#thank u always for reading it u don't know how grateful i am

[deesseshesca]

PAC :How will your future lover explore your body ? (18+)

I found a little name for all of y'all ... Bébé d'Amour. Vous etes maintenant mes bébé d'amour (Y'all are now my Bébé d'Amour).

Good morning pretty souls, I'm not a lovey dovey human but for y'all I am ready to do almost anything.

SALE 

Until October 31 all readings on my ko-fi is 30$, only

Choose the image that’s speak to you and allow yourself to soak ONLY what’s reasoning with YOUR SITUATION.

Rules and Disclaimer 

I am the type of tarot reader to say as it is. Nothing is sugar coated but everything is sent with good intention. If you are not ready to face some truth, you should vagabond somewhere else.

MINOR DON'T INTERACT WITH THIS POST 

MINOR DON’T READ THIS POST 

PILE 1 

Page pentacles, 2 swords (reverse), magician (reverse), page wands (reverse)

Their touch is going to make u reminisce about all the time u let someone else touch your body in ways u settle for. Like u never really wanted them to touch but you were to fucking lonely to refuse the act knowing damm well they were using u. Also they were not treating you correctly. They touch is going to make all the monster go away. All the time you were touch with little cares all forgiven to make place with memories of they’re caring touch. Some of y’all have self harm scars, suicide attempt scaring, they will caress it with so much love and thank u everytime for the fact that u stay even thought it was hard. They are grateful upon every stars that u’re self sabotaging behavior never got the best of u otherwise they would have never met u. Some of u don’t think you have a pretty pussy. Maybe u feel like u’re lips of too big or that they are not the same color as the rest of your cooch. Hey, they will to touch your pussy. Always munching with happiness. Others u are not circumcised, don’t matter they bumping their month on your dick with happiness in their eyes. Some of y’all have religious trauma, like your ex-environment made you think that sex is forbidden. Y’all don’t even like touching yourself. Even though u left a long time ago, u can’t seem to shake those fears off. They are going to take their time with u and respect which one  of your boundaries. At the end, you might still not like getting head but u are not going to feel as uncomfortable with the concept of it after their healing touch. Some of y’all have some vaginismus, I see them learning about it. So they can help u heal and respect the boundaries set by your body. I see them introducing the first toys before even going in themself. Until they are not sure u are ok, there’s no jumping the big boy. If you have endometriosis/PCOS, they will stop penetration sex and alter to fingering to make sure not to disturb the peace of the uterus before the big week. For all my pillow prince/princess today is your big day, they love leading. They don’t care if you spend the whole relationship on a pink/blue pillow. They love it for you. Their touch will still be playful. They will love to tickle u. Also they will love placing a hand on your stomach, even slepping on it. Especially my masculine energy, your pump stomach is literally their safe place. They will love giving you a good handjob while staring into your eyes (y’all probably have deep brown eyes) and caressing your stomach. 

💌 : Honestly Pile one, they are not going to be able to let go of you. Might be clingy, also they love language is physical touch. Will love updating you throughout the day. If you want to know more about that future love, you can always purchase my SOUL TRIBE membership unlocking all the extra content and extended PAC reading + the audio one.

PILE 2 

4 wands (reverse), King cups (reverse), Hanged man, 6 swords 

They love to have their hands on your private parts on all times, not in a creepy way. They would be driving and suddenly here u go, being a finger fucked passager princess. If you are an owner of a dick, u better drive with both hands on the wheel because at any moment, they may start giving u a blowjob . If you have boobs, they will have they hand on them all the time. Not even in a sexual way but because it becomes their habit. Y’all might not give a fuck at some point, until somebody stare at u in public. U end up apologizing while glaring at u’re partner making sure to get they hands the fuck out your top. They are very sensitive to your reaction. Let’s say they wanna give u a hug and u move slightly away … here comes the overthinking. If they try a new move on u in bed but u don’t moan as good as usual. They don’t reproduce it. If u give an excellent reactions, they will put that move on rotation. Also if you have painful period cramps, they will message you stomach. If you have to go regularly to the doc, they will always try their best to be there and hold your hand. Touch = love regarding your future lover. They will caress your face when u speak. Tie your hair when your hand is busy. To my burn out babe that are trying their best or my type B babe who is always so damn clumsy, they will always be behind u giving u a hand. Even when u give them head, they still worry about your well being. I’m hearing : ‘’ Baby I don’t care, if u care or not. I love when (moan) u are giving (whimper) head and are comfortable’’ before attempting to tie your hair. After a week of bad depressive episodes they will run you a bath. When they sense that u are starting to distance yourself, they will always have an hand on your waist, on your leg, shoulder any fucking where. Just to keep u from leaving with your bad thoughts. All this stand for my man in the audience, your next babe don’t play about you. Their touch heal making u realize how much you DO matter. 

💌: If you want to know more about that future love, you can always purchase my SOUL TRIBE membership unlocking all the extra content and extended PAC reading + the audio one.

PILE 3 

King wands (reverse), page wands (reverse), page cups, ace pentacles 

Straight from the beginning I’m getting a bad girl/boy from your person. They push everyone away but you. Actually they only see you. They don’t see any other women/men. They don’t even care about their own parents, the way they care about you. Your future person may have experienced deep trauma from age 8 - 10 years old, every night. Since is not the reading for and I did not ask for permission, I will not dive deeper into their lore. They touch = fire, when they lay their fingerprints on u, it is like your whole body is in heat. They enjoy mixing pain and pleasure. A fan of breathing plays because they get to squeeze your neck safely to give you pleasure. Loves squeezing you in general. If you have boobs, will love to squeeze them until it hurts. If you are a man, love to pinch your nipple until they see a little bit of blood even. They will also enjoy putting pressure on your balls while giving you a handjob. They are very experience lover. Probably have 15+ body. They love to play game with y’all. I’m hearing: ‘’ Let’s see how many times I can make u cum in a minute, princess…’’. If you are a man, they will love to eat your ass. If they lose you, they lose everything. They will probably haunt until they find you back again. They will NEVER raise their hand on u and  NEVER yell at you.  I see a vision of a text conversation. 

U : jhabwdbcaw

Them : hey babe, is everything ok …

U: auijdxja party hbduiAHBNDIL

Them: Can u give the phone (one of your friend).

U: But I wannnnnna takcfjawo to u 

Them: I know but I wanna see you. Can you please give the phone ? 

U: abxda yes hnqcfu

Them: Give the phone, love. 

Their touch is very gentle but very practical. Gently take your makeup off when u come back drunk. Gently draw into your tattoo if you are a man. Will casually lift up bridal style when they see dozing off while studying. If you are a guy, will softly wake you up and guide u to the bedroom. 

💌: If you want to know more about that future love, you can always purchase my SOUL TRIBE membership unlocking all the extra content and extended PAC reading + the audio one.

PILE 4

Knight wands (reverse), Lovers (reverse), Emperor (reverse), Strength (reverse)

Touch = understanding, will give u a tap on the shoulder to encourage you. Will caress your arm while y’all are arguing. There’s a use of: ‘’ Good girl/boy’’ in y’all relationships. When they see you grabbing the sheet, while they are down to town, that’s when they know you are on cloud 9. The only time they will stop munching even if you have already orgasm. They will love to caress your inner thighs. Pass a sneaky hand on your tits. Loves making you want more, like I see y’all making out and they are barely touching your tits while you are caressing their body. Have a very brat energy. Love to get on your last nerve because they know you will punish them. That’s what gets them going.  Has a high sex drive can go round and round in the same day but it will always start with some kind of teasing.

💌 : Y'all are going to have an amazing communication. I sense that both of y'all are yappers. Y'all are messy, you love to call each other at the end of the day and share the tea on what's going on. They will never let you go to sleep angry. I see a vision of you mad even at them but y'all still cuddling. You guy are in silence, they know they mess up but they refuse to leave on your own. Better they let you gather your thoughts with them. They may have a trauma about somebody that die on them in a middle on text con versation. That's why they can't let u go when u are mad. Don't get them wrong, they won't force u to hug them or talk. If you can't handle looking at them, they will tare at the wall, while u are in the bed thinking. If you want to know more about that future love, you can always purchase my SOUL TRIBE membership unlocking all the extra content and extended PAC reading + the audio one.

[aventurineswife]

aventurine, sunday, and any others when reader pretends to not remember them after a bad injury hehe…[angst with fluff at the end] i love giving my poor babies heart attacks mwahaha

anyways love u and ur writings btw k byeee drink water ok byeee 💕✨

“I'm sorry, but who are you?”

Tags: Aventurine x Reader, Sunday x Reader, Ratio x Reader, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Soft Fluff, Light Humor Angst to Fluff, Established Relationship, Memory Loss, Reassurance.

Warnings: Emotional distress (brief moments of fear and confusion).

A/N: thanks for the reminder, anon! 😪😮‍💨I really need to drink some water

Aventurine's eyes widened, his usual playful smirk faltering as you looked at him, confusion clouding your gaze. He reached out, as though instinctively wanting to close the distance between you, but he hesitated. Your words cut through the air, soft and fragile.

"You… you are… who exactly?"

The words stung more than he expected. His heart raced in his chest as he observed the faint, distant look in your eyes. He had always been in control of the game, masterful in reading people, but this? This was a blow to his carefully constructed facade.

"You don’t remember me?" His voice was softer now, the bravado slipping as his pulse quickened.

You shook your head, an empty feeling creeping into your chest. "I don’t think so. Sorry… am I supposed to?"

Aventurine's smile faltered, and for a moment, you saw something raw beneath his cool exterior. Pain. Fear. He stepped back slightly, trying to hide the cracks forming in his walls.

"I suppose I’ve miscalculated…" he muttered to himself, voice barely audible.

But then, you reached out and touched his arm gently.

"I—"

Aventurine looked at you, his breath catching in his throat as you softly smiled. "I do remember you, though. Maybe I was just… testing you?"

The game was on again, but this time, it was different. He chuckled, a soft, relieved sound that made the weight of his worries lift just a little.

"You're dangerous, you know that?" he said, his voice returning to its usual lighthearted tone, though there was an underlying tenderness now.

You smiled. "I think I’ll keep you on your toes."

And with that, the shadows of doubt lifted, replaced by the warmth of your presence—one he could no longer imagine being without.

Sunday stood there, his eyes darkened with a mix of concern and confusion, staring at you as if you were a stranger. His fingers twitched slightly, an impulse to reach out, to make sure you were real, that you hadn’t slipped into some other world.

"You… you don’t recognize me?" he asked, his voice almost a whisper, fragile under the weight of his own disbelief.

You blinked at him, the blank look in your eyes unnerving him more than he cared to admit. "I’m sorry… I don’t think I do. Are we… close?"

The air between you seemed to freeze, thick with unspoken emotions. His mind was racing—how could you forget him, forget everything you had shared? The kindness, the warmth, the bond he’d built so carefully with you...

"I see," Sunday murmured, his gaze softening with a hint of sadness. "I suppose it’s a part of the dream, isn't it? To forget… to lose everything."

You could see the strain in his expression, the hope fading from his eyes. "Sunday, I… I didn’t mean to forget you."

You reached for him, your hand trembling as you touched his sleeve. The contact seemed to pull him out of his thoughts, and his breath caught.

A moment of stillness.

Then Sunday smiled faintly, the sadness still lingering. "I suppose we’ll just have to make you remember, won't we?" His voice was gentle, though you could hear the underlying fear in it.

You smiled, this time with a reassurance he needed. "I think I already do."

A sigh escaped him, a soft, grateful breath as he pulled you into his arms.

"Don't ever scare me like that again." he murmured into your hair, holding you close.

Ratio’s usual air of unshakable confidence was nowhere to be seen. He stood before you, his eyes wide with confusion and an almost frantic edge to his movements.

"You—don’t remember me?" he repeated, his voice betraying a crack he hadn’t expected.

You stared at him, trying to piece together the fragments of the world around you, the details of his appearance leaving you more unsettled than anything. "I… I’m sorry, I don’t think I know you."

His frown deepened, his expression unreadable but filled with something you couldn't quite place—was it hurt? Disbelief?

"I see. This is… unfortunate," he said, voice smooth yet tinged with something that didn’t fit. He folded his arms over his chest, eyes narrowing slightly. "I expected better from your memory."

You looked at him more closely, sensing a vulnerability underneath the sharpness of his demeanor. He was, despite his intellectual brilliance, losing himself in this.

You took a step closer, closing the distance between you, your hand reaching for his, gently catching his wrist. "I’m sorry… but I’m sure we’ve met before. I just—"

He paused, his sharp breath catching in his throat as he looked down at your hand on his. For a brief moment, his composure cracked, and you could see the raw emotion behind his usually controlled facade.

"Don't do this to me," he whispered, his voice barely audible, as if the weight of the situation was too much to bear. "You must remember."

You smiled softly, understanding now. "I remember. You’re the one who always insists on teaching me things."

His gaze softened instantly, a relieved exhale leaving him. "Good."

Ratio’s usual brilliance returned, but this time, there was something gentler about him. "Perhaps next time, try not to lose your memory so easily."

And though his words were sharp, his hand reached out to take yours, a reassurance that you were not lost to him.

Me lmaoo

[jujutsubaby]

🫧 skin care daddy 🫧

☆ pairing: satoru gojo x afab!reader ☆ summary: your skin's been breaking out recently and you're stressed at work and you have your sister's wedding to attend in a week. according to the internet, this is the best spa in town, and you're lowkey desperate at this point...it can't be that bad right? ☆ tags: modern au ☆ warnings: penetrative sex, unprotected sex, oral sex (f!recieving), facial, dirty talk, fingering, flicking the bean?? idk ☆ a/n: guys i swear i am cooking in the kitchen with the asks from my follower event AND other shit OK!! sorry for the wait on everything but here is a little crumb bc i love u all!! i was feeling unhinged bc i saw two things: 1) a spa called skin care daddy and 2) a post or one shot where the reader got a facial from gojo and it cleared her skin. idk i just felt inspired to make this bc it felt the universe was asking me to. not proofread some plot with corn u know the vibes babes xx ☆ word count: 7k+

"sorry, we're all booked for this weekend and the next. we usually recommend that our customers book 3 weeks in advance for our services at the ritz carlton luxury spa." the lady on the other end of the line was objectively speaking very politely, but you were far too frustrated with your situation to notice.

"great, yeah, no, thanks." you say quickly, hanging up the phone and groaning into your pillow.

"no luck at the ritz?" you turn to face your best friend, nobara.

"they're all booked, what a surprise!" you say sarcastically, your voice still slightly muffled by the pillow.

"i mean, c'mon, y/n. your face is not that bad..." nobara tries and deeply fails to comfort you, making you chuckle half heartedly.

you get up from your bed and walk over to the full body mirror of your closet in order to get up close and personal with your face. your fingers stretch on the skin around your breakouts as you study them with determination, as if just willing them to be gone will do the trick. it doesn't.

"it's bad enough that all the aunties will say something snarky to me all day."

you're usually one to always follow through on your skincare routine, am and pm, and watch what you eat carefully so that you don't get breakouts. but you recently went through a rough patch (read: a hellish period) and your face took the brunt of the damage. it wasn't your fault you were having massive cramps and craved hot cheetos the entire week (it was so worth it) but now, a week before your sister's wedding, you're facing the consequences.

you sigh. the ritz was the fifth place you guys called that didn't have any space for an all day facial, but you couldn't run out of hope. back to the drawing board.

you open up your laptop and get back to searching on google maps, as nobara does the same thing. you're grateful she's helping you out during your, albeit, dumb crisis, but what are girl friendships for? a spa you've never heard of before suddenly catches your eye and you zoom in. skin care daddy? you read the finer print underneath it. best day spa in tokyo.

you snort. best day spa in tokyo my ass. if it really was the best day spa in tokyo, why have you never heard of it?

nobara laughs, almost on cue. "wait, dude, are you seeing this spa?" she turns her phone around and you see she's also looking at skin care daddy. "this has to be a joke, right? no way would they be allowed to open up a spa named that, right?"

"ohmygod, i was just looking at that!" you say excitedly. "it literally sounds like a sex bot made it for unsuspecting horny losers to click on and get like, a crazy virus." you both laugh at how ridiculous this place sounds.

nobara's laugh almost abruptly stops as she scrolls down the place. "wait, stop. this place has like...over ten thousand reviews and a 4.9 star rating..."

you immediately click on the place and take a closer look at the reviews and ratings and see she's right. "i don't think i've ever seen a place have this many reviews with consistent ratings?" your brows scrunch as you read aloud some of the top reviews.

"this spa has given me the some of the best facials of my life. i always come to this spa whenever i'm in the area, and the people working there are obsessed with taking care of their customers. 10/10" you're baffled by the review sounding so...weird but you think nothing of it. you make a mental note that you are kinda desperately looking for a miracle facial to help with your breakouts, so maybe you shouldn't count this place out just yet.

nobara half heartedly scoffs as she reads the next one. "i've had chronic acne and back pain for years until i saw someone from here who made me feel soo good. you'll be coming here all the time once you go. maybe even multiple times a day."

"how good can this place be if you have to go multiple times to make sure your spa treatment worked?" you say, rolling your eyes at these reviews. "these can't be real right?"

"they sound incentivized or like someone paid them to write it or somethin'" nobara surmises.

"maybe it's a cult or something," you say, causing both of you to double over in laughter.

"a cult disguised as a spa is a bit too insane, even for tokyo." nobara says as she scrolls through and skims more reviews. "aren't you looking for a facial anyway? everyone's saying they're really good here...you know...despite the..." she gestures with her hands the reviews on her phone.

"ugh, am i for real that desperate for clear skin that i'm willing to go to a shady ass day spa?" you roll on to your back on your bed and stare at the ceiling, contemplating.

"can't be that shady if it's ten thousand reviews. say what you want but that's a lot of reviews to pay money for."

nobara has a point. you grab your laptop and try to look for a link to their website and see they don't have a website. interesting. not a red flag but just interesting. maybe i have to call for bookings? you search for a phone number, but fail to find one.

"wait, are you able to find any contact for this spa?" you ask noabra and you see her squinting her eyes at the phone.

"no i wasn't but i saw a review that basically said this spa is a walk-in type of deal?"

"it's a walk-in but has thousands of reviews? how does that even work? people are probably waiting years in line to get in?"

"dunno," nobara shrugs, and puts her phone back in her pocket. "maybe it's like a 'if-you-know-you-know' type of thing so it's like popular through word of mouth of somethin'"

damn. even more shady, then. you chew on your lip and stare at the ceiling again, trying to imagine all the things your aunties will say to you at the wedding.

"27 and still unmarried? shame."

"oh, you really need to watch your diet, the breakouts will never go away otherwise."

"clear skin is the first step to find a man who will desire you, y/n."

you feel like your skin is burning thinking about the so-called "advice" you're likely to receive at the wedding. normally you wouldn't care, but your hormones have been kind of out of wack with the new birth control you started recently, and you're not sure if you can really take any form of bullshit other than your sister's this weekend.

your thoughts are interrupted by nobara getting up from your chair. "alright, i'm off to work. need a ride to skin care daddy?"

"yeah, actually," you say as you slowly get out of your bed and change our of your pajamas.

"wait, what?!" nobara says with wide eyes. "i was actually joking when i said that. are you seriously gonna go? y/n, i dunno about this one..."

"c'mon! it's like you said, it's weird but it's not necessarily shady..." you say, mostly trying to convince yourself as you put on a pair of your favorite lazy girl black flared yoga pants.

nobara seems to consider it for a moment before responding. "kay, fine. but if i take you there and it's some abandoned warehouse-"

"then we'll drive away. no way in hell i'm about to die for this place." you assure nobara, putting her at ease.

you quickly don a thrifted gray hoodie and put your hair up in a messy bun. you don't care to put on any makeup, since you're probably gonna have to take it off anyway. if the day spa isn't shady and in an abandoned warehouse.

you quickly grab your keys and wallet before gesturing to nobara to leave. she sighs, looking at her phone one more time.

"fuck it, let's go before i change my mind."

"okay it says it's just right around the corn-"

"OH MY GOD?!" you're unable to hold back your disbelief as nobara took the corner to, what you think, might the chicest and prettiest boutique you've ever laid eyes on. the front was adorned with a gorgeous light blue awning with european style bell-shaped pendant lights making it almost glow during the day time.

"what the hell...ain't no way..." noabra is at a loss for words for how fancy it looks. "they have the money to rent out a place like this but no website?"

"or have a phone number." you mumble as you open nobara's car door. you turn around and give her a quick wave. she tells you to give her a call and tell her how it is after and you promise to do so. as nobara drives off, all the skepticism evaporates from your body looking at the dainty and cute decor all over the place.

you walk in to a fairly large lobby, with a desk in the middle and waiting chairs surrounding it. the calming scent of lavender, green tea, and patchouli hits your nose, and your guard immediately drops; the aroma relaxes you almost instantly.

you look around and are surprised to see only two other women in the waiting chairs on their phone. one of them seemed older, kind of like a mother, and the other seemed to be your age, but far more demure.

"hey, there! welcome to skin care daddy! we're determined to take care of you all your needs, no matter what! how can i help you today?" your head whips around to the guy sitting at the reception desk, and you feel a bit embarrassed; he must've noticed how lost you looked here, and you force yourself to straighten up and regain your composure as you slowly walk to the front desk. you take a closer at the guy with shaggy black hair sitting in the chair in front of you.

"hi..." you squint to see the faint print on his name badge. "yuta".

"yup! that's me!" he chirps. you know he probably has to exaggerate his good mood for the sake of the job but it kind of irks you. "what can i do for you today, miss?"

"yeah, uhh...what services do you guys offer? i tried looking online but you guys didn't have a website and..." your wandering eyes can't help but look around skeptically around the front desk and the doors on either side of the lobby.

"well, we offer whatever you need, miss. just tell us what you're looking for and we'll have it. i guarantee it."

"okay, well. my sister's getting married next weekend and..." you gesture to your face. "my life has been all sorts of stressful and hormonal so honestly, i'm just looking for something that can help me feel refreshed-"

you're interrupted by someone entering in from the right side of the lobby door. it's a woman who, you must say, looks glowing. her skin is bright and she quite looks like she's almost levitating. guiding her out of the spa is a young man, around your age, with blond hair and round glasses. he's unbelievably built, with strong hands rubbing her back softly and a chiseled jaw. he's wearing what you think is the uniform of this place: white dress shirt with the top two buttons undone and black slacks.

your breath gets caught in your throat momentarily. no fucking way. this guy works here? he's so fucking...hot. you have to force your eyes to tear away from him as you try your hardest to focus back on your conversation with yuta.

yuta chuckles as he follows your gaze. "ah, yes, mr. nanami is a customer favorite esthetician here. anyway, seems like you're going through a rough time and you came to the perfect place! normally, i would recommend the oxygen facial, but since you said you have a wedding..." yuta types something on the computer for a bit. "personally, i would recommend the full body tokyo special."

you're not entirely what an oxygen facial is, nor what the tokyo special is, and you feel even more stupid asking this guy who seems to be in college for more information.

"um, sorry, what's a full body tokyo special? i think i just need a really good facial."

"oh no worries, miss. i apologize. the full body tokyo special consists of a hands-on full body aromatherapy massage and our famous milkbomb facial, which'll do wonders for your skin." he winks at you. why did he wink at you?

you're unable to think about whether or not you even wanna do anything here when a group of men barge in through the left door of the lobby, laughing loudly, before lowering their voices.

one of the men is a dark haired man, seemingly a little older than the other two and yourself, but also very much ripped just like mr. nanami. you tried not to stare at the skin tight black shirt he wore that attenuated his pecs but miserably failed. he took the quickest glance at you and gave the faintest smile, revealing a slight scar on the left side of his lip. a scar that makes him sexier? you've gotta be kidding me. you follow his gaze to the older woman you saw sitting here when you came in, who know looks completely enamored by the man.

"there's my favorite mama," the man coos, holding an arm out for her as she skipped to him. he leads her to the other door, and you could hear them giggling and talking, as if this wasn't the first time they've seen each other.

"aight, see ya later, man." the other dark haired man said to his friend, before making eye contact with you, and then giving a slight smirk to yuta. he heads straight to the demure girl you saw when you walked in, and holds his hand out to her and she blushes and grabs it.

"th-thanks for seeing me again, geto-san." the girl says so softly that you have to strain your ears to listen.

"i told you to call me suguru..." you hear him joke as they disappear behind the door.

"like what you see?" you turn your head to the last guy, who now is far too close for your liking. you take a small step back, which makes him chuckle.

"yuta-kun! who do we have here?" the man asks boisterously. despite being indoors, he's wearing dark circled sunglasses. what a douche.

"oh, hey gojo-sensei. this is..." yuta looks at you, waiting for you to say your name.

"y/n." you say a bit too late, still trying to process the barrage of attractive men that just showed up all at once and what they had to do with the spa.

yuta starts filling in the man about what you were looking for, as you take in the man who's intently listening to him. he has white hair, and is wearing the same uniform as mr. nanami was, with three buttons undone and his hair slightly disheveled. he's also really tall. like really tall. like he towers over you easily tall. but also, just as well built like everyone else.

what is this place? you knew men could work in salons and parlors and spas, but this place seemed to be exclusively run by them. and not just any men, really attractive men. and what's worse is that you were not complaining. sure, it's a bit weird but there's really no other choice for you at this point.

"ahh, the tokyo special, huh?" he says, turning at you and giving you a bright smile which you suspect he gives to everyone who comes in here. "nice choice."

"he's the one who chose it, and i'm not even sure if i want it." you say, pointing to yuta, and trying your hardest to stand your ground. you have to really make sure this spa treatment is actually gonna help and not just a scam for your money.

"well, he chose right. i've never seen you here before, so you must be new here, right?" you nod, suddenly feeling really small and embarrassed about your attitude before. god, you're never one to behave badly in front of service workers. the hormones are really doing a number on your mood. maybe you could benefit from this "tokyo special".

he leans down to meet your eyes and takes off his sunglasses, and you’re face to face with the most gorgeous ocean blue eyes you've ever seen. through an almost hypnotic effect, you feel much calmer than you did before, and more trusting of him. "well, lucky for you, i've got an opening right now. i'll help you feel right at home." he gives you a wink, and you can't help but feel there's some other hidden meaning behind what he says.

"umm...well..." you say, holding on to the thin strings of your resolve.

"gojo-sensei is the best masseuse and esthetician here, especially for first timers like yourself, miss y/n. i guarantee you'll leave the establishment more than satisfied with his work." yuta assures you with a smile.

and with that, your resolve completely dissolves and you nod and hand him your credit card and he takes the information. gojo touches the small of your back ever so slightly, and you hope he doesn't feel you shiver at his touch.

"he just loves kissing up to me so he can get a full time job here after college. i'm his favorite cousin, after all." he says, making you giggle as you walk through the two panel doors into the spa.

"thanks for taking me in during your opening, mr. gojo." you say politely, feeling grateful as he leads you down the corridor of the neat, clean, and minimally decorated hallway.

"i think you're gonna be the one taking me in," gojo mumbles under his breath while opening the door to a room that looked like a doctor's office. a single lavender massage table greets you with small cabinets on either side.

you're unable to catch what he said. "what? did you say something?"

"i said call me satoru. no need to get so formal with me, i'm just some dude who works here." he chuckles. he locks the door as you sit up on the massage table awkwardly, unsure of how you should be positioning yourself or what exactly he was planning.

gojo goes to the corner and pulls out a fluffy white bathrobe and hands it to you. you're blown away by how soft it feels in your hands -- luxury at it's finest, you guess.

"okay, i just have a quick questionnaire i need you to fill out, probably will take around a minute," he says, as he grabs a clipboard with a pen attached to it from another drawer and takes a seat on a padded lab stool. he rolls closer to you until his long slender legs are almost touching your calves.

"alrighty here...okay, first question…” the questions gojo reads off are normal enough, with various clauses consenting to the spa treatment, confirming your age, and so forth. they don’t start getting weird until later. “ok last three, we’re almost done.” you notice a shit-eating grin on his face as he scribbles your answer to the previous question. “okay, are you a virgin?”

“what?!” 

“are you a virg-”

“i heard you the first time. what kinda question is that? that’s so invasive, what the hell are you play-” you’re ready to give an entire speech to this guy about how inappropriate and irrelevant the question is. 

“it’s fine if you don’t wanna answer it, i just can’t continue the treatment if you don’t.” gojo says this so simply and nonchalantly, as if the question was about your favorite color, and not an intimate detail about your sexuality. 

“okay, fine. not a virgin.” you cross your hands in irritation. 

“not…a...virgin…” you hear him say under his breath as he scribbles something you cannot see on his clipboard. you try leaning forward to see what he’s writing (and if there really was a question like that on the questionnaire but he quickly pulls it closer to his chest, giving you a teasing smirk. “are you on birth control?”

“y-yes?” 

“good to know. last question: got any STDs i need to know about?”

oh, for fuck’s sake. this is ridiculous. does he think you’ve never been to a spa before? the usual thai place you go to never asks this many questions. “do you have any STDs i need to worry about? what is this? 20 questions?”

“you can ask them to me back, i’d be happy to answer them.” he says calmly with a coy smile. “in fact, i’ll answer them right now. no, no, and no.”

you sign in defeat. “no for me too.” maybe this is what happens when a place has like, ten thousand 5 star reviews on google maps. they just ask the weirdest questions. there’s a small voice berating yourself for folding so easily regarding his questions, but whatever. you’re ready to get this treatment over with. 

“okay, take off all your clothes and wear the bathrobe. do you want me to step outside?”

what the hell kinda question is that? of course, he’s supposed to step outside? “um, yeah?” you say it almost obviously, not feeling bad about the attitude that’s coming out of you. 

gojo raises his hand in surrender. “sorry, just askin’...” he grabs his clipboard and steps out of the room, saying he’ll be back in five minutes for the warm up massage. you quickly undress yourself. you have a feeling he’s the type to come in within seconds of knocking on the door without checking to see if you’re decent. you’re unsure where to place your clothes other than the table next to the cabinet so you neatly fold them, hiding your underwear and bra within the folds of your yoga pants and sweatshirt. 

just as promised, gojo shows up five minutes later with one knock before welcoming himself in. he’s holding a dark colored glass bottle filled with a calming essential oil for massaging, and turns on the diffuser in the room. 

“thanks for undressing,” he says, looking at the neatly folded pile of clothes on the counter. “alright, here’s how this is gonna go. i’m gonna give you a nice full body massage to loosen your muscles up, and then we do the facial last, sound good, princess?” 

your skin tingles at him calling you that nickname, but you ignore it. there’s no way i can let my mind wander like that when he’s giving me a massage. you nod your head in agreement, and lay on your back slowly, fidgeting with the ends of  your bathrobe so that you’re not totally exposed to him. gojo slowly hovers his hands over you and lightly touches your stomach, patting it to get your attention, but it causes you suck in a breath a bit too loudly. 

“gotta go on your stomach for me for this one,” he says, urging you to flip around. “gonna undo this, okay?” he tugs at the knot you made on your bathrobe and you nod. he slowly undoes it, and you feel exposed as your breasts peek out through the sides. you cross your legs almost immediately, feeling incredibly exposed in front of a fully clothed gojo. 

you quickly turn on your stomach before he has a chance to take in your body. you feel his cold fingers slowly expose your back, as he stops right before the hump of your ass. you hear him squeezing out some of the oil and warming it up in his hands as he gets to work on your back. 

you suck in a sharp breath between your teeth as his cold fingers explore the knots on your back. 

“cold isn’t it? you’ll get used to my fingers, promise,” he says sweetly, as he hits a spot on your back that’s been particularly bothering you as of late. it’s too late when you let out a moan, and you hear him chuckle. “hit the right spot, didn’t i?”

he continues to undo the knot on your back, and moan back a breathy affirmation as you continue to try (and fail) to hold back your noises. “f-fuck, gojo, that feels s-so good…” you say in between his movements. 

you feel his hot breath in your ear. “told ya to call me satoru, don’t forget it next time, princess.” this time, the nickname goes straight to your pussy. it’s hard to cross your legs when you’re on your stomach and feeling delirious with the pleasure that came from the pressure of his slender fingers. 

unbeknownst you, your soft moans are slowly making their way down to gojo’s member, as he gets harder by the second. he doesn’t want to make it so obvious just yet – he’s just getting start after all. he can’t just blow his load this close into the session, but you’re sure as hell giving him a run for his money. 

“feel good?” you moan in response. gojo slowly inches his fingers down closer and closer to your ass, until it reaches the hem of your bathrobe covering it. “gonna move this down so i can do your legs, yeah?”

gojo will admit, he was a bit too excited to see your ass as he removed your bathrobe down before you could give a proper “yes” but it didn’t matter when you’re soft breaths were giving him the answer he needed. it takes everything in him to not knead the rounds of your perfect ass (he swears your cheeks were made for his hands) and move straight to your calves. 

he slowly massages the soles of your feet and calves with the oil as he moves closer to your thighs, all while relishing in your sweet moans. once he’s at your thighs, the real fun begins. gojo knows this routine like the back of his hands. 

you hear him sigh in confusion. “is everything okay?” you turn your head slightly to see him. 

“sorry about this princess, but you’re gonna have to spread your legs a little bit for me. it’s hard to get every inch of you warmed up, otherwise.”

you obey him almost too easily, and shift your thighs so that there’s more room for him to touch with his fingers. gojo’s hands reach up to slightly cup your ass, before his thumbs slowly slide into your inner thigh, lightly massaging you.

your breaths are getting shallower and louder, and you pray he doesn't go any closer to your pussy so he doesn’t see how soaked you are. you’ve never had a massage like this before, but you also don’t want him to stop. 

gojo’s fingers play with the space of your inner thigh before he spreads you apart, exposing you. you breath catches in your throat, and he performs the next part of his act. 

“we’ve got a pretty unconventional way of massaging our clients, princess.” you hear his voice straining. “gotta make sure you’re relaxed everywhere, but you gotta let me take care of you. think you can do that? all you have to do is relax, and let daddy do everything for you.” you can hear the lust dripping from his voice, but to be honest, you couldn’t give a shit at this point. 

“y-yeah, please, satoru, whatever you want. please, i just…i just feel so good right now,” you say, your eyes shut tight, and your hips practically squirming under his touch. you think you might go insane if he doesn’t touch you there in the next second. 

hook, line, and sinker. who’s gojo to deny your request? he graduated top of his class at his cosmetology and esthetician university, after all. his fingers glide almost too easily between your folds as he starts playing with your throbbing core. he can feel how needy your pussy is for his hands as he spreads your slick all over your core. 

the pleasure immediately gets caught in the pillow that muffles your moans. fuck, so this is what all the reviews were talking about. you feel his fingertips dancing around your clit and you want to shout at him to pay attention to it. 

“s-satoru~ p-please…i need you right there…” you say in between your moans. 

“where? here?” gojo’s finger taps your clit lightly, and it makes your entire body twitch with pleasure. he has to press down on the small of your back to keep you place as his fingers rub circles around your bundle of nerves, making you whimper. you unconsciously grind your hips against his fingers, trying to get close to your release. 

“need a better angle. face down, ass up.” gojo commands, and your body conforms to his words. you prop your lower body up with your knees while your face is sideways against the head of the massage table. he uses this now better angle to really rub his fingers into your folds and bundle of nerves, sending electricity throughout your body. you feel the dam building up inside you and threatening to break. 

“satoru~ i’m-i’m getting c-close…ah~” you hands grip on to the sides of the massage table as you brace for the earth shattering orgasm to rip through you, and with gojo’s deft fingers, you’re on cloud nine in no time. 

your body slumps back down and your eyes roll back as the vibrations of your release still radiate through your body. you hear  your pulse pumping through your head as you try to catch you breath, but you feel gojo’s now warm hands flip you on your back, and his face inches from yours. 

“you took that so well, princess. we’re not done, yet. there’s still another part of your body that needs to warm up.” you don’t have time to process what he means as he inserts two fingers into his mouth and then deep inside your entrance. your gasp is muffled by his mouth connecting to yours, hard, teeth and all. his fingers are long, and they easily find your sensitive g-spot as they curl upwards and bully your internal bundle of nerves. it’s quite embarrassing how quickly you’re ready for another release, and how hungry your entrance was for his finger, practically sucking them in and clenching around them immediately. 

“f-fuck~ i’m about to-” you don’t get to finish your sentence, as another orgasm rips through your body. gojo kisses you again to block your moans, and your hands wrap around his neck to pull him even closer to you. he playfully bites on your lower lip as you ride out your release on his fingers. 

gojo’s kisses turn into soft quick pecks as your breathing steadies and your eyes can focus again. “we’re not done yet,” he teases, slowly taking his slick coated fingers out of you. 

you don’t even have the energy to respond back as he flips you on you back. through heavy eyes, you look back up at him, biting back a moan as he restarts rubbing circles on your extremely sensitive clit. he needs to take off his shirt and fuck you already. 

“need something?” gojo teases, sensing your neediness from just your eyes. 

“take off your shirt, dumbass.” you say through gritted teeth. 

“try again.” he presses harder on your clit, and you let out an unsanctioned yelp through your teeth. 

“f-fuck~ please take off your shirt, dumbass.”

he smiles. “well, if you insist…” he rolls his eyes, feigning inconvenience, but the slowly growing tent in his pants says otherwise. gojo unbuttons his shirt, revealing a perfectly sculpted torso. now this is just unfair. 

“geez, my eyes are up here.” he teases, smirking at you as you quickly meet his eyes and feel your face flush. he unbuckles his belt and you slowly sit up from the massage table. you’re overcome with the urge to touch him, everywhere. you hook your finger to the belt loop of his pants and pull him closer to you. 

gojo smirks as he wraps his arms around hips and leans down to kiss you deeply. you feel your core ache for his touch again as his tongue explores your mouth again. you trace his perfectly sculpted torso, the indents of his abs slightly sweaty to your touch. your hands slowly make their way to the zipper of his slacks, but gojo immediately grabs your wrist to stop you from taking them fully off. 

“not just yet…” he murmurs in between kisses. while his lips are still locked on you, he slowly pushes your body back on the massage table and starts kissing down your bare stomach, the measly bathrobe long since discarded somewhere on the floor. gojo leaves small wet kisses along your body until he reaches your inner thighs. 

you suck in a breath as you involuntarily spread your legs for him, earning an enthusiastic hum from gojo, who’s still continuing to leave a trail of kisses that are inching closer and closer to where you need his mouth to be the most. “p-please~” you moan, your eyes closed in bliss. 

“please what, princess? use your words,” gojo coos, coming face to face with your soaking wet core. he blows on the sensitive bundle of nerves, causing your legs to twitch.

you can’t stand his fucking teasing but you need to be eaten out, so bad. “f-fuck y-you, gojo~” you say, pushing your core up to his face, trying to aim for his mouth before he easily pushes your hips back on the table. you hear him tsk in disapproval, and tears welling up in your eyes in desperation. “please, your tongue…inside me…please~” you whimper weakly. 

“since you begged so nicely…” gojo says before he immediately plunges his tongue inside you, almost making you scream. his tongue expertly explores your folds and sucks on your clit, making you inadvertently grind on his face. “y’taste so delicious, princess,” he says between licks as he eats you out like it’s the last pussy on earth. 

his ministrations with his tongue has you teetering on the edge in record time, and you’re threatening to spill within minutes of him eating you out. as the third wave of pleasure washes over you, you don’t have the energy in you to ask for permission as you feel your body tingle in the aftermath of it. you think you made a mess all over the massage table and gojo’s face, but you don’t have it in you to care as your eyes roll back. 

you feel gojo unbuckle his belt and take off his slack and underwear, exposing his hard member in his hands. you can see the precum leaking out the tip as you weakly lean on your elbows to prop yourself up. 

“see, princess, all those questions did have a reason after all…” he says in between breaths as he strokes himself, looking at your naked glistening body. you spread your legs further in anticipation of feeling him. “but there you were, being such a fuckin’ brat about answering them…” gojo says, eyebrows furrowing as he brings his tip closer to your core and you bite your lip in anticipation. 

“guess you better fuck the attitude outta me, then?” you say, looking up at him through heavy lidded eyes filled with mindless lust. you don’t even care about the consequences or who hears or even if you get your facial – you just need him. every part of your body craved him. 

gojo wastes no time at your suggestion, his tip entering you as you let out a lecherous moan. you feel the initial pain of his larger than average member tearing your tight entrance apart, and bite back a moan. gojo grits his teeth as he lets out a steady throaty groan. 

“fuck, princess. so fuckin’ tight. sure you’re not a virgin?” 

“s’too much satoru, y-you’re huge…ahh~” 

“too bad, princess.” he says, surprising you as he starts thrusting agonizingly slowly into you, bottoming out and effectively reaching the sensitive spot inside you. pain slowly turns into pleasure as you indulge in the feeling of your g-spot getting kissed by his member – the spot that you can never reach by yourself using your own fingers.  

“f-faster, please~” you urge gojo, and he obliges almost immediately, quickening his pace. he bullies your sloppy and wet core, as he watches your titties bounce with every thrust. unlike most people his age, it’s times like this where gojo realizes he really fucking loves his job. 

he reaches out and gives your titties a rough squeeze while he remains unrelenting in his pace. he feels your pussy clench around him, and he knows you’re close, and if he’s being honest, so is he. but he cannot cum just yet, and definitely not before you do. gojo abandons your titties and slides down his fingers to your clit as he starts rubbing inelegant circles around it, getting you closer and closer to the edge. 

you feel the dam breaking once again as the combination of him rubbing and fucking you comes to a climax. the orgasm travels to every corner of your body, as you see stars in your vision while gojo fucks your brains out. you hold on to his shoulders to steady yourself. based on how sloppily gojo is getting, you can tell he’s about to get close, too. you’re about to brace for him to finish inside you, when he abruptly pulls out, earning him a confused look from you. 

“lay down,” he commands more than asks, as he hastily pushes your chest down on the massage table. your sweaty skin sticks to the faux leather, but you don’t pay attention as he moves to the side of your face, holding his soaked member near it. 

gojo starts stroking his throbbing leaking member sensually, and you innately open your mouth and stick your tongue out. so this is the facial? the dots connected in your head at the same time gojo’s ropes of warm cum decorated your face – chin, cheeks, mouth, and all. you hear gojo’s throaty groans as he finishes on you and make sure not a single drop that gets on or near mouth gets wasted, swallowing pridefully. 

gojo leans closer to your ear as he catches his breath from his climax. “that’s the milkbomb facial,” he says cheekily, and you can’t help but giggle. you both take a couple more seconds to catch your breath. you watch gojo as he puts on his pants and tucks in his shirt, looking like he didn’t just fuck the shit out of you. he runs his fingers through his hair quickly as he goes to the counter and pulls out a warm eucalyptus towel as he takes his time to gently wipe your face and body. 

“that was fun,” you murmur, looking at the ceiling, finally understanding what the reviews you read about this earlier place meant. you definitely came here, multiple times in one day for sure. 

gojo chuckles as he goes over to wash his hands and you notice his forearms are glistening with your release. “that’s why we’re the best spa out here, princess.”

you notice your legs shaking slightly, but you manage to hop off the massage table, slightly dazed. gojo notices and helps you get on your feet and put on your clothes. the entire activity is soft and gentle compared to how he was just a couple minutes before. 

everything that you both have done in the past hour finally dawns on you, and you suddenly feel very shy despite whatever the contrary happened on the massage table. it’s so awkward now, like, what do you guys even talk about now? does he do this to everyone? is this their entire schtick?

“do you…do this with all your clients?” you whisper to him as you follow him out into the hallway to the exit. you cross your hands tightly to your chest, as if it’s shrouding you from other people finding out what happened in the room behind you. 

“ah, i’m not one to kiss and tell.” gojo puts his hands in his pockets and glances back at you, giving you a quick wink as you follow behind him, trying to keep up with him as he turns corners.s

“oh, so you do do this everyone, huh?” you challenge, your shyness slowly melting away with gojo’s playful tone.. 

“did you enjoy it?”

a pause from you.. “yes.”

“then don’t worry about it, kitten.” gojo pauses before he opens the door and turns to you. “listen, i wouldn’t mind if you came here again for the tokyo special, you know. i’ll even give you a discount, too.” he says earnestly. 

you let out a giggle. “oh? a discount?”

“yeah, the tight pussy discount.”

“shut up!” you say, and you playfully smack his shoulder, and you both laugh. 

“so… is that a yes? i’ll see you next week?” 

you bite your lip. “maybe, i dunno.” you give him a wink before opening the door, and you both know fully well that you’ll be back on the massage table again in no time with gojo pounding into you. 

needless to say, gojo wasn’t lying when he said they were the best spa in town because by the time your sister’s wedding came around, your face was quite literally glowing. 

“wow! y/n – you’re just looking so radiant today! what’s your secret?” an auntie who’s name you cannot remember gleams, looking at you. 

you smirk, and try to hold back the heat from flushing your cheeks. “oh, just a really good facial,” you say. technically, you’re being honest, right?

“jesus, dude. is this all from skin care daddy?” nobara says, as the tenth person from the wedding compliments your skin. 

“you have no idea. they really know what they’re doing.” you say nonchalantly. you pull out your phone and text a recently saved number. 

you: got any slots for a tokyo special tomorrow?

within minutes you get a response: 

gojo: u know i do babygirl. btw a new guy just joined our spa. hope it’s cool sukuna joins to observe  😈

[thewriteadviceforwriters]

Hello! I just found your blog and am very grateful there’s someone out there who’s trying to help people like me with my writing endeavours 🙏

I do have a question about plot I was hoping you might be able to help me with? Essentially, I know what I want my plot to be, but as I’m writing it out, I just can’t seem to make the story flow? Like I can write point 1 and I can write point 2, but u can’t connect them.

I don’t know if this makes sense. I’m sorry if it’s confusing 😅 But I’d appreciate any help, and thanks for reading this. Feel free to discard!! 💕💕

Sorry if this response was a bit late! Thank you for this question!!!

I'm so glad you stumbled upon my blog and that you're finding the content helpful. I promise, It's writers like you who inspire me to keep creating these resources. 💕

I totally understand the struggle with plot flow - it's one of the most common challenges new writers face. You don't need to worry, you're not alone in this! I've been there myself, especially with the projects I'm currently working on. and I'm happy to share some tips that might help you smooth out the tricky transition between your plot points.

First off, it's important to remember that a well-paced, cohesive plot doesn't just happen - it takes work to craft the "perfect" seamless narrative. But the good news is, there are some techniques you can use to bridge those gaps and keep your story moving forward in a natural way.

One thing to consider is your character's motivations and how they drive the plot forward. Ask yourself: What is my character's goal in this scene? What obstacles are they facing? How do those obstacles create tension and push the story onward? Grounding each plot point in your character's inner and outer journey can help you find those logical transitions.

It also might be helpful to take a step back and look at the bigger picture of your story. Try mapping out your major plot points on a timeline or outline. This can reveal areas where you might be missing crucial details or inciting incidents that would naturally lead from one point to the next. I've tried this multiple times and it really helped me.

And PLEASE don't be afraid to experiment! Try writing different versions of those tricky transitions - maybe your character reacts in an unexpected way, or an external event could shake up the status quo. Play around until you find an approach that feels organic and true to your story. Your story doesn't need to be linear, it can truly change however many times you want, especially during revision until you publish (if that's what you choose to do.)

Most importantly, be patient with yourself. Developing a compelling, well-structured plot takes time and practice. The more you write, the more you'll hone your skills and gain an instinct for pacing and flow. Pacing and flow is a really big issue for me. Sometimes it makes me even want to rewrite my entire draft. However, I make sure to know it's my world, my characters, and my story. I can change switch around any time I want.

I hope these suggestions give you a helpful starting point! Let me know if you have any other questions - I'm always happy to brainstorm and offer feedback. Wishing you all the best in your writing! 🙌 - Rin T

[reticent-writer]

imagine reader, muzan’s wife (aka: his only true equal. he gave her so much of his blood it almost killed them both), betrays him and joins the demon slayer corps after regaining her humanity (u can decide how that happens). since she’s his only true equal, he has no control over her whatsoever like with other demons, and he cannot read her mind. he’s absolutely heartbroken and upset when she betrays him. she joins the trio + rengoku on the mugen train without their knowledge. she saves rengoku’s life with her blood demon art and kills akaza. but…even after all that, can the trio and rengoku trust her? after all, she’s just as powerful as muzan and came out of nowhere to help…. (tanjiro and nezuko are on her side for sure; he can smell that she’s being honest about ‘wanting to make up for the things she did before she regained her humanity’. rengoku is grateful for her help, but overall…he is suspicious.) she leaves before the sunlight can reach her, and everyone is left wondering about her….

A/n: Sorry this took so long, summer has been kicking my ass more than school. coincidently I have a story like this in mind except with Muzan's son and the mother has brain damage.

✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･**･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　

You married Muzan while he was still human

When the doctor turned him into a demon you like the amazing wife you are took the same medicine so that you could be a demon with him

For centuries you and Muzan have lived and loved together

You had followed him blinded and caused many deaths

When he created the moons he got more hostile

he had changed completely and even threatened to kill you

The first time that he hit you was out of rage after a meeting with the moons

He had slapped your head clean off, it hurt like hell

he regrated it but he didn't say anything

You had decided he had gone too far and needed to be stopped

After that you left for close to 10 years, you had started speaking to the current head of the Ubuyashiki's, Kagaya

You had told the young head many secrets, you confessed about every crime that you had committed

He had forgiven you and welcomed you into his family with open arms (after consulting his family of course)

although you never met any of the Hashira you know of them

and currently you were following Akaza after Muzan ordered him to kill the boy with the hanafuda earings

You were at the edge of the forest, judging to see if the fight was going to end in the flame Hashira's death.

You watched as the slayers fought with his whole heart. His speech really set your heart ablaze, you almost missed your time to intervene.

"Akaza, I am so sorry." You whispered into his ear as you teleported behind him. You cut off the arm that was heading towards the hashira's stomach and stabbed your nails into his neck, giving him a lot of your blood. (Muzan's and your blood don't mix and cause the body to implode or in a demons case their body disintegrates)

"Ma'am?" That was all Akaza could say before he is body went away with the wind.

You took a deep breath before looking at the astonished faces looking back at you.

"A DEMON KILLING A DEMON. WHAT'S HAPPENING" A boy with yellow hair screeched from the side of the train.

After that you had gained the respect of the Hashira (with the exception of a few *cough cough Obanai and Sanemi*)

Rengoku is very thankful that you saved his life but it also conflicted cause he was saved by a demon

Tanjiro trusts you, he knows you are genuine with everything you say

Nezuko is adorable, she always runs and hugs you when she sees you

Your kids with Muzan never lived long so being around the siblings was very refreshing

Inosuke wants to fight you, he always loses and hates it but he hates the fact that you hold back even more

Zenitsu is afraid of you, he avoids you at all costs

✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･**･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for calling a (now ex-) mutual a stingy asshole?

So to start, I (NB20) am in a pretty rough situation, I'm facing homelessness soon, transphobia at home and work and my hours have been getting cut resulting in me making even less money that can sustain me. I have a toyhou.se forum post up stating I have emergency commissions open to help me out and to please support me if you can. This is where the situation begins. I have a mutual on toyhou.se who I'll call Apple (MTF22) I talk to sometimes to the point I'd say we are friends, not super close but friends nonetheless. She made a bulletin telling people about my commissions and to please comm me if they could which I'm very grateful for since I did get a few customers from her because of that. The thing is, a few weeks later, she made a bulletin talking about how happy she was so many commissions she bought were finished around the same time and posted all of them with the artists tagged in the post. It was honestly... quite a few, I'm talking like 9 pieces of art of her fursona and even a custom vtuber model she got of her sona. I was going to reply all happy for her, but it made me think... how much did she spend on those commissions?? So I went through all the artists socials to find their commission prices and came to a total of fucking $385!!! More than half of my current goal I'm trying to make through commissions to stay out of homelessness!! So I messaged Apple saying since I saw she bought a few commissions if she was interested in buying a comm from me. She replies saying "Ohh! I'd love to <333 but im just not in a place to buy any more comms right now :< sorry >.<!!" So I casually reply really? because it seems like your in the perfect place to help me out after already spending over $300 in commissions. She tells me she's sorry and really wishes someone would be able to help me out but she just wasn't that interested in my art or a custom to which I tell her she could've easily donated to my ko-fi which I have always had since she clearly has money to spend? To this, she straight up IP blocks me. So still fucking annoyed, I vented in a discord server I share with a few friends from being in a few shared CS together, saying how annoying it is rich assholes like her would drop half a thousand for a picture of their fursona but don't even blink twice at their so called friends. anyway, one of my friends takes a look at Apples th profile and notices she has a new bulletin up and sends me a screenshot, but anways the bulletin reads like "hey!! just saying, but please dont come into my dms acting like you know my financial situation better than i do, just because i buy a lot of commissions doesnt mean im made of money! and please dont think that me commisioning artist 1 means i hate artist 2? thats so weird, thanks!!!!!" and seeing all their subscribers just kissing her ass pissed me off so i made my own bulletin that just stated "i thought it was pretty fucking weird to know how bad ur friend's situation was and to go buy a bunch of comms instead of buying a comm from or even throwing a buck to help me out? like yeah im gonna think i know ur situation better than u, you stingy fuck!!!" Anyway, she mustve been block evading (which I reported her for) since she unblocked me, took a screenshot of my bulletin, then went on about how she lived in an abusive household; her dad had thrown her into a sink and chipped her tooth, bruised half her face and scarred it pretty badly. She bought a bunch of commissions immediately afterwards in a panic to make herself feel better, paying everything with her savings. Which to me.. isn't an excuse. Ive been hit and abused and still found scraps of money to pull together to give to mutuals who need it and Ive been bumping my own post like crazy and she had literal weeks to donate or comm me. Not to mention Ive had exmutuals of hers come to me saying that shes never donated anything to them either despite advertising their posts but always had money for plushies, comms and other crap, meaning Im not alone in thinking shes a stingy asshole. This is getting long, so here, tumblr AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[nightcolorz]

I stumbled on your blog and i love it sm!!

Its so weird, because i am a huge Marius fan, and you put many reasons why he is my absolute favorite character as things why he SUCKS! Its so cool to me, to read something so accurate and then have someone put out a completely different opinion on it! (i do not think he is Good, none of them are. But i think he is cool, his better qualities resonate with me the most of all the characters, i love lore, and i love reading about him the most)

There are few things, that i do not understand and it bothers me endlessly! I just can't figure out where some readings come from, very sinserely (because i want to respect other readings and interpretations), maybe you could help me understand?

First: that Marius dislikes being challenged and tries to "keep Armand to himself"(generalizing) - as i read it, Marius prefers people who challenge him, can stand up to him. All of his paramours are like that - Pandora, Bianca, Armand, Lestat, Daniel..even Botticelli actively defy him, in a way other characters don't and Marius himself is vocal on that being something he admires about them. He does not know how to deal with that, oh no, but he loves it - the fire he himself does not possess. He also actively helps Armand learn about his culture and family, ready to be left behind when they visit Kievan Rus. He also never shows any type of concern about Armands "daytime" personal connections. As i remember, he encourages it decpite objections, actually.. My personal reading is that most drama and abuse between Marius and Armand is about Marius refusing the codependency Armand desperatly wants. (and them being oppisitely unhealthy about that)

Second: there is a notion, that Marius would not want Armand to grow up? And i do not understand where it comes from at all... Marius actively states (and thinks) that his own wish is to see Armand grown into a Man and he refuses time and time again to turn him before then (or to turn him at all) , until Armand is on the deaths door. (i also saw a thing about shaving, but all of them are shaved before the turning as an old ritual, canonically, i believe, only Santino is unshaved so. I might be wrong tho lol. One of canon reasons (again, if my memories are not faulty) - facial and body hair might go in and out of style, so clean shave helps them blend in better)

I you would spare some time to let me understand where those come from i would be forever grateful, because i sometimes think i am blind (and i might be! Thats why i ask. I am a bit scared that i might be percieved in bad faith, but if i have a blindspot i will not see it myself, so getting outside help is the only way haha)

I hope you have a great day! Thnx for the very least reading my ask!

(this is going to be slightly shorter then I initially wanted it to be bcus I wrote a whole essay and tumblr DELETED IT, so I’m so sorry ur going to get a condescend version of my thoughts 😰 I hope they still make sense, anyways)

Thank u sm anon ur so nice omg 🥹❤️ it makes me so happy that u like my blog!!! Don’t worry at all about coming off as bad faith u only come off as respectful and curious to me. I’m going to answer ur questions the best I can! 🙏

I think that the reason a lot of my Marius posts seem to contradict parts of canon is bcus Marius is a very self contradictory character. His wants are often in conflict with each other, and in his relationship with Armand he is always warring between conflicting desires.

First: I definitely agree that Marius seeks out people who challenge him and does rlly enjoy it (to an extent lol). but the way I perceive it, marius likes to be challenged *to an extent*. He doesn’t want a partner who will be weak and docile with him, he wants a partner he’ll need to fight into being docile and he wants to loose that fight<3.He prefers someone with some fire in them, clearly, based on his choice of lovers lol. And I think this is bcus Marius likes the chase, like any vampire. He likes the thrill of being with someone who makes him hurt for it a little bit, he likes fighting and arguing and struggling to stifle a spark he knows is too bright to put out. But also, like most ppl lol, Marius likes to be challenged only so much as he isn’t challenged to the point of having to change himself. He doesn’t want to change his perspective, whenever a partner of his gets him to rethink how he thinks or acts he tends to get rlly mad. He wants to be challenged as long as it’s fun, if he’s uncomfortable or feeling like he might actually adopt a new perspective or change as a person he puts a stop to it. At the end of the day he needs that teacher and student or master and subordinate dynamic to stay in tact. He likes to be challenged but he doesn’t like to be weakened or caught off guard in anyway that makes him question his authority or his strength.

When it comes to Marius helping Armand rediscover his culture, yas! This actually is a good transition bcus this is also a good example of what I’m talking about when it comes to the being challenged thing. Marius is happy and eager to help Armand heal from the demons of his past by rediscovering the family and culture hes forgotten, so long as Armand is obedient and answering to his call at the end of the day. Marius is happy to be left on the sidelines, up until armand starts disregarding his authority and moving away from him on his own path. After coming home from Kiev Armand realizes that he doesn’t gain anything from learning from Marius and he would rather learn on his own by discovering himself and processing what this new culture means to him. And Marius let’s him have this, until he realizes that he’s loosing his control over Amadeo and he is not going to come back to him without a push, and he beats the absolute shit out of him 😭 again, challenged to an extent.

Second: when marius first buys Armand he explains in blood and gold that part of why he chose Armand was bcus he wanted a vampire companion in Bianca, but he felt too guilty to turn Bianca bcus she was a bright young woman with a future ahead of her, so he chose Armand to be his future vampire companion instead bcus Armand was broken enough to not have a chance of a future anyway (therefore turning him is guilt free). Then, marius learns very quickly that Armand could easily have a future just as bright as Bianca, once he’s under his care he starts to prosper, and he realizes that turning him into a vampire would be equally as cruel as turning Bianca. So his motive changes, and he decides that his desire to turn Armand is wrong and he should instead give him the chance to live a full human life just like any of the other boys. Marius wants this bcus he knows that it’s the right thing to do, to give up the person he loves for their own good. But it’s also, deep down, not what he wants at all, bcus it agonizes him to think of a future where he doesn’t have Amadeo. So this creates this self contradictory mess, where Marius is aiming both at the same time to turn Armand into a vampire and also to let him live a human life. He starts doing contradictory things, like feeding Armand his blood and exposing him to vampirism + getting him hooked on it, and then sending him out to “experience humanity” bcus that’s what Marius wants for him.

It caused Armand to be driven absolutely insane, bcus he’s being communicated two different things about what Marius wants for his future. I think Marius’s conflicting desire causes part of Armand’s desperate begging for him to turn him. Armand is so fed up with this mind melding conflict he just wants Marius to rip the band aid off and do it 😭 cuz they both know it’s what they both want. And Marius knows that this is the terrible abusive option, and he can’t get Armand to see this bcus Armand is too far deep in his love brain.

So my answer is, Marius wants Armand to grow up bcus he knows that’s what’s best for him, but he continues to hold out on the possibility of vampirism and refuses to cut ties with Armand bcus he rlly does want to turn him against his better judgement, which in my opinion reads as a desire to keep him young, under his control, in that limbo stage where he doesn’t need to make a decision. Partly bcus if Armand is young and compliant and his body isn’t changing the clock isn’t ticking and Marius doesn’t have to confront that his choices r either loose Amadeo or ruin him.

when it comes to the “shaving Armand was part of a vampire ritual” personally I don’t remember that? It’s not that I don’t believe u, that could totally be accurate and it definitely sounds like smth that would be canon, but I’m struggling to remember if I read that and forgot. I’ve always perceived the Marius shaves Armand cuz he wants to preserve his youth thing as accurate bcus it’s interesting and makes sense for the characters and I don’t remember anything that contradicts it lol, I also don’t remember any other character being shaved pre turning as a ritual besides Armand so I didn’t consider if it was a vampire thing. but u could be right and if so oops I’m sorry for spreading misinfo 😭 but either way that’s still gonna be my headcanon and my interpretation is much the same lol

I hope u have a great day anon and find this interesting ❤️ thank u for the ask!

[just-a-ghost00]

Surprise reading to celebrate my new oracle deck

I was kindly gifted an oracle deck by a French reader that goes by the name of Soul shadow, whom I admire a lot. It’s a 90s anime themed oracle deck. So to celebrate this new baby, I decided to do a reading on the following theme :

a message from someone you love ❤️

No picture to pick from today, just use your intuition and pick a number between 1 and 3.

Group 1

I had to take a break to sort things through. There were so many things I wanted to tell you but it would have been difficult for me to express them in the state I was in. I don’t want you to think that I’m mad at you or that I hate you because that isn’t true. I sincerely think that meeting you was the best thing that could happen to me. I met you at the perfect timing and there is nothing I would change about that. With you I really feel like I can tackle the world and overcome anything. I need time to understand what this means to me, to figure out how I can better fit you into my life, to solve my own issues and find my footing. I know that asking you to be patient is a bit unfair. But I really need the space right now. I can only hope that you understand this decision and that all ends well in the end. I know this is going to be difficult but I have hope that we can overcome this together. Will you wait for me?

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 Group 2

I really thought that I had it all figured out. But that was until you came into my life. At first, I will be honest, I didn’t like your energy. I thought you were too carefree. But the more I got to know you the more I understood the importance of going with the flow with you. Know that I am open to whatever may happen, now that I stopped overthinking, I can really appreciate the journey and I really feel hyped up. Though I don’t need it, I really like to be reassured by you. Every time that you encourage me or celebrate me, it’s just one more sign for me that I’m doing the right thing and I’m grateful for that. There’s a lot that I wish to say and I plan on taking the time to express them when I get the chance. I have now found a new goal, a new purpose in life and I intend on showing everyone, including you, what I am made of. I know that I can be better and do better. And though a part of me is scared, I know deep down it’s worth fighting for. It’s time for me to put some order into my life and work toward my desired reality. Thank you for showing me the way to my destiny. You really are amazing!

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 Group 3

I hate that I love you because I can’t have you. You were the one thing that I could not control and I believe you will be the death of me. I keep telling myself that tomorrow will be better, that I just should keep living and enjoying life. I try to forget you but I can’t. I tell myself that I don’t care. That I don’t like you. That all I need is my family who always supported me but honestly that’s just bullshit. You are family as well. You have always supported me and the least I can do is be there for you too. I’m haunted by my memories of you. I want to talk to you so bad and a part of me is that close to giving in to temptation. But another just isn’t ready to face it. Those memories are too painful. Behind my cold exterior lies a ton of repressed feelings that I can’t seem to control. Whenever I’m with the people I love I can’t help but to think of you and wish you were there. Whenever I’m having fun and celebrating life, I can’t help but to think of you who always stood for me and cheered for me and feel grateful because this victory is also yours. In these moments, when I am the happiest, the first thing I want to do is come rushing to you to share that happiness with you. Ah you make me go crazy. I just want to leave it all behind and come back to you asap. Fuck it.

[themindofachronicdaydreamer]

M-maybe for your beloved wife... Y-you would write a jjk fic angst n-no fluff...? 🥺🥺🥺

The Cold

angst (so sorry) plot: he is your warmth, and now he is gone. content: tw major character death (not the actual death but the effects of it on reader), grieving & mourning, hopeless/depressed reader, heartbreak, pls dont read if your sensitive to these things pls it gets kinda dark at the end so be cautiousss pls i beg ily also shoko is mothering frrrr. word count: 2.6k satoru gojo x reader note: sorry for mistakes i proofread but i always miss something. but god i cried writing this pls i am sorry in advance ilyilyily & thank you for requesting cause i have had no ideas so this sparked my writing again <333 i hope this fulfilled ur wishes but lmk if u wanted something different! love u wifey!

Satoru Gojo is many things, but if you had to describe him in one word, you would choose warm.

Physically, he is your personal heated blanket. Every night without fail, he wraps his arms around you, his body heat lulling you to the most comfortable of sleeps. Sometimes, he dozes off too, though in his mind, never for long enough, because he never wants to leave the comfort of being with you.

He is the brightest part of your day. His love for you overflows into every part of your daily routine; from little sticky notes here and there that make your face heat up and your heart feel warm, to big, romantic gestures accompanied by more roses than necessary (and then some), your boyfriend's love is warm herbal tea in the mornings that lingers on your tongue, thick, fuzzy socks adorning your feet as you dance in the kitchen together. Even when you happen to give him the cold shoulder for whatever reason, he is the sunshine on your skin, and a blazing fireplace on a harsh winter night. Your silent treatments never last long, for you feel so intensely frigid without hearing his laugh or being teased relentlessly by him, that you can barely survive without him. The heat of anger is always, always overpowered by the passionate flame of your shared love for each other.

He is your campfire; his presence gently wraps around you, warming you up after the worsts of your day. Everything he touches is blessed with love, light, and comfort. He is the Strongest Sorcerer, yes; though, the magic power everyone seems to ignore is the way his smile illuminates even the darkest day, and how his presence makes everything feel alright. Life feels normal when embraced by his arms and surrounded by his aroma, because somehow, and someway, he has that effect on you.

But, naturally, every campfire goes out eventually. Whether from being out of fuel or simply due to weather, fires always extinguish.

Your eyes can barely process the words on the letter Shoko placed gently into your hands. Your vision blurred from the combination of tears and fatigue, the note's ink melds together in your mind, nothing making sense in your scatterbrained mind. The dampness of your eyes isn't helping your case, either; fallen teardrops cause the ink to spread, losing the integrity of their meaning.

"You don't have to-" Shoko begins, but you don't let her finish.

"No. I need to," you respond in a harsher tone than you intended to have. You know you shouldn't snap at her, since she has been the one practically keeping you alive as of late. She drags you out of bed, helps you shower, feeds you, and helps you to sleep. She really is an angel to you, and as much as you hate that she does not let you wallow in your pain, you are eternally grateful for her friendship.

It has been a few months at this point since Satoru Gojo officially died; rather, it has been a few months since the light of your life dimmed into nothingness, becoming one with the void, a black hole forming where your heart once was.

It's been a few months since you've felt his warmth.

Now, hypothermia has taken over your entire body, your fingers numb, akin to your heart. The blood in your veins is icy, and the tears that you have now run out of are frozen in their place down your face.

You are so, so cold. Freezing even.

And your warmth is gone forever; it has passed on to another life, another universe, another timeline. You're not sure what happens after death, but all you know is that he is not alive anymore. And it hurts. It hurts so, so much.

Nobara and Megumi had read their letters from Gojo months ago, but something about reading his writing feels like saying your finally goodbye to him, and you refuse to believe he is really gone. In your mind, by reading his letter, you are accepting his death - which you refuse to do. Honestly, you keep thinking that maybe one today, he will walk around the corner with a confetti cannon and jump out, yelling "Surprise!" and you would run into his arms, angry at his antics and telling him he had gone too far; but you would be happy again, because your body would regain it's heat, and you would feel whole again.

But it's not going to happen. He's gone. Even Gojo, the prankster he is, would not go that far with you. He is gone, and he wrote a letter in case this happened, and you are holding it in your hands, staring at it, and trying to read it, but none of the words process in your mind. You aren't sure you can do this. His script is almost taunting you, his handwriting a solemn reminder of what you had such a short time ago.

Even with all the evidence stacked against you and regardless of what everyone has been trying to tell you ever-so-gently, you are certain that psychologists lied about the stages of grief. There must be no stages, as you cannot find a cell in your body feeling anything other than denial.

"Hey," Shoko speaks as soft as ever. She kneels down in front of you, a hand on your knee, a tender look in her eyes. "I'm here for you."

"No, Sho. I hate making you see me like this. You shouldn't be taking care of me," you ramble. You have felt so guilty for the way she has been practically your nurse even amidst all of the duties naturally dumped on to her. Even at some of her busiest workdays, she still finds a way to care for you, too.

"No, no, no. Your pain is mine as well, okay? Take some of your own and give it to me if you need to. I'll take on whatever you need me to take on," Shoko says so softly, and so gently. If not for your vision being so blurry already, you would likely have caught the wetness forming in her eyes. "I'm not losing you, too."

And her last sentence is what breaks you.

You crumble into her arms, the grief taking over you as it so often has recently. She wraps her arms around you, and you hate that you wish it wasn't her arms, but Gojo's. You hate that her comforting you doesn't do much - you feel as empty and cold as you do without them. But it is nice to have someone to lean on, and you love her with your entire being, and you owe her the world for how she has taken care of you, so you give int o her embrace and let everything out. Her palm is flat on your back, moving up and down so tenderly, it is as if one wrong move will make you shatter into even more pieces of yourself. Your cries are painful. It's not easy for Shoko to listen to them, as every wail brings with it a resurgence of pain in her own body. She knows you need this, though, so she tightens her grip on you and takes on the inner pain you're releasing while you sob onto her shoulder.

You're not sure how much time goes by, but you eventually run out of tears and have numbed yourself to the thought of existing enough that you slowly back from her arms. You look at your best friend, and her dark circles look so much worse than they do normally, and a dulled pain runs through you as you realize that was likely your doing.

"I'm sorry," you barely whisper, as you barely have any energy to say the two words.

"Please don't be sorry. Like I said, we're in this together. You're my best friend. I will always be your shoulder to cry on," she smiles as she finishes speaking, but it does not reach her eyes. You reflect her smile on your face and nod, glancing at the paper in your hands.

"I'm gonna run to the restroom, okay? Will you be good?" she begins to stand as she speaks, hesitation within her every move.

"Yeah, of course," you say and nod, reassuring her that you will be fine. Shoko looks like she wants to say something else, hesitating, before deciding against it and standing. She walks to the door without another word, only a glance back to you to make sure you're still there - that you didn't disappear or face the same fate as has happened twice now to those she loved.

You return to the letter, your sweaty palms grip onto the white sheet in between them, a slight tremor to them signaling your anxieties. In a moment of clarity, you decide that you must read it - avoiding this will solve nothing. You need to read it.

So you do:

To the light of my life,

If you are reading this, then I am so, so sorry, love.

Please don't be mad at me. Everything I do is with you in mind - to protect you, to create a world safe for you to live in, to ensure you live a happy life, etc. Please know that. I know I can be impulsive and make rash decisions, but I make them with reason. And sadly, sometimes that means I have to make sacrifices, and I guess this time I had to make a pretty big one.

I know that you are hurting, and I hate myself for being the reason behind your pain. But you are so strong (Even stronger than me, honestly! I mean, you are still alive... sooo...) and I know you will get through this. For me, somewhat. But mainly for you.

I love you and I believe in you. The pain may be excruciating right now, but I promise you will be okay. We will meet again. I am certain of that. Please don't hold yourself back because of me. You deserve love and happiness, and I would kick myself in the afterlife if I was the reason you stopped yourself from getting that.

Don't forget me! Though, who am I kidding? Who would? >_<

Thank you for being my reason to keep going.

With all of the love in the universe, Your Toru P.S. Here is a reminder I love you for every day I won't be there but you will (and some extra!)

At the end of his letter, Satoru left a little doodle of you and him (him with kissy-lips), a big heart around the two of you, and the words "I love you!" written a million times around your figures.

As you take the contents of your letter in, wish so much that this letter could make you feel better, or make anything hurt less. But it doesn't. Honestly, it makes you angrier. How can he expect you to be okay? How can he even think that you will be okay without him?

Your arms wrap around your torso, the hoodie covering your figure still faintly smelling like Gojo. He haunts you - not just his scent, but his presence is everywhere. From the vending machines you two would contemplate almost daily which snack to get from it to his side of the best you sleep on every night, he is everywhere. His aura, his ghost, whatever it is. He is always there in the back of your mind.

Whatever closure Gojo wanted you to find after reading that didn't work, and you're not sure if you wish it did or not. How can he even consider you finding love or happiness in a world that does not have him in it? How are you supposed to fight curses from now on if you yourself were cursed with the agonizing pain of having lost true love? There is no you without him; and now that he is gone, a piece of your soul gone missing, there is only the shell of you that functions as barely even a human being. How could he do this to you? How dare he leave you behind like this?

The door to Shoko's office opens and signals her return, but your mind is too congested with your anger that you don't even acknowledge it. The same cycle of questions ruminate in your mind, echoing through the crevices of your mind that are slowly starting to lose a grip on the memory of him.

How could you forget him? His cheeky smiles when the two of you woke up bundled together in the morning are beginning to fade, along with the feeling of his hand in yours. How dare your mind betray you like this - how dare it act as if he was something forgettable.

Though, even though some memories are hazy, you will never, ever forget the way his love feels in your heart, as now it is gone, and it has left you unable to exist without it.

"Everything okay?" Shoko questions with slight apprehension, noticing a shift in the energy of the room.

"No. But it's fine. I'm fine," you answer, and you strain a small smile for her. "I think I am going to take a walk."

"Oh. Okay. Are you sure? Do you want me to go with?" Shoko seems rather confused as she responds - or maybe it's concern. As much as she trusts you, worry floods her mind at the thought of something happening to you. But you're an adult. She can't baby you.

"Yeah. Just need some fresh air," you respond and you grab your jacket, avoiding eye contact with the doctor, and rush out of her room before she can say anything else.

Once you are outside, the air is frigid, but you can't tell a difference between the temperature of it and you. Your body, your heart, your skin, your soul - they are all frozen in the absence of the one that that warmed them, and you fear they will never thaw for as long as you live.

A bench comes up as you round a corner, and you sit on it, allowing yourself to ruminate on the last words Gojo had for you.

And then, you yell. At the top of your lungs, you yell. Scream. Howl. Until your lungs run out of oxygen, you holler into the forest you sit at the edge of. When your throat feels raw, you continue your song of anger, gusts of wind humming along to your tune. His ghost still remains everywhere around you - you swear you can almost hear his voice in the wind's music.

As the wind blows, it takes your anger with it and leaves you again as a hollowed version of yourself: Empty and alone. The wind grieves with you, enwrapping you in a hum that is almost numbing the pain - an impossible feat, to be honest, because nothing will ever be strong enough to numb the pain you feel right now.

How will you live without your lifeline? How can he expect you to do that?

As you close your eyes and listen to the breeze, you find yourself fearing you will spend the rest of your life cold as ice, as now there is no fire to warm your hands, and there is no Gojo to warm your heart.

His fire has been extinguished, the newfound cold now fully embracing your soul. And maybe he is singing to you in the wind, but it will never be enough to regain your warmth.

sorry guys this got darker than i originally planned but i hope you enjoyed it as much as you could <3 I haven't written angst yet so i'm sorry this isn't the best, but i hope you enjoyed it anyway! love love love you, make sure you're taking care of yourself !!!

[channelinglament]

Hi! I saw your ask as open and I wanted to request something for the Self aware Project Sekai AU you made :)

May I request how the Vocaloids react to the player? Like, how would they become self aware? We’re they self aware to begin with? Thank you :)

How vocaloids react to player ✨️

(Sorry everyone for being gone for so long, I was just emotionally exhausted and had a few angsty teen thoughts)

Platonic/Romantic - tbh idk? Depends on how u take it :^

Let's start off with the fact, that they all know know that they're not exactly their original counterparts

Yes, they are vocaloids, but..different? They're in game, nothing new for Miku- but it seems like it's their first time being alive. They know it's their voice, their songs but it just..feels weird?

- though this mostly applies to Miku, as she's the first one to greet us and has her..original form?

She knows it's her, but different her.

- I wanna say that I see all sekai vocaloids as different people, BECAUSE during April fools, THEY MET EACH OTHER and uhm- I'd recommend watching that video to understand what happened. They kinda became friends, and 25ji Rin liked wxs Kaito's (or what Kaito that was?) head pats. She was waiting for her Kaito to arrive.

SO that means they are ALL different.

Now, that we finally sorted out what was important, we can finally make some content

Hatsune Miku(s)!

The Miku that greets us:

She knows she is Miku, but she doesn't have knowledge of stuff outside the game. She is a sekai keeper, and keeps hopes and dreams of every vocaloid producer. But...She is unsure if this true. Some stuff happened before she even existed! (Games existence)

So she knows she isn't exactly the first Miku. But Miku anyways.

She was staying there all alone, for so long.. (game downloading)

Yes, she loved watching over sekais, but..it's not like she has anyone..

So when she first meets you! She is so excited to make a friend! She says you're a sekai watcher like her, because you two "sang" (aka you playing tutorial)

Whether you played bad or good didn't matter. She liked it.

She didn't wanna lose you, but it's not like you're leaving her. Your presence is always near her when you play and read stories/events.

She doesn't see you often, unless you're pulling for characters or there's an event/sth she needs to explain to you.

She's such a little tease, not giving you card you want if she knows you have more pulls. Don't worry, she will give you it, but just pull one/few more times please.. she doesn't want to be alone anymore.

First though when she met you: I am not alone anymore?

Sekai Mikus

As long as you won't harm others she's fine!

She is very cautious when it comes to [band's name]. They're her 1st priority.

At first she thought you are just there to watch over them, but she noticed you actually help them improve (I hc that by playing their songs, decorating sekai, grooving their cards and kizuna level you can make them better and improve them)

Aww, thank you so much! You are a great help!

.

.

.

.

.

Overtime all vocaloids became kinda obsessive over you? They want you to play their band's songs and care mostly, if not ONLY about them and their band! Yes, they're grateful you helped them improve, but they will bring you into their world, and you will make it real. Not just a game, but a R E A L, LIVING WOLRD. NO NPCS, NO GAME CODE

Until then, everyone is just a piece of cra- I mean, code. Your word also seems so dangerous... that's why they need to protect you from world's harm!

Not gonna lie, EVERY other vocaloid acts this way, so I'll end it here, sorry ^^; (Maybe I will make a part 2?)

But trust me, beware of Niigo and MMJ the most.... both, vocaloids and group

^ them when u interact with other groups

(Also beware of Tenmas, and Shinonomes. You can kinda trust Hinomoris)

[deesseshesca]

PAC : Why are u the best ? (10 reasons)

Y'all are my favs...

Good evening pretty souls, let me dive into your energy and bring the best of it out.

SALE 

Until October 31 all readings on my ko-fi is 30$, only

Choose the image that’s speak to you and allow yourself to soak ONLY what’s reasoning with YOUR SITUATION.

Rules and Disclaimer 

I am the type of tarot reader to say as it is. Nothing is sugar coated but everything is sent with good intention. If you are not ready to face some truth, you should vagabond somewhere else. 

PILE 1. 

Even when life feels repetitive or unexciting, you have a unique ability to see potential in every moment. Instead of feeling bored, you use this time to reflect, recharge, and come up with new ideas.

Conflict just isn’t your style. You thrive on harmony and always manage to bring people together, diffusing tension and making sure everyone feels heard and respected.

 Where others may feel dissatisfied, you find hidden opportunities. You see beyond the obvious, turning situations that might seem stagnant into valuable moments of growth and reflection.

 You effortlessly navigate through competitive or chaotic situations, preferring to focus on collaboration rather than competition. You inspire others to work together, not against each other.

 Even in moments where others might feel unfulfilled, your optimistic outlook helps you find joy in simplicity. This ability to appreciate what you have sets you apart as someone who truly understands life’s deeper values.

You steer clear of unnecessary conflict. Instead of engaging in arguments, you stay calm, centered, and focused on what truly matters, avoiding drama and negativity.

Even when life doesn’t give you everything you want, you are still grateful for what you have. This mindset allows you to maintain a positive outlook and inspire others to appreciate the beauty in every situation.

 You solve problems in ways that bring people together. Your natural optimism helps you see solutions that others miss, and you always strive for peace, finding compromises that make everyone happy.

Your energy lifts those around you. When people feel stuck or negative, your optimistic nature reminds them that better days are always ahead. You have a talent for helping others see the bright side.

 No matter how chaotic things may get, you stay centered and calm. You don’t get pulled into unnecessary conflicts, and your peaceful energy helps keep everyone else grounded as well.

💌: Do you wanna to discover 10 other reasons why you are sooo good in bed + moodboard, also you are the only pile where your current/future partner came through, so there's also 10 other reason as for why they love u sexually all on my ko-fi.

PILE 2.

* You’ve faced deep emotional wounds and heartbreak, yet you rise stronger each time. Your ability to turn suffering into growth shows just how powerful and resilient you are.

* After healing yourself, you instinctively help others. Your journey through emotional turmoil has equipped you to guide others through their own struggles, making you a beacon of light for those in need.

*  You embrace your vulnerability, knowing it makes you stronger. This openness creates deep, meaningful connections with those around you, elevating everyone you come into contact with.

*You don’t shy away from difficult conversations. Your emotional intelligence allows you to speak your truth with grace, offering clarity and comfort to others in a way that few can.

* Even when you struggle to fully trust your intuition, you’re constantly learning about yourself. You know your flaws and strengths deeply, which makes you one of the most self-aware people.

* Despite the pain life throws at you, you keep fighting. Your heart may have been pierced, but your spirit remains unbroken. This inner strength radiates in everything you do.

* Even when things seem unclear or you’re second-guessing yourself, your emotional intelligence helps you see through confusion. You know how to sift through the noise and find the truth within.

* You’ve mastered the art of balancing your emotions. You know when to hold on, when to let go, and how to approach situations with both empathy and rationality, making you a stabilizing force for others.

* Even when your intuition feels blocked, you still find a way to navigate through challenges. Your ability to persevere through uncertainty is a testament to your inner wisdom and strength.

* You are unapologetically yourself, even in moments of doubt or confusion. 

💌: Do you want to discover 10 reasons why you are so good in bed ? + Moodboard.

PILE 3. 

You have a vast array of dreams and aspirations, and unlike others who might hesitate, you boldly go after them. Your imagination is boundless, and you’re never afraid to chase what you truly want.

While others might be stuck waiting for the right moment, you seize the day. You don’t let life pass you by, and instead of overthinking, you take immediate action toward your goals.

 Where others see limitations, you see opportunities. You live with an open mind, always aware that the world is full of limitless choices, and this makes you incredibly resourceful and creative.

 You refuse to be stuck or trapped in situations that don’t serve you. Your ability to recognize when it’s time to move on makes you a forward-thinking, dynamic individual.

You possess the ability to dream big, seeing things that others wouldn’t even imagine. This visionary energy sets you apart as someone destined to create and manifest things far beyond the ordinary.

While others may get stuck in indecision, you are decisive. Even in the face of many options, you know how to make swift choices, refusing to let overthinking slow you down.

While many people get lost in their dreams, you know how to bring them into reality. Your combination of creativity and action makes you a master of manifesting what you desire.

Even when challenges arise, you find a way to move forward. Your ability to quickly adapt and make changes ensures that no obstacle holds you back for long.

Your imagination knows no bounds. This not only fuels your dreams but also makes you incredibly innovative, constantly coming up with fresh ideas and perspectives that others find inspiring.

 While others may wait for the perfect moment, you create it. Your proactive approach to life ensures that you’re always ahead of the curve, moving forward when others remain stuck.

💌: Do you want to discover 10 reasons why you are so good in bed ? + Moodboard.

[puckpocketed]

weird/bad interactions always remind me about the good things. feeling very sentimental under the cut <3

housekeeping

The gist of this is that I'm very grateful every day my first encounters with hockey on here were primarily with kraken lb and sharks lb. You can stop here if you aren't in the mood for an essay LOL

I'm thankful in general for everyone who has ever welcomed me into their hockey spaces for giving me role models to emulate. I feel especially thankful after such a strange, off-putting experience in a new tag just now.

On the off-chance you're the person who took a screenshot of my post to tell me to leave your space and you're reading this: thanks for the chat, no hard feelings and no grudges held. If you're one of the people who uncritically reblogged that post... I can't tell you what to do with your blog but dog piling is a pretty good way to bully people and drive new fans, artists and gifmakers away from your community.

I'm not here to guilt people into being friends with me. and honestly, I don't want friends who would do that. I sincerely hope you grow and the next new fan you encounter gets a warmer welcome than I did. I know most people in the tag aren't like that, but I think I'll shelf that team for now. (my quest to fall in love with 32 teams carries on!)

Anyway, I get pretty mushy about my friends and communities semi-regularly on here so it’s not anything people haven’t heard before, but it’s MY blog and I get to write love letters to my teams and their communities if i want!!!!!

kraken

I take my cues from the way people in this tag treated me. The warm welcome is something I'll always think about, no matter how my relationship to the team and the community at large evolves over time. Sparking my interest in writing again, making new friends, and learning about The Beautiful Game was such a highlight during my summer last year. I am very very tender about this team and community. It’s hard to talk about them sometimes because it’s like… my feelings are so big <3 they are eating me like a soup dumpling. my head is being ripped off and my soupy insides are being sipped <- don’t know where i’m going with that....!

I confess I often feel overwhelmed and lost in the hockey tumblr space as someone who doesn’t participate in shipping/rpf and isn’t attracted to men, but I’ve never felt like people wanted me out because of it. Thank you for accepting me, and accepting the way I love this team and sport.

sharks

Tiny but mighty!! the kraken crossover likely contributed a lot to this, but I've met such amazing people in this tag. We may have different/conflicting opinions about non-sharks teams but we are united in our love for this flop train and my life is enriched by it. Would not commit to a months long research project with any other people ! Mwah <3

There's a whole iceberg's worth of things to say here. I'm trying to keep it short otherwise it would be like.... a whole post of its own LMAO.... i should definitely write a puck-mortem on the primer work one day.

But to give anyone reading this an example: I still think about a sharks writing prompt challenge where the organiser went out of the way to include non-shipping/nonfiction works in their list of acceptable submissions. I won't name or @ anyone in this because that's sooo embarrassing aslkjasdkljdjkl but. we exchanged a few messages about it, and learning that they did that specifically to make sure people like me were included genuinely made me tear up.

I love u sharkudablr <33

kings

Somehow even smaller. Many of us don't have LAK as our primaries, and honestly why would we? The community tinyyy... and only recently we're coming back to life it seems. I really can count on two hands every active kings blog I've met and interacted with. But I value every 6 note post so much <3 also we may be very funny for real actually. incredible memes and collective sense of humour. The memes and gifs and photo edits + reposts are so important to me .

I love our kings, our little family, our little liveblog tag. The way I follow LA is unlike how I follow any other team. they really are my eldest daughter, in that I am holding them to SUCH high standards. Perhaps because out of all my teams their fate seems the most uncertain? Are we on the verge of collapse ? are we cup contenders? are we ever gonna escape the round 1 time loop? <3

I hope one day we're as big and warm as my other beloved team tags. I think we're on our way :)

golden knights

another small but close community. I'm so grateful I saw Adin Hill go ultra instinct and got interested in this team <3 aside from saving me a bit of heartbreak during the trade deadline, I've met amazing new people.

Also, loving this team makes for a great litmus test + rent lowering shots. To be loud about enjoying this team is to filter unserious people out of my tumblr experience <3 Those who were wishing injury on m.stone in particular and those who were uncritically repeating conspiracy theories, thanks for exposing yourself during playoffs. Those who are in the tags of my vgk gifs saying how much you hate this team, thanks for exposing yourselves. I do not go out of my way to be spiteful on here, I think it really does no good. but I fear I don't want to sit with you at lunch if you are doin all that!!

what's really special to me is how our community is small and safe. it is the safest I've felt in a hockey community. I am so happy our discord is place I can go to without fear of seeing one of my other teams/players randomly smeared, I love that it was started with the express intention to avoid simply repeating the unfiltered hatred we experience in other spaces. building with purpose, choosing to be kind... i think that's also something I want to take and run with in my own community building efforts. thanks for being bold enough to be different <3

caps

Quickly rising up from babygirl-in-laws (hi Lucky!!) to BELOVEDS. I think the Dubois trade might be one of those inflection points they talk about in sci-fi movies where they gotta time travel and change the future :) I was already sort of eyeing this team and had a few friends/mutuals who followed them, but the incredible caps fans who have reached out to me to share their love of their team really sold me.

I love talking hockey with everyone I've met. I love the goofy vibes. i love the essays in my inbox. I love that people read the essays i write back. <3 When a link to a video didn't work for me (required a log in) a caps fan simply screen recorded it and posted it. When I asked about the power play I got completely serious hockeypilled answers <3

There is something to love about every team, but I'm finding a huge part of loving them, at least for me, is the people you love them with.

everyone else

If i haven't mentioned a team I like or people I've interacted with it's because there are too many to recall in one go and this post has gotten a lot longer than I originally intended <3 trust that I think of you warmly and often. every person who has ever sent me an encouraging word, discoursed with me about the game and the narratives, and every note on my silly gifs and art - appreciate you more than I can express. you all make being on here such a cool experience.

I hope i love hockey for a long time and keep meeting new people <3

[catgirlbussy]

im gonna do a lil sadpost, as a treat. if u dun wanna read that or interact or anything there's no harm done <3 it kinda feels nice sayin stuff into the void tbh, cause i know as i look out ill always see myself at minimum, and im still thankful. im alive. if someone can relate or whatever then thats a neat bonus ★

I'm not super sure how to formulate these thoughts, cause lots of it is just incompressible /feeling/. I've been on HRT for close to two years now, and modifying my internal physical landscape alongside the work I put in with the ways I've learned sharing benefit so far, like therapy and self-directed exploration of my emotions and the simple but vital practice of being more open with others about how I'm feeling, has uncovered a lot.

It's been overwhelmingly positive in so many ways. I don't have any regrets for starting this set of changes, even with full knowledge of the difficulties I've had rise as a result and that more are on the horizon, and also full awareness in that I will need to continue putting in the *good* work to care for myself and learn how to navigate the parts in my mind I'd kept hidden or obscured for so long. It's not /bad/, I feel so grateful to have this opportunity at all and I feel bounteous joys in this trove of beautiful experiences that, up 'till not too long ago, I never thought I'd be able to experience -- though I absolutely still dreamed of having them so vividly.

I have a lot of good graces in my life re: my transition. In a lot of ways I feel I've been exceedingly lucky. Canada has its fair share of problems without a doubt, but I also know full well there are a lot more places on our planet where it's much more difficult to be openly trans, let alone dangerous or lethal. I don't take that as an opportunity to rest, either, because having cracks forming in the firmament, letting in light to my dream of a world where trans experiences are accepted (and to note most thoroughly, I'm learning more of a lot of cultures in days gone by, /including some aspects of my own heritage/, having extended gender representations ingrained in their societal norms, some as far even to revere the dynamic and unique experience of existing beyond the gender binary in whatever way they saw as such) for **everyone** spurs in me an even deeper and impassioned drive to work in the ways I'm able to foster communication and connection while rebuking hostility so more and more beautiful, valid trans folks can experience respite and respect and safety as well.

I'm not wanting necessarily to change minds and upend the posture of society with this particular post, though, and so I hope you'll forgive me in my expressing my small, localised set of emotions in this moment. At the root of everything I experience I'm starting to get better at reminding myself that I'm a valid *individual person* in addition to being a contributor in the push for good and kindness for all.

It's probably telling that I feel the need to offer ~4 paragraphs as a disclaimer that I spend time learning about the global scale and am effortful in enacting progress there before just getting on with what I'm even feeling sad about. I don't see myself as a holy martyr for being nervous about expressing myself, but it seems more and more common evidently rather than by my hypothesis alone that many trans individuals would get by prior to exploring their gendered identity with burgeoning self-acceptance with a marked self-exclusionary behaviour when it came to opening themselves to emotional experience, regardless of any given instance being gendered or not. Until it becomes unmanageable, it feels easier to lock away senses of joy, sadness, etc. cause you can keep gettin on by in a sort of functional state and you tell yourself thats enough.

This is far from the worst thing I've come across so far, but I am feeling confused and the confusion is unique in its own way to the extent that I'm not even able to pin down how I /feel/ about feeling it. At its heart I can't seem to muster the right formulation of words to explain to others these particular experiences I'm having in my transition. Painting in broad strokes can be such disservice to the nuance for any individual's cluster of experiences, but tumblr if anything *for me* has brought much happiness in finding threads of commonality with others. Stark contrasts to my feelings of loneliness and seclusion from the world around me give me so much hope. I'm writing this partly in hopes that there is another one of those threads people might appreciate seeing. I do more than my fair share of journaling, but this one feels special and worth sharing right now, and so decadently I write these words for a community beyond myself.

To be blunted, perhaps I might phrase it by saying 'i feel sad about being happy.' It's that sort of absurdist perspective that helps me wrap my head around it a little better with how little sense it makes to my normal machinations. I'm not sad that I am having these new and thrilling experiences of adding or or changing parts of myself to live in the way I best see fit for who I am, but I feel sad because I don't know how to.

I get locked up at the slightest things. Someone compliments my nails, and its so hard to communicate efficiently the impossibly depthed importance this literally surficial act has for me. They aren't even painted well, but I painted them /myself/, I felt catharsis in exploring my love of artistic expression in the choice of colours, I rode high on the thrill of watching this new skill form in my own hands. The coat is uneven and I can't quite keep myself from getting knicks in places as they dry yet and I'm still practicing the nail care associated with maintaining healthy and resilient nails, but if I can be so bold to say, god forbid women do anything.

This person obviously wasn't chastising me for partaking in a traditionally "femininely-associated act", let alone that so thoroughly most things people take for gendered in no way innately are, the whole binary supposition is a damned myth. But because of how I was brought up and the mindset I was taught to have before I fought to think for myself instead, this was a joy I'd always admired but felt I was abhorrent for wanting to partake in. Absolutely anyone who feels otherwise can irrevocably go fuck themselves if they aren't willing to examine the falsity of the foundational thoughts they 'think' they have leading them to ever want someone to abstain from such a viscerally unobstructive and innocuous form of self exploration and creativity bexause it's "for girls". This goes for anything. For anyone. Idc who you are or what label you wanna use at any given moment, go explore. Live life. God fuck do we need people to just experience joy in some ways so we aren't so incorrigible and hostile towards eachother.

But you don't stop whoever took 15 seconds out of their say to mention to you they like the colour and wanted you to know to discurse at length upon the structural bastardisation of who people are allowed to be, cause more than any of that I just want to feel happy about it.

I literally stutter out whatever form of thanks my malformed emotionally-communicative faculties can muster in this surprise and try not to start sobbing in the grocery store aisle or whatever. It's so /good/, and it's so frustrating that I don't even know how to just process and appreciate that it is.

I was so much an absentee in my own bodied self that I could not fathom an understanding of what gender euphoria was until it snuck up smashed me in the teeth. I didn't have any basis of understanding for what it was really like to be happy about some part of myself.

Despite my loneliness I have still had the experiences of friendships, people caring about me, and relationships where a partner genuinely appreciated parts of me, physical, mental, emotional, whatever. More now than ever I am having those experiences as I learn to come out of my cloister inside my head. But this time I'm not just numb to everything. Sure, as I'm learning to not just be unilaterally numb until my bastion of self-isolation fails and I break there is abundance of pain, but the pain I honestly prefer. It's more vivid than it's ever been before, but I can benchmark that I'm still alive by its contrast to neutrality. It's familiar, and my mechanisms of clutching my emotions into my soul can still carry me forward as I try to figure things out. But fuck me is it ever hard to have a happy experience and not know how to communicate that it tore my sense of stability in those moments to shreds. To lose the composure that carried me for so many years because someone sought to share something with me they thought I'd appreciate because they care about me feels so counterproductive to just enjoying the absolute gift that experience is.

Abstractly, as I'm wont to do to a remarkably self-apparent fault, I can tell myself that these things take time. Human emotion is so complex, and its panoply of shifting lights glinting as the facets move their positioning relative to the light of being alive is what drives me to do art, and it always has been, contradictory so fully to my desire to lock everything away. I can't circumnavigate multiple decades of trauma and be free and unfettered in my senses in an instant just because I'm aware it's possible. And so I try so fucking hard not to just sit down and cry in that grocery store aisle, cause it hurts so bad to be happy.

How dare I find glints of good in the polluted landscape we live in. But that mindset helps nothing. People striving to live amidst turmoil is what makes life worth living. There will always be strife, but there will always be the possibility for hope alongside it.

Without fail, each night I'll self-soothe myself into a mode of somewhat-restfulness imagining what it would be like to trust myself enough to be imperfect and let someone hold me. It's the only thing I do anymore. It even backfires sometimes and I just waking-dream my way through countless blissful scenarios about what it would be like if that cute girl I've been starting to become friends with mentioned she wanted to hold my hand for hours until the sun comes up and I know I won't have any sleep at all. It's so goddamn worth it. I revel in it, because at least in the theatre of my mind I can find small ways of letting myself feel those joys. They aren't really happening. It's my own hand rubbing a thumb gently along my collarbone in a faux affection. But it's the only way I've found that's not so obstructively blinding in intensity for me to practice what it would be like to be close to others.

I still lose my sense of self so often. I find bruises from where I bumped into things and wholesale didn't notice until the tiredness sets in and I can't autonomously ignore how sore I am. I dive effortlessly into the placid waters of dissociation when someone gives me a hug, despite that being what I have dreamed of for so many years during my self-imposed isolation. Someone tells me they like an art piece I've made and I stopper any sense of pride or appreciation for their kind words despite pouring however much time channeling my slowly uncoiling understanding of reality into every particle of it and wishing that my experiences could convey any amount of any feeling whatsoever to another living being with the entirely selfish act of wanting that I feel like I had a real connection.

I can't get by with chainsmoking and shelf-set pain medications and blind ignorance any more. I can't ignore how badly I want to feel. I am figuring it out instant by instant and it scares me horribly. One day my yearnings for closeness will be actualised because I'll be ready to open when they come. My selfsense-extracted mutterings of the hypothetical joys of being pressed down into sheets and kissed because someone deigned to gift me with attention for they hold appreciation of this newly forming, ill-configured, but ultimately revelatory feminine self I'm becoming will no longer be fiction and prose but the rawness of experience that I, once, and then more, can lose myself into without terror thay I'm inadequate and never truly worth it. Someone will touch my breasts and love me for loving them myself and I'll give in to the annihilating instant where I am no longer a sense of self but just am. This body is not me but my, and I will scrape and fight however I can muster to live vicariously thru it because that is what I am meant to do by being here alive at all. If anything ever again I want to feel what love is like.

I'm not even reading this back to see if it conveys properly let alone makes sense at all. I'm exhausted and in so much pain. If you read this, thanks, and, if you can, go hug someone you love today.

[turbo-tsundere]

Hi there :> I wanted to express that I am so proud of you. So proud. I read your "under the cut" life update and how you've been struggling but found a way to love making art again, and that's beautiful. I'm glad you shared your processing art, even the ones that are hard to look at. They're great pieces that evolve visceral reactions, and the colors and crazy styles in there are really fun! It's so nice to see a small part of your human journey from over here, and how Gonta plays into it. I'm wishing you all the best of luck, and am always grateful to enjoy your amazing work. <3

D...damn... ; u ; thank you. So much.

I legit don't know what to say when someone writes me something so nice. I'm floored and my mind goes blank - I had to think for a long while to even be able to verbalise my feelings in a coherent way. But... I just want to say, I'm really happy. And I'm grateful! I've turned into a puddle of melted butter for a while after reading this!

I think this is a good opportunity to also thank you, and everyone else, for being so sweet and enthusiastic about the stuff I post. Whether they're wips, doodles, or finished stuff, or ships, or more personal and embarrassingly emotional pieces.

There were quite a few that I was really worried about posting - like that last sketchdump - and yet, I'm always surprised with such positive reactions. Gonta seriously is... the most important fictional character to me. I can't underestimate the impact he had on me as an artist, and as a person... so when drawing him, I always want to do him justice. I'm elated, when my way of artistically exploring his character speaks to people, and to a point that... I dunno, like some people say they look forward to my fanarts. Or write their thoughts, and insights in tags, some so long or energetic, it blows my mind. It's so wild. Y'all making my days <3

I'm gonna go and melt in a corner for a little more, if you don't mind. Then imma get up to face the challenges of the baka daily life of turbo-tsun, but other than that... yeah. I plan to keep making as much Gonta-related stuff as I can. I might slow down my pace, I might disappear for a while, but this isn't the end just yet! D:<

---

On a side note, I noticed that there's an invisible second message in my inbox... whoever wrote it, and whenever it was sent, I'm sorry I didn't answer, I simply can't see it... tumblr be like that sometimes, and it isn't the first time it happened for me. OTL

[giveafike]

TUMBLR WRAPPED 2024!

hi!

did i scare you? unexpected post, huh? I wanted to have something fun to wrap up the year before we move on so I thought, why not a "wrapped"?

Keeping it short & sweet with some insights too + i luv statistics and seeing patterns, so this is always super interesting to me. Without further ado, here's our wrapped together!

Stats Recap (nerd stuff):

As of 10/12/2024, I have 106 posts. 21 of those are actual fics, meaning almost 1/5th of my posts are works.

The rest is yapping - need to stfu got it! noted!

I received 1,901 notes and 149 followers.

You people are INSANE!!! I have a more emotional post due for New Year's but truly, that is wild, wild work. I'll save the tears and heartfelt stuff for that one, but I want you to know how eternally grateful I am for all of you. Being encouraged by you guys is not just inspiring—it’s addicting, electrifying, and everything in between.

Thank u for the outpouring love.

Inbox Recap (what to look for in 2025?):

Hold ur horses, there's gonna be a lot to write and get through! Thank you for requesting and trusting me to make your ideas come true, I hope to do 'em justice.

Here's a little "reading" so to speak (I HAVEN'T WRITTEN ANYTHING SO DON'T START @ ING ME):

Dominic Fike/Elliot:

sensing an alarming amount of unrest and horn*ness over here. Sensing two posts, both for elliot....smth smth... NSFW... something to do with Nate as well, joining....? Nate and NSFW has the same about of letters too, not a coincidence!!! Also sensing a blurb with a massively underrated song. u btches ab to pmo, why don't we listen to Açaí Bowl more as a collective get the streams up omfg- sorry got sidetracked. that's ab all I can say.

Jude Bellingham:

Pretending to be shocked when I say: more smut requests? Oh brother. But one's very sweet and cute and respectful awww-- SIZE K*NK? oh gosh guys um..the only way I can describe this one is...desperate smut. Anon... cmon now. I would say more, but anon owned up to it saying "This is a long and sick request but I believe you are the only writer on here that can bring this to life 😭😭" which makes me giggle so FINE i'll let it slide, I'll try to do as best as I can (luv u don't u worry I got ideas brewing)

Ben Shelton:

phew. lot of nsfw. like a lot. like a crazy amount. Talking ab that damn car (I'm gonna do smth DRASTIC to that fkin car if he posts w it one more time) talking ab being a munch, ab a supermodel, talking ab scratches, talking ab laver cup (THROWBACK!), about ben showing off.... it's getting hot under the collar, oh gosh. Ahem. We have some sweet fluff ones too! including reader getting insecure/jelly. Ben being irrational, one about....homesickness? a LOT of pregnancy asks. like A LOT. SHELTON NATION DON'T GET KNOCKED UP. PLEASE. One I'm very excited to write, Ben x a certain Doja song...heheheheehehe oh and also, Ben and a 'knock-on effect' w his precious little car, ykwim? no? you'll find out. shush. A very exciting story ahead, the first one with NSFW incorporated - thank u 'D' for the prompt!! Also, I finally got my hands on them tiktok editors and I've made a promise or two to do something w their works.....catch my drift? you'll see soon. Special little hints as to who: victim no 1 and victim no 2 🙂‍↕️😝😙🥰

Post Recap (what went on the billboard charts for u?):

IN 6TH PLACE:

At 85 notes each, we have a tie between "Yours" and "Come Here". Both Ben posts, one SFW the other NSFW. Writing "Yours" was super fun, writing jealous/possessive and sassy Ben kills me laughing, IJBOL and writing Carlitos too? SO funny (wonder how that'd go down differently since we saw them being bff besties at Garden Cup) - Possessive Ben is a guilty pleasure, hehehe. Writing "Come Here" was really interesting since it was my first NSFW of Ben. Also based off of my fave Dom Fike song that's just as h*rny. Thigh riding being my FIRST one off the dome is lwky crazy lmao. Sometimes, I wish I could write more in my NSFW posts, i feel a bit insecure in my NSFW writing? I believe in quality>quantity in fics always, but I hate how short mine are for NSFW posts...sigh. Maybe I should build up the tension more? Go deeper (no pun intended)? you let me know, that would be incredibly insightful!!

IN 5TH PLACE:

At 93 notes, we have my baby, "Shattered"!!! "Shattered" ended up becoming a mini-passion project for me (clearly). What was meant to be a mid-sized blurb ended up progressing to 10k words - how that happened is beyond me. Everytime I thought I was done and ready to close up and conclude, there'd be another part, another bit that I'd want to add. It even got to a point where I'd be on my bus home from work or college, almost falling asleep when I'd get woken up with more inspo, lol. It was my first time writing angst in a very, very, very long time but looking back now, I really truly enjoyed it and I'm quite proud of it! Maybe more angst reqs in my future? I’m leaning towards YES

IN 4TH PLACE:

At 102 notes, we have the "NSFW Alphabet with Ben" - you people are so horny omg. This was the first EVER NSFW thing written about Ben from me. And honestly? my least fave hahahahaa. I deadass have this blocked out of my memory, like I haven't gone back to read it after I posted it. I feel like I'd read it and cringe, or disagree w it or be like "erm acshully ....that's not canon" it prob needs to be redo - I'd never hate any of my children but I'm just saying if this one went missing, idgaf. If you want a crazy NSFW reading thats prob more accurate than anything, check this reading out. Feral, bye.

IJBOL what in the equality is my top 3 posts- I MEAN, here's the top 3 that you people ate tf up!

IN 3RD PLACE:

At 142 notes, we have the "When it Rains, it Pours" - smut always wins here huh? My 2nd fic post! This is a whole nasty NSFW post w Elliot from Euphoria (aka Dominic Fike) mixed with friends w benefits, rain noises, a homemade fort and w**d! Amazing trio imo. Literally as I'm writing this, I just got another like for that freaky ass blurb. As much as I'm excited to write more Dom/Elliot stuff, ALL OF YOU PEOPLE ARE SOOO HORNY? LIKE EVERY SINGLE INBOX REQ IS SMUT? EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. Idk how many times I can reinvent the wheel, so to speak, but I'll sure as hell try....hehehe

IN 2ND PLACE:

At 143 notes, we have "Game, Set, Match" part 1 - Ben Shelton. AWWWW MY BABY, MY LOVECHILD! This was the first ever STORY and I'm so glad it became a 3 part story too. Triple Platinum, I know that's right!!! I really loved making this, I didn’t plan to add the Instagram element, especially since I’m usually terrible at fake IG fic stuff (finding the right images is so limiting). But for GSM, it just felt right. I think my writing has improved a lot since then, too. I always laugh at my Ben posts because my A.Ns are always like "oh brother a LONG ONE HERE" and then my next post is even longer 😭 Thank u fr for the love on this one, because THAT'S when I really got a whole lottaaa support and love and it rly blew me out of the water, I could cry.

And finally....IN 1ST PLACE:

At 147 notes, it's no surprise that we have the "Waves", a Jude Bellingham blurb.

No surprises here, it was meant to be. I say that because I had this ask sitting in my inbox and decided to do a poll asking what I should post first - after tagging all the tags, I should've known it'd be crazily ratio'd by the Jude community on here, hahahhaha. I think it was something like 80% for Jude and the rest scattered throughout? This was my first ever Jude blurb, and I think it'll be one of many. I have a couple in my inbox but the future is there for me and writing about that silly guy.

Final words:

Was that as interesting for you as it was for me? I've been meaning to talk and reflect to u all inbetween the whole "Advent Calendar" series.

If anything, these stats tell me more about you guys, what you want to see and how I should continue going forward. I always want to write about things that matter the most and stick with you, fics that have you coming back to reread and enjoy.

Having representation in my characters and creating a world where you can sink into time and again is one of the best and only things I can give, so you bet by all means neccessary I don't want to half-ass it.

I might not know where your headspace is at, or what's going on in your life but I hope whatever happens, I can have a little space right here, make you laugh, smile and feel things that take your mind off of reality. At least until you finish reading.

As for the rest of the year, I still have my finals and work this weekend and as the season comes closer, I'd like to spend it with my loved ones while I still can :) The "Advent Calendar" will continue as per scheduled!

I hope to write some more before NYE comes round but we'll see. It's never a burden to write, it's always a destresser, but you bet I'll be enjoying company with family and friends too. That's all I've got for 2024, I can't wait to continue creating silly little imaginary situations in 2025 <3

- lots of love,

azzie.

[ultfreakme]

when I tell you I DEVOURED your "Veer the Tides" fic and omfgfgfgf I absolutely LOVE IT!!!!! I swear to god that fic is literally MADE FOR ME LMAOO because every single thing that you put into it (the arranged marriage, political intrigue, SLOWBUNR) is everything I look for when i read something ajskldjaskldjs tooo goood damn, I just wanna express that I absolutely loved every single moment of that fic and am very grateful that you wrote and shared such an amazing piece of work!! akafuri has such a special place in my heart and i loved how they interacted in your fic!! I did see that you discontinued it and I also found the post where you explained why you discontinued it, but if it's not too much to ask then I'd love to know how you planned to finish the fic (like maybe bullet points of plotlines or literally some scribbled notes, anything and any little crumbb would be amazinggg) 🙏🙏 as someone who never used to read incomplete works because I can't live without knowing the endings, i finally got over my stubbornness and started reading in-progress works because i realized so many hidden gems are just in-progress (like this fic of yours frfr) but i can't help but ask to know how things would've gone if you were to finish the fic 👉👈 as a budding fic writer myself, i have so many ideas of my own of how akafuri will go through this journey but i'll definietely regret it if i didn't at least ask how u planned to originially end it, sooo if you're comfy with it then i'd love it if you shared!! all in all, "Veer the Tides" is an absolute banger of a fic and I remember reading in your chapter notes how u were worried that the things may be too taxing or draining or that the content was too dense but i literally went through that fic being able to literally picture everything so clearly like the words were literally playing out in front of my eyes like a damn movie, it was soo good!! so thank you so so so much for that!!!

Oh my god ;_; A "To Veer The Tides" ask!! Thank you so much, I am so glad you enjoyed it Ziddy! I still consider it one of my peak fics and I wish I could finish it all the time, but I don't want to overstep and right about dissociative disorders without proper research or consultation. Akashi's gone through enough already.

I did have the entire fic plotted out beat-for-beat in one of my old notebooks and even a spinoff with NijiHai!

I understand what you mean about not reading incomplete fics, but I too have begun reading them(can't complain when like, 70% of the fandoms I'm really into have about 1k fics if I'm lucky). I am thankful you gave it a shot even if it's not done!

Now, I am sorry to ask this, but if you can do me a favour, and sit through a large wall of text just on last time with me, I'd be grateful and hopefully I can give proper closure.

To Veer The Tides- Summarized ending

Before we get into the plot details, I think it’d be best to explain what was happening with the Generation of Miracles.

The Generation of Miracles are vessels of elemental gods of this world, and it’s because all of their parents messed up very, very bad. Before the birth of all of the Generation of Miracles, the Setharno Kingdom (our GOM lads) was at war with what is essentially, Fantasy Jabberwock’s kingdom.

Setharno was losing, badly.

Kagami, Akashi, and Kuroko’s parents + Uncle decide they have to do this super forbidden and unethical rituals to borrow the power of their land’s gods so they can win the war. They vote on it and decide to go ahead with the summoning. The gods are not benevolent nor are they evil, they serve their own purposes but no one knows of this because, they’re their gods, they worship them, they have always been helpful to them.

The sacrifices are done and they each get a weapon blessed by their respective gods which they use to defeat everyone, on the condition that no one uses them ever again. The kicker is after the war ended, nobody could use it even if they wanted to.

The ParentsTM leave it be. Fast forward and all of the kingdoms suspiciously have their heirs born in the same year and close to the same time. They grow up to be extremely powerful, and The ParentsTM don’t think too much of it and leave it be.

Little do they know, the gods never left, they’ve made vessels through these children and plan to return to the mortal plane.

The gods are kinda brewing and chilling in the background waiting for their vessels to grow more powerful as they watch the world from a realm separated from the mortals, they're kinda stuck there. Meanwhile, all the political House and Council stuff happens!

As said before, Akashi's Family try to overthrow all the other families to unite power solely under Rakuzan. They are thwarted by the families, and Akashi….was imprisoned in an isolated cottage on top of this HUGE mountain for about 3-4 years by Kuroko’s Uncle(Mayuzumi’s dad) because he holds a grudge against the Akashi family for abusing his sister(Akashi’s mom).

He’s been wanting to take down Rakuzan forever and he’s super conniving and smart, so he perpetuated rumors about Akashi being “insane” and “dangerous” to ensure he will never be allowed to inherit. This leaves himself, Kuroko and Mayuzumi as the closest blood heirs to Rakuzan. Akashi's marriage to Furihata undermines Akashi's ability to inherit by removing his family name.

Akashi obviously has other plans, as we saw in the parts of the fic I did upload.

He slowly works his way up the ladder in the Kagami Family by manipulating Furihata and becoming someone important in the Seirin Council.

Now Furihata’s powers actually are important—he can basically drain people of life. He touches them, they die, zero evidence. Seichii(Oreshi, the rude one who doesn’t care about Furihata) and Seijuurou(Bokushi, likes Furi) realize they can use Furihata to assassinate Akashi’s Uncle while finding evidence to expose sabotage against their family! And the killing would leave no evidence! Yay!

The Tournament Arc is meant to create trust and credence in Akashi. He needs to clean up his image and that is exactly what he does during this arc.

He is noble, he is nice to his husband, and when he places second below Kagami’s House, he makes an extremely elegant and graceful speech and rallies support for himself by being basically the most polite and articulate dude around (while making subtle and irrefutable digs at Seirin). Furi's super proud! His hubby's getting approval!

Furihata does not initially know that: a) His powers can kill people b) Akashi’s planning on using it to kill.

But he does like Seijuurou, he wants to help him because it genuinely was unfair that his own family turned against him. All for power. So he’s being slowly convinced to do more and more extreme things till he betrays the Kagami Family(the people who took him in) by finding evidence of their involvement with Akashi’s Uncle in destroying Akashi's family and killing Masaomi.

Furihata also finds that the Kagami Family basically gave up the Furihata Fam’s land and people to the war all those years ago so he’s hurt and feels betrayed. This gives him the final push to comply with the plan of killing Akashi’s Uncle.

Seijuurou likes Furihata. They grow closer after this betrayal revelation and bond over their love for their(Akashi with his mom, Furi with his parents and brother), and how it feels to be powerless, and to be used. Seichii’s like “fine, if my brother likes him whatever I’ll deal.”

A bi-yearly Council Meeting happens a few months after the Tournament, where Akashi’s bargaining for more of Rakuzan’s land back from Seirin and Kirisaki Daiichi(Akashi’s Uncle’s land).

Akafuri give Rakuzan Gang (Mibuchi, Nebuya, etc) the evidence regarding Kagami family + Akashi’s Uncle’s involvement in killing Masaomi and staging what is basically a coup against Rakuzan. Rakuzan Gang present this at the meeting, they say that the accusation thrown against the Akashi family—of being power hungry—was false(they’re lying right outta their asses on the latter, Masaomi was 100% gonna do it but making the Kagami family and Akashi’s Uncle look BAD is the goal here).

Akashi is suddenly not an “insane” prince but an innocent and noble victim of a plot where his own family had planned to ruin him. The rest of the council, based on the Generation of Miracles’ lead, vote in favour of reinstating Akashi as the Lord of Rakuzan.

THE LORD OF THE COURT IS BACK BABY!!!

Furihata then kills Akashi’s Uncle a couple of months later when he goes to visit him alone and they chalk up the death to old age.

Furihata now….feels weird. Because yes the Kagami family betrayed Akashi but they raised him. He was involved in ruining Kagami and Kiyoshi’s life and he doesn’t know how to live with the guilt. Seijuurou helps him cope. Bloodied hands, bloodied history, all to avenge their families.

The gods are still here btw, and they decided “okay that’s enough. time to take over!”

Seichii has been keeping off the God of Blood, the Rakuzan Land’s god, from basically destroying Akashi’s brain for about three years now and he is losing. If Seichii loses, the God of Blood takes over and it’s OVER.

The God of Blood is the most powerful and dangerous of all of them because he is….technically a god of life, and his allowance into Akashi’s brain and his presence in the mortal realm without any restriction will be what unlocks the rest of the vessels. So THEY CANNOT LET AKASHI BE TAKEN OVER.

Seijuurou realizes his brother has been battling a whole GOD for years and is slowly dying away, and so he decides to switch with his brother and give Seichii a break(against Seichii’s wishes, Seijuurou basically forces him to do this and just asks Seichii to promise he’ll take care of Furi).

Furihata notices immediately something ain’t right. Something’s weird.

Seijuurou and Seichii both fronted and switched often enough, he saw both of them.

BTW, These three came to an agreement of sorts over the course of the plot that Seijuurou and Furi are in love, and Seichii is also there as their unfortunate third wheel. Like, Furi’s chill with the alters and system situation. He isn't in love with Seichii, they're reluctant friends.

Furihata’s asking “Seichii why have I not seen your brother lately?” and Seichii tries to act all cold and distant. But unfortunately for him, Furihata has spent the past year being involved in assassination plots and sabotaging people and is afraid of nothing. He is also the consort of the Lord of Rakuzan rn so...... he does as one does and confronts Seichii.

Seichii fesses up about the whole “ummm the gods of all our lands want to destroy everything as it is right now because they think the current world sucks ass and they want to start over a little.” They gather the Generation of Miracles to inform them and be on guard.

Turns out, Kuroko’s god, God of Darkness/Death, has been in touch with Kuroko and is rather chill about things. He doesn’t really care for this whole “restarting the world” plan. The God of Blood/Life and Darkness are balanced opposites, and the God of Blood/Life is disturbing the equilibrium right now. God of Darkness/Death agrees to help Kuroko deal with this whole “unlocking Vessels business”.

Furihata is unintentionally important to this—because the whole siphoning life thing? Kuroko accidentally gave him those powers through the God of Darkness/Death(hence the “who are you?” repetition in the final update-- it’s a whole thing I plotted about how Darkness isn’t really a lack of things but a potential for creation and light, and the god asking Furi that question was not a threat but a question of genuine interest so he may find himself).

They need to perform a ritual to close the gates between the gods’ realm and the mortal realm, and this requires the effort of all the vessels. So they plan it, it gets a little chaotic because the God of Blood/Life’s angry that they’d even try this. Also the God of Blood/Life’s feeling betrayed about God of Darkness/Death betraying him so he speeds up Akashi’s corruption.

Seichii switches out with Seijuurou last minute against the god and kinda gets super severely injured mentally/spiritually. Seijuurou’s lost to the God of Blood/Life. Kuroko’s the only one who could hope to counter the God of Blood because he’s got the God of Darkness in him but he’s necessary for the gate-closing ritual.

THIS is when Furihata matters- because of his powers from the God of Darkness, he CAN enter the space where Seichii and Seijuurou have been keeping the God of Blood away—this in-between place where the gates between realms are. The God of Darkness aids him to get there.

Furi has to find Seijuurou in this realm though, and God of Blood has not made it easy. There was this whole sequence where Seijuurou’s mind is a forest which Furi must navigate to find the center where Seijuurou is asleep and losing himself to all his deep-seated insecurities which the god is replaying in his mind. Point is, Furi gives him a Power of Love and Friendship speech and gets him out.

Furi acts as a sort of medium for the God of Darkness, Seijuurou’s back at full strength, and these two fight of God of Blood long enough for the ritual to finish and AT LAST, they can all rest easy knowing the gods won’t be coming back for a long, long time.

Seichii’s fine, he just needs a lot of rest and recovery time. The story ends with Nijimura taking over the seat as Lord of Rakuzan because Akashi’s kinda fucking done with this mess. Nijimura was always the better candidate. I was planning on building up the Nijimura side of things too (he too was kept prisoner kinda in Kirisaki Daiichi but with far more access and freedom than Akashi, and he falls in love with Haizaki). Nijimura also just has better rep, like he is THE Golden Boy of this kingdom and he's always wanted to rule anyways.

Akashi and Furihata return to Furihata’s family land, rebuild the old manor where Furi’s family was and they take a nice long well-deserved break.

THE END!

Side note: All of Seirin ended up hating Furihata for a while and there was supposed to be a GIANT plot about Furihata reconciling with Seirin members and resolving his grief and guilt. There were supposed to be a couple of big character plots tbh, but if I went into that, this three-page word doc summary will become 12 and I don’t think you want that on TUMBLR.

I hope that explains…..some things? Does this even make sense? I am sorry for subjecting you to this. If I actually wrote this, the fic would be about 700 to 900k words long.

I am so glad to hear that you’re on your writing journey!!! I am also on mine and looking to improve, and I’d love to chat with you or just communicate with you like this on tumblr so we can both grow! Feel free to DM!! Best of luck for your fic writing! Let me know if it’s Akafuri I’d love to read <3 <3