#than an escalation of any constant sense of insecurity

[equalperson]

on the one hand, I'm very neurotic, but on the other hand, I just have so much difficulty relating to outright vulnerable narcissists that I'm this 🤏 close to just identifying as a grandiose narcissist irregardless.

I see a lot of narcissists say things like "oh narcissism isn't about being some uncaring egotist, it's about constant feelings of inferiority and self-criticism and depression and perfectionism and a debilitating fear of failure!" and I just,. don't really relate to that?

I am an uncaring egotist TBH, and I only really hate Myself when My avoidant personality takes the reins and I have a shame spiral.

I say that I'm destined to succeed, that I can do whatever I want, that I'm the smartest and prettiest/handsomest and overall best person in the room at all times and--even though I disguise it as a joke most of the time--I fucking mean it.

I don't relate to the feeling that narcissism is just endless inferior suffering that's simply compensated for with grandiosity.

call Me anosognosic, but the episodes where I hate Myself feel much more like when I'm losing track of who I really am than My baseline self-aggrandizement ever has. even at My most shame-prone, I still felt this way.

this isn't to say that narcissism is exclusively this superpower or that it isn't disabling in any way (My severe mood swings speak for themselves), but just that. I don't know. I just don't experience Myself as this empty person masquerading as something.

if anything, I experience My narcissism much more similarly to how I experience My autism: something that has amazing strengths as well as some deeply debilitating pitfalls, that impairs My ability to use certain cognitive skills without taking away from My depth as an individual.

[deletarius-draws]

A sketch composition of Solus Aximand (one of Tavs) during his time as a mercenary and gladiator. Nicknamed "Mountain Dog of the Pits".

Everyone else are faces he used to work with at the stage of his life as a "Critmin" Gladiator and Mercenary.

It’s a quick concept art piece that’s meant peek into Solus’ more chaotic lifestyle, to serve as imagery for a section of his backstory. I wanted to provide quickly sketched imagery along with some character lore and bios, so it’s not just words. That aside I’ll go ahead and get into a condensed version of Solus Aximand’s background, more so his Mercenary arc, before his joining into the Monk Monastery.

Solus' time as a mercenary was miserably grueling and filled with perpetual battles. He would push himself to his limits, spurred by the desire to never feel weak or vulnerable again. His survival guilt and determination to become a capable warrior would fuel his relentless training and combat efforts.

Solus struggled with the immoral actions of the mercenary group. Often finding himself at odds with their ruthless methods, leading to internal conflict and a sense of isolation.

Due to their moral and personality differences Solus would maintain a professional distance from his fellow mercenaries, seeing them as nothing more than necessary allies rather than friends. He would avoid forming close bonds, fearing betrayal and further emotional pain.

Solus' intensive militaristic training by his uncle Nemeus and determination would earn him respect, but his reluctance to fully embrace the ways of The Critmin Mercenaries made him a target of suspicion and distrust.

Solus' develops feelings for Kharmine. The female human barbarian that found him. He would be drawn to her strength and resilience, seeing her as a beacon of hope and stability in his chaotic life. But this is an unrequited Love.

Despite his deep affection, Kharmine would not reciprocate Solus' feelings. Kharmine only sees him as a useful asset and a loyal companion but would remain emotionally distant and unattainable.

Kharmine's Manipulation: Kharmine often exploits Solus' feelings to her advantage, using his loyalty and devotion to further her own goals and those of The Critmin organization. This manipulation would deepen Solus' emotional turmoil, leaving him feeling used and betrayed. Her only intent was making him a loyal attack dog, she knew no matter how dire the heat of combat escalated, he'd be willing to take risky and reckless actions to ensure her and The Critmin's victory. Kharmine's only focus was The Critmin Mercenary organization's well-being and the ambition of their fanatic leader.

**Psychological Effects on Solus:**

The combination of unrequited love, moral conflict, and the trauma of Solus' past would leave Solus in a state of constant emotional turmoil. He is haunted by feelings of guilt, anger, and grief, struggling to find a sense of purpose and belonging.

Despite his inner struggles and conflicts, Solus' experiences forged a deep resilience and hardening resolve within him. Driven by a desire to avenge his loved ones and prove his worth, using his pain as fuel for his relentless pursuit of what he'd consider justice.

The revelation of the supposed purpose of his Aximandian lineage and the betrayal by his uncle would leave Solus questioning his own identity and worth. Aximand and/or Axia are forged and destined for war and attrition, something his Uncle tried to deeply conditon into him. However, this would conflict with the heroic tales and stories read to him by his mother. He wanted to be a hero, not a soldier fighting an eternal war of any kind. He would come to realize that certain compromises must be made in order to survive. Even if that results his moral integrity, but he refuses to give in to needless abhorrent acts that his fellow mercenary and gladiatorial members would take part in.

Solus would occasionally grapple with feelings of internal self-doubt and insecurity, constantly seeking some form of validation and redemption. This caused Solus to take on dangerous quests or risky ventures to distract himself from his internal conflicts or other jobs that help distract him.

Solus' inability to form meaningful connections with his new companions and the unrequited love for Kharmine would leave him feeling profoundly lonely. This loneliness would be a constant companion, shaping his actions and decisions as he navigates his new life as a mercenary.

Solus is plagued by survival guilt, constantly questioning why he survived when so many others did not. This guilt would drive him to push himself harder, striving to become a powerful warrior capable of protecting his allies.

The constant exposure to violence and brutality would further desensitize Solus, hardening him emotionally. Kharmine's Manipulation and harsh training would push Solus to become more ruthless and efficient in combat, but at the cost of his empathy and compassion. The immoral actions of the mercenary group would gradually erode Solus's own moral compass. He would find himself making compromises and engaging in actions he once would have condemned.

Despite his hardened exterior, Solus would continue to struggle with inner conflict. The disparity between his actions and his sense of honor would create a deep-seated tension within him, leading to moments of doubt and self-reflection.

---‐---------

[ Here's a Part of Solus' origin after his home town was in ruin, I'll post the full synopsis separately, this post is solely Mercenary/Gladiator Solus info. How Solus met the Critmin mercenary group. ]

(This section starts off upon Solus' defeat against his uncle Nemeus and the eldritch-looking cambions. Everything prior will be in a seperate post.)

Solus declared his Uncle Nemeus a traitor, saying that he would avenge his mother, friends, and other family members. Solus' body is broken and worn, the demon soldiers that relentlessly battered him, mock him as he lies there with half his face in a puddle of blood and mud. His right eye above puddle level, still fixated on Nemeus.

Solus, disoriented and on the brink of passing out, hears garbled noises, prompting the cambions and Solus' uncle Nemeus to leave him there, figuring Solus' wounds would undoubtedly kill him. Nemeus unfolds his arms and orders the oddly eldritch appearing cambions to retreat, the figures walk out of Solus' line of sight before Solus' vision grows dark and he inevitably loses consciousness.

Despite his deadly wounds, Solus survives and awakens hours later, attempting to rise to his feet.

Solus looks around, only to be reminded that his visceral nightmare was real; in deep sadness, he spends his time burying the remains of his loved ones. In the pouring rain, he salvaged everything he could from their broken bodies. He would gather what remembrances he could as well as pictures and trinkets in his backpack before leaving his eradicated home town.

Solus becomes a wandering hermit for months after leaving his ruined hamlet grieving, where he had served as a watchman. A Barbarian mercenary woman and her companions discover him. Solus was curled up in a small crevasse he had made his own in a mountain. His ears twitch as he hears footsteps approaching him, his head tucked behind his bruised and bloodied knees.

Peering down at Solus, She laughs at his vulnerability before ordering Solus to get up. "Well well, look at the size of you, yet so pitiable." She raises her large axe adorned with extravagant gems crested within bands on the handle and points it at Solus' unkempt, coiled hair. Solus flinched with his palms jittery facing forward helplessly. "Rise. You're coming with us, consider yourself a recruit." Solus glances up at her, a large woman with years of battle defining her musculature and posture.

She stood proud and firm in the sunlight that gleamed over and through her tousled hair. Solus could've sworn he saw a halo behind the silhouette of her head. Her face in shade, revealing the intense battle scarring of her face, yet there was still a sense of grace, elegance and allure to her. She snaps Solus out of his trance with her imperious voice, "Do you intend on rotting there in decay...If so, I'll leave you to the wilds then."

She turns to walk away, but Solus mutters short in desperation and struggles to hoist himself up, his wounds not yet healed and his muscles and bones trembling. His curly, kinked hair obscuring his eyes. The Barbarian woman looks him up and down, surprised by his stature, and then cracks a smile "About time. You will call me Kharmine. Come on, lets get some food in you; you're beginning to resemble a 'bagman'." Solus limps as one of the mercenaries approaches cautiously to assist him.

Solus begins a new life as a mercenary and gladiator at age 21 to 24. The mercenary group called themselves "The Critmin". Solus still feels great sorrow and survival guilt as the sole survivor of his uncle Nemeus' betrayal and treachery.

Solus realizes that he must push himself from now on in order to become a skilled warrior capable of protecting and assisting his comerades in the heat of combat and attrition. Solus was a skilled fighter and showed great promise as a child in training, but at a certain point in his late teens (17 -19) he became complacent in his skills. His uncle Nemeus and Town gaurdsman mentors would strongly advise he continues his intensive training. But Solus at the time felt that he didn't have to train as hard since he wasn't an actual soldier. Solus strongly feels that his complacency is why he was ill prepared to save anyone from his hometown.

Solus' only desire is never to feel weak or vulnerable again, and is insecure about seeming inadequate, becoming increasingly terrified of failure.

Solus begins working jobs under The Critmin's name and is involved in an intense yet complicated intimate relationship with Kharmine.

Due to the Mercenaries' unethical behavior and their growing discontent of Solus. He would suffer from impostor syndrome as a result of the abhorrent crimes committed by the "Critmin" organization. Solus would eventually abandon the The Critmin mercenaries at the age of 24, taking with him any recollections and meaningful trinkets he kept close from his hometown.

Although, this wasn't a peaceful departure, Kharmine and other Critmin mercenaries he once deemed comrades would catch on to his attempt to abandon the organization. He was valuable, if a bit merciful when it came to specific circumstances. Solus' abilities and battle experience were beneficial.

They needed him nonetheless, and they don't allow individuals who quit the organization go without a lethal parting mark, or live at all. Kharmine and the others waited for him at a checkpoint he arranged to abandon the Critmin organization. Solus would confront Kharmine and the mercenaries she brought with her. She was tasked with bringing Solus back, but Solus refused to be chained any longer, being used as an instrument for the Critmin's wicked aspirations.

Solus needed a new stable structure, to find another way of achieving his own goals and vengence against Nemeus. Working under The Critmins wouldn't benefit him in any way, they only further damaged and stagnated him. Solus would conclude this arc of his life by battling Kharmine and the other Mercenaries to the death in order to continue his journey. It was a savage struggle in which Solus finally unleashed all of his suppressed rage, bitterness and vengeance. Even yet, it was merely a taste of the High Wood Elf hybrids' 'golden green ire'.

After becoming a vagabond hunting beasts and aiding locals for several months, in search of a new purpose, still grieving and bent on a rage that continues to consume him. He would eventually reach a Warrior Monk Monastery at the age of 25. (Unsure on which Monastery our buddy Solus joins at the moment. Haven't made up my mind on that yet. lol)

A peaceful place, a place that would provide Solus routine, structure, mindful meditations, proper sleep, calming exercises further increasing his strength and mental fortitude. Solus sought some form of peace, however this wanting of peace being what was left of his old self, would perpetually conflict with his deeper feelings of regret, loss and vengence that would also encourage him to seek power. Enduring pain, allowing it to swallow him whole, while ignoring most pleasures. He felt it was the only way he'd stand any chance against his traitorous uncle.

This broiling golden green flame within Solus needed control, the bloodlust of his war addicted Aximandian lineage would need to be quelled for focus and enjoy moments of true prolonged peace and his body needed to be further disciplined. Sculpted into something immovable yet mobile, a tempered weapon beyond that of a blade, axe or hammer.

Meditations would allow Solus to cultivate and focus his golden green ire, increasing focus, calming his Aximandian bloodlust and sharpening his vengeful intent. Solus is less reckless, more in tune and mindful of his emotions. Becoming and remaining calm and unperturbed. Of course the down side to this is that his vengeful intent and latent rage is laid dormant by the Monastery's teachings and training. Solus was growing numb, passion beginning to die...

- To be continued. I'll go in depth further once I've fleshed out his short time as a warrior monk, trying to reignite what had been dimmed, though not fully extinguished. Solus Aximand isn't a typical High Elf and carries a mysterious genetic essence that lies within Aximandian warrior blood. (Somthing Solus has very little knowledge of, and kinda doesn't care much for since it has to do with his Uncle Nemeus' mental conditioning, or anything to with Nemeus for that matter... he hates that man. Lol)

- You've my absolute and humblest gratitude for reading this far. It means a lot, greatly. :)

Any questions, thoughts or feedback is most welcome and appreciated. I'll probably be editing around and added little things to this while working on other information, bios and characters that connect to this.

Also please forgive me if it jumps around a bit. I've been adding different sections over time. It's more of an about Solus during this time rather than a well segmented bio as for right now.

[sugar-petals]

🌹 Sub!SuperM 18+ HC: Riding Their Faces

↳ NOTE. These guys... I swear. Bringing some heat to the dash right here. Enjoy the SuperMadness 👀

word count. 3.7k | bullet points | ot7

WARNINGS. ⚠️  all explicit, cum play, latex, hair & sweat kink, bondage, spit, brat taming, toys, breath play, ass fixation going strong, dominant reader, femdom, degradation, hardcore, veins kink, graphic language, strap-ons, crying kink, clothed sex, some crack

⌜ 💋  byun baekhyun ⌟

▸ strength: energy

not for the faint of heart. baekhyun thoroughly enjoys you giving it to him roughly; it’s the leader being led, how sexy is that

i spy with my femdom eye, baekhyun likes the bossy dommes who bring him to his knees — quite literally.

case in point: hates seeing you hold back. tells you to just bounce on him how you want it. no fumbling around, it’s gotta be hot and proper.

whatever you’re insecure about he hasn’t even noticed. the more confidently you’re taking your designated seat, the better. this shit’s gotta make him all loud and squeaky, baekhyun can’t get enough of your wild and demanding side. “don’t you dare move your hands!” — he’s already hooked.

yep, he’s part of the feral squad. and louder than the bass in jopping for that matter

small as hell face but the jaw is sharp, you can literally feel it, he fits between your legs so well

endless breath. put your pussy all over that nose, grind on it, cum all over him. society will thank you for suffocating a millionaire

like seriously the breath play is off the charts. if he’s into asphyxiation you’d not be surprised

meanwile baek’s naughty hips keep on bucking, like hello there, giving you a cheeky 69 invitation

such a cocky little shit, whiny byun all the way from those ruined orgasms he’ll be getting cuz you might just touch him with two fingers at best, you know how to keep him on his toes

swallows everything he’s like whatever, almost chokes because he’s so messy and greedy to taste you. damn baekhyun

does a “mmhhhnnn...!” sound all the time, this guy has pussy all over his face and is still more vocal than you no matter what you do

eats ass, all day if he can, knows the most shocking techniques, wants to get crushed by booty he’ll end up admitting it. no matter how big or small yours is. because remember, that face is small, everything is big to him

the type to cum on his stomach way before you do. groans a lot, then goes on even more intensely, how the hell did he just leak out five ounces of semen and still manage a whole tongue workout

slobbery and all over the place, those are tongue movements you can’t even think of in your wildest dreams

baekhyun is never content just making you cum once or just really lowkey, much less hearing you being silent. he’s a moodmaker, he naturally wants to hear you, and see you twitch like the world ends for goodness sake

brattiest tongue ever, always pulls out the taunting puppy licks, tries to grope you all the time, he’ll get a rough spanking later believe me

also gets his payback from you being crazy wet, as beautiful and cute his face might be it’s gonna end up damn ruined

not gonna lie his voice acrobatics will turn you into a waterfall that’s coming down on him

you can punish him for teasing by going raw with your hips, mochi is in wonderland, seeing stars. put his wrists in a spreader bar and go off is what i’m saying, YOLO

since baekhyun annoys the members by being so hyper in the evening, they appreciate you knocking him out for sleep. and indeed baekhyun dozes like a baby, probably using your ass as a pillow or something

you’ve drained the shit out of him and um watered the flower that is his face, so

another cupcake down, mission success, baekhyun certainly had his fill not to mention lucky you having to deal with his wildly talented mouth ahem, moral of the story annihilate him with your ass

⌜ 💋  lee taemin ⌟

▸ strength: steaminess

you will come (heh) to discover that none of his lyrics were a lie

yeah he’s busy hot boy shit for his gal

taemin has an all-soft and plush tongue that’s super pinkish. it literally feels so good, how to ever get enough of it holy shit

it also happens to be very long so buckle up, he wants to be deep inside of you, serve and please you

probably the most slow and agile movement in the group, tantalizing is the right word for sure

prefers kissing and sucking over just licking because he’s sappy, good on him and good on you those lips are heaven and need to be used by all means

once you go on the pill, taemin will eat his own creampies straight out of you, maybe even two at once, it’s taemin c’mon he’s above-average horny lord knows how much sperm he’s hoarding

loves drowning it seems

raunchy stuff aside, he always dresses up nicely or wears the fluffy sweaters you like the most on him. what an exclusive ride, the scent of the clothing turns you on even more he’s pulling all the registers taemin is so docile and giggly

most sensual style in the group, will edge and give you goosebumps first before the main course even remotely goes down, taemin thinks in several stages hot damn he calculated this 

his face heats up so much it’s crazy, then again kkoongie capitalizes on all the warmth from the radiator so you might as well be taemin’s personal heating alright. it’s fun seeing him sweat like mad, see his neck veins bulge... ugh 

is gonna be a provocateur and try to nibble on your folds, man he just wants to get slapped around you can see right through this brat’s rowdy plan

might even want his ass played with while you ride his face so prepare for some intense contortions, fingering, butt plugs, prostate massage, the whole array, gladly taemin is flexible

always pulls it off hands-free because he’s a pro and well yeah he’s always tied up how um totally surprising

and any challenge he will meet that i guarantee you

he has immediately apparent shinee concert stamina, longevity like his career, taemin can lend his face to your purposes for the whole night he doesn’t care if he needs to chuck it in the freezer afterwards

bonus: if taemin doesn’t at some point wear one of his glittery masks for sexy time, somebody is probably impersonating him and it’s not the real lee taemin i’m afraid

so many orgasms you’ll stop counting, one blends into the other, even if you’re not moving much, how does he do it

that being said gee can we just appreciate how beautiful his face is, everything about him, it’s gonna be so sexy and soft to kiss him to sleep oh my god

⌜ 💋  kim jongin ⌟

▸ strength: escalating

just how industrious is he? dammit kai is the rent due or something, this shit is not a comeback stage cool down

jongin is needy as fuck, he’s desperate to taste you especially in the morning when his lips are all plump

since then he’s skipped his skin care routine you do the bulk of the moisturizing you see

jokes aside get ready for whimpery kai thrusting his face right into you because he can, should you need something to hold onto, his thighs are literally right there

constant high-pitched moans, some during quick pauses, others stifled, kai are you okay he’s really going all out 

so thirsty

if you don’t put a harness on him for this you’re missing out, also you need something to hold this wild slutty motherfucker in place

rock-hard throughout, harder than a goddamn superm choreography

also: sturdy chin that can take a lot, it’s made to be sat on

does a lot of the work, very active, main dancer vibes you know, you can be lazy and just enjoy

most continuous style in the group, gradually getting more and more passionate and nervous — the second you thought it gets boring he goes off, have fun losing your mind and seeing him basically K.O. himself

if he wants to make you cum, rapid tongue jabs deep into your clit, and his hard breath against it, no fair play in here

absolutely has a thing for your shaking thighs, like what the hell he’s blowing a huge load the more you tremble, and he’s goddamn crying from pleasure every time woah

those big ole lips are an absolute treat, yeah i’ll say it again his face is meant for this

wants to be called all kinds of names wow jongin, it just spurs him more

kai. is. so. good. 

you can most definitely film your own POV cam, jongin can put on one hell of a show. just this time it’s not his eyes flirting with the camera, it’s his tongue getting a nice rough treatment oh yum

don’t get me wrong he can deliver a romantic version of this, but kai just likes you being tough on his face he can’t deny it

uses his hands so you can ride him even harder, all his teddy bears will be falling off the bed like dominoes

might one day ascend to heaven while giving head, wouldn’t regret it

can do it until complete exhaustion you guys just pass out

being such an oral workaholic do i sense a masochist streak in him there? 

fucking typical capricorn

⌜ 💋  wong yukhei ⌟

▸ strength: appetite

first off yukhei is hilarious

it’s called eating out and that’s exactly what he does duh, he’s not nicknamed foodcas for no reason — the restaurant is open my dear, and he just served himself five courses (you)

gets super sweaty, forehead and down the neck, a 6′0 glazed bun can you imagine

giggles a lot, makes the atmosphere relaxed, loves banter before and after, an allround sweet experience

though beware, this guy is hungry. most prone to open his mouth super wide he wants to eat all of you at once

don’t tell kun how nasty he is, much less leader baekhyun, promise me that

and especially nosy kai should not hear about what sexy shit yukhei is doing in his freetime unless you want to trigger a war 

that being said the wayv dorm is still the safest place to sit on his face, so. it’s a lawless land there, nobody gives a fuck anymore at this point. yangyang would not even blink if ten murdered someone in cold blood on the balcony, that’s how the atmosphere there can be best described

lucas being a far more harmless himbo still ironically fits into the environment being so sexually insatiable, just how often are you going to fuck? it’s only natural to lose the overview

he loudly pouts and complains when it ends, wants to go on and on, you need a lotta stamina to get with this guy this is not a warning it’s a fact — yukhei really wants to tire himself out and give everything

if you lower your thighs just a little you can feel his dangly earrings. kinda sexy but also a safety concern i know i know, he’s not gonna wear them next time 

noisy as heck, wants to do well, always goes the extra mile to be sure you are all happy and satisfied with today’s dining

his tongue is... big...

we’re not gonna talk about that giant bulge either, such a huge tent in those pants it’s a whole camping ground. anyway

what we’ll talk about. his super soft blonde hair, we’re talking salon quality soft, that’s amazing to feel against your legs, it’s great to pull as well, or to twirl really playfully

though there’s not much playful going down when the initial inhibition drops

he’s not made of glass you can really get those hips going

sliding down his nose when you’re all wet... damn good stuff.

lucas is the kinda guy that has you grunting and gritting he loves your reactions, and how aggressive you can get. usually he’s the reaction king but like this? he can get used to it.

totally into having that kinda frog perspective it’s a whole new thing, he’s such a giant now he’s below you, the sight is just superb to him

less likely to have toys involved, but rather a bunch of rope for his chest, his arms, his long ass legs. yukhei is a bondage insider tip y’all

stable as a block of metal. if you go a little too wild on baekhyun he’s probably gonna break his mochi neck but lucas is a different calibre, this mf is made of giant muscles galore, i can only say one thing: finish him

⌜ 💋  mark lee ⌟

▸ strength: speed

talks a lot, even occasionally curses — instantly apologizing, but you curse right back, so this becomes the cussing olympics at some point, taeyong would bury his face in the ground all his parenting efforts have gone to waste

mark basically chokes himself

he can’t control his spit by all means jesus... in his own words: must be the drip then

next to taemin and baekhyun here we have the third drowning victim, mark is in serious need of multiple tissues or towels afterwards but that’s exactly what he likes

mark’s slutty side is not to be underestimated i’m warning you

that’s a healthy young man right here

loves to do quickies to get you off during daytime, if you’re horny just tell him and he’ll find a quiet spot, might do it on his knees rather than you riding him sometimes for practical reasons 

all options open, mark is flexible af. if someone can promote with nct dream and superm at the same time that’s the result

so yeah you’ll experiment with positions and even outfits, what’s the most comfortable to wear? 

few people even remotely think about this. mark himself stays in his signature sweater but the glasses come off, you know very well he’s a nerd without them he has nothing to prove lmao!

the clothes will be cozy but don’t let that fool you yet alright

this guy has watched too much porn to just keep it light and cute

don’t get me wrong you can baby him ad nauseam for the more gentle femdom moods

but at the end of the day mark loves some intense shit, he likes feisty girls who aren’t coy and subby, the more perverted you are the better, in fact he enjoys being shocked with brazen attitude and getting orders on what to do.

loves it when you to take it all out on him, rough is good. mark lee’s face is the rodeo range of super m alright, just don’t break his glorious jaw or anything, he still needs it okay

but yeah mark’s face is tempting to ride hard not gonna lie

his tongue can go so fast it’s at the speed of sound, no, the speed of fucking light. mark goes crazy on your clit, wait a few seconds, boom five orgasms rain down on you. 

it’s like an anime swordsman just lifting the sword hilt, walking off calmly, and one minute later things are in shambles like how? mark’s sword tech is just epic like that

he’s a leo what did we expect, show-off

in the meantime, RIP to mark lee’s pants. they’ll be soaked with cum, gonna be a bitch to hide your clothes from taeyong who’s always eager to wash everything by himself

that aside, mark really enjoys the position, he doesn’t need much else to be honest, he goes “oh my god oh shit” enough for you to know

thank god he’s a rapper, otherwise his dang technique would be dangerous, he doesn’t breathe for half a minute or so

enjoys you really doing shallow thrusts, super fast and sloppy, loves how much you enjoy it

needless to say: breaks a guinness world record for most licks per second, it’s that mark lee flow

long story short his face is your favorite spot he can prepare for a daily session

all that practice on water melons paid off good job markly

⌜ 💋  ten lee ⌟

▸ strength: allround skill

you know a pro by how he’s offering you a tall glass of water beforehand

and by the way he’s chugging one himself

champion, a keeper

you’re guaranteed to love it, ten is amazing

takes his time, gets to know your every inch, figures out your soft spots in a matter of minutes to seconds

everything for his sexy mama, service sub right here

take him on a leash, grind on his lips, make him kiss your clit, he’ll respond by circling his tongue around obediently

chittaphon might be a little fidgety at the beginning, but the atmosphere is not as tense anymore after doing it two or three times. 

ten is actually quite good cracking lighthearted jokes and showing his more extroverted side, he always gets like that with a partner. 

you have an easy time with build-up conversations and communicating in general, same with aftercare pillow talk

that being said the degree of professionalism this guy is heading for needs a lot of talk in the first place. 

ten likes doing advanced things that aren’t just intuitively understood, you need to exchange yourself a lot

through trial and error you figure out how to incorporate sex toys into the little routine you have going on

the pleasure will be so intense you’ll never want anything else fuck

ten is also down for a lot of moving around, some athletic shit

you’ll go from bouncing on his dick to smothering his face back and forth pretty much, let’s see how fast you’re gonna bust a huge nut like that my bet is five minutes

those like “oh... ah—” moans are just angelic

since he focuses so much on your erogenous zones and always keeps his hands involved, ten is always guaranteed to have you breaking a major sweat

ten does not like to eat any fruits, they say. well that’s true, because he’s too busy eating you that is. boy can basically retire from citizenhood, he’s that busy between your legs. 

enough fruit juice for an entire week impending, don’t worry about his nutrients, this is also a form of diet.

uses his chin, his cheeks, the nose especially, the damn nose it’s perfectly shaped

wants you to really ride him hard, and fast, no holds barred at all, going so feral he’ll be squeezing his eyes shut

sometimes his hair gets in the way, it’s just so damn long. the result: hair ties for face-sitting, always on his wrist

among all members, buries his face the deepest, turns him on so much

always makes sure you’re both washed up, no impromptu sessions. ten is a hygiene priest and he’s right

the mattress is kinda bouncy and he always uses his favorite soft pillow under his head so you can definitely take mister ten lee to pound town like work your hips give it to him

in case he survives i send my congrats, you got yourself the right guy, terrific choice queen

⌜ 💋  lee taeyong ⌟

▸ strength: ideas

how much more religiously can he eat you out, he treats this like the best reward he can get

as you can probably tell by now, all the lee surname members are definitely a certain brand and clan of highly distinguished pussy eaters like, these guys are a fucking gang like... well taeyong is no different

reckless abandon oral, eats you like it’s the last day, even death fears lee taeyong when he’s in giving head mode

you might be showering together beforehand and be all shy and kissy like it’s puppy love. but that is all for naught when the tongue of god is unleashed and taeyong gets himself as messed up as he can

yeah i like the thought of god being incarnated as kinky taeyong begging to have his mouth spit and cummed in it just makes sense

very deep mumbles, very hard breathing, those veiny hands on your waist, he wants to make you feel good so bad, fuck he’s so sexy

intense facial expressions, need i say more

also um... he likes to be... threatened. he’s the student you’re the teacher, strict as hell surveying his every move, the more you yell at him the harder he gets, jesus christ he has a thing for you acting mad and shit

taeyong doesn’t even need you to pull off your underwear, he’s gone get through any type of fabric with that leaking mouth

let’s just say he likes to experiment with innovative techniques... anyway, taeyong is a nasty fucking freak, he’s a grade A hoe, you never know what to expect

one time he just licks like a shy doe, the next second slurping explosion 5000

imagine whipping his thighs with a riding crop while sitting right on that ultra gorgeous elven prince face like

taeyong is almost always getting super emotional. he sheds even more tears than kai, like at some point you’ll develop a crying kink because of him SOS

nervous as hell, shaky hands. that can easily be fixed sir let’s tie em up

has you moaning nonstop, he’s so engaged and so dead-on with his movements. don’t be surprised if this damned man has your eyes almost falling out

beware, this guy is into full-on sensual deprivation as well. blindfolds are only the start. 

you might end up with a whole lotta black latex involved, who knows, a whole gimp on him he’s down for that, he learned from ten what it is blame chittaphon’s vast kinky knowledge

even better: while you’re grinding on him, taeyong likes you pumping his cock with a fleshlight with zero mercy until he yelps in tiny oops

hell he might ask you to roughly fuck his face with a strap and then ride it, the mister likes double treats huh

then again: wants it to be degrading and dirty and intense on some days, and really wholesome and romantic on others

especially aftercare will be sweet and dulcet, you take care of him, pepper him with kisses for being such a dutiful boy.

looks pretty no matter what. maybe he’s born with it maybe it’s tyongbelline. yeah just how handsome is that face and hair like... t’yongreal paris in full splendor

long story short he’s an oral deity. i rest my case howdy and goodbye see you next time aye

superm masterlist

© submissive-bangtan 2017-2021. all rights reserved. do not repost or translate. all depictions fictional.

[acciofanfics]

A Hug Perhaps? |Harry Potter|

Pairing: Harry Potter x Shy!Gryffindor!Reader

Warnings: Umm very brief make-out?

A/N: I fear this is OOC and I apologize in advance lol -S

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

If she thought about it really, then honestly it made complete sense as to why Harry was always so… clingy. The poor boy grew up in a cupboard with family that by all accounts seemed to hate him. The only positive things that apparently happened to him that he could even recall were at Hogwarts or with people that he met at or going to Hogwarts. So, it was only logical that when he finally found someone he loved and loved him in a romantic sense that he would actively seek out physical comfort from that person. No, it totally made sense and (Y/N) completely understood, but…

Well, it hasn’t been so bad when they first started dating. It wasn’t a big secret that (Y/N) was quite shy and only really spoke to a select few housemates (I.e. Fred, George and Hermione), so Harry hadn’t expected her to be so outgoing with any PDA. Slowly, but surely she warmed up slightly. She could now hold his hand in the hallways without feeling like her heart was about to pop out of her chest.

Currently though… well she felt as if she was engulfed in a sea of fire, her heart pounded, her palms were sweating and her head was ready to explode with the pace at which thoughts penetrated her skull. She’d brought it upon herself, she knew that, but she hadn’t really expected everything to escalate so quickly. She’d just felt guilty that after so long their relationship remained so… innocent in a sense. Harry didn’t ever seem bothered by it per say, but (Y/N) couldn’t help but feel a pang of insecurity when she felt his touches start to linger. So she’d made up her mind. She’d put herself out there and actually kiss him the next time they were alone in the common room.

She did suppose she should feel somewhat flattered by how quickly Harry had gotten into it. But she found it hard to concentrate on anything at the moment as his lips moved across hers.

It wasn’t as if she didn’t enjoy the sensation of his hands on her, how his body felt against hers and the way he tasted on her tongue. All of if it was quite pleasant, but as he gently pushed her down against the sofa it was just-

“Ah! I’m sorry! It’s just too much…” (Y/N) explained breathless and hot from the encounter as she carefully guided him off of her.

Harry hadn’t thought much about the abrupt end. He was more than thrilled that she’d just initiated it in general. Of course as the days progressed it was hard not to analyze the way she pushed him off. Because after it happened she started to withdraw from him. She dodged kisses, went out of her way to never have a free hand to hold, and went rigid every time he tried to hold her or cuddle up next to her.

(Y/N) was brilliant and smart. Kind and quiet. She was sorted into Gryffindor as well, but she was far from outgoing. She’d easily caught Harry’s eye though. He worked so hard to her her comfortable with him and it was easy to see now that he had early misjudged his progress entirely. She wasn’t comfortable with him at all. Well, Harry would give her the space she so clearly wanted even if he didn’t want to.

——

“Are… are you mad at me?”

(Y/N)’s soft voice startled Harry and made him practically jump out of his bed. It was true he was avoiding her, but honestly the idea of her coming to find him never even crossed his mind. Wait… she’d even wandered up to the boy’s dormitory to look for him, “Umm- no of course not.”

“Y-you say that, but I haven’t seen you around and- well you didn’t… you didn’t even come hug me today.” She twirled her thumbs as she spoke, a clear sign of unease, “And Hermione said you’ve been sulking around like a lost puppy…”

“I was starting to get the impression that you weren’t fond of my constant presence-“

“I’m sorry! I knew you were upset about the other day… um… I liked doing that with you and I’d like to do it again… but well… I’m a little nervous and… maybe we can take it a wee bit slower?” (Y/N) was sure that he could feel the heat from her face all the way from across the room. She did find herself relaxing a bit when he smiled at her.

“Sounds good to me.”

“Maybe we could start with that hug?”

[frosteee]

Re-reading Junji Ito's awesome adaption of Frankenstein got me thinking about the Creature again, particularly his request for a female monster from his creator.

When I first read the story, waaay back, I felt sympathy for the Creature wanting a partner like most people do, and angry at Victor for destroying the female creature and the Creature's hopes with it.

But re-reading the scene - from the original novel - I see it differently. While you can still understand the Creature's position (all alone in the world, feared and hated because of his appearance), his belief that having a partner would magically make him both happy and harmless is naïve, toxic and, ultimately, doomed for failure.

Naïve

I think this can be partly attributed to his creation/nature. He was shunned at birth and left to figure out his own origins and mull existential questions on his own - and the answers were terrible. He had no guide or protector - that was Victor's job, and he rejected that instantly - and so was constantly trying to fill the void, like a child would. The Creature is, for all his eloquence, still an immature child in a monster's body.

Equating marriage to happiness might also be attributed to his experience with the blind man's family, where the Creature truly gained a sense of self and concept of relationships in general. He sees the positive effects the introduction of Safie has on the blind man's family, especially Felix, who loves her:

"The presence of Safie diffused happiness among its inhabitants, and I also found a greater degree of plenty reigned there."

The Creature clearly connects this experience with his vision of life with a female partner. The blind man's family were poor, but content, because of Safie, so the Creature presumes - hopes - that the same will apply to him.

Toxic

There is an enormous amount of selfishness in this request. He is demanding another being exist to be just as miserable and alone as he is, simply so that it makes him a little less so.

The Creature is actually aware of this - he says (my bold for emphasis):

"It is true that we shall be monsters, cut off from all the world; but on that account we shall be more attached to one another. Our lives will not be happy, but they will be harmless, and free from the misery I now feel."

The Creature knows what kind of life will be in store for his female companion, but his priority is his own comfort and he simply does not care. He later states "O Creator, make me happy!", contradicting his earlier statement and suggesting that while his partner will be unhappy, he will be happy with their lot in life.

Doomed to fail

He is the misery that wants company. He constantly looks to external forces to ensure his own happiness - the blind man's family, Victor, the hypothetical female creature - but has no ability, or desire, to find his own form of happiness.

Edit: Also, a union based on shared misery is HELLISH.

At this point in this story, the Creature has suffered enormous damage to his mind as well as his body. He has killed (innocent) people in blind rage. Behaviour and thoughts like that can't just flip on a dime. He has severe issues with anger, abandonment and envy, and it has escalated to murder.

He is not at peace with his own existence, and a female version of himself (which is essentially what he wants) can't give that to him. It needs to come from within.

But again, the Creature is looking for betterment in external factors. He constantly describes himself as ugly and incapable of being more than a miserable murderer because of how he looks and how he is treated, becoming his own self-fulfilling prophecy in the process.

Having a partner just as ugly as him would not make him less so. In fact, it would only serve as a constant reminder of his own ugliness and isolation from the world. Ultimately, he would still have his insecurities and identity issues. The only difference would be that he would have someone to complain with!

Speaking of the female partner - as I said before, the Creature is aware of the kind of life she would be living, but does not consider this important enough to think twice about it. His comfort and 'happiness' trump hers. He doesn't think about what the female partner think about being created purely for his satisfaction, doomed to life of loneliness and secrecy. He doesn't consider that she might, justifiably, resent the Creature like he resents Victor Frankenstein. He doesn't consider that she, as a thinking being, would simply not like him, or not like him as much as he would want her to. He doesn't consider that he might not like her either. He doesn't consider that the violent negative emotions and trauma he suffered will have long-term effects and negatively impact his partner or humanity.

To him, the female creature is simply a means to an end. Victor destroying the creature in the novel does not take away the fact that the Creature was naïve to think that having a companion would make him truly happy, and unfair to play god just as his own creator had done. There are just so many factors and issues that the Creature either ignores or deludes himself about for the female partner to have done him or the world any good.

In Junji Ito's version - as with The Bride of Frankenstein - the female creature is completed and animated, but she rejects the Creature on sight - and it goes exactly as badly as you would expect. He blames Victor for deliberately making her that way, not caring how irrational this thought process is (the Creature was an unintelligent, animalistic thing when he was first animated). He refuses to acknowledge his own unrealistic expectations and desires, pushing all responsibility onto Victor (not saying Victor doesn't share blame as well, he does) and vows vengeance.

Ultimately, in any version, the Creature simply was not equipped with the right tools, had the right mindset, or in a position to have a partner like he wanted. It was wasn't ever going to end well, and that's the tragedy of it.

[imasimpforshanks]

Hello <3 Can I ask for Angst alphabet with Coby ?~ thanks a lot <3

Angst Alphabet - Coby

a/n: BRUHHHH HIS WAS SO HARD TO DO BC HES SUCH A SWEETIE 😭😭😭😭😭💗 regardless, I hope you like it! x

ALSO - please note reader is a civilian and not a marine (but coby is still a marine). It was just easier for me to write it this way !!

A- Accident (would they blame themselves if you died in an accident?)

Coby wouldn’t exactly blame himself, but he would feel really weak. It would be lots of comments about his own worth and capabilities such as: “I’m still too weak” or I’m never going to be strong enough”. (kind of similar to Zoro in that sense).

B-Break up (How would they break up with you?)

He would try to be as honest and as upfront as possible, but he gets really anxious and just starts stumbling over his words ending every sentence with “ya know?”. In the end, he just uses every cliché in the book because he can’t remember or seem to find the ability to say what he really wanted to.

C-Crying (how would they make you cry?)

This dude is far too much of a sweetheart to ever make you cry. If you were to cry because of him, it’d be because of how much time the two of you have to be away from each other. He hates having to leave you because it’s always a lot of tears on both sides.

D-Death (how would they react to your death?)

He would be devasted. Crying in front of anyone and everyone he doesn’t care. Coby would also become really unmotivated and go through a little bit of an existential crisis like “What’s the point of this anymore?” “what am I even doing?”. Eventually he’d remember how much you believed in him, and how much good he could really do in the world – so, he’d keep going. For you.

E-Emotion (what is one emotion they would try to hide the most and how would they do it?)

Honestly, Coby is someone who is extremely open and expressive. He doesn’t (or maybe it’s more accurate to say he can’t) hide his emotions. That’s just not who he is. He expresses openly whatever emotion it is he is feeling.

F-Fight (do you two ever fight? How big are the fights? What do you fight about? Etc.)

He genuinely tries to avoid fighting with you at all costs. Nothing between the two of you ever escalates that far because Coby manages to talk the two of you out of whatever tension has been built.

G-Guilt (what is the biggest thing they feel guilty about?)

It’s not necessarily guilt, but Coby still feels as though he owes Luffy his life. Because of Luffy, Coby was able to become a marine. It’s because of Luffy that Coby continues to work as hard as he does. Most of what has happened in Coby’s life is all thanks to Luffy and because of that, he feels as though he has a debt he can never repay (even though all of this happened because luffy was just being luffy).

H-Heartbreak (what would cause them pain in the relationship? How would they deal during a break-up?)

Having to be away from you for long periods of time (obviously because he’s a marine) is really painful for the both of you. It can but quite a bit of strain on your relationship as long distance isn’t easy.

During a break-up, his mind would be all over the show. At work, he wouldn’t be able to focus properly which would cause many problems for not only himself, but others around him too.

I-Injured (how would they react if you are badly injured?)

Panic mode: activated. All his focus is shifted to you. He forgets about everything around him and is set on trying to get you help. He doesn’t even try to take down whoever, or whatever, caused your injury. You are his one and only priority in that moment.

J-Jealousy (what do they do if they are jealous?)

The sweetheart would feel so nervous. He’d keep to himself and try to avoid you for a while because he can’t stop thinking about how much better off you would be with literally anyone else.

K-Kill (would they kill for revenge?)

Coby is definitely not the type to kill for revenge. He hates all the killing and death that happens in the world. He’s a person who is all about trying to stop the cycle of hatred. so despite the anger, pain and hurt he would be feeling he would put all of that emotion aside, and settle it a different way.

L-Loss (what is their greatest loss?)

During Marineford when marines (and pirates) were dying left and right, Coby was shocked. It was far too much unnecessary death. Witnessing all that death was an emotional overload, but it did lead to one of the most pivotal moments of his life.

M-Mistake (what is the worst mistake they ever made with you?)

Unfortunately, it was something entirely out of his control. But one time he had to leave for a mission with the Marines in the middle of the night. He couldn’t tell you anything about it or why he was leaving. He just had to up and leave.

N-Nightmares (how often do they have them? What are they about? How do they deal with it?)

Sometimes Coby has nightmares about Marineford. The constant voices and cries of agony form an endless loop in his sleep, gradually getting louder and louder until he screams himself awake. After waking up in a panic he manages to calm his breathing. Then, Coby gives himself a pep talk “that is why you’re working so hard. To become strong enough to be fleet admiral so nothing like that will ever happen again.”

O-Outrage (how and why would they get mad at you?)

As with the fights, I don’t think Coby really gets mad at you. Probably over something minor like you ate the last cookie or something. It’s not anger, he just gets pouty until you say you’ll make it up to him.

P-Past (what has happened in your relationship that changed the way you saw each other?)

Having to do your relationship long distance was a pivotal point for the both of you. For most, it can be a deal breaker and it comes with more negatives than positives. But, for the two of you, it was a wake-up call, and, it was the moment you both realized “I can’t live without you, we will make this work”.

Q-Quality (what is their most dangerous/toxic quality?)

I wouldn’t say this is dangerous or toxic idk (???) but ANWAYSSSSS. Coby lacks certainty in his own decisions. He’s not so bad now, but it used to be a lot worse. He second guesses himself too much, which can be the difference between life and death in a high pressure situation.

R-Rejection (how would they react to you rejecting their confession (or the other way around))

Being rejected by you would definitely impact his self-esteem. It’d bring up a lot of insecurities and feelings of inadequacy. (PLS DON’T REJECT THIS PRECIOUS BOY).

S-Scars (battle or self-inflicted)

Coby does have a scar on his head. It’s not entirely certain when or where he received this scar, but it’s likely to be from his rough training with Garp.

T-Trust (have they ever broken your trust?)

No, Coby has never broken your trust. In fact, your relationship is held up by the unwavering trust the two of you have in one another. It may seem funny to say that, because trust is a vital element of any relationship, but it’s particularly the case for you two. Being a marine means there’s going to be quite a few things he can’t tell you, but you know he can’t tell you and he really appreciates how much you understand that.

U-Urge (how badly do they want to see you after you guys separated?)

He’s had to learn to cope with not seeing you for long periods of time. But, despite all that practice it’s still unbelievably difficult. When he can, he’ll write you letters to keep you informed about his safety. He won’t ask, but he’d really appreciate if you wrote him back.

V-Vicious (what do they do when they lash out on you?)

I genuinely don’t believe he would lash out at you. He just wouldn’t. Maybe, he’s slammed a few doors, but other than that… (sorry I feel like this one is boring af ugh).

W-Weak (what makes them feel weak how do they try to avoid it?)

Coby always felt weak and incapable in his abilities. Sometimes those feelings resurface. But honestly, he trues to avoid this by remembering how and why he is where he is. He thinks of all the people who have helped him along the way (Luffy, Garp etc.) and it motivates him to push forward.

X-X-ray (what do they hate and show it most obviously?)

He hates needless violence. He understands in some situations violence is necessary, but, then there are some situations (like the end of marineford) where lives are being lost for no reason whatsoever.

Y-Yearn (what is one thing that they want but can’t have?)

He wants nothing more than to openly be BFF’s with Luffy. Given the two different worlds they live in, it’s just never going to happen, despite Luffy being a genuinely good person. (I KNOW THIS IS MEAN TO BE ANGSTY BUT I COULDN’T HELP IT LMFAO)

Z-Zero (what do they do/say in your dying moments?)

Oh boy. There would be endless amounts of tears. Through sniffles and snot, he’d be trying to thank you for everything you’ve done for him, all the love and support you’ve shown him.

[readingsbylibramc]

birth chart reading for @sunfiowershrooms

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋 chart shape, dominants

your chart is a splay shape, meaning that your planets are located randomly in different groups in your chart. people with this type of chart are usually very talented at different things. they can focus their attention on different matters, from family, to work, to love. everything is important for you, and you try to live your life to the fullest. you may be particularly talented at things that require action, it doesn’t matter whether it’s physical or mental. you may be very good at sports, dancing… or maybe you’re good at leading, you could easily be the boss on your work place. since you’re interested in so many things, you could easily be skilled at all of them to be honest. my advice would be to pick the hobby that is most important for you and care about it more than the others. that’s because people with this chart usually tend to do so many things that they may lack precision. it’s better to give all of yourself to what’s important for you.

your dominant planets are venus, jupiter and mercury. you are a very creative person, you may have an eye for aesthetics and you may enjoy the finer things in life, you probably enjoy shopping and following trends. you're also very smart, and you could be quite philosophical as well.

your dominant sign is libra. you're overall a peaceful person, you try to avoid conflicts if possible, even though sometimes you could have a sharp tongue. you're a romantic person, maybe too much. you hold unrealistic expectations of people, hence you often get disappointed when things don't turn out the way you thought. you're able to see both sides of an argument, and that's both good and bad. in fact, you're very objective, and most probably your opinions are right; yet, it may be annoying for people that are venting to you, as you could constantly point out their mistakes, even though you don't do it out of malice.

your dominant element is air. in your life, you adore seeking knowledge of any kind. you may be interested in studying different subjects, from those you study at school like science, maths, literature etc. to more unconventional ones, such as astrology, psychology, criminology and so on. you enjoy interacting with people; even if you’re not that sociable, you’ll still be interested in their point of view and their ideals, as you see it as a way to expand your own mind. you’re also interested in vintage, and you may have a retro aesthetic or just like history in general.

🌎 ascendant in sagittarius, 20° / 3rd decan ruled by jupiter and the sun

you see the world as an adventure. I feel like you typically don’t relate to sagittarius ascendant stereotypes; sag risings are usually very happy-go-lucky, they smile often, but pluto being conjunct to it may change things a bit. you’re more of a loner, you’re not as extroverted as other sagittariuses. you may relate more to scorpio rising, actually. ironically, you often look sad or angry. you have a knack for philosophy, and your favourite is most probably ‘you only live once’. you tame dying before making the amount of experiences you want to have in your life, hence you could even be impulsive sometimes. you’re the type to always be up to crack a joke or anything that can make you and others smile, yet when someone gets against you, it’s over for them. you have quite of a sharp tongue, you’re pretty blunt and straight-forward. in fact, you may often get in troubles due to your impulsiveness, which may be misunderstood. you have an incredible charm to you; it’s not like taurus’ or libra’s, those are more related to physical traits. sagittarius people, on the other hand, are surely very talented at something; maybe, at school you were one of the best students, and everyone recognized it and appreciated you for that; people understand your potential, and you may often receive compliments for your skills. basically, your personality is charismatic. due to pluto being conjunct the ascendant, I feel like you may even struggle too much with pessimism during your first years, but in case you are, you shouldn’t be. jupiter is also your dominant planet, and it’s willing to give you the best of luck if you respect its themes. hence, you need to have faith in the universe and be optimistic. try to look more at the positive sides in life and even in people. physically, sagittarius is all about abundance, hence you may have trouble losing weight. you could have big bones, or at least something bigger on your body that doesn’t make you look like a victoria’s secret’s model. you’re more on the thick side, in fact you probably have a pear/hourglass body shape, with wider hips and/or thick thighs and lower body in general. you could also have wide shoulders, and something big and memorable on your face as well. maybe you have a very distinctive nose, or perhaps your eyes are almond-shaped. your forehead and lips could be pretty wide as well. I’ve also noticed that sagittarius peers have a very lively sparkle in their eyes, even though they may be very dark. it’s like having two/three tiny diamonds at the centre of each of your eyes. last but not least, you may have sharp cheekbones and very dark features, such as dark hair or eyes.

sagittarius ascendant opposite gemini saturn: you may be shy and have self-esteem issues, especially during your early years. because of that, you may often appear as insecure to others, or even unreliable. you have a strong desire to be with someone and commit to them, you despise supertificial bonds, but at the same time you may find yourself being too shy to approach others, especially during your early years. this may apply more to the younger you, actually. you don't feel much comfortable around other people, and others can sense that; your insecurity is exposed to the world, and some may take advantage of that to hurt your feelings. you're afraid of being judged, whether it's for your appearance, or maybe because of your ideals or interests. hence, you end up becoming reserved. this is something that will be solved through growth and time; the older you get, the easier you'll be on yourself. also, thanks to this aspect, you're a responsible person with defined values. to cope with this placement, I'd suggest you to do what makes you feel the best. there are different ways to boost your self-esteem, so maybe you can work on that and then start expressing yourself freely; if you do it without the fear of being judged, you will shine even more.

sagittarius ascendant conjunct sagittarius pluto: this aspect enhances your scorpio rising even more. scorpio, combined with your scorpio sun and pisces moon, makes you look a little bit naive. people may try to take advantage of you, and to defend yourself you tend to become bossy. you’re really competitive, and feel the constant need to prove others’ wrong, even though it’s not the best way to do it. in your life, you could encounter lots of enemies that may try to stop you from transforming yourself. or maybe, your grandfather is an authoritative figure in your life and in your family’s in general, and his influence has a big impact on your life. also, something I’ve noticed about pluto conjunct ascendant individuals is that they may feel unhappy when they’re young. as time goes by, they transform and become as they want, which makes them feel more satisfied with themselves.

🌞 sun in scorpio, 3° / 1st decan ruled by pluto

you're quite of a loner, you prefer spending time alone rather than with others. you're extremely intuitive, and you can read people like a book; they can't lie or keep secrets from you, you'll surely find out. you're pretty charismatic, and paired with your wise intellect it's hard not to agree with your ideas, especially considering that your moon is in pisces. you're basically a leader, a very demanding one. you have high standards regarding everything: clothes, food, goals, people... you're always striving for the best, you don't want to settle down. on the other hand, even though it may take you a while to find someone worth of your affection, once that someone shows up you'll stay with them forever. you're deeply loyal, and also caring in your own way. that's because you value feelings, you can easily smell when someone isn't trustworthy. you're probably very protective of your friends and loved ones in general, sometimes even too much. this could even escalate and become a more serious issue, as scorpio is also the planet of obsession, after all. it's common for you to feel your emotions x2, as they're too intense to handle. you know everything about others, but you don't show off and gossip about it. actually, you keep the info for yourself and use it when you need it.

scorpio sun square capricorn mars: you’re extremely passionate about the things you love, you strive to be perfect at them, and your perfectionist, capricorn nature confirms this. this could make you quite competitive, as your capricorn mars wants to succeed and be always right. I feel like you don’t really enjoy being in the spotlight; you’d rather avoid conflicts, or at least not be the center of them. yet, sometimes it’s hard for you not be aggressive. I don’t think it happens often, but you can be very blunt and rude if someone truly gets on your nerves. this, paired up with your scorpio energy, makes you sort of dramatic. as long as you don’t react like this too often, I don’t think it’s a big issue though.

🌙 moon in pisces, 0° / 1st decan ruled by neptune

hands down my favourite moon sign! you're extremely empathetic and sensitive, you care a lot about others and you treat others' problems as if they were yours, you get totally immersed in them. you have quite a vivid imagination, you're able to idealize and picture anything you want. while this placement gives you an incredible amount of creativity, it can also make you uncomfortable. in fact, you may actually find yourself imagining every detail of every situation, even the worst ones. let's suppose you hear of a rape at the news; you literally start imagining the scene detail by detail, and it makes you extremely uncomfortable. actually, it literally ruins your mood, as it's as if you actually lived that scene. going back to the creativity matter, you have the soul of an artist; you have very enhanced emotions, and you're able to express them through artistic outlets. you could be amazing at writing poetry, books, art, music... also, your particular empathy of human's intellect can also make you an amazing psychologist or actress, as you're able to understand others' feelings and make them your own. you're extremely spiritual, and if you don't feel like that, you just have yet to have your spiritual awakening. you may be able to talk to spirits, for example, or perhaps you have very meaningful dreams. or maybe, you could literally predict the future through them. you're also most probably an avid daydreamer, you tend to get distracted easily because you're too busy thinking about random scenarios in your head. seriously, you could even make a movie out of them. you're also an hopeless romantic, and you dream of finding not just your spouse, but your literal soulmate. to make it simple, you want all of your daydreams to become reality.

🗣 mercury in libra, 15° / 2nd decan ruled by venus and uranus

you're very diplomatic! you always try to be nice and gentle with your words, you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. your tone of voice is extremely soft, sometimes it could even be hard to understand what you say, as you could naturally have a low voice. you're extremely balanced, you have amazing problem-solving skills as you're able to see both side of an argument. it's natural for you to understand what's right and what isn't, and most of the times you're actually right. when you're with someone you're not really close to, you could even be the accommodating type who allows others to speak over your voice, or maybe you let others speak first as a gesture of kindness. I feel like with your jupiter dominance you have very strong opinions, and you're actually particularly proud of them. luckily, this placement makes you able to communicate them with diplomacy. you could often get angry if someone tries to prove you wrong, but aside from that, you try to be very elegant and formal when you speak. you're probably not fond of cursing, or at least you try to appear as mannered as possible with people you're not comfortable around. last but not least, you're such a charismatic, smooth talker that you result very persuasive. you're able to trick people with your words, which appear very diplomatic and calm.

libra mercury conjunct libra venus: this placement confirms your struggles to open yourself to the world. you’re insecure that your thoughts and ideas may be judged negatively by others, hence you just bottle them up with your feelings. this aspect is mostly positive, though! you’re probably a good singer, or at least you have a very calm tone of voice that is pleasant to hear. you’re able to see both sides of an argument, hence you may be good at helping people making up. you could actually be suited for psychology! you may also earn money through your voice and thoughts, so you could be a writer, a journalist, an actress, a singer etc. this placement assures that you may be sociable, or at least that you have great social skills.

libra mercury square cancer jupiter: this placement emphasizes your intellect. your mind is so broad that you can come up with different theories and philosphies, making you a sort of genius. you're probably good at memorizing things, and you could even have a photographic memory. yet, with this aspect, you may have troubles being consistent with your ideas. you may overestimate your needs and thoughts; for example, you may promise yourself to get all As in maths, then you get tired and bored and you end up getting Cs. same goes for your handwriting, for example: you may start writing in the best way possible, then you get lazy and end up writing in a sloppy way just to take notes. you also overthink a lot, and that causes you self-esteem issues. on the other hand, you're very open-minded and objective, as you look at the big picture. you'd do very well as a journalist, for example, or perhaps also as a judge of any kind. you may also be naturally skilled at foreign languages, you can mimic accents pretty well. you're probably also very poetic and / or wise, you're like a teacher for your friends.

❤️ venus in libra, 13° / 2nd decan ruled by venus and uranus

love this placement! you're very romantic: you're not looking for a partner, you're looking for a whole disney prince. you do care about looks when choosing a lover, but not necessarily a conventionally beautiful person. they have to appear perfect to your eyes, and this usually depends on the way they treat you. in fact, you despise vulgar, rude people. people that act like that immediately become unattractive to you. you're also very picky, exactly because you're looking for the perfect lover. you're probably the type to cry at movies. you're also quite of a cliche; you're into roses, romantic dinners, sunsets... anything romantic that you hear about in fairytales. the problem with this placement is that you may overestimate the people you frequent, ending up having different expectations from reality.

libra venus square cancer jupiter: you come off as a very positive, happy-go-lucky person. you're extremely friendly, and this makes you be good at social relationships. you may have lots of friends, or at least you have the potential to make many if you opened up and talked to them. yet, while this energy gives you positive vibes, some people may take advantage of that, as you could easily be mistaken for naive. people can try to dominate you unconsciously (sometimes even on purpose) not only in relationships but even in friendships. aside from that, I don't think this placement causes you many problems. you may have the tendency to procrastinate and not work. you could be quite lazy and get easily distracted, as you're constantly with your head in the cloud. yet, thanks to your capricorn energy, you still manage to find some motivation to do your work.

☄️ mars in capricorn, 29° / 3rd decan ruled by saturn and mercury

you can get scary when you want, especially with your impulsive jupiter dominance. you're a serious competitor, as your mind is very strategic. your ambition makes you want to be the best wherever you are, and you may actually overwork yourself to achieve your goals. establishing your status is important for you. you may not be the type to act instantly, you prefer taking your time to follow a plan. in fact, you probably write down what you have to do in an agenda, or even in your phone's notes app. you have this strong sense of duty, as you feel 100% responsible of your fate. you're sure that, if you don't work hard, you don't deserve success and recognition. in fact, you don't take orders from others, you are your own boss. you could have materialistic tendencies, as wealth is what motivates you the most to work or just take action in general. you may often experience burnouts, as capricorn, especially in mars, brings intense workaholic tendencies.

🏡 houses

your 1st house is in sagittarius. your relationship with your image could be quite complicated; chiron here points out that you’re quite insecure about the way you look. you may struggle with your self-image often, and you may even have a physical scar somewhere on your body or face. pluto conjunct the first house also gives you a very bold, strong presence, and hence you may be even intimidating. yet, you’re also extremely magnetic and charismatic, maybe even sexy. I assume that you struggle to fully embrace your potential, though. especially during your early years, you had a fluctuating self-esteem. you used to find yourself weird and ugly, you didn’t love yourself. luckily, if you work hard on your mentality you'll start being way more optimistic, and as a result you'll be more confident in yourself as well.

your 2nd house is in capricorn, with also neptune, mars, the moon and uranus sitting in this house together. your relationship with money may not be totally stable; you may get distracted easily, and you could lose your money around. you could be quite messy, overall, or in general, this is usually a placement that indicates sudden money loss. this placement also confirms that your self-esteem isn’t stable either; you could be quite insecure, and you may idealize a lot the way you look. for example, you could think that you have an ugly nose when it’s actually the opposite. same goes for your belongings; you may think that you have saved loads of money, you spend them, and then you realize you didn’t really have much. regarding your self-esteem, your imagination and your creativity could surely make you feel better. you may have an artistic hobby, such as acting, drawing, etc. that could earn you compliments and praise, and hence it increases your sense of worth. you could also increase your self-esteem by taking pictures or videos of yourself, for instance. you love challenging your mind, but you're kind of lazy. you'd rather stimulate yourself through your hobbies and interests rather than using school / work, which are quite stressful for you. you need to find something material and concrete to motivate you and make you assertive. you could study just because you need a good grade, or maybe work just to get paid. you don't really do it with interest, as you care more about nurturing your passions than responsibilities. you're not really into conflicts; you'd rather be peaceful with everyone, as you find it a waste time to argue with someone. you're very peaceful, you try to avoid conflicts when you can. this placement makes you crave stability, whether it's financial, in love etc. you must be very stubborn, as taurus is a fixed sign. this placement, paired with your imaginative water energy, makes you settle on making your ideas concrete, and it's very beneficial. it makes you capable of achieving any goals in your life. you're also very artsy, and you may fancy particular art styles. you have a good eye for aesthetics, and you care a lot about the looks of your house, body, clothes etc. you have excellent concentration, and that is another thing that helps you achieve your goals and make your ideas concrete.

your 3rd house is in the sign of pisces. when it comes to speech, you’re most likely more introspective. you may not be much talkative, and most of the time you keep your ideas and thoughts to yourself, but actually it's hard for you to hide them. you may be secretive, but you're easy to read. you learn the best when you’re close to creativity or imagination, you’re very intuitive and hence it's easier for you to learn new topics. while you're very empathetic and you're able to properly convey your thoughts and feelings in your speech, you may also come off as sensitive or even insecure. you may have a quiet voice, and hence you could come off as shy. since neptune, the ruler of this house, is in the 2nd house, I assume that the best way to deal with this issue is gaining more self-esteem. you may be introverted due to your insecurity, and hence dealing with it will be crucial for you to solve this karmic lesson.

your 4th house is in aries. while outside you may appear as very polite, when you feel comfortable you actually become way more fiery. you’re very impulsive in your home environment, you could have actually been some sort of warrior. maybe you used to argue a lot with your parents, perhaps because they were too overprotective. it wasn’t totally peaceful, there were a few events that made you hold a grudge, maybe even subconsciously. it might be regarding a family member, or even a childhood mate. during your childhood, you weren’t much sad, though. it could be that your home environment was a bit intense at times, or maybe one of your parents is absent, emotionally or physically, but it was nothing too serious, as your mars isn't bad aspected at all.

your 5th house is in taurus. you are a very creative, artistic person. you’re able to relax by watching netflix, eating, writing, painting… anything that can be done at home. you’re not the type to hang out too often or party all night, you’re more of a homebody. you could also love sleeping in, just being able to stay in bed all day wearing comfy clothes is a vacation for you. you probably had to grow up sooner than others kids, you seemed much more serious and mature than them. but remember, while this placement gives you a strong sense of duty, it’s also important to nurture your creativity, especially since your placements indicate that you have a very strong imagination. in fact, I see you earning money thanks to your big dreams, you could surely be successful in a creative or artistic career. you could work behind the scenes, you could be a graphic designer, a photographer, a videomaker, a screenwriter, or you may even be a celebrity of any kind. you could also work in the beauty field, such as a mua, a hairdresser or as a stylist.

your 6th house is in gemini, with also saturn placed in this house. in your daily routine, especially at work, you have to communicate a lot. you come in contact with lots of people, or maybe you write stuff like blogs or books. generally, you have a very hectic schedule, as you have different hobbies and appointments that you can’t abandon. your ideal career has to include something that allows you to express your personal taste, ideas and interests. in this way, it won’t feel too heavy to you, and you’ll find pleasure in working. you probably thrive from being efficient not just at work, but also in your daily routine; you probably like having a schedule, a routine of any kind (like a diet or a skincare routine for example). with saturn here you could also be quite delicate , you may get sick easily and you could suffer from anxiety and any kind of throat/breathing disease. you may also have problems with your arms and hands.

your 7th house is in gemini, with also your jupiter sitting there. in a partner, you seek someone intelligent that is able to keep up with your rhythm. you don’t have time to nurture someone, you want them to fully understand you. in fact, you may be more attracted to older partners, as they’re supposed to be more mature. I don’t see many issues arising in your marriage life, it will probably be very peaceful, but it may take you a while to find someone you like. you’re a picky person when it comes to love, you want someone hard-working and responsible with a big brain, yet they should also be quite outgoing and funny. you need mental stimulation, someone that is a constant adventure for you and that is worth exploring. you may meet your future spouse at work, according to your chart. otherwise, you could meet them in a bank, in a restaurant, at a concert, at the mall… also, they could help you gaining more confidence in yourself. there's also a high chance that they're going to be foreign, you may meet abroad or perhaps they're going to travel to your country. you may be a people pleaser but you're overall a very romantic individual.

your 8th house is in cancer. you are a very private individual, you have trust issues and you only share your concerns with people you're sure you can trust. you tend to preserve yourself, even though it’s hard for you to repress your emotions, as they’re too to intense to bottle them up. you absorb people’s feelings like a sponge, there’s no way that you won’t instantly understand their real emotions. overall, you tend to overreact a lot; you have cancer's sensitive energy on one side and 8th house’s mysterious, almost scary vibe. dealing with these emotional burnouts may be stressing to you, as you totally get caught up in them. even if it looks like you get to know other people often, you actually don’t let others know you. you’re the type of person to talk and socialize, especially after your saturn return, but you never reveal your deepest fears and thoughts to strangers. you only open up to people you’re sure you can trust. when you’re angry, you can literally go as far as using violence; you need to let out your emotions by screaming, swearing… anything that can make you feel better. when you don’t get rid of all your negative vibes when angry, you may tend to get physically sick; you could get stomachaches, or maybe even headaches. there’s a secret, sensitive side in you that needs passionate and romantic partners in love. yet, you can’t help but feel more attracted to the ones that may hurt you badly. you’re possibly quite sensitive to entities too, like ghosts, spirits...

your 9th house is in virgo. you have a practical approach to philosophy and your thoughts in general. that is, you’re able to grasp a lot of information that makes you think more on your identity. you’re interested in psychology, and that explains why you decided to get your chart read after all. you were a perfectionist at school, and you probably had amazing grades. you are very justice-driven, you like learning new stuff and being the #1 at pretty much everything you care about. yet, you could be quite bossy at times, as you could come off as a bit too arrogant but you're just very dedicated. the ruler of the 9th house is in the 10th house: you could attract people in your life that are foreign, or perhaps open-minded people that are able to speak more than one language or are bicultural. this placement also indicates that you'll most likely get to work abroad, or perhaps you'll come in contact with people from all over the world, therefore you may have to speak another language or deal with new cultures.

your 10th house is in libra, with also your sun, mercury and venus. you have an eye for aesthetics, and you want to have a reputation for looking classy and mannered. basically a lady, but that knows how to stand up for himself. in your ideal career you need something that makes you express your need for beauty, possibly even justice. you may have a passion for poetry and literature in general, or maybe you could be particularly skilled at fashion. you have a natural talent to match colours with undertones, body shapes, vibes etc., and you could make this particular ability of yours a job. you’re also a charismatic, strong-willed speaker, hence you could also do well as a lawyer, a politician, an activist etc. your ideal career involves arts and aesthetics. you could become an artist, a writer, a poet, an actress, an interior designer, a stylist… this type of things. also, your career and indipendence are most likely to boost your self-esteem. in addition, you may also be able to get very well-paid, you could even be in the spotlight or famous.

your 11th house is in scorpio. you are extremely picky with your friends. you have a few trust issues, probably caused by your karmic issues again, that make you secretive around your friends. you may close yourself in your shell, or maybe you actually know a lot of people, yet you only consider a few of them your friends. most of the time, you may also befriend people that try to take advantage of you. or perhaps, since there’s a possibility that you understand that, you could be the one who leads the group and acts quite bossy. this is something that gets naturally better with time; actually, your friends will be of great help for you to grow up. you may have big dreams for your future, yet you may feel intimidated as they’re very intense, and hence hard to make come true. you need to pay your karmic debts in order to finally feel comfortable with others and have the motivation to achieve your long-term goals.

your 12th house is in sagittarius, with also pluto sitting in this house. you’re particularly interested in religion and higher beliefs, hence meditation would be effective for you. yet, you need to get enough sleep, or you could not be able to fully embrace the spirituality of this placement. you may also be able to have prophetic dreams, or at least they have a strong moral beyond them. venus in this house indicates that you may daydream about the perfect romance. you have strong ideals, you're a very fair person and you expect a lot from people, but you may sometimes be let down from others because of these high standards of yours. you most probably prefer being alone in your free time. you may be introverted, and hence you're surely not the type to attend parties or clubs. you may also have spiritual hobbies, such as yoga, meditation, astrology, tarots, religion, etc.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love, you attract sagittarius, taurus, virgo, gemini and leo placements. your future spouse will most probably have virgo and leo placements, hence they’ll be very smart, patient and confident, but also very intelligent and a bit selfish. it may be love at first sight, and you may find them very attractive. you could meet them at work or most certainly abroad, there are many indicators in your chart of a foreign spouse. perhaps you could meet them during a vacation, or maybe in any kind of context where you need to speak another language. they may also be your soulmate, and you may dream of them often. your children are most likely going to have taurus placements, therefore they'll be very creative and affectionate, even though quite stubborn and materialistic.

👶🏻 family life

your mother is a very fiery, impulsive person, with a short-temper. she could have even been quite violent with you during your childhood, and she might have a few childish behaviours. deep down, she’s actually kind of insecure with her role as a mother. she may have aries, libra, scorpio or pisces placements in her chart. your father, on the other hand, is more submissive. he’s a peaceful person, even though he most probably has a passive-aggressive behaviour. you could actually have a better relationship with him rather than with your mother, or at least he understands your needs better. he may have libra, leo, virgo, gemini, aries or taurus placements in his chart. if you have siblings, they most probably have aries, pisces, cancer or aquarius placements in their chart. you may have an amazing relationship with them, you may understand each other very deeply and your bond could be quite emotional, even though you may argue from time to time.

📊 career

you could do well at a variety of jobs to be honest! with your gemini in the 6th house you could actually work in different fields before sticking to one career, hence you’re pretty experienced. I certainly see you being successful in your career, you will most likely work alone and you'll most likely be a boss. you're very hard-working, so I can see you having your own business for example. otherwise, you may also do well in an aesthetic field, or even more practical jobs like lawyer, judge, possibly also a therapist or psychologist. and again, you may work abroad, so maybe as a translator, as a teacher etc. you would also make a great singer, actress, writer, model, photographer... you'll basically get to communicate something in an artistic, creative way.

👚 fashion sense, style analysis

you’re very traditional about your clothes, maybe even basic. you’re the type to have lots of essential clothes in your wardrobe, e.g a white shirt, white t-shirt, jeans etc. you love wearing sophisticated, elegant fits. for example, you may be fond of wide leg jeans, or maybe flare trousers, boatneck sweaters, tiny jewellery… things like that, that are always a must have. you may fancy pastel colors, or even neutral shades like black, white, grey, beige etc. you’re also the type to follow fashion trends.

👁 past life, life purpose

in your past life, the focus was on yourself. maybe, you had troubles with self-esteem and identity in general. you had to work hard and finally understand who you were to fulfill your past life purpose. hence, this lifetime your focus will be on the bonds you create with others. even though at first you might feel almost scared to the idea of marriage, especially having mars in the 7th house, this lifetime you're here to develop this matter. after all, you may despise love for your troubled past. with your north node in the 7th house, you're naturally lucky in love. there's nothing to be afraid of, you only need to take small steps and open your heart to someone, putting your worries and insecurities aside.

🤔 major transits analysis / june 21st

last year was probably very rough for you. at least, you’re finally discovering the truth about who you are; you’re finally learning how to love yourself for who you are, without having to change. by the next year, you should be able to feel much more comfortable and confident. even though you may still face some hardships, don’t give up. you’ll come out of it as a stronger person. also, transit uranus in your 4th house is currently opposing your sun in the 10th house. there may be unfortunate and unpredictable events in your family environment, or maybe even regarding your physical house or privacy so beware of that.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

with your water placements, you probably have a 6th sense. you’re able to manifest what you want if you subconsciously predict it, even though it may be hard. you’d have to get in touch with your higher self to do so, and hence I would suggest you to light up some candles and meditate for a bit before manifesting, in this way it will be way more effective. you may manifest something while daydreaming, for example. or perhaps, you can also try listening to your own affirmations while you sleep, as you won’t be consciously aware of that. it’s probably the most effective way.

and this is it! thank you again for booking a reading, hope it resonated with you :)

[darksiders-scenarios]

Welcome back love, I would love you see your take on yandere horsemen (which honestly sounds like the most terrifying thing ever).

Thank you <3 I tried my best, it was indeed a challenge to write therefore I don’t think they’ve come out as terrifying as should be expected xD Forgive the broken english, as always! 

Trigger warning. 

-

Death

His obsession became cemented after his sacrifice. His consciousness broke, shred by shred along with the last vestiges of his sanity crumbling to meld with the churning ragefire of the Well of Souls. Amidst the sea of chaos, souls flaring around and pouring inside him, only yours shone the brightest from afar, like a sacred star. He felt your emotional loss, your pain, your despair, your love for him, unrestrained and pure - like the sweetest wine, like the most refreshing breeze, like the- the- he... he couldn't explain the sheer intensity of his euphoria at that moment. He chased it, seeking it, grasping it by the fingertips until the very end. In his last moments of mortality, he knew then what he had been missing his entire life. And he would not make that same mistake upon his rebirth.

You are revered as the saviour of humanity, a symbol of hope. Monuments are erected in your honour. You are the centre of attention. Attention. Attention. Attention.  

Of course, this “misunderstanding” is not your fault. However, you are human, therefore you are not without flaws. You can be stolen from him. Harsh tremors rack Death’s body. You can love another. He forces back the bile that rises in this throat.

He pines for your flesh, for your attention. You always catch him staring at you with something akin to rapture.

Death casts himself as the saviour - reminding you that it is through him that your people are restored. Your survivor's guilt drives you to submit to his directives, which in turn fuels his sense of supremacy.

He makes flattering statements in exaggerated terms, an emotional bribe to win your favours, or he makes subtle veiled hostile jokes at your insecurities to solidify his power over you.

He seals away your memories of your relationships with your loved ones so that you will devote all your attention to him and him alone.

Dust stalks your every move without your notice, monitoring your actions and relaying back to his master; who you've been seen in the company of, who makes you smile, who makes you sad, who looks at you in that way.

Nothing gets past Death’s attention.

His fantasies twist and evolve, and every time they leave him breathless with hope. He dreams of a race cowed into obedience, or a world wiped clean of said race until you are the only one that remains, for him.

For now, he settles on wiping clean of anyone that poses a threat to their sacred relationship. Torturing his victims in ways that transcend human concept; every torture more horrific than its predecessor, never giving his victims an explanation when they wake up horrified, chained in a dungeon.

They know exactly what they are being punished for.

After he’s had his way with them, Death would let his essence skim against the naked vulnerability of their souls, a pseudo-gentle brush, as though a long lost friend reaching to them, ensuring the dimmest flicker of hope is present, before clawing it apart into nothingness. Their agonies are sublime.

Finally, Death impales their naked, dismembered bodies on poles around the city, as though a grotesque art exhibition, but more importantly, as a warning.

Everything gets past your attention.

War

Shackled for a century, isolated from his siblings, powerless when his name was being slandered across creation and helpless when his honour was being brutally tarnished... But you have always stood by his side, unwavering in your loyalty and adamantly professing his innocence at every wake and turn. War found his sanctuary in you, his home and solace. His obsession rose to the fore and he clings to you as his emotional crutch, snarling at anyone who dares show a minute interest in you. You will not be stolen from him. He will not be abandoned anymore, betrayed anymore. You are his saviour, and he will protect you for as long as he lives. 

Something stirs within him whenever you look at him, his entire core bristling with excitement; from your smiles, from your touches, from… you.

He stares at you for an unbearably long time when you are sleeping or showering, soaking in the sight of you in undisguised pleasure.

Soon he isolates you from your family and is extremely controlling of your social circle. Whenever he sees you in the company of another, War glares at you in warning, aiming a silent threat in your direction.

He has delusions of your infidelity and he is often questioning and directly accusing you of the act. He becomes highly aggressive and hostile when you challenge him on the validity of his narratives.

Until you become so worn out by the constant attacks and coercion and you attempt to retaliate, to make him see the error of his ways.  

This leads War to tripling his attacks in the hopes that intimidation will beat you into submission. Can’t you see that he is trying to protect you? Can’t you see the Creator cares nothing for you, for being the reason for your plight? Can’t you see that you need him? Can’t you see how much he loves you?

War is trembling with rage and he focuses his wrath onto his victims, throwing withering glares at their backs.

War gives into the carnal urge and soon enough the air is saturated in burning flesh, blood and fear. 

He feels a surge of adrenaline rush and his palpitating heartbeats as his victims sob in desperation beneath his oppressive bulk, having beaten to the point of worthlessness.  

He flays the skins of their faces once he's done with them, adding them to the collection of leathery mementos on his shoulder guards, inwardly smirking as he recalls Strife's quip. 

Then he gifts you with the brutalised corpses, to torture at your own leisure as a show of care and affection.

He loves you.

So much.

Can’t you see?

Strife

You... listened. Never once cowering in fear or cringing in disgust. You listened and listened, and listened, never once interrupting him as he poured his heart out through wavering voice and hitched breaths. When he finished, he looked at you. You smiled softly, lovingly. And just like that, the burden that had been crushing Strife all these millennia lifted a great deal in the time it took to blink. He immediately choked on a sob, the irresistible urge to break and cry in front of you. You listened to his confession and you never judged him. A confession that even War will never know, despite Strife's “promise”. He was never a religious being, although, in that moment, Strife swore that he's found his saint in you.  

He dwells on your words every moment of his breathing existence, his mind conjuring up elaborate eccentric fantasies about you. You are flawless.

He never stops yearning for your attention, his heart whining for your heady proximity, his mind drowning in delicious ecstasy. He will do everything to keep you. His love. His life.

His.

Excessive hoarding of your "leftovers": the sand in your shoes, your shredded, discarded clothes, the broken tooth that got knocked out during a fight, clumps of your hair, clipped nails, that piece of charred flesh from that time- everything preserved in his miniature portable shrine.  

His lips murmuring prayers of gratitude.

He utilises love bombing and makes extravagant displays of affection.

Strife has a deep-seated fear of rejection and ruminates over any perceived slights and is highly sensitive to criticism. If he is challenged, Strife threatens abandonment or… more extremely, suicide.

Nothing pisses him off more than you hanging out with your friends when your attention should be devoted to him. Why can't you understand how selfish you’re being?

He jokingly refers to himself as your stalker to them.

And goes as far as to manipulate your potential interests, drugging and kidnapping them. Brutality and savagery flow in the Nephilim veins, yet Strife prefers the more tactical method. You would prefer that.

It merely takes his practiced flirtatious smiles to get his victims head over heels for him. Humans are stupidly predictable. He'd let things escalate from there until he is pinning them down naked and wanton and utterly vulnerable. He feels nothing but revulsion in its purest form at the sensation of skin against skin. Moments later, he would remove his blood-slicked hand from their throat, staring into their eyes as they stare unblinkingly back at his.  

He hates humans because humans have no idea how lucky they are.

He sinks into a deep depression when you withdraw from him, tired of his abuse, and he engages in frequent bouts of self-flagellation.

His mind keeps dwelling on you. On your words. Your smile. Your-

Strife cries out in sheer grief and gratitude, screaming himself hoarse and fatigued, a primal cry of desperation, a plea for your mercy.

Fury

Her attachment to you deepened profoundly after the loss of her beloved Rampage. The onslaught of emotions overwhelmed her, consumed by her desire for revenge until she was barely clinging to sanity by a hair's breadth. She remembers the uncontrollable shiver that ran through her when you brushed loose locks from her wet cheeks with your gentle fingers, the withdrawal making her knees almost give away. Your unique ability to see past the obvious, and patiently supporting her through her grief. You became her light. And she will ensure that you will never be extinguished.  

She watches you with barely suppressed adoration and longing. Almost all her waking moments are spent fantasising about you.

She is excessively focused on you and everything that you're doing: who you're talking to, how your day is going, what you need, your reactions to her. 

A sliver of your skin is enough to make her head spin and she adopts voyeuristic tendencies; you are unsuspecting when she is spying on you in the shower or when you are undressing. When she is caught, she disguises it as merely accidental.

She jerks into wakefulness, shaking controllably from ecstasy.

She is insanely jealous of potential romantic suitors or competition for you, even if it is imaginary. She is hellbent on getting rid of them out of your life. 

The belief that mortals are equally lustful of you stems from the poisonous roots of envy.

A single teardrop is enough for a whole city to burn under Fury’s wrath.

She strategically isolates you from your family, limiting your interactions with your friends and the wider community through weaponising drama by spreading false rumors. 

She constantly deploys demagoguery tactics to establish an authoritarian position in your relationship.  

Once you tried to escape and Fury reacted in a blind panic; the next thing she knew, you were slumped halfway off the chair, unconscious. She watched you for a very long time, unable to contain the hot desire coiling in her stomach. You were so beautiful.

When you came to, you had a collar grafted directly around your neck – a blatant symbol of Fury's ownership of you.  

You gave in. Besides, who could you turn to?  

[littledreamybeth]

Leaving you

A/N: This is bullshit... I really should stop writing forever... But you decide so here we go... sorry for any kinds of mistakes...

Summary: Harry’s public life becomes to much for Y/N

All my life I had been the one who’s heart got broken every damn time, but never had I imagined that one day I would be the one to break someone else’s heart. Especially if that person didn’t do anything severe.

Especially if that person was Harry Styles; the kindest, loveliest and the most amazing person I’ve ever met and had been with.

When I chose to date him, but I hadn’t expected to feel miserable as I was doing now.

I’ve really thought I was capable of enduring all the hardships that our relation and Harry’s public life brought along, however, I came to conclusion that I had been terribly mistaken and had totally underestimated myself. The constant hate plus cyberbullying, the paparazzi being hot on my heels for 24/7 straight and thousands of cheating rumors circling around on tabloids about my boyfriend apparently meeting another hot super model behind my back- all of these incidents just overweighed my mental capacity and added even more fuel to the fire, namely; my fucked up insecurities. This heavy burden was more than I could ever handle or carry on my shoulders.

Unfortunately, I had to choose. It was either my mental health, which was far more important to me than anything else at the moment because I was almost at the verge of going insane, or my relationship with Harry that would keep me unhappy. It’s not that I didn’t love him; I’ve given my heart to him bits by bits, sacrificing everything that I had left only to receive his love and to hold his heart in my hands. Now, I realized how badly the consequences influenced me.

It had never occurred to me that I would suffer so severely under our relationship.

I had been always someone with major insecurities and after starting to date Harry, they didn’t get any better. I thought perhaps he could help me to defeat them so I could change into the strong young woman that I had dreamed of being. A young woman who loved herself the way she was. I was still far away from that destination.

Additionally, to my fucked up self, I started to develop paranoia thanks to damn paparazzi. There had been no moment in which I could step out of my house-somebody found where I lived unfortunately- without being bombarded with thousands of questions. I wasn’t even the famous one, so why following me around?

Also, the rumors about Harry added some trust issues and who would ever want a girlfriend who thought you would cheat on her whenever you went out with your female friends? Harry didn’t deserve such a girlfriend like me.

I tried to explain my problem, hoping he would comprehend the issue and why I had chosen to break up.

But Harry didn’t take it positively at all.

We were standing in the middle of my living room, his tall frame hovering over mine, making me feel small.

“You’re leaving me? Why?”

I articulate with the correct words so he wouldn’t be offended at the end. It wasn’t his fault anyway. “Everything is getting too much recently, Harry. I don’t think I can handle it. I’m not feeling well at all.”

“If that’s so we can get you professional help, how about that? I can arrange a meeting with the best therapist in London?” He tried to compromise. I could see panic being reflected in his green orbs. The fear of losing me.

“I don’t think it will help. Harry, it’s not that what I want.”

He looked at me confused.

“What is it then?”

I sighed, “I need a break from your public life. I know we’ve been together for a long while, but I still haven’t got used to it and I’m sorry that it took me so long to tell you. I thought could get accustomed to everything, but I didn’t. I want my private life back. I want to live in peace.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way, love. Maybe we could leave until you feel better then?”

“Mental health conditions do not change overnight, Harry.”

“What do you want me to do, then?”

“Nothing,” I said, although it was quite obvious what I intended with this conversation.

“You’re very eager to get rid of me, aren’t ya?” His voice, which once held a soft undertone whenever he would speak, sounded so poisonous and unfamiliar in a sudden, I couldn’t recognize it at all. For a moment, it felt like as if a stranger that I’ve never met or heard before was talking to me and not my loving boyfriend. When I dared to look into his eyes with the last ounce of courage I had, a shudder went through my body from head to toe because I could clearly see the anger fuming behind his usually gentle green orbs. They were emitting complete darkness, making me feel little under his piercing gaze. Not being able to withstand the eye contact any longer, my glance fell down to his hands which he had so tightly fisted into two balls, I practically saw his knuckles turning very white. He flared his nostrils. His chest heaved strongly with every intake of breath. I knew he tried to stay calm, but despite his attempts, he was going to explode soon and if that happened, oh lord, you had to run as far as you could and search for a hiding place.

Harry was unrecognizable when he was mad. Dangerous even. But he would never raise his hand against me. At least that’s what I was hoping.

“You can’t wait to leave me.”

I shook my head unbelievingly, gaping at him. Although I was freaking scared, I still tried to hold my ground. “That’s not true, Harry. You know that. Stop twisting my words so you have a reason to be angered.”

He snorted. “I have a fucking reason to be mad. You’re leaving me and act like as if it wasn’t a big deal to you. So, excuse me miss if I’m getting upset at you for making me feel unworthy to your standards.”

“Standards? What in god’s name are you talking about?! I gave you a fucking valid reason why I chose to end things with you and all you gathered from what I’ve said is this? I never claimed you were being unworthy, I just stated that I don’t think I can keep up with your life anymore. It is affecting my mental health, don’t you get it? I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, and I have no privacy, for fucks sake. There is no day in which I’m not followed around by rude people showing their cameras into my face because they need some new headlines to gossip about. The majority of your fandom hates me, and I can’t even walk on the streets without fearing of being attacked. People call me ugly, they call me fat and unfitting for you. So, for the love of god, show some understanding! Stop making everything about you!” Another wave of tears was brimming my eyes. I was so tired of crying.

I really hoped I had spoken some sense into his stubborn mind, but unfortunately my speech had achieved the exact opposite reaction than I was expecting. Instead, things started to escalate.

“About me?!”

A loud bang echoed through the entire room. My wall had a dent.

“I’ve told you before!” Harry yelled. I was sure the entire building was able to hear him by now. His outburst made me flinch and back away a few steps in fright.

“I’ve told you exactly what you’d get yourself into if you chose to be with me and do you want me to remind you of what you answered back then?! You said you could handle it! It was you who said that as long as we have each other, our love would overcome everything! You fucking promised me my life was not a bother to you, you assured me that you wouldn’t run away like the ones I’ve dated before you because there was no way that you were like them. You promised to stay!! Look at you now; you prove that you’re no different than anybody else I was with!”

He was right. He was completely in the right and I couldn’t blame him for that.

“I know…” I whispered underneath my breath.

Harry groaned and went back and forth, his fingers grasping his chocolate curls so tightly, I feared he was going to rip them off his skull. Anguish was written all across his face.

“Fuck!” he screamed. The next time I looked at him, he was on the ground.

“Love, please,” he begged on his knees, his glossy eyes staring into my soul, “I’m ready to give up anything for you if you stay. Ask me anything you want, and you’ll have it, I promise. You’re the reason why life is getting easier for me every day. You give me a little bit of normality at times where I feel so out of place, as if I didn’t belong to anywhere in this world. I’m so sick of people seeing me as the Harry Styles. I’m sick of people putting me up on a pedestal or using me. I hate hiding a part of me in fear that I might get criticized. You, however, you see the real me. You don’t judge me but embrace who I am. You accept me. Please, I need you or I will lose myself. You’re my guardian angel that I need to keep.”

He slung his arms around my legs, hugging them so tightly that I couldn’t move from my spot. His desperate cries rang through my ear drums and found their way down to my heart, cutting it into two halves. My lungs burned from the lack of air. I just noticed now that I had stopped breathing. I was incredibly conflicted. I knew leaving him would make things less complicated for me than staying.

As selfish as it sounded and no matter how much I loved him, I had to improve my mental condition and focus on myself before I invested anything into our relationship again. My well-being was what mattered the most. Call me a fucking bitch for breaking Harry’s heart but believe me when I tell you that dumping him was the hardest challenge I’ve ever been through.

“Harry…” I sighed, trying to pry off his arms from my legs, “you know I can’t. I’m wasn’t made for this public life.”

I gazed down at him. Shoulders hanging low, his head pointing to the ground and his legs crossed, he sat there in a deafening silence. The tension between us made me a dizzy a lot. I took this short moment of quietness to gather my thoughts and to plan the next steps in my head.

And then, Harry’s voice reverberated through the room.

“If I leave through that door, this is it,” he said without any emotion behind his words. His dull and tired eyes met mine. Raising his arm, he pointed at the front door. “If I leave through that door, I won’t come back, and you will never see me again. I’ll cut you out of my heart. So, choose wisely, Y/N because there are no second chances.”

I tried to swallow the big fat lump that had developed in my throat, blinking away the tears in my eyes. My voice wavered as I answered, “Maybe that’s the best for us.” I avoided looking at him in the eyes, but I knew I had destroyed the last remains of hope that was left in them.

Why did my heart feel so heavy? It was better for him if he dated someone who was in his league, wasn’t it? Someone who didn’t mind changing their private life for a public one. Someone who was stronger than me.

Harry choked out a few heavy sobs before he raised up from his spot and faced me. The image of this broken man in front of me would haunt me forever.

We shared no words, no physical affection, no ‘I love you’s, nor did we bid each other farewell. We were just staring at each other. Maybe this was the perfect final opportunity to memorize every single detail of him. To engrave how he looked like up close. To imprint the shape of his lips, the size of his nose, his dimple and the twinkle of his beautiful green irises. However, he gave me no time to do such because, before I could even blink, he was already headed to the front door.

He turned to me for the very last time. His hand searched for something in his pocket, and suddenly something landed in front of my feet with a loud thud.

My eyes widened as I caught a glimpse of the foreign object. The world around me was spinning, and it gave me the terrible urge to throw up. It couldn’t be! With trembly fingers, I picked up the dark velvet box.

“You know, when I came here, I really thought I would leave this apartment with a smile on my face, knowing that you’d become my future wife,” Harry commented, the bitter tone of his voice couldn’t be overheard. “Instead, I’m leaving with a broken heart and shattered hopes. Congratulations, you have what you wanted.”

The door fell shut and he was gone.

I was frozen like a statue, couldn’t do anything but to stare at the velvet box in my hand. My insides were churning as I opened the lid and discovered a gorgeous diamond ring hiding underneath that took my breath away. It sparkled wonderfully in the light.

I saw the effort behind it, knowing exactly that Harry had trudged from one jeweler’s shop to the next because he was a very picky person who just wanted to find the perfect ring he could propose with. I saw the disappointment attached on his face every time when he found none but also excitement when he finally did. I saw the large smile decorating his lips when he admired the ring and when he said, “That’s the one.”

Placing the ring in the middle of my palm, I could feel how it burned and pierced through my skin. I couldn’t even look at it properly, not only because my vision was completely blurred by my tears, no, also because the ring was mocking me. I had been so determined to end my relationship with the man I could’ve called mine for the rest of my life, but now I was ashamed. Guilt swarmed through my body. My heart was under fire, paining, aching, bleeding. I landed on my knees and cried and cried and cried.

I could only hope that my decision was worth crushing the unique heart that I once held in between my hands.

 Harry

The small metal object felt incredibly heavy in my hand. My head couldn’t really process that I was going to do what I had planned the moment I had exited her apartment. Y/N’s and I’s breakup had left severe injuries that hurt and tore me apart. All this time I had strongly believed she was the one. I was so sure that she was different, that she would stay by my side regardless of who I was. I had told her the obstacles our relationship had to deal with, but she just waved it off, telling me she would fight against those if she had to. She had lied. I felt so betrayed.

I had trust issues, anyway, resulting from former unsuccessful relationships. So, when I had met Y/N, it took me a long while to regain my trust towards love for fear of being let down again. She broke my walls that should protect me from pain and now I had nothing to keep me safe anymore.

I shook my head.

Previously, I had emptied a box full of memories into my fireplace. Now, I was looking at them and letting the past flash before my eyes. Every happy memory that we both had created together would not be existing anymore. I took a photo in between my thumb and pointer finger. When I saw her smiling face pictured on it while I was kissing her cheek, I broke. Why was she doing this to me? Why was she hurting me so much? Have I ever meant as much to her as she did to me?

I threw the photo back into the fireplace and ignited the lighter. I hesitated for a moment. Was I really going to destroy valuable memories?

A snort escaped my lips. She threw our relationship away as if it was a piece of garbage so why did I care if I erased everything out of my life that dealt with her? I had been serious when I told her I was going to cut her out of my life.

Suddenly, the fireplace lit up and filled my living room with soothing warmth. I watched as the flames swallowed the last remains of Y/N’s and I’s relationship. Another tear slips down my cheek as I let my memories or anything that reminded me of her burn down into a pile of ashes along with my heart.

[taehyungsgrowl]

Ok totally ridiculous thought bc Duncan loves his babies & they love him, but the jealousy topic had me thinking what if Duncan gets a teeny, tiny bit jealous of Jim?! Bc he's always at work for so long so Y/N spends more time with Jimmy than him and they are so close and share a special bound. Would that even happen? And if yes how would that play out?

NO! Not ridiculous! I was thinking about this when I was writing this last piece AND when they fucked w/o letting Duncan join

I think he understand why they’re so close. I haven’t answered any asks on how the three met because yet because I’m still working on them. 

But in short, he met them as a pair. They were already friends and Duncan knows that is not something he can ever change. And he doesn’t want to. He loves them both. 

Now. I’m gonna flip this around for a little.

But in my mind, Jim would be more likely to be jealous in the beginning. He’d be into the idea of the relationship and all, but each time that either:

Duncan gave Y/N extra attention or Y/N spent time with Duncan he’d feel a little down. 

But only because he craves constant attention and validation. Don’t quote me on this, but sugar baby Jim has a praise kink. 

Duncan and Y/N would quickly learn this and always reassure how much they cared for him. It was the simple things for Jim. An extra goodnight kiss or Duncan coming home with his favorite snack. 

Just something that showed him he wasn’t a third wheel. 

Duncan and Y/N never saw him as that, but Jim would get clouded with insecurities. 

OKAY SORRY FOR THAT LIL JIM TANGENT - BACK TO DUNCAN.

I don’t see him being terribly jealous of Jim over Y/N because he understands the dynamic is different. He met them as his lovers. They met each other as friends. 

But if it did occur, I don’t see the jealousy being over Jim x Y/N romantically/sexually but more like he’d be hurt because he’s afraid they might not need him if that makes sense.

Both Jim and Y/N would have to pull it out of him. He’s not the best @ talking about feelings so he would be moping around for a few days until they confronted him. 

“I just feel like I’ll never know you like you know each other.” he sighed, “It’s stupid, but do- do you guys even need me?”

“What!?” Jim stood up, his face red. This might have been the first time Duncan had seen him this escalated, “What the hell are you saying? Of course we need you,”

“You don’t have to spare my feelings. I can still help out, like, financially if you need m-”

“Duncan what the fuck?” Y/N would pipe up, “We love you. I love you. Jim loves you. Where is this coming from?”

He’d shrug, “You’ve known each other for so long and I’m always away. You guys have each other - even without me. I just need to know that I matter,” he hated saying that last word; hated feeling so vulnerable. 

Jim grabbed his face and kissed him, “Duncan.” he sighed, “I never want to hear you speak like that. We love you. And not for the money or the nice house - for you.” 

Y/N stood and hugged around his torso, “He’s right. We wouldn’t be the same without you, daddy.”

__

Okay. I feel like I did a crappy job @ giving you an answer but I hope you enjoy even if it got a lil angsty!

[internetremix]

In IR lore, what are the personalities of your personas? Basic likes and dislikes?

Kristen: Goggles is An Child and behaves as such. She's very cheerful, very curious, a bit mischievous and also 100% obsessed with making fanwork of her internet family... like a goddamn weirdo. She'll usually be hanging out with everyone, spot some sort of inspiration, squeak with joy and then rush off to write or draw. She's also the defacto leader of the Smol Squad, which is composed of herself, Shyner, Jojo and Chi-chi, and she's usually the one squeaking out ridiculous plans in muppet for dumb shit like stealing cookies and trying to trap people in fanfiction scenarios. She likes to help and can often be found doing such things as assisting Xander in his many schemes or just popping up to provide shit like charts or hold things for other people- basically whenever it would be funny to have some goddamn muppet backing something up.

She loves plush toys, particularly Crockernanner, and also loves sugar, star decorations, and cuddles. She likes being picked up and loves attention, and she's pretty consistently attached to at least one person, often her big brother Split if she's not with the Smol Squad. She is in eternal war with Phill since he bullies her constantly, and will occasionally try to set up elaborate traps for revenge only to fail miserably. Also she's a huge weeb. She does not like to sleep and will often go days without it before being dragged off by some bigger person to take a goddamn nap you ridiculous child.  She is also very afraid of thunderstorms, she doesn't like loud noises or the dark.

She also has... various flaws and problems. But those are spoilers and I have no idea when/if we’ll be doing story stuff with IRsonas so I don’t want to give too much away with that.

Sorry this is very long, I think about my child a lot.

Jojo: JoJo is also a very happy child... like, stupid happy all the time. Like, they don't really have a concept of being angry. they're either manic happy or a bit sad. They love to find any way to make anybody smile or laugh, whether it be a somber happy, or a crying fit of laughter. They thrive off of happiness. They're a bit mischievous as well, and will try to play pranks and swipe things to chew on. They'll just appear in random places you'd never expect. like, in the pantry, the vent, or in your drawer. They chew things all the time to keep their dragon teeth sharp! They do tend to come off as obnoxious and kind of useless sometimes? But that's ok.

They love happiness, rocks, swimming, sandwiches, Vanilla coke, coffee, pianos, stars, ghost stuff(horror genre), and laughter. JoJo is pretty similar to Goggles now that I think about it x_xJoJo is best friends with Phill, and will always be on him in some way. Like his leg, back, holding onto his scarf by their teeth, etc. They're also very close with Goggles and Shyner, and Scott (even though Shyner tries to chase JoJo off with knives, JoJo will take it as a game of tag or something)JoJo doesn't like being yelled at or being told to go away. They get spooked easily by loud noises. They always get paranoid when they think someone is mad at them and will go to ungodly lengths to make them not mad or slightly annoyed with them, which sometimes makes people more annoyed with them than they were before.

JoJo is just an exaggerated version of me XD

Atwas: Atwas is fairly easy going. They make light of things often, and often hide serious sentiments behind jokes. They’re the type to roll with goofy and silly situations, and are very “yes and” type that enjoys escalating things in the name of light-hearted fun. They enjoy playing pranks, especially ones that take advantage of their hologrammatic nature (being able to enter and ‘possess’ electronics is something that they take advantage of often). Being technically in the cloud and a part of the internet at all times, they will often chime in with fun (often unrelated or humorous) metrics about situations and people as they occur—and often forgets that having a HUD isn’t something everyone has access to.

Being ‘technically’ invulnerable, atwas isn’t phased by the more dangerous things that go on in the IR tower, but usually prefers being a spectator or commentator as opposed to being an active participant in general shenaniganry. They don’t have any particular animosity towards anyone, and will occasionally help manage technical parts and functions of the tower.

They enjoy things like tech, cold weather, tea, fun statistics, darkness; and aesthetics like Film Noir and Retrowave.

They dislike things like excessively hot weather, being interrupted, getting too personal, having to put in a lot of “effort”, and being out of the loop.

Shyner: Shyner can easily be summed up to a tsundere in denial, and is the definition of an agent of chaos. If something goes wrong, she’s the one pouring a trail of kerosene to let the fire spread. She's loud, impulsive, and really doesn't give two shits. While quirky and charismatic, she’s also sarcastic and witty, reveling in the amusement of making fun of others. She’s often stubborn and impatient, thinking highly of her own beliefs and angered by those who dare to challenge her ideals. She also lacks a filter, and enjoys garnishing her words with colorful profanities. Filled with gripes of past trauma, she’s engaged in a constant internal war of turmoil and grief. She’s incredibly cautious and closed off around those she doesn’t trust, and can be very selfish.  Despite this, she’s loyal to the few people she cares about, going out of her way to put them first if a dire situation were to arise. She’s also very sneaky and mischievous, often finding amusement in spying on others. Her MBTI is INTP-T.

Her hobbies include stargazing, ghost hunting, spying, and Satanic worship. She enjoys melancholy vibes, horror movies, animals, thunderstorms, and has an unhealthy obsession with sweets. Yes, this child will stab you without hesitancy if you take her cookies. She dislikes seafood, big crowds, kiddie leashes, and is afraid of experiencing intense emotion she doesn’t understand.I love my satanic smol bean very much. If I may be so bold as to dive into the nitty-gritty psychology, Shyner possesses many flaws, a lot of which I personally struggled with growing up. She is a reflection of my past self, some gripes with my current self, and the perception of how I could have turned out if I hadn’t met my family at IR. Hiding behind the exterior of being a merciless bully, she still has an intense internal desire to be a good person, but gets frustrated and often derails herself in the process of fighting her desire to act on impulse. She keeps most relationships with people at arm's length, fearing that if someone were to think highly of her, it would only be a matter of time before they’re disappointed. If we were to go full-fledged story mode, she would most definitely have an intense character redemption arc, making the revelation that being shitty to those who care about her isn’t the way to run from her problems and hide away from her own sense of self-insecurity/hatred.

Phill: Phill likes mischief, bad jokes, sexual undertones, Jojo, sexual overtones, bullying Kristen, and the colour pink. That's it xD

Jojo: :D yay

Alex: Alex don't give a shit but is for whatever reason the bossman and is also as powerful as silver age Superman, just don't try actual murder of the crew and he won't yeet you into the sun

Moon: 2019 Moon is an idiot. If we didn't know any better, we would assume he was born from nothing but an old head of lettuce in Satan's refrigerator. Think like Scott from Monster Prom, but different. He knows his right from his left, but the compass is still just "NESW" to him. Impulsive, lovable, and kinda loud, this muscley dumbass will do practically anything you tell him to if he finds it enjoyable. When paired with a few people, he works well as a second to many dynamic duos. Brodingles and Moon/Split and Moon are two really good ones, dangerous shenanigans ensue. Can and will rap like a beast, any challenge to a freestyle will result in a career ending and a death being sentenced. Extroverted people pleaser, definitely shooting high to perform and when adapting to a character, goes a little too hard. This man played Gander in Charlottes Web and didn't stop making goose sounds for months. Did I mention he's also a disney princess? Singing, animals, mortal enemy falling to their death? Everything

Dawn: ToonWolf/Dawn's personality falls within the confines of recklessly adventurous who doesn't think things through entirely. They like to try and rope others into going on various hikes, treasure hunts, mythic/cryptid searches, etc. Unapologetic sailor mouth. They will fight for friends and family. Various animals, trinkets, treasures, and cool but useless garbage are brought back to the tower often (oops theres a liiiiiiitle bit of hoarding). Sometimes those animals consist of dogs, cats, lizards, bears, wolves, The Great Noble One, horses, lions, elk, you get the idea (Can I keep them?Pleeeeeeeaaaaaaaaseeeeee??????????).

Overall they are most comfortable and relaxed in/around water and likes a whole lotta things including sailing, swimming, adventure, stargazing, animals, mythology/legends, friends, family, and drawing.

They dislike waking up early, limitations, being talked down to, boredom, desert/hot/humid/dry weather, coffee, and the movie "Cube"

Tex: Tex is an avid cryptid detective + has a surprisingly good intuition when creating conspiracy theories about them to follow. Mm lots of memes and disguises. Smart, but usually just off on their own thinking about other stuff.Totally has a wall in their room dedicated to figuring all the cryptids out with like, red string and everything.

[ducktales-wco-oo]

“You’re, like, a sex god. You’re like a Nobel Prize winner sex god.” ( jkfjfdklfdjl; LP @ Drake ) - ✩ { @gamblealife​​ } ✩ 

{ ☆ } The first time they had attempted this, Drake had gotten as far as looking at... it before deciding that maybe it’d be best for their hands to do all the work. Specifically, HIS hands, since he doubted that any other parts of him would be adequate. Launchpad had been more than understanding, and tactful enough not to press for reasons. Simply accepting Drake’s anxious actions as the mallard took it in his hands and began to clumsily stroke. It hadn’t been terrible, but Drake couldn’t help but feel like it hadn’t been incredible either. 

The second time, he was determined to do better.

Of course, once again, Drake had hesitantly offered another part of himself up. Likely not the part that Launchpad had in mind when things escalated so far, but one that Drake had hoped thought was at least better than the pathetic handjob of before. His mouth was warm, after all. Moist too, with a tongue that feverishly swirled and pleased hums that vibrated from the very back of his throat. Surely that is better than- Who is he kidding? It’s not. Yet it was what he offered... and what Launchpad accepted. Smiling as he buried his fingers in Drake’s head-feathers, every sound he made felt like a reward for a job well done.

Even if there might have been a small intermission, Drake being a tad overzealous in trying to fit the entire length in his mouth. Greatly overestimating his throat’s abilities. But once the coughing fit had subsided and he could breathe normally again, the duck had stubbornly resumed his task... Not bad— from the look on Launchpad’s face after the deed had been done, it hadn’t been bad at all —but still not great enough. Launchie deserves better.

As people like to say, the THIRD time’s the charm. 

Having promised himself not to chicken out this time, it still had been a... journey to reach this point. A battle of fumbling words and clutzy actions, of nervous laughter and burning cheeks, of a compassionate boyfriend and one who was determined to show his gratitude for it. A long road for sure, and a bumpy one. But the destination... GOD, the destination was worth every tenuous step. Even if taking literal steps will likely be a challenge for a while after.

Breaths are ragged, Drake feeling lightheaded from how difficult it is to properly take in air. With moans slipping from his throat in a near-constant stream, broken only by Launchpad’s name— singing the pilot’s praises in a way that Drake never has before —it’s hard for oxygen to slip in. Not unlike the motions causing this symphony of pleasure; Launchpad’s own voice filling the air with a song of his own. Albeit, a rougher more guttural one. Grunts and groans pouring forth from his throat as he thrusts with ever-growing intensity.

Despite thorough preparation, Drake is still small and Launchpad is still big. The pilot’s grip on his waist is like iron, pulling Drake towards him with every movement. Hips smacking against each other with a force the promises bruises, the extra momentum is used to help Launchpad fully insert himself. Drake had insisted that he could take ALL of him, with a stubborn burning in his eyes that promised complaints if he didn’t. Each time the pilot slams into him, Drake can feel a jolt of pain. An intense burn as his body stretches to accommodate the other’s girth, muscles not even needing to try to tighten around the cock. 

But with each jolt of pain, comes a wave of pleasure that overwhelms his senses. One unlike any he’s ever felt, mingling deliciously with the burning inside of him. With the feeling of a dick— LAUNCHPAD’S dick —filling him, hard and throbbing, over and over again. When it leaves, he feels empty for the slightest-second. Incomplete. But it always returns within mere seconds, and the pay-off is worth everything felt before. Hands claw at Launchpad’s back, clutching the other’s feathers and feeling muscles rippling beneath. Tense and WORKING and damp with sweat from the breakneck pace. Growing more erratic with each moment.

As if they’re running out of time... as if this is their LAST time rather than their first.

“You’re, like, a sex god. You’re like a Nobel Prize winner sex god.” Words are growled into his ears, yet Drake nearly misses them. Too dazed by the feeling of what’s happening to him... To him. Because intoxicating or not, a nagging voice in the back of his mind can’t help but feel like he’s not doing anything at all. Is he? Launchpad is the one hovering above, pressing Drake’s back into the worn-out couch— creaking in rhythm with the male’s atop of it, wooden legs threatening to snap at any moment from the sheer FORCE of its rocking —holding his waist, guiding his hips, exhausting himself while Drake reaps the benefits.

True, from the throbbing inside of him and the warm substance he can feel starting to trickle out, Launchpad is having a good time as well. Breath hitches in his throat at a particularly STRONG movement— the pilot also aware of the substance starting to leak from him —a loud moan tearing from his throat afterward... A REALLY good time. But still, what is he doing? Besides clutching at Launchpad’s back, screaming his name, eagerly accepting every single sensation thrust— quite literally —upon him... Is he- Is he doing this right? 

IS this the incredible moment he’s been wanting for Launchpad? 

“A-Am I?” Drake whimpers, forcing himself to speak through his ecstasy. Voice trembling and weak as his body protests this insubordination. But even as his body writhes underneath Launchpad, surrendering to every whim, every movement of the other male without a second thought, he continues to voice his insecurities concerns, “Are you- Hghngnn... A-Are you su- ahh-ahhhhh~ That I’m- I’m...” God, it’s hard to speak. “Doing this ri-ight?” { ☆ }  

[firelxdykatara]

“It works when I’m... not angry.”

that’s something else that i find really interesting about the array of powers here! in the original show, the powers fit the girls who got them. prue was very type a, bossy, needed to be in control of her own life, the leader, and so she got the most physical of the starting powers, the ability to literally move things with her mind. this is a power that surfaced with her anger. piper was the people pleaser, the mollifier, the peacekeeper, the one who wanted everyone to get along and just wanted to keep her family together, and she was also the most afraid, initially, of the realities that came with being a witch--so she got the power to freeze time (on a smaller scale than mel, at the beginning), for which her panic and anxiety was a major trigger. as for phoebe, she was the heart of the show from the start--bold and reckless and a little bit wild, but also the one most likely to wear her heart on her sleeve, to be open about what she felt and to reach out to others and want to help them, regardless of the consequences (a trait that, if memory serves, got her and her sisters in trouble on more than one occasion--and also saved their lives multiple times). so phoebe was gifted the power of premonition--she could literally see people who were in danger, who needed her help, and she was the one who could rally her sisters and help save the day.

it seems to me that they’re going a little... opposites attract, with the new charmed ones’ powers. mel, who is so angry all the time--because of her mother’s death, but also because of the sheer injustice of the world in which she lives--has a power that is hampered by that anger. she can’t use it when she’s pissed, because her power is primarily meant to diffuse situations, not escalate them. while, powers-wise, she’s clearly meant to be the piper of the family, i think she more aligns with prue, and it’s interesting because i don’t think prue would have fared much better with piper’s power than mel is managing right now. maggie, on the other hand, is the clear phoebe analogue--she’s the baby of the family, she’s the bold one, determined to live her own life, and who chafes under her sister’s need for control (something that pushed phoebe herself out of the halliwell manor and all the way across the country before gram’s death brought her back), and she was given the power of telepathy.

it’s interesting, because this, too, seems... almost at odds with her personality thus-far--somewhat self-absorbed, though not without reason, but because she’s been so focused on trying to find her own path, her own place in the world where she won’t have to suffer the constant reminders that her sister has never stopped thinking about what if my selfish little sister had just answered her fucking phone that night, that she hasn’t taken much time to really see the people around her, to see if they’re people she even wants to fit in with in the first place... until she’s literally forced into their heads as her telepathy slowly begins to surface (and seeing her learn to control that will be interesting moving forward).

macy is somewhat harder to parse, because she hasn’t gotten as much focus in the episode, and she is also new to the family in general. unlike phoebe, who had a mountain of baggage to unload with both of her sisters in the original show, macy’s whole deal right now is that there isn’t any baggage--which is, in itself, a burden all its own. because i get the feeling that all her life, she’s longed for a family, for a sense of belonging her father just couldn’t give her--and now she’s found out that the mother she spent her life believing was dead had been alive all long... and yet she missed out on knowing her because she just happened to die right when macy moved to town. and yet she has two whole sisters she never knew about... but she’s a stranger to them. i think that she’s going to have a seasonal arc of uncertainty, of insecurity, because how can she really say she belongs when she constantly feels like a third wheel?

i think she’s going to eventually find her place with the sisters, and while her situation--being a half-sister the others never knew existed--mirrors paige, i find her most similar to piper, and it makes her being the one with telekinesis even more interesting. because macy? she does not like things she can’t explain. she threw a lamp at a man with her mind, watched him catch it without looking and then disappear without a trace, and she still tried to reason that there must be some ‘scientific’ explanation for it all. she used sodium bicarbonate to perform a demon exorcism. she needs things to make sense. she also seems to have some of piper’s peacekeeping tendency, partly from ‘i’m a neutral party here’ because she is so new to the family, and partly because she doesn’t want to make waves--she just wants to belong. and yet she’s the one with the most physical ability--the one who can move things with her mind, knock a bitch off his feet if she so chose, who would probably be the most use in a fight... but is the least inclined to actually seek fights out. (unlike prue, who may as well have had ‘confrontational’ be her middle name--and i say that with all the love that i possess in my heart.)

.... good god i’m thirty minutes into the pilot and already writing novels of meta. this bodes well.

[funkymbtifiction]

Healthy / Unhealthy Head Triad:

Pulled off PersonalityCafe. Saw no cited source. (Know it? Tell me.)

Enneagram 5

At their best: profound vision, objective insight, innovative exploration.

Mid-levels: comprehensive knowledge, intense preoccupation, cynical argumentation.

At their worst: eccentric nihilism, phobic delirium, psychotic paralysis.

Healthy 5w4: more able to participate in life. When the fiveish desire to withdraw and sort things out is no longer compulsive, the consciously chosen time alone becomes a tool for understanding the world, rather than an entrapping habit. The fourish passion for beauty emerges as the conscious result of harnessing the emotions rather than being their slave. Begin to deeply understand the simple, elegant way the awesome complexity of the world emerges from fundamental principles. They find great joy in watching and learning. When the perception of five and the passion of four are augmented by eight's power and leadership, plus one's intuitive wisdom, clear comprehensions can be transmitted to others.

Unhealthy 5w4: gets lost in the details. The compulsive analysis of five can lead to elaborate pseudo-logical constructions designed to explain everything. The four-wing's emotionality adds a flavor of dramatic hopelessness. Others Simply Do Not Understand. No one could understand. Retreats to a place of safety, hoping to escape from view, continuing to uncover the truth. There is little to no social involvement. The panic and scattered mania of seven combine with twoish self-congratulatory hysteria. Can come back into the world, awkward and excitable, ready to bolt but ready to passionately defend a bizarre, baroque fantasy world. As inner tension builds, schizoid withdrawal becomes more and more likely. The end result is a kind of terrified fugue, completely cut off from reality. The only escape from constant overwhelming chaos is inward.

Healthy 5w6: gains social ease. Deep perception and serene faith combine for a kind of knowing that focuses on the truth of human interactions. Overcomes the fear of intimacy and finds satisfaction in genuine relationships. Strikes a balance between the urge to withdraw to sort things out and the desire to feel safe among trusted friends. The need diminishes to protect against deceit by constantly analyzing people, leading to greater comfort and depth in friendship. Brings together the powerful insight of five, the stamina and leadership of eight, the deep faith and genuineness of six, and the inner peace of nine.

Unhealthy 5w6: becomes afraid of people. Mistrust interacts with reductionist analysis, and the world begins to seem more threatening. Threeish competitive urges might emerge, combining with sevenish mania to create a kind of intense, argumentative combativeness to hide a deep sense of inadequacy. This turns people away, leading to a greater sense of isolation. Tends to rationalize that most people are not honest anyway, and since other people fail to recognize the value of their brilliant ideas, they are not worth knowing at all. Paranoia and anxiety lead 5w6 into a terrifying spiral in which increasingly bizarre fabrications may be used to explain meaning into even the most mundane events.

Enneagram 6

At their best: self-affirming courage, faithful affection, responsible discipline.

Mid-levels: dutiful loyalty, anxious ambivalence, belligerent scapegoating.

At their worst: needy conformism, paranoid obsession, self-destructive panic.

Healthy 6w5: becomes free of anxiety and reductionist analysis, allowing their endearing gentility and good humor to emerge. Laughs easily, with a sense of relief. Can it really be so simple to live and enjoy life? There is a feeling of relaxed good nature and certainty. This is a person you can trust, someone to rely on for true friendship. Turns into a warm and deeply loving person, someone in touch with a real universal authority, internally and externally available. Acts with quiet confidence, coming from a place of peaceful faith. Essential sixness brings deep interpersonal bonding, essential fiveness builds penetrating perception, and nineish tranquility combines with eightish personal power.

Unhealthy 6w5: begins to feel anxious and wants to run away to a protected place. Unable to trust inner or outer authority, they search for an explanation for the constant tension. Others are easy to blame, and by projecting the causes of anxiety outward, 6w5 can find a temporary release. With increased stress, 6w5 loses faith in the blaming. No explanation for the anxiety satisfies, and the world begins to seem like a horrible, frightening game. Paranoia escalates. Bounces rapidly from fearful withdrawal to tense, overconfident pretense. Everyone is out to get me, and there is no place to run. I'm frightened out of my wits, and I know I am headed for a complete breakdown, but maybe if I can get myself into enough trouble someone will come and rescue me.

Healthy 6w7: has a feeling of firm steadiness, sure-footed and quiet. Sevenish impulsivity and sixish anxiety diminish, replaced by a calm deliberateness. Although fun and companionship are still highly valued, the desperate longing for security converts into inner strength. Finds a deep sense of belonging to the universe, and to mankind. Nineish calm and sixish faith combine with sevenish joy and fiveish perception. Shares with others a sense of eternal companionship and security.

Unhealthy 6w7: visibly desperate. Anxiety and insecurity become powerful controlling influences. Jumping from one colorful emotional state to another, trying to find any way to quell the increasing sense of uncertainty and vulnerability. They looks for someone out there who will help, but finds no one to trust. Will try anything to escape from the increasingly intolerable situations that arise. Physical illness, car troubles, boyfriends, girlfriends, landlords, all become scapegoats for the real problem of inner helpless dependence. You are either all-good or all-bad, and whether I like you or not can change from moment to moment. My very identity splits into fragments as I desperately cut myself into pieces to escape the horrible sense of impending catastrophe.

Enneagram 7

At their best: ecstatic gratitude, spontaneous enthusiasm, passionate accomplishment.

Mid-levels: active materialism, restless superficiality, addictive excess.

At their worst: irresponsible debauchery, manic hysteria, burnt-out debilitation.

Healthy 7w6: finds a new kind of centered calmness, as impulsivity and the desire to entertain fall away. Instead of shifting to another mood, they wait and see where this one leads. The slippery, happy-go-lucky quality is replaced by a smooth feeling of attentive watchfulness. A kind of directed, joyful intelligence like a sure presence, with an unlimited attention span. Becomes the master of many talents because of fiveish perceptivity, combined with deep fulfillment and pleasure from the experience of being fully present. Profoundly grateful for the continuing opportunity to take part in the unfolding drama of life. What a gorgeous, unpredictably fantastic world! What incredible beauty there is in even the smallest details of this universe! How excitingly alive I feel, and how at-one with the world! Let's celebrate together the deep abundance of life and love.

Unhealthy 7w6: the search for ever-increasing levels of excitement and stimulation seems like a way out of the apparent trap of boredom and unease, but it brings only temporary relief. Maybe another kind of fun will help me avoid this increasing sense of hopeless ambivalence. Maybe I should start a new company, or have a great big party! Tries to find the answer in increasingly grand plans for great, exciting events. As the ever-growing fear and boredom keep coming back, excessive stimulation approaches dangerous levels. Without increasing awareness, this course of exciting overload leads to extreme exhaustion, and an incapacitating despairing depression. At the bottom of the scale of health, 7w6 becomes a worn-out husk, utterly debilitated by drugs, sexual excess, and general over-stimulation, and totally incapable of self-care. At every opportunity, every means available is used to provide some escape.

Healthy 7w8: settles down. Become aware of the compulsive nature of the desire for excess and learn how to moderate the constant power-trip. Finds other people are easier to get along with when they are not being pushed or receiving a hard-sell on some wild idea. Love and appreciation for subtlety become important aspects of a life that includes increasing amounts of silent, peaceful contemplation. Discovers by letting the mind's chatter come to an end, a new level of perception emerges, with a greater understanding of how the world fits together. Instead of exploding outward into impulsive activity, 7w8 harnesses enthusiasm for practical uses. Life becomes a joyful, loving celebration. Look how much we have been given! Jump into the universe with both feet! Find your power and become what you were meant to be!

Unhealthy 7w8: gets ever-wilder. When others fail to respond with enough enthusiasm to high-pressure sales tactics, and the high of the latest exciting trip begins to wear off, it's time for the next wild ride. Maybe just a little bigger dose will do it. New ideas seem to erase old problems, and each one is bigger and better than the last one. If it doesn't work, forget it and move to the next grand scheme. You've got to try this, it's totally fantastic! As the highs get higher, the lows scrape lower. The miserable mornings are soon forgotten, because there's an even better high coming. Heads into ever-deeper entrapment, promising ever-greater rewards to those who will finance (or otherwise support) rapidly exploding levels of excessive indulgence. It all leads inevitably to the great crash, and utter dissipation.

[mayquita]

Pictures of Reality (2/16)

Thank you so much to everyone for giving this story a chance. Thanks for your kudos, likes, reblogs and for your comments, they mean the world to me.

Summary: Emma Swan returns to her birthplace, Storybrooke, in search of a fresh start after a life marked by abandonment and betrayal. After a year there, she finds the stability she needed and also the possibility of learning about one of her passions, photography. Killian Jones, a former British war reporter with a tragic past, establishes himself in the same town as an instructor of photography, following in the footsteps of his best friends, the Nolans. What will happen when their paths cross? Will their common passion for photography help them heal old wounds?

Rating: M (Language, mature themes, implied sex)

Warnings: Alcohol abuse, mentions of the loss of a limb in an armed conflict

Other ships / Characters: Although, obviously, this is a cs fic, Snowing plays a major role here, mainly David. In fact, the story contains three different points of view, those of Emma, Killian and David. Also, Henry appears in the story as Regina’s adopted son but he is not Emma’s biological son.

Beta: I can't forget to express my gratitude to my beta, @jarienn972 . I'm aware that you have had to deal with a monster of more than 100k words and besides English is not my mother tongue, so I value your effort even more.

Artist / art: Go visit @imagnifika ‘s blog and enjoy her amazing art / Art for the prologue / Art for chapter 1

Special mention to @saraswans , my perpetual companion in this world of writing. This story wouldn't be possible without you.

Word count: ~ 7500 (116k total in 16 chapters)

Also on: Ao3 / Ffnet /  Tumblr: Prologue Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

Emma Swan. Storybrooke, two weeks ago, October 23, 2017

TheLadySwan Three in a row. It seems that the Gods of the traffic lights have conspired against me on my birthday. I'm late for my own celebration.

Emma was late, very late. She had never been characterized by her lateness, but it seemed that she had made a habit of it in the last weeks. She parked her car carelessly and ran to the cafe. She didn’t care what Regina would think, but Henry was there and she didn’t want to make him wait. Emma opened the door with some brusqueness, the bells announcing her arrival causing all the faces to turn towards her. A sigh of relief escaped her lips when her gaze met Henry, his face lighting up as he noticed her presence.

Today was a special day, not only because she was celebrating her twenty-eighth birthday, but just one year ago she returned to Storybrooke, her hometown. One year since she met that boy, who had succeeded in making her happy. Her lips rose slightly as she thought about that day when luck or destiny brought her here.

One year ago

Contrary to what Emma had expected, the first time she saw the welcome sign to the town while crossing the road in her yellow bug, she did not feel butterflies in her stomach, nor did her heart tighten in her chest at the thought of returning home. She only felt a fear that crawled up her throat and spread its tentacles causing an imperious need to turn back and get away from there. Emma ignored that impulse though, her hands clutching the steering wheel of her car until her knuckles turned white while her eyes remained fixed on the road. That intimidating sign was not going to stop her from continuing her way. It was just a job interview and she was sure she had no chance, but since she was there, nothing, not even that constant fear, was going to stop her from trying.

Despite her determination, when she drove through the main street, she could not help but wonder about the same questions that had haunted her since she saw the ad in the newspaper. Why did her parents give her up for adoption? She could have grown up here. Or maybe she would have traveled with her family capturing the world through her inseparable camera. No. Family life and adventure were not in her cards. She seemed to have been born with a destiny already marked. No one had stayed long enough — for one reason or another. Either people disappeared from her life, or she ended up pushing them away.

She at least had the consolation that her parents had not abandoned her, that perhaps she was given up for adoption to offer her an opportunity they could not give her. And if her adoptive parents had not died when she was three years old, maybe she would have had the opportunity to grow up with a real family... but it seemed destiny had something different in store for her…

Although she tried to push those thoughts out of her mind during the job interview, they were still latent, threatening to resurface at any sign of weakness. To her relief, her efforts to keep her demons at bay seemed to have an effect as the interview progressed, especially since the interviewer focused mostly on personal aspects, rather than on professional skills. After finishing, the secretary shook her hand and suggested that she stay in the town since she would have an answer the next day. The man said goodbye to her with a slight bow of the head, a tight smile and an enigmatic look that Emma was not able to identify.

It was after leaving the town hall when the meaning of what had just happened hit her hard. When she embarked on this adventure of returning to her hometown, she did it not with the intention of radically changing her life, because the idea of really getting the job never went through her mind, but as a kind of challenge, something stupid, she thought, but it was as if her whole body had wanted to scream from the rooftops. ‘I'm here. I'm back. And in spite of everything, I have survived.’

But now that she had to spend a whole day in Storybrooke, with uncertainty hovering over her head, the urge to run away became stronger. Because walking through these streets meant that any of the people she crossed paths with could be one of her parents. When she was younger, she had created a thousand stories to justify the abandonment. They all revolved around heroic acts, as in a fairy tale, and at least she managed to forget her reality for a moment. But maybe now it was time to face that reality instead of ignoring it or escaping from it by creating fairy tales. These streets were going to tell her their story and she would have no choice but to listen to them.

To her surprise, as she moved with tentative steps through the streets, that gripping sensation began to fade. It was as if the town itself was sending a silent message. While she walked through the streets and discovered its corners, a sense of a certain calm began to take hold of her. The idea of walking through the same places that her parents would have walked so long ago — maybe they were still doing it — made her feel at peace with herself, as if, somehow, she had managed to connect to them. That had to be a good sign. She was going to cling to this opportunity, to this sign of destiny that she had received in the form of an advertisement in the newspaper, with all her strength.

Once she could overcome the initial oppressive fear, Emma began to see the town with different eyes, her lips curling into her first genuine smile since she left Boston — perhaps for much longer. Her heart fluttered in her chest, but while before the cause was fear, now it was anticipation. She began to imagine what life would be like in a town as calm as it seemed to be Storybrooke, what it would be like to walk along the docks, take lunch at the main street diner, meet its inhabitants… Enough! She slowed the escalation of thoughts that had gripped her. That was not happening. Tomorrow, she would return to her monotonous and lonely life in Boston. Sadly, that was her true destiny.

But it was clear that destiny had other plans for her. The next day, the day she turned twenty-seven, she got the job. And with it, the opportunity for a fresh start, to direct her life in the right direction.

But for that fresh start to begin, she would have to meet her boss. For that reason, today Emma was at the town hall reception, waiting to be attended by the mayor, Regina Mills. The damn wait was becoming eternal, a breeding ground for her insecurities to bloom. Emma shifted uncomfortably in her seat as she wrung her hands, wondering over and over again why she would have been chosen. Just when she was about to give up, the secretary, the same person who had done the interview, addressed her and pointed his head towards the office's door. The moment had arrived.

“Come in.”

When Emma stepped into the office, her eyes widened while wandering around the room. The office was decorated soberly and elegantly, in all black and white. Behind a beautiful desk was the one she supposed would be Regina Mills, the mayor. Her first impression was in a way, shocking. She had imagined an affable person, but the woman in front of her was the opposite, with an imposing, haughty and intimidating look. Emma remained standing, unsure what to do next while an awkward silence loomed over them.

"Miss Swan? Take a seat, please.” Regina gave her a long, deep look before pointing at the empty chair in front of the desk. It was obvious that the mayor was studying her, but if there was something that characterized Emma, it was her determination, so she held her gaze while raising her chin in a gesture of defiance.

"Well, Miss Swan. Let's get to the point. As you'll understand, I'm a very busy person." Regina rested both elbows on the desk as she crossed her hands in front of her before continuing."I did not have the pleasure of interviewing you, but I fully trust my secretary's abilities. I think he definitely found what we were looking for." She paused, staring at Emma, her gaze unreadable. Emma held her gaze, but she could not help feeling a strange sensation, as if she wanted to read further, reach her very soul. Her lips remained sealed. Waiting.

"I'm going to explain now what your functions will be. As you may have noticed, Miss Swan, I have several assistants who are engaged in different tasks, but I need someone of my complete confidence to perform certain functions, and this is where you come in. The job of mayor requires absolute dedication and therefore, I will also demand it from you. At any time, I may need your services and you will be available to carry them out. If I need you to go visit the sheriff station you will do it, at any time of the day. If I need you to visit any of the citizens to solve any urban issue, you will go when I tell you to."

Emma remained in a stubborn silence, although inside her blood had begun to run hot. She clenched her jaw as she bit her tongue in an attempt to avoid responding to such display of haughtiness. Her irritation grew at times when she saw how a shadow of triumph crossed the eyes of the mayor, as if she had achieved her goal of reducing her to a mere pawn. Emma felt her stomach drop to her toes as she realized how her hopes were gradually fading.

"And one more thing, the most important, in fact. Your main task will be to take care of my son." Emma was slow to react, but when her brain registered the meaning of her words, her eyes widened in surprise. This time they were not merely her imaginations, Regina wore a triumphant look. And Emma hated her a bit for that. "Excuse me?" She mumbled as she felt the blushing of humiliation creep from her neck to her cheeks.

"Ms. Swan, my son, Henry, is my priority, but my job as mayor is a full-time job, and I do not want to leave my son unattended because of that. Therefore, if I am busy, you will pick up Henry from school, take him to the library if I can't do it, or help him with his homework."

Emma pursed her lips, her heart pounding against her rib cage. It was her anger that finally got her to emit more than two words in a row. "So, if I understand correctly, my new job will be to run errands and babysitting." Emma snapped with ill-concealed sarcasm as she gave Regina a fake smile. Two could play this game.

The two women looked at each other, one with a haughty expression, the other with a look of defiance, waiting for the next movement, while an oppressive silence loomed over them. After a few seconds in which the tension between them could almost be cut with a knife, Regina finally broke it.

"Take it as a challenge, Miss Swan." Her expression softened subtly, though her next words acted as darts against her heart. "You can choose a new beginning, or leave before you start and go back to your ordinary, lonely life."

Emma let out a snort as she shook her head and stood up, ready to leave. She had had enough. Regina did not seem to take the hint, though. She continued, causing in Emma an almost unstoppable need to cover her ears. She did not want to hear anything else.

"I see that you are going to choose the easy way... it doesn't surprise me, given your history... but perhaps you should listen to one more thing before you run away. You may be interested to know that Henry, my son, has something in common with you. He is adopted, as you were."

Emma stopped short, her whole body tense, her hands curled into fists as she turned to face Regina. "How do you know that? What do you know about me?" She hissed through her clenched jaw as she shot her a murderous look.

"I know enough, Miss Swan." Regina replied holding her gaze showing a cold temper. "This may be an unknown town in Maine, but I have my contacts. Did you think I was going to trust anyone to take care of my son? I'm giving you a chance, despite your history. You decide - are you going to run away like you've done before?"

Emma repressed the urge to tell her to go to hell while she felt the disappointment washing over her. Just a few minutes ago she was hopeful, eager to start that new project, but now... "You don't know me." To her surprise, Emma's voice did not betray her inner turmoil. She was not going to give the satisfaction to that woman.

Just as she was about to turn around in the direction of the exit, her gaze caught on a frame resting on a shelf next to the desk. Her heart tightened in her chest when she saw that it was a family photo. Regina appeared with her arm around the shoulders of a boy of about eight years old, brown hair, brown eyes. The child, Henry she supposed, was flashing a friendly smile. That little smile was the one that disarmed her. Her eyes closed for a moment, as she tried to pull herself together. She could have been that child, she could have had someone to care for her, and yet... Emma shook her head slightly, as she swallowed hard. After releasing a deep sigh, she finally made a decision. That boy needed her. Her running time was over.

He seemed happy and Regina seemed to care enough for him so maybe she was destined to come back to Storybrooke for that reason, to make sure that child did not go through the same hell as her. Emma approached Regina again, both holding their gazes for a moment, Emma's stomach clenched in knots. Finally, she expressed her decision with only one question. "When do I start?"

 A warm feeling spread across her chest the moment she caught sight of Henry sitting in a booth in front of his mother, in the same place they had chosen just a year ago.

"Emma!" Henry shouted in greeting as he waved his hand gesturing for her to come closer, his face splitting into a giant grin the second he saw her. Henry did not even wait for her to get to the booth, but instead hurried to his feet and wrapped his arms around her waist in a tight hug. "Happy Birthday!"

Emma did not react at first, not yet used to these public displays of affection after so many years alone. Even so, her heart fluttered for that little boy who had accepted her without hesitation from the moment they met just a year before. "Thank you, kid, and I'm sorry to be late," she said while ruffling his hair.

"I guess the congratulations are in order, Emma." She barely had time to sit in front of Regina when her boss addressed her. "I hope your tardiness doesn't become a habit." She added as she raised an eyebrow in warning.

Emma suppressed the urge to roll her eyes and instead gave her a tight smile. Despite their tense start, their relationship had softened throughout the year, thanks mostly to the kid. But there were times, especially when Regina displayed all that aura of superiority and arrogance that Emma found difficult to bear. Other times, she would catch Regina sneaking an enigmatic glance at her, as if she would try to decipher something hidden inside her, or as if she was aware of something Emma did not know. Luckily those occasions were rare, because Emma did not feel comfortable under that scrutiny.

She shook her head slightly in an attempt to make those thoughts evaporate. Today was not a day for complaints, today was a special day. They had something to celebrate and nothing - and no one - would spoil her moment. For the next few minutes, she focused on Henry, who entertained them with stories about the school and about the book he was reading. He was a great kid, smart, friendly and with a big heart. She could not be more grateful for having accepted that offer despite its frustrating start.

As it turned out, staying in Storybrooke had changed her life. Even so, Emma still carried too many demons from the past. Her old habits of not opening up to others in order to protect her heart were still deeply rooted in her. There was a persistent hole in her heart, not so deep now, but always latent. And that feeling increased every time she walked the streets and remembered her parents. 

Despite having access to the town's archives, she had not made any effort to seek information and had not asked Regina, although she suspected that perhaps her boss, who seemed to control every little detail of Storybrooke, could be the most appropriate source of information. A paralyzing fear prevented her. It was as if she was afraid to face the answers she might find, or as if knowing about her origin threatened the stability she had found when she arrived here and decided to stay. No. She was not going to risk the best thing that had happened to her in her entire life.

Thanks to her work, she had no choice but to deal with most of the inhabitants of the town and Henry himself had introduced her to the people who would be the closest thing to friends she had, Ruby, Granny's waitress, and Graham, the Sheriff of Storybrooke. Friendship was still a new concept for her, but these two people seemed to have accepted her as she was, and, although she still maintained her protective armor, it was becoming weaker and weaker thanks to the security she had found.

Just then, as if her memories had invoked them, Ruby and Graham made their appearance. The moment Graham spotted them, he went to the booth they occupied, offering her a warm smile and a kiss on the cheek in congratulation.

Ruby also approached them holding a cupcake topped by a lighted candle. Emma’s mind traveled immediately to the year before, when she experienced a similar scene, surrounded almost by the same people, although on that occasion, both her head and her heart were much more troubled.

On the same day that Emma had decided to accept the job, Regina had entrusted her to go to pick up Henry at school, without even giving her time to acclimate or to return to Boston to pack. "It's Friday, Miss Swan, go meet my son and then you'll have the whole weekend to say goodbye to your old life." Regina had told her before dismissing her with a wave of her hand.

In retrospect, Emma still did not know the reason why she had confessed to Henry that day was her birthday when she had known him for only two minutes. By the time the boy had found out, he had insisted on organizing a celebration. "Everyone deserves a party on their birthday." He had assured with determination, causing her heart to flip. The little boy had offered her more in just five minutes than any of the people she had dealt with in the past.

That's how they had ended up at Granny's, right in this same booth. And that's how she first had met Ruby, the sassy waitress and granddaughter of the owner, who had rushed to prepare an impromptu birthday party for a person she had just met. Maybe this was something common among small towns, Emma had wondered, a little bit overwhelmed by the attention she received.

That first day with Henry had meant the beginning of a series of experiences that, until that moment, had been denied to her. Like blowing a candle surrounded by people instead of doing it with only the four walls of her solitary apartment as witnesses. Or that someone would sing Happy Birthday to her for the first time— at least of what she was aware of. Her time with the Swans was too short and she was too small to remember. And in the different foster homes and group homes, it was simply something that did not happen, at least not to her.

That unexpected celebration had also meant a change in a small tradition that she had followed since she first got a camera. Every year, no matter what the circumstances, however lonely or hopeless she was, she took a picture of herself in her birthday just before she blew the candle. She kept those photos saved in an album, as vestiges of her life, not as a proof of the loneliness that had always accompanied her, but as a reminder that she would never lose faith. She would always blow a candle, trusting that maybe, at some point, her wishes would finally be heard.

She had hoped that this was the first of many similar photos and time seemed to be showing that she was right since now she was going to experience again that feeling of being part of a group, of belonging to something. Before blowing the candle, she looked at Henry, who nodded in encouragement. Then her eyes went to Ruby and Graham, both of whom were holding their phones pointing towards her, prepared to immortalize the moment. When they both lifted their thumbs in unison, she closed her eyes, inhaled deeply and then expelled the air and with it the wish that nothing would change. That was all she needed.

When she opened her eyes, she found three pairs of eyes looking at her expectantly — Regina pretended to be very interested in the state of her nails — while Henry began to stir restlessly in his seat, his gaze traveling from Emma to his mother. Emma cocked her head as she narrowed her eyes, the corners of her lips rising due to Henry's behavior. It was obvious that the boy was after something, no matter how much he tried to hide his excitement. Regina also noticed it as, after raising her eyes to the ceiling and muttering, "Patience is not your greatest virtue, it's evident," she bent to reach for something under the table and passed the bag to her son. Henry hurriedly pulled the contents out of the bag and placed a package decorated with wrapping paper, right in front of Emma, while his lips curled into an adorable smile and his eyes sparkled with anticipation.

"Open it!" He required, unable to hide his impatience.

This was also new. Gifts. Someone thinking about her and buying something just for her. Emma felt a lump forming in her throat and sudden tears threatened to slide down her cheeks. She blinked a couple of times to hold back the tears and began to open the gift with slightly trembling hands before the attentive glances of Ruby, Graham, Henry and Regina.

Her eyes widened in shock when she saw the contents of the box. A DSLR camera. A simple object that had a great meaning for her, a future full of possibilities. "How..." Her voice trailed off as her gaze sought Henry's. "I... I can't accept it, it's too much." Emma muttered as an overwhelming sensation crept up to her heart.

"You don't like it." A shadow of disappointment crossed Henry's gaze causing her stomach to tighten into knots, so she hurriedly explained.

"Of course, I like it, Henry, but you didn't have to bother with such an expensive gift." She said in a soft voice, her lips drawing a grateful smile.

"You can consider it a kind of retribution for your dedication to the tasks entrusted this past year." Emma was surprised by Regina's unusual gentle tone in addressing her. "It was Henry's idea, after all." She added as she shrugged, the corners of her lips rising slightly. Regina going soft was so new that she felt like using her new camera for the first time just to immortalize the moment.

"I thought it was a good idea, since you're always taking pictures." Henry tried to explain himself in a hesitant voice.

"It's the best gift I've ever had, thank you very much." Emma assured him. That was enough for his face to light up, a giant smile blooming on his face, making her heart melt a little more in the process.

"And that's not all." Graham announced bringing another much smaller package. "Ruby and I also wanted to contribute in some way."

"Open it, open it!" Ruby added, bouncing excitedly.

Emma let herself be infected by the enthusiasm of her friends and accepted the package. It seemed that the surprises were not over. The moment she saw the content a gasp escaped her lips.

12-week amateur photography course taught by professional photographer Killian Jones.

Emma was unable to look away from the card in front of her. This was too much. When she agreed to this little celebration, she only hoped to spend a pleasant evening with people important to her. However, what they were offering was not only a gift, it was the possibility of fulfilling her dreams, of making her passion escalate to a new level. She did not know how she could compensate these people for everything they were doing for her.

"It starts in two weeks." Ruby explained. "And I've been told that the instructor is a hottie." She added as her eyebrows danced suggestively, earning a roll of eyes from Graham at her side.

"Miss Lucas, do you realize that there are children in front of you? Watch your mouth." Regina hissed as she cast a sidelong glance at Henry. He didn't seem to mind, quite the contrary, since he began to giggle, getting the others, including Emma herself, to follow him. Even the corners of Regina's lips rose subtly, the barest hint of a smile crossed her features.

"You're going to go, aren't you?" Graham asked, his penetrating gaze and his insistent voice making it impossible to reject it.

"Of course. Besides..." Before continuing, Emma cast a sidelong glance at Regina and Henry and then placed her hands around her mouth, as if she were confessing a secret and muttered, "...I've been told that the instructor is a hottie, I couldn't possibly refuse."

Graham rolled his eyes again, an amused grin tugging at his lips, while Regina huffed and Ruby lifted her hand to Henry's for a high five.

Emma couldn’t stop the corners of her lips from twisting upwards, drawing a smile full of affection for all these people. She clung to the card that contained the course information while trying to calm down, unsuccessfully, since she was so excited and grateful for the opportunity they were giving her that she did not know whether to laugh, cry, or hug everyone. Maybe she could do all three things at once. It was her special day, wasn't it? She was allowed to do whatever she wanted. So she parked her fears for a moment and postponed her nervousness for the next day. Today, she was going to enjoy her twenty-eighth birthday fully.

Emma Swan. Storybrooke, Present Day - November 4, 2017

"Seriously?"

When Emma had to stop the car at the third red traffic light in a row since she left her apartment, she wondered if the traffic Gods were sending her some kind of premonitory signal. She suppressed the impulse to bang her head against the steering wheel and instead began tapping it with her fingertips, while mumbling, "come on, turn to green."

Five minutes late. Her heart hammered in her chest when she finally spotted the library building, where the course she was attending — or would attend, if she could get there at some point — would take place. She parked in the first free spot she found, grabbed her purse and her camera and rushed to the entrance.

"It's the first door on the left." Belle, the librarian, pointed to the hallway the moment she saw her, no doubt aware of her tardiness. "The class has just started, Emma, don't worry." Belle added, leaning on the counter while offering a reassuring smile.

Emma nodded, her lips drawing a tight smile, as she headed straight for the door. Only when she was in front of it did she take a second to catch her breath and pull herself together. Her eyes closed for a moment as she inhaled deeply in an attempt to spread calm throughout her body. Then, she opened the door.

Several pairs of eyes turned toward her, but she ignored them, murmuring an apology as she walked swiftly with her head down toward the only free chair in the room, one fortunately far enough away to allow her not to draw too much attention. She did not even look at the guy who was sitting in front of the class, the instructor, she supposed.

Only when she felt comfortable enough, from the shelter of her seat and with her camera placed on the table in front of her, did she dare to look at the person who would be her instructor for the next few weeks.

Holy shit, Ruby was right. Emma thought when her gaze met the man's - two blue eyes staring at her intently while his head tilted slightly. Her cheeks began to burn at the scrutiny, but she did not look away and when neither did he, she noticed how a hint of interest crossed his gaze.

"I'm glad that you have finally decided to honor us with your presence..." The man took a look at the tablet he held in his hand and then looked back at her. "...Miss Swan."

A chill ran down her spine when she heard him, but Emma was not sure if the reason was his accent or the sardonic tone of his voice or the way he pronounced her last name, gently sliding the word between his lips. Still, his scrutiny and his slight reproaching tone made her shuffle uncomfortably in her seat. So much for making a good impression on the first day, she thought. "Sorry, it was the traffic." She muttered an excuse that sounded unconvincing, even though it was true. Sort of.

"Oh, sure, traffic, that big problem in a town like Storybrooke." His sarcastic tone did not disappear, causing Emma to press her lips together into a thin line, in an attempt to hold back the biting retort burning on the tip of her tongue. She did not need to continue embarrassing herself. "Anyway, now that we're all here, we'd better continue with the introduction to keep moving forward in our first class. Since all the others have been punctual, it's just you, Miss Swan, so you'd be so kind to let us know who are you and why are you here?"

All heads turned in her direction, causing her shoulders to lift and her cheeks to burn again. She suppressed the urge to run away though, and decided to behave like the grown woman that she was supposed to be. At least that's what her brain thought, her mouth had other plans. "Honestly, I don't think that's necessary, everyone already knows me here."

"Everyone except me. So, who are you, Miss Swan?"

Emma cleared her throat as she straightened in her seat, keeping the man's scrutinizing gaze. "I'm Emma Swan, the mayor's personal assistant."

"And why did you decide to join this course, Emma Swan?"

Why did that man look at her so intensely? It was as if he was trying to find something beyond her gaze, as if he was waiting for a certain response on her part. Maybe it was the nerves caused by such scrutiny, or the tension of not being sure what answer he was looking for. Whatever it was, her mouth decided to act on her own again while her brain was still processing what would be the most appropriate response.

"I just got this camera and the course to learn how to handle it."

The moment the last word slipped between her lips Emma was aware that her answer had been completely wrong. Any glimmer of interest that could have hidden the instructor's look vanished in an instant, the disappointment was written all over his face.

He looked away after letting out a sigh— of resignation perhaps? — just when her brain decided to come out then of its lethargy, all the explanations she should have given popping up into her head. Photography is my passion. It's the best way I have to express myself. I'd like to absorb all the knowledge that an expert like you can offer me in order to give the best of me in this art. Too late.

But the worst part was still to come. In case Emma hadn't embarrassed herself enough, something caught her attention as the instructor held the tablet, a glimpse of his left hand, or technically, of what appeared to replace his hand. Her eyes widened in surprise when she detected that there was a prosthesis at the end of his left arm. Emma frowned with a mixture of confusion and admiration as she wondered how he would manage to handle such a complex camera with one hand when she had difficulties with both hands.

When she looked up, she met Killian's penetrating gaze, who had caught her staring at the prosthesis. Emma looked away, while she felt like a furious blush of embarrassment crept up from her neck to her cheeks. She wished at that moment that a hole would open under her feet and suck her to free her from this agony. So much for that first good impression.

"Thanks for your input, Emma." He said through a tight smile that didn't reach his eyes. "And now, we better enter fully into the subject." He finally seemed to give a break to his scrutiny, addressing the rest of the students. "Welcome everyone to the fascinating world of photography."

Killian — that was his name, wasn't that? Shit, she should have looked at the card before coming, to be sure, or have arrived earlier, so she would not have missed his introduction — turned to reach for his backpack placed on the desk, looked for something inside and then held it with his right hand. A camera. Obviously. "Although it may be intimidating, once you have learned the basics to operate this small device, it will become your faithful companion, following all your steps wherever you go. So, today's class will consist of familiarizing ourselves with our respective devices. The camera is not our enemy but our ally here, so what better than to get the best out of it?"

For the next few minutes, Emma focused on his explanations in an attempt to forget the previous embarrassing moments. It was not a complicated task, since it was evident that the guy knew what he was doing. Perhaps it was his simple and close language, far from complicated technicalities, perhaps the passion that his words gave off, whatever it was, the next hour flew by while Emma listened, enthralled by all his explanations as she tried to absorb all his knowledge putting them into practice with her own camera.

"And now guys, the time for your defining moment has come."

Emma narrowed her eyes and tilted her head, a sense of mild panic gripping her as she followed his every move. The others seemed to feel the same, since they began to murmur among themselves as they shifted uncomfortably in their seats.

"Come on, guys, I guess you're already tired of my boring talk. Now comes the best part of the classes - the practice.” Emma could not help but feel a pull of excitement at the possibility that he was offering to potentially rectify her uncomfortable start. Maybe she could not control her mouth or her thoughts, maybe she could not even control the camera, but she did know how to look through a lens.

Out of the corner of her eye, Emma saw someone raising a hand. Aurora Prince. Killian nodded at her as a prompt for her to speak. "So, we're going to take pictures?"

No. We are going to paint our nails. Seriously?  Emma suppressed the impulse to roll her eyes while wondering what people like Aurora and her husband did here. They had never shown any interest in photography. Or Leroy, the most grumpy person in the world. Maybe he was here to get through the typical Saturday hangover, keeping himself safe from his numerous brothers. A snort escaped her mouth as she imagined such a scenario, gaining the reproachful look of some of her classmates and a smirk from the instructor himself.

"Yeah, we're going to take pictures." Killian confirmed without giving any sign of sarcasm. Apparently, he was more diplomatic than her. "I'd like to know with what level of skill each one of you starts, to be able to adapt the following classes to your needs, so I thought that for this first practice, you could work in pairs and take some portrait photos."

All the others seemed to move in coordination because, in a matter of a couple of minutes, they had all been paired. Everyone except her, of course. Emma tried to ignore the pang of hurt, trying to justify the fact that she had been rejected. Most of the couples formed already had a previous relationship, she told herself. Robin and Will were friends, Elsa and Anna, sisters, Aurora and Phillip were married. Emma did not know that Ariel and Tink were related, though. And the union between Archie and Leroy was like a little thorn in her heart. But Leroy was Archie's patient, maybe it was a kind of therapy or something?

Emma was so focused on analyzing the pairings and justifying them, trying to stop the — unfortunately well-known —feeling of rejection, that she did not realize at first that the instructor had appeared beside her.

"I guess that leaves us together, huh?"

Her head snapped up at the close sound of his voice. "Uhm, I guess I have no other choice." She shrugged, one side of her mouth tugging up as she looked at him. Holy shit! Now that she had him closer, his eyes seemed even bluer, and his scruff had an interesting reddish shade in contrast to his dark hair, and those lips... Focus, Emma!  She shook her head subtly as she grabbed the camera with hesitant movements.

This was so awkward. Emma glanced at the others, who seemed to be having a good time, all smiles — except for Leroy — poses, and funny faces in front of the camera. Meanwhile, she was there, in a corner of the room, in front of the instructor, who had crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for instructions, she supposed. And to create even more tension, she felt that this was like a test. She had to prove to herself that this was what she really wanted to do.

"Do you need some help there?" He offered through a gentle smile.

"Uh, no," she breathed as she bit her lower lip, rocking back and forth on her feet, "I'm just trying to figure out what to do."

"It's okay, lass. This is not a test of technique. Feel free to do anything that crosses your mind. I'm at your disposal here."

Maybe it was his soft voice, his nod of encouragement or maybe that sparkle of interest that had returned to his eyes. The fact is that she swallowed any insecurity she might have had and got down to work. She grabbed the camera with determination and began to instruct him to move slightly or stand in a certain position while she tried to make the necessary adjustments and find something creative that could express some meaning. He obliged without a single complaint, an amused half-smile never disappearing from his lips.

Finally, she found what she was looking for - the most suitable background for her photo. After giving him the last instructions and making the last adjustments, she looked through the viewfinder and, once satisfied with the image on the other side of the lens, she shot a couple of photos. Next, she looked at the result through the camera's screen. Her intention had been to photograph only half of Killian's face, focusing on his eye, whose color matched the color of the background. She had also wanted to include the word that appeared on the poster in the background, also in blue tones. Learn. The idea was there, she thought pleased, although she found something odd in the background.

"Let's see what we have here." Killian approached then, pointing towards the camera. "May l?"

"Yeah." She handed him the device, while her bottom lip caught between her teeth and her stomach clenched in knots of anticipation for knowing the opinion of the expert. To her relief, his eyes went wide briefly as his lips twisted in approval. Or at least she hoped so.

"Your choice is quite interesting." When Killian turned his gaze from the camera to her eyes, she could detect that the brightness of interest had become more pronounced. "Can I ask you why you chose this type of portrait? Let's say, it's a bit atypical."

"Well..." She hoped her voice wasn't shaking. "I assumed that the others would make more traditional photos, so I considered taking a more innovative angle."

Killian cocked his head slightly to one side, arching one of his eyebrows, as if deciding what to say next. Emma held her breath until he decided to speak again. "The result is quite satisfactory. We'd have to work a bit more on the approach, though, but it's original and creative. Good job, lass."

Emma felt her stomach flutter due to both his words and the appreciative smile he gave her. Maybe that's why she finally dared to express what she had wanted to do at the beginning. "I'm not here just for the camera. I mean, it's true that it's a gift and that I have no idea what to do with it, not yet, but I'm going to learn. I love photography both as media and as art, and I want to express myself through pictures. " She slightly raised the hand that held the camera to reinforce her words. "I want to create stories through it."

This time, her choice of words did seem adequate. Killian looked at her with a new glow in his eyes, something she could not identify exactly, but that made it impossible to look away. It was only when he spoke again that she was able to get out of the trance to which she had been subjected by the spell of his eyes. "I'm glad to hear that, lass. Maybe our paths have crossed for a reason, maybe we're on the right track to finding what we're both looking for."

Hope. That was what she detected behind his intense gaze. And also the shadow of something deeper, as if those eyes had witnessed many stories, not all pleasurable. Emma felt hopelessly attracted by the enigma that Killian Jones had become, finding herself wanting to know those stories and to understand the cryptic meaning of his words. She had eleven weeks ahead to find out.

Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think :)

What to expect in the next chapter? We'll discover more pieces of Killian's backstory from David's point of view, and the connection between the two of them. And the photography course will continue with the second class.

[therecusant]

VLD S8: Keith vs Haggar

This week I started seeing some posts about how Haggar might go after Keith in season 8 and that Acxa might be secretly evil and still aligned with Haggar. While I’m pretty sure these are more from a shipping angle (likely out of a dislike for Kacxa), I started thinking about how a Haggar/Keith dynamic might work in season 8 and actually found it to be really interesting.

Where this first drew my attention was in rewatching season 7 episode 5, ‘The Ruins’. In that episode we see Keith having a rematch with the Druid from season 1 episode 10, ‘Collection and Extraction’. During the rematch, Macidus (the Druid’s name) says something very interesting to Keith about Haggar.

Treachery. The Druid specifically refers to Keith’s actions as traitorous. At first this was confusing because, obviously, Keith never was aligned with the Galra Empire. It had me scratching my head when I first watched and others were too.

Now the obvious implication is that Macidus is accusing Keith of being a traitor since he’s half-Galra. Why this was so weird to viewers though is that this is first time in the show (to my understanding) that a villain has addressed Keith’s Galra heritage (Zarkon did in season 1 during their fight but that was more to hint at the Galra hybrid twist for the audience than for any actual in-universe implication).

Why this is significant is that then we are finally having the lineage addressed by the antagonists and its specifically the Druids. This made me ask the question, what is Keith’s connection to them in the story? From there, I started going back through the show for moments that would lead to the discussion/analysis I’m now presenting which is:

Haggar blames for Keith for everything and wants revenge.

Let’s start off with the first interaction Keith has with Haggar/the Druids.

As mentioned above, in season 1 Keith ended up in a battle with the Druid called Macidus, interfering in his quintessence work and starting a long list of conflicts that lead to Haggar wanting revenge.

In the following episode, s1e11 ‘The Black Paladin,’ Keith prevents Zarkon from taking the Black Lion by knocking it away and then defending the lion in a battle with him in the Red Lion. In doing so, Keith prevents Zarkon from fulfilling his desire to reacquire his lion, a goal that becomes self-destructive by season 2.

In season 2 episode 12, ‘Best Laid Plans,’ Keith sneaks onto Zarkon’s ship and, with the help of BoM spy Thace, manages to kill two druids and turn the central hub into a bomb that shuts down Zarkon’s ship to allow the Coalition and BoM to infect it with a virus.

This forces her to abandon her previous work, powering Zarkon, and try and stop Keith and Thace in the Central Hub. Keith manages to escape with instruction by Thace who holds off Haggar and the sentries in the meantime, leading to their plan succeeding as the bomb goes off and nearly kills Haggar.

As the season 2 finale (s2e13 ‘Blackout’) begins, Zarkon decides to face Voltron himself against Haggar’s suggestion. He’s endangering himself, just like in season 1′s battle with the Red Lion and Paladin, to regain the Black Lion. She knows it’s a bad idea and also knows this would never have happened if Keith didn’t interfere back in season 1 when Shiro was expelled from his lion. Similarly, if Keith had not worked with Thace in activating the bomb, Zarkon would not need to make himself so vulnerable.

Like she suggested in the beginning of that episode, Zarkon is left nearly dead by the end of season 2, with Keith being the one to add the extra touch of shoving the blazing blade into Zarkon a second time at the end of the conflict.

Her husband is on the brink of death and it’s Voltron’s fault but more specifically the intervention of Keith and the BoM.

Following up on this is Keith and Haggar’s conflict in the season 4 finale, ‘A New Defender,’ where she and the other Druids have trapped the Paladins on Naxcela and Keith leads the Voltron Coalition to stop her.

In this space battle, Keith attempts to sacrifice himself to stop her before Lotor interferes. Now, while the series has only used this moment for Lotor and Haggar’s relationship and his later alliance with the Paladins, we still need a follow-up on Keith’s attempted sacrifice and a new conflict with Haggar could bring this to light. At the very least, it is worth acknowledging how Keith lead a battle against her and the Druids.

This is then followed up with season 5 episode 4′s ‘Kral Zera’ in which Haggar, Lotor and other factions of the Galra Empire arrive at the Kral Zera ritual in order to take over the throne in the wake of Zarkon’s death.

Haggar arrives in order to establish Sendak as the new emperor but things go bad quickly as the BoM and Keith set off bombs that send everyone into chaos and leads to Haggar having to give up on her plan. It’s very possible she sees Keith specifically to blame because he’s fighting without his mask in the latter part of the episode wherein Acxa helps him against a Galra general.

The potential Haggar/Keith plot point then escalates in season 6 episode 4′s the Colony when she activates Kuron, a Shiro clone allowing her to spy on the Paladins. This lets her learn about Keith’s work with the BoM and specifically the Altean Colony.

After she manages to get Kuron and her generals to abduct Lotor from the Castle of Lions, Keith interferes in her plans yet again by managing to pass through the wormhole in the Black Lion and attacking the ship harboring them. She does manage to lead him away though, using his connection to Shiro.

This is significant because the dialogue reveals that she knows who Keith is. She knows it’s the Red Paladin in the Black Lion, knows how deep the connection to Shiro is. Some of this is just from Kuron’s vision of course, but remembering Keith was the Red Paladin when she saw him in the BoM outfit just before? Sounds like he left an impression on her in those first two seasons.

Kuron vs Keith happens, like she plans, and it seems things have worked out. Kuron is Keith’s worst fear, knows all his insecurities, and seems impossible for Keith to beat.

But Keith does manage to beat Kuron and in doing so he’s indirectly defeated Haggar.

Lotor gets free and nearly kills the other four paladins before Keith and Black arrive and stop him in s6e6 ‘All Good Things’. This interruption leads to Keith leading the team to defeating Lotor and leaving him in the Quintessence field.

Now she’s lost her son too.

Through every foiled scheme, Keith manages to stop Haggar, Zarkon and Lotor and destroy their family. He’s a member of the Blade of Marmora, meaning he’s a traitor to the Galra Empire. He’s the Black Paladin, meaning he’s stolen from her husband the thing he’s been trying to find for thousands of years. According to some fan theories about Galra Keith, Kacxa, Kallura, etc. Keith might have stolen Lotor’s place in the universe too, if not just his life.

Keith.

Haggar blames Keith for all these things and in season 8 will do her best to get whatever revenge she can. Targeting Shiro? She’s done it countless times before, it’s possible she’ll try to make death stick this time. Maybe Allura or Acxa? Depending on if and how those relationships develop, maybe they’ll be her targets. Potential lovers as revenge for Zarkon. But, there is an even more frightening possibility.

What would be a bigger blow to Keith, a more satisfying revenge for Haggar, than taking from him the very same thing he took from her: family. All Keith has left is his mother. Surely killing Krolia would be the perfect punishment for his constant defiance, his treachery, his stealing the Black Lion and killing her son?

It’s a frightening thought, for sure.

I hope you like that little analysis, I’ve got a few more thoughts somewhat separate and others I’m just not sure if they should be added to the main point so I’m adding them at the end here

Keith is Quintessence Sensitive:

A lot of people have talked about this, particularly after his managing to detect Macidus in season 7, and I think there’s a possibility people haven’t mentioned (or at least I haven’t seen yet):

Back in season 1, in his first fight with Macidus, he was contaminated by quintessence harvested by the Galra Empire and Druids. Now, at the time people thought the Quintessence healing him was all there was to the scene and I did too. Others thought it was covering up the Galra skin underneath which we now know isn’t the case since Macidus himself says Keith’s hand was injured (I believe the ‘Form Podcast’ creators on for that episode similarly said that was the case).

While that scene seems to be foreshadowing the effects of quintessence, what if it’s more than that? What if being contaminated by quintessence gave Keith...abilities? It’s why he ends up having such a strong bond with Red, is able to bond with Black so easily, is able to link with Allura to enter the Quintessence field immediately and is, aside from Allura, the only paladin who does not become violent due to its effects? What if that douse of quintessence is what made him be able to sense Macidus in that moment and kill him? It’s just a thought but it’s possible and I honestly love the idea a lot.

Haggar and Druids vs BoM:

Multiple times throughout the series, Haggar or something connected to her have gone up against the BoM.

Ulaz takes out her Robeast, Thace and Keith kill some Druids, Kolivan is captured by Macidus, etc.

There’s one particular interaction I want to address, from s4e1′s ‘Code of Honor.’

There’s a Galra ship Keith, Kolivan and another BoM named Regris intercept and try to plant a tracker on before finding out it’s a bomb and nearly dying. For me, it’s unclear if that was Lotor or Haggar’s doing. For a while, I thought it was Lotor and assumed the show would address him nearly killing Keith, killing his comrade and the like. It hasn’t which makes me wonder (and also hope because otherwise Keith letting Lotor be around the Paladins is weird, as well as the BoM trusting him enough to reveal their identities) if maybe that was Haggar instead.

Not to mention, if what Macidus said was true, Haggar’s last order was to kill all the Blades of Marmora, (especially Keith?).

If so, this adds to the Keith/Haggar possible dynamic moving into season 8.