#test muse: sephiroth
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𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐌𝐮𝐬𝐞 ⎯⎯⎯
Baby Seph is now a test muse. (By baby, I mean he's roughly 19-22 age range. No exceptions) I'll be selective with him because I'm not planning on any long-term threads. You can send asks for him & we'll see where it goes. Asks can eventually turn into long-term threads or they can be short interactions. I can't promise a quality Sephiroth because I'm still trying to get a feel for his character. He can take place during any timeline & interact with other Sephs. Here's a new little brother for you. 💚
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Sephiroth leans against Rufus, finding a bit of solace in their closeness. "Eat where?" they ask, a smile creeping onto their face despite their efforts to conceal it. Being with the Shinra heir brought a rare sense of normalcy to Sephiroth's otherwise complicated life. Complicated being an understatement.
"You're not driving, are you?"
@geraniumplant -- the lights we chase, the nights we steal--
rufus hums, shifting to lean against sephiroth while scrolling through his phone. it's the closest to affection rufus is willing to be with anyone -- they had the down time, they may as well relax and enjoy it.
"do you want to go get something to eat?"
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What do you think was sephiroth's first word?
It happened during one of those early examinations, when needles pierced his thirteen-month-old body, right before they became routine, when the team of scientists and Hojo who encircled him were still testing out the waters to see what he could take. Needles protruded from his small arms, legs, and back, linked to blinking monitors. They hurt a great deal, and Hojo could’ve seen the tears coming from a mile away, meeting their arrival with a roll of his eyes while sephiroth’s own became pooled with tears, tiny hands feasibly trying to grasp at the needles, being restrained by one of the scientists. His lip quivered, tears streaming down his plump, reddened cheeks as he let out a terrified “Ma!”
Hojo was simultaneously stunned and annoyed. Months of anticipation for Sephiroth's first word, and it was this? As the sniffles and cries began, Hojo halted the procedure. Needles were removed, wounds tended to, with Hojo himself completing the final adjustments.
He lifted the sobbing child from the surgical table, where Sephiroth's tears ceased upon meeting Hojo's gaze, green-blue eyes filled with fear. Hojo regarded the child—his creation—his son—(he still couldn’t figure out what to refer to it as) with disgust and rage. ‘She would have adored this,’ he mused silently, imagining Lucrecia's overly affectionate reactions, utterly impractical in raising a perfect specimen who did not need maternal influence.
"Not Ma," Hojo corrected, holding Sephiroth firmly. "Mother. Her name was Lucrecia."
Sephiroth squirmed, emitting small noises, but Hojo maintained his grip. A bitter taste lingered in Hojo's mouth as he wrapped a bony hand over the bandaged marks on Sephiroth's back, contemplating the name. ‘Lucrecia’ didn't seem right. He would need to change that soon.
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໒⦂ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐋𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐌𝐘.
synopsis. in order to meet their graduation requirements, cloud decides to take his arts and humanities course early to share a class with sephiroth, but there are unexpected consequences.
genre. fluff + hurt / comfort
tw. suggestive language, mentioned vomiting ( the act itself doesn't happen dw guys )
inspiration. this artwork! && this one!
sephiroth x cloud strife.
a gentle breeze caressed cloud's cheeks, painting a tiny smile on his lips as he moved closer to the tall male beside him- who seemed to be engaged with the flurry of autumn leaves that caught his silver tresses.
it almost made him laugh, watching as his usually composed and ever graceful boyfriend struggled against something so menial, reminiscent a cat swatting helplessly at a fly.
compelled to assist in some way, partly because he didn't want to display the extent of his current amusement, the blond got on the tips of his toes, prying the leather clad hand away to replace it with his own. "hold still, lemme get it."
a brow quirked before sephiroth gave a slow blink, gradually lowering his hand along with himself for his lover to reach. "i apologize, i hadn't expect it to be this windy today." he sighed out, watching as calloused, yet nimble fingers detangled the crinkling intruders from the delicate mercury that was his hair, smiling exasperatedly. "perhaps i should have tied it before we left this morning." it likely would have saved trouble like this, but little time remained when it boiled down to catching the right train.
the spiky haired male gave a small hum, finally detaching the remaining leaf. "last i checked, today marks the start of autumn," he commented cooly, holding out the physical evidence of his statement. "pretty sure i warned somebody last night that because of that, the weather would be way more intense this week. but i see that information totally sank in real well."
plucking the fallen maple from his fingers, sephiroth wiggled it teasingly before the other's nose, chuckling at the way his features scrunched together, "i suppose. but you also chose to relay that information at the pinnacle of my exhaustion, cloud. all i could think of at that point was holding you close as i rewarded myself with much needed rest after that tedious thesis." while his third year thankfully consisted of less tests and homework, unfortunately that did not discourage professors from throwing an abundance of research-oriented assignments at him. such was the beauty of university.
cloud turned his nose, rolling his eyes. “uh huh, very cheesy excuse, but i remember you being perfectly awake, kissing my neck, even.” the second year grumbled back, pushing the hand away from his face before trekking onwards with a huff. if his lover wanted to be difficult, then so could he, and tenfold!
the man in question couldn’t help but break into a more prominent grin at the act, however, catching up with relative ease and little speed, given his longer legs. “i recall you enjoying it though, did you not?" he mused, tucking a strand of gold behind the other's ear. "this spot here in particular was something you had asked me to kiss, if my memory serves me corre-”
“a-alright already, you made your point!” the second year intercepted, rouge gathering at the tips of his ears and cheeks. “i still warned you though, so you’re just gonna have to deal with it unless you brought a hair tie with you.” he finished in a grumble, sending his partner an annoyed glance that quickly contorted into a blink.
for in between his lithe, gloved fingers had been a black, satin ribbon.
not a hair tie, then.. but an alternative.
a sheen of innocence overtook sephiroth’s countenance. “will this do in its stead, cloud?”
with a twitching brow, the second year shoved down the words he truly wished to convey and allowed a sigh to take their place. “sure, in the seventeenth century.” he muttered, taking the accessory from his grasp before motioning him towards a park bench.
at last, mischief revealed itself through a smirk as the astronomy major took a seat, humming lowly. “such a good student, applying what we learnt from last week’s session.”
“says the guy who brought the ribbon instead of one of the million hair ties he owns.” cloud fired back, gathering the river of moonlight into one palm before sliding the thin, shiny piece underneath.
eventually when it emerged on the other side, the blond grabbed both ends of the satin to tie a knot as tightly as he could manage, looping them into rabbit ears while the excess length fell on either side of the ponytail.
it wasn’t low, but not at the top of his head either. just a little above the middle.
when the bearer of the hairstyle turned around to face him, it became increasingly difficult not to blush. his lips stretched. “by your expression, i believe there was worth after all in keeping you on your toes with something out of the ordinary.” he answered silkily, rising from his place before offering his hand. “shall we, cloud?”
an incoherent profanity left the male in question, but he slipped his fingers between the gaps of sephiroth’s, anyhow. it was near impossible to say no to physical touch, after all. no matter how reluctant he made himself out to be.
the silver haired third year was perfectly aware of that, yet he continued to put out regardless, knowing cloud could never truly resist.

upon their arrival, thankfully not being the last to turn up despite some delaying factors, the tour could at last commence.
cloud lagged behind the group with sephiroth, listening idly to what the historian had to say regarding each piece they came across. it felt little to no different from an average lecture in their art history course, but the in-person experience made it a bit more interesting.
sadly it held minimal relevance to their majors, being stems in mechanical engineering and astronomy, but graduation requirements were graduation requirements.
“-and this painting here is said to represent the lifestream! a pool of glittering jade carrying the memories of the planet and of those that have returned to it.” the tour guide spoke, gesturing behind them to the canvas before turning back to face the group. “unfortunately, due to a lack of information, we can only assume this is how it looks, as nobody has ever quite returned to say.. although,” they paused, stepping forward. “there were two exceptions who were highly linked to the great calamity that once befell our lovely planet. one had been its heir, fated to sail the darkness of the cosmos with gaia as his vessel, while the other had been the hero that prevented such events. both, however, carried the cells of this threat, which in turn, enabled the lifestream to reject them from ever resting peacefully..”
“rumor has it that with each rejection of the planet, they become reincarnated..” the historian finished lowly, an echo of awed noises filling the eerie quiet that followed.
meanwhile cloud found himself raising a blond, skeptical brow. “rejected.. from the lifestream?” he repeated in a mumble, folding his arms. “first i’m hearing of this.” how could someone no longer be of the planet? it was completely unrealistic. “probably just a myth, right sephiroth?”
silence.
“sephiroth?” he tried again, peering up to see if his lover was paying attention, only to have found him.. clutching the side of his head, as though in agony.
concerned, cloud placed a hand on his back, knitting his brows together. “hey- you okay?” he called out softly, drowning out the distant rambling to properly address the other. “i didn’t tie the ribbon too tight, did i?” a poor attempt at lightening the sphere, though sadly ineffective, as the fifth semester did not quite lower his hand or laugh.
instead, he shut his eyes, shaking his head slowly. “i’m fine.. must be a dizzy spell of some sorts.” if it could even be called that.
a frown overtook the blond’s lips as he lowered his hand into his free one, tugging him along. “let’s.. sit down for a bit, we can join up with the group later.” he offered, letting out a meek laugh.. “good thing you packed us water and lunch from the night before, right?”
sephiroth willed himself to nod after being brought to a bench — which was too low for comfort, but tolerable. “everything is in my bag, but it’s okay, i can manage. you should catch up to the group so at least one of us is informed..” not that they would be tested on the tour, but it saved study time.
cloud wasn’t buying it one bit, though. “not happening.” as if he would bail on his partner to suffer in silence and discomfort. “i’m not leaving you here for something stupid to happen while i’m gone.” he grumbled back, fishing out what appeared to be a thermos.. and container of strawberries. “so here. eat a little and have some water. hydration is good to combat dizziness.”
the older blinked once, then twice before letting out a noise of amusement. “you worry far too much, cloud.” he answered tenderly, but took the offered snack and beverage anyway, unscrewing the metal cap. “it is rather touching though, seeing you care so much for me.” he smiled tiredly, taking a sip before leaning his head atop the nest of fluffy spikes.
for once, the sapphire eyed male allowed the weight without complaint, only letting out a soft huff. "try not playing off your suffering and i'll worry less." he snarked back, though the usual bite was not quite present as he shifted closer, leaning his own head against the curve of sephiroth's shoulder. "seriously, though, if you're not okay, of course i'm gonna stay with you."
a sigh tumbled past sephiroth's lips, though he couldn't help the warmth he felt at cloud's sincerity. "i appreciate it, but in that case.. we should not remain too long and at least attend some of the tour." he urged, shutting his slitted jade orbs before refocusing them on the canvas before them.
it wasn't anything out of the ordinary, it appeared to be a forest amidst a great storm by the darker shades and lines to indicate the rain. underneath was the artist's name, written in wutaian, which gave a general idea of what the painting might have been depicting.
cloud followed his line of vision, observing how intently his boyfriend gazed upon it, almost as though he could set the artwork ablaze with his mind alone.
it was.. worrying.
"well, when you're ready, we can get going." he suggested quietly, nudging his arm in hopes of swaying his attention. "think the next room has sculptures and displays. should be a change of pace, yeah?”
ignoring the sharpness in his temples, the taller allowed himself to nod, if only to lower his head from the image before him.
just what in gaia’s name was going on? he felt perfectly fine when they left the apartment early that morning; the train ride was decent for a change — well.. outside of cloud’s motion sickness, though sephiroth welcomed the head that landed on his lap.
so then, what went wrong? or better yet, what triggered these headaches?
at his silence, the spiky haired male opted to help with cleaning up the untouched strawberries and thermos, frowning a little to himself. there was still an entire day’s worth of a tour left to go.. would sephiroth, be okay enough to handle that?
after zipping his backpack, he shook his head. his boyfriend would be okay, he had to trust that he would be.
with that in mind, cloud rose from his seat, extending his hand. “ready?”
sephiroth lowered the leather clad palm grasping his forehead, easing it into the one offered before him as he let out a quiet hum of agreement.
not long after had the group reappeared in sight, the trail of historic rambles leading the pair to exactly where they needed to be.
throughout the walk, cloud made sure to remain close in case of anything, keeping their hands intertwined for a change ( he wasn't exactly one for pda ), though he couldn't help but glance up every now and again in worry.
if sephiroth was still not doing so hot, he hid it annoyingly well.
when their steps came to a halt behind the group, the blond tried to weave between the taller figures obscuring his view of the display, mentally cursing his lack of height. there should be an unspoken rule of going to the back of a crowd if you had a few more inches on you. alas, it was but wishful thinking.
"this here is the uniform of a first class SOLIDER! founded deep within the underground levels of the old shinra ruins. looking at it now.. it doesn't look like your typically soldier outfit, now does it?" the guide chuckled, scratching their nape. "maybe during their golden days, the uniform might have served a greater purpose.. but now, it's nothing more than outdated fashion."
the taller spared his beloved a small glance, raising a curious brow at his poor attempts at rubbernecking before allowing his lips to break into a tiny smile. "are you perhaps in need of a boost, cloud dearest?"
"fuck no." was the latter's immediate answer, still grunting through his little hops and neck craning. "i can see just.. fine-!" he could not, but sephiroth didn't need to know that.
only, he did. however, cloud.. was a frequent passenger of the denial train. he might as well have permanent first class and a special badge to pair with it. the sight was anything but foreign to sephiroth, but he couldn't complain. it was always entertaining to see him try to refute the truth, flushing a bright pink that complimented his features so sweetly as he helplessly attempts to reject defeat.
normally he would give the blond a few minutes to try things his way, savoring the spectacle before him that he would definitely commit to memory for future use, and would then lend his assistance. although the lightheadedness just.. wasn't quite allowing that out of him today.
"suit yourself~" he mused instead, wincing a little at the lingering pang at the back of his skull, but he held firm. the trip would be over soon and they could return to the comfort of their shared apartment.
at last when cloud stopped his futile efforts at peering over the students before him, the chaperone ushered the crowd over to the next display a few paces down the corridor.
a symphony of profanity rested within the confines of his throat, itching to be expressed, but he reminded himself that there were children and elderly around. that and, he didn't want to get his participation grade tanked for obscenities.
"ah, it seems the display is now within your view."
"shut up." the shorter grumbled, wordlessly reclaiming sephiroth's hand as he tugged him toward the mannequin encased in glass.
and it was.. an odd uniform, indeed. a sleeveless turtleneck, shoulder armor, suspenders, a.. was that a corset?
cloud grimaced at the idea of wearing such an outfit. it looked highly uncomfortable to be wearing for combat; well, at least the top half did. the pants and boots appeared quite mobile. breathable too. maybe if it was reduced to one pauldron-
"ex-SOLDIER. i quit."
the slightest hue of seafoam flickered in the otherwise sapphire pools that were his eyes, blond brows furrowing together the longer he stared. what.. was that voice? and why did it.. "why did it sound like me?"
he willed his gaze to fall elsewhere, anything that would prevent that strange crawl he was beginning to feel up his skin, settling his vision on what appeared to be two blades.
broadswords, to be precise.
sephiroth followed his line of view when his focus seemed to have diverted elsewhere, humming quietly. "those were said to be of the unnamed hero of the planet." he spoke up softly, lingering on the sword that looked to be made up of.. multiple swords? it reminded him of a puzzle, or perhaps even those bricks children often played with; legos, were they? that sounded like the name.
"hero.." cloud repeated numbly, the word sitting like poison on his tongue. it nauseated him, somehow, shrouded him with a wave of sickness that made him wish to pour out last night's dinner and the light breakfast from earlier this morning.
without thinking, he staggered forward, hand slipping free from the leather that encased it as he stopped before the case.
flashes of memories that did not belong yet belonged all at the same time scintillated his vision, as he closed in on the barrier separating him from the unnamed warrior's weapons.
"that's right.. i am your living legacy."
daringly, the palm that previously held his partner's rose to meet the surface, a flicker of jade appearing in the shimmering blade before he was suddenly pulled back a few steps. as though being hoisted out of a deep, raging sea that was ever still and silent beneath the tempest above. and now brought back to the land above, grounded by the firm, yet cushioning chest that collided with his back.
sephiroth.
"cloud, the sign says not to touch the glass.." the male in question muttered warningly, frowning slightly at the quiet that met them once more, excluding several murmurs from any onlookers. "the group seems to have strayed off toward another direction.. it would be wise to catch up with them if we're to actually learn something from this expedition." he added softly, loosening his grasp so the blond didn't feel constricted in any way.
looking at him, something seemed.. off. definitely different from how he appeared before the crowd cleared and gave way for him to view that SOLDIER uniform.
then again, sephiroth wasn't fairing the best either. maybe they had both eaten something off? or caught an infamous case found only through midterms-
"do not be deceived."
as though reawakened, the piercing sensation from before returned to assault his skull, pulsing in the way that tremors did when threatening to split open the terrain above.
"you know the truth."
taking a step back, the taller let out a strained exhale, releasing the other in the process to clutch his forehead as he had earlier.
something was terribly off.
"you feel it, too?" he asked despite the discomfort, shaking his head. "don't you.. cloud?"
finally snapped from his trance upon hearing his name, the spiky haired second year looked up with eyes that were half lidded, widening gradually at the state he had found his beloved in.
how did he.. when did he?
"i.." cloud paused, heart practically lodged in his throat by not only the sight that beheld him, but the very occurrence.
did he feel it, whatever that was, as well?
with half a mind left, the shorter fought back the dizziness that was beginning to envelop him alongside the nausea, reaching out for the hand that drew away earlier from him to lead them both out of the room, if only to evade the shit show that was bound to unfold at any given moment. "i don't know- but we should leave this room.. c'mon." he urged, mustering the strength to tug sephiroth along with him.
where to, he did not quite know as yet, but anywhere excluding their current location would be much preferable.
sapphire flitted from hall to hall in search, eventually settling upon the one where the least amount of people had been heading towards.
wordlessly, he led his lover down the corridor and into the showroom, nearly heaving out in relief at the lack of onlookers. good. while they weren't alone, which would have been more ideal, this crowd was manageable.
throughout the walk, sephiroth hung his head low, propping it up by his hand while the other had been tugged along by cloud's.
unfortunately, the pain simply did not wish to let up. earlier it had subdued a pinch, to a degree where he was able to interact and move about. now, however, everything seemed to feel both out of touch to him, and impossibly more agonizing than before.
hell, he hadn't even noticed, let alone acknowledged the fact that he was in a new area of the museum. it may very well have been like any other room had been; indistinguishable.
"good, another bench.." cloud sighed out, sitting the third year down before taking up the space beside him.
the queasiness was still clawing at his gut, threatening to leave him hunched over a nearby restroom, tossing his cookies out, but he held firm. there was still an excursion to be had; as for sephiroth..
the ocean eyed male stole a glance from the man in question, frowning at the deja vu that washed over him. they were basically in the same position as before, only worse.
where did the unease really begin?
the painting of the lifestream was where it began for sephiroth, and for him.. it was when he saw those two swords on display.
what did they mean? what did any of this mean?
as he peeled his eyes away from his lover, cloud hung his head low, a million different thoughts swarming his brain, which all but paused at the loud click that went off a few paces away. a camera, more than likely.
he prayed it wasn't a photo of him and sephiroth- which thankfully, by the looks of where the person stood and where the lens had been aimed, was not. but it was of a.. rather intriguing sight.
when his eyes rose from the photographer to look up at what he had been capturing, it all but stole what little air resided within his chest.
"is this the pain you felt before.. cloud?"
and filled that space with something cold- something sharp that was there, but was not all at the same time. a phantom blade, slotted into the depths of his hollowed sternum, mirroring the sight that currently beheld him.
"let me remind you.."
sculpted of the finest marble, stood a statue of two figures that were horrifyingly beautiful enough to solely be found in myths and folklore. hovering above was a long haired, winged one, and below, tipped back, was a spiky haired one, who was notably being speared by the odachi within the other's hand.
"this time you won't forget."
the more he stared, the realer the image became; instilling itself within the very depths of his mind, solidifying it, materializing into the reality that had been seated at his side, now holding his gaze.
no longer had a leather clad palm cradled his head, and the hand that rested within his seemed to tighten as slitted jades bore into his teal ringed sapphires. an unspoken dawning- an epiphany come true.
"it's.." no, it couldn't be. what were the odds of the rumored exceptions being them? it was nothing but folklore, outdated history that no longer held up credibility, let alone names and explicit figures to define the gossip. cloud refused to believe any of it.
and yet.. "it is, cloud." sephiroth chimed in, leaning in closer. "our former selves, from a life so distant ago now."
a life where they..
the blond shook his head, pursing his lips together. "exactly that- former. so it's.. it's not us anymore, sephiroth." he tried reasoning, squeezing his hand back. "we don't have to do that again- not in this life.. this is ours to have. we.." he paused, azure hues glinting. "we deserve it- after everything."
silence befell the silver haired male before he let out a low chuckle. "do you believe the planet will allow that, cloud?" he questioned softly, glancing toward the sculpture for a moment and then back to him. "would it truly be so generous to us?"
would it be? after being doomed to a life where they would jump endlessly between the cycle of death and rebirth? it was hardly generosity.
it was cruel in every way possible, but..
"it's gonna have to be." cloud affirmed, taking a breath before dispelling it. "the cycle of unrest ends with us. i might have denied you in the past, but this time.. things will be different." he continued steadily, bringing his free hand up to hold the back of the other’s head. "we'll.. get to have our happy ending." the one they’d been waiting for.
sephiroth was still for a moment, taking in his lover's sincerity — the twinkle of truth in his ocean pools as his palm warmed the coldness of his cheek.
once upon a time ago, they may not have held hands as they do so casually now. once upon a time ago, these fleeting touches might not at all have been welcomed, only harmful ones.
in this day and age, however, born into a life in which one accepted the other.. there had been opportunity for the path that could not have been taken back then.
a path sephiroth never thought he’d ever see come to fruition. "mm.. perhaps we will, then, if that is what you believe, cloud." he answered softly, placing a hand over the one that cradled his cheek before pressing a kiss against it. "for the moment, however,” he smiled, the usual lilt returning to his voice. “i believe we still have an excursion on our hands, no?"
notes. oh it feels so good to write after being cockblocked by midterms. anyway, i offer you sefikura food that nobody asked for.. i was very inspired by some fanart for this and uh, being in uni lol. hope it was good! i will be uploading sfkr works to ao3 alongside tumblr now, so you can read there instead under the same user ( silverflqmes ) 🫶 ALSO LISTEN TO THE ALCHEMY!
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#— ; 🏹 ) final fantasy vii fics.#sefikura#sefikura writing#sephiroth x cloud strife#sephicloud#sephikura#sephiroth#cloud strife#sephiroth x cloud#ff7#ffvii#final fantasy vii#final fantasy 7#ffvii sephiroth#cloud ffvii#modern au#reincarnation au#university au
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Yandere Dissidia Sephiroth Musings
Sephiroth's tendency to treat living beings as objects doesn't stop at his puppets. It also extends to his darling, his precious doll, but in different ways...
༻❁༺ Assuring that darling's body is immaculate, ripe for Mother's taking whenever the time comes. Even in her own fights, he wouldn't let her body touch the ground. She must be pristine at all times.
༻❁༺ Emotionally isolating her so that he becomes the sole source of validation she subconsciously craves. He doesn't like to share his toys. It also ensures she's focused on her goal of collecting energy for him and JENOVA.
༻❁༺ Masquerading as her jaded but well-meaning mentor while slyly stroking her resentment and scorn towards everything else to secure her loyalty.
༻❁༺ He's touch-starved, but yet, he wouldn't even kiss his doll. That's for the reunion later, when they both ascend to godhood.
༻❁༺ His cool and collected composure has never been tested like it is with his doll; whether it's because of her stubbornness or the intoxicating scent of JENOVA that she sometimes exudes, he can never get enough of her.
༻❁༺ But what gets him to break that composure and go almost feral is witnessing her growing strength and occasionally catching glimpses of an ominous, faint pink glow in her eyes. These are strong signs that the reunion is progressing far. And he's hell-bent on making it happen as soon as possible.
༻❁༺ She's never getting her lost memories back. She doesn't need them when she has him. Her one and only friend, mentor, soulmate... Whatever role she needed to fill that empty void in her heart, he can play it for her. He is her everything.
#ff7 sephiroth#final fantasy 7#crisis cutie#ff7#final fantasy dissidia#yandere#yandere sephiroth#doll darling#tw: yandere#yandere headcanons#one winged masquerade au#yandere x reader#yandere x darling#yandere x you#yandere x y/n#fem reader#female reader#final fantasy dissidia opera omnia#Jenova#tw: emotional abuse#tw: emotional manipulation
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9.01.24: WA: Issue 3
As summer is slowly drawing to a close and my daughter is going to be heading back to school, I sat down to work more on this unnamed WIP. My last update I mused on the fact that the summer was going to be busy. It was.
Since 2000, I have managed to avoid contracting COVID. This was on the advice of my doctor: get the vaccine and limit my contact with people since I was consider high risk. That's a club I didn't want to be apart of.
Well, starting the 13th, I started to feel ill. It was almost immediately after we saw Deadpool & Wolverine at the drive-in. Everyone my husband worked with was starting to test positive for COVID, including us. I'm fine now. Just a cough remains.
Author’s commentary
I have more of an idea where this short story is going to go. I still don't know what to title it. Since it's Bianca's first encounter with an actual demon, the title may have something to do with that. I guess I will decide on that when I get to it.
As I write this, I keep thinking back on an RP that I have participated in with my husband. It was set before Sephiroth went to Nibelheim. Having a character who can control time and space is an interesting concept, since it opens up infinite storylines with Bianca. In this RP, Sephiroth asks her, 'why she can't trust anyone?' Well, Bianca's answer is that she was always hunted by a cult, but her first crush betrayed her horribly.
And this is where the character of Krista was thought up. Krista was always meant to represent Bianca's loss of innocence. I always liked this concept in the 'It' novel, but I didn't like the way Stephen King went about actually executing it in the novel. Bianca's loss of innocence will happen due to her having to murder someone in self-defense.
Snippet:
As always, this is my trash draft. There will be grammar issues and sometimes incorrect grammar. It is unpolished.
“Help!” A piercing scream interrupted her thoughts.
Bianca’s hand hovered over the Charleston Chews that were David’s favorite before she wrenched her hand away and whorled around in the direction of the sound.
An acrid scent of brimstone saturated the store, as if the store had been caught in the middle of a volcanic eruption, but that was impossible in the middle of Alaska. The worst that could happen was that she became lost in Anchorage’s mudflats due to tidal changes and glacial silt.
For a moment, Bianca thought of just exiting the store. After all, she was only a teenager: a young adult almost in the prime of her life. What could she do to help someone? David would be a better candidate. In the end, her own determination won out. This woman needed help now. The other woman couldn’t wait for her to go get her father. She had to swallow her fear and press on. Who would have thought? A waif like her playing hero?
#writing accountability#wa: fwc#wa: fwc: original#writeblr#writeblr original#snippet: fwc#snippet: fwc: original#tw: illness#bardic tales#bardic-tales#passion project: fantasy worlds collide
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OPEN RP | Muse: Sephiroth | v: Wutai War
How many more needed to be slaughtered? He often did question this to the likes of Heidegger and above, but all the answers came back the same; 'Do as you are told. Never bite the hand that feeds' was the general outcome of it. Sometimes, for if he left any survivors, after what must be some form of guilty conscious,(a weakness in their eyes, and something he was still conflicted over) he would be reprimanded to a severe degree. Stuck in training sessions with grueling hours, and hardly any meals to come before and after. That was the lighter punishment, of course.
The cruelest of ones came from when they ordered him to report to Professor Hojo. This was a monster of a man that he loathed the most, and to be subjected to more and more testing, or experiments. Those were the nights he wished he could be anywhere else, and it was a false kind of freedom to be about in the field of battle, or a mission.
As of now, he was in his private quarters, thinking over the day's work, and of how much trouble he was going to be in from disobeying another rule of theirs. It truly was never like him to be this way, but more and more rules had been implemented as he had grown stronger, through the years since the beginning of this war. Sephiroth glared at the empty white walls, bored out of his mind, awaiting his inevitable doom.
#ffvii rp#final fantasy vii rp#final fantasy rp#ffviir rp#sephiroth rp#OPEN RP#rp#starter#c: sephiroth#v: wutai war
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Because literally nobody asked at all, here are some scent-related idle musings that may or may not qualify as headcanons:
Sephiroth doesn't wear fragrances per se, but there's a reason he uses thirteen out of the fourteen different scent options of his favorite line of shampoos, and the reason is the fourteenth one makes him sneeze all day even if he likes how it smells.
Genesis is rather picky about apple notes, so he actually doesn't wear many fragrances that include them. But when he finds one that works for him, he sticks with it. Apart from that, he has very broad tastes. Sometimes he puts on the rawest, dirtiest, most polarizing thing he can find, but sometimes he smells like the color pink.
Angeal would like to content himself with rubbing fresh herbs on his wrists and neck for special occasions, but he gets Genesis' point about how quickly the scent fades (plus he doesn't like hurting his babies except to eat them), so he accepts occasional gifts of fragrance with grace. Please don't tell him how much it cost.
Zack's first and last adventure with fragrances involved him spraying exactly one cologne perfume onto a test strip, smelling it, and saying out loud in the middle of a crowded, very fancy department store, "It smells like ass but in a good way?" in complete bewilderment.
Kunsel occasionally dabbles in samples of extremely niche and conceptual stuff, the weirder the better. One day, he gets forcibly sent through the hazmat decon booth for smelling, literally rather than figuratively, like the moon.
Lazard prefers discreet scents that only reveal themselves to him and to those who get up close and personal. His secretary, who has a lot of allergies, appreciates this very much.
Aerith doesn't need a product to smell like flowers. (Or dirt!) She does like nice soap, though, and when she has a chance to splurge, she goes for green or marine scents. Sea salt soap is so exotic to her! Does the ocean really smell like that?
Tifa dreams of having nice perfumes and fancy soap but the only thing available in Nibelheim is a tiny selection of trashy stuff at a huge import markup. Yuck! When she does get her hands on the goods, she is baffled to find that what she thought she'd like (airy flowers and tropical fruits) is not at all what she actually likes (dark leather and darker booze).
Cloud is—say it with him, folks!—not interested.
#NOBODY ASKED BUT#headcanon#not a shitpost for once#genesis rhapsodos#angeal hewley#sephiroth#zack fair#kunsel#lazard deusericus#aerith gainsborough#tifa lockhart#cloud strife#crisis core#final fantasy vii
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Seph gently approaches the couch & settles down next to Genesis, a playful smile forming on his cat-like features. He’s concealing a little surprise behind his back, something he believes will make Genesis happy. "How are you doing?" the nineteen-year-old inquires with a warm, caring tone, as he reveals his gift—a shiny new can of soda, a treat that Hojo always keeps away from them.
@geraniumplant
Genesis has been oddly keeping to himself over the past few weeks. Ever since the accident in the VR room, he seems to be different. While the wound is under control at the moment, he can still feel the effects of it. His body aches, he's clumsier than usual, it feels like he has a cold that won't leave him. There's that…among other things. He has been very pointedly avoiding Sephiroth in the meantime, yet it seems fate would have other plans in mind.
He was curled up on the couch, head in his hands, half asleep. That's when he feels a weight sit down near him. Genesis jumps slightly, then glances up, frowning. “..Seph,” he mutters, letting out a breath. “I'm fine. If you're wondering.” A question that hadn't been asked, but Genesis knows Sephiroth well enough by now that it didn't need to be. “I was just going to lie down. I'm a bit tired.”
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Starter call for my Test Muses. Reminder that I have no bios for these yet as I'm testing them out. The following are my current test muses: Asmodeus, Zestial, Chazwick, Millie, Vox and HH versions of Sephiroth (FF7) and Tatsuya Sudou (Persona 2).
Like for a starter.
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The Menace stands before the boy, his head tilted curiously to the side; was this how he had begun? He hardly recalled it, and yet seeing him brought a sting of regret. Once upon a time...
"Hello," he greets. [ jenovaroth! decided to pester the lil sephiroth. ]
He gazes in wonder at the unusual figure before him. It feels as if he’s peering into a mirror—those same piercing eyes, hair as white as snow. There is a haunting familiarity in the contours of this stranger’s features, yet the marks of age are undeniable. Time has added a few years to this new entity & it seems that those years have not been kind.
Seph tilts his head slightly as he approaches the stranger, overwhelmed by a deep sense of empathy for them. Maybe they’re not such a stranger after all. The way they stand, shoulders hunched & eyes cast downward at his slightly shorter figure, resonates with a familiar ache that tugs at Seph's heart. He can see the shadows of their struggles reflected in their expression, a silent story etched into the lines of their face.
"Hello."
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And for the very first time, there was an approving glint in Sephiroth’s eyes as Genesis flashed him that confident smirk.
Subtle though it may have been, if not invisible to those not sufficiently well-versed in deciphering his expressions, that gaze was a silent encouragement for Genesis to earn the prize he had set his eyes upon.
To any observer, it would appear as though Sephiroth had stayed behind in the ruins of Banora as the portal closed and vanished. But unbeknownst to Genesis, his will and influence were no longer shackled to a single physical vessel. Instead, whenever he desired so, he could be present in several locations and timelines at once, including the singularity beyond the threshold.
And from the shadows, he watched the battle about to unfold.
True to his words, Genesis was significantly more powerful than he had been in the past, and though Sephiroth had not doubted the veracity of his claims, that for Genesis, two millennia had passed since their exchange in Nibelheim, Genesis’ tremendous growth nevertheless exceeded his expectations.
The true test Sephiroth had designed for his former friend, however, was of a different nature.
Attracted by the clamors of steel, more Whispers—some of them identical to the one Genesis was fighting, others more powerful, more ancient—flocked to the site where yet another fracture was being torn into the fabric of fate and formed a circle around the two combatants.
Their mere presence was a solemn warning: Should Genesis continue his acts of aggression, continue to defy fate, they would regard him as an enemy, an anomaly to be eliminated as opposed to the Planet’s Chosen.
‘Now, what will it be, Genesis?’ Sephiroth mused to himself with detached amusement.

Once again Genesis hardly flinched as the blade came up to his throat, only taking in a slow breath. When one had faced death so many times, another brush with it seemed inconsequential, even if Sephiroth had the power to end his existence permanently.
The only acknowledgement he gave was a simple nod to Sephiroth's words before he felt himself being shoved towards the portal, its pull sucking him in. And he did turn back midair to flash a small smirk before he was fully sucked into the vortex.
The next moment, Genesis found himself freefalling in an area that looked a lot like ruined buildings, with swirling clouds and bolts of violet lightning striking this way and that. Flying rocks and debris were caught up in the overarching maelstrom. A pair of golden-sheened raven wings sprouted from his back as he rode an updraft through several floating pillars, turning sharply to avoid a piece of flying girder and eventually spotting a flat platform to land on.
Touching down with incredibly practiced grace, the wind whipped up his long auburn hair as the clouds churned and boiled above, more striking lightning preceding the appearance of a being that looked very similar to Whisper Viridi, except glowing purple and with many more arms.
"A Whisper... I've heard of these..."
Blade summoned, he looked up towards the approaching Whisper, its arms extended as it unleashed an ear-splitting shriek before rushing right at him. Genesis met the first swinging blade-arm with a swift parry, launching himself upward to avoid another and throwing a series of fireballs at the creature, flipping in the air as he was once again airborne.
"So... this is my challenge? Very well then. En garde!"
#Gods and Pawns#poeticphoenix#muse: Sephiroth#IC#asfkasfl after an eternity and a half T_T#Sephiroth was judging me so badly by the end#glaring daggers into the back of my head whenever yet another day had passed without me able to finish & post this one rip#(like suuuuure you go watch your bf fight now Sephiroth... you deserve it)
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sender spits out a mouthful of blood at receiver's feet. for barnabas or sleipnir.
Blood blood blood! || Accepting
Sleipnir doesn't even flinch, an eyebrow raising as they look Sephiroth up and down. "Hm, interesting. So you can bleed, just like the rest." As they say this, they approach Sephiroth from where he is down on one knee, grabbing his chin and forcing it up rather roughly. "If you are to be successful, then you need to keep going, even when you feel as if you are too beat down to continue. Understand?"
They release him, pushing him back and taking their sword out once again. Sleipnir had strict orders from Barnabas to push Sephiroth to his limits, to see how much he could possibly take in one go. What is a weapon if we cannot test it? Barnabas had mused, which Sleipnir completely understands. "If you wish to survive Bahamut, then we must keep at it. Get up."
Their voice is sharp, getting back into a defensive stance as they stare at him expectantly. "Well? Come now. The quicker you get on your feet, the sooner we can get this over with."
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[From here for no other reason than the muse pointed tonight and I had the energy.]
@cinderella-gurei:
Sephiroth always, always delivered the gentlest words to Chadley. And though of course Chadley was appreciative of them, he always expected Sephiroth to give himself the same grace,… but that grace never arrived. Instead, it seemed the man did not see what Chadley saw in him.
Though Chadley himself felt like a broken thing rather than any good like the man had already voiced to him, he saw Sephiroth as both a good and whole thing – he was what he would like to grow up to be, for better or worse.
Even now, the other man was able to give him solace when he thought himself useless. His materia research had no progress today, the updates he had tried applying to new test subjects were failing – everything had been failing, as of late – but he could still be a good thing… So, hopeful, he glanced over to the man that brought him sunshine on his rainy day.
“You’ve shown me we can be both… But you still don’t seem happy with yourself. Is there something I am missing? Is it that you cannot see it?”
He couldn’t maintain eye contact with that curious gaze for long, his own sliding down and away after a couple of seconds. Chadley was thinking on something, that much was clear, and it wasn’t that he dreaded a response...
Maybe he dreaded his own reaction to whatever might be said. Ridiculous. Cowardly? The idea almost made him laugh, but his entire thought process was upended by the kind of soft optimism that Sephiroth himself had seen destroyed in would-be hopefuls. Annihilated in cadets that didn’t return the same, sometimes not at all--
Huffing out a breath, eye contact remained a little fleeting, not entirely direct. The smile on the former SOLDEIR’s face wasn’t particularly honest, light as it was. “I should truly like to say that I meant nothing that I did, when-- I should like to be able to say, with any amount of confidence, that I did not mean to cause the sort of pain and fear that I was responsible for causing.”
His gaze dropped further still. “More than ‘madness’, more than opportunity, more than manipulation... I cannot say that I did not intentionally move to accomplish every awful thing that I have done. There is no amount of regret or atoning that will undo the damage caused, or replace what I’ve taken. Don’t take that to mean that it isn’t worth trying. Simply... I know the reality of the situation.” Bitter. Acidic. Hard to take, hard to swallow, but it was necessary.
Clearing his throat, Sephiroth added, “It means, too, that I won’t let you think less of yourself and your potential because of your circumstances. No one... I wasn’t told as much when it might have mattered to me.”
#IC#cinderella-gurei#cinderella gurei#Kintsukuroi!Sephiroth#death mention cw#...kind of..?#((is just kind of happened))#((do as you please; no worries))#((...let's see how Tumblr handles all this though))#offline queue
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Perhaps Sephiroth had seen her actions more of a ploy or an act of ignorance. He certainly had the right of it. So much of what Sephiroth had endured were due to terrible experiments that were kept well under lock and key. Hardly anyone alive understood what all was involved. It had only been Gast, Hojo, and Lucrecia when Sephiroth’s creation had been executed; and now only Lucrecia was left alive. Her expression remained soft and comely at Sephiroth’s question. He didn’t have to believe anything she said… even if it pained her. She knew this was merely the result of her actions.
A pained smile crossed her lips in response to Sephiroth’s words. “I cannot easily die, no… and neither can you. But it’s not completely impossible, either.” She stood silent, observing Sephiroth with keen interest. “This… isn’t your true body, is it??” she mused allowed. She had sensed something was off about Sephiroth, but perhaps he had separated his spirit from his physical body. In other words… she had felt he had physically died, even if Vincent had denied it at one point. Yet, here he stood, seemingly alive and well. But was it truly him in the flesh? A slight sense of guilt came over Vincent as he didn’t want Lucrecia to know that her son had been killed; and now he was rebuilding his body to become something akin to a god of sorts. She knew her son was long gone. Thus, it pained Vincent to see her persist. He too had held the belief that there was possibly some ounce of humanity in Sephiroth. But deep inside, he knew that was long gone. Now he stood and watched Lucrecia suffer through the same fruitless endeavor. Only he knew she would never give up. After all, it was only natural for a mother to yearn for her son, no matter how far gone he was. Though he stood before her, he was many galaxies away from her. “In theory,” she quietly began as she continued to address Sephiroth’s question. “A strong will of another can break the chain of immortality. If it can bind you to life eternal, then so too can it break it. And your will is strong…” Her words fell solemnly, knowing Sephiroth had the strength and will to tear her down. It was simply a matter of testing it out. …perhaps she was forever a scientist after all. A mixture of anger and sadness loomed over Vincent’s face as he watched their interactions. He knew there was nothing he could do to prevent Lucrecia from desiring this suicidal request. He knew the suffering that came with being denied release. And yet… ‘Why do you care..?’ Lucrecia shook her head. “…It may seem meaningless to you,” she spoke thoughtfully. “I know I cannot turn back time. And I know you’ll never see me as a mother… I don’t deserve it. You deserve peace. I just wish I could give it to you… somehow.” She stayed her arms for a moment before slowly lowering her arms. Sephiroth wouldn’t even draw comfort from killing her, simply because she was nothing to him. It was one thing to be hated, but it was another to be nothing. Even in that, Hojo still managed to make an impression on Sephiroth. And she… utter nothingness. She truly meant nothing to Sephiroth, and never would ever mean anything. Lucrecia lowered her head. “…Is it wrong for me to give up?” Vincent lifted his head when he heard Lucrecia’s voice crack. Even if she was merely asking the question, he could tell she had already chosen to end the battle for her son. Her hazel eyes eventually landed on Vincent’s, brimming with tears afresh. The sight tore his heart once again. Not an ounce of hope was left in her. “Jenova’s right… It’s no use.” At this point, Vincent didn’t have a heart to encourage her any longer and didn’t give a response. He could practically feel Jenova triumphantly taunting Lucrecia. Without waiting for a response, Lucrecia gave Sephiroth one last look. “…I’m sorry… for everything.”
Before Vincent could prevent Lucrecia from touching Sephiroth, the silver-headed male deflected as though he had been touched by a burning torch. It was painful to behold, yet it wasn’t surprising to the gunslinger. Lucrecia flinched painfully when Sephiroth pulled away from her, simultaneously shocked by Jenova’s invasive thoughts. This caused Lucrecia to cry out and drop to her knees, gripping her head, the tears resuming their stream. Vincent immediately joined her side and held her close to his chest.
It was no use… “Sephiroth…” Lucrecia’s trembling voice was hardly anything more than a whisper as she buried her face against Vincent’s cloak, her tears staining the red velvet garment. Any hope she might have had to rejoin with her son had faded, and Vincent could feel it in her voice. “Lucrecia,” The gunslinger whispered, an equal amount of despondency in his own voice. “I shouldn’t have… perhaps I was wrong to…” The mournful mother trembled, but she managed to lift her head and look up at Vincent. She shook her head and seemed to realize how she had pushed Vincent away the entire time ever since Sephiroth had appeared. He chilled trembling fingers lifted and caressed Vincent’s face, aiding him to look at her. “N-no… no. Don’t be. You’ve done more for me than anyone. This…” She slowly turned to look towards Sephiroth, the painful knot in her throat swelling up, but she swallowed it back with much effort. To hear her own son tell to not touch him, and to treat her like some sort of disease… she understood. “…This was all my doing,” Lucrecia finished, her eyes directed at Sephiroth as she spoke to Vincent. “I’m the one who…” The words of Jenova once again rang in her head. Your every move… only damages him further. Tears poured down silently down both her cheeks. It was all true. There was nothing she could do to change what had happened. She knew he had been bred and raised to own a mighty power. At the time, she had thought Jenova to be an ancient, but as her time at Shinra came to a close, she realized who the alien was and what her son would become. And there stood the product of her choice—a weapon who would be wielded against the planet. Vincent had been kept in the dark. He had tried to stop her, but she had not only closed her ears to his pleas, but also chose to disregard the well-being of her child for the sake of science. This was her reward for her crimes. Bereft of a child she didn’t deserve… and one who would never see her anything but a monster. Lucrecia’s thoughts were once again diverted towards her son; her ears ever keen to his movements and his voice. His request made her fall silent. Though Vincent knew her asking Sephiroth was an invitation for issues, he was surprised to see her face looking as though she were weighing Sephiroth’s wish. The gunslinger searched Lucrecia’s face and gripped her shoulders as if to gently bring her back to reality. But he was once again ignored, and Lucrecia slowly stood up, Vincent following her movement as he too stood up, eyes locked upon the back of her head as she faced Sephiroth. “Sephiroth,” Lucrecia’s voice softened, this time keeping a respectful distance from him, letting him know she wouldn’t attempt to get close again. “…I understand. The people have wronged you. And this world sees you as a monster.” She lowered her head, her hands clasped over her chest as she continued softly. “You want closure… an end for those responsible for your suffering.” A tightness seemed to take hold of Vincent’s chest when he sensed what she was doing. “…I may not be able to fulfill all of your wish, and I know I cannot mend your heart. But…” She stood up straight, slowly holding her hands up towards him as if she were gifting him something in her hand. She then slowly opened her arms wide, the cold breeze flowing through her silk dress and soft tresses. “But if it will give you any sort of peace… I’m here for you.” Vincent’s eyes widened in horror. “Lucrecia?!”
#.Cycle of Suffering#Phantomyre Roleplay#ff7 roleplay#rp#((poor Seph; gotta give him credit for his patience though#((Jenova victory fan-fair music on queue
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I was tagged by the wonderful @nightingaleflowlibrary for this author interview tumblr game.
When did you start writing?
I don't remember the very first story that I wrote, but I imagine that I was quite young. I have always gravitated towards writing, as it allowed me to express myself in a way that I couldn't otherwise. I wrote my first full-length novel when I was 8 or 9. The exact age escapes me. It was around 50 k words and full of cliches, as to be expected.
Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?
Not really. I tend to read books in the genre that I write for. Even if I am writing fan fiction now, my fan fiction can be classified as dark fantasy. I do have romance playing a huge part of Fantasy Worlds Collide, though. Oh. There is one genre that I love to read but it's hard for me to write for: gothic romance.
Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?
I don't think there is a writer that I get compared to a lot in terms of my style. However, my worldbuilding gets compared to Tolkien in the sheer depth of it. I have taken those 'who do I write like' tests and I get anywhere from Stephen King to David Foster Wallace. If anyone has any opinions on who I write like, I would love to hear their opinions.
Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?
I typically write in the living room on my desktop. I used to write laying in bed with my laptop. My current writing space includes my an organizer for my writing supplies, a shelf that is stock full of dictionaries and thesaurus, action figures of the two main love interests of Fantasy Worlds Collide (Sephiroth and Sesshomaru), and the urn of the cat who passed on last year. Loki was my writing buddy and it felt strange to write without him.
What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?
As I write fan fiction, I tend to watch gaming videos of the world that I am writing about. I must seen the start of Rebirth now 100 times. No joke. It helps me immerse myself in that world and soon the creative juices start flowing. If this doesn't work, I go and read some of my short stories I've written.
Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?
The most obvious that comes to mind is trauma. I tend to work through my trauma by writing about it. I like exploring about love and relationships, fantasy, transformation, fate, and the true nature of good and evil in my work. No. It doesn't surprise me since I have been writing for more than 20 years.
What is your reason for writing?
I have a deep visceral need to write and create worlds. I have these ideas and stories that are inside of me, begging to be release. I write for myself, as I learned that I am the only one who will be able to develop the story that I want. I am glad that people like Bianca, and it does motivate me, but at the end of the day, Fantasy Worlds Collide is for me. This is a story 27 years in the making, as that is when I first developed Bianca's character in the winter of '97.
Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?
While I love ever comment I get, the one that has particularly stuck with me are the ones that tell me that the character I am writing for should be canonized. I get this comment by strangers and by my friends. It doesn't matter the fandom or the content. I recently had someone tell me that they now ship Bianca with Sephiroth, and this actually made me cry. To think that someone likes my writing enough to actually share in my joy of that romance.
I always try to temper these comments that if said OC was in canon that they most likely would be very different than what I write. Honestly, I don't know how to respond to those comments.
How do you want to be thought about by your readers?
I want to be thought of someone who can write well enough that their characters can live and breath in the world that they are writing for. I also want to be remembered as a fan fiction author whose works are coherent enough that they don't need to have played the game or watch the movie that the piece is from. I get this a lot too. I had a reader actually turn into a Witcher fan and bought all 3 games after reading my fan fiction on it.
What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?
My greatest strength as a writer is my ability to craft deep, emotionally complex characters and relationships. I love to weave intricate character dynamics that explore love, pain, loyalty, and betrayal while trying to balance that with grand themes like power, destiny, and sacrifice. My attention to the finer details of my characters gives them a sense of realism and depth. As such, I feel like my ability to explore both the internal struggles and external journeys of my characters (including canon ones) tries to create a compelling narrative. Or that is what I hope comes across.
How do you feel about your own writing?
I have days that are ups and downs when it comes to my own writing. As I have AVPD, I often have imposter syndrome. My accomplishments are there, such as my self-published books and the Daily Deviant reward I received, but there are times I don't feel 'good enough'.
I, also, have aphasia and will often struggle with words and phrases. It impacts my speech and writing at times. There are times where I will mix up words or add strange phrasing. A running joke between my husband and I was 'I care for you pretty a lot'. I wasn't trying to be cutesy, since I wanted to be like 'I care for you a lot', but it came out that way. When my aphasia is 'acting up' using when I'm tired, I tend to be very self-conscious about my writing.
Then, there are days where I feel like I am a wonderful author. These are the days where I feel like my writing is very well-written. During these days, I go back and re-read my works, as I had said that the only one who will tell my story the way I want is myself.
tagging: @serenofroses @themaradwrites @littleshopofchaos @prehistoric-creatures
@creativechaosqueen @megandaisy9 and OPEN TAG
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