#than I do remembering bands and other pop artists that everyone knows

[steddieas-shegoes]

documentary

for @corrodedcoffinfest prompt 'behind the music'

rated m | 723 words | cw: implied sexual content | tags: modern era, famous corroded coffin, established steddie

📹📹📹📹📹📹📹📹📹📹

"Steve!" Gareth calls from the couch of the living room, not caring that Eddie was fast asleep in his chair. "It's on!"

Steve rushes into the room, nearly falling face first when he slips on the corner of the rug. He's wiping his hands on a towel, probably wet from doing the dishes after dinner.

Jeff and Frankie are sitting on the other couch, leaning forward to watch.

Eddie's still asleep somehow.

"Metal bands have always been expected to just make due with whatever already exists in the metal community. 'Don't play acoustic' and 'You can't play Coachella' and 'You can't feature a pop star.' But we just like music. We wanna share music with people."

"Listen to you, Jeff. So poetic," Frankie teases. Jeff shoves him, but they keep watching the ad for their documentary.

"We live in a time where people don't have to just like one thing. Someone can have a playlist that's got us right next to Dolly Parton and Taylor Swift if they want. If people saw my playlists, they'd think a group of teenagers made it."

Eddie doesn't even wake up when his voice fills the room, his face on the screen.

"Corroded Coffin announces world tour with a new opening guest for every show. The artists range anywhere from Chappell Roan to Sleep Token." A male reporter is shown on the screen.

"No one's doing it like them, that's why we love them," a few fans say into a camera during an interview.

"The members of Corroded Coffin refused to do a documentary for years, too busy writing, recording, and performing music for the masses. But they've taken time off this year, focusing on personal time with loved ones and staying out of the limelight they worked so hard to reach. We finally managed to sit down with them and find out who they are...behind the music."

The ad changes to a fast food commercial and Steve laughs.

"That was somehow more dramatic than anything Eddie's ever done," he says as he walks over to wake up his still sleeping boyfriend. "Ed, you missed it."

Eddie's eyes blink open, but he doesn't seem to remember that he fell asleep with everyone in the room. He grabs Steve's thighs and pulls him down so he's straddling his waist.

"Hey, big boy. Was just dreamin' about you."

Steve laughs. "You can tell me all about it later. When your best friends are not sitting a few feet away."

Eddie turns his head, but doesn't take his hands off of Steve's hips. "You should all go. I have business to attend to."

"You missed the ad, dumbass," Gareth says, throwing one of the pillows at Eddie. "Keep your hands to yourself until the next run."

"Don't you think it's already on social media?" Frankie asked before Eddie could.

"Probably, but it's different on tv."

Eddie squeezes Steve's hips, but lets him get up. He sits up and smiles up at Steve. "Later?"

"If you can stay awake, sure."

Steve leaves the room and Jeff, Frankie, and Gareth all start teasing Eddie immediately. He lets them; He knows he's a lovesick idiot.

When the next ad comes on as scheduled, Eddie watches it silently.

He pulls his phone out and calls Wayne, asking if he saw it.

And then he starts crying.

Everyone's in complete shock.

"Steve! Eddie's crying!" Gareth yells.

This time when Steve comes rushing into the room, it's with panic in his eyes. He seems to realize what's going on the moment he sees Eddie, though. He shoos everyone out of the room as he makes his way to him, kneeling in front of him and placing his hands on his face.

The guys don't hear much, but they can make out Eddie blubbering "we worked so hard for this and it's happening" and Steve's gentle shushing and praise.

"Should we get pizza delivered?" Frankie asks.

"I think now's a good time to just leave," Jeff suggests. "We can get hibachi."

"Hell yeah!" Frankie fist pumps and opens the front door, holding it open as Jeff walks through it.

Gareth looks back towards where Steve has Eddie's head against his shoulder, hand in his hair. He smiles to himself as he leaves to join Jeff and Frankie.

They really did work their asses off to get here.

[stars-and-the-min]

☆ the wrong way to hard launch (7) | OP81

summary : oscar's girlfriend is a walking pr problem for literally everyone (including herself) social media au

pairing : oscar piastri x zhou!fem!singer!oc

a/n switch out one shitty ex for a slightly less shitty one

masterlist | last part | part 7 | next part

ARTICLE

Revisiting 'Twelve More Days' : How Empty Bottles Spun Their Signature Sound on its Head on Tour April 12, 2024 · Written by Catherine Moore

Almost halfway through the Asian leg of their world tour, it's finally time to talk about what the pandemic-era rock band Empty Bottles has been up to. For greener artists, it's the cookie-cutter way to stick to a genre that has previously worked and give the masses what they want but instead, Empty Bottles have taken their 2022 sophomore sensation 'Twelve More Days' and tweaked the songs for their world tour.

Long-time fans of the Sydney-born band are familiar with the classic rock elements that brought Empty Bottles into the spotlight; claiming influence from fellow Sydneysiders 5 Seconds of Summer, Arctic Monkeys and other croony rock artists, so it was a rather big surprise for critics and fans alike when the album opened with a much softer, hypnotising approach.

The even bigger surprise was the creative and musical approach they took with their tour. As noted by various critics back during the album release, 'Twelve More Days' had a not-so-subtle jazz flavour to their sound, and the band seems to have embraced the jazz-rock sound by opening their tour with a speakeasy-style set, complete with the band decked out in snazzy 1930s reminiscent suits and frontwoman Selina Bui in glittery minidresses, opera gloves and a thematic vintage ribbon microphone.

Despite close to three years since she last performed in front of a live audience, Bui took to the stage like a fish to water, instantly entrancing her audience with her universally acknowledged rich sirenic vocals, drawing in the attention and sending the venue back to a 1930s speakeasy. Strangely, she performs this part of the show without her trusty guitar, leaving the grunt work on the other lead guitarist, talented Lukas Zhang, who delivers without a hiccup with no twin guitar to help cover any mistakes.

Quite a few of the sophomore album's songs are given a jazz-rock twist that nobody could have predicted. Other already jazz-influenced songs - namely deluxe track number 13 'money talks' and track 6 'typo' - have been breathed to life, as well as a couple of songs from the band's debut album 'overtime'.

Empty Bottles then returns after a brief intermission with their award-winning pop-rock sound, spending the rest of the set in much more familiar-looking leather jackets and t-shirts and a guitar returned to Bui's hand. Bui, very well known for having an interesting sense of humour, made the choice of returning to the stage with the fitting song choice of 'do you remember me?'. One thing you have to give the 22-year-old is that she really does know how to pick her moments, and the now-iconic first chords of the cocky, energetic track are enough to send the crowd screaming.

The exploration into the many subgenres of what is considered rock 'n' roll has always been a very fuzzy point of conversation, and it's been an honour seeing Empty Bottles have fun playing jump rope over that line. What makes this tour such a raving success is their perfect balance of experimentation and keeping to what is tried and true for them; the classic, hard-hitting, no-nonsense, inane-lyricism rock coupled magnetically with Bui's captivating execution on stage.

Would you find me at one of their shows again? Absolutely, there was truly nothing more thrilling than the first moments you see Selina Bui walk onto stage with her infamous cheshire cat smile. What did I personally think about the sound change? I was pleasantly surprised at how seamlessly they've adjusted the songs to fit the jazz-rock genre, I also believe that they have found the perfect sound to complement Selina Bui's voice. It's uncanny how it just clicked that she was born to sing the soft, almost lullaby-like, calming songs. If they were to release another album with a similar soft sound, I would happily eat it up.

Empty Bottles wrap up the Asian leg of the tour in Bangkok, Thailand later this month and then shortly begin the European leg in Sofia, Bulgaria.

INSTAGRAM

cameliazzz

liked by aidan_ebass and 122,394 others

cameliazzz life lately 🐾 tagged: selinabui

aidan_ebass Yes ma'am 🫡 ↳ selinabui @aidan_ebass i'm dying u are such an old man ↳ lukaszhang @ selinabui he's like barely a year older than you??

cami.png the hottest drummer ever 💜💜💜

conangray a little commotion for the drummer pls and thank you ↳ cameliazzz @ conangray stop i'm blushing 🙈

TWITTER

fiona🩷 @fififorlina · 4h i mean we can all thank tommy for one thing and that's for twelve more days lmao ↳ lina bui x2 grammy winner @urdaisea · 3h i forget that not all empty bottles fans have read this article but i think they all should: Why 'Twelve More Days' isn't a Break-Up Album, it's a Healing One

emme @flowersforcami · 1h yes twelve more days is full of t*mmy slander BUT remember that all the band members have writing credits and they ALL helped write songs so basically what i'm trying to say is that twelve more days is actually the rest of the band roasting the shit out of lina's ex ↳ emme @flowersforcami · 1h every one of those bitches rocked up to the studio and went for blood. that is a universally hated man in their group chat.

amie <3 @mieflrs · 2h it's been 3 years, i think it's time to admit that keeping tabs is absolutely not about thomas fucking howard ↳ amie <3 @mieflrs · 2h i don't care how delusional u are, where in those 3 minutes 54 seconds did you hear a single line that sounds like anything like that sorry excuse of a man??? now a certain japanese-american singer who is exceptionally hot playing the guitar on the other hand... ↳ lukas 🔛🔝 @lukiepookie28 · 2h yes i agree it's not about t*mmy but it's also not about CHRISTOPHER like WTF R U ON???

oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 32m we're in an oscalina drought and it's plain to see not all of us are coping well

MESSAGES

from the phone of selina bui

INSTAGRAM

selinabui

liked by chrisyamada, oscarpiastri and 279,384 others

selinabui now he's thinkin' 'bout me every night, oh is it that sweet? i guess so

amelia_belrose pop!lina perhaps 🫣

oscarpiastri Didn't need to call me out like that ↳ selinabui @ oscarpiastri don't tell me u miss me already

sabrinacarpenter she's working late coz she's a singer

lukaszhang woman you hate coffee what are you on ↳ selinabui @lukaszhang why are u even here

MESSAGES

from the phone of selina bui

TWITTER

Yamada Updates @chrisyamadanews · 2h 🚨| Chris spotted at the Empty Bottles 'Twelve More Days' Tour in Seoul Night 2

Yamada Updates @chrisyamadanews · 32m 🚨| CHRIS ONSTAGE WITH EMPTY BOTTLES!!!

↳ Yamada Updates @chrisyamadanews · 30m this made me break ok, i am so fucking thrown off. WDYM WE GOT SELINA BUI AND CHRISTOPHER YAMADA ON STAGE TOGETHER IN THE YEAR 2024???

mabel @ maplemabel32 · 25m i can't breathe chris and lina??? chris and lina???????? after so long??? CHRISTOPHER AND SELINA???? as in "hello it's chris" "and lina"??? MY BESTIES REUNITED???

june @linafesting · 18m sometimes, i'm convinced lina spins a wheel on how to break the internet today

↳ kat ୨୧ @yamayaps · 2m with all due respect, this stunt was NAUT selina's idea, this was a move that christopher 'no boundaries' yamada suggested

INSTAGRAM

emptybottles_official Olympic Gymnastics Arena

liked by chrisyamada and 334,294 others

emptybottles_official Nowhere as incredible as Seoul! Always special to have @chrisyamada join us on stage. tagged: chrisyamada

chrisyamada someone better return the favor later 👀 ↳ selinabui @chrisyamada u begged me to let u come what are u on ↳ chrisyamada @ selinabui ok maybe i did

pi4str1 ok someone catch me up bc i did not know chris and lina were friends??? ↳ linasgirl4 @pi4str1 it's probably best we don't get into it

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

taglist @ririyulife @ashy-kit @fionaschicken @namgification @cherry-piee

[jamiepaige]

Constant Companions Closeup #7: AGGRANDICIZE

(also on spotify!)

There's no other way to intro this song - TAKE IT AWAY, TIKTOK VOICE

---

It's a hot and muggy night in Texas, mid-July of 2022.

In my dream, I am somewhere else entirely - A room in the city of Chicago, nestled somewhere high up amongst a countless number of high-rises, aesthetically somewhere between an upscale apartment, an art gallery, and a concert hall. Wide-open windows reveal the landscape of glass and steel spires, light bouncing between reflective surfaces indiscriminately and ultimately making it into the space I'd found myself in.

A good few souls were gathered here, many in suits holding notepads and handheld recorders, others in the flamboyantly-casual wear you might expect from a rock star invited to a press event. A song was playing at modest volume over an unseen sound system, an achingly familiar arrangement steadily ticking away at mid-tempo, drums striking with exacting precision upon each downbeat.

I held in my hand a phone, open to a familiar looking website. I don't recall most the actual words - it was a dream, there likely weren't any - but I recall it in broad strokes, with one specific detail, so I'll do my best to recreate the experience below.

i don't know if any of these shapes actually mean anything i just scribbled things down because i remember there being a row of Something there

"Some might bemoan this newest foray into glossy, baroque art pop as being simply a cheap Kate Bush impersonation," our dream reviewer wrote. "For Jamie, though, I believe she'd take this as a compliment."

And yes, I would. That's the kind of artist you're grateful to be mentioned in the same breath as! That being said, like, huh? That's not even how you spell aggrandize. What?

I woke up with a singular mission.

---

In this day and age, "being a star" is a strangely democratized concept. Everyone is a celebrity, with a brand image to maintain and an audience to cater to and a compelling story arc to be followed. Fandom manifests in all its beautiful and nightmarish aspects even in amounts of tens of people.

Maybe it's my boomer dadrock-loving parents, or my childhood obsession with the game Rock Band, or some chemical imbalance, or simply some toxic nostalgia manifest, but part of me couldn't help but crave it.

I wanted it to be true!! The romantic idea of the musician, touring nonstop in beatup vans across entire continents, pouring their heart out on stage and in recording booths, seeing their name up in lights and embossed in gilded vinyl records, finding constant companionship secondhand. Obviously, reality is so much messier than that, but honestly, it's a dream I've never really been able to let go of - being a star.

I shouldn't have to tell you how out of touch with reality that ideal is. That doesn't stop the dreams from coming.

The subject Aggrandicize is written for, that the lyrics are addressed to, is fame itself. To be wanted, to be dissected, to be bleached and recycled ad infinitum, to be subject to the churning violent machine of fame; To be forever just out of sight, to lack the luck, to bleed and bleed and bleed until you're nothing and not even get a single inch closer to that goal because it's impossible and it's not even what you want. Doesn't it sound like paradise? To tower over reality itself, a redwood tree amongst bushes and ferns? To take this image and stretch, to grow so big gravity revolves around you? To be more brand than body? To be a star?

I don't need that. I don't want that, even if I think I do. Maybe I want to want you to want me, but it is an ideal destined to rot me from the inside out and drain me for every ounce of blood. I just want to make music! And honestly, the path I've gone down has proven that I can have my cake and eat it, too - Playing live at Digital Stars earlier this year was one of the most gratifying and fulfilling experiences I've ever had in my life. I can make better memories by following where my art takes me, memories without 'fame' and 'fortune', memories of light and connection and getting in a room with a bunch of people who know the lyrics and singing my fucking heart out alongside them.

...

Basically, I own a TikTok account, but it'll be a cold day in hell before I ever use it.

---

This song, like many others I've written, was created primarily through assembling a bunch of piecemeal ideas I'd amassed over a couple years of demos. In particular, it borrows a lot from On Fire, a song I wrote for a song jam hosted by Fourth Strike Records back in 2021! I couldn't really tell you why, but I just keep returning to this song over and over - first with Encore, and now with this... Thankfully, I think I've exhausted this font of ideas at this point.

Aggrandicize, somewhat fittingly, is also the song that gave me the most technical trouble on this entire release - I think I genuinely went back and reworked the mix some fifty-odd times before finally giving up and just sending it as-is. I'm still somewhat unhappy with the final result, but hey, the only difference between a work-in-progress and a finished piece is what you call it, I guess.

This is another song I've had a lot of MV ideas for, and that may very well still see a video if I decide to go that route! There's a couple concepts that I've floated, including possibly an animated/animatic type video, but the original concept was to do a whole shitload of fake brainrot tiktoks and film them playing off a phone synced up to the music. That idea never took off, mostly because I couldn't bring myself to do all that, but there's exactly one remnant I'd like to share.

That's it for today!! If you have any questions, I'll gladly answer them below, but otherwise, I'll be back tomorrow to talk about women who love other women with Liaison!

[some-triangles]

SOUNDS OF 2024

My ferret wife and I were driving down 82nd listening to KINK FM 102. If you are not familiar this is a radio station that specializes in a particular vocal type - it's a voice that transcends genre, ranging from alt rock to white blues to what I can only describe as the Mumford zone - but the key point is that you will not understand a word the singer is singing. Think Hootie, or Eddie Vedder. Crunched through car speakers it's a sort of audio spackle that tickles the brain with the occasional half-recognizable phrase.

Every six or seven songs, though, they play a classic from the 80s or 90s. On this day we got lucky and it was Major Tom by Peter Schilling. You don't think you know this song, but you do. It's the one where the chorus goes like

Prior to this moment I'd occasionally gotten the "earth below us" bit stuck in my head without having any idea where it came from. Making the connection activated something in my brain and, consequently, in the youtube algorithm, and for the rest of the year all I cared about was Neue Deutsche Welle.

I fell in love with the singer from Trio - no longer with us, sadly. This is a band that you will know from their international hit Da Da Da Ich Liebe Du Nicht Du Liebes Mich Nicht Aha Aha Aha. If you're my age you'll remember this tune from Pepsi commercials, but like Chumbawamba, Trio were a weird art punk band with a fluke chart topper rather than your standard one-hit wonder.

Stephan Remmler was so fucking handsome, you guys. And his tragic Weimar cabaret clown of a drummer. And his mysterious, weirdly femme guitarist.

So I went on a dive. As a whole there is more cod reggae (kraut reggae?) in the NDW catalog than I'm comfortable with but other than that it's a true flowering of DIY weirdness. Start with 99 Luftballons and just keep going... the wall should never have fallen, you guys. RIP to the gulag archipelago but global culture never recovered from glasnost.

Anyway that's what I was listening to this year, except also Kendrick vs Drake happened and suddenly hip hop is good again. You don't need me to tell you about this - there are ten million youtube essays you can watch. I'd just like to encourage everyone to keep an eye on Tyler the Creator moving up as a dark horse candidate for commercial AND artistic success of next year. And that's the really miraculous thing about Kendrick - I can't remember the last time an album I really liked had five songs in the top 10 at once. Because it's never fucking happened before!

Music nerds bouncing off GNX are cheating themselves out of a rare opportunity to like something popular. (Maybe that's why they're bouncing, actually.) But it's undeniable stuff.

Painfully beautiful, and this isn't even what he's supposed to be best at. Pop music is fun and interesting and deep again. You can't relax for a second - even now that Drake has been chased out of rap into the right wing influencer sphere and courtroom trolling, Things are still happening. Christmas day, Tyler smokes Kendrick on his own beat:

And where's Vince Staples? Surely he's got a statement album coming. I haven't even gotten a chance to listen to scHoolboy Q's Blue Lips enough times for the ink to sink in. I've always been a west coast guy where rap is concerned, mainstream or indie, and I've been eating so good...

It's been a great year for me and music, basically. A lot of this has been due to picking up crumbs from Ferret Wife's Kendrick obsession and various other treats she's brought me. From a creative standpoint I've made nothing ambitious but steadily cranking out jingles and silly parodies has made me a better player and singer than I've ever been, and surely there's a sensitive guitar man album in me waiting to come out.

In the meantime please enjoy my contribution to this year's Exit 605 Christmas Album.

[ascendanttarot]

PAC: Messages From Your Spirit Guides

Hi everyone! This PAC will cover whether your spirit guides have any messages or guidance for you. This is a little shorter than the last PAC but only a little bit, promise! I'll list a few signs for every pile before your reading to ensure you have picked the right pile for yourself. If you resonate with one or more signs, that is meant to be your reading. And! You’ll get a channelled song! :)

Please remember your fate is not set in stone so your answers may change depending on the actions you take and will take if you please. Tarot is not a substitute for professional advice. The images I’ve used are not mine.

From left to right: Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3

Pile 1

Signs:

You play guitar or favour the sound of acoustic guitar in your songs

You listen to the following bands/artists: Hozier, Florence + the Machine, Mitski, and other similar artists

This is a weird one, but when cleaning you like buying the sprays/wipes/detergent with a fruitier smell?

You like going on nature walks

You read poetry

Your cards: The Tower, Queen of Cups rx, (clarified by the Six of Swords rx) Page of Wands

Your message: Something unfolded in ways you could have never imagined. It’s like all your backup plans fell apart too, and your optimism has been taken away from you. I just heard ‘victim of circumstance’. This is a difficult message to give, but your guides are saying whatever happened, happened beyond anyone’s control. You tried to shield yourself from these difficult emotions by hardening your heart, creating distance between you and your feelings... but you’re spirit guides are asking you, “Is this really worth it all?”. It won’t be an easy feat to move on from this situation, and your guides understand that. However, they’re saying that when the time comes and the right opportunity is in front of you to take that first step of healing, please take it. The best part of your life requires a childlike sense of wonder. It’s going to require a lot more determination and ambition than what you’re feeling now. Your guides are saying to take your time to feel messy, and when it’s time to heal, don’t rush yourself to do that too. They’re here for you if you ask them. They believe in you even if you don’t believe in yourself, but they are waiting patiently and happily for a time when you’ll start standing by your back too.

Thank you for letting me be your reader, Pile 1!

Song: In Your Own Sweet Time by Zaska, Karen Cowley and Hozier

Pile 2

Signs:

You have an alternative sense of style

You love 80s music. I just heard Wham and The Cure to name a few of the bands that popped up in my intuition

Odd sign to give, but you may have had a vaporwave phase? If you know, you know

You like Fantasy and Sci-Fi books and shows

Another odd message to give here—you may be sensitive to touch, but it goes both ways? Like you can only wear certain fabrics, or you like soft things, but also people may say you give good hugs

Your Cards: 8 of Swords rx, 6 of Cups, The World

Your Message: I just saw the image of your spirit guides popping open a bottle of champagne with a knife before chucking (yes, that violently) streamers and confetti! You know why? Because. You. Did. That. You’ve just come out of a period in your life when you had to do some intense shadow work. You’ve worked on your biases, and have started to fix your flawed systems on your environment and yourself; your spirit guides could not be more proud of you. They’re celebrating 24 hours a day 7 days a week because that chapter of your life is over! This new phase of your life will be given gently to you with the love and compassion you deserve. I think this may be an opportunity to let yourself be seen by others again. At the very least you’ll be hanging out with old friends and making new ones, but at the most, I’m seeing possibly an opportunity for a project to start online. Either way, your spirit guides will have your back for that in the future. For now, though, they’re asking you to put your feet up and high-five yourself for how far you’ve come!

Thank you for letting me be your reader, Pile 2!

Your Song: Blame It on the Boogie by The Jacksons (I’m serious, they’re having a party right now haha!)

Pile 3

Signs:

You prefer the dusk over the dawn

You like RnB, so artists like Victoria Monét and Ashanti might be familiar artists to have in your playlists. I also heard Destiny’s Child and Ms. Lauryn Hill

I feel like you might like, collect, or work with crystals and metals. I just saw some people here may wear protective jewellery

You like sports, or were heavily involved in sports when you were younger, but you aren’t anymore

I just heard ‘helping hand’, so you may just be a really helpful and generous person. You’d be the friend people go to if they need advice on something

Your Cards: 2 of Wands, 2 of Swords, King of Cups

Your Message: Okay this feels pretty straightforward. Your spirit guides want you to know that you’re coming into a divine partnership (not necessarily romantic if that’s not you’re thing or if you’re aromantic, so this could be a friendship or a business partner even) very soon. With the emphasis on the number two in this reading, this may correlate with timings in your life. You may meet this person in 2 weeks, 2 months, or even within the span of 2 years, but there’s a strong message of divine timing working in your favour. I feel you may have issues trusting the people around you to have good intentions because of negative experiences in the past. This person won’t break that mental belief for you, you’ll do that yourself, but they will certainly be the catalyst for it. Maybe the reason why you’re so jaded is because you’ve hoped for this so long the hope soured to cynicism, but this is not the natural state of your soul. This person will offer you the emotionally mature partnership you’ve dreamed of, with a sensitivity for you and your feelings you aren’t used to. Your spirit guides can’t wait for you to meet them because I’m hearing this relationship will be healing for all the parties involved. They’re with you on this every step of the way.

Thank you for letting me be your reader, Pile 3!

Your Song: Love Is on My Side by Brandy

[vampire-named-gampire]

COC day 16 - Punk

I've been waiting for this one! This is from my unpublished music AU Heartstrings, where Simon is in a punk band. No Baz in this snippet (he does come to Simon's show eventually, but let's save this moment for when the fic is actually out) but there are Simon's band members. I feel like this is the first time I actually managed to write OCs in a way that I'm happy with, which is part of why I'm so excited about this fic. This was beta-ed by the lovely @aristocratic-otter

900 words + I made the band using this picrew

(one of the characters uses she/they pronouns so do not be puzzled by the pronoun jumble in this text)

@carryon-countdown

SIMON

“Ow!” I move away from Bree’s eyeliner pencil.

“Stop moving!” Bree orders me impatiently, grabbing my face and making me hold still. “The less you move the quicker this will be over.”

I try not to squirm as they apply eyeliner under my eye, wondering for the hundredth time why I agreed to do this in the first place. It’s not like anyone’s going to see “how much it makes my eyes pop” if I’m sitting behind the drums. But every now and then, Bree manages to talk me into eyeliner, and unfortunately tonight she was successful.

“There, all done!” Bree pulls back, admiring their work. “It really makes your eyes pop.”

“Simon,” our manager, Jack, walks over, handing me my in-ear monitors. “Stage in 15 minutes, everyone!”

From the other corner of the changing room, Andre whoops. I fuss with my in-ears, clipping the antenna to the back of my trousers and snaking the wires up underneath my shirt. My drumsticks are on the table in the centre of the room and I grab them, flipping them over in my hand. Our stagehand, Phillip, has already put all the extra drumsticks by my drum set, so there’s nothing left for me to do but warm up and wait for us to be called to the stage.

I look around the changing room. Andre and Sebastian are both warming up on their guitars and Bree is getting the strap of her bass adjusted by Jack. We always manage to make the changing room incredibly messy between soundcheck and the actual show, but it’s mainly Bree’s makeup and clothes. Bree studies fashion and is basically a pre-show stylist for us all (especially me). Sebastian manages most of our finances and social media, because he’s already so well versed in it from being a tattoo artist. I usually help out the most in the studio, because I took an audio production elective when I was still at Watford. And we all say Andre is the one who’s eventually going to get us into some bad press the next time they catch him arguing with coppers or pissing in the Thames (or arguing with coppers about pissing in the Thames). We all have our job in the band, kinda. I like that. It gives us structure. And we’re not famous enough to be able to afford a lot of crew. 

I go into the corridor, as there’s no space in the changing room and start tapping some rhythms against the wall with my drumsticks. I’ve already done some warm-ups before Bree started their eyeliner campaign, so I’m feeling quite good before going on stage.

Well, I feel fucking terrified. But I always do. No amount of performing ever helps with my pre-show jitters—I’ve just gotten used to it. The first five seconds between walking out and sitting behind your instrument are the most nerve-wracking; after that,  it’s okay. Once I sit down, I know what to do.

“Simon, it’s time.” Jack steps out of the changing room to fetch me.  The rest of the band is already standing in a circle in the middle of the room. Sebastian waves at me as I enter and I huddle under his arm.

“Alright, boys and esteemed enbies,” Andre starts. “Remember, we’re announcing the tour tonight. Also, this stage is a little smaller, so we’ll just have to love each other a little more than usual tonight. It would be ideal if nobody fell into Simon’s drums this time, but if you feel the urge, who am I to stop you?”

We all laugh. Andre’s pre-show speeches are always ridiculous. And I don’t think Sebastian is ever going to live down accidentally tripping against my drum set the last time we played in this venue.

“Okay, let’s crush this. Chosen ones!”

“Chosen ones!” we all repeat. I tuck in my in-ear monitors as we exit the changing room and walk down the corridor towards the stage. Our opening starts playing on the speakers and I can hear the crowd cheering. My heart starts beating faster.

We line up to take the stage, me first, and I can feel Sebastian behind me clap my shoulder. I take a deep breath. Now that we’re behind the stage, I can feel the crowd, not just hear it. I can feel its pulse, its heat and I try to take in its energy instead of letting my own nerves swallow me whole.

“Three, two, one…” Jack sounds in my in-ear monitors. “Simon, enter.”

I run onto the stage just as the spotlights turn on and the crowd goes wild. I raise my hands to greet them, and then sit down behind the drums.

Okay, the most terrifying moment is over now. I take in the crowd. The Cloisters is a tiny venue, but it’s filled wall-to-wall now, fuller than I’ve ever seen it. I can see Shepard, Penny’s boyfriend, in the pit between the stage and the barrier, taking pictures with his camera. I know Penny is also somewhere in the back, manning the merch table.

I watch as the other band members come on stage, Sebastian, Bree, and lastly Andre, who garners the biggest applause. We launch right into our first song, Your attention please. I can feel all my nerves leaving my body now that I can finally play, and I allow myself to get lost in the adrenaline of it all. And no one even trips against my drum set this time.

***

OC pics!

Andre (vocals/guitar/shenanigans)

Sebastian (guitar/social media/half of Andre's tattoos)

Bree (bass/fashion/Irish)

Simon but he has a mullet (sue me) (drums/audio production/unrecognized piano talent)

[hello-nichya-here]

Girl.... Imma need all the tea abt Michael's brothers being leaches.

I do remember that one of them said that there wouldn't be no Michael Jackson without Jackson 5. BFFR. omg.

Just look at Spotify monthly listeners. I tend to compare artists who debuted at the same time and if they are still alive or not.

Marlon Jackson: 945

Jackie Jackson: 1'180

Tito Jackson: 15'148

Jermaine Jackson: 771'648

The Jacksons: 2'862'021

The Jackson 5: 8'607'046

Michael Jackson: 43'067'506

I know Spotify listeners aren't everything in terms of success or talent. Just look how Selena Gomez supposedly has more than Beyonce. But here I mean the gap is huge.

And the fact they NEEDED him for the Victory Tour otherwise no one would have showed up.

...Anon, I'm gonna be honest here, I completely forgot Jermaine wasn't the only of MJ's brothers to try and have his own solo career. And it says a lot that even though he was the most sucessful of MJ's brothers, he was nowhere near as relevant as he wanted to be - let alone as relevant as Michael.

Also, I know that showbusiness is cruel, especially to child stars, and the music industry is super unfair and buries really talented artists while promoting others that are not even good - but lets not kid ourselves here.

Like you said, the very fact that they had to drag him into that tour to make it relevant already says a lot - but there's even more to that. Michael decided, on his own, that this was going to be the LAST tour, and announced it at the last concert, without discussing it with anyone. He didn't just quit, he essentially ended the group.

They tried to carry on without him a few years later, and it went nowhere because nobody cared about them if Michael wasn't there. Meanwhile, he had random dancers/back-up singers stand in for his brothers whenever he'd ocasionally perform "his" old songs, and nobody except their mom ever complained. I strongly suspect some people didn't even notice - first time I watched some of the performances of the Bad Era, I sure didn't.

They had a reunion in 2001 - in some concerts to celebrate MICHAEL's career, with a moment dedicated to some Jackson 5/the Jackson's hits. They tried for a reunion and their own TV show in 2009 - the same time Michael's final tour was supposed to happen. When Michael died, all the interest in the projects of his brother's died too, with their proper reunion only happening a few years later... in a tribute to Michael.

But by far the biggest evidence that Michael didn't need them was Motown 25. He performed with his brothers, and even though he was obviously the star, they were still great, truly fucking awesome, you can clearly tell they are all giving it all their talent and energy.

Then he performed Billie Jean and did the moonwalk without a breaking a sweat and it was like his brothers never existed. Their big moment was Michael's warm up, and his big moment had him on stage by himself, singing the biggest hit of his SOLO career, overshadowing everything that came before it.

The only one of his siblings that ever managed to not be in his shadow was Janet. And even then, despite being HUGE, she was not KING OF POP huge. Probably because literally nobody else, before or since, could do what Michael did.

For fuck's sake, look at "We Are The World." Pretty much every famous singer of the decade was there, every single one of them giving it their all - and Michael is still clearly the star, because he wasn't just better than his siblings, he was better than everybody.

And I think that's the reason why his brothers never fully let go of all their envy. Pretty much everyone in that family exploited Michael for his money/relevance, but since his brothers were once his bandmates, they felt full on entitled towards not just Michael's money, but his career in general - because their time as a band was the most sucess they were ever gonna achieve, but it was quickly becoming just "Michael Jackson's early years, when he was not as famous as he is right now, but was already way more famous than his brothers will ever be." They were dependent on him, and were now being told "No, he won't let you all tag along forever."

Hence them demanding to be part of "Off The Wall" and getting mad when Michael didn't let them, making him tour with them singing the band's biggest hits instead of doing a tour for Thriller, fucking raiding his house for valluable stuff, using his money to buy mansions for themselves and raise their kids/pay child support, claiming that if things had been just slightly different their own solo careers totally could have been just as big as Michael's, etc.

It wasn't just that their sibling slowly became way better than them and eventually didn't need them to be sucessful. Michael NEVER needed them. He was always the star, the one people were more interested in, the one with the most talent, and eventually he realized that, if he continued letting his family pressure him into ignoring his own goals and focused on "paying his debt to his siblings (and father)" he was at best going to be held back forever so his brother's could stay relevant at his expense, and at worst he'd ruin his own career completely just so they could all fail together and his brother's egos would be spared.

Again, see how HE basically ended the band (or at least the version the public actually cared about). To them, it wasn't Michael going solo, it was him kicking them out. Like they would have TOTALLY made Thriller with him, or could have each done it on their own. Like his solo works are theirs by extention just because they used to do things as a group, and therefore they deserve the profit and the credit for something they were not involved in.

Joseph, of course, did not fucking help make the situation any better. I already mentioned all the physical abuse he put his children through during reharsals, but there's one more thing: he'd sometimes deliberately compare his other sons to Michael when they made a mistake while dancing or singing, to make them feel worse about themselves for not being as good as their brother. OBVIOUSLY that led to a ton of misplaced resentment towards their sibling for them, and to Michael feeling guilty about something that wasn't his fault.

Joseph is also the person who taught them their very warped idea of "family." He had always said that family was the most important thing in the world - because he was one of these parents who believed that, since he was responsible for them being alive, they owed him literally EVERYTHING and thus had to put up with EVERYTHING.

He wanted to beat them with a belt whenever they did anything wrong? They should just shut up and endure it, it's just discipline, and they wouldn't be going through that if they could just do what they're told.

He wants to control their careers, have "his share" of their money, and then use said money to cheat on their mother? Doesn't matter, he is still the man of the house if he's not the one making the money, and thus they owe him respect and shouldn't meddle on what he does with his life.

Michael is clearly depressed about all the trauma he was put through and the childhood that was stolen from him? Oh please, he should be thankful that he was made to work like a dog for most of his life, it's the thing that has allowed the whole family to live not just comfortably, but luxuriously - with his money. That he totally only made because of Joseph, so they really don't owe anything to Michael.

It's really no surprise that, after being raised by that man, Michael's brothers turned out the way they did. Their complaints were "God, he told me to buy a smaller house since I can't afford a mansion instead of buying said mansion for me, the watch he gave me for my birthday is only worth ONE million dollars instead of two, and he will only let us do a medley of our Jackson 5 hits during his show, not tour with us again, how selfish!" meanwhile Michael was complaining that since everyone, including his own family, was only ever thinking of how being close to him would benefit their image/lead to them making money, he was incredibly lonely and miserable.

Nine times out of ten, Michael helped his family out of "obligation" - because that's what they turned their relationship into. A transaction, a contract. Michael "paying his debt" to people that cared about his money and fame so much that they often forgot he was a person that, even after all they did, STILL loved them.

But I guess "We are totally responsible for his sucess, and in fact could have totally been just as famous" is a much more pleasant version of the story than "We completely failed our brother, and we should thank God everyday that he never fully broke free of this AWFUL family, because otherwise we'd be broke and even more irrelevant."

[dojae-huh]

why do you think there's this disparity between doyoung as taeyong promos overall as soloists (that all fuels the fire to the already existent akgae fanwars) ? not blaming doyoung but just curious i guess sm doesn't see potential for ty to reach the gp meanwhile doyoung has and is doing it

but TY had a full album ready but sm decided to go with a mini for tap meanwhile DY released a full album on his debut

jut wanna discuss

The main reason is that Taeyong went to the military. He will dissapear from the public's eye for two years. It's a huge time period in SK. Idols fear they won't comeback to their level of pre-enlistment popularity for a reason. Taeyong also talked a lot about this fear. Of being forgotten.

There is no point investing in trying to catch new fans if they won't be given easy means to develop real interest (media and tv appearences, concerts, merch, new albums).

Just think of how JaeDo are believed to be a dead ship by newer fans because there is little concent from thm. It is the older fans, who knew JaeDo pre 2020, are still very dedicated. It is the same idea with Tae and his core fans. The fans he already has will wait for him. The viewers of TV-shows he could have appeared in - will not care.

Secondly, the time of album preparation. Taeyong had to release early, before his enlistment. He even had to shoot his MV in Japan, and discuss arrangement of his songs deep in the night, half awake. He had no time to go on many programmes.

There is little need, really, to introduce Taeyong. Everyone knows he is a great rapper and dancer. He is front and centre in 127 MVs, he has his own multiple performance clips, features, special stages, solo stages (Super M, Link). If someone develops an interest "hm, is this guy any good as an artist?", there is no lack of material for them to watch on YT. Meanwhile there are so called NCTzens who don't think Doyoung can sing that well. Do needs to be introduced as a real deal. And away from k-pop, as a soloist he sings in other genres (pop-rock and band music). Lots of live singing clips thus are needed. There was a comment "YT keeps offering me vids with this guy, is he OK? he sings so much" (paraphrasing).

Tae has lots of tiktoks for Tap era. Fans of other idols he danced with had seen those reels. Thai actors did his challenge a lot. His promotion works on TT, on the internet, through virality (remember the case with "Zoo") and inside k-pop sphere. He has always caught people's eye by looks and moves alone.

Doyoung, on the other hand, is known to general public as a variety personality. His potential audience as a soloist, people who like ballads, Korean music, go to festivals and musicals, don't find new artists on tiktok. Melon top100 chart, YT programmes, TV programmes with live singing are what they tap into.

Do got a concert tour because he wants to sing as much as possible, to be in a band. Tae got a fanmeet tour because he wanted the love from the fans, the reassurance that they will stay before his dissapearence. (Plus, as I said before, he should have been busy with 127 preparations in March).

Doyoung came up with the way he wants to see his promotions unfold. Documentaries, medleys - his idea. He supervised it. He pushed for more.

Fans count numbers, but forget about contents. Taeyong's promo clips were very innovative, fun, effort was put in developing them. Wasn't his abduction video memorable? Despite very pressing circumstances, very short time to work, Tae's comeback was of high quality (photoshoots, the MV, stages, his 2 day concert was prepared better than Link).

Shooting singing Doyoung five times is not a big deal, it is easy to increase the number of uploaded promotional material. Heh, antis counted "medley clips" as content, when it is just a track playing over a circled on itself short video of nature (that you buy on stock sites).

Taeyong had two albums in the same year. Who gets two albums same year right away? Even Baekhyun didn't. And fans dare complain.

Tae had songs he wrote in thepast. However, those songs needed to be re-recorded and remastered. We've seen it in bts video. Either there was no time to record enough songs for a full album, or Tae's songs were lacking/didn't fit the overall sound of the album. Remember how DJJ re-recorded "Ordinary" a year later (we can sing better now), how "Can we go back" was re-arranged for the album (bless, the track was saved for me). Songs take time, SM works up to 6 months on one song.

[anewbrainjughead]

I saw you down the Elton John tag and couldn't help but reply but I think you're right, remembering Freddie Mercury feels weird because he doesn't feel he has been gone as long as he has been just because his presence is still here ( I can't explain why or how though ) he is remembered in a way no past artist has been, Queen as a band and Freddie individually have transcended relevity in a way no one has before. It's a wonder how more that could have been if he was still alive.

And Freddie never knew about that impact, his bandmates and his other friends have said that Freddie would have been surprised and could have never imagined people remembering him decades after his death.

Right! His legacy is so interesting to think about bc obviously he is still a massively important cultural icon, especially within the LGBT+ community, but he died so young that there's just a gaping hole left where decades of music and public appearances and life was supposed to be.

I can't help but wonder how he, or at least the public persona of Freddie Mercury, might have interacted with a considerably more progressive public. I know he was pretty private about his personal life and there's every chance that he would have continued to be very private had he lived, but he died in 1991! And he died of a deeply stigmatised illness that the government was letting kill people because the people it was killing weren't worth saving.

He exists in such a weird space in pop culture bc he was the front man of a super mainstream band in a genre of music beloved by straight dudes who wanna hear some other straight dude do an insane guitar riff so they can feel macho and cool, but he died tragically young of the scary gay disease that a lot of those dudes make south park jokes about.

Elton John also made very mainstream pop music, but straight 13 year old boys were never smugly wearing Elton John t shirts the way that they wear queen t shirts, and Elton John is still alive and still in charge of his own legacy and narrative.

When they made a film about Elton John he was alive to have his input and approve and deny whatever he wanted. The big biopic with Freddie Mercury in it is just a cinematic depiction of an ageing rock bands ongoing struggle to refuse to come to terms with how much more everyone else cares about the front man who has been dead for 3 decades than they do about the surviving members.

Idk. I don't really have a point, i just do think about it quite a lot.

[married-2-the-music]

Tell Me What To Do; A Letter To Jonghyun

If you’ve ever stumbled across one of my posts before, you’ll probably know me as a (maybe somewhat harsh) reviewer, who will always take the chance to rhapsodize about harmonizing and complain about Dynamite. But that’s not what this is; I did write a review about JH’s work but this is different; I want to start off not with my “credentials” but with a story. I’ve been a casual k-pop fan since early 2019 through BLACKPINK and a deeper fan since March of the year after, when I discovered Red Velvet.

In late November of 2020, during lockdown, I lost one of the people I loved most in the world. I was still a teenager (barely younger than he was when he debuted in SHINee), and I felt alone and isolated in that grief. Just three weeks later, on December 18th, three years ago now, I was scrolling on social media when I came across posts memorializing Jonghyun. I had heard his name mentioned, through Yeri of Red Velvet, but had never taken the time to really listen, and I finally did.

It gives me no joy to say that I discovered that he had made a plan; his last album, Poet | Artist was released just a month after he chose to leave the world, a final gift to the fans who had watched him grow up for both so long and not nearly long enough. When I looked closer, I saw people mourning, people celebrating, and most of all, people remembering. The k-pop world had just lost two more idols to suicide, Sulli (Choi Jinri, of f(x)), and Hara (Goo Hara, of KARA), and the messages surrounding mental health had never been stronger. It was this that finally got through to me, like a lightbulb going off, and I went, “Shit. I think I have depression.”

Now, I’m not going to credit him with saving my life because I have no idea what would’ve happened, but to this day, it’s Jonghyun’s voice that sings “tell me what to do” on the 6:45 alarm reminding me to take my anti-depressants. To this day, it’s his music that I turn to when I need comfort. In his memory, I try to continue what he did for me. I take December 18th as a day to be just a little bit of a better person—a better sister, a better daughter, and a better friend both to others and to myself—as much as I possibly can.

Jonghyun’s discography is only five albums, less than three hours long. The mere fact of this makes me sad. I wish I could tell a story with a happier ending, one that I finish by saying that he’s still here, still on his 27th collection of wonderful stories, still teasing the hell out of the band members who loved him more than anything, still being a dork who brightens everyone’s day with the same humor that made me laugh for the first time in a month the first time I came across it.

But, no matter how good of a writer I think I am, I can’t do that. All I can do is what all of us can do, which is remember who he was, respect the art he created, and continue the great advocacy he started. In this, I’m trying to do all three.

I can’t really put into words the feelings I have about this. Writing it has reminded me how grateful I am, not only that I found Jonghyun and his story, not only that I became a Shawol, but that I became a k-pop fan in general. After finding SHINee, I became a fan of Gfriend, Girls Generation, Seventeen, (G)I-DLE, Stray Kids, Sunmi, and, of course, Dreamcatcher, whose music is now a part of me too.

I know that I’ve probably made this way more about me than it should’ve been, but I’d like to end by saying this: I know that k-pop (and being a fan of it) are seen as something to mock, something only done by insecure, screeching teenage girls with too much free time on their hands who are obsessed with random men they’ve never met. And maybe that is who I was in 2019.

But to me now, and so many other people I know, it is stories like mine that are the real reason why we choose to dedicate so much of our precious free time to something that so many people deem childish. I’m a linguistics major, and I can tell you firsthand that music is one of very few things that can break a language barrier and reach people across the world. Had Jonghyun’s not reached me, I don’t know where I’d be. But I wouldn’t be here, and I definitely wouldn’t be a linguistics major. As he wrote in his book, “Even though we can’t communicate using the same language, we use music instead.”

Jonghyun broke boundaries in k-pop, with his openness, his self-producing, his prolific writing, his advocacy, and, of course, his incredible kindness. Both our community and the world as a whole were very lucky to have him for as long as we did, which still wasn’t nearly long enough. He changed the lives of so many people—he changed mine, without me even knowing the word “K-pop” at the time he passed away—and overall, he made the world just a little easier for everybody else, no matter how hard it was for himself. Whenever I have my bad days, I listen to his music; I ask him to tell me what to do. And I make myself a promise: that whatever I do, I will never make the decision that he did.

Whether he’s out there and whether he’s listening or not, I’d just like to say thank you, Jonghyun, for changing my life. You did so, so, well, and, in an odd way, I’m incredibly proud of you and all you managed to accomplish despite the kind of pain you went through. I hope that, even though we never got the chance to meet, you would be proud of me too.

And thank you, for taking the time to read this. I hope that whoever you are and whatever Jonghyun means to you, you find a little comfort in the fact that you are not alone in it. However you want to grieve (or not grieve) is valid. If you’ve never heard of our wonderful singer before, take this as a sign to take ten minutes to learn something about a truly beautiful human.

And if you have, take this as a reminder to take your medication, get some sleep, and check in with your friends. Though Jonghyun thought that what he did was the only way out, he was wrong, because I’ve been there. I’m still there, sometimes. But take this as reassurance that it’ll get better. It might not be better tomorrow and it might not be better for a while. But it will get better.

Happy holidays, folks. Take care of yourselves out there. Tschüss and Fröhliche Weihnachten!

[alexstorm]

Not sure that has anything to do with PR. You can't make people love certain songs if they don't // actually, you kinda can. Yeah you can’t shove a bad song down their throat, but when an album, song, movie, any other product that needs to sell, is hyped up enough people will realize that they like it. No we don’t want AM to be Harry, but I mean, look at Taylor Swift’s last album receiving better ratings from critics than The Car. Is it actually THAT good?! Is it really better than her previous albums?! Imo, this one and the previous ones are equally good. And The Car is even better, imo. But the hype she creates and receives makes people like her recent work just as older ones. If she quietly just dropped it her fans would only be interested in her older albums, like 1989. And she didn’t even do as many interviews as AM last year, just a couple of late night shows. Fans do the a lot of the work but you can’t deny the artist also has to create the hype in the first place. AM should hype up their last albums in smart ways, instead of sending Matt to do interviews telling people that they’re never gonna make a song like R U Mine again. Ok we get it, you don’t have to say it for the 100th time. Now she people that your new sound is equally good, if not even better. I heard Beyoncé performed almost all of the songs on her last album in some of her concerts recently, her album wasn’t the most successful one of the year or her career but she’s also doing something about it. Fans who go to her concerts will hear those songs and might decide to give it a(nother) try. AM just decided they’re gonna snub TBHC or the Car and dedicate most of the setlist to +10 y/o songs. Sorry for the long rant Xx

But what you're talking about is promotion, not PR. And we all know AM isn't big on promotion. Alex literally started his career by saying "don't believe the hype". So he's also not into creating some artificial hype just to sell more albums. Tbh, I love that he's arrogant enough to say "if they don't like it I'm not gonna try" instead of being an eager pop star and trying to sell his music to everyone. Again, we all got the album at home (I even just ordered the vinyl). Alex couldn't care less if people take a beer break as they already paid for the ticket. He's got their money.

We also need to get away from that thinking that an album has to be an immediate hit after release. Mariah Carey's All I Want For Christmas reached number one 25 years after its release. Another one of my favourite non-English speaking bands hit number one with one of their songs after 22 years. Some songs/albums need to stew and be rediscovered. Only history will tell us who will be remembered for their talent to write or their talent to sell.

[gift-of-orzhova]

Top 10 2023

[note: I started writing this at the end of 2023 but i never finished it, and honestly i don't think i intend to. But i also immensely enjoy what i have written here so i want to publish it anyways. Gonna leave it as is and just get it out there. I remembered it had been sitting in my drafts as I was making my 2024 playlist. I was tempted to switch some of the songs around here to better fit the way my emotions have latched onto some of these tracks, but i kind of like the way these playlists are windows into the past so I'm leaving it]

2023 was such an interesting year. I came out as trans and have since experienced both some of the greatest points in my life and also some of the most stressful. And I know that being trans doesn't necessarily have anything to directly do with music, but if you're like me, then your identity shapes a lot of who you are, and it permeates everything in your life. It's like now that I'm trans I look at everything through a new lens. Including the music that I listen to. For me this year, I found a lot of new things to like. A new genre of music to dive into and a new band that has become one of my favorites. And also a lot of new good dance and pop music, which has been my wheelhouse for the better part of a decade. Some artists I've been following for a while had big years too, and their music helped to define my highs and lows of 2023.

As I've been doing, I made a playlist with my top 10 songs on Spotify, you can find that here if you are interested. And now on to the list-

Album of the Year

kidsgonemad! - ISOxo

Four years ago when Knock2 and ISOxo released Radial, everyone in the scene knew that they would be something someday. That both of them would, some day find themselves at the front the dance music genre along with the big names that have been dominating the industry since 2010. And sure enough, here we are. ISOxo did the mix for a track on Skrillex's album from this year, Quest for Fire, and Knock2 released a track with Dillon Francis called buttons! I'm excited to see what collabs they both have lined up for next year. But their work with other, already well established artists is not the draw for me alone. Their solo work has been incredible to watch unfold as well. Nightrealm and 2HEARTs showed that these two weren't just destined to blend into an already bustling scene, but that they had something to prove. And prove it they have. kidsgonemad! is genuinely a work of genius by Julian Isorena, from start to finish the album is gripping. With tracks to be latched onto both by people who want the classic ISOxo trap bangers and also people who want a new angle at the California producers' style more in line with industry trends. It delivers on both ends, with clear personality running through every single track on the album.

I have always enjoyed albums with a clear sonic and visual palette, that elaborate on typical songs from their genre, and cohesively combine the experience into something greater than the sum of its parts. Especially when they meld it all together and create something surprisingly emotional. Something almost subversive for its genre. From Porter Robinson breaking the chains of his expectations with Worlds to G Jones rising up to champion the void with The Ineffable Truth. I find these genre defining albums with clear visual and sonic through lines to be so evocative. You can feel the story being told with each new song, and you weren't expecting it to reach that innermost part of you until it suddenly does and you realize you aren't the same person you were before you experienced the piece of work. This was genuinely how I felt listening to kidsgonemad!, like I would be forever changed by its existence. And already it's one of my favorites, not just from this year but overall.

Photography soaked in moonlit film grain leads the listener through four on the floor kicks and haunting melodies, like a flare guiding you through the pitch black night. This atmosphere permeates the album, inviting you into the chaos, and reassuring you the whole way through. The production cuts between styles seamlessly, from techno and hardstyle, to trap and wave. There's something here for most dance music lovers. Parts of the album are surprisingly emotional too, leaving the listener to ponder what it means to feel alive, and what our purpose is amongst the stars. Memorable moments happen frequently enough that talking about each of them would simply take too long. The final song of the album, growing pains, does particularly stand out though. As a reprise of the melody from the album's titular song plays, Julian's voice, heavy with effects says "I'm gonna make it someday, someday." And it isn't a question, it's a statement. He is going to make it. In many ways, he already has. His influence on the dance music scene has been a joy to watch, and as he climbs higher I'm excited to see that influence continue. It is without a doubt to me that one day people will know his name the same way that they know the names of Skrillex, Zedd, and Disclosure. And I look forward to that day, each time I listen to kidsgonemad!

EP of the Year

The Fear of Fear - Spiritbox

Earlier this year I had a period of nostalgia where I listened to old Paramore and Linkin Park for a week or two. But unlike other times in the past when this has happened, it kind of led me down a journey. While chatting about it with some friends, they brought up What Separates Me From You by A Day To Remember, an album and band which I hadn't really listened to much. But after our discussion I checked it out and ended up really liking a couple tracks off the album as well as a single the band released last year called Miracle. And after listening to metal-adjacent punk music I felt like digging into the genre of metal a bit more. I'd always been intrigued by it, but for some reason I hadn't found the time or proper headspace to really dive into it fully, despite my love for aggressive and emotional music. This led me towards The Fall of Ideas by All That Remains and then into As Daylight Dies by Killswitch Engage, both of which were bands I had heard of previously but not listened to. I was having a great time with these albums when a friend of mine mentioned Spiritbox to me. Soon enough I got around to listening to Eternal Blue, and I fell in love. The lead vocalist, Courtney LaPlante has an absolutely incredible voice, both for singing and for screaming. Spiritbox's music hits both melodic tracks and heavy tracks with precision, creating a lot of depth and dynamics in their work. I had Yellowjacket and Circle With Me in my head for a month I think, and I was loving every second.

Then I noticed another track on their Spotify page called The Void, it had been released in April of this year. I found myself listening to it on repeat during midnight walks through my neighborhood. Something about the way Courtney sings take a walk to the water at night just calls to my soul in a way I cannot describe. The track is a jamming piece of melodic metalcore with an almost drum n bass reminiscent beat to it, and it leaves you waiting for more. I wouldn't have to wait long to get more either, as only a week or two later they released their now Grammy nominated track, Jaded. This song is a bit heavier than The Void, but still with a lot of melodic elements to contrast Courtney screaming it's never enough. This one also found it's way into my song rotation for a while, more and more I found myself just soaking in the miasma of this bands music. And I found my emotional state being comforted by it as well. This was all around the time that I was preparing to come out to my mom, and I was stressed as fuck. Their music ended up being a great release; something beautiful and emotionally satisfying to cling to while I was stressed and anxious. I followed their twitter and found out that they would be dropping the full EP in early November, I couldn't wait. And when it released and I had the chance to listen to it I just immediately fell in love. I ended up purchasing the vinyl and replacing the copy of The Ineffable Truth that was in a frame on my wall with it. Now The Fear of Fear sits next to Worlds above my computer monitors.

Like I alluded to earlier, something Spiritbox does incredibly well is manage the energy level of their tracks to create a well paced and dynamic experience. The heavy tracks punch you in the face and the melodic tracks entrance you under a moonlit sky. This was something I noticed listening to Eternal Blue, and it remains true in The Fear of Fear. The 6 song EP has some of the best pacing and cleanest track to track transitions that I have ever heard. It starts with Cellar Door, an almost violent track with heavy screams. This was a track that I initially wasn't huge on but ended up really getting into. At first it sounds almost off beat but then the bass kicks in and it takes hold, picking up energy as Courtney screams close the loophole. This energy is carried through until Jaded, which begins to add melodic elements to the EP. It also marks the entry of several themes that grow throughout the album. A crimson key haunts Courtney's soul and she states I know where I want to go, but it's too close, and it's too late this time. These elements are brought up repeatedly throughout the EP, including in the next song which is called Too Close / Too Late. This is the first fully melodic track on the EP, with no screaming in sight. For me this track has a few specific lines that stick out, the first being the title of the EP, the second being is this what you want me to be, perfect and clean. This sentiment echoes into my body in a way that I'm sure a lot of other queer people dealing with their frustrating families can understand. Too Close / Too Late fades perfectly into Angel Eyes, which although being a powerful and well produced song, is my least favorite on the EP. Angel Eyes is the final heavy track in the project, leading the way into The Void, which I discussed previously. The final track on the EP, called Ultraviolet, is my favorite. It's an ephemeral journey through time, and the perfect conclusion to the album. The way this track wraps up all the previously opened themes is nothing short of incredible, with some of the final lines of the EP shifting the lyrics in Jaded to you know where you want to go, never too close, never too late, there's always time.

The door in front of you appears to be locked. The crimson key tries to make you hesitate, it's always just out of reach, but dangling right in front of you. You feel as if you don't belong, but you do belong. Both here and in every other timeline. It's never too late to open the door, you never even needed a key. I feel like I don't even need to really explain this for it to make sense, but both Ultraviolet and the EP as a whole, feel so incredibly queer to me and it makes me very happy. Whether it was intended that way or not isn't something I can answer, but the journey through this EP matches up with my own experiences coming out as trans over the last year surprisingly well. From the excruciatingly painful moments of anxiety to the times I spent standing in front of a mirror feeling incredible euphoria. I just feel it all reflected here, and the euphoria being the high note at the end that opens the door connects with me on such a deep and personal level. This will be an EP I go to during difficult emotional times for the next few years, and the already very strong emotional connection I feel to it will only grow during that time. I am so glad I discovered this band, their music makes me so happy. Thanks for helping me get through this year Spiritbox, I can't wait to see what color you choose next.

Other Notable Albums and EPs

Quest For Fire - Skrillex

Skrillex szn started early in the year, with this album releasing in February. He actually released two albums back to back and this is my favorite. Skrillex's production prowess and impeccable mixing skills take center stage through a tracklist of wall to wall bangers.

Something To Give Each Other - Troye Sivan

I was always on the cusp of being a Troye fan, he had a couple songs I liked but it wasn't consistent enough for me to get super excited about his music. But not anymore, this album is such a genuine expression of queer joy, just listening to it makes me happy. I am very firmly a fan now and look forward to continuing to support his music and creative vision going forward.

SUPERBLOOM - Silent Planet

Found this one about a month ago via Spiritbox giving them a shoutout on twitter. It was good on first listen, but after repeated listens it's one of my favorite metal albums ever. There's so many fantastic songs on here, picking a favorite is hard.

Forward Only - Sublab

This one has also only been out about a month, but I found myself listening to it on repeat for like a week.

Top 10 Songs

There's a handful of other notable albums and EPs this year that I enjoyed, but largely this was a year for discovery of older, already existing albums for me. This list however, only ever includes songs and albums that were released within the last year. There were a lot of great songs though, and like most years cutting the list down to 10 was really challenging, but I think I've got my list for the year.

1. Leave Me Like This - Skrillex, Bobby Raps

One week after the 2023 began, Skrillex shadow dropped a new song with Flowdan and Fred Again.. called Rumble. Over the next few weeks he would release multiple other singles, including Way Back with PinkPantheress and Trippie Redd to what would be become my favorite track of the year, Leave Me Like This. I remember listening to this song at work right after it dropped, with my jaw on the floor. The mix was so clean, it had such an energetic flow, and was immediately catchy. In the second bridge when Sonny sampled the iconic "oh my god" from Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites, I was so taken a back and hit with a massive wave of nostalgia that I became kind of emotional. The use of that sample feels so important to me, kind of like a "look how far I've come since this moment" statement. The days of brostep and headbanging may be behind us, but Skrillex is still here releasing tracks that shake up the whole industry. This time he's releasing bass house tracks with melodic percussive elements that make me want to get up and dance. I listened to this song so many times this year, and always find myself bobbing up and down to the music or tapping my desk to the beat (I also always do a little finger gun thing on the triplet leading into the chorus lol). Sonny's ability to make instant classic, catchy beats is genuinely incredible. And he always seems to have such a positive energy surrounding him that you can't help but to join in to celebrate his success. I know that over the next few years he'll probably adapt his style some and try his hand at other subgenres, but this is by far my favorite style of Skrillex track to date. Something about this kind of house beat inspires me more than almost anything else in music. I want the passion and movement in this track injected into my veins, but for now, I guess I can settle with just listening to it on repeat.

2. Can't Find the Words (X&G Remix) - Imanu, Louis Futon, Cherry Lena, X&G

Speaking of catchy bass tracks that make me want to dance, this sweet remix by X&G slides into slot number two on my list. It's not quite house, more along of the lines of garage or trap, but it still evokes that same feeling in me that Leave Me Like This does. This track is broken into distinct sections, with vocals from the original track weaving into the mix to connect each part. A lot of times when remixes have a structure like this, I tend to only like 1 or 2 of the sections and end up getting somewhat bored with the rest. But not here, in this track every single part holds its weight with good execution and fresh ideas on the overall concept. And the vocal's don't feel shoehorned in either, they connect into the track perfectly. The vocal chop in the middle section in particular grabs my attention every single time. Overall, the track is energetic and danceable; although I haven't yet heard it at a show, it feels like the perfect track to slot into a dj set. Maybe I'll get the chance to hear it live in 2024.

3. Got Me Started - Troye Sivan

It should not be a surprise to anyone that this was a very queer year for me. And a part of that experience includes an almost yearning like sensation. An exploration and search for more queer expression, art, and connection.

4. kidsgonemad! - ISOxo

5. Ultraviolet - Spiritbox

6. Know Better (feat. CKay, Seun Kuti & Egypt 80) - Janelle Monae

7. Encore - Lolo Zouai

8. Inhale Exhale - Skrillex

9. Freaks & Geeks - Juelz

10. The Overgrowth - Silent Planet

[thereputationofaswiftie]

“I said “‘Remember this moment’”

In the back of my mind

The time we stood with our shaking hands

The crowds in stands went wild”

“On a history book page,

It was the end of a decade”

Today ends the end of an era… The Eras Tour era. The Eras Tour started out on March 17, 2023. It has totaled more than 150 shows, across 5 different continents, and over 50 cities worldwide.

I was lucky enough to attend one of those cities in the US, of mine and Taylor’s hometown show of Philadelphia, PA. I am so grateful I got to spend 2 nights with Taylor in Philly, even if I was there alone, I was just happy to be there with Taylor. That’s all that mattered and I had the most magical nights with her. I was even lucky enough to be close enough and have her look down and smile at me both of those nights. I’ve forever be grateful for the connection and experiences I have with Taylor.

Thank you to each stadium’s staff and the security who hosted us and helped to protect us while we were there. We couldn’t have done this without them either. So grateful for their protection of Taylor, the other acts, Taylor’s whole crew, and every single one of us Swifties.

Thank you so much to all the opening acts who got the crowd even more pumped up and ready for Taylor. This tour has helped introduce me to two new artists to support and love. I’ve since fell in love with their music and them, Sabrina Carpenter and Gracie Abrams.

To Taylor’s whole crew, the back up dancers, the Starlights (back up singers), her band, Taylor Nation, Tree… Thank you for everything you’ve done for us this tour and helping to bring this tour to life so beautifully. These back up dancers have become like family to us now too. Thank you for all you hard work. You are so important to us too, and I can’t thank you enough.

To the new Swiftie friends this tour has brought me, there’s too many of you to even remember to name but I hope you know who you are.. I am so grateful to have met every single one of you and to know you now. Thank you for your kindness, support, love and thoughtfulness. I pray hopefully next tour I will have a chance to meet so many of you. I love you. 🥹🫶🏻💖

And to the one and only, my emotional support pop star, my idol, my best friend.. Taylor Alison Swift.. No words could ever express how grateful and thankful I am for you. You have gone above and beyond for this tour but you always do. You worked your b*tt off for this tour and gave us everything. You brought us this tour when some of us needed it more than anything. Having this tour this last year especially, having Eras Tour livestreams even, Eras Tour news and surprises to look forward to, the hope of maybe getting a ticket to another show, has saved me this last year. This last year has been one of the hardest years of my life, and having the Eras Tour gave me something to look forward to almost every weekend and kept making me want to push on because I didn’t want to miss a single thing. This tour has brought me joy again and helped take my mind off of other stuff even if for a few hours when somedays all I wanted to do was cry and give up. Just thank you with all my heart for this tour, Taylor. How special it is to making saying goodbye so hard. I am going to miss you, this tour, and everyone who made this tour what it was.. It’s going to hurt but you all deserve such a wonderful and relaxing break after all of this. You all worked your a**es off. I cannot wait to see what the next era is and what all it brings us. I love you with all my heart, Taylor, forevermore. 😭🫶🏻💖

“Now and then we’ll reread the manuscript

Of the entire Eras Tour affair..

When we made the friendship bracelets and took the moment and tasted it

And long live all the magic we made

We had the time of our lives with you

So old onto the memories, they will hold onto you”

@taylorswift @taylornation

[awfulronpa]

Awfulronpa (Prologue)

When i woke up, i was in a classroom of sorts. Weird..i don’t remember entering a school? On the desk i was sat at, i noticed a small rectangle. I picked it up, and inspected it. It seems like a device. When i turned it on, there it showed my face, name, and..ultimate?

Enigma. The Ultimate Podcaster.

Enigma?? That isn’t my name. My name is…why can’t i remember my name? Great. Well, i might as well get out of this class room and look around.

I exited the room, and took in my surroundings. This was a ginormous school. As i walked, i noticed stairs that led downstairs.

Walking down, i could hear voices. Ah. So more people are here. At the end of the steps, i opened the door, just to be greeted by a wide range of people.

Adults..kids..teens..a weird range of them. I could hear normal conversations, along with two shouting at each other. I looked over to a person with white hair. My..lets say “phone” vibrated, when i checked it, i saw their information.

Melowon. The Ultimate Trickster.

Isn’t that trustworthy. I could hear someone— a girl? "Hey, hey, there’s no need to argue, calm down!"

Another voice. "This dumbass started it!" A younger girl.

"No way, it was toootally you." Another. A guy. I turned to see three brown haired people. A girl with some 80’s shirt inbetween a kid and some guy.

My “phone” vibrated again, all their information on the screen.

DorkyLesbian. The Ultimate Digital Artist.

Ouroboros. The Ultimate Asshole.

Swappy. The Ultimate Fangirl.

Dorky lesbian? And ultimate asshole? These names and ultimates just get weirder each time.

"NO DONT PUNCH EACH OTHER!" I heard from the older one— Dorky, im assuming. I shoot my head up and run over to grab Ouroboros while Dorky grabs Swappy. They’re glaring at each other.

I sigh and shake my head, looking towards Dorky. "What’s happening?"

"I didn’t hear much, but from what im guessing they got into a heated argument about the situation.." she responded with her guess, suddenly the younger one pipes up.

"He was saying the most stupidest shit!" She retorted "Someone needed to shut him up."

He scoffed slightly "It wasn’t even that big of a deal!" I huffed and set him down, and quickly after, Dorky set down Swappy.

Suddenly, another voice. "Well, what seemed to happen here?" A cherry voice, we all look over to a short man. With a dog head band?

All of our “phones” vibrated, and once again, i checked.

Ryuji. The Ultimate Collector.

Why are we all given these fake names?? This doesn’t make sense.. I decide to speak up on that. "Do any of you remember your actual name?" I asked. They all looked at me, then had a face of..i couldn’t tell. Attempting to remember?

A voice behind me speaks. "Seems we cant. Sad." I jumped. I turned around to see it was the one named Melowon. They smirked at me, knowing what they did.

I checked my “phone” once again, to go through everyone in this place.

Marble. The Ultimate Meteorologist.

Louise. The Ultimate Chaos Inducer.

Andi. The Ultimate Vocalist.

Moon. The Ultimate Clown.

George. The Ultimate Skit Maker.

Bobby. The Ultimate Racer.

Ebony. The Ultimate Emo.

Thirteen of us— myself included —in total. We suddenly hear a screech of a mic, then a voice. "HELLLOOOOO, NEW STUDENTS OF HOPES PEAK!"

We all turn to the podium, where out pops…a stuffed bear?! "I am your new principal! Monokuma!" It looks around "Seems i screwed up a bit and got a lot who dont fit the age range. Oh well!"

It claps. "Now, i hope you all are ready for this never ending semester, because this is your new home forever!" We all express our distaste for this..idea.

"What the hell?! Are you fucking crazy?!" Yells one— i think is Louise. We’re all furious.

"Now, now, calm down! There is a loophole to graduate." The bear speaks. We all quiet down to listen. "All y’gotta do a murder someone and dont get caught! Simple!"

Dead silence.

Kill each other? We’re all human beings— some of us are even younger than anyone here! I can already hear crying from someone. One of the younger ones im assuming.

"Oh, dont be all high and mighty now! You’ll get the motivation to kill one way or another!" Monokuma laughs.

"AS IF!" Scoffs..Ebony, i think? "This is all some stupid prank made up by some posers. Like i’d listen to a stuffed bear."

"THAT’S MISTER STUFFED BEAR TO YOU! And this isn’t a prank!" He huffs. "You’ll find yourself with a dead body sooner or later!" He cackles as he descends, assuming he left.

I turn around to see angry, fearful, and anguished students. Swappy clung onto Melowon as she’s sobbing, Ryuji and Dorky trying to compose their nervousness, others? I can’t describe well.

One thing’s for sure.

This isn’t a school worthy to be named Hopes Peak.

[ambiguousthoughtsinsilence]

30 years / 30 songs

As of 2:26 AM Latvian time, I am thirty years old. Originally, I was going to try and summarise my life in 30 sentences, but everything I wrote felt like it was an incomplete attempt at trying to capture my existence. Then, I thought I could try to reflect on these thirty years of my life by having a song per a year on being on Earth, with a little element of my life being associated with a certain song. This is the playlist that came about.

Bo Burnham - 30 Inside came out in 2020. I believe that no work of art captured the sense of isolation and desperation,while being saturated with content, and dealing with historical reckoning and loneliness at the same time, better than Inside. After turning 18, 30 is the next big milestone. It comes with a lot of pressures around romantic, professional and general life milestones. Burnham's 30 captures a sense of youth slipping away and realising that you might be losing touch, and being taken aback by that realisation.

Talking Heads - Road to Nowhere This was the first song I blasted from my North London balcony in 2021 as the fireworks echoed in the distance. This is one of my all time favourite songs, mainly because it embodies a certain positive nihilism. 'There's a city in my mind/ Come along and take that ride / and it's all right, baby, it's all right' Death is the only certainity, so why not enjoy the journey on the way?

The Flaming Lips - Do you realize? When I was 18, I wanted to tattoo the lyrics 'Let them know you realize that life goes fast / It's hard to make the good things last' I have seen The Flaming Lips twice and both times I have come out, feeling an immense sense of joy and love for other humans. Everything is tempory so every moment of joy and happiness is worthy to hold onto.

Pulp - Common People I love Jarvis Cocker, this song is a storytelling masterpiece and Different Class is a perfect album. Common People is one of the wittiest songs ever written, while being an absolute banger.

Bob Dylan - The Times They Are A-Changin' I always think of Bob Dylan as my first 'serious' musical love so I had to include this. As I became more interested in music, I remember creating a certain canon to explore. Dylan's revolutionary and political songs spoke to my 14-year old maximalism. The maximalism has faded, but Dylan manages to return.

Eels - Beginners Luck It was 2009 and I discovered Hombre Lobo through a radio show, I was 15 and discovering Eels felt so special. Like walking through my hometown and having this cool alt-rock playing in my ears, and feeling like I had discovered a secret. Years later I read Things the Grandchildren Should Know. It's one of my favourite books, mainly because of how honest and no-bullshit it is, while showing the way in which art can pull you out from the darkest hellholes.

Patti Smith - Because the Night I spent my teenage years going out to bars in the oldtown, and dancing till the first public tranport could get me home at 5 or 6 am. Because the Night was the most passionate and sexy song to let go of any worries and just dance the night away.

The Kooks - Do You Wanna? As a kid, I listened to a lot of mainstream pop as that was what everyone was listening to. The Kooks were the first 'indie' band (whatever that means) that I encountered. Me and my friend would walk around quiet areas of Ventspils and drink cheap red wine stolen from our parents and listen to the Kooks, and we felt so cool. I don't think I've ever felt as cool as I did when I wore vans, ripped jeans and listened to the Kooks.

Janelle Monae- Screwed Janelle Monae's Dirty Computer is a masterpiece. It is a meaningful artistic statement and it is about taking up space. It's a reminder that we have the agency to act and change the world in a way that we desire.

Eurythmics - Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) This is included for the little Alina, who loved watching VH1 Top 10 after school and was obsessed with this song.

Joy Division - Shadowplay This is for the angsty teen, who could not get enough of the bass line on Shadowplay.

Bērnības milicija - Ārā The Latvian band that made highschool bearable, the songs of which were the most beautiful poetry, so much so that I ended up analysing their lyrics in a state exam.

The National - Slow Show 'A little more stupid / A little more scared / Every minute a bit more unprepared' I could not have a playlist without a band that has become such a big part of me. This was the first song, I genuinely felt captured something true to the way I existed in the world.

Arctic Monkeys - Cornerstone Would I be proper millenial if I didn't have an AM phase? Cornerstone was my first song of theirs I really grew to love, which led to listening to the first two albums, and a few years later seeing them live in Stockholm with my dad, which is a memory I hold dear and close to my heart.

Avril Lavigne - Anything But Ordinary Let Go was the first album I remember listening to ad nauseum. I was going to write her a letter, when I was 10, but never got round to it. Avril embodied a girlhood that seemed appealing to me, a tomboy-ness that felt almost revolutionary in a world that kept saying that girls were meant to be a certain way, a way which I did not resonate with nor resemble.

boygenius - Not Strong Enough A band that has had such an impact on my life over the past year that I cannot exclude them.

Leonard Cohen - Everybody Knows For the disilliusioned part of me that feels like the world is a unchanging clusterfuck of suffering and there is little that can be done about it. Also for the 18 year old version of me, who loved Pump Up the Volume and a young Christian Slater

Bon Iver - Holocene For the 17 year old who felt this album was so beautiful and the video for this song so awe-inspiring that she started crying in central Riga as it played in her earphones.

Elliott Smith - Waltz #2  My big love for many years, whose albums I replayed again and again, as I attended my classes, hosted a radio show rather badly and felt like no one wrote more beautifully than Elliott Smith.

Nick Drake - Time Has Told Me More beauty that surrvives the test of time.

Sufjan Stevens - Mystery of Love One of my favourite love songs ever written, composed for a film that I absolutely adore.

Angelo Badalamenti - Twin Peaks theme My mom says she watched Twin Peaks when she was pregnant with me and she always loved the opening credits. I watched it when I was 17 and it is one hell of a soundtrack to the work of fantastic film maker.

Bruce Springsteen - I'm on Fire A reminder of a time, when I was playing a dj set at my favourite bar with my friend and a man commented that he approved of our Bruce choice. Still one of the sexiest songs to exist.

The xx - Night Time I still haven't found an album that feels as intimate and gentle as the xx debut. It was a special moment in time as I listened to it for the first time in my bedroom, late at night, before going to bed and I remember being completely taken aback by the fact that something like that had been created.

Pete Doherty - For Lovers Positivus 2015 was my first music festival, it opened a whole new world to me and was a key event of shaping the person I am now.

Alise Joste- A Thousand Questions Alise made music that soothed my troubled soul and her concerts always felt like wonderful intimate affairs, in a world that felt like it was rushing and making you fall behind.

Lucy Dacus - A Map on the Wall

'But I feel fine

And I made up my mind

To live happily, feeling beautiful beneath the trees

Above a ground that's solid at the core

Oh please, don't make fun of me

Oh, you know I get frightened so easily

When I'm all alone and the floorboards creak

It's those noises in the dark'

28. Mazzy Star - Fade Into You A reminder of the Alina that bawled her eyes out at Primavera Sound, aged 18, and captivated by Hope's magical voice.

29. Jeff Buckley - Hallelujah The most beautiful cover and a man, whose musical ability blew me away, when I first heard Grace.

30. Baz Luhrmann - Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen Forever valuable life lessons. The words were actually written by Mary Schmich, which I only learnt this year.

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day. Welcome to Throwback Thursday!

Many thanks to everyone that contributed to WEDNESDAY WORDS. Every week, it just gets better! Thanks to those that contribute, and thanks to those that read and leave a ‘like’ or ‘love’. As you can see, some contributions really resonate with people. Joint winners yesterday: firstly, Beverley Pyzer with some lyrics from a beautiful song called ‘I Can’t Make You Love Me’, originally recorded by Bonnie Raitt, later covered by George Michael, Boyz II Men, Bon Iver, Adele and Priyanka Chopra, and secondly, Anthea Ranjit-Singh with the immortal, “Your smile is your logo, your personality is your business card, and the way you make others feel is your trademark.”

On this page, ‘Throwback Thursday’ is all about memories. So, what do you remember? If I was to say the word CINEMA what immediately comes to mind?

You won’t be surprised to know that my parents were very liberal. My father, in particular, wanted me to explore adult themes as early as possible and, because I’d had a major growth spurt, even at the age of 11, I could pass for 18. So, Mum and Dad took me to the movies and, whatever they wanted to see, they took me along too! One of my earliest memories was a film called ‘W.R. Mysteries Of The Organism’, a 1971 film by Serbian director Dušan Makavejev, all about William Reich, an Austrian doctor of medicine and psychoanalyst. After initial screenings, the film was banned for 16 years, but I saw one of those initial screenings and, for some reason, it featured New York artist Nancy Godfrey, who was one of The Plaster Casters, known for taking plaster casts of rock stars’ penises. I kid you not! The swinging sixties carried on through into the early seventies! An entire film screen taken up with an erect male member! It left quite an impression! Other memorable films from 1971 included ‘A Clockwork Orange’, ‘Summer Of ‘42’, ‘Carnal Knowledge’ and ‘The Last Picture Show’ (featuring a 21-year-old Cybill Shepherd).

So, on this Throwback Thursday, what kind of memories does the word CINEMA conjure up for you?

“We named The GAP Band after Greenwood Archer & Pine streets because we all knew what happened to the thriving black community of Greenwood in Tulsa, Oklahoma during the 1921 Tulsa Race Massacre.” The words of (Uncle) Charlie Wilson of The GAP Band. So, what was the Tulsa Race Massacre? It was a two-day-long white supremacist terrorist massacre that took place between May 31 and June 1, 1921, when mobs of white residents, some of whom had been appointed as deputies and armed by city government officials, attacked black residents and destroyed homes and businesses of the Greenwood district in Tulsa, Oklahoma. The attackers burned and destroyed more than 35 square blocks of the neighbourhood, at the time, one of the wealthiest black communities in the United States, colloquially known as Black Wall Street. Interestingly, last month, Ryan Walters, Oklahoma State Superintendent said that the Tulsa Race Massacre can be taught in schools but it cannot be connected to race. This he described as “critical race theory”. Amazingly, this politician added, “Let’s not tie it to skin colour and say that skin colour determined that.” So, why did mobs of white men burn Greenwood to the ground?

In amongst all the prepping, teaching, marking and moderating, in coming weeks, I’ve got lots to look forward to. Popping down to the Irie! Dance Theatre Family Fun Day in Fordham Park, SE14 this Saturday; The Trouble a.k.a. MissCop Patterson-Wesker is selling jewellery and Di Greeneyez is playing the tunes. I’ve got lunch with one of my favourite people on July 18th. I’m covering ‘Mi-Drive’ on July 20th and July 27th. Always fun! It’s the Margate Soul Festival on the weekend of August 4th. The Trouble and I are coming down to Margate for the day and I’ll be doing my radio show live from Olbey’s. Please pop in! We’re going to see Dolly on August 12th, got one garden party on August 13th and another garden party on August 20th, then I’m looking forward to going back to Stevenage on Bank Holiday Sunday, August 27th for ‘Let The Music Play’. And, of course, we’ll be back and forth to Hove regularly to see Lady Wesker

Have a throbbing and thrusting Thursday (with hopefully a few thrills through your thoroughfare?) I love you all.