#terrifier does have ad on amazon

[general-sleepy]

Media released in the literal 2020s will just not have audio description available. What even.

[maryellencarter]

Andy Serkis, of course, as *the* expert in motion-capture acting ever since he first played Gollum 20+ years ago, is a shapeshifter in ways beyond even most character actors to achieve.

He's also a high-level shapeshifter by normal character actor methods -- when I saw him in Black Panther (I think possibly the only place I've seen him wearing his own face, me not being a great moviegoer at the best of times), there was only one brief moment where an expression that reminded me of Gollum flickered through.

Recently, it turned out that a free trial of Amazon Prime which I happened to have running could be converted into a second free book credit on Audible if I should take a free trial there. I've been curious for some time about the 2021 audiobook of LOTR performed by Andy Serkis, and while trying to get my sleep schedule right way up for job-hunting purposes, I've been working on listening to his Fellowship of the Ring. (I've just reached Moria.)

It's a straight-up audiobook, not a play, by the technical definition: one performer, no music or added special effects. But *damn*, you want to talk about shapeshifting? Serkis does startlingly accurate impressions of every actor in the Peter Jackson movies, plus unique voices for characters with no movie casting, and he sings the songs that are described as having tunes.

(I don't have the ear to tell whether he's using new compositions or some kind of traditional tunes, except that I can say for certain he doesn't use Tolkien's rendition of "A fox went out on a winter's night" for Sam's "Troll Song". If anyone with a better ear than mine happens to investigate, I'd be delighted to know what's discovered.)

His narratorial voice isn't 100% Jirt, which is a Choice, but one I honestly support. The Professor had a thick Old English accent which would probably be a chore to listen to or perform for 60+ hours of total audiobook length. Serkis seems to be using something close to his natural Middlesex accent for the narration, as far as I can tell, but there are enough of the familiar Tolkienian twists (like using the "o" sound from the word "tossed" in "shone" and "wroth") that I'm favorably impressed so far.

His Elvish pronunciation isn't perfect, but it's solidly movie-quality (positive); you'd likely have to be me, with a quarter-century and counting of Sindarin as a second language, to snag on the tiny things I'm snagging on, stuff like the Finnish-style double-length "m" in Remmirath or the "eth" sound represented by the "dh" in Caradhras. (There is properly no D sound in Caradhras; the middle consonant sound should be that of the "th" in "these clothes", but I've never actually heard anyone besides myself say it that way.) He gets a lot of the tricky sounds correct, better than I do when I'm being sloppy, like the long-i-adjacent diphthong in Edain or the broad second A in Gandalf.

Also, the unique voices and the vocal effects he brings in for certain scenes are just... I don't even have words. The Barrow-Wight is as terrifying as it was when I was ten. Tom Bombadil sings about 95% of his dialogue, which I've never imagined any performance acknowledging unless it were the hypothetical LOTR opera I suggest every so often, but goddamn if he doesn't somehow make it work. For the movie-cast voices, he flips so smoothly between the mishmash of accents that I keep forgetting I'm not actually listening to a full-cast play with Billy Boyd's chirpy Glaswegian, Sean Bean's gruff Yorkshire, and Sean Astin's earnest put-on West Country all complete.

As for the lowest bar, the reason I refuse to recommend Rob Inglis's older unabridged audiobooks as an entry point -- Inglis regularly inserts contractions that aren't in the original text, turning the formal tone of scenes where "cannot" and "will not" are important signifiers into something incongruously conversational. I do not forgive that kind of alteration in a text where the formality level, and the changes between levels, are such an incredibly fundamental part of what's being conveyed. Serkis has already successfully cleared one dialogue point where it would have been easy to change "can not" to "can't" (Pippin talking nearly as fast as hobbitly possible), and I'm very optimistic that he'll continue to hit those marks.

Wow, that got longer than I expected, but I'm *really* enjoying this rendition. Unless it majorly blows up in my face somehow, I fully expect to have a new go-to recommendation for How To Experience LOTR for people who can't get through it by reading the text. (And even for people who can. I've said on many occasions, that book is written to be read aloud.)

[wytfut]

“Have you read the news today? Oh boy!” ... Beatles

I know I’m set in my ways ... and this makes me appear as an old curmudgeon.

But by golly, I enjoy a good news paper (actual paper), sitting down with breakfast or coffee and catching up on the world. 

WWW it appears has ruined all of this. Lots of folks believe everything they read... and www is most likely the worst place to do this. 

Unreliable sources... that mimmick “old school” news. I think I found a source on www, .... ABC.news .... not sure. It wasn’t really ABC. Because they added the “.”, they got away from the copyright issues. And that news was horrible at best.  Something to the tune of the rags they used to sell at the grocery store cash registers, ie, National Enquirer. It wasn’t ABC, it was some other company who loop holed the copy right by adding a “.”???  Well it wasn’t ABC. 

Paper newspaper got too expensive for us..... $68/month. And we went “e”. The journal start “e” is now jumping to almost $30/month. Several pages of this is from the day before reprinted. WHAT?? Why at $30/month do I want to reread part of yesterday’s news? Most of the time, its rewrite, of some article that doesn’t pertain to nothing,.... more of a self help article...    

With no sources of news being completely reliable, it makes a guy gun shy about coughing up any money. From where I sit, does anyone back up what they are reporting anymore? 

long side story:

I was a paper boy. I hand delivered papers daily on my sting ray schwinn. Foul weather and all. In the beginning it was $1.10/month (not sunday). From there it went to $2.20 including sunday. And about the time I done with my career, it had jumped to $4.40. Folks thought that was outrageous. 

Sunday and Wednesday papers were ass kickers .... sometimes 2 loads to deliver, as I couldn’t get them all in my “paper bags”.  Sunday was delivered in the morning before sun up. And the rest before 5:30 pm. I subbed before all of this the Lincoln Star (before journal star became one), which was a morning paper, for about a year. . (humor sidenote, both printed same building, just different names, representing different time delivered). . 

I remember some of my customers being total jerks about paying for the paper... and would go months without paying. Those days the paperboy would have to go to their home to collect the monthly payments. One customer owed me 4 months (getting close to $10...). Pop decided to help out, and tagged along in Uniform. 

They leaped out of their comfy chair and immediately paid. I still chuckle with that memory. 

I’d pick up my papers at the S W corner of Cotner and Adams. One sunday morning before sun up, a car come flying down Cotner, and couldn’t make the curve (too fast). The Cekja house was right there at the apex of the curve. The car lost it, and rolled a couple of times and crashed into a huge old Elm tree on the Cekja property. 

Me being pretty young was totally terrified.... grabbed my bundle of papers and hi tailed it home. Scared shitless no less.

I heard as soon as the car had quit moving, the driver try and start it back up. Got it started, and moved on down Cotner.  

About the same time I got into the house, I saw the car coming down 68th. I was positive the driver was looking for me (get rid of the witnesses). So I turned off all the lites in the house, and hid on the floor. Sure as shit the car came around to our side of the “ditch” heading right for our home. 

Car was running horribly, flat tire or 2, steel grinding some wheres..... and putted on by our house, and stopped at the neighbors. 

Turned out, it was the neighbor. All drunked up, missed the turn on Adams. But got his car home and stumbled into the house. ... 

We are going to give up on the journal star.... and I’m looking around for a good news source that is within my budget....

Cuz Jorika suggests NPR and/or Nebraska Public Media “app”. Alexa has failed me miserably, as well as Amazon. 

I listen to a lot of podcasts.... mostly when I’m pedaling “no where”. Really like “democracy now” but no local news. 

Thanx Jo.... I’ll give your idea a go. 

[thegalaxyonherlips]

I may be outright wrong, but I'm terrified of the UK government's lack of care about corporate monopolys on different industries in the UK.

The law regulating dominance in the European Union is governed by Article 102 of the Treaty on the Functioning of the European Union which aims at enhancing the consumer's welfare and also the efficiency of allocation of resources by protecting competition on the downstream market. The existence of a very high market share does not always mean consumers are paying excessive prices since the threat of new entrants to the market can restrain a high-market-share company's price increases. Competition law does not make merely having a monopoly illegal, but rather abusing the power a monopoly may confer, for instance through exclusionary practices (i.e. pricing high just because it is the only one around). It may also be noted that it is illegal to try to obtain a monopoly, by practices of buying out the competition, or equal practices. 

I did pull this off of Wikipedia but I thought it would help to define what a monopoly is and what the rules are regarding the monopolies of industries.

So, I am reading a hefty book This is Vegan Propaganda (and Other Lies the Meat Industry Tells You) by Ed Winters, and he mentions this:

"In fact, it is estimated that around 97% of chicken farmers in the USA are currently contractors for these huge corporations. It's a similar story in UK, with companies such as Moy Park, who have a near monopoly on farmers in Northern Ireland, and Avara Foods contracting smaller farms to supply them with their animals."

So then I did some research and found this:

"the UK Competition and Markets Authority fined a small seller of Justin Bieber wall posters for engaging in an illegal cartel – but left the supremacy of Amazon, the platform through which the conspiracy was perpetrated, untouched."

"Competition authorities are often hesitant to intervene with the growing power of technology companies because they fear clipping the wings of “golden geese”. This is partly why Facebook was allowed to acquire Instagram, and Google could purchase Waze. The same could be said of the European commission’s approvals of the Facebook/WhatsApp and Google/DoubleClick mergers. These deals consolidated the giants’ control over online ads, which is driving the spread of disinformation and hate speech."

"UK expenditure on digital advertising amounts to £500 per year for every household, about 80% of which goes straight to Facebook and Google. And although Uber rides are cheaper than many taxi fares, the company avoids paying any VAT on its booking fees."

All in an article published by the Guardian: "Monopoly power is running wild. We need tough competition laws to rein it in" by Michelle Meagher. To put it simply: the UK has been ignoring the law of monopolies for a long time now and we're starting to see total control over industries being ushered in so that the government have fewer people to answer to and those are the corporations that run the world. You think I'm kidding? Consider what's in your house. In your hands. Consider the food you eat. All being in control of the few people who are pally with the current government. I'm sorry, but I'm terrified of this dystopian hellscape we live in enough already to consider what is actually happening right now.

[laocommunity]

Unleashing the Dark Side: The Terrifying Truth About "Predator" Android Malware and Its 5 Devastating Exploits!

Unleashing the Dark Side: The Terrifying Truth About "Predator" Android Malware and Its 5 Devastating Exploits! Unleashing the Dark Side: The Terrifying Truth About "Predator" Android Malware and Its 5 Devastating Exploits! The world of technology is constantly evolving, and with each advancement, new threats emerge. One such threat is the "Predator" Android malware, which has been wreaking havoc on mobile devices around the world. In this article, we will explore the terrifying truth about this malware and its five devastating exploits. What is "Predator" Android Malware? "Predator" Android malware is a form of malicious software that targets Android devices. It is a type of Trojan malware that disguises itself as a legitimate app and then infiltrates the device. Once it is installed, it can collect sensitive data from the user, such as personal information, banking details and login credentials. Exploit #1: Spyware One of the primary features of "Predator" Android malware is its ability to act as spyware. It can access a user's phone calls, text messages, browsing history, and location data. This information can be used to monitor a user's activity, track their movements, and even steal their identity. Exploit #2: Rootkit "Predator" Android malware also has the ability to act as a rootkit. This means that it can gain access to the deepest levels of the device's operating system, allowing it to manipulate system files and settings. This can be especially dangerous as it can make it virtually impossible to remove the malware from the device. Exploit #3: Botnet Another powerful feature of "Predator" Android malware is its ability to create a botnet. This means that infected devices can be controlled remotely and used to perform automated tasks, such as sending spam emails or launching DDoS attacks. This can cause significant harm to both the individual device owner and the wider internet community. Exploit #4: Ransomware "Predator" Android malware can also act as ransomware. This means that the malware can encrypt a user's files and demand payment in exchange for the decryption key. This can be incredibly damaging for individuals and organizations alike, as it can lead to a loss of valuable data and significant financial loss. Exploit #5: Ad Fraud Finally, "Predator" Android malware can carry out ad fraud. This involves the malware generating fraudulent clicks on ads, which can lead to increased revenue for the cybercriminals behind the malware. While this may seem like a victimless crime, it can lead to decreased ad credibility and revenue loss for legitimate advertisers. How to Protect Yourself from "Predator" Android Malware Protecting yourself from "Predator" Android malware is essential if you want to keep your sensitive information safe. Some tips for protecting yourself include: - Only download apps from trusted sources such as Google Play Store or Amazon App Store - Keep your device's software up-to-date - Use a reliable antivirus app - Be wary of clicking on unknown links or attachments - Install an ad blocker to prevent ad fraud Conclusion In conclusion, "Predator" Android malware is a serious threat to mobile devices around the world. Its ability to act as spyware, rootkit, botnet, ransomware, and perform ad fraud can have devastating consequences for individuals and organizations alike. By taking the necessary precautions, however, you can protect yourself from this malicious software. FAQs - 1. How does "Predator" Android malware infect a device? - 2. Can "Predator" Android malware be removed? - 3. How can I prevent "Predator" Android malware from infecting my device? - 4. How do cybercriminals behind "Predator" Android malware profit from their activities? - 5. What should I do if I suspect my device has been infected with "Predator" Android malware? #TECH Read the full article

[allthingsdarkanddirty]

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[lotronprimesucks]

I want to add (for the sake of full criticism) that Sauron canonically prefers to seduce men.

Celebrimbor’s unrequited love for Galadriel only exists in one draft - in most other versions of the story, he’s not attached to her in that way. But Sauron consistently prefers to focus on and entrap and trick men, as in people whose gender is “man”. He turns into Gorlim’s wife, he seduces Pharazôn and Celebrimbor (and what he does in the text is described as seduction!), he ensnares Isildur and Gollum/Sméagol and Bilbo and Frodo and Boromir through the Ring (with Galadriel as the only woman he ever has any contact with in that form and she IMMEDIATELY rejects him), he breaks and ruins Denethor and tries to do the same to Pippin.

Amazon didn’t have to present Sauron as explicitly and textually gay, but he doesn’t at any point in his life romance or prioritize contact with women. He’s instead canonically terrified of Melian and jealous of Lúthien taking up Morgoth’s attention. Adding in this unnecessary heterosexuality is a sign of the failures of the show to grasp that Tolkien’s work is queerer, or at least more inclusive of queer people, than you might assume at first glance.

Rings of Power is Insidiously Sexist

And I’m tired of pretending none of us can see it.

If you enjoy the show, please don’t take this as an attack on you. All media has problematic elements and we all do the best we can in a messed up world. My ire is reserved strictly for the people making these “creative” choices.

The way the show treats Galadriel is misogynistic.

Turning the kind, matronly sage imbued with divine wisdom by the light of the two trees into a naive, selfish hothead who gets ship baited with both the villain AND her son-in-law for titillation is incredibly sexist.

They wouldn’t have had Elrond kiss his father-in-law to “save” him. Everyone would’ve rightfully been disgusted. So why is it okay to do this to Galadriel?

Elrond wouldn’t kiss Gil-Galad, or Celebrimbor, or his bff Durin to “save” them. We would all recognize this as sloppy OOC writing just meant to stir up shippers. So why is it acceptable to do to Galadriel? Being a female character is not an invitation to use her as fan service ship bait. Not once but TWICE.

The way the score swells and the kiss is deep and framed as romantic (even though he’s handing her something and didn’t need to shove himself on her like that at all!), despite the fact that Galadriel is married and elves are by nature monogamous (so much so that forcing yourself on them can even KILL them). As if everything about the narrative framing is subconsciously telling you to ignore Galadriel’s POV and the discomfort she would be feeling and be moved by how “meaningful” this kiss is. But also it’s a deception so don’t get mad! So incredibly transparent.

The fact that they also made her an arrogant idiot that fell for Sauron’s manipulations, when in Tolkien’s canon she is described as one of first to see through him, is also a telling choice. Especially when it would’ve made more sense to have Celebrimbor be the one manipulated and fooled.

So why have it be Galadriel? Why not do their weird ship-teasing bullshit between Annatar and Celebrimbor? At least it might serve the story then.

It’s because she is “female elf”, and therefore she has to be mean, violent, selfish, and stupid. But she isn’t allowed to be criticized either! That’s their idea of a “strong” female character.

So yeah. Personally I find that incredibly sexist.

So for that, I rate ROP a big old “cast it into the fire”.

[fahmyfblogs]

Are you being watched right now?

"Don't find customers for your product. Find products for your customers."- Seth Godin

The internet is a vibrant community that connects the world together. It is also an amazing place to advertise and build a market. Businesses over the world have flourished due to online marketing and website tracking. Cookies are a type of website tracker that correlates an individual with ads they might have an interest in. Nowadays, almost every website has cookies and website trackers. Cookies and website trackers are a significant advancement in the field of advertising.

I visited over 6 sites, to track how much I was being tracked. Using Disconnect, I was truly able to conceptualize the extent of online tracking. I was mind blown by how much information is being gathered. The site that had the most amount of tracking was Amazon. I was searching for a phone charger and I had numerous website trackers and cookies gathering information.

In the above screenshots, the website trackers and cookies are visually conveyed. Google is a major website tracker and it generates a large revenue from ads. Almost every website, I visited had google as a website tracker. The idea of being tracked constantly and my information being gathered both intrigued me and terrified me. Advertisement and marketing is crucial for businesses, it also makes the Internet such a vibrant community. Although, It does bring up important questions on online privacy.

[jamtoasties3316]

Daniel being so mean to Lando over their race dildos 😳 (oops this turned out really long sorry)

Daniel thought he was special you know? He loved showing off his talents so much he does extra shows pre and post race in his room, showing off how its not just his pussy thats trained to take anything, but also his ass. He'll either have his trainer, Michael, knot him, or help him ease a long chain of huge anal beads or a slink type dildo* all the way into his asshole. Sometimes his pussy is left alone to gape and drip for the cameras, other times Daniel will have both holes stuffed to the max.

*they're like 2 foot long very flexible dildos with a buttplug style end

So Daniel finding out Mclaren hasnt tried once in 2 years to train Lando's holes... he's not pleased. Daniel was trained by Red Bull who believe their drivers should push to the end of their physical limitations, Daniel and Max were their prized omegas the ones who pushed the furtherest. Its not fair Lando who puts in 'zero effort' gets all the praise.

Daniel doesn't care that he hurt Lando trying to train him but Mclaren will. Lando is their precious tiny omega. Poor thing's holes take weeks to fully heal from the abuse and now he's terrified of anything going in him. Lando gets so stressed before races and being close to Daniel, stress makes him tighter down there, it becomes hard to get the dildo in, he gets more stressed, a toxic cycle forms.

Exactly!

Daniel just training so hard for racing purposes but also for the promotional videos and seat cam. He films his prep where he fingers himself open to take the big dildos up his pussy, like this, this or this and he likes to swap out the dildos he has in the car too.

Daniel picked Michael as his trainer because they are friends, but also because Michael has a nice big cock that looks good on video when pushing into his ass or pussy. Michael is also very skilled at helping ease toys into Daniel which is needed too as Daniel sometimes gets too shaky and clumsy to do it on his own. After the race, he takes things even further when people request it. He loves his anal beads because they reach so deep in him, and he takes the smaller beads with ease but needs to have Michael force the bigger ones past his rim. Love the idea of the slink dildo (can you imagine Toto using that on his dolly too, lol), and that would kinda be his signature thing. He has a massive one that takes a long time to press into him and his belly just bulges by the time he suceeds while his rim is stretched to the max around the large girth. He can cum continuously from that pressure alone, just whining as Michael keeps his legs spread for the camera and shows his pussy desperately clenching, wanting to be filled too and just leaking slick in little spurts when Michael only taps the little clit.

Max trained really hard too so Daniel had respect for him and they even did videos together, but now he is teamed up with Lando who takes the tiniest dildo and gets almost more views than Daniel?? Its unfair and Lando is clearly just too lazy to work for it because any omega can take horse sized dildos if they try hard enough.

Lando's normal dildo is tiny and even that takes Daniel a while to push into Lando because his pussy is so tight and he is being stressed over nothing which makes it worse. It angers Daniel and he gets out a regular sized dildo that he forces into Lando as well. lando just cries and is struggling to take it and his little pussy bleeds a bit afterwards which makes Daniel roll his eyes and try to see if Lando's ass is any better. Lando is waddling so much the next day and so so sore and the next time they have to race he cries when they try to put the dildo into him because the stress just makes it even more impossible.

Daniel is reprimanded a bit but McLaren understands it too tbh so they also still let Daniel lead Lando's training which Lando hates.

(added links to some amazon listings for the toys lol. Visual examples help me a lot to envision stuff so thought it might be fun. Let me know if it works/ you like it :))

[thessalian]

Thess vs Internet Profitability

Some of the shit going on insofar as turning the internet into as much of a money-making machine as possible (NFTs, cryptocurrency, even the ever-present algorithm bullshit that tailors ads for people) gets me thinking that maybe the only reason for doing this isn’t intense greed. I mean, sure, a lot of the reason is that they see this thing that people are engaging in and not making them any significant money and they can’t bear not having all the money in the world. (Though again I ask why the fuck they think it would be a good idea to possess ALL THE MONEY because the economy dies when the money stops circulating, jackasses!)

I just don’t think that’s all of it. I think that turning bits of the internet into advertising monstrosities and selling non-fungible whatever-the-fuck and making up a whole new currency not based on any standard that can be verified or assessed the way the gold standard or Sterling can ... and also constantly attempting to kill Net neutrality ... is because it honestly saves people money a lot of the time.

Lemme ‘splain. We’re all living in a really rough time, socio-economically speaking. Especially economically speaking. It becomes clearer and clearer every day that the people who make the laws and who promised to govern us have no regard for our physical, mental or emotional well-being. They’re perfectly happy to let us all flounder, because frankly it helps the economy. Because seriously, whole bits of the economy are based specifically on the principle of working us to death and/or distraction-in-the-sense-of-madness. There’s the “commuter economy”, because even leaving aside what that does for all the property developers collecting rent on commercial buildings, you’re also looking at whole vistas of chain eateries specialising in coffee and quasi-healthsome sandwiches all making bank on the fact that most of us don’t get decent lunch or coffee breaks and we need calories and caffeine fast. There’s convenience food in general - single-serving packaged stuff you can stick in the oven or microwave because who has the energy when they get home? The video game industry’s taken full advantage of it by making progress grindy as fuck unless you buy advantages with real money, even in single-player games, never mind loot boxes (and their current insistence on trying to drag NFTs and crypto into the mess of money-grubbing that it is). Of course, they help set the bar for abusing their employees themselves, along with Amazon and Uber, and they all capitalise on the same thing - people are too tired and too stressed and too unhappy, and they want something nice, and they don’t actually have the time to wait for it. Same thing with food, but add on “don’t have the energy to make it ourselves”.

So why does the internet actually save people money? Because however divided we get on matters of fandom nonsense or stance on veganism or any of the other thousands of issues of the day, on this one thing we know that we’re all in this together. We all know what it is to struggle with money, to struggle with disabilities, to have mental health issues, and to still need to take care of ourselves. Those of us with dietary restrictions who can’t tolerate prepackaged food know what it is to have to cook anyway, no matter how tired we are or how much pain we’re in. Those of us with impulse control issues who’ve lived with the tendency to just click to the next thing without thinking know what it is to need something to hyperfocus on that won’t bankrupt them. Those of us who have issues with object permanence know what it is to have to rearrange your living space to accommodate that while still being able to clean. We’ve all had something vital break on us that we haven’t been able to afford to replace. We’ve all needed something to get us through a dark time.

At least in my corner of it, that’s what the internet is for. Yeah, most social media’s been monetised to fuck and Twitter’s terrifying (it’s amazing how much vitriol and/or stupid you can pack into 280 characters), but Tumblr’s refreshing in that they’ve never been able to turn it into a capitalist hellscape no matter how hard they’ve tried. And honestly, that’s because of us. We’re not here to buy shit, exactly - well, sometimes we’re here to buy things from each other, but that’s support right there. But we’re here to be here, if you’ll excuse the tautology. We’re here to show people the shiny things we’ve found - the beautiful things, the adorable things, the inspiring things, the useful things - that lift our spirits in ways that don’t cost us anything (and yes, I know touching grass doesn’t cost anything - except that it can if you live in an urban area where you don’t have grass, or you just really need fresh input but your budget doesn’t allow for travel so someone showing you beautiful photography of a city you’ve never seen in person is almost vital). We’re here to support each other by providing information (writing references, drawing references, recipes, home repair tips, project ideas, ways to deal with all manner of issues and problems) to spare a Google search, which circumvents a lot of the “DATA FOR THE DATA GOD” algorithm bullshit, not to mention casual pokes through your search history by controlling parents / spouses / whatever.

Also? We’re here to entertain each other - and not just Tumblr, either. Can’t afford a new book but really need something new to read? AO3′s got your back. Yeah, YouTube's getting really shitty about their monetisation and ads, but between that and TikTok, we’ve still got some stuff that’s both entertaining and useful that we can access without a subscription charge or poking around a torrent site.

I dunno; it just feels like maybe they feel like they have to “claim back” the money we’ve “stolen” from them by using the internet to save ourselves money while still living as well as we can. Not that I pity them for any of this; they can suck it, for all I care. But I’m one of those people who needs a reason for things to be the way they are, and who also sometimes needs to remember that the internet, while often full of capitalist leeches or just plain assholes, is a brilliant thing. And I still want to thank you all for keeping at least some corners of it brilliant.

[lesbiansforboromir]

Impossible LotR Quiz Answer sheet with explanations!

As an addendum, since people have been doing the quiz I’ve seen a few mistypes and awkwardnesses that are my own fault so I’ve corrected them. This means some people got a higher score than was shown, know that when I looked over your answers I saw your actually right answers and fully appreciated them! It’s good to not that the ‘fill in the blanks’ questions will not take two words in one space, so I’ve had to get creative with how I apply two named folk like Mardil Voronwe, or people who have numbers like Hurin I.

I would also like to say, to everyone talking about how they’ve never read the Silmarillion, this quiz is very purposefully almost entirely based outside of the Silmarillion. This is Appendices stuff! Indeed there is only 1 question even tangentally related to elves in here, this is by design. 

@magaramach, @brynnmclean and @apojiiislands asked to be tagged in this! Answers under the cut. 

Q2. Who was Dora Baggins in relation to Bilbo Baggins? - Second cousin on his father's side Dora Baggins is a very elderly woman who was the daughter of Bilbo’s father’s brother. She likes writing people a lot of unsolicited advice! THIS WAS WRONG AND SAID FIRST COUSIN FOR SO LONG AND I AM DEEPLY SORRY FOR IT.

Q3. How many pairs of biological twins are mentioned in the whole of Arda's timeline and what races do they belong too? - 2 for men, 1 for elves and 3 for half-elves Fastred and Folcred, Haleth and Haldar (men) Amrod and Amras (elves) Elured and Elurin, Elrond and Elros, Elladan and Elrohir (half-elves) Now, admittedly Elladan and Elrohir are never actually described as twins. However they appear completely identical and have the same birth date, so it is assumed.

Q4. Baldor is who the skeleton scratching at the door used to be. When Aragorn and co pass through the paths of the dead they find a skeleton clawing at a door to the mountain. It is finely dressed and described as mighty and was later essentially confirmed to be Baldor, the eldest son of King Brego of Rohan, also called Baldor the hapless, who foolishly wandered into the paths of the dead on, apparently, a dare. (the answer to this was originally Brego because of a foolish typo from me, many apologies!)

Q5. When was the Ondonóre Nómesseron Minaþurie written? - During Meneldil's reign. “Enquiry into the Place-names of Gondor” was a text written by settled numenoreans about their new kingdom during Meneldil’s reign, who was the first sole King of Gondor after both Anarion (his father) and Isildur had perished.   

Q6. Farmer Maggot's particular friend was Tom Bombadil  It is stated that Farmer Maggot sometimes peacefully passes through the Old Forest to go and meet Tom Bombadil, who very much enjoys his company. However! Those who answered Merry or Pippin still deserve excellent recognition, Farmer Maggot was indeed fond of Pippin and respected Merry greatly.

Q7. What was the office of the Steward originally created to do? - Keep the Tradition of Isildur When Romendacil I went to war in the east, he realised that if he died then the secret of the Tradition of Isildur would die with him. Hence he wrote it down in a sealed scoll and gave it to a trusted confidante, to be given to his heir if he should perish. This tradition was maintained by further kings and those trusted confidantes became the Stewards of Gondor. This, admittedly, is a more suggested progression than explicit, but it’s a Impossible evil quiz so :) Q8. What was the 'Tradition of Isildur'? - Remember where Elendil was buried. Elendil had been secretly entombed in Calenardhon, supposedly the midpoint between Gondor and Arnor. This was a hallowed space for only Kings at first, but in later years when the Stewards came to rule Gondor they also were permitted the secret. Cirion had the remains moved when Calenardhon was gifted to the Eotheod to eventually become a part of the Kingdom of Rohan. 

Q9. At the time of Pelargir's founding, is the world flat or round? - Flat. Pelargir was founded as a ‘Faithful Numenorean’ haven on the river Anduin. Therefore it was built before Numenor’s destruction in the Akallabeth, the reason for which being that Eru turned the world from flat to round. 

Q10. Which of these monarchs were indolent and had no interest in ruling? - King Atanatar I - King Narmacil I - Tar-Vanimelde King Atanatar I ruled during Gondor’s richest generation and seemed to believe that meant he didn’t need to put any work in. Narmacil I, his son, didn’t want to put any work in, but he at least assigned his nephew, Minalcar, as ‘Karma-Kundo’ or regent during his reign. So he at least did something to keep the country going. Tar-Vanimelde had no interest in ruling and allowed her husband to do most of the governence. This backfired when she died and he organised a coup against his son to hold power.

Q11. When looking back on the Ship-Kings of Gondor, King Tarannon Falastur began the invasion of Harad and expanded Gondor's borders, King Earnil-I finally took Umbar but died at sea shortly afterwards, King Ciryandil spent most of his reign trying to defend Umbar and died in it's seige and King Hyarmendacil defended Umbar against seiges for 35 years before making war upon all Harad and claiming Harondor as a province of Gondor, ending the line of the Ship Kings.

Q12. What happened during the reign of King Romendacil II? - I don't know! Nothing? Yes I know this is particularly evil of me but Romendacil II was originally called Minalcar, yes the same Minalcar who became REGENT of Gondor due to Narmacil’s indolent nature. Minalcar indeed did everything else listed as answers to this question, but none of them happened during his reign as king. Indeed, his reign was said to be peaceful and we have no real information on it, so technically saying we don’t know, and suggesting nothing happened, is actually the most correct answer :)

Q13. Who succeeded Tar-Telperien of Numenor? - Her nephew, Minastir Tar-Telperien was a lesbian Queen of Numenor who never married and never wanted too and did an excellent job and I love her. Her nephew built a tower to mope in about how much he wanted to be an elf. They are not the same. Absolutely terrified about what Amazon could do to her. 

Q14. Whilst his brethren, the nazgul, were attacking the Prancing Pony, The Witch-King was waiting in the Barrow Downs and probably had a really nice time. Not much to this! Witch King was chilling with the Barrow Wights. 

Q15. Which of these characters are described as 'beautiful' at least once in the Lord of the Rings? - Galadriel, Denethor, Eowyn, Frodo, Elanor, Celeborn, Boromir Yes, Arwen is never described as beautiful, but Denethor is :)

Q16. We all love Boromir II, select the similarities he and Boromir I did NOT share. - Renowned relationship with the Rohirrim. - Destroyed the Bridge of Osgiliath - Feared by the Witch King - Retook Ithilien. - Had a brother. In case you’re wondering, yes, I love both Boromirs. But this question is a fun highlight of how many similarities Boromir II has with his namesake. These are the only things they didn’t both do. Although! Boromir I’s son was Cirion who allied with the Eotheod and created Rohan in the first place, the Uruk-Hai destroyed the Bridge of Osgiliath in Boromir I’s lifetime, Boromir II was PROBABLY feared by the witch-king we just don’t know, Boromir II held Ithilien and Boromir I had two elder sisters like Denethor II did.

Q17. Hey, did you know that, from Boromir I's war with the Uruk-Hai of the Morgul Vale, Gondor didn't know peace until Sauron's death on the 25th of March, 3019? Hah hah! How gut wrenching is that? About how long do you think it has been since Gondor knew peace then? Hey wait does that mean Boromir I's valiant victory that came at a personal sacrifice was the beginning of Gondor's wars and then Boromir II's valiant sacrifice was the end- oh god... oh fuck - 550 years To everyone who answered the crossed out answer,,, you’re correct in my heart. You get bonus points. Also hey! What the fuck :) 

Q18. Who was Borondir? - The rider sent to find Eorl who made it to him after starving himself for two days but who then rode to the Celebrant with Eorl anyway and died in that battle. Literally couldn’t love this fellow more. Big Hirgon energy. A hero of Gondor for time immemorial. 

Q19. The Ruling Stewards, from first to last (with their numbers typed as so Turin-I Hurin-II etc), were as follows; Mardil ; Eradan ; Herion ; Belegorn ; Hurin-I ; Turin-I ; Hador ; Barahir ; Dior ; Denethor-I ; Boromir-I ; Cirion ; Hallas ; Hurin-II ; Belecthor-I ; Orodreth ; Ecthelion-I ; Egalmoth ; Beren ; Beregond ; Belecthor-II ; Thorondir ; Turin-II ; Turgon ; Ecthelion-II ; Denethor-II ; and for like two seconds ; Faramir ; Alrighty, we had a bit of a fight in my discord about this but eventually I did relent in agreement that Faramir IS... very briefly... legally considered a RULING Steward. Ruling Stewards being Stewards that ruled a Kingless Gondor. But! With Aragorn RIGHT THERE is just seemed very redundant. Still! I’ll allow the pedant to win out, ten minutes is still a Ruling Steward. ALSO! I decided that having an extra box for the ‘voronwe’ part of mardil voronwe was just mean as it set everyone’s answers off kilter, so I removed that. ALSO for all of those calling me a bastard for adding this question, @illegalstargender was the one who requested it! I wasn’t going too! 

Q20. The Stewards, despite ruling through very tumultuous and violent periods, were often known for boring things (because they simply ruled better than the Kings did, I said what I said) But what boring thing was Steward Turin I remembered for? - Being the only monarch of Gondor that married twice This skeezy bastard really did marry a second time during his OLD age just to father a son. I can only imagine what a dreadful cultural and social effect this had on this prude country. It’s so unnecessary! He had daughters, many of them! One of them certainly had a son before he did. He was just being a controlling arse, down with Turin I!!!!

[terrm9]

Could you share more of Chiara's and Bryce's story? Did they ever make out? Does he know her family? That friendship is golden🌟

I will be happy to share their story <3 (this turned out rather long. Sorry if you didn’t want THAT much:D also I am once again adding my taglist and once again please ignore the tag if you do not care about this weird sort of fic:D)

It was her first day. First day as a doctor, first day out of safety of a med school and known cities and Dr. Ramsey already hated her and she screwed up with Annie and this is not what she wanted. Chiara desperately needed a cigarette to calm her blazing senses but she couldn’t quite well leave the hospital to smoke and so she hid in the nearest supply closet and hoped for the best. And then Bryce - she was happy to remember his name - walked in and before she could tell him to go away, he sat on the floor next to her and smiled. And Chiara’s heart fluttered in her chest because he had Liam’s smile. The wide, bright, warm smile that looked like it could snap his face in two pieces. And he smelled good and leaned so close and Chiara didn’t know what has gotten into her but she kissed him. And damn, the kiss calmed her down just right.

Until she realized what happened. She broke the kiss and looked at the Bryce, terrified. It is not like she never kissed mindlessly before - even though she never dated in the med school, she did attend a party here and there and it’s not like kissing is a big deal. And Bryce’s lips were very kissable. But this was not a med school party, this was a supply closet in a hospital she just started to work in.

“I am so sorry,” she stuttered. “I don’t do this normally, I swear!”

“I bet you usually don’t cry in a supply closet either,” Bryce grinned, not a single hint of tension in that smile and after the pep talk, they both left the supply closet with the wide smiles on their faces.

And they clicked that day. The smile remained on Chiara’s face and she just felt it in her gut that this Lahela guy just became her first friend in Boston. Little did she know back than that he would become her best friend for life.

Soon, they started to meet on their lunch breaks intentionally and it was for the first time in six years that Chiara let someone get close to her, close enough to call him friend. And he still reminded her of Liam, with his teasing and jokes and that smile. And he was the first person to remind her her brother without the reminder being painful. It actually felt great. Heartwarming. She felt happy.

And Bryce felt happy too. There was something about Chiara being so sincere and just such a good person that let him believe that even if she did find out about his family and its history, she wouldn’t see him as an asshole. Chiara made it easy to believe that he could have real friends somewhere out there.

The physical attraction between them was undeniable. And so they kissed often. No strings attached, just two people that enjoyed each other’s lips. After two months of their friendship, Chiara realized that she hasn’t had a cigarette in weeks. Bryce’s smile and his words and his kisses calmed her down even better.

The first time their kisses turned into a hook up was after the housewarming party. It felt great, because how could it not. But there was no spark that would indicate that those hook up could turn into something more and they made it clear that best friends is what they are. Best friends that help each other blow some steam off occasionally.

It was at the time when Chiara admitted to herself that she truly liked Ethan, that she also realized that she and Bryce were spending more and more time as best friends without the benefit of physical touch. Adventures, swimming in the lakes and picnics, roadtrip to New York and karaoke nights, movies in his apartment and roommies nights that Bryce was automatically invited to.

It was one night when she stayed over for a night at Bryce’s place and he laughed on something, a genuine, rich laugh that had her stare at him for longer that would be appropriate.

“What?” Bryce asked when he noticed her intense gaze.

“You laugh like him, too. Exactly like him,” she whispered and Bryce’s smile fell of his face because Chiara just shared something she never shared with him before. 

“Like who?”

“My brother,” she answered slowly, still lost in her weird state.

“Oh, he must be awesome, then,” he grinned.

“He was,” Chiara nodded.

It was that very moment when the first tear fell from her eyes and she spilled her heart. She told Bryce everything, about Liam and Dorian and her family never being the same again and it was the first time in six years, the first time since the accident that she talked about it to anyone besides her family. And it felt like healing.

Then she left to Miami. When she came back, something was off, Bryce could tell. She told him the same day she returned that the hookups needed to stop and Bryce agreed, because no matter how much they enjoyed those, it started to feel weird. Their friendship was deeper than that. Chiara even admitted that there is a man in her life which she fell for and it feels all kinds of wrong to kiss anyone else and she never told him who it was but Bryce is perceptive and celever and he came to know her so very well and she didn’t need to tell him for him to know. But who was he to push her to tell him anything?

Their friendship kept frowing stronger and stronger every day and even without Bryce’s kisses, Chiara didn’t feel the need to smoke. One hug, one whispered “you got this, Chiaris” and she calmed down enough to get through her day.

But then Ethan left the hospital and with it, he left Chiara. And life became just too much to bear, because Naveen, her dear Naveen, was dying and Ethan left her alone and Mrs. Martinez died and she could lose her license and one night, she was so alone and overwhelmed and so she left the apartment to take a walk and smoke a cigarette or two. She called Bryce, instead.

“Hey,” his sleepy voice greeted her. “Is everything okay?”

“No, it’s not. Everything has gone to shit, Bryce,” Chiara sobbed into the phone.

“Where are you?”

“Walking around the block.”

“Go home, you’ll catch cold. I’ll be there in thirty.”

With that, he hung up and showed at the doorstep in thirty minutes. And he hugged Chiara and promised to stay by her side no matter what happens next.

After Ethan left to Amazon, Chiara couldn’t really blame him. She couldn’t hate him, no matter how much she wished she could. But it still did hurt. And after the year she has had, Chiara just... wanted to go home. And so she asked for a vacation and Naveen quickly approved her two weeks off (because Naveen knew) and then Chiara dared to ask Bryce if maybe he would like to visit San Francisco with her.

Of course he would like that. So he did.

Chiara knew that Bryce would be just fine, that he would fit, that he would get along with her mom and her sister, because well, it was Bryce. She never expected for them to love each other so much after those two weeks. Diana Ray LOVES Bryce. She found a son in him and for the first time in his lifetime, Bryce Lahela knows what a mother’s love feels like.

Bryce and Diana keep in touch. She sends him a gift on his birthday and Christmas and he sends her a postcard from every single one of his trips.

“Hey, Chiara,” Bryce smiled one day, deep into the second year of their residency, as he sat down next to Chiara. “Mom asked me to say hi to you!”

“Uh...” Chiara furrowed her brows in an utter confusion. “Why would she send her greetings through you? She could’ve called me.”

“Well, your facetime day is Saturday.”

“And?”

“And ours is Wednesday. It is sooner.”

“You face-timed mom yesterday?”

“Yup! She is doing great, don’t worry,” Bryce smiled. Not grinned, not smirked, smiled so sincerely Chiara’s heart hurt in her chest because Bryce just became a part of her family and there was no better feeling.

Even after Chiara got together with Ethan, Bryce visits San Francisco with Chiara every summer and there might have been times when he visited without Chiara, too. He sends selfies in his scurbs and doctor’s coat to Diana regularly along with a caption “Have an amazing day! Love you!!!” and Diana shows those photos to her colleagues proudly, because her daughter is an amazing diagnostician and her son is an exceptional surgeon and of course he cannot replace Liam, but he can heal some of her scars and she loves him like her own child.

And Alicia loves Bryce just as much, because she misses having an older brother and also because Bryce is fun. He is a doctor but he still manages to be funny, which Alicia teases Chiara constantly about.

Things change when Alicia meets Keiki (Alicia is 21, Keiki is 17 at the time) and whoa, Keiki is the funny Lahela! And so in the end both Chiara and Bryce are the boring older siblings.

I will end here because this is already much longer than I intended and I could go on forever, I think about this friendship way too often.

Feel free to send any more questions about Chiara! It makes me incredibly happy that you guys enjoy her character.

@takemyopenheart @maurine07 @senseofduties @mercury84choices @flightlessbirdiee @udishaman @honeyandsunfl0wers @ohchoices @adrex04 @queencarb @archxxronrookie @whatchique @drariellevalentine @gryffindordaughterofathena @mvalentine @doilooklikeiknow @custaroonie @secretwolfdreamertree @jamespotterthefirst @starrystarrytrouble @caseyvalentineramsey @open-heart-ramseyyy @whimsicallywayward15 @iemcpbchoices @stygianflood @tsrookie @fireycookie @canigetanawwjunk

[itsthenovelteafactor]

Superhero Gothic

Thanks to everyone who responded to my previous post (special shoutout to @jeyfeather1234 💛 ) about superheroes and gothic media! I know it’s been, like, a month, but here we go.

Here’s a bit of a look into some common gothic themes, and how they apply to Doom Patrol, The Boys, Watchmen (2019), and The Umbrella Academy. This one’s a bit long, not gonna lie, but I hope you enjoy! 

Part I: Let’s Talk About Gothic Media

There is not actually an all-encompassing definition for gothic media, or even a universally agreed-upon one. You’re probably familiar with some well-known gothic works (think Dracula, Frankenstein, Edgar Allen Poe, Stephen King) but there is a lot of debate on what exactly makes them gothic. 

There are some common themes in gothic works, though: families/characters under the control of a tyrannical paterfamilias, the crumbling of the established order/estate, long-buried secrets that have consequences in the present, and supernatural events that are stand-ins for/reflective of the emotional state/past actions of the characters. 

(Note: these aren’t all the themes of gothic works or even most of them, but for purposes here, I’d like to limit this analysis to them. I’d love to talk about other themes/ideas, though, if anyone has them. 😊)

So… superheroes (quick overview in case you haven’t watched any of them… spoiler warnings for the rest of this discussion)

Doom Patrol:

Five misfit superhumans attempt to rescue their mentor figure when he is kidnapped by an old enemy.

They are very, very bad at it.

Also features a singing horse head, a sentient nonbinary teleporting street (who is by far the best character) and the narrator is the fourth-wall breaking series villain. 

Beautifully weird but will also emotionally devastate you. Criminally underrated, tbh.

Watchmen (2019):

Story takes place after the canon of the graphic novel which is too much to summarize.

Alternate history (that should really feel more fictitious than it does) where white supremacist organization the Seventh Cavalry, masked police officers, and former superheroes in hiding all collide in Tulsa Oklahoma

Swept the Emmys this year and ABSOLUTELY DESERVED TO

The Umbrella Academy:

Washed up former child superheroes are forced to reunite when their father dies under mysterious circumstances 

Time travel, dysfunctional siblings, and a killer soundtrack

Basically a family drama with the superhero story as secondary (complimentary)

Probably the most obviously gothic of all of these it is aesthetic AF 

The Boys: 

Superheroes exist but they are corporate sellouts under the control of evil company Not-Amazon (AKA Vought)

Regular human protagonists try to hold them accountable for their actions with varying (read: usually minimal) success

Yes, it’s the one from those weird ads earlier this year

Billy Joel!! 

Part II: Niles Caulder, Ozymandias, and Other Terrible Father Figures

The Tyrannical Paterfamilias: 

Does not always mean a father figure explicitly, often relating to the notion of a patriarchal tradition, or family inheritance that plays a role in controlling the main characters. 

Sometimes, it is a father figure. 

Sometimes, it is a representative of patriarchal tradition/male head of pseudo-family unit.

So, uh, role call: 

Reginald Hargreeves (even in death) holds power over his children, and has shaped all of them into the adults they have become, and that drives the majority of the conflict. Each of the major character individually grapples with the after-effects of his abuse. Luther feels the need to be the leader and protect everyone and alienates his allies as a consequence. Diego constantly asserts himself as a hero (often to dangerous extremes) because it is the only way he was ever valued. Allison has to teach herself boundaries and responsible use of her powers after he encouraged her to abuse them for years. Klaus turns to drugs to cope with his childhood trauma. Five disobeyed his father with disastrous consequences and is constantly fighting to not become him. Vanya spent her entire childhood in the background, and never learned to assert herself in a healthy way. Thanks, Reggie.

Homelander says that The Seven are like a family. While whether or not this is accurate (it isn’t) is up for debate, he does occupy the tyrannical paterfamilias roles incredibly well. Homelander controls every member of the Seven, threatening them and their loved ones whenever they step out of line (read: do not do exactly what he wants in the exact way he wants them to do it.) He is also very closely tied with conservative/patriarchal rhetoric in-universe and at one point dates a literal Nazi. 

William Butcher less evil than most of the other characters on this list but the bar is also like, on the ground. Butcher tries to control the Boys in a similar way (Butcher and Homelander are character foils, okay? it’s actually pretty neat). He’s perfectly willing to sacrifice them in pursuit of his own goals, disregards their points of view and the well-being of their loved ones, and tries to cut loose anyone who disagrees with his methods (recall when Hughie tried to rescue his friends at the end of s1 and Butcher… punched him in the face? Yeah, that.) The difference is that the Boys can push back against his without being, you know, brutally murdered. (And also the Butcher isn’t a literal monster; I’m not anti-Butcher, okay? He’s an interesting character and the fact that he seems constantly on the verge of becoming that which he hates most is part of what makes him interesting.)

Guess what, folks? It’s hating Niles Caulder hours. He engineered accidents to turn the main characters into his test subjects, and then kept them conveniently hidden away in his large manor. Stole their autonomy and independence but paints himself as a benevolent father figure. And that’s not even including what he does to his actual daughter, Dorothy. He’s terrified of her growing up (read: becoming a young woman) and so he locks her away for almost 100 years and, when she is freed, yells at her constantly and makes her terrified of showing any signs of maturation (even though she’s 111 and clearly tired of being written off as a child).

The relationship between Ozymandias and his daughter, Lady Trieu, is integral to the final act of Watchmen. Heralded as the “smartest man in the world,” Ozymandias refused to acknowledge his daughter as his until he needed something from her. While Lady Trieu is more self-sufficient and independent than some of the applications of this trope, she goes to great lengths to prove herself, first to him, and then to herself when he rejects her.

Part III: Been a Long Time Gone (Constantinople) 

Gothic fiction is often associated with change, and particularly, the collapse of established systems of power. For example, many works like The House of the Seven Gables and The Fall of the House of Usher take place in old, crumbling manor houses. There is a reason for this! These kinds of estates are remnants of a past that is irreversibly gone, and their continued presence in decrypt forms serves as a reminder. 

Each of the four series takes place at a moment, either on a wide scale or on a personal scale (or both!), in which an established order is being questioned, and the constant reminders of that failed order are used to gothic effect.

The Umbrella Academy plays this most directly (In fact, there are TONS of parallels between the end of s1 of TUA and House of Usher that I don’t have the time to get into right now... lmk if you want that meta). We can see the Hargreeves mansion as a very literal example of this. While not worn down, the house is notably both very large and very empty. Shelves are filled with merchandise for a superhero team that disbanded over a decade prior, and portraits of a family that no longer speaks to each other. None of the family members ever seem truly comfortable or at ease in the house, and for good reason - every back corner is a reminder of their incredibly traumatic childhood. 

In The Boys, the story begins with the fridging death of the main character’s girlfriend, Robin, at the hands of a member of the Seven, a group of heroes so ingrained in the public consciousness that when they later hide out in a costume shop, literally every single costume is for one of Vought’s heroes. The Seven represent the system in power, which, at the disposal of Not-Amazon means corporate greed, shallow altruism, and the cultivation of public personas at the expense of actual humanity. 

From that moment on, the sheer presence of The Seven on everything from public billboards to breakfast cereal is a remainder for Hughie (and the audience) that this established system doesn’t work and is based on lies, which serves this effect on a personal level. In the broader scale, however, we also see that the Seven themselves are fracturing under an unsustainable business model. Even their name, “The Seven” starts to seem a bit dated when halfway through season one through the end of season two there are notably... less than seven of them. 

The main characters in Doom Patrol are all in recovery after the accidents that irreversibly changed their lives. We see through flashbacks the people that they used to be, and the difference is striking. They were each established in their own elements: Cliff a famous race-car driver, Rita a world renowned actress, Larry a hero pilot, Jane was involved in counter-cultural movements, Vic was a student and athlete. The foundations upon which their worlds were established are completely decimated by the accidents, and now they (save Vic and sometimes Jane) live mostly in isolation in Niles’ manor house, an estate that is far larger than would be necessary to comfortably house a group of their size.

And you feel the emptiness, both in the manor, and in the lives of the characters. They have barely created a shadow version of their own existence when the series starts, so fragile that a simple trip into town devolves into utter chaos. 

Angela Abar of Watchmen has also constructed a life following the terrifying act of terrorism on the White Night. It’s a bit of a double life, and we see that the balancing act is challenging for her, even before the story truly begins. The death of Judd Crawford, and the revelation about him that follows is not only traumatizing on a personal level (but it definitely is that), but also upsets her understanding of the world. People she’s come to trust are not just dishonest but truly monstrous. And the more Angela learns about what has been happening, the more her understanding of the world begins to unravel. Her memories, and the memories of those around her are cast in a much more sinister light, and the effect is genuinely chilling. 

Part IV: “I’m the Little Girl Who Threw the Brick in the Air”

In episode 3 of Watchmen, Laurie contacts Dr. Manhattan on the cosmic phone booth to tell him a joke. It’s a version of what TVTropes calls the “brick joke,” and it relies on set up taking place early on, other stuff happening, and then the response coming at an unexpected moment. 

So, yeah. Events of the past/buried secrets resurfacing with consequences in the present.

Continuing with the theme from Watchmen, the entire series is punctuated with the way the past and the present intertwine, with elements from both the original Watchmen graphic novel, and actual American history. One of the things we talked a lot about in my gothic lit class was the manner in which the overhanging specter of past atrocities casts a shadow over the present, and how many works cannot help but have gothic themes because there are so many horrifying things in the past that cannot be ignored, and provide both context and nuance for the discussions we have in the present. No series tackles these topics quite so directly (and with as much care) as Watchmen. (note: it does not always make for easy viewing, but if you’re in a place where you feel like you can engage with that kind of material, I highly recommend the show.)

In Doom Patrol, the past actions of the characters very much control the storyline (see: previous discussion of Niles Caulder), but the character whose storyline I want to talk about here is Rita (partially for plot reasons and partially because I just love Rita, okay?). We learn when we first meet Rita that in the past she was... not a great person. We know that the trauma of the accident that gave her her powers has changed her, we also know that she still holds on to the guilt and that her guilt has limited the scope of her world for years, but we don’t know what exactly it is that she’s done. 

Enter Mr. Nobody, all-powerful narrator who is not just aware of Rita’s greatest sins, but perfectly capable of manifesting reminders of them into the story. She is confronted with empty cradles, and the sound of crying children in the background of many scenes and we see how much it effects her, without a full understanding of why it does (see: The Tell-Tale Heart). Her past begins to haunt her physically, and she begins to crumble in response to it, until finally she is forced to confide in a stranger (and thus the audience). The past actions do not just inform the audience of Rita’s character - they show up to influence her behavior in the present. 

The ending of The Umbrella Academy season 1 is super evocative of the gothic genre with Vanya breaking open the soundproof chamber (wherein she was silenced for years) and rising from the basement to destroy the last remnants of the Hargreeves legacy (which would be awesome if the last remnants of the Hargreeves legacy didn’t include the rest of her family). Pretty much every mistake the siblings make over the course of the season feeds together to create the finale, but the primary cause isn’t something any of them actually did. It all ties back to Reginald Hargreeves’ complete inability to be nice to children. Any children. His own and random strangers that need help. 

In The Boys, while the extent to which people are making f-ed up choices in the present cannot be expressed enough, we see through the characters of Homelander that many of the present difficulties are a result of past mistakes. Particularly, the profit-seeking corruption within Vought. We learn in s1 through Vogelbaum that Homelander was raised in a lab by Vought as an experiment, only to be unceremoniously thrust into the spotlight and told he was a superhero (which... does not justify a single one of his actions but is still a major yikes). As the head scientist of the project, Vogelbaum is very aware that ignoring his conscious if the name of research has essentially created the biggest threat their world has ever seen. 

(Seriously y’all just stop raising your super kids in isolation) 

Part V: Put Them Together, and They’re the MF-ing Spice Girls 

Having the environment respond to characters’ emotions/mental states is pretty common in gothic works (it was a dark and stormy night = someone is probably not doing super well). One of the advantages of the genre’s tendency towards the supernatural is that, often, those elements of the stories, as well, are reflections of the main ideas of a work of fiction (see: Stephen King’s really unsubtle period metaphors).

Because all of these shows have a ton of supernatural/scifi elements by virtue of being, well, superhero shows, I thought it would be easier (and more fun!) to come up with a short list of elements, what they mean, and what cases they might apply to.

1. A Nonlinear Experience of Time

The Umbrella Academy: legitimately about time travel. Characters are attempting to fix the timeline but are unable to because they are both mentally and sometimes literally stuck in the past. 

Watchmen: In the episode This Extraordinary Being, Angela experiences firsthand the experiences of her grandfather, under the influence of a drug called Nostalgia. The episode touches on many themes, one of which being the impact of generational trauma in marginalized communities. Throughout the series, Dr. Manhatten is cursed with experiencing all time at once, and the episode A God Walks into Abar illustrates that, because of this, he is constantly facing the consequences of particular actions before, after, and while he is preforming him.

Doom Patrol: Mr. Nobody is able to physically travel to one of Jane’s flashbacks via his fourth-wall breaking powers, and gives Dr. Harrison an ultimatum for the future. 

What it implies: Events, particularly events that evoke guilt or conflict, are not as rooted in the past as one would like to think.

2. Powers/Abilities that reflect personal trauma/failings

Doom Patrol: Larry’s abilities/bond with the Negative Spirit have made it so that he is constantly covering himself with bandages/avoiding other people, which reflects his experiences having to hide his identity as a gay man in the 50/60s. Rita forced herself to walk a thin line, betraying everything in pursuit of her image; her abilities require constant effort to keep her entire body from becoming misshapen and out of control. Vic’s father with boundary issues can literally control his perception of the world through his cybernetic enhancements. Dorothy’s abilities manifest as imaginary friends because she was kept isolated for years at a time. 

The Umbrella Academy: pretty much all of the kids’ powers are representative of the interpersonal skills they were never able to develop. Luther is super-durable but also the most emotionally vulnerable of the group. Five can teleport and time travel but always seems to be too late to stop things. Diego can manipulate the trajectory of projectiles but cannot escape the path his father set out for him, not matter how much he resents it. Vanya always forced herself to stay quiet until the sound literally explodes out of her.

The Boys: Annie’s abilities allow her to control light, but she struggles (in the beginning) to bring to light the horrible things done to her behind closed doors. 

Watchmen: Not technically a power, but Looking Glass’ mirror-mask is a constant reminder of the hall of mirrors that both saved his life and traumatized him forever. 

What it implies: from a story perspective, these allow for an exploration of trauma/guilt to occur on a scale much larger than people simply talking about their problems (as if anyone on any of these shows knows how to talk about their problems...) It also means that the trauma/guilt of the characters takes on a physical form that is able to haunt them, and constantly remind them/hold them accountable for their past actions.

3. Diluted Sense of Reality:

Doom Patrol: The first season is narrated by its main villain, and throughout the season we see that the act of narration itself has an impact on the story.

Watchmen: The event that kicks off the plot of the story is hinged upon a paradox introduced by Angela near the end of the series when trying to speak to her Grandfather in the past through Dr. Manhattan.

The Umbrella Academy: The pair of episodes in season 1, The Day that Wasn’t and The Day That Was take the same point in time and explore two possible avenue for the future from there, with The Day that Wasn’t ending with the events of the entire episode being completely erased from the timeline.

What it implies: you can’t necessarily trust everything you see, even from the audience perspective, giving them a position not unlike that of the characters. The character’s uncertainty and confusion is magnified and reflected in the world that surrounds them.

Other examples: an apocalypse (The Umbrella Academy, Doom Patrol, Watchmen (of a sort)), ghosts (The Umbrella Academy - hi, Ben!), immortality/invulnerability (Watchmen, Doom Patrol, The Boys), and characters that look significantly younger than they actually are (The Boys, The Umbrella Academy, Doom Patrol). 

Part VI: Why Did You Write a Literal Essay Don’t You Have Real Schoolwork (yes... shhhhh...)

And... there you have it. I don’t really have some grand conclusion here. This is (clearly) far from a complete analysis but it is the most my finals-week brain can concoct at the moment. 

If you have other ideas, let me know! You can always add to the notes or message me – my inbox is always open!  If you got this far, thank you so much for taking the time to read this! Much love! ❤️

[urbancripple]

I’ve updated my gear page and added more of my recent recommendations. I also fixed the shitty image formatting so stuff isn’t cut off :D

Each purchase made through those links helps support my site. So many of your have done that recently and it’s been a great help with keeping things running around here. I deeply appreciate it.

This article contains one or more Amazon Affiliate Links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Urban Cripple’s Wheelchair Gear and Accessories

If you want suggestions on what kind of gear you should get for your wheelchair, check out this list.

Wheelchair Tools

Every Day Carry (EDC)

In the Kitchen

Around the House

Bags and Carrying Cases

Food and Fuel

Wheelchair Tools

I don’t carry a ton of gear with me when I go out, but what I do have is super critical to staying safe and mobile while rolling through god‐knows‐what in the streets. Most of this stuff falls in the “Oh shit!” category. You won’t need it every day, but you’ll be glad you have it when you do.

Tekton Long Arm Ball End Hex Key Wrench Set

Most wheelchair components are held together with either with some kind of hex screw. If something goes wrong, you’re going to need a set of wrenches to fix it.

I like this particular set because it comes with both metric and standard wrenches and folds so it can lay flat in your bag or tool wrap.

Pedro’s Tire Levers

Don’t let their size fool you: these are great tire levers. What I love most about these things is the fact that they come in pairs and are designed to wrap around a spoke so you can keep one in place while using the other to remove the tire.

When not in use, they snap together and can easily be tossed in a bag or stashed under your chair.

PRO Bike CO2 Inflator

If you realize your tires are dangerously low after leaving the house or you pop a tube and need to reinflate the replacement, you’ll need a C02 inflator.

Make sure you always keep a couple of spare cartridges on you and remember to never store a fresh C02 cartridge in the inflator: it’ll just be flat by the time you need it.

Black And Decker ASI300 Air Station Inflator

For regular tire maintenance, I really love this air compressor. It’s powerful enough to fill a standard wheelchair tire but small enough to travel in a vehicle. It can even be powered by your car’s DC outlet.

Every Day Carry

This is the stuff I keep with me and use every day.

Foldable Phone Stand That Fits In Your Wallet

It’s a ridiculous piece of plastic and aluminum, but it fits in your wallet and actually works really well to hold your phone up. I use it when doing video calls with coworkers so I don’t have to move my laptop, open it up and plug in my wired headphones.

Harbinger Pro Non‐Wristwrap Weightlifting Gloves

By far, gloves are the most important piece of gear for your chair. City streets are super gross and full of hazards that can stain, cut, or bruise your hands. A good pair of gloves should offer you plenty of protection from hazards while allowing you to maintain your grip, dexterity, and the ability to use touch‐sensitive devices like a smartphone.

That’s why I love these weightlifting gloves from Harbinger. They have enough padding in the palms to protect from dirt, grime, and heat (gripping your tires while going down hill can burn your hands) while the fingerless design lets you keep your dexterity and use a smartphone.

Tactical Flashlight

I know we all usually use our phones when we need a flashlight, but I find a dedicated flashlight to be a lot more effective ( and a lot less expensive if you drop it.)

These flashlights are small, light, and crazy bright. They also come with various modes including strobe and S.O.S.

Contigo Extreme Vacuum Insulated Stainless Steel Travel Mug with Handle

The only way you can safely carry a hot beverage while pushing a wheelchair is by keeping it in an airtight container. I really like this mug because it’s insulated and has a clip. The clip is great because you can easily attach it to your bag or to the back of your chair (I use the backrest release bar). Because it seals so well, you don’t have to worry about it spilling.

Snap Lock Folding Pocket Knife

I like this knife because it’s small, sharp, and easy to carry. Just don’t accidentally leave it in your jeans for the TSA to find (true story).

AmazonBasics Lightning Cable

Fun fact: lightning cables are super cheap if you get them from anywhere except Apple.

Cocoon Grid‐IT Organizer

These things are great for taking all the small stuff that usually ends up rolling around in your bag and keeping it in one place.

Portable Charger Power Bank 22400mAh

Having your phone die is terrifying. This thing will charge your phone and tablet several times over. However, it does take a long time to charge the battery itself.

Slim Portable Charger Power Bank 10000mah

It won’t charge your device as fast or as many times, but it won’t take up nearly as much room in your bag as the other battery.

In the Kitchen

Cooking while everything that is boiling or on fire is at face‐level can be a bit daunting. Here’s some stuff that’ll make it safer and easier.

Meal Prep Containers: 3 Compartment with Lids, Food Containers

These meal prep containers are microwave/dishwasher safe and they stack. It’s a great way to prep meals and save yourself some time and energy.

Extra‐Large Silicone Freezing Tray with Lid

These trays are great for freezing stews and sauces and such. I do a lot of large batch cooking and these are waaay easier than trying to portion stuff out into ziplock bags. The lids make it easy to move it around one handed (what wheelchair user hasn’t gotten wet trying to refill an ice cube tray?)

Silicone Baking Mat

These things are a life saver in the kitchen. Basically, if you use them, you’ll never have to clean a baking sheet/pan ever again.

16 inch Kitchen Tongs

When sitting in a wheelchair and using the stove top, it can be really tough to reach both the temperature dials and anything sitting on the back burner. These super long tongs let you easily reach and turn the knobs on your stove and anything that might be sizzling away on your back burners.

Ove Glove

These things are machine washable and can withstand up to 540 degrees of temperature. They grip well and make it easy to get stuff in and out of the oven. In a pinch, they’ll even double as a makeshift pot holder.

OXO Steel Press & Pour Insulated Cocktail Shaker

If you’re looking for a cocktail shaker that doesn’t freeze your hands off, won’t burst open, and can be operated with one hand, you should get this one. I make a lot of cocktails at home and I really hate cocktail shakers. Your standard Boston style shaker has a tendency to break open on you if you don’t seal it right (and that means your chair gets covered in booze) and it’s a pain to open if you seal it too tightly. This cocktail shaker has a really straight‐forward design. The top is screw-on, it has a simple push button in the lid for pouring and sealing, and it can pour from any direction. I highly recommend it for folks who wanna mix drinks at home but don’t wanna risk wearing their beverage.

Around the House

This is the stuff I keep around specifically because it makes daily life easier for me when I’m at home.

Microfiber Cleaning Cloth

For folks trying to keep their place clean while avoiding using up too many cleaning wipes or paper towels, I’ve found that having a stack of cheap microfiber cloths on hand plus a mix of water and vinegar in a spray bottle really helps keep things sparkly while cutting down on waste.

Multi‐Position Heavy Duty Folding Hand Truck and Dolly

This dolly is great if you need to move something that’s too big or too heavy to carry on your lap. It can be configured in multiple ways and folds up easily for storage.

Retractable Dog Leash

Walking your dog with a standard leash can be tough if you’re in a wheelchair. I use a retractable dog leash with my dog so that I can easily adjust the amount of slack I need to keep her under control while not getting the leash tangled in my chair. In addition, the size of the handle lets me easily loop it through the buckle of my Grab‐It Pack, which means I can securely hold onto the dog while pushing my chair with both hands.

Bags and Carrying Cases

All of the various bags and slings I use to carry stuff when I’m out of the house.

13.3 Inch Sling Bag Riding Hiking Bag Single Shoulder Backpack

13.3 Inch Sling Bag Riding Hiking Bag Single Shoulder Backpack

This bag is small and doesn’t have a ton of storage, but I wanted something that I could wear constantly and had just enough room to hold my backup charging cables and small tools so that I could go out without having to have as much physically strapped to me. If you need something with more storage, they have a bunch of different sizes that are meant to hold more stuff.

This isn’t the exact bag I use day‐to‐day but it is the correct style. I really like the sling style bags: they’re light enough to not restrict my movement and the single strap means it won’t shift around as I push my chair.

Food and Fuel

This is the stuff I carry with me in case I’m too busy to pack a proper meal.

ThinkThin High Protein Bars

It’s always a good idea to keep some kind of portable snack in your bag if you think you’re going to be out and about for an extended period of time. I like to keep a couple of these ThinkThin bars in my bag just in case I’m stuck between meal times. They don’t taste like death or cardboard and they’re not just a glorified candy bar.

[bedlamgames]

No Haven 0.962

Highlights for this one includes new Assignments, Maid Training, a new race in the Gorgons, (Fel) improvements, Biomancy options, and more

Download links can be found on the No Haven page. Update notes can be found under the break.

If you don’t have RAGS and you need a copy to run it there’s one on the help page here or the one pinned on the patreon you can find a link to in the attached read me which is more up to date. If RAGS has never worked on your system despite the help page suggestions then it might be worth trying with one of the alternate players. There’s also improvements on there to the RAGS player that can also help with performance.

0.96 to 0.962 Change logs under the break:

0.962 Change Log

-New Commissions: ---Female Draki not wearing Maid Outfits Examine. Will be an assignment in a future update. ---Kitsune slaves that aren't Heal Sluts, High Elf Futanari, and Amazon Futanari Examines using various versions of a commission that has another version that will be an assignment in a future update. -The Armour Bug: ---Trying something out, and so now armour and clothing will both be found under Restraints, Clothing, and Armour so they're no longer split like they were before which I'm hoping will solve the problem. I've also removed the count check which I suspect might have been part of the problem. -Miscellaneous additions: ---When I was testing Fiendish I decided to make it so that Succubi, Dark Elves, Abyss Troll, Quintari, Horned Ones, Golems, and Night Goblins are a bit more likely to start with Sadist as some of them didn't have any Sadist in their base packages at all and for others they didn't have enough as it was before. I've also added the rare chance of Fiendish, and the somewhat rare chance of Sadist to Fallen though not if they're Bimbos. ---Updated the starting basic clothing options for Centaurs, Gorgons, and Harpies so they'll less often be naked. ---Player Gorgons now always have Perceptive and Terrifying even after going through Full Custom. ---The Gorgon Promoted Slaver (TF Edition only) will now start as Feminine as standard and will have the usual Feminine options on Full Custom. ---Harpies will no longer be offered gloves as accessories to buy at the Ensnared Rose. ---Heal Sluts have been told to stop interfering with Rynhart's 'recharging'. ---Added a lore page for Alison Graye. ---Goblins and Hakh on the taller side who would have got a custom generated outfit will now get a regular size instead of a Goblin style one. ---Improved the odds on the Golem start aspect Embodiment of Warfare. ---Neko wear now includes fingerless mittens. ---The Ooze Caller is now calling all oozes even more than they were before with the added trait Leader (Lea) and an improved aspect. -Bug fixes: ---Fix for Lesson in Futility being the only Ensnared Rose assignment that when expiring would clear the active task and increase your debt. Now Under Lock and Key and Package will work correctly like Futility was. ---Fix for an unintentional and rather unfortunate name that came out of the Zharr generator. I've also updated the current ones as there weren't nearly enough 'z's in there as it was. ---Fix for Rhys Ashenscale infecting someone else with her lamia accent. ---Fix for a potential unending loop on buying accessories at the Ensnared Rose. Added some additional resetting of variables prior ensuring that a rare CT Error doesn't happen again. ---Fix for Sinuous Entrancement not showing up on the Examine if the Lamia does have Hypnotic. ---Fix for a potential issue where the name change on gaining a will-tamer results in blank name so added an emergency one based on the former wearer back in RL2. ---Fix for slaves being made into slavers losing their trait descriptions. ---FIx for not being able to select a slave wandering sister on the second part of Temple Takeover. ---Fix for likely a bunch of things, but what it was found with was with Rynhart's aspect. What was happening was due to suggestions checking traits of everyone in the encampment available to go it would then assume they were present if they had anything special for being on the assignment. Now that variable is cleared after traits are checked on a recommendation which will fix the problem. ---Fix for some issues with Lady-in-Waiting. ---Fix for the double menu issue on some of the Start-Extra Options where the first click would not be recognised.

0.961 Change Log

-Miscellaneous additions: ---To reflect other options now being available I've changed the text description of petrified slaves on Finish Day. -Bug fixes: ---Fix for stripping a slave then breaking what they were wearing when you try to select it.

0.96 Change Log

-New Assignments: ---A new Uncommon City of Aversol Assignment which is effectively the upgraded version of Pillow Talk. Has three versions of a commission generously provided by a patron. Has submissive specific text of course given the theme, but can also be done as fully dominant not counting the Disaster, cause y'know it's the Disaster. As part of the work on this new Assignment I've expanded and improved the Pillow Talk intro. Mainly to reflect why you don't get extra gold by going yourself as the old intro implied the slaver going kept most of the gold they earned there. Also now has an alternate version if you're a Puppet Leader, and another if you're Possessed. The Pillow Talk Critical Success text has also been updated, including making the subby ones more subby, the dominant result more dominant, and now will generate the new Assignment rather than a Pillow Talk repeat. On the new assignment and on Pillow Talk, if the slaver is one who would always obey you in respect checks due to their trait, being a specific unique, or the scenario they will earn the same bonus gold, as if you had gone while having the best trait bonuses. So that's Submissive without Sex Addict on the Critical Success (Submissive and Sex Addict is a bonus on that result but a lower one) and Submissive on the Success. Has been added to the Artful Whore Aspect and the Festival of the Light Event. ---A new Standard City of Aversol Assignment which is a new way to purchase supplies. Has a SFW landscape commission generously funded by a patron. Can provide supplies even on a Failure. On all results apart from Disaster there's one of six different events that can happen which are affected for the better or worse by the quality of the result, whether you went, traits, races, and even one of the scenarios. Plan is to expand this with more events in later updates. ---A new Rare City of Aversol Assignment which is the longest assignment to date. The actual Assignment is not that long, however if you Critical or Success it extends to over thirty days with rewards to make it worth your while. Has a commission with two variants generously provided by a patron. Potentially can get a Unique slaver with a new aspect. ---A new Common Deep Mountains Assignment which is similar to A Corner of their Very Own but Slavers (and You) can be sent in the Slave role. Uses the commission for Forest Goblin slaves. Has been added to the Artful Whore Aspect. ---A new Standard [Unlockable Region] Assignment which might be one of the mechanically different Assignments I've done. Reason being is it doesn't use the existing Assignment mechanics at all, and instead has a specific way of seeing how well you do on a variety of different factors. Has a commission generously provided by a patron. ---A new Rare Dreadsea Coast Assignment which is based around an outside of the ordinary Fae. Has a commission generously provided by a patron. Potentially can get a Unique slaver with a new Enchanted Item. ---A new Special Great Plains Assignment which is the third part of Temple Takeover. Has a commission generously funded by a patron. Can improve the existing Unique slaver from the previous part with a new Aspect. Can reward a special Encampment Upgrade, which is improved if you used the Unique slaver. Due to this Assignment it is now possible for Lamia to be Convent. Uses the commission for this Assignment, and are most definitely rare. -New Commissions: ---Coastal Caves. Will also be used for Lamia slavers with Sneaky (Sne). Also used with a zoomed in version for both Sea Elf and Savage Orc slavers (those with Magic:Corruption or Depraved will still use the Profane Ritual one). There was also a nice variation for the Sea Elf with a tattoo that I didn't think worked with the whole piece and so instead have used it to replace the Promoted Sea Elf portrait. That's had an updated description to reflect that. ---Cutprice Roses. ---Vicarage Tarts. ---Succubus Futanari Examine (an update to the Hold back the Dark commission). ---A Truly Scandalous Affair. When you don't have the Semi-Unique Lago'Mae that starts the Biomancy storyline yet the new art with her will be used. If not, the existing artwork will be used. Then on a Critical Success where you would get the Semi-Unique you'll get the alternate version with her being enslaved that will also be used for the unique Lago'Mae's Examine art. Any other result, then the existing artwork will be used. ---Nest of Vipers. Also used for Lamia slavers (replacing the Marshlands one which will be used for that specific encounter when that is a thing), and the Coastal Caves Critical Success. Will also be used for Lamia players or those with Lamia heritage during Nightly Activity Hypnotizing or Respect Checks using the Hypnotise option. ---Encampment Upgrade Centaur Outrider. Includes variations for each of her three upgrades. For now will be used for buying Encampment Upgrades in general until I get more done with the exception of expanding the encampment/pit which will use the existing Encampment art (or golem ones if playing that scenario). -Maid Training: ---New Basic and Advanced Training. Has commissions for both parts which has been used before for Lago'Mae wearing a Maid outfit. ---Camp Bitches with either Maid Training will find extra supplies. Those who have the Advanced Maid Training will also be more likely to find supplies. ---Basic will apply a Maid outfit if the slave is not wearing one like Ponygirl training. Will get a better one on a Critical Success. Advanced will also apply a Maid Outfit has been removed since Basic has been done which will be sluttier. ---Basic can be done without losing Innocent (Inn), and has some extra text on the Critical Success result to reflect this. ---Basic has a different Disaster if you are doing it with a different negative outcome. -Gorgons: ---New race, available as all possible genders. Can be played (with Fav/Unf specific to them), can be slavers, and can also be slaves. ---Uses an alternate version of the Artistry in Flesh commission for Females and the Promoted Slaver portrait. ---For the regular starting portraits, the Futanari and Male examines, and for different permutations of sexytimes with different genders there's a whopping eight different versions. The examines will also vary between the cum/non-cum on Female versions. ---Artistry in Flesh has been overhauled with some re-writing to the existing text. Now has an alternate version which you will need to go on yourself to be able to unlock Gorgons as a race. After that has been done they'll begin to appear like any other of the rarer races. Or you can start as one where they will automatically be available, but then the Artistry in Flesh Assignment will not be available for that playthrough. ---Can petrify or unpetrify a slave in the same way as a Petrification Potion. This can be done once a day via an option on Make Use of for Gorgon slavers, and as a Personal Assignment if you're playing one yourself. ---Have a new powerful racial, which doesn't just include their petrification abilities, and of course also a new lore page for the race. -Fel Tainted Rework: ---The trait now has a ranking of (0) to (5) from no negative effect and very little positive effect, to as per the old trait and counting twice. ---Now when the trait would have been applied in the past there's a roll to see if it increases and by how much. There are twenty five separate modifiers including a bunch of different traits, races, aspects, and the current position on the tracker. ---There's a new help complete with lore explanations to fully break down how all of this works in detail. -Biomancy Improvements ---Futafication and Race Changing is now enabled so Nearly Impossible no longer is actually Impossible. Nearly Impossible is now a base 10% and the various modifiers can affect that as any other option. ---These are not their full power versions which are still planned for the final part of the Biomancy Storyline. As such Futafication will require Resilient (Res) and Strong (Str) for the attempt while Race Changes has a whole bunch of things that might disqualify them from the attempt including being Fel Tainted (Fel) or being one on of the more non-standard body sizes like lamia or driders. ---Races Changes in the non full power version works similar to how it did in Whorelock's Revenge and so races will have a set destination race. Meaning you might need to do two or many races changes depending on where they started from and where the target you're aiming for is on the chain.   ---Futafication in the non full power version will likely need more Biomancy work on the cock and breasts to get them up to the proper Futa standard. ---Both have possible exceptional results.   -Miscellaneous additions: ---To celebrate the lovely Nest of Vipers artwork Lamia have gained a new racial if they have Hypnotic (Hyp) in Sinuous Entrancement to improve their hypnotic powers during Nightly Activities, Respect Checks, and on Assignments. ---Increased the Expiry of Imperial Muses by 5 days. ---Advanced Blowjob Training Success can now Lightly Establish the Suck Cock mantra based on the Trainer has one of the possible mental affecting traits or it can still happen with a low chance without them. ---Advanced Lesbian Training Success can now Lightly Establish the Sapphic mantra based on the Trainer has one of the possible mental affecting traits or it can still happen with a low chance without them. ---Advanced Obedience Training Success can now Lightly Establish the Obedience mantra based on the Trainer has one of the possible mental affecting traits or it can still happen with a low chance without them. ---Advanced Sissification Training Success can now Lightly Establish the Sissification mantra based on the Trainer has one of the possible mental affecting traits or it can still happen with a low chance without them. ---As Pillow Talk and Silken Pillows now makes use of this for some extra variation in the result text, the generator that's sometimes used for human/beastkin names (where they don't have a more specific one) and is more likely to to apply if they are beastkin or a Bimbo (now also if they have Slutty) has had a bunch of new names added. ---Text and effect improvements to the Bissected Armour gained from A Deluge of Oozes. ---Goblins now, rather than always having a slightly reduced booty, have a chance to get a decent bonus to their butt size on generation. ---New trait combo in Fiendish (Sdt+/Fnd-). Rare chance to be generated on Succubi, Dark Elves, Abyss Troll, Quintari, Horned Ones, Golems, and Night Goblins with a better chance to be found on Legion. Has an attached new aspect with that as a requirement which is effectively an upgraded Talented Tormentor. ---Because someone on the discord mentioned it there's now three different NH breeds of tiny dogs for Beastmasters as possible alternatives to the pack of lizards. ---Split up the Temple Turncoat Critical/Success results so some of them are much less of a wall than they used to be. Also the Success with an Obedient Convent was missing a You reference. -Bug fixes: ---Fix for the slaves on Quicker than They Like being a base higher quality on the Success than on the Critical. ---Fix for Futanari becoming Female on Quick as You Like (double check these two didn't get lose due to save/not touching game for awhile) ---Fix for the excessive number of supplies being given on a Success on Icebreaker. ---Fix for playing as a Golem not getting Terrifying automatically at the start of the game. ---Fix for undoing a Petrification potion not inflicting the potential slave wear effects it was supposed to. ---Fix for Ponygirl Training not checking whether the slave is wearing Unchangeable Attire or if it can be crafted correctly and so wouldn't extend the current seamstress timer if applicable. I've also changed it so now the check is also on the slave having the crafting traits (as then they can make it themself at the slaver's direction). Now if there's no crafting traits, no role currently filled with a crafter, and no purchased encampment one now the assignment can be done, but will cost some extra gold if available or morale if not to reflect that outfit had to come from somewhere. The new maid training will work the same way though will need less gold available to reflect those outfits being easier to come by. ---Fix for Artistry in Flesh not checking for the required traits or potion. ---Fix for the following assignments not being checked for the Diplomacy rank up bonus assignments: Little Demon, Big City, Tall Tails, A Gem's True Cost, and Best Left Sealed ---Fix for Willpower being able to go over 100 with gentle training disasters. ---Fix for Festival of the Light not increasing the gold cost of going on Scout the City. ---Fix for Stars in Their Eyes displaying the Disaster result twice. ---Fix for some issues with the sentence construction with bondage including piercings.

[female-overlord-3]

Inevitable

@bestillmyslashyheart 💛 @caitlesshea 💛 @andrea-lyn and 💛 @imawriteriwrite have an Old Guard fic thanks to this

Ao3

It hasn't been that long. Nile feels a bit more settled in her place with the others, their purpose and want to continue to be the good today that makes a wave for tomorrow. It's only been 8 years since everything changed, not enough time to pass that the scope of being immortal has hit her yet, but enough to know she's nowhere near who she used to be, just a bit older with gained life experience. 

They've taken a few jobs, good ones that help fuel their spirits and bring satisfaction to their new look on life. Nile thinks that Andy being able to live an actual life now has done her good. Now Andy can find some peace from her exhaustion of living so long, finding that she's missed being able to teach and share all that she knows.

Both Nile and her aren't the most patient sometimes, Andy wanting to keep going when she should rest or Niles stubborn determination to learn as much as she can. They clash like incoming ships unwilling to shift out of the way. Joe and Nicky do their best to take care of them, provide a distraction or say calming words. Though they've traveled and stayed in hotels when necessary, it's a small simple house in the woods just on the outskirts of a village they consider home. It belongs to Nicky and Joe, one they found and claimed just after the village it neighbors, became an actual village. They've maintained it through the years, updated when needed, the place filled with stories and memories. Still filled with the love that Joe and Nicky share.

Nile is filled with so many questions and endless curiosity, her want to know almost matched with the want that both men share when talking about the other and all the things they've experienced together. It must be so exciting to be able to speak freely about their past with someone new, to voice all the love and time Nicky and Joe have.

It's inspiring to be in the presence of such an old and strong love.

It's around 2 years later, after it's been Niles first full decade of being an immortal that Andy tells her a hard truth, a warning to keep in mind.

"One day, you will hate them for it, just a little bit." 

They're camped deep in a jungle in the Amazon, just finished a job but taking their time to enjoy the journey back. They're resting up in the trees in a makeshift platform made from anchored cables and a stretched tarp, branches intersecting to create an almost bridge to rest on.

Nile quirks a brow at Andy from her spot. Andy rests against the trunk of the tree with Nile between her and the men curled together asleep.

"Wanna add some context?" Her voice is teasing but she knows who Andy is talking about.

They stare at each other for a long moment before an unspoken understanding is made.

Nile knows that Joe and Nicky got lucky, not just in prolonged life but in love too. It's something she knows added to Booker's desperation for an end and Andy's haunted yet wistful moments. Love like this is something one can easily be jealous of, angry and hurt from because it's something so rare yet highly coveted. Love that's all consuming, such devotion and adoration that's only grown stronger that Nile believes these two men are the reason people created the idea of soulmates. 

For Nile that type of love is slightly terrifying but also something she does possibly hope for in small moments of being near Nicky and Joe. To find someone who is yours and becomes the only one who will truly know you once everyone else has gone. To have a constant in a world that never stops changing.

Nile knows that what Andy is telling her is true, that having that painful truth known and felt now, accepted to some degree will allow a greater pain in the future to be dulled. 

Nile understands this but also knows that for now she loves them dearly. They are her family, the ones that help anchor her when everything becomes too much for her still young mind. Unlike Andy and Booker, Nicky and Joe are able to live in the immense amount of time they were given. Live with and for each other. Nile hopes that's what Booker's learning now, what she sees Andy is starting to relearn after so long.

Andy was too hurt by what she lost and wasn't able to save, what she still holds onto even as the burden lights the tiniest but everyday. Booker let his pain from loss consume him, blind and bind him to only seeing the past or all that time takes.

Nile still battles with the conflict of letting her family go, the anger and sadness of losing the one she had then given one she didn't choose. She chooses them now, continues to choose them because that's what love is and she would rather be happy and feel connected to these special people who will be with her until their time has come.

It does happen though, one day so far away. It's long after they've allowed Booker back, sooner than expected after they find out about Quynh. Almost three decades instead of the full century. It's after they deal with the bloody mess and heartbreaking pain she brought. The fury and insanity that nearly destroyed them all until that too mended. The death they thought would be Andy's last but wasn't, the revelation and further questions of why they are how they are.

It's the day the world almost burns. Niles fourth one actually but something about this one sunk deeper than the others. She is reminded again why Andy felt so tired, so exhausted with her spirit nearly broken. Nile remembers Andy's words and what they meant then but what she prepared for and expected did not pass. The world almost burned and destroyed itself and she wants to hate it, leave the wreck and despair behind for all those lost to it but she can't.

The day Nile feels the smallest true spark of pure hatred for these two men, a spark that barely has a chance to flicker before dying out, is because they keep her anchored when she wants nothing but to be set free.

"We cannot abandon the world Nile. This is our purpose and curse. We are the keepers of balance so tomorrow is better than today." Joe whispers calmly in her ear while keeping her caged in his arms. The words steal some of the air from the fire trying to burn her from inside out.

Nicky stands in front of her, hands holding her face so he is all she can see and not the horror waiting beyond him.

"You were the one who reminded us we still do good when you became one of us. You helped open our eyes to our why Nile so we will remind you now. We not only get the chance to plant the seeds of good but we are able to watch them grow, to prosper and see what they create."

Three more sets of arms reach to embrace and hold her. She crumbles into them as the pain and anguish continue to crash into her like the most righteous storm but slowly it calms then the pitch black clouds turn grey then white until it's clear and there is peace.

The world nearly burned but they are still there. They can help rebuild and nurture humanity from this scar because they have the time, the will, and the heart.

"Thank you." Her voice is small and fragile but it settles through everyone like a needed weight.

Nile realizes that even though she was the one who helped bring back their will and purpose to keep doing the right thing, it's because of the love that Nicky and Joe have for not just themselves or their small found family, but humanity as well.

She thought she would hate them because of what she could never have but instead she did, for the faintest moment, hate them for what their love could and will continue to do until their time comes: Inspire to keep going. To love and live. To care. To stay. To see their garden grow til the end.