#than ANY of the supposed Lesbian Allies around here

[lucienne-thee-librarian]

ALSO also gotta love the shorthand assumption that Lesbians Just Be Mean and Rude b-but, but somehow it's not weird to say that because see we're using an ironic loving tone!!! Totally!!! We definitely don't still see female characters as obstacles to be gotten out of the way by making her a Mean Unlikable Lesbo We Clearly Don't Give Enough of a Shit To Actually WRITE About, Nor Her Relationship With Her Girlfriend Either but We Totally Like Tho We Pinky Promise, when she's in the way of two men and our lesbian allyship isn't 1000% nothing but this...super backhanded lipservice that I personally find more fake and off-putting and patronizing than anything!!

Hey so your girlfriend got put into a fandom and um, they kinda. Yeah they made her the Mean Lesbian Friend. Yeah it's entirely because she's the only girl who's not overtly caring or kind. Sorry. Also they-- yeah she's characterized entirely as a wingman for the popular gay ship. Sorry again

[callofdudes]

Idea that popped into my head earlier

Since the past weekend in 🇦🇺 was Mardi Gras (call it pride weekend) I thought what if gaz and an aroace y/n go to a pride parade 😭😭😭

I am going to keep the orientation part blank so it's as inclusive as possible for all the pride celebrating people. Also, I am not Australian, nor have I had the privilege of attending a parade so I apologize, that is why this is a little shorter. I did my best. @itsscromp

Going to Pride with Gaz

It has been some time now since you came out to Kyle. It was kind of a big deal considering he was one of the few around base you had any courage to come out to. Kyle had received it well, thankfully. You hadn't been worried he would have freaked out on you as much as any of the others. You were coming to them, in time... You just had to get over the anxiety first.

And now it's pride. You were getting ready for your day when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in." You said as you finished buttoning your shirt. Kyle opened the door and slid inside. "Hey, just making sure you're up." He teased.

"I'm coming, I'm coming." You paused. "You seem cheery."

He winked. "Why wouldn't I? It's pride afterall."

You twitched a little smile and chuckled. "You don't have to Kyle..."

He was quiet for a moment, and then smiled. "Come on, get ready. There's a parade happening today, if you're interested."

"You don't have to do that for me..."

You fixed your shirt and headed out of the room with him, Kyle walking next to you, hands in his pockets. "It'll be fun." He nudged you gently. "And I'll go with you, as a bonus."

You considered it. You'd never been to pride before, but the thought of being around others who could relate to you and express themselves in the way you always wished you could, maybe meet some people, get out there a little more... You nodded. "Ok. Ok I'll go."

"Good." Kyle patted your shoulder and strayed toward his room. "Meet you in the parking lot, we'll get food on the way."

"Now?? All right. All right!" You smiled, this was really happening. And quickly you rushed off to finish getting ready and then meet Kyle in the parking lot.

You fixed yourself up a little and then rushed to the parking lot, finding Kyle already out there, putting a box in the backseat. He gave you one of his pearly white smiles and hopped in the driver's seat.

"All right. We'll catch food and be on our way." He said as he pulled out of the lot and headed off. He had let Price know on passing that you two would be out for a little bit.

The windows down, enjoying the warmth that drifted through the car. You relaxed back into the seat and played some music over the radio for the two of you.

Got food on the road and headed to where the parade was supposed to happen. Of course, when you arrived many people were already there. Cars parked along the road, others had walked. Friends gathered in groups along the side of the blocked-off road, talking to each other and decorated in their prideful colors.

Lesbian flags, bisexual, gay, trans, non-binary. Some held flags to ally with the LGBTQ and others held more than one flag.

You looked around at everything, seeing all the stuff going on. Kyle looked over at you. "You ready?"

You looked over at him, hesitation in your eyes. But he offered you a reassuring smile and reached back to grab the box from the backseat. "I have... just the thing." He pulled it up into his lap and flipped down the mirror in the car.

You watched him as he opened the box and pulled out some colored skin markers. He swiped them across his cheek and handed you the colors you needed.

You looked at them, and then the colors on his cheek. And your smile brightened. He wasn't here to watch you, he was here with you.

You put on your colors and Kyle pulled out the flags from the box. You took yours and stepped out of the car into the warm sun. You looked around at all the people. You moved closer to Kyle and took his hand. He squeezed your hand in his and took the step of walking into the parade with you.

You stuck near him, watching all the people, all the flags, all the groups.

Kyle wrapped his flag around his shoulders, fading easily into the crowd with you. Listening to everything around you, a group of people waving the same flag as you with pride. You didn't have to do anything else but just exist.

You smiled at Kyle, seeing his gaze wander over to a group of guys laughing and raising their flags high. You gently nudged him, and he looked back at you.

"Meet you up ahead at that pole??"

Kyle chuckled and nodded. "Deal."

You wandered away from him over to the group you'd spotted, and he did the same. They smiled at you and welcomed you over to the little circle. Talking a little and marching with them for a while.

You didn't need to know each other, you didn't need to be friends, you could unite and march over the one thing you did know to make you the same.

Kyle found the same, eagerly accepted into the little group of guys, laughing and talking excitedly as they kept decent pace with others in the crowd. But there was no rush.

Eventually you and Kyle met up again where you'd planned, spotting each other in the crowd and wandering back. "Hey." You smiled wide.

"Hey, having fun?"

"I am." You chuckled and reached out to wipe some blue paint off his cheek. "Seems you are too."

He blushed a little. "They were friendly."

You linked your hand in his again and raised your flag as high as you could get it. The march continued on and you two followed the crowd all the way around as they went. Listening to the music and indulging even more.

You paused at a small inlet and got some water to hydrate along the way. You were applying some more sunscreen and someone sat next to you, smiling softly and engaging with you. Across from you Kyle meeting up with the same group he'd run into earlier, laughing and fitting right in.

Kyle was normally a pretty reserved person, but he was the life of that little group. You snickered a little, finishing your conversation and then going back. "Ok you, come here."

"Aw, but I was getting comfortable."

You snorted and waved to the guys before dragging him away. "Y'know, this is a much more creative way to come out than how I did..."

"I guess I just didn't want to make the moment seem... Less impactful? I know that was a big step for you, and I didn't want it to seem like I was only chill about it because I can relate... If.. that makes sense? I second guessed myself..."

"Yeah, I guess I can see that." You squeezed his hand. Kyle squeezed yours back. "Hey y/n, I'm Queer."

"Oh, I hadn't noticed." You teased him, nudging his shoulder.

"Ouch, and I thought I was being obvious."

"Nah, you're all good."

"Well so are you." He nudged you back, your smiles matching energy.

"Happy Pride, Gaz."

"Happy Pride, Y/n."

Eventually you two got home. It was late when you'd both found the car and drove back home. Price was sitting in his chair, reading as he waited for you two to get back. He knew you'd get back safe, but an emotionally adoptive father can only worry.

You and Kyle got through the door and shuffled toward the light. Price looked up when he saw you two. "Ah, there you are."

"Hey Price." You yawned and moved over to him. Price stood and wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you close gently. You didn't fight it, leaning into his embrace, Kyle following, coaxed into the other arm.

Price held you both and patted your backs. "Looks like you two had a fun day."

"There was so much to do... Lots of walking too." You mumbled, a small smile on your lips. "Oh, well it looks like you survived the walking part." He patted your shoulder.

"You two should get some sleep."

"Yeah, that's a good idea."

You two left the embrace and walked down the hallway to Kyle's room. You turned to him before he went to his room. "Thank you for taking me Gaz, I had a lot of fun. And I might be a little sunburnt." You joke.

Kyle nodded and patted your shoulder. "Thank you for coming out to me, and trusting me."

"I always do."

He looked down and smiled a little. "Ok, you go to sleep, ok?"

"Yeah yeah, goodnight, Gaz."

"Goodnight, Y/n."

You went to your room and wiped the markers off your face. You had kept the flag that Kyle had given you, and you draped it over your desk for now, enjoying the sight of the colors.

You smiled softly and flopped into bed, exhaustion slowly setting in. It had been a good day, you'd gotten to hangout with Kyle, and you'd gotten to experience pride.

And of course, you'd made some friends too. So overall, 10/10 experience, will definitely be going again.

And with that... You fell asleep.

[the-elderly-are-evolving]

gay twilight princess character headcanons bc it pride month

look im sure someone else has done it but idc i have A Lot Of Feelings rn and they have 2 go somewhere so get on board or get off ma ass about it

Link:

u no him, u love him, he has like 3 pixels in this game and all of them r doing their best!

he's coming from a conservative little backwater (i say this as the unfortunate alum of a conservative little backwater myself-- sorry, but Ordon's main export is like. goats or w/ever, there's no way there aren't any trump supporters in that town), but i think once he travels around n gets 2 experience different things on his quests n shit he starts 2 unravel some of that internalized homophobia & becomes a great ally and, dare i say it, a little bi-curious

"but, gabe," i hear u say, "link is such a nonbinary icon, what about the transmasc & transfemme gender envy???" and 2 that i say mmmmm yea yea ik, but i don't think he sees it in himself yet, i think that comes later when he's got more adult confidence n shit. like i can see a 20's/30's link with long luscious braided hair wearing crop tops and mini skirts 2 show off his sick nasty battle scars while he picks ppl up at the bar

final verdict is bi and, later, genderqueer, although i think he's one of those ppl who doesn't really care about labels/ pronouns bc he is simply 2 busy sparkle emoij boots the house down slaying monsters hahahah get it im hilaris

Midna:

now that's a she/they if ever i've met one

one of those ppl whose gender presentation is mostly just looking like a scruffy & stinky goblin cretur 95% of the time except 4 that like. 2% of the time they actually make an effort and turn out****

def has a bro-code friendship w link where they both just don't talk about their feelings and instead r violent together love this little war criminal & her dog best friend

ur 1st instinct is lesbian, but look a little closer, and u will soon realize that this is simply a pansexual with a strong preference 4 women in their natural habitat

i think she is trying 2 b a responsible queer bc she knows link is unfamiliar w the community n she is trying 2 b a good ambassador between link n the gays uhhhhh unfortunately she is simply 2 busy trying 2 commit crimes & being like. a chronically online 20-year old or however old she's supposed 2 be & i think link comes away more confused than ever b4

****couple things here: a) ik that doesn't add up to 100%-- i am gay, what part of do not talk 2 me about numbers don't u understand b) ik midna was literally cursed 2 b an imp by zant, but it doesn't change anything in my mind and u can't convince me that she didn't just pull out her "true form" bullshit 2 try an seduce zelda at the end of the game c) no i have no personal experience with this gender presentation at all how dare you insinuate anything of the sort i have totally showered this week totally now shut up

Zelda:

Lesbian, no further questions ur honor

Furthermore, femme lesbian, often gets Assigned Straight On Sight & is very tired of getting hit on by straight men

One of those gays who wear wacky silly n fun statement earrings so other queer ppl know they're gay

We don't actually see her a lot in this game so there's not much 2 go off of with her characterization... this zelda has had a lot of pressure put on her what with being the sole leader of her people in this time of extreme stress, & so i think she is very competent & composed & controlled, but out of necessity, which will prob lead her 2 rebel later in life & act out a little when the country is not at war & she gets to be more of a child again.... basically what im saying is twilight princess should've had a sequel n it should've started w zelda deciding she's punk now, shaving her head, and making link help her run away from home

EDIT: how did i not see this b4...... i have been a fool...... zelda is secretly an astrology gay. it's one of her guilty pleasures bc she knows it's prob not real n the planets prob aren't doing anything w ppl's personalities, but she can't help but b like oooh but wouldn't it b fun if the real reason zant was such a little bitch was just bc his pisces is in retrograde?

[emp13]

Im gonna start chronicling my VtM game in Seattle in 2024 that I’m running. I’ll start with this post to just give a little summary of our coterie. I will also answer just about any question I’m asked as long as it won’t spoil things for my players because at least 1 of them follows me here.

Kyler Smitt the Country Gangrel: Kyler was embraced in the 90s and is vying for the newly opened up Primogen seat for many of the disparate clans as most of them live under the Tremere which a lot of people don’t like. He’s a good 200 years younger than any of the other Primogen but there really isn’t a whole lot of age in the turf he wants to be the Primogen of because of some past conflicts with the Anarchs. He lives in a TMNT style apartment in the sewers with a few Nosferatu.

Anna Anne Anderson the Salubri: Anna was embraced in the peak of our civilization 1999, though she’d find that reference far less humorous than her player. She was ghouled by the Tremere regent to be her personal assistant about ten years before her embrace. She was slated for embrace by the Tremere Regent Iris but the night she was supposed to be embraced a rogue Salubri embraced her instead. This was brought to the Prince and due to a very complex political situation at the time she was allowed to live, a big reason for this is the sizable population of Japanese kindred who are far kinder to Salubri. This has to do with some lore I added to replace the orientalist abomination known as kindred of the east. In current nights she’s working to get out of the thumb of the Tremere because she’s heavily stifled given her being a Salubri. Her goals are to aid Kyler to become the new Primogen which should lead to a course of events that makes her the new Keeper of Elysium.

Victoria Hawthorne the Ventrue: Victoria was embraced in the early 2000s right around when the dot com bubble burst. She runs a surveillance tech company and is the definition of an upstart. She has her own skyscraper in downtown Seattle where her company is based out of, it’s not quite a startup anymore but it’s still working on its magnum opus of a plot device level surveillance tech. She has lofty goals and needs allies in high places.

Jack Cross the Malkavian: Jack was embraced in 2016 by the Malkavian Primogen Eleanor. She was a private investigator in life and when her wife fell into a supernatural coma she turned her skills to looking into the supernatural. A year into her investigation she was embraced. Shes spent 9 years looking into her wife’s coma and she’s had a few notable leads but it’s led her to the coterie.

Scylla the Lasombra: Scylla was embraced into the Sabbat in 2018 by Seth but was quickly brought into the Camarilla in 2019 when her sire turned coat and brought his brood with him. Her life was destroyed by her sire multiple times, resulting in the death of her girlfriend and destruction of her gang. She built back up though and was “rewarded” with the embrace by this monster. She now runs a pretty respected club in Kindred society, especially for her age. It’s also the most notable location in where the new Primogen would have domain over so a prefect ally for Kyler to have. She has a deep desire to see her sire meet the final death which is why she’s opposed his aims for being the new Primogen.

Elizabeth Evans the Brujah: Elizabeth was embraced two years ago and doesn’t know her sire, she was taken in and looked after by the Malkavian Primogen Eleanor. Eleanor was the reason why she’s in the coterie for somewhat mysterious reasons. Before her embrace she was a nun where she had a clandestine lesbian affair with Eve, one of the other nuns, who after the rumors got out left. Despite this she still doesn’t think she’s gay.

[vaspider]

'only tenet of TERFism is transmisogyny' EXCUSE ME NO ITS ALL TRANS PEOPLE. They don't want any trans person to exist. What the hell.

Some people just gotta center their own suffering always, even when they're hurting other people by doing so. I've seen this a lot in younger queer folx of all stripes, this need to be the one that hurts the most, you know?

There's a reason the phrase Oppression Olympics exists, and it's because it's a common behavior or phenomenon in oppressed communities. I see it in the disability community, too.

What I think is important to understand when we talk about how trans people suffer under transphobia is that different groups are targeted differently. I'm not the first person to say this, of course.

Now, like, this is very rough sketchy stuff, and each person's individual experiences will vary, but in my general experience, the rough breakdown of the way in which transphobia lands on trans people kind of breaks down like this:

Binary trans women tend to suffer under a lens of hypervisibility. Everything they do is seen, analyzed, and torn apart. Their struggles are generally the ones centered in the arguments of allies, "allies," and transphobes. Even when trans women are the focus of helpful attention, that hypervisibility can cause exhaustion, because they need to perform perform perform, and be perfect, all the time. It's hard for trans women to just be without feeling like they're on camera, all the time. A lot of the time, they are on camera, because trans women's bodily autonomy and right to privacy are just never respected by transphobes (and often by supposed "allies" who feel free to ask the most invasive questions and get upset when trans women won't answer them), and even if they're not literally on camera, they're supposed to perform as the best examples of transfemininity, because if they don't, then they become the next 'look at this bad trans, all trans are this bad trans' example that TERFs point at and use as a broad brush to paint all trans women. If they're not perfect all the time and have a day where they snap at someone while someone is recording, or make a mistake, or anything, it has a horrible tendency to go viral. You can think of at least three instances right now off the top of your head, right? Right.

Binary trans men tend to suffer from hyperinvisibility. This comes from inside and outside the community -- a lot of trans men talk about being told they can't lead in community because they've 'got male privilege,' that their struggles are discarded, that they're talked over and unable to discuss the things they face, which means they don't get the support they need. Now, there are TERFs and transphobes who absolutely do focus their attention on trans men to the exclusion of or to the deprioritization of the oppression of trans women -- that's where we get Tavistock and Irreversible Damage and Fourth Wave Now and all the other bullshit which focuses on the idea that trans men are "transing the gay away," specifically "transing our butch lesbians" and "stealing butches." But again, generally speaking, trans men face harmful levels of invisibility where trans women face harmful levels of visibility. That's why transmascs in general have issues like lack of understanding even by supposedly trans-competent doctors as to how HRT affects our bodies, why trans men (and transmascs in general) report things like transphobes attacking them with transmisogynistic comments and assuming that every trans person online is a trans woman, etc.

Non-binary (here used as an umbrella term for all identities outside of binary man/woman, to include agender, genderfluid, non-binary, and infinite other identities) AFAB people tend to suffer from a different, very specific form of hypervisibility, unless they start to appear too masculine, and then they slip into hyperinvisibility. This is where we get things like "women and non-binary people" that codes all non-binary people as "AFAB people I can sort of squint and view as women," and people who fall into this category tend to get a lot of attention, a lot of derision from all sides of the spectrum. This is the "blue-haired tenderqueer" sneering that we get from both within and without the queer community, where there's an assumption that these people are just cosplaying an identity, that they're not really trans, etc. Having been in the visibility category and slipped into the invisibility category within the last, oh, year or so, and having two binary trans women in my family to compare notes with, the experiences are unnervingly similar. The difference between the experience that those women have had and the experience that I have had is that according to transphobes, I'm a traitor to my womanhood and performing femininity wrong and taking on a fake identity to escape female oppression because I'm not strong enough to bear up under it, but too cowardly to become a trans man, or... something, whereas they're taking on a fake identity to sneak into women's spaces because they're perverts.

Non-binary (umbrella identity etc) AMAB people tend to suffer from their own very specific form of hyperinvisibility, unless they start to present "too feminine", and then they slip into the hypervisibility which affects binary trans women, but with a little different fuckery in which everyone just assumes they're a trans woman, and therefore they get misgendered by everyone across the spectrum of queer/non-queer/etc. Non-binary AMAB people are generally treated like they don't exist, and when they are spoken about, are often discussed in the context of 'they should just admit they're trans women or gay men,' or if they present 'too feminine,' are subjected to the same sort of horrific attention that trans women get.

Again, a lot of this is very simplistic, and doesn't add in a lot of other complicating factors like race, disability, class, etc. Trans men of color, for example, can run into a different sort of hypervisibility because as they move further through their transition, they begin to be seen in the world as a man of color. It's not really mine to speak on beyond that, but I don't want to neglect saying 'this is really really simplistic and there's more to it than that' over and over.

I really hate breaking it down this simply because it feels like creating another binary (our society does like a binary!) for non-binary people, but like, I can't really talk about my shared experiences with other trans people without putting some framework around it. Someday, I'll be able to do that without categories. Wouldn't that be awesome?

I think we do our entire community a huge disservice when we talk about transphobia as if it's a single snake trying to take bites out of only one part of the community, and not a many-headed hydra, able to attack us from multiple different directions. I also think that focusing on one form of oppression keeps us from forming meaningful solidary and coalitions; the more divided we are, the easier it is for the people who literally want us all to stop existing to pick us off one by one. We see this all across the queer community and it's only ramping up as the attacks on our community escalate from without; people tend to turn on the ones closest to them when they get really scared, and to blame the person standing next to them for the pain they're suffering. It's the "close enough to hit" phenomenon, and it's why we see ridiculous things like "bi women make cis men think that lesbians can be won over," rather than acknowledging that bi women aren't the ones causing that: cis men are the ones causing that. The bi women in that case are close enough to hit. Transmascs are close enough to hit. Trans women are close enough to blame for the problems of transmascs, which makes it possible for TERFs to lure transmascs in and attempt to detransition them, subjecting them to gaslighting and manipulation and then using them as sock puppets.

TERFs do focus a lot on transmisogyny. They focus a lot on transmisandry, too. Debating which one is more prevalent and 'worse' not only misses the point, because transmascs and transfems face very different and totally rotten attention from cis society as a whole, including cis queers. We need to like, not do that anymore: we need to give each other the space to talk about our unique circumstances, but we also need to work harder on looking at each other through a lens of solidarity and trying to see that our struggles are different but not unrelated, and that if we keep downing on each other like this, we're not going to get anywhere except in a much more difficult situation as the people who don't want any of us to exist keep picking us off.

[9tzuyu]

who you are

note: mostly made this for my own comfort, but i do hope it helps and/or comforts any fellow lesbians :]. i normally wouldn’t specify sexualities on any characters because obviously everyones going to feel differently about different characters, but like i said this started off for my own comfort bcs i was hashtag goin through it.

prompt: basically just reader struggling to accept themselves as a lesbian. sorry non lesbians :(

warnings: heavy heavy heavy on internalized lesbophobia. talks about comphet (trying to force oneself to like men) and wanting to be ‘normal’

thank u ally for proofreading <3

not tagging anyone just because i don’t want to trigger :[

. . .

you were wrestling with something, natasha could tell that much. your eyebrows were drawn together, eyes lost in a gaze. it wasn’t until the third time tony called your name when you snapped out of it.

“sorry,” you mumbled.

“well are you going to answer the question?”

natasha noted the tapping of your foot, knuckles cracking beneath the table. it was obvious you weren’t in the right state of mind to be answering any kind of question. foolishly, no one else picked up on that except for the redhead.

“what was the question?”

tony sighed, his patience growing thinner by the second.

“i asked if your report was done. it was supposed to be handed in three days ago, remember?”

your foot tapped faster.

“yeah- yeah, i’m almost finished.”

it wasn’t like you to be so late on things like this, you were usually on top of everything.

“you told me you would have it ready by today. this is the fourth time this month that you’ve done this. you’re dragging your ass and the rest of us are getting pretty tired of it.” a collective agreement could be heard from the team. all eyes were on you waiting for a reply.

if you hadn’t felt anxious before, you most definitely did now.

“it won’t happen again.” tony blew off your statement and rolled his eyes. you shifted uncomfortably, nauseous from all the negative attention.

you couldn’t help but wonder if they knew. maybe that’s why they were being so short. it made sense after all.

natasha tried making her way towards you, but she was stopped by steve’s hand on her shoulder. you were well past gone by the time she managed to scramble away from him.

your back pressed flatly against the wall, tears steadily falling down your face. hatred was all you felt. hatred towards yourself. 

why couldn’t you be like the rest of them? why didn’t you belong? 

whywhywhywhywhywhy

granted, you knew there was absolutely nothing wrong with being gay. that was never the issue. the issue was the fact that it was yourself, that there was no possibility for you to ever be attracted to men. 

you were sure it would be a phase, that it would pass, that you would forget about it and never think about it again. you tried to go on dates, tried to form a relationship, tried to enjoy having sex with them. none of it worked, no matter how much you forced yourself to believe it would. 

all you could think about was how sick and disgusting you felt. and the shit representation didn’t help your case at all. the media hardly ever portrayed a good, well-rounded lesbian character that wasn’t problematic, over-sexualized or dead. 

the media only reiterated the fact that you were supposed to want men. you were supposed to find the right guy and fall in love with him, call him your husband and start a family. 

a knock on your door pulled you away from your thoughts. you shuffled your way back to your feet, drying your eyes for good measurement. 

natasha stood patiently, eyes drilled on your doorknob. if it were up to her she’d be picking your lock, but she knew that would be crossing a boundary. she went to knock again when your door swung open. 

“hi nat.”

“hey,” her voice was soft. “you’ve been crying...” she pressed her hand against your face, thumb rubbing the top of your cheekbone. 

you shrugged. it wasn’t like you could deny her, your red eyes had already given away the truth. “yeah.” 

she hummed, “may i come in?”

you hesitantly moved out of the way to let her through, cursing at yourself for finding her so attractive. 

“you know you can talk to me, you always do. why haven’t you said anything?” natasha moved to sit on the edge of your bed. “you’ve grown quiet these past few days, it’s not like you.”

“i’m just tired, worn out from work i suppose.”

she nodded, though she knew better than to believe such a lie. natasha could always tell when you were lying, something you both hated and loved at the same time. 

you sat next to her after a friendly tap on the bed. her gaze made you feel like a little kid in trouble. it was as if she already knew and was prepared to say the worse.

“i don’t believe you.” 

“well, i don’t know what you want me to tell you, nat.”

“how about the truth?” you scoffed purely out of defense. “and what good would that do?” 

“it might relieve whatever you’ve got on your heart.” you met natasha’s eyes and your lip immediately began to quiver.

“i’m afraid you won’t be able to look at me the same.” 

she softened, taking your hand in hers. “there’s nothing in the world that would change the way i see you.”

“you say that now, nat, but-”

“i wouldn’t say it if i didn’t mean it.” 

you thought about it further. natasha had never been one to judge someone based on the things they’ve been through, the things they’ve done or the things that make them who they are. she saw people the way they were, nothing more, nothing less. 

but what if she didn’t like you or see you the way you were? you weren’t sure you could handle the aftermath if that were to be the case. it was bad enough you struggled to accept yourself, natasha’s disapproval would only break you. 

“i’m a lesbian.” a lump in your throat began to form and you found yourself crying once more. “i tried so hard, i tried everything i could think of, but i can’t, i don’t like men.”

you coughed, choking on your words. 

“i don’t understand, nat! i don’t understand why i can’t be normal. why can’t i do it? if i just liked men i would be okay, i would be fine, i would be fucking accepted.” you paused for a breath of air. “i just want to be normal.” 

natasha was taken back by your confession. it was nothing near what she thought it would be. she expected you to tell her you’d been stressed or that you were scared for the next mission. 

“i’m sorry, i-”

the spy quickly cupped your face, tilting your chin upwards as a hint to meet her eyes again.

“look at me, c’mon, hey. you have nothing to be sorry for, don’t ever think that you do. i love you for who you are. there’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian. you’re normal, you’re who you are, who you’re supposed to be. you are real. i promise you are.” 

without thinking you leaned into natasha, clinging on to her for dear life. her arms found their way around your body, hands rubbing your back up and down. 

“you should be proud to be who you are, not ashamed. and if you’re not proud of yourself then please know that i am. i am so, so, incredibly proud of you, sweetheart.” she finger brushed your hair as you continued to cry. “shhh, you’re alright baby. i’m sorry you’ve been dealing with this alone.”

“it’s okay nat.” she gave your body a small squeeze, frowning at your response. “you shouldn’t have to feel like you need to force yourself to be someone or something you’re not. you don’t deserve to struggle so much for your own acceptance as a lesbian.” 

you nodded, though she could tell you weren’t fully convinced. “the only opinions you should care about are your own and the people you love and cherish. i know that’s easier said than done, but it’s true. besides, what you told me just gives me something more to love about you.” natasha finished off with a delicate kiss to your forehead. 

“this means a lot to me, nat. thank you, for everything really.” 

“oh sweetheart i should be thanking you for trusting me with such an important part of you are.” you shied away, a growing smile forming on your face as you leaned into her shoulder.

natahsa smirked, clearly aware of the effect she had on you. “who knew you could be so cute?” 

“nattttt.” 

she rose her hands up in surrender, “alright, alright. i’ll stop on one condition.” 

“what’s that?” you mumbled. 

“would you let me take you out for dinner tonight? i’ll show you just how beautiful it is to be with a woman.” 

“yeah, yes- yes please, that’s fine.” natasha could’ve sworn she heard your heartbeat quicken and she had to refrain from letting out a small laugh at your flustered state. 

“we need to clear that little mind of yours. i’ll be back here at seven on the dot, okay?” a pat on the leg caught your senses as you watched her stand. the last thing natasha heard was the soft “okay” fall from your lips as she walked out the door.

you’d never been happier to be a lesbian in your life by the end of the night. 

[what-i-call-men]

Together at last

Winter Anderson x female! Reader

Request: nope!

Warnings: a lot of cult talk, homophobia from Kai, minor drug use (marijuana), mentioned cheating (for the sake of the cult) and SMUT at the end with Winter.

Picture from @copy-of-a-cheeto

Proof reading by @divineruler

You had met Winter in college. You two had been roommates and quickly spent all your time together, soon starting to date. You had come from a pretty accepting place, whereas Winter was not in the same boat as you. When you two first started dating, you chose to keep it off social media and keep it to yourself because her brother and parents were pretty crazy. When she went back home for breaks you stayed at school or went to your own family. There were even a few years she came to your family's house for holidays.

After the two of you graduated, she opted to move back home with her family, which you ended up moving only a few minutes away in a small apartment. You loved being around Winter too much to just move away from her, so instead you put your English Literature degree to work here. You got to see her every couple days, usually walking around the town or finding some restaurant to sit in together. The two of you were quite a pair, her the dark but more feminine one where as you wore lighter colors but were more into masculine clothes, being taller than her and only accentuating that with big shoes or how you carried yourself in general.

When Winter was finally comfortable, she invited you to her family home for a sleepover about a month into you two staying there. She told you that she'd keep it under the ruse that you were her best friend and roommate from college but nothing more. You agreed, feeling it'd be best for Winter to be safe over however you felt. It had definitely been a bit harder for her to want to invite you especially after seeing how her brother reacted to the election. But when she finally said it'd be safe to have you over, you left your house quickly. Pulling up to the house, you had tried your best to dress as straight as possible, wearing a pair of leggings and a baggy pink shirt just to be on the safe side.

You barely made it to the door before it was opened by a man with long dark blue hair and a judgmental stare. He was about the same height as you if you were to stand up straight and if you had anything other than converse on for shoes you'd probably tower over him. Yet something told you not to try to intimidate him back, this was Winter's brother that you had to impress. "Hey, I'm here to see Winter. I'm y/n." You said and stuck your hand out to shake his. He didn't shake your back but instead a hand grabbed yours from behind him, one you instantly recognized as your girlfriend. "Kai let her in, this is my friend and I'd prefer you left her and I alone." Winter nudged him to the side with her hip as you walked past him into the house.

After spending some time in her room, smoking, listening to some music, and eventually making out after ordering some pizza delivery. You had remembered her locking the door behind you two because she had made a point of it, but when she moved on top of you, you opened your eyes to look at her and saw the door cracked open and a mop of blue hair through the doorway. Your eyes widened and Winter turned around to see her brother. "Winter, your pizza is here." He only said that before retreating back down the stairs and to what you assumed was the basement Winter has mentioned.

After getting some slices and eventually smoking away some more of Winter's stress about her brother, you offered to get you two some drinks which she agreed and you went downstairs by yourself. As you were filling the cups, you heard the door close to the basement. You glanced over and saw Kai standing against the counter. "So you’re the lesbo my sister is dating? You know she really isn't gay and she's just faking it." He said, very obviously trying to upset you and provoke you. You pursed your lips.

"First off I'm not a lesbian, I'm bisexual. Second off, faking it? You mean all the girls that you fuck... oh wait Winter told me you're an incel who gets off to girls feet on the internet." You said and straightened your back a bit, now leaning a bit over his slouching frame. Honestly he wasn't bad looking and the way he stared at you with hate but some underlying impression, wow you must really just like the Anderson's. Now you just had to see Winter's oldest brother to see if looks just ran in the family.

"Winter said she can't fucking stand you and that you really needs a proper boyfriend to show you that you like dick over whatever is in your pants." Kai said and crossed his arms, obviously getting a bit more upset that you weren't taking any of his insults to heart, but somehow he resulted in just kinda flirting... or maybe that was supposed to be threatening.

"Oh what's in my pants? You mean your sister? Now run along little man, don't pick fights you won't win." You said and rolled your eyes before walking up the stairs to Winter's room, telling her little to none of what happened downstairs. She obviously would be upset by it if she knew what you said and what her brother said. It was a normal night otherwise. You went home the next morning, not really expecting to see Winter so soon again when she texted you a few hours later and said Kai wanted you to come over.

This time you wore a normal outfit and didn't try to look "straight". When you go to the house, Winter silently opened the door and nodded to you to walk towards the basement. "He wants to talk to you. Don't fight with him please." She whispered as you got to the open door. You walked down the stairs and saw her brother sitting at a table with two chairs. "What am I gonna get interrogated?" You asked as you sat down in the chair across from him.

"No. I like your strength. I think you and I could help each other out." He said and crossed his arms. "Y/n I know you like my sister, and I know in this town there's not many accepting people... of relationships like yours." Kai said and leaned to the table and extended his pinky. You couldn't help but chuckle a bit at the fact that he was the one you were worried about, not others. "I want you to take my pinky." He said and you hesitated, but he quickly raised his voice and stated "do it." And you did.

He asked you all sorts of questions, and you chose to be honest because quite frankly you were just an honest person. He asked about what you fear. Hurting Winter. He asked what made you like his sister. Easy, everything but more specifically how hot she was in bed, also how fun it was to sneak around with each other in college. He asked what made you realize it wasn't just women you liked. Another easy one, your boyfriend right before Winter was really good in bed. After Kai unlocked his pinky from yours you furrowed your brows. "So why do you think I can 'help you'." You asked.

"I think you'd be able to benefit from helping me. You help me run for city council, write my speeches and make sure I sound well spoken. In return I promise you and Winter safety and a life together." He said and crossed his arms. As much as you wanted to laugh in his face at the idea of him on city council, you bit your tongue. "What is it that you can do to keep us safe? If she didn't move back into this house she would be living with me safely in somewhere like West Hollywood." You said and furrowed your brows at him.

"Well I heard that your poor innocent girlfriend has had some things to do with the few people around here that have been murdered... and I'd hate for my poor sister or her... accomplice to be tipped off to the police." This was the first you'd heard about this... but somehow with Kai being the way he was you didn't doubt what he said and the validity behind it. "So, we make a deal, you write my speeches and you and Winter stay here safely." You had no choice but to agree.

A few weeks into this situation, you had barely spent any time with Winter other than at Kai's meetings. Instead you were tasked with getting close to Ally and keeping her under wraps. You also had to convince her that separating from Ollie and Ivy was a good idea for her. Although you were fully aware of Winter doing the same to Ivy, something felt so wrong when Ally became a bit more than emotionally attached. After Ally had made a move on you, and you just accepted it, you snuck back to the Anderson house and immediately shook off the gross feeling as soon as you walked inside.

Kai sat at the dining room table and winter was probably with Ivy and Ollie somewhere. "How'd it go?" Kai asked as he ate off of the plate he had before him. "I feel disgusting. She is so not my type and I need to go wash her off." You muttered and slid your jacket off. "How about we go down stairs and you tell me about it?" Kai offered and you really had no choice but to agree, if you didn't you were scared he'd become upset at you.

This loyalty and willingness to sleep your way through your jobs, and with Kai if he so pleased, got you a lot of attention from him. Really all you wanted was to get back to Winter, but you had to do so with Kai's permission. When you had finally been given a night to be with Winter alone, you two found yourselves making out in her bedroom. Your hands slid up under her shirt as she kicked off her shoes from the day. You lifted her shirt up and began to work on her bra as she undid your jeans.

After you were both down to your underwear, you lifted her up into your arms and gently laid her on the bed, crawling on top of her. As you kissed your girlfriend deeply, you couldn't help but feel so excited to finally have her in your arms again. You slowly began your descent down her neck and chest. You paused to remove her bra and leave a few kisses along her breasts. You always loved how responsive Winter was, especially when you two had paper thin walls to the dorm beside you and you'd have them knocking on your door to shut up or angry notes to stop 'having boys over'.

When you finally made your way to her core, you slid off her panties as you knelt on the ground beside the bed, booking your arms around her thighs and upping her to the edge. Delving in, you could've sworn Winter almost passed out. You two were very open with each other about everything you'd done for the cult, including who you had been forced to sleep with. Ally, Kai, and a few of the henchmen weren't as good as Winter and lord knows Ivy couldn't satisfy Winter like you did. Which is why Winter's legs were shaking so quickly then soon clenching around your head as she came on your tongue.

Getting back on top of her, she whispered something against your shoulder. "What's up babe?" You asked softly and turned a bit so you could barely hear her ask for you to sit on her face. You gladly agreed, standing off the bed to pull off your own bra and underwear, she sat up and leaned forward to gently grab and lick your nipples, giving small punches and kisses as you removed your underwear. God she was so gentle yet confident, she was so perfect. Even more perfect when you finally were positioned above her face and she dove in.

Her tongue worked wonders on your clit as she slid off the rings from her fingers before sliding the newly bare fingers into your dripping core. You held yourself above her, gently letting your hands roam down her cunt, gently rubbing her clit while you rolled your hips against her tongue. Within a few moments you were on the edge of cumming and winter worked you over the edge. You felt so good to finally have a welcomed orgasm. "I wanna fuck you." She whispered up at you as you came down from your high and you smiled at her a bit. She slid out from under you and ran to her closet as you laid back on her bed.

After a few moments of struggling she pulled the straps of the strapon onto herself. No one would guess you were a bottom to her if they saw you on the street together, but somehow if just worked for you two. She climbed back on the bed as she slid the dildo into place on her belt, turning on the bullet that sat on the inside for herself. Leaning down, winter sucked one of your nipples gently into her mouth as she ran her fingers gently against your clit, rubbing it as she slid the dick into you slowly. You groaned out softly as she made her way up to your lips, kissing you deeply as she began thrusting into you.

With her thrusts and rubbing your clit, and her the vibrations on herself, both of you were quickly close to the edge. Her moans were getting higher and more whiny, you reaching up and gently playing with her breasts. As she leaned over you to speed up her thrusts, you took a nipple into your own mouth, licking and sucking gently, her own thrusts becoming sloppy. "Fuck... babe... fuck I'm close baby." She mined out and you nodded up at her, letting her know you were too. After just a few more thrusts and rubbing a bit harder against your clit, you two were both topping over the edge, letting out a long moan of your own as she whimpered against your neck.

After a couple seconds of breathing, she got up to remove everything from herself. You pulled her back down to the bed before you two could clean up. "I love you." You whispered to her quietly as you pulled her naked body against yours. She whispered her own back to you before taking a deep breath. "I wanna marry you." She whispered softly as your hand traveled up to cup her cheek. You two looked at each other in silence for a moment. "I want you to myself. I wanna run away and marry you and hide away from this stupid cult life. Please marry me." Winter whispered to you and you smiled at her softly. "If we can find a way out, I'd love to marry you." You said back and pulled her into a soft kiss, before hearing the door slam downstairs, basically saying your alone time was up and Kai was home.

[furornocturna]

Queer Ace Charlastor shipper here also chiming in.

Charlastor is not lesbian, wlw or asexual erasure. A bisexual woman and an asexual man is not a straight couple when neither are straight. They are both queer, and neither’s identity is being erased by pairing them together. Charlie is still bi no matter what gender she dates, and being asexual does not mean Alastor is incapable of being in a relationship. Asexuality is a spectrum. If anything, it’s biphobic and acephobic to say either are “turned straight” and invalidating their LGBTQ status for dating the opposite gender.

I watched the pilot only knowing Chaggie was canon from supplemental material and while watching thought “did something change in production that they didn’t update on the wiki yet?” because there was so little there portraying them as a couple.

Then Alastor enters the scene and the sparks are EVERYWHERE.

In a matter of seconds, I was more invested in these two’s dynamic than what’s supposed to be the primary couple. Alastor is both a tentative ally and potential obstacle. He offers to help Charlie with running the hotel, but clearly states he doesn’t believe in the cause and is only in it for personal gain/entertainment at watching it fail.

He approached Charlie with this proposal because he found her disastrous interview to be the most novel thing he’s seen in years. It, in his own words, gave him something to engage in again after decades of endless, aimless, uninspired BOREDOM.

Charlie isn’t stupid. She knows his reputation and to be wary, so when she takes up his offer, she knows not to accept a deal and makes it clear that she’s not going to take shit from him.

You can do SO MUCH with this. The ways these two can challenge and inspire each other. Seeing who’s going to prove who wrong/right first. How they clash with their opposing morality and ideologies, yet bond over their shared love of performing, singing, dancing, the arts. They can contribute so much to each other’s character arcs.

Also just, that Reprise?

You expect me to watch this and not ship it a little?

I know Alastor’s an asshole, that he undeniably has ulterior motives. But where’s the fun in an Enemies to Friends to Lovers journey without the “enemies” part? Though perhaps it’s more “antagonistic tentative allies” than outright “enemies”.

The seeds of potential and their chemistry is just captivating. They both stand strong on their own as their own people with their own personalities as well as click really well as a duo in the pilot. And while they haven’t interacted much in the show proper yet, we know they’ll get some scenes together in later episodes from what we’ve seen in the trailer. And I’m excited to see how their ally-ship/friendship will be showcased.

When the show premiered, I tried to keep an open mind and hope that Chaggie would get to be fleshed out more. Only it didn’t. Four whole episodes, and every moment with them is a nothing burger. Either the scenes interchangeable being read as platonic (I’ve seen multiple people online voice how they mistook the two for just friends or sisters from their interactions in the show), or what are supposed to be more overt moments come across as hollow and shallow because there’s so little substance. No development, no chemistry, no depth, nothing.

Hell, Vaggie isn’t even a character outside being an accessory to Charlie. She’s just “the girlfriend”, and we barely even see her be that with their interactions. Everything about her revolves around Charlie. She even says this is her whole purpose practically in Episode 3. Most other things I know about her come from supplemental material and not the show itself.

I get wanting more wlw representation in media. I’m all for it. I’m also going to be critical when I see bad writing for any romantic relationship. Forced gay ships are no less annoying to watch than forced straight ships. Characters who don’t exist independent of their partner are examples of terrible writing no matter the orientation. It’s not homophobic for a queer person to want quality writing in queer representation.

I believe the upcoming 5th episode is going to involve Charlie introducing Vaggie as her gf to her dad, and supposedly they’ll have a romantic duet together too, but why did it take this long to get an explicit, unambiguously romantic confirmation in the show when it wants us to believe they’ve been an established couple this whole time?

I don’t ship Chaggie because nothing about them sells me that they’re a couple. I’m trying to like it, but there’s nothing there for me to invest in. I need substance to be invested, not just cute screenshots. And I actually feel bad that this is all there’s been to show for this couple for the people who do ship it. You guys are barely being given SCRAPS compared to everything the show’s given for HuskerDust by comparison and they’re not even official yet!

I know Charlastor will never be canon, but I’m still going to ship it regardless. The stories and themes that can be told with it are so much more engaging than anything Chaggie has provided in canon.

Can't belive people think Charlastor is popular because of lesbiphobia and not because it's just... better.

Like I wish Chaggie had that type of dynamic. Like

Surprise surprise people like naive character that has to work with a powerful being x powerful being that has to work with naive character + their relationship is developed through the story and they become friends/lovers more than naive character x her gf (that naive girl disrespects all the time)

Wow yeah I wonder why do people like Charlastor more

Exactly! Despite what Viv's fandom likes to parrot, not everything is about homophobia and plenty of Charlastor shippers are queer. People just gravitate towards whatever ship they feel has the most chemistry, and for a lot of people, that's Alastor and Charlie.

[girlboss-molina]

Be Who You Are (No Compromise)

A Julie and the Phantoms Modern Royalty AU

Chapter 1: Introductions

AO3 Link

Words: 5543

-----

Alex POV

...

Of course. 

Of fucking course.

He’d known it was coming, yeah, but that didn’t change the fact that, despite his friendship with Princess Julie, Alex had no desire to marry her. And now, after begging not to be married off, he was still stuck in this deal.

It had nothing to do with Julie herself, of course; Julie was a kind, loving, musical girl around his age. The issue was that he was gay. Marrying a girl was not something he was interested in. 

Julie knew Alex was gay; he’d come out to her after he was sure she would accept him, which he knew she would after she mentioned her best friend being a lesbian, and her being bisexual herself. Needless to say, neither of them had been thrilled by the announcement a couple years back that they would be getting married, for more reasons than the fact that nobody wants to be in an arranged marriage. 

And now, in three months time, he would be at the alter with a girl he wasn’t in love with. 

Alex knew it wouldn’t be that bad; in fact, he and Julie were quite close friends. Their kingdoms, Tambor and Dahlia respectively, were close allies. But for some godforsaken reason, their leaders had felt the need to strengthen their allyship by setting up their heirs in an arranged marriage. Had Alex been the oldest, this wouldn’t have been the case. However, it wouldn’t be him, but his older sister, Ava, taking the throne of Tambor. 

He, along with his guards, would be travelling to Dahlia this evening. He hated that it was so soon. Not that he wasn’t excited to see Julie, he was, but it was the reason that put a knot in his stomach.

Alex allowed himself one more panic attack before getting ready. As a treat.

The warm sun streaming into his room felt out of place with the dread settling in his stomach, and his breath choked, his heart racing, salty tears streaming down his face. He clenched his hands into fists and back out, trying to calm himself despite the emotional release. His nails dug into his palm, not hard enough to cut, but enough to leave little indents that he then ran his fingertips across. 

Trying to pull himself together, he stood - albeit shakily - and walked across the soft, carpeted floor to his full-length mirror, pleasantly surprised as he noted that he wasn’t as big of a mess as he’d expected, given his previous panic. 

A knock on his door alerted him that his head butler was there to help him get ready for the jet ride.

“Your highness, are you alright?”

Alex didn’t answer, grateful for Luke’s steady voice outside his door.

“He’s a little panicky at the moment. Maybe give him a few minutes to settle?” he suggested, and Alex hoped Luke was receiving the strong thank you vibes he was trying to transmit telepathically. 

Any time Alex had a panic attack, he was semi-verbal. He could speak if he really, really tried, but it generally took a great deal of effort. He and Luke had a system, though; if Alex needed support during a panic attack, he would fake-sneeze three times, and Luke would come in from his station outside Alex’s door. 

Alex allowed himself another minute to calm his breathing and wipe the tears from his face, practicing the grounding exercise Julie had taught him. 

Inhale- 1, 2, 3, 4

Hold- 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Exhale- 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

It helped a lot, and soon he was able to straighten his hair and begin changing into the suit his tailors had made just for this occasion. 

Another knock echoed from his door, and Alex took one final deep breath to compose himself. 

“Come in,” he said, proud of how steady his voice was. 

The butler entered; a kind man named Erik, who Alex had gotten to know over the past month or so. His olive skin shone in the afternoon light streaming through the floor-to-ceiling windows. 

Alex dressed himself, for the most part; having butlers help him dress was never something he particularly enjoyed. He allowed Erik to smooth his white dress shirt, though; no matter how many times Alex had practiced tucking in his shirts, they always ended up wrinkled. 

He slid the navy suit vest over the shirt once it was nice and smooth, fastening the thick buttons over his stomach. Minimalistic gold embroidery on the vest sparkled in the light, and Alex couldn’t help but smile at the bit of flair. He’d been half-hoping that his matching navy pants would have a bit of sparkle as well, but to no avail. Probably for the best, he decided. Just a little touch was enough. 

He fixed the cuff of his sleeve, taking a breath as Erik reached up with a comb to fix his hair. It was simple but refined, how it always was. 

“Erik, you’ve outdone yourself with this one, bro!” Alex said excitedly. He might not be very pleased about being in an arranged marriage, but he could appreciate a good suit. “I love the details.”

“I’m glad you like it!” Erik beamed with the praise. “May I?” he asked, reaching for Alex’s shoulders. Alex nodded, and Erik smoothed the vest’s warm fabric, readjusting the hem until it was aligned perfectly. 

He might not have been the type of guy to always wear suits, unless necessary, but Alex had to admit it. He looked good. The slim fit outlined his muscles, and the deep blue of the vest and pants brought out the bluish tints in his blue-green-grey eyes. (nobody could seem to decide what color they actually were). The small touches of golden embroidery shone and somehow managed to accentuate the sun-born highlights in his hair. 

“You look wonderful, your highness.”

“Thanks, Erik. And you can call me Alex, we’re chill.” Alex had been insisting to Erik that he could be casual around him for months, but Erik still generally referred to him as “your highness.”

“Alex,” he corrected with a broad smile. “Well, Alex, you have a photoshoot for the press in ten minutes, so if there’s anything else I can do to get you ready, don’t hesitate to ask. Though I must say, you look awesome.” Alex let out a small laugh. 

“Thanks, dude. Oh, wait, before you go, could you tell me something?”

“Of course,” Erik replied. Alex put on his Serious Face.

“Do these pants make my butt look big?” Erik bust out laughing, and Alex couldn’t help but do the same. 

...

Three hours later, Alex was finally done with an exhaustive photoshoot. He hated having his picture taken; add that to the list of anxieties. He had to make sure he looked perfect, or everything could go wrong; that was what his parents had drilled into him from the moment he had his first real photoshoot. 

Of course, he still had to endure an interview with the Tambor Times Magazine, which he was dreading. Speaking to an overeager journalist with no respect for privacy was never something he looked forward to. 

“What are your thoughts on the marriage that has been arranged between you and Her Royal Highness, Princess Julie of Dahlia?” Alex cleared his throat.

“It’s definitely a unique situation,” he started. “I mean, not every nineteen-year-old is part of an arranged marriage.” He did his best to keep his voice light, and it must’ve worked, because the journalist gave a laugh and moved on. 

“If I may, what is your current relationship with her?”

“The princess and I share a close bond,” was the only answer he gave. “If you’ll excuse me, I must be going,” he added. “I have a flight to catch.” He grinned - He didn’t have to catch any flight. He would be on the royal family private jet. But the journalist smiled and shook his hand, instructing him to have a wonderful evening, and he did the same. 

The bit about catching a flight wasn’t entirely false, though; soon, he had wished his parents a good evening and boarded the jet with his suitcases, hoping to leave his anxiety in Tambor.

-----

Julie POV

...

So.

Here’s the thing. 

Julie liked Alex, she really did. He was one of her closest friends (princesses don’t get out much). But he was gay, And Julie was decidedly Not A Guy. Plus, they both knew their connection was strongest platonically, anyway. 

Of course, none of that matters in diplomacy. 

Julie had tried many, many times to get out of the arranged marriage. But she’d just turned eighteen, and Alex nineteen, and apparently their kingdoms had no such qualms about marrying off teenagers. 

At least her dad, King Ray, had tried to get her out of it. But even as king, there was only so much he could do; everybody except for him thought it was a grand idea, because Of Course They Did. And once the public had heard the news, when she was sixteen, Julie couldn’t look out her window without seeing photographers outside the palace gates for a week. 

She supposed there was nothing she could do about it now, though, no matter how much she wanted to, for her sake and Alex’s. 

At least he was someone she got along with well. She knew they would never be in love, for multiple reasons, but she wouldn’t be unhappy. Alex might, though. They’d stayed up late on many a night, him rambling about cute guys he’d seen amongst the palace staff or on his occasional trip to the city, her chatting about songs she’d been writing and the one guy she’d had a crush on, Nick. 

Nick was the son of a nobleman her dad was very close with, and they were good friends, but she’d never acted on her little crush. Her feelings for Nick hadn’t really gone anywhere, it was just a lingering crush she’d had for a few years, but one that had faded with time.

Julie sighed, smoothing out her dress. It was simple but elegant, with a little bit of Julie flair. The silky violet fabric was cut in a slim fit to her waist, before gently flaring outwards towards her ankles. Off-the-shoulder straps revealed the dark skin of her shoulders, and the pearly embroidery of dahlia flowers around her waist shone in the light, tapering off as she twirled, though as she practiced her camera smile, it didn’t reach her eyes. 

Alex was her friend, but neither of them wanted to get married. But she’d tried her hardest to get them out of it, to no avail. 

So, as she sat down at her vanity, Julie closed her eyes and reminded herself the words her mother used to tell her every time she was scared. 

It’ll all be okay, Jules. You’re strong, and you’re a diamond in the rough.

The words settled her stomach a little bit. 

Her lady-in-waiting, Mira, knocked on her door. 

“Come in,” Julie said. Mira bustled in, her flaming red hair pulled into a messy bun, her brown eyes sparkling. 

“Oh, Jules, you look lovely.” Julie smiled.

“Thanks, Mira. How’s my hair?” Julie reached up to smooth her curls, which had been combed back and woven into a thick, braided knot at the base of her neck.  

“Almost perfect, but it needs a little something,” Mira decided with a smirk. Julie had no idea what Mira had in mind, but she knew she would love it. 

Before either of them could say another word, Flynn walked into Julie’s room, followed by her girlfriend, Carrie. 

“Hey, underachiever,” Flynn greeted with a smile.

“Hey, disappointment!”

“Dude,” Flynn said, a serious look on her face. “That dress is the shit!” Carrie nodded enthusiastically. 

“A definite look.”

“Thanks guys,” Julie said with a grin. “I love it, too! Mira’s got some sort of magic in her hands, because this is one of my favorites for sure.” Mira blushed. 

“Well, I’m not quite done,” she admitted. “Jules, your color scheme is pink, purple, and blue, usually, right?”

“Yeah, usually! I can always get behind some other colors, though.”

“Of course. But I think for this dress, the pink-purple-blue scheme would fit the best.”

“Definitely,” Carrie jumped in. “The purple mediates the pink and blue, so those are like side accents.” 

“I like this one,” Mira decided, pointing at Carrie. Carrie flipped her hair and smiled. “But yes. So, I was thinking for your hair, we could weave in some thin ribbons in those colors? It would be super simple, wouldn’t even have to take it out and restyle it.”

“Work your magic,” Julie instructed. Mira grinned excitedly and set to work, sitting Julie down at the vanity.

“Okay, Jules,” Flynn sighed. “I know you don’t want me to ask this, but are you doing okay?” Carrie took Flynn’s arm and nodded. “I know this isn’t what you wanted. Either of you.”

“I’ll be fine,” Julie decided. She didn’t want to marry Alex, and she knew he felt the same way. “At least it’s not somebody I hate, though. Alex and I get along really well.”

“I know,” Carrie added. “But that doesn’t mean you have to be okay.” A single tear rolled down Julie’s cheek, and she was grateful she hadn’t done her makeup yet.

“Thanks. To be honest, I’m not really okay, but I’ll live. And besides, it’s not for another three months. And having another friend around for a few months will be nice. Before, you know, I have to marry him.” Flynn let out a sad laugh. 

“If I may add my input,” Mira began, “I’ve always hated the prospect of arranged marriages. At the very least, both people should have to agree with it.” Julie nodded, quickly stopping when she felt the ribbons Mira was weaving into her hair tug. “Sorry,” she added. “I’ll be done in just a moment.”

“I agree,” Carrie said. “It’s stupid. Dahlia and Tambor are already allies, so why are they even doing this?”

“I’m not sure, to be honest. My dad says it’s to ‘strengthen agreeability between our separate civilians.’ But at least tried to get me out of it,” she added. “King Xavier and Queen Claire both thought it was a great idea.” Julie had always held some bitterness towards Alex’s parents, given their closed-mindedness and apathy towards minorities and less fortunate people. Alex had always felt the same, and avoided coming out to them for those reasons. 

“Well, I personally think it’s homophobic that my best friend is being forced to be part of an arranged marriage,” Flynn decided, “because I’m gay and it annoys me. Plus, you know, she doesn’t want to be part of it.” Julie couldn’t help but laugh at that, as did Mira. 

“All done with the ribbons,” she said, handing Julie a mirror to see the back of her head. 

“Oh, Mira, I love it!” The ribbons were braided through her thick hair, swooping around the knot, twisting through her own curls and holding the hairstyle together perfectly. Both pretty and practical. 

“I’m glad!” Mira looked very proud of herself, for a good reason. Julie’s lady-in-waiting was definitely a woman to be admired (and feared - she’d taken down a full-grown man in a self defense class, while wearing heels). Julie could walk in heels, even run in them, but she’d tried fighting in them, and failed miserably. She might’ve been competent fighting in regular shoes, but heels were a different story. Mira, though, could do it all. 

Mira’s phone dinged. 

“Oh, Jules, it’s time for the pre-meetup photoshoot!”

“Got it. Thanks, Mira, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Forget about your photoshoots, probably.”

…

The photoshoot involved lots of candid shots of her in the garden, doing her best to look serene, and not show the anxiety bubbling in her stomach. But somehow, she actually managed to get through it without losing it. 

“Wonderful, miss. Turn towards me, look to your left- yes, perfect.” The photographer’s voice faded as she obeyed his instructions, a human robot running correctly but with wandering thoughts. 

“You look so natural, miss!” he complimented. Julie offered a smile, returning to her thoughts. There had to be a way to get her and Alex out of this. But she couldn’t think of any that wasn’t treasonous, illegal, or flat-out stupid. Of course, as a teenage girl, she felt she deserved to be a little stupid sometimes, but apparently that was “unbecoming of a princess” and “a bad influence.” Personally, she just thought that was biphobic.

-----

Luke POV

...

Luke hadn’t ever traveled much, let alone to a neighboring kingdom, so needless to say, he was pumped to get to visit Dahlia for three months at least. His hope was that, even though no one involved wanted the marriage to happen, they could find a bright side in him getting to stay with his best friend. 

Of course, that didn’t change the fact that he felt bad for his charge and best friend, Alex. He knew Alex was gay; in fact, they’d “dated” for a few weeks when they were fourteen. But even after deciding they were better as friends, they were close, maybe even closer afterwards. Luke told Alex everything; he didn’t know if he had a secret that Alex didn’t know. 

Everyone in the palace was used to seeing him and Alex wandering the grounds, goofing off, messing around in the music studio, what have you. Technically, Luke was a junior guardsman, and given his bond with the prince, had been assigned (along with an actual guard) to be his security detail. That had evolved into an even stronger friendship, though. Years passed, and soon they were inseparable. 

Luke had done his best to cheer up Alex; seeing his best friend that upset was heartbreaking. But there was nothing he could actually do to help, so he settled for laying next to Alex on the floor and staring at the high ceilings.

An hour passed, and soon the afternoon sun was streaming into Alex’s room. Luke saw Alex drag a hand down his face. 

“I guess you should start getting ready, then?” he asked.

“Probably.” Luke patted his shoulder. “Do you think it would be too drastic to fake my death?” Luke laughed, knowing Alex was joking, though it wouldn’t have actually surprised him. Alex and Julie were friends, but neither of them wanted to get married. Especially not the gay guy, very publicly, to a girl. 

Luke stood up, giving Alex a mock salute, and walked out the door, closing it behind him. 

He stood there for a few minutes, straightening his back as a senior guardsman passed him. He ducked his head in a nod, relaxing a moment later. As much as he might’ve come off as a chill guy, he was worried for Alex; even more so when he heard Alex’s breathing quicken from the other side of the wall, his footsteps pacing back and forth. 

The panic attack shouldn’t have surprised him. Alex had clinical anxiety, and this was probably one of the most stress-inducing times of his life. Being forced into an arranged marriage - even if you’re friends with the other person - is no fun for anybody. And today he would be going to the Dahlia palace to stay for three months before the ceremony.

Luke fiddled with the hem of his jacket; it was charcoal black, and thick and protective, with eight buttons on the wide front, crossing his chest. He’d gotten used to it, but despite that, he still started sweating in the warm weather of Tambor. The red sash crossing over the jacket had golden embroidery on the edges, and he quite enjoyed running his fingers over the textured thread. 

Luke could still hear Alex panicking, but there were no sets of three fake sneezes in between the rapid breaths, so he stayed. Alex was able to recognize when he needed support, and when he needed to be left alone. 

Luke spotted Erik nearing him. He couldn’t stop him, but Erik was aware of Alex’s anxiety, so Luke wasn’t concerned. He smiled at Erik, giving him a look, warning him that Alex was having a panic attack. Erik nodded, knocking gently on the door. 

“Your highness, are you alright?” When Alex didn’t respond, Luke jumped in. 

“He’s a little panicky at the moment. Maybe give him a few minutes to settle?” Erik nodded, and Luke gave a relieved smile. 

“You look nervous as well,” Erik noted. 

“Well, I am, a little bit,” Luke admitted. “I’ve never been to Dahlia, but I’m going with Alex since I’m his head guard and Royal Best Dude™.” Erik grinned. “I’m excited, though! I bet it’ll be a lot of fun.”

“I’m so jealous,” Erik told him. “I’ve never been outside of Tambor.”

“I’m worried for Alex, though. He’s really nervous.”

“Yeah,” Erik agreed, a flicker of understanding rushing across his face that made Luke smile despite himself. If he was being honest, Luke had a tiny crush on Erik, but nothing substantial. “I mean, it’s gotta suck being closeted to everyone but a few people, and having to marry a girl.” Luke nodded. 

“I wish there was something we could do about it.”

…

Luke stood guard off-camera while Alex had his pre-meetup photoshoot and interview. It was what he always did, though this time it felt different, like he was a silent supporter during a tough time, now more than ever. 

If nothing else, he could reassure Alex that he looked fabulous in his suit - it wasn’t a lie, either. The navy blue fabric complimented his eyes perfectly, and the golden details were a stunning addition. Tie that with his sharp jaw and awkward, endearing personality? Anybody would simp for him. He had a feeling that many people did, too; Some of Alex’s best photos from these shoots would be printed in the Tambor Times Magazine, and he would also post some - as well as his own selfies - on his instagram. Luke had seen the comments, and always smirked at Alex given the amount of heart-eyed emojis and key smashes there were. 

Luke stood behind the cameraman for the candid shots where they needed Alex to be smiling or laughing. No matter how much he practiced, Alex could never get a good candid smile, so Luke took it upon himself to stand behind the photographer making faces, or occasionally imitating their every move with mock seriousness. 

When Alex’s musical laugh rang through the air, Luke patted himself on the back. 

Worked every time. 

He worked his magic for a few more shots afterwards, doing his best to make Alex laugh. It wasn’t just for the photos, though, it was to help him settle down. Luke knew this was a horrible situation, but there was nothing he could do to stop it, so he’d have to try to make it more bearable. 

After Alex’s interview, Luke could tell that the reality of the situation was hitting him even more, as a flicker of fear shadowed his face, his hands clenched into fists. Luke walked towards him slowly, making sure Alex was okay with it, and when he didn’t retract, he put his hand on his shoulder and gave a reassuring squeeze.

“It’ll be okay,” he promised. And as Alex seemed to relax, nodding and pulling Luke into a hug, that was when he knew.

Alex was his best friend, and didn’t deserve any of this pain or fear. He deserved for things to be okay.

Luke would keep that promise, no matter what.

-----

Reggie POV

...

Reggie knew he was Princess Julie’s honorary older brother; it had been that way for years, after he ran away from his own pathetic excuse for a home. He was lucky King Ray was a kind man; he could’ve just as easily left him there where he’d found him, a nine-year-old in the street of the raining Dahlia capital city. But he’d taken Reggie in, and soon, Reggie was part of the royal family, even if not by blood. 

Now, given that he was Julie’s honorary older brother, he hated that she was being put into an arranged marriage. She was eighteen, for God’s sake! Reggie was nineteen, and knew for a fact he wouldn’t have been able to handle it nearly as gracefully as she did. Then again, while she was young, playful, and vibrant, Julie was also the epitome of grace and poise; she’d grown up in a palace, after all. 

Needless to say, though, Reggie was sure he wouldn’t be able to not be protective of Julie when Prince Alexander came. He’d met him before, but only briefly; in passing after dinner during visits, mostly. It did help Reggie’s nerves to remember that Alexander was a very sweet, reserved person from his own interactions with the man. But that was his little sister, and while she wasn’t completely devastated, Reggie knew she didn’t want it to happen. 

He dragged a hand down his face, flopping down on his bed. He wanted so badly to help Julie out of this, but he couldn’t. 

Hey, at least he could cheer her up with his jokes! She always said they were awful, but Reggie knew better. Only the finest of jokes could make Her Royal Highness, Princess Julie Molina of Dahlia, laugh until her sides hurt, even coming from her honorary older brother, Sir Reginald Molina. 

He smiled to himself. He might not be able to stop this whole predicament, but he could help her through it.

Reggie hopped up, fixing his suit. The silky red fabric of the vest hadn’t creased at all, nor had his grey suit pants, and yet he still felt the need. He did, however, roll the sleeves of his black dress shirt to expose his forearms, because come on. Even with Dahlia’s cool climate, he still got hot, especially when the sun was streaming through his windows, and he had a few photos outside before Prince Alexander’s arrival. Plus, it didn’t hurt that, according to his Instagram followers, the rolled sleeves made him look “personable” and “hotter than the sun.” 

Reggie ran a finger over the shimmering black embroidery of the vest, then winking at the mirror and pulling his best finger guns. It was his god-given right as a fancy bisexual. 

He ran his hand through his expertly-styled hair, letting some of his waves free from their stiff hold. It wasn’t the perfect style it had been when his butler styled it a couple hours ago, but it was more of his own style, which he liked a bit better. Spinning on his heel and slipping a hand in his pocket, Reggie walked out his door and down the light-filled corridor, down to the front steps, waving to Mira along the way. As he stepped outside, he heard people outside of the palace gates start shouting. He gave a wink and playful salute, even daring to blow a kiss in the general direction of a cute girl. He noticed Julie rolling her eyes, the photographer seizing the moment to take some shots of him on the palace steps. 

He jogged over to Julie, wrapping his arm around her. 

“How are you doing, your highness?”

“I’m doing okay,” she said, though both of them knew it was a lie. “How about you, Reg?”

“I’m okay as well. Just popping in to see my fangirls-” he winked at the crowd behind the gate, and a chorus of teenage girls (and a few boys) all sighed dreamily- “and check on you. We both know you’re lying.” Julie groaned.

“This whole thing just sucks.”

“Tell me about it,” he agreed. “But I’ll be here for you every step of the way. You know that, right dude?”

“You’re such a sappy loser,” she told him, and he put her in a playful headlock, posing for the camera.

“I know.” Reggie might’ve been a “sappy loser” of a brother, but he knew that, in Julie’s book, he was a sappy loser (affectionate), and that she understood that he was there for her. 

Hopefully that would be enough. 

-----

Willie POV

...

Willie had never actually gotten to know Princess Julie, but he’d met her a couple times. He was a chef in the palace kitchens, and on occasion, Julie would come down to try to get to know people. He’d never truly had a long conversation with her, but in the interactions they’d had, she was kind, and had a musical air to her. 

He’d seen pictures of the prince she was set to marry, Prince Alexander of Tambor. If Willie was being honest, he was kind of cute.

Okay, really cute. 

He’d never actually met the guy, but he seemed nice. His photos on Instagram had good vibes, at least. Willie couldn’t help but hope he’d get to meet him when he came to visit. If it was just because his brain was screaming cute boy, that was nobody’s business but his. 

Willie sprinkled more flour on the dough he was kneading, folding it in some more. It was cathartic, this repetitive motion. It helped calm his ADHD sometimes. He kept going.

Sprinkle. Fold. Roll.

Sprinkle. Fold. Roll.

Kneading the dough until it wasn’t sticky, he listened to the head chef, Lilian, shout orders at the rest of them. She was a very intimidating woman, tall and muscular, with raven black hair in a sleek ponytail, and fair skin flecked with flour. But she was quite kind, Willie had come to learn over the years. She was just one of those people who scared you if you didn’t know them. 

He put the dough in a pan, setting it in the oven and flicking on the light so he could monitor its progress, as could anyone else walking by. Wiping the flour from his hands to his apron, he then put his dishes and utensils in the giant dishwasher, finally washing his hands and grabbing a new bowl. 

Tonight was the welcome feast for Prince Alexander. Willie and a few others were in charge of baking loaves of bread for the appetizers, as well as making the desserts; today, mini chocolate mousse cakes. 

Dessert was always Willie’s favorite course to prepare, and not just because he could steal bits of frosting from the spatulas after he was finished. It was also because of how making desserts seemed to put everyone in the kitchens in a good mood. Maybe it was the smell of rising sugar, or the bright colors of the tubs of sprinkles, but he adored it. 

He cracked the eggs into the mixture of butter and sugar, adding the milk and flour soon after. As he poured in the cocoa powder, a little bit poofed up, creating a chocolatey cloud. The noise of the mixture did nothing to silence his racing thoughts, though. 

Would he get to meet Prince Alexander?

Would he like him?

And most importantly, why did he want to so badly? 

Willie shook his head, doling the batter into mini cake pans and tapping them on the counter to get rid of any air bubbles, sticking them in an oven after it beeped to temperature. 

Another oven beeped.

“Hey, Alyssa?” he called to a plump woman a few meters away. “Could you check on the bread in that oven to your right?” She nodded and leaned down, giving him a thumbs up.

“Probably needs another minute or so, but it looks great.”

“Sick, thanks!” Alyssa nodded and smiled, her dyed-purple hair shimmering in its bun. 

Willie grabbed the ingredients he would need for the mousse, arranged them on the counter, then jogged over to the other oven and pulled out the bread - without putting on oven mitts.

He hissed in pain but didn’t let go, quickly putting it on the stovetop and running to a sink to run his fingers under cold water.

Willie already had tons of scars and calluses on his hands, both from cooking and skateboarding on his off-days, so the burn didn’t hurt nearly as bad as it would’ve a few years ago. And by some miracle, it didn’t blister - though it did swell and turn red. Willie cursed under his breath, heading to the first-aid kit and smearing some ointment on it and covering it with a bandage. 

“Let me guess,” said Lilian from behind him. “You forgot oven mitts again?”

“Guilty,” he said with a grin. Lilian sighed, but didn’t manage to hide her smile. 

“Willie, you need to be more careful. I know your brain always has, like twenty thoughts going at all times, but you could hurt yourself.”

“Twenty-three,” he corrected. “And I know, but you only live once, and I didn’t want the bread to burn.”

“Five seconds to grab a mitt wouldn’t burn the bread.”

“Hey, there’s a first time for everything.” Lilian rolled her eyes and gently swatted him on the shoulder. It wasn’t a mean move, of course, it was her saying she was exasperated but that she cared about you. Willie laughed and went back to his mixing bowl, getting ready to prepare the mousse.

This would be perfect.

[cloudsnbones]

Here is a selection for your lovely self to choose from <3

50, 63 or 110 please 🥺 For Kerry...Susan...the wives - you know ofc.

My Hidden Angel

prompt 110: just pretend we’re okay, just for tonight

warnings: mild alcohol consumption, touches on topic of 'outing', some references to suicidal ideation

other tags: kerry x sandy (before), kerry x susan (implied), kerry & susan, hurt/comfort, hugs

Kerry’s eyes traced the mulberry patterns intertwine then separate then briefly meet together again followed by a small gap before they finally made themselves whole, ending in solid semi-circles at the opposite end of the duvet, striking loud against the cream which predominated the piece.

She was supposed to be happy, finally released loud and proud into society, herself - different, yet still beautiful. So what was wrong with her? Because she didn’t feel like that. She didn’t feel like that at all. The burning in her throat came in waves of strength whilst her heart felt like a large block of ice that had plummeted into her stomach. As for the rest of her body, it all just felt numb. Numb and useless. For the first time in a long time, she felt small, really small. Peering eyes had followed her throughout the ER as she tried to pretend that everything was ok, that she had wanted that to happen. That… what they thought didn’t matter to her. She was their boss after all. It shouldn’t.

But if she couldn’t even convince herself, how on earth could she convince anyone else?

After leaving work she had stormed over to the Fire Station where Sandy worked to give her a piece of her mind, chew her, and spit her out as Sandy had done to her. Returning the favour. But she had been left feeling even worse.

Even more hated and alone than she had before which was something considering… everything.

And she knew that if she passed away in her sleep, no one would care. No one would come to her funeral, no one would mourn. And as devastating as that is, she felt at peace. For once in her damn life, she wanted to be quiet. To hide. To return back into her bulletproof shell and never leave.

There was a light tap on the door.

Kerry ignored it. It could wait. Probably a door-to-door salesperson. Not worth her time.

A slightly louder knock followed, and then a loud buzz.

This now seemed more like a person, perhaps… Sandy?

Kerry’s heart fluttered in hope. And it was this alone which eventually forced her to get one and then two legs out of bed, wrapping her body tightly in her silk dressing gown before slowly making her way to the door, leaning on nearby furniture to do so.

When Kerry got to the door she took in a small breath, closing her eyes to rack up the courage to be able to speak coherently in front of her again. She didn’t want to relax her guard, or to let her anger completely ease off but what she really didn't want - was to be alone. And it was this sole urge for companionship that drove her resolve to forgive Sandy. She had found herself in the past year and despite her still wavering confidence in her sexuality she couldn't deny that she had never felt more complete, more understood, lighter, and happier since she had discovered she was a…

Lesbian.

In one quick movement, she turned her key in the lock and pushed down the door handle pulling it towards her, she opened her eyes expecting to see Sandy on the other side apologetic and soft but instead she saw someone whom she did not expect. Dr. Lewis.

“I-” Kerry started, her face dumbfounded.

Susan just smiled, 75% convincingly, holding up a bag to her face filled with a lovely aroma of spices.

Kerry looked at her suspiciously.

“I’ve brought you dinner,” Susan said, after a beat, trying to ignore the deep feelings of anger and frustration which she had always associated with Kerry.

“Oh thank you,” Kerry replied eventually, peering at the bag from where she was standing, frozen to the spot, “Why don’t you come in?” She added awkwardly her voice catching on the words and she squinted her nose and eyes slightly in embarrassment of herself, letting out a small sigh.

Susan just continued to smile and stepped into the door as Kerry shuffled out of the way before she closed the door.

“Please come on through.” Kerry said, “oh, and shoes off before you come in please.”

Susan had expected that to be the case, she smiled playfully to herself as she slid her shoes off.

Kerry stood, watching her uncomfortably, wondering what she would do and also questioning as to why this had happened in the first place. She bit her lip and curled her right ankle around to scratch at the back of her calf, which wasn’t the best idea as within seconds she began to lose her balance. Before she really had the opportunity to fall or to steady herself, Susan caught her outstretched arms ensuring she stayed strictly upright.

Kerry was shocked. Not only by the sudden contact but also of the position she was in with regards to Susan. She was staring directly at Susan’s chest. Well, where her chest was below her periwinkle jumper. Her eyes widened and she raised her head to look at Susan before shaking herself back into reality and straightening up allowing Susan to let go of her arms. Despite this, the place where she had touched her, burned.

When Kerry looked back at Susan she noticed her empty hands. But where was the food? Oh, Susan had just placed the bag on the floor. She needed to get a grip.

Kerry made to brush off her slacks only to find silky material there instead and that is when she realised that she was in fact not wearing her day clothes at all but her night-time things, and her cheeks began to glow red.

But Susan didn’t care, she just picked up her takeout bag and gestured towards the entrance to the living room, “This way?”

Kerry swallowed and then nodded, a bit too fiercely. Susan smiled and Kerry followed her into the living room.

“Do you have any films?” Susan asked as she sat herself down on the sofa.

“What do you mean?”

“Just… films.”

“Yeah, I mean, uh… kinda, maybe not the type you’re thinking of though...” Kerry’s voice tailed off.

“That’s alright, we can just watch whatever’s on.”

Kerry stood, passively watching Susan turn on the tv and set out the food she had brought with her onto the table before her. After a moment it registered that this may appear strange so in a hurried shuffle made her way to sit down next to Susan. She placed her hands politely on her knees and looked pointedly at the carpet in front of her. Susan glanced over.

“Are you alright?” She wondered aloud, a touch of a laugh in her voice.

Kerry furrowed her eyebrows, her mouth twitching in tandem, “Yeah, I-” she let herself process what she wanted to express before she turned abruptly round to Susan and queried, “Why are you here?”

The harshness of her voice and the absence of friendliness in Kerry’s general demeanour led Susan to feel as if she was being interrogated, as if she wasn’t welcome in Kerry’s home, and by breaching this unspoken contract of keeping distance between employer and employee she had perhaps angered the beast without intending to. It would not be the first time. But as she took her time to consider Kerry’s apparel, the soft plea in her eyes, and her stiff, clunky posture, the way she glanced at her leg every so often as if she was worried something would happen to it. But what could it possibly undergo? Except… judgement. Kerry’s defensiveness, her ferocity, so present in Susan’s life as a constant adherence and annoyance was down to experiences like she had had today. Susan could see that now. She knew that in the past she had only helped contribute but today maybe she could change that, but first, she needed Kerry to trust her.

Susan relaxed her shoulders and placed the empty take-out bag onto the floor underneath the sofa before she began.

“To cut a long story short; I’m bi.” She looked up to catch her eyes with Kerry’s as if to prove she was telling the truth before she continued, “And, when I was in high school, there was this most beautiful girl, she had dark hair and the pinkest lips and her voice always sounded like she was singing.” Susan closed her eyes, reminiscing.

“We were best friends, her and I, and we did everything together. I was intoxicated, but there was nothing I could have really done about it. I had a massive crush on her. I don’t know how they knew, perhaps I hadn’t hidden it as well as I’d thought but some of the boys in my year started teasing me about it, asking if I was a ‘lesbigay or whatever, and when I obviously didn’t respond and got embarrassed they um, they decided to announce it to the whole school.”

Kerry’s mouth opened, stunned into silence. This wasn’t what she had expected at all! Setting aside the fact that Susan was also gay, Kerry listened to her story with deep compassion, and horror. She tried to express her sympathies but only managed to stare at Susan wide-eyed and she hoped that the empathy she felt in her heart managed to express itself well enough on her face.

After looking at Kerry's face, Susan continued, “Yeah, it was pretty terrible, I lost a lot of friends that year. But um...” She paused for a second, considering her next words. “The thing that happened to you today reminded me of that and I couldn’t rest easy staying at home and thinking about it so I came over and did what I wish someone, a friend, or a parent even, had done when I was in that state. Because it is tough, and it is lonely. And no matter the shit that’s happened between us in the past, no one deserves that, no one. So as allies, I guess, let’s just pretend everything’s okay, just for tonight.” Susan smiled at Kerry then, and the redhead began to understand how much she had needed a friend, someone who would accept her, and understand why she had to hide. Someone to let her know she wasn’t alone.

“But anyway!” Susan clapped her hands together with a new-found cheerfulness instilled in her, disrupting the melancholy mood immediately. “Let’s eat!”

Throughout the evening they talked very little, making mild comments on the hallmark movies or about the food, and Kerry eventually found the strength to thank Susan for her kindness. Once the meal was over, Kerry produced a bottle of Pinot Grigio for the two to share and despite Susan’s inner voice telling her to ‘go home’ she accepted the offer. The alcohol loosened Kerry’s tongue and she was no longer sat like a meerkat on the lookout but instead as if she was spending an evening with a friend. Susan let Kerry cry and rested her head on her, oh the softness of the cashmere against Kerry’s cheek as she buried herself deep in Susan’s softness.

They stayed in that position for a while, even once Kerry’s crying had ceased, Susan would rub her hand up and down her bank comforting her and reminding her that someone was there. Someone who cared about her, who understood her.

The intimacy and the alcohol and the events of the day meant that once Kerry ultimately did lift her head up and came face to face with Susan, so close she could almost feel the light hairs on her face, she was overcome with this urge to kiss her. Not a rough kiss, nor a gentle kiss, more a kiss goodbye or hello, a kiss saying thank you. Her hand tenderly stroking Susan's jawline, suggesting the act was about more than just lust or circumstance.

At first, Susan lent into it, Kerry’s taste being much calmer than she had expected, but once she realised what was happening she pulled herself out of it, gently, so as not to potentially hurt Kerry.

Susan smiled a sweet smile, slightly flushed as if she was sixteen once more and encountering her crush in the cafeteria. “You’re a really good kisser,” she observed trying to relieve some of the deep mortification evident on Kerry’s face, “But not tonight.”

She helped Kerry to her bed before setting herself down on the couch and continued to grin, touching her fingertips lightly to her lips where Kerry had kissed her.

Not tonight, but next time...?

[itsclydebitches]

(WLW anon) I really don’t like the “bad rep is better then none at all”. I hate that. We should want good rep, because bad rep has been used time and time again by homophobes as to say we shouldn’t get representation. To me it’s not “gay can have the same flaws as het”, it’s “fix the flaws in the het”. Also I know Renora being independent was a good, I was just saying in comparison BB. Also, yes, they were separated, but also didn’t stop thinking about each other. Especially bad with Yang.

Indulge me for a moment because I want to take a trip down memory lane and list some—just some—of the queer rep that has been important to me over the years:

Ellen comes out both as herself and as her character… years later, she’s a hated millionaire who is criticized for how she treats her staff

The wildly influential Buffy gives us two women entering a loving relationship… except then Tara is killed off, Willow goes evil for a time, and Buffy comes under fire for Joss Whedon’s everything

The beloved and respectable headmaster of one of the most popular book series ever published is revealed to be gay… except it doesn’t count because it wasn’t in the text and now all of Harry Potter is cancelled because JKR is transphobic

Kurt is an unambiguously gay teen in a hugely popular TV series, acting as one of the first overt representations a generation has seen… except he’s way too stereotypical and Glee is a joke now

Orange is the New Black gives us a number of queer women, including one of our first trans characters… but isn’t it problematic that they’re all criminals?

Brooklyn Nine-Nine hosts an out gay captain and gives us a bisexual coming out story that resonated with many, myself included… except now we’re supposed to hate all the characters on principle because they’re cops

Korra and Asami walk off into the spiritual sunset together… but they never kiss or anything, so that doesn’t count either

Steven Universe gives us a queer relationship and a wedding… but it’s an issue that this is just a kid’s show and, really, does it count when the rep is embodied by space rocks whose entire species only creates a single gender? Feels like a cop-out

Same with Good Omens. Yeah, Crowley and Aziraphale clearly love each other… but you never see them kiss or declare their intentions. It’s great ace rep though! Unless you want to level the criticism that asexual characters are always nonhuman

A character intended to be a minor guest becomes a show staple and eventually declares his love for one of the two main characters… except then Castiel immediately dies, Dean doesn’t respond, and they never meet on screen again

I finished Queen’s Gambit the other day and the main character had a one-night stand with a woman! … but everyone is talking about how bisexuality is used to represent her lowest point, so that’s bad too

I could go on for literal pages. Some of these arguments I agree with (Dumbledore), others I’ve pushed back against quite strongly (Crowley and Aziraphale), but all of them are valid criticisms depending on what part of the queer community you’re in and what your expectations are. My point here is that it’s all “bad rep.” I mean that seriously. If anyone reading this is scrambling for the comment section to say why [insert media title here] is actually fantastic rep, I guarantee that someone disagrees. Or if they don’t, give it some time. Just wait until the characterization becomes offensively outdated, or another part of the story ruins the relationship, or it comes out that the author did something truly horrific, or the terminology changes and it’s labeled as “problematic” now… just wait. At some point, any rep we feel is good rep now will be criticized, cancelled, and dragged through the mud. The rep that I personally haven’t seen much push-back against—like the beloved Captain Jack Harkness in Doctor Who, or Schitts Creek that just won a ton of awards—is wrapped up in the criticism, “So it’s all just about able-bodied, cis, (mostly) white dudes, huh? :/”  Even the argument that queer characters need to be written by queer authors doesn’t hold up. I absolutely adored Sense8. “Wow, a gay main character in a loving relationship with another gay man, both of whom enter a loving poly relationship with a woman, another lesbian trans main character who marries the love of her life on screen, an entire cast arguably queer due to them sharing orgy scenes centered around the emotional intimacy they share, everyone survives, and this was written by two trans women! Great, right?” Well, not according to the wealth of opinions explaining how Sense8 is horrible rep, actually. Every piece of rep we’ve got is either currently flawed or will become flawed in the future.

So what do we do with that?

That’s where my “I’d rather have bad rep than no rep at all” comes in. For me, that’s not waving the white flag. That’s not an oath that I won’t expect better rep in the future (I do) or that I won’t criticize the rep we get (BOY DO I), but rather just an acknowledgement of reality. The vast majority—if not the entirety—of rep is “bad rep” in one way or another, but I’d still rather have it than nothing at all. Because I’ve lived just long enough and studied media just enough to know what nothing looked like. It was watching all queer characters meet untimely deaths. Before that it was watching queer characters be derided and treated as jokes. Before that it was nothing but coding, where queer characters didn’t exist except in our own headcanons and interpretations. Obviously “bad rep” covers a very large range of issues and “They haven’t even confirmed this relationship yet” is a bigger issue than “This queer character embodies one or two, mild stereotypes,” but ultimately I’d take any of it over nothing at all. And enjoying what we’ve currently got doesn’t mean I’m willing to settle for it indefinitely.

To use an iffy analogy, imagine there’s a factory. This factory makes plates. So. Many. Plates. Big plates, small plates, plain plates, decorative plates, plates for every possible occasion in your life—and everyone with a steak for dinner is pleased as punch. You though? You’ve got soup. You need a bowl. Your entire life you’ve been struggling to eat your soup off a plate (it doesn’t work) and listening to friends and family claim that the plate with a slightly raised edge could be a bowl if you squint (it’s not). To say it’s frustrating is an understatement.

But then, one day, the factory starts producing bowls too. Hurray! Except as soon as you get your hands on one, you’re told you really shouldn’t be using it, let alone praising it. Look at the state of that bowl! It’s cracked right down the middle, ugly as hell, shoddily made all around… you’re not really going to settle for that, are you? And no, you obviously still want the factory to produce better bowls, but at the same time, this is a bowl. You’ve never gotten one before and you can finally enjoy your meal, even if the soup leaks at times. Sometimes a lot. But you’re still feeling better about your meal than you ever have before. And what you then begin to realize is that lots of the plates are a mess too. They also have cracks, they’re also ugly, many are also shoddily made. The difference is that the factory is producing so many plates at such a rapid pace that every steak eater is able to get by. One plate breaks completely? You’ve got a thousand fallbacks. Don’t like the look of this one? A thousand other options. You disagree about what “shoddily made” means? Luckily there are enough plates that everyone can find what they prefer! But the bowls… there’s only a few. Some are really expensive. Others are only available for a limited time before they suddenly disappear. Your bowl breaks and you have to wait months, years sometimes, to get another one. You’re constantly told to go buy this one obscure bowl no one else has heard about and yeah, you like it... but you’d also like to buy one of the bowls everyone is already enjoying. You find yourself looking at the plates and thinking, “I’d like that. I’d like to have so many options that the flaws, while still a problem, are much more bearable.” You’re still going to demand that the factory get its shit together, you’re still going to (rightly) complain about the awful quality of your bowl… but it’s still nice to have a bowl, period. There are still things you like about it, even if it’s a mess: the color, the size, the beauty of the shape of it. Its potential. You’re still pleased you have something to enjoy and that helps serve the need you’re looking to fill, even if that something is imperfect.

That’s “bad rep is better than no rep.” To bring this very long response back to Blake/Yang, I don’t think their problems negate their benefits. Is their relationship currently non-canonical and filled with a number of writing issues everyone has a right to be angry about? Yup. I express that anger a great deal. Are they still half of a team on a very popular show that is (presumably) set to be canonized as queer? Yup. I’d much rather live in a world where big shows like RWBY try to include queer rep and fail in a multitude of ways—with the expectation and hope that they’ll continue to improve—rather than in a world where authors a) don’t care or b) are too scared to try. Because that’s where a “good rep or no rep” stance leads. The danger isn’t homophobes because they’re, well, homophobes. It doesn’t matter if the rep is good or not, they hate it on principle. But if queer authors writing for other queer identities, or allies writing queer identities, or even queer authors writing their own experiences (like in Sense8) continually come under non-stop fire for their attempts… there’s a good chance that many people won’t ever try. We’re already seeing that here on tumblr with young authors admitting that they wouldn’t touch [insert topic here] with a ten-foot pole because just look at what happens when you get it wrong. And authors will get things wrong because authors are fallible people forever unlearning their own ignorance. So though it might sound strange coming from a blog that has turned into such a RWBY critical space, I am glad that RWBY’s queer rep exists, despite all the frustrations that I share about it. I think a RWBY with various types of “bad” queer rep is better than a RWBY with no queer rep at all, particularly when “bad” or “good” is so intensely subjective. There’s a middle ground between passively accepting whatever we’re given, and tearing into rep with such ferocity that we end up rejecting it all. There’s a space where we can be critical of rep and embrace the parts that work for us, simultaneously.

I hope and expect the het rep will get better too, but… that’s never going to happen instantly. To quote RWBY, there’s no magic wand we can wave to fix all our problems. Rather, it will take slow, plodding, meandering, lifetimes’ worth of work to see that change occur and I personally don’t want to spend the one life I have waiting for that perfect rep to show up. Because it’s unlikely that it will. While we work, I’d rather find the good in what rep we’ve already got.  

[agoddamn]

Oh, it's that little Bonteri shit again. Wonder if we're at any time gonna talk about his mom's support for Care Bear genocide or the hilarity of her whining about her husband killed by clones (people with no rights)?

Star Wars is doing that funny thing again where we are TECHNICALLY portraying a democracy but it populates it with characters that run on dynastic inheritance; this Bonteri brat is LITERALLY just Some Fuckin Kid to a bunch of politicians. His mom being a politician is completely irrelevant to his qualifications to be here. But, y'know, The Drama

"We can't just let them take him! He'll be killed!" well maybe if you didn't let RANDOM FUCKING CHILDREN into critical negotiations...

Hang on, why did the droids drag him away anyway? This is being hosted on Mandalore BECAUSE it's neutral. That means that Mandalore's security is supposed to be enforcing the rules.

Am I gonna have to put up with comphet again?

Wait, he ACTUALLY has the title of senator? Even though he's like fourteen? How--ah, what the fuck ever

I do like how Ahsoka has these consistent little...gremlin animations

The backs of these purple senate guards are identical to clone trooper backs (rectangular pack with two lines and a circle on it, cylinder in small of back) because mold reuse is the true king of design

This is legit How You Can Tell how much a series's sense of design leans towards the toyetic; characters designed around being able to share the same mold for major body parts. You also see this a lot in Kamen Rider and Super Sentai, where goons will tend to have a copied chestpiece with unique helmet.

Is this sword logo on the chairs Mandalore's? This ship doesn't look all that art deco, and it was being run by R2, and the senate guards were outside it

This kid is not very smart huh

"There is another option" is it terrorism?

"Like [the Republic] helped my mother?!" you do remember that your mother was not part of the Republic and killed by DOOKU without any chance for the Republic to do anything, right...?

Like, this is a perfectly normal way to process grief but I'd appreciate it if someone pointed out how irrational it is

"a group who are noble and allied with my cause" ah yes, terrorism

How much longer til this little shit dies

[fake shock] Oh my goodness, terrorists!

Ahsoka's winter hood with the montral pockets and little puffballs is really fucking cute

There's often an implication/outright statement in fic that Mandalorian armor is androgynous but that is definitely not the case with what I'm looking at

There's not a whole lotta consistency with Mandalorian names, is there? "Satine" and "Bo-Katan" don't sound like they came from the same planet

Why do I have to deal with a fake relationship plot with Ahsoka and some walking, talking spoiled milk rather than literally anyone fucking else

.............so Bo-Katan's a lesbian

>Mandalorians are bullying droids and this is supposed to be ominous regardless of the fact that our heroes bully droids 24/7

WHATEVER

Death Watch doesn't recognize Ahsoka? Wasn't she pretty publicly involved in ruining their plans?

"Tell your woman to leave us" oh these guys sound VERY egalitarian and not sexist at ALL

Love how these guys are bragging about having Dooku's location as if that information isn't several hours outdated by now and Dooku isn't a guy who moves around a lot

"We are battle droids no longer. Now we are slaves." NOW? Oh, whatever

These guys look vaguely Mongolian? The girl's facial decos made me think Mirialan for a second, but I think they're new. In a very weird cultural appropriation boomerang, this dude's hat looks like Amidala's

"You have taken our women" ...oh, I was not expecting the rape implications to be that, uh, not-implied

So traditionalist Mandos are DEFINITELY pretty fucking misogynist

>there's not even an animation of Ahsoka taking her coat off, it just vanishes between frames

Goddamn, this really does drag when everything that's going to happen is so blatantly choreographed

I'm tired of Deus Ex Artoo

What kind of shitty terrorists don't even bother to take a ship that was parked on their front lawn?

"You know I can't go with you" LITERALLY why??? He hasn't committed any crimes by Republic standards. He's got valuable info on a terrorist group. He has similar goals to Ahsoka and he's just proven himself quite fucking incompetent on his own.

"We could try to change things from the inside" LITERALLY WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?? Dooku is a SITH, there is no "changing from the inside" with that shit!

"We make a pretty good team, don't we?" No

"We'll see each other again" FUCK

[somebody-in-this-world-who-lives]

Teen girls liking M|M and why I support it

Acctually, lets stop with the "Teen girls are fetishising m|m" bullshit.

You will defend the crap out of a 17 year old guy because he is "just a kid" if he did something wrong but will not stop talking shit about an eleven year old watching yaoi anime.

"Oh but they are straight and cis and..." *You* don't know that! Thats a developing human trying different interests. Have you ever thought they didn't have any other experience with non straight romance before and thats why it's not 100% down-to-earth when they try to write it? Because, by your own definition, they are kids? Kids who are trying their best to be supportive and learn while creating spaces where they can enjoy thenselves without the media and the people around them putting them down. Straight romance treatment of girl characters is exausting so offen, can you blame them for wanting to escape it? Sometimes it's shit when none of the characters you are supposed to project into in love stories look or act like you, so longing for something that doesn't even resemble you can be good.

No one bats an eye when "unrealistic" romance media is made to teen girls if it's straight. No one cares if so much of this genre is about putting their viewers down. No one even cares about boys watching animes with girl characters that are just boobs, they are kids, they can learn. So what is the dang problem? That they are excited about it? Having a place where they feel liberated to gush about relationships that thankfully don't involve them and being able to put that distance between them and media?

And I'll say more. "Fetishising" is a sexual word. When someone says grown man fetishize lesbians is because they get of on it. It's all over p*rn sites and a lot of people have been harassed over it. A pre-pubescent girl saying 'OwO hot, they are cute' to a scene on a fanfic is not the same thing?? The few cases of couples being bothered by little girls I've seen online are weird, and mostly frowned upon by other girls with similar interests. You can't belittle a whole group because of it. They are young. Some people will accidentally go to far. It's normal.

I'm not cis nor straight, but I've not always known that. And I started watching BL because anime girls annoyed me but I'm such a big romance fan. That, and being in fandon, was my introduction to the idea that people aren't always straight, and I own so much of my journey on being on these accepting communities. Even If they weren't always 'accurete to the experience', too idealized or if we don't use the same terms anymore, to them being gay wasnt shameful or hatefull, It was good! Gay people were the heroes of these stories and were allowed to fall in love and be different in stories that were funny and cute. Maybe some stereotypes were prevalent, but I much more prefer what a well intentined 15 year old wrote with maybe a lack of research to what was on mainstream at that time. BL was unlike gay media of when I was youger because even kids could watch it.

And you know what? I did. I felt awful coming on this site and being accused of harming people that I wanted to support, but looking back, I don't regret it, because at least I'm here. And even considering some of the people I saw were straight, they were on my side, and that is more than some of us can ask.

It's ok to want your allies to treat you the way you want to be treated and It frustrates you if you feel like you are being idealized, but kids aren't perfect activists and groups aren't monolithic. Don't make serious accusations just to make people who most likely care feel bad.

[collecting-stories]

Naive Melody - c. 4 - JJ Maybank

Request: no, just another blurb about these three.

A/N: Title based on the song This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody) by Talking Heads. The version I linked to is a cover by Imaginary Future. 

Creedence Masterlist | Outer Banks Masterlist

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

Bea shrieked like a teenager meeting their celebrity crush as JJ walked through the back gate with Pope, both boys looking every bit like they had forgotten what they were supposed to be doing until the last minute. 

Bea’s request had been simple, a garden party for her birthday with everyone in dress up. You had even donned a white summer dress for the occasion though it looked like your boyfriend of a year and a half hadn’t bothered to put on a clean shirt. Regardless, Bea didn’t seem to care and in all honesty neither did you.  

“JJ!” Bea came tumbling out of the bouncy castle that your brother-in-law had rented and ran for JJ, squealing as he picked her up at the last second and threw her in the air before catching her. In another year the now six year old would be too big for the move but for now she was still small enough for JJ to scare the life out of your sister.  

“JJ! You could break her skull! Is that what you want!” Your sister’s voice cut across the backyard full of people and he fought to hold back a smile at her agitation. While she couldn’t definitively list one thing she disliked about him she still enjoyed giving him a hard time whenever he came around.  

“No Dos, I don’t wanna break her skull.” He laughed, setting Bea back on the ground. “We’ll have fun later, don’t worry.” He promised, kissing her cheek.  

“Promise?”  

“Pinky promise.” He agreed.  

While he pinky promised Bea more time you gave Pope a hug. “I didn’t know you were home already, how’s school?” Your boyfriend had failed to mention exactly when your friend was supposed to arrive home from Duke, only that it was ‘sometime in the summer’. You knew you could’ve gone right to the source but every time you talked to Pope you always forgot.  

“I just got home this morning, I thought you knew, JJ picked me up…in your car.”  

“I told you I had to be at the ferry this morning.” JJ replied, throwing an arm over your shoulders and pulling you into his side. He kissed you cheek and you smiled at the affectionate gesture. You weren’t much for kissing in public, or around your family, but Bea had caught the two of you on occasion when you were sitting her.  

“I just thought you were picking up your other girlfriend.” You teased. Your shriek matched Bea’s when JJ wrapped his arms around your waist and practically lifted you off the ground, blowing a raspberry against your neck. “Get off, get off!”

“I know this is a kids party but you two are practically adults, I think you’re being a little immature. Maybe try to reign it in. Or save it for when you’re home?” Your sister suggested as she came over to where the three of you were.  

JJ pulled away from you, trying to look apologetic but failing, “sorry Dos.”  

“I swear to god it’s like having three kids.” She shook her head in disdain at you and JJ before giving Pope a hug, “please tell me you aren’t staying with these two while you’re here. You’d have better luck staying at the motel.”  

“Hey! No one’s ever found roaches in our apartment.” JJ replied defensively though he knew your sister was only joking.  

The small studio apartment that the two of you had rented out was part of an old plantation home that had been divided up in the 60’s when the landowner wanted to make more money off renters. There was a pool There was a pool in the backyard and the three other couples that lived in the house with you. A lesbian couple split the first floor with an old man and his wife, the middle was taken by a family of four, and the apartment across from yours was a middle-aged couple with no kids. It was a nice enough place and your sister had gifted the two of you some furniture that she didn’t want anymore.  

It had been a spur of the moment decision on both of your parts to move in together. JJ was tired of couch surfing and your sister’s standing rule of him not being allowed to stay over was doubly enforced once the two of you started dating. It took a year of saving and looking around and finishing out high school before the two of you moved but it was worth it in the end.  

“My mom is pretty set on me being home for the summer.” Pope replied.  

“JJ!” Bea shouted across the small backyard, waving him over, a rather perplexed look on her face. She was standing around with a small group of friends who had come for the party and the bouncy castle and the cake. Their parents had been left to mingle with your brother-in-law while your sister stuck to you and Pope. It had been harder than either of you expected when you moved out and whenever you were around your sister seemed to stick close, as if you’d up and disappear at any moment.  

“What up Beatrice?” JJ asked, coming over to sit with her and her friends.  

She wrinkled her nose the same way you did whenever something bothered her, frowning at JJ for the use of her first name. It had been fine when she was four but now she was six and all her friends had names like Emma and Ashley and Anna and she had Beatrice.  

“Why wasn’t I your flower girl?”

“What?” He looked back across the yard at you for a second but you were paying attention to Pope and Dos, completely unaware and out of earshot of the odd question your niece had asked.  

“When you got married, why wasn’t I your flower girl?” Bea repeated, looking truly perplexed. “Ashley said that when you get married you get a flower girl…why wasn’t I it?”

“Cause I’m not married?” JJ replied.  

“But you live together.”  

“Yeah…sometimes people live together before they get married.” JJ explained, trying not to get himself into trouble. “But when we do get married I’ll let you know.”  

“When will that be?”

“Hopefully sooner than later.” He glanced back over at you and the telepathic wavelength he’d been trying to accomplish earlier seemed to work because you smiled at him and then made your way over. Something he didn’t think too much about because he was busy admiring the dress you were wearing, one that, coincidentally enough happened to be white. When you reached him, sitting on a picnic bench with his back against the table, you sat on his lap, hooking an arm around his shoulders to support yourself.  

“What kind of gossip is happening over here?” You asked and suddenly it all clicked but JJ was too late because Bea had already opened her mouth.

“JJ said when you get married I’m gonna be flower girl.”  

“JJ said so?” You asked, looking at your boyfriend suspiciously. It sounded much more like something that Bea would say though the thought did have you in giddy knots thinking about marrying him.  

“I may have been cornered on the decision.” JJ explained, looking back to Bea and smiling, “if you’re the flower girl how are you gonna be my best man?”  

“Whoa, hey, wait a second.” You laughed, “why do you get Bea? What if I wanted her?”  

“No way…Bea’s my best friend.”  

“She’s my niece!”  

“Guys, guys,” Bea put a hand on your knee and a hand on JJ’s to get your attention, “I’m a flexible person!”  

JJ burst out laughing at her as one of her friends vied for her attention, pulling her back toward the bounce castle. You leaned your forehead against his collar, eyes shut and unable to stop the smile on your face. “So when is this wedding?” You teased, pulling away to look at him.  

“Don’t rush me.”  

“Oh I’m not, but I think my niece might be.”  

-

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[zamoimagines]

Words: 2393

Pairing: Ally Mayfair Richards x Reader 

A/N: this has been in my drafts for quite some time, so enjoy!

“Last order of the night folks!” one of the line cooks called back. Other employees hooted as the night came to a close. 

“Thank god, I’m ready to call it a night!” Carla, your coworker, said with a wide grin. 

“Me the hell too!” you added. 

The evening had gone by relatively slow at the restaurant. Perhaps that was the benefit of working a closing shift on a Sunday night. For the most part, you loved your job. Ally, your boss, was a well established business woman and you respected the hell out of her. She really cared about the restaurant and it truly showed through her work. Not to mention you loved all of your coworkers and genuinely enjoyed making carefully crafted dishes. You had to admit, this restaurant had become a part of you. 

Though things changed when Ivy disappeared. Without a culinary manager, Ally couldn’t keep up with all of the work on top of her campaign. The only thing she really could do was hire a new manager to help alongside her. 

You could hear a faint whistling sound coming from around the corner. Carla groaned to herself at hearing the familiar tune. 

“Ugh, what is he still doing here?” she muttered. 

You knew exactly who she was talking about. 

Chris took over the culinary manager position months ago in place of Ally’s former spouse. Everyone could agree that he changed the vibe of the restaurant, and it wasn’t in a good way. When Ally wasn’t around, he acted as if the restaurant was his. He treated everyone here like shit and it was obvious that he didn’t care about this place like the rest of you did. Everyone hated him. 

“Hiya, ladies! How are we doing back here?” a weasley voice called out. You could feel a chill run down your spine. 

Luckily for you, Chris had taken a liking to you. A very extreme liking. 

You did your best to keep your eyes on your work as he appeared. It wasn’t that he was ugly. He always kept his reddish brown hair tidy and made sure his beard was well trimmed. He always dressed professionally and had a deceivingly beautiful smile. You’d admitted that he was alright looking. Though he seemed to completely disregard the fact that you were a lesbian. 

“We’re fine, Chris. List’s almost done.” Carla piped up.

Chris completely ignored her statement and walked over to where you were standing. 

“Miss Y/N? How’s the list coming?” he asked, standing so close that you could feel his breath against your cheek. You tried hard not to choke on the smell of his cologne. 

“We’re nearly finished. The only thing left is getting the soup ready for tomorrow morning.” you replied reluctantly. 

“Oh, that’s nothing!” He exclaimed. “You can handle that, can’t you?”

Carla rolled her eyes. “Of course we can. Now, can we please finish up?”

Chris turned to Carla, flashing her a passive look. 

“Actually, Miss Williams, I won’t be needing you any longer. Why don’t you clock out and take off early tonight, hm?”

“But Ally scheduled me to close-”

“I understand that, but I think Y/N can handle taking your closing shift. Besides, I need to get you off of the clock anyway so you don’t run overtime.” 

Carla’s brows furrowed as your blood began to boil. You had been scheduled to open, then asked to stay an extra five hours. Now he wanted you to close by yourself? 

“Chris, I’d really prefer it if Carla stayed.”

“You’ll be fine! I know you’re capable. Carla, I’ll clock you out.”

As he walked away, your coworker growled under her breath. 

“What the hell is his problem? I’m not even close to over time!”

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault.” you muttered. “I’ll see you on Monday, yeah?”

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay? I can call Ally,”

“It’s fine… Really. Go get some sleep.” 

Carla nodded before getting her things. 

The rest of the night went painfully slow. Chris continued to keep adding items to your list, while others left. One by one, employees were leaving for the evening. The last dishwasher waved to you right before he went out the back door. 

“Night, Y/N!”

“Night.” you mumbled. You were so tired. You were the last one in the kitchen but you had finally finished your list. Beginning to clean, you made sure to rush so that you could leave as soon as possible. 

Just as you were taking off your apron, you heard the faint whistling begin once again. Your heart was racing. Chris was still fucking here.

He came around the corner and gave you a sly grin. 

“Done?” 

“Yeah… Is it good enough for tonight? I was supposed to leave hours ago.” 

Chris raised one of his brows. “Did you put the lids on the sink?”

Shit.

“No, I forgot. Let me take care of that…” 

You quickly rushed over to the sinks and placed the lids over them. As you placed the last one, you felt firm hands upon your shoulders. 

“Woah, woah, woah�� Why don’t you slow down? You can take your time, you know.” 

Chris was standing directly behind you, his mouth inches away from your ear. His thumbs began to gently rub into your skin. Your body was completely paralyzed. 

“I-I’m just trying to get home, that’s all.”

“It’s okay, Y/N. I see how jumpy you get whenever I’m around.” One of his hands brushed your hair back gently. “I know you want me.”

Your eyes widened as you wriggled out of his grasp. You took a step away from him. 

“Chris, look, I think maybe you’re reading things wrong-”

In an instant, he cornered you so that his body was pressed against your own. The edge of the counter hit the middle of your back. 

“You don’t have to play hard to get, sunshine. We can keep it a secret…” His arm wrapped around your waist and gripped you tight. You tried to push him off of you, but his hold on you was too strong. 

“Chris, get off of me!”

“Come on, sweetheart, just one kiss. I promise you won’t regret it.”

“Get the fuck off of me!”

He leaned his face close to yours. You could smell liquor on his breath. His lips barely touched your own as he gazed deep into your eyes.

“Naughty girl… Give Daddy a kiss.”

From behind you, someone cleared their throat rather loudly. You weren’t the only two here. You couldn’t see who it was, but you could see a wave of panic sweep over Chris. He immediately stood up straight. You turned your head to see the person standing there. 

“Christopher Martin, do you care to tell me what’s going on here?” Ally said in a rather stern tone. 

You had never been so happy to see your boss in your life. She must have come from her campaign, for she was still dressed in her pantsuit. You didn’t think she would be in tonight though you were completely grateful that she’d come when she did. 

“I… I was just trying to help Miss Y/L/N close-”

“That’s not what it looked like.” She folded her arms in front of her chest as she slowly made her way closer to Chris. 

“It seems like you were trying to sexually assault one of my employees.”

“N-No,” he began, “It’s not like that at all-”

“Where in the fuck do you get off?” Ally shouted. 

You bit your lower lip. Chris was absolutely speechless.

“I trust you with my restaurant while I leave to give my speech to the press, and I come back to see you pinning one of my female prep cooks down and asking her to call you Daddy.” The corners of her lips twitched in anger. 

“Honestly, Ally, she brought it on. She’s been leading me on for weeks, she was begging me to do something-”

“I do not give a flying fuck about what you have to say. Y/N has never once tried to lead you on, she’s a fucking lesbian for christ’s sake. Did that ever occur to you?”

“I… I..”

“Of course it didn’t, because you’re a fucking prick.” She towered over Chris as her eyes filled with rage. 

“If I EVER see you so much as glance at one of my female employees again, I will fucking DESTROY you. Is that clear?”

Your hand was covering your mouth. You had never seen Ally so heated like this. All Chris could do was nod his head, he couldn’t even speak. 

“Get the fuck out of my restaurant. You’re fired.” 

Chris’s mouth dropped open. 

“You can’t do that! I’m the culinary manager!”

“Not anymore. If you don’t leave now, I’ll call the cops and we can make this a bigger deal than it should be. I’ve beat a whole fucking cult before, I won’t hesitate to ruin your life.”

Chris angrily looked at you, then at Ally. She stood close to you, almost shielding you from him. You couldn’t believe what was happening right now. 

Without saying anything, he got his coat and stormed out the back door. Ally turned to you before taking your hands into her own.

“Are you okay? Did he hurt you at all?”

Her skin was warm against your own. This touch was much more welcome, more genuine. She made you feel so safe. 

“No, I’m okay.” you replied. “Thank you… It would’ve been so much worse if you hadn’t been there.”

Ally cupped one of your cheeks in her hand. “You don’t have to see him ever again, okay? I’ll make sure he never steps foot in here.”

You nodded but you were a little flustered. Ally had never been this close to you before. You got the occasional pat on the back and she would always come back to talk to you in a friendly way, but this was much different. Her eyes were gazing deep into your own as if she was putting you in a trance. You hadn’t even noticed the bright pink blush that had rushed to your face. 

Ally was lingering much longer than she had planned to. Her heart was racing. She wasn’t entirely sure why seeing Chris trying to hit on you filled her with so much rage. If it had been any other female employee, he still would’ve gotten fired and she would’ve been just as angry at him. Though seeing him touch you in such a disgusting manner gave her nothing but the desire to slit his throat. Holding you close like this was the only thing keeping her calm. 

“Uh… Why don’t you go get your things,” She muttered as she pulled away from you slightly. “I’ll walk you to your car.”

You didn’t question her. Immediately, you went to the back to grab your purse and your jacket. You took a moment to inhale slowly. Tonight had been an absolute rollercoaster. 

When you came back out, Ally placed her hand on your upper back and began to guide you out of the restaurant. 

“What about the closing work?” You asked.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll take care of it.” The politician replied. 

The parking lot was dark so you were thankful that Ally insisted on coming with you. Chris’s car appeared to be gone, but you could never be too sure. Ally didn’t leave your side once. As you pressed the unlock button on your keys, she opened the driver door for you. 

“Now, I want you to take the week off. Regroup. Take some time to recover from everything.”

“But I have a shift tomorrow morning-”

“I’m aware of that.” She glanced at her surroundings to make sure you were completely safe. “I’m going to cover for you, so don’t worry about it.”

“Ally, seriously I can come to work.”

“After what you went through tonight, I feel personally responsible. I cannot believe I hired such a creep.”

“You couldn’t have known he was going to do that.”

“Either way, I want you to stay home this week. You’ll still be paid and I’ll make sure of that. No one should’ve had to go through something like that.”

You were so shocked at her generosity. She was a great boss, but she was more than that. She saved your life tonight. You owed so much to her. 

“Um… Thank you. For being there…. I’m not sure what I would’ve done if he had actually done something.”

“Anything for you.” Ally said with a small smile. 

“Is there any way I could make it up to you?” 

Ally wasn’t one for others repaying simple favors. Instead, she saw this as an opportunity. There was a short silence as she pulled out a business card from her pocket. 

“You can let me cook you dinner. Tomorrow night, eight o’clock sharp. Are you free?”

“Yeah, I should be. Are you sure I shouldn’t be the one cooking?”

“Positive. You can repay me by giving me some company, does that sound fair to you?”

A wide grin was plastered across your face. You sat down in your car and turned the key in the ignition. 

“Sounds pretty fair to me.”

“Good. Get home safe, okay?” Ally closed your car door carefully before moving to walk away. 

You held the wheel tightly. Tonight had been horrendous, that was for damn certain. But now the Ally Mayfair Richards had offered to dinner at her house. Were you stuck inside a fever dream?

A loud knocking sound rattled your window. The sound caused you to jump as you turned to look out. Ally was waving from outside as if to ask you to roll your window down. As you rolled it down, she stuck her head in the frame. 

“Sorry to scare you! I was gonna say, make sure to text me when you make it home safe, okay? I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if something else happened to you.”

“Of course. Good night, Ally.”

“Good night, honey.” She squeezed your hand tight before making her way back into the restaurant. 

This wasn’t a fever dream whatsoever. You swore you could kiss Chris right on his disgusting lips for he’d scored you a date with the most influential lesbian in town.

REQUEST MORE IMAGINES HERE!

[vampireqrow-moved]

um its my birthday so wait until 12:01am pst to block me if u hate this post 🥰🥰

long story short the pansexual label is redudant and actively harmful (its far from the worst problem bisexuals face but it is one issue) and i dont hate anyone who identifies as pan because A) those ppl are bi like me and B) i used to identify as pan myself.

if thats enough for you to block me and make a callout post for me then i cant stop you but pretty please either read this whole thing or just wait a few minutes for my bday to end 🥰🥰

anyways im kicking off this point with some personal experiences bc i love to talk to myself. i got introduced to the pan label at maybe 10ish years old, and started identifying with it pretty much right away. i heard about it before bisexual and it was pitched as attraction to all genders and of course trans people. i was of course a trans ally! i had trans friends! i was trans also but hadnt figured it out yet! the way i had heard of it, there was no bisexual, there was no need for bisexual, and identifying differently was excluding trans people, which I was certainly against. being bisexual was trans exclusionary and why would i exclude trans people? the 'hearts not parts' slogan was thriving around this time and i genuinely said it and meant it.

as i started to become more online, mostly through roleplaying websites and tumblr here, i started hearing of bisexuality. it was supposedly an older term, so older people still used it, but it was common knowledge that pansexual was the better, inclusive label and younger people should adopt the new inclusive language instead of the old and transphobic words like bisexual. /s

and then bi and pan solidarity was all the rage! pansexual wasnt erasing bisexuality, why did anyone ever think that? bi and pan were two separate and complete identities that were valid and had to be respected or youre a mean exclusionist. and an asexual person, hearing people labelled exclusionist always meant they were excluding people from the lgbta community who rightfully belonged, denying peoples lived experiences, and generally telling people theyre wrong about their sexuality because theyre too young. and all of those things were bad and had hurt me, so it would be ridiculous to change labels and support "pan exclusionists" because they were just as bad as ace and aro exclusionists, and they were all the same people. or so it seemed to me at that time.

then, 'hearts not parts' began getting called out for blatant transphobic by insinuating that pansexual was the only identity that loved people for their "hearts" and personalities instead of those gross gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and even straights who only saw people for their "parts". (STRAIGHT PEOPLE ARE NOT OPPRESSED. I AM MERELY POINTING OUT THAT PANSEXUALITY WAS SHOWN AS ABOVE ALL OTHERS.) many pan people, including myself, began to denounce the slogan and insist pansexuality wasnt transphobic, there had just been a coincidence that a transphobic slogan was everywhere and a huge part of people's explantions of and associations with pansexuality. hint: it wasnt a coincidence.

from my perspective, this is when i began to see people discussing dropping the word pansexual. that seemed to be a huge step from getting rid off a transphobic slogan, and these people were just meanies who hated microlabels. and i like microlabels! as a genderfluid person, and someone who has friends who use specific aro and acespec labels, ive seen how people can use them to name specific experiences while still acknowleging their presence underneath umbrella terms like aromantic, asexual, nonbinary, lgbta, and for some people, queer.

pansexuals dont do that. they dont label pansexuality as a specific set of experiences under the bisexual umbrella, they see themselves as a separate identity, and even if they started to, the history of biphobia and transphobic undeniably linked to the existence of pansexuality in enough to stop being worth using. but i digress. pansexualitys shiny new definition that many people cling to is that pansexual is attraction to all genders. bisexual is two or more genders.

which. frankly? doesnt make any sense. my guess is that its supposed to be inclusive of nonbinary genders and those a part of cultures who historically have not had a binary gender system in the first place. i cannot speak for the latter group, but as a nonbinary person, its not inclusive. anyone can be attracted to nonbinary people. literally anyone. theres no way to know if everyone you meet is nonbinary or not. whether or not a nonbinary person reciprocates those feelings and is interested in pursuing a relationship is completely up to the individual, regardless of the sexualities of the people involved.

bottom line is that you cant number the amounts of genders someone can be attracted to, thus rendering those definitions pointless. people can be attracted to all kinds of people regardless of gender, even if they are gay, a lesbian, or straight. all people can date thousands of nonbinary genders if all people involved are interested and comfortable with it. numbering the genders you can be attracted to diminishes the post of nonbinary, as it is not a third gender, it simply any experience not fitting within the western concept of the gender binary (if the person so chooses to identify as such. if you cant tell already, the nonbinary experience is varied between every single nonbinary person.) important to note also that no widely accepted bisexual text defines bisexual as attracted to exclusively two genders or even the "two or more genders". i know this is used a lot but please read the bisexual manifesto. its free online i promise.

some people also claim pansexuals experience "genderblind" attraction while bisexuals feel differently attracted to different genders. this is very nitpicky for whats supposed to be two unconnected idenities, but thats only part of the problem. this definition is also not in any widely accepted bisexual texts, and bisexuality has never excluded those who experience genderblind attraction. i am in fact a bi person who experiences genderblind attraction. this does not mean i am not bisexual. it simply means i experience bisexuality differently than other bisexuals, and thats wonderful! no broad communities like bisexuality are expected to all share the same experience. we are all so different and its amazing were able to come together under the bisexual flag.

last definition, or justification i should say, is that yes these definitions are redundant and theyre the same sexuality, but people prefer different labels and thats okay. i agree in principle. people can define themselves as many things like homosexuals or gays or lesbians or queers or even other reclaimed slurs, while still not labelling themselves under the most "common" or "accurate" labels.

but pansexuality isnt the same as bisexuality, which may sound silly but hear me out. it has been continually used as a way to further divide bisexuals, who are already subject to large amounts of lgbta discrimination. "pansexuality was started by trans people who were upset with transphobia within the bisexual community! it cant be transphobic OR biphobic!" except of course that it can and it is. to say that trans people cant be transphobic is absurd. transmedicalism is right there, but thats not what im getting at. all minorities can have internal and sometimes external biases against people who are the same minority as them.

pansexuality was started as a way to be trans inclusive at the expense of labelling bisexuality as transphobic when its not. transphobia is everywhere, and bisexuals are not exempt. instead of working on the transphobia within the community, the creators of pansexuality decided to remove themselves from it to create a better and less tainted word and community, and the fact that pansexuality is intended to replace bisexuality or leave it for the transphobes goes to show a few things. pansexuality and bisexuality are inherently linked because the pan label is in response to the bi label. due to its origins, it is inherently competing with bisexuality and it cant be "reclaimed" from its biphobic roots. pansexuality is not a whole, separate, and valid label. its a biphobic response to issues within the bisexual community.

to top off this post, heres something a full grown adult once said to me. in person. she was my roommate. "i feel like im pan because im attracted to trans people. trans women, trans men, i could definitely date them. but not nonbinary people because thats gross and weird." she saw pan as trans inclusive and defined herself that way as opposed to bi which is shitty!

also a little extra tidbit about my experiences identifying as pan. i saw myself as better than every bi person. all of them. even my trans and bi friends. whenever they brought up being bisexual i would think to myself "why dont you identify as pansexual? its better and shows people you support trans people." because i was made to believe bisexuality didnt and was therefore inferior. thats the mindset that emerged from my time in the pansexual community. i am so sorry to all of my bisexual friends even if they never noticed. i love you all and hope you have a great day. this also goes to any bisexuals or people who identify as bi in anyway, such as biromantic or simply bi. love you all.

ummm yeah heres some extra reading i found helpful and relevant. here and here. also noooo dont disagree with me and unfollow me im so sexy 🥴🥴🥴