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mrs-i-have-too-many-biases · 5 years ago

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Bang Chan// Sun and Moon (-light)// Chapter five

Summary: Sun and Moon, different from another, but both unmissable in the world. The sun is warm, it provides daylight. It represents life, strength and growth. The moon, the brightest and largest object in our night sky. It makes the earth more liveable and represents admiration, change, mystery and feelings. The sun is untouchable and unreachable, but what if his ,independent, sun(-shine) becomes his world? Tropes: Enemies to Lovers Season: Spring Pairing: Bang Chan X Reader (ft. Seo Changbin) AU: | Delinquent!Female Reader | Vice President!Bang Chan | School!AU | Non!Idol AU | Genre: Fluff/ Angst Word Count: 9,5K Warnings: Themes of bullying, Themes of Abuse, swearing, insults, Anxiety Requested: Yes, (Reference) A/n: For the sake of the fiction, Chan is a twat in the story (his mother is very unpleasant in the story/this chapter), but only for imagines/ fiction purposes only. We all know better than that. I have mentioned his real-life sibling’s names in this chapter/story. Please remember to not harass them.

Y/n had been avoiding Chan ever since the argument. She wouldn’t look at him and she started to skip the classes they shared. It saddened Chan as he thought about the fact that he had ruined the chance to get to know her better and he ruined it with his pushing and pulling.

His friends noticed Chan’s change in behaviour and they found it weird to see their friend acting sulky and sad for days straight, when he was known for his charming smile and dimples that were almost permanently shown on his face. Besides Chan Changbin in behaviour, Y/n did as well. She started to act tough again and she air around her seemed colder than before. She didn’t even bother talking to the teachers anymore. They obviously wanted to ‘fix’ Y/n’s old attitude, but she wasn’t bothered by their concerns. She had better things to worry about.

The teachers would be in class, asking Y/n to solve a problem, but she would blankly stare at them and right after focus her gaze back to the outside world that seemed to be less painful than wherever she was right now. Changbin was the only person right now she wanted to see and speak to. She still didn’t wanted to inform him about her problems, because it just seemed not worth it, to her at least. Changbin saw the sadness in his best friend’s eyes when they facetimed. He wanted to ask her what was wrong, but he knew better. She had to come to him if she wanted to tell him, that was up to her. He had learned that the hard way as well through the years the two had known each other.

At school Chan dare to walk up to her. He had tried to drag her out of class even, since he held that power. Right now he had her outside of her English class. She rolled her eyes at him and wanted to walk away from him, but he grabbed her by her wrist to stop her. “Y/n, you don’t have to fake ‘it’ around me, you know that, right?” The sentence made her angry and rolled her eyes once again at him. She yanked her arm from his grip and walked to the girls’ bathroom. Chan saw the anger forming into her eyes and he felt worse in an instant. He started to feel frustrated as well, because everything he tried, seemed to make everything worse.

And he didn’t wanted that, he felt like he needed to make it up and get to know her better. There was something about her that made him feel and think this way. It drove him crazy.

In the meantime there was a certain someone who seemed to be glad at Chan’s misery and took it into their own advantage, this person as you can guess is Sooyun. Chan was in her eyes a vulnerable person right now, who needed comfort. And who else than her would be the perfect person for that? Which is once again one of the thoughts she had in her little head.

She clung onto him for dear life as the days went on that Y/n was ignoring him. She loved the fact that they weren’t talking anymore. They also seemed to not be going on their little ‘dates’ anymore.

The amount of shit she talked about Y/n is also unbelievable.

“She didn’t deserve you anyway, you’re so much better off without that tramp.” “She wouldn’t fit into our world anyway Chan, you did the poor girl a favour.” “I bet she was just after you for the money, you should watch out with people like that. You can’t trust her.”

Chan heard her words, but they never arrived to his mind, since he was still too busy thinking about a way to make it up to Y/n. Sooyun keeps on talking shit as Y/n walked by them. She heard the terrible words Sooyun was spilling from her lips. Y/n looked at Chan to see if he would step up for her, but he never did. She scoffed to herself in disbelief, feeling more stupid than ever for even thinking about Chan as a friend. When Chan smelled a familiar fragrance, a body mist Y/n loved to wear, his head shot up and saw Y/n’s figure walk off.

He cringed and facepalmed himself as he realised that Sooyun was still rambling on. His guilt was eating himself away and he felt his stomach hitting a pit since he felt even worse for not stepping up for Y/n when he needed to.

During their lunchbreak he didn’t see her outside at her usual spot and he felt weird to not see her on her phone, smiling and talking to whoever was on the other side of the line. He tried to find her and eventually saw her laying on the sport field, enjoying the sun.

“Y/n, can we talk?” Chan asked her hopefully. “What is there to talk about Chan?” She snapped back. He sat down next to her on the warm grass in the hope for her to look at him, but she never did. She continued to lay down with her eyes closed, in the hope of Chan to go away.

“Felix, I don’t know what to do, okay?” Chan ran his hands through his hair in frustration as he talked to his friend after their training. “Why do you care so much about this anyway? It wasn’t like the two of you were the closest. Hell, the two of you couldn’t stand each other before, why would you care now?” Felix’s words were harsh, but they weren’t untrue. Chan questioned himself why he was actually doing this. He felt like he could only talk to Felix about this, since he wouldn’t receive sassy remarks from him during a conversation, unlike Jisung and Minho who seemed to have only sarcasm in their vocabulary.

“Just try talking to her then-“ “You’re saying that as if I haven’t tried that in the first place!” Chan cried out. “Well, then keep on trying, I guess. You’re at least showing her afford that you are indeed trying to make it up to her.” Felix advised, which was exactly what Chan would do.

“You can’t keep doing this Chan.” Y/n sighed as she was dragged out of her class once again. “Only this way I can talk to you.” “I don’t like it.” She admitted as she crossed her arms, waiting for him to speak. Chan opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn’t do it in the hallways of the school. He sighed, before he grabbed her wrist once again, tightly this time, and dragged her outside behind him as she argued against.

“Okay, listen. I’m terribly sorry for the fact that I made you uncomfortable. I shouldn’t have pushed you to tell me and I know that now. I really am so sorry. I quite missed hanging out with you and tutoring you, I guess I kind of looked forward to our sessions, since they’re quite fun and we always hang out after. I miss that. I hope you can forgive me and give me another chance-“ “Chan are you crying?” Y/n asked shocked as she saw his eyes water. “N-no.” He stuttered with a pout on his lips.

Y/n knew his words were sincere and that he was actually sorry. She just needed some time to herself to clear up her mind. She smiled to herself as the boy in front of her was still tearing up. She chuckled lightly before lifting his face up with her finger, so he was facing her again. It took Chan by surprise when she hugged him and comfortingly rubbed his back.

“It’s okay you big baby.” “So, you forgive me?” He asked, still a little in shock. “Of course. You’re sweet and sincere, besides. I can’t let you suffer for any longer, it’s quite sad to see.” She giggled, making him smile into her hair. He felt relieved and joy soon after filled his body. He couldn’t help but lift her up in the air and twirl her around.

She squealed out his name and he giggled as well, nobody was allowed to publicly display affection, basically they broke a school rule. But they didn’t care at that moment, because they were glad to be around each other again.

More days went by. And as every second passed, Chan felt himself becoming smitten for Y/n. He had taken her to his place more often after their tutoring sessions. He even offered to move the tutoring sessions to his place. They would have snacks and boba whilst studying. Music would also be played on the background, which they gladly jammed to as they lip-synced the lyrics.

Chan and Y/n would also have a new favourite spot, which was at the park. They would take Y/n’s motor, to get their easily. Banpo Bridge Park, had become their favourite spot. One day, Y/n came to pick up Chan from his apartment. He told her he was outside with his dog and siblings, playing in their nearby park. His siblings were in awe at the shiny black motor Y/n owned. She offered them a ride, with permission of course and ever since that moment, Y/n had taken over the cool older ‘sister’ roll that Chan used to wear as their brother.

Chan pretended to be hurt that his title was stolen, but he secretly loved it. He felt like his family was accepting her into his life. He loved the interactions she had with Hannah and Lucas, they would be excited to see her and wave from outside their window or balcony to her as she came to pick up Chan for one of their park dates.

Today was one of those days. Y/n was waiting outside, her motor still on as she waited for Chan to arrive downstairs. “Hi Y/n!” She heard a young voice from above her. “Hi Lucas!” She yelled back. “You’re going to the park again?” He asked curiously. “Yes! I also have a bag with snacks! But you will have to come down here if you want them-“ “Wait, wait! I’ll be there! Wait for me!” He yelled, cutting her off as he rushed away from her sight.

She laughed slightly when she heard him yell out his sister’s name to come with.

“Hi Munchkin-“ “Y/n!” Two voices overpowered Chan’s, leaving him chuckling to himself as he watched his siblings run to Y/n’s waiting figure. “Hey Kiddos! There you go.” Y/n sang as she handed over the bag. “Is this all for us?” “Yes! Now, go back up before your mother will wonder where the two of you have run off to.” “Thank you, Y/n!”

“They’re very fond of you.” Chan states as the two had disappeared. “They’re the first then.” Y/n laughed as she threw a helmet Chan’s way. “That’s not true, I am as well.” He said playfully with a wink, sooner enough receiving a pair of rolled eyes his way. “You’re getting on pineapple chunk, or what?” “Excuse me?” “You heard me.” She smirked, causing Chan to shake his head whilst laughing as he put on the helmet.

The ride wasn’t that long, but Chan had always enjoyed the ride. He had to hold himself back to hug Y/n to death as she rode them to their destination. He could faintly smell the body mist she was wearing. He thought she was bad ass and he absolutely loved it. He felt himself falling for her. He really was, and hard as well. He would deny it thought, because he was kept being told that he shouldn’t or couldn’t.

They would arrive at the park, but she stopped at a convenience store, causing Chan to shoot her a confused look.

“That bag with snacks earlier, they were actually for us, but I knew they would love them as well. Besides we can buy some more.” She admitted whilst laughing, causing Chan’s heart to swell a little at her act of kindness.

“Thanks.” Chan muttered as they gathered things they were craving to eat. “For what?” “For being so nice to my siblings, they really are crazy about you.” “No problem, really. They have been nothing but nice to me, it’s the least I could do to be honest.” Her beaming smile as she talked had Chan feeling like the air was being knocked out of his lungs. She was almost literally breath-taking.

She was wearing a knitted vest, skinny jeans and her signature leather jacket in her arm as she walked around. She had been wearing different clothes through the time they hung out together. Her clothes seemed to be more laid-back and casual. He liked her style, because it kind of complimented his own style.

The scenery was beautiful as always as they sat on their usual spot at the park. They would talk about their week, laugh about the funny things they had seen or heard and enjoy their time together. As Y/n was talking about her teacher being scolded by their principal in the middle of her class, Chan was admiring her features.

He saw her eyes becoming smaller and almost transforming themselves into a crescent moon as she laughed, but she wasn’t shining like a moon, she was brighter. She was a literal sunshine and he was enchanted by her warmth.

Chan started to notice more things he liked about her, things that got his heart racing at an unhuman speed for her. The way she tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear as she tried to eat. The way she pouted after he playfully insulted her. The way she her eyes started to twinkle when she got excited for something.

It all, just didn’t make sense, yet it did to him. His feelings were overwhelming him and he tried to push them down as he didn’t wanted to make this awkward.

“Maybe I should change your nickname from Munchkin to Sunshine.” Chan chuckled as Y/n got excited to see the food trucks in the distant. “Why?” She asked curiously. “Just because, you shine so bright.” He tried to explain. “Well, if I’m a sunshine, then you’re a moonlight.” She said with a grin. “And why is that sunshine?” “Just because, you’re so pale-“ “Alright come here!” Chan scoffed whilst laughing in disbelief as he started to chase her, which caused her to run away from his grabby hands as she squealed.

“Smile for me sunshine!” Chan chirped as he pulled out his camera, whilst she enjoyed her ice cream. She looked at him with big eyes as her ice cream covered half of her face, she smiled flustered when she noticed the camera. “Ah, no! What are you doing?” She squealed as she tried to move away from Chan and his phone that was focused on her. “The lightning looks great on you, I just need to capture this.” “If you want to capture this beauty, you better take a picture, yeah that’s right.” She jokes, posing with her ice cream as she stared into the camera. Chan saw her eyes sparkle and he felt his heart race inside of his chest.

The night would go on and the two would continue to take aesthetically pleasing pictures. He would have her do multiple poses as he took her pictures all night. Eventually, he would pull her to his side, as the lights of the city were shown in the back as if they were bright stars in the sky. He had his arm around her waist and his cheeks squished against her, leaving her in a giggling fit.

She turned her body to him, so she was facing the camera. Her arms would be wrapped around his neck, his arm finding its way to her lower back, pulling her even closer to her body as they smiled for the camera. “That’s cute. Send me that.” She chirped as she adored the picture on Chan’s phone.

If they would’ve shown that to a stranger, they would’ve looked like a couple. Chan couldn’t lie and said that he didn’t enjoy the attention he was receiving from Y/n though. He loved the random hugs he got and the banter they had together.

Chan was handed back his phone and now he was the one staring at the picture. He then went to his Instagram and uploaded it, without thinking too much of it. After he would put his phone away and pay all his attention to Y/n. Little did he know, that all his friends were blowing up his phone. Asking for a reason behind the photo.

Felix: bro, are you dating her? Minho: Istg if you are the one falling for her Minho: don’t come to us that we didn’t warn you Jisung: I Don’t LiKe HeR LiKe ThAt

Even Sooyun got on his tail. She called him multiple times, because she wanted this madness to stop, because Chan was ‘hers’ after all.

After their ‘date’ Chan would come home and be immediately bothered again, by Sooyun, who dared to go to his house at eleven o’clock at night. Chan groaned to himself in annoyance. All he wanted was to enjoy his time alone after having such a great time with Y/n.

“Hi Channie!” She sung, clinging onto him briefly before entering his apartment. His phone was still blowing up, his friends trying to reach him through calls, because it would be easier to rant that way.

“What are you doing here Yun?” He sighed. “I thought you would like to hang out.”

‘With you at fucking eleven PM? No thanks.’ He thought to himself.

His mood had dropped from joyful to sulky the longer he was in the same room as Sooyun. She would start to talk away and his mind drifted off to his own train of thoughts, since those seemed more interesting than Sooyun ever would be.

He had to stop himself from laughing as he thought back at the memory of Y/n almost falling into the Han River as they raced along it. She tripped and grabbed onto his arm, almost dragging him into the water with her if he hadn’t found his balance.

They felt like they were high up in the sky as they joked around like little kids who didn’t had a care in the world. He wouldn’t wish for any other feeling to make him happy. His mind suddenly went into stress-mode when he remembered that the ‘date’ was only platonic and that he knew that he was falling for her. A part of him didn’t wanted him to fall for her. He knew there was a kind of pressure performed on him, where he had to keep his status as his first priority. Which meant, dating someone from the same status or higher. Lower was never an option and he had always been reminded of it.

Mister perfect, was one of his many nicknames. He had been called that ever since he was younger. And through the years his perfectionism started to show. He wanted everything to be just right, because he felt like he needed to please everyone and keep everyone happy. And as an older brother as well he was told to be the example and someone they have to look up to.

He was never bothered by carrying this baggage, but he couldn’t say that he wasn’t stressed from time to time.

“Chan! Pay attention to the lady. You can’t do that-“ His mother would argue. Chan would simply ignore her and leave to his room. He locked both doors and dropped himself on his Queen-sized bed. He took out his phone and stared at the pictures and smiled to himself after hours of ‘torture’ being around Sooyun for so long.

Y/n looked beautiful with the sun setting behind her whilst looking at the camera, creating a slight silhouette, but her eyes being clearly visible as they sparkled. It might be one of Chan’s favourite pictures. He passes a picture of the two smiling to the camera, the one where she was wrapped into his arm and clinging onto him. The happiness in her eyes made his heart swell in joy and he felt his mind fill with pink clouds as he stared at her. He decided to connect his phone to his printer and print out the picture on a fancy glossy type of paper he had stolen from his sister’s bedroom the other day.

He remembered that he had some old frames laying around and framed the adorable photograph. He couldn’t help but start to miss her. He had literally seen her earlier that day. They hung out for hours, but he wanted nothing more than to spend time with her all the time. That was the moment he knew he was fucked.

He knew his mother loved Sooyun, so did his father. They wanted Chan to be with a girl like Sooyun, even though they could see that he wasn’t their son’s type. He loved being with Y/n, her attitude of hating his status attracted him to her. She didn’t care, she never did. He loved it, it was just so refreshing to him. His friends also never cared about his status, but that was because they had their own.

Yes, Y/n, did as well technically, but she didn’t identify herself through it.

Chan placed the picture on a shelf next to his bed and looked at it, until he fell into a deep slumber, secretly hoping that he would meet her again in his dreams.

More days would go by and Chan would continue to skip more classes to be with Y/n. She had him wrapped around her finger and she didn’t even notice. He skipped meetings, training sessions and eventually asked her to skip her classes. He even ditched his own friends to be around her.

They didn’t like it, that was for sure. The other day it even caused an argument among the boys. They blamed Y/n for everything, since they of course knew where their friend went whenever her wasn’t around them.

They started to judge him, for going on a different path that he and they were used to. So did the teachers. They weren’t used to Chan being rebellious. And once again they blamed Y/n for it, even though Chan had been the person who, most of the time, caused the both to skip classes. Chan got scolded, a lot.

His teachers, friends and eventually his family as well, when they found out, they were all on his tail. He would roll his eyes to them and wanting to continue his life in peace. Even Sooyun, had the nerve to interfere her little butt into his business. Interrogating him with question like:

‘Why have you been hanging out with her so much?’

‘Why haven’t we hung out lately?’

‘When will our next date be?’

‘You know you shouldn’t hang out with her, right? She is bad news after all. C’mon Chan, out of all of the people you should know best. You’re vice president after all.’

He just wanted to be alone. He was a boy in love and he wanted to be with Y/n as much as he could. And if that meant, skipping classes, then he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Today was one of those days.

Y/n was sat outside, putting her phone away as she finished her call with Changbin for her daily check up with him. Chan would appear behind her and peak his head closely next to her as he stood behind her. “Hi.” He simply said, receiving a squeal from her as she jumped in surprise. “How many times have I told you to not do that. I will punch you if you don’t look out Moonlight.” “Beats me Sunshine, you wouldn’t hit me. You like me too much.” He said with a confident smile plastered on his face.

The words thrilled Y/n. Her vision on Chan had completely changed the past few weeks that they had spent together. They were a bliss and she couldn’t be happier that he had entered her life, especially since Changbin had left for so long and she wasn’t sure if she would be able to survive that long without someone by her side.

Her contact with her dad was also limited to the minimum, since she spend too much time with Chan. She was happy and grateful that he had so much time for her, even though he didn’t know about her gratefulness.

“Alright Water Rat, what do you want from me?” She asked, turning around to face him. “I have something in mind for us today.” He said with a little dance. “Are you sure? We’ve skipped quite a lot-“ “I know, I know, but this thing is only during school time, and I just happen to know that you will absolutely love it.” He had his hand already on her wrist, still doing his dumb dance as he waited for her confirmation to go. “Fine, show me the way water boy-“ “Excuse me, my name is moonlight- I mean Chan!” He stuttered, making her laugh. “Whatever floats your boat.” She giggled before she dragged Chan to his car.

“Is it necessary for me to be blindfolded?” Y/n whined as she impatiently sat in the passenger seat whilst Chan continued to drive away. “Alright, you can take your blindfold off.” Chan said excited. She took the cloth off her face and looked around confused as she saw that they had stopped at a train station.

“What are we doing here- Are you dumping me and sending me away-“ “No! No! Gosh, no. I have something special, but we need to travel for a while.” Chan chuckled as he dug into his pocket. He revealed two tickets and handed them to Y/n. “We’re going to Daegu? Why?” She asked, still confused.

Chan once again dug into his pants and revealed yet again another two tickets. He started to laugh loudly when the girl next to him gasped loudly and grabbed his arm as she shook him back and forth in excitement.

“You’re taking me to a Cherry blossom festival?” She exclaimed. “Yes, now, grab the clothes from the back and put them on, our train will leave soon.” Chan said with a wink, making her squeal in excitement as she jumped out of the car.

Chan brought her a big brown shirt and brought a blue one for himself, making the two match. She laughed as she looked at the two of them through the reflection of the mirror that were hung in the train station’s bathroom. They really looked like a couple, but she would be lying if she said that she didn’t like it.

She tucked the oversized shirt into the skirt, she was still wearing and checked her hair before she ran to Chan who was waiting for her, he had a big bomber jacket on and had one for Y/n slung over his arm. “Ready?” He asked her. She nodded in excitement before they ran to their train, that was going to leave in ten minutes, but was on the other side of the fricking station.

“I’m so out of shape.” Y/n panted as they finally sat in their seat of the moving train they just managed to catch. “I’m fine.” Chan joked, as he tried to control his breath as well as they plopped down. “Maybe we shouldn’t have bought snacks. We wouldn’t be out of breath right now.” “We’re only suffering for the next five minutes, you will love the snacks once an hour on the rails is gone.” Chan laughed.

He even prepared some films on his phone, sharing a pair of Airpods as the train moved its way to their destination. He used his oversized jacket as a blanket, whilst she used hers as a pillow for them to share as well. They looked awfully cosy and the people who were glancing were jealous as fuck. She felt herself getting a little weary and she was awkwardly trying to support her head on her fist as they kept on watching the movie. Chan had noticed and moved her head smoothly onto his shoulder to lean on. She looked up to him after his action and tried her hardest not to blush.

Time passed and the two had both passed out in their seat. Chan’s head was rested on top of hers as her tried to find warmth under the blanket-like jacket. The booming voice that filled the coupe, waking the both of them. Chan grabbed their stuff before they exited the train.

Chan went to hire a car for the rest of the day, since they had to travel for a while. Y/n was waiting whilst yawning as she looked like a lost puppy in the middle of the station. “Rise and shine sunshine, we still have a half of a day ahead of us.” Chan laughed as he led her to their assigned car.

After another twenty-minute ride, they finally arrived at the festival. There were lights hung up in the trees, which were in a nice shade of light pink. Y/n gasped as she shook Chan’s arm in excitement. She was already in awe at the couple of trees she saw at the entrance and it shot Chan into a laughing fit.

“We still have a ticket to go inside-“ “Let’s go! Let’s go! Let’s go!” She squealed before she dragged Chan behind her as they ran towards the check in point.

Seconds after their tickets were checked, Y/n was speechless for the hundreds of beautiful pink trees that were in front of her. Even though it was very crowded and they blocked her vision slightly, she couldn’t come up with the words to speak her gratitude to Chan.

Flashback

“What’s a place you would love to go to?” Chan asks as he took another bite of his sandwich, expecting a name of a country to be slipped from Y/n’s lips. “I would love to go to a cherry blossom festival.” She admitted as she adjusted her blue leather jacket. “Really? Why?” “I can remember my mother telling me about it, we never went though. Her and I shared a love for those trees, the cherry blossom represents the fragility and the beauty of life. It's a reminder that life is almost overwhelmingly beautiful but that it is also tragically short. I think that’s why I love it so much. Since my mother passed a years ago, earlier than we would’ve wanted her to.”

End of flashback

Chan saw Y/n eyes tear up a little as she stared up to the trees. His heart ached, but he was glad that he got to do this for her. They meant too much to her and it was honestly a win-win situation for him. He got to take her to a place she had always wished to go to and he got to spend his time with her once again.

Chan chuckled slightly as she brought her into his arms and soothingly rubbed her back. “Thank you.” She sobbed softly as she hugged him tight, her hands gripping his jacket as she did so. The gesture played with his feelings and he felt his heart break at her vulnerable state.

“Let’s go, shall we?” He said with a wink after she had calmed down.

They walked around with her arm locked with his. They ate ordinary foods like cherry blossom flavoured cake, beverages, ice cream and a delicious coffee with blossom art on it. The day was great and the two had the time of their life, taking pictures and eating together. But then, it was time for the ride back. She was absolutely exhausted and before she knew it, she had made her way to dreamland as she halfway laid on Chan’s chest. Chan had his arm protectively draped around her as he rested himself.

After Chan had dropped Y/n off at her neighbourhood. He entered his bedroom, feeling exhausted but still high on adrenaline. He smiled like an idiot as he let himself fall onto his bed. He looked to his side and saw the picture they had taken on one of their ‘dates’, he felt his heart jump and a tickling sensation inside of his tummy as he did. Whilst hiding his face into his hands shyly he felt embarrassed for acting and feeling like a little kid who fell in love for the very first time.

Chan took out his phone and set off the airplane mode, his phone instantly blew up with notifications of missed calls, unread text messages and many facetime calls from his friends, who were wondering where the hell their friend went to. Yes, it was kind of mean for Chan to leave them worried, but he didn’t wanted to be bothered by them, when he could be enjoying Y/n’s flustered smile after she took a sip from her coffee, leaving a creamy milk moustache above her lip.

Chan: Guys, don’t worry I’m fine. Jisung: HOLY FUCKING SHIT MATE Jisung: I THOUGHT YOU DIED Minho: We were this close on reporting you missing Felix: Where have you been? Felix: Why didn’t you call us back? Felix: WE WERE SO WORRIED Chan: calm down guys Chan: I was just out for a while Chan: did you tell my parents tho? Minho: Of course not Minho: We don’t snitch Jisung: The teachers might, but we certainly don’t. Chan: Aight, so I got to mentally prepare myself for that one Felix: Mhhhmm Chan: *sigh* Chan: thanks tho for not snitching me out guys Felix: no problem Jisung: We won’t do it again if you keep us on read ever again Jisung: not cool man Chan: Sorry <3

Chan sighed to himself in relief, his heart was racing and it wasn’t because of the happy moment he had experienced just a few minutes ago. He wanted the feeling back so he went to his gallery and looked at the pictures he took that day.

Most of them were of Y/n or pictures together that he had taken. She looked so beautiful he mentally praised his heart for being able to take it. He picked out his favourite picture of the together, which is where they walked off together into the beauty of the cherry blossom trees, as a stranger successfully took a beautiful picture of the pair. Chan printed it out and framed it once again, setting it next to his other picture of him and Y/n together.

He kept on looking in his gallery and without a thought, he had posted two of the beautiful pictures. The young boy was high on the pink fog that had clouded his mind. He felt like a man who wanted to show of his significant other, even though she wasn’t his at all. He didn’t know what title their relationship carried. But he was sure that he wanted more.

Chan threw his phone under his pillow and rested his arms under his head as he stared up the ceiling. He was still on a hype and he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep within the next upcoming hours. What he didn’t know was, that as he stared up into nothing, his phone was blown up once again. By the boys bombing him with questions once again, Sooyun almost demanding Chan for an explanation why he left her hanging all day and waiting for a call back.

But Chan didn’t wanted to know. He was too busy replaying that amazing day over and over again in his mind.

“Are you sure you want me to come with you? You look so tired, are you sure you’ve slept at all last night?” Y/n asked as they walked out of the school building. “Of course I do, and yes I did.” Chan pouted as they made their way to his car. “Really? Because you looked pretty worn out at your training. Felix beat you easily, you never let that happen.” “I only swam slow, so you could enjoy these guns for a little longer- Ouch!” Chan began with a smirk, but ended up pouting once again after receiving a playful punch from Y/n, who was done with his shit. “Just get into the car dang it.” She laughed whilst shaking her head.

At Chan’s place, Y/n would be happily greeted by Chan’s siblings, who were busy making their homework. And a thrilled Berry, who immediately ran up to Y/n, completely ignoring his actual owner, Chan.

“I feel, replaced.” Chan acted hurt, making the others laugh. “We’ll be upstairs if you need us.” Chan stated to his siblings before running up to his bedroom.

“Wow, you surely didn’t expect guests today, did you?” Y/n teased when she entered his mess of a room. “Hush, and no I didn’t.” He admitted in embarrassment as he rubbed the back of his neck. “You’re such a slob, which I honestly didn’t expect from you. Like, look at all those papers on your desk. You have a whole ass bookshelf, make use of it moonlight.” She laughed as she made her way, getting the chills from the mess, wanting to tidy it up a little.

When she stood in front of the desk, her eyes fell on something. “CB97?” She voiced out, causing Chan’s heart to drop. “W-what?” He stuttered as he made his way to her. “This is tagged with ‘CB97’- oh! Do you know him as well? My best friend works with someone named CB97.”

The words spun in Chan’s mind. Because it surely couldn’t be Jisung she was talking about. It must be Changbin, the chance was big that it was him, because yes, he worked with other people outside of 3Racha, but not a lot. He looked at her blankly, still trying to process everything what was happening.

‘Is she who Changbin tends to talk about- No, it can’t be. Right?’ Chan asked himself in his mind as he looked at Y/n, who was inspecting the paper curiously.

“Y-yeah, I think he accidently left it here. I’ll put it away for him.” Chan lied as he hurriedly hid the papers out of their sight. “Is he nice? Or she? I don’t know the person’s pronounces.” Y/n chuckled as she laid on Chan’s bed. “He’s quite nice, I guess?” Chan said unsure what to say.

Chan’s mind was all over the place. The three had agreed on keeping their stage name to themselves and for those who they meet when producing, they only would know their stage name. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know if Changbin had told Y/n that he was CB97, or if Changbin had told her anything at all about their performing life as 3Racha.

His thoughts would be interrupted by the door opening, revealing his father standing in the doorway. “Hi, Y/n.” “Hello mister Bang, how are you?” Y/n asks politely. “I’m doing well, but I have to speak to my son. So I think you should leave. It will take a while.” He said stiffly, causing Chan to look at him in confusion and then back to Y/n, who was also confused. “Uhm, sure. I’ll go get my stuff and I’ll see you tomorrow?” She mutters to Chan, feeling slightly embarrassed. Not giving Chan a chance to respond, she had already left his room.

His father waited for the front door to open and close shut, notifying him that Y/n had left the apartment.

“What the hell?” Chan exclaims, feeling annoyed and still confused as he followed his dad. “What was that for-“ “You have been skipping school, meetings and your training sessions. What the hell are you thinking?” His dad yelled as he looked at his son in anger. Chan’s mother also walked into the living room and added a rant on how disappointed they were.

“Where were you all day yesterday? Don’t you dare to think that we didn’t notice you sneaking back in.” She cried out in frustration. “I was out.” “Yes, we’ve noticed that. You better tell us where the hell you’ve been and why you’re skipping classes, because your mother and I don’t know you anymore!” His dad continued to yell. Chan avoided his eyes as he continued to kept silent.

“It’s because of that girl, right? Ever since you’ve been hanging out with her, you’ve been acting all rebellious and irresponsible.” “No dad-“ “She’s probably the one who made you do all of this? I knew that girl was up to no good. How dare she to keep our off the right path. Who the hell does she think she is. And she even dares to come into our home. Chan, I do not want to see that girl in this house ever again. I don’t want to see you around her. I will even call the teachers to keep you from her. She’s clearly a bad influence on you.” His mother ranted. “Mom, dad. It’s really not her who made me skip. I’m the one who wanted to-“ “Is that what she told you to tell us. The little snake. I forbid you from now on, to never talk or be around that hopeless girl, am I clear?” His mother loathed.

Chan was about to lose his temper and walked away from the conversation. He put on his shoes within seconds and left the building, needing some fresh air to lose the rage that was rushing through his body.

He had his Airpods placed in his ears, blasting 5 seconds of summer’s most ‘emo’ songs on maximum as he strolled around the city. He looked up and saw that he was walking towards Changbin’s flat complex, he at first didn’t think too much of it and continued to walk. But when he saw a familiar figure making her way into the building, he couldn’t help but stop his tracks and watched Y/n walking into the building.

She was all smiles and she seemed to be greeting people who she came across as she made her way towards the lifts. Chan felt confused and started to overthink.

He had a suspicion of her knowing Changbin, but them living in the same building must be a coincidence, right? Chan then remembered Y/n telling him, weeks ago, that her family never had a lot of money. He started to think more and more about it as she had also told him that they owned a beach house in Busan. He felt like she had lied straight to his face, he could feel his heart drop into a pit. He remembered Changbin, who had been gone for weeks to Japan. They might know each other, the chance was so small yet so big that they knew each other.

Chan then came to an idea, and walked a little further to where the windows were of Changbin’s apartment. As it was getting darker, the lights of the apartments in the building were starting to bright up the city. When Chan saw the apartment lights turn on, he sighed in defeat. There was no way, someone from Changbin’s family would be the ones in the apartment, they were all in Japan.

“It can’t be Changbin, he’s in Japan.” He muttered to himself. When the realisation hit him, he felt his chest tighten. “Changbin is in Japan.”

‘Was she the one in his apartment? Are they really that close- what if they lived together?’ Chan had so many questions, yet there was no one who could answer them for him.

Finally the day had arrived of Changbin’s, and his family’s, return from Japan. Y/n had been rushing around the house all day to make sure that everything was spotless. She made sure that the cabins were filled, that she had food cooked and ready to be eaten. She was also excited to see his sister, who she hasn’t seen in ages. She was a little like a sister to Y/n, as an only child, most people who became close and important to her had a certain family-related title to her.

Y/n was busy setting the table as she got a message from Changbin that they were close to the building. He refused to let her come and pick them up at the airport. It would be expensive and busy to drive all the way there with a cab, especially when they rip you off by taking a longer route to your destination and asking that way more money from people. And besides that, Changbin knew that Y/n had been living short for a whole month now and knew she needed every single penny she still had.

Whilst reading Changbin’s message she rushed out of the apartment and made her way downstairs. When she stepped out of the door, she saw his figure in the distant and started to run to him, like they would do in romantic movies.

He laughed when he saw her and immediately dropped his things as he picked her up and twirled her around in the air while they hugged each other tightly. “I missed you so much.” She murmured as she hid her face into the crook of her neck. “How I missed you too Dumpling.” He chuckled as he brought her closer to his chest, as if that was possible. “Well hello to you too Y/n.” His mother laughed. Y/n pulled away from Changbin and smiled brightly as she went to hug the rest of his family. “My oh my, Y/n. You’ve gotten only prettier since the last time I saw you.” His sister said in awe, making Y/n blush slightly. “You look great as well.” She responded before giving her a hug as well. “Shall we go up? I’ve brought you some things from Japan-“ “Let’s go!” Y/n chirped as she grabbed Changbin by the hand as she dragged him into the building.

In the meantime, they didn’t know or notice that Chan was also waiting near the building for Changbin to come back home. He wanted to surprise him with food that he had made with Jisung, who was busy at work. Chan was in shock to see Y/n running out of the building and making her way straight to Changbin. He didn’t expect her to be there. And he certainly didn’t expect her to be that close with Changbin and his family. The affection they shared made him feel jealous, Changbin got to see a cute and sweet side of Y/n that Chan still hadn’t fully witnessed.

Chan felt hurt. His heart ached and he didn’t know what to do. He was sure of the fact that he wouldn’t be meeting up with Changbin right now. His heart couldn’t take that. So instead he did something the never thought he would voluntarily do.

Chan: Hey, I have some extra food. Want to hang out? Sooyun: Channie! Sooyun: Sure! I’ll be right there.

From that moment, Chan started to avoid Y/n as if his life depended on it. He had been hanging out with Sooyun a lot for the past days and people felt like the old ‘Bang Chan’ was back. His parents were very pleased that their son was ‘back’ and that he finally showed interest in the girl they wanted him to be with.

Sooyun also couldn’t be happier. She finally felt like she got the attention from Chan that she deserved. She felt like she was the one for Chan, his parents thought the same thing, so why in the heck would he deny it?

The two would be hanging out at her place, both sitting on her bed with her head rested on his chest as Netflix played a movie. “Channie?” Sooyun whined, receiving a hum from Chan in responds. “What about that tramp?” She asked with innocent eyes. “What about her?” “Nothing too much, just asking if she’s still in the picture.” She states as she moved closer to him. “She’s nothing to worry about.” Chan assured, knowing fully well that it was Y/n who Sooyun was talking about. The mention of her did crazy things to his heart. It was beating like crazy again at the thought of her and the butterflies in his stomach didn’t seem like they were planning on calming down.

He has been trying to act as if Y/n has ever existed and it was amusing to Sooyun. It made her feel like everything was worth the wait. She tried to get into Chan’s head by assuring him that Y/n had only been using her for his money and to get things out of him. She made him perform badly at school and at his sport clubs. Chan couldn’t help, but belief the words she planted into his mind. They just seemed so logical and the only thing that seemed right at the moment.

As Chan was avoiding Y/n like his life depended on it, she was left confused and worried that she hadn’t seen him in almost a week by now. He hadn’t showed up to their tutoring sessions. She convinced himself that he was probably too busy with sport and school, so she let it slide. She tried her hardest to understand the subjects by herself that Chan used to be so great at explaining everything to her.

Y/n eventually started to get angry and frustrated. She tried calling him and texting him, but she didn’t wanted to seem clingy or annoying. So, she didn’t do that very often. But today she had enough and decided to just go to his place. She called him as she made her way to his place, to her surprise he picked up the phone. He told her that he was home alone and she stated that she was on her way to his place.

When she arrived at the door, Chan was surprised to see her. He hadn’t seen her in a while and his heart was beating loudly for her. As soon as she saw her the butterflies in his stomach seemed to found life again and started to tickle the insides of his tummy like crazy. He had such a big soft spot for her and he knew that it would take a long time for him to get over her. Chan would act like his soft-self again and invite her inside, in the hope that his parents wouldn’t come home early from their business dinner.

“You wanted to talk about something?” Chan awkwardly states. “Why haven’t you come to our tutoring sessions?” She asked, wanting to avoid the ‘silent treatment’ situation for now. “I-I’m sorry, I forgot.” He lied. “Everyday?” She asked, knowing he was spitting bullshit. “I was very busy with meetings and training again, sorry.” He muttered, trying to avoid her sparkling eyes.

Y/n was naïve for believing him and he instantly felt guilty. She asked how his training went in glee, wanting to catch up with him for a little while, she hadn’t seen him for a whole week after all. The conversation between the two would continue and the two would eventually move it to the couch, where they hung out for a while. Y/n noticed the guitar laying next to her and decided to grab it when Chan went upstairs to get something.

Chan’s ear caught up to the melodies that Y/n played and he was rather surprised to hear the guitar playing. “Do you play the guitar as well?” He asked her as he sat back down next to her. “Yeah, not very well though. My dad doesn’t like music around the house.” She admitted, before telling him the story of when her mother had passed, her father had banned music from their home, because it reminded him of her mother.

Chan felt sorry for her and asks if that’s the reason why she’s in misses Yu’s classes after school time, which she nodded ‘yes’ to in responds.

The two would talk some more about music, but the subject of Changbin and her couldn’t seem to leave his mind in peace. He was restless, he just needed to know. “Do you perhaps go to the Empire Deck complex?” Chan asks, meaning if she was ever around the building Changbin lived in. The question took Y/n by surprise and she looked at Chan I confusion.

“Why do you ask? Have you been following me?” She asked, feeling a little uncomfortable. “N-no, but I was just wondering.” “How come, that’s a pretty specific question to ask.” She states, wanting to know what Chan had on his mind. “Are you hiding something from me?” Y/n asked, setting the guitar away to face Chan properly. “Are you?” He shot back, bamboozling Y/n again. “What is that supposed to mean?” “I don’t know, what do you think” He snarled back. “What’s going on with you? You’ve been acting so weird the past week. I was going to let it rest, but this is getting too.” She cried out in frustration.

“Just tell me if you’re a lot at the Empire Deck or not.” Chan’s voice boomed through the apartment and it made Y/n even more angry. “Why do you care?” She snaps back. Chan stood up alongside with her and started to yell at her that she’s been lying to his face all this time. “…probably to get closer to me, right? To get money from me and profited off me, right?” He hissed in fury. “What are you even talking about?” She asks him in confusion. “You lied to me about not having money, to get sympathy from me. Yet you live in such a luxurious apartment.” “You’re not even making sense Chan, what are you talking about for fuck’s sake?”

Her denial made him even madder and Y/n started to tear up, because she was overwhelmed with her feelings. She felt her anxiety almost overflowing her mind and her body was close to a panic attack. Chan didn’t know and he didn’t understand her living situation. She wanted to tell him, but she couldn’t tell him. Her anxiety telling her that he would end up hurting her anyway, just like the others did in the past.

The toxic voice began to rule her mind and she couldn’t think clearly.

Chan was still ranting in anger and eventually threw his hands up in the air in frustration, they flew to his hair as he ruffled through it, but Y/n first reaction to the action was her flying to the ground and turning into a ball.

Her movement shocked Chan and he felt bad. He tried to comfort her, but she would sob and beg him to not touch her, to not hit her, before she got up and ran out of the apartment without saying another word.

The vision of her crying in a broken state was imprinted into his brain and now he was left alone with guilt. His head spinning as well from getting so fired up and causing the girl, who he liked so much, to be upset. Yet once again and because of him.

Chan threw the pillows of the couch around the apartment in frustration, causing things to clatter to the ground in process.

‘Why do you always fuck things up. Can’t you just do something like a normal human being?’ He asks himself.

He was yet again clueless on what to do, but he knew he had to make it up with her. No matter what his parents said. No matter what his friends said or the teachers. He just had to. Because he had to fuck up something that gave him his happiest moments and memories.

Gif isn’t mine.

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cxhnow · 5 years ago

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Growing Up With Chloe x Halle

The Bailey sisters on why they didn’t switch up overnight — the world just caught up to their speed.

On their 2018 debut album The Kids Are Alright and on Freeform’s Grown-ish, a 19- and 17-year-old Chloe and Halle Bailey sang “Watch out world, I’m grown now.” So you’ll have to forgive them for acting out a little on their new sophomore record — they warned us. While Ungodly Hour might sound like a pivot to the grown ‘n’ sexy side of R&B similar to plenty of their peers, trading TKAA’s colorful doodles for chrome angel wings and skin-tight latex, they’re really just living the same truths they preached up and down TKAA: Own your insecurities, work hard, don’t get distracted by drama. “When we created this album, we said, Okay, we want to show all the different sides and layers of us,” Chloe tells me, sitting side by side with her sister, over Zoom from their family home in Los Angeles. “We don’t just want to show this one side. A lot of people still think we’re teenagers.”

Now 22 and 20, the former child stars are ready to explore the topics they’ve been singing about since they were kids making covers on YouTube, the ones that landed them a record deal with music royalty before they were old enough to vote. The new album calls out former flings, seethes with jealousy, and apologizes when necessary. Lyrics like “It’s four o’clock / you sendin’ me too many pictures of your …” and “No drama, no baby mamas” immediately started dating rumors online, roping in their Grown-ish co-star Diggy Simmons. While most fans are having fun with it, those a little, um, outside of the Baileys’ age demographic are still struggling (try to get through this Breakfast Club questioning without cringing). In case you missed it: They no longer have to change Beyoncé lyrics from “You showed your ass” to “You showed your butt” — on “Do It,” they proudly sing “I’m a bad girl, shake a li’l ass.” Alongside all the perks of growing up, the album makes sure to normalize the struggles, too.

When the coronavirus pandemic sent Halle home to L.A. from The Little Mermaid rehearsals in London, their house (complete with mom, dad, and younger brother, Branson) became their album rollout headquarters. One of the few albums to not be pushed due to the coronavirus, Ungodly Hour was originally planned for June 5, but the deaths of George Floyd in Minnesota, Breonna Taylor in Kentucky, and far too many others across the country, created a moment that Chloe and Halle felt they couldn’t ignore. They pushed the album one week, to June 12, and continued to use their platform to share petitions, funds, and awareness, while also personally signing petitions and making donations. As both an escape and work, they’ve been focusing their energy on the album, diving into elaborate DIY remote performances and mashing up songs, but making sure to leave Sundays for rest. After a busy weekend tearing up the BET Awards and Global Citizen virtual stages, channeling Aaliyah in one performance and going full rock and roll in the other, they’ll be back on Instagram Live this Thursday for Ungodly Hour Tea Time, where they often chill out in Snuggies, try to remember what day of quarantine it is, and update their supporters on their lives.

How has it been, emotionally, to have to sing and dance while all of this turmoil is happening? Halle Bailey: Emotionally, what’s keeping us afloat is music and feeling better through the art. I think that’s why we love music so much because even though we create it and we sing it, we use it as our healer, too. Everything going on really makes you reflect. But we’re young black women, this hasn’t been anything new to us. Our community has known about this for a very long time, and it’s constantly upsetting. But what I’m appreciating about technology and social media is that our voices can’t be silenced anymore. And the things that they used to try to hide, they can’t any longer. We’re seeing these injustices happen over video, and [so is] the rest of the world who’s usually ignorant to the racism that’s been underlying in this community. They’re seeing it and they’re upset as well. So it’s good because change can only happen when we’re all working towards a common goal. I can’t wait to see what comes out of this.

I feel like every time we have one of these moments where everyone is just mourning so publicly in such a communal way, there’s also music that uplifts us. Talk me through deciding to postpone the album.

HB: During the height of the George Floyd protests, emotionally, we just were not right to release a project. Our little brother and our father — when we see a video of George Floyd getting killed in the street, we think that could be them tomorrow. And we wanted to shine the light on what needs to be seen. That George Floyd video, Breonna Taylor, all of the other brothers and sisters that we have lost to police brutality — that is what needed to be at the forefront and what still needs to be at the forefront.

And when The Kids Are Alright came out that was right around March for Our Lives, the Women’s March was happening. How does this moment compare for you?

Chloe Bailey: Wow, now that I’m thinking about it, this time, it feels a bit more like change is really going to happen. Around The Kids Are Alright, we went to the March for Our Lives and we were around that incredible energy; it was really positive and uplifting because we were all banding together. But for some reason, this time right now … I feel like we have the entire world’s attention. Actual change is going to come out of what’s been happening. So, it feels the same but different, right?

HB: Yeah, I definitely think this one feels more massive. Feels like, Okay, maybe we’re getting somewhere this time. Maybe it won’t just go away a week after all of this is over, you know?

In the early stages of Ungodly Hour, did you go in wanting it to be something that showcased your maturity? Or did that come out as you were going with it?

HB: We absolutely knew that we wanted it to showcase our growth, the evolution of us into young women. Because I feel like The Kids Are Alright was very much us finding ourselves and that project took three years to make. So with that length, you can kind of go through and see like, Oh, wow, they must have been really shifting through and figuring out what’s wrong and what’s right. So, for this project, it was like, Yes, we are here. We are now grown women. I’m 20. My sister’s about to be 22 this week.

CB: Hey!

HB: So we took that and we were just like, Let’s show who we’ve become. And let’s show the side of us that people don’t see whether it’s the naughtier side of us or the insecure side of us, or the part that picks every single thing apart about ourselves out. We wanted to show all the layers of us as young women, once you kind of know who you are, but also you’re still learning.

You’ll never be a finished product.

CB: Never, constantly evolving. And that’s the goal.

There have always been glimpses at your boss-bitch attitudes, hints of it in your music and on Grown-ish. Do you ever get the sense that you’re waiting for the industry and fans to sort of open their eyes and catch up to where you’re at?

CB: I’m not gonna lie, there are some moments. And I remember when we were even creating this album we were putting a certain pressure on ourselves. Because we were thinking, What do we want the world to hear from us? What do we think the world wants us to sound like? What would make people become more receptive to us? I remember we were creating for, like, one to two months in that mind-set, and we were creating some of the worst music we ever have.

HB: Yeah, it was. It was trash.

CB: It was because we weren’t creating from our hearts. We weren’t being honest with ourselves, and as a musician, you gotta be vulnerable and share that true part of yourself or the music isn’t going to be very good. Once we threw that out the window and said, You know what, let’s create a good body of art, the album continued to write itself. But that main lesson for us was never change yourself; the world will catch up to you when it’s ready. I feel like they’re kinda ready now for this project. It’s older and more mature than The Kids Are Alright because we’re older and more mature than who we were when we created that.

In making a more vulnerable album, were you nervous about expanding your image in that way? Was there anything that you debated not including or things that didn’t make the cut?

HB: Wow, so, I will say that our parents kind of had a hard time … well, not a hard time, but just like opening their eyes to the fact that, Okay, these are the topics that we’ve decided to talk about. This is what’s happening. It was really fun for us to watch them. I completely understand how they feel because, you know, we’ve been just little babies to them and now we’re growing and they’re hearing [about] certain things that we’ve been through, or that we just wrote in the music. They have been like, “Oh, okay, so that’s that.”

Fans tweet collabs at you all the time, but what’s your actual approach to choosing who you work with? (Ungodly Hour features just two major collaborations: Swae Lee on “Catch Up” and the title track with Disclosure.)

CB: Definitely we have to be fans of them, number one. Even though we make music, we are such big music fans and music lovers. Two, we have to feel like the person can sonically fit the song. We don’t want to throw just anyone on a song just because they have a big name, which is really cool too. It’s really great to get big features. But it’s so funny because we have a big wish list of who we hear on which songs and some people bite, some people don’t. It’s always fun to see what the end result will be. And I know we’ll start putting out remixes and stuff soon, which will be fun.

HB: It’s very interesting because it’s hard during the creative process. You kind of have to open yourself up to somebody you do not know when you make music; it’s a part of your heart that you’re sharing. So, it’s a very intimate thing to do with a stranger. Which is why with my sister it’s really easy. But when it comes to us working with new people, we gravitate towards the ones who have very open spirits and souls, nice people.

Chloe, would you ever produce for other artists?

CB: Absolutely, 1,000 percent. That would be so much fun. I would be getting out of my comfort zone, because the only person who I can comfortably produce in front of is my sister and blast it loud over the speakers. Whenever we have other sessions with other producers and we’re collaborating, I’ll put my headphones in, I won’t blast it on the aux with theirs. I have my little computer on my lap because I like using weird sounds and samples and chopping them up in a weird way. Sometimes it’s trial and error, so I don’t want people to hear my mistakes.

HB: She’s amazing and she should just blast it everywhere she goes, okay?

CB: I would definitely love, love, love to do that.

Yes, we want to hear you everywhere! So, when shelter in place started, you guys very flawlessly transitioned to doing these home covers and incredible remote performances. What’s the process of coming up with these concepts, especially the more elaborate ones?

HB: Oh my gosh, it’s really just a bunch of play. When we’re coming up with concepts, our creative director Andrew Makadsi is really amazing at seeing our vision for the songs before we actually perform them live. It’s been really interesting and exciting to have new songs to play with. But as far as the covers, you know, those are easy. We can do those in our sleep; we just love singing other people’s songs.

How long does it take to pull together a remote performance like the Today show one for example?

CB: Our amazing creative director came up with that and it took him a day. He just kept sending us a bunch of references and photo ideas he thought of and we picked the backdrop we wanted. The song arrangement, because we always like to switch it up every time, takes —

HB: Like a day.

CB: It takes us like ten minutes to arrange the songs. But then we took some of the choreography [by Kendra Bracy and Ashanti Ledon] that we learned during the music video shoot, and we added new choreography ourselves for the Today show performance. We were like on the floor and stuff — we did that the night before we filmed it. That took us like 30 minutes because we wanted to make sure the moves weren’t awkward because we’re not choreographers, so we would prop up our iPhone and that would be our little dance-studio mirror.

You guys are really doing it by yourselves in quarantine. So, what’s the tennis court situation? Has that always been there?

HB: Yeah, it has actually, we just haven’t really used it. I mean, we’ve been where we live for about two years now. We never really thought to use it until quarantine happened ‘cause we always go somewhere else to shoot performances. That’s been a beautiful evolution — using what we have. We feel so blessed to just be able to do what we love and also do it somewhere nice.

The tennis court performances have been life-giving.

CB: It’s been so useful, from the at-home photo shoots we have to do and then the performances, like I’m so grateful. We don’t actually know how to play tennis, but there are basketball hoops on each side so our little brother Branson’s usually out there. So, when we do have to do these things, I feel bad because he’s always out there shooting hoops, but he’s like, “Okay, you can have it for two hours …” [x]

#vulture #june 28 2020 #june 2020 #2020 #interviews #articles #ungodly hour #ungodly hour interviews #ungodly hour articles #chloe bailey #halle bailey #chloe x halle #chloexhalle #chloeandhalle #chloe and halle

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h3adcarsbending · 6 years ago

Text

pity party • matty healy x reader

Pity Party - M.H.

wc- 2856 or smth like that

The reader, in the midst of a particularly bad day, is dragged along to a party by her boyfriend Matty. But she really doesn’t want to be a burden or ruin his night.

It was a stressful day for poor Y/N, and being dragged along to a party by her boyfriend didn’t help much either. Not like she’d ever let Matty know what was up - she hated burdening him with her problems. She didn’t want to scare him off, now did she? Her curly haired rockstar was the best thing that had ever happened to her. If she lost Matty, who knows what she’d do.

But, anything for him. She would go to the party, pretend to have a good time, and hope for the best, because let’s be honest for a moment… not much could go wrong. Or could it? Oh, shut up with the cliches, will you!

“Love, are you almost ready?” called the boyfriend in question from the living room of their shared Manchester flat.

Y/N sighed apologetically, attempting to quickly gain at least some composure before having to face Matty. “Y-yeah. Just one second, babe…”

With that, she took a final glance in the mirror and confirmed she looked alright. She didn’t feel too hot today. But there wasn’t much she could do to tend to her overwhelming insecurities at this very moment. Turning the knob with shaky, but freshly manicured hands, she exited the bathroom - her favourite place to cry - and greeted the beautiful, curly haired man in front of her, a fake smile a stark contrast to his genuine one. She felt somewhat guilty, but she’d feel guiltier if she let him know what was wrong. Letting him have a lovely time at George’s carouse was all she wanted. She knew firsthand how hard Matty and the boys worked, and how little rest they got… frankly, it amazed her. How he could do everything he did seldom any breaks was perplexing to the Y/H/C girl.

Matty looked at her up and down, practically tearing off her beautiful sequined black dress with his gorgeous chocolate (ha) brown eyes alone. He snaked a pale, inked arm around her waist, planting a soft, heartfelt kiss on her cheek. “You look breathtaking, love!” he exclaimed, a look of pure and utter adoration on his lovely face. Oh, how lucky she was. She didn’t think she deserved him - but then again, he didn’t think he deserved her, either. Again with the guilt.

She averted her gaze to the floor at an alarming speed, biting back a flood of tears in an attempt to do two things; save both her dignity and the glittery smokey eye she’d spent an unreasonable amount of time on. “Thank you. You look quite fit yourself, Matty,” she squeaked, trying to hide the burning of oncoming tears at the back of her throat that often resulted in a rather telling voice crack which made her sound like a twelve year old boy. She did not succeed. “Sorry. Eyeshadow in my eye. That stuff hurts,” she chuckled, giving her all to play it off. She felt terrible lying to him but it was all she could do right then and there, hm?

Matty looked concerned. He suspected she was upset - but for both her and the night’s sake decided not to make a big deal of it, raising his thick eyebrows worriedly. “I’d imagine it does, love,” he replied, squeezing her hand affectionately. “You sure you’re alright? We can tell George we can’t come--”

“No! No, no, no, don’t do that!” she pleaded, cutting him off. “I’m okay. It’s fine, babe, it’s nothing. Promise!”

“Alright,” he sighed, pulling her in for a hug. Y/N melted into the embrace, her head lying on his comfortable (albeit bony) chest. Listening to his heartbeat was quite therapeutic for her, and he knew that. “Let’s go.”

She nodded, and off they went.

To say the car ride was tense was a bit of an understatement. Y/N chewed at her glossy, made up lips, and Matty’s elegant free hand diverged from its usual spot at his girlfriend’s thigh and instead rested on the wheel of the car, bouncing up and down in coordination with his thigh. She didn’t dare gaze anywhere but outside the window, meanwhile he routinely checked up on her. For what reason, he wasn’t sure. It vaguely reminded them of the aftermath of their arguments -- but even then there was less… silence. It was deafening. Matty quickly turned on the radio (conveniently playing some sad, mainstream pop tune by the latest one-hit wonder) to elevate the mood and diminish the awkwardness. He wanted to talk, he just wasn’t sure how to go about doing so.

For the first time, Y/N looked away from the window and instead at her thighs. And her stomach. She cringed inwardly upon the sight, regretting giving in to the hearty lunch Matty had fixed for the two of them - it tasted surprisingly good, but she was quite bloated, even after a good five or so hours, which made her pretty anxious. Her soft, thick thighs, which he liked, weren’t to her liking. Not even close. Subconsciously, she tugged at her hair, threatening to rip it all out and scream, once again holding back a waterfall of tears. Then, back to staring at the cars passing by.

Eventually, they made it to George’s place. They could hear the music blaring from the opposite end of the block -- it was loud. Impossibly tumultuous. That by itself was already stressing Y/N out, to the point where she didn’t even realize Matty had stopped the car until he opened her door and helped her out. She thanked him, clinging onto his hand as if it was her last breath; his other hand rubbed her back in a soothing matter. They got to the door and were greeted by none other than Adam Hann after a brief sequence of knocks, his beautifully angled eyebrows sitting at an even higher angle once his eyes met with the pair’s own. “Y/N! Matty! A bit late, but come in! We’ve been waiting for ages,” he chirped, a slight slur to his words, especially when he emphasized ‘ages’.

Matty gave his close friend a slight chuckle, you instinctively following suit. “Yeah, sorry about that, mate. My love-” he ruffled your curled hair with his free hand, pulling you in a bit closer to him and kissing your forehead “-here is just so distractingly beautiful!” A very, very, embarrassingly bright blush crept onto your cheeks, and you let out the first genuine giggle you had all day. It was those small, yet memorable moments of pure cuteness that really made you fall in love with him. You cherished those memories -- you remembered every single time he’d done something like that. It was a mix of hilarity and endearment that you felt every time Matty shed his bad boy, rock star demeanour and replaced his it with a soft, loving one. One that secretly preferred being the little spoon sometimes. One that was surprisingly vulnerable. It was a side of Matty most people didn’t get to experience - and boy, was she grateful she got to.

“Not as pretty as you, Matthew,” you teased, wrapping your arms around his neck (which was covered in a mop of dark brown ringlets). He looked at you with a face that could only be described as an odd mix of amusement, adoration, and disgust.

“Don’t ever call me Matthew again, for the love of God.” Matty laughed, even harder as Adam faked a gag. “Oh, shut the fuck up, Hann! S’not like you and Carly are any different.”

“Not publicly. That’s gross.”

“Shut your trap,” he quipped as he jokingly shoved the blonde guitarist away so he could enter George’s not-so-humble abode (though he was quite humble about it nevertheless) with his girlfriend in tow.

The lights were bright. They flashed a lot, too (they flashed even more than those God-awful ‘groupies’ at literally every show the boys played), and they were far from pleasant; Y/N felt slightly queasy but, not like she herself would throw up… rather like her mind would. It seemed to be a combination of stress, body image, and an unexpectedly onset depressive episode. She felt herself stumble, almost as if she was as intoxicated as the vast majority of people attending this event, but she caught herself before Matty noticed. He was talking to some old friend he hadn’t seen since high school, which made her job easier as he assumed she was just being lovey-dovey when she gripped his arm - his obliviousness was a gift at times. This being one of them.

The friend - Y/N gathered her name was Tiera - was stunning. Jaw-droppingly gorgeous. Model material. Her bone structure was immaculate, and her platinum blonde box braids contrasted beautifully with her glowing dark skin. Her body was just as, if not more perfect than her face. She was fit in every sense of the word, with curves that would be the death of any woman or man who laid eyes on them… and YN’s brain insisted that this mesmerizing lady was going to be the end of her Matty too, and taking in the sight of them innocently catching up was when she lost it.

You see, she wasn’t normally a very jealous person; but the pure self loathing she had felt towards her own body that day, and then seeing how flawless Tiera’s was and how friendly her and Matty were especially compared to the distance they kept on the way to George’s, was just too much. She let go of Matty’s long, thin arm, pushing it away as hard as she could, and wriggled out of his grasp as if he was some sort of rat who was going to give her the Bubonic plague. Shocked, he looked back at her - his arrestingly ravishing girlfriend, the apple of his eye (dare I say - I do apologize for the cheesiness), her Y/H/C hair and black dress swaying in sync as she bolted towards his best friend’s restroom. What the fuck? He thought, his mouth agape just as it had been the first time he laid eyes on her. Except, rather than admiration, he stared in confusion.

Remember when I said that their bathroom was Y/N’s favourite place to cry? Well, I wasn’t lying. She found George’s to have the same pleasant, calming atmosphere that screamed “I AM HERE FOR YOU”, just as Matty wanted to earlier - unbeknownst to her.

She locked the door behind her as fast as she could, finding the light to be already on. She paced towards the mirror, recoiling in shock - she didn’t remember being that hideous at home. Maybe that’s because she hadn’t yet seen Tiera or any of the beautiful faces and bodies that peppered the gathering.

After inspecting her face and looking as hard as she could, she managed to scavenge every single little ‘flaw’ in existence. She rushed to smash the lightswitch back off with every ounce of rage in her body, hurting her delicate palms in the process, which made the tears she didn’t even realize were there spill out even harder. Great, now she hurt physically and mentally.

She slumped in the corner beside the sink, but not before pulling a fluffy green bathmat underneath her for a little bit of cushioning. Last time she cried in George’s bathroom, she split her palm open and thus felt as though she had every right to bawl her eyes out, considering the depth of the cut and her shockingly low pain tolerance - her and Matty were on the cold marble tile, hugging in intervals before her bandage was soaked through and needed to be replaced again--

Oh dear. Matty. Thinking of him again made her sobs grow in volume and frequency, and she could’ve sworn that by now she looked like some sort of raccoon. And although she trusted him with her heart and soul and deep down knew he would never, she couldn’t help but think that he was probably making out with some thotty little twerp. She put her head in her hands, numerous thoughts flooding her mind as she cried and cried. The room was spinning. Just like out in the main room. It was spinning, it was blurry, she was hyperventilating, and although she knew she would have to leave the bathroom and face Matty eventually, she continued to hide, sulking in solitude.

Suddenly, knocks boomed throughout the echoey room, and Y/N hoarsely got out a small confirmation that the room was in use.

“Y/N, we know it’s in use,” a gentle yet profoundly low voice replied. The voice was familiar - because, well, it belonged to the owner of the bathroom. “Could you come out, please? We’re worried sick.”

She cried harder. She hated being a burden - that’s why she came here - but she’d made it ten times worse. Like always. “W-who’s w-we?”

“Matty and me. Adam and Ross would be too, but we don’t know what they’ve gotten into.”

“I’m not coming out.”

“Please?”

Y/N dragged her quivering body to the door and unlocked it, guilt and shame apparent on her features as she faced the two men in front of her. Matty scooped her up, tears in his eyes, holding her as close as he possibly could. He thanked George for having him over and bid his goodbyes before making his way to their shared car and buckling her into the passenger’s seat. He’d had an amaretto or two and knew he probably shouldn’t have been driving, but whatever; he could pay for whatever fine they gave him. Y/N was worth a DUI and a ticket.

“What happened out there, love?” Matty inquired, sad brown gaze trying to read into her Y/E/C one.

She shook her head, face and hair still caked with the salty liquid that wouldn’t dare stop seeping out of her eyes.

He pursed his soft lips, before moving his hand too caress her wet cheek. “You have to tell me so I can help you, babe. I love you. How about we talk about it in bed?” He didn’t mean it sexually, at least not right now.

She nodded. That was really all he needed, leaning in to place a heartfelt kiss on her lips, grinning as he saw a small smile form. He offered his hand, and she took it, and they stayed like that for the rest of their journey home.

As soon as they got back, Matty made sure to tend to her every need - he tied her hair back, removed her rodent-like mess of makeup, and helped her get into more comfortable attire (his shirt, which secretly made him swoon). He frowned upon her refusal of chicken noodle soup - her favourite, especially when he made it. He carried her to their bed and decided to take charge and be the big spoon this time. “Alright, love. What’s up?”

She bit the inside of her cheek anxiously. She’d stopped crying, however she was still on the verge of tears. “I think I had a panic attack in George’s bathroom. But that’s not th-the point. This week has been terrible. I’ve been getting a ton of hate, you’ve had interviews, which is good and all, but… bad timing, I guess? Ah, I don’t know. And you know that… that lunch that you made for us? It was good, really good, but, I was pretty bloated after that which never fails to get me down! And then we had to go to that party, and I felt ugly and disgusting, and it just… wouldn’t stop. At the party, I felt even worse. Sick. And everyone there was gorgeous, especially… what’s her name? Tia? Tyra? Tiera. Yes. And I thought you liked her because I’m a mess. And…” she paused, a tear falling down her cheek. “I think that’s it?”

It hurt Matty’s heart to hear her pour hers out to him in such a melancholy way. He’d known of her insecurities -- it’s why she was usually quite hesitant about any intimacy whatsoever, even a simple hug -- and every single one of his attempts to comfort her, restore her self esteem, assure her she was the most gorgeous girl he’d ever laid eyes on (hence why they were dating). He sighed, pulling her into a warm embrace. “You’re breathtaking. Don’t ever think otherwise. And by the way,” he began, pausing as she cocked her head to the side. “I’ve got worry about her more than you do. She told me you were quite fit before you ran off.” They shared warm laughs, before Y/N looked into his eyes once again.

“I love you, rockstar.”

“I love you too.”

And with that, both my hands and the star-crossed lovers got some rest. Writing six pages is not easy on the wrist.

#the 1975 #adam hann #matty healy x reader #matty healy #george daniel #ross macdonald #abiior #iliwysfyasbysuoi #drive like i do #imagines #imagine #fanfic

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