thoughts and jokes to himself. 

He didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, after all. 

But his behavior quickly changed when he noticed that you were just holding back your humor because of him. 

A big misunderstanding, he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable and you didn’t want to scare him. 

When Seven hacked into your phone and send in dirty memes he was a bit amused by them. 

Well, also angry that his friend intruded into his girlfriend‘s privacy. 

But for now Jihyun just wanted to take pictures of you while you imitated the last meme in your phone…..maybe the last meme you will ever see, thank you article 11 & 13

MASTERLIST 1MASTERLIST 2

17.09.’18// 23:04

Tagged: 

@foreversunshine-love @giulia2372 @milkyxstrawberry @widya345 @remiliadacalde @sailormoonrocks666 

[erialcraeb]

Road Work Ahead? Uh Yeah, I Sure Hope It Does

Summary: Hank rediscovers old memes, and annoys the shit out of everyone.

“Captain, you asked to see me?”  Connor asked when he reached Fowler’s office.  Hank was already sitting in one of the chairs, looking at his phone out of Fowler’s sight.  “Yes Connor.  Come in please.”  Connor stepped into the office and shut the door behind him.  “Hank, would you like to do the honors?”  Fowler asks.

Hank looked up from his phone.  “Officer I’ve got one question for you.”  He started.  Connor tilted his head in invitation for Hank to finish.  Hank stood up, and pocketed his phone.  He placed a hand sideways over his mouth, so his fingers were touching the tip of his nose.  Hank took a deep breath before bringing that hand down to point at Connor’s shoes.  “What are those!?”  He exclaims, Fowler instantly bursting into laughter.

“They are my shoes?”  Connor asked, confused.  Hank finally stands up and pats the android on the shoulder.  “Don’t worry Connor.  We’re just messing with you.  Hank and I just rediscovered Vine, so we’ve been quoting old memes.”  Fowler says.

Hank and Connor go back to their desks not too long later, and everything is normal, save for when Hank laughs to himself about something on his computer.  But the day just had to be ruined by Gavin coming over and gracing them all with his presence.

“What the fuck are you so goddamn happy about?”  Gavin glares at Hank.  Before anyone can speak, Gavin continues on a rant about Hank’s work ethics.  Hank only rolls his eyes.  “Fuck off Janet, I’m not going to your fuckin’ baby shower.”  He then stands up and walks away, leaving Gavin dumbfounded.

The next few days were practically torture for Connor.  Hank would constantly watch, read and quote old memes just to ‘refresh his memory’ as he puts it.  He even made Connor look at some of his favorites just so he could join in if he ever decided to quote it.  One of these instances happened on a quick shopping trip.

They were at a dollar store, having gotten everything they needed for their impromptu shopping trip, Connor decided to look at the dog toy section to see if they could pick anything up for Sumo while they were there.  Hank took something off the shelf and held it out to Connor.

“Con look, it’s the good kush.”  Hank had a smile on his face as he waited for the android to reciprocate.  “This is the dollar store, how good can it be?”  The android said deadpan, just to humor the man.  Hank let out a victorious shout as he threw the object back onto the shelf and did a victory lap around the store, despite the strange looks he was receiving.

Hank was especially annoying about it when they were home.  It seemed that he was holding back when they were at work, but at home he quoted to his heart’s content to Connor.  Someone should give Connor a fucking medal for just how patient the deviant android could be with the older man.

“Hey Con?”  Hank asked Connor, totally out of the blue.  “Yes Lieutenant?”  Connor didn’t look up from petting Sumo.  “Do you remember?”  Connor is confused by the extremely vague question.  “Remember what?”  Hank suddenly bursts into song.  “Ah ah ah!  Ba de ya!  Say do you remember?  Ba de ya!  Dancin’ in September!  Ba de ya!  Never was a cloudy day!”  Connor was suddenly regretting moving in with Hank.

One of Connor’s least favorite occurrences was when they were driving.  Whenever they drove past a certain sign, Hank just had to come right out and say it.  “Road work ahead?  Uh yeah, I sure hope it does.”  During those times, Connor would internally decide whether or not to jump out of the moving car.

There was a day where Hank was quiet.  He had not said a meme all day and Connor was seriously starting to worry for the Lieutenant.  “Hank, are you ok?”  Asked the android.  “Oh hi, thanks for checking in.  I’m still a piece of garbage.”  Connor walked out of the room.

During an investigation, they came across the dead victim.  Hank sighed.  “This is so sad, Connor play Despacito.”  Connor furrowed his eyebrows, but the song suddenly began to play anyways.  “Lieutenant, I hardly think this is the time.”  The android said over the music.

Once when Hank was tipsy, he got Connor with a really good one.  “Hey Con?”  He tried hard not to laugh yet.  “Yes Hank?”  Connor could only guess where this was going.  “Have you seen up dog?”  Hank asks.  Connor’s LED circled yellow for a while.  “I don’t believe I have.  What is, up dog?”  Hank FROZE.  The man had never in his life, ever gotten that line to work.  He then proceeded to burst into tears of drunken joy.

Finally, there was one day where Connor wanted to retaliate against Hank.  So he prepared his prank.  He ordered a tape that would work in Hank’s old car with a tape deck.  When his order came in, he then loaded the song onto it.  Connor managed to get it into Hank’s car without being caught, and made sure the volume was turned up loud.

The next day when the two of them got into Hank’s car for work, Connor anticipated the moment Hank turned the key.  Suddenly, “Ocean man, take me by the hand, lead me to the land.  That you understand!”  The music blared loud over the speaker, scaring Hank slightly.

He reached the for volume button and quickly turned it down to a more acceptable level.  “Oh man, it’s been a hot minute since I’ve heard that song.”  He chuckled once the excitement wore off.”  Hank shrugged and began the drive to work.

It wasn’t until the song played a fifth time that Hank started to get annoyed.  “Connor, it was fun the first few times, but it’s fucking annoying as shit now.  Turn it off.”  Hank said.  Connor reached for the eject tape button and pressed it.  And pressed it again.  And again.  And again.  “Lieutenant I can’t, it appears to be stuck.”  Connor concludes.

“Shut the hell up, no it’s not!”  Hank barks.  Connor starts to press any of the buttons now and even tries hitting his hand up against the tape deck.  But nothing works and the song continues to play.  “Hank, I’m serious, it’s stuck.”  Connor’s LED was yellow now.  “Connor I swear to god!  Just hit the next button at least!”  Hank says angrily.

“Hank I only put the one song on here, it’s jammed.”  Connor concludes.  “I’m going to drive us off this bridge if that plays again Connor!”  Hank yells, the song ending for the fifth time.  The car is filled with silence then and they both let out a sigh of relief.

“Ocean man, take me by the hand, lead me to the land.  That you understand.”  Cuts through the speakers for a sixth time and Hank screams in anguish, beating one hand against the horn a few times.  He pulls the car over to the curb and parks.  Hank decides to just sit there, song still playing.  They sit through the song playing two more times before Hank finally says anything.

“Ya know?  It’s growing on me.”  He starts the car up again and they drive to the DPD.

Many months later, Hank, Connor and Gavin are tasked with dealing with a case far out of town.  “We can’t use my car because it’s in the shop.”  Gavin says, already walking towards Hank’s car.  When he tries to get into the front seat, Hank yells at him.  “That seat is saved for two people, neither of them are human so get your ass in the back.”  Hank growls.

“Lieutenant, who else sits in the front?”  Connor whispers.  “Just you and Sumo.  Sumo takes up a lot of space, so he usually sits in the back anyways.  But sometimes he’s brave and sits in the front.”  Is Hank’s response.

Ocean Man is still stuck in the tape deck, so that is what they have to listen to during their long road trip.  It isn��t long before Gavin breaks.

“Can we fucking play a different song?  This one has played on loop for half an hour now which means it’s played fifteen times!”  Gavin shouts angrily.  “Well Gavin, you lucky bitch, you only have to listen to it a few fuckin’ times!  We’ve had to hear it for three months straight because I refuse to drive in silence!  Now shut the fuck up and enjoy the trip to Hell!”

Hank doesn’t even spare Gavin a glance as he reaches forward and turns the music up louder to drown out his bitch whining.  “This trip is a fucking nightmare!”  Gavin shouts.

[iggytheperson]

34, Iori and Daisuke

[BrOTP ask meme]

34 -  “I think I’m dying.” “Tell me you’re being dramatic, please”

3,000 words

Iori really doesn’’t understand why Daisuke had all but demanded that they pair up, but he really wishes that he hadn’t.

Iori knows how to talk to Takeru. He knows how to talk to Miyako.

He doesn’t even have the first beginnings of an idea on how to talk to Daisuke.

He does know how to do maintenance on some broken buildings, and how to tell Digmon to aim a bit higher, so he tries his best to focus on those things instead of the awkwardness of not knowing how to make any kind of small talk.

Daisuke tries his best to do the opposite, and fails about as much as is humanly possible. Iori thinks that he might lose his mind if Daisuke asks him how he’s feeling one more time.

It’s painfully clear that Daisuke had a reason to pair up with him, and is struggling to articulate it. What that reason could be, he hasn’t the slightest clue. He instead tries his hardest to just focus on the task at hand.

The Flymon shows up from practically out of nowhere, and Iori is taken too off guard to move away from the oncoming attack. 

So it’s incredibly strange when he finds himself flying backwards onto the ground. And even stranger when the crash reveals that something is behind his back, and wrapping around him. There’s a massive weight on his chest and he looks down, only to get a face full of white fluff. He hears a straggled gasp of pain right next to his ear, and with that it clicks that Daisuke is holding onto him.

The world is still spinning as Daisuke gives a pained yell for their digimon’s help, and Iori struggles to put his brain back into gear. He needs to focus, now. What’s happening, where’s the enemy? What’s-

What’s sticking out of Daisuke’s back?

The world crashes down and narrows to that. The sound of Digmon’s “Are you ok?” is fuzzy white noise as he stares at a bloody stinger sticking out of Daisuke’s back. The sound of Daisuke’s shallow breathing sounds like thunder over the sound of the fight starting above them. 

“Daisuke…?” He squeaks, unable to manage anything other than that.

“Hey, hey…I’m ok, don’t freak out, I’m fine.” Daisuke says as he pushes himself up onto violently shaking arms. The position lasts for little over a second before he crashes on top of Iori again. His body goes into a spasm before stopping entirely. Iori almost screams before a gasp signals that Daisuke is not in fact dead.

“I…can’t move…my…body.” Daisuke rasps out through gritted teeth.

Paralysis. A Flymon’s stinger is coated in a poison that causes paralysis.

Iori’s mind goes into maximum panic mode, thinking of every most horrible outcome it possibly can as he slowly tries to get himself out from under Daisuke somehow without accidentally hurting him further. Every little what if. What if they can’t make it to anyone? Can the paralysis kill him? Could it put him into a coma? What can it do? What can Iori do? 

He knows nothing about first aid, he’s useless, what if Daisuke needs immediate medical attention and he dies because Iori didn’t know what to do? What if he lives but the damage is permanent? What if-

“Hey…Get that…scary look off your face. It…doesn’t suit you.” Daisuke tells him quietly. A horribly shakey hand makes it about a millimeter in Iori’s direction before losing movement again. 

With those flimsy words, Iori manages to calm himself. Ok. He can’t freak out right now. Daisuke needs him. He can’t mess up. Daisuke is counting on him. Everyone who needs Daisuke to come home safe is counting on him. He can’t mess this up.

Where does he…start? You…aren’t supposed to take the object out of the wound but…it’s poisonous, so that’s probably different, right? He should get it out so that there’s as little poison as possible. He needs a bandage…

“Daisuke! Iori!” calls Exveemon from above. Iori snap out of his train of thought and looks up to see…a lot more Flymon than before.

“It’s getting dangerous! You guys need to bolt!” Digmon yells, before disappearing from sight behind three Flymon. Iori doesn’t think about it. He hauls Daisuke up the best he can and starts moving. He makes it about five meters before Daisuke pukes. 

It’s not without a little bit of guilt that Iori’s first thought is “Gross.” His friend and leader is in grave danger, this isn’t the time to be worrying about stupid crap like being grossed out.

Though part of him really, really wishes that Daisuke had picked someone a bit bigger to pair up with today.

A buzzing sound that should’ve been getting quieter is suddenly very close and very clear. Iori looks up to see that a Flymon is swooping down directly at them. 

With no other option, he pulls Daisuke down onto the ground. They’re barely missed.

Cover, they need to get to cover. Now.

Iori’s eyes fall on the unstable, collapsing building they’ve been struggling with all day. It’s the only thing close enough. He doesn’t have a choice.

He gives Daisuke an apology as he starts dragging him across the ground towards the building. He doesn’t get an answer.

The Flymon comes down again, this time shaky and unstable from a newly melted wing. Thanks, Exveemon. With the added margin of error, Iori is able to get Daisuke onto the ground a bit less painfully. Though it might not even matter, as his leader isn’t responding anymore. The Flymon grazes past them by far too short a distance and falls onto the ground. It immediately starts trying to get up again and Iori does the same, scrambling to his feet and dragging Daisuke the rest of the way into the building.

The entire infrastructure shakes not two seconds after their entrance, just to make sure Iori knows that this isn’t a good idea and they’re not safe at all. He shoves his feeling of impending doom aside and turns his attention back to the injured party.

It’s inaudible, but holding a hand up to Daisuke’s mouth reveals that he is alive and breathing. Iori is immediately hit by a wave of relief.

Wait, no. No. Daisuke is still in danger. This isn’t the time to be feeling relieved. He has to get to work.

Iori moves over to Daisuke’s back, trying and mostly failing to fight back the nausea brought on by the blood staining into his jacket. Bandage…

In movies, Iori vaguely recalls seeing the heroes rip apart shirts or such to make bandages. A minute of desperate tugging at his shirt reveals that he’s not strong enough to pull that off, though. There’s…nothing he can use. What is he supposed to do now…? 

Daisuke’s jacket…appears to be absorbing at least something. Would that…work? Maybe, just for a little bit. Right. A little bit. He just needs to make this work for a little bit, yeah.

With this in mind, Iori gets to work. It takes him a few seconds to gather enough courage to grab onto the stinger, but once it’s in his hand, he pulls it out easily. Followed by the jacket, then the shirt. This last movement ends up being far more horrifying than it has any right to be. Oh god, why is his skin so cold? Someone wearing a giant jacket shouldn’t be…this cold. Iori feels another wave of painful nausea wash over him.

He manages to hold his cold, ragdoll leader up long enough to get the jacket tightly around his waist, and immediately runs into another wall of what in the name of god am I supposed to do?

…The others. He should call the others.

He has the d-terminal in his hands within a second and is already typing up the message by the next. They’re in danger. There’s a swarm of Flymon. Daisuke is paralyzed. To Ken, Takeru, Miyako, Hikari.

The message doesn’t send. He retries. It fails again. 

Again. And again. Iori feels like ripping his hair out with frustration as he continues trying and failing to send the distress call out.

“I…ori?” Daisuke whispers, so weak that the sound is practically drowned out by Iori’s typing. He makes an attempt to move, but barely manages any more than a twitch. Vomit rises up in his throat, but unable to cough it up, he starts choking on it. This finally gets Iori’s attention, and he gets down to Daisuke’s side again immediately. Daisuke is propped up, and finally manages to cough everything out with the minimal help of Iori hitting on his chest.

“Ah…haha. Sorry…” Daisuke mutters, giving Iori a painfully weak smile.

“I-it’s fine.” Iori says. His apprehension is more apparent than he’d like.

“Nah, not that…I mean. I dragged you out here…’cause I wanted to…be a good leader, and chat with you to be…better friends with you…or something.” Daisuke explains, before stopping to cough up more vomit. “And now I’ve got you…stuck taking care of me. Not exactly…the ‘good leader’ thing to do, huh?”

Iori isn’t quite sure how to answer that. Daisuke had wanted to…chat with him? He wanted to…hear more about Iori? That’s…actually kind of sweet, besides the fact that he’d been completely weird about it.

“Putting aside the fact that you’re a super awkward dork, I think sacrificing yourself to protect your teammate is a perfectly ‘good leader’ move on your part.” Iori eventually says.

“You…make it sound like I’m gonna kick the bucket or something…” Daisuke responds jokingly. Iori can’t really find the humor in any of this. Not knowing what else, he drops Daisuke onto his shoulder and goes back to trying to contact the others.

“Wait...heeeey, who’re you calling an awkward dork?” Daisuke whines softly, apparently only noticing the jab.

“The idiot leader who partnered up with me out of nowhere and tried to get closer to me by asking me about my day like, 13 times instead of just asking me to hang out with him like a normal human being.” Iori says.

“Nooo” Daisuke moans in despair. “My…*cough* reputation as a cool leader is ruined!”

“Nobody ever thought you were cool, dork.” Iori responds, trying to hold back his desire to giggle. Finally, the message sends. Thank god.

“You’re meeeeean.” Daisuke whines, and Iori can’t tell if he’s joking or if the poisoning is making him delirious.

“Alright, well, this meanie needs to go make sure our digimon aren’t dead, so I’m going to put you down, ok?” He says, not actually waiting for an answer and lying Daisuke on his side. Daisuke gives a weak protest to this, but Iori just ignores him and heads across the shaky floor to check outside.

Apparently, the injured Flymon had been waiting in anticipation for him, because it immediately tries to pounce on him the second he steps out the door. Iori lets out a scream as he jumps out of the way. The Flymon crashes into the doorway again, causing the whole frame of the house to shake in a way that makes Iori’s stomach churn. This was a horrible idea.

And now there’s a Flymon between him and Daisuke. God dammit.

Unable to come up with a better plan, he attempts to lure the giant thing after him away from the doorway. He accidentally ends up leading himself right into the heat of the fight. He can’t even see their partners anywhere, but he hears Exveemon’s voice cry out somewhere above him, and sees another Flymon crash into the ground before disintegrating into data.

He tries as hard as he can to not think about it as he darts into a narrow back alley, hoping to loop around back to Daisuke without any pursuers. 

He almost gets away with it, and makes the mistake of thinking that he really has when he sees the house come into view. But apparently, the Flymon caught wind of his little strategy, and climbed up onto the roof with the plan of falling down on him. Iori spots it gearing up to jump down in front of the entrance. Nope, not happening.

Iori breaks into a sprint and flings himself into the house. The thing jumps down, and turns around to screech at him, before rearing up and bashing into the house. A chunk of roof hits Iori in the head.

The Flymon starts wailing on the side of the house, and it becomes horrifyingly clear that the ceiling is about to collapse. There’s nothing to hide under, and Iori’s mind starts spinning as he tries to figure out what he’s supposed to do in this situation. He stares up at the ceiling. It’s…caving in closer to where the Flymon. Banking on this, he grabs Daisuke and drags him over to the opposite corner. Daisuke gives a weak sound of suprise, having apparently been too out of it to notice the commotion around him.

“Iori? What’s-” The roof caves in.

Iori feels like he’s gone deaf as he tries to figure out where up and down are. The thunder is gone in a second, replaced by darkness and dust and the sound of Daisuke coughing something up again. 

When the dust feels cleared enough for Iori to brave opening his eyes, he finds himself in a tiny, cramped little space with Daisuke drawn up in a ball next to him. The only bit of light comes from a tiny crack in the ceiling. He’s less worried about whether they’ll get out and more about how much Daisuke seems to be hyperventilating.

“Hey, hey calm down. We’re going to be fine. The others are coming right now. They’ll be here soon.” Iori assures him. Through the dust, something smells vaguely like metal.

“I…think…I’m dying.” Daisuke whispers shakily. Iori’s brain comes to a halt.

“…Tell me you’re being dramatic, please.” He says, as his stomach ties itself up into a knotted ball. He can’t breathe.

“That…wasn’t vomit I coughed up…just now.” Daisuke rasps. The metallic scent is suddenly a million times stronger and Iori thinks he might vomit himself.

Outside, he hears Miyako scream.

“They’re here. They’re here, you’re going to be ok. Y-you’ll be fine, ok? Relax, you’ll be fine.” Iori says, trying to comfort himself a bit more than Daisuke.

“Daisuke! Iori!” Ken screams. It’s screechy and frantic, but it’s the most soothing sound in the world at the moment.

“We’re over here!” Iori calls back. The protective bubble surrounding them shakes and caves in closer as Takeru and Ken can be heard above them, sounding breathless as they ask if the two of them are ok.

Iori says yes. Daisuke doesn’t answer.

They leave, and presumably Nefertimon and Pegasusmon start to pull away bits of rubble. Iori and Daisuke’s space gets increasingly smaller as everything loosens and starts sliding towards them. Daisuke’s breathing is nerve-wrackingly shallow, and Iori can’t get him to respond. In spite of himself, Iori starts crying.

Soon enough, the glowing holy binding drops down where Iori can see it and pulls a plank of wood away, illuminating the space significantly. Iori can finally see the sky again, but more importantly he can actually see Daisuke again. As well as the blood spit up over his shirt. He starts crying more.

After another piece is dragged away, Miyako’s face blocks out the sun to come check on them. She turns off to the side and pukes upon seeing Daisuke.

“…W-we’ll be in there soon! Don’t worry Iori, it’s going to be ok!” She assures afterwards. Iori’s not sure how he’s supposed to feel assured by someone who plainly doesn’t even believe herself.

It’s a long, painful wait as the rest of the hole is opened up. 

Eventually, the others surround the hole, and Iori lifts Daisuke up to them. Ken and Hikari carry him away as Takeru helps Iori out. He doesn’t get a second to stand on solid ground before his partner pulls him into a suffocatingly tight hug, which then turns into a group hug as Miyako flops onto them, sobbing.

“Hey. You did really great and I’m proud of you, but can you maybe never scare me like that again?” Takeru asks quietly.

“Yeah, ok.” Iori mutters back.

“…Alright then, good! You’re getting a piggyback ride and unlimited access to my snacks stash for the next 24 hours as a reward for being a little hero!” Takeru declares, picking Iori up before he has a chance to protest. Despite everything, Iori bursts into laughter. He hears a click and turns to see Miyako, now smiling, holding up a camera. He doesn’t bother telling her to delete it.

The next day, Iori is at the hospital, with a tub full of Takeru’s favorite chocolate mint ice cream that he’s constantly buying. Daisuke is about as overjoyed about the ice cream as he is about seeing Iori. It’s terrifying to watch him devour it.

Abruptly though, the feast stops, and Daisuke slowly turns his attention back to Iori with a nervous smile on his face.

“Hey I’m…sorry if I scared you.” He mutters. Hit by the sudden whiplash in mood, Iori takes a long time thinking of what he should say. Eventually, he comes up with something good.

“Well I…think there’s a way you could make it up to me.” Iori says with a laugh.

“Oh yeah?” Daisuke says, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah. Come hang out with me this weekend.” Iori tells him. Daisuke takes a second to process this before bursting into laughter.

“Oh my god that was so cheesy. I think you’re the dorky one, little dude.”

“Nope. Calling me ‘little dude’ just solidified your position.” Iori retorts.

“Oh come on! You let Takeru call you little man!” Daisuke whines indignantly.

“One, only sometimes, and two, Takeru is my best friend, you’re going to need to get some more friendship points for that, mega dork.” Iori claims jokingly.

“Well then I guess I’ll have to come to your house this weekend!” Daisuke says.

“Yup, you sure will.” Iori, trying and failing to hold back a smile.

They push fun at each other for a few more minutes before Iori has to leave, and he goes home thinking about just how much he’s looking forward to hanging out with Daisuke this weekend.