#text: fanaccount

[fyeah-chanyeol]

© No Loey No Life

Chanyeol said, the first ever song he recorded for this album was Back Again. Because it's a song that requires a lot of skills and technique, he was quite nervous if he could pull it off, but he's very happy with how it turned out.

[sxfterhearts]

🍓 + 🕯️ <33 P.S. I think about your jiung cafe fic often, it’s literally so cute and wholesome, I love it so much :)

hello!!!!

firstly: 🍓 how did i get into writing fanfics? back in the day when i was deep in my exo-l phase i used to run a fanaccount on insta! a few friends got together and we created a fanfic acc where we took requests and wrote short fics/imagines on there hhaahha (think: writing a lot on the notes app, then having to segment ur work into paras so insta would allow u to post. the PAIN we went through) and since then i've ventured on AFF, and on tumblr ofc :) i enjoy tumblr more tho, it's a lot easier to post long text (the bar is low for me.. ig was torture)

second: 🕯️ on a scale of 1-10 how much do i enjoy editing! tbh i dont do much editing of my own work - i mostly just smash it out then read over it once or twice for spelling mistakes or inconsistencies. so i'd say its a mostly painless activity for me - a solid 9?? i dont really do much of it though, cos everything i write is short and manageable (i like it that way!)

thanks for sending in the questions <333333

ALSO THANK YOU FOR LOVING THE CAFE FIC. it was my first fic in literally 3 years. and lowkey based on a true story (i have a legit cafe crush and this cafe is a legit cafe fr) im honoured that its taken up space in your mind hehe :)

[fuckyeahjoonmyun]

170815 Fansign - OP’s friend said this doll resembles Junmyeon so OP gave it to him; he said it’s cute and he will take care of it. cr.jiyobs03

[silenthorror]

you guys are lying to yourself. deluding yourself.

[umiwomitai]

I know I’m extra annoying about Jaewon on here but. I’ve been supporting and following him for so. long. He’s been through a lot, and as a fan it was always super hard to find content and keep in touch with him and now. Now tomorrow he’s gonna release his first full album, with 16 full songs by him, after more than 2 years spent not releasing anything despite saying multiples times that he was working on his music and like. It’s finally here. It’s here and I’m so so proud of him and so happy and overwhelmed and just. It was worth it. It’s been worth it. 

[bbcblackjack]

So 19th of November I saw Dimash in London, because his DQ show! I will tell everything under read more. So if you are interested just read it and maybe comment too!

I went to concert with my mom. She has been fan almost same time as me so it was nice to go there with someone. The queue line up was long even before we went there. In queue different Dimash fanclubs gave different things for fans like banners, pins, photos etc. So yeah Dears are very dedicated people! And nice too. 

When concert did start Dimash came out and he looked maybe liitle bit shy. I understand because it was new experience for him. But after few songs he was on fire!!! But on the first second fans were on fire and every one went wild. 

I can’t list all songs which Dimash sang and I’m sorry of that!! He did sang 29 songs and his sister sang one when he went to change clothes and took little break. But songs which I remember he sang is Screaming (omg that rap part!!), All By Myself, MJ Tribute (which includes Billie Jean, Dangerous, Earth Song), Show Must Go On, Daididau, Adagio, Көркемім, 熱鬧星球 and S.O.S for Denis Ten. 

S.O.S was so emotional and that video of Denis in screen was just absolutely beautiful. And it really got me tears when Dimash looked at Denis. 

For nicer things! Dimash has so much energy when he sang faster songs. For ballads it was so emotional every time no matter in which language he sang. His voice is absolutely amazing and you need to hear it live so you can understand his voice better! And I loooved when he played dombra and his costume for that was amazing. He did look like prince. 

Dimash did talk a lot in English, but he did speak some Kazakh too. He even taught his fans to how to say “I love you” in Kazakh. 

And it was so cute when he talked about his parents and then he did ask where his parents are, but he didn’t see them at first. He kept asking that many times. Then his mom stood up and he saw them. 

It was cute too when someone screamed “I love you” and Dimash answered “I love you more.” 

Only minus was that there weren’t encore. It was little bit strange but whole concert was absolutely amazing!!

and after all this I need to tell you that I saw Dimash at the Heathrow airport in Saturday. I can’t believe that I shook his hand, he hugged me and I even have his autograph. I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT!! And he was so close and he was so gorgeous and charming. He even asked me “How are you?” but I didn’t hear that (I heard it from my video) and he just smiled when I said thank you in Kazakh. His smile was so sweet.

I can really say that Dimash is warm, full of love, polite, charming and so many other adjectives that if I would say all this list would be too long :’D 

You can see 4 videos here. 

All this made me love him even more. I didn’t know it was possible but yeah it was. This have been amazing thing in my life and honestly I haven’t been this happy in long time. 

So I can say is, thank you Dimash!

[jeffersonhairpie]

170923 G Dragon MOTTE in Birmingham fanaccount

I was lucky enough to see GD live for the first time since 2013 yesterday and I’m just so happy and I had such a good time so I’m just gonna go ahead and jot down some stuff about the gig for posterity

Security at the venue was a NIGHTMARE and he was onstage late because it was taking them so long to get everyone into the building

It was ok because I made friends with the guy I was sitting next to and it was his first time seeing GD live and he was so excited :’)

I know that the venue wasn’t sold out but the standing area wasn’t even half full and there were whole blocks of empty seats. When he came onstage everyone rushed forward to occupy the empty areas. I had a seated ticket but I didn’t spend one second of that gig sitting down

The crowd may have been small but we were so powerful. There was so much love in the room the entire night.

No Niliria or Shake The World - both of which I would have really like to see live but otherwise the setlist absolutely slapped

Michi GO is still an unspeakably powerful anthem live and I have no idea how it manages to transform from a hyper active piece of pop fun to a stadium filler so easily

Crayon got like...a rock/trap remix??? Idk how that happened but it WORKED that’s a song to shake your ass to

There were a handful of videos shown throughout the show - most of them with some weird but cool medical shit going down showing two doctors building a woman. This woman was shown to be singing Lydia’s part in ROD so I assumed it was her but when the camera finally pulled out (during ROD) IT WAS CL istg I had a lil scream. In that moment we were all SkyDragon shippers

Joah was SO MUCH FUN live omg he was having a blast on stage, his backup dancers all had colourful wigs on, my ass was shaking, it was beautiful. 

He gave is the full art student treatment - this show contains an extended monologue in which he wears a sparkly red jacket that he makes various innuendos about maybe taking off but really he’s talking about his identity and the split between Kwon Jiyong and G Dragon???

Speaking of clothes - this bastard came out in a purple velvet suit with no shirt, stiletto heeled boots and bright red hair and he made it look so good I HATE him. He finished the show in what looked like a lab coat drenched in fake blood and it was so high fashion like HOW?

The whole show is gorgeous to look at, mostly done in block black, white and red with some extra bits thrown in and I just wanna thank whoever did the design bc they killed it

Unless I’m very much mistaken, there’s only been one change to his band since I last saw him which is really cute imo. It was the guitarist’s (Justin’s) birthday 

Just before he did Divina Commedia he stopped to have a chat to us all about how he was feeling and the struggles of being a celebrity who is not the same person in private as in public but kind of wants to be. He got pretty emotional in a good way?? Like it felt like he was getting important stuff off his chest and part way through the crowd started chanting ‘saranghae�� and he went off on one about how much he loves that word and how he loves to feel the love coming from the audience and wants to give it back and how amazed he was to come to a whole new city and have an entire audience speaking Korean to him. Basically it was all really sweet. 

During this lil chat he managed to hit himself in the face with his microphone and all he said about it was ‘every time’ like I am so confused is this grown ass professional regularly wacking himself in the face like that?

If I had died during Crooked that would have been fine. My throat had almost given out from singing along and screaming so much by then but if you don’t go all out for that then what’s the point?

He came down the front for Untitled and I was soooo upset that I didn’t have a standing ticket. I didn’t want the song to end it was so nice having everyone singing along - like I said there was just so much love in the room last night

He was so smiley at the end, I really feel like he had a great time performing for us

Basically it was a really great gig and I’m so sad that it’s over and so happy that I got to be there. If you ever have a chance to see GD live i thoroughly recommend that you take it because as a performer he’s a whole different calibre and he will make whatever godforsaken amount of money you have to pay to get into the venue seem like an entirely worthwhile investment

[nochuie]

JUNGKOOKS HAIR IS BLACK

[hollandsmoose]

Noticed Shawnmendesupdates1x hasn’t posted since 13 October. She also hasn’t liked any of his pics since. She’s been online though. Seen her like a pic on a Harry Styles fanaccount a couple of days ago and she just changed her profile pic (the one of her with Shawn) into something else. Also saw she deleted the text she “loves and supports Shawn unconditionally” from her bio. Wonder what’s going on. Is she unstanning Shawn...? 👀 We know she isn’t a fan of the clownerie. That girl has been a fan since 2016 and has put so much of her time and effort in that account over the years. If that isn’t a sign for his team they’re messing up big time... When one of his biggest if not the biggest fanaccount on IG is unstanning him, you’re clearly doing something wrong.

oh wow... i hope she's okay :(

[fyeah-chanyeol]

240930 Apple Music Fansign: OP asked Chanyeol if he originally planned to sing pop songs instead of songs from the countries he will go to, he meant songs from foreign artists like Post Malone, etc. And he said it was supposed to be something like that. So I said, he could just upload them on his Soundcloud instead and he asked which song I would like and I said Lost Stars and he said the song is really difficult, but he will try! 🥹

© no_loey_no_life

[fybaekchen]

{FANACCOUNT} 170216 CBX Fansign

Chen: Baekhyun~ee and I should have sang "비가와-Rain” together!

OP: Number 1 Singer, hello!! 

Chen: No, no (pointing at Baek) #1 Singer is here! 💓

(OP was crying hard) Baek: Why are you crying? Don’t cry! Why are all the people who got autographs from Chen coming crying 😂💕 

(CBX hyping each other’s songs) 

Baek: #AnnyeongMottae!

Chen: They said it may #Rain today~ Baekhyun-ssi I suddenly wanna #CallYouBAE

[jjongs-lubricants]

Official SHINee World Toronto Fan Account (Nit Picky Vers)

This is my official fan account of the entire show :D Unfortunately I do not remember 100% when each account happened for each song, so I will put which set the accounts happened in and if I remember the name of the song it will be stated.Also also Im gonna leave out things that can be found in fancams or other fan accounts. This fan account is also my personal experience and interpretations and their might be other expressions of the same event being posted so make sure to read all the shawols fan accounts.

 *This fan account begins from the lining up and ends with me sitting in my seat at the end realizing that my life will never be as good as it was in those moments with shinee in the venue, thats the time line. It also includes as much detail as possible from SHINee themselves to the lit AF female security guard. Also of course my witty commentary sorry not sorry

While waiting in line 3/4 back up dancers exited the stage door to smoke. For some reason none of the fans in line recognized them (honestly I went to the concert by myself and everyone else was in a group with their friends talking between themselves) The back up dancers seemed surprised by the line (the line wrapped around the venue 1 1/2 times it was huge) and it seemed like they were talking about that.

The organizers for the event were going around the lines with their phones taking footage of the line and kept saying that SHINee was going to see the footage. With this in mind of course I milly rocked every time and dabbed. It was my homage to Minho (as in I hope he sees it, is like “yo someone dabbed” and then dabs! Any dream is worth having dont judge me) 

While waiting for things to start the security guards were explaining how we cant take pictures and not to push and to stay safe. There was this one lit female security that said to me and the people sitting around me “You guys really think we would let you minors in the same room with your favorite boy band and not have a mom here to monitor you guys?? Well guess what guys Im a mom and this is my house so my rules!!” She was joking of course but it was so funny she was honestly so lit.

Fans also gave this security guard some fan merchandise and she was participating with the fans during the concert.

Behind me were the Japanese Fansite masters that organized the donation of the fan lights. They gave me and the people around me that didnt have fan lights merch from different tours. I got a fan light from the 2014 Im Your Boy Japanese Tour and a Onew note pad.

One of the Japanese fansite masters were wearing Jonghyuns X-Inspiration sweater (the official merch!) and I asked her if she went to his concert. She got so happy that I recognized it  and said yes! She then gave me a Jonghyun hand held mirror after asking me if Jonghyun is my ultimate bias in SHINee (I said yes of course lol cause he is perfect holy shit)

The first VCR was not working lol. The first time the video would cut out but the audio would keep going. They got half way through the VCR before restarting it :/ And then the same thing happened the second time. At this point everyone just wanted to get to SHINee so some people around me were saying to skip the VCR. The third time it worked though.

In the first set Taemin was having trouble with his microphone and went to stage left to get it fixed. He hopped back into the choreography so easily! 

Also in the same set, Onew was having problems with his microphone and was making these signals to stage left, it looked like some cute signage going on.

There was a lag between SHINee and the video capture on the screen :/ it was a bit distracting but actually looked cool at parts too.

During the first Talk Segment Minho said “Welcome to SHINee WORLD!!!” In English. (Thats when I knew that it was the beginning of the end)

They made Taemin introduce Prism in English and the boy deadass looked so betrayed lol. He finally said “Next song is, Prism” after giggling a bunch!

When SHINee had to restart Prism because of the technical difficulties, Key said “Lets take it from the top” and booped himself on the /top/ of the head! (lol get it /top/ as in lets take it from the /top/ HA! GENIUS I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!)

Near the end of the first set, the female mom security guard passed by me and I (being a nerd) milly rocked at her lol. She did it back though and we danced together for like, 30 seconds! She is definitively a SHINee fan now!

Taemin was dancing exceptionally well during Prism. I got the feeling that he really really likes the choreography for that song. It was so beautiful!

Then when they had to wait a second to restart Prism again Onew said in English “Not yet” super cutely and Jonghyun started saying “We need your voice! We need your voice” in English.

There was a lot of OnHo going on through out the first set it was amazing they are truly the terrible two. 

When Jonghyun was apologizing for the technical difficulties, the crowd starting chanting “It’s Okay” in Korean.  We said it so much that Jonghyun put his hand up as in to shoosh us lol. He looked overwhelmed by our support :D

During one of the songs in the second set, Jonghyun was in the front for his line, but when trying to back up to go to the back of their formation, he almost tripped over Taemin. It didnt seem to phase him and he was so professional!

Throughout the Talk Segments Jonghyun would say “Yes” in English and it was so cute and out of nowhere omg

Also throughout the show there was a fan behind me screaming bloody murder it was awesome but also the people around her myself included were so concerned lol. She sounded like she was being dragged away by the void and the last thing she wanted to do was scream Jonghyuns name.

Also fans were cheering for Onew but instead were saying Jinki. Onew looked a bit surprised by this. Im not sure if in a good way or in a bad way though. 

During ready or not, Minho was saying “Jump Jump Jump” and of course everybody got super lit!

Also also Minho was trying to get Taemin to jump along with him but Taemin was not feeling it. He was super tired at the concert :( (But honestly for someone who was so tired he did super freaking well like again its not fair im actually going to sue I have my lawyer on the phone right now)

During the third set SHINee threw the famous SHINee Balls to the crowd. Minho made an extra effort to throw them as far as he possibly could! 

Also during Ready or Not Key went to stage far right (past the speakers) and blew a kiss to one of the fans :D (you know she dead tho like rip)

In the last set there was a really quick transition from one song to the next, and SHINee didnt have time to go back to center stage for the song and had to rearrange themselves. However, they didnt rearrange themselves immediately. They gradually got into the proper positions while performing the song. Again, so professional! 

The white confetti near the end was cut to look like white rose petals they were gorgeous! It honestly looked like a scene from a movie.

During the last song, Encore, Taemin was a bar (or 3 seconds) too early for his line and all you heard from him was a small “eh” and then he waited and sang in the proper time. It was so cute!!!

When they were leaving, the crowd was moaning in upset and Key teased us by moaning back at us!! 

Lastly, when the lights came back on and SHINee World Concert 5 Toronto had officially ended, Im sitting in my seat looking around at the fans and the confetti and streamers on the floor, im taking in everything that happened, my final reaction was to burst into tears LOL.

[dandyuism]

190718 Dandyu @ PUBG Idol Super League  Live stream fanaccounts

Sunny sniped down her first opponent and she asked Taeyeon to praise her.  Sunny’s aim in the game is to find Taeyeon and follow her instead of finding opponents haha She was complaining about how much they had to run around cause they couldn’t find opponents.  Also earlier Sunny found a flare gun (used to shoot and call for a plane & supplies) Taeyeon rushed her to drop it so she could pick up and use it But turns out the flare gun didnt have the ammo LOL.  For this round Taeyeon will be following Sunny on the plane.  But in the end Sunny asked Taeyeon where they should go and Taeyeon chose it haha  Sunny doesn’t know how to fall from the plane, and Taeyeon was telling her that they flew past their destination Sunny did a quick turnaround and they landed at their destination. Right after that Sunny went “How was I? How was I? Did I do well?” Taeyeon “Yes~” Sunny asked Taeyeon for compliments after she killed her first kill last round too HAHA . Taeyeon wishes Sunny hadn’t died, but Sunny’s saying that’s what she has been doing this whole time by playing by herself (a.k.a saying that she herself was useless even if alive). Taeyeon’s telling Sunny to explain what’s happening hahaha. Sunny narrated stuff like “She entered the water. She’s swimming.” Then apologised that she already died. They said they bought new clothes for their characters. Then Sunny joked that it must be easy for others to headshot them cause of how big their sunflower heads are.  Taeyeon drew the punishment about revealing a TMI And Sunny drew a punishment relating to singing They decide to swap theirs I think Sunny talked about the weight of Sogeum and smth about dorm(?) didn’t hear.  Sunny told Taeyeon to sing diff version of Four Seasons since she did EDM last time Taeyeon sung a trot version of Four Seasons.  Taeyeon also did the TMI thing, and said her TMI was that Zero was outside waiting Sunny said that’s not a TMI since everyone knows that So they brought it in, and Taeyeon shared some TMI on Zero. Sunny’s question is what the topic in Soshi’s chatting room is Sunny says she doesn’t know if she can say, but they’re talking about vacation/holiday plans Though they don’t know if they can manage to match their days, they’re talking about it, and Sunny says just thinking about it makes her happy. Taeyeon adds that they’re also sharing a lot of pet photos in it. Taeyeon’s question is what she thinks about Sunny’s gaming skills Taeyeon says it differs from time to time, says that the gun she gets doesn’t matter to her (its a ‘good’ thing, except that’s the case for Sunny bc she doesn’t know about the guns at all lol). And she just wishes for Sunny to follow her well Sunny says she just wishes to follow Taeyeon, and she will practice at home and try her best lol.  Someone sent in this to Taeyeon “Taeyeon do you know what’s the difference between you and the stars? The stars are in the sky, and you are in my heart” Sunny faked puking, and Taeyeon said isn’t this a confession? This isn’t a question. Sunny asked if Taeyeon likes the mountain or sea Taeyeon said she liked the sea, and Sunny said she does too But Taeyeon corrected herself later “Oh did I say sea? I meant the mountain". Taeyeon said she doesn’t really like the sea Sunny said its nice during the Summer But Taeyeon said its humid in Summer   Summer vs Winter S: Summer T: Winter Taeyeon side glared at Sunny LMAO. Iced Americano vs Hot Americano Tae: Iced Sun: Iced Sunny said she knew they’d match on this. Coke vs Cider(Sprite) Tae: Cider Sun: Cider Then Taeng sung part of Norazo’s song w ‘cider'.  Mulnaengmyun vs Bibim(?) naengmyun Tae: Mul Sun: Mul  Tomato Pasta vs (didnt hear) pasta Tae: Tomato Sun: Tomato Taeyeon said that if they had a schedule together, the manager must have an easy time.  Beach 탱 vs Sea 썬 Summer 썬 vs Winter 탱 Ice Americano 탱썬 vs Hot Americano Pork 썬 vs Beef 탱 Calls 탱썬 vs Text Cola vs Cider 탱썬 Mulnaengmyun 탱썬 vs Bibimnaengmyun Tomato Pasta 탱썬 vs Cream Pasta Melo Movie vs Fantasy Movie 탱썬 Rice Cake 탱 vs Bread 썬 . Sunny drew a red bikini on her pouch, and Taeyeon said Sunny only knows things like these haha Taeyeon said the name tag w her name (the sm merch) is cute And Sunny said it reminds her of high school Taeyeon Said she was so fair and like a chick (as in small chicken - chick) back then. Sunny said that their 12 years of signing experience didnt go to waste (cause they signed the merch really quickly I think?) And Taeyeon said yup they really signed a lot. Taeyeon said someone asked her to sign on their passport pages Sunny said someone asked her to sign on their pan, a frying pan like the one in PUBG lol. Sunny says she knows what Taeyeon likes - they know what one another does but they’re both 100% the other. Taeyeon asked Sunny to name the chickens she likes I didnt hear what Sunny said (soo smth flavour) Taeyeon likes Honey Coco/Koko(?) Said she likes the sweet taste. They matched on most of their meal/food preferences And Taeyeon said their manager is laughing there, said its easy when they have schedules together cause the manager can just order the same one dish. Sunny said that the match well since they had lived together in the same room in dorms and know one another well, and also when they travel together.. (couldnt catch what she said). Sunny’s TMI, she did her nails yesterday Since she ended her culinary program recently, so she did her nails And Taeyeon asked her to show her nails to her Sunny said their nails are similar, pink and sparkly. Taeyeon’s TMI is that she cooked recently Kimchi rice (quiet silence dandyu staring at one another) Taeyeon: … it was tasteless Sunny said she wanted to ask but didnt hahaha they’re using the “Sleep well” ending again this time. Near the end dandyu saw the screen that a lot of fans were sending hearts, and they pretended to eat it (like they do in vlive)

cr.jasminelep                

[thejoonmoon]

you know what’s a good concept? train rides with bts

[bbcblackjack]

170617 Jongup&Himchan’s fanmeeting/24K fansign (fan account)

Okay I will start how our day went. We went to chill at Digital Media City because there was MBC’s music show recording and it was first biggest mistake. It was literally burning hot and I felt like I’m gonna die at there. We didn’t saw anyone and left there, but then at front of SBS Prism Tower there were Baby’s and I noticed Jongup’s food truck and I was like omg Jongup gonna be here at any moment. So we started waiting...

We waited almost over hour and then Jongup came with Himchan. They looked happy and I was so happy to see Himchan to smile like that. They talked a little bit but I don’t remember what :’D 

Jongup had megafon problems and even when Himchan and him switched their megafones that didn’t work. 

When event was over Himchan said something along lines “We are busy so we gonna left now” Everyone went like “noo” but I was like  YESS. Me and my friend were almost late at 24K’s fansign. So when Himup started to leave to their van me and my friend started to run to metro. I looked at back at me and saw how Himchan and Jongup looked little bit confused :’D Sorry guys.

We did get in time to 24K’s fansign! 

First Kisu and Hongseob came to stage and started to talk something. Kisu sang little bit and then Hongseob jumped there. Then they left and came back with all members. They talked a little bit and sat down. 

I was sooo nervous. Like literally I was shaking. Normally I don’t even react like that. 

When I was waiting my turn before I went to stage I literally felt like I’m gonna throw up. Gladly I didn’t.

First was Hongseob. He was literally sweetheart and tried to speak english to me. Our conversation went something like this:

H: Hii :)! I have broken english... *he looks at my name from the note I wrote in hangul* “Do you write this as S A R A?” *writes his signature* 

Me: Yeah just like that!

H: Oh thank god! (he said something but I didn’t catch what ;_;)  *awkward silence* Where are you from?

Me: Finland

H: Ooh! We have been there. In Finland. In Helsinki.... *awkward silence* Do you live in Seoul?

Me: No.

H: I hope you move here... You gonna be happy... When you meet Cory... He speaks English very well. 

Next was Jeonguk. This is most awkward thing I have felt in my life. Like I didn’t hear anything and he didn’t hear me because everyone shout too loud. 

J: Hi! What is your name?

Me: Sara

J: *writes my name* Is this right? 

Me: Yeah :)

J: I am so sorry... But I don’t speak English at all. :((

Me: It’s alright

Then Jeonguk tried to speak something to me but yeah like I said we didn’t hear each others. We both came to closer to each others but still we didn’t hear :’D

Cory was next :’’D He started with Korean and I looked him like this: o.o I understand something but not everything so it was little bit awkward :’D 

C: So you don’t speak Korean? *ask this in Korean*

Me: No *I answer in Korean*

Then he wrote his signature and my name and there was little problem there :’D He asked my name and I said Sara like how we say in Finland then he looked confused and asked many times my name and then he was like “Aah Sara”

Then Cory started to ask me a tons of questions and I didn’t even catch one. I just looked him again like stupid :’D 

C: Where are you from?

Me: Finland

C: Do you study here?

Me. No. I am here for vacation.

C: Oh! How long have you been here?

Me: Two weeks.

C: Do you like been here? Are you gonna come here again? Are you gonna move here? I hope you gonna. 

Me: I don’t know. 

C: Can I know your age? *ask this little bit nervously* 

Me: Yeah. I’m 20.

C: Whaat? That young! No no that old! You are so young!! You are baby!! I thought you are so much younger than that. You look so much younger than that. 

Me: Ah okay...

C: Baby *he just repeats this and turn to his members next to him and say to them that I am baby and then turns back to me* 20 is still baby age. 

Me: Okay thanks.

C: thank you :)!

Next was Changsun. I don’t remember much. I only remember he was so cute!!

C: Hi :)! 

Me: Hi :)

C: I have very bad english. I am so sorry that I don’t speak English. *he says this with strong accent it didn’t bother me tho*

Then we just looked at each others and we didn’t say anything to each others. He just grabbed my hand and hold that till I went to next member. 

Jinhong was next. He started talking almost right away.

J: Hi :)!

Me: Hi :)!!

J: I speak English too! Cory is of course better than me. *he starts to show everything with his hand* Then comes me and then all others are under me. *says this very proudly*

Me: Okay. *laughs a little bit*

J: So what is your name?

Me: Sara

J: *writes my name not in Hangul* Is this right?

Me: Yeah :)

J: Yeaaah! Where are you from?

Me: Finland

J: We were there. Concert.

Me: Yeah I was there at your concert.

J: Woow! Finland is very beautiful place. I liked being there. 

Next was Kisu and I wanted to die at there :’D 

K: Hi :))))!

Me: Hi :)!

K: *sign my album* What is your name?

Me: Sara.

K: I am sorry. I don’t speak English. :((((

Me: It’s okay, I don’t speak Korean :)

*silence not awkward tho. We just look at each others*

K: Hey.. Where are you from?

Me: Finland

K: Aah Finland! We had concert there. 

Me: Yeah I was there.

K: Ooh wow! ... How you say I love you in Finnish?

Me: Minä rakastan sinua.

K: Minä rakastan dsjgbjsgdsgkj (he didn’t say sinua)

Me: Minä rakastan sinua

K: Minä rakastan sinua! :)))) *flirted* I love you! I love you! *then he said this same thing again two times in Korean*

Me: I love you too :)!

K: Oh really?!! I love you!!! *grabs my hand and holds it* Thank yoou bye byee!

Me: Thank you *I said this in Korean*

K: Ooh! Thanks *says this in Korean* 

I started to move to next person but Kisu just holds my hand and then he point with his other hand towards his headband and say “Chicken” and smiles a lot. I smiles back to him and then I let go of his hand. 

Hui was last. 

H: You are from Finland. You were in our concert!

Me: *frozen don’t say anything*

H: *sign my album* 

*awkward silence*

H: Thank you.

*awkward silence part 2. I just look at him confused*

Me: *I stand up* Thank you *in Chinese* 

H: You speak Chinese o.o! 

Then I just left there put I almost tripped there because of tablecloth. Hui noticed that and looked me like “are you alright”

Everyone else did grab my hand only Jeonguk and Hui didn’t. Like I didn’t even offer my hand to them they just took it. I was longest time in front of Kisu ‘cause he just didn’t let go of my hand. 

Then I went back to my seat and just took some photos and Hongseob and Cory sometimes looked at my camera and started to do aegyo or show hearts. Kisu looked couple times too. Then signing ended they talked a little bit and left. 

[anenium]

i’ve never loved a music group as much as i love seventeen. i was over stanning idol groups by the time i ran into them and was focusing on university and finishing my thesis and etc, so i can’t stress enough how much each and every member are ALL extremely special to me for me to make a whole new space in my life for them. but obviously i have a favorite, and he has treated me so well since the very start, and i want to mention beforehand that this entire ...wall of text is gonna be about me as seungkwan’s fan and my personal anecdotes from seeing him at ideal cut, and not that much about the other members. it’s not that i don’t love them very much! but seungkwan is extremely special to me and he is the comforting and reliable sunlight who i want to scream to the world about. 

i don't need to tell you guys how hard it is to be an international fan cos most of you all know those pains.. and i was definitely one of the carats hoping there would be some announcement for NA tour before i finally bit the bullet and decided to go ideal cut. but there's also smth else that hurts, that i haven’t explicitly shared. of all my insecurities about being a carat, i often myself particularly insecure about being forgotten by seungkwan. 

i know it’s a lot to expect him or any idol to remember their all fans, that’s exactly why i don’t mention this insecurity on twitter (til now...). being forgotten by your idol is smth that i know has put people off of their biases completely. i’m lucky because boo himself a couple years ago told someone to relay to me a tiny message, so without me asking him about it, i suddenly was aware he knew for sure i existed and knew i went to see him at schedules as his fan. and i was so happy and enamored by the idea that i never wanted it to change ;;

but ofc i moved away, and i never properly talked to him in the first place (fansign is expensive and i was a full time uni student hhhh) so i have a constant worry that it’ll seem like i stopped supporting him or he will just forget completely that he has me as his fan. which again.... is totally fair and in the first place i would never even ask him if he remembers me IF i got the chance. the last time he saw me was... 2017 summer, so who knows if he remembers my face or my sign. or if he even knows my sign = me ?

i tried not to have any expectations or hopes about interacting with seungkwan during ideal cut. it’s a concert, first of all, not a meet and greet or a fansign. and i knew i might be far away or he might be on a different side of the stage, and i also knew that i wanted to just listen to him singing after a long time and experience concerts with my friends who i don’t get to see often.

but somehow, even if it’s just cos of my neon bright sign with his name on it, seungkwan sees me. he smiled at or waved to me (or even both ;;;;;) in every country i visited after he’d seen my sign and that’s so.. the chances of that happening is completely crazy. but what’s important to me is how he acted when he saw it. every single time was meaningful to me and by manila all my worries were gone.

i did get to see the boys at the airport in incheon before the concert during my layover to jakarta and even had a cute interaction outside with soonyoung ; 3; so my heart was a little more at ease the next day at the concert cos i got that “refill” of seeing them already. i spent time with dani and met a lot of carats handing out my transparent fans and i don’t remember feeling that stressed or nervous, somehow. dani and i stood against the back bar of our standing section and we had an amazing view and i finally saw pinwheel and the lights hitting seungkwan’s face and i was so ;;;; filled with awe at the end that these kids i ran into three years ago have become such amazing performers, you know? 

i could write miles about each concert, how dynamic hht has become, how much joy i feel watching performance team, all the nostalgia when they all perform Adore U and the burst of energy that explodes in the venue when the boys sing Run To You like.. carats and seventeen running to each other. my heart felt so full after seeing Seventeen at their own concert after such a long time. at the end and when i was already giving up the hopes i told myself not to have, boo finally saw my sign.

he looked so HAPPY. i can’t even tell you how my heart leaps to watch the fancam of the moment he smiles at it. he just smiled so brightly and he returned the little heart i shot him after a couple seconds. i seriously watched that moment so many times because im so happy that HE smiled as big as he did ; ; he was happy cos of the sign, happy cos of dani’s and my reaction after he saw it, and.. idk how else to say it, i just want to make a blanket out of that smile ; ; im so happy that i can be the reason for his smile. 

at the fansign the next day i was “meeting” him and vocal unit and i was really scared... cos i already knew it was going to be fast (and it was damn FAST...). but then, he saw my sign even before we went up to them at the tables. it’s understandable i got a shock, right ; ; he and jeonghan staring down my camera made me wonder if he recognized my sign from the previous day... and i had already been worried because i wasn’t sure what to say to them.

actually i told seungkwan i loved him twice before, once just saying it through the kbs window in 2016, and once at hitouch at diamond edge new york. but at kbs there’s no way to know 100% what he said (cos the glass..........) and at diamond edge he just... “thank you~ OHOHOHOHOHOHO” ....:D so naturally i was on the fence about saying it again. cos i thought isn’t it.. a bit redundant if i say it.. again? shouldn’t i say something more creative or meaningful? and i’m being honest that when i see all the fanaccounts that boo returns an “i love you too~” at hitouches i feel a little jealous and reluctant. but bethany kicked some sense into me right before i went up and i wanted to share it. 

it’s true that i want him to know how loved he is by his fans ; ; especially after earlier this year when he admitted his insecurities about loving himself.. even if he’s been seemingly content lately i would still want him to be reassured as many times as possible. so i sucked it up and i did!!! just!!!! “hi! i REALLY love you!” at jakarta fansign. 

and...........i have no idea what he said back to me cos it was too loud ^^

but it’s alright BECAUSE i got to see his pretty smile when i said it. i have no regrets about saying it! i dunno about next time (if there’s next time) but this time i was really happy that i could look him in the eyes and say tht i love him cos i DO adore him a whole bunch u___ u;;;; and although i’d have liked to express my feelings in more, accurate words, i was only in front of him for two or three seconds and that was the best thing i could have said to him, now thinking in retrospect. and gosh he was definitely tired that afternoon, but he was so so handsome ;;;; seeing him eye to eye never gets any easier. 

in singapore dani and i were joined by my beloved jo! and we three were together in standing~ and shock of my life, at the end of the concert boo pointed to my sign and smiled and waved and as dani put it, once she heard me and jo screaming and freaking out it was like a “check” ; ; it’s not the first time he points to that sign in particular so i just felt.. reassured in that moment. he doesn’t smile with surprise like in jakarta, but still he’s pointing and grinning and acknowledging me and inside im like YESYESYESYESYESYE- part of it too is, this is happening and im with my friends and ; ; i know im not just imagining things, you know?

in malaysia we got $oundcheck and i didn’t say this yet but soundcheck was just as amazing for us as the concert ; ; we got to be at the front (there weren’t queue numbers so... it was a sacrifice of a lot of WAITING) and luckily, there was a pause in the music at the beginning while the boys were at the extended stage near carats. so they interacted with us a bit and! i got to wave to hansol and hosh and.. that’s when boo looks down and he saw my sign; ;;; but cos the venue was all lit up for rehearsal he actually looked me in the eyes and wave-waved calmly to me ; ; and actually.. he didn’t smile~ but he was barefaced and it’s just soundcheck after all~

i don’t think he ever waved to me without cracking a smile before so i felt a little ? when overthinking it but.. his expression was kinda nice, too ;; performing is his job after all, so just making sure he looks at me and waves during their technical rehearsal is really sweet of him, even if he’s not feeling super HAPPY or something at that moment, he took the time to acknowledge i was there. i want to stress that what i really learned over time is that boo really knows how important and meaningful it is to wave to fans and try to give individual acknowledgement when he can, even when it’s small, esp cos seventeen can’t always meet us individually. 

i was at the opposite side from where i was the three other concerts in kl, and i can confidently say... boo was not on the right side much ^^~ but it was nice to pay a lot more attention to the other members, and see a different angle of all their performances!! i have no regrets being on the right side because frankly there’s some members i might have no memories of from this tour if i hadn’t been on the opposite side of boo. 

next is~ manila! and manila was a dream ; ; i was with dani and many friends and we were right THERE at the bar and i hadn’t been that close to the boys at a concert.. ever. at recordings yes, and hitouch yes, but dani told me being close at concerts is different and it absolutely was. seventeen is a group that shines the most when they’re performing and concerts are where they thrive. 

seungkwan is born to be on stage. he mentioned that he works hard on his expressions but, i wonder if he knows it’s more than just his hard work. the way his voice carries emotions and his body language when he feels the music he does in ways that are just so *him*. it’s the lights bouncing off his cheeks in pinwheel when he’s singing to the sky. it’s how he hits you in the heart when he belts his lines in Run To You and he’s dramatically swaying on his mic stand, and his entire aura change during Flower. when he coolly gives his ending speeches with heavy eyelids cos he’s tired but all anyone is looking at are his full cheeks and how pretty his eyes look outlined with champagne-colored glitter. his comfortable warm smiles to carats at the end of every concert and all the efforts he put in to communicate with us, to have fun with us and make each country feel special to seventeen. 

habit is my favorite song from the kids. i can’t even casually listen to it because it triggers a lot of attached feelings ; ; i’d seen it four times on the tour but, only in manila i felt a tear sliding down my face. cos i was looking at seungkwan and thinking that it was my last time to hear it, and my last time watching him sing it, and suddenly i was so overwhelmed with affection for him. i was trying to listen but in my head i can only remember him doused in lights and his passionate singing and how much i'm thankful for him suddenly ; ; and also i was ... embarrassed to be crying~

when vocal unit came up to the extended stage for pinwheel i tried to hard to just listen to him ;; he was so close and i was looking up at him and seriously just ;;;;; he was the most beautiful human being i’ve ever seen in that moment. he is never more gorgeous than when he’s singing and there’s really no one like him.

when the boys performed ‘thinkin’ about you’, they interacted with fans a bit at previous stops, so i had my sign out just in case~ and when the boys walked around in a circle at the end of the song, boo looked SO CUTE cos he borrowed coups’ leader flag and was marching around with it ;;;;; idk why but that made it even more special that he saw me at that moment, and smiled at me with big eyes before walking by ;;;;;; i looked at dani and she looked at me and we shglfndjkh;fkhlfd together ;;;;;;;

during their final ment the boys sat down at the main stage to talk to carats, and boo was diagonal from my spot, so i could see him well. i didn’t hold up my sign from the start cos.. he was literally so far away i didn’t think he could see anyone beyond the fans around the main stage. but during hosh’s ment i kinda thought i had a chance and he was looking our way.. so i unfolded my sign and BAM he reacted alfdjklgjkdfls!!! 

actually watching a fancam of it now, what i couldn’t tell then, is that while he was nodding he had legit raised his eyebrows at me l o l. and he just kept nodding and grinning while at the side hoshi was giving his ment, and for some dumb reason i ducked my head behind my sign in shock and in a fancam i can literally see tht he was about to look away—but doesnt ;;;; dani is next to me seeing this happen and i’m not hiding behind my sign anymore and she’s pointing at me to confirm it’s really ME and he gives a thumbs UP and im DYING AT THIS POINT. 

[dani next to me: HER? HER ? OK DAMN BOO YOU’RE SO AMAZING YES OK DONE OK YES YES STILL THUMBS UP? OK-]

i made another ridiculous finger heart to him and he’s STILL NODDING ND WAVES AND GIVES ANOTHER THUMBS UP AND THEN!!! hoshi was in the middle of the stage belting his “지금 몇 시???” and the moment is over~ honestly it seemed more dramatic and long at the time but... i was seriously in awe. i don’t remember any ments after that (i didn’t even know what hosh had done until after the concert) until seungkwan started talking himself cos i couldn’t believe that happened..

the ending felt bittersweet ofc ; ; the boys were literally right THERE and they all looked so gorgeous and handsome and i wish the “aju NICE”’s could have lasted for an hour or ten...  but there was still send-off.

i always have this issue where i miss a lot of the members because i start panicking looking for seungkwan... ofc the same happened now. i don’t really remember the order, but i only remember that i waved to hoshi who was first and also got to say bye to josh as he walked by, his eyes got so big and his smile was really pretty ; ; and then second to last there was boo.

like i mentioned in my tweets, he was in a cap for send-off~ and as he’s walking towards where i was i held my sign over the railing so he could see it as he approached and!! ofc he did ;; he was already smiling but he spotted it and grinned right at it and nod-nod-nodded and even pointed directly to it and istg his smile was... different once again. he literally looked like he was expecting to see it and i felt so ; ; even if he couldnt hear me i called to him that i’ll see him next year (which wasn’t *technically* true.. i went to see them at the mall the next day heh) and he was still walking by and was already even past me but!!! dani had called his name and he had looked up from my sign and was smiling really at *me* ; ; he wasnt actually last but.. i distractedly watched the back of boo’s cap until he was at the end of the tiny hall and turned into another room out of sight..

and then i was just crying behind my uchiwa. hehe.

the next day was the manila saem fansign and as everyone else said, it was damn crowded. and i was damn far away with dani. and it was so hot and loud and we were actually thinking of leaving because it was just too much... by the time seventeen arrived and were at the fansign stage i had a hard time holding my camera up, and i don’t even *have* a bazooka lense. still, i had a smaller “boo” sign dangling from my cam, and dani was holding up my lucky sign where boo could see somewhere next to my head~

i really don’t know how he can see it from so far away ; ; but he did, right before they started meeting carats for autographs. it was the same as always, i saw him seeing me first and i dropped my camera to wave and THEN i started taking pictures.. he is seriously the most patient. ever. i took precious photos of him making a “V” with his fingers and smiling at my camera and the moment he looked away in my mind i just thought.. REST.

i wish i knew how to better explain the feeling after attending their tour. it’s the first time i think i feel the word... lucky. before, at the radio and at recordings and hitouches, i just felt that my consistency going to see seventeen and specifically cheering for seungkwan made it possible for him to remember me well and acknowledge me as his fan. but at this tour, where there’s so many thousands of people and it’s hard to see everyone in the audience, and at fansigns where it was crowded or when i really thought he wouldn’t be able to see me, he still did. im lucky that seungkwan is seungkwan. i’m lucky that he’s attentive to carats, that he’s understanding and kind, and that he has FANTASTIC eyesight.

i don’t really know if he knows i’m the same fan from sukira, or if he remembered the sign from previous years’ concerts and recordings. but for me, it’s enough that by the end of the tour he could smile so comfortably at me like ; ; i’m 100% sure he remembered that.. my sign = ...me. and that makes me so happy in itself. i feel sad often that i can’t support boo as much as i used to, that i can’t cheer for him where he can hear it and that i can’t take pretty photos to share of him like before. during Oh My promotions in july, i hesitated to get a signed page from him... exactly because i didn’t want to ask something like, if he remembered me or not. instead~ i asked for him to cheer me up until i could see him again. the friend who was getting the page for me told him i was from the us, had gone to kcon japan just to see him earlier this year, and that i was going to the ideal cut stops, too.

(i’m clarifying here for anyone new~ that the trip to japan was planned with my friend from uni, and seventeen was conveniently announced for kcon after my trip was almost fully sorted. it was too perfect to not go see them * ^*)

seungkwan verbally responded to her saying it must be hard for me to go all the way there ;; in english and korean on my page he wrote thank you, and that he really wished for us to meet ;;;; and thinking back to that page some months later, it came true as much as it possibly could have. 

im lucky that seungkwan is the one i came to like. because even if he doesn’t know anything about me or even my name, he knows im someone who likes him and that’s enough for him to take a moment to let me know he knows i’m there. and i know that i’m not the only fan of his he takes his time to acknowledge. every concert tour there are new fan accounts of his kindness and attentiveness, his friendly interactions with carats and people writing how much they appreciate him after seeing him in person or on stage. he’s such a special and talented individual with such a big heart and i hope that everyone can feel reassured that.. if there’s an idol who will do their best to take your love and return it tenfold, seungkwan is definitely one. 

i know i mention it only vaguely but i have had such a difficult, tiresome year. i don’t feel like i’m exaggerating when i say the happiness i got from seeing seungkwan, seventeen, and most of all my friends last month is what’s going to get me through the rest of it. im not sad (yet...) that the tour is over, or that it’ll be a while until i see seventeen again. im still so ridiculously happy, and i feel motivated to work hard until the next time ; ; im not worried anymore, because seungkwan never fails to cheer me up whether i’m at a concert on the other side of the world or i’m just seeing his post on instagram on my own side. i would give him a planet’s worth of love if i could and i hope he continues to recieve praise and affection for as long as possible, for just being his wonderful self.