#thank you again for the thoughtful ask <333< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[wachtelspinat]

always wanted to post some australia photos so here they are before the year is coming to an end.

in order:

Mundi Mundi Lookout - Silverton, NSW

Hannans North Tourist Mine - Kalgoorlie-Boulder, WA

Tom's Opal Mine - Coober Pedy, SA

Karlkurla Bushland Park - Kalgoorlie-Boulder, WA

Kanku Breakaways - near Coober Pedy, SA

Rawnsley Bluff - Ikara-Flinders Ranges, SA

Echo Point - Blue Mountains, Katoomba, NSW

Head of Bight - Nullarbor Plain, Yalata, SA

Grand Canyon - Blue Mountains, Blackheath, NSW

also a little life update to anyone who's interested:

2024 has been a wild ride all around, and i feel a bit bad when i say that for me personally it had been a blast (except for today and this weekend: first my toilet flusher started being defect (ah yes, getting a mechanic the week before the holidays in germany, why would there be a problem), then a chunk of my phone screen stopped being touch sensitive, then half of my laptop's keyboard stopped working... and when i dared to ask what will break next... i landed a tremendous fall on my way to work today, with my bike and sudden glazed ice on the road, breaking my drawing elbow 👍).

BUT OTHER THAN THAT 2024 has been great in my books.

got laid off at work in march, which gave me the opportunity to do a roadtrip through australia, sth i would have never dreamed of doing on my own, of becoming true. this trip was life-changing y'all. it has altered my brain chemistry.

then i got back at work on part-time basis and holy shit, that was great. sadly i'm involved full-time again but this also made sth click in my head. and it gave me sth back that i've thought having lost last year: my will to draw. this sounds so overdramatic but some may remember my crisis in 2023 because i couldn't shake the thought of my drawing days being over due to work and life being so overwhelming? thank you so much again to each and everyone who left messages back then, it still means a lot, they really helped me to stay grounded during that time. but i'm also here to tell past-me "bitch! you thought you would never find fun and purpose in drawing again? think again!"

this also gave me the courage to apply for tabling again, something that i've long pushed away to the back of my mind bc i never felt confident enough. and what can i say, a friend of mine and me are gonna have a booth next year at leipzig bookfair <3

honourable mentions before it's getting too long: friends got the cutest new dog baby, iceland roadtrip with seeing polar lights for the first time, heidelberg zine fair with lots of crunch time beforehand but this also unlocked sth new in my brain, making zines is so much fun, lots of time again with friends and then... the last issue of the tf2 comic *bless.

thank you to everyone here who i met along the way, who interacts with my art and leaves incredible comments and tags, i love this site so much and its community, you all are wonderful people and i'm really happy that we all share this platform.

i'm wishing everyone who celebrates some nice holidays <333

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

https://www.tumblr.com/twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat/757245046340943872/hi-ari-i-just-watched-oshi-no-ko-its-so?source=share

hi ari! <3 yes, it's me!

firstly, thank you so much for taking the time to write such an in-depth recommendation list! it was super helpful!

WARNING: long message ahead!

i have actually watched a couple of the things that you had recommended, namely windbreaker and romantic killer. i really enjoyed windbreaker, even if i still don't quite understand how their school system works... (i think it's low-key hilarious how there are barely any adults in this series? and how students run the school for other students? like do they have 'normal' lessons? i'm so curious!)

thinking on windbreaker now, the things that stood out to me the most were those:

hajime looking like an alternate universe version of satoru, who is a cutie pie that grows vegetables. i actually really like his character – i think he's adorable. in terms of character design, i do think his cape is kind of cool. he rocks it. i like that he's positive, down-to-earth and simultaneously extremely astute. he's very likeable, like satoru! (very boyfriend material, no?)

the dynamic between choji and togame is very memorable. thinking on it now, the scene where togame cries and choji asks whether it is the rain... there is just something in their dynamic, when they were 'fighting,' which made it feel, when i was watching, like they were confessing. (i kind of... i couldn't help but think, guys, come on, you're in front of an auditorium... you really want to do this here and now?? in front of this audience?? really??) and also... choji being his 'sun'... it's kind of sweet.

suo! i find his fighting technique to be absolutely fascinating! i think it's so interesting how he doesn't put in an effort to fight against his opponents, instead dismantling them psychologically. he doesn't fight according to a certain school of thought, too; instead, he just picks and chooses what he deems is fitting, willing to experiment and almost confuse his opponents through the piecemeal nature of his fighting technique. there is a little element of cruelty to his fighting style which i find absolutely fascinating... and even though i know that suguru and suo are very different, i wonder what it would be like to transpose suo's fighting style onto suguru.

i have watched romantic killer ages ago!! i didn't know what to watch and it came up, and even though the premise was a little bizarre and the design of the cupid entity was absolutely hilarious, i actually really enjoyed watching it! anzu is a really fun protagonist! and i could absolutely relate to her cat obsession because this is absolutely what i am like with my dogs. her concern for not dating is also one i can relate to... currently, i can't really envision myself dating. i barely have any time for myself when i am at university, and when i do, i'd rather spend it with my friends or go home and visit my parents and my dogs. and besides, romantic relationships take so much work!! and i'm super picky in terms of how i like. (suguru.) anyway, that aside, i thought it was fun, and tsukasa and junta were both likeable! hijiri was... a little cliché and forgettable in my opinion, and didn't add that much to the story, but it also felt like the story ended not being quite finished, so his introduction felt a little... underdeveloped??

and the introduction of tsukasa's stalker was... absolutely terrifying. i can still picture that woman in my mind – her absolutely manic eyes when she looked at tsukasa. so scary!

(i did think it was pretty cute how riri transformed into a competitor for anzu's affections at the end of the series!)

i have tried giving gekkan shoujo nozaki-kun a go, but i somehow winded up feeling a little... bored as i was watching it? i thought the idea of the anime was cool. i can see where they were going with this – it attempted to be subversive by having a a big, bulky guy was writing a 'girly' popular manga series, with the inspiration for the male lead being a girl and the inspiration for the female lead being a guy. from my experience of writing (which was ages ago... my pen had long dried up), that kind of makes sense – the act of transposing personalities of the people you see into characters, and those characters themselves being extremely malleable as the plot develops.

...but somehow, as i watched it, something didn't quite click for me. i'm not sure why. so i ended up dropping it after five or so episodes? i did think the red-haired guy who was constantly blushing was cute, though.

NOW, onto oshi no ko... I LOVED IT! i still have the intro song from season one playing in my head!!

look, first of all, i thought it was super fun. i adore the animation style. i am a little annoying in that, for me, the animation style of an anime plays a big part in how driven i am to watch it. it's partially why i like jujutsu kaisen so much. i adore the way in which the characters are drawn in 'jujutsu kaisen'. the drawing style is absolutely awesome. i LOVE how handsome suguru and satoru are!! (it's not the only reason why i like the drawing style, of course, but i just... appreciate the way in which the characters are drawn.) i just like looking at it. i can press pause and just stare, and analyse the drawing style for a long while.

but back to oshi no ko, when i read the synopsis... i must admit, i was... a little more than surprised. a gynaecologist's soul transposing itself into the body of an idol's child??? how crazy is that???

but then i googled the pictures and saw pictures of ai... and reread your post, and decided to give it a go! and i am very glad that i did!!

i love ai's character design!! her hair is awesome!! i love her star eyes!! and when she smiles, she's absolutely adorable!!

but now onto the series itself... i didn't realise that the first episode was a set-up for the broader story centred on the two children!! i thought that was super interesting – beginning with ai, setting her up, having her be a ghost that haunts the narrative.

the doctor being an otaku... you know what, i do understand why he'd be hooked on something like this – something bright and cheerful, and something that's so escapist, even if, as an 'educated adult,' he realises is a fabrication made for consumption. (i guess, for me, what 'ai' was to the doctor and sarina is what... 'jujutsu kaisen' is currently to me. it's something escapist, a story i can think about again and again, even months after watching, maintaining my interest in it by visiting tumblr...)

the reason for her having the two children is absolutely heartbreaking. but... with the way they set up the story, it... does make sense.

i... even though the premise seems bizarre, it's actually quite profound? yes, it teaches/proselytises some things i already know, but also lots of things that i don't know. i found it fascinating how it tackled the world of entertainment...

the scene where ai died still replays in my mind. the slight greying (?? i'm not sure if i'm misremembering, but i think it was a grisailles image) image of ai as she dies in front of aqua's eyes while ruby bangs on the door was absolutely horrifying. i gasped. i should have predicted that this story was going to take misery's annie wilkes angle... but still, when i saw it on screen... it was just such a crushing death... and for the reports to then be overtaken by reports of the snow... i don't know... if that is relieving or overwhelmingly sad.

i have to say, though, that scene where aqua and ruby pretend to be gods is absolutely hilarious!! i thought it was super funny. and that woman was so terrified! so funny. and ruby saying that she's the incarnation of amaterasu?? and swatting her hand away so confidently!! how funny!!

also, the scene where aqua plays the creepy kid by not acting and terrifying all the actors on set... that was pretty funny, too!! i enjoyed that!! and that whole... segment of him guessing the director's intentions through logic to produce this result and the talk of different types of actors was very, very interesting!!

and ai getting cut because she shined too much?? that was fascinating.

in terms of the series post episode one, i enjoyed how they tackled both the world of film, reality dating shows, the manga industry and the theatre industry! that was cool!!! and i love how they made them interconnected.

in terms of which characters i liked the most... i think i'm going to say, the girls!!! i really like kana, akane, ruby, mem-cho, ai of course, even frill and minami!! (i think frill is... actually quite funny!! and when she was joking about pinning down mem-cho if she were a guy...)

i feel like because i watched everything in one go, everything became slightly muddled in my head, so it's hard to pick out which scenes stood out to me the most!! i did like how the story unravelled – i thought it was pretty neat and slick, and as i was watching, i didn't really notice any loose plot lines or anything... (yes, maybe everyone coming to the rescue of akane was a little too feel-good perhaps, but i did like that... it was cute.)

mem-cho, kana and ruby actually formed a pretty cute trio!! i thought it was funny how the guy with the stubble was like, no one can replace b komachi and then became a super fan who went to their solo concerts... and yes, all three of them are absolute stars!! they are so cute!!! and aqua showing up and going crazy with all three light sticks?? that was pretty sweet.

(on that note... i don't know who i prefer – akane and aqua, or kana and aqua... i might say kana and aqua because aqua can just be... himself?? and when he thought of his happy memories... he mostly thought of kana... but when akane came to comfort him, and figured out his backstory (well, almost... sans the doctor bit), it was pretty sweet.)

i think akane is also such a fascinating actor!! seeing that scene where she basically figured ai out and transformed herself into her to such a creepy degree that aqua found himself confused... that was SO EERIE BUT COOL!!!! and how she filled in the backstory of... ai having a secret child, being exposed to sexual relations early, almost childlike tendencies that are tad too juvenile, etc. etc. – extremely fascinating.

i also think ruby is adorable!!! i think it's interesting how differently aqua and ruby respond to trauma. (suguru and satoru, anyone? okay, i'll stop... not as applicable here.) her drive and passion is extremely admirable. and with sarina's story... and baby ruby struggling to stand up only for ai to help her... my god, how heartbreaking...

i... i have a soft spot for kana because i can see some of myself reflected in her. i also think the idea of achieving a high point in your life and then moving on from that is... pretty interesting. like what do you do if you can never achieve that height again?? you were the big fish before but now you wound up in a pond where... no one cares about that anymore?? i think it's pretty admirable how she had the strength to try out something new and become an idol even though it's so easy to regress into the shadows, not wanting to embarrass yourself yet again. and kana being scared of the stage because she is not alone?? that makes so much sense but that also makes her such a kind-hearted girl...

i also enjoyed the storyline with the manga author and tokyo blade!! firstly, for a manga within a manga/anime... that's... a pretty cool story!! i wouldn't mind watching tokyo blade myself!! but... also i thought it was interesting how they showed the behind the scenes of that world... with the manga creator of tokyo blade, firstly, being so goddamn young!! twenty-two?? (and what am i doing with my life?? lying on the couch outside in the sun while my dog rests by my feet procrastinating on my work because i am perpetually indecisive??)

i thought it was interesting how they balanced her arrogance and her diligence... she is not necessarily likeable and... that's okay. i kind of like that they made her into a little bit of a... freak. (look, if i was at that restaurant, going to the bathroom, and coming out of my cubicle to witness this... being use two toothbrushes to brush their teeth while spitting into the sink, i'd be super grossed out.) i liked the dynamic between her and her sensei, though, and how she was adorably shy back then and had so much respect for her sensei... that was cute. and her desire to branch out and speak to many people being reflected in her manga... that was... pretty sad, i must admit. (but then again, that was... a little bit of projection going on from her sensei, no? i mean, i wouldn't say all my writing is necessarily reflective of me, no? it was a little... presumptive, and based on her assumptions since she... thinks her former pupil is a little... weird.)

the issue of translating manga into scripts is... fascinating. i thought it was interesting when goa spoke of how if it goes badly, the scriptwriter is blamed, but if it goes well, then the manga author is praised... that is true!!! it does go like that!!

the manga creator being a little bit of a creative tyrant from her astronomical success and the past trauma of seeing her favourite manga by her favourite sensei get butchered by bad acting... that all makes sense!! it's a compelling insider take on what it means to adapt works and i really enjoyed seeing it play out on screen and thinking about it! (and besides, so many things nowadays get adapted from medium to medium, it's a pretty nuanced take on a very contemporary issue!)

in terms of kana vs akane rivalry, i think it's pretty fun seeing them... go all out with their acting, you know? i also kind of liked the friendship between the super talented guy taiki and kana! when they were acting out that fighting scene... it was super fun!! really enjoyed it!!! (plus.. the point about adding stimulation to the theatre troupe in the form of external actors – that's pretty interesting!!)

(i also thought it was interesting how aqua extricated himself from the talent competition.)

on aqua, though...

the fact that he felt like his identity as aqua and as the doctor was merging was pretty interesting. i'm still not sure whether he's a super likeable character in my mind. he's compelling, sure. he's supportive of his sister and kana...

i just wonder if seeing ai murdered in front of his eyes was the key reason as to why his trauma response was so different from that of sarina, aside from the obvious personality differences.

i kind of wonder who ai is to him. does he really see her as his mother? i just wonder what it would be like for a highly educated guy to be transported into the body of an infant and being unable to do anything but watch as a girl much younger than you acts as your mother. THAT IS INSANE. (also, how'd he... learn how to speak?? did he retain those memories and the sounds came out instantly... or was the speaking apparatus of his child body so infantile that he had to go about it via... trial and error.)

but when he stopped ruby from pursuing her dreams by arranging that call/sending message from her phone... (i mean, he did 'let' her become an idol in the end, but still...)

(but then again, it's kind of similar to adults (more of an extreme manifestation, i guess) who softly discourage people from pursuing such careers unless their talents seem to be... almost supernatural. like i was discouraged from acting, which, upon reflection, makes sense as there were two girls in my class for whom the star of acting talent shone much brighter.)

my takeaway thought from this series was this – by leaning into absurdity and taking on a premise which seems absolutely bizarre at first glance, it was able to produce a highly nuanced and intelligent account of what it means to work in the entertainment business, and what it means to interact with this business (as most of us do) at large.

i feel like if i were to learn something from this series, it would be this – perhaps, when creating, the rational side of your brain which would discourage you from exploring a scenario in which the body of a doctor is transposed into a baby needs to be subdued as that supernatural element ended up being an appropriate vehicle in creating a broader, fascinating account that functions as a window into the world of japanese (and not just... japanese) entertainment.

i must admit – i enjoyed it so much, i got a little sad when i realised that season two was still in progress!! i wanted to binge it all!!! :))) (but, on the other hand, it allows me to think about this story for a little longer...)

thank you for recommending it!! (and apologies for my very, very, very long ramble.)

(side note – i tried checking out the fate series, but i got a little confused in terms of the watch order?? there are so many!!! and different websites say different things in terms of how you should go about watching it...)

if you have any other recommendations as to what to watch, i'd more than welcome them!! <33

hi my dearest little anon!! 🥹 tysm for the ask hehe, this was sm fun to read through!!!

first of all!!! you are soooo so welcome, it was really my pleasure!!!!! 🥺🥺 i’m so excited to properly respond to all your thoughts hehe

YOU’RE SO REAL FOR QUESTIONING WIND BREAKER’S SCHOOL SYSTEM 😭😭😭 their education is in SHAMBLES. BUT YESSS ume is such a lovely character (ABSOLUTELY bf material), and togame + choji were for sure my favorites!!!! their dynamic and story was the highlight of the season for me :33 HE’S HIS SUN…. it really did feel like a confession lol. AND SUOOO I LOVE HIM AS WELL. it’s crazy you mention that anon because i also thought of sugu when i saw him…. he’s so polite but his fighting style is so . raw? in a way? the hint of cruelty/psychological humiliation is also sooo tasty to me. i love smiley boys who are a tiny bit mean <3

and romantic killer!!!!! aaaaa it was the same for me anon, i watched it on a whim but got so addicted 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 ANZU IS SOOOO LOVELY AND SO RELATABLE. and i get you anon!!!! dating isn’t everything!!!!! i love the emphasis the show put on platonic relationships — even though i know it’s not canon, i do see anzu as aroace!! and either way it’s just refreshing to have a shoujo that shows how strong and meaningful relationships can be, whether they’re romantic or not. tsukasa’s and anzu’s relationship ended up as one of my favorites because they’re just…. so wholesome. and sweet. they care for each other sm!!!!! hijiri was my least fav of the guys too but i did think he was cute :3 TSUKASA’S STALKER WAS SOOO SCARY i’m so glad that plotline was treated with the care it deserves!!!

AHHHHH so gekkan shoujo was a fail……. THAT’S OKAY ANONNN ik it’s not everyone’s cup of tea!!! :’3 it was a while since i watched it too….. did you watch the sub or dub?? the dub is funnier imo!!!! but. again… it’s been a while…… MIKORIN IS SOOOO CUTE THOUGH I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED HIM 🥺🥺 my baby!! my special little guy!!!!!

NOWWWWWWW <3333 OSHI NO KO TIME. I’M SOOOOOO HAPPY YOU LIKED THIS ONE ANON I WAS SO HOPING YOU WOULD 🥹🥹🥹 it’s the perfect mix of dark + gorgeous + entertaining, right???? it has it all!!!!! THE OPS AND EDS ARE SOOOOO GORGEOUS i loved s1’s songs but i’ve also gotten super attached to s2’s……

BUT YES I TOTALLYYY GET YOU. i think jjk has spoiled me a little because i find it just a teeny bit difficult to get into anime that are lacking in that area :’3 WHICH IS PERFECT BECAUSE OSHI NO KO IS SOOOO GORGEOUS. so so pretty. ESPECIALLY AI OHHH MY GOD ANON ISN’T SHE ADORABLE?? 🥺🥺🥺 our beloved idol-sama………. the star eyes are soooo beautifully animated, seeing the light leave them when she dies was . so genuinely horrifying lmao. AND YES YES YOU GET ITTTTT ai haunting the narrative!!!!!! i loved how they handled episode 1 so much….. her final ”i love you” made me. cry 😭 it still makes me cry when i watch it.

and i totally get you on the escapism!!!! jjk is just like that for me too!!!!! and yeah, i have . many theories on gorou (the doctor) and his attachment to ai!!!! how it’s connected to his own life but also his fixation on sarina…… i can’t wait to read the manga :3c

AHHH YOU’RE SO REAL FOR LOVING THE GIRLS 🥺🥺🥺 they’re all soso lovely!!!!! designs, personalities, and all!!!!!!! i hope ruby gets more spotlight in s3 because it does feel a little like s2 is aqua’s…… and i love aqua but i’m also sooo invested in ruby and her idol journey :’3 HER GROUP IS SO CUTEE. AND AS FOR THE SHIPS…… i’ll be so honest anon i think both akane and kana are too good for him LMAO. or more like i just don’t see him treating them as well as they deserve with his whole…. revenge plot going on. lmao. but overall i prefer kana as a character!!! i like kana a lot, and i think she’s so interesting and eerie like you mentioned, but kana feels so . real and grounded to me. i have a big soft spot for her too!!! AND RUBYYYY MY ANGEL. she’s so cute and so so strong, moving on with her life even after ai’s death….

THE TOKYO BLADE ARC IS SOOOOO GOOD. i totally agree!!!! i love the way all characters have been handled, they all just care about the story being told :’3 both abiko and goa!!!! the recent episode where they interact and praise each other was so precious…..

BUT YES . AQUA . oh my goddddd he makes me so insane anon…….. i have so many thoughts of him and his identity because i do think it’s so fractured. i think aqua views ai as his mother, but not gorou. their dynamic is so interesting because ai is like….. his mother, his child, and his love interest all in one, as twisted as it sounds. i do think his love for her is platonic but he himself is unsure about it and i think that adds a lot of depth to it all!!! ai is like the center of his universe….. but yeah, i don’t see him as super likeable, which is . Why i like him LMAO…. i like them a little sick in the head <333 he’s definitely a very flawed character. his attempts to control ruby show that much, even if he’s doing it because he cares…

but!!! yes!!!!! i definitely agree with you on that last point, it’s a really wacky premise that ended up as a super thoughtful exploration of the entertainment industry :3 this is just my own take, and like i said — i haven’t read the manga — but!!! i do feel like the main theme is the exploitation of children. and i wonder how that’s going to come back later in the story. i feel like that’s what everything is sort of building up to, with ai’s abuse and pregnancy, sarina’s death, aqua’s trauma… and so on.

thank you sm for checking the series out anon!!! i’m so happy you enjoyed it so much!!!! i’m always, always here in case you wanna chat abt it <333

AS FOR THE FATE SERIES. i should’ve warned you, it’s a very ……. long series with a lot of different games and manga and anime, but the right place to start is always fate/stay night 🫡🫡 the different fates aren’t connected to each other (fate/zero and fate/stay night are connected though…), so don’t worry about watching them all!! fate/stay night: unlimited bladeworks is more than enough. and if you enjoy that, you can move on to the heaven’s feel trilogy, which is…. a different, darker route the protagonist takes. stay night in general is super good!!!! i hope you enjoy it if you give it a try :3 the fate series in general probably has my favorite writing…. ever? but it might not be for everyone. the characters and dynamics are what really make it shine!!! with some super good fights <333

[i-may-be-an-emu]

Hi this might be a silly question but do you know where the nicknames squidboi and shark friend came from? I see them floating around the fandom and I've never been able to find their origins...

Hello!! :D

Yes I do :))

Sharkfriend

This is the overall name for sfth fans (it used to be a patreon level, but now there’s only one patreon price and is the term for general fans)

links:

Mr Wompa

This is the name for patreons (or “fellow Mr Wompa” I believe it was from a clip of Sam saying “Mr Wompa” instead of “Mr Wonka” when doing a scene about oompa loompas

link:

Squidboi

the Squidboi Army is the name for the fan discord folk :) it is also a term for Tom because of this clip from a livestream which is the origin of the term (he has done this a few times)

I hope this helps!!

[boxwinebaddie]

uncle neen!!! welcome back omg i was so sad to see u disappear </3 hyh !!! i had a question i asked last time but i was wondering since ur rewriting ur fics, are u planning on posting them on tumblr? or on ao3? pls be kind to urself too<33

good MORNING, lovie!!!!~ <3 c':

( or whatever time it is, where you are at the moment! )

i'm very excited to announce that you are my very FIRST new ask message on my brand new blog!

( teri is my first follower; ly ter. <33 o//3//o )

***long overdue UN ramble-bramble under the cut. xx

i /do/ miss my six hundred bajillion ask memes and am mourning the loss of all my online creations and great joys as a deranged southpark fanfiction author and the legacy i built with my tiny, gay weird hands

( i will go into it another time, but i had a very, very frightening bipolar episode surrounding my blog and my role on here as a writer, friend and mentor to you all, deleted all my things in a horrible panic, was able to recover them...but in the -- what i hope is the *very last* -- after shock of my episode...i got very scared, very sad and deleted both my dearly treasured and beloved, beautifully cult followed by many of you and other ghosts of sp style fanatics past ao3 account**

**( with peppermint on it at 13k likes which...oh my god, please be gentle with me, that was a very, very hard blow and rough realization for me and i am sorry to everyone who loved that fanfiction and wanted to go back and read it for posperity and personal comfort...i miss her too; rest in peace, pep, my first born. my sweet girl. </3 )

...and most tragically of all, i deleted my tumblr blog, with over one hundred pages of carefully curated content surrounding my sp aus, your lovely, insightful and thoughtful questions and inquiries, also typed with your tiny, weird gay hands answered, in turn, with mine, torched the ev. of those memories in the final blast and lost my window into your world through that medium...

...which is literally heartbreaking to me, because more than even my silly fanfictions or my blog, what i loved to do, was talk to all of you and read your wonderful messages each day and remind myself of why i should be here and continue to do what i do. </333 :'''c

BUT! my darlings, as ravenstan would say, 'it's always darkest before crimson dawn', for the very first time in several weeks ( which, i fear, and i was, full of fear and horrible self loathing/dread every waking and nightmarish moment ), last night, i cried for a very, very, very, long time, held myself together in the broken places -- told myself and the girl i was that i loved her and i was going to take care of us and be brave -- and broke the fever ( a little off key like jersey kyle, but very lovely nonetheless; love you tone deaf king. x my sboyf. )

today, i woke up this morning and slept...PEACEFULLY and woke up PERFECTLY HAPPY AND RESTED...

AND SMILED. QUITE. WIDE!!!!~ :D

and that is a baby step, but it is a step in the right direction and also almost wanted to make me weep like a baby again because i literally have not felt happy or like i do not hate myself for like, i shit you not, over like 15-20 days...it was frightening and fucking horrible! SLAY!

nevertheless ( or the most, finally ) i am excited to welcome in a new era/year of change on my blog and within myself; which is an era of peppermint flavored 'hope i'm healing' in a delicious rem(ember) font.

unfortunately, because i nuked my ao3 account, i do not currently one atm, but am in the process of recovering it.

( i'm not condoning any kind of rude/uncivilized behavior bc people are allowed to do anything they want -- but i'd really like to get my user back and would appreciate it a lot if no one used it to create another ao3 account just because it would be confusing for my readers and disheartening to me to not be boxwinebaddie anymore. )

until then, i will be writing/drafting rem(ember) in my messy google docs, am storyboarding everything to the best of my ability ( which is not perfect, but nothing is -- except stan and kyle to each other -- but god loves a trier, which is why he hates me: i prefer hell where it's drier -- that way my girlfail guylinea will not run. xx )

KALE SEITAN! ;)

posting little snippets of it on here for all of you, probably put it here on my tumblr and post it up to ao3 if i can regain my account/one in general ( i am a little worried that because of how long it's been, the loss of all my followers and, what i assume, is a decreased public or tiktok generated interest in sp, it will do poorly; rip </3 )

-- but the point is...that i want to start doing stuff for myself now. and not because i think i should or create unnecessary stress/sadness surrounding my strength or weakness as a writer or person ( or like, beat the living shit out of myself every single day anymore )...

...so i am writing it slowly, carefully, synthesizing all the info i gathered from over a year of answering your questions ( which helped me develop my sp au styles and their worlds into the lovely, seemingly breathing paper machslayed things they are now ), am going to write the fanfiction i always/wanted/ to write ( i’ve always wanted to rewrite RM, but was so busy and overwhelmed with my blog/my irl stuff that i couldn't )

and i'm calling it...

<3

p.s. ( i love you ): i am going to give my grandmother a copy of the first chapter of peppermint for christmas because i wanted to do something special/sentimental for her and secretly push the gay middle school style agenda ( she is actually very woke and thought my uncle might be gay for a while when he was younger, haha xx ), but i want to give them different names, so that on the off chance it gets passed off to my mom, my dad or manages to travel by world of mouth ( my grandma has a tendency to gab, but i love her a lot ) that it can't specifically be traced back to my dead ao3 or my blog.

so if any one has any ideas for silly interesting names i could give my sons, names for other characters or south park in gen. hit me up! <33

thank you for your interest in my work -- and in me, in general. i love you all dearly, i hope you heal ( i know you will ) and smile, pendejos because got a lot coming up on that crimson dawn and a lot of crazy shit coming down on that *jersey i won't say i'm in luh megara vc*

~SCHARLET sLUt~

cheers! mazel! ;) xx

-uncle nina, in her healing era <3

[lolathepeacocklord]

Hello! My bf and i have exactly two gender headcanons for masterson. Transmasc mlm but refuses to acknowledge it (ignore hea been on hrt for years) or butch he/him lesbian. I have no reasoning for this but i feel it ib my heart of hearts.

Also the guy in the gif is a cringey emo loser named Jack Spicer who acts as the main villain of Xaolin Showdowns first season. Hes an egotistical inventor who makes murderous robots and he kinda sucks.

GHUUUHGHUERHGUERGEURGH THESE ARE SO INSANELY FOR REAL OF BOTH OF YOUUUUUUU EEYAAAGHHH!!!!!!! I'm also the tboy bisexual head believer, despite how much he will argue with you after getting called gay even in an obviously joking way

AND HE/HIM BUTCHIFYING CHARACTERS IS SO AWESOME SAUCEEEE IM SO OBSESSED WHENEVER PEOPLE DO THATTTTT !!!!!!!!! it's so fun sauce like oh em cheese, you can do that... That's so fun I luv peculiar liddle queerz... :333 I know one person who mentioned that sort of thing about Nanosec once, and I think thats so cool like omg what da flip!!! that's so creative!!!! I love guy characters getting hit with the beam and being turned into the most fucked up lesbian in the entire world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I also don't have much a reason for why i do those thangs as well, besides just the usual shooting my bi projection eye lasers of doom at the freaks on my screen. Sometimes tis just a little fun to get a little cray cray, a little hashtag qweer a little insane in da membrane... Also mister Jack Spicer sounds so stupid and dumb i am madly in love with him and his weird little looks, congrats on his achievements in the field of being and evil genius <33333 and also henry masterson I suppose yeah he was here too ig... rolls eyes...

[matan4il]

This is the screenshot from Mile’s second account yesterday. The cartoon video shows the character on the screen calling the other character at 1AM just as they are going to bed. The caller is feeling low/stressed then the 2 characters talk till 2am and the one on the screen feels happy at the end of the call and other character is now exhausted.. Mile’s comment was lol” . Didn’t mile literally tell us a similar story about Apo calling him at all hours?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah, thank you so much for this! Not only do I love seeing this, but I believe you're my first ask regarding anything related to Kinnporsche. ;D *sending you tons of kisses* And yes, Mile talked at one point about how Apo calls him at all hours, and that especially before going to bed, Mile has to tell Apo he's going to sleep and to text him whatever else Apo wants to say (because otherwise, apparently Mile will never catch some sleep). LOL I'm also dying at the fact that literally, this was them, wasn't their video call from Paris starting at roughly 1 a.m from Mile's POV? I am dead. They kill me. Thank you again for this. I wanna return the favor, so let me see what I can share with you... How about this? Mile and Apo both posted black cats (/panthers) on the same day...

[sirtadcooper]

Hello! I hope you won't mind me if I come here just for a second to let you know that YOUR USERNAME IS 🥰😭💗💯👌👏❣️ All right, too much capslock and emoji madness, but I can't properly convey my feelings about it otherwise, and that's hoping that it refers to what I think it does, but I just quickly checked your blog and you posted about Galavant, and I'm not aware there is another character named Tad Cooper (and would they be worth mentioning in any case? There's only one and only in my heart 😁)... Well, if I'm wrong, what's one more reason for making a fool of myself with this message?! 😂 Ok, off I go now, nothing to see here, moving on, bye! 😆

Oh wow, don't worry, I love your caps lock and emoji madness! It brought a smile to my face. :) And yes, my URL refers to only the best dragon in all of fiction! I figured King Richard would give Tad Cooper a knighthood because, as we clearly agree, he's the best, bravest dragon.

[howthesleeplesswander]

There is nothing more wholly asinine and laughable than this. Nothing The Balladeer would rather avoid than giving this complete moron any more attention, any more of a reason to fluff his feathers. To feel... important.

But this was a problem mostly in himself, wasn't it? Childe had become important. Horribly, disgustingly, devastatingly important.

And when someone managed to wriggle their way into that position, apparently that meant giving a damn about these trivial, utterly foolish things.

Ugh. Kill him.

Scaramouche despises the amount of thought he's put into this. As equally as he despises that his conclusion is so stupidly simple. So when Childe rounds that turn in the winding paths of the Sumeru forest, he leaps into action without missing a beat (beyond, perhaps, a quiet sigh).

From a thick branch in an even thicker tree, he descends with a charged orb of Electro nested in his palm. Scaramouche unleashes it at his target with a sharp flick of his wrist, lands in the brush several lengths ahead of him with a soft thud.

Childe will dodge it. This, Scaramouche knows in confidence. And if he doesn't? Just as well.

"I heard today's a special day of some sort," he crows as he rises to his feet. The Balladeer looks at the oaf who cursed this world on such a day so many years ago, gaze sparkling with challenge, expectation—the things he allows it to show that veil absolutely everything else. As if in promise, his fingers flutter in the air beside him, sparks bounding between thin digits. "Supposedly, that means we ought to make it something memorable. What do you think?"

// ... h-happy... birthday, childe??? Enjoy some roughhousing and sparring with your tiny bf ??? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (but also we love the precious boy and hope he has a wonderful day! ;w;)

Answered! || @balladccr

((ahHHH his tiny bf knew exactly what he'd want for his bday!! 😭 just a casual, loving duel between boyfs asfjlkds SUCH DORKS 🥺❤️))

This was the first birthday he'd spent in Sumeru.

He made a point to return home for his siblings' birthdays when he could. (Or, at the very least, to send them something extravagant—ordering his subordinates to deliver gifts to his family's doorstep as soon as the sun rose on the exact day being celebrated.) He couldn't always manage a visit for his own birthday, but for them? It didn't matter how far he was from Snezhnaya or how urgent his current orders may be.

All the time, effort, planning...it was always worth it. That's simply what one did for the people who were most important.

Despite being far from home for his birthday this year, Childe found himself missing his family less than usual. Deep down, even his Abyss-tainted heart knew exactly why:

He was still spending it with one of those most important people.

Ugh. Just the thought made him want to kill something.

As if on cue, a rustle from the treetops drew his attention just as an orb of Electro hurtled towards him. In one fluid motion, he rolled sideways, summoned his bow in a burst of water, and sprung back to his feet. The foliage around him shook as the sphere struck the ground a few feet away.

The attack was familiar by now. He knew exactly who his "assailant" was before he straightened to face Scaramouche looming (as much as the pipsqueak could) further along the path. When their eyes locked, his own filled with glee.

"Oh, really? Where did you hear that?" Childe didn't recall telling the Sixth that particular detail, but even if he had...Heh, well wasn't it cute of him to actually remember? The promise of a fight ignited his veins in the best way—drowning out the giddy, budding warmth of something far softer that frothed underneath. "You think you've got what it takes to leave that kind of impression?" he challenged, grin curling wide. "Go ahead and try!"

No further warning given, an arrow materialized knocked and ready, and Childe fired upon his target before leaping forward, following in the arrow's wake with blades held high.

[widevibratobitch]

Heard you recently finished reading vicomte de bragelonne, my condolences bestie

thank you so much, im fine, im fine, im simply considering retiring to a secluded cave in the mountains, spending the rest of my life as a hermit and never speaking to another living soul ever again but im alright.

[singsweetmelodies]

Omg I enjoyed your dragon rider fic so so much!!! Definitely a fav.

One question. Did Pierre end up joining Lewis House?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! thank you so much for this ask 😍😍😍 that fic is my favourite child, just a little bit (🤭🥰) so it means the world that you enjoyed it <333

and as for your question! well 😏 i'm actually not going to answer it, but that's only because i do have a sequel in the back of my mind. i deliberately left the "will pierre join lewis' house?" question very open-ended in the main fic, to give me some nice space to explore it later... 👀 i don't know WHEN later is, unfortunately, because goodness knows there's a lot going on at the moment, lmao. but someday? i hope to give you the answer to that question in full fic form 😍😘 thanks again for asking!! ❤️🐲

[causenessus]

HI MY LOVELINESS!! good morning afternoon or evening!! I HOPE YOUR DAY GOES WELL OR IS WELL! (whenever you read this) and i hope you’ve eaten!! make sure you eat !! you’re actually the cutest like when i first read ur response i was smiling and giggling like UR SO CUTE STOP i miss you tons too my love literally like that other night when i was really tired i was like I MISS NESS SO MUCH so even in my tired state i was writing up a response for you because i <3 you so very much (NOT UR FAULT BTW)(LIKE I GENUINELY MISS YOU SOMETIMES WHEN YOU DONT POST ANYTHING IM LIKE D: I MISS NESS) like i’m like oh she’s probably working or at school so she won’t be active until at night but i miss her very much the aura is different when you’re not around <//3 (in a good way ofc ofc as always) i’m writing this one a bit early today so you can wake up to see it in ur inbox! I GOT SO SAD WHEN YOU WERE LIKE “i haven’t seen anything from mango anon yet” LIKE MY HEART CLENCHED so im writing this one up early for you since i unfortunately have another 9-5 to tend to(GRUELLING GRUELLING SHIFTS) like i literally just came back from my “vacation” and THEYRE SCHEDULING ME SO MUCH HHHH literally blink once if i should quit(i blinked just now)

im really curious now i wanna try almond butter! USUALLY im not a nut person(?) because like my brother has a treenut allergy so we usually don’t have that in the house BUT YOUVE HAD TO SM AND NOW I WANNA TRY! (pokebowl and almond butter now on my try list) ALSO STOP NESS UR LITERALLY THE CUTEST I LOVE YOU TOO <3333333333333333333 (releasing my love and affection through the threes) like you’ve become part of my daily life now where like I DONT EVEN USE MY JOURNAL ANYMORE LOL(i barely used it in the first place) but it feels nice to kind of talk about my day and it’s even better to read about your day! like it’s part of my daily routine now i swear my day goes like

wake up!

eat!

catch up on ness’ blog

catch up on the hashtags i follow

read ness’ response(actually this is funny because i read your response TWICE typically) (i read it when you first post it then i read it again when i write a response)

write response to ness

eat

sleep!

AND I LOVE IT i think reading your response is like the best part of my day because for one i get to learn more about you and two like i just I JUST LOVE READING WHAT YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO SAY LIKE it genuinely makes my day when you write long responses back i read every single part of it and i always make sure im like sitting down so i can fully pay attention to what you have to say like you’ve become such a priority in my life now it’s just (omg i’m becoming sappy too now)(SAPPY SEASON WOOOO) BUT WE ARE SO TWIN FLAME !!! SO SOULMATES SO TWIN FLAME like mango anon is in love with ness everyone mango anon is ness’ (ness’ mango anon forever)

ALSO PLS THE CHEFS AT YOUR WORK?? let me just go guard dog mode here rq like maybe they just think they’re being nice but sometimes it’s weird AND I GET IT because like it’s nice to be appreciated at work or complimented but it’s also kinda weird and uncomfortable because it’s like ermmm okay! you’re old enough to be my father but i’m gonna just try to pretend not to notice that !! fortunately or unfortunately there’s not a lot of men at where i work and i think like idk most of it has to do with the fact that we specialize(?) in women’s clothing so like there’s more women workers but i do have one male manager which is like my least favourite manager LOL not anything he really did but idk i’m just closer with my other managers(there’s 3 in total) because it’s hard to kind of be chill with him like heyyyy sir manager yup everything is fine here! and sometimes i feel like he just has higher expectations for the store but it’s like sir we get paid minimum wage, i will not be breaking my bone for these customers or this store very much respectfully!! BUT HHHH THE WEIRD OLD MEN INTERACTIONS WHEN UR A MINOR?? GET AWAYYYYY like they could be ur father or damn UR GRANDFATHER like AHHHH its so weird and YEAH THE HOUSEWIFE COMMENT LIKE PLEASE SIR PLEASE but also with our name tags its like if you’re 18 and under you get a little sticker that says minor on it now (like i think they started doing that at the beginning of the year?) i still don’t wear it because i get so caught off guard when i hear “have a good day mango anon!” i literally WHIP my head over like ??? oh!! umm!! you too!! ITS JUST WEIRD TO ME LIKE IT SHOULDNT BE?? but i’m also scared of them putting in a bad review for me with my name so there’s that too LOL

I THINK PROPS IS EASY TOO BUT LIKE i meant kinda like it’s more hands on i guess? in a way? like you got to be more involved IM NOT TOO SURE but yeah props and runners were like very very popular when i was in the play and i just kind of assumed it was because they liked being on stage but not really on stage as a cast? if that makes sense? I THINK LIGHTS AND SOUND IS DEFINITELY INTIMIDATING LOL because like one mistake and everyone just looks at the booth (IK WHAT UR TALKING ABT WITH THE BOOTH!!)(also i get the caps like why are we shouting)(I LIKE SHOUTING THOUGH) like the little booth that’s behind the audience with a separate secret little door and like the two windows for the lights and the big window in the middle where the motherboard is (sorry that made no sense) but that’s how my little area looked! for my crew there was 2 people on sound plus the stage manager did help out sounds a bit usually (more like she would stand behind us and loom over us most the time) and lights i think we had like a lot more people but they were all in like the upper years so when they all graduated we just had two or three lights people (idk one of them never really showed up) I HATE WORKING WITH PEOPLE TOO THOUGH! especially if they’re slow because like i know what i’m doing so i’m just there sitting waiting for them to do something and i don’t wanna be arrogant like erm actually it’s this one! SO I JUST SIT IN SILENCE but i swear if i was in theatre with you as my lights duo i would cry(with love) like it would’ve made my experience so much better because literally after my first year i felt like a BABYSITTER LIKE AFTER THE SENIOR LIGHTS PEOPLE LEFT I WAS LITERALLY A BABYSITTER(okay time to stop shouting it is not that deep)(IT IS DEEP TO ME THOUGH) also theatre kids do yap SO MUCH but like sometimes it’s too too much where i miss my cues and the director looks up at our little booth like waiting for the next scene to come on and i literally get so embarrassed LOL but it’s so awkward when the director is literally yelling at a certain group then switches up right after like okay everyone! let’s go from scene 23! LIKE OKAY IM JUST GONNA ACT LIKE IM NOT EMBARRASSED AND ASHAMED but oh my god the panic attack?? no because theatre environment is so so toxic like i swear it just automatically comes with being in tech theatre because i forgot if i said this already but one time our director was keeping us late and we were literally HUNGRY because like we didn’t expect rehearsals to go out so late and one of the cast members literally fainted because we didn’t get any breaks!! so it was probably the lights overwhelming her or idk MAYBE THE FACT SHE HASNT EATEN but it was so terrifying and scary then the director was like erm okay ill order you guys pizza let’s all take a break like YOU THINK?? it was so so scary like thankfully she was okay but its like DAMN it takes a cast member fainting to get a break like that’s crazy

PLS WE WOULD LITERALLY DOMINATE AS A LIGHTS AND SOUND DUO IDC!! the professionals can step aside and see how WE do it because i know we would kill it like put us on like phantom of the opera or like hamilton or something LOL(like i unironically love hamilton)(NO SHAME AT ALL I WILL RECITE EACH MUSICAL ON THE TOP OF MY HEAD) also you were 100% right because during show nights she was NOT louder like you did not save anything please get out of here with the vocal rest excuse because miss girl you were NOT LOUDER like i could see the colors on my stage managers face DRAIN when she had her first scene because like it’s so terrible when someone is a good actor but they’re so BRATTY AND STUCK UP LIKE PLEASE!! (the pent up rage is so real because i feel like i could make a podcast and just RANT about this on and on)(i will never forget you shirley holmes actor i still have rage over you)

ALSO THE SHIFTING DISCORD IS SO FUNNY LOL i always wondered if shifting actually worked?? like the discord i joined was just for online gaming so we did a lot of minecraft, roblox, phas! and they moved to VR but i literally was too broke for VR so id always just watch someone stream it LOL or me and sock would just play minecraft(sock if ur out there im still very very sorry)

ALSO OMG I CANT BELIEVE U REMEMBER? like i feel like you get a lot of asks like daily so i was like omg i wonder if she’d remember this like i can not scroll down to find it because i literally just fill your blog now LOL but i genuinely remember being so like IDK I JUST FELT SO SOFT AND LOVING LIKE IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT? i didn’t wanna like bother you or overwhelm you so much but i was like ness seems so piled up with everyone right now i hope she’s taking care of herself and eating :( and that’s what awakened me out of my little mango peel but like LITERALLY UR JUST THE SWEETEST LIKE I KNOW IVE SAID THAT SO MUCH BUT LIKE UR LITERALLY <333333333333333333333333333333 like google what are synonyms for sweet bcuz like real real realness you’re literally one of my favourite people actually i lied UR MY FAVOURITE PERSON EVER LIKE genuinely reading ur responses are the best part of my day and like if some days you are too tired to reply DO NOT EVEN WORRY AT ALL! the main thing i always wanna get across is like i want you to eat and i want you to take care of yourself and have a good day because you deserve nothing but the best! like not everyday can be a good day unfortunately but i want you to have the closest to a good day everytime!

ANYWAYS ITS TIME TO WRAP IT UP AND GO TO SLEEPPP!! but ness literally if i had a genie wish i would dedicate three of those wishes to you like i would wish for you to always have a good day, for you to have good health and GOOD WEALTH!! like i would fish the moon with a measly little fishing rod for you and i would fetch stars for you with my BARE HANDS!! i love you very much and i hope you have the bestest day ever and everything goes well <3333 make sure to eat and take care of yourself!! and you should totally just fly here anyways !! I WOULD BE UR HOUSEWIFE AND FOLD UR CLOTHES PERFECTLY FOR YOU AND GET YOU ALL THE ALMOND BUTTER AND BAGELS THE WORLD CAN OFFER <333 DONT WORRY ABOUT BEING TOO SAPPY OR YAPPY!! there can never be too much sap and yap when it comes to you my love so do not worry at all! you have the bestest bestest day ever and i can’t wait to hear from you again !!! xoxoxo

AAAAAA MANGO ANON OKAY NOW I CAN FRFR SAY I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH OMG I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY??? WHY WAS I SO TIRED OH YES I WAS OUT UNTIL 9PM HOLD ON I MAY DELVE INTO THAT but oh my goodness good evening mango anon i cannot tell you how much i've missed you and the way i've also been formulating my entire response to you over these past two days like yesterday i came home and was like "I HAVE SO MUCH TO TELL MANGO ANON" and then passed out </3 BUT MY HEADACHE IS GONE!!! AND I AM ALIVE AND WELL AND EATING "DINNER" (it's 10 pm. it's the same thing i ate for breakfast bc I'M SO TIRED 😭 I'M SORRY MY HEAD IS SO JUMBLED I WILL TRY MY BEST TO MAKE THIS SIMPLE TO FOLLOW!!!)

aaa i literally hate how i've had to move like answering all my asks to like 10 pm at night bc i am just not alive during the day and the THOUGHT that i will be BUSIER september-novemeber is KILLING ME (and actually that's all started already, "that" ofc being my stage managing duties at my old high school </3 CAN U TELL MY HEAD IS JUMBLED I'M SORRY HOLD ON WITH ME I'M HOLDING YOUR HANDS AND KISSING THEM RN MANGO ANON MWAH <33) i hope that your 9-5 went well!! AND OFC DO NOT WORRY ABOUT SENDING IN ASKS BY ANY CERTAIN TIME!! i am just happy to see messages from you everyday (AND OBVIOUSLY ALSO NO PRESSURE TO SEND SOMETHING EVERYDAY!! I JUST LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU ANY DAY WE DON'T INTERACT </33 YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW TORN I WAS ON GOING TO SLEEP OR TRYING TO ANSWER YOUR ASK LAST NIGHT UGHHGFHKJDHGKFD)

I AM BLINKING SM RN LIKE WAIT I'M GOING TO DO THOSE 2020 QUARANTINE TIKTOK REACTION EMOJIS 👁👄👁 ➖👄➖👁👄👁 ➖👄➖ 👁👄👁 ➖👄➖ 👁👄👁 ➖👄➖ I AM BLINKING!!! U SHOULD QUIT!! WATCH THE BUSINESS CRUMBLE WHEN THEY LOSE THEIR BEST WORKER 🔥🔥🔥🔥 COME WORK WITH ME AT MY LITTLE FRAME RETAIL JOB!! <333 and in all seriousness PLEASE DO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!! 9-5s are GRUELING so please make sure to take breaks and eat and drink lots of water!!!! and make sure you get proper rest especially after i KNOW u have to deal with so many people i am so sorry for u </3

I'M GOING TO CRY AT YOUR SCHEUDLE AND EVERYTHING OMG HOLD ON WHERE DO I EVEN START <333333333333333333333 I AM ALSO EXPRESSING ALL MY LOVE THROUGH THOUSANDS OF 3S FOR YOU!!!!!!!!! AND YOU'RE SO SWEET I LOVE YOU <3333333333 AND AA!!! i'm glad we're both like influencing each other's food lol 😭 AND I ATE THAT STUPID IMITATION CRAB POKE BOWL AGAIN TODAY BC I'M LITERALLY SCRAPING BY ON LIFE RN AND JUST TRYING TO EAT AS MANY PROPER MEALS AS POSSIBLE and now everytime i eat i think of u!!! <3333 i love almond butter because i hate the taste of peanut butter and just like,,, everything about it,,,, and i DON'T like normal almond butter i love cinnamon almond butter!! it like balances out the really prominent nut taste but idk <3 IF YOU TRY IT LMK WHAT YOU THINK!! but i totally get like your brother having the tree nut allergy and everything!! my dad's allergic to onions so i've just never grown up using/eating onions i'm not used to it at all,, like if a recipe calls for onions i immediately just replace it with more garlic it's crazy!!! AND YOUR SCHEDULE AGAIN PLEASE OMG :((((

mine is something like this:

wake up -> eat -> school </3 -> try and write/read asks -> work -> drive home -> eat -> answer asks (mango anon <3) and try to write -> sleep

it's always try to write bc i'm always SO pressed for time or tired 😭😭😭😭 like jsyk this is the only ask i'm answering today bc i want to finally draft the tonic chapters that were SUPPOSED to come out today if my wifi wasn't horrible AND I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH AND I GENUINELY LOVE TALKING TO YOU SO SO MUCH MANGO ANON I TOTALLY GET WHAT YOU MEAN ABOUT LIKE ENJOYING TALKING ABOUT YOUR DAY AND I ALWAYS FORGET TO JOURNAL AS WELL BUT THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER <3 I LOVE TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR DAYS AND REPLY AND ALL THAT STUFF IT IS SO FUN!!! AND LIKE OFC I LOVE EVERYONE AND WILL EVENTUALLY GET TO THEIR ASKS <3 BUT U AND ME????? WE'RE SPECIAL TWIN FLAMES SOULMATES <333 AND I HAVE BEEN DYING TO ANSWER YOUR ASK FOR LIKE A DAY NOW!!! everytime i go into my inbox and read "hello loveliness!!!" I START KICKING MY FEET AND IMMEDIATELY CAN'T WAIT TO GO HOME SO I CAN START DRAFTING A RESPONSE GENUINELY I CANNOT EXPLAIN TO YOU THE AMOUNT OF SEROTONIN MY BRAIN RELEASES EVERYTIME I READ THOSE WORDS!!! i am so obsessed with the nickname loveliness by the way you are so smart and i am so honored and you make me so so happy i love you mango anon <333

AAA PLEASE AND LIKE I GO BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN TWO TABS ONE TO READ YOUR ASK AND THE OTHER TO ACTUALLY START ANSWERING YOUR ASK IF THAT MAKES SENSE?? (or i just scroll up to read whatever part of your ask i'm on next) BUT SEEING HOW YOU TALKED ABOUT US BEING TWIN FLAMES RIGHT AFTER I ALSO MENTIONED IT?????? THIS IS WHAT I MEAN WE ARE SO CONNECTED AA!!! and i absolutely love hearing about your days and learning more about you!!! please i love hearing every detail <3 AND NOW U HAVE TO TELL ME ABOUT TODAY AND TOMORROW SINCE I UNFORTUNATELY WASN'T ABLE TO ANSWER YOUR ASK YESTERDAY!! (no pressure <3 but literally was at work and i was like "I WONDER HOW MANGO ANON'S DAY WAS </333 I HOPE SHE TELLS ME TOMORROW </33333") aaa i cannot tell you how much you genuinely mean to me and how much you cross my mind every single day!!! i literally consider you such a good friend like i love you so so much mango anon i'm so so happy to hear from you <33 (back on sap yap again) YOU ARE MY MANGO ANON FOREVER!!! AND I SWEAR THE WAY WE'RE JUST SAYING THIS ALL TO EACH OTHER 😭😭 LIKE I DIDN'T EVEN READ THE WHOLE PARAGRAPH YET BC I IMMEDIATELY HAVE TO YAP/TYPE DOWN ALL MY THOUGHTS THE MOMENT I GET ONE WHILE READING SO I JUST GOT TO THE PART ABOUT U SAYING I'M A PRIORITY IN MY LIFE RIGHT AFTER I HAD MY ENTIRE YAP SESSION ABOUT YOU BEING LIKE A BEST FRIEND TO ME 😭😭 YOU'RE SUCH A PRIORITY IN MY LIFE AS WELL!! ONCE AGAIN WHY I'M JUST ANSWERING YOUR ASK TODAY BEFORE I SLEEP <33 BECAUSE YOU MEAN SO MUCH TO ME AND I FEEL SO COMFY WITH YOU YK LIKE AAA JUST EVERYTHING I LOVE YOU SM MANGO ANON <33

and HELP you're so right like some of them are old enough to be my father and even the younger ones....it's still weird... 😭 like i'm not even kidding the watermelon thing was real!!! someone brought in watermelon to my restaurant job and my mom asked if i wanted some and i was like "if u cut it for me ♡" and she did and then this one sushi chef was like "i can cut more for her" and it's this sushi chef that's def had a crush on me since i came back to work there but like.....no bro i don't want watermelon cut by your fishy nasty hands sorry....LMAO I FEEL BAD BUT ALSO I CAN'T BC YEAH THEY JUST STARE WHILE I TRY AND EXIST 😭 I GET THE ICK WITH MEN SO QUICKLY IT'S NOT GOOD

but NO bc like male managers in things like a mainly female clothing shop like girl what r u doing there??? like at least imo i just cannot wrap my head around it like ik u did not become a full fledged adult just to manage a women's clothing place when ur a MAN like i just do not understand it AND I WOULD BE UNCOMFY WITH HIM TOO!!! ALSO THE MINOR STICKERS ON YOUR NAME TAGS???? 😭 i just cannot believe they have to clarify that like i'm not sure if men being creepy is such a problem at your work they have to do that??? but i'm sorry nonetheless 😭 AND I TOTALLY GET IT i remember being in like a target line once (bc self checkout was closed </3) and so it was the guy in front of me's turn to get his items scanned and IMMEDIATELY off the bat he's looking at the cashier's nametag being like "oh what's your name? how do you say it?" and she had to tell him and mind you it's like 9:45 she def just wants to go home and does NOT wanting to be interacting with this sunburned man buying like aloe vera and idk febreeze i forget what the other thing was and then he ALSO told her "have a good night [cashier's name]" LIKE DON'T USE PEOPLE'S NAMES YOU DON'T KNOW THEM IT'S JUST WEIRD??? IDK

AND OMG YES OKAY TECH TIME I HAVE SO MUCH TO TELL U BUT LET ME RESPOND TO U FIRST!! OOOO the thing u said about like props people like being on stage but not as actors is CRAZY but SO TRUE like i'm sorry but most of those people are def attention seekers....like not them purposely trying to be seen in the wings and dancing and all that stuff like get out bro (once again unresolved tech anger coming up again) ALSO NO YOUR BOOTH DESCRIPTION MADE PERFECT SENSE!!! I FORGET WHERE I WENT THAT THEIR BOOTH WAS EXACTLY LIKE THAT where was i????? hold on.... OH i think i was at this university i visited when i thought of going to college for lights bc their soundboard was behind the audience but the lightboard and stage manger and like projections were all above in like a booth ABOVE the audience idk how to describe it i'm sorry 😭😭😭

my school was so poor and sketchy like the booth had a door and a sliding window (there were like four levels for no reason bro. so that it was sound proof or something???) and basically like the floor was littered with condoms (unused. they were from our sound people bc we literally put our mic packs in sound packs to keep actors' sweat from ruining them and we have like an infinite amount of condoms bc someone years ago sent it to us as a joke. i one put a condom on my hand so i could unscrew a light bulb that was still hot and put in a red light bulb so we could use it during shows. the condom was not a good glove btw it broke on me ANYWAY), the table our lightboard sat on was NOT made for it so the board like hangs off the counter LMAO and the two monitors we have for it (our board is OLD literally like an element one. she's not advanced at all) barely fit with that giant thing on the counter AND UGH THERE'S SO MUCH SORRY but anyway the counter it all sits on is also way too tall so ig when the school first opened they built this creaky af platform and then screwed in literal auditorium chairs (so like the ones where you push the cushion down you sit down yk??? or else they flip back up IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT SORRY) so like that platform is SO creaky everyone can hear anyone walk across it or just sit up from the chairs OMG IT WAS HORRIBLE AND THEN THERE WERE LIKE THOUSANDS OF TOOTSIE ROLL WRAPPERS IN THE CEILING AND BLACK MOLD SO I ALWAYS ENDED UP GOING CRAZY LIKE I WAS LITERALLY HIGH OFF OF SOMETHING EVERYTIME I WAS UP THERE (people also sometimes like hotboxed in there so maybe i was literally getting high but WHEN I TELL U BRO IT WAS CRAZY IN THERE IT WAS SUCH A SAFETY HAZARD IN EVERYWAY I'M GOING TO STOP YAPPING BUT THERE WAS SO MUCH WRONG WITH THAT BOOTH)

"ERM ACTUALLY IT'S THIS ONE" is SO REAL LMAOOO like i do not have the patience to teach people like i will show them how to do something and if they don't understand....well i'll try my best to explain it but i am NOT sitting thru watching them figure out things they can watch me do it 50 more times at the speed of light and force themselves to understand what i'm doing 😭 (also your stage manager just looming behind u is SO REAL LMAOOAO) AND OMG I FORGOT TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT YES LIGHTS AND SOUND IS SO INTIMIDATING BC MISTAKES ARE SO PROMINENT AND OBVIOUS AND YES LIKE SOMETIMES MY CUES WOULD GET MESSED UP and my director would be like "ness this isn't the right lighting cue mimimiyapyapyap" and i'd be like "I KNOW YOU DERANGED 50 YEAR OLD MAN STFU AND LET ME DO WHAT I NEED TO DO CAN U SEE HOW I'M OBVIOUSLY TRYING TO MAKE THIS A BLACKOUT I DIDN'T NEED YOUR INPUT" (dw this stuff is def deep. like unprocessed trauma that we are getting thru together rn) (mango anon and ness sound + lights duo for the win oml literally) AND IT'S THE WORSE on like the first day of tech week and no one's given me my cues yet so like actors are waiting on ME to bring up lights EVERY SINGLE SCENE or they have to wait for me to write cues and i'm like "I'M TRYING TO GO FAST GUYS I'M SORRY U HAVE TO WAIT FOR ME </333" AND UGHHGHGH HEARING ABOUT YOUR ACTOR THAT FAINTED IS SO REAL AND SICKENING like theatre is so sketchy and like....def not legal/oscha approved (which is a given but like THE WAY THEY KEEP US SO LATE AND NEVER GIVE US FOOD?? THAT HAS TO BE A VIOLATION SOMEWHERE) like i could FEEL that girl's hunger omg i def understand her tho (AND THAT'S WHY IT'S IMPORTANT TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF MANGO ANON!!! I HOPE YOU'RE DOING GOOD AND EATING WELL <3)

LMAOOOAOAOAO WAIT MANGO ANON AND NESS RELIVE THEIR THEATRE TRAUMA/RAGE MOMENTS PODCAST WHEN??????? WHAT IF WE QUIT OUR RETAIL JOBS AND START A PODCAST I THINK WE COULD DO IT AND MAKE MILLIONS LMAOAOAO AND THEN WE ADVERTISE OUR SKILLS LIKE "anyway...since we went thru so much...who wants us....broadway????? hamilton???? u guys looking for new sound and lights people????? we're right here 😌"

ANYWAY LET ME GO ON THIS SIDE TANGENT RQ MB I HAD TO TELL SOMEONE THOUGH AND YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO WOULD UNDERSTAND 😭😭 but the reason i say that my duties for stage managing for my old high school has already started is bc like,,, technically everything starts september 5th but my tech director asked me to come in yesterday, today, and tomorrow BC GET THIS OMG i cannot even sorry like idek what to say but that school and the theatre department and him are SO sketchy like please bro i am a fresh young adult AND MAN HAD ME COME IN TO SUPERVISE HIS TECH CLASSES. MANGO ANON. I WAS SUBBING FOR A CLASS AND I HAVE NO PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE OR ANY DEGREE OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT I CANNOT BE DOING THAT. like he had an "actual sub" in that class but she handed me his papers bc he was like "yeah he said u were going to be teaching the kids how to use drills" and i was like "oh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃" sorry i am typing this with tears in my eyes because like what is my life bro how do i get into these situations AND YK WHY HE WAS GONE?????????????? HE'S PULLING THE PLUG ON HIS FATHER IN LAW BRO omg. (if any of my irls see this like it would be so obvious who i am BUT IDC BC I'M HAVING A CRISIS RN LIKE WHAT WAS I DOING IN THAT SCHOOL) i can't i'm sorry and like i can't make up any of this either like when i was a STUDENT he would also do this where if he was ever absent he usually just had the "tech mom" of the department in charge bc yk how it is. you join tech and u sign ur life away so i was always in tech classes and then i did tech after school and </333 BUT ANYWAY YES SO I HAD TO TEACH KIDS HOW TO USE A DRILL AND I WAS DYING AND JUST SO ?????????????????????????????? AND THEN THE REASON I WAS SO TIRED YESTERDAY IS BECAUSE I GOT LOOPED INTO HANGING OUT WITH FRIENDS FOR LIKE THE ENTIRE DAY WHEN I PLANNED TO LEAVE EARLY BC I HAD A HEADACHE AND WANTED TO WRITE BUT INSTEAD I SAT IN MY CAR WITH ONE OF MY FRIENDS OUTSIDE OF THEIR HOUSE FOR FIVE HOURS AND WE COMPLAINED AND GOSSIPED ABOUT A SINGLE MAN THE ENTIRE TIME (i can't remember how much i've said about him or what u remember and ik it's hard without names and for that i'm sorry but it's the same guy i was talking about that i used to like and was helping me like clean and blah blah blah WHATEVER the point was he had like 10k problems and was hurting EVERYONE around him so we went into great detail and study about that and idk. we connected the dots and realized he was literally just regina george and then found out he's literally said before he kins regina george and like ?????????????? HOW DO YOU KIN REGINA GEORGE??????????????????????????? anyway. sorry. that probably makes no sense but just know ground was broken last night)

OKAY CONTINUING ON bro i honestly have no idea like i never shifted but i have a friend who said she did but like..... who knows..... trust issues xxx LMAOOO THE WAY I RECOGIZED THE NAME SOCK IMMEDIATELY FROM WHEN YOU FIRST TALKED ABOUT HIM I LOVE HOW DEEP THE LORE GOES i also played roblox and minecraft with some of the people on there 😭😭 one of these days i'll pull up screenshots of really funny moments in that discord server bc they're lowk actually funny like let me just tell u one now but basically we had a literal account named jesus christ in that server so this was a conversation in that server once:

random person: i'm going to shift today

jesus christ: u can't do it

random person: what

(JESUS CHRIST MEANT TO SAY "U CAN DO IT" BUT MESSED UP IT WAS SO FUNNY AT LEAST TO ME 😭 AND I CAN'T TELL IF IT WAS BC YK IT'S LIKE JESUS CHRIST, PFP IN ALL, OR THE TYPO)

AND AA YES OFC I REMEMBER!! MY BRAIN IS VERY GOOD AT REMEMBER SMALL NICHE DETAILS <3 AND ALSO YOUR ASKS WERE ALWAYS SO SWEET I COULD NEVER FORGET THEM!!! THEY LITERALLY STAY WITH ME FOREVER AND MAKE ME SO HAPPY <3 the "little mango peel" is SO CUTE AWH AND PLEASE!!!!! YOU'RE MY FAVORITE AND I THINK YOU'RE SO SWEET!!! YOU'RE THE RIPEST BEST MOST PERFECT MANGO OUT THERE MANGO ANON <33 YOU ARE WHAT EVERY MANGO ASPIRES TO BE AND WHAT PEOPLE HOPE TO GET WHEN THEY BUY MANGOS <3 YOU ARE THE BEST AND SWEETEST AND MOST AMAZING PERSON EVER AND YOU'RE MY FAVORITE!!! ik i shouldn't play favorites and like i tried to play it off.....but obv u are like i'm only answering your ask today because i love you so much!!! <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 and i want you to eat and take care of yourself too please!!! i love to hear about what you eat and your days so definitely please always update me!!!!! <3 i hope that you had a good day today!! and i can't wait to hear about it tomorrow hopefully <3

AND HAVE A GREAT SLEEP MANGO ANON!!!! IF I HAD A GENIE I WOULD WISH U COULD FLY TO ME OR ME TO YOU (that might be better. i hate the u.s. also hope this isn't weird 😭😭😭😭) AND WISH YOU ALL THE HAPPINESS IN THE WORLD AND WEATH!!! AND THEN WE COULD BE LIKE THE MOST AMAZING DUO LIKE HAIKYUU SMAU ROOMATES TYPE BEAT BC ROOMATES IN HQ SMAU ARE ALWAYS AMAZING LIKE THAT COULD BE US!!! i would get the moon and the universe and every single thing for you mango anon i love you so so much!!! PLEASE MAKE SURE TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!! I WILL ALSO GLADLY BE YOUR HOUSEWIFE OR GUARD DOG FROM THE CREEPY MEN <33 I CANNOT WAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU!!! YOU'RE THE BEST <33 THANK YOU FOR BEING THE KINDEST COOLEST PERSON EVER <3333 I LOVE YOU <333 AND HAVE THE BEST DAY EVER!!!!!

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

hai ariiiiii :3 guess whos SICK . me . im sick

ANYWAY thinking abt sugubooboo taking care of u while sick ,,,,,,,,

u kno when u get that feeling ur gonna b sick in the morning the night b4 it all hits ? i think sugu picks up on that after u blow ur nose one 2 many times n he asks if ur okay

ur not. obviously . so he heats up some nice peppermint tea, and something my mom does when im sick is take some honey, mix it w ginger powder + some other stuff thats good 4 ur throat and make me eat a spoonful of it [its gross as HELLLL i hate it but i feel a lil better afterwards] then tucks u in2 bed [later after uve fallen asleep he calls out of work for tomorrow, he REFUSES to leave u alone + sick]

the next morning ur properly Sick and suguru wakes u up w breakfast in bed, all warm foods infused with clove, mint, ginger, and sets a few packs of tissues next 2 the bed

after uve eaten he lays in bed w u 4 a bit, kissing your head and fiddling w ur hands. eventually u ask abt work, he said he called out 4 both u n him.

he trusts u 2 take a shower on ur own, but when u get out hes holding a towel and wraps u in it immediately then just hovers around u as u do ur morning routine, making sure youre okay n not abt 2 like . pass out or smthn

once ur dressed and fully cocooned in the bed once again, suguru pours out some cold medicine 4 u and hands u water once that NASTY liquid slides down ur throat. he gives u a lil candy as a palate cleanser tho, hes not mean

i think after that u just fall in and out of sleep 4 teh rest of the day until u get hungry again or need another dose of medicine. sometimes u wake up 2 suguru humming and playing w ur hair while he reads a book, sometimes he joins u and takes a nap w u. the only time u wake up alone is when its lunch or dinner n hes in the kitchen making smthn spicy 2 open ur sinuses

everytime u take a dose of medicine, he kisses you on the lips then pushes a glass of water in one hand n some candy in the other. hed probably mumble 'good job' or smthn like that in2 the top of ur head as he cuddles u while ur trying 2 get the taste out of ur mouth

he does NOT care if u sneeze n get snot all over him, puke on him if u have a stomach bug, cough in his face, or r generally disheveled. u could never disgust him.

if its sunny out, hell offer 2 take u outside just 4 a lil bit. if u dont think u can walk hes gonna pick u up. no complaining u NEED that sun, hell argue while sliding the patio door open

youll sit out 4 a bit, soaking up the sunshine then when u want 2 go back 2 bed hell carry u back and gently tuck u in2 bed

if ur 2 weak 2 even blow ur nose, hes holding the tissue 2 ur nose n waiting 4 u 2 blow. the chapstick might b all the way across the room n ur savior ends up being suguru and his long legs. the temp in the house is 2 hot? hes turning the a/c down and all the fans r coming 2 ur room bcuz he knows how slow the heating n cooling takes 2 change.

also everytime he walks in2 the room, hes asking how r u? do u need anything? does anything hurt too much? and he probably has smthn 4 u 2 do so ur not on ur phone all day [guess . guess who was on their phone all day . ME]

at the very end of the day, hes got u curled up in his lap on the bed, INCREDIBLY comfortable, and theres some movie on the tv in the bedroom. like juno or some other feel good indie movie. sugurus just kissing u everywhere on ur face and clutching u tight 2 him because u got super clingy after he had 2 run out 4 last minute groceries. since its past dinner time, he gives u lil candied ginger pieces 2 help w ur throat n other snacks 2 go w the movie.

eventually u fall asleep in his arms in the middle of the movie, smothered in warmth on all sides.

OKAY . WOW . moving on, HOW WAS UR DAY ARI ??? tell me abt that book ur reading rn !! u seem very enthusiastic abt it, id luv 2 know y ^_^ ! [personally my day was . ouchie . and ive got a book abt decolonialism checked out from the library rn :3]

ASHLEY !!!!!!!!! i’m answering this kinda late i hope your cold is gone by now 😔😔😔

BUT . GODDDDDDDDDD ARE YOU OUT TO KILL ME 😭😭😭😭😭😭 BE HONEST . how did you know sugu sickfics are my greatest weakness………… (i actually have . a whole fic just like this that i wrote a year ago or so 😭😭 YOU MADE ME WANNA GO BACK N READ IT HHHH this is very bad for my weak suguloving heart….) I’M JUST. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAYY. you keep serving me meals on a silver platter n i’m just?!?!! eating gratefully …. thank you……

NO BC YOU’RE SOOOOO RIGHT YOU’RE SO OBJECTIVELY CORRECT :((((((( HE’S. THE SWEETEST. the best bf around !!!!!! he’s so good at caring for you when you’re sick…. sniffle……. AND OFCCCC HE’D PICK UP ON IT INSTANTLY TOO. his sixth sense is so crazy accurate when it comes to his baby </33333 and wahhh him making you tea and tucking you in and calling in sick for you 🥺🥺🥺 he just wants you to feel better……

WAKING YOU UP . W BREAKFAST IN BED. WHAT IF I CRYYYYY THIS CONCEPT IS SO DEAR TO MY HEART ASHLEY ….. and him just. hovering around you. i feel like he would stand outside the bathroom while you shower just in case you were to fall over or smth…….. he’s so caring :(((( and wrapping you up in a towel…… cocooning you into bed. sniffle. i need him to baby me sooooo bad it’s not a want it’s a need …… he rlly would stay by your side the Whole time………… cooks for you and tends to you and makes sure you’re okay . he’s so good. i feel like he kind of really loves it too….. he doesn’t love that you’re sick BUT . he loves being allowed to take care of you :’3 loves making you feel better.

ALSOOO him kissing you and praising you whenever you take your medicine T_T oughhhhhhhh one kiss on the forehead + ”good girl/boy” from him and i would be OUT like a light. collapsed. fainted. he would be so good at coaxing you into taking it ……… ANDDDDD the part abt you never disgusting him. SO true. you could never ever disgust him he just wants you to be okay…….. forcing you out into the sunlight………… asking if you need anything……………. making sure you aren’t bored…………………. ohhhhh he’s 2 perfect we need to put him down.

sugurus just kissing u everywhere on ur face and clutching u tight 2 him because u got super clingy after he had 2 run out 4 last minute groceries.

AND THEN . YOU TOP IT OFF WITH THIS. ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️ THIS MADE ME MELT….. i’m so…………. i have so many thoughts abt this. sugu would LOVE a clingy s/o but i keep specifically thinking of him w an s/o who’s shy w physical affection.,,,, and how he’d react when they get sick and suddenly get all cuddly . 🥺 he would love it so much. kisses you all over and holds you soooo tight and he’s just!!!!! so enamored!!!!!!!!! you’re like a lil koala. he loves you. sob.

WAHHHHH THANK YOU FOR THE ABSOLUTE MEAL MY BELOVED i’m not exaggerating btw this is gonna feed my sugu thoughts for weeks to come…… AND MY DAY WAS GOOD!!!! i’m sorry to hear your day was ouchie </3 i hope it’s all better now!!! pls make sure to rest and eat properly <33 it’s what sugu would want for you!!!!!

AND . THE BOOK. YES. it’s called giovanni’s room by james baldwin and it’s sooooo <33333 yeah. it’s so good. i LOVE baldwin’s prose so much??????? and the story is just . AUGH. i’m still not finished but i’m so obsessed. it’s basically abt a closeted guy in like … the 1800s-1900s? who goes on vacation in paris while his girlfriend is in spain. and he meets this rlly mysterious charming italan barman called giovanni……….. the book is abt their relationship + their own experiences w homosexuality + their tragic ending (it’s revealed at the very beginning of the book that giovanni will meet his end by the guillotine)…..

so it’s just . yeah. it’s such a gorgeous book :’3 and just so . idk. raw? visceral?? i love giovanni a lot. and more than anything i loves james baldwin <333 i’m planning to buy another of his books too!!!! it’s called tell me how long the train’s been gone :3 I RLLY RECOMMEND BOTH OF THEM!!! i hope the book you just got ends up being good too <33

[luveline]

Hey lovely !! <3 could we see Spencer’s bombshell! Reader going into labour at the BAU but trying to downplay it like Pam did on the office !! (So sorry if you’ve already done a request like this) <333 have a lovely day ☺️

thank you <3 pregnant!reader, 1.3k

“Spencer?” 

Spencer groans into his pillow. 

Your hand slips onto his stomach. “Spencer, can you wake up?” 

“No,” he mumbles, lifting his head off of one of the many pillows of your bed. He thought his bed at his apartment was comfortable, but Spencer has never slept so well as he does in your new bed, in your new home, with you warming the sheets beside him. What a miracle to live with you, the rush to get everything done before your due date complete. 

You make a strange noise, hard to see in the dark as he opens his eyes. “What’s wrong?” he asks. 

You struggle into a sitting position. Angel, he thinks sympathetically, you’re fit to burst, your baby bump as big as it’s going to get and awfully heavy. He sits up with you, putting his hand behind your back. “Baby?” he prompts. 

“I think,” —you sound meek, not yourself, each word said reluctantly— “that I’m having real contractions.” 

Spencer’s head isn’t working. He takes a few seconds to hear you, and then another few to realise what you’ve said. “Are you sure?” 

“They’re really painful.” 

Braxton Hicks (which you’ve had, and not enjoyed) aren’t usually really painful. They’re also irregular. “How many have you had? Has it been long?” he asks. 

“Maybe five. They’re like…” You take his hand. “They’re like, they go on for ages. I’ve never felt anything like it.” 

“So you’re in labour,” he says, grasping your hand back. “Definitely. Let me get my watch, I need to time your contractions. Are you okay?” 

“Oh, no,” you say, shaking your head. “I’m not in labour. I’m going in to labour.”  

“It’s the same thing,” he says. He has boxes and boxes of mental knowledge explaining the difference, but he’s too excited to catch your strange tone. “I’ll be right back.” 

He races from the bed to the bathroom where he’d left his watch. You should be having contractions far apart at this point, around fifteen to twenty minute gaps, but it could be much further or far sooner, and Spencer doesn’t know when you had your last. He needs to time them properly so he knows when to take you to the hospital. 

“Good thing we packed your bag yesterday morning, huh?” he asks, sliding back into bed with a huge smile on his face. “And you showered last night, you’re ready to go. I have all our things in the trunk, but Morgan’s gonna have to come and do the car seat, I forgot all about it.” 

You shake your head again. 

He worries it’s from pain. “Is it starting?” 

“No, no, I’m not having any. I think it’s just cramps, actually.” 

“What?” He puts his hand on your bump. “That’s what they feel like, honey, it’s cramps, it’s your cervix contracting, it feels just like a cramp.” 

“No, I don’t think so.” 

Spencer cups your cheek, his fingertips sliding softly to the corner of your eye, his thumb by your nose. You look younger without any makeup on, younger still with your creeping frown. “Hey,” he says, his voice half breath, hoping you’ll look him in the eye, “hey, what’s going on?” 

Your eyebrows start to pinch down. “It’s not labour.” 

“Is something wrong?” 

“I’m not having her.” 

“She had to come out some time,” he says, attempting to be funny and lighten the mood. 

“I really think it’s fine. I’m just having those Braxton Hicks again, it’s too far from my due date–”

“Angel, it’s a week away. We knew it could happen now.” He strokes your cheek again. “We don’t have to go yet. Let me time a couple of your contractions and see what we’re working with.” 

“It’s not…” You duck your head. The catch of pain gets you, and Spencer checks his watch. Four minutes past four in the morning, the longest hand at five seconds. Then he looks for your hand again to hold in his, his own panic backseated by your denial. “They’re not that bad,” you say stiffly. 

“That’s good, honey, but they’re going to get worse. Remember what we said, huh? The pain will get really bad, but there’s nothing to be afraid of. We have a plan.” 

“It’s not real.” 

“Baby,” he says, tugging your hand imploringly to his chest, his voice having descended to a place it so rarely goes, “what are you scared of?” 

“That I can’t do it,” you say. 

“Is your contraction over?” he asks, noticing the laxening of your fingers. 

“Yeah.”

He’s silent for a few seconds. 

“Is there anything in the entire world that you can’t do?” 

You sniff. 

“Seriously. I can’t name a single thing you can’t do. This isn’t different. It’s going to be scary and painful, and it’s not something I want for you, not really, but you’re about to have a baby.” He rubs your thumb, ducking his head in the hopes that the movement will make you raise your own. “Our baby. We’ve waited such a long time.” 

“Nine months.” 

“Thirty nine weeks and two days. That's two hundred and seventy five days waiting. This is a good thing,” he says, meeting your eyes the moment you raise your head. “The waiting is over. This is the fun part.”

“‘Cos our girl is coming,” you say. 

He grins. “Exactly! I know you’re scared, but thinking you can’t do it? Of course you can. And I’m gonna be with you the whole time.” 

“You promise?”

“Of course I do.” 

You wipe your eyes with the backs of your hands. Spencer lets his palm fall onto your thigh. It really is going to hurt. It’s gonna be pain like you’ve never felt before, and he’s terrified of everything that could go wrong, but what’s important now is making sure you know you’re going to be alright. 

“You’re going to be a beautiful mom,” he says, rubbing your thigh, softer from time spent resting. “I’m so excited I can’t describe it. This time, the day after tomorrow, we could be here with her. We’ll be putting her down to sleep in the nursery in her newborn onesie we picked out, the–”

“Little rabbits,” you say, the hint of a smile on your lips. 

“I can’t wait to see her face.” 

“Her little fingers.” 

“Her nose, her eyes–”

“You said babies have their moms hands.” 

He smiles. “I have my mom’s. Can you imagine? And we get to find out today.” 

You let him touch your stomach. “I know what you’re doing.”

“You always do.” 

“I’m so scared.” 

“Sweetheart, let me be the scared one.” 

“You’re not gonna dilate ten centimetres!” 

“You’ve probably already done one,” he says. “Just nine more to go.” 

His joke doesn’t land. To his horror, you end up sniffling and locked up with panic. He rubs your back in long sweeps, feeling younger than ever kneeling in bed at your side, minutes droning on. He’s pulling your head into his neck thinking he’s completely out of your depth when you say, “It’s starting again, Spence.” 

He checks his watch. “That’s eleven minutes.” 

Your contractions will get worse soon, and closer together. You probably don’t have long until it starts, and labour might go on for hours. To do this, you're going to have to believe That you can. 

Spencer takes your face into his hands and looks you right in the eyes. “You can do this. I know you can.” He pecks you gently. “Angel, if anyone in the world can do this, it’s you.” 

You take a deep breath. He watches your nerves turn to determination, turn to love. “I know.” 

“Is there anything you need me to do before we start getting ready to leave?” 

You give a soft smile. “Kiss for luck?” 

He’s gonna need it. 

[finelinefae]

safety [ceo!h x shy!reader]

synopsis: harry is always there to help bambi, always.

word count: 5.4k

contains: ceo!harry x assitant!y/n, deer!reader vibes, fluff, age gap (9 years), harry meets the family, crybaby reader lowkey

a/n: apologies for this taking so long. I've moved into university and switched courses within three weeks so I've had to do a lot of adjusting! But I hope you're doing well, thank you so so so much for all the love on the first part of bambi and being so patient with this part <333

this is part 2 of bambi, read part 1 here

. . .

Y/N sighed as she stepped into the living room, her heart sinking at the sight of her mother passed out on the couch. It was Friday night, and her mom was still in her work uniform, one shoe barely hanging from her foot while the other lay haphazardly across the room. A wave of frustration and sadness hit her hard. She had begged her mom to take the day off to watch the boys so she could go on her date with Harry tonight—the date she’d been looking forward to all week.

This was supposed to be their third date, just before she started working with him at Pleasing this weekend. Their last date had been simple—strolling hand in hand by the river, talking about everything and nothing. But tonight was different. Harry had told her to dress up; he had something important to ask her and was taking her somewhere special. Y/N had been buzzing with excitement ever since.

Glancing at her phone, she felt the sting of tears. Halfway through her makeup, she now realized it didn’t matter—she’d have to cancel. With her mother out cold and no babysitter available at such short notice, the responsibility fell on her. And it was ruining everything.

She opened Harry’s contact on her phone, staring at the little pink heart next to his name. Her thumb hovered over the call button as doubt crept in. What if he never wanted to see her again after this? Cancelling last minute was embarrassing, and she dreaded how angry or disappointed Harry might be.

Her thumb pressed down, the ringing growing louder with each second. Anxiety gnawed at her as she picked at the skin around her nails.

Suddenly, the call connected, and Harry’s voice, smooth and soothing like a lullaby, poured through the speaker. “Bambi? Was jus’ about to pick y’ up. You missin’ me already?”

Her lip trembled, and a tear slid down her cheek as she sniffled. “Harry…” Her voice cracked.

“Hey, what’s wrong, love?” Concern filled his voice instantly, and the warmth of it made her chest tighten.

“I-I can’t go on our date tonight,” she confessed, her voice shaky.

“What d’you mean? Don’t be silly, is something wrong?” His slight panic was clear, making her feel even worse.

“No, it’s not like that. It’s just… my mom came home late, and she’s, um, not able to watch the boys, so I have to stay and babysit. I’m really sorry, Harry. I wanted to go tonight, I swear. I understand if you’re mad or—if you never want to see me again—”

“Woah, woah, Bambi, baby, stop panickin’. I don’t hate you, not at all. It’s closer to the opposite, so calm down, yeah? ‘M not goin’ anywhere.”

“Okay,” she whispered, her voice still thick with emotion. “Y’promise?”

“Five pinkie swears, baby,” he chuckled softly, making her giggle through the tears. “It’s alright. These things happen. But are you okay? Need me to grab you anything? Have y’eaten today?”

His kindness made her heart swell. “N-No, but we’ve got stuff in the freezer I can heat up. Maybe we can reschedule?”

“Bambi, I’m already on my way to your house.”

Her breath hitched. “What? But, Harry, I can’t—”

“You think I’d let a little change of plans stop me from seein’ you? Been needin’ to see m’Bambi all day. How ‘bout this: you help your mum, and I’ll come by and make dinner for all of you. Sound good?”

Her heart skipped a beat. Was he real? Was he really this thoughtful, this willing to come over despite everything?

“Harry, you don’t have to—”

“I want to. Now, go get in some comfy pjs, and I’ll stop by the store to grab snacks. Maybe we can watch a movie later. Does that sound good?”

“Yeah,” she said, her voice lighter now. “That sounds perfect.”

“Alright, I’ll be over in thirty minutes. Take a deep breath for me, Bambi.”

Immediate relief washed over her at the idea of having an extra pair of hands to help her with something that she’d normally be left alone to and better yet it was Harry who was coming to help her. So, she did exactly that - breathe. 

. . . 

Y/N was pushing clothes into the washing machine when she heard the doorbell ring. Her heart skipped a beat or possibly maybe two when she heard it. She forced the door shut on the machine and walked to the front door. She frowned the closer she got when she could already hear Harry’s voice but that was soon followed by the voice of her younger brother. 

“I know jujitsu, you know,” Archie announced, his small five-foot frame blocking the doorway.

“You take classes?” Harry asked, bemused.

“No, I learned it on Roblox,” Archie replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“Oh, I don’t think I’ve heard of that one before. You’ll have to show me sometime,” Harry said with a grin.

Archie snorted. “You could just be saying that to get into our house and rob us.”

Y/N’s face heated with embarrassment as she approached the door, ushering Archie out of the way. Harry’s eyes lit up as soon as he saw her. “Y/N, this pizza delivery guy is trying to break into our house,” Archie said. Y/N looked to see Harry holding two pizza boxes and a plastic bag.

“Archie,” Y/N gasped, “this is not a pizza delivery man. This is Harry.”

Harry smiled, clearly trying not to laugh, and offered Archie a small wave. It did nothing to ease the suspicious look on Archie’s face. “Who’s Harry?”

Y/N froze, unsure of how to answer. Harry was both her boss and the man she was dating, but she couldn’t exactly explain that to her little brother. “He’s... my special friend.”

Archie looked between them for a moment, then shrugged and wandered off. Y/N’s shoulders sagged with relief as she turned to face Harry, who was still grinning at her. He looked incredibly handsome in his matching brown suit, his curly hair tousled in that familiar way. Her heart sank a little, knowing he had dressed up for their date.

“H-Harry, I’m really sorry—” she began, but before she could finish, Harry set the pizza boxes down and pulled her into a tight embrace. She breathed in the fruity scent of his cologne as he gently rubbed circles on her back.

“Bambi,” he murmured with a soft sigh, “I missed you.”

She smiled against his chest. “You just saw me the other day, and we FaceTimed last night.”

Harry pulled back slightly, cupping her cheeks with his large hands. “Kiss?”

Her cheeks flushed, as they always did when he asked for a kiss. She stood on her toes, meeting his lips, savouring the softness of his touch and the faint taste of peppermint from his lip balm. 

“Have you eaten yet?” he murmured against her lips. “I brought pizza.”

“You didn’t have to,” Y/N sighed softly. “I was just going to throw something in the oven.”

“Hey, Bambi.” She looked up, meeting his gaze already fixed on her. “I wanted to. I’m here to help, okay? Now, why don’t we eat this before it gets cold? You grab some plates, and I’ll set the table.”

“O-Oh, okay.” She nodded, a bit flustered. “Just so you know, my brothers can be… intense.”

Harry smiled, his expression easygoing. “It’s okay, I’ve got a niece. I’m sure they’ll be fine.”

Y/N led him into the living room where her little brothers were scattered. Archie sat in the corner, hunched over the computer, likely playing the game he had mentioned to Harry earlier.

“Who are you?” a small voice piped up. Harry glanced down to see a boy around six or seven, looking at him curiously.

“That’s Y/N’s special friend,” Archie chimed in without even turning around from his game.

“Weren’t you the guy making out with my sister the other night?” The eldest of the three boys, who looked about fourteen, spoke up from where he was watching TV. Despite his age, there was a maturity in his tone that caught Harry off guard.

Harry chuckled, feeling Y/N stiffen beside him. He gave the teenager a polite smile. “Well, I guess that’s one way to put it.”

“Sammy go and get the plates from the kitchen, Harry bought us pizza.” Sammy huffed, pausing the tv and doing exactly as his sister said. 

“Jack, can you grab an extra chair?” Y/N asked the youngest boy, her voice gentle but firm. Harry watched as the boys immediately followed their eldest sister’s instructions without question. A small pang tugged at his chest—part of him felt for her, having to shoulder the responsibility of looking after three growing boys. He didn’t know every detail of her family life, but seeing the way they interacted was enough to tell him they’d had to adapt quickly.

They all gathered around the table, two extra-large pizzas laid out in front of them. Harry chuckled at the sight of the boys eyeing the food like it was a rare treasure.

“Calm down,” he murmured with a grin, leaning close to Y/N. “Y’ so stiff, Bambi.”

Y/N blushed, fidgeting slightly. “Sorry, I just get so—”

“So?” Harry interrupted, smirking as he tried to coax her into a fluster. “So what, baby?”

“So nervous,” Y/N huffed, her cheeks burning as she realized he was toying with her.

A throat cleared from across the table, and Y/N suddenly felt three pairs of eyes locked onto them. Jack and Archie looked disgusted by the couple’s banter, while the eldest boy, Sammy, was glaring at Harry with an intensity that made Harry suppress a laugh.

“How old are you?” Sammy asked bluntly, his gaze sharp and protective.

Y/N choked on her drink. “Sammy! You can’t just ask people that—it’s rude!”

Harry chuckled, raising a hand to calm her. “No, it’s alright,” he said, amused. “I’m thirty.”

“Whoa, you’re old!” Archie blurted out, eyes wide with surprise.

“Archie!” Y/N gasped, mortified, while Jack burst out laughing.

“I guess it is kind of old,” Harry shrugged playfully, glancing at Y/N with a wink.

“Are you rich?” Sammy pressed, undeterred.

Y/N’s face flushed even more, praying the ground would open up and swallow her whole.

“I do well,” Harry replied, keeping his tone light. “I own a fashion company.”

“That means he’s rich,” Archie chimed in, eyes lighting up. “Do you have a sports car?”

Harry leaned forward, whispering conspiratorially, “I own three.”

Archie gasped, his face a picture of awe. “No wonder you can afford two extra-large pizzas!”

“If you think that’s cool, wait till you hear what else I brought,” Harry teased.

“Candy?” Archie’s eyes grew even wider, filled with excitement.

“Better.”

“Ice cream?”

Harry nodded. “Ice cream, candy, whipped cream, chocolate sprinkles... you name it.”

Archie looked as though he might pass out from pure joy. Sweets after dinner weren’t a common occurrence in their house unless it was a special occasion.

Harry’s smile softened as his eyes flicked to Sammy, who was still watching him with guarded suspicion. “What do you want from my sister?” Sammy finally asked, his tone sharp.

Y/N cringed, wishing she could disappear like Jack, who was contentedly munching on pizza, completely oblivious to the tension. Her cheeks were already burning before she’d even taken a bite.

Harry’s hand found its way to her knee under the table, a silent reassurance that he knew exactly how she was feeling without her having to say a word.

“It’s still early,” Harry said honestly, his gaze meeting Sammy’s without faltering. “But I really, really like your sister.”

Sammy seemed to relax at that, but not without a final warning. “You’re not allowed to like her as much as we do.”

Y/N’s heart squeezed at the words. Despite the challenges, the boys were her world, her best friends.

Harry smiled warmly, his voice sincere. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

. . .

"Y/N! Y/N! Y/N!" Archie came barreling into the kitchen, his face smeared with chocolate and whipped cream from the ice cream sundaes they’d made earlier. Y/N was bent over the washing machine, pulling out clothes to hang on the makeshift line by the window.

"Harry says he's gonna take us to the indoor waterpark in the city for my birthday! Isn't that awesome? And he beat Sammy's score on the new game he bought us!"

Y/N glanced up, smiling softly at Archie's excitement. The boys had been glued to the computer for hours after Harry surprised them with a game they’d been begging for. The sound of their wild laughter had echoed through the house all afternoon.

Footsteps approached the kitchen, and she looked up to see Harry standing in the doorway, a smirk tugging at his lips.

"Harry, I was just telling Y/N about the waterpark you’re taking us to," Archie said eagerly.

Harry’s eyes flicked to Y/N. "Ah, yes," he said, smiling at her. "I heard there’s a certain someone’s birthday coming up soon."

Archie's birthday was still a month away, and Y/N had only planned a simple celebration—movies, takeout, and cake. As Archie bolted from the kitchen, beaming about the waterpark, Y/N’s smile faded slightly.

Harry noticed the shift immediately. "What’s wrong?" he asked, stepping closer and reaching for her hand. "Did I mess something up?"

"N-no," Y/N replied quickly, shaking her head. "You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just... Archie's birthday isn’t for another month."

Harry raised an eyebrow. "So?"

Y/N hesitated, her words stumbling over themselves. "I just don’t want to make promises, you know, in case… I mean, what if…" She trailed off, struggling to find a way to express the growing anxiety in her chest. She adored Harry, more than she could articulate, but a part of her couldn’t help worrying about the future—the uncertainties that came with letting someone new into their lives.

"Bambi," Harry’s voice was soft as he cupped her face, his thumb brushing her cheek. "Where’d you go?"

She blinked, confused. "What do you mean?"

His lips quirked into a gentle smile. "Y’ do this thing where you space out, like your mind drifts off somewhere else ‘cause you're thinkin’ too much."

"I do that?" she asked, surprised.

"Mhm," he murmured, his thumb tracing the little furrow in her brow, the touch sending warmth through her. "I like you an awful lot, Bambi. I plan on stickin' around for a long time."

"You do?" Her voice was small, almost disbelieving.

"Yes, I do. And I really like your brothers—they’re a credit to you."

Y/N opened her mouth to deflect, as usual. "Oh, you mean my mom—"

"No," Harry interrupted gently, shaking his head. "I mean you."

Her lips parted in surprise, her eyes misting over. She hadn’t expected that. She hadn’t realized how much she needed to hear those words. Without thinking, she leaned up and pressed her lips to his, a kiss filled with the gratitude she couldn't quite express in words.

She was about to pull away, but Harry held her close, his hands gripping her hips as he deepened the kiss. His soft, warm lips made her head spin, and for a brief moment, the world around them disappeared.

That is, until Sammy’s voice rang out from the hallway. "I’m coming in, so you better not be swapping saliva in there!"

Harry broke the kiss with a chuckle, glancing over his shoulder. "Alright, alright, we’re behaving," he teased, winking at Y/N before moving to the sink. "Let me help you," he offered, turning on the faucet to start washing the dishes from dinner.

Y/N watched him for a moment, her heart swelling with warmth. The words he’d spoken earlier echoed in her mind—words that had already begun to feel familiar, but only when they came from him.

. . .

Y/N woke up the following morning, not from the alarm she’d set for 6 a.m., but from the rapid thumping of her heart. Anxiety rippled through her, making her stomach twist with nerves. Today was her first day working at Pleasing, her first day officially under Harry’s employment. She was excited, of course, but that didn’t stop the butterflies in her belly from multiplying.

She stared up at the ceiling for a few moments, taking slow breaths to calm herself. Her phone buzzed softly on the nightstand, and she reached over, her fingers trembling slightly as she opened the message.

Harry: Morning, Bambi 🌞 There’s a car on its way to pick you up. No need to stress, yeah? I’ll be waiting for you at the office. You’re gonna be amazing x

A small smile crept onto her face despite the nerves. Harry’s words were like a warm hug on a cold morning, making her feel just a little bit braver. She couldn’t help but appreciate how he seemed to know exactly what she needed to hear, right when she needed to hear it.

She quickly typed a reply, her fingers still shaky.

Y/N: Thank you. I’m a little nervous but I’ll do my best. See you soon 💕

Y/N got out of bed and went through her morning routine, trying to focus on each task to stop her mind from spiraling into all the things that could go wrong today. She picked out an outfit she hoped said “professional but approachable,” taking extra care to smooth out any creases in her clothes. When she was finally dressed, she checked the time—6:45 a.m.—the car Harry sent should be arriving any minute.

She stepped outside, the cool morning air doing little to ease her racing thoughts. Y/N wrapped her arms around herself, feeling a mix of excitement and apprehension. The street was quiet at this hour, and she couldn’t help but feel like the only person awake in the world.

Just then, a sleek black car pulled up in front of her, the driver rolling down the window with a friendly nod. "Y/N?" he asked, and she nodded in response.

“That’s me,” she said, her voice a little shaky. She climbed into the backseat, clutching her bag on her lap as the driver started the journey to the office. She stared out the window, watching the familiar streets blur by, and tried to give herself a little pep talk.

You can do this. You’re ready. Harry believes in you, so believe in yourself, too.

Her phone buzzed in her hand again, another message from Harry.

Harry: Also going on a coffee run, do you want anything? x

Bambi: Isn’t that my job today? x

Harry: It’s my job to take care of you everyday

Y/N didn’t realize how wide her smile had grown until she caught her reflection in the glassy screen of her phone. A soft blush crept onto her cheeks as she tried to compose herself, glancing out the window to distract from the giddy feeling bubbling inside her. She watched as the quiet suburbs melted into the bustle of the big city, her heart thudding against her ribcage. 

Slowly, the car pulled up outside Pleasing. The building was elegant, with an arched doorway and a clean awning that had the brand's name in bold letters. Through the large glass doors, Y/N could see a glimpse of the bright, stylish interior. Her heart pounded as the car came to a stop, her mouth opening with a desperate plea to leave, to turn back and retreat home where she could hide away—but then she saw Harry, and her words fell away for an entirely different reason.

She’d seen Harry in a suit before, but seeing him in full CEO mode was something else. He wore a flawless black-and-white suit, cufflinks gleaming at his wrists. His eyes were stern, his entire demeanor unshakeable—until he looked her way, and his whole form softened.

“You’re here,” His voice was warm and inviting. She wanted to leap into him and hide herself within him but she wanted to be professional.

She stood in front of him, not wanting to get any closer to her new boss, “Good morning, Mr Styles.”

The corner of Harry’s lips quirked, a hint of amusement in his eyes. “Good morning,” he replied, savoring her formality. He took a step closer, his gaze gentle yet focused. “Ready for today?”

“Y-yes,” She said but it wasn’t all that convincing.

Harry grabbed her hand, “You’ll be just fine Bambi.” He murmured the nickname just for her to hear. 

The warmth of his hand around hers steadied her, but it also set her pulse racing. His fingers intertwined with hers, and he kept their joined hands subtly hidden between them as they walked through the grand entrance and into the lobby. Y/N’s nerves started to quiet, replaced by a growing excitement.

As they stepped into the elevator, Harry’s thumb brushed gently over her knuckles. She looked up at him but his eyes were looking ahead. Her eyes fixated on his sharp jawline and smooth, freshly-shaven face; he looked even more polished, clean-cut and distinctly professional since she’d last seen him.

When they reached his office floor, Harry led her down a sleek corridor and into an airy, open workspace with views of the city skyline. The scent of fresh coffee lingered in the air, and a few team members looked up with welcoming smiles.

Just ahead, a woman in her mid-thirties with shoulder-length auburn hair and an easy smile approached them. Her professional but warm demeanor put Y/N at ease almost instantly. Harry released Y/N’s hand as he greeted her.

“Lindsey, this is Y/N,” he said, glancing between them. “She’s starting with us today. I thought you might help her settle in and get familiar with everything.”

Lindsey extended her hand warmly. “Oh is this-”

Harry’s gaze lingered on her with a slight, unreadable intensity, prompting Lindsey to pause mid-sentence. Then, noticing Y/N, she broke into a bright smile.

“Y/N! It’s so nice to meet you.” She laughed lightly, her eyes flicking to Harry with a teasing glint. “I have to admit, I’m a little curious why anyone would sign up to be his assistant—he can be a real pain most days.” She shot him a playful look. “But don’t worry, just don’t enter his office at midday - he can get real hangry.” 

Y/N giggled and Harry’s eyes brightened at the sound, ““Y/N,” he said, his voice warm, “you’re in very good hands.” He turned to Lindsey. “Make sure she gets a proper introduction to everything, but don’t overwhelm her.”

Lindsey chuckled. “I’ll keep it light for today, boss. We’d be here all day getting into your list of demands everyday.”

Harry rolled his eyes, and with a final look at Y/N, said, “I’ll see you later, then.” His words were simple, but the small smile he gave her was anything but. As he walked away, Y/N felt the anticipation return, wanting him to come back and be the one to show her around. She wasn’t the best with meeting new people. She was shy and nervous and fumbled over her words too often but Harry had great faith in her so she would try her best to do good. 

“Alright, let’s get started,” Lindsey said, gesturing to an open desk area near Harry’s office. “First things first—coffee? I’ll show you the best spot, and then we’ll make our way through the to-do list Harry sent this morning.” 

. . .

Y/N liked Lindsey a lot. 

She was funny and gentle. Whenever Y/N made a mistake—like earlier when she accidentally printed everything in pink instead of black and white—Lindsey would correct her kindly, reminding her that mistakes happen. Y/N wasn’t used to this kind of patience; her old boss would snap or hiss at even the smallest error. Here, it felt nice to breathe a little easier.

Lindsey spoke warmly about her two little boys, whom she cared for while her husband was away with the military. She had once been a stay-at-home mom, but over time, the isolation began to weigh on her; she craved more than just the role of mother and wanted to be out in the world, around people. When she applied to Pleasing, she’d explained her situation to Harry during her interview, and he had offered her flexible hours so she could still make it home to her boys each evening.

Whenever Lindsey mentioned the things Harry had done for her and her family, her voice would grow thick with emotion, and she spoke of him with genuine admiration. Y/N found herself thinking of her own circumstances and the way Harry had taken her under his wing, feeling a warmth for him settle in her chest.

“Okay, Harry’s in a meeting, so we need to bring in tea and coffee,” Lindsey said, heading over to a small rolling cart neatly stocked with cups, a teapot, and coffee supplies.

She guided Y/N through the arrangement, showing her how Harry liked his tea prepared. “He’s particular about the temperature—hot but not scalding,” Lindsey explained with a wink. “Don’t worry you’ll get the hang of things.”

Y/N carefully poured the tea, her hands steadying with each instruction Lindsey offered. They finished preparing the drinks, and Y/N took a deep breath, steadying herself as she reached for the cart handle.

“You’ll be fine,” Lindsey reassured her, offering a supportive smile. “Just go in, keep it simple, and make sure everyone has their drinks. You’ll be a natural at this in no time.”

“I’m going in alone?” Y/N’s eyes widened.

“It’s good practice,” Lindsey grins, “Good luck!”

Y/N squared her shoulders and pushed the cart toward the meeting room. The murmurs grew louder as she approached, but her nerves eased slightly upon catching Harry’s eye. His expression softened for a moment before returning to its professional coolness, a small signal just for her.

As she entered, she was met with the sight of a large glass table surrounded by men in sharp suits, all eyes shifting toward her. Taking a breath, she rolled the cart around and placed the cups in front of Harry and the others. Just as she reached for the teapot, a slight tremor ran through her hand, and she felt a sudden rush of panic.

In an instant, she lost her grip. The teapot tipped, sending hot tea spilling across the table and splattering onto a crisp white shirt belonging to one of the men. The room fell silent, and every gaze shifted from her to the angry figure, whose face flushed crimson.

““Watch where you’re going!” he barked, rising from his seat. “Do you even know how to serve properly?”

Y/N’s heart raced, the color draining from her face. Just as she opened her mouth to apologize, a surge of anger rippled through the room.

“Do you think it’s okay to talk to a woman like that?” Harry murmured, his voice laced with malice.

“She stained my shirt! She’s lucky I’m not making her pay for it,” the man continued, and Y/N could see the discomfort on the faces of the other attendees, their expressions telling her they knew he’d crossed a line.

Harry’s eyes darkened, a storm brewing behind them. He reached into his blazer pocket, pulling out a checkbook and a fountain pen. With swift strokes, he began to scribble before turning to Y/N. “Y/N, would you mind delivering this to Mr. Smith?”

Y/N nodded, her hands trembling slightly as she accepted the check, its weight feeling both significant and heavy.

Mr. Smith snatched the check from her hands, glancing down at it with a scowl. Written across the page was Harry’s signature alongside a mere fifty dollars. “Your final check—enough to cover the shirt, I assume? I think I saw the same one in the TK Maxx sale rack.”

“Final?” Mr. Smith asked, incredulous.

“Correct,” Harry replied nonchalantly.

Mr. Smith’s face burned bright red. He huffed, rising from his seat and storming out of the room, slamming the door behind him. The room fell silent. “Meeting adjourned,” Harry announced, and everyone flooded out, eager to escape the awkward tension.

Y/N stood in the corner, barely able to look up. Embarrassment washed over her; she wondered if she could do any job right. Her eyes watered as she bit down on her lip to keep from crying.

Suddenly, two polished shoes came into view, and big hands cupped her cheeks, gently forcing her to meet his gaze. “Are you okay?” Harry asked, concern etched on his face.

She wanted to say yes, to express pride in her efforts and how well she had handled the day, but instead, she wrapped her arms around him, burying her face into his shirt. “I feel like I can’t do anything right,” she admitted, her voice muffled.

Harry sighed, his arms encircling her as he rubbed the back of her head soothingly. “You did nothing wrong.”

“You can’t fire people because of me, Harry.”

“Don’t worry about him. We’ve wanted to get rid of him for ages—just a sexist prick. Turns out you’re a pretty good assistant for giving me an excuse to fire someone on the spot,” he chuckled lightly.

Y/N looked up at him, her heart fluttering as his hand held her cheek, his thumb brushing beneath her eye. “These eyes,” he whispered.

A smile broke through her sadness. “I’m sorry for ruining your meeting.”

“Don’t care, Bambi.” He was so much taller than her, nearly a foot difference, so he had to lean down to brush his nose against hers, their lips ghosting against each other. “You actually made it better.”

“I did?” she whispered, her mind suddenly forgetting the man who had yelled at her.

“Mhm,” he hummed, and then, gently, he pressed his lips to hers. The kiss was soft and lingering, sending a warm flutter through Y/N that chased away the remnants of her earlier embarrassment. She melted into the moment, her worries fading as Harry’s lips brushed against hers. 

“Okay, what the hell happened?” Lindsey barged into the room, causing Y/N to leap away from Harry, her cheeks flushing.

“Wow, Lindsey,” Harry said, rubbing a hand over his mouth, both of them flustered as Lindsey glanced between them. “Try knocking next time, yeah?”

“Since when have I ever needed to knock?” Lindsey shot back, her eyebrows knitting together as she assessed Y/N, whose face was now bright pink.

“Since now,” Harry replied. Clearing his throat, he added, “If you’ll excuse me…” He brushed past her, leaving the tension lingering in the air.

A laugh escaped Y/N’s lips, even as embarrassment tinged her cheeks; it was the first time she’d witnessed him so flustered. Lindsey arched an eyebrow, a teasing smile creeping onto her face. “So, are you two like…?”

“No,” Y/N replied, the denial tumbling out a bit too quickly.

Lindsey shot her a knowing look but chose not to press further. “Might want to let him know about that lipstick stain on his upper lip,” she added, rolling the cart out of the room and leaving Y/N feeling distinctly warm and flustered.

. . .

Harry kissed Y/N with the lights off on her front porch after dropping her home. Y/N melted against him, her fingers tangling in his hair as the kiss deepened. She felt a rush of warmth spread through her, the sweet taste of his breath mixing with the fresh night air. His hands found her waist, pulling her closer, their bodies fitting perfectly together. “Bambi,” He slurred against her lips.”

“Hm?” She hummed, unable to stop herself when she pulled him closer. 

“I was thinking,” He murmured, pulling away but his hands still firmly gripping her waist, “Maybe this weekend y’ could come to my place and stay the night.”

“The night?” She’d never had a sleepover before let alone one at a boys house. 

“Yeah… Would you be okay with that?” 

“Y-Yeah, I think so.”

“Y’ think so?” Harry grinned, “Are y’ sure?”

She smiled, “I’d like that.”

“Well, alright then,” he murmured, leaning down to place one last, soft kiss on her lips. “Goodnight, Bambi.”

“Goodnight, Harry.” Y/N barely suppressed a smile as she watched him walk to his car, a flutter in her chest as he turned back for a final wave.

Before she turned to step into her house, her phone buzzed and a text came through from Harry.

Harry: I think we have to get better at this whole sneaking around thing

Y/N: Tell yourself that, you kissed me first!

Harry: Can’t help it Bambi 

Harry: I’m obsessed with you

. . .

taglist ~~

@ravenclawmarvel @noididnotsignupforthis @comicalivy  @boomitsallie1 @hazzarules @squirreljoe @c3lline0 @harry2121 @lizsogolden @its-his-dimples @tchalametishot @youngpastafanmug @awritingtree @reidsblessing @idontcareforausernamesblog @madstyles3204 @cherrys4suckers @lomlolivia @tenaciousperfectionunknown

[roosterr]

if ur requests are open, could we have like 141 falling asleep on the reader??? like different scenarios for each of them like price falls asleep accidentally and so does ghost while gaz and soap are like cuddling or laying on the reader :) i love ur writing so much <333

the 141 falls asleep on you

wc: 2.1k

hello!!! been struggling to love my writing for like the last month so i really hope you enjoy, and i'm sorry in advance lol its mostly fluffy but i just couldn't help myself with a lil bit of angst :)

price

✹ when you hear the front door open in the middle of the night – or, technically, early morning – the first thought your sleep-addled mind comes up with is that you're being robbed.

✹ with your heart in your throat, you sit up in bed and stare wide-eyed at the bedroom door, but your fear is short lived when a dull thud meets your ears, followed by a familiar curse that has you breathing a sigh of relief.

✹ your husband, coming home at last from a night of drinking with the other members of the taskforce, presumably stubbing his toe on the sofa that hasn't moved an inch since you put it there all those years ago.

✹ with a deep yawn, you get back under the covers and let your eyes fall shut again, the knowledge that it was john downstairs and not a burglar putting your racing heart to rest.

✹ you don't react when he clumsily slips through the door, fighting the laugh that threatens to give you away when you hear him swear under his breath after bumping into yet another piece of furniture.

✹ the cold air sends goosebumps rippling across your skin when he lifts the covers to clamber in beside you, but the chill is quickly chased away by his hands bringing you into his chest and his enveloping warmth.

✹ "and what time do you call this?" you tease in a whisper, opening your eyes to see his guilty ones looking back at you. the slight flush in his cheeks and his half-lidded gaze gives him a boyish charm that you can't even pretend to be mad at.

✹ "sorry darlin', didn't mean to wake you..." he murmurs in return, a sheepish smile pulling at one side of his lips.

✹ "well, i'm glad you had a good time," you punctuate your reply by placing a light kiss on the bridge of his nose, which prompts his smile to grow wider as he hugs your body to his own.

✹ "i'm havin' a better time now, love." he ghosts his lips over yours as he whispers, earning another tiny chuckle from you, his fingers tracing patterns into the skin of your back under your shirt.

✹ you can smell the whisky on his breath as he leans even further into you, and taste it when he closes the distance to devour your lips in a passionate, if slightly messy, kiss.

✹ he sighs into your mouth, his lips falling from yours when he rolls you onto your back to lay his head on your chest, and like a switch, he's dead asleep.

✹ "john?" you whisper, in a sort of disbelief that he was actually asleep just like that, but he doesn't even flinch when you gently poke his cheek. "oh my god…"

✹ once the morning rolls around, you both share a laugh about his drunken state from the night before, and he makes you promise not to tell the boys he passed out in the middle of kissing you.

✹ you just laugh and file it away for future blackmail.

gaz

✹ the two of you were watching a movie late one night, the first time you've had time to yourselves in months thanks to the never-ending workload you both seem to be under.

✹ the dim mood lighting of your flat combined with the comforting feeling of finally being alone with kyle is nearly enough to send you to sleep already, but your want to spent time with him keeps you awake.

✹ kyle watches you stifle a yawn as he presses play on the movie, and tugs you to lean against him with an arm around your shoulders and a teasing grin. "promise you won't fall asleep this time?"

✹ you look up to him from where your head rests against his collar and huff, a smile of your own playing on your lips as you nudge him lightly with your elbow. "maybe i should be the one asking that."

✹ the bags under his eyes leave no question about how tired he really is, but he was the one that insisted the two of you spend time together tonight, despite the exhaustion you knew he was hiding.

✹ "and leave you all by yourself?" he chuckles, "never, love."

✹ a comfortable quiet settles over you while you watch the movie together; kyle's choice, something action-y you've never seen before, but you know he's seen it a million times. he occasionally adds commentary to make you laugh which he, naturally, manages to do every time.

✹ as the movie plays, you gradually migrate to laying on the sofa on your back with kyle between your legs and his head on your sternum. you absentmindedly run your nails over his scalp, gently massaging his head while he hugs your waist.

✹ it's about two-thirds of the way through the movie that you realise kyle hasn't said anything in a while. you pause your ministrations, smoothing over his curls as you turn your gaze from the screen to where he lays on top of you.

✹ a soft smile lights up your face when your eyes land on his blissfully relaxed features, sound asleep and breathing in time with the steady rise and fall of your chest.

✹ you continue to watch the movie in silence, occasionally petting kyle's hair when he grumbles in his sleep. he deserves the rest, you muse, and something about how peaceful he looks means you can't even entertain the idea of disturbing him. and you would definitely tease him that he fell asleep like he said he wouldn't.

✹ even once the movie has finished, and your back has started to ache from the position against the armrest, you still don't dare wake him. tomorrow was an off day for both of you, so there was no need to go anywhere – as if you would ever want to, intertwined with your boyfriend and surrounded by his warmth.

✹ you close your eyes, give him one last squeeze, and whisper into the silence, "sweet dreams, kyle."

soap

✹ it wasn't supposed to happen like this.

✹ everything was supposed to go smoothly, you'd get what you came for, and you'd be home in time for dinner.

✹ but it hadn't happened like that  of course it didn't. you were on your way out, with johnny by your side, when a sudden noise from behind you caught your attention.

✹ you spin around to see a dishevelled soldier aiming their gun at you, but you noticed just a second too late. you can do little more than watch as they pull the trigger, a sick sense of horror travelling up your spine as time seems to slow down.

✹ there's a split second where you brace to feel the bullet lodge somewhere in your body, but that impact never comes.

✹ with a speed you didn't know he possessed, johnny tackles you to the ground and out of the path of the bullet, landing on top of you and pushing the air from your lungs.

✹ you lay winded underneath him, the sound of him returning fire vaguely reaching your ears but it takes a second for your mind to catch up.

✹ it’s quiet by the time you come back to your senses, johnny already pulling you to stand with a strained grunt.

✹ "johnny?" you frown, taking note of how he favours one side when he urges you to start walking again, "you okay?"

✹ "fine, darlin’, let’s just–" he winces, stumbling ever so slightly and trying to play it off by pushing you in front of him, "let’s just get home, aye?"

✹ your frown deepens. you turn around and stop him with your hands on his shoulders, and it's then that you notice how laboured his breathing has become.

✹ "you're not fine, soap!" your heart sinks as you watch the patches of blood on his leg grow steadily darker, "why didn't you tell me you were hit?"

✹ he doesn't flinch at the anger in your voice, or when you haul his arm over your shoulder and resume dragging him the rest of the way to the helo. he mumbles incoherent that sounds like an apology, but your only focus is getting him to safety and stopping the bleeding.

✹ the others are already waiting for you as the exfil site comes into view, and the moment they spot you shouldering johnny's weight they spring into action to help you.

✹ johnny is dragged up the ramp and made to lay on the floor as gaz and ghost make short work of packing the bullet wound in his thigh with gauze.

✹ you lift his shoulders and head to rest in your lap, grimacing at the pained groans he lets out when ghost puts his weight on the wound.

✹ "why didn't you tell me?" you utter, tilting his head back with your hands on his cheeks and meeting his distant gaze with your brows knitted together in concern.

✹ he musters a weak smile and lets his eyes flutter shut, the muscles in his face visibly relax. "i’m fine… ‘slong as yer okay, bonnie…"

ghost

✹ sometimes you wondered if ghost ever slept.

✹ he would always volunteer himself for the first watch, and he was up before you without fail every morning. on base he always seemed to be in the gym before everyone, and in his office after everyone else has left. he was frustratingly elusive.

✹ it worried you, that perhaps he had trouble sleeping. it made sense, however saddening, that someone like him wouldn't sleep well, but it was even worse that he brushed off your concern for him with practised ease.

✹ he made sure to take care of others, but wouldn't let you try and do the same for him. perhaps he thought you were joking, or that you were only being courteous, but your mind always goes back to one thing; the theory that, for some people, it's only possible for them to fall asleep when they feel safe.

✹ you wanted to be that for him, like he was for you.

✹ you do your best to forget about your rejected concerns for him, and the thought all but slips your mind until a mission two months later.

✹ it was long, drawn-out, and gruelling, and all you wanted to do was get home and have a shower hot enough to melt your skin. it had been almost a week since you've had a moment to catch your breath, and you were more than thankful to be on the way home.

✹ even if that meant being squashed into the back of an suv with soap passed out on your left and ghost on your right. gaz called shotgun and wouldn't give it up for anything, so here you were, shoulder to shoulder with the lieutenant you may or may not harbour feelings for.

✹ the five of you have been on the road for a couple of hours now. the conversation has died down by now and and the quiet hum of the radio was the only sound, besides soap's intermittent snores.

✹ you're on the verge of passing out yourself when a weight drops onto your shoulder, and you have to fight yourself not to jump with the start it gives you.

✹ your tired eyes look to the source and to your utter surprise, they find the dark fabric of ghost's balaclava resting against you, and when you tilt your head you can see the blond of his eyelashes against his cheeks.

✹ the sight brings a smile to your face. as subtle as possible, you shift as much as the limited space of the backseat will allow so his neck isn't bent at such an awkward angle.

✹ he fell asleep on you. perhaps it was just because of the exhaustion this mission left him with, but you like to think back on your theory from weeks ago as you admire the restful expression he wears.

✹ your stop fighting your own exhaustion and let your eyes fall shut, and with your last thread of consciousness you file this memory away for later, and hope that it really does mean that he feels safe with you.

[sunnysidevans]

Someone Like You - J.Seresin

Summary: Being best friends with a naval aviator was hard, being best friends and in love with the Jake "Hangman" Seresin was even harder.

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Medic!Reader

Warnings: 18+, fluff, there is a small bit of angst, jake kind of bein douche, best friends to lovers troupe because top tier, oblivous by both parties.(if i missed any lemme know)

The request: If you're open to requests, I have one for you! It could be about Tyler, Jake, or Glen—whichever you prefer. The story would revolve around them being very close friends, but he’s always surrounded by girls. The reader begins to pull away, feeling inadequate or thinking she's not pretty enough, believing he could never see her as more than just a friend. I’d love for it to have a sweet, fluffy ending!

authors note: to the anon who requested this, thank you! I hope i have done justice to what you envisioned! - I really love getting requests because ya'll got some great ideas! If you have requested something, I promise i will get to it!! love, em. <333

The sun was sat snugly high in the blue sky. Sitting under the rays, you watched the group of aviators run through the sand covered in sweat. Sitting perched on the towel and sunglasses on your nose.

You never expected this to be your life after moving from your hometown to be a field medic with a group of aviators.

“You done sunbathing?” you look up behind the aviators to the man above you, blocking the sun from your eyes.

Jake Seresin in all his glory, hands on his hips.

“Can I help you?” pulling the sunglasses down your nose, you look at him over the rims with a raised brow. He chuckles, pushing the hair that was sticking to his forehead back.

He has been on leave for the last two weeks, letting his hair grow out of regs. "Are you done crisping like a chicken and gonna come play a game?” He holds his hand to you, which you take happily and he pulls you from the sand with a grunt.

“I don’t know if I should” you push the bridge of the sunglasses back up your nose. “What?! You are playing c’mon” he encourages you over, jogging ahead of you in the sand.

You watch as the rest of the the dagger squad who has been nothing but kind to you, encourage you. Then there's the group of aviators who were glued to the squad, more so Jake than others.

They giggle between themselves. You never knew joining the Navy was gonna have the same effects of highschool.

“(y/n)!” Jake’s voice pulls you from your thoughts, a grin on his face. “C’mon! One game!?” he pouts, hands on his hips. You sigh and make your way down the sand, pulling the shorts on your body to cover your bikini bottoms.

The dagger squad was your adopted family. You met them all in your time on the ships as a field medic but as well as at base when Jake made his way into your office quite often to get ‘looked at’.

“Dude! I had no idea you were this good at this” Phoenix wraps her arm around your shoulders as you walk back to your things with a giggle. “I blame Hangman for hiding you from us” you smile, grabbing your towel and bag of items and standing back to your full height.

Turning to say something, your thoughts run short as the girls again circle around Jake, hands on his arms as they all giggle.

He did have the million dollar smile.

“You coming to the hard deck with us?” Bradley asks, standing beside phoenix. You turn to the taller man, smiling up at him as you shake your head. “I return back to work tomorrow unlike some people” you chuckle, nudging him gently.

He nods, hands held up in defense as you smile. “See you soon though?” he asks as you are walking up the sand, you grin. “Of course! Someones bound to get hurt” you wink, making your way back to your own vehicle.

“Sweetheart!” you sigh, the southern drawl was almost like a vice around your brain. Setting your items in the back of your Jeep, you turn to face him. “You aren’t coming?” he asks, stopping in front of you,panting to catch his breath. You shake your head, “I have to work tomorrow captain”. He smirks, pushing a hair out of your face gently.

“Not even for one drink?” he asks as you shake your head. “No but I will be up to pick you up if you need me” he chuckles, leaning down to kiss your cheek as he jogs over to his truck.

Ally, another pilot in Top gun standing at the passenger side was waiting for him. “See you later sweetheart!” he waves.

Sighing heavily you climb into your jeep, immediately turning the radio up loudly and driving away.

You knew you were not the only woman in Jake’s life. He was charming with his green eyes and winning smile but everytime you would do anything with him, the woman gravitated to him like he was the opposite end of their magnets.

Driving through the city, your heart hurt a bit. You knew how childish it seemed.

How childish it was to be upset that he had the female gaze, he was tall, tan and kind under his hundred layers of ego. As you made your way into your home, the phone in your hand vibrated.

Jake: Let’s get together this week for dinner? Drinks?

you smile sadly at the text. You knew he enjoyed your company. You replied.

you: Sure Jake, sounds good

The text bubble appeared but you chose for your own mental state it was best to mute the conversation for the time being.

3am on the dot your phone rang.

You knew who was on the other line. Reaching over, you grab the phone off the nightstand. “Hello?” you mumble, rubbing your eyes. “(y/n)” you sigh at the sound of Bradleys voice.

“Hey roo” you mumble, eyes closed as you pinch the bridge of your nose. “I think you should come get Jake… maybe me too?” he questions as you chuckle softly. “Be there shortly” you hang up and climb out of bed.

Grabbing the closest sweatshirt to you and make your way outside and down to the hard deck. Dressed in your pajamas, you make your way inside the bar, still roaring with life even on a Sunday night.

Jake and Bradley sat at the bar with Penny who grins at your arrival. “Cute” she mumbles as you shake your head, making your way to them.

“Let’s go boys” you pat both of their shoulders, encouraging them out the door. “Is that my sweatshirt?” Jake questions as you look down at the hoodie on your body.

“Yes it is, let's go” you motion to the door. “Jakey!” Ally gasps, running to Jake at the door. You can’t help the way you cringe, pulling some cash out of your pocket. “How much do the two of them owe?” you ask Penny who shakes her head.

“They’ll both come and pay tomorrow, I trust it” you sigh, smiling at her. “I gotta go” you can hear the faint slur in Jake’s voice. “But i thought we were gonna have some fun” she bites her lip, looking up at him through her lashes, in her drunken state attempting to look as sexy and sultry as possible.

Jake shakes his head and makes his way out the door. You follow both men out to your parked Jeep as Lindsey stares daggers into your back.

The car ride is silent except for the wind. You pulled into Bradleys apartment first, parking right by the steps, he climbs out.

“Thanks love, you’re the best” he reaches in to kiss your cheek as he makes his way up the steps. “Hey!” Jake scolds him as Bradley smirks and makes his way to his apartment. “Can I move to the front now?” Jake asks childishly. “Yes Jakob” you sigh with a smile.

He climbs out and makes his way into the front seat beside you as you pull out of the parking lot and make your way down the road to Jake’s apartment. “Thanks for coming to get me honey” he whispers, his slur is almost gone at this point. “You’re welcome” you mumble, rubbing your eyes with a yawn.

“I’m sorry I did this to you” he mumbles as you shake your head. “I’d rather you be safe” you mumble.

“Why don’t you like to come get drinks with me anymore?” his drunk words flow out of him like vomit.

“I just don’t enjoy it much anymore, J” he nods slowly.

He knew you were lying but chose not to pry anymore while you were tired. “Can I come home with you?” he asks. Jake was quite needy in his semi-drunken state.

He did live down the road from you and did frequent your guest room often, hence his hoodie laying around your home. “I guess” you smirk, making the turn to your own home over Jakes.

He stumbles inside once the vehicle is parked. He was mostly sobered up as he made his way to the guest room. “See you in a few hours” he mumbles as you shake your head and make your way to your own bedroom.

The guest bedroom door opens, Jake makes his way out in a pair of black sweatpants he had left in the dresser drawer. "Sweetheart?" he questions as he yawns, making his way down the steps. He stops at the end of the stairs, looking around.

He notices the fresh smell of coffee and the few dishes in the sink. He jogs back up the stairs to see your bedroom door open, looking around its then he notices the pink note stuck to his door. Pulling it off the door, he sighs.

off to work, lock up on your way out.

+

The hard deck jukebox could be heard from streets away, it left you grinning. You pull into the parking lot, The Eagles “Life in the fastlane” playing through the speakers.

You don’t know how Rooster and Phoenix talked you into this but you climbed out and made your way inside. Dressed in a tank top and pair of denim shorts you look through the crowd for your favorite aviators.

“Sweetheart!” Jake’s voice yells for you, you look up at the sound of his voice. He pushes through the crowd of people to get to you.

He's singing to you as he approaches, "and she was terminally pretty" he grins, looking you up and down, “I didn’t know you were coming,” he smiles.

You looked so beautiful.

“Uh-yeah rooster and nat invited me” you smile up at him and move past him to your friends. Phoenix was aware of your feelings for Jake.

How hard it was to be out with him as he was always surround by woman, not once looking your way with them around. “Roo” you smile, patting his shoulder as he pulls you into his side for a hug.

“There's my favorite medic!” he grins as you chuckle. Jake makes his way back over to the group, sitting down as Ally makes her way to him, climbing in his lap.

He doesn’t hesitate to let her, adjusting in the seat to accommodate her. You sigh, turning to face Phoenix and Rooster.

“I don’t get it” you raise a brow, looking up from the table at the sound of Phoenix's voice. “What’s that?” you ask, crossing your leg over the other and arms over your chest.

“He acts like he wants to be around you so badly and then acts like that” she motions over to Jake, sitting back in his chair arm around Ally's waist, her group of friends around the two of them. You shrug, “not my problem anymore” you mumble, fishing out a few bills from your back pocket.

“I'm sorry to be a buzzkill but, thanks for inviting me guys but I think I’m gonna head home” you hand them the money to cover your drink and stand from the booth. Rooster stands, hands on your shoulders. “You don’t deserve him” he mumbles, giving your shoulder a squeeze and pulling you into a hug.

You hug him back and sigh heavily. “I guess I just have to get under a guy, they say that's the best way to get over one” you mumble against his chest as he laughs.

“See, that's the spirit” he grins, smiling at you. “Let us know if you need anything” he encourages as you smile.

It had been a week since your night at the hard deck with rooster and phoenix

a week before you decided it was best to put your distance between you and Jake.

The phone beside you began ringing. You knew exactly who it was. Reaching over you ignore the call for the second time and

Within seconds the phone rings again. You reach over and turn the phone off completely.

You did not have the energy to go and pick him up once again.

Maybe you would get over the man that is Jake Seresin.

rolling over and burying yourself deeper in the sheets of your bed, tears in your lash line as you sniffle to avoid them from falling.

You felt silly being this upset about a man who was not yours to be upset about.

You knew that he was a charming man when the two of you became friends, you also knew he looked at you as just that, a friend.

You shake your head and close your eyes.

The next morning as you turned your phone back on, the text messages piled in.

24 missed calls and 45 text messages.

You sigh and choose to delete the text messages and mute the conversation you have with him once again.

The drive to base was peaceful as you pulled into your designated parking lot. You were not gonna let this affect your work. “(y/n)!” you look over at Coyote waving to you,smiling, you wave back and mock salute to him.

He smiles, saluting back to you as he makes his way inside. Making your way to your office, you ignore the urge to turn and go down the hall to where you knew the dagger squad was meeting.

Jake sits down beside Rooster and Phoenix.

If looks could kill the two of them would be long gone.

“Can I help you?” Phoenix speaks first, arms crossed. “Spill” he adjusts in the seat, elbows resting on his knees as he looks between the two of them. “Spill what Hangman?” Rooster asks,looking over at him from his phone.

“Why won’t (y/n) talk to me” he mumbles, looking between them again. “Isn’t that a question for her?” Phoenix asks with a raised brow.

“I tried, I called her over a hundred times last night with no response” he defends as Phoenix shrugs. “I don’t know what to tell you Hangman” Rooster nods in agreement with his girlfriend and Jake sighs heavily and stands from the chair. 

“(y/l/n)” turning at the sound of your name,clipboard in hand you raise your brow. “Yes ma’am” you set the clipboard down and approach your commanding officer. “We are going to need you to go out and assist in the atlantic” you nod quickly, “of course ma’am” she grins, reaching out to give your shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

“I know you don’t love being tied down to one place too long” she smirks, heading to the door, “you will be heading out in the morning” you nod eagerly, ”and a car will be picking you up” she smiles with a nod and walks out the door.

You take a deep breath and wipe your once sweaty palms on your pants. You knew you needed to tell the dagger squad.

With a deep breath you head down the hall to the common room.

“Hangman, where are you?!” you can hear Fanboys voice over the comms. You knock gently on the door, Coyote,Phoenix,Rooster and Bob all turn to you.

“Hi” you wave as you make your way into them, sitting down beside Phoenix. Her face is full of concern, “what is it?” she asks as you turn to your closest friends.

“I’m being sent out tomorrow morning, they need additional medics out in the atlantic, of course I don’t know the full extent” you look at them, not seeing Jake standing in the doorway, panting.

“You’re leaving?” your eyes snap to Jake.

He’s still in his flight suit, the top half around his waist with his black tank top sticking to his skin. You turn from his eye back to Phoenix and Bob.

The two of them smile, nodding slowly. “We should go to the hard deck and have a send off party!” Coyote tries to lighten the mood, immediately noticing the tension in the room.

“I agree” Rooster chimes in, looking over at you. You smile sadly, “if you guys want I suppose” they cheer as you stand.

Jake hasn’t moved from the doorway, watching you. He watched the way you avoided his eye.

Walking out of the room, you brush Jake’s shoulder as you begin to walk down the hall to your office. You bit your lip as you heard his boots follow, you knew you couldn’t escape him anymore.

“(y/n)!” he reaches out, grabbing your shoulder to stop your movements. “What Jake?” you ask, turning to face him tilting your head. “What do you mean what?!” he defends, looking at you.

“You haven’t talked to me in days!” He throws his hands up, “not even days, weeks! You won’t answer my calls, you won't answer my text messages, you ignore me when you see me at work or even out in public!” he defends as his hands fall at his sides.

“Explain it to me!” he adds, hands on his hips as he looks over your face. “I’ve not been ignoring you” you whisper, looking up at him through your lashes, “bullshit” he sits.

You sigh, hands on your own hips as you see conference room doors open and close. You knew his voice was traveling through the base.

“Not here Jake” you sigh softly, walking down the hall towards your office. “Explain it to me here (y/n)!” he yells.

You close your eyes, feeling the tears begin to fall down your cheeks. 

You knew you shouldn’t have this conversation in the hallway of your place of employment. You can hear his boots approaching, you snap.

“Because I love you!” you yell back to face him, face red with tears. “I love you and I know you wouldn’t love someone like me!” you point to your chest looking at him as the tears begin to roll down your cheeks.

“I am not them!” you point out the window to Ally and the rest of the new top gun recruits on the tarmac. “I am not tall and sexy and-” Jake stands there, shocked at your reaction.

“You wouldn’t love someone like me! You-You- I am not Jake Seresin material and I can’t take you staying in my house anymore and I can’t take you being around me anymore because I knew” you sob, looking away from him.

“Distancing myself was going to help my heart get over you” you whisper turning around from him.

“This time away may be best for me” Jake's boots squeak along the concrete floors. “(y/n)” he whispers, he’s directly behind you now. Your shoulders shake, months of tension falling off your shoulders.

He reaches out, grabbing your shoulder to gently turn you back to face him, cupping your cheek to gently bring your eyes back to him. He’s also got tears rolling down his cheeks.

“Someone like you?” he whispers, looking over your face. “Someone who I have seen devote her life to others? Someone who I absolutely adore, who would spring to help anyone even at 3am after a drunk night at the bar. Someone like you” he chuckles, shaking his head. “I’m not them Jake” you whisper as he shakes head, “and that’s what makes you so special” he reaches over and wipes your cheeks with his thumb.

“I love you (y/n)” he chuckles, shaking his head. “I can’t believe you couldn’t see it” he chuckles as you look at him.

“Me!?” you defend as he grins. “I adore you, I fell in love with you years ago sweetheart” he watches the look in your eye, watching as you look at him, looking into the green eyes that brought you so much comfort.

“Y-You love me?” you look over his face for any signs of a joke, he chuckles. “I love you, not them other girls, not anyone but you” he smiles, leaning down to connect your lips. 

It takes you a moment to register what is happening by the time you are reaching up to wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him in closer to you.

He pulls away slowly after a few minutes, nose nudging yours as his eyes close. “I can’t believe you” he whispers, “thinking I couldn’t love someone like you”  your eyes close, a small smile on your lips.

“I am not someone you’d go for J” you whisper with a smile as he shakes his head, pulling you into his chest. Wrapping your arms around his waist you sniffle against his black tank top.

“This is horrible timing” you mumble.

“I’ll be here when you get back sweetheart” he whispers against your hairline. 

+

The helicopter ride was quiet. The voices in your mind were louder.

You smile as the base comes into view, “we’re almost home” the pilot, Maria grins at you through her aviators.

You were off base for three months, sharing letters and as many zoom phone calls as possible with Jake and the rest of the dagger squad.

The tarmac is laid out as the helicopter begins its descent. You pull the headset off and stand, leaning out the side of the helicopter, hands holding the handles. The smell of the ocean brought you a sense of comfort.

You knew the minute you laid eyes on Jake and your family, you would be home. You can hear cheering from the ground as the chopper finally lands. Climbing down, you stand on the pavement and take a deep breath.

You were home.

The doors opened and the dagger squad all rushed out. “She’s home!” Rooster yells with a smile on his face. You grin, standing on the big x. This was your family.

Ally and her group of friends follow Jake out of the doors.

Your eyes fall to each other as she continues to attempt to grab onto his arm. “Scuse me” he moves from her and begins his jog to you.

You meet him halfway and he grabs you by the waist and spins your around, holding you close to his body. You laugh, wrapping your arms around his neck, hiding your face in his shoulder. “My girl is home!” he grins, setting you to your feet.

“Welcome home sweet girl he grins, leaning down to connect your lips.

Maybe someone like you deserves someone like him.

--

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