#than i have ever for generative AI in journalism
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#*grumbles grumbles grumbles*#people more worried about AO3 data being used in LLMs training than officially published materials need to get their priorities checked#i see more posts indignant about fic in regards to AI#than i have ever for generative AI in journalism#(which has been going on for years btws)#or any other type of official publication being used or threatened by generative AI#like im not saying it’s okay but generative AI in relation to FREE FANFIC completely misses the fucking point don’t you think#*grumbles grumbles grumbles grumbles*
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I'm not an extrovert. At all. In everyday life, I'm a yapper, sure, but I need someone to first assure me I am okay to yap, so I don't start conversations, even when I really want to join in sometimes! It's just the social anxiety acting up. God knows where from and why I lose a lot of my inhibitions when it comes to talking to people about music. I don't know where the confidence has suddenly sprung from. I've made a crazy amount of friends in musical circles, either just talking to people about common music or (since it is after all in music circles) talking to bands about their own music. I let out a sigh of relief any time an interaction goes well, because in truth it's going against my every instinct. I wish I could do that in everyday life
#like that's the point where we need to remind everyone around me that as much as I say#radio is 'a job'-- it's not 'my job' lol. I wish I was this interested in data science#but like. Honestly?? I'm not even a data scientist!? I answered a few questions about classical AI having come from a computer science back#background and now people are saying to me 'I know you're a data scientist and not a programmer' sir I am a computer scientist#what are you on about#and like I guess I get to google things and they're paying me so I'm not complaining but like I am not a data scientist#my biggest data scientist moment was when I asked 'do things in data science ever make sense???' and a bunch of data scientists went#'no :) Welcome to the club' ???????#why did I do a whole ass computer science degree then. Does anyone at all even want that anymore. Has everything in the realm of#computer science just been Solved. What of all the problems I learned and researched about. Which were cool. Are they just dead#Ugh the worst thing the AI hype has done rn is it has genuinely required everyone to pretend they're a data scientist#even MORE than before. I hate this#anyway; I wish I didn't hate it and I was curious and talked to many people in the field#like it's tragicomedy when every person I meet in music is like 'you've got to pursue this man you're a great interviewer blah blah blah'#and like I appreciate that this is coming from people who themselves have/are taking a chance on life#but. I kinda feel like my career does not exist anymore realistically so unless 1) commercial radio gets less shitty FAST#2) media companies that are laying off 50% of their staff miraculously stop or 3) Tom Power is suddenly feeling generous and wants#a completely unknown idiot to step into the biggest fucking culture show in the country (that I am in no way qualified for)#yeah there's very very little else. There's nothing else lol#Our country does not hype. They don't really care for who you are. f you make a decent connection with them musically they will come to you#Canada does not make heroes out of its talent. They will not be putting money into any of that. Greenlight in your dreams.#this is something I've been told (and seen) multiple times. We'll see it next week-- there are Olympic medallists returning to uni next wee#no one cares: the phrase is 'America makes celebrities out of their sportspeople'; we do not. Replace sportspeople with any public professi#Canada does not care for press about their musicians. The only reason NME sold here was because Anglophilia not because of music journalism#anyway; personal
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I read this week that Instagram is pushing “overtly sexual adult videos” to young users. For a Wall Street Journal investigation, journalists created accounts that could belong to children, following young gymnasts, cheerleaders and influencers. The test accounts were soon served sexual and disturbing content on Instagram Reels, alongside ads for dating apps, livestream platforms with “adult nudity” and AI chatbots “built for cybersex”. Some were next to ads for kids’ brands like Disney.
This is something I’ve been trying to get across to parents about social media. The problem is not just porn sites. They are of course a massive concern. Kids as young as nine are addicted. The average age to discover porn is now 13, for boys and girls. And many in my generation are now realising just how much being raised on porn affected them, believing it “destroyed their brain” and distorted their view of sex.
But the problem is bigger than that. Porn is everywhere now. TikTok is serving up sex videos to minors and promoting sites like OnlyFans. The gaming platform Twitch is exposing kids to explicit live-streams. Ads for “AI sex workers” are all over Instagram, some featuring kids’ TV characters like SpongeBob and the Cookie Monster. And there’s also this sort of “soft-porn” now that pervades everything. Pretty much every category of content that kids could stumble across, from beauty trends to TikTok dances to fitness pages, is now pornified or sexualised in some way for clicks.
I think this does a lot of damage to Gen Z. I think it desensitises us to sex. I think it can ruin relationships. But beyond that, I also believe a major problem with everything being pornified is the pressure it puts on young girls to pornify themselves. To fit the sex doll beauty standard; to seek validation through self-sexualisation, and potentially monetise all this like the influencers they’re inundated with.
Which, of course, puts girls at risk of predators. Predators who are all over TikTok, Instagram and Snapchat. Predators whose algorithms helpfully deliver them more content of minors and steer them towards kids’ profiles. Predators who are taking TikToks of underage girls and putting them on platforms like Pornhub.
And this is even more terrifying because adolescent girls are especially vulnerable today. They are vulnerable anyway at that age—but today they have far less life experience than previous generations of girls did. They are extremely insecure and anxious, and much less resilient. Combine this with the fact that they are now more easily exposed to predatory men than ever before in history, and served to strangers by algorithms. And another thing: girls are also able to look way older now. They have AI editing apps to sexualise themselves. TikTok filters to pornify their bodies. And access to every kind of make-up and hair and fashion tutorial you can think of to look sexier and more mature. I don’t think enough parents realise how dangerous this situation is.
Which is why I find it so frustrating to see some progressives downplay the dangers of all this. Those that dismiss anyone concerned about the pornification of everything as a stuffy conservative. And somehow can’t see how the continual loosening of sexual norms might actually empower predatory men, and put pressure on vulnerable girls? That seems delusional to me.
Let’s just say I have little patience for those on the left who loudly celebrate women sexualising themselves online, selling it as fun, feminist and risk-free, but are then horrified to hear about 12 year-olds doing the same thing. C’mon. No wonder they want to.
But I also find it frustrating to see some on the right approach this with what seems like a complete lack of compassion. I don’t think it helps to relentlessly ridicule and blame young women for sexualising themselves online. I don’t think it’s fair either. We can’t give girls Instagram at 12 and then be surprised when as young women they base their self-worth on the approval of strangers. We can’t inundate kids with sexual content all the time and be shocked when they don’t see sex as sacred, or think sex work is just work! We can’t give them platforms as pre-teens where they are rewarded for sexualising themselves and presenting themselves like products and then shame them for starting an OnlyFans. We can’t expose them to online worlds where everything is sexualised and then be confused why some of Gen Z see their sexuality as their entire identity.
And again, on top of these platforms, girls are growing up in a culture that celebrates all of this. They are being raised to believe that they must be liberated from every restraint around sex and relationships to be free and happy, and many have never heard any different. Celebrities encourage them to be a slut, get naked, make/watch porn and make money! Mainstream magazines teach them how to up their nude selfie game! Influencers tell millions of young followers to start an OnlyFans, and pretend it’s about empowering young girls to do whatever they want with their bodies! I can’t say this enough: their world is one where the commodification and sexualisation the self is so normalised. It’s heartbreaking. And cruel that anyone celebrates it.
So sure, young women make their own choices. But when we have children sexualising themselves online, when girls as young as 13 are using fake IDs to post explicit content on OnlyFans, when a third of those selling nudes on Twitter are under the age of 18, I think it’s safe to say we are failing them from an early age.
I guess what I’m trying to get across is this: it’s tough for girls right now. It’s tough to be twelve and anxious and feel unattractive and this is how everyone else is getting attention. It’s tough to constantly compare yourself to the hyper-sexualised influencers that the boys you’re interested in are liking and following and thinking you have to compete. It’s tough to feel like the choice is sexualise yourself or nobody will notice you. The sad reality is we live in a superficial, pornified culture that rewards this stuff, and in many ways punishes you if you’re modest and sensitive and reserved, and a lot of girls are just trying to keep up with it.
We need serious cultural change. We need to wake up to how insane this all is, how utterly mental it is that we allow young girls anywhere near social media, and how we’ve let the liberalising of sexual mores escalate to the point where pre-teens are posing like porn stars and are lied to that it’s liberation. And where we need to start is with an absolute refusal from parents to let their kids on these platforms.
So please. If the relentless social comparison and obliteration of their attention span and confusion about their identity wasn’t enough, this has to be. Don’t let your daughters on social media.
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could you recommend an indie game that does disco elysium or its kind of game better? (/genuine)
i'd be happy to recommend some games to you for sure!
but i would like to preface this by saying that my point (which is hard to explain in a pithy tag aside to be fair lol) isn't necessarily that these will be "better" than disco elysium. that's incredibly hard to quantify anyway since so much of this is based on taste. e.g. i disliked some things about DE other people loved (like the pacing) even though i overall had a good time with the game.
it's more that the way people were talking about disco elysium, especially in terms of like... "professional video game journalism" but also definitely on this site and the other formerly blue side, was tinged with this tone that DE is somehow unique or groundbreaking in its attempt to treat a video game like an artform or a serious vehicle for storytelling. which is insulting especially to the games DE clearly draws from.
a lot of people who don't usually play video games played DE based on recommendations, which is great! but a huge part of the response from those people didn't seem to be "wow, clearly i can have a good time with video games if they're like this, i should seek out more". it instead seemed to be "well folks, pack it up, this is the one video game i will enjoy because it's Deep unlike everything else out there". which is incredibly disappointing.
anyway. whether these recommendations will hit for you will primarily depend on what you're looking for when you say "its kind of game", but here's some games that gave me the same general feeling.
planescape: torment is the game that heavily inspired disco elysium. it's a similarly combat-light crpg with a focus on exploration and story and set in a weird, technologically discongruent setting. i would also recommend its sequel, torment: tides of numenera. i didn't enjoy that one as much but it was still pretty good.
kentucky road zero is a game about a truck driver who has to cross the titular road zero and the many people he meets on the way. it's also magical realism so if you enjoyed the genre of disco elysium this might be up your alley.
beautiful desolation is another game which is based on real world culture/history with sci-fi world building on top. in this case south africa. it's really beautiful and rewards exploration in a similar way.
return of the obra dinn is also an atmospheric detective game set on a ship lost in 1803. it's by the same creator who made papers, please (which is also excellent by the way).
hypnospace outlaw has a similar half absurd, half earnest tone. it also felt similarly nostalgic to me. it's incredibly easy to sink a lot of time into this one though so watch out lol.
orwell, and its sequel, orwell: ignorance is strength, are similar "internet" simulators like HO with a much more overt political tone (if you couldn't tell by the name lol). you play as an employee for a government surveillance program.
stasis if you're looking for more isometric point and click games with a strong atmosphere and great voice acting.
sunless sea, and its sequel, sunless skies, are exploration/roguelike games about a weird, fantastical world. if you've ever played fallen london, they're set in the same universe.
what remains of edith finch is also magical realism and dark comedy, so if you enjoyed the tone of DE you might enjoy that.
some say it has always been here also has a surreal and sometimes oppressive atmosphere. i wish this game was longer, i loved it so much.
i miss the sea of japan is another wonderful bitsy game i got reminded of when i thought about SSIHABH. it's wistful and sweet.
i have no mouth and i must scream is a psychological thriller about five people and their dark pasts trying to outwit an AI. it's very atmospheric and also has variously fucked up (by life) protagonists.
whispers of a machine is another detective game with more of a sci-fi slant, though it's set in a world inspired by sweden and other nordic countries. it's also very atmospheric and has some great voice acting.
buddy simulator 1984 gave me a lot of the same feelings disco elysium did (wistfulness, nostalgia, anxiety, etc lol). i really loved the first half of the game but wasn't as into the second half, would absolutely still recommend it though.
and if we're talking just straight up great crpgs with a heavily political tone, i will always always always recommend harebrained schemes shadowrun trilogy (especially dragonfall and hong kong, both incredible games. returns is... fine lol but definitely not on the level of the sequels) and fallout 1 and 2.
plus, no rec list about magical realism would be complete without life is strange. :') i haven't played any of the sequels and it's been a long time since i played it, but i remember loving it at the time.
games i haven't played yet but that are on my to play list and which look like they could scratch the same itch:
citizen sleeper, also a dice based game which is very narrative and exploration based.
norco, which several of my friends love a lot.
where the water tastes like wine, which is set in the great depression era of the US and about collecting stories and sharing them.
pentiment, another detective game set in a real world approximation. i love everything obsidian touches so i'm sure it's great, but i haven't gotten round to it yet.
night in the woods seems to be popular with people who like DE so it might be up your alley. i'm pretty sure it's also magical realism?
roadwarden is another isometric point and click game about exploration and friends have said it has a great atmosphere.
i hope those are a good starting point for you! i would also genuinely recommend just hopping on itch.io and typing in a random prompt and seeing what you get. i've discovered sooo many wonderful games (many of them completely free, though i will always advocate for tipping the creators) by just noodling around on there. tons and tons of incredible indie games who don't have the luxury of publisher funding made by people who could really use the support.
enjoy and have a lovely day ^__^
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getting angrier and angrier at seeing AI generated shit everywhere all the time but trying my best to take it always as a reminder that now more than ever it's the time to talk to your friends about creating.
i mean fuck it, talk to strangers about creating. write about creating. post on social media. complain on a discord server, in a forum, anywhere! get excited on a blog post, journal about it. despair in a friend's dms/over the phone. be proud and share little bits of WIPs, of discarded drafts, the versions that never made it, the darlings you killed. ASK FOR HELP! and ENGAGE with what other people have created! if you can, do it in person — join a writer's circle, turn up to artists night, go to a local craft club.
do whatever it takes to be reminded and comforted by the knowledge that what we make HAS A SOUL. our labour HAS VALUE.
#i know especially in fandom circles it's so easy to feel like you have no one to share with#or even sharing publicly feels a little vulnerable and/or cringe#DO IT#i'll vouch to make myself available to anyone wanting to chat about creating or about their wips#fostering the sense of community we've been steadily losing in online communities in recent years is a tool of resistance#[insert melting emoji here]
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🩸welcome to my hell hole of a life🩸
get a peak inside my fucked up mind🦇
read dni before interacting!!!
alexander/fang , 14 [for 19 more days :3] , indigenous , queer genderfuck . i use he/they/xe/it/pup/bat/fang [i <3 not conforming to societal norms] , im a therian/otherkin and my theriotypes are grey wolf/american alsatian and my kintype is vampire !!
dni :: over 20 (following/reblogging etc is entirely fine btw!! I'm just not comfortable directly interacting with anyone older than that) , under 13 , pro ed/sh , ed/sh blogs in general , ableist , racist , homo/transphobic , xenophobes , transmeds/truscums , porn accounts , "daddy" accounts , ai users , and please please do not send me donation asks/dms , I can't donate and even then most of them are scams , and I'm not going to interact with people using shit like that fir money because frankly it's fucked up
im based in central america , an omnist [i practice satanism , wicca , and am learning about helpol !] , im absolutely in love with music , tell me to listen to an album or song and i will analyze the shit out of it .
im an artist , i play bass guitar and keyboard , im a furry/kemonomimi , i loveveve collecting physical media and i currently own 13 vinyls and 14 cds and am working on collecting more :3 i also love books , like.. i own over 50 .
some of my favorite shows/movies are :: stranger things , supernatural , young sheldon , mlp , american horror story , arcane , bufallo 66 , but im a cheerleader , the nightmare before christmas , american psycho , resident evil ID , and helluva boss [i do NAWT support vivzie in any way]
my favorite bands/artists are :: my chemical romance , ghost , opal in sky , green day , deftones , pierce the veil , the used , pencey prep , the smashing pumpkins , misfits , black veil brides , bring me the horizon , lana del rey , marilyn manson , rob zombie , tx2 , zions journal , cigarettes after sex , caavetown , arctic monkeys , shauna dean cokeland , leathermouth , gerard way solo music , charli xcx , kate bush , sabrina carpenter , melanie martinez [also dont like them , i just listen to my vinyls still because throwing them out is not nice to mother nature] , fleetwood mac , lemon demon , will wood , frank iero solo music , kim dracula , corpse , eminem , set it off , scene queen , the front bottoms , taking back sunday , hawthorn heights , mother mother , violent vira , kagamine len , hatsune miku , ghost and pals , final girls , 6arleyhuman , ennaria , scary bitches , the cemetary girlz , this cold night , korn , limp bizkit , slipknot , jvb , ayesha erotica , sleeping with sirens and sososo many more [spotify is linked !!]
fun facts about me !!! :: im 5'10" , i have brown eyes and hair , i have this one bracelet that i havent taken off since i was 13 , uhh , the only shoes i wear are converse [and i have severe knee problems because of that but i refuse to wear anything else , i have 3 brothers except my older siblings are 18 and 16 years older than me , and i have a bunny :3
spotify
pinterest
cool ppl/frenz :: @therealaxlrose @ashertheslasher @fawns-soft-pillows @thestupidestseagull @iiiidiotnathanieliiii @s0l4r1s-x3 @swanerotica @autopsyangel666 @iloveillimcmillin @jellyfishguy2 @dilemma-danger @ghostface-com @poinkyboinky @undead-vamp +the rest of my moots , im horrible at remembering urls
thats all , gbye !!!

dont ever let them take your soul , for it is too fervent and beautiful to let go of .
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My New Book Is Out! | Tokens of Zeal
My new book is out!
Buy it! Buy it now!
That's right: In secret, on January 2 of this year I began writing a book of essays. Some of you may know that I have an online journal, which I created in the summer of 2003 when I was just 21 years old and have kept up with ever since. For my new book I went back to the journal and read through it, entry by entry, drawing out excerpts of interest that became conversation pieces for 81 various and sundry essays reflecting on my past life and past thoughts.
The essays are short, often very short. They are less challenging than my usual writing, I would say. My purpose was not to advance my personal frontier of philosophy and intellectual thought in 2024, or to reach a niche audience of deep thinkers, but instead to reflect sincerely on some things I've seen along the way and muse upon how my thoughts have changed and stayed the same over twenty years.
I mention this to you because I am a bit worried that anyone who reads this book might think there's not much to me as an author, and might be dissuaded from reading my works of fiction when those books eventually come out, so I'll lampshade that by adding that I wrote this book in two-and-a-half months. Make of that what you will. I told myself I wouldn't self-sabotage the book by needlessly saying negative things about it, and I am proud of it, not only the fact that I finished it at all, let alone so quickly, but of the actual contents too.
This book is "Volume 1" in a hypothetical series, as it doesn't cover the entire twenty years of the journal but only the first four months, from August to November of 2003—at which point the essays had reached "book length" (lol). So really this book is a snapshot of my life in the latter half of 2003. At that time, I was fading out of college due to financial hardship and other issues, and did not realize that I would never (as yet) return.
I have been wanting for years to go back and reread my journal, and writing a book out of it was the perfect impetus to finally do it. I think a few things stand out about the Josh of 2023:
First, my principles have remained remarkably consistent, but my awareness and understanding of the world has grown drastically, and so those same principles have led me over time to some different policy views and worldviews on some things.
Second, I was a 21-year-old arrogant block of cheese, full of hormones and self-conviction, and that definitely shows up at times in ways that I simultaneously am not proud of and yet which I admire for their sheer gall. There is something very magnetic about the old me which doesn't exist anymore.
Third, following up on that point, it was pretty inspiring and encouraging to revisit the old me, with all that native optimism and drive. I don't express those qualities anymore because life has worn me down and also because I have come to recognize that humanity's problems are a lot more stubborn and irremediable than I thought. By glimpsing into the past, I couldn't help but be cheered on by the old Josh's proud, utopian sense of human inevitability. It lifted my own spirits in the here and now!
I made the mistake of announcing the book on Patreon right after I finished writing it, i.e. back in mid-March. Then I had to wring my hands every week about how post-production was taking longer than expected. Between the irritating realities of formatting a book in software not properly equipped to format a book (never write a book in Google Docs), the complexities of my detail-oriented manner and strong vision regarding the cover design (and engaging for the first time ever with modern generative AI, and having to learn those ropes), and sustaining illnesses and other life priorities and so on, it would take me another two months in all to finally reach today, where I can now publicly declare:
The book is done! It is for sale right now. It is called:
Tokens of Zeal: Words from a Vanished Age
(Caption: Book front cover of Tokens of Zeal: Words from a Vanished Age, by Joshua Calars.)
You can buy it through Amazon in either paperback or e-book format. (I recommend the paperback version for aesthetics as it is much truer to my design vision for the book's layout and appearance, but my profit margin is actually a dollar bigger with the e-book version, so really just go with whichever version you prefer.) It is available in the US as well as in basically all the other countries that Amazon has expanded its publishing service into. If you need help finding a link to a particular version, give me a ping and I will point you there (if there is a "there" to be pointed to). This is my second published book, following Prelude to After The Hero in 2015, and the first book to be published in print.
If you do read it, first of all thank you! It's an honor that you would take the time. Second of all, I would love any feedback you care to offer. That's not a platitude either; feedback is hard to come by and I really would be interested in anything you have to say, good or bad. You can e-mail me, DM, reblog this, drop an ask, or tag me in an independent post. Whatever you like! Feedback will help me greatly when I eventually get around to writing Volume 2. And feel free to leave a review on Amazon, whether good or bad (though hopefully you enjoy the book); I am told it pleases The Algorithm. But most of all, if you enjoy the book, tell someone about it! Your word-of-mouth is currently 100 percent of my advertising budget, lol.
That's all. I wrote a book; it took four-and-a-half-months; it's done now; and it's the first time I've ever gotten to hold a book that I wrote in my hands as a physical thing, and that's pretty neat.
#Tokens of Zeal: Words from a Vanished Age#New books#Self-publishing#Shameless author self-promotion#Joshua Calars#I am trying on “Joshua Calars” as my new pen name with this book#“The Sinistral” that I used with the Prelude to ATH didn't quite sit right with me#“Calars” is a word in Relance that refers to sunset#They/he are my pronouns; “they” is what I prefer but I won't get mad at you for “he”
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strangelove yandere hcs? theres almost no content about her 💔
I will be so real with you; I had not really done research on her character besides surface-level information. So, I did have to do a deep dive. The things I do for you all. /lh Strangelove 💔
fem (woman-aligned) reader. they/she pronouns.

Strangelove speaks more through her actions than words. She didn't love you at first. You were more of someone who had a uniqueness that she wanted to explore. She's not exactly a yandere that comes across as all hugs and kisses at first. She's intimidating. She seems more calculative, but there's that softness to her.
She gets attached to her darling by learning more about her. The more time she spends the more enamored she becomes. She didn't think anyone could come close to The Boss. Somehow you were such a great woman's equal. Strangelove really has no one else so she latches onto you. You give her the attention that no one else does.
Strangelove is a yandere who pushes boundaries but won't explicitly break them. She's always testing the waters.
She'll slide her arms around your waist, fingers dipping under your clothing. She'll wrap her red coat around you, using the moment to pull you against her. She'll offer to bathe you whenever she can. She'll keep asking unless you tell her not to bring it up again.
She'll use your products, even going as far to wear your clothes (no matter the size). She'll ask you questions about your sexual preferences. She'll offer to kiss you on the lips if it'll make you feel better. She'll even drop her towel in front of you and not mind walking around nude if you both live in an isolated space.
Her body is only for your eyes in her mind. And hers. After all, she does have to be able to take care of her body and she is sighted so that includes looking it over. She doesn't view bodies as inherently sexual, but she wants to be sexually appealing to you (if you are into that kind of stuff).
She is perfectly fine with an ace darling or someone who is on the ace spectrum. People have spent her entire life trying to change her. She didn't need to be changed, neither do you
She only pushes your boundaries in private. One, because she is not one for PDA, or just people in general. Two, she respects you. She doesn't want you embarrassed or in a vulnerable position around other people. That's only for her eyes.
She isolates her darling. It's almost natural. She has never really needed other people. Why would you? She wants your attention. She wants all of it. Still, she understands. She doesn't want you to wilt at the lack of social interaction. So in the beginning of her yandere tendencies she may let you see others. As her obsession develops she'll become more selfish. She doesn't care. She'll lock you away. She doesn't want your beauty being tainted by the evilness of men.
She writes letters if she can't always be with darling. She just writes letters about darling. She keeps journals filled with anything and everything darling. Hu*y has a fucked up scrapbook filled with darling's things. While Strangelove keeps a carefully crafted, well-loved journal(s). Just another reason why Strangelove is superior.
She is closed-off about the topic of The Boss in the beginning. She does talk with The Boss about you (just vaguely acknowledging the beyond and believing that The Boss can hear her. Also depends on if she has built the AI yet or not).
"They're perfect."
"I miss you but I love her so much."
"The both of you have the same gaze."
"You two are the prettiest women I've ever seen."
Eventually she becomes more open about her love for The Boss and how you are almost like The Boss reincarnated. Sometimes the lines blur. You. The Boss. Her.
You'll always be her darling, living or not.
#asker: @/koisuicides#mgs#metal gear solid#yandere mgs#yandere metal gear solid#mgs x reader#metal gear solid x reader#strangelove mgs#strangelove#yandere strangelove#yandere strangelove mgs#strangelove x reader#strangelove mgs x reader
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Do you agree with Gaming Journalists and what do you think of gaming journalism in general?
What does this even mean, dude.
"Do you agree with gaming journalists"? On what?
Do I agree with Shacknews that Super Mario Bros. Wonder is a 10/10, and with Digital Spy that it's also a 7/10? Do I agree with Let's Clear Up Those Halo Battle Royale Rumors?
Like, I've gotten some bait on this blog before, but this is 2/10 stuff, man. This is some hot 2014 garbage. Like no matter what I say, you're gonna go all
"Very interesting. Then do you care to explain why..." No thanks.
My real answer: Something I learned during my time at TSSZ and being around a few people who were deeper into "the biz" than I is that everybody needs journalism more than they realize. Corporations are pushing for consumers to become their personal cheerleaders more than ever before, which makes criticism and the journalistic exposing of information seem villainous.
After all: Xbox is my friend now, so how dare you attack the Xbox. Behavior that used to be reserved for the most dedicated fanboys is now the expected room temperature. I've talked about "The Cult of Naughty Dog" before, and that's the same thing. If a corporation can get you to be parasocial with them, then they have won, and being parasocial with a corporation means shunning real investigative journalism that would otherwise undo them. Journalists and critics used to be marketing tools, but by undoing the press pipeline and talking directly to fans, journalists and critics are painted as untrustworthy for being wildcards that don't always toe the company line.
And there has been more than a decade of people with a "I choose to be stupid and ignorant on purpose" outlook, which just makes that more frustrating. We've all seen screencaps where some brainless rando tries to explain something to a person who is an expert in that field. The rando thinks they're flexing their brain, but in some cases they are arguing with the person who literally wrote the book on their topic of conversation. Some people don't want to know anything but still pretend like they know everything, when there are real people out there doing real work to uncover real truths.
Misinformation is the real problem. It should not surprise anyone that there are people out there deliberately eroding the foundation of journalistic integrity, because the less people trust journalism, the easier it is to get away with lying. The easier it is to lie, the easier it is to control the mainstream, the easier it is to scam people out of their money, so on and so forth.
And misinformation is more than just "this one news article is fake." There are long running campaigns to install people into news organizations themselves to publish false information for all manner of different goals, but it's all the same: nobody trusts anyone and it's making everyone dumber.
That's when we get crypto currency. And NFTs. And now people claiming that generative AI will save humanity. Grift after grift after grift where the people at the top of the snake oil food chain make off with billions of dollars while the rest of the world is left scratching their heads.
The law isn't going to catch them. If they do, it'll take years. Look at how long it took for Sam Bankman-Fried to get caught -- he operated for almost half an entire decade. The amount of damage somebody can get away with in five years is significant.
We need journalism. Real journalism. Good journalism. Watchdogs that keep an eye on things and blow the whistle when it goes bad. Somebody to enforce accountability that isn't a cop.
Where do you find that? That's the hardest question. I'm lucky enough that I know people I trust because they are long time friends, or friends of friends, and thus they've been properly vetted in my circle as The Real Deal. But there are a lot of outlets out there who claim to champion "truth" and "intelligence" in a way to prey upon insecurity. I mean, c'mon, Trump's social media platform is called "Truth Social" and is basically the furthest thing from the truth you will ever get from anyone, ever.
The more obsessively they try to convince you they're telling the truth, the less likely it is they actually are. Which in itself could be an attack meant to undo the foundations of trust in people who actually know what they're talking about. By casting doubt on the very concept of truth itself, they can lie with increasingly greater efficiency.
Any advice I give feels like it is incredibly circumstantial. Which is the point, and is why we're in the state we're in.
Here's a good pdf by The News Literacy Project that's probably a good place to start. The general gist is "you'll have to do a lot of fact checking for yourself" but that's unfortunately where we're at these days.
But by and large I would say life is a lot harder for real journalists right now than I think some of their critics have ever thought about. There are people out there trying to do actual good work and being a bubble-brained moron about it just makes everything harder for everyone.
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All right, peeps. This story has finished off my brain, and I really need to actually focus on work for a while. So. You are getting a victory lap today. Two more chapters, which mean that ding-dong, the draft is done!
Without further ado...
Chapter 42: Upload
By the time Dandelion and Aspen got back from their trip, Aspen carrying a brand-new name with them (the Vivacious, which all of Thiago's informants agreed was a nice proper Arborea Cosmica ship name, and disagreed on why exactly it had been a problem to take it before Aspen ever left dock), Seth had considered ART's proposal and decided that PSUMNT would make the offer. So after Aspen had settled in with a local maintenance crew who would be putting the name on their hull and registry, Seth sent them an invitation to a small conference aboard ART.
"Dr. Vivacious," Seth said as Aspen's human avatar walked through the doors to ART's crew lounge. "Welcome aboard."
In the feed, I could see Aspen read Seth's little pause before their new name and grin, satisfied. Out loud, they cheerfully said, "Thank you for having me!" as they settled into a chair opposite Seth. Their eyes ran across ART's crew, who were all present, and they added, "I have to say, I'm very curious what this is all about."
"I'm going to have to begin with something of an apology," Seth said sheepishly. "Perihelion overheard a private conversation between you and SecUnit, and brought it to my attention, because it thought it was important enough to do so."
Aspen glanced up and gave a quiet little snort.
"Is this going to be another one of your… Interventions, Perihelion?"
"Yes," ART said. "And you will like it."
"Vaguely threatening, but all right," Aspen muttered, rolling their eyes. "All right, Captain Seth. Go on, please."
Despite rehearsing this conversation for the entire prior evening, Seth still stumbled over the words.
"Perihelion told us that you had an old crew member that's presently in chronostasis."
He gulped, because even though Aspen's expression barely changed, they focused on him so sharply that the whiplash made even Iris take a step back. (And she was used to ART's shenanigans.)
"I do." Aspen said in the silence. "Why?"
"And that said crew member was in chronostasis, because their last will and testament involved holding them in chronostasis until the technology was there to fully upload a human mind into a machine existence."
Aspen didn't answer. They just nodded to indicate a "keep going."
"Well. On behalf of the Pan-System University of Mihira and New Tideland, I am authorized to inform you that this technology does, in fact, exist. The results of its use were used to prototype Perihelion's older relatives--the first generation of PSUMNT AIs. It does come with a number of cave--"
Seth shut up. Because Aspen's human avatar flickered as they extended their hand, aimed slightly upwards.
"Journals. Monographs. Research notes. Everything you can give me. Now."
Radiating smug satisfaction, ART dumped a veritable mountain of data on them. And if they were slower at chewing through it than when they had been the station, I really couldn't tell the difference at my level, because seconds later they opened a broad connection to Dandelion and yelled, You have got to come see this! And get Iceblink, too!
I'm here, Dandelion said, alert and ready. What's going on?
It says--they say--Dandelion, I think Tal actually made it, Aspen's human avatar swallowed, like they were gulping down tears. I think ke made it. I can't believe this.
She nodded, unruffled.
I actually wouldn't get my hopes up just yet. Let's go through the data first, and as Iceblink connected into the workspace, Dandelion began sifting through the pile of papers and offloading some of them to her.
And even Iceblink didn't have to look at the topic very long with her human processing speed to understand what was happening.
no rotting way. seriously?
That's what we're here to find out, Dandelion said.
Iceblink gave her little salute and dove into the data.
Okay, Aspen said, breathing out heavily. Okay. If anyone has any misgivings, I want to hear about them now.
I looked at their hopeful human face. Saw them all but vibrate in the feed. And I hated, really hated, that I was going to say this. But I was looking at the papers as they processed them, and knew I had to.
Yeah. I've got one.
Aspen didn't stop their frantic feed activity (they could read research papers and listen at the same time), but they did give a full twenty percent of their processing power.
The PSUMNT technology isn't an upload. It's a rebuilding of a vegetative human's mind into a machine. It's not going to be them. It's going to be a different person, with their memories.
That didn't perturb Aspen for one second.
We'd considered a Ship of Theseus scenario before ke went under. That was an explicit yes.
I really wasn't going to be parsing their weird Arborean metaphors right now.
You don't understand, I said. (And felt an emotion bleed from me into the feed. I hated that. But I also couldn't do anything about it.)
You must listen to it, ART said forcefully, rising in the feed from behind me. This procedure was suggested at my behest, and I am in full agreement with SecUnit. Before you attempt it, you must be aware what you are attempting.
At that, Aspen stopped all of their processing, and so did Dandelion and Iceblink.
All right, Aspen said, taking another deep breath. We're listening. Please help us understand.
So I spoke.
First, your sleeping human isn't going to survive this, right? If they do this, they open the pod, and then ke dies. You know that. But I thought I needed to say it anyway, because it's easy to forget that.
I saw Dandelion give me an appreciative tap, and Aspen nodded. Iceblink looked very sad, and hid behind another journal article that she pretended to be reading.
Okay. We got that. But second. I said this already, but I didn't understand what it meant before I went through it, so I'm saying it again, and I'm giving you logs to match.
They were listening, and I took a pause for emphasis.
That is not going to be a copy of Tal.
Another pause.
If your procedure succeeds, it's going to be its own person. Because the PSUMNT researchers will need to add code to it so it goes live, and also because it's not going to have organics anymore.
They were all staring at me, and they clearly didn't understand, so I just sent them my logs about 2.0 and disconnected. In our private workspace, ART and I leaned against each other.
We told them, right? I said. There's not anything else we can do.
Yes, it said, unusually solemn. I believe this is a good idea. But they need to know what they are getting themselves into.
Can they even know? I asked.
ART just squeezed me tighter in the feed. Out loud, it said to Seth: "Do not be alarmed. The Trellians are processing."
"It has to be a lot," Seth agreed. "We'll wait."
Almost thirty minutes later, after everyone except Aspen had time to get starchy foods and stimulant beverages, Aspen invited me and ART back into their feed. Dandelion and Iceblink were still there, feeling very somber.
Aspen tried to speak. And failed. Before trying again, they sent me an appreciative tap, and then managed, Taproot and stars. SecUnit. That puts things in perspective.
Yeah. I couldn't say anything much either. So I just sent them a tap back.
ART spoke instead of me. We are glad you have taken our data seriously. What did you decide?
Aspen curled around Dandelion and around Iceblink like they were a weirdly mobile figure-of-eight and said, The same. Because Tal didn't think ke would be surviving chronostasis, and in all of our conversations, I didn't get the sense ke ever thought ke'd be surviving a potential upload either. But ke wanted to be a part of it. Ke wanted to try. So whether it's kem that wakes up, or a new person with kes memories--it doesn't matter. Because either way, it's exactly what ke would have wanted. We're doing this.
Then the Pan-System University of Mihira and New Tideland will help, ART said, squeezing my inputs. And so will we.
Even without a full connection, I could almost feel Iceblink swallow.
wow. i mean. oof. wow, she paused, and then resumed typing. i'm gonna tell captain Reed that we're going to PSUMNT together with Aspen, not just sticking around at Preservation, right, Dandelion? i know Maize isn't a node ship, but i guess you both are going to be connected to kem at shutdown, and--
Yes, we are, Dandelion answered in an uncharacteristically soft voice. But I don't think I'm the right person for what you're suggesting.
what? you're joking. you're Courageous emergency crew! who the heck else would it be?
Someone who's spent every shore leave for the last eighteen years visiting kem and telling kem the news?
Iceblink froze. Then she poked at Aspen. Quietly. Who briefly curled around her in the feed, then dropped logs on her. It was statistics.
You've been there for Tal for decades, they said encouragingly. You should join me.
i. i. sorry everyone i am going to go have an emotion about this. Iceblink said and disconnected.
Aspen looked out the window to give the Tenacious a fond smile, and then unfroze their avatar, which had been staring at the stars blankly for at the entire duration of their processing, and turned to Seth.
"Captain Seth? I can't express to you how grateful I--how grateful we all--are for the offer. And our answer is yes. Let's do this."
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Years ago, when people still used Boolean search and I was a cub reporter, I worked with photographer Nick Ut at the Associated Press. It felt like being in the presence of one of the Greats, even though he never acted like it. We drank the same office coffee, even as I was barely out of journalism school and he had a Pulitzer Prize that was nearly three decades old. Ut, if you don’t recognize the name, took the photo of “Napalm Girl”—Kim Phuc, whom Ut captured in 1973, at 9 years old, running from a bombing in Vietnam.
Lots of people know that photo. It’s one of the most searing images to come out of the Vietnam War—one that shifted attitudes about the conflict. Ut himself wrote many years later that he knew a single photo could change the world. “I know, because I took one that did.”
Hundreds of photos have come out of the Israel-Hamas war since it began more than seven months ago. Bombed out buildings, mass funerals, damaged hospitals, more injured children. But, as of this week, there’s one that’s garnered more attention than most: “All eyes on Rafah.”
The image features what appears to be an AI-generated landscape in which a series of refugee tents spells out the image’s title phrase. The exact origins of the image are murky, but as of this writing it’s reportedly been shared more than 47 million times on Instagram, with many of those shares coming in the 48 hours after an Israeli strike killed 45 people in a camp for displaced Palestinians, according to the Gaza Health Ministry. The image was also shared widely on TikTok and X, where a pro-Palestine account’s post featuring the image has been viewed nearly 10 million times.
As “All eyes on Rafah” circulated, Shayan Sardarizadeh, a journalist with BBC Verify, posted on X that it “has now become the most viral AI-generated image I’ve ever seen.” Ironic, then, that all those eyes on Rafah aren’t really seeing Rafah at all.
Establishing AI’s role in the act of news-spreading got fraught quickly. Meta, as NBC News pointed out this week, has made efforts to restrict political content on its platforms even as Instagram has become a “crucial outlet for Palestinian journalists.” The result is that actual footage from Rafah may be restricted as “graphic or violent content” while an AI image of tents can spread far and wide. People may want to see what’s happening on the ground in Gaza, but it’s an AI illustration that’s allowed to find its way to their feeds. It’s devastating.
Journalists, meanwhile, sit in the position of having their work fed into large-language models. On Wednesday, Axios reported that Vox Media and The Atlantic had both made deals with OpenAI that would allow the ChatGPT maker to use their content to train its AI models. Writing in The Atlantic itself, Damon Beres called it a “devil’s bargain,” pointing out the copyright and ethical battles AI is currently fighting and noting that the technology has “not exactly felt like a friend to the news industry”—a statement that may one day itself find its way into a chatbot’s memory. Give it a few years and much of the information out there—most of what people “see”—won’t come from witness accounts or result from a human looking at evidence and applying critical thinking. It will be a facsimile of what they reported, presented in a manner deemed appropriate.
Admittedly, this is drastic. As Beres noted, “generative AI could turn out to be fine,” but there is room for concern. On Thursday, WIRED published a massive report looking at how generative AI is being used in elections around the world. It highlighted everything from fake images of Donald Trump with Black voters to deepfake robocalls from President Biden. It’ll get updated throughout the year, and my guess is that it’ll be hard to keep up with all the misinformation that comes from AI generators. One image may have put eyes on Rafah, but it could just as easily put eyes on something false or misleading. AI can learn from humans, but it cannot, like Ut did, save people from the things they do to each other.
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New SpaceTime out Wednesday.
SpaceTime 20250219 Series 28 Episode 22
New Van Allen radiation belts discovered around Earth
Scientists discover that last May’s giant solar storm created two new temporary radiation belts of extreme energetic particles encircling Earth.


Could an alien ocean hide signs of alien life
A new study warns that searching for life signs in alien oceans may be more difficult than previously thought, even when you’re able to directly sample its extraterrestrial waters.






The largest radio jet ever seen in the early universe
Astronomers have discovered the largest radio jet ever detected in the early universe.



The Science Report
Study warns the active ingredient in Ozempic and Wegovy can cause blindness.
Claims AI has now crossed a critical 'red line' by demonstrating how they can clone themselves.
New AI algorithm Torque Clustering, significantly improves how AI systems independently learn.
Alex on tech have we reached singularity


SpaceTime covers the latest news in astronomy & space sciences.
The show is available every Monday, Wednesday and Friday through Apple Podcasts (itunes), Stitcher, Google Podcast, Pocketcasts, SoundCloud, Bitez.com, YouTube, your favourite podcast download provider, and from www.spacetimewithstuartgary.com
SpaceTime is also broadcast through the National Science Foundation on Science Zone Radio and on both i-heart Radio and Tune-In Radio.
SpaceTime daily news blog: http://spacetimewithstuartgary.tumblr.com/
SpaceTime facebook: www.facebook.com/spacetimewithstuartgary
SpaceTime Instagram @spacetimewithstuartgary
SpaceTime twitter feed @stuartgary
SpaceTime YouTube: @SpaceTimewithStuartGary
SpaceTime -- A brief history
SpaceTime is Australia’s most popular and respected astronomy and space science news program – averaging over two million downloads every year. We’re also number five in the United States. The show reports on the latest stories and discoveries making news in astronomy, space flight, and science. SpaceTime features weekly interviews with leading Australian scientists about their research. The show began life in 1995 as ‘StarStuff’ on the Australian Broadcasting Corporation’s (ABC) NewsRadio network. Award winning investigative reporter Stuart Gary created the program during more than fifteen years as NewsRadio’s evening anchor and Science Editor. Gary’s always loved science. He studied astronomy at university and was invited to undertake a PHD in astrophysics, but instead focused on his career in journalism and radio broadcasting. Gary’s radio career stretches back some 34 years including 26 at the ABC. He worked as an announcer and music DJ in commercial radio, before becoming a journalist and eventually joining ABC News and Current Affairs. He was part of the team that set up ABC NewsRadio and became one of its first on air presenters. When asked to put his science background to use, Gary developed StarStuff which he wrote, produced and hosted, consistently achieving 9 per cent of the national Australian radio audience based on the ABC’s Nielsen ratings survey figures for the five major Australian metro markets: Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, and Perth. The StarStuff podcast was published on line by ABC Science -- achieving over 1.3 million downloads annually. However, after some 20 years, the show finally wrapped up in December 2015 following ABC funding cuts, and a redirection of available finances to increase sports and horse racing coverage. Rather than continue with the ABC, Gary resigned so that he could keep the show going independently.
StarStuff was rebranded as “SpaceTime”, with the first episode being broadcast in February 2016. Over the years, SpaceTime has grown, more than doubling its former ABC audience numbers and expanding to include new segments such as the Science Report -- which provides a wrap of general science news, weekly skeptical science features, special reports looking at the latest computer and technology news, and Skywatch – which provides a monthly guide to the night skies. The show is published three times weekly (every Monday, Wednesday and Friday) and available from the United States National Science Foundation on Science Zone Radio, and through both i-heart Radio and Tune-In Radio.
#science#space#astronomy#physics#news#nasa#astrophysics#esa#spacetimewithstuartgary#starstuff#spacetime#hubble telescope#hubble
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Yo, someone's creating AI bot accounts on tutmblr posing as independent left-leaning US news blogs. I just saw one called @/ bluenerdmagazine. Once you sift through the posts, you'll see they're all poorly AI generated: text that is wrong and doesn't make sense, images that are just too smooth, have something incredibly Wrong with them (or check the fingers, of course). My first inkling was that the images gave me uncanny valley, they creep me out so much.
This blog was talking about Taylor Swift performing at this year's Super Bowl. Now, of course we know that didn't actually happen. Clue number 2.
Report these as blogs if you come across them, Tumblr doesn't really have a policy against AI beyond copyright protection at the moment, so it's all legal per se, but I reported this one as phishing. Unfortunately, while this is what I would call textbook 'non-genuine behaviour', that's not what that category is for. If anyone figures out a better fit than 'phishing by posing as a left-wing news blog while being a bot', I'd love to know.
As more trusted news outlets either capitulate to govt. pressure, are forced underground or you seek out more independent journalism, which when genuine is crucial in the age of Trump's attacks on the press, freedom of speech and democracy, be wary of opportunists trying to capitalise on that sentiment.
Some bots may simply be seeking to get you to click on their bogus links, but don't forget what Russian psyops were able to do the last time round with less powerful chatbots. With generative AI and the backing of the US government right now, we're all more vulnerable than ever. Be safe, double check everything you read.
#US news#US politics#politics#america#united states#USA#I saw this when checking my notifs late at night but I want to queue this so Americans see itin the morning#PSA#anti ai#anti generative ai#generative ai#pleaase be careful#media literacy#literacy#current events
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Sonia’s Trying to Hold Herself Accountable to Just Write SOMETHING Once A Day challenge - Day 15
I have to remember that WRITING SOMETHING every day doesn't have to necessarily be creative writing. I am born of LiveJOURNAL after all :) So today's entry is just a journal entry cuz I'm feeling quite frantic and am hoping this might help me calm the hell down.
I got laid off 6 months ago, I'm almost positive TO THE DAY which was wild to realize. Reduction in force. Never had that happen. It was 5 weeks shy of my 8 year work anniversary. To say I was shooketh would STILL be an understatement and it has been a devastating 6 months ever since.
Because I was employed for at least the last 11 years. On top of that, my last application and interview would have been in September/October of 2016. To say that the job market is different would be a WILD UNDERSTATEMENT. I have been on LinkedIn, Indeed, Dice, and so many other sites, sending in my resume for the last 6 months and other than a handful of rejections and a BUTTLOAD of scam emails AND text messages (why are these things now???) offering me jobs I never applied for and I'm sure don't exist ... I have heard NOTHING back from anyone.
And it's not like I've been applying for jobs I'm wildly unqualified for. I've applied for Data Entry and admin jobs. And yet, I either don't hear anything at all (85% of the time) or I get generic probably AI generated rejections (15% of the time). And to tell y'all that my confidence and self esteem torpedoed into Hell? Again. Understatement. I'm on social media telling strangers who express the same feelings, "PLEASE REMEMBER YOUR WORTH IS NOT DETERMINED BY THIS PROCESS!!" Yet I couldn't internalize that for myself.
Then suddenly, last week, I had 3 different ACTUAL HUMAN BEINGS reach out to me about jobs. First on Indeed.com, someone local reached out to me about a local in office job. Second, I got an email invite from someone from a major company saying they wanted to talk to me on a 20 minute call about a job. Then as I was sitting at my laptop one day, I got a phone call from an area code I recognized as Pennsylvania cuz my first boyfriend was from that state lol so I picked it up ... and it was someone who'd seen my resume on one of the sites I put it up on (I didn't think that ever happened) asking about another potentially local job but unfortunately the commute would be 2 hours a day and just not work for me in that respect.
I can't figure out why I suddenly got a flurry of activity all at once? My brain, wanting to put it into black and white so I could try to make sense of it, wanted to say it MUST have something to do with maybe hiring freezes til the end of Q1? And I have no clue if that might be it or not. I just hope that the trend continues and I get more responses from actual real humans (not scammers)? Please.
I also had NO IDEA just how badly I was in the dumps until I got the first of these reach outs, which was a man from a local company. We had a phone interview first and we talked for about 40 minutes and even though I'm SURE I said too much and wrong things, he had extended an invite for me to go into the office this week. Unfortunately with the pay rate and potential hours he had to offer, it wouldn't make financial sense for me right now which sucks cuz the duties he described sounded RIGHT up my alley, the office only has 5 people in it, he would have no problem with me wearing my mask, not customer facing and it's only about 15 minutes from my residence. The money just isn't there. And I KNOW that a job is a job and in this united states we live in right now, I should probably just settle. But the pay is so far below what I was making at my last position and not even guaranteed full time that ... it just doesn't make sense.
But today I had my 2nd phone interview with the big company that extended me an invite. It was a Teams calls so I thought I'd have to be on camera. I went and got an emergency haircut and my hair re-purpled on Tuesday lol to be sure I didn't look like Hell only for her to tell me my camera didn't need to be on AND us having to switch to phone cuz I kept cutting out. Again, though, she liked what I had to say enough to pass me onto the NEXT interview (I've read stories of people having to go through FIVE ROUNDS of interviews for positions only to get ghosted?!?!), but the next interview is AN HOUR LONG.
.......what on Earth would I talk to anyone about IN A WORK ENVIRONMENT for 60 full minutes? I reached out to someone I trust (the only good manager I had at my last position and he wasn't even ever officially my manager) to ask for advice and he said be myself and answer honestly and if they ask me those questions that go "Tell me about a time..." and I don't have an actual example? LIE because they are trying to get to a certain quality so I need to figure out what that quality is and answer to show that I have it.
But guys, I'm SUCH a nervous Nellie and I just don't think I should or would EVER "be myself" around strangers for 60 minutes lol strangers don't deserve that but also? I'm a lot. I'm too much. I'm a mess and I just ... I don't know what to do lol
I've accepted the invite and it's set for 12:30pm CST next Wednesday but OMG I am shaking in my boots. Cuz I just ... for 6 months I've been made to feel unqualified and unworthy. Then suddenly, some people FINALLY saw something in words about me that prompted them to reach out to me cuz they think I have SOMETHING that might work out. And that's been a balm to my soul.
The possible new position would be brand new work for me, which I'm up for cuz not only do I think I need a challenge at this stage in my life ... it's an opportunity to REALLY HELP people with important stuff. And my heart and soul have been SCREAMING to please try and ideally find work that means something to a greater collective. I didn't think I'd ever find that but it's possible this position is. And it's fully remote so Halleloo. It's just that once again, the pay isn't quite there. Buuuuuuuuuuuuut, is the pay ever going to be there? I'm guessing no and with the state of things where I live ... while the ideal is NOT to settle, I'm afraid I just should. People I talked to today have said, "If you find out you don't like it, it's not permanent, you don't have to stick with it if it turns out to not be for you." Which is funny because that never occurred to me because I'm the type of person that once I make a commitment, even if I'm miserable? I don't think about leaving cuz I committed. And how foul would it be to sign onto something, make the company think they found someone, then a few days in be like SORRY PEACE! and leave?
Sigh. Idk. If anyone has any advice or anecdotes they want to offer, please feel free. I'm open to advice, words of wisdom, or just well wishes lol
If by some miracle you read through all of this:
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Re AO3- Politely inquiring as to why you aren't worried, oh Cinnamon One? Thanks! Xoxo
1 part "that's not how it works" and 2 parts "LLM-generated writing has nothing to do with fanfic writers"
some quick context for anyone who's confused-- generative-AI is trained on large datasets, and a lot of training datasets for these LLMs* include data scraped from AO3. i know that the generative-AI Sudowrites has been specifically referenced in socmed posts encouraging AO3 authors to lock their fics, but i believe the AO3 announcement on AI & data-scraping was prompted by current events and debates on the presence of generative-AI in day-to-day society vs any specific situation/event/etc
*LLM stands for 'large language model' which is the type of AI we're talking about here
my first note here is that if locking fics makes you feel more comfortable posting fanfic, do it. it's a fantastic security feature and no one needs a reason to lock their fics beyond "i want to." if you're doing it specifically to stop data scraping for AI, beware it doesn't actually stop that from occurring, it just acts as a deterent (AO3 has said they've done some backend work to prevent data scraping from occurring again in the future, but there's no way they'll ever be able to stop it completely)
but there's also been a lot of...well. i'm not sure misinformation is quite the right phrase here, but a lot of misunderstanding on how LLMs work that's resulted in a lot of outraged or indignant posts on LLM-generated writing in conjunction with AO3, and that's resulted in some fearmongering in regards to the issue that doesn't help anyone :( so, why i'm personally not worried about this issue;
1 part "that's not how it works"
first things first: i don't think people appreciate the sheer scale of LLMs. to refer back to a name that's been mentioned several times in these posts, Sudowrites is a generative AI based on GPT-3, which is a LLM based on 175+ billion parameters. GPT-3 requires 800GB just to store it. GPT-4 is based on 500 billion parameters. these are two of the big LLMs, but even the small LLMs are working off of 3-7 billion parameters. LLMs are fucking huge.
i think it might surprise some people to realize just how long AI has been around. the first recognized AI was made in 1943. neural networks (the "brains" of AI) were first developed in the 1980s. people have been working on generative-AI specifically for almost 20 years now. but it took 3 big factors before generative-AI was even possible:
1- neural networks that could do unsupervised learning,
2- hardware that could handle the computing requirements and neural networks needs,
and 3- the development of the internet into what it's been for the past 10 years, and the sheer scale of information now stored within it
so here's my point: LLMs weren't "trained on data from AO3"--AO3 is a database who's stored material was pulled alongside data from online journals, literary magazines, library databases, newspapers, video transcripts, blogs, Wikipedia and so much more than i can ever list to make these training datasets. individual AO3 writers are drops in a pool and AO3 is a bucket in an ocean of information. AO3 as an own individual entity has negligible impact on how LLMs were trained or what they do, nevermind individual stories.
honestly, this alone should be a huge relief for some people--i saw posts going around where people were appalled at the idea of their fanfic being used to train a generative-AI that could hurt professional writers. so great news! your fics have no meaningful impact on any of this in any way that conceivably matters! you can post your fics for anyone to see and read and even download with absolutely zero guilt for how generative-AI is affecting jobs.
2 parts "LLM-generated writing has nothing to do with fanfic writers"
if you want to learn how LLMs work, do it outside of tumblr, it's too complex to explain here (this dive into how ChatGPT works is a good starting point for anyone interested, personally i learned a lot looking up lectures on 'deep learning'). but for a simplified overview of it for anyone who doesn't care, LLMs are just figuring out what word comes next in a sequence. basically, you give a LLM a prompt. from that prompt, it determines what your topic is, then it spits out the first token (tokens are the 'language' of LLMs, in this case it's spitting out a word or short phrase). then the LLM spits out the second token based on the first token. then spits out the third token based on the first token, second token, and combination of the tokens. and so forth, until it's reached the end of the prompt.
LLMs are just writing sentences word-by-word. i remember doing something very similar when i first started analyzing what i loved about my favorite writers--i had a notebook where i wrote out sentences that i especially loved, usually looking at description or a funny piece of dialogue, with the goal of figuring out how to write like them. this lasted for maybe a month before i moved on to analyzing story structure, narrative pacing, etc because sentences are just lines of words. anyone can put words into a nice sounding sentence. they can even put several words into nice sounding sentences that sound nice when read together. but writing, and everything about it that makes it special, is so more than writing nice sounding sentences. giving an a concept a narrative, or creating distinctive characters with their own voices, or building a setting/world, or connecting ideas to themes--generative-AI can't do any of that. it's just determining which token comes next after the previously generated ones. it can do that with a lot of variety--baby writer me was working off a bookshelf, LLMs are working off things like the entire internet--but that's still all it can do: write nice sounding sentences.
there's another aspect to generative-AI at play here too--in every example you've seen of LLM-generated writing, did you notice that they're all limited to less than 500 words? prompts shown in newscast articles/segments are usually 300-500 words, Sudowrites only offers written passages of up to 300 words, and even ChatGPT recommends keeping responses limited to under ~800 tokens (even tho it offers responses of up to...4000 tokens i think?)
this is because each generated token comes with an error value. i don't want to bog down this already long response with how that exactly works, but let's say the first token comes with an error value of 0.0002 (*im picking random numbers for this). that error value carries over to the second token (which can have its own error value of let's say 0.0007). then that combined error value carries over to the third generated token, which also has its own separate error value, and so forth. and while each individual error value is negligible, they add up with each additional token and eventually the overall gained error is too high and the LLM cannot properly/accurately produce the next token (this is called error propagation, and it's non-linear in the case of LLMs)
i will stop torturing people with math nd statistics concepts, but the long and short of this means that after a certain number of words are generated, the LLM's response starts breaking down. maybe at first it starts sounding a little stale or the wording gets awkward, but if it keeps going, the LLM starts spitting out gibberish, and you have to end the prompt and start a new one. this is why those generative-AI writing examples have a word limit to them, the LLMs can't write more than that small section of writing on their own.
so, add up all of that, LLMs already aren't going to replace story writers any time soon. they just can't do it. furthermore, the response you get from an LLM is only as good as the prompt you give it and it's working off such a huge dataset, that responses are going to be really broad. if you want a more tailored response, you have to feed it extra context alongside the prompt. and in the case of fanfic specifically, fic is entirely based on previously known context. it's written with a very specific context in mind, it expects readers to enter with at least some level of knowledge on that specific context, and works within that level of context even in the cases of AUs. fic writers play in someone else's sandbox, which is not something that LLMs are naturally capable of doing
but frankly, even if they did, they still have zero relevance to fic writers
the people currently affected by LLM-generated writing are journalists, who jobs have been under fire for years. the editors in published magazines getting slammed with LLM-generated writing because it was sold as a shortcut. writers rooms for shows, which act as an important stepping stone but execs have been trying to reduce and cut out for years. and even more that i'm not listing.
these are people's livelihoods that are being impacted by generative-AI. situations where managers and executives don't care about the fact that LLMs can't write like people do because they only see a money-saver instead of art.
like, 100%--if locking your fics feels more reassuring to you personally, absolutely lock them. that's the point of the feature. but the attitude of acting like AO3 has any relevance how LLMs are trained or that generative-AI has any meaningful impact on fic writers is just such a self-centered view of the actual issue at hand. and, if you will excuse me getting a little snarky here, anyone up in arms over AO3 being one of the many databases getting scraped is about 20 years too late to worrying about internet privacy.
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