#tf2 shakespearicles

[jevilowo]

List of Tf2 inconsistenties that piss me off

Bc its 1am and im staying awake while beloved mutual Jo livetexts me while they watch venom (I'd tag them but they blocked tf2 tag)

The timeline presented in the Shakespearicles post. Just read it yourself its sosisoso frustrating

The claim in the Shakespearicles post that mankind gave up inventing until 1921. What do you call Radigan in the 1890s then idiot.

Different claims on Merasmus' age (older than the universe in doommates, vs 6000ish in the lore comics) (this means the universe is 5999ish i guess okay)

Scout claims in comic 4 that he met Ms Pauling 6 years ago. Medic claims the mercs have shared "at least" 8 halloweens together. Despite both of these, the catch up comics imply the gravel wars with our mercs only took place over one summer. The first two are supposed to be meta jokes I think (ms pauling debuted in the war update comic, 2009, 5 years before comic 4 [miscalculations again??], and the first scream fortress was also 2009, 8 years before comic 6) but come onnnn be consistentttt.

Australian women had moustaches in the 1890s, but Mags doesn't? I've blamed this on long term Australium Depletion but its still annoying.

Saxton Hale claims its 2010 on the mannconomy update page, but the corresponding comic takes place in the 60s. I'm presuming this means the comic takes place on a different part of the timeline from Saxton’s notes but okay.

The crazy wild Australium retcon. So Sniper was created in 2007 to be australian. Then they invented Saxton Hale for Spy vs Sniper in 2009. Then people liked him so he became important. So in 2010, the engineer update invented Australium (although it was alluded to as early as the classless update a bit before that) and the corresponding comic claimed it made all australians buff. Despite this, in 2011 Sniper's parents were given very not buff, probably bc the artist was hella rushed at the time and had no time to reread the engineer update stuff. Then the comic writer remembered scrawny bastard Sniper was Australian, although maybe the regular writers were cooking excuses for that before then. So we got the New Zealand excuse in 2014 (im pretty sure), but that still didn't explain away his parents looking normal. Thus, my australium depletion theory. Valve should just hire me at this rate smh.

Silas Mann. They were setting him up to be somewhat important I'M SURE OF IT. They even retconned a mann co "quarterly concern" from the classless update to include his name for the engineer update! And they changed the cover slightly. Can't tell if this is a retcon or some abandoned "they tried to cut him out of history" sideplot thingy to explain how Silas became the Horsemann. I'm still holding out hope he returns in comic 7.

Abe Lincoln died two different ways and still became a mercenary? I excuse this as he faked his death a little too well (some blueprints imply it in the engineer update)

Speaking of, a coin claiming he invented the rocket jump despite MY BOY SHAKESPEARICLES. GAH.

This is just off the top of my head, mind you, and i haven't finished lore research. Expect many more grievances.

But yeah no in conclusion the writers need a calculator and also to consult each other more often so they don't contradict each other

[spookyscaryships]

A Shakespearicles (Team Fortress 2) Moodboard

Requested by: @two-trucks-having-s3x

- Mod Stare

[phaeton-flier]

I like the silly nonsense of much is TF2s lore (Stairs were invented by Abraham Lincoln as a replacement for Rocket Jumping, itself invented by Shakespearicles, historys strongest writer) but I sometimes like to imagine that a lot of it is just Soldier's attempts to write a history of America.

[hollywolly3000]

people are always talking about how in tf2 "abraham lincoln invented the rocket jump" wich is fuckihg WRONG

SHAKESPEARICLES THE STRONGEST WRITER INVENTED THE ROCKET LAUNCHER AND ROCKET JUMP

Abraham Lincoln invented stairs

[thatradfailure]

I love TF2 but the biggest gripe and criticism I have for it is the really obvious erasure/absence of any native peoples, in either important location (the United States of America and Austalia).

It's really not subtle. America was invented (not founded or discovered) by Shakespearicles. There is not mention of Manifest Destiny, or any tribes in the area, or even of Thanksgiving. Their imagery is just used for a couple cosmetics, that's all. Australia also never mentions anything in relation to their aboriginal population- not a single word. Not about them meeting the explorers, not of them introducing any customs, not even them having any rituals or rules or beliefs about Australium. Uluru is a sacred thing to aboriginal Australians, and yet in the comics it's just a styrofoam and balsa wood model made to cover up Australium mines.

It's just. It's really jarring. And a little upsetting. Where are they? Where are the native peoples? Why don't they have any involvement or even mention in the lore? Sure, I can make up my own headcanons all I want, but... That doesn't fix the fact that they've been completely erased, aside from some appropriated aesthetics.

[feralrabidcrow]

Okay so thinking about it logically, there is no way the TF2 universe's economy isn't fucked to all hell.

Spy's suit jacket alone costs 10k. That's 75k in today's money.

Heavy's gun costs 400k to fire for 12 seconds. That's 3 million dollars in today's money. To fire his gun for an hour straight without stopping would cost 900 million dollars in today's money.

It cost Medic 1.3 billion dollars to bring Sniper back from being dead. That is 9.75 billion dollars today. (Which is actually a pretty good deal for bringing back the dead when Heavy could come close to that price tag just by firing his gun for 10 hours.)

Obviously the true answer to this is Typical TF2 Lore Inconsistencies™, but I think it's funny to think about if something atrocious happened to the economy in this universe and money just has no real value anymore. After all, this is the same universe where Sex Bomb by Tom Jones came out sometime before 1972, and the second floor was invented before stairs but after rocket-jumping, by none other than Mr. Shakespearicles himself.

[aprofessionalwithoutstandards]

I know it’s probably been said a thousand times before but I feel like TF2 content especially like fanworks work best operating like the princess bride: you have your silly and your have your goofy but if you’re gonna have your drama, both of those go a long way in building it (see TFC Heavy being kind of a B villain right up until killing the Medic vs Inigo Montoya’s monologue being repeated throughout the movie until it lands with a whole different tone on the last go around)

Idk I just feel like a lot of people will make TF2 stories super super dramatic (not to say that’s a bad thing AFAIK Emesis Blue is that but it does it well enough that everyone loves it) while also kind of forgoing that the world TF2 inhabits is. Stupid. Silly. There is an entire country full of people that are so juiced up on a funny rock that they ended up making a utopia of overbuff beer drinkers. Abraham Lincoln invented stairs. Shakespearicles

YEAH!!! I've definitely said this kind of thing before, you can definitely have there be drama and high stakes while maintaining a silly, absurdist tone! It's a hard balance for a lot of people to strike - if I can stereotype a little bit, dramatic fanfiction seems to exist as "overly edgy grimdark angst" and up until rather recently most "funny" fanfiction was like, Le Epic Shrek Memes with intentionally misspelled words bc that's funny I guess (kind of an Emesis Blue [which I still have not seen, I do not care and you can't make me] vs your standard gmod video dichotomy) Not to say I've never read/watched/etc anything that nails the tone, I definitely have, but it's not as common as I'd like to be. The Princess Bride is a GREAT example of a funny, entertaining, almost parodying story that manages to also have high dramatic stakes the the audience cares about. Sniper gets attacked by a Rodent of Unusal Size and dies send tweet

[transgender-scout]

i need you to know despite knowing absolutely shit all about team fortress 2 that your posts frequently entertain my brain and i send them to my boyfriend so he can give me the lore- thank you for giving us this bonding experience LOL

oh HELL yes!

tbh finding out the lore secondhand is the best way to experience tf2.

like did you know that shakespeare is in the tf2 universe and the world's strongest writer and also called shakespearicles and also looks like this?

he also invented the two story building but sadly not stairs.

that honor goes to abraham lincoln, team fortress's first pyro.

[birdenjoyer]

I'm disappointed that tf2 isn't even a little canon to the other games because it'd be so funny if Gordon Freeman knew who Shakespearicles was

[anonymouscentral]

Okay so basically

There was an old rich dude who owned a company named Zephaniah Mann. He had two sons who hated eachother, and they convinced him to buy New Mexico because they heard rumors of gravel being there. When they arrived, there was nothing but sand, and Zephaniah got every disease known to man. He gave his company to some dude named Barnabus Hale, and the entirety of New Mexico to his sons to share before promptly dying.

They, of course, immediately hired mercenaries to kill eachother. This team included Abraham Lincoln, inventor of Stairs, and Nikolai Tesla. This didn’t work, because they both had hired mercenaries, and thus kicked off the gravel war. They paid this dude who isn’t super important whose last name is Conagher to build immortality machines, and gave him a miracle rock called Australium that’s from outer space to do it.

Fast-forward a long time, and the gravel wars are still going on. Dell Conagher, AKA the Engineer, is hired to make new immortality machines and does so. Suddenly, both brothers are invited to meet at the Alamo, which they had rented and flown out to New Mexico. They met, put aside their differences, began hatching a plan to create a machine to get one of them pregnant so that the Mann family would have an heir to inherent their companies(Reliable Excavation and Demolition[RED] and Builder’s League United[BLU]), before promptly being killed by their secret third brother who’s name is Gray Mann and he was raised by hawks. The Gravel War ends, and Saxton Hale(current owner of Mann Co.) hires the playable mercs to fight off his robots which run on money. They do this for a while before Gray Mann confronts Saxton directly and has his daughter fight him for Mann Co. His daughter wins because Saxton doesn’t want to fight a child, and the mercs are fired.

A while passes, and the secret person behind the Gravel War(the administrator) messages her assistant(Miss Pauling) to find the mercs. She does this(except Dell, because he’s building another immortality machine for The Administrator) and they go to kill Gray Mann. Gray Mann hires the TFC(Team Fortress Classic) mercs to fight them off, and is eventually killed for his immortality machine. Meanwhile, the playable TF2 mercs are fighting the other eight TFC mercs off(killing them) as well as a giant army of robots that’s drunk from the demoman(Tavish Finnegan Degroot)’s blood, eventually doing so and killing the TFC heavy. That’s where it ends for now because the last comic isn’t out yet.

Oh, also, three of the TF2 mercs die. The Sniper is killed by the TFC mercs and brought back by the Medic, the Medic is killed by the TFC heavy and brought back by trading someone(unclear if it’s one of the TF2 or TFC merc’s)’s soul for a pen in a deal with the devil, and the Scout is killed by a bunch of robots and promptly brought back because he’s god’s gift to women(they have three foosball tables in heaven). Also, Tom Jones has his neck snapped by the Soldier, and then again in heaven by a cherub because the Scout was tricked into believing Tom Jones was his father by the Spy in a heartbreaking moment where the Spy reveals he’s the Scout’s father and says he’s proud of him before he dies.

Oh, and Shakespearicles invented Rocket Jumping.

Any questions?

-Mod Olivo

oh my this is interesting, i may not quite know who any of these people are due to my virus tendencies but this was a good read! thank you mod olivo:)

[jevilowo]

Have some stupid comics

[friendlyengie]

ok actually I want to do my own thoughts on why tf2 is Like That.

obviously the easiest gimme is how easy the characters are to recognize. I think the psychology or whatever behind their easily recognizable silhouettes and simple yet effective specific design traits have been talked about into the ground but it’s very true. Put a hat on a guy and give him dog tags. The Sout.

but the other thing is just how fucking Many of them there are. 9 main characters in game with their unique voicelines and tinges of backstory in the comics and meet the merc vids, that’s enough to get a guy to start pounding on the ground like an ape if you’re a Character Enjoyer. And then you have the less prevalent guys who are still like. More recognized in the tf2 lore even if they rarely (if at all) make appearances In game. Saxton, Admin, Pauling, etc. and then you go really fucking deep and all the certified “guy with 2 seconds of screen time” fans can dig up all those freaks in the corners of the comics and shit. You know.

And then it’s just like. Tf2 has nothing lore. Not as in it doesn’t have any lore, it just. It’s nothing. There’s no consistent theme aside from the fact that it’s absolute nonsense. The official comic series has a story, and I love them, but it’s all built on plot contrivances and killing characters like 3 different times and they all come back normal and fine. Something something Shakespearicles is the strongest writer to have ever lived. “Tf2 takes place in the 1960s” yes and it does make for a good basis for aesthetics and stuff. But also no it doesn’t. Don’t lie to me. The 1960s of tf2 is but a phantom of the 1960s we know. Sex Bomb was released in 1999. but that means you can literally do whatever. Respect the timeline as much as tf2 writers do, which is to say literally not at all. Do whatever the fuck you want and tint it with a vintage color palette. It’s awesome.

It’s just kind of prime “put a guy in a situation” media isn’t it. These guys were kind of built to be put in a wacky situation. Faces built for tv . Sits in the corner and sighs . Anyways. The absolute nonsense that is the canon lore mixed with the slivers of actually caring about these characters keeps you around. Most people like to care about characters, to be invested in their emotions or whatever, so when media is just downright mean spirited about its characters it makes it a little embarrassing to bother to care. But sometimes tf2 will drop something like Scout’s Death Scene and Spy’s Confession or “Btw demo has like the most fucked up backstory ever what is wrong with him” or give Engineer ties to the administrator and also the canonical tfc engineer and also the backstory of why tf2 is tf2 as a whole, or The War Update. And it makes you go ough. Ohoho. Ok. These characters can be ridiculous and it’s good but also there’s enough depth that you can also bite into them like a ripe pear and it rules.

funny hat game. Never let anyone tell you you can’t dress up the mercenaries. “He would not fucking wear that-“ have you SEEN this guys cosmetics? Shut up. A dress is like the least of your concerns. You like to dress up a funny guy don’t you? Yeah you do. Go dress up a funny guy.

And then just like. Sort of as a result of the baseline that the source set up and also the community that the fan base fosters, people Love to put those guys in situations. That one post that’s like. The tf2 mercs are Greek gods to them or whatever. They exist in so many forms. People went fucking nuts over Emesis Blue dude, a horror movie (and it is a movie, let’s be real here) featuring Catholic Guilt Medic Tf2. And that was recent. I haven’t even been around long enough to say anything about the prevalence of sfm animation in the fanbase. Put that guy in a situation to the Extreme. Reinvent that guys narrative. (Mindset with varying success but you know.) I don’t know a thing about any freak fortress character but those guys are like their own self sustaining ecosystem.

And then there’s just a lot to say about how customization of characters leads to a lot of potential for oc creation and the world is big enough to also support that, and even if it’s not, Literally who cares. They have a wizard in that game. Nothing is off the table anymore. Do whatever you want. I don’t care.

How does tf2 do that to people.

[teufort9-moved]

Josephine Baker was the RED Team Fortress Classic Spy

And you can’t change my mind

[sionnach-uaine]

Hey DW when are we gonna get Shakespearicles, the world’s strongest writer and inventor of America?

I mean come on, there’s no way this motherfucker doesn’t exist in the Throne of Heroes;

We even already have a Shakespeariclesface in the game!

[little-bullheaded-shit]

I am very aware of Shakespearicles thank you all for checking, I am no amateur in TF2 lore.

[charbway]

it's so fucking funny when people in the tf2 fandom get mad at other people's writing/art for historical inaccuracies like... do you actually think that rocket launchers/2 story buildings were invented by a guy named shakespearicles or that australium exists