#tf2 sniper x y/n

[mehidktbh]

Spiders

Pairing: Mick "Sniper" Mundy x Fem!Reader

Summary: A hot summer day attracts all types of insects to get into the base, out of the hot sun and humid air. Only to be faced with their death by someone not so keen on them.

Warning: Swearing, the killing of a spider? Ngl this is just something I threw together before I slept. 🤷🏼‍♀️

A/N: Wanted to make this before I write my next Simon Riley fic (thanks to your votes). But this also came from today when I found a little Black Widow Spider in my shoe. Still living in Australia I cannot with any insects. (Also it's canon that Sniper has a feat of Spiders, I was there)

How much longer of this humid sun did you have to go through? At first, you thought that the summer would stay when needed, but no. You've got months ahead of you, knowing you're going to wake up in a pile of slickly unpleasant sweat every day. Even worse is the lousy air conditioning in the base, it's been fixed so many times it runs as low as it can. Just as bad as the air circulation too.

So here you are, slouched over in the main room, the leather seat sticks to your bare skin the second you'd get up. You'd be carrying the whole couch along with you. Scout sits next to you, his loud huffing is getting annoying, and one of his arms is slung on the back of the couch. Just touching your head but you're too into heatstroke to realise he's nearly touching your hair.

Sniper sits next to you too, a chair for himself as he spreads fully out. His usual smirk rests on his face as he casually looks over to the two of you. "Gettin' comfortable 'ere?" Scout slowly looks over at him, a scowl on his face. Usually, he'd fling himself across the room, both hands probably strangling the poor bushman but all he can do is roll his eyes.

"How abou' 'cha Y/N?" A weak smile slowly appears on your face, and you flick him a thumbs up. Only he sees right through your smile. But he nods sharply, flicking his attention to the TV. To him, an interesting documentary on animals hibernating. How different animals do it in different seasons and how bears survive through the cold season catches his attention more than you and Scout combined.

But you're too busy looking over at the small old-fashioned fridge. You begin to wonder how cold it really is in there, usually, the beers don't get nearly as cold enough to drink comfortably but still, that's better than nothing. So gradually you start to get up, the leather breaking apart from your skin makes you cringe but it dies out over the TV.

"Bears can be woken easily during a mild spell of weather, but may not have enough energy to survive the rest of the winter. Which is why-" "AHH!"

Your inarticulate and high-pitched scream easily overpowers the TV, even with its high volume on it's enough to echo throughout the whole base. "Holy- What?" Scout's Boston accent quickly appears behind your terrified figure. Sniper also sprints right behind him to reach you from across the room. Looking over your shoulder to see what's got you shaken up and pointing at.

Expecting to see another head or organ which Medic decided to leave unattended in the fridge or on the kitchen counter. But instead, he only spots a little Black Widow Spider sitting unsettled on the counter. Eating away at the bread crumbs left behind from Heavy's sandvich.

"Kill it, Scout, before it kills us!" You frantically order Scout, only he groans in annoyance. "Jesus Y/N! I thought you found someone fucking dead" Your hands shake his shoulders back and forth quickly. "Well, you're about to find my body if you don't-" Before you can say anything he leaves swiftly. Ignoring your pleas as he tiredly walks back to the couch.

Looking over to Sniper you give him the same look in your eyes, a plead. "Pfft, watch an' learn" You watch as Sniper leans over to the counter more. The movement of his arm quickly alerts the pernicious red spider as it begins to move quickly. A yelp nearly leaves Sniper's mouth as he backs away instantly.

"You're scared?" You ask not out of laughter... well maybe. But more because you generally thought he'd be used to Spiders by now. Living in the outback much mean he's dealt with them thousand times before, right? "Nah'm not." His usual down-to-earth and easygoing face now flashes bright red either from the humid air or is now because you mention his (unknowingly) fear of spiders?

But before you can mutter out a single word he reaches over the counter again, his eyes glued to the Spider chilling there. His whole hand flexed and tense as he quickly snatched a tissue from the box. The sudden sound sends the Spider flying in his direction. It sends him flying backwards, his hands coming out in front of him like he was going to fistfight the insect.

You on the other hand you're now snickering softly, the fear you felt before going away as you watch Sniper unravel in front of you. He quickly catches onto your laughing, a glaring cold look replaces his scared expression as he pushes past you. His shoulders square as he swiftly squishes the spider under the tissue, a gross sound following.

"See, m' not scared of spiders..."

[supernatural-bias]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐬 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐀𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

↳ includes: scout, engineer, heavy, medic, sniper, and spy (i forgot demo i'm so sorry)

↳ warnings: bad translations, slight mentions of world war two and malpractice

↳ song: with a little help from my friends—joe cocker

masterlist | commissions | carrd

𝐒𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐭

• He would be so smug about it

• Puffing his chest out and everything

• His friends in the past- and even family members -have teased him for mispronouncing words or speaking too fast, and it’s made him a bit self conscious about the way he talks. But after hearing that you find it endearing, its a giant ego boost for him

• “Yeah dat’s right! Who’s awesome? I’m awesome!” Scout smiles as he flexes his arms in your face, subjecting you to what he likes to call a surprise gun show. You pretend to hate it as you shove his arm away, but chuckle all the same

• He’s already gloated before that he already knew his accent was the best. Boston is the greatest place in the world after all! But hearing it from you really just sent him over the moon

• Makes a point to talk to you a lot more now; as if he didn’t already

• “Yo! Hey did you see that kill out there? I totally messed dat Spy up! One wrong step and pow! He’s dead meat!”

• “I saw Scout. I was covering your flank while you did it, remember?”

• “Yeah yeah, but I just thought you’d like ta hear about it again.”

𝐄𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐫

• Didn’t consider himself to have an accent until you pointed him out

• Sure, he says the occasional y’all and ain’t, but not enough to qualify as a whole different way of speaking

• It wasn’t until he dropped a hammer on his foot and cursed that he understood what you’d meant

• “What in the sam hill! Sweet hell!” He’d exclaimed, startled. Once the throbbing in his leg had subsided, Engineer replayed his words in his head, making a slight o with his mouth as he realized you were probably right. To some extent at least

• He was a born and raised Texas boy, so it makes sense that the culture rubbed off

• Doesn’t understand at first that you find it nice. Maybe he thought you pointed it out just because you could? He’s a bit distracted when it comes to anything but machinery, so he misses context sometimes

𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐲

• Surprised that someone like you who can speak English fluently finds his mannerisms attractive

• Gets frustrated sometimes when he can’t remember certain words in English. Heavy is a very smart man, so it aggravates him when he looks illiterate in front of his team

• That’s why hearing that you like his mother tongue caught him by surprise

• “But you don’t know any Russian?” He’d rumbled out as a question. When you shook your head no, still sporting a smile, his eyebrows furrowed further

• “Nah. But I like hearing it when it comes from you. It sounds more natural. Like you’re more comfortable than normal, you know?”

• You’re technically right. When Heavy slips into Russian, often whilst talking to Sasha or simply forgetting that not everyone on the team know how to speak it, he is more comfortable in his words. They flow better, and he’s flattered that you’ve noticed

• One hundred percent offers to teach you Russian in his spare time. He finds it slightly adorable how you stumble over words in your broken translations, but always manages to softly correct you

• He’s a really good teacher

𝐌𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐜

• Positively thrilled that you like his voice

• When you tell him for the first time, he goes into shock for a moment before breaking out into the biggest smile you’ve seen. Somehow its a perfect balance between excited and malicious

• “Do you hear zhat Archemedies? Mein freund here enjoys my accent!” He cooes at his bird, chuckling in a way that would make anyone’s insides squirm

• Once you look past Medic’s initially devious reaction, it’s very clear he enjoys knowing this

• If anything, the ex-doctor would have thought that you’d enjoy the more stereotypically romantic sounding languages. Spanish, Latin, etc

• German has always been considered harsh or scary sounding, and it turned a lot of people away from hiring him after the events of World War Two, which he understood. Still, Medic finds himself absolutely tickled that you are drawn to his accent

• Finds himself slipping more and more into German while doing checkups on you now. When he catches himself, he translates most of what’s he’s said back to you. But sometimes he’ll simply forget, and it leaves you wondering if he’s offered you a glass of water or the opportunity to swap your bladder out

• You sincerely hoped it was the former

𝐒𝐧𝐢𝐩𝐞𝐫

• Oh my god you killed him

• Sniper is very reserved. Living in his camper, hunting his own game for dinner instead of joining the others, literally pissing in jars, etc etc

• Being a man of few words comes part and parcel with that; which normally works out just find because Scout talks enough for ten people

• Hasn’t said much to you before. He mostly communicates in head nods or slight tilts of his coffee mug in your direction. Maybe a few ‘good mornin’s’ tossed around, but nothing more than that

• “You know, you should talk more.” You’d said to him one day while pouring a fresh pot of tea you had just boiled into your own mug. He preferred black coffee himself, but whatever floats your boat

• “You voice.” You elaborated after a sip. You must have noticed his confused look as you carried on. “It’s nice. Can’t imagine that you don’t have gals throwing themselves at you all the time because of it.”

• Suddenly very grateful he wasn’t drinking any of his brew at the time, because what you said surely would have made him choked

• He, in fact, had had a few ladies approach him in town before saying something along the same lines. Even a few fellas. But nothing made him blanch this strongly like you had

• Excuses himself as he walks out of the room suddenly, tilting his hat down to cover his face no one can see the furious red tint forming

• Sniper leaves you in the communal kitchen. Holding a steaming cup of liquid and looking very confused

𝐒𝐩𝐲

• Already knew before you told him

• To anyone else, it would have been passible as just curiosity. But Spy’s job is to know things, and it is an undeniable fact that you found his voice attractive

• Doesn’t utilize this weapon often. You are not a weak willed person swayed by just a few words, so when he needs something he pulls out all the stops

• Of course, that doesn’t stop him from being impressed when you eventually admit your little not-so-secret-secret to him. And of your own free will. He didn’t have to pry it out of you, which was a feat on its own

• Much like Heavy, he extends the offer of teaching you how to learn his language. Now that he no longer has this knowledge as a bargaining chip, he might as well seize the opportunity to teach you a proper language

• Considers using electroshock therapy to condition you faster, but nixes it pretty quick

• Again, like Heavy, he finds it cute how horrible you are at French. More amused than anything, but he can appreciate the way you practice verbs in your free time even when he isn’t leaning over your shoulder

• That you know of, that is

• Praises you often in french, letting excited phrases slip when you nail a particularly hard set of words

• “Merveilleux ! Tu t’améliores beaucoup, ma petite. Encore une fois.”

• While you don’t understand the full extent to his words, you smile and continue on, eventually realizing what he had said later in a fit of embarrassment

[bluespace-writer]

Hi. I want to make a suggestion: Their s/o goes completely missing. How does the mercs react?

If not all mercs, van I suggest Sniper, Soldier and Engineer?

TF2 Mercs reacting to s/o going missing - [platonic, romantic]

Mercenaries: (Sorry I didn't do all of them): Scout, Solider, Sniper, Spy and Engineer

Scout:

> Scout is the first one to notice your absence. He walks around the base looking for his bud but when unsuccessful his first thought will be "Ah, they probably went on a mission or something" and goes back to continue his activities

> When some time passes Scout starts to worry. Sure he could understand that some contracts are hard to finish but everyone were always back before day ends. And you are still not back.

> He can't stand it and decides to look around the base trying to find you. Unsuccessful after his research Scout is getting more worried

> I imagine him runing around from room to room, asking some guys about you only to hear that you still aren't back. Oh boy where are you?

> His reaction that you are missing next day fills him with worry. Why? How?! Where are they?! Why did they disappeared??

> First one to volunteer to look for you

> If you are his partner or if you have crush on each other be ready to be swarm with hugs and worried fast talk after this

> After you are found his first reaction is to put his arms around your shoulders and ask milion questions. Where were you, etc. Now he won't leave you for a whole week. "What? Noooo I wasn't worried about you, but don't disappear like that!" won't admit it but he missed you. A lot.

Solider:

> He won't see your absence at first, it will take some time for him to realize there was supposed to be 10 and not 9 people around

> He will shrug it off thinking you are just away

> He is going to find out you are missing only when someone points out your absence to him in person

> "SHALL KNOW NO FEAR MAGGOT!! MISSING WILL BE FOUND!!" He screams out loud, while running to the next room to look for you

> Alright.... it's been some time now. Where are you?... He is going to miss you buddy. He cares for his team, and is actually worried.

> When you are found he will lecture you how to not get kidnapped or lost again. That especially applies if you are his partner (you won't escape crushing night cuddles)

> Give him love, he missed you a lot, even if he doesn't show it

Sniper:

> He notices your absence after a while. Does it make him worry about you? Nope. He is going to come back to him van or practice his sniping skills not thinking about your disappearance too much. You all have a lot of work to do after all

> Hours will pass before he finnaly decides to look for you. Just to see where you are so he wouldn't have to think about it anymore

> When checking your most visited spots don't bring him any luck he'll ask some of teammembers about you.

> When it brings no luck he decides to look for you on his own. Come on.... where are you mate.

> After you are back safe and sound expect him to be not far away from you for.... three or more days, watching you from far away. Just to be sure you won't disappear without a word.

>If you are in relationship with him, he won't show any signs of beeing worried, but privately he'll give you a hug, or hold your hands close to his face

> He missed you... and he is glad you are back

Spy:

> He know you are missing before anyone does.

> He know his teammates well, from their activities to schedules and habits. He is a Spy after all, his job is to mimic people.

>When you are not doing something that according to his observation, you were supposed to do, he is going to look for you (invisible of course)

> Strange.... you are not here... not in your favourite spot... not around your favourite people. This.... is bad news.

> He lets everyone know you are missing, and is the first to volunteer to look for you

> Back at the base he isn't going to stick around you very long. Just long enough to know you are well. He is kind enough to make you a drink

> When you are that one special person close to him, know he is going to take you to his room to give you best treatment you have ever received in your entire life. He will ask questions, how, who, what, why's and all that. Be patient with him, he wants to know details.

> Kisses on cheeks and hands, to let you know he missed you

Engineer:

> He is a busy man, but he is observant one too and is going to notice you aren't around.

> Will ask around first instead of looking for you by himself. When answer won't satisfy him, this is when he'll look for you.

> Is the first one to rase the alarm to let everyone know you are missing

> Come on.... where are you?? It isn't like you to just be gone for so long...

> He is the one to find you and bring you back safely. Is the one to give you check up alongside Medic

> Expect him to ask you a lot of questions, just to be sure you are feeling alright. Will not leave your side for a while and is going to check on you from time to time bringing cookies or something to drink, like water or tea

> "Darlin' stay with me will Ya? Just... want to be with you" He is sweet one, wanting best for his partner, in the romantic way too. He doesn't want you to be missing again when he is being distracted with his work. Hold his hand and kiss him! He wants to be sure you are save dear...

[respawned-dove]

GOD your headcanons are so good... could i maybe get a short fic with a yandere sniper x transmasc reader.... doing gods work ouult here

I hope you don't mind it, anon, I heavily headcanon Sniper as transmasc as well, so this will be t4t.

yan! transmasc! Sniper x transmasc! Reader - NSFW

CW/TW: stalking, violence, noncon voyeurism, implied necrophilism (not descriptive, imagined by a character and not actually happening), marijuana & cigarette mentions, self loathing, sadism

Worn leather boots trudge up sandy dirt as Sniper steps out of his camper, shifting the strap of his gun as he looks up at the buildings above him. In the dark, the apartment blocks and houses loom overhead with darkened windows. He’s been here often enough that he knows exactly the fire escape to climb, and the exact ladder from there that takes him to the roof. Settling into the highest point, he sets up his gun in a makeshift nest. The only reason he brought it, really, is the scope. His scope is a fucking nice one, he doesn’t even hazard a guess at how much it cost the people he works for. It’s perfect for seeing long distances, for seeing into the crevices of every place he’s not meant to look.

Through the small lens, he focuses in on a seemingly random apartment, seeking the content within. The lights are still on, and being so high up, you never close your blinds. It gives him a view of your bedroom window, like a private theatre screen. He checks his watch, which reads 22:00, around the time you get into the shower every night. Annoyingly he has some time to kill before you’ll be there to watch. Grumbling to himself, he pulls out a cigarette to smoke. Lit, he pulls a puff of smoke in, eyes still focused through the scope.

Sniper has been watching you for a while now, though what started it he himself can hardly remember. A bit too much kindness shown to a stranger in a public place, being followed home without noticing, and now you have a gunman’s sights trained on you for life. He closes his eyes as he takes a particularly deep breath of nicotine, something itching in his mind. It bothers him often, the idea of approaching you again. You wouldn’t remember him, surely. It would just be an organic meeting, an organic going out for drinks.

With a grimace, he puts out the cigarette on his own hand, scoffing at himself. As if he feels at place enough in a bar to take you out, or could have a normal conversation for once in his life. It’s not worth the risk of ruining the chance. He prefers the fantasy of you. The idea of having you to himself, without any of the practice required to maintain a relationship with a human being.

Before he can dwell on his moping, there’s movement in your room. You step out of the bathroom, wrapped in a towel. His cheeks grow ruddy and his hands grip tighter to his gun as he watches you move. He remembers the first time he saw you like this, the brief confusion at the towel being over your middle and bottom at once. But it came off and showed him the stars. Thinking about it stirs him up, and as the towel falls from you in his scope, he tugs his own pants off a bit, unbuttoning them to reach his own tcock.

Touching himself slowly, firmly, he watches you move around the room naked. Dumb thing to do with your blinds open, he thinks. Like you want someone to bloody stare at you. He bites his lip, hard, breathing out heavily. The thought that you know somehow, that you would want him to be seeing you like this, it makes his whole body hot. You’ve laid out on your bed, naked. Innocently relaxing post-shower. All while giving him the perfect view of your entire form.

Your body is softer than his. You’ve definitely not been taking testosterone as long as he has. Eyes half closing he pictures how warm and gentle your flesh would be, yielding to his hands as they would squeeze and prod at you. In his mind he pictures what your moans might sound like. He imagines how easily you might get aroused with him touching you, how easily his fingers would fit into you. He curls two into himself, imagining it’s your body instead. It makes him shudder and groan, adjusting the scope to zoom in on you even further. God, it’s like he’s right there in bed with you.

He bites a tooth into his fresh cigarette burn, crying out and groaning quietly. Would you do things like that for him? Would you hurt him? Let him hurt you? In the hot night air he’s drenched in sweat, jerking himself off to the sight of you, the idea of you. He imagines putting on a harness and using a toy on you. He’s never done that before, but with you he wants it. He wants it, to feel you pinned under him like a caught animal. Crying under him as he bites and claws you.

You’ve rolled onto your stomach on your bed, and he wants to be there, on top of you, feeling you, hurting you. He strokes his tcock hurriedly, feeling his knife split your skin, feeling his hands hurt you even beyond the ways he’s hurt men before. Hitting you, carving into you, smashing your head onto the ground until you’re silent. Warm blood coming from your skin. And his hands the cause of it all, pleasure, pain. He feels you cum. He feels you die. And then he cums to the thought.

The clarity of what he just got off to hits him before he’s even done orgasming, and he reels his face away from his scope, panting hotly. The redness in his face becomes one of shame rather than arousal, and he clutches a hand into his shirt as he tries to calm himself down. What kind of sick freak is he, what was that? He knows what it was. He thinks these things often, no matter how much he pushes them back. Even on the battlefield he feels that excitement, the arousal of someone dying by his hand. Pleasure found in splattering brains. But, you? Did he just think that of you?

There’s a reason you’re better off as only an idea to him.

He wipes his hand on his own clothes and packs himself back up in his van as quickly as possible. Drives far away, even past his team’s base, out into the desert. Quiet. It’s quiet out there. He parks, and rests his head on the steering wheel. Nothing but the sounds of night out there now. And him panting.

Sleep doesn’t come for him that night, and instead he spends it trying to stop thinking about you and how you’re sleeping. He smokes, then smokes weed instead, and watches the sun rising while telling himself he can’t even go back and watch you again, that he can’t let himself indulge in the sadism he can never wash his brain from.

But he will go back. And he will watch you again. And of course, he’ll cum to those exact thoughts, again and again.

[th3tism]

Hey, if you like my stuff, pls request MORE stuff!!! All of my info is in my pinned post!!!

[zealous-starlight]

Update number 4

Hello and welcome back! A whole bunch has happened but I'm happy to say that I'm ready to hop right back into this thing! There have been quite a few changes over the past few months so let's get right into this.

First off, I finally have a computer! Which means I'll be moving to coding on Renpy! I may have very little experience in coding but I feel like I've made quite a lot of progress into learning how to make what I want to, so while the first few months of coding might be slower, I'll be making quicker progress soon. Not to mention that I now have access to a lot more features!

Also due to this, I will be making updates a monthly thing, since the progress will be quite a bit slower for some time.

Unfortunately I have also managed to lose the outline for the story during the move, as I had written it on paper and placed it in a folder that is missing. I still have a few notes written in my phone and have thankfully memorized a lot of it, but the more organized idea is gone and the plans that came with them. So I'm going to spend some time getting that fixed up first.

As for how the art side of things is going, I think I'll have my first finished model for Spy soon. I've been experimenting with lots of different art styles as of recent and I think I've finally found the one I want to stick to.

Anyways, that should be all for now! If any of you have any questions or concerns feel free to ask! My dms and asks are open for any and all questions!

@aerowolf @schnozzlebozzle

[junkratswifey]

SHIT BET!

accidentally catching sub sniper pleasuring himself in his camper, so we decide to give him a hand? wink wink;3

fem reader please!

DUDE YESSS I LOVE SNIPES 😭😭✨

Not really Warnings but containing: Dom reader, pet names, swearing

NSFW UNDER THE CUT

Y/N was taking her morning walk, as per usual. She hadn't seen Sniper for a while, so she took the route that went past where his camper van usually was. She walked for about 10 minutes before she reached it. Suddenly, she heard some noises from it.

They sounded like whimpers..no—groaning. But the groaning sounded pleasurable. Relieving even.

Y/N walked up to the van window and knocked at it. "Snipes? Are you in here?"

The noises stopped. Sniper tried to tone down his voice. "U-um.." his voice cracked a little, "yes..I'm in here."

Y/N put her hand on the door handle. "Can I...come in?"

"NO!" Sniper cleared his throat, "Uh, n-no. I'm...doing something."

Y/N pulled on the handle, not yet opening it. "Well whatever you're doing sounds nice.."

He exhaled in a mildly erotic manner. "I-it is.."

Y/N took that as a sign that she could open the door, so she did. "What are you doing in here that's so fu...n...?"

Her face turned red, still not as red as Sniper's. There he was, buck ass naked, laying right in front of her.

"Oh my.." Y/N sighed.

Sniper tried to pull the small blanket back over his waist, but Y/N grabbed his hand first. "Don't be ashamed, Snipes. We all do it."

His face turned red-hot. "I-I know...but you're um..." he looked Y/N up and down, "a very...attractive lady, and I'm just some bloke, y'know?"

Y/N was about to leave, when she saw Sniper holding something in his left hand. "Hey, what's that?" she asked, pointing to the item.

Sniper blushed before putting it under the blanket. "Ah—nothing."

Y/N put her hands on the blanket and slid it down slowly. "No, I want to know what it was."

His eyes remained on her porcelain hands, gracefully moving the sheet. She finally found the item and flipped it over. "Oh. my. goodness," she said, "is this a picture of me?"

He snatched the photo out of her hand. "Yes, what a-about it?"

She grinned. "Snipes, don't tell me you have a crush on me."

He sighed. "Maybe just a lil one.."

She put her arms around Sniper's neck, making him gasp. "What's wrong? Is this making you..." she pauses and gets close to his ear before whispering, "nervous?"

He chuckles lightly. "No, ma'am. I—I've just never had somebody really take care of me like this before."

She smiles softly. "That's okay. I suppose I'll just have to..." she slowly drifts her hand down his stomach, "spoil you, maybe?"

He shivered at her hand. "Um..with all due respect ma'am, your hand is really close to my—"

He's cut off by Y/N's (non-dominant) hand. She covers his mouth with it, whilst still using her other hand to pleasure him.

"Do you like this," she pauses, "Mun Dee?"

WAHHHBHB I LOVE HIM SO MUCH 😖😖😖

[supernova41st]

Can I request tf2 mercs with a reader who is literally the Embodiment of >:3, like reader will hide spy's knife in a different mercs room, leave a singular finger mark on heavy's weapon, replace demoman's skrumpy with coffee, ect ect. Basically reader is a little sh!t and loves to tease the mercs (the reader is basically a cat who's only Purpose is to make the mercs have tiny Inconveniences on the daily)

So unkawaii of you.. 🍡

Tf2 x reader

A/n: hi g🍅🍅🍅🍅 owww stop it 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅stop pls🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅a🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅I just wanted to🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅say h🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅i🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅im sorryr🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅stopitp🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅ls

Warnings: Piss drinking, ‘I’m a minor’

They’re all this close 🤏 to executing you. Can you blame them? You’re a menace!!

Your antics were first just “you so crazy girl!!!” To “you’re fucking insane.”

You do the absolute most, you can’t just touch heavy’s gun and leave it at that! You have to grab a bunch of Lisa Frank stickers and decorate poor Sasha

“Holy fuck y/n what the hell did you do..”

“What? It looks better.”

Once heavy entered battle he noticed people snickering at him, that was when he noticed all the cute stickers on Sasha

Yeah you’re as good as dead

They will never let you near a phone again, once scouts MOM called the base and you just happen to be right next to it..

“Hello?”

“Hi!! I’m Jeremy’s mom just calling to see if he’s doing okay”

“No he died sorry” click

2hours later

“WHO THE FUCK TOLD MY MA I DIED??”

Sometimes the beef at the base isn’t about you, so you have to make it about you

‘a bunch of screaming’

“AHHHHHHH”

“WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU SCREAMIN’ FOR?”

“idk I’m going to sleep”

UnSpiking beer>>>

You can replace it with coffee ORRRR, grab one of snipers jars yes we’re going there

“Y/n, you low down scallop.”

“Why are you blaming me? Snipers the one who pisses in jars!!”

The gaslighting is unreal when it comes to you, no one is safe from your manipulation

Esp on the enemy team, you’d pretend to be hurt and immediately shoot them

“Ow you broke my fucking nose asshat!!”

“Shoot uhh, hey I know I’m not supposed to do this bu-“

“Sike” 💥

Belittling the mercs is also fun, you’d randomly pinch their cheeks or scratch their ear like their some dog to really get them mad

But as soon as one lays a finger on you all hell breaks lose

“Nice job out there private!!” Back pat

“STOP TOUCHING ME, I DIDN’T GIVE CONSENT. IM A MINOR, A MINOR.”

😣..

You fuck with scouts relationships sm, imagine calling into Ms paulings phone and acting like ur his sidepiece

“Hello?”

“ARE YOU THE WHORE MY BOYFRIEND JEREMY IS HOOKING UP WITH?

“What?”

“YOU BETTER PLAN YOUR FUNERAL NOW CUZ GIRL TRUST YOU WILL BE DEALT WITH.”

Then you casually watch a scout and Pauling fight over something you started like

[salmon-bagel]

Tf2 mercenaries x Seductress! Class! Reader

Warning: nsfw content, female reader, sexism

Scout

When Scout heard that there's a woman who's a professional at seduction, he had already started plotting.

"Hello, name is Y/n L/n, but you can call me the Seductress. It's nice to meet you."

"Heya, nice to meet cha' mommy- Oh, i mean mommy i mean mommy i mean mommy i mean mommy-"

Constantly hits on you. Scout believes that you're the type of girl that's 'easy', someone who will let anyone bang them regardless of who they are.

That boy isn't going to leave you alone until you let him into your pants.

Even when he's not busy trying to get in between your legs, Scout is asking you for advice on how to woo the ladies. Considering you're a professional at flirting with people.

You go back and forth on giving him good advice and bad advice. Sometimes you feel bad that he can't get a girlfriend. Then again, you think to yourself that no woman should be within three feet of Scout because of how much of a horny asshole he is.

After some time, you did grow to have a soft spot for him. Since he's bullied a lot by the other mercenaries. He can be kinda cute when he's not being a complete jerk.

Soldier

Soldier treats you like the other mercenaries. Ruthlessly bleating in your ear when you're doing something wrong.

"GIVE ME ONE HUNDRED SQUATS NOW! I WANT THAT AMERICAN ASS NICE AND PERKY BY THE TIME YOU'RE DONE!"

He wants the best from you. Regardless of your gender, he'll push you to the limit until he's proud enough to call you a warrior.

Soldier tests that you're a good seductress by making you flirt with him. It's an ego boost on his part, but he's genuinely trying to make sure you're hot enough for the enemy.

"YOU CALL THAT FLIRTING!? I'VE HEARD BETTER FLIRTING FROM A MONKEY! AT LEAST THEY CAN PUCKER THEIR LIPS BETTER UNLIKE YOURS!"

Buys you clothing that he believes would work well when you're seducing the enemies. It's always american themed swimwear or lingerie. You began to believe he's just buying that for himself for you to try.

Whenever the team successfully wins for the day, Soldier immediately rushes towards and smacks your ass as hard as he can.

"NOW THAT IS AN ASS I'M PROUD TO CALL AMERICAN!"

Sniper

Sniper believes your work is very unprofessional. Considering he believes you have to whore yourself out to the enemy team. Instead of using your actual skills.

He says he has nothing against prostitution or sex work in general. Sniper just thinks that stuff you do should be kept behind doors and not on the battlefield. He says it causes too much of a distraction. However, you claim that 'distraction' is the point. Sniper doesn't seem to get it.

You honestly could care less what he thinks. Snipers throws jars of piss for a living, and he really thinks he has the right to judge other people?

The truth is you're good at seducing people. Too good. That it distracts him from doing his own job. Sniper has a tendency to watch you through the scope of his gun.

The way your body gets all hot and sweaty from the terrible heat, oh it does something to him. Sniper has imagined licking your sweat off your tits while you degrade him for being such a filthy fuck.

You are his go-to jerk off material. The women in his porno magazines don't get him off like they used. The only way he can relieve himself now is by imagining your fat ass bouncing on his cock.

When he noticed a pair of your panties in the laundry basket, Sniper couldn't help himself to inhale the sweet scent of your panties before putting them back.

Sniper knows he's a damn hypocrite.

He slut shames you for what you do, only to get off to you afterwards. The post nut clarity consumes him with guilt and shame.

Sniper still hasn't built up the courage to apologize to you.

Heavy

Heavy is one of the very few people who treat you like an actual human being. He was raised by a single mother alongside three sisters. Heavy knows to treat a woman right. Less he wishes to face their fury.

Heavy doesn't understand why you seduce the enemy. You're supposed to shoot at the enemy, not bat your eyelashes and wink! However, after watching your work on the battlefield, he gets to more of an understanding.

"Oh, I see. You lie to enemy and lure them in like fish? HA! Very clever!"

Absolutely loves gunning down the enemy that is distracted by you.

Is one of the few men who genuinely falls for you for your personality. Heavy knows you're drop-dead gorgeous, but he knows that beneath all that beauty is a truly intelligent woman. You earned your place on the team by impressing Mann Co., with your skills instead of batting your eyelashes and begging to be a part of the team. You make his heart swoon like no other woman has.

He likes to write you poetry. It helps convey how he feels for you because he's too bashful to put it into simple words.

Heavy is not afraid of anything. Nothing, not even death itself. However, it took him a lot of courage and constant rehearsal to ask you out on a date.

He hopes to start a genuine relationship with you. Heavy doesn't want a one-night stand or be friends-with-benefits with you. He wants you to be his girlfriend and maybe possibly his wife later down the line.

Engineer

"Well, I'll be! Aren't you the prettiest thing I've ever seen."

Engineer is taken aback by your good looks and sauve personality. He genuinely questions why you wanted to be a mercenary. A beautiful lady like yourself is too of high risk to get hurt!

Will always be there to help you if it gets too much for you to handle.

However, he can be very overprotective over you on the battlefield. Engineer thinks it would be safer for you to stay on the rancho relaxo than getting shot at by the enemy. As much as you'd like to not do anything on the job, Mann Co. isn't paying you to be lazy. They see everything and will tell you to get off your ass and start fighting.

You have to beg Engineer that you can do it on your own. He understands your point of view and begrudgingly lets you fight with the others. Even if it means going against his code of defending and protecting a lady when she needs it.

While putting up dispensers and sentries, he can't help to admire you from afar. Engie believes that a guy like him has no chance with a girl like you. What woman would be interested in a bald man who has a robotic hand and locks himself away in his work? No gal that's who.

Engie fantasizes about working up the courage to flirt with you and ask you out, which would eventually lead to a rather sensual night spent together. He did try to ask you out once but miserably failed. Engie kept stuttering and mispronouncing words out of nervousness while attempting to seduce you. You couldn't make out what he was trying to say. Thankfully, Demo had the heart to pull Engie out of that mess of a conversation and save him from further embarrassing himself.

So now, he just admires you from afar. Dreaming that one day he'll get to win your heart.

Spy

Surprisingly, he wants to get to know you as soon as possible. It's not every day you get to meet a lovely lady.

When he learns of your class type, oh boy, this man will make you question if you're even meant to be the Seductress.

"Mademoiselle, you are the most beautiful creature I've ever laid my eyes on."

"Do you know why they call Paris the city of love? Why don't I take you there and show you?"

"If the verb ‘to love’ didn’t exist, I would have invented it upon seeing you."

Spy leaves your entire face red and completely frozen after he's done talking to you. He's so flattering and charismatic. In comparison to the other men, he makes it seem like they're not trying at all. It isn't their fault, though, Spy is a natural at wooing the ladies.

You're surprised when Spy gifts you things that you really like. You never shared these intimate details with him before or with the other mercenaries. When you asked him how he knew what you specifically liked, Spy merely winks at you and grins. He has a way of receiving information without anyone knowing.

He has a tendency to kiss the back of your hand whenever you two are greeting each other. Spy is a gentleman and can't help himself to be sweet to a beautiful woman.

When Spy asks you out on a date, you agree to it because you have been meaning to go out. You felt like you'd go insane if you stayed in the base any longer. You put on your best dress and left with Spy into town.

After having a nice meal and a few glasses of wine, both of you give into temptation. Spy could hardly keep his hands off you when he drove you both back to the base. All your clothes came off the moment you reached his bedroom. You found it a little strange he refused to take off his mask. Oh, what the hell. He's hot and treated you to a nice date.

In the morning, you receive uncomfortable stares from the other mercenaries. Let's just say you and Spy weren't exactly quiet during your lovemaking. Unfortunately for the others, you decided Spy would become your fuck buddy.

Medic

He's been meaning to include a female subject in his experiments- I mean, he's glad to meet you!

You try your best to steer clear of him. However, on the front lines, it isn't so easy. When you're constantly getting shot at and stabbed by enemies, you'll need the Medic's help to get better.

When he sees you in action, Medic feels a new emotion that he's never felt before. Is this.. love? Maybe it is. Or maybe it's just lust.

Medic has never been infatuated with any woman. Except you. The way you lure in these pathetic men with your good looks and false promises, only to kill them afterwards- oh God, it makes him giddy. He feels like a schoolboy all over again!

Medic does routine check-ups on you. To make sure all your lady parts are in working order. In reality, this perverted fuck wants to have an excuse to grope you. Always gaslights you into believing he's not being a degenerate.

"Is this really necessary?"

"Why, of course! Breast cancer isn't something to take lightly!" He'd respond. You would understand, but after thirty minutes of him fondling your breasts, you knew what his true intentions were.

Medic writes you love letters and his dove, Archimedes, deliver them to you.

The letters start off relatively sweet. Medic writes that he views you as a Goddess, a truly ethereal being that is too perfect for this world filled with lesser mortals. And how he's the only man truly worthy for you.

Then, the letters take a complete turn the more you read it. He writes how he wishes to fulfill every filthy fantasy he's ever had with you. Oh boy, the list is long. For one, Medic wants to tie you down, gag you, and breed you like the filthy whore you are. Another consited of how he wants to fuck you on the battlefield while you're bleeding out and fingering your open wound as if it was your pussy.

You've stopped reading his letters and tend to light them on fire.

Demoman

"So, how much do you regularly charge for a quick shag?" He'd ask you before laughing his ass off.

Demo will never take you or your work seriously. Even if you politely ask him to.

He doesn't see what's so hard about showing off your tits and saying how much you love to suck cock. Demo believes you should've been a stripper if you wanted to tease men so desperately.

You frequently explain to him in detail how you help and provide for the team. You honestly can't tell if Demo deliberately forgets or because he gets drunk so often, he hardly pays attention to you while you talk.

Don't worry, though. After you've instilled the fear of women into him, he'll be gladly reminded that he shouldn't judge or ridicule a woman. If his mother were here, she'd knock some sense into him.

Demo apologizes to you, drinks, gets drunk, and apologies some more

"I'm sorry, lassie! It's just that I just get so lonely sometimes! What woman would give me, a one-eyed freak, a chance!"

He bawls on the floor, crying in front of you. You attempt to cheer him up by comforting him. Instead, you end up getting drunk with him.

Did you shag him in the heat of the moment? That's all up to you ;)

Pyro

Has no idea what you're doing to the enemy. Anything sexual you do is translated as innocent in their vision. Will never know what real seduction or sex.

Luckily, they think everything you do is nice and polite!

Regularly gives you grotesque gifts, which are usually human hearts and bones. You begrudgingly take the gifts because you know they mean well and don't wish to be disrespectful.

Pyro has a tendency to go through your closet when you leave your room. Or while you're sleeping. Either why, they steal your clothing and belongings. They pick out outfits and wigs they like along with makeup supplies. You wonder where you placed your dress and immediately begin searching for it. Maybe you left it in the laundry room. As soon as you exit your room, you see Pyro wearing your clothing over their suit. Fake eyelashes have been glued onto their eyes, and lipstick smeared all over the breathing hole.

You can't even be upset with Pyro. They're doing their best.

You let Pyro keep the dress they're wearing, considering it most likely wouldn't fit you anymore.

[jermer10]

Oh god.. this is a bit depraved but here we goHello! Uh if you are taking requests right now, could you maybe make a spicy TF2 mercs x male!reader where the reader is into weapon play (could be their reactions to simple things .. like a gasp from the gun touching their skin to something more smutty, your pick!)It'd be nice to have all mercs but if too much sniper, soldier and engineer would the the 3 favs!

TF2 male s/o with a weapon kink

18+ only, male reader | tried to add some heavier nsfw, i hope you enjoy anon!

includes: soldier, engineer, sniper tw: sexual content, weapon play kink

drabbles under the cut :P

Soldier: - Soldier knew about this kink long before he had started fucking you - he may be stupid, but he knows what an erection looks like, and you were always rock hard after watching him bash an enemy to death with his market gardener - so he decided to confront you, like any concerned teammate would - ARE YOU ATTRACTED TO ME, MAGGOT?", he pressed the shovel into your throat, backing you into a corner - subtly isn't his strong suit - "what the f..fuck..?" your skin crawled with arousal - you couldn't speak, let alone think with the rusted edge of the weapon tugging at your skin - "why do you ask?" you choked out, face flushed in embarrassment - Soldier shamelessly palmed your erection, "THAT'S WHY." - you groaned, jaw slack and eye brows furrowed. you expected Soldier to relent, yet he continued to stroke you through your pants. - subtly DEFINITELY wasn't his strong suit, and to be frank you were enjoying the way he was man-handling you - "I SHARE THIS...ATTRACTION." a sickening grin plastered on his rough features and his shovel pressing harder into your trachea - his body was so close to yours, backing you against the concrete walls of the base and forcing himself onto you - your eyes rolled to the back of your head as he continued to grope at your cock - "fuuuuuck Soldier p..leas..e..." your voice was gruff, the words seemed to be drawn out of you "PLEASE WHAT, CUPCAKE?" you didn't take him for a tease - "fuhck me!" you plead, throatily moaning at the cold, stinging sensation of the shovel cutting into your throat, your cock throbbed, the fabric rubbing your dick raw - you didn't have to ask twice, Soldier pushed you to the ground, ass up, knees scraping against the concrete floor, and market gardener pressed strongly between your shoulder blades

Engineer: - he would never admit it, but if he had a dollar for the amount of times he spent fucking his fist thinking about stuffing you with the muzzle of his shotgun, he would be rich - so when was walking past your room and noticed your door ajar, hearing the unmistakable slick sounds of masturbation, he couldn't help but peer in, hoping to get some new material - and when he saw you fucking yourself with a pistol and breathily moaning his name, he knew that he had to help - "hey darlin', seems like you were callin' out my name?" he knocked on the doorframe, smirking at the way you scrambled to cover yourself - "now don't you worry, y/n...i'm here to help," your face was burning - he positioned himself behind you, leaning against the wall and pulling you into his lap - Engie pulled the gun out of your puckering hole and began thrusting - your slutty moans, accompanying the praising whispers and sticky noises of the gun and your asshole meeting repeatedly, bounced off of the walls in your bedroom - Engie, feeling the high from the moment and the power he held in his fist, clicked off the safety on the gun - you began to shake, adrenaline coursing through your veins and the fear that at any moment the trigger could be squeezed - he lazily stroked your cock with his right hand as his left drove the gun into you - even if he did kill you, you would just respawn with no memory of the last hour or so, but he wanted you to remember everything - it was all becoming too much for him, he could feel himself reaching climax as your writhing body pressed into his chest and crotch, and when he finally came, you came with him - ropes of cum lathered his hand and your bare chest, Engie was impressed, to say the least - but despite your joint climax, he wasn't finished with you

Sniper: - Sniper's hide site was in a heavily concealed room sitting atop a random abandoned building - where he was and what he was doing didn't matter, you had been targeted by the enemy team's Sniper, and despite the fact that from where he was perched you seemed clearly annoyed, he couldn't help but see the redness in your face as the other Australian cornered you time and time again with his kukri - countless backstabs from Spy, bonks with Scouts bat, nothing came close to the way your face would go beet when he held the knife to your neck before swiftly ending you - Sniper wanted to try it for himself, clearly you had some sort of attraction to him - and he would be lying if he didn't find the idea of forcing you to suck him off while holding a blade to your throat hot - he signaled you to come up to his spot, making sure no one followed you - "hey, what's up man?" you huffed, you looked exhausted - Sniper felt awkward, but the erection in his pants was unrelenting and the way your eyes met his with a sort of nervous lust didn't help - "on your knees." he simply stated, unsheathing the kukri from his belt holster - your face went blank, did you hear him correctly? was Sniper wrong about his assumption? - "oh god, you saw me with the other Sniper..." realization hit your face, and so did an embarrassed flush - you bashfully knelt, doe-eyed looking up at the New Zealander-Australian man - Sniper unbuckled his pants, his cock springing out into your face - he held the knife up to you "suck." he commanded, his face flush and his palms sweating profusely

[mrsvalentinefucker1]

Check up

Medic TF2 x f!reader

Cw: none

You sat in your room, bored out of your mind. Waiting for God knows what to happen. It was always the same; Scout was being his usual annoying self. stupid and cocky, all day long he was fawning over Miss Pauling, Sniper was doing whatever he does all day long, no one knows because he’s never inside, and Spy was stretching in the most awkward and what looked to be the most painful way ever. Heavy was making lunch, Pyro was outside being his usual most authentic pyromaniac self, Soldier was yelling about some noises he heard outside and how we all should be prepared, Demoman was drunk and passed out, and Engineer was somewhere doing something.

But what really caught your eye the most was that Medic was nowhere to be seen or heard from. It scared you the most since he only did this when he was working on something, and usually, it doesn’t end well for anyone or anything. After 10 more minutes of lying down, you decided to watch something on TV. You switched it on and sat down in your mirror, admiring your body’s build. Your lean muscles and a toned, soft stomach. Your perky breast that you always prided yourself on because, well, it made you feel good when all the men drooled over them... Your mind began to drift, and a warm pool in your stomach began to form as you began to imagine what it would be like to be fucked so hard that you went braindead from the sheer pleasure. You kept imagining this scenario, but only one person took control of your pleasure in it. Medic. His stoned, muscular body and chiseled face haunted your imagination. You stood in front of your mirror, grabbed it, and positioned it in front of your bed. You walked over to your drawer and carefully pulled it open, trying not to make any noise that people on the outside may hear. You pulled out a crystal-clear 8-inch dildo. Your face was burning. Hoping onto your bed with anticipation, you slid your pants off and laid in front of the mirror, admiring your already slicked pink folds, running your index finger up them, and giving your clit a little nudge. A moan escaped your mouth. You then began to place the tip of your toy on your pussy, running it up and down your cunt. Imagine that it was your beloved doctor who was doing this to you. Slipping the head in, you paused, allowing yourself to adjust and break around the cock. You watched your body with intense eyes as your legs began to shake from anticipation as you awaited the feeling of becoming full of the toy. You pushed it in further, a loud moan leaving your mouth. You bit your lip to keep yourself quiet. You quickened your pace straight from the start. Your pussy begged to be used and broke around the doctor's thick cock. “Oh, fuck, medic.” You let out a breathy laugh. “Oh god, fuck me." You closed your eyes and leaned your head back, hoping no one could hear you over the loud TV. Two knocks fell on your door, but you didn’t hear them over the sound of the loud sounds you and the TV were making. Medic walked in, staring down at his clipboard. “Y/n. It’s time for your yearly physical,” he said, looking up at your form. “Oh my..“

“What are you doing in here?! Ever heard of knocking??” 

“Mein Mädchen, I did knock.” He stood there with the clipboard in his hand as it hung down by his legs. “But. You were the one calling for me? No?” A grin stretched over his sharp face, his pearly white and sharp teeth flashing in the light of your TV. 

“Let’s turn a light on in here.” He flipped the switch, and light began to rain on the room. “Much better.”

He sat down next to you.

"GET OUT!” you shouted 

The man leapt up and walked out the door, turning around to wave at you and smile before shutting it. “I’ll be back in 15 minutes!” You heard from the hallway. 

“Oh my god..” Your face fell into your hands. “This sucks!! I’m so dumb. Why did I have the TV up so loud? Oh god, why didn’t I just do it in the shower? I’m so stupid!” You forced yourself to endure the most awkward moment of your life. Living again and again and again until you couldn’t think right. 

You got up and got dressed, putting your toy under your pillow and making the bed. 

A few minutes passed, and the same knocks fell on your door again. “It’s open..”

The man walked in.

“mein Mädchen! Are we all set?” He grinned at you as he sat down on your bed next to you. 

Your face was burning hot, and you were still embarrassed from your last encounter. 

“Now, let’s check those reflexes!” He pulled out a red rubber hammer and tapped your knees a few times, earning a delightful groan from the doctor. “Your reflexes are amazing. schön!"  He wrote something on his board and threw it down. 

“How long will this take?” You asked as you gripped your pants. 

“5 minutes. Why? Do you want it to take longer?” The doctor grinned at you. You’re blowing it off as you look the other way. 

He grabbed his stethoscope. “Now take some big, deep breaths for me; can you do that?”

You nodded as he set the instrument on your back.

“Good girl.”

You took three big breaths as he moved the stethoscope to three places on your back. 

“Now the front.” You repeated the same pattern as he did the same motions on your chest. Your face is burning from him being this close to your face and breasts. 

“Wunderbar.” He took the plugs out of his ears, letting them rest on his neck as he again wrote something on his board.

“Now. Y/n.”

You looked at him.“Yes..?”

“Are you sexually active?” He looked up from his clipboard.You froze.. Was he really going to ask you that!? "No,” you replied.“Masturbating frequently?”You cleared your throat. “What?!” You glared at him. “Are you actually asking me that?”

“Ja! It’s perfectly normal and healthy! You know masturbation and sex can relieve cramps during your menstrual cycle! That’s good, no? It can also shorten them!” He grinned, flashing his white, sharp teeth at you. “And you know, sex while menstruating can heighten the sensitivity of your orgasm.”You gave in and answered his question.“I guess, yeah.” You looked back down.“How often would you say?” Jotting down on his clipboard“About twice or three times?” You tried to hide your face from the world.“A week?” He repliedYou noddded“Busy girl, huh?” He looked up with a grin, his glasses falling to the bridge of his nose.“Uh- y-yeah.”Your body was on fire. He sat next to you, his rough, calloused hands on your shoulder.“You’re very tense. Are you stressed?” He whispered in your ear, sending shivers down your spine.“A little bit,“ you craned your neck to the side so his hit breath wouldn’t hit the shell of your ear.“That’s not good now, is it?” He stepped away.Picking up a thermometer and putting a cap on it. He pressed it against your lips. “Open up, Taube.” You opened your mouth as he slid the instrument under your tongue.“Good girl.” He wrote something down while he waited for the thermometer to beep.“98.1” he tossed the cap and slid the thermometer back. “Splendid.”

“You look a little hot; would you like some water?” You didn’t answer. He looked at you and then at your pillow. Seeing something glistening in the light. Moving the pillow slightly to reveal the rest of the hidden dildo.“Mein Liebling. What’s this?” He grinned, knowing exactly what it was.“Oh my god! Give me that!! “

“So, that’s what you were using earlier, ja? When were you calling out my name? And wasn’t it in front of this mirror? Oh, you minx!” He pulled you in front of the mirror by your waist. “Look at how cute you are, liebe. I can’t believe someone so cute can be so filthy-minded,” he began, kissing down your jawline and neck.“D-doctor..” you stammered“Hmm? Ja, what is it?”

“Please…” You took one last glance at yourself in the mirror and then shut your eyes.

"Please, what, schatzi?”

“Please..” You let out a breathy cry. “Touch me.. Fill me with your cock. That’s all I’ve wanted, and it’s all I want now."Oh, how naughty.” You felt him grin against your neck.You sighed

“I will, dear, but first you have to tell me what you were thinking about earlier when I walked in on you touching yourself.” He squished your cheeks together and forced you to look at him in the mirror. His erection is starting to poke you in the back.“I-“

“I��what, darling?”

“I was thinking about you. How good your cock would feel sliding up and down my wet pussy! How lustful it would feel to have you pound into me without giving me a chance to adjust.” You turned around and fell into the man’s large chest. “I want you to fuck me so hard I can’t think straight!!” The man went silent as his big hands reached the small of your back.“That’s adorable, Liebling, but did I tell you to turn around?” You looked up and shook your head.“N-no sir..”

“That’s right.” He turned you around, sat down, and sat you on his lap, letting his hand slither down your pants, playing with your soaked cunt. Medic started messaging your clit and biting your ear. You moaned and closed your eyes. “Ah-ah. Don't close your eyes, baby. Look at me.” You opened your eyes and eyed the man in the mirror. “Just like that, yes, good girl,” he responded.The man slid your pants and panties off all together and began to plunge his thick fingers into your drenched and sensitive pussy, curling them halfway in. You let out a loud gasp as your eyes widened and your head rolled back.

The man chuckled. “Ooo, I think I've found your sweet spot!” You let your body fall into his and grabbed his chest for dear life. Your orgasm was fast approaching as his other hand reached for your neglected clit. Medic began rubbing circles as he fucked you with his fingers."M-gonna-c-cum." You looked up at him with lust-blown eyes.Then. He stopped all together.“Wha, why did you stop!?”The man didn’t answer; instead, he picked you up again and tossed you onto the bed.“Hands and knees, Mein Mädchen.”You nodded. “Yes, sir.”He began to undress himself, pushing his glasses back up to his eyes.The man began to position himself behind you, rubbing your hips and kneading your soft ass.“Fuck me, Dr. Ludwig.” You looked at him in the mirror and said, “Please.”

“Aww Schatz, do you want your daddy to give you a reward for being such a good girl?” The doctor sang into your ear.These words would’ve made a pornstar blush.“Fuck! Yes!! Please!”The man happily obliged as he chuckled at your neediness.He lined his thick cock up with your tight cunt and bottomed out, and without giving you any time to react, he began pounding into you. “Ach du lieber Gott,” he muttered.Pulling your body up to his chest as he forced you to look at yourself.“Look how pathetic you are, Y/n.. so needy!! I love it!”Moans started flooding from your lips.His other hand found its way to your clit again, mercilessly rubbing it over and over and over again.“Fuck—uh! I love it when you touch me like that!! God!!”

“These noises you keep making! It makes me want to wreck your cute pussy, Frau!! gottverdammich!”His pace became more rough as he reached his orgasm.“Fill me with your cum! Please Ludwig!”A smack fell on your face.“That’s DR. . Ludwig, du Schlampe!”

“Yes, ah, of course! I’m so sorry, Dr. Ludwig! Please forgive me!!”The man didn’t answer and instead kept pounding into your cunt .“M-I’m- gah! I’m going to cum! Fuck!”Your walls tightened around his thick cock, milking your own orgasm off of him.The man forced you to keep looking at yourself.“Me too.” He pulled you back to kiss him as he filled your pussy with his seed. Feeling it overflow and run down your legs. He let go of the kiss, and you fell limp onto the bed.“Say,” he rummaged through your drawer, “why don’t we try this next?” He raised an eyebrow as he held a pink bullet vibrator.You were definitely in for a long, long ride.

[supernatural-bias]

𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐬 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐀 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐇𝐚𝐬 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐜 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

↳ includes: scout, medic, pyro, sniper, and spy

↳ warnings: talk of pain but nothing too in detail. specific area of pain is kept ambiguous for inclusiveness

↳ song: teenage dirtbag—dsiboys

masterlist!

𝐒𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐭

• Scout is honestly just bummed you won't be playing any baseball games with him anytime soon

• He strikes me as the type of guy to not take your illness as seriously as he should, often making pokes and jabs of you just wanting to get out of stuff, until he sees one of your bad days with his own eyes

• After that, he's so ashamed of himself for how he acted. Shuffling his feet and rubbing the back of his neck anxiously; all that jazz

• Is a lot more aware of your needs now

• Still puts up a front. Refuses to be anything sort of quote unquote 'manly', so expressing that he's worried about your wellbeing is hard to do in front of the others

• Does care about you, though. He might get teased for it— resulting in the tips of his ears turning red and a bunch of angry denial —but at the end of the day he'll offer up his prized comic books for you to read as a distraction

𝐌𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐜

• Medic has undoubtedly noticed your condition far before you chose to tell him. How he had figured it out so quick, you had no idea, but he probably found out the same way he knew what your blood type was. Despite never having given him a sample

• It's a bit weird at first, having someone who constantly wants to do invasive surgery on your body actually offering to ease your pain.

• It is Medic after all. A small part of you had been nervously wondering if he would get some sort of sick joy out of watching you struggled to do basic tasks

• Instead, he was giving you special visitation hours with Archemedes while he tinkered with what he dubbed 'Your Problem Area'. Whether that was your knees or back or shoulders, a file on your condition quickly opened and the quickest course of action was taken to remedy it

• Gives you little suckers at the end of your visits and a big smile for a job well done

𝐏𝐲𝐫𝐨

• You aren't sure if they understand what you're saying when you first explain it

• To be fair, you can't decipher them on a normal basis, so this was expected

• But Pyro just tilts their head before letting out what sounded like a sniffling noise and bringing you into a bone crushing hug

• You wouldn't be able to tell, but in their own special Pyro Vision, the arsonist could occasionally see a painful red surrounding you anytime you felt like this. And it pained them to know you were hurting from something other than the scheduled battles

• Colors you crude little drawings with their box of crayons Engineer bought them. It often depicts you and them riding unicorns or jumping over rainbows. Always smiling and having fun

• Takes to plastering little cartoony bandaids over your skin. They don't really solve any actual pain, but the thought is still there

• Will make little fires for you and bring you to them happily. Normally, it's followed by Heavy or Engineer rushing over to put it out before it spread

𝐒𝐧𝐢𝐩𝐞𝐫

• On the off chance that he actually came out of his trailer, Sniper would be awkwardly helpful

• He most likey heard you talking to Medic or complaining to Spy about your chronic pain, and put two and two together

• Why you were shut up in your room durring mealtime somedays, constsntly seen walking in and out of the med bay, taking numerous amounts of pills in the morning, etc

• Is discreet in his care. It'll be little things, like telling Scout to 'lay off mate' if the Bostonian is hounding you about your lackluster performance that day; even if only as a joke

• If Sniper is lucky enough to bag some game on one of the ceasefire days, he'll approach your bedroom door and offer you a bit of the meat he cooked. Won't be offended if you're not up to it, just puts it in the fridge for later if you change your mind. Makes sure that the rest of the team knows it's for you, too

𝐒𝐩𝐲

• Spy is probably the most elegant of the team when acknowledging your condition

• If he's feeling nice when you approach him about it, he'll nod along to your small explanation and even indulge you if you choose to rant about it for a bit

• If he's not in a good mood, then just wait it out. It's not worth the wrath of an angry Frenchman for bothering him. Will become slightly less angered if you explain you were only there to share some vulnerability, however

• Tells you there's no shame in it. As an older man himself, he's no stranger to the pain that comes with this job

• Might allow you to crash in his smoking room a few times if your room is being overrun by the others. Spy knows that you won't pull any funny business on him, and god help anyone that tries to barge in in search of you (namely Scout)

• Content to sit in comfortable silence as you rest up and sleep away the pain. Spy might be a no-good lying back stabber, but at the end of the day, he's still a gentleman

[bluespace-writer]

From anon: How would Mercs make up for argument with s/o?

[I am so SORRY! i deleted the ask by complete accident, I do hope you'll enjoy reading this etherway 👍🏻]

TF2 Mercs apologising s/o after an argument- [platonic, romantic]

Mercenaries: Scout, Solider, Sniper and Heavy

Scout:

> I view Scout as type of person that would walk around angry for some time, then feel more and more horrible with each moment, soon feeling uncontrollably guilty for this fight

> He is trying to apologise normally, just walks up to you and says he is sorry. It depends on you if you accept it or not

> If you do, then you just made him feel lighter instantly. He is proposing to get a bucket of chicken for you, of course he is paying (this time)

> But if you choose to not forgive him right away, he won't leave you alone. Expect him to give you occasional gifts for absolutely no reason whatsoever

> Finnaly when you decide to forgive him, Scout is going to shrug it off, trying to stay cool "Ha! YEAH! Of course you forgive me!", later someone saw him dancing victory dance in respawn room.

> If you are his partner, expect him to be more clingy, wanting your forgiveness above everything. Like previously he is going to follow you around. If you decide to forgive him right away, kiss on lips is enough to assure him that you are not mad

> Hug. Just give him assuring big long hug and of course a kiss. All he wants to know is that you are not mad at him. He won't let you go for a long while. After long and repetitive apology all he wants is to lay down with you on a couch and cuddle. "I am sorry" he says while giving you flowers the next day

> But oh... if you feel like you can't forgive him right away, he is going to DROWN in guilt. This man is going to do anything to just hear you are not mad at him. His mind will twist, worring if you find him annoying, if you don't love him, maybe he is not enough, that it was his fault-

Solider:

> I think he wouldn't be bother by an argument for a while unless he sees you are really hurt by it. If you choose not talk to him, avoid him and even ignore him talking, eventually he will connect the dots.

> "Maggot I- .... am.....". He is not good with apology " I FULLY AGGRE THAT MY ACTIONS WERE AN ACT OF DISHONOR TO MY FELLOW AMERICAN COMERAD! (Just- let him think you are one if you are not-) AND FOR THIS I APOLOGIZE. WILL YOU ACCEPT IT?!" He saluts waiting for your answer

> Salut back saying you do, he giggle loudly before patting his hand on your back.

> If you choose not to he will just nod and walk away. Later you'll find him talking to himself while staring into a mirror, saying shameful things to himself

> Apologising to you is his first priority now. He won't give you a lot of gifts, instead he is going to complement you from time to time "Good work Maggot!", "Only you could do it!"

> His ultimate way of sayin sorry is to suggest do to something in return to help you feel better. He is a roommate with a wizard after all! When you feel like you can accept his apology he will scream loudly, happy to accomplish his task and make you feel better

> If you are his partner, be ready for non-stop sorry's, and walking two steps behind you. He is a honest man and wants nothing more than give you love you deserve. There is no way he is leaving you feeling horrible, especially if that was his fault!

> Forgive him and be swarm with love and affection. Later you'll find him covered in honey (and naked) to show you he loves you. Oh boy find him a towel!

Sniper:

> After argument he is not going to talk to you for a long while. He doesn't need conflict or disagreement. It is going to bother him that you felt sad because of him. What can he do now?

> His way of apology is to tell you he is sorry straight away, somewhere privately. He'll tell you his side of the story and listen to yours carefully.

> Forgive him, and he'll nod, tiping his hat to you. Invites you to come with him to target practice or simple beer.

> Choose not too and you won’t see him for a longnwhile. He is going to purposely ignore you. His way of thinking is that if you won't forgive him, that means you don't want to do anything with him anymore. You hate him. You wish you weren't in his presence at all. This is how he sees it at least.

> You must be the one in this situation to break the cycle and talk to him. You just made him feel more guilty when you asked, why is he ignoring you. Expect long detailed apology and maybe small gift he made himself for you.

> When you finally forgive him, you see his hanging around you more often, asking you for help with things and simply spending time with you having a lot of fun

> As his romantical partner you just made his worries jump from 80% to 300%-

> You are going to be his first real and serious relationship he probably will ever be. He isn't sure what to do for couple days. All he wants is give you worthy apology.

> He'll spend days preparing perfect gift for you maybe even getting something you wish to get for a long time but it wasn't avaliable for you before. Come on...this have to work.

> Sniper is going to invite you somewhere private, away from prying eyes. First gift, then long, full of guilt apology. He just wants to say he loves you and wants to be sure you love him too.

> Im that situation hold his hand the whole time and end conversation with ha hug, when you accept his apology. This is all what he wanted to hear. Asks if you can spend time with him alone... he just wants to hold you

Heavy:

> Goes to apologise to you not longer than hour later after an argument. He may be big and scary but he doesn't want to stay in conflict with his teammates (Maybe besides Solider-)

> He brings gift in form of food he made by himself. He will sit with you by the table and give you proper apology.

> Take a piece of what he made and smile says you forgive him. He'll smile and enjoy nice meal with you, talking, as if there was no argument in the first place

> If you decide to take your time and don't forgive him right away Heavy is going to accept it with slow, a bit sad nod. Of course he still wants you to try some of the food he made, he made it for you after all! Even if you don't fell like you can forgive him yet

> Much later Heavy's way of trying to make you forgive him is to be there for you when you need him. Need something? He'll get it. He wants ti gain your respect before asking for forgiveness once again

> When he feels you are ready to talk again, Heavy will take you on, one on one conversation, asking if you wish to forgive him. Say yes and you are going to see the biggest and brightest smile on his face you have ever seen.

> If you are his lover he is not going to rest until you forgive him. He values trust and that you can find comfort in your other half and it makes his feel guilty you can find that in him after the fight.

> This is his task now. You can see him make you breakfast everyday (your favourite ofc), if you need or look for something he will give you it without a word. He wants to be there for you, and let you know he is going to be no matter what.

> Finnaly he'll sit next to you on couch and lay his hand on yours, looking down at you in questionable look, asking if it's alright with you. If you nod he'll pick you up, put you down on his lap and give you the biggest and coziest bear hug in history. He is happy you can feel safe with him and that you forgive him. Sorry you are staying in those big arms for a while

[tf2-headcanons-anonymous]

Hello!

This is a blog for tf2 mercenary Headcanons!

About the mod:

You can just call me “mod”, I don’t need to share my name

I go by any pronouns

I’m gender-fluid… I guess that’s cool.

My favorite character is Pyro and Sniper, but I also love the rest of the boys <3

I do actually play the game, I suck at it tho. I main Pyro ig

Things you can request:

-SFW mercs x y/n

-Specific y/n (female/male/gn, shy, strong, etc)

-Angst

-Comfort

-Gore

-Specific ships

-Pretty much anything honestly

Things you cannot request:

-Anything NSFW

-Specific lore from the comics, videos, or even games. I don’t know about a lot of the deep lore and I really don’t want to deal with getting little details wrong.

This list may update later.

I have every right to not answer your request if it is against my boundaries.

Btw pls don’t request specific teams (Like RED or BLU Scout) in all honesty I don’t know the difference.

And please only request things about the mercenaries or maybe Ms. Pauling

Besides that, go ahead. Feel free to leave a request at anytime or even just ask me something.

Don’t feel bad if I don’t answer your request immediately! I usually answer them all at one time at the end of the day.

[david-tennant-addict]

can you do TF2 Heavy headcanons, like a sort of alphabet? I saw the one that you did with the Sniper, if you want you can do it in the same genre!

OMG! Yes I’ll give you a lovely heavy nsfw alphabet headcannons! I LOVE that big adorable guy!

——MINORS DNI——

Heavy NSFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He is so sweet. He will clean up and even read you on of his favorite books. Let’s just hope you know Russian

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He loves his hands because of how big they are 😏. He loves your hips because he can wrap his hands around them so easily

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He secretly love to cum in you or on your back

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He likes to use toys either you use them on him or he uses them on you

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He isn’t too experienced but he’s read a few smuts in his free time

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He likes being ridden because he can use you like a flesh light but also because he can see your face. As long as he can see your face he loves the position

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Nope unless something funny happens

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He is well groomed but sometimes he’s too busy to keep up with it so he’s hairy

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Very. He likes to moment to be loving but rough

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Not unless he SUPER pent up

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Bondage either one you or him

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

anywhere in private

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

you say or do something smart especially if you speak Russian to him he’s like puddy

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

I would say hurting you but….there’s medic so I guess killing you

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

he’s a 6/10 and he prefers to give rather than receive but he doesn’t mind to receive once in awhile

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

SUPER fast

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

3 times a month. He’s not a big fan of it but if you need it he’ll give it to you

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He’ll take risks once it awhile but not often and that’s with fucking in public

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He can go for a good 4 rounds before he’s out. He lasts for about 4 minutes

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He doesn’t own toys but he’s not opposed to using them as I stated before

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He’s fair unless if your unfair

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He grunts but he’s not too loud unless he’s overstimulated which is rare

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) he likes to speak Russian while doing it

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

he’s fucking HUGE. I mean like 12 inches at most. Manz has a fuckin foot long!

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

about a 4/10 not too high but he still yearns

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

he falls asleep in like 10 minutes after he makes sure you’re comfortable and safe

—————————————————————

I hope you liked it! I tried my best

[a-fluffer-nutter]

Spied On

A/N - Finally finished the fic for Day 14 of Tickletober lol. The prompt was "Lose," which isn't as incorporated in this fic as other prompts have for the others, but a loss does happen so...lol. So the main reason behind this fic is that my favorite fic I have ever read is from the one and only @wigglygiggler and while they aren't on Tumblr much anymore, I would still like to say that "You're a Sneaky One" is my favorite fic, so I made this, a kinda sequel to it. I've always wanted to do a TF2 fic, so why not use my inspiration from Wiggly and put my own personal spin on things. Here is a Sniper x reader fic and I hope you all enjoy!

Word Count: 3,815

            Engine rumbling, you rode your motorcycle over the dip in the driveway, slowing down to a sluggish stop once in front of the RED base. Pocketing your keys, you ripped off your helmet and placed it on the leather seat of your ride before smoothing out your messy hair.

            “Hello, darlin’,” your eyes flicked up at the sound of Engineer’s southern drawl, having heard you arriving well before you parked.

            “Evening, Dell,” you smiled, smoothing out your jacket as you approached.

            “What do we owe the pleasure?” Engineer asked expectantly. Normally, as Miss Pauling’s assistant, you arrived with a truckload of supplies, ranging from medical equipment for Medic to gun supplies and ammunition for most everyone else. Today, it was clear you had other business to attend to.

            “Heard your teleporter is acting up,” Engineer stepped in line with you as you walked back in the direction he had come from, knowing exactly where the broken machinery was. Withdrawing a small USB from your pocket, you flashed the drive as you as your expression slipped into one of neutrality. “Got your fix right here.”

            “Good, t’was buggin’ me that I couldn’t get it fixed,” he shrugged his shoulders as you smiled to yourself, always having appreciated that the man was the only merc that could recognize his own mistakes and shortcomings. If only the others were like him, your work would be so much easier.

            “Firewall glitch, it seems. At least that’s what the higher ups said,” the USB clicked into place as you finally managed to insert it, making at least four attempts of spinning the drive around and failing to get it in the hole. Growling to yourself, the screen lit up vibrantly before you stepped over to stand in front of it.

            “Figures,” Engineer mused, his voice trailing off as he walked off somewhere behind you. As you began to furiously type in your credentials, a shrill screech rattled your teeth. Turning around, Engineer was almost right on you, dragging a folding chair. “For you, dear.”

            “Heh, thanks,” appreciating the gesture, you took a seat, your back instantly thanking you. Before driving here, you had assisted Miss Pauling with burying more bodies than you could count, the damned system dedicated to despawning corpses on the fritz…again. Having had no time between that job and this one, you had swiped a few baby wipes from the van and cleaned off any traces of blood and guts that you could find coated on your figure. You knew you smelled like a bloody daycare, but working with the mercs was like own one, so it worked.

            “It’s you!” your temporary peace was sliced with a knife when Scout’s voice pierced the silence between you and Engineer. Of course, you didn’t dislike any of the mercs, the completely opposite in fact, but Scout was…loud and distracting. A delightful conversationalist when you sought one out, but when you were focused on something important, like fixing the teleporter so these mercs could stop bitching to Miss Pauling about not having access to good liquor, Scout was a bit of a nuisance. And by the sound of his voice, it seemed like he was intent on getting under your skin that evening.

            “Hey, Jeremy,” you sighed, having no plans on humoring him today. The faster you could get this done, the fast you could eat and by helping them out, you knew the mercs would invite you to join them for dinner and that meant…

            “I heard a rumor about you,” fingers stilling, you stared at your reflection on the screen, noting the clear annoyance in your eyes before continuing to type.

            “Ah?” was all you could say, beginning to exit out of the program you were in. As you started to reboot the system, Engineer leaned over to see what you were doing, knowing you had to be nearly done. He was the only person that deeply appreciated your knowledge of technology and computers, and while you were never going to be an expert in munitions and defensive traps like he was, there was still an appreciation for the skills you had.

            “You have a boyfriend,” flinch visible to both mercs, Scout began to point and laugh at you. Inhaling sharply, you wished for the reboot to go faster, your ears warming to a cool pink.

            “Bold of you to say that as you’re the reason why Miss Pauling doesn’t come by anymore,” Engineer countered, taking the words straight from your brain.

            “It’s not my fault the Administrator is a bitch that can’t appreciate a perfect love story,” you let out a huff of a laugh as the screen relit, the system live. “Though it would be a damn shame if I told her that you were smitten for a certain somebody.”

            “Fuck off, Scout,” you uttered through your teeth as you began running a system diagnostic program, making sure your work was a success. While you were on a first named basis with both Scout and Engineer, you would switch to using their titles when upset, specifically with the younger man.

            “What they said,” Engineer gestured to you with his thumb, the rest of his fingers folding into a fist. Engineer was a saint and for that you were thankful. As he desperately tried to draw away Scout’s attention from you, a green bar inched across the screen; the program nearly finished.

            “But Engie, don’t you want to know who our friend here is into?” Scout’s voice lowered into his version of a sly purr, which sounded more like a dying kitten than a suave cat, though you knew the bastard thought he was hot shit.

            “Does it really matter?” Engineer’s mouth was as straight as a heart monitor connected to a vampire, his patience wearing thin, which was hard to do, as he was certainly one of the most patient of the mercs. Glancing over at the screen as it let out the victorious noise of a scan finished with no errors found, you and Engineer let out a sigh of relief. All you had to do was get the teleporter to send you one burger, and you would be free.

            “I think a certain man from down under would like to know,” Scout leaned closer to you, his mouth nearing your ear.

            “And done,” you stood up suddenly, knocking Scout back as the teleporter flashed to life, the desired burger rotating an inch above the tray. Eyes wide, you looked straight at Engineer, trying your damnedest to avoid making eye contact with a now ornery Scout. “I’ll go get the others and tell them it’s time for dinner.”

            “Sounds good,” Engineer drawled with a smile, watching you hastily head toward the closest door, wanting to get as far away from Scout and the entire situation as fast as you could.

---

            “Here you are, mon amour,” Spy poured you another glass of wine, one out of his personal collection. The man found your taste in wine and “finer beverages” up to par with his own tastes. Thus, whenever you were able to stay for a meal or even a few minutes, Spy would emerge from his room with a bottle in hand.

            “Thank you, Spy,” you smiled politely, glad to feel a bit pampered, despite the company you were keeping. Picking up the glass, you took a sip, appreciating the sour, yet crisp notes of the crimson colored wine. Spy had said the winery that this wine had come from was his hometown, though he had said this about most wines he had given you, so you knew the man was just messing with you. You never cared, as you enjoyed the man’s company, being one of the only mercs you could have a formal conversation with. He was also the only merc that would offer you wine after consuming an ungodly amount of fried food such as tater tots and French fries.

            “Bien entendu,” Spy replied as he took your hand and planted a kiss on each of your knuckles, an innocent act that you could tell had another meaning, as you had noted a specific glint in his eyes as he placed your hand back on the table. Drawing you hand away, you gave him a short nod before standing.

            “I should be going,” your voice was calm and polite, despite the chaos starting behind you.

You stood in the foreground of the beginning of a spat between Soldier and Demoman, the drunken Scotsman taking offense to Soldier’s suggestion of ways he could do better during their next match. While Soldier did not specifically blame Demo for that day’s loss, he did have many opinions on how things could have gone better, and based on what you had heard, most of these suggestions weren’t too extravagant. Having seen the entire match from your desk, you knew that everyone had performed poorly, though you would never say those words out loud. All the mercs liked you, of course, but if some of them heard you say this, they wouldn’t hesitate to skin you like a trophy elk.

Bottles shattering against walls acted as your theme song as you walked out of the room, narrowly avoiding Pyro’s boot that was thrown dangerously close to your face. Without flinching, you were a battle hardened warrior trudging through a warzone. Nothing could faze you.

“Don’t stay too long!”

Only one thing could faze you.

Sighing, you pushed Spy’s final comment to the side. You knew that Scout hadn’t been the one to tell him, the bastard doing his best to learn every little thing about his rival had certainly overheard one of your conversations with the man outside. Spy probably lingered outside the van as you stayed the night, watching you rush away early in the morning to get back to work, not wanting to be tardy as the Administrator would definitely use her power to find out what caused your delay. Thankfully, Spy would never get you in trouble with the Administrator, liking you too much to get you terminated, in both meanings of the term. Who else would he share a drink with in the evenings?

Turning back around to take in the mischief and hedonism taking place, you let yourself smile before slipping out the door.

---

Moon waning, the lot was dark as you made your way to your intended final destination for the night. Falling asleep was never really your intention, but it was always so hard to leave him, especially now that the two of you had come to terms with your mutual infatuation.

Familiar click resonating in the vast emptiness of the night, a small smile flickered onto your face. A warm light sliced through the darkness as a door to the camper van opened. You could never get the jump on him, even if you were intentionally being as silent as possible, though after being mutilated by and mutilating enemy spies for quite some time now, the man was always hyper aware of his surroundings.

“Hello, love,” your voice was soft, not wanting your words to be picked up by the wind, though you knew it reached its target. A gentle hum was heard from just inside the camper, the ray of light now partially impaired by a thin, shadowy silhouette. The figure hopped down onto the cool asphalt, small pebbles crunching beneath his boots as he turned on his heels to lean against the fan, eyes scanning your figure. 

“How can you even see with those on,” sarcasm dripping from your words, a smile crept onto his face.

“Ya being insensitive. What if I told you they were prescription?” heart fluttering, you homed in on his words and thick accent, finally being able to hear it again after a week of busy work away from the base.

“Are they?”

“Oh, fuck no,” you let out a soft laugh as you had closed the distance. Now within arm’s reach, he drew you in with one arm around your waist. Placing a hand on his chest, you looked up at him and any chill from the night air vanished.

“Oh, uh,” cheeks growing warm, you had suddenly remembered your interactions with Scout and Spy from earlier. Nervously glancing over your shoulder, you stammered, “Ah, inside. Let’s…inside the van.”

“Right,” noticing your hesitation, Sniper scanned the lot, checking each window before ushering you around the back of the van, taking your hand to help you step up into the vehicle. “Best go in. Keep the mozzies off us.”

Shadowing you, Sniper did one last scan of the base before shutting the doors, then out of caution, locked them before turning back to you. He would never intentionally lock you in anywhere, not wanting to overstep a potential boundary, but with your sudden bout of anxious energy, he figured it was for the best.

“You alright?” you let out a long sigh before turning back around to face him. Sheepishly, you rubbed the back of your neck.

“Yeah,” you replied with less confidence than you had hoped for. “Fucking Scout, man.”

Brows arched; Sniper gestured for you to take a seat before he made his way to the fridge. Never needing to ask, Sniper withdrew two bottles of beer and placed them both next to you. Taking a seat on the other side of the bottles, Sniper leaned over to grab his kukri. Quicker than you thought was possible, the bottle caps flung across the van, rolling away for him to find another day.

“Scout knows about us,” you finally finished your thought, brain switching back on as Sniper handed you a bottle, the wisp of chilled vapor dancing in front of your face before you took the drink from his hands. “He would stop hinting at it while I was working with Dell today.”

“I’ll skin the bastard if he says anything,” Sniper tipped his bottle back, letting the chilled liquid slosh past his lips. “Kid’s got a big mouth. Maybe I’ll have a word with him before he spreads the goss around.”

“I can deal with Jeremy,” you sighed, mirroring Sniper’s actions as you took a swig. “It’s Spy I’m worried about.”

“Spook’s been watching us?” Sniper’s natural frown deepened. “Explains why you were all worked up.”

“He didn’t follow me when I left, but he certainly implied he had before,” you groaned, letting yourself relax enough to fall into Sniper, your head resting on his shoulder. “Demo was having a fit when I left. Started fighting Soldier by throwing bottles and shit. The loss today really fucked with a few of the guys.”

“You should’ve heard Soldier when we got back. Bastard wouldn’t stop following Heavy around. Something-something about wasting too many bullets or some shit,” Sniper’s head tilted down so it rested against yours. “If it wasn’t for Medic, Soldier’s arms would still be on backwards.”

Softly giggling, you slipped your hand on Sniper’s lap, finally feeling completely relaxed. The days since last spending time with him had dragged on, and you kept having to drag yourself out of your childish daydreams while on the job. You had been living for today, and now it was all paying off. His larger hand rested on yours the second you squeezed his thigh, running his calloused fingers over your knuckles with a gentleness that still shocked you, despite having grown close to him. Watching him through the monitors every day, ruthlessly killing any member of the opposing team he could spot, it was occasionally hard for you to separate the man you loved and knew and the persona he wore when working.

“No offense, but all of you looked like shit out there today,” a low chuckle resonated from deep in Sniper’s chest.

While your focus was always on the monitors that featured Sniper, you still had work to do. Analyzing each of the merc’s actions, you had a spreadsheet that detailed each major success and blunder for each person for each round. Rarely talking about your office life with the mercs, you did like to occasionally remind them of their faults when you are particularly irritated by one of them. It was always funny, until the man laughing was the one you were criticizing. Today, your notes were numerous, writing more than you had in over a month.

 “Was an off day for everyone,” Sniper shrugged, your head rising gently with the movement. “Dunno why. I was probably off since I hadn’t seen your pretty face in a while.”

“Dork,” you teased, squeezing his thigh again, but a bit closer to his knee. Leg jumping unexpectedly, you drew away to sit up. “Did I hurt you? I don’t remember you getting injured before the match ended.”

“S’fine,” Sniper grumbled, avoiding your look of concern. Put off by this action, you crawled a bit closer, leaning around to get a good look at his face, as he turned away. Lips pursed, you were about to chastise him for lying about an injury, until you saw the redness of his cheeks.

“Oh,” your voice dropped, then your lips contorted into a sly smile. Hand back on his lap, you squeezed the same spot, “You’re ticklish here too? For one of the most ruthless mercenaries in the world, you’re pretty damn ticklish, now aren’t you?”

“Fuck off,” he grumbled, much to your amusement. Mischief beginning to overcome you, you reached out and traced a finger down his exposed neck. Choking back a laugh, Sniper instantly whipped around and grabbed your wrist, holding it away. “What’s gotten into you?”

“Since when was it illegal to make my boyfriend laugh?” you teased, reaching your other hand out to tweak his hip.

“Is that what I am?” grin slipping onto his face, your words played in his brain like a broken record player. Grabbing your other wrist with ease, Sniper pulled you across his lap, twisting you enough that you landed on your chest. Before you could push yourself up, Sniper began to knead his fingers along your ribcage. “Hm, I like the way that sounds. If I’m your boyfriend, then I guess it’s not illegal for me to do this, then.”

“Sh-hihi!” squirming beneath his touch, you were completely trapped between his hands and his torso. You may be strong, thanks to the number of bodies you have to drag around to dispose of, but Sniper had the advantage of being a ruthless killer with few morals, so pinning you was easy.

“Somethin’ the matter, darlin’?” Sniper asked with faux curiosity, fingers crawling up your torso to worm beneath your arms. Your laughter amplified as you frantically tried to smack away his hands, with little success.

“It tickles,” you yelped through your laughter, desperately wiggling around in attempts to roll over. This action would give him more access to your sensitive spots, but at least you would be able to see his actions and use your arms more effectively. “Sn-sn-sniper!”

“That’s kinda the point, doll,” his words increased the ticklish sensations, intensifying your desperation. Allowing you to follow through with your plans, Sniper relaxed his grip and slowed his attack down enough for you to finally flip over. Not only did he not want to overwhelm you, but not being able to see your smile was growing old.

“You evil man,” sweetly giggling, you swatted at the man’s hands that skittered gracefully over your belly. Sniper was smiling slyly down at you, clearly enjoying the playful torture he was putting you through.

“Am I now?”

“Yes,” you peeped out before lunging up, wrapping him in a tight hug. Before he could react, you began to scribble your fingers over his ribs, nails tracing each bone, noting how pronounced they felt beneath your touch. “Sometimes I forget how thin you are.”

“Am not,” his voice was quiet, his words short. Body twitching beneath your touch, Sniper’s breathing became harsher, uneven, untrained.

“Are too,” you let out a chuckle, your chin resting on his shoulder. Fingers trailing down his torso, you grasped a bit of his shirt and tugged, untucking it so you could creep your hands beneath the fabric.

“You sneaky bugger,” unable to hold it back any longer, and wanting you to have a bit of fun, not that he would admit to that, Sniper began to laugh. Wheezy and raspy, as if his voice box was full of cobwebs, his laugh was melodious to you. Sniper would compare it to a koala in heat, but you adored the sound of his laughter. It was unrestrained, free, and very him.

“You’re acting like you hate this,” you teased into his ear, feeling him shiver away from the lips brushing up against the lobe. Blunt nails drawing chaotic designs into his belly and sides, you let out a small laugh as he refused to reply, just uttering a small groan of annoyance between peals of laughter.

Ever since finding out his little secret, you took it upon yourself to make him smile whenever the timing felt right. Normally, these little playful scuffles happened after a bad loss, like today’s, though sometimes one of you just needed a pick me up after a hard day on the job. Normally, the two of you were very serious individuals, especially when working. Both amazing at what you did, it was easy for either of you to get caught up in whatever nonsense the job brought you. Thankfully, after falling for one another, being able to pull off the masks of stoicism and relax when the two of you were alone became commonplace. While neither of you specifically liked to be tickled, the fact it was an easy way to draw laughter from your significant other made you forget about your general dislike of the action.

“I think that’s enough for now,” purring into his ear, you pulled your hands away from beneath his shirt and hugged him again, resting your forehead against his. “Feeling better?”

“Never said I was feeling bad, ya cheeky bastard,” he replied with no malice, smile still plastered to his face. As he ran his hands over your hair, you let out a soft, peaceful sigh. “But, now I’m completely knackered.”

“Mind if I join you, tonight?” you asked while yawning, your words sounding a bit distorted.

“Why wouldn’t I?” in one quick motion, he lifted you to your feet, sweeping you off him by hooking under your arms and stood. Letting out a small squeal in delight, you wrapped your legs around him, holding him like a koala as he walked you over to the mattress he called a bed, laughing the entire time.

Falling asleep with him was never your initial intention when spending time with him, but you were never going to say no to your love. This was just a perk of your job, so why not savor the moment.