Hi again! Hope you've been doing okay!
First off I just wanna say that you always deliver, I mean "Fall Unto Me"?? Four part+an epilogue of me being torn between wanting to baul my eyes out and wanting to melt into a puddle from the feels :')
But as for the request, could I ask for Angel and [REDACTED] redecorating his appartment? Getting rid of the gaudy furniture once and for all!
Don't forget to drink water and take breaks whenever you need to! My brain is also 105% filled with this skrunkly but the trick is to keep two neurons in a cell reserved for this >:] /silly
HEHE I’ve been ok! Hope you are too!! <3 thank u for appreciating my (deranged) brainrotting fic c: the suffering is my favorite part. I’m drinking lots of water cause summer hates my ass. 💖 Also sorry this is long I am clearly not winning at the "be normal" challenge.
14 Days With You is an 18+ Yandere Visual Novel. MINORS DNI
💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤
Redecorating
“This one?”
The dark haired man peered at the laptop in your hands for a long moment. “It's… nice.”
“Yes…? You called the last three couches nice, too. Any other thoughts?” You gently goaded your partner.
Choosing new furniture with [REDACTED] was supposed to be easy. You'd pick something, and he'd agree. Except you wanted it to feel like home for both of you. He didn't have to say the mushy, obvious line: as long as you were there, it was home. So progress was challenging with some things. You were sitting together on the current couch—the ugly, lifeless one that came with his apartment for some reason.
His brow crinkled as he searched for different words. Those soft blue eyes went back and forth across the screen until he said, “It’s cozy yet functional.”
“Did you just summarize the description to me?”
He confessed to the crime with a sigh. “Angel, all I think when I look at it is you. And how cute you'd look sitting on it. Like y’do right now.”
“I'm always cute. Focus on the couch, please. Not me,” you insisted.
“No promises.”
“Let's see…” You had to find some way to get through to them. An idea came to mind that you knew he wouldn't like very much, but you had to try. “Pretend we're not dating. Or maybe I don't exist? You come home—don't make that face! I said pretend—so, you come home after a very terrible day and you see this couch. Is it nice then?”
[REDACTED] still made that face as he answered you. “Annoying as fuck to clean.”
It was progress. You didn't want to dwell on why that would be what they thought about after getting home. “Did the first one I showed you seem annoying to clean?”
“Mm... a bit.” They reached forward to change the webpage back for another look. “Y’never showed me these.”
You leaned over to see what he was talking about. There were a few humongous bean bag chairs on the furniture wish list you’d made. “I just thought they looked fun to take a nap in. But I’m not sure we’d both fit, so it’d be silly," you explained and tapped the mouse to continue skimming through your other selections. “We can think about the couch later. I found some wall art that doesn’t look like it came from a dentist’s office.”
His eyes carefully followed the scrolling page until the bean bags disappeared at the bottom of the screen, but he didn’t protest.
💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤
The new furniture had arrived—and been efficiently assembled by your boyfriend, despite your protest—while you were at the library, so you were excited to get home. [REDACTED] held one hand over your eyes as he unlocked the apartment’s door.
“I already know what all the furniture looks like, Ren.” Even so, you didn’t wave their hand away.
You could hear the door click as he guided you into the foyer. “I may have added a few extra things,” he hummed while you blindly struggled and failed to take off your shoes. ��Actually… close your eyes f’me.”
“O—kayy?!” Just as you closed your eyes the floor slipped away under you, replaced by familiar arms cradling you to their chest. His quiet footsteps barely echoed against the marble as you got your wits about you. The living room wasn’t that far, so you were certain where he took you without seeing anything. You just didn’t know where exactly in the room.
They turned and came to a stop, rooted in place for a moment as if thinking to themself. “Y’gonna scream if I drop you?”
“...Yes. Maybe.”
Without another word he let go. There wasn’t enough time to scream as you immediately landed against plush fabric with the faint crinkle of something below it. The fabric crinkled some more as you felt your shoes being taken off.
“Can I open my eyes yet?” you asked. You could already tell what one of the ‘extra things’ was. It felt like heaven.
“Sure, love.” Their voice was a little farther away than you expected. Probably from hurrying to put your shoes in the closet.
You found yourself nestled on one side of the room, with a perfect view of his handiwork.
A couch that was easy to clean, in a color you insisted he decide on, draped with a luxurious looking blanket that wasn’t in your list. A coffee table with rounded corners so they wouldn’t keep hitting their leg on it. Some wall art of Attack on Giants—with extra pieces from a show you sort of recognized, but definitely suited the man's tastes. A few shelves to show off merchandise from another of your favorites. And the enormous, navy blue bean bag he’d so rudely dropped you in moments ago.
Your darling hacker stepped in from the foyer and tossed their hoodie onto the new couch. “Everything good?” he asked, piercings pulling up in a smile.
“I think I love it.” Your eyes scanned the room again and eventually landed on the pictures. “And I love that you added your own stuff.” It didn’t seem to be a clone of your apartment that he just happened to live in, like you worried about. “What about you?”
“S’better than before. ‘Course, the best part is that I don’t have t’see some shitty couch when I open the door—I get to come home to you, trapped in a bean bag.” He stood up and walked over, eyeing you playfully from above. “Comfortable?”
You nodded, then immediately yelped when he fell forwards. Just before you were squished, he caught himself on tattooed arms, caging you in the crinkly, soft material. You only felt some of their weight on you like a heavy blanket. A soft laugh slipped past your lips as he got comfortable himself, clinging to you as best he could while you both sank further into the depths of the bean bag. It’d be impossible to get out.
You wiggled your legs, straining to even find the damn floor. No doubt a futile effort, you had to sigh, “At least we both fit on it."
[REDACTED] didn’t speak, already yawning from the exhaustion of setting everything up before meeting you at work. The walk to and from the library certainly didn’t do him any favors, either. In a matter of seconds, he was fast asleep in what surely felt akin to a nest, all four lanky limbs wrapped around you like a snake.
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Death By Bagel
NCT
Culinary Student!Mark Lee x Fashion Design Student!Reader
Summary: Mark makes a cake cause he's realized he can't lose you to some f-boy.
Word Count: 3k+
Warnings: Fluff, childhood au, college au, slowish burn, slight cursing, reallllly fluffy, some broksi-dude action, typos sksksksks, etc.
R E Q U E S T
my friend: mark lee, slow burn, friends to lovers
A/N: I wrote a fic that already had like 1k+ word then I LOST IT (i think i deleted it) thus this. It took me 10 years to write this msmsmkskskks. PLEASE TUMBLR IS MESSING WITH ME AND MIXED UP THE ORDER OF SOME OF THE DIALOGUE
“As a doctor, I don’t think you should be doing that,” Mark says, not even bothering to look at his patient seated rudely on the floor. Oop, he’s lying down now.
Mark huffs and looks up from the clay block he was molding on his tray, “YOU’RE SO UNPROFESSIONAL!”
Mark’s mother nearly spits out her coffee upon hearing the words of his five-year-old son. Her husband snorts, “He got that from you.”
The woman throws a look at the man and was supposed to give a snarky retort, up until the sound of the doorbell ringing. She grins from ear-to-ear and dashes to get the door.
When she comes back to the living room, she’s accompanies by another woman and a tiny version of her.
“Markie! Say hello to your Auntie!” Mark’s mom calls.
Mark from the carpeted floor looks up and blinks, examining the stranger-woman and its human-ling. Mark turns to his father who was sat on the couch and receives a nod of approval almost. Mark purses his lips and waves at the woman.
The woman waves back and then crouches down to the little girl, “Baby, say hello to Mark.”
Unwilling, she shakes her head.
“Aw come on, baby. Don’t be shy. Mark over there is a really sweet boy. I knew him when he was in his mommy’s tummy, just like Mark’s mom knew you when you were in mine. You’re the same age so you’ll get along just fine.”
With the unnecessary explanation that gave no justification to the scene whatsoever out of the way, the girl was fooled into peeping up, “Hi, Mark.”
“Hello,” Mark says, not particularly interested, as his patient was still in the midst of dying in his office. He turned to his stuffed toy called Mr. Lion and attempted to stand him up once more.
At this point, the girl makes her way to Mark.
“We’ll be back in two hours, honey. Keep an eye on the children,” Mrs. Lee tells his husband who had been occupied with TV the entire time.
“Yeah. I got this,” he smiles to his wife then goes back to watching.
The bumble bee clad figure sat down to Mark in blue and watched him play.
Mark ignored her for a few seconds, needing to assert all efforts on standing that dumb toy up. Once successful, Mark turns to her, “Do you play doctors?”
Mark was then met with the same lack on enthusiasm. She hums, “I like playing baker doctor.”
All at once, Mark gasps, “ME TOO!”
It was unbeknownst to the children it was oddly specific and the chance of this happening was pretty slim.
And in a blink of an eye, excited giggles erupt in the room, as if they had been having so much fun before this scene. It was here and there the two would become best friends to the very end.
... so I guess it means the reckoning is upon us.
“MARK LEE I SWEAR TO THE FU--” “WHAT! WHAT!?” Mark laughs.
"YOU ATE MY BAGEL! AGAIN!" I growl in a loud whisper, throwing the wrapper at him and his flat head before he could think to dodge it while he annoyingly laughs.
"I asked if I could have it though!" he says, fully knowing his sins.
I glared at him and say lowly, "I thought you were referring to my notes, bread for brains."
Mark snorts loud enough for our teacher to wake up from his nap. Once the class notices, we all pretend to be doing something productive and Mark plays it off with a cough.
"Mr. Lee." Mr. Kim says sternly, clicking his tongue, blinking his eyes rapidly.
Mark finishes coughing and turns to our seated professor, "Yes sir."
"Don't go to school if you're sick and going to cause a racket with your coughing."
Mark nods firmly and Mr. Kim closes his eyes again, mumbling, "page 65 is due tomorrow."
The entire class grumbles. Mark beside me scoffs and makes a face, "Yeah, yeah, Doyoung."
I turn to him and elbow his side.
"Whatever," Mark shakes his head, "professor bunny-teeth won't hear me."
Once class ended, we both get our things and head out for lunch. We walk to our canteen, fussing over assignments, deciding we should do it together later in our mutually free period.
I groan and narow your eyes at him as we have an argument over how he hasn't finished the essay for English, "That's not the point."
"Yo Mark!" a voice calls from afar. Mark and I turn, looking for the voice, and I spot the dimpled senior, Jung Jaehyun, in a table with the rest of his squad.
I nudge Mark and point at the pale guy seated by the corner.
Mark throws him a smile and waves. I follow closely behind him as he walks over to the table. "We're going to sit with them?" I say in some sort of gasp.
"Yeah." Mark replies simply, not bothering to turn to me, "they're cool."
I knit my brows at that and nod, "Yeah I know. But I'm not cute today."
Mark stops in his tracks and throws me a confused look, "what?"
"I didn't put any make-up on today, also I'm pretty sure there's a visible stain somewhere on my jacket, I just don't remember where."
Mark scrunches his face up again, even more confused. "What? How do you... forget a stai-- that's not the point. Why do you wanna look cute today?" He scoffs and continues lowly, "hardly as if you ever look cute."
I let out an annoyed groan and punch Mark's shoulder. "Like when you panicked when Seulgi came over and asked for notes."
Mark openes his mouth, "That is so not the same! Jaehyun's a fuck bo-"
"Just shut up already," I snap and shove him forward so he'd continue walking. "Let's not keep him waiting," I add and mumble, "also I know. Dong Sicheng however is very cute."
Mark chuckles, "he's dated every girl on the dance team."
"Okay, maybe not that cute."
"Ya, Mark," Jaehyun grins and greets the said person with a high-five and chest bump. He turns to me and speaks my name with a smile. I smile back politely and wave.
I'm about to sit next to Sicheng, but Mark shoves me and so I end up sitting on the other side of the bench table with Jaehyun. I turn to Jaehyun with a small, non-awkward smile and shoot Mark a glare. He seems unbothered though.
"So, you up for a round later?" Jaehyun asks Mark.
Mark talks over me, "you know it, dude."
Jaehyun flashes his dimple smile all the stupid girls fall for. I'm only half falling for it cause I'm only half stupid. He raises his brows, "you bought the dough, right?"
This makes me knit my brows.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I really did this time," Mark mumbles quickly. "It's my turn anyway."
Jaehyun gives an off look, "that's literally what you said last time bro."
"Yo, no for real. It's in my bag, if you wanna check."
Jaehyun shakes his head when Mark begins to scramble for it, "no, Lee, it's good. We wouldn't want you friend to get dirty."
Is it just me or do you feel slimey all of a sudden?
Jaehyun then gives me a somewhat, somehow sincere smile, "so. I hear you're in fashion design."
I give a soft chuckle, "yeah. That's me."
"I could tell from a mile away. Mark looks horrible next to your getup."
I look down at my sweater and ripped jeans. Mark exclaims in protest, "shut the hell up, Jae."
I give a soft smile at Jaehyun, "don't know where that comes from but thanks I guess."
Jaehyun chuckles, "I'm kidding," he eyes Mark, "I saw your Fashion Design pin on your bag when you sat down."
"Oooohhhh, haha, okay, that makes sense."
"Ya, Jeff," Sicheng calls for Jaehyun, "it's almost time."
Jaehyun turns to his friend and nods. He turns back to me and Mark, "well, it's nice to meet you. Mark won't put a sock in it even if I beg. See you around, fashionista."
He stands and slaps Mark's back, "see ya later, broski."
"Yeah, bruh," Mark replies.
Once it's just Mark and I, I snap at him and blurt out in a whisper yell, "YOU'RE ON BROSKI LEVEL WITH JUNG JAEHYUN?!"
Mark gives me a weird face, "bruh, I think he calls the principal broski, for real."
I smack Mark, making him whine, "you know what I'm talking about, Mark! And what, are you doing drugs?!?"
He shakes his head in confusion, "Wait, what!? Who the hell told you that?"
"Uhhhhh you were talking about dough and showing up later. Sounds like you owe him money for drugs, Mark."
"??? In what universe did we even mention drugs?? Does this," he slaps his face, "look like a face of a drug addict to you?"
"A gullible idiot maybe."
Mark's jaw drops, "oh wow, okay. I'm done with this conversation." He proceeds to stand attempt to walk away. I scoff, "not on my watch bitch."
Like the true idiot that he is, Mark begins to legit run away from me, like a criminal who stole my cookies. It's embarrassing that he, a man much taller than I, could not even outrun me. I suppose I should be grateful, but this just fortifies my thoughts of him being an idiot even more.
But okay... I wasn't actually expecting this... like... Mark and Jaehyun... like... actually baking bread after school with dough Mark premade at home. Also, uh, Jaehyun looks super cute in an apron that I'm having a mental breakdown. And what's new, so does Mark.
"I can't believe you thought I was a drug dealer," Jaehyun says in a soft pout as he rolls out dough on the marble counter of his friggin large kitchen in his friggin large house. Like dang, I knew he was rich, but he's like Rich™ Rich. Rich with a golden diamond encrusted Rolex watch rich that's in a glass display rich-- wtf.
Mark wheezes in his telltale high pitched laugh as he opens a pack of unsweetened chocolate pellets, "she thought dough was some sort of metaphor or something."
"Cute," they say at the same time. Mark turns to Jaehyun in slight surprise and Jaehyun turns to me. I roll my eyes, though I feel my neck burn. I avert my attention to the scene I was sketching on my pad, Jaehyun and Mark baking croissants. I clear my throat, "I'm just making use of the single braincell between us, cause if he doesn't die falling down the stairs, he's gonna pull some idiotic stuff like baking with Jung Jaehyun."
Oddly, it's Mark that reacts to that with a, "hey!"
Jaehyun rubs his chin on his shoulder, "I also can't believe you think so little of me.'
I break a sweat but decide to answer honestly, "... ... ... You have a reputation."
"Of being a fuck boy?"
Mark loudly transfers the chocolates into a metal bowl, making the two of us snap at him. Mark makes a face, "oh gosh, sorry."
Jaehyun sighs, "well. I admit I get around, but that's only because I get dumped every time."
I raise a brow.
Jaehyun purses his lips, "nah, let's not make this weird. The croissants will be flat."
"Dude," Mark turns to him, "that's literally only because you messed up the recipe."
Jaehyun grits his teeth, "no. It's because Kun's a little teacher's pet and sabotaged me so he could get the best grade."
"No, but like Kun is really nice, he helped me with the fold techinique."
Jaehyun scoffs, "He stole me vanilla extract, Mark. Who does that?!"
"No, listen, he's cool, like, for real--"
"No, you listen, he's a little shit and--"
The two begin to bicker like a married couple, and I begin to draw inspiration form the scene to design some random sketches of wedding dresses.
I look back to the two and still can't get over the fact that I learned Jaehyun was a culinary arts major with my best friend, and that I was currently in the Jung's boojie home because I thought Mark was buying drugs from him. Not what I was expecting at all my day to go like, but I'm not mad this is how it went.
"No, no, no, no," Jaehyun says. He turns to me and points, "let's just get an outside opinion. Babe, what's your favorite color?"
"BABE?!" Mark barks.
I take a moment to reply. I blink slowly, "uhh... pink?"
Jaehyun bites his lower lip and claps his flour covered hands, "Right. Pink croissants it is."
Mark shoots him a glare and turns to me, back to Jaehyun, "she has a name."
Jaehyun nods, "yeah, and she wants pink croissants."
Mark makes a face and Jaehyun examines it, chuckling under his breath. "Wah, you two are something, huh."
No one really responds.
We began to always eat lunch with Jaehyun and his friends. It's funny cause I realized Jaehyun, although I still firmly believed he was out to get nasty with every other girl he sees, he was actually just like Mark. A total loser with a love for cooking.
"Hey," Mark says with a snippy tone.
I give him a look and suddenly receive a paper bag to my face. Mark sits on his chair next to me, as per usual. I smell the thing before I realize what it is. It's a freshly baked bagel. I perk up and smile, "Aw, you baked me a bagel?"
Mark raises his upper lip, "no. Jaehyun did."
I knit my brows, "what? Why?"
Mark narrows his brows, "do you, like, like him?"
I give him a look. I take a bite of the bagel, making Mark look at me in disbelief. I answer, "You do know I only hang with him cause you do, right?"
"Then why'd you eat the bagel then?"
"Uh, a number of reasons. 1) it's a bagel, 2) free food, 3) I'm starving, 4) it smells amazingggg."
Mark does a face, "fair. I've been meaning to ask how he does his seasoning for a while now too." He releases a breath, "and anyway, I'm pretty sure he made a bagel cause I told him you liked them. Never talking about you to him anymore though."
I look at him, "why do you talk about me so much to him anyway?"
"Uh because you're amazing," Mark says instinctively.
I feel my heart skip at that. I coo and place my hands on my chest, "wait that's really sweet."
Mark looks at me. His face begin to shift, "too bad it's a lie- haha."
I give him a look and rebut, "jerk."
"Loser."
As quickly as I found out about Jaehyun being Mark's friend, that's about as quickly as I found out he didn't like hanging out with him anymore. It's kind of a shame I never got to go back to his boojie house.
There was this one encounter I had with Jaehyun though... which was a little weird, not gonna lie.
He was waiting for me outside my Tailoring class, smiling and waving when he saw me. I Reluctantly reciprocated and walked over to him.
He releases a breath, "I've been waiting for about 20 minutes for you. I didn't know when your class would end."
I raise my brows, "you could have asked?"
"Well I would need your number for that, and that would have ruined the surprise," he pulled out a brown paper bag, reminiscing the same one Mark chucked at my face.
"I made you two this time," he smiles.
I take a moment to reply, "you don't have to make me bagels, Jaehyun."
He grabs my hand, "yeah, but I want something out of ya," he places the bagels in my hand. He proceeds to lead us off and we begin to walk down the hall.
Truth be told, it's a little scary that his ulterior motive is up in the air. Jaehyun places his hands in his pockets, "I like your dress, by the way."
I smile, "thanks. I made it."
He smiles and nods, "right. That makes sense as to why it suits you well."
I can't help but blush at that, and simultaneously feel conscious when I realize a bunch of girls in my course are looking at me and Jaehyun as we strut down the hall.
"So, what did you want, Jaehyun?"
"Well, I clearly wanted to ask you out."
"..."
"..."
Jaehyun smiles and give a soft laugh, "is it so ground breaking?"
"... Uh..."
He sniggers, "hey, you can say no. I mean I hope you don't but you can." Jaehyun leans in and raises his hands, "I won't like it, but a man should take rejection from a lady well."
I turn to him as he straightens up. I turn to the bagels he made me and bring it back to him. He laughs, "no, I made them for you really. It's not poisoned, in fact it's made with love."
I visibly react to that, which makes Jaehyun wheeze. I can't help but laugh back, "that was hella tacky."
"Worth a shot though," he says. "Good luck with Mark."
I look at him with silence and he chuckles, "ya, you can't fool me."
I'm about to retort but then Jaehyun gets called by one of the frats dudes I identify as Johnny Seo. Jaehyun does a curtsy and clicks his tongue, "see ya later babez."
"You know, I would have said yes if you didn't do stuff like that."
Jaehyun purses his lips, "no you wouldn't."
I shrug, "worth a shot though."
Jaehyun places a hand on his chest, dramatically calling, "Uh, rejection hurts, man."
Yeah, I never went to Jaehyun's boojie house ever again.
Silver lining though was Mark's dorm smelled equally as nice because of all the food he cooks, although it came with a whiff of axe body spray from his roommate, Lucas. It's cool though, he was almost never around for me to smell it in its whole intensity.
"Aite," Mark calls from his side of the dorm. I perk up from the two seater dining table they had and turn to Mark who was covering the cake he was making for his finals.
"Don't, like, peek, okay. I want you to see the cake all at once and give me your honest reaction to it. Please, like, all my lives kinda depend on it."
"How many lives do you have?"
"9, I'm pretty sure."
I stand from my seat, "not you faking your life as a cat, but get it I guess."
Mark raises a hand at me as I walk over, "can you not, I'm high-key panicking right now."
"Over what? You literally made a box of donuts for your midterms and it looked better than Misty Mreme! I'm sure your cake is hot."
"It was in the minifridge for a day. I mean it barely fit cause of all of Lucas' mountain dew."
I groan, "just show me it, Mark Lee!"
Mark whined and dashes over to me, grabbing my shoulders, "okay, but like, don't be mean about it. I swear, I might cry."
I give a sound and fake cough, "it's ugly."
Mark doesn't respond to that particular jab, "I'm serioussss. Please be kind, okay?"
I look at Mark's nervous face and give a soft pout, "Markie, please, not that I think it would be ugly, but I promise you don't have to be nervous about my reaction."
He isn't soothed by that, but he does release a sigh, "okay. So for context, Mr. Moon wanted the cake to be one or two tiers, but I went with one, cause there aint no way I'm going to the other side of the campus to freeze a two tiered cake. Then, the theme was something from your childhood, so, I, uh, thought this was fitting. The exam is 60 percent decoration, 40 percent taste by the way."
Mark gives me a hesitant look, but steps way for me to see it. I then see a heart shaped, medium sized cake in my favorite pastel pink color. By the top there's a little boy on the floor playing with a toy oven set and little girl in a bumble bee dress, holding a stethoscope. At the bottom of the cake, there were jelly letters spelling out, "I like you."
I cup my cheeks at the sight of it and feel my eyes start to well at the sentiment.
Wait... was this really happening?
Mark heaves in and out, "okay, so like when Jaehyun began to like hit on you, that sucked pretty hard because he's known for getting girls and I thought maybe he'd get you too and I got panicky. Anyway, I....... have liked you since we were kids... And... I know you probably don't feel the same way but I have to try, you know.... Yolo."
My feel my tears retract from what I hear. I rub my eyes. I turn to Mark and find his nervous face. "Did you just say yolo in your confession, Mark?"
He looks like he's about to throw up.
I can't help but chuckle and pout, "dude..."
I prolong the moment. Mark gets even more nervous as he repeats softly, "dude..."
"We could have dated in grade school all this time."
It takes a moment to register in his head.
Like, a really long moment.
I sigh, "Mark! I like you too, dummy."
He freezes and blinks. His face begins to burn. He breaks into a soft smile, "nice."
I break into a laugh.
"... Uh... So... Can I like... Kiss you?"
I snort and feel my own cheeks begin to burn, "I think you should refrigerate your cake first."
Mark snaps out of this trance, "oh shoot, you-" I give him a quick peck on the lips.
He is dumbfounded.
I feel butterflies go wild in my stomach.
"I'll wait over there for when you've fixed that."
Mark watches as I walk away, "yooo.... That's not fair though."
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Obey Me Romanian MC
idea inspired by @/harunayuuka2060 (too shy to tag them)
Nu ştiu ce inspirație supraomenească m-a lovit dar am început asta la 2 dimineața și am terminat-o la 6.30
Im sleep deprived bc I stayed up all night doing this, enjoy gagicile mele
[added translations]
(under the cut bc this bitch is long af)
Lucifer: Are you not enjoying your meal?
MC: This food isn't even good. Next time I'm bringing my bunica to make you guys sarmale best thing you ever tried 👩🍳👌😘 mwah
-
MC: I'm not gonna go out with Satan, Beel, Asmo or Belphie.
Asmo: Awww
Beel: :(
Belphie: What?!
Satan: Why?
MC: Why date a guy who's favorite color is not in romanian flag? 🤔🇷🇴
-
Asmo: But I thought you could-
MC: For the last time IM NOT A VAMPIRE I CAN'T HYPNOTIZE PEOPLE OR MAKE THEM FALL IN LOVE WITH ME
-
Levi: Ohhh!!!! So are you like familiar with Castlevania-
MC: We don't talk about that *cries in disappointed*
-
Solomon: What is this weird potion.
MC: *puts bottle of țuică (plum brandy) on the table*
MC: This is not a potion, but a solution to all of your problems gagica 💖
-
MC: *talking to Lucifer* Oh iubire (love), stop crying over Diavolo again. Why cry over guy who would wear vagabond everyday in my country?
MC: Tsch tsch tsch
Lucifer: What the fuck is Vagabond
MC: Only the worst of streetwear existent. Only f-boys use it
Lucifer: Fair enough
-
Beel: Why do you want to try out for the sports team?
MC: Because Steaua, my country's team, disappointed me 😔
-
MC: Mammon! Asmo! Let me show you guys a thing called ✨manele✨
-
(after the Belphie incident)
MC: Does anybody have a belt.... a belt so I can...no reason...papuci de casă (slippers) works too
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MC: Hey Belphie! Did you enjoy your punishment? 😜
Belphie: My butt still hurts...
MC: Next time it's the lingură de lemn ♡ (wooden spoon)
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*MC dancing to Braşoveanca*
Mammon: W-what's that???
Satan: Some sort of ritual I suppose
Asmo: *joining in* It's fun!
MC: Doi✌paşi🦵înainte➡️şi😱doi😩înapoi⬅️ (two steps forward two steps back)
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MC: Who has summoned me?
Satan: Belphie isn't feeling well and the medicine didn't really do it's job.
MC: Everyone watch closely because I'm going to teach you guys a sacred ritual called ✨Frecție cu Oțet✨
Satan: You're just pouring vinegar on his wrist.
MC: Now here comes the fun part. *maggages his wrists*
Belphie: Someone please kill me this is unbearable
MC: Am I allowed to say Tatăl Nostru (Lord's prayer) or is that too....uhhh weird since yall are demons and stuff-
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Barbatos: MC...
MC: I'm sorry but crossing myself after I finish a meal is implemented in my brain. It's in the default settings.
Barbatos: What happens if you don't cross yourself?
MC: Lingura de lemn (wooden spoon) *shivers*
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Diavolo: Do you like my castle?
MC: Baby, Peleş puts you to shame.
MC: Also, too much current (swift). Close the damn windows
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Lucifer, giving up on life: Oh not again...
MC: DA PĂ CIMPOI DA PĂ CIMPOI JOACĂ FETELE LA NOI 👉👈😳
MC: Real music here 😌
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MC: There, there gacica (girlfriend). Don't cry. *pats him on the back*
Lucifer: Do you got any more țuică...
MC: That's the spirit!
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MC: I know I technically didn't die, but can we please have a funeral??? There is this really tasty cake just for this special occasion called colivă. Beel is okay with it so- hey don't ignore me! wait guys this is important- wAIT!
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Satan: I hate Lucifer because he is my father.
Belphie: I hate Lucifer because he sucks in general.
MC: I hate Lucifer because Favorite color is red which is COMMUNISM COLOUR 😡‼
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Solomon: See?? MC likes my cooking!
MC: Piftie...Caltaboş...
MC: Solomon, you would make a very good romanian housewife. Say, have you ever considered getting a 701st wife...?
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Beel: *munching happily on the food MC makes*
Lucifer: *getting a fucking break*
MC: *making grătar(barbeque) cu mici*
MC: Everybody loves 1 Mai!
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MC: Beelphiiieee!!!! I have a spell for you 😊
Belphie: Please not the lingură de lemn-
MC: *boop on the nose* ✨du-te dracu✨ (go to hell)
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Lucifer: How did you make everyone behave?
MC: *looking at the papuc de casă in hand*
MC: You either die a hero...or live enough to become the villain...
Lucifer: Interesting, can you teach me?
MC: The secret is to use your wrist-
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MC, whispering: Psst! Mammon! How's the sarmale trading going?
Mammon: Its okay, but why can't you just give me the recipe?
MC: E din moşi strămoşi (it's from older generations) I can't give it to you
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MC: Hey pisi, want a ride in my Dacia?
Simeon: ...what? :)
MC: Come on gagica(girlfriend)! We are going to visit my family they will love you!
MC: You can also bring Luke. Just uhhh don't let him drink from the "juicebox" ok? It's not- It's not juice in there
MC: But you can drink. I won't tell anyone.
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Diavolo: MC you can't leave yet. Not even for a quick visit back home.
MC: Auzi, da du-te-n p- (well why don't you fuck yourself on my dic-)
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MC: *sigh* Sometimes I wish Satan was wearing Vagabond instead of...whatever that is
Asmo: Ouch, but yeah I guess we are that desperate.
Satan: I'm never tutoring any of you again.
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MC and Luke, just vibing honestly: ⬇️Intră-n👇apa🌊mării🐚şi🐋nu🐟te🙄teme😱ai😳să-nveți🤯să-noți🐠printre🤔sirene🧜♀️🧜♂️
(go in the sea's water and don't you be afraid you'll learn to swim among mermaids)
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MC: No Asmo, I have a date to the ball he's right here *points at țuică bottle*
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Belphie: *misbehaving*
MC: Vai, vai, vai. Sărumâna Belphie 😃 ( well, well, well good day Belphie)
MC: *grabs the papuc (slipper)*
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MC: NO LUCIFER IT CAN NOT BE AN AN NOU FERICIT (happy new year) IF WE DO NOT DANCE THE HORĂ
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MC and Luke, vibing yet again: POVEȘTI DIN FOLCLORUL MAGHIAR!!! (maghiar folklore stories!)
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MC: Where is my țuică? :)
Everyone: *quiet*
MC: I won't get mad :)
MC:
MC: Foaie verse de trifoi~ *papuc reappears* Dați băi țuica înapoi (green leaf of clover, give the țuică back you fucker)
Everybody: *runs*
MC: Mândruțelor (girls), come back until I'll put this to good use
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Levi: *exists*
MC: *in love with him bc his fav color is in the Romanian flag and not in the commie flag*
MC: Te las să te lingi cu mime în parcare la lidl (I'll let you french kiss me in the Lidl market parking lot)
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MC: Lucifer you don't understand!
MC: Sandu Ciorbă cured my depression!
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MC: Muie cretinii pământului (fuck y'all stupid asses) my țuică is back and I'm not sharing anymore
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Asmo: We're doing hot girl shit tonight
MC: Ne curvim rău (we're hoeing)
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MC: futu-ți cristelnița mătii (fuck your mother's font) Simeon you're the one that drank all my țuică
MC: I'll let it slide this once, if u take me for shaorma(shawarma) in Piața Victoriei (Victoria's market)
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Solomon: Whoops, I accidentally messed up the sarmale recipe
MC: Aşadar războiu alesu l-ai (So you have chosen war)
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Mammon: MC, how do you say "I hate you" in romanian?
MC: Dar eu sunt mândru că sunt twink. (I'm proud to be a twink)
Mammon, clueless: ok thanks
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MC, to Belphie: I had such a rough day, please fute-mi una (fuck me over) and not the way I like
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Mammon: What would be a quick way to make money?
MC: Gagica(girlfriend), listen. Culegător de sparanghel (asparagus picker) in Spain is your go-to.
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Asmo: *blasting manele vechi (old manele).2006*
Asmo: Please love me!
MC: *already in wedding attire*
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MC: Beel! Here, try this! Yeah yeah its completely fine!
MC: ...what do you mean it looks like Solomon's cooking?
MC: THIS IS PIFTIE AND YOU WILL LEARN TO APPRECIATE IT
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MC: *dragging them all by the hand to therapy*
MC: Păi aşa-i hora pe la noi măi bade- (This is hora to us well my mans)
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MC, talking to Lucifer: Măi omu lu dumnezeu îți fut una de nu te vezi (listen God's man I'll fuck you over that you'll not see again) if u lay a finger on my țuică again
MC: I don't care that you have daddy issues, this is MINE now thank you very much.
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MC: Doamne cu ce ți-am greşit? (God, what have I done to you?)
MC: tanti Lilith, ia-mă cu tine gagicuțo milf ce ești (Miss Lilith, take me with you you milf girlfriend)
MC: Chiar și culesul de căpșuni din Spania era mai ok dacât (even strawberry picking in Spain is better than) Therapist Simulator hell edition
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Diavolo: *exists*
MC: Vrei să-ți fiu a ta mireasă? (Do you want me to be your wife?)
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Simeon: *exists*
MC: Vrei să-ți fiu Ileană Cosânzeană? ( Want me to be your fairy wife?)
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Belphie: Every time I doze off they say this weird phrase...
MC: Dormeo(mattress company) ! Noapte bună! (good night!)
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MC: What do you mean im not allowed to have a cross around my neck?
MC: My dead grandmother would kill me it's Sfântu Andrei for fucks sake
MC: The law is law we gotta put garlic and salt everywhere around the house
MC: This is what you get from taking my țuică away AGAIN
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MC: I mean, at least i dont have to take the bacalaureat and face the woman-hating-Ion-Creangă-fucking-twink-looking-nightmare-inducing Eminescu so
MC: *drinks a Mona Spirt (rubbing alcohol) bottle in one go*
MC: that works wonders for me
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