#thank you anon(s) for all the messages

[summertaters]

Oh my gosh!! I’m gone for a week and you make a years worth of wonderful things?!? Thank you so much!!! The angst, the fluff, the humour!! It’s all so goood I don’t know which one’s my favourite!!

I love more unhinged Hinata content, she’s such a little menace 😭😭 She would totally be the kid that has lured some kind of creature into her room that eventually multiplies 😂 Kacchako has to watch her like a hawk for sure

The soft doodles with silly faces mixed in always makes me smile. The range on your art from sweet gentleness to ugly goblin expressions is always amazing and I love it so very much!!

Villian Uravity is always such a fun concept, did you have any ideas about what lead her to this point or was it just pretty inspired by Arcane? I love the implication that she’s lifting up massive amounts of the Earth, her quirk has the potential to be so dangerous on a grand scale

I love the consistent return of your costume redesigns!! It makes me so happy to see your style and ideas incorporated into the little sketches and doodles you do. So glad you explored it more, it’s still one of my favourite redesigns!!

Sorry about the little ramble and I hope you’re doing well too!! 💜💜

Have a sweet kacchako doodle, anon~ You deserve it!

I think they'd eventually have to give in to Hinata's feral-ness on some level, and get her some kind of pet. I'm thinking a pair of rats, or mice, haha. Or maybe she'd find a stray animal that just keeps coming back.

Katsuki would be the most opposed to adopting it, but would eventually accept their new family member. He'd be the dad that says he doesn't want a pet, then have that pet favour him, and vice versa, LOL.

I have ideas rattling in my head about how/why she'd be acting villainous, but, you may just have to wait to get more info... Ehe!

But, YES. She has so much potential danger if she wielded her quirk for bad. I love playing with AUs, and 'what ifs'. I'm glad you enjoy when I play around with things!

Thank you anon(s) for all of your wonderful messages, comments, and compliments. I haven't had much time, or energy lately to respond to all of them, even though I want to! (I will try to eventually respond to them all eventually as I LOVE engaging with y'all)

Your messages always brighten my day, and I love your rambles! (Hello, fellow rambler here~)

[stormyoceans]

MONICA!!!! P’Dol from VV in an upcoming GL!!!!

(I googled her and she’s a doctor too!?!?!? Amazing!!!)

https://www.tumblr.com/kit-teung/765245366809624576/evryone-dont-move-theres-finally-a-butchfemme

SCREAMING SHAKING CRYING THROWING UP SPINNING COUNTERCLOCKWISE ON THE CEILING LEVITATING DOCTOR JEAB LALANA A WIFE TO HER WIFE RAISING CORGIS IRL FINALLY GETTING TO BE A GIRLKISSER ON SCREEN AS WELL AND NOT ONLY SHE’S GONNA BE PLAYING THE MAIN CHARACTER IN A GL SERIES BUT THE SHOW IS GONNA BE ABOUT A BODYGUARD WHO HAS THE POWER TO SEE 3 MINUTES INTO THE FUTURE WHEN SHE DRINKS WATER HAVING TO PROTECT A RICH GIRL FROM GETTING KILLED??????

I FUCKING LOVE TO WIN WINNING AND BEING A WINNER THIS IS TRULY THE TYPE OF HIGH I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO RECOVER FROM THIS IS WHAT I IMAGINE DOING COCAINE FEELS LIKE THE SHOW LITERALLY HAS EVERYTHING I LOVE IM SO EXCITED FOR IT I SIMPLY CANNOT SIT STILL

i'll be sad if this is really going to be her last work as an actress (thanks @ other(?) anon for the link!!!!!) but by god. WHAT A WAY TO LEAVE THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY

[fluxweeed]

hey. hope this message doesn't bother you. I love you. I love your work. you are one of my favorite fic authors, I am absolutely obsessed with everything you write. reread everything ten times over, drarry or not, fluffy or angsty - even when it absolutely shatters my heart (e.g. for lack of wanting, SUCH a great fic btw i'm so obsessed with it). the four doors? life changing. two to lie and one to listen? engraved into my brain for eternity. what's mine is yours? what a ride holy shit, im VERY normal about it. wrapped? my comfort read. and so it goes.

if I could aggressively smother you with kudos and love I WOULD!!!

awhile ago you said that there's no such thing as "big deals" in fandom and I 100% agree but at the same time you are a big deal TO ME!!! not in the sense of any kind of hierarchy but purely based on the fact that I think you are such a cool person and your writing is amazing and poignant and your presence in fandom makes it so much better. it's been a pleasure following you here on tumblr and just reading your tags and posts.

idk I just think you rule. that's it. thank you for hanging with us. MWAH 💛

ahhhh anon sorry for leaving this message sitting in my inbox for a couple of days but !! i have zero idea how to react to this!! you're so kind!! thank you!! please discard any and all inclinations u have that i am a cool person bc i can assure you i am NOT!!

[beloveds-embrace]

More poly!141 please and thank you my dear 🥰🤗

Anon is banished to the timeout corner to ponder on their grievances

That trope of roommates reader x poly 141…

Imagine you are Desperate with a capital D. Things aren’t lookinh bright for you, broke and stressed college student, right now in general, you need a new place quickly, and as it happens, you see an all-too-good offer while apartment searching on Craigslist. Rent is within your budget and god, the place looks really good, but…

You’ll have to share with four men. Four polyamorous men apparently, but still- men. More than one. That alone should’ve made you give up on it, not even think about considering it. It’s dangerous, incredibly so. No one within their right mind would agree to it, especially when you read that they are asking for someone who is willing to take up a good bulk of taking care of the place while they travel.

It’s clearly a scam. A front to a dangerous group.

But the apartment is even better when you actually, stupidly, agree to it. The (military, you learn soon enough) men so very handsome, helping you move in your stuff- the way Price commanded them actually made your knees tremble just a little, but you are not about to get between anyone’s relationship(s).

Moreover; you really like them. Soap is funny but he’s also the one who tries to stay up with you during your late exam studies. Keyword tries because he falls asleep anyways, head lolling on your shoulder only to end up getting carried by Ghost later.

Gaz is also funny, and he often forces you to go out when you hole up yourself for long lengths of time, get some fresh air on a walk that almost always leads to him treating you to coffee and sandwiches in the little corner bakery. Also the only one to share your love for horror movies so he’s your designated partner for whenever you wanna go to the cinemas.

Ghost and Price are your unofficial guard dogs. Grocery shopping? One or both of them tags along, carrying everything without letting you touch a single thing-

“What kind of man would let a lady carry groceries? I’m not weak, sweetheart. Let go of that bag, just see what else we’ll need.”

Ghost just stares straight down at you; no balaclava, but a black surgical mask and his hood drawn up. “Don’t even think about it.”

-and they are both bulky. They don’t even have to try to appear intimidating, everyone almost subconsciously makes way for them. Never in your entire life have you had easier shopping trips. And you’ve lost count of the amount of times you’ve stirred awake to find yourself carried to your bed after accidentally falling asleep on the couch.

They were not lying about the lengths of time they are gone, and you understand why they had put in that ad that landed you here in the first place. Once, they were away for months, and they have no contact with you. You always worry for them, regularly checking for any possible texts and sending them updates even when no reply comes.

(You have no ideaaa they have you saved as ‘lil missus’, ‘wifey’, ‘the madame’, ‘darlin’ in their phones. Or how much they cling to your texts even when they can’t reply yet. You don’t suspect shit, but the longer the mission drags on, the more resolved they are to just come home to you as soon as possible.

The second John checks his phone and sees your text about getting stood up on a date, his jaw clenches so tightly that Soap glances over, immediately concerned. The others quickly catch on, a tension settling over the group as he reads the message aloud.

Got stood up on that date lol

Guess its just me nd a frozen pizza tonight 🤷‍♀️ yes ik u hate frozen foods but ur not here sooo

If he wasn’t so incredibly angered by the thought of you going on a date that is not with them, getting stood up, he would have focused on your little disobedience. Would have thought of making you repeat why he hates having them in the flat while you sniffle and whine, the result of him taking his palm to your ass a few dozen times for doing this behind his back, but he can’t focus on that now.

“Let’s finish this and get home,” He hisses out at last, pocketing his phone. “Missus needs a reminder who she belongs to.”

All he gets, unsurprisingly, is approving nods.)

Back in the flat, you sneeze. How strange; you had just recently finished dusting, and everything should be clean.

It’s probably nothing.

a bit more

[burningblake]

any plans to read sw books include The Princess and the Scoundrel and Shadow of the Sith?

Hi, omg yes, they're on my list! As well as Bloodline. And then a bunch of comics, too <3

[yawnderu]

Pervy Ghost fucking you in your sleep and you wake up. Him convincing you it's just a wet dream. 🤍

Using my Pervert!Roommate!Simon AU for this one efbhjhbjfe<3 anon u just made the hottest fucking request holy shit

CW: noncon, gaslighting, somnophilia, creampie.

His hips thrust slowly into yours, not wanting you to wake up as he takes you, thick cock hitting every single inch of your gummy walls, hands busy keeping your legs open, brown eyes fully focused on your peaceful expression. You look so pretty like this, your body betraying you even when you're fast asleep, his cock glistening with your wetness every single time he pulls out only to slam himself all the way back inside.

''Mmh...'' You mumble softly, slowly waking up as your eyes focus on Simon. His hand comes up to run over the length of your hair, the other one cradling your head as he buries his bare face on the crook of your neck, planting gentle kisses in hopes of soothing you.

''Si...?'' You whisper softly, so drowsy you don't even hear the sound of the bed rocking and his hips slamming into yours, barely even able to register an awkward feeling on your crotch.

'''S just a dream, baby.'' His deep voice whispers into your ears, trying to be as soothing as possible to get you back to sleep. His lips plant gentle kisses all over your jaw and cheeks, tracing up to your lips. You're so confused all you can do is try to keep up, sloppily kissing back before turning your head away from him, eyes closing again.

''There we go, love. Just enjoy...'' You want to go back to sleep, but if it's all a dream, there's no shame in enjoying yourself with your roommate, is there? One of his hands is now groping your tit, squeezing your nipple between his fingers and pulling on it before he goes back to simply enjoying the way the fat feels on his palm.

You're now more aware of what he's doing, feeling every single inch of his thick cock ramming in and out of your sopping cunt, not even realizing how wet your pussy is until you hear the lewd sounds filling the room, soft moaning mixing in with Simon's low growls from above you. Your arms wrap around his neck, weakly trying to pull him closer to you. He gets the message, leaning down until his lips crash into yours, thrusts getting more brutal now that he doesn't have to worry about waking you up.

Simon is a messy kisser, saliva exchanged and dripping down the corners of your lips as his tongue wraps around yours, hands exploring your perfect body all over as he thrusts into you, cunt tightening around him even more now that you're awake.

He doesn't want to mess up, though, and he thanks whatever it is out there that gave him the skills to seem convincing even when he's close to the edge.

''It's a nice dream, isn't it? I bet you've been wanting this for a while.'' His voice is warm and friendly, a total contrast to the way he's fucking you like he hates you. All you can do is nod, legs opening slightly wider to give more space for his burly body to fit as he rams into you. A small whine leaves your lips after he becomes too rough, making him slow down slightly to avoid hurting you.

''You can take it, yeah?'' You manage to give him a lethargic nod, eyes closing again as your head turns away from him, sleepiness taking over you again despite the way your body is responding for you. Your sleeping medication makes it harder to stay awake, even when the perfect dream is going on. He's now fucking you nice and slow, hips rolling against yours while he plants gentle pecks all over your face, not minding that you're going back to sleep. If anything, it makes this easier for him.

''Rest, baby. You'll dream about me more often.'' His promise is the last thing you hear as you drift off to sleep again. He doesn't even bother being rough anymore, simply enjoying the way your cunt wraps around his cock, lips gripping it tightly as he whispers promises of everything he's going to do to you, ranging from sweet to downright nasty. He picks up the pace, looking down at your sleeping face with a warm look in his eyes as he fills your womb with his thick seed, not bothering to clean you up as he slowly pulls out, putting your panties back on your sleeping body.

[dreamings-free]

.

[yueebby]

hii omg I love ur fics sooo much they're really helping me recover from.. gege. I was wondering if I could request gojo x drunk!reader. like maybe they come back from partying with geto and shoko and are just completely tipsy. but they're reallyyyyy affectionate and flirty and gojo literally goes insane like his heart can't take it . bonus points if reader won't stop peppering him in kisses.

"you're sooooo hot.. and- and strong! ohmigosh are you single?" AND MANS IS JUST BRIGHT RED.

preferably fem-reader thanks ^__^ <333

drunk in love — gojo satoru

contents. fluff, established relationship, alcohol (drunk!reader), gojo being gojo, youre drunk and in love but gojo loves you more

notes. anon your request was so cute i just had to write it TT i kind of got carried away from the original prompt.. but enjoy this as a form of therapy from that one eyed cat!! ps i hate drinking so idek if this is accurate :>

the night had been long, and shoko is starting to regret letting you consume what felt like half your body weight in drinks during your night out in roppongi. impatiently, she checked her phone, hoping for a response from gojo to her text message. huffing in frustration, she turned to geto, “i thought you called him. where is that idio–”

"shoko, who is that?" in your drunken stupor, you shamelessly ogled the stranger approaching the entrance of the bar. shoko facepalmed as she watched your intoxicated heart eyes for the snow-haired man.

"she's all yours now."

gojo chuckled when he saw your inebriated state, "what did they do to you?" he had just returned from a tiring mission, but seeing you was enough to lighten the weight on his shoulders.

you shifted your gaze between shoko and the handsome stranger, causing mental whiplash. a mumbled apology escaped your lips before you left shoko's side to get a closer look at the man.

amusement danced in satoru's eyes as he observed you stumbling toward him. as the loving boyfriend he was, satoru wrapped a strong arm around your waist to prevent you from tripping.

you placed a hand on his chest to steady yourself, and couldn't help but notice the firmness of his physique. "so strong," you hiccuped, running your finger down his chest, "and handsome... are you single?" you blinked up at him with wide, inquisitive eyes.

suguru, watching from the sidelines, struggled to stifle his laughter as he observed his best friend's face growing increasingly red. the way you were looking up at him was driving him crazy. satoru cleared his throat and shook his head, trying to regain his composure though it was hard with the way his heart was beating so erratically.

"do you not remember me, sweetheart? your strong and handsome boyfriend?" satoru's glossy lips turned down in an exaggerated pout, and you gasped, confused on how you'd forgotten a face so beautiful. it was dangerous, how tempting the man in front of you looked.

giving in to your impulsive thoughts, you grabbed his face with one hand, squishing his cheeks together. satoru’s eyes widened as he noticed your intent on his puckered lips.

with an impish grin, you planted a series of quick kisses on his cheeks, then moved to his lips.“how,” kiss. “could i,” another kiss, “forget,” kiss, “such,” kiss, “a handsome face?”.

suguru and shoko watched in mild horror, as you showered gojo with affection. a dopey grin spread across his flushed face as he allowed you to have your way with him. he's afraid he might implode from the how adorable you were.

“i’m the most handsome man in the world, yeah?” he asks you with a grin, encouraging you to answer as he pulls you closer by the waist. satoru couldn't fathom what he had done to deserve this, but he would gladly repeat it tenfold if he could relive this moment once more.

you nod happily. “the most!”

“well aren’t you lucky to have me as your boyfriend.” satoru flashes his cerulean eyes at you above those dark sunglasses of his. just when you think he can’t get any hotter, he proves you wrong.

your friends' silent presence is suddenly shattered by laughter, jolting you back into the awareness of their company. satoru’s grin dissipates into a frown when he sees that your attention is taken off of him.

"'[name] is lucky to date him,' so he says," shoko giggles. "suguru, do you remember that one time satoru pretended to be a waiter at the restaurant [name] was on a date?" shoko not-so-secretly says to geto. "he got all drunk and then started rhapsodizing about how he was going to marry her."

satoru gasps at the memory of his awkward pining days. his attention quickly diverted back to you, anticipating your reaction.

suguru hums, “ah, or that one time he got distracted and nearly got us killed on a mission all because [name] sent a selfie.”

you pull away from satoru’s hold and he swears he feels all the warmth leaving his soul. his hands instinctively reach out to you, but you’re one step ahead, already making your way to the evil pair in front of him.

“really?” you ask the two, eyes shining eagerly.

shoko nods, an evil grin growing on her face, “you seriously never noticed that stupid dazed look he has when he sees you? even yaga has noticed it.”

gojo’s jaw drops at the sound of his best friends’ attempt to embarrass him. in his defense, he was just a man in love! satoru's infamous pout returns, and he’s trying to pull you back into his embrace and away from those traitors. to his dismay, you ignore him. did you even know that he was dying by the second without your affection?

“tell me more!” you gush, entranced with the idea that your boyfriend was just a lovesick puppy.

“is that really necessary?” satoru mumbles under his breath, though the telltale reddening of his ears betrays his indifferent facade.

“toru i didn’t know that you were obsessed with me,” a giggle erupts from you. to show your adoration, you turn back to cup your boyfriend’s face. he leans into your touch immediately.

“i still am y’know,” his gaze softened. your heart melts at the way he lowers his voice.

“i can’t watch this any longer,” the short haired female gags, searching her coat pocket for a much needed cigarette. suguru agrees silently, tearing his eyes away from the cloying display of affection.

you don’t notice your friends leaving while you’re too engrossed doting on satoru.

“baby– heh– we should head home now,” he groans softly, shivering upon your fingers tracing his undercut. if you continue this any longer, satoru's brain will be fried to the point that no reversed curse energy could fix. the effect you had on him was undeniably unjust.

“can you run me a bath when we’re home?” you pleaded, your voice tinged with weariness. after a night of drinking in roppongi, you felt the weight of the celebrations clinging to your skin.

satoru's lips curled into a playful smirk as he recognized the opportunity presented before him. "only if you'll let me hop in~"

a mischievous agreement danced in your eyes as you responded, "hm okay." you leaned in to place a tender kiss on the corner of his lips. satoru, his affection intensifying by the moment, gently gripped the back of your head and guided your lips back to his. gosh, he was so in love.

i was going to post all mine but im currently rewriting it so bear with me please !!!!

[archiverstappen]

HI!! Hope you are well! I was wondering if you could do a smau, ferrari!reader (daughter of the ferrari family, like hier to the company? Idk how to explain lol) x max verstappen, where they have known eachother for a while through Jos and stuff, and they are really close, but everyone thinks it's just because they are friends? And then max hard launched reader because everyone is shipping her with one of the ferrari boys? Thanks! <3

hard launch ✧ max verstappen

max verstappen x ferrari! fem! reader

masterlist

had so much fun writing this! thank you for sending in your request anon <3 (requested)

[twitter]

[instagram]

yn_ferrari

liked by charles_leclerc and 1.830.616 others

yn_ferrari eat pasta drive fasta 🍝

view all 1.828 comments

scuderiaferrari See you tomorrow boss 🫡

username mother is mothering more than she has ever mothered before 😍

charles_leclerc bet you were drunk after drinking that amount of wine

↳ yn_ferrari stop spreading lies

↳ username never beating the couple allegations

↳ username i ship it🥰

username “CHA” for CHArles?!??! 🥺🥺

↳ username GIRL😭😭

maxverstappen1 🫃

↳ yn_ferrari papa asked you to let charles/carlos win for once🥹🙏🏼

↳ maxverstappen1 As much as I love papa, I’m afraid I can’t do that💙

↳ yn_ferrari nicorosberg please do your magic

username IS THAT MAX IN THE 3RD PICTURE?!

↳ username it’s charles😌

yn_ferrari

liked by carlossainz55 and 1.288.711 others

yn_ferrari always a meaningful race at monza! so glad to be back and see all the tifosi that came to show their support❤️ congrats to carlossainz55 for the podium! (and to maxverstappen1 for breaking the record 😒)

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maxverstappen1 Thank you, Y/N😚

↳ yn_ferrari it’s all your fault! nicorosberg 🙍‍♀️

↳ nicorosberg Forza Ferrari❤️

↳ yn_ferrari you’re welcome, i guess you deserved it🤷‍♀️

↳ username is it just me?? but i feel like y/n is so rude to max sometimes :/

↳ username girl chill😭😭 that’s just how they are, they’ve been friends for over twenty years now

scuderiaferrari Lovely to have you and bossman here! Please visit often❤️

↳ yn_ferrari i think i still have to recover, feels like my hand is broken by how hard papa squeezed it throughout the race

username “ferrari fans always in spain (without the s)” SO TRUE 😩

charles_leclerc Are we still on for the family dinner tonight

↳ yn_ferrari you’ve been uninvited, you almost gave papa a heart attack

↳ carlossainz55 😂😂😂

↳ yn_ferrari you too mr. sainz

↳ carlossainz55 THATS NOT FAIR

username i just love the banter between charles and y/n😭 i want what they have

[message]

[instagram]

maxverstappen1

liked by yn_ferrari and 4.716.109 others

maxverstappen1 You still make my heart beat fast, Ferrari❤️

tagged: yn_ferrari

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yn_ferrari i thought i told you to keep it PG😡 5 SECOND PENALTY FOR MAX VERSTAPPEN

yn_ferrari unoriginal caption taken from song lyrics?! 183621 SECOND PENALTY!!

↳ maxverstappen1 I love you🥰

↳ yn_ferrari love you too 😮‍💨

username SCREAMING CRYING WTF😭

username i can’t see i’m blind😵

redbullracing SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY?! 😮

↳ scuderiaferrari FORZA FERRARI SIEMPRE!!!🐎

papaferrari Please delete

papaferrari yn_ferrari I think we need to have a little chat

↳ yn_ferrari i’m not the one who posted the pictures😭

↳ papaferrari Okay… Please tell Max not to come to the dinner tonight 👍😁

↳ maxverstappen1 WHAT NO, I CAN EXPLAIN

username b-b-b-but charles + y/n? 🥲

↳ username we lost💔

username a good day to be a ferrstappen shipper

↳ username WAR IS OVER

username THE 2ND PIC I-

charles_leclerc Took you guys long enough🙄

yn_ferrari

liked by maxverstappen1 and 3.921.551 others

yn_ferrari some things never change

tagged: maxverstappen1

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username okay i guess they’re cute or whatever🙄

maxverstappen1 ❤️💙

papaferrari Can you just give this old man a break…

↳ username i volunteer to be your daughter 🧎‍♀️

username fell to my knees in the middle of walmart

charles_leclerc 20+ years of this 🫠

↳ yn_ferrari 😬😬😬

↳ maxverstappen1 💪💪💪

username i just need to know papa ferrari’s current favorite grid son, given all the situations happening right now😂

↳ yn_ferarri will always and forever be @/sebastianvettel

↳ charles_leclerc WOW

↳ carlossainz55 WOW

↳ maxverstappen1 WOW

↳ kimimatiasraikonnen Wow.

↳ sebastianvettel 😁😁😁

_

pictures (c) to pinterest and instagram

[nyarumie]

What if Soshiro's girlfriend was nice to Weapon 10 because it saved his life and instead of being flustered 10 also start liking her and now Soshiro feels like he has to share his gf with the suit!!

A small continuation to 'Suit Anomaly', based from this ask! (Click here for Part 3)

Author's Reply: Hi, Anon! This sounds adorable! His gf's semi rude attitude towards No. 10 was because of the injuries Soshiro got from their fight, but she's not a totally cold person so I can see this happening! I shall do my best ♡

Requests and messages are welcome on my ask box! I can also write for Narumi and Mina (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡

Just a few weeks after the nationwide cataclysm orchestrated by Kaiju No. 9, you once again found yourself standing in the very same training facility right after a small kaiju attack from the previous day. This time, you’re equipped with your own numbers weapon just in case it goes haywire after all the damage it sustained.

“How does it feel?” you ask him.

“Still as uncomfortable as ever,” he said. “Can’t say this thing’s more tame now, it’s as battle hungry as always; but it kinda listens to me and has a l’il bit of common sense now.”

You snort, hearing No. 10 roar an “Are you saying I’m stupid?!” at him.

Knowing him, Soshiro just refuses to tell the truth: He’s grown comfortable wearing his numbered suit, despite the strain it deals on his body. It’s particularly crazy how he’s able to wear it and fight using it again just after a few days of being discharged from the medbay—any normal officer wouldn’t be able to walk after that destructive fight.

"Hmm… You both did well in yesterday's fight," you started, followed with a sigh, "But you didn't need to go all-out at all. They were just small fry!"

Soshiro comically scratched his head, "No offense sweetie, but I think you're just upset you didn't get to kill one yesterday. This guy wanted to wipe 'em all out for ya. Some kind of thanks for actively watchin' over the suit's repair."

"I didn't say anything like that!" it complained.

Soshiro crossed his arms and complained, "Ya keep dragging me to her area! Told ya she's as strong as we are, but you kept screaming at me saying somethin' like 'Oi, Hoshina! Ain't you gonna protect your little foul mouthed girlfriend?!'"

"Stop lying! I just wanted to get a higher kill count; you're being too lousy in battle!"

'Ah… compatibility aside, the arguments aren't stopping soon.' you thought.

You cleared your throat, getting their attention back to you. "If that's the case, then I extend my deepest gratitude to you both—but you don't have to worry about me!"

Proceeding to closely inspect the suit, you went down on one knee and thoroughly observed its tail, which had been severed during their fight with Kaiju no. 12. You started caressing it, seemingly deep in thought.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! I told you I'm not a pet!"

Soshiro just quietly observed the scene, curious at your actions.

Going to stand in front of Soshiro again, you bent your upper body forward to meet the Kaiju's eye.

For the first time since he's donned this suit, you gave it a sincere smile. "I give you my deepest thanks for protecting Soshiro. You did well."

Silence.

After a minute of solid silence, the tail started aggressively swaying around and a frantic scream from Okonogi caught yours and Soshiro's attention.

"Vice Captain! Platoon Leader! I advise you to end the monitoring session—the suit's rapidly overheating for no reason!"

Eh?

Soshiro started pulling the tail, trying to get it to behave. "You cyclops! Keep still! My girlfriend's not flirtin' with ya, not with a Kaiju!"

"Cyclops?! I'm not even doing anything, bowlcut bastard!"

As you laugh at the entertainment in front of you, the Kaiju detection alarm goes off.

"Let's go. Make sure you let me kill some today, alright?" you said, mood heightened.

That being said…

In the midst of the battle, it took Soshiro a great deal of strength just to stop the Kaiju suit from rushing towards your aid.

The both of them started arguing again after the fight, as Soshiro saw how its tail was subtly waving when you approached them, as if asking to be caressed again.

"Ya don't get to ask my girlfriend to touch yer tail! I'm not sharin' her with you!"

"I didn't ask her anything! And would you look at that, she's already touching it!"

With a pout akin to that of a child getting their lollipop stolen, Soshiro said, "Dear, ya don't have to do that! I'm right here!"

You giggled, wanting to tease him a bit. "And I can see you well enough, 'Shiro. You'll get your kisses later, yeah?"

He groaned, continuing their seemingly never-ending argument.

Oh, you can get used to this.

[clesired]

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓 | 𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐘 !

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 ! “can i request a fred x black cat!gf since he’s such a golden retriever!bf?” thank you to the lovely anon who requested this <3

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 ! my take on what i imagine a golden retriever bf!fred x black cat gf!reader relationship looks like.

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 ! no warnings, fluff, fem!reader, golden retriever bf!fred x black cat gf!reader, established relationship!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 !

🥥 golden retriever bf!fred who’s obsessed with you, his black cat!gf

🥥 you’re the only person that can get him to chill the heck out when he’s all hyper and causing chaos with george ( you and angelina are constantly tag teaming the twins )

🥥 will do anything you ask without question

🥥 constantly laying his head in your lap

🥥 will follow you around like a puppy

🥥 you are constantly wandering the castle grounds on your own and fred always has to hunt you down using the marauder’s map ( he borrows it from harry after he and george give it to him )

🥥 you never get pranked because you’re dating fred, but also because the twins are afraid of how you’d retaliate

🥥 cuddling is his favorite pastime

🥥 people are constantly sending you patronus messages to come and get fred because he’s causing a ruckus

🥥 professors regularly use you as a messenger to inform the twins when they have detention

🥥 fred found a way to get past the enchantment preventing boys from entering the girls’ dorm just so he can cuddle with you every night

🥥 he knows you hate quidditch and the only reason you watch the games is for him, so he always makes sure to balance out the weekends with stuff you like to do as well

🥥 carries your books and/or book bag for you even when you insist you can do it yourself

🥥 always makes a plate for you first; no matter if it’s breakfast, lunch, or dinner

🥥 loves to cuddle

🥥 if you’re ever in an argument/fight with someone, he’ll let you go off because he knows you can handle your own, but he’ll still be ready to jump in if things escalate

🥥 during breaks, he’s terrible at writing letters for everyone except you

🥥 he and george will sometimes pretend to be the other twin for a day but you thwart it every time because you can tell them apart

🥥 whether it’s holding hands, an arm around your waist, or even you sitting in his lap—if you’re near, you must be touching him in some way, shape, or form

🥥 you met him and george at the same time and they did that thing where they pretended to be the other twin, and you—the natural skeptic that you are, immediately called their bluff…he was head over heels after that

🥥 if someone calls your name, he will look up too

🥥 happily listens to you lecturing him after he gets injured in a game and ends up in the hospital wing—partially because he loves seeing how much you care, but also because the potions madam pomfrey gave him are strong

🥥 instantly melts when you card your hand(s) through his hair

🥥 will act like a needy baby when he’s ill and demand you take care of him ( you do, obviously )

🥥 in turn, will be the most doting mother hen when you’re ill even though you try to make him go away so you don’t spread your sickness to him

🥥 adding on to the previous one, he’ll get all embarrassed when you poke fun at him for his doting ( “the molly genes are strong in this one” )

🥥 will prank someone if they piss you off ( unprompted btw, you don’t even have to ask!!! )

🥥 will proudly wear an ‘i love my gf’ shirt

🥥 he loves it when you get jealous because he thinks it’s hot

🥥 he instantly shuts all of it down, though—he’d never dare let your relationship be disrespected

🥥 you don’t even need to ask for reassurance because he’s so loud in his love for you that you never question it in the first place ( you still get jealous though )

🥥 much to your chagrin, he names your fur baby y/n junior ( fic )

🥥 absolutely melts whenever you call him freddie

🥥 did i mention he likes to cuddle?

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐪𝐮𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 !

𝐤𝐞𝐲 ! fred, you, other people

🐚 “guys, where’s my girlfriend?”

🐚 “i miss my girlfriend.” “she just went to the bathroom?” “exactly.”

🐚 “cuddle time?” ( constant ask btw, not that you’re complaining )

🐚 “can you at least pretend to be happy that your boyfriend is here?” “you’re supposed to be in detention!?”

🐚 “not arguing with my beautiful girlfriend. whatever you say, gorgeous.”

🐚 “can we go cuddle now?”

🐚 “i know my girlfriend is pretty, mate. you don’t need to stare though, yeah?”

🐚 “love it when you call me freddie.”

🐚 “are you single?” “fortunately, no!”

🐚 “why are we studying when we could be cuddling right now instead?”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐪𝐮𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 !

𝐤𝐞𝐲 ! you, fred, other people

🫧 “what did he do this time, professor?”

🫧 “nice try george, i know you’re not my boyfriend. where is he?”

🫧 “cuddle time.” ( your response every time he asks )

🫧 “freddie?” “yes, my love?” “nothing, just wanted to hear you call me that.”

🫧 “ang, i feel like the castle’s been too quiet lately.” “i agree…” “wait- where are the boys!?”

🫧 “y/n, come quick! fred keeps talking about spiking snape’s pumpkin juice!” “of course he is. why are you telling me this?” “you’re the only one who can tell him not to!”

🫧 “yes, we can go cuddle now, freddie.”

🫧 “y/nsaywhatifyouloveme.” “what?” “yes!”

🫧 “i love you, freddie.” “you love meee.” ( he giggles as he says it, canon )

🫧 “yes, my love—i think you’re the prettier twin.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 ! wooh, first headcanon post done!!! i hope you lovelies enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

©clesired - all rights reserved. do not copy, translate or share my work on other media platforms.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

xoxo,

mila! *: ･🐚༄🫧*ੈ✩

[novaursa]

Hello my love! I absolutely adore your writings and wanted to send a request that might prompt some imagination.

I would love a fic where the reader is velaryon (rhaenyras daughter) and married to cregan stark through a marriage alliance. They have grown to love eachother and have one child, a young son, and reader has a dragon. Reader is a dragon rider and may ride into battle with her dragon for her mother’s cause.

Whilst cregan is needed at the wall, a handful of men—sent by the greens in response to blood and cheese—sneak into winterfell with a mission; kill/take readers dragon or pay the price with her son. After killing the guards and a fight where reader tries to defend herself and her son, (maybe resulting in reader getting injured) the men give reader the option. Her dragon or her son. (I’ll leave the choice/what happens up to you 🤭)

cregan soon gets word about what has happened and rushes back to the aftermath.

it would be an honour if you were to even consider my ask 🥰

thank you for all you do and the joy you bring to this side of tumblr <3

The Cycle

- Summary: Cregan leaves with his duty to the Wall and you are left alone with a choice Larys Strong brings.

- Pairing: velaryon!reader/Cregan Stark

- Note: The reader is Rhaenyra's daughter and is bonded with Grey Ghost.

- Rating: Explicit 18+ (just to be safe)

- Alternative scenario: one for the price of two

- Tag(s): @sachaa-ff @alyssa-dayne @oxymakestheworldgoround @daeryna @melsunshine @21-princess

- A/N: I hope this is what you had in mind, dear anon. ☺️❤️

Winterfell is quieter than you have ever known it. The grand halls that once echoed with the clamor of swords and laughter are hushed, the absence of Cregan’s men leaving an emptiness that stretches through every corridor. Outside, the sky is smothered in a blanket of heavy clouds, the winds howling mournfully, as if they sense the danger that lingers just beyond the gates.

Your son, Eddard, sleeps soundly in his cradle, his tiny fists curled by his face, the sight of him softening the edges of your worry. You brush a gentle kiss to his brow, your thoughts drifting to Cregan, away at the Wall with his men, fulfilling his duties to the Night’s Watch. The last thing he said to you before leaving echoes in your mind.

“Winterfell is safe. You are safe.” His grey eyes were serious, his hand warm against your cheek as he spoke.

You had believed him then, believed in the strength of the castle walls and the loyalty of the men who guarded it. But you can’t shake the unease prickling at the back of your neck, a mother’s intuition whispering warnings in your ear.

The first scream splits the night like an axe through ice. You jolt upright, heart hammering, and before you can even grasp what is happening, the door to your chambers bursts open. Figures, shadowed and swift, flood the room. Larys Strong’s men, their faces obscured by masks, their blades gleaming in the dim light.

“Stay back!” you cry out, instinctively placing yourself between them and Eddard’s crib. Your hand reaches for the dagger hidden beneath your pillow, but one of them is faster, knocking it from your grip and seizing your wrist with bruising force.

“Princess Velaryon, or is it just Lady Stark now? There’s no need for heroics,” the leader sneers, his voice a sickly mix of mockery and menace. “We’re here to deliver a message.”

They drag you from the room, your protests muffled by a rough hand clamped over your mouth. Your heart pounds as they force you down the twisting stairs, through the empty halls, until you’re thrust out into the freezing night. Your breath plumes in the air as you look up, dread curling in your stomach.

Grey Ghost is there, your dragon, your bond. Chained and wounded, his scales stained with blood, his wings pinned cruelly to the ground. He lets out a weak, rumbling growl as he sees you, his eyes gleaming with pain and anger.

“No…” you whisper, struggling against the iron grip of your captors. “No, please—”

Larys Strong steps forward then, his smile a twisted, grotesque parody of civility. “You see, Y/N, the Dowager Queen in King’s Landing sends her regards. The blood of a child for the blood of a child, was it not?”

The horror of what he means dawns on you, a sickening wave of realization that turns your limbs to lead. The butcher and the ratcatcher. The trap your mother and Daemon had laid for the Greens. And now, here in the cold North, the Greens have come for you.

“Your dragon or your son,” Larys says softly, almost kindly, as if he were offering you a choice of fine wines. “One lives. One dies. You decide.”

You can barely breathe, the cold air clawing at your throat as you shake your head in disbelief. “No… please, don’t do this… Eddard is just a babe, he’s done nothing—”

Larys cocks his head, feigning sympathy. “Nor did little Jaehaerys. Yet your mother saw to his death, didn’t she?”

Tears blur your vision, but you force yourself to stand tall, to meet his gaze. “If you kill him, I swear on the gods, old and new, I will burn you all to ash.”

Larys’s smile widens, amusement flickering in his eyes. “Such fire. But threats won’t change anything, my lady. You have until the count of ten.”

The men around you tighten their grip, and you know, with a cold, sick certainty, that they will carry out his command. That you will lose one, either your sweet son, innocent and helpless, or Grey Ghost, who has fought beside you, who has bled and burned for your family’s cause.

“One,” Larys begins, his voice calm, measured.

You look at Eddard, bundled against the biting cold, his eyes wide and trusting as they meet yours. He doesn’t understand. He’s too young to understand what is being asked of you.

“Two.”

Grey Ghost lets out a low, mournful wail, his tail lashing weakly against the chains that bind him. You can feel his pain, his fear, through the bond you share, a connection forged in fire and blood.

“Three.”

The world narrows to the beat of your heart, the silent plea in Eddard’s eyes, the agony in Grey Ghost’s. How can you choose? How can any mother be asked to make such a choice?

“Four.”

Your hands are shaking, the words trapped in your throat. You want to scream, to beg, to offer anything, everything, if it will just make this nightmare end.

“Five.”

But there is no mercy in Larys’s gaze, no compassion in the men who hold you.

“Six.”

Grey Ghost’s roar rises, a desperate, broken sound that tears through the night.

“Seven.”

Eddard’s small, soft cry, frightened and confused, cuts through your soul.

“Eight.”

You look at Larys, the man who holds your fate in his hands, and you know that there is no victory here, no way to save them both.

“Nine.”

“I choose…” The words scrape out of you, each one a knife to your heart. “I choose my son.”

Larys’s smile is slow, triumphant, as if he had won some great game. He turns, gestures to his men. “Kill the dragon.”

“No!” The scream rips from your throat as they move toward Grey Ghost, their weapons drawn. You struggle, kicking, biting, but they hold you fast, forcing you to watch as the blades rise and fall, as your dragon, your beloved Grey Ghost, thrashes and roars, his blood staining the snow red.

You sob, your heart shattering with each cruel blow, each gasping breath your dragon takes. He fought for you, for your family, and now he dies, his life ended by your choice, your terrible, necessary choice.

When it is over, the silence is deafening, the night air thick with the smell of blood and death. Larys releases you then, his gaze almost pitying. “There, you see? It wasn’t so difficult.”

You collapse to your knees, your body shaking with grief and rage, unable to tear your eyes from Grey Ghost’s still form. Eddard cries out, and you gather him to you, clutching him close, his tiny warmth the only anchor in a world that has gone cold and dark.

Larys steps back, his work done, his men already withdrawing into the shadows. “Remember, Lady Stark,” he calls over his shoulder. “A debt paid in blood can always be collected again.”

As the night closes in around you, the promise of vengeance burns in your veins. You have lost so much, but you will not break. You will rise from this. For your son. For Grey Ghost. And you will see the Greens pay for every drop of blood they have spilled.

The journey back to Winterfell is swift and relentless, Cregan pushing his horse hard across the snow-swept landscape. There’s a weight in his chest, a gnawing dread that had taken root the moment he received the ravens’ grim message at the Wall. The North is no stranger to death and violence, but the attack on Winterfell, the heart of his home, is a scar he never thought he’d bear.

As the castle looms into view, his heart stutters at the sight. The once proud and imposing stronghold is shrouded in a somber silence, the gates barely guarded, the towers and walls bearing the signs of a vicious struggle. It’s as if the very soul of Winterfell has been drained away, leaving only a husk.

He rides through the gate, dismounting even before his horse fully stops. The few men left in the yard stand grim and silent, their eyes shadowed with exhaustion and grief. There are still bloodstains on the stones, patches of crimson stark against the pristine snow, a testament to the horrors that have transpired.

“Where is she?” he demands, his voice a low, urgent growl. “Where is my wife?”

One of his men, Ser Bryndon, steps forward, his face lined with fatigue and sorrow. “In the Great Hall, my lord. She’s… she hasn’t left her chambers much since the attack.”

Cregan’s heart clenches. He brushes past them, striding through the courtyard, the cold biting at his exposed skin, but he hardly feels it. Every step echoes in the eerily quiet halls, the silence pressing in around him like a vice.

When he reaches the Great Hall, he pauses, bracing himself for what he might find. The heavy wooden doors creak open under his hand, and he steps inside, his eyes sweeping the shadowed space.

There, at the far end of the hall, you sit by the fire, a small, fragile figure in the vast, empty room. You are clutching Eddard to your chest, his small form bundled in blankets, your body curled protectively around him. The flames cast flickering shadows across your face, highlighting the dark circles beneath your eyes, the pallor of your skin.

“Y/N…” His voice is rough, almost breaking, as he crosses the room in a few long strides.

You look up at the sound of his voice, your eyes red and hollow, and for a moment, you just stare at him as if unsure if he’s real or another cruel vision conjured by your grief. Then, with a broken sob, you are in his arms, clutching at his furs, your body trembling with the force of your anguish.

“Cregan…” Your voice is a ragged whisper, muffled against his chest. “They took him from me. They took Grey Ghost.”

He holds you tightly, one arm around your shoulders, the other cradling your son. His heart twists at the sight of you, at the haunted look in your eyes, the way you cling to him as if he is the only thing anchoring you to this world. “I’m here,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your hair. “I’m so sorry, my love. I’m so sorry I wasn’t here.”

Your breath shudders out of you in a broken gasp, and you shake your head. “It’s not your fault… It’s them. Larys Strong… he made me choose, Cregan. He made me choose between Eddard and Grey Ghost.”

The words hit him like a punch to the gut. He can feel your pain, your guilt, as if it were his own. He tightens his hold on you, his jaw clenched against the fury and helplessness threatening to overwhelm him. “You did what you had to do,” he says fiercely, his voice low and steady. “You protected our son. That’s what matters.”

But he knows, even as he says it, that it will never be enough to ease the agony in your heart. He can see it in your eyes, in the way you curl in on yourself, as if trying to shield yourself from a blow that has already struck. And the sight of it breaks something deep inside him.

“I should have been here,” he whispers, his voice cracking. “I should have protected you both.”

You pull back slightly, your hand coming up to cup his face, your touch gentle despite the tremor in your fingers. “You are here now,” you say, your voice a soft, wavering thread. “That’s what I need. You and Eddard… we’ll get through this. Somehow.”

He nods, swallowing against the lump in his throat. He looks down at your son, at the innocence in his small face, the way he sleeps so peacefully despite the storm that has raged around him. Cregan’s heart aches with love and sorrow and a fierce, unyielding determination.

“I will make them pay,” he vows quietly, his voice hard with the promise. “For every drop of blood, for every tear, I will see them suffer.”

He can feel the weight of your gaze on him, the fire of your own resolve rekindling in the depths of your eyes. “We’ll make them pay,” you agree, your voice firmer now, a steel edge beneath the sorrow.

He presses a kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering against your skin as if he can somehow shield you from all the hurt and loss that has been inflicted upon you. “Rest now, Y/N. I’ll take care of everything.”

But even as he says the words, he knows there will be no rest for either of you, not truly. Not until the debt has been paid in blood and fire.

Later, when you’ve finally fallen into a fitful sleep, he steps outside, his breath fogging in the frigid air. The courtyard is almost deserted, the few men left tending to the grim task of clearing the bodies, the fallen. And there, on the far side, lies the massive, still form of Grey Ghost, his once-silver scales now dull and bloodstained.

Cregan approaches slowly, his heart heavy as he takes in the sight of your dragon, his body broken and scarred from the fight that cost him his life. He reaches out, his hand resting against the cooling scales, and he bows his head, grief and rage roiling within him.

“I swear,” he murmurs, his voice a low, fierce vow, “I will see justice for you, for my family. The Greens will pay for this treachery.”

The wind howls through the empty yard, the promise of vengeance carried on its bitter, biting breath.

[drawing-prompt-s]

Notice:

Hello, as some of you may be coming here with the belief that I am the same admin that runs @/Writing-Prompt-s please know that is incorrect! I am NOT! We share a similar name because he started it years ago, but I have been running it solo for almost 8 years now and have nothing to do with his other blog(s) or whatever it going down. Thank you!

Also I don't scrape(?) my prompts from Reddit or any other site - they're all submitted by other users who follow this blog and I just pick some to post (that's why you can find posts on here where I remind others to send them in). Occasionally I may make my own if I have an idea! But that's a misconception I keep seeing that I wanted to add this about.

Further explanation/information under the cut about who runs this blog:

While the/an admin of Writing-prompt-s did start this blog years ago, he then left it to idle and focused on his original blog. I saw this and reached out, again years ago, asking to run it - to which I was promoted to admin. I have been running Drawing-prompt-s solo for about 7 or 8 years now.

Until yesterday (08.06.24) I had no idea anything was even going on with his blog. I have nothing to do with it, I barely even see anything from it aside from the rare prompt come up on my dash nowadays. I only found out when I went to Q a bunch of posts up and found a slew of hate mail ranging from calling me a zionist, threatening violence, and telling me to kill myself. And one of my followers having sent an anon informing me that one of those posts had incorrectly stated he ran this blog as well - that user has since recognized that this is not the case, and various others have pointed it out.

I had a pinned post about this before and when I left for a few hours and came back it was gone. I am working under the assumption right now this is just the fault of Tumblr, though I am tentative about that. So if you see this posted again that is why, and if you see this exact post made again then just be aware it is becuase I am saving a copy of this message and each time the post is removed I will be reposting it, as i am saving this elsewhere so I do not have to rewrite it each time.

I do not want argument under this - I have caught up on everything going on, I have seen the post saying he runs this one, etc. All I wanted for this blog is to post prompts, share art, and encourage others to follow their passion for creation. And occasionally to drop cute cat pictures of my little gremlins.

To those who have been here for years and know who I am, know I am not that same person, I say thank you for sticking around - and to those correcting the misinformation, thank you again. I appriciate it <3

Yours sincerely,

a very confused chick in her early 20s who had no idea anything was even going down.

-- Prompt Prophet

[megalony]

Second Chances

Hi, so this is my first Bobby Nash x reader imagine, thank you to the amazing anon who sent in this idea. I had such fun writing this and I hope you will all like it.

Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyje @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18 @chrisevansdaughter @alexandra848484 @deena-beena-weena @targaryenluvs @kpoplover-19 @marvelmenarebeautiful @gillybear17

@zoeybennett @mrspeacem1nusone @zephyrmonkey @estella-novella @eleventhdoctorsangel @kniselle @senjoritanana @shauna-carsley @dottierose @cfdhouse51 @darkfemme1 @rainechase45 @lolalolsstuff @jupiter1700 @ashdoctor @an-aliens-ghost @lunaroserites @houseoftwistedspirits @callsignwidow @winterreader-nowwriter @reneinii @bellsbomb @western-pyro @itsgigikay @harry-satellite @midsummereve1993 @babyqueen17 @buckyyyismahhlife @sammiejane22 @mrsyixingunicorn10

Evan Buckley Masterlist

Eddie Diaz Masterlist

Summary: Bobby feels like his relationship with (Y/n) is a second chance at happiness. Even though she is younger than him, and sometimes he worries he is holding her back. But then things progress further.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Bobby propped his feet up on the coffee table, a smile tugged at (Y/n)'s lips and she shifted around too. She shuffled down the sofa a bit so she was slouched down with her legs curled beneath her and her feet pressing into the arm of the sofa.

Both hands moved to curl around Bobby's arm and her cheek fell to rest on his shoulder.

The movie playing on the tv was good, it was entertaining enough, but it didn't hold (Y/n)'s entire focus. Her attention was split between the movie and the person sitting next to her. She wasn't sure why Bobby kept stealing her attention, it wasn't as if he had been gone for days or even weeks. He had been gone for little over twelve hours while he had been at work, and she was used to it.

She was with the Captain of the station, Bobby had to do extra shifts. He had paperwork to sort and file, leave to approve and deny, rotas to sort out and shifts to cover. His job was demanding and (Y/n) was used to his time needing to be split.

Maybe it was just because he was home.

That sounded strangely wonderful. Home. Home was where Bobby was. It didn't mean the house where she used to live with her sister when she moved to LA. It didn't mean that odd, vacant flat that had felt horrible to come home to when she lived on her own.

Home didn't mean spending evenings alone or turning all the lamps on so it felt warm instead of odd and deafeningly quiet.

It meant being here with Bobby. It wasn't a case of finding out in advance what shifts he was working so they knew when they could spend days together or stay over at each other's places. It wasn't a case of messaging him when she was alone and he was at work or when they were both in separate homes and separate beds.

Knowing there was someone else to come home to or who was waiting at home for her made (Y/n) feel alive. It made her feel safe and complete and like she wasn't alone anymore.

Tilting her head down a little, (Y/n) attached her lips to Bobby's shoulder and began gliding her fingers up and down his arm like she was drawing patterns and secret messages into his skin. She knew he was smiling when she felt him kiss the top of her head and she wondered if his attention was fully on the movie or if his mind was wandering too.

"Can I ask you something?"

(Y/n) bit back the urge to tell him that he just did and settled for nodding against his shoulder.

She leaned her head back so her chin was pressing down into his shoulder and her head was at an angle so she could look up at him. Bobby seemed to debate whether or not to look at her as he spoke or keep his eyes on the screen. He settled for inclining his head in her direction but she was sure his eyes were focusing on her lips rather than her gaze while he spoke.

"Do you ever think you're missing out?" His question was so odd and out of place that a quirky smile pulled at (Y/n)'s lips.

"On what?"

What was she supposed to be missing out on? What had he been thinking about to make him ask something like that? Had (Y/n) missed something here about where this conversation was leading?

"Life, in general? Doing things, rather than being here with me?"

The smile that had graced (Y/n)'s lips faded when Bobby's words registered with her and she realised where he was trying to go with this conversation.

Her head lifted from his shoulder and she switched positions so she wasn't sitting with her legs curled beneath her anymore. She moved to drape her legs across Bobby's lap which made him raise a brow and grin, despite the nerves about where this conversation was going to lead them.

He watched curiously as (Y/n) let go of his arm so she could fold her arms across her chest. And the way she sank back into the sofa made Bobby raise a brow. She looked like she was making a statement; making herself comfortable and cosy as if to prove that this was where she was, where she wanted to be, and she wouldn't be moving from this spot anytime soon.

"No."

"You're sure?"

(Y/n) couldn't quite comprehend how Bobby could be so calm while he was leading them down this road.

This wasn't the kind of conversation she wanted to have because it wasn't something she often found herself thinking about. This kind of thing didn't bother her.

Sure, they'd had a few ups and downs in the beginning. Bobby certainly didn't look his age, but it was clear that he was older than (Y/n). Not a lot of people cared or made clear judgements, but (Y/n) knew it was something Bobby thought about from time to time. He couldn't seem to grasp that they were both in the same place in their lives despite the age difference that suggested they should be at different stages.

The age didn't matter to (Y/n), not one bit. She loved Bobby and she wanted to be with him; as long as he felt the same then age was just a number and time felt like a fantasy.

"Yes… what do you think I should be doing?" She couldn't help but ask because she was curious.

(Y/n) wondered what it was Bobby thought she was missing out on and what he thought she should be doing to better spend her time than being here in their home. Than being with him.

"I don't know… going out, dating, finding yourself. A normal life."

The way Bobby waved his hand as he spoke made it sound so passing, so fleeting and (Y/n) couldn't help how her smile faded and her head pressed further back into the sofa. Her arms dropped from her chest and she reached back out to curl them back around Bobby's arm. When she gave a small tug, he loosened his arm and let her drag him across until his arm was across her chest and his hand curled around her thigh.

"This is my life, right here. With you." The sincere tone to her words seemed to catch Bobby off guard and his head twisted to look down at her.

The way his brows rose in surprise worried (Y/n) because she wondered if he truly believed those thoughts. If he believed she should be somewhere else, that she wanted to be somewhere else.

(Y/n) wasn't a lost soul needing guidance, she didn't need to go in search of her missing pieces. Every part of her was here and all of her was screaming any time she wasn't with Bobby. This is where she felt at peace, this was her home where she wanted to be and (Y/n) was very happy with that.

She didn't want to go out dating people when she had someone she loved and someone who clearly loved her right down to her bones.

Why wasn't this life normal? If no one knew about the age difference, if no one asked or bothered to think about it, then their lives would still be normal.

So what if (Y/n) hadn't dated hundreds of people before she got with Bobby? So what if he had a family before he met her? Everyone had different tappestries woven into their lives, this was no different.

"You're really happy with this, with me?" The apprehension in his voice sent a dagger piercing through (Y/n)'s ribs, trying to reach her heart.

"There's nowhere else I want to be; and no one else I want to be with, Bobby."

If she wasn't happy, she wouldn't be here. (Y/n) wouldn't of agreed to move in if she didn't think that their relationship was going to last. If she wasn't truly happy (Y/n) would of kept her apartment as a safety net in case things went wrong or if she didn't see this as a forever thing. But she had moved in with Bobby as soon as he asked because it was what she wanted to do.

(Y/n) didn't want to go out looking for people to 'have a good time with'. Her version of a good time was being with Bobby. Whether that meant going out for a meal, or staying in like tonight and watching a movie, or going to meet his team and spending an afternoon with them. Whatever they did together was (Y/n)'s version of a good time.

This is what she wanted and she needed Bobby to see that because she didn't want him to feel insecure when he had no reason to be. He wasn't forcing her to stay home with him or holding her back from anything. In fact, it was the opposite. Bobby was the driving force behind almost everything (Y/n) did.

The way he smiled down at her made (Y/n)'s heart soar and she couldn't help but lean her chest into his arm so she could reach her hand out to cup his face. Her fingers cradled his cheek and her thumb brushed along his cheekbone as she stared lovingly up at him before pulling him down to her for a kiss.

She loved the way his hand tightened around her thigh and how he leaned into her, almost pressing her back into the sofa with a new sense of eagerness.

"Good, because I was thinking…" His words whispered against her lips as he rested his temple against hers. "I don't- I didn't have anyone to put as my emergency contact at work, if something ever happened to me. But maybe now it's time to add a name, to add you."

"Really?"

(Y/n) wasn't sure she had ever been anyone's emergency contact before. She had never been serious enough with anyone to be added as their contact at work. And she had never dated anyone with a job that meant they were more likely to be involved in accidents or incidents. Being an emergency contact always seemed like a far-fetched scenario, something that might never happen.

But in Bobby's line of work, it was something that was needed. If he went to hospital for any reason, who would they call? Who was close enough to him to come and visit and make sure he was okay and take him home?

Bobby had never added anyone before because the only people he was close to were his team. If something happened to Bobby while he was on the job, his team would be there with him so he had no reason to add any of them as his contact.

(Y/n) changed things. She lived with him now. She was his partner and he loved her. If something happened, Bobby would want (Y/n) there by his side, he could be calm in any situation, but having someone there with him to hold his hand and make everything feel okay was something he hadn't had in such a long time. It was something he wanted; something he needed.

"Really." He murmured quietly and he was unable to stop himself from smiling when he leaned across and stole a kiss from her lips.

When he kissed her again, (Y/n) moved her other hand so both hands were cupping his face. Her thumbs stroked across his cheekbones and she held him at bay just long enough to arch a brow and catch him with a serious look before he stole another kiss.

"This doesn't mean you start getting into trouble though. I'm thrilled to be your emergency number, but I don't exactly dream of getting that kind of call, you know."

(Y/n) was overwhelmed and delighted to be important enough to Bobby that he would add her to his file at work. That he would allow his colleagues to ring her and ask her down to the station or to the hospital if anything was ever wrong. But she didn't want this to mean she started getting lots of phone calls like that.

Those weren't the kind of phone calls (Y/n) dreamed or longed to have and so far, Bobby had done well not to get into serious trouble or accidents at work. She would love for him to keep up that winning streak so this formality, this precaution, never had to be put to use.

She loved the way his eyes clouded over and he flashed her that smile that made her knees weak as he swooped in and stole her lips again.

"Deal."

Running his hand along his face, Bobby took a deep breath before he clicked the save button on the computer.

There it was, in black and white. There was (Y/n)'s name, typed up in the contact information on Bobby's file. There was her number beneath that and their shared address in the bottom column.

And right there, right at the end after it said relationship in italics, was the word Partner.

That was all he needed to add. That was all anyone needed to see if Bobby ever got into an emergency so they knew who to call and who he would want there by his side. He would want (Y/n), because she was his girl, the person he went home to after every shift. The person he loved.

He clicked off the file before he looked down at the paper form in his hands. Computer forms were safer, they were backed up and saved and there was a copy on the personell file at headquarters. It was there for everybody to find in an emergency. But that didn't mean that they didn't have paper copies too. Copies to keep in the filing cabinet so if something happened, the shift lead could look through and call whoever was down as the emergency contact.

Bobby neatly added (Y/n)'s name at the bottom section of his own paperwork that had been filled out by his hand over five years ago. Paperwork that had always remained blank since he moved to LA. Paperwork that always used to make him tear up and lose his ability to breathe.

He didn't feel like that anymore. He felt like he could breathe in relief, that he could smile and not be covered in crawling, itching powder that made him think he was drowning in guilt and grief.

He could move on and be with someone else and he didn't have to feel guilty about that. He hadn't done anything wrong.

Once the paperwork was filled out, Bobby put his file away in the cabinet and locked the drawer before he turned on his heels and clamped his hands down on his hips.

Now that he had made that milestone, it was time for the next one. Time to ask the team if they wanted to come round to his and (Y/n)'s place at the weekend. It was about time Bobby introduced them to the person who had been making him smile so much recently. He knew his team well enough by now to know that none of them were going to judge and he didn't have anything to worry about, as far as they were concerned.

He didn't have to worry.

***

(Y/n) felt like she couldn't breathe when she walked into the station. She could feel her chest tightening to the point it was as if she had an elastic band snapped tight around her chest and it was about to snap.

She hadn't been to the station that many times, and each time, Bobby had brought her down. She had never turned up on her own before and it almost felt like she was intruding. Bobby told her she could come down any time she liked, he said they encouraged families to come down and see them and have a drink and a chat, granted as long as they weren't about to rush out on a big call.

But (Y/n) still felt like turning up unannounced was somehow rude of her and that the team might not appreciate it.

"Hey (Y/n)."

Her head quickly twisted to the right and she managed a smile when she saw Buck heading her way. He had a tea towel tossed over his shoulder implying he had been up in the kitchen. (Y/n) knew Bobby had been teaching him how to cook lately; Buck seemed the only one interested in cooking, everyone else was more than happy for Bobby to cook for them.

"Hi."

"You looking for Bobby?" When she nodded, Buck looked over his shoulder and hollered "Cap!" and waved his hand to the the side. He gave her shoulder a squeeze as he walked past her when they both saw Bobby aiming their way.

(Y/n) could feel the nerves igniting in her stomach and fluttering up to her chest when her eyes set on Bobby. That charming smile made the butterflies amplify and she felt like her head was going to implode with all the thoughts rushing round in her mind.

She tried her best not to let the nerves get to her smile when Bobby reached out for her. She let herself melt into his hold when his hands found her hips and his thumbs began stroking up and down her sides in a soothing motion that (Y/n) found herself focusing on instead. She pushed up on her toes to kiss him and gave his shoulders a squeeze.

"Hey, everything okay?" Bobby's head tilted to the side as he looked down at her and tried to gage her expression.

She never said she was stopping by today and as much as Bobby loved people dropping in, it wasn't something (Y/n) was accustomed to doing. He hoped she was here for a friendly visit and not because something was wrong or she was nervous about something.

He relaxed a little when (Y/n) stole another kiss and he felt her hand move to cup the side of his neck as she nodded.

"Yeah, yeah, just wondered if you had a moment to talk."

Bobby couldn't help the way he shivered when (Y/n)'s hand tickled down the side of his neck and across his chest. If she wanted to talk he was more than willing to take her into the office and find out what had brought her down here.

"Sure." Bobby dropped his hands from (Y/n)'s waist so he could take her hand in his. He did a quick sweep of the station, but everyone was busy with their own tasks which meant he was fine to head into the office for a while.

He tugged on her hand and led the way through the station towards the corridor at the end. It made him smile when he felt (Y/n)'s free hand curling around his arm and he loved the way she pressed up into him as she walked right beside him. With her lips and nose pressing into his bicep, (Y/n) inhaled his scent and her breaths fanned softly into his shirt as Bobby led her into his office at the end of the corridor.

When they reached the office, Bobby motioned towards the chair in front of his desk but (Y/n) shook her head. She didn't want to sit down. That would make this feel formal, as if she were here for an interview.

She chose to lean her hips back against the desk instead and slump her bag down on the desk so it wasn't weighing down on her shoulder anymore. Her relaxed stance made Bobby smile curiously at her and he stood in front of her, close enough that he was practically stood between her legs.

He reached out so his right hand was on the desk right beside (Y/n)'s hip while his other hand held his waist. The way he looked down at her made shivers course up and down (Y/n)'s spine and she tilted her head back so she was looking up at him.

"To what do I owe this visit?" He hummed quietly while he leaned across and pecked her temple.

"Here."

Bobby was a little more than surprised when (Y/n) reached into her bag and then held out a small black box towards his chest.

He wasn't sure what he'd done to be given a gift. Today wasn't anything special, Bobby was good with dates and he knew nothing had been written on the calendar today.

He pushed off the desk so he was back on his feet properly and gratefully took the box. Curiosity burned in his eyes as he removed the lid to see what he was being handed.

Anxiety started to well up in (Y/n)'s stomach again and she moved her hands behind her to grip the counter so she could keep herself steady. She felt so anxious and unbalanced that if she didn't hold onto something, (Y/n) was sure she was going to melt into a puddle on the floor. Her teeth sank down into her lower lip tight enough to make her breath hitch in her throat and her eyes followed Bobby as he took out the keychain.

She hadn't known what to get to break the news. Somehow it didn't feel right to just blurt the news out and (Y/n) didn't know if she'd have the nerve to tell Bobby outright. She wanted to find a way to tell him, something sweet to try and show that this wasn't a bad thing.

Her eyes tried to read Bobby's expression and see what he was thinking, but he looked oddly blank. He wasn't smiling, he wasn't frowning or shaking his head or raising a brow or sighing.

He wasn't doing anything.

He had the small square box in one hand and the keyring in the other with his thumb periodically stroking across the inscription on the front. (Y/n) had seen the keyring when she had been out and thought it was rather fitting; something told her she had to get it, she couldn't just walk past. Almost like fate.

Bobby felt like he had been cast under a spell. All he could do was stare at the silver heart in his hand that read 'Our Little Love' in the centre.

Somehow, it felt as if the keychain had magically transferred into Bobby's system. It felt like that keychain was a heart of stone, slowly but surely sinking down into the pit of his stomach.

It didn't take much for Bobby to read (Y/n)'s expression. The worry in her eyes, the tepid, anxious smile on her lips. The way her fingers were tapping on the desk and the way she kept darting her eyes around the office. And the moment Bobby slowly dragged his eyes down to her stomach and then back up again, he could of cried. The look in her eyes said it all.

"You're pregnant."

(Y/n) found the will to nod, but she didn't know what to do. She wanted to reach out for Bobby. She wanted to take his hand and wrap her arms around him and lean into him and try to see what was going through his mind, but she couldn't. She didn't have the willpower to move from where she was resting against the desk. Moving felt too nerve-wrecking.

This wasn't exactly planned, and this wasn't something they had talked about. Of course, (Y/n) knew all about Bobby's past. She knew about his family, about Marcy and the kids and what happened. She knew Bobby had taken time and done a lot of work to come to terms with what happened and the guilt he had carried around with him.

Knowing he was comfortable enough with her and loved her enough to talk about his family and tell her when he was feeling low made (Y/n)'s heart soar. She was glad he trusted her.

But the subject of kids never seemed to happen.

Deep down, (Y/n) had been praying that Bobby would be happy about this. She wanted him to smile or cry or just say that this was a good thing. This was a piece of each of them. This was a family of their own, a baby.

(Y/n) loved Bobby, she loved him more than anything in the world and she could just imagine him with their baby. She knew he would be amazing, he had loved being a dad when he was with Marcy, despite how different that had been and how things had played out.

"Bobby, say something." The hitch in her voice made (Y/n) roll her lips together and she found the will to push off the desk.

She shakily reached out and curled her hand around his wrist, stepping closer until she was almost pressed up into his chest. He had to say something. He had to give her some kind of inkling as to what was running through his head right now. (Y/n) had to know his initial thoughts on this and what this meant to him. For him. For them.

"This… this, this is big."

Tipping her head down, (Y/n) brushed her hand beneath her eyes to wipe away the tears that were starting to fall.

That was all she needed to hear to know what Bobby thought about this. He was overwhelmed. He was becoming riddled with anxiety and as much as (Y/n) wanted to be mad about it, she couldn't. She knew there was a big, big chance that Bobby wouldn't react well to this news but (Y/n) had prayed that he would be okay with this.

She took a step back and moved both hands to run up and down her face to try and gather her senses and calm herself down.

(Y/n) waited another minute to see if Bobby would say anything else, but all he seemed to do was stare down at the keyring. The lack of a proper response made (Y/n) tighten her hand around his wrist until she was almost cutting off his circulation, but he didn't seem to notice at all.

"I- I shouldn't have come here." Her hand released from Bobby's wrist to cover her mouth and she hooked her bag back on her shoulder so she could weave around him.

She didn't want to stand in this office and burst into tears. She would rather go and wallow at home and let this news sink in for Bobby. She should have waited. She should have told him later, but (Y/n) had been too nervous to wait around once she found out. And she had been begging, praying and relying on the slither of hope that Bobby might just react happily to this to will herself to come here today.

It had clearly been the wrong choice.

Bobby finally snapped out of his trance and set the keyring and box down on the desk before he turned in (Y/n)'s direction.

"Hey, I'm happy about this."

The way he whispered the words and kept darting his eyes around his own office made (Y/n) smile sadly. She shook her head, smothering a broken laugh with the palm of her hand.

"Somehow I don't think you'd have to convince me if that were true."

If Bobby were truly happy about this, he wouldn't need to convince her. He wouldn't have to reassure (Y/n) that this is what he wanted. She would see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice. But all she could see was wallowing anxiety and pain. The exact opposite of what she needed to hear to convince her that Bobby wanted this baby.

"(Y/n)- (Y/n) please." Her name growled past his lips and he set off into a sprint when she left the office.

He didn't want her to leave. She couldn't drop a bombshell like that and then leave. They needed to talk. Bobby needed her to stay, he needed to think and talk and work out what this meant and what they were going to do about this. Bobby couldn't finish the rest of his shift with this news playing on his mind, it was going to distract him and in his line of work he couldn't afford distractions.

He hurried after her just as (Y/n) walked out the corridor and onto the station floor.

Before he could think about it, Bobby grabbed her wrist and reeled her back towards him. When she stumbled over her feet, he stepped closer so she tumbled into his chest and his other hand planted shakily on her waist to steady her and stop her from walking away.

He hated the tears that were welling up in her eyes and the way she pressed her shaking hand into his chest made his heart tremble.

"I'm gonna go. I'll see you at home."

He didn't respond quick enough. He didn't know what to say because nothing was coming to mind. All Bobby could focus on was the fact that he was being given a second chance. Another chance to ruin another life; two lives if he included (Y/n).

The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her but that was what was going to happen, he could see it.

(Y/n) brushed both hands across her face and shook her head to try and calm herself down. She could feel her arms trembling and her hands stayed covering her mouth as she tried to stop herself from crying. She didn't want to cry here, in front of the team. She was just starting to get to know them and make friends with the people Bobby worked with, crying in front of them wouldn't help at all.

"Are you okay?"

She almost jumped when Hen reached out and placed a careful, tender hand on her shoulder just before (Y/n) got to the station doors.

"Fine, fine." She managed to nod her head, even though she knew her expression was anything but convincing. She didn't want to talk to anyone. The only person she needed to talk to was Bobby, and he seemed to have lost the ability to speak.

***

Both Bobby's hands began to tap against his hips in tandem with his boot that was thudding against the laminate floor. He could feel his jaw beginning to grind when (Y/n) turned her back on him; again.

They needed to talk.

She had barely spoken a word to him since he came home and although Bobby knew he deserved it, he couldn't stand the silence. They had to talk about this, the air needed to be cleared and he had been stewing all afternoon on what he wanted to say and how to try and broach the subject with her.

Bobby had left work early, he hadn't been able to finish his paperwork, he couldn't keep his mind on the job and all the team had seen the way he was drifting when they were trying to work. And he knew the team had seen (Y/n) disappear in a wave of tears. They knew something had been wrong and they had felt the tension in the air.

It wasn't normal for their Captain not to talk to them and Bobby had only spoken to bark out orders when it was necessary.

He had left Hen in charge for the rest of the shift and come home and he sighed in utter relief when he saw that (Y/n) was home too. He wouldn't of known what to do with himself if she had been out when he got back.

"Will you stop, please?" His hands reached out and curled around (Y/n)'s wrists, swiftly pulling her arms towards him and turning her away from the kitchen counter.

He couldn't stand and watch her flutter about the house in a panic, trying desperately to find something to do with herself to avoid this conversation.

He could feel her hands shaking in his grip and when she looked up at him, Bobby realised she was barely breathing, she was so nervous. He hated that he made her that nervous, that he was the reason she was panicking. That was the last thing he wanted to do here.

"I'm terrified, (Y/n)."

Bobby's hands tightened around her wrists until (Y/n) could no longer feel her hands. She tilted her head back so she was looking up at him and her teeth sank down in her lower lip again, which was now speckled with blood from how much she had been chewing on her lip from anxiety.

When he let go of her hands, he began to rub both his hands together and crack his knuckles. While (Y/n) folded both her arms over her chest.

All she wanted to do was move closer and burrow into Bobby's embrace. She always felt calmer and safe when he held her and they hardly ever had cause to argue. Even when they had been discussing the age difference in their relationship, they had never gone into full blown arguments.

When she didn't answer, it was clear she was waiting for Bobby to keep going. He was finally opening up and willing to talk and (Y/n) needed him to. She needed him to tell her what was on his mind and going through his head because she didn't know what else to do right now but listen.

"I- I messed up last time. I lost everyone I called my family and I buried my kids, that was my fault and something I have to live with. I don't- I'm grateful for a second chance, but I don't w- I don't want to lose anyone else."

Bobby had done something no parent should ever do. He buried both his kids. He lost them both and after that, he never thought he would meet someone else to share his life with, let alone have another child after what happened. He had resigned himself to the knowledge that his children were never going to get any older. He was never going to see anymore milestones, never take his daughter to prom or watch his kids graduate from school or walk his daughter down the aisle or see them have their own families.

That didn't look like it would be in Bobby's future and he was okay with that. He had come to terms with that. Having another child felt like a second chance he didn't deserve. Bobby wasn't a victim, he had been the reason he lost his family.

Did he truly deserve another?

"History doesn't always repeat itself Bobby, and this baby wouldn't be a replacement, you know that, right?"

(Y/n) looked like she was going to reach out for him, but when she saw the way Bobby tangled his hand in his hair and started to tug on the short strands, she stopped. Instead, she gestured to the limited photos around the apartment.

There weren't many pictures of Bobby's children. He had two photos of them on the walls, a drawer full of pictures in the bedroom and a photo album he only looked through when he was having a breakdown. It had taken him years to be able to have their pictures on the walls and face them every day, but Bobby was finally at that place now; because he was with (Y/n).

This baby would never be a replacement or a second chance, it would just be an extension of Bobby's family. This baby would grow up knowing they had two older siblings they would never meet but would always see in photos.

This would never be the start of a new life where Bobby would have to leave his old life behind and forget his family. (Y/n) would never do that to him or expect Bobby to forget his family. But this baby would be a part of them, it would be a new chapter in their lives. This was something (Y/n) desperately wanted to be happy about.

"(Y/n), I'm older than you." Bobby's jaw locked and his hands moved and began flexing at his sides, continuously clenching into fists and unclenching again like he was preparing for some sort of fight.

His shoulders tensed when (Y/n) scoffed and held her hands out like she didn't understand what that revelation was supposed to mean.

"So?"

What did that matter? They had gone over that so many times since they first decided to get into a relationship together and (Y/n) was tired of that subject. Being with an older man wasn't something that weighed heavily on (Y/n)'s mind and she didn't let it get in the way of their relationship or make things complicated because it didn't need to be complicated.

"You're at the age of starting a family, I'm not."

His words had (Y/n) pulling her sleeves over her hands which she pressed against her lips to stop herself from screaming in frustration.

"I'm… God, I'm quite a bit older than you, don't you think that might cause a few issues with a baby? People will see me with this baby and think I'm the granddad. Our kid will notice all the other dads at the school or on the playground are a lot younger than theirs. I don't want you or them to resent me for that."

"Bobby… you really think I'd t-think that?" The broken tone in (Y/n)'s voice made a tear cascade down Bobby's face.

Maybe he didn't think (Y/n) would believe that, but it didn't stop his mind from believing it.

Bobby had started a family over a decade ago. He had begun and ended his family, he wasn't at the preferred age for having a baby, no matter how badly he might want one.

He was afraid. He was worried of taking a baby out and have everyone believe it was his grandchild rather than his baby or have people look at them funny if the three of them went out somewhere. And then there was school and plays and activities to consider. Bobby would be the odd one out. He would be the elder one there at events, he would be the elder dad.

What would their child think? Would they be okay with their dad being much older than everyone else's? Would they think it was strange? Would they resent Bobby for that, would they blame him?

Would (Y/n) start to blame him? Bobby dreaded the thought of (Y/n) waking up in five or ten years time and wondering if having a child with someone older, with Bobby, might have been a mistake.

What they had together was special, Bobby couldn't stand to lose this or do anything that would change what they had or make it difficult. He didn't want (Y/n) or another child to resent him a few years down the line. He didn't want this to be complicated when it should be a happy time in their lives.

And he didn't want to lose anyone else.

Bobby realised a second too late that he hadn't answered her. He realised when the tears were streaming down (Y/n)'s face and she was walking away from him.

He felt rooted to the spot, tears flushing down his own face until he heard (Y/n) moving about.

He followed her into the bedroom, but his heart lurched up into his throat and he all but gasped when she slung her bag on her shoulder and walked out again. Bobby followed after her like a shadow, like a lovesick puppy desperate for her to talk to him and he grabbed her wrist and weaved in front of her to make her stop and actually talk to him again.

"What are you doing?" The panic in his voice made (Y/n) whimper and she took a step back so she didn't melt into his arms and give in.

"I'm gonna stay with Anna for a while."

They needed space. They needed to think things over and then decide what they were doing about this situation. Arguing wasn't going to help and neither was getting overwhelmed and panicked. (Y/n) would go and stay with her sister for the night, for a day or two until she and Bobby had things all figured out.

She wasn't sure whether it was easier or harder when Bobby didn't stop her.

He couldn't stop himself. As soon as the front door closed, Bobby grabbed the nearest thing to hand, which happened to be a candle holder, and tossed it against the wall. He watched the glass shatter and lumps of wax scatter along the floor resembling the broken pieces of his heart that Bobby couldn't mould back together yet.

He wasn't sure how long he had been sat at the kitchen table. He didn't know what time it was or where his phone was or what he was going to do. He had no idea if (Y/n) had messaged him, he didn't know if she had actually gone to Anna's or if she decided to go somewhere else. He didn't know if Hen finished the shift okay and if the team were all alright.

All he knew was that he needed to do something. He needed to explain. He needed to get all the thoughts from his head and the weight off of his heart before it gave out.

His fingers drummed against the table to the point he was sure he would be leaving indents in the wood and his knee jutted into the underside of the table every other second in a continuous manner.

But after another minute, maybe two, Bobby turned around. He found a spare piece of paper from the drawer behind him.

He snatched a pen from the bowl in the centre of the table and tried to write. He wasn't sure where he wanted to start, where it would lead or what he was doing.

All Bobby knew was that he had to do something before he imploded.

The tears trickling down his face splotched onto the fresh ink on the paper and created dark hazy blue welts across the page, but it didn't stop him from writing. It didn't stop him from pouring his bleeding, crumpling heart out onto the page that had (Y/n)'s name written across the top.

'I was the catalyst last time. I was the cause, the effect and the reason; it's my fault they're gone.'

Bobby didn't want to do it again. He didn't want to get so close to someone, to share his life and his heart and create a new life with them only to lose them both. He would love nothing more than to have a baby with (Y/n), but Bobby wasn't so sure he deserved it. And he would never want to do this if sometime in the future both (Y/n) and their baby would resent him.

'Maybe I don't deserve this second chance, no matter how much I want it. And if that's true, then I'm never going to be enough for either of you.'

***

Three days.

(Y/n) had been staying with Anna for three days and she didn't know what to do anymore.

She had been too nervous, too overwhelmed and sick to go into work yesterday, today as well. Morning sickness didn't combine well with anxiety and (Y/n) had thrown up everything she had tried to eat since she'd been staying with her sister.

Sinking back into the sofa, (Y/n) closed her eyes and burrowed her face into the cushion. She wanted to disappear. Well, she actually wanted to go home. Being here with Anna had been nice for the first night, to spend a bit of time with her big sister, but it wasn't home. This wasn't where (Y/n)'s heart wanted to be and she was becoming desperate to be back in Bobby's arms.

But she couldn't just go back home if her and Bobby weren't on speaking terms. She figured he was still thinking things over and deciding how he felt about this, and that was okay. He needed time, but (Y/n) didn't know what to do with herself.

She tried to focus on the sound of the tv that was on low in the background, but it couldn't overpower the thumping of her heart that was pulsing in her ears.

She didn't feel well.

She hadn't been feeling well for a while, presumably because she was too nervous to eat and kept throwing everything back up again.

A gasp tumbled past her lips and her hand suddenly moved down to press into her abdomen when a sudden pain jolted through her.

Her eyes snapped open and she tilted her head down to look at her stomach as if she could see through her skin and find the cause of the pain. Her eyes narrowed as her body tensed up and she waited, trying to hold her breath to see if she had just moved the wrong way and tensed a muscle. But when the pain ignited again and felt like a sharp cramp, her body started to shake.

She waited. The tv faded into static in her ears and she waited for a while, begging for this just to be her body telling her she had to go and get something to eat. But it didn't feel like it was her stomach that was cramping from lack of food. It was her abdomen, and they were turning into sharp pains.

"Oow… no, please."

Her palm pressed down into her abdomen and she slowly pushed up off the cushion and reached across for her phone on the coffee table.

Shivers coursed up and down her spine and her body started to tremble when she unlocked her phone and found Bobby's contact.

She called him without hesitation. (Y/n) had no idea whether Bobby was still at work or if he was in bed after a night shift or if he was getting ready for work. She couldn't remember what his shifts were this week and she didn't have the calendar in front of her to see what he had written down for his work pattern.

Her free hand pressed down into her abdomen and she creased forward, hating the tears that were beginning to streak down her face as she begged for Bobby to answer the phone. He couldn't always pick up if he was at work.

"Hey sweetheart, I'm glad you called."

His voice was like music to (Y/n)'s ears.

There was something bright yet deflated in Bobby's tone at the same time. He was relieved (Y/n) had called. He didn't want to call her first because he wanted her to let him know when she was ready to talk, she had been the one to leave, to take a break and Bobby wanted her to take all the time she needed.

That didn't stop him from sending a message every now and then, asking if she was okay, hoping she was alright and to message him if she needed anything. He wasn't good at being on radio silence.

The last three days had been hard. Bobby could barely concentrate; he didn't know what to do with himself. And he hadn't been home except to sleep, he went to work yesterday when he was supposed to have the day off because he couldn't stand to be home when (Y/n) wasn't there; it wasn't home without her. Strange, how he had gone from feeling comfortable with his own presence to hating his home if (Y/n) wasn't in it.

"Can you help me?" The feeble tone to her voice made Bobby's heart tense and his hand curled into a fist at his side until his nails were puncturing into his palm.

"What's wrong?"

"I- I'm getting cramps… Bobby, I don't k-know what to do." It was clear she was doing her level best not to cry and that made Bobby's heart stutter.

She sounded frightened. He didn't like that, not one bit. Why did she have to be in pain when he wasn't there?

"Are you still at Anna's?" When he heard her hum in agreement he nodded to himself. "Then I'm coming to get you. I won't be long, okay? Just wait there for me, sweetheart."

Bobby hated to panic Hen when he told her she was now in charge for the remainder of the shift, again. But he didn't have time to explain. He had to get to his partner. He had to go and get (Y/n).

All Bobby could see when he was driving was (Y/n) flashing before his eyes. Had he done this? Was this his fault? If they had talked properly three days ago and didn't leave things the way they did, would this be happening now?

Oh God, was she going to lose the baby? Was God going to punish Bobby for not taking this chance the moment he got it? Was this his punishment- was God punishing him again by hurting (Y/n)?

It didn't take him long to get to Anna's house and Bobby wasn't sure he was relieved or not to find that Anna's car wasn't there. He didn't like the thought of (Y/n) suffering and being in pain on her own, but at least this way he could take her to the emergency room and look after her himself.

He didn't even get chance to knock on the door. By the time he got out the car and hooked the keys on his thumb, the front door was open.

He hustled up the front steps, only now aware that he was still in his starched work trousers and cotton shirt, both of which smelled like smoke and were layered with dust. And he swiped the back of his hand across his face to smear off any smoke or dirt that was clinging to his skin.

"Alright sweetheart, I'm here." He passed over the threshold and found (Y/n) stood to one side, leaning heavily on the wall.

She didn't look well. Tears streaming down her face, lower lip wobbling, eyes hazy with pain and she had one arm deadlocked around her waist like it would do something to take the pain away.

Bobby was taken back when (Y/n) immediately pushed off the wall and almost fell into his arms. Her face burrowed down into his chest and her arm deadlocked around his waist while her other arm stayed imbedded between them, pressing into her abdomen.

"Talk to me," He murmured quietly into her hair while one hand held her arm and the other cupped the back of her neck.

"My stomach, it hurts." (Y/n) kept her face meshed into Bobby's chest with her nose squashed against his sternum and her fingers digging into his back like she thought he was going to be ripped from her hold at any moment.

"Okay, then let's get you down to the emergency room and get you checked out."

Bobby didn't like how quiet was on the way down to the hospital. He hated the silence, but he could understand that she didn't know what to say and wasn't in the mood to try and strike up small talk.

Every time he glanced to the right to check on her, he could feel his breaths running away without him whenever she winced. He watched how she had one hand resting on her stomach, but her shoulders twitched and pulled inwards whenever she had a cramp.

Although when she reached her free hand out and gripped his thigh, Bobby reached down and took her hand tightly in his.

(Y/n) stayed quiet when they got to the emergency room. As soon as they were inside, she burrowed her face into Bobby's chest again and huddled up beneath his arm that bound around her back like an iron bar of protection. She let Bobby reel off her information and what was happening and her eyes stayed closed even as he guided her across to sit down in the waiting area that was unusually quiet.

She tried to focus on the feeling of Bobby's hand gliding up and down her arm, and his lips that were attached to the top of her head. When he moved his other hand to rake up and down her thigh, she almost melted against his chest.

His touch made her feel calmer, but it didn't stop the thoughts from rushing round in her head. What if this was fate's way of making the choice for them? Maybe fate thought that this wasn't the right thing for them and was trying to take the baby away. (Y/n) didn't want that; but she wasn't so sure about Bobby.

"You're gonna be fine."

It was almost as if Bobby could read her thoughts. He stroked his hand up and down her arm and spoke into her hair while his eyes darted around the waiting room, taking everything in. He wished he had his rosary beads with him; it might have calmed them both down a little and he would of prayed.

This wasn't what Bobby wanted. He was worried about being given a second chance, but that didn't mean that he wanted (Y/n) to lose the baby. He didn't want that. This life hadn't started yet, but it was precious and Bobby didn't want to lose their baby.

When her name was called, Bobby kept his arm around her waist and let (Y/n) stay tucked up into his side. His hand squeezed her hip and his lips pressed a few dozen kisses to the side of her head as they followed after the doctor down into the assessment ward.

"Okay, the notes say you're experiencing cramps. Do you know how far along you are?"

(Y/n) sat down on the bed in the middle of the room, but when Bobby went to stand out the way, her hand immediately reached out for him. She didn't want him to sit at the back of the room or stand to one side, she wanted Bobby to stay as close as possible. She wasn't sure she could bear this if they were going to get bad news.

He was stood beside her within a second, his hand tangled in hers and his other hand cupping the side of her neck so he could kiss her temple.

"Ten weeks or so."

"Any bleeding?" She jotted down a few notes when (Y/n) shook her head. "Let's take a look, and then we'll draw some blood and go from there."

(Y/n) sat up on the bed and swung her legs over, but she couldn't look at the doctor once she lifted her shirt. Her eyes deadlocked with Bobby as he took a step closer to the bed, keeping tight hold of her hand while his other arm panned across his chest.

They both stayed silent as the doctor checked her stomach and prodded around for any sensitive areas. When she pressed on (Y/n)'s upper stomach she felt like she was going to be sick, but she knew she hadn't eaten anything to be able to do that.

She couldn't look. Once the ultrasound began, (Y/n) closed her eyes and turned her head in Bobby's direction. Maybe she shouldn't have told him. Maybe if she'd waited a few more days, this would of occurred and neither of them would of had to argue or sit in anguish for the past few days. Had this been inevitable? Or was she losing the baby because fate decided this wasn't in their cards?

"Well, bloodflow looks good, everything is in place. The good news is you're not having a miscarriage, the pains could be routine or from stress or not eating right."

When (Y/n) snapped her eyes open, she looked up but her jaw loosened when she watched Bobby's expression change. He didn't look shell-shocked or upset or confused or blank. He was smiling. (Y/n) didn't think she would see Bobby smile in regards to this pregnancy, at least not yet and she thought he would simply look relieved or squeeze her hand. He was smiling.

"Does- does that mean there's bad news?" (Y/n) pulled Bobby's hand close to her chest while his free hand started to glide up and down her thigh. She didn't miss the way he leaned towards her to try and get a look at the monitor.

It had been a long while since he'd been in this position and seen a baby up on the screen. His baby.

"Well that depends on your views on twins."

Twins. Two babies.

A shiver coursed down (Y/n)'s spine when she suddenly felt Bobby's hand cupping the back of her neck so he could lean over her. His lips attached to her temple but (Y/n) grinned when she felt him chuckling against her skin and squeezing her hand.

Reaching up, she cupped his neck and closed her eyes, tilting her temple more into his touch. This was good news. This was all good news.

***

"You sure you feel okay?"

A tender look spread across (Y/n)'s face as she headed inside and aimed for the kitchen. She could feel Bobby hovering close behind her, following her lead inside their home.

"I'm fine," She reassured, reaching her hand behind her until she found his arm and gave it a gentle squeeze.

She'd had some medication at the hospital to relax her and some anti sickness meds so she could actually have something to eat. She felt a lot better and because the cramps had gone and her blood works had come back fine, she had been sent home. She was fine. The babies were fine.

She dropped her bag from her shoulder and slumped it onto the kitchen table, but her eyes narrowed and her head tilted to one side when she looked down.

"What's this?"

Bobby had written her a letter? He didn't usually write letters to anyone, he wasn't even one for writing long text messages, he preferred to talk or argue or rant in person rather than on paper. But when (Y/n) picked up the letter which had her name in Bobby's cursive handwriting along the top, she couldn't resist.

It was addressed to her, if it weren't she would have inquired but left the letter alone.

She jumped when she felt Bobby's hands on her hips and his chin perching down on her shoulder, but she continued to read the letter. If he didn't want her to he would of said something or tore the letter from her hands. His lips attached to the side of her neck and he rhythmically squeezed her hips every now and then while he patiently waited for her to read his words.

His chest pressed down into her back like he was moulding himself around her like a blanket and it was comforting.

But (Y/n) could feel tears welling up in her eyes and spilling over her cheeks when she read his words.

He didn't have to feel nervous. He didn't have to have doubts or feel like he wasn't going to be enough for her and the baby- both babies. Bobby was always going to be everything (Y/n) wanted and needed, and their kids were going to feel exactly the same.

When she placed the letter down on the table next to her bag, (Y/n) spun around in Bobby's arms and looped her arms around his neck. She pushed up on her toes until she could attach her lips to the junction behind his ear but she felt the way he shivered when he felt her tears soaking into his skin.

Something soft crossed Bobby's face and he smiled tearily when he felt (Y/n) murmuring "I'm sorry," into his neck. As if she had anything to apologise for.

"That's my line."

Everything Bobby hadn't been able to say three days ago was written down in that letter. Every worry, every bad thought, every reason why he didn't feel like this was the life he deserved. It was all there for her to see, but right at the bottom of the note, he'd written another line of truth.

He told her the truth when he said he was happy. He may have been overwhelmed with anxiety, but he was still happy. He loved (Y/n) to the end of the Earth and having a baby with her was a dream Bobby never thought he would get.

"I can't help worrying, or believing that I don't deserve you or them. But I can promise to be here and do this with you. I want to be the best dad I can for them; for you."

[fatuismooches]

puer et monstrum.

synopsis: You attempt to help the adult raven reconcile with his younger fledgling self. In other words, four times Dottore ignored his child segment, the first time he didn’t, and the last time he did.

includes: dottore + platonic! zandy w/ gn! reader

notes: You grow to greatly love Zandy, Dottore's child segment, but you can't help but notice how your husband pays no attention to him. Therefore, you will try your best to change this. Fragile reader, lots of fluff, angst, very cute, you know the drill. Part of this fic is also greatly inspired by this ask (thank you to this anon!)

I. creation

At this point, Il Dottore had a good amount of experience creating segments.

Sure, the number of times he had failed was far greater than he liked, and he could count the number of successful segments with his fingers, but he had the general gist of the process and all. So, he decided it was time for him to create another segment of himself. This brought about the obvious question of what phase of his life he should bring back into this world. Dottore pondered this question for a while. He already made them all based on important parts of his life - when he was in the Akademiya, when he first became a Harbinger, and now one based on his current self not too long ago, just to name a few. He desired something new, something that could be vastly different.

In the end, he decided to create a child segment. 

His other segments were not very happy with the decision. A child would cry. A child would whine. A child could not do the tasks they could. A child would do… child things. It was a nuisance. But Dottore dismissed their complaints.

What good would a child’s perspective bring him? He didn’t know, but that was exactly the point. He didn’t know, which was why he sought the answer. And the only way to find this out was to create the child just as he’d done with his other younger selves.

After much time, money, and energy were exhausted, it was done. The child opened his eyes for the first time and saw a tall figure amidst the blinding lights. Once the masked man noticed his awakening, he looked at him, as if waiting for him to fully gain consciousness, and then spoke before the child could say anything.

“I am Dottore. You are a segment of mine that I created. You shall be called Ten.” After that brief statement, the man seemed to have finished all that he was going to say. That was when the child noticed the crowd of similar-looking blue-haired men as well, discussing things that he could not wrap his head around yet.

The child, now called “10”, had so many questions. Where was he? What does he do now? Why was he called a number? He doesn’t remember being called that before. Was he not Zandik anymore? The child wasn’t sure whether or not being ‘Zandik’ anymore was a good or bad thing. Maybe if he wasn’t ‘Zandik’ anymore, people wouldn’t scorn him so much.

Who are all these people, and why do they seem a bit similar to him? Being but a little kid, naturally, he was lost and confused, and he could not help but grasp the leg of the man called Dottore timidly. Immediately, the Harbinger stiffened at the contact, eyes swiftly moving to meet 10’s. The only person who ever touched him unprompted was you, but he had not felt your touch in centuries, so the sudden touch of the child surprised him. 

Though 10 could not see the taller man’s eyes, he didn’t think they were very kind. The child didn’t think the other man’s eyes were like his parents, or like the people from the village, no, but there was a certain feeling expressed toward him that 10 couldn’t explain. Regardless, 10 quickly received the message, and his hand slipped away from his creator’s.

“Tend to him,” was the lone order Prime gave the other segments before he left, leaving the little one all by himself, despite being surrounded by others.

II. curiosity

Being segments of the Harbinger meant they were busy people. Being the Harbinger himself meant that his time was even more sparse. This meant that any attention dedicated to 10 was few and far between, and pretty much always not of their own free will. One would think a child would be quite disheartened by the lack of attention, and well, they would be right, but 10 had long grown accustomed to being by himself ages ago considering his childhood. Did he like it? No, not yet at least. By the behavior of the other segments, he eventually grew to prefer being by himself. 

But 10 was still a child, curious about the world, which meant that he still did seek out the older segments’ company from time to time. Well, most of the time he was shooed away, but on rare occasions, 10 was able to be the recipient of some ranting by the younger segments or perhaps the observer of their intricate work (that was deemed acceptable to be viewed by children.) However, something 10 was able to learn was that there was one person whom the segments and Prime always seemed to offer their attention, willingly too.

[Name].

The kid seemed to be the only segment who didn’t really know you. 10 didn’t pay much attention to his older selves’ “patients”, but being an attentive and curious boy, he realized with due time that your name always seemed to be murmured by them. Not with the detached or annoyed tone the segments took on when regarding others, but it was different. Again, the young one had trouble putting his finger on it exactly, but if he had to put it into words, 10 would say they sounded a lot sweeter. It was an odd thing to say because if anyone else heard it, they certainly would not label the tone as sweet. It would probably sound simply normal to others. But that was truly what the child thought, maybe because he was connected to them in a way.

So of course, 10’s interest was very piqued. Oddly enough, for how nice they sounded, the child never saw a glimpse of you around the lab. 10 wondered what kind of person you were. How did you even know them? Would you talk about them in a sweet tone too? If you met him… would you speak about him that way as well? He wondered what it took for the older men to like you so much, maybe even… love? The child doesn’t know what love exactly looks like, but if love was anything like the stories he’s read, how the segments talk about you could be said to be a bit similar. 

But if 10 were to compare the two some more, maybe they aren’t that alike after all, considering all the things that were different. If segments loved you, wouldn’t you constantly be by their side, as lovers in fairytales do? If you two were apart, wouldn’t his creator be anguished by the loss of your presence, just like in the books? Yet whenever he saw the original, his expression seemed to always be the same - calculating, tired, seemingly more absorbed in his research than worried for another. (For the child does not understand how well Prime wears more masks than one.) 

So needless to say, 10 was confused. And with confusion comes curiosity, the need to seek out the answer, common for any child but especially for one as inquisitive as the blue-haired boy. In his room, 10 pondered for a while on what to do - he could try to sneak around for answers, but he imagined he’d get caught and scolded by the segments long before he found anything out. So, the child decided to simply ask about the matter. After all, the others always say asking questions is an important part of an experiment.

It’s still a gamble though, the child is well aware of the less than hospitable energy toward him by the others. They have a general… lack of patience for him. But still, persistence and the pursuit of knowledge are traits embodied in every version of Dottore. And so the child gathered up all his courage and set his little plan into action.

It was like any other day 10 had witnessed in the far too familiar lab. He had made sure to wake up in the very early morning - it was the best opportunity to catch a few segments together before they split up to do their separate tasks. Well, hopefully, they were there, some of them tended to stay locked up in their respective labs until they figured out the answer to what they were seeking. The child surprisingly had little sleepiness remaining in his system, the anticipation of the answer he would receive keeping him awake.

For once, it looked as though the segments were not bickering. It wasn’t quiet either though, they seemed to be discussing something work-related. But that was beside the point. Upon entering the room, the segments were a bit surprised to see 10, for it was obviously out of the ordinary for the kid to be awake, much less roaming around at this hour.

“What are you doing awake?” The Akademiya segment, 01, didn’t bother to hide his tone, unwilling to be vexed further with all the work he had left to do. But the child had come here with a determination that wouldn’t be swayed.

“I have a question,” 10 stated. The next segment who spoke didn’t spare a glance at him.

“And it could not wait until morning? You felt the need to interrupt us now?” 04’s response was blunt and straight to the point as usual - he was a segment that was perpetually annoyed. 10 couldn’t remember a time when he’d ever seen a smile on this segment. And yet 04 seemed kinder to him than when he interacted with others. 

Meanwhile, 02 watched with an unreadable expression behind his spotted mask. It was hard to predict what response you would get from 02 - would he be annoyed and snappy or perhaps treat you with a dose of excitement and interest? This time, however, it was the latter, as a grin crept its way onto his face.

“No, I want to hear this question. Surely, it must be greatly important for you to go to such lengths, yes?” 02’s red eyes gleamed, intrigued by the child segment’s nod. 10 nervously swallowed before squaring his shoulders resolutely.

“Who is [Name]?” 

And then all the miscellaneous noises in the lab came to an abrupt halt. 24, who usually remained uninterested in the conversations of his other segments, had suddenly tuned into the discussion at the mention of your name. The other present segments, who were absorbed in their work mere moments ago, now had their undivided attention on the child. 

“No one,” 04 said flatly, but the damage was already done. It was obvious that was a lie, and the child’s eyes glittered with enthusiasm as he began bouncing around to each segment.

“Who are they? What are they like? You like them, don’t you?” At the last question, 01 scowled at the declaration, hoping no one would notice the slight color of red at the tips of his ears. 02’s previous demeanor had changed into a blank yet thoughtful one, while 04 looked exasperated at the whole situation.

“How do you know about [Name]?” 24 was the one who finally responded to the child, and 10 awkwardly halted his barrage of questions. If 10 was being honest, 24 was probably the scariest of all the segments. The one closest to Prime and the most selfish.

“Well, all of you have mentioned them at least once… and when you do say their name, it just sounds like you like them. A lot,” 10 stared at the ground as he shared his observation. “You don’t sound like that for anyone else.” The segments were silent once more. The question was, were they that obvious, or was the brat just really attentive? The answer was most likely the latter, but still. This wasn’t a good look for them.

“I suppose this was bound to happen sooner or later,” 01 had recovered from his embarrassment, “Considering how much Two prattles on about them.” 02 frowned at the sudden accusation.

“Excuse me? That is rich coming from you,” the clone quickly snapped back, for the other was no exception to carrying on about you. 24 just grimaced at the start of another bickering session between his other selves.

“A-Anyway!” 10 interrupted the others before he could be ignored. “Can I know who they are? Can I see them?” The child pleaded earnestly as another pause swept through the room.

“You will not stop begging until we say yes, won’t you?” 04 sighed. “However, that decision is up to Prime.” 10’s shoulders drooped. He wasn’t really sure if Prime would listen to him, considering how rarely they ever spoke.

However, miraculously enough, a few days later, his wish was granted. He doesn’t know why Prime decided to do it, but 10 was just happy he’d finally know about the mysterious person! Funnily enough, the news had spread to all the segments, and all of them had decided to gather in the same space to tell their own opinion about you. 10 had never seen them… congregate like this. They seemed to enjoy the common topic - you - but the squabbling about certain matters (again, you) still took place. The child learned more things about you than he even understood. 

But he knew the basics now - you were their lover, meaning you loved them and they loved you, which even though it was not explicitly said, the child knew it anyway. This was obviously something a bit difficult for 10 to wrap his head around, but he found the idea thrilling. He knew his older selves well enough to know that you must be a pretty amazing person to have them so interested. 

Unfortunately, the child couldn’t prove this hypothesis of his, as he later found out the reason why you were nowhere to be seen. 10 remembers the first time he saw you, accompanied by another segment (18, this time.) Hooked up to a machine with countless wires, hands laying limp by your side, along with your chest that unnoticeably rose and fell. You were nothing like what 10 thought you’d look like. And yet he too thought you were beautiful. Sure, the child couldn’t see your eyes or smile or hear your voice, but as he held your hand and compared it to his much smaller one, he just had a feeling you were nothing like the grown-ups that he once knew long ago. But 10 was disappointed.

“Is [Name] going to be okay?” 10 worriedly looked at the segment, wondering about your current state. The others hadn’t disclosed many details about your illness.

“They will,” 18 affirmed. At least this segment was nicer to him than the others, with his softer tone and gentler mannerisms. He was still a Dottore segment, however. “One day they will wake up.” With that as his only answer, 10 went back to tracing the lines on the palm of your cold hand, hoping you would open your eyes again soon just like the other blue-haired men.

Since then, 10 found himself visiting your silent room, save for the beep-beeps from your machines, more and more often. There was just something about this unmoving, sleeping grown-up that drew him in. 10 had so many questions to ask you… but for now, he settled for reading his stories aloud to you. Maybe you could hear them too. Occasionally, some other segments dropped in to check on you, but they didn’t pay much mind to him other than reminding him not to touch anything, as his presence near you had become commonplace.

However, on one particular day, 10 found that your room was already occupied by someone else. 10 had heard a familiar yet muffled voice coming from inside, yet he could not make out the exact words from outside in the hallway. Carefully padding closer to the room, the child strained his ears to make out the words. It sounded like the person was talking to another, like a conversation, only that it seemed one-sided since 10 could only distinguish one voice. Finally, he got the courage to gently push the door open a bit more and peek to see who it was inside.

It wasn’t merely a segment there to check on you, no, this time it was Prime Dottore himself, sitting near your side in the same chair that the child always sat in. The child was surprised - he rarely ever saw Prime outside of his lab or office, and when he did, it was usually when Prime was forced to attend to certain Fatui duties. Of course, he never paid much attention to his child segment. Unfortunately, 10 had stared a bit too much, as the original quickly noticed his presence and immediately got up from the seat. 10 jumped a bit too, instinctively pulling back and hiding against the wall. But it was too late.

“Come in.” 10 had no option other than to comply, as he shyly stepped into your room, still clinging to the wall. The child nervously swallowed as he scrambled for an excuse as to why he was intruding.

“Um… I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were in here,” 10 apologized meekly, hands behind his back as his eyes flicked from Dottore’s face to the floor. The older man’s expression was unreadable, and it was silent for a good few moments before he spoke.

“I see,” was all Dottore said before he started walking toward 10, or rather, the door. The child looked up at the figure that had now gone past him, words leaving his mouth before he could think.

“Were you talking to [Name]? Do you miss them too?” Now that 10 thought about it, he had heard all about what the other segments had to say about you, but he still didn’t know the original’s feelings. Still, the child was surprised at himself for being able to ask Prime that. At the question, Dottore stopped in his tracks, seemingly contemplating whether he should respond or dismiss him before he turned around and faced his child segment, who then stiffened at the direct look.

“I hear that you’re with them quite often.” 10’s eyes widened at the response and nodded, although it wasn’t really an answer to his questions. “[Name] enjoys your company.” This only served to confuse the child even more, as he then glanced at your body. (For only Dottore knows about the time he found you asleep with a smile after the little boy left your room.)

“They… do? How do you know?” But when 10 looked back, Dottore was already gone. Well, he knew not to expect much conversation from him anyway, but still, he was greatly curious at his words. Regardless, 10 then walked up to you and made himself comfy near your bedside.

“Why do you like him so much, [Name]?” 10 inquired, playing with your fingers as he rested his cheek on your body. But of course, he received no answer from the person he was closest with yet farthest away from in this lab.

Even at the end of all of this, 10 still wasn’t exactly sure of what to think of you, having not had a real conversation with you yet, but he thought you seemed really cool, even while hooked up to a machine.

III. close

Change was not something 10 was familiar with. He was stuck as a kid forever, he was stuck in the lab, unable to leave like the other segments, he was stuck with the same toys and stories and other various pastimes that had long grown boring. So, the excitement of the unpredictable was something sorely lacking in the child’s life. Not to mention, the lab was a pretty dark place, both figuratively and literally. Although the boy was used to it, he wished it would be a bit more lively.

And after countless years of wishing, his wish finally came true. You, the mysterious sleeping grown-up that he only heard stories about, [Name], had finally woken up from centuries-long slumber. 10 was, to put it in a child’s simple words, “super happy”, but anyone else could see that his feelings went beyond that. However, despite 10’s great desire to meet you, he had decided to wait a bit, just to observe you.

The child followed you around, looking at you from afar, always slipping away before you could notice his presence. Seeing you up and walking around was so different from the once unmoving body he was so accustomed to. He listened to your voice. He watched you relearn so many things. He saw how sweetly you interacted with the other segments, and how keen they were for your touch, how they would tend to you on your weaker days. The child had never seen anything like it. 10 would have never believed the amount of change one mere person could bring. Meanwhile, the segments remained indifferent to the boy.

The more 10 watched you, the more he finally wanted to bask in your attention too. But the boy was scared. He remembered all the other adults in his life, from the village, and how they all looked and treated him with contempt. Could you be like that too? He wanted to think the answer was no, from how kind you seemed, but all the adults were so nice to the others except for him.

But maybe, maybe this time, it could be different. Everyone else approved of you after all. 10 wanted to trust you.

For once, his trust was not betrayed. After 10 finally introduced himself to you, you had given him so much attention it made his head spin. Your gentle and loving yet not overbearing demeanor. The way you listened to him seriously and reciprocated the energy, taking part in his childish activities. He was enthralled, to say the least.

You, on the other hand, were initially mystified by the appearance of the child. Not just any child, Dottore’s child self. Just to let that sink in, you had to keep repeating it to yourself. 10 was Dottore’s child self. He was him as a kid. What you were looking at was the embodiment of Zandik as a little boy. You couldn’t really believe your eyes at first. But he was real. Very real, from his higher-pitched voice (that was a really sharp contrast to Omega, for example) to his childlike demeanor and innocence.

The whole deal with the segments already took a bit for you to get accustomed to, but this was sort of new territory for you. After all, even though you’d known Dottore for so long, his childhood was something that came up rather infrequently. You chose not to pry further when you learned of how poorly he was treated as a child and instead offered him comfort in other ways. It had always made your heart ache and you wished you could do something more about it, to soothe his pain even just a bit. But now you quite literally had him in front of you, in a way. Quickly, your mind began working and formulating something.

Maybe… maybe you could help him by helping 10.

Sure, it sounded a bit stupid and probably useless at first, but there was no harm in trying. If anything else, you would be making 10 smile. From what you could infer, his life within this lab was far too dour for your liking.

Regardless, all those hours flew by in the blink of an eye, so much so that it felt like a dream. Was it, 10 wondered. But then the next day he found you eagerly waiting for him so you could spend more time with him. And the next. And the following day. And next week. Next month. And by then, he and the other were no longer merely numbers, but rather, they had names bestowed upon them, to truly identify them as individuals. 

And so, 10 had become Zandy. The difference between his past and present self was just as stark as the name change. It wasn’t just him, either. The other segments seemed different too with you around, in a good way. In all honesty, the young boy thought you were magical because he thought this kind of reality would only be possible in fairy tales. Needless to say, Zandy admired you greatly and sought you out quite frequently. 

He was happy to have you help him with his various assignments - to which your eyes nearly popped out when you saw the length and difficulty of some of the questions. You did help him, despite your shaky hands, but most of the time you stole him away to do much more fun things, that were “more important” according to you. The segments kept their thoughts to themselves unless they wanted to hear you gently scold them. It was amazing, Zandy thought.

The conversation of love had happened one day when you were putting him to bed after a long day. It had become a sort of routine for the two of you. You liked it because why wouldn’t you, it was the cutest thing ever. Zandy liked it because of how nice you were even when he really didn’t want to sleep yet, always indulging him with a story or a warm glass of milk. The segments liked it because they didn’t need to deal with him. 

“[Name], you love the segments, right?” Zandy had noticed that the word ‘love’ came out of your mouth rather frequently, compared to the other blue-haired men. You blinked at the question.

“Yes, I do. Why?” You asked as you tucked him in for the night alongside his Ruin Guard plushies (that you extorted the segments for.)

“All of them?”

“Of course.”

“Omega and Beta and Alpha and Delta and Zeta and-” His words were stopped by your laughter.

“Yes, dear. And Theta and Psi and Epsilon and- you don’t need me to list out all of their names, right?” Zandy shook his head but he still had another question for you.

“How much love do you have in you, [Name]?” The child couldn’t help but wonder how you did it - loving that many people seemed like a lot of work. You chuckled at the question.

“Very, very, much. You cannot put a quantity to love. It just happens when I’m surrounded by so many lovely people,” you kissed the boy on his forehead. “And that goes for you too. I love you very much, Zandy.” The child’s eyes widened as he fell silent, to which you questioned.

“Zandy? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he mumbled, his words further muffled by how he had now pulled the blanket over his head. You quickly connected the dots. He had probably never been told before that he was loved. You moved your hand under the blankets until you could feel one of his tiny hands, and then intertwined your fingers with the child’s.

“Hey, no need to lie to me, dear. You don’t have to hide around me,” you tried to gently soothe Zandy and coax him out when he spoke again.

“How do you know?”

“How do I know what?”

“That you love me.” His head popped back out of the blanket as he stared at you with big, uncertain eyes, but you only smiled in response.

“Well… for me, it’s simple. It brings me great joy to see you happy and smiling, and I want to make sure you continue to do so. I want to protect you, and I don’t ever want to see you hurt or sad. I want to make sure all of your wishes and dreams come true, and I want to keep you safe.” You said as you stroked Zandy’s hair. (You would have said that you loved him just as any parent would love their son, but you knew that with his experiences… it may not have been the most efficient.) Zandy’s lowered his eyes as he began to chew on his lip in thought.

“I don’t know if I’ve ever loved anyone before, [Name].” Zandy thought back to his parents, people whom he thought he loved, but now that he had you around, he realized that his feelings for them were nothing compared to what you made him feel. Loved. 

“That’s quite alright. Love is a beautiful thing, but it isn’t easy. What matters is that one tries.” That was a lesson all the segments could use. It was a bit confusing for Zandy, but somehow, he felt he understood.

“I see…” The sleepiness had finally fully hit Zandy as his eyes began to droop.

“Now, go to sleep. You don’t want to wake up tired tomorrow.” The child nodded and snuggled more under the cover. “Sweet dreams, dear.” You squeezed his hand before kissing his forehead one last time, and then getting up to turn off the light. As the room turned dark, you heard a small voice from behind you.

“I… love you, [Name].” It was quiet enough that if you weren’t paying attention, you might not have heard it, but you found his shyness endearing.

“I love you too, my child.” You smiled before exiting Zandy’s room, leaving him to have wonderful dreams, and then you were slightly startled by the man waiting outside for you. Dottore, rather, Prime Dottore himself. Zandik.

“Dottore. You’re here. I’ve missed you!” Your surprise quickly morphed into happiness as you saw the person you loved. He looked pleased to see you as well, as you linked your arm around his. “I hope I didn’t keep you too long. I was putting Zandy to bed.”

“I am aware. You do so every day.” You giggled, a little bit embarrassed.

“Well, someone needs to. You know, you should join us! We could always use another playmate.”

“I believe you are far more suited to the task than I am. Moreover, how have you been feeling as of late? It seems you have more energy than usual.” The way he quickly changed the conversation didn’t go unnoticed by you. You had told yourself that you wanted to help Dottore by helping Zandy, but it seemed to you that he rarely ever interacted, or even wanted to interact with the child. Dottore didn’t talk to his segments much in general, but he still had to for experiments and general Fatui business. Zandy, however, was the exception. It did hurt your heart to see it happen.

Back in your room, you had some thinking to do.

Now that you thought about it, you should have seen this coming. It made a lot of sense for Dottore to behave like this. You knew his feelings toward his childhood, towards himself in fact. But was it right? Was it fair? Of course not, at least in your opinion. However, you didn’t know what Zandy thought about this. You had yet to see the two together, and you had never asked him about Prime either. 

You wondered what your lover thought when he heard of you and Zandy together, you hugging and showering him in affection. Did he like it? Was he annoyed? Or did he not care, maybe something else? You always prided yourself on being able to comprehend him but…

This wasn’t going to be easy.

But you would see it to the end.

IV. complex

You often enjoyed taking walks around the lab. It was a good pastime and a way to keep your body active, not to mention the times you’d bump into a segment and end up taking a little break with him. Although you enjoyed the time by yourself, it could be a bit too lonely sometimes, which was precisely why Zandy came along. 

You had found out that he knew every nook and cranny of this place like the back of his hand, having explored it for countless years as he had nothing better to do. Therefore, Zandy often showed you around the lab, more specifically, the unknown and harder-to-reach parts, also known as his favorite hiding spots. You were quite grateful for his assistance, as you were sure you’d never discover some of these places on your own. 

Zandy was a bundle of energy that you could handle, well, most of the time at least. Were it not for your illness, you would have matched it easily. You felt a bit bad about not being able to keep up with him, but the child never minded. Although he tended to run in the halls and drag you around, he always paid attention to whether you seemed to need a break. A real sweetheart, indeed. 

Today was one such day.

You and Zandy had already been in this area before, but it was so big you couldn’t complete it all in one day. The kid was eager to continue exploring with you, scampering in front of you and then jumping in place for you to catch up. You believed he was especially excited because, on one of these journeys, you two had discovered some sort of creature… or rather creatures lurking around. 

The corridors always had some darkness to them, so you had not noticed the black puff balls hiding until one of them popped open its singular red eye at you. You would have yelped if you weren’t in awe of the cuteness of the silly creature. Similarly, once Zandy followed your line of sight, stars appeared in his eyes as more black puff balls came out of nowhere, and began scurrying toward you. The singular blue strand of hair reminded you of someone. Your best guess was that it was one of Dottore’s failed experiments.

Before you could advise the child to be cautious of these pufflings, Zandy had scooped one up already and was petting it. At least they seemed to be friendly - they had even gifted you a couple of shiny things, tiny pieces of minerals. And you swore you caught sight of a fluffy blue thing with a tail peering from afar too that seemed to be too shy to approach. Perhaps Dottore would let you keep them as a pet if you asked?

You giggled to yourself as you finished reminiscing about that. You did hope you ran into those things again. Meanwhile, Zandy had already gone ahead, turning into another hall.

“Now Zandy, don’t run too fast before you trip and fall!” You called after him, increasing the pace of your steps to chase after him.

“Come on, all the Mr. Fluffies are wait-” Zandy’s joyful voice abruptly stopped. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion before pushing yourself to jog a little faster. And that’s when you saw the reason why he had stopped - Dottore was standing over the little boy, the height difference so palpable that they both had to crane their neck to view the other. It seemed that Zandy bumped into him, but you were happy to see your two favorite people together. Perhaps this was a good chance to put another plan into action!

“Hello, Dottore. I’m glad to see you out of your office so much,” you greeted your lover with a pleasant smile. The man had no expression, while the boy hid his relief when he saw you. You tried not to bite your lip.

“I did not expect to see you here.”

“You know I like to take my daily walks, so Zandy here was just showing me some more places to go. But it looks like your secret spots aren’t so secret anymore, are they Zandy?” You chuckled light-heartedly, but when you looked down, you saw that the child was fidgeting with his fingers awkwardly, clinging onto your cling.

“Mhm.” Your smile fell.

“I see.” The two did not make eye contact, the tension suffocating. You cleared your throat.

“W-We could use another person to-”

“Unfortunately, I am preoccupied at the moment,” the Harbinger quickly dismissed your request. “However, do remember not to push yourself. Your body is still weak.”

“... Of course.”

“Good.” With a nod to you and without further eye contact to Zandy, he walked away. You held back a sigh before you ruffled the kid’s hair.

“Shall we continue?” Your smile didn’t reach all the way to your eyes, but you hoped Zandy wouldn’t realize. But before you could move, he spoke.

“Why do you like him so much, [Name]?” The child repeated the question he remembered asking you while you were still asleep. This time, however, he would finally get an answer. You crouched down to Zandy’s level, placing your hands on his shoulders as you pondered what to say. 

“I love Dottore because… he makes me feel loved too. For centuries, he’s treated me better than anyone else. His kindness may not be typical, but I still receive it happily. His sweetness is bitter, but the taste is pleasurable. His love isn’t ordinary, but it soothes me either way.”

“That makes sense.” Zandy knew that wasn’t a lie. He had seen how his creator treated you. “Then Prime must feel the opposite toward me.”

“That’s not true.” You frowned as you immediately shot down the thought, stroking Zandy’s cheek gently. “Dottore just-” Before you could finish, Zandy looked up at you with a wide, forced smile as he broke free from your hold.

“It’s okay, [Name]. It doesn’t bother me. Now let’s go, I want to find those puffy things again!” And then the child was off, and you were left with an aching heart.

That same night, you paid Dottore a visit, unwilling to be a bystander in this anymore. At least he was doing paperwork this time. It was easier to gain his attention than when he was doing an experiment.

“Dottore.”

“Hello, [Name].” The scholar didn’t look up from his work, as he was already used to you popping in and hanging around for a bit.

“Are you busy?”

“I-”

“Good. We need to talk.” Dottore paused and looked up at you for a moment, who had now stood in front of him, your hands balled on his desk. He took in the dissatisfied look and thin line in replace of your usual smile, before responding.

“About?”

“Why do you ignore Zandy so much?” You said plainly, not in the mood to beat around the bush. From the way his pen stopped, you think he knew this was coming eventually.

“I simply do not have time to entertain the whims of a child.”

“It has nothing to do with that! I-, this is just basic decency. It feels to me that your lack of consideration is on purpose. It is, isn’t it?” Dottore was silent, not even moving his pen.

“Answer me, Zandik.”

“He has you. It is enough.”

“It is not enough. Zandy is a child. He is hurt by you. You are hurting yourself, Zandik. Do you expect me to be okay with this?” Dottore’s pen had started moving again. Your palms hurt from your fingers digging into them so harshly. In a last-ditch effort, you attempted to speak to him using those terms he liked so much.

“Did you not create him to understand his perspective of everything? So, how do you plan to do that if you do not try to speak to him?” It seemed you were not going to let this go.

“I created my segments to observe their perspectives. To preserve it,” Dottore clarified. 

“Observe?” You laughed at that. “Pray tell, how will you do that if you don’t even try to be around the child for more than five seconds? And besides, merely observing never brings you the most satisfying results. I thought you of all people would understand that,” you quipped back. 

“Please, at least… at least tell me you’re going to try. Just try, even if it doesn’t work out,” you pleaded with your love. Unfortunately, your words could not reach him.

“It is late. You should go to sleep.” You gritted your teeth at his response.

“Fine. Then I will simply treat you the same way as you do with Zandy.” As he opened his mouth to defy your declaration, you quickly spoke again. “If you think I won’t do it, then you forgot the person I was in the Akademiya, and who I still am now. I do this because I love every single version of you, Zandik, more than anything else in this world. If you want to test my love, then by all means go ahead, but I doubt you’ll find even one possibility where you’ll be able to. Good night.” Your tone was hard and biting as you left without letting him get in another word.

Dottore could only watch as you stormed out, leaning back in his chair to rub his forehead as his mask clattered to the ground. Il Dottore was used to getting his way. Zandik, however, not so much, especially when you were in the picture. This perspective of yours was always… always something he struggled to understand.

Of course, the Harbinger learned very quickly that you would make good on your word. Instead of his name being called, he had to deal with his segments being asked for instead.

“Omega, please administer the medicine for me today.”

“Delta, could you come over here? I feel a bit unsteady on my feet.”

“Sigma, would you visit me before bed? I would like someone to chat with.”

“Beta, let’s go to your lab. I’m bored!”

You walked past him without a glance. You did not ask him anything. You did not refer to him. He was practically invisible to you. You knew that you were technically being more harsh to him than he was to Zandy, but you weren’t going to stop. You also hoped that helping Dottore to be kind to Zandy would eventually spread to the other segments too. The segments were initially baffled by the turn of events but quickly adjusted to it, although the look Prime gave them certainly wasn’t something they wanted to endure. It didn’t need to be said that Prime was awfully upset, despite his unbothered expression.

In the past, every time you had pulled a stunt or something after an argument, Dottore would find it amusing. He had a bad habit of being unyielding and refusing to admit he was in the wrong, and that was coupled with his idea that you were just being childish. But every time, you stuck it out until the end and refused to back down too. Eventually, he stopped finding it funny.

The stalemate went on for a while. Dottore’s bed had remained cold for far too long, no longer having the pleasant surprise of finding you on it sometimes. His office was silent, your visits becoming nonexistent. Despite how he chided you sometimes for bothering him, his mind had become preoccupied with thoughts of you and what you were doing. It wasn’t good for someone who had so much work to do, and for someone who hated giving in. This simply wouldn’t do.

At the very least, he could at least still follow you around to see your sweet smile and laughter. You just didn’t know. However, it seemed every time he longed for you, you also happened to be with the kid. For a long time, every time he saw you be so sweet to the child, it felt like seeing an impossibility become a possibility, and yet he tried his best to ignore it. He knew how fond you were of his child segment, well, Zandy as you’ve come to call him, and he… he just didn’t…know how to feel.

Yet now he felt himself somehow drawn to the scene, in a strange way. Was it because he liked seeing you happy, and the child seemed to bring out your brightest smiles? Was it because seeing his child segment like this wasn’t something he’d ever witnessed before? Was it because he himself had never been treated so kindly as a child, and yet now he was watching it happen in front of him? Was it because his deepest wishes that he buried with his childhood self were now becoming reality? Dottore ignored the answers to his own questions, attempting to finish a report that was long overdue for Pantalone, but his mind continued to wander about what he had witnessed.

Dottore remembers when he overheard you and Zandy having dinner.

You and Zandy were sitting across from each other eating. Well, it was more like you trying to convince the child to eat at least a few of his vegetables.

“Zandy, at least eat a few. You don’t need to finish it all,” you gently urged the child. “How else are you going to become big and strong?” 

“But they’re yucky,” he pouted. You chuckled.

“Perhaps I need to experiment more… I will find a way to prepare it in a way you like, my child. But for now, if you eat a bit more, I’ll… give you my dessert!” Zandy perked up at your words while stabbing the dreaded green thing with his fork.

“Deal!” He exclaimed while forcing the vegetable into his mouth (eating with his ‘family’ for once.)

Dottore remembers when he overheard you and Zandy playing a game.

You had recently purchased a game from abroad to pass the time. It had four surfaces and numerous columns that you needed to place small, medium, or large gears on. The objective was to place the right gears at the right locations in order to get them all going. Although you originally bought it for yourself, Zandy was quite excited by the idea, and you were never going to turn down an opportunity to challenge his brain. Within reason, of course.

In the end, you were content with simply watching the child play with the gears and figure out the answer by himself, or with small hints from you.

“Would you look at that! You’ve already finished all of the levels, and we’ve only started today… I didn’t even need to be here since you’ve got such a smart brain up there,” you teased, tapping Zandy’s forehead playfully. He blushed slightly.

“That’s not true. Your advice was really helpful, [Name]!”

“Perhaps, but your own thoughts were already more than enough. I would like to hear them more often.” The child glowed at the idea of you listening to him (instead of shunning him.)

“Okay!”

Dottore remembers when he overheard you reading Zandy a book.

You had a tendency to invite Zandy over to your room often, considering how much Zandy liked it. He marveled at the size and all your decorations, and the collections of your interests (how you had gotten Dottore to fund this was beyond the child’s imagination.) Not to mention, how soft and fluffy your numerous pillows were. Tonight, you were reading him a story, the child lying back against your chest as you held the storybook in front of you two. 

“Alright, I think that’s enough for tonight,” you said as you stifled a yawn, and you also noticed Zandy was doing the same. “We can continue tomorrow.”

“Okay…” Zandy mumbled tiredly enough not to put up a fight. You put the book to the side and turned off the lights (with a remote, courteously created by Dottore for the days you couldn’t get out of bed.) Pulling up the blankets, you were about to wish the boy good night when he spoke.

“[Name]?”

“Yes?”

“I always have lots of fun when I’m with you but… do I bother you too much? I know you’re probably busy and you also have your illness and-”

“Zandy. I love spending time with you. And even if I am busy, I will always make time for you, no matter what,” you promised the boy (unlike that man and woman who left him forever alone.)

“Oh…”

“See? So don’t ever feel bad about it,” you reassured Zandy, which left him with only the sweetest of dreams to dream.

Dottore remembers when he overheard you gently lecturing Zandy.

Children are pure-hearted and innocent, and even Dottore was once a child. It wasn’t hard to see that Zandy and his other older selves were starkly different. The former was kind and sweet, and the latter… well, you didn’t need to say it out loud. But the main point was that you didn’t need to worry too much about Zandy hiding stuff from you. Once you broke down his walls, he was a very open and honest child. Ninety-nine percent of the time, you’d say. But of course, children were children.

You had left the child in the kitchen while you went to retrieve a new cookbook the Eleventh Harbinger had gifted you, wanting to try out some new dishes especially since Zandy was interested. When you got back, however, you noticed that his face seemed a bit flushed and nervous, and his hands were in his pockets.

“Zandy? Everything alright?”

“Um, yeah!” His voice sounded a bit odd, and you squinted at him while he avoided eye contact. You’ve dealt with Dottore who was a smooth, easy talker that could spin lies like nothing. Zandy, on the other hand, was too easy to see through.

“Are you sure?” The boy nodded in response, probably so his voice wouldn’t betray him again. “Show me your hands.” But he only had a child’s level of lying, from the way his eyes gave it away.

“But-”

“Now.” Zandy very reluctantly showed you his hand, and you then saw one of his fingers was dripping blood. Your heart sank.

“You’re bleeding? I- What happened?!” You rushed him over to the sink and began washing it, while your other hand rummaged through the cabinets for some cotton or bandages.

“I wanted to be h-helpful and get the stuff out for you. But I dropped a plate and it broke and I tried to clean it up and I cut myself,” Zandy mumbled, clearly not wanting to admit his mistake. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You were already used to seeing your own blood drawn, but Zandy was a different story. Seeing your child hurt had made you dizzy and uneasy, even if it was just a cut.

“... I thought you would be mad.” Zandy’s voice was but a whisper, and your eyes softened.

“And why would I be mad at you?”

“B-Because I broke something…” You sighed as you placed the bandage around his tiny finger.

“But it was just an accident, right? Accidents happen, and furthermore, we have dozens of plates. I would never be mad at something as simple as that. And I care far more for your well-being rather than a mere plate. So next time, please don’t lie to me. Okay, Zandy?” You said gently but firmly, as you finished treating his finger (a far cry from what his punishment used to be, living in that house.)

“Okay, [Name]...” The boy hugged you afterward, blinking back his tears on your shirt so you wouldn’t see them.

Dottore remembers when he overheard you talking to Zandy about him.

The stand-off between you and Dottore had gone on long enough for even Zandy to realize, even though you tried to keep him out of the loop. You should have guessed that the child was going to ask you eventually.

“[Name], are you and Prime fighting?” The question came out of nowhere, surprising you but you hoped it didn’t show.

“We are just having a… disagreement, dear. Nothing to worry about. And no, it isn’t about you or anyone else. It is just a personal thing between us,” you added before Zandy could inquire. You hoped he didn’t feel guilty.

“Do you miss him?

“Of course.”

“Then why fig- disagree so much?”

“Zandy, some things in life can only be resolved with disagreements. You’re not going to see eye to eye with everyone, even those you love. But they’re necessary so that you can move on and grow stronger together,” you explained. “Neither of us enjoys having spats… even though he treats them like a joke sometimes,” the last part was mumbled under your breath, “but we do get through them every time, and although it’s definitely not easy, it’s worth it.” Zandy blinked thoughtfully at your response, (an unconventional depiction of healthy love, rather than the conventional portrayal of an unhealthy one he once knew.)

“You’re really strong, [Name].” 

“Strong? Not anymore. Patient? Yes,” you laughed, for you are the only one capable of loving a heretic.

Dottore remembers an awful lot, for someone who supposedly doesn’t care. He remembers all the moments you’ve spent with his child self, from when you were sleeping to when you woke up to the ones he heard through his segments. What you’ve introduced into Zandy’s life is the opposite of what Zandik’s life was like. Sheer love, to put it simply, even someone like him can see it, as he is no idiot. Dottore denies wanting to be accepted, and yet he is watching himself be accepted as he longed for. It makes him feel…

Regardless, this sort of mind wandering was no good for the Harbinger, especially the type where you have forced him to dwell about the child he is and isn’t. Before he knew it, the report sat untouched in front of him for a period of time.

Truly no good, and that is why his feet automatically move to find you once more. In truth, he hadn’t decided what he was going to say to you yet - whether to admit that in his heart he has yielded to you but his words will probably be the opposite. 

It wasn’t hard to find you. You were usually in your room or a segment’s, or with a segment himself, minus the times you decided to take walks. At this time though, you’d probably be with the child.

Dottore was right. But it wasn’t quite what he had expected.

You and Zandy had fallen asleep… on the floor, hands barely brushing each other. Dottore sighed at the sight - at least it was rugged and not wooden. The cold wouldn’t have been good for either of you.

(Either of you?)

He made his way over to the two of you, bending down to move you to the bed. He first pulled your body to his chest with ease before his gaze flicked to the child next to you. His breath stills, hand hesitantly hovering over Zandy, fingers twitching with unease. 

(Since when did he, the Second Harbinger, one that could very well be compared to a God, hesitate? This was foolish. It didn’t mean anything.)

And then Zandik slid his arm around the boy, bringing him into his chest too, and then rose to put you two comfortably to bed. He never thought he would ever tuck his child segment in, but here he was anyway.

It made him feel a little sick, the unfamiliar sensation along his fingertips and heart and mind.

But Dottore can’t resist giving you a kiss, having missed your lips for so long, which makes him feel a bit better. He’ll always have you, his beloved.

He should leave you two to rest properly, but he finds himself drawn to the scene in front of him. The ill feeling still remains somewhere, but a warmth that he wouldn’t name had started spreading too.

As he makes his way to leave the room, he dares not to look at the drawings scattered around, for they are persistent in portraying him as what he is not. In the poor scribbles, he is not a Harbinger, not a scholar or a scientist, nor a monster or the Doctor or Dottore in them.

He is just a man, one who can succumb to the side of him he so constantly rejects.

V. clumsy

You wouldn’t have believed last night happened if you weren’t there. But it did - you couldn’t sleep after you felt his warm embrace, but more importantly, after he held Zandy. You hadn’t even expected him to talk to the child so quickly, much less hold him so tenderly (even if that wasn’t his intention.) When it came to this kind of stuff, it was never easy to change his mind.

Needless to say, you were pleased but you knew he was never going to admit to it. However, you were still proud of him, and you were still determined to accomplish your goal.

Walking to Dottore’s office was something you had missed. When Zandy had asked you if you missed Dottore, the answer wasn’t just that you missed him - you longed for him, you yearned for his touch, you craved his presence. Such deep love was the reason why you wanted to help him.

When you get there, he’s preoccupied at his desk again. No matter how strong he may be, you still worry for his back sometimes. You should make some more snacks for him later too.

“Dottore,” you say as you walk in. The place was as boring-looking as it always is, the only decorations are the little trinkets you’ve gifted him that lay on his desk. His mouth opens to respond but he then immediately pauses, as he processes whose voice he’s hearing. He takes a few moments to study you as you continue to walk up to his desk, now standing in front of him just as you were the last time you were here.

“Hello, [Name].” He doesn’t show how nice it is to hear your voice again after so long, even though he has dealt with it for over four hundred years.

“Hello, Dottore. And how have you been?” Dottore watches you carefully with your line of questioning.

“As I’ve always have.” You hum in response as you glance at the papers on his desk, idly clicking and unclicking one of his numerous pens (that had yet to snap in half.) “I’ve heard your report for Pantalone is late. Is something occupying your mind, perhaps?”

“There is no such thing. The information is simply-”

“You know, I saw you last night, Zandik.” Your words cut him off as you watch his shoulders tense, and then relax. “I saw what you did.”

“I… see.” He probably knew it was futile to deny the claim. “And?” He watched as you walked around to his chair, your eyes glancing to his lap and back to his eyes as if asking for permission. He motioned for you to come closer, and you settled down on his lap, legs hooked over to the side. You were silent for a few moments before you reached for his large hand and held it with yours, rubbing your thumb over his knuckles.

“I won’t ask you to explain anything to me,” you began. “I… I don’t want to sound like I’m pitying you, I know you despise that, Zandik.” He remained silent. “But we,” you stressed on that word, “we can still make things right. It’s not too late to change things, no matter what’s happened before,” you said softly as you cupped Dottore’s cheek, caressing it gently. Your lover remained silent as he continued to look at you, his hand reaching to intertwine with your own.

“I remember every time your perspective clashed with mine,” he replied. You tried to ignore your rapid heartbeat. “And I remember the end result was that you were always right, and I was too stubborn. Yet you always pushed me to see it your way regardless.” Dottore’s hand rested on top of your head, stroking your hair as he considered his next words.

“Maybe this time I shall save myself the time and energy and listen to you instead.” You could have fainted, hearing Dottore admit that to you. Your mouth opened and closed, trying to find something to respond with, but there was nothing else you could do other than smile, ignoring the prick of tears in your eyes, and the way your breathing stuttered.

“... Thank you, Zandik. Thank you,” you whispered, nuzzling your face into his chest.

“However, I must say I may not be up to your-”

“You will,” you quickly interrupted. “You will be. You can do this, with me of course. We’ll take it slow and easy of course, I know this is quite hard and you’re busy and-” you continued to reassure him while squeezing his hand and nodding passionately, while he watched amused.

“I question where your confidence comes from.” You smiled, for that was an easy question.

“Because you are no monster, Zandik. Not to me, at least, the person who knows you better than anyone else. And even if the world views you as one, well… I suppose we would be two monsters together. That’s not too bad, right?” You chuckled, and he couldn’t help but smile a bit too.

“Perhaps you could be right.”

From then on, it was certainly a journey. An exhausting and long one to say the least. But it was also a rewarding one.

Obviously, even though he had given you his word, real life was different from the fantasy you wished for. There were still his overwhelming duties as a Harbinger, there were many days he didn’t even have time for you. And you - there were many days your illness left you far too tired to move around or even speak to anyone. And of course, Il Dottore was not going to change his ways overnight. It was hard dealing with him sometimes. There were still arguments. Clashes. Annoyance. It was never easy to mesh differentiating perspectives into one. 

Still, nothing was enough to deter you or your love for him.

a. the potential attempt

The first step was to get them to be in the same space. Not even closely or with interaction, just to get them comfortable enough with each other. When you proposed the idea to Zandy, the baffled look on his face nearly made you laugh. He initially didn’t want to, which you could understand, but you played it off as wanting to spend time with both of them, considering how Dottore was frequently busy. Getting Zandy to agree wasn’t that hard, considering how much he loved you, but you still felt a bit bad. But this was for a good cause!

You were accustomed to chilling wherever Dottore was without fear. Zandy, on the other hand, was not the same. He spoke quietly and always flickered his eyes to see where and what Dottore was doing.

“Zandy, you don’t need to worry about him. Nothing’s going to happen.” 

“But…” 

“Trust me. I bet he can’t even hear us right now,” you nudged him to look at the older man. “See that look on his face? How hard he’s gripping his pen and how fast he’s writing? That’s how you know he’s so incredibly focused, he tunes out the rest of the world.” Still, the child didn’t look too convinced by your words, so you decided to prove it.

“Dottore, I made you some baklava,” you said rather loudly, yet there was no response. Zandy looked surprised now, you both knew how much Dottore enjoyed Sumerian desserts. “And, I brewed you a new pot of coffee.” His pen continued to scribble across the paper, as you then turned to Zandy.

“See? No need to feel so cautious.” Zandy’s shoulders seemed to relax until you spoke again. “Now you try it.”

“Me?!” Zandy whisper-yelled, looked as if you had asked him to commit a crime.

“Yes, you dear. How else will you get comfortable with him?” The child pouted and nuzzled into your arm, seeing as you weren’t going to give up. He chewed on his lip and he began to speak.

“I… Prime…,” Zandy tried to think of something, anything, “Prime… I ate your sweets!” The child immediately regrets it at record speed, anxiously hiding behind you.

“... My, my, how bold. Even I wouldn’t say that.” Zandy peeked out behind you and saw his creator was still diligently writing, and breathed a sigh of relief. “See, not that bad, right?” The boy nodded, but his mind wandered.

“[Name], I didn’t eat his sweets.” You cocked your head at his statement. “... But I think Beta did.”

“Oh dear. I suppose it’s time to get a lock on that fridge now… and then we need to make some more before-” At that moment, a snapping sound from the side made you two jump.

Ah. Dottore had finally broken his pen. Well, that one lasted longer than usual. You and Zandy watched with held breath as Dottore scowled and cast the broken utensil to the side, before looking at each other and trying to hold in laughter, avoiding the Harbinger’s eye contact and returning to what you two were previously doing. The man looked at your giggling faces with confusion.

“Is something the matter?”

“Not at all, love. Not at all,” you smiled, but by the fact that even his child segment seemed to be giggling, he knew you said something. (He ignores how foreign the laughter of the child sounds to him.)

Regardless, he sends you a look before shaking his head and returning to work (with a new pen.)

b. the awkward attempt

One of the moments that captured your heart was when Zandy walked in on Dottore giving you one of your shots. Needles weren’t unfamiliar to you anymore, and although they scared you (and still did, to be honest), thankfully Dottore and the segments had enough patience to make it as painless as possible. Zandy, however, never really saw the checkups or anything related because you really didn’t want to worry the child about your illness. But you supposed it would happen eventually. 

The atmosphere had suddenly turned a bit awkward with Zandy now standing at the door, eyes on the rather large needle that sat on the tray, that was definitely going into none other than you. From his wide eyes, you could tell it probably wasn’t what he was expecting to see. Of course, needles, especially a big one like Dottore was holding, would scare any child his age.

“O-Oh! Zandy, you can wait outside for a few minutes. You don’t need to watch,” you explained, while Dottore stood silently next to you as he prepped the area of your arm. The child seemed conflicted for a few moments before he decided to walk closer to you and the Harbinger.

“No, it’s okay. I… want to see,” Zandy said. In reality, the boy knew you hid certain things from him and wished to know the truth. He wanted to know how badly you were hurt, maybe he could try and do something for you. (Perhaps this too, is a side effect of teaching him what love is.)

“You do? Well… I guess I won’t stop you then,” you said, a bit confused but you wouldn’t just send him away. Dottore placed a hand on your shoulder and got you to relax again for him. Meanwhile, Zandy had come up to the opposite side and looked at you with slightly worried eyes.

“Is it going to hurt, [Name]?”

“Well, it does prick a bit, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. It’s the same as any other shot,” you tried to reassure him as his gaze became downcast. You bit your lip nervously, about to give him a solution, when out of nowhere Dottore himself spoke.

“Physical and emotional support from another party often makes the procedure less painful for the recipient,” he said in a monotone as if he wasn’t speaking to either of you at all. You and Zandy blinked at him before he continued. “I’m going to start the injection now.” Suddenly, it seemed like Zandy understood the message, as the child then grabbed your hand, and squeezed it with his much tinier one.

“You can do this, [Name]!” His instant enthusiasm distracted you from the prick of the needle, but also the fact that Dottore technically spoke to Zandy, encouraging him even. It was simply adorable.

“Zandy, I-” 

“You know, there was one time I fell while-”

“Oh wow-”

“But I was okay because-”

“I see-” You had decided to continue smiling and nodding at the child’s attempt to distract you from the shot until he abruptly stopped, his eyes flickering to where Dottore had now finished bandaging the area.

“Ah, it’s finished,” you breathed a sigh of relief and deflated on the chair, but Zandy still had a load of energy for you to entertain.

“You didn’t even look a bit scared, [Name]!” You grinned and ruffled his hair.

“Why, I doubt anything in this world could scare me when I have my lovely son and husband with me,” you smiled as you kissed Zandy’s forehead, which he beamed at while Dottore turned away to clean up, an attempt to ignore how the scene made his chest feel.

A family, huh?

What a strange thing.

c. the successful attempt

You were quite proud of the progress Zandy and Dottore had made together, but still, the most important part remained. Now that you had gotten them to be in the same room with each other, you wanted them to at least manage a few short conversations. That was the biggest and most difficult part of this whole thing, but starting small was always the key. And so you decided to somewhat ‘force’ them into such situations. How? By just making the child run errands for you. (Sure, you could have let things run their natural course, but with these two, they definitely needed some kind of push.)

An easy way to make Dottore lighten up was to cook something yummy for him, with bonus points if it was something from his homeland. So that was what you and Zandy did - whipped up a bunch of samosas and even a pita pocket (since you knew he had definitely been skipping meals, much to your dismay.) You had packaged them nicely in a container for him to eat at his leisure and instructed Zandy to deliver them. He seemed less nervous than before but still a bit on edge, nevertheless determined to fulfill your wishes, as he soon found himself in Prime’s office. The man seemed surprised. The child avoided eye contact. The room was silent, without you to act as a middleman.

But Dottore decided to begin.

“Did you need something?” Zandy perked up at the acknowledgment and quickly began walking to his desk, slightly standing up on his tippy-toes to push the container of food in front of his creator.

“[Name] and I made this for you. They said you need to eat more or they’ll get mad again,” the child repeated your words verbatim, trying to gauge Dottore’s reaction. The scholar’s hands glided against the plastic, looking at the tasty treats that lay inside.

“I see. Thank you.” He began to set them to the side before Zandy spoke again.

“Um, they also want you to try one.” Dottore paused. Of course you would say that, he sighed.

“Very well.” He opened the container and picked out a samosa, the snack still warm. He ignored how enticing it was to his stomach and began to lift it to his mouth when he stopped and pushed the box closer to his child segment. Zandy looked at him with curious eyes and he motioned for him to take one. Happily, the boy indulged his request and popped the samosa into his mouth, which Dottore soon followed suit, the two savoring the flavors of your delicious and homey cooking.

“How would you say that was?” He questioned Zandy. The child still had trouble he was being acknowledged so much but responded in kind.

“The most delicious thing ever!”

“I would say the same.” And that was the end of the conversation, as Dottore returned to his work and Zandy scurried away, both content with the conclusion. Dottore’s answers may have been short and swift, but it was progress.

By now Dottore had caught onto your little game, while Zandy was just happy to be helpful to you. There were a lot of other instances where you sent him to Dottore - to fetch some medication, to bring Dottore a letter (that totally didn’t just have three words on it), to bring him some new writing utensils, and much more. The occurrences were all short, but they were beginning to grow a lot less awkward. You were happy.

This time you asked Zandy to fetch a book from Dottore, which was actually a legitimate request this time. He really wanted to learn more about those Ruin Machines, and you figured it would be a lot easier if you had a book as a reference. (Dottore had not yet gotten used to the Zandy’s appearances, still a bit stiff and unsure about the whole thing. But they weren’t unwelcome visits, no, they were starting to become a constant in his life.)

Zandy, on the other hand, had already started to feel much better about interacting with Prime Dottore, thanks to your words and Dottore’s much better actions. The once dreaded path to his office had now become a lot more lighthearted. Sure, he was still a bit tense sometimes, but he thinks most people are that way around Dottore (except you, you’re special), so when he finally makes it to his creator’s office once more he’s not too scared. The older man doesn’t seem to be surprised at his visits anymore.

“And what request do you come to me for today?”

“[Name] and I need a book.” Dottore’s eyes widened. You knew the kind of books he had were… well, inappropriate for some eyes. “A book about Ruin Machines and Guards and Graders and Hunters and their parts and designs and all that cool stuff!”

“I see.” Well, that made more sense. The Harbinger got up from his seat to retrieve a book on that topic, when a sudden and uncharacteristic thought came over him. He did enjoy reading books, as they were a wondrous source of information, but he still far preferred hands-on learning. He wondered if… if perhaps his younger self would prefer that too right now. 

No, he knew Zandy would, he was literally him when he was a kid, but the question was whether Dottore was up to this or not. A while ago, this situation would have been impossible. But now, it was a possibility, an outcome that only Dottore could choose to achieve. He stared at Zandy, who had begun to get a bit nervous at the strange attention.

“If you’re busy-”

“Would you prefer it if I showed you instead, rather than simply viewing pictures?”

“Like the actual machines?” Zandy’s eyes glowed with excitement.

“No, just the parts. But I believe it will be more interesting than only examining them in a book.” He could already hear you in his ear if he decided to let the child near those things, especially without you. Zandy only felt a moment of disappointment before he quickly bounced back.

“Please! I want to see the parts! Can I touch them too? Will you show me what they do?” His barrage of questions was sudden, but the scientist found himself enjoying them. After all, if no one else will indulge his curiosity, then he must do so himself, no matter what age he is.

(Although he’s only a few minutes into the explanation, his younger self’s eyes glimmer with a brightness he’s never seen, or at least never noticed before. Were his eyes always this red? You always compliment the color of his, but he can’t seem to remember his eyes ever having such a radiant gleam. He ignores it, for he’s sure his own eyes were never like that as a child.)

Meanwhile, you were left wondering why the boy had been gone so long. Did something happen? You decided to make your way over to Dottore’s office when you heard the voices spilling out of the ajar door. A young and chirpy one, and an old and tired one, and yet they both seemed equally as excited about whatever the subject matter was.

Peeking in, you were beyond surprised to see your husband and child sitting next to each other, a variety of mechanical parts surrounding the two. Zandy was examining one while Dottore rambled on about it, yet in a logically sound way that even a child could understand. You remember the same thing happening to you back in the Akademiya. 

Your heart beat excitedly at this discovery. The way they seemed comfortable with each other, despite their strained relationship from a while ago… in fact, perhaps you could say it looked like a father and his son. All that was missing was the other parent. But should you ruin the moment? You wanted it to last forever…

Unfortunately, staring for too long had attracted the attention of Zandy, who brightened even more at your presence, and quickly waved you over, which also alerted Dottore. Well, there was no hiding anymore, as you began to walk towards the two you loved the most.

“Well well, lucky you, Zandy. To get a lesson from none other than Dottore in Automatons! But oh, I am a bit hurt. Are my teaching skills not up to par for you two?” You teased them lightheartedly, which Zandy giggled at, and Dottore scoffed.

“Fa- Prime wanted to show me the stuff instead of us going through that huge book together. It’s much more fun this way! Oh, but I should have come and told you though… sorry.” Dottore didn’t say anything, but you didn’t need him to. You went to the opposite side of Zandy and sat down, wrapping your arm around him.

“Perhaps I too could be one of your students, Dottore? Zandy and I are eager to learn more!” Dottore let out a sigh at your antics.

“Then listen carefully, because I will not repeat myself to you.”

“How cruel!”

The laughter of two echoed throughout the room, while the other could only smile.

VI. coldness

You loved your family very much. That was obvious to anyone who saw you with them.

Pantalone who asked about how your son was faring, and if your husband would be able to produce sufficient results soon. Columbina who liked to play dress up with you and Zandy to wear matching outfits, while Dottore obviously refused to entertain her nonsense. Childe who couldn’t help but be fond of Zandy as well, tempted to introduce him to Teucer, but also greatly questioned your choice of husband (and father.) The Fatui agents who watched you squish the young segment’s cheeks and tease your imposing Harbinger husband in broad daylight. It was certainly something to see, and one wouldn’t believe it until they saw it with their own eyes.

Meanwhile, the segments had been onlookers on the whole thing.

You were sure each individual segment felt a bit differently about the situation, but the general feeling was probably jealousy. Jealousy toward Zandy for being able to take up so much of your attention. Well, that had always been the case since you’d met the child, but it increased a lot since your journey to help Dottore reconcile with his past self. You just hoped as the years went by, their attitude would change. If you had gotten Prime to change, then his segments weren’t impossible, right? You did see a few of them start to be a bit more patient with Zandy!

Regardless, you were more than happy with the outcome. Dottore and Zandy were talking to each other like normal human beings now. Sure, there were still moments where they were awkward and silent, which was to be expected considering how many years went by with their relationship nonexistent. 

Physical affection, however… well, it still had some work left. The only person he wanted to touch him was you since he had known you for so long. Even then, sometimes you couldn’t when he wasn’t in a good mood. So coming to terms with Zandy touching him so casually was still something to get used to. Still, he seemed to have gotten used to the hand brushing and even patted the child’s hair when he did well. On good days, perhaps the child would even be in his lap.

Still, now that you had helped create a bond between them, nothing could stop their progress. Nothing at all.

Dottore still never admitted the change in his feelings to you, but you didn’t need a concrete answer when his actions spoke louder. You lived for the new conversations that now occurred as a result of Zandy, like when he tells you about the time they spent together.

“I’ve heard that you’ve started teaching Zandy more now, Dottore.” (Trying to steal your role as a teacher again, huh?)

“Indeed. We have moved on to quantum physics as well as-” He continued to list off topics you definitely did not study as a child.

“How… enriching, I’m sure.” Perhaps you should start crashing the lessons to make sure he doesn’t overload the poor kid’s brain too much…

Or when you hear about how much they both care for you.

“[Name]?”

“Yes, Dottore?”

“How have you been feeling as of late?” His hands crept up around your neck, brushing his fingers along your collarbones.

“Fine. The same as always,” you responded, which was sort of a truth and lie. You were technically fine, but there had been more days lately that had been a slog to get through with your illness and all. You didn’t want to admit that though. Dottore dragged his fingers along your shoulders in response.

“That’s a lie.” Your face heated up a bit from the proximity.

“That’s not-”

“Zandy,” he began, the name still a bit foreign on his tongue, “told me you’ve barely been sleeping as late. And the tiredness makes it difficult for you to move around. Why didn’t you tell me?” You slumped a bit in your seat at the discovery. You didn’t think the child would know that much less tell Dottore.

“How did he know?”

“He can hear you rustling around in the bed all night,” your husband said flatly as you sighed.

“I’m sorry, love…”

“Next time, I would prefer to hear my spouse’s troubles from their lips rather than someone else. Now come here.”

Or the simpler silly conversations.

“Why did you name him that?” He said one day while lounging on your lap. It was one of those days when it was necessary for him to rant to you about everything and anything.

“Name who what?”

“... Zandy.” Hearing Dottore get used to the name was still amusing to you.

“Why not? There’s a reason why all the segments like their names now, you know. It’s cute, it fits him, he likes it, and it’s way better than what you did,” you teased. Dottore grumbled.

“I still believe there were better options.”

“Yes, yes, says the one who names every experiment with a few letters and numbers. Now continue telling me about Pantalone’s audacity.” 

You were happy. Zandy was happy. And you were pretty sure Dottore was happy too. Even through the toughest days, you knew that you had them, and that made things better. You believed nothing in the world would change that or take that away from you.

So when you heard that some of the segments were heading to Sumeru, you weren’t too worried. It was just another mission for them, and although the importance of this one was much higher, you had no doubt the segments would handle it with ease. The lab was emptier than normal, but at least that gave you more time to play with him. 

“[Name], why do we go and collect Gnoses?” Zandy was still unaware of quite a few things, as others were unwilling to explain the details of them.

“So that we can fight Celestia,” you hummed as you turned the page of the book. Currently, you two were reading a rather interesting fantasy story, and the two of you had gotten up to the most crucial part - whether the protagonist would choose to further his ambitions or save the one he cherished.

“Why do we need to fight them?”

“Because they’re bad people,” you said as simply as possible.

“When are we going to fight them?”

“I don’t know, but one day we will.”

“Is it going to be scary?”

“Yes, it will. But I will protect you, from now until the end of time, so there’s no need to worry.”

“Okay,” Zandy said, but he still looked a bit sad, naturally. You softly stroked his fluffy hair.

“Don’t dwell on it. You still have lots and lots of happy memories to make,” you soothed him and kissed his forehead. “Nothing bad will happen to you.”

“Thanks, [Name],” he cuddled more into your side as you continued to read the story aloud to him.

The days passed as they always did. Tests. Checkups. The bickering of segments. Dottore popped up here and there, still busy with the Sumeru mission even though he remained at the lab. As always, Zandy remained a constant in your life when everyone else was too busy for you, so you were happy.

It had happened in the middle of a nap when you were shaken awake furiously. When you regained consciousness, you first registered your body being tossed from side to side, and then the blinding light from above. Ugh. What time was it, you wondered, because your mind next processed the desperate voice next to you.

“[Name]! [Name], please, please wake up. Please, he’s going to-” The sheer fright in his voice was enough to jolt you back to reality. You quickly rubbed your eyes and pulled yourself up to face the boy. You wondered what could have happened for Zandy to be this frantic, but the look on his face made your throat close up.

Bright red eyes on the verge of tears, flushed face, quivering lip, and shaking body. A terrible feeling rested in the pit of your stomach as you were speechless for a moment before Zandy grabbed your hands again, begging you to say something.

“Zandy, s-slow down. Start from the beginning. What’s wrong? Who is going to do what?” You placed your hands on his shoulders, pulling him closer in an attempt to calm him. It didn’t seem to do much.

“Omega, Omega’s going to delete me for-”

“What?!” Your voice came out as a shriek. “Tell him no! Tell him I said to stop! I- come with me!” You had already begun to pull him out of bed and out the door, looking like a mess but that wasn’t a worry at all, not right now. Zandy followed you aimlessly, sniffling and sputtering out words.

“B-But not just me, all the other segments are going to be e-erased too! Alpha, Beta, Delta-” You paused, deep fear instilling in your heart as you too began to breathe heavily. Still, you swooped down to Zandy’s height and hugged him, putting on a brave face.

“I won’t let it happen - you’ll be fine. We’ll just go to Prime, and then he’ll-”

“He approved it, though,” Zandy’s voice was tiny as he stared down at his feet as if he too was unwilling to believe he would be betrayed like this. You felt like you were going to be sick, heat rushing to your face, burning you alive.

“What?” Your voice was just as small as the child’s.

“Well, he’s not happy about it, but-” You gritted your teeth.

“I won’t accept it. You will not suffer such a fate, I pro-” You stopped when you heard footsteps approaching.

It was the person you wanted to see the least and most at the same time.

“Dottore,” your voice initially came out exhausted as you forced your shaky legs to stand up again, “Dottore, you best explain yourself right now,” you hissed, the malice now undeniable. “Tell me that this isn’t true.” Dottore opened his mouth to speak, but he seemed to realize that it would not be the answer you desired. The Harbinger’s eyes landed on his child self, who now clung to your leg in fear. Zandy looked at him in a way he hadn’t seen in a long time. Dottore ignored all emotions and focused on his logic.

“It’s neces-”

“Don’t you dare say that!” You interrupted him, hopefully before the child could hear his own creator (or perhaps, father) say he was dispensable. “That’s not true, you know it’s not-” Your words were interrupted by Zandy clutching his head and squeezing your leg deathly tight, the thoughts of the other segments reaching an all-time loud high.

��It’s happening… O-Omega’s going to do it,” the child had broken into full tears as he listened to the others vehemently deny Omega’s decision. He then frantically clawed at your leg, reaching for your hand for some sort of comfort.

“[Name], I don’t want to go! I don’t want to leave you! I don’t want to…” The one in the beginning of his life, the picture of innocence, dared to take one last look at the one in the prime of his life, who he couldn’t recognize anymore. The last word died on his lips. Your heart wrenched and pounded painfully as you looked away to beg Dottore again.

“Dot- Zandik, do something. Please, please stop Omega. I won’t ask for anything else ever again. Y-You can’t take him away from me…! Please!”

And then you felt your hand become empty, and your leg become cold. Bile began to bubble in your throat. You felt like you were going to throw up, wondering if you should dare look back down. 

You did anyway.

There was just empty space, Zandy nowhere to be found. Not even his clothes, not a single thing left of him. He had disap- no, he was dead.

Zandy was dead.

Your child was dead.

Your mind was very loud, despite not thinking about anything at all. Your hand twitched, trying to grasp the warmth that was there just a few moments ago. You tried to pretend there was the sensation of him holding you again.

Unfortunately, imagination can’t replicate reality.

You don’t even realize how close Dottore had gotten to you, eyes still frozen on the spot where Zandy just was.

“[Name].” His voice brings you back, but not for a good reason. You blink as you mechanically turn your head to face him. You don’t understand why he isn’t bothered. You don’t understand why he did this. You don’t understand anything. And then your face, which was as still as a statue, suddenly became enveloped in grief and tears. Your husband slightly grimaced at your expression.

“[Name],” he tried again, “I-”

“Don’t you dare speak to me like that, in that tone of voice,” you snapped amidst your continuous tears. “Do you have any idea what you’ve just done to them? To me? To us?” You weren’t sure which you would prefer - that he wasn’t sure about how much this would pain you, or that he did know but went ahead with it anyway. And it wasn’t just you, now that Zandy was gone… he would never be able to make peace with what he was.

“My last words to Zandy were a lie,” you cried. “A lie! I didn’t even tell him that I cared for him, how much I cherished him, how I loved the time I spent with him, how much I loved him!”

“Did any of the time we three spent together mean anything? Did he mean anything to you, Zandik? Or was it just a lie?” You relentlessly spat at him, refusing to let him get in a word. “You just used him and the other segments as bargaining chips. Pawns. They weren’t tools… my child wasn’t expendable, he was a person too,” you sank to the floor, your whole body trembling and immensely fatigued, but your mouth kept moving, wrapped in your incoherent grief. “I thought we could-, no, we were a family… Was I the only one who cared?”

Dottore could only watch as you broke apart in front of him. What could he have said to extinguish your tears? That he didn’t quite want to do this either, but he had to? Regardless of the newly acquired feelings about his segment, nothing… nothing could come in the way of what he had to do.

“Would you do the same to me, Zandik? Would you trade me for a Gnosis, too…?” Dottore stiffened at the question. It was never something he’d thought you’d say, considering how foolish it was. Him? Give you up? No, he would never. Never. He would sooner let all of Teyvat burn but-

“He was just a kid,” you sobbed. “He was just a little boy. How could you? You… you…!” Dottore could feel your sheer rage and sadness easily, his hands wanting to reach out and offer you some sort of comfort.

But he was a monster, and he knew it.

[icypopz]

when he gets jealous ♡

↬ request from anon ; Can I request for zayne? Please make a fic of him and mc where he is jealous and they making up after

↬ notes ; zayne x gn!reader

↬ from ice ; ohhh hell yeah we love jealous men in this house 🔥🔥🔥 also i wish the three LIs could meet in-game but since it won't happen i'll settle for making it happen in fanfic 😋 also did u guys see sylus because what the actual fuck HE'S SO FINE!!!

↬ warning(s) ; suggestive at the end

please reblog ! it helps a lot :)

zayne is a very secure man. he's the youngest recipient of the starcatcher award, one of the most talented surgeons to ever grace the halls of akso hospital, and he considers himself a rather good boyfriend - all this means he has absolutely no reason to get jealous. at least that's what he tells himself when he sees you happily talking to another man outside your apartment. the tall blonde smiles softly at you as you chatter away, and it's only when zayne clears his throat that you notice him.

"oh, this is my boyfriend, zayne! zayne, meet xavier - he lives in the apartment next to mine." you smile as you intertwine your fingers with zayne, blissfully unaware of how the temperature in the room just dropped to subzero. "hello." zayne's reply is curt as he scans xavier, taking in his messy hair and casual outfit, a stark contrast to zayne's sharply pressed suit and vest. xavier just nods at him before waving to you, "i think i'll go have a nap now... have fun on your date." with that, xavier leaves you and zayne alone in the corridor, where you grin at him, "let's go plushie hunting!"

after way too many hours at the arcade and practically a mountain of plushies to show for it, you're both back in zayne's car for him to drive you home. just then, your phone pings with a notification, and you can't help but giggle as you read the message, "zayne, look at this. xavier loves feeding the birds at his apartment." zayne looks at the image, which is an admittedly funny picture of a bird falling into a water dish, but then he registers the second half of your statement, "xavier? oh." his grip on the steering wheel tightens, his knuckles whitening as he internally rolls his eyes.

this time, you notice how the atmosphere becomes slightly awkward. "zayne? is something wrong?" when he doesn't reply, you tilt your head to look at him, noticing the small furrow between his brows and the barest hint of a pout on his lips. as you're wracking your brain for what could have upset him, it clicks. "zayne~" your voice has that familiar teasing lilt to it, and zayne is already planning his rebuttal when you ask, "are you jealous~?" that catches him by surprise - so that's the feeling weighing heavy on his chest. he clears his throat, eyes fixed firmly on the road ahead, "perhaps."

now it's your turn to be surprised - you weren't expecting him to admit it so candidly. you laugh delightedly as he pulls into your apartment parking lot, "that's so cute!" "you have a peculiar definition of cute, then." zayne scoffs, turning the engine off and still refusing to look at you. you click your tongue affectionately before leaning over to pull his cheek, "you're so annoying! but i guess even the great dr zayne gets jealous then, hm?" his ears are red, and he just settles for a simple, "i suppose so." "you don't need to worry about xavier," you press a kiss to his cheek, "you're the only one for me." then, a wicked smirk curves your lips as you whisper, "and if you come upstairs with me, i'll show you i mean it."

it's safe to say zayne is no longer jealous of xavier - he just hopes your neighbour isn't going to file any noise complaints any time soon.

✧ thank you for reading ! if you have a request, feel free to send it in 🌠

© icypopz 2024. do not repost or modify in any way.