#text from mod kenma

[literallykenmaandshoyo]

Hi, this is for mod Kenma. I don't even know if you're still active, but about a year ago you wrote a request for me with Aone and a suicidal reader. I don't think that I ever thanked you, and I apologize for that. It meant so much to me, and I come back and read it very often when I need comfort. I want you to know how helpful it has been to me, thank you very much.

Oh Anon, this means the world to me.

You don't have to worry about thanking me or anything, just appreciating my work is enough. If you ever want any other comfort fics, my ask box is always open.

I've been busy as hell lately with a bunch of things (doctor appointments, getting my cat fixed, work, etc) but I always try to work on requests, even if it's just writing one paragraph a day.

I hope you're doing well :) You have all my love and support

-Kenma

[literallykenmaandshoyo]

For the like 5 people who liked my Kagami dating headcanons and the 2 who liked my Holostars dating headcanons, this is for you <3

-Kenma

Do you want a Niji JP Server to be delusional and a dumbass in? Are you looking for people to talk about Nijisanji JP with because god forbids looking for JP fans is way too difficult then it needs to be?

I made a discord server for Nijisanji JP fans cause I wanted people to watch Koshien with me (and talk Nijisanji jp with): https://discord.gg/McDHfDRu

Feel free to share with other JP fans to

[emmyrosee]

“If I die one more time because you guys say some fuck shit, you’re getting banned.”

Kenma’s been on this boss for hours. Well, an hour and twenty three minutes, to be exact, as his recording time so graciously wouldn’t let him forget. In his chat, there’s a flurry of people who backseat him to tell him how to beat the boss (mods will take care of them later, but it’s still obnoxious), people laughing and a few encouraging comments being tacked on with some generous donations.

At this point, he just wants to end the stream and beat it in the focus of his own company.

But he won’t. Because it’s his job or whatever.

“Kenny?” A voice calls: your voice. Kenma softens and turns to the door, ignoring his character as it dies again. “I bought you some munchies since you didn’t answer my text.”

“Hey princess,” he hums, smiling and leaning his head back against the chair. “Sorry i didn’t get back to you, I’m in the fuckin’ thick of it. How was lunch?”

“It was good,” you say, smiling and bending down to kiss his nose. “The girls say hi and that they’ll watch later; whatcha doin’?”

Kenma gives you a groan of exhaustion, “I’m suffering, that’s what. This game is horrifically hard.”

“I told you it would be, Ken.” Despite your ‘I told you so’, he chuckles and puckers his lips out for a proper kiss, which you comply with happily. In your peripheral, chat spams with orange hearts- your designated emoji amongst his fans- and puke faces for the affection you two just shared.

He hums and pulls away softly, “you wanna give it a whirl? Maybe some new eyes will make this shit easier.”

“You’re the gamer in this dynamic babe,” you snort. Despite this, you scoot to the side so he can get up and switch places with you, watching with a smile as you get settled in his oversized chair.

Chat explodes with an absolute inflation of orange hearts, flowing a mile a second, and it makes you smile to be seen in such a positive light, even if this is far from the first time they’ve seen or supported you.

“Hi guys!” You say eagerly, grabbing the controller while he leans over the back of the chair. The chat quickly fills up with words of wisdom and “GOOD LUCKS!” while Kenma plants a kiss to your cheek. “What do I have to do?”

“Basically just beat the boss; I’ve found that kinda breaking the game by rolling behind the boss and then pressing ‘y’ for the super attack is best, but hey. I’ve also been stuck on this boss since you left, so I don’t really know anything.”

“Thanks for the help,” you snort, but with a roll of your shoulders to get comfortable, you take on the task.

And it goes well! For the first few seconds.

Slowly then after, it turned into you running away from the boss and blaming Kenma- in your defense, he likes his buttons to do certain things, it’s different than you are used to!- while all along, trying to roll behind the boss to swing at his back.

It’s very amusing to everyone but you.

“How are you so bad at this?” He cackles, and you quickly try to shush him.

“Shut up!” You giggle, shaking your head. Your character lays a slash of their sword, but the game doesn’t seem to register it- if anything, your character gets the hit.

“No! Fuck!” You cackle out a whine, while behind you Kenma tugs at his hair in amused disbelief.

“Please- dear god, I will buy you a ring right now if you just get one hit on this boss-“

“DONT SAY THAT!” You whine, hands immediately starting to shake as you tap mercilessly on the buttons, cheeks ablaze while the grin on your face refuses to falter.

This, to your distracted dismay, causes chat to explode, taking your already shaky focus and making it somehow less existent.

dankondits: you’re making the poor lady stressed!

notakodzukenfan: I’ll marry her no cap-

notemmyrosee: 🧡🧡🧡

slobonthyknob: Kodzuken simp, confirmed???

lasagnahypeeee: our baby streamer growing up ;-;

corner.of.internet: when she’s bad at video games but still a 10>>>>

Thank you kuroosassscheek for the 15000 bits: BUY THE WOMAN A RING BEFORE I DIE OF OLD AGE!

“Kuroo, not helping!” You whine, cheeks an absolute scorch while all Kenma does behind you is snicker. Traitor.

Between the absolute unsupportive nature of your boyfriend and all eyes of the Internet being on you as you fail over and over again, you finally cave and give up.

With a pout, you plant the controller back on the desk, letting the opponent hit you with its many attacks, all the while your character grunts in pain. You must look like a child, because the next thing you feel is Kenma’s lips against your cheek, and it causes that pout to finally break up. “You did good,” he praises. “It’s a hard boss; I’m glad you tried it.”

“Me too,” you confess. You lean in to give him a proper kiss, laughing into it as Kenma holds his large hand up, as if to shield the affection from his watchful viewers. You part with a nudge of his nose, and when his hand comes down, you lace your fingers with his. “It was fun, but I think I’ll leave the gaming to you.”

slimesloppy_: EWWWWWWWW

bosscat867: awww dad’s in love 🧡🧡🧡

razzledazzletoes: UR A COUPLE OF SLUTS!!

zedlerlover: use protection kids

anameicantpronouce: 🧡🧡🧡

blitznbawls: 🧡🧡🧡

brucespringsteendaddy: follow for more tips and tricks

tinytivvies: mrs kodzuken 🧡🧡🧡

“Fair enough,” he chuckles, standing back up to let you slip out of the gaming chair. Your eyes avoid chat, you see all the laughing stickers scrolling though, and you shake your head as your hands reach for the headset.

“Alright chat. Here’s Kodzuken. Hope you enjoyed the interlude.” You push up and out of the chair, letting Kenma slip right in and take your spot. As you turn to leave, you offer him one last call- “oh! When you do buy that engagement ring, I expect no less than 6 karats.”

“Yeah yeah yeah,” he scoffs, watching you leave with a cheesy smile on his face. He turns back to the camera and slips his headset back on, “dummy. Got you one with 10, you think this is my first day?”

Chat once again explodes with excitement while Kenma merely smirks and goes back to his game, looking at the boss with new eyes and the chat focused on something else.

[syrikif]

Gamer Etiquette

Kodzuken x Streamer!Y/N

Pairing: Kenma Kozume x Fem!Reader

Genre: SMAU, Written Elements, Strangers to Lovers, Romance, Fluff, Humor, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Streamer/Youtuber AU

Upcoming content creator/streamer, Y/N, has gone viral for lots of things. Her infamous dumb moments, her blended cookie recipe (which tastes better than it sounds), the way she rages at her friends during games, and about a hundred more.

But her most recent viral moment? Accidentally knocking famous streamer, Kodzuken, off the Bedwars map and making him lose his two year winning streak.

Now with more attention (and hate) than she ever asked for, her only option left is to go to the source: the man himself, Kenma Kozume.

Previous | Masterlist | Next

Chapter 8 (b): Little Things

Word Count: 2243

It’s past three in the morning.

Kenma ended his stream only minutes ago, having spent the past seven hours playing a hardcore Pokémon Nuzlocke (as decided by his viewers). 

And he’s not even tired. 

He sighs as he relaxes back into his gaming chair, his fingers idly messing with the strings of his hoody as he watches all the messages coming through on his discord server.

He frees one hand and leans forward just enough to grab his mouse, opening a clip that one of his fans sent in the chat. Kenma realizes shortly into the video that it’s from one of his own streams, an older VOD that’s most likely still up on his neglected YouTube channel.

He makes a mental reminder to start posting on the website more often; his fans clearly like watching the videos after all, regardless of the lack of uploads.

Kenma watches his past self yell almost incompehnsibly at the game he’d been playing, a soft smile coming across his features as he picks up on Kuroo’s voice quietly taunting him underneath all the screaming.

“Some things never change,” he mumbles to himself as the clip ends with the two roommates arguing over each other.

And suddenly it all feels so bittersweet, a sense of nostalgia filling his chest and leaving a sour taste in his mouth. Because while things may not have been easy then, they were simpler somehow; less demanding of Kenma despite the fact that he’d had so many more pressing responsibilites.

He hears himself sigh and briefly wonders when exactly he’d started getting so old.

It’s almost laughable - Kenma reminiscing over his college years at the age of twenty-four.

He releases a low breath, his gaze straying from the chat to the list of active users on the side of the screen. Unsurprisingly, there aren’t as many people online as there usually is and one name manages to catch his eye.

Kenma rarely ever cares to check on things like roles and ranks in his server, he has moderators for that very task after all. But there is a role that he personally made himself when the server was first created, strictly for the purpose of having his friends in one place.

No one has been added into that level in years.

Until now.

Now there’s Y/N.

Kenma isn’t the person who placed her there (he didn’t even know she’d joined his server before this very moment) and the only other people with the ability to do so are his mods.

With this realization he remembers the message he’d recieved from Moe, one of his very first moderators, from earlier that day.

“You can thank me later.”

Kenma had been confused at the time, even assuming that she’d texted the wrong person and not bothering to respond.

Now he understands.

There’s only a moment of hesitation, his cursor hovering above that unmistable gray symbol, before he finally just clicks.

He isn’t sure how long he waits, long enough to feel a sense of dread beginning to sink in but too short to dwell on the feeling.

And it’s futile really, the way Kenma tries to hide his grin from the camera when Y/N finally answers the call wearing cat ears and a blanket that seems to swallow her whole.

“Don’t look at me like that,” she suddenly says, her gaze deepening into a glare.

Kenma wants to laugh because she probably knows exactly what he’s thinking right now. “Like what?” He does his best to appear nonchalant, leaning back into his seat and running a hand through his hair as he stares at her through the screen.

She looks different like this.

Or maybe he just isn’t used to seeing her on video.

“Like I’m some little kid or something,” Y/N huffs, her eyes rolling back as her blanket falls to her lap.

“More like a little cat,” he mutters almost unthinkingly. He watches her eyebrows furrow, her head tilting as his words reach her ears.

“Huh?”

Kenma shouldn’t tease her. He really really shouldn’t. “It’s fitting,” and yet he’s completely incable of resisting, “Kitten.”

Y/N’s jaw quite literally drops, her eyes widening as her face turns a satisfyingly bright shade of red.

And Kenma can’t help but think that she looks so- so- (what was the word?) something.

“Wh- what did you just?” She shakes her head, “You- why would you- ugh!”

Cute.

Yes. That’s the term.

Kenma thinks she looks cute right now.

The realization is slow to hit, his mind even slower to catch on as he watches Y/N fan her face and cup the skin of her cheeks.

It isn’t even the right word, honestly - to kenma - she looks adorable, cute was just the first thing that came to mind.

Why did it come to mind?

“You’re the one wearing cat ears,” he defends. He’s not sure what he’s defending at this point (himself? his thoughts? his weird obsession with cats?); he just doesn’t want her to take it the wrong way.

What would be the wrong way? Flirtaitiously?

But, if she were to flirt back, Kenma doesn’t think he’ll care.

“You piss me off,” Y/N suddenly announces, her voice full of exagerated annoyance, but there’s no doubt that she’s smiling at him - because of him.

No, he really wouldn’t mind at all.

~~~

“Favorite color?”

“Oh come on.” Kenma rolls his eyes, taking a small swig from the can of soda he’d grabbed from the mini-fridge just beside his desk. “You know my favorite color.”

Y/N gives him an incredulous look, “Um, since when?”

Kenma’s eyebrows raise, “Um, since the first day we met?”

“You’re literally lying,” she says with a mouth full of some sort of food. He doesn’t know what she’s eating at this point; first it was chips, then tomato soup, a thin slice of pie (Kenma’s sure that she was trying to rub it in his face), and now it seems to be a kind of fruit.

He’s never seen someone eat so many diverse snacks in one sitting.

Y/N’s eyes suddenly widen, “Shut the fuck up.”

Kenma’s at a loss for words, and he’s sure that Y/N can see the disbelief in his features as he sets the drink on his desk.

“No, like seriously shut up.” She lifts one hand, using her index finger to point at Kenma - or (more accurately) the camera of her webcam.

He blinks. “I didn’t say anything.”

“I’m trying to think here, okay? So shh,” she glares at him.

Kenma makes a show of pressing his lips together, mimicking the motion of zipping them up and tossing aside the key.

He can see Y/N trying to suppress a smile at his actions, a small huff of a giggle escaping her own lips when he pretends to struggle against the imaginary lock on his mouth.

Her face suddenly lights up with recognition, “Red!”

Kenma’s charade breaks. “That’s what you were trying to figure out this whole time?”

“I was right?” She suddenly looks confused, more confused than when she didn’t even know the correct answer.

“Obviously.” His head tilts, “Did you just guess or something?”

A sheepish smile, “Or something.”

“You just guessed, didn’t you?” It’s not really an actual question at this point, they’re both all too aware of what she did.

“Well I mean- kind of?” She shrugs, a clumsy movement that makes her appear so much younger than she probably is. “To be honest, I just happened to remember that Nekoma’s colors were red and black. So,” she hangs on to the word for a brief second, “Lucky guess?”

“Well what’s your favorite color?”

Y/N had suggested a scuffed form of twenty-one questions, a version with no drinking (not that either of them were against it, Kenma just doesn’t have any alcoholic beverages in the house) and no limit on how many questions they could ask.

It’s been years since Kenma had gotten to know someone like this.

She hums with consideration, “I’m not sure. I like all of them.”

“That’s such a cop-out answer,” he light-heartedly scoffs.

“Oh don’t even,” Y/N straightens in her seat, the black cat ears slipping further back on her head. “At least I didn’t make you play a ten minute guessing game,” she retorts.

Kenma tsks, “That was not ten minutes.”

“Well it felt like it. So hah!”

He laughs as he stretches out his legs, adjusting the waistband of his sweatpants when he notices that they’re off-center. He looks back up at the screen, eyes fixated on the way Y/N tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

“How old are you?” Kenma asks out of mere curiosity, because he knows she must be at least close to his age, but he feels so much older in comparison to her cheerful nature.

She’s staring intently at something off to the side, scrutinizing whatever happens to be there. “Twenty three.”

Only a year younger, maybe even less depending on her date of birth.

But-, “Wait,” his eyebrows furrow. “Didn’t you date Sugawara in high school?”

He regrets bringing it up the moment he’s finished speaking, mentally cringing at the idea of talking about her ex’s.

Y/N groans, her face falling into her hands. “Don’t remind me.”

“That bad huh?” And if Kenma’s being honest with himself, he feels strangely . . . relieved.

“Like I love the guy,” Oh. “In like a totally platonic sort of way though,” she suddenly rushes to explain.

Kenma nods, “Right.” He pauses for only a brief second. “So you were a first year when you started dating then?”

Y/N’s head tilts with obvious bewilderment, “What? Oh,” she laughs. “No, I was a second year. I just have a really late birthday.”

“Oh okay,” he releases a small breath of relief. He isn’t sure what he would’ve done if he found out that one of Y/N’s boyfriends was a sick fuck that preyed on first-years.

That’s something he couldn’t let himself overlook, no matter who it was.

“Why’d it end then? Was he not,” he hesistates, “Good to you?”

They’re getting into dangerous territory now; it’s none of his business why their relationship didn’t last, but it feels like it should be. And he supposes that if they’re going to be friends and if he’s going to come into contact with said ex-boyfriend, then it would be better to know anyways.

Right?

Who is he kidding? That’s just an excuse.

He has no real reason for wanting to know, but that’s not going to stop him from asking.

Y/N shakes her head, a thoughtful expression painted across her features. “Nothing like that. It was almost like he was too good to me, you know? It was a good relationship but it was like so good that it was uneventful and boring. We just don’t mesh well romantically.”

Kenma nods as though he understands when really - the truth of the matter is that - his only relationship had ended on such bad terms that he hasn’t dated since.

“And you’re twenty-four right?”

“Yeah,” he confirms without thinking. Then his eyes narrow on her form, “How do you know that?”

She sighs deeply, as if even the mere thought of it is taxing. “Sho has not shut up about you since we met, it’d be more shocking if I didn’t know that at this point.”

Kenma smirks, “All good things I hope.”

“Please,” she rolls her eyes, “That man is practically singing your praises.”

“What the hell does that even mean?” Despite the confusing choice of words, Kenma feels himself chuckle at the idea of one of his closest friends boasting about him to a complete stranger.

“He just like won’t stop talking about how cool you are, or how you’re so fun to be around. Or how you’re the most awesomest - yes he used that word - person he’s ever met.” Kenma’s disappointed when she unexpectedly stops, her hands raising to massage the skin of her temples. “It’s honestly starting to get annoying. Like you’d think he was trying to make me fall in love with you or something,” she snorts.

Is it working?

The words are on the tip of his tongue, his stomach turning at the possibility of her responses.

Kenma swallows thickly, “So what? He’s trying to set us up?”

Some questions are better left unasked.

“I guess so?”

“That’s a little weird.” Only a little bit though.

Y/N smiles then, but it’s mischevious and temptingly playful. “Really? You don’t think we’d look good together?”

His mind races at the implication behind her words, his body growing warm from her teasing tone of voice. And he abruptly feels so thirsty, his tongue brushing across his lips as he watches the way her lashes flutter when she blinks.

“Now I never said that,” he murmers in return and he can’t tell if his voice is as throaty he feels like it is.

Her gaze flickers down somewhere below his face, and Kenma silently berates himself for his choice of lazy clothing, before slowly trailing back up.

Her voice is soft when she speaks, her eyes never straying from his. “Neither did I.”

Kenma’s breath catches in his throat.

He forces a smirk, “I guess we can agree on one thing then.”

Her grin comes back in full force, wicked and full of invitation, “I suppose we can.”

Yeah, Kenma definitely doesn’t mind when she flirts.

Taglist: @crazy-people-are-here, @existential-traveller, @peachesncats, @royalz658, @musicluverr, @tamimemo, @leathernourishingshoepolish, @captaincyberqueen, @dellalyra

Any names in bold are unable to be tagged.

[mimi-cee-hq]

7:21pm - timeskip!Kenma x f!reader; fluff, friends to lovers, 0.8k

You scrunch your nose and twist your lips, staring at Kenma’s monitor. There are nine minutes left on the opening countdown to his stream, the one you edited for him.

“You can’t be serious right now,” you tell him.

He ignores you. He’s on his phone sharing the stream’s link to his other social media platforms. You sigh, shift some granola bar wrappers lying on his desk and place the bowl of rice porridge in front of him.

“I can’t believe you’re doing this right now.”

“It’ll be fine,” he replies. His voice is hoarse and scratchy when it leaves his throat, causing you to wince as if you’re the one in pain.

“You can barely even talk right now.”

You aren’t supposed to be here right now. Typically you’d be at home on your own desktop, moderating his stream. Kuroo told you Kenma was sick so you assumed the stream would’ve been canceled.

“Tell your followers you can’t do it.”

You know why he’s doing it. It’s the last day the character he uses gets a boost in his attack and he wants to show what he could do with his newly enhanced weapon.

He picks up the spoon and eats some of your porridge. “I don’t need to talk,” he says, coughing right after. “The stream will be fine even if–” He coughs three additional times.

“Kenma, stop talking,” you say. “You’re making it worse.”

He switches to a different window to check if the stream is performing well. All of the settings look fine.

“You know it’s going to be weird to have a silent stream.” Over the years of him being a regular streamer, Kenma got a better response when he chatted with his followers and revealed his face. Kuroo encouraged him to try it.

Kenma opens a text editor and types his response to you.

You can talk for me.

You twist your lips, knowing how people act on streams. People love speculating about others’ personal lives.

“They’re going to ask if we’re dating.”

That’s fine.

“Wouldn’t that bother you?”

Not really.

You ignore the fluttering feeling in your stomach. There are five minutes left before Kenma's stream goes live. You sigh and plug in the second set of headphones into his computer. He scoots a bit to the left, but you tell him you don't want to be on camera.

He pulls out a stool anyway and places it beside him. You groan, sit next to him, and adjust the camera for both of you to be in the frame.

One minute left and you rehearse Kenma's intro in your head, the one you've heard many times on his streams.

"They're going to ask if I'm your girlfriend," you complain. "I just know it."

You can say yes if it makes it easier.

“Why would that be easier?”

It’s easier for me.

If you were my girlfriend.

Your eyes grow wide at him, you're halfway to putting on your headphones. Does he know you like him? Why would he say that?

Kenma purses his lips and turns away from you, but you can see the tips of his ears peeking out of his tied hair. They're red.

There are three seconds left.

"Kenma, do you like–”

The stream starts and the words you've rehearsed disappear from your mind. You're a deer in headlights, seeing your face live on the stream.

Yeah, I do.

The chat begins to converse with each other before realizing there’s a new face on the stream.

You groan before turning to the camera. Why would he say that now? Your palms are sweaty, your body is turned up to the highest degree possible, all while you're trying to remember those lines you've heard a hundred times over.

"Welcome to Kodzuken's stream. As always, there are three rules during streams. Number one: Be respectful to the mods. They will time you out..."

As you continue explaining the rules, the chat starts asking questions from the corner of your eye. Out of habit, you start muting people spamming the chat, resisting the urge to block everyone asking about your relationship.

An announcement pops up in your ears. Someone has donated a generous amount to his channel with the comment asking you the question you didn't want to answer right now.

"Are you Kodzuken's girlfriend?"

Of course they’d insist on asking. You can't run away from this now. It's easy ignoring the chat, but after the computer-generated voice sounds in both of your ears, Kenma glances at you as he fidgets with his controller.

You bite your lip. You really hate him right now.

"Yes, I'm his girlfriend."

I hope you liked it! Please like/reblog if you enjoyed it and check out my other fics.

Edit: I didn't add a link to my Google forms taglist. I didn't think people would be interested.

Edit 2: I wrote a part two.

[boytouya]

CHARANONS! <3

🖤💙.dabi, 🍡.gojo — my first charanon, thank you dabi (and gojo) mod (💫 anon), for taking the time out of your day to talk to me (as dabi, gojo, and yourself). i hope hope you’re doing well. i really do appreciate it, you help much more than you think!! please take care of yourself <3 here’s your song! even though i have multiple dabi playlists ..maybe this too

🧨.tsuki — bakugo mod, you are so funny😭thank you for talking to me, bakugo has always been my favorite mha character, and you portray him so well. you help associate good memories with him:) remember to take care of yourself! <3 i couldn’t pick just one song... so i went with my playlist... but if i had to pick...it’d be this

🥖.nanami — nanami mod, words cannot describe how well you write him- every time you pop up in my inbox it makes me want to write a oneshot 😭 thank you for wasting time on me, please take care of yourself! <3 here’s your song!

⚔️.toji — toji mod(s- there are two tojis with very different personalities that shine through text which is so funny), i hope you’re doing well! thank you for taking the time out of your day to talk to me, you both inspire me to write for him. please take care of yourselves <3 i would love to go into depth about his character but i’m going to keep it at caveman dilf hot- my apologies so here’s your song!

⚡️.denks — denki mod, YOU ARE SO FUNNY 😭 i love hearing from you, it’s only been a couple days but you made me like denki much more than i had before. please take care of yourself, i hope you’re doing well <3 here’s your song! ..and maybe another one

💠.gojo — gojo mod, the way you type is- whew 😳 i hope you’re doing well, i always get excited when i hear from you! please take care of yourself, thank you for talking to me!! <3 here’s your song!

🐈‍⬛.hito — kagshshshs shinso mod you seem so kind?? you portray shinso so well, thank you for taking the time out of your day to send asks! it’s nice to have someone to talk to late at night, but you really should get more sleep. remember to take care of yourself! <3 here’s your song!..and this too

🐈‍⬛.aizawa — shouta’s mod- the way you type... makes me run laps😭 you’re such an articulate person, and i hope you’re going well!! please remember to take care of yourself, the way you’ve got aizawa’s personality down perfectly amazes me. thank you for taking the time to send asks. <3 here’s your song!

🍮.kenma — kenma mod, you seem like such a cool person. a bit chaotic on the outside, but i can tell you’re a great friend and really fun to talk to. thank you for sending asks and talking to me! i hope you’re doing well and taking care of yourself! <3 here’s your song!

🎮.tomu — shigaraki mod, hearing you talk about your boyfriend is so cute. i can tell you’re a really interesting person, and i’m excited to hear more from you!! remember to take care of yourself, here’s your song! <3

👾.shig — second shigaraki mod, i’m convinced you’re actually just him. you depict him so well, makes me wanna write for him more.. than you for talking to me, please remember to take care of yourself!! <3 here’s your song! ..this too

[hoes-simpin-imagines]

Hello! Can I have a Danganronpa V3, Haikyuu!! and Persona 5 matchup? I'm bi, 5'1 and a HALF (the half is important), INFP Taurus. A huge gaming addict but with a very busy daily schedule since I'm the oldest, so I usually forget to sleep or eat to compensate for gaming time. I also like to draw and play melodica (horribly). I have a hard time speaking in public, often having to send texts even though the person is right next to me. Thank you so much for accepting and have a good day!

“Then I’ll take the Haikyuu and Persona 5 ask!! Thank you so much and sorry again ( ；∀；)”

No worries hon, it’s all good!!! thanks so much for requesting c: and aww sdjsjdks you’re such a cinnamon roll btw;;

your Haikyuu matchup is…

【Kenma Kozume】

(my fAVORITE boy ever how indeed very lucky of you TwT)

Despite Kenma normally coming off as a little aloof and asocial, as he’s hardly ever really concerned about the the affairs of other people or interacting with others, you two would probably click together in almost an instant! This is due to the many characteristics you two share - Both of you being quite introverted and gaming addicts. If anything, Kenma would much rather prefer someone who’s similar to him in a sense, as he already has to put up with his noisy and energetic teammates on a daily basis. Don’t worry, Kenma’s also pretty much a total noob when it comes to speaking with others in public. (He had to have Kuroo assist him with every failed attempt he’s made to try and approach you alone at first. Poor kitty would chicken out just as soon as he believed he had garnered up enough courage to make a move). 

✧headcanons✦

The two of you first encountered each other at the local GameStop that was nearby the school. A new video game was to be released in stores that day, and Kenma was pretty psyched for it. He had planned to get himself a copy right after practice that evening, and doing so, left without Kuroo. As he skimmed through the aisles, his fingers brushing against the spines of the various packaging, he quickly noticed the game he was looking for and reached out to grab it. However, his wrist instead made contact with yours. 

He was a bit startled when his catlike eyes had found you as he staggered back in his direction awkwardly, averting his gaze and muttering an apology. He decided he just let you have it as he can either come back tomorrow or buy and download the game digitally. However, he didn’t expect you to apologize so incessantly over it, urging that he take the last copy instead, while each time he would reassure you that it was completely fine with him if you just take it. It got a bit awkward for him, and it was clear he was flustered by how visibly flushed his cheeks were. Eventually he complied, reluctantly taking the copy. While doing so, he noticed Kuroo watching the interaction unfold and swiftly went the other direction before you could question. 

Of course, as soon as Kuroo caught up with him outside Kenma definitely expected he would be bothered and interrogated by him. “Who was it you were just talking to? Was it someone cute? With the look you were giving earlier, I could tell you thought so.” “Shut up, Kuroo.” 

Eventually, Kenma would see you there quite often. He thought you wouldn’t recognize him, well, at least he hoped you didn’t. He’d avoid you like the plague, not that he wanted it to look like had anything against you though. His childhood friend read into his motives fairly quickly, and he would urge him to just go for it, not tolerating the excuses he would make.

When he did finally manage to approach you though, he never expected that it was that easy to converse with you on the topic of gaming as a conversation starter, as the discussion between you two had seemed to flow naturally. Kenma completely overestimated the situation that time. 

Anyways, I doubt it would be much of a problem if you require sending texts to converse with Kenma even if he’s literally right next to you. He’s alright with keeping at it virtually. When in a social situation that seems to be nerve-wracking, Kenma would just send you some gaming related memes saved in his camera roll to console or evoke a chuckle out of you. It may weird his teammates out as they watch the two of you communicate that way, but he doesn’t really care. He also may sound a bit more outgoing than usual through text.

He enjoys watching you draw, and he may sometimes ask you to draw some of his favorite characters/mains, or even a custom player character he designed. He’d set them as his avatars on every social media platform, obviously crediting you. 

Kenma obviously enjoys playing games with you. You two would duo in League of Legends, making a formidable Xayah and Rakan. (aww :3) Since Kenma’s a Youtuber, he would stream a few of the gameplays together with your permission of course. It isn’t compulsory to talk if you’re too shy, but whenever you’re ready, he’d definitely be glad to introduce you to his growing fanbase!

Date nights would normally consist of you two inviting yourselves at either one of your guys’ houses, and ordering a box or two of pizza at the door along with it. You two would usually be up gaming the entire night, and completely losing track of time. On the first night together at Kenma’s house, Kuroo invited himself in the next morning, seeing the two of you lay snuggled together on the couch and sleeping peacefully, both controllers thrown to the side and a half-finished open box of pizza on the floor.

~ Mod Suba 🌌

and for Persona 5, your matchup is…

【Futaba Sakura/Oracle/Navi】

You two just have so much in common!! She’s also an avid fan of video games and all things tech related, which is what initially drew her to you. It took all of her courage to awkwardly confess her feelings to you, but now that you two are in a relationship, you cant even keep track of how many all nighters you both had pulled together. Since you’re the eldest sibling, and I’d assume much more responsible than her, you’re usually the one who ends up taking care of her whenever she stays up for 12 hours straight playing online games. Despite her rough past and her shy disposition, she finds it very easy to confide in you due to how much you two have in common!

✧headcanons✦

You guys manage to save up a bit of money, and with Sojiro’s permission managed to go to an anime/gaming convention in your area! Let’s just say, it was the best date ever. She ended up spending a lot of money though, and had to borrow a lot of money from you toward the end of the con. You both totally did the thing where you follow a cosplayer while playing their theme song on the melodica.

On rough days, she likes to pull you into her room and cover you both under her blanket. She will never express it verbally, but she almost always wants cuddles from you. She will subtly hint at this, by either snuggling up to you or awkwardly forcing your arm around her. She likes to sit in between your legs and lean against your chest. When you assume this cuddling position, she will sometimes text you despite the fact that you are right there! It’s a cute gesture though, and she usually sends you memes and gifs during these moments.

On her first day of highschool, she’ll definitely be on the phone with you the entire time. Being in a school environment for the first time in a while really made her nervous. During a time like this, your presence and reassurance was vital to her! Luckily, she got the hang of school life after a few weeks, and she has you to thank for that!

Since you’re both fairly short, you both struggle to get high things on shelves. Sometimes you both clean LeBlanc together, and come across a high shelf that you cant reach. She tries to get on your shoulders to reach the shelves, and when that doesnt work, Akira or Sojiro usually steps in to take care of it.

She will hypocritically scold you for skipping meals while you’re gaming. She usually ends up playing said game with you while she scolds you, which makes her tirade a lot less threatening. But that aside, she really worries about your health a lot. If she notices you’re not eating properly, she’ll force either Sojiro or Akira to make you curry and coffee. And she makes you eat it too. You’re not leaving until you’ve licked the plate clean.

~Mod Onion 👻

[kelandry5]

Mythical Monsters Boarding House (Haikyuu Roleplay)

16+ text/chat/lit roleplay

Monsters of myth and legend are real and living and working in Tokyo. Here, the characters of Haikyuu are different monsters from myths and legends living together in a boarding house.

https://discord.gg/vbn9BJ8

~~Taken characters~~

Kozume Kenma - Pureblood Vampire - Mod 

Kuroo Tetsurou - Phoenix 

Nishinoya- Kitsune 

Asahi - Dragon 

Daichi - Vampire 

Ushijima - Dragon 

Kunimi - Fairy 

Akaashi - Tsukimogami 

Bokuto - Harpy 

Sugawara - Mermaid 

Tsukishima - Kitsune 

Kiyoko - Succubus 

Yaku - Cerberus 

Hinata - Werefox 

Yamaguchi - Fairy 

Oikawa - Phoenix

**Dragon, Kitsune, and Vampire, Phoenix, and Fairy options are currently closed. Many many others still available!!!  

[fangbangerrrr]

i heave both my volleyball bag and an extra backpack off of my shoulder and haphazardly on to the locker room floor. i brought both my volleyball stuff and anything im leaving at your house with me to practice, so i can head over right after practice.

the whole time my body seemingly works on autopilot, jumping to stop spikes right on time, urgently ruffling kenma’s hair when i can see him starting to get tired and lazy. my mind is far from practice, however, far from the ball that beats against my open palms again and again.

all i can think about is you. how you looked licking up my blood last night, and the way yours tasted on my tongue. how amazing your tight pussy felt wrapped around my cock, and how equally magical it felt to properly cuddle with you after. how cute you looked wearing my tshirt that hung down your thighs and was much too large with you. how precious you look, even when i can tell your mind is being rough with you from the way your eyes are blown open with worry, and how you can never look me in the face while you busy yourself with fidgeting with something.

i’m determined to make all of your anxieties come to an end. i’m going to tear down those walls, gently, at a pace we’re both comfortable with, and i’m going to reassure you that i want every bit and piece of you. and that starts today, as soon as practice is over.

at last, after a quick huddle, coach dismisses us for the day and my long legs have never carried me to the locker room faster. i collect up my things, ditching my sweaty practice towel into my volleyball bag before pulling out my phone to text you. i’m on my way, baby i send off, hustling out of the locker room before anyone can question my frantic nature. it’s not that i’m ashamed of you, no, i just want to make sure that you’re completely comfortable with being public first. plus, we’d only jusr admitted our feeling to each other late last night. i just wanna make sure i fully understand where we lie before i go bragging to my team about it.

-❣️

{having dreams about this, hmm, pretty girl? were they naughty, or sweet, or a bit of both just like tetsu? sounds like dabi better watch himself when i’m around ;) butttttt also on today’s episode of i flirt with lili as kuroo and mod LMAOFNSKSKFKA}

I'm startled when my phone dings. Had I really dozed off in the middle of a report? I stretch, yawn, rub the sleep from my eyes and check the message from you. My heart races, butterflies swarm in my belly and I feel the starts of tears prickling in my eyes.

You were serious. You really were going to come back and... and try this thing with me. Relief flooded my system and I couldn't stop the dam from breaking, tears rolling down my cheeks as I realized that you might actually want to stay with me. That you might actually have meant the honeyed words you said last night.

I allowed myself a moment before wiping the tears away and texting you back, I can't wait! Let's get dinner? I hadn't initially meant it as a date, but... well it'd be a good chance to see exactly where your expectations reside.

And then, I was giddy. Getting to see you again, even just platonically made me so happy. And the thought that you might kiss me again, sweetly and lovingly, had me rushing to freshen up. Applying some basic make-up, and changing into a cute outfit just for you, fixing my hair, even, so that I could make a good impression.

(( pls do not come for me i cannot help what my brain does. also help i'm blushing -- but they were so sweet omg <3 and aaaa oh no i'm having a crisis hahaha kuroo is taking up more and more of my heart bc of you.

on today's episode of : lili gets flustered by both kuroo and his mod fahsdflkj ))

[cute-volleyball-imagines]

“I love you, I always have.” For Kenma please :0 @ mod cat, I’m also in love with this boy haha (This isn’t supposed to sound like she’s the one how has to write it though, just that we share a love for Kozume Kenma lol)

Alright now listen here anon, i love you. You’re my new best friend. Also I gave not just fluff, but a short ANGST response as well ;3c ~Mod Cat

Fluff:

The hardest part about loving Kozume Kenma was that you felt as if he would never love you back. You know Kenma tends to keep to himself; he is fairly reserved. You know Kenma doesn’t care much about anything, his video games aside. You know he doesn’t find volleyball fun, nor does he find it boring. You know Kenma preder to stay out of social situations, yet he ends up finding himself in a lot of them.

Even if you weren’t sure on his feelings, Kenma was.

When Kenma has texted you asking if you wanted to come over you had completely flipped out. Your face hurt from the smile that was plastered on. And when Kenma told you that it would just be the two of you, your face was throbbing from redness. Your response to Kenma was a short “yes”. You washed your face and really hoped that the blushing would stop by the time you got to his home. Kenma didn’t live far from you, and it wasn’t all that hot outside either, so a red face would be unusual.

When you arrived at Kenma’s house, you were very hesitant on whether you should ring the doorbell, or knock. Then your thoughts starts wandering and asking, “What is someone ends up hanging out with us after all?” As much as you loved all of your friends, this was really one of the first times you and Kenma had hung together – just the two of you.

As if Kenma senses your anxiety, the door opens before you even had the chace to make any sort of sound that you had arrived. You wave a hello as a small smile plays at your lips as you look at Kenma. Kenma is oddly dressed in casual clothing: jeans and a plain, black v-neck. You are a bit confused, for Kenma usually didn’t dress up when people came over to his house. He usually just lounged around in sweats and a shirt. Well sometimes a shirt. Words cannot explain how you felt when you hung out with Kenma where he wasn’t wearing a shirt.

Kenma motions you to come inside and you follow. Kenma waits for you to take off your shoes before he heads to his room, to which you follow. “So, what did you want to do?” You ask him, your voice clearly showing how anxious you are as you enter his room.

“Uh,” Kenma starts off. You look around his room. It’s clean – too clean; Kenma’s room usually had some sort of pile of clothes lying around, but this wasn’t the case. All of his clothes were put away, his bed was made, and it even looked like the floor had recently been cleaned. Either the Kozume family had cleaned their whole house today, or Kenma had done this himself. “I actually wanted to talk to you about something.”

You hum in response, sitting on his neatly made bed. You trace the pattern on his comforter for a few seconds due to silence. Your thoughts are interrupted by Kenma grabbing both of your hands. Shocked, you look at Kenma as your face flushes. He’s holding your hands.

“I love you.”

“Oh?” You stutter as you turn your hot face away from him.

“Please don’t turn away from me.” Kenma pleads, his grip tightening on your hands. You face him, a smile on your face.

“Do you really?”

Kenma nods. “I love you, I always have.”

ANGST (HAHAHAHAHAHA):

You and Kenma sit on your living room couch. It has been silent for a while and you can feel how nervous Kenma is. You had called him over because you had to tell him; you can’t keep doing this to him. The two of you had a hand intertwined with each others and it is hurting you emotionally.

“Kenma, I think we should break up.”

The grip on your hand loosens and without a second notice, your hand is empty. You look down and see Kenma is playing with his – the hand that was recently holding yours.

The silence is unbearable and Kenma lets out a shakey breath before getting up off the couch. You don’t dare to look at him, but your peripheral vision catches him stop at your front door, put his shoes on, and open it the door. You notice Kenma hesitates as he stares outside.

“I love you,” Kenma’s voice is shakey. “I always have.”

And then he leaves without another word.

[fictional-scenarios]

Oooooooooo could you write a sequel to Kuroo angst you poster recently??????

sure thing! -mod cassie

It took nearly two weeks for you to look at him, and about a month for you to start answering his texts. Though Kuroo knew exactly what he did and how it affected you, some other apathetic part of him felt as though you were drawing out a needless punishment. Sometimes in the later hours of the night he’d find himself entirely pissed off for how guilty you were making him feel, fingers itching to send you that mile long text that would start in a ‘sorry’ and end in a ‘grow up’. However once those nights passed and he saw you wandering to your class that anger would shrivel and beneath it that same regret would resurface, his pride once again making a show and urging him to turn the opposite direction.

The first time you finally gave him a half wave when he walked into the building his heart nearly flipped. It was just a wave and a half hearted one at that, but you were acknowledging him at least. He’d wave back in earnest and sometimes would even directly say ‘good morning’ but usually you never replied to them. When you finally came around and do did he, he had to bite back apologizing over and over again, fearful he’d scare you off. Instead he just waved to you whenever he could or offered a friendly smile whenever his hands were full, grateful you’ve return the gesture.

When you never answered his pathetic apology, he’d send you one about three days later, a stupid ‘hey, you alright?’ Unsurprisingly you didn’t answer that one either. So, when you finally did, he felt like he’d double over in his seat. Though the night was over and he was just getting ready to get up from studying and head to bed, he still felt his throat go dry at his phone lighting up, your name displaying over the screen.

‘hey’

He was so fast to respond it amazed him that he didn’t make any spelling errors, not that he’d checked at all when he hit send and then made his way under the covers. 

‘hey’

Your name lit up again, his phone vibrating and his breath leaving him.

‘do you have time to talk’

He almost replied with ‘anything for you’ but instead sent a simple, ‘yeah, sure, whats up’. He felt horrible in acting as though he had no idea what was going on, like he totally wasn’t expecting you to already be chewing his ass out for being such a hardass to you back after the game.

It took you a few moments to answer and in those long minutes Kuroo’s anxiety grew with every second. 

‘i just wanted to say i was sorry for ignoring you these past few weeks. i wish i had an excuse but i dont’

He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Sure in the times where he’d get angry at you he’d imagine you apologizing but actually seeing it in front of his eyes made him feel even worse than before. He’d exploded on you for just trying to help, and even after that he was just as much in the wrong (if not more) for not manning up and apologizing right away. Instead he chose to give you the silent treatment as well.

‘it’s fine, really. im sorry too for being a dick and for saying all those things to you. i dont have an excuse either, i just hope you can forgive me’

Sometimes Kuroo wished he could sound more genuine as he read his reply, feeling like he was speaking way too casually to sound like he was as sorry as he was. He was afraid you would think he was just talking out of his ass, like he didn’t actually give a damn about how you felt and was just going with it. When you replied he was almost scared the only thing you’d had sent would be a big, fat, ‘no’, but it wasn’t.

‘i forgive you.’ 

Even though it was late and his mind felt fried from all the practice and studying, he still leaned his head back against the pillow, phone clutched to his chest while he grinned. A weight had been lifted off his shoulder and though he knew these messages wouldn’t solve everything it was the most relieving thing to see those words. You forgave him. As he brought his phone up to his face, squinting at the brightness, he smiled all over again and sighed at your answer before sending his own.

‘thank you, ___, seriously. that means a lot to me even if it doesn’t seem like it.’

His room was dark save for his screen illuminating, but he’d never felt so content in his whole life. He still had some guilt clinging to his shoulder, eating away at him slowly, but for the moment he truly felt like you two could finally start getting somewhere again. The fear of potentially ruining any chance of being with you greatly damaged a lot of Kuroo’s persona, so much so that even his teammates asked him occasionally if he was feeling alright. That ‘fateful’ night replayed in his mind over and over again, his head creating alternate pathways on what he could have, or should have, taken and where they could have led him. 

‘im glad it does. i miss you a lot tbh’

You sounded just as casual as he did and maybe that wasn’t a bad thing, since it made talking a lot easier than just spilling emotions and crying out ‘im sorry’s every few seconds. Kuroo stared at the ceiling, closing his tired eyes and smiling again.

‘i missed you too’

A few more minutes passed after his reply and you still hadn’t answered, and for some ungodly reason Kuroo feared he may have made things awkward, and once again he almost dreaded reading your message when his phone alerted him.

‘hey i know we havnt talked in awhile but do you maybe want to hang out sometime this week? if u dont wanna thats find i just think it would nice to catch up or something idk’

He actually laughed quietly, head tipping back again after reading your question. Even though the circumstances were less than desirable it was cute to him, and he was still smiling as he answered back.

‘that sound awesome, where do you wanna go?’

‘hows that one place by the corner store sound? i heard its good’

‘it sucks’

‘oh haha, how about that one we used to go to together a lot? i cant remember the name either oops’

Kuroo licked at his lips, remembering how often you two would eat out after he was out from practice. He didn’t like it too much but when you were there with him, it was his favorite. 

‘sounds great. we can catch up on stuff cant we?’

‘yeah’ 

You sent another right after.

‘like i said i really missed you. sorry ive been so mean :(’

His heart fluttered again as he typed away, hesitating before sending. 

‘its fine, really, i was the jerk. im just glad we’re talking again, and im also happy to be revisiting our place again. eating at our place is way more fun isnt it?’

‘haha, our place sounds about right.’

It felt good to be saying ‘our place’, it made him feel like you two were right back to being the close knit friends you always were, even if a lot of it was spent on him pining for you and wishing you felt the same way.

‘so its a date then?’

Kuroo nearly choked when he read your message, heart doing flips as he sat up and re-read your text to make sure he wasnt mistaking it on accident.

‘a date?’ He sent, hands nearly shaking. He definitely hadn’t misread your text, but it felt too good to be true. 

‘oh sorry, would you rather it not be? ig that makes sense given we havnt been talking… we can just hang out haha’

‘NO a date is fine. thats even better than just hanging out.” His entire body felt weightless, nearly feeling like he had whiplash from your sudden question and how lucky he had gotten. He was excited to be just conversing with you again but going on a date? Finally doing something he’d been dreaming of? Again, the context was less than desirable but he still beamed at the chance. 

‘alrighty then, i cant wait! ill see you at school tomorrow right kuroo? at our spot?’

Your spot being the tree a little outside the gates of school, the place where you’d met because he bumped into you while not paying attention since he was too busy harassing Kenma on not making too many friends despite it only being the first week of highschool. You were prepared to be hit and almost fell over, and would have hit the dirt if he hadn’t managed to grab onto your arm. It hurt and left a bruise but after that day you two became pretty close.

‘yeah, our spot.’

‘get some rest then, see you tomorrow (:!”

He sighed in delight, imaging seeing you tomorrow and thinking of all the things he could say to you. 

‘see you tomorrow, ___.’

Kuroo clicked his phone off when you didn’t answer back, probably heading to sleep with the same butterflies in your stomach. He wanted to feel mature and cool, but he couldn’t stop himself from flipping on his side and holding a pillow tight in his arms, body wrapping around it while he grinned into the plushness. 

Once again those scenarios started racing in his head but they weren’t an offspring of regret and what he could have done. Now, it was excitement, the things that he could and would do when he saw you the next morning.

[literallykenmaandshoyo]

hello, is mod kenma alright?

Hey anon :) Yeah I'm fine. Working my ass off with my 2 jobs and tryin to get school started.

I've just been really busy trying to earn a lot of money to get my cat fixed. Nothing too crazy lol

I'm working on clearing out my part of the inbox so I can open it again. I want to open it up again but it's just hard to find the time and energy to write as consistently as I used to.

I'm okay though :) don't worry too much about me lol

If anything happens and I need to step back, either I'll make a post about it or Shoyo will make one.

Thank you for the concern though! It's very sweet <3

-Mod Kenma

[literallykenmaandshoyo]

hiii out of curiosity does kenma still write for hasan / chuckle sandwich? recently found their fics and absolutely loved every single one🩷

Hi hi! I still write for Chuckle Sandwich for sure! Hasan not so much but that's mainly cause I don't really watch him that much. I'm willing to write anything about the sammy boys though <3

-Mod Kenma

[literallykenmaandshoyo]

Do you have any boundaries?

Honestly? Not really? I just allow people to send in their ideas and see what I can work with. I just prefer that people are respectful to me when sending asks. And also that people understand that I'm allowed to turn anything down, whether it's because I just don't want to write it, have already written something similar, or I'm uncomfortable with the topic.

If I had to create some sort of guideline, I guess it would be I don't write snuff, piss, scat, or anything similar. If the idea is interesting enough, I will write snuff but that's the only thing I'm willing to go back on.

I'm sorry if this doesn't answer your question. If you have any more don't be afraid to send another ask :)

-Kenma

[literallykenmaandshoyo]

KENNNNMAAAAAA HOW ARE YOU? LATE MERRY CHRISTMAS/HAPPY NEW YEAR -bubble

HI BUBBLE!!!! I AM VERY STRESSED CAUSE SCHOOL IS EXPENSIVE BUT BESIDES THAT I'M OK!!! HOW ABOUT YOU?

-Kenma

[literallykenmaandshoyo]

What About Me?

Peter Parker x Female Reader!

Warnings: Angst. Reader is upset because Peter is off being busy as Spider-Man and he's stood her up one too many times for her liking

Word Count: 1.6k

Author's Note: Guys this is my first Peter Parker drabble! YAY!~ I absolutely adore Peter and I wrote this one up earlier tonight and figured it'd be good to share! I hope you all love it, I'm so used to writing fluff that sometimes I forget that writing angst is really good too! Let me know if you have any feedback or requests by sending in an ask, and remember to request Mod Shoyo to be specific! Have a great night (Or morning) everyone!

Also, PicsArt doesn't have the same scrabble letter thingies that Kenma and I have been using for our headers so this one is just a major WTF. Sorry if this looks ugly lol :,)

~Mod Shoyo <3

Y/N sat by her bedroom window, overlooking all of Queens from the seventh floor of her apartment building. Night had fallen and the stars were out, all of the buildings nearby had some office lights still on, people were probably still working, even at this ungodly hour.

That’s one thing that they had in common with her boyfriend Peter.

Being a web-slinging superhero was definitely not on Y/N's list of why Peter Parker could be so distant and just vanish all the time. However, when they first officially started dating, Peter took it upon himself to lay out all of his cards for her right then and there. Y/N was more than understanding and he thanked God for her every single day. Y/N knew that she said she’d be okay with the late nights and the canceled plans, that she’d be up waiting for him during late hours of the night just to make sure he came home safe.

But there was only so much she could take.

She stared down at her text messages with Peter. She asked him if he wanted to come and stay over at her apartment tonight since she’d been missing him a little extra these past couple days. Not only has Tony been working him to the bone, but the crime percentages in Queens seem to have only elevated since Peter would be out all night stopping robberies, saving people from getting mugged or kidnapped, the whole shebang. 

I’ll swing over in 10 love <3 11:45 p.m

Y/N looked at the top of her screen and saw that it was 1:57 in the morning. She knew that she got herself into this and she told herself that every time that he was late or had to cancel on her. It wasn’t his fault. Peter was just doing his job, what he signed up to do, so she couldn’t be mad at him. But who could she get mad at?

She looked like a lovesick puppy, just waiting at her window to see the red and blue suit that her boyfriend wore to come swinging over to her building. Tears were streaming down her face and she was making herself more upset by crying over something like this. She grabbed her phone off the windowsill and turned it off, chucking it into a random corner of her room and lying in her bed. She got under her throw blanket on top of her covers and threw it over her head. Her sniffles and soft sobs weren’t loud enough to wake anyone, but a small part of her wished that Peter would walk in and hear how devastated she was.

Being Peter’s girlfriend was a blessing. It was something like a mantra that she told herself every single morning when she woke up. She wanted to be the one he came home to, the one that would make all of his cuts and bruises better after she cleaned him up, she wanted to be the last woman he would ever love in his life. She wanted to be his. Forever. But being in a relationship didn’t always mean that Peter was the one she fussed over all the time. She was entitled to her own feelings and how she felt, and right now, she was sick and tired of waiting up for Peter.

As if right on cue, her bedroom window slid open and in crawled Peter. He was panting, short of breath as soon as he ripped his mask off his face. “I’m so sorry love, there was this guy in an alleyway that wouldn’t leave this group of middle schoolers alone and he-”

Peter stopped dead in his tracks as he looked at Y/N's shaking figure under her throw blanket. He raised an eyebrow and walked over to the bed, his ears picking up on the sounds of her soft sniffles and hiccups. He pulled the blanket off her head and saw her laying in the fetal position. Her hair was covering the side of her face and he couldn’t really see her expression, but he knew that she was upset. Obviously.

“Baby,...” Peter pushed her hair behind her ear and could see her puffy eyes and red nose. “Hey, hey, what’s the matter?”

Y/N sat up in bed and fixed her crazy hair, sniffling and wiping tears off of her cheeks with the sleeves of her shirt. She sputtered and tried to speak, but she didn’t even know what to tell him. Part of her wanted to be straight up and just tell him that this is the seventh time she’s been kept up waiting on him, but the other part of her knew it wasn’t his fault and that she was just upset because he’s been so busy. Just because she was always available for him, doesn’t mean that Peter was always at her dispense too, especially with what he does with his time.

“I…”

Peter waited for her to explain, but she just looked down at her lap and started to cry again. He felt awful and he was so clueless. He thought back to the last time she cried and remembered that she had lost a grandfather recently that she was close to. Maybe it was that. He grabbed her hand and held it in his tightly.

“Is this about your grandpa again, love?”

Y/N shook her head and pulled her hand away from his. Now Peter was really confused. He racked his brain trying to figure out what else it could be, but every single option he came up with just came to a dead end. Y/N couldn’t help but notice how hard he was trying to think, and she found it ironic. He was so intelligent, the smartest guy she’s ever known. Yet he’s so oblivious when it comes to the small things, she always thought that maybe his brain was so big, that the most simple of questions really took a couple of seconds for him to think about.

“I’m just tired, Peter.” She finally croaked.

Peter’s heart fell into his chest. His gaze met hers instantly and he felt his heart pounding in his chest. He always thought about how Y/N never deserved to be with someone like him, not when he has the whole Spider-Man thing going for him. It’s unfair to her. And he always felt like one day she’d get tired of it all, but he was praying to God out of his own selfishness, that today was not that day.

“This…” She hiccuped. “This is the seventh time that I’ve stayed up past what we agreed to see each other at just to see if maybe you needed a little more time to come home.”

Now Peter understood. 

“You said you’d only be ten minutes at 11:45 and it's two in the morning now, Peter.” Peter looked down at her hands and noticed that they were trembling. “It’s been so hard for me these past couple times to just tell myself this is what I signed up for. But I miss you so much while you’re gone.”

She broke down in tears again, sobbing into her hands. Her sobs and her hiccups were muffled, but that only made them louder in Peter’s head. She was right, in every way imaginable. He hadn’t been much of a boyfriend recently, only texting her about how much he loved and missed her, sending her a quick selfie while he was mid-swing from one crime to the next. He couldn’t even imagine how lonely she must feel within those gaps of time that he wasn’t messaging her.

“Baby, I- I’m so sorry,” Peter cooed. “I know that I’ve been really busy recently, and I-I can’t even think about how lonely you must feel every single time I do this,”

Y/N looked up from her hands and wiped the snot that was running down her nose. She could barely keep her puffy eyes open enough to look at him.

“Don’t ever tell yourself that this is what you signed up for ever again.” Peter scolded. “I asked you to be my girlfriend because I knew in my heart that I was ready to be your boyfriend. And I still believe that. I haven’t been giving you the attention that you deserve and that’s completely on me. Okay?”

Y/N stayed quiet, staring at him with her bloodshot eyes and a quivering lip. The scary part was over. She was never good with calling people out and telling them how what they’re doing affects her. She’d rather just forgive them and never have to talk about it again. But then, when it happens again, she just puts herself through an endless cycle.

“I just miss you…” Y/N sobbed, wrapping her arms around Peter.

She dug her nose into the crook of his neck, bringing her hands up to the back of his head to feel his hair in between her fingers. When Peter hugged her back, her entire body relaxed and she just let him hold her while she cried into his suit. Peter was rubbing her back comfortingly, whispering sweet things into her ears in between pressing kisses to the top of her head and her temples.

“I’ll do better for you, baby. I promise, okay?”

Y/N nodded. 

Peter felt himself getting choked up the entire time Y/N was crying in front of him. The lump in the back of his throat was almost unbearable to push his spit past whenever he swallowed. He held Y/N in his arms for a while longer before finally taking his suit off and changing into some pajamas. He crawled into bed with Y/N and held her once more, the sound of her heart beat finally calming down bringing a soft smile to his face. He kissed the top of her head once more and closed his eyes.

That night, he made a promise to himself.

A promise that she was never going to feel like this ever again.