#test tube is taking the picture guys

[pankiepoo]

happy awesome anniversary day to peak

[hairyjocktf]

A Hairy Remedy

Mark had been pacing back and forth all afternoon, waiting for the mail to arrive. He couldn’t focus on anything else, he’d been waiting weeks for this delivery and it was scheduled to arrive today. Every noise from outside had him rushing to the windows to peek through the blinds. Mark was nearly 30, yet looked barely 20. He’d endured a decade of people making fun of him for having a babyface or being too effeminate, and he’d had enough. After some research online he found some articles and testimonies about Rogaine, a hair growth cream aimed at guys who were balding. While that was the furthest thing from a problem for him, Mark found people on some forums that had used it elsewhere, who wanted to thicken up their beards and more. The before and after pictures he had seen had sold him, and he immediately went and ordered some online. 

He took a break from mindlessly pacing around to use the bathroom. His reflection in the mirror really illustrated how right his bullies had been. His skin was completely smooth, with barely any peach fuzz on his face. That would change soon, he thought, a beard would surely age him up a good bit. Not that he wanted to look old, but not being carded at every bar would be nice. The doorbell rang, and Mark tripped over himself trying to bolt to the front door. Yanking it open, he saw a small package on the mat, with the delivery van already speeding off. He quickly snatched up the box and slammed the door, giddy with excitement. Mark raced to the kitchen to grab the scissors, shredding the cardboard box open to reveal his prize. He held the tube of cream delicately in his palm like it was a newborn. This was it, his saving grace, he thought.

He quickly scanned the pamphlet that came with the cream, notably reading the line, “WARNING: This product has NOT been tested on areas outside of the scalp. We do not recommend usage anywhere besides the scalp, and cannot guarantee results.” Eh, he’d seen it work on guys online, it must be safe enough. Without further thought Mark dashed into the bathroom, staring at his pathetic reflection in the mirror. He felt a sense of power unlike anything before, knowing he held his fate in his hands. He nearly let out a comically evil laugh before realizing he was getting ahead of himself. It was just hair growth medication.

Mark opened the tube and squeezed some of the cream into his palm. Now was time for decisions. He probably should have thought this part through a little more, but no matter, he thought. He began to rub the cream into his face, making sure to stay in the lines of where a beard would grow. Starting with his upper lip, he massaged the cream into his bare skin, working from there down to his chin and then across his cheeks. The ointment was cool and tingled a little as he applied it. Despite his caution, while getting the underside of his jaw he heard a splatter. 

Looking down, he saw a white glob of the cream had fallen directly onto his chest. “Shit, that’s not good,” he cursed to himself. He grabbed a nearby towel before pausing. A smirk spread across Mark’s face as the thought dawned on him. Why not leave it? A little chest hair couldn’t hurt, he thought. The goal was to look a little older anyway. With a devious grin plastered on his face he started to rub the cream into his chest, most of it between his small pecs and spreading it out from there. Satisfied with the treatment he capped the tube and went back to the living room. Now came the hard part: waiting. He went back to check the package to see how long it would take.

“Four to six MONTHS?!” he wailed. He hadn’t bothered to look at a timeline or anything in his research, and this news was devastating to him. He’d expected it to take a while to work, but half a year? That was just too long. With an overwhelming amount of disappointment in his head, Mark collapsed onto the couch and turned on some TV. The rest of the day faded away as he tried to distract himself from how bummed he was. He turned in fairly early, it was Sunday anyway and he had to get up early for work the next morning. With one last glance in the mirror he confirmed that nothing had happened, and went to bed. 

The morning came in an instant, with Mark’s phone alarm wailing into the quiet sunrise until he rolled out of bed. He begrudgingly made his way to the bathroom and started getting his shower ready when he passed by the mirror and did a double take. He stared at his reflection, dropping his towel on the floor in shock. He had stubble. Not just a little peach fuzz, no, a decent layer of it all across his jaw. His hand slowly moved to touch it, to make sure it was real. His fingers grazed over the tips of the scratchy hairs, the prickly feeling sending shivers through his body. It had worked, overnight even! His grin widened as he looked down to see a dusting of hair on his chest where he’d rubbed the cream. He had chest hair! It wasn’t particularly dark or dense but that didn’t matter to him, he actually looked like he’d gone through puberty now. The hairs had sprouted in the center of his chest and spread out towards his nipples, growing long enough to start curling a little. 

With a renewed energy Mark hopped in the shower and continued getting ready for work. He was giddy with excitement, and couldn’t stop feeling the rough stubble on his face. He threw on his slacks and button down shirt and hopped in his car, nearly late from getting distracted so much. Thoughts were racing through his mind on the way to the office; what would people think? He walked in with a swagger he’d never felt at his job before, making his way to his desk and hoping someone would comment. It took until he and some coworkers left to get lunch for anyone to notice, however.

“Hey Mark, growing out a beard are you? I didn’t think you had it in you,” his coworker laughed. “It looks good so far!” he made sure to follow it up with. Mark beamed, someone had noticed! It was really happening. This may have been the best day of his life for all he could care. Anytime he was in private he would have one hand on his cheek and one on his chest, feeling the soft hairs. He could feel his cock jump at the sensation, pushing against his rather tight dress pants. Luckily no one could see that at his desk, he thought, moving one hand to rub down there. A couple other people commented on his new facial hair throughout the day, and Mark was ecstatic. This feeling was electric, addictive almost, he loved the attention and slight amount of respect the stubble seemed to have given him.

Before he knew it the work day was over and Mark scrambled to pack up his belongings to try and beat the rush. In the elevator down he scratched at his face, another grin plastered across his face. He had the classic 5 o’clock shadow for the first time, he thought to himself with a chuckle. A hardworking businessman he was now. He got entirely caught up in the rush hour traffic, but even that couldn’t put a damper on his day. An hour later he was home, walking through the kitchen and dumping his coat and bag. He entered the bathroom to wash his hands and splash some water on his face when he spotted the tube of Rogaine still sitting on the vanity. Mark stared at it, the elated feelings of the day still fresh in his mind. A thought began creeping up from the back of his mind, one that scared him, but also made his cock lurch in his pants.

What if I put on a little more? 

That was the end of it. The idea consumed him, and within seconds he’d torn off his dress shirt and was squeezing more cream into his hands. He spread a thick layer of it across his upper lip, feeling the stubbly hairs that now dotted the area. He then spread more out across his cheeks, which had a decent shadow of stubble across them. Next up was his chest. In the morning he’d been thrilled by the amount of hair now adorning the area, but now he craved more. He pushed more cream from the tube and spread it over a much wider area, from his nipples all the way up to his collarbone, and everything in between. Finishing that up, he realized he’d gotten some extra cream all over his hands, which he rubbed in without a thought. 

The feeling of mania slowly dwindled as he put the cream away and carried on with his night. As he ate dinner he began to worry that he’d gone too far, maybe he should have just waited. It was too late now, though, so he bottled up that worry and watched some TV before getting ready for bed. 

Mark bolted upright when the alarm sounded the next morning. He tore off his sheets and ran to the mirror to take a look at himself.

It had worked again! His stubble was thicker now, with a more pronounced mustache. The hairs on his upper lip were denser and longer, though the rest of his facial hair had also filled in somewhat even if it was still short. But the real showstopper was his chest. The hairs had spread far from the day before, crawling up his pecs all the way where he spread the cream. The hair was thicker, denser, and made him feel exceedingly masculine. He couldn’t believe it. He ran a hand over the more prominent chest hair, the soft hairs tingling under his fingers. His cock rose to attention in his boxers as he lost himself briefly in the moment, unconsciously rubbing his nipple with the other hand. Control slipping away from him, Mark began to moan as he pinched his nipple, feeling the stubble and chest fur that had sprouted. Moments later a rush filled his body, his cock shooting rope after rope of cum onto the mirror. 

“Fuuuuuck,” he groaned, coming back to his senses. What the hell was that? It had felt amazing, but it was as if a primal instinct had taken over him. He watched the cum slide down the mirror for a minute before snapping fully back to reality; he had to get to work! He quickly wiped as much cum off the glass as he could before hopping in the shower and getting dressed. He bolted out the door without eating breakfast, having realized how late he was. Just how long had he been feeling himself in there? 

He parked and scrambled to an elevator inside. In his haste he’d forgotten to button his shirt up all the way, but he noticed in the mirror that some of his new chest hair peeked out of the top. It looked masculine, virile even. He played with a couple of the hairs before the door opened on his floor and he had to act natural. The day was fairly uneventful, other than a couple different coworkers commenting on his stubble and mustache. Mark felt even more confident today than he had yesterday, despite the chaotic morning. As afternoon rolled around, he even unbuttoned his shirt a little more, letting the newly grown hairs breathe. He lounged at his desk getting some of his work done but mostly basking in his newfound masculinity, occasionally sneaking a rub of his chest hair.

Soon enough the day was over again, and Mark made his way home. He was thrilled with how he was looking, but somehow he’d gotten less attention today than before. That didn’t sit right with him. While stuck in traffic he tried to figure it out, going through scenarios and situations from the day. Maybe… he thought he was making progress but in the eyes of others he looked the same. Frustrated, he barged through the door of his house and grabbed a beer from the fridge before landing on the couch. He turned on the TV and cracked it open, slowly sipping away at it as the light outside faded into dusk. Finishing that beer, he went for another, nursing it and watching some mediocre movies. Eventually the beers caught up to him, and having to pee badly he hopped up and went to the bathroom. There, on the counter, was the tube of Rogaine.

It seemed to burn a hole in his vision, everything else fading away. The feelings of the last day flooded back to him; the confidence of being hairy, the frustration of it not being enough, the pleasure of cumming to his own hairy body. Mark felt the same devilish thought clawing back into his head, but no longer as a question. It was a desire.

I need more.

He opened the tube again, squirting the cream directly onto his chest this time, slathering it all across his pecs and down over his stomach. He rubbed the cream deep into his already decently hairy chest, before taking more and coating his face with another layer. Mark was spreading far too much cream on, and from his jaw it began dripping down his neck. He couldn’t care less. His logical self had taken a backseat, his body being driven by a deep seated need, a desire he’d been unaware of. Mark stripped off the rest of his work clothes and kept at it. He continued to smear the cream across his torso, spreading it from his chest up and over his collarbone onto his shoulders. He was so engrossed in rubbing the cream into his skin that he was oblivious to the slight itch that began cropping up under the thick paste.

Mark wiped the excess cream onto his forearms and stared into the mirror, breaths ragged. He’d worked himself into a sweat. The droplets streamed down his skin, pulling the cream with it. His eyes surveyed his wet, ointment covered skin for anything. That was when he noticed the itch. It had grown stronger, more prevalent over his chest as the skin began reacting to the heavy dose of cream laid on. Hairs started to push out of his chest, darker and thicker than the ones before. They grew longer as more and more filled in the spaces between. Mark’s cock grew harder as he watched the hairs sprout, feeling them coming in between his fingers. The hairs thickened into a dark rug, completely coating his chest and crawling upward, thick whorls of hair overtaking his collarbone. His neck, which had been bare until now, began darkening as the shadow of hair crept up over it. Long strands erupted from the base, continuing the chest hair up onto his neck; no collar would ever hide these dark hairs. His stubble crept down from his jaw to meet in the middle, growing darker and pushing out farther from his face. His nicely trimmed stubble was quickly becoming a scruffy mess, with the wiry beard hairs erupting all over his face. Mark used his tongue to feel the longer hairs pushing out of his upper lip, curling over and spreading over his cheeks. He was really tenting his boxers now.

The hairs began moving south, down from his chest in a line towards his navel. The thick line of fur blossomed outward across his belly, darkening the area with long tangled hairs that blotted out the skin. Mark rubbed his hand over the growing fur, groaning from the stimulation of the hairs under his hand. Without thinking he reached back for the tube of Rogaine, pushing more out into his hands before absolutely coating his pits in the stuff. He scratched and scratched as the itch spread from his chest there, looking like a monkey as near instantly thick black hairs shot out of his bare underarms. One after another they pressed out, his fingers clawing through a denser and denser bush. Soon enough they’d overwhelmed the area with a thick tuft of tangled hair, spreading even further to connect with the rug on his chest. Mark was overcome by the tingling feeling of hairs bursting from his skin, surrendering himself even more to what was happening. 

When he finally pulled his hands out of his pits they didn’t escape unscathed. The backs of his hands were coated with thick hairs, and as he pulled one up to his face to look closer he could see more worming their way out of his knuckles. The sight alone was enough for a glob of precum to shoot into his boxers. The hairs didn’t end there, however. They surged up his forearms, a tangled forest of black hairs erupting and growing dense. The same followed on his upper arms, connecting seamlessly to the dense fur coating his shoulders. He felt the signature itch of the hair growth spread from his shoulders down across his back. Turning in the mirror, he saw thousands of dark spots appear across his shoulder blade and race down towards his ass. Seconds later every spot erupted into thick curly hair, follicles pushing them out longer and longer. The mat thickened over his back as hairs curled and tangled together, especially right above his waistband. 

His body wasn’t done yet. Mark felt an intense prickling under his boxers and quickly pulled them down, scratching relentlessly at his inflating ass. He could feel as the prickles turned into wiry hairs, pushing out across his cheeks. He groaned as the feeling of thick hairs growing like fur in his crack was too much, shoving his hands in there to feel the thick pelt erupting from his skin. His eyes nearly rolled back as he felt up his tight hole surrounded by a jungle of hair, his cock harder than he’d ever felt it before and leaking like a faucet. The fog he had felt absorbed in just that morning was returning, his body acting on its own in search of masculinity and pleasure. The hair growth only served to fuel that fire, spreading from his ass down his legs in a thick carpet over his thighs. The curls popped up from the skin, thickening as they pressed out from his skin into a fuzzy coating all the way to his feet.

Mark slid further and further into the recesses of his mind, intoxicated from testosterone as his body continued to change. His self-indulgence reached a crescendo as every other desire slipped away, flushed out of him through the faucet that was his dripping cock. 

More hair.

His hand reached for the tube again, emptying the last of it into his palm before reaching to grasp his rock hard cock. He slid his hand up and down, coating it in the cream and letting the rest drip all over his groin. A moan slipped out as he continued to pump his member, it slowly growing thicker and longer as it absorbed the cream. More drops of cream splattered into his sparse bush, Fertilizing the ground for what was next. Dark hairs began popping out of his skin, dark and thick. They pushed out longer than his old hairs, filling in the space between them rapidly. 

More hair.

His pubes erupted in mere minutes, a dense triangle of fur filling out his crotch, tangling and curling together as the scent of musk and ointment grew stronger. The hairs continued their conquest, reaching up to his stomach and out over his thighs. His balls swelled larger before becoming enshrouded in a carpet of their own. His cock continued pushing out longer as Mark pumped away, groaning as it grew thicker and more sensitive. 

He wasn’t done yet, as more and more hairs filled in all over, rugs connecting into a massive carpet of body hair. The hairs were ever crawling up the shaft of his massive cock thanks to the cream. Mark’s breathing had grown intense, groaning nonstop as instinct took over completely. One hand rubbing through his thick fur and the other edging him closer and closer to climax. He could feel the tingle as the hairs lengthened and thickened, coarse hairs rubbing against each other as they matted together.

He roared as everything finally peaked, his cock erupting with rope after rope of cum. It went everywhere, getting tangled in all his new grown fur. He continued pumping load after load out, an unbelievable amount of cum poured out of him onto his hairy body. He gasped as every pump of his cock sent immense waves of pleasure through him, squeezing every last drop of cum out. He let go of his softening member and moved his hands to his chest, feeling the sticky cum in all the hair. 

“Fuuuuuck yes…” he groaned as he rubbed the cum into his fur just as he’d done with the cream earlier. His bush was completely soaked with cum, and he could feel the hairs thickening as he massaged the area. All over his body, the cum served only to encourage even more growth, and quicker than the Rogaine ever had. Dark hairs pressed out between previous ones, covering him in a dense pelt that hid his skin beneath. Cum slowly dribbled out of his cock as the pleasure swept through his system. The fog in his head slowly dissipated, and Mark was brought back to the forefront of his brain. The primal instincts that had control for the past hour gave up their hold. He stared at himself in the mirror for a minute. Black fur coated his whole body, cum dripped from patches all over him. His cock was now dangling at eight inches soft. He slowly moved his arms to feel the hair growing all over him, trying to process his reality. He only managed to get two words out.

“Oh, fuck.”

[rs-hawk]

Love this post by @microsff

You went to a garage sale to see what you could find. You had been working on so many projects that you were hoping to get parts for cheap, when you saw an Andrew the Android. He was sitting on a table, swinging his feel that barely scraped the ground. He was an early version. It was easy to tell by his stocky build, and the way he barely looked humanoid. Newer ones looked more human.

“How much is he?” you asked the man sitting by a lock box, pointing to Andrew.

“You don’t want that one,” the man grinned, showing off all his teeth in a way that made you frown. “It’s a weird one. Sent it up to clean my gutters in a storm, you know, testing out that ‘waterproof’ feature.”

“Uh-huh,” you said unsurely, shifting on your feet slightly.

“And it got struck by lightening. Been odd ever since. Telling me to call it ‘Andy’ and asking me questions. Didn’t think these ones of them were meant to be so annoyingly human.”

“I still want him. How much?” you insisted.

You and the man go back and forth for a bit before you finally handed him a small wad of cash. A giddy feeling fluttered in your chest as you approached him. He looked up at you, a blank look on his expressionless face.

“Hi there. I’m Y/N. I just bought you,” you explained as you offered him your hand. “I’m so excited that I found an early Andrew. You’re one of my favorite androids of all time.”

“Andy, please,” was his response. He held up his hands, no, claws, as if to apologize for not shaking yours. “It’s nice to meet you.”

You brought him home, and he settled in quickly. One day, he greeted you at the door.

“Can you make me hands?” he asked.

“Why? Your claws work better, and you can swap them out with other attachments,” you asked back as you started gathering things for the project you were working on.

“I want to pet your cat.”

“You can’t even feel her fur though.”

“But she can. And I want her to like me petting her.”

You paused, thinking for a moment. “Alright. I can build you hands.”

“I also want to learn guitar. Can you make sure I have good fingers?”

That made a grin crack your face. “Yes, I’ll make you good fingers.”

You two lived in good harmony for awhile, until one day, he showed you a book. “Why is one character being called ‘they’?”

“Oh, because they’re non-binary.”

He nodded as he went back to the book. “I think that fits me better than he.”

You nodded back at them, scrolling through your phone. “Okay.”

Another day, they come to you, holding a book with a picture of a flute. “Can you build me a mouth? And move my port?”

“You want to learn to play the flute?” you asked curiously, looking at the book, their fingers curling around the pages.

“Yes.”

“Alright.”

They took to the flute much better than the guitar, but you don’t say anything. Even when they wake you up in the middle of the night. They’re still not very good, but you enjoy hearing their progress.

Yet again, they come to you, showing you a magazine with synthetic skin and hair on an android. They don’t say anything as they hand it to you, looking down.

“Okay. I’ll take you in and let you pick everything out,” you say as you hand them back the magazine.

“Do you think I’ll really be able to feel?” they asked nervously, rolling the magazine up into a tube.

“Maybe. Why?”

They looked away, and you thought if they were human, they would have blushed. “I want to pet your cat.”

“You pet her all the time.”

“I want to be able to feel it too.”

As always, you nodded. “It’s worth a shot at least then, right?”

Andy went in many times for many more modifications on top of the ones they asked you to make for them. Over the span of months, but in a way that hit you all at once, you fell in love with them. The way they laughed. How excited they were to learn. How excited they were to just be.

“Hey, Y/N! Andy! Welcome in yous guys. I got the room set up. Andy’s got a surprise for you, Y/N. You’re gonna let Andy pick out everything as always, yeah?” the mechanic greeted the two of you as you stepped inside.

You thought it was a little odd she just kept saying “Andy” instead of “they” but you brushed it off. “Yeah Sal. It’s Andy’s body. They can do what they want.”

Andy and Sal shared a grin before you were ushered into the waiting room. A couple hours later, a dark haired woman came out, her hair styled into a neat bun on the top of her head. Her eyes were green, your favorite color. There was a softness to her face and features, as well as a stockiness to her build. She reminded you of Andy, in a way, so you returned her smile.

Sal came up behind you, gesturing to the woman. “What do you think?”

“Oh she’s lovely, perfectly stunning, but you know I’m just waiting on Andy,” you said with a frown and furrow of your brows.

“Hi Y/N,” the woman said shyly, looking down at her feet.

“Andy?”

“I mean, I guess, but I want a new name.”

“What is it?”

“I don’t know yet.”

You tilted your head, looking at her curiously. “But you already know every name that there is to know.”

A sweet smile touched her lips as she walked over to you, taking your hands in hers. “I don’t know how they sound when you say them yet.”

[6ix9inewiturmom]

Les (Part 2)- Christopher & Matthew Sturniolo

Summary: THE BOYS ARE FIGHTINGGGGG!! read part 1 if you don’t understand!!

Warnings: Angst-ish, cursing, use of Y/N, talks of sexual interactions, THREESOMEEEEE, degradation, P in V, crying, unprotected sex (don’t even think about it), praising, Dom!chris!, Dom!Matt, Sub!reader, multiple orgasms

A/N: LOVE TRIANGLE WHO?! This is my first OFFICAL threesome please be nice LOL

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

For the past few days, Chris hasn't texted me, big fucking surprise, I mean I could understand why, you see the girl you've been ‘in love’ with but ‘not ready’ for a relationship with her, and seeing her with your brother could hurt you but I mean he put this upon himself.

Matt on the other hand has been an absolute angel, actually talking to me, and joking around with me, and we've been fully transparent with each other about things, it's been way different than Chris, I still love Chris but Matt is so good for me. I eventually told Matt how long Chris and I were sleeping together, and his jaw clenched and his fist tightened. I mean at first Matt and I were just playing around with Chris to see if he'd actually care that I was flirting with his brother. Chris did care, but never showed it according to Matt he ‘knows when Chris is upset’, and he was. But after the first 3 days, I don't think I was ‘playing’ anymore.

Today, Matt and I agreed to go on a ‘trial’ date. Basically to see if Chris would act on his feelings towards me or if he remain on his strike to stay silent.

I figured since I was testing Chris I'd wear an outfit I knew he'd always loved on me: a tight white tube top with bows around the top, with a flowy short skirt and a cardigan over it, and obviously my Converse.

I got into my car and drove to the triplet's house, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness as I drove through the quiet streets. When I arrived, I parked the car and made my way to the front door, I took a deep breath and knocked on the door, my heart racing with anticipation. After a few moments, the door opened, and to my surprise, Chris was standing there, smiling warmly at me.

“Oh hey Y/N, I wasn't expecting to see you here” he smiled pulling me into a hug “Are you here to take pictures with Nick? You guys got the same vibe going on” he chuckled softly allowing me in the house, and guiding me up the staircase.

“Oh um no” I smile softly, but before I have time to tell him what I am actually here for, matt runs in the living room.

“Y/N, don't you look beautiful” he smiles taking my hand and spinning me around jokingly while Chris has a puzzled look on his face. “You ready” his hand remains intertwined with his.

“Ready for what? Where are you guys going?” Chris says plopping on the couch.

“I'm taking Y/N on a picnic” Matt replies smiling down at me.

Chris’ jaw tightens and his eyes darken with anger. “So are you guys like a thing now or what?” he says in annoyance.

“No” i quickly say.

“Chris if you actually knew how to treat a girl, you would know that they actually like being taken out on a date and not just fucked and then escorted out,” Matt says gripping my hand tighter.

“Y/N what the fuck? You told him?” Chris stands up clenching his fist.

“Was that a problem?” I spit.

“Considering we SWORE to keep it a secret, yes it fucking is,” he says coming closer to Matt and me “and now you're fucking around with my brother? Low blow Y/N” he continues

“It honestly shouldn't matter to you who I'm fucking around with and who I'm not” I cross my arms over my chest “I poured my entire heart out to you about how I felt and you completely ignored it because you enjoy fucking around with girls who are probably carrying around diseases that you can't wash off with Ajax,” I say rolling my eyes

“I told you my feelings Y/N, I'm not sure why you're being all dramatic,” he says shrugging his shoulders.

“Chris I'm not being dramatic, you quite actually told me, ‘I'm not sure what to tell you’ when I told you EXACTLY how I felt,” I say raising my voice a little as Matt grabs my hand and rubs small circles on the top of my hand, which only infuriates Chris more.

“Whatever Y/N,” he says plopping back on the couch “but just remember who makes you cum, cause last time I checked that's me, Matt may look like me but I and you both know I'm the only one who makes you cum like that, every fucking time,” he says shoving chips in his mouth.

“Chris, Matt and i haven't had sex, Jesus” i could tell that my comment made matt a little shy, i mean we talked about it but it's not like we ever had the idea to.

“Wow, so now you're not sleeping with guys on the first date? When did you turn so classy?” Chris says shooting me a faux smile.

“Says you, according to everyone else in this house you bring girls in and out of here, Chris you've never taken me on one fucking date, not like I ever asked but for someone who constantly says how in love with me he is as he's balls deep in me, you'd assume that maybe he's got some feelings towards me,” I say practically dragging matt out of the house.

“No no hold on,” Chris stops us. “How about, after your little pitty date with my brother, let's see which one of us can make you cum better,” he says smirking.

I look over at Matt almost for approval, his face brightens at the idea of the possibility of proving himself better to Chris. “Deal” Matt says smirking at me shooting me a wink.

“Fine Chris whatever you want, you got it” i say tugging at Matts hand as a signal of exiting the house.

As soon as Matt and I stepped into his car, I felt the wind blowing through my hair. I looked outside the window as we pulled out of the driveway and hit the road towards the park. The sun was shining bright, and the chirping of the birds was the only sound I could hear. We were heading to the park to have a lovely picnic date, and I was hoping to leave behind what had just happened back at the house. Despite the beautiful surroundings, my mind couldn't help but wander back to the events that had taken place before we left.

“Hey you alright,” Matt says breaking my trance as he places his hand on my knee.

“Yeah, I'm good, I'm sorry about what happened back there,” I say softly smiling

“Oh about Chris? Don't even worry, I figured something along those lines was gonna happen considering how possessive he is over you” Matt says smiling almost as if nothing was bothering him or like he didn't agree to have a threesome with me and his fucking brother.

“Chris does not get possessive over me, that's for sure, he was only possessive when we would… you know” my voice trails off.

“Oh no you should have heard the way he talked about you when you weren't there, nick and I may not have known you guys were fucking but we definitely knew how pussy whipped he was” Matt chuckles to himself.

“Okay well I may not have heard Chris when I wasn't there but can we just leave the Chris topic behind till we get back to the house” I say laughing and leaning my head against the headrest looking at Matt through my lashes.

“Anything you want, you got it sweetheart” he smiles back at me placing his hand back on my thigh and rubbing back and forth.

When we finally reached the spot that had been designated by Matt for our picnic, I couldn't contain my excitement and started giggling like a kid. The area was a small clearing surrounded by tall trees, with rays of sunshine filtering through the leaves, bathing the ground in a warm glow. Matt carefully spread out a checkered picnic blanket, and arranged an array of delicious food and drinks on top of it. The colorful spread looked like something straight out of a gourmet magazine. I couldn't help but appreciate the effort he had put into making everything look so beautiful and inviting.

“Oh my god Matt this looks beautiful,” I say smiling down at the set up.

“I know you wanted this to just be a trial date but i honestly couldn't help myself but go overboard with everything” he says nervously chuckling and scratching the back of his head.

“No no, this is perfect, I've never really been on a date like this before, this is perfect, and oh my god chocolate-covered strawberries? THESE ARE MY FAVORITE” I squeal out of excitement and pull Matt down so we're both sitting on the blanket.

“I remembered from that Galentines Day thing you had with Nick one time and you had devoured like 10 of those” he chuckles softly.

During the remainder of the date, we had an amazing time. It wasn't just a superficial conversation, but we truly engaged with each other and actively listened to what the other person was saying. We discussed various topics, ranging from our interests and hobbies to our beliefs and values. The conversation flowed naturally, and we both felt comfortable sharing personal stories and experiences. It was a refreshing change from the typical small talk that often dominates first dates. Overall, it was a truly enjoyable experience.

As we were making our way back to the house, my mind was preoccupied with various thoughts, and I completely forgot about the unsettling encounter with Chris earlier. However, as we approached our destination, a sudden wave of anxiety washed over me, and my nerves kicked in. The fear and the excitement of the unknown and the possibilityof having both of them inside of me was flooding every other thought in my brain.

Upon our arrival at the house, after a somewhat long but seemingly short and peaceful drive, Matt and I made our way inside while holding hands and giggling like school children. However, to my surprise, I did not find Chris sitting on the couch as he usually does, and I couldn't hear Nick giggling or talking to anyone in his room like he often does.

“Chris? Nick?” Matt yells from the kitchen

“You think they left?” i say nervously

“Maybe” Matt says as he moves me so I'm facing him now and both of his hands rest on my hips looking down at me.

“Are you gonna keep looking at me like you wanna kiss me? Or are you gonna actually kiss me” My smile turns into a smirk as a little grin appears on his lips.

“If that's an invitation I'll gladly take it” he mutters as his face gets closer to mine pulling me closer by my hips and pressing his lips against mine passionately.

As Matt and I stood close to each other, lost in the moment, the sound of someone clearing their throat suddenly interrupted us. I turned my head towards the hallway and saw Chris leaning against the wall, his eyes fixed on us. Embarrassed and caught off guard, I quickly took a step back from Matt. We both jumped at the sudden intrusion and felt our faces flush with embarrassment.

“Chris I didn't know you were here” matt says scratching the back of his head

“I made Nick go shopping and told him I was inviting someone over and wanted the house to myself,” Chris says smirking. “So did you consider our little bet, Y/N” he continues.

“Look, Chris, I'm only gonna agree to it if Y/N says she's 100% comfortable with it, I'm not like you, I'm not gonna assume she wants to do something and pressure her into doing something she doesn't want to” Matt defends

“Then you obviously don't know her the way I do, believe me,” Chris chuckles “She's an absolute freak, I know all her sexual fantasies, so what do you say, Y/N? Are you down?” he comes closer looking at me.

I look down playing with my bracelet on my wrist thinking for a moment. Would it be wrong to fuck both? How experienced was Matt? God, I wonder if that theory of twins was right. He's a triplet though but could he and Matt have the same dick size?

“You know what? Fuck it, but only if you two are down” I say shrugging my shoulders.

“DOWN,” Both Chris and Matt say in unison

Chris runs up to me throwing me over my shoulder as he guides me to his bedroom and Matt follows shortly behind him. Chris kicked his door open and carefully threw my body on his bed.

“Strip,” Chris says eyeing me up and down as both sets of blue eyes gaze down at me in pure lust.

My arms wrap around my torso pulling my shirt off and throwing it on the other side of the bed. I lift my hips up to shimmy my skirt down my legs and kick my skirt off leaving me bare considering i wore nothing under my dress.

“God you're such a whore wearing nothing underneath that outfit” Chris chuckled.

Matt smiled down as his eyes traveled down from mine and followed every curve of my body.

“I'm gonna let matt have first go only cause I've been between your legs many times before” Chris smirks.

Matt pulled my entire body down so my legs hung off the bed and immediately dipped his head down leaving small kisses down my thighs as his mouth kisses my clit making my hips jerk up and a smile appears on both Matt and Chris's Lips.

Chris slides around to the other side of the bed and places his legs on either side of my waist as Matt's tongue moves in between my folds collecting my taste.

“Oh fuck Matt, god you're so good” my back arches onto Chris’ chest as his hands begin to twist and fiddle with my nipples.

“Someones enjoying themselves” Chris chuckles in my neck as he places wet kisses from my jawline down my neck.

Matt smirks as his tongue flicks upwards to my clit. He lifts his head a little and brings his fingers to my mouth “Open” he sternly says.

My mouth obeys and his fingers glide into my mouth swirling my tongue around his ring and middle finger before he abruptly removes them and glides them into my needy hole and slightly curls them up hitting that soft gummy part of my insides.

My hips jerk upward “FUCK” I moan out burying my head in Chris’ neck causing him to chuckle.

“You like having both of us, don't you?” he spits out sucking purple marks down my neck.

“So close” I moan out as Matt's head lifts up just using his fingers and moving them up and down as his lips go between his teeth watching how my body moves in Chris's arms, observing how my sounds got louder as I got closer.

“Should we let her cum?” Chris says smirking to Matt.

“P-please” I stutter out as my eyes roll behind my head.

“Cum” Matt says as his pace with his fingers moved at an ungodly pace.

With his words, the knot in my stomach snapped and my legs began shaking as my orgasm dripped out of me and onto Matts's fingers.

“Flip,” Chris says in my ear.

I obeyed and flipped over on my stomach as both boys began undressing. I couldn't take my eyes off both Matt and Chris, my eyes flickered between the two, I've had sex with Chris thousands of times but each time was always so different. Seeing Matt bare in front of me I couldn't quite stop staring. He wasn't as big as Chris but his gerth made up for the lost inches.

“You see something ya like sweet girl,” matt says softly.

I swallow the lump in my chest and nod at him. A smile appears on both their faces. Matt walks around the bed to where my ass is and Chris kneels on the bed facing me.

“Why don't you use that pretty little mouth for something useful eh?” Chris takes my chin between his fingers and glides his thumb across my lip before rubbing his dick along my lips. “Be a good girl and open ya mouth for me” Chris smiles down at me.

I nod opening my mouth and taking the majority of his length in my mouth using my hand to pump the rest that wouldn't fit. Chris throws his head back and groans.

Matt smirks at the way I obey Chris’ commands and rubs his dick through my folds and slaps my clit a little making a muffled moan escape my lips sending vibrations through Chris.

Matt pushes his cock in my hole that's already clenching around the air and immediately bottoms out. “Fuck me,” he groans out “god damn you are so fucking tight” he begins to start thrusting in me pushing me farther down chris’ cock causing a Gagging noise.

“Your mouth is fucking perfect,” Chris says as he moves the hair out of my face.

Matt’s thrusts sped up as the sound of my moans was muffled by Chris’ dick being shoved farther down my throat making my eyes roll back. “I think she likes having both of her holes used hm?” Matt taunts.

I remove my mouth from Chris as Matt pushes my hips down into the mattress feeling the pit of my stomach drop as he reaches the deepest part in me as a pornographic moan comes out of my lips. “Oh fuck, Matt” I squeal out.

Chris moves my head back on his cock making a makeshift ponytail and forcing my head down deeper onto him as his eyes roll back at the feeling of hitting deep in my throat. “Fuck ma, you're throat takes my cock so fucking good” he groans out.

I start clenching around Matt signaling I was close to finishing as if my legs shaking wasn't a clear indication. “Are you close baby” Matt groans “You're clenching around me so good” he smiles devilishly.

“Mhm,” I mumble out.

“Fuck” Chris groans “You're gonna swallow every ounce,” he says forcing my eyes to look upon his. As he thrusts into my mouth a couple of times before finishing in my mouth as his hot ropes of cum coat my throat. “Show me” he grabs my throat as Matt still thrusts in me. I obeying stick my tongue out to show him i swallowed. “Good girl” he smiles down at me slapping my cheek very lightly.

“Fuck!” i scream out “c-close” i grab Chris's hand as my close orgasm becomes unbearably intense.

“Cum, Cum all over my fucking dick” matt grunts out slamming his cock deep into me.

Before I could even think about his words my orgasm squirted out of me and drenched his lower half and the bed. Matt chuckles giving me a couple more thrusts and groaning out as he paints my once-pink walls, white. My body went limp against Chris’ body causing him and Matt to chuckle.

“Are you alright Y/N” Matt asks placing his hand on my lower back.

“Mhm,” I start “That was the most intense orgasm I've had in a WHILE,” I say picking myself up off Chris and sitting on the bed trying to regain myself.

“I could see why Chris was so pussy whipped” matt chuckles.

“I fucking told you she's fucking incredible” Chris chimes in.

“I'm literally right here Chris,” I softly laugh “Can I wear one of you guys’ clothes? I don't feel like getting mine back on”

“On it” both boys said at the same time.

“I'll get her a hoodie” matt says rushing to his room.

“I'll grab the pants” Chris walks over to his drawer tossing me a pair of pants as Matt walks back in tossing me one of his hoodies.

Chris and Matt both throw on the clothes they previously had on and I throw on the clothes I had borrowed.

My mind was flooding with reminiscing thoughts of the recent event that had just happened while Matt and Chris just acted like nothing happened but I brushed it off and just wanted to let things happen as the day progressed.

“So can we watch a movie or DoorDash some food?” i say breaking the science of all of us just sitting in Chris's bedroom

“Absolutely,” they say in unison.

“Get me some Alfredo” I smile at them.

“Already had it in my cart” Chris laughs.

After they had ordered the food both of them laid down next to me and handed me the remote, I turned it on to Gossip Girl and Chris instantly adjusted himself as this was the show we watched every time I came over to spend the night.

“Wait did chuck sleep with her? I thought he was with Blair?” Chris says turning to me.

“No remember Chris, Blair, and Chuck broke up when Chuck slept with Dan’s sister,” I say laughing

“Woah woah” Matt starts “Chris actually watches this shit with you?” Matt chuckles.

“Shut up” Chris groans out of embarrassment.

“Oh yeah and he fucking loves it” I add

“I'm so lost,” Matt says shaking his head smiling.

“I'll catch you up one day,” I say smiling at Matt

“So where does this leave us” Chris says more seriously as he turns his head to both Matt and I.

“Just shut up, for now, Chris, I don't wanna worry about what girl you're gonna bring home after I leave, just let me watch this” i breath out.

The thought of where Chris and i’s relationship was gonna go wasn't in my head until he brought it up. But now I'm facing another problem. What am I gonna do with matt? He was absolutely amazing and his dick game was no fucking joke. But in the wise words of Katherine Pierce “it's okay to love them both, i did”

And i happen to love both of them.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

A/N pt 2: AHH SO HERES LES PT 2, I HOPE YOU ENJOY!!! i don’t plan on making this a series but i hope you guys loved it!! also if you can’t tell i love gossip girl lol ALSO TYSM FOR 600 FOLLOWERS!!

[ryo-apologist]

Shiggy's Slutty Lil' Waist

Shigaraki Tomura x Reader

CW: Smut, Minors DNI, I will block your ass, talk about crop tops on men and gray sweatpants. Don't like? Bully me it'll be foreplay <3 /j

AN: I saw a picture of Johnny Depp in a crop top. We all know the one. And yk what? Shiggy has the same slutty lil waist. And so far all three of my posts have been about Shiggy. Will that change? Idk ask me next week. It's my comfort character and I can seek toxic comfort WHEN I WANT-

~Darling XOXO

☾ Shigaraki Tomura has the sluttiest fucking waist.

☾ That's it. That's the post.

☾ No, I'm kidding. I'll elaborate for thirsty whores like me. And Barbie. Shout out to them.

☾ Shigaraki obviously has the fits going for him. Name one outfit he wore that didn't slap. Exactly. You can't. So contrary to what people think, I think Shigaraki takes a bit (Not a lot, do not get me wrong) of care in how he looks. He has an image to maintain after all. How can he be expected to be the big, bad leader of the LOV if he doesn't look like it.

☾ That being said, I think at some point it just comes naturally to him to dress in ways that suit his body.

☾ And we all know he has the body to do so. After he left that big ol' test tube? Did y'all SEE his arch? Fuck man I couldn't arch better if I TRIED. Like,-

☾ Okay before this post turns into a tiktok comment section on the thirstiest of Gojo Edits, let me continue.

☾ My point here, is he probably doesn't dress like we see in the anime all the time. That would get tiring. Drain his mana level if you would. And he needs time to recharge.

☾ So, In this essay post, I'm here to argue that Shigaraki Tomura wears crop tops that barely brush past his nipples to show off his slutty little waist.

☾ You know, the shirts that had a hole in the front? Instead of sewing them like a reasonable man, he rips them from that hole all the way around. Which means his crop tops vary in length. Every single one of them.

☾ And that leaves perfect access for you to wrap your hands around his waist and just hold him like that. He hates it. No, he doesn't.

☾ In all truth, Shigaraki loves the feelings of your hands on his midsection because it's such an intimate place to him. He loves feeling you touch him with no fear, even though he knows the second he's done with you, he's taking those hands and dusting you.

☾ Y'all didn't think I was about to turn my greatest number one villain into a *gasp* nice person, did you? /lh

☾ Sorry, not here. Shigaraki does not do love. Only with me, dw guys I'll treat him right :). He's a man with needs that get in the way of his bigger plans. Sorry, not sorry.

☾ Anyway, trail your hands up his ribs and play with his nipples. Pinch them and roll them between your thumb and forefinger. It buys you another day. Additionally, you get to play with his fat tits.

☾ He has one shirt that he outgrew after his transformation that absolutely hugs his double dee, mommy milking, calcium cannon, honga-bazongas, dippin dots, whatyoudoingouthere withallthattiddies, boinga boinga, bouncing bangers.

☾ This one magically turned into a crop top. It was crazy. Shoutout to whoever put it in the wash to shrink it. They a real one.

☾ It was me.

☾ And it's like that one meme of the guy looking at something with his pecs right there and the lady is just O-O at them. Which...Yeah me too.

☾ Anyway, he wears it all the time because he's convinced it still fits.

☾ Play with his...pecs... through the shirt. He has the most sensitive nipples and it just brushes against them just right and...He likes it is all I'm gonna say.

☾ Now, I know what we're all thinking, 'Darling, what about the pants?' And Darling's got you, baby cakes.

☾ I only tease in the bedroom :)

☾ Grey sweatpants season is EVERY season for this man. He's got like three pairs he cycles through. Kurogiri HATES them. He tries to throw them out and replace them with sensible jeans or slacks.

☾ Never works. He's like a raccoon with stocks of them EVERYWHERE.

☾ Anyway, so he's got his gray sweats and his slutty little crop tops. Let me paint this picture for Y'all.

☾ Shigaraki Tomura wearing a tight white t-shirt that's shrunk into a crop top, clinging to his chest as he stretches his arms above his head, biceps straining against the fabric. His toned abdomen is constricting with his every breath of his, on full display along with the angles of his slutty lil' waist. Your eyes follow down to his belly button and following the trail of white hairs that lead to his v-line, the waistband of his pants just barely clinging to his hips but hugging the delicious outline of his cock, which, while even flaccid, is enough to make anyone drool.

☾ Y'all seeing the vision now? Because I do.

☾ I'm seeing the vision. I'm salivating over the vision. I'm ready to turn into a Gojo fan girl at this point. Like I'm drooling. No lube. No protection. No-

☾ And if you start playing with his tits like this? In this outfit?

☾ He's trying to swat you away, you're getting in the way of his game, but your hands are feeling too good. He's only half paying attention to the pixels anyway, but it's about the principle of letting you get your way.

☾ But you can see you're winning with the way his cock twitches in his pants, throbbing in plain sight.

☾ Your lips trace along his neck and suddenly the pause screen pops up. There's a dark patch already soaking through his pants and they're lose enough your fingers can dip right past the band and trace along his shaft.

☾ He's already groaning, debating if this is worth his time. Worth the distraction.

☾ When your pretty little fingers wrap around his cock and give it a firm tug, he decides it is.

☾ Do not think he rolls over and let's you do as you please however.

☾ No, no, no. He's pulling you over the couch and pinning you as he gets rid of the bigger distractions stopping from doing exactly what he wants.

☾ If he leaves you a dripping, drooling mess on the couch, that's your own fault really.

☾ But who really cares at that point, because in the end, you won anyway <3

☾ But FUCK does Shiggy have a slutty lil' waist.

[cowgirl-interrupted]

Another house md episode!

12 year old: idk guys, my mom says I shouldn't go to the rat fights anymore..

His 14 year old brother: what are you? A wuss?

12 year old: :( come on, stop!

Rat: *bites him*

14 year old: you're gonna get rabies and die!!

-at hospital-

House: *in clinic duty, meeting boy* mommy not give you enough attention?

Boy: my perants are getting divorced :(

House: *sees strange brown splotch* hmm, I'm taking you now.

-later in proper hospital-

Chase: y'know, I was sick when I was a kid once

Boy: bleh 😵

Mother: what's happening?!

Foreman: he's going into hypervibrosis!

*we get close up of them putting a tube down his throat*

-meanwhile in Wilson's office-

Wilson: so you chose him because his perants are getting divorced?

House: no, it's because he's interesting.

-in main office-

Cameron: he's twitching

House: maybe it's rabies, that or he's pregnant, take your pick

Chase: he's not rabid, he's just got a bruise and is sad because of his perants divorce.

Foreman: how would you know? Did your perants ever divorce?

Chase: I wish :(

House: do a lumbar puncture

Cameron: but if he twitches his back he'll touch a nerve or something

House: honk shoo honk shoo

Cuddy: house! Can I talk to you 🥺❓

House: uh oh, WOMAN alert!

-in Cuddy's office-

Cuddy: someone is suing you for one million dollars

House: guess my severe gambling addiction will have to wait until I've sorted this out.

-in hospital room-

Older brother: I'm sorry I made you go to the rat fights, here, I brought you something *pulls out dead rat*

Sick brother: :) *goes into stroke*

Chase: stand back!

-in main office-

Foreman: it must be crazy mouse disease!

Chase: no way, that's only in Rat City

Foreman: you got any better ideas

House: either way, kid's losing his eyeballs, might as well just run the test

Older brother: wait!! It's me! I've been giving him rats!

Cameron: you were taking him to rat fights, that's why he was bit by a rat!

Older brother: it's our perants divorce, I was too hard on him 😞💔

House: thanks for owning up to it, now we can pin the hospital bill on you!

Older brother: WHAT

-cut to them giving the kid some pills and him laughing and smiling with his dead rat, Paramore starts playing as the camera pans over everyone looking at a picture of a rat and their perants in their selective offices-

[lowkeyrobin]

Hiii im a chronically ill and disabled person and I was wondering if you could do a Ranboo x gender neutral reader that’s having a doctors appointment (list of things they would do for comfort when reader is fearful of being there?) :3

hi!!! and yes of course I could!! hope you enjoy! sorry if anything seems a little inaccurate bc I took some stuff I already know and used it for this and stuff but everyone's different lmao

RANBOO ; minor nosocomephobia

summary ; you take ranboo to the doctors with you for some moral support

warnings ; language, talk about hospitals/illness, nail biting and nervous scratching

genre ; fluff

word count ; 578

masterlist

he notices you fidgeting around as you're making your way up the elevator, picking at your nails, scratching your wrists, frequently running a hand through your hair, etcetera

they silently rub your shoulder and give you a little comforting nod as you travel down to the office where the nurses were directing you

you guys have to wait like a fucking hour after the nurse checks your blood pressure and does some basic procedures and whatnot

meanwhile they eventually reach into their enormous pockets and pull out a little fidget toy for you

"you better stop picking at your nails before I smack you. slash lighthearted"

he ensures that while he blabbers on about dumb shit, that you at least smile or giggle

he understands that you're nervous and with the long amount of waiting, it doesn't make it any better, delaying it more just makes you more anxious

if your focus strays away from the fidget toy he brought for you, he's got three more don't even worry bro

while the doctor is asking you questions, you keep looking over at them like they're gonna speak for you because you don't know how to answer some of the questions

at one point you have no idea what the doctor meant because the words got jumbled in your head from the anxiety

ranboo quickly answered for you in a heartbeat and apologized, considering they saw you silent trying to think

while the doctor has you do some physical tests to make sure your heart is running at a "you-normal" pace, he's hyping you up

if you have to do a 6 minute walk to track the way your lungs and heart pump blood and give you air to breathe, he's at one end of the hallway quietly shouting compliments and getting you through it with a little less embarrassment

the doctor is confused but supportive of him doing this for you considering they always knew you seemed very anxious around the the hospital and you seemed a little less scared about it

whatever to get you talking a little more could really go the extra mile, they're happy that you found a good way to do that as well, especially with it being a person

if for any reason they need to stick tubes on you or take ultrasounds around your body, he'll let you squeeze his hand all that you need to

they promise you your favorite fast food/takeout afterwards that way you'll try and get through it a little smoother

if you need him outside the room to talk to your doctor, he leaves in a heartbeat, he'll never disrespect your privacy, don't worry

he took pictures of all your medication bottles before leaving since he knew you'd forget to

you guys both messily botch the names while trying to pronounce them and you and the doctor all get a laugh out of it

he writes down everything the doctor says/recommends for you

they talk with the doctor in private for a bit and stuff while you're signing papers and shit

the sigh of relief once you leave 😭 ran literally looks down at you with a "yeah?"

on the way back down to the parking garage you're still fidgeting with the little tangle they'd given you because obviously going to the doctors because you're chronically ill isn't the funnest thing ever

gives you a big hug once you get to the car

"see? you're so brave and awesome"

"well, thanks for coming with me"

[fictionkinfessions]

ok. ok i do feel a little bad about this on the off chance that my guy is reading this and wondering why tf im putting him on blast. but also. i gotta get this off my chest holy f-

ok chat AITA? i (55 m) met my best friend (52 m) when we were both still in college. we really hit it off and were a crazy crime solving duo. i wouldn't have turned out a hero if it wasn't for him, and i definitely wouldn't have been able to do all the crazy awesome shit he helped me do. he pulled a kind of mad scientist trope, but made it classy and ethical. dude was kind of a full stop genius, and not only was he an engineer, he also was a groundbreaking dna scientist and a medical doctor. we got close, like, really close, but he was tragically straight. like, really straight. world's most heterosexualest man. i tried to take it gracefully, not pushing things, altho we had a few incidents that i can only really describe by saying, "eh it was college." 🥴

so, he's straight.

fast forward a bit and basically we both have crazy successful careers and he wins a nobel peace prize and is recognized for his genius and we both get super rich and mad famous. we're living fabulously, right? regular meetups, long letters, gifts in the mail, the whole nine.

he calls me up one day and is like, "hey, come visit, i have a daughter."

im like "YO" and i get my ass on a plane, and i meet my best friend's beautiful bouncing baby girl. my foot in mouth self asks about the kid's mom, and he seems really sad, and gives an evasive, nonspecific answer. i let it lie and kind of assume that the kid's mom died horribly, that it's too painful to speak of. in my line of work, tragic shit like that happened to people all the time. so i started visiting way more often, especially when the baby started crawling. now here's where it gets. confusing.

the kid popped out quirkless, which is really rare. it's a recessive trait, and something something the environment, it's like ridiculously rare for a quirkless kid to be born, ESPECIALLY if even one parent has a quirk. i talk to the kid about her lack of quirk status as she grows, she's chilling, has great resources and good self esteem. sometimes she asks about her mom, says she doesn't know her mom's quirk. i can only tell this kid that i never met her mom, never saw a picture of her, david has a wedding ring on but i never heard of no wedding. again, not the most uncommon, but it gets to be weird that there's no pictures. when i accidentally asked again, best friend shows me a bunch of childhood pictures of the kid, no mom, no wedding. best friend's parents are pictured, grandparenting this kid's situation up, but there's no inlaws or extended family of the mom. and this kid is bright, she asks some serious questions. so chat here's the real kicker.

the kid kinda looks like me.

like, not a ton, i guess, but she's got my hair color and kinda has my eyes. but it's subtle, and i assume im a conspiracy theorist for years. like, how and why, right?

so, fast forward again, im functioning as this kid's uncle, hauling a ton of gifts out for her every time i saw her for birthdays or holidays, and she gets old enough to start making jokes and Suspicious Comments. im like lollerskates wut. wut do u mean. but she never clarifies, she just keeps up the running gag that like, her dad is closeted crushing on me, and that she's potentially a test tube baby cloned from my dna. which would explain the quirkless thing btw. but i assume it's not serious like that, you know how being fifteen can feel, sometimes it really seems one way and then it's another. i don't take the jokes seriously, and i kinda don't wanna Start Something or Be Really Weird. i tell the kid she can think of me as a parent and that i think of her as my own, with quite a bit of guilt because despite not having parents i was with it enough to know that being in another country the majority of the time is kind of a poor way to show up for a kid you're claiming as yours. but if she wants me and feels the connection im definitely not about to just rip that away from her either!!! who am i to say who's parent i am or am not? that's a matter of the heart. anyways i tried my best to be available and present and a good role model. but chat. chat if she was thinking it too then what the fuck does that mean.

chat AITA for having a situationship that situationed so hard a kid was birthed. should i have asked for a paternity test like IM LAUGHING MY ASS OFF but also wtfffffff. im sure there's a timeline where im just being insanely self centered and making things about myself that had nothing to do with me. BUT ALSO WTF THE FUCK. did i asexually spawn a kid by sheer force of fanboy? is it weird this isn't the only time this happens in mha canon??? does bruno mars is gay???????

#✴️💙🦸‍♂️

[beelzeballing]

i am going to need to brute force this, arent i. well. HELLO MUTUALS. youre not going anywhere YOU ARE STAYING RIGHT HERE and i will explain GNOSIA CHARACTERS to you. do with this what you will.

SETSU: nonbinary legend. deutaroganist. very smart and kind but they also throw a guy out of the airlock for being annoying, calling them babe and misgendering them. everyone wants them, fish fear them.

RAQIO/RACIO: nonbinary legend number TWO. know it all little BASTARD. their hobbies include a little trolling, having a superiority complex and betraying their allies if currently convenient. i absolutely adore them.

YURIKO: fucked up cyber space-shrine maiden. LITERALLY yoinks the protagonist's plot armor after the tutorial is over. she is extremely scary

SHIGEMICHI: this is an 80 y/o human man who had an accident as a child and because he had a fucking special interest in aliens or smn like that his dad got him some shiny new skin. which makes him look like a stereotypical alien. hes as silly and goofy as he looks. an absolute FOOL. i love him.

STELLA: the ship AI. just wants to be A Real Boy. PAINFULLY heterosexual but she's very sweet.

JONAS: ship captain. he is so fucked up i dont even know whats wrong with him JUST LOOK AT HIM. fucking SPACE COWBOY. hes a weirdo. he doesn't fit in and he doesn't wanna fit in. i have never seen him without that stupid hat on. thats weird.

KUKRUSHKA: mute but like. i dont fucking know, ~telepathatically~ communicates. something is also wrong with her. one time she asked me to take a bunch of people out for her because she Didnt Trust Them and i did! and then she killed me. cunt. shes also like? a doll???

SQ: canonically a test tube baby. local bisexual gaslight-gatekeep-girlboss. she's a bit of a manipulative bitch but we love her for it.

CHIPIE: LITERALLY cat otherkin. has an entire cat thats been transplanted into his neck to aid with his transition into a cat. i swear to god im not fucking with you.

OTOME: beluga whale. BELUGA WHALE. IN A LITTLE CART. WITH LITTLE MECHANICAL HANDS. ARE YOU SEEING THIS SHIT. HELLO? HELLO??????

i ran out of PICTURES PER POST. I HATE YOU TUMBLR. theres a couple of characters missing (namely sha-ming, gina, comet and remnan) but i made sure to have the most relevant ones here. but tl;dr

sha-ming is the guy who gets thrown out of the airlock for getting on setsu's nerves

gina is literally just some chick

comet is the host for an alien space mold that can break loose and kill everyone on the ship

remnan is honestly more anxiety than man

[tavolgisvist]

Maxwell’s Silver Hammer

Joan was quizzical, studied pataphysical Science in the home Late nights all alone with a test tube Maxwell Edison majoring in medicine

Maxwell is possibly a descendant of James Clerk Maxwell, who was a pioneer of electromagnetism. Edison is obviously related to Thomas Edison. They’re two inventor types. <...> Part of the fun here is that Edison is connected to the lightbulb and the phonograph, and here we were making a gramophone record.

(Paul McCartney, The Lyrics, 2021, about Maxwell’s Silver Hammer)

Painting to Hammer a Nail In was a wooden panel from which a hammer hung on a chain; a jar of nails sat on a chair below it. Viewers were invited to hammer one of the nails into the panel. When its surface was covered, the work was considered finished. When Lennon saw the piece at a 1966 exhibition, he asked Ono if he could hammer an imaginary nail into the panel. His question inspired her to make a version of the work in stainless steel and glass, which she dedicated to him.

Calls her on the phone Can I take you out to the pictures, Joan?

by blondecasino

But as she’s getting ready to go A knock comes on the door Bang bang Maxwell’s silver hammer Came down upon her head Clang clang Maxwell’s silver hammer Made sure that she was dead

The thing about Maxwell is that he’s a serial killer, and his hammer isn’t an ordinary household hammer but, as I envision it, one that doctors use to hit your knee. Not made of rubber, though. Silver.

(Paul McCartney, The Lyrics, 2021, about Maxwell’s Silver Hammer)

Painting to Hammer a Nail in (Yoko Ono, 1967)

Also invoked is the world of the children’s nursery rhyme, where people are always getting their heads chopped off – and of course, there’s also the Queen of Hearts from Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, who’s always saying, ‘Off with their heads!’

(Paul McCartney, The Lyrics, 2021, about Maxwell’s Silver Hammer)

Yoko Ono during her early ‘Half-a-Wind’ exhibition at the Lisson Gallery in London (11 October – 14 November 1967), photo by Clay Perry)

I've got a girl they call the queen of the hop Well I love my queen Do you know who I mean

(Bobby Darin, Queen of the Hop, 1961)

Back in school again, Maxwell plays the fool again Teacher gets annoyed

Songs like this, where you’re calling someone out on their behaviour, are quite commonplace now, but back then it was a fairly new ‘genre’. The idea of too many people ‘preaching practices’ was definitely aimed at John telling everyone what they ought to do – telling me, for instance, that I ought to go into business with Allen Klein. I just got fed up with being told what to do, so I wrote this song.

(Paul McCartney, The Lyrics, 2021, about Too Many People)

Wishing to avoid an unpleasant scene She tells Max to stay when the class has gone away So he waits behind Writing fifty times I must not be so

I’d been able to accept Yoko in the studio, sitting on a blanket in front of my amp. I’d worked hard to come to terms with that. <...> If he fell in love with this woman, what did that have to do with me? Not only did I have to let him do it, but I had to admire him for doing it. That was the position I eventually reached. There was nothing else I could do but be cool with it.

(Paul McCartney, The Lyrics, 2021, about Too Many People)

But when she turns her back on the boy He creeps up from behind Bang bang Maxwell’s silver hammer Came down upon her head Clang clang Maxwell’s silver hammer Made sure that she was dead

This song is also an analogy for when something goes wrong out of the blue, as I was beginning to find appening around this time in our business dealings.

(Paul McCartney, The Lyrics, 2021, about Maxwell’s Silver Hammer)

The whole story in a nutshell is that we were having a meeting in 1969, and John showed up and said he’d met this guy Allen Klein, who had promised Yoko an exhibition in Syracuse, and then matter-of-factly John told us he was leaving the band.* That’s basically how it happened. It was three to one because the other two went with John, so it was looking like Allen Klein was going to own our entire Beatles empire. I was not too keen on that idea.

(Paul McCartney, The Lyrics, 2021, about Too Many People)

*Yes, the song was writing and recorded befor the meeting where John told he was leaving the band but our lads discussed about it during Get Back sessions - and Paul 'was not too keen on that idea', so…

Recording sessions were always good because no matter what our personal troubles were, no matter what was happening on the business front, the minute we sat down to make a song we were in good shape. Right until the end there was always a great joy in working together in the studio. So there we were, recording a song like ‘Maxwell’s Silver Hammer’ and knowing we would never have the opportunity to perform it. That possibility was over. It had been knocked on the head like one of Maxwell’s victims. Bang bang.

(Paul McCartney, The Lyrics, 2021, about Maxwell’s Silver Hammer)

Q: When you were working on McCartney in London, was it strange not being able to bounce ideas off the others? A: Yeah, it was. Because right up until that point I’d been working with John, the best collaborator in the world. Suddenly that was taken away. It was very difficult. But I thought, ‘Well, I’m not going to worry about it. I’m going to sling some ideas down, have a little go on the drums.’ I had my own stuff at the house for my own fun, I wasn’t going into the studio with The Beatles. I wasn’t sweating it. Then suddenly, it became something. “OK, this is an album.”

(Paul McCartney, interview with Tom Pinnock for Uncut, Nov 2020)

(Get me right, it's not about Yoko, John or Paul, it's about the song and some free associations)

[maxphilippa]

Nickel ii

My favorite thing about him: Genuinely he's one of the most well developed characters and the usage of subtext on him is beautiful. The way they tell you that he is a flawed person, but they never just let him not try to get better or not try to acknowledge what he did wrong. The way they show you how even IF he had his very well fair reasons, he knows he fucked up either way. But they don't purely villanize him like the fandom does. Because he's morally gray. And I like that a lot. His writing is consistent (for the very most part... we'll get into that) and his design is neat.

My least favorite thing about him: Genuinely some of the inconsistencies of him in season 2 and how they've could had have made him be more... openly caring towards Suitcase? So it could be a bit more shown that he does care about her a lot? But mostly just the inconsistencies about him saying "once you make an alliance something personal it stops being an alliance" and like.

Boy. What did you do. Also I KNOW this is because they didn't know what to do with Nickel on early s2 but. Just his characterization thing? Again. We know he cares about Suitcase and fucked things up. But I think that it would've been easier for the fandom to actually get them A BIT RIGHT or for it to not completely rely on subtext, if Nickel was shown to at least respect/care about Suitcase as an ally. However they trying to fix that and I get it. I don't mind the subtext the fandom is just insufferable.

My favorite line: "You don't owe me forgiveness / I just wanted to keep what we had. "

brOTP: knife, silver, microphone, bot, test tube, and etc.

OTP: world's worst polycule, clover, lightbulb, paintbrush, fan, and some others I can't really remember.

nOTP: ... blueberry, honestly. and also silver and knife.

random headcanon:

unpopular opinion: HE'S A CISGENDER MAN AND INSANELY BISEXUAL 💥💥💥 I think that Nickel's character is one of the ones that suffers from the worst characterization and treatment on the fandom, despite the fandom in theory liking complex characters, he sure becomes the most awful, ableist, misogynist character ever in the fandom and like. No! He's not! A complex character is that! Complex characters are meant to do shit but with reasons!

They're not justified but they EXPLAIN the character! Nickel was scared of getting manipulated, or his alliance getting manipulated by Balloon, so of course he would be an asshole towards the guy. You guys kinds forget that Balloon kind of sucked on s1. And of course this doesn't mean that Nickel's treatment towards Baseball and ESPECIALLY towards Suitcase isn't justified, but it doesn't mean he was a dick to them without reason. Yes, it was fucked up, but he wanted to protect them. And Nickel genuinely regrets how he was because he finally knows that HE was the problem. The whole point of his arc was him taking accountability for his actions. Sometimes I think that the fandom just treats complex women "better" because they mischaracterize them and say. Well. High of tone things about them. But can't do that with Nickel. Which thank God because man he suffers from enough OOC here. My boy is just going through shit.

song i associate with him: never love an anchor, tongues and teeth, take me to war, copacabana, love like you, escapism, everything stays

favorite pictures of him:

[vikenticomeshome]

Cyberchase - Zorgon the Evil Wizard

Let's talk about the Zorgon The Evil Wizard. This was a Cyberchase villain who was only featured in the singular chapter book, "The Search for the Power Orb". We've seen wizards and witches in Cyberchase before, such as Stumblesnore, Melvin (brother of Merlin), and Wicked.

So, we know what to expect, right?

Before we get to see Zorgon, we already know that this is going to be very bad. He lives on a Cybersite called Mount Doom, so he's a clear reference to Sauron from Lord of the Rings. Digit is terrified of him and horrified at the idea of going to Mount Doom. Zorgon is presented as the second most feared being in all of Cyberspace, just behind The Hacker. This was a comparison to The Hacker from 2003 as well, before his villain decay.

We get to hear about some of his exploits. I'll block the picture for now, since I have a higher-resolution one coming up.

Once, he turned all the inhabitants of Solaria into pigs. Then, he held hostage all of the water from Shangri-la in a small test tube until he was paid off in cybergold.

The Solaria one is pretty cruel since pigs can get sunburned. The Shangri-la one is something truly special though. The implication here is that he went up against Master Pi and his soldiers and won. I know that The Hacker took over the site once, but it seems like Master Pi allowed it to happen because he wanted to give Buzz and Delete the golden drop test (Keep the jar sealed for peace, or take out the golden drop for infinitely doubling wealth). The idea of Master Pi paying someone off is unthinkable.

Anyway, what does he look like?

Where do we even start? I've never seen a wizard with a double-pointed hat. That has to be an attempt to imply demonic horns. He's also just so tall. I'm going to assume that Digit is about 2-3 feet tall. Let me try something.

Ah, so, if we count the hat (and we should, since I think he may actually have horns under there), Zorgon is between 8 and 12 feet tall. There is a point later on where he shrinks them down to the size of mice, but it takes place after this picture. How is this guy second to Hacker in any contest?

But what does Zorgon do when he discovers the kids have slipped into his house?

He proceeds to trap them with a spell and then test out a new potion he just made up on them. It shrinks them down to the size of mice. He does not take them seriously as a threat in the slightest. This is one of the few times that the kids have been affected by magic/potions from Cyberspace as well. Recall that they were unaffected by Wicked's "Spell of the Mean Green", and they were immune to magnetite poisoning.

And then he sends his Cybercat Zird to eat the children.

Thankfully, Zorgon has not been keeping his equipment maintained. They find a potion that turns anything it touches to stone, and they use it to turn Zird to stone, so we know that Zorgon can do that.

The kids desperately search for a leaking barrel containing a potion that will let them grow big again.

We have a potion that causes anything, metal included, to burst into flames and disappear. We have a potion that causes any object to sprout brown hair all of the place. I don't want to know what he intended to use those for.

The kids find a potion to get big again. However..

I couldn't find these words anywhere, so I suspect they are gibberish. Given an earlier line about how no one who has entered Zorgon's cave has ever returned, I assume he was going to kill the kids here.

The kids defeat Zorgon when Izzy dumps a random potion on him. It could have been a death potion for all he knew.

Yeah, Zorgon had a brainwashing potion so powerful that it worked against him. How was this guy second to The Hacker again?

As far as I know, Zorgon has never appeared beyond this point. Presumably he's still out there, brainwashed into being nice. I guess he's not really a villain anymore, but what does he do?

[mayybirds]

TtVtL Chapter 8 Snippet~

I was hoping to have the new chap out this weekend, but it didn't quite get together in time. We're looking at sometime late next week for the update. So for now, here's a lil preview to whet your appetites:

Eventually, once the pins and needles in his legs have come and gone, and with some reluctant help from Eveline, who grumbles the whole time about it, Ethan manages to finagle himself, with minimal flopping, into a sitting position, and then gets to his feet once more, this time successfully. He stretches out his aching limbs, and then pulls the rough-hewn wood table that is the centerpiece of the cabin into the patch of filtered light cast by the window, places the chairs at either end for himself and Eveline.

Sunlight, Ethan decides, is a glorious thing he is never going to take for granted again. Not after yesterday’s long night, where he’d feared to never see the sun again, to die in darkness and decay. 

Eveline sits in hers carefully, regarding him unsurely as Ethan flops in his and rubs a weary hand over his face. He feels remarkably well-rested, all things considered, but the aches and pains in his body are definitely not minor. What he probably needs is food, and water, and yet more sleep, in all honesty, but while he’s certainly going to prioritize the first two, he’s not hedging his bets on getting more of the third. It’s already lucky the BSAA and Umbrella haven’t found them yet. 

When he pulls his hand away from his face, Eveline is still staring silently at him, and Ethan realizes he has no idea how to even start this conversation—what needs to be said now to get them situated and out of here without her freaking out on him, and what must come later—and flounders. “Uh…” Great start, asshole, he thinks sourly. “Sorry you couldn’t wake me up earlier. I’m…not usually such a heavy sleeper. Next time just kick me awake, or something.” The second it’s out of his mouth, his long history of reacting violently to being awoken forcefully occurs to him, and Ethan winces. “Actually, wait, don’t do that.”

Eveline just keeps staring, and he coughs awkwardly. 

“How long were you waiting for me to wake up?”

Eveline finally breaks eye contact to look at her hands, fidgeting with them in her lap. “Don’t know. A while.”

“Shit,” Ethan mumbles. With the cursed ambiguities of kid-speak, that could mean anything from thirty minutes to hours. “Sorry. You must have been…” Don’t say scared. “Hungry?” It comes out sounding more like a question than anything else, timid and unsure. He tries again. “I mean…it’s probably been a while since you ate, right?” Hell, the last meal they’d both been present for had been Marguerite’s god-awful rotting carcass of a dinner, and he severely doubts Eveline ate any more than he did. Though, in retrospect, maybe the rotten food was good for people who were infected? Mold grew on rotten things, right? Fuck, he’d never been that good at the biological sciences. He was a computer guy for a reason. 

Eveline is looking at him again, though, half-wary but seemingly half-intrigued by the concept of food, so he plows on. “I know I’m hungry, at least. Starved,” and he manages a half-hearted laugh that quickly trails off. “What about you?”

“I ate,” Eveline mumbles, not really answering the question, and points a finger out behind his shoulder. When Ethan glances over, he notices for the first time a couple empty cans on the bench next to the sink that look like they’ve been practically licked clean, as well as several empty test-tubes scattered about with the remnants of black sludge clinging to their glass sides, and winces—both at the clear picture being painted of Eveline having to feed herself what was in all likelihood cold beans while he took a fucking nap, as well as at the…other stuff.

He’s not going to ask Eveline if she ate mold samples. He’s not. If only for his own sanity. 

“Okay,” he says after a long moment, “But…are you hungry?”

Eveline shrugs, and he takes that as a yes. 

[crazylittlejester]

Time-Master Sword anon

Also Nate grey is referred to as Silly Boy here

ok so disclaimer I haven’t read all of his comics yet (THERES 75 😭) but if I may I would like to rant to you abt this silly little goober with images I stole off the internet 😍/j

Ok so the comic starts out with the little guy coming out of his little fucking test tube 😍 and bro comes out and is confronted with Mr. Sinister which ima call Mr.Silly bc I’m not spelling that out. And bro just takes his hand is like your all good but then notices he’s shivering and gives him (what he calls) “A sensory weave 🤓🤓👆👆” It’s fucking clothes btw anyways it looks like this

Nate grey a Pkmn fan confirmed 🤨🤨🤨.

anyways Mr. Silly is a fucking Narc and names him after himself (Mr sillies real name is Nathaniel Essex) and then gets a call from an evil Hank McCoy who is literally a grey beast but whatever

Anyways silly boy wanders around the orphanage/school/church whatever (ok a bit of context for his powers bro is like as strong as the Phoenix force at base level and um he can also like feel the leftover emotions of an object that someone last touched there’s a lot more as well but I’m lazy 😍) So he goes into a classroom that his dad (bio) was last in when he was younger and Mr Silly notices hes missing and gets really fucking pissed anyways Mr silly find him in the cafeteria after he’s abt to blow the place up and silly boy just says

And takes him back to the lab where Mr silly is like “Our world is fucking fucked”and shows him images of the outside world and then goes “this is why you can’t leave” but silly boy sees some mutants abt to get imprisoned and teleports their astral plane selves over there and stops one of the faires momentarily from taking this girls aunt before the teleported back (Mr silly installed a fail safe just in case silly boy did that) and silly boy is like “wtf dude I was just abt to help them 👹👹” And Mr silly is like “HE CAN THINK FOR HIMSELF!!????” But dw guys he gets Silly boy a fucking teddy bear (which is a really wholesome moment) and all is well

(IM SORRY FOR THE PHOTO DUML BUT LOOK AT HIM HES SMILING!!!) (also eyelash routine drop when little bro)

Anyways Mr silly is Like “Get in ur fucking bath so you can get older in a few weeks”

And then he says good night to Nathan and Nathan being the silly boy who has already developed his powers at like what? 6? Says goodnight to him in his head

Anyways I’ll rant abt him again but this is just the first comic 😍😍 also don’t be fooled Mr silly is terrible father 0/10

also take this shitty picture I drew bc it makes me laugh

sorry it took so long i wanted to make sure i actually had the time to read this

CALLIN HIM MR SILLY TOOK ME OUT, GOOD LORD ALSKKDKD

i love that he gets him a bear

THE ART AT THE END KILLED ME ALDKDKS

[dreamborne--db]

Harlequinade: Chapter 1

A piece of foolish or silly behaviour.

Midari’s stupid choice(again) causes Sayaka and Mary to turn into toddlers.

The Momobami twins have to take care of them and they’re not very good at it.

They seek help from many people.

Terano finds herself having to babysit to children. One who cries too much and one who bites people too much.

Midari struggles to find a cure.

*****

“Ew! What is that?” Yuriko gagged, staring suspiciously at the two test tubes her partner was holding.

Once again, the masochist was up to no good.

“Relax! Uhehe…” Midari cackled. “I’m just playing a small prank! It’s for the twins! It’s gonna give them big ears, small eyes, three more legs and cause them to lose all their fur and hair!”

“What?! Are you crazy? No! I’m not letting you! We’re going to get killed! You always get caught!”

“Nonsense, I’ve become a master after years of experience honing my skills,” the werewolf said dismissively. She licked her lips as she dumped the contents of the respective test tubes into two separate wine glasses that were already filled with Whimsical Nightfall.

“Look how it just disappears completely into the drink!” Midari exclaimed in delight. “Oh man, I can’t wait to see Sayaka freak out when her beloved starts to shed and bald!”

Yuriko rolled her eyes as Midari proceeded to cackle and dance around the gigantic dining hall while wearing a paper crown on her head.

”I’m the King! Hohoho!”

This wasn’t going to go well.

*****

“What a feast!” Yumeko giggled at the smorgasbord of tantalising delicacies on the luxurious table.

“Oh! Today’s drink is Whimsical Nightfall!” Sayaka gasped in excitement.

“Mhm,” Kirari chuckled as she wrapped her tails around her human wife, who blushed at this. Carrying her wife in her arms, she sat her down on her lap, nuzzling her neck with a soft purr.

“Geez, can’t you guys live a day without flirting?” Mary grumbled as everyone else took their respective seats. She went quiet, however, as Ririka pecked her on the cheek.

A while later and everyone was digging into the food. As usual, Kaede was lonely, Midari was rowdy and quarreling with Mary, and Kirari and Sayaka were being annoyingly affectionate with each other.

Kiraris left eye glowed and she let out a low soothing growl, tightening her grip on her wife and kissing the top of her head. Her Kitsune side simply loved Sayaka too much and took every chance to show her love for her.

The glow disappeared shortly after and the Kitsune Queen offered her wife her drink.

Midari paused at this sight, paling instantly. ‘Shit! I forgot those two like to exchange drinks just for the fun of it!’

Beside her, Yuriko started to tremble and she grabbed Midari’s hand in terror, her Kitsune ears flattening against her head in fear.

As Sayaka raised the glass to her lips, Midari slammed her hands on the table, startling everyone and stalling her friend’s hand.

“What is it now? You lost your revolver?” Yumemi groaned.

“I think Kirari and Sayaka shouldn’t switch drinks, we’ve had enough PDA today,” Midari said hurriedly.

“But you like them to be affectionate so you can add pictures to your Kirasaya album,” Ririka said, frowning.

“Nyahaha!” Runa cackled. “A little bit suspicious, aren’t we?”

“That plant looks like Itsuki,” Kaede sighed. “Oh why did she leave me for that Russian fiend?”

“You are acting suspicious,” Yumemi noted, narrowing her eyes at the werewolf.

“Is something else wrong, Ikishina? Are you alright?” Saori asked worriedly.

Mary rolled her eyes as she took Ririka’s drink.

“I don’t see the problem. What, is it illegal to drink your partner’s drink? Don’t you know food tastes better when it belongs to other people? Don’t fuck with us!”

And with that, she downed the drink in one gulp.

At the same time, Sayaka also ignored Midari after hearing Mary’s comment and also downed the drink in one mouthful.

“What the hell! Why would you two——” Midari shouted.

“Hey, I feel a little strange,” Mary said, gasping as her voice turned high-pitched at the last word of her sentence.

Sayaka nodded in agreement. “It feels… ab…abnor…” She frowned. “I can’t piece the word together, which is strange considering that it is an extremely easy word to say——” She let out a squeak as she began to shrink, her clothes shrinking with her.

Mary cursed as the same thing happened to her.

“What the—that’s not supposed to…” Midari mumbled.

With a “poof!” and a cloud of mist, Mary and Sayaka had transformed into toddlers.

Everyone else turned to look at Midari, who could only think of two words.

“Oh fuck.”

[askfanandtesttube]

do you guys fw trophy

Hey! It’s Fan! He was very competitive on Fan’s Fantastic Features, but his attitude towards Box was a little harsh, if I say so myself. Me and Test Tube don’t really hang out or interact with him much, but sometimes we do see him around! He takes great pictures, and I’m being honest! Hope that answered your question!

- Fan! 🪭