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[sivvan]

@userdramas event 12: loss

↳ seventeen songs to listen to when you're feeling a loss of hope or direction ♡ cr: x

[tragicvampireromanceisland]

VILLAINPOSTING !!! because i don't talk about them nearly enough.

ichigo was first recruited by the syndicate as blindside a while ago...by adelie, of all people, surprisingly. they go (kind of) way back! absolutely no one knows what spurred this rare burst of motivation in her...but he quickly proved to be an excellent asset to syndicate operations, both in the field fighting heroes and as...a diplomat on the inside. well, sort of. the poor guy's kind of the glue holding the others together. ace can't stand adelie, viewing her as a nepo baby with no drive. and if adelie had the energy to be a hater...the sentiments would be likewise. ace feels too much. it annoys her. plus, he's a newcomer who used to be a hero?! suspicious! doesn't help that adelie does also have the energy to mess with him on occasion, though. however, both of them share a deep appreciation for ichigo...well, maybe something a bit more on ace's part. strange and offputting villain workplace yaoi?! say it ain't so.....

ALSO, some fun little sheets i filled out with the villains and their respective hero foils!! these are all based off initial dynamics, soooo. subject to change 😏 they are not immune to Character Development. would love to do the other villain hero combos, maybe later...original template can be found here!

[kindlyfeline]

Maya de Riva + Lucanis Dellamorte ♡

↑ that's me writing their names out in my diary xxx

not them being the same height 🤭☺️ also i had to cross through 'talk too much' bc these emotionally stunted dweebs don't talk enough!!!

template by the incredible @otherpigeon

+ lucanis ss from @dellamortte my angel !!!

banner

[righteous-r0de0]

A Meeting of Misguided Minds | Audio Rp | M4A

to old endings, and new beginnings (script and link to ao3 under the cut)

Read it here on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57404290

[squeaky door opens, bell jingles, door closes] [quiet instrumental music, voices, silverware clatter]

Employee: Welcome to Elysium! Oh! You’re the one who called us about the interview. I’ll go grab him for you. Do you want something to drink in the meantime? No? Okay. Two seconds!

Perseus: [footsteps] Hello! Welcome, welcome! Look at you, all prepared! I can take those for you, super star. I’m Perseus or Percy, rather. And you are? [pages flipping] Oh right, right here at the top, perfect! [laughter] Sorry, I’m a bit jumpy. I don’t do interviews like this very often, if you can’t tell and I’ve had more than enough caffeine this morning. Here, you can follow me back to the office. Thank you, Emilio! [footsteps] [door open, close, chair scraping] Make yourself comfortable. 

I gotta say, when Emilio out front said you’d called about an interview, I was a little surprised! I mean, I know we’re a registered business and all, but most of the staff either doesn’t care or doesn’t know about all that. And to be honest, I like to keep it that way, but I’m never one to turn down an opportunity to be helpful. Especially if who I’m helping is going to be a helping hand in return. [chuckle] I don’t gotta tell you how rough things are out there right now. And with my main host gone indefinitely for bereavement, we’re a little overworked and understaffed. [clears throat] Um, at any rate. [pens rattling in cup] With how Emilio described you, this interview is mainly just a formality, but you don’t mind if I take notes, right? Perfect! Let me just get sorted. [papers rustling]

Why don’t you go ahead and tell me a little about yourself. I’m sure it’s been a while since you’ve done this kind of work [chuckle] but everyone had to start somewhere. And Emilio said you had some experience in food service. For now we can keep it as personal as you like. I’ll go through your resume during the hiring process. 

[humming in agreement, recognition, pen scratching, heavy sigh] I’m so sorry to hear that. With everything that’s been going on, I can’t imagine how rough it must be, dealing with that on top of the loss of your spouse. I don’t need anything special to tell that you’ve been through the wringer lately. I can practically feel how stressful it is [sad chuckle]. And being in a completely new town, let alone state? Everything must feel so fresh and terrifying. I certainly hope the transition was easy. [soft skin-to-skin contact, patting hand] If there’s anything I can do to make this process easier, let me know. 

I remember when I first moved to California, everything was so different from how it was in the midwest. Uhuh, yeah! I spent my, uh, formative years [chuckle] bouncing around the midwest. Michigan was always my favorite. Tried university, but there weren’t any that taught what I was looking for. Everyone thought I should be learning what everyone else like me was learning, but all I really wanted to learn to do was cook. I saw how it made people happy and that’s what I wanted to do. I mean, obviously, right? [laughs] I spent some time in Chicago and I’m still not sure why those people don’t put ketchup on their hot dogs. Ketchup’s great. [clears throat] Sorry, listen to me rambling. Long story short, I understand what it’s like, moving cross-country and all. 

Honestly, if you decide that this isn’t something you want to do at all, I completely understand. There’ll always be more applicants and I’m sure there’s someone else up for the job. I’m sure you didn’t have much of a choice in the matter. We’ll, of course, keep your resume on file if you decide to revisit this offer.

Ah, no, I get it! I’m the same way. Some people need to rest through their grief and others need to wrestle through it. No point in sitting around in a new home where all of your recent changes are so clearly apparent if it’s just gonna make you feel worse. If you need to work through your heartache, it might as well be through, well, working [chuckle]. 

Speaking of working, should you decide to take the job, we’ll start you out at the host stand. It’s really very easy and relaxed. We don’t take reservations and truth be told, we’re never overly busy so the most you would be doing is showing people to their seats, taking drink orders, and keeping an eye on wait times. That being said, if hosting doesn’t end up being your thing, we can move you to something else and go from there. We have the kitchen of course, as well as a fully operational bakery. We could also move you to serving, if that’s more up your alley.  

We try to rotate responsibilities every so often, just so everyone has the opportunity to hone their skills and stretch their metaphorical and physical legs [chuckle]. But if you find you’re more particular to the bakery than to hosting or hosting than to serving or anything like that, we can of course accommodate. Any questions? 

Yeah, sure. So all positions have the same starting rate which you’ll find is well above minimum wage. I prefer to keep my employees as happy and stress-free as possible. You can accept tips, but I would obviously pay you a livable wage as well. We usually ask people to donate to local charities as opposed to tipping, but there’s always the generous few who won’t take no for an answer. 

Sick days and holidays aren’t really a thing, either. We have an honor system. Basically if you’re scheduled to work, you’re getting paid for the day. If something comes up and you can’t make it, as long as you let me or your coworkers know as soon as possible, you’re getting paid for the day. If we close early or you get cut early because of how slow it is, you get paid for the full day. Holidays are the same. We’re closed on most calendar and religious holidays, but you’ll get paid regardless. Same goes for both solstices. Not sure where you fall on that spectrum, but we’re closed both days, regardless. 

And if you ever find anything to be a bit too much, we can of course work out some mental health days and vacation time for you. Any other questions?

[hums] Uhuh. So as far as uniform goes, we don’t ask much. We’ll give you a few free t-shirts and a sweatshirt when you start, but other than that, we’re really chill. Just dress in whatever’s comfortable and appropriate. If you decide you want to work in the kitchen, we do ask that you follow food safety laws, but we provide aprons and such. We also have a shoe program to keep you in something reliable and safe. Anything else?

When can you start? [laughs] I have a feeling I’m gonna like you, super star! You’re gonna fit right in. I know this must feel like such a relief, having a place to land after all the changes you’ve experienced recently. We’ve been in a bit of a slump as of late, what with everything going on. I think a fresh new face will definitely get everyone out of the rut we’ve been in. 

[papers shuffling, tapping on desk, chair scraping] I’ll admit, I was a little worried when the Department said they were gonna be sending someone down for an interview. I figured you guys were all stuffy office jockeys, especially an investigator [scoffs, chuckles]. And I know you’re gonna take the whole ‘keeping an eye on things’ seriously, but you’re just such a doll. At any rate, I’ll get all this put away and-

I’m sorry? Oh right, sorry. Yeah, DUMP said you’d be coming. Don’t worry, you didn’t surprise me or anything, dear.

Oh. Oh. You’re not from the Department? [swallows] You… don’t know what the Department is? [stammers] Oh my god. I’m gonna be in so much trouble. I should have asked for a badge and- [deep breaths, pacing footsteps] I could just…no… no no no no no, you need this job. And I think I need you too [tight laugh]. I did think you um, felt a little off, but I figured it was just the stress and the grief and… ooh sorry, I’m gonna stop talking now. 

Okay, okay, okay [grounding breath]. [To himself] This is all gonna be okay, Percy. We just need to have a chat with the hosts about communicating exactly what is said on phone calls regarding applications and interviews.

What? Oh, I’m so sorry. Please completely disregard, um, all of that? Um, it should go without saying that you definitely got the job! I mean, I already kind of implied that, but I can see how all of that could make you reconsider that assumption. You definitely got the job. I’ll call you, or would you prefer text? You know what, never mind! I’ll just text you to ask later [nervous laugh]. We’ll set up a day and time for you to get started. In the meantime, if you’ll excuse me, I now have another interview to prepare for. One much more frightening than this one [clears throat]. 

[out of breath] Please grab something to eat or drink on the way out, and please tell Emilio that I’m covering it. I’m sure these last few minutes have been equally as stressful for you as they have been for me. 

Anyways, I’m very, very excited to have you join the team, super star. I’ll walk you out [door opens, closes].

~~~

this takes place directly after the Inversion

If it wasn't totally clear the listener character (called Super Star, but will later be shortened to just Star) is an uninformed, unempowered human who called ahead about getting an interview at Elysium Eatery. They come prepared with a resume and a cover letter and dress up for the occasion. However, the speaker character, Perseus, or Percy, was expecting a different person for the interview. DUMP has been sending investigators and field officers into empowered businesses across town to keep an eye out for stray shades or any more trouble under the guise of employment at these empowered businesses. They've chosen Elysium to be one of these such businesses. It was originally supposed to be Sweetheart taking the job at Elysium, but it didn't pan out, due to Star being hired instead.

Thumbnail Template from @mokozroach

Logo and Thumbnail made on Canva

[marv3l-drag0ns]

just had the most EVIL and HARROWING minecraft experience of my LIFE good lord. augh.

[twoswords]

a moodboard for my fallen london character, Dolorea Erdene!

[autism-corner]

more like web-site

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

hi baby!! dont worry!! it was about reader getting so stressed and annoyed while building a gingerbread house that they throw it in the garbage because its going all wrong and carmy finds it hilarious lol then he builds one for her hehe<3 love u

Perfectionist.

Your boyfriend being a professional chef has its perks - especially when it comes to gingerbread houses.

pairing - carmen berzatto x female reader warnings - cursing word count - under 1k!! short and sweet author's note - just a little dose of carmy at christmas for you. thanks baby angel for sending this request in (twice!!) <3

masterlist. inbox.

"Fuck this."

Carmy hears your raised voice and immediately comes running, coming to a halt in the doorway of the kitchen.

"You good, baby?"

"No."

The frown on your face is amusing him to no end, fighting to keep his smile from breaking out. He doesn't want to minimise your feelings, but you're cutest when you're mad.

Carmy takes in the scene in front of him, surveying carefully. There's chunks of gingerbread scattered across the table, icing dripping from the tablecloth. Your kitchen looks like a candy store exploded - sweets in red, green and blue littered over every surface. You're caked in frosting, hair falling into your eyes as you take deep breaths to try to keep your anger at bay.

"I knew this wouldn't be easy, but fuck me, Carmy... I'm on the brink of a breakdown here."

He makes his way over, grinning like an idiot. It's not often he gets to help you with things - you're fiercely independent, determined to get stuff done all by yourself. He likes teaching you, getting to feel like he's easing your worries a little.

"You want my help?"

"I said I'd do it," you huff, on the verge of stamping your feet and pushing the table over.

"It won't kill you to ask for what you need, baby."

You roll your eyes, bottom lip caught between your teeth. It's difficult for you to admit defeat, but you might rip your hair out if your gingerbread collapses one more time.

"Can you help me, Carm?" you whisper.

"What was that, honey? Say it again?"

You sigh in exasperation, slumping back into your chair.

"Can you help me, Carmen? Please?"

He beams at you like the cat that got the cream, making his way over to sit next to you at the table.

"Lets start again, hmm?"

"Good idea."

You pick up the remnants of your gingerbread house and throw them so forcefully, the trash can almost tips over. Carmy laughs, wrapping his arms around you from behind.

"I think we've finally found the one thing you're not good at, honey. It's a Christmas miracle."

You can't help but chuckle, leaning your head back to rest against his shoulder. He presses a kiss or four into your neck, nosing at the spot under your ear.

"Okay, Mr Michelin Star. Show me what you got."

You bake, first, Carmy explaining how to get the perfect texture you need for structural soundness. He even gets out a ruler, measuring the rolled out dough so the sides will be even.

He kisses you lazily while your gingerbread is in the oven. You're propped up on the counter as he stands between your legs, arms thrown around his shoulders. He tastes like cinnamon and spice, groaning when you lick the sugar straight from his tongue.

When it's cooled, you begin your assembly, sitting back while Carmy trims and remeasures. He draws out a template with a pencil and cuts accordingly, ensuring each piece has a straight edge. You watch in awe as he works, so careful, so attentive. You're fighting not to jump his bones at any given moment.

It's time to build, and Carmy has the perfect plan. He's made a thickened sugar syrup that acts as a glue, hardening when it dries and keeping everything together. His tongue darts out to wet his lips as he concentrates, determined not to mess this up for you.

He steps back, then, to let you decorate. You clearly have a vision, your picturesque idea of what you wanted your original creation to look like. Carmy makes you multiple bags of icing in different colours, and melts down candies so you can make windows and doors. He opens packets of chocolates, and carves into them with a knife to make little trees for the yard.

Hours later, when you're both covered in powdered sugar and melted chocolate, you step back to admire your masterpiece.

"Holy shit, Carm."

"We did good, huh?"

"Is there like, a business in this? Can we do this for a living?"

He laughs, the sound vibrating through you from where his chest his pressed to your back. He's got you tightly in his arms, swaying gently to the soft music that plays from the radio.

"What were you saying about finding the one thing I wasn't good at, Berzatto? Hmm?"

He spins you, pressing his forehead into yours.

"I take it back. I take it all back, baby. You're good at everything."

"Especially gingerbread houses."

"Especially gingerbread houses."

You lean up to kiss him, wiping some frosting off his cheek with your thumb.

"Thanks for not making me feel like an idiot."

"I would never. Life is a learning curve, baby, You taught me that."

"I love you," you whisper. "And just so you know, we're never eating that. It's going to have to be display only."

He laughs, full chested and whole hearted, moving his hands to cradle your face.

"I love you too, baker extraordinaire. We don't need to eat it, anyway. We've got all this candy to get through."

You reach behind him to pick up a chocolate, tossing it into your mouth.

"It isn't as sweet as you," you wink.

A blush rises up his cheeks as he rolls his eyes, pulling you in closer.

"Merry Christmas, baby."

"Merry Christmas, Carmen."

[qrrieterisunnq]

the blush of morning departures - Jack Hughes

Jack Hughes x fem!reader Summary: Jack is about to leave for morning practice. You ask him if he’s forgotten anything, and Jack gives you a kiss. Your cheeks turn red and you open your hand to reveal Jack’s phone and keys saying ‘I meant this, but thanks.’ request: yes/no A/N: Hello! Welcome to my first story on Tumblr. I hope you will like it. I become a Hughes Girl. Everything I write is a figment of my imagination! And, sorry for my English, it's not my first language, so be patient with me and don't hesitate to correct me if you find any error. gif not mine likes are good, reblogs are better <3 word count: 1K warning(s): pregnancy, soft Jack, unedited

masterlist | wip's

You’re laying in your bed, head tucked under the blanket, because of your extremely hot and active boyfriend, who has early morning practice. He’s pacing around the house packing his gear and making his food.

With a groan, you get out of bed, and just in Jack’s huge shirt, you make your way down to the living room, where you sit down, turning on the TV.

Jack gets out of the bathroom, walking through the living room, not noticing you. You smile to yourself shaking your head. Every morning, when he has practice he’s so caught up with his routine that he barely notices things around him.

"Oh, I’m sorry Cherry, I didn’t mean to wake you up." he sighs when he finally notices you lying under a blanket on the couch.

"It’s okay, I’m used to it." you smiled tiredly, and you extended your hand in his direction.

With a smile on his face, he grabs my hand and pulls it to his mouth to kiss it. "You look gorgeous." he smiles brushing the hair off my face.

"You don’t look bad yourself too." you chuckle caressing his cheek.

"Thank you, Cherry." he laughed shaking his head. You smile closing your eyes for a while.

"I made you breakfast, blueberry pancakes with blueberry sauce and blueberry smoothie"” you laughed at this. Yesterday when you were shopping you bought two kilos of blueberry because they had a great price and you both love them, so.

"Thank you, baby." you laughed kissing his hand.

"I’m going to get my bag and pack my gear okay? You go eat or it will get cold and most of all you have to eat so that our little one can grow," he says protectively extending his hand to my slightly large belly.

"Okay, but first, you have to help me stand up." laughing he helps you up and immediately pulls you in a tight hug, bending down to kiss your template.

"Thank you." sighing out you whisper in his chest breathing in his scent.

"Go eat, I’ll be right back." he pulls away and makes his way into your bedroom.

You walk into the kitchen sit down on the chair with little struggle and start eating the best pancakes you've ever eaten. It is no secret that Jack is an amazing cooker and you're grateful for him because you would probably burn up our kitchen if you tried to cook something.

While you’re eating, Jack is packing his gear as he’s thinking about what will you two do in the afternoon, when he comes back from practice. He’d like to take you to this one restaurant in Jersey he found last week when he and his teammates were heading to the bar to celebrate their win.

He loves to spoil you and show you how much he loves you. When he comes home after a game, you did not attend, he brings you something. Whether it’s ice cream, flowers, or even stupid Oreo, he’s always looking for the smile on your face when he gives it to you.

Before he leaves your bedroom, he paces towards his nightstand to check out if the black velvet ring box is still safe in the drawer. He bought the ring a few weeks ago while on his roadie in Washington. He saw it on the street and had to buy it knowing, now is the right time, to ask you. After all, you’ll have a baby in no matter of time and you’re the love of his life.

He gets up, tosses the bag around his shoulder, and makes his way down the hallway into the kitchen to say goodbye to you before he leaves.

"Okay babe, I will leave in a few," Jack’s voice comes from the hall, where he puts on his Nike sneakers in the meantime so he doesn't have to put them on later and go straight to practice.

"Okay," you say with a full mouth of the pancakes. Swallowing the pancakes in your mouth, you stick another piece on the fork.

"Is it good?" he chuckles when he comes into the kitchen and sees you eating his pancakes with full mouth. You nodded and mumbled yes.

"Well I’m glad you like it," he bends down kissing your forehead with a smile on his lips.

"It tastes delicious. Thank you for being my chef," you say after you swallow.

"Yeah, well someone has to cook when you’re able to burn the kitchen down," he laughs sitting down next to me. You stick another piece of pancakes on a fork and put it to his lips, so he can taste it too.

"They taste great," he chuckles, moaning slightly at the taste. Checking his phone he quickly stands up rushing to the hall. "I’ve gotta go princess."

You stand up from the chair, shaking your head, when you see his phone and keys lying down on the table. You grab them in your hand walking to the hall to say goodbye to him.

"Your early lunch is in the fridge, I’ll be home around eleven. Then we can go on a walk," he smiles tossing his bags around his shoulders. „I love you baby and you too baby boy.“ he bends down to pick up his bag making his way to the door.

"Didn’t you forget something?" you ask him, clutching his phone and keys behind your back.

"Sorry." he smiles bending down to peck a kiss on your lips.

Laughing, you remove your hand from behind your back and show him his phone and keys. "I meant this, but thanks."

With a shake of his head, he takes his things from you, pressing down another kiss to your lips. "I fucking love you, woman."

"I love you too," you chuckle at his statement. "Be careful okay? I want my man in one piece before I give birth."

"I will don’t worry, I have Nico to look after me, right? And in a few weeks we’ll have Luke here to look after me too, so don’t worry about me." he chuckles giving you a last kiss before he makes his way out of the house with a loud goodbye.

[just-a-sketchbook]

First Quilt!

It has been a lot of fun and a lot of trial and error but it's done!!!

It's roughly 1.20 x 1.20m (which is a number of feet I can't be bothered to look up but let's say it's about child sized and it'll be great to chill on the couch).

I want to thank @langdon813 who I've never talked to (sorry if you hate being tagged) but whose gorgeous Drunkard path quilts made me wanna do it too :)

I had never done any quilting before (but I did sew), so here's what I've learned, if any beginner is interested in jumping off the deep end the way I did and wants advice from someone who has freshly acquired experience but will also not use any confusing technical terms (with pictures!) :

Fabric picking : so most advice I read was to go for pre-selected bundles of fabric that already go together, but I'm contrary and like to do my own thing so I used wax fabric (the blue ones on top the pile) I had laying around, which I strongly recommend: it's very easy to cut due to it being waxed, and I added a few fat squares from the shop, plus I also had the orange and blue floral and I based the coulour scheme on it. One thing that's true is it would have been easier to work with fabric of the same thickness, and the floral was givne to me by my ma who got in on trip to Thailand and it was alot thinner than the rest which didn't help.

Cutting: I got a rotary cutter for the occasion and it's great! Do not maybe push too hard on it and give yourself nerve damage the way I did (temporary but still), it's actually ery sharp and easy to use, so long as your template doesn't slip you're fine

Piecing :Yes you can do curved piecing even if you have zero experience, you just gotta make a template and

pin it a lot.

1/4 inch margins is the standard so I rolled with it because I don't like converting, but when you're strictly metric it is kind of annoying but doable because my machine does have a 1/4 inch mark and if you stick a length of tape along it it's pretty easy to follow, even for curved piecing.

Layout: At some point you've got to decide the layout is done, because I've re-arranged the blocks at least 6 times and it's a very good way to go insane. (For rough reference, my plan was to have no repeat fabrics in any of the circle-in-a-square blocks, and I only made one mistake which I clocked too late to change)

Chain piecing!! Meaning you pile your blocks together in a specific order (that I personnaly wrote straight up on each piece with a very sophisticated letter/numbers down/across system) and then just sew them together in a line without having to cut the thread between each pair. Looks a little like a fanion banner and at some point it feels like you'll be forever tangled into it but then it's magic :) It's not that hard actually and will save you a lot of time + there's a lot of online tutorials you can use.

Basting! (which it took me while to understand is the part where you attach the backing, the fluff and the quilt top together) : you need more safety pins. Safety pins will save you from the wrinkles and the unfortunate oopsies of realising you've caught your backing double folded into your quilting stitch, which I did a good three times and was not fun to undo. Also, I forgot to tape the backing to the floor and it probably would have helped with the wrinkling...

Backing : I used an old linen table cloth I got for 10€ at a charity shop, and I've still got about 2/3 of it left, so I recommend that, it's sturdy but soft enough, doesn't thread easily and can be washed at very high temps, if that's a thing you do.

Quilting! Well, my machine came with a quilting foot for free motion quilting (which means you're the one moving the fabric along in whichever direction and you can sort of draw with your stitches) and it seemed fun so I did that, and here's what I learned : curves are hard but doable, also my machine doesn't like to go back (kept skipping sitiches for some reason) so it involves a lot of shifting the quilt around, which isn't easy considering the bulk. And also, drawing the quilting pattern you want so you can follow it while quilting actually does help, I used an iron/heat-erasable pen and it worked just fine. Check your stitch tension, mine was too loose and I realised too late so there's spots where I could pull on the thread and it looped, had to stitch back over that.

Quilitng pattern : I wasn't sure what to do, supposedly your batting (aka: the fluff) comes with instructions on how tight you should quilt to avoid it coming apart through use but I got mine cut at the fabric shop and forgot to ask so I just rolled with a rough 10cm maximum distance in between stitching lines but tried to do less in most places. According to many blogs : the tighter your lines the stiffer your quilt, so I kept it loose for comfort. (Picture is halfway done, I added a smaller square/circle inside each square/circle and if you look at it you'll see it's actually diagonal lines form one end of the fabric to the other.)

Binding is boring, and there's nothing to it. I got a length of pre-cut bias binding, machine-sewed it front to front to the quilt top side of the quilt and the folded it back and secured it by hand to the back with a ladder stitch. Took me roughly and entire rewatch of the Last Of Us. There's a trick to doing the corners that's fairly simple but I've lost the tutorial...

Overall : I got myself a quilting book with techinques and such and it helped, but there's a ton of stuff online, and once you get over the very Christian American mum vibe of most of the blogs, it's all very helpful (and gorgeous!) (no offense meant to Christian American mums, it's just a bit of a culture shock from where I'm standing).

[loveln4]

PART 1 , PART 2 , PART 3

tags: @evilive

LANDO NORRIS x EX GIRLFRIEND!READER

'Cause part of me wants you back, but

I know it won't work like that, huh?

- Gracie Abrams, I know it won’t work

synopsis: Four months had passed since the night she left her shared apartment with Lando. Four months since he cheated on her. And four months since everything in her life changed.

The streets were busy that Sunday morning in New York.

Y/n had a cup of coffee in her hand, the other occupied by her phone pressed up to her ear. “Yeah, I’ll send it through.” She said waiting to cross the road. An SUV let her through, and without a second thought of who was driving she thanked them and ran, putting her phone back up to her ear. “If you’d like you can send a colour palette over.”

Her company had finally taken off, clients rushing in to get their Met Gala looks planned, sketched, and made by not only y/n but her employees who she made a really close relationship with. They were like her family.

“Of course, but if you’d like maybe a pop of colour would really bring out the suits design.” She was currently talking to a male actor who wished for something different but had just sent a sketch of a normal suit.

Y/n was thriving. She was happily single after being in an exhausting relationship.

Lando and her had mutually ended it, but one of them gained benefits while the other one is failing to finish a race.

As y/n walked through her studio’s building she knew something was different. The smell in the air was unusually musky and she wasn’t expecting any meetings, plus her team weren’t around, expecting them to arrive in a few hours.

She walked into her office, ready to send over templates and mood boards to her clients, but that’s when she sees him.

Lando’s stood in the middle of her office, looking as handsome as ever.

“Lando.” She muttered as she walked in, “Who let you in?” Y/n was positive she locked up last night.

“Uh-Lina let me in.” Right. Lina, her childhood friend.

“Huh.” She simply says as she sits at her desk.

Lando sits across from her, “So, you did it.” His smile is small, a faint sign of nostalgia evident in his voice.

“Yeah, I did.” She exhaled deeply, “What do you want Lando?” She knew he wasn’t doing well, after all she’s still an F1 fan, as if she’s going to stop watching because of a lame ass guy.

“Wanted to see you.”

“Yeah? You wanted to see me?” Y/n scoffed, “How’s your girlfriend?” She asked innocently.

“We aren’t together anymore.”

“Wasn’t worth it, huh?”

“Okay, i get it, Y/n.”

Y/n did feel sorry for Lando, but he did it to himself. “Look, Lando i’m really busy. We’ve said our hello’s, you’ve seen my studio, seen me. It’s time to let go.”

He stands up, “See you around?” Lando didn’t want to see her around. He wanted her beside him in the paddock again, cheering him on.

“Good luck this year, Lando. Maybe swing by again sometime.”

Lando left and Y/n went back to work. As much as she missed him, or more like the idea of him she was happy with herself, her life.

A/N: THE END!! sorry i’ve been busy.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

[mayakern]

hello! the stained glass pattern is amazing! will the skirt be available in full lenght / ankle lenght as well?

thank you!

i can't say definitively forever, but for now the cathedral skirt will only be available on midi skirts. we are not making miniskirts for 2025 and the proportions of a maxi skirt are completely different from the midi skirts and the cathedral art was designed specifically to work with the proportions of a midi skirt. it just wouldn't look as good on a maxi. (also, the only maxi skirts i make are collabs with @freshhotflavors and are sold in their store and they use FHF's templates, which are significantly different from ours)

i would have to redo a significant amount of art to make it work on a differently proportioned skirt.

plus, if i'm being completely honest, i do not want to format this design on other skirt lengths.

and it’s not just the art that took a long time—in order to make this design as seamless as possible, i have to have a total number of panels that is divisible by 3. for the smaller sizes, that isn’t so bad, because i can put 6 panels on each skirt half for a total of 12. but that doesn’t work correctly on the larger sizes, so for those i have to do 7.5 panels per skirt half for a total of 15 on the skirt and then i have to do my best to align one of the art panels so it matches up over the side seam.

after i finished the art, getting these skirt templates laid out in all sizes took me an entire week and many failed attempts at doing geometry. none of the skirt halves have the same curvature and none of them are actually circular in nature. they are very weird shapes and the upper arc of the waistband and the lower arc of the bottom hem are not the same.

i actually cried like three times trying to calculate the angles of the side seams before i realized that the waistband and hemline are not perfect circular arcs so getting the angles wouldn't help.

i ended up having to manually make my own measuring system by hand to work off.

i am never doing this again it was so much work and i think the final product will be worth it but god was this harrowing.

[straightouttherosebush]

King's Dead

Character: Leona Kingscholar

Synopsis: Fluff alphabet for my favorite catboy (template from @snk-warriors), because it's a good format for a romantic/fluffy headcanon post (this might become my niche pookies I'm ngl.)

Content Warning: Fem/AFAB Reader, a teensy bit of spice if you squint, sorry if there is anything I missed ;-;;

(This song is so him so I named the post after it :D)

Activities (What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free-time with them?)

On his own, he is usually lazing around or occupied with Spelldrive training and Housewarden duties. He usually doesn't give others the time of day, either. He makes an exception for you and will go out of his way to ask if you'd like to play Spelldrive with the team. He'll also invite you to his room to just be in each other's presence, talk, and sometimes the both of you end up wrestling/play-fighting. I feel like he'd do that with a partner and it's something he does when he really opens up to someone.

Beauty (What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?)

I headcanon that he likes thick people, but he doesn't care too much about how people look. He admires determination, diligence, ruggedness and intelligence. He loves being challenged and watching you attempt to run him ragged in any way, shape, or form intrigues him. It keeps him on his feet and relieves his boredom. A little bit of spice here but he is 100% an ass man, the jiggle scratches his cat brain the right way =3

Comfort (How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack, etc.?)

Leona would genuinely panic when you're upset. He isn't really the best at soothing people, so he'll just give you a big tight hug and let you cry into his chest, patting/scratching your head. Otherwise, if you're stressed over something or panicking, he'd basically ask "Do you want my advice, or do you just want me to listen?" He leaves it up to you, and it's his attempt to be considerate of your feelings.

Dreams (How do they picture a future with their s/o?)

He could only hope that either he somehow takes the throne of his homeland and you are there to join him, or you two live a peaceful life in the Afterglow Savannah. On the inside, he craves nothing but a domestic life, and an easy one for his s/o. You make him feel important for once, so he wants to return the favor, his idea of that being ease and comfort for the rest of your days.

Equal (Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?)

100% dominant. While his general demeanor is passive, you'd be surprised how quickly that changes around you.

Fight (Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?)

He is not one to forgive easily, so he holds grudges. If it's his s/o, he tends to be a bit more lenient, but if he feels like he isn't being listened to or heard out, he'll just say "whatever" or something of the like and distance himself. He doesn't like wasting breath and energy, but he's still mad. You two make up eventually, but he's not the one going out of his way to apologize or kiss ass unless he actually feels he did something wrong.

Gratitude (How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o does for them?)

He is very perceptive, so he knows what you do for him and, while he doesn't tell you outright or necessarily thank you, he does something subtle for you in return. He is grateful, so much as to make himself useful if necessary.

Honesty (Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?)

He opens up more and more as the relationship progresses, though he isn't super forthcoming in general. He especially isn't really open about his family or secret feelings of inadequacy. Pre and post overblot.

Inspiration (Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?)

He might be moved to slightly broaden his diet, and he might try harder to work on keeping tidier on his own (definitely not because Ruggie regularly gripes about cleaning up after him, he couldn't give less of a shit tbh.) You're one of the only people outside his family whose opinion of him even remotely matters. He's gunna try to uphold the image of him that you have in your mind, against his better judgement.

Jealousy (Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?)

Yes, he does get extremely jealous. As I said before, he is very perceptive (as are all beastmen, especially felines) so he can tell when someone is hitting on you from facial expressions and body language alone. He mainly gets upset because of his inferiority complex so he feels the need to make sure everyone knows that you're with him. He is usually able to scare off anyone either talking to you or flirting with you regardless, so it isn't a problem for him unless you seem to reciprocate. Even then, he doesn't necessarily blame you because he knows you're being nice to keep your skin.

Kiss (Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?)

He is surprisingly good at kissing and his kisses are hungry and passionate. You kissed him on the cheek after pausing and staring at him for a while. You turned to walk off, and he chuckled at you while you were still close enough to hear. He thought it was really cute and was so taken aback, it was on his mind throughout the day. So, when you meet up after classes at his dorm, the first thing he does is literally make out with you. He has to try hard not to let it turn into anything else, as much as he wants it to. He gladly respects your wishes. "Thereee ya go, got what you wanted. Just ask me next time. I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

Love Confession (How would they confess to their s/o?)

"Hey herbivore, you're cute. No, really. I mean it. Wanna make somethin' happen?" He'd just nonchalantly spit it out at some point. You two could have been literally anywhere and he would have still been this casual about it. He isn't really one for huge gestures or drawn-out confessions. Just plain and simple. He would be a little nervous but that's something he can easily shove down.

Marriage (Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?)

Leona has the thought of marriage in the back of his mind. His family badgers him about it, and would even more if they found out that you were in the picture. Out of spite, he has sworn that he doesn't wanna get married. However, sometimes he sees the actions you take and the way you act and he thinks about you as his wife and the domesticity together, it awakens something within him. He gets a little mushy about it, but overall, he isn't getting married for a WHILE. A proposal from him would sound something like "I've been thinking on this for a bit and they will NOT get off my ass back home so... wanna get hitched?" He'll have the ring and everything, but isn't taking a knee or any of the typical stuff. He brings it up just as casually as the way he asked you out. "Mrs. Kingscholar... has a ring to it yeah? Ohhh come 'ere, stop bawlin' yer eyes out." he chuckled as he pulls your face into his chest while you cry tears of joy, his eyes clenched shut with the biggest smile he can muster.

Nickname (What do they call their s/o?)

Herbivore, Omnivore (if he's feeling nice), Hon will rarely slip out, mainly those because he isn't a pet-name person.

On Cloud Nine (What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?)

When this beastman is in love, he becomes slightly more enthusiastic and generous and seems a little bit less tired whenever the object of his affection enters a room or interacts with him. Ruggie takes notice, teases him, Leona scoffs and rolls his eyes, the world keeps turning. It is only obvious to Ruggie because he's close to Leona, but nobody else can really tell that he's in love (he totally holds the crush over Leona's head btw, I also headcanon that bro can actually be a killer wingman.) He pretty much looks and acts normal, aside from the energy bursts. This shows in dorm Spelldrive practice, and the Savanaclaw students will remark on it, not really knowing why he's like this and sore because their asses are getting kicked. Nothing new, but worse than usual.

PDA (Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?)

He isn't upfront per se, but he's definitely not scared for people to know that you two are a thing. He doesn't brag but he has subtle ways of being affectionate. Whether it's his hand casually holding your waist or his tail brushing against you whenever he passes by, he's always subtly staking his claim. He will kiss you in front of someone and stare that someone dead in the eye with this threatening glare if he's jealous enough. (This should have been in the jealousy category technically BUT it's also PDA so... idk bro you be the judge.)

Quirk (Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship)

I can name a few One thing that makes him an absolute catch is the fact that he actually respects women/AFAB people. Respect really shouldn't be a lot to ask, but you would be hard-pressed to find it. Leona is actually a gentleman at heart. It was how he was raised and he is actually pretty morally upstanding, all things considered. Even moreso post-overblot. Second thing- the lion ears. I have been WAITING for my chance to talk about them. They're so cute and so soft to the touch, it makes him even more attractive, having them. That and he uses his enhanced hearing to sometimes find you and sneak up on you for fun. Though he does let you touch them, never in public. He turns into a cub when you pet him like that. He is very particular about when he wants to be touched period, and can get annoyed/overstimulated quickly, so just be careful. That and he can sometimes seem lazy, but this makes for some pretty great off-days/nights where you guys stay in and cuddle/nap together. He has Ruggie pick up some food (you end up helping Ruggie out a bit and secretly Leona adores seeing this,) and you guys are just set for the time being.

Support (Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?)

Honestly? Purely circumstantial. If he isn't interested, then he won't involve himself too much aside from baseline mental/physical support and advice (if you ask for it.) However, he sees a spark in his s/o and tries to motivate them to keep pushing. Sometimes it can seem harsh, but he's pretty good at tough love. Everyone needs a little "Hey, tell that doubt to shut the fuck up and try your damnedest. I know you can do it, that's gotta count for something."

Thrill (Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?)

Perfect question for this character because yes, he absolutely needs to keep things interesting. He gets bored easily, and started dating a spunky person for a reason. He enjoys being tested, teased, and surprised, despite how he appears to dislike it. Whether it's making bets on things or physically play-fighting over things (he never initiates that btw, he leaves it up to you,) he will try anything to keep things refreshing and fun. The way he sees it is that it keeps the relationship alive.

Understanding (How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?)

He pays attention to things you say and do more often than you think he does, so it comes as a shock to you when he can remember things you said months ago, verbatim, so easily. Usually he's a huge listener, but that just means he has more time to store info away in his cat noggin. He knows you really well, as he notices and takes in everything. He is very observational. Sometimes he'll even cave and get you things because you looked like you wanted something because you were too broke and/or too scared to ask. "Use your words next time, herbivore. You're in luck today." As for empathy...? 50/50. He is generally sympathetic, but he tends to block out empathy to get things done or go through with certain plans. He feels everyone but can't always care about what they think/feel. It'll weigh too much on him and it's not his job to fix people. For his partner, however? He can make exceptions.

Value (How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?)

He didn't expect your relationship to last as long as it has, so it colored him impressed. Once he realized how long it has been, he was willing to take it more seriously and thus it held more worth to him. As for the worth of the relationship generally, on the scale of priorities you're top 3-5 unless you're in immediate danger or have something special going on (whether good or bad)(in any of those circumstances, you'd be #1 at those moment.) He loves you, but he has his own priorities and responsibilities. Doesn't mean he doesn't think about you though. <3

Wild Card (A random Fluff Headcanon)

Okokok soooo I'm a little chunky and I was thinking (like any normal person does, surely,) "what would my fav twst character (this bastard lmao) think about that?" That said, my headcanon is that Leona actually likes a little chunk on the bones. He sees that as you being "well-fed," if anything. He would offer to help his partner work out and diet if they so desired, but reassures them that they look fine regardless. He, of course, does this bluntly. Same ol' Leona, yeah, but he means it. Suuuuper personal headcanon but I hope you guys like this one :3

XOXO (Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?)

He likes to cuddle, and he will also sometimes bite/nibble on you (neck, ear, even arms sometimes.) He has to be in a mood to be affectionate, but when he is it's absolutely adorable to see his catlike mannerisms

Yearning (How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?)

He just goes about this normal life and distracts himself with it or sleeps it off. BONUS: Angst/sadness, if you left the Twisted Wonderland- (I feel like this lowkey fits so just hear me out-) He would never be the same after you left, and he would be more angsty, exhausted, and upset. He would sulk around for months upon months until he realized there was no point. The resignation hit him and he just one day realized that there was nothing he could do. He eventually moved on with a different outlook on life... all... because of you. He put no effort into finding love again.

Zeal (Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind?)

He is fiercely loyal, so once the relationship is serious and you guys are locked in, he would do anything short of murder if justified, and even that's debatable under the right circumstances. Do not try to take this for granted, though. He's loyal, not stupid.

This took me FOUR hoursss! I hope you guys like this as much as I do because oH MY LORDD I am eepy :0

So long omnivores, Rosey <3

Masterlist is HERE!

Ⓒ Written by Rosey, please do not copy/repost/translate.♡

[santaeofficial]

Santae's Official Meme Contest!

Let’s ring in the new year with some funny, silly, Santae-related memes! This is your chance to showcase your humor and creativity while celebrating the vibrant world of Santae. The deadline to enter this contest is: JANUARY 3, 2025 at 23:59:59 SST.

How to Enter:

Create one (1) Santae-themed meme that follows our Site Rules. Submit your meme on the Contest Upload Page.

Rules and Requirements:

Please only submit one (1) meme for the contest. Your meme must be Santae-related and appropriate for Santae.

Please be sure to follow our Site Rules, and ensure entries are fun and light-hearted.

You can image search "meme templates" or check out example memes for inspiration.

Winner Prizes:

First Place: Glitched Pet Name Certificate

Second Place: Synthwave Shimmer Dust

Third Place: Divine Synthwave Blepp Figurine

Medal Winners: Winners for Most Funny, Most Relatable, and Most Creative will receive a Harlowin OR Quibbit Figurine of their choice. 

All participants will receive a Jar of SanDust as a thank you for joining. All voters will be able to select a prize after placing their vote.

Deadline to Enter:

You have until JANUARY 3, 2025, at 23:59:59 SST to submit your meme to the Contest Upload Page.

Submissions Period: December 8th to January 3rd, ending at 23:59:59 SST.

Voting Period: Community voting will take place from January 4th to January 8th, ending at 23:59:59 SST.

Good Luck to all participants and we cannot wait to see what you all create <3

With Love & Gratitude,

~The Santae Team

[buriedpentacles]

Simple Relationship Sweetener Spell

Here's a small and very easy spell to bring a little extra sweetness into a relationship! A little PSA is that this spell is for an already existing relationship, it enhances rather than creates. Also, it doesn't have to be for a romantic relationship! You can use this for friends, family, employers etc!

Here's the spell, as I did it, with notes on potential substitutions and how you can edit it to suit your own practice and relationship 💚🌿

Feel free to dm, message or comment any questions!!

Ingredients

Sugar

This is pretty self explanatory, a little sugar to sweeten the relationship! I used two types of sugar - granulated and light brown but you can use whatever you have or feels right. I used these two because light brown sugar felt very grounding and homely, it is reminiscent of the feeling I want to bring into our relationship, and it reminds me of my partner.

You could also use: honey, fruit, chocolate, or anything sweet, but consider what they might bring to the spell - chocolate is rich and can be addicting, it may be good for a spell to bring a more passionate energy to the spell. Honey is sweet and sticky, this might help pull in someone who has a habit of being distant. Fruit is sweet in a more subtle way, and the type of fruit you use will have its own energy. This will also be determined by your own correspondences and associations.

Black pepper

I always like to add an element of protection to my spells, just to keep them clear of any interference. Black pepper also adds an element of fire and passion to help spice up the relationship. You could use anything you like that symbolises protection in your practice e.g. a pentagram charm, some iron scrapings, thorns (though be careful adding anything baleful into the spell, be clear of it's intention and purpose).

Dried flower petals

Flowers have always been a language of connection and communication between people, not just romantically. For my spell, I used some petals from red tulips petals my partner had gotten me (this helped add an extra layer of energy as it was a gift from him to me), and red tulips represent love and passion (and they're my favorite flower). For a more platonic relationship you could use daffodils, yellow roses or daisies! For family you could use orchids or pink roses and for a more formal relationship perhaps lavender or violets. Consider what you want from the spell, and adjust accordingly - if you want a calmer, more stable relationship try lavender or primrose, if you want something more fiery and passionate then carnations or red roses!

A taglock for each person in the relationship

For my spell, I used hair as this was easy to get from me and my partner. You can also use a photo of you both, their names on a slip of paper, something with their handwriting etc. You can also use blood or other bodily fluids but always be careful and safe when interacting with bodily fluids.

Sigil

I'd recommend creating your own sigil for this, as you want to imbue it with your own specific desires! For me, I did a simple sigil with imagery and letters woven in with my intention: a fulfilling relationship. A simple intention, because again this is just to boost an existing relationship rather than to create one.

Petition of your desires

Alongside the sigil, I also wrote a short and simple transcription of my spell. If you're unsure of what to write than here's a simple template: [your name] and [other person's name] relationship will bloom into [what you want; a fiery romance, a respected partnership, a life-long friendship]. [Person's name] will [what you want from them; dote on, respect, propose, hang out more, etc]. So mote it be (or your alternative I.e. amen). Here you can also: petition and thank specific spirits if you want, and add a "if not" clause (I.e. if this cannot be, then 3 doves will reveal this failure to me).

An offering

If you are asking a spirit to aid this spell, as I did, then a simple offering (even just a glass of water). If you haven't involved spirits then you don't have to include an offering, but it can help to provide an offering for the spell nonetheless- something to help give it energy in a way that won't drain you.

Other symbols of the relationship

You can also add any other ingredients that fit the relationship you want to grow. I added a small rose quartz crystal, as its a symbol of love and the earth, I also added a small sea shell as I personally associate water and the ocean with love. You might choose to add a friendship bracelet you've made (which could be an extra layer of knot magic) or something from your childhood.

A biodegradable container

This can be anything from a toilet paper tube, to a compostable bag, to just paper. Anything that could be broken down over time (and is safe for the environment). Get thrifty!

Thread

A piece of thread in the colour you most associate with the relationship and your intention. For me, this was red. For a friendship spell perhaps yellow, for a spell related to your boss green may work better - it all depends on your end goal.

The Process

Combine your sugar, pepper, petals, and taglock and grind and mix them together until they're well combined. I use a pestle and mortar and like to move clockwise to bring the spell inwards.

As you do this, focus on the feelings you want the relationship to bring - think of the positives that already exist in your relationship, these are what you want to amplify with the spell.

Take your sigil and petition and use whichever element you prefer to activate it. You may burn it if the element of fire feels right (fire can help bring more passion and quicker results), you may choose to drench the paper in water (I chose this, as water is associated with emotions and I used the water from my tulips to do this), for air (which may encourage communication) you may use incense or similar. If you want to use earth, you don't have to do anything extra, as the element of earth will be used to activate the spell later.

Add all of this (and anything else you've decided to include) into the container, as you do so, read aloud (or in your head) the words on your petition. Call upon any spirits you wish and ask them for aid in the spell.

Now, with the thread, seal the container. For me, I was able to sew through the material of the container, if you can't then just wrap it around. As you sew/wrap the thread, again think of you desires and intentions, feel them and pour some of your feelings into the spell (whether it's love, respect or perhaps in the case of an employer, the desire to be acknowledged and respected).

Finally, bury the spell outside. I'm a nature focused witch so this is an important aspect of most of my spells - burying a spell is planting the seed, as the spell decomposes and is released into the earth, it will grow and bloom over time, drawing power from the soil around it, making it much more longer lasting. As you bury it, feel the energy of the earth and let it flow into the spell. Tell the spell (and any spirits) that you are activating it (whatever this means for you. You may have a tradition of ringing a bell to signal the activation, or just say something. Or you may say "as I release it into the earth, the spell begins to root and bloom."

You could choose to simply keep the spell with you inside, however as it's such a long term spell, I'd recommend you provide it somewhere to get energy from that's not yourself or you will get burnt out.

And that's it! I finished this spell a few hours ago, with the aid of Rabbit Spirit, and perhaps half an hour after burying and leaving my offering my partner text me to invite me on a date tomorrow (we're both busy and broke so "proper" dates that aren't just snacks and movies are pretty rare)!

For those we disagree with magic relating to relationships - please just ignore and move on, block me if you have to.

[yourlocalcryptidbee]

⭐NSFW Alphabet with Lucifer Morningstar

Good old NSFW Alphabet with our favourite duck man. Grab some snacks and a beverage, get comfy and enjoy <3

Template can be found here

~1.4k words

GN! Reader, mentions of makeup Want the SFW one? Find it here!

Content Warning: NSFW, not proof read

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He’s attentive to your needs. The literal king of aftercare, whatever you want he can provide. A bath? You got it. Cuddles? A snack? A walk in the garden? Hell, more sex? You got it!  

B = Body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He likes his tongue, plain and simple. The power he has over you with it is his favourite thing. Watching how you squirm just because of this one part of him, he’s ready to blow a load just thinking about it! You on the other hand, oh he’s tied between your thighs and your chest. The way your legs shake just that little bit when he’s doing something right? Or the way your chest HEAVES after you cum? It’s too good! 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Would eat your cum breakfast, lunch and dinner if given the chance. And trust, he’s tried to do that on multiple occasions. You stop him, saying something about having a “balanced diet” whatever that means…  

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Lucifer fantasizes about you riding him during a meeting. He’s caught himself thinking about you sitting on his lap, while he’s on the throne, bouncing up and down restlessly like your soul depends on it. He’ll sit and envision what everyone else’s reaction would be, although he isn’t the biggest fan of sharing so maybe this will have to stay a fantasy…until he can learn to hold that many clones of himself that is (;

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

This man has been around since before the creation of humanity, over 10,000 years! At least 8,000 of those years having sex with either Lilith or Eve. So yes, Lucifer knows what he’s doing, and he knows he knows that he’s good at it. It’s named ‘The devil’s tango’ for a reason ya’ll. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Spooning or really anything where all of him is pressed into all of you. He just wants to hold you, whatever position that may be. He may be sexy but he is still damaged, and this is vulnerable. Just let him lay all his lovin on you ok? 

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Depends heavily on the foreplay, but on average he’ll start a lil goofy and turn more serious as the act goes on. But always be ready for a wayward joke here and there. Sometimes it’s just too good to pass up! (just like how having sex with you is too good to pass up)

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He’s kept himself surprisingly well-groomed after his seven-year isolation. It’s trim and orderly the first time you see it, though it doesn’t matter that much because it’s such a pale blonde, that it’s basically invisible.  

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

My God, this man is bursting at the seams with love for you. His heart swells so much that it starts to hurt when he thinks about how he gets to participate in such a vulnerable and personal thing like sex with you. The most hated being in creation and you willing run into his trap, arms open and ready to envelop him in pleasure. Even if you can’t see it in his face or his words during the moment, he is always just so thankful that you could love him like this. 

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

At least once a day. He can’t help himself, plus he doesn’t have much going on most days sooo why not? No one’s stopping him, well you might but that's just cause you would rather help him than let him do it on his own.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

It is Lucifer, he’s got the words ‘corruption kink’ written on his goddamn head. (attached to the neck or the shaft, dealer’s choice) Like dirty talk is a lot of ‘What would your Father Even think of you now? On your knees for me? Hm? Darling, I can’t hear you~’. They want him to be the antichrist? Fine. Spread your legs and give him until the sun rises and he’ll show just how cruel he can be. 

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

His Throne, it’s the one place where he knows that no other person could even sit, let alone have sex on. This is the Sin of Pride, of course, his favourite place is centred around his power. 

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

When you call him yours, my king, my love, my slut. The little choice in wording that shows that you understand just how much of his heart you own, and that is all of it by the way. 

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

While you’ve never done this because you understand, it turns him off real quick if you bring up his past love, Lilith. They’ve been divorced for years and he’s moved on but still, it rubs him the wrong way if you were to ask if ‘Lilith could fuck you like this, if she could love you like this or make you moan the way I do?’ Just No.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

10s 10s 10s all across the board! 

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Again, depends on the foreplay but also how his depression is. If he is slipping into or is in another episode than its all sweet nothings, slow and romantic. If not than he’s more willing to go as fast as your body can handle. 

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Lucifer rathers to not have quickies but it happens. To him, it feels like he can’t make sure that you’re both getting what you want and he’d rather sell his soul to Alastor than leave you unsatisfied because of a goddamn time constraint. 

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He may be skeptical but he’ll try it. You got to try to know if you’ll like it. Plus you got quite the funny story from failed attempts at some things but that's part of the fun aint it?

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He’s the Devil from the Bible! Lucifer is quite literally otherworldly, his stamina doesn’t run out, it’s allllllll on how long you hold on for, baby. 

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Not the biggest fan of toys but if your adamant, he’ll give them a go again. Although ropes will always be on the table for him (;

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

A constant tease! All day, every day honey. He thrives when teasing you but as soon as the tables turn he is melting like that! That being said, he’s learnt to be careful with how much he teases you, least he want a repeat of that day at that gala, and seeing as Ozzie still makes fun of him for it, he’d rather not. 

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

His bedroom is soundproof. That’s explanation enough.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He loves it when you leave markings on him, scratches, bites, hickeys or d) all of the above. Don’t get him started on when your lipstick stains his face or clothes. Minimum 30% of all of his shirts have a crisp kiss mark on the collar and Lucifer wouldn’t have it any other way.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Matches the rest of him pretty well, on the thin side as well as a blinding white colour while hitting a comfortable 7.8 inches. He knows exactly how to use it too. No wonder Lilith felt like That Bitch. 

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Need it being said? His sex drives rivals that of Angel Dust. Don’t start something you can’t finish.  

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

If the two of you aren’t cuddling then he doesn’t fall asleep until it’s almost sunrise. If you do snuggle up on him then it’s lights out real quick. That mix of sex, your shampoo and your body against his is his ultimate melatonin.