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orchidyoonkook · 2 months ago

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To What We Were Before, And All The Things After | JJK | Ch. 8

Title: Photo Shoots and Blasphemous Discoveries

Pairing: Prince!College Student!JK x Fine Arts Major!(F)!Reader

Series Rating//Genre: (M) | College AU, Mild Royalty AU, Smut, Angst, Fluff, S2F2L, Indiffernce to lovers, sloooowwww ass burn

Summary: You're just there to help JK with his final project, so why are you being doused in water, facepaint and smoke? Art. Art is why.

Warnings: T, language, fluff, angst, honestly this one's kinda wholesome and fun, some photogrpahy jargin in there, but nothing a quick google search can't fix if you really need to <3, it's mostly surface level jargin. Also the smoke machine works cuz JK has great ventilation due to the massive windows being open, so don't worry bout that XD, some light and fun name calling, some world building. Ask if you need clarification on anything. That's all I think!

Word Count: 11,684

Release Date: September 1, 2024. 4:30PM

A/N 1: Surprise! Happy JK Day.

PJK [7:36pm]: Saturday afternoon. my place. 11am. PJK [7:36pm]: bring an extra set of clothes, something warm. Sweats if you have them. PJK [7:37pm]: also, Im gunna need your shirt size

The first three weeks of November have flown by and dragged on at the same time.

The weather’s getting colder. You need a thick jacket if you want to be anywhere outside, and all leaves have fallen from the trees, leaving pines the only ones left with their winter coats on. Hot chocolate from greenhouse cafe has become part of your life’s blood so you don’t freeze, and gloves with pocket warmers inside them are once again a part of your everyday.

But November skies have returned. And you frequently set up camp on the drying grass beside the greenhouse, dressing your canvas with oil paint to their likeness as it’s the only paint that doesn’t dry the second it’s out of the tube in the cold, static air.

Jungkook told you earlier in the week the shoot would most likely be this weekend, and that he just had a few final strings to pull together before being able to confirm. So with that in mind, you intentionally tried to finish all your work before this weekend, knowing the shoot will take a while to complete.

He mentioned it may leak over into Sunday depending on how much you get done on the first day, which is fine with you considering you usually spend Sunday evenings at his place anyway. You’d consider it an extended edition of your regularly scheduled broadcast.

And speaking of regularly scheduled, you haven’t missed a single movie night since Nel left. Granted, it’s only been three weeks, but even missing the two you did because of Nel had made an impact.

You’d gotten so used to them, having that time to destress and unwind before the week starts. A nice little routine that helps reset you both mentally and physically.

Suddenly not having that was…a weird feeling you try not to remember.

And you are more than happy to never miss another one ever again.

You aren’t sure what Jungkook tells Adaline he’s doing during movie night, but she’s never interrupted you, not even once. And it’s something you are increasingly grateful for, because she is one of the things you destress from as your unspoken rivalry always amps up the closer to exam season you get.

It’s Thursday evening, and you’re in your room finishing up a Microeconomics 3 assignment while piano music plays on a speaker in the corner. You use it to help you focus, and it’s working its magic as you’re finishing your work in record time.

Music has always helped you work better, and you credit it largely with how you’ve been able to keep up with everything in your schooling.

Yuri’s in her room, doing homework as well you assume. Or maybe texting Tai—the dreamy, big dicked Ilcalos island Count—you swear she’s only put her phone down for sleep and showering, as she’s constantly checking to see if he’s messaged her. And you hope it turns out well for them, Yuri deserves someone who treats her well. Especially after the whole Jungkook debacle—which you’re not allowed to bring up—and then the poor rebound you aren’t allowed to talk about either. You’re just happy she’s finally found someone worth her time.

Picking up your phone, you shoot Jungkook a text back.

You [7:40pm]: okay! saturday at 11 sounds good. I’ll bring sweats and warm socks

You message him your shirt size too, curious as to what he’ll use it for, but you’re sure you’ll find out in due time. You always do.

Subject to many of his homework assignments, you’ve been posed and lit and adjusted every which way.

Jungkook is incredibly professional when you’re with him as a model. Light touches to correct posing, always with a ‘may I’ before he does, and he fills the room with kind words, good vibes, and fun music so you never feel awkward.

At first you were really iffy on the whole idea when he first asked in September, because it would be the prince of your nation photographing little ol’ you. You weren’t anything special—yet—and you’re still never one for being in the spotlight, or for being on camera. At all. But if it was just for homework, and you were helping out a friend…you figured why not?

It helped that all of your worries immediately faded when you saw the results of that first shoot.

An email from a very non-princely email address found its way into your inbox. The subject was the date of the shoot, and the only message inside being:

thanks. Hope you like them.

Let’s do it again sometime.

-J

When you opened the attachments you made a quick dive to catch the phone that fell from your hands in shock.

You looked…beautiful. Like you never had in pictures before. Not in school, or at graduation, not even in the ones you took of yourself.

You didn’t know you were capable of looking like that.

Like how he saw you. Captured you.

And you’ll never admit you’ve held your chin a little higher with every shoot since.

They make you feel powerful, attractive. More confident, and sure of yourself, as if you were always meant to be in front of a camera. Like you’d been in front of one since before you could walk.

They do that for you.

He…does that for you—with his pictures, of course.

Jungkook is very talented. Very skilled with his camera, and you find yourself looking forward to the concepts he comes up with every time. Trusting him and whatever his vision is wholeheartedly.

Though a small, immature piece of you is also pleased he still wants you to model, and not Adaline. That he finds you easier to work with over her.

Your competitive streak never fails to come out, even with the smallest, secretive things.

Take that Adaline.

You gladly help him out with his homework, and he does the same for you.

If you ever need a male reference or a profile study. Anatomy practice, features practice, likeness practice. Anything and almost everything, all you have to do is ask, and he sits still or places whatever you need in front of you while you sketch.

Hands, however, have always been a personal favourite of yours.

They’re one of those things that can be drawn a hundred different ways and never look the same. Always a new position you can put them in. Consistently able to shake things up. And one set is never like the others—like eyes. There’s little differences in all of them and that’s where their magic lies.

You do these studies at the greenhouse, it has the best light to shadow ratio. When you ask him for one, he’ll switch to working with one hand, while the other does whatever you tell it. Normally either placed on your table or if there isn’t enough room, which nine times out of ten there isn’t because of all your supplies, you stick your foot on the lower metal frame of his table and he rests his arm, wrist or palm on your up bent knee.

Due to this, you’ve unintentionally come to find out that his hands are very strong, very calloused, and very, very warm…

Also! Aside from hand studies, you love loose figure studies because they’re great warm up sketches. And what Jungkook doesn't know is that you have dozens of warm up sketches of him. Doesn’t know you sneak pictures here and there when you can, hiding them in a hidden album on your phone entitled ‘hmwk screenshots.’ And he definitely doesn’t know that when he’s sitting at the cafe, nose deep in assignments, you doodle his features or his outfit in real time.

A nose here, a jacket there. A muscular forearm covered in tattoos also tends to find its way onto your page every so often.

He’s got a good physique. And the ridges make for excellent anatomy practice. So does the intricate line work of tattoos, and fabric rippling. Especially in drastic lighting. Consistency is key in maintaining and improving your work and it’s not like any of these sketches will ever see the light of day anyways.

They’re just, well…practice.

A sigh escapes you, and you refocus on finishing your microecon work. You still have two more assignments to get done before Saturday at eleven.

“And why are you working with some random girl when I’m available, again?” Adaline asks. She’s currently sitting on Jungkook's couch in your spot. He’s setting up tomorrow's materials against the big white wall by the floor length windows that showcase his balcony.

It’s why he chose to live here instead of in the dorms or on campus. His place isn’t enormous, like most people would think, it has enough room for everything a regular student needs: bedroom, kitchen, workspace, living room, bathroom, even a guest room. But the one thing he keeps different is the big white wall where a dining room would normally be.

Jungkook’s place has high ceilings, 10 feet tall, which is higher than the average but not excessive. And the wall that connects his kitchen to the balcony is a perfect mock studio. He can even keep all his equipment there; lights, gels, backgrounds, tubs full of props, camera cases, lenses, and more all stored in neat shelving against another wall.

“Because students volunteered for extra credit, and she’s who was assigned to me,” a small lie, one he was sure that Adaline wouldn’t dig into too deeply.

“Why didn’t you tell me I could volunteer?”

“Because you didn’t need the extra credit?”

She pouts, and goes back to her phone.

Adaline also doesn’t know it’s you he’s photographing and that is one hundred percent intentionally planned by him.

He could sense something between you two after you made that one comment after fall break. He notices now how you stiffen slightly every time he mentions Adaline, and the one time he mentioned you in passing to test the waters, Adaline changed the conversion topic almost immediately. A look of annoyance, or maybe even insecurity in her eyes.

So he’s been lucky that Adaline has never wanted to see any of his schoolwork prior to or after the singular shoot he did with her.

Lucky she hasn’t seen your face fill up his screen constantly.

And extremely lucky that she doesn’t know about the hidden folder buried deep in his desktop labeled ‘eqpmt rcpts’ filled with dozens of candid shots of you.

To be fair, you don’t know about them either. They’re random, shots taken every now and then where he thought you looked happy, focused, or just existing. True candids of the most candid person he knew.

It started that day with his first assignment from Professor Hirmer. He’d taken those quick pictures of you painting, and then simply never stopped.

He has pictures of you in the courtyard, walking and talking to Yuri, you smiling. He has some he took on his phone when you’re over for movie night, invested in the film or talking to him. And a bunch of you painting at the greenhouse. It’s hard to take secret candids when he’s right beside you, but he manages seeing as you haven't caught him yet.

He even has a few of you and Nel, love clearly written on your face in every single one of them.

Whenever he spots you before you spot him, and he has his camera on him, he takes a couple.

They’ve amassed into a healthy sum, but he thinks of it as a harmless habit as no one will ever know. And it’s not like he’s following you around to take them or using them for anything nefarious.

He just likes taking your picture. Capturing your spirit, your candor.

Your realness.

You are wholly yourself, always, no holding back, all of the time.

And to him, it feels like coming up for a breath of fresh air.

“Hey!” you say as you let yourself into Jungkook’s apartment. You’d knocked but no one answered and it was currently 10:56am on Saturday, so you knew he was here. Plus, his door was unlocked.

“Jungkook?” you call.

No answer.

You take your shoes off after closing the door and locking it. He should really keep his door locked.

Very quickly become best friends with the couch, you toss your backpack of warm clothes on the floor while you wait for him to make an appearance.

There’s shoot equipment everywhere; lights in the corner, some with soft boxes on them, gels laid out on the coffee table, and what you’ve come to learn is a lens case sits on the couch beside you in Jungkook's usual spot.

Jungkook has also somehow managed to find some small trees in blue ceramic pots and what you’re pretty sure is a smoke machine.

But the most peculiar thing is what looks to be a kiddie pool up against the wall with a folded tarp at its base.

Well that's…interesting…

You hear a door open somewhere in the apartment and running water.

“Jungkook? That you?”

“Hey! Yep. Just give me a sec, I’m almost done.”

The water sounds cease and Jungkook makes his grand entrance as he turns the corner holding a large watering can. Your eyebrow raises.

“For the trees?” you ask.

“What?”

You point to the watering can currently making his veins pop.

He laughs, “Oh! No. This is for later. You’ll see,” and walks to the other side of the room by the pool.

“Aren’t we mysterious today,” you say, following him with your eyes. He’s in ripped black jeans that accentuate the muscle definition of his thighs, and a matching baggy shirt. When his back is turned you snap a quick picture. The fabric folds on his baggy shirts are some of your favourite mindless things to cool down sketch.

“Nah, just focused. We have a lot to get through today.” He sets down the watering can and you can see the moment the switch flips from friend to photographer. “The guest room is ready for you. There’s a clothing rack inside with each look labeled. There’s also makeup and face paint, if you could bring out the make up after you're done changing, that would be great. We’re gonna start with ‘Bright and Bold’, okay?”

You usually use the spare room as a change room when you have to switch clothes for a shoot. But they were always from your own closet. He’d tell you the concept he was going for and you’d bring a few options to choose from.

Makeup you were used to, though. Jungkook loves abusing your artistic abilities for his shoots in the way you decorate your face or body, saying they make his works a level up from the rest of his classmates.

They also usually make for some of the coolest pictures you have of yourself.

This is the first time he’s ever bought clothing, though.

You shouldn’t be as surprised as you are, this being his final assignment for an important class, and him being as serious as he is about his work and the final product. But you can't help it, you’re excited to see everything he’s chosen for the shoot.

For you.

For the shoot.

“Yep, sounds good. Be out in a few,” you reply. He nods in acknowledgement before moving to set something up and you don’t stick around to find out, grabbing your bag and heading towards the door lined hall.

The guest room is modest and clean. White sheets and gray comforter with, surprisingly, two throw pillows to spruce it up. The walls are white too, but you’re pretty sure that’s because Jungkook’s not allowed to paint the apartment per his landlord's wishes—a thought that still makes you laugh.

He could buy any place he wanted, but chose to rent. ‘To get the real university experience,’ he explained when you asked him the first time you went over.

Black furniture accents the room. A comfortable looking leather chair sits in the corner by a glass door that leads to the balcony. It has a small table beside it. There’s a dresser with a mirror in the other corner and of course, in the center of the room, is the bed. It’s a nice room. However, the newest edition is what’s keeping your eye.

Four shirts hang from the rack at the foot of the bed. The first is vibrant and colourful, the second a light neutral short sleeved V neck, third is strapless and skin coloured, and the last is made from thin black fabric you assume will be skin tight by the looks of it.

As promised, they’re all labeled with a sticker.

You throw your bag on the bed and grab the colourful one first. Its sticker says ‘bright and bold,’ and you put it on after removing the shirt you came in, then zip it up. The material feels heavy, durable and expensive. You check the tag on the inside seam and see it’s from Ilkaya, one of the biggest and most expensive fashion designers on this side of the realm.

Your eyes bug out of your head, and you try not to breathe too hard for fear of ruining it. Your routine of thrifting all your clothes makes you pretty damn sure you can’t even imagine how much this cost.

It feels good though, comfortable, not itchy. Really freaking expensive.

You look at yourself in the mirror, and you have to admit you look amazing. It fits perfectly in all the right places, compliments your skin tone, and even brings out your eyes. Begrudgingly, you admit to yourself that maybe there’s some sense in what the price tag could be. But it would still be a ridiculous sum for a jacket.

With one last look in the mirror, you grab the palettes, brushes and other tools off the dresser, and leave your designated dressing room for the day in favour of returning to the living room.

Jungkook’s got music going from your shared playlist. Insisting on making one after your second shoot together, when he decided you both agreed to the arrangement becoming a regular thing. It’s a good mix of both of your musical tastes, even though you guys figured out quickly that you liked pretty similar stuff anyway.

“What do you think? Does it work?” You ask as you turn the corner.

Jungkook fiddles with this camera before looking and pausing for a moment to take you in. You hope you look okay, but the weird look he has on his face makes you backtrack a bit.

“Is this not the one you wanted? It had the label on it. But I can go back and double che- ”

“You look amazing,” is all he says, and your worry slides off you instantly. He smiles wide, the one you’ve come to recognize as genuine.

“Thanks. But the colour’s doing most of the work for me,” you say, smiling back shyly.

He has a white background set up, and two differently coloured gel’d lights sit on opposite one another, a third, smaller floor light faces the background. A backlight, he’d call it.

Bright and Bold indeed, though there is the matter of-

“What do you want me to do for my make up?”

“Actually,” he sets down his camera gently on a table, “Is it okay if I do it? I want it to be a little more on the amateur side and I don’t think your years of refined talent would let you get the exact look I want.”

That’s new. But you're here to stand and look however he wants you too, so you allow him with a nod.

“Sure, where do you want me to sit?”

“Here’s fine,” he says as he pulls a stool that was off to one side close to one of the windows. “As long as you don’t mind holding the make up. I don’t have a table to set them down on. Should’ve thought of that, sorry.”

You can tell he’s mentally scolding himself for forgetting something.

“No no, it’s fine,” you say, taking your seat, “I don’t mind, really.”

Placing the balls of your feet on the bar that holds the chair legs together, you make your lap even enough to set the palettes out, and use a hand to hold all the brushes.

Jungkook laughs, noticing your feet as you sit, “Cute socks.”

They’re light blue with a fox face on them, and little ears stick up from the elastic around the ankle.

“Thanks,” you laugh too, they’re your favourite pair. “I call them my fox socks. They’re lucky.”

“Let’s hope so. Wish me luck fox socks,” he calls to your toes, and you wiggle them in response.

He picks a brush and chooses a colour. “Close your eyes and let me know if I’m pressing too hard. If it isn’t obvious, I’ve never done this before.”

You close your eyes and whisper, “Will do.”

It's a uniquely intimate experience having your makeup done. Willingly letting someone get up close and personal with you, allowing them to see every potential scar, blemish and pore in the name of beauty and for the sake of creativity.

In this case, it’s also a little questionable considering where you feel the brush putting down colour: cheeks, lids, temple, nose. However, you’re simply a pawn in a well thought out plan, so you sit and wait for him to finish.

“Annnd done,” he says, making a final swipe with the brush on your cheek. “You look great! I didn’t hurt you, right?” he asks, showing you the makeup in a palettes mirror. Your face looks like it’s been attacked by a rainbow in the best way. You smile, taking the mirror from him and looking at all the little details.

For a first timer, Jungkook did a really good job.

“Nope, I’m good. How do you want me?”

Jungkook leads you to the backdrop, placing you in front.

“One second,” he says, grabbing a remote and clicking a button to lower the black out curtains on the windows, and then another that turns off the apartment lights. He also clicks on all the lights he’s set up and you’re quickly illuminated by a bright red and purple as well as the back light.

“I’m good to pose?” he asks.

“Yep.”

You love that he always asks first. It makes you feel safe and considered, consenting to every touch prior to its occurrence.

Jungkook instructs the first pose to have your hands on the sides of your face, making slight adjustments so that you don’t cover any of the makeup. And for the first time, his touches leave little sparks where they land.

You’re sure it’s just because of the lights or that the shirt is thick and makes you warm.

Or maybe you’re just nervous and need to get the first photo jitters out of your system.

Soon enough, the camera’s pointing at you and you smile the brightest you can. He’s given you the prompt of ‘you’re so excited and happy you can’t hold it in,’ and you work with it the best you can, taking the first few with the pose he gave before being given full reign.

It’s a decent way into the first shoot when Jungkook says, “Hmm…we’re not quite there yet, I need a bit more,” and follows up with, “How about ‘you’ve just been commissioned by the Modern Art Museum to have the leading showcase for next year’.”

You smile the biggest you think you ever have at the thought. Because that’s the dream, that is the biggest goal you could achieve. An entire gallery of your work as the primary exhibition in the Western Shores Modern Art Museum? You couldn’t go any higher. It’s every artist's dream.

“There you go! That’s it!” The camera’s capturing quickly as you imagine what it would be like to have your own showcase at the WS-MAM. Incredible is the first word that comes to mind, your work in the biggest museum on the continent? You can’t even imagine, but you want to.

One day, you promise yourself. You’ll do it one day.

“Okay,” Jungkook says, breaking your daydream, “Let me switch out the gels for new colours and go again. These are great so far though, you're doing amazing.”

You hold your hand out for a high five and he smacks it. “Go team!” you say, and he laughs.

An hour and a half, a makeup fix and three lighting changes later, the first shoot finishes. You collapse on the couch and rub the muscles on your thighs.

Jungkook plops down beside you, nose deep in the pictures he’s just taken, double checking everythings good.

“This is a fantastic start, I hope we can keep it up all day and finish before tomorrow.”

“Me too,” you say, and you mean it. Shoots with him are always fun, but inevitably tiring. “I’m gonna to grab a water, want one?”

“Yes please,” he replies without looking up.

In the kitchen, you open the fridge to grab the two bottles and notice a box, stamped with a coffee mug that has a greenhouse inside of it, on top. The greenhouse cafe’s logo.

“Can I ask what’s inside the cafe box?” you ask as you sit back on the couch and pass him a bottle.

“Ah, caught red handed,” he says, setting his camera on the table and taking a swig. “I may have asked Vivan earlier this week to make sure there was an overstock of tarts so I could grab them for you as a thank you for today.”

...Oh

That’s so sweet. He’s never gotten you a thank you gift before, especially not in the form of the most delicious pastry to ever exist. Maybe you should get him something for all the times he’s helped you with homework? A solstice gift maybe?

There’s heat forming in your chest and you really hope it’s not the beginning stages of heartburn. Maybe Jungkook has antacids.

“You didn’t have to do that, I’m happy to help.”

“So you don’t want them then?” his shit eating grin making a glorious comeback because he knows what your answer’s going to be.

“No! I want them. I most definitely want them.”

He chuckles and puts his water down.

“Okay Donatello, glad you accept. Let's move on to the next set up. There’s makeup remover and cotton pads in the room, and some moisturizer too if you need it.”

The next shoot is called ‘Regality,’ and it has you in the strapless shirt. You find out it’s quite a low cut when you put it on. There’s enough to cover you, but there’s definitely a lot of your chest showing. However, under the shirt on the hanger is a scarf to cover yourself with, which you think is very considerate.

“Makeup?” you ask as you come out again, scarf covering you.

“Neutral, but strong. Kind of like how my mother does,” the background is still white, but you have a hunch that it will remain white in this picture, unlike the last one. “This one is going to be black and white, so try to emphasize your natural beauty.”

You ignore that he essentially just said you're beautiful, surely he’s just being kind and professional. Making sure his model feels good about herself.

Right?

Right.

You put on a coat of mascara and go light on the shadow so it won't be too dramatic on film. You also use a shade of lipstick that adds just a tint to your lips and a blush that makes your eyes pop.

Jungkook has you sit on the stool from earlier and faces your body three quarters of the way towards the camera, but keeps your head turned in profile.

“Oh! Almost forgot, one second,” Jungkook jogs to his room, coming back with a palm sized velvet box. “I had my mother send these over for this shoot. She has better taste than me, so I let her pick them out.”

Your stomach plummets to the floor when he opens the box.

Inside are two dangling diamond earrings, and quite possibly the most beautiful things you’ve ever seen.

And now you’re terrified.

“Jungkook, I can't wear those. They look like they’re worth more than my house, my car and my tuition combined.”

He takes one out and places it in your hand for you to put in, it’s the length of your index finger. And all you can think about is the potential houses you’re holding as you look at it.

It’s a semi-rectangular earring, encrusted with four columns of diamonds that cascade down, each column longer than the previous. Like a sparkling waterfall you can attach to your ear.

“Don’t worry about it, mum said she never wears them anyway because they’re part of a set that the necklace was lost to years ago. Please,” his face is nothing but reassurance and small smiles, “You’re giving them a chance to live again.”

You couldn't say no to those eyes even if you wanted to.

So you reply, almost breathless and still against your better judgment, “Okay.”

Placing them in one after the other, they have a significant, understandable weight to them. You take a couple deep breaths so you don't freak out, and then you return to your previously designated pose, profile set, body facing the camera.

“Can I adjust?” Jungkook asks, after taking a step back and getting a wider view.

You nod gently, still terrified of the earrings.

He makes sure the earring is visible and untangled first, before a finger gently comes beneath your chin, and lifts it a bit higher.

The feeling they leave behind is all you can think about as you stare at your place on the wall, Jungkook snapping away. Not even the soft light illuminating your profile is enough to make you blink.

This shoot goes by quickly, and you’re relieved to get the earrings back safely inside their box.

“It’s like 2:45, wanna break for a late lunch?” Jungkook asks.

“Please, I’m starved,” you say, returning from the guest room after tossing on the sweater you brought. “What's on the menu?”

“Well, we have two options,” he says, looking very faux serious, “1. We order out from wherever you want and awkwardly wait for it to arrive because the next shoot is not one we can’t prep for, then eat, then shoot. Or 2. I make use of the ingredients I bought to make Bulgogi Kimchi Fried Rice and you get lunch and a show.”

You're shocked.

Jungkook…cooks? Oh this you absolutely must see.

“Hmm….” you say, pretending to really mull it over in the same ‘serious’ tone, “I’m thinking I’ll have to go with option two, Chef. But I’ll lend a hand where I can, no use in standing around doing nothing.”

“Every chef needs a sous.”

With both of you on task, lunch is getting made quickly. Jungkook has all the ingredients to make ‘my buddy’s famous family recipe,’ a man who you assume is a chef back at the palace. The island countertop is currently covered in them; onion, kimchi, marinated bulgogi, gochujang, cooked rice, eggs and more.

You’re surprised at how skilled Jungkook is in the kitchen. He’s cutting the ingredients like he’s been doing it his whole life and working the pan over the stove like the proper technique has been drilled into him since birth.

Thirty minutes pass, and after both of you shed a tear at the cut onions and evenly split the remaining tasks, you’re sitting on the couch about to take your first bite. It smells delicious. Your mouth is watering and you can’t wait to dig in, stomach painfully empty by this point.

Finally taking that first bite, you nearly die of euphoria.

“Ouhmahgaud,” you say, mouth half full. Jungkooks on the other side of the couch, trying not to cough out his own food from laughing at your reaction. His eyes are nearly shut with how wide he’s smiling.

“Good?” he asks after swallowing his food first, like a civilized person.

You’re vigorously nodding as you swallow your own helping in hopes you’re understood.

“You’re giving me this recipe. I need it. I don’t think I will survive if this is the only time I ever get to eat it.” Your bowl is almost half gone already. Thank god there’s leftovers, you will be having more.

Plus, you want to make it for your mom when you go home, she’ll love it.

“I’ll text it to you later, don’t worry.”

You’re very sure the look on your face conveys the gratitude you feel and the rest of the meal passes in a very comfortable and satisfied silence.

Twenty-ish minutes later, after letting your seconds settle for a couple minutes, Jungkook gets back to business.

“Next look is the most adventurous, it uses the facepaint. Are you okay with contacts?”

“I think so, never tried them before though. Just give me a few before we start so I don’t explode when I stand up.”

“All good,” he says, before quirking a lip and adding, “I really don’t feel like explaining why there’s kimchi and bits of you all over my walls to either of our parents, so take all the time you need.”

You laugh, firstly at the visual, then at the idea of Jungkook meeting your mother. That would be something you needed on record, paper and film.

After a minute, you get up, the guest room making your acquaintance once more.

“This one is called Enigmatic,” Jungkook calls.

“Got it!”

You take longer than normal to change, maybe eating before putting on the skin tight shirt wasn’t a great idea. But at least it was stretchy.

It has long sleeves, a high neck, and is a very dark midnight black. There’s a matching black scarf for this one too, and a safety pin attached to the corner.

“Okay, what's the plan for this one? I hear facepaint is involved,” you say, back for round three, scarf in hand.

The background of the set is black now, a close match to your shirt. Jungkook is by the smoke machine, currently set up on the stool and plugged into a nearby outlet.

You hold up the scarf, questioningly.

“That’s to go over your head after the paint, but let’s see if you can do contacts first, they’re in the washroom. Need help?”

“No, I'm good.”

You don’t succeed at first, but after a couple attempts you look in the mirror and see purple eyes staring back at you. You love them.

“I look like a badass,” you say, returning. The smoke machine’s been turned on and it’s created a completely different atmosphere. At your reemergence, Jungkook shuts it off and comes close to give you a look. You freeze a little at the eye contact, his browns meeting your currently violets for a prolonged moment.

“They look better than I’d hoped, this is going to be great.”

He reaches under the gels on the table for a piece of paper. It’s a makeup model face with the look he wants drawn on. “Are you able to do something like this?”

The diagram shows the cheeks, bottom half of the nose and down all the way to the neck as black, and the eyes and up as white, bleeding down into the black like smoke. You’re going to need eyeshadow for that part. If you did that with the face paint it would just become a gray mess.

“Yep, but it’s going to take some time to get it right.”

“That’s okay, I’ll use it to get the smoke machine properly set up.”

You use one of the palette mirrors and start with the white, covering the top of your face and making a good base layer for the eyeshadow. Then fill the bottom of your face and neck with the black. Carefully, so as to not make gray, you use a large brush to cover both sides with their respective eyeshadow shades, before blending them together like the reference. Your skin starts to feel like it’s on fire by the time you're satisfied and you check your phone for the time when you finally finish.

4:37pm.

Not bad. You put the scarf over your head and cover your ears with it, using the safety pin to hold it in place.

“Done.”

Jungkook takes one look at you and lights up.

“Have I ever mentioned how talented you are, and that you make my schoolwork so much more fun? Because I feel like I should again even if I already have.” Your cheeks heat, glad he’s excited you’re able to help. “How did you manage to make it look even better?”

“I do vaguely remember mentioning something about a deal with a semi-suspicious genie,” you joke. And both of you break out in giggle fits after a second, recalling the conversation from forever ago.

Running through the same steps of lighting, posing, and adjustments, Jungkook then flips on the smoke machine and lets it fill the room heavily before starting to take pictures.

You’re sitting on a small box this time, so that you’re slightly lower than the camera. Jungkook tells you to keep your hands at your sides and look up, just above the rim of the camera lens. It creates a very interesting look, and you're excited to see the results.

He has you do a couple more poses before allowing you to do your own thing once more, trying to think of what would look mysterious and enigmatic.

You try to let the music inspire you. This is a look you’ve never done before, so you’re finding it a bit difficult to get into it despite Jungkook's helpful prompts and suggestions. But you flow a bit better with it as time goes on and you become more comfortable.

An idea pops up out of nowhere and you have him do a close up from the middle of your chin to the middle of your forehead. You stare straight into the lens to really showcase the purple contacts and makeup.

“This’s the one for sure,” he says, taking a few more. “Great idea, why didn’t I think of a close up in the first place?” You know he's talking to himself at this point.

It’s close to 6:15pm when Jungkook decides he has enough pictures for this look. You don’t mind the longer shoot seeing as you set aside the day for this, and you can’t wait to see how these ones turn out in particular.

You’re halfway through getting the face paint off, a mountain of gray stained cotton pads beside you, when Jungkook turns the music down.

“Let’s do a light, early dinner and then shoot the last one?” he asks. “I kept this one at the end because it’s going to create the most mess and it’ll be nice to have dinner out of the way for when I have to clean up.”

“More mess than this?” you point to the cotton pad mountain.

“Much more.”

“Light, early dinner it is,” you confirm, not wanting to have to wait till late to eat. “But can we order out so I have time to get the rest of this off?”

“Sure, what’ll it be?”

Clean faced, moisturized and ramyeon filled, you and Jungkook are preparing for the last shoot. Or well, lightly arguing.

“Water?”

“Mhm.”

“On me?”

“Yep.”

“From that thing,” you point to the contraption he calls a c-stand that will be holding the very full, very large watering can over your head for an extended amount of time, “And into there?” you point again to the kitty pool on top of the tarp that’s underneath the watering can c-stand.

“That is the plan,” he looks amused at your slight distress.

“Are you nuts? What if it falls on me? How do I know it won’t unhinge and I’ll have a nicely cracked open skull to explain to my mother on Solstice break?”

“It won’t fall and you know it won't because you trust me and trust I wouldn’t put you in unnecessary danger. But if it does, tell your mom I say hi and sorry.”

You scoff at him, unbelievable. “So you admit there’s a bit of danger!”

Jungkook sighs, and looks to the ceiling. “Yes, YN. There is a touch of danger. But that’s only if, somehow, the c-stand I have triple safety checked, duct taped twice, and quadruple secured with four fifteen pound sandbags, decides that you deserve a watering can to the head.”

You side eye his tone. This wasn’t an unrealistic worry. But you do trust him. And trust he would never intentionally put you in any danger.

The trees are set up near the backdrop that looks like a row of brick houses. The shot is supposed to be ‘The Calm after Before the Storm,’ where you look relieved and happy in an ‘outside’ setting while ‘rain’ falls over you, also in black and white.

“Fine, but if I hear one peep from that thing,” c-stand staring down the tip of your finger once more, “I’m tuck and rolling and taking you out while I do it.”

“Very fair!” he says relieved, and goes to set up the stand with the watering can.

You’d changed into the neutral V neck after dinner, and he’s asked for no makeup. So all you have to do now is stand and pose while trying not to die from foreign objects falling from the sky while you get wet.

Easy, right?

Wrong.

It is incredibly difficult, and you’re glad he made this one last because you’re at best; slightly miserable. Only the promise of a hot shower, hot chocolate with whip cream and marshmallows and your pick of whatever you watch afterward is keeping you going.

You started this one just shy of 8pm after waiting 45 minutes for the food. And it’s nearing 9:30 now. Jungkook has had to refill the watering can four times, dump the kiddie pool twice, and you swear if you don’t finish within the next twenty minutes, you’re going to collapse from shivering.

To be fair, he does fill the watering can with warm water, but it only stays warm for so long before freezing water is pouring on you for the millionth time tonight.

“I have one last idea, and by the way, I’m never doing this concept again so don’t worry about that, but also… don’t shut down the idea immediately okay?” Jungkook says.

The watering can is almost empty again and you’re relieved that your time is almost up. That in itself should make for a good picture. He snaps it.

But his tone makes you a little wary, “Okay… what is it?”

“Pretend I’m Nel and you’re seeing me for the first time in six months, like you do at the end of April.”

Well, you didn’t have that down on your photo shoot prompt bingo card.

Are you okay with the idea? You aren’t sure, but aren’t not sure either.

“I mean, I’ll try. Maybe you could give vocal cues to try and help? But don’t make it weird.”

“I won’t, promise,” Jungkook pauses for a second before adding, “Does he call you baby?”

You nod, and you distantly hear and ‘okay’ as you slowly allow yourself to get into that headspace.

You start, and the camera starts going.

You’re in the airport, waiting for Nel, ‘smoosh’ paper in hand. The gate opens, and through all the other passengers you see him, see that he’s in one piece, see that he’s safe.

Your face illuminates with relief at that so much so that you don’t even notice the water that starts running down your face.

You hear a ‘hi baby’ and in your head, it’s coming from Nel’s mouth as he nears you. You smile impossibly wider at the thought of seeing him, feeling him. Having him here with you.

You look happy to see me, ‘Nel’ says.

“I am,” you reply.

There’s repetitive clicking in the distance, but you ignore it. It’s probably just a flight attendant's heels on the floor.

“I missed you.”

There’s a long moment of silence before Nel speaks again.

I missed you too, baby.

You’re shivering hard now, lost in thought, unaware of reality.

YN, Nel calls.

“Yes, love?”

“YN.”

“Babe, what is it?”

“YN, hey,” you're being shaken gently.

“Hmm? What?” you slowly arrive back to the present. Strong hands grip your shoulders. They feel nice. Solid. Deliciously warm.

A very concerned looking Jungkook comes into focus, camera dangling around his neck and reaching for you.

Oh.

He’s the one holding your shoulders, trying to get you to come back to reality.

“There she is, welcome back,” he lets go and grabs a blanket from somewhere and wraps it around you. “We got the shot, go take a shower and warm up okay?”

“Okay,” you say, still a little dazed, but present enough to function.

You step out of the pool, holding on to the hand Jungkook offers to balance—Warm. Solid. Strong—and head straight for the bathroom, making a pit stop in the guest room to grab your bag with fresh clothes.

The hot water cements your place back in reality, letting it warm you up and cleanse you of the day.

You have no idea what just happened with that whole Nel thing, but it was a new feeling and a new headspace and you really aren’t in the mood to analyze or acknowledge, so it’s shoved onto a top shelf in the back of your mind for a later date.

Once you're able to return to the directory of your mind, you don’t know how long you’ve been in the shower. But you know you’re clean, no longer cold, and in the mood for hot chocolate, so you step out and dry yourself with the towels Jungkook laid out for you on the toilet seat.

They’re soft. So soft in fact you consider only for a second shoving one in your now less full bag to take home with you. However, you do rather enjoy your friendship with the prince, so you think better of it upon second thought.

Dressing in your sweats, you exit, tossing the towels in the hamper and your bag of the clothes you arrived in back into the spare room.

“Better?” Jungkook asks as you sit down in your spot on the couch for the last time tonight, wrapping up in the blanket he left for you. He’s in the kitchen but heard you coming.

“Much, thanks,” you sniff, “Is that hot chocolate I smell?”

Jungkook returns from the kitchen, two mugs in hand. “With extra whip cream and marshmallows, as ordered.”

You carefully take it from him, giving your thanks and happily slurping away the second it’s in your grasp.

“Alright Caravaggio, what are we watching?” he asks, sitting down on his side, sipping away on his own.

Sometime between you leaving for the shower and coming back out Jungkook changed into his own comfy attire, and tidied up the studio space as the pool and tarp are nowhere to be seen.

“I’ve thought really hard about this, all of however long I was in the shower,” Jungkook mutters something about 35 minutes; you ignore him, “And have settled on ‘A Miser Brothers Solstice’.”

He whines just a little when he says, “But it’s November.”

“So?”

“So, Solstice isn’t until the third week of December,” he’s saying this like his point is the most obvious thing in the world.

It’s not.

“Your point?”

“That it’s November, and you want to watch a Solstice movie.”

You’re mockingly outraged.

“Who made you town grinch? I didn’t realize we had a holiday hater in our midst.”

You loved the holidays, all the big ones, and the small ones, but Solstice was special.

“I’m not a grinch, I’m just not there yet, mentally.”

“Then get ready to dive in head first, because you said I could pick the movie for risking my life for you and I pick ‘A Miser Brothers Solstice’.”

Jungkook doesn’t argue further, but he does roll his eyes as he puts on your movie with a small smile hidden behind his drink.

It’s sometime during the first act, you’re lying back against your corner of the couch, feet up and under the blanket when you ask, “What are your solstice break plans?”

Jungkook takes a moment to part from the TV, very invested for someone who was so against it half an hour ago. “I have a lot of ‘princely duties’ to do for Solstice, like standing and looking thoughtful while my dad gives his annual Solstice speech,” you snort. “Then there’s the palace dinner, the parade through the capital, and the live televised event,” he says in a tv announcer's voice, “Where my family and I light the Solstice Star. And then there’s the new year and that in itself has another long list of things I have to do. Besides things like that though? Not much, and then it’s back here.”

Right.

You often forget who he is.

That behind those kind eyes, and small smiles, behind the greenhouse study dates, and movie nights, and photoshoots, Jungkook has an enormous responsibility constantly looming over his head, counting down the days until he finishes his schooling. One that’s just waiting to drop onto his shoulders forever.

You often forget that Jungkook is the Prince, first in line to the biggest throne in the realm. That you spend your time with not only Jeon Jungkook, friend and photography student, but also, His Royal Highness, Prince Jeon Jungkook, Heir Apparent and Future King of The Western Shores.

He just makes it so damn easy to forget.

You only asked because you thought maybe he had plans with friends or family, completely forgetting about all of the things the royal family does during the holiday season to celebrate with the nation, their people, and now you feel like an ass for even bringing it up.

But there’s something in his answer, or lack thereof, that snags your attention.

“What about celebrating with your family and friends in private?”

“No time,” Jungkook’s stare goes distant as he brings his knees up and puts his arms around them, resting his chin. “Friends are always busy with palace preparations and dad’s not really the sentimental type. We celebrated when I was younger; big family breakfast, presents, tree decorating, whole thing. But after I turned about 13 or so, it started dwindling pretty quickly. Now it’s just me and my mom exchanging a gift with each other at midnight under the palace tree.”

You don’t think you’ve ever heard something so heartbreaking yet beautiful in your life.

“Your mum sounds wonderful, I’m really happy you two get that time together.”

He looks at you, and you can tell by the look in his eyes he loves that time with her more than anything else.

Solstice is supposed to be the time you spend with your family, blood or chosen. The time where you all gather to cook and bake, and exchange thoughtful gifts with the ones you love. The time where you truly cherish one another and count yourself lucky for all that you have.

Solstice is your favourite time of the year.

To not spend it like that just seems…wrong. Horribly, painfully, awfully wrong.

“What about you?” he asks.

You don’t want to make him feel bad, so you tone down your answer, taking away the meat and giving the bones.

“My mum and I cut down our own tree and decorate it with the ornaments we’ve collected over the years,” you have them from every place you’ve ever visited, and your mum kept all the ones you ever made as a kid. You even get a new one every solstice to take a picture for and label with the year.

“Then we bake solstice cookies until our hands cramp and survive off only them until solstice dinner; a turkey, honey glazed carrots, mashed potatoes with gravy, essentially if it waters your mouth, it’s there,” he chuckles at that. “We do gifts for each other too, opening them on solstice morning before making hot drinks and reading in the breakfast nook until the sun sets or till we get hungry, whichever comes first.”

Jungkook's eyes glow, radiating warmth, a lazy smile on his face as he listens to you.

“That sounds really nice, YN.”

“It is,” you reply, looking him in those radiant eyes as you do. He looks… happy. Happy for you, that you get to have something like this that’s so special. It breaks your heart a little…maybe you can help.

“You wanna make some solstice cookies with me before break?”

His look of happy shifts to one of slight panic.

“What?” you question, and comically ask, “Have you never made solstice cookies before?”

He hesitates before answering a very quiet, “Uh…N-no.”

Your shock must be incredibly evident in the way he almost flinches at your reaction.

So you try your best to keep your voice level when you ask, “What do you mean, no?”

“I mean no. I’ve never made solstice cookies.”

That’s it. You can’t hold back any more, you’ve never heard anything so blasphemous in all your life.

“You’ve never what? How is that even possible?”

He shrinks into himself a little more.

“The palace pastry chef always makes them because that’s kind of his job,” you stare at him in disbelief. “Is this really that big a deal?”

You swear there’s cog’s and smoke flying out of your ears. Solstice cookies are a religion in your household. You know dozens of recipes by heart, always finding a new one each year to try and up your game. You cannot imagine a solstice without making them. Wait no, actually you can, but it would be because you’re dead.

You held back in your answer earlier, for his sake, but you and your mom’s hands cramp up because you make enough cookies to give a box to everyone in the neighborhood. It’s one of your favourite traditions, and your neighbours even look forward to it every year, going so far as sending you both recipes to try out.

“Big dea—you’ve never fucking mad—not even when you were little? No one brought you to the kitchen and let you help? Aren't all your friends back home the pastry chefs' kids or something?” You don’t mean to sound harsh, but your tone is a little more passionate than you were intending.

But Jungkook knows you, knows you occasionally get that passionate about things, and takes your outburst in stride.

“Yeah, one of them is, but we don't sit around the oven and make cookies all break long. And his dad is always too busy to teach us even if we wanted to.”

You decide something. Right then and there.

“This year you are.”

“What?”

“Mark your last Saturday off because I'm going to show up here, ingredients-a-plenty and teach you how to make solstice cookies. I have a million recipes up here,” you tap your head with a finger, “But I'll choose the easiest ones. And I’ll come over early so we can spend the day making all of them. I can’t in good conscience leave for the break knowing you’ve never made them.”

He sighs. “Do I have any say in the matter?”

“Absolutely not.”

Jungkook stares at you and you can’t figure out what he’s thinking. You’re worried he’s going to say no anyway. To say you’re crazy and that they’re just cookies and that he has more important things he has to do on his Saturday before leaving for home.

But he doesn’t. And you should’ve known he wouldn’t, not after all the time you’ve spent together.

You know better. Know him better.

“Alright Picasso. Sounds like a plan. I’m looking forward to it,” he decides, and goes back to watching the movie.

It’s the first time he’s ever repeated a nickname.

“Wait! The wind guy wants to replace who?!” Jungkook shouts.

You laugh at his confusion, and rewind the movie.

Jungkook wakes up sore.

His back is killing him, which makes sense since he’s half lying on the couch, half on the ground.

The TV’s silently playing some slideshow of movie recommendations based on recent watches.

He checks his phone, reaching for it on the coffee tale.

14% battery.

4:07am.

Shit, he fell asleep.

After the solstice movie he wanted to watch its predecessor. You had no qualms and so on it went, but he doesn’t remember much after the brothers started fighting.

Hearing soft, even breathing next to him he turns to see you, hunched over in your spot asleep, no doubt in the process of ruining your own back.

He should go to bed.

You should go to bed.

But you’ve never stayed the night.

What should he do? Should he wake you?

But you look so peaceful. And it’s nearing exams. You barely sleep when it’s exams season.

Instead, Jungkook goes to check the guest room, but it’s a mess with yesterday's comings and goings. Make-up and clothes and hangers strewn everywhere.

Quietly, making a decision he hopes you won’t kill him for in the morning, he pads back to your sleeping form.

It’s for your back, he tells himself. No other reason.

Deja vu sets in as he scoops you up from the couch, blanket and all. Just like last time, you gain enough consciousness to know to wrap your arms around his neck, but not enough to wake up. Your head rests on his shoulder and he selfishly savours the feeling as he walks down the short hallway to his room.

Jungkook sets you down gently on one side of the bed, and your arms release, slumber undisturbed as he tucks you in.

He goes back to the living room to retrieve your phones. Yours is still at 56%, and he places it on the table beside you when he returns.

Climbing into his side of the bed, he’s careful not to touch you.

Though he wants to.

Desperately.

His sleep deprived brain is too slow to block out the thoughts that start to race. Thoughts of how he wants to turn around and pull you into his chest, slide an arm around your waist, and kiss you goodnight. How he wants to wake up in the same position, you still in his arms.

But he’s also awake enough to know that will never happen. That you’re with Nel, and happy with him. That he’s drawn that nice, big line.

He’s awake enough to know you being in his bed is a fluke, unintentional.

A one time thing.

Plugging his phone into its charger, he sets it down on his own bedside table and pulls the covers up, falling back asleep.

His back facing you.

An exhale wakes you.

Warm and cozy, you take a deep breath and roll to your left side, stretching on the way over. The scents of clean linen and something familiar find you. It’s comforting, that smell, but you can’t place it.

Another exhale, but this time you feel it as well as hear it.

You open your eyes to see a sleeping Jungkook face not a foot from your own and you jolt in shock, falling off the bed in the process.

You look up from your new seat on the floor, ignoring the pain in your side from landing, and peer over the covers to check on Jungkook, who, miraculously, hasn’t woken up from your tumble.

Relieved, your mind focuses on more pressing questions like ‘how did you get here?’ And ‘why were you in his bed?’

The last thing you remember was being halfway through the prequel to A Miser Brothers Solstice on the couch, watching Jungkook more than the movie because of how invested he’d become in the story.

But you aren’t on the couch now. You were in his bed.

The bed of the Prince of the Western Shores.

The Prince who has a girlfriend, and you, who has a very long term, very serious boyfriend.

You hear a vibration, and following the sound, you find your phone on the bedside table.

You quickly grab it quickly and go to the living room as quietly as you can manage.

There’s a large number of unread texts.

SlurryYuri [11:08pm]: hey, just checking in. You didn’t get home when you said you’d try for SlurryYuri [11:31pm]: Helloooooooo? YN? You there? SlurryYuri [12:14am]: it’s getting late YN, when are you coming home? Are you on your way?

Missed Calls: (3)

SlurryYuri [2:43am]: it’s been hours, so you better be dead or have crashed in the school somewhere. Either way I’m kicking your ass when you get home

Missed Calls: (2)

(Recent)

SlurryYuri [9:36am]: you’re still not home?? YN seriously, where are you SlurryYuri [10:23am]: If you don’t message me back in an hour I’m calling the police and filing a missing persons

Shit.

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. You crashed hard, the shoot must have taken more out of you than you thought, so you never texted Yuri you were going to crash in a sleep pod at school like you’d planned too.

You make quick work of messaging her back, glad she unintentionally gave you just the excuse you needed.

YN [10:25am]: ohmygod I’m soooooo sorry, it was the school one. I fell asleep in the school. I’m sorry for worrying you. I’ll be home soon, promise. I’m just going to grab breakfast first. Again im sorry

SlurryYuri [10:27am]: thank the gods youre okay!! Don’t ever do that to me again YN! I don’t wanna be the one who has to break news to your mom!! She’s too nice. SlurryYuri [10:27am]: and take your time getting back if your rushing for me, I’m not at the dorm SlurryYuri [10:27am]: Tai showed up yesterday out of the blue and took me dancing. We’re out getting brunch right now, and he has plans for the rest of the day SlurryYuri [10:28am]: Im just glad you’re not dead in a ditch somewhere

YN [10:29am]: me too, and okay I will. Thanks for checking up on me and making sure im safe, youre my favourite

SlurryYuri [10:30am]: damn right I am, see you tn <3

YN [10:30am]: see you <3

You exhale deeply, that was fucking close.

Your stomach rumbles and it reminds you that you actually need to get breakfast.

What could you have? You could order in again, but that means a wait time and you are hungry now. You could raid Jungkook's pantry, or see if he has any fruit, but then you think that’s a gross invasion of privacy when it’s not movie night and you haven’t asked if it’s okay.

Wait.

The egg tarts!

You dash to the fridge, the marvellous sight of a greenhouse inside a coffee mug comes into view. Stuffing one down before you even get the box from the fridge, you exit the kitchen, sit down on the couch, setting the box on the coffee table. Once opened in front of you, you realize there is a healthy amount of tarts inside.

How many did Jungkook ask for?

Speaking of, a bed-headed, yawning Jungkook makes his morning debut, still in last night's clothes.

“Hey,” he says groggily, walking over and stealing a tart.

“Hey!” you say back, not nearly as friendly.

“Overnight tax, Picasso. Room isn’t free.” He chuckles at your faux outrage, popping half the tart in his mouth as he walks to the kitchen and grabs something from the fridge. Returning, you see it’s a morning protein shake.

Gross.

“So is that name the one you’re sticking to now?” you ask, picking up another tart. At this rate they won’t last until lunch.

“Yeah, that okay with you? It’s your name in my phone after all.”

“It is?” You didn’t know that.

“Yeah, has been since the start.”

You’re quickly learning that sleepy morning Jungkook is very different from morning post work-out Jungkook, friend Jungkook and photographer Jungkook. His voice is deeper, he’s a lot more relaxed, and maybe even harmlessly borderline flirty, like he’s not all there yet. Softer.

“Picasso’s just fine. A compliment really.”

“Oh? And what am I in your’s then? Hopefully something just as nice?”

You tell him like it is.

“PJK.”

“PJK?” he asks, incredulous.

“Yeah? It’s obscure enough to not be recognizable if someone were to see it, but enough for me to know who it is.”

“Nah, you need something better, PJK is boring.”

“It’s your initials.”

“And boring,” he’s really not letting up on this.

“Well...what would you save yourself as?”

He mulls it over for a minute before deflating. “Okay, fair point, but I seriously want a new one. Something that can rival Picasso.”

“Do you have any nicknames? Something not completely obvious?”

For a morning person, Jungkook sure is taking his time. Maybe he was only a morning person before 8am, and then if he got up anytime after that he became a normal person who despised mornings like everyone else.

“Uhh…Vivian calls me JK, but that’s essentially the same thing as PJK. My buddies back home sometimes call me Kook, but I don’t think that works either. My mum has one for me that I will not disclose to anyone so long as I am breathing. So I guess not.”

A lightbulb dings over your head. “What about your security? Don’t they have special code names for you when they detail you? Like bear or eagle?”

“Yeah, but it’s not nearly as badass as either of those.”

“Fess up,” you say. Now you have to know.

“Hare.”

“Hare?” Now it’s your turn to be incredulous. “Like a rabbit?”

“Yep.”

An idea pops into your head and an evil grin spreads across your face, one you know is already setting worry into Jungkook’s still awakening brain as you change his name.

“I don’t like that look,” he confirms. “What’d you change it to?”

You flip your phone around and hold it up to him.

“Bunny?” he says incredulously once again.

“Yes.”

“I give you Picasso, one of the greatest painters of all time, and you think giving me bunny is anywhere near on par with that?”

Teasing him is far too fun, especially when he makes it this easy for you.

“Oh absolutely. In fact, I think it’s the best name I could possibly set it as.”

Jungkook disagrees, vehemently. “No, change it back. PJK is fine.”

“Too late. You dug your grave, now lie in it.”

Jungkook brings a hand to his face, pinching the crease between his brows and takes a very long, deep breath, exhaling just as dramatically.

You take that as your victory. But you’re sorely mistaken.

He launches at you, reaching for your phone and you scream, reaching your arm to keep it away from him. You have a fox socked foot on his chest to try and keep him back. His right arm is holding him up near your hip on the couches edge and he’s reaching with his left as far as he can without breaking his sternum on your heel.

“Give it!”

“Never!”

You try to bring up your other foot to push him away, but Jungkook is strong, and forces both it and the one on his chest down with the arm that was supporting him, temporarily keeping himself up with his left hand on the back of the couch.

With your legs out of the way he can almost reach his phone. But in his distracted state, misses the couch when he goes to put his supporting arm down again, and flips onto the ground, taking you with him. You scream, but his arms wrap around you as he makes sure to take the brunt of the impact, landing on his back, you safely secured to his chest.

There’s a moment of pure stunned silence, you resting your forhead on his chest while you process, him not letting go of your waist as he gets a breath into his winded self, before you’re both laughing as you take in what happened.

“You okay?” he asks.

“Yeah, you?”

He takes a second to respond. “I’m great.”

You push to sit up, and he releases you from his hold, but that was a mistake. Because now you’re sitting on his lap.

It takes an entire three seconds of you staring at him and him staring right back before you jump and scramble off him as fast as you can.

“Sorry.” you say in unison, you standing and him from the ground. It’s a painfully awkward 8 seconds before you break, cackling at the whole situation, and he joins in with you again.

Jungkook brushes off his pants as he gets up too. “Got any plans before tonight,” he asks, business as usual.

“Nope, cleared my schedule in case this went long, I’ve got the whole day.”

You swear his smile grows two sizes.

“Well in that case,” he looks to the TV, then back to you, “Wanna start movie night early?”

An entire day to relax and chill out before the hell that is exams season takes your every free second?

Yes please.

“Solstice movie marathon?” you propose slyly, near devious.

“I’ll get the popcorn,” he confirms, already halfway to the kitchen.

You spend the day like that, on the couch watching movie after movie, both pretending the little incident never even happened.

But you make sure to go home after movie night this time.

Chapter Nine: TBR

A/N 2: This chapter kicked my ass but it's here and I couldn't be more thrilled. I really like how it's ended so I hope you guys do too.

A/N 3: As always, Thank you for reading, loves. Xoxo - Yoon <3

<- Back

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pippin-katz · 7 months ago

Text

The Awardist - Nicholas Galitzine & Taylor Zakhar Perez

I have to write down the best bits and record my thoughts while listening to this because I am completely losing my mind over what is our first real interview with the boys that was recorded in real time.

27:55 - right off the bat we got a great inside joke/reference from the host that had me cackle

28:19 - taylor being happy to see their faces and nicholas immediately shutting him down like "well i'm not happy to see taylor's face"

28:40 - taylor joking about putting a post-in note over nick's face lmfao

29:30 - the way they don't want to talk over each other, it's giving alex's bedroom flashbacks

29:40 - nick being like "oh! oh, it's good!" when dipping into the online response when the movie released lmfao 😆

30:33 - the silence following the social media question where they were apparently nodding followed by taylor saying they were texting each other like "mate" "mate" back and forth

31:20 - THEY TALKED ABOUT THE SIGNING WARS

31:44 - nicholas calling taylor "this little fucker" had me dying cause me and @meraki-yao were literally referring to him as that in our conversation on ig yesterday

32:00 - nicholas genuinely asking taylor "what possessed you to do this?"; it's giving storage closet in the children's hospital vibes when henry's like "why do you dislike me?"

33:04 - "take it nick" immediately upon being asked the dense question regarding fans reacting to their portrayals of henry and alex, and the way that nicholas laughs and stutters makes me think that taylor totally did that on purpose to mess with him lmfao

34:00 - taylor stopping to talk to fans regardless of where he is or where he's going and specfically mentioning how meaningful it was that people have said *TW* they were contemplating suicide when they read the book/watched the movie and that it helped them 🥺

35:40 - the host referred to the film as "a coming out story", which i don't really agree with as a label because the coming out portion is an added piece of their relationship as two public figures, but their love is the actual story

36:40 - nicholas referring to the film as "wholesome and funny" made me smile so much because it truly is wholesome

37:18 - not the host making the "top to bottom" joke 😭

37:58 - nicholas and taylor have talked about their friendship with each other and how they instantly clicked; nick knew within a few minutes of rehearsal that taylor was "his buddy" 🥺

38:41 - catch me squaring up with everyone who has made nicholas self conscious and self deprecating about doing so much intimacy work on the screen that he refers to it as "basically his thing" like that's all he's recognized for; i am so ready to punch some motherfuckers 😡

39:10 - "it's so fun now, seeing my mate at all these awards and stuff"; catch me fucking crying

39:24 - not taylor misremembering the "nicholas or joey" question as "who was the better kisser"; he totally combined the "is nicholas a good kisser" question with the "who has your heart tonight" question

40:05 - taylor talking about matthew's background in theatre and how they got to actually rehearse with each other; i will never stop being insanely grateful that matthew is a theatre guy

40:55 - the way i said "oh my god" out loud because i was so excited by the question

41:14 - improvised the "physicality" of the store room; i.e. they just fell on top of each other and clamored around 😂

41:32 - the way i literally gasped so hard that i started coughing when nicholas called taylor "tay", i am not even fucking joking, that was so fucking cute 😭

43:42 - fucking wheezed upon realizing where the question going

44:02 - the knowing way taylor was like "i will take this one" lmfao

45:10 - not me going so red from second hand embarrassment 🫣

45:44 - taylor bringing the jockstrap that nicholas wears in bottoms, and nicholas immediately adding "i won't even go into mary & george" 😂

47:51 - taylor finishing nicholas' sentence about matthew's direction for the cake scene; sharing a braincell lol

48:36 - taylor's dog passed away the night of the first day of filming like wow, that fucking sucks 🥺😭

49:05 - "everyone's looking at me with these sad eyes" made me so sad but then taylor said "do you want some tea?" in a terrible british accent lmfao

49:50 - nicholas complimenting and boosting taylor's performance while having such a hard time emotionally 🥺

50:49 - taylor bringing up running through the museum; i can hear the smile in his voice while talking about it 😭

51:28 - they filmed the kensington palace fight and the red room the week after nicholas got covid

52:40 - oh my god, the way you can hear nick grinning as he throws taylor under the bus for the sequel question 😂

53:30 - taylor wants a second book to base the sequel off of

54:03 - taylor used they/them pronouns for casey!! see? he knows, it was totally nerves

55:20 - it felt like it was over too soon, i desperately need more of them PLEASE 😭

This is the greatest thing that's happened in like, a month for me lmfao I am literally begging for more people to interview the boys about RWRB, I am so fucking desperate for more content of the two of them together. They are everything to me 🥺

Thanks for reading!! If you enjoyed this essay & would like to support me, you can give me a tip on my Ko-Fi! ☺️

#red white and royal blue #rwrb #rwrb movie #matthew lópez #rwrb book #casey mcquiston #rwrb interview #alex claremont-diaz #taylor zakhar perez #henry hanover-stuart fox #henry fox mountchristen-windsor #nicholas galitzine #firstprince #spotify #the awardist

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sturniolo04 · 23 days ago

Text

Protective C.S.

Protective!Dad!Husband!Chris x Wife!Mom!Fem!Reader

TW: Sexual Assault/ Rape mentioned

Dividers: @bernardsbendystraws

Chris for as long as you can remember has always been extremely protective over your guys' children, especially your guys' teenage daughter. Sometimes you worry about the day when someone or anyone crosses or messes with your daughter because chirs has stated that he would go to jail if someone did his daughter wrong.

"dad its only a halloween party i'll be fine"

your 18 year old daughter explains to chris as she is putting her final touches of makeup seeing she is sitting in you and chris' shared master bedroom.

"taylor their will be boys there and everything and you know boys only have one thing on their mind and that is s-"

chris huffs out to your daughter standing in the doorway of your shared room.

"okay dad i will be fine mom tell him"

you daughter exclaims turning to face you sitting on the bed as you shrug your shoulder non verbally saying there is nothing she can do about it because it is how chris is.

" yeah dad taylor will be fine you know until she sneaks off into one the guest rooms with brody and starts getting it on"

your brother states annoying your daughter

"mason no we will not jesus god get out"

you daughter screams out at her 10 year old brother throwing a pillow at him.

"dad me and brody dont even really make out"

your daughter says rolling her eyes as she puts her shoes on hugging you.

" just make sure you call me if anything goes wrong I mean anything I mean it taylor"

chris exclaims as she leave a kiss on his cheek before grabbing her keys to head to the party.

"dadd i promise"

"hey taylor"

her best friend greets her hugging her.

"hey you look amazing"

she exclaims admiring her costume pulling away from the hug as her boyfriend, brody hugs her from behind startling her.

"ahhh brody"

taylor screams placing her hands on top of his forearms that are gripped around her waist as he spins her around.

" BOO"

he chuckles placing a sweet kiss to her temple after placing her back on her feet.

"you scared me you idiot"

Taylor exclaims turning around to face him smacking his shoulder playfully as he chuckles leaning his forehead on yours.

"babe i dont know something just doesnt feel right"

chris mutters out as you and him are laying on the couch with his head in your lap in the living room watching whatever movie you guys chose.

"chris baby she's fine okay she's probably with her friends"

you reassure your husband combing your fingers through his hair.

"i know baby i know but something about brody doesn't set right with me I don't know what it is but he's seems off"

chris mutters out some more.

"Chris seriously taylor has been dating brody for months now and you think he's not good for you daughter"

you chuckle out looking down at him.

"baby i know but i dont think anyone will be good for my daughter she is my daughter"

chris huffs out putting his hands on his face in frustration.

"baby shes fine i will text her righ-"

you trail off in your reply as taylor comes bursting through the front door with tears streaming down her cheeks and what appeared to be bruises on her legs and subtly on her wrists.

"taylor"

chris questions sitting up from your lap as he comes over to his daughter bringing her over to the couch.

"does that hurt"

chris asks his daughter sitting her down on the couch confused because he didn't quite see the bruises littered under the t-shirt she was wearing which wasn't one she left in.

"mom"

taylor sobs out as you wrap her arms aroundher bring her head into your chest cradling it as chris kneels in front of her.

"what happend tay"

you ask your daughter as she continues to sob into your chest.

"babygirl did someone do something"

chris asks her clenching his jaw as taylor slowly sits up wincing a from the bruises on her thighs.

"bro brody"

she stutters out as chris shifts his sharp aggressive eye contact with you, you taking note of the rage and anger brewing on his face.

"what did he do taylor"

chris' asks her again.

"he took advantage of me"

she trails off looking up into chris' eyes letting out a shaky breath. As Chris' face morphs into a confused look.

"he raped me daddy-"

she sobs out

"he did what"

chris says through gritted teeth

"in-in the guest room an- i told him to stop he didnt'

taylor sobs out as chris stands up and starts pacing.

"chris"

you breathe out knowing he might pop off at any given time.

The doorbell rings. uh oh

"i suggest you go home before I do something I will regret"

chris seethes after opening the front door to be confronted with brody.

"her friend told me to bring this to her she found it under the guest room bed"

he responds bluntly with a smirk on his face a he hands over taylor's costume. Chris grabs him by his collar pushing him against the wall.

"CHRIS"

you shout as you and taylor stand up front the couch as mason runs in the living room hearing the commotion.

"DAD"

"mason come here"

you exclaim reaching your hand out pulling him into your arms along with taylor.

"you listen here you little sick bastard, you crossed the fucking line"

chris growls out going into full protective mode.

"she wanted it isnt that right taylor"

he smirks out.

"shut the fuck up dont you speak to her don't even fucking look at her"

chris shouts out moving his hands to his neck slowly tightening his grip closing off his airways.

"DAD stop"

taylor shouts genuinely scared as she runs over and places her hand on one of her dad's wrists.

"stop stop please"

taylor sobs out as chris slowly releases his grip from brody's neck as he lets out a rough exhale as he slowly steps away from him.

taylor stifles out a sob looking into brodys eyes as her body floods with anger and hurt landing a slap across his face

" I never want to see you again"

she seethes out as he holds his cheek from the blow.

"thats my girl"

chris mutters out.

"whatever"

brody cockily states walking out the front door as she shuts it behind her. As Taylor lets out a shaky breath and begins sobbing again.

"its okay i got you"

chris mumbles into his daughter's hair cradling her head in his chest.

About couple months later everything returned back to normal and that at least settled your nerves and at least you know now chris will and would do anything for his daughter.

Taglist

@mintsturniolo @dirtylittleheart333 @stayingstromboli @wh0resstuff @spicymuffins03

#sturniolo imagine #chris x reader #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo triplets x reader #matt sturniolo x you #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #girlypopsquad🩵#sturniolo triplets

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thatmexisaurusrex · 5 months ago

Text

I wanted to collect the entirety of the Denial-Verse thus far, my canon compliant fics following Tommy and Buck’s love story throughout the show. It's a character study in loneliness, belonging, what it means to be and feel loved, and what steps it takes to finally believe one can have happiness. And while it will be coming back for Season 8 and will probably have a few short stories here and there before Season 8 begins, I wanted to highlight all four of the current fics within the series.

caught in this denial (tell me the day, I’ll say no more)

| Rated: M | WC: 35K | Chapters: 7 |

Summary: Tommy Kinard's life changes for the better when his old friend Chimney calls him out of the blue for help on a rescue and he meets the adorably awkward Evan "Buck" Buckley.

Excerpt:

Was this man looking down to see the hand or – no. No. Tommy knew it couldn’t be checking out. That wasn’t happening here. The guy took Tommy’s hand and shook it. Kept shaking it as he said, “Evan! Evan Buckley. Or Buck. Whatever you, uh. Want to call me is fine.” And it wouldn’t hurt to be a little friendly, could it? Evan didn’t seem to mind as Tommy leaned only a touch closer, looking into the man’s unwavering eyes as Tommy asked, “Are you sure you don’t have a preference, Evan?” That. That wasn’t blush. That wasn’t bashfulness as Evan’s eyes turned away. This had to be what Evan always sounded like as he mumbled at the ground, still shaking Tommy’s hand, “Evan’s fine.”

Muay Thai and Flying Lessons

| Rated: M | WC: 45.6K | Chapters: 10 |

Summary: Tommy Kinard is dating Evan "Buck" Buckley. They're even going to a wedding together in a few weeks. Tommy's excited about this new relationship, if a little nervous. But Tommy has a good feeling about Evan, and he wants to see this through.

Excerpt:

“Wait, so if you’re not here to hang out with Eddie, who are you hanging out with?” asked Hen. Tommy. Heard the thud of someone falling down from the firetruck. And there, on the floor, faceplanted and looking drained of all energy, was Evan Buckley. “Evan?” asked Tommy.

Burnt Lasagna and Slow Dances

| Rated: M | WC: 74.4K | Chapters: 15 |

Summary: Tommy Kinard now has an adorable boyfriend - Evan "Buck" Buckley. And for the first time in Tommy's life, he feels like, maybe, just maybe, this relationship might last.

Excerpt:

And all those different conversations overlapping was overwhelming. Tommy barely knew if he could untangle them, let alone take any of them in. But through all the noise and chaos, he saw Evan’s texts. EVAN: Hey EVAN: Saw that Tay interviewed you EVAN: I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen someone trip her up because of genuine honesty haha EVAN: Today was probably rough, though EVAN: I’ll pick you up, okay? Tommy smiled at that. And Tommy texted Evan back. TOMMY: It was rough TOMMY: Thank you, I’d love for you to pick me up Tommy heard the telltale ding of a cell phone… right outside the locker room. Tommy looked to the door, seeing Evan waiting there with a bouquet of flowers. Tommy’s smile grew wider.

A Surprise Visit

| Rated: T | WC: 2.4k |

Summary: Tommy goes to his first pride parade as a volunteer giving out water.

Excerpt:

“Tommy!” Tommy blinked, turning to the voice as he saw Hen, Karen, Denny, Mara, Jee-Yun, and Maddie walk over. Tommy. Kind of beamed, standing up. “Hey,” said Tommy as the all came over, “What are you all doing here?” There was something adorable to Hen and Karen’s shirts. Hen’s said “I Heart My Tungsten-Iodine-Iron” and Karen’s said “I Heart My Helium-Nitrogen”. The phrases were painted on these shirts in the colors of the lesbian flag, which made Tommy chuckle once he realized that these dorks made periodic table pride shirts. Maddie and the kids didn’t have anything on for pride, much like Tommy himself, but they seemed to find the same pride pin that Tommy was gifted. Maddie raised a hand. “I might have learned from Buck that you were at the stand today, and I thought – I have the day off. Hen and Karen have the day off. Wouldn’t hurt to offer it as an option,” explained Maddie. “We haven’t gone to Pride in a while, and we knew you were working this one,” said Karen thoughtfully, smiling, “So, we thought we’d support your free water stand.”

By A Thousand Cuts

| Rated: M | WC: 11.5K | Chapters: 3/3 |

Summary: Tommy Kinard has his first big fight with his boyfriend, Evan "Buck" Buckley.

Excerpt:

“I think I just had the worst shift of my life,” Tommy said as he dropped his duffle next to the door, a little – a little shocked by what had just happened to him on that shift.

The Fire is Inside the House

| Rated: M | WC: 79.1K | Chapters: 14 |

Summary: Evan "Buck" Buckley is fighting a wildfire with the 118, when he sees a helicopter crash - the helicopter of his boyfriend, Tommy Kinard. It's a race against time to find Tommy before the wildfire hits the crash site.

EXCERPT:

Buck couldn’t stop smiling at Tommy. Tommy was just. Hot. And nice. And he showed up. Always. Fuck. Buck loved this guy. “What?” asked Tommy, and there was a hint of a smile there. “Nothing. I just like you driving me,” said Buck. And Buck could see that Tommy couldn’t help it, he smiled too; not quite the scrunchy kind, but that dimpled one he did. The morning was young. Buck could get his man to that scrunch nose smile. “Oh, you like a chauffeur?” asked Tommy playfully. “Only one as hot as you.” And there was the scrunch. “I only drive the hottest myself.”

#bucktommy #bucktommy fic #evan buckley #tommy kinard #tevan #tevan fic #kinley #kinley fic #firepilot #my fics #Denial Verse #caught in this denial (tell me the day I'll say no more)#Muay Thai and Flying Lessons #Burnt Lasagna and Slow Dances #A Surprise Visit #By a Thousand Cuts #The Fire is Inside the House

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ranchthoughts · 1 year ago

Text

An Update to the Kissing Multiverse!

The first version is here, second version here, third version here. There is also a little bonus stat crunching here. My tag for this project is here.

Well, Only Friends and Dangerous Romance are over, so I am back with another GMMTV Kissing Multiverse update for you all. And boy howdy it is a doozy. We've added 16 shows, 19 actors, and 33 unique kissing pairs!

Rules

Must have visible lip to lip contact

Must be shown on screen in a GMM tv series (no kisses from ads, promotional content, trailers*, movies, etc.)

*please note this means none of the GMMTV 2024 trailers count

Breakdown by Show

The data set now includes 77 shows.

(full list in alt text)

Breakdown By Actor

The data set now includes 131 actors.

(full lists in alt text)

Results and Discussion

Unique vs. Repeat Kissing Pairs

Last time round we learned that the vast majority of GMMTV kissing pairs are one-offs and that mixed gender pairs were less likely to repeat. Those conclusions hold true for this update.

There are 169 "unique" kissing pairs in the dataset, and of those, 156 (92.3%) appear only once, in one show. 13 pairs (7.7%) appear at least twice.

The 13 pairs that appear in more than one show are:

Book/Force (in A Boss and a Babe, Enchante, and Only Friends)

Bright/Win (in 2gether and Still 2gether)

Dunk/Joong (in Hidden Agenda and Star in My Mind)

Earth/Mix (in A Tale of Thousand Stars, Cupid's Last Wish, and Moonlight Chicken)

Fiat/June (in The Gifted and The War of Flowers)

Film/Gun (in Not Me and Three Gentlebros)

First/Khaotung (in The Eclipse and Only Friends)

Gun/Off (in Not Me, Puppy Honey, Puppy Honey 2, and Theory of Love)

Lee/Mook (in My Dear Loser and The Jungle)

Louis/Neo (in The Eclipse and Fish Upon The Sky)

Marc Natarit/Pawin (in Dangerous Romance and My Gear Your Gown)

New/Tay (in Dark Blue Kiss and Kiss Me Again)

Phuwin/Pond (in Fish Upon the Sky and Never Let Me Go)

The kissing pair that has appeared in the most shows is Gun/Off, with 4 shows out as of now (and 2 more in the works!).

10 out of 13 of these repeating pairs (77%) are same gender pairs, specifically BL branded or brand-adjacent pairs. Once again, an interesting look into the GMMTV het vs BL system.

All in all, 97% of mixed gender pairs and 85% of same gender pairs appear only once, in one show.

Same Gender vs. Mixed Gender Kissing Pairs

Of the 169 "unique" kissing pairs, roughly 60% are mixed gender pairs and roughly 39% are same gender pairs. This ratio has shifted slightly from the last update (when it was 59% mixed gender and 41% same gender) as I have added more het shows to the sample.

Now to look at the shows themselves: 35% of the shows had only same gender kissing pairs, 47% of the shows had only mixed gender kissing pairs, and 18% of the shows featured both. You will notice that this is a 8% increase in favour of "mixed gender kissing only" shows compared to the last update which is due to the number of het shows I added this update.

Most Kissing Pairs Per Show

The average number of kissing pairs per show is 2.4.

The shows with the most different kissing pairs are:

Only Friends (16 different pairs)

The Warp Effect (15 different pairs)

Friendzone (11 different pairs)

The Jungle and U-Prince (9 different pairs each)

The Player (7 different pairs)

Not Me, Three Gentlebros, and 3 Will Be Free have 4 different kissing pairs each, and then all other shows have 3 or fewer kissing pairs each.

Welcome Only Friends to the top of the ranking! 🎉 A well deserved placing. I would like to take a moment to hone in on the distribution of kissing over the course of the series:

We hit 9 kissing pairs in ep. 9, 10 pairs in ep. 10, 11 pairs in ep. 11, and 12(+) pairs in ep. 12. Very satisfying.

The Power of Jojo

Jojo, every series:

You get a kiss and you get a kiss! YOU ALL GET KISSES!

(inspired by @dribs-and-drabbles here)

As we've learned over these past updates, Jojo has an outsized impact on the number of kissing pairs. He has directed roughly 10% of the shows in this sample, but his shows account for nearly a third of all kissing pairs (32%). Half of Jojo's shows are in the top 6 for most kissing pairs per show (Only Friends, The Warp Effect, Friendzone, and The Player).

The average number of kissing pairs in a Jojo show is 7.4, compared to 1.8 for non-Jojo shows.

Interesting to note: last update, the average number of kissing pairs per show for Jojo shows was 6.0 (1.4 lower) and the average for non-Jojo shows was the same (1.8). Only Friends had quite the impact.

(note: in this section, I am just looking at kissing pair iterations here not at unique kissing pairs, e.g., Phuwin/Pond are a pair in two shows (once in a Jojo show and once in a non-Jojo show), so they are counted twice.)

Most Kissing Partners

First, to put this in context: 50.4% of the actors in this sample have only had one kissing partner. The average number of kissing partners per actor is 2.6 (an increase of 0.3 from last update - again, possibly due to Only Friends).

We've had some significant changes in the leader board this update. Previously, our top 5 were Joss (10 kissing partners), Lee and Namtan (9 each), and Ohm and Nanon (7 each).

Welcome our new leader, Lee, with 12 kissing partners!

Krist takes the second spot (11 different kissing partners), followed by Joss (10), Namtan (9) and First (8) to round out our top five.

Next we have Gigie, Mild, Nanon, New, Off, and Ohm with 7 different kissing partners each; Film, Mond, Mook, Neo, and Singto with 6 kissing partners each; and Bright, Fluke Pusit, Jan, Khaotung, and Mark Pakin with 5 kissing partners each. There are also eleven actors with 4 different partners, and fifteen actors with 3 different partners each.

This update sees an astonishing 6 new kissing partners for Krist and 3 for First, catapulting them into the top 5. The impact of Only Friends can't be denied either - it increased every one of its actors' total kissing partners, and pushed Mond, Neo, Khaotung, and Mark Pakin up into the upper echelons, along with First, of course.

Most Kissing Partners in One Show

We have a new reigning champion for "Most Kissing Partners in One Show"! Thanks to his tireless hard work in Only Friends kissing 5 different people, Neo rockets to the top of the list.

We now have seven people who have kissed 4 different people in one show thanks to Only Friends (First, Mark Pakin, and Mond in Only Friends; Fluke Pusit, Gigie, and New in The Warp Effect; and Plustor in Friendzone), and eight cases of people kissing 3 different people in one show (Book, Force, and Khaotung in Only Friends; Joss and Namtan in The Player; Joss again in 3 Will Be Free; Krist in The Jungle; and Singto in Friendzone).

Please note that all of these instances (except for Krist in The Jungle) happened in Jojo shows.

In total, there are 52 instances of people kissing more than one person in a show, and 31% of actors in the sample have kissed more than one person in a show at least once.

Which of the GMMTV boys has kissed the most guys?

Last update we had a five-way tie for first place between First, Fluke Pusit, Neo, Plustor, and Singto, with 4 men kissed each. Only Friends has significantly changed the situation.

Congratulations to First for taking first place in the men kissing men category, with 7 men kissed! Next we have Neo in second place (6 men kissed) and Khaotung in third (5 men kissed).

First has kissed Gawin (Not Me), Force (Only Friends), Khaotung (The Eclipse and Only Friends), Mark Pakin (Only Friends), Mix (Moonlight Chicken), Mond (Only Friends), and Ohm (The Shipper)

Neo has kissed Drake (Only Friends), Force (Only Friends), Louis (The Eclipse and FUTS), Mark Pakin (Only Friends), Mond (Only Friends), and Title (Only Friends)

Khaotung has kissed Book (Only Friends), First (The Eclipse and Only Friends), Mond (Only Friends), Pawin (55:15 Never Too Late), and Pod (Tonhon Chonlatee)

There are now seven men who have kissed 4 men each: Fluke Pusit, Krist, Mark Pakin, Mond, New, Plustor, and Singto. Special shoutout to Mark Pakin, Mond, and Plustor for racking up all these kisses over the course of one show each (Only Friends, Only Friends, and Friendzone respectively).

Finally, there are eight men who have kissed 3 men each, and eleven who have kissed two men each.

The Kiss Web

Behold... the Kiss Web, newly updated:

And, as usual, some colourful breakdowns too:

The reach of the top 5 kissers: Lee, Krist, Joss, Namtan, and First.

The kissing webs of the top three shows: Only Friends (in pink), The Warp Effect (in blue), and Friendzone (in green). Yes these are all Jojo shows.

Some "kissing triangles" (no squares this time because there were too many to show). Note the triangles completed in the course of one show: Nat-Plustor-Singto (Friendzone), First-Khaotung-Mond (Only Friends), Mark Pakin-Neo-Title (Only Friends), Fluke Pusit-Gigie-New (The Warp Effect), and Joss-Mild-Tay (3 Will Be Free).

I’ve been having fun Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon-ing around this web and I’d like to propose a challenge to you all: what is the longest chain between two people (with the most people between them) possible? Basically, reverse Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon. Bonus points if there is no quicker shortcut between them.

If you’d like to play another little game, see my post here.

Contributing authors: @airenyah, @alsoran, @alwaysthepessimist, various anons, @bengiyo, @burnsuncomet, @callipigio, @cangse-sanren, @catboykacchan, @catboyjosten, @catsundmaus, @chickenstrangers, @crowie, @dribs-and-drabbles, @ffirstkhao, @foralleternityidiot, @isaksbestpillow, @jeonghanurl, @kattahj, @kpinhiding, @lurkingshan, @maibpenrai, @maybeitdontmakesense, @nieves-de-sugui, @non-binarypal7, @sammie-lightwood-bane, @sollucets, @userneos, @theselightsareblinding, @tiistirtipii, @waitmyturtles, @williamrikers

Data visualization consultants and beloved proofreaders: @chickenstrangers, @dribs-and-drabbles, @wen-kexing-apologist

Asked to be tagged: @blmpff

#kissing multiverse #gmmtv kissing multiverse #ofts #thanks for coming along on this journey with me!#and big thanks once again to those who contributed kisses #it will be a while till the next update - gotta let some more shows come out - but this project isn't done yet!#I would like to make a specific request - does anyone know what kisses happen in Wolf?

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primalmagic · 4 months ago

Text

Taylor is tired.

It’s Friday, which means that she is pretty much begging to get out of school. It doesn’t help that Tyler’s sick today, which in turn means there’s no one she can gossip to in this class.

She closes her eyes and waits till third period ends, her eyes trained on the old wooden wall clock above her history teacher’s desk.

Her mind flickers back to a disturbing memory, one from… then, and she promptly tries to kick it out of her mind. Today wasn’t going to be any more of a bad day.

“Class dismissed,” she hears Mr. Thomas say, his voice sounding somewhat foggy and faraway, “I will see you all on Monday. Please read pages 122 and 123 over the weekend.”

The bell must have rung, she thought.

She moves, grabbing her calculator and notebook and stuffing it back inside of her already stuffed bag. Normally, she loved keeping it organized, but today was just not it.

“Taylor?” Aiden’s voice floats in from the doorway. His class is right next to hers, and normally, she’s the one out first, “You okay?”

She looks around the room, suddenly aware that there isn’t anyone else here.

“I’ve been yelling for years-” He grumbles, rolling his eyes, but his shit-eating grin never disappears.

She can’t help but smile back softly, “Sorry, give me a second.”

She gets up, one hand slinging her bag over her shoulder and the other one with her still-open phone texting Tyler, and reaches where Aiden is standing- hands crossed and leaning against the doorframe, tapping his foot impatiently.

He punches her shoulder playfully, but lighter than he usually does, “Dude, you look like shit. Are you okay?”

“Thanks Aiden,” she mumbles, and he grins back, “Tyler got sick as hell last night, and mom had a late night shift, so I guess I didn’t get to sleep at all,” She admits, one hand brushing her uncombed hair out of her eyes.

“You guess ,” He snorts, “What does that even mean?”

“I don’t remember,” she groans, as they approach the cafeteria.

“You don’t remember… if you slept or not?” He asks, raising his eyebrows.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Oh. On the positive side, maybe that’s a good thing? I mean, no more,” he shrugs, “Y’know.”

She does know. Nightmares. The ones that you remember every single detail from, the ones that still haunt you while you’re awake, the ones that have plagued every single one of them for months.

She nods, so tired that she can barely hold a conversation.

Aiden frowns, “Hold up, I’ll meet you at the table.”

“Where are you going?”

“First, I’m going to grab you an energy drink. Then, I’m going to text Ashlyn to get out of the library, because I swear she always forgets that lunch exists. And then, we’re all going to live happily ever after.”

She laughs, “I don’t have any money on me though.”

“I’m not making the depressed mom pay for herself while she’s about to faint any second,” He scoffs, “How scandalous .”

She shakes her head, still smiling, “I’m pretty sure we all know that Tyler’s the mom here.”

“Well, of course, but he’s on leave, so you’re like, secondary mom. Do we need to make a ranking list or something? I’ll do that tonight.”

“Aiden no-” She doesn’t bother finishing, because Aiden is already running away. She chuckles, and, unbeknownst to herself, is somehow feeling a bit better.

—

When she reaches the table, two pairs of eyes look up at her in unison.

“Uh, hey guys?” She waves, sitting down at her usual seat.

Ben nods and gives her a soft smile- one that she sends back, then goes back to typing something on his phone, while Logan looks up and waves back.

She looks down at her own phone, and notices a few notifications from their group chat, sent only a few minutes ago.

dangeR, entr this at ur own risk

Aiden : beware: tay iz not doing well.

Aiden : b nice.

(Logan reacted with :Thumbs Up:)

Ashlyn : Bold coming from you. Are you okay, Taylor?

Aiden : meal

Aiden : *sean

Aiden : *mean

Ben is typing . . .

She smiles again, thanking whoever the hell gave her the best friends ever, then shuts her phone and pulls out her suspiciously light lunchbox- suddenly remembering that she’d somehow forgotten to pack her lunch as well.

God, she was never such a scatterbrain, what was wrong with her today?

Logan wordlessly hands her an apple and frowns, “Aiden was right, you look like you haven’t slept for days.”

Taylor raises her eyebrows and takes the apple, silently thanking him, “You literally saw me yesterday.”

“Yeah, but you look like you haven’t slept for days, today . What happened?”

She sighs, “Nothing much, my mom just had to go for a quick business trip yesterday and Tyler caught a bad stomach bug. He kept insisting that he was fine, but he was throwing up every hour and wasn’t able to sleep at all, so, well, obviously I stayed up as well.”

Logan’s brows furrow, “Is he home by himself right now?”

“Yeah, my mom is going to come back this evening, but Tyler refused to let me stay home with him ‘cause I had a big math test today. Kept insisting that he’s suffered through worse alone and that I need to stop worrying about him,” She groans, “Shoot, I forgot I had to meet up with the engineering teacher today after school. She’ll be so pissed I have to cancel on such short notice… I can’t leave Tyler alone though.”

Ben taps his screen, and an electronic voice buzzes out. Me and Logan can go after school and stay for a bit, if Logan’s up for it. I don’t have anything to do anyway.

“It’s okay,” Taylor smiles, “I don’t want to ask too much of you guys. I’ll figure it out. Besides, the weekend’s in only a few hours, it’ll be fine.”

Logan shakes his head, “No, no, I literally don’t have anything to do either. You’re not asking too much from us, besides, Tyler’s our friend too. Go figure out your stuff, we’ll head over with food after last period.”

He says it decisively, like he knows if he gives her an option, she’ll deny the help.

Ben nods, typing something else. Besides, you’d be doing us a favor. Ms. Smith is the last person on earth you want to upset.

“I second that,” A familiar voice replies from behind her, “Don’t know what favor y’all are talking about, but she’s scary.”

She turns around right as Aiden and Ashlyn walk up towards them.

“Sorry we took so long, Ashlyn was having a very important conversation with a creep.” Aiden continues.

“He’s not a creep, idiot,” Ashlyn rolls her eyes, “He’s the TA. Besides, I’m trying to be less… standoffish, is the word you used? You’re the one that told me to interact with more people, and you never said who it should be. Suck it up and deal with it.”

She takes a seat next to Taylor, and hands her the energy drink.

“Thanks,” she smiles, taking it from the girl.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Aiden frowns, “I’m the one who got it! Don’t I get a thanks too?”

Taylor laughs, “Thank you Aiden, really.”

He takes a seat, and begins ranting to Logan about being stuck with some idiot for a school project.

Something pokes her, and she looks over to see Ashlyn handing over half a sandwich. “Oh, no, I’m okay-” She tries to shake her head, but is rewarded with a slightly painful kick.

“Take it. I’m not that hungry.”

She pauses for a second, studying her face. Taylor knows that’s Ashlyn’s way of caring, so she doesn’t try to fight it. “Thanks, Ash,” she nods after a heartbeat, taking the sandwich. She is, in fact, incredibly hungry- even after the apple.

“Don’t mention it,” the other girl shrugs, going back to eating her own sandwich, “It’s not like you haven’t done the same before.”

Affection swarms inside her chest for all her friends, threatening to spill over the edge, “Thank you all so much,” she mumbles, “I don’t know what I’d do without you guys.”

“Don’t mention it,” Ashlyn repeats, smiling ever so slightly. Ben turns to look at her and hesitates, like he’s contemplating something.

He takes Taylor’s hand slowly, and places his phone in it- which, in hindsight, was completely unnecessary, as he could have played the sound from his own hand and she would have heard it, but she wasn’t exactly thinking at the moment.

Look, it’s natural, okay? It’s completely natural to blush when someone touches your hand. Especially with how Ben touches hers- lightly, calmly, like she means something. Like he cares that she’s upset and he’s trying to help.

The electronic voice speaks up again, and Taylor can only barely hear it above her overthinking.

We don’t know what we would do without you too.

—

When lunch ends, Taylor feels like only seconds have passed. But saying she felt better was an understatement, it felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulder. She messages Tyler a quick reminder to drink water and eat something, because even though he knew how to handle himself, he was absolutely terrible at remembering that humans need water to survive.

He texts back within seconds, with a swift, Thanks . Logan already reminded me.

There’s a pause, and then her twin is typing again. Saw the gc, are you okay? If you aren’t feeling well you should have stayed, I didn’t know you were sick or something too.

I’m okay, She types back, Just a little tired.

Tyler answers quickly, Are you sure?

Taylor sighs at her brother’s stubbornness, Yes, I promise. Seriously, just take care of yourself.

If you say so. Cya soon, sis.

She puts her phone into her pocket and speedwalks ahead, already slightly late. Walking to her next class always felt lonely, more so today, because the rest of the group all walked in the opposite direction to get to fourth period. It was so close to the end of the day, but so far.

Personally, she didn’t mind English class, but her teacher could get really boring sometimes. Actually, a lot of people thought she was quite good at the subject. Her teacher the previous year had tried to convince her to tutor, but she just didn’t have the time for it. She helped her friends out with papers whenever they needed it though.

It was a little funny, wanting to be a mechanic and loving english. Most people thought it just “didn’t fit” into her vibe, or whatever. Not that she cared- reading and writing were comforts she could never get rid of.

She enters class a bit more rejuvenated than the morning, and notices her chair upside down in an odd position. It looked as if the person who had sat in her seat the previous period had knocked the chair over completely. Huh.

She shrugs it off and picks it up, sitting down at her desk and opening up her notebook. They’re analyzing more poetry now, something she quite enjoys doing.

Her teacher walks up to the board, her heels clicking with a sharp ksh sound, scraping the floor little by little. “So, I know we’re in the middle of a unit, but I thought it would be cool to try something new. Bear with me for a bit Richard- we thought we’d add some more room for… well, creativity. Tommy, please be quiet. Our next assignment is going to be simple. We’re going to be writing… gosh, something you’d like to share with the class, Lily? No? Thank you! Anyway, we’re going to be writing letters.” She finishes in a quick breath, clearly reading to get this over with.

A chorus of confused questions arise from the class, and her teacher shushes them all, “It’s a simple project, truly. You write a letter to someone who is important to you. It can be anything. You write the letter simply as what you think, and then you compare the writing to what you would say to the person to their face. I’d like to read them all, but I understand that some could be private, so I would appreciate it if everyone kept theirs anonymous and didn’t write their name. I think it’s an interesting experiment that goes really well with the poetry anthology we’ll be reading next- which is more of a small collection of letters. Due date is by Monday- but I’m sure you can finish today.”

Well, Taylor wasn’t one to procrastinate too much, and she was rational enough to know she wouldn’t have any time or energy to do this during the weekend, no matter how easy the assignment was. So, she gets started.

Dear Mama,

I’m supposed to write a letter to someone who is important to me, and I chose you, I guess. I would show you this immediately, but I’m not allowed to show the letters to the person I’m writing them to- according to my teacher. Oh well. I know that what I would say to your face and what I am writing would be the same, because I always want to tell you how amazing you are. You’re the second strongest person I know, honestly, and you’re getting real close to Tyler too! Shoot, I’m so glad you’ll never see that. You both are so strong. Sometimes I wish I was as strong as you. I mean, Tyler’s the one sick, and I’m the one having a bad day? It feels weak.

She hasn’t meant for it to turn into a rant, and pauses suddenly, remembering the “anonymous rule.” She erases Tyler’s name and adds a few more sentences, random thoughts and emotions pouring out of her head she knew she could never tell her mother. Not because she didn’t trust her, but because Taylor wasn’t going to burden their mom anymore- not when she was already so hurt.

The phantom realm scared her mother, a lot.

Taylor remembers what she said once, I lost your dad, and then I almost lost Tyler. And then you, and then Tyler again? I’m not losing you guys again. I’m not doing it. Get away from the Ashlyn girl, if that’s what keeps you safe. God, just- just stop. Please, Taylor, Please.

It took a bit of explaining to get her to understand that there was nothing they could do but fight back. And it sucked, watching her mom always feel so skittish, always afraid that something was going to happen to them.

Taylor finishes the letter and folds it neatly, handing it to the teacher only a few minutes before the bell. She walks back to her seat and promptly lays her head on her hands, closing her eyes for as long as she can get.

That’s when she notices a white piece of paper- inside of the little cubby under the desk surface. She pulls her head up, shifting the desk in the process. The white crumpled ball falls out and onto the ground, rolling around in a slightly tilted angle.

She leans down to pick it up, as if it's trash, until she sees remnants of ballpoint pen on the outside.

That gets her curious.

Taylor unfolds it, hoping it isn’t someone’s History essay or adoption papers or something. That would be pretty unfortunate. But it’s crumpled up weirdly, like someone was about to throw it away.

Good. Not important, The back of her mind supplies.

She then hesitates, because was this moral? She had a pretty strict moral code and wasn’t about to break it for anything stupid. What if it was something personal? A letter from a previous class period?

You’re overthinking , her brain supplies once more. Which leads her to slightly panic, and then slightly panic harder, because why was she overthinking overthinking ?

She forces herself to calm down, telling herself that it doesn’t matter. Besides, her “strict moral code” had been broken before. Nevermind that it was when they were almost being killed and attacked by phantoms, as well as forced to stay in weird correctional facilities.

She gently opens it, her eyes focusing on the first two words on the page.

And drops it.

Because the first two words on that piece of paper are:

“Dear Taylor”

—

Her first thought is what the hell.

Her second thought is that maybe it’s a different Taylor. Surely there was another Taylor in this school- it was a pretty popular name, after all.

Curiosity grabs a hold of her, and she opens it again, telling herself she just needs to make sure it isn’t about her.

Her eyes chase down the page, hands slightly chilly as she grips it.

Dear Taylor,

I wish I could tell you how pretty you are. And smart. You’re really smart. You are. I think.- It feels kind of weird to admit I like you in any other place than my head. It feels It’s almost like it’s more real. Well, it’s always been real. I think. So might as well. Maybe. I really, really like you, Taylor Hernandez. I don’t think you feel the same way, and honestly, I don’t believe I’ll ever tell you. You’d probably hate me afterwards anyway. You’re one of the most important people in my life and I don’t think I could lose you. You’re always so

The letter trails off, seemingly unfinished. It’s ripped at the edges and still crumpled, like someone gave up on it, and Taylor really doesn’t know how to feel about that.

She doesn’t know how to feel about anything.

Someone likes her.

Oh god.

Oh my fucking god.

Taylor Hernandez does not curse. Taylor Hernandez has cursed three times in her life, and all when someone she loved was in mortal danger.

But that does not stop her from stating it out loud, in a weird monotone voice that is just so, so unlike her: “What the fuck.”

The bell rings at that moment, drowning her moment of revelation and shocking Taylor back into reality.

Someone wrote Taylor Hernandez a love letter.

And the culprit sat in her very seat, in either periods one, two, or three.

I’m dreaming, she thinks, because the letter makes her heart flutter and giggle and she doesn’t even know who wrote it.

Hell, it could be... Barron. Barron!

( Please don’t let it be Barron , she prays)

–

The first thing she does after she rings the doorbell is text the group chat, because she has no clue what to do with the letter and what it means.

dangeR, entr this at ur own risk

Taylor : hypothetically, if i find out someone is apparently hopelessly in love with me, but i don’t know who that said person is because i probably wasn't even supposed to see their written confession that was crumpled up on my desk, what should i do?

Aiden : TAYLOR ARE YOU GETTING BITCHES

Ashlyn: Spill the tea. Now.

Tyler: Tay what the hell??

Taylor: tomorrow at lunch, i promise. i have to go rn.

The door doesn’t open, and she presses the doorbell again, the small voice in the back of her mind insisting that Logan and Ben forgot and left Tyler alone, and something terrible happened.

But naturally- and thankfully- she’s wrong. Ben opens the door half a second later, raising his eyebrows. She waves at him sheepishly, “Hey Ben. Where’s Logan?”

He pauses and reaches out for his phone- which is always in his back pocket- frowning a bit as he does. You just missed him. He left a few minutes ago- said his parents were calling.

She nods in understanding, “Yeah, sorry I got a bit late. Is Tyler doing alright?”

She walks inside as Ben closes the door. He’s fine. We played Uno for a while and then did homework. He says he’s feeling better.

Taylor raises an eyebrow, “Riiight. Wait here, I’ll be right back.”

She walks to Tyler’s room, careful not to trip on any of the random items thrown around the house. When she reaches their bedroom, she gives the door a soft knock.

More like three knocks, actually. Two quick, soft ones followed by one harsh, loud one. They’d started it when they were young, according to their mom- they’d gotten mad at their dad one day and refused to talk to him. He’d tricked Tyler into letting him in after pretending to be Taylor, which had infuriated the young child so much he wouldn’t answer to anyone. Eventually, the knock came into place, something that nobody else really paid enough attention to copy. Taylor doesn’t remember any of its origin, but that was alright. It was just… their thing.

“Can I come in?”

“Mh hm,” He mumbles, struggling to unlock the door from the other side. Once it’s open, Taylor is met with the slightly-green face of her older brother.

Yeah…

He was definitely not feeling better.

“What happened?” She sighs, pulling him onto his bed.

“I went to get groceries,” He groans, “And when I came back Ben and Logan were here so I just… tried to push away the sick? Bad idea, it came back to hit me tenfold.”

“Why were you getting groceries?” She huffs, “I told you to stay home.”

“Yeah, well, you don’t ever listen to me either, Tay,” he snorts, and then winces at the pain in his nose, “We didn’t have anything in the fridge and it was bugging me.”

He looks away, but Taylor knows what’s going on.

“I could have picked something up,” she says, softly.

“Didn’t want to bother you,” He slurs his words and falls into the mattress, “Logan said you were with Ms. Smith.”

“Ty…”

“Don’t,” he interrupts, “I know what you’re going to say- that I need to stop sacrificing myself and shit- but I’m not. Stop acting like my mother,” he grins as best as he can with the energy he has, and she drops it, because well… It's Tyler. If he’s done with the conversation, there isn’t much she can do.

“I’ll grab a glass of water,” she changes the topic, “Be right back.”

She walks slowly, each one of her steps feeling a little bit heavier.

It wasn’t right, was it, to feel betrayed?

That even after all this time, it was like Tyler still thought she needed to be protected. That she couldn’t help out as well. Instead, she was stuck in a constant cycle of watching him pressure himself too much and then blame himself for everything.

It wasn’t fair. They’d gone through so much together. They’d literally gone through hell and back, but Tyler still wasn’t done.

She wishes so badly that she could do something, that she wasn’t so. Fucking. Useless.

God, there was at least one thing her “secret admirer” had gotten wrong. Taylor wasn’t smart- she was just… ignorant. It was easier to manage things when you didn’t believe they were real.

She got to live her little daydreams and normal life while Tyler was faced with the real stuff. And it had been killing him, once.

It’s killing him now .

The damages done to their house and their reputations after the phantom realm only meant Taylor’s mom had to work harder to fix their mistakes, barely coming home for longer than an hour a day. That Tyler had to work harder to fix the gap she’d left beyond.

Everything was so goddamn-

Taylor?

She looks up suddenly, realizing that she's already in the kitchen, the counter’s cold marble digging into her hand.

You’ve been standing there for a while.

“Oh,” she mutters, “Water. Right.”

But Ben blocks her from the cabinet, hastily typing with one hand. Are you okay?

She nods, closing her eyes. “Yeah, yep, I just… tired, you know?”

She thinks that’ll make him drop it, but instead, he simply moves closer. I’ll get the water for Tyler. You should go to sleep now.

She shakes her head, "We share a room anyway, I’ll just give him the water. Thanks for offering though.”

Still, he doesn’t move.

You said he was up all night, right? If you sleep in the same room as him, you might not be able to rest again.

“I need to be there for him, Ben,” she smiles tiredly, “He would do it for me.”

You’ll be a lot more help to Tyler if you’re not falling asleep in my arms. He raises an eyebrow, and Taylor turns feels a flush rise up her neck.

“I’m not falling asleep in your arms !”

Really? So I won’t have to carry you to the couch then?

She splutters, caught off guard, and Ben only smiles. Before she can process what’s going on, she feels arms around her waist.

Almost on instinct, she lets herself rest on his shoulder, feeling a little bit of tension disappear. He holds her for a few seconds, minutes, moments that feel like hours.

It’s a simple gesture, but it makes her feel so much better. Wrapped in his arms, she lets herself feel warm.

Ben is safe, she knows.

She is safe.

She’s not alone .

“Thanks,” she whispers, pulling away. His hands are still around her though, she notes. And then forces herself to stop noting because she highly doubts her mind can handle that right now.

She’s really fighting to stay awake now, and she knows Ben can see it. “Might have to take up your offer of carrying me,” Taylor jokes, “I think I might fall asleep here.”

She can’t hear him chuckle, but she can feel it, reverberating under her pulse.

She smiles as she looks up, "Anyway, I do really need to get that wat-”

Oh.

Oh my god.

It is safe to say that Taylor is caught completely off guard as Ben picks her up.

Bridal style.

Oh.

She’s pretty sure she’s combusting.

A few thoughts cross her mind, one of them being:

Oh, he’s strong.

And:

He’s carrying me. Why? Right. I said that. Right. Fuck. Words. What do I say? Um.

She opts to stay silent, because any sound that leaves her right now will probably sound like one of Alvin’s chipmunks.

He carries her to the couch, then settles her down slowly. Taylor watches him in a daze, feeling a little bit otherworldly- as if she’s watching the entire scene in third person- and is somehow more awake then she’s been all day.

Go to sleep, Tay. I’ll figure it out, alright? You deserve to rest.

Half of her tries to stay awake, but the other half doesn’t need to be told twice.

Her eyes close immediately, her mind focusing on the steady (but slightly rushed?) heartbeat of the boy next to her. She lets it drift her away, away from her exhaustion and into a dreamless sleep.

Before she falls, she swears she feels lips brushing her temple, a soft, sweet touch- one that reminds her of the kisses her mother used to give to her as a child.

She’s imagining it, she knows. But it makes her feel at home all the same.

–

When she wakes up, it’s dark outside. The lights are dimmed and there’s a shawl wrapped around her. She looks up, and notices Ben is still awake, on his phone on the chair next to her.

“Ben?”

Ben looks up, suddenly, as if he’s surprised she’s even awake. He flushes, I hope you don’t mind that I stayed. It was getting late and Tyler was having it rough. I can leave though, I don’t mean to intru-

She cuts off the continuing text-to-speech, and shakes her head, “No, no, it’s fine! I don’t mind. Is… is Tyler okay?” She feels her stomach clench, her fear of being asleep while her brother is hurting evident on her face.

He’s okay! He threw up a few times and then eventually went to sleep.

She groans, “You should have woken me up.”

Ben doesn’t reply to that, just shrugs and gives her a soft smile.

A few moments pass, and Taylor isn’t sure if this is what people call “comfortable silence”. It’s not awkward, sure, but she has an urge to fill the gaps- to say something , if anything.

“Have you ever thought of learning sign language?” She blurts out and he tilts his head, as if seriously considering it. He types for a second, then clicks the button.

Once in a while. But nobody would understand me unless they learned it too. And I can’t really ask anyone to do that for me.

He looks upset, his eyes downcast, like he truly believes it.

“I would,” she blurts out again because he’s started to lean a little bit too close and her sleep-addled brain is screaming warning signs, “I would learn it for you. Uh, with you. I would learn it with you.”

He smiles- a true, genuine smile that has her smiling too.

A few quiet seconds pass, as Ben makes his way from the chair to the coach, sitting down right next to her.

And then.

Then he leans on her shoulder, his hair tickling her neck, and her heart just about combusts right there and then. Not able to help it, she utters out a simple “Um-”

He doesn’t move, but instead faces his phone to her, not bothering to make it speak out loud . It reads: Is this okay?

“Yep!” She laughs, a little too forcefully, “Peachy. Totally okay. I’m fine. You should, uh, go to sleep too. It’s late already and we have- oh shoot - we have school tomorrow. Are you sure your parents are alright with you staying over on a school night?”

She's rambling, but she can't bring herself to mind.

He nods into her shoulder, and Taylor tries to go through her options.

Option one: She can let Ben go to sleep and then leave (awkward, because there’s no way he's going to sleep while leaning on her. Also, being awake means she’s going to stare at him the entire time, so…)

Option two: She can just get up and leave, go back to her’s and Tyler’s room, and let Ben fall asleep on the couch.

Option three: She stays. Which would be weird- and she doesn’t want to face that embarrassment in the morning.

“Do you, uh, want me to move?”

He sighs, then shrugs. She raises her eyebrows, “No? So you don't want to move?”

He looks a little lost, and then shakes his head, humming a slight affirmation. Still, she needs to make sure, “You sure?”

He nods again, and then squeezes her wrist, as if to assure her that it's fine.

But right as Taylor is about to get up, he traces something with his index finger onto her arm. Letters , she realizes. Four letters.

Stay.

It’s not as awkward as she thought I'd be.

reposting this chapter even though i've shared it before because i need motivation. thanks to everyone who liked it <33

here it is on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57313345

#sbg #school bus graveyard fanfiction #school bus graveyard #school bus graveyard fics #sbg fics #sbg fanfiction #sbg fanfics #sbg fic #school bus graveyard fanfic #benlor #ben clark #taylor hernandez #tyler hernandez #aiden clark #sorta aidlyn sometimes but not rlly #BENLOR #am i reposting this? yes. i need validation and am in writers block.#so. yk.#if more ppl see it maybe ill like. get the urge to finish the next chapter

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spncrscasey · 3 months ago

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You’re Losing Me (s.r.)

Fandom/Characters: Criminal Minds - Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 863

Summary: Some love lasts. Sadly, yours didn’t.

Warnings: angst, hurt/no comfort, a singular petname, no happy ending (i’m sorry, i hate sad endings too but there was no way of fixing this lol)

a/n: i’ve been obsessed with song fics recently so i decided to do another one inspired by you’re losing me by taylor swift !! so hoping i did my baby spencer’s character justice and portrayed him well considering i’ve restarted this over 4 times and it still ended up shorter than i wanted it to- anyway i’m gonna close my eyes and hit post because the more i reread it the more i start hating it so hopefully yall enjoy reading this more than me while listening to my girl tay <3

“You’re just ending it!? I- I don’t understand.”

“Of course, you don’t Spencer!” You yelled, raising your hands in frustration.

You paced back and forth, looking around at the space you once called home, a concept that now seemed so distant, so foreign. You couldn't understand when everything began to unravel. One minute, you were the love of his life, the woman who he would go to the ends of the earth for, and the next, it was as if you didn't even matter.

He was always at work but on the rare occasions when he was home, he’d head straight to bed, somehow managing to skillfully evade any connection with you throughout the entire evening. The goodbye kisses, the random texts throughout his day, the nightly ‘I love you’s’— they had all slowly stopped as well. It was as if he was absent even when he was right next to you.

You attempted talking to him about it, trying to get him to open up and tell you what's bothering him. Yet, he consistently brushed you off, claiming, 'You wouldn't understand.' You hated being on the sidelines of his life, and you resented him even more for placing you there, little by little.

When had he stopped confiding in you?

The room where you now found yourselves arguing in was once a sanctuary of shared laughter and cherished moments. Its walls had witnessed endless expressions of love and happiness, but the light in it had started to dull.

You sighed, taking a seat on the armchair in the corner of the dimly lit room. You placed your head in your hands, exhausted from the constant screaming.

“When did you stop loving me, Spencer?” You whispered, almost inaudible, but he heard anyway.

The question had been circling your brain nonstop for the last few months. Did you do something wrong? Was there another woman? Did he just randomly fall out of love? Did he ever even love you in the first place?

So many questions, yet he couldn't seem to answer any of them.

You were waiting for him to say something, anything. To tell you that he never stopped, or maybe the exact moment he did. But it never came.

When he didn't respond you continued, “Was it something I did?”

He was quick to reply to that one, “No sweetheart, never.”

The pet name was like a slap to the face. ‘Sweetheart.’ A name that he hadn't used to refer to you in months. So what gave him the right to use it now when you wanted to break up with him?

“You don't get to call me that anymore.” You said, tone almost as sharp as the glare you were sending him.

He visibly flinched. You chuckled to yourself at his reaction, looking up, but there was no humor in your tone.

“I gave you everything Spencer! I showed you endless empathy- after particularly hard cases where all you wanted was to fall asleep, or when-” You took a breath cutting yourself off before continuing, “Or when you came back from prison and had a difficult time opening up, I understood and gave you your space.”

Your eyes had started brimming with tears threatening to fall. You didn't want them to. Didn't want to show him how much he's hurt you, how much his actions affected you.

You composed yourself before adding, “And what did I get in return? Your ignorance.”

When you finally locked eyes, you could see so much hurt in his gaze that you almost felt sorry for him. Almost. You didn't intend to cause him pain, but there was a strange satisfaction in knowing that he was experiencing the same level of hurt that had consumed you for the past few months.

His eyes glistened with unshed tears as he blinked rapidly, struggling to articulate his thoughts. The usually talkative genius was suddenly left in stunned silence, unable to say anything.

You both sat in quiet for a moment, air thick with indecision. You heard him take a breath and speak, breaking the silence, “I'm sorry, Y/N- I didn't know you felt this way. I didn't think my actions were affecting our relationship.” He paused before beginning again, voice lower, “I guess I just didn't realize I stopped loving you.”

Every word he uttered felt like a dagger plunging into your heart. Unleashing a flood of emotions that gradually drained the life out of you, pulse fading, too far gone to bring back to life.

“I guess being myself wasn't enough for you to see me.” You announced, rising from your seat, and heading towards the door.

You turned to glance at him one final time, the moonlight catching the strands of his messy brunette hair and casting a cool glow on his beautiful brown eyes. You wanted to capture every detail into your memory- the gentle crinkles at the corner of his eyes, the way his hair fell across his forehead, and the way his eyes sparkled with emotion.

You slightly smiled before twisting the doorknob, “Thanks for at least being honest with me.”

I can't find a pulse. My heart won't start anymore.

#sky writes #ssa spencer reid #spencer reid #dr spencer reid #dr reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #song fic #spencer reid x y/n #song inspired #song inspired fic #criminal minds #ssa reid #you’re losing me #ts #taylor swift #midnights #you’re losing me taylor swift

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journeytothewestresearch · 1 year ago

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PSA - Don't Treat JTTW As Modern Fiction

This is a public service announcement reminding JTTW fans to not treat the work as modern fiction. The novel was not the product of a singular author; instead, it's the culmination of a centuries-old story cycle informed by history, folklore, and religious mythology. It's important to remember this when discussing events from the standard 1592 narrative.

Case in point is the battle between Sun Wukong and Erlang. A friend of a friend claims with all their heart that the Monkey King would win in a one-on-one battle. They cite the fact that Erlang requires help from other Buddho-Daoist deities to finish the job. But this ignores the religious history underlying the conflict. I explained the following to my acquaintance:

I hate to break it to you [name of person], but Erlang would win a million times out of a million. This is tied to religious mythology. Erlang was originally a hunting deity in Sichuan during the Han (202 BCE-220 CE), but after receiving royal patronage during the Later Shu (934-965) and Song (960-1279), his cult grew to absorb the mythos of other divine heroes. This included the story of Yang Youji, an ape-sniping archer, leading to Erlang's association with quelling primate demons. See here for a broader discussion. This is exemplified by a 13th-century album leaf painting. The deity (right) oversees spirit-soldiers binding and threatening an ape demon (left).

Erlang was connected to the JTTW story cycle at some point, leading to a late-Yuan or early-Ming zaju play called The God Erlang Captures the Great Sage Equaling Heaven (二郎神鎖齊天大聖). In addition, The Precious Scroll of Erlang (二郎寳卷, 1562), a holy text that predates the 1592 JTTW by decades, states that the deity defeats Monkey and tosses him under Tai Mountain. So it doesn't matter how equal their battle starts off in JTTW, or that other deities join the fray, Erlang ultimately wins because that is what history and religion expects him to do. And as I previously mentioned, Erlang has royal patronage. This means he was considered an established god in dynastic China. Sun Wukong, on the other hand, never received this badge of legitimacy. This was no doubt because he's famous for rebelling against the Jade Emperor, the highest authority. No human monarch in their right mind would publicly support that. Therefore, you can look at the Erlang-Sun Wukong confrontation as an established deity submitting a demon.

I'm sad to say that my acquaintance immediately ignored everything I said and continued debating the subject based on the standard narrative. That's when I left the conversation. It's clear that they don't respect the novel; it's nothing more than fodder for battleboarding.

I understand their mindset, though. I love Sun Wukong more than just about anyone. I too once believed that he was the toughest, the strongest, and the fastest. But learning more about the novel and its multifaceted influences has opened my eyes. I now have a deeper appreciation for Monkey and his character arc. Sure, he's a badass, but he's not an omnipotent deity in the story. There is a reason that the Buddha so easily defeats him.

In closing, please remember that JTTW did not develop in a vacuum. It may be widely viewed around the world as "fiction," but it's more of a cultural encyclopedia of history, folklore, and religious mythology. Realizing this and learning more about it ultimately helps explain why certain things happen in the tale.

#sun wukong #monkey king #journey to the west #jttw #Erlang #Erlang shen #Buddhism #Taoism #Chinese mythology #Chinese religion

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thefallennightmare · 21 days ago

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För Alltid: Jolly Karlsson x OFC! Astrid-One Shot[JP Universe]

Pairings: Jolly Kalrsson x OFC! Astrid[Just Pretend Universe]

Warnings: angst, fluff, smut( unprotected p in v while Jolly sits in the computer chair, slight biting, slight masturbation, Jolly suddenly realizing he has a breeding kink)

Words: 4,011.

Summary: The rope that binds Jolly and Astrid together is bound to snap. Can they tighten it before it's too late?

Authors Note: I've realized we haven't had an update into this couple since Fika came out so I decided why not! A little insight into the JP world without posting the next chapter. Also, I didn't tag anyone because I'm currently working on my tag list.

ASTRID

With a soft yawn, I scratched at my stomach as I walked into the apartment, the bag from the pharmacy clutched tight to my chest. My heart beat wildly in my chest with the only thought in my mind was making it to the bathroom. Thankfully, Jolly wasn’t home so he wouldn’t question what was in the bag. Even if he did catch me, it wasn’t like Jolly would say anything. He barely spoke more than five words to me since this morning; since our fight. He left almost immediately after our fight with a simple love you and I hadn’t seen him since, which was almost eight hours ago

The fighting had been more recent, almost every day one of us would bicker about something. It was like this months ago when I was dealing with the aftermath of my fathers death. Jolly suggested I talk to someone, outside of our relationship, about how I felt about his death. I took his advice and started seeing Dr. Poulos, which helped immensely. Jolly and I were good again, our relationship was thriving like how it had been in the beginning; back when he came to Fika every day.

I kept up my therapy appointments until recently. The last two weeks, the only thing I had energy for was working at Fika from open to close and then coming home to sleep off the exhaustion. Jessica and Tori quit, both deciding to move onto better things which I couldn’t hold against them. I still had Sean and a few other new employees but none of them were management material. So all the extra behind the scenes work fell on my shoulders. Jolly would come and help out when he wasn’t busy with Bad Omens but that wasn’t nearly as often.

It was four in the afternoon on a Thursday and I had plans on staying at Fika till close but after getting sick, I decided to come home for the evening, not before stopping at the pharmacy.

Setting the bag on the counter in the kitchen, I glanced around the quiet apartment and felt my heart sink when I still didn’t see Jolly’s Bad Omens sweater hanging on its normal hook. I pulled out my phone to check if I had any new messages.

I had five. Four from the girls group chat and one from Jolly.

My hands shook as I clicked on the one from Faye first.

Faye 🩵🧚: I’m going to throw up. I’m shooting for The Ghost Inside tonight while Matt works their front of house.

Tay 🍓: Meanwhile I’m going to cry because I’m looking at huskies for adoption but my apartment doesn't allow dogs.

Y/N 🐦‍⬛: Don’t get me fucking started on crying.

Tay 🍓: Shit.

Clicking out of our text thread without saying anything, I clicked on Jolly’s text.

Joakim ☕🩶: I’ll have dinner for us after you get home from therapy.

Fuck.

My therapy appointment was in two minutes but even if I wasn’t sick, there wasn’t any way I’d make it in time.

Right, were you sick the last two times you skipped therapy?

Typing out a quick excuse to Dr.Poulos about needing to cancel for being sick this time, I set my phone on DND and let it rest on the kitchen counter. As I reached into the bag from the pharmacy, the front door opened revealing Jolly who wore his typical sweater and dark glasses hiding his eyes as I locked mine with them. His hood was pulled over his hat but his long hair poked out down his shoulders.

“Shit,” I murmured when I noticed his shoulders stiffen.

“You’re supposed to be at therapy,” Jolly noted with a deep voice.

I rubbed my elbows. “Yeah-uh-I haven’t been feeling well.”

Jolly took off his sunglasses, setting them in the bowl on the table next to the door, and furrowed his brows while resting his hands on his hips. “Is that the excuse for missing the last three appointments?”

I blanched. “How did you know?”

“Dr. Poulos’ office sent a letter home,” he held up a letter that was ripped open.

“You read my fucking mail?” I seethed while slicing my eyes into him. “That’s an invasion of privacy!”

“I had no other choice, Astrid! You’ve been keeping shit from me,” Jolly sneered while throwing off his sweater and not bothering to hook it up. Instead he let it rest on the back of the couch.

I bit my tongue trying so hard not to have yet another fight today. Mentally I was exhausted and needed to remember what it felt like to be loved by Jolly.

“I don’t want to fight anymore,” I blew out a shaky breath while running a hand through my white hair.

The brokenness in my voice made Jolly’s stern face soften just a tad. “Karaste. I just want you to talk to me.”

I scoffed. “Talk to you? Why would I when I try to, it always leads to a fight.”

“You’re lying to me!” His voice boomed in the space. “Are you even sick? You had no problem going to work all day.”

Every word he spoke dug the knife deeper and deeper into my chest because while I didn’t look sick on the outside, I knew what was wrong on the inside. Jolly wouldn’t understand, not unless I told him what was wrong. I just needed confirmation first.

I looked away from his assessing eyes and casted my gaze down at my feet, kicking my scuffed up VANS along the hardwood floor. When Jolly first moved in, he made the emptiness in here feel like a home. Now with all of our fighting lately, it was as if the love had been sucked out.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Jolly,” I held up my hands exasperated. “It’s not like you’ll believe me since you think I’m lying.”

He crossed his arms over his chest and I did my best not to gawk at how his thick muscles clenched underneath his tight black shirt. Somehow with him throwing off his sweater, Jolly was still able to keep the black hat on. I let my eyes linger too long on the tattoos covering his left arm, up to the typical cross earring he wore, and finally over the dark facial hair that covered his face. He always made it look so good.

I clenched my legs together hoping to curb the fire that festered low inside of me. It had been so long since we touched each other but both of us were too angry with each other to even think about sex.

“Do you plan on getting back into therapy?” Jolly wondered.

My lips parted but nothing came out because truthfully, my therapy sessions were the farthest thing from my mind at the moment.

“I-I don’t know,” I answered honestly.

“You fucking promised,” Jolly scoffed while running a hand over his jaw. "Everything is a lie. Every fucking thing!"

The door slamming in the small confines of my apartment echoed causing me to jump, doing whatever I could to keep the tears at bay. I wouldn't cry, not for him. Not for Jolly. Even though the moment he walked in the door, all I wanted to do was cry not only because of the constant arguing but because I missed him terribly. He was here physically but emotionally, Jolly was checked out.

"Asshole," I grumbled under my breath, eyes boring daggers into the closed door of his office/studio.

Well, you did lie to him. You've been lying to him. Keeping secrets.

Ignoring the thoughts plaguing my existence lately, I blew out a shaky breath and forced myself to turn back towards the kitchen counter. The exhaustion had been buried deep in my bones for the last couple of weeks and I didn’t think it had anything to do with working almost every day. All I wanted to do was curl in bed to sleep the rest of the evening away. Even though Jolly's words from our fight this morning before I left for work kept pestering me.

"I haven't thought much about the future. I'm trying to focus on now."

I asked him in the middle of yet another argument where he thought this relationship was going because I made the mistake of mentioning how I felt like things were stale between us. Jolly didn't think of the future. Of our future. He only thought of the now.

It had been weeks of arguing. Weeks of walking on eggshells around each other. Weeks of not having sex. And weeks of keeping a secret to myself. Now that I knew how Jolly felt, I couldn't decide on if I should continue to keep it to myself or tell him which could potentially ruin everything.

The urge to cry burned in my throat as I snatched the bag off of the kitchen counter and locked myself in the bathroom. I stared at my reflection in the mirror for a long moment, noting the dark circles under my eye and the dark roots of my hair indicating I had not only skipped out on my therapy session but my hair appointments as well.

Averting my gaze away from the mirror, I dug out the box from the bag and nearly choked on a breath when I read over the letters once more. I nearly dropped it in the pharmacy when the realization began to sink in.

Pregnancy Test.

I had missed my period last month and it was coming up on when I was supposed to get it this month but with how I’d been feeling, I knew I wouldn’t be getting my period this month either.

That night was a night where we had a huge blowout argument, both of us questioning if we loved another. Deep down we knew we still loved each other and it was wrong for us to question it. But both of us were stubborn so instead of admitting our love, we decided to fuck out our frustrations; Jolly dragging me to the shower with him as I wrapped my legs around his midsection, marking his neck as mine while his cocked slammed into me.. Afterwards, Jolly helped me to our bed and apologized for the fight as he held me against his chest. I took the morning after pill later that afternoon once we realized we weren’t safe which is why I was hoping the test would be negative. Maybe the reason why I missed my period was because of all the stress I’d been under.

“Might as well get this over with,” I grumbled under my breath while ripping open the box.

It came with two tests and I figured it would be better if I used both so after peeing on both sticks, I set them on the counter and washed my hands. These next five minutes were going to be incredibly slow so after I changed into one of Jolly’s shirts and opted out of wearing pants, I paced the bathroom. I thought about maybe texting the girls group chat but knew with what Y/N was going through, it probably wouldn’t be a good idea. I didn’t want it to seem as if I was rubbing it in her face if I was pregnant.

“Shit,” I clutched my chest when the timer on my phone went off.

As I reached for the tests which were overturned, I paused for a moment wondering if maybe I should have been doing this with Jolly.

“If he wasn’t such an asshole,” I muttered to the thought in my head and turned over the two tests.

My heart was in my ears, in my throat, and in the depths of my stomach when I saw the one word that sealed our fate.

Positive.

Both tests were positive.

“Fuck me,” I breathed while resting a hand on my stomach, the tears finally falling.

There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that even though we were fighting, Jolly would be fine with whatever I decided to do. It was my choice. But would he stay with me? Bad Omens had been working non stop on touring and recording their next two albums. Hence why Jolly had been in a mood lately. I knew his anger wasn't directly related to me but because he’d been overworked. I also knew that didn’t give him the right to take it out on me.

Pulling up Jolly’s text thread on my phone, shaking fingers worked out a text even though he was still in the next room.

Me: I need to talk to you. It’s important. Can you meet me in the living room please?

Joakim ☕🩶: I’m busy working.

With a snarl, I snatched the tests off the bathroom counter and stormed out into his office, letting the door smack against the wall. Jolly didn’t bother to look away from his computer, one of Bad Omens new tracks on display, as I dropped the tests on the desk in front of him.

“Congratulations. You’re going to be a father,” I snapped before turning to walk away.

The chair creaked as Jolly leaned forward to gaze down at his desk, a soft breath catching in his throat.

“Karaste,” his fingers grazed my wrist, halting me. “Wait.”

“What? Are you going to claim I’m faking this again?” I snapped, slicing him with my gaze.

“I-,” Jolly’s face softened as he looked back at the pregnancy tests. “You’re pregnant?”

I let the anger fade momentarily when I heard the sincerity in his voice, the slight excitement.

“Yeah, I guess so. I missed my period last month and I’ve been so exhausted lately. Not to mention my boobs have been really sore,” I cringed while running a hand over my chest.

Jolly glanced up at my breasts with a small smirk but then he let his gaze lower on my stomach where it rested for a long few beats of silence. Fear of what he would do or say weighed heavy on my shoulders causing me to remain frozen in front of him. The air in the room was thick with an unreadable tension and the ringing in my ears was deafening. I couldn’t even hear our shared breathing as Jolly continued to stare at my stomach before his large hands rested there.

“Hi,” he breathed. “Jag är din pappa.”

Over our time together, Jolly had been slowly teaching me Swedish so immediately I knew what he said.

I’m your dad.

I dragged a finger over his cheek, those amber eyes I adored so much gazed up at me underneath his black hat. “I’m sorry.”

“For what, Astrid?” Jolly asked with furrowed brows.

“For lying to you. For not going to my therapy appointments. For avoiding fixing things between us by working nonstop.”

I rattled off which made him link fingers with me and brought me down onto his lap, both of us now sitting in his computer chair. He rested his hands over my hip, slowly raising up the hem of my shirt so he could drag calloused fingers over my skin. It was the most contact we’ve had in a week and I leaned farther into him. His nose dragged over my jaw, breathing me in.

“I’m sorry for all of the hurtful things I’ve said. I’m sorry for reading your mail when I should have asked you up front what was wrong. I’m sorry for locking myself away with work instead of fixing things between us,” Jolly apologized.

Removing his hat, I looked deeper into his eyes, taking in the slight freckles on his face.

“Can I be honest?”

When Jolly nodded, I continued. “You freaked me out when you said you never thought of our future and now that I’m pregnant, I’m worried you’re going to leave.”

“Absolutely not,” he cupped my cheek, dragging his thumb just underneath my eye to wipe away the stray tears. “I’ve never thought about the future until you came into my life, karaste. I might not express it enough, which is my fault but please know you’re in my future. Especially now.”

His free hand grazed over my stomach and I nodded into the grasp on my cheek, leaving a kiss on the inside of his palm.

“Can you promise me one thing?” I asked.

“Anything.”

Biting my lip, I spoke. “Can you promise not to propose to me just because I’m pregnant? I want you to propose because you want to, not because you feel like you have too.”

Something flashed in his eyes but Jolly eventually nodded. “Of course.”

While sitting on his lap, the chair continued to creak underneath our shared weight and I sighed, ready to get off which caused him to tighten his grip on me.

“Stay,” he breathed in the crook of my neck. “I need to show you how sorry I am.”

Quickly, Jolly’s lips were on mine in a leisurely kiss. It started off like how our first kiss did, like he was testing the waters again. I nearly sobbed into the kiss when I felt the love pour out of him. I’d been desperate to feel this way again. With his hands on my hips, he began moving me up and down his lap, the hardness of his cock pressing against the thin material of my panties. His name fell from my lips, almost immediately swallowed by his tongue as it explored my mouth, tasting me.

Tattooed fingers slinked up my shirt to graze over my back before Jolly tossed it over my head and down to the floor, breaking our kiss. Lust bleed in his already dark eyes as he looked at my stomach, his cock straining in his jeans.

“Shit,” he groaned while pressing kisses along my chest. “I can’t wait to see you round with my baby.”

A moan fell from my lips as I exposed more of myself to Jolly, his teeth now grazing over my nipples. Along with my sore breasts, my nipples were extra sensitive.

“Jolly,” I pulled on his shirt.

He immediately understood and helped me work it off. Immediately my nails raked over the familiar tattoo along his chest as my lips met his again in a fiery kiss, this one more intense than the last. With a gentle tap to my ass, I raised my hips slightly so Jolly could drag down my panties with a bit of maneuvering. However with his jeans, it would have taken way more maneuvering on his part to slide them off completely.

“We should move to the bed,” I suggested, breathless.

Jolly shook his head, keeping his lips on the current mark he was working on my neck. “Absolutely not. I want you to sit on my cock while I sit on the chair.”

Feeling feisty, I pulled away from him slightly to gaze down at him. “Really? This has nothing to do with Noah making it slip the other day how Y/N and him did something eerily similar to this.”

He rolled his eyes with a groan. “Please don’t bring up Noah having sex right now.”

When he motioned towards his unzipped jeans, I let out a soft giggle and then reached my hand in his briefs to grab his cock, already so warm and hard.

“I’ve missed this,” I whispered, gathering his precum to drag it over the head.

“Astrid,” my name came out through gritted teeth as Jolly rested his head on my shoulder. “I need to be inside of you. Please.”

Pulling his cock out from his briefs completely, I dragged it between my folds a few strokes before sinking down on him; both of us letting out a loud groan of pleasure. It had been so long since we’ve felt this so I knew we wouldn’t last long.

“Fuck,” Jolly strangled out while wrapping his arms around me to bring me closer. “I can’t wait to watch your belly get round with my baby.”

I mewled in response, mouth busy with leaving dark marks across his neck while one of my hands slipped between our bodies to press circles on my clit, bringing me closer to the edge.

His cock twitched inside of me, indicating he was close when his hips stilled. “You'd look so beautiful pregnant with my kid. Your belly and tits-oh shit."

“Don’t stop,” I begged while riding him faster this time, the chair nearly falling over.

For the first time since I walked into the room, I noticed a soft tune emanating from the computer speakers, instantly recognizing the voice.

“What if we got even for all the wrong reasons? What could it change?”

“Astrid,” Jolly’s voice now pulled me away from the song back to him and I brushed away the hair from his sweat slicked forehead. “I’m going to fill you up over and over again.”

I nodded as the coil in my stomach began to ignite in a blaze of ecstasy, my orgasm about to snap.

“I love you,” I cried out when my body finally snapped, arousal coating Jolly’s cock.

With one final thrust, he followed me over the edge as he filled me with his cum and a breathless Jag älskar dig mer, karaste in the skin of my neck.

I love you more, dearest.

Falling into him with exhaustion, Jolly lifted me from the chair and carried me through our apartment towards the bathroom.

“Are you alright?” He questioned while still carrying me.

I pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I’m okay.”

Setting me on the closed toilet seat, he turned on the shower and removed his pants while we waited for the steam to bellow around us.

“First thing tomorrow, you’re calling Dr. P to reschedule your appointments,” he said while running a brush through my hair.

“I will,” I promised. “I never meant to skip them. I just got overwhelmed with everything. Work, feeling sick, and our fighting.”

Putting the brush down, Jolly kneeled in front of me so he could rest his hands on my thighs.

“What do you say we get away for a bit? Just the two of us. We could head up to Big Bear. I know how much you loved it the last time we were there.”

I nodded eagerly. “I would love that. Fika is doing so well that if I closed it down for the weekend, we’d still survive.”

When the steam began to gather on the mirror and stuck to our skin, Jolly helped me up to my feet and rested his hand on my stomach where our baby was growing.

“I need to call the doctor to get an ultrasound scheduled so I can figure out exactly how far along I am,” I said while covering his hands with my own.

“Tomorrow?” He asked with bright eyes.

I couldn’t help but giggle as I led him into the shower with me. “I don’t think I’d be able to get in that quick. Plus it’s Y/N’s birthday tomorrow. Noah wants us all there by four p.m.”

As Jolly set me underneath the stream of water, he reached for my shampoo and lathered it up in his hands.

“We should probably keep this quiet, for multiple reasons,” he noted while working the shampoo in my hair.

I hummed in agreement and settled into the tranquility of Jolly washing me first and then me doing the same to him.

Even through all of the fighting we’d gone through recently, it was evident our love remained just as strong as the first day he walked into Fika asking for a black coffee with two spoonsful of sugar. Almost two years later, he still took his coffee the same way. Just like our love had remained the same, regardless of the fighting. While I was unsure of a lot of things recently, there was one thing I knew for certain now besides our baby growing inside of me.

För alltid.

We were forever.

#tina talks #bad omens #just pretend noah sebastian #bad omens cult #joakim jolly karlsson #jolly karlsson #jolly karlsson fics #jolly karlsson one shot #jolly karlsson smut #jolly karlsson x astrid #jolly karlsson x ofc

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asco-bisco · 3 months ago

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head over heels - tyden fic

Summary: aiden sneaks into tyler's room while he's alone then proceeds to ambush and flirt with him while tyler is still trying to gather his feelings

btw there's swearing in this fic

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Tyler was lying in bed, trying his best to sleep. It was 1 in the morning, Taylor was at a sleepover and his mom was fast asleep. And then he got a text.

After checking who it was from, he opened it right away. He didn’t care about sleep anymore, Aiden just texted him.

Moron:

r ur windows locked or what?? 🤨

Tyler blinked at the message before he heard a light tap on his window. He jolted and sat up quickly, staring at his window intensely. He slowly made his way off his bunk bed, careful not to slip as it was dark and he couldn’t see shit.

Another tap was heard and he began hesitating. Only a white girl would look out his window in this situation but after he got a second text, the anxious feeling lightened.

Moron:

knock knock lol

Tyler didn’t have any blinds in his room, all he had to do was open the window and stick his head out in search of blond hair.

But he didn’t see any. The first thing he did was open his phone again and text the group chat.

You:

Someone call 911

Despite it being 1 in the morning, the others replied right away but at the same time, it’s only been an hour since they woke up from their hellish nightmares.

Tay💞:

WHAT HAPPENED

Space Nerd:

WHAT

Moron:

STFU TYLER

Dw guys he’s just overreacting 🥰

Van Gogh:

…guys Aiden’s not home

Tyler closed his phone and looked out the window again to see light coming from a nearby tree. “What the…” Tyler squinted his eyes, not finishing his sentence. The tree was near his window and the chance of Aiden being at his house was high, he was scared out of his mind.

A little bit of him wasn’t, knowing Aiden was going to be here with him at night, but he buried that little bit of excitement deep down.

A few more texts from his phone and the light disappeared. Tyler knitted his brows, maybe he was too tired for this and maybe Aiden was messing with him. Somehow.

He turned around and reached for his phone to check whatever happened and was genuinely freaked out as he heard a noise from behind him. Maybe he should close his window.

You:

SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE WTF

Okay, typing in all caps was going to worry them but Tyler was anxious. But before he could turn around to close his window, something heavy hit his back.

“AGH!” He fell to the ground and he heard chaotic laughter from whatever was on his back. He turned his head around and saw Aiden sitting on top of him, he should’ve known. “Haha, you should keep your windows closed” Aiden taunted him, a visible grin on his face Tyler could see as his eyes adjusted to to the dark. But there’s always a grin on his face yet every time Tyler sees Aiden, he hopes each time the grin is a little more genuine for him.

Aiden suddenly pulled out his phone as a string of dings and pings were heard from it. Before he could do anything, Tyler pushed himself up quickly and rolled over, causing Aiden to fall off him. “Ow!” Aiden exclaimed as he hit the ground and Tyler took his opportunity to take his phone.

“Hey!” Aiden bellowed and Tyler ran to the end of the room with Aiden’s now unlocked phone.

BEN🗣️🗣️👍❤️:

Aiden answer your phone

The group chat was already opened so Tyler took this opportunity to text them.

You:

THIS IS TYLER

I TOOK HIS FUCKING PHONE

BC HE’S INSANE

Tyler typed as fast as his thumbs would let him as Aiden began dashing at him and jumped on him before his next text could be sent.

You:

A1V*86:{]

“PSYCHO!” Tyler shouted as he was pinned on the floor and Aiden only laughed as he sat on top of him. “You’re window’s still open,” Aiden chuckled, glancing at the open window. Aiden suddenly jumped off Tyler who quickly stood up, confused and scared thinking someone else got inside only to see Aiden reach for Tyler’s still unlocked phone that lay on the floor near the window.

“Don’t touch my phone!” Tyler lunged at the blond who picked up the phone quickly and dashed out the door. “Fuck!” Tyler groaned and picked up Aiden’s phone off the ground, taking his time to walk out the door since it was not like Aiden could go anywhere.

Except for the front door

Aiden. Going through the front door. With Tyler’s unlocked phone.

Shit.

Tyler quickened his pace only to hear the sound of a door shutting and realized it was the bathroom door. Aiden didn’t leave Tyler’s house with his phone, thank the Lord. He groaned and walked back into his room.

TAYLORRR🛹🔧:

OH MY GOD IM COMING HOME TY

WHAT IS GOING ON

Ty⚾😤🤭:

No theres no need tay just have fun at ur sleepoever🥰

Tyler blinked at the phone. “...fuuuuucckkkkk,” He groaned, trying to ignore the fact his cheeks were warm just by seeing Aiden had Tyler as “Ty” with a string of emojis.

Ty. Aiden somewhat ‘secretly’ called Tyler ‘Ty’. Fuck, Tyler was head over heels for him.

The bathroom’s lock was one of those locks where it’s just a slit. On the inside, you just turn the lock and it’s closed. Tyler unlocks that lock from the outside with a coin or whatever he can find that’s thin but strong and the first object he can think of is a coin that was somewhere in his wallet that was somewhere in his room.

He made sure Aiden’s phone stayed open as he set it on the desk, taking glances before deciding to reply through Aiden’s phone again.

You:

HE HAS MY PHONE

THIS IS TYLER

THAT MORON HAS MY PHONE

BEN🗣️🗣️👍❤️ :

what

PEW PEW💥:

are they together rn…?

ASH🍊:

Uh-

Tyler rolled his eyes and continued searching for his wallet before finally finding it in his varsity jacket that hung on the chair tucked in the desk. He should’ve checked there first.

He glanced back at the phone before keeping his eyes on it as Aiden began exposing Tyler, not on a drastic level but the realization of Aiden having the ability to go through his phone only hit him now so he needed to hurry. He quickly opened his wallet with one hand and typed on Aiden’s phone with the other.

Ty⚾😤🤭:

OH MY GOD GUYS HE HAS ASHLYN AS CARROT TOP

LOGAN AS SPACE NERD

ASH🍊:

carrot top? tf

You:

STFU

BEN TELL UR STUPID ASS COUSIN TO GO HOME

Ty⚾😤🤭:

BEN AS VAN GOGH LOL

Tyler had enough of this, he found the coin and dropped his wallet, he’ll deal with the consequences of that later. As he ran down the hall to his bathroom, he felt grateful for once that his mom was somewhat of a heavy sleeper, she wasn’t going to wake up if Aiden were to scream.

But Tyler and Aiden had been screaming for a while now, she was fast asleep.

Once he reached the bathroom door, he still had Aiden’s phone with him so he bit on the coin careful not to get his saliva on it but the idea is still disgusting. He didn’t care that much, though.

PEW PEW💥:

wait

are you guys okay???

You:

Yeah that moron just climbed my window and got inside

brb promise we’re fine

TAYLORRR🛹🔧:

Oh my god Ty

U gave me a heart attack

You:

Ben get your ass over here

He finally closed Aiden’s phone and took the coin before inserting it into the slit of the doorknob and began twisting it. He ignored the pings coming from Aiden’s phone as the group chat continued to be filled with text before he finally unlocked the door.

He swung the door open and Aiden let out a yelp who was standing in the middle of the bathroom. “Give me back my phone!” Tyler lunged at the blond and now it was his turn to fall on the ground with Tyler on top of him. Aiden squirmed and began flailing his arms as Tyler’s phone was still in his hand.

Tyler reached for his phone but Aiden wouldn’t stop moving so Tyler resorted to the next thing his mind thought of. Tickling.

He reached for Aiden’s sides and tickled him. Aiden quickly erupted in laughter and his body automatically curled up, causing his hand to get near Tyler’s. Tyler reached for it and got his phone successfully, getting off Aiden as he did so.

“Ugh,” Aiden whined, “You’re so mean.” He groaned and got up. Tyler rolled his eyes and began exiting the bathroom, not knowing where Aiden’s phone went or the coin was in the process of everything. “You broke into my house,” Tyler commented as he turned his head around and watched Aiden roll his eyes with a shrug as if it was the most normal thing in the world. “I was bored,” Aiden chuckled.

Tyler rolled his eyes and began walking away. “Close the lights on your way out,” He commanded and heard the sound of the switch flick as he walked the dark halls. A few quick footsteps and Aiden was beside Tyler, the two walked to Tyler’s room in silence.

“Can I sleep here?” Aiden questioned, closing the door behind him. Tyler turned around, putting on the best poker face he could manage but it was dark, it didn’t matter if he failed to control the heat in his cheeks. “You’re stupid,” Tyler only managed to get two words out and that was stupid.

Aiden scoffed and opened his phone, where did he even find that? It was a quick open and close before he walked past Tyler to his window.

Tyler thought he was going to leave and he couldn’t tell whether that’d be heaven seeing that he could finally sleep in peace or hell because he would regret this decision later.

No, he heard the window shut behind him and he couldn’t turn around in time to see what Aiden was going to do next because he felt something against his back along with something around his waist.

“I’m cold,” Aiden spoke into Tyler’s shoulder sending shivers down his spine. There was a slight shudder in Aiden’s voice and his cheek felt cold against Tyler’s neck.

He froze. He looked down at the hands that intertwined at his abdomen reached for them and tried to unlock them. “D-Do you want me to get blankets?” Tyler was stuttering, he knew he was fucked. “W-Why are you h-hugging me?” If Tyler wasn’t screaming out loud then he was on the inside. Aiden wouldn’t let go and, damn, Aiden’s hands were unreasonably cold.

And Tyler’s face was unreasonably hot. He swore he was radiating heat at this point, his cheeks felt so hot he was going to get heatstroke.

“You’re really warm…” Aiden mumbled before finally lifting his head. “I’m also tired, by the way,” He chuckled softly, his breath tickling Tyler’s ear. “YOU’RE GOING TO KILL ME!!” Tyler shouted in his head as he froze again. “T-The fuck you want me to do!?” Tyler’s feelings got ahead of him and his voice was louder than it needed to be, he sounded like an idiot.

“I wanna sleep,” Aiden sighed, his breath hitting Tyler’s neck. Tyler had it. He wasn’t going to let this slide, he had to get Aiden off him before things got worse.

Tyler blinked and started trying to get Aiden’s arm off him again. “T-Then go home and sleep!” Tyler argued, struggling to get Aiden’s arms off him and ignoring how Aiden tightened his grip. “Noooo!” Aiden whined, head hitting Tyler’s shoulder again. “It’s so cold outside!” Aiden suddenly let go of his own hands and took Tyler’s hands.

“See how cold my hands are!” Aiden wrapped his hands around Tyler’s and it was cold. Tyler tried so hard to control his heart, it was beating so painfully loud against his chest that he couldn’t even hear his thoughts. “Woah,” Aiden chuckled, “Your hands are really warm.”

“That’s it!” Tyler threw Aiden’s arms off him and spun around. “F-Fine! Go sleep on my bed or something!” Tyler huffed and turned around to leave the room. He couldn’t face Aiden anymore, everything was too much.

If he was tired before he was pumping with adrenaline now.

“Where are you going?” Aiden questioned, not moving from his position. Tyler took Taylor’s pillow and blanket from the spot on her bottom bunk before approaching the door. “Sleeping downstairs,” Tyler finally got his voice to calm down now Aiden wasn’t that close anymore. “My spot’s on the top, by the way–” “--We aren’t sleeping together?”

Tyler froze, his hand was reaching for the doorknob and Aiden just had to let his mouth run. “W-What!?” Tyler whipped his head around and Aiden was standing with his head tilted. Tyler couldn’t read Aiden’s facial expression like this but it’s not like he was going to get closer to find out.

“I-I don’t know!” Aiden blurted out, “I thought we were just gonna sleep in your bed or something..” Tyler tried so hard not to scream. “...together…?” His voice was quiet and it cracked, he sounded like a mouse. He didn’t even know if Aiden heard him but there was a nod. “Yeah,” Aiden answered, his voice calmer than Tyler’s.

Tyler was more excited than he should’ve been. The thought of being in bed with Aiden. On Tyler’s not wide enough bed. Close together.

Fuck, Aiden really did have Tyler head over heels for him.

Tyler opened his mouth but nothing came out, he wanted to say yes. Say something like “Aiden, I’m in love with you and I will gladly go to bed with you” but no, Tyler was speechless. Out of all the times his vocal chords decided to stop working it had to be now.

“Say something!” Tyler shouted at himself.

Aiden cleared his throat. “...Okay so I made things awkward,” He sighed and Tyler could see him rub his face. “Ugh…Sorry,” Aiden apologized, “I’ll just sleep downstairs or leave or–” “--No! W-We can sleep!” Tyler finally managed to talk and he didn’t care how loud he was being or if he was showing more excitement than he should be.

He wasn’t going to let this opportunity pass.

Tyler put Taylor’s blanket and pillow back on her bed, his phone getting lost somewhere in that. “Come on,” Tyler began climbing the ladder to the top and Aiden followed. Tyler crawled onto the bed before turning around and watching Aiden do the same.

Aiden let out a sigh as he fell on the bed, head in Tyler’s pillow. Tyler’s pillow.

Aiden looked at Tyler who was only sitting up. “Are you going to lie down?” Aiden snickered and Tyler had to throw his feelings out the window for two seconds if he wanted to move. Tyler didn’t respond, he wanted to but couldn’t think of a proper response so he silently got under the covers as Aiden did the same.

“Am I dreaming? I’m going to cry if I’m dreaming,” Tyler put his head down. Right beside Aiden’s. Yeah, he’s so fucked.

Aiden shuddered again, how cold can this guy be? “Are you still cold?” Tyler knitted his brows and began sitting up again. “I-I can get more blankets,” Tyler offered, “Yeah, I’ll just get more blankets…” Before he could fully sit up, Aiden pulled him back down, arm wrapping around Tyler’s torso.

Once Tyler’s back hit the bed, he felt something on top of him.

“I’ll get warm eventually,” Aiden spoke into Tyler’s chest.

In a matter of seconds, Aiden pulled Tyler down and laid his head on Tyler.

Tyler’s heart was beating so fast he knew Aiden could hear it, he was positive. He was so sure Aiden could feel it beating, hear it. He was so screwed.

“Like I said,” Aiden mumbled, “You’re really warm…”

“Yep, this is a dream,” Tyler eventually relaxed but his face was still warm and his heart wouldn’t calm down. Aiden had wrapped his arms around Tyler and entangled their legs under the covers. Tyler was still, letting Aiden do whatever at this point.

To think this was all happening because Tyler didn’t go downstairs fast enough. Because he didn’t turn around in time. Because he had to open the message from Aiden and open his window. He had to.

And he didn’t regret it.

Aiden was against him, breath tickling his chest as Aiden shuddered yet again.

“...I can get blankets–”

“--Shut up and go to sleep.”

Yeah, Tyler didn’t regret it one bit.

He hesitantly raised his hand before putting it on Aiden’s head. He waited for a response: none. He ran his hands through Aiden’s hair.

“Am I really doing this right now?” Tyler held his breath and closed his eyes, twirling strands of hair in between his fingers, his heart was doing backflips.

Out of nowhere, Aiden started shuffling a bit, lifting himself off the bed for a second before lying back down.

But instead of his head on Tyler’s chest, he had moved up so his head was resting in the crook of Tyler’s neck. His chest was against Tyler’s, nearly on top of it, and his leg draped over Tyler’s thigh. Suddenly, Tyler felt something touch his hand, Aiden’s.

Tyler couldn’t tell if this was an invitation to hold hands but they’re basically cuddling and holding hands is usually before that.

So Tyler moved his hand and Aiden took it immediately, intertwinning their hands. He could feel Aiden smile against his neck.

Tyler was going to explode. He was going to die. Something was going to happen to Tyler and it was because of Aiden Clark, something always happened to Tyler because of Aiden Clark. Tyler’s peace got invaded because of Aiden Clark, Tyler couldn’t think properly around Aiden because of, well, Aiden Clark, and Tyler’s heart would beat rapidly because of Aiden Clark.

Aiden this, Aiden that.

God, Tyler was obsessed.

He was head over heels.

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part 2:

#tyden #tyler x aiden #aiden x tyler #school bus graveyard #sbg #sbg tyler #sbg aiden #aidler #sbg tyden #sbg ashlyn #sbg ben #sbg taylor #sbg fanfic

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bagopucks · 2 years ago

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J. Hughes - It’s Out There

✄————————————

Jack Hughes x Reader

Requested✨

Word Count: 5.1k

Warnings: a bit of ass grabbing💕, talk of ED, general angst (not proofread)

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The horror stories weren’t exactly true, but they also weren’t far off. College is what one makes of it. That I learned early on. I kept up with the work, I built a steady routine, I put forth my best effort. Things so far had been fine. I had enough time for my major and my life.

Taylor on the other hand.. she wanted to party. I loved her. I truly did, but sometimes her complaining stressed me out. We were roommates, and I always offered my best advice and a helping hand when she needed it. But she never put forth her own effort. Jack often heard about her when I needed time to complain.

Today though, I had gotten her to sit down with me and study. I promised breaks here and there, and even a late dinner. We’d both missed out on lunch for finals, neither of us were exactly hungry considering the stress. We were in need of food. But more importantly, we were in need of better help.

I managed well with our other classes we had together. I let her copy my notes and we discussed and reviewed, but when it came to math, we were both scattered.

So we decided to take a brief break.

I leaned back against the wall, sitting on my bed, while Taylor mirrored me from her own bed. I texted Jack, while she no doubt scrolled through social media.

I enjoyed the silence. Not interrupted or broken by anything but the quiet flow of air through the AC in the room. Occasionally Taylor would send me something on Instagram, and our silence shifted into both of us scrolling through our social media apps and sending each other things.

I sent her a video of a French bulldog, I received a post in return that I couldn’t quite make out from the small notification. So I opened it.

“Jack Hughes Finally Off The Market?”

It wasn’t anything more than one of those meme pages, but the photo of Jack and I kissing at his favorite cafe in the city- that was what caught me off guard. I felt my stomach turn, my entire being feeling like it fell through the floor.

It had been pitch black that night. Nobody had even been on that street when we came out. How did somebody get a photo?

“Tay,” I glanced at the likes. There were enough to make me nauseous. I decided to check the comments, hopeful that perhaps somebody would point out how it was a joke. I knew that was unlikely though.

“Where’d you find this?” Fear gripped my heart as I read through comments.

‘Can’t see her face :|’

‘Great content bud’

‘Fuck her’

‘Don’t worry guys, it’s me’

‘Hands couldn’t even fit around that ass’

‘I’ll bet she’s pretty’

A different degree of reactions all around. My gaze remained on some longer than others.

“Just on Instagram. Since you started dating Jack I just.. I don’t know, guess I started keeping up with the hockey stuff.”

Taylor looked up at me, and I looked up at her. I was pale, she looked careless.

“Hun.. I wouldn’t worry. It’s a meme page. Nobody takes their stuff seriously.”

Taylor had a point, but at the end of the day.. that was still a photo of me and Jack. Whether people believed it or not, to me, that was very clearly, me and Jack.

“Why don’t we skip the next break and get back to studying.. okay?”

I was reluctant to agree, but Taylor eventually pried my attention away from my phone. Or at least she thought she did.

The rest of our night was spent studying. We had gone out to grab something to eat from the nearest fast food place, and ate together watching the hockey team of my hometown city play. The Devils didn’t have a game scheduled for a few days, so I took it as an opportunity to check up on my other team of interest.

After the hockey game, we had both called it a night. With the lights out, and the only sound being the occasional thump of footsteps or somebody in a room around us, my mind wandered. It wandered to the point that I had grabbed my phone again to check for any news.

Nothing.

The internet still seemed oblivious.

I went back to the post to look at it. There were more comments and likes, but nobody had considered it a real possibility yet.

I spent hours awake, staring at the screen, turning it off only to give in and turn it back on, waiting for my entire world to crumble around me.

I fell asleep somewhere around four am.

When I woke up, I forced myself away from my phone to focus on my last final. I told Jack that I would visit him after it was completed and I was off for spring break. I had that to look forward to, but every time I thought of Jack, I thought of that post. So I pushed it to the back of my mind as I entered my professor’s classroom and set my phone by others on the front desk.

I’d attest to the fact that my mind wandered a few times, but I would also say I thought the exam went well. Taylor promised to meet me in the mess hall when we were both done.

I stepped out of the classroom and flipped my phone in my hand. With spring break beginning officially for me, I only had one other thing to stress about.

Opening my Instagram was like stepping into a whole new world. I followed the Devils, the NHL page, ESPN, and a few others. Mostly just for news on Jack when it came out. But this time, the news about Jack made me sick.

I slowed to a halt in the hallway, before my body went into autopilot.

The first post in front of me was the New Jersey Devil holding a bottle of champagne in a photo. The caption was a mess of words in my head. A congratulations.. with my account tagged.

I forced myself to lower my phone as I jogged through the halls and out the first exit I found.

When I got outside, my pace slowed, and I lifted my phone again.

I opened the Devils story first. Another congratulations post to Jack.. and me. My name. Next to Jack’s. Something the media team was no doubt doing to try and poke fun at the situation. It was all in good fun for them. I could understand, but at the same time it made me want to throw up. They hadn’t even spoken to Jack or me. They didn’t even ask if we wanted to remain private. Instead they simply confirmed everything. As the story played through, the next one for the NHL opened. It was a repost, with a message that said, ‘welcome to the NHL WAGS FAM.’ With my account tagged.

I could not imagine the page doing it for another player, but this was Jack Hughes. This was one of their most followed guys in the league. They’d cover every moment of his life if it meant more money and a bigger following.

ESPN had a more formal address on the topic, but it was still about Jack and I nonetheless.

I blacked out. I blacked out so hard that I barely even noticed I was in my dorm until I heard the door click shut behind me. Panic was the only thing I had really felt before. Until I looked at the posts. The posts, then the comments.

There were a select few who congratulated, but the majority? The huge crowds? They hated me. It made a sense of dread bubble up in my throat, until a quiet cry escaped. Girls insulted me in every photo posted, guys asked why Jack went after me, some even said I was nothing but a distraction. People made fun of me for being a secret, they tore me down for not setting my life aside to follow him and his hockey dreams.

How did they even know about my life so quickly? How did they know where I went to college?

I made a split second decision. I grabbed a duffel bag from my closet and began to throw clothing inside. I was certain that I had forgotten things along the way, but there was nothing a quick visit to the convenience store couldn’t fix. I put my laptop in the bag, as well as various chargers I hadn’t bothered to ravel up.

I was panicked, and the one person I wanted to see was an hour away. Taylor called me a few times while my phone laid on my bed, but I hadn’t called her back until I was out of my dorm room and headed for the car.

“Hey! We were supposed to meet up.” Taylor’s voice called through the phone. I sniffed quietly. I hadn’t begun crying yet, but my nose was running nonetheless.

“I have to go into New Jersey early.” I spoke through a shaky voice. I tossed my bag into the back seat of my car before climbing into the front. I was quick to turn the vehicle on, and Taylor’s voice cut out as my phone Bluetooth connected to the car.

“Is it bec- of that post?”

“Jack and I are out. All of the sports media has confirmed it. Tay, I don’t know what to do.” I backed out of my spot before I tore out of the parking lot.

“It’s gonna be okay. I’m sure Jack will have it handled.”

“Jack?” I asked. Incredulous. “I love Jack, but I highly doubt he’ll have any of this shit handled.” He’d never been through it before. We were both amateurs at this, and now we were sinking together. I needed him. I assumed he needed me.

“Okay well.. I’m sure everybody’s happy for you guys.. yeah?”

“No! No, they’re not! They keep commenting on how shitty I am! And in that post last night, everybody was all over my ass! My ass!” My loss and hopelessness caused me to get choked up.

I’d always had a rough relationship with food ever since I was a teenager. People told me I was too skinny or too big. People told me that being insecure because I was skinny didn’t count. They invalidated my feelings while at the same time telling me my ass wasn’t big enough, or my cup size was awfully small. Then others would come back and say my ass was too big or my boobs might be distracting.

Depending on the comments, some days I ate, others I did not.

When I met Jack, I was healthier than before, but I still struggled. He always reassured me. Told me I was beautiful. That he loved me, thought I was perfect, and that gaining or losing a couple pounds meant nothing as long as I was healthy.

He made me feel safe eating huge greasy burgers and shoveling cake into my mouth on a Friday movie night. Likewise, he validated my feelings when all I wanted was a chicken salad and maybe a piece of bread or two. He always said, ‘as long as you’re healthy.’ And every once in a while he made sure I wasn’t hungry either. Especially after I ate salads. After he’d seen me put away pretty nice sized meals, he always made sure I had enough to eat. And that I was comfort able enough to eat.

It was amazing how a few social media comments could tear down so many walls I’d built, but it was deeper than that to me. These were Jack’s fans. If they didn’t like me, then why should he? Had he been lying to me all this time?

“Your beautiful ass?” Taylor tried to make a joke. A tear finally fell down my cheek.

“What if Jack hates me?” My bottom lip quivered. “He hasn’t reached out.. what if he’s breaking up with me?” The mere thought made me want to pull over and turn around.

“What is he doing today?” Taylor asked expectantly. I had to think about it.

“Media stuff?” The thought brought a moment of relief to my lungs.

“Exactly. You’ve had days before where he doesn’t text until late in the evening and it’s never bothered you.” Taylor’s voice gave me the encouragement to continue on.

“I know this didn’t happen in time like you guys planned it, but it’s all going to be fine. The crazy fan girls will always be mean, but people are going to get over it.”

“Yeah.. but what if they hate me forever?”

“They might. But oh well, right?”

Taylor was right. But that still didn’t make me feel any better. I gripped the steering wheel tighter.

“When does Jack get home?”

“I think.. I don’t know? Maybe around three?” I breathed out a sigh.

“So you’ll be there before him?”

“Yeah?”

“Why don’t you go see him at the arena?”

“And bother him? After all this?”

“If it’s a media day, you know he won’t be that busy. And it’s better than torturing yourself at his place for hours.”

She was right.

“I’ll have to think about it..”

“Don’t think too much.”

As if I hadn’t been overthinking everything that day already. Our conversation ended with mutual good lucks, and the familiar monotone beep of a dead line. I sighed, wiped the tears from my cheeks, and focused on the road ahead.

My hour in the car was spent flipping through radio stations, trying to find music that was loud enough to distract me or soft enough to calm me. Nothing worked. My jaw was clenched most if not the entire time. My face hurt. My cheeks hurt. My fingers felt stiff every time I pulled a hand from the wheel.

And entering Jersey didn’t help. It felt like a smack upside the head. A loud call back to my horrible reality. I felt like everybody outside the car was staring in. Everybody knew who I was. Everybody hated me. They were all looking at my body.

By the time I had pulled into Jack’s own apartment community, I felt like I was suffocating trying to choke back tears. I parked in the lot outside of his complex. I gave it five minutes. Then another five. Then another five.

I grabbed my phone and opened TikTok this time. I typed Jack’s name into the search and hit enter. The first video eased my mind. Somebody saying how beautiful I was.. how happy they were for Jack.

The next broke my heart. Comparing me to the first girl. To the hot girl. The skinny girl. The perfect girl. I’d seen videos here and there before of people saying how they thought Jack and his ex had been such a beautiful couple. People said they ‘missed’ her. Like they ‘knew’ her. I never let it cut too deep, because they didn’t know I existed.

Now it was blatant. Now they said things like that, because she was better than me.

I put my car in reverse.

Taylor was right. I’d torture myself if I didn’t see Jack.

Closing the distance between myself and the arena was like beating a new nail into my coffin with each mile. It only stressed me out more. But I hoped Jack would take it all off my shoulders. If he had time.

The thought that he’d be too busy also occurred to me, but even being in the same building as him, I decided, would be soothing.

I had pulled into the private parking area before climbing out of my car. My face was red, but I had since stopped the tears. My heart was set on Jack. Nothing else could distract me.

I walked through the double doors at the bottom, stepping right into one of the many entrances. I was quick to find the hall that led to the private facilities. I walked past maintenance closets, and equipment rooms, before my swift pace was brought to an abrupt halt by a body stepping out of the lounge.

I gasped. He grabbed me by the shoulders. When I looked up, my eyes caught Jesper. His gaze softened from surprise to sympathy. We stared at each other, both uncertain of what to say. He spoke first.

“Jack was worried when you didn’t text him that your final was over.” He spoke, as if having an ‘A-ha’ moment. He let me go. I reached to rub my eyes again, fearful that something was still there.

“He didn’t text me all day.” I countered.

“Well.. he didn’t want to distract you. They won’t stop asking him about you.” My brow furrowed in question.

“He’s in with reporters right now.” Jesper gestured down the hall. I assumed he meant Jack was in the locker room. “They won’t let you go.” Tears welled up in my eyes again.

“We can wait for him together?” I nodded.

Jesper walked me into the lounge and grabbed me a bottle of water.

“I was shocked when it came out.. I know you and Jack were trying really hard not to be public.” Jesper sat down on the couch, and patted the empty cushion next to him. I sat beside him as he handed me the bottle of water.

“I shouldn’t have kissed him that night we went out.” I breathed out, shaking my head. I unscrewed the bottle cap and took a sip of the liquid. It helped refresh my dry throat.

“Can’t limit your happiness to closed doors.” Jesper had a point, but if I had limited my happiness to closed doors, I wouldn’t be miserable right now.

“Bratter?” My head shot in the direction of the door at the sound of a Swiss accent. I raised a brow at Nico in the doorway, dressed in a sweater covered in a colorful floral pattern. Nico looked right back at me, staring me down with that, ‘stays between us’ kind of expression.

“What the hell are they making you do in there?” Jesper asked, slinging an arm over the back of the couch.

“Some spring skit.. I don’t know. I acted really bad so they wouldn’t use me for it.” Nico quickly peeled the sweater off. “Your turn.” He stepped into the room and tossed the sweater at Jesper.

The blonde looked rather displeased, but he swiftly grabbed the sweater and stood up.

“You sit with her and wait for Jack then.. okay?” Nico and Jesper exchanged looks before the Swiss man nodded, then the Swede left the room.

“So,” Nico turned back to me. He fixed his hair, pursing his lips. “Jack’s pretty tense.” He plopped down on the couch next to me, my body jolting slightly at the way the sofa bounced. “How are you feeling?”

“Like shit, Nico.” I glared at him. He was trying his best.

“Right… everything’ll iron out.” He pulled his phone from his pocket. “You wanna play chess while we wait?” I glared at him once again. How could a man so thoughtful like Nico be so… lost when it came to this stuff? Because he’s been single for far too long. Jack always tried setting him up, but Nico was never interested. Said there were too many cultural differences.

“I have air hockey on here too.” He gave me that dumb lopsided smile. That smile that I always rolled my eyes at. Now I just wanted to wipe it off his face and tell him he was no help. But I gave in. I needed a distraction. I pulled my legs up onto the couch and turned my body to face Nico. He opened the game and set his phone down between us.

He started the game. I was better than him at it.

“People being mean to you?”

“You have no idea.”

“I checked some of the comments on the Devils post.” I glanced up at him before looking back down at the phone.

“It’s not good.” I shrugged.

“People make fun of my eyebrows sometimes.” I looked back up at him. Nico looked sincere, yet his eyes were still focused on the phone. I had to look back down. If he scored, it would only interrupt the flow of our conversation.

“Kids used to do it a lot in school. I used to ask my sister to fix them for me.” Somehow, the idea of a tiny Nico asking to have his brows waxed was amusing, but I held in my laughter for the sake of his ego. “Kids called me angry birds. I didn’t know what it meant for the longest time. But I knew I just hated my eyebrows.”

I wasn’t sure where he was going with this, but it felt great to be understood nonetheless.

“Now everybody’s calling you a bunch of things, and I know it’s hard. But I’d suggest listening to what the people who love you say. They know better than anybody else.”

I scored on Nico. We both looked up at each other, and I offered him a sad smile.

“Means the world to hear, Nic. Sorry for calling you the Eagle from the muppets.”

His brows knit together in confusion. But I didn’t have time to explain the subtle joke before we both heard quiet complaining in the hall. Jack’s ever gentle voice laced with tension and stress. Maybe even shaking.

“Where’s Nico?”

“God- I just wanna talk to Nico!”

I quickly stood up and took the bottle of water with me as I stepped out into the hall. Jack was gone. My gaze flickered about until he emerged from a room, he must have been on a pretty aggressive hunt for his captain. Jack stopped though when he spotted me. The emotions returned. He looked as stressed as I’d felt before. Now I only felt overwhelmed and sad.

“Babe?” Jack slowly made his way down the hall to meet me by the lounge door. He was gentle when he pulled me into a hug, dipping his head to rest against my shoulder while I wrapped my arms around his neck, careful not to spill my water.

“It’s all gone to shit.” I whispered.

“I’m so sorry..” Jack mumbled in response. Neither of us could have been prepared for this. And it wasn’t either of our faults.

“Jack don’t apologize.” I pulled back, feeling the familiar sting of tears in my eyes.

“I’m done for the day.. I got done early. Let’s just go home.. please.” He sounded as desperate to get out of there as I was to get to him. I nodded.

——————

Jack drove us back to his apartment. I didn’t care enough about my car to be away from him for too long, but I had grabbed my bag. He let me inside before himself, but we never left each other’s eyesight. The second Jack pushed the door shut, his arms were around me. I reached a hand up to hold the back of his head, my other hand resting overtop of his own that lay on my stomach.

“They asked me so many things about you.” Jack mumbled.

“Jack.. baby.. you don’t think..” was now even the time to bring it up? I sighed. “I’m not too big for you.. am I? Or too small? Or too anything?”

Jack pressed a kiss to my shoulder.

“You’re just right. You always have been. Always will be.” He slowly pulled away to walk around in front of me. “Are they saying stuff about your body?” He looked so disgusted by the fact, but Jack was more worldly innocent than one might assume. He never wanted to expect the worst from others.

“I guess so..” I shrugged, rubbing one of my arms. My body language said enough. He could always tell when I was uncomfortable.

“You shouldn’t look.” Jack reached out to rest his hands on my upper arms.

“I know that, Jack. I just- I guess I just wanted them to like me.” I looked down.

“Hey, hey.” Jack moved one of his hands to rest his fingers beneath my chin, tilting my head up. “They will. They’re gonna love you.” His brow furrowed as his eyes searched for my own. But I still couldn’t be bothered to make eye contact. “Babe.. babe look at me.” He wasn’t demanding. He was gentle. Encouraging. He was always so kind to me. Even his behavior in this moment brought tears to my eyes. I looked at him though, and I watched his heart break in slow motion. I watched his eyes grow solemn.

“It’ll just take time. Just give it time.” Jack pulled me into another hug, his arms wrapped tightly around my body as one hand laid between my shoulder blades and the other pressed into the small of my back. I buried my face in his chest. I wanted nothing more than to go back to the day before, when nobody knew about me. When I was just me.. just a university student.

“Jack,” I whispered into his chest. I slowly lifted my head. He looked down at me. His expression showed nothing but devotion. He was ready to pull the stars from the sky if I said the word. “We’ll be with each other through this.. right?”

“Stay with me through spring break…” the offer was a surprise, but one I wasn’t opposed to. We both needed each other, and time away from my college campus was never a bad thing.

“I think I can do that.” I sniffled as I slipped my hands between our bodies, resting them on his chest. Being in his arms was the most comforting thing in the world. Going through this whole ordeal seemed a lot less stressful when I knew it would be spent with him.

“I love you.” Jack whispered, a grin forming on his lips as his hands wandered to my hips, only to eventually find my backside. I jumped at the feeling. “I want you to love yourself too. Please don’t let people convince you you’re not perfect.” Jack’s words were easier said than done.

“I wish you’d just see yourself the way I saw you.. god you’re such an Angel to me.” He pressed a kiss to my head. My heart fluttered as my temperature rose. “They’ll see you that way one day too.” Those promises were debatable, but believing them made me relax. Maybe if I just lived in Jack’s world for a little while.. his positive reality, it would be better in the long run.

Despite the fact that we still had hours left in the day, neither of us seemed too interested in going anywhere or doing anything. Jack and I ended up in bed together. We both had the bare minimum on.. bodies mark-less but heads full of love. I could still feel Jack’s lips pressed against each of my insecurities, and his hands massaging circles into my muscles. Likewise I swore I could still feel his skin beneath my hands. His silky hair between my fingers. Every dip and curve of his muscles committed to memory.

Jack kept me away from my phone in the most effective way.

Moments ago, lips had trailed my shoulders and my arms, down my chest and around my stomach and sides. He’d put the work in on my thighs too, so gentle and sweet. He never left a mark. It wasn’t that kind of night. His kisses were passionate, but not lustful. He was so full of love.. so heartfelt in each of his movements. Jack was one of a kind.

I laid, curled into his side, my head resting in the space between his arm and his chest, just beneath his shoulder.

“Ya know.. I saw a girl today say she missed your ex.” I spoke quietly, afraid to disturb the peace. But it was on my mind nonetheless.

Jack tensed. He shuffled, then picked his head up to look down at me.

“I don’t.” He scoffed. “She was horrible.”

I turned my head to look at him, but Jack rested his head against the pillow again before I could see his eyes.

“What was she like?”

“Nothing like you. She came around at a busy time.. right after the draft. I was too distracted to really pay attention to all the red flags. She was mean.”

“Does it bother you when people say they miss her?”

“It would if there was something to miss.” Jack moved his shoulders to shrug before halting when he realized my head was there. “It would be a different story If it was you.”

“What?”

“If it was you.. I’d miss you too. I was so worried you’d back out when you saw everything today. I didn’t want to lose you.. but by the time I could speak to anybody, our whole social team just put it out there.” Jack slowly turned onto his side, my head fell to the bed. He wrapped his arm around me and I quickly turned to mirror him.

“I would never leave over something like this. You mean too much to me.”

“I’m glad we’re on the same page then.” The sound of my phone ringing from the floor had me slowly turning to get up, but I only got my back turned to Jack before he pulled me against his chest. I yelped out a laugh.

“Jack.” I reached to pry his hand from my stomach.

“No phones.. please?” I sighed. The chances of somebody actually needing me were slim, so I let the call go unanswered.

“Alright. You win baby.” I carefully rolled over, pulling his hand from my body and pressing a kiss to his knuckles. Jack smiled. He loved a lot of things, but being pampered was one of his favorites. I pressed another kiss to the back of his hand, then one to his wrist, before playfully biting and kissing all the way up his arm. Kissing him everywhere just like he’d done to me before. Jack broke into a fit of giggles by the time I reached his forearm. After I got to his shoulder, I raised my lips to his own, pressing a much deeper kiss there to silence him.

When I pulled away, Jack’s baby blues eyed me. I kissed his jaw. “God.. they’re gonna love you so much.” He whispered, shaking his head. Astounded.

“They just don’t know you yet.. but they will.”

“As long as they don’t love me more than you do.”

“Nobody can love you more than I do.”

✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾

#nhl imagine #nhl x reader #jack hughes #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes imagine #nhl hockey #nico hischier #jesper bratt

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