#TF2 x reader

[chumpsalmon]

Early morning with sniper teehee this is so cringe I’m sorry.

[i-willstealyourtoes]

hcs for spy, scout, n demo with a gn!reader who seems really harmless, silly, just a goober until blurting out something super unhinged/violent but then just like, keeps insistently acting friendly again (intentionally covering up capacity for actual competence by being cute??)

other details can be whatever you want, went with the mercs i thought would be more interesting with this prompt, hope things are fun for u!!!

Ooo yeah this does seem rlly fun!! I hope I did this one justice :) I decided to make it so Reader is some sort of co-worker (but not a merc), and the violent ideas aren't just for jokes >:)

Spy, Scout + Demo with Cute!Violent!Reader

Spy

At first, he didn't really like you that much when he saw how 'silly' you were

Why would he need any more idiots in his life?

But after a little while, he got used to your light-hearted fun, not necessarily hating you, but not really interacting with you either...

That was, until you started saying things.

Like casual promises of intense violence, followed with something of your usual gleeful attitude

Genuinely concerned for you. Are you??? Okay???

He's not sure if you're trying to prank him, if this is some sort of thing Scout set you up to do or you're just insane. He doesn't like any of those options.

But when he notices that the things you say aren't just weird jokes, he actually becomes a bit interested

Is this how you really are? Some kind of blood-thirsty person that hides behind a mask of smiles?

He starts to wonder if you actually act on these gruesome thoughts

So he decides to subtly test things out, intentionally ruining your day from the sidelines, to see if you'll snap

And eventually, you do, throwing a knife at Scout as he shrieks and runs away after having making fun of you one too many times

After that, he actually kind of likes you, especially since you are more capable of things than he initially thought

He might not be your friend, but he doesn't mind talking to you now, and he finds it amusing when people get shocked/scared when you say something bloody

Scout

Scout initially just thinks you're some cute co-worker he can flirt with

But when you start spouting a violent and unhinged suggestion of getting info out of a man, he freezes in partial amounts of disgust and horror (you know that one face he makes when he sees Zhanna and Soldier naked? Yeah.)

For at least a couple days, he's pretty spooked.

Are you always like this? Did you say it to prank him? Was this just a one time thing?

He might not talk to you for a little bit. He won't ignore you, but you can tell he's a little awkward around you from then on

There's a few ways to get him to be normal again.

Either he watches someone else get spooked and finds it funny, or you help him out with something because of your violent nature

Regardless of which one, he quickly realises that your bloodthirsty attitude is just as you as your cute one

It might still throw him off though, but he won't say much other than a "Dayum, chill (Y/n)!"

Other than that, he actually kind of finds it funny watching other strangers get scared if you say something/threaten them

It's free entertainment !!

He is just a little scared of you though... He definitely would not want to get on your bad side.

Demo

Takes a liking to your silly personality, and the two of you quickly become good friends !!

As for your sudden, random violent sayings?

It depends, really.

Either one: he does a double take and stares at you with furrowed brows and widened eyes

Or two: he doesn't react at all and just accepts it immediately

Even if it's the former, at most you get a simple ".....what?" before he eventually recovers and lets the situation go

Regardless, he actually really appreciates your capacity for violence, it means he doesn't feel pressure to steer from gruesome discussion

Originally, he wouldn't have talked to you about how he blew up a guy to pieces, but now he's happy to share all the disgusting details

Especially since you either find it amusing or have some story yourself

In fact, he might even take you to see his work, if you're down for it :)

Imagine: the two of you sitting on some seats watching as some poor unsuspecting opposite team member walks on a sticky and... you know the rest.

You two become a really good pair, not despite the occasional violent behaviors you possess, but because of them !!

The others might think you're a bit creepy, or even be a little scared of how you can switch between the two personalities, but Demo doesn't mind at all !

[wisteriaiswriting]

S/O Who Can Sing

Words: 133

Request: Could you do a TF2 Engineer hcs with an s/o who can sing if you haven't done so already (if you have, feel free to ignore)

God, how he loves hearing your voice in general, somehow even more after finding out you can sing.

During those quiet moments in the day or night he’ll bring out his guitar, sit with you and plays while you sing. He’ll never forget the nights spent alone, just you two underneath the stars.

Sometimes he won’t pull out the guitar, instead finding anything to keep his hands busy while sitting close by just listening to you.

This influences him, whenever you aren’t around and no other music is heard he’ll start humming. Mainly any song he’s heard you sing before.

Turns out he is a pretty good singer, just doesn’t sing much. So it’s a shock to the others, but a nice one, they don’t mind hearing you both duet during the night.

[hypernova-writes]

PLEADR HEAR ME OUT MY TF2 MAJESTY:

The mercs giving or receiving hickeys.

s..specifically medic and sniper 😍 and and also scout… MEOWWWW

thank u sm for feeding me with such amazing content

You're Welcome!! I'm currently cooking up my next long fic right now (more yandere unhinged Medic coming btw-) I also want to apologize for the lack of writing recently! Stuffs been pretty crazy in my life right now but i'm back! still sick but im back! (Or atleast trying to be—)

Merc's receiving and giving Hickeys: [Medic, Scout, Sniper]

Medic

Receiving: Medic LOVES when you give him hickeys. This man will wear them with PRIDE. Give them on his neck, his chest, his arms, hell he even ended up with one on his cheek once.

He bruises pretty easily, so whenever you end up making out and you start trailing down his chin to his neck...Oh he's a mess! He loves teasing you for this though-

"My little liebling...jou just love marking me up~ Don't worry, no one is going to take me from you."

He's LOUD so you better hope that no one is around that day.

Now when it comes to him leaving them on you?

His favorite spots are your thighs and your breasts. He loves how squishy they are and how easy it is to get you all marked up.

It riles him up so much when you two are about to be intimate and he sees the previous marks that he left on you starting to fade.

"Mhm..looks like I need to leave more, Liebling~. Zhey're fading.."

Scout

ANOTHER ONE WHOS LOUD.

He's also very sensitive, like, he starts whimpering type of sensitive, I headcanon the RED Scout to be a bit tanner than the BLU one, so when you mark him up he'll get all flustered because the others can see it.

"Jeez babe, what are ya a vampire or somethin'?.." He loves it don't stop. Will question you if you suddenly stop.

When the shoe is on the other foot?

He's such a fucking teasing prick.

Leaves them in obvious spots, has left one on your cheek before.

He likes to leave them in clusters, so you'll have several aligning one area of your neck. He likes to nuzzle into your skin afterwards to feel the heat of your skin.

"Tch. Why hide em? Everyone in the damn base knows ya my girl anyway."

Sniper

Will become flustered, turn so red that this man could put the damn shirt he wears to shame.

You leave them alot on his chest around his scars, the area is sensitive to him but he loves to look down and see your little love bites.

Doesn't want you to leave them too high up, not that he's not proud to show em off, he just doesn't wanna deal with the teasing he'll get from the other mercs.

"..try to keep em low love, please?..dont wanna hear those blokes mouths.."

Now when it's time to put them on you?

FERAL. FERAL. FERALLLLL

He bites, and he bites hard, you aren't leaving with a hicky you're leaving with a damn bite mark.

Mostly on your inner thighs and your hips. He loves the plush, bonus if you have a belly? Oh yea he's biting there too.

He likes to bite, then suck and lick on the area to make sure his mark stays, if it doesn't, prepare for him to do it again.

He has drawn blood one before, and you thought it was the hottest thing ever, you told him this and all dominance went out the window as he got a little embarrassed.

"..sorry sheila..got a lil carried away..here..let me kiss it better

Writing Snipers had be clawing at the walls of my enclosure— I'm so down bad for this man.

[the-teufort-nine]

may i rq a scenario with any of the mercs where they find reader injured when respawn's down. maybe bc of an accident or an ambush. i like angst as long as its ok in the end

HOLY SAXTON HALE ANON THIS ONE GOT AWAY FROM ME!

This isn't explicitly romantic, but you could definitely interpret it as being romantic if you want! You're def the team's fave <3

Anyways, enjoy about 8400 words of hurt/comfort goodness and the Blu team being pathetic lil meow meow when they think you're dead dead.

Mercs x GN!Reader | Respawn Malfunction

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ Hurt/Comfort | SFW | Cw: starvation, temp character death, excess drinking, animal death ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ

Featuring:

Everyone! Even Miss Pauling is here!

Scenario: During the last few moments of a match, Blu team's Respawn Machine suddenly malfunctions, with you inside! Left reeling by the loss of their Chemist, the team attempts to cope. A week later, Miss Pauling receives a most unexpected phone call...

There had been no warning.

If there had been, then the sharp eyes of RED and BLU’s Engineers would have certainly caught it. Unfortunately, the Respawn Machine had been just as reliable as ever for the entire match, bringing the mercenaries back from the great beyond time and time again, just as it had been designed to do.

Scout and Soldier had just been revived when it happened; the two men taking a moment to shake off the inevitable rush of nausea that came from going through the unholy machine. An Ubercharged Heavy had taken both them and their teammate, Y/N, known officially as the Chemist, out as the hulking giant made a final push to capture one of their points, and both BLU men knew it was only a matter of time before they heard the biting voice of the Administrator informing them of their failure.

Scout scuffed his sneaker against the concrete floor of the Respawn Room as Soldier launched into a furious rant, leaning against the wall as he waited for Y/N to come through, knowing that they'd been killed only a moment after him. He sighed when felt the gentle pulse of the machine as it vibrated like a speaker, getting ready to return his friend to the world of the living.

SKREEEEEECHHHH- BOOM!

A blast of hot air sent the two men crashing into the wall, stunning them momentarily. It was Soldier who regained his wits first, the BLU quickly pushing up his helmet and looking back at the source of the damage in shock and mounting horror. 

“Aeughhhh… what da hell just happened?” Scout moaned, one of his hands rubbing against his throbbing forehead. He blinked, his blurred vision slowly clearing, and as he regained his sight, his eyes began to widen.

Respawn was on fire.

Flames licked hungrily at the walls as they spread out further from the Respawn Machine, with the contraption itself bathed in white and blue hues, the intense heat making quick work of what hadn't been destroyed in the explosion. Shards of complex metals and pools of gleaming Australium were littered all over the room, reflecting the light of the fire.

“HOLY CRAP!” Scout yelped, adrenaline coursing through his body as he attempted to scramble up off the floor.

His voice jolted Soldier out of his shocked state, and he shot a hand out to grab the back of Scout's shirt and yank him along as he made for the door. 

“Emergency! Cease fighting immediately!” The Administrator's voice boomed out over the battlefield, the old woman's voice sounding more shocked than stern for once. 

Scout finally found his footing as he pulled out of Soldier's grip, spinning around to stare at the encroaching flames. Fear roiled in his gut like an angry serpent as his disoriented mind finally allowed the reality of their situation to sink in. Respawn was gone. 

Death was permanent once again.

“Private, this is no time to be standing around! We need to go!”

They could die. For real.

“Scout!”

If they'd come through only a moment earlier, they wouldn't have come back at all. 

Wait…

“Solly, where's Chem?”

Soldier paused in his attempt to drag Scout down the hall, his gaze snapping back towards Respawn. He hadn't seen them when he'd grabbed Scout, too focused on getting away from the rapidly approaching fire, but he'd assumed that they were right behind him.

“They probably snuck past us! They're sneaky like that.” he replied. That had to be it! Otherwise that would mean they…

Scout looked down the hall, searching for any sign of the Chemist, before looking back towards Respawn, his face paling. He jerked forward, sprinting towards the blaze. 

“Chem! Chem, hang on!” Scout yelled, reaching the doorway in only a few seconds, his eyes desperately searching for where his friend could possibly be. 

The room was as empty as it had seemed before. There was no trace of the Chemist, alive or dead, to be found in the room. 

They hadn't made it through.

“What in the Sam Hill is goin’ on here?!”

Scout wrenched himself away from the door as he heard his teammates gasp behind him. Engineer was up by his side in an instant, his mechanical hand gripping the doorframe so hard it cracked the material. He pushed his goggles up, and Scout could see real fear in the other's eyes.

“Vhat zhe hell happened? Zhe Respavn Machine vas fine only moments ago vhen I came through!” Medic said, pausing as he looked at Scout, who was trembling. Gently, the doctor led the young man away from the fire, “Scout? Are you alright? Vere you injured?”

“Chem’s gone.” was Scout's quiet reply.

“Vhat?”

“They was suppose’ta come through after me ‘n Solly, but Respawn went up in flames before they could come through.” the runner's voice was shaky and hollow, and he leaned more of his weight against Medic as his legs started to feel less dependable than usual, “They're gone. Like, gone gone.”

The gathered mercenaries went quiet, the only sounds being that of the crackling flames and Scout and Soldier's laboured breathing.

“DAMN IT!” Engineer bellowed, throwing his hard hat onto the ground, “GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!”

Medic closed his eyes, bringing a gloved hand up to his face as a wave of grief crashed down on him. He'd been rather fond of their newest teammate, glad to have someone around who was as interested in risky experiments as he was. The Chemist had often taken up many of the smaller, more neglected duties around the base, such as cooking proper meals and making sure that Medic's less used medical supplies stayed topped up, in case of emergencies. They'd also been of great help in wrangling some of his more… problematic patients, using their charms (or stealth) to herd them into the Medbay for check ups or shots.

He watched them die every day, but this was different. This was permanent. The machine he and Engineer had worked so hard to build, the one that had allowed them to cheat death time and time again, had finally taken its pound of flesh. Y/N had been taken from them, from him, before he'd been ready to let them go.

Now, this usually wouldn't have been a problem; committing sins against both God and nature was something he did quite often and with great delight, and he was sure he could wrest Y/N back from the afterlife, provided that he had access to their body.

And therein lay the problem. There was no body. Respawn hadn't even spat them out half formed or thrown them into the flames, it had simply not reconstructed them. Whatever remained of the Chemist was likely nothing more than a partially formed mist of human remains that had burned up almost instantaneously.

The tenth class was no more, and there was nothing Medic could do.

“Aw, hell,” Engineer gritted out finally, looking back at his teammates with a tired, beatdown expression, “Christ, someone go ‘n track down a fire extinguisher. If we don't get this under control soon, we'll all end up dead.”

Seeing an opportunity to both flee the horrific scene and be useful, Scout ran off like a bat out of Hell, skidding around a corner and disappearing from sight. Soldier, who was being uncharacteristically quiet and still, made to follow him, but Engineer stopped him before he could take more than a few steps.

“Hold on, pardner. I need you to round everyone up and let ‘em know what- what happened.” the southerner swallowed hard, trying his best to push down his emotions for the time being, “The last thing we need right now is to lose someone else because someone did somthin’ stupid and got themselves killed.”

Soldier thought of how often Demo tested his equipment after their daily battles, especially after a loss, and stopped only long enough to give Engineer a salute before rushing off, determined not to lose any more teammates.

“Gott, vhat a mess.” Medic whispered hoarsely, mentally preparing himself for the utter shit show that was inevitably coming their way. The Chemist had been a friend to all of them, even to Spy, who pretended that he didn't care, and losing them was going to be hard on everyone.

Personal loss wasn't something the mercenaries were used to, lulled into a sense of security, of immortality, by the Respawn Machine. After all, why be afraid of death when you knew that you would be back in what felt like only an instant? None of them ever considered that Respawn might fail one day.

“C’mon, Doc. We can't stay here.” Engineer said, leading his co-worker-turned-friend away from the fire.

“Ack!” 

You yelped as you tumbled face first out of Respawn, hitting the floor hard and fast. You hissed in pain, pushing yourself up and rubbing a hand over your aching face. Instinctively, you check over the various vials of chemicals you have strapped to your person, praying that your odd tumble hasn't resulted in anything breaking.

A sigh of relief passes your lips as you determine nothing to be out of place or wrecked. You pulled yourself to your feet, stretching and cracking your knuckles. Christ, the RED Heavy must have gotten you good that time, because you felt just awful. Exhaustion made you slouch slightly, and your stomach ached something fierce.

After bracing yourself for the inevitable screech of the Administrator's voice telling you that you had failed, you allowed your eyes to fall open, expecting to see Scout and Soldier's sour faces.

An unfamiliar room greeted you, wooden planks replacing the expected concrete. Dust lingered around the space, and your only company was a chittering raccoon, which startled and ran off upon seeing you.

What the fuck was going on?

“Hell-o?” you called, confusing coloring your tone, “Scout? Soldier? Anyone?”

Silence greeted you. Not even the sound of gunfire and shouting could be heard, only the sound of a fierce wind blowing outside.

Thoroughly confused and more than a little creeped out, you stepped out of Respawn, head constantly swiveling about as you called for your teammates. However, no matter how much you yelled, no one ever responded. No matter how much you searched, you couldn't find anyone. No matter how much you listened, not a soul could be heard.

“What the fuck. What the fuck.” you chanted, rubbing your arms. It was so cold here, and your outfit was designed for the New Mexico heat. 

Your breaths came in steamy puffs, and you could feel goosebumps prickling along your arms as you made your way towards what you hoped was the Intel Room. Whatever it was that was going on, you were too tired and too sore to try and puzzle it out. If this was some kind of elaborate prank, you were going to kill whoever was responsible, because the last thing you wanted to deal with after such a rough day was this creepy bullshit.

Finally, after a solid hour of getting lost within this bizarre, wintery base, you managed to find the Intel Room. A phone, blue in colour, sat mounted on the wall only a few feet away. Wasting no time, you dialed the number Miss Pauling had given you to use if there was ever an emergency, or if Engineer and Medic started spending too much time together again. (The last time they'd gone unchecked for too long, the base had become overrun by something they called Spycrabs. It took weeks for you and your team to get rid of them, though you were fairly certain both Spy and Pyro had managed to hide one to keep as a pet.)

“Aperture Bakery, where the cake definitely isn't a lie! This is Tammy speaking, how can I help you?” an obviously fake cheery voice greeted you after only two rings, and you smiled slightly.

“Jesus, Pauling, I think that's your worst ‘wrong number’ persona yet.” you groused, no real venom in your voice.

“...Y/N?” Miss Pauling’s voice suddenly became very soft and disbelieving, something you'd never heard it do.

You frowned, your brow furrowing. “Yeah, that's me, last I checked. I thought you were supposed to call me Chemist, though?”

“Holy shit, you're alive?!” she shouted, the volume causing you to pull back slightly, “How are you alive?!” 

“Uhhhhh,” you stammered, completely at a loss as to how you were supposed to respond, “I… I breathe? And eat? And sleep? Jeez, Pauling, I don't know what you want from me here.”

There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line, one that lasted so long, you began to worry Miss Pauling had hung up on you.

“Hello?” you tried.

“Oh! Shoot, sorry, I'm still here! I just-” there was a sound like papers being moved, “Chemist, what is the last thing you remember?”

“Losing the point and getting shot to pieces, why?” Was this a test? Had you already failed somehow?

“Right, yeah, okay that makes sense.” Miss Pauling took a deep breath, and you shifted uncomfortably, sensing that something was wrong.

“Chemist, Y/N, you've been declared dead for just over a week now.” 

The phone slipped from your grasp, and it was only years worth of training and quick reflexes that kept it from smashing into the wall. You gripped the phone right, pressing it tightly into your ear as you spoke. “I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you right, Miss Pauling. Would you mind repeating that?”

“You were dead, Chemist. Something happened to BLU’s Respawn Machine, and it was completely destroyed before you could come back. I- I don't know how or why it took so long for you to come back this time, but I'm so glad you did.”

You all but collapsed onto the wall, your free hand tangling itself in your hair. You'd died? Like, died for real? The thought made your stomach turn, and you had to suppress the urge to vomit.

“Pauling, Christ, I-” you swallowed, breathing in through your nose, “Is everyone else okay? Oh God, please tell me no one else… died.”

“No, no, no! Everyone's- well they're not fine, but they're all alive. The Administrator called for an emergency ceasefire the minute she saw what happened, and both teams got the message pretty quickly that something was wrong. The ceasefire is still in effect, since everyone needs to be relocated to one of the other base locations.” Miss Pauling replied.

You audibly sighed in relief, tension leaving your body as you uttered a soft ‘Oh, thank God.’ “I think that's where I ended up. One of the other bases, I mean. It's fucking freezing here, Pauly.”

“Shit, you're that far out?” Miss Pauling sucked in a breath through her teeth, “Okay, just- just stay put, alright? There's not going to be any supplies there, so just fine somewhere warm and try not to move too much. I'm going to come get you, okay?”

“Okay.” you replied, smiling slightly as you heard her immediately begin to gather various items on her desk, “Thank you, Miss Pauling. I know you're busy.”

“I'm never too busy for my mercenaries, especially when they manage to defy all logic and cheat death more than they usually do.” a warm, fuzzy feeling settled in your chest at her words, and it remained even after you hung up. There was something so viscerally pleasing about being wanted, about having someone care for you.

Worn out from your return to the living world, you peeled yourself away from the wall and wandered around the base a bit, before locating what had to be the common room. A couch and a few chairs were tucked in around an unlit fireplace. There wasn't anything around to burn, and you didn't feel up to going out to find something suitable, so you chose instead to simply curl up on the couch. Once you laid down, it was as if all of your strength left your body. The aches and pains that plagued you became more apparent, and your stomach growled and gurgled loudly. You were starving, but as Miss Pauling had said, there was no food at the base, and you certainly weren't going to be able to hunt any animals that might be scuttling around.

Resigning yourself to a fitful sleep and an empty stomach, you closed your eyes and pressed yourself in closer to the back of the couch, slowly drifting off into a light slumber.

The BLU base had never been so quiet. It was not a calm quiet, like one might find if they walked into a library, or in a room full of people simply enjoying each other's company while they entertained themselves, but rather a tense, unnatural quiet. A mercenary base with nine men living in it should have been full of noise and movement, but each member of the BLU team seemed more than happy to break away from the norm today.

Engineer was holed up in his workshop, pouring over blueprints, both new and old, determined to find some flaw, some imperfection, some failure, that could give him an answer as to why the Respawn Machine had gone up in flames. He needed to find the problem so that he could fix it. He couldn't leave things as they were; everyone, even the RED team, once they'd found out what had happened, felt unsafe going through any of the Respawn Machines, since no one knew what exactly had gone wrong.

Medic was working himself to exhaustion right alongside him, while also fretting over packing up his birds and equipment on such short notice. They weren't due to rotate out to another base for another month, but the accident had pushed the timeline up to a few days. What's more is that he needed to review the applications for a new Chemist, though he'd been putting that particular task off for as long as possible. He'd never once needed to replace a teammate, nor had he ever expected to. The process of both finding someone who was Respawn compatible and willing to fight and die everyday was an arduous one indeed, and Medic could feel a stress induced migraine begin to come on whenever he even glanced at the paperwork.

Heavy had been trying his best to help Medic prepare for the move, but he, like everyone else, was feeling the effects of their friend's sudden death. He kept expecting to hear their voice coming from the kitchen, or to see them waltz through a door with some manner of bubbling condition held in their arms. Often, he caught himself setting out the supplies for two sandviches, only realizing his mistake when he had plated the food. 

Pyro had firmly planted themselves in the Chemist's room, taking special, delicate care to pack up their things into neat little boxes. When Medic had gently floated the idea of reusing their supplies for the next Chemist, Pyro had chased the doctor around the base with their fire axe. There were drawings of the two of them taped carefully to the wall, gifted to the Chemist by the resident firebug, and Pyro left them for last, wanting to keep pretending that they were simply packing up to move like the rest of them. When they'd nearly finished, Pyro noticed that the Chemist's uniforms, which had been folded up on their friend's bed, had mysteriously disappeared. They'd panicked for a moment, before the faint smell of cigarette smoke filtered through their mask.

Sure enough, the clothes were returned the following morning, freshly washed, dried, and without any wrinkles. Any and all holes or rips had been carefully hand stitched with expert precision. There was also a single rose lovingly tucked into one of the pockets on the outfit the Chemist wore most frequently.

Demo could often be found in the company of Soldier, sitting out on some roof or bridge, nursing his tenth or so bottle. Soldier didn't drink nearly as much, but when he inevitably did get drunk, only he and Demo knew about the few tears that would slip down his cheek. Neither acknowledged it, nor the sinking fear of having to inevitably go through Respawn again that sat like lead bullets in their guts.

Scout ran to ignore that same sense of fear and loss, to push it down into the deepest parts of himself. He ran from sunrise to sunset, pausing only when he absolutely needed to. Sometimes, when he would stop, panting and sweating and one small breeze away from toppling over, if he was in just the right spot at just the right time, he'd catch a glimpse of Sniper, tucked away on some far off cliffside or peering down from a tall, rickety building. The marksman hadn't been seen in the base proper since the accident, but he was always around somewhere, watching day and night to ensure nothing happened to his remaining teammates during the ceasefire.

So it was no wonder that it was him who first spotted a frantic looking Miss Pauling as she parked her scooter and dashed off towards one of the base entrances.

Curious, Sniper pushed himself up out of his hiding place, ignored the burning sensation that rippled through his taunt, stiff muscles, and started to make his way down to the base. He didn't make any attempt to soften his footsteps, but he also didn't call any attention to himself. The dark haired woman had been heading for Engineer's workshop, so that's where Sniper went.

Just before he could reach the door that led to the workshop, he collided with someone coming down the hall. He let out a quiet ‘oof’ and stumbled back, baring his teeth instinctively when he saw an expensive suit and steely blue eyes. He calmed, however, when he saw that this Spy was dressed in his team's colours 

“Bushman.” came Spy's snide greeting. The Frenchman eyed Sniper up and down, “You look like shit.”

“I could say the same for you, mate.” Sniper sneered back, and he really could have.

There were heavy bags around Spy's eyes, and he smelled as though he'd been absolutely chewing through his expensive, imported cigarettes. Clearly, the man had been coping just as well as Sniper had.

“I'm shocked to see zhat you are no longer wallowing in your mobile hovel, or rolling around in zhe dirt, or whatever it is that you've been doing zhese days.” Spy raised a brow, “What has brought you back to zhis cheap imitation of civilization?”

Now, normally, this would be the point in their conversation where Sniper would tell Spy to not-so-kindly fuck off, but the Australian was running on coffee and will, and Spy was good at getting information. If Miss Pauling’s sudden appearance was supposed to be a secret, then Spy would be Sniper’s first choice for a partner in crime.

“Miss Pauling just showed up lookin’ real frazzled, and I want to know why. I didn't get any alerts or messages, did you?” Sniper asked.

Spy pursed his lips. “Non, I did not.”

Both men's gazes flicked towards the workshop door, and before either could contemplate if this was a good idea or not, Spy had cloaked and Sniper was pushing the door open slowly. A conversation came into earshot as the door opened silently.

“Engie! Thank God you're here!”

“Miss Pauling? What are you doin’ here?”

“There's no time, I need to borrow your truck!”

“Whu- mah truck? What for?”

“Listen, I need to get up North. Fast. And my scooter isn't going to cut it for this trip. Also, I think I might need that emergency dispenser you guys built a while back.”

Sniper's eyebrows shot up towards his hairline. Miss Pauling did many things to people, but healing them wasn't something he'd ever heard of her doing.

“Well, now, see that there dispenser is still a prototype. It ain't ready for fieldwork yet- HEY!”

“Sorry Engie! Look, I promise I will bring the truck and the dispenser back, but I really need to get going! If this works, I'll bring back something that will make up for all of this.”

“And just what the hell would that be?!”

“Your Chemist!”

Sniper jolted, his body moving faster than his mind, which was still struggling to understand what he'd just heard. He gripped the guardrails that overlooked the lower floor, arriving just in time to see Miss Pauling putting the pedal to the metal and hauling ass out of the workshop in Engineer's truck. Engineer himself was standing stock still on the workshop floor, hand still raised mid gesture.

A set of hands suddenly grabbed Sniper by the shoulders and spun him around. Spy was staring at him, eyes alight in a way Sniper hadn't seen in a long time.

“Bushman, you can fit at least four people in your disgusting van, yes?” the man asked, squeezing harder when Sniper's mouth failed to make words come out, “Well?!”

“Eh- ur- yeah mate, that's right.” Sniper nodded finally, still reeling from the idea that Chemist might still be alive, “What's it to ya, Spook?”

“Gather up Soldier, Heavy, and Demo. I will take Medic, Scout, Pyro and Engineer in my car. We need to get going immediately if we want any chance of catching up to Miss Pauling!” he exclaimed.

Sniper's eyes widened as he understood what Spy was saying. The Frenchman wanted to follow Miss Pauling, to see their supposedly not dead teammate for himself, and he knew the rest of them well enough to know that if they didn't take them along, then the others would find their own way to them. That, or they'd simply destroy the base if left alone for too long, and Sniper was willing to bet that Spy didn't want to risk Pyro or Soldier destroying his precious suit collection.

‘Still,’ Sniper mused, ‘It’s nice to see that Spook cares about our feelings, even if it is mostly for ‘is benefit.’

“Right, I'll go round up the boys. You focus on snapp’n Engie outta his stupor, yeah?” Sniper agreed.

Spy nodded, and the two separated, with Sniper wasting no time in flying back down the hall. Obsessively stalking- er, observing everyone over the course of the week had granted him a decent understanding of where they chose to spend their time while in mourning.

Heavy and Medic were up first, and Sniper knew exactly where they'd be. With a swift kick, he burst into the Medbay, startling both the pair and all of the birds.

“Augh! Herr Sniper, vhat do you think you're doing, barging in here like-” Medic started, but Sniper cut him off.

“Can it, Doc! Pauling was just ‘ere, and she says Y/N is alive!” Sniper exclaimed. The other two men's eyes widened, and Medic almost dropped the glass beaker he was holding. “She sped off a moment ago, and we're gonna follow ‘er. Spy's taking you, Scooter, Engie and Py in ‘is car, while I'm takin’ the rest.”

The dynamic duo shook off their shock and nodded.

“Heavy will grab Soldier and Demolitions. Leetle Sniper will find Pyro in their room.” Heavy paused, then fixed Sniper with a stern look. “Be very careful how you tell news. Fire starter has… not been taking loss well. May attack, if they think you are playing joke.”

Sniper gulped quietly. “Think we should hold off on tellin’ them why we're really leaving?”

Medic shook his head quickly. “Nien. Zhough it is not alvays apparent, Pyro is quite intelligent. Lying to zhem about zhis will not end well for any of us.”

The marksman winced, remembering the feeling of fire blasting across his skin. “Too right. Okay, I'll handle Pyro, and Heavy’s gettin’ the drunk bastards. Hopefully they can sober up a bit, because I do not want those two sicking up in my van.”

Suddenly, a thought came to him.

“Oh, and bring yer Medigun. Miss Pauling mentioned something about need’n the emergency dispenser, but Engie didn't seem too confident that it would work.”

Medic's face crumpled up in distress. “And he shouldn't be! Zhat machine is just as likely to kill both zhe Chemist and Frauline Pauling as it is to heal zhem.”

“Shit.” Sniper swore, “We better be quick, then.”

The three men scattered, each one going in a different direction. Sniper hauled ass towards the barracks, eyes flicking to the different class symbols that marked each of the doors. He had only ever been here once, but picking out the little blue and yellow picture of a bubbling vial was easy enough.

He skidded to a stop before the door, taking a second to rap his knuckles against the wood before pushing the door open. 

Pyro was where Heavy had said they would be, sitting on their friend's neatly made bed, their stuffed Balloonicorn clasped tightly in their grip as they rocked slightly. Pyro tilted their head at Sniper, communicating their confusion at the man's sudden appearance.

“C’mon, matchstick. We gotta get going right quick now.” Sniper panted, motioning for Pyro to follow, “Miss Pauling was just here, and she seems pretty damn convinced that our Chemist isn't as dead as we all thought.”

Pyro stilled on the bed, their masked face staring right into Sniper's soul. The Australian licked his chapped lips, feeling a sense of unease creep across the nape of his neck. After a moment of relative silence, Pyro seemed to find no deception in his words, and quickly leapt up, pausing only to grab their axe and holster it on their back.

“Huddah huddah huddah!” They yelled, voice muffled by the mask. A thick rubber glove suddenly gripped Sniper's vest, and the marksman found himself getting dragged along towards an exit.

Barely able to keep up with Pyro’s quick stride, Sniper stumbled a bit, all but crashing into the firebug when the large door before them slid open. 

“Let's go, let's go, let's go!” Scout's voice carried across the desert base as the young man practically flew towards the workshop, clearly having been told the news, “Py, Snipes, let's friggin hustle! We got places to be, ya bunch a slowasses!”

“Piss off, ya bloody roadrunner! We're goin’ as fast as we can!” Sniper shot back, no real venom in his voice. He knew that Scout had been hit hard by the loss of their teammate, especially since he and Soldier had been the last ones to see them. The kid was more sensitive then the rest of them, especially when it came to someone he cared about dying

Scout slowed ever so slightly, just enough to grab ahold of Pyro's hand. The runner and the arsonist took off together to where Spy was waiting, and Sniper deviated off towards his van.

Heavy was already waiting for him when he arrived, the hulking giant holding both Soldier and Demo over his shoulders. The two had clearly had more to drink than usual, because neither of them were conscious. Sniper contemplated waking them for a moment; this was important after all, and he knew neither man would want to be left out of the loop.

And then he considered how completely insufferable the duo would be if they were awake, and he simply nodded towards the back of the van as he moved to sit in the driver's seat.

Heavy joined him a few moments later, and they were off, speeding down a dusty New Mexico road. Spy's expensive, gleaming vehicle was tearing down the same road as them, the light of the gradually setting sun bouncing off the well maintained blue paint job. He'd told Sniper the name once, while also threatening to gut the marksman if he so much as stepped near the vehicle, but Sniper couldn't be bothered to memorize it.

Sniper had thought that Spy wouldn't ever dare go as fast as he was now, what with all the potholes and tumbleweeds around that could potentially damage the Frenchman's precious ride, but perhaps he'd underestimated how much losing the Chemist had weighed on their most elusive teammate. Spy, for all his aloofness, did occasionally let slip the fact that he actually liked his teammates. Sometimes. Rarely. And usually in some strange, hard to interpret way.

He saw Scout's head pop out of one of the backseat windows, and the lad raised a hand to shield his eyes, like he was trying to see something in the distance. He must have spotted something other than desert, because he pointed towards an upcoming side road before popping back inside.

Sure enough, the car skidded around the corner, and Sniper followed, squinting his own eyes in an attempt to see what Scout had been pointing at.

Tire tracks marred the road, ones that hadn't been caused by Spy's quick turn, but that were also very recent. Sniper grinned and pressed harder on the gas, accelerating until he was only a few feet behind the other vehicle. 

He'd never had a target escape before, and Miss Pauling wasn't about to make him break that streak.

Cold.

You were so cold.

You'd awoken to the sound of your teeth chattering, the sound only made worse when another wave of ripples inevitably wracked your prone form. Each breath came as a gasping wheeze, catching on the film of phlegm that had made a home in your throat and chest. Your stomach felt almost alive in your guts, spitting acid on your sensitive middle as it growled and snarled and roared for food that you couldn't give it. 

You tried to get up, but your body began to shake and wobble dangerously as you began putting pressure on your forearm. Apparently, all your energy had been diverted to shivering in a, perhaps futile, attempt to keep your internal organs from freezing over. Breathing out a puff of warm air, you slid your hands over your chest and stomach, eyes widening as you realized that something was deeply, deeply wrong.

Gone was your well earned muscles and insulating body fat. You felt dangerously thin, like a starved greyhound. Whatever dark magic and science pulled you back from death had seemingly lost most of your fat and muscle reserves in the process. Truly, it was a miracle that you'd been able to walk at all!

You were in a bad spot, and you weren't sure Respawn would be able to save you again, should the worst happen. After all, no merc had ever starved to death before, and you had no idea what would happen if you did. 

‘That’s not going to happen.’ You tried to reassure yourself, ‘Pauling will come to get me.’

How long had you been asleep? It hadn't felt like long, but there were no windows in this common room, and it wasn't as though you could rely on your stomach to tell you that a great deal of time had passed.

With little else to do, you lay your head back down on the cold couch cushions, attempting to curl up closer to the plush, velvety fabric. You tucked your arms into your armpits and folded your knees up close to your chest as you shivered once again. You'd lost feeling in your toes and fingers, but you could still, with great difficulty, wiggle them, which you counted as a win. Your eyes slipped shut as you turned your face down towards your chest, nose buried in the fabric of your uniform in a desperate attempt to seek out any scrap of warmth.

Sleep came easy enough, but it was far from a peaceful rest. Nightmares of endless darkness and being reborn wrong plagued your mind. You woke frequently, but exhaustion dragged you back into unconsciousness just as quickly. Each time you awoke, you were reminded of just how hungry you were, and the urge to gnaw at your own dangerously thin arms grew in intensity. Thirst plagued you as well, and each time your failing mind allowed it, you licked desperately at the inside of your mouth, trying to acquire some moisture for your sandpaper-esque throat.

On your next return to the waking world, as you stared out towards the door that led to the hallway, contemplating drinking one of your fatal mixtures, if only to end your suffering and quicken your return to Respawn, a sound echoed out into the lonely building. You lifted your head, blearily squinting towards the door. Had that been real? Or simply an illusion, a trick crafted by your starved brain?

“Chem? Chem, can you hear me?!”

Miss Pauling.

She did come for you!

You grinned, the action pulling at your chapped lips. You tried to call out, but all you managed was a slight cough. Huffing, you flopped your head back down, eyes locked on the door. You knew that she knew where the phone was in this place; there was no way someone like Miss Pauling didn’t know the ins and outs of every place her mercs set up shop in, so it was only a matter of time before she found you.

Sure enough, after a few minutes passed you began to hear footsteps pounding down the hall. It wasn’t the heavy, familiar footfalls of your team, but rather a lighter, quieter sound. A blurry purple figure entered your field of vision, and after your eyes finally focused, you saw a disheveled, red-cheeked Miss Pauling standing before you.

“Hey there, stranger.” You rasped, wincing slightly when you felt hands suddenly cup your cheeks. Pauling’s hands were warm and slightly calloused, and you blinked slowly, leaning into her touch.

“Jesus Christ, Chem. You never do anything by halves, huh?” Pauling laughed, though the noise came out more like a sob.

“Can't. I wouldn't be a very good Chemist if I did, right?” You joked softly, your eyelids drooping slowly as you began to relax, “Things’d be spillin’ all over the place.”

“Woah, hey!” A series of quick, rapid taps against your cheeks made you open your eyes again, “Stay awake, okay? You're in rough shape, but I brought- well, stole but that's really not important- Engie's truck and his little mini dispenser thing-”

“You stole Engie’s truck?” You interrupted, voice tinged with a sense of horrified awe, “He's gonna kill you.”

The raven haired woman gave you a half smile as she reached an arm under you, pulling you up to your feet to stand beside her. Your vision swam, and you had to lean heavily into her.

“I think bringing you back will soften him up a bit.” She said, looping your arm around her shoulders, “Come on, let's get you to the truck. You look like you're about to pass out.”

“I might.” You admitted. “Got anything to eat? I'm starving.”

Miss Pauling glanced over your emaciated form. “That… actually might be the case. When Respawn brings someone back, it usually leaves them feeling a little bit drained, and it's why you're all so hungry at the end of a battle. Respawning takes energy, and I'd say this last trip took almost all of yours. It ate right through your fat and muscle reserves!”

“Ah,” You replied, “I was afraid that might be the case. What happens if I Respawn again?”

“It's… it's probably best if we don't test that out.”

The two of you walked through the base in silence after that, with you leaning heavily on Miss Pauling for support. She didn't seem to mind, however; though you often caught her casting worried glances at you. You felt the temperature in the air steadily drop as you reached the entrance to the base, yet you were still caught off guard when a chilly blast of wintry air smacked you in the face. Snow swirled all around you, coating the base and battlefield in white. The first rays of an early morning sunrise were just starting to peak over the horizon, giving you enough light to see by.

In the distance, you could see Engie's truck, the blue vehicle standing out amidst the white. However, something seemed… off about the truck. You squinted, trying to figure out what was wrong.

“Hey P, did you bring a… a dog with you?” You mumbled, tilting your head at the canine shape that stood in the headlights.

“What?” Miss Pauling looked confused for a moment, before she, too, saw the creature. “What is… uh oh.”

“Uh oh? Why uh oh?” You questioned, before taking a closer look at the dog, which was now slowly moving towards the two of you.

Oh.

Uh oh indeed.

It wasn't a dog.

It was a wolf.

The beast was huge, with a thick, ungroomed black coat and amber eyes that glowed a bright, golden color in the early morning. It growled as it approached, and you could see saliva frothing at its mouth.

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me.” You balked, stumbling as Miss Pauling pulled you both back, “A rabid wolf. Why not!”

“How did it even contract rabies all the way out here?!” Miss Pauling yelped, quickly drawing her pistol. You eyed the small gun, wondering if she could aim well enough to shoot the hulking animal with your dead weight hanging off her.

Left with no other options, you weakly pawed at your coat, trying to locate something that could help you fight off the rabid beast. You had all the ingredients needed to make something truly dangerous, but if you tried to mix them now, you'd just as likely make something that would kill you before the wolf could.

Grabbing something that would at least blind the animal, you braced yourself as best you could, ready to try and help Miss Pauling fight.

“INCOMING!”

You, Miss Pauling, and the wolf all turned your heads as one, eyes widening when Sniper's van suddenly emerged from the snowstorm like the chariot of an angry Australian god. The vehicle slammed into the wolf, sending it flying out of sight. A few seconds later, an expensive looking car skidded to a stop a few feet away, one of the back doors opening before the car could even fully stop. 

Scout came barreling out first, slipping on the snow and ice as he tried to regain his balance. Sniper, Heavy, and Spy followed suit, with the other's appearing behind them. They all looked absolutely horrendous; their eye bags had eye bags, Soldier and Sniper clearly needed to shave, and none of them were even remotely dressed for the cold weather of the north.

But they had never looked better to you.

Scout spotted you first, and you hardly had time to blink before the Bostonian was upon you, yanking you out of Miss Pauling's hold and into his arms.

“You're alive! Holy crap you're alive!” Scout cried, spinning you around and pressing his face into your shoulder.

Pyro joined you next, the arsonist all but smothering both you and Scout as they sobbed. You patted their back, leaning into their warm suit, attempting to leech their abundant body heat.

Before you could get a word out, a fierce yell startled you into a defensive stance. Suddenly, you were being held up by your armpits and being shook like a maraca.

“DO NOT PULL SUCH A STUNT AGAIN, MAGGOT!” Soldier yelled angrily, but you caught a glimpse of wet eyes under his helmet, “IF YOU DIE LIKE THAT AGAIN I WILL PERSONALLY RIP YOUR YELLOW-BELLIED SOUL RIGHT OUT OF HELL!”

“Sol, put them down, consarnit!” Engineer chided, smacking Soldier in the side. Once the helmeted man set you back down onto the ground, Engineer pulled you into a warm, firm hug, his flesh hand coming to rest on the back of your neck.

“Hey Engie.” You murmured softly, “Don’t be mad at Miss P, okay?”

“Buddy, ah’m gonna be treatin’ her to a steak dinner after this.” he chuckled, before gently passing you over to someone else, “Here, Demo. Be careful with ‘em. They ain’t lookin’ too good right now.”

“Aye, ya look like shite, dont’cha?” Demo laughed softly, gently ruffling your hair before pulling you into a hug, tucking you under his chin. “Ah, I’m glad yer alright. Ye gave us a right scare, ya wee bastard!”

“Sorry.” You chuckled, leaning into his chest. Demo patted your shoulder, before you were released and spun around to see Medic, Heavy, Spy and Sniper. While Heavy lifted you up into one arm, Miss Pauline began questioning how the mercenaries had found out where you and her were.

Medic descended upon you like a mother hen, fretting about the poor state you were in while simultaneously raving about the unexplored limits of the Respawn Machines. He plucked a few tablets out of a bottle in one of his coat pockets, instructing you to swallow, not chew them as Sniper handed you a well worn thermos. It was warm, and when you opened the lid, the smell of coffee hit your nose. A quick sip revealed that it was made just how you liked, which made you smile, because it meant that the usually unsociable marksman had gone out of his way to make the drink specifically for you.

“Here, mon ami,” Spy strode forward, a blanket draped over his arm. He wrapped it around your shoulders gently, tucking it in tightly, almost like your parents would do for you when you were small, “this should warm you up a bit.”

The tenderness of your usually tough, rowdy teammates made you sniffle, and you snuggled in closer to Heavy, clutching your thermos.

“I love you guys.” You said, your voice wavering with emotion, rather than cold this time, “Seriously. I- there isn’t a better team out there.”

Your praise made the gathered men puff up slightly. It was clear your opinion mattered a great deal to them.

“Hell yeah! We’re da’ freakin’ best!” Scout shouted.

“Leetle Chemist is included in that.” Heavy added, and you blushed slightly.

“Heavy is right, mein Chemiker.” Medic agreed, “Jou have cheated Death more zhen anyone else before jou! It is truly amazing!”

“I don’t feel amazing.” You said, quickly sipping the offered coffee.

“Vell, you are severely malnutritioned, so I am not surprised.” Medic replied. “Ah, don’t drink zhat so fast. Jou’ll just zhrow it back up.” 

Once the word ‘malnutritioned’ passed the doctor’s lips, you could practically hear Engineer’s ears perk up. You were sure many home cooked meals with Engie in his workshop were in your future.

“Come on, mate, let’s get em’ outta the cold, yeah?” Sniper suggested to Heavy, gesturing towards his van. Spy snorted.

“Please, you want to have our dear Chemist rest in zhat thing? The last thing zhey need is to be surrounded by piss and crocodile jerky.” he snarked, which drew a disgruntled sneer from Sniper.

“Oi! My van is perfectly clean, and its leagues bettah than your dinky lil’ car! You just wanna hog all their attention ‘cause you’re a needy, selfish buggah!” Sniper shot back.

Heavy sighed deeply as the two men started arguing, before looking down at you.

“Heavy thinks it would be best for leetle Chemist to ride with Engineer in his truck for now. Team is very excited you are alive, and this makes them act-” the two of you winced as Soldier started yelling again, “more like loud idiots than usual, да?”

“At this point, big guy, I’d welcome the noise.” You admitted, “It was… quiet here. And lonely.”

Heavy looked at you with a saddened expression. “How long were you alone for?”

“A… a day, I think. It was hard to tell, since there were no windows.” You glanced over in the direction the wolf had been flung. “Honestly, that might have been for the best, considering what was waiting out here for me and Miss Pauling when we finally got outside.”

“Was wolf, yes? Heavy could not see very well, but it looked like wolf.” The heavy weapons expert said as he started off towards Engineer’s truck.

“Yeah, it was a wolf. A rabid one. You guys showed up just in time. I was afraid it would get close enough to bite us.” You shivered, pulling your blanket in closer.

“Miss Pauling would not have allowed that. She is small woman, yes, but very fierce.” Heavy paused for a moment, looked over at Scout and Soldier, who were talking to Miss Pauling, then leaned in to whisper: “She is better shot than some of the team. Do not tell them I said this.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t say a word.” You winked as Heavy gently set you down in the passenger seat, careful not to jostle you. The seat was still warm from the heater, and you relished in it, almost not even noticing when Engineer slipped into the driver’s seat next to you. 

“Buckle up, darl’.” He grinned, reaching to pull the seat belt over your chest.

“Thanks, Engie.” You returned his smile and lay back, resting your head against your seat belt. 

As you got comfortable, you noticed that the truck had an extra few passengers. Pyro waved to you from the back as both Soldier and Scout climbed up into the bed. Both men looked visibly cold, but they stubbornly plonked themselves down, dead set on staying near you. Just in case.

Spy and Sniper finally stopped squabbling when they realized that you were no longer around to fight over, and both slunk back to their respective vehicles as Engineer started up his truck. Miss Pauling and Medic followed Spy, while Demo and Heavy trailed after Sniper. Knowing your team, there would be another fight the second you all stopped for gas or food, likely over who you should sit with for the rest of the drive back. Honestly, it was like being back in school, surrounded by a friend group of mentally ill lunatics who fought like spoiled dogs for your attention.

You wouldn’t change a thing. You were, after all, just as needy and clingy as the rest of them, and you knew you’d be even more desperate to be near someone all the time, afraid to be back in that horrid silence.

How wonderful for you, then, that you had 8 men, 1 woman, and 1 Pyro who would be more than happy to indulge you.

[elect1z]

How it feels like being a 14 y/o who write self-insert fanfic to cope with herself or just delusional while others makes good fanfics:

Like ppl out here cooking some great fanfics, while me stuck with an boring ahh writing.

I'm still learning how to write properly, since my english isn't perfect. But i hope I'll do better in the future.

[doodlydoodlies]

POV: You’re dating Medic

[habitabel]

❗❗❗THIS ISNT HAPPENING ANYMORE IT ALL WENT TO SHIT❗❗❗

GUYS GUYS GUYS

what do I do with myself rn I'm tweaking out I'm gonna rip my skin off what THIS IS EVERYTHING TO ME

Edit❗❗❗ for more info, I have links to the discord, Twitter, and the official team lovetress website on my page! It's pinned at the top <3 the discord requires you to share a picture of your ID because I guess the game might have nsfw themes or maybe the discord does?? Not too sure but yeah just a warning!! Also, it's been brought to my attention that cabbage (the artist shown here) has stepped away from this project!! I'll share the tweet from cabbage here v

(ily @ncalabby )

[jermer10]

Hi .. I’m very shy with asking people to write hcs but could you please do how the mercs would feel about a big chested (DDD+) fem s/o? NSFW and suggestive themes would be appreciated. That’d make my entire life! ☺️

TF2 mercs with a large chested s/o

18+ only, afab reader | thx for the ask anon!! :3

tw: nsfw content

drabbles under the cut :P

Scout: - he's obsessed with your chest - makes sure to clarify that he'd love you no matter what size your tits are - but jesus they were hot - he's not the most adept to foreplay, but will often play with them before and during intimacy - squeezing them and roughly toying with your nipples to try and get you in the mood - will always beg to cum on your chest, even in the most unconventional times (often when you have quickies in semi public spaces)

Soldier: - could care less about the size of your chest, he's just happy he gets to touch you at all - another man who doesn't care for foreplay, so no special attention to your boobs unfortunately - though you will catch him giving them a longing gaze when he's itching for a fuck - the kind of man to casually squeeze your chest, no sexual intent he's just admiring what's his

Demoman: - THE foreplay king - he teases you, gently biting your nipples between his teeth - sucking on one bud and rolling the other between his fingers - he won't stop until you're writhing and begging for him - has no preference for chest size, but he is admittedly a tit guy - adores it when you give him a tit job, loves it even more when he gets to watch your chest bounce while you ride him

Heavy: - a man who prefers women of the larger variety in general - so your breasts intrigue him, from the moment you first initiate sex he's almost rushing to get you out of your top - worships your chest, peppering it with kisses before lapping at your nipples until you're bruised - will casually squeeze your breasts the way someone would squeeze their partner's ass - "hehe.. do you like them?" "da." his face is red hot

Engineer: - another one who doesn't care about the size of your chest - he only cares about your pleasure - teases you for hours, poking and prodding - insists that you don't wear a bra around the house, after all you should feel comfortable around him! - he soon realizes he can't stop staring at the way your tits bounce as you walk - or how stiff your nipples look in your much too tight tank top - this might be the easiest way to pry him away from his workshop

Medic: - he often has to see your bare chest when you come off the battlefield, half dead and in need of several surgeries - or when you need to come in for a breast exam - and despite being your partner, he can't help but flush at the sight of you, so exposed for him - usually a thigh man, he crumbles when it comes to large chests - on a more sadistic note, he often fantasizes about licking the wounds that may litter your chest after a particularly gory fight - he's a little bit gross but sweet in his own way!

Sniper: - a large breast man through and through - he could play with your tits for hours and hours, in a sexual and non-sexual way - if he could lay in bed sucking your tits, leaving bruises all over the supple flesh, he totally would - loves the way they bounce, the way they sit on your chest, the soft fleshy feeling of holding them in his hands - loves it when you wear outfits that show off your cleavage - loves it even more when he knows he's going to be the one to rip that outfit off later

Spy: - another big cleavage fan - will buy you hundreds of different lingerie sets, he absolutely adores seeing you all dressed up just for him - loves rubbing his cock all over your breasts, watching the the beads precum decorating his tip smear onto your nipples just does something to him - constantly parading you around in clothing that flatters your chest, he needs everyone to know how well endowed you are

[awkward-writes-shit]

Mercenaries x Reader on Laughing Gas who calls them handsome

In this order; Heavy, Medic, Spy, Sniper, Scout, Demoman, Engineer, Soldier, Pyro

Heavy

“You’re handsome…”

The man was too stunned to speak. Medic told him you were going to be real honest when under laughing gas, but he wants expecting THIS.

He finds you adorable like this. You’re absolutely smaller than him (Unless you’re a tall queen/ruler/king, in which we stan * finger snaps *) and carries you around until you’re able to think straight again.

10/10.

Medic

He puts you under just for fun because he finds you cute like this, so he’s gotten used to your loopy speech

“You’re handsome…” “Danke Taube.”

Still makes him giddy every time you compliment him though. Watches you stumble around the room like a toddler.

7/10

Spy

”You’re handsome…”

He knows. He appreciates it, but he knows.

“Merci. You’re a mess…”

Finds your loopy behaviour cute and slightly entertaining. Wouldn’t actively go out of his way to help you, but will keep an eye on you so you don’t end up killing yourself.

6/10

Sniper

“You’re handsome…”

He’s flustered immediately, does the awkward pulling hat down to cover the blush move.

“Thanks Sheila…”

Probably gonna get baby locked in his van due to him not wanting you to get hurt, but also having no idea how to care for you.

8/10

Scout

“You’re handsome…”

Stop inflating his ego, you’ve doomed the others for the next hour.

“YA’ HEAR THAT BUSH MAN?! MA GIRL THINKS I’M HANDSOME”

Bro probably puts you on one of those weird monkey leashes that you put bad kids on (Couldn’t be me…) and just watches you with so much entertainment.

8/10

Demoman

“You’re handsome…”

Dude’s drunk 24/7 so you’re basically the same person at this point.

“No, YER handsome… Beautiful… Pretty… Yeah…”

He’s constantly taking care of his mom, so you’re in good hands. No sharp objects, no fire, no Pyro, absolutely no Pyro, you’re safe.

10/10

Engineer

“You’re handsome…”

So much blush on that poor Texas man’s face.

“Aw… Thanks sweet pea… How ya’ feelin’?”

We stan a man who’s concerned about you. Keeps you in his workshop while he works. More than willing to explain to you what he’s doing like you’re 5.

10/10

Soldier

“You’re handsome…”

He’s a really loud person so everyone is going to know that you called him handsome.

“OF COURSE I’M HANDSOME! I AM THE GREATEST AMERICAN ON EARTH!”

Dude would have no idea what to do with you. Heavy just ends up taking care of you.

2/10

Pyro

“You’re handsome…”

‘Happy Pyro noises’

Definitely not the best at taking care of people, but in you’re loopy state, he’s amazing.

Y’all are absolutely gonna do stuff like colouring, playing with his unicorns, and absolutely cuddling.

[estaquirot]

maybe the mundys always wanted a kid, but the reason why they didn't had any was because infertility issues; maybe mick's mom had a condition like PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) or endometriosis, and maybe the reason why they couldn't adopt or make it via in vitro was because of monetary issues.

all that explanation why? because if it was due a condition sniper would have seen his mother go through excruciating pains during her periods (let's suppose he got adopted before menopause), and his father trying to help her feel more comfortable.

that makes him really empathetic with someone who got periods, whenever it's regular periods or a more painful condition; massages, going to the store to buy pads/tampons/whatever or anything his they're craving, give either space or comfort... you name it.

[scoutsbabygirl]

literally an audio of the reader/listener being railed by ALL OF THE MERCS

the scout voice actor does the accent PERFECTLY. there's another one too i can link if anyone's interested. shoutout to all the va's in this, was frickin' awesome!

[i-willstealyourtoes]

Smut with like scout or sniper idm which one, with like being on opposite teams and having to sneak around❤️‍🩹

I have decided to do a little bit of both !! Hope that's okay :') This is also my first time with smut, so lmk if it's shit 😭 I feel like I made this more suggestive/light-hearted, sorry if that's not what you wanted-

Sneaking around with Scout/Sniper (smut/18+)

Scout

- Absolutely loves the idea of sneaking around his team (and yours) to meet you, let alone fuck you

- In fact, when he first started having feelings for you, he'd often sneak over to your base just to flirt with you some more

- "Hey, fancy meeting you here."

- "Scout this is my bedroom. You're sitting on my windowsill."

- Although he enjoys the thrill of sneaking around, he is not good at not getting caught

- Why? He's loud. And a bit stupid.

- From the moment you start making out to him cumming wherever you'll let him, he can't help the noises that come from his throat

- Moans, groans, incoherent mumblings, you'll definitely hear it all, if not anyone within a 5-meter radius

- He also is big on dirty talk, both giving and receiving

- If he's the one dominating, he will not shut up at all

- "Yeah? You like that? I fuck better than your Scout, right? I bet you like my big-"

- You usually have to cover his mouth to get him to be quiet

- He loves getting you to make some noise, especially if you can be louder than him

- Whether he's being rough on you and going at an intense pace, or making you cum as many times as he can, it's all worth it the moment you start to scream his name

- In fact, he'll probably tease you about it both during and after sex

- "(Class)? Yeah, I know 'em. Real loud mouth."

- However, if you're the one taking control... he's also really loud.

- Forcing him to be quiet by making him bite his shirt while you take him in your mouth, or quickly jerk him off behind a building during a fight is the only way you'll get him to shut up a little

- "F-fuck, crap- oh- (Y/n), y-you're goin' too fast, I-I can't- ah-!"

- His brain quickly melts when he gets close, he can't stop himself from whining out for more :(

- As for actually getting caught, it depends.

- If it's your team, he'll be all cocky about it

- "Yeah, I fucked your team, and now I fucked your (Class)! Wait, that doesn't sound right, uh-"

- But if it's his team, there's two ways this could go.

- Option one: He shrieks and tries to cover himself

- Option two: He tries to awkwardly cover things up (he's not a great liar)

- Both are quite funny, and it'll get the two of you laughing

- And he's more than willing to keep trying after you get another chance

Sniper

- Initially, Sniper wasn't sure about sneaking around to fuck or make out, preferring to go to his van instead

- So you'll have to push him first :)

- Winks, sticking your tongue out, very intentional poses when you know he's looking at you through his scope

- Or even some teasing kisses and touches before you part before matches

- Do it enough, and he'll snap, grabbing you by your hips, wrists or sides of your arms (or your hair, if you're into it or have it)

- "You think you're funny, doin' things like that?"

- He'll immediately start kissing you on your neck and leaving marks, not caring where he leaves them

- "This what you wanted, huh? Couldn't wait for me any longer?"

- He'll either bring you to his sniping spot where he knows no-one will interrupt, or he'll take you to another private area

- But that doesn't mean he won't humiliate you about things

- "So you wanna be caught, hm? You want your team to see how good I fuck you?"

- Sniper usually fucks hard (he's got a lot of repressed frustration), but you're genuinely worried your legs might be jelly for multiple hours with how much he used you

- Having a guy eagerly eat you out, finger you and fuck you will do that

- After that, he's definitely more willing to have sex sneaking around

- Especially if it's in his sniping nest

- Having you there, diligently sucking him off, while he kills members of your team? Best feeling in the world.

- What's his secret you may ask? He does not. Look down.

- "Fuck, your skilled on the field and with your mouth.."

- Unlike Scout, he doesn't make much noise other than the occasional stuttered breath and quiet groan

- If you get him to look and show your tongue running up him tenderly, there are two ways this could go.

- He either finally lets out a shaky moan like you wanted, or he quickly shoves you down his throbbing cock. Or both.

- If you get caught, he'll likely lose all his confidence, quickly flushing red and stammering about the place

- Either that, or he'll be frustrated enough to kill the guy on your team and get right back to it, no qualms

- Unless it's his team and he already knows that they know. Then there's a small chance he'll respond like normal.

- "Oh. Hey Demo, y'need something? I'm kinda busy right now."

- He'll still be embarrassed on the inside later, feel free to tease him (but he might get some pay-back for it later)

[supernova41st]

Scout fics when you go through a breakup: He’d comfort you and give you cookies :))

What he’d actually do..

[hypernova-writes]

hii~ i'm nervous but really enjoy your writings and drabbles, so i thought i'd make a request! could i please have a drabble for both scout and sniper with a reader who drools while getting r a i l e d, and eventually squirts? super rough too 😵‍💫 sorry if it sounds awkward, but i just think the idea of being able to do such a thing is so attractive... tysmm!!

☆ ITS NOT AWKWARD YOURE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGGEEE. I'm so unhealthy for Sniper and Scout like ugghhh I need them both at the same time—

Scout and Sniper Overstimulating their S/O

Scout

OH HE LOVES IT.

Scout loves that dumb fucked out expression you get whenever the two of you would fuck.

This guy has stamina, like darling I don't know WHAT you were thinking.

Easily bounces back after his own orgasm just so he could fuck you senseless more and more.

The first time he saw this, was Valentines day. He'd fucked you in just about spot of this room and every position, now you were laid on your back as he had your pressed into a mating press.

You were already out of it, head lulled to the side, breasts bouncing, he pressed his forehead to yours. "You still with me sweetcheeks?..you can give me anotha' right?"

You could only whine, as drool trailed down your chin, hands gripping the bed sheets. You couldn't warn him that you were about to cum but he felt it.

He looked down, seeing that you'd squirted all over his cock, making a mess of his pelvis, and some of the bed.

Scout couldn't stop the growl that left his throat as he picked up the pace. He wanted more, he needed to have you do that again.

"Oh dollface, c'mon..do it again..fuckin' make a mess."

So yeah. Be prepared whenever the two of you have time? You're getting sent to heaven with how he fucks.

Sniper

This feral ass man...

Definitely fucks you with the purpose of making you all vulnerable and needy so he can take care of you afterwards.

Sniper loves ot when you get all messy. Go on love, drool all over his pillow. Show him how good he's fucking you.

His favorite position to fuck you is doggy style, he presses your face into the pillow and just pounds into you.

He loves to hear the wet squelching of your cunt as you squirt all over him.

"..look at you 'roo..making a mess all over daddy's dick.."

He's filthly with his words, his hands would leave bruises on your hips as he brings you back onto his cock.

It gives him such an ego boost that he's the only one who can do this to you.

The man also loves how whiney you get, you're so sensitive that a simple smack to your ass sends shivers down your spine.

"Heh..who says we're done love?..bring that ass back here.."

[the-teufort-nine]

Arousal hcs for the support class? What are they like when they’re horny?

Support Classes | What Support Is Like When They Need To Go To Horny Jail

Obviously, NSFW below!

Sniper:

<3 This man will go to insane lengths for privacy to jork it. Like, he will straight up drive off into the desert before his belt even gets unbuckled.

<3 UNLESS he gets hot 'n bothered during battle, and he has the object of his infatuation nearby his nest. Then they're getting yoinked off the battlefield and into his lap.

<3 Listen. This man is gross. I know this. You know this. Don't lie to yourself. He definitely has a scent kink and will snag his partner/crush's underwear to help him get off if they're not around.

<3 Get's FERAL when he's horny. If he's alone, he bites his hand so hard it bleeds, and if he's with someone, they ain't leavin' till he breeds. Expect lots of growls and snarls and rough love bites.

<3 Want him to get horny immediately? Stretch and show your neck/midriff.

<3 Likes post-nut snuggles. Don't expect him to be vocal for a little while.

Spy:

<3 Despite being such a romantic person who clearly gets bitches, he doesn't get horny very often. Like, if he's with someone, then obviously he doesn't have any problems getting it up, but he doesn't usually pop a boner midday.

<3 When he does though? Insatiable. This man is not going to settle for any old porn magazine. No, he's going to get his material straight from the source. Is this an invasion of privacy? Yes. Does he care? Right now, not at all.

<3 Acts just as stuttering and clumsy as his son if the person he's interested in shows up when he's trying to take care of himself, before he get's hella snappy. Either fuck off or come help him!

<3 Really slow to trust and get comfortable with someone. Don't expect the mask to come off until you have a super strong bond with Spy.

<3 Usually quiet if he's masturbating, but he likes to praise his partners. Lots of petting and light hair pulling to guide them.

<3 Wanna give him a 'problem?' Put on a classy outfit and take the lead. Tease him a little, and if you're good enough, he'll fold like wet, hard laundry.

<3 Post-nut cigarette inbound. King of aftercare, but please treat him nice too.

Medic:

<3 Exhibitionism! Get your exhibitionism here!

<3 This man has no shame. He won't do it, like, in the common areas, but if you walk into his Medbay or Room after work hours, that's on you. Def has masturbated on the battlefield before. Man's is a FREAK for blood and gore.

<3 Also pretty insatiable, though he gets hornier more often than Spy does. He can take care of himself, but he prefers a warm body to help him out.

<3 He's into bloodplay, doctor/nurse roleplay, and probably wound fucking, if I'm being honest. Also, he decided that, out of all the things he could of done to get back at Team Classic, he decided to get them pregnant.

<3 What i mean here is: Medic has a breeding kink, and he will make it a reality, no matter the sex of his partner.

<3 LOUD ASS GERMAN MAN. People know when he's taking care of himself or getting some. Please gag him. PLEASE.

<3 Wanna make him think with his other head? Dress up in a nurse outfit and/or rip someone's organs out. Fair warning, though, if you take the 'and' option, you'll be walking funny for a while, if you can walk at all.

<3 Great at cleaning you and him up post-nut. Gets clingy afterwards and very possesive. Pray your teammates don't accidentally stumble across you, because they're gonna meet a bloody end.