#thank u anon i appreciate ur careful reading so much :’)

[mappingthesky]

i was going through your works and decided to reread iyldwm bc its one of my ao3 favs and it got me thinking ,,, this could very well be the same universe and backstory of ik,b,na with jane’s thought of It was four months and some days into her and Nymphia’s… whatever it was. They hadn’t really talked about it, and they didn’t really need to.

it reminded me how ik,b,na nymphia broke down after months of uncertainty while jane was confused bc she thought it was clear from the start. a cute hypothesis, nonetheless. love your writing!

WOW i love this so much… first of all, thank you for loving if you lie down with me… i LOVE THAT ONE and it makes me really happy that someone has gone back to it :’) wowwwww i absolutely love this theory and i think it makes perfect sense…. i didn’t plan that per se, but i tend to write pn as having this unspoken togetherness, and i think that vibe in iyldwm completely tracks with jane’s assumptiveness in ik,b,na….. perhaps it is the same universe after all ::)

[crescentfool]

Seems up your alley: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45650125

ANON... thank you so much for alerting me to this fic, i know it's been a good three weeks since you've sent this ask but i've finally gotten a chance to read this and GOSH... this is, very very good ryomina fic that i need to tattoo inside my eyelids like, right now. i haven't read fic p3 in a good while but thank you so much for thinking of me!!! 💛💙

[onlyswan]

summary: in which you drive jungkook mad but you make his heart beat.

idol!jungkook x f!reader, est. relationship / fluff, suggestive, a pinch of angst / word count: 5k

content/warnings: tried sumn different so this is mainly from jungkook’s pov :D !! drummer!oc ur so cool & i’m stealing u from ur bf 🏃— mention of a 10 yr age gap between jk & a guy who likes oc (he’s hella pissed off) ; mentions of (car) s^x ; allusion to a bl^wj^b ; jk just got home from tour & oc is tipsy, needy, & dramatic as hell T_T ; oc /briefly/ touches jk while he’s driving & he /nearly/ loses his shit & crashes the car (he doesn’t) (i’m kidding) + to the anon who wanted to jk’s cheek scar to get a kissy here u go 🥺

> in which masterlist!

note: oc is so shot glass of tears coded especially in this… i’m glad i’m posting this after golden came out just so i could say it 🥰 this takes place after this drabble sooo the end of oct 2018 <3 if u’ve read the prev drabble too, this was when jk said those exact words in the past 🥺 wrote this in the middle of hell week so i was half out of my mind :'] as always feedback & reblogs rrr always appreciated !! 🥺

—

jungkook loves the sound of rain— the gentle knocks on every surface of the earth has always been a lullaby even during daylight.

tonight is a different story, however. it is defeaning, terrifying even. he can barely see what is infront of him, spare the occasional headlights blazing across the slippery roads. his umbrella is being stolen away by the harsh gusts of wind and the mud stains on his sneakers are well-hidden by the plain black.

and yes, he is tired; and yes, this is hard, but that is the end of it.

you’re exactly where you told him you’d wait, far behind the edge of the roof where the rainwater falls from and splashes on the ground. you stand out in his blue oversized shirt, one that he purposely left behind in your closet so he could have something else to wear when he sleeps over.

you’re too busy typing on your phone to see him crossing the parking lot; he feels his very own vibrate in the pocket of his sweatpants. however, his giddy smile fades when a man exits through the entrance door and approaches you with a red umbrella. his strides become slightly hurried then, as he watches you politely decline it with that heart-fluttering smile of yours everybody adores.

“oh no, really, i’m fine. you might need it later! my boyfriend is already coming to pick me up anyway.”

jungkook acts cool. he tucks his hand in the pocket of his sweatpants, tries to make himself appear bigger because he realizes that he would be inches shorter than the man if not for the platforms of his shoes.

“____, baby!”

upon hearing your name coming from the lips of your lover, your face lights up even brighter.

“jungkook!”

you greet him with an embrace, jumping into his arms before he can properly set down his umbrella on the ground.

“yah, yah-yah! be careful!” he chuckles as he wraps his arms around your waist to catch you, peering down to check how high your boots are for you to be running and jumping around freely.

“hey, i’m going back inside- there’s more customers coming in. make it home safe, alright?”

the stranger tries to catch your attention, and jungkook’s protectiveness swiftly kicks in when he lays a hand on you and slides it down to your lower back. your boyfriend turns you away from the unprompted touch by pulling your body closer to his side, and he is unable to control how his eyebrows knit together in annoyance.

he wasn’t planning on giving much thought to the presence of a man around you. he knows better than that. but he has never heard about this one, which raises the question of who the fuck is he to freely touch you like that?

“oh- alright! thank you, jun!”

“you better take care of ____, man. it’s dangerous around here during this time.”

he receives a rather heavy and condescending pat on the shoulder, and so, with his annoyance bubbling worse, he wears a passive aggressive smile on his face.

“yeah, of course i am,”

jun’s nostrils flare as he witnesses you sneakily slide your hands underneath jungkook’s hoodie in search of warmth.

“i’m here now, so there’s no need to worry about my girlfriend anymore.”

he nods, then forces himself to smile. “that’s good, then.”

“yeah, thanks. we’re leaving.”

“oh, okay. have a nice night!”

“you too,”

he turns on his heel and returns inside the busy establishment— but not before jungkook made sure that he saw the bruises on his knuckles that he got from his boxing sessions.

his jaw clenches as he glares at the door.

is he being petty? sure, to hell with that. he doesn’t care. he’s always been one to trust his gut, and he has a bad feeling.

he is met by a love-drunk smile when his undivided attention is at last given to you, in the form of fond eyes and affectionate strokes of your hair.

“who was that?”

“eh, new bartender,” you shrug with disinterest. “hm, i think he’s 31…? he’s nice but he keeps talking about wrestling.”

he raises an eyebrow at the mention of his age, while your lips form a sad pout.

what the hell? he thought he would be 25 at most.

“the tv has been in the same channel for the past two weeks because of him. it’s all i’ve been seeing! i don’t like it-” you whine in distress, quite frankly, a little traumatized.

an endeared smile is coaxed out of him at your adorableness, how your speech is a little slurred and how you’re looking at him like you’re begging him to do something about it.

“makes me nervous,”

his dominant hand closes into a fist.

if he only he had known. should’ve fucking punched the guy, give him a taste of what he seems to be a huge fan of.

“let’s watch something calming when we get home, how about that?”

you nod your head, eyes that twinkle with eagerness fluttering shut when he leans in for a much awaited kiss. how sweet, he feels a little more alive than before. he can smell it, even taste it— the peach margarita you started sipping on before the band’s first set. concocted by jun, he presumes. he pulls away with a small smile, licking his lips for the traces of you that clung to him.

out of the blue, you burst into a fit of giggles, weak knees buckling as your weight crashes on him.

“i missed you!”

“babe, are you seriously drunk?” he chuckles, holding you with a secure grip around your torso.

“maaaybe tipsy…? i was pretending not to be.” you stand on your tip-toes to nuzzle your face against his neck, mumbling sheepishly. “only trust you.”

—

“i should’ve accepted the umbrella.” you grunt childishly, body going limp on jungkook’s back, except for the arm holding up the umbrella that shields the both of you from the pouring rain.

“yah!” he scolds you, clearly not pleased with the words that just came from your mouth. “what does that mean?”

“i’m embarrassed! they’re probably feeling bad for you.”

the last sentence comes out as a whisper, pertaining to the side glances you’ve been attracting from strangers as you make your way to your boyfriend’s car.

unfortunately, he had to park somewhere far because the restobar’s parking lot was already full.

you jokingly complained about staining your white boots with dirt and mud, but you instantly regretted it when he bent down, signalling you to ride on his back without an ounce of hesitation.

“our shoulders always get wet when we share an umbrella,” he said. “if i carry you, wouldn’t it be better?”

“embarrassing? some would even say romantic!”

something peculiar happens then— when your lips ghost over his left cheek, planting an affectionate kiss there that lasts for seconds. you pull away with a smacking sound, giggly and bubbly, might be his favorite version of you.

“i love you,” you hum, grasping the umbrella upright before it could tip over.

he doesn’t know if you did it on purpose or not, kissing him precisely where his scar is, but his heart jumps in his chest when he feels it begin to throb.

as if the wound from his childhood has come alive. as if, once again, he is bleeding as he glares at his older brother, and he still wants to play games on the computer oblivious to the fact that it would leave a permanent scar, a brand new landmark on his body.

you mistake his silence for something else.

you frown, warm breath tickling his neck as you quietly ask. “are you still mad at me?”

he sighs, vision landing on the ground as his walking pace slows down. “no? i was wrong. i shouldn’t have questioned your decision in the first place… why would i be mad?”

you started playing the drums for your friend’s band two months ago, just as soon as he left for tour. you volunteered after witnessing how distraught they were when their drummer vanished without a trace. he learned that it used to be a hobby of yours from childhood until early teenage years, playing the drums, but it was robbed from you when your father took his instruments with him when he abandoned your home for another.

he was pleasantly surprised when he learned about it, recounted all the times your hands and fingers were drumming on any sort of surface and his head naturally bopped to the beat, but then again, you never brought it up.

isn’t ____ so cool? he would proudly say when he flaunts you to his friends, even the protocol team, who have never seen him so happy.

three times a week, from nine in the evening until midnight, your phone was propped up on an empty table infront of the stage, and him, on the other side of the globe, excitedly watched you from backstage while he was getting ready for their own show. some other times, he was in his hotel room, or the private jet. his patience has been tested by crappy wifi, nosy and noisy people, and his earphones that stopped working while you looked insanely attractive grooving to ‘why’d you only call me when you’re high?’ as you effortlessly played the drums. he showered you with compliments as you did for him. you’re working hard so he must do the same.

he arrived home from tour the other day, spent the rest of its hours sleeping. yesterday, he waited for you at school and then at work like a lost puppy, slept on your bed (if he’s being honest, the two of you didn’t do much sleeping) then woke up at 9am for work.

and he tried his best, he really did, to get out of the company early enough to catch you playing a song or two. after all, it was your last day at the job.

much as you enjoyed reconnecting with an old flame— loved the overflowing tips that came from those who were amazed by your talent (well, there were also those who were just trying to get into your pants), the moment that the old drummer got down on his knees begging to be taken back by his best friends, just like how you became a part of the band, you voluntarily stepped down.

jungkook didn’t agree with this decision. he didn’t understand why you’d sacrifice something that makes you happy for a person who fucked up and wasted what they had. you went back and forth over it on the phone until you cried, told him that it wasn’t easy for you, and he couldn’t hold you in his arms or kiss your face. he could only apologize, and it even felt insincere doing it through a screen.

maybe he’s only relieved that you no longer need to be around a man an entire decade older than he is, who is obviously interested in you and serves you alcohol drinks. no, that doesn’t sit right with him. he needs jun, or whatever the fuck his true name is, to stay very far away from his baby.

“i’m just sad that i never got to watch you perform in person.”

you rest your cheek on his shoulder, heavy eyelids slowly blinking as the headlights of a black van blindsides you.

what the fuck. too bright.

“me too…”

—

“i’m bored,” you release a dramatic sigh, stealing a glimpse of jungkook at the driver’s seat, just to see if you caught his attention like you intended.

his eyes are trained on the dashboard, however, focused on the navigation guide displayed on his phone. he isn’t very familiar with this part of the city. it took him more than an hour to arrive at the address you sent him, including the time he spent in the middle of traffic.

“forty-eight minutes, then we can do whatever you want.”

“whatever i want?”

he slows down the car, briefly turning his head to find you expectantly looking at him with wide, hopeful eyes.

“of course,” he laughs, taking one hand off the wheel to squish your cheeks together. “just tell me what it is, baby.”

he doesn’t catch the sad look that flashes across your face after you lose his touch.

“then i’ll tell you when i figure out what i want,” you say quietly.

“i thought you already had something in mind?”

“nope,” you answer with yet another sigh.

you choose to stare out the window in silence, body completely slumping into your seat in defeat.

jungkook’s senses are sharp, or he likes to believe so. “are you okay?”

“i’m okay,”

“you sure?”

“hmm,” you hum curtly, and then you close your eyes, so he decides not to press further despite wanting to.

he meets a red traffic light not long after that. and so, he hurriedly grabs the black fleece blanket in the backseat. he envelopes you in it, crossing the distance between you to softly press his lips onto yours for a goodnight kiss. he feels you respond, albeit lazily, and he smirks cockily when you lift yourself up to chase him for one more, please— desperately, to get your fill of goodnight kisses from the many nights that you missed it.

the time seems to tick excruciatingly slow now that you’re quiet. a minute is multiplied by a hundred. the steady rhythm of your breathing keeps him sane throughout dark avenues and encounters with reckless drivers of the midnight scene.

he missed you. he missed you so much, and he knows that you’re tired from university, and tutoring high school students in english, and playing the drums for more than two hours… but he selfishly wishes that you’re awake right now so he can make up for the two months that you were apart.

be careful of what you wish for, they said.

jungkook should know better by now.

“i can’t sleep,” he hears you whisper in a dulcet tone that indirectly tells him you’re in need of some love… but he isn’t given the chance to act upon that request because you’re already all over what it is that you need.

he swallows thickly, glancing down at your hand that has somehow found its way to his inner thigh— zeroing in on your red nails, can feel them faintly grazing his skin.

you’re so pretty. everywhere.

even when naked and bare.

no, especially. it’s all he can think about.

he can draw you from memory.

“____,” he utters your name through gritted teeth, heart beginning to race a thousand miles per second in his chest.

the effect of your teasing touch is instantaneous, slowly inching closer and closer to where his growing erection is. his eyes remain focused on the road, but he fears that he’ll start thinking with his dick soon if you carry on with this act a few seconds longer.

“shit, not now, baby- please- not while i’m driving.”

your bottom lip is caught between your teeth, poorly concealing a self-satisfied smirk, and you pretend not to hear a single word from his plea.

a minx, that’s what you are, always causing trouble and blurring lines in his eyes.

“____, i’m not joking around. don’t make me mad-”

his warning is cut short by-

“fuck… fuck,” he curses, filter flying out the window once he feels you tracing the outline of his hard-on, the feather-light touch of your fingers smoothly gliding across the fabric of his sweatpants, and he completely loses it when your soft palm caresses his cock, so gentle that it feels almost innocent.

okay, so he couldn’t feel it because you weren’t skin-to-skin, but he knows that your hands are soft, can feel his imagination running wilder because he has memorized the way they feel on most parts of his body.

you’re so incredibly nasty and evil for this— squeezing him lightly, taking advantage of how sensitive he’s gotten, making him tremble as pleasure shoots up his spine. his breath stutters in his lungs and he unconsciously pushes harder on the gas.

and although it means fighting every fiber of his being that painfully yearns for more, he seizes your wrist in an iron grip, placing your hand over the gearstick while his sits heavy on top of yours.

“____! behave! you’re going to get us killed!”

he watches you jut out your bottom lip through the rearview mirror, eyes hazy with lust staring down at where your hand used to be, and then his handsome face. he is evidently flushed, honey skin dusted with a rosy pink. all the way to the tips of his ears, down to his neck.

while he’s driving? really?

doesn’t this only happen in wet dreams?

you are not real.

“then pull over,” you plead. “please?”

he releases a shaky breath. you’re always so needy with alcohol in your system, drove him into total insanity while he couldn’t be here to give you what you wanted.

“no, you need to learn how to be patient… told you we can do whatever you want when we get home, right?”

wrong move.

the silence returns, and just when he thought that you went back to your journey to slumber, the sound of your sniffles fill the car.

jungkook’s heart breaks into a million pieces.

also, he wants to slam his head against the steering wheel.

you make it so fucking hard to resist you; you always get what you want. it becomes much harder when he is the subject of your desire and he loves being loved.

“haven’t i been patient enough…? i missed you so much.”

“and i missed you too!” he brings your intertwined hands to his lips, pressing them on your skin. “fuck, you have no idea how much… please, don’t cry.”

“then pull over,” you stubbornly insist, and he is so close to driving this car into a lamp post. “fuck me at the backseat.”

“can’t,” he mumbles, sounding almost pained, and he is. he wants you so bad, it hurts. “we’re going to have to do it without protection.”

“what do you mean?” you exclaim.

you rip your hand away from his, not wasting time in unlocking the glove compartment, and a sound of sheer disappointment escapes from your mouth as you collapse back on your seat.

“jungkook, i hate you!”

“well right now i hate myself too!” he cries out in frustration. “i didn’t have the time to buy more, okay?”

“and there’s not one in your wallet?”

“babe, are you serious?!”

“what?!”

somehow, his hands still expertly swivels the steering wheel as the car meets a curve.

but he feels dizzy. the ghost of your touch is still there, a promise of carnal pleasure unfulfilled.

“stop the car,” you say out of the blue, rather calmly, and that terrifies the shit out of him.

he swallows the lump in his throat, eyes switching between you and the road in panic. “huh?”

“i said stop the car, i’m stepping out.”

“babe, come on,” he moans, ruined and tormented. he reaches for your hand but you scoot further away from him, and he ignores the way his heart drops to his stomach as he kneads your exposed thigh instead. “please, don’t be like this. i just got home.”

“jungkook! if you don’t let me get off this car right now, i swear!”

the urgency embedded in your threatening voice leaves your boyfriend with no choice but to pull over to the side of the street as soon as he gets the chance.

he carries on to unbuckle his seatbelt.

“baby, stop being stu-”

he tries to reach for you, but he is rudely ignored as you hop off the car and slam the door shut on his face.

“…bborn…”

he blinks.

he inhales. he exhales.

and then he buries his face in his hands to scream… as quietly as possible.

“what the fuck was in that margarita?!”

—

jungkook steps out of the car worried sick about you. now wearing a black bucket hat, his head whips in different directions in search for the familiar shape of your body, your hair, your shirt that is his, anything.

his arm rests on top of the car door, the other on the roof, fingers drumming on it anxiously as he chews on his bottom lip.

there are mostly restaurants here, it seems. some are already closed, some are still lights on. not far away, he hears a karaoke place bursting with music and laughter. he looks up and he finds that the night sky remains barren of stars; there’s no guidance from the heavens that will lead him to you.

except for the sound of your sweet voice calling out his name.

he turns around, and he knows it’s going to sound extremely silly, but damn, you make his life feel like a movie— because you’re jogging towards him, and the universe begins moving in slow motion. perhaps it is to prevent him from falling on his knees in relief, because he genuinely thought that you already went home on your own like the stubborn brat that you are.

“____, where did you go?! you can’t just run off like that! seriously, that was not nice!”

“i forgot my wallet!” you squeal as you halt infront of him, slapping your forehead as a way to scold yourself. “i found a hotteok cart!”

his anger quickly dissipitates. he scans your face, mouth agape in bewilderment.

you, screaming at him to stop the car because there was a sighting of your favorite snack? makes sense.

he dishes out the wallet from his pocket. “wha- i thought you… you didn’t have money?”

you shake your head to answer his question.

“then how are you already eating?”

you take another bite from the hot hotteok you’re holding in a paper cup, and then you shrug.

“i was already eating when i realized it,” you point at yourself, a mischievous smile tugging at the corners of your lips. “so he let me run back here. does it look like this face would steal?”

“you’re impossible!” he bursts out laughing, the unique sound of his joy harmonizing with the mundane noises of the city.

he is thoroughly amused and in awe of your undeniable charm never failing to work its magic. if you just gave it a shot, you might be even better at him at his job.

you’re pliant as he captures your wrist, tugging you away with him so he can lock the car.

“i bought three, by the way.” you note as the two of you start walking, with you clinging to his side. “the last three then mister can go home.”

you put the hotteok near his mouth, and he pauses to take a big bite. “have you even had dinner?”

“just the four margaritas- they were yummy! or was it five?”

he clicks his tongue in disappointment, but he doesn’t get to say anything more about it because you’ve reached the hotteok cart, and he’s already handing the vendor the money.

“thank you!” he bows his head politely as he accepts the remaining two you mentioned earlier, handing them over to you.

“no, this is yours.” you speak with tenderness, giving back one of the cups to him. “then we’ll split the third one. it’s really good!”

the vendor secretly watches the interaction with a fond smile as he packs up to finally, finally end his long day working at the busy streets of seoul.

—

you’re sat together on the hood of jungkook’s car as you share a midnight snack. with caring hands, you rip the hotteok apart in perfect halves, offering the other to your lover. he accepts it in between his teeth.

“do you want drums as your christmas gift?”

“love,” you search for the words to say as you chew the food in your mouth. “i can barely fit in my apartment. where am i going to put a drum set…? not to mention that i can’t even cry without my neighbor hearing it.”

his shoulders drop in dejection, and you rub your boyfriend’s back in an attempt to comfort him.

“you must really want to see me play, don’t you?”

“i’m dying to,” he says in pure jungkook fashion, tone dramatic and thick with an accent that is entirely his. “i can’t believe there were regulars who saw you every night, while i, your boyfriend, didn’t even see you once…! even that fucking bartender… this- this can’t be right! do you think this makes sense? no, right?”

“aw, my baby,” you coo at him, jutting out your bottom lip as you tenderly cup his face.

“i don’t trust him, by the way,” he scoffs. “as much as possible, stay away from him when you visit, alright…? if i see him touching you one more time, i don’t know what i’ll end up doing to him.”

“i don’t like him either,” you giggle. “so that’s easy.”

he stares at your bloodshot eyes. damn it, you haven’t sobered up.

“____, i’m serious. he’s weird. i’m worried about you but i can’t always be here to protect you.”

you blink at him innocently. “i am too! serious!”

“you promise me?”

“i promise!”

he nods, teeth sinking into his bottom lip as he gets lost in the sea of his own thoughts. “i should talk to your friends about this, too. is that okay?”

“if that will ease your mind,” you half-smile, heart fluttering in your chest because you feel so cherished.

comfortable silence follows suit.

the hotteok is still soft and warm and sweet. if your love had to be delivered to his doorstep, it would in the form of your favorite food.

he sighs to gain more of your sympathy, basking in the attention he’s receiving from you. he missed this. he missed you. he sounds like a broken record, but it’s true.

“come ooon, don’t be sad! i’ll make it up to you! but it’s a surprise!”

“surprise?” he eyes you with suspicion. “what surprise?”

“just trust me, alright?”

you poke his cheek where his dimples are, and you witness them pop out as he copies your contagious smile.

“can i make a guess?”

“nope!”

you fit the remaining piece of your hotteok in your mouth, jumping off the hood of the car. you stand before him as you wipe your hands clean with a small paper napkin.

“don’t you dare. if you guess it right then my plans will be ruined!”

—

you’re back on the passenger seat to travel the remaining twenty-seven minutes to your apartment.

jungkook melts into the tenderness of your touch as he drives. you’re tracing the toned muscles of his arms; stroking his hair, his face, and the smell of the sticky brown sugar from the hotteok still lingers on your skin.

“when are you going to start getting tattoos?” you wonder out loud as he intertwines your fingers together on top of his thigh. “i think you’d look so pretty.”

“i’m planning on it.”

his heart skips a beat at the thought of you remembering that he wants his skin artfully inked as you absentmindedly distracted yourself with it.

he licks his lips, smiling as he looks over at you. “you really think so? pretty?”

“hm, hot, too,” you stick your tongue out playfully, and he snorts out a laugh. “but as long as you’re happy, then nothing else matters.”

“of course- wait, yah! you still need to eat dinner.” he reminds you once he recognizes the path you’re taking.

a grocery store is not more than a kilometer away, if his memory serves him right.

“what do you want? i don’t mind cooking.”

“for you to fuck me, that’s what i want. you won’t mind that, too?”

oh my fucking god.

he wishes you were passed out drunk instead so he wouldn’t have to suffer this battle between self-control and his insatiable appetite for you.

“baby, aren’t you still sore from this morning?”

“a little,” he notices you squeezing your thighs together from his peripheral, and along with it, the bruises on your knees from when you worshipped his body last night. “but i want you.”

your giggles in reaction to him frustratedly running his fingers through his hair seems to only fuel the dirty thoughts in his head. he uncomfortably shifts in his seat to adjust himself.

“can you just bring it up when we get near your house? you’re killing me over here!”

“but why? i’m having fun.” you bring your tangled hands over to your side, peppering the back of his hand with innocent kisses. “i love you. you’re so cute.”

“are you… are you seriously calling me cute after what you just asked me to fuck you?”

his disbelief is challenged by your amusement.

“why not? being one dimensional? boring. being different things all at once? sexy.”

jungkook doesn’t need to see you play the drums to know that you are the only one capable of making his heart beat like this. to feel it pounding, it turns out there’s another way besides performing, he can just be alone with you. a different type of addictive exhilaration. he isn’t at the top of the world; he free falls as it revolves around you.

you always know the right words to say, because right now, he is preening. he’s wearing a big smile, the kind that looks like he’s laughing, but he’s not— almost. the kind that reaches his eyes, shapes them into little crescent moons.

how did he get so lucky?

rehearsals in the morning be damned, he will be fucking you good all night.

you make a noise of confusion when the car swerves into the trees at the side of the road.

“what are we doing here?”

jungkook only spares you a glance. “get in the backseat, baby.”

—

taglist in the reblogs! send an ask/dm if you want to be added (or removed) :D

—

[nerdy-novelist017]

omg i love ur writing sm✨🩷💋

do u think u could write sumthin like benny coming home to finding u snuggled up on the couch in one of his huge shirts?????

Thank you for this super sweet request, Anon! Sorry I've been taking forever to get around to the requests, but I'm trying to get back into the routine of working on them a little bit every day. Hope you enjoy!

Benny x Bunny Masterlist

Word Count- 1.1k+

T-Shirts (Benny Cross x Shy! Reader)

Benny cursed under his breath as he stumbled over the threshold of the front door. He’d been out with the Vandals, not an actual meeting, just a night out with a few of the main members. He’d invited you as he always did, but you declined. You had told him that you wanted to have some alone time after a long day at work. He understood – girls needed their ‘me time’ to pamper themselves or whatever, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to miss you. You were sometimes all consuming to him, his thoughts almost always ran back to you. Johnny and the boys could see it, anyone that really knew Benny (few as they were) knew he was completely infatuated with you. He was drunk off your touch, your voice, your smile. How could he be separated from you for long? So as the night progressed and he accepted more whiskeys being slid in his direction, his thoughts of you became more hazy, more melancholic and finally Johnny took pity on him and told him to go home. 

The slight buzz from the beers he had early did not mix well with the lack of lights. Usually, you left on the front porch light for him when you knew he would be out late and you were going to bed early. But it wasn’t the case tonight he realized as all the lights in the main level of your house were turned off. As he tossed his bike keys onto the entryway table and flipped on a light, he wondered briefly in his intoxicated mind if you were upset with him and this was your passive aggressive way of punishing him for staying out late, but that theory quickly diminished when he caught sight of the couch. At first glance, it looked like just a pile of throw blankets, but he was convinced he could spot your familiar form no matter how much light there was in the room. 

He slipped out of his boots and jacket, standing there for a moment longer in appreciation. A lovestruck smile overtook his face at the view of you curled into your side, that yellow blanket with white flowers (one you had begged him to buy when you first moved in together, stating that it was the perfect piece to pull the room together. He honestly couldn’t have cared less about the living room or its decor, but the smile on your face when he put it in the shopping cart made it suddenly the most important detail.) pulled over your body, a forgotten book laying face down on your chest – a clear indication that you had once again fallen asleep while reading. Your mouth slightly agape, your features looked so soft and girlish that it took Benny’s breath away knowing you were his. Even though he saw some incredible sunrises, sunsets and starry nights when he went riding, you were without a doubt the most beautiful sight he got to come home to. 

Unable to restrain himself any longer, he crossed the room, stooping to trace a hand across your face, brushing the tousled hair from your eyes. With his other hand, he looped his fingers through the spine of your novel, making sure to save your page mark as he placed it on the coffee table. His left hand moved beneath your knees and his right supported your back as he effortlessly lifted you into his embrace. That’s when he realized you were wearing one of his shirts, the white material clearly oversized on your small figure. He didn’t know a simple white t-shirt had the ability to be sexy, but clearly he shouldn’t have been as surprised as he was because you had the talent to make just about anything look painfully arousing on you. And nothing at all. And to make matters even harder for Benny, he knew it wasn't your intention when you put on his shirt to look sexy, you probably weren’t even aware of the effects of your body in that damn oversized t-shirt and the way it clung to your chest as he lifted you, nor the way it molded around your hips. You were certainly not aware of the sudden twitch in his pants because of the way the garment just seemed to make you look even more of the little bunny that stole his heart. 

“Benny?” your muffled, half asleep voice hit his ears like the sweetest melody as you snuggled into his chest. 

“Stealin’ my clothes, Bunny?” he teased and you sunk further into his embrace, not quite awake enough to catch his playfulness. He carried you up to your bedroom, using his foot to kick the door shut behind him. He placed you gently on your side of the bed and almost laughed as you tugged him back down to you for a messy kiss. 

“I like the way it smells like you,” you admitted as you rubbed your eyes, the action pulling on Benny’s heartstrings. 

“You may have to keep it. Looks better on you,” he smiled as he stepped back to change into something more comfortable. 

“Whatever you say, Cross.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, your words slurring together. “I tried waitin’ up for you. Did ‘ya have a good time?”

“Go back to sleep, Bunny,” he coaxed gently, smiling as your blinks were growing longer by the second. That was always something you wanted to do: you liked to lay in bed and talk about your days if they happened to be spent apart. You encouraged him to talk more than he’s ever talked in his life. Sometimes he felt as though your chattiness was rubbing off on him, but you never interrupted nor discouraged him from expressing his thoughts. He loved you more for that. “There’s plenty of time to talk about it tomorrow.”

“M’kay, come lay with me?” you asked and Benny scoffed because was that even a request you needed to make? He was drawn to you like a moth to flame, he couldn’t resist having a hand on you while he slept. It was like some instinctual urge projecting him to keep you near, to keep you safe, even while he was floating in the realm of sleep. 

He shook his head as you muttered a final incoherent sentence into the side of your pillow, eyes falling shut again. He crawled into bed behind you, slipping his hand around your waist and pulling you flush against his body as he pulled the blankets over the two of you. A soft, content sigh escaped you, and Benny looped his hand into yours, pulling it up to his lips in a soft kiss as he whispered “I love you, Bunny.”

-Tag List-

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[catcze]

I just read the “you won’t regret marrying me” for wriothesley and let me tell that this man is definitely going to cry on the wedding day

related 'you won't regret marrying me' fanfic here ! OH OH OH OHHH HE SO TOTALLY WOULD ?!??!? Like;;;; anon. when i tell u i got a vision when i received ur ask and i had to type it IMMEDIATELY thank u for sharing your thoughts im a mess now LMAO

Reblogs are greatly appreciated !!

GUYS I LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH I ALMOST CRIED WRITING IT DONT LET IT FLOP PLS 💔

i like to think that you're both a bit unconventional with how you go about your wedding— for one, you had gone to each others' fitting for your wedding day outfit. Wriothesley had damn near cried when he saw you in the wedding garb that you would eventually choose as your piece— he had barely managed to keep it together when he saw his engagement ring on your finger, and you dressed in white, looking so breathtaking, and his to be together with forever.

He had to turn towards the corner in the fitting room for a second, frantically wiping his eyes and willing not to cry, because he was up next after you, and he didn't want his fitting to be with puffy red eyes. You had clung to his back, giggling at how cute and sweet he is, all the while you petted his back and hair comfortingly.

On your wedding day, though? All cards are off the table. He doesn't care about keeping his composure in front of the audience. Doesn't care that even Furina is there, or that Neuvillette is there, or even Navia or the traveller. He doesn't give two shits about how he's the Duke of Meropide, and he has a reputation to uphold.

The moment those big, grand doors open and you walk yourself down the aisle, a beaming grin on your face, he fucking cracks. He sniffles first, and there's itchiness in his eyes, and then fuck, tears are genuinely welling up in his eyes, and he groans, pressing his palms into his eyes to stem the stream of tears, but it's absolutely no use.

Because fuck, he's here, you're here, you're both wearing white, there are the rings, and you're about to get married. You're about to spend the rest of your life with him, and you look so excited for it. It makes his stomach flip like crazy, makes his brain turn to mush because he loves you so much, doesn't want to spend a single day not being yours for the rest of eternity.

He sobs into his hands, and Neuvillette, who's officiating the wedding, hands him a handkerchief, which he dabs at his eyes with, to no use. He can't stop the tears from flowing, because he's so happy.

And oh, you have a trembling smile on your face when you reach him, willing yourself not to cry too because you just know that if you do, you'll be a teary mess just like him, and the wedding will never finish at that rate. But you can't stop yourself from rushing into his chest, wrapping your arms around to hold him, and he holds you back too on pure instinct— buries his face in your hair as you bury yours in the crook of his neck.

"We made it," you tell him, squeezing his body to yours, smiling through the tears.

Wriothesley gives another hiccuping sob, holding you so close you think you could pop like a balloon. He leans further into you, like he wants to melt into your very person. "Yeah, sweetheart," he breathes, voice shaky. "We made it."

[belovedcloud]

Regret

pairing: leon kennedy x fem! reader

✎ REQUEST: i absolutely love ur writing!!! just read ur latest fic with plagas leon! if i'm not bothering would you ever write a slightly angsty fic where you get into an argument with leon and where u exchange harsh words to eachother? and maybe leon slaps the reader in the heat of the moment? and it turns into makeup sex (hopefully it's not too much qwq)

✎ Notes: Thank you Anon for the request! Hope this is what you wanted :) I absolutely love the idea of a heavy argument turning into makeup sex, Leon is the perfect man for this I love him sm. This is again really short and rushed because I've got a lot of work to do.

➤ WC: 1.64K

➤ CW: Leon being mean, Angst/Smut (Comfort during sex and at the end) Leon slapping reader, cunnilingus, fingering, P in V (unprotected sex), creampie, dumbification of some sort.

MINORS DNI!

It was never meant to be like this, the argument with you and Leon went too far. You knew Leon's job was out of the ordinary but was it wrong of you to want to spend more time with him? Caring for a person like him is so painful, the constant worry of him being safe and the monsters he faced hurt you like no other. However, Leon didn't see what he was doing wrong, why you were so angry about him not spending time with you. Mission on mission, things get worse - he never meant it to affect you though. His actions had consequences.

It began with Leon coming home, the putrid smells of death and blood splattered all over his body. A deep sigh escaped his throat as he threw his duffel bag somewhere alongside the hallway, walking into the kitchen seeing you on your phone. He didn't say anything, no hello or goodnight came from his lips. Dropping his keys on the counter to head upstairs for a long awaited shower. Washing off the feeling of murder that hung low on his shoulders, he comes downstairs to see you eying him weirdly.

"What?" Leon grumbled out as he took a water from the fridge, gulping it down. "It's nothing..." A hushed voice came out of your mouth. Was it that much to ask for a kiss or even a hug when he came back home? Weeks of distance made you crave for something. Someone. That someone was Leon, but looking into those dull blue eyes made you believe he didn't reciprocate those feelings you had for him. "Can you cut the bullshit for once?" A stern tone laced in Leon's voice as he threw the bottle in the bin, slamming his hand on the counter. "What the fuck is your problem?!" You couldn't help but snap back, was he being serious right now? Thoughts flooded your brain and not once could you remember when he last kissed you, let alone hug you.

"My problem? You're the one looking at me like I'm some freak! I just got back and- Fuck! It's always this with you!" Leon shouted at you, he never was like this. This wasn't the Leon you loved, it was some new profound one that you didn't recognize. Without thinking, you stood up and approached him. "Maybe show me some fucking attention for once! Instead of moping around." A scream of words thrusted out of your throat as you felt your eyes water, your body full of anger. Leon took a step back, scoffing at your rebuttal and sighed. "Can you just leave me alone? I don't want to deal with you right now." The emphasis on you tore your heart a little, you didn't do anything wrong. Not that you knew of - for him to be angry at you was ridiculous. All you wanted was to be loved, to be appreciated for what you put into the relationship.

"Leave you alone? I've been leaving you alone for weeks! It feels like a one sided relationship at this point, what's the point of being with me if-" A harsh burn spread across your face, the words that hung in your throat went dry. Automatically, your hand felt your cheek. Leon had slapped you. Why? You felt tears fall down your face as it stung the aching pain where Leon's hand smacked. He didn't know why he did it. Ashamed of his actions he took a step towards you, just for you to not return the favour. Your own legs stepping back. "I- I'm so sorry, I don't know-" His voice trailed off as he saw you sprint upstairs, the slam of your bedroom door ringing in his ears. "Wait! Y/N! Please!" His footsteps echoed the house as he ran up the stairs, arriving in front of the closed door. You had your back to it, muffled sobs escaping your lips as you felt your neck get wet. He slapped you.

"Sweetheart.. I'm sorry, please.." He started to knock on the door, until he heard your sobs penetrate through. Fuck. He messed up. Was this going to be the end? Leon couldn't afford to lose you, he loved you too much. His pride and joy, the person he loved the most. The sole reason why he was still here today - yet he hurt you in indescribable ways. Leon felt like a fool as he felt his heartbeat race, why did he have to hurt you? What the fuck was wrong with him? The thoughts dissipated into the air he heard the locked door click. Shaky hands twisted the knob of the door as he slowly creaked it open. Seeing your body slightly shake on the bed, uncontrollable tears dripping down from your chin to your shirt. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry baby.." Leon approached you carefully, trying to not alert you in any harmful way. His gaze wondering all over your body until his eyes reached yours. Pure fear corrupted your eyes as you looked back at him, however the movement of his hands slowly calmed you down. Stroking your back, he whispered sweet nothings into your ears, apologizing for his actions.

"Please, let me make it up to you.." His fingers tugged onto the band of your shorts, a slight blush appearing on your cheeks as you stared at him. "I.." Your mellow voice trailed off when you felt Leon kiss up your thighs, a slight gasp elicited out of your throat. "Wanna show you how much I love you. It's been too long." His hands made quick work of your shorts and panties, your slick covering your clit. "So fucking gorgeous.." He mumbled as he gently nipped at your inner thighs, leaving love bites on them. Quiet whimpers fell out from your lips, your hands tugging at the soft cotton sheets beneath you. Leon looked up at you, you were so pretty for him. His pretty girl. A delighted groan rumbled out of his throat as his tongue slid up your pussy, God you were so sweet. His tongue poked into your entrance, licking up the mess you were making for him as the pads of his fingers rubbed your puffy clit. "O-Oh.. Leon." Moans echoed throughout the room as your eyes rolled back. You tasted so good. A firm grip on your thigh made you shiver as his tongue lapped you up, a rhythm developed as he took his finger off your clit, his nose bumping into it instead. "Mm.. Delicious." A throaty moan left his lips, pistoning his fingers into you. It wasn't long till you felt a burning feeling in your stomach, your thighs starting to shake. "Leon, baby I-" You hiccupped your whines as the orgasm rushed all over you. "That's my girl, fuck.. cum all over my fingers baby." He adored your blissful state as you shook in his touch. Choked sobs and moans slowly died down as he pulled his fingers out of you, his tongue licking them clean.

"Please Leon.." The pleas left your throat too quick, your hands tugging on his sweatpants as you craved him. His love was like no other, giving you that warm feeling in your stomach. "Hm? What d'you want baby?" A soft smile spread across his face as he took your hand into his. "You know what I want.." A mellow whine came from you, a low chuckle leaving his lips as he started to take off his sweatpants. His cock throbbing in his boxers as he looked up at your heavenly body in front of him. "You're beautiful.. y'know that?" His hand traced up your body, gripping gently onto your side as his other hand aligned his hard cock to your entrance. The flushed dark pink tip slowly rubbing up and down your clit. He glanced back up at you, seeing your head give him a nod.

The slow push inside of you made his head spin, a raspy growl erupted from his throat as he thrusted himself fully in you. "So, fuck, tight f'me.." His hips slowly grinded into you, your eyes averted down to the lewd sight infront of you. Watching his cock thrusting in and out of you until the tip hit the right spot, your eyes rolling back. "O-Oh.." You mumbled out, feeling yourself go dumb on his dick. It had been so long that the stretch and pace felt new, it felt like love. Your hands scratching at his back, leaving red long marks. A groan of pain mixed with pleasure made his head fall back in ecstasy. "So good.." He whimpered out, subconsciously his fingers landed back on your clit.

The callousness roughly rubbing your clit, he felt you tighten around him. The wet sloppy thrusts quickened, Leon wanting to make you cum. "Please cum, please I want you to cum on my dick sweetheart." He moaned out, kissing you so passionately as he felt your climax make you go breathless. You gasped for air as he continued to snap his hips into you. "Fuck.. I love you, I love you, I love you.." He chanted as he felt his own high come over him, his cum squirting out of his tip. Filling you up so full, so warm. He panted looking at you, a soft smile spreading across your face. Love was exchanged between the both of you, the skin to skin touch melted you both into one.

"Thank you." A whisper hushed out of your mouth, Leon stared at you confused. "Hm? Don't thank me sweetheart.. here." He plucked a few tissues from the box, wiping you down. Sweet kisses gently tickled your skin as giggles elicited out from your lips. "I love you." Your mellow voice travelled through his ears, a wide grin spread across his face.

"I love you too."

likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated! thank u for reading :)

-> masterlist

[ravstars]

HELLOO this is like the first time I'm requesting here... umm so an idea came up to my mind, it's about Wanderer's little story about sewing a doll. It's on his character menu. He basically learns how to and sews a doll, and then he starts bringing it everywhere he goes... but what if his S/O discovered about/saw that his boyfriend had actually something to be attached to? IDKK feel free to do the request only if u want, if you don't mind I'd prefer a male S/O... that's it!! Ty for reading and for ur attention!!

(I find that so cute help me, HE HAS A DOLLLLL so cutie)

My doll ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა

⌇Wanderer/ Scaramouche x Reader.ᐟ

જ⁀➴Fluff: See above for request <3

a/n: I hope you like the way I wrote it, Anon! Thank you for the request, I hope you have a great rest of your day ^^. I‘m sorry that you had to wait a little. HAPPY PRIDE, LOVES <3

You knew of some parts of Wanderers extraordinary history, having become his friend after Lesser Lord Kusanali introduced you to him. He hated every second he spent with you, he‘d say, with his signature scoff and a roll of his eyes.

Truth is, he had grown fond of the idea of spending time with your reassuring and caring presence, even when he felt like he didn’t deserve it. Not that you needed to know when you could just understand from the way he pulled his hat down when you teased him on the way to the Akademiya or from the way he‘d tolerate your occasional energetic behavior even after he had a long day. Even in silence, there was a mutual understanding between him and you, no words needing to exchanged for you both to know how you were feeling.

He hated it — Feeling vulnerable to you. He couldn’t help but cave on some nights, though, looking up at the night sky and watching the stars with you when you couldn’t sleep. So, yes, you knew of his past, even if not completely and appreciated every part of his vulnerability and trust. He knew he could trust you, he didn’t know if he should, though.

—••••—

“Oh, come on, it wasn’t that bad.” Your laughter takes him out of his thoughts as you walk around Sumeru City, talking about whatever crossed your mind as Wanderer listened.

“I don’t need people to know about my personal affairs, much less if I’m involved with you.” He grumbled, clearly flustered about the encounter earlier at the Grand Bazaar. A merchant had inquired if you and the Wanderer were in a relationship, and even though true, your lovely boyfriend was too embarrassed to answer.

“So what, I am your lover, am I not?” He basically shuts down, turning beet red

“Shut it.” He pulls his hat down, speeding up to escape your teasing.

Suddenly, a rock gets in his way and he trips, sending him straight down on the sandy ground. His hat falls right off too, and he makes a startled sound. You’d think it’d cute if you weren’t just slightly worried but surprised too.

You kneel next to him.

“Wanderer?”

He has his guard up again and now both of your gazes land on what fell out of his hat.

“What is this?” You ask, snatching the object from the ground before he can, dusting it off.

It was a little and soft doll with white clothes and black hair, a waistband tied using a butterfly knot, and a clear, round tear at the corner of his eye. You pet the top of the dolls small head with your thumb before looking back at him. His brows are furrowed and he’s blushing profusely

“Give it back.” He says, but you just hold it. You knew Wanderer too well, you knew what he was thinking

“I’m not making fun of you, I like it. I love it, actually.” You slowly give it back, smiling gently.

“He’s my travel companion.” He puts it back, keeping it safe underneath his hat. You help adjust his hat and help him get up. You keep walking silently until he feels less embarrassed and finally talks.

“Thank you.” He says, mumbling quietly. You respond by humming, taking his hand in yours, which he then squeezes tightly. No one understood him like you, no one cherished him like you, no one loved him like you and no words could express your love for one another.

“Who does the doll represent?” You ask, curiosity overtaking you

“Someone from the past. It doesn’t matter, anyway.” He turns to you and , in rare occurrence, smiles at you, genuinely and sincerely.

“You’re the one that matters to me from now on. For forever.”

Forever — That sounds lovely, doesn’t it?

[stardustbuck]

I feel like atp even if there were plans to make bvddie canon theyre gone now. if tim minear is even half as petty as I am he would see that reaction and go u know what fuck you u actually don't get what you want now cause ur acting so goddamn entitled. like when tarlos fans got mad about the deleted scenes instead of appreciating them being released and his reaction was to say "okay fine then I just won't release deleted scenes anymore" (like I'm sure it was mostly a marketing decision but part of me thinks they intentionally released a scene about bucktommy just to prove a point.) idk man it's just really upsetting as a bi man to see the absolutely vile shit bvddie stans are saying and even tho I love the ship I now never want it to go canon cause they've fuckin ruined it

hey anon, at first let me agree with the fact that i do in fact also love bvddie a lot and i still love reading fics for them, the edits of them are fantastic and the fanart is S tier. it’s a great pairing with a lot of potential there IF the writers decided to ever go there but…

huge answer below

yeah, i agree. i honestly think before tommy was introduced again in 7x03 and the kiss in 7x04 that in my brain, bvddie was the most logical endgame for buck until it wasn’t.

i came into the show shipping bvddie much like a lot of new fans to the show but instead of hopping onto the tommy anti express hate train i found myself falling in love with buck and tommy together. at first i was still on board with bvddie still being endgame but as each episode aired after 7x04 i became faced with the reality of the situation (at least the way i see it) that bvddie might always be fanon and that’s ok because fandom keeps ships alive whether they’re canon or not. some of the biggest ships EVER are non-canon (i mean, cmon spirk? one of the OG MM ships?) so it didn’t really deter me from enjoying bvddie to this day. what HAS deterred me from interacting with bvddie content is toxic bvddies. i don’t like using the lil nicknames, idc if other ppl do, whatever, but i prefer just referring to certain kinds as just toxic plain and simple.

toxic shippers have made it difficult for anyone who multiships to interact with bvddie content. while there are incredibly nice & welcoming bvddie endgamers out there, it doesn’t overshadow the hateful ones in my online experience at least. i’ve blocked so many ppl over this ship discourse, which ive never had to do with any other fandom before the extent i have with 911. everyday i still find new ppl to block, you go under almost any comment section on the 911 insta and its filled with nasty comments abt tommy and only caring abt whether bvddie will be canon in s8. people projecting their hatred of tommy/lou onto the cast/crew of the show when it’s be said and proven time and time again that it’s quite the opposite. now im certain there’s bad apples in the bucktommy side as well, but from what ive seen online so far it is not nearly to the caliber of the bvddie side. ive blocked maybe a handful of bucktommy’s for being hateful towards eddie or being toxic overall, but ive probably blocked over 100+ toxic bvddies. i can only imagine it’d be worse if i was active on 911 twt which i’m not (thank god) but i have ventured into the tags before on there and let me tell you, it’s fucking horrifying how gross ppl are over there. twt is a cesspool for fandom anyways tho, the fucking asshole of fandom, it’s a septic tank really.

now im my own opinion which could be completely untrue of course, but just basing my thoughts on what i’ve seen online and interviews and such, tim seems to be really happy about bucktommy and idk how ppl believe otherwise. tim has expressed he loves LFJ and wanted him back on the show. tim showed up on set for the kiss scene. tim posting an entire youtube vibe abt bucktommy being soulmates that touches on the invisible string theory and explains how they accidentally found buck’s perfect match. tim sharing the deleted tommy scene is also huge but im waiting to see if he releases more (because i remember seen somewhere that he said there’d be more?) and if he does then great but it’s also still pretty telling to me after the whole karaoke fiasco.

oliver has said nothing but praises towards buck’s queer storyline. he quite literally said if you dont like it then watch something else. despite ppl saying he’s never interacted with bucktommy content online, that’s a lie because he has liked fanart of them.

aisha, kenneth & tracie have all expressed how they like tommy/lou and love working with him.

jlh said she loved bvddie before but is excited to see where buck and tommy go and then on an insta live said she doesn’t think bvddie is happening and was bombarded by toxic fans to the point of ending the live early.

ppl think it’s all some ruse to make it seem like bvddie is never happening so when it does happen it’s a “surprise” ……..

the nasty hate comments are doing nothing but exposing these types of ppl for who they are and that honestly to them, 911 is just the bvddie show to them. the people who run these social media accs for 911 are looking at these comments and cringing, they aren’t running to tim and abc being like “we must give these crazies what they want!” they’re mostly likely being ignored or honestly, as you said, being looked at and just reinforcing their decision to most likely make tommy buck’s endgame so as long as his schedule is open for filming.

what gets me the most about the hate these types of shippers spew online is how they aren’t embarrassed because they are so sooo convinced they will be right one day and therefore their insane, nasty behavior online will be justified. oliver stark literally left twt because of fans like this, people act like he was joking around, that he was shooting the shit probably because “he’s british and british people just have that kind of humor” which yes to a certain extent but let me just add these posts to set an example to why if oliver were still on twt he absolutely would not be happy with the way toxic bvddies are acting right now.

oliver (and ryan&other cast too) being positive abt bvddie never meant it was going to be canon of become canon one day. they do not decide these things, whether they believe it should or not. a lot of bvddie shippers come from previous fandoms where queerbaiting was there, where they were made fun of by actors of their ships, by the creators of the show! so i understand the frustration but oliver is not queerbaiting and buck is not a queerbait character when he quite literally is now confirmed bisexual and in a relationship with a man.

he’s just not the “correct” queer to these people. despite headcanons (hell even i hc eddie as queer!!) eddie so far, in canon, is not queer. by the end s7 he is still shown to not be over shannon and ruins his relationship with his son over this. ryan has stated in interviews he sees eddie as heterosexual, possibly pushing this because of the influx of ship discourse, and he’s glad to see a vulnerable and deep friendship that buck and eddie can have as a straight man and a queer man and how important he thinks it is.

every single thing that points to bvddie never going canon is like they’re being shot point blank in the chest. i get it, your ship not becoming canon sucks, but again, that is what fandom is for! shipping has never been about how canon smth is, there is 20k fics out there for bvddie and they aren’t canon. they can turn that into 40k, 100k, 1M if they really wanted to! instead they use their time and energy posting death threats, wishing death upon a gay character, bullying ppl online for enjoying a ship.

meanwhile from what ive seen bucktommys are rolling with goofy ass spy tommy theories created by antis and making jokes for our own fun.

so yes, i agree overall. they truly don’t deserve what they think they do. we didn’t whine and scream for a deleted scene. they did. we got ours without even expecting it and are having fun.

maybe if they behaved better i wouldn’t be so petty abt it. it’s a shame because of how much potential it has, unfortunately it is just not going that way atm. and even if it does one day, it is not because they paraded online with hate, it is because that’s the story tim and the others wanted to write and abc approved it.

🫳🎤

[goldfades]

ok LOVED ur blurb about trevor’s gf giving him head for the first time it’s doing something to me bless the anon that requested that 😵‍💫

can u write a similar one where it’s her first time giving head but maybe it’s just slightly softer, like she’s nervous and he literally talks her through what to do (“want me to teach you?” or something like that). he still has a dirty mouth tho hehe

OFC BABE, trevor is a sweetie at heart

─ warnings | NSFW! read at your own discretion!! soft trevor (for the most part), praise, slight dacryphilia???? but not really????? (big word for me lol HAHAH)

your hands slowly gripped trevor's cock, your nervous expression not going unnoticed by your boyfriend. trevor's gaze never left you as you did, his heart swelling with affection for you.

"it's okay, baby. relax for me, can you do that?" his voice came out softer than usual but it helped calm your nerves as you gave him a smile.

you gave him a nod but his eyebrows raised, wanting a verbal response from you. "yeah,"

"yeah? good girl. now just take me, as slow as you want." trevor slowly explained as you did as you were told. your lips wrapped around the head of his cock, his tip feeling heavy on your tongue.

"fuck, baby." trevor's head fell back in pleasure as he let out a sigh. "so good for me, huh, princess?"

you tried to adjust to the feeling of his cock in your mouth, feeling your eyes sting with tears. but you weren't gonna lying, seeing him so fucked out already made you feel so powerful ─ you had him so down bad with a swipe of your tongue.

"fuck, baby. use your tongue, sweetheart." he moaned breathlessly as he tried to keep his gaze at you. you began licking up and down his shaft, feeling him in all his glory. "yeah, fuck. just like that, keep going."

his hand slid down to grip your hair before letting out a groan. "shit, can you take all of me now?"

it wasn't just an affirmation, it was a genuine question. he didn't want you to feel pressured to do anything, his gaze was adoring as he looked down at you.

you gave him a nod as you wrapped your mouth on his cock, slowly taking him in deeper. trevor let out a groan, a string of curses coming from his mouth as he felt the warmness of your mouth.

"yeah, just like that. fuck, baby you feel so fucking good." he rambled on as his head fell back in utter pleasure, his eyes shutting. his grip was still tight on your hair but you couldn't care less, making him feel so good made you feel good in return.

you bobbed your head up and down his cock, feeling his tip hit the back of your throat as you gagged. but you kept it up until you felt his grip tighten and then pull you off.

"please," you whimpered breathlessly. "i can swallow, promise."

trevor let out a cocky laugh as he heard your pathetic whines, his cock got harder at the thought. "shit, you sure?"

all he needed was a feeble nod and his cock was back in your throat, your head bobbing up and down subconsciously at this point. and as quickly as you got back inside of your mouth, he was cumming with a loud groan.

you tasted the salty taste of his cum and you moaned as you swallowed as much as you could. trevor wanted to pull out his phone and take a picture of you, you looked so fucking hot with your fucked out expression, spit on your cheeks and chin and especially the tears running down your face.

"fuck, baby. you were so good." trevor praised as he gripped your cheeks and pulled you in for a sloppy kiss. "so good for me, baby."

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[sloanedestler]

what adam lute fics would u reccomend? preferably like one shot/two shots lollolol thanks! Also i really liked ur recent adam lute fic

First of all, thank you for the ask, anon, and second of all, sorry this took a while. Getting things done in a timely fashion isn't always my strong suit (heh), but anyway, some Adam and Lute one shots? Heck yeah!

Also, I should add that I'm still pretty new to this ship, so I'm sure there's a LOT of Guitarspear fics out there that I haven't come across, but for a sampling of some fun ones I've read so far, with the author's description, rating, and a few general thoughts of my own

Lifeline by @nutal - Adam has issues properly telling Lute how much he loves her, but she comforts him and reassures him the whole way. Rated M. Some really good emotional hurt/comfort here, and really in character dialog

Worship by @deadgirlwalking91 - Adam had never truly appreciated the gym, nor the necessity of stretching post-workout...until now. Not rated. Adam gets a little, uh, worked up when he accidentally sees Lute working out, and she doesn't seem to mind :)

Whiplash by @a-dose-of-comatose - Lute gets injured during training, and in an attempt to avoid the wrath of Sera’s paperwork, Adam decides to personally take care of his Lieutenant. Rated G. Adam insists on taking care of Lute, she's reluctant to let him, and some really emotional softness ensues

Diligent Hands by SitaraDawn - Lute has a sexual fixation with Adam's exceptionally large hands. Rated E. Yes, it's every bit as good as the description implies, really excellent smut that's in-character and very emotional

A Little Touch of Heaven by jaded_heart - Lute ruminates on how the birth of their daughter has changed both her and Adam. Rated T. This fic covers a topic I didn't even know I needed until very recently, Adam being a soft and protective dad, and it really delivers on the family sweetness

So, hopefully there's some in here you haven't read! And if anyone has any more Guitarspear fics they want to rec, please feel free to add on. I've got at least four longer fics queued up and ready to go, but I'd love to see more of what's out there myself!

And again, thanks for the ask! It really made my day to get this, and more are welcome anytime!

[crushedsweets]

ANSWERING A TON OF ASKS AGAIN

(30 asks..)

the reason i added it to my AU was a nod towards Ann being popularly (?) shipped with Tim way back in the day! her reasoning is prob just some 'i like my men with muscles and beards' or something LMFAOOOOOOO

yes!

I APPRECIATE YOU!! youre so sweet and im glad it helps !

only english!

in my au, i could possibly see her in a long denim skirt... and there was that one alpite drawing of her in the miniskirt... looked really cute LOL

please release me from my prison.

WHAT ARE U REFERENCING

let the man dance. . . must he stand perfectly still. . . ?

i think her smile is sooo perfect. shes perfect.

LOL AS USUAL, toby clocky nina EJ and kate. my fave is between toby and nina

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LEAVING SUCH A SWEET MESSAGE!!! it makes me so happy when you guys enjoy the stuff im putting out, especially since im enjoying creating it! i have a lot more free time now since two of my accelerated classes ended, so im just always thinking about.. them... LOL ty again also ur english is perfect!

i didnt care for it just cuz i loved the OG so much, but i totally understand why the creator did it - being berated and bullied and harassed for years at such a young age over a fun little character you made . . . i would want to "fix it" as well. but i think ninas original concept was scary in its own right! i think copy cat killers and true crime fanatics are haunting and OG nina reflected that!!!

HE'S GOT LAZARI thats his ..half daughter half sister figure. LOL. maybe dina too ive been thinking abt that a lot... omfg and lulu...

?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?? CHAT.

leave her ALOOOONNNEEEE SHES PERFECT THE WAY SHE ISSSS!!!!!!!!!!

i have! i read a bit about it and whatnot in 2023, but i didnt get fully into it! im too stuck in my own world ... RIP

ive drawn him once before! i really didnt like it . LOLLLLLLL i deleted it like a couple days after posting ... ill think about doing it again!

ive been meaning to draw her with them all up her right arm+both hands+back and peaking up her neck, but i keep forgetting!!!! i only seem to remember with jane , but thats cuz its like ... very fundamental to her design LOL

yea but it wasnt my thing... very cool concept, but the humor and pacing wasnt my taste!

i have actually!! way back in like 2020, one of my friends made me HAHA but i kept falling asleep during it . . .

yes.

CRISPY IS CRAZY LOL but yeah. i love her too. LOL

release him...

true.

HAHA YEAH I CHANGED IT A WHILE BACK..and now im debating changing it again... omg

thank you anon!! youre a sweetheart

ghglugghh...

[pyrodolls]

hey!! could you write a havik x earthrealm reader celebrating Valentine’s Day at the reader’s request?

heart to heart (havik x gn! reader)

warnings: gore i guess? and both of you being weirdos but its ok ur weirdos in love. there’s also a rickroll at the end.

summary: kinda funny story of havik celebrating valentine’s day with gender neutral reader!! (cuz i can’t imagine him celebrating valentines in a normal way LMAO he’s chaotic ok.)

a/n: anon… did u read my mind.. cuz i was gonna write a valentine’s themed story with havik but i decided not to bc it wasn’t valentine’s yet.. but i have an excuse now 😈 also i went off the rails with this I’M *REALLY* SORRY ANON!!

“what is this.. valentine’s day you speak of?” havik asked. you had brought up the idea of valentine’s day with him, since the day was coming up and you wanted to see if your lover was interested in celebrating with you.

“well, it’s a holiday in earthrealm. not everyone celebrates it, but usually we use it as a day to appreciate our significant others. we gift them candies or some other goods.” you explained.

“…what else?” he asked, genuinely interested in your home’s customs.

“hmm… we put up decorations i suppose. a lot of red, white, and pink everywhere. and hearts. usually people gift their partners something heart shaped.” you added.

a comical lightbulb appeared above havik’s head as soon as he heard you say that.

-

the next day, which was valentine’s day, you awoke to a box in front of yours and havik’s bed. it literally smelled like shit. did someone send you shit in a box???

“good day, my beloved.” havik greeted, sitting up in bed and looking as if he woke up before you.

“good morning, havik. did you send me this?” you asked. he nodded, gesturing you to open it.

when you opened it, it was as if havik gave you his heart.

literally. his heart was in the box.

you looked over to him and he had a giddy expression on his face as if he did the funniest thing possible.

“what? i heard you earthrealmers gave each other your hearts!”

“NOT LITERALLY.”

(real life image of havik giving you his heart drawn by me :333)

(ok ok now i’ll take it seriously LMAOOOO)

“good day, my beloved.” havik greeted. he was standing over the bed you both shared, looking strangely excited.

“good morning.. you look excited.” you pointed out, getting up out of bed.

“you should look outside.” havik grinned mischievously.

you gave him a confused look before you stepped outside to see a few bloody clothes on the ground.

“whose clothes are these?” you asked.

“these are the clothes of every person you ever wanted dead. surprise.” havik cackled. damn, he really killed them for you, he’s a keeper.

“i see..” you knew it was wrong. but damn, you wanted them dead so bad. and he did it for you, as a valentine’s day gift. you knew he wouldn’t give you a traditional gift since he’s a chaotic guy, but you definitely didn’t expect this. in your own twisted way, you were deeply grateful for what he did.

“thank you so much, love. i appreciate it.” you told him.

“that’s not all… i also made sure you don’t have any duties for today. you may choose how you want to spend your.. valentine’s day.” havik said, proudly. he was giving you the freedom to choose how you wanted to spend your day.

you chose to spend your day with him. you didn’t really care how you spent it, you were just glad to be around him. he felt the same towards you. havik refused to follow society’s traditional rules of valentine’s day. he wanted to be a little chaotic and mix things up a bit, but he understood that you just wanted to appreciate each other that day.

you wouldn’t change it for the world. he’s a bit strange and refuses to do anything traditionally, but at least he is being himself and still loves you. he loves and appreciates you a *lot* but he just shows his affection for you in a.. unique way. you are the light in his life and he would never give you up or let you down. just let him be a little weird with how he expresses his feelings, and you’re good.

(even tho he refuses to admit it, he does sleep that night in peace with you and clings onto your sleeping form like a sloth to a tree. he’s just so relaxed because he had a good day with you! a weird day. but when do you *not* have a weird day with havik? maybe you two will do this “valentine’s” thing again next year.)

[andypantsx3]

Okay I got self conscious about being annoying on the dash so I put everything into a megapost lol. Thank you guys so so so much for everything, it means the world to me. ❤️❤️

@strawberrystepmom Ahhh Kendall, thank you!!! I did have a very wonderful day and got to see some of the people I love most (and will get to see more this weekend)! I hope you also had a very good day too!! Thank you for being so nice to me always!!! 🥺

@tiphandoms Tippy my angel!!! I always have a great day when I see you in my inbox. 🥺❤️ Thank you for always being so wonderful and kind to me. I love you so much, thank you for making tumblr a safe and supportive and welcoming place, you are such a bright spot for me.

My dear anon, I did!! Thank you for making my day a special one. I mostly wish for soup and I know I will be having that soon lmao, so thank you for helping me manifest this. Sending you all of my love!!!!!

@missrosegold Omg a Prince Shouto for my birthday!!!! THANK YOU!!!! I love him so much lmao, this made my whole day and I was smiling like an idiot on the bus when I opened your message yesterday!! Thank you, sending you bunches of my love. ❤️

@suguwu Beeeeeee hi!!!!! Tragically I did not get my soup but I will be having some today. I did have an absolutely fantastic day though and cheesed a little when I saw you in my inbox lmao. I hope you had an excellent day too, I love u (and ur god of the hunt Nai) so much lol.

@nancy-reads Hi Nancy!!! I'm honored that you sent me an ask. 🥺🥺🥺 And even more honored that you like my fics so much. I can't tell you how much that means to me. I promise to have an excellent year if you promise the same too!!! I hope 2024 is your best year ever!!

@ghostbeam Oz my beloved!!! Thank you so much!!!!! And thank you for how kind you have been to me, especially this past year. You are one of the people I have followed and loved the longest in this fandom, sending you all of my love right back!!!

@mydiluc Gray!!! Thank you so much!!!! I gasped a little to see you in my inbox because I think you're so cool even if I haven't interacted enough. Sending you my best vibes!!!

THONK U MY BELOVED!!!! This made me laugh lmao, I hope you are having a great day!!

@itoshisoup Lmao Mao you are so good to me!! Thank you for letting me be a little shit in your DMs sometimes and still thinking well of me lol. You are one of the people I respect most in this fandom as a person and as a creative ksjdhskfhk so this means so much to me!!! Love u ❤️❤️❤️

@birinboom Birin my angel!!! Thank you so much!!! I hope my next year will be just as amazing as you are, then I will be a very happy girlie for sure lmao. Thank you for always being one of the nicest people on earth; I hope you had an excellent day too!!!

@namodawrites Moda!!! Thank you so much, and thank you for all that you do!!! You are so fun and so sweet and such a talented writer and I count myself very very lucky to know you. I hope you have the best day ever too. 🥺❤️

@pastelle-rabbit Amira my a-miracle!!! Literally right back at you, thank you for how unbelievably nice you have been to me (when I didn't even see ur art for 6 months... I will never live this down...) and how much you do to make this community just as fun and warm and welcoming as you are.

@milosmantis Omg no, thank you so much!!! I am very very happy with any amount of interaction, I promise!!! Hehehe I care you too. Thank you for being so good to me, it means the entire world to me!!!!! ❤️❤️

@shotorus-interact Selly my sweet potato!!! I think exactly the same about you, and even more than that, I am so regularly inspired and grateful to you for all that you do to make this fandom fun and keep everyone connected. I want to be even more like you this year. Thank you so much for everything!!!!

@acerathia Ru my sunshine!!! I promise to always be filled with delicious food lmao, and I hope you are too!! You are so appreciated by me, and I hope this year is just as wonderful as you are. Thank you for being so steadfast and bone-deep good. Sending you big love. 🥺❤️

@breadtp Bread!!! Ahhhh thank you so much!!! I am so very honored, and I am so so happy you like it. I have the time of my life on here and I am immeasurably grateful for how kind this is. Sending you all of my best vibes. ❤️✨

@princess-okkotsu Aleks!!!! I'm so happy you're still speaking to me after I made you look at that screenshot yesterday lmaooooo. Thank you so so so much!!! You always keep tumblr such a fun and interesting place and I am very happy to know you. 🥺💞

My sweet anon, you are never too late!!!! Thank you so much!! Yesterday was excellent and I have no doubt today will be as well, especially when you've started me out with such positive energy. Beaming all that right back at you too!!

@meggsngrits Meg my starshine!!!! My Capricorn in arms!!! There is no need to apologize, this whole season is ours 😎 lmao. I had a wonderful day and I'm having another wonderful one now that you are here!! Thank you for being the literal nicest person on earth, you have made me so happy this past year and I hope I can give even a fraction of that back to you this year!!

@ashguk-blog Ahhh thank you so much!!! It was yesterday but I am having just as good of a day today too!!!! This means so much to me, thank you for being so sweet and wonderful. 💕

@thoreeo Hello my angel!!!! Your ask is literally giving me the zoomies lmao thank you so much. I am so deeply honored and very very touched. You have always been so nice to me and I am eternally grateful to you. (Also we should talk!!!! I am not very interesting so you will have to do all the heavy lifting lmao, but I think you are so kind and I would always love to chat). ❤️❤️

@stellamancer Niku my sunflower!!! It was an excellent day, thank you for manifesting this for meeeee. Likewise I think you are also one of the best people on this app and I am soooo happy to have spent another year in your company. I have especially admired you for how you've handled yourself in some tough situations this year and I hope to conduct myself with even half of your grace. ❤️❤️

@threadbaresweater Lin my beloved!!!! Thank you so much!!! I think of you as like, my cool older sister lmao and I'm always so happy to see you on the dash. You radiate such positivity and understanding and I don't think my tumblr dash would be half as welcoming without you. Thank you so much for letting me bask in your light. 🥺❤️

@mangostarjam OMG FUJI I LOVE HIM!!! Lmaoooo his puffy lil cheekies oh I think I will have to eat him up instead of the soup lmao. You're so funny and so sweet and this literally made my week. I hope you also have a year that is just as bright and good and amazing as you have always been to me!!!!

@zanykingmentality Roma!!!!! This means everything to me, thank you so much!!!! This year I hope to make things that live up to your praise, and to be just as kind as you are. I hope you also have an amazing day, thank you for everything!!! 🥺💕

[doiesfav]

hii i love ur writing!! just read mr. no name, it was such a cute and funny plot i love it!!🥺 would it be possible to get a part2?

(also more importantly, hope u have a good day~<33)

*˚:✧Mr. No Name PT. 2 - Mark ||

''I wanna know your name''

Pairing: nonidol! Mark x fem! Reader

Plot: After breaking up with your long time boyfriend your friend took you to a party to get over it, you weren't feeling it but when you arrived, you met a stranger there who made your heart feel warm again.

Genre: strangers to idfk! AU, fiction, short story

Contains: smoking, fainting, wounds and ig Jaehyun is just an asshole😭

wc -> 0,8K

Requested -> ✓ || by anon

a/n: hiii! Thanks for enjoying my fic I really appreciate it a lot TT, your comment made me realise a lot of people are enjoying it as well. Although I'm not the best writer I will keep practicing to get much more better and reach your expectations, again thanks!!

for better reading experience -> PT.1

(not proof read, sorry for mistakes!)

MASTERLIST

banners and dividers are self made

After he left chuckling the repeated words ''Mr. No name'' you stayed in there to think about what just happened. The blonde guy whose name was unknown to you had an aura that probably made you have a little crush. You were drooling over him until you heard some screams down in the living room.

''Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!''.

Who was fighting who? You loved those kinds of situations, well, at least not when the ones fighting were your ex and your recent crush. ''So it was fucking you Mark, I fucking knew it'' You just discovered his name Mark, but it wasn't the most important thing right now. ''And what, are you gonna beat the fuck out of me?'' he then opened his arms to him showing how much confidence he had. ''Oh yes I fucking will'' and the fight started.

Jaehyun grabbed him by the collar and punched him straight on his cheeks which made Mark fall creating more space for them to fight. He got up and pinned down the ex boyfriend and gave him back the punch he received plus another one. Jaehyun tried to stand up but fell on his knees while Mark got thrown away by his strong hands. All of this was happening in front of you, you could have stopped the fight, yelled at them, or even called the police which wasn't a very clever thing to do since some of the guests were still minors. But you decided to just watch them fight until he noticed you.

''What? Gonna just stand there and watch while we fight our asses off?'' Those words made Mark notice your presence and when you two made eye contact he looked away trying to prevent it, ''You know Jaehyun, you are such a loser'' you said while sipping a glass of cocktail you randomly grabbed from the kitchen. ''I'm a what? Be so for real right now bitch'' He slowly got up and went straight to you, you didn't try to flinch as it would show your weakness. ''Hey don't come near her'' It was Mark's voice which made Jaehyun even more frustrated than he already was. ''Shut the fuck up blondie, I thought you were better than this'' He then turned his head towards you again and used his hands to cup your cheeks but your eyes showed no signs of fear.

Then a hand grabbed one side of your ex's shoulders and when he turned around, he received another punch that made him fall straight away to the ground. ''Fuck, I said do not touch her'' To be honest, when his hands disappeared from your cheeks your nervousness also did. Jaehyun after that punch didn't react and was left on the dirty ground, people started to worry and some even checked if he was still breathing. ''He's still breathing guys, probably just knocked out by his punch'' someone said out loudly. Jaehyun's friends then rushed to carry him away and everyone kept doing their things, it was now you and Mark between people who didn't care about your relationship. ''Great punch'' you said after giggling, ''Thanks, actually that wasn't my most powerful one'' You bursted out laughing after those words he said. ''Don't laugh, it's a fact'' ''yes I believe you''.

You two went outside to take a break from the foggy and crowded ambient inside, ''don't mind if I smoke right?'' you said as your urges to take a cig were getting bigger, ''yea sure''. You then lighted up your cig and Mark just put his hands in his pockets, the smoke you just expelled went in the direction of the wind, which was also where Mark was. He coughed after accidentally exhaling a bit of it, ''Oh gosh, sorry let's change our positions'' And before you could move your body a hand grabbed your wrist, ''no it's okay, stay where you were I'm f-'' he then continued coughing not as hard as the first time though. You had no option but to throw the cigarette away, ''it was fine, you could just have ke-'' you had to shut him up, ''Don't worry is just one cig, although you seem nervous'' he actually acted more nervous after. ''No, is just, I never smoke so, that doesn't mean you should leave it- It's your decision, I'm nobody to-'' Before he could continue you patted his head. ''don't be nervous, you sounded much more cooler in the bathroom''.

''So Mark right?'' He nodded, ''Yup, Mark Lee'', and your hand raised so you could shake hands ''Nice to meet you Mark'' He looked down and noticed, ''Nice to meet you too'' Both hands connected, and you could feel his recent wounds because of the fight. He could feel your soft and silky hands which he didn't wanna release because of the warmth of yours.

Heyyy, thanks for requesting a part two, I totally forgot there was gonna be one but now there is :))) Remember would appreciate any kind of notes!! love you guys <33

[shattersstar]

Bestie it is me, the anon from a couple of days ago, many mutual kisses for my favorite tumblr writer!!! I am a teensy weensy (read: very much) cross faded and was wondering if you would be willing to write just a little thing with the “desperate kiss in the rain” prompt from the list featuring Jason Todd or Adrian Tepes? I feel the need to be In My Feelings about fictional romance lmao

ghost of love

pairing: jason todd x reader

prompt: a desperate kiss in the rain

a/n: wrote this stoned lmaoo so twins <3 and thank u for the request ur so kinddd im actually p happy with this so here goes my first fic of 2023 besties. feedback is always appreciated!!!

—

Ghost of love bound unto your name

So it be running through my veins

Yesterday I fell out of grace

I made you feel bad again

I wanted all your reasons explained

Guess I wanted too much

Guess I wanted too much

—

Spring had made its way to Gotham, snow melting into slush and flooding the streets as the days grew longer and the winter chill started to recede. It crept into the past as singing birds and allergies were to come. It was supposed to be a time of happiness, of excitement for warmth before the general population complained about the heat plaguing the city in a few months time. But Jason watched the rain that had cleansed the city for a week already with certain disdain.

His apartment was silent save the rain’s ambiance—it hadn’t been this quiet in ages. Hadn’t been so hollow and empty since you came into his life. A presence to warm the space even when you sat in silence scrolling through your phone. Or when you cooked and hummed to yourself or when you took phone calls in his bedroom and didn’t think he could hear you sing his praises. It should’ve made his heart swell, flattered by your adoration of him, and yet it made Jason anxious. Nausea flowering in his throat at the sounds of your lies on his behalf, covering up the life he lead all while admitting how deeply you felt for him. He had heard that phone call so many times, a quick tangent usually, but it stuck with him nonetheless.

It was those moments—sweet and tender—he turned into something dark, twisted. The way you unabashedly reached for his hand at the grocery store, or called his name in a room full of people felt…wrong. You weren’t supposed to be like this with him, no one was. Jason didn’t deserve such kind words and outward gestures of love, and you didn’t deserve to be trapped with him. Stuck in something that could never really be anything. You were too good for Gotham and for him. He had always known it, tried to ignore it and just dwell in the bliss that came from being with you, but his guilt was stronger. More consuming than the feelings he had for you. It made breaking your heart painful, but a necessity.

He wasn’t yours to love, to have. He had said those words to you, “I’m not for you to love, or to be with. I’m sorry, but I can’t keep playing house anymore. This isn’t my life. You aren’t.”

His voice was cold, empty as he spoke. You couldn’t hide the hurt in your eyes, tears threatening to spill. “Then go.” It was all you were able to muster, standing in your apartment as he let himself out without another word.

He wanted to add it was because he loved you, but it felt cruel. He had to remind himself he wasn’t yours to love. Jason wasn’t for anyone.

And he believed his words, for weeks on end he told himself over and over again that he made the right decision. Threw himself into work and tried to burn you from his memory with violence and power. Jason ignored what headlines you might see—what you might think of him. He had never let himself care before, you told him what he did with that life was not for you to be apart of if he choose to keep you separate. You said it casually, with a shrug like Jason was supposed to know. Know that respect and privacy he could never ask from someone was being offered freely.

Jason supposed you’d keep your word, keep your distance from the bloody and chaotic side of his life despite him leaving you. You were good like that, honest and uncompromising when you needed to be. It made him smile despite the torrential downpour, knowing there was something good still in Gotham. Something—someone worth fighting for.

Yet, as something akin to peace washed over Jason, fate played its hand and it sent him reeling. A notification lit up his phone sitting on the kitchen table. It drew his attention away from the window he had been staring out of for a while, compelling him across the room and to read the two words that broke his heart.

I’m moving. A message you sent a minute ago, two words hanging in the ether that left Jason short of breath. He had already lost you, but this was like sand slipping through his fingers all while a tsunami rushed the shore. It made his stomach knot and guilt trickled into his chest like a steady stream. You couldn’t leave the city you had made a life in because of him. Because of the pain he caused you—no that grief, that guilt, would swallow him whole. Devour him till he was nothing, but bone to burn to ash one day.

Jason was out of his apartment in record time, not dawned in his suit, but enough tactical wear to hop across rainy rooftops safely. He ignored the chill of the rain that drenched him in mere minutes, he slicked his wet hair back and regretted his leather jacket as he landed an apartment over from yours. He huffed out a few breaths, calves flexing and whining from the amount of work he just put them through to get here. Jason steadied his breathing as best he could, grappling over the alleyway and to his surprise, landing right behind you. You were next to a small pigeon coop someone kept on the roof, the stretching piece of plywood was a makeshift roof you just fit under. You had a blanket wrapped around your shoulders, the bottom corner wet with rain water likely from the puddles on the roof.

He let out a sigh that caught your attention. You glanced over your shoulder before your face fell. Your phone was still in your hands and Jason wondered if you texted him because you were up here. Staring out into the city and thinking of him as he was you. “You’re moving.” He found himself saying, more accusatory than he intended, but he couldn’t help himself. Not when desperation wafted off of him in waves.

“Yeah, I just…can’t with this city anymore.” You turned fully, you had never looked so small before. So withered and tired. You look like you had been crying recently and Jason’s resolved weakened. He assured himself that cutting you out of his life was right, to save you pain in the long run, but the pain you wore so clearly now was a gut punch. It was wrenching and Jason didn’t know what to say to fix anything.

“When?” He asked instead.

“Not sure, Im gonna stay with a friend in another city for a bit before I figure everything out. Think I have someone to take over my lease so…” The idea of someone else living here made his head spin. This space was an extension of you—he could see your interest in what you hung up on your walls, your love in the plants littered around the space, your happiness in the smell of food mixing with the candles you burned and even your old grumpy cat belonged to this space as much as you did. It was one of the only places in Gotham Jason could…breathe. Think or not think and he was losing that and you—

“No.” He gritted through his teeth.

“No?” That wasn’t meant for your ears, he was trying to silence his own thoughts. He cursed to himself and turned away from you, rain soaking his face as his only then remembered it was pouring. “Maybe I shouldn’t have sent you that text…I think I knew you’d show up here—I’m sorr—“

“No.” This time it was for you, even if he still refused to face you, let you see the regret plain on his face. “I don’t want you to leave Gotham like this…not because of me.”

“I know, and I wish I could stay, but Jay its too hard. Being here and trying to move on is killing me.” You were calm, calmer than he anticipated. He wanted anger, he wanted you to throw his words in your face, scold him for showing up when he was the one that forced you away. And yet, you tried to apologize and were being honest with him.

“I wouldn’t ask you to stay, but I’m sorry for how I ended things. You don’t—didn’t—deserve any of this.” Jason was never one to admit his wrongs, but this was the end of something that meant everything to him once. He couldn’t let you go with resentment between you two. You let a beat of silence pass, eyes fallen to the ground between your bodies as you processed his words. Your brows pulled together and you took a step closer to him. You weren’t out in the rain yet, but stood close enough to the edge to make sure your words hit him clearly.

“What did you mean by that? Didn’t deserve…what? What we had before? Didn’t deserve a good relationship? Didn’t deserve to be happy? I know I don’t deserve how you’ve treated me since, like I never existed, but what didn’t I deserve before? You?” Your tone was jaded, it wasn’t angry, but hurt. It made the knot in his stomach twist, his heart wrenching at the thought of you undeserving of good things. It was all you deserved, it was all he wanted for you.

Jason whipped around as he spoke, breathless before the words even left his mouth, “You didn’t deserve to be in a barely real relationship. I can’t be the person you deserve to be with, I can’t offer that much of myself to you.”

Another beat, you hovered by the edge of the makeshift roof, before letting you blanket slip off your shoulders behind you. You stepped into the rain and took him in properly, soaked from head to toe, but Jason was still bathed beautifully in the moon and streetlights that barely touched buildings this high.

“I knew all of that, I knew it wouldn’t always be normal, but I accepted it Jay. I chose to look past the parts of your life you didn’t want to share, because I didn’t care. I still don’t. What we had was a real relationship Jason, to me at least, and I didn’t even think anything was wrong when you broke up with me. I thought it was actually great, for what we were working with.” You laughed at the end, watery, but your voice stayed strong. You meant what you said, Jason blindsided you more when he left you than with his Red Hood confession. His admittance to the double life he lead was a blow, but one you could digest. Jason leaving you? It was a grenade set off from within your ribcage that left no survivors. It was pain beyond grappling with the violence that surrounded the man you loved.

“But that isn’t fair to you. I can’t give you everything, but I know I’ll take everything you can give. You get half a person and—“

“I make that choice, not you. I’ll take half a person if its you. I’ve always known I’ll love you more, be able to give you more because I’m sharing you with a city hellbent on destroying itself. When you’re the only person I want to share anything with, of course you can have it all.” He was silent, staring into the dark skies and wondering what he did to deserve you. Had he suffered enough that it was finally time to enjoy the peace?

You put your hand on his arm, urging him to look. He let his eyes meet yours reluctantly as you sniffled. “I don’t need what you think is real Jason. I just need you.” Your voice was a soft plea, fingers tightening around his leather jacket. He stared down at you, so much ache in his chest for ever thinking life made more sense without you there. He wanted to apologize, again and again until his voice went hoarse. He wanted to fall into your arms and sleep for days after weeks of restless nights. He wanted to cook your favourite meals you always said never tasted as good when you did it. He wanted to forgive and be forgiven for all the hurt swirling between the two of you.

But all he could manage was a plea of his own, almost drowned out by the spring rain that washed away the cold weeks you both spent unbearably lonely, “Don’t leave Gotham.”

You nodded, “Don’t give me a reason too.”

The knot churning inside his stomach disappeared with your soft words, making him breathe out a laugh. It was surprised, relieved and everything you needed to hear. A smile broke over your face and the tears brimming in your eyes finally spilled over as you closed the distance between you two. Your hands rested on the lapels of his jacket. He let his cradle your jaw as the rain engulfed you both, foreheads pressing together as the moment overtook you two. It felt like a dream, like everything Jason wanted was suddenly in the palm of his hands and he couldn’t believe it. Believe he had let you go and somehow managed to get you back. He couldn’t decide what you deserved, but god he’d try be the person you needed him to be.

He wanted to say that, promise you he’ll try, but words failed him at times like this. Jason was all need, desperate for you to understand how much he loved you. All he could do was act, fingers tightening and tilting your head up before his mouth crashed into yours. It was hungry and pleading, begging and convincing you to stay with him forever. To know his love forever. You kissed him back with as much urgency as you could muster, just as desperate for his touch as he was yours. It was deprave how you both nearly crumbled when his teeth tasted your bottom lip. You hands had slid under his jacket, pulling you flush against him as your fingers fisted the dry fabric against his spine. He shuddered into you, pulling away with a heaving chest. You rested your chin on his sternum, blinking up at him with happy tears still overflowing. He brought this thumbs to the corners of your eyes, brushing them away before kissing you again.

His lips met yours slower this time, mending the harshness from his last kiss. It was just as needy, lips finding the corners of your mouth, cheeks and jaw before he found his way back to your mouth. Jason’s tongue swiped over your lips, one of his hands moved to cradle the curve of your skull, letting your head fall back as he left open mouthed kissed against yours. Your tongue slid over his and you wished you were in bed. Sat comfortably atop him and making out on some boring Tuesday afternoon. It was always those moments, those days when everyone else was consumed with jobs and school and life, where you and Jason flourished.

Or embracing on a rooftop, in the pouring rain, during the dead of night, while everyone slept.

It was moments where you fell into the corners of life, missed by the bustle of the city and enraptured by each other. It was all you ever needed from Jason, and he was ready to give.

—

Gonna stay humbled to this rock

Silently when I know that I belong

Tell me stay on the right track

You know I got faith and beliefs

In my life and just

I guess I wanted that much

Yesterday I fell out of grace

I made you feel bad again

I wanted all your reasons explained

Guess I wanted too much

Ghost of Love - Marie Fisker

[soobrat]

hi.. im the anon who sent u an ask about ur updating! i read your last post and it made me extremely sad :( im sorry you feel your work isn't appreciated I only found you after mosquito pt 1 so im very new to your blog and i actually find your story telling very unique especially on tumblr. im not sure how to put it but the way you portray certain emotions and how things progress through a story i can tell you care deeply about what you create which makes it even more sad that you feel embarrassed by your engagement, im just one person so i cant do much on my own but i can say your followers or engagement aren't a reflection of the quality of your work. Dont give up yet! you are a good writer and have so much potential! if you choose to stay I’ll try to continue to support you here - 🐼 (I’ll use a panda emoji frm now on so u know its me!)

one of the things that makes me sad about leaving is readers like you, while I was writing the post I kept thinking about all the people who always engaged with my content though there weren't many of them.

I want to emphasize that the biggest reason for my leaving isn't the lack of engagement, just so many other things that need to be done that take priority. It's just that the lack of engagement made me less willing to attempt to weasel it in to my schedule.

In saying that, this isn't a permanent goodbye because I do like writing and I do care for my existing plotlines. This isn't even the first time I've "retired". But I wanna take the time to thank the people active who I saw frequently in my notifs like @hwanghyunjinenthusiast and @morel-z

I know there are more but I can't think of them at the moment. I also wanna thank you, 🐼